#in fact it really can’t because things will never align the same away unless it was meant to
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strawberry-halla · 2 days ago
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screaming sobbing at the very idea that felassan was right and the realization solas must have felt as he’s falling in love with the very mortals he didn’t view as people.
solas thought he could run away from this, taking the most drastic of measures by killing one of his most trusted friends so there would be no doubts.
but then, the universe finds a way. the red string attaches itself to him and pulls.
you want to disregard humanity, solas? try doing so when it fights back in the form of someone who accepts you as you are. can you truly end everything when she unravels the knots that hide away your spirit?
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tempenensis · 4 years ago
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the dancing elephants
Special-grade, as its name implies, is at the peak of the power pyramid. Each of them pack a power equal to, as Ijichi said, a cluster bomb. The clash of several special-grades cause Shibuya and Tokyo in extension to be rendered into ruin. And among the few special-grades or similarly leveled, no one is more mysterious than these two; the Brain and Tsukumo Yuki. 
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“The next stage of humanity lies in breaking away from cursed energy.” “Wrong. It’s the optimization of cursed energy.”
From these panels alone, we know that these two are designed to be on the opposite side. Not to mention the visual given to them; Yuki with lighter color and background, standing opposing the Brain in Getou’s body with his dark color and background. Looking deeper to their respective characters along the story, they are comparable to two sides of the same coin, as they have the same interest in the connection of curses and cursed energy to not one or few people, but to humanity in general, but has vastly different opinion of what has to happen.
1. the Cause
Curse spirits appear because of leaked cursed energy, a concentration of negative human emotion escapes out of the population which then gathers to be strong enough to take form. Yuki explained this to Getou who was at the verge of spiraling down during the Hidden Inventory arc, and subsequently caused Getou to be “inspired”. 
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How this cursed energy gathers and takes form is still a mysterious matter, since apparently human can also become curse, like Sukuna. But the more interesting thing is this leak is specifically happens in non-sorcerer alone and sorcerer does not leak as much cursed energy as normal people, making normal people is to blame for the existence of curse spirits in general. 
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So fundamentally, how cursed energy flows within the body of sorcerer is genetically encoded, especially determined by how one’s brain is built. That’s why being a sorcerer is largely decided by bloodline, with exception of few people coming from non-sorcerer family - which can be chalked to something akin to genetic mutation. 
Further, it is explained that Tengen’s barrier is necessary for the purpose of concentrating cursed energy; another reason fundamentals for the making of both sorcerers and curse spirits alike. 
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And so, sorcerers are then tasked to protect the normal people, to exorcise curse in secrecy. Curses comes from human, curses exorcised by sorcerers, but as long as there’s normal people, curses will never cease to exist, making this an endless cycle of suffering for the sorcerer who has to exorcise them.   
2. the View
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Same with all other species, there’s force of nature that makes human evolve, even if it is not very prominent because of our ability to make our surrounding fits to our existence, and not the opposite like in other species. Some races have developed superior physical aspect in effort to adapt to their lifestyle; like a race who has custom to dive long in the water for food adapts by evolving higher lungs capacity. In jjk, this apparent in sorcerers; basically Tengen is a force of evolution that made sorcerers happens among human in Japan.
Both Yuki and the Brain’s interest lie in the connection of cursed energy to human, and in extension to curse spirit. Yuki wants to free them from the life of exorcising curse, so she’s looking into the root that cause curse spirits to appear.  
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“Causal therapy?” “It’s not hunting curse spirit. I want to make a world where curse spirit can’t be born.”
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Different from her, the Brain has more mysterious objective. On surface, it is similar to original Getou who wanted to realize a world where sorcerer have more power than being forced to exorcise curses in shadow; a world where sorcerers is superior to normal human.
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However, what The Brain does and says doesn’t really align with that objective. His interest lies deeper than simply makes a world where sorcerers reign, especially since he’s also disassociate himself from sorcerer society. In fact, the existence of Gojou who is hailed as the peak of sorcerers is a thorn at his side, so whatever it is that he planned can’t be done unless Gojou is gone. The most obvious answer is like what Yuki also said; the change of humanity as a whole. 
3. the Method
As with their different view, what they want and do are also different. Yuki who wants a society where there’s no more curse spirits suggest these two methods; 
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She took Touji as the example of the first method. 
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If every human have zero cursed energy, then there will be no energy leaked, so curse spirits won’t come to be. If people gets to Touji’s level, then any curses still linger can be exorcised without the appearance of new curse; which makes Touji a perfect model for her. The second one is obvious.  
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And after 11 years, she comes back to her original conclusion; human being should break away from cursed energy as a whole. But in the story, Yuki herself does not do as much to actively realize the objective she wants. She’s seems to be more heavy on exploring, observing, and analyzing, searching the perfect answer that will stumble to her - contrasting to the Brain who actively perform experiment to obtain the answer that he wants.
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In a thousand years of his life, what does he seek? What kind of deed he has done to achieve what he seek? The Kusouzu seems only one of his experiments to reach better understanding on the nature of curse energy connection to human being, for human to optimize cursed energy. And now he creates a situation where survival depends on the use of curse energy; essentially the only thing that guarantee their survival is to be a sorcerer. 
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What the Culling game is actually addresses before in Yuki and Getou’s discussion.
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Evolution in large is a chaotic event, where changes happens one after another to all species ever walked in the face of this earth. A lot of things can be driving force of evolution, but mainly it’s due to change of surroundings. Species who can adapt to things will survive, but for the ones who can’t, they’ll only be left as fossils. Same case as in the culling game; with a huge chaos like the Culling Game, human beings will be forced to adapt to use cursed energy -- essentially forced all human, at least in Japan, to evolve into sorcerers; human who has better grasp and connection to the cursed energy; which actually aligned to the second solution that Yuki offers, but in risk of making human the malicious one instead of curse spirits. 
4. the Confliction
The conflict of Yuki and the Brain is still subtle, as we’re still at the beginning of new arc. But I think there’s a reason why Gege brings Yuki and Yuuta at this point and makes them play more active role, now that Gojo is gone. We know what Yuuta is doing; to substitute Gojo in protecting the students, but Yuki’s role is still not explained clearly. The obvious thing is that she does not see eyes to eyes with the Brain, to the point of suggesting the students to get answer from Tengen himself. 
They want different things for human society; one wants for sorcerer to be non-sorcerer, while other wants non-sorcerer to be sorcerer. But what about human society? What does human society want?
All in all, if two special grades are fighting, literally or metaphorically, it will be like two elephants dancing. 
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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago
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There seems to be no middle ground with RWBY+, they trust you or they don’t. Some have no chance to “earn” it, but others don’t do anything to gain it. James should’ve earned it a hundred times over. He did so much but it wasn’t enough. What did Robyn do? She tried to attack Ruby and was only stopped by Penny. After that? Yang trusts the woman who almost hurt her sister over the man who gave her an arm, then blamed Ruby. Any wonder I hate these characters so much?
The frustrating thing is that I think I can see what RT was going for. Frustrating because it's the reading most of the fandom falls back on, despite the fact that the show... never actually wrote that story. In short, it's the belief that there's established good and bad in this world and we have a responsibility to uphold the former regardless of personal trust. So if a friend of mine is, say, being a racist asshole and a stranger is not, I have a moral responsibility to side with the stranger, despite the fact that I don't know them, technically can't trust them on other matters, and have little to no emotional investment in them as an individual. You need to take the side of what's right, no matter how hard that is. It's why we get so many heroes facing off against former friends and mentors. "You'd really betray me for them?" they say, pointing to the sidekick our hero only met at the start of the story, maybe a couple months ago in-world. "Yeah," they reply. "Because they're not trying to kill everyone." Basic humanity trumps long-term relationships.
That, as far as I can tell, seems to be the basic setup that RWBY was going for: Robyn may be a stranger, but she's the Good Person sticking up for Mantle, whereas Ironwood may be an ally and friend, but he's also the Bad Person hurting Mantle. Ergo, aligning with Robyn wins out, no matter that she's a stranger and Ironwood an ally. That's likewise why fans are so quick to dismiss evidence of Ironwood's good nature. Things like Yang's arm or the licenses aren't accepted as evidence for why the group should have started with more trust in him, they're reframed as excuses for why critics supposedly want to overlook his presumed, horrific nature — something that the story later made real with him shooting Oscar, killing the councilman, hacking Penny, and threatening to bomb Mantle. Viewing the good Ironwood did as some manipulative temptation the group was right to resist depends entirely on seeing Ironwood as the archetypal bad guy to Robyn's good guy.
However, this attempt failed spectacularly for numerous reasons already discussed over the past two years. Ironwood's actions were never revealed as manipulations. The group continued to work with him, thereby shouldering responsibility for his choices. Ruby actively pushed to complete Amity, despite the harm it was doing to Mantle. Robyn never did anything with the resources she stole, etc. This presumed line between Ironwood and Robyn simply doesn't exist in the text — or at least it's incredibly blurred — so when Yang and Blake run to share intel with her, it doesn't feel like the heroes turning away from the wrong path to back the real hero. We don't understand how resources to build a communications tower are hurting everyday peoples' lives. We don't understand why Weiss can't just go up and plug the hole with a bunch of ice. We don't understand why, if hurting Mantle is such an objectively awful thing, our hero Ruby keeps pushing to finish Amity anyway. We don't understand why there isn't at least an acknowledgement of good intentions here, considering that the tower is meant to save the world from Salem, helping Mantle in the long run. We don't understand why, if the group is so concerned with Ironwood's choices, they don't tell him the one piece of information that would get him to stop. And we don't understand Robyn.
Because here's the thing: it's badly written. The whole Amity debate straight through to the Fall of Atlas is a mess of ill thought out morals, shoddy worldbuilding, and outright contradictions. There's no salvaging that without rethinking Volumes 6-8, starting with the group's response to Ozpin. But all that aside, even if we kept things exactly as they are and bought into the assumption that Ironwood is as Bad and Robyn is as Good as the story wants us to believe... the group still should have at least hesitated to trust Robyn. More than a line or two of dialogue between Yang and Blake. I mean actual hesitation and a serious acknowledgement of the complications here. The concept of trust is now a focal point of RWBY and there's enough material across the entire series to make the Robyn situation way more complicated than just the group going, "We should side with her because she wants to do right by the people." Here I'm not talking about what we the audience know about RWBY's construction as a story, I mean what the characters have experienced on screen. It's a simple question at the core of the trust Robyn debate:
How do they know she's telling the truth?
Seriously, how do they know Robyn is who she says she is? That she doesn't have ulterior motives? That she's not outright lying to them and the rest of Atlas? Everything I've heard in defense of the group's fast-track trust falls short. "Well, she's presented as one of the good guys in Atlas, fighting for what's right." You mean like how Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury once posed as huntsmen and joined Ruby's school, supposedly fighting for what was right? "She's interested in politics. It's not like she's out there attacking them like Tyrian." You mean like how Salem infiltrated a kingdom via Lionheart, the White Fang has likewise tried to worm their way into positions of power, and Jacques is currently trying to steal an election? The bad guys don't limit themselves to just trying to murder people straight out. "But she stole resources back for the people!" And did... what with them? For all we actually know, she put those towards a different, nefarious plan. "But she's so passionate and she's sworn she wants to help." People lie! That was the whole thing with Ozpin! Ruby just lied at the start of the Volume. And, funnily enough, Robyn has the semblance that forces others to tell the truth, but no one can make Robyn do the same.
To be clear, I don't actually have a conspiracy theory that she's secretly a baddie. My only point is that fans were right to wonder if she was a White Fang or Salem agent and our group absolutely should have wondered the same. Take away all the personal reasons to trust Ironwood (defending Weiss, Yang's arm, friend of the inner circle, etc.) and we're still left with proof of his intentions in the form of things like Amity's plans and him continually giving the heroes more power, more resources, more connections, more ways to hurt him if they were to ever turn against him. In as much as you can prove anyone is trustworthy, Ironwood was there. But Robyn? Robyn had none of that work. More importantly, that lack interferes with our "She's doing the right thing, so we need to back her" reading. How did the group know she really wanted to do right by the people? And since that's always hard to prove, what did they do to at least attempt to reassure themselves? Absolutely nothing. Which is why the current writing makes them look stupid. They watched the bad guys infiltrate their school, organize the Fall of Beacon, stalk them, pose as allies, turn on them, lie to their faces, are telling lies themselves... and none of them came up when the question of trusting Robyn was put on the table. The idea of someone tricking them (again), or betraying them (again), or lying about Important Topics even though they're doing the same seems to have, somehow, escaped them.
It doesn't matter what Robyn's stance on Mantle is because the group never justified trusting her word and the story failed to show us (and them) that Robyn was doing good. Literally all she does pre-trust is stand for election and, again, we could say the same of Jacques. If the story wanted to make at least a miniscule improvement on this arc, we needed to see either a compelling reason to believe Robyn is all she presents herself as (for example, Penny could have known and vouched for her), or gotten an explanation for why they'd take an unjustified leap of faith when others haven't gotten one, people who have done much to earn that trust. It's a problem that grew exponentially once Oscar trusted Hazel and the group trusted Emerald, but it has existed since Ilia. As it stands, by this logic, Cinder should be able to walk up to the group and go, "I'm not bad anymore. I actually want to help now. No, I'm not lying :)" and that's that. That's what trust means to them. Taking people at their word ...unless you're a flawed ally who has made mistakes. Then trust takes months to rebuild, or is off the table completely.
Ozpin is not trustworthy. Ironwood is not trustworthy. Qrow saying "Hey" is not trustworthy. According to the fandom, Tai is not trustworthy.
Ilia is trustworthy. Robyn is trustworthy. Emerald is trustworthy. Hazel is trustworthy.
It's completely backwards and Robyn was a large part of that strange flip.
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yandere-daydreams · 4 years ago
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omg requests are open yay! can we get a yan!Bully todobaku that have known the reader since childhood and constantly torment her and at some point kidnap her? everyone just seems to not give two shits about the reader so that leads to them giving her the excuse of “no one else cares about you but us” thanks babe ❤️❤️
If by childhood, you mean the first-year of UA, you’re in luck. I’m nothing if not a lover of spoiled, rich brats turning into Yanderes who don’t understand why their Darlings don’t love them, and I can’t say these two don’t fit the role.
Title: Attention Deficit.
TW: Kidnapping, Mentions of Bullying, Mentions of Physical Abuse, and Slight Stockholm Syndrome. 
~
You’d never really liked thinking of Shoto as a bully.
With Katsuki, it made sense. He was hot-headed, volatile, aggressive, and you were an underclassman in the Support Class with a bad habit of hesitating before you spoke and too much going on to deal with two students with too much time on their hands. It aligned with his track-record, his disposition, but Shoto didn’t have the same tells. The first time you’d met him, he’d let you borrow a pencil and didn’t meet your eye when you thanked him. The second, he’d tripped you in the hall and called you a name you'd rather not repeat. It wasn’t a subtle change, it was barely even a change. One morning, he was sweet, and by the next, he wasn’t. There wasn’t a transition, there wasn’t development, he was just different. He was worse when he was around you, but that couldn’t be your fault. It just... it didn’t make sense.
You guessed that didn’t matter, though. Whatever his motivations were, he was still a bully. Both of them were.
Well, kidnappers might be a more appropriate term, now.
Katsuki’s grin was as mocking as he always was, wide and toothy and awful as he dragged you into his lap, his legs crossed underneath him as he made himself comfortable on the meager cot you called a bed. They’d explain that this - the bland, bleached thing that was your current bedroom - was a transitionary precaution, that eventually you’d settle down and be able to sleep with one of them, and they hadn’t taken it kindly when you told them you’d rather spend the rest of your life in a glorified prison cell. But, that’d been weeks ago, and Katsuki didn’t seem to have a problem with the way you glared as his arm looped around your waist, anymore, limiting your squirming while his free hand rose to pinch at your cheek, the gesture less playful and more threatening than it should’ve been. “The brat’s sulking, today,” He chuckled, choosing to ignore the way your nails dug into his forearm. “What happened while I was gone, Icy Hot?”
Shoto’s redeeming features were few and far between, something you’d learned the hard way during your captivity, but you were grateful for his stand-offishness, the way he always kept himself at arm’s length when Katsuki was around. Whereas Katsuki never hesitated to harass you in front of your friends, cornering you between classes and tormenting you in public, Shoto preferred his privacy, even if that meant dragging you into supply closets and following you on your walk home. There wasn’t any need for that here, in the seclusion of his own home, but he still seemed reluctant to act unless the two of you were alone. It might’ve been the only reason you tolerated Katsuki. His touch repulsed you and he was never gentle, but you savored every moment Shoto wasn’t draining the warmth from your body, wasn’t burning your skin just to see how much heat it took to leave a scar. At least his gaze was the only thing that could harm you, when he was so determined to stand-guard against your bedroom door.
“Everything was fine until you barged in,” Shoto countered, his voice as frozen as his demeanor. All crossed arms and stiff silence, lacking Katsuki’s bristling heat, but never managing to balance it out. “You should be more careful. (Y/n)’s still adjusting, you can’t expect them to improve if you’re not patient.”
It was a hypocritical sentiment, considering his patience often came to an end as soon as Katsuki wasn’t there to critique him, but Katsuki only huffed, letting out a low, lazy sigh as his grip around you tightened. You winced at the sudden pressure, attempting to push yourself away from his chest, but if Katsuki noticed your futile attempts to free yourself, he didn’t seem to care. “Angel, is that true? Do you think I’m not being patient enough?” He didn’t give you time to answer, not before his fingertips were digging into your jaw, forcing you to tilt your head back and meet his eyes as he spoke, even if his attention was still idly flitting between you and his stoic companion. “Patience is something they’re gonna have to earn, if they want it. Teaching them a lesson now will be easier than lettin’ them think they can get away with anything they want. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t spend three years putting this off just to spend another day holding myself back.”
Shoto opened his mouth, but you were talking before you could hold yourself back, if only to remind your captors that you still had a voice. They tended to forget, when you went quiet for too long. “I don’t have to earn anything. If you two think I want any of this, you’re both insane.” You paused, forcing yourself to take a breath. To calm down before you told them something they really didn’t want to hear. “Someone’s going to come for me, and they will get me out of here. I’m not staying a second longer than I have to.”
Shoto and Katsuki exchanged a glance, quick and fleeting, but a glance all the same. There was a moment of silence, of tense, thick silence, and then, Shoto’s neutral expression broke into a smile and Katsuki laughed.
You’d always hated it when he laughed.
“Isn’t that so cute,” He cooed, pulling you closer. This time, Shoto took a step forward, then another, perching himself delicately on the edge of your bed, his lips just barely tilted upward at the corners. He extended a hand, cupping your chin as his thumb traced over your cheek, and you didn’t try to hide the way you shuddered. Judging by the sparks of amused flickering in his eyes, he didn’t seem to care. “You think all your little friends are still out there lookin’ for you.”
You stiffed, squaring your shoulders defensively. “They are.”
“They’re not.” Shoto’s declaration was crueler than Katsuki’s, if only because of how casually he said it, how little it seemed to affect him. As if it was just another fact you hadn’t known. As if he wasn’t saying it to hurt you. “I mean, think about it. You weren’t going to be a Hero, just a sidekick, and you weren’t even that, yet. It’s not like anyone’s going to notice you’re gone.”
“And if anyone does, I doubt they’re gonna drop everything to come to your rescue.” You had to grit your teeth to keep quiet, not to scream for him to stop. You knew what he was going to say, you knew you wouldn’t like it, but Katsuki didn’t seem to care about that. He’d never cared before, and you weren’t sure why he’d start making an effort now. “Remember how long it took for someone to report us? We got away with our bullshit for months, and even then, it’s not like we got in trouble. The big guy’s daddy could get him out of murder, if he wanted to.” Shoto narrowed his eyes, but Katsuki’s brushed him off, continuing as he pushed a slow, lingering kiss into your hair. “Everyone who cares about you is already here. There’s no point in leaving, not when we���re the best you’re gonna get.”
“That’s too harsh,” Shoto protested, but he didn’t move to comfort you, didn’t try to deny it, didn’t even stop touching you like he had any right to your affection. Katsuki only laughed as he went on, running a hand through your hair, his hold on you loosening absent-mindedly. Recklessly. Carelessly. He was talking, but you’d stopped listening. You didn’t want to listen. You didn’t want him get to you, and you didn’t this.
And yet, you didn’t try to get away. Not as Katsuki sneered, and not as Shoto grew more brazen, his hand dipping from your face to your shoulder, eventually falling to your collarbone to fiddle with the collar of your shirt. You didn’t like it, but... they were right, in a way.
You didn’t know if anyone else would care enough to make you this miserable. 
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moreidsdaughter · 4 years ago
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spencer reid fluff alphabet
summary: a fluff alphabet that took way to long....
genre: fluff
warnings: none
word count: 1637
a/n: wowowowow i'm not dropping something out of nowhere...
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A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)
spencer loves the way you put dedication into the things you do, whether it’s writing, reading, your job, staring at the television, watching your favorite show while being curled up on the couch or taking care of things around the house.
what do you find attractive about spencer? many things obviously, but his mind definitely is at the top of the list. You adore his mind, you adore the way he can ramble for days at a time. if you need him to be quiet, you hug him or plant a soft kiss on his lips.
B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)
yes, for sure. you know that spencer would be a great dad, especially because of the way he is with kids. however, he wants to have one when he feels it’s safe. safe meaning not working at the bau. at the same time, he knows that he can’t protect his child from the world, so what’s stopping him?
C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)
spencer loves cuddling facing you with one of his arms securely wrapped around your waist. He pulls you as close to him as possible and lays your head on his shoulder. He nuzzles his head into your head and takes in the smell of your shampoo. then he places a light kiss on your head
D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)
spencer prefers to stay in and order takeout and watch movies, or read to you on the balcony. he tries to do these things with you once a week, but his job can get in the way. in spencers’ mind, as long as you’re doing something together, he’s happy.
when you and spencer do get out, you like to go on coffee dates or picnics. You two normally choose food and drinks. then you lay it all out on a blanket in a park. On coffee dates, you and spencer share your thoughts on different topics. spencer normally brings up books and you normally bring up current events and pop culture.
E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))
“you’re my home.” spencer whispered, his hands grabbing yours. you took a second to process his words. “you are the reason i keep going. you're the only person i feel truly comfortable around without any judgment. when i’m with you, i’m at peace with myself and i’ve never felt that way in my life.” he took a gentle breath. “when i’m with you i feel at home and even though it doesn’t make sense, you've told me that it doesn’t have to. none of this has to make sense because i’m in love”
F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)
spencer knew that he was in love when you started repeating facts that he said to your friends. one time you had been at a birthday party and you said  “more people celebrate their birthdays in august than in any other month. about nine percent of all the people on earth have august birthdays.” you giggles after rambling. spencer looked at you with a smile, he couldn’t wait to hug you.
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)
spencer is the most gentle human being on the planet. he’s always patient and careful with you, he has one of the softest souls you’ve ever come across. he loves being gentle with you. he watches you when you’re sick, even though he despises germs. he loves to leave soft kisses all over you and he loves hugging you. your pet names for him match his actions towards you. you call him: bubba, sweet boy, my love, baby. he’s always looking out for you and he puts you first even though you tell him not to.
H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)
spencer isn’t the biggest fan of public affection, but he loves to hold your hand in private. When you and spence are alone, likes to do one of these two things, interlocking your fingers or he holds your hand and rubs circles into your palm.
I = Impression (What was their first impression?)
spencer met you in a coffee shop and you were reading one of his favorite books. he sat down at your table and asked you about your thoughts on the book. even though you weren’t done yet, he could tell that your thought process is similar to his. when he found out that your thoughts aligned and how the way that you process is similar to his, he knew that you were someone worth getting close to.
J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)
sometimes, it’s never because of you, but his own insecurities. spencer trusts you a lot and he knows that you'll never hurt him, but it doesn’t stop his mind from wandering. when people are affectionate with you in public it makes him jealous. he furrows his brows and his hands clench because his mind is thinking would she like me better if i was more affectionate in front of other people?
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)
spencer’s kisses are soft and affectionate, which makes him a good kisser in your eyes. he never rushes and he’s always gentle. it doesn’t matter if it’s a peck or a makeout session, most of the time he will take it slow.
you initiated the first kiss technically. you asked “can i kiss you?” and he responded with “yes.” you brought a hand to his cheek and slowly moved your lips in closer. when your lips connected it was magical, you smiled into the kiss and he did as well. then you giggled and pulled your lips from his.
L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)
spencer. you’re walking into your apartment with him after a date at a museum and you place your bag and coat down. spencer does the same and sits himself down on the couch. once you sit down, you turn on the television and spencer wraps his arm around your shoulder. you're slowly drifting to sleep and your head is falling onto spencer’s shoulder. when spencer thinks you're asleep he whispers “i love you so much, you’re my home and you make me feel safe in a corrupt world of madness.” what he didn’t know was that you were still awake, so you returned his words “i love you too bubba.”
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)
it was your first christmas together as a couple and you wanted to decorate a tree together. You dragged him to buy christmas decorations and a tree. the tree wasn’t big, but it was your tree. you guys decorated the tree with different color bulbs and other cool decorations. spencer was begging to put the star on top of the tree, so you let him. you baked cookies and made hot chocolate. Then you guys sat on the couch watching christmas movies and you fell asleep on each other.
N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)
spencer isn’t a very materialistic guy, he prefers intimate moments over items. however, when he does get you a gift he makes sure that it’s something meaningful.
O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)
soft colors, like pale yellows and neutrals. these colors are what make spencer feel at home and he sees you as his home. one of yellow’s meanings is clarity, that’s how spencer sees you, you help him see things.
P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)
spencer doesn’t have a lot of pet names for you, but the ones he has are special to him. Spencer likes the classic pet names; sweetheart, honey and baby. occasionally he’ll swap those out for your nickname.
Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)
spencer isn’t quite up to date with technology, so he likes almost everything that’s older. specifically he likes reading books and writing things in typewriters or by hand. he just thinks that there's something about it that makes him feel warm on the inside.
R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)
spencer loves curling up to you on the couch and reading to you on rainy days. he likes drinking a warm beverage like tea or hot chocolate. eventually, you’ll try to convince him to watch a show and then you guys fall asleep.
S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)
spencer is pretty good at cheering you up, he always tries to make funny jokes or watch a funny movie with you. if he can’t make you feel better, he’ll just be there. he’ll ask you questions about why you're upset and try to find the root of the problem. however, he will never be pushy about these things, he just wants to be there and make you comfortable.
making spencer feel better is a hard task. normally he just shuts down when he gets like this, he’ll mope around the house and stay quiet. he thinks that he can get over the issue himself, but he can’t. It takes awhile for him to open up, but once he does, it never stops. at the end of the day, he just wants a hug and some cuddles.
T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)
spencer loves to talk about literature and facts. he never has nothing to talk about because he can go on and on for days about anything, but literature is definitely his favorite.
U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)
you. you help spencer relax. whenever he’s in a room with you, his bundle of nerves just melt away.
V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)
his knowledge. he’s not afraid to dish out facts around others, unless he’s told to stop. sometimes he can’t help it, but he’s still so proud of his mind.
being with spencer is great, but it’s easy to feel small compared to him. Spencer tries to make sure that never happens, he’s your hype man. he hypes you up for anything like fixing something or decorating a room.
W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)
it was at a team dinner. it wasn’t in front of the team though, he pulled you out to rossi’s backyard and got down on one knee. when you went back inside, you didn’t say anything because you wanted to see how long it would take the team to notice. let's just say, the team found out within minutes because spencer couldn’t keep a smile off of his face.
X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)
spencer doesn’t really listen to modern music, he listens to mostly classical music. however one time, he’s listening to music with the team and garcia puts one fool for you by zayn malik. it makes him think of you almost instantly. the ballad with hints of piano making him think of your softness and his love for you.
Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)
yes.  all the time after a year of dating, but very early on he had a small sense that you were going to marry him. it didn’t become real until you met his mom, diana reid loved you from the moment she laid eyes on you.
Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)
A cat. it’s low maintenance with your work schedules and it can roam around on its own.
taglist (send an ask if you would like to be added):
@ssaemxlyprentxss@itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @pinkdiamond1016
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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago
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You need to back up your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague statements about 'claiming behavior'.
During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled Jungkook in a hug on run behind, Jungkook called Jimin sexy at a press conference, Jimin and jungkook did that whole 'how does it feel to be in the same unit'/'time to change' flirty thing, Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the lapels... and more. Begging pardon but if they were grieving the loss of their romantic relationship while trying to be professional colleagues and pals.... isnt that sort of insensitive? Like I know you admitting you might have read it wrong and have changed your view in light of new footage might be a blow to your ego, but I don't think you are thinking rationally when you insist on this break up theory. It's sad because I found so much meaning and connection in some of the stuff you have written, particularly pertaining to internalized homophobia, racism, mysogynoir and bts changing over time to become more enlightened, but your devotion to this ONE theory, and defensiveness whenever it is (rightly imo) challenged makes me wary of your theories in general, which might be extremely unfair to you, as a thinker. Your log is really funny and great in a lot of ways so i cant really quit you.
Ahhhh it's been a while I got one of these...
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Hello, how you doing! Lol. Silver is that you?
Chilee, it's the name calling for me.
Ego, irrational, charlatan, Tuktukker- I'm desensitized to such ad hominems at this point. You don't throw words like these around and expect me to sit at the table and talk. Imma yeet myself out real fast. Lol.
There's just something different, wholesome almost, about this post though. Sounds constructive I think. Or maybe it's because I just woke. Chilee. Lol.
It doesn't feel at all like you are attacking me. It's strange...
You're gaslighting though but it's fine. I've built a resistance to that from years and years of dealing with my abductors or family. Potato potahto.
I often put my sanity before other's insanity which is why I don't indulge posts such as these and I'm not sorry about that. I mean is this an Ask or Submission? I don't- what am I supposed to say? What is the call to action?
Sigh.
If I come across as defensive sometimes, 10 out of 10, it's probably because the person on the other end is being offensive. Straight up. Cause and effect, the science don't lie.
You don't expect me to not defend when I'm being attacked. That's just tacky.
I don't think there's anything wrong with challenging views and notions because at the very least, that's about the exchange of ideas and I welcome it.
I set the limits at the racial slurs, the mocking tones, the emotionally charged rants meant to disparage me and my entire ancestry rather than argue a point, the interference with my personal life and business all because I hold a different view on a topic, the doxing, gaslighting, the bad mouthing, spreading lies about me, turning my friends against me, stripping away my rights and copyrights, harassing people who enjoy my work among- other things.
I usually exercise my right to self preservation in these instances- imma block, delete, ignore, forward or clap back. Word. Lol.
I'm sorry, but if you have to attack the individuality of a person to argue your point, you've lost the argument and you never had one to begin with.
Take for instance, the bit you wrote about me taking a blow to 'my ego' - do you see the problem with that?
What has holding a view different from yours on a particular subject got to do with the ego?
Do you mean to say the only way I can hold an opinion different from yours on a matter is if I were hubristic?
Are you projecting? What's happening? Lol
And if I call you out for this, I'm defensive? Way to add gaslighting to your bigotry and intolerance of opinions that don't align with yours. No offense.
I give myself permission to hold unpopular views. I give myself permission to think differently from others. I give myself permission to see what I see and believe what I believe and form an opinion on what I see and believe divorced from others' views and based on my own understanding of the workings of this world or in this case Jikook.
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No amount of name calling will change this fact. We see things from different perspectives after all.
You need to back your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague claims about claiming behavior.
Lol. Fake subs? You mean the Hajima bit from the On comeback special I put in my video? Interesting.
I think I see what you mean about my break up theory and I agree to some extent. Like, come up here with charts and paragraphs and excel spreadsheets on why I think Jikook were broken up?
I would be happy to do that kind of analysis.
I think the problem for me here is, I feel tasked to convince rather than to share my opinion on the matter or even expand on my theories for discourse sakes and that makes me really uncomfortable.
Not to psychoanalyze you, but I feel when you ask this of me you are not just asking me to divulge my thoughts on a topic but to disabuse you of your own biases surrounding the topic.
I don't think this is about my opinion at all. I think it's about your own beliefs about Jikook. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you believe in something you need to stand for it. Just don't mind if others do same and don't call them names for doing so. Because if you do mind, then that's bigotry.
The fact is my opinion contradicts your beliefs about Jikook and you either want to punish me for it hence the slurs, are in denial, or you want to believe my point of view- can't really tell.
I think there is a limit in general to how far I can prove Jikook in anyway and that has nothing to do with lack of evidence, my ego or my rationality. And yes, I often shroud my beliefs in vague expressions because I don't want to set myself up or open myself up to legal suits. I can only prove Jikook to a point and nothing beyond my belief. Beyond that, I would be skating on thin ice and making bighit a tad richer.
During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled JK in a hug, grabbed Jungkook by his lapel, JK called Jimin sexy, they did the flirty challenge...
So if I understand you correctly, all these is what makes Jikook a couple to you and indicate they are dating?
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Alright then.
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Hobi calls Jimin sexy all the time. BTS calls eachother sexy all the time. I don't think that's a sign they are in a polyamory.
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Jungkook plays with his hyungs' dick and ass and talks about falling for them most times. I don't think that makes him gay or in a relationship with any of them.
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Lemme just cut to the chase. I've reached my photo limits. I have said a countless times now, that I don't view skinship and all these interactions you've pointed out as indication two people are dating- especially not two Koreans working within the homoerotically charged space of Kpop.
And I have given out a few of the metrics I use in considering whether any ship in BTS is real over the course of my blogs- intimacy, exclusive behaviors such as and not limited to claiming eachother and exercising certain rights and authorities over eachother and against the group, stress trails as a result of keeping their relationship a secret, the microaggressions, breaching the fourth wall and others.
I think what this comes down to is differences in perspectives on a fundamental level. Not egos.
I don't see the things you see as the signs Jikook are real and dating, as signs Jikook are real and dating. If I did, I would be seeing every ship in BTS as real but I don't.
And you consider the metrics I use in ascertaining Jikook as vague something something. I think we are at an impasse.
But explain the bit about 'insensitive' to me please. I would love to engage in that discourse. Why would it be insensitive for two exes to act cordially with eachother within a workplace in the aftermath of a breakup?
Then the bit about grieving...
So grieving is one of your metrics for accessing whether or not two people are broken up?
That's interesting. I mean I don't disagree but I also don't think Jikook are gonna come to work with oversized pajamas, dark shades, boxes of tissues and a blanket slung over their shoulders because of a broken heart... it's 2020 not Manila. They've grown, are learning and getting better at dealing with their emotions on camera because, as Suga pointed out, they are aware the least bit of tension translates to the screens.
I mean Jimin said it himself in his 2020 interview, he's learned to react less intensely to certain things. And sometimes, he tries to downplay certain things. He tries to perform Jikook when Jikook are not in a great place. It's only in recent times, On era, where JK has opted out and not gone along with it.
I think he does that and uses their shared 'Jikook agenda' and performances of Jikook as a means to fix things or break the ice between them at least.
But clearly Jk wasn't having it that day as he kept putting up boundaries with Jimin throughout that Run episode- unless of course you are disputing this as well on the grounds Jimin dragged his ass into a hug. Chilee.
I think most people wouldn't have felt there was something off with Jikook in that On period at all had it not been for Run 116. It's similar to how, had it not been for Jimin's birthday saga, the Esquire shoot behind scenes and Grammy reaction video, no one would have felt there was something going on between Jikook in the October timeline.
I think we would have seen and felt the less interactions and professionalism between them in the aftermath of it but for the most parts, moments like the couch scene in the Grammy reaction video wouldn't have made sense to any of us especially as we had just witnessed JK in the ON:E concert rushing to comfort and console JM when he was tearing up at the end of the concert.
At least when he pushed JM into a ditch somewhere in the dark in Soop we know he had been drinking and they were playing competitive sports. Even with that he still showed some concern when Jimin fell and injured himself afterwards.
I think we would all be wondering if Jikook were fanservice at that point, a fanservice relationship where JK only consoled Jimin when he cried infront of thousands of people at concerts and nibbled his ear while he was at it.
And I think we would be on opposite sides of the argument: me, arguing Jikook were experiencing a hiccup in their relationship and you, rationalizing that moment with anything from 'JK don't have to be at JM's beck and call' 'he is an introvert who is shy to show affections publicly' to even something about the weather.
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But I would have looked at this moment from the October pop up video behind scenes and assumed JK was mad at Jimin for something JM had done and had done something in retaliation and was now feeling sorry he did.
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And I would have based it off of this moment, or a countless similar ones from around On era or the previous eras where JK had done this exact same thing- frozen in place and staring at Jimin in the middle of a shoot or interview after sliding his hands down Tae's chest, clung on to the others unnecessarily to get a reaction out of JM.
Would I have been right? It really doesn't matter to me as long as it makes sense to me. I ship Jikook in a way that makes sense to me. Jikook are gay, in a gay relationship with each other and are human like anyone of us- that makes sense to me. Whether I am right or wrong.... who cares and why does it matter?
Personally, I think the only person grieving in that period was JK not JM and I don't think he grieved for long before he switched off his humanity and went stone cold tit for tat terminator on JM and BTS's ass. Lol. He had JM looking all kinds of subdued in that era. Lmho.
People grieve in various ways. In my opinion. For Jimin, I feel he puts on a strong facade most times when he has to film during such times and lately I feel he masks his emotions with anger.
Jk masks his pain with anger too sometimes but I feel in recent times, he is leaning more towards indifference. I think he tries not to be as affected by certain things as compared to the early half of 2020...
But I understand what you mean when you talk about grieve. I think for me rather than look for physical evidence of grief like a sad face, a tear drop dripping down a face, I love for vulnerability in them.
JK's is easy to tell because he tends to open himself up to others such as Tae or Jin or Hobi- and I don't mean like his interactions with them. I mean he leans on them for moral or emotional support.
In the Holiday remix video where he was hiding behind Jin, I felt he was feeling very vulnerable and exposed after that intense moment with Jimin.
It's what he does when he is feeling vulnerable. He turns to others especially Jimin and if Jimin is the cause of his vulnerability he turns away from him like he did within On era or even in Run 116.
When he is in a good place with Jimin, often he is closed off to the others. Jimin does the opposite. He shuts himself up entirely from the group. I don't think he likes to go through his pain by himself.
I've always found that bit fascinating about them. Jk opens himself to people when he is at his lowest while JM closes himself off when he is at his worst.
It played out in their rainy day fight as well. In JK's vulnerability, that's when he let Jimin in, lowering his walls while JM on the other hand closed himself off to him.
Can you give me more than they were together in that period because they played with eachother's lapels?
You don't think I'm thinking rationally when I insist on my theory? Uhmmm... okay? What is rational in this case?
Listen, I recieve a lot of hate for my 'irrational thoughts and opinions' out in these streets. I've lost potentially great friendship on this platform because of it. As I type this, there is someone in someone else's DMs persuading them not to read and engage with my posts because I'm extremely evil I think Jikook break up from time to time in their relationship.
If I genuinely believed in the slightest least or had the least doubt that Jikook were together in that period I would change my mind on the topic- damn my pride and ego. It simply isn't worth the hustle.
If it helps your sanity, please stop reading my blogs. My blogs are not for everyone. It makes some people happy, it makes some people mad and some people experience both.
My gratification is in sharing my thoughts and chronicling Jikook's journey for my own appeasement and support of Jikook. I owe it to them as a believer and a supporter to humanize them as much as possible.
I do not seek to convert others, change minds, or convince anyone of my opinions or to disabuse anyone of theirs.
Let's just agree to disagree on the matter please. Or if you can drop the ad hominems, I would be more than happy to go back and forth with you on this very topic. It's actually shaping out to be one of my favorite Jikook eras. I love me some terminator JK. Lol.
Signed,
GOLDY
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hanbintms · 3 years ago
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            it  is  eye  ,  kofi  ,  back  on  your  dash  with  my  newest  child  !  as  a  reminder  :  i’m  twenty4  ,  prefer  she / her  or  they / them  pronouns  ,  and  i  reside  in  the  est  timezone  !  the  muse  that  i  have  flowing  for  hanbin  is  truly  unmatched  even  though  i  literally  came  up  with  him  within  like  . . .  three  hours  ,  no  kidding  .  that  being  said  ,  he’s  a  brand  new  muse  and  i  can’t  wait  to  plot  with  everyone  once  again  (  or  for  the  first  time  !  )  i  won’t  talk  your  ears  off  as  i  know  this  intro  might  get  a  little  long  ,  but  aside  from  that  ,  can’t  wait  to  write  hanbin  with  ya’ll  !
            (  SONG  KANG , THIRTY , CIS  MAN , HE / HIM  )  *  hey  ,  i’m  looking  for  the  office  of  HANBIN  KOO  .  they’re  the  EMPLOYEE  /  IN - HOUSE  CHEF  who’s  known  around  the  office  as  THE  EPICURE  ,  if  that  helps  ?  not  to  be  a  gossip  ,  but  i’ve  heard  that  they’re  AFFABLE  but  UNCOUTH  ,  is  that  true  ?  i  also  heard  that  they’re  the  one  who  THREW  ICED  TEA  AT  HIS  EX  IN  THE  LOBBY  .  anyways  ,  here’s  the  coffee  they  ordered  .
statistics.
            name  :  koo  hanbin  .  nicknames  :  han  ,  hannie  ,  hanbinie  ,  +  binnie  .  age  +  date  of  birth  :  thirty  +  january  9th,  1991  .  zodiac  :  capricorn  .  moral  alignment  :  true  neutral  .  gender  +  pronouns  :  cis  man  +  he / him / his .  place  of  birth  :  busan  ,  south  korea  .  place  of  residence  :  west  village  ,  new  york  city  ,  new  york  .  orientation  :  bisexual  biromantic  .  occupation  :  in  house  chef  and  internet  personality  .  nationality  :  korean  (  holds  american  citizenship  )  .  ethnicity  :  korean  .  language(s)  spoken  :  korean  ,  english  ,  conversational  italian  ,  and  conversational  japanese  .
background.
            koo  hanbin’s  life  was  relatively  normal  when  he  was  born  .  his  mom  ,  koo  seonghwa  ,  worked  as  a  nurse  in  the  pediatric  department  of  a  local  hospital  in  busan  while  his  father  ,  koo  kyuchul  ,  was  an  office  worker  .  they  weren’t  the  richest  family  ,  nowhere  near  it  ,  but  the  koo  family  made  it  work  .  hanbin  has  more  memories  of  being  with  his  grandparents  more  often  than  his  parents  simply  because  of  their  demanding  careers ,  but  that’s  not  to  say  that  they  weren’t  loving  and  attentive  parents  when  they  had  time  to  be  with  their  only  son  .  
             however  ,  life  began  to  change  for  him  when  was  six  years  old  .  suddenly  ,  the  money  began  to  dwindle  as  quickly  as  it  was  brought  in  .  the  refrigerator  wasn’t  full  unless  seonghwa’s  mother  would  make  some  things  for  them  ,  and  kyuchul  was  coming  home  later  and  later  .  seonghwa  began  to  work  harder  in  an  attempt  to  break  even  ,  but  she  never  seemed  to  get  her  head  above  water  .  she’d  confront  her  husband  about  the  large  sums  of  money  that  would  disappear  from  their  account  ,  but  he  always  blamed  it  on  higher  bills  ,  raised  rent  ,  or  sudden  payments  that  he  had  to  make  .  it  never  made  any  sense  ,  but  seonghwa  started  a  separate  account  to  ensure  their  son  could  at  least  have  food  on  the  table  and  clothes  for  school  .
            the  next  couple  of  years  go  by  and  the  money  situation  worsens  ,  with  seonghwa  getting  to  her  wits  end  .  she  spends  more  time  with  hanbin  at  her  parents’  place  ,  sleeping  with  her  son  in  her  old  bedroom  and  hoping  he  doesn’t  hear  her  cry  at  night  .  she  struggles  to  understand  why  her  husband  is  keeping  secrets  from  her  ,  especially  as  they’ve  been  married  happily  for  the  last  eleven  years  ,  but  it  takes  some  tough  love  from  her  mother  to  get  seonghwa  to  pick  herself  up  .  so  ,  she  decides  to  confront  her  husband  one  night  when  she  finds  out  his  location  from  one  of  his  co - workers  ,  and  she’s  devastated  .  seonghwa  finds  kyuchul  with  a  younger  woman  ,  gambling  away  her  hard  earned  money  .  like  a  scene  out  of  a  drama  ,  seonghwa  kicks  her  husband  where  the  sun  doesn’t  shine  and  promptly  dragged  the  other  woman  outside  to  wack  her  upside  the  head  with  her  purse  .  seonghwa  was  hurt  ,  but  she  had  finally  gotten  answers  ,  and  she  wasn’t  going  to  be  embarrassed  like  this  ever  again  .
            so  ,  seonghwa  and  hanbin  permanently  move  in  with  her  parents  ,  and  it  takes  some  time  for  seonghwa  to  get  over  kyuchul  .  she  focuses  on  her  child  and  her  job  .  from  the  age  of  ten  ,  hanbin  began  spending  more  time  with  his  grandparents  in  their  small  ,  but  popular  barbecue  meat  restaurant  .  when  he  finishes  his  homework  ,  he  helps  his  grandparents  take  orders  ,  and  he  slowly  begins  to  work  the  kitchen  as  he  gets  older  .  his  grandparents  soon  leave  the  kitchen  work  to  him  as  they  get  up  in  age  ,  and  hanbin  runs  the  kitchen  as  if  he’d  been  doing  it  for  over  twenty  years  .  however  ,  when  he  graduates  from  high  school  ,  hanbin  decides  to  spread  his  wings  .  over  the  last  twelve  years  or  so  ,  hanbin  honed  his  cooking  skills  from  his  grandfather  and  spent  most  of  his  childhood  in  the  kitchen  ,  so  his  grandparents  passed  their  restaurant  down  to  seonghwa’s  brother  ,  and  hanbin  left  for  new  york  .
            eighteen  years  old  and  with  only  enough  money  to  get  a  small  sublet  ,  he  knew  he  needed  to  find  a  job  pronto  .  without  formal  kitchen  training  ,  hanbin  would  often  get  turned  away  from  jobs  (  because  he  was  better  than  a  busboy  !  )  and  eventually  ,  the  fates  was  on  his  side  .  he  forced  his  way  into  the  kitchen  of  a  popular  italian  restaurant  ,  immediately  snagging  the  title  of  junior  chef  .  hanbin  ,  a  fast  learner  with  even  faster  knife  skills  ,  easily  works  his  way  up  the  ranks  within  the  restaurant  .  within  six  years  ,  hanbin  becomes  head  chef  and  is  a  force  to  be  reckoned  with  in  the  kitchen  .  although  his  income  changes  significantly  ,  hanbin  starts  a  youtube  channel  in  hopes  of  sharing  his  love  for  food  and  cooking  .  within  a  year  ,  his  following  grows  substantially  ,  and  he’s  approached  to  broaden  his  efforts  by  working  at  masters  international  .
at masters.
hanbin  has  been  at  masters  for  five  years  .  he  started  working  here  after  his  youtube  channel  expanded  ,  and  he  was  approached  to  create  his  own  cooking  content  for  masters’  youtube  channel  .  
basically  ,  he  has  his  own  version  of  test  kitchen  ,  but  it’s  not  really  the  same  thing  .  he  makes  recipes  for  holidays  ,  celebrations  ,  and  is  constantly  showing  how  to  make  traditional  korean  dishes  (  would  not  be  surprised  if  he  has  a  ‘  cooking  with  my  mom  !  ’  type  series  )  .
gives  food  tips  too  like  which  wines  pair  best  with  certain  foods  or  how  to  make  the  most  out  of  your  first  hosting  gig  .  probably  has  a  video  where  he  shares  his  cooking  playlist  because  he  wants  you  to  get  in  the  mood  😌  .
probably  came  up  with  the  special  lunch  for  Daddy  Masters™  but  gets  ticked  when  he’s  asked  to  cook  it  because  does  that  man  know  a  schedule  ?  probably  not  .  [  ‘  we  were  on  a  break  !  ’  specifically  ,  hanbin2   was  on  his  lunch  break  .  ] 
is  it  true  that  he  threw  an  iced  tea  in  his  ex’s  face  ?  absolutely  ,  and  he  has  no  problem  admitting  it  lmao  .  who  was  said  ex  ?  i  guess  we’ll  never  know  [  this  a  number  one  champion  sound  ]  .
probably  well  received  around  the  office  but  i  wouldn’t  be  surprised  if  people  disliked  him  .  it  could  be  his  off  putting  persona  or  honestly  the  simple  fact  that  he’s  got  a  lot  of  sass  and  no  ass  .
headcanons.
you  can  read  a  full  list  of  headcanons  HERE  ;  below  is  an  abridged  version  .
has  a  gyeongsang  dialect  from  living  in  busan  ,  and  honestly  . . .  that’s  hot  .  so  ,  when  he  speaks  in  korean  it’s  rather  strong  and  aggressive  /  pitch  is  vastly  different  from  other  parts  of  korea  .  
i  literally  have  no  idea  how  to  explain  his  personality  other  than  by  using  his  moral  alignment  :  true  neutral  .  he’s  kinda  that  guy  who  knows  everything  but  won’t  tell  you  that  he  does  ?  did  he  eavesdrop  ?  maybe  ,  but  he  won’t  tell  you  that  .  he’s  largely  indifferent  to  a  lot  of  what  happens  around  masters  and  maybe  it’s  because  he’s  been  here  for  half  a  decade  ;  he’ll  just  make  sure  you  drink  water  if  you’re  drunk  and  crying  .
a  Dog  Father™  to  a  little  re:  big  goldendoodle  named  duri  .  he  is  most  definitely  judging  you  and  can  often  be  found  sunbathing  in  that  solarium  .  
a  very  simple  man  when  it  comes  to  his  coffee  :  caffè  americano  or  an  espresso  macchiato  please  .  and  don’t  forget  the  butter  croissant  !
mostly  expressionless  . . .  like  i  really  have  no  idea  how  to  explain  how  he  looks  at  people  because  i  feel  that  stoic  is  too  harsh  of  a  word  .  if  you  wanna  know  how  he  feels  though  ,  he  has  extremely  expressive  eyes  .
he  won’t  admit  it  but  he  loves  hosting  .  office  potluck  ?  he’s  your  guy  .  having  a  conference  ?  he’ll  make  your  snacks  .  if  you’re  coming  over  he’ll  make  a  charcuterie  board  and  will  lie  saying  he  made  it  with  some  stuff  he  had  on  hand  (  but  that’s  a  lie  ,  he  went  to  the  grocery  store  and  obsessed  over  it  for  a  solid  three  hours  )  .
finds  joy  in  the  mundane  .  some  people  might  think  he’s  weird  because  he  loves  grocery  shopping  ,  and  heavily  judges  people’s  carts  because  processed  food  ?  yuck  !  he  won’t  say  that  to  your  face  though  he’ll  just  be  like  ‘  are  you  sure  you  wanna  buy  that  ?  ’  and  will  sneakily  replace  your  frozen  pizza  with  pizza  ingredients  hehe  .
that  being  said  don’t  take  him  grocery  shopping  with  you  NFUDNSFDS  .  he  gets  ticked  about  food  waste  ,  and  those  who  don’t  use  reusable  bags  .   probably  has  a  lil  garden  at  his  place  and  composts  !  is  angry  about  people  calling  a  chunk  of  cauliflower  a  steak  (  in  other  words  ,  don’t  to  it  )  !
wanted connections.
DISCLAIMER  :  i  will  not  be  plotting  anything  romantic  with  characters  under  the  age  of  twenty - five  due  to  his  age  !
ONE  TRUE  LOVE  :  this  is  open  to  literally  anyone  ,  preferably  like  ,  28  to  30  but  we  can  talk  details  .  truly  ,  they’re  his  one  true  love  as  the  title  states  ,  and  i  like  to  believe  that  they  were  a  really  happy  couple  who  had  a  meet - cute  .  they  moved  in  together  and  things  were  great  ,  but  they  broke  up  when  they  felt  a  mutual  dissolve  in  their  relationship  .  that  being  said  ,  they’re  good  friends  now  !
BEST  FRIEND  :  who  wouldn’t  love  a  best  friend  .  basically  ,  they  get  along  well  ,  and  they  are  used  to  sung’s  non - verbal  communication  NVJCNXJV  .  it’d  be  really  fun  if  they  had  totally  different  personalities  but  somehow  they  managed  to  click  .  TAKEN  BY  GRIFFIN  OLSON  .
TASTE  TESTER  :  someone  who  he  calls  on  to  often  try  his  food  at  the  office  .  they  possibly  will  appear  in  his  videos  on  masters’  youtube  channel  ,  so  i  think  a  relationship  based  around  food  would  be  really  fun  !  TAKEN  BY  KENNEDY  CRAWFORD  /  SORAYA  HATHAWAY  .
HORN  DOGS  (  DEROGATORY  )  :  i  have  no  other  name  for  this  plot  but  i’m  thinking  two  people  who  cannot  keep  their  hands  off  of  one  another  .  i’m  talking  sneaky  touches  in  the  elevator  ,  secret  hook  ups  in  the  seventh  floor  bathroom  ,  quick  makeouts  and  nearly  getting  caught  .  bonus  points  if  people  around  the  office  don’t  believe  they’re  Banging™  because  their  personalities  are  so  different  .  
CRUSH  :  also  known  as  ,  someone  having  a  crush  on  him  ,  but  he  sees  them  as  a  friend  (  or  even  worse  ,  like  a  younger  sibling  )  .  TAKEN  BY  AYLIN  SAHIN  .
PLATONIC  SOULMATE  :  best  friends  ,  but  make  it  sentimental  .  they  are  thicker  than  thieves  ,  get  on  each  other’s  nerves  ,  but  they  don’t  know  what  they’d  do  without  the  other  .  finish  each  other’s  sentences  (  and  sandwiches  .  sung  will  finish  it  )  and  are  borderline  like  an  old  married  couple  with  the  way  they  act  .
that’s  all  i  got  now  but  i’ve  reblogged  some  posts  that  can  be  found  HERE  and  i’m  down  to  fill  any  wcs  that  you  may  have  as  well  !
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pain-somnia · 4 years ago
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Title: Take Me Now, I’m In Too Far Rating: M (for sexual content) Disclaimer Playlist Art Credit: @inknigella​ (used with permission) Day’s Notes: I have recently updated this fic on Patreon. It is one of three fics of mine exclusive to Patreon, but here’s a chance to read Part 1 of my “exes as roommates” AU. This fic is dear to me in almost the same way Kingdom For Two is. The fic started as a simple Roommates AU, but then was molded into something else when I decided to add the fact that they were exes. I wanted to write about two people that love each other a lot but growing up and becoming “real” adults made things difficulty. If you would like to give this fic a chance and enjoy Part 1, you can find Part 2 & Part 3 on Patreon. Here is a link to the tag for this fic. I have opened up the $1 tier permanently for access to exclusive fics and early access to publicly posted fics, but I have other tiers with different perks. One of the perks for certain tiers are PDFs that contain exclusive art that will only be found in full on my Patreon (or in some cases Cj’s Patreon). The above banner was created with a preview of one of the many works Ink has provided to help bring my work to life.
I hope you all enjoy the first part of this fic and consider becoming one of my patrons 😊
Part One
She was going to kill Karin. And her stupid boyfriend. She was going to kill Karin and her boyfriend and then take back the armchair she let them have as a moving-in-together gift.
Sakura wasn’t that surprised when Karin told her she was moving out. She had been spending so much time at Suigetsu’s apartment, it was as if she had already moved out months ago. It was only a matter of time before the two of them would officially move in together.
Karin had been considerate and had found her a new roommate before she gave her the news. And although Sakura wasn’t too keen on the idea of living with a stranger—a man at that—she was willing to put up with it for her friend’s happiness.
At least for a few months while she looked for a new place if possible.
Unfortunately for Sakura, she couldn’t set a day to actually meet her new roommate before he was set to move in. Their schedules conflicted most days so Karin went ahead and took care of all of the necessary paperwork and was present when he moved in. With how things had begun, Sakura assumed she wouldn’t meet her new roommate until her day off.
She hadn’t expected to run into him as she was leaving for work at the bakery at three in the morning and he was coming home smelling of booze.
She definitely didn’t expect to see her ex-boyfriend holding a key to her apartment.
“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Sasuke muttered, running a hand through his messy, jet black hair.
“You’re my new roommate?” Sakura scoffed, wringing her hands in the scarf she was attempting to put on on her way out. “How did you not know that I was Karin’s roommate?”
Sasuke looked at her impassively for a moment, as if mulling over what he wanted to say before pushing past her and saying, “I’m going to bed.”
“What? We’re not even going to talk about this?”
“If we start now, you’re going to be late for work,” he called back to her without turning around. “Can’t have that can we?”
Sakura scoffed but couldn’t retort. He was right. If she missed her bus she was going to have to wait for the next one and it would cause her to be late.
She wanted nothing more than to bang on his bedroom door and demand that he come out and speak with her. How could he just go to sleep!?
“We’re talking when I get back!” She shouted, grabbing the front door. Sakura waited but there was no response. She growled in frustration and slammed the door behind her on her way out.
.
.
“Have you been taking your anger out on dough again?” Ino commented dryly between page flips of a cake catalogue, pointing out cute designs to the toddler sitting on her lap and cooing.
Sakura rubbed her temple with the heel of her palm and sighed. It was one in the afternoon and she had spent the day busy working on custom orders. At the moment she was sitting through a consultation with her childhood friend who needed to order a birthday cake for her son, Inojin. She had tried to throw herself into baking and packaging orders but now that there was a slow down where it was only her and two of the shop clerks, her mind was free to think about how her ex was now living with her.
“You know how Karin moved out and found me a roommate?”
“Uh-huh, it was kind of unexpected. Isn’t it a little early though? They’ve only been dating for━”
“Sasuke is the roommate she found me.”
“Holy━sorry, honey.” Ino interrupted herself and covered her son’s ears. “Holy shit!”
“I wanted to call her and chew her out but in her defense, she doesn’t know he’s my ex-boyfriend.” Sakura slumped in her seat, took a fork and dug into one of the cake slices she brought out for tasting. “When I did get a chance to talk to her earlier, she said that apparently Suigetsu is best buddies with him and Kiba. Kiba and Sasuke were rooming with their friend Shino but the lease was coming to an end and Shino was moving away for a teaching job and Kiba decided to move in with his fiancée. So━”
“So Sasuke needed a new place quick and conveniently Suigetsu knew a place close enough to his workplace and with someone that desperately needed a new roommate.”
Sakura tossed the fork over her shoulder in defeat and dropped her head into her hands. Ino reached over and patted her arm in a comforting manner.
“I give you guys two weeks.”
“Two weeks for what?” Sakura lifted her head up to narrow her eyes at Ino. “Before we kill each other?”
Ino covered Inojin’s ears one more time and said, “Two weeks before you’re fucking.”
“Ino!” Sakura sat up, looking affronted, hand clutching the front of her apron.
“You guys used to go at it like rabbits,” Ino gave her a sly smile, “and it’s not like you guys broke up because you grew to hate each other.”
“That was years ago, Ino.” Sakura rolled her eyes and pushed the cake slices closer to Inojin. He immediately sank his fingers into the cake and ate from his hands. “He’s probably moved on anyway.”
“It was the stupidest break up.”
“I know it was, but we were so busy and our schedules never aligned. It was frustrating.” Sakura sighed and stared off into space. “It’s been four years…”
Ino took out some wet wipes and cleaned Inojin’s chubby fingers. “So what are you going to do?”
Sakura shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Ino looked at her incredulously. “You’re just going to live with him and not do a thing about it.”
“I didn’t even notice he was there for three days already.” Sakura shrugged again. “And our schedules never sync up. I really don’t think it will be an issue.”
“Unless he brings someone home,” Ino said the words slowly so Sakura couldn’t miss what she was telling her.
“He’s not as insensitive as that.” Sakura crossed her arms in front of her chest. The action was to get as close to hugging herself without actually doing it.
The truth was that the Sasuke she knew wasn’t insensitive. But she didn’t know this Sasuke; a Sasuke that was twenty-five instead of the twenty year old she knew and loved.
.
.
The new apartment was a lot closer to the tattoo parlor he worked at than his old place. It was one of the things that sold him on it when Suigetsu mentioned that Karin was moving in with him and leaving her old roomie without. That and the washer and dryer included in the apartment which meant no more paying at a laundromat or to use the communal laundry center.
Sasuke wasn’t too keen on sharing a space with a woman he didn’t know but Karin insisted that his roommate was clean and quiet and that with her work schedule he wouldn’t be running into her except on Sundays when her bakery was closed.
Bakery.
That was the first sign that had him want to put the pen down and walk away. Because baking is what she wanted to do for a living. But what were the odds that Karin was talking about her? There were tons of bakeries in the city and Sakura didn’t own one the last time he checked.
But that was five years ago when she was nineteen and too young. She was still pretty young to be a business owner but with Sakura’s tenacity there was a highly likely chance that she would have her own shop. And wasn’t that one of the reasons she had been saving every penny she could when she started working?
Shaking his head of all of those thoughts, he had signed the documents that would transfer him as the new leasee replacing Karin.
It wasn’t until he was moving in that Sasuke found out who exactly Karin’s roommate had been.
Suigetsu and he were bringing in boxes while Karin gave him a tour of the apartment when he saw the photos on the wall. Anyone could dye their hair pink but what were the odds that another pink haired woman around Karin’s age would have gone to Catholic school for high school and wore the same uniform that Sakura used to prance around in.
“Sakura is pretty sentimental so she has photos all over the apartment,” he distantly heard Karin explain as he examined all of the photos that were lined up in the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Come check out the bathroom. It’s pretty big ‘cause the washer and dryer are set up in there. There’s a door to block out that area from the toilet and shower cabin for some privacy. It’s frosted glass but you can’t really see what’s going on on the other side.”
Karin hadn’t been friends with Sakura when the two of them had been dating so he couldn’t fault her for not knowing but Suigetsu did know that Sakura was his ex.
An ex he was still kind of hung up on.
Which is why after work he headed to the bar with Kiba and Tamaki, Kiba’s fiancée. They were supposed to celebrate him finding a new place but after Kiba asked why Suigetsu wasn’t there, Sasuke explained that he was banned from their usual bar for a few weeks because he let him move in with his ex without warning him.
If he was lucky he would never have to run into Sakura while he was living there. Because wasn’t that the cause of their breakup before? With her busy culinary school schedule and apprenticeship and then his work at the parlor running into late at night, they barely saw each other.
So stumbling in slightly drunk and a little high at three in the morning, Sasuke didn’t expect to see her on the other side of the apartment door in the middle of bundling up for the November cold.
Sakura still looked like she did at nineteen but different at the same time. Her face had lost most of the roundness of youth, but her figure was no longer as slim. She was still on the thin side, but unlike Karin who was all sharp edges and harsh angles, Sakura had filled out either with age or from eating one too many of her own cupcakes.
Sasuke ran a hand through his hair before tucking the arm it was attached to behind his head. He was finding it difficult to stay asleep which was all he had planned on doing before work for the day. Sakura had said something about talking later and he had been dreading having to have the conversation. He vaguely recalled saying something snarky about her running late for work. No doubt she would be upset over that.
The conversation was going to happen. But considering he would be gone before she came home from work, who knew when it would actually take place.
If he was lucky, she would wait until they were home and not find him at work like she used to.
.
.
When Sasuke first met Sakura she was wearing all of the cliche warning signs.
He was busy sketching when she strolled into the shop. Sasuke was supposed to be manning the reception desk and was likely to get bitched at by his cousin’s best friend for not paying attention.
“Hey,” greeted a cheerful voice.
Looking up from his sketchbook, Sasuke blinked in confusion at what he was seeing. Before him stood two teenage girls wearing the dark green tartan patterned pleated skirt and white button down shirt of a school uniform. The blonde one had a sweater wrapped around her waist but the slightly shorter girl with rose gold hair had a cream colored school cardigan with the school crest emblazoned on the left side of her chest.
“Our Lady of Sorrows is seven blocks,” Sasuke pointed out the door, “that way.”
“We have an appointment.” The blonde girl blew a bubble with her gum and popped it. “The school day also ended like an hour ago, dude.”
Raising an eyebrow, he flipped through the appointment book and asked, “names?”
“Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno,” the girl with the pink hair answered, pointing at the girl that matched the names she gave. “We have an appointment with my cousin Sasori.”
Looking down the schedule log there it was. The new piercer did have an appointment with an Ino and a Sakura.
“Aren’t piercings prohibited at catholic schools?” Sasuke asked, eyeing the uniforms.
“Yeah, but you can’t get caught if you get them where the nuns can’t see them.” The pink haired girl winked at him, green eyes sparkling mischievously.
“What kind of piercings are you getting then?” He asked, taking out the waiver forms.
“Belly button for Ino.” The blonde girl raised her hand and took her form and filled out the form.
He turned to Sakura and waited for her answer. Her lips turned upwards at the corners in a coy smile.
“Hips.”
Even now, if Sasuke closed his eyes and concentrated on the memory of Sakura swiveling her hips as he thrust up into her, he could see the jewelry twinkling at him as she dipped her hips.
A lot of years had gone by since that first encounter and Sasuke was no longer the shop slave he was during his apprenticeship and Sakura was no longer that rebellious catholic school girl.
It didn’t stop him from wondering if her dermals were still in place or if after all those years her skin rejected the piercings and they had to be removed.
“What’s up with you, kid?” He felt someone ruffle his hair and he swatted at the air. The only one that had the courage to do so was Konan, one of their piercers.
“Nothing,” he replied, sanitizing the tattoo bed before his next client showed up.
“His ex girlfriend found out he lives with her,” Kiba cackled from his work station. Sasuke took his discarded gloves and threw them across the room until they hit him with a smack. “Ow!”
“Why would that be a surprise?” Konan asked. Sasuke made himself busy taking needles to the autoclave to avoid responding.
“She works baker’s hours,” Sasuke heard Kiba responding for him. “They have opposing schedules so Sui’s girlfriend took care of everything.”
“Good luck with that.”  Konan went to the reception counter to check the appointment book. She had already moved on from the conversation.
I’m going to need more than luck, Sasuke grumbled inwardly.
.
.
Sakura drummed her fingers against her mug, nails clinking against the ceramic. She knew Sasuke wouldn’t get home until late so she called the co-owner of her bakery and asked her to oversee the baking of the everyday  goods the following morning.
While Sakura mostly ran the show in the kitchen—Hinata being too soft and gentle to command the staff—she was mostly the cake artist and worked on custom orders. It was a lot more relaxed than the job she had as a pastry chef for the high end hotel in the city, but it still demanded a lot of her time.
She could spend hours of her day just to work on a cake that would still take her three days to make all of the components for it.
It wasn’t until one in the morning that the front door creaked open, keys jingling as they were pulled out of the lock.
“You stayed up.” Sasuke toed his boots off and lined them up next to hers. The leather work boots were of a popular brand so they hadn’t alarmed Sakura despite them being part of Sasuke’s signature look.
Sakura stood up from his seat at the couch and wrapped her oversized cardigan tighter around her body. She hugged herself, feeling exposed in her pajamas. “I said we had to talk.”
“There’s not much to talk about.” Sasuke tossed his keys on the kitchen island. Sakura grabbed them and placed them on a wall hook next to her own set of keys. “I need a place to live, you need a roommate. That’s it.”
“That’s it?” Sakura asked, voice soft and slow, urging him to re-examine their situation. When he continued to stare at her impassively, Sakura scoffed.
“I didn’t know you were Karin’s roommate until I was moving in.”
“I know.” Sakura ran a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs back. Sasuke wasn’t a liar. At least the Sasuke she knew wasn’t a liar. “I know.”
“So is this the end of the discussion?” Sasuke’s eyes drifted from her to the hallway behind her. It was late and all he wanted was to get to bed. “I don’t really see any problem with us living together. You didn’t even notice that I was here for three days.”
The problem is that I never got over you. “Alright, if there’s no problem then let’s go over the rules.”
“Rules?” Sasuke gave her a blank look.
“Yes, rules. Karin and I had them and now so will we.”
“Okay.” Sasuke crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the island. “What are your rules?”
“Rule number one: no fucking on the couch.”
Sasuke’s eyes went wide and he choked on an inhale. “That’s a rule you guys had or is that one you made for me?”
“That was an actual rule we had.” Sakura shivered in disgust. “Suigetsu has a very pale ass.”
“Yeah, everyone’s seen more of Sui than they’ve ever wanted to.”
“Rule number two: toilet seat needs to be put back down after use.”
“Okay, that’s definitely one you made up for me.” Sasuke stood you straighter and looked her up and down. “Do I get to make rules too?”
“I will consider them.”
“Alright.” Sasuke was silent for a moment as he pondered. “No obnoxious noises such as vacuuming when you know the other is sleeping.”
“That’s reasonable.” Sakura sat down on one of the bar stools at the island and took out her notepad. She took out a pen and wrote down a few lines. “I do my laundry twice a week━Wednesdays and Sundays, usually around noon. Having a schedule kind of helps out ‘cause the laundry room is in the bathroom.”
They went back and forth writing down rules and going over each other’s work schedule. Sakura tapped the pen on the table and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to step on any toes or be misunderstood but she needed to bring up an uncomfortable topic.
“No overnight guests.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow and in a rush to recover Sakura blurted out, “for either of us! At least not without a heads up. I don’t want to be walking around in my underwear and there’s a stranger in my home.”
“Why would you be walking around in your━?”
“I sleep like that sometimes!” Sakura snapped, cheeks heating up. “I wake up to use the bathroom or get water and I’m too drowsy to consider pants.”
“Why do you sleep in your underwear if you get cold easily?” Sasuke’s face scrunched up in confusion.
“I come home too tired to change so I just sleep in my underwear.” Sakura stomped her foot. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Don’t judge me!”
“Just remember that I live here now and will see your ass if you decide that pants are too much,” Sasuke yawned, “effort. I’m going to bed now.”
Sakura watched him head to his room with a frown on her face. It wasn’t until she heard the lock on his door click that she let out an exhausted sigh.
Does he have to look cute when he’s sleepy?
.
.
“Is this too much for a three year old’s birthday?” Sakura sat back and looked thoughtfully at her sketch with her chin resting on her fist.
Hinata shrugged as she continued to pipe buttercream flowers. “I mean it’s more for Ino, isn't it?”
“God,” Sakura rolled her eyes, “it really is. I’m sure Inojin would be happy with a dinosaur on a cake instead of a dinosaur made out of cake.”
Hinata giggled softly as she continued to make a bouquet out of cupcakes. She was working on cupcakes for a bridal shower. Sakura had helped her with the structure to make it appear that it was suspended in the air and now all she had to do was decorate it.
When Sakura had met Hinata, the young woman wasn’t the best baker. It was an issue of confidence and being unsure if it was the best decision she had made. Upon discovering that Hinata had a few years to become a successful baker or get married to a man her father chose, Sakura took her under her wing and when they were ready they used Hinata’s trust fund to secure a location.
At that point Sakura already had a reputation for her cake sculptures so they lucked out.
Just because Sakura couldn’t be with the person she loved, it didn’t mean she was going to watch someone give up on their dream and marry someone they were forced to.
“So how has Tinder been working out for you?” Sakura drawled as she took out the ingredients she was going to need.
“I prefer Bumble, actually,” Hinata mumbled, face flushing pink. “You know it’s weird describing myself as pleasantly plump. Usually I would just say fat or chubby.”
“But you are pleasantly plump,” Sakura teased her. “And good call on Bumble. Message any guys?”
“I might have,” Hinata muttered under her breath, face turning a dark shade of red.
“Oh, you dirty slut.”
“We only met for coffee!” Hinata insisted over Sakura’s laughter. Sakura waved her hand at her and tried to reign in her laughter. It was quiet in the kitchen until Hinata said, “I wouldn’t have minded though. He has such pretty blue eyes.”
Sakura only stopped laughing when Hinata threw buttercream at her face.
The assistants walked in from the front of the shop to find Sakura covered in pink and purple frosting, armed with a piping bag full of green frosting, and Hinata shielding her cupcake sculpture.
.
.
Sakura was exhausted by the time she got home. It was one of those rare days where she didn’t get home until late. There was so much math and engineering into creating cake sculptures and trial and error.
She slumped against her apartment door and groaned. She had just unlocked the door but had no energy to push it open.
“You’re almost there, don’t pass out now.” Turning slightly, Sakura mumbled incoherently at the sight of Sasuke holding a take out bag. “Jesus Christ, you’re dead on your feet.”
“Carry me,” Sakura grumbled.
Sighing to himself, Sasuke handed her the bag of takeout and crouched down, scooping her legs up and cradling her. “How the fuck did Karin deal with you? She’s twiggy.”
“Suigetsu was usually around or she’d drag me across the floor.” Sakura opened the bag of food and examined the contents as Sasuke set her down on the couch. “Anything I’d like in here?”
“I thought you would be sleeping, but I have some stuff you could tolerate.” He grabbed two plates and brought them to the coffee table and began to serve her some of his food. “Do you ever take a break?”
“I have a day off tomorrow technically.”
“But you’re going to go to work.” Sasuke shook his head, unruly hair swaying around his face. “Typical.”
And with that Sakura lost all desire to eat despite not having had anything to eat all day except for some bread and tastings.
“Hey, where are you? It’s getting weird just sitting here. I can order right now if you’re nearby.”
“Oh, shoot! Sasuke I’m sorry but I’m still at work.”
“Wasn't today your day off?”
So what if she was a “workaholic?” If she were a man no one would see anything wrong with how much she worked.
She knew that eventually she was going to be faced with reminders of what a shitty girlfriend she had been, but she had hoped that she would be alone as she looked back on all of the mistakes she had made.
Sasuke had forgiven her for the first missed date but once he had been stood up a second, third, fourth, fifth time he stopped making any plans for them.
“I gotta take this coat off,” Sakura mumbled, fumbling with the buttons. Sasuke reached over and helped her get free of her coat and then hung it up on the hooks by the door. If he was going to be this nice for the duration of the time they lived together, the shittier she was going to feel.
“Karin said you owned a bakery. When did that happen?” He handed her a plate full of food, much more food than Sakura would have served herself, but one look from Sasuke had her clamming up and taking the set of chopsticks he placed flat across her palm.
“A few years ago…” Sakura swallowed a bite of dumpling. “It was kind of an accident.”
Sasuke raised an eyebrow and paused in his chewing. Sakura laughed through her nose and explained to him how she had met Hinata.
She had been working at the same high end hotel she had done her apprenticeship when Hinata had been hired on the spot. The tiny, plump woman was quiet and stuttered when speaking to her coworkers because no one wanted her there.
Hinata had been hired because of her last name—the hotel being owned by the Hyūga family—with no references nor any culinary school training which was required to work at the Michelin star hotel restaurant. Due to the fact they were around the same age and because she was the newest hire, Sakura was tasked with watching over the woman. No one else would take up the responsibility thinking that Hinata would hold them back.
Sakura just couldn’t leave Hinata alone. She reminded her so much of herself when she was younger. She helped to train her during her off time and guided her through the French techniques that Sakura had been trained in.
The desire to learn and the drive was there, hidden under the fear of failure.
Sakura moved on to work at a custom cake shop where she could use more of her artistic abilities. Eventually the owner was ready to retire and was willing to sell the store to her.
She wanted to own her shop one day. It was part of her goals but brick and mortar shops were expensive. If it weren’t for Hinata’s trust fund she would never have been able to afford the shop. The two of them had kept in touch and when Sakura found out that Hinata was on her way to quitting being a pastry chef, they made plans to go into business together.
Sasuke listened to her story, never interjecting but nodding at certain intervals and slight facial shifts showing that Sakura still had his attention.
“So what have you been up to?” Sakura asked, digging through the leftover noodles in one of the cartons.
“I still work at the same shop. I moved out a few years ago. Funnily enough it was my mom that was on my case not my dad.”
“Really?” Sakura was genuinely shocked.
When she had last seen Fugaku he wasn’t the biggest supporter of Sasuke’s chosen profession. He had paid for him to go to art school, not to waste his talent working at a tattoo parlor. His mother, Mikoto, was the one that had always been his personal cheerleader.
“I think it was all of the new ink,” Sasuke gestured to his sleeve covered arms, “that really did it for my mom. She always made faces at them and commented about what kind of girl I thought I would be attracting with them.”
I always liked your tattoos. Sakura shrugged and stuffed noodles into her mouth to keep from commenting out loud.
When Sakura was just freshly eighteen and finishing her final year of high school, Sasuke was the exact kind of guy her grandmother had wanted her to stay away from. She had left money behind in her will for Sakura to attend the same school she and Sakura’s mother, Mebuki, had attended.
Our Lady of Sorrows was a Catholic private school that Sakura’s parents wouldn’t have been able to afford without the money her grandmother had left behind. She had probably hoped that Sakura would go to private school, be abstinent, go to college and then medical school and then eventually marry a doctor.
It was too bad that Sakura preferred to be in the kitchen with her father a lot more than she cared for her school. If they had let her stay in public school there may have been a better chance of her focusing on her studies and eventually going to medical school like her grandma had wanted her to. Sakura had been miserable at Our Lady of Sorrows, her only solace being Ino and baking.
And Sasuke.
Sasuke had been the kind of cliché salvation a teenage girl fantasized about. And she still couldn’t believe that at one point in their lives, she had been his.
.
.
Ino cut off the boy that usually sat at the desk in front of Sakura and slid into the seat, a manic look in her eyes. “Guess what?”
“I’m not playing this game,” Sakura laughed, completely ignoring the boy that was frowning at Ino.
“Well, fine. Be boring.” Ino huffed, blowing her bangs up and letting them flop back on her face. “But anyway so I was talking to your cousin Sasori━”
“Ino, he’s way too old for you and he’s gay. And you have a boyfriend.”
“That’s not why I was talking to your cousin, Billboard Brow.” Ino flicked Sakura’s forehead. “But anywho. So I went to visit your cousin at that parlor he’s working at now ‘cause I wanna get those piercings you wanted for your birthday━no arguments. They’re on me. We’re going after school.”
“That’s awfully generous of you.” Sakura pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at her. “Is Sasori giving you a discount?”
Ino scoffed. “I wish! That miser,” she grumbled. Ino shook her hair out and then smiled slyly at her. “But that’s not even the best part.”
Sakura rolled her eyes. Ino was really milking the big surprise. She was too impatient for this and the homeroom teacher would show up soon.
“Remember that mega hottie from the public school at the student showcase down at The Factory Art Center?”
Sakura groaned, dropping her head onto her planner. How could she forget? She was just lucky that he hadn’t seen her run straight into a wall because she had been so distracted. The only good thing that came about that was that Ino met her boyfriend Sai that day. And that the boy hadn’t noticed her accident.
It had been a student showcase for the senior students in the schools in the city and Sakura and Ino attended for extra credit. Sakura had been mindlessly looking at all of the pieces until a tall boy wearing all black with messy hair had caught her eye. She had barely heard Ino call out “Dibs!” before she ran into one of the pillars because she wasn’t paying attention to where she was walking.
Ino had given up chase and did her best friend duties by checking up on Sakura. Luckily for her, a different dark haired boy had seen the whole thing and had come over to help out and Ino got her older boyfriend anyway.
“That was almost a whole year ago. Why must you remind me that I embarrassed myself in front of like, seven different senior classes.”
“Mega hottie works at the parlor your cousin does. He’s an apprentice-slash-shop slave.”
That, Sakura hadn’t expected. She had seen his work and expected him to go off to art school and then maybe come back to The Factory Art Center to be a resident artist or for him to even switch tracks and work at Glass & Iron━he did have some lampwork and some welding work as part of his showcase.
“So what?” Sakura swallowed. The grin on Ino’s face was foreboding.
“So,” Ino reached over and played with the ends of Sakura’s long pink hair, “someone is going to take her cute butt down there and finally meet him.”
.
.
“Sakura.”
Sakura blinked at the hand that waved in front of her face. Sasuke looked down at her with concern. She looked just about ready to pass out in her noodles.
“Are you okay? You should probably get to bed.” He would just have to clean up everything on his own. And if she tried to go to work on her day off, he’d call the tiny red terror━Karin or Sakura’s cousin, Sasori━to force her to rest for once.
Sakura rubbed her eye with the back of her little fist and murmured, “I should. Thank you for the food.”
She was so small and tired, Sasuke just wanted to scoop her up and bundle her up in her blankets. But then he remembered that she would be going to her own room and he would be going to his and there were four years between now and when he was hers.
Did she still curl herself inward like a cat when she slept? Bury herself under three blankets that weighed almost as much she did?
He could help her to her room and find out. She was dead on her feet and would probably need him to keep from stumbling and running into a wall. It would be so easy to just curl his arm around her waist, pull her closer to his sturdier frame.
It would be easy, oh so easy. And that’s why Sasuke left her to her own devices.
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tickle-bugs · 4 years ago
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I Dot the I in Your Name with My Heart
Summary: Lunch breaks between classes lead Simone and Eleanor into the silliest not-quite-argument they’ve ever had. AU where they’re professors at the same University.
@peachytickles HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELOVED!!!! Ilysm you light up my life and my day. I hope your day is as incredible as you are. Have some Laid Ease as a present and I will continue to be annoying in your dms as a further gift <3
“Babe!” Eleanor threw open Simone’s door, adjusting the comically large satchel on her shoulder. 
“Nope.” Simone didn’t look up from her computer. One day her wife would learn to knock. One day. Eleanor sighed, spun on her heel, and exited the office, grumbling under her breath all the while. 
A cheery knock absolutely dripping with sarcasm sent Simone into a quiet fit of snickers. 
“Dr. Garnett?” Simone could hear Eleanor roll her eyes from the other side of the door. She stifled her smile. The fact that their breaks aligned this semester was a true gift--though Simone did miss lurking in the back of Eleanor’s classroom like a high schooler waiting for her prom date. 
“Come in.” Simone hid her face behind her computer monitor when Eleanor once again flung the door open. 
“I’m gonna grab coffee. Want anything specific?” Eleanor pushed the door shut with her heel, cutting off Simone’s unspoken complaint by sticking out her tongue. 
“I left you a sticky on your desk,” Simone frowned, fingers slowing on the keys.
“I couldn’t read it.”
“Wh--Eleanor.” 
“Don’t Eleanor me. You have a horrible case of doctor handwriting.”  She hung her satchel on one of the chairs in front of Simone’s desk. She rolled up the sleeves of her fraying sweater, continually stopping to untangle her wedding ring from the threads it pulled. Simone’s gaze lingered on her arms--clusters of freckles were starting to dust her pale skin. Cute. 
“No I don’t. It’s perfectly legible.”
“Simone. Babe. Love of my life. Your handwriting is unreadable.” Eleanor pulled her clutch out of her satchel. She thumbed through it, lighting up at something in the overstuffed bag--probably her rewards card. She loved free stuff. 
“Maybe you need to learn how to read.” Simone drew her brows together in a signature grumpy pout.
“What does this say?” Eleanor slid the sticky note across the desk and Simone snatched it. God, she must’ve been in a rush because her handwriting looped way more than usual. Did that say carnival? Caravan? Shit. 
“Obviously...this says…”
“Oh my god. You can’t read it?” Eleanor came around the desk to lean over Simone’s shoulder. Her warm hands slid around Simone’s arms and she leaned subtly back into the embrace. 
“Shut up! I totally can. It says…”
“I’m waiting.” Eleanor laughed softly into her ear and Simone’s cheeks grew embarrassingly warm. 
“Why do you bully me like this?” Simone whined. Eleanor pecked her on the lips with that insufferable grin and a fluttery warmth nestled in her chest. 
“You make it easy. Caramel frappé?” Eleanor brushed her thumb over Simone’s cheekbone. 
“Don’t forget the muffin. Love you.” Simone squeezed her hand. 
“Mhm.” Eleanor squeezed back, letting Simone’s fingers trail over her palm as she pulled away. Simone yanked her back, using the momentum to tug Eleanor down for a kiss. She looked up at her expectantly until Eleanor smiled. 
“Love you too,” She sighed fondly, adorning Simone’s forehead with a light lipstick print that she then carefully thumbed away. She drifted out the door, blowing kisses like a celebrity bidding farewell to her adoring entourage, and Simone returned to her work, a silly smile etched upon her lips. 
The waiting time flew by rather unremarkably--silence triggered a meditative, boundless focus in her that she could nurture into a completed to-do list, if she was precise about it. Her focus tended to veer like a first-time driver, but she’d gotten rather skilled at placing tasks in the way of her swerving brain. Eleanor’s presence usually helped her stay on track, unless she was doing something distracting, like holding a piece of paper three inches from her face. 
“What’s that?” Simone leaned around her monitor to get a better look at her wife. 
“Our grocery list. Tahani showed me this delivery thing for the grocery store near campus. Figured we could try it out.” Eleanor held the slip of paper closer, squinting between it and her equidistant phone screen as if it contained the universe’s untranslated secrets. 
“Why are you looking at it like that?”
“...No reason.” Eleanor put it down on the desk, trying to read normally, but she was never good at hiding her emotions. Or her ‘I can’t understand this’ squint. Simone narrowed her eyes until Eleanor felt compelled to speak. 
“It’s your handwriting. It’s just so…” Eleanor trailed off, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture, but her hand kept looping and twirling until she’d drawn the world’s most complicated pretzel in the air. 
“So what?” Simone knew what she was trying to say, but she wanted to hear it out loud. 
“Listen, the data is against you. So many doctors have bad handwriting.” Eleanor patted her hand across the desk, a cheeky grin dancing on her lips. 
“Say that again.” Simone narrowed her eyes. 
“Doctors have bad handwriting?”
“Eleanor, it’s data, not data.” Simone moved around the desk and sat next to Eleanor. She pulled her chair close, so their knees touched, and eyed Eleanor while she committed a crime against linguistics. 
“That’s what I said.”
“Say it slowly.”
“Dah. Tah.” Eleanor frowned. 
“No.” Simone held her face between her hands and squished her cheeks. 
“What do you mean, no? That’s how you say it. Data.” Eleanor’s voice came out a little muffled but she didn’t seem bothered. 
“Okay, Elle-ee-ay-nor.” Simone rolled her eyes, dragging out every vowel to the point of extinction. Eleanor pulled Simone’s hands away from her face and held them in her own.
“Now the data suggests that you’re being mean.” 
“Am I being mean or are you being American?” Simone booped her nose and Elly wrinkled it, eyes crossing for a moment while she tracked the offending finger.
“It’s not your fault y’know. Your snipsnaps are misfiring, so you don’t have fine muscle control. So, your handwriting is bad and you don’t know how to pronounce data.” Eleanor booped her back, all smug grins, and Simone promptly decided that only she was allowed a monopoly on mischief. 
“Snip--y’know what? That’s it.” Simone pulled Eleanor into her arms, catching her with an oof. Eleanor went to make a flirtatious joke--Simone could see the gears turning in her head--but it died on her tongue when Simone’s nimble fingers pressed into her stomach. 
“You owe me a handful of apologies, Dr. Shellstrop, because your handwriting is no better.” 
“M-my penmanship is--no!”
“I agree, actually. You are not immune to doctor handwriting, ma’am. Your equations are adorably messy.” Simone squeezed up and down her sides, pulling the squeakiest, most endearing giggles from her. God, she was so cute. 
“You’re adorably--”
“Thanks, babe. I know.” Simone grinned, fingers mapping every inch of the slight-plushness around her waist. Eleanor growled through her next bout of laughter.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” She yanked on Simone’s immovable hands until they slowed.
“Good.”
“Your handwriting is...unique and I love it.” Eleanor draped her arms over Simone’s shoulders. Simone better secured her arms around Eleanor’s waist, pulling her close. 
“Nice save. But what else are you sorry for?” Simone eyed her expectantly and sighed at the silence. 
“Let’s just say I forgive you for tainting my office with ‘dah-tah’. What is the structure that lets nerve cells pass signals called?” Simone raised her brow. Eleanor knew this. Simone knew that she knew. She’d taught her herself. 
“Snipsnap.” Eleanor nodded sagely.
“Synapse.” 
“That’s what I said.” Eleanor pouted--pouted! 
“Try again.” Simone murmured, peppering fluttery kisses along her throat. Lovely, panicked giggles bubbled out of her, taking their rightful place between every breath. 
“Spintaps?”
“Ooh, almost got it. One more try.” Simone buried a laugh in Eleanor’s neck, her hands sliding upwards to latch onto Eleanor’s ribs. That really kicked things up a notch--Eleanor went from cutesy giggles to borderline screeching, unable to decide whether she was clinging to Simone for dear life or trying to run from her. She kicked her legs, heels drumming against the chair leg, and Simone snuck in a few cheeky squeezes to her exposed knees. 
“Slimcats? Syntax? Synapse!” She squealed, finally deciding on shoving Simone’s face away. She was nearly horizontal now, using the last of her core strength not to fall over the chair’s armrest and have a most unpleasant reunion with the floor.
“I’m so proud of you.” Simone rebalanced her with a strong hand across her shoulder blades, pulling her close with a shit-eating grin. Eleanor huffed, but a few airy chuckles found their way out with it. 
“Shut up. I should tickle you while you try to do calculus. See how you like it.” Eleanor swatted her shoulder.
“I love you so much.” Simone singsonged, looking up at Eleanor through her lashes. 
“Mhm. I love you too. Even when you bully me.”
“Bullying? I prefer ‘showering my wife with love.’” Simone rested her cheek on Eleanor’s bicep, puckering her lips until Eleanor leaned down to meet her. 
“Bullying. I forgive you, though.” Eleanor pinched her nose until Simone made a nasally ‘waah’ sound that left both of them wheezing. Eleanor reluctantly scooped up her satchel at the chime of her phone--time for class, unfortunately. 
“See you later.” Simone smiled. Eleanor slid her a yellow sticky note, folded into quarters, and winked on her way out the door. Simone unfolded it--in tight, coiled letters, Eleanor had left her a note. 
I love you, sunshine. 
Aw. She married a sap--a sap who dotted her ‘i’s with hearts, no less. 
Simone stuck the sticky note to the framed photo of Eleanor that she kept on her desk, smoothing out the adhesive until she was certain it would cling. The picture was starting to get covered now, but the notes adorning the frame were just as important as the contents. She brushed her thumb over the frame and returned to work, Eleanor’s laughter lingering in her ears all the while.
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spidernerdsblog · 4 years ago
Text
I Forgot That You Existed : Chapter Nine
A/N: Chapter nine is here. It’s showtime. Kind of a musical chapter. The concert part is completely based on Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour you can watch the concert for better visualization of that part. Only one more chapter to go before the epilogue. Hope you like this chapter. Feedback and suggestions are always welcome.
Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader
Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realize you are still not done with each other.
Warnings : none
Mini Playlist : Are you ready for it, I did something bad, Gorgeous, Delicate, Shake it Off, Style, Love Story,You belong with me, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things and Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift
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After reading out the letter you let out a deep sigh you felt a little giddy as you shakily folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. You sat on the bed immersed in deep thought for how long you don't know. The words written in the letter were constantly reeling in your mind. You felt as if someone had placed a mirror in front of you and you can’t hide from your real self. You were snapped out of your train of thoughts when you heard Harry going off about something. You went out of your room and stood on the corridor upstairs holding on to the railing as you looked down to see everyone gathered. 
"What happened?" 
"Tom is not answering his phone, he said he would return by afternoon and it's almost evening now." Sam said. 
"I'm so done with his careless attitude, what does he think of himself?" Harry grumbled. You puckered your face thinking suddenly you remembered something. 
"Okay guys calm down I know where he could be." You went to your room to grab your bag and came down the stairs. 
"Don't worry I'll bring him back before dinner." You said before leaving. 
The cliff top was the only place you both used to go when you felt down. So you started to walk in that direction. The sun was setting and as you had guessed you could see him from a distance sitting there. You went to one of the stalls and bought two beers before going up to him. 
"I knew I would find you here." You said nonchalantly. Tom turned his head. 
"Oh.. Hey" 
"Why aren't you answering your phone? Everybody is worried for you." 
"Sorry didn't mean to bother anyone." 
"Here." You handed him a beer bottle. As you sat beside him, you clinked your bottles taking a sip you spoke. 
"So how are you doing?" 
"Fine I guess." 
"You wanna talk about it?" 
"No. " You scoff rolling your eyes and grabbed his jaw making him face you. 
"C'mon talk to me"
"There's nothing to talk about Y/N, I'm fine, really fine." You turned your gaze to the horizon letting out a deep breath. 
"Why did you let her go?" you said softly.
"Because that will be best for us." 
"But you were in love with each other." 
"Maybe. Or she was just in love and I was looking for a distraction which I had mistaken as love" 
"See nothing has ended Tom if you want I'll go talk to her and apologize for everything." 
"You don't need to do that, you haven't done anything to apologise. It was all my fault whatever happened today and six year ago I'm to be blamed. My insecurities made me indecisive. For the first time in these six years I have made the right decision." Tom ranted. 
"I'm sorry Y/N I'm really sorry for everything." You placed your hand on his shoulder reassuringly.
"Hey if you're to blame then I'm equally guilty too. Everyone told me to sort out our differences but I didn't. Moreover, I hid the truth about our baby from you and your family. I'm sorry too. And if I wouldn’t have come here in the first place none of this would happen." 
"By the way, sorry for ditching you today at the rehearsals."
"Though I was mad at you before but now it's okay." 
“Is it ok for you to drink cold stuff before your concerts doesn’t it affect the throat?”
“It’s absolutely fine mom. Plus I need it, you know, stress relief.”
"Hey you remember when we were in high school we sneaked out to go to that party our parents told us not to go and got really drunk and your parents caught us late at night when you were trying to get into your house through the window." 
"Oh that was a hell of a night and we got caught all because of Harrison who tripped on one of our flower pots in the backyard breaking it and waking up my parents." You scoffed. 
"Then my parents told both of your parents. And we all got a two hour lecture the next day with one month being grounded." 
"You and Haz always used to fight when we were younger." Tom chuckled
"Yeah because that div had an annoying habit to pull my hair. And you know how much I hate when someone touches my hair" 
"By the way I watched your recent movie it was really good." 
"Thanks" 
"Though I felt the intimate scenes were quite sloppy" you stick out your tongue and chuckle. Tom rolled his eyes.
“Because you weren't there princess I don't get the feel and passion unless it's you.” He winked. You rolled your eyes.
"Your new album really took me by surprise. I was left wondering where did my naive country girl go?" 
"Had to put some people in their place." You gave a sly grin. 
"That was hell of a comeback." 
"Sure it was.. Going by the words of the media, 'PHENOMENAL!', 'RECORD BREAKING!', 'SAVAGE!'." You both giggled. 
"I thought you didn't like my songs."
"Oh C'mon, you believe that?" 
"I haven't been here around six years. A lot of things have changed so who knows?" you shrugged. 
"This feels good... Us together having heart to heart conversations like old times." Tom said. You hummed lacing your fingers with Tom's, resting your head on his shoulder. 
"You sent the VIP passes to Mrs Nelson?" 
"How can I forget our little special guest."
"Vienna is such a sweet girl that reminds me of…" you stopped as memories of when you were going to be a mother flashed in front of you. 
"I don't know why I'm sharing this but we were going to have a girl." You mumbled placing your other hand on your belly. 
"You know the time when Destiny was inside me." You said fiddling with his fingers. 
"Destiny?"
"Yeah I had thought to name her Destiny. I know it's silly." You shrugged. 
"No it's actually cute." 
"Those were the most precious moments of my life. A tiny speck of life growing inside me that we made, accidentally though.” You gave a low laugh.
“Motherhood is a whole new feeling.She would have been the same age as Vienna and maybe we would have been celebrating her 5th birthday here." You said with a hardened gaze. 
"Sometimes I really feel she might have known that I'm going to be a horrible mother that's why she left me." 
"Hey don't you ever think like that you would have been the best mom." Tom said with a serious tone looking at you.
"Hmm.. I really missed you." You snuggled into him. 
"I missed you too." Tom pecked on your hairline. 
"So what did you actually miss about me?" 
"Umm.. let me think, I definitely missed the face you made after losing in golf. You were such a cry baby" you chuckled.
"You are never letting that go aren't you?"
"Nope" 
"Then I missed your half burnt pancakes." 
"I missed your soft curls and I mean it" you ruffled his hair with your hand. 
"I honestly hated your buzz cut. It was so depressing for me to see you without the curls I adore so much. I felt so angry on the Russos I thought of giving them an earful for why they made you cut your hair." 
"But I felt really good, no need for styling. And what about you? You also cut your hair short." You straightened yourself. 
"Hey! That's a bob cut that has nothing to do with your buzz cut. I atleast had hair on my head." You retorted. 
"Okay.. what other things you missed?" 
"I missed your unruly eyebrow" you brushed your thumb over his eyebrow. 
"I missed your crooked nose." You booped his nose with the tip of your index finger. 
''I missed your smile and your soft lips" your hand rested on his cheek. 
"And?" Tom said in a low voice your faces were inches apart as you breathed heavily.
" I..I" you stuttered as you glanced at his lips. Tom licked his lips watching you enigmatically. You cleared your throat and pulled away immediately. 
"Never mind what did you miss about me huh?" Tom was snapped out of his trance as he blinked his eyes a few times. 
"What did I miss?" 
"Uh.. I missed watching sunsets like this with you." 
"I missed the priority access to your new album and listening to them up close. You are still not going to tell me about the song you are going to sing in the end are you?"
"Nope you have to wait mister that's a surprise. Okay now continue" 
"Well I missed this adorable face, I missed these beautiful eyes which could read me like an open book, I missed this captivating smile which can light up my whole day, I missed you so much." He tucked in the loose strands of your hair flying in the sea breeze behind your ear. 
"Y/N I.. I" 
"No Tom, don't say those words. Don't make it harder for me to leave than it is already." 
"Then don't leave." Tom hold on to your hand. 
"We don't have a choice Tom." You got up. "Now come on let's go back before everyone gets even more stressed than they are already for us." 
Your heart crumbles under the weight of the fact that the love you share isn't enough for either of you. You could finally tell that you want to live your life with him. But you don't want to get carried away with the misconception of proclamation of love equates to a happily ever after. You know your realities are not aligning. 
Tom stood up and laced his fingers into yours. You smiled and gave a little squeeze to his hand as you both walked down the road hand in hand. 
Tom looked at you intently. He wanted to hold on to you tighter and believe that maybe this time things would work out as he had dreamed of once but he knew you had let go long before that. You are hurt and scared to fall in love again. And he is desperate to try and make you realize that your long lost love is still alive and wants to come back to you. You just need to open your arms and embrace it. 
"Here I brought back your brother safe and sound." You said reaching home. 
"Why do you have a phone if you're not going to answer it?" Harry scolded Tom. 
"Okay it was my fault I'm sorry." 
"Guys I have an announcement. As you know tomorrow is my concert so I have arranged VIP passes for you guys." Everyone cheered. 
………………….......
Next day went really fast as the time came for your concert. Thousands of people waiting on the ground just to get a glimpse of you and listen to your songs. Your heart was racing even after performing so many concerts the anticipation was killing you as you got ready looking into the mirror touching up your makeup for the one last time. 
"Y/N are you ready?" Tom said, his jaw dropped as you turned around. 
"Wooww! You.. You look ravishing." You giggled. 
"Thanks Tom." 
"Okay it is going to start in five minutes. Don't worry everything will be fine, I will be there backstage." 
"Tom, Tom, relax , you seem to be more stressed than me. I have done this before a lot of times. You just enjoy the show, I got this." 
The stage was set, the stadium was full, the crowd cheering at the top of their voice as the show began. 
Pre recorded song playing
Baby, let the games begin
Let the games begin
Let the games begin
Baby, let the games begin
Let the games begin
Let the games begin
The screen doors slide open as you enter the stage. Audience went crazy cheering loudly. You stood in the center and pulled down your hood of the jacket you were wearing and started singing.
“Knew he was a killer first time that I saw
 him loved and left haunted
But if he's a ghost, then I can be a 
phantom
Holdin' him for ransom
Some, some boys are tryin' too hard
He don't try at all, though
Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so
I see nothing better, I keep him forever
Like a vendetta-ta
I-I-I see how this is gon' go
Touch me and you'll never be alone
I-Island breeze and lights down low
No one has to know
In the middle of the night, in my dreams
You should see the things we do, baby
In the middle of the night, in my dreams
I know I'm gonna be with you
So I take my time
Are you ready for it?
Me, I was a robber first time that he saw me ............”
You continued singing. After the song ended you paused to look at the whole stadium as the audience cheered loudly. You peeled off the jacket to reveal the bodysuit you were wearing. The notes for your next song started playing.
“I never trust a narcissist
But they love me
So I play 'em like a violin
And I make it look oh so easy
'Cause for every lie I tell them
They tell me three
This is how the world works
Now all he thinks about is me
I can feel the flames on my skin
Crimson red paint on my lips
If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing
I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming
They say I did something bad
Then why's it feel so good?
They say I did something bad
But why's it feel so good?
Most fun I ever had
And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could
It just felt so good, good”
Fireworks went off, it was spectacular to watch. 
"Holyy!! Shit!! Man she's literally a queen. Just look at her." Ed exclaimed. Everyone agreed to him as they all witnessed you in your full glory from the VIP seating area. 
“That’s my girl!!!” Zendaya exclaimed.
“I never trust a playboy
But they love me
So I fly him all around the world
And I let them think they saved me
They never see it comin'
What I do next
This is how the world works
You gotta leave before you get left
I can feel the flames on my skin
He says, "Don't throw away a good thing"
But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothin'
And if he spends my change, then he had it comin'
They say I did something bad
Then why's it feel so good?
They say I did something bad
But why's it feel so good?
Most fun I ever had
And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could
It just felt so good, good
It just felt so good”
(Loud cheers from the audience.)
"Well good evening Cornwall!! And welcome to the Reputation extended Stadium tour beach carnival concert." 
"You know guys I have been coming to this area since I was about 15 years old. So it's a good long history between us. And I want to say thank you for a few things. First of all having been to Cornwall as many times as I’ve been here, I know how many things are available for you to do on a Saturday night. You have lots of options and you decided to spend your Saturday evening with us. Thank you so much!!" Audience cheers loudly.
"You may have heard this. It’s a little known fact. This is the last night of the beach festival and my tour." audience cheering. 
"And so you decided not only to spend your Saturday night with us, but to come here and commemorate the last night of the festival. That is such a beautiful thing."
"Thank you for deciding all of those things tonight. I would even say it’s something even more than beautiful. It’s like a step above beautiful. What’s the word for that, Cornwall?"
Voice echoes "Gorgeous"
"That’s the one." You chuckle. 
Notes of Gorgeous playing
“You should take it as a compliment
That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk
You should think about the consequence
Of your magnetic field being a little too strong
And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us
He's in the club doing, I don't know what
You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)
Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine
You've ruined my life, by not being mine
You're so gorgeous
I can't say anything to your face
'Cause look at your face
And I'm so furious
At you for making me feel this way
But, what can I say?
You're gorgeous
You should take it as a compliment
That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you)
And you should think about the consequence
Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)
If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her
But if you're single that's honestly worse
'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts
(Honey, it hurts)
Ocean blue eyes looking in mine
I feel like I might sink and drown and die”
You're so gorgeous
I can't say anything to your face
'Cause look at your face
And I'm so furious
At you for making me feel this way
But, what can I say?”
"And now Cornwall I would like to introduce you to the incredibly talented gorgeous women of the tour." 
"Make some noise!!!" the audience cheered. 
"For Jazz!, Maria!, Gracie!, Kamilah!, Jeslyn!, Melanie!, Nadine!, Stephanie!, Yoe!, Eliotte!" 
"And I'm Y/N." 
"Thanks for hanging out with us tonight!" 
You resumed singing. 
(Medley of Style, Love Story and You belong with me.) 
As the song ended the crowd erupted in cheers you looked up to the whole stadium smiling. You turned your back to the audience and strolled sensually and again turned around throwing your voice to a higher pitch.
“You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye
And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like (crowd screaming)
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time
'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style
You've got that long hair slick back, white t-shirt
And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time
'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style
Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights
Long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise
Fade into view, oh,
It's been a while since I have even heard from you
(Heard from you)
And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I
Know exactly where it leads but I
Watch it go round and round each time”
''Cornwall will you please make some noise for my incredible band?!" crowd cheered. 
“We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standin' there
On a balcony in summer air
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say, "Hello"
Little did I know
That you were Romeo, you were throwin' pebbles
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"
And I was cryin' on the staircase
Beggin' you, "Please don't go, " and I said
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"
Chords of you belong with me playing......
“Oooooh, I remember you drivin' to my house
In the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me
(audience cheering)
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see
You belong with me
"Let me see you jump!!" You jumped in your place singing, the audience jumped along with you too.
“Standin' by and waitin' at your back door
All this time, how could you not know, baby
You belong with me
You belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me”
Loud cheering as you bowed and went backstage. 
"Man she could wage a war against the world just look at the crowd." Harry joked.
"Couldn't be more proud of her. She has come a long way" Harrison said
“I knew how much you love to sing that song” Tom quipped handing you a water bottle. 
“Fuck off!” Tom chuckled. You quickly slipped on to a new costume and went back to the stage. You performed a couple of songs from your album.
(soft notes playing in background) audience cheering
"I LOVE YOU Y/N!!!" A fan screamed. You smiled. 
"Are you having fun yet?" You listen to the audience scream yes.
"Oh good.. You know you may notice this…"
"Not sure if you  picked up on it yet I'm pretty sure you have, though. Have you noticed that you have a light up bracelet on your wrist?" the whole gallery got lit up as everyone raised their hands. 
"There they are." Crowd cheered. 
"So pretty." 
"Um… but that's not the only thing about them, the reason why I wanted to have those on the tour to make sure no matter what I would see every single one of you in these stadiums. So if you are on the top, top deck, last row and you think I can't see you that would be incorrect. I can see every one of you dancing, throwing your hands up in the air. And the top of that I can hear you… "
"It really seems you guys have memorised every single word to the songs and so not just singing them but like…." 
"Screaming them." 
"If I had to take a guess I would say one thing that probably everybody has in common I think I would say that one thing would be…" 
"That all like the feeling of finding something real like… you know finding real friendships, real love or somebody who really gets you or somebody who is really honest with you." 
"I think.. I think that's what we're really all looking for in life and…" 
"I think the things that can scare us the most in our lives are the things that we think will threaten the prospect of us finding something real. For ex- having a bad reputation in our mind would get in the way of you… Finding real friendship, real love, real acceptance, people you really fit in with because you think to yourself what if they've got the preconceived notion about me that they heard from gossips and rumors." 
You sang Delicate whilst you got up a hydraulic suspended stage. You waved to the crowd taking a tour of the whole stadium in it. As the song ended you were back again on the stage. 
"Allright Cornwall, I… just decided to go… A little exploring around to see… If you guys are having a good time back there." you walked around the stage.
"Are things fun back here? Alright well would you dance with me?! What do you say?!"
“I stay out too late, got nothin' in my brain
That's what people say, mmm hmm, that's what people say, mmm hmm
I go on too many dates, but I can't make 'em stay
At least that's what people say mmm mmm, that's what people say mmm mmm
But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving
It's like I got this music in my mind, sayin' it's gonna be alright
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
I'll never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet
And that's what they don't see mmm mmm, that's what they don't see mmm mmm
I'm dancing on my own (dancing on my own), I'll make the moves up as I go (moves up as I go)
And that's what they don't know mmm mmm, that's what they don't know mmm mmm
But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop grooving
It's like I got this music in my mind saying it's gonna be alright
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate..........
You sang as you climbed up an elevated platform. 
Hey, hey, hey”
“Just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats in the world
You could have been getting down to this sick beat
My ex-man brought his new girlfriend
She's like "Oh my God", but I'm just gonna shake it
And to the fella over there with the hella good hair
Won't you come on over, baby, we can shake, shake, shake, yeah oh”
You were about to do a free fall as the dancers below raised their arms to catch you but you stopped. 
"Nah...No, one second. I don't care if this is a promotional concert, I'm not gonna jump off from here. Sometimes people can get bitten by snakes.. dangerous." The audience laughed. Tom facepalmed laughing at your antics in the back stage. You came down running from the elevated platform panting as you went to the centre and let out a high pitched shriek. 
“Yeeeeaaahhh!!!” 
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate (haters gonna hate me)
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Song fading away. You went for another costume change and came back with your guitar and addressed the crowd. 
"So you guys I was wondering if, um… If it would be all right with you if we just had a…
You were cut off by Joseph who came up to you and handed you a tissue bending down on his knee. 
"Thank you so much…" you took the tissue. "There's a.." 
"I feel like it's important to be honest with you guys. I have a tiny miniscule cold. Do not mind this.. This is just gonna be me blowing my nose. I'm gonna turn around and do it." 
You turned around and blew your nose. Then you hand over the tissue back to Joseph. 
"But I what.. I really think it was all good to take note of how Joseph presented me with the tissue. This is the best thing I have ever seen. Never in my lifetime has anyone presented me a tissue with such commitment."
"Umm so okay guys wanna talk to you about something. I propose the idea that we spend some time with just you and me and the guitar." 
"Is that alright with you?" 
"So one thing that you guys have always been.." 
"Really uh…" 
"Really not just supportive about but you've, um… Cause that sounds like you were understanding of it." 
"You've really encouraged me to experiment with my music and try different things, different sounds, try different instruments. "
"Um… you guys were always the ones pushing me to experiment and grow. And I really appreciate that." 
"Cause…" 
"I have had so much fun, switching up you know, styles of music, genres… um.."
"My relationship with you and how much we interact on social media platforms, at shows or at my house." 
Fans scream
"I am.." you chuckle
"I know from our conversations that you guys are so all about lyrics and all about feeling, all about whatever that the person you listen to is singing about what you happen to be going through, or did go through at some point in time, I.." 
"I think that's kind of all you care about when it comes to a song. So I've always written songs with the lyrics, the feeling and the melody in mind. That no matter whatever it took a turn after production be it pop or acoustic or whatever. I always wanted for a song to be able to be stripped back down and still be something that you liked and wanted to sing at the top of your lungs." 
"So before leaving I wanted to gift you guys something."
"You guys are going to be exclusively listening to an all new song from my upcoming unreleased album." 
The audience roared. 
You started playing the guitar and closed your eyes as you sang. 
“We were in the backseat
Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar
"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"
I say casually in the car
We were a fresh page on the desk
Filling in the blanks as we go
As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead
Leading us home”
You pour your heart out as you sing. 
“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name
And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”
Tom listened to the song carefully as he understood why you said it was a surprise. Because this song tells the story of you, him and the love you share. 
“Windows swung right open, autumn air
Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours
We bless the rains on Cornelia Street
Memorize the creaks in the floor
Back when we were card sharks, playing games
I thought you were leading me on
I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street
Before you even knew I was gone”
The memories of six years ago flashed in front of both of your eyes. The day when all went wrong, the day you parted ways and left. 
“But then you called, showed your hand
I turned around before I hit the tunnel
Sat on the roof, you and I
I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”
You had tears in your eyes. 
“And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name (city screams your name)
Your voice went an octave higher. You want to bid adieu to this place as it only reminds you of him. The memories haunt you.
And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
You hold my hand on the street
Walk me back to that apartment
Years ago, we were just inside
Barefoot in the kitchen
Sacred new beginnings
That became my religion, listen”
You were transported to that time when you were together so in love with each other. Those lazy mornings you wearing one of his sweatshirts sitting on the kitchen counter looking at him making breakfast for you. So domestic it felt as you hoped to wake up to him like this everyday for your lifetime. 
“I hope I never lose you
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
Oh, never again
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name
And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I don't wanna lose you, hope it never ends
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I don't wanna lose you, yeah
"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"
I say casually in the car”
You bowed in front of the audience smiling after the song ended.Tom wiped his tears as he watched you through the monitors in the backstage. 
Fans screamed in excitement. 
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things started playing in the background.
"Thank you so much for an incredible evening and an amazing tour. We love you." 
"Please give it up for the dancers!"
"Make some noise for the singers, Cornwall!"
You bowed
"Give it up for the band!" 
The whole team bowed in gratitude. You walked the lengths of the stage waving at the crowd and blowing air kisses. You ran to the other end waving and giving flying kisses. You went to the centre of the stage and bowed for one last time. As the stage descended, taking you down the stage as you waved goodbye and mouthed to the audience. 
"I love you guys"
As the show ended you went backstage and everyone hugged you and applauded for the marvelous show you put up, someone handed you a bottle of water to drink. But your eyes were searching for only one person and as you caught sight of him you ran to him. Tom was standing at a corner, arms crossed across his chest, smiling his eyes showed how much proud he was of you. You went and hugged him tightly. Tom gave a light peck on your cheek. 
"Darling, that was so good. Didn't know you were such a big star, you literally set the stage on fire." he said cupping your face. 
"Couldn't have done that without you. Thank you Tom. Love you so much. You kissed him on his cheek." Tom couldn't ignore the fact that unknowingly you told him you loved him. 
"Okay I'm going to get changed and join you at the little party the crew has thrown okay." You left. 
But Tom was in no mental condition to enjoy a party, not after listening to your confession. He felt time was slipping out of his hands as he could not hold you back. He straight away went home. 
You went to the hall where the party was arranged, you didn't find Tom there. 
"Hey Maria where's Tom?" 
"He went back" 
"Went back? Why?" 
"Don't know honey, you enjoy the party, this is all for you." You felt something was off. 
"Sorry Maria I need to leave too. You guys enjoy." 
Tom was the first one to return to the house. Others came back a while later. 
"Y/N just nailed it" Paddy chirped. 
"Can we have some dinner now? I'm starving" Tuwaine complained.
Everyone headed towards the kitchen as Harrison's eyes went to Tom. He was standing on the porch. He frowned and made his way towards him. 
"Hey man what's up?! The concert was damn good! Weren't you supposed to be with Y/N for the after party?" Harrison asked. Tom turned his eyes puffy red with tears. 
"Bro what's the matter?"
"Harrison I can't let her go, not this time." Tom sobbed. 
......................................
Taglist:To be added send me an ask I’ll be happy to add you in the following chapters.
@sleepybesson​ @sophs-library​ @spideyparkerstark​ @itstaskeen​ @milli86​ @biebsmylife95​ @quaksonhehe​ @hannahholland1811​ @awhollandx​ @joyleenl​  @greatpizzascissorstaco​ @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe​ @jjandreidsgirl​ @brighterthanthesunx​ @marvelpeters​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @onewithnomightypowers​ @itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpei @astridcommings @hollandprkr​  @hollandsobrien​ @timotayswriter​ @kiki-hines​ @casualprincess77​ @spideyth​ @perspectiveparker​ @thevelvetseries​
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ephemeralgalaxies · 3 years ago
Text
Loki Ep4 Spoilers (again)
TL;DR Mobius is a jealous loner desperate for a connection to heal his own broken self, but for all the crap he gives Loki about not being able to trust others and putting up walls, he's just as terrified of being known and then left behind.
Would just like to take note once again on Mobius refusing to listen to Loki, for once not being able to tell apart (on the surface) what are lies and what's the truth because Loki has done the impossible-- learned to love himself (kinda). For once, this is a part of Loki's life that Mobius doesn't get to witness, and it breaks him. He can't spend weeks analyzing each little tell, it's all right there in the moment. It's a different Loki than he's ever known. Before, in ep1, Mobius knew exactly what to say to get answers out of Loki-- he's studied this. But now? Now Loki is a regular, real person (in a sense... TVA is kinda weird in their "is this technically a part of reality") that went through another traumatic event without Mobius watching alongside. He's scared and doesn't trust himself. He's jumping to conclusions, he's pushing down all his typical questions, coming off harsher, less patience.
And then when he realizes that Loki has learned to care for/love Sylvie (in whatever way that is, this Loki has never truly loved anyone before-- always holding back in fear), it throws out everything he's ever known about Loki out the window. He is changing, not just into someone the TVA can use, but rather into a person of his own. And Mobius doesn't know how to process that immediately, instead resorting to trying to embarrass Loki about his "crush" on Sylvie, lashing out on idea of them forming a romantic relationship because Loki couldn't even form a proper friendship with him (in his mind, especially after Loki leaves the Supermarket with Sylvie in ep2).
He's getting jealous, defensive, angry. The only other time we've seen him remotely this "not-calm" was earlier in ep2 when Hunter B-15 instructs Loki to come with her instead. (my god, he really is just so jealous) (to be fair, though, his closest friend is a lying back-stabber who gives the order to prune him, so... not like this version of Mobius is really in the healthiest environment to begin with...)
And the fact that he just won't let go with that, freaking "I don't need you anymore... or as you might say, 'our interests are no longer aligned.'" Like, I'm sorry but that is a sure petty jab at Loki for choosing Sylvie and this "variant life" over staying and helping him at the TVA (as he's still refusing to believe that they are all variants like Loki/Sylvie say). Especially adding "Yeah, I guess you don't do partners. Unless, of course, it benefits you and you intend to betray them at some point," and "Why? Cause I lied about your 'girlfriend'?"
LIKE SIR. IM TRYING TO MAKE THIS A SERIOUS POST AND IM CRYING WHILE WATCHING BUT I JUST KEEP LAUGHING AT HIS RESPONSES BECAUSE THEY'RE KILLING ME JUST HOW HURT HE IS BECAUSE LOKI FINALLY LEARNED TO LOVE SOMEONE AND HE WASN'T A PART OF IT. BECAUSE LOKI LEFT HIM IN ORDER TO BE "HAPPY", THIS WHOLE JOURNEY FOR MOBIUS-- PROBABLLY HIS BIGGEST CASE --JUST BURNT OUT, ENDING LIKE THAT. ALL HOPES OF "SAVING THE BROKEN THINGS", THAT "SCARED LITTLE BOY SHIVERING IN THE COLD" GONE BECAUSE HE NEVER REALLY NEEDED MOBIUS. BECAUSE LOKI (EVEN SYLVIE) COULD BE HAPPY ON THEIR OWN. THEY DIDN'T NEED TO BE THE VILLAIN, TO CAUSE PAIN AND DESTRUCTION AND DEATH. THEY COULD MAKE THEIR OWN LIVES.
And if they could do that... then how good is the TVA, truly?
So instead, he has to twist this, find some way to be repulsed by Loki's development-- "this kind of sick, twisted romantic relationship" because how dare Mobius, even for a second, think that maybe there is more to this relationship between Loki and Sylvie than an "incredible seismic narcissist" only ever being able to fall in love with himself? To look in the reflection and see beauty-- not in the dagger and what it's bond, it's craft, it's story means, but rather in the image mirrored back through that love. The person loving, not the existence of love itself. That's why it stabs you in the back, that's why the metaphor failed, because at the time, Loki didn't understand real love, romantic, familial, platonic, or self. He cared for his mother, but he failed her-- he lost her. He always pushed her away enough to keep himself safe, never truly feeling it all. But with Sylvie? it's different. Sylvie understands him. Sylvie, in some ways, is him. Of course he has to learn to love her, to appreciate all she has accomplished despite her struggles. He has to love her so that he can understand that he, too, deserves love. If Sylvie, with the same childhood and parents as him, with trauma and blood on her hands like him, that same desperate attempt to be alone in order to save themselves from being abandoned... if he knows she is worthy of love and happiness, then why can't he be as well? Why does he always have to be alone?
And then when Mobius tells him that Sylvie's been pruned, it destroys him-- he's alone again. Because he can never return to his timeline, never have that Ragnarok bond with his brother, be a true Odinson, avenge his mother. Sylvie is dead-- the one person that could possibly love him because she was him and he's a narcissist (in his own words). Mobius no longer believes him, can no longer see through the lies, too blinded by his own rage and fear and pain. Loki, once again, has no one (the fact that you can pinpoint the exact moment he realizes all this too, ep4 23:06, while Mobius continues to brush his warnings aside and rant on Loki and Sylvie).
"Well, I'm gonna have to close this case now, 'cause I don't need you anymore."
And so, he takes one last jab at Mobius--
"Out of all the liars in this place, and there are a great many, you are the biggest."
M: "Why? 'Cause I lied about your girlfriend?" Because I told you she was dead, because you were terrified, because you don't know how to go on without her?
L: "Oh, no. That I can respect." Ofc you would, that's your job, get information out of me. Manipulate me into thinking I can trust you because you don't trust me enough to let me tell you on my own. Because everything I do is out of my own interest. Of course you would lie about that, so would I. "I mean the lies you tell yourself."
You refuse to believe me now, to think that I could care for you as well, that I am capable of more than loving myself or a version of me. That maybe, for once, I'm not just trying to look out for myself. That maybe knowing that you're trapped here after believing you actually had free will, to learn that no one in this universe-- this sick, twisted timeline --actually has free will. Please believe me, please let me help. I didn't give up on Sylvie, I won't give up on you if you just give me time.
Anyways, this episode absolutely destroyed me
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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago
Note
Please, when you get the time, watch “Unpacking RWBY's 'Fair Game' Queerbaiting Controversy”.
Thanks for tuning me into this, anon! I decided to watch instead of going to bed at a decent hour because why would I want a good sleep schedule? XD
Great vid though. For anyone looking for a neat summary of both the in-text coding and the fandom's reaction to everything, this is a good, easily digestible hour to get all that. Something that struck me and that I wanted to expand on a little bit is acknowledging the malleable nature of our terms like "queerbaiting" and "bury your gays." "Queerbaiting" evolved during a time when many characters' queerness was being kept to coding and coding alone. That was the point. The possibility of that being a confirmed part of their identity was never on the table, generating our frustration, yes, but also making it pretty easy to spot and define this phenomenon. We knew queerbaiting when we saw it. Yet as queer rep has progressed, by inches as opposed to miles, the use of that term gets... messier. Supernatural is, currently, the perfect example of this. Is it still queerbaiting if one half of the pairing admits their attraction, but the other never responds? And if we're uncertain about the authenticity of the queer rep, can it really be bury your gays? Bury your gays is (mostly) built on explicit queer rep. You can't bury your gay character unless you've got one to begin with, yet situations like Dean/Cas blur both lines. Back when we developed these terms, we weren't imagining situations where creators would go part of the way and then pull back. Queerbaiting made sense a decade ago. They coded their characters, maybe talked up the relationship in a joking manner, but there was never any chance of it coming to fruition. We know how to be mad about that. But one character coming out while the other watches him die and then seems entirely unfazed by his passing only to then die too? In the finale? What the hell do we make of that?
These are the confusing, murky waters that Fair Game is swimming through. It has received accusations of both queerbaiting and bury your gays, yet according to generalized knowledge of the definitions, they can't both exist. You either didn't provide queer representation, or you had queer representation to kill off. And yet, Fair Game does manage to edge into both territories, with the added complications of the media hype and ongoing debates about the status of Blake/Yang. If Blake bashfully looking away at Yang's compliment equals queer rep - and a very large chunk of the fandom considers the coding we've gotten thus far to be "canon" - then it should mean the same thing when Qrow looks bashfully away at Clover's comment. Either that coding is enough to signal queer representation and RWBY thus killed off a queer character in the form of Clover, or it's not enough to signal queer representation (you're reading into things) and the Blake/Yang dynamic remains in a state of potential queerbaiting. It's a lose-lose any way you slice it, yet anger tends to turn more towards other members of the RWBY community for using the "wrong" terminology rather than simply expecting better of the creators. No one should be having years-long debates over how queer or not two characters appear on screen. At this point we should just have queer characters, no guesswork needed.
Frankly, I don't think there is an easy way to fix the miscommunication going on here, so I suppose my only point right now is to be aware of it. These terms have never had rigid definitions - "queerbaiting," as the vid's author points out, is particularly complicated, but "bury your gays" runs into problems with canons that deal with the afterlife and resurrection. If Penny were to have been written as queer, would it be "bury your gays" to kill her and then bring her back? - but these terms have become even more complex than their original creators could have ever imagined. The popularity of social media and this inching towards better representation has resulted in situations that simply do not fit our previously neat ideas of these issues. But that doesn't mean there's still not a problem at play. When people use "queerbaiting" or "bury your gays" to describe Fair Game yes, there may be differences between this situation and the examples on which those terms were created, but the fact that we don't yet have new terminology to describe these complex situations doesn't mean there's nothing for queer fans to be upset over. We don't really have a term yet for, "There was definitely coding for those who spotted it, but pretty subtle coding for a time when there is a lot of overt queer rep in our media, including the same show (queerbaiting often accompanies no other queer rep at all) and the creators teased it, but many of them were no longer officially connected to the show, and then the character was horrifically killed off, but can you bury your gay when you didn't confirm him gay in this first place?" That's a particularly awful paradox we don't have a catchy phrase for yet. But the answer here isn't to dismiss all these new situations with, "Well, it doesn't fit my exact definition, so it's not a problem" but rather to expand our vocabulary. As a community we need ways to describe these new cases we're seeing, not dismiss them because they don't perfectly align with what we came up with years ago.
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ineloqueent · 4 years ago
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hi tina 💞 not sure how easy this is, since my astrophysics knowledge is nearing -273 *C, but you could do mutuals as astronomical sights? comets, planets, galaxies etc... sorry if not!! 💖✨
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anna! and anon! you’ve given me a wonderful chance to ramble about space. you may come to regret it, however...
if i’ve forgotten you, please do not take it personally! i didn’t mean to. my mind is just but a glorified puddle :)
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@archaicmusings — vega
vega is the brightest star in the constellation lyra, and happens to be my favourite star. don’t ask me why vega is my favourite star, or why lyra is my favourite constellation, because i haven’t got a coherent answer for you. i’ve just always been drawn to them. a bit like cal, really. i feel like we’ve known each other for far longer than just four months, and she’s so lovely that i’m fairly sure i could say anything to her and she’d just accept me for whatever rubbish i’m rambling about this time. and, in the depressing year that’s been 2020, cal has been a bright star.
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@drivenbybri — halley’s comet
honestly, is there anything more iconic than halley’s comet? there can’t be much. probably the best known comet of all time, halley’s comet is a short-period comet (and if you’ve read starstruck, you know how much i prefer short-period comets to those long-period comets with their damned 200-year perihelions, even if certain people suggest that this makes them quite special), meaning that it is visible from earth every 75-ish years. halley’s comet last made an appearance in the lovely year of 1986, and will thus appear next in 2061 (i’m so excited for my 59-year-old self!!!). halley’s comet, though well-known, is still a rare breed, so to speak. it is rare, and extraordinarily beautiful that a comet appears to a human twice within their lifetime. sofie is rare, just like halley’s comet, and equally beautiful, both in heart and with that lovely curly hair of hers. i’m honoured to know her, just as i shall be honoured to see halley’s comet one day.
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@brianmays-hair — cassiopeia a
cassiopeia a (or rather, the remnant of cassiopeia a) was a supernova within the constellation of cassiopeia. for those of you who do not obsess over interstellar matter the way that i do, supernovae are explosions of massive stars, or white dwarfs drawn to nuclear fusion, within their final stages of life. not much is known about how these explosions necessarily take place, and nasa has only caught on video one such explosion, back in 2016. the most commonly presented image of the remnant of cassiopeia a is a false-colour image, composed with three different wavebands of light. it is, as you can see, very beautiful. supernovae radiate energy and light throughout the cosmos during their existence, and thus having a great effect on the space surrounding them. i therefore liken jess to cassiopeia a because she has a brilliant personality, vibrant and inspiring, which comes across especially in her writing. but of course, the beauty of cassiopeia a has nothing on her.
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@deacyblues — sirius
as far as we humans and the scientists among us know, sirius is the brightest star in the observable universe. housed within the constellation of canis major, sirius has always been monumentally important in terms of navigation, since ancient times. i tell pearl this all the time, but truly, i mean it; her outlook on life is inspiring, how she never fails to be positive even in times of great trouble. like sirius, pearl is a light, ever-present within the mindset of living for today, ever-determined, and unfailingly kind.
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@joemazzmatazz — black hole
please let me explain before this gets taken the wrong way: I LOVE BLACK HOLES. i specifically want to study black holes, whenever i get the chance to specialise within astrophysics. they fascinate me to no end, with a kind of allure that only the mysterious can hold. furthermore, black holes may be the key to understanding the universe; if we understand black holes, we will be able to make headway on other matter, such as dark matter, and dark energy, the latter of which makes up the majority of the observable universe, and will lead us to astronomical (if you’ll pardon the ill-worded expression, and the unintentional pun) conclusions concerning both the beginning of our universe, and the eventual end. regan, just like a black hole, is a wealth of information, especially concerning the knowledge she harbours about disney, and the business management sector of it. it’s quite truly inspirational.
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@im-an-adult-ish — the milky way
ah yes, the milky way. home to all of us. and that is the essence of my explanation here. meredith has such a friendly way about her, and she’s the kind of person you can easily turn to and feel welcomed. a bit like our little corner of the universe <3
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@almightygwil — the sun
i think this is probably self-explanatory, if a bit repetitive, but ellie is a ray of sunshine. but perhaps that sells her a little short, because ellie is just so genuinely lovely that she must herself be the sun. her writing talent astounds me (you could say it blinds me, ha ha), and she never fails to be somehow both sweet and very chaotic at the same time. it’s very admirable (and certainly relatable, on the chaotic front). the sun itself, if we think about the surface and the fusion that takes place there, is both the sweetest sight ever seen, and quite chaotic, so i think it fitting that ellie is the sun.
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@hijackmy-heart — callisto
callisto is one of jupiter’s moons, and my favourite, because it looks like a piece of the night sky decided to curl up into a ball. i don’t know nat too well, but i know that she’s gorgeous, like callisto, and loves roger taylor. let me explain. jupiter, in roman mythology, is the god of the sky and of thunder. in norse mythology, thor is the equivalent of jupiter, and to me, roger has always had a bit of that typical scandinavian look going, with the blonde hair and blue eyes (not to say that all scandis look like this, but he fits the stereotype :)). nat loves roger, and callisto orbits jupiter, so there you have it.
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@six-bloodyminutes — the moon
the moon has a serenity about it, and mo has a knack for telling quite wild things with a most casual air. for instance, according to my sources, when a certain dorm room caught fire (?). mo thus bears this serenity, akin to the serenity i associate with the moon, with equal grace and chaos.
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@dancingdiscofloof — pluto
pluto! the not-planet-oh-wait-maybe-it’s-a-planet-jk-jk-unless..? i still think that pluto should be considered a planet, despite the many arguments against the poor sod. pluto was once a planet, and should therefore have remained a planet, for the plain and simple fact that taking away its planethood was like giving a person a present, and then taking it back immediately afterward. anyway. i’m rambling. i also do not know rove very well, but i know that she’s kind, and, judging by the memes she shares, both of ryan gosling and tom hanks, that she is quirky— a bit like our beloved pluto.
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@imcompletelylost — aurora borealis/aurora australis
also known as the northern lights/the southern lights, the polar lights, the merry dancers, the fox fires, or swarms of luminous herring (you can thank my ancestors, followers of norse mythology, for that one), the aurora is an astronomical phenomenon precipitated by the complete ring of light surrounding the poles, “which at its brightest has a distinctively green tint” (may, brian, et al. the cosmic tourist. carlton books, 2016.). yes i just made a citation from one of brian’s books. don’t worry about it. anyway, particles emitted from our sun are caught by the magnetic fields of earth’s poles, and thus produce this ethereal effect. but you know what the aurora has always reminded me of? disco lights. and libby is noting if not the queen of disco. oh, and, libby’s makeup talents? the aurora could never.
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@aprilaady — butterfly nebula
the butterfly nebula is incredibly beautiful. but also, depending on from which angle it is beheld, it looks quite different. dor will surprise you, in the loveliest way possible (and sometimes the funniest) with a kind word or a joke, or even just a relatable comment. she has so many talents, being rivetingly smart within so many fields, especially the sciences, and in this, conveys multitudes, like the butterfly nebula. one might say her soul is painted like the wings of butterflies...
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@doing-albri — solar eclipse
the alignment of the sun, moon, and earth. difficult to see, especially in totality, if you continually live in the same place. but there’s something magical in that alignment, i think. something quite poetic. it’s partially in the name ‘eclipse’ and partially in the nickname— a “ring of fire.” i saw the solar eclipse in august of 2018, and looking up at it, i was quite awestruck. you’re not supposed to stare directly at solar eclipses, because despite the moon overshadowing the sun, you can still damage your eyes significantly by looking at them. vi is so bright, both in her attitude and in her intelligence, and thus i’ve chosen the solar eclipse for her. also, when a solar eclipse occurs, using a piece of cardboard with a hole (or generally any thick-radius circular object with an opening), you can recreate the phenomenon on another surface, resulting in beautiful patterns and light-art, which i think speaks to vi’s eye for aesthetics.
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@imalososos — meteor shower
meteor showers are perhaps some of the most beautiful phenomena i have ever seen. back in the summer of 2016, i stayed up all night to watch the perseids rush across the sky, and i was not disappointed, by any means. within the early hours of the 12th of august, an estimated 80 meteors darted across the heavens each hour. meteors, in essence, are clusters of mineral, usually debris from comets, which enter the atmosphere of a planet, and thus seem to shoot across the sky. now, you may be wondering, what’s the bloody blooming difference between meteoroids, meteors, and meteorites, and why are we talking about meteors in particular? well, meteoroids are cosmic debris that have not yet entered an atmosphere; as soon as a piece of cosmic debris enters a planet’s atmosphere, it is classified as a meteor. as for meteorites, nothing is a meteorite unless it strikes the ground. anyway. you didn’t come here for my science ramblings. meteors are also called ‘shooting stars,’ and let’s be honest, they’re space’s idea of art. streaks of light across the sky? sounds like a painting to me, and darya, among many other things, is an artist— and a brilliant one, at that. so i think it very fitting to describe her as the art of the universe <3
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@mazzell-ro — saturn
i! love! saturn!!! being the only planet in our solar system with highly visible rings, it just stands out to me. it’s absolutely gorgeous, and an object of much inspiration to me, when i was little and decided that space was absolutely something i wanted to see. i could write an eight-verse song about saturn, i love it so much, and honestly, i think ro could write one too; she’s an excellent musician. but aside from its lovely rings, saturn is unique because its composition, in the ratio of its gases, would allow the planet to float in water. ro is uniquely wonderful, and her writing!!!!!!!! makes me so soft and happy and makes me want to give her the word. quite how i feel when i look up at saturn.
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@mistiermistshazierdays — zodiacal light
you may recognise this term as brian’s speciality from when he was studying astrophysics. but what is it? zodiacal light is that strange triangle of light that appears glowing in the sky after twilight and before dawn, and is the subject of much earth-based astrophotography. extraordinarily beautiful, scientists are still not entirely sure what the phenomenon is, but most research and practical experiments are in favour of zodiacal light being sunlight reflected off of cosmic dust (also known as stardust!). now, if my knowledge of ancient greece and its mythology serves me, the name phoebe comes from phoebus, and (thank you google) means ‘bright.’ zodical light… bright… phoebe… you might say it’s a match made in the heavens. quite literally if we’re talking space. phoebe, you kind soul, you are stardust.
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@speciallyred — andromeda galaxy
and last, but certainly not least, dear anna. i name thee the andromeda galaxy, partially for your own name, and partially for its poetic beauty. andromeda, the neighbour galaxy of our deal ol’ milky way, is actually about 2.5 million lightyears (15 trillion miles, 22.5 trillion km) away from us, here on earth. call me vain for the number of times i’ve described the beauty of space throughout this rather extended exposition, but andromeda is startlingly beautiful. one reason for this objective beauty is that andromeda is estimated to be home to roughly double the number of stars within our own galaxy. anna is one of the most talented poets i have ever come across, hands down, and what be the food of poetry, if not the stars?
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whateverafterhigh · 4 years ago
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Worldbuilding Succession Systems: Goodfallow
Most of what we see or hear when it comes to the succession systems in the universe that Ever After High is set in relates to fairytales and the inheritance of specific character roles. Many of the fairytale royalty are born into their royal bloodlines or otherwise marry in. But there are some kingdoms where things aren’t as easy as that. One such kingdom is the Good King’s Kingdom – which I named Goodfallow in another post.
The Good King is a fairytale character, but his role in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is small. In fact, depending on the adaption of the story you read he might have already died by the time the story has officially begun. He’s not quite dead yet in the series, seeing as he’s still raising Raven Queen, but it is never acknowledged that Raven is in line for the throne. Not even as a “Hey, maybe Raven has her dad’s destiny…” kind of way, which you would expect given Raven is constantly fighting for any destiny other than her mother’s. Going that route might seem like too easy a fix to acknowledge in the series, especially early on, no matter how powerful a red herring that would be for the readers. It could have even been used to make Grimm start to worry on whether or not he actually guessed right when it comes to writing the fake book. Grimm doubting himself would have been great, even more so if it’s a big thing to have forgotten that the Good King needs an heir too.
The potential for drama aside, there must have been something else that made everyone think they were right so conclusively (and I’m not speaking of the gendered characters, there are too many female characters who have their father’s destinies for that to be the reason).
Then I had an idea.
The Goodfallow Crown
I wanted to create a succession system for Goodfallow that would be able to stand up to the Storybook of Legends on something akin to even ground. Obviously, I didn’t want it to have such a grand scale. But I knew I wanted something magical, and I knew I wanted it to be possible that the Storybook of Legends (the original) could guess wrong. (I mean what even is the point of having an antagonist as powerful and insufferable as Headmaster Grimm if he wasn’t able to grasp at some straws to save face and avoid even the harshest of punishments?). Still I wanted Grimm to be arrogant enough that he wouldn’t have worried about Raven’s position as the Evil Queen until she was throwing the book in his face on Legacy Day.
This meant I needed something with so many possibilities that something like the Storybook of Legends would have a hard time even coming up with the most likely outcome for the Next Good King. Something that could be affected up until the moment that the Good King has been crowned. And something that had the magical power to break the magical contract to the Storybook of Legends that signing it would create without extensive repercussions – something that would cause a page to fall out on its own if need be.
Also it needed to be something that played into what a Good King should be, it is what is choosing the reigning monarch after all.
In Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the Evil Queen is defined by her attitude and treatment of the kingdom’s people, so it only makes sense that the Good King be defined in the same way. So I played with the idea of the Good King being an elected position that passed down the bloodline out of convenience and all the things that real life kings and queens have to do to make sure that the people don’t start up a revolution. Something like the Sword in the Stone from King Arthur’s legends could do that, the same could be said for Thor’s Hammer (though I wasn’t actually thinking of Mjolnir when spider-mapping ideas).
I couldn’t see it being an actual sword, as cool as it would be for the Good King to actually have the kingdom’s blessing of sorts to raise his sword at those who wronged him. And after reading the fairytale Prince Darling, where there is a ring that pricks the young Prince on the finger every time he does something wrong in hopes that it will make him into a good person, I thought of using a crown.
The Goodfallow Crown, named such because it is the physical manifestation of the collective will of all the citizens of Goodfallow ticks a lot of the boxes for what I wanted.
It’s magic, powerful enough to break the bindings created by the Storybook of Legends because I’m the author and I say so. A lot of citizens in Goodfallow mean a lot of different possibilities for whether or not they think a candidate is the best for the Good King. It can still be meddled with before the inheritance ceremony, popularity and propaganda are going to be important – the same goes for whether or not a candidate knows what they’re doing. In turn this could be what makes Grimm so arrogant in his assertions that Raven will have her mother’s destiny.
The students at Ever After High are shown to be scared of Raven to the point they scream and run away from her. At the start of the books she assumes that this is just a side effect from her destiny as her mother had mentioned that something of the sort would happen when she reached a certain age. But it could be argued that this has more to do with how bullying of Raven (or any supposedly-evil-aligned character) was encouraged by Grimm or other members of the faculty, high tensions from how close Legacy Day is for her etc. Because Raven does get more popular as the books go on, and because the characters act a similar way in the beginning of the show’s canon it could be argued that she get’s popular enough to win Thronecoming.
But it’s not just Raven’s lack of popularity. Grimm makes all the final class decisions when it comes to what subject’s students can take, so he can ensure that Raven never takes classes that would prepare her for being the Good King (Kingdom Management, Throne Economics, etc…) and then there’s the low possibility that the people of Goodfallow would accept someone who willingly signs up to potentially marry the king of a neighbouring country, abuse their power, and even get arrested or die before having kids as their Ruler. This is one case where the Storybook of Legends doesn’t need to be real for the damage to be done. And Grimm has no reason to not be arrogant about his guesses until Legacy Day where Raven declares she wants to write her own destiny on the in-verse equivalent of international television he’s not going to worry too much.
The tangent into Grimm’s motives and assumptions show that having Goodfallow’s succession system be like this will only add another layer to some of the things going on in the series, and this can even be applied to other characters too. Raven would have grown up in a kingdom where your actions mean more then what you say, so even agreeing to sign the Storybook of Legends and live her own life after would have not been in the cards for her (not to mention it would cheapen Apple’s own story if she asked that of Raven), and Queen White would have also grown up in Goodfallow given the Good King is her father as well, and that could add a really interesting layer to her own character and her obsession with popularity. Especially in the context of the Class of Classics comic which shows that Snow was once a studious student like Apple was but has now seemingly forgone that in favour of focusing on popularity (which is the same in the books as well as Dragon Games). It certainly speaks of there being more to her character then what we’ve gotten.
Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how the Good Fallow Crown works.
It seems a bit much to have someone attempt to wear the crown for the first time on their coronation, and I’m also understanding of the fact that it’s technically headwear and therefore can’t get heavier if the kingdom seems to disagree with an idea or something else – also Goodfallow isn’t a hivemind? So there would need to be some kind of inheritance test. Perhaps for officially declaring a Crown Prince or Princess.
Historically, Crown Princes or Princesses seem to given the title when they are ready for it. With the announcement happening sometime between the ages of fourteen and eighteen, unless their parents were dead, and they were ruling through a Regent. Raven is fifteen when Legacy Day takes place so sixteen seems like a more reasonable time for the ceremony to happen. Though obviously some of the kingdoms would name their children the Crown Prince or Princess earlier (I’m thinking Briar and Hopper might have been given their titles when their Magic Touch developed, given its significance to their stories).
So the sixteen year old heir would try the crown on. It would be impractical for the circle of people who can hold or lift the crown to be small a la Thor’s Hammer, especially when it’s the literal Will of the People. So, magical girl transformation?
Very basic, plain clothes are to be worn with no jewellery – because you might lose it otherwise. If the people agree with the Prince or Princess being a good candidate for the throne then they’ll get decked out in finery when the magic is a match. If not then there’s no change. (Not that that prevents rumours from spreading to the contrary).
“Rumour has it the Evil Queen tried to wear the crown once and it set her on fire.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, that’s why her hair is like that now.”
Of course, the changes don’t stop at the Inheritance Ceremony. Just because the Goodfallow Crown doesn’t get infinitely heavier when the Good King does something the people don’t agree with that doesn’t mean that nothing happens. Raven’s dad is described as being bald in the books, and I like to think that the reason for that is the people of Goodfallow not agreeing with him marrying the Evil Queen, while still understanding why he did it. But there would likely be other affects as well. Such as increased stress, anxiety, paranoia, etc. Maybe a lack of motivation in his day to day life? I don’t know, but the Goodfallow Crown does take the phrase “Heavy is the head that wears the crown” to a whole new meaning.
I love the whole thought of this, as evidenced by the fact it takes up almost three whole pages in a Word Document. Definitely one of my favourite pieces of worldbuilding I’ve done for any fandom ever.
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adobe-outdesign · 4 years ago
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There are too many yellow bears in this series.
Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/the_black_box
Transcript under the cut.
So in Part 1, I mentioned how it was weird that I talked about the identity of the Brother and then skipped directly to the box. So let’s remedy that and talk about the identity of…
[Who is Golden Freddy?]
Sike.
No but seriously, we do need to discuss Golden Freddy before we discuss the Brother’s identity. Trust me, I’m going somewhere with this.
So Withered Golden Freddy is super easy - he’s the fifth child. We literally see this in Give Gifts. Some people think the fifth child is Cassidy, I personally think it’s Michael Brooks because his name aligns with the night guard’s names on the tombstones, it does not matter, all we need to know is that he’s the fifth child. Enjoy that, it was the only easy part of this theory.
Side note: Shadow Freddy seems to merely be a different form of Golden Freddy. In TTO, Shadow Freddy leads Charlie’s friends to her, and Michael, IE Golden Freddy, is the only one who has a reason to do that as he was her friend. And in canon, Shadow Freddy likely doesn’t show up for the fifth child in FNAF 3 not because he isn’t possessing something, but because said child is Shadow Freddy.
Continuing on, Fredbear - the one with the purple accessories - is likely Sammy, which I went over in the last video. This includes Nightmare Fredbear, the yellow bear in Happiest Day, Fredbear in UCN, etc. He’s also Nightmare, who is to Nightmare Fredbear what Shadow Freddy is to Golden Freddy; the instigator of bad events and the eventual outcome of death. Note that just as Fredbear has different colored accessories compared to Golden Freddy, Nightmare has different colored accessories compared to Shadow Freddy. They’re parallels, but they’re not the same.
But then we get to FNAF 1 Golden Freddy, and FNAF 1 Golden Freddy is… weird.
The most obvious answer would be that he’s the fifth child, but that doesn’t line up with what we established in the last video - the fifth child should no longer actively be haunting the place by FNAF 1, same as the other kids. Even if you want to argue that theory is wrong, there are some other things that don’t make sense; for example, FNAF 2 Golden Freddy is hyper-aggressive while FNAF 1 Golden Freddy is barely around. Likewise, FNAF 1 Golden Freddy seems to be purely a hallucination as you can’t adjust his AI, while Withered Golden Freddy is a physical suit you can tamper with.
FNAF 1 Golden Freddy also has a connection to both bites - both in the 1987 Easter Egg and the fact that he looks exactly like Fredbear as shown in UCN. Plus the poster that summons him occasionally switches to one of Freddy casually tearing off his own frontal lobe, and Stage 01 shows him giving cake to kid with a Foxy mask. The fifth child has nothing to do with either bite, so these connections do not make sense.
The second option would be that he’s Sammy, as he might be the other main 5 animatronics, but that… doesn’t quite add up. First, that would mean that in FNAF 3 he gave cake to… himself, seeing as all the pieces are him. Secondly, he wasn’t around in 1987 so that Easter Egg makes no sense, unless the general connection to a bite is enough for him. Thirdly, there is no Nightmare equivalent in this game (or Shadow Freddy, for that matter). And finally, the big one - if Scott intended Sammy to be Golden Freddy, then he would’ve left FNAF 4 Fredbear’s accessories black. The switch to purple is to differentiate the two, which doesn’t make sense if they’re one in the same.
But you know what’s really strange about FNAF 1 Golden Freddy aside from, like, everything? The IT’S ME hallucinations are connected to him… and him alone. No matter what the game, spinoff, or sequel, FNAF 1 Golden Freddy and FNAF 1 Golden Freddy alone makes these hallucinations.
Because of this, I feel like in order to solve who FNAF 1 Golden Freddy is, we need to solve the IT’S ME hallucinations first. And in order to do that, we have to go back to when they started appearing, which is not in FNAF 1 as you might expect, but in FNAF 2. The FNAF 2 cutscenes show the FNAF 1 location and, as far as we know, are the earliest instances of these hallucinations.
First, we see Freddy’s “error” message, which is later replaced with the “IT’S ME” line. This is why I believe these cutscenes are the origin of the phrase, as it starts showing up only after the first night. It also shows up before and after Golden Freddy appears, so it doesn’t appear to be tied to him here.
The other reason I believe this to be the origin is the hallucinations that accompany the IT’S ME message, one of which is an eyeless Bonnie - which appears in the Night 3 cutscene. And the other image? Consider how the animatronics behave towards you here - Bonnie and Chica eventually turn away, while the Puppet follows you. This matches the FNAF 2 gameplay when you put on the mask - Bonnie and Chica are fooled by it while the Puppet is not.
I’ll be honest, I never liked that puppet thing. It’s always…thinking, and it can go anywhere. I don’t think the Freddy mask will fool it.
Combine this with the strange blurred look and the fact that this is labeled as “dream” in the files, and it’s likely this isn’t reality, nor is this literally Freddy. Rather, we’re playing as someone picturing themselves as Freddy - which is why we see the Freddy with human eyes. These images accompany the IT’S ME hallucination because this is where said hallucination started.
Now, remember our requirements for the Brother earlier. They must be someone who worked in the FNAF 1 location, and we know that they worked in more than one Freddy’s as well. We also know that this person is not Michael Afton.
We know that whoever we play as in these cutscenes knows how the animatronics behave in 2, and this cutscene takes place in 1′s location. This indicates the player character moved from the FNAF 2 location to the FNAF 1 location, which fits the requirements for the Brother. This indicates that the person creating the IT’S ME hallucinations is the Brother - which in turns means that the Brother has to be FNAF 1 Golden Freddy.
But what else can we learn about him? Well for starters, we also see the Puppet, the one who gives life, right before the cutscenes stop on Night 4, despite the main gameplay continuing for several more nights. We see the Golden Freddy suit right before that, so that might be the suit that the player character is possessing - note that he does not have pupils yet like in FNAF 1. This indicates that the Brother died and was given life in the FNAF 1 location, further narrowing our requirements. And the Freddy with human eyes hallucination looks suspiciously like someone who was stuffed into a Freddy suit. See where I’m going with this?
Our final piece of evidence that links this all together is that Golden Freddy has a connection to both ‘87 and ‘83, yet is not Sammy. You see, when people ask “who did the Bite of ‘87?”, they’re asking the wrong question. Which animatronic did the Bite matters very little. What we need to know is who caused the Bite. The animatronics, including Fredbear himself, ask “was it me?” in the teasers, indicating the IT’S ME might be a response to this question. It’s not the animatronic that matters - it’s the person.
Phone Guy worked in the FNAF 2 location, and knows how the animatronics worked. He moved to the FNAF 1 location and recorded his phone calls before being stuffed into a suit on Night 4, the same number of nights the FNAF 2 cutscenes run for. And Phone Guy… is the one who tells Jeremy to wear his uniform and stick close the animatronics, after it was established they weren’t acting right around adults. In FNAF 1, after Phone Guy’s death, the first instance of Golden Freddy we can confirm… happens to land on the anniversary date of the Bite of ‘87.
Phone Guy caused the Bite of ‘87… and the Bite of ‘83. Phone Guy is the Brother.
[Why Phone Guy Being the Brother Makes Sense, Actually]
It may sound crazy at first, but Phone Guy being the Brother and FNAF 1 Golden Freddy is what suddenly makes this seemingly almost random series of events come together into a coherent story. So, without further adieu, let’s summarize the plot of FNAF.
We start with William kidnapping and killing Charlie. This then traumatized Sammy, which in turn caused his older brother to bully him and eventually kill him by accident. Wracked with guilt, the brother took the plushies that Sammy possessed and tried to stitch them together into one, then locked them into a box and tried to repress his memories of the incident.
William then kidnapped the Brother, leading to the events of FNAF 4 with Sammy trying to kill him. The Brother eventually escapes but never opens the box and faces the truth, instead eventually picking up a job at Freddy’s. Five kids are killed at that location and possess the pre-Withereds. William kills another five for their remnant in 2 before being moved to the day shift. The Brother, now known as Phone Guy, accidentally causes another Bite to happen. This and the murders drive him to take up the night shift. William, meanwhile, is killed by the kids and sealed away, and the original five rest while Sammy takes their place.
Phone Guy works there for years before Sammy finally succeeds in killing him near the anniversary of the Bite of ‘87. He then becomes FNAF 1 Golden Freddy, who’s basically a representation of his guilt over the Bite - keep in mind that he never did open the box, which Scott described as “fitting”. The FNAF 1 location eventually shuts down, Fazbear’s Fright opens, and Sammy and Charlie are both freed. Some, uh, stuff happens with Michael, and eventually the other five kids are put to rest as well and William is killed off for good.
Rising action, climax, resolution, ect. - FNAF suddenly has a plot, with all of the proper elements and everything. Scott's “four games, one story” hint suddenly makes a lot more sense, doesn’t it?
Oh, and if the general plot of “Guy works five nights at a pizzeria before his younger sibling, possessing multiple animatronics, kills him and turns him into an empty suit” sounds familiar… well, that’s because it’s the plot of Sister Location. Back during TSE’s release Scott said the books were an AU because the original plotline just had too much stuff in it to write any more stories, but then turned around and released SL and FFPS. I think he realized that by just paralleling the same narrative but switching the focus from the Emilys to the Aftons, he could create a lot more stories.
So, okay. All of that makes sense from a story perspective, but what about a theory perspective? What evidence is there to support Phone Guy being both Golden Freddy and the Brother? Well, there’s… a lot, actually. So much so, in fact, that we’re going to speedrun it.
“Well, I think that’s it. Uh, you should be golden.”
Also, the numbers you’re punching in are the hex code of William’s “Save them” sprite backwards, which might be a nod to the “Phone Guy is the killer” theory. It was still popular at the time, so the number being backwards might indicate it was wrong - because Phone Guy isn’t William, he’s Golden Freddy
“Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I’m finishing up my last week now as a matter of fact.”
While I have heard some evidence against the idea of Phone Guy being the Brother, most of it seems inconsequential. Here’s a quick run-down:
Phone Guy sounds too old to be the Brother - Scott’s not a professional voice actor, and he never intended there to be more games after 1 upon release. Also, Phone Guy’s voice actually does get lower in pitch over time (compare his voice in FNAF 3 vs FNAF 1). If this was a professional voice actor Scott chose out later in the series this would be valid, but as is it’s a bit too nitpicky in my opinion.
Phone Guy is too old to be the Brother - Assuming Phone Guy started working in Freddy’s in ‘85, then that puts him at two years after the Bite. If he was 16 at the time of the bite, he’d be 18 in ‘85, old enough to get the job. Even if he was 14 plenty of jobs will hire 16 year olds depending on the state’s labor laws.
His line about Fredbear’s in 2 doesn’t make sense - The “previous owner” he mentions is probably not Henry, who would be his father if he was the Brother, but rather William. Keep in mind this is after the murders, so I don’t know why they’d be contacting Henry at this point. Some people also think that the location of the Bite of ‘83 was Fredbear’s, making it weird that the Brother wouldn’t be 100% sure of its name, but the token in Help Wanted confirms that that location was the first Freddy’s.
So yeah, that’s quite a bit of evidence. But in addition to everything else, I’d also like to discuss this theory relative to UCN.
[How This Ties Back Into Ultimate Custom Night]
You see, UCN has two major theories going for it: One is Willhell, one is Mikehell, and one is my personal favorite, the Theoriest’s Hell.
[Please Stand By]
One is Willhell and the other is Mikehell. The problem with both of these theories however is that neither of them… work, or at least work as well as we would all like them to. Let’s recap:
Willhell is the more solid of the two, as it makes more logical sense and more of the dialogue fits Will better than Michael. However, it is not without a few problems.
The biggest issue is Malhare’s appearance in FFPS, as it’s a bit hard for William to show up after UCN if he’s supposed to be in Hell. There are also a few other things; for example, the Puppet claims she doesn’t hate him which is a bit odd. Not to mention the emphasis on “the one”, which seems weird considering WIlliam has killed multiple kids. Fredbear can also insta-kill you and Golden Freddy shows up at the end of the game, so there’s some sort of significance to those two characters and the Bite here, which also doesn’t tie back to Will.
Mikehell fixes this by claiming Michael is the Brother; thus, “the one” is the Bitten Child and the connections to the Bite suddenly have an explanation. However, this theory has holes of its own - namely, that FFPS kind of sort of directly states that Michael isn’t going to Hell.
For most of you, I believe there is peace, and perhaps more, waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although for one of you, the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don’t keep the devil waiting, old friend.
If “one of you” refers to William and there’s peace waiting for the others, than that means that Michael is going to be at peace after FFPS, which doesn’t make sense for Scott to have brought attention to if he’s the protag of UCN.
This one also doesn’t make sense from a character standpoint. Even if Michael was the Brother - and I already went over why I think he’s not in the first part - he already more than repented for his sins by dying while freeing Elizabeth.
And finally, the “leave the demons to his demons” scene also doesn’t make much sense here - Michael killed his brother accidentally, so “demon” is too harsh. He could be the Freddy sprite and the text is referring to Will, but… why would he be Freddy, aside from that being the sprite in OMC’s original appearance?
So with neither of these theories working perfectly, I’d like to suggest a third option: Brotherhell. Basically it’s the same thing as Mikehell, but without the Mike.
This immediately fixes most of the issues with Mikehell. The Brother never opened the box from 4 or really even came to terms with what he did, so him being punished makes sense in this context. “The One” is Sammy, who 4 already proved to be very vengeful towards his brother. This would explain why Fredbear can insta-kill you, as he and The One are the same.
The Puppet saying she doesn’t fear him anymore, but also doesn’t hate him? Assuming he used to scare Charlie like he did Sammy, he would indeed not scare her anymore without her truly hating him. And the scene with OMC? The Brother is Freddy in that scene because he became Golden Freddy when he died. And that’s why you see Golden Freddy at the end - he’s not only the player character, but a representation of the Brother’s guilt as well. Note that while the Bitten Child passed on in 3 and the original 5 and Elizabeth passed on in FFPS, no one ever actually freed the Brother.
The only snag I can think of with this interpretation is Orville’s one line:
He tried to release you. He tried to release us. But I’m not going to let that happen. I will hold you here. I will keep you here. No matter how many times they burn us. (They burn us).
However, one could argue this refers to the fire in FNAF 3, rather than the one in FFPS. Henry (the player character in 3) tried to burn everything and release the Brother, Sammy and Charlie. Whether or not this works is a bit ambiguous, but it at least has less problems regardless than Willhell or Mikehell.
[So is any of this right?]
Now that we’ve finally covered the entire lore - or at least the most confusing bits - it’s time to ask the important questions, like “was any of that even correct”? And the answer is… I dunno. No, really. I could’ve been wrong from the start and Michael is the Brother and none of this meant anything and I just wasted nearly an hour of your time talking about all of this. And given that Scott seems sort of, uh, completely terrified of fan backlash, we probably won’t be getting any definitive answers anytime soon.
However, if nothing else, I hope this theory serves as an interpretation of FNAF that makes for a good story. Instead of this confusing mish-mash of seemingly random events and people, we’re left with a simple story about a small child trying to get revenge on his older brother, who’s still grappling with coming to terms with what he did. It’s creepy, it’s poignant, it’s sad, and it is Five Nights at Freddy’s.
[IT’S ME Jumpscare - Weird Al over Credits]
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samaramin · 4 years ago
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INTRODUCING: Samar “Sam” Amin
“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
THE BASICS
Full Name: Samar “Sam” Victor Amin Age: twenty-six Birthday: April 20th, 1995 Zodiac Sign: Aries Occupation: Tattoo Shop Assistant at Tatt’s All Length of Time in Crescent Harbor: all his life Neighborhood: Goldfinch Valley, currently resides in @lilywhittaker​’s house Hometown: Crescent Harbor, Washington Nationality: American, his mother was from France originally, his father is of Indian descent Sexuality: Bisexual Relationship Status: Single, not looking Qualities: creative, loyal, fearless, passionate, playful Flaws: impulsive, hot-headed, reckless, selfish, withdrawn MBTI: ENFP-T “The Turbulent Campaigner” Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good Enneagram: Type 7 ��The Enthusiast”
Y’all have met my sweet son John, get ready to meet my chaos son Sam! He’s a little careless and broody sometimes but usually a pretty chill guy with a lot of trauma to unpack – or in his case, to keep locked away forever because what even are emotions. He’s doing his best to find his purpose in life but as the son of a influential founding family heir that seems easier said than done.
THE FAMILY SITUATION
tw: death, armed robbery
Sam was born into an influential founding family of Crescent Harbor and has never really left the town, aside from a few trips to France to see his mother’s side of the family and go on vacations. That stopped when his mother was killed in a rather tragic event, an armed robbery that had never been resolved. While his father, Rohan Amin, has never had a very loving relationship with his sons, always a little absent and therefore distant, he’s tried his best to keep the family together but sometimes it seems like you can’t fix what’s already been broken into pieces for years and years before. When it comes down to it, Sam cares about his father and half-brother but he doesn’t like to show it - whether that’s due to the fact that he blames his dad for his mothers sudden passing or he feels like they remind him of her too much is something he’s still trying to work out himself.
THE LOOKS
Faceclaim: Avan Jogia Height: 5'8’’ Hair Color/Length: dark and wavy, usually worn long or tied up in a messy bun when it bothers him. Facial Hair: Sam thinks he looks like a baby when he’s clean shaven so he usually sports as much stubble as he can. Eyes: brown Complexion: clear, warm undertones, usually has dark circles under his eyes due to not sleeping much Body: Athletic. While Sam can be terribly lazy, he usually moves around town quite a bit. Whether he’s skating or riding his boke, he’s pretty active that way. Style: Sam doesn’t really care about whatever “rules” there might be to fashion. He wears what he likes and thinks is fun, even if it doesn’t match the occasion. He likes to shop second hand and isn’t scared of things that seem a little too out there to be worn by anyone really - he likes to take a risk, even if it doesn’t feel like it to him. Some might call his style eccentric, he just calls it his own. Smells Like: Cigarette smoke, energy drinks and clean out of the shower - unless you meet him out and about skating on a hot summer’s day. In that case, sorry in advance.
THE STORY
tw: death, armed robbery
Sam was born and raised in Crescent Harbor and doesn’t really know anything else.
He gets out to Seattle quite a bit to party or just a change of scenery but other than that, he rarely ventures further away.
He wants to get out of the town so badly but at the same time not badly enough to actively work on finding a way out, as in he likes to talk shit about the town and its people but it is his home at the end of the day and he’ll get defensive (don’t ask me)
Even though he’d have the funds to move out (thanks Sam’s dad!), he hasn’t yet, mostly because his father isn’t home most of the time anyways and it allows Samar to stick around comfortably. He’s working on getting a place for himself though, preferably with roommates because he hates being alone with his thoughts for even a second but also can’t stand being around his father, despite the fact that he’s not even doing anything bad but my boy just doesn’t like being told what to do and he has nothing to say to him as their relationship is a little rocky
That’s mostly because he assumes that his father has some questionable ties to businesses all across the country and Sam is convinced that his side hustles have something to do with the fatal armed robbery in which his mother lost her life
He never asked his dad about it, so he can’t know for sure - his father’s also not a bad person just terrible distant and overwhelmed with the fact that he suddenly had to raise his two boys on his own.
Sam misses his mother every single day and suffers from her loss, though he rarely talks about it if at all. He only has a few people he talks to about it - but most of the time, he’ll gloss over it.
Sam also has a half-brother he’s got a kind of rocky relationship with but ultimately, he’d do anything for him! (this is an open connection *wink-nudge*)
Deep down he cares deeply about the people close to him but has a hard time showing them or letting them know. He’s trying though and even though he’s moody and has a hard time with grey areas, Sam tries not to see the world in black and white all the time
He’s very sociable and kind when he has to be, he likes being around people unless he wants to lock himself away for days on end just to sulk. Sometimes he’ll pick fights but not as much as he used to - that’s the only aspect in life where he mellowed out though.
Even though he was a horrible student, Samar likes learning new skills and is good at a lot of them, even if he doesn’t quite realize. He likes to skate, play the guitar, sometimes he even writes random lyrics, sketches or reads, though he’s usually too restless for that and sticks to the more active hobbies he has.
Sadly, he’s not exactly scared of getting into trouble still. His carelessness often gets in the way when he’s taking the concept of Hedonism a little too far which leaves him with making reckless decisions that he doesn’t really regret – to him it’s all about learning from his experiences. Or not learning anything from them at all which usually ends up in a repetition of that same mistake in an endless loop.
He’s aware of his privilege but also tends to get a little too into the “woe is me” zone occasionally. He appreciates it when he gets snapped out of it though.
He is also pretty generous, since he doesn’t really care about money, even if it doesn’t seem that way. If you need money or someone to buy you a drink? Sam’s your guy and he’ll do it, no questions asked.
All in all he’s a good guy who’s really just trying to figure himself out and wants to find a place for him in the world in the midst of all the chaos but so far, he’s not been too lucky.
I’m currently working on a connections page but if you’d like to plot or connect him with your muses, just throw your ideas at me and we can figure something out!
I’m also currently reworking his bio a little to tweak some things. Until then, you can find his rather outdated one here and some more musings here. 💕
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