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Oh my God I'm such a twilight girlie you write him so good!!! Like I'm a blushing mess here giggling kicking feet the whole nine yards. Also making him thic is such a accurate power move 🤭🤤 one of these days I'd love to hear all your thoughts on the different 🍆 sizes for the links I just know it'd be glorious until then I shall devour all your writing repeatedly while imagining hot blondes (your four rut one is my absolute favorite I must confess)
Anon you flatter me!!
Hyrule: 4.9 inches. Now, before you come at me in the comments for making our fairy prince smaller than Four, hear me out: like I've said before, and continue to say, penis size is heavily affected by both genes and external factors, and even a slight discrepancy in either one can had mixed outcomes. 'But Fyre, we came here for sin, not a biology lesson!!', some of you may gripe, but I promise there's method to this madness. Ever since starting his first adventure at the ripe age of 9 or 10, Hyrule has been on constant alert because of 1) the literal cult trying to steal his blood to reincarnate a giant pig man and 2) the fact that his world is quite literally a wasteland with minimal food/tainted water/and all sorts of other nasty things. I can't even imagine the stress he was under during those frankly crucial developmental years, so it's highly likely that his body just... didn't fully develop due to a combination of him not getting enough to eat/drink and being on the run for most of his life (i.e lots of stress + probably a horrific sleep schedule). Moreover, both of these factors are what's known as endocrine disruptors, which can heavily affect mental and physical growth.
But now onto the dick-cannons: while he may not be the largest or thickest, I like to think Hyrule has a pretty good handle on what he's doing regardless*. Definitely not circumcised, considering his background (someone please tell him how to wash).
*(I once saw a headcannon that Hyrule probably used sex as a form of payment when things got tough, which I think is very underrated and absolutely true.)
Four: 5.5 inches. So I DEFINITELY did too much research on Four's, but I think y'all need to hear this. While I love the headcannon about Four's dick being 4 inches because his name is quite literally 'Four', I'm not sure anyone has tried to tackle this conundrum with his heritage in mind. Typically, penis size is influenced by parental genes, the person's own unique genes, and a combination of other external factors. For Four, we know for certain that he has Hylian parents, BUT he's also part Minish because of the events of Minish Cap. The Minish are typically described as anthropomorphic mouse people, so we can comfortably use mice as the basis for this genetic addition. Now, mice typically have a penis size of 10% of their body length (tip of nose to base of tail), which would concurrently put Four at 0.458333333 in feet, or 5.5 inches.
Dick-canons: probably circumcised. He's got the vibe of being pretty unassuming, but then he whips it out and everything suddenly makes sense. Balls* are on the bigger side (BREED), but no one's complaining.
*(Have you seen mice balls?? They're fucking [tee hee] massive. View at your own risk, but I couldn't have stopped the idea of Four like this if I tried. Yes yes I know this is a rat, but close enough!)
Wild: 5.6 inches. This one was probably the most difficult, because Wild's just... an average guy*. He doesn't have any non-Hylian transformations or crazy evolution history under his belt (tee tee), so all that really leaves is his height–which isn't a truly reliable measure of penile length, BUT we take what we can get in this blog–and background. It's somewhat implied that his father was a knight/someone who worked for the kingdom, which means he and Warriors were likely raised in very similar situations, though Wild's likely was a bit more stressful. For one, he pulled the Master Sword from its pedestal at the ripe old age of 12, and was immediately shipped off to guard Princess Zelda while she attempted to awaken her powers. While not as extreme as Hyrule's backstory, this is still a great deal of pressure for a child who arguably had a very peaceful life before finding the Master Sword, but I don't think he suffered any developmental conditions; even with the stress of finding out you're the Hero of Hyrule before you even finish puberty, it's reasonable to assume that Wild was physically cared for by the royal family, if only for the fact that his destiny was to defeat Ganon. Not just that, but there's the whole other issue of being stuck in a shrine for 100 years after dying; I'm no doctor, but that doesn't sound like favorable conditions for anyone. Obviously, the shrine heals him, but is that all it does? It's a well-known fact that water isn't good for skin**, especially considering he laid in it without moving for a century, so it's hard to imagine how his dick looked after the bath to end all baths.
Dick-canons: it glows– assuming he actually does have a penis, it's fairly average looking. Probably circumcised for military/cleanliness reasons, but he does have a very lovely vein running up the side of the shaft that always looks like it's about to pulse out of his dick. He should probably get that check out. Average sized balls, maybe a bit on the small side due to 100 years of cold water exposure.
*(I'm just going to come out and say this: all the Links are, at their core, average guys. Twilight was a goat herder. Time may or may not have been birthed by a tree and raised by tree people. Hyrule is just a simple traveler. Wind wasn't even chosen, he just wanted to save his sister. That's why they're so likable... they're not born special, or heroic, or anything. They're just dudes. Regular, selfless, boring, amazing dudes. Anyways enjoy the rest of my insanity.)
**(Is it wrinkly? Dried up? Completely and totally detached?? Laying in water for even a few days can cause severe medical complications, such as open sores, loss of skin elasticity, bacterial and fungal infections, and tissue decomposition. Cold water can temporarily slow the effects of decomposition because of adipocere formation, which is a phenomenon in which a waxy substance forms over the skin as a byproduct of fat decomposition, but not for 100 years. By this logic, Wild shouldn't be on this list because he shouldn't have a dick.)
Legend: 6 inches. Y'all already know where this is going. Unlike his successor, Legend didn't begin his first adventure until the age of 12, and lived a fairly stable life before hand thanks to his Uncle. This means that there likely wouldn't be too many developmental factors to worry about in determining the dick-cannons, so now we must turn to his rabbit-ifying encounter from his first adventure. I'm going to use the eastern cottontail rabbit (Sylvilagus floridanus) for this example because they're one of the most widely studied/available rabbit species. Now, cottontails typically reach 14-19 inches in length, but I'm going to go with 20 inches for Legend because he is CHONK, and also 20 is a lot easier to do math with. Keeping this in mind, WikiVet has informed me that rabbit penises can range from 20 to 45 mm in length. I'm going with 45 mm (4.5 inches) because he's a big boy and I also want him to have a big dick, so, when paired with the 20 inch body length, you'll find that approximately 8.86% of a rabbit's length is dick. Now that we know dick-to-body ratio, all that needs to be done is put that against Legend's height of 5'6", which leaves us with 5.8476 inches, but I added an extra 2 in to account for the fact that he is also hylian. It just feels right.
Dick-canons: Definitely a good choice if you're not sure what you want; bunny boy has many talents. Definitely has some breeder balls*, and I firmly believe he's curved just right for maximum pleasure. Probably circumcised because of his uncle, but he's secretly glad because it means he doesn't have to clean it like he would if he wasn't.
*(Yup, we're doing this again. Scientifically, rabbits have some of the highest sex drives of any animal, and are capable of breeding six hours after giving birth [WTF], which means this absolutely applies to Legend. He is never not down for a fuck.)
Sky: 6.3 inches. Prepare yourself because this one is very speculative. So, Sky was born on Skyloft, a set of islands in the sky. He was trained as a knight for most of his life and had a generally very peaceful life, so no endocrine disruptors or developmental discrepancies to worry about. Moreover, we know he started his journey at seventeen, which means he's at the tail-end of development. Now, instead of turning to some type of animal encounter, I'll turn to his Hylian heritage to answer this conundrum. I doubt there's anything out there with Skyloft's exact elevation, but it does appear to be a decent few thousand feet above the cloud barrier, which I've discovered are most likely altocumulus clouds, which typically form at an elevation between 6,000 to 20,000 feet. To calculate this, I watched a Skyward Sword gameplay video and determined that, in-game, it takes approximately 1:02.87 to reach the surface, and, assuming Sky/Link, is going at terminal velocity (the fastest an object can go while in motion, which happens to be 120 mph for belly-to-earth skydiving), this would put Skyloft at a roughly 7,544.4 foot elevation, which aligns with the altocumulus cloud prediction. There are only so many places on Earth that match such a high elevation, but I'm going to choose the Himalayas (which are inhabited by the Tibetan people, which are already known to have more capillaries and a more specialized hemoglobin function due to living in higher altitudes) as our comparer-region. Using this information, we can safely assume that Skyloftians, though fictional, who evolved in a very similar environment, may exhibit some similar traits to the modern-day Tibetan people.
While researching, I also discovered an incredibly interesting phenomenon called "airplane boners", which is a scientific occurrence where changes in pressure can cause erections (i.e. flying on a place), and decided that this would be perfect fuel for my scholarly degeneracy, which leads me to my next point: Sky has a big dick as an evolutionary response to what is colloquially known as the 'airplane boner'. Not convinced? Let me explain. When a penis is erect, arteries in the pelvic/penile region dilate to allow for greater blood flow, which thus increases the size of the penis itself. Now, imagine being at a high elevation for your whole life, surrounded by people whose ancestors have never lived anywhere else. I firmly believe that Skyloftians are well-endowed as an evolutionary response that allows the sustainment of larger blood vessels as a sort-of defense against high air pressure. Natural selection favors these traits because they ultimately lead to reproduction, which is the single-most important characteristic of evolution. 6.3 inches was a bit of an educated guess, but I believe that because the people of Skyloft evolved in a closed high-altitude ecosystem, it's entirely reasonable for Sky to be THICC because his body has a adapted to handle a greater hemoglobin factor and increased vascular capacity, likely in the penile region.
Dick-canons: due to the blood-vessel evolution, Sky's dick is likely thicker than average, with some very visible veins running up the sides; so many that it likely makes his dick appear incredibly flushed when erect. Contrary to what some of you may think, I don't think he has large balls, because it is likely more advantageous to have a smaller scrotum to combat the elements/conserve heat. So no breeder balls for him, but that doesn't mean he can't breed you just as good ;)
Twilight: 6.8 inches. I feel like this goes without saying, but he's a country boy. He's hung. Twilight grew up in Ordon, a close-knit community where everyone takes care of everyone, which means he most definitely had a very good childhood. Like some of the others, I see no reason to bring up developmental challenges due to being chased by a cult or some similar bullshit, so we're going to skip right to his transformation of a wolf at the beginning of his journey. Contrary to Legend and Four, I do not believe that this transformation affected him significantly in terms of penis appearance/size. Twilight was 17 when his adventure began, which means he already is at the end of physical development from a biological standpoint, and, in Linked Universe, his tattoos appear to be the only true physical mark on his hylian body, so it's safe to assume that we don't need to take this into consideration. Now, some of you may say: "Fyre, but your theories were so crazy for the other ones and now you're saying Twilight's hung because he's country??" Yes. Yes, I am saying that.
BUT.
There's a pretty solid theory running around that Twilight is a very small part Gerudo, due to Talon (Malon's father) having married/banged a Gerudo woman in secret. In LOZ, it's fairly obvious that the Gerudo are supposed to emulate modern-day Middle Eastern culture, which a study by the National Institute of Health states have an average penis length of 14.34, or 5.6 inches. Obviously, this is nowhere near 6.8, but this is also a race of mythical female warriors, so everything's a little skewed. However, in every iteration we see of the Gerudo, they're always tall, somewhat aggressive, and visibly muscled, which are all indicators of above-average levels of testosterone. This is highly important because, in addition to being required to build muscle mass, testosterone is heavily responsible for penis growth during puberty, meaning that Twilight could very well be the way he is because of this naturally-increased testosterone production (i.e why he's so visibly muscled compared to the other Links), plus an assumed more efficient vascular system due to his heritage. Adding on to this, Twilight likely already has booming levels of testosterone due to his very physical, very labor-intensive occupation as a rancher, plus the fact that he's in the prime of his life. In short, he's doing everything right: he eats well, works out, and has fairly decent emotional and mental health, all of which can be correlated with optimal penile development.
Dick-canons: Breeder balls to the MAX. All that extra testosterone has got to go somewhere, and it ain't his head. Fairly girthy, so prep is a necessity. Has one big vein right under the head that honest-to-god throbs when he's turned-on. Probably not circumcised because Ordon is fairly closed-off and I can't see them as being sticklers for that.
Warriors: 7 inches. While height isn't directly correlated with dick size, it is reasonable to assume that Warriors would be a bit higher on the list because of this, as well as his overall health in comparison to Hyrule and/or Legend. It's hinted that Warriors was raised in a very military-esque lifestyle, so it's not a surprise that he wouldn't have any true developmental setbacks in terns of penile length. Now, that doesn't mean we can't analyze the reasons why he's like this. Being raised in a militant environment means he was fed appropriately, participated in training regularly, and was likely taught stress-regulation habits (does he use them? no, but at least he knew them during his developmental years). Like Twilight, increased muscle mass is typically linked to elevated testosterone levels, and since Warriors has been training his whole life, it's reasonable to assume that these factors had a positive impact on his penile development. He and Twilight are very similar in this regard, except Twilight's size comes a bit more from favorable, wack genetics, though they both make sure to take care of themselves. However, Warriors is shown to be somewhat vain in Linked Universe canon (to the point that the other heroes have a running joke on it), which means it shouldn't be put past him to try more... under-the-table methods to ensue his 'perfection' reaches all aspects of his body, dick absolutely included. I'll leave it up to y'all on whether it's actual herbal/medical enhancements or sheer force of arrogance, but it's still a fun thought!
Dick-canons: Definitely circumcised (if not, definitely obsessed over keeping that shit squeaky clean). He's not as girthy as Twilight or Sky, but it'll definitely feel like he is from the way he wields it* during the deed. Doesn't have the biggest balls, but they'll definitely smack against any ass he can get his hands on.
*(There's a lot of speculation on whether Warriors is a manwhore or not, but I believe he's got experience. Definitely not in relationships, but one-night stands? Tavern hook-ups? He's done more of those than he's [un]willing to admit, but when it's someone he honestly, truly cares about? Slap a blush on him and call him a virgin, because he sure acts like it!)
Time: 7.3 inches. I saved the best for last. I want to preface this by saying that Time is HUGE, so obvious he's got to have a bitchbreaker in those britches, right? Right? Not exactly, because the version of Time we see in Linked Universe is the 'second' version; the one who got sent back in time by Zelda for Majora's Mask. This is HUGELY relevant because, honestly? Time likely took terrible care of himself over the course of Ocarina of Time, or at least somewhat neglected his needs in favor of completing his quest. Then, when he was sent back to being 12 years old in a new timeline by Zelda (Majora's Mask), you cannot convince me that he didn't have a major epiphany on how to actually take care of himself now that he was literally given another chance to get it right. He still trains, hard, but also knows his limits and, for the first time in his new life, he actually makes a point to start eating vegetables and drinking milk*, which give him all the essential nutrients to bridge the gap between surviving and living, especially during these crucial developmental years. Time genuinely makes an attempt to try. For himself, this time. And it pays off in the form of that fat-ass cock ;)
Dick-canons: a true bitchbreaker that will rail you six ways to Sunday. Not circumcised (bro was basically birthed by a tree), and definitely has breeder balls; he basically acts like he's in rut, and Twilight's got to get that trait from somewhere. Probably pretty veiny, like his hands (HNNNN), with just the slightest curve that'll have him hitting all the right spots.
*(Lon Lon milk all the way, my good readers.)
And, of course, I had to consult google:
#I read a science daily article for this#flaming asks#lu headcanons#Lu artists on Tumblr HEAR MY CALL#only LU can make me do math#linked universe#“7 is tablet” I CAN'T BAHAHAHHAHAH#I did the wolf-Hylian math for Twi and I got 5.4 inches#Nope#We make Twilight hung here#Scholarly degeneracy at it's finest#link x reader#loz headcanons#lu wild#lu hyrule#lu sky#lu four#lu legend#lu time#lu twilight#lu warriors#legend of zelda#tw: eye trauma#This blog supports Four's balls#Literally
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Your intro post says that your transformers dr is a combination with jurassic park/world and that sounds super cool! Idk if you’ve explained it before but can you tell me how that works and what it’s like?
YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY I WOULD LOVE TO! (prepare for the yap fest, I'm sorry but also not sorry).
It all starts with the greatest man to exist: my dad (aka my hero)
Dr. Alan Grant (and his stupid hat)
This background is common in my DRs and that's because of how connected I am to my father that it tends to manifest itself in my DRs.
Most of how I script is through what I call "core memories." I think on Tumblr they are more commonly referred to as "downloads?" If I'm not mistaken. So that is how I know most of this.
There is a long and complicated story as to how my Dad became a single father, but long story short: the surrogate (my mother) is not the best person.
(me and @moonsdrs commonly refer to him as Lord Mother, because he's the best mother to exist)
Growing up with a Paleontologist for a father, I was homeschooled and spent a whole lot of time on site with him, or bothering other personnel (how I learned Spanish).
I was pretty smart and learned things fast which is another reason I was so smart because I just kept learning. Me and Dad lived in a trailer bc of cost and location. And when I was about 9 years old he received an offer to save the dig site, and our family. So he went to Jurassic Park. Childcare, however, is hard to come by, so I came with.
I survived the events of Jurassic Park. Made it out alive but with a nasty scar on my leg and a particularly stubborn undiscovered infection.
My Dad always knew about my powers, but he was so nervous about the idea of me being tested on that he made me keep it secret. I have a vivid memory of being under the crushed car and I'm about to use my powers to lift it off me and Tim. I look to Dad and he shakes his head at me with the most serious look on his face.
One connection to Transformers is my cousin Sam.
Sam's father is my surrogate's (bio mother) brother. He was appalled by what she did and given they had a son my age, which influenced them to create a bond. Sam and I spent so much time together that we became nearly inseparable (we have a habit of holding hands in dangerous situations). It was important to both my Uncle Ron and my father that we have a relationship.
Years later, (a few years after an incredibly traumatic situation), my Dad and I got roped into going to Isla Sorna. Where I got another nasty scar, this time on my chest. Shortly after my father "died" (listen it's a whole complicated ass story that I still don't fully understand).
I moved in with my Uncle Ron and Sam. When I was 20, the first Transformers movie took place.
Here's where Jurassic World comes in (I'm sorry, I am such a yapper). After meeting Will and going on a few dates, he inspired me to follow my true passion in life: following in my father's footsteps. But not exactly like him. I got a degree in Paleontological Animal Behaviors and became a registered Animal Behaviorist. Eventually, I joined a program in the Navy called "LS-9." They were looking to research how sharks could be beneficial for the military. We were successful.
I wind up getting a job offer email about "Jurassic World" (this is about 4 years later, 3 years after the events of TF2). I blow it off thinking it's spam mail, yk? Who in the hell would think it's a good idea to make another park, let alone try and train raptors. That's ridiculous, even though it would be a scientific breakthrough, and I'd be continuing my father's legacy and mine, but no. It's not real.
After a really bad fight with Will, I talked on the phone with my best friend Owen (we met in the Navy) just to get some relief. I mentioned the spam email and he told me he got a similar one, that he did some research, and that he was positive it was real. I was shocked, to say the least. I contacted them just to see and they basically offered me the job (my reputation proceeds me). The downside? I'd have to live on the island for the duration of the contract. Even though Will and I were in a really rough spot, I didn't want to just leave him, but he told me that I needed to do it as it was my dream.
I wound up there, doing the research. About a year later the company InGen hired an outside military contractor to assess the viability of the program in the military forces. It was Will. That's when the events of Jurassic World occurred. We all made it out okay including my nephew, who did not shut up about the scary dinosaur for years.
3 years later Fallen Kingdom happened, and that's where I met my daughter.
I love this girl so much, Will calls her my "mini-me" because she looks, acts, and talks like me. She is a great big sister, and the toughest and smartest girl to ever exist. She's also an animal lover (like her mom) and spends a lot of time at the rescue farm.
#shiftblr#desired reality#shifting antis dni#shifting script#shifting motivation#transformers dr#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting#reality shifter#shifters#shifting realities#shifting blog#shifting tips#reality shift
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[Silver adjusts Vern slightly as he approaches the door, blinking a few moments at the reintroduction of light with a momentary twitch of his ears.]
Ah- uh..
[he’s quiet for now.]
Pam? Where are the um... mandrake leaves?
(Oh, uh... I think the last of them were used when you were sleeping that illness off the other day)
I'll umm.. go see about getting some extra from the alchemy lab. Remember to um... quite it down next time
(Okay! Take your lunch, too!)
*Vern nods as he leaves the infirmary. He's behind on several tasks today, so perhaps he will stop by Sam's or see if he can grab something light to go in the cafeteria. The sun is warm and welcoming today.*
*his phone rings a familiar tone. Vern's stomach drops as he takes a breath before answering*
Hello...
Hey, Sweetheart. A little birdie came back.. anything you want to tell me?
*Vern visibly pales, unable to make a sound*
Mmm... there will be a meeting tomorrow, mandatory for founders. I'll see you there.
*Vern's stomach churns, even as the call is ended. He... will need some more magic stored up. Taking an unsteady breath, he quickly types, deletes, retypes, and sends a text to Silver*
Text: "Aster... something came up and I won't be around campus tonight or tomorrow"
*it's vague, but he hopes it won't worry Silver too much... Skipping lunch, he sends a crocus back to Pam with some spare mandrake leaves, and hurries of to go pack a few things. He'll have to take Koa*
@aurora-retainer-silver
#<- ooc// fluff is good!!#ooc// i swear cliff will be nice; he's just a little old man#okay good good#<- ooc// vern probably: okay; i'm not wearing heels#deal. -silver most likely#<- ooc// yaaayyyy!!!!#... i do have an entire note on weddings in vern's hometown from a private rp where someone kept asking cliff about his wedding day lol#we love that tho!#also will be researching fae shit for this
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i know i just got here, but seeing all of the laughably bad takes from both sides of the spectrum is convincing me that no, i don’t actually need to be on social media again.
#this is about mdzs fandom discourse#this is a jc/jiggy support blog#but#they did bad things and made bad choices and i love that about them#i can acknowledge their bad choices and their flaws and still like them#but hooooooly fuck#the jc/jiggy/XICHEN antis drive me fucking banana nut bonkers#there are valid reasons to dislike all 3 of those characters and somehow you have created ones that are so far from reality i cannot believe#that we read the same book#or watched the same shows#1. get some reading comprehension i beg you#2. for the love of fucking god please like. find some god damn joy in your lives and stop giving a fuck about characters you don’t like#2.5 and people who like characters you don’t like#2.75 and i know that’s kind of blasse of me to say in the tags of a post griping abt people griping abt characters they don’t like#3. just??? go find joy? touch grass?? not everything is about you and your terrible reading comprehension#4. stop assuming that your way is the right way#5. the puritanical bullshit of protagonist inherently good is really getting old#i am begging you to do any modicum of research into the concept of antiheroes#it will broaden your horizons i prommy#not everything is about blorbos being all good all the time#your blorbo is not free of sin#(unless it’s sizhui. sizhui is always free of sin)#anyway i think imma delete tumblr. the algorithm keeps showing me anti posts and im old and tired#no discourse here pls and thanks#moots dm for discord if u wanna
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the structure in mac and dennis break up
this is gonna be a short post tbh, I just rewatched the episode and I have a couple of thoughts.
if you need a refresher on what I think the structure is in general, I talk about it here.
I think Mac and Dennis Break Up shows us an example of Mac and Dennis (and Charlie and Frank) working properly in regards to the structure, let me explain why:
First... I don't think there's a need for me to describe the plot of the episode, we all know.
What I want to focus on, is that at one point Mac moves in with Frank and Charlie, and starts bringing his way of life to them.
At first, Frank is thrilled.
"I could use a little structure in my life here." he says.
This reminds me of dialogue from Carries a Corpse.
"Nobody admit this to Mac, but... I feel like he was carrying a ton of weight."
"That would be another one of his annoying identities... the man who could carry stuff."
He's been shown carrying Dennis, on top of generally being inclined to micromanage, take care of others so they're safe, and make decisions or at least demand to be consulted in them (like which movie to watch on movie night).
That's when Mac works best, so I assume that Mac generally brings structure (or is a man of action, as he describes it).
Later on, we see Mac take this too far, and Frank doesn't like it anymore. To me, this is because what this episode tells us is that Charlie and Frank don't work well with a set structure, the way that Mac provides. They're more free.
I think this reading is important because it shows me why The Gang Gets Romantic fundamentally fails in its objective (not as an episode god forbid, I mean in the narrative, especially for Mac and Dennis).
It applies the romcom structure to Charlie and Frank, while it doesn't to Mac and Dennis, when it should be the opposite. Throughout the episode we see that Mac and Dennis keep fitting the tropes to the romcom structure, but they refuse to follow it, and thus it crumbles. It can't work.
Here's another thing.
Dennis' back broke in the S15 finale.
That is funny, yes, but what does this mean when I say that Mac is the (his) structure, then?
Well... Carries a Corpse implies that Mac was carrying most of the weight of the corpse, and the corpse is meant to be the show... and most show meta is basically the same as Dennis meta (most meta lines seem to relate to him, whether the fact he left for north dakota and came back, or the fact he's a dad, being between life and death, breaking his back aka the structure, and so on), as I have discussed better in my other post.
Point being, Mac carries Dennis. That's what he's meant to do, and what he does best in their relationship.
This makes me think of another recent scene that I think is emblematic of their dynamic... but in an interesting way.
So, in 2020: a Year in Review, Mac and Dennis work together on a song.
They seem to be in harmony, but eventually start disagreeing and stop altogether to focus on something else. Why?
Because Dennis is working on the backup vocals, and Mac is working on the words. Which means their roles are reversed. Mac is supposed to be carrying the song, like the wind beneath his wings that he is, and Dennis, like the man of words that he is, should be responsible for the lyrics. They're doing each other's job, which means any harmony they reach is still bound to crack a bit the moment the song doesn't work for them.
Their seating position on their sofa reflects this.
Compare it to Mac and Dennis Break Up, which is supposed to be our ideal.
They're in each other's places, in 2020.
This isn't new, they've been sitting in each other's places ever since Break Up. Mac was sitting in Dennis' place in MFHP, Dennis was sitting in Mac's place in Gets Romantic.
So tl;dr... Mac and Dennis work well under structure, when Mac is the one to bring it and carry Dennis. They fit a proper couple structure after all. Charlie and Frank don't work as well under structure, since their relationship is more unique and doesn't quite abide by normal rules because of that.
This does bring me to one last consideration though...
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8e7fe67868597e5caef957fb94aa0e5e/692900d06a5d482d-b5/s540x810/b6c71e50cc9efc3c343bf44f3f3de777bb3e0170.jpg)
They're back in their right spots, in season 16! Only problem is... couch is different. I would argue an inflatable couch doesn't offer the same amount of support (structure) that a normal one would...
Now that Dennis' structural essence broke, is he gonna feel what it's like when Mac is absent?
Perhaps this is why in Cursed we get Mac as the lucky one while the others as so unlucky they start to believe they're cursed (according to the synopsis...).
So the whole gang needs Mac?
Well...
In Goes To Hell pt2, when they build the human pyramid, it's both Mac and Dennis that end up at the bottom, as its structure.
So maybe... Dennis needs Mac as his structure, and the gang needs them to be in sync so they can both, together, support them (or shut the hell up about it, as both madbu and s15 would argue). Maybe this realization could be what brings the gang to work together in order to get them together. But that's getting into just speculation so imma end it here.
I like these thoughts though... Mac and Dennis being the foundation, the structure of the whole thing :)
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#s16 spoilers#always sunny#macdennis#macden#analysis#meta#this is as good as ''mac is the rat dennis is the cheese and together they're the trap of macdennis''#i do love building meta off of other meta that i pre-established... makes me feel like im citing my own research papers#if this only makes sense to me im so sorry my bad. it will happen again#this was born as a twitter thread while i rewatched madbu and things started making a bit too much sense so i had to write about it#i think if by the end of inflates they go back to their normal couch thats like golden sign that macden is going canon#cuz they maybe start experimenting different couches and none of them work for them. so they start blowing them all up#you know. like the stew!!! throwing it in the face instead of eating. using it wrong to get a thrill.#but by the end theyre like... no actually. our old one worked the best. for us. it worked. it supported us right#not flimsy like an inflatable couch is#so mark my words. if by the end of inflates we see macden sitting AT THEIR RIGHT SPOTS with THE RIGHT COUCH mirroring madbu...#then macdennis is gonna happen. period#dennis is gonna figure out that mac is his structure and theyre gonna go back. together. at the BOTTOM of the gang pyramid#getting pissed on together<3 like meerkats#dennis ''i aint goin down'' reynolds when hes destined to be part of the structural support and thus has to go down and stay down#dedicating this post to parker and joe they'll know what i mean#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonalds
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When did the latest 1,000 of you follow me??? good lord hi and welcome, I should maybe pay attention to my notifications and activity page more 😭
#I’m not sure if you showed up about fanfiction or from one of my brief hyperfixations or from the cult post or from Star Trek or batfam#but hi welcome hello!#it’s just this! it’s just this. all the time. I bounce interests and recycle old ones#and share way too much personal life on this blog#especially in post tags#and i really love talking with people but most of the time my brain treats messages and asks and emails and texts#as if they are a deadly danger#so I WILL take up to 7 years to respond#but please know it haunts me every day#and I will get to it eventually#even if it’s long after you unfollowed me potentially#anyway. in this house we stan fairness and authenticity and compassion towards both others and self#and we are a pro skepticism and pro sourced-information and pro scientific research around here#AND obsessed with experiencing existence through the realm of story#I hope you enjoy your time here! you can always stick around and I’m happy to see you#but absolutely unfollow me at any time! curate your online experience! it should be good for you#when I or my blog no longer spark joy#please unfollow. I literally do not care. your experience is supposed to be nice for you#take what serves you and leave the rest.#this is just tumblr. you have a whole life#I’ll never be mad#👍#2024#this is a lot of followers. like not five digits a lot but INCOMPREHENSIBLE numbers to ME regardless lol#thanks for following whatever your reason was#personal
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Right??! I love some Shaw drama 😂
And honestly, if you do get the books, get the eBook version and use the search for what you want to find because they're looong lol (unless you really want to read them and Colter's current case 😅). I mostly used them for research, but I got really hooked on some parts then 😂 I did read the third in its entirety. I'm really curious where the show is going because in the books, their mom is a lot nicer and less sus loll ➡️ But if you ever wanna know something specific, ask away 😉
Ahh so him wanting to solve his father's murder is what drove him to distance himself from his wife and kids, in order to help him reconcile with Colter. It does make sense, even if it is heartbreaking.
My headcanon was that Russell naturally would have some childhood trauma and would've probably realized more what was going on than his younger siblings (sorta like Dean lol). But my thought was that having kids would probably trigger some subconscious fears, and due to the paranoia he experiences through his job, he seems like someone who would've worried a lot he'd become like his father, so reconnecting with his siblings was a way to close those old wounds and finally move on. No idea if that makes sense, but here we are 😂
Solving the murder was more a means to end for him because he assumed Colter wouldn't believe him without evidence. But you can tell Russell is still a bit in denial about some things and clearly thinks it's better to just leave it be. Luckily, reader and Colter won't let him lol
I was literally just wondering about how he views his mom in all of this. She literally let Colter believe Russell had something to do with Ashton's fall, and then basically told him to get gone. What kind of mother does that? She seems very suss in all of this.
Like I said above, I'm extremely curious what the show is doing because they give us these crumbs that don't match the books 👀
LMAO. I don't know who Manny is, but I already love him! 😂
Manny is the best and sweetest character in all of this. He jumped straight from the prequel to say hi 😂
LOL God, Russell isn't good at this, is he? It's tough to say which one of the Shaw boys got more childhood related trauma affecting their ability to communicate, let alone be emotionally available. 😭
Oh, he really isn't 😆 And I do think Russell is more socially awkward but craves company/family, whereas Colter is smoother talking to people but prefers to be alone lol
Oh my God, Russ… I wasn't expecting you to take it there, but it's an understandable consequence of his PSTD, especially for him as a soldier. It also explains why she picked up Lewis and left him to pull himself together.
I thought a long time about it, but I figured he would at least have some mild PTSD, and (in this story lol) it amplified the childhood trauma. I figured that would make sense for him. And reader packing the kids and leaving was supposed to mirror his childhood and own mother a little. I think in the end, Russell even admired her (and loved her more) for leaving because she put the kids first, and he probably wished his mother had done the same 🥲💔
Ooh again with those lies of omission...
Oh, it never stops with him 😂
But I'm glad Colter and Russell are getting just as much of an honest heart-to-heart as Russ and the reader did. 💜
Aww, glad you enjoyed that! I so wanted to give them a real and honest conversation since the show still hasn't really done that. *sighs* hooray for fanfics! 😂🩵
The Exit Strategy – Part 4
Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader
Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness
Word Count: 6.5k
A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍
**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷♀️
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Part 4: This Is Not an Exit
“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.
“Haven’t you?”
“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”
Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”
“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.
“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”
“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”
“But?”
You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”
His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”
“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”
Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.
“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”
“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.
“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.
“Look, if that’s what you want–”
“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”
You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”
Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.
“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.
Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”
“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”
“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”
Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.
Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”
“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”
“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”
“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.
Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”
“You haven’t told him what we found out?”
Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”
Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”
“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”
You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”
“By being persistent?”
“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”
He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”
“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”
“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”
“What about your mother?”
Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”
You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”
“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.
“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”
Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”
“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”
“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”
You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”
“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”
“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”
Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”
“Didn’t you, though?”
Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”
Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”
Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”
“That motherfucker…”
Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”
The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.
Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.
“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.
“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.
“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.
His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”
“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.
“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.
“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”
“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.
“What did he say when he called you?”
“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.
You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”
“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”
“I tried to help,” you said softly.
“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.
“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”
“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”
“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”
“I already know where this is going…”
“Russ, please, just–”
Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”
Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”
“How was the lasagna?”
After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.
“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”
Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”
“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.
“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.
That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.
“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”
“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.
“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”
You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”
Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.
But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”
“Shit!”
Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.
“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.
“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”
“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.
Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”
Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”
Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.
“Wha-, wife?”
Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.
“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.
“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”
“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.
You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”
Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”
“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?
“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.
“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.
You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.
“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”
“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.
“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.
“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.
“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.
“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”
Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.
With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”
“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.
“Is Tracy okay?”
“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.
Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.
Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”
Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”
At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.
“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”
Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.
“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.
“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.
“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”
Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”
“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.
“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.
“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.
You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.
Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”
“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”
Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”
“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”
Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”
“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.
Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”
“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”
“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.
Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”
“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.
Who was hazing who now?
You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.
The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”
“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.
Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”
“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.
“Uh-huh.”
The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.
“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.
Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”
Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.
As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.
“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.
“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”
You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.
“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”
“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”
You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.
And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.
“So?”
4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.
Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.
“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”
“Is this about you having two kids?”
When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.
“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”
As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.
“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”
Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?
Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.
“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”
Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”
“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”
“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.
“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.
Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”
Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.
“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.
“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”
Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.
He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.
He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.
“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”
It’s better off if he never comes back…
Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.
“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.
Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.
He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.
“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”
Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”
“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.
“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.
“Guess so…”
Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?
He didn’t know.
“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.
Russell worried he’d be like their father.
“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”
“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”
“I-, uh, I noticed their names,” Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”
“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”
“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”
Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.
Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”
Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…
“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.
“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”
“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.
“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.
Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.
“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
“Huh, really?”
“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”
“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.
Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”
“Ah.”
Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”
“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.
“Then why are you so calm?”
Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”
“So, what are we gonna do now?”
“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”
“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.
“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.
“What about Y/N?”
Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.
But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”
“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.
“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.
“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.
This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.
“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”
Quietly, Colter shook his head.
“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”
Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.
“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.
“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”
“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”
When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.
The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.
Part 5: This Is a Start
Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉
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🌹
My dear Aodhán,
No, certainly not. She balled up the paper and fed it to the fire.
Captain Rawlins,
Too formal; she could have been sending him a notary slip.
Aodhán,
You were kind to me, in your way, in a way that no one has been kind to me before or since. Under your [here she hesitated] care, I was more at liberty than I have ever been in my life, and as I go about my society days, I cannot say that thoughts of the Bess do not often cross my mind.
I cannot recall if I ever thanked you properly for your hospitality, and I hope you will allow me to do so now, belated though it may be. I wish you health and long life, and such safety as can be found in your profession.
Yours
Sincerely? Cordially? In the end she just left it be.
Yours,
Celia Kenwood
Postscript:
The bearer of this letter has undertaken considerable risk to deliver it to you. Please, if ever we may be considered friends, allow him to pass unharmed.
#went into the archives for this one!#i should resurrect it sometime i love a good old-fashioned pirate story#no research we die like the romance heroines of old#bodices: ripped. ship details: incorrect. historical era: ambiguous. now who's with me#wip#my stuff#wankydoo
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When it comes to climate change I am firmly in the “whatever it takes” category
Sulfates or diamond dust injected into the atmosphere could cool the earth by 1.6°? Do it. It costs trillions of dollars and people won’t like it bc of the chemtrails or whatever? Idc
Dehydrate the stratosphere causing cooling? Go for it sounds great
Forcefully pass legislation that means people are no longer allowed to use the most carbon emitting things? Go for it. Idc if it’s against our personal freedoms or whatever we can get those back when we stop destroying the world
Just straight up destroy HQs/factories of every company that is causing a large amount of emissions? Yep I support it even if I might have to not say that out loud when it actually happens for legal reasons lol
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING so if people are refusing to reduce emissions we’re simply going to have to DO SOMETHING ELSE
Sure it would be great to just elect leaders who care about the climate and have them legislate to remove emissions at a reasonable rate and turn things around but with globalization leading to the current world political climate etc it is now impossible to get anywhere in politics without being corrupt as hell and therefore impossible to elect non-evil leaders who care about anything other than money at this current moment, and I’m pretty sure we won’t get people who care about the earth (since they still have a few decades left on it and would have to suffer with us) until the entire current group of elderly oligarchs dies off so we’re gonna have to get something else going ASAP
My main hope is that now that dump the orange is back at it again people will actually start paying attention to the bad and damaging things this fuckawful country is doing and push back against it instead of going “well sure climate change is bad but I don’t want to criticize the prez in case the other guy gets elected instead so I’m just gonna say their policies are great!”
#one thing I do wish is that I actually knew how to support these things#like I’m scared by some stuff and encouraged by research some scientists are doing#but how do I help those scientists actually put their solutions into practice? idk I’m 25 years old I basically know nothing lol#and doing research myself just gets me more confused#I have such a big variety of ppl in my extended family yet no one who can actually help me figure out how to help lol#I’m also a fucking coward so I’m too scared to do something big and impactful that sends me to jail where I can no longer protect myself#side note for anyone actually reading the tags: we had zero good options this el*ction for climate#uwu girl boss k*mal* went on about how she loves fracking and also the whole ‘most lethal military’ thing (war accelerates global warming!)#so at the moment the d*ms don’t have anyone useful up for high offices#this is gonna have to be either an outside the gov thing#or an ‘after the current old gen peaces out’ thing#personal rant
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It's always a bit concerning when different meta turns into something akin to discourse.
#did i miss like a whole chapter of tumblr stuff while i was at con ??#i stick by everyone has their right to their own opinions and interpretations and whatever#but i dislike how one singular person is considered the expert and is put on a pedestal.#to the point that they're mentioned when someone doesn't agree with a take#unless they're the creator i'm not taking what they say as canon. at all. widely accepted or not. because it /isn't/.#because widely accepted doesn't equal accurate or right#no matter how well researched it is either. because i still don't think one singular person is 100% right when it comes to /everything/.#except the creator or creators themselves#popularity is just popularity#also yeah i'm bias too because i really really dislike a lot of their takes and could counter a lot of them too but it's pointless.#there can be good interpretations and shitty interpretations. but that's the beauty of fandom spaces#thank you for coming to my tedtalk#personal#i would love to post my own meta and probably will sometime when i grow a second braincell. so it's a little less jumbled insanity.#also it's mostly krauser centric so that has little to no bearing on leon.#also we're talking about a series that's almost as old as me#that has multiple timelines and retcons and inconsistencies and a novelization and live action movies.#like /come on people./#we all know where i stand when it comes to ID too tbh
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this Tylenol ain’t shit w
#talkingcore#emotions. man.#there’s so much music that I just haven’t listened to in a bit and it’s making me feel things it’s not even like sad things I’m like damn#how long has it been since I’ve listened to beautiful stranger by Madonna as featured in Austin powers international man of mystery#but also something in my brain feels like it needs to cry like I don’t feel like I physically can but something needs to be released#so do I go pet sounds? smile? falsettos? I feel like I need to be in a sleeping bag and Contemplate#fun fact! Kendra Morris has an absolutely stunning cover of don’t talk (put your head on my shoulders)#I’m pretty neutral on beach boys covers tbh I’m never crazy about them since like they really never measure up#how many mid covers of god only knows can I take? not many. but like she & him have their little Brian Wilson tribute I like that.#the covers are a lot better when they don’t try to perfectly replicate whatever the fuck Brian Wilson was doing they aren’t him#brain wants to go melancholy mode but I’ve no clue over what. girl just tell me what I’m supposed to be sad over I’ll commit to the bit#need to keep listening to new stuff but also need old stuff Maybe that’s it maybe I just need old stuff again? like routine?? shit idk#also like at 5 am I woke up and remembered how in choir people kept comparing me to the director they had the year before me#and the thing is she had the same name as someone else in choir that was student teaching my first semester so I kept thinking they were#referring to her Id be in my choir fit my silly suit my proud butch uniform and they’d be like oh this is so ‘insert name’!#and it kept throwing me off because the student teacher was like. not like me at all so I was like fuck#what kind of girl core energies am I accidentally emitting this is Bad. so anyway 5 am I’m like fuck it I need to research this person#I search. find her. she’s butch. I’m blessed. they weren’t lying like man we do such a good job at being generic! yay!#butch And in choir! love to see it! keep thinking how I am destined to be like in my 40s doing mundane tasks#I’m gonna be soooooo good at watering plants and putting salt on the sidewalk before it snows and cleaning drains#need to be a dad mom so fucking bad you don’t get it I need to drive carpool and take off work for dentist trips and watch hgtv#AHHHH i think that got rid of some of the sad lfg💥💥💥💥this must be super long god damn sorry
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There’s some really aggressive and really nasty people in the KH fandom when it comes to Sora or Riku being anything but straight.It’s…sad but really awful when they go to attack and send threats to queer shippers.
There’s a few queer RGG videos.However they share similar problems of the creator not knowing enough about topics/characters/etc, not expanding on stuff they really should, missing integral info, etc. One of these vids gave a very shallow reading to Kiryu of all people.
brother you coulda just stopped at 'really aggressive and really nasty people': its so perplexing how nasty they can get when KH is about friendship and loving and cherishing each other- though it is a disney property so i shouldnt be too surprised
oh word ?? again i aint ever seen these floatin round and i dont really go huntin for em. A for effort and all but its a shame the topics arent handled with greater care like they should be
#snap chats#disney attracts crazy yk what i mean#not to be bitter about KH community but ima be bitter dont tell anyone#i had never received hate or like. nasty messages before making KH posts like genuinely in all my years of being on tumblr#it got bad enough that i just shut off my anons since people were just so rude ??? and i couldnt even discern why#but im going on about old news- its just a thing thats bothered me for like a year now cause it was so surprising#anyway here's to hoping we get better rgg essays#like i know rgg fans can make great analysis#one of my fave analytical posts is the thematic connection between aoki and glass#like UGH it was good it was a short visual diagram but it explored points i thought of so beautifully#and even presented me ones i hadnt thought of before it's gotta be one of my fave RGG analysis posts#we gotta step out video essay game up though gang..... not me though i suck#i'll provide the info but if you ask me to speak i'll throw up#like i love doing research on things i love and analyzing it but i have the confidence of a worn shoe#and the speaking capabilities of a dog
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[[Screenshot ID: A twitter thread by sjklapecwriting that says:
The fact that "AI = what makes NPCs in video games do things" and "AI = complex scientific models that have been in use for years" and "AI = non-generative tools that automate tedious processes" and "AI = generative tools" are all called AI feels like deliberate obfuscation.
I want good AI in video games but I also don't want AI in video games at all and I think AI is useful in the sciences but don't trust AI at all to be used in science or medicine or law and AI to colour-correct a video or remove greenscreen is cool but AI generating movies sucks.
We talk about things that threaten art and creativity and steal vast quantities of work from artists and burn the amazon and drain the seas to do it all with the same language as something that can track a part of a video so special effects are easier to make and that sucks.
And this obfuscation feels so deliberate to me, because now people freak out if someone talks about wanting to use "AI that learns from the player" or "an AI solution to help me edit video" or "an AI that can be used to generate theoretical materials to test" and they look silly.
Because now "AI" is so firmly wrapped up with the concept of "generative models" that people are, rightfully, on guard against any mention of AI whatsoever to the point where entirely distinct technologies get uselessly criticized under the same umbrella.
Like imagine if we had no other language but "tank" to describe motor vehicles, so if I said we needed "public transit vehicles" everyone thought I wanted M1A1 Abrams for civilian transit. That's what it's like talking about AI.
End ID]]
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#I really like the closing analogy and the points being made here and I'd take the criticism of the lack of specificity even farther#Like the generative nature is not the problem you can throw a bunch of texts into a small model you can train on your local computer and#make weird robot poetry that you execute your human curation skills on in order to find stuff worth sharing#that can be a worthwhile artistic endeavor that's generative use of computational models and even doing the same sort of#mathematical recombining#but you can do it in a way that's intentional and transformative and doesn't burn through any more power than routine computer tasks#in the year of our lord 2024#if you use a small enough set of texts and you're familiar with them you can spot plagiarism pretty easily#this was like a really common toy exercise for artsy or lit-loving folks in CS for years to dick around with the works of an author or two#anyways as someone who's had their finger on this pulse since before the chatgpt explosion#I still think that the problem has to do with the ease of interacting with an overpowered imperfect world-burning computer program#that will produce good-SEEMING results with absolutely no training from the operator#and i wish we had a name for the bad ones that focused on that#generative AI is too kind of a name for things like chatgpt#it lumps things that are actually useful (and old) in with things that are problematic#it's not calling out the problem and that's why the proponents of chatgpt are still okay with it#They're live tanks that look like fisher price cars#they're unregulated cartoon vapes#they're a brain surgery for dummies book#they're an unmarked button in your car that fires a cannon out of the top#fwiw I think the obfuscation is also coming more from a place of the AI bros wanting to steal legitimacy from scientific fields#wanting to make their current giant black box toy language models look older and more researched than they are#which I suppose is more or less what OP is saying#but phrased in a way that makes AI bros sound less like chessmasters#which i think is a useful exercise#long post
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Poly!141 x fem!Reader
TW: sexual content ahead, choo choo
Part 1
“Wake up, love.” A groan left your lips and you flipped over, burying your face further into the fluffy pillow beneath your head. “Five more minutes.” The dark chuckle behind you betrayed that it was John who was trying to wake you up. He rounded the four-poster, and you cracked an eye open, glancing at him “Do I really have to carry you downstairs?” Your lips twitched, and John immediately knew your answer. With a slight huff, he picked you up and carried you downstairs. He plopped down on the couch with you in his lap, as you cuddled up against him, your eyes closed again.
“Look at her, I think we tired her out too much last night.” Johnny chuckled, gently scratching your scalp and running his fingers through your hair. A pleased hum left your throat as you leaned into his touch. “Yeah, you hurting, pretty?” Kyle sounded concerned and you quickly felt his body heat behind you. “’ M fine.” The Sergeant chuckled, kissing your head, before standing up and walking away.
“Okay, time for breakfast, huh?” Your eyes shot open immediately and you glared at Simon, who stood next to the gigantic Christmas tree you had forced the boys to buy and put up. “No! You promised that we would open the gifts first thing if…if…” Simon grinned, his eyebrows raised as you began to grow bashful. “If what, love?” Your lower lip jutted out as you pouted. “If I were a good girl and took a few more…orgasms.” John chuckled behind you. “Look who’s awake now. Don’t tease her, Si. Let’s open the presents.”
And with that, the present marathon began. The guys got presents for each other and opened them one by one, thanking each other. They were usual guy gifts - alcohol, cigars, socks, etc. Things the others could use, but nothing overwhelming. By the time they were done, you had finally woken up enough to point to the presents you had gotten each of them.
Johnny was the first to unwrap his. It was an expensive sketchbook and art set he had been eyeing for some time, but never decided to buy. “Aw, bonnie. Thank you, I appreciate it.” You grinned. “Open it.” With a slight frown, he did as you told him to, his eyes widening as he saw what was decorating the front page. It was a beautiful portrait of the two of you. You had gotten his favorite indie artist to draw it for you and he even signed it. “No way!” With a giant grin, he jumped to his feet. “How did ya- no, when did ya-?” He jumped over the table that was separating him from you, not waiting for an answer. “You are amazing.” Still grinning, he bent down and pressed his lips to yours, keeping it chaste for the moment.
After Johnny pulled back, Simon reached for his present and ripped the wrapping paper off. He eyed the box for a few seconds, suspicious of its content, but finally opened it once you insisted that it was fine. To his surprise, he pulled out an old-looking camera, his eyes immediately jumping to yours the moment he realized what he was holding. “Where did you find this?” You shrugged, still wrapped in John’s arms. “Did some research. Is it the right one?” Still looking dumbfounded, he nodded. “Y-Yeah. It’s uhm…it’s the right one. Thank you.” You smiled at him, thinking back to when he opened up to you about his hobby when he was a child, how his mother had bought him a second-hand camera just so he could find some joy in life. You spent months trying to find the same model and make, and when you did find it, you knew it was the perfect present. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realize Simon was standing right in front of you until you felt his lips against your forehead. “Thank you, love.” A smile formed on your lips as you gazed up at him. “Of course, Si.”
Kyle was next and he made quick work of the wrapping paper, just like Simon. He grinned the moment he realized what it was and skipped over, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “Thank you, sweets.” It was a quiet mumble against your lips before he kissed you again and pulled away. Johnny immediately grew curious, trying to see what you had gifted to Kyle, but the Seargent quickly pulled away, hiding the present. You giggled as you watched Johnny chase Kyle around until the left the living room, both of them yelling at each other. Simon glanced at you, a slight frown on his face. “Do we want to know?” Still giggling, you shook your head, thinking about the different colored yarn balls and crocheting needles. He had confided in you not too long ago that he wanted to try it, but was too shy around the others. You just hoped that he would see the encouragement and take it up.
“What about me?” John gently squeezed the fat on your hips, gathering your attention. “Oh.” You pointed at a small, beautifully wrapped box and Simon handed it to you. With his free hand, he took it, turning it over as if trying to guess what it was. “Just open it.” With a dark chuckle, he did, quickly shredding the paper and frowning as he saw that it was a watch box. But when he opened it, the frown disappeared and his eyes widened. “Where did you find this?”
A few months ago, during an op, his watch broke. Usually, that wouldn’t be all too bad, better the watch, that can be replaced, than his hand or wrist. But the watch was ancient, vintage as he called it and it meant a lot to him. He didn’t act like it, but it broke his heart whenever he looked at it, hidden away in the top drawer of his desk. And it broke your heart. So, together with Simon, you scoured all different kinds of jewelry stores and online until you found the exact same model, working and in good condition.
John closed the lid of the box and pulled you even closer against himself. "Thank you." His voice was barely above a whisper as he pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was gentle at first, his lips moving slowly against yours as his hand came up to cup your cheek. You melted into him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as the kiss deepened. But before it could go too far, Johnny and Kyle came barreling back into the room. “I want a hat.” The Scot was grinning at the other male. “I’m not making you a hat.” Kyle shook his head, but the grin on his face betrayed him. You and John pulled apart, him looking annoyed while you just chuckled at the familiar antics.
“Oh? You guys done?” Simon nodded as Johnny and Kyle sat down again, a smirk growing on their lips. “So, now it’s time for her presents?” And oh, there were presents. From lingerie and jewelry to plane tickets for your dream vacation. By the time you had unwrapped and opened all of them, Simon and Johnny had disappeared into the kitchen to make breakfast. “You guys are crazy. That’s way too much!” John shook his head, squeezing you tighter against him. “Nonsense. You deserve so much more.” Kyle interrupted the Captain. “And some of this may be compensation for having to put up with Johnny.” Immediately, Scottish curses sounded from the kitchen, making you chuckle.
“Thank you, guys. I love you. All of you.” John pressed a kiss to your cheeks, Kyle matching it on the other side, before both of them pulled away, making eye contact. “There is actually one more gift, wait here.” Price shifted you from his lap and sat you down on the couch, before he and Kyle disappeared, closely followed by Simon and Johnny who left the kitchen and followed the other two soldiers. You were curious but decided to be a good girl and wait patiently. While doing so, you glanced over all of your presents again, a font smile tugging on your lips. You really loved these idiots.
Someone clearing their throat pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked up, finding the four soldiers standing in front of you, naked, safe for a pretty bow wrapped around each of their cocks. “Ready for your final present, love?” They all grinned at you and you couldn’t help but grin back. Hell yes, you were ready!
A/N: If you're seeing this, it means I can finally upload again! Yay! Idk why but Tumblr wouldn't let me upload the last few days, no matter what I tried it didn't work. But whenever this goes up, I hope I can go back to my normal schedule! Love you guys!
#ghost fanfiction#cod#cod fanfiction#cod x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#fanfiction#john price#john price x reader#captain john price#captain john price x reader#johnny mactavish#johnny mactavish x reader#kyle garrick#gaz garrick#kyle gaz garrick x reader#tf 141 x reader#poly 141 x reader#ghost cod#ghost x reader#christmas#christmas drabble#cod christmas
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Beautiful Ghost-DC x DP prompt
Part of the Accidental Ghost Courting AU 》 HERE
We finally get Tim's perspective on Danny
If there is one thing everyone on campus knows it's that Danny Nightingale is hot. Not in the stereotypical supermodel or Hollywood way. He was so attractive it was scary like he dropped out of a fairy tale.
Tim first saw Danny after whispers started going around. He spotted Danny in the library walking towards the observatory on the top floor.
At first glance, you'd call him a goth and there was no shortage of people who'd love to date one. It's probably why no one shuts up about him. But Tim could tell this wasn't the corporate punk type goth that he saw Damian scrolling through on his phone. Tim was quick to tease Damian and stop what would inevitably become a phase.
No, Danny had a clear style. Classic gothic...but also not. It's hard to explain. His clothes looked handmade, straight out of the 1800s. Did he thrift or make them himself? He was an astronomy major right? Or was is engineering?
Danny looked almost ethereal. Tall, lean, and almost glowing skin. It wasn't until later that Tim would be close enough to see the way his skin sort of glittered in low light.
People parted to not obstruct Danny's path as he went toward the observatory.
Everyone knew that Danny was off limits, too cowardly to get the courage to ask him out and risk rejection. So Danny remained unreachable.
Tim paid it no mind. He acknowledged that Danny was good-looking but there wasn't much else that got his attention. Danny didn't pay attention to others.
But Tim couldn't help but notice that Danny was always alone in his own little world. There was a hint of longing in him. Tim might have overheard a few things.
Danny would usually be in the library reading eclectic materials, playing with tarot cards, and studying star charts. Other days he was in the greenhouse tending to a little corner of plants he was growing. He seemed bored. He looked like he'd rather be somewhere else.
Tim might have done some research. Just scrolling through Danny's social media. Pictures of friends and graveyards. Most of the landscape photos were taken after his arrival in Gotham. Tim gathered that Danny was alone out here and far from home. He could fit in easily around here but simply chose not to.
It wasn't until that faithful day when Danny offered him a bundle of red carnations and a cup of Death Wish coffee.
"You looked like you need this." He said smiling.
And wow...that smile. Tim didn't think he'd ever see a smile like that. It was a sort of lopsided smile, a bit clumsy but sweet. Danny had elongated canines. Were they fake or was it a medical condition?
Tim didn't know how to respond to Danny's offer but he wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee.
Over the next few weeks, Tim found himself on campus more often and hanging around Danny. Danny tended to be very generous. Always gave things to Tim, most of which he made himself. That is what made it all feel genuine. On cold days Danny always had a hot cup of coffee or tea. When it was sunny he had something sweet freshly baked. When it rained he had flowers to brighten the room. When it was foggy he wanted to go find something fun to do. Danny also worked at the flower shop nearby which was said to be haunted by the old owners.
Rumors spread more and more that Danny wasn't human, like some kind of fae that took human form. Was there a chance it was true? Yes. Does that mean that Tim was going to test that?
Yes.
So Tim just wanted to test that theory and gave Danny a bracelet that looked similar to the ones he usually had. It just so happened to be made of Iron. Tim felt bad about it (kinda) but it was just genuine curiosity.
But no Danny wasn't a fae. He was incredibly happy to get a gift though so no harm done.
Another thing Tim noticed was Danny's eyes. They weren't blue like he thought. Danny had central heterochromia. He had a ring of bright green near his iris surrounded by icy blue. Not that Tim was staring at his eyes or anything, just that no one ever mentions that part when describing Danny. It's pretty notable you know. More people should know that.
...
.....
It's normal to think that.
Anyways Tim and Danny meet up when they can. Danny likes visiting graveyards and abandoned churches. Not that he doesn't like the movies or arcades because he loves that stuff. But one time after a late class he dragged Tim with him on a scenic drive out of the city to this spot he found. It was this massive cliff just far enough from the city that you could see the stars.
Tim never really gave much thought to the stars. He's seen them thousands of times especially being carried around by Kon or on the Watchtower. But right then watching Danny fiddle with his telescope babbling on about the planets and far-off galaxies, the stars felt new and wondrous.
Was this what it felt like to be normal? Just a college kid going on a spontaneous road trip with a friend, not thinking about patrols or duties.
He liked it.
Danny had a way of making him forget about the rest of the world. Someone not linked to heroes and assassins. A friend, a weird one but one he didn't have to be Robin with. He was just Tim to Danny. Not Tim Wayne, not Tim Drake, just Tim.
Because of that, he wanted to keep Danny as far from his family as possible. They already think they were dating and he'd be damned if they scared Danny away. This didn't stop them from investigating Danny and that brat wont stop spouting his opinion.
"I don't know what he sees in you. Aside from appearance, there isn't much to like." Damian grumbled.
"He must be really vain then because Tim doesn't deserve this kid." Jason responded.
"But if he even thinks about hurting Drake-"
"Yeah, we bury him."
Tim has chosen to ignore everything they say.
The last issue is Phantom.
Tim doesn't like Phantom.
The spirit had been hanging around Gotham for a while now. He lingered around the corners of the city and if he felt like it he'd interfere. In his own words, Phantom said that he dealt with the dead, not the living. Tim did some research and it's said Phantom showed up near the dying or dead as a sort of shepherd to souls. He made the transition easier for them.
So when Phantom was seem lingering around Danny he couldn't accept it. He'd be damned if he let some spooky bastard take Danny. He can't have him.
So Tim decided to invite Danny to stay with him for a few days. But a few day became a week became two weeks. Don't judge. This was just so Tim could look out for Phantom and prevent Danny from dying. It hasn't been working so far since Phantom hasn't been seen nearby.
But Tim did run into him.
"Why are you stalking Danny Nightingale?" Tim damanded.
Phantom circled overhead his spectral tail curling. His translucent body phasing in and out of the visible light spectrum.
"Stalking? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't care about chasing the living. But let's say Nightingale is an exception. He's special. But what does he have to do with you?" Phantom eyes Tim suspiciously before diving down floated inches away from Tim face. "Hmmm, I always did think you were the cutest Robin. I was right. Too bad I've got my eyes on someone else now."
And like that he dissappeared.
Now Tim was even more anxious. Phantom was definitely after Danny most likely dead or alive. If something happened to Danny he didn't know what he'd do. Its not safe out there with Phantom hanging around.
Danny was still awake when Tim returned home. He was watching some detective drama he had refused to watch with Tim because he kept guessing the plot during the first few minutes. Which was fair.
"You were out late again. Would it kill you to get some sleep now and then?" Danny sighed stretching.
Tim wanted to say "Actually I think it would. Lets not test it" and banter like always. Maybe even relax and let Danny talk about where show was on.
But Tim couldn't. Not when everything felt so surreal. Danny was just oblivious to the dangerous spirit trying to take his soul and Tim couldn't protect him.
Tim couldn't believe he was thinking this but what if Danny wanted to be with Phantom? Then what?
Tim knew that his emotions were his greatest weakness. When he did control them he does a lot of self-destructive things and he ends up hurting people especially when he's hurt.
He hugged Danny, burying his face in his shoulder.
"Danny can you promise me...that you'll stay here." He didn't care if Danny wanted to be with Phantom just as long as he doesn't leave this world and stop being his light.
The thought of not seeing Danny every day killed him. No more nagging him to eat and drink. No more star gazing. No more TV marathons. No more being dragged to spontaneous trips to the crafts stores. No more hearing the insane conversations with his friends. No more waking up on the couch with a pair of blue-green eyes looking up at him. No more Danny.
Tim felt like his heart was stopping and his stomach dropped.
Danny hugged him back putting a soothing hand on the back of Tim's neck. It was cool to the touch.
"Of course, I'll stay." Danny laughed as if the very notion he'd leave was ridiculous.
Tim's brain seemed to twist in on itself as the cascade of emotions overflowed. That laugh seemed to play over and over in his head echoing non-stop. Warmth bloomed in his chest. Dread, uncertainty, hope, and affection all blended.
Oh no..
Tim was in love.
(This got way too long. I'm not really good a romance as you can tell but I'm trying. Anyway this is a Danny fell first but Tim fell harder situation.)
#dc x dp#dpxdc#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#danny fenton#tim x danny#red robin#tim drake#dead tired#brain dead#braindead#deadtired
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café de paris | max verstappen
face claim: none ᡣ𐭩
request: here !
a/n: all french / dutch is google translated blame them if it's wrong! race order is completely random here !
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📍café de paris, monaco
liked by bffstagram, friend1 and 294 others
y/nstagram me 🤝 café de paris
bffstagram bro those croissants look Fire ↳ y/nstagram my main source of sustenance in these hard monaco streets!
friend1 i have yet to see evidence of you shaking ass on a yacht miss y/n!! ↳ bffstagram so real... we're meant to be living vicariously through you!!! ↳ y/nstagram student finance doesn't stretch to yacht ass shaking, i can barely afford my daily caffeine fix 😭
friend2 oui oui hon baguette how is france? ↳ y/nstagram never let a monagesque hear you say that,,, bro i can't fight ↳ friend2 🫡 ... how is monaco?* ↳ y/nstagram 🫡 it's good!! def happy i chose here over france, even if my wallet doesn't agree 😭 ↳ friend2 we feeling fluent yet? ↳ y/nstagram oh god no, the other day this poor old lady tried explaining how to find the art museum to me and i just stared at her like 😶
friend3 spotted any f1 hotties yet? i hear they all camp out in monaco 👀 ↳ y/nstagram considering i have never watched a Single f1 race i couldn't tell you HAHAH i'm sure they're around here somewhere though ↳ friend3 dude i told you to brush up on f1 😭 how am i supposed to come visit you and have a meet cute with mr lando norris if you don't do your RESEARCH ↳ y/nstagram damn i see how it is,,, using me to get to your vroom vroom men,,,
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9178b102560799b3e70db59dac1d4935/2596d4db3d8b7250-07/s540x810/238dcb65b26c5edbaee053718dad02f22c6c79f5.jpg)
3 weeks later
📍café de paris, monaco
👤 alexandrasaintmleux liked by bffstagram, alexandrasaintmleux and 270 others
y/nstagram finally found someone else to join my café de paris obsession 🥐
bffstagram next bff sweetie run while you can... ↳ y/nstagram stop scaring the pretty bitches off damn 😔 ↳ alexandrasaintmleux bffstagram she won't let me leave 😭 ↳ y/nstagram i deserve better friends ↳ bffstagram you couldn't live without us xx ♥️ y/nstagram
alexandrasaintmleux la prochaine fois, nous irons au casino ! (next time, we go to the casino!) ↳ y/nstagram finance étudiante a dit non (student finance said no) ↳ alexandrasaintmleux 😔 s'il tu plait... pour moi? 🥺 (please... for me?) ↳ y/nstagram pray for my wallet guys...
friend3 wdym you just casually befriended The Alexandra Saint Mleux??? ↳ y/nstagram i thought her skirt was pretty and had no idea she was like famous 😭 then we just kept running into each other !! ↳ friend3 i need to fly out to monaco damn you can't even see her in the pic but ik she looked So pretty... ↳ alexandrasaintmleux i like your friends y/n :p ↳ y/nstagram just wait til you see them drunk,,,
📍 jimmy'z, monaco
👤 alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris and 2,962 others
y/nstagram started the night in a night club and ended on a yacht,,, just monaco things (apparently) 🛥️
friend3 y/n if you don't answer my texts RIGHT NOW !!!! ↳ y/nstagram 😉 any reason ml? ↳ friend3 i'm gonna swim to monaco and bite chunks out of your ankles what the FUCK ??? when were you gonna tell me you were just casually hanging with [REDACTED] ↳ landonorris i'm guessing i'm redacted? 😎 ↳ friend3 i need to go lie down ↳ y/nstagram landonorris dude 😭 ↳ landonorris was it something i said? 😉
alexandrasaintmleux meilleure amie 💗 (best friend) ↳ y/nstagram merci de m'avoir invitée ! je t'aime ! (thank you for inviting me! love you!)
maxverstappen1 was lovely meeting you last night schat x ↳ y/nstagram you too max! don't forget to send me those pics of the kids! x ↳ bffstagram kids? ↳ y/nstagram his cats! jimmy and sassy! 🐱❤️🐱 ↳ bffstagram your knack for finding cat people never fails to impress me ♥️ y/nstagram
danielricciardo dude my liver actually hurts... ↳ y/nstagram hey you're the one who suggested a drinking contest ↳ danielricciardo yeah because i normally WIN you freak ↳ y/nstagram i'm a broke uni student, my drink of choice is normally vodka so cheap it's legally paint stripper
georgerussell63 carmen's phone died but she said to remind you about brunch today ↳ y/nstagram on it!! alex is gonna come round and bring me 😊
👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 2,938 others
y/nstagram met some VIC's (very important cats) today! 🐱 also f's in chat for my café de paris 😔
bffstagram f ↳ danielricciardo f ↳ georgerussell63 f ↳ landonorris f ↳ carmenmmundt f ↳ alexandrasaintmleux f ↳ maxverstappen1 f
friend3 babies!! the second pic oh i could cry ↳ y/nstagram she slept there for like 3 hours 😭 managed to actually sit through a whole gp though so a wins a win! ↳ friend3 y/n watching f1?? who is she?? ↳ y/nstagram their dad forced me 💔 ↳ maxverstappen1 um who cheered so loud when i won that she woke poor sassy up?? ↳ y/nstagram 🤐
charles_leclerc i didn't know café de paris do takeout? ↳ maxverstappen1 they do if you're me :) ↳ y/nstagram the only reason i'm considering keeping him around 😉 ↳ alexandrasaintmleux charles_leclerc and why have you never used your influence to get ME takeout café de paris "prince of monaco" ↳ charles_leclerc look what you've done... y/nstagram ♥️ y/nstagram
fan they're definitely max's cats but who is she? ↳ fan she knows alexandra so maybe they're in the same friendship group??
3 months later
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y/nstagram working hard or hardly working 🌸
alexandrasaintmleux quand avez-vous passé votre examen ? (when's your exam?) ↳ y/nstagram lundi prochain,,, mon ami du café me manque 😔 (next monday,,, missing my cafe friend) ↳ alexandrasaintmleux nous fêterons cela quand tu auras terminé 💗 (we'll celebrate when you're finished)
bffstagram the red bulls... i wait 3 years white man does it in one week ♥️ maxverstappen1 ↳ y/nstagram hey! made him wait at least 2 months :p
friend3 the f1 book.. one of us one of us!! ↳ y/nstagram apparently i can't keep saying "the one with the red cow on it" when talking about his car,,, ↳ maxverstappen1 its a bull... literally a red bull... ↳ y/nstagram blah blah blah it's red and goes moo ↳ maxverstappen1 everyday i wake up to such disrespect ↳ charles_leclerc i'm just glad someone's keeping your ego in check ♥️ y/nstagram
friend1 when are you coming back to england :( ↳ y/nstagram i'm hoping to come visit next month! ↳ maxverstappen1 about that...
📍 jeddah, saudi arabia
👤 redbullracing, mine liked by redbullracing, y/nstagram and 1,928,385 others
maxverstappen1 First P1 of the season at the first race! Always grateful to stand on that top podium, especially today 🙂
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fan sorry WHO is that in the third pic????
fan bro soft launching on a race win post...
y/nstagram trots op jou ❤️ proud of you ♥️ maxverstappen1 ↳ fan 🤨
fan did you guys see the way his girl jumped the fence to get to him after he won? relationship goals fr
schecoperez another red bull 1-2! 💪 ↳ maxverstappen1 you gave me a run for my money at the end there old man! ↳ schecoperez less of the old thank you
redbullracing rue when was this ↳ fan admin finding out about max's relationship at the same time as us is so on brand ↳ redbullracing and here i thought we were besties 😔 ↳ maxverstappen1 😉
danielricciardo you look hot in the second photo and it's not just the heat 😍 ↳ fan maxiel lives on ❤️
fan he tagged her as mine BROOOOOO who's got this man so down bad??
👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 194 others
🔒 y/nstagram account locked DOWN but it's so worth it for you ❤️
maxverstappen i'm sorry liefje i should have thought about this before inviting you... ↳ y/nstagram i don't regret going maxie,,, and i certainly don't regret hugging you after the race,, i knew what i was getting into, it's just a lot ❤️ ↳ maxverstappen1 ik ben gek op jou ❤️ (i'm crazy about you) ↳ y/nstagram mijn charmante prins ❤️ (my prince charming)
alexandrasaintmleux you do what's best for you ma cocotte 💗 honestly going private at the start of mine and charles' relationship was one of the best things for us ↳ y/nstagram the woe of being a wag 😔
daniel.jpg dude can you accept my follow request ↳ maxverstappen1 you followed her from your jpg acc but not your main? ↳ daniel.jpg never said i was smart ↳ charles_leclerc ^ ↳ georgerussell63 ^ ↳ landonorris ^ ↳ alexandrasaintmleux ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ maxverstappen1 ^ ↳ y/nstagram ^ ↳ oscarpiastri ^ ↳ daniel.jpg oscarpiastri HOW DID YOU GET HERE?? you haven't even MET y/n yet ↳ y/nstagram that's my son watch your tone. ↳ daniel.jpg i am very sorry miss y/n l/n PLEASE let me in ↳ y/nstagram oscarpiastri shall i? ↳ oscarpiastri lemme think on it ↳ daniel.jpg i hate it here
📍 suzuka, japan
👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, y/nstagram and 1,394,582 others
redbullracing a quick look into max's garage! already over halfway through the season and your current world champion is on track for his 4th year running 💪
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maxverstappen1 you know how we do 👊
fan i see a y/n at the back!! ↳ fan who is y/n? ↳ fan his gf! she was first spotted in jeddah and she's been to quite a few of his races this year! ↳ fan do you have her ig? ↳ fan y/nstagram but it's private!
fan 4 time world champ incoming! ♥️ redbullracing
user lewis is gonna reclaim his title! ↳ fan ok gramps lets get you back to the home
fan best team in the world
user oh the gold digger is back ↳ redbullracing blocked, deleted and reported ↳ fan red bull stand on business ↳ redbullracing no one messes with OUR redbull girl! 👊
👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 274 others
🔒 y/nstagram did you know red bull gives you wings? 👼
maxverstappen1 must have taken you forever to think of that caption ↳ y/nstagram what can i say you're dating a comedic genius
friend1 damn ma lend me one of those jackets xx ↳ y/nstagram omg pls take one he won't stop giving them to me,,, ↳ friend1 i'll take the white cap too if you're offering 👀 ↳ y/nstagram 🫡
bffstagram the third pic... y/n STAND UP ↳ y/nstagram he has the prettiest eyes 😍 my man my man my maaaaan ↳ bffstagram we've lost her boys...
alexandrasaintmleux i see the ferrari jacket 👀 ↳ y/nstagram max nearly threw me out of the room fr ↳ maxverstappen1 you deserved it ↳ maxverstappen1 also i'm burning it when you're not looking ↳ y/nstagram charlie gave it to me :((((( ↳ charles_leclerc yeah max you wouldn't burn sweet charlie's jacket would you? ↳ maxverstappen1 i'd burn you IN the jacket if you don't stop ↳ charles_leclerc 🫦 damn i love when you talk dirty to me ↳ y/nstagram ,,, alexandrasaintmleux should we leave them to it? ↳ alexandrasaintmleux after what you showed me on tumblr... yeah maybe we should
daniel.jpg loving the drip ↳ maxverstappen1 has she still not accepted your main follow request? ↳ daniel.jpg no... i know it's oscars fault somehow ↳ oscarpiastri why am i catching strays? ↳ y/nstagram i watched baku 2018 ,, you're lucky i don't block your jpg account ↳ daniel.jpg THAT WAS SO LONG AGO LET ME INNNNNNN
📍 zandvoort, the netherlands
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redbullracing and maxverstappen1 getting P1 and being crowned a 4 time world champion at the final race of the season AND your home race? max verstappen we tip our hats to you 💙
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fan him lifting the trophy and mouthing "this is for you" to y/n i am so lonely oh my god
y/nstagram mijn kampioen ❤️ (my champion) ♥️ redbullracing, maxverstappen1
fan max verstappen world domination!! lets go champ!!!
fan y'know maybe the dutch national anthem isn't too bad...
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y/nstagram i moved to monaco for a degree in french and fell for a dutchman,,,
max, it has been a privilege to know you, to share your happiness and to love and be loved by you. watching you do what you do best fills me with so much joy and i can't wait to see you dominate the track for many more years. here's to you. ik hou van je, mijn kampioen ❤️ (i love you, my champion)
(also hi fans of max, i am very scared about being perceived by so many of you, please be nice ❤️)
maxverstappen1 mijn hart en ziel, ik weet niet hoe ik het in het Engels moet uitdrukken maar bedankt dat je in mijn leven bent gekomen, je maakt alles een beetje mooier. ik hou van je ❤️ (my heart and soul, i don't know how to express it in english but thank you for coming into my life, you make everything a little brighter. i love you) ↳ y/nstagram maxie 🥹 can't wait to celebrate you tonight ❤️
fan hi y/n!!! glad you felt comfortable enough to come off private! we're a nice bunch i promise! (at least most of us are) ♥️ y/nstagram ↳ fan also if anyone is mean to you i will do something that puts me on the national news 🫶
fan we've only seen glimpses of her on tv, max you bagged a baddie DAMN ♥️ maxverstappen1
fan mama y papa ↳ landonorris real ↳ oscarpiastri real
danielricciardo I'M IN !!! ↳ danielricciardo WAIT YOU WENT OFF PRIV??? y/n thats so mean wtf :(
alexandrasaintmleux mon couple préféré 💗 (my favourite couple) ↳ y/nstagram c'est grâce à toi alex, je t'aime 💕 (it's all thanks to you alex, love you)
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maxverstappen1 an appreciation post for mijn liefje. being able to put up with me dragging her halfway across the world nearly every month so i can drive fast cars whilst studying for her degree. graduated top of her class (with an elective in dutch 😉). here's to you and to us. (oh and happy 11 months, i may love you a little bit) ❤️
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y/nstagram my boy ❤️ could't have done it without your support ↳ maxverstappen1 i know, i am an Amazing boyfriend 😉 ♥️ y/nstagram
landonorris congrats y/n! knew there had to be a big brain in that ol' noggin of yours ↳ y/nstagram thanks lan! maybe i can actually teach you some french now 🤓
fan taking a long walk off a very short bridge
redbullracing congratulations to the brains of the couple! hoped you liked the gifts 💙 ↳ y/nstagram a dutch for dummies book, you think you're so funny don't you 😐
fan the flowers 😭😭😭
fan doesn't post about his championship but posts about his girl... need me a man like that
#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#max verstappen x you
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