#that is not the original text in the last gif
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
bakedbeanchan · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Love advice so garbage he doesn't even follow it himself
2K notes · View notes
elfcollector · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS (2009) — developed by bioware.
348 notes · View notes
meidui · 1 year ago
Text
why tony is never beating the favouritism allegations
1. steve gets the first cup of coffee even though he's literally standing the furthest away
Tumblr media
2. only steve gets a present
Tumblr media
3. to scott: oh am i repeating myself? am i???? pissant. this plan does not involve you to steve: honey i have an idea, do you trust me sweetheart, it's your call baby
Tumblr media
4. *gets back from 1970* *immediately and i mean IMMEDIATELY checks to make sure that steve is still standing next to him*
Tumblr media
766 notes · View notes
sparklingjay · 6 months ago
Text
Shadow sure likes to stare at Sonic!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
204 notes · View notes
goldenpinof · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
we are back, baby!!!
435 notes · View notes
vcrnons · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
op has left the chat.
bonus, starring vernon the vocal:
Tumblr media
278 notes · View notes
pearlcaddy · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
lockwood & co appreciation week 💀 favorite ship
Locklyle [insp]
547 notes · View notes
magicaldreamfox1 · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“I... thank you for your mercy. I'll always love and be loyal to the main family. But I can't betray my own feelings anymore. I resign.”
479 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ah, Major Winchester, the party of one! Dinner is served.
365 notes · View notes
spookystarfishzombie · 6 months ago
Text
Oop, just noticed I've surpassed a 100 followers.
Thanks to all my guys, gals and non-binary pals for putting up with my shitty edits, ranty posts and anything in between. Y'all the real MVPs.
Tumblr media
x
2 notes · View notes
konveeart · 2 years ago
Text
Kickstarter Update!✨
01.18//// UPDATE //// It’s really happening..!!
Writing a bunch of thank yous’ in every post and still- I feel I am not close to expressing how grateful I am to each and every one of you. Thank you all so much for the endless encouragement, enthusiasm and support over my first campaign!
Within 7 days, all stretch-goals have been reached and I am sitting here, early this morning, still unable to realise what just happened. It’s been an intense week and now I feel it catching up, the goal is staying diligent through this time and moving on <33
Taking a big breath and downing a cold glass of water, I am very happily announcing that all pin designs are now available for all tiers, 22 Books of “Κένταυροι και Διατάσεις” (Stretching Centaurs) left, and I am already beaming while brainstorming ideas for a little extra as a thank you ,,^ ω ^,,
I’ve posted a proper update here, feel free to check it out ♥ //
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Stretching Centaurs Original Enamel pins Kickstarter🌟✨{you can get yours here~}
13 notes · View notes
undercityrezident · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
I posted 1,262 times in 2022
That's 562 more posts than 2021!
87 posts created (7%)
1,175 posts reblogged (93%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@pkmncoordinators
@rat2rrj
@ranger-kellyn
@mousewich
@cascadena
I tagged 1,261 of my posts in 2022
#pokemon - 696 posts
#fanart - 642 posts
#pokeani - 246 posts
#the legend of zelda - 222 posts
#princess zelda - 130 posts
#link - 123 posts
#swsh - 107 posts
#legends - 104 posts
#breath of the wild - 96 posts
#zelink - 88 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#i'm loving this new appreciation on the writers' end for his previous journeys after years and years and years of them kind of shunning it
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Tumblr media
I might’ve made Hisuian Clemont... Oops...
12 notes - Posted January 28, 2022
#4
Alright... that’s a lot to unpack... good grief... what an episode.
Ok, where are we? I guess the start is as good a place as any to begin.
So, here we are in part four of Leon vs. Ash. At least one of my predictions came true: Eternatus helped solve the problem that Ash and Leon’s Gigantamax and Z-move created. I’m glad that, in that sense, Eternatus didn’t interfere in the match so much as to have them call it off. I could’ve very easily seen the writers doing that as a cop-out not wanting to break Leon’s winning streak while not giving Ash another finals loss.
I do wonder what exactly changed such that Eternatus is now trying to actively keep away another occurrence of the Darkest Day, aside from just being a captured pokemon. Maybe that’s all it really takes. I might’ve appreciated more hints and scenes on this change in behaviour aside from the one we got the episode before the battle, but I can’t ask for too much more for such a one-off thing, I suppose.
Anyway, the lesson here we learn here is don’t mix your battle enhancements. Z-Moves and Gigantamax moves apparently have violent, explosive, world-altering chemistry.
I think the best thing we got out of that encounter was Team Rocket narrating the events to the same rhythm and rhyme as their motto. Considering I don’t really care for TR always butting into the match and eating up valuable screen time, that’s saying something.
That all aside, we can’t say that Eternatus didn’t do anything to influence the match. They apparently gave Leon and Ash another use of Gigantamax, which Leon elected to use on Cinderace this time while Ash could only use it with his lone contender, Pikachu. In retrospect, I should’ve expected something like this because we’d also been exposed to Gigantamax Pikachu far earlier in the series. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it, but I guess it’d been long enough that I forgot about the big round Pika-friend and his extra-long lightning-tail.
Strangely, we only got one move out of each of those Gigantamaxes with a cool pairing of move impacts that each tried to hold at bay. The announcer said the impacts forced them back to normal size, which seemed like a really conveniently mundane answer. I would’ve gone with something along the lines of the fact that Enternatus only provided so much power for their second Gigantamax, but that’s just me.
That said, the visuals in this face-off were pretty cool, and I love Cinderace trying to repeatedly kick the damn lightning bolt back up into the sky. That said, Cinderace must be quite frail since I’m reasonably certain it took little to no damage in its other appearances in the match. Meanwhile, Pikachu took that giant fire-soccer-ball like a champ and went on to stand up against Charizard.
I do appreciate that, in the end, after all those battle enhancements through the match we do come down to a classic pokemon battle. No Mega Evolution. No Z-moves, no Gigantamax or Dynamax. Just  Pikachu vs. Charizard.
And after all that, after we finally... finally... got some screens of Ash’s past travelling companions that we’ve been missing! Another shot of the ranch crowd; Misty; Brock, Cilan, and Alexa all in the same room, May and Serena in contest garb with Max and bonus Lisia! I’m not sure why we haven’t been able to get them until now, but thank god we finally got them in before it was all over.
Now, I’d be here all night if I were to narrate every move exchange between the pair of battlers because damn, there are a lot, and damn, some of them work great on screen. Pikachu using an electroweb to delay a fire blast long enough to dart away. Charizard taking an iron tail in the chest to be able to use a dragon pulse at point-blank range. Pikachu jumping from ancient power boulder to ancient power boulder like in his gym battle with Grant back in XY to get to the fucking ceiling of the arena. Dueling moves as the pair fall back to the ground. The raw displays of power between the two pokemon as they try and intimidate each other and show off their strength.
I won’t lie, I was captivated. This is the kind of battling I love to see. This is why I come back to this anime time and time again. For these moments. For these battles. I swear, for a few minutes there, I forgot about all the critiques I had for the rest of the battle in the previous three episodes leading up to this. I might’ve even forgotten my all-to-often-displayed annoyance for Leon’s character too.
This was just raw, high-octane, amazing battle and animation fueled by rad music and peak emotional investment from the trainers, the pokemon, and even me.
Then Pikachu took a nasty fire blast hit, beginning, for me, the most poignant and powerful part of the episode. All to the tune of Pikachu’s heaving breaths, we got to see the looks on everyone’s faces as we waited to see if the little yellow mouse would continue to stand:
Dawn and Chloe; Team Rocket; our favourite badass ladies, Cynthia and Diantha; Misty; May and Serena holding hands, and Max is there too; the two mentors in Cilan and Brock; Iris on her iPad; my precious lemon siblings, Clemont and Bonnie; the whole fucking Alola gang, and then the Alola adults too; the Oak Ranch crowd; and finally, Goh.
Then, from behind Pikachu’s own eyes, we saw the moment he fell over. This next part of the episode that made me actually choke up a bit.
For Pikachu, all in its own mind within presumably fractions of a second--though stretched out for us and him--a reunion with all his friends: Ash’s pokemon. All of them. From every region. Kanto. The Orange Islands. Johto. Hoenn. Sinnoh. Unova. Kalos. Alola. And the latest team too. And even pokemon Ash released, traded, or otherwise left with others: Butterfree, Pidgeot, Primeape, Ambipom, Goodra, and Nagandel.
I’m a sucker for nostalgia, I won’t even try to hide that. I love when the anime acknowledges the past sagas. And this was wonderful for me. The feelings that welled up for me had me clutching my chest.
And then finally, Ash comes up and tells him, “That’s right Pikachu! Everyone’s at our side!”
That’s when Pikachu gets up and lets out a frighteningly powerful thunderbolt that even has Charizard and Leon recoiling.
That’s when Ash turns his cap back when we know things are really hitting their peak.
That’s when Leon throws his cap off and does his goofy, though I suppose now quite appropriately timed, pose as the two contenders finally meet in their final clash of the match.
Pikachu meeting Charziard in the middle, shrouded in pure electric power contrasted against red-hot flame, was a powerful feat of animation...
...and made me wonder why we ever gave up Volt Tackle.
Cut to Pikachu on a bed in the local Pokemon Center, us as audience members supposedly clueless as to who won. It was a strange way to delay telling us who won, since they really didn’t make us wait long to show it anyway. But all said, the finale of Charizard getting domed on the head by Pikachu, letting out one last frustrated gout of flame before keeling over, was pretty neat.
Then, to my surprise, an actual moment of character development for Leon! We’d been teased, very lightly, with flashbacks to Leon as a kid. This culminates here in the completion of those scenes with us seeing none other than a young (and hella adorable) Sonia beating the young new trainer, Leon.
I actually really love the idea of the unbeatable champion having actually lost to someone before, and that someone being Sonia. Sorry Ash, you weren’t the first!
But that’s ok! Because you beat him when it counted, Ash! You got there, to that champion podium, with that damn trophy that’s almost as big as you (you really gotta grow up soon already Ash... you���re not going to be able to carry these home if they keep growing at the rate they are and you’re growing at the rate you are...).
We got another moment with the gang back at Oak Ranch, our phaesporia crumbs with Diantha and Cynthia pining for another match (so why not each other... heheh), cuts to Ash’s supporters in the crowd (aww why no cuts to our lovely companions watching from afar again? Aw... oh well...) and then, finally, to the next morning for the segue into Goh’s own finale to come next week.
See the full post
12 notes - Posted November 11, 2022
#3
Odd thought:
So it’s quite heavily implied that Clemont was the one to come up with the idea of integrating Rotoms into the Rotomdex, thus kickstarting the idea of having Rotoms become a common sight in frequently used electronic devices that benefit from having autonomous and mobile behaviour, such as phones and cameras in battle arenas.
Considering that the Rotomphone is a continued fixture of the upcoming Scarlet/Violet games, on top of having been popularized in Galar and with the Rotomdex getting a start in Alola, it seems like the idea of using Rotoms in convenient electrical devices has really taken off on a multi-regional, perhaps even international, scale.
So...
I hope Clemont is seeing some sort of royalty benefits of this if these products are being monetized. Given the very commercialized nature of the Galar League (or at least implied commercialization, given that it mimics soccer leagues in theming in that region, on top of the fact we see adverts on the boards of the stadium as well as even on Leon’s cape), I can’t imagine that the Galar league gets to make use of the Rotom drone cameras for free. Therefore, someone likely makes and sells them to the league or the individual stadiums, which are likely financed by the league in some manner. If the pokemon world parallels our world, aside from Rotomphones given to young trainers to ensure they can communicate for safety and convenience on the road, I imagine that Rotomphones are something one has to buy as well.
Now, I’ve always headcanoned Clemont and his family lived in rather modest conditions (perhaps not below the poverty line, but not too far above it either, perhaps in the lower end of middle class). I hoped that the young man’s brilliance and drive, even if it doesn’t always pan out, would eventually lead him to a life of means by which he could eventually help support his family, helping to give Bonnie a happy childhood leading up to her eventual pokemon journey (given that he often appears as one of her primary caretakers, perhaps even more so than her father). A success on the scale of the establishment of the Rotom-integration trend would definitely be the windfall Clemont needed after years of using his own funds (after numerous deductions for essentials) from his position as gym leader to fund his passion of invention to mixed results. Perhaps many of his invention failures were due to the use of sub-par materials and parts that came with a lower income and meagre financial assets.
In addition to being able to continue with new, bolstered confidence and motivation on the winds of his new success, I’m sure Clemont will dedicate a great deal of these potential royalties to further iteration and invention with resources that could lead to greater and more frequent successes and greater benefits to “help people and pokemon” as he has claimed and endeavoured to do since he first fell in love with the concepts of science and engineering at large. As well, considering the fact he’s a person who cares deeply for his family’s welfare, and Bonnie’s especially, I’m certain he’ll use his a good part of his newfound wealth to ensure Bonnie has the best chance she has of pursuing her dreams too.
13 notes - Posted August 18, 2022
#2
My Commentary on Legends Arceus
Tumblr media
So, after some 86 hours of my life being consumed, I finally managed to complete Pokemon’s newest entry into the franchise. I know I kind of alluded to this being some sort of review in previous posts I’ve made, but the fact of the matter is, I’m neither a qualified or professional reviewer, nor am I someone expecting to convince others to play this game or assign it a score.
I’m writing this more as a way to purge my thoughts and feelings on this game in a way that makes me feel like the experience is complete. And, hot damn, I really want to talk about this game!
It goes without saying that there are massive spoilers for Pokemon Legends: Arceus beneath the cut.
Now, for full disclosure, for anyone that cares about where my opinion comes from on this game with references to my praises and critiques: I have completed the game in so far as that I have completed the main story, the post-game story, collected all the wisps, collected all the poetry, and gotten a research score of 10 to classify every pokedex entry as finished.
That said, I cannot bring myself to complete every single research entry for each pokemon’s shiny bonus, nor grind that last 2.5k points to get myself to a 10 star rank with Galaxy Team. As someone who doesn’t hunt shinies, and having looked up the 10 star reward, neither feels worth it to me.
That all said, I do think that I have a pretty broad scope with which to comment on this game. So here we go!
To start, let’s get around two big elephants in the room:
Firstly, let’s address game’s continuous comparisons to Breath of the Wild. Yes, in the very broadest and simplest sense, you could compare it to The Legend of Zelda’s open-world marvel. I had to actually dissuade myself from making this comparison in order to avoid the disappointment with the very first thing that I found annoying about this game: your base character cannot climb or mantle over small ledges.
See the full post
14 notes - Posted February 10, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Weird odd Volo theory with Legends: Arceus spoilers beneath the cut...
"Someday, I'll solve every riddle in the legends of Hisui's Pokémon. And on that day, I'll stand before Arceus at last—No, I will CONQUER it! No matter how many years, how many decades, how many centuries it takes me!" 
This is something Volo says after we defeat him and Giratina.
This just makes me wonder though:
Is it odd to anyone else that he says “centuries” there specifically?
I suppose this could be him being overly dramatic, but is the pursuit of a physical god not something that someone could fall into pursuing over a long-lived life?
Take another Volo quote: "I've devoted myself to Arceus beyond any other! I worshiped it as the creator of our entire world! I bent all of my passion and interest to its study! All the time I've spent poring over the legends... Everything that I've done—!" 
This sounds like an obsession that could be forged over a lifetime, though Volo does not appear all that old.
So I have to ask, in light of these quotes and Volo’s utterly fervent need to reach Arceus and his dedication to that goal: is Volo immortal?
Or at the very least, is he incredibly long-lived.
And that itself brings upon us another important question.
We’ve seen numerous ancestor characters to various Sinnoh characters (as well as ones from other regions). Naturally, we’d lend that assumption to Volo being an ancestor of Cynthia as well, right?
What if we were just meant to assume that?
What if Volo is long-lived, or even immortal, and the champion we all know and love in the modern Sinnoh era, is in fact the same person?
Appearance-wise, Volo could pass for Cynthia (given a new hairdo), and perhaps through clever feats of disguise; or if they’re, in fact, agender or genderfluid and able to pass as either of the two traditional binary genders; or if she’s transgender entirely, the chances are of Volo actually being Cynthia are not entirely remote. (I should make a disclaimer here, I’m not trans or non-binary, so if this seems like a misappropriation of these gender identities for this theory, I do apologize. I mean no offence or misuse.)
This doesn’t necessarily account for the changes in personality though. But you know what does change a person’s personality and perspective?
Time.
Legends: Arceus takes place at least 200 years before the Diamond and Pearl games, I believe. I know people whose entire personality and perspective have changed over just a decade. I know I’m a vastly different person than I was ten or even five years ago.
Assuming Legends is set in the same universe and timeline as the Sinnoh we all know, could the protagonist in this newest pokemon game set Volo on a new path by defeating him? Maybe Volo discovered a better path for himself all on his own during those centuries. Or maybe Cynthia is just very good at burying her Volo-esque impulses behind that champion facade in the Diamond and Pearl games...
We should also consider that Volo uses the same exact team as Cynthia, barring Milotic (which isn’t in Legends, so maybe that’s more technical reason than a lore one). Sure, we know that many ancestor characters use the same pokemon as their descendants. But most seem to use only one. Volo uses five of the same pokemon as Cynthia. As the old saying goes, once is chance, twice is coincidence, thrice is a pattern... and so on.
Wrong or right, the idea intrigues me, because I can’t just believe they’d throw in the word “centuries” for no good reason in that one line of dialogue.
33 notes - Posted February 10, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
3 notes · View notes
princess-of-purple-prose · 6 months ago
Photo
[ID: A gifset from The Untamed. Jiang Yanli says, "A-Xian, think of a courtesy name." Wei Wuxian asks, "For whom?" and Jiang Yanli smiles before looking at Jiang Cheng, who inhales before saying with a grin, "My incoming nephew." He and Jiang Yanli smile, and Wei Wuxian looks between them with awed happiness.
In the bonus, Jiang Yanli smiles and says, "Asking you to pick the name for the baby was his idea." Wei Wuxian looks with surprise at Jiang Cheng, who presses his lips together and looks away, hiding a brief smile. End ID]
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Bonus: 
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
giannaln4 · 5 months ago
Text
Sick
Tumblr media
lando norris x fem reader
summary: Your sickness got in the way of a romantic day Lando had planned for the both of you, but to him, making you feel better was way more important than anything. (3.1k words)
warnings: stablished relationship, sick!reader, mentions of throw up, extremely cheesy, fluff
a/n: i was supposed to post this last week when the request was made, i'm sorry it took me so long anon but i hope you like it! also i did make it a little longer and more dramatic than i had to. also this is the first request i post!! i have one more but please keep sending more ideas, i love reading what you have in mind
check out the original request here!
-> Prequel
↺ back to navigation— send me a request!
Tumblr media
Lando had been sick last week, and you did everything to take good care of him, as much as you could. You carried medications with you, made sure he drank enough water, and gave him tea to help him feel better. You even cuddled him every night to help him sleep.
He was extremely grateful that you made sure to take good care of him. Having to give everything on track sure made it a little difficult, but he did get better eventually, and he said it was thanks to you.
What you never considered, though, was the fact that his sickness would get to you, but the next week, you felt it, and it was even more evident the night after the Austrian Grand Prix.
For some reason, it hit you harder, and the fact that you had been travelling so much didn’t help. You wanted nothing more than to sleep for days until the sickness went away, but Lando had other plans. With how busy he usually is, he always makes you his priority when he’s away from the track, so before going to bed, he shared the plans he had for the next day, including some activities that required you to get ready and leave the comfort of your home.
You both valued your time together, and you could tell how excited he was to take you out and spend the day with you, something that would also help him to take his mind off the events that took place that weekend, so you said yes.
The next morning, you felt him leave the bed, kissing your forehead goodbye as you turned around to face him.
“I have a little something to do before our date, but you can meet me at the restaurant so we can have breakfast together, yeah?” He whispered. You just nodded, and he kissed you again, whispering a little ‘I love you’ before leaving your room.
You went back to sleep as soon as he left, but the sound of your alarm woke you up an hour later. You grunted as you turned it off, looking at the time, knowing you had to start getting ready if you wanted to make it on time for your date, but your body felt so heavy that you couldn’t even leave the bed. 
Your current state was unfortunate, to say the least. A pounding headache, a runny nose, a sore throat, constant sweating, and intense body pain. There was no way you could go out.
It broke your heart to have to cancel your day with Lando, but you knew your body couldn’t take it and that he would understand.
Before notifying your boyfriend that you wouldn't make it, you looked up your symptoms to make sure you didn’t need to seek medical attention. The last thing you wanted was to end up at the hospital; you never liked them. You quickly came to the conclusion that it was a simple cold. You should’ve seen it coming; not only did you take care of Lando while he was sick, but you hadn’t been feeling the best the last couple of days and brushed it off, thinking you were just tired.
You sent him a long text explaining that you were sick and apologising a million times for cancelling the romantic day he had planned, feeling terrible for failing him.
You fell back asleep almost immediately, but sadly, not for long. Your body temperature suddenly dropped, making you shiver, so you brought up every blanket and tried to cover your entire body with them, but stopped when you suddenly felt hot again.
You were sure you had never been this sick; you were uncomfortable, your throat was incredibly dry, and your whole body was sticky from sweat. It even hurt to sneeze. You let out a loud moan in discomfort, and a few seconds later, you heard the door open.
“Sorry, I didn’t know if you were awake, and I didn’t wanna bother you,” Lando said softly, entering the room. He was holding a few blankets and pillows that covered his face, but you knew he had a worried look on his face. You covered yourself again, up to your head; you didn’t want him to see you like this, not when your hair was an absolute mess and your sleeping shirt looked like you took a shower in it.
“What are you doing here? I thought you had something to do,” you asked under the blankets.
His eyes softened when they hit the lump on the bed as he placed the stuff by your feet. “Don’t worry about that; I’m done for the day.” He approached you and kneeled next to you. “Hey, how bad is it?”
“It’s bad. I don’t wanna get you sick again,” you replied, your throat hurting every time you spoke.
“You’ll be happy to know that I don’t care.” He joked, but you remained silent. “I assume you didn’t have any breakfast yet.”
“No”
"Well, I bought you some soup. You should eat it while it’s still hot, it will be good for you.” He stared at the blankets, waiting for you to come out or at least say something "Baby, come on, let me see you.”
You appreciated him being there to take care of you; it truly warmed your heart, and all you wanted to do was show him how thankful you were, but what if he got sick again because of you? What if you look so bad right now that he will break up with you on the spot? “I don’t look good,” you finally muttered.
“What?” He chuckled, thinking you were joking.
“I’m sweating an insane amount; I can feel my hair sticking to my face.”
“Let me braid your hair so you feel less sticky on the face. I promise you’ll feel better.”
You thought about it for a moment and figured he wouldn’t leave even if you directly asked him to, so you uncovered your face slowly and shyly looked at him. “I feel really ill.”
“I know, baby. Tell me what hurts.”
“Everything. My entire body, the headache is terrible, and I get really cold, but after a second, I feel like I’m boiling.”
He touched your forehead as soon as he noticed your blushed face. “Baby, you’re really hot.”
“I know that,” you joked with a smirk on your face.
Lando rolled his eyes but couldn’t contain his laughter. “Good to know your sense of humour remains untouched.” He stood up and left the room, coming back in a heartbeat as he held a bowl of soup. “You’re gonna eat your soup while I braid your hair and I promise it will make you feel at least a little bit better.”
“My hair is all covered in sweat, though.” You sat on the bed, waiting for him to give you the soup.
“That’s okay. It’s hot, so please be careful.” You carefully took the bowl from his large hands, and you could see the steam that came off of it.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your eyes avoiding his as you blew on the hot liquid.
“You might feel hotter for a moment, but this is good; you need a lot of fluids. Now, I’m gonna sit behind you, okay?” You nodded, making enough space for him.
He struggled a little to get behind you, moving softly so he didn’t make you spill any of the soup. “Are you comfortable?” He asked when he finally settled.
“Yes”
“Ok, should I do one or two?” He started brushing your hair. You were right; you were sweating a lot, but he didn’t care; he just wanted to take proper care of his girlfriend, just like you did when he was sick. 
“Two”
“Okay. They might not turn out the best, though. I’m not a great hairstylist, but they will help.” You chuckled, knowing he was right, but that was the least of your worries. 
You stayed like that for a few minutes. It didn’t take him long to figure out how to put two braids on you without pulling your hair or making your headache worse. "Done,” he said, getting back on his feet and taking a good look at how you looked with braided hair. His heartbeats began to increase. “You look really cute,” he said as he tilted his head, admiring you.
Your face was burning, and it wasn’t the fever. “Thank you. I actually do feel much better.” And you did; you were surprised at how lighter your head felt without all that hair resting on your face or shoulders.
“See? I told you.” He then kissed his fingertip and tapped your nose with it, making you melt at his touch ”Finish your soup. I’m gonna see if we still have that humidifier.”
He stepped out of the room once again, leaving you alone. Somehow, you already felt better, even though everything hurt the same. But you had to admit that the hot soup was a good call.
Once you were done with it, you laid back down carefully, not wanting to ruin the freshly styled hair. And only a few minutes later, you heard the door again, “No luck with the humidifier, but this will help too.” You paid attention to his hands. He was holding a bucket and a dry cloth in one hand and a bottle of water and some pills in the other. “Just this one last thing, and I’ll let you go back to sleep,” he said, as if he was bothering you; you didn’t feel like he was. If anything, it was the other way around, and you should be the one apologising. He put down the bucket next to the bed and waited for you to sit again, this time paying attention to your damp shirt. “Why don’t you change into some new clothes?”
You looked down at your shirt and felt embarrassed when you noticed how much it looked like you had been drowned in a rainstorm. It didn’t look that bad before, but it must’ve been the hot liquids. “Okay,” you agreed, about to get up, but he stopped you.
He wandered around your shared room, grabbing clean clothes that he believed would be comfortable for you to wear. He didn’t want you to feel too hot or too cold again, so he went for a happy medium. A shirt and underwear. You probably shouldn’t deal with too many layers anyway. “Here, I’ll help you change.”
He helped you with everything, which you were really thankful for since your body was too weak and in pain to do it by yourself. Tossing the dirty clothes somewhere in the room, he proceeded to grab the pillows he had previously set on the bed and started arranging them around you to make your uncomfortable state a little more pleasant.
“Are you comfortable?” He asked, looking down at you, and you nodded in response, “Sure?”
"Positive.” Even your voice was weak.
After you were settled, he grabbed the pills and handed them to you, going for the water bottle next “This is for your headache.” He waited for you to take them and watched you get comfortable again. He then reached into the bucket and completely submerged the cloth, making sure all the excess water was cleared before moving it away from the bucket. He stroked it over your face a few times. “You’re all good now. Why don’t you try to sleep?”
You looked up at him in pure admiration, “Thank you, baby.”
“For what?”
“For taking care of me,” you rasped out.
“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t take care of my sick girlfriend?” You could swear you had literal heart eyes right now. “You took care of me when I was sick, and I´m pretty sure this is my fault.”
“It’s not your fault, but you should probably get out of here. I don’t wanna get you sick again, your home race is next.” 
He shook his head and sat on the chair that was a few feet away from the bed. “What if you need something and I’m not here?”
You smiled at him again, but suddenly remembered what you were supposed to be doing. He must’ve noticed the change in your face. 
“What’s wrong?” He asked, kneeling next to you again as his hand rested on your cheek.
“Are you mad at me?”
“What? Why would I be mad at you?”
“For ruining our date.”
“Darling, we have a lifetime ahead of us. We have plenty of time to go on dates.”
Those words made you feel a million things at the same time, tears threatening to leave your eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you more,” he replied, his smile so big and sincere that his dimples made an appearance. “Try to get some sleep, yeah?”
You went back to sleep, and luckily this time you managed to rest for hours. In the meantime, Lando stayed on the bed next to you, doing some work to stay busy and awake, while he kept an eye on you in case you needed him. 
The hours went by, and your fever went away, finally. You woke up around 4 PM, slowly opening your eyes and squinting at the sudden brightness.
You scanned the room looking for Lando, but he was nowhere to be found. You figured it made sense that he left. You didn’t really expect him to stay there all day and waste his free day just to be with you.
You tried to get up, but your body still felt heavy. You groaned in pain and fell on your back again, strangely still feeling tired even after sleeping for hours. Before you could try again, Lando was entering the room.
“You came back,” you managed to say.
“Yeah, sorry. I was just getting you some tea.” He approached you and touched your forehead, relieved that you weren’t hot anymore. “How are you feeling?”
"Better,” you replied, not so sure you wanted him to get worried. “I guess my throat still hurts.”
“I figured, but this honey and lemon tea will help with that.” He smiled at you but when you didn’t move, he could feel the worry come back to him “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t like tea.”
“Tell your cold that.” You pouted like a little kid, but Lando’s face remained neutral as he waited for you to take the cup. “I know you don’t like tea, but I promise this will help. Besides, weren’t you giving me tea all the time when I was sick?” 
You gave in and took it, knowing he was right, and honestly, you would do anything to ease your sore throat.
You started drinking it, slowly but surely. It didn’t taste as bad as you remembered, and you started wondering if your mom was just bad at making tea. “Would you cuddle with me? If it’s not too gross.” You asked out of nowhere.
“Gross? Why-?”
“Because I have been sweating a lot, and it’s not like I took a shower yet,” you explained, a little embarrassed.
“Were you grossed out when I was the sick one asking for cuddles?”
You answered immediately, “No, but you weren’t this sick.”
“C’mon, don’t be silly.” He was happy you wanted to cuddle. Since he got there in the morning, he was concerned that you just wanted him out of there. Carefully, he got in bed with you, sitting against the headboard and getting into a comfortable position. He waited for you to lay down and nestled you between his legs, with your back against his front.
“Thank you for staying with me. I feel much better with you.”
“Really? Because for a moment there, it felt like you didn’t want me here.”
“I do, I really do. I just-” You stopped for a moment to think about your words “I don’t wanna be a burden.”
“Y/N, you know I would never think that.” He was brushing your check.
“Still, you wasted your free day and stayed here all day… for me. We couldn’t even go out like you wanted to.” You then felt guilty about your realisation. “Did you eat something today?”
“I did; I ordered something while you slept. I wanted to get some lunch for you too, but I wasn't sure for how long you’d be asleep. Are you hungry?”
“Not really,” he nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. “I’m still tired.”
Lando had been sick before, and he knew it was exhausting to deal with it, but he doesn’t remember a cold taking him down like that. Still, he agreed to stay there with you while you went to sleep. Again.
A while went by, and he didn’t notice when you started to drift off, but when he felt you shivering on top of him, he opened his eyes quickly.
You were freezing cold, to the point where your teeth were chattering, but your skin was so hot that he could melt chocolate on your forehead. He knew that your fever coming back and your temperature going up so quickly were bad signs.
“Y/N?” He whispered, softly moving you, “Y/N, are you okay?”
“Mhm?” You hummed. You were holding the blanket tighter and closer to your body.
“How are you feeling?” He kept a low voice, not wanting to overwhelm you.
“I’m freezing.” He was about to embrace you again, but was interrupted when you abruptly sat on the bed. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”
He followed your actions and reached down for the bucket that was still next to the bed and placed it between your legs. ‘Not good,’ he kept thinking, rubbing your back for comfort “If that’s the case, then you’re worse than I thought, sweetheart; we might have to go to the doctor.” You didn’t like the seriousness of his voice.
“I don’t like hospitals.”
“Well, I don’t care whether you like it or not; your fever is coming back and you’re feeling nauseous. I don’t think that’s normal for a cold. You are literally shaking.”
“I’ll be fine. I just need to sleep a little more.”
“I know you don’t want to, but we really need to see a doctor.” You didn’t say anything, hoping he would just forget about that, but of course he wouldn’t. “Everything is gonna be okay. You’re here with me right now, aren’t you?” You stayed silent. “Come on, I’m gonna take you to the hospital, and I promise you’ll feel better, okay?” You nodded. You knew he was taking care of you, good care of you, but anything related to sickness, doctors, or hospitals scared you for some reason. “Hey, I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you. You’re safe with me. I promise,” he said, raising his pinky in front of you, satisfied when you locked it with your own.
1K notes · View notes
ynackerman9499 · 1 year ago
Text
Hello! This is me! 𝕪/𝕟 𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕟! This is my tumblr in case you don't know me i have a youtube channel which I upload texting stories videos to it! And this is my first post here in tumblr (original)
Some male Hashiras + kagaya reaction to you sacrificing yourself for them
⚠ Warning : spoiler in kyojuro and kagaya, take of death, blood, injuries, crying, some of them are really short
Tumblr media
Giyu Tomioka
You and Giyuu were fighting against 2 demons who used a blood demon art
You killed one and Giyuu killed the other one
Or so you both thought...
"You did well giyuu_san!" You said smilling putting your sword in place
While giyuu just nodded humming as a silent 'thank you'
This only made you smile even wider. You've been friends with giyuu with great amount of time now
You both actually gets along very well Despite your different personalities
So you got used to his comforting quiet gesture
"All right! Let's head back n-"
You suddenly stopped sensing that something is wrong While giyuu looked at you wondering why you fell silent so suddenly
"Wh-"
You breathed in sharply, catching a glint in the air watching it whizz towards Giyuu.
"not on my watch!"
You yelled, quickly drawing your sword breaking the unknown object in half.
Giyuu's eyebrow twitched, taking his sword out of its sheath.
"giyuu, there!" You shouted, pointing to the direction of the demon that was currently perched on one of the trees.
The two of you gave each other a knowing nod, rushing towards the trees and jumped landing on one of the branches,
"come back here you coward!" You barked, skillfully jumping from tree to tree, following after the demon.
The demon hissed, sending metal shards towards you and Giyuu, which the two of you dodged with ease
"breath of ice..." you mumbled taking a deep breath
"dance of frozen crystals!"
Streams of sparkling diamond-like figures flowed out your sword as you jumped upwards, holding your katana over your head as you swung it effectively cutting half of it's body;
sadly, not his neck, as he covered it with a steel-like substance.
"Y/n!"
Giyuu called out, causing you to look back at him wondering why did he sound so worried
You saw he was looking horrified looking at your chest rather than your face
'why did he sound so-'
You were caught out of your thoughts by yourself coughing something liquid out of your mouth
You looked down at your chest, a large sharp metal shard piercing through the middle of your chest
"uh.. F-fuck.." you muttered stumbling back and falling against a tree vomiting even more blood feeling it a bit hard to breathe
"y/n! No!" giyuu shrieked running at your slumbering and bloody figure against the tree
"giyuu.. The d.. emon" You mumbled, coughing out a worrisome anmountof blood, the crimson liquid spilling out of your lips in mouthfuls.
"i cant leave you..." he whispered as of scared of starling you
"i cant you are in_" "... Dying"
You corrected him. Mastering the last energy you had to cup his face with your bloody hand while lying in his embrace
"i am.. Dying, Giyuu..."
"no.. No you are not.. You can slow the ble-" "my lungs are... damaged giyuu"
Tears burned his eyes, hugging you close to his chest and placed his hand over your cheek
"i.. Love you... Giyuu... So... Much.. " you confessed as you started to lose consciousness and struggling even more to keep your eyes open
You took a deep breath but sadly... It didn't come out again...
"y/n.. Y/n... Hey.." giyuu said with shaky voice as a couple of tears escaped his eyes
"hey...don't do this to me, love... I–i love you too... Why did you do this... I–i don't deserve this..."he said as he closed your lifeless eyes with his fingers
"i am sorry i am too useless to be able to protect you..." he was now on full mode sobbing
Oh how cruel is it that you didn't even hear the person you love saying thing you wanted to hear from him the most...
Tumblr media
Obanai Iguro
No...
No no no no...
That wasn't supposed to happen...
The hit was meant for him...
It was meant for him damn it!
Why did you have to take it for him
He doesn't deserve it
He doesn't deserve to live
Why would he live while you are here dying in his arms gasping and wheezing for air
He is enraged
His fear tends to come out as anger
So while you are literally dying he is shouting at you for how stupid you are, how foolish to waste your precious live over his useless one
His shouting you mutter out an Inaudible : 'sorry... '
Just then the anger turns into tears
"you idiot..." he wailed... Actually wailed.. Something you never thought you'd see, not that you wanted to in the first place
It was supposed to be him...
"don't you dare apologise..." he hugged you even tighter feeling you fading away from him as you tried to breath but it only come out as a horrible choking sound as you choked on your own blood
His cheek rested on top of your head
"o-oba... nai.. " you said chocking in the middle of word as the hole in your chest began seeping even more blood
"g–give them.. H–hell for m–me... Yeah?..."
Oh he would...
He would make them pay for taking you away from him
For making the only person who kept him moving forward...
Is now cold and limb in his arms...
Tumblr media
Sanemi shinazugawa
Fuck!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck!
He physically can't handle what he is looking at
As he refused to stop saving you even after you already stopped breathing
"shit! Shit!" he pressed harsher on the wound, the blood was slowing but not because of his relentless attempt...
You were gone... Not even being able to get a word out because of how harshly he was crying
For some reason... Even in your final moments you found it kind of comforting that he was try his best to save you
You felt your heart break looking at him from the other side hugging your cold, lifeless body... Trying to squeeze some warmth into it even though he knows its useless
Tumblr media
Kyojuro Rengoku
You coughed out blood as akaza hand went through your stomach
"Y/N! NO!"
You took the hit for kyojuro
I mean... How could you not... You just couldn't let someone like him die
You just couldn't...
Gripping your sword harder, you slashed it against his neck making his eye widen
'she got in my way! And she still has the strength!
Akaza thought as he was amazed at how you still has the strength to even breathe
'Kyojuro, im going to die. I know. We had a life planned in front of us, but..l couldn't let you die. I just can't'
You thought as The demon tried to punch your face, but you stopped it with your other hand
"Y/N!!"
'you won't get away... Akaza!'
Looking behind the demon, but still applying force on the neck, you looked behind to see Rengoku with the boy from before charging at you with their swords.
A smile got onto your face.
'I wont ever let go off the sword ..Until I cut his head off!'
"INOSUKE MOVE! MOVE FOR Y/N-SAN!"
The boar now charged at you with speed His attack cut the demons arms, your sword still attached to his neck.
He was running away, clearly.
The boy threw his sword at the demon,.
stabbing him through the chest. Followed by Screaming of how he was a coward by running away and that both Rengoku and you were stronger than him.
You felt two gentle pair of hands gripping your back, drops of water, or tears, to your cheek as kyojuro took you in his embrace trying to stop the bleeding even though he knows it's a fatal wound
"Y/n.. No. No..please don't leave me! Please! I beg you! I will go down on my knees if it have to!"
"kyo... It's okay..." You say voice barely a whisper as you gathered all the strength you had trying to put your hand on kyojuro's cheek.
He quickly took your bloody hand in his and put it over his cheek
"no no... The hit was meant for me to take... Why did you have to get in the middle... Why.."
"i just couldn't.. Let–" vomiting blood "y-you... Die"
You said panting feeling like you can't breathe anymore...
Kyojuro the brust out sobbing burying his face in your neck as your body laid lifeless in his arms
It was supposed to be him dammit!
He was supposed to be the one protecting you!
Not the other way around!
On the other side tanjiro watching the scene feeling his heart break over and over again
Another love story between two lovers was ruined by those disgusting Creatures
Tumblr media
Tengen uzui
after a long and hard battle you had ended up dangling off the side of a cliff barely holding onto an also seriously injured tengen.
He could feel your fingers slipping from his.
you were both tired and injured it was a tough battle and despite the demons head being cut off you had taken some heavy blows and now you were dangling off the side of a cliff, barely conscious as tengen held onto your hand with his
"dont worry y/n! ill pul you up Soon!"
you could see him struggling to hold your hand and knew that if he held on any longer he might go down with you
watching him struggle above you made your heart ache as you couldnt do anything to help
"Ten.."
the both of you made eye contact with each other
"thank you for being with me... I love you so much"
his eyebrows twitched at your words
"why does it sound like youre saying goodbye? y/n. You better hold into my hand!"
his jaw was clenched as he spoke to you
you couldnt leave him
if only he had killed that demon sooner
if only he could have protected you
in this moment he hated the gentle smile that was on your face
because to him it meant he had failed
"we both know we'll both fall if you dont let go, neither of us have enough strength left to do anything."
"its okay ten, im ready. i love you and I'll always be watching over you. live well"
he could feel your fingers one by one letting go of his hand and he tried as hard as possible to not let go
"y/n please! I.. I can't do this without you... "
you just shook your head
"im sorry ten but you have to, i know you can. you're going to do great things, with or without me."
"always remember that i love you... And i'll always be watching you"
With that, the last grip he had on you failed
the serene smile on your face was the last thing he saw as you fell to your probable death,
shattering his heart
he screamed your name on the top of his lungs as your hands disconnected followed by painful sobs
Not again...
First his siblings now you..
He lost so many loved ones
of course he knew that he was too injured to pull you up and the most he could have done was just hold onto you until help came,
If help came...
he hated this,
he hated himself
what was the point of being strong when he couldnt even save the one person he loved most in this entire world
"Live well" it was one of the last things you told him hed try his best to because you asked him of it but to him living well meant being by your side which was something he couldnt do anymore.
Tumblr media
Muichiro Tokito
poor baby doesn't really know what to do
he's kneeling beside you with a worried look
he's sweating and his hands are clammy
he remains silent for the most part
"Y/n?"
He is right next to you, hand nervously taking your own
"Don't worry."
you give him a weak smile as scary as it was, just his presence was enough.
"|-what do I do?"
The fear in his face made your heart clench.
"Just stay with me. You dont need to do a thing..."
You squeezed his hand with the last bit of strength
you had, smiling softly
"Be careful okay? There are still a lot of demons left"
You didn't fear death,
but you did fear what would happen to those you
loved once it got to you.
Tumblr media
Kagaya ubuyashiki
This took place before the explosion in the final battle era
Your husband's hand is cold in yours. You squeeze his
fingers and watch the moonlight bleed out the color of
his skin into silver.
"Are you well, love?" you ask quietly. A washbowl rests to your side, the cloth draped over the side dripping droplets of water down the floor. You take it and wrangle the water with one hand as best as you can,
laying it atop his forehead after. Kagaya closes his eyes and smiles beatifically. It looks painful.
"I will be fine," he says. A mere whisper; it runs wild in the echoes of the night. "| am certain... After tonight, everything will be fine again." You hum thoughtfully. Your heart turns like a clock,
mechanical, a slave to fate. You dare not tell him anything.
"I wonder. . " Kagaya starts. "How does the sky look tonight, Y/N?"
You looked up at the sky as the clouds moved to reveal the beautiful moon
"it's beautiful..." you said as he leaned into your hand as you caressed his cheeks
"he is here..."
A long shadow blocks the moonlight. You look up.
Plum red eyes stare back.
"It's finally nice to meet you, Kibutsuji Muzan," Kagaya says casually.
A chuckle flits in your ear, honey-thick and suave.
Muzan's jacket rests precariously on his shoulders,
and the wind picks up, as if trying to steal it away. The sleeves whip around him uselessly.
"Well;" he says. "You sure look terrible, Ubuyashiki."
If you do not look too closely, you can still delude
yourself into dreaming that this is a normal family.
Your twins have not stopped playing, and their
laughter mingles with the song.
*after the speech because i cant recall it 💀*
"Kibutsuji" You incline your head, a mockery of respect. "You may have prepared for everything.. But there is one thing you didn't prepared for.."
"and what would that may be?"
"this–" you pulled out teh explosion monitor and jumped on kagaya and just before it explored a room open under kagaya's bed and you both fell into a room underground where your kids were waiting for you to come and there was a secret door which led to outside
But it was quite the fall, but you shielded kagaya's body with yours as you he fell on top of you
"Uhmm... " Kagaya groaned from the pain of the impact but more at the though that you were hurt from the fall and his weight together
"it's okay... It's okay..." you said as you cradled kagaya's fragile body
"i just need you to hold on for me... Can you do that please?"
The explosion was loud on top of you but what was more terrifying was the piece of wood of the selling above you that was about to fall
So you quickly pushed kagaya out of the way just as the piece of wood fell on your lower body completely breaking it
"y/n! " Kagaya yelled as best as he could as he heard your crying of pain
"i am fine! I am fine!" You shouted as you tried to stop the tears from dropping from the pain
"kiriya! Listen! Take your father and run out of here!"
"b–but mo–" "no buts! This piece of seilling completely crushed my lower par! You won't be able to get it out! Even if you did i'd be just a burden! I won't be able to run! No go! Go!"
Kiriya quickly carried his father on his shoulder as best as he could
"no... Y/n... If we die... we die together.. That's a promise..."
"well.. Look like i have a change of plans, sorry love"
You said as you smiled sadly at him even though he can't see it
*time skip*
"CAW! CAW! KIBUTSUJI MUZAN IS DEFEATED! KIBUTSUJI MUZAN IS DEFEATED! THE FINAL BATTLE IS OVER! CAW! CAW!"
Kagaya opened his eyes at the sound of the noisy crow.. And for the first time in years...
He sees the sky clearly as the curse marks started to fade from his body...
He quickly tried to ran into the place where his estate is supposed to be with only one though in mind...
'y/n...'
He opened his eyes clearly for the first time in years and the first face he wanted to look at was yours
"oyakata_sama! Wait! You are not fully recovered yet!"
The kakushi tried to warn him but he just didn't care
He wanted to see you, to touch you, to tell you how much you mean to him even though words cannot describe, to make sure you are alright
But what he saw made him stop and his blood run cold...
The estate.. His home... Your home.. Is now crumbled to pieces with you under all that
he quickly took off and tried to dig into the rubble in hopes maybe.. Just maybe.. You are still alive...
"master..."
The kakushis and the remaining of the hashiras felt thier heart break looking at thier master like this...
Nevertheless, they started to help thier master find his wife.. I mean.. You were like a mother and a big sister to them all...
"I found something!" one of the kakushi shouted as he saw your bloody hand sticking out of the rubble
They quickly ran to where he was and started digging even more, just as they reached your head they all stopped and stepped back for thier master to take a look at you...
"oh my dear..."
Kagaya quietly knelt down where your bloody upper body only was visible
He caressed your bloody
cheek just as you did with him a few hours ago...
Oh how beautiful you looked... Even if you were cold and pale with your lips starting to get blue..
He missed you so much that he almost forgot the way you looked...
You looked even more beautiful than he remembered even with the black circles under your eyes and the few wrinkles that appeared on your face and the grey hairs despite how young you are...
"oh love... How many times did i tell not to worry to much about me..." Kagaya whispered as he caressed your cold skin with a few tears falling from his eyes "like this you will age before time..."
He hugged you one last time before the kakushis free your body completely from the rubble and take you to bury your beautiful body
Today the world won peace.. But he lost his...
2K notes · View notes
tropes-and-tales · 2 months ago
Text
🥰 FINALLY
Tumblr media
(Frankie "Catfish" Morales x F!Reader)
CW:  Angst; talk of addiction; talk of failed relationships. Smut (PiV, unprotected). 18+ only.
Word Count: 6734
AN:  This was originally requested by @elegantmusicdragon, and it's a sequel to this!
Tumblr media
There’s no pretending they don’t know.
Will saw it firsthand.  Pope heard it, then got text confirmation from Will.  Ben slept through all of it, but when he wakes early in the morning, he looks across the loft and sees his brother in the wan pre-dawn light, staring at the ceiling with a haunted look on his face. 
A bit of prodding later, he finds out what he missed while he slept.
You and Fish, fucking.  You and Fish, the two members of the team who squabble and irritate each other the most, who sometimes outright fight and sometimes require someone else—Will, usually—to referee.
You and Fish.  You thought you were quiet, but by morning, everyone knows.
And worse, you and Fish know they know.  After you finished, quiet as you could be, both of your cell phones pinged with a string of incoming messages.  From Pope.
Pope:  👏👏👏👏
Pope:  excellent work you two
Pope:  🍆 💦💦💦💦
Pope:  seriously tho ur both gross
Pope:  but congrats happy for u
You read the messages and felt a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, but when you glanced over at Frankie, he only raked his hand through his hair and muttered, “fuck.”
-----
Breakfast is a surreal affair.  No one says anything at first, so the only sounds are forks and spoons clinking against dishes.  Chewing.  Benny, doing his usual gross early morning phlegm-clearing cough.
Your face burns in embarrassment.  Frankie keeps his eyes fixed on his scrambled eggs, which he only pushes around with the tines of his fork.  You can feel Pope’s eyes on you, Will’s eyes, and the cabin is full of anticipation.
Pope’s the one who breaks it.  He clears his throat, asks in a tone that’s phony-casual, “everyone sleep okay?”
“I didn’t,” Will replies.  “Thought I heard something last night.”
“Outside?”  Again, Pope’s voice is fake, an edge of chipper teasing in it. 
“Sounded like something got into the cabin.”
Pope pulls a thoughtful face.  “Y’know, I think I heard something too.  Kinda like a wounded animal?  Two wounded animals, grunting and moaning—”
Frankie huffs out a heavy sigh, and you slouch lower in your chair.  Benny grins around his mug of coffee and adds, “it is mating season, I think.”
Pope snaps his finger, a eureka sort of gesture.  “That must be it!  We must have come here during mating season and just didn’t realize it.  Wild.  Who knew?”
You chafe at the word mating, which makes it sound like you and Frankie are…well, mates, so you mutter, “it’s just hooking up,” which makes Frankie sigh again, because that launches Pope into a blistering lecture about responsibility and poor choices and Jesus Christ, you two, are you even using protection?  Are you at least being safe, because you sure as shit aren’t being smart?
You mumble a defensive comment that it isn’t his business (though you’re on birth control, you sure as hell aren’t admitting it to the guys—Frankie knows, and that’s all that matters), and then you find the strength to stand up, announce that you’re going for a walk down to the lake, and if they care to speculate further on your reproductive health, they can do so without your presence.
*****
Frankie can’t remember the last time he has been so mortified.
No, scratch that.  He can remember.  It was when he was in the throes of his addiction, and you ambushed him with an intervention.  Now, a full year after that, he sees the love and care that went into it, but at the time, he felt a furious blend of anger and frustration and mortification.
This is like that, albeit less strong…but incredibly fresh.
After you march off—abandoning him, naturally—he lets the guys get their shots in.  He clenches his jaw and fixes his gaze somewhere over Pope’s head, at a pattern of knots in the wood paneling on the wall.  He tries to let their ribbing wash over him, but he takes each comment personally.
And he’s embarrassed.  It would be one thing to be caught with a random woman from, say, a bar or a party.  You, though?  It feels like a weakness, a failure of character, to be caught fucking someone he barely gets along with.  Pathetic, like he can’t do better.  Like he couldn’t find a woman who simpers for him, who is eager to impress him, who is impressed by him.  Like he’s had to settle for someone who rolls her eyes at him, who snarks at him, who doesn't think that highly of him. 
Someone who saw him at his weakest, when he was addicted to coke.  Someone who rolled her eyes and marched in to save the day.
Weak.  Pathetic.
Frankie stews.  The guys wear themselves out, split up.  Benny goes to find you on your march down to the lake.  He says he’ll calm you down, soothe your chagrined soul and smooth you out.  Pope disappears into his room to take a work call, since he has a new contract coming up in a few days.
It leaves Frankie and Will.  Frankie stands up from the table and makes his way out to the front porch, and Will follows.  Frankie heaves himself onto the porch swing, and he sets a rhythm of fast, jerky swinging.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  He swings in time to his pounding heart, the headache forming at the base of his skull.
Will settles on the step and stretches his leg out.  He turns his face to the rising sun, and he’s silent for a long moment.
“You okay?” he finally asks.  There’s no teasing in his voice.  He sounds genuine.
“Great.”  Frankie spits it out, sarcastic.
Will jerks his chin in the direction of the cabin door.  “You know we’re just teasing.”
“Yeah.”
Will hesitates before he asks, “is it really just hooking up?”
Frankie sighs.  “Obviously.”
Another beat of hesitation.  “You don’t have feelings for her?”
That pulls a bitter laugh from Frankie.  “Obviously not.”
“Thing is, it’s not so obvious.”  Will turns his head and fixes Frankie with an appraising look that Frankie doesn’t like.  He meets his eye for a beat, then slides his own gaze away, looks past Will to the clearing where the fire pit is.  That first evening here seems a million years ago, though it was only a couple of days. 
“It’s just that you two make a weird sort of sense,” Will continues.  “You’re so similar—”
“We’re nothing alike.”  Frankie cuts him off tersely.  “We don’t have a damned thing in common other than a shared history.”
“You’re both stubborn.  You’re both strong-willed people, and you both obviously care about each other—”
“No.  Nope.”  He cuts him off again, and all of those bad feelings—mortification being the strongest—bubble up in him.
“I don’t care about her.  Are you kidding?  It was just hooking up.  She was available, and it was convenient, and that’s it.” 
There’s venom behind his words, a force fed by his deep embarrassment to have been caught with you.  It makes his voice carry just enough that you and Ben both hear it as you walk back from the lake.  Will sees you first, makes a noise in the back of his throat as he catches your expression—the hurt there, the pain that Frankie’s words cause—and then Frankie sees you too.
“Hey,” he starts to say, but you wave him off, tell him it’s fine, you’re fine…and in all the years that Frankie has known you, this is the first time you lie to him.
-----
The weekend ends on a sour note.
There’s no fight between you and Frankie, and that hurts the most.  For as much as you bicker, you go silent now.  When you talk to him, you’re flat.  Polite.  Distant.
Pope needs to head back early to get back to Colombia, and you catch a ride with him.
“Got things I need to do,” you say, and everyone knows it’s a lie, but no one knows how to call you out on it.  You’re hurt, Frankie has hurt you and the guys fed into the bad feelings that led to that hurt, and everyone parts in a low mood.
A hundred times Frankie’s finger hovers over your name on his phone.  A hundred times he starts to craft a message in his head, only to toss the phone aside.
A hundred times he struggles to fall asleep because he cannot get your face out of his head.  That look of surprise and hurt, and all his fault because he was an asshole who was embarrassed to be caught hooking up with you.
No, not was an asshole.  Is an asshole.  Because a hundred times he thinks he’ll summon the courage to reach out, but a hundred times, he fails.
-----
He doesn’t see you for six months.  He don’t talk to you directly, and the best he gets is your short, clipped responses in the gang’s group chat.  Even there, you tend to go silent.
He dare not ask one of the guys how you’re doing.  He sees the Miller brothers the most, talks to Pope only sometimes, and maybe there’s a separate group chat because it seems as though the three of them have reached some agreement to never mention you around Frankie.
Six months.  Half a year after the cabin by the lake.  How does Frankie spend his time?  Lonely, mostly.  He goes to work, then goes home.  He goes to meetings once a week, but he rarely has cravings and has less pressure to use.  He started using before because he just had too much going on—work and married life, Pope’s scheming to make them all millionaires, Tom’s death.  Now Frankie has very little.  Just a job.  Just a small apartment where he sits alone on his secondhand couch and eats microwaved leftovers while the TV plays at a low volume.
A hundred times he thinks to call you.  A hundred times he thinks to drive to where you live—one town over, but only a fifteen minute drive.  He could apologize; he could try to understand why you looked so hurt.  Of course he cares for you, deep down, but it isn’t love…or was it?
A hundred times that question floats to the front of his mind, and a hundred times he shoves it down, ignores it, waits for it to recede from his thoughts.
-----
Six months after the cabin by the lake, Frankie sees you again.  Pope is in town for his birthday.  His latest contract has ended, the next one hasn’t begun, and he has a stretch of time to visit and gorge himself on all the things he can’t get overseas.
His birthday is held at Will and Benny’s place.  When Frankie rolls up a solid half hour late, though, Will is outside waiting for him.
“How’s it going?” he asks, and the two exchange their usual handshake into a half-hug.
“Good.  You?”
“Good.”  Will jams his hands in his pockets and fixes Frankie with a curious look.  “She’s in there, you know.”
It says a lot that the she in this case is you and not his ex-wife, who arguably would put the guys more on alert.  How have you managed to reach such a dubious place of honor?
Frankie tries to sound casual.  “Yeah, I figured.”  A beat, and he adds, “don’t worry.  I don’t plan on fighting with her.  It’s Pope’s night.”
Will furrows his brow at that, shakes his head faintly.  “Yeah, I know.  But Frankie, she’s in there with someone else.  Pope’s buddy, remember?”
-----
Fucking Paolo.
Fucking recently-divorced, recently-cheated on, sad piece of shit Paolo.  Pope’s buddy that he tried—and apparently succeeded at—setting you up with at the cabin.
Thing is, the guy isn’t a sad piece of shit.  Or a troll, as Frankie had teased you at the cabin.  The man is handsome; an easy smile and warm eyes.  Hair that looks great but like he didn’t try to make it look great.  Clothing well-fitted and well-made, but not obnoxiously designer.  Good handshake, when Frankie is introduced.  A genuine ‘nice to meet you’ in accented English.
Frankie’s jealousy, as it turns out, is wide and deep and never-ending.
Because for fuck’s sake, you look happy.  Relaxed.  Paolo puts his hand on your lower back and leads you to get fresh drinks.  He slings an arm around your waist as you stand and chat with Pope.  He turns and whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle, and how is Frankie just now learning that you fucking giggle, and that it sounds cute on you, a musical little laugh that makes his stomach turn because he’s never drawn such a sound from you?
And Paolo must smooth out your rough edges because you gift Frankie a little smile and ask how he’s been, and there’s no venom behind the question.  No lingering bad will. 
You’ve moved on, it seems, and it hits Frankie harder than he thought it would.  He ends up leaving after only a few hours, lies and says he’s coming down with something, but he takes one backwards glance at you before he goes. 
You aren’t looking at him at all.  You’re looking—gazing—at fucking Paolo’s handsome fucking face, and Frankie’s first thought is she never looked at me like that.
His second thought is maybe I never gave her a reason to look at me like that.
-----
Frankie sees you once a few months after Pope’s birthday, by accident at the grocery store.  You’re alone and frowning slightly in the produce section, looking at the selection of apples on display.  Paolo is nowhere in sight, but that doesn’t mean anything.
You don’t see Frankie.  He stands by the cut flowers and studies you from under the brim of his hat, and he half-hopes you turn and see him.  He half-hopes you don’t.  He stands by a bucket of cheerful daisies and wonders if Paolo brings you flowers.
He half-hopes the man does, because you deserve flowers.  He half-hopes he doesn’t, because Frankie is jealous and hates the thought that Paolo has only known you for a fraction of time—far less than Frankie has known you—and is still probably that much better for you than Frankie would have been.
Frankie doesn’t know what to do with himself.  His thumb still hovers over your contact information in the still, quiet hours of the night. 
He thinks of the intervention you staged for him.  He had stormed out, furious to be so embarrassed and exposed, and you had followed.
He remembers you stopping him, your hands turning him to face you.  Your hands gripping either side of his face as you stared deep into his eyes and pleaded with him to get his shit together.
It’s as good of advice now as it was then.
-----
A year after the cabin by the lake, and everyone returns to the cabin by the lake. 
Frankie hesitates when Will calls for his confirmation.  Will must guess why, because Will not-so-casually mentions that it’s just the core folks, you and Frankie and Pope and the Millers.  No plus-ones.
“Just us,” Will reminds him.  “To remember Tom.”
So fucking Paolo won’t be there with his nice smile and nice hair and his hand resting lightly on your back, and Frankie agrees to come.
When he arrives, it is just like the year before.  Pope pulls rank and calls dibs on the lone single bedroom.  The Miller brothers scamper up to the loft like children, poking at each other and laughing the whole way.
Which leaves you and Frankie exactly where you were a year ago.  Awkwardly sharing the living room with the lumpy couch and a mattress on the floor.  Frankie glances at you, opens his mouth to say something, but Pope—who tosses his bag into the bedroom, then strides back out—comes up to you and pulls you into a hug that kind of looks like a headlock.
“Sorry to hear about it,” he says, and Frankie is bewildered for a beat before Pope adds, “for the record, I told him he was being fucking stupid.”
His mind guesses that this is about Paolo, but his mouth, which often operates independently of his mind, blurts out, “did you break up?”
You peer out at him from where Pope has you tucked against him, and grumble, “how’d you say it last year?  I’d only disappoint him.”
Frankie sucks in a breath, remembers the shot he took at you.  He shakes his head, ashamed at the memory, but doesn’t say anything.
“No.  No, no, no.”  Pope adjusts his hold, puts you in an actual headlock.  He glances over at Frankie and clarifies, “he got back together with his ex-wife.”
“She was better than me,” you chime in, and it sounds muffled.
“Nope again.  She’s a cheater, and she’ll cheat again, and you’ll be off with someone far better.”  Pope adjusts his hold as you struggle against him, and he adds, “now say something nice about yourself.  No feeling sorry, so say something nice.”
“I’m a good cook.”  It’s muffled again; your face is pressed against Pope’s side where he holds you fast.
“No good.  I mean, you’re a good cook, yes, but you learned that.  It’s not essential to who you are.”
“Pope, c’mon,” you whine.  “Lemme go.”
“Not until you say it.”
Frankie smiles at the exchange, but he puzzles over it too.  He wonders at the relationship you have with Pope, separate from him and the other guys.  He supposes he’s never considered it—he always thought you and he had a separate thing, but never considered how you got on with Pope or Will or Ben independent of him, separate from the broader group. 
But Paolo was Pope’s friend too, and Frankie wonders how much Pope hyped you up to Paolo and vice versa.  And how much Pope has been there for you now that it’s ended, perhaps feeling guilty to have it go sideways on you.
Hence this little game that seems well-established:  Pope holding you in a headlock, forcing you to speak well of yourself.
“I’m…loyal,” you finally concede.
Pope shoots Frankie a grin and replies, “yes, you are.  You’re good as gold.”
But he doesn’t release you quick enough, and you get enough of an arm free to lightly sucker punch him low in the stomach, and Frankie smiles wider because that’s the you he recognizes best—the one who puts up with shit to a certain level, then comes out swinging.
-----
The first night this time is much the same as the last time.  There’s a bonfire, a cooler of beers, laughter.  Loons call across the water to each other, and sparks from the fire drift on the updraft to merge with the stars glimmering above them.
Frankie feels restless.  He fiddles with his bottle of beer, rolls it between his palms, peels the label.  He hasn’t seen you in so long, hasn’t talked to you for even longer, and now you’re sitting across the fire ring from him.  Your face is gilded orange and gold in the flames, and while you laugh with them, you seem a touch sad.  Quieter than usual.
When everyone finally turns in, he offers you the mattress on the floor.  For the first time since you’ve arrived, you pause and look at him.  Actually look at him:  meet his eyes, study his face. 
“The couch is lumpy,” you remind him.  “Your back.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Nah, I’m okay.”  You turn away and shake out the folded blanket, and Frankie despairs at how polite and distant you are now.  His own fault, but he loathes it.  He wishes you’d squabble with him again, pick a fight, tease him until he huffs in frustration.
“Hey, can we talk?” he asks.  He watches you lie down.  You punch at the pillow, turn on your side, then settle and sigh.
“I’d rather not, Fish.”
“I wanted to say I’m sorry—”
You arch an eyebrow at him.  “For Paolo?  You kinda said it would go down the exact way it went down.”
He shakes his head.  “No, but I should have never said that—”
“It’s fine.”
“I meant, I wanted to say I’m sorry for before.”
“Oh.”
“Here, last year.”  He swallows and studies your expression, which gives nothing away.  “I shouldn’t have said what I did.  It was cruel, and—”
“I get it.  I remember.  It’s fine, Fish.  Everything’s fine.”
He wants to add more, but you roll over to face the back of the couch, your back to him.  It occurs a moment later that you’re still lying to him, because you’ve just said everything was fine at least four times in the past five minutes, and he gets the distinct impression that nothing is fine.
-----
The next day, you hike again.  It’s a different route this time, and the summit is different but the view is the same, just a different angle:  placid lake below, brilliant blue sky above, and a picnic lunch spread out on the rock. 
Frankie has done a lot of work on himself.  In the past months, he’s learned to stop thinking of himself as a fixed point.  Life is not a ladder, as he always imagined.  He can change and adapt and not think himself weak for backing up and taking a different route when the first route proves to be a dead end.
Case in point:  you and your occasional balking as you hike down a mountain.  There’s a stretch that is dicey, loose graveled and steep, and sure enough, you falter, then freeze.
Frankie from last year got impatient with you, and left you behind for Benny to rescue.
Frankie from this year recognizes that your fear isn’t a personal failing.  It’s a quirk.  It makes you you, and how he reacts now is what makes him him.  The new and improved Frankie.  Less of an asshole.  Back up, try a new way. 
“Take your time,” he tells you now.  “There’s no rush.”
You don’t seem to hear him.  You’re so used to him being frustrated that you say, plaintive, “just go around, Fish.”
A breath.  New and improved Frankie.  “No, I’ll wait for you.  I’m here.”
You glance at him, and he sees the whites of your eyes:  the fear there.  He regrets that he wasn’t patient with you before.  Another breath, like his therapist taught him.  He feels the regret, then lets it go.  He reminds himself that he can be better now.
Frankie reaches out a hand to you.  “C’mon,” he says.  “I’ve got you.”
Of course you stare at him a long moment like he’s grown two heads.  Like he’s been replaced by some alien double who is kind instead of snappish.
You end up taking his hand, though, and he grips you firmly, takes you step by step out of the perilous stretch of the trail.
-----
Dinner is Pope on steaks, you on pasta and vegetables again.  Benny, who took an internet wine course to impress a girl, pops the corks on a few bottles of middle shelf vintage.  He explains about how it has to breathe, how it has to release the bouquet until Pope steps away from the steaks to smack him upside his head.
New and improved Frankie.  When the dinner conversation touches on your breakup, he murmurs his consolations.  When Pope gives the entire history of Paolo and his volatile ex-wife, he clicks his tongue and shakes his head in disgust.
New and improved Frankie.  He tells you your contributions to the meal are delicious, and he misses the sly look that Will gives to Pope because Frankie is too focused on you.  Your face twists in confusion at his praise, and you reply a beat later with a lilt of questioning, “thank you?”
-----
New and improved Frankie.  He manages to beat you to the living room before bed, and he snags the couch while you’re brushing your teeth.  You stop in your tracks when you see him, and you narrow your eyes.
“Take the mattress tonight,” he says.  He ignores the spring in the couch digging into the left side of his ass.  “Seriously.”
The guys are all already tucked into their own beds, so when you put your hands on your hips and demand to know what the hell is wrong with him, you keep your voice low.
“Nothing wrong with me.”
You don’t buy it, but your scowl softens.  “Frankie, are you using again?”
He laughs.  Of course you’d associate his attempts at niceness with drugs. 
“Not at all.  I’m at about eighteen months clean.”
That replaces your scowl with a smile.  A genuine one.  “Oh, Fish.  Congratulations.”
“It’s thanks to you.”
“Nah.  You’re the one who did the hard work.”
“You’re the one who saw I had a problem.”
“The guys noticed it too.”
“Yeah, but.”  He takes a breath.  “You’re the one who took action.  You probably saved my life.”
You wave him off, and you kneel down on the mattress, then sit cross-legged and look at him.  “You give me too much credit, Fish.”
That makes him shake his head.  “No, I never gave you enough credit.  I was married, remember.  Sophie never noticed, and if she did, she didn’t set up an intervention.  It was all you.”
Something about being so open makes you uncomfortable.  You fold your hands in your lap and look down at them.  “Where is all this coming from?”  Your voice is quiet, and Frankie has to strain to hear you.
“What do you mean?”
A sigh.  “I mean, I don’t want you to be nice because I got dumped.  I hate pity.”
He sits up a bit, props himself on his elbow and watches you.  “It’s not pity.”
“Then why are you being so nice?  We haven’t argued once and it’s been over a day.”  You glance over at him, your hands twisting in your lap restlessly.
He sits up completely and leans forward, his elbows on his knees.  “I hated the way I left things with you before.”  A pause.  “Remember what you told me at my intervention?  You said I had to get my shit together.  I thought, ‘okay, I’m clean now, I have some clean months behind me.  So why am I still so fucking miserable to be with?’”
“Fish, you aren’t miserable to be—”
“I am.”  He cuts you off.  “And I don’t want to be.  I don’t want to be the man who makes you feel like shit because I’m embarrassed we got caught hooking up.  You’re not something to be ashamed of, and I acted like a complete asshole.”
The corner of your mouth twitches in a sardonic smile.  “The guys were being obnoxious.”
“And I should have been obnoxious back.  I could have talked you up.  Talked us up.  Instead of being a dick, I could have said, ‘yeah, we’re hooking up, and it’s amazing, so be jealous about it because you’re all single with no prospects.’”
“We were technically single too.”
He nods, serious.  “Yeah, we were, but maybe we shouldn’t have been.”
That makes you laugh; an honest-to-god belly laugh that has you wrapping your arms around your stomach.  Frankie winces, glances up at the loft where the Miller brothers are theoretically sleeping, then he pushes the worry aside.  Who gives a shit if they hear you laughing with him?
When he doesn’t laugh too, your laughter dies down.  “Wait, you’re not joking?”
“No.”
A long pause with the two of you watching each other.  “…and you’re sure you’re not using?”
“I’m sure.  I had a piss test last week for work.”
“…okay.”
He sighs and holds his hands out to you, palms up.  Entreating.  “I’ve been seeing a therapist.  Yes, it feels like bullshit, but it’s something, you know?  Having a third party to bounce my bad memories against.  My bad feelings.  He’s helped me figure out some stuff.”
You blink at him in sincere surprise.  “I’m proud of you, Fish.”
That makes a warm flush course through him, you being proud of him.  “It’s a cliché, but there’s shit from childhood that really can fuck a person up as an adult, you know?”
“Oh, I know it.  Eldest daughter, right here.  Child of functional alcoholics.”
“I guess I always had this set idea in my head of how life was gonna be, and when it was not that, when it turned out to be something that I constantly had to work out, I didn’t know how to handle that,” he admits.
“I get that too.”  You nod along, and you stop fiddling with your hands.
Frankie takes a deep breath and plunges ahead.  He has to get it out, and he has your attention.
“And, you know, I had set ideas about relationships.  Women.  Marriage.”
The sardonic smile returns.  “Here we go.”
“I was trying to recreate a perfect version of my parents’ marriage,” he admits.  It took some deep work to realize it.  Talking in therapy, dredging up memories he thought he had buried nice and deep.  “I thought if I could do it like them, but better, I would have won.”
“Won what, exactly?” you ask softly.
“Life?  I don’t even know.  It sounds stupid to say it out loud, but I thought it would mean that I had succeeded as an adult.  As a man.  Like people would look at me and be impressed.”
He glances at you, and you nod encouragingly.  He takes another deep breath, and he asks you to just listen to the next part, to not interrupt.  To let him get it all out before you stop listening.
“Okay.”  Another nod, and you settle your hands in your lap again and hold them there.
“So I tried to recreate my parents’ marriage, right?  I found a woman a lot like my mom.  Traditional, stay at home.  Sophie wanted to be taken care of, you know.  She didn’t want to work.  She wanted someone to make the decisions for her on all the big adult stuff.  She wanted to keep house and have kids and be a soccer mom.  Make homemade Halloween costumes and throw elaborate birthday parties for our four or five children, and there was nothing wrong with that.  I thought she’d be better than my mom, an actual mom, you know?  Not someone to get bitter about her missed opportunities and tell her kids how she sacrificed everything for them.  Because that’s what my childhood was like.  My mom always couched everything in what she gave up, like me or my brothers asked to be born.”
He pauses, catches his breath.  You’re watching him, expectant, so he continues.
“And meanwhile, I thought I’d be the best husband.  The best dad.  I had a military career, and they trained me to fly helicopters.  I was so much further ahead than my own dad, who drove a tow truck.  He worked hard all day, then came home to a bitter wife.  The best thing in his life was drinking cheap beer in the garage and hiding from her, and here I was, married to Sophie with a good military job and benefits, and I should have been so happy to be winning.”
“But you weren’t,” you say gently.  It isn’t a question.
He shakes his head.  “No, I wasn’t.  And I didn’t know why.  I started to resent Soph for never making a decision.  Mortgage went up because property taxes went up?  Not her problem.  Roof needed replaced?  I had to figure it out.  Car registration expired while I was overseas, and she got a ticket?  Somehow I had to solve it from the middle of goddamned Afghanistan.  We didn’t even have kids yet, and I was feeling all this pressure to be an adult for both of us.  When I got back home on leave, she tells me that she’s stopped her birth control, and I just…cracked.”
“I get it, Fish.  I mean, not being married, but I get how it feels to expect one thing in your life and have the opposite happen.”
He holds up a palm to remind you to let him get it all out, and you whisper “sorry.  Go ‘head.”
“And then there was you.  The complete opposite of Soph, you know?  You were…are this super independent woman, and whenever we were stuck overseas and Soph was struggling with running a house stateside, you were just there, chirping about what she needed to do.  Like it was nothing.  And I got irritated with you because you are just so damned pulled together and even-keeled and…and easy.  It’s so easy with you, and I hated it because I knew I made the wrong choice after all.  I tried so hard to avoid my parents’ marriage’s pitfalls that I just fell into the same pattern even harder, and you were the one who showed me that.”
He watches to see how his words land.  When you blink at him, he sees a film of tears there, so he plunges forward to get the rest out.
“I didn’t even realize that I loved you.  That’s how fucked in the head I was.  I picked fights with you and told the guys how irritating I thought you were, and you stuck to me anyway.  I could never shake you off.  We mustered out and you saw me drowning in my addiction, and I still told myself that I didn’t like you, didn’t care about you.  I got divorced, and we started hooking up, and I swear to god, sweetheart, hand up to god:  the first time we slept together, it felt like I was finally home, and I still couldn’t admit it to myself.  I kept telling you each time that it was the last time but I kept coming back for more because you feel like home and I loved you, but I fucked it all up because I didn’t understand who I was or what I wanted.”
He stops there, spent.  He feels like he’s been emptied out, and he stares down at his own clenched hands and waits for you to say something.  Anything.
There’s a long, long moment of silence.  He hears the loons on the lake and the wind rustling the trees outside, but you don’t say anything for so long.
Then you breathe out his name, an “oh, Frankie,” and when he looks up, he sees the tears streaming down your face.
“I mean it,” he adds softly.  “I’m sorry, but I mean it.  I love you.  I’ve probably always loved you.  Thinking back, I can’t remember a time I didn’t.  I just didn’t realize it.”
You’re crying openly now, but you’re trying to be quiet.  Frankie doesn’t even think of the guys nearby; he stands up and makes his way to where you sit on the mattress, and he wraps his arm around your shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters against the side of your head, and he has no idea what you’re thinking—if you’re horrified or embarrassed or something else by his admission.  It’s out now, though.  He can’t take it back, and he doesn’t think he would want to take it back anyway.
It takes another long moment of him holding you awkwardly, you trying not to cry too loudly.  But then you give a weak laugh, and whisper hoarsely, “I really thought you were on drugs again.”
“Therapy is sometimes harder than sobriety.”
You pull away a little and stare at him with eyes brilliant with tears.  “Would you have said anything if I were still with Paolo?”
“Maybe.  I might have changed the messaging.  I wouldn’t have wanted to get in the middle of anything.”
You chuck him weakly on his bicep.  “I’ve missed you, you asshole.  And I wasn’t expecting any of this.”
He grins down at you.  “If you feel too out of sorts, we could argue.”
“Yeah?”
“You pointed out that we haven’t argued once yet.”
“Feels weird.”
“It does. Want a big fight or just a little one?”
“Might as well go big.  It’s been so long.”
Frankie chuckles.  He releases you.  He holds his hands up and makes a ‘gimme’ gesture with them.  A ‘give me your best shot’ gesture. 
“C’mon then.  Let’s hear it,” he says.
You smile and swipe at your wet eyes.  “Okay.  You’re a real fucking piece of work, dropping all this heavy shit on me out of nowhere.”
“Maybe you’re a real fucking piece of work to have never guessed.”
A laugh of surprise erupts out of you.  “How in the hell would I ever have guessed that?”
“You notice everything else.  You noticed I was using before.”
“So you dropping a ton of weight and looking like shit from coke is the same as being in love?”
“With you?” he scoffs.  “Absolutely.  Can’t sleep, no appetite, can’t think straight ‘cos of you—”
“Fuck you, Fish,” you say, and then you’re on him, your mouth sliding over his, and it feels just as he said:  you feel just like home.  It stretches out, long and eager, the two of you obviously missing each other and making up for lost time.  Too much lost time.
He breaks the kiss long enough to get you turned and under him, to get your thin cotton shorts down around your ankles, to get his own pajama pants down enough to free his hardening cock.  He bullies himself between your thighs but you spread yourself wide eagerly.  You grasp the back of his neck with one hand, but you reach down with your other hand, take him in hand, and stroke him to his full length.  He touches you between your legs, feels you growing wet and slick for him, and it’s just like home when he kisses you, and it’s just like home when he notches himself against your entrance and then slides into you.
What’s new, though, is how he drops his head so his mouth is near your ear, and he whispers, “god, I love you so fucking much.”
It’s new, too, how you clench down at those words, then turn his head to make him look at you, so he can see your eyes when you whisper back, “I love you too, Frankie.  Always.”
*****
In the past year, Pope has obtained a prescription for medication to help him sleep, so he misses the texts flying in the shadow group chat that is just him and Miller brothers. He only reads them when he wakes up to birdsong outside his window.
Will:  u hearing this?
Will:  Pope.  POPE.
Benny:  Wkae up, asshole.
Will:  u will never guess what’s happening
Benny:  🍆🍑💦
Will:  Fish told her he loved her.
Benny:  bro, wake the fuck up.  This is wild.
Will:  HE SAID HE LOVES HER
Benny:  disgusting but wild
Will:  I think she said it back
It’s five in the morning when Pope wakes up and reads the texts.  He grins, and he wonders if Benny realizes that the peach emoji usually is a stand-in for an ass, which means Benny was implying that you and Fish had anal sex while they all slept nearby, which seems unlikely. 
Pope climbs out of bed quietly to use the bathroom, and it takes him through the living room where you and Frankie are asleep.  Together, he notes.  You’re both fully clothed—thank Christ for small miracles—but you’re together on the mattress on the floor.  Frankie’s arm is over your waist, and your hand lightly circles his wrist.
Fucking gross. 
But also fucking adorable.
Pope uses the bathroom, then tiptoes back to his bed.  He re-reads the texts, then types out his reply to Will and Benny.
Pope:  🥰
Pope:  FINALLY.
509 notes · View notes