#that is when the disconnect started!!!! and it only became more extreme when he was taught shiguma's art but couldn't MASTER it!!!!

[sebbyisland]

akanematic.mp4 (youtube link)

[baileyartblog]

I have so many versions of the Scarecrow but I wanted to try and do a more original take on him! Big ol info dump about him under the cut :3c

Born Josephine Keeny, Yonatan Crane uses his knowledge of chemistry and biology to keep his lycanthropy at bay, lest he go hog wild and start eating people.

When completely in control he is a court-ordered psychiatrist, truly believing that even the most vile criminal can be rehabilitated. Unfortunately for those who refuse change, he resorts to various ways of training them to fear their own crimes. Failed experimentation gives him the ingredients needed to stay human, so he gets over failure quickly. He's highly intelligent, softly spoken, and can be extremely passive-aggressive. He WILL hold a grudge. Despite having studied psychology and knowing it well, he has very poor social skills.

If he fails to prevent a transformation he turns into the Scarebeast, a wild and powerful animal capable of self-awareness but not of speech. The Scarebeast is akin to that of a wild animal and so is harmless if it doesn't feel threatened. You could even pat, brush, and ride the Scarebeast if it sees you as a friend. Transforming back into a human puts great strain on Yonatan's body and mind, meaning that he can be left in an altered state for days to weeks afterwards- This state is the Scarecrow, who is between animal and human. The Scarecrow will run at you on all fours unprovoked and is in fact more dangerous than the Scarebeast in terms of rage and vindictiveness.

The scars covering Yonatan's body are from medical experimentation and strain from transformation, but a majority of them are from the abuse inflicted by his great-grandmother growing up. He was born out of wedlock and was noticeably not white, so the woman treated him as less than human. His condition became obvious and so he was seen as being from the devil, suffering failed exorcisms and various abuse. Growing into a socially stunted but physically beautiful young girl, his guardian felt that he would use his looks for evil and so poisoned his mind into believing he was hideous - Something that he never stopped believing. Ironically she never injured his face as that would then make the abuse too obvious.

His first-ever transformation caused his guardian to suffer a fatal heart attack, and he lived off her corpse for several days before fleeing. He never knew his parents, but he knew about them from photos and journals kept hidden in the house he grew up in; Choosing to change his first name to reflect his half-Jewish mother and taking his surname from his Native American father. He feels entirely disconnected from those cultures and has only recently been studying to learn more.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Rusty | Chapter 24 FINAL | S.R

Previous Chapter

A/N - not originally where I planned to take this it felt right for me to take the fic in this direction. There is a happy ending but I guess it’s kinda bittersweet?

Summary - Spencer takes one final blow in regards to his health and Luke makes a decision. Will you and Spencer get your happy ending or were you just too rusty?

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - strangers to friends to lovers | angst | smut minors DNI

Warnings - heavy hospital talk, swearing, terminal illness, DID, catheterisation and urination, medication, lots of tears, hints at oral (m receiving), penetrative, unprotected sex.

WC - 6.3k

Chapter 24 - Bless the Broken Road

Over the next few days, Spencer started gaining some independence. But with the ups came some terrible lows. 

He was gradually weaned off of the ventilator, which was an experience in itself. Doctor Wells was confident in his ability to breathe on his own. However his chest x-ray hadn't yielded entirely good news and she confirmed her unfortunate findings with tissue samples. One thing at a time. She would get Spencer off the vent and then have the conversation.

He was given a mild sedative to relax his airways and calm his nerves. He was conscious but hazy which was for the best. 

His tube was suctioned one more time before Doctor Wells started slowly decreasing the ventilator's support and monitoring his response. 

His lungs kicked back into gear albeit leisurely. At first he struggled to remember how to take his own breaths, still heavily relying on the ventilator and gasping a little between each staggered inhale and exhale. 

Doctor Wells continued to lower the machine, while he desperately fought to breathe on his own. Once the machine was completely disconnected, the tube still down in his throat in case he needed the vent suddenly, he was subjected to spontaneous breathing trials. 

For over an hour he was watched closely by the doctor while he sat in bed and simply breathed. Every now and again he would gasp, stutter out a ragged breath and heave air back into his lungs. 

She reminded him to stay calm, to just let it happen naturally which was hard given he’d had something breathing for him for nearly a week. 

She monitored his oxygen levels and vitals and was pleased with his progress even if he didn’t think his breathing felt at all normal. She assured him it was all par for the course. 

After she was suitably pleased with his breathing, his lungs feeling like they were ready to expand right out of his chest, she informed him she would be extubating him. 

The feeling of the breathing tube being removed from his throat caused him to gag violently and cough so hard it burnt. His breathing became completely erratic and he silently begged to just be hooked back up to the machine.

It’s too hard, can’t do it alone. Can’t remember how to breathe on my own. Can’t do it. Can’t remember. S’too hard, please? 

“Doctor Reid, you’re doing great. It’s okay to feel some anxiety, it’s perfectly normal. Just breathe in and out like you’ve been doing your entire life.” 

At first he was inhaling too sharply, through his nose and sending the air spiralling too quickly into his exhausted lungs. 

Why can’t I remember how to breathe? Been doing it since you were born. It was six days, you can do this you fucking idiot. 

After several long minutes his breathing started to return to something close to normal although he had to concentrate extremely hard on each breath. 

Doctor Wells provided him with a nasal cannula although instructed he try to only use it when he really felt he needed it.

She explained it would be an adjustment. His respiratory muscles needed to generate the necessary force to move air in and out, and those muscles had been depleted whilst on the vent. 

“Can you try swallowing for me, Doctor Reid?” She asked him once he started getting his breathing somewhat under control. 

He did. And it felt magnificent. He did it again. Then she handed him some blessed water for his extremely dry throat but told him he had to sip slowly, despite wanting to guzzle it down. 

The water was glorious, quenching his hideous throat and mouth. It was such a wonderful reprieve and he relished every second. 

“Do you think you can try and talk for me now?” Doctor Wells encouraged after he finished the cup of water. 

He rolled his cracked lip between his teeth - a small action he’d missed being able to do - before gently nodding his head. 

He cleared his throat and sucked in a breath which caused his lungs to freak out and he started coughing. 

Another cup of water and several minutes of trying to calm him down he sat back against his pillows feeling a little light headed. But he persevered. 

“H-hello.” His voice was so croaky he barely registered it was his own. 

It made his throat tickle and he almost succumbed to another coughing fit but thankfully breathed through it. 

“Great, and again?” Wells prompted. 

Does she have any idea how difficult it was just to say that? 

He fought the urge to huff another breath for fear of sending his lungs into a panic again. He’d wanted his first words to be to tell you how much he loved you but since your first time visiting him yesterday you were yet to return. 

You’d stayed with him for a few hours and talked to him while he listened and dozed in and out of sleep. You talked to him about Willow and Rusty and Copper, told him Grant and Luke were staying with you and how weird it was. He continuously tapped away on your hand, repeating his morse code mantra. 

dot-dot. dot-dash-dot-dot. dash-dash-dash. dot-dot-dot-dash. dot. dash-dot-dash-dash. dash-dash-dash. dot-dot-dash. 

And to his knowledge he hadn’t dissociated or slipped into one of his alters once the whole time you were there. However, as soon as you left the old ghosts had reared their ugly head and chatted amongst themselves until he willfully fell asleep. 

Doctor Wells was watching him expectantly, waiting for him to speak. He had no idea what he was supposed to say, it was a very strange and new experience. But despite everything, he forced his voice to cooperate.

“H-hello, I am S-Spen…Spe-Spencer Reid.” The effort with which it took him to say those five words caused a heat to spread to his lungs again and he was huffing and puffing once they were out. 

Doctor Wells was quick to hand him the nasal cannula which he gratefully took from her, stuffing the little tubes inside his nostrils and deeply inhaling the sweet, sweet oxygen. And that was when she decided to deliver the blow. 

“Doctor Reid…Spencer,” her expression changed and Spencer knew that look, he’d used it so many times in his FBI career.

Bad news. She has bad news. Oh god I’m dying aren’t I? Oh fuck you’ve really done it this time. 

His head started to spin, his vision blurring. 

No, no don’t dissociate now, you need to understand what she has to say.

He focused himself on his breathing, squeezed the bedsheets in his hand. He needed to stay present, stay focused. The fuzzy edges of his vision became slowly sharper. 

We can do this, just be Spencer. 

“W-what is it?” He spoke breathily. “Just tell me, please?” 

“I’m afraid there is no easy way to say this.” Doctor Wells sighed. “During your chest x-ray we found some scarring on your lungs and the diagnosis was confirmed by having your tissue samples analysed. I’m afraid it appears you’ve developed pulmonary fibrosis, I trust you know what this is?” 

Spencer’s jaw clenched. He focused on keeping himself as Spencer, not allowing the alters to take over. Not now, he needed just a moment to deal with this himself. 

“I-I…” hardened, thickened lung tissue, makes it hard to breathe, harder over time. Shortness of breath, coughing fits, constant fatigue. “Y-yes.” 

“It is terminal, Doctor Reid, and it is progressive. However, we caught it early and although it's not curable it is treatable. It is possible that you can live for years with this disease if properly treated.” She smiled softly, her tone laced with melancholia. 

“But it w-will kill me? O-one day?” He stuttered. 

“I’m afraid so. And we have no way to know how long that will take. The average life span is generally three to five years, but I’m hopeful you can beat those odds.” 

He sucked in the oxygen through his nose, biting back a cough. His breaths were coming in short, sharp bursts. 

Better get used to that, never going to be able to breathe properly again. 

“I want to get you started on medication right away. I’m going to prescribe pirfenidone which will help slow the lung scarring, but won’t be able to reverse it. We can set you up with at home oxygen therapy once you are discharged, portable oxygen cylinders with nasal cannulas that you can use when you feel the need. 

“I can enrol you in a pulmonary rehabilitation which will help you stay active without over exerting yourself and will improve how easily you will be able to do every day tasks. This sadly doesn’t end well, Doctor Reid, as you know. But with your age and the fact we caught it early, I do believe you can live a long, relatively normal life.” 

“But not as l-long as if I didn’t h-have this, right?” He felt the tears well in his eyes.

“Right.” She agreed. 

Well done, Reid you did it. You wanted to kill yourself and ultimately got your wish. It's just going to be a slow, painful death while your lungs steadily give up on you. 

“I, uh, can I b-be alone, p-please?” He let the tears fall, rolling his head on the pillow away from the doctor.

“Of course.” She nodded and he heard her push the chair back.

“And I d-don’t want…my friends, d-don’t tell them this. I’ll t-tell them when I’m ready. N-not yet.” His chest stuttered with each painful breath. Was it normal that his lungs hurt more now he knew this?

“Of course Doctor Reid, that’s your call. But I will say that it helps to have people around while you’re dealing with something like this. Your life will be exceedingly different now and you will need people to aid your adjustment. You aren’t going to be able to do all the things you used to do, accepting help from people who love you will greatly improve your quality of life and even lengthen it.” Doctor Wells spoke but she could see he was no longer listening.

She could tell by the glazed look in his eyes he wasn’t even Spencer anymore. 

Somewhere in the deep recesses of his fractured mind, Spencer registered her words. But his presenting alter wasn’t listening. 

“Look what you’ve gone and done you fucking puta. After everything you survived, this is what you’re going to let kill you? Mierda, what a waste of such a perfect cock sucking mouth.” 

Lea-leave me al-alone. I c-can’t. Can’t. Not now. P-please just let me pro-process. 

Spencer Reid who wasn’t Spencer Reid cried himself into a fitful sleep while his slowly dying lungs tried desperately to keep him alive a little while longer. 

***

Three days later Spencer was dealing with his diagnosis the way he always dealt with things - by ignoring them. 

He’d started PT to aid his breathing for his disused lungs which he thought was pointless seeing that they were giving up on him anyway. 

He was off his catheter and allowed to move about as long as he had his portable oxygen tank at his disposal. 

Coming off of the catheter offered him a distraction from his illness albeit not a particularly nice one. The feeling of having a full bladder was an uncomfortable and new experience. He’d gotten so used to the catheter draining his urine constantly he’d forgotten what it was like to need to go. 

He often found himself not quite making it to the bathroom before he expelled himself, once in bed and a few times on the floor on route to the toilet. And when did go it was painful and oftentimes he wasn’t able to empty his bladder to the extent he needed and was left feeling dissatisfied. 

It was slowly starting to pass, he was at least able to make it to the bathroom before urinating himself now but the slight discomfort remained. 

He was prescribed pirfenidone for his pulmonary fibrosis and after a few meetings with Doctor Vikram she put him on a strong dose of olanzapine for his DID which was yet to go away. 

He’d refused at first, desperate to not be reliant on an antipsychotic used to treat schizophrenia. But as the days drew on and the alters grew louder and louder in his head, he decided he would do anything to make it stop. 

He was eventually able to shower which was an absolute godsend. And finally after nearly two weeks in the hospital, Spencer was allowed to be discharged. 

Honestly it felt like an absolute lifetime since he’d last stepped outside. The air seemed fresher, crisper somehow. 

Spring was in full bloom and he wished he could properly smell the flowers over his nasal cannula which was attached to the little canister of oxygen that Luke insisted on wheeling for him even though he was perfectly capable. 

He still hadn’t told any of you about his diagnosis, he simply lied and said he’d need the oxygen for a little while until his lungs would get back to their full capacity, knowing they never would. 

Luke drove home, Grant sitting up front and you in the back with Spencer, hand in hand. He leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, slipping the nose cannula out and letting it hang around his neck.  

He wasn’t supposed to use it all the time anyway, only when he really needed it. Although his lungs did noticeably burn when he wasn’t using it. 

He just wanted to enjoy this moment with you, knowing it would all soon be over. None of you had discussed what happened now but you all knew it was inevitable. 

It was late and so Spencer offered Luke and Grant to stay one last night, more out of wanting one final night with you before Luke carted you away to federal prison. 

Grant cooked a large meal for which Spencer barely touched, he had other things on his mind. After you’d all eaten, he removed his cannula once more and let himself take in a fresh breath. 

All eyes were already on him. You were all far too smart and all knew he was keeping something from you. 

He closed his eyes briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose before opening them and looking back around the table. 

“Luke, I need you to do me a f-favour.” Spencer spoke breathily. 

“Anything man.” Luke quickly replied. 

“I need you t-to call the team. I n-need to tell you all some-something and I can only say it on-once.” He panted as he spoke.

You whimpered pathetically, reaching out and clutching his hand at the implication. Luke swallowed thickly, glancing at Grant as he freed his phone from his pocket without a word. He called Emily and put the device on speaker. It rang three times.

“Hey, Alvez. How is Reid?” She was speaking rapidly.

“I’m h-here, Emily.” He spoke before Luke could. 

“Reid, it's so good to hear your voice.” She smiled as she spoke.

“Prentiss, are you with the team?” Luke’s voice cut in. 

“Uh, yeah we’re all at the BAU, why?” 

“Can you g-gather them please? Need to…p-please?” Spencer whined, pressing his knuckles to his chest as a wave of pain pulsed through him.

“Of course, give me a minute.” Her tone was laced with the fear you all felt in the room. 

You clutched Spencer’s hand tighter, already feeling the tears well in your eyes, knowing whatever he had to say wasn’t going to be good. 

A few minutes of thick and tense silence passed before Emily was speaking again.

“We’re all here, Reid. The whole team is here.” 

Spencer nodded, lifting his cannula and holding it to his nose whilst taking a long pull on the liquid heaven that was his oxygen. He let it hang again from his neck and looked around the room. If he focused hard enough he could imagine the whole team was here with him.

“I don’t know h-how to say this other than to-to just s-say it.” Breathe, remember to breathe. “The d-doctor found scar-scarring on my lungs. She dia-diagnosed me with pulmonary fib-fibrosis.” Struggling, he picked the cannula back up and inserted it fully into his nose. “My lungs are going to slowly shut down. The thin w-walls of my l-lungs air sacs are t-thickening which m-makes it harder for t-them to get o-oxygen to the rest of my body. 

“The t-typical prognosis is th-three to f-five years, but D-Doctor Wells is h-hopeful I might out-outlive those odds. But either way this…this is going to k-kill me one d-day.” Breath, just breath. “I’m on m-medication to slo-slow the sc-scarring and I w-will need supplemental ox-oxygen. I…uh…I just needed you a-all to know. I n-need you all to know that I lo-love you all. And, uh…yeah.” 

He closed his eyes against a wave of tears and tugged the cannula back out of his nose. He leaned back in his chair, feeling your hand trembling in his own. He heard you sob loudly as the words sunk in.

Across the table a few tears had escaped Luke’s eyes, the eyes he couldn’t tear off of Spencer. Grant was gripping his shoulder, clinging to his boyfriend while he silently cried. 

Down the line was a lot of gasps and cries he discerned as belonging to Penelope and JJ. He heard the mutterings of “oh kid,” from Rossi and various other sentiments from the others. 

“Oh my gosh, Spence.” JJ sobbed, he could imagine her holding her chest the way she did when she was sad.

“Is there anything we can do? Anything at all?” Tara was speaking now, tone laced with concern and heartbreak. 

“Boy wonder, my heart, my soul.” Garcia was crying too. 

More words came swarming down the line but Spencer couldn’t comprehend them. They all had a lot of questions but Spencer was too exhausted to answer them right now. 

He promised to stay in better touch with them and he would answer everything in due course but right now he was too overwhelmed and when he got overwhelmed his ghosts like to come out to play.

He was still getting used to his olanzapine and had slipped into one of his dissociative personas once or twice in the last few days but thankfully it was already starting to become few and far between. 

He heard the voices still regularly but mostly in his head and they didn’t often come to the surface. But maybe that was more due to the fact he had far more important things on his mind. 

After the call ended he took in the teary eyes around the table as he pushed his chair back. He grabbed the handles of his wheely canister to steady his shaking legs, the cannula still hanging around his neck. You jumped up and placed your hands on his chest. He bowed his head and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

“I just need some fresh air.” He mumbled to you with a small smile.

He knew he ought to be spending every second he could with you as come morning Luke would be taking you away. But right now he just needed a second to gather his raging thoughts before he became someone he didn’t want to be. 

He wheeled the oxygen out onto the back porch, Copper following behind him. He cautiously lowered himself to the swing chair and Copper jumped up, immediately curling up at Spencer’s side. 

Spencer’s breathing was a little fraught from the short walk but he tried to calm it himself rather than constantly relying on the blessed oxygen, no matter how much he might like to. He brushed his knuckles over the smooth coat of Copper’s neck trying to keep the others from taking over his rampant thoughts.

“This is all your own fault.”

“You have no one to blame but yourself.” 

“You’ve not just hurt yourself but the people you love too. You’re no better than any of us.”

Maybe, maybe not. Doesn’t matter anymore. None of it matters anymore.

He cast his eyes out in the dark across the expanse of land down the hill. Eventually his breathing started returning to normal, or at least what was his new normal. He was surprised he was allowed any semblance of peace from the three of you but after a little while he heard the screen door open and close behind him. 

Spencer glanced up at the man who looked so much older than his years right then. Spencer imagined he didn’t look much better himself. Luke offered him a sorrowful smile as he pulled a wicker chair over to sit in front of him. 

“Hey,” Luke whispered, tears glistening in his eyes.

“Hey,” Spencer replied. 

“Love you, you know that right, cariño?” Luke sniffed heavily.

“Love you too, querido.” Spencer sniffed too but it caused him to cough a few times before he managed to stem it.  

“Life is just so fucking unfair.” Luke shook his head, his sadness suddenly replaced with malice. “This shouldn’t be happening to you. After everything you’ve already been through this should not-”

“Luke,” Spencer’s wispy voice cut him off before he could start ranting. “It’s my own f-fault. I tried to dr-drown myself, this is my ret…ret…retribution. Probably shoulda just l-let me die.” 

“Don’t say that, please don’t say that.” Luke’s tears returned and scored hot and heavy down his cheeks. 

“I’m terminally ill, I don’t get to ma-make jokes?” Spencer smiled wistfully. 

“Only if they’re funny.” Luke rolled his eyes. “Do you want me and Grant to stay out here a little while? Just until you get yourself sorted with your meds and everything?” 

“No off-offence Luke, but that sounds incredibly fu-fucking awkward.” He panted. 

“Fair enough.” Luke agreed. “Is there anything I can do?” 

Not arrest my fiancé. Don’t take her away from me. 

“No,” Spencer shook his head, patting Copper’s back. “Right n-now I’d really just l-like to take Y/N to b-bed and try and not def-deflate a lung in the p-process.” 

“Now who's making it awkward?” Luke frowned, wiping his tears. “We’ll take the guest room downstairs tonight I think.”

“Appreciate it.” Spencer reinstated his cannula and Luke helped him to his feet while Copper jumped up too. 

The two men stood under the sky, beautifully alight with the glistening stars peppering the otherwise black blanket above them. 

Luke reached out and cupped Spencer’s jaw lightly and the younger man hummed at the contact. 

“I’ll always…always…” Luke choked. 

“I k-know.” Spencer breathed. “I’ll always t-too.” 

Luke nodded, leaning closer and brushing his lips across Spencer’s in the most featherlight kiss he could almost believe he imagined it. 

But he knew he hadn’t. 

Spencer was soon turning on his heels and wheeling his canister back towards the house with Copper trotting behind while Luke remained still on the porch. 

Once Spencer was gone he pulled his phone out again and redialled the familiar number. This time she answered on the second ring.

“Hey Alvez,” Emily Prentiss had without a doubt been crying no matter how hard she tried to hide it. 

“Prentiss, sorry to just keep piling it on but…” he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Effective immediately, I quit the BAU.” 

***

Spencer didn’t know if it was the lack of oxygen filling his shattered lungs that made him light headed or if that could be attributed to the fact he had just experienced the most intense orgasm of his entire life.

He was on his back, panting around the cannula which was most certainly keeping him alive at that moment, staring at the ceiling while you laid next to him, curling into his side.

“I d-don’t have any wo-words.” Spencer breathed as you placed kisses on his bare chest. 

“Hmm, I did my job then.” You laughed a little wistfully. 

It was your last night together and Spencer wanted to feel everything with you before it was too late. So ignoring the voices in his head, he had finally succumbed to feeling your mouth around his shaft. 

It had been so long since he allowed someone to do that to him, he’d almost forgotten how incredible it could feel. You’d made him come in no time at all and you’d swallowed every last drop of him down. But he needed more. 

He lifted your head from his chest and kissed you, tasting the remains of his seed on your tongue. He rolled you on top of him and it was easy to feel he was already halfway to erect again. 

One hand took purchase on the back of your neck while he kissed you as fervently as his lungs would allow while the other dipped between your legs, gasping at how wet you were from simply pleasuring him. 

The gasp caused you to pull away from his lips, concerned he was struggling to breathe, which truthfully he was in spite of the cannula feeding him oxygen. His fingers slid between your folds as you looked down on him with slightly sad eyes.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.” You whined as he brushed over your sensitive clit.

“I don’t care.” He shook his head. “Y/N, this is o-our last night together. I n-need to feel you on-one last time. P-please?” He whimpered in that breathy voice you were already growing so accustomed to.

“It could literally kill you Spen…oh fuck” You moaned as he pressed deftly against your bud. 

“I h-honestly don’t care. If th-this is how I die then I’ll con…consider myself a l-lucky man.”

“Don’t joke.” 

“Who’s joking?” He suddenly removed his hand from between your legs and wrapped it around his fully hard cock. “P-please princess, ri-ride me? We can go n-nice and slow and I’ll be f-fine.” 

Or I’ll die. But at least I’ll die doing what I love. 

“Spence, I really don’t want my last memory of you to be of you dying while I’m riding you.” You huffed. 

“If this whole t-thing has taught me a-anything it’s that our time is fin-finite. L-life is not a gu-guarantee. But love…love is infinite. And I l-love you more than wo-words can say. Let’s remember us this w-way.” He sucked in a breath around the cannula. “Whadda you say pr-princess? Hop on up here and g-give me something to rem-remember.” 

Your eyes were wet with tears as you looked down on him. Life was intrinsically unfair. In less than twelve hours Luke would be carting you away while Spencer was left here to die a slow and painful death. 

Time was finite, you knew that to be true now more so than ever. And if Spencer wanted you in that way one last time, who were you to deny him that. 

You bowed your head and captured his chapped lips in a kiss while moving his own hand aside so you could grip the base of his shaft. 

You lined him up with your entrance while sitting back on your haunches. Spencer’s eyes fell between your legs and he watched in slack jawed awe as he disappeared inside of you inch by glorious inch. 

He slowly bottomed out inside of you, your ass nestled on his thighs. He smiled up at you, breathing in through the cannula as he took in every intricate detail of your body. 

You were a work of art, sculpted by skilled hands just for him. You were magnificent in your beauty, an ethereal creature for whom he surely didn’t deserve. 

He loved every single tiny piece of you from your head to your toes and every wondrous curve in between. Even if your time together had been short, he treasured every second of it and would for the rest of his life, however long that might be. 

He gave you a soft nod, encouraging you to move. You were slow and steady in your movements, careful to listen out for any ragged breathing from him. 

Every time his pants got a little too violent you stilled to allow him to catch his breath. 

With each leisurely roll of your hips Spencer swore he felt himself ebbing impossibly deeper inside of you, reaching places he swore couldn’t be real. 

The gentle tapping of his blunt head against your cervix over and over again in a blissfully sluggish rhythm caused you to teeter closer and closer to your brink. 

Spencer held eye contact with you the whole time, laying perfectly still as he didn’t think his lungs could cope with any unnecessary movement. 

In truth his chest burned in agony with each aching intake of air but he didn’t care. All that mattered was the way you felt sheathed around him, rutting against him, clenching around him. 

By the time his second orgasm snuck up on him, pinching in the pit of his belly, he was light headed again but this time it was most certainly from lack of air. 

With a few more rocks of your pelvis you both came undone, reaching your peaks simultaneously. Spencer spilled his seed inside of you while your walls tightened around him, sending shockwaves through his entire body. 

You rode out your orgasms together but once you were starting to come down, you noticed the frantic heaving of Spencer’s chest and his slightly blue tinged lips. 

“Oh my gosh, Spence?” You threw yourself down to the bed, stroking his messy hair off his face. 

“I’m f-fine. S’fine.” He closed his eyes. 

“You're not fine!” You cried, gripping his face. 

“T-tired, okay? I’m s-sorry. Maybe…was a bit m-much. Worth it t-though. Okay. I’m o-okay…love y-you princess…”

You didn’t sleep. Not even a wink. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him all night. You stared at his chest to make sure he was breathing and if you couldn’t see any movement you’d hold your hand above his mouth and nose until you felt his breaths against your skin. 

The fear and adrenaline coursed through you at the thought of his lungs collapsing because of his insistence to have you one last time. 

The flood of relief washed over you when he opened his eyes the next morning, smiling sleepily up at you through his lashes. 

“You scared me to death last night.” You spoke in hushed tones. 

“Hmm, sorry p-princess.” He panted, his hand rising to entwine in your hair and draw you in for a kiss. 

You cuddled for a while draped in that sleep addled bliss before you both became painfully aware that your time was almost up.

You helped him shower, massaging every inch of his body much like you had done all those months ago back in Bandera. It seemed like another lifetime ago now. 

Afterwards you dressed and you assisted him carrying his canister downstairs, feeling much like you were walking the plank. 

Luke and Grant were already up, the front door was open and Copper puttered about on the porch while Grant heaved his suitcase into Luke’s rental. 

Luke was in the doorway and he turned when he heard the two of you heading down the stairs. He smiled a little wistfully at you both and stepped back inside. 

“Guess this is goodbye.” Luke shrugged at Spencer, holding his arms open for the other man. 

Spencer practically fell into them, nuzzling against Luke’s strong chest while the older man tucked him in his arms as though he was made of glass. 

“Stay in touch this time, please?” Luke whispered into Spencer’s ear.

“Promise.” He replied. 

As they were pulling apart, Grant headed back in, Copper hot on his tail. He smiled softly at Spencer with a small nod of his head. 

“Ready to hit the road, stud?” Grant nudged Luke’s arm. 

“Yeah, I think so.” Luke turned his attention to you. 

There was an indescribable look in his eyes, his lip quivering ever so slightly at the corner as you prepared for what came next. 

“Well, uh, take care then guys.” He offered you both a wave, wrapping an arm around Grant’s shoulder and turning them both back to the open door. 

You stared at the back of his head while Spencer looked frantically between you and Luke. Your heart was rampantly thumping against your chest, confusion riddled in your bones. 

“What’s…what’s going on?” You croaked out. 

Luke and Grant slowly turned back around, a curious look on Luke’s features. You were too busy looking at Luke that you didn’t notice the smile on Grant’s face. 

“What do you mean?” Luke’s lips puckered, forehead creasing. 

“You…you’re supposed to be arresting me.” You swallowed around your dry tongue. 

Luke and Grant exchanged a look before Luke turned back to you with a small shrug. 

“As of last night I no longer work for the FBI. So I guess I can’t.” 

“What?” Spencer breathed. “What d-do you mean?” 

“It was time for a change. Think I might work at one of those rehab facilities for veterans. Maybe train service dogs like Roxy, who knows. Guess the world is my oyster.” He shrugged again.

“You…I don’t understand what’s happening.” Tears flooded your vision, your bottom lip quivering. “If you don’t arrest me, your old partner will still be looking for me. I don’t…I don’t understand.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Luke’s lip twitched into a smirk. “I’ve got it covered. Just have a good life, okay? Both of you. Everyone deserves a second chance at happiness, god knows I got mine.” 

He glanced at Grant with a smile, entwining their fingers and giving his hand a small tug. 

“Shall we go, cariño?” 

“Please,” Grant replied.

You and Spencer watched them go in bewildered silence. You kept watching them until they were in Luke’s rental car, strapping themselves in and driving away down the gravel path. 

Finally you turned to Spencer, tears flowing heavily down both of your faces. It was hard to say which one of you crumbled first but suddenly you were in each other's arms, holding each other upright while you sobbed in the doorway of that old Victorian home. 

You had no way of knowing at the time, but four weeks later Spencer Reid would receive an email from someone called queenbabygirl72@prontonmail.com on his newly acquired laptop. The email would contain no message, simply three attachments. 

The first would be a death certificate promoting your name. The second, a birth certificate sporting your own date of birth alongside the name Elizabeth Reid. And the third would be a marriage licence declaring the union of the aforementioned Elizabeth Reid and Spencer Reid. 

And later when Spencer would call Luke and ask him about it, he would deny all knowledge of it. 

The two of you would make the decision to move away from Tombstone, as much as you loved the place, it wasn’t yours. You and Spencer’s fresh start would come in the form of Grant’s idea that he sell you and Spencer his old ranch. 

And so the two of you would live out your days back in Bandera on Grant’s family ranch, equipped with a summer house in which he and Luke would frequently vacation. Eventually you would acquire more horses and more cattle and even another dog to keep Copper company. 

But that was still all to come. 

For now, Spencer took hold of your hand and wheeling his canister in the other, the two of you headed down towards the stable, Copper running on ahead. You aided Spencer in mounting Willow, leaving his oxygen supplement behind and insisting he would be alright for a little trot down to the creek. You saddled up Rusty and with Copper still in toe, the five of you headed outside into the morning sunshine. 

Spencer reached over as the mares walked side by side and took hold of your hand, offering you a slightly wistful smile as he did so. There was no way of knowing how much time the two of you had left together, it was impossible to know how long Spencer had until his life was cut tragically short. 

But with any luck the two of you still had some wonderful years left ahead before you needed to worry about his diagnosis. And you would relish every single second of them. 

His hand squeezed yours tightly, his breathing a little heavy but he gave you a look that told you he was okay. The two horses took to the incline leading down through the trees towards the babbling brook beyond, Copper running happy little circles around Willow and Rusty.

You took in the beautiful morning, allowed yourself to relish in your own freedom for which you had been certain would end today. And you swore you would never take life granted again. 

You gently patted Rusty’s neck with your other hand, silently thanking her for knocking Spencer off of his horse all those months ago, for if she hadn’t the two of you would never have met.

It wouldn’t always be this way, there would still be some challenges along that broken road you travelled, but you would weather them together. Spencer still had a long way to go with his mental health and there would be blips, times in which the ghosts would rear their ugly heads and threaten to destroy everything he’d worked for. And of course understanding how to live with his illness would be a learning curve but he knew with you by his side, he could conquer anything. 

He brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles as the five of you continued on your journey. You both still had a lot to learn, there would most certainly still be bumps in the road, but together the two of you could navigate just about any hurdle. 

And even if you couldn’t, it would still be okay. You were both still a little rusty, after all. 

@kalulakunundrum @katrina0-0 @bakugouswh0r3 @prettyboyandthefangirl @zooni92802 @babyspiderling @pleasantwitchgarden @djsjjsjsjsjsnsnsns @bringitonhomejohnb @chineray1234

[roznnreads]

CodyWan week 2024 Day 3

Soulmate au (Sharing Injuries)

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When Obi-Wan was 1 he was given to the Jedi Order, the concept of a soulmate wasn’t necessarily forbidden but was frowned upon, but Obi-Wan was too young to even know the concept or even why they would be frowned upon

When Obi-Wan was 5 he learned what a soulmate was, they weren’t always romantic, half the time they were platonic, it was extremely unlikely to even meet as the entire galaxy was a potential option, some people had known their soulmate for years before even realising. As quickly as he learned of the concept he learned why it was frowned upon, as the undivided loyalty one feels towards the soulmate falls in contrast to one of the main testaments of the order, the one that forbade attachments, as the order had to come first in a Jedi’s life, nothing more. 

When Obi-Wan was 16 he became Qui-Gon’s padawan, and his slow change from rebellious youngling to a rebellious to his master, who himself was rebellious of the order, began. Obi-Wan had resigned himself to the face that he was a outlier and would never have a soulmate, it was easier to admit that than having the live with the knowledge of having to turn away his soulmate eventually

When Obi-Wan was 25 his master died and he was suddenly thrust into being a Jedi Master to Anakin, a child, his grief over Qui-Gon changed Obi-Wan, he was willing to trust but to put his love into another person, let alone a soulmate, which he didn’t have. 

When Obi-Wan was 34 he started noticing injuries that weren’t from him, it was a strange feeling, the injured part would feel tingly before falling numb until the wound healed, Obi-Wan could only guess they were in a dangerous profession as the range of injuries were far too disconnected for a normal person, one day when he was walking through the gardens of the Jedi Temple with Anakin, they were late to some meeting or whatever, but in a short span of time Obi-Wan felt the hit of a stun blaster and fainted onto the soft dirt.

When Obi-Wan was 35 The Clone Wars started, after the battle of Geonosis he was told that the Jedi would be joining the war effort and commanding armies to fight the droid armies and keep the peace, this is when he met the 212th. When he met Cody

They became friends fast, they could move around the battlefield with ease, knowing where the other was instinctively. It was part of the reason why Obi-Wan’s lightsaber ended up attached to Cody’s belt by the end of battle. They shared similar injuries by the end of battle but Obi-Wan never fully thought about it.

One day the 212th was stationed on Trandosha, there were reports of bandit and bounty hunters harassing the locals, the battalion was simply a deterrent, to prevent fighting. But then the faint feeling of numbness trickled from his forehead to around his left eye, he moved his hand up to his face, it was wet, looking back at his hand he saw the familiar red shine of blood, the injury quickly was cauterised. Obi-Wan’s soulmate was clearly not in a safe environment. 

When Obi-Wan was 35 he saw Cody, with a fresh scar, the same one that appeared randomly on his face, a little while earlier, when the Squad of troopers came back to the base, they looked at Obi-Wan and promptly looked away, walking at a brisk pace to the barracks, leaving Cody, his hemet was off, resting on his hip, broken and busted, his face had a cauterised wound around his eye. 

When Obi-Wan was 48 he was still getting the occasional bruises and injuries, it was one of the only comforts in his monotonous life, that Cody was alive, probably with the empire, one of the many stormtroopers, but alive.

When Cody was 32, well he looked like he was in his 60s, he was on Yavin 4, joining the rebellion against the empire after the failed clone rebellion. There weren’t many clones left, most went into hiding, wanting to escape the war and stop fighting. A small group of them joined the rebellion to end the empire and bring back democracy, it was a part of the coding in their brains to be loyal to the long dead Republic and democracy. Cody was sitting in the dining hall with his brothers when he felt the burn of a lightsaber in his side before his body went numb, but he knew what that meant.

[h-c-u]

The kids are alright pt 3

Summary: You go into labor two weeks before the due date, while Ice is giving an interview on the live TV

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x reader

W/C: 4k

Rating: PG

TWs: Labor and all stuff that comes with it.

A/N: Sooo.... The baby is here :) And this chapter was inspired by that interrupted interview with prince Harry, when he was still in the military Also - someone asked me why I wasn't calling Bradley "Rooster", so I might address it here as well - it's because in this universe, he's not a pilot, so he didn't get that callsign yet :)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Masterlist | List of tags | Part 4

- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! - you almost fell over when you felt a contraction. At first, you thought that it was Braxton-Hicks, but they were getting stronger and stronger over the last hour... Or was it even more...? 

You were home alone, so the situation was less than ideal, but you didn't want to worry Ice, just in case it was nothing, because you knew he was doing an interview today. You also didn't want to call for an ambulance, because you felt like it would be an overshoot, and you definitely couldn't drive alone.

Another contraction came and you had to hold a kitchen counter as hard as you possibly could if you didn't want to fall.

- SHIT. FUCK. - weirdly, swearing helped a little, but when the pain retreated for a moment, you quickly dialed Bradley, because you knew that he had a day off. Since the memorable dinner, you two became much closer, and you treated him now as if he was your younger brother. That's why you sighed with relief when he finally answered. - Where are you...? - you were out of breath and he immediately realized that something was wrong.

- I'm actually on my way to you, I'll be there in like two minutes.

- Oh thank gods... You'll have to take me to the hospital, so don't even bother coming in. I'll be waiting outside... - you've said. Bag. There was an emergency bag prepared just for this occasion and you took it with you.

- Is everything ok? - you only groaned in response, because another contraction came.

- I'm... I think the labor started. - you've said through gritted teeth.

- Oh shit, it's early! - he sounded a bit panicked. - I'm pulling in... - he said when you were locking the door behind you. - I'm here, I'm here! - he run out of the car and was near you in less than a second, taking the bag from you, and offering you his arm, so the walk to the car would be easier. - How do you feel? - you only shot daggers from your eyes at him in response. - Not talkative today, got it. - he helped you get into the front seat and pushed it as far back as he could, while you disconnected the call between you two, and immediately called 911. - What are you...? - another killer look from you shut him up really quickly.

- Hello, My name is y/n Kazansky and I'm in labor. I will be in a blue Ford Bronco riding to St. Barts from the south, most likely over the speed limit. I don't know the exact route, but I would really appreciate not being... FFFFFFUUUUCKKKKKKKK!!!!! - you screamed while Bradley started the car and pulled out of your driveway. - Sorry about that. Contraction. I know it's not conventional, but we would really appreciate not being stopped or chased. - you saw the surprise on your temporary driver's face when he immediately started speeding up.

- I don't have any patrols in the area, but I'll relay the message. Wait... There is a firetruck coming down from the highway, I can ask them to escort you to the hospital. - the lady on the other end of the call was extremely helpful already.

- Yes! Thank you very much! - you tried to breathe as calmly as possible and not push yet, considering that your water didn't break.

- I will also let St. Barts know that you'll be coming, so the team will be ready for you. How far apart are your contractions? - she was surprisingly calm, but that must have come with the job; after all you couldn't just lose your temper answering the emergency calls.

- You're an angel. They started maybe two hours ago and are now 4-5 minutes apart. - you sighed with relief, while Bradley swirled harshly to the left.

- Just here to help, ma'am. Can you tell me how dilated you are?

- I can't exactly see and I'm not gonna ask the driver to look under my dress now... I'd rather just get there as soon as possible. I see the firetruck! - you exclaimed happily.

- That's good, I just got the confirmation that they noticed you too, so it shouldn't be too long until you'll be with your doctors. - she remained calm till the end.

- Thank you so much, really. I'm gonna hang up now because I have to call my husband and tell him what's going on. Thank you again.

- Happy to help, ma'am. Good luck! - you laughed in response and finally ended the call when the firetruck in front of you turned it's sirens on.

- I didn't know you could do that with emergency numbers... - Bradley mumbled under his breath, still in panic mode. - But good thinking! - you could only grab something and scream because another contraction came and almost knocked you out. - I'm so glad I won't have to give birth... - he realized what he said as soon as the words left his mouth. - No, no, no, no! I didn't mean it like that! I'll shut up now! - if looks could kill, you'd be currently in a car accident, because Bradley would have died behind the wheel.

You finally collected yourself enough to dial your husband's number and put your phone on speaker. And there was signal after signal; he wasn't answering. So you tried again. And again. Until you arrived at the hospital. Bradley jumped out of the car and helped moved you to a wheelchair, while your oby-gyn was checking how dilated you were.

- Thank you, guys! - you shouted at the firemen, who helped you get to the hospital in record time. Some of them waved at you, and a few gave you thumbs-up. - Hi doctor Montgomery! - you said when her hands were finally away from your... nether regions.

- Hi, y/n... I guess we're doing this early. Is Tom coming in? - she gave you a soft smile and took the latex glove off, while a nurse started wheeling you into the building.

- Bradley, grab my bag when you'll park the car! I'm in good hands! - you shouted behind you. Everything was happening so quickly that you had trouble processing what exactly was happening. - Honestly, doc... I don't know. He's doing... WAIT! - the nurse stopped immediately, and your doctor looked at you confused as you dialed another number on your phone. Someone crazy and maniacal enough to actually do what you'll ask. In the meantime, you pointed at the television in the waiting room, where your husband was currently speaking about the latest navy investment, 16 new choppers.

- MAV! You have no idea how happy I am you answered. How far you're from Tommy? - you asked; the nurse wanted to start moving again, but you swatted at his hand.

- I'm right there, why?

- Give him your fucking phone. Now.

- Now? He's on live TV... - he said cautiously.

- I know, I can see that. Do you honestly think that I would have asked if it wasn't imfuckING SHIT.... - another contraction came, and you felt your water finally breaking. Doctor Montgomery dove under your dress once again.

- Y/n, we have to move to a birthing room, you're 6cm dilated! - her voice told you there was no room for a discussion, and yet you still tried.

- One sec, doc! I promise! I'll be good, just let me tell him I'm in labor. - you saw Maverick showing up on the TV, whispering something in Tom's ear, away from the camera, and passing him the phone. - Tom! You got to come to St. Barts now if you don't want to miss the birth of our daughter. - you could see his face dropping on TV.

- Are you...? - he stuttered a bit, but you couldn't even savor this moment of him not being fully composed.

- I'm fine, Bradley drove me, my water broke, I'm 6cm dilated, and it's happening. Like right now. Little Ms. Kazansky decided to follow her dad's mantra that being early is on time, and on time is late. So get your ass here as soon as possible. - you were speaking faster than you thought possible, and yet he didn't have trouble understanding you.

- I apologize, there is an emergency. - you heard on the phone, and his lips followed with a slight delay on TV. You saw him taking off the mic, grabbing Mav by the elbow, and running toward the newest investment. You managed to catch the last sight of them actually entering one of the choppers before the view changed to someone in the studio. - I'll be there. - he said. - And now be good to doctor Montgomery. - you only laughed in response. - I'm hanging up now, because we're getting up in the air. I love you. - you couldn't help but smile.

- I love you too! - and now officially you could focus only on your labor. - You saw that dr. Montgomery? - you grinned, and the nurse started moving your wheelchair toward a birthing room again.

- I did! And if I'm being completely honest, that was impressive. Although I can't help but wonder where he'll land. - you laughed through pain. - Ok, let's get you out of that dress and into a gown... - she helped you get up and undress, and was ready with a hospital gown. She also helped you onto the bed.

- He's a fucking COMPACFLT, he'll figure something out. - you laughed, when you were finally in the correct position, while the nurses were attaching all EKGs and other stuff to you. - Sorry for the swearing, it actually helps with pain... - you mumbled, and leaned on the raised part of the beb. - I guess it's already too late for the epidural. - you savored those couple of minutes without any contractions.

- Unfortunately, yes. - dr. Montgomery put a drop of gel on your stomach and put a USG wand to it. She went silent for a moment, but eventually, she smiled. - Ok, everything looks perfect. She's in a perfect position, the umbilical cord is visible and out of the way, her heart rate is normal, and you're officially 7.5cm dilated. It looks like it's gonna be a quick one. - she explained and moved the USG machine out of the way. - Are you ready to do this...? - you heard a commotion outside of the room and Bradley's panicked and angry voice came through the closed door.

- You better let him in, because he honestly might break the door. - you laughed, avoiding replying to her question because you didn't want to start without your husband.

One of the nurses opened the door and Bradley almost fell to the floor.

- Y/N! Are you ok, what's going on? - he was holding your hand in an instant, but he chose a poor moment because another contraction hit you, and you couldn't help but squeeze your hands around his forearm as hard as you could. He let out a quiet squeal, but nothing more.

- I'm in labor. Without my husband next to me. That's what's going on! - you've said through gritted teeth.

- Y/N, she's crowning, you have to start pushing soon... - dr. Montgomery was serious, and yet your stubbornness wanted to fight her so badly. That was until you heard a chopper nearing the hospital.

- That's Ice and Mav, go get them! - you slapped Bradley's shoulder, and he followed your orders without even thinking of stopping and asking from where exactly he should get them. But that wasn't your problem now, because there was another contraction, and you really felt the need to push, but you did everything in your power not to... Just a few more minutes...

- Y/N, I'm serious, if you won't start pushing soon, you'll be putting your daughter in danger... - you looked at her worryingly and you clenched your jaw.

- He's gonna be here any second now... - you wanted to cry because you had a plan. And it just shattered to pieces. But you still were holding desperately to the most important part of it, and you just couldn't let it go. Not yet.

- I know, sweetie, I know... But when the next contraction comes, I really need you to push as hard as you can, ok? I'll let you know when that will be, but please be ready, ok...? - her tone of voice was kind and soft, and you finally nodded. - Great. I'm here for you, and Tom will be here before she'll be out, I can promise you that. - you smiled a bit and dried your forehead with your wrist.

- Ok. - you exhaled when the door to your birthing room slammed open and you saw Tom, who was currently more than out of breath and red in the face. You didn't even see Mav and Bradley behind him, completely focused on your husband, who basically teleported to your side.

- Contraction is coming... Are you ready...? - dr. Montgomery asked and you nodded, pulling your husband's arm close to your chest and holding it tightly, almost like a teddy bear. - Hi Tom. - she welcomed your husband but shushed the other two men from the room. It was a miracle that when the next contraction came, you didn't crush Tom's arm.

- Good, good! You're doing amazing! - the doctor smiled while checking the situation. - I can actually see the top of her ears now! Tom, if you want to, you can get behind Y/n on the bed, like we practiced. - you sighed heavily, too tired and in too much pain for expressing complicated emotions.

- I love you... - you whispered when Ice was behind you, and you leaned into his strong body, which relaxed you almost immediately; muscle memory working faster than your brain could. - And I'm really glad that you made it.

- I love you too... And we'll talk about everything later because Bradley mentioned something about a firetruck. - he chuckled and you couldn't help but join.

- Another contraction guys, be ready... - dr. Montgomery said, and Tom wrapped his arms around you and intertwined your fingers together, so you would have something to hold onto.

This time you cried because it was just too much... Your scream full of pain echoed in the small room, and you felt your husband's lips on your neck, which surprisingly helped. You leaned more into him, actively pressing against him with your whole body and you could feel his muscles tensing. You knew he was whispering something to your ear, but you were in too much pain to actually process what he was saying.

- And we have the head! - you couldn't help but laugh through tears because you knew the worst part was still ahead of you. The good thing was, that everything was happening so fast, your brain didn't have time to properly catch up to was happening, because you were still in managing the crisis mode. - Another contraction coming! - why the hell they were so close together!? And why the hell you didn't realize earlier that you needed to go to the hospital? You'd be all nice and numb, but instead, you were digging your nails deep into your husband's skin.

You didn't know where one scream ended, and another began because everything started blending together. There was a moment when you felt something cold being pressed to your forehead, and another to your lips, but you weren't sure who or why did that. It did help a little though.

- Ok, sweetie, one last time, the shoulders are almost out! - the promise in dr. Montgomery’s voice brought you down for just enough to focus on that one last push, and after the massive amount of pressure, there was almost an instant relief, and you heard your baby girl cry, which instantly made you sob.  You could also feel Ice shaking behind you. - Tom, do you want to get here and cut the cord? - you turned your head to look at him, and you could just tell that he didn't want to leave you alone even for a second.

- Doc...? I know we talked about it being 20-30 minutes, but I feel the need to push... Like NOW.

- Oh! Then push! Now! Is everyone ok with me cutting the cord? - both you and your husband nodded, and you started pushing again. This time it took less than a minute and your placenta landed in the intern's hands, while dr Montgomery was checking and measuring your daughter. - Damn, that was quick! I'm a little bit jealous, not gonna lie! - she came back and put your baby girl in your arms. - She's perfect, all fingers and toes present, she's 48cm tall and she weighs 3.1kg. Lungs are fully developed and everything else looks good. I would still like to run a few more tests later, just because she's here 2 weeks early, but in my professional opinion - she's gonna be perfect. - You were registering what she was saying, but your whole focus was on this beautiful baby girl in your arms. She wasn't crying anymore, just looking at you with beautiful silver eyes. You knew there was a chance that this color would change over the next couple of months, but they could also stay the same since they were almost a perfect copy of Tom's eyes.

- Hi... - you said softly, and gently touched her nose with your finger and she fussed a bit. - It's nice to finally see you face to face... - you whispered again, completely ignoring the nurses who were currently cleaning you up because it simply didn't matter.

- She's perfect... And you were amazing.... - Ice whispered directly into your ear, looking over your shoulder at your daughter. - She's so tiny... - he added and gently cupped her head

- Oh, she'll grow... - you couldn't help but laugh. Considering how tall Tom was compared to you, you were genuinely surprised that she wasn't bigger.

- Did you come up with a name...? - dr Montgomery asked while she was filling up your file, and you looked at your husband and smiled.

- Yes, yes we did... Astrea... - he said and hugged you just a bit tighter, and placed a small kiss on the top of your head.

- That's a very beautiful name... Now I know we talked about it in detail, but I'm just gonna repeat it one more time... Try to feed her in the next hour, and try to get as much sleep as possible. How is your pain? - dr. Montgomery asked while she finished your paperwork.

- It's... manageable, at least with all the endorphins... - you replied, still lost in your daughter's eyes.

- I'm going to prescribe you something for it, and the nurse should be here any moment to help you with everything. I'm gonna go now, but I will be checking on you. And if you'll need anything else, just ask the nurses to page me, all right? - she smiled at you and nodded. - Are you ok with visitors? - you nodded again, gently cleaning your baby's head and face with a towel. You knew it was best to wait with a bath for at least a day, but that didn't mean she would have to be covered with amniotic fluid for that time. She was so quiet and so well-behaved. She didn't cry, just moved her arms a little, and just looked at everything around the room with those beautiful silver eyes.

- Do you need anything, dove? - Tom asked from behind you, also completely enamored with this little creature in your arms. He just couldn't fathom how such a perfect little thing was his daughter.

- Just... Stay there, ok...? - you leaned into him more, and allowed your head to rest on his shoulder. You were sticky from sweat and tears, but none of you cared.

- I'm not going anywhere... - he laughed quietly, and you hummed feeling the familiar vibrations behind you, and they did wonders in making you feel safe. He gently moved your hair from your face, and you melted into his cold hand.

- Hey guyyysssss... - Bradley whispered, a bit afraid that if he said something louder, he might scare the baby.

- Hi... - you replied and beckoned both of them closer. - Meet Astrea... - you couldn't stop smiling when you put her head a bit higher, so they could see her better.

- Hi Astrea... - Bradshaw's voice was still barely a whisper - It's a pleasure to meet you...

- Actually... We have something to ask you, kid... - Ice said, while the younger man still couldn't take his eyes off your daughter. You talked about it in detail over the last month and agreed on that; you just didn't expect that would ask about it so quickly. - We would like you to be her godfather...

- Hmmm? - he hasn't processed the request yet, still completely focused on Astrea. It was fun to watch his face catching up to his thoughts. - Are you serious? - he finally looked at you, still convinced that it might have been a joke.

- We're serious. - you replied and gently squeezed his forearm. - We figured that Mav already will have his hands full with you, and considering what huge help you were during this last month, we know we can trust you, and that's what's most important. - you smiled at him and only now you noticed tears gathering in his eyes.

- Yes! Of course, I will be her godfather! - he finally raised his voice above a whisper, and Astrea immediately looked at him with her piercing eyes.

- Then it's settled... uncle Bradley... - only now you noticed that Mav also had trouble keeping his face straight.

Since that memorable dinner, you had a serious, almost 4h talk about this whole situation, and - if you were completely honest - you felt more like a therapist than a friend... And there were moments when he wasn't treating you seriously, because how could you understand such complicated circumstance. He wasn't entirely wrong... But fortunately in the end everything was dissected, and discussed, and you two made peace about your intervention.

- Whoa, a lot of people! Is mama ok with that? - the nurse came in and was instantly the focus of the room.

- More than ok, thank you. They're family. - you smiled at Mav, while he tried to discretely wipe the tears that gathered in his eyes. He hasn't said a word since he came in, and if you knew that seeing a baby would finally shut him up, you might have gotten one earlier.

- Ok then. - she replied with a giant smile on her face. - How do you feel about a shower, dear? - she asked, and you honestly couldn't think of a better proposition.

- I'd love that... Ice, do you want to take her...? - you asked, but you already knew the answer. Of course, he would. And he did without batting an eye, finally holding his daughter for the first time in his arms. The nurse helped you stand up and only now you realized how much everything hurt, and that there was fluid running down your legs. - Bradley, my bag? - you asked and he pointed at the armchair, where your purple bag was. 

- Are ok to take the shower alone, or would you like some help...? - the nurse asked, and you were far past any shame.

- Help would be great, thank you, because there is no chance I'm gonna reach everything. Also, doctor Montgomery was supposed to prescribe me something for pain...? - you've mentioned because you were slowly coming down from that high of endorphins that pushed you through the whole labor.

- I know dear, everything is ready. But in my opinion, it would be better if we waited with the IV after showering. Will you be able to wait till then? - you nodded, while you were taking your towel, toiletries, and your personal gown from the bag. - Ok, dad... Off the birthing bed, we're going to wheel it out and bring the regular one, with everything fresh. - the nurse offered you her arm for stabilization while she was bossing everyone else around, and as if she willed it into existence, two younger nurses came into the room and started quickly cleaning all the mess from the labor.

Before you entered the bathroom, you took one last look at your husband, in full uniform, now standing up and holding your daughter who looked tiny in his arms; you could have sworn that she was much bigger half an hour ago... Ice looked at you with a huge smile on his face and mouthed a short, soundless "I love you".

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting my brother to follow Islam?🐢

(Emoji so I can recognize my submission)

⚠WARNING⚠: This is a reaaal long one and also contains discussion of some potentially triggering subjects.

I'll try and explain this as concisely as I can but this is just a part of a long ongoing issue I have had with my brother. I (16F/X) have been at odds with my brother (19M) over a multitude of subjects. We debate often but the problem is he is very stubborn so the debates usually don't result in anything beyond me being frustrated and his opinions remaining unchanged. The problem is that he has unfortunately started going down a nazi rabbit hole and picking up all sorts of extremely harmful ideas. I'll list some of them for you so you can get a general picture: Denying evolution, the rothschild conspiracy, general antisemitism, transphobia, monarchism /facism, calling all sexual content filthy, misogynistic ideas, hating on atheists, etc. As an atheist who is also aroace, nonbinary and also very progressive, this makes me feel greatly uncomfortable. Let me be clear, I don't think I'm the asshole for opposing these ideas, the part where I could be the asshole is me opposing his transition into religion. A lot of his more radical ideas started sprouting after he started getting into Islam like the whole denying evolution thing and his rampant antisemetism. Also just to be clear, I have nothing against Muslims and I am not trying to say that Muslims inherently don't believe in basic science, it's just the particular circles that my brother has been exposed to that are giving him these ideas. However I will acknowledge the that it might be my own implicit bias that is making me reject his own interest in Islam. I'd also like to note my brother has been struggling with his health basically his entire teen life, where he has trouble sleeping, has barely any energy and this has led to him becoming depressed. He barely has any interests and those he had he's recently said he no longer enjoys. It's clear to me this is why such toxic ideas have appealed to him, because he feels disconnected and lonely. He barely goes out, he barely eats, he sleeps until the early afternoon, he has to shave and shower every single time he goes out and if he accidentally nicks himself while shaving he will adamantly refuse to go. It really upsets me to see him this way because I can tell he is suffering but he will never talk to me about it. However it doesn't change the fact that he has said some truly abhorrent things. I have tried many times to show him he's wrong or to gently guide him towards a more progressive and educated outlook but he is too stubborn to change.

This fully came to a head when we were having dinner together with our parents and he kept repeating the same arguments that god must be real because XYZ or, evolution is fake because XYZ and I would tell him why I disagreed with his reasoning. Continue in circles for two whole hours. This ended with me telling him that he was a dumbass and that he should stop watching religious content.

I feel I am an asshole here because just as I don't want to be forced into a religion, I shouldn't force him out of one, but I feel since he's picked up religious ideas he's only gotten worse. Just yesterday he officially became a Muslim at a nearby mosque. I feel I should be happy for him but I can already see problems that may arise. He has to do 5 prayers (salat) a day at certain times and this morning he slept through two. I also worry about Ramadan since he's already very skinny and barely eating, I don't think further fasting will help at all.

Even worse, he's been spreading some of his ideas to my parents. They don't take on all his BS thankfully but they have absorbed some of the more troubling stuff, particularly his transphobia. I try to avoid queer topics as much as I can for this reason but whenever it does come up I always feel sick just sitting there listening to them.

Yet again I want to reiterate that Muslims are not a monolith and do not all share the same opinions but an unfortunately high number are greatly opposed to the idea of queer people. Not to mention many hold strong beliefs regarding the strict divisions of male and female. I don't know. Yet again, it could just be accidental Islamophobia on my part but I don't think it's a coincidence that he started getting more extreme once he got into particular Muslim circles.

So tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ultfreakme]

Hi! I have a question, I hope I can explain myself: how would you describe Gojo on a moral level? I see the majority of the fandom (jjk in general, not just the shipping ones) considers him a good person, but I'd argue he's more on the grey side...and not a light grey. See, I can't really wrap my head around the way he blatantly ignores the fact the Suguru was completely fucked up, to the point that in chap 236 he wishes Suguru was with him before fighting Sukuna and imagining him (adult Suguro, the fucked up one) together with the same students he tried to kill in jjk0. How on earth? If I'm not mistaken Gojo never really says "yeah, Suguru was my friend but he used to be completely different, this is not the Suguru I used to be friends with". He never says Suguru was wrong. He just misses him, even though he was surrounded by people who liked him. At least Shoko clearly doesn't feel any affection towards Suguru. And let's not talk about the way he doesn't really seem concerned about the future of his students in chap 236. What do you think? Just to clarify: I do like Gojo. But I don't share the sentiment of the rest of the fandom: he's not a good person. I guess Nanami was right

This one's a question I'm still thinking about that makes me go in circles Anon.

Initially, I had assumed that morality was defined by intentions. It's easy to see that a person is good when it's someone like Yuuji, there's an innate drive in him to do what is right, the same applies for Megumi who wants to save good people, and Nanami.

Gojo doesn't have this innate drive, taking the right decision does not come naturally to him. He's calculative and needs to rely on others around him to discern what's right and wrong, especially in high school. So you could say he's not a good person, but when you look at his actions, they are driven to save people and ultimately his actions sum up to an overall positive imo.

I don't think Gojo can really comprehend the purpose of saving people the way 'regular' people do because of how far-removed he is due to his powers. It's not that he hates people, he's simply indifferent to the act of heroism or saving people because the loss of a life is not going to wreck him the way it does Yuuji. But through Geto, he realizes that despite not understanding this, he still needs to try and take a stance because if he doesn't, the few people he does care about are going to be affected, and those weaker than him(the Jujutsu Tech higher-ups, curse users like Toji) are going to take advantage of him.

He says he wants the higher-ups to stop with their destructive, outdated ways. To do so, he teaches his students to be stronger, not only to overthrow the old ways but also to protect themselves. So they don't die like his old friends did. He also wanted them to grow stronger so he can finally openly care about someone on equal terms.

It's selfish, but the motive to protect the people you care about, isn't that technically morally good? But he does go to extremes or is on the verge of it. To stop that, he uses others' morality as a scale.

Geto was the person he used to figure out what value the people he doesn't give a shit about hold. Gojo ends up embodying the ideologies Geto used to say, "the strong must protect the weak". It's not because he truly believes it and the lack of this ideology actually infuriates him, it's rather that it's what Geto used to believe. Geto was someone he considered to be on his level, so despite not understanding the mechanics or the empathy involved in that ideology, Gojo adopted it because this is the one guy who can communicate that desire to protect someone to him.

And I think Gojo was quickly understanding that as we see through his consideration and wish to protect Riko. But this understanding quickly became disconnected with her death and his rapid ascension to higher levels of power, making him even more distant. So now he's starting from scratch, relying on Geto's morality even more.

And when Geto leaves him, Geto's apparently completely flipped.

So I thought "then why isn't Gojo following Geto anymore?". And I think it's because when Geto reverses his morals, he didn't explain it to Gojo. On top of that, now their power difference puts them on different levels.

Now Gojo is left with the shadow of what Geto's ideologies used to be, and he understands that to an extent. He doesn't understand Geto now and he's blocked off. So he embraces the shadow, the traces of the morality he did understand and crafts his decisions based on this framework.

He also doesn't condemn Geto because the last time they truly understood each other's grief was with the death of Riko. Gojo knows how much that event changed himself and Geto, he understands the pain of failure and the things it can do to you. And because of this, he can never hate him. This would mean putting an ideology or morality above himself. That's impossible since Gojo's morality is secondary and detached from the core of who he is.

Gojo, to the core of what he is, will care about Geto. The same way he once cared about Riko making it out alive, or his desire for a fight that makes him go all out as with Sukuna.

Gojo's ideology and morality is a tool he uses to assess and aid the world around him, given to him.

The best way I can say it is, if you take away Yuuji's sense of morality, he stops being Itadori Yuuji. But if you take away Gojo's sense of morality, he'd still recognizably be Gojo Satoru.

Does this make Gojo a bad person? I don't think so tbh. Because an innate sense of morality and desire to save people can turn absolutely horrible(re: Geto), and those who are able to detach themselves from everything can choose actions that lead to greater good.

What do we then, define a "good person" by? Internal thoughts? Actions? Both?

Gojo's 'goodness' and 'badness' is not conventional, and I personally think people who make the right choice through logic though they feel nothing in their heart or soul at the sight of wrongness still are good people. It's hard to actively choose the right thing when there isn't this sinking feeling guiding you. He doesn't condemn or even stop Geto, but he fights him, he protects his students and he wants these kids to live. He even tells Ijichi to go into a manager role because he doesn't want him to die. He does care about his students, that's what I got from reading the chapter tbh, he can't help it if Sukuna is legit stronger than him. He's the one who arranged for a baseball game for the kids instead of 1v1 for the second half of the exchange event. He cares in his won weird, detached way that's probably following guidelines from others. He calls them flowers/plants but he wants them to grow stronger and believes they can take care of themselves now.

Goodness is a choice. Gojo chooses to do the right thing at the end of the day like 9/10 times. So yeah he might not condemn Geto, but neither does Nanami(he still respects the man and he doesn't even have that for GOJO). Shoko doesn't either technically, she walks out of the meeting Yaga calls to stop Geto in JJK0 and talks about him on the same level as Gojo when thinking about them during the Sukuna v Gojo fight.

I think he's a good person, but I understand why people would think otherwise.

[josukegappyhigashikata]

The finalist duos: Hero vs Villain

In both the previous seasons of Disventure Camp, not taking Adventure since it was still quite not in the quality that the other seasons have, we have the finalists be opposites to each other in their narrative.

Miriam and Fiore.

This is probably the easiest one... Miriam came to the show just to get herself a quick distraction, not interested in making bonds or connections (connection being a key word when talking about relationships in DC) she acted rude to characters and dismissed all chances of approach that until Jake's meltdown after hearing the news of his grandmother's passing which this time Miriam was the one that approached Jake she was the one that made the first step and then she connected with Tom too. Not only did she bond with Jake and Tom but her sympathetic new outcome let her convince Ellie to join her to take down Alec which led them to convince Fiore later on.

Fiore on the other side? She was the extreme opposite of Miriam, where Miriam came shrewdly? Fiore came with fake smiles and her innocent little girl persona. She made fake bonds with all her teammates that quickly crashed down since they weren't built on anything. The only real bonds she made were with Ellie, Grett and Alec characters that she did have some common ground with and in the case of Ellie and Alec we know she has some consideration especially for Alec as she grew to actually care for him. And what happened to that? She threw all of them under the bus. She severed all her ties with the people she had connected with through the show.

This easily puts them as obvious narrative foils, Fiore couldn't access anyone's help in the finale meanwhile Miriam's bonding easily led her to winning.

Miriam started at her lowest point after the death of her husband and son but after opening up she found a new family and people that helped her to win which she is shown to enjoy the money with Jake who stayed at her side.

James and Riya.

James and Riya's opposition is more symbolic than literal since they're characters that both started in similar spots but ended on opposite sides.

James entered the show desperate for more attention, attention that he craved desperately after feeling invincible all his life which is weirdly similar to Riya since she never got a chance to showcase her talent as an actress leading her to take whatever roles she could just to keep her career as an actress. They both even entered the show for the same exact reason, exposition on TV.

But what happened in the middle of their stories? Riya was left alone and disconnected from the groups until she found herself befriending Rosa María and Lake but the game got to her, she severed such bonds to the point of making what's considered by me the lowest act somebody had done in the show which was accusing Rosa of theft. Riya got infected by Karol's anger and she let herself be influenced into making wrongs just for the win to the point of ultimately severing her relationship with Connor during the finale even when he gladly joined to help her.

And on the other side you have James, James who attempted to enter a romantic relationship with Aiden (a literal showmance for the reality TV aficionados) just to get more following after finding out that Tom and Jake had gotten popular online thanks to their relationship in the previous season. This led to James bonding with Aiden genuinely as he was approaching the other guy and that relationship became genuine, James started actually falling for Aiden which led to the one thing he had always looked for which was to be seen.

After Riya exposed James he was left at his lowest point which led to Rosa María helping James as she couldn't stand the idea of somebody being left on their own and thanks to her encouragement and later that true bond between him and Aiden, which led Lake to help James, he was given the last push to win the competition.

Now, we are left to see who will rise to become the ultimate villain and hero duo of All Stars. Who will serve as narrative foils to each other's journey throughout this season of Disventure Camp? I don't think that the writers do this with full intentions of leaning into it but since the themes of the show are set to be about bonding, connection and what people do with such it seems appropriate that the characters that end up in the final are the ones that oppose each other when it comes to those topics.

[cellythefloshie]

;; Everybody Talks 500 Follower Celebration

Summary: Dating Gabe is too complicated, but he's not ready to call it quits. Word Count: 1.6k+

It started with a whisper, and that was when I kissed her.

The buzz of your cell phone was insistent. Repetitive. Annoying. So. Fucking. Annoying. It was all you could hear as you stood, elbow-deep in dishwater, at the sink in your kitchen. A symphony of cutlery dragging against steel, ceramic plates meeting pots and pants, and water rushing into the sink as you washed each dish free of suds surrounded you. Yet all you could hear was the buzz of each text and every notification that lit up your screen. And you fucking hated it. 

You just wanted a moment of peace. Silence. A moment to feel alone, but you never get it. Hell, you couldn’t remember a single time where you had felt that relief and you could only think of one reason. Gabe. 

You had been in an on-again-off-again relationship with Colorado Avalanche Captain Gabriel Landeskog for almost a year. It had started out as a fling, and part of you wished it had stayed that way. But those late-night phone calls and midnight rendezvous could only happen so many times before you were waking up in his bed instead of catching a cab home. Before you were packing a bag to spend part of his off-season with him on a tropical island getaway. You should have loved the little luxuries that didn’t feel like luxuries anymore. There was so much good to be with Gabe, but it also came with its pitfalls. Pitfalls that made it all too hard to commit to something serious with him. 

The hockey player lifestyle left you intimidated. He was gone more often than he was at home, and the game, the sport, his team, was always the priority. You couldn’t be the center of his world, because you would always be a mistress to his first love: hockey. 

Playing on the national stage left Gabriel with a certain level of status. He was recognizable, beloved in the city of Colorado and adorned by his home country of Sweden, but not quite a celebrity. Which you were thankful for. The two of you could travel and often go unrecognized, but he had his following. 

Die-hard fans would recognize their captain in the streets, which was the least of your worries. It was the people who flocked to his social media pages that really bothered you. Gabriel was a handsome man. Anyone could notice it, and you would be a liar if that wasn’t the very reason you had slept with him the first time after meeting him at a local bar. The most extreme of them all invaded his comments with shameless words. Sexualizations and fantasies were the very definition of too much information and it bled into your own social media account, too. 

It had only taken one tag of you in a photo with Gabe for them to find you. Your follower count had quadrupled in mere days, as they had hoped to catch a glimmer of Gabe in your stories and in your posts. Then came the comments. The pleas of needing to know if the two of you were dating. The statements that he could do so much better than you. 

So you privatized your accounts. And then you ghosted Gabe. 

When it became too much, you had always recoiled. You couldn’t commit to the chaos that came with being in his life, and because of that, you had been ignoring his calls for days. Hence came forth the insistent buzzing of your phone against the countertop. He was trying to call you. To text you. To reach you, ‌but you ignored it all. You couldn’t fit yourself into his lifestyle. You had all but accepted that even if he hadn’t yet. 

In time, the calls would fade like they always did, and you could move on. 

The sink gargled as you withdrew the plug, the soapy water draining and your wet hands finding the hand towel to dry off. With the dishes done, your responsibilities for the day were done and you could finally disconnect. 

Your hand reached for your phone out of habit, your outstretched hand stopping halfway as it vibrated again. It rattled on the countertop, the bright glow of a notification bright against the surface it was face down on. You should have grabbed it just to turn it off, but you were waiting for a delivery and Amazon always called. 

So you left your phone there, on the counter, and disappeared into the bedroom. You changed out of your clothes and into something a little more comfortable. Then, you prepared for your nightly routine and an episode of your favourite show on Netflix, but it was all interrupted by a knock on your apartment door. 

“Just a second!” you said, calling out to whoever stood on the other side as you grabbed your robe. 

Must have missed the call, you thought to yourself as you pulled on your robe and made quick strides to the front door. You didn’t even think to look through the spyhole before you reached for the handle, and you regretted it instantly. It wasn’t a delivery man who waited for you on the other side of the door, but Gabe. 

Shit. 

In the shock of it all, you only had one response: to close the door, But Gabe was quick to place his hand firm against the surface, holding it open so effortlessly. Though you weren’t fighting hard to close it. You weren’t mad at him; you had just thought ghosting him would be easier. He thought otherwise. 

“What did I do this time?” he asked. 

It almost made you laugh, your head shaking from side to side slowly as you brought your free hand up to rest against your forehead. No matter the reason, Gabe was always quick to blame himself for his distance. He never was the one to blame, yet he always came singing the same tune. And he wasn’t leaving without answers. 

Taking a step to the side, you clutched your robe shut and welcomed him inside. It was as he crested through the door you offered your explanation. “It’s not you Babe-” 

You winced. Even you had a hard time trying to cut him off. You loved him, you really did, but the toxicity of the fandom wasn’t worth it.

“I’m not cut out for any of this,” you said, your words a heavy sigh that shook your shoulders. 

Gabe met you with a confused stare. You had eased into his life so effortlessly on the surface, but he didn’t know of the struggles you were having. 

Sighing, you nodded towards your phone on the counter. “Take a look. Start with Instagram and you won’t need to see anything else to understand.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, the two of you stood in the kitchen together as he went through your Instagram account and saw it all. The comments, the direct messages, the intrusive words and threats you had faced all without being official. 

“I had no idea,” he breathed out, his hand discarding your phone on the counter before they found the curves of your body. 

Gabe’s hands settled on your hips and pulled you into him. So close you could feel the heat of his body as he leaned in to place a careful kiss on your forehead. 

You should have pulled away to maintain the distance you had so desperately been trying to create, but there was no feeling that compared to being held in his arms. There was no feeling like his kiss against your skin. 

“Everybody’s going to talk, baby, but it’s something we can work through together, okay?” he whispered to you as his hands slid up the angles of your body. 

His touch wrinkled at your pyjamas, getting a touch of skin on his way up to cradle your face in his hands. As he held you, his hands angling your head just right to look at him, he spoke his piece. “I just don’t want to be playing these games anymore.”

It was an ultimatum. The two of you could navigate it all together, but that was the catch. You needed to commit to him. To be his. No more running away when things got too tough. Or, he could walk away, you could forget every struggle you had used as an excuse to not be together, and never see him again. 

The choice was yours, but you needed to make it now. 

Saying yes to him would mean saying yes to the distance. To the time you would spend apart during the season. You would have to withstand all the gossip and every bit of unwanted attention that came with being his girlfriend. It meant saying yes to uncertainty. To risk of having to move to a new city, and to the struggles that came with the injuries he could face on the ice. But it wouldn’t all be bad. 

There was so much good too. You had lived through glimmers of it already. He had taken you to parts of the world you couldn’t even pronounce, and you had made friends would have never connected with if it hadn’t been for Gabe. And his love. He loved you so tenderly, so fiercely, and you loved him too. 

And with that thought, in that moment, you decided. A silent, careful nod telling him, yes. A glimmer of light ignited in his eyes, a smile curling over his lips as he leaned in to place a slow and careful kiss on your lips, and you let him. 

[sunbeamedskies]

Darth Vader/Friends with Detriments

Writing about all this stuff really helps remind me my life is a continuous flow instead of disjointed parts. There are distinct phases of course, but lately I have felt like I’m in such a new place in my life that I’ve felt disconnected from both the wonderful and awful times I’ve had in the past

A conversation came up recently I got involved in about men and women being friends. I’ve had tons of friendships with men where neither of us had any attraction to each other. I’m very much of the view men and women can easily be friends and will elaborate more about it in a future post. But the conversation did remind me of the messiest friendship with a man I’ve ever had and made me ponder how much it affected me

It’s astounding when you realize something is far enough in the past you can now analyze it with a brand new sense of clarity. It’s also a bit of a mindfuck to know if I actually become a famous writer in the future, the people who knew the guy I’m about to write about, along with the guy himself, will probably one day read this

I met a guy my junior year of college who became my closest guy friend ever for a few years. All my life, I had wanted a close guy friend, my only close friends ever having been girls previously. I felt I would get along well with guys, but just hadn’t had the opportunity yet. In high school I had had some guy friends, but we hadn’t been super close. It’d always bothered me. I felt like I was missing out

We met when he came to my new living-learning community dorm’s hallway and was messing around with something right outside my door. Me and my roommate either came out into the hall or already were there, I don’t quite remember. He was staring at her, and I instantly knew he liked her. I also instantly felt like I already knew him from a past life

Very soon afterwards, I was sitting on the top bunk of our bunk beds when my roommate told me she was going to check out his room, with the guy in question nearby, and she asked if I wanted to tag along. Knowing he probably wanted to hook up with her and thinking maybe she wanted to as well, I declined. It was strange- although I found him very attractive, I didn’t feel any jealousy like I normally would have at the time (I was extremely insecure and all around “off” that year)

The guy looked like Hayden Christensen, who was one of my childhood crushes. Due to it, for the rest of this post, I will refer to him as Hayden. I didn’t blame him for liking my roommate- her hair was thick and long, like I’d always wanted on myself. Actually, I had recently needed to cut my hair because the stress of the last year had made me comb it while it was tangled in a way which was not careful at all, causing me to yank some of it out. But even coupled with the hair jealousy, for whatever reason, I was unbothered when he hooked up with her

He hooked up with a lot of girls. I didn’t really see him as a “player” though because I felt like that term was already outdated, that people were more complex than that. People felt freer to hookup when they were single and have fun in general at the time, as they do today. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t be dedicated when in a monogamous, committed relationship- it was just their single behavior. If I had had more opportunities back then, and if my life had played out a little differently, perhaps I would’ve been a similar way

I barely knew him for that entire first year, but I craved being friends with him. I did have a tiny crush on him, but in my mind there was no way we would ever get together in any way. I thought he would be an interesting friend to have based on what I knew of his personality, but it felt unlikely I’d ever really get to know him even as a friend

We started chatting on Facebook occasionally over the summer. I forget exactly what prompted it, but he said he used to think I was crazy based on what my former roommate- who had been partially sheltered- said about me doing things like tarot, but now thought I was awesome (he had also been somewhat sheltered through being raised religiously Christian.) I couldn’t believe we were actually becoming friends

The next year we lived in the same dorm building in our living learning center (LLC.) I found out pretty quickly he had just started dating a beautiful, stylish girl he had gone to high school with but hadn’t known well there who was also living in our LLC. She seemed really cool, but this time, I felt some jealousy. She was also very slender, something I’ve always had trouble achieving due to my polycystic ovarian syndrome (I’ve finally found a healthy way to lose weight steadily nowadays, but it’ll still take some time to reach my goals.) I hated that I felt jealous of her. It’s not like I even expected to date him, but there was still a small crush lingering, and that combined with my lack of experience at the time got to me 

They broke up pretty quickly, and she and I became good friends for a while. Turns out she had had a crush on Hayden in high school and was a little mind blown she actually dated him for a short while in college. Whenever I’ve been jealous of a girl and then become friends with them, it’s always drilled into me how dumb jealousy is. She was so nice, and there was a part of her which thought it was crazy she really ended up dating her former high school crush. I still get jealous of girls sometimes, but I have more perspective now to know it’s silly and try to remind myself of that

Slowly at first, then rapidly, Hayden and I became best friends. Part of me couldn’t believe we had gotten so close after not knowing each other well for a whole year before, but the part of me which felt like I already knew him when I met him was not as surprised. Underneath those good looks, he was a secret weirdo. I should’ve known- we had both chosen to live in the same artsy/hippie/hipster/nerdy dorm community LLC, after all- our university’s living, breathing embodiment of Tumblr

We became so close that everyone in the dorm community just started associating us with each other. One time when I was looking for him, a girl in one of the lounges- without me asking or saying anything- said “you just missed him!” Another girl who was dating a guy who lived on the same floor as Hayden kept mistakenly calling me his girlfriend. To this day, she still probably incorrectly believes we were ever together

One night he got drunk with a mutual friend in his room. I was there too, but was not drunk because I didn’t drink. While he was staring at his computer, he said to himself after referencing me, “I think I might be falling in love with you.” It was said so casually yet thoughtfully, as if he was talking to himself and had forgotten anyone else was in the room. Our other friend- who was also drunk and did not know Hayden well enough at all to know if he had feelings for me- said something like “uh, I’m here to make sure he doesn’t say anything dumb haha.” This was the first time I’d ever heard anyone utter aloud they might be in love with me, and it was my attractive best friend

I freaked out for a week or two. I knew I was not in love with him, but I wasn’t sure if I should tell him what he said, give him a chance, and try dating him. I asked my friends if the truth really does come out when people are drunk. They had mixed answers, but I knew that based on how he’d said it, in this instance it was probably true. I blasted She Said She Said by The Beatles constantly as I walked across campus. The rough guitars, the melody, and the lyrics all hit just the right spots for someone as confused as me. “Cause you’re making me feel like I’ve never been born” echoed through my head. One of my college best friends who I’m still best friends with says she thinks about me whenever she hears it because she knew I played it all the time

If I had written a story, it would have been such a fun little plot twist to write a guy falling for the roommate of the girl he had hooked up with a couple times, the girl he’d kind of ignored at first but then fell in love with without ever even kissing her. It felt miraculous, but was simultaneously one of the hugest disappointments I’d ever endured. I knew he was somewhat toxic and judgmental, that he didn’t experience the world similarly enough to me and didn’t have the goal to treat people with compassion and openness that I had. I’ve always had a thing for hippies, and he was not one, no matter what dorm he lived in. Sure, we related on a very deep level regarding some strange strains of thought and our senses of humor, but I knew deep down that dating him would have been unhealthy

The funny thing is that I didn’t even have a crush on him throughout a good portion of our friendship as it progressed. It was a very on and off crush, and I felt it was similar for him. I never told him what he said that night, and I don’t think our other friend remembered it either. There came a couple of times when he talked about the possibility of us being together, and I told him the truth- that I didn’t feel like he was able to be in touch with his feelings enough and feel things as intensely as I thought I probably would whenever I got into a relationship with someone someday

College was supposed to be where things finally happened for people dating-wise. Movies, music, and everyone had implied such. There had been absolutely nothing for me in high school, and here I was in college, getting so close but making the mature decision to not enter into a relationship- or even hookup- with someone I knew was trouble, as Goddess Swift sang at the time. It made me feel like whenever I get close to having even one single solitary hookup with anyone I like in the future, something will usually prevent me from getting to it

For instance, last summer I had my first ever Eurotrip. I had wanted to at least kiss someone during the trip, but nothing had happened yet. My very last night, I was in Madrid and arrived at a language exchange a little late. Almost immediately, a hot guy and I struck up a conversation. He and his friend invited me to join them at a pub long before the language event was over. While we were walking there, the one of them I was not into told me they both thought I was beautiful. Very good sign- right? My negative ass started telling myself that something was going to go wrong, that although a normal person would have a 90%+ likelihood of having a good night in that situation, it was probably only 70% for me. Oh, the guy who I’m not attracted to is probably the one who likes me and his friend is just being his wingman, I thought to myself. The guy who I was very attracted to showed interest though, and I mustered up the courage to tell him twice that I was into him and not his friend. Spoiler alert: it was a good night :)

There are more experiences which have compounded the feeling that a lot of things just won’t work out to get to even the most basic level of anything since Hayden. I know it’s largely a result of me being stranded in a city where I didn’t fit in and where I also didn’t have a traditional job for so long. Logically, I know it’s a result of some very unideal circumstances. I have done a good job of regaining some of my old confidence and positivity, but I’m still working on it. There have been times over the years where I’ve been hopeful, confident, unbothered, and others when I didn’t feel quite like myself and felt like anything even hookup-y was just not going to happen. Even over the past week, I have felt more and more confident after feeling a little negative. Being in a city I love is making me realize a lot is possible, though the first month left me feeling a little off due to the difficulties that not drinking brings me when it comes to opportunities with people at clubs/parties/etc

It's kind of silly to expect everything to begin in college, so if you’re reading this and in college- don’t worry about it. A lot of guys liked me in college who I didn’t like- it’s not as though there weren’t technically other opportunities- I just wasn’t into them and was not going to waste my or their time dating guys I wasn’t interested in. That one other friend in the dorm room with Hayden actually sent me a text a while later telling me he thought I was beautiful, and I thanked him. It was very sweet, but I just wanted to be friends. He couldn’t really look me in the eye the next time we caught up like a year later though, and I felt bad. I’m always honored when someone likes me, even if I don’t feel the same. There is no need for embarrassment

As the title of this post suggests, Hayden unfortunately turned more and more into Darth Vader as time went on. He got more judgmental and mean and alienated a lot of his friends over the years. I stood by him for a long time as his other friends dumped him, but then when I had to move back to where I grew up, he abruptly stopped talking to me. I should have expected it by the way he had treated some of his other friends, but it still shocked me for a while. I was so depressed at the time that I really could have used his support

We rarely talked after that. In one text I admitted I used to like him and he was surprised. I didn’t feel that way and hadn’t for a long time, but I felt the need to be honest. The last time he messaged me, I decided I didn’t really want to talk to him at all again unless it was an emergency. His life has changed a lot and so has mine, and I don’t feel like I know who he is anymore. It has nothing to do with feelings, but rather about his continued potential toxicity towards others. I barely even think about him nowadays, so writing this whole post was a teensy bit odd

Our friendship, despite its downs and complications, was still great in a lot of ways. The good times will always be a treasured part of my college memories. I used to jokingly ask people what friends with detriments would consist of, what the opposite of friends with benefits is. I realize now that maybe I was friends with detriments with Hayden throughout some of our friendship. It was never a situationship and there were definitely no “benefits” involved, but there were some strange negatives and on and off liking. It would make sense that the opposite of FWB would be platonic and difficult- right?

Have a happy Thanksgiving I guess by the way- I hope you enjoyed reading this after getting away from any family members with detriments

Love,

J

[mas-o-kissed]

Syscovery timeline for my own reference but posting here too in case this helps other ppl (tw for vague mention of trauma and self harm)

Early childhood stuff blah blah trauma etc. etc., I’ve experienced dissociation for as long as I can remember, and even though it’s not something I’m aware of experiencing now, I know that I did have full blackout amnesia a few times in my childhood with others taking over (I know of this happening because there were consequences)

Middle school I remember being aware of Navy fronting and getting very scared. I did a lot of like… stuff to myself with the goal of behavioral modification (keeping journals of the day’s events and self harming as consequences of unwanted actions). EDIT: To be clear, Navy was not doing the self-harming stuff. I was scared of him because his presence made me feel out of control, and “self-training” was our (Red and my) deeply unhealthy way of trying to avoid that feeling.

I think this may be when Red came about because to our knowledge she was an abuser introject and persecutor. This was also around the time I stopped seeing childhood abuser regularly. I felt like I was being guided in punishments to keep us safe.

Red was a constant presence throughout high school but only fronted in emergency situations. She was usually like… on my head talking to me and she looked like a little bunny. I thought that she and Navy were just one guy.

Late high school I became aware of Navy and Red as separate but I have no idea how. Lol. I just remember we all decided on name designations (mine is teal). I know I was aware of them because I remember drawing them and talking to them.

College was extremely lonely and we had very clear communication during this period. We felt it was very unsafe for Navy to be near front but we all needed an outlet so we started a vent blog lol. This is notable because it’s something concrete I can look back on.

I will mention that even though we were online we told no one, reached out to no one, and did not know what plurality was. I have no idea if it was really being discussed around this time? Which was like. 2013. I thought they were just really, really vivid imaginary friends and that I was a lil freak for having them.

Mid way through college we had a really intense period of dissociation. I think we experienced a split and the person fronting during this time did so for like a year and a half. It was very, very confusing. I distinctly remember the moment of returning to my body and after that the memories of that whole period kind of blurred so I don’t remember a lot of it. We still don’t know who that guy was and I don’t know if he’s around anymore. Like maybe we split and then re-fused together? Is that a thing idk

After this communication with others was really low. And after a while I kind of just. Disconnected from the memories of them. And had no idea I had forgotten anything.

I learned that plurality is a thing like. Very recently. I’ve known about DID for a long time but it clearly does not match my experience and I had thought that was the only way plurality could manifest.

Met some systems and memories slowly began to unlock as we talked to them about their own experiences

Realized that the reason certain characters we were roleplaying as felt so cathartic was because they were… Navy’s! That’s his guy. Our guy. Whatever. (I’m talking about Big Boss Imp).

Been really back and forth on denial about it. And we find that if we talk about certain things we will start feeling weird and disoriented. But!

We learned about PDID and ever since seeing that we feel a lot more. Legitimate. Like we are allowed to be this. Because there is a diagnosis that feels like it fits our experience. Not that it’s even a diagnosis in the US and thus not something we could actually seek! Lol. But since then it feels like I’m “allowed” to talk about it more.

(I am not saying that you need a diagnosis to talk about experiences. I am saying that our?? Gatekeeper?? I guess?? Really did not like us talking about it, but since making that discovery it feels like it’s a lot easier. That’s what I mean by “allowed.” Lol)

[jgnico]

You know, for me, the best jujutsu kaisen villain is Geto Suguru, he's very well constructed, but he was very poorly used, he only lasted the film, it's a shame, I wish he had more screen time

I think part of what makes Geto such a good character is the fact that we don't get a lot of him, which leaves us room to fill in the gaps, so to speak.

What I mean by this is that in vol0, we're introduced not only to him but also his beliefs when they're at their most extreme, which leaves us with the question of "Why is he like this? Has he always been like this?" And vol0 only answers one of those questions - the latter - by the time that he dies. We learn through his conversation with Gojo at the end that, no, he wasn't always like this. His relationship with Jujutsu Society used to be different, so much so that Gojo says that he still trusts him and considers him his one and only best friend.

But we're still left with the question of why his viewpoint and plans are so extreme and what happened to make them that way, which we don't get the answer to for over 70 chapters, while the time between his defection/paradigm shift and his actions in vol0 are mostly left in the dark for us to speculate over. We're given the beginning and end of his story, but not the middle, which leaves us to create that middle for ourselves and, in the case of his fans, do our own work to endear him to us.

Personally, I like that Gege did this because Geto's character and ideology can easily become something that overstays its welcome. Don't forget that he's still a character that views people that are weaker than him -- the non-sorcerers -- as lesser and actively wants to wipe them out, even if doing so means that the people that he's doing it for --the sorcerers -- die in the process. Spending too much time focused on a character like that can quickly make that character unlikable by taking away the disconnect between who he was and who he became.

I've said a few times that teen Geto would have hated adult Geto, and I still think that's true. That gap between the two is important, especially when teen Geto had already started to turn toward adult Geto's viewpoint by the time he made his exit from the series. What's left between those two points is nothing pretty, imo, it's a spiral into extremism.

[laurelsofhighever]

11, 10, and 3 for your dragon age ocs?

Thank you for asking!

3. Opinion on blood magic? Rosslyn Cousland (my only non-mage OC) - she's seen the horrors blood magic can unleash, the harm it can do, and what it takes to stop a blood mage on the rampage. While her heritage and upbringing make her more tolerant of magic in general than most nobles, practicing blood magic is something she feels deserves the strictest punishment Melissa Hawke - doesn't touch the stuff. When she was younger not being a blood mage was a way she justified her family's freedom - the Chantry had no right to come after her or her sister because she wasn't a threat to society, unlike the maleficar the revered mother was always going on about. When she got to Kirkwall and life got more complicated, yes she saw the worst it could do, but being a mage herself she understands that it's just another tool and most of the time it's only wielded as an act of desperation. It's also a lot more nuanced than the Chantry likes to pretend, though that's not an opinion she goes shouting around the place. Maighread Trevelyan - Used blood magic once, when there was no other choice and she had no other way to defend herself. She hated the feeling of it, and it's a massive source of guilt, but she also hates the hypocrisy in the Chantry - the templars use blood magic for pylacteries, and there were treatises in the Circle library about its applications in healing if only it could be studied safely. Over her years with the Inquisition she gains an academic appreciation for it as a branch of magic and a source of knowledge, and while she considers the price too high to use again, part of her wonders whether she'd turn to it again if she were desperate enough.

10. Are they good horse riders? Rosslyn is a certified Horse Girl(TM). She learned to ride as part of her martial training and is extremely competent in the saddle, and before her life got derailed her plan was to start a stud to improve the Fereldan Forder breed. Melissa is... passable, if the horse isn't too excitable. She learned to ride on the farm's cob, which was used for all the heavy pulling and was very placid, but years in Kirkwall means there's not much need for horses and she's much more comfortable walking. Maighread spent most of her life in the Circle, so apart from a few very early lessons before her magic manifested, she didn't learn to ride until she joined the Inquisition. With all the travelling she learned pretty quickly, and in many cases she prefers horses to people because they're less complicated (she may also be a bit of a soft touch when it comes to her own mount). Because it was deemed necessary in case of ambush, Cullen and Cassandra made sure she was drilled in the basics of battle riding, and though she's not the best, she's pretty good at keeping her seat

11. What are their religious beliefs, if any? Rosslyn was raised with Chantry teachings, though the influence of her mother's people meant there were hints of older tales. After the attack on Highever, what little faith she had in the Maker dissolved and she turned to the Alamarri gods instead. It's not belief as such, but she keeps the rituals that show them respect, and heeds the signs they choose to give her when she needs guidance Melissa maybe believes that Andraste had good intentions, but growing up there was always a disconnect between what the revered mother preached and her own experiences so she became disillusioned very early on. She doesn't think much about religious beliefs beyond how Meredith twisted them to suit her paranoia, but then she thinks the Qun is just as bad. Maighread's perspective is that if the Maker is real, he's not worth bothering with, either because he's not powerful enough to stop bad things happening, or because he's a callous, sadistic prick. She understands that others gain comfort from their belief, but its all a bit distant, and she's allowed to be salty because religion only ever told her she was evil for existing and then put her on a pedestal when it became politically convenient.

DA worldstate asks

[raggedy-albert]

Ooh what are the headcanons you mentioned

ok i have so so many but we’ll start with my favorite albert ones

He is part Portuguese and part Brazilian

He has freckles and always is covered with dirt and a smattering of bruises. He’s a redhead with hair that sort of looks like a bird that’s spiky, thick, and always slicked back. He’s very buff and likes to show it off. He’s not short (most other newsies are just tall), but he has a compact vibe to him. His face is very expressive, especially his eyes brows. He has light brown eyes. His skin is a very light brown and his face is heart shaped.

When he ran away from home after his brother died and after he started to become more angry and bigger, the Brooklyn newsies (they knew his brother, and it was the closest borough) took him in (which is where he met Spot, though he wasn’t leader of the Brookies yet. They weren’t really close though, they just knew that each other existed). The Brookies gave him a nickname (Red) and he became really close friends with someone, another newsie who was around his dead brother’s age. The newsie didn't have any friends but he had been with the Brooklyn newsies for a while, and Albert didn’t have any friends there so he thought it was a perfect match. The newsie would only call Al by his nickname, which he didn’t really like but the newsie told him it made him sound cooler, and he figured it was a way to disconnect from his past life. That newsie and him became brothers (“replacing” the brother he lost) but Albert didn���t realize how toxic and controlling he was. They went everywhere together and they sold together and were inseparable, but one day his “friend” got in trouble with the cops and was going to be sent to the Refuge so he blamed it all on Albert and got away with no punishment, while Albert got sent away instead. His short time there changed him, he has a few physical scars from the abuse (he hates others seeing them), but most of them are mental. He got extremely protective of others, which is where he first adopted the older brother mindset, but he also started getting nightmares as well as sleep issues and his mental health plummeted. He also became really jumpy, and he got much quieter, though before he was outgoing, loud, and rebellious. After he got out he always tries to give whatever extra food or little money he has to Specs to give to the kids he left behind, who he thinks about often. Ever since this, he swore off nicknames. He is still friends with a few of the Brookies, but he doesn’t like to see them too often since it’s hard for him because it reminds him of the newsies who betrayed him and his brother.

He’s actually pretty smart but didn’t get a school education since he started working so young. One of the Brooklyn newsies taught him the basics of how to read, which he used to tell the other newsies the headline or just to entertain himself. He’s sort of a smart dummy though, and it’s more street smarts than intelligence.

He used to mostly live at his house but ever since both of his brothers moved out his father became more violent due to there not being anyone to protect him anymore, he lives in the lodging house most of the time. Sometimes he randomly shows up late at night with bruises and doesn’t say anything about why. The other newsies just accept that he sometimes shows up and needs a place for the night. He has his own designated bed there (the bunk under Race’s).

Before his mom died, he wasn’t really close with her. He mostly spent time with his dad. Even if they didn’t really talk, they just got along and sat in comfortable silence together. It’s not like he disliked his mom or anything, they just weren’t close and it was sort of awkward whenever they would interact. After she died though, his dad completely changed. He got angry. It was like he had lost two parents, not one.

He talks loudly and slightly “off” because a) he’s hard of hearing, and b) he was born in Brooklyn, but switched to Manhattan at a relatively young age, so he talks in a combination of both. He also uses a lot of slang so he’s hard to understand (Race is the interpreter). Also his parents both had accents so…

[bonesandthebees]

vampire kid backstories please!!! i love ur vamp au and wanna know more :]

(also maybe where flippa comes in cuz shes my fav 👉👈)

aaa thank you so glad you like it so far!! I'm gonna talk about juanaflippa in the next ask I answer bc the next ask actually ties into what's going on with her, so I'll just use this one to talk about the rest of the kids who are present at the start of the story

so to start off, we'll contrast Chayanne's story of Missa saving his life with how Bobby ended up with Jaiden and Roier. again, remember that Jaiden and Roier are both very young vampires and as a result don't make the best decisions. one day the two of them were hanging out in a coffee shop or something when this kid wandered up to them and just went "whoa you're vampires!" with 100% seriousness. bc they are both dumbasses they sucked at playing it cool and the kid only became more convinced as both Jaiden and Roier rambled trying to say they weren't. eventually they both gave in and swore the kid to secrecy, and he agreed only if they would both tell him what it was like to be a vampire. Bobby happened to live near them, so over the next month or so he kept popping up at random trying to hang out with the duo asking them all sorts of questions about vampires. Eventually they figured out the reason this kid had basically zero parental guidance was bc he didn't have a great home life, so when Bobby asked if they could turn him into a vampire Roier wanted to do it while Jaiden cheered him on in the background because Jaiden loves to enable Roier and vice versa. after all, they both had grown really fond of Bobby at this point, and his family was shit and he wanted this so why not? well there were a lot of reasons why not but Roier turned him anyway, and yeah they did just kind of end up kidnapping him. good job guys. Bobby seems pretty happy at least.

I'll put the others under the cut!

Leo has a very different story to Bobby. One night, Vegetta was out trying to hunt when he heard a fight going on. He discovered a group of vampire hunters attacking a vampire and their recently sired child, so he jumped in to help but the adult vampire was killed before Vegetta could chase the hunters off. he got the hunters to run off before they could hurt the child though, and since Leo had no one else, he took her in as his own. He doesn't know why her sire turned her and like I mentioned before, vampire children often don't remember much from their human lives so Leo doesn't know either. Foolish was a bit hesitant about them taking in a kid at first, but he bonded very fast with Leo and now takes care of her the majority of the time. Also technically Roier, and by extension Jaiden and Bobby, are part of Vegetta and Foolish's coven because Vegetta turned Roier and they still talk all the time, but Roier likes having a bit of his own independence so he lives on his own with his family

Bad and Dapper possibly have the most interesting story out of most of the parents and their kids. I mentioned before that the vampire hunter groups are pretty scattered and disconnected from each other, so they all have different rules and regulations. One vampire hunting group happens to train children which no one is happy about. Bad is an extremely kind vampire (strictly feeds on animal blood) who tries to help out anyone he meets—human and vampire—so when he noticed he was being followed by a human child with a wooden stake on his belt he decided to let the kid try his best to kill him because he didn't wanna discourage him y'know? Dapper spent months trying to kill Bad who would never fight back, he would just kind of jump out of the way while being like "whoa you almost got me! good job! :D" the two start talking during these attempts, and Bad quickly grew fond of Dapper and Dapper realized Bad was nothing like what the hunters had told him vampires were like. One night though Dapper met a vampire who wasn't so nice, and Bad found him as he was bleeding out. Bad chased the other vampire off and Dapper—who had realized vampires weren't what he thought they were—asked Bad to turn him because he didn't want to die. Bad complied and the two have been inseparable ever since.

Fit has been a mercenary/assassin for hire for the better part of a century now and used to have a policy where he'd work for anyone if they paid him enough. He even worked for vampire hunters a few times. One time he was completing a job with another mercenary friend of his—Spreen—where they had to kill another vampire. During the fight the vampire grabbed a random kid who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and tried to feed from him to get extra strength. Fit and Spreen killed the vampire, but the kid was severely injured. Fit was considering just letting the kid die, but Spreen said they could turn him and train him together and all that stuff. Fit ended up going for it and turned Ramón, but Spreen dipped almost immediately despite saying he'd help out. Fit was pissed to say the least, but he bonded with Ramón and has ultimately become a lot more chill than he used to be thanks to needing to take care of his son.

Cellbit is a bit of an unhinged guy. Like, he's good, but he also definitely has a flair for the dramatic and a bit of a temper. One day he was just hanging out in a public library when he noticed this really cute young kid crying. He comforted the kid and the two began to talk, and over the next few weeks he found himself growing fond of Richarlyson. He started watching Richarlyson's family from afar to see how his parents were, and although Richas' parents were technically fine, Cellbit witnessed them yelling at Richas one (1) time and decided that was unacceptable (he was kind of just looking for an excuse though) and, uh, killed them. He made sure Richarlyson didn't see anything though and turned him quickly after. Because he was so young at the time (4) he doesn't remember anything from his human life which is probably for the better. Also Cellbit hadn't told the rest of his coven about this kid he met at the library, so the conversation when he got back to the house was basically "whatcha got there?" Cellbit, holding a 4 year old in one arm and starbucks in the other, "...coffee." Thankfully the rest of the Brazilians bonded very quickly with Richas, Forever especially who got flooded with mama wolf protectiveness. Richarlyson is the only one who can get near Forever during full moons, with Forever often curling up around the boy and licking his face until they fall asleep together.

Before joining the Big Group, the French coven lived very far out in the middle of the woods by themselves. There were roads, but they were very twisty and steep, often on the edge of mountains. One day, Baghera was out hunting for animals when she heard a car go through one of the road barriers. When she got to the crash site she saw the only passenger who survived was a little girl, but she was bleeding badly and wasn't going to make it. Baghera turned her to save her life, and then realized she didn't know shit about raising a kid, and the guys in her coven definitely didn't know how to raise a kid—let alone a vampire kid. She does her best with Pomme though, and after they join up with the others Forever gives her a lot of parenting advice

Tilín had a bit of a sad story. Wilbur left Quackity only a few days after he turned him, and Quackity was slightly relieved because he's very bad at the whole commitment to someone else thing since he's been alone for so long. But then he found a recently turned vampire kid who had been abandoned by their sire, and since Quackity was abandoned by his own sire (even though he was an adult when he was turned), he knew what it was like and couldn't just leave the kid to die. He really didn't know what he was doing though, and again, had a lot of internal issues with that sort of stuff. He left Tilín alone too much to go off and do his own stuff, and they got killed by hunters as a result. Quackity blames himself so much for it.

Max had a similar situation to Quackity with Trump, except he turned Trump himself because he was desperately lonely after not having a coven for so many decades. Trump was also a pretty lonely orphan kid, so in a way they were a good match for each other. But Max got caught up in his own programming work a lot and sometimes forgot to check on his kid. As a result Trump tried to hunt on his own, ended up exposing himself to some humans, and the Federation had to step in. They killed the humans involved, and then killed Trump as well because he'd put their secret at risk. Max only found out after the fact and was very heartbroken, but also gained a grudge for the Federation after that.

Like I said, I'll talk about Juanaflippa in my next ask. Also as far as Tallulah goes, she wouldn't come in till later in the story, but obviously yes Wilbur does end up taking her in at some point :)

[why-raven]

quiz: tragic horror character — yiuno.

That Which Cannot Be Known.

Oh, god. How did it come to this? To some extent, you’ve gone so far past your own idea of “human” that it must be kind of fun, right? Maybe, I’m not sure. As an artifact of cosmic horror, you’re wild, wacky and colorful. People are probably drawn to that, but you will never let them know you. The mystery intrigues for a while, but it’ll wear everyone down. It’ll wear you down, too. Who are you? Do you remember? Are you so far gone that you can’t go back? And maybe the most tragic thing of all—becoming so distorted in your identity, and for so long, that no matter how hard you want to return you can’t ever seem to figure it out. But you’ve learned a vast amount up in the stars, and people will work hard to get to know you. It doesn’t matter who you used to be. Sometimes, you should just start from scratch: give yourself a name, a birthday. Let someone celebrate these things with you.

link to quiz.

Oh, god. Where to begin?

The result is eerily spot-on, and I don’t want to run the risk of revealing too much of Yiuno’s backstory to spoil the fun about this character. However, the one thing I can say about him is: Yiuno’s life has been built on lies and deception for as long as he can remember.

Did that pique your interest?

According to canon, Vieras are only separated by gender when they reach puberty. Adult males will return to their settlement to collect those identified as boys, then they are taken out to the wild and are trained to become wardens. This means that once the young males leave their village, they can never return and be in contact with the females except during the mating season.

Yiuno has a twin sister, Yiuna; they grew up together and were extremely close—inseparable, even. When they both became adolescents, Yiuna didn’t want her only brother to be taken away from her, so she took the risk to hide Yiuno’s masculinity for as long as they could, using any means necessary. While it was certainly a feat that Yiuna managed to keep her brother’s gender a secret for almost three long summers, the elders eventually found out and they were trialed for breaking the tribal law… which ended with expulsion from their birthplace.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg to Yiuno’s darkly colorful past. As a Viera, his longevity also poses an identity issue: how can he explain his unusually long life and eternal youth to other Eorzean races, whose life expectancy is barely a scratch compared to his own? The only way is to be constantly on the move, creating new aliases, reappearing as new people with each identity change.

“Yiuno Reine” is definitely not his real name. Perhaps the current him isn’t even the real him.

Who is he, really?

It was a question he used to ask himself, when his own age became so disconnected with the passage of time. However, when Sora becomes a huge part of his current self, for the first time in his long, long life, time finally starts to move forward once more.

(Re-posting old quizzes to this main blog for archiving purposes.)

This one also forms an interesting comparison with another quiz I did here, where they both share similar premises, but the other was more generic and straightforward compared to this.