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icequeenbae · 1 year ago

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Boy Next Door (m) Ch.1 | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Warnings [whole story]: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex

Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 4.5k (pt.1)

Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?

Chapter Masterlist: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)

Author’s note: This has taken me so, SO long to write and edit that I cannot believe the time has come to post it lmao I just wanted to write something simple with the classic boy-next-door vibe but as usual, the story ended up being much longer than planned and I am going to post it as a mini-series. Please keep in mind that your feedback is what motivates me to write and post more <3 And biiig thanks to the lovely @beomcoups for taking on the beta duties on this whole story~

Network Tags: @bbh-net @k-vanity @ksmutsociety

PART 1

In the lobby or on your floor – those were the two locations where you’d been bumping into Baekhyun most often. Which wasn’t that strange, considering that you were neighbors. But it somehow always caught you off guard and left you flustered.

Just like the first time.

It happened almost a year ago when you were waiting for the elevator on the first floor of your building with your best friend Yuki, who came early to help you with preparations. A guy in a loose white dress shirt and jeans stepped into the elevator with you, politely greeting you before pressing his floor number.

‘Oh, you live on the 13th as well? So, you and our Y/N are neighbors!’ Yuki exclaimed.

‘Nice to meet you,’ you muttered and bowed, shy from the sudden introduction. He reciprocated, chocolate hair falling into his eyes charmingly.

‘You should come to her housewarming party! It’s in a couple hours,’ Yuki chimed in again. ‘You don’t need to bring anything, it’s just a small thing with a couple friends and neighbors. We’re making sure Y/N-ie settles in nicely here. So please come, we have tons of food!’

If anyone could ever say no to your friend… Well, you had never met such a person. You guessed that Baekhyun was simply too stunned by her enthusiasm, so he said he’d swing by for sure. In a way, you were thankful that she’d asked him – you’d have never had the guts to invite someone like that; especially not anyone as good-looking and cool as Baekhyun.

You regretted letting your bestie invite him the following evening when your party was in full swing for several hours. Most of the food was devoured, so now you were all drinking, crunching on snacks, and conversing; or trying to while jumping from one topic to another.

‘I wish we could gather more often. We all like to hang out with you, you know?’

As always, Yuki nagged at you for being too ‘stay-at-home’ of a friend.

‘I like to hang out too. But home is home. You know parties aren’t really my… favorite pastime.’

‘What is your favorite pastime, lying in bed cuddling your blanket?’ Chanyeol joked insensitively.

He should’ve known better since you were the most troubled in your group of friends regarding relationships. It was super tough for you to find a match, even when you made an effort to get out of the house and meet new people, mostly because of your history of failed relationships where your partners gained interest in someone else. It seemed like you were too plain to hold someone’s attention for long. So, you’d been ‘that single friend’ for several lonely years now. And at this time, you were actually in the very beginning of a new, promising relationship. You were still pretty insecure about it; thus, Yeol’s comment really did make you flinch. He was drunk, so that was understandable, but you still sulked at his words, mainly because they were true.

‘Hey, it doesn’t have to be a blanket.’ You frowned, pressing the straw to your lips in frustration.

‘I’m kinda sad that guy you’ve been talking to couldn’t come,’ Yuki interjected. ‘I wanted to find out what he’s like.’

‘Minho had work-related travel, so he’s resting up.’ You shrugged, sipping your drink timidly.

‘I’m sure the guy made this excuse just to avoid meeting your friends. How long have you known him for, like, two days?’ Chanyeol interjected.

‘It’s been a few weeks, actually,’ you corrected, and Hoseok, Yuki’s boyfriend, muttered a reproaching ‘hyung’ in his direction.

‘Gosh, you’re really this stupid while drunk,’ Yuki shook her head disapprovingly at your friend, who simply shrugged.

Baekhyun was pretty silent during the latest exchange, so when you briefly made eye contact, it reminded you that he could also hear all of that chatter. Which made you want to choke on your drink from humiliation. Thankfully, one of your friends still had some tact left that night, so they quickly changed the direction of the conversation. Still… you’d been mortified for weeks after the event, doing your best to avoid bumping into Baekhyun when leaving for work.

***

The next time you met, Baekhyun was also in the lobby of your apartment building. And once again, before a gathering at your place. Just days prior you had lost it and left your resignation letter at your boss's desk. Working such long hours under the constant pressure of absolutely unrealistic deadlines was taking its toll on you for sure. But when you found out they promoted a person, who was obviously less experienced and capable than you in working (but more capable in flirting with your manager), instead of you… It became the last straw.

Baekhyun appeared right on time as you struggled to push the elevator button with a whole case of beer in your hands.

‘Y/N,’ you heard his velvety voice call. ‘Nice to see you.’

‘Oh- Hi, Baekhyun.’ You greeted awkwardly, puffing from the weight you had to balance.

‘Let me help you with that?’ His suggestion sounded like a question, yet he instantly scooped the case from your hands.

‘You don’t need- thank you,’ you said, and he shook his head to indicate that it wasn’t a big deal.

‘So… having a party again?’ He asked as the elevator doors closed.

‘I wouldn’t call it a party,’ you hummed, looking at your feet. ‘I kinda had to quit my horrible job of 4 years, so my friends are making me celebrate it. Not that becoming unemployed calls for a celebration…’

You trailed off, not wanting to be a nuisance to your neighbor. He was just making small talk.

‘I’m sorry to hear that. Are you taking a break now or looking for something else?’

‘I’ll start looking next week. It’s Friday, my friends are coming… So I’ll try to just clear my mind and rest for one full weekend before I start stressing about a new job. Hopefully, my friends wouldn’t talk my ear off about it – that’s what the beer’s for. My little trick,’ you chuckled sheepishly.

‘Aren’t your friends supposed to treat you in this situation?’ Baekhyun huffed, shaking his head to rearrange his hair and better see you.

‘They should… bring more alcohol with them, I think. I couldn’t have them over for nothing, though.’

The doors opened after a robotic voice announced your floor.

‘Well, anyhow. Thanks a lot for your help!’ You tried taking the beer from Baekhyun, but he didn’t let you.

‘Open the door first; you can’t do it while holding this.’

‘Right. Thanks,’ you fussed, pressing your password in.

Baekhyun quickly placed the case on the floor of your hallway.

‘You should come!’ You blurted out, instantly getting flustered. ‘If you want.’

‘I might drop by if I’m free,’ he smiled softly. ‘My family wanted to have a video call later. That may take long.’

‘Of course. Have fun!’ You nodded, beating yourself up in your mind for being so weird suddenly.

‘You have fun,’ he chuckled, stepping towards his apartment. ‘Oh, and Y/N?’

Looking up at him as he called your name, you were met with his warm yet serious eyes.

‘If you need anything… You know where to find me.’

That made you strangely sentimental.

‘T-thank you.’

He sent you a message later on and let you know he couldn’t make it to your party. But in a way, he was there – on your mind.

***

It was about three weeks after you’d broken things off with Minho. If you could even consider it one, the relationship wasn’t long, only a couple months. At first, you thought it could be something, realizing later that it was only wishful thinking. There was no way the two of you could make it work; you were just not compatible with each other. The more you got to know him, the more you were reassured of that. Your life goals were different, your outlook on relationships was different… even your ideas of quality time with a significant other didn’t match. This time, the initial infatuation wore off rather quickly – probably because you didn’t go out of your way to appease him. You knew it was probably for the better. Pretty much all of your relationships ended the same way, with your boyfriends telling you they found someone else. Someone… more exciting.

This was the case for your first relationship halfway in your first year of university.

‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I just don’t feel the spark, you know? You’re so… domestic,’ your then-boyfriend said in his breakup speech. ‘I’m young, I want to experience stuff, be bold, and have fun. And there are people that I can do this with, who’ll also enjoy it.’

It repeated less than two years later when you’d barely worked up the courage to try and start something with another person. When it happened the third time, you decided you weren’t really made for relationships. It was ironic since you always wanted to be in one. You were very affectionate and were keen on taking care of people. Yes, you weren’t that into big gatherings and parties, and maybe it was a little too difficult to drag you anywhere when you were stressing about the upcoming tests and stuff… But you weren’t completely closed off! Even with those limitations, you were very sociable and had many friends. Was it so bad that you didn’t say yes to every suggestion? Did your inclination to stay at home and have cozy dates instead of outdoorsy stuff make you a non-relationship material? It seemed like every time someone else appeared, your boyfriends easily decided to move on.

And even though you weren’t in love with Minho, this breakup still made you sour. What made this particular day suck was that you’d found out that he was already in a new relationship; happily broadcasting it everywhere.

You weren’t jealous of him for being with someone else. You envied him for being able to find another partner in mere days after you parted ways, while for you, it felt like you’d never find or be able to retain anyone. Ever. Never ever.

‘Earth to Y/N!’ You jumped from someone’s voice ringing in your ears.

Looking up, you saw that the elevator doors were held open by your dashing neighbor, who was staring directly at you.

‘Sorry, I spaced out,’ you quickly entered. ‘Hi.’

‘Hey,’ Baekhyun smiled, pressing the button for your floor. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Um, yeah. No. I mean-’ You sighed. ‘I’m just a bit out of sorts.’

‘Trouble at work?’

‘No, my new job is great. A huge improvement on the previous one. It’s just… everything else is not nearly as great?’

Yeah, because you pushed yourself to get back on the market to finally not be alone, and here you were. Back to square one.The sniffling you produced startled even your own self.

‘Oh god, I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry about,’ he replied, his voice gentle. ‘Do you want to talk?’

‘Oh no, I wouldn’t dream about boring you with my stupid problems.’

‘I’m sure they aren’t stupid,’ he said. ‘And I have ice cream. Almost any flavor you could think of.’

You looked at him silently, and he smiled again reassuringly.

‘It’s not mandatory for you to tell me anything. But I can treat my favorite neighbor with some ice cream, can I not?’

‘Am I your favorite just because you don’t know anyone else?’ You snickered gawkily.

‘No. Not just-’

He was interrupted by the usual announcement of your floor.

‘So, what do you think? You can change first and then come, no hurry. I’m free tonight.’

You puckered your lips, genuinely intrigued by his offer. Ice cream sounded perfect right about now. Although agreeing just because of the promised treats was pretty childish, you couldn’t help but be seduced by his suggestion. So, you gave him a shy nod.

‘Okay. Throw on something comfy and come over.’

You entered your respective apartments, and only after the door behind you locked… you realized that your heart was racing.

‘Damn you, Y/N, why did you agree to do this??’ You whined, catching a glimpse of your scrunched-up face in the mirror.

Fishing your phone out of your handbag quickly, you messaged Yuki.

You | I fucked up, Yu!!

You | Idk what to do now…. ㅠㅠ

Ki-yaah | What happened?? Did you like a pic on Minho’s new gf’s SNS??

Ki-yaah | I’m so dumb for telling you about this… I’m so sorry Y/N ㅠㅠ

You | No, not that

You | Who cares about Minho and his girlfriend??

You | I mean, I was a bit salty about this… But I met Baekhyun again!

Ki-yaah | Baekhyun? Your cute as fuck neighbor Baekhyun??

You | No

You | Yes?

You | My neighbor Baekhyun. I blurted out that I wasn’t in the greatest mood, and he invited me to his place for ice cream!

Ki-yaah | WHAT

Ki-yaah | YAH

Ki-yaah | THAT SLEEK BASTARD

Ki-yaah | I hope you’re texting me from his couch

Ki-yaah | Or kitchen counter

Ki-yaah | Or wherever you kids decide to do it

A bunch of obscene emojis appeared on your screen, making you blush on the spot.

You | Do it?? We’re not doing anything. I’m home!

Ki-yaah | So, you’ve already done it?? HOW WAS IT??

Ki-yaah | Waaah, you’re quick these days, Y/N-ah! Finally, you’re learning your lessons

Ki-yaah | I hope you wrapped it up though

Ki-yaah | I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped it, though, I can imagine how starved you are on good sex.. Still, safety first!

Ki-yaah | Wait, so was he?? Any good??

Ki-yaah | You’re silent!

She typed so fast that you didn’t even have a second to write back, mostly from shock – your friend wasn’t always this shameless, actually.

Then she started calling.

‘Yah, why aren’t you spilling the beans?? Too worn out to type, bestie?’ She smirked on the phone, making you cringe.

‘Because there’s nothing to spill! I haven’t even gone over yet.’

There was a second of silence.

‘… What?!’

‘I have to change; I just came from work, you know? My makeup needs fixing too…’

Your phone instantly started vibrating as a video call request came in, which you begrudgingly accepted.

‘Damn, you can’t go like this. It’s not seductive at all!’ She exclaimed.

‘I’m not going over to seduce anyone! And he told me to wear something comfy…’

‘What?? Hm, actually…’ She tapped her index finger on her chin, deep in thought. ‘He does look like the type to be into that.’

‘I-into what?’

‘Cute girls! I told you already, he was probably crushing on you since the time he came to your housewarming party!’

‘Pfft, that’s ridiculous. And don’t bring up him allegedly glaring at Yeol for his stupid comments again, I beg of you!’

‘Alright. But he’s always so nice to you! Oh-Em-Gee, you’d look so cute together,’ she squealed.

‘I don’t have time for this. I can’t have him waiting for much longer, and I need to shower…’

‘Yes! And remove your makeup while you’re at it.’

‘Huh?? If I redo my makeup… isn’t it gonna look strange? Like I’m trying too hard?’

‘You won’t have to redo it. You’ll have only very basic nude makeup on. Looking all natural and cute.’

‘I swear, if you say ‘cute’ one more time-’

‘Can’t a girl dream?? I can already imagine how cute your children would be…’ Your friend kept musing.

‘I’m hanging up.’

‘Yah, take this seriously. Clean up nicely, and let your hair down. Also, shave your-’

‘Yuki!!’

‘You never know!! One second, he’s licking ice cream off his spoon; the other, he’s l-’

Quickly tapping on your phone screen, you canceled this embarrassing call. The vivid images didn’t leave your mind as fast, though, so you shivered, shaking your head to get rid of the obscenities.

‘She’s a bad influence, for sure,’ you muttered, still ashamed of yourself for imagining your neighbor in such a context.

The time was ticking, so you decided that Yuki was somewhat right and needed to clean up. You also needed to hurry the heck up; you didn’t want to make Baekhyun wait too long. Thirty minutes later, you were in front of his door.

‘Come in, come in,’ he ushered you inside, having you change your footwear for the pink house slippers.

Why did he have those again?

‘Cute, right? I ordered them for my niece and got the size completely wrong, but they fit you perfectly. I guess I wasn’t wrong after all.’

He looked at your feet for another second before blinking and clearing his throat.

‘Let’s not waste any more time, everything’s ready. Come on!’

Everything? Did he prepare a whole reception?

You took a good look at the back of his head as he walked you to his kitchen, noticing that his hair was slightly wet. Did he also shower? You swallowed at the thought. He probably didn’t invest as much time into the preparations as you did, though. You blamed your best friend for the inappropriate thought she planted in your head!

‘Here, take a look.’

He opened his freezer, and you gasped.

There was an entire collection of ice cream. Cones, popsicles, buckets… All different flavors and manufacturers.

‘I see you’re impressed,’ he smirked. ‘I have a niece and a nephew, you know? Kids aren’t easy to please these days.’

‘Can’t deny that I am. How many do you have here?’

‘No idea… I just keep buying them. Which one’s to your liking? You can try different ones. I’m in the mood for mint choco and lemon.’

‘Those are my favorites!’ You jumped up like a kid.

‘Really? Both?’

‘Yeah! I haven’t seen a lemon ice cream anywhere, only sorbets! Where did you find it?’ You closed the freezer as he got the two buckets out.

Baekhyun suddenly seemed pleased with himself.

‘You think I give away trade secrets just like that…’ He replied mysteriously.

‘I wanna buy some too,’ you pouted, circling around him while he took the lids off. ‘If you don’t tell me… I’ll eat all of yours!’

‘Ha, go ahead. There’s more where that came from,’ he teased right back, hovering slightly over you.

Lowering your gaze to avoid staring directly at him, you noticed something.

‘What’s this?’

Baekhyun turned back to the counter.

‘Ah, this old thing? You know how ice cream scoops are sold in paper cups or cones? This thing,’ he picked it up. ‘Is to make those. Watch.’

He dipped the instrument in water and shook it slightly, then scooped the mint ice cream, creating a smooth green ball with tiny pieces of chocolate adding to its hue.

‘Cool,’ you muttered, genuinely finding that fascinating.

‘Right? It’s awesome!’

‘Let me guess: the kids don’t appreciate it enough?’ You asked.

‘Those little- Here, you try with lemon.’ He pressed on a small lever and dropped the green globe into a bowl.

You shook your head.

‘I’ll mess it up; you do it.’

‘Come on, Y/N. You can’t mess it up; it’s just ice cream.’

‘Just ice cream? You don’t deserve to know the secret selling spots for this!’

He snorted, moving to the side to give you more space to try and repeat his previous actions.

You dipped it in water like he did and shook it before moving the lemon ice cream bucket closer. Spending about twenty seconds taking aim, you huffed.

‘I can’t do it! Yours is so round and pretty; I am not that professional.’

‘I’ll help,’ he chuckled at your meltdown, holding your wrist and softly pressing down on your hand to guide it. ‘Scoop it this way to make it full and round.’

You did as you were told, yet your mind was far away from the scooping technique. The entire focus of your being was now set on the unprecedented proximity you were in. He held your hand, his chest so close to your shoulder that you could feel the heat radiating off him. When you dropped a yellow ball of lemon ice cream into the bowl, you could only pray that he didn’t notice the goosebumps littering your arms.

‘See? Yours is even better-shaped than mine,’ he hummed close to your ear.

‘Y-yeah.’

As if sensing your perturbation, Baekhyun suddenly stepped back.

‘Trying just two flavors is a waste of an evening. Let’s get more.’

Ten minutes later, you were sitting in his living room at the small table in front of his couch. The bowl with at least a dozen different ice creams sat atop another one, which was filled with ice.

‘No one likes melted goo, right?’ Baekhyun chuckled while constructing this mobile freezer.

You tried all of them one by one, gushing about each flavor.

‘The grape one isn’t tickling my fancy,’ he said, nudging the oddly-colored glob away.

‘Really?’ You reached for it with your spoon.

‘Don’t even try it. That’s bad,’ he scrunched his nose. ‘I can taste every chemical they used to make this grape flavor.’

You laughed, trying it despite his protests.

‘It tastes like… very cheap jelly,’ you said.

‘Exactly! Such a strange texture. Hmm, I shall look for a better option then. My nephew Siwoo loves grapes.’

You smiled at his concern for his youngest family member’s preferences.

‘Your nephews must be the happiest kids in town with an uncle like that,’ you murmured, stealing a bite from the rest of the lemon ball that he subtly nudged your way earlier.

‘They’re pretty lucky, aren’t they?’ He agreed easily, earning a snicker from you.

As you savored the last of the lemon flavor on your tongue, he leaned in, eyes focused on your lips.

‘You eat just like Siwoo,’ he instinctively wiped your lower lip with his thumb.

Looking up at him, you caught the moment he realized what he was doing and retreated.

‘Sorry,’ he muttered awkwardly. ‘It’s a habit.’

Pressing your finger to your lower lip, which was now burning, you shook your head neutrally.

‘It’s okay. You must spend a lot of time with them,’ you scooped more in your spoon to somehow soothe the burn on your lips.

‘Not as much as I’d like. Most of the time, our schedules don’t match up, especially with them living in a different city. I try to have them over or visit them as much as possible.’

Baekhyun’s voice became warmer as he reminisced.

‘I get scolded by hyung a lot for spoiling them. But what can I do? At least they’ll have those pleasant memories and presents to remember me by while we’re apart.’

‘Are they close in age?’

‘About four years apart. Seoyul is pretty grown already; I can’t believe her little brother is going to school soon as well.’ He smiled, remembering something. ‘When she started her first grade, he was so upset. He cried every time she left the house.’

‘Aw, that’s so cute,’ you cooed. ‘So they’re getting along well?’

‘Yeah, apart from the occasional bickering. Siwoo is… a boy.’

‘A little daredevil?’

‘He’s driving his noona insane sometimes. To be honest, I was exactly the same at his age. We’re both lucky to have siblings several years older.’

‘Ah, so your hyung is much older than you?’

‘Seven years. He was almost like a father,’ Baekhyun chuckled. ‘But had he been even a couple of years younger… Pretty sure he would’ve given me a piece of his mind back then.’

‘I wouldn’t ever imagine that you were a maknae of your family.’

‘Why? I had so much aegyo as a child! Yes, my mom had to exercise lots of patience, but I was cute as hell.’

‘I’m sure that’s how it was,’ you hummed.

‘I’m still in the top-3 cutest of our family list. Might even be cuter than Seoyul at times; she’s way too serious these days.’

‘Wow, going over your nephews’ heads after the title… How mature of you.’

‘Hey, don’t blame me for being extremely cute.’

‘Show me some aegyo then,’ you challenged him with a smile.

‘Huh, you wish. You’re not ready for my aegyo, Y/N-ie.’ He responded sassily.

‘Is that so?’ You smirked, holding his gaze up until the chime of your phone provided an interruption.

Your bestie found a great time to pry into your business, which was evident from the message previews on the screen.

Ki-yaah | You’re not texting me back…

Ki-yaah | Which either means that you chickened out…

Ki-yaah | …or his stamina is REALLY freaking impressive

Ki-yaah | Which one is it??? I hope it’s the latter!

You inhaled sharply and started coughing, barely managing to swipe those messages off the screen before Baekhyun could see them.

‘Are you okay?’ He patted you on the back to help you overcome your coughing fit.

‘Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t realize it was so late… It was so rude of me to keep you up. Let me help you clean this up.’

‘Leave it,’ he shook his head, catching you by the wrist. ‘I’ll put this away later.’

‘I’ll… get going then,’ you stood so abruptly that your legs couldn’t keep up with you, completely numb from being in the same position for so long.

‘Y/N!’ Baekhyun rose to catch you by the arms. ‘Take a second, sit on the couch. Your legs must’ve fallen asleep.’

You swatted at your legs with your palms, urging the blood flow to restore quicker.

‘Sorry…’

‘Why are you sorry? I’m not in a hurry to get rid of you.’ He stated simply.

‘It’s just so late… and… you must have stuff to do.’

‘Nope. I actually had fun. I rarely get to sit around at home munching on ice cream and enjoying another grownup’s company.’

You bit your lip shyly at his words, and he suddenly tsked.

‘Although I feel like we were mostly talking about me. That’s a shame. I want to hear about you as well,’ Baekhyun mused, walking you to the door. ‘Well, let’s save it for next time.’

Next time, he said.

Next time??

You turned your back on him to conceal the shade of your cheeks and pretended to fidget with the doorknob.

‘Let me,’ he reached over you, pressing his warm chest to your back for a second to unlock the door.

But before you could step outside, his fingers wrapped around your forearm in a lax hold.

‘And Y/N… If you ever find yourself craving some lemon ice cream… I’m ready to provide it.’

With that, he pushed the door open and allowed you to leave his apartment.

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you for reading! Another BBH mini-series started 💫 I hope you enjoyed part 1~ Pls let me know what you think via comments, asks and reblogs, my darlings 💜 Also, I am very curious if you are picturing anyone in particular as Hoseok hehe 🙃

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thicctails · 1 year ago

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"Viva la Viva, baby!"

So guess who watched Trolls 3 today~

Ngl, based on the trailers I had really low expectations for this movie, and it was really only after watching some TikToks with the villain song in them that I decided to give it a chance, and I'm so glad I did. 3 is by far my favourite of the entire series. Was not expecting to love Viva, but she was fantastic and I wish we had more screen time with her!

While I'm not entirely sure how I will/would integrate her into the Rough and Fluff AU, I decided to make a design for her anyways, complete with some little headcanons/additions. (Click the image for better quality)

More spoilery/AU discussions and 4th movie predictions below!

Okay okay, movie discussion first:

-I fucking LOVE the Putt Putt Trolls. Its so satisfying seeing how the trauma from the bergens being more fleshed out, and it makes perfect sense that they are as fearful as they are. I'm actually surprised there wasn't more pushback when Viva stopped them from executing Bridget and Gristle.

-(How did they escape actually? The tunnels collapsed, but were there other tunnels? Or did they have a different way out? How did so many, including the eldest heir to the throne, get left behind? Why did Peppy not get BOTH his daughter's immediately?)

-On the topic of Viva; notice how her ears are lower/sharper than Poppy's? I think that's typically a more masculine trait (not 100% bc we see some male trolls with softer/rounder ears) so uh yeah MTF Viva real suck my entire nards

-Fuck King Peppy. This guy gets worse every movie. He is the Dumbledoor/Sensi Wu of Trolls. Mans cannot just give Poppy relevant information to save his LIFE. I can understand not telling Poppy immediately, the grief of loosing his eldest daughter would understandably make that hard, but its been over 20 years now, and she deserved to know.

-Also, fuck most of Branch's brothers! I'm glad JD went back eventually (when exactly he did isn't clear, but sometime between the night of the escape and the first movie) but if he assumed Branch had died, why not try and contact his other siblings to tell them? Clay I can kinda understand with him not wanting to venture out beyond the mini golf area and leave the trolls he was helping to protect, but the rest of them? Not one of them tried to go back for their baby brother? Not even Floyd? When Trollstice was a thing?? Branch shoulda thrown hands fr.

-Rhonda the armadillo bus thing was hella cute and I want a plushie.

-I. Do not really like Crimp

-Velvet and Veneer slayed sooooooo hard. I hope Veneer makes a comeback.

-I also hope we see more of the other troll tribes again.

-The music for this movie was absolutely fire and I NEED a full cover of Sweet Dreams

-I wish the Grandma's death was touched on more than once for like .5 seconds. Like, come on guys, your brother just revealed a major trauma, and that your GRANDMA died!! For christ sake, maybe go apologize for fighting?? maybe go comfort him????

Movie numero 4 predictions:

-Broppy marriage. Branch fr said "Lets get married" by accident HES THINKING ABOUT IT

-Either Poppy/Viva get their mom back, or Branch gets one/both of his parents. Dreamworks will pull some bullshit out of their ass and say that uhm actually they escaped like years before the others did and have been, idk, trapped in the shadow realm or something.

-We see Chef/Creek again. Creek redemption ark would go crazy hard IF DONE RIGHT and I want to see that fear of some monster trying to eat all your friends come back again

-Broppy kid reveal at the end of the movie. Unbelievable amounts of Plush Toy Marketing and terrible spin offs ensue.

-backstory/lore/backstory/lore/backstory/lore/BACK

-I just want to see more Trollstice era stuff plz dreamworks

-We get a Sound of Silence reprise

-Branch/his brothers are revealed to be a hybrid/some kind of special troll. I am TELLING YOU this guy adapted to different kinds of music like it was NOTHING, something Poppy and the others struggled with. Hes got something in him I SWEAR

-Tiny diamond is, once again, part of the main supporting characters

Au shiz:

-If Viva IS put in, its going to most likely be during the sequel. Peppy is already going to be dragged through the mud, might have him mention something about a lost sibling near the end of the OG fic, and since the Pop trolls will be looking for a new home, maybe they'll run into her

-Branch's brothers will not be making an appearance. They simply dont fit into the narrative. I may do an alternate au with them included but who knows.

-Mildly considering making Tiny Diamond a Greek kid. (Guy x Creek) would make for some interesting angst.

#trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls branch #trolls viva #trolls poppy #trolls king peppy #trolls rough and fluff au #trolls au #trolls 3 discussion #movie discussion #trolls veneer #trolls velvet

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hibiscusangel15 · 4 months ago

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Entity Horror Movie Rec List: The Stranger

The Stranger is an entity that personally freaks me out. I already don’t like interacting with strangers if I can help it, and the idea of a creature completely stripping away all that you are and no one, not even those closest to you, being able to tell the difference is horrifying.

A lot of the movies on this list rightfully feature aliens, specifically those of the shape-shifting or infiltrating society variety, and loss of humanity.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

The original nightmare that threatened the world!

I didn’t put a specific year for this one because honestly both the 1956 and 1978 versions are great movies in their own rights. The ‘56 version is a bit cheesy by today’s standards, but honestly, the first time I saw it, I was freaked out by the concept for days after. It’s still pretty effective, in my opinion.

Both versions depict the fear of The Stranger the best of the movies on this list. The infused paranoia of the ‘78 version is near-perfect for it. Noticing something is wrong with the people around you, but not exactly knowing what is something The Stranger adores playing around with. That and clowns, I guess.

Fun fact: The ‘56 version was originally set to have a more miserable ending, but the studio forced the director to shove in some feel-good end instead. I think the more nihilistic ‘78 version revels in that opportunity instead. It also features a cameo by the main character of the original, so it’s almost a self-titled sequel, in a way.

The Thing (1982)

The ultimate in alien terror.

What is there to say about The Thing that hasn’t already been said? Its practical effects are disgusting, grotesque, and unlike anything that has come before (or since). My favorite John Carpenter movie bar-none. Everyone from Kurt Russel to Keith David to even the dog is so good in this movie.

The main characters getting picked off by a bloodthirsty creature that can look like any one of them at any time makes this movie a paranoia-fueled, tense nightmare and I love it. They work through who among them (lol) might be an alien in really smart ways. It has quite a bit of body horror and nasty practical effects, but I would still recommend you watch this anyway.

Games like Among Us are heavily inspired by its premise (and I think InnerSloth credits this movie directly for inspiration). If you haven’t seen The Thing (1982) yet, I cannot recommend this movie enough. Just watch it.

Listen, a movie rec list covering The Stranger wouldn’t be complete without some reference to clowns or the circus. What shape-shifting, fear-hungry clown suits this Entity better than Pennywise? If you say the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, I stg...

Obvious references to Tumblr’s obsession with 2017′s Pennywise aside, both iterations of Stephen King’s IT are fun in different ways. Tim Curry’s 1990 mini-series Pennywise is a lot goofier while still being off-putting while Bill Skarsgard’s Pennywise leans more towards being sinister.

Both operate like a creature of The Stranger, in that they lure in their victims with something seemingly innocent and familiar before flipping it into something unfamiliar and wrong. Literally the definition of stranger danger.

To be honest (and I think most people agree), the kids’ half of the story is way more fun than the adult stuff. It: Chapter Two’s cast is fantastic, but it doesn’t totally save the latter half of the story being a bit laughable compared to what their kid versions faced. Probably because (spoilers) they literally bully Pennywise to death. Like how can you not find that fucking hilarious what the fuck.

(Spoilers over) Obligatory clown/circus-related movie lol. They’re both set in different time periods, which reflect different kinds of fears of the time. The 1990 version is set in the 1950s/1970s and the 2017 version is set in the 1980s/2010s. I think both are worth a watch, though you can watch whichever you feel like and you’ll get pretty much the same experience.

They Live (1988)

If I had a nickel for every time John Carpenter made a movie in the 80s about aliens disguising themselves as human, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.

All jokes aside, They Live is a horror-comedy that definitely leans more into the comedy and social commentary than horror. Whether you find the alien designs horrifying is more personal preference (I find them kinda goofy), but what they set out to accomplish is still pretty relevant today.

Even the regular humans in this movie fail to trust each other or are immediately shut down when they try. It also has one of the LONGEST fight scenes I’ve ever seen in my life (it’s kinda hilarious how long it goes on tbh). Definitely recommend if you need something light to start off with.

Under the Skin (2013)

“You don't want to wake up, do you?”

I will admit, Under the Skin is an artsy film that will not be to everyone’s tastes, but I think it’s accessible enough for those new to horror to try out, too. It definitely requires subtitles if you have trouble understanding thick accents, though.

Under the Skin is about an alien disguised as a human woman luring unsuspecting men to her domain. What ends up happening to them is something I don’t want to spoil. The imagery is so haunting and surreal that it’s hard for me to describe, anyway.

I also think it’s an interesting look into what an alien (or in TMA, any Entity-born creature) might do if it wanted to look beyond its purpose and join humanity. Think Agnes Montague if she was an Avatar of The Stranger instead of The Desolation, I suppose. It’s as tragic as it is unsettling.

END

That’s it for The Stranger! Most of these are classics that most people have seen, but I still feel like these are very fitting.

If you guys want a Part 2, I could definitely delve into movies that dive more into Uncanny Valley territory. I want these rec lists to be more a crash course into horror rather than digging deep into the weirder stuff I’ve seen (just yet).

More Entity rec lists:

The Eye

#The Magnus Archives #The Stranger #Invasion of the Body Snatchers #The Thing #It #They Live #Under the Skin #rec list #horror #horror movies #long post

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thebonerpit · 1 year ago

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Idk if anyone follows my posts enough to even notice this but you may have seen me talking about a lot of new things I've watched so far this year, both tv and film. I kind of made a mini resolution to do this because I found, especially at the end of 2023, that I was stuck in a rut of either rewatching old things or mindlessly flipping through YouTube videos I had little to no interest in. There's so much media out there I'm interested in and now I feel almost reinvigorated to go through it and I've been having a blast.

Most of the time I'll probably just reblog a gifset or two with thoughts in the tags but I finally watched the Interview with the Vampire tv show and I have FEELINGS (mostly good)! Spoilers for season one and I do talk about book things that eventually happen so beware in case you don't know and want to continue the show completely blind...

So I kinda put off watching this at first because the Vampire Chronicles books are some of my favourites, and while it did have its own issues, the 1994 film holds a special place in my heart. I was like... do we really need anything else? But I'm glad I gave it a chance because the show was able to go so much further in so many aspects and also now we have a chance to actually see even more of the book events take place!

I'm gonna say up front that almost every character felt very different from how they are in the book except for Lestat. Lestat was actual perfection and I cannot BELIEVE someone did a (dare I say) even better job than Tom Cruise who gave the performance of his life in the film. Sam Reid's Lestat is unhinged and dramatic and terrifying and sad and cringe and yet also loveable and it was a masterpiece of acting. For the majority of the other characters I really didn't mind the differences and in some instances I thought they were actually improved. Daniel Molloy, for example, who is basically Anthony Bourdain? Perfection. Louis who is yes kind of pathetic and dramatic like the book, but also is volatile and complicated which Lestat is drawn to right from the beginning instead of only after having his little breakdown caused by his brother's death? Excellent. Armand who is older and looks nothing like the Armand described in the books but I can see without any problem how Marius fell madly deeply insanely in love with him because he's GORGEOUS and has this unsettling serenity about him? Give. Me. MORE.

The only issue I really had was with Claudia. I see people praising her all over the place so I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion but I hated that they aged her up so much. The most compelling thing about Claudia as a character is that she is an adult woman trapped in the body of a literal CHILD. A pre-pubescent child. Not a teenager. It's absolutely horrifying and it should be horrifying. Now, I will say, I saw an article where they talked about part of the reason behind this choice being that they needed the actor to work longer hours and it was impossible for a kid to do that, plus the very intense material, and I fully FULLY support any protections for child actors because the industry is insane. But it does make me sad and I wish there was some way they could have worked around it. I get what they tried to do with teenage Claudia but it just fell flat for me. And also the actress really looks her age (I think she's 20?) so like the few times where people were making fun of her for "playing dress up" or whatever I'm like... she fully looks like an older teen at LEAST what are you talking about lol. Also I thought her accent was kind of bad.

But honestly, that was really the only problem I had with the whole series. I absolutely loved how they went full-on explicit with the Lestat/Louis romance and the chemistry between the two of them was... WOOF. I was actually really interested in the modern portions too, mostly because Anthony Bour-- I mean Daniel Molloy was so entertaining lol. I loved how he pushed and pushed at Louis and their whole back and forth was brilliant. Although putting on my archivist's hat for a second to be outraged at Daniel consenting to wearing the cotton gloves to handle the diaries but then eating a fucking sandwich right beside the book???? Absolutely not lol. It was so much fun to see the Armand reveal (which I was spoiled for somehow but that's ok) especially knowing that Armand eventually turns Daniel and boy oh boy I hope they go long enough to get to that. I loved the continued references to Lestat's love of music which makes me hope they're planting seeds to make rock star Lestat a little more believable lol (god can you even imagine?? And we don't talk about the Queen of the Damned movie ok).

As for S2, I'm so excited for Paris and the Théâtre des Vampires and HELLO Ben Daniels as Santiago!!! Omg so hype for that. And it's going to be so interesting to see the Armand/Louis relationship as well because I mean it's always going to be Lestat/Louis and Armand/Marius for me so Louis being like "he's the love of my life"... girl. (And speaking of Armand/Marius please GOD give us some flashbacks because they are my Vampire Chronicles OTP and I need to see that whole story including my girl Bianca thank youuuuu).

Yeah so overall I'm quite positive about the whole thing and sincerely hope that they get many more seasons because there's so many interesting stories in those books and we've only ever gotten a TINY portion on screen.

#tbptalks #interview with the vampire #in addition to watching new things i'm apparently also reverting to my livejournal days and writing long rambly posts about media lol #i like throwing my opinions into the void ok sometimes i just need to get them out there #and when i have a lot to say i don't like using the tags on someone else's post

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incompetentmedic · 2 years ago

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So I finished watching the last episode of Demon Slayer last night, so here are my thoughts on the entire anime as a whole

[OBVIOUSLY MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD]

God that ending. Fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show successfully get me to fucking beg for a dumb bullshit plot armor deus ex machina before. I don’t care if it made no sense I don’t care if it’s bad writing I’m just happy Nezuko survived. And the sheer amount of skill it takes to make me care about a character that much is impressive.

I’m kind of sad that we didn’t get any filler in the latter seasons. I would’ve loved to see how the relationship between the main 4 changed during and after each major arc. Also I want more yaoi moments.

Jar guy’s final form is honestly kinda hot

I could write a whole essay on how effectively the writers utilized unreliable worldbuilding to show us that demons are all evil and Nezuko is the only exception, then slowly lead us to the conclusion that nonviolent demons have always existed and purposely make themselves as invisible as possible. I cannot stress enough how good the worldbuilding in this show is

I appreciate the lengths that the series goes through to humanize it’s villains and show us how the demons are pushed into lives of violence as symptoms of larger systemic issues

That being said, the “sudden backstory montage right before the monster of the week dies” starts to feel a bit lazy after the 10th time they do it. I understand that all these character backstories couldn’t succinctly fit in the first season, but it leaves us with a lot of deaths that could’ve been a lot more impactful if we had been introduced to these characters earlier. I’ll have to read the manga and see if it’s handled better

On the topic of lazy writing, I’m really not a fan of Zenitsu’s whole “sleep transformation” thing. It feels like a gimmicky way to get out of writing character growth

Back to the good stuff now. 52 episodes and the main character does not fall in love with a single person. Aros everywhere are celebrating

When I first heard the premise of the entertainment district arc, that the 3 male main characters disguise themselves as women to infiltrate a brothel, I was completely ready to drop the series. But if I’m being honest, they handled that arc just about perfectly. I obviously can’t speak for the transgender community and maybe I’m just ignorant, but the whole arc seemed pretty supportive of the concept of changing your gender. I’d argue that Zenitsu seemed a lot more happy and fulfilled as a girl than they did as a boy. The series also has one of the best depictions of sex workers I’ve seen on television

Everything in mugen train was literally perfect. I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. I hope whoever wrote that arc gets $750,000,000 in the mail and free gourmet meals forever.

I love Inosuke’s gay ass crush on Tanjiro. King shit

I complained about Zenitsu’s character arc earlier but I must admit his writing in the spider forest mini-arc was fucking phenomenal. We love it when comic relief characters experience personal growth and start to carry serious narrative weight

The way that Nezuko speaks at the very end. She speaks slowly and abruptly. She can only manage a word or two at a time, and even then only simple ones. It takes her 3 whole attempts to say her first word. Its so god damn impactful watching her stumble through speech after spending so long being physically incapable of speaking. I love that scene so much

I really hope we get a season 5. I want to know where tanjiro and Nezuko go from here. Do they stay in the corps? Do they settle down to a peaceful life, now that Nezuko is, in most respects, functionally human? Or is Nezuko not content with her current state, leading them to continue searching for a total cure? How will the more skeptical and conservative hashira react to knowing that Nezuko, who they already consider a liability, is now powerful enough to withstand direct sunlight? How will her relationships with Inosuke and Zenitsu change? All of these questions would be answered if I read the manga but I’m too lazy to do that so I’m gonna have to wait for the next season, if they make one.

Overall this was one of, if not The Best, shonen anime ever made

#long post #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba

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totallynotreadingatwork · 1 year ago

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Mini Book Review Dump

Ahahaha so as with all things I'm hopeless at keeping up with updating stuff. Too busy reading to blog about reading, you know how it is. In the time I've been forgetting to post I've read the following books:

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern - I really really liked it; it felt (now bear with me here) like a kind of spiritual successor to Alice in Wonderland. Not with the plot or the characters, but just in the sense of wonder and exploration it evoked.

Slither's Tale by Joseph Delaney, book 12 of The Wardstone Chronicles - It was weird to follow a completely different character to the ones the rest of the series focuses on, but it was interesting to see a new place and meet new species of dark creature. And Grimalkin showed up so I'm a happy gal.

The Sisters of Reckoning by Charlotte Nicole Davis, book 2 of The Good Luck Girls duology - I cannot actually express how much I loved this book without giving away the plot in major ways. Just know that it was a perfect sequel in that all the things that you wish would have happened in the previous book happened in this one, and it was glorious. I love it. I'm going to have to actually buy myself copies of these so I can have them forever (I got both from the library so don't own them... yet)

The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan, book 1 of the Heroes of Olympus series - This one is a re-read; I originally read them as they were coming out and just kinda felt like revisiting them since I only read them through the once. I, like everyone else, just adore Riordan's writing and characters, and you don't need me to tell you it was good.

Near the Bone by Christina Henry - Honestly not her best work. I was kind of disappointed; the characters felt a bit flat, there was a lot of repetitiveness to the writing that was more annoying than anything, and the ending was very sudden and didn't really give much closure or any answers. If you're new to Henry's books, don't start with this one (start with Lost Boy).

The Fever Code by James Dashner, book 5 (or 0.5, or 2, depending on how you like to order series) of The Maze Runner series - I would say this is the worst book in the series, but that's only because all the others are so good. This one was decent, but we ultimately knew the fate of the characters and WICKED from the previous books so a lot of the stakes just didn't feel real. We knew Thomas couldn't be harmed or die because he needs to survive for book 1 to happen. Still, it was very enjoyable, and I think if you read it before The Maze Runner then you'd enjoy it a lot more.

The Foundling by Stacy Halls - There was so much nothing that happened in this book oh my goodness. Bess's parts were good, because things actually happened in them, like her working and trying to get her daughter back, and then obviously the escape and all that jazz, but when it's Alexandra's pov you may as well just nap through it honestly that woman was so boring.

Fair Rosaline by Natasha Solomons - Another letdown honestly; I know people are entitled to interpret literature however they want, but 'Romeo is a paedo' is... a bit of a stretch to me. Thing is, I don't think I would have minded if it was done well, but it just... wasn't. I spent most of the book counting the pages until it'd be over.

So yeah, I've been busy, just not busy posting lol. Also work has been a bit manic because it's the summer holidays so I'm running children's arts and crafts groups and those are very mentally draining to me. Hopefully I can post more now though if I put my mind to it!

#books & reading #mini book review #the starless sea #slither's tale #the sisters of reckoning #the lost hero #near the bone #the fever code #the foundling #fair rosaline #I'll do more full book reviews for these eventually I promise

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fuckyeahdindjarin · 2 years ago

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Palomino Masterlist

COMPLETE | Explicit 🔞 NO minors allowed

Jack Daniels x F!Reader

Note: You guys voted for Palomino to be the next WIP after Consent, and who am I to refuse? But honestly, thank you for voting for Jack, because I've been dying to write this story. If you'd like to be tagged, please comment, reblog or sign up at my taglist.

Part 1: Palomino

Unable to get a refund for a week-long horse-riding pack trip you'd booked with your ex, you decide to go solo. As it turns out, a rebound with a cowboy named Jack while traversing the wild landscapes of Wyoming might just be what you need.

Part 2: Buckskin

It's an eventful first day on the trail, to say the least.

Part 3: Dapple Grey

Tinder is a dangerous game. So is Never Have I Ever.

Part 4: Strawberry Roan

Jack pulls out all the stops for your birthday. All of them.

Part 5: Appaloosa

You and Jack play house for a day.

Part 6: Mustang

On the fifth day, you leave the Halfway House behind, and the conversation turns homeward.

Part 7: Fleabitten

You and Jack spend your last night together in the mountains - for now.

Part 8: Silver Pony

And just like that, your week at the Statesman Ranch comes to an end, leaving you grappling with the prospect of saying goodbye to Jack.

Part 9: Warmblood

The hardest goodbye you’ll ever say.

Oneshots & drabbles

Deleted scenes from the series that I didn't have the word count for.

Bernaise: You watch Jack cook. Deleted scene from Part 4 - Strawberry Roan.

If Only: Jack smiles and brushes a thumb across your cheek. If only you knew.

Peeks into Jack and Darlin's life after the end of the series.

Pressing: Jack marks you as his in an unexpected way.

Real: You call Jack after running into your ex at a wedding.

Cowgirl Aesthetics: 'This dress won't last ten minutes in a real horse yard and you know it, darlin''.'

Headcanons

Miscellaneous headcanons - some requested, some no one asked for.

Visuals

Mostly made/commissioned for A Palomino Farewell.

Special edition chapter banners

Horses of Palomino

Palominogram: About last night

Palominogram: The cellar

Commissioned art

Belt buckle inspiration

Moodboard: Buckskin

Moodboard: Palomino

Horse girl representation

Recipes

Mama Daniels' express chili: featured in Fleabitten

Poppy's chocolate & rum cupcakes: featured in Strawberry Roan

Bonus content

Art and misc. generously gifted by my sweetest friends ❤️

A Palomino Farewell

Palomino playlist

A birthday message from cowboy Jack and Cowboy yearning by the most talented @guiltypleasure-art

Palomino edit by the loveliest Heidi @wildemaven

Moodboard by the sweetest Keira @k-ra

Playlist by sweetest Sil @psychedelic-ink for A Palomino Farewell

Palomino-inspired cocktail recipe by darlin' Skye @iamskyereads

I can't believe that Palomino now has its own cocktail!!! I'm so honoured that Skye created and shared this recipe with us. All the elements are perfect, from the Campfire whiskey (Darlin's favourite time of the day - snuggling with Jack by the fire), apple (If Only reference) and Ginger (who convinced Darlin' not to cancel the trip). I cannot wait to try this cocktail myself, thank you so so much my love ❤️

More notes: This is a very personal story to me as I grew up loving and riding horses. I've been lucky enough to go on several horseriding holidays, and I'm writing directly from experience - except the hot cowboy part, sadly. Even if you don't ride, I hope you enjoy this story, and I will be the happiest writer if I impart to you even a fraction of the joy of exploring the great outdoors from the back of a steady (or speedy) steed.

{ Inspo }

{ Main Masterlist | Taglist }

#kingsman the golden circle #jack daniels #agent whiskey #jack daniels x f!reader #jack daniels x you #jack daniels fanfic #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels fanfiction #kingsman fanfiction #jack daniels AU

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yoonia · 3 years ago

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slow dancing ● chapter vii

➬ Title | Slow Dancing: a mini series

➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader

↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut

➥ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; for sexual tension, making out scene, kissing, explicit (kinda?) sexual scene, implied first time sex, unprotected sex.

➥ Word count | 12k words

➥ Chapter List | Glossary | ⤎ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ⇢

➥ Masterlist

➥ Author’s note | Finally, a long chapter! I had to stop myself from splitting this one into two chapters because I didn’t want to ruin the context when this part seems to hold a lot of things that are important to the story. Thank you for your patience with this one, I hope you’ll enjoy reading this chapter :)

chapter vii. then we fall

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

You have heard this line many times before spoken in some of those Western movies that you have watched in the past, mostly happening in the wedding scenes, where some random hero would then jump to their feet and say something that would later send the entire plot into motion. You have no recollection of hearing these words anywhere or anytime in real life, to ever hear them used to force someone to speak the truth or to spill any life-altering secrets in the eyes of the public that might turn someone’s entire world tilting off its axis.

In all honesty, you had never truly known what these words truly meant or what they could do. Not until now, as you recount them to yourself, repeating the line in your head as many times as you need to until the words finally sink in.

Speak now.

Or forever hold your silence.

And forever keep the person you truly love in the dark about your circumstances and how your lives are going to change.

At first, you had planned to talk to Jungkook and reveal everything before the new year comes, as the thought of starting the new year with lies had made you feel like a terrible person. But your work and Jungkook’s busy schedule had forced you to push the entire problem to the back of your mind, then New Year’s Eve came and went, followed by the trips to visit both of your families for the New Year ceremony and the weekend you spent reuniting with your extended family. The events just kept on lining up from one to another, leaving you no chance to find the perfect time to talk and be completely honest with him about your soulmate.

And now that you have returned to Seoul, with no more obstacles coming in your way until your work schedules would start taking over your life again, it seems like you would no longer have any excuse to put this off any longer. You have no idea how he would react, but you certainly cannot imagine keeping this secret for the rest of your lives together. You have already kept this secret for far too long already as it is.

And with Jungkook returning to work right the moment you came back from your trip, the possibility of you crossing paths with Namjoon in the future will only grow bigger, and the chances of the secret unfolding itself to Jungkook—and most possibly getting him hurt even more because of it—will surely grow stronger.

Which is why I need to tell him tonight.

Glancing at the clock hanging on the wall while you are busy fixing up tonight’s dinner, you silently pray that everything is going to go well tonight. At least, you have hopes that by making his favourite dish tonight, it will make it easier for you to smooth things out before you would have to reveal everything. From the outside, you might seem calm, keeping it together while you are handling everything in the kitchen. Inside, however, you are a complete mess.

The moment you are done, you begin to pace around in your wait. Minutes pass by, and Jungkook has yet to walk through the front door when he would usually be home around this hour. He rarely stays late without letting you know about it and is never one to stay the night at the studio like his other co-workers, so you cannot help it when in your wait, your mind immediately launches into wondering about all the things that might have happened to keep him away. The longer you wait, the more nervous you become. Your stomach coils with uncertainty and dread that you cannot seem to shake off.

What if something had gone wrong? What if he had somehow found out and decided not to come home? How have you never thought of this possibility before?

You shake your head, refusing to accept the possibility of it happening, yet the foreboding feeling continues to creep inside you, growing worse with each passing second that you are waiting for him to come home. Soon enough, somewhere between the continuous pacing back and forth, you begin to realise that the unsettling feeling is not coming from him being late or for worrying about the reason why, but from the fact that you are dreading the moment you are supposed to talk to him.

You have been nervous about it for the longest time, and now that you are about to tell him the whole truth, possibly jeopardising everything that you had built together with him for years, the feeling becomes unbearable to deal with.

And the wait is only making it even worse.

Just when you are about to give up, the phone starts vibrating in your hand, and his text message appears on the screen. Though the words that you receive from him aren’t exactly making it possible for you to feel relieved yet.

Jungkook: Baby, something’s come up. I might be home late tonight

Holding your breath, you carefully text back a reply,

Me: what’s wrong, baby?

It doesn’t take long for Jungkook to reply back to you.

Jungkook: Nothing’s wrong, it’s just work. We have to go through another mixing session for the last track

Jungkook: the head producer found something missing with the last recording so we’re redoing the recording

His answer finally draws a relieved sigh out of you. You are quick to feel calm now that you have heard from him, though you still cannot shake the disappointment of having your plans ruined for the night.

Me: I’m so sorry, baby

Me: have you eaten yet? I made dinner :(

Jungkook: Shit. I’m sorry.

Jungkook: no, I’ve been in the studio all night. Will order something later.

Me: No, don’t you dare. You’ll get sick again like the last time you ordered that Jajangmyeon for late dinner

Jungkook: oh, right. Maybe I can order something else?

Dropping down on the nearest chair that you can find, you bite your lips and ponder for a moment as an idea comes through your head.

Me: What if I just drop the meal at your studio tonight?

Jungkook: really? I don’t want to trouble you, baby

Jungkook: but if you can keep me company while I eat, then it’ll be fine

Sucking a deep breath, you begin to question the options.

Will it be fine, though?

Will he be there?

Shaking your head, you decide that there is no turning back. You don’t need to have another reason to put this off any longer. Even if you might miss out on a chance to talk to him privately in case his co-workers are there with him tonight, at least you will still get a chance to see him and feel better for seeing that he is okay.

Me: I’ll pack things up quickly and Uber my way to you

Jungkook: Fuck, I’m a lucky man. I’ll be waiting <3

You have been to this place a bunch of times before that the security guy at the lobby recognises you the moment you step through the front door. He only greets you with a cheerful smile before giving you the entrance access to come up on Jungkook’s floor.

“Sending out dinner for the big man?” the security guy teases you as he glances down at the bag you are holding, making you laugh.

“The perks of having a busy fiancé,” you answer him jokingly with a shrug, while the man nods at you after guiding you to the elevator lobby.

“He’s up in the studio. He’s been at it for hours, the second elevator will take you straight up.”

“Thank you!”

This late in the evening, despite knowing that there are probably still others up there working in different studios, the ride up towards his floor feels so quiet. Too quiet, even, that you can almost hear the sound of your palpitating heart echoing against the walls inside the moving elevator. You are glad that you have nobody else riding up with you, however, because there is no way anyone would miss the way you are practically shaking from head to toe out of nerves. If only you don’t have your fingers wrapped around the bag filled with boxes of food, practically clutching it against you, you know that you would be fidgeting and pulling your hands together by now.

Take a deep breath, you remind yourself as the elevator slows on his floor, and you step out carefully in fear that you would stumble, keeping your footsteps light as you walk down the hallway to find his studio.

The studio that Jungkook has always used isn’t the biggest or the fanciest one on this floor, and he wasn’t originally given his own personal space until recently, when he managed to prove himself worthy with the success of the tracks that he released not too long after he joined the company. Your body moves on autopilot as you march down the long hallway, finding his studio right at the end, marked with the animated bunny sticker plastered on the glass door. After you had contacted him that you were on your Uber ride with his dinner, he had told you to just come right in, regardless of the possibility of him being too busy to notice. That is why the moment you find the door left slightly ajar, you simply knock on it gently a few times and push it wider without any question.

Except that the moment you step through the door, the person you find standing in the middle of the room isn’t your fiancé, but somebody else whose eyes immediately grow wide at your presence before he steels his gaze on you.

“Hello,” he greets you with his deep voice. The voice that stirs the insides of your stomach, making your gut swirl and your mind spin like crazy that you have to grip tightly on the door handle to stop yourself from swaying on your feet.

Snapping out of it, you raise your chin and force yourself to look into his eyes. “I thought—” you try to speak, stopping short when your voice comes out as nothing but a gasp. Clearing your throat, you avoid his gaze to find your voice again. “Jungkook said you haven’t been around.”

Namjoon’s face remains unreadable and distant as he nods, and for some reason, you hate not being able to know what he is thinking about. “I was out of town, yes. But I got back a couple of days before New Year’s Eve.”

“Right,” you choke out your answer and nod. “I should probably go. I shouldn’t be here.”

Hearing this, Namjoon tilts his head and asks you curiously, “Why shouldn’t you? Maybe you should stay. Jungkook wouldn’t be gone for long.” You dare yourself to look into his eyes just then, noticing how his eyes darken when he easily says, “Or maybe we can talk while we’re both here.”

You wish that you could laugh or scoff at his offer, but it is hard to do so when your words seem to get caught in your throat and your body is doing all the silly things that you cannot handle—like fluttering for no reason from hearing his voice alone. “Talk? About what?” you finally ask him. You had intended to sound bitter, and yet your voice only softens when you speak.

Perhaps that is why his gaze softens just a notch—so does his voice—when he speaks again, “You know what we should be talking about. It’s been years overdue, don’t you think?”

This time, you manage to scoff at him. “Am I the one to blame for that?”

“No, absolutely not,” he says as he looks at you with a mix of regret and a bit of a humorous look in his eyes. Though he quickly changes his expression when he asks, “But we can’t keep going on pretending like nothing is happening, right?”

You have nothing to say to respond to him because he is right. And you hate that he is right. As much as you want to move on and forget everything, to keep on living while acting like meeting him had never happened, the circumstances that you are both in would never allow you to.

Not when Jungkook is involved.

Resigning with a sigh, you enter the room slowly and close the door behind you, secluding both of you inside so that whatever you are about to say to each other would never leave this place. “Fine. Let’s talk,” you tell him as you place the bag filled with your home-cooked dinner on the table and cross your arms over your chest, using them as a protective shield.

Lowering his head, Namjoon rubs his chin as he takes a moment to think. For a moment, you feel a sense of relief for seeing that you are not the only one who is left speechless and at a loss at this. But then he looks up, only to have his gaze falling on your wrist. A flash of recognition comes into his eyes when he sees your soulmate mark.

The mark that is sneakily showing itself as the long sleeves of your sweater is pulled back when you absentmindedly lift your left hand to touch your hair out of nerves.

Right at that moment, a glint of anger rises from him, shown by the way his jaw is clenching tightly, when he realises that you had tried to cover the initials of his name with a drawing of a leaf that would have seen completely out of place if someone had looked closer.

“Does Jungkook know?” he asks while scanning through your face, and a knowing look passes through his eyes to what he finds in your eyes. “You haven’t told him, have you?”

Falling silent, you look away from him briefly. There is no need for him to elaborate on his question. He realises that Jungkook has yet to figure out that it was his initials written on your wrist. Pressing your lips together, you hide the shame that is trying to crawl all over your face before admitting, “No, I haven’t.”

Again, Namjoon answers you with a nod. “I had suspected that would be the case. Jungkook has always been quite upfront when it comes to voicing his thoughts and seeking answers, always speaking his mind when he needs to, and yet he hasn’t mentioned anything about the connection we share when I have no doubt that he had gotten a good look at your soulmate mark.”

Just then, you run your gaze down to his wrist, finding him doing the same as what you have been doing by covering his tattoo with the sleeve of his shirt. And yet you can still see the red petals peeking from the unbuttoned cuffs, as if the tattoo is silently mocking you with its existence. Seeing him here, standing in the middle of Jungkook’s studio, you can suddenly picture them working together and sitting side by side, and your heart drops.

“Have he seen your mark, then?” you find yourself asking, suddenly feeling like an idiot for not even considering the possibility of Jungkook seeing his mark and recognising it as the identical twin to your tattoo.

At your question, Namjoon looks down and lifts his arm, allowing you to see his soulmate mark more clearly before he slowly fixes his cuffs to cover them. “No, I’ve been covering it since the tattoo appeared. He had noticed that I have the tattoo, though. But I don’t think he has ever had the chance to have a good look at it to recognise it yet.”

Even if you are not quite sure if that is true, knowing how perceptive Jungkook could be, you still accept his answer by nodding your head slowly.

“We were supposed to meet that night years ago, back in college,” Namjoon calmly says, though you can still sense the underlying question in his words.

“The only thing that changed that night was having my timer stopping and this—mark, appearing on my wrist after seeing you in that house,” you tell him while waving your left arm, flashing the tattoo to his eyes. Then you look straight into his eyes and add, “After I heard everything you said. Every word, every promise, the lengthy explanation you gave to your friend about why you didn’t want to have a soulmate and why it didn’t matter if fate wanted you to welcome someone into your life when you had something else in mind.”

Namjoon swallows hard. “So, you were there—” he says, sighing deeply as he lowers his head. “That explains everything.”

His voice is low as he mutters those words, but you can still hear it. You tilt your head at him questioningly when he looks at you again, not sure what he had meant by it. As if he knows what you are silently asking him, he calmly explains everything to you.

“My timer did stop that night, right when it reached zero seconds. But it simply froze up and the soulmate mark didn’t show up until that night when I saw you at Bovine.”

Frowning, your eyes find his wrist again as you imagine how he could have had a different experience to yours with the mark. “How is that possible?”

Laughing bitterly, Namjoon shakes his head and shrugs. “The only theory that I can make out of it is that it happened because I didn’t see you.”

You look at him and scoff. “I’ve figured as much. You were too preoccupied at the time to notice me there, after all,” you tell him, before pressing your lips together to hold back the words that almost come slipping out of you when you are suddenly taken back to that night, the events from then begin unfolding inside your head once again.

Too busy rejecting me. Too engrossed in welcoming another girl into your arms when the one you were supposed to be waiting for was standing merely a few feet away.

“Why didn’t you just show up and come up to me?” he suddenly asks you, though there is a strain in his voice when he says them. “You could’ve let me know that you were there.”

With an incredulous laugh coming out of you, you respond to him with, “Show up to do what, exactly? To humiliate myself by approaching you when you had clearly just flat out rejected me? Did you want me to beg? As if I would just walk up to you after you embarrassed me right in front of all those strangers who were listening to your rant about how much you hated the thought of accepting a soulmate and while you were busy shoving your tongue into some other girl’s mouth!”

“I didn’t know you were there!” he snaps, and it pushes you further into your rage.

“Your timer showed you that we were meeting each other! What did you expect, that fate would randomly decide to change its mind and cancel everything because you didn’t want it to happen yet?”

Namjoon runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated groan. Just when you expect him to yell even harder at you, he releases a deep sigh and looks at you in the eyes. “I admit my mistake. I own up to it. I was an idiot and I’m sorry that you had to witness all of that,” he says, somehow finding his calm, not knowing how his deep voice continues to rise the odd flutters in your chest that you wish you could brush off just so you can think more clearly. “I regret that it had been the reason why you and Jungkook met each other that night. But as much as I refused to have faith in the universe back then, I would like to believe that there is a reason why our paths must cross once again and why we are meeting each other again this way after so long has passed.”

His words shouldn’t affect you in any way. You had told yourself that you would be strong enough to fight it, but deep down, you find some truth in everything that he just said to you. It is not enough to sway your heart, though it still has your head spinning. And yet that is not the reason why you are feeling wary and on the edge.

You had only experienced meeting him in person twice before tonight.

The first one being in that frat house, with him standing in the kitchen while you were hidden in the shades just outside of the doorway. The second one was at the dinner, on the same night you had accepted your lover’s proposal, unknowingly doing so right in front of your ‘true’ soulmate, just like how he had unknowingly spoken his words of rejection right to your face.

This would be the first time you are standing in the same exact room as he is. To be in this close proximity that you can breathe in a whiff of his cologne and feel the rumbling in your chest that comes from his deep voice. Everything else seems muted as you listen to his voice until the only thing that you can sense is his presence.

As he is speaking to you, almost immediately, you feel as if you are under compulsion, lured and entranced by the sound of his voice that you unconsciously take a step closer to him, and then another, and another, until you are less than an arm’s length away from each other.

“What are you doing to me?” you ask him with a gasp, barely catching yourself just when you are about to take another step towards him.

With a grim look on his face and an odd glint showing in his eyes, Namjoon easily answers you with, “It’s the soulmate bond pulling us towards each other.”

You press your lips together, frowning when you are annoyed at yourself for not being able to fight this. Annoyed to see that he barely shows any reaction at all. “I don’t see you moving.”

He grits his teeth, and his eyes grow darker when he says, “You’re not looking close enough.”

Looking down between you both, you finally realise that you are not the only one that has been moving. Just like how you had unconsciously moved further away from the door, Namjoon no longer stands close to the empty seats in front of Jungkook’s computer. Just like you, he had moved a few steps away and much closer to you, and the only thing keeping him together is the tight clench of his fists on either side of his body which seem to be shaking as he holds himself back.

Snapping out of it, you jump a step backwards with a gasp. “This means nothing. You know that, right?”

With a scoff leaving his mouth, Namjoon sneers at you and says, “The soulmate marks are showing otherwise. The way our bodies are reacting to this also proves it. Everything that is happening now only shows that we’re the intended pair.”

His words make you laugh in disbelief. “Seriously? Well, it meant nothing to you back then, so why does it matter now? I’m with Jungkook now, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“He stole you from me!” he suddenly says, nearly shouting as the volume of his voice rises in anger, which only ignites your own.

“You rejected me!” you snap at him. Pointing your finger at him, you continue to voice your frustration, giving him the reality check that he seems to be ignoring. “You made the choice. I moved on. I took what was given to me and never looked back. If you decide that you want something different now, then it’s on you. Whatever fate wanted for us ended when you wanted nothing from it and it doesn’t change just because we finally meet each other because I’ve made my choice.”

Namjoon falls silent instead of responding to you. The silence simply grows thicker just as the tension rises, but you somehow feel like the weight that you have been carrying has been passed on.

“If that’s all you have to say and if there’s nothing more to talk about, then I think I should leave. I’ll let Jungkook know that I’ve already dropped his dinner here,” you tell him with a sigh, barely looking his way before you turn away to leave.

Just as you are about to reach for the door, Namjoon stops you by questioning, “What happens if he finds out?”

With a quick inhale of breath, you look over your shoulder to answer. “I won’t hide anything from him. He will know everything about our—predicament. I will tell him everything that he needs to know. If I can’t do it tonight, then I will eventually find a way to let him know,” you say to him while looking at him in the eyes, keeping your voice firm and calm when you add, “And he will understand that I am not leaving.”

Namjoon clenches his jaw. “Is that right? Then I guess we’ll see what happens then.”

You say nothing else to him just then, choosing to turn away and open the door to leave, only to stop with a gasp when you find your lover standing right on the other side of the doorway with his eyes opened wide and his hand reaching out as if he was just about to enter the studio.

“Jungkook—”

Jungkook had no idea what to expect when he returned to the studio.

It wasn’t that he had deliberately left the room when he knew you were coming. He just couldn’t exactly refuse when his producer had asked him to come and check the archive files in another studio before they could continue their mixing process tonight. He had thought that he would only be leaving for a short while, thinking that he should finish up what he could so that he could wait for you without any disruption. He hadn’t expected that he would be away for so long, and it shouldn’t have taken him by surprise to find that you had arrived while he was still out.

The only thing that he was not expecting to find was to see that Namjoon had been in the studio to wait for him as well.

He still has no idea what happened while he was gone, but he knows that something must have gone down. All the years he spent being together with you had allowed him to learn how to read your moods and to see the signs when something is wrong—from the way your shoulders would tense when you are holding back your emotions, to the way he can feel your rage rolling out of you even when you fake a smile and pretend that things are okay.

It was easy for him to see how upset you were when you were stepping out of the studio, barely able to avoid colliding against him when he was just about to enter at the same time, though he cannot even begin to think of what could have been the reason for you to be on the edge or if it had anything to do with Namjoon being in the studio when you came in.

And now, he can feel the tension in the room growing so thick that Jungkook can imagine himself cutting through it with a knife just to be able to breathe. Namjoon had excused himself earlier, only for Jungkook to stop him from leaving. He has no idea why he did it, other than the fact that he had always wanted his good friend and his fiancé to get along. But now, as he is sitting together with you by his side on the small couch at the corner of the studio to enjoy the dinner that you had made for him, sharing a few dishes with Namjoon who is sitting across from him, he can feel the tension coming stronger from you, and he begins to question if he had made a mistake of inviting his friend to stay.

“…glad I decided to add in some extra rice just in case you needed more since I know you always get hungry while you’re working, so we can share with your friend,” your voice snaps him back to the present, and he quickly smiles at you, feeling grateful that you had gone through so much trouble in cooking for him and to bring them all the way here, though the way you seem so nervous when you were speaking doesn’t sit well with him.

He chalks it off by thinking that perhaps it is all due to Namjoon being here, which is the reason why he has been trying his best to lighten things up so that everyone will feel more comfortable around each other.

“This is all so good, babe. You’ve gone through so much trouble for this. Thank you,” he says to you while he looks over everything that you had set up for him. He is surprised to see that you have cooked so much that he begins to wonder if he had missed out on something that you may have wanted to celebrate tonight. But then he looks over to notice that you had barely eaten enough when you had let him and Namjoon enjoy the meal more. “Are you sure you’re eating enough? You should eat more. You shouldn’t worry about us, we can get something else later if we need some snacks.”

“It’s fine. I ate a little before coming here,” you answer him with a small grin, and for some reason, Jungkook can feel that you are lying. He silently wonders if it has anything to do with how uncomfortable you seem that you can barely sit still.

As if you are on the verge of running.

“There’s still more at home, so I can eat later while I wait for you to come home if I want to,” you answer him, barely glancing at Namjoon as you offer them to finish the remaining dishes.

Thinking that you are simply nervous around his friend, still not familiar with Namjoon’s presence, he simply lets things go. The dinner continues with light chats shared between the three of you and slowly, the tension begins to dwindle even though you are still keeping your answers short and courteous whenever Jungkook tries to get you and Namjoon to talk and open up more.

Before Jungkook realises it, the dinner ends too soon. You don’t even waste time and start cleaning up the mess, packing up the empty boxes of food and the utensils that you had brought him before you quietly pack up your purse and put on your jacket again. “I should probably go home and get out of your way so you can continue working.”

Surprised to see you rushing to leave, Jungkook quickly grabs your hand to stop you. “Are you sure? It’s late. I know that watching me work might get boring, but maybe we can get home together?”

Looking up at him, you only give him a small smile. “I don’t want to be on your way. I can order an Uber to take me home. It’s fine.”

“Why don’t I call my driver to take you instead?” Namjoon suddenly speaks, surprising both you and Jungkook with his offer, while Jungkook can feel you once again growing tense once he speaks. Though your odd reaction becomes the last thing in his mind when he finds himself feeling uneasy about something else. He had been wondering why Namjoon has been more curious and attentive about you, and this attention doesn’t exactly sit well in his gut. As if the man can sense that Jungkook is somewhat feeling uncomfortable about the offer, Namjoon turns to him then and explains, “I won’t be needing the driver until I’m done here, so might as well have him get your fiancé home safely, don’t you think?”

“That won’t be necessary. But thank you for the offer,” you quickly refuse before Jungkook can even ask if you would be interested in it or to even question himself if he is okay with Namjoon offering so much for you. Without saying anything else, you rise from your seat, nodding at Namjoon as you say to him in a tense voice, “It was nice seeing you again.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Jungkook tells you as you quickly turn away before Namjoon could respond. Jungkook follows you to the door, rushing as he calls out to his friend on his way out, “Be right back.”

“Take your time,” Namjoon says in return. From the corner of his eyes, Jungkook can swear in his life that he sees his friend’s shoulders slumping in relief the moment you walk out the door, though the man’s eyes seem to refuse to look away from you.

Neither of you says a thing as you walk down the hallway together, though Jungkook keeps your hand in his, refusing to let go of any contact when you somehow feel so distant. The elevator lobby is empty at this time at night, and Jungkook takes the chance to pull you to him when you stop walking, pressing you against his chest as his lips descend onto yours. He cannot understand what is happening to him, but all of a sudden, he is overwhelmed with the urge to claim you, to connect with you, and to show you how deeply he cares for you, and he shows it all through his kiss.

To his relief, you instantly melt into the kiss. Your whole body simply relaxes against him while your free hand quickly finds the front of his jacket to grab onto as you push forward and deepen the kiss. His hand finds your hair, clutching a handful of it in his palm as he slips his tongue between your lips. He can feel your body shuddering upon contact, and he is relieved that you are still reacting that way to his touch. He can feel it under his palm when he reaches his other hand down the small of your back. Soon, he can also sense how the kiss is filled with deep emotions coming from you. He feels it vibrating against his chest when your heartbeat begins to pace quickly, and how your kiss grows more desperate with each passing second.

It takes a lot of effort for him to pull away from the kiss. His heart feels heavy at the thought of letting you go from his hold and allowing you to leave, but he is starting to feel the heat rising in his body. The heat that he would normally welcome wholeheartedly if it had been somewhere private where he could push you against the wall and take you until you are left breathless and until every bit of uneasiness that you both share will fade away into nothing. All he wants to do is to feel the strong bond that he shares with you to calm his restless heart and break down the wall that he feels is standing between you and him tonight.

He looks at your face, seeing how flushed you look and how your breath has grown ragged when you pull away, and Jungkook’s chest swells with pride at the sight, knowing that he is the one who had done this to you. Swallowing the desire that has been burning inside him, he takes this moment as much as he could. Thinking to himself that if he can only have this at the moment to savour, then he will take everything.

For now. Until later when he has the chance to gain more when he is alone with you.

Your eyes are glowing with pure love and desire when you look at him, and Jungkook resists the urge to pull you back into his arms. He is quiet when you place your palm on his cheeks, cupping his face as you take him in. “What time are you coming home?” you ask him as you brush a finger across his jaw, and he tilts his head to savour your touch as much as he can.

“Soon, I hope. Is there something bothering you? You seem like you have a lot going on inside that pretty little head of yours,” he asks you with his eyes on your face, studying you closely to read your emotions. He is surprised when he finds nothing, though there is a flicker of uncertainty appearing in your eyes for a moment before it fades when you smile at him.

“Everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you whisper softly, and Jungkook curses inwardly when your words confirm his thoughts earlier about you needing to have some time alone with him. “But I think it can wait. I don’t want you to lose focus over it.”

Gritting his teeth, Jungkook holds back from forcing you to speak. As much as he wants to know whatever it is that seems to be bothering you, he knows that there is no possible way that he can get you to talk about it here. “We’ll talk once I’m home. Okay?”

“Okay,” you answer him with a small voice, before you lean forward, once again taking his mouth in yours into another deep kiss that has his chest growing warm. Sadly, you pull away too soon, just before he could change his mind and cut the night short so he could come home with you. Leaning his forehead against yours, he sighs when you brush a finger across his swollen lips. “I love you. You know that, right?”

Jungkook smiles. “I know, baby,” he says, before he pulls back to kiss your temple. “I love you too.”

The elevator arrives on the floor right at that moment, and you slowly pull away. The moment he loses contact with your skin, his whole body trembles with a cold shiver running down his spine. A sense of dread fills his chest out of nowhere. He has no idea what is happening, but for some reason, it pains him to let you go.

“I’ll see you back home,” you mutter to him before you disappear inside the elevator.

Long after you are gone, Jungkook remains standing there, staring at the closed elevator doors as if you are still standing on the other side, even if he knows that you are probably already on your way home. He seems rooted to the spot, unable to shake the feeling that you are somehow fading away, that the dreams that he is building together with you are slowly falling apart, and that your words felt more like goodbye.

Jungkook was wrong.

The tension in the studio still lingers even once you are gone, even if there is nothing left here but the remnants of your presence felt through the fading warmth on the couch and the scent of home-cooked meal still faintly wafting in the air around him.

He barely managed to return to the studio after you left, but he forced himself to go back so he could finish his work and return home to you. As always, Namjoon stayed behind to help him with his project, taking the producer’s place in guiding him in the mixing process so he can speed things up. But things felt different after you were gone, when the comfort of his friend’s company seemed to have shifted and the only thing he felt was the awkward silence lingering around them as they tried to work together.

And yet he tried his best to put his attention on his work. Things had gone pretty well for a while after he managed to put things at the back of his mind. They talked about the music he has been working on like they usually would, and Jungkook was able to ignore the uneasiness that had been weighing him down until he was finally done with it.

“Should we call it a night? You’re not planning to stay the night here, right?” Namjoon’s voice fills the studio just as Jungkook stops the music from playing on his computer.

Jungkook presses his fingers on his temple. His head has been pounding for the past hour, both from working non-stop and for having to push back all the thoughts that have been circling inside his mind, and hearing Namjoon speak only seems to make things worse. He bites the insides of his cheeks to hold back from saying a thing and chooses to nod instead.

“Might be a good idea,” he says after a while, glancing at the time showing on his monitor to see that it is already past midnight. Shaking his head, he realises that you have probably gone to sleep and he probably wouldn’t have the answers that he needed tonight. “I should get home. ______’s probably asleep now, but I don’t want to make her worry, in case she wakes up to find that I’m not home yet.”

Once again, Jungkook catches a glimpse of contempt coming from Namjoon the moment he mentions your name. Something flashes in Namjoon’s eyes, an emotion that he cannot identify but at least he is quick to catch it this time before Namjoon manages to hide it the way he always does.

Clearing his throat, the man turns to Jungkook, completely oblivious to how the other has been studying him closely while he was lost in his own thoughts. “You don’t drive here, do you? Why don’t I drop you off on my way home? I still have my driver on standby and it’ll make his wait worth it if we have him drive both of us home.”

Jungkook shakes his head and chuckles softly. “You’ve done a lot for me already.”

Namjoon waves him off. “It’s nothing. You know that it’s a pleasure of mine to help.”

“Whatever you say then,” Jungkook says as he leans forward to shut his computer off. “Let me get ready to leave and clean up while you call your driver.”

Nodding, Namjoon leaves and steps out of the studio for a moment to grab his things at his office while Jungkook saves up his work and shuts everything down. It takes about another five to six minutes for Jungkook to finish cleaning up the studio and gathering all the things that he had brought with him to work. Once he is done and ready to go, he feels so physically and mentally drained that he let himself fall back on the couch.

He is still resting there with his head laid back on the backrest when Namjoon steps back into the studio, his folded suit and his suitcase in his right hand while he has his left hand raised to hold up his phone against his ear. Jungkook can see that he is not the only one who is exhausted, when he can see the tired lines on Namjoon’s face when the man walks in, too distracted with his phone call to the driver to notice the deep gaze that is following him as Jungkook keeps studying him from the distance.

For once, Jungkook is seeing for the first time how worn-out his friend seems. For as long as he had known Namjoon, the man has always been able to handle himself, even when he was at his lowest condition and on any harder days. This time, the weariness is written all over Namjoon’s face. His eyes seem unfocused even as he speaks to the driver with his instructions to pick both of them up at the front of the building, as if he is too exhausted to even think about his appearance or how he is acting at the moment.

Too exhausted to notice that the unbuttoned cuff of his sleeve has fallen a few inches down from his wrist, when he would always be ready to cover that part of the skin on any given day.

At first, Jungkook pays no attention to it. But just when Namjoon ends the phone call, merely seconds before he lowers his arm and lets his sleeve fall back down to cover his wrist, Jungkook finally understands what he has been looking at. In his shock, Jungkook finds himself unable to move. He can even barely breathe when it feels like there is a painful punch straight to his gut to push all the air in his chest out. It is a moment for him to process what he is seeing. Though, in his silence, he finds himself piecing everything together until things finally dawn on him.

“The driver will be here in about ten minutes, so we can probably get down to wait for him in the lobby in five,” Namjoon says with a tired voice, still not paying attention to Jungkook as he places his phone into his pocket and starts to absentmindedly button up his sleeves.

Jungkook finds it hard to listen to anything else that Namjoon is saying when his gut keeps on churning. All so suddenly, when he can finally ground himself again and once his head stops spinning, he finds his voice to say, “You know what? I changed my mind. I think I’d rather call an Uber or something.”

Namjoon raises his head to look at him questioningly, frowning deeper when he sees Jungkook already packing up his things and getting ready to leave. “Are you sure? It’s not really a long drive back to your place, right? I’m sure my driver won’t mind if—”

“I’m sure,” Jungkook quickly says, cutting him off and rushing towards the door. But then he stops himself, gritting his teeth for a moment as he gathers his thoughts. Stopping at the doorway, Jungkook turns to his friend, barely keeping his voice steady when he asks, “Before I go, can I ask you for a little favour?”

Namjoon looks at him curiously before asking, “What is it?”

Jungkook falls silent for a moment when he cannot seem to make up his mind. His voice seems to get caught in his throat, or perhaps his chest feels too constricted to speak that it takes a lot of effort for him to finally get the words out.

But then he straightens up, and he steels himself with the knowledge that he cannot simply walk away without knowing the truth. He looks at Namjoon straight in the eyes, not saying anything for a beat of a moment, until Namjoon’s gaze softens with a knowing look. As if his friend knows what he is about to say.

“May I take a closer look at your soulmate mark?” Jungkook finally asks his friend, doing the best he can to fight the pain that comes with each word leaving his mouth. “Because if your mark is identical to what my fiancé has on her, then I would like to see it with my own two eyes.”

You have no recollection of ever falling asleep.

The last thing you remember was waiting for Jungkook to come home, spending the night pacing restlessly until it was late near midnight when you finally sat down on the couch and turned the television on to keep you company while you continued to wait. You must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next time you open your eyes, you find yourself being lifted off the ground, held up safely by the two familiar strong arms and the fading sweet scent of your lover’s cologne engulfing you before you feel the soft plush of the mattress beneath you when you are being laid down on the bed.

You shift on top of the sheets and stretch out as your eyes flutter open, before looking up with your bleary eyes to see Jungkook looking down on you with a warm gaze in his eyes. “You’re home,” you whisper to him, sighing when he reaches down to press his palm gently on your cheek.

“Sshh—go back to sleep, baby. Sorry if I woke you up,” he whispers as he gently presses his lips on your temple.

“Come sleep with me,” you whine softly to him while barely able to keep your eyes open, drawing a soft chuckle from him.

“I will. Just sleep now. I’ll be here in the morning,” he says, though his voice is already fading when you are slowly drifting away. The last thing that you can vaguely hear before you surrender completely into sleep is the sound of his voice, murmuring softly to your ear as he presses a gentle kiss on your lips, “I love you. Always.”

His words follow you into your dreams, where you find yourself back in the same bedroom all those years ago, on the very same night you met him for the first time. In your hazy mind, you see yourself lying on his old bed, still as messy as to how you have always remembered it, and his eyes are still as warm and gentle as how you have memorised him from that night.

It feels as if you are transported back in time when you can even breathe in the same scents that had engulfed you that night—his old perfume, the fresh scent of softener covering his sheets, and the faint scent of shampoo coming from his hair as the strands fall into a curtain when he dips his head to trail down your body with his gentle kisses.

For some reason, you can feel everything. Every gentle touch of his fingers on your skin, every kiss, each brush of his hips and chest as he is moving on top of you.

“I’m so glad that I found you,” you hear his voice fading in and out like an echo in your dreams, even if you can still feel the warmth of his body pressing on yours, his broad chest sinking onto yours as he is slipping inside you, spreading your sensitive walls with his hard shaft and sending multiple sparks all over your body that has your body arching on the bed and your voice faintly screaming out his name.

His gentle caress soothes you until you can feel nothing else but pleasure, and between your blissful moans, you reach out to him, touching his face as you begin to rock your hips against him, welcoming him deep inside you where he belongs. “Take me. Make love to me. Make me yours.”

The smile that appears on him melts your heart, while your whole body erupts as he ignites the flame inside you when he does exactly what you had asked him to. As he moves his hips, reaching deeper and taking you harder, every thought fades away, and every sense you have is filled with his presence.

“Are you still here? Still not thinking about running away?” you hear him whisper to you just when he sends you tethering on the edge of your climax, already so close to reaching the peak of your bliss, and yet still rooted to the ground when his piercing gaze becomes the anchor that pins you down to him.

“I’m not going anywhere. I never will,” you find yourself speaking. You can hear your voice, even though it comes out like a fading echo, moving further and further away into the void instead of lingering in the space between you.

But Jungkook continues to make love to you, oblivious to how you feel like you are floating in space even while you are pressed against him and withering in his arms, clueless to how each rising pleasure that you feel only brings the painful pinch inside your chest grow tighter, and he has no idea how you can barely see his face now as you succumb to your climax, when his face grows blurry in your eyes as they are filled with tears.

“Jungkook—!” you cry out to him just as you are engulfed with the waves of your orgasm, and you can faintly hear him chanting your name as he erupts into his own.

He continues to hold you, soothing you until you come down from bliss. Except that just as your pleasure begins to fade, it seems to bring everything else along with it. Everything, including the sight of his pretty face. “Jungkook? What’s happening?” you keep asking him, though your voice sounds so faint, so small, so far away, and your chest is immediately filled with fear.

The smile that he gives you as he looks at you doesn’t affect you the way it should. When it usually heals any uncertainty that you might be feeling or settles your heart until you can feel all safe and secured once more, this time, his smile brings only sadness. Soon, the feeling of comfort, pleasure, and love that have been engulfing you merely moments ago begin to fade away, dissolving together with the sight of him, taking away his touch, his presence, his love.

All that is left for you at the end of your dream is the emptiness that you had once feared to have. Nothing but the remnants of his warmth and the fading sound of his voice that lingers before he disappears completely into nothingness—

“…love…always…”

The warm sunlight greets you from the windows across the room when you open your eyes, marking the start of the morning.

While it feels like you had been asleep for a long time, your whole body feels weary, and your chest feels hollow after the odd dream that you had just awakened from. Reaching next to you, you find that the crumpled sheets beside you have grown cold, letting you know that Jungkook had left the bed for quite some time. But before you have any chance to feel disappointed at his absence, you inhale a deep breath and the delicate scent of coffee wafts through the air, calling for you.

Smiling at the thought of your lover preparing breakfast for you out there, you toss the blanket off of you and rush to the bathroom to freshen up before you can see him.

Moments after you are done, you find Jungkook on the kitchen counter, sipping on his hot latte while he has his empty gaze looking across the room. You are surprised to find that he is fully dressed, but you choose not to question it when he senses your presence and turns to you with a smile on his face.

“I smelled coffee,” you say to him as you walk over, greeting him with a morning kiss. You had meant it to be a short and quick one before you can grab your own cup of caffeine, but Jungkook puts down his coffee mug and reaches around you, pulling you to him so he can kiss you longer, taking your lips into a lingering kiss before he finally lets you go.

When Jungkook finally releases you from his hold and pulls away from the kiss, he seems to be doing so with a heavy heart. You can sense his hesitance when he leans his forehead against yours while keeping you close, so you cup his face gently in your hands and look into his eyes to see what is troubling him.

“Is everything okay?” you carefully question him, drawing a rueful smile on his face.

“It will be,” he says after a beat of silence where he takes you in, watching your face closely with the smile lingering on his face. Finally, he gently guides you to the empty stool beside him and gestures at the plate of food and steaming coffee that he had prepared for you. “Why don’t you sit down and have breakfast with me?”

You pull away from him reluctantly and take the empty seat, breathing in the food—pancakes with syrup on top and freshly cut fruits—and the small mug of coffee. Smiling at his sweet effort, you murmur a soft 'thank you' to him and plant a kiss on his cheek before devouring your meal. You feel hyperaware of his intense gaze on you, letting you know that he is watching you closely the entire time while you are wholeheartedly enjoying your breakfast. Feeling uneasy about it, you start chatting with him, complimenting his simple cooking between each bite while teasing him about being sweet with you.

You turn to him when he barely reacts, looking at him questioningly when all he does is watch you with a smile on his face. “Why are you dressed? Are we going somewhere?” you tilt your head to scan him from head to toe, before frowning slightly. “Unless you’re going back to work already?”

Instead of answering your questions directly, Jungkook simply shakes his head and gives a quick peck on your lips to ease your mind a little. “How was your sleep?” he asks, changing the topic completely. You should be asking why he is doing it, but the way his hand is rubbing gently on your waist and the warm look in his eyes are too distracting that you simply brush it off.

But then you are reminded of your dream, how the memory of your first night with him returned to you only for everything to fade and fall apart. Your body shudders in dread as you recall parts of that awful dream, and you instinctively reach out to grab his hand, needing contact with your lover to feel your bond with him when you remember how it felt like it was taken away right the moment before you woke up.

“You moved me to the bed. Thank you,” you whisper to him while brushing your fingers on his skin. Jungkook looks down as he entwines his fingers through yours, smiling warmly at the sight before looking at your face again.

“You were sleeping on the sofa when I got in. It didn’t seem comfortable and you looked so tired so I figured it would be better to move you somewhere safe and cozy. I thought you would have a better rest sleeping in our bed.”

Thinking about last night, a sense of guilt quickly fills your chest. Especially when you are reminded that you had not exactly succeeded in talking to him when Namjoon’s presence sort of trampled over your plans. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was waiting for you,” you say to him as you turn and tighten your hand on his.

“I know, baby. It’s okay,” he says as he reaches up with his free hand to run a finger across your lips, nearly distracting you with his touch. “I’m sorry for coming in so late.”

Taking a deep breath, you gather the courage to speak. “I was waiting for you to come home so that we could talk. Jungkook, there’s something you need to—”

Before you can finish saying anything, Jungkook presses a finger on your lips to stop you. Usually, you would take this gesture as a way of him teasing you whenever you would start talking too much and all he wants to do is to enjoy silence. But your uneasiness only escalates the moment your eyes meet his, seeing no sense of humour in his gaze that seems to grow deeper and darker when he looks at you.

Jungkook stays silent for a moment, taking you in before exhaling a deep sigh. “You know that I love you, right? I love you so much in a way that I know I can never experience the same kind of love ever again,” he suddenly says, and you grow tense against him when you feel him shuddering against you in his deep inhale of breath, and the dread you feel only grows even worse when his eyes begin to shine with unshed tears. “I never once, in my whole life, had ever thought that I could feel the kind of happiness that I feel when I’m with you.”

“Me too,” you whisper, choking on your words while feeling entirely clueless about what is happening.

When Jungkook breathes out another sigh, his whole body trembles with it. Slowly, as he begins to speak, the smile that he has been wearing ever since the moment you woke up begins to wilt, and you can slowly see your nightmare becoming reality. “But I also know that what we have—our love is unconventional, something that is completely unheard of, and we made it happen there for a while.”

Something is wrong. You keep telling yourself this and the pinch in your chest grows tighter, while the pain grows deeper. Deep down, you have a strong feeling that you might know what he is about to say, but you refuse to accept it. Not until he says it out loud.

“Jungkook—what?” you can barely ask him, still too choked up to say anything else. “What are you saying?”

With his palm pressing on your cheek and his other hand holding yours to keep it from shaking, Jungkook looks into your eyes. “I know everything, baby,” he whispers, giving you a rueful smile before leaning in, pressing his forehead on yours. “That you’ve finally met him. Your soulmate. You should’ve said something so that—”

Inhaling sharply, you finally understand what he is trying to say.

He knows.

You pull away and grab his hands tightly. “I was going to tell you, last night, but Jungkook—” you begin to explain yourself, but your heart drops the moment you see the defeated look in Jungkook’s eyes. The look that shows you that he had given up. Desperate to fight for your love, your grab both of his hands and force him to look at you. “Listen to me, it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t have to. You said it yourself that what we have is real. Our love is real.”

When Jungkook opens his mouth to answer, you can already tell that all he is ever going to do is deny everything and be stubborn about it. If there is one thing that you have learned about him from all the years you spent with him, is that once Jungkook has put his thoughts on something, it would be hard to change his mind. Meanwhile, you are still too stunned to figure out what to say, and you are running out of ideas on how to fix things. The only thing you can do is jump out of your seat and wrap your arms around him, before capturing his lips in yours, shutting him up completely with your kiss.

Jungkook seems hesitant at first, but you breathe a sigh of relief when he makes no move to push you away. He tentatively returns the kiss, sighing softly before he takes you in his arms and takes over. His mouth moves fluidly against yours, his tongue slips out against the seam of your lips before he pushes in, letting your tongues dance together and making you shiver upon contact.

You had initiated the kiss to show him that there is nothing he should worry about, to show him the bond that you have is still as strong as before and you can stay strong as long as you put your mind to it. But as Jungkook puts his desperation into the kiss, when the tight hold he has around you feels more like his last attempt to feel any contact with you and to savour your presence for the last time, you can no longer deny feeling the finality in every touch he gives, in every brush of his kiss.

When everything tells you that this is final. The end.

When you melt into the kiss, it is not for the desire that comes coursing through you or the heat that comes from his touch, but it comes from your broken heart, for realising that this is him saying goodbye. The moment you come apart from the kiss, you find yourself unable to breathe. The pain feels too much, and it becomes harder when you start sobbing when you look at him again.

“Jungkook—” you try to beg him as you clutch the front of his shirt, stopping him from moving away. But before you have the chance to say anything to get him to change his mind or to convince him that nothing is going to change, Jungkook moves a step away, and your gaze falls over his shoulder to see something that makes your heart drops.

Right there, merely a few steps away from the front door of your apartment, you see a couple of travel bags piled up together against the walls. His bags.

“You’ve packed up your things? Y-you’re leaving?” you ask him with a whisper, barely able to get your voice out when your whole body is trembling with pain coursing through you. “But…why?”

Jungkook cups your face gently in his palms, as if he is trying to calm you down. Except there is nothing in his touch that could stop the tears falling down your face, nor does it help you to breathe easier.

“Baby, listen—” he gently begs you until you look away from his things and turn to look at him again. Though his face becomes a blur when your tears keep flowing out. “I love you, so much, but don’t you think that you are given a second chance to be with your soulmate and that you should give it a try?”

“No…no…no, please…,” you keep begging him while shaking your head, and the pain in his eyes deepen. It clears that Jungkook hates seeing you like this, and yet you hate knowing that it still isn’t enough to make him sway.

“I just want you to be happy. I’m giving you space to experience that,” he starts pleading with you, but you refuse to hear it.

“But I am happy! I’m happy with you, why can’t you see that?”

Hearing your words, Jungkook gives you a sad smile that breaks your heart even more when it makes you feel like you are losing the fight. “I see it, baby. Hell, I feel it too. But we both know that it wouldn’t be the same. The soulmate bond will forever surpass what we have,” Jungkook says while looking straight into your eyes, as if he believes every word he says to you, as if nothing is going to stop him from stepping out that door. Not even you. “We’ve seen it before, so many times. This is your second chance, baby. I have no right to take that away from you.”

No. But he also has no right to take away that choice from you.

Sobbing in his arms, you wish that you could say those words to him. But the words refuse to come out, dying in your tongue the moment you see the determined look in his eyes. The look that doesn’t change even when he can clearly see that you are hurting from his words, as if you are the only one in pain when the tight bond tethering both of your souls together is slowly torn into pieces when he finally lets you go.

You have no idea how you got here.

You should have known that it was a terrible idea to Google where he lives, and even worse when you decided to order the Uber to take you across the city to get here. You probably shouldn’t have left the apartment at all. Not like this. Not when you cannot even make any coherent sentences out of your mouth when your mind is still a jumbled mess. Not when you can barely walk.

You cannot even remember why your legs feel so heavy or why your knees are completely sore that it makes it hard for you to walk straight. It probably happened somewhere between the moment you fell down to the ground when you had to watch Jungkook walk out the door—leaving you behind with a breaking heart while he kept his eyes looking away from you—to the long hours you spent crying out your pain and feeling so powerless that you couldn’t bring yourself to come back up.

It feels like you are going in circles, stuck in a nightmare that you cannot get out of. The moment Jungkook’s absence sunk in, the emotions that came rolling out of you were unstoppable, and it was too much for you to handle. You wanted to blame somebody, to rip something out until it was torn to pieces, and yet you were too powerless to move when it felt like everything inside you had been ripped out of you until there was nothing left.

It must have been what had pushed you to find him, even if everything else starting from the moment you walked out of your home had become nothing but a blur.

At least nobody is stopping you from barging through the front door to the fancy building that makes you feel completely out of place. And it only takes one quick glimpse at the soulmate mark on your wrist for the man in an all-black suit who welcomes you at the door to take you to the elevator and escort you all the way up to the top floor.

Even now, as you are standing right in front of the expensive wooden doors shielding you from him, everything has yet to make sense. Until he finally steps out of the door of his penthouse, looking all stoic and calm as if he hadn’t done anything to turn your entire world upside down.

Namjoon calmly walks closer to you as the suited man slinks away, only for you to shove him on the chest with everything you have until he falls a step backwards.

“You told him!”

“_______,” Namjoon calmly says while raising his hands out towards you, still keeping himself composed even as you are yelling at him and continuously shoving him away while you are in a sobbing mess.

“Why? Why did you have to tell him?”

“I already told you, he would’ve found out eventually. And you had agreed that he had to know. I didn’t do it on purpose, I promise. He saw the soulmate mark while I wasn’t looking and—”

“But not this way!” you yell at him, before your energy deflates entirely and you fall powerless right in front of him. “You—” you choke out when a sob escapes you. “You don’t understand.”

Namjoon reaches out to you when you continue to cry. With his gentle hands on your arms, he slowly helps you up and holds you up against his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, and you can faintly see the guilt that is written all over his face appearing beyond your teary eyes. With his arm around your waist to keep you from falling, he uses the other hand to gently wipe your tears away, not caring how fresh ones would only keep falling right after. “Please forgive me, ____, but Jungkook needed to know the truth. I couldn’t lie to him.”

“He’s gone,” you cry into his chest as he holds you in his arms. He keeps whispering soothing words to you while he slowly brings you with him into his home. “He left.”

The sound of the door clicking behind you barely registers to you until you feel him leaning against the closed door while he keeps holding you to him, anchoring you when he can feel you dissipating in your pain. For a moment, Namjoon says nothing, giving you a chance to cry your heart out. Only once your cries and constant sobs begin to subside is when he finally speaks, murmuring softly to you, “Maybe it’s a good thing.”

At first, you are not entirely sure if you had heard him correctly. With a gasp, you pull away to look at him more clearly, asking him with a whisper, “W-what?”

Namjoon looks down at your face then, wearing a grim look on his face when he suddenly says, “Perhaps it is a good thing that he is gone. Have you forgotten? You were supposed to be mine. Always have been.”

❥ Commissioned by @namgishope

294 notes · View notes

startrekfangirl2233 · 1 year ago

Text

I AM BAWLING OH MY GOD STAR 😭 I’m not lying when I say I have tears rolling down my face (see below for evidence 😂) Enjoy this thesis level statement about how much I fucking love this, even throwing a read more in here because I know how much I’m gonna write lol

A thesis statement and a read more? You're too good to me!

The boys rubbing sunblock on her baby belly?! I CANNOT 😭

It's so fucking cute! And you know Jake had to be a little shit even when he's being all cute!

I LIVE for the daddy grays and the smile lines and omfgggg I die

The daddy grays and smile lines are what we're getting now from Glen and I just had to incorporate them!

I AM ABSOLUTELY BAWLING. Did you really have to reach out and grab my heart like that?! “The hands that consoled you when you lost a child” FUCKING OUCH STAR but like in the most bittersweet way possible. I also squealed at the “there’s a reason why you’re somebody’s mama” 🥹🥹🥹

🥹🥹🥹Both of these parts made me so sappy and sad! 🥹🥹🥹 Because writing this paragraph is when I knew that this was really the end for this sweet little universe! And Jake and Bitsie have such a strong relationship with each other!

FUCKING SWOON 😍. Protective dada Jake is the dream

Damn straight he's protective! That's his Bitsie baby and the love of his life!

You absolutely NAILED this! The conscious choice is so beautifully accurate when it comes to marriage that I’m so ridiculously emotional about it. You already know I could take for hours about this, so I’ll cut myself off here by saying it’s pure perfection 🥹

This is something my mom says all the time and it's really one of my highest goals for a relationship! (Now if only I can have that with Jake) A girl can dream, right?

FELT THAT IN MY SOUL (and my ribs). Tiny Mayhem beat the shit out of me 😂

Bitsie of all of my characters, is the most like me, and I was a super-active baby when my mom was pregnant. So I have the feeling any of mine would be too. And as far as both the Mini-Mayhems go.... They both play ball. So you know they've got strong little arms and legs!

I AM STUTTER BREATHING AS I CRY OVER THIS. Fucking hell Starshine 😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭 No hyperventilating, May! I can't be Mama Squirrel'd without the Mama Squirrel around! 😭😭😭😭 But also, you know my note above? It's all I want in a relationship. I'm very completely, totally, single, but that's what I want. A best friend and the love of my life.

ARE YOU LIVING IN MY BRAIN?! Jesus, you’re hitting me in every single feel in my body tonight! I’m so in love with these two and I’m so beyond sad that their story has reached a stunningly beautiful end! I’m so proud of you and this whole series! Thank you so much for letting me be a part of it and sharing it with the world! Forever hoping for and striving to write stories that bring out the level of emotion you bring out it in me! Love you so so much, my Starshine Squirrel 💕💕💕

Aww, May! You're too good to me. Seriously! I love you, so much and this story? It wouldn't be half as good without you cheering me on. I so appreciate all of the times you let me use you as a sounding board for ideas I had and of course all of your screaming when I post a new chapter! You're one of my biggest cheerleaders and I just couldn't have done this without you. Seriously!

Forever hoping for and striving to write stories that bring out the level of emotion you bring out it in me!

You do it already! And I love you, so so much!

Weepily, Tearily, Lovingly,

Your Starshine Squirrel 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

The Epilogue

Part 6 of You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Reader, Past! Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Reader

Description: Walking into the sunset hand in hand has never felt so good. But when a ghost barges into your idyllic beachside paradise, it has you finally confronting feelings that you've been hiding, perhaps unknowingly, for years. But with your family around you, this? This is closure - the final stepping stone to the rest of your life. Disclaimer: Female!Reader Warnings: None! This chapter is sweet and fluffy! The content presented in this story is for audiences age 18 and over only. MINORS DNI. I will not be accepting taglist requests from Blank or Ageless Blogs for this story. I do my best to portray adult relationships in this fic. Please do not interact with this story if you feel you are not ready to read about these themes. Word Count: 2648 A/N: I can’t believe it, but this is it. YPSGYWSP is over. My first series, done and dusted. I love Jake and Bitsie and their love story so much! You won't blame me if you see a few one-shots added into their story here and there over the next few months, right? right? I love you all from the bottom of my heart and I want to thank you, thank anyone who's taken the time to read this story. But I especially want to thank @mayhemmanaged and @desert-fern for being my biggest cheerleaders and unapologetic Jake and Bitsie lovers as I was writing this fic. I love you both! - XOXO Star AO3: Cross-posted here! My Masterlist Previous Part | Series Masterlist

Birds chirp loudly in the early spring air as you lay in the sand. The sun is warm and if you could hit pause, you'd live in this moment forever. Sleep fogs your every movement as your eyes flutter closed, the tired orbs fixated on the sight of twin blond heads down by the water. Your dog is swimming easily through the waves and you can just hear your husband's voice over the rushing sigh of the water.

"Yeah buddy. Mama's right there, taking a nap." Jake's laugh always makes you feel so warm. "Yeah, it looks like Mama does need some sunscreen." His voice gets louder as he steps towards the big blanket you’re lying on, shaded by a colossal umbrella.

"Whatta you say we rub some on her?" You hide your smile at the sound of your baby's babbling and the click of the sunscreen cap, pretending to still be asleep for your son. You can't hide your squeal as the icy cold sunscreen hits your sun warmed skin, though, and you know that was your husband's intention.

"Baby, we woke Mama up! Let's rub the sunscreen into her skin and then give Mama some kisses!" You have to laugh at that, because before you can even sit up, your baby's rubbing the sunscreen into your bump clumsily, barely working the sticky lotion into your skin before he's grabbing your face in his hands and peppering your cheeks with slobbery wet kisses.

"Thanks, baby." You splutter, pulling your sunglasses off as you prop yourself up on your elbows and watch eagle-eyed as your baby plops himself on the sand within arms reach of you with a bucket and pail.

The hands that help you sit up and rub the sunscreen fully into your bump are hands that you'd know anywhere. These are the hands that have held you every day since you got married four years ago. The hands that consoled you when you lost a child. The hands that held you as you sobbed in joy when you'd finally conceived. These are the hands that held Easton when he was born, cradling his soft head with all the affection and love that his father could hold. These are also the hands that do wildly bad things to you, but well, there's a reason why you're six months pregnant and there’s a reason why you're somebody's mama.

Jake smells like the salty sea and his cologne when he pulls you into his arms.

"Hiya, Bitsie baby. M'sorry about the sunscreen. That was Easton's idea." You can feel his smile against your shoulder even as you intertwine your fingers with the hand resting over your bump.

"Sure it was, Jakey. You forget that I know you!" You're never going to get tired of the feeling of his wedding band on your skin.

"Yeah, my Bitsie-girl, I know." His hands trail light circles over your bare stomach as you watch your toddler play in the sand together.

"East?" Your voice is gentle as you call your son. "C'mere baby. It's sunscreen time for you too."

He's all soft cheeks and pudgy tummy still, your baby, and a part of you cannot believe that he's already 2 years old and that he's going to be a big brother in three short months. It feels like just yesterday that he was in your womb, just yesterday that you told Jake you were pregnant for the first time. Now that precious baby is standing, walking, and talking. He's his dad in miniature, except for the way he tips his head and how he acts. That's when he's your baby just as much as Jake's. You’re gentle as you massage the sunscreen over his sun-browned skin, and smile when he tips happily into your side, content to get out of the sun and sit in the shade with his mama.

At times you wake up in the morning and still feel like you ought to be on that aircraft carrier on the first night you'd ever slept in Jake's arms. It's already been six years since that day. Jake's closer to forty than thirty now and while he bemoans every gray hair, you love seeing the marks time has left on his body. There are crows feet at the sides of his eyes and smile lines carved around his dimples. You can't say you're the same as you were six years ago either. You've never quite lost the baby weight you gained with Easton and you've got the stretch marks to prove it too. With this new baby, you're not sure you'll ever get back your pre-baby physique, but you wear every tiger stripe and stretch mark with pride.

But Jake's never once made you feel any less beautiful than he has since you fell in love. He loves being a dad, too. With Easton he truly shines. You know in a heartbeat he'll take back the sleepless nights with a screaming colicky baby on his chest just as readily as you will. You can't stop wondering at your life nowadays, with your son wriggling in your arms and with your husband wrapped around you.

You're so full of love that sometimes you feel like you're drowning in it. Each kiss you share with your husband. Each embrace you wrap Easton in. Each tiny fluttering kick and movement you feel from the baby in your belly. You'd say you're becoming sappy in your old age, but you're not old, not really. You still feel like that fresh faced girl who joined the Pentagon out of college. And you still feel like the wild woman who fucked Jake in a rose garden in Italy where your ex could see you.

But things have changed over the years, even if you haven't felt the changes in yourself. For one, Jake's a captain now. He doesn't fly quite so much, which you know he hates as much as it's a balm to your soul. He's one of the flight instructors out of North Island for Top Gun and one of the most sought after pilots in the Navy. Jake comes home to you and East every night and the two of you are in domestic bliss.

Mickey ended up leaving the Navy once his contract was up. He and Ally, his wife, still live in San Diego and run a cafe together. They have three rowdy boys and one much awaited little girl. You're not mad he left the Navy, neither you nor Jake are. You're so close to the Garcias that you meet once a week for dinner. Ally even went into labor at the same party you did. Easton and Rodrigo Garcia are the same age and share the same birthday. It makes perfect sense that they're best friends. You're also godmother to Mickey's little princesa, Carmen, who is as pretty as a rosebud at three months old.

Mara finally married her girlfriend, and she's taking the Pentagon by storm. She's heading up project after high profile project and you love that she's chasing her dreams. You still talk to her all the time and you're looking forward to seeing her when she's back in San Diego. Callie and Meg Bassett are still in San Diego as well. Callie's Captain Bassett now, and runs the USS Anchorage with an iron fist. When she's deployed, you and Jake both watch out for Meg, helping out wherever you can because nobody should be alone while their significant other is deployed.

Your three story house on the beach is a constant revolving door of friends and family. Brie and Michael, her husband, stop by often, as do your parents and Lynn Seresin. Mav is always around, so much so that East calls him Grand Mav. So too are Jake’s colleagues and friends. With your life as lovely as it is, is it any wonder that you're counting your blessings every moment of every day?

It's the weight of East against your side that drags you out of your reverie. He's curled up against you, his little snuffling breaths hot against your skin.

"Hey, Jakey?" Your voice is soft as you run your fingers through your son's baby soft hair. "Our little guy's all worn out. I think it's time we got him in for a nap."

"I got him, baby. Let me help you up first?" You have to smile at the naked concern in his eyes. "I'm alright, Jake. You forget this isn't my first time pregnant. I can get up by myself."

"But you shouldn't have to, Bitsie baby. Not as long as I'm here." Conceivably, you know what Jake says is true, especially with the kiss he presses to your lips once you're somewhat stable. You could lose yourself in his kiss, in all honesty, no matter how pregnant you are, or how tired, or how sleepy. Jake's love is always going to be your baseline for anything you ever feel in your life.

When you pull away, it is to the sight of a ghost from your past standing on the beach a little ways away from you. He looks shell-shocked at the sight of you, Jake with East in his arms, and your belly protruding sweetly out in front of you. Jake's glaring the moment he sees the intruder to your otherwise idyllic family afternoon.

"Bradshaw.'' Your sigh is soft, even as you pull your sleepy son into your arms and kiss his forehead. If you know Jake, this is going to turn into a dick measuring contest of some sort.

"Seresin." Bradley looks worn and drawn and tired. "You look good."

"I am good, Bradshaw, I'm very good." You don't even have to look at your husband to know he has his shit-eating smirk on his face.

When Jake's arms wrap around your waist, you know that he wants to show you off.

"Hi, Bradshaw." Your voice is a near whisper as you hike East up a little higher on your chest so his body isn't putting quite so much pressure on your belly.

"Bitsie. You - you look good." His smile is halfway between a smile and a frown, something that looks more like a grimace rather than a grin.

"Thanks. I feel pretty good too, most of the time. Between being a million years pregnant and chasing around a toddler, that is." Bradley's face turns pensive at your light hearted words. The face he makes is serious enough that Jake's grabbing East from you, cuddling your son even as he gives you a worried look. You rise up on tiptoes to kiss your son's soft, pudgy cheek and peck your husband's cut jaw.

"But you don't regret a single choice you made, do you?" You're not sure why he's dredging up ancient history like this, not at all. His eyes are fixated on your left hand, where your finger still bears the ring Jake gave you so long ago.

You're not sure what possesses you to take his hands in yours, even as you ignore the piercing gaze you can feel on your back.

"What's brought this on, Bradshaw?"

"You moved on, Bitsie." His voice sounds ragged even as his chest heaves. "I don't understand how it was so easy for you. And I definitely don't understand why it was Jake you moved on with. Why Bagman?! Why him over anybody?"

"I picked Jake because he never hid how I was the most important person in his life." You stop speaking for a few seconds, waiting until the baby stops kicking your ribs to continue. "And it definitely wasn't easy for us. It was hard. Impossibly hard. At times, it felt like the entire world was against us."

You brace your hands against your lower back.

"But we made the choice, Bradley. We made the choice to pick each other each and every day. It was a conscious choice, no matter how far away we were from each other or how angry we made each other, we chose each other. Because there wasn't ever another option, not a real one. I realized pretty soon after our first argument that I would never again find a man that I could consider my best friend for as long as I loved him."

Your voice is soft as you take in the wondering look on Bradley's face.

"T-that's great." Bradley's voice is soft and a little awed, even as he looks out over the rapidly setting sun sinking below the ocean.

"You found what my mom and dad found in each other, honey." His voice chokes on a sob even as he looks softly at you. "That's all I ever wanted, you know? I can't tell you how sorry I am. For causing you so much pain, for hurting you so badly."

You pat his shoulder softly. "The past is in the past. We can't change it, Bradley. All we can do is move on, and live. That's all you can do, live like your mom and dad would have wanted you to."

You leave him standing on the beach in front of the home you've built brick-by-brick with the love of your life.

Jake's embrace is nearly too tight when you walk through the door. "You alright, my Bitsie-girl?"

You slip your arms around his neck, melting into his kiss.

"M'fine, Jakey." Your grin is gentle as your husband drops to his knees and presses kisses against your bump. "And how's our little bit doing?"

Your smile is soft as you cup his head. "Baby girl's kicking up a storm. Do you know if it's possible to have bruises on the inside of your rib cage?" Jake chuckles against your stomach before kissing the firm, taut skin.

"So what did he want?" You card your finger through the salt stiff strands of his hair as he stands and tugs you into his arms.

"To apologize, I think." His snort is soft as he presses another kiss to your parted lips.

"Hmpf." His snort is a little disbelieving as he turns you around and lifts your bump a little. "Did he ask if you'd take him back?"

You tip your head back against Jake's solid, broad, and warm form. "No, Jakey. He asked how we've stayed together for so many years."

"What'd you tell him?" He sounds curious despite himself.

"I told him we're still together because we made the conscious choice to love each other every minute of every day, no matter how angry we are at each other or how annoying we find each other." You grin at the kiss Jake presses into your pulse point. "I told him that I'd found my best friend in addition to the love of my life. I told him that's all I need. That you’re all I’d ever need."

Your voice is soft as you turn in your husband's arms and kiss him gently. "I told him I didn't regret a single thing. Because everything that happened with him? All the pain? All the sorrow? It brought me the best things in my life. You, Easton, and this beautiful little baby girl, snug and warm in my womb, growing to the beat of my heart. With the three of you in my life, how could I regret a single thing?"

"I love you, my Bitsie-girl."

"I love you too, Jake. More than my life itself."

Sometimes, people play stupid games and win stupid prizes. But those terrible decisions are what showed you your own worth. The consequences of those games are what made you realize that you're not a game to lose. You're the prize to win, and Jake will never let you forget that. It's all you could ever ask for. Your love story may not have been the most conventional, but who needs conventional when they could have happily ever after?

Taglist:

✈️ @greenbaby12 ✈️ @mayhemmanaged ✈️ @desert-fern ✈️ @cassiemitchell ✈️ @eli2447 ✈️ @the-romanian-is-bae ✈️ @luckyladycreator2 ✈️ @lunamoonbby ✈️ @daphne-turner ✈️ @angeliccks ✈️ @dakotakazansky ✈️ @daisydaisygoose✈️ @inky-sun ✈️ @fighterpilothoe ✈️ @pulisvertz ✈️ @wildxwidow ✈️ @angelbabyange✈️ @chaoticassidy ✈️ @kmc1989 ✈️ @sarahsmi13s ✈️ @roosterforme ✈️ @lavenderbradshaw ✈️ @bobby-r2d2-floyd ✈️ @lovinglyeternal ✈️@bradleybeachbabe ✈️ @thedroneranger ✈️ @cherrycola27✈️ @beccaanne814

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

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deadpool1763492 · 2 years ago

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New TMNT: Mutant Mayhem leak, spoilers below the cut.

I have so much to say about this leak, so let me just list it all out.

1. I love their dialogue. They act like genuine teenagers and it's amazing. I also love how they're not trying to use too much "teenage slang" like so many other shows and movies do to the point that it just ends up cringey. They're putting tidbits here and there, and it's just enough to make it believable.

2. The random references they're putting in it are amazing. Donnie saying he's the Matt Damon of the group? Perfect. The pop culture references in this movie are going to be amazing. Does this mean we're actually getting some Jujutsu Kaisen references from Donnie as well? If we do, let's hope it's nothing too big that'll spoil things for people who haven't seen it yet.

3. Interesting characterization for Raph and Donnie in this leak. Raph is the most excited to go to school apparently, which we wouldn't really expect at face value, but they might be going for something similar to the 2003 version of Raph. What I'm specifically referring to is issue #5 of the mini comic series they released that has Raph wishing they could be part of the real world. If that's the case, I'm interested in seeing his dynamic with characters like Leo, who are usually pretty content with their current lifestyles.

4. The turtles are using April for some reason? Apparently they're trying to get a way for them to go to school, which could indicate they've possibly discovered a way to either become human or at least pass as human, which could be interesting. Part of the story may be a whole learning arc for the turltes (especially Leo) in how to actually handle the trust someone has for them.

5. THE. RAT. KING. FINALLY the writers are utilizing villains besides the Shredder and Kraang and I literally cannot wait for it. The Rat King is one of, if not my favourite TMNT villains ever created and he's almost always underused. With that Scooby-Doo reference they threw in there, they might be trying to use the "big wig in a mask" cliché as a red herring for a villain that's ACTUALLY a mutant, not just someone who's pretending to be a monster.

Well, that's all from me for now, but I'll be sure to add more if I think of anything. I love dissecting trailers and leaks like this, so I'll be doing it for anything that comes out for this movie. TMNT is a huge part of my life and I've consumed almost every part of it, so I'm hoping to put it to good use! I'd also love to hear everyone else's thoughts about the leak, so please do not be shy. Cowabunga, dudes!

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles: mutant mayhem #tmnt #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt rat king

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marwritesgood · 4 years ago

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Peach | S. Basett

Pairing: Simon x WOC!Reader

Timeframe: Season One AU

Summary: Y/n tries to ignore her aunt’s words, while Simon prays he is not yet out of time.

PART ONE // PART TWO

masterlist

A/N: This fic is just over 8K words

I cannot thank you enough for receiving this mini-series with so much love and support! I am so grateful that so many of you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed creating it.

I hope you like this ending <3

Philippa was still standing on the steps outside her home when Simon arrived.

He raced through gates atop his horse but, when he quickly realised Y/n was nowhere in sight, he came to a halt. A worker appeared beside him as he came down from the saddle, guiding the horse away so that Simon could approach Lady Bennet.

“Lady Bennet-”

“I take it you hesitated to come here?” Philippa questioned bitterly. She had made it quite clear to the Duke that time was of the essence. Yet, he stood, dishevelled and panting because he was late, despite his delayed best efforts.

“Lady Bennet, please help me,” Simon exhaled, taking his hat off swiftly and holding it to his chest. Philippa had begun walking towards her home before she turned around again.

“Grant me one reason as to why I should help you, your grace,” she sneered. “Did you not possess every available opportunity to make amends with my niece ever since her arrival in London?”

“I did,” he cried, desperate to obtain Philippa’s assistance. “I had every opportunity but, like the fool I am, I took each one for granted. I have been far too preoccupied with affairs I do not care for; I have stupidly disregarded that which matters most to me; my relationship with Y/n.”

He grew quiet for a moment, during which the only sound heard in the cortile was that of Simon’s panting, a consequence of his frantic outburst. Philippa’s cold and glaring expression remained unfazed. She could not yet decide whether she trusted him.

Simon waited until he caught his breath to speak again.

For any other person in the world, he would uphold his reputation of being reserved and brooding. However, Y/n was not any other person in the world to him. She meant a great deal to Simon, and he was willing to disregard his typical persona, stoicism and all if it meant fixing things between them.

Even if it meant a vocal revelation of how he truly felt.

“I... I love her,” Simon admitted, the crinkle between his brows a confirmation of his sincerity. Philippa’s scowl faded. “I know I am undeserving of your ladyship’s help... just as I am unworthy your niece, but I can no longer deny the true nature of my feelings for her. Nor can I begin to describe the regret I have for not being here sooner so that I could confess this to her.”

As silence filled the courtyard once more, Simon glanced at the floor beneath him, overcome with regret and sorrow. Had he reached the Bennet home quicker, it would have been easy.

“Well then... you ought to begin thinking,” Philippa stated flatly, inciting confusion upon Simon. She smirked, amused by Simon’s response. He always was slow to catch on. “Your grace, if I am going to help you reach my niece, the very least you can do is think of what you will say to her.”

A wide grin slowly made itself apparent on Simon’s face. Suddenly the sorrow he felt previously was beginning to be replaced with a newfound hope- one he would, this time, indulge in and act hastily upon. He was not going to allow himself to repeat his same mistakes.

“Alright now,” she smiled. “I presume you have a plan in mind?”

Simon thought for a moment. While he feared he would miss Y/n’s departure, Simon, unfortunately, did not consider what he would do. He began panicking, straining his train of thought as he sought for even a scrap of an idea.

Then Simon remembered how he found himself in this position. He recounted all the times in his past, where he hesitated. Where became so enveloped in all the matters that burdened his mind, he lost sight of what mattered most to him.

He refused to fall subject to that mentality again.

Therefore, for the first time in his life, Simon turned to his instincts. Not his desire for perfection. Not his pride or his arrogance or his vengeance. What mattered most at that moment was how he could best apologise to Y/n and prove that he loved her dearly.

“Do you know the man whose proposal she is to accept?”

Philippa nodded. She narrowed her eyes at Simon, curious as to what he intended to do. Lady Bennet knew she would inevitably agree, no matter how strange the plan turned out to be, but she was still greatly curious and the slightest bit concerned.

“Can you delay him?” Simon asked. “By the time Y/n’s carriage reaches her home, it will be dusk; thus, I presume she will plan to meet with her suitor in the morning. I need you to delay that from happening.”

“And what will you do?” Philippa questioned. “Would it not be wiser for us both to leave immediately?”

Simon shook his head. He thought of the right way to phrase his answer. If Simon revealed his plan to Lady Bennet, he knew she would support him wholeheartedly. However, he thought it best to keep the better part of it concealed. It would have more effect that way, he believed.

“There are a few places I must visit beforehand,” he explained.

“You are asking me to delay Mr Graham so that you can visit a few places?!”

“I am asking your Ladyship to have trust in me,” Simon pleaded. “Hurting your niece is my biggest regret. I intend to atone for my mistakes, not repeat them.”

Philippa stared intently at the Duke. It was a massive ask of her; to leave her family momentarily and interfere with Mr Graham’s pursuits. However, every instinct she possessed led her to believe that Simon was sincere. The confidence he held gave her hope that his plan would work. She sighed.

“Then you must leave immediately,” Philippa ordered him. “Visit the places that say you must visit and then race hastily to my sister’s home. I will do my best to delay Mr Graham until then.”

“Thank you, my lady,” Simon cheered before doing just as he was told.

He raced towards his horse and climbed atop the saddle. Philippa dashed inside to organise yet another carriage headed to her hometown. Both equally determined to keep their beloved Y/n from accepting Mr Graham’s proposal.

***

The Y/l/n household was, needless to say, very much hectic. Y/n had arrived home the night before, hoping she would, at the very least, be able to have some sleep before the next morning. That proved to be impossible.

The words of her Aunt Philippa haunted Y/n during her journey home. Then, just as she feared, it continued to do so as Y/n tossed and turned in her bed. Once she finally began to settle, her mother barged in with sever different dresses for her to try on.

“Sit up straight, dear.”

Y/n flinched at the sudden sound of her mother’s orders. She reluctantly obeyed and straightened her back. When Mrs Y/l/n turned back around, Y/n sighed exasperatedly, slumping her shoulders ever so slightly. Her hands curled into tight fists as she tried to keep herself from dozing off yet again.

“I do not understand,” Mrs Y/l/n agonised as she paced the sitting room. This was an all too familiar situation for Y/n. “Mr Graham is known for being punctual, yet he is running terribly late.”

Y/n could care less that Mr Graham was late. Not while she was living off of less than an hour of slumber.

“You don’t suppose I could have a scone while we wait, mama,” Y/n mumbled. She was not particularly hungry so much as she was desperate for some energy.

“Do not be silly, Y/n. You mustn’t risk staining your dress,” Mrs Y/l/n replied. Eager to make sure everything went perfectly, she sat beside her daughter and asked the same question she had asked every hour previously. “Now, have you prepared what you will say?”

“Yes, mama, for the fifth time, yes,” Y/n droned. Her exhaustion only intensified her irritability which her mother seemingly lived to test continually. “I don’t understand your concern with how I respond. It matters not how I respond but that I simply remember to say ‘yes’?”

On any other given day, Mrs Y/l/n would have scolded her daughter. However, for reasons unknown to Y/n, she simply sighed and took hold of her hand.

“Words hold great power, dear,” Y/n’s mother explained simply. She glanced down at her daughter’s hand momentarily before meeting her gaze once more. “They are a valuable indicator of one’s character. How Mr Graham proposes to you will tell you of his attitude towards you and your future marriage. How you respond will do the same to him.”

Y/n nodded, knowing first-hand the amount of truth in her mother’s statement.

She did not care for her response to him as she did not care for him or their future marriage. Y/n simply wished to move past what had happened with her and Simon. This was beginning to become clear to her.

“I will respond to him properly, mama,” Y/n assured.

Mrs Y/l/n smiled, lifting her hand to cup the side of her daughter’s face. It was slowly dawning on her that in only a matter of time, Y/n would be married. When Mrs Y/l/n sent Y/n her letter, she knew the issue of her daughter being unwed would resolve itself in one way or another. However, Mrs Y/l/n was taken by complete surprise when Y/n came home on her own accord.

It was far too out of character for her.

She tried her best to look past it. Mrs Y/l/n rushed to get everything in order for Mr Graham’s arrival. However, it was becoming clear to her that she had been too preoccupied with doing so.

As Mrs Y/l/n struggled to find a way to question Y/n about her behaviour, Mr Graham’s carriage arrived outside her home. Y/n looked out her window and jumped to her feet. Before she could race to the door, her mother held her back.

“Before he comes in, dear,” Mrs Y/l/n began. “Are you... Are you sure you are ready for this? Is this truly what you want?”

Y/n scoffed. Her previous concerns about accepting Mr Graham’s proposal suddenly became easy to look past. Y/n’s resentment for her mother began to surface, adding much to her motivations to go through with marrying.

“Mama, please do not pretend to care about what it is I want.”

Mrs Y/l/n had not expected her to react in such a manner. She was not prepared to have her mothering methods confronted. Y/n’s mother’s primary concern had always been ensuring her daughter marries. It gave Mrs Y/l/n significant discomfort to realise how this resulted in her overlooking what should have mattered more.

Not to mention how she only came to realise this just as her daughter was about to agree to marry a man she expressed great disinterest in just weeks before.

Y/n rushed out of the room before her mother could say anything further. As she reached the hallway, Y/n watched the doors burst open. Much to her surprise, it was not Mr Graham alone who walked through. Instead, Mr Graham was with her Aunt Philippa, who relentlessly attempted to guide him in the opposite direction.

“Mr Graham, please, I must show you-”

“Lady Bennet, you have shown me enough gardens,” Mr Graham insisted, trying his best to contain his annoyance. “In fact, I am quite certain you have shown me almost every garden in town.”

“All except the best one, sir, which is located just outside the-”

“- Aunt Philippa, enough!” Y/n shouted.

Mrs Y/l/n reached the hallway just as Y/n called her sister’s name. Mr Graham exhaled tiredly before holding his hands behind his back and regaining his composure.

Philippa sighed. Her attempts at delaying Mr Graham by badgering him to stop at all 9 gardens on their way to her sister’s home all appeared to be in vain. Simon had yet to arrive, and it was clear they were out of time.

“Philippa?” Mrs Y/l/n said in shock. Her sister had always made an effort to give notice before visiting.

“Hello, sister,” Lady Bennet replied awkwardly, trying her best to force a smile.

Y/n had been glaring at her aunt.

She was furious that after she made clear her intention countless times to Philippa, her aunt still chose to meddle. Y/n felt more adamant than ever to go through, even if to simply spite her aunt. It was due time that they learned to refrain from making her decisions for her.

Even if it meant marrying a man she did not particularly care for.

She forced herself to appear alright, mainly in the hopes that it would influence her feelings. That it would obliviate her concerns. It was her last resort at being ok with what she was about to do.

“Mr Graham,” Y/n called out. The man stood tall, prompting Philippa to grimace. “You may join me in the sitting room.”

She walked ahead of him, guiding Mr Graham to the room. Once he walked in, Y/n turned around and closed the door before returning her attention to him. She fiddled with her hands while he cleared his throat.

Y/n was fixated by the words of both her mother and her aunt. She kept asking herself the same question Philippa had. Could she be happy? Could she possibly find any enjoyment in marrying a man like Mr Graham? In living an inevitable future with him?

Mr Graham was exhausted from the long journey he was forced to take with Lady Bennet. For the most part, his mind was blank, aside from his impending desire to return home.

“Is there anything you wish to say, Mr Graham?” Y/n asked. Mr Graham was taken aback. “Before I give you my response, that is.”

Y/n was resorting to humouring her mother’s advice. She wanted to see how Mr Graham was going to ask for her hand so that, this time, she could identify his intentions. Y/n wished to put aside the conclusions she reached about Mr Graham; he was arrogant and ignorant.

She hoped he could prove that he had one if any, good qualities aside from possessing wealth.

“Uhm-” Mr Graham coughed. “You will remember my father is the primary supplier of livestock commodities in our town.”

“Yes, I do remember-”

“By livestock, I am of course referring to domesticated animals raised in agricultural settings,” he continued, despite Y/n’s best efforts to get a word in. It seemed Mr Graham believed he had reason to take her for someone simple-minded; reasons Y/n did not care for but absolutely resented. “And by commodities, I mean the products-”

“-Yes, I am aware of what words mean, Mr Graham,” Y/n retorted.

“That you are,” he smiled, patronising her even more.

Outside the sitting room, Philippa and Mrs Y/l/n stood with their ears pressed against the door in the corridor. The more they heard Mr Graham speak, the more concerned they became for Y/n. Philippa’s stomach churned as she thought of her poor niece being wed to such a man. She could hardly believe she managed to last the journey there with him and not be at her wit’s end.

“I was recently made aware of the amount your father is offering for your hand,” Mr Graham stated, wincing as he did so. Y/n knew how small her dowry was, and she was annoyed that Mr Graham unnecessarily reminding her. “And you will be pleased to know that I am willing to look past it.”

“How charitable of you, sir,” Y/n muttered. Mr Graham did not catch on to her sarcasm. He was an easily distracted man, Y/n concluded. One need only groom his ego, even sarcastically, for him to be oblivious.

Y/n was reminded again of what her Aunt

“Yes, it is quite charitable of me,” Mr Graham remarked, smiling as he felt pleased with himself. “In fact, that is the very reason I first asked for your hand. Father believed it a grand idea that I marry a woman of your kind. Should attract a different demographic to choosing Graham as their supplier.”

“A woman... of my kind?”

The Grahams were the primary supplier of livestock. However, the few other families in Y/n town, who were not white, found livestock commodities elsewhere. It was clear Y/n that they viewed her as a pawn in their pursuit of broadening their clientele.

Y/n could already foresee where the conversation was headed, and suddenly her aunt’s questions held all the more weight.

‘Do you truly believe you will be happy?’

It took her only a moment to think it over. There was no denying that Mr Graham possessed all the ignorance and arrogance Y/n suspected he did, so she considered if it was worth bearing. Would a mediocre future with him be worth having to endure his jabs at her identity, her class and her family?

Mr Graham and his father dealt with domesticated animals for a living. It was clear that they viewed Y/n just the same.

Thus, her mind was decided.

“I expected you to be grateful,” Mr Graham commented, confused as to why Y/n was not flattered that of all the two women who made eye contact with him at the town ball. It was she who received a proposal from him. “You do not exactly have an abundance of suitors lined up at your door. Not to mention, I was generous enough not to withdraw my proposal after you asked for... time to consider your answer.”

Out in the corridor, the two sisters exchanged glances. Philippa and Mrs Y/l/n both argued quietly over who was to barge in and reprimand Mr Graham.

“That is quite enough, Mr Graham,” Y/n hissed, beating both her mother and her aunt to it. Her mind was, after all, decided.

Y/n had struggled for most of her life with control in that she had little of it. If it was not society dictating how she was to live and breathe, it was her mother. This time would be different, Y/n decided.

This time, she would be taking control and making decisions based solely on her own input.

“Thank you for expressing your feelings, your family history and your intentions with such candour,” Y/n began sweetly. Just as she expected, Mr Graham took nothing but pride in what he believed was sincere gratitude. “And thank you for being so charitable as to offer a lowly woman such as myself a proposal of marriage.”

Philippa and Mrs Y/l/n listened in with concern. They both knew Y/n too well to believe that she send Mr Graham off with civility and decorum. Y/n was the least bit concerned for either.

“You have been so generous with your time,” Y/n continued. “Therefore, I will not keep you waiting any longer... Mr Graham, I will not be accepting your proposal.”

Y/n took great pleasure in rejecting his proposal. Mr Graham grew pale as he quickly realised what her answer was. He stood on the opposite side of the sitting room, yet Y/n was desperate to further away.

“You... You mustn’t be serious,” he exhaled dumbfounded. The man possessed a great ego when he first enters Y/n’s home. Thus she was determined to shrink, if not demolish it.

“On the contrary, sir,” Y/n smiled, this time genuinely. “I am perfectly serious.”

“S-surely you have not considered the ramifications of denying my proposal,” Mr Graham reasoned.

Y/n was far too accustomed to being lectured by white men on not considering her actions’ consequences. They, of all people, she believed, were the least bit qualified to talk another on such matters. Not when they are granted every luxury and advantage at birth.

“Miss Y/l/n, you must know, after two seasons of rejected proposals, it is doubtful you will receive another after me,” Mr Graham explained. He was merely adding insult to injury. “And with a dowry as small as yours, I predict your future will be bleak.”

“Perhaps you are right,” Y/n replied, her head held high as she knew Mr Graham was expecting her to be grovelling. “Perhaps I will not receive another proposal after you. Perhaps I will be doomed to live a life of struggle and severe austerity, but make no mistake Mr Graham. I would sooner commit to the life of an impoverished spinster than I would, ever again, entertain the prospect of being your wife.”

Y/n marched towards the door and swung it open, revealing Philippa and Mrs Y/l/n eavesdropping on their conversation. Y/n hoped that would be the case, as an audience’s presence prompted Mr Graham’s mortification to increase tenfold.

“I must ask you to leave immediately.”

Mr Graham did not wait another moment. He just about sprinted out the door, determined to never step foot in the Y/l/n home again. Y/n stood in the hallway with a smirk and a proud glimmer in her eye. If she felt as a result of taking control, her only regret was not doing so sooner.

Perhaps Y/n would regret her decision later in her life. Maybe she only created more issues for herself than anything else. However, all that would be affairs she would attend to last, in the far off future. For now, she was happy.

Y/n headed towards her bedroom without saying a word to her mother nor her aunt. She had not done so on purpose. She was simply desperate to change out of her corset and resume resting her fatigued body. Once Y/n was altered, she sat on the edge of her bed. As she let out an audible sigh, Y/n slumped her shoulders and fell back.

She had never been so grateful for her mattress.

Y/n closed her eyes momentarily. She was very sleep-deprived, yet she was on an incredible high from the adrenaline of rejecting Mr Graham so explicitly. Before she opened her eyes, Y/n felt the mattress sink at her sides. As she opened her eyes, she realised both her mother and aunt were lying beside her.

“I must apologise to you both,” Y/n explained, reach her arms out to hold each of their hands. “I have caused you both a great deal of grief. And it all appears to be in vain now that I have rejected Mr Graham.”

Philippa and Mrs Y/l/n turned to face Y/n, both with the same expression.

“You may be sorry for many things in life, dear,” Mrs Y/l/n began. “But you mustn’t dare apologise for denying Mr Graham’s hand... you mustn’t ever.”

Y/n smiled. She was unsure what motivated her motivated to have such a change in character. However, she was far too pleased with it to question it.

“Any thought as to what you will do now, dearest?” Philippa asked. She looked over to her niece with her brows raised, and her sister followed suit.

It was clear that neither of them could keep Y/n from doing what she wanted. Therefore, it was decided that both Philippa and Mrs Y/l/n would simply stand aside and hold her hand throughout it all. Y/n thought for a moment.

“Perhaps another season?” Y/n answered.

In an ideal world, Y/n would have opted for something different. Perhaps she would have embraced the idea of being a spinster. In perfect world, such a fate would not be so grim. However, that was not the world Y/n lived in.

And so she opted to embrace the best and only option she had.

“Truly, dear?” Mrs Y/l/n exclaimed. While she was overcome with excitement, she wanted to ensure it was her daughter’s genuine desire.

“Yes, mama,” Y/n insisted, smiling weakly. She hoped in time the prospect would become more appealing to her. “-and it will be much different this time, hopefully for the better, as I am now willing to comply with you and your rules and your overprotective nature. I want it all.”

Mrs Y/l/n did not take offence. Instead, she simply laughed and leaned her head in to kiss Y/n’s temple. She had raised a mighty blunt and greatly opinionated daughter.

Mrs Y/l/n was most proud of it.

“I must excuse myself,” Y/n’s mother said. She placed her arms behind her and lifted herself off Y/n’s mattress. “Your father will be delighted to hear the news, I am quite sure.”

Y/n laughed at her mother’s excitement. Once Mrs Y/l/n left to recount the morning to her husband, it was just Y/n and her aunt.

“I hope you won’t mind me asking, dear,” Philippa whispered, inching closer to her niece. She feared the next subject of conversation would strike a chord with Y/n. “Has any of this changed your feelings... towards Simon?”

“No,” Y/n answered shortly, her voice neither louder nor quieter than previously. “He will soon be a married man, so it is most appropriate I refrain from paying him any mind so as to not remind myself of my feelings for him.”

Philippa huffed, torn as to whether or not she should tell her niece. Would doing so disrupt the duke’s plans? Would it not be better for Y/n to hear the truth from Simon himself when he eventually came? Would he ever arrive?

“I, however, must admit- whatever rage and anger I once held against him has since passed,” Y/n sighed. “You were right in what you said before... Although it will not be me who marries Simon, I do hope to marry someone like him.”

Someone like who he was before he became Duke Hastings, Y/n thought.

“You do?” Philippa smiled. She decided not to reveal anything to her niece quite yet. Lady Bennet was confident such a task should be carried out by Simon and him only.

“Hmm,” Y/n nodded. “Someone of good character and of a kind heart. A man who does not resent me when I raise arguments but rather engages in them.”

“It is the least of what you deserve in a husband, my dear,” Philippa replied.

The two of them shuffled to the top of Y/n’s bed, where her pillows laid. Both were exhausted from travelling in from London and enduring what had been a most eventful morning.

They both remained silent to get some sleep in before Mrs Y/l/n would eventually call them down for breakfast. However, just as Philippa began to drift off, his niece disrupted the quiet.

“Aunt Philippa,” she murmured. “I never did ask you what exactly compelled you to come... let alone badger Mr Graham as a means of delaying his arrival.”

Y/n was unsure what she was expected her aunt to reply. Philippa grew nervous as she tried to respond in a manner that would not reveal the real reason she came to her sister’s home.

“I-I,” Philippa stammered quietly. “-I simply could not sit idle... and let you accept Mr Graham’s proposal.”

Y/n hummed before turning to her side. It was a predictable answer, yet it left her with a bitter feeling of disappointment. She slept without

Philippa sighed in relief before hoping that wherever Simon was, whatever it was he was doing that moment, that it would not hinder him any longer from finally reaching the Y/l/n home.

***

Y/n awoke from her nap to an empty bed and an open room. She was curious about where her aunt had gone, not to mention why her mother did not wake her for breakfast. The sky had darkened significantly since she first fell asleep, though Y/n was sure it was not yet evening.

She climbed out of bed and donned a simple dress. Y/n could hear the faint sound of her parents talking, so she suspected they were with Philippa. Afterwards, Y/n wandered down the steps of her home and headed to the dining room. The conversation grew quiet, prompting her to call out.

“Have you truly begun eating without me?” Y/n laughed as she pushed the doors open.

As she stepped inside, a man stood from his seat- across the table from Philippa and Mr and Mrs Y/l/n. He turned to face Y/n with his hands held behind his back.

“Simon.”

Y/n was awestruck. All she could say was his name, and after muttering it quietly when he stood, she found herself left speechless. What could motivation could he possibly have to travel there from London.

“His grace will be joining us for dinner,” Mrs Y/l/n explained, refuting Y/n’s last hopes that it was not yet evening. “It will not be ready for a small while, so perhaps you could walk him to the garden in the meantime.”

“‘Tis the best one in town,” Philippa commented, a reference to the wild goose chase she led Mr Graham on just earlier that day.

Y/n remained quiet, unsure as to what was happening. She expected her mother to be repulsed by the sight of Simon. Y/n had, after all, rejected countless marriage proposals for reasons involving him. However, she was not repulsed.

She was smiling. Glowing, rather. Even Philippa and Y/n’s father seemed to be beaming despite sitting in silence. Y/n could not decide whether that should comfort her or worry her.

“He requests a private audience with you before dinner is served,” Mrs Y/l/n continued.

“H-He... does?” Y/n stuttered, looking at Simon in confusion. He appeared to be avoiding her gaze, which further provoked her curiosity.

“I do,” Simon replied shortly.

Y/n turned to her mother in confusion. Indeed, she would not send her unmarried daughter off, with an available man, on an unchaperoned walk without explanation nor context.

“I cannot possibly leave you to make dinner alone, mama,” Y/n stated. The thought of walking with Simon, especially after the nature of their last conversation, left her much unsettled.

“Nonsense, I will offer my assistance,” Philippa responded. Y/n narrowed her eyes at her aunt. She had always avoided being in the kitchen with her sister by all means necessary.

“It is decided then,” Mrs Y/l/n cheered, guiding Simon and Y/n towards the door that led to their garden.

“Mama, it looks as though it will begin to rain,” Y/n whispered, hoping to stop her mother but to no avail.

“You will not be far from the house, dear,” Mrs Y/l/n replied, opening the back door and guiding the two outside. “Should that be the case, you need only take a short walk back.”

Before Y/n could think of another way to avoid the walk, her mother rushed inside, slamming the door close behind her. There was no more avoiding, it seemed. Y/n sighed before reluctantly walking towards her mother’s botanical garden.

He was initially quiet. Simon had rehearsed what he was to say several times before he arrived. However, it was not until he saw Y/n again that all his prepared words vanished from his memory.

Y/n was conflicted. She was overcome with a myriad of emotions, which always seemed to be the case for Simon. While she was still very hurt by his actions and was determined to voice her feelings, Y/n felt it necessary to first break the ice with civility.

“How long will you remain in town?” Y/n asked.

“I have not yet decided,” Simon answered, after a moment of deliberation. He believed it wise to tread lightly in their conversation, though he too was determined to let his feeling become known.

His answer left Y/n’s curiosity to grow.

“Why not?” She queried. “I suspect Miss Bridgerton will be eagerly awaiting your return to London.”

Simon smirked. He missed her witty remarks terribly, just as he missed her company. Y/n had not intended for her response to land with such snideness. However, it was clear to her that Simon did not resent it.

“You suspect wrong,” he answered gleefully, catching Y/n off guard. Simon took amusement in her confusion but did not hesitate to clarify the situation. “She has already promised her hand to another... His royal highness Prince Friedrich. I was informed of the news this morning.”

“You do not seem upset,” Y/n commented as she studied Simon carefully.

“That is precisely why I wished to speak with you,” he explained.

Simon stopped walking, prompting Y/n to do the same. They stood by her mother’s hyacinths, specifically the purple ones. Simon took inhaled deeply as he prepared to explain himself and as he hoped, with all his might, that she might forgive him.

“I lied to you,” he began.

“Yes,” Y/n muttered quickly before Simon could continue. Had he genuinely come all this way just to recount their argument, she wondered. “I remember our conversation vividly.”

“No,” Simon cried. “What I meant to say was that I lied to you... when I told you that I was courting Miss Bridgerton and that I intended to marry her.”

Y/n remained silent, allowing Simon to continue.

“She approached me earlier this season,” he explained. “- with a proposition that I pretend to court her. She needed more suitors, and I sought to improve my public image.”

Y/n recalled the countless articles written about Simon, painting him as a stoic and brooding snob. It made sense that he wanted to change this portrayal, Y/n, though.

“I tried my best to put an end to our pretence earlier... on the day you approached me at Hyde Park, in fact,” Simon said. “However, Miss Bridgerton was adamant that it continues until she could attract the attention of Prince Friedrich. And I had already given her my word not to reveal our ruse to another soul.”

Y/n remained quiet as she took in his revelation. The more Simon spoke, the more Y/n understood why he acted so cold to her. He was always most irritable when he was hiding something.

“Peach,” Simon sighed. He reached out for Y/n’s hand, and, to his surprise, she did not pull away. “For all the pain and sorrow I caused you that night at the gala, I am so sorry.”

She squeezed his hand tightly as a way of comforting him. Y/n knew the way Simon could be so cruel to himself. Considering the impossible position he was placed in, she could only imagine the extent to which this had been burdening him.

“While I wish I had been spared from getting hurt,” Y/n began. Simon winced but nodded. He, too, wished she had not been caught in the middle. “I do understand why you had to lie to me... and I think it unfitting if I were to continue to hold that against you.”

Simon exhaled in relief.

Y/n smiled, comforted by his reaction. She, too, was relieved. After the gala at the Danbury estate, Y/n deemed Simon a stranger, someone she could no longer recognise. Yet, as they stood opposite each other in her mother’s garden, Y/n felt she knew exactly who the man that stood before her was.

The two continued walking across her mother’s garden. After Simon thanked Y/n several times for being so understanding, she recounted her morning to him. Simon struggled to contain his laughter when Y/n explained the 9 gardens Philippa forced Mr Graham to stop.

“So what will you do now?” Simon asked curiously.

“I will have to endure another season,” Y/n replied. “I have already promised mama I would comply with her this time around. Hopefully, my luck has not yet run out."

Simon nodded, though he resisted the urge to frown. She appeared to be excited. Hopeful, even. He worried this indicated a change in her affections for him. Nonetheless, he cast his worries aside for a moment. Y/n’s happiness was his primary concern.

Simon thought back to the story Y/n told of her rejecting Mr Graham’s proposal. In particular, he remembered the comment Y/n said he made regarding how dowry.

“If that is the case,” he began. “Then I insist on making a donation... to contribute to your dowry.”

Y/n’s feet came to a halt as she furrowed her brows in both shock and confusion. Instinctively, she began devising a way to reject his offer without offending him. Y/n was never oblivious to the significant difference in her financial standing to Simon’s, but she certainly never wanted to take advantage of it.

“It can remain anonymous,” Simon insisted. He knew his offer was far from appropriate as a woman’s dowry was her family’s responsibility. However, that was precisely what Y/n was to him: family. “If you are concerned about what others might say, I assure you I will personally see to it that the donation remains private.”

“Simon, no-”

“- Please, I insist,” he held firmly. Y/n continued to shake her head profusely, but Simon refused to give in. “It is the least I can do after playing such a significant role in hindering you from marrying these past two seasons.”

Y/n paused, taken aback by the fact he knew that.

“Simon,” she began. Her tone was neither shocked nor angry. “You mustn’t hold yourself accountable for a decision I made. Yes, you may have been the reason for it, but it was I who ultimately made a choice... And I take full responsibility for the position I am now in as a result.”

Simon nodded sheepishly.

“Regardless,” he said softly. “I still insist... You mean a great deal to me, Peach. Ensuring you have a befitting dowry is the least of what I owe to you, particularly after all our years of friendship.”

The grey clouds grew darker as the weather turned sour, and the day slowly came to an end. However, that quickly became the least of Y/n concerns. Her lips parted briefly, but she struggled to say anything.

Simon let out a heavy exhale before reaching his hand into the pocket of his coat. He looked at Y/n and smiled. She still appeared adamant to deny his offer of making a donation to her father.

“Do you remember the story,” he began, “- of the first time we played in the maze at Lady Danbury’s home?”

Y/n chuckled, unsure whether he was serious or if the question were rhetorical.

“Of course you do,” Simon continued, laughing all the while. “You recount it at every available opportunity.”

His laughter was disrupted by Y/n’s fist, gently colliding with his shoulder.

“Please allow me to finish, Peach,” he cried as he rubbed his shoulder. Y/n rolled her eyes playfully but allowed him to continue nonetheless. “You recount it at every available opportunity, but you always failed to include the part of the story I favoured most.”

Y/n raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“After I found you in the maze- crying hysterically, I must add,” Simon quipped. As Y/n raised her hand to repeat her previous action, Simon caught her fist in his hand. Their eyes locked as he did so, and the tension between them grew this. Y/n lowered her hand coughed awkwardly, prompting Simon to continue. “I took you to see Lady Danbury’s fruit orchids.”

Simon’s smile grew remarkably wide. He had purposely refrained from retelling his favourite part of the maze story to Y/n. He was most excited to finally do so.

“You ran straight for one tree in particular,” Simon said. Y/n’s brows snapped together as she tried to remember. “I picked some fruit, and we ate it beneath that tree. However, you were still quite upset, and that was when I assured you I never would have left you behind... Do you remember which tree we sat beneath?”

After giving it a moment of thought, Y/n gasped quietly when she finally remembered. She looked back to Simon and smiled. In a quiet whisper, she answered his question.

“Peach.”

Simon nodded. It was after that day that he refrained from calling Y/n by her name. After they left Danbury’s orchids when he chose to instead call her ‘Peach’ to remind himself of that day on of his promise not to leave her behind. Despite falling short on that promise, Simon was determined to fulfil it.

He took a step towards Y/n and slowly replaced his grin to express both sincerity and fear. Y/n studied him in anticipation of what he was to say next. Simon seemed greatly troubled by something, she thought.

“If you wish to find another suitor next season,” Simon started, unable to hide the sorrow he felt at imagining it. He inhaled sharply and, in doing so, forced himself to remain composed. “I will do everything in my power to help you in your pursuits. Whether that be in the form of financial support or advice. Whatever it is you may need from me, Peach... my answer will always be yes.”

Y/n’s eyes widened, and her mouth curled into a frown. She could see right through Simon’s attempts to his sadness.

“But if there is any chance,” he question, his tone frantic and desperate. He inched forward slightly and deepened his gaze at Y/n before he continued. “If there is even a fleeting chance that your feelings towards me are... are as they were before, then please tell me now.”

Just as he finished speaking, droplets of rain began to fall. They grew bigger and more rapid as time went on, but neither Simon nor Y/n noticed. Both were far too concerned with the affairs of their affections for one another.

Y/n held her breath as she looked at Simon. Earlier that day, she decided to enter her third season. She had finally come to terms with knowing that casting aside her feeling for Simon would be her best method of moving forward. Yet as they stood in her mother’s garden, she found herself with no choice but to confront them.

“They are,” she confessed, her voice almost overpowered by the sound of the rainfall, though just loud enough for Simon to hear. “My feelings for you, they... they have not changed.

Her words were music to his ears. Simon reached his arm out and took hold of her hand. He felt his heartbeat rapidly against his chest. Despite the cold and wet weather, Simon felt a warm sensation in his chest.

“I must assure you,” he spoke, glancing down at the sight of her hand in his. “This is not a result of impulse or of the heat of the moment. Rather, this is something I have anticipated doing, I... I have desperately hoped to be able to do for quite some time.”

“Simon,” Y/n quavered. “W-What are you referring to?”

Simon looked up at the sky. He laughed as the heavy rain showered over his face, and then he turned back to Y/n. She did not move from where she stood but, instead, studied Simon closely. Her mouth fell agape when, without a moment’s notice, Simon knelt down.

Y/n gasped. There was a loud slushing sound made as Simon’s knee sunk into the mud. He was unfazed by it, which made Y/n shock only grow. He couldn’t be, she thought. It was not possible. And indeed, if he intended to do as she suspected, he would live to regret it.

In a swift motion, she too fell her knee. Standing up while Simon knelt before she felt all too overwhelming. Y/n was confident he was not serious, despite him expressing profusely that he was. Simon’s eyes grew wide as he looked down and noticed the mud-splattered across the hem of Y/n’s gown.

“Peach, your dress-”

“Never mind my dress,” Y/n croaked. “Simon, what are you doing?”

“What I should have done two years ago,” he replied instantly.

Y/n clasped her hand over her mouth. Her hair and her clothes were drenched from the rainfall, as was Simon’s, yet neither seemed to notice. He reached out and took hold of her free hand.

“I know I am the least bit deserving of your hand, as well as of course your forgiveness and your friendship,” Simon began. “However, these past years away from you, and these past two days in particular... They have been pure torment. And I have since realised that I would be a fool not to make an offer of marriage to you and hope that you would be so kind as to accept it, because... Well, because I love you, Peach. Fervently so.”

“What... What about your vow to never marry?” Y/n asked.

Indeed he had not thought this entirely through, she wondered. This was the moment, she believed. The moment he would take back his proposal.

“You said before that I have the luxury to choose while you do not,” Simon answered. Slowly, he let go of Y/n hand and lifted it to her face, holding the side of her cheek tenderly. “Well... I believe it’s due time that my choices begin constituting to my happiness... and that of the only woman I love.”

Tears welled up in Y/n’s eyes and began to trickle down her face as she wept. She felt it surreal, the fact that Simon was offering his hand to her. And as it appeared, she had run out of reasons to argue against it.

“I know I have caused you much suffering,” Simon sighed, rubbing his thumb gently across Y/n’s cheek, wiping her tears away while doing so. “But I am determined to spend the rest of my life atoning for it by doing everything in my power to ensure your happiness... That is if you will have me?”

Y/n thought of her mother’s advice earlier regarding how one’s words indicate one character and their intentions. She thought of how all her past suitors made proposals from a place of arrogance, how they all made the argument that their financial standing was reason enough for her accept.

That was not what mattered most to Y/n.

Love and happiness; that was what she sought most from marriage. After years of being told that to do so was naïve and pointless, Simon was offering precisely that.

“Yes,” Y/n answered, laughing beneath her breath as she exhaled. She stood up and planted her feet firmly in the mud before reaching her hand down to help Simon do the same.

“Yes?” Simon repeated in disbelief.

Y/n chuckled and helped him to stand, after which she reached her hands out and placed them on the sides of his face. Even in the pouring raid and even covered in mud from the waist down, he was still so beautiful, she thought. Simon precisely the same of her

“Yes! I... I will marry you,” Y/n declared, her smile growing wider as she spoke. She could not make that statement repeatedly when she would eventually share the news.

Simon wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He leaned closer to her slowly and kissed her sweetly. Y/n held the sides of his face firmly, pulling him even closer to her, causing him to smile against her lips. Shortly after, Simon slowly pulled away, leaving Y/n gasping for air.

“I am sorry it took me so long to do this, Peach,” he said softly, gazing apologetically at the woman he could finally address as his fiancee.

“It does not matter anymore, Simon,” Y/n replied, pressing her temple against his.

He grinned before leaning in to kiss her once more. Y/n lowered her hands and left them placed against his coat’s lapels. She wished for the moment to last a lifetime. However, as the rain grew heavier and the sky grew darker, Simon pulled away again.

“Perhaps we should return,” Simon suggested, despite much enjoying being alone with Y/n. She immediately groaned at the thought of going back. “I imagine your mother will be quite cross if we miss dinner.”

“Simon... I have waited a very long time for this moment,” Y/n began. “I will not be rushed by you or my mama.”

Simon laughed before kissing her once again.

When they finally walked back to the house, Simon continued to glance over at Y/n and at the sight of their hands intertwined. He thought of all the different ways things could have ended between them.

What would have happened if she had accepted Mr Graham’s proposal or even that of her previous suitors? What would have happened if he did, in fact, marry Miss Bridgerton? What would have happened if he had just proposed to her when she first confessed her feelings to him?

Simon wondered how many times things could have drastically been made different between them. He thought of how many choices, events and actions dictated whether they would ever be engaged.

And all he could do was smile at his beautiful fiancee and be completely and utterly grateful that this was how their story concluded.

@fuckoffthanos @awesomebooklover17 @shadowfoxey @eternallyvenus @smol-grandpa @deakesthegreatest

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