#that is something incredibly rare and special for him— especially as someone who deep down really just wants to be known and accepted
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yappacadaver · 1 year ago
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Bro in a loss for feels good readers everywhere, it’s not the acts of service which end up being an expression of love. That’s his expression of duty— grim and self-deleterious. Now we can ask the question why, why does he give himself this duty? And the answer will likely change over time. But the effort put into these “acts of service” can be made without love, and in his life has often been defined by the pointed lack of love in these interactions.
No… unfortunately, the purest expression of love from him is the emotional equivalent of flashing someone
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4vanaa · 28 days ago
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—01 MEET THE CAMERONS.
MASTERLIST
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Parenting Style:
You:
⌗ you’re the glue that holds everything together. you’re the calm in the storm, trying to create some order amidst the chaos rafe and the kids inevitably bring. you're fair but firm when it comes to rules and expectations, though you’re not afraid to bend the rules to make everyone happy sometimes.
⌗ you’re the one who handles the serious stuff, like school projects, making sure everyone gets to their activities on time, and having family meetings when things get too crazy.
⌗ your biggest challenge is managing the emotional rollercoaster that is rafe's unpredictable behavior while also balancing the needs of the kids.
⌗ you’re a very hands-on parent, emotionally available for your kids. giving them the space to grow but also have a warm side. you always know when to step in with advice or affection and when to let them figure things out on their own.
Rafe:
⌗ rafe tries to be the “cool dad” who doesn’t follow any rules, especially when it comes to his teens. he’s big on freedom, thinking his kids should have the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. but when it comes to his younger kids, he's surprisingly soft. when you’re not around, rafe’s the one sneaking treats to the kids or letting them stay up way past bedtime because “who needs sleep anyway?”
⌗ rafe’s biggest flaw is his impulsiveness, which often leads to trouble. he's not exactly a role model in terms of structure, but his kids love him for his authenticity, especially when they’re old enough to understand how flawed he is.
⌗ while he's overprotective in some ways (especially with his oldest daughter), rafe does everything with love. he’s not the parent who will sit down and have deep heart-to-heart talks, but he’ll show love in unconventional ways, like fixing a bike or defending them fiercely when someone dares to challenge them.
⌗ rafe can’t resist showing off to the kids—whether it’s bragging about something ridiculous or trying to impress them with his "skills." but he’s deeply emotional when it comes to his family and would do anything to protect them (even if his methods are questionable).
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The Kids:
AVA CAMERON (15)
PERSONALITY ava is headstrong, sarcastic, and fearless. she takes after both you and rafe—she has your intelligence and sharp wit but rafe’s defiance and impulsiveness. she’s known for pushing boundaries, especially with rafe, whom she has a love-hate relationship with. she’ll challenge him on everything, but deep down, she knows he’d do anything for her.
RELATIONSHIP WITH HER DAD ava and rafe constantly butt heads. she thinks his overprotectiveness is ridiculous, but she secretly craves his approval. she’ll act tough, but she’s incredibly sensitive, and rafe is the first person she goes to when she needs emotional support (though it’s rarely obvious to anyone else).
RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM you and ava have a special bond where you can communicate with just a glance. you know when she’s upset or hiding something, and she knows you’re the one she can go to when rafe is being... rafe. she trusts you even though she keeps a lot of her emotions locked away.
FUN FACT ava is known for sneaking out of the house with her friends or boyfriend, and while rafe might rage over it, you just give her a disappointed look, and she feels guilty enough to come clean.
MILO CAMERON (10)
PERSONALITY milo is a mischief-maker who often finds himself caught between his older sister’s drama and rafe’s wild ideas. he’s sarcastic but with a more dry sense of humor and often the mediator when things go off the rails in the family. milo is the kid who, when faced with chaos, will either laugh or attempt to solve it with a quirky solution.
RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS DAD milo is rafe’s favorite person to hang out with because milo can keep up with his energy and unpredictability. they do a lot of “guy stuff” together, like fixing things around the house, going on “secret” adventures, or talking about the things rafe pretends to be an expert at.
RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM you and milo are like two peas in a pod. he’s very emotionally in tune with you and often tries to cheer you up when he knows you're dealing with rafe’s chaos. he knows how to make you laugh in the most stressful moments.
FUN FACT milo has a knack for getting out of trouble. if he gets in trouble at school, he’ll somehow find a way to talk his way out of it, often with rafe’s unintentional help.
POPPY CAMERON (3)
PERSONALITY poppy is the wild child, known for her tantrums and her adorably mischievous smile. she’s fearless, loves to run around the house, and has a particular love for barry (who, of course, enables her chaos). she’s the youngest, so she gets away with everything, and she knows it.
RELATIONSHIP WITH HER DAD rafe is a softie when it comes to poppy. he’s the one who’ll give her anything she asks for, even if it’s a sugar-loaded snack before dinner. he finds her tantrums funny rather than frustrating, which makes you roll your eyes—but secretly, you love how much he dotes on her.
RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM you’re the one who has to deal with poppy’s “I want this NOW” demands. poppy has you wrapped around her little finger, and she knows it. she’s also the first to notice when you're upset and will crawl into your lap to comfort you, even if it’s just by offering you a cookie.
FUN FACT she has rafe under her spell and often drags him into her mischief.
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FAMILY DYNAMICS
DINNER TIME at your house is a mix of chaos and love. ava will be sulking about curfew, milo will be chatting about his day with such enthusiasm that you and rafe can’t help but laugh, and poppy will spill her drink all over the table, leading to more chaos.
RAFE WILL ALWAYS try to sneak in action-packed movies (and somehow convince you to let the kids watch them). you’ll try to suggest a family-friendly comedy, but it’s usually a battle. in the end, everyone ends up in the living room, snacks everywhere, with rafe on the couch like a proud, mischievous child.
RAFE GIVES THE WORST, but most well-meaning advice. he’ll tell ava to “not let anyone tell you what to do” when she’s dealing with bullies at school. when milo gets in trouble for a school prank, rafe will secretly high-five him while you give rafe a disapproving look.
EVERY TIME ONE of the kids gets in trouble, rafe somehow shows up with a spontaneous adventure—a trip to the beach, a surprise boat ride, or letting them stay up an extra hour to do something “fun.” it’s his way of showing love, but it doesn’t always help their behavior.
YOU’RE ALWAYS THE ONE to solve the problems rafe causes—whether it’s calming down ava after an argument or cleaning up after poppy’s mess. but your kids know that, despite the chaos, you’re the rock of the family. your love for them is unshakable, even when things are a mess.
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a/n: meet the maybanks coming tm <333
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🏷️: @rafecameronswifeyy @papercranesandinkstains @akobx @delicatevamps @sereneera @ethanthequeefqueen @zuccheromorena @theanonymousloser @chalahyung01 @mystic-megumi @acidfeens @judesgfirl @rubiehart @callieyanderechan @amterasuu @smithieandy @theeternaloptimistt @marleymarleymarleymarley @lilygrxcem @fieryghxul @luvelola @aias-fxtns @starkeysbaby @brxght-world @drewsswifeyy
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lh44girl · 28 days ago
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A rare one .
It’s late at night, the city alive outside the window, but in the space with Lewis feels like a world of its own—quiet, intimate, and humming with an energy you can’t quite name. It was just after several casual dates that he had invited you over for a more low key drinks at his place. You’re sitting cross-legged on the couch, wearing one of his hoodies that swallows your frame over your sundress , the scent of him clinging to it making your heart race.
He’s beside you, his body angled toward yours, arm draped over the back of the couch, his attention locked on you. There’s a spark in his eyes tonight, something playful but tender, as though he’s looking at you like you’re the most intriguing thing he’s ever seen.
“You’re so quiet tonight,” he teases, his voice low and warm. “What happened to the girl who can’t go five minutes without trying to outsmart me?”
Your cheeks warm at the teasing lilt in his tone, and you tuck your hair behind your ear, unable to hold his gaze for too long. “I’m not quiet,” you mumble, feeling flustered.
He grins, leaning a little closer. “You’re not exactly loud either. What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours, hmm? You thinking about me?”
His playful tone sends heat racing to your cheeks, and you quickly avert your eyes, chewing on your lip. “You’re so full of yourself,” you manage, your voice barely above a whisper.
Lewis chuckles, the sound deep and smooth, and then he shifts closer, his knee brushing against yours. “You’re not denying it, though.”
The proximity makes your pulse race, your heart pounding so loudly you’re sure he can hear it. You want to say something witty, something to deflect, but the words catch in your throat when he lifts a hand to brush his thumb gently across your cheek.
“You’re nervous,” he says softly, his teasing edge softening into something deeper, more curious. “Why are you nervous around me? You’re usually so good at putting me in my place.”
You swallow hard, your hands twisting in the fabric of your hoodie. “I’m not used to… this,” you admit, your voice trembling just enough for him to notice.
His brows furrow slightly, his hand still resting against your cheek. “This?” he echoes, his voice low and careful, as though afraid to push too hard.
You take a shaky breath, your eyes darting down to the space between you. “I just… I’ve never really done this before. Any of it.”
It takes a moment for your words to sink in, but when they do, you see the realization dawn in his eyes. His grin falters, replaced by something softer, something that makes you feel both safe and incredibly exposed.
“Wait,” he says, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and wonder. “You mean… never?”
You nod, your face burning, and you quickly look away, feeling too vulnerable under his gaze. “It’s probably weird, I know. Everyone you know is so… experienced and confident, and I’m just…”
“Stop,” he interrupts, his hand gently tilting your chin so you have no choice but to look at him. His expression is nothing like you expected—not mockery, not judgment, but a kind of awe that makes your chest ache. “Don’t do that. Don’t downplay how special that is.”
You blink at him, your heart skipping a beat. “Special?”
He grins then, his cheeky side peeking through. “Yeah, special. Do you know how rare it is to meet someone like you? Especially in my world?” He pauses, his grin softening into something more sincere. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I feel kind of… lucky.”
“Lucky?” you repeat, your voice barely above a whisper.
He nods, his thumb brushing your cheek again, his gaze dropping to your lips. “Yeah, lucky. And it makes me want to get this right. For you.”
Your breath catches as he leans in, his movements slow, giving you every chance to pull away. When his lips finally brush yours, it’s like the world stops. The kiss is feather-light, soft and unhurried, as though he’s savoring the moment.
He cups your face with both hands, his thumbs tracing soothing circles against your skin. His lips move against yours with such care, it feels less like a kiss and more like a promise—gentle, patient, and filled with a depth that makes your knees weak.
It’s everything you imagined your first kiss would be, but so much more, because it’s him.
When he finally pulls back, just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours, his voice is barely audible. “You okay?”
You nod, your heart still racing, and he smiles, that boyish, slightly smug grin you’ve come to adore. “Good,” he murmurs, pressing a quick, soft kiss to your nose. “Because I could do that all night.”
You laugh,bite your lower lip, the tension easing as his arms wrap around you, pulling you against his chest. “You’re impossible,” you mutter, your face buried against him, but there’s no hiding the smile tugging at your lips.
“And you’re perfect,” he whispers, his voice so soft you almost miss it. But the way his arms tighten around you tells you he meant every word & more.
The 4 letter word wasn’t said but it was mutually felt by the two of you.
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mya-valentine · 5 months ago
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Headcanon: Roronoa Zoro With an S/O Who Cares a lot About Their Looks
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Zoro isn’t the type to compliment often, but when he does, it’s always blunt and sincere. He may casually say something like, “You look nice today,” but it’s enough to make his S/O’s heart flutter because Zoro’s compliments are rare and meaningful.
Zoro doesn’t really understand his S/O’s beauty routines. Whether it’s skincare, makeup, or picking out the perfect outfit, he watches in quiet confusion but never judges. He’s more likely to ask, “How long is this going to take?” when they’re getting ready.
If anyone ever mocks or criticizes his S/O for caring about their looks, Zoro will instantly step in. He doesn’t see a problem with how much time or effort his S/O puts into their appearance and won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting it.
Zoro might not care too much about appearances, but he knows his S/O does. So, when they fuss over their hair or outfit being out of place, he’ll try his best to avoid messing anything up—though sometimes he accidentally does. His attempts to fix it afterward are hilariously clumsy.
Zoro is impatient when waiting for his S/O to get ready, often leaning against the door with his arms crossed, sighing loudly. However, once he sees the finished result, he always pauses and gives them an approving nod, even if he won’t say it out loud.
Zoro loves his S/O as they are, whether they're all done up or just out of bed. He never pressures them to look a certain way and is very accepting of them love for beauty and fashion. He finds it cute when they fusses over the smallest details.
Zoro may be a bit rough around the edges, but he’s careful not to damage or disturb his S/O’s makeup, clothes, or other beauty products. He’s learned from experience that knocking over a shelf of expensive cosmetics will only bring trouble, so he’s more mindful than people would expect.
Even when his S/O is all dressed up and worried about ruining her outfit or hair, Zoro is still affectionate in his laid-back way. He’ll throw an arm around their shoulders, saying something like, “You look good. Let’s go.” It’s his way of appreciating their efforts without making a big deal out of it.
Zoro occasionally teases his S/O about their beauty habits. He might say something like, “Are you trying to impress someone, or just me?” with a grin. It’s his way of showing he notices her hard work, and he secretly loves that they cares so much about looking good.
Zoro may seem inattentive, but he surprises his S/O by noticing small changes in their appearance, like a new hairstyle or a different makeup look. He won’t always say it directly, but a raised eyebrow or a thoughtful look shows that he’s paying attention.
Despite caring about their looks, Zoro’s S/O enjoys keeping physically fit, and they often train together. Zoro loves that they balance their beauty routine with strength and stamina, and he’s always impressed by their dedication to both.
Though Zoro couldn’t care less about his own fashion, he lets his S/O offer advice or pick out clothes for him on special occasions. He grumbles about it, but deep down, he doesn’t mind when they picks out a clean shirt or styles his hair because it makes her happy.
Zoro admires the confidence his S/O exudes when they feels good about their appearance. Whether they're in battle or just walking into a room, their beauty and poise make an impact, and Zoro finds their confidence incredibly attractive.
Zoro is always supportive of his S/O’s love for their looks, but in his usual laid-back way. When they're dressing up or putting effort into their appearance, he’ll give them a reassuring, “You look great already,” even if he doesn’t fully understand why they're doing so much.
While Zoro isn’t outwardly obsessed with appearances, he can’t help but admire his S/O’s beauty, especially in quieter moments. Whether they're applying makeup or adjusting their outfit, Zoro will glance over and appreciate how much care they put into themselves, feeling lucky to have someone so stunning by his side.
.
.
.
Masterlist
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multifandomfix · 5 months ago
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John Dolittle Fluff Alphabet
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A = Affection (Are they physically affectionate in public or just in private?)
John isn’t the most physically affectionate in public, often due to his introverted nature, but in private, he is tender and soft, showing his love in small, quiet ways.
B = Babe (What would they use as pet names? Do they use them a lot?)
He’d use sweet and simple pet names, perhaps calling you “dear” or “love” sparingly, as he’s not one to overuse them. It’s more about the feeling behind the words when he says them.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
John enjoys cuddling, especially after a long day, preferring to wrap his arms around you while lying down. He feels comfort in the quiet closeness, though he may be a bit awkward at first.
D = Domestic (What’s it like living with them? Do they do their share of chores?)
Living with him means sharing your space with animals, as they’re part of his world. He may not be the best at traditional chores, but he compensates by making sure your life is filled with adventure and companionship, and he’ll always lend a hand when needed.
E = Easy (What is the easiest way to win their heart?)
The easiest way to win his heart is through understanding and appreciating his connection with animals. Patience and kindness are key, especially when it comes to his quirks and reclusive nature.
F = Fun (Where do they take you for fun? Are they flirty?)
John prefers the beauty of nature for fun activities. A day exploring the forest or an unexpected journey on the sea is more his style. He’s not traditionally flirty, but his wit and deep curiosity make any interaction engaging.
G = Gifts (Are they a gift giver? What kind of gifts do they give?)
He’s thoughtful with gifts, often bringing back rare or meaningful items from his adventures—something that speaks to your shared interests or reminds him of a special moment you’ve had together.
H = History (What’s their relationship history like? Do they have any plans on settling down?)
John’s relationship history is sparse due to his seclusion following his wife’s death. He doesn’t easily jump into relationships, and settling down again takes time, but he’s deeply loyal once he commits.
I = I Love You (Who says I love you first?)
He would likely say “I love you” first, though it would take him some time to express it. The moment would be intimate, probably in a quiet setting when the time just feels right.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
John isn’t typically prone to jealousy, but when he does feel it, he withdraws slightly rather than confront the issue directly. Eventually, he’ll talk it through with you.
K = Kids (How are they around children? Would they want some of their own?)
He’s wonderful with children, naturally attuned to nurturing and teaching, much like he is with animals. Whether or not he would want children of his own depends on your wishes, but he’d certainly be open to it.
L = Love Language (How do they show their love to you?)
John shows his love through acts of service and quality time, doing small but significant things for you, like making sure you’re well fed or taking you on a journey that connects you to the world in a new way.
M = Meet (How did they meet you?)
You’d likely meet through a shared love of animals or nature, possibly during one of his adventures, where your paths would cross in a place filled with wildlife or in a time when he needs help.
N = Nurture (Are they good at taking care of you if you’re hurt/sick?)
He’s incredibly attentive when you’re sick or hurt, leveraging his knowledge of natural remedies and care. He’s gentle and patient, ensuring you feel as comfortable as possible.
O = Options (What are some things they would like in a partner?)
John values patience, curiosity, and a deep love for animals. He also seeks someone who’s understanding of his quiet nature but can still share in his adventures.
P = Protective (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)
He’s protective but not overly possessive. John would protect you by ensuring you’re safe in potentially dangerous situations, often using his intellect and the help of his animals to find more creative solutions than most.
Q = Quirk (What small habit/feature/quirk do they have that you find especially endearing?)
His conversations with animals are something you’d find especially endearing, even when he talks to them in front of others, completely unbothered by how strange it may seem.
R = Realization (When and what makes them realize they’re in love?)
He realizes he’s in love during a quiet moment, perhaps when you show compassion for one of his animal companions. It hits him unexpectedly but deeply.
S = Sentimental (Are they the sentimental type? What things hold sentimentality for them?)
John is surprisingly sentimental, holding onto little things like a feather from a bird he saved with you or a stone from a memorable location you visited together.
T = Try (In what ways do they support or help you?)
He supports you by always encouraging your curiosity and drive, helping you learn or explore things in ways you hadn’t considered before. He’s never one to hold you back.
U = Unique (What’s something they’d only do for you?)
He would introduce you to his animal companions in a special way, perhaps letting you in on one of his more intimate conversations with them, which he usually keeps to himself.
V = Vacation (Where would they take you on vacation? What would you do?)
Vacations with John would involve remote locations filled with wildlife and natural beauty, like a secluded beach, a hidden forest grove, or even a boat journey to far off islands where you can explore nature together.
W = Wardrobe (What would they wear to impress you?)
He’s not one for fashion, but he’d likely wear something practical with perhaps a little flair when trying to impress you. A pop of color does him wonders in your eyes.
X = XOXO (How do they kiss?)
His kisses are gentle and slow, filled with meaning rather than pure unadulterated passion. He prefers the quiet intimacy of a kiss shared in a private moment, making sure every kiss feels special.
Y = Yes (How do you/they propose?)
A proposal from John would be understated, likely at a place significant to both of you. It would be private and heartfelt, perhaps with a grand gesture that his menagerie helped orchestrate.
Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)
John’s sleep habits can be erratic due to his lifestyle, but when he sleeps, he’s deeply relaxed, often with a few animals nearby. If you’re with him, he’d want you close too, enjoying the calm presence of each other.
For anon
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Forever Tag: @baubeautyandthegeek, @ghostsunderstoodmysoul, @immyowndefender, @valencethefriendlychangeling, @crimsonwidow666, @rebelbossheart, @thedailyspiritualist, @orangeisnttheonlyfruit, @woman-simp, @aperol-with-izzy, @leonoralessoem, @ellepossum69, @lakita-fisher, @trexsuit, @analuw, @luvlesavyy, @malfoyfeed, @aliciabrower, @sparrowspixie, @imaginationismyworldlypleasure, @og-kxsh-420
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wickcdlove · 4 months ago
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kang nabi (강나비) | 95’ | lesbian | cis woman | she/her | painter
lee yoomi, lesbian, cis woman, she/her. ♡ now entering the apartment building is kang nabi, a twenty-nine year old who is currently a painter. netizens have said they seem peculiar but others have said they’re gentle ! gossip aside, we’re sure they’re bound to be a fan favorite ! 
born and raised in korea, speaks no other languages. she's not always the biggest fan of communicating with words anyway, so sometimes it doesn't bother her - she tries to get her point across as best she can even if someone isn't fluent in korean.
tw; abuse.
background
nabi found a passion for art in her childhood. she learned all about it from her father, who was a great painter and sculptor. she idolised him as a little girl, but everything changed when he left the family for a younger woman. the betrayal deeply affected nabi, and it was only the beginning of her later developed abandonment issues. her mother, broken and desperate for companionship, remarried a controlling, abusive man. despite the suspicious death of his previous wife, nabi’s mother turned a blind eye, too in love with him to see the danger. the abuse she endured at the hands of her stepfather was devastating. her mother, who once seemed to loved her, grew distant, prioritizing her new husband and his children over her. eventually, she sent her away to boarding school, severing the last emotional ties between them. during her time at school, nabi exhibited severe behavioural issues, showing clear signs of autism, but her family refused to acknowledge her needs. though her intelligence was evident, her inability to fully apply herself led to fluctuating grades and a deeper sense of alienation. upon leaving school, she moved in with a group of queer feminists who were heavily involved in the kink community. through them, she ended up doing a lot of experimentation and while some of her experiences were empowering and healthy, others weren’t so great for her. to support herself, she worked at a bar while freelancing as an artist, specializing in erotic art - particularly bdsm and shibari themed portraits commissioned by her new social circle. nabi’s work became a way to express her passion for women. she loved painting women, celebrating their beauty and strength. her art became a way to connect emotionally, even when she struggled to do so in person. she mostly joined seoulmates hoping to find romantic connections. after years of emotional turmoil and superficial relationships, she longs for something real and meaningful
personality
nabi has a hard time picking up on social cues, which often leads to awkward or uncomfortable interactions. her intensity can be overwhelming for others, though she rarely notices it herself. when it comes to her art, nabi is incredibly focused and driven. she pours all her emotions into her work, sometimes to the point of obsession, which can make her come across as intense or single-minded. even though not all of her art explicitly expresses it, it’s a huge outlet for her. nabi often engages in self-destructive behaviours, especially when she feels emotionally overwhelmed. sometimes she has pretty bad sensory issues, especially with sound and light. sometimes she goes selectively mute if she’s feeling particularly awful. deep down, she craves emotional intimacy and wants to experience the love and support she’s been denied for so long.
relationships
whenever she takes a liking to someone she really seeks their approval. she tends to show this by excessive gift giving, usually art and small things like flowers. if they don’t like her art or show enough appreciation, she immediately feels rejected. while nabi has explored her sexuality and kinks, she has yet to find a truly fulfilling romantic relationship. she often sabotages potential relationships through her self-destructive tendencies and fear of emotional intimacy. she identifies as a switch but she’s more submissive leaning.
wanted connections:
platonic:
tba
romantic:
tba
she does like stoic, kinda standoffish women though lol. but someone who has a soft heart beneath it.
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huntunderironskies · 2 years ago
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I have been following the tweeting career of Menswear Guy Derek Guy (dieworkwear on Twitter) with rapt fascination for the past month. For people who have been, quite reasonably, avoiding Twitter, he has recently made a habit of going after (allegedly) hypermasculine conservative politicians and political commentators who scream into the void about tradition and being manly, through the medium of critiquing their suits. He makes well-sourced proofs that they're rarely bespoke as claimed, that they fit poorly, that the men in question don't understand how recent of a fashion development they are and that they haven't always been the peak of respectability, that their fashion choices while wearing a suit are terrible, etc, all in extreme detail. Here's the one that made him take off.
This sounds so silly but the absolute levels of salt and defensiveness that he generates both from said targets along with their fans is unbelievably high. I'd need to go back over his posts but I think at like a third of the people he critiques end up deleting their tweets or locking their accounts, presumably out of humiliation. I think what makes him work so well is something that you don't often see from leftist critics: he specializes in a field that conservatives who are very precious about their masculinity value as a symbol of power and manliness (menswear, especially bespoke suits) and can expose just how little they know and how much of a prop it is for them.
Because deep down a lot of them are deeply insecure about their masculinity. They barely know what it actually is, adhere to that just because it's what they've been told to do, and have never questioned why they think it shows manhood. I would not be the first brain genius to point this out but it's true. I think somewhere deep down they know they're play-acting at it and they can't handle having it called out. So much of their identity is bound up in that image. And this is different from someone who's exploring their masculinity and might have to shift through a few different expressions-- these are guys who have one very specific prescription as to what a man looks like. If smoking cigars in a sport coat gives you gender euphoria (and cis people can have gender euphoria too) then hey, go for it! It does nothing for me, I'm more about the dandy/ouji boy life, but there are a lot of ways to be a man. The problem is these guys can't accept that.
And it does make them pretty easy targets. I think there's no point in taking the debate high road with people, sometimes you just have to humiliate someone. See also the guy who punched Richard Spencer. His career nosedived after that because that facade of strength got completely busted. This requires less knuckledusters but it is nevertheless incredibly effective because so many people are seeing it.
Anyways, the real point of this is we need to bring back breeches and hose as high fashion for men, it looks incredible on me. I don't do leg curls to hide them under straight leg pants, c'mon.
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geniously-hacked-bebop · 3 years ago
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A Valentine's Surprise
Pairing: Jumin Han x Reader (NSFW/18+ only/MDNI)
Warnings: cockwarming, rough sex, choking, hair pulling
AN: Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I was not planning on having anything ready for today, but somehow this happened in a sleep-deprived stupor and I'm weirdly happy with it??? Anyways, enjoy some good ol' Jumin smut!
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Every year for Valentine’s Day, you and Jumin always did something special and typically pretty over the top knowing how he likes to surprise you. However, this year with the holiday landing on a Monday, a day where you both had to work, it really put a damper on any sort of concrete plans. Sure, of course you would go out on the weekend to celebrate early, but you still wanted to surprise him on that day.
After living together for several years, you have come to be very familiar with how meticulous and organized Jumin is. Everything in his own space has its spot and very rarely strays from that location, especially in his home office. A computer with a keyboard in the middle, a notepad slightly to the right of it with pens lined up next to it, a small lamp on the left corner and a pillow for Elizabeth the Third to sit right in front of the lamp. Without fail, once he got home and greeted you, he would go to his office to finish up any last minute paperwork before allowing himself to relax with the love of his life. This information made it very easy to plan every step of your Valentine’s surprise to make sure it goes exactly how you pictured it in your head.
You managed to somehow get off work earlier than he did for once and beat him home, where you immediately rinsed off the grime of the day. Robe wrapped loosely around your still damp body, you made your way over to your giant shared walk-in closet and went straight for the outfit you had been planning for this moment. A short red dress that was form fitting on the top, but had a cute little frilly skirt on it that barely covered your ass. While you were slipping this on, you heard Elizabeth run from the bed in your room into the main area, a tell-tale sign that Jumin was home from work. He called out a quick greeting before he rushed into his office, just like you knew he would. Patting down the skirt and taking a deep breath as you felt butterflies begin to fill your stomach, as if you were dressing up for a first date and not for the man you have been married to for years now, you make your way quietly to where you knew he would be sitting.
He always looked somewhat otherworldly sitting in his large leather chair behind the dark wooden desk in his office. Sometimes looking at him in this setting made you realize the position he was in and how wild it was that you had the opportunity to meet someone like him, let alone fall in love with and end up marrying. It was hard to wrap your head around how the adorable man who falls asleep on the couch while reading books about vampire lore, with his cat curled up on his chest, is also someone who is incredibly high up in his field.
He looked up briefly, running his eyes down your form and gave you a smile before turning his eyes back to his computer, “you look beautiful my darling, did you dress up like that just for me?”
You walk closer to his desk, going around the right side and placing your hands on it so you could lean closer to him, “I did! Do you like it?” you ask as you do a little spin for him, careful to make sure the skirt didn’t go up.
“Of course I do, you always look breathtaking,” he says as he takes one of your hands and kisses it, bringing a light flush to your cheeks, “I’m so sorry but I had to finish up one last thing before I could greet you properly.”
“No need to apologize, I understand! Is it alright for me to keep you company while you do that?”
He pats his desk, signaling for you to sit, “I would love nothing more,” he answers with one of his smiles he only gives you, his eyes softening with the rest of his face while he looks at you with all of the adoration in the world.
You take a look at his desk to make sure everything was how it normally was. Pens on the right, next to his notepad, exactly like you knew they would be. Putting one hand down to pretend to lift yourself onto his desk, you feint your hand slipping and “accidentally” knock one of his pens onto the floor.
“Oh! I’m so sorry honey, let me pick that up,” you say as you turn your back to him and bend over from the waist to grab the pen on the ground, feeling the short skirt ride up as you did so. You knew he saw your surprise for him when you heard his breath catch and felt his strong hands grab you by the waist to pull you onto his lap, flush against his chest.
You could feel his lips brush against your ear as you hear his deep voice come out in a breathy whisper, “no panties huh?” his hand starts running from its place on your waist, down to your inner thigh, “is this what you had planned all along?”
As soon as you nodded your head in response, his fingers expertly spread your folds and started rubbing circles around your clit slowly. “You couldn’t even let me finish my work first? That’s how needy you are for me?”
You let out a whine in response, to which he stopped his movements, “use your words and answer me princess, I know you can.”
“Yes, yes! Please Jumin,” you can hear the desperation in your voice, and moan in relief as his fingers continue what they had started before.
“There we go, that’s a good girl,” his voice sends shivers down your spine as he picks up the pace. “I do need to finish what I was working on before you decided to interrupt me though, maybe you can help me out until I’m done?”
You gulp and nod your head, he removes his hand from the mess you were beginning to make and taps your leg gently to have you stand up. Confused, you turn your head to see him unzipping his slacks and sliding them and his underwear down just enough to where his cock sprung free. You could feel the heat rising in your body at the sight. One of his hands finds its way back around your waist to pull you gently back onto his lap, while the other is wrapped around the base of his member, guiding it to slip into your warm, wet walls until he was buried to the hilt. You let out a gasp as you felt the stretch of him entering you and resting right at your most sensitive spot.
“Now stay just like that for me until I’m done, if you’re good then I might give you what you really want,” he whispers as he kisses your neck, making you squirm ever so slightly.
He gets back to his work like normal, as if your pussy wasn’t stretched around him, flexing his cock every once in a while just to make you jump so he could scold you for not holding still while he was trying to work. You could feel yourself becoming a slick mess around him, trying to follow his command, while also being even more desperate for this man to fuck you properly already.
After what seems like forever, he finally logs off of his computer, barely giving you enough time to process that he was done before he stood from his chair without warning, forcing you to find your footing quickly. Bending you over his desk with a hand at the small of your back to keep you down, he leans forward, chest pushing down against your back, pressing you further onto the desk as he gets closer to your ear.
“You were so good for me my love, now let me give you your reward,” he says, standing back upright, pulling himself from your wet heat before slamming back in, making your body lunge forward from the impact.
You can feel moans being pulled from your body and echoing throughout the room with every thrust of his hips against yours, each time his dick hitting the deepest parts of you, knowing exactly how to make you feel good. His hand runs up through your hair, grabbing it at the base and using it to pull you up, causing your back to arch as he leans your head against his chest, moving his other hand to wrap around your throat and choke you lightly as he uses it as leverage to quicken his pace.
The constant pounding of that spot deep inside you along with the slight lightheadedness that came from his hand around your neck had you hurtling towards your finish faster than you thought was possible. With a scream, you plunge over the edge, your pussy throbbing and pulsing around him, practically milking his cock as he fucks you through your orgasm. With how wet and tight you were, he was soon to follow, hips stuttering and filling you to the brim as he came deep inside you with a deep groan of his own.
He pulls his softening cock from your walls and turns you around to face him, pulling you into a deep, heated kiss, holding you flush against him.
You pull away, resting your forehead against his, “Happy Valentine’s Day Jumin,” you say, letting out a soft giggle.
“Happy Valentine’s Day my love,” he smiles back at you before moving to sweep you up into a bridal carry, kicking his pants off from around his ankles. His soft smile turns into a smirk as he goes to walk you both towards the bedroom, “but don’t think I’m done with you just yet.”
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willowser · 2 years ago
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was wondering if u have any dabi / touya fic recs i want to tell u i really enjoy ur works “nice to meet u” makes my heart drop down to my stomach nd i can feel my heartbeat thrum throughout my whole body ..i love your writing i visit it every night thank yiu for everything ^_^
ah — you're so sweet !! 🥺 i'm so thankful that you enjoy it, i really appreciate you reading my things and for stopping by !!
i don't have too many but !! here are some, in no particular order !!
viewfinder by rotpeach on ao3
i've already gone off on this fic before, but i genuinely think about it all the time. all the time. i will never get over how the first line made me feel, how awestruck i was at the concept of the story, and then how moved i was at the end, with the reveal. this fic makes me so — hmm — i really felt present in the reader. like i felt like i was going through life and these different stages of a relationship with dabi, idk ! definitely recommend !
kingdom of ashes by shibaraki on tumblr
i just recently found this fic and was so — uh, what ! bc i have thought to myself, what would a royal au look like with dabi ? bc i love to write royal au's and have considered them with, like, just about everyone LOL but could not picture one for dabi ! and this fic was so true to his character, i think, which i really appreciate. there's such a — idk, his personality is written so well here and it really carries throughout the story and setting. i also love arranged marriage au's so akfhkahfau the pining the angst the payoff woof.
take care by missmeinyourbones on tumblr
this fic is actually so cute ! i am such a softie for, like, dabi taking care of us. bc so many fics have us taking care of him — which, no hate, bc it is such a perfect position to put him in — and it was so nice to see it flipped ! he's trying so hard 🥺 and it's so sweet to see him attempting 🥺 especially bc — how long has it been since someone has taken care of him like this ? how much of this is he just kind of wading through, unsure of where to go or how to help or what to do next ? ah — so sweet !
heaven for nonbelievers by hawnks on tumblr
this is another fic that i have droned on and on about and also a fic i have thought about over and over again LOL one thing that i really love about this fic is something that i think is so rarely conveyed correctly ? by me especially, but: despite dabi and everything that he is and everything that he stands for and everything that he's done — at the core of it all, who is there to take care of you when you can't take care of yourself ? (just now realizing this is another care fic LOL) it just makes me feel so, idk, conflicted. bc you can believe in the heroes or you can believe in the villains, but at the end of the day, this is the person that makes sure you're fed, you know what i mean ? see, even i can't convey what is being conveyed here LOL but it's so good !
higher than the mountain, deeper than the sea by phen0l on ao3
oooohhh my god, i do not know where to begin. first of all — you need to seriously consider the warning tags for this fic, and if it is not your cup of tea, then please move on.
i am feral over this. i am studying it as if it were a holy text — which is kind of funny to say, given the tags LOL but no seriously, i. how do i say this. if if he's a serial killer was my tiny garden that i had grown in my backyard, then this fic is the entire field in the valley that is producing the best crops in the state. does that make sense as a metaphor ? idk ! but what i'm trying to say is that — this fic is everything that i wish if he's a serial killer could have been, and i kind of hate to say that bc i hate to keep bringing myself up LOL but it's bc of mao and her talent that this fic has such a special place inside my heart. i just think it is such an incredible deep dive into dabi's character and how love would make sense in his mind, and i think his relationship with the reader is very important and — sad to say — so fitting, maybe ? bc of the way they grew up, and it's just so well written and the depth of meaning and emotion and metaphor and symbolism that is woven so gracefully into the bones of the story. like. insanity. talent on another level. this isn't even half of what i could say about this fic, but it will definitely be in my compiled '22 rec list, so prepare for the novel that i will write at that time LOL
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justminawrites · 3 years ago
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Why Souma and Erina make Great Foils but Terrible Lovers (ft. EiRin)
See, there’s a very simply explanation for this: they never got to be friends. And with the way the series has progressed, it’s hard to imagine that they ever will, even in the future. Let me tell you why.
Souma’s character development is fairly standard throughout seasons 1 and 2, but starts to get worse halfway through season 3, when the story becomes heavily Erina-centric. 
He wants to be the best, he wants to prove everyone in this uppity school wrong for looking down on diners and small scale restaurants, especially one of the first people he ever meets there, his examiner Nakiri Erina, who fails him just because he  presents her with a low class dish. Along the way we meet multiple side characters who help him grow on his journey, notably: Tadokoro Megumi, Isshiki Satoshi, Shinomiya Kojiro, Mimasaka Subaru, Hayama Akira, and Arato Hisako, who teach him various lessons that help expand his world view. There may be a few others but these are all the main ones that I could think of. 
He goes from no small scale is The Best Way to Hold Up maybe these weird rich people are onto something after all. His interactions with these characters put him in difficult positions from where he always learns something, and we as an audience get to explore Souma’s personality through the way he reacts. 
With Isshiki we see his willingness to fight and since Isshiki is one of the first people he comes to respect in the academy, the first person who’s cooking skill absolutely floors him, we see Souma immediately humbled but still eager to learn from his gifted senior. Isshiki becomes a sort of standard here, not a real rival. 
With Megumi we see his protectiveness, his courage that borders on recklessness and when he’s put into a situation where he has to let her take the lead and just support (during the Shokugeki at camp) we see him finally come to terms with the consequences of that reckless behaviour. 
With Hayama we see his deep competitive streak, and his willingness to put aside his pride so that he can learn from someone who he considers his rival (Takumi doesn’t  count  because Souma doesn’t take him seriously 90% of the time). This is actually one of his more emotionally intelligent moments, which is rare to see in a character with such a one track state of mind.
With Mimasaka we see him start to question what really defines his own cooking; although this plot point is explored further in later seasons, the shokugeki with Mimasaka is where the seeds are sown because he has to compete with someone who is essentially a perfected copy of him. We even get IMO one of his best lines here: “It’s almost like I’m chasing myself.”
With Arato Hisako we see him come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t trying to surpass his father all this time, but just chase after him, content to remain one step behind like Hisako had so often done for Erina. 
With Shinomiya Kojiro we really really see him humbled (during the stagiaire) as he finally gets the feel of what it’s like being in a gourmet restaurant, where he’s completely out of his depth in every possible way, but doesn’t let it stop him from pouring his heart and soul into ingraining such an experience. Here, we really get to see his passion for cooking and how devoted he is to his craft. We also get to see his first speciality.
So all the way through your the first few seasons not only do we see how brave, smart, eager and persistent Souma is, we also see by contrast how Erina is none of these things. 
Blessed with her God Tongue ability and trained in Totsuki curriculum since she could walk, Erina has a kind of overpowered superhero energy- she never really has to work for any of her victories, making her the exact opposite of Souma. She wins everything with incredible speed, barely breaks a sweat during hell camp and to top it all off, she’s the only freshman who’s considered a part of the Elite 10, essentially one of the best students in this entire school.
Even during her Stagiaire arc we see that Erina has no intention of adapting or learning anything from the industry professionals, (technically failing the second intention of the exercise but I digress), preferring to run the kitchen herself like a queen and deliver results- but she does notably learn something from Megumi here. 
Souma and Erina don’t really have a good relationship in these first few seasons, what with her general dislike of any food she considers not gourmet, the clubs she closes down, and with his constant struggle to prove her wrong but there’s something lacking in this dynamic that really hits home once we get into the third season. 
It’s clear in nearly every situation they’re put into, Souma at the very least respects Erina as a chef. She, however, does not. No matter who he wins against, Erina refuses to acknowledge his cooking, actively being against him competing in the Autumn elections and expecting him to fail at camp. Her opinion of him is so low that she subsequently loses respect for people who fail to beat him, i.e. the way she abandoned Mito Ikumi after her Shokugeki. 
All of this comes to a head when, during the third season, Erina is forced to accept Souma’s help by hiding out in the Polar Star Dormitory when she “runs away” from home. This is the beginning of her redemption arc, and the beginning of Souma’s really bad character development. 
Once we learn about her backstory, Erina’s behaviour is a bit more explainable, bad parenting and brainwashing takes a heavy toll on a teenager indeed and while everyone else is immediately sympathetic towards our main heroine, Souma is not. 
When Senazaemon straight up BEGS for his help, the LITERAL DIRECTOR of Totsuki begs for his help, he responds with an indeterminate way of handling things which was along the lines of: “...their family situation seems pretty wack but that’s none of my business. But at the same time I’m not going to abandon her either so dw.”
He basically leaves her in the care of the dorm, and let’s not forget that at this point he barely knows anything about Erina except for the fact that she’s really pretentious and a stickler for that gourmet life. There’s no friendship here, there’s a borderline truce at best. 
During the advancement exams we see Erina take front and centre stage as she coaches the other PSD students and friends alike on how to pass it, and while it does seem that Souma is also benefiting from this exercise, their relationship doesn’t progress much. So we can assume their truce is in effect. We don’t see her outright respect him as a chef, but we don’t see her put him down either.
Once they go up against the elite 10 and everyone fails however, the focus shifts entirely. Here we see Souma’s confrontation with the latest member of the Elite 10, Hayama Akira, and this is where we start drawing parallels to the fifth season. 
Souma and Hayama’s relationship during the Bear meat arc is very similar to his relationship with Erina during the BLUE tournament, albeit for different reasons. 
When Souma finds out how Hayama lost his home and fell into Azami’s clutches, his first reaction is to yell at him about focusing on the match. Similarly, when he finds out Erina’s reasons for participating under duress in BLUE, her mother, he comes off as extremely cynical and just mean about the whole thing. 
This behaviour is extremely tone deaf from a guy who we know has the ability to be kind and sympathetic when the situation calls for it. He’s been kind with Megumi, with Takumi, even with Hisako on occasion. So why is he being so insufferable here? 
Why is his character taking such a downward turn from the original arc?
Most of it can be attributed to really bad writing, tension for tension’s sake and all that but I can argue that isn’t really out of left field for him to be so unbothered. This is because of his relationship between the two people in question. Hayama Akira and Nakiri Erina are arguably the only two people in the whole series that Souma genuinely considers his Rivals, i.e, the only two people he’s hell bent on proving wrong or showing up. 
They are in his opinion, everything wrong with Totsuki; both extreme purists when it comes to cooking, while Hayama does creatively make use of fragrance, both with Hypersensitive Gifts that give them an enormous advantage in their respective fields, and both who fail to acknowledge him as a chef. Hell, the two even say really similar things when they first meet him: “You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of surpassing me.”
In Hayama’s arc, he doesn’t take Souma seriously even after the autumn elections, relegating himself to top of the pyramid in line for the tenth seat after Erina, and sidelining the other two contenders: a fact that drives both Ryō and Souma quite mad. Even after he suffers crushing defeat during the Bear meat duel, he’s still completely unable to comprehend why Souma would go to such lengths, only for the other boy to turn around and tell him to his face that it was all for him. To beat him. For him to actually stop and recognise Souma as his equal, as his contender. 
This is one of the only two times where Souma goes out of his way to cool for a specific person, like his dad has been saying all along. 
We see this parallel drawn again in the fifth season where Erina, a chef he definitely respects, is pinning all her hopes on some magical dude who’s skill literally makes no sense (but I don’t want to talk about that), instead of trusting her own abilities which can definitely beat him. She’s undermining herself and by extension, him, and it irritates him because even After he beat Asahi, she doesn’t change. 
Obviously this is because she’s going through her own self doubt and abandonment issues but Souma doesn’t consider any of that, the same way he didn’t think about how losing the Shiomi seminar would affect Hayama either. 
So the second time he makes a dish for another person, to once again remind them of who they are (note: he used Hayama’s own subtract and emphasise technique in the bear meat), he uses Erina’s very first dish, the Eggs Benedict that she made at camp. This works, bringing Erina’s character development in full circle, she went from snooty elitist to bearable rich kid to someone so lost in herself that she’s forgotten what the core of her personality was: the actual culinary queen. 
Souma was always essential to Erina’s growth as a character, she wouldn’t have changed if it wasn’t for him- but Erina is only useful as a foil to him. There are lots of moments where instead of helping or giving any actually advice, she works as an instigator instead (note: Mimasaka’s Beef Stew arc) which doesn’t teach him anything on its own, but pushes him to learn from elsewhere. 
By sacrificing any possible harmony between these two, the story has continually driven the plot further than before; in fact, the show itself addresses this during the final Team Shokugeki battle between Souma and Erina against Rindou and Tsukasa, in season four. 
All throughout the season we saw what Rindou gives up for Tsukasa, so she doesn’t lose him: She votes for Azami despite deeply disagreeing with his views, she enforces the new curriculum even though she thinks it’s stupid, in the manga she even gives up the possibility of first seat just so she doesn’t get in the way of Tsukasa’s dreams! We never see her compete with him once, not even through booths during the Moon Banquet festival! 
But Rindou is an important part of his character arc nevertheless. She pushes him to grow as a person, to be more confident, to put more of himself in his food while he helps temper her otherwise fiery and impulsive nature. They compliment, not just challenge one another- there is a natural balance between them, which isn’t there for SouEri. 
That’s not to say they don’t have their faults too. Their relationship scales have been tipped with the introduction of Azami and we can see this clearly with the first and last meal Rindou is asked to make during the season. 
Her first match against Megishima had her make something that was 100% show stopper of a main dish, but when she was tasked to work with Tsukasa, Rindou was assigned the appetiser. Even though it was just an appetiser she still managed to add her own little signature twist (ants!), showing how even if she has to play second fiddle, she’s able to do it for Tsukasa. 
(This pairing was very well handled in season 5, where Tsukasa was relegated to the decoy as Rindou went and put an end to the Noir chef’s plans, but since we still got more screen time of Tsukasa it felt kinda like a cop out ngl.)
Relationships, like Set Meals, require understanding and compromise. In contrast Souma and Erina were a wreck of a team.
 I was actually very invested in this because this is the first time we see Souma actively not wanting to work with someone throughout the whole series. During the prior team battle, we see him, Takumi and Megumi flawlessly execute their respective dishes under due pressure without breaking a sweat, even borrowing one another ideas, so we know Souma isn’t disagreeable or anything. He’s perfectly fine working in a team or solo- but he particularly doesn’t want to work in a team with Erina. 
Souma even goes so far as to spell it out for the audience when he says, “How can there be any teamwork between us?”, and “This is a Shokugeki between me and You.” And for that most part that was true. They completely disregarded the aim, which was to create a Set Meal, and opted to instead create individual masterpieces- obviously they won because the food was just excellent, but it doesn’t change the fact that they were never a team. And it certainly doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t want them to be. 
He doesn’t want any kind of cohesion between them; she is his rival and that’s all there is to it. During the BLUE tournament this happens again, every time she seeks sympathy or understanding, that the others give her readily, Souma refuses to sympathise with or understand her. It’s not because he can’t- sure, he’s not great at comforting people, but he comforted Megumi to the best of his ability in season 1- but because he doesn’t want to. 
This hurts her. There’s no two ways about it. Erina almost never opens up. She never makes excuses for herself and always holds her food to the highest of standards, and the only few times she’s sought help are under extreme pressure situations but he still refuses to give up his prejudice. 
It sounds pretty bad at first but you have to remember that Souma tried to befriend her. In the beginning during the second season he admits that he can’t really get along with Erina because of her prickly personality and the awkwardness between them. While his relationship with Hayama improved marginally, Erina still continued to tsundere her way into distancing him from her quite a bit until her dad came along and flipped tables.
So for Souma it’s probably just flat out weird seeing Erina make such a drastic shift between how she normally is and her trauma response, and he straight up doesn’t want to get into why. He just wants her to go back to normal, all smug and critical so he can wipe the smile off her face with one of his dishes.
He cares about her as any normal person would but he doesn’t care about her feelings and she’s never really cared about his either. 
Souma’s chosen method of communication is FOOD. It’s his cooking that speaks for him 90% of the time, because that’s the only language he’s become fluent in under his Dad’s tutelage. If Erina understands this about him (doubtful), she doesn’t show it even once; she puts her pride above complimenting his food, even if it’s well deserved, and comes off as ungrateful solely so she doesn’t admit defeat. 
To be fair, she’s like this with everyone in PSD, so it’s safe to assume it’s just her personality- possibly even her way of showing affection, giving critique freely when it’s been something she’s paid to do. But with Souma it’s turned up to 100 and there’s barely any critique and a whole lot of pettiness. 
The way these two communicate is at such extreme odds of the spectrum that quite frankly it’s like they’ve been built to compete. Built to one up the other, but not really built to understand each other at all. It’s Pride and Prejudice forever. No middle ground between the two of them, which is ridiculous because the way to solve their problem is right there. 
In Souma’s mom. 
People who haven’t read the manga probably have no idea but Yukihira Tamako passed away from a terminal disease that was hereditary, leaving Souma and his dad all alone when he was around 5 ish. TERMINAL DISEASE. Literally similar to how Mana wasted away because of the God Tongue until she picked up and abandoned Erina and her father too. The answer was RIGHT THERE bro. 
If SnS had just had these two bond over their parents and going through similar experiences during season 5, the transition between rivals to begrudging friends to ohmygod-this-person-actually-understands-me-more-than-I-first-thought would have been iconic. It would’ve been a Zuko/Katara moment: the true enemies to lovers trope. 
But the author sacrificed all of that for the sake of the plot (and Asahi ig idk I hate him.) so the story just chugged on like it always did before a six month time skip and suddenly Erina admitting she loves him or something? How? From where???  When did that happen??? Did you just realise one day when you woke up?? 
How did Erina win BLUE in the first place- didn’t the castle explode??? What is even going on??? 
It would have been so EASY to fix the writing in season 5, because all you had to do was have them realise that they have more in common than they thought, and then have Erina act like a slightly more petty version of Ikumi (MY QUEEN) and you have yourself a solid foundation for a romance at least. 
Okay it doesn’t fix ALL the problems in their dynamic but it gives them a starting point to work with for sure. It’s not a relationship, but it’s not whatever the hell it was after the BLUE tournament either. I can even live with the fact that they basically threatened chefs with eating good food, so that they could report them to the police. I can live with that. 
TLDR: Anyway long story short, canon SouEri ain’t it. Have a nice day everyone. 
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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago
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Filterless
Corpse Husband x Plus-sized Reader (Female)
Warnings: Body Image Insecurities, Low self-esteem, Swearing
Genre:  Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Feeling comfortable in her skin has hardly ever been the case for Y/N who’s been struggling with body image issues all her life. However, they only get worse when she sees the ‘type’ of girls her crush is into.
Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request (hits close to home 😅) I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to fulfill it and post it but here it finally is and if you’ve stuck around long enough to read it, I hope you enjoy! ALSO! - Never forget how beautiful and amazing you are. Never compare your beauty to someone else’s. We’re all beautiful people and we all shine so brightly and uniquely. No one deserves to be compared to anyone when we’re all so different yet so incredible. Love you and appreciate you with all my heart, Vy ❤
If I ever need my ego taken down a few notches - it never does, it’s barely even present, to be honest - all I have to do is go on Instagram. To be honest, regardless of how I’m feeling, opening that app is bound to make my mood plummet and come crashing into the ground so hard it drives a hole in it - probably in the form of a broken heart.
Being a content creator myself, I often get asked questions about my absence on that social platform specifically. I mean, the questions are based and rational I guess, considering I’m not a faceless YouTuber and yet my Instagram account is void of any photos. It’s not like I don’t post at all - I do! I post on my story often but it’s more often than not scenery I find pretty or a poster I’ve made for a movie/video game. Bottom line is: I barely ever allow a picture of me to make it online. The most my fans are ever gonna get of me is a selfie which is also a super rare occurrence because of how long it takes me to take and choose one I don’t hate.
Ok, but how am I supposed to find the motivation to post any sort of picture of myself when on my timeline I’m always faced with people worthy of posting pictures of themselves. People with such perfect bodies and beautiful faces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous or envious of those people - good for them! They know what they’re working with and they’re working it well. I have nothing against them, in fact, I love seeing people proud of their bodies no matter their size, shape or weight. Those are my role-models: people who are proud of themselves, their bodies, their attributes and capabilities and don’t hesitate to show them off. Those are the people I look up to but, deep down inside I know I’ll never be like.
Insecure about my body, having been referred to as ‘chubby’ and ‘squishy’ all my life. Inappreciative of the stuff I do: starting from my job as a graphic designer leading towards my job on YouTube - nothing I do, professionally or otherwise, satisfies me. Nothing I do is enough in my eyes because I feel incapable of ever being able to do enough. I’ve been called lazy and a half-asser a few too many times to be able to brush it off as a meaningless insult. 
With these problems I’ve had with myself and my own perception of who I am and the work I do, I’ve never had the time for romance or romantic relationships. I second-guess the intentions of everyone who ever shows any interest in me because in my mind I’m nothing special and I have nothing to offer - nothing attractive or likable at least. That being said, I haven’t even been one to make heart eyes at others either. I busy myself with my job and some side-gigs, brushing off any relationship questions with the excuse that I’m ‘just too busy to be in a relationship’ which is technically true.
Having spent twenty plus years with that mindset, one can imagine how surprised I was when I found myself catching feelings for someone. And that someone just couldn’t be any other than the biggest YouTube sensation at the moment - Corpse Husband.
I’m close friends with Poki - her and I were roommates at one point too - so her inviting me to play Among Us with them wasn’t so strange. One or two games, I thought, nothing unusual there, just friendly curtesy. I wasn’t expecting to warm up to the group of famous streamers nor did I expect them to welcome me among them so easily, mostly because my channel is so small and practically invisible to the YouTube algorithm. But soon enough, I became a permanent member of the team, making friends with every single one of those YouTubers I practically thought of a celebrities.
This journey of branching out to other content creators has proven itself to be surprisingly pleasant and has packed my book of friendships to the brim. All of that came unexpectedly, along with a wave of new subs and a higher view count. However, as I mentioned, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. I came to finally understand what my high school friends were talking about when they were head over heels for a boy - the butterflies in the stomach whenever he speaks your name; the importance of the laugh you share with him, how special and different it is; how cool it is to be impostors with him - ok they never said that, obviously, but it’s what I have as a substitute to the ‘when the two of you make eye-contact’ bullshit since Corpse and I have never seen each other in person. That is, of course, because of him being a faceless YouTuber and me being a self-conscious and insecure girl.
We do talk all the time though - texting, calling, chilling on Discord, you name it. Our conversations range from deeply philosophical to ones that might mislead someone into thinking we’re high. There’s no topic we haven’t touched upon and yet we still manage to find something new to talk about. We have plenty of similarities but we also never seem to run out of differences we slowly come across as we keep getting to know each other better and better. 
And somewhere along that journey I ended up catching feelings.
Human nature of wanting to connect with other people, I curse you for what you’ve done to me.
You might think I’m being overdramatic about the whole ordeal and that this is just a normal, natural occurrence many people experience in their life - some even daily. Well, not only am I far from used to it, but it’s also taking a toll of a different kind on me.
It’s like a constant slap to the face. 
That slap turned into a punch when Corpse and I started following each other on Instagram and I started getting daily reminders of how out of my depth I am with this crush on him. In over my head, especially when you look at all those girls whose pics and videos he reposts on his story. Imagine how that makes me feel, what that does to me - puts me back into the ‘Constantly not good enough‘ basket, the one I’ve been fighting to get out of all my life. In the past and in different contexts I could easily say that it was all just my mind hating me intensely but now - now that I know for a fact I’m not good enough and don’t fit Corpse’s criteria - it hurts ten times as much. I’m not one to do shit for someone’s attention or to attract someone’s eyes, but it really hurts my feelings. Often times, it also leads me to doing dumb things and making rash decisions. 
Like the one I made two days ago.
Imagine me cringing and shaking my head at my own stupidity as I admit this: I, in a frenzy, ordered a whole e-girl getup with overnight delivery. 
Wait, hold up, it gets worse. 
I received it yesterday and spent the whole day regretting that decision, but then, in my most insecure hours - which was somewhere around midnight - I equipped the get-up, took a picture and posted it on my Instagram page. First full body pic I’ve ever posted on there. First pic I’ve posted there of any kind. There to stay, not to be gone in twenty four hours. First pic, and it’s not even of me. It’s of who I want to be in order to fit someone’s criteria. And that fucking stings.
As you might imagine, I’ve spent today’s day regretting that decision as well. Recently my mood’s been nothing but regretting rash decisions that have surfaced under the influence of my ridiculous, constantly-present insecurities. And I would’ve probably gotten over it rather quickly had I not received a message from Corpse that read:
“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic“
I didn’t open the message, I peeped at it as it was a notification on my lock screen. It’s still there, an unread notification. It’s been two hours since I received it and I cannot think of a single thing to say in response to that. 
Truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of so many things right now.
I’m afraid of becoming that girl in the photo, cause I’m most definitely not her.
I’m afraid of letting Corpse down by admitting I’m not her.
I’m afraid of what my own mind has made me do because it hates me so much and I’m terrified of what it might do in the future.
I’m afraid and stranded on things to do.
You can’t be her forever, you know. Being her won’t make your insecurities go away, it’ll only make them worse. Haven’t you learned that by now?
I sigh, frustrated and irritated with myself as I grab my phone and tap on the notification, finally deciding to face the music and allow my instincts to carry me through the interaction. Improvisation, that’s one of the few things I’m good at. Let’s hope it doesn’t fail me.
I’m just about to type out my response - not sure what it’s gonna say - when I give the message Corpse has sent me a second glance.  I furrow my brows, finding there’s more to it than that peep through the notification let me see.
“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic. You’re personality is so bright and colorful, I could’ve never imagined you were into the darks and blacks“
Because I’m not
I fail to realize until the message has been sent that my thoughts are exactly what I typed out and sent.
And honestly, I’m glad. It feels like I’ve spoken my truth, like I’ve lifted a huge boulder off my chest.
With that rare confidence in mind I go on and delete the picture.
In its spot, I post a picture I just now took - a mirror selfie in my homey get-up consisting of hot pink sweatpants and an oversized blue tee, my hair in a messy bun, my face free of make-up.
I caption it: ‘Oops, had the e-girl filter on for the last one. This is filterless me tho so...Hi 🥴’
A lot better, I’m surprised to hear my inner voice say. I hope I don’t get used to all this kindness on my brain’s part, probably won’t last, but damn if I don’t milk every second of it.
Just then, I receive a new message from non other than Corpse.
“Now that’s the girl I see when I think of you. She’s super cute 😉“
My, oh my, who would’ve guessed Corpse has a game like that - and by that I mean the ability to make me blush so intensely with only a text message.
Now ain’t that better than being someone else, Y/N?
It sure is, it sure is.
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notchesandbullets · 4 years ago
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Wherever You Go, I Will Follow (Boxer! Metal Arm! Bakugou x Reader) Underground!AU
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Art credit: @/helloclonion on Instagram
Warnings: violence, drinking (everyone is of age), hints of ptsd and depression, mentions of cloning norms, angst but fluffy ending.
Synopsis: Bakugou doesn’t like to talk about what happened to his left arm. Years of fighting underground had made him harder than nails. Society was messed up. Children weren’t born, they were made and any who aren’t adopted are raised in mass orphanages. But you’re special. And you’ve chosen the light even though you’ve seen the darkness. Who else to get through to his heart other than someone like you?
Words: 7.8k
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The lights blind you momentarily as they flashed on. The humidity in such a crowded space packed with people was making your skin crawl but it was worth it for the greatly anticipated show.
An underground arena that had this much hype was rare since most fighters didn’t make it past their 20s due to injuries so severe from boxing that it cost them their lives.
There were zero qualified doctors here in the society riddled with old factories that didn't exist anymore and sleazy underground cities where nothing could grow anymore due to the pollution. It had fallen to ruin and only a select handful that could heal like they claimed to. 
Due to that little insignificant fact, that meant the expected lifespan of everyone down here wasn’t more than 30 years of age.
Of course, it varied from section to section, but there was enough pattern to know that there wasn’t long to live once you got to your teens.
Therefore, everyone lived fast and hard down here, trying to experience as much as they could before it was their time to go.
And while you couldn’t say that you blamed them, that wasn’t how you wanted to live. You wanted to fight back against the norm and make a difference that would change this world.
Which is why you were so interested in this particular fighter.
Bakugou Katsuki. 
A reformed individual with a criminal record after a looting with his crew went sideways. He was stronger than most with an attitude and ego bigger than the city itself.
He was renowned to be one of the baddest in the underground and had a personality as difficult as a cloned Siberian tiger.
You sighed and rolled your eyes. You didn’t know why Mic couldn’t come scout today instead of you, you hated how jam packed Bakugou’s fights got, which is why you always steered clear of them.
Well, that and because you weren’t exactly partial to his famed temper.
Then, the glint of metal had you on the edge of your seat, eyes sparkling with curiosity as you caught a better look the second time around as he stomped into the ring. 
Was that… a metal arm?
It looked like something straight out of Marvel’s Winter Soldier from back in the day. Scarily so. 
You faintly recalled that his opponent’s name was Shindou, supposedly the underground’s upcoming rising star to the top. His undefeated reputation preceded him and he certainly was easy on the eyes.
So why did you find your gaze drawn to the arrogant boxer with a cocky smirk on his face across from the guy that was cuter than him?
Metal arm flexing, sweat dripped down his brow, his crimson eyes narrowed in concentration and tinged with a hint of malice as his much larger rival took a swing at him to kick off the round.
Bakugou blocked it head on, retaliating with a force that sent him spiraling towards the cage. His wrapped hands were crusted with blood and he hastily brushed the dirtied, spiky hair that fell into his eyes out of his face, a ravenous hunger coming through as he bounced on the balls of his feet. 
“Is that all you fucking got, extra?!” He screamed in Shindou’s face and you actually had to cover your ears at the sheer volume that carried through the stadium, egging him on.
Your mouth dried as Bakugou caught him across the jaw the second he flew at him, knocking out his opponent in one go, calling the match in under thirty seconds flat. 
Holy shit, he’s good. You thought to yourself, thoroughly impressed, barely able to hear yourself over the crowd’s roar as Bakugou punched his fist in the air victoriously. 
His technique seemed rough to the naked eye but taking a closer look, his form and tactics were flawless. His overall strategy could use a little work, since he seemed particularly keen on using brute strength, but he was really good at turning the tables on his opponent in an instant.
And really good at making sure that they couldn’t get up again after he threw them down.
You had your share of good fighters. Not like that, you dirty minded creature, you were a scout for your father’s gym. 
Aizawa wasn’t a revered name by any means, but that didn’t mean he lacked skill. He was the one who could take down more people than any other pro could, but he absolutely hated media attention. Hence why almost no one knew of his abilities, other than a select few of his colleagues and fellow fighters. 
And you of course. You were so incredibly proud of your him.
He had recently been scouting new talent after taking in several kids: Shinsou, Todoroki and Midoriya. 
The female boxers in his ring were a literal force to be reckoned with. You weren’t sure you’d ever seen someone pack a punch with as much power as Uraraka when she got serious. And no one could beat Yaoyorozu when they stepped in the same arena as her.
In the underground, it was normal to come across those that talked big, but rarely have you ever seen them deliver.
This guy had some raw talent. Perfect. 
Looks like Uncle Hizashi’s instinct was right.
After the fights ended and the exciting night came to a close, you wormed your way through the rows of people lining up to claim their bets that they had placed at the beginning of the night. You were at least smart enough not to get sucked into all that. 
A cage match had too many variables. The odds could change in a split second, no matter how good or bad the fighter was. And since there were no rules, anybody could win. 
You found the boxer in the designated fighters’ alcove security had put there especially for them to wind down. Here, they would be hidden away from the crowd and only the fighters knew about this spot aside from those that protected it.
“You’re good.”
Bakugou snorted, not looking up at the sound of your voice as he continued to unwrap the tape from his hands. “Of course I am, dumbass.”
You cocked an eyebrow at his arrogant attitude but after a fight like that, you guessed the pride was well deserved. After all, the guy he went up against was undefeated. No one had beat him and after Shindou earned his reputation of tearing the limbs off of the fighters he faced, no one wanted to step into the ring with him after that.
But Bakugou didn’t back away, even going so far as to taunt this guy, boldly proclaiming that he’d beat him.
Normally, you would brush off those guys as no good but he made good on what he said he would do, so you were at least a little bit curious.
A little.
You still didn’t like his attitude though. 
Tossing the bloodied wraps in his bag, he ignored you as you just stood there like a lost puppy. People like you didn’t belong in the underground.
Soft.
Bakugou scowled and huffed scornfully, throwing his bandages down with a little more force than necessary. 
Patching up wasn’t too bad this time around. He was lucky the round ended when it did though, that fucking extra had too much boisterous energy and willpower that had carried him this far. Still, it was better than fighting bare-knuckled. 
There was a time when wraps or gloves weren’t allowed. People liked the blood and violence, and craved someone to come out victorious by taking the other’s life.
Fucking sickos if anyone asked him. 
Bakugou slung his gym bag over his shoulder and shouldered his way past you since you had yet to say a word after that initial, begrudging praise. He couldn’t care less if you hung around but he wasn’t going to stick around for the damn media to catch whiff of this fight.
Once it was leaked that he had won, they would take a percentage of his cut and he would have to go without food for another week just to pay rent on that shitty place he stayed at. 
It wasn’t much but it was better than the streets.
“Wait.” You called out, inwardly chastising yourself for being so pathetic. 
You weren’t star-struck or nothing, so why were you feeling so tongue-tied?
Taking a deep breath when he snapped his head around to glare at you in annoyance for stopping him, you rolled your eyes when he tapped his foot impatiently. 
“You gonna take all fucking night, extra?” Bakugou barked at you, clearly not playing around. 
Your eyes widened as the metal plates on his left arm clinked together as he raised up his fist threateningly.
“I’ve got places to go and shit to do.” He grumbled. “So if you’re just going to stand there like a fucking—”
“Do you want to be a part of Aizawa’s gym?” You blurted out before he could get too carried away on his rant.
Bakugou arched an eyebrow in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. It was rare that the scruffy old man took on recruits.
Huffing, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and scrutinized you. “Who the hell are you?”
You cringed at how rough his voice laced with suspicion came out but you supposed you could understand. 
Collectors were far too common these days, usually rich scouts from corporations that searched for talented fighters to partake in their financial war when it turned bloody.
You weren’t really sure how it was possible for those airheads to train delinquents into soldiers for their military to fight in the wars that they created, but all you were really concerned about was dodging those scouts.
They weren’t people to trifle with.
Bakugou’s suspicions were misplaced this time around though and you jutted out your hip, planting your hand on it as you regarded him disinterestedly. 
There was only one thing that you could say to get him to trust you.
“He’s my dad.” You said quietly.
The boxer nearly choked on air and you flashed him a cheeky grin when he whipped his head around to glare at you.
“Fuck, seriously?”
You nodded and a heavy exhale whooshed out of his lungs in one breath.
Bakugou cocked up an eyebrow, seeing you in a completely different light. “Holy shit.”
You resisted the urge to dash away under his intrigue but you flinched when his eyes landed on you again.
“Sorry.” Bakugou muttered, averting his eyes. “Just never seen one before.”
You scratched the back of your neck, a habit you picked up from your introverted father whenever he was put in uncomfortable situations. “Yeah…”
Children weren’t born anymore, it was illegal. Partly because expenses couldn’t be covered if people got pregnant and partly because the kids would have nowhere to go, but mostly because the government wanted a controlled population. 
By controlling the gene pool, they could create whoever and whomever they chose, placing them in different status’ around the world to fill in the gaps and create the perfect society.
Except, it really wasn’t all that perfect.
You had been a product of your mom and dad’s unconditional love for each other, something else that was also forbidden, especially in the underground cities where disease ran rampant and claimed numerous innocent lives everyday. 
Your mother wasn’t dead but she did have to leave soon after you were born to protect you from the government officials that would come if she stayed.
Your dad was heartbroken but once every three years, the three of you were reunited under the bridge where seagulls cried and the waves crashed upon the shore.
Once upon a time.
Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest, his bicep bulging and you were willing to wager that he specifically got those measurements for his metal arm tailored to those specifications just so his huge muscles were distractingly the same size. 
He was still not entirely convinced you were who you said you were. He knew that you had to at least be a bastard’s biological child, no one was bold enough or fucking stupid to say that much out loud, but he still wasn’t sure that the old man was your dad.
Not bothering to be discreet as he eyed you up and down, he motioned for you to give him a little more information.
“Aizawa, huh?” Bakugou drawled. “You don’t fucking look like a brat that belongs to him.”
Clearing your throat, you smirked. Now you were the one tapping your foot impatiently. “Thanks, I’m told I have my mother’s eyes.”
He glared at your sarcasm but you didn’t care.
Craning your neck to the side to get a better look at that beautiful arm of his, you pouted when he ducked out of range.
“Prove that he’s your dad.” He demanded and you feigned innocence before shooting him a grin when he rolled his eyes irritably. 
Crossing your arms over your chest, you responded cheekily, “Coffee and cats are his two favorite things in the world, and he only tolerates Uncle Hizashi on a whim when he’s wasted.”
Bakugou barked out laughing and you smiled at the boisterous sound escaping from his lungs. 
“So,” You kicked your feet, scuffing the dirt as you sidled over to him. “You in or what?”
His left arm glinted in the dim, flickering light of the alcove and he tucked in his chin the slightest bit to stare down at you, the corner of his mouth quirked up.
“Hell yeah.”
Exactly one year later, you were weaving in between the clustered bodies in the dingy underground bar you were at to make your way to the obnoxious and rowdy group in the back, all while balancing a tray of beers in one hand.
They had just arrived a few minutes ago, eagerly chatting with your dad, who was their trainer, even though he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but here.
Your skirt flared around your ankles as you sashayed through the crowd dancing on the dancefloor, a couple strands of hair sticking to your forehead from the exertion of how many tables you waited on already.
“First round’s here!!” You announced, beaming brightly at the packed group of 15.
Shoji, Mineta, and a few others couldn’t make it due to conflicting schedules. But it was alright, they would come again another time. Besides, you were quite sure that a special someone couldn’t care less if they made it or not for this particular day. 
“YES!!” Kaminari shouted escatically, throwing his hands up in the air.
A chorus of “thank you’s” came from the girls as Ashido eagerly reached for her first drink of the night, downing half the bottle in one go. You predicted she was going to be out like a light within the hour if she kept that pace up. 
“Don’t get shitfaced, Kaminari.” Jirou twirled a strand of her dark hair cockily as she teasingly held the last one out of arm’s reach. “Lightweight.”
“Jirou!!” Kaminari protested while the table burst into laughter.
The edgy fighter eventually gave into him, shaking her head in disapproval when he proceeded to chug all of it straight like it was some kind of shot. A knowing smirk appeared on her face when he choked.
“Told you so.” She rubbed in his face as Asui leaned into her side.
“Shut up!!” Kaminari shouted between violent bouts of coughing. It only got worse when Ashido slapped his back, already drunk.
But the slight pink dusted across his cheeks clued you in on what he was really doing.
You shook your head. If he was any more dense, you would’ve smacked him upside the head. Maybe then he would’ve come to his senses and that he didn’t need to do all these things to impress her. 
Jirou never hated anything more than someone who felt fake to her.
As you distributed the rest of the drinks to a clueless Todoroki, a way too eager Midoriya, and handed water to Koda, who thanked you shyly with a small nod.
You smiled at him, then left to the bar that your uncle was managing to get the order for the next table while Iida shouted for everyone to make sure they drank responsibly so that they didn’t cause any problems for you. 
But it was largely ignored in favor of raising their beers in a toast for the birthday boy.
Bakugou scowled in the corner that he was shoved into, wondering why he of all people had to be dragged to this shitty celebration for a birthday he couldn’t care less about. It was too loud here and it was making his head hurt. The only consolation he got was that you were a rare sight, wearing a dress that he had bought for you a week ago.
The seamstress who had made it for him specifically had charged him an incredible amount of money for it, since fabric of any kind that wasn’t made from recycled garbage liners was nearly impossible to come by.
But being a part of the ring of fighters that made up Aizawa’s Warriors gave him credibility and enabled him to make even more money than he did before, so it wasn’t a problem.
That much. 
After rent on his rundown place and scrounging for food, he had saved up the rest for weeks before he was able to afford the pale blue satin dress edged with delicate white lace around the sleeves that cascaded off your shoulders. The tightly-fitted bodice that wrapped around your waist was a simple leather corset, accentuating those curves of yours more than should be legally allowed.
You looked absolutely delicious. 
You continued to sweep around the tavern, oblivious to the looks you were getting. You had a bit of expertise in waitressing due to the lack of income your dad was able to provide so you had to convince him that you really didn’t mind helping out with the staff tonight.
The bar, owned by your Uncle Hizashi, a retired fighter but not retired in spirit, had all the profits go to the orphanages the city couldn’t keep track of or be bothered to pay for; which enabled those kids who were abandoned to have a roof over their heads in all the uncertainty.
The state of those houses holding those homeless children were horrendous. 
But your dad and uncle were taking steps to create something new that would provide them with some relief and a new family.
Kirishima clapped the ash-blond on the shoulder, jarring him out of his annoyance. “Come on, Bakugou, loosen up!!” 
He clicked his tongue and scowled at the red-haired guy’s energy. No one would think that this fun-loving guy and people person would be such a terrifying fighter in the arena.
Kirishima frowned when he noticed his lack of enthusiasm. “C’mon man, I know this isn’t your scene but Y/N worked really hard on this.”
Bakugou’s drink nearly spilled as he set it down abruptly. He wasn’t expecting that. Aizawa had told him that his friends had arranged this.
Picking up on his confusion, Kirishima then proceeded to tell him about how you gathered everybody to ask if they’d be willing to attend the party and how all of them enthusiastically said yes. You had gotten special permission from your Uncle Hizashi to borrow the VIP section of his bar and convinced your father to go easy on their training today. 
Really, the grumpy man with the metal arm should be thanking you since you were the reason all of them weren’t sore to death with barely enough energy to keep their heads up. 
Kirishima was going to blame it on Aizawa. He was tough on them. Too tough. No one should be that determined to make their students push past their limits but everyone knew it came from him caring more than anyone else. 
They were all like his adopted children, in a weird, skewed way. But, no one was going to argue against it. None of them had their biological parents in the picture. 
Besides, Aizawa had enough room for them all to crash in his home. An abandoned mansion overrun with thick green vines but had no working electricity whatsoever looked like something straight out of one of those old horror movies back in the 3000s. 
Bakugou scoffed. Like hell should he care about whether or not you planned this. He didn’t ask you to do any of this, you decided to do it all on your own. 
“Whatever.” He grumbled, snatching his bottle before stalking away from his shocked friends left in the dust. 
Todoroki raised an eyebrow as Kirishima sighed and Midoriya’s expression saddened when he saw him leave. They were supposed to be celebrating…
And yet, all three of them knew why today was so hard for the explosive boxer.
You frowned as you noticed the slumped figure retreating to the back of the establishment. Finishing up serving the drinks for the table you were waiting on, you briefly made a detour to your uncle and asked if it was alright that you take a break.
Ever the doting uncle who loved to spoil you rotten, Mic’s eyes softened understandingly when he noticed who you were staring after and granted you permission.
“Just don’t tell your dad I let you off the hook.” He bargained with an exaggerated wink and you giggled.
“I won’t.” You reassured, setting down the tray and squeezing his hand in thanks.
Then, you followed Bakugou. 
He disappeared around the corner and as soon as you tailed him, you came to a stop in front of a heavy door. Your brow furrowed, wondering why he would be coming here. 
Step after familiar step you took until you eventually came to a standstill on the roof.
Behind you, the heavy door slammed close but it sounded different than usual. Something metal crashed into it, denting it by the sounds of it, and it wasn’t until you turned around that you found Bakugou’s vermilion eyes boring into yours.
The wind was stronger up here and you pinned your arms down to your side, knowing full well from experience how mortifying it would be if your skirt decided to flip up right now.
“What the fuck are you doing up here?” He snapped angrily.
To his surprise, you didn’t look the least bit fazed by his outburst.
“I live here.” You responded nonchalantly, undeterred by his characteristic abrasiveness. 
If Bakugou was startled at that revelation, he didn’t show it. If anything, he looked even more irked, though you didn’t know why. He didn’t have any reason to suspect you of lying but in this world, it was safer to be skeptical than sorry.
However, you hadn’t given him one reason to doubt you the entire year you’ve known him. Not one.
So if anything, he trusted you more than the majority of the rats in his rundown city and just as much as his small circle of extras. 
Picking your way past him carefully since the roof didn’t have a safety rail, you made your way towards the curtained tent hiding behind the generator. Pushing the tattered material back, you showed him the bedroll and small table set up with a few bottles of water, a case of beer and a worn book. 
Bakugou’s mouth dropped open but he recovered quickly so by the time you turned back around, he had the same indifferent, kind of irritated look on his face.
Then, he was a bit at a loss of what to do. It wasn’t often he was faced with the dilemma of being wrong so blatantly. Should he apologize? Even when he didn’t say anything but the thought that you were crazy ran through his head? Should he apologize for something you weren’t even aware of?
Nah, fuck that.
You gingerly took a seat at the edge of the roof, leaning back on your hands as your legs dangled. Patting the spot next to you invitingly, a soft smile curved on the corners of your mouth as he grumbled but came over anyway. He plopped down on your right side and you took a moment to study him. 
He looked exhausted, spirit whittled down to the bone until there was nothing left for him to salvage. His eyes were bloodshot and the beer bottle in his hand probably wasn’t doing any favors for him.
Glancing at him out of the corner of your eyes, you asked worriedly, “You okay?”
He huffed in annoyance at your question.
“Fine.” He ground out through clenched teeth and you shut your mouth.
Bakugou clearly wasn’t looking to talk but you yearned to help. You wanted to be there for him. 
Kirishima hadn’t told you much, only that the incident that took Bakugou’s arm happened a long time ago and wasn’t something he liked to relive. 
You didn’t push it. You had your own share of traumatic experiences in this god-forsaken place and hated nothing more than being forced to talk about by a well meaning friend. So you understood it well. 
Instead of pushing the topic, you sat with him in silence. You didn’t ask why he walked away from the party or why it looked like he was drowning himself in his sorrows to forget something, you just offered him a quiet place to sit, with the company of yours truly.
Fate was flawed. You knew that ever since you were born.
The warped sense of justice that the city had was suffocating. People were put away in prison only to be left to rot with no chance of redemption. Those that made it out were casted out to the underground with no hope to see the light. 
Combatants-for-hire wasn’t an unusual job to take on in the ruined city. All Might knew you too had been mixed up in some shit. 
But it was what made you strong in the end.
“I’m here.” Was all you said softly, staring out at the city lights that were especially illuminating tonight.
Thanks to the heavy pollution, the stars could no longer be seen with the naked eye so this was the closest thing you could get to those twinkling lights raised high in the sky. 
“It’s funny.”
You tilted your head towards him as he spoke and was a bit surprised to find him looking directly back at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher. 
His eyes were a little dazed, probably from the alcohol, but he looked a little more grounded than he did a minute ago.
Bakugou chuckled but it was short and grated against your ears for a second.
It was mocking.
He tipped his head back, downing the rest of his drink before harshly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand while he crushed the bottle in his metal fist.
Leaning over, he let go and let the shiny crystals plummet to the ground below. 
You smiled faintly, watching how they sparkled. It looked so pretty. 
Sitting back down, Bakugou mimicked your posture and huffed out a dry laugh. “Out of all the shitty extras in the world, you would be the only one to fucking get through to me.”
Your puzzlement must’ve shown through his alcohol-induced haze because the next thing you knew was that he teetered to the side as he lost control of his equilibrium and careened into you.
Out of reflex, you caught him and gasped at the temperature difference as his cold metal arm pressed against you. You could feel it through the thin fabric of your dress and latched onto it when he moved to pull away.
“Sorry.” Bakugou slurred curtly as he gathered his bearings and tried to detangle you from him. 
But his coordination wasn’t the best and he was growing more and more frustrated when you wouldn’t let go.
He snarled. “Let go.”
You shook your head firmly. “You could fall.”
Oh yeah. You two were on the roof. 
This was a bad idea. 
He didn’t know how he ended up here with you but he needed to leave. Immediately. 
Bakugou stumbled to his feet, somehow managing to lose his way halfway to the door and face-planted in something that smelled faintly of lavender. Snuggling into the soft thing that was rubbing against his face, his brow furrowed in annoyance as you giggled at him.
“You have to take me out on a date first if you want that.” You teased lightly and he immediately sat up as he realized he had crashed in your bed.
He scrambled upright, nearly falling over again in his haste. “Fuck, I’m—”
“It’s alright, Katsuki.” You reassured nonchalantly, coming down to sit beside him, but not close enough where your legs were touching.
Bakugou’s mouth twitched at the sound of his first name but his eyes softened the barest bit and he didn’t fight against it. 
Before he met you, he hated his name. It was a reminder that the place he came from was from a lab, cooked up like some sort of sick science experiment to fulfill a role in society that was chosen by some prick who had money.
It was a reminder that he wasn’t real. That he was expendable to all those bastards that ran the world.
But when you used it, when you spoke it with such tentative curiosity and genuine concern, he didn’t feel so unimportant anymore.
“Fuck.” Bakugou breathed as you leaned closer to examine his face.
Your forehead creased in worry and you raised a hand to his head to check his temperature to make sure he wasn’t running a fever. “Are you feeling alright?”
Squeaking when he suddenly grabbed your hand, you gasped in shock when he tugged you towards him. 
You crashed into his chest and your cheeks flushed hotly as his chiseled form honed from years of training molded against your front. 
His arm wrapped around your shoulders and it took a second to realize that his metal arm was planted firmly on the ground, keeping the two of you steady. 
But when you reached out your fingers to brush against it, he ripped away from you.
You pulled back immediately, apology weighing in your gaze as your eyes flicked away from him. “I’m sorry, I—”
“It’s fucking hideous.”
You balked at his tenor. “W-What?!”
Bakugou looked away from you, his gaze fixed on the ground behind you as he rested his chin on top of your head, stubbornly refusing to look you in the eye as you breathed steadily against the base of his neck.
You were warm. Delicate.
Precious.
He didn’t expect someone like you to understand.
His vermilion eyes were shadowed by the ghosts of his past that continued to haunt him and he sighed heavily, curling his arm around you tighter. He didn’t want to let you go just let but he didn’t know why you weren’t pushing him away. 
Your soft voice rang out. “Katsuki, what do you mean? It’s not hideous at all.”
He clicked his tongue but otherwise didn’t verbalize his disagreement. 
“How could someone like you possibly understand this shit?” He spat but you didn’t recoil like he was half hoping you would.
At least then he would have an excuse to leave, under the guise that he had upset you. But you didn’t do any of that. 
Too fucking precious. Always saw the good in everything just like that shitty nerd. 
You closed your eyes in defeat. “No… I suppose I can’t.”
You didn’t quite understand him. 
The bite in his tone sounded like you had hit too close to home, and yet, his thumb was absentmindedly running over the satin of your dress that he had bought you, your side heating up under his chest and warmth bloomed from your heart.
And yet, he wasn’t pushing you away.
Leaning down, you rested your forehead against his shoulder, your heart beating too loud for your own ears. “You don’t have to say anything, but I know what it feels like to be an outcast too.”
Bakugou eyed you cautiously, wondering if this was some sort of trick because he was drunk and definitely not as attentive as normally but your tone was open.
Honest. 
“Yeah, maybe you do.” He scoffed, scorning you under his breath. “Maybe you don’t. It doesn’t fucking matter to me.”
“Maybe it doesn’t.” You whispered, tracing patterns on his chest as your head lolled to the side to gaze at him with complete vulnerability. “But just know that you aren’t alone.”
Bakugou whipped his head around as you stared at him. Didn’t you get it already? He didn’t want to fucking taint you with all of this shit that went on down here.
He didn’t want to tell you that he had to settle tinkering with whatever scrap metal he could find in the junkyard just to make his left arm operational again, didn’t want to tell you that the government had offered him a real replacement prosthetic but at the cost of becoming one of their combatants fighting in a war he never chose and as a result, he was casted to the side when something went wrong.
He had lost everything. 
The second he had been tossed out on the street, he had come crawling back to Kiko, a spunky little girl a part of the UA orphanage in the east, one of the ones that Mic funneled money towards to fund their food and supply them with fresh water every three days.
The girl, no more than ten at the time, with her dirty blonde pigtails sticking out on either side of her lopsided head, had been born with a unique appearance.
The officials called it a defect, as though they were talking about an object of mass production.
Fucking disgusting.
It never seemed to bother the girl though, and she often claimed that she was tougher than all those men in fancy suits. Bakugou liked her spirit already.
Kiko had had this habit of tracing her stubby little fingers all over the scars from his fights whenever he came to visit and it had been her idea to forgo a realistic prosthetic from the corporation that was looking to hire him and just go out, full badass, just like Bucky in the Winter Soldier.
It was her favorite movie but Bakugou claimed he had absolutely no idea where she learned that kind of language from. 
He had chuckled and patted her on the head at the time, swearing to hell and back that there was no fucking way he was going to build a metal arm. He would scare the kids if he did that, not to mention, full-grown adults.
But Kiko simply bounded over to him and beamed up at him like nothing was wrong in the world. It was fucking contagious, begging for him to at least consider it, selling the point of how cool it would look.
“You would be a superhero, Bakugou!!” She cheered, raising her hands up high, demanding for him to lift her up even though she wasn’t five anymore. “And you could save everybody, just like you want to!!”
He never got a chance to show her the finished product. Would she have liked it? Would she run around, screaming in his shitty apartment as she played with it when he detached it for cleaning? Would she try to hit him over the head with it when she thought he wasn’t looking like the cheeky brat he knew that she was?
Bakugou could hear her squeals of excitement so vividly some nights that he woke up from his terror of that night, soaked in cold sweat from a memory of the girl he had failed to save.
Defeated and overwhelmed by his circumstances after being rejected by the very people who sought him out because of his talent, he had ventured to the orphanage that night and on a whim, demanded her to live with him. He would take care of her, protect her, teach her things that she couldn’t learn from anyone else.
The widest smile he had ever seen stretched across Kiko’s face and she accepted his demands with eyes tearing up with joy. 
He vowed to protect her. 
He failed. 
He had an unsettled score with the government officials he had upset on his way out from the lab that day they told him he had been scraped from the program. 
The enraged fighter went on a rampage, tearing down anything in his path and clearing out the experiment rooms, offering freedom and a second chance to anyone willing and brave enough to take it. 
And as a result, many took him up on his offer and fled that place with white walls and food too bland to actually be considered nutritious.
There was no doubt about it. He pissed them off the day he saved the others.  
They had come for her and taken her last year on his birthday as revenge for freeing those they were experimenting on. He found a crumpled, poorly wrapped, newspaper covered package lost in the clutter of his apartment when he got home.
The creaking old door that kept out winter drafts had caved in, signifying that it had broken in with considerable force, and Kiko was gone.
That crushed gift hidden under the stairwell was the only thing that remained of her.
Inside, there was a small metal pin in the shape of an explosion. For his personality. Corny, but the little girl was simple-minded and liked the sentiment she found in things that she repurposed. 
Bakugou always thought it was fucking weird but he hadn’t taken it off ever since that day. 
The metal plates of his arm glided, clinking together softly as the polished steel lifted to trace your jaw, the pin visible on the inside of his wrist.
To keep her close to him always.
He had stormed their stronghold but by the time he got there, they were gone. Everything.
Every vial, all the equipment, every single one of the samples and officials had disappeared into thin air. 
Bakugou had tried everything to track Kiko down, paying off the highest crime organizations to get more eyes out on the street but nothing worked. She was gone.
And she wasn’t ever going to come back.
You were silent when he finished telling you his depressing life story, sure you were bored to death but when he started to get up, he found that he couldn’t get very far with you draped over his body like this.
Bakugou had a fleeting thought that you had fallen asleep while he had been lamenting and rehashing every depressing detail from his past but he noticed the stuttering rise and fall of your back.
Well, at least you weren’t asleep, but now he didn’t know how to feel when he had told you all of that and you had yet to say anything.
“I know you don’t want pity.” You whispered into his shoulder.
He raised an eyebrow but waited for you to continue.
“I know there’s nothing that I can say that would make the pain go away or bring Kiko back,” You said softly. “But I’m here for you.”
Bakugou pressed his cheek against your hair and inhaled your sweet scent, closing his eyes as an unseen weight lifted from off of his shoulders. 
“Thank you.” He murmured quietly with great difficulty. 
You smiled slightly, glad that you were able to provide him with a little bit of comfort. “Anytime.”
The two of you stayed entwined for a few more moments, time stretching as he held onto you, soaking up your soothing presence while you relaxed against his hold.
“Katsuki?” You called quietly when he still didn’t let go after five more minutes.
Tightening his arm around you, he frowned when you struggled in his grip. 
“Stop fucking moving.” He demanded and you ceased fighting in favor of pulling back to flick him on the forehead. “Oi, did you just fucking flick me?!”
“Yes.” You replied bluntly, snickering when he rolled his eyes. 
There he was.
Bakugou protested hotly when you pushed down his arms to untangle from him but you shushed him with a giggle, leaning back to open the box of beer by your bed, grabbing two bottles and fishing for something from underneath your pillow
In the underground city where liquor was the only thing that was plentiful, you would take what you could get. 
Bakugou caught the beer that you threw at him in midair with an expression a mix between annoyance that you tossed it at his face and gratitude that you knew how he needed another drink after that tale. 
“What the fuck is that for?” He scoffed, pointing to the roll of gauze in your hand. “You get a papercut or some shit?”
You rolled your eyes in disbelief, failing to notice how his eyes raked over you to look for any kind of injury you might be hiding from him, and held it up to him. “No, but it looks like you did.”
He almost spilled his beer that he just popped the lid off of, mouth furrowing in a deep-seated frown when he followed your gaze and landed on the cuts on his knuckles from the fight that happened earlier that night.
“Fuck.” He cursed, setting down the beer hard to wipe up the blood.
He hadn’t even known when he got hurt. 
But he didn’t even get started on tending to it when your gentle hands wrapped around his and you took over for him. 
“Here.” You murmured, pouring some water onto a clean cloth and dabbing carefully at his cuts. “Let me.”
“You’re fucking weird.” Bakugou grumbled but allowed you to take over. 
Your touch was so much lighter than the rough pads of his fingers. He was always too impatient whenever he had to patch himself up, jerking at the bandages to get them to lay flat when they wouldn’t cooperate.
It was a fucking pain to stop the bleeding when his shitty fingers fumbled with it. It was a trip to hell and back every single time he had to attend to wounds he got from boxing.
Your nose scrunched up in concentration as you finished cleaning the area before securely wrapping the soft cotton around his knuckles.
“There.” You declared in satisfaction, sitting back on your knees.
Admiring your handiwork with an unreadable expression, it was a second before Bakugou nodded begrudgingly with thanks.
“It’s not complete shit.” 
You giggled. “Thanks.”
He picked back up his drink and took a swig.
Offering up yours, you hid your surprise when he actually recognized the gesture and clinked his glass against yours.
The distinct hum from the music in the establishment below filtered up to the roof, filling the silence and the occasional echo of steel grating against each other. The low lights were pleasant and the ambiance was soothing as you two drank away the night.
You shivered, catching a chill as the night air blew by, but before you could reach for your blanket, Bakugou was tucking you in his side. 
“Get over here, dumbass.” He mumbled, turning his face away so that you wouldn’t see his blush. “You’re gonna get fucking sick.”
You noticed how he still kept your metal arm away from you. That wound was still too fresh and somehow you had a feeling that no matter how much time would pass, things would never quite be the same again.
Playing with the hem of your dress, you smiled softly. “But I wanted to wear it today, it was a special occasion.”
Special occasion his ass. It was fucking freezing out here and all you were wearing was that summer dress. His brow knitted as you puffed out your cheeks, breath visible, and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to leave you out here when it was so cold out.
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou apologized quietly as you lost interest in toying with the pale blue satin and folded your hands neatly in your lap.
At your questioning gaze, he suppressed the urge to roll his eyes but heat crept up his neck.
“For storming out on the celebration you planned, dumbass.” He grumbled, flicking you on the forehead in a similar fashion hat you had done earlier.
Whining, you held onto your forehead as you made an exaggeration of pain. He rolled his eyes at your antics and you giggled, snuggling further into his side.
“You’re warm.” You mused.
Bakugou scowled, cheeks still pink from the embarrassment tingling through his whole body. “Oi, are you fucking ignoring m—”
“Of course not.” You retorted, pinching his side in retaliation for the flick he gave you before your voice dropped a little. “It’s just— There isn’t anything you need to apologize for. I understand.”
Those words, they were so simple and yet, warmth bloomed in his chest from how they fell from your lips. 
And he could see that you were truly genuine.
He had rejected your kindness earlier when Kirishima had told him you had planned out all of this for him. He had never quite been accustomed to generously that lacked a price or some kind of condition.
Then again, he had never met someone quite like you. 
As you rested against his shoulder, Bakugou took the empty beer bottle from you and placed it on the other side of him so that you didn’t break it and cut yourself when you woke up from your little nap.
He gazed out into the city that had caused him so much misery and wondered how it was even possible for someone like you to exist.
Birthdays, he still hated them, but maybe, just maybe, he could start to heal.
It would start by telling that old man that you fucking needed a new place to sleep that wasn’t the goddamn roof.
It was a good thing he knew just the place you could go.
Brushing back the hair out of your eyes, he allowed a small smile to form on his face as you breathed softly, evenly and he smirked against the top of your head as a thought crossed his mind. And even though he knew you couldn’t hear him, he still murmured quietly.
“How do you feel about seagulls and sand, princess?”
268 notes · View notes
bruhstories · 4 years ago
Text
switch
summary: you and yuji have been together for three years now, but on your anniversary night, you allow your own demons to come to the surface. pairing: ryomen sukuna x female!reader (itadori yuji x female!reader, too, i guess?) | aged up characters word count: 3.5k warning & content: cheating?? (is it cheating if it's technically the same body?), unprotected sex, creampie, slight dacryphillia, vaginal fingering, blackmail, reader is kind of an asshole? (can you blame her tho, sukuna is such a daddy ugh), bit of overstimulation, slight dumbification (if you squint)
a/n: i'm back, and i can tell my writing skill is getting rusty. i took a break and it's obvious with this fic, but i need to get my head back in the game. it is what it is.
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Yuji was a great boyfriend. In all honesty, he was every woman and man's dream — funny, charming, attentive and, most importantly, caring. He cared about you so much that he always made sure to control his own personal demon. You knew about Sukuna, Yuji told you after a few dates, and you were well versed in Jujutsu Sorcery, enough to know that he was not someone you could mess with. But you didn't want to give up on Yuji, and stuck with him through thick and thin. After almost three years of the beautiful and fun relationship you two had, he asked you to move in with him since you were both adults now, and you gladly accepted, because after so much time, you came to love him, despite seeing Sukuna's outbursts during fights. That thing, that monster, was beyond terrifying, but you trusted Yuji with all your heart, and that was all that mattered.
Or maybe you were unhinged, maybe you wanted Sukuna to come to the surface. Maybe, deep down in your heart, you fell in love with the switch, with the raging, brutal frenzies that you happened to witness on the rare occasions when Yuji couldn’t control the King of Curses. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer, because, as opposed to your optimistic and good-natured boyfriend, you never hesitate to kill – human or curse. Sometimes it felt as if your curiosity surpassed your love for Yuji, and that was a horrendous thought. Surely, that can’t be the real you, right?
Today is your three-year anniversary, and naturally, you want to surprise your boyfriend, so when you come home from a mission, you stop by his favourite ramen restaurant, picking up something to eat, maybe even some dessert. You tiptoe inside when you notice Yuji napping on the couch, and after silently setting up the table, careful not to wake him up, you quickly change into something... nicer. Yuji doesn't really enjoy it when you show some skin, which sucks because you want him to show you off. Nevertheless, you respect him, but tonight is special, surely it wouldn't hurt if you wear a shorter skirt. And a low-cut blouse. And heels. Fuck it, you think, adding a pair of thigh high socks as well, maybe that would rile him up. As much as you loved him, Yuji was too gentle. You liked that about him, truly, but sometimes you just need him to give you a good fuck, which was impossible, no matter how much you begged him to do it. You watch your reflection in the mirror from head to toe, proud of your skimpy outfit, but you can't help but wonder if he might be upset at your choice of attire. Even if he prefers it when you're dressed in pastels, that's not you, the real you. "You look good enough to eat." Yuji's voice breaks your trance and you turn on your heels to look at him. He stands in the doorway of the bedroom, arms folded across his chest, but there's a strange aura around him, and you can't exactly see his face through the dim lights. "You like it?" Your ears perk up, happy that he's not bothered by the clothes. "I do. You should dress like that more often." He sneers, stepping closer to you. "Alright, what kind of prank are you pulling now, Yuji? You never liked these kinds of clothes." You lower your head, your luscious lips turning into a pout. His calloused fingertips grip your chin, turning your head to face the mirror, and that's when you see the black markings on his face. Fear paralyses your entire body, eyes widening in panic and anxiety. "He might not like them, but I do." His voice is lower than Yuji's, calm yet obscenely dangerous. "I- you-" The words get caught in your throat, and you can't take your eyes off of his reflection. You know for a fact there's absolutely nothing you can do to defend yourself from Sukuna without hurting Yuji, and that thought makes you feel incredibly small and downright pathetic. "Little lamb, do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to watch this ungrateful brat take you for granted?" His hand is still leaving imprints on your chin and cheek, the other travelling down your back. "To watch you lose yourself for him, of all people?" "You don't know me!" Lips open without a thought, and you regret every syllable that came out of your mouth. "Oh, but I do." Yuji, no, Sukuna sneers, that same hand that was once on your back is now on your abdomen, painstakingly slowly creeping under your blouse. "Everything he sees, I see. Everything he smells, I smell. What he hears, I hear. But I just couldn't touch what's mine. Until now." You feel him pinching your nipple, and you're ashamed to admit how good his skin feels against yours, his hot breath fanning over your nape. "'M not yours." You grit your teeth, manicured fingernails digging into the plush of your thighs to keep your composure. "There's one thing I can smell that he can't. Wanna know what that is, sweet dove?" He whispers in your ear, and it's dotting your skin with goosebumps. "Enlighten me." "Your arousal." "You're bluffing." Is all you manage to say before Sukuna spins you around, pinning you against the mirror. "Let's see, shall we? I bet you're dripping," he shoves one of your legs to the side with his knee, and you don't stop him, "I bet you you've fantasised about this, late at night, when this brat can't please you. He's well endowed, though, it's a shame he can't use his dick." "S-stop it, please. I love him." "Pardon me if I doubt that." "Please, sir..." Sir? How should you call him? Demon? Cursed spirit? Monster? "How about master?" Sukuna barks back, as if reading your mind sarcasm dripping
down his tongue. You can't stifle a moan when his teeth sink in the crook of your neck, and you know damn well that you want this, and that every word he uttered so far was correct. You have thought about Yuji switching with Sukuna, wondered how he would fuck you, make you chant his name, but you never told your boyfriend, you couldn't. It's sinful, disgraceful and disgusting. Instinctively, you grind up his thigh, tears of shame and lust pooling at your eyes when you slowly give in to the temptation. He's already bruised your skin, one hand toying with your tits, the other lifting your skirt up. It's too late to fight him, because you never wanted to fight him in the first place. You deepest, darkest wish is finally coming to life. "That's better." Sukuna licks his lips, and your half-lidded, glossy eyes land on his tongue. "Please, m-may I kiss you?" Eyes dart away, cheeks burning with desire and embarrassment. "How polite of you to ask." He coos at you mockingly, his face inching closer to yours before absolutely crushing your lips under his. You don't hesitate to partly open your mouth, allowing his tongue to slip between your lips. Fuck, he kisses you so good that your knees give in, and all you can think is that if he's such a good kisser, he's definitely going to fuck you dumb. And you want that more than anything. When he pulls away, you lick your lips, still tasting him on your tongue, and he tastes so much better than Yuji — sweet and addictive. "I really wanted to take my time with you, after all, I waited three long years for this. But you're such an eager little slut, aren't you?" "I'm n-not a slut-" You try to protest, but you can't fool him, especially not when he's pushing your panties to the side, fingers grazing over your slit. "You are a slut. You merely buried that side of you for a pathetic little boy who can't handle a real woman." Sukuna's index finger gently brushes against your clit, enough to have you weak and needy. "Don't worry, Y/N, you don't have to hide from me. You can show me what you really want." It hurts to know that Yuji probably sees and hears everything, that he will probably break up with you after this, but you're too far gone to care about his feelings when finally someone is paying attention to yours. Your hand travels up his thigh, palming his already hard cock, and the way he groans, throwing his head back is satisfying enough for you. It hurts to think that Yuji never appreciates this side of you, and it's more painful when you consider this to be cheating — it's still his body, technically, but it's not your loving boyfriend, and you're perfectly fine with that. He slips a finger between your folds, a quiet moan escaping your lips, and Sukuna knows you won't dare say no to him, or try to reason with him. He adds another finger, but he absolutely does not move them an inch, instead you automatically fuck yourself on his hand, gripping one of his shoulders for support. "That's a good whore." Sukuna praises you, tongue lapping at your collarbone, making you delirious with lust. "You want my cock? Want me to fuck your aching cunt?" It's impossible to refuse his proposition, instead you buck your hips, your fingers gripping his t-shirt and you know you might tear it if you keep this up. "Yes..." You answer him, voice soft and quiet. "Yes what?" "P-please... Yes, please!" "Much better. Get on the bed." Sukuna commands and you obey, skirt dangerously hiked up. You proceed to take it off, but he slaps your hands away, too impatient for such formalities. He did wait a long time for this, you understand that, and so you lay on your back, blouse unbuttoned, panties on the floor and legs wide open for him to take you. Oh, and he adores this sight, how you willingly give yourself to him, your dainty fingers spreading your juices around your cunt, eager to be filled. In those three years of being with Yuji, you got used to his cock, but seeing it now seems like it's the first time. Precum leaks from the blushing tip and your mouth begins to water just by looking at him, and
this pleases Sukuna greatly. "Tell me what you want." He climbs on top of you, hands resting next to you as your fingernails graze over his chest. "I don't wanna say it..." You avert your gaze, a crumb of dignity left in you because you know Yuji hears everything. "Oh, you don't?" He quirks a brow, brown irises bearing a hint of red. "Then you won't mind me killing the brat." This garners your attention, and you feel stupid because of course he would blackmail you. Do you care? No. Do you want Yuji to think you care? Yes. "Please don't hurt him." You look back at Sukuna, tears pricking your eyes. "Why shouldn't I? We both know he doesn't deserve you." "You're wrong, I love-" "This isn't about you loving him, it's about you renouncing your true nature." His hand finds its way on your neck, fingers wrapping around it. "How many times have you begged him to choke you and he refused? How many times did you ask him to fuck you harder and he said no? You're a filthy slut, Y/N, and it's time you got what you deserve." The lack of air has your pussy clenching around nothing, and you hate him so much for being right. Yuji could never give you what you want, but Sukuna can, and it's an opportunity you can't pass. "Now, I'll say this one last time — tell me what you want." He releases the grip on your neck. "Y-you! I want you to fuck me, please, fuck me good, make me yours!" The tears that roll down your cheeks ruin your makeup, mascara mixed with eyeshadow smeared under your eyes. The tip of his cock pushes past your folds, and inch by inch he bottoms out. It feels bigger than before, stretching you open in a beautiful blend of pain and pleasure, your lips forming an O as your eyes roll back. "He doesn't deserve your tears. But I do. Cry for me." Sukuna sneers, his broad frame hovering above you and you feel so small and vulnerable. Yet again you obey, allowing more salty droplets to run down your face as you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling him go deeper. "Fuck, 's big! Oh, god-" Sukuna's palm meets your cheek, a sharp, stinging pain bringing your eyes on him. "Focus, whore. Not god, not the brat, me." He grunts, hips rocking back and forth harder and faster. "Who do you belong to?" You don't want to say it, what would Yuji think of you? He's probably already disgusted, contemplating breaking up with you once he regains control of his body. Another slap pulls you out of your thoughts and you buck your hips against his. "Answer me." "I b-belong to you! You!" "That's right, you're mine. Don't worry your pretty head, little lamb, Yuji won't be coming back any time soon." He grunts with every thrust, and his reassurance is somewhat comforting, because, god, he fucks you so good, you would kill for another opportunity like this. His teeth sink into your shoulder, fingers bruising your skin and you're delighted that he's marking you. All that matters is that you're his, chanting his name over and over again, praying to your new god, and Sukuna is beyond pleased with his work of art. When he pulls out of you, you almost cry, because it feels like a part of you is missing, but he's a merciful god, he won't let his newly devoted subject famished. Flipping you over as if you're made of feathers, he thrusts back into your aching cunt, and you yelp at the feeling of being overpowered by him. Sukuna's stamina is off the charts, because while your legs begin to feel numb, he's fucking into you with such force and intensity that the damn bed slides on the floor. It's raw, the way he's defiling your cunt, and it's sending your brain into overdrive. Your spongy walls clench around his cock, and while he doesn't say anything, the simple fact that he's going deeper and harder makes you feel special. Squirming and thrashing under him, you're desperate for some form of validation, and so you lift your ass up, pushing it back against his hips with a delightful moan escaping your lips. Sukuna takes notice of your sudden change of posture, and the way you curve your spine to try and get a look at him is adorable. "You want something,
pet?" He barely spares you a glance, and his indifference makes your pussy flutter. Your incoherent sentence almost makes him laugh, words such as good and please distinguishable between the other stutters. "Use your fucking words." A slap over your firm ass makes you yelp and jolt up. "A-am I good enough f-for you?" The question takes him by surprise, but he doesn't stop to think. Instead, he digs his sharp talons into the plush of your hips, overjoyed by your eagerness to please him. "You could do better." Sukuna teases you, but you take it personally, sadness and determination coiling inside of your heart. By this point, you don't even remember your boyfriend's name, too high on pleasure to even care. "'M sorry! P-please, I wanna be good!" You throw your head back and he wraps an arm around your neck, pressing his chest against your back. "If you wanna make me happy, you best forget about Itadori." "W-who?" "Your– never mind." Sharp canines flashed in his smirk, Sukuna tilts your head enough for you to catch a glimpse of his eyes. They're dark and vicious, and any sane person would be repulsed by them, but not you. No, you drown in them, completely absorbed by the hatred hiding behind them. The more you stare into his orbs, the closer you are to your climax. And he knows it. "Fuck fuck fuck!" "That's right, little lamb, let go of all that is moral and human." "Don't stop- oh, god, please don't s-stop!" In your frenzy, in his frantic pace, Sukuna's close, too. It would have taken any other woman hours to please him due to his insatiable nature, but you — your cunt clenching around his cock for dear life milks him dry, and inch by inch he pulls out, watching the hot liquid dripping down your trembling thighs. Art, he thinks, this is what art is — your face buried in the pillows, ass up, and his seed spilling out of your sore cunt. You come down from your haze, slowly but surely, and the realisation of what just happened begins to hit you. You want to regret everything, to feel a shred of shame, but there isn't any left. After this night, Sukuna irrevocably owns you, and you wouldn't have it any other way. He lays on the bed, lazily watching you stumble in the bathroom to clean yourself up, but with his guard up in case you want to try anything stupid. Yet when you don't come back, Sukuna wonders if you ran away out the window, which makes him laugh to himself because he could find you anywhere if he wanted to. So, he drags his feet across the room, finding you on the edge of the bathtub, watching the water pool inside with a blank stare. When you feel his presence, you get up and tug at the hem of his shirt. The man flinches, until he remembers that you are harmless and exhausted, and you don't look like you even want to put up a fight, so he allows you to take his shirt off. "Is this for me?" He points at the tub, brow quirked and a mischievous smile on his lips. "Yes." "Are you gonna clean me up?" "Yes." You sigh, wondering if you truly ever loved Yuji, wondering why you didn't even try to fight for him. "Do you want your boyfriend back?" Oh, how you dreaded this question. You cringe at the words, and don't reply. Silence is also an answer, but he's cruel. "I need to hear it." "He will also hear it." Of course he will, that's the whole point of humiliation. Sukuna steps in the tub, dipping himself in the hot water, a hand extended towards you. "Join me." You hesitate to take his hand, lips pursed and eyes narrowed at the man who looks so serene that it amazes you how brutal he was before. "I won't ask again." Complying, and not wanting to anger him, you don't waste another moment to get in the tub, back against his chest. "Can I ask you a question?" "You just did, sweet dove." "Fine, I’ll shut up." "Now, now, don't give me that attitude, or else I'll have to put you in your place. And you won't like it." His nails are pressed onto your jugular, and you know those things can cut, your hips are still bleeding. "Ask away." He lets his hands fall on your shoulders and you exhale the breath that was caught in your
throat. "Why didn't you kill me? Why don't you kill me?" "I need a pet." "Oh." Your disappointment makes Sukuna burst into laughter. What did you expect? A confession of love? "Oh?" He mocks you, tracing circles on your skin with his talons. "Don't worry, I take good care of my pets. Especially if they're loyal and obedient." His hands travel down your body, one pulling your knee to the side, the other moving up your thigh. "You are loyal and obedient, yes?" "Please, no more-" The rest of the sentence dies before you can utter it when his fingers ghost over your swollen clit. "Answer me, Y/N." "I can't come again!" "You can, and you will, because I want you to. Now answer the fucking question." Sukuna toys with you, only pushing his index finger one knuckle deep between your folds before pulling it out, and somehow you can't feel the sharpness of his nails. "Will you serve and obey me, not once questioning my authority?" He pushes the finger back in, curling it upwards and you don't fail to clench your walls once more. "Oh, f-fuck, I will, I will! But please, I can't–" When he rubs your clit, you are done for. You didn't think you could reach another climax, but those circles he's rubbing with enough pressure to both give you pleasure and pain have you melting in his arms. "Swear it, then. Make a pact with me. I can give you anything in return, maybe even the brat." "I s-swear it, S-Sukuna! I swear my loyalty to you!" You hiss between your gritted teeth, hips rolling in synchronicity with his hand. "And in return, what do you want?" "I want you! Oh, god, I only want you!" "Clever girl." The man decides to give you what you want, and with a quickened pace, you squeeze your thighs together, coming undone on his fingers. "I'm going to enjoy your company." Embracing your true nature is your salvation, and damnation. Your boyfriend is never coming back, Sukuna simply won't allow it, and from this moment on, your memories of Yuji begin to fade away, like a bad dream, because you simply must serve your beloved master, your merciful and devastatingly powerful god. That's who you really are.
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harrywritingsbyme · 4 years ago
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The Best Christmas
Based Off Of These Asks since there are so many...I had to make a whole tag for them. 
A/N: I hope everyone had a great day!! Here is my little gift to you guys...some fluffy Christmas smut!! The smut is there and filthy, but I couldn't not give y'all some of the fluffy feels...I just couldn't help myself, so I hope it doesn't suck lol. Also, I’m adding this to A Series of Firsts...Enjoy🙃❤️
Even though this Christmas was a bit bittersweet since neither you nor Harry could spend the holiday with your families, it still managed to make its way to the top of you and Harry’s “Best Christmases” lists. Why? Because it was the very first Christmas you and Harry spent together since the beginning of your relationship. Sure the milestone came about by means of a global pandemic and yes the both of you wished that you could be with your families. But you and Harry were very willing and able to put all of that aside and focus on the positive that is your first Christmas together. Now since you two were living together for the past year (or however long this pandemic has been raging on), and it was your first Christmas, you and Harry made sure to pull out all the stops when it came to decorations and holiday activities. Well it was more so you than Harry on the excitement, but you were more than willing to include him.
Harry had a little bit of an extended break from filming, so once production wrapped for the remaining part of the year, the holidays officially began for you two and it started at the tree farm where you and Harry picked out the best tree you could find for your home. It took a little bit of bickering, a couple pouts here and there, along with some kisses, but the two of you were able to find and agree on the perfect tree. Along with said tree, you also bought tons of decorations for the house. And by tons, you meant tons. There were enough decorations to not only decorate your house, but yours along with someone else’s. While Harry called it crazy and overboard, you called it being festive and in the holiday spirit. And that’s all you really cared about along with essentially making the house a Christmas wonderland because you knew that no matter how much he teased you for it, Harry loved and thought that it was cute, overboard and all.
In the few days leading up to the 25th, you and Harry spent your time binge watching just about every Christmas movie on the planet, dancing around the house to your favorite Christmas music, and baking until you both were in sugar induced comas. Along with taking part in the happy festivities of the season, you and Harry also spent time talking to your families and trying your best at making up for the lack of your physical presence. And while you two were incredibly happy to be having your first Christmas together, it still stung to be away from your families for the first time, especially under these circumstances. But despite this bump in the road, you and Harry remembered the one thing that always got you both through any situation that wasn’t what you’d hoped. You two remembered that you had each other. And that with each other, you were going to have the best Christmas. 
And when the day arrived, it really was the best. 
For starters, you and Harry had the best morning sex ever. Aside from enjoying the seasons festivities together, you and Harry were also enjoying the continued stream of sex. It was absolute bliss to wake up on Christmas morning, nestled deep into the warm covers and tangled up with your lover. Add a round of slow, passionate, soft, and absolutely lazy morning sex into the mix and you were in heaven. And that was the perfect description of you and Harry’s morning. The both of you lazily moved with and against each other as you moaned into each others mouths and brung each other to your releases. It was absolutely amazing and the perfect way to start your day together.
“Merry Christmas baby” You hum softly, bringing your mouth to his for another kiss.
“Merry Christmas bub” He hums back to you with a sleepy smile spread across his face, closing the gap between your mouths. It was only supposed to be one kiss. But given the fact that it was you and Harry, on top of the fact that it was a milestone in your relationship, that kiss quickly escalated to another round of lazy morning sex which unsurprisingly topped the first round. The both of you were already incredibly sensitive from the first time so when you two went at it again, you and Harry exploded around each other.
After regaining the feeling in your lower halves, you and Harry begrudgingly pull yourselves from the warm and toasty bed, throwing the clothes that were strewn about from the night before back on and heading downstairs to call your families and then exchange the gifts you’d gotten for each other. Since it was a bit late in the morning in Los Angeles and there was a sizable time difference between there and London, when the two of you made your calls, the evening had already rolled around back home. But that didn’t stop either of you from gluing yourselves to your computer screens. It was just so nice to talk to your friends and family back home and have that connection even though you were so many miles apart. After talking and catching up with everyone, you and Harry said your goodbyes along with promises of talking more the next day before hanging up completely, leaving you both alone to get your first Christmas together going. To start things off, the two of you moved on to your gift exchange, which was filled with many pleasant surprises. You’d been giving each other gifts for a good while now and none of them topped the ones you’d gotten for each other this year. All of them were absolutely amazing and incredibly thoughtful, and the both of you prided yourselves on giving thoughtful gifts. While Harry gave you all of the gifts he’d gotten for you, you gave all of yours but one. It was special and you were saving it for later on.
But until then, you and Harry decided to have a Christmas themed spa day. After making breakfast, the two of you did everything from taking a warm bubble bath that had a strong and welcomed scent of sweet candy cane, to giving each other facials. The two of you even gave each other Christmas themed nails and had a little competition on who gave the best ones. And in the midst of all of this, the two of you were happily drinking the wine you loved so much while watching your all time favorite Christmas movies (rewatching them because they were just that good), randomly stopping every once in a while for a spontaneous round of sex. It wouldn’t be a Harry and Y/n Christmas if there was no random sex. You just couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. It’d either start off with a kiss that sucked you and Harry down the rabbit hole of pleasure beyond compare or it’d be a simple proposition that neither of you could deny. Either way, the sex was absolutely amazing every single time. 
As the day lingered on, the pampering came to a nice end, (Harry won the nails competition and the both of you had the softest skin in the world), the Christmas movies had ended, and there was only a little less than half a bottle of wine left from the two bottles. The evening was finally coming around for you and Harry and it was getting closer and closer to the end when you would give him his final gift of the day. After taking a little nap to curb the headache that was forming for you both from all the wine, you and Harry made yourselves Christmas dinner for two and completely devoured it before going back upstairs to get ready for bed. The two of you were already on the same page for this process because once you hit the top of the steps you and Harry went right into getting another bubble bath ready. You chose a different scent from the last time, still in the Christmas realm, and you relit the candles that were burning a bit earlier. Once the bathroom is transformed into an aromatic oasis, you and Harry remove all of your clothing and sink down into the warm water and bubbles. 
“Today was a good day.” Harry sighs behind you, breaking the silence and wrapping his arms around your middle, pulling you tighter against him.
“It was.” You reply happily. “First Christmas together, success.” You continue on. 
“It was amazing.” He reminisces, bringing his head down to press a kiss to your temple. “Can’t wait to spend so many more with you baby.” He whispers happily. 
“Me neither.” You reply excitedly, pulling yourself out from his grip and slowly turning around to straddle his lap. “But nothing will beat our first.” You continue, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing your fingers to the hair on the back of his neck. 
“And this is just be beginning of all the first Christmases we’re gonna have lovie.” He says, causing your mind to immediately flicker to your future together and all of the firsts he was talking about.
“I can’t wait.” You whisper as you smile down at him, your voice filled with contentment and happiness from today and for the future. 
“I love you.” Harry says, wrapping is arms around your lower back. 
“I love you more.” You reply, bringing your mouth down to his for a sweet kiss. When your lips connect, sparks go off in your bodies. It was a very familiar feeling to you both but it was also a bit rare of a feeling too. Whenever you and Harry touched or kissed there was always a similar feeling to this one. But this feeling the two of you felt in this moment was ten times the normal feeling. Maybe it was the underlying conversation you two were having about your future together or something, you weren’t completely sure. What you do know is that you never wanted to depart from this feeling. You wanted to relish in it and never let it go. Luckily for you, being with Harry meant that you were going to be feeling this way many more times going forward. 
As the kiss continues on, you and Harry begin to softly move yourselves against each other, getting yourselves a little riled up. When you feel Harry’s cock beginning to harden beneath you, you pull your lips away from his a little. 
“I have another present for you.” You mumble against his lips. 
“What is it?” He questions, tightening his arms around you.
“If I told you right now it wouldn’t be a surprise. But if we get out of here I can give it to you.” You barter.
“Let’s get out of here then.” He agrees excitedly, loosening his arms from around you. The two of you then step out of the tub and right into the fluffy bathrobes your mom sent over for you and Harry. 
“Now you go in there and wait for me on the bed and I’ll be in shortly.” You explain.
“Don’t be too long.” He pouts down at you before pressing a wet kiss to your forehead and walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, leaving you alone to change. As soon as the door closes behind him, you go straight to the cabinet underneath the sink to reveal the box you’d hidden under there the day before. You quickly pull it out and you sit it on the counter before lifting the lid to reveal the lingerie you’d bought for the occasion. Since Harry loved seeing you in it and ripping it off of you, it was the perfect gift to give him. Especially the set you’d picked out. To stay in the Christmas spirit, you bought a sexy Santa lingerie set for him. Now there were many sets out there for you to choose from, but there was one that was just perfect and it was definitely something that Harry would love. There wasn’t much to it, only satin and a little white fur to really give it that Santa feel. It was ruby red and barely there with bows covering both of your nipples, and one covering your folds. There were small ties on the sides of your panties that could and would be snapped by Harry in an instant and there was a little fur lining at the top hem of the tiny panties and the top edges of the barely there cups of your bra. There was an underwire for a little support but the only fabric was the fur and the four sort of thick satin bands that formed the bow right at your nipples. It was absolutely perfect and you thought you looked amazing in it.You do a final once over in the mirror, adjusting the lingerie on your body and pulling the Santa hat onto your head. Once you’re completely done, you take a deep breath and you open the door to enter the bedroom. 
When you walk in, you see Harry sitting at the edge of the bed waiting for you, he didn’t even bother to change out of the robe. When he sees you step out of the bathroom, his jaw drops right to the floor. Harry was so glad the lamp on the bedside table was turned on because he needed to see all of you right now. You looked absolutely phenomenal in the lingerie. The material wrapped around your body perfectly and it accentuated your features. And per usual, there was so much to take in and Harry was in sensory overload with it all. He was literally drooling at the sight of you. The lingerie wasn't the present, the present was you.
“Santa, baby, I just want daddy to fuck me so bad.” You say in an innocent tone as you get even closer to Harry. “That’s all I want for Christmas. I just want daddy to fuck me nice and hard and dirty.” You continue as you climb into his lap. When you do this, Harry stops breathing for a second. He was so overwhelmed from how hard he was now and from how good you looked and from what you said that he forgot how to breathe. “Can I have that Santa?” You pout, moving yourself around in his lap to tease him a little. When you do this, Harry snaps out of his trance and quickly lifts you both up from the edge before throwing you back down onto the middle of the bed. 
“You just can’t get enough huh?” He asks, swiftly undoing the robe and shrugging it from his shoulders before crawling on top of you. “Always wanting daddy t’fuck you.” He chuckles, taking in your appearance below him. “You should be glad that Santa and daddy are the same person doll.” He teases before pulling at the ties to undo them, tossing the garment behind him. He then grips onto your forearms, quickly pulling you up and reaching a hand behind you to undo the bra, tossing it in the same direction as the panties once it’s off your body, leaving you in just the Santa hat that was on your head. Instead of taking your naked body in before digging into you, Harry just digs in. He pushes your legs farther apart before leaning down between them to lick a wide stripe up your already sticky folds, spitting down onto you on his way back up. Harry then wraps a hand around his girthy shaft and gives himself a few tugs before moving to hover over you, resting his forehead right against yours. “I love it when my presents are fuckable.” He whispers as he lines himself up with your entrance and begins to push into you.
“Yes daddy! Your cock f-“ You moan loudly as your eyes roll back, as you immediately reach up to claw at his bicep as he sheathes his large member with your walls. Even after so many rounds on and off throughout the day, you never failed to be stunned at how good it felt for him to be inside you.
“M’gonna fuck you so good baby.” He grunts as he pushes the last bit of his cock up into you. “Gonna fuck you real good.” He breathes out to you. And without wasting any time, Harry begins to piston his hips into you, pushing himself into you as deep as possible. The both of you were moaning messes, enjoying the pleasure that came from Harry’s thrusts. Harry felt right at home from the way your warm walls were gripping onto his cock. No matter how many times he fucked into you, Harry would always consider your walls to be magical. You were always tight, warm, and wet for him; absolutely perfect. As he continued to slam into your cunt, you were falling apart. It felt so good to have him pounding into you like this. It was quick and it was dirty. Harry was continuously and deliciously slamming his cock up into you while you cried out and withered below him from the pleasure. You were getting exactly what you’d asked for. 
The room was filled with your combined moans and cries as Harry continued on slamming into you. The only other sound in the room was the wet sound of his cock moving in and out of your drenched pussy. When his hips begin to slow down and he starts to push and hold his cock inside of you, that was the signal that he was nearing his release. As he did this, you too were rapidly approaching your release. You could feel his cock digging into your sweet spot and you could also feel the curly hairs around his cock pushing back and forth against your tingling clit. 
“Need t’cum daddy!” You cry as you try and connect your mouth with his, beginning to become overwhelmed with your need to let go around him. 
“Cum with me sweetheart.” He slurs, feeling the warmth from his release beginning to flood his entire body. “I got you another present too doll.” He grunts as he delivers a final thrust between your legs, shoving his cock all the way up into the deepest part of your pussy, catapulting you both right over the edge and into your blissful releases. “It may arrive a bit late though” He chuckles though his labored breaths as he continues to flood your walls with his cum. And as he lets go, you let go as well, squirting all over him, getting not only his lower stomach wet but the sheets below you two wet as well.
Once the two of you are completely done, Harry slowly pulls out of you, triggering the thick stream of his cum to begin pouring out of you and onto the wet sheets below. He quickly reaches over to turn the light out and collapses right onto the bed next to you, making to throw an arm around your waist. 
“Maybe next Christmas we can work on your present.” You hum, feeling yourself beginning to doze off.
“That sounds like a plan.” Harry readily and happily agrees before shifting closer to and following after you and drifting off to sleep.
Even though your first Christmas together wasn’t under the best of circumstances, it was still one of the best. All you needed was each other. And once you had that, everything was bound to be perfect. 
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blu-joons · 4 years ago
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DATING STRAY KIDS A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Felix
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A ⇴ AFFECTION
Felix gets very shy whenever he’s affectionate with you. He’ll cling to you, especially when there’s no one else around. He’s incredibly cuddly and loves to be held by you, but when it comes to being around other people, he’ll tend to be much more reserved.
B ⇴ BEFORE DATING
You gravitated towards Felix as soon as you met him because he was quite shy. You were desperate to encourage him to come out of his shell and feel comfortable around you which also meant he warmed to you well. He found himself feeling very relaxed around you very quickly, in amongst big crowds, he liked to have you with him as a bit of a safety blanket.
C ⇴ CONFESSION
He was quite nervous to confess his feelings to you because he was terrified that you wouldn’t feel the same way. In the end he turned to Chan for a bit of advice, who had spotted from the moment the two of you met that there was an instant attraction there. With Chan’s advice he pulled you aside one night to tell you how he felt, you could tell he was nervous, but as soon as you admitted to him how you felt too, his nerves disappeared.
D ⇴ DATES
Prepare for a lot of dates revolving around food, I’d love to tell you Felix wouldn’t be the cliché boyfriend who cooked you brownies and cookies, but he most definitely would. If he’s not in the mood for cooking, he likes to head out and do something physical so he can show off to you. If he’s honest, he doesn’t mind where your dates are, sometimes just the two of you being at the dorm together is enough for him. Just being in your company is enough, he’s never going to expect too much of you or your dates.
E ⇴ EXPERIENCE
Dating had never been of any interest to Felix until he met you. Sure, he had female friends in Korea and Australia, but he never saw anything romantic with them. So much of his attention had been on trying to establish his career that he chose to just wait for love to find him. He never imagined that it would find him so young and so quickly, that was until he met you. He was keen to keep a lot of your relationship private, not just out of fear, but also because it was new to him, and he still had a lot to learn before anyone found out about you both.
F ⇴ FIGHTING
If there’s one person who will never fight with you, it’s Felix. He simply doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. Any hint of conflict will make him anxious; he’ll tend to cower away before anything can even remotely blow up. He always makes sure to treat you well, even if there are times when he’ll disagree with you, he’ll listen to your opinion and try to understand before politely telling you how he feels. There are very few times that Felix will even give you the chance to argue with him, he’s far too relaxed and nervous for you to get angry with.
G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY
You knew straight away how important his family were to him and how desperate they were for him to find someone to look after him so far away. What mattered most to Felix was that his sisters instantly took a liking to you, their seal of approval was so important to him, so to see them happy meant he was happy too.
H ⇴ HOME
At times he struggled to feel at home still in South Korea, and the dorm was his safe haven to escape from it all. He’d made it clear to you that he was in no rush to move out of the dorm, which you were more than happy to acknowledge, but eventually he knew that he was keen to find a place just for the two of you to call home.
I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”
He was so nervous the night he told you he loved you for the first time. Felix had always wanted to be the one to say it first, but he never anticipated it would make him as shy as it did. As soon as the words left his lips, he buried himself into the crook of your neck refusing to look at you. Your hand had to pull his face away from you so eventually you could meet his eyes and peck his lips.
J ⇴ JEALOUSY
Felix is very much aware he’s not the loudest person in the room, which means he tends to back away from situations. He’s not one to be very obvious about his jealousy, but you can tell when he slips away from a conversation or starts nervously playing with his hands that he’s feeling jealous. He’ll never confront a situation if he’s worried about it, but he knows you’re too attentive to let him feel jealous for too long. You’ll soon find him and reassure him in any situation that there’s nothing for him to worry about.
K ⇴ KIDS
The two of you were far too young to even entertain serious discussions about having a family, but that didn’t stop the two of you having plenty of late-night chats about the future, and that included children. You both soon realised you shared similar dreams of what your future would look like, which of course, excited you both. Whilst there was still a long way to go before you reached that stage in your life, it was still exciting to talk about.
L ⇴ LAUGHTER
Whenever Felix got nervous, he’d always laugh, he just couldn’t help himself. You loved to listen to the deep sounds of his laughter, as he too loved to make you love. There wasn’t much either of you could do that wouldn’t make the other laugh, you were naturally very giggly people which led to carnage whenever the two of you were together. He loved to hear your laughter, it was his favourite sound in the world, just like the dorm, whenever he was feeling on edge, your laughter would be the comfort he needed to feel like himself again.
M ⇴ MISSING
He’d gotten used to being away from his family for so long that the feeling of missing someone went away. That was until he met you again and all those feelings came flooding back. As with his jealousy, he tended to go very quiet when he was struggling without you, which Chan would pick up on first. He didn’t like to text you, so he tended to wait until the late night or early morning to just call you instead, sometimes it worked better for him, but other times he hated waiting for so long to speak to you. There never really felt like a right way to get over missing you, but he knew he had no choice but to get on with things.
N ⇴ NICKNAMES
He’ll tend to be very sweet with his nicknames, ‘sugar,’ or, ‘flower,’ are two of his favourites. For you, you’ll usually call him, ‘koala,’ or something related to home as you know how much it cheers him up to hear little reminders of Australia.
O ⇴ OBSESSION
He’s obsessed with your smile, just like fans are obsessed with his. He loves to compare beauty marks and dimples with you, not to mention the happiness that warms him whenever he knows that you’re happy.
P ⇴ PDA
His nickname of koala certainly comes to play in regard to PDA, he loves to cling to you and receive your affection. He doesn’t necessarily kiss you all the time, but sometimes a hug is the most important thing in the world to him. He’ll definitely be quieter when you’re in public however, so prepare for him to make up for that in private.
Q ⇴ QUESTIONS
The question Felix will ask of you the most if you’re alright. He’s very concerned with you and taking care of you; he’ll never talk about himself until he’s asked everything, he can about you.
R ⇴ RANDOM FACT
If you ever feeling down, Felix’s voice is the one thing he knows will cheer you up. He loves to do impressions and deepen his voice to bring a smile to your face, it’s something no one else knows that you do. You couldn’t help but be drawn to his voice when you first met him, and he knew that too, so he loved to play on it and make sure that he got whatever it was he wanted from you.
S ⇴ SEX
Nothing changes when it comes to intimate moments, Felix is still a shy and blushed mess. He’s not quite sure how you manage to have the effect on him that you do, but he makes sure to show you just how much you mean to him during moments like these. He’s very loving, attentive, the perfect gentleman as ever, taking great care of you.
T ⇴ TEXTS
If he needs you, Felix will tend to just call you, texts from him are rare. You know that he doesn’t need much if he texts, for even the smallest things he’ll usually still call you so that he can hear your voice and multitask.
U ⇴ UNIVERSE
There were many times when Felix knew he felt the weight of the world, only when he was with you did, he really felt at ease. You were the perfect distraction that he needed for when times got tough and life got busy.
V ⇴ VACATION
The chance for the two of you to go away with each other rarely came around, but whenever he had the time for a break, you desperately push for the two of you to head to Australia. You were incredibly keen for him to be able to visit his family whenever he got the chance, plus you knew it would score you a few brownie points with his family too.
W ⇴ WHINING
Felix doesn’t tend to whine too much, but if he really is desperate for your attention then he’ll let you know he wants it.
X ⇴ XXXXX
He’s much more of a cuddler than a kisser, so whenever he decides to kiss you, treat it like a very special occasion. He’ll usually kiss against your cheek and neck, the perfect places for him to reach when he’s cuddling you. Rest assured however, first thing in the morning and last thing at night he’ll always make sure to kiss you properly whilst reminding you that he loves you very much.
Y ⇴ YOU
You were his everything, the support that he always needed, even if he pretended not to.
Z ⇴ ZZZ
He’ll cling to you all night whilst the two of you sleep, he loves the physical connection of knowing someone is beside him. Not to mention the fact it always helps you to sleep too feeling his arms grip tightly around your frame.
---
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shihalyfie · 4 years ago
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A meta and analysis on Takaishi Takeru
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Of all of the Tokyo Chosen Children, Takeru is lucky enough to get significant attention for two full series from beginning to end, and his character also goes through some drastic changes in the process, especially through Adventure and 02. There’s so much going on with him that it makes it hard to give a short answer to the question “what is Takeru like?” because there’s so much you could say about him at so many different times.
Fortunately, that’s what we’re here to talk about today!
Takeru in Adventure
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At first glance, Takeru seems to be the “tagalong kid” -- the obligatory “little kid character” you have whenever you have a party in a fantasy story. Generally, these “obligatory kid characters” are the kind constantly struggling to catch up with the older ones. Adventure being a series that loves to play with tropes and expectations, though, very quickly says no to that.
Seki: ...We also mixed up the children’s ages, for a bit of variety. Kakudou: The oldest one would be the most unreliable, and the smartest one would be one of the third youngest. Just a little to throw you off the usual, conventional track. Seki: The youngest one would feel too much like a burden to everyone else, and conversely would actually have himself together.
Takeru “doesn’t want to be a burden” -- meaning his feelings on this issue are actually rather much like Hikari’s. Unlike Hikari, though, Takeru reacts to this compulsion differently -- instead of simply repressing things and pretending the problem doesn’t exist, Takeru’s reaction to his own negative feelings is to “have himself together” and act as if he’s got everything under control.
Or, more accurately, pretend he has it together and has everything under control.
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Takeru, for all intents and purposes, was not supposed to be on the camping trip the others were on, not having gone to everyone’s school -- he had to get special permission to go. Takeru’s family is very, very split harshly at this time, with his mother not even able to treat Yamato comfortably. Yamato deals with the familial estrangement badly -- alternating between approaching everyone awkwardly and exploding like an emotional fuse bomb -- but Takeru tries to take it as a sign  that he needs to be “responsible”. A lot of his actions in Adventure are him basically exuding this aura of “I can take care of myself!”, and in fact he works very hard to “assert” himself as if he were yet another peer. We even see him make the complaint directly in Adventure episode 43 -- while he is correct in calling out Yamato for coddling him and him only while recklessly disregarding the others, the fact he specifically complains about Yamato approaching him as someone holding them back if he’s not protected reveals a lot about his own mentality regarding the situation.
One of his first major scenes in episode 2 is him offering his own food for the pile of supplies everyone has, even though it’s just snacks. Which is, probably, a pretty accurate summary of Takeru’s character at this point: on the surface he’s responsible, well-behaved, and capable...but, in fact, he’s still about as immature as an average eight-year-old child would predictably be.
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Yamato spends his Adventure character arc pretty openly angsting about his relationship to Takeru and how his family’s split has affected them, but throughout the entirety of Adventure (and, eventually, 02 as well), not only does Takeru rarely if ever touch on it, there are indications that Takeru deliberately tries to dodge the subject or not dwell on it too much. In Adventure episode 12, he actually outright lies to Patamon about his younger childhood memories, claiming he “probably doesn’t remember” anything about it despite the audience very clearly being shown that he very much did, and in episode 26 he comes very close to leaking his actual feelings about the group being separated being tied to what happened to his family, before quickly covering it up and trying to move on with the topic.
In other words, unlike Hikari, who knows exactly what she’s feeling but is compulsively unable to vocalize them, Takeru actively suppresses his negative feelings and tries not to dwell on them too much. Again, this comes from his desire to “not be a burden” on others -- he’s got this situation under control! Everything is fine!
And this has a very, very nasty payoff. While Yamato clearly deals with his emotional issues badly, tending to get very explosive about it, Takeru’s way of coping isn’t actually all that much better in the long run, because Yamato’s frustration and openness about his emotions at least lead him to being very straightforward about his feelings, incredibly self-aware and sometimes even self-conscious, and ultimately able to get at least some degree of catharsis from the situation. Takeru...not so much.
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Takeru is a child, no matter how much he tries not to act like one, and it ultimately results in him reacting disastrously whenever something hits him too emotionally hard -- which results in Takeru suddenly becoming irrationally stubborn and even angry. We later see what it takes to actually break through Takeru’s facade of “totally having this together” in Adventure episode 22, which is also the first time he openly breaks down wailing in front of anyone besides Patamon -- and it’s, of course, when PicoDevimon convinces him that Yamato hates him. The interesting part is that this is so blatantly a lie that even Tokomon is able to quickly call bullshit on it, but Takeru, previously having worked so hard to maintain this facade of being responsible, falls for it completely with utter irrationality -- and it really does suggest that Takeru’s fear of losing yet another member of his family, and being a burden to Yamato, runs so deep that it causes that entire facade to shatter in one blow.
Which is where the problem lies: Takeru’s habit of suppression is so bad that once one of his triggers is hit, he completely loses all sense of rationality and blows up, and it becomes nearly impossible to reason with him because he locks down on becoming stubborn. It’s also dangerous because even he isn’t particularly self-aware of what he’s doing when he blows up like this; at least Hikari was very consciously aware of her suppression problem, but Takeru never really seems to have any awareness of the fact that his covering up of his feelings is directly related to some of his worst moments. We see it cause problems between him and Patamon again in Adventure episode 33, when Patamon asks a rather innocuous question about the brothers, and it hits Takeru’s trigger so badly that he snaps at him, resulting in the fight that kicks off the plot of the episode.
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Adventure episode 52 is basically a major test for Takeru as to whether he really can hold himself together in a situation where everyone else older than him is gone, and “having himself together” is something he has to actually do instead of just have the surface facade of. He does, ultimately, pass, and this is why the Crest of Hope glows this episode -- but it’s also made clear that it wasn’t quite as easy for him as he would normally pretend it is. Of course, it also helps that Piemon is genuinely the scariest threat they’d faced during that time, but it also reveals that, yeah, ultimately, Takeru is an eight-year-old child who still has to struggle to put on a brave face so that Hikari doesn’t get impacted by his own fear.
For all it’s worth, although we get a ton of depth into his background and mentality, Takeru does not actually change that much as a character over the course of Adventure. This incident is probably what changes him the most in terms of him gaining a more solid core, and he also learns to accept the inevitability of fighting after his stubborn refusal to engage in it all the way back in Adventure episode 12 -- but for the most part he still does remain a bit naive about the world at large, and, more importantly, his issue with trying to cover up his problems with a confident smile never really gets addressed. At most, he’s willing to admit his grief over being separated from Patamon in Adventure episode 54, but even that is something Takeru tries to bounce back from quickly, much like with the first time he cried with Patamon in Adventure episode 12. But there’s nothing to indicate that his problem with emotional management isn’t going to continue being a problem from here on out if left unchecked.
That problem ends up taking another three more years to get addressed.
Takeru in 02
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Takeru is one of the first people we meet in 02 (for reasons that end up revealed in the final episode), and right off the bat we learn that he’s a bit...evasive. He leaves a cryptic line to Daisuke about his goggles without coming even close to what we all know is the full extent of what’s on his mind (that the goggles specifically remind him of someone important to him), and later just...deflects Daisuke throwing accusations at him with a mild dismissal. In fact, even though Takeru pretty clearly understands very quickly what’s going on with Daisuke and how touchy he gets with the Hikari issue, he keeps dodging the question and constantly saying things that are evasive about it and therefore never truly helps his case until episode 17, when the circumstances between why Hikari and Takeru knew each other are finally properly clarified to Daisuke and he stops getting on their case about it on his own.
There were multiple points in time before this -- especially in episode 7, when Daisuke is practically at his worst in regards to approaching Takeru -- when Takeru could have easily said something to at least attempt to get Daisuke to stop bothering him, but Takeru never even asks him to cut it out! He simply continues to handle everything with a “yeah, okay, sure! :)” attitude, which of course confuses Daisuke (who’s rather allergic to people not being straightforward) rather thoroughly, and you wonder if he’s practically enjoying seeing Daisuke’s antics to the point he’s just enabling it further.
As a point of aside trivia, the official 02 website adds the fun detail that apparently he's popular with the girls at school but doesn't show much interest in them himself, and the Animedia audio commentary CD for Armor Evolution to the Unknown had his voice actor even express the opinion that he saw Takeru as someone who wasn’t really the type to think about romance at this age (adding in a separate interview for the 02 DVDs that he felt Takeru was respectful of girls primarily due to having been taught by his single mother to be such). The latter part of course isn’t something that comes from the writing, but given the website trivia I’m inclined to personally agree with it -- and, more importantly, the implication is that Takeru is at least aware of these kinds of things, but actively chooses to not think about it and deal with it when the time comes.
So in other words: That part about how Takeru actively suppresses things that are negative or inconvenient to think about, all for the sake of keeping a smile plastered on his face? Yup, still there.
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In fact, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment from 02 episode 17 implies heavily that, even with their parents having developed a more cordial relationship after the events of Adventure, Takeru is now emotionally dealing with the aftermath of his parents’ divorce worse than Yamato is, since Yamato is at least able to speak about it casually and even joke about it openly, whereas Takeru keeps his mouth shut and the framing of the shot heavily implies he’s still extremely sensitive and unable to vocalize his feelings on it. Takeru never brings this up as something eating away at him for the entire series -- but BelialVamdemon uses it against him in episode 49, revealing that, yes, this is a problem that’s still tearing away at him, and yet he’s refusing to be open to anyone about it, even to Yamato himself. (Especially since, again, Yamato seems to be doing a great job trying to move forward; why kill his mood and thus be a “burden” to him?)
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Even so, Takeru is very different in 02 partially because his circumstances are completely different. Adventure had him as the youngest in a group of older kids, so in terms of “being a responsible child”, that naturally meant being deferential and polite to everyone due to standards of propriety. 02 is where we learn a lot more about how Takeru interacts with peers his own age and people who are outright younger than him, when he has a bit more leeway to be more assertive.
On top of that, back in Adventure, Takeru was a young child who had a very small “range of periphery” -- as a young child still rather naive about the world, his emotional investment in things primarily pertained to loved ones and the people around him. But now that he’s a bit older, he’s gained a certain degree of strong feelings about “what’s the right thing to do”, and now has very strong opinions on it.
These things ultimately manifest in, unfortunately, Takeru losing his composure much more often than he did in Adventure, and for reasons that pertain to much wider things than just his brother. Still not having recovered from the trauma of losing Patamon back in Adventure episode 13, Takeru starts physically fighting Daisuke in 02 episode 11 because he perceives Daisuke as not doing enough to prevent Patamon from potentially becoming a slave to the Kaiser, and in 02 episode 13 he lashes out at Hikari in frustration about her refusal to do anything about her situation (which he of course ends up deeply regretting later in the episode).
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Takeru’s infamous scene of suddenly switching modes on the Kaiser and punching him out in 02 episode 19 is basically the pinnacle of this -- because, yes, the Kaiser really did deserve it, but this really is not a good thing for Takeru either. This is Takeru getting the closest we ever see him to being a genuine sadist, and it’s basically everything to do with his emotional stuntedness coming out at once -- blowing up in anger out of nowhere with a passive-aggressive demeanor, succumbing to the weight of his trauma in the worst way possible, and mixing the ^^ front he puts on with his tendency to blow up angrily at anything that cuts him a little too emotionally close.
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And for the first time, we see someone actually acknowledge how bad this is. Iori, one of the most consciously perceptive of the group, witnesses, for himself, the sheer jarringness of Takeru seeming to only really have two modes between “all smiles” and “unreasonably angry”. Sure, Takeru had shown a penchant for getting active as soon as there was something he needed to protect, but the moment it got personal, Takeru suddenly blew up in front of his eyes and almost turned into a completely different person. (Perhaps he’s not that different from Yamato after all...)
This is a very important moment because it sets up the base for what ultimately becomes the Jogress arc between Iori and Takeru. Daisuke ended up reaching out to Ken because Ken was someone who needed someone to accept him and teach him to move forward instead of drowning in the past; Miyako ended up reaching out to Hikari because Hikari knew herself to have a suppression problem but had difficulty doing anything about it, so the extremely in-your-face and aggressive Miyako could go in deep. But with Takeru, since his personality is genuinely volatile, and because Takeru goes out of his way to hide the fact he’s having emotional problems, personalities like Daisuke and Miyako wouldn’t help much because they’re too straightforward for someone like this who’s a bit unpredictable -- whereas Iori, who’s assertive but also methodical and thinks through everything consciously, is eventually much better able to reach out to him.
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Once the relevant arc kicks in, in 02 episode 34, Iori continues to observe Takeru, and quietly notes the many “contradictions” in Takeru’s behavior -- since, after all, Takeru starts to sometimes violate what you’d think would be common sense whenever he gets too emotionally compromised. The fact that ostensibly one of the outwardly “nicest” kids in this group suddenly blows up in certain circumstances and basically goes “absolutely nope, needs to be killed!” in the midst of a few moral debates over killing sentient Digimon disturbs him deeply, and really, it’s not even about the killing part (after all, it’s later established in 02 episode 43 and after that Takeru and Hikari have a certain degree of acceptance of the inevitability that the others don’t) as much as Takeru’s being pretty gung-ho about it. Not “I don’t like it, but we have to” like he said earlier, but NOPE, GOTTA DO IT.
Iori refers directly to the duality of Takeru that he doesn’t quite understand multiple times in this episode (including in regards to the incident back in 02 episode 19), and it continues to torment him until the end, when Takeru only gives a very cryptic “clarification” that he doesn’t necessarily hate the darkness per se.
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Iori, too intimidated to ask Takeru about it directly, goes to ask Yamato in 02 episode 35, and Yamato finally clarifies the background that we as the audience knew but Iori didn't: the story behind Takeru's trauma regarding the loss of Angemon back in Adventure episode 13. Yamato also makes a conjecture about why Takeru has been acting so ambivalent towards Ken -- you'd think he'd still be under Takeru's scorn after the events of 02 episode 19, but in fact Takeru's judgment of him in episode 25 was simply that he was certain something had changed, yet he couldn't tell what he was thinking (really rich coming from someone who refuses to tell anyone else what he's thinking himself!). Yamato guesses that Takeru is inclined to be a bit more forgiving of Ken due to understanding the feeling of losing a partner -- and the ultimate conclusion here is, basically, that Takeru's behavior is contradictory because he's acting based on what's personal to him, not necessarily via principles that make sense. After all, back in Adventure, it was clearly demonstrated that Takeru isn’t exactly rational when things hit too close to home.
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The other important thing that happens this episode is that Takeru learns that Iori is actively trying to reach out to him, when Yamato drops him a line informing him that Iori asked. Despite complaining that Iori could have just asked him directly, after Takeru witnesses the face-off between Iori and BlackWarGreymon and a demonstration that Iori is clearly trying his best to make sense out of this entire mess, Takeru actively reaches out to Iori and says something to comfort him -- “a life is beautiful simply by existing.” It’s still cryptic as hell, but it’s not something he would have said in the midst of his anger in prior episodes.
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It would be one thing if it were simply that by itself, but the following episodes further push the idea that Takeru really is starting to change after witnessing all of this. 02 episode 36 has him explicitly acknowledge what Iori’s been doing this whole time in trying to understand him for the sake of their Jogress, and, finally, during their meal later that episode, he says, very openly and honestly, that he thinks they’ll be able to do it now. After two instances of Jogress, these kids are very aware of what that entails -- so this is basically Takeru consciously acknowledging to Iori “yes, I understand that you’re trying to reach out to me, and I accept it and want to understand you.” Because Takeru is such a convoluted sort of person, this “understanding” ended up being something that didn’t span a single magical moment as much as it took several episodes and a diplomatic, conscious affirmation on both ends -- but it’s a fitting way to go for someone who had always indicated some pretty poor conscious awareness of where his feelings were taking him.
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This is especially because, in 02 episode 37, his statements to comfort Ken are in pretty significant opposition to the sort of anger he’d displayed in earlier episodes, and are now a more pragmatic view of the issue in light of Iori’s efforts and everything he’d just witnessed with BlackWarGreymon -- and to drive the point home, the episode has, at the very end of it, Takeru making his first true explicit show of goodwill towards Ken after having been a bit touchy with him for so many episodes.
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Iori himself, being the youngest of the 02 group, still has a lot to learn, and so Takeru, who had previously been one of the youngest in the Adventure group himself, now has his role inverted to effectively be a guiding mentor to Iori as he finds his own way. Basically, Takeru becomes responsible for the welfare of this young child, and so his way of treating Iori is markedly different from the more detached and playful way he would treat others from here on out. This is especially because, earlier, Yamato had informed him that Iori had taken a very roundabout way to help understand him better, and so Takeru probably understands that he scared the hell out of Iori earlier and needs to do better. While the Takeru of 02 episodes 38-50 still has a way of being playful, and while he still isn’t completely straightforward about his intentions, he is definitely much better about being open with the others, especially Iori, instead of doubling down on his “everything-is-fine” mode.
And perhaps this is what the other meaning of “hope” thus became in this situation -- learning to be forward-facing even in the midst of truly knowing and understanding everything that’s wrong with the situation.
Post-02
Although Takeru’s Spring 2003 track is addressed to no one in particular, meaning that it’s the most likely reason he’s so willing to be open about it, Takeru outright admits he’s having problems with his emotions -- especially those pertaining to Angemon’s death. We do, however, learn that Takeru’s started writing the early, early drafts of what’ll eventually end up becoming the novels he writes as a future career.
This being only a year after the events of 02, Takeru’s position is interesting. His decision to start writing is that he wants to have a record of everything before it’s forgotten -- because these things are very personal to him -- but he’s not emotionally ready for the huge task of finalizing everything in words, to the point he still hasn’t told his mother he’s started writing yet. After all, this is a book we eventually find out takes upwards of twenty years, and so this is the presumable reason why -- being able to get this down in a rational way that’s not emotionally compromising is going to be an upwards battle for him.
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Even come Kizuna, there’s still a long way for him to go, because an actual line (in a very fast-paced movie) is dedicated to establishing that he’s still uncomfortable with his novel progress to the point he won’t even let Yamato see it. His official character profile and background details are revealing, too -- although he’s currently taking language classes in university and is even part of a children’s literature club, he still hasn’t actually decided on what to do with his future, meaning that he hasn’t determined that he’s going to be a full-time novelist with these yet. That means that even though he’s clearly still clacking away at his novel (multiple indications in the movie are given as such), his memoirs are still at the level of being so deeply personal, and not something he feels comfortable telling well, just yet.
I’ve pointed out before that despite not appearing directly with them in the movie, Takeru and Hikari have more in common with the others in the 02 group than they do with their Adventure seniors, and this is fully codified in the drama CD when Takeru is content to basically just “do whatever” with the rest of his friends instead of having any particular concerns about his future. And as someone who has a tendency to kind of just let his emotions take him wherever they’re going, this isn’t too surprising. Although he approximates as the closest to level-headed during most of the group’s antics during the CD, he’s still completely guilty of enabling them full-force, after all...
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So, with the 02 epilogue, we get the massive meta reveal that the entire series was Takeru’s novels the whole time. This was planned to be the ending for Adventure before recording for the first episode had even started, but was postponed to the end of 02 when the second series was greenlit -- and if you’d followed the Japanese version, there are a ton of meta hints scattered around from day one:
The narrator of the series is Hirata Hiroaki, who played Takeru and Yamato’s father, and is revealed in this episode to voice him as an adult as well;
Episode 12 of Adventure is named “Adventure! Patamon and Me” and is the only episode title in Adventure or 02 to use a first-person pronoun -- and it’s of course a Takeru-centric episode, with the episode title using Takeru’s boku;
02′s first episode kicks off narrated by young Takeru opening the story, with Takeru himself suspiciously omitted from the opening vignettes;
02 episode 18 suddenly has the narration cut in when discussing Takeru’s trauma from Adventure episode 13, with the younger Takeru even filling in part of it himself;
02 episode 49′s “next episode” preview for 50 suddenly also starts using “we”, which also includes Takeru’s boku;
Finally, Takeru starts narrating right after Oikawa’s death, which fades into what’s revealed to be his adult voice.
In the context of Adventure, Takeru was “the youngest child”, so the idea makes sense that “the littlest one” would be the one to grow up and reflect on all of the adventures they had as kids -- and once 02 was added, it practically made sense that Takeru would be the one to recap both adventures, being the one person who was there to completely witness both (it also explains why Takeru and Hikari’s character arcs remain somewhat unresolved by the end of Adventure compared to others, since by this time it was apparent their story would be continued in the second series). So on a meta level, Takeru is, in a certain way, one of the most important characters in both groups.
On a level relevant to his personal character arc, on the other hand, the point here is that Takeru finally managed to put together his book and story in a way that he was comfortable telling the entire world about, to the point of choosing to make his entire career into it. That’s something that requires a lot of coming to terms with what happened, how he feels about it, how others feel about it, and everything about the whole ordeal in general, without compromise or (too much) bias.
And in the end, that’s really a lot!
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