#that if i was uncomfortable with what was going on i needed to just shut up and live with it
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I can’t stop thinking about bratty princess reader x bodyguards 141
Something something your life is ruined now that your father has hired four broody body guards to be with you at all times. They usually rotate shifts, one staying with you at all times.
Sometimes events call for three of them or all of them. So when it’s time for a royal ball and three of them are needed, Simon opts to sit this one out in hopes to avoid the uncomfortable socialization.
After the ball, John stays at the palace with you and Kyle and Johnny join Simon back at their residence. Simon is absolutely baffled when the boys don’t shut up about how bratty you were and the major attitude adjustment you need.
Talking about how you refused to follow directions, even when they were for your safety. Refused to buckle up in the car and struggled so much that Johnny had to hold you down while Kyle buckled you up. Pouting the rest of the way home. Refused to eat dinner at the ball and insisted they stop at a drive through even though that wasn’t on your itinerary. Threatening to get them fired if they don’t take you.
The boys go on and on about your behavior and Simon just listens, dumbfounded.
“What’s that face for Riley? She even worse with you?” Johnny asks with a frustrated tone.
Simon shakes his head. “No attitude for me.”
The boys both start laughing. There’s no way that’s true. You’re truly a spoiled rotten brat, they think. There’s no way that he’s serious.
They never believe him until there’s an event that calls for all four of them. Simon’s with you at the palace while you get ready. The three boys pull up out front ready for you to join.
They watch as you walk nicely to the car and climb into the middle settling in next to Johnny. Simon climbs in after you. The boys are ready for the battle of asking you to buckle up.
“Buckle, princess” Simon grumbles.
“Yes, Mr. Riley.” The car goes silent. Johnny and Kyle look like their eyes are about to pop out of their head. John doesn’t miss the way your cheeks blushed red.
The car ride is silent. The boys are too shocked to say anything. Since when did you have manners and the ability to follow instructions? John drives with a grin on his face. Simon is unphased as you rest your head on his shoulder.
At the event, you are on your best behavior. You eat your food, move when instructed to move, and smile the whole time. The boys are genuinely so shocked at this new side of you. They watch in awe as Simon approaches you and the ever present feisty look is no where to be found.
“Ready to go?” Simon asks softly.
“Can we please stay a little longer?” You ask so kindly. Simon nods and finds his protective position.
“Did she just say please?” Johnny asked exasperated.
“She doesn’t even know what that word means!?!?” Kyle is just as shocked. John just chuckles and shakes his head.
They then watch as minutes pass and you gently tap Simon and tell him you are ready to leave.
When you get to the car, Johnny decides to put this to the test. Simon gets you in the car and closes the door to talk to the event staff before leaving.
“Buckle up sweetheart.” Johnny instructs.
You give him a polite nod and buckle up quickly. John lets out a chuckle and before Johnny can’t say anything before Simon is joining them in the car. “Bloody hell.” is all that is heard as the car falls silent.
On the way home, you lean over the Simon and ask if you could stop for ice cream. He replies with a simple “No, princess” and is met with no reaction from you. A slight nod and your head falls back against his shoulder.
Kyle is about to lose it. You threatening to get them fired if they didn’t take you through the drive through the other day. What the fuck has Simon done to you??
Something something and now it’s the end of the night. Simon has got you settled into bed and walks into the castle living room to review how tonight went with the security team.
“What the fuck did you do to her?” Johnny and Kyle stare at him as if he’s accomplished the impossible.
“Told ya, no attitude with me.”
John chuckles and pats Simon on the back as he grins.
A/n: is this dumb?? It’s been eating my brain for a four hour car ride 😭😭
#fanfic#ghost cod#call of duty#ghost#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#tf141#tf 141 x reader#body guard#tf141 x you
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I adore your best friend's older sister! Sevika headcanons, literally been rereading since last night 😫
I had a thought, a little crumb, a little ✨food for thought ✨, but what about Best friend's older sister! Sevika getting jealous. Maybe they aren't together yet and she spots reader getting a lil too cozy with another friend. Or maybe they are together and Sevika is not liking the way reader's coworker is gettin a lil too comfy 👀😤
I've truly thought about this too often lol, sorry for the rambles ♡
best friend's older sister!sevika getting jealous <3
note to anon: BAE DON'T APOLOGIZE THIS IDEA IS SOOOO <33 and omg thank you so so much!! I'm so happy you like it hehe. so, I decided to expand upon the first idea you gave because it's so so good, though I LOVE both. like, thank you so much for sending these thoughts AHHH <33
so, I totally agree with you that best friend's older sister!sevika would definitely be possessive. it's only worsened pre-confession because you're not hers yet, so she doesn't feel like she has much of a right to do anything about it. at least if you guys were together, she could wrap her arm around your waist or kiss your head, something silent to signify to others that you're hers.
but, as much as you two have teased and been pushing and pulling these past few months, that's all it's been. push, pull, push, pull. no confession, no asking out, no dates. and, listen, sevika doesn't mind the long game necessarily -- she knew from the get go that if she was gonna be pursuing you, it'd have to be serious. she wasn't about to get into some vague, unidentified shit with her sister's best friend. not only would her sister kill her for that, but it's not even what she's interested in in the first place. it's easy to talk to you, to trust you. it's easy to want something longterm with you. but, longterm means she needs to put in the work of trusting you. and for her, that takes a while. so, she doesn't mind the long game.
what she does mind, though, is that taking things slow means that in this whole getting-to-know-you phase, she doesn't know exactly where your head is at. if you want something serious, if you're ready for a relationship. she knows she should be asking you these questions, but as much as she hates to admit it, it makes her uncomfortable to think of being so honest about these feelings of hers. and what being honest could potentially lead to, like a pierce into your guys' relationship, whatever the hell it is.
but, goddammit, is it fucking hard to not grab you, drag you to her room and show you exactly how she feels when you're on the living room couch, canoodling up to one of the girls in yours and her sister's friend group. she knows how it is for you guys. no boundaries, endless amounts of teasing, flirting, nasty jokes. but, that doesn't make it any easier to see you nuzzling your head into one of their shoulders, the two of you swapping and laughing hysterically over suggestive comments about leaving the room to do some "private activities."
sevika grits her teeth from where she can hear the conversation, gripping the handle to the fridge hard. she sucks in a sharp breath, shakes her head, and grabs her bottle of water from the side shelf. shutting it close quietly, she makes her way to her bedroom, sock-clad feet heavy against the wood.
when she walks past your group, practically cuddled in the living room, she nods quietly at the group of you guys, feeling her shoulders tense up when you and her make eye contact. your head darts off your friend's shoulder, and she nearly snickers. you really aren't subtle when it comes to paying her attention. and today, she doesn't feel like returning it, her stomach clenched in anger over the unabashed flirting she just overheard.
she's in the middle of tinkering at her desk, tweaking some annoying shit that keeps making a scraping noise every few hours, when a knock comes to her room.
"yeah?" she mutters, trying not to throw the screwdriver right at the wall.
when you poke your head in, she glances at your momentarily before continuing her work. she hates how her stomach flips at your arrival, how she suddenly feels clumsy with the tools under your gaze.
"what?"
you start from where you lean on her doorframe. "I just, um, wanted to check if we're good?"
"just peachy," she huffs out, dragging her wrist past her brow, which is sticky with sweat. "why?"
"well, um..." you trail off, shifting on your feet. "you usually smile or say hi now, and right now, you didn't."
she feels a flash of irrational annoyance. she doesn't like the fact that you can read her so easily, as though you have her constantly under a microscope. she doesn't wanna have to deal with her jealousy, her feelings, but you cornering and confronting her like this doesn't make that easy.
"I'm fine."
she blinks hard at the gears when her bedroom door softly clicks shut.
"no, you're not. sevika, come on, what's wrong?" you trot over to her desk, standing right next to her, shoving your presence into her space. "tell me."
she sighs, her body stiff with embarrassment and irritation at your stubbornness. god, things would be so much easier if you weren't so damn feisty, always snapping back at her. but, at the same time, though she'd never tell you, she can't help but like your persistence.
"do you have to be so damn flirty with all your friends?" she bites, immediately regretting the words as soon as they shoot out. so much for subtlety.
your head jerks back. "that's why you're upset? sevika, I've always flirted with them, you know that. I'm sure you've seen your fair share of it for years now."
"yeah, well, now, it's different." she keeps her eyes locked onto the desk, and when she realizes just how thinly veiled the implication of her words are, she rushes to add, "now, I think it's risky shit. you know, someone could get the wrong idea."
you scoff. "it's been like this for years. no one will get the wrong idea."
she rolls her eyes, grumbling incoherent words. she knows you're right. she's made her own fair share of jokes like that with her buddies, even the ones she wouldn't be caught dead with in any lifetime. and you're right, your little gang has always been like this. but, none of that helps to dampen the burning irritation that grows in her stomach when she sees you being so touchy with someone who isn't her. with someone who may think they have a chance with you, no matter how slim. she doesn't want you to have options, she wants to be the only one you see in that way.
"and I don't want you to get the wrong idea, either."
she freezes at the words, her hand stilling.
you inch in closer and your warm palm rests on her shoulder. she feels something stir inside her at the touch, wishing you'd slide the rest of your hand down her arm. you guys have touched briefly, sure, but it's usually fleeting, teasing. this, though? this is tender, and -- it's intimate. you're trying to reassure her, she can tell. she knows it's a nice thing to do, but a part of her cringes at the fact that her feelings were so badly concealed that you even needed to comfort her at all. she should be better than this.
"I don't see anyone in my group like that, okay?" you pause, and the silence between you two thickens. right before it becomes suffocating to the point of sevika forcing herself to respond, you add, your voice quiet and shaky, "trust me, it's not my friends whose attention I want like that. just one other person... who's close by."
her nostrils flare, her breaths feeling tighter than before. are you saying what she thinks you are?
"okay," she manages to get out.
"okay." your hand slips from her shoulder, and she feels the cold of your absence as you turn to leave. without thinking, her hand flies up, catching yours.
your head whips to her in surprise, eyes wide and curious.
she thumbs at your pulse point, some of her confidence regaining through feeling how it spikes. but, still, there's an undercurrent of discomfort, so she tries to steady her voice before saying, "you know, I have a pretty good shoulder too."
you laugh, ducking your head down. sevika tries not to pull you in closer, coax you to look at her when she talks. "yes, I'm sure you do," you respond, a sarcastic lilt to your voice.
"well, obviously. you're always checking me out when I work out."
you splutter, eyebrows scrunched indignantly. "well, that's because you insist on working out in front of us always! for all I know, maybe you're the one who's into someone in our group."
your voice is mocking, but sevika hears the tremors of it towards the end. are you nervous that she maybe is into someone else but you? or are you hopeful it's you?
you gave her a bit of assurance, so she might as well return the favour.
"maybe there is someone I'm trying to impress. someone who'd maybe notice that more if they weren't always shoving their face in other people's chests."
she can see how your eyes bulge at the semi-confession, your palm slick with sweat in her hand. your mouth flaps open for a few seconds, before shakily saying, "well, you did offer yourself up as a substitute."
her cheeks ache with how hard she's trying not to grin too widely. "don't get too excited."
you wring your hand from her grip, smiling coyly as you reach for her doorknob. "I'll try to contain myself."
#WROTE THIS IN A RUSH BC I'M HEADING OUT SOON BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY HEHE#not proofread I'm sorryyyy#s.writing#sevika#sevika x reader#sevika x you#arcane x you
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CROSSING THE LINE — PART FIVE ♡
paige x azzi
word count: 7.3k
A/N: This one lowkey took me longer than usual because I tried to make sure I represented both of their situations accurately. You'll get some resolution in this but it's definitely not going to just be rainbows and sunshine forever. Please keep up the comments and reactions!! I love reading what you guys have to say.
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The air in Aaliyah’s suite was tense, a quiet hum of anticipation hanging over the room as the team started trickling in. A few of them had already claimed spots on the couch or floor and the TV was muted, some random game playing in the background, but nobody paid it any attention.
Ice and KK walked in together, loud as always, and Caroline entered not long after, her phone still in hand, followed by Amari who looked between them all with curious eyes.
The moment the door clicked shut behind the last person Nika didn’t waste time. She pushed herself off the counter she was leaning against and addressed everyone.
“They slept together.”
A stunned silence followed.
“Who?” KK broke the silence first, confused without any context. Ice who was sitting next to her just smacked her on the head as it was obvious with who was missing from the room.
Nika, confirming anyway, just said “Paige and Azzi.” Her voice was steady, but her expression reflected how serious the situation was with the two of them not talking. “Paige told me like an hour ago.”
A chorus of reactions broke out, some shocked and others not surprised at all.
“I knew it,” Q muttered under her breath, earning an incredulous side glance from Ice.
“So why did this cause World War Two?” KK asked, raising an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t that be good news? Thought you were supposed to be a bundle of joy after doing the do.”
A chuckle escaped Nika as she continued, “Paige said Azzi was gone when she woke up. Like, left without a word, turned her phone off. And now they haven’t really talked since and it’s messier than it needs to be honestly.”
“Wait—what?” Ice sat up straighter. “Why the hell would Azzi do that?”
“Chill out,” Caroline interjected, her tone calm but firm. “We don’t know the full story. Don’t start judging before you do.”
The room went quiet again, but Nika’s gaze zeroed in on Caroline. Something about her reaction struck a chord.
“You know something, don’t you?” Nika’s question wasn’t accusatory, but it was sharp enough to get everyone else’s attention. “If you do, you need to tell us. We can’t help them if we don’t know what’s going on.”
Caroline hesitated, her fingers tightening around her phone. She glanced around the room, her lips pressing into a thin line as she debated whether to speak.
Aubrey, sitting cross-legged on the floor near the couch, leaned forward. “Come on, Car. We need to know. We barely scraped by last game and Geno was pissed, it’s only going to get harder from here. If we don’t fix whatever is going on between them, it’s going to fuck up the season.”
Caroline let out a heavy breath, her internal conflict evident. Azzi was one of her closest friends, and she knew how private Azzi was, especially about something as personal as this. But the situation was already affecting the team on and off the court and it had been almost a month.
“Alright,” Caroline said slowly, her voice low. “Yes, Azzi left and asked me to take her to the airport, and trust me, I told her how stupid it was after she told me what happened. But she said she needed to, and I didn’t push her because she looked like she was about to fall apart.” She paused, shifting uncomfortably as all eyes were on her. “I don’t really know what happened while she was gone, just that when I picked her up from the airport when she got back she was... excited. I mean, I hadn’t seen her like that in a while. I honestly don’t really know what happened after that, but something must’ve gone wrong because she was in my room crying the next day. She wouldn’t tell me anything though.”
The room was silent for a beat as everyone absorbed Caroline’s words. Then Ice leaned forward, her face reflecting she was piecing things together. “Wait, when Azzi got back that Monday?”
“Yeah,” Caroline nodded. “Why?”
Ice leaned forward her expressions showing she was slowly starting to piece things together. “Because I was in the suite when Azzi got back.”
All eyes turned to Ice as she continued. “Azzi came back to our suite. I was on the couch playing the game when she walked in. She seemed... kinda nervous but a little giddy. Like she wanted to go see Paige but wasn’t sure if she should. She was about to just walk in her room but I told her to knock knowing Paige was in there with some girl. I didn’t know they slept together when this happened though.”
“Azzi saw her?” Nika asked, breaking the silence.
Ice nodded grimly. “Yeah. Azzi looked like she was about to throw up. And when Azzi didn’t say anything Paige just…slammed the door in her face.”
“Okay,” Nika began cautiously, “so Azzi left after they—” she hesitated, glancing around, “—you know. And when she came back, she saw Paige with someone else in her room?”
“Paige definitely made herself freak out because Azzi left,” Aubrey chimed in, her voice picking up speed as she worked through it, “but Azzi is upset because Paige started sleeping around again?”
“That’s what it sounds like,” Caroline said slowly. “Azzi probably thought Paige didn’t care. I mean, she comes back all excited, and then... that’s what she walks into? Of course she’d feel like she was just another hookup.”
With Caroline’s words, the puzzle finally clicked into place for the team. The fragmented bits of the story now became slightly whole.
Ice was the first to speak, her arms crossing as she leaned back on the couch. “We just need to make them talk.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Aaliyah said, her tone cautious. “They both still seem really emotional. Forcing a conversation might just make things worse.”
“They aren’t even upset anymore,” Ice shot back quickly, shaking her head. “They both just walk around the suite like sad puppies at this point. They’re miserable, and we’re all stuck watching it. They literally just need to speak to each other, and I’m sure all of this can be solved.”
Finally, Ice shrugged, leaning back against the arm of the couch. “You know what? I’ll handle it. I live with them. When they’re both back in the suite later, I’ll make sure they talk.”
“You think that’ll work?” Aubrey asked skeptically.
“It’s better than just sitting here and doing nothing,” Ice said. “I’ll lock them in the same room if I have to.”
There was a mix of amused chuckles and wary glances around the room, but no one disagreed. If anyone could nudge Paige and Azzi toward finally talking, it was their third roommate.
…
Later that day, Azzi was in her room, the faint sound of music playing softly behind the closed door as she was reading a book. Ice was laying on the couch in the common area, idly scrolling on her phone, when she heard the door to the suite open.
Paige walked in, her steps slow, her eyes still slightly puffy from the tears she’d cried earlier. She didn’t look up as she moved toward her room, clearly hoping to slip in without being addressed.
Ice sat up fast, her voice bursting with fake excitement. “P Boogers I miss you!”
Paige paused, startled, but a small fond smile tugged at her lips as she slightly rolled her eyes. She turned to Ice, trying to match her energy, though it didn’t fully reach her eyes. “Hi, Isuneh. I miss you too.”
She made to continue toward her room, but Ice wasn’t having it. “Hey, hey, come here,” Ice called out, patting the couch beside her.
Paige frowned, confused. “What? Why?”
“Just do it,” Ice insisted with a grin that didn’t leave room for argument.
Still puzzled, Paige hesitated before sighing and walking over. She plopped down onto the couch, sitting at the edge as she glanced sideways at Ice.
“Good,” Ice said, clapping her hands together before standing up. “Stay right there. I’ll be right back.”
Before Paige could question her further, Ice headed to Azzi’s door. She knocked twice, then opened it without waiting for an answer.
“Yes?” Azzi’s voice was a bit flat, but Ice ignored the tone, walking in and grabbing her by the arm.
“Come on,” Ice said, tugging her toward the door.
Azzi frowned, resisting. “What are you doing?”
“Family meeting,” Ice said, her grip firm.
“Family meeting?” Azzi repeated, confused.
“Yes, and you’re coming,” Ice replied, dragging her out of the room despite her protests.
A moment later, Ice reappeared in the common area, Azzi in tow. She plopped Azzi down on the couch right next to Paige, who looked at her wide-eyed.
“Ice what are you doing?” Paige asked, her voice uneasy as her gaze darted between Ice and Azzi.
Ice grinned, crossing her arms and standing in front of them. “You two are gonna talk.”
Both Paige and Azzi started to protest at the same time, but Ice cut them off with a sharp look. “Nope. No excuses. You’re fixing this. Right here. Right now.”
Paige sighed heavily, crossing her arms. “Ice, we’re not just going to magically fix this because you say so.”
Azzi looked equally unimpressed, her arms folding across her chest. “For once in a while I agree with her.”
Ice rolled her eyes at their ridiculousness already, planting her hands on her hips. “Y'all are so damn stubborn. I’m not asking for magic, just a conversation. You’re still capable of that right? ”
Neither of them responded, the silence thick with unease.
“Fine,” Ice pressed, her tone firm. “Don’t talk, but you’re not leaving this couch until you do.”
Paige shifted uncomfortably, glancing quickly at Azzi, who stubbornly avoided her gaze. After a long pause, Azzi finally sighed and muttered, “Fine. I’ll talk. But I can’t do this with you here, Ice.”
Ice arched a skeptical brow. “Oh, sure. Because the second I leave, you’ll both magically become chatty besties?”
Azzi glared at her. “I’m serious. I’m not doing this with an audience.”
Paige chimed in softly, her tone more sincere. “Ice, it’s okay. We’ll talk. I promise.”
Ice’s gaze darted between them, her arms still crossed. “You better. Because if I come back and one of you is sulking in your room, I’m locking you both in the pantry.”
Azzi gave her an exasperated look, but Paige offered a small, reassuring smile. “We’ll talk,” she said again.
After a long moment of hesitation, Ice finally relented. “Fine,” she said, stepping back. “But don’t make me regret trusting you two, I’ll get hell if I don’t come back with results.”
She paused before leaving, “And don’t yell at each other. You both hate it and it leads to nothing.”
Azzi muttered under her breath, “No promises,” earning a slight scoff from Paige, who crossed her arms but said nothing.
With that, Ice retreated to her room, closing the door behind her.
Once Ice left the silence hung between Paige and Azzi for a while, the suite so quiet they could hear the music coming from Azzi’s room. Paige was picking at her nails absentmindedly, her gaze unfocused as she tried to keep herself from spiraling being so close to Azzi. Beside her, Azzi sat quietly, her fingers subconsciously playing with her necklace, the motion almost automatic at this point.
After what felt like an eternity, Azzi finally broke the silence, her voice soft but cutting slightly. “You don’t have to sit here and pretend you want to talk to me P. It’s fine.”
Paige immediately looked up as if she was waiting for Azzi to speak first. Confused, she says, “Huh, what are you talking about?”
Azzi sighed, clearly already frustrated. She stared at the floor, avoiding Paige’s gaze. "Nothing, Paige. Nevermind.”
But the silence didn’t last long. Azzi’s tone changed, turning a little sharper, more pointed as she finally voiced the question that had been on her mind since she came back to Storrs. "Did you even get to clean the sheets before you had somebody else in your bed?"
Paige blinked, her eyes narrowing slightly, before her initial shock turned into something else—a mix of frustration and defensiveness. She didn’t want to engage in the hurtful back-and-forth, but the words spilled out before she could stop them. “I don’t know Azzi... maybe you would know if you cared to stick around to find out.”
The room fell quiet again, the jabs leaving an uncomfortable space between them that they clearly didn’t want. Neither of them moved, neither of them said anything at first, as though they were both waiting for the other to break the silence. Finally, Azzi’s voice broke through again, softer but no less pointed.
“Did it not mean anything to you Paige?” Azzi’s words were steady, almost too steady, but there was an underlying vulnerability to them.
Paige’s chest tightened, and she leaned back on the couch, rubbing her face with her hands, trying to gather her thoughts. She wasn’t ready for this conversation—not yet, so she played the confused card. “Did what not mean anything?” Her voice was weary, a little guarded, as she avoided looking directly at Azzi.
Azzi didn’t hesitate, her tone unwavering. “You immediately started sleeping around again. It was like you finally got me to sleep with you, and then I wasn’t a second thought anymore. Just like everybody else.”
Paige’s jaw clenched, and she looked at Azzi, disbelief flickering in her eyes. “That’s ridiculous,” she said, her voice low but firm.
The silence stretched between them again before Paige let out a long, shaky sigh. She leaned forward, folding her arms across her chest, her gaze softening as she met Azzi’s eyes. “You left me,” she said quietly.
Her chest tightened as she continued, the pain in her voice unmistakable. "The morning after Halloween, you were gone. No note, no message, nothing. You just disappeared like what happened didn’t matter at all to you!" Her voice was a little too loud.
Azzi flinched, her eyes flickering with frustration as she said “Paige, stop yelling. We haven’t even started yet and you’re already yelling.”
Paige paused her tears threatening to spill again. She exhaled sharply, biting her lip, before letting out a deep sigh. The volume of her voice softened, but the hurt was still evident. “Do you know what that fucking felt like, Az?” Her voice was lower now, still raw but controlled. “To physically lay out your heart to someone... to try to be completely fucking vulnerable, and then wake up to nothing? To have someone vanish and act like it was all nothing? Like I didn’t mean anything to them?”
Azzi opened her mouth, but no words came out at first. She swallowed hard, fighting back the lump in her throat. “That’s not what happened, Paige,” she said, her voice quieter now, trying to calm the tension between them.
Paige shook her head, disbelief flashing in her eyes. “That’s exactly what happened,” she countered. “You left. No explanation. Nothing. And then you came back and acted like nothing changed. Knocking on my door with this look on your face like you didn’t even care how you made me feel while you were gone.”
Azzi’s expression twisted, her own frustration building. “No, Paige! You treated me like I was just some random UConn slut you could forget about—” Her voice was sharp, echoing in the room, until Paige gave her a look that made her pause. Azzi’s face softened, and she exhaled shakily. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, glancing away. “I didn’t mean to yell.” She looked back at Paige, her eyes dark with emotion as she continued, her voice quieter. “You just... you made me feel like I didn’t matter.”
Paige’s confusion deepened, her brow furrowing. “Azzi, what are you talking about? I basically worshiped you that night” she said, her voice softer now but still filled with hurt.
She tried to explain, her voice almost shaking with emotion. “After we... After we slept together, and things got a little unclear, you just went right back to doing the same thing you always do. You slept with any girl who came your way, and I was just left there to watch, to hear it. It felt like I was nothing to you. Like I was some one-night stand you got bored with.”
“You ignored me for days, Azzi,” Paige’s voice cracked slightly, the pain evident in each word. “What was I supposed to think? Your phone was off. You didn’t send a single message telling me where you were or what was going on. You just left me hanging, and now you’re acting like it’s all on me?” Her breath came in shallow gasps as she spoke, the frustration of everything unresolved coming to a head.
Azzi opened her mouth to respond, but Paige wasn’t done. The words were spilling out now, a flood of everything she had been holding in. “I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t think, honestly. I woke up the next morning, and you were just gone. And for three days, you didn’t give me a single word. Not one thing to hold onto, or look forward to. What was I supposed to think?”
The words cut through the silence between them, each one a strike against the walls they’d been building around themselves. Azzi’s gaze flickered away for a moment, her chest rising and falling in slow, shaky breaths. She looked down, her voice small but steady as she spoke, barely above a whisper.
“I just needed time,” she said, her words full of vulnerability. “I needed time to think, to figure everything out. I didn’t know how to process what happened. I didn’t want to do anything rash.”
“How the hell was I supposed to guess that, Az?” Paige’s voice rose, her emotions spilling over. “You just vanished and didn’t think to tell me anything—not one hint of where your head was at. Was I supposed to just sit there waiting for you to come back with some grand explanation? How was I supposed to trust that you’d even come back with something?”
“Stop yelling,” Azzi said simply, her tone firm but not angry.
Paige sighed, running a hand through her hair as she leaned back on the couch, forcing herself to lower her voice. “I’m sorry…How was I supposed to know, Az? You left me to figure it out all on my own.”
Azzi’s eyes softened with regret as she let out a shaky breath. “I thought... I thought you’d trust me, P. I thought you’d understand that I needed space. I didn’t want to hurt you by saying the wrong thing, or worse, doing something I couldn’t take back.”
Paige’s tone softened, but the hurt was still evident in her words. “It’s hard to trust someone who walked out on you. How can I trust you when you just disappeared? You don’t do that to someone after they open up to you. You don’t vanish for days and leave them wondering if they ever meant anything to you.”
Azzi’s expression twisted, frustration mingling with sadness. “I was ready to talk when I got back home. I had it all figured out,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “But when I came back, you had some random girl in our suite, probably ready to fuck her. You didn’t even try to talk to me. So no, I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t even look at you after I saw that.”
The silence that followed was deafening, both of them sitting with the weight of the words they’d thrown at each other.
Paige finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t know what else to do, Azzi. I didn’t know if you were coming back, if you even cared enough to try.”
Paige’s breath hitched as she continued, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she looked at Azzi. “I know I shouldn’t have done that, and I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking. “It just felt like you didn’t care and that was the only thing I could come up with.”
Azzi finally glanced at Paige, the regret and longing in her eyes almost overwhelming. She hesitated before scooting closer, slowly reaching out to take Paige’s hand in hers, their fingers lacing together. The touch was hesitant but full of unspoken meaning.
“I cared,” Azzi whispered, her voice barely audible, a rawness to it that Paige had never heard before. “I cared so much that it scared me. Scared me not knowing where you stood, not knowing if I even meant anything to you. And for everything I did... I’m so sorry. For leaving you when you needed me. For making you cry, for making those beautiful blue eyes of yours look so sad. I hate that I did that to you.”
She paused, her voice trembling slightly as the words continued to spill out. “I’m sorry for all the snide remarks, the times I pushed you away when you were reaching out, for making you feel like you didn’t matter, when you meant everything to me. I’m sorry for every moment I made you feel small, when you’re anything but that. I promise you I never wanted to hurt you, Paige. I just... I was scared. And in all my fear, I made it so you were the problem, when it was never you.”
Azzi took a deep breath before speaking again, her voice laced with regret as she finally began telling Paige what happened. “I got up before you. I was planning on getting breakfast for us because I knew you were going to have a hangover.” She paused, looking down at their interlaced fingers, before continuing. “But when I was getting the food, I ran into one of your hookups. The one we ran into that night we were going to eat and you told her I was your girlfriend. So I guess to antagonize me she said something that... that reminded me of how much you’ve slept around. It... it scared me, Paige. It made me think about what happened between us, and I didn’t know what that night meant to you, what I meant to you. I didn’t know if I was going to be just another one night stand.”
Paige tried to speak but Azzi continued, “I guess she saw my initial reaction and decided to keep going. She asked if you were still as aggressive as you used to be and started rambling about all the things you did to her. I just..I felt so inadequate, Paige. I’ve never done any of that. I didn’t even know how to respond.”
Paige froze, her stomach sinking at the words. “She did what?” she breathed, shocked.
Azzi’s voice was barely a whisper now, and she looked away. “She said it casually, as if it was no big deal. But it made me think, made me question everything. It reminded me of how much you’ve been... you know, sleeping around, and how experienced you are, and it just… kinda hit me. That I’ve never done anything like that and I’m probably a lot more inexperienced than the other girls you’ve been with.” Azzi continues kind of rambling now, “I started to wonder if it was even good for you. If I did anything wrong. You didn’t even try anything like that with me. I don’t even know if you’re into that kind of thing with me and it was just too much, so I had to take some time to think and when I came back and saw someone in the suite it just made all those feelings resurface.”
Paige’s heart clenched painfully as the weight of Azzi’s words sank in. She reached out and grabbed Azzi’s jaw gently, urging her to look at her. “Azzi, I swear to you, I never meant for you to feel like that,” she said, her voice trembling with sincerity. “I didn’t know she said that. I didn’t even know you were... Fuck I’m so so sorry Az, I didn’t ever want to make you feel that way.”
Azzi’s eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t pull away. “It hurt, Paige,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “It really hurt. And I came back I had everything ready but you were–”
Azzi stopped, biting her lip as if trying to keep herself from falling apart. Instead, she took a deep breath and stood up. “Wait here,” she said softly before disappearing into her room.
Paige blinked, confused and concerned at the abruptness, her heart racing as she sat there waiting. When Azzi returned a few moments later, she was holding a crumpled up airport paper, covered in messy scribbles and arrows.
Azzi handed it to Paige without a word, sitting back down as Paige unfolded it, her brows furrowing as she scanned the chaotic notes. “What...is this?”
“It’s a list,” Azzi said quietly. “I made it after… you know, that night. I was trying to calm myself down and prove that it wasn’t just some hookup for you, that it meant something more.”
Paige’s eyes darted over the napkin, trying to decipher the messy scrawl. Words and phrases jumped out at her. She kissed me, with an arrow towards for the second time in the corner of the napkin. Jealous at Ted’s but that one had a lot of question marks followed by she would’ve just told me which was crossed out with the words no she wouldn’t next to it. Other words Paige could clearly make out Teammates…felt too inanimate…the way she looked at me, which was underlined a few multiple times with the words think i’m delusional next to it.
As Paige continues trying to decipher the napkin, realization dawns on her face. Her fingers slightly tighten around the paper as her chest tightens with emotion. The arrows connecting some points and scribbled-out words showed how much thought Azzi had put into it, even in her uncertainty.
“I had everything figured out,” Azzi said, her voice trembling. “I was ready to show you, to make you understand even if you weren’t ready, that it couldn’t have been just casual for you. It had to be something deeper. But then I saw her in your bed, and it all fell apart. God, Paige, I felt so stupid. Like I’d made everything up in my head.”
Paige stared at the napkin, guilt and heartbreak washing over her in waves. “Azzi…”
Azzi shook her head, looking away. “I cared so much about sleeping with you it scared me, Paige. And when I saw her, I just… I couldn’t do it anymore.”
Paige’s eyes filled with tears as she placed the napkin on the table and cupped Azzi’s face gently, urging her to look at her. “Azzi, I swear to you, I never meant for you to feel like that,” she said her, her voice quiet but steady. “I didn’t even know she said that. I didn’t even know you were…I wasn’t that way with you because you’re so much more than that to me Az. I never wanted you to feel like you were just another hookup. I knew it was your first time with a girl, and I just wanted to take everything slow. I wanted you to feel safe, to feel like it was okay to just feel everything and just…just be. I was trying to show you how much I cared that night, and I thought maybe... maybe that was the way to make you understand. But it wasn’t. I see that now.”
Azzi’s face softened as she absorbed Paige’s words. The tension between them seemed to ease just a little, but there was still a quiet sorrow in her eyes. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a breath before speaking. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I never meant to make you feel alone, I know how hard that is for you. I was just so caught up in my own feelings, my own fear. I was so afraid of getting hurt that I couldn’t care about how anyone else felt.”
Paige reached out, cupping Azzi’s face gently in her hands again. She felt the weight of Azzi’s pain, the vulnerability in her touch, and it broke something inside her. “I understand,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I get it. I do. But you mean the world to me, Azzi. I never wanted to make you feel less than. I just wanted you to know how much I care, how much I need you.”
Azzi’s eyes fluttered open, locking with Paige’s, and she leaned into the touch, a tear slipping down her cheek. She didn’t say anything right away, just let the silence hang between them, the weight of everything they had just shared in the air. At that moment, words didn’t seem to matter as much as the quiet connection between them.
Paige pulled Azzi into a tight, much-needed hug. She buried her face in Azzi’s hair and whispered, “I’m so sorry Azzi.” Azzi squeezed her back, the tension in her body easing with every second. “I’m sorry too,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. The two of them sat in their embrace for a while, both of them making up for what they felt like was lost time.
Ice’s door creaked open hesitantly. She hadn’t heard voices for some time, so she peeked out to check on the situation. Her eyes landed on Paige and Azzi wrapped in each other’s arms, their tears visible even from where she stood. A grin tugged at her lips as she then leaned against the wall.
“Okay thank god you figured it out,” Ice teased, crossing her arms. “I was starting to think I’d have to find a lock for the pantry. It was hard being a child of a divorced home.”
Azzi laughed through her tears, her face still pressed to Paige’s shoulder. “Shut up, Ice,” she said, her voice thick but light with humor.
Paige chuckled softly, finally pulling back just enough to wipe at Azzi’s damp cheeks. The warmth in her gaze made Azzi’s heartache in the best way.
Ice smirked, watching them for a moment longer before retreating back into her room, muttering something about how they better keep it down if there’s any more funny business around this house. Paige and Azzi exchanged a watery laugh, the tension between them finally broken.
…
Later that night, after showering and getting into her pajamas, Paige sat on her bed, the controller in her hands as she settled into her game for the first time in a while. She hadn’t felt in the mood to play in weeks, but tonight was obviously different.
Azzi walked into the room quietly, dressed in her pajamas and a bonnet. She stood by the door for a moment, hesitant, taking in the space that felt unfamiliar in this new version of them, something a little more than a friendship but not a relationship. She hadn’t been in Paige’s room like this—so casually, so unburdened—since October…since they slept together. It felt like the distance between them had changed everything, and for a second, she wasn’t sure how to exist in here.
But then she heard Paige mutter something incoherent at the game, followed by an exaggerated shout of frustration when she was killed. Azzi’s lips curled into a smile at the familiar sound. That was more like the Paige she knew. It made Azzi relax a little.
Azzi made her way over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to Paige, her body a little stiff at first. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself, what was ok to do and what wasn’t. But then, as she watched Paige continue to play, she cracked a joke, letting it slip out without thinking.
“Have you always been this bad, or is tonight just special?” Azzi teased, her voice light with amusement.
Paige paused the game immediately, her brow furrowing as she turned to face Azzi, an exaggerated look of disbelief on her face. “Excuse me? What did you just say?”
Azzi shrugged nonchalantly, her eyes still on her phone, scrolling absentmindedly. “Eh, just stating the obvious.”
Paige crossed her arms, trying to hold back a grin. “I’m being disrespected in my own room, this is crazy.” She said, her voice a little dramatic, but the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her.
Azzi chuckled, and for a moment, the tension from the past few weeks seemed to slip away. The easy banter between them returned, small but meaningful, like they hadn’t spent any time apart. Paige rolled her eyes, but there was a warmth in her chest, the kind that came with knowing things were moving in the right direction.
Paige tilted her head, looking at Azzi. “You wanna play?”
Azzi looked up from her phone, her brow raising as if Paige had just asked her to solve all the world’s problems. “Me? Play? Are you crazy?” She shook her head. “I’ve never played before. And I’ve heard you, KK, and Ice yelling a little too much to know better.”
Paige shrugged, unfazed. “No big deal. You’ll like it.” She said as she tried to hand Azzi the controller.
Azzi hesitated, giving the controller a wary glance before reluctantly taking it. The second she started playing, Paige immediately realized how bad things were going to be. Within seconds, Azzi’s character on the screen was walking off of the building Paige had built, spinning in circles, and doing everything but what she was supposed to be doing.
“Azzi what the hell!” Paige burst out laughing as she watched the chaos unfold. “What are you even doing?!”
“I don’t know!” Azzi cried out, frantically mashing random buttons as her character continued to flail in every direction, shooting randomly here and there. She pushed Paige’s shoulder with a playful shove. “Shut up and help me!”
Paige tried to compose herself, still grinning as she pointed at the screen. “Okay, okay, see this button? That’s to move. And that one? That’s to aim. You’re just—” She dissolved into laughter again as Azzi’s character jumped straight towards someone shooting at her and immediately died.
Azzi groaned, pouting as she turned to Paige with a frown. “This isn’t funny! You’re supposed to be helping, not laughing at me.”
“I am helping!” Paige insisted through her giggles, her cheeks aching from how hard she was laughing. She reached over, guiding Azzi’s hands on the controller. “Look, just press this one and— no not that one!”
Azzi let out an exaggerated huff, dropping the controller onto her lap. “This is impossible. You’re a terrible teacher.”
“You’re just a terrible student,” Paige shot back, her grin widening.
At this, Azzi pouted harder, her lips pushing out in exaggerated frustration. Paige couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head. “Alright, alright, come here,” she said, scooting back on the bed to make room.
Azzi gave her a skeptical look but didn’t argue, sliding into the spot Paige had just been sitting in, directly in front of the TV. Paige scooted up behind her, settling comfortably as she wrapped her arms around Azzi to guide her hands on the controller.
Azzi stiffened at first, her body going rigid against Paige’s. Paige noticed immediately, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “Relax, Az,” she said, her voice gentle, her breath warm against Azzi’s ear. “I’m not gonna bite, Just teaching you how to play the game I swear.”
Azzi huffed a small laugh, the tension easing out of her shoulders as she leaned back into Paige. “You better not,” she murmured, her tone lighter.
As Azzi settled into Paige’s hold, she tilted her head slightly, her gaze lingering on Paige’s face, which was now resting on her shoulder. Paige smirked, not even looking away from the TV. “Stop staring and focus on the game, Azzi.”
“I’m not staring,” Azzi muttered, rolling her eyes, though her cheeks warmed slightly.
“Sure you’re not,” Paige teased, her tone dripping with amusement. “This is why you’re so bad at the game—you’re too distracted by me so you aren’t listening to instructions”
Azzi scoffed. “Please, I’d be amazing if you weren’t breathing down my neck every two seconds.”
Paige chuckled, her voice low and playful. “You like it, don’t lie.”
Azzi tried to keep a straight face, but the corners of her lips twitched as she turned her attention back to the screen. “Whatever. Just show me which button I’m supposed to press.”
“Alright, I got this,” Paige said, her fingers wrapping around Azzi’s to guide her movements. As they moved, Paige’s fingers brushed over Azzi’s, each shift in position almost feeling intentional, like she was trying to distract her more than help with the game. “See? You press this one to jump. No, not that one—this one,” Paige corrected, her hand pressing lightly on Azzi’s, guiding her thumb to the correct button.
Azzi shot Paige a playful glare, her lips curling into a smile despite herself. “Are you just playing for me now?”
Paige didn’t even try to hide her grin. “You’re a terrible student, Azzi. What do you expect?” Her voice was teasing, but there was a warmth beneath it, the closeness between them now undeniable. She adjusted her grip on Azzi’s hands, their fingers interlacing as she continued to control the game for both of them.
Azzi couldn’t help but laugh at how effortlessly Paige took over. “You’re not even letting me play at this point. What’s the point of me being here?”
Paige’s fingers tightened around Azzi’s making sure she didn’t go anywhere, guiding them both. “You’re here to keep me entertained,” she teased.
Azzi rolled her eyes, trying to focus on the screen, but her attention kept drifting to the feel of Paige’s hand in hers, the pressure of her touch. “I think you just like controlling things,” Azzi said, her voice softer now, with a hint of something more teasing underneath.
Paige smirked, her grip remaining firm as she helped Azzi push through the game. “You know I love being in control.”
Azzi shifted, feeling the warmth of Paige’s chest against her back as she continued to play. “You’re really trying to get me flustered, huh?” Azzi teased, though the playful tone didn’t quite match the fluttering feeling in her stomach.
Paige’s chuckle was low and soft, her lips brushing against the side of Azzi’s neck as she continued guiding her hands. “If you’re flustered, then I’m doing something right.” She let out a light laugh when Azzi flinched slightly at the touch. “But you need to focus, Az. We’re trying to win here.”
Azzi, still caught in the tangle of their touch and the warmth of Paige’s breath, let out a small, involuntary laugh. “I’m trying, but it’s hard when you’re distracting me like this.”
Paige leaned in, her lips grazing Azzi’s ear as she whispered, “Then I guess you’ll just have to try harder, huh?”
As Azzi’s thumb pressed the button under Paige’s guidance, she couldn’t ignore the way her pulse quickened under Paige’s touch. “You’re insane,” Azzi muttered, but she didn’t pull away.
Paige’s smile deepened, the playful glint in her eyes never fading as she held Azzi’s hands in hers. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Azzi smirked, her voice light and teasing as she turned her head just enough for their faces to be dangerously close. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” she replied, her tone playful but with a hint of challenge. Her eyes locked with Paige’s, a subtle heat building between them. “But you’re starting a game that I was always better than you at,” she added, her words dripping with teasing confidence as she leaned just a little closer, her breath brushing against Paige’s skin.
Azzi’s smirk only deepened as she leaned back slightly, tilting her head just enough to make their lips almost touch. The tension in the air shifted, both of them clearly forgetting the game in favor of something else. Her voice dropped to a near whisper, sending a shiver down Paige’s spine. “I miss you, P. I’ve been replaying it in my head for weeks,” Azzi murmured, her fingers gently tracing over Paige’s fingers, the motion intentional and carrying an unmistakable double meaning.
Paige swallowed hard, her breath catching as Azzi’s words lingered in the space between them. Her heart raced, but she quickly detached herself from Azzi, leaning back and breaking the moment with a forced, lighthearted laugh. “Alright, I need to get away from Casanova here before I forget how to function,” Paige joked, trying to ease the tension as she put some space between them, though her smile betrayed her, a mix of amusement and something deeper still lingering in her eyes.
Azzi let out a soft sigh and rolled her eyes, clearly amused by Paige’s attempt to lighten the mood. Without saying another word, she grabbed her book from the bedside table and settled comfortably into Paige’s bed, leaning back against the pillows as she opened it to the page she had left off on.
Paige glanced over at her, a smile tugging at her lips as she started the game again, the sound of the controller clicking in the quiet room. Every now and then, she’d catch a glimpse of Azzi’s relaxed posture, her head slightly tilted down as she read, and the small sense of comfort that filled the space between them was nice to have again.
After a while, because Paige really was rusty, she finally won a round of Fortnite, she threw the controller onto the bed with a triumphant “Victory!” She turned around, expecting to see Azzi’s usual playful smirk, but instead, Azzi was fast asleep, her body sprawled across the bed. The sight of her like this—calm, peaceful, unguarded—struck something in Paige. She hadn’t seen Azzi like this in a while, and it warmed her more than she expected.
Paige smiled softly to herself, a little bittersweet. After turning everything off she carefully climbed into bed, trying not to wake Azzi, but the moment she settled in, Azzi instinctively shifted closer, snuggling into her side like it was the most natural thing in the world. Paige smiled again, a real, gentle smile, her heart fluttering at the simple act of them being close again.
The room was quiet for a while, save for the soft, rhythmic sound of Azzi’s breathing. Paige felt herself drifting to sleep for the first time in a while, feeling the weight of everything they’d been through slowly melting away, replaced by the comfortable warmth of having Azzi beside her again. Just as she was about to fall asleep, Azzi’s soft voice broke the silence.
“Thank you for the necklace,” Azzi whispered, her voice barely audible. Paige’s chest tightened at the sincerity behind the words.
Paige smiled, her eyes still closed, and whispered back, her voice soft with affection. “You’re welcome.”
A small moment of silence passed between them as they both settled into the shared space of the bed. They weren’t together—not yet—but there was a quiet understanding between them. They weren’t rushing anything. They would work on it slowly but surely until they were ready. It felt like progress, even without words.
Just as they settled into a peaceful sleep, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hall. Ice, who had been passing by, peeked in and caught a glimpse of the two of them. She paused for a moment, watching as Paige and Azzi snuggled so naturally together. She smiled to herself, happy for them, before snapping a quick picture, closing the door and walking down the hallway to send the picture in the groupchat.
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Hi i love your work! I was wondering if u could do a fic where tangerine x reader are running from enemies on a job and they end up making out to try and hide from the enemies because pda makes people uncomfortable? Like the comment black widow makes to steve rogers in the winter soldier before she kisses him?
im backkk! so sorry for the massive delay, i love this request. it may be a little rusty so i apologize now.
pda || tangerine
tangerine x reader
warnings: brief talks of shooting and guns
word count: 1.2k+
masterlist
"you're a fuckin' idiot, tan," you snapped in defeat, looking at the man who appeared clueless about the situation.
he tsked and continued to move deeper into the building, "there's nothing to worry about. alarm gets tripped so what? we got a few minutes before anyone shows up."
with slow footsteps you followed behind him. irate was the only word to describe your mood. you mimicked him behind his head, arms up in the air, your gun flailing around dangerously in your right hand as you muttered in a whiny baby voice, 'we got a few minutes'.
tangerine and stubbornness go hand in hand, you can't have one without the other. his attitude made missions sometimes far easier when there were issues with other individuals or, in this case, far more difficult. instead of waiting an extra five minutes for the incoming call from lemon providing tangerine with the keycode, tangerine took it upon himself to smash the keypad. of course, an orchestra of alarms rang out and bounced off the walls of the building in an almost deafening manner. but rest assured, there was no one in the building...according to tangerine.
"c'mon we need to hurry up," you said, now walking in stride with him, "second-floor unit 204."
it was a file the two of you were after. information was scarce to get. a mission would come through, assigned off to you, and that was the extent of knowledge you had. as far as you and tangerine knew, your boss wanted the list of names encrypted on the file. what you didn't know was that the building was teeming with employees ready to defend the file.
there was a loud boom followed by an eerie silence. immediately you and tangerine halted, his hand coming to hover in front of your body preventing you from moving. tangerine's eyebrows were pulled into a deep furrow attempting to use some sort of instinct to decipher where the noise was coming from. he caught your eye before following your pointed fingers that were angled above and to the left. just as he pivoted his head, a symphony of gunshots rang.
"move!" he demanded, gripping your jacket and shoving you behind a structural pillar.
the whizzing of the bullets sounded as if you were surrounded by a swarm of bees. you were silently cursing at tangerine for his rash decisions earlier. you watched as tangerine shot five men in succession.
"oh but we had time, right?" you barked, aiming your sights on seemingly the last gentleman. with a squeeze of the trigger, the bullet went flying, piercing the man on the side of his neck.
tangerine sprinted from his position, "let's go," he directed, grabbing onto your wrist.
"god-," you panted, "i hate working with you sometimes."
"oh shut up," he huffed as your legs pounded against the waxed tiles, your wrist still bouncing in his grasp.
just as the two of you were about to push open the front doors, a bullet shattered the glass causing the two of you to stumble. daring to peer behind you, you were met with about four men charging forward.
"shit, c'mon," tangerine rushed.
tangerine guided you around the corner of the building, sprinting into a busier part of town. there was no chance of losing the men and although the distance between grew wide, you could still hear the pounding of the footsteps. with you in tow, tangerine darted into a convenience store. through short breaths, you could hear tangerine muttering how there is a back exit. you took the opportunity to shrug off your jacket and toss it down one of the aisles in a measly attempt to disguise yourself. without warning you gripped tangerine's button down and popped the first three buttons open. he sent you a look of disgust.
"can you try disguising yourself?" the annoyance in your tone evident. without a word, tangerine huffed as he discarded his perfectly tailored jacket and vest by shoving it into a man's arms.
you and tangerine decided to cut into a park. it was risky doing so. the park only had one real entrance and exit and there wasn't much to hide behind. tangerine figured it was the best option instead of walking the busy streets and putting innocent lives in danger. so, the two of you darted through the gate but not before one last look at the unwelcomed guests trailing behind. thankfully, there was enough distance that the man leading the pack didn't notice the small detour you two took.
"what the fuck!" you groaned quietly after a few minutes of heaving breaths and pebbles scattering beneath your feet. you noticed one of the men walking slowly through the park's weaving pathways.
tangerine ran a hand through his hair, "we got nowhere to go."
you felt your palms getting sweaty as you tried raking your brain of what to do. tangerine looked just as clueless as you. the park had one entrance and the two of you were trapped in the corner.
"kiss me."
"what?" tangerine asked incredulously.
"pda, it uh-" you stammered, "it makes people uncomfortable."
a nervous chuckle escaped his lips but you couldn't miss the way his tongue poked out between his lips, "i'm not-"
before your mind could process your movements you were shoving tangerine by the shoulders and forcing him to sit down on the park bench. as if it was the most natural action in the world, you placed your knees on either side of his legs and sat on his thighs. leaning down you pressed your lips against his. your hands trailed up the back of his neck and into his now loose curls. you noted how tangerine didn't seem to move at first until it was like he suddenly came to life and his hands gripped at your hips.
tangerine's mind was spinning. he'd never dare to admit but he dreamed of this. the way your lips slotted perfectly into his, the feeling of your heart thumping against his chest, your nails gently gliding against his scalp, the feeling of your weight on him.
the kiss was gentle yet desperate. a kiss so perfect that you only read about it in romance novels. too perfect that you didn't even hear the suited man wielding a gun mutter how disgusting people are these days. his grimacing face going unnoticed as your lips molded to tangerine's. the echo of his footsteps receding faded into the night.
your lungs burned for air but you couldn't bring yourself to pull away. tangerine's cologne clouded your senses with a perfect mixture of cedarwood and green mandarin. his facial hair tickled at your face. you could feel tangerine's thigh flex with the movement of your body. his hands cradled your frame, your shirt slightly bunched in between his fingers. it pained you to pull away but you lost the ability to breathe.
your eyes fluttered in a sense of disbelief but also awe as tangerine's eyes bounced around your face. he noted the way your chest rapidly rose and fell, but for him, his breathing paused. he took in the way your lips were slightly swollen and glistening, the vanilla lip balm you applied earlier now transferred to his lips. your shirt now lopsided on your shoulders from him gripping your sides. though only one lamp lit the bench the two of you were perched on, tangerine could still see the pink flush dancing across your cheeks. gently, he raised his hand and brushed his thumb across your bottom lip, already missing the kiss.
if pda made people uncomfortable, tangerine wanted the whole world to feel unsettled.
#tangerine#tangerine bullet train#tangerine x reader#tangerine x y/n#tangerine x oc#tangerine x you#tangerine imagine#tangerine imagines#tangerine bullet train imagine#tangerine fic#tangerine fanfic#tangerine fanfiction#tangerine bullet train fanfic#tangerine fluff#tangerine angst#tangerine blurb#tangerine headcannon#tangerine oneshot#bullet train imagine#bullet train fanfic#bullet train oneshot#bullet train x reader#bullet train#aaron taylor johnson imagine#aaron taylor johnson x reader#tangerine headcanon#sebsbarnes
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WereGhost part 4
writing is under the cut as usual <3 couldn't force the art out, for some reason my brain won't let art on my phone happen, I've been trying for days it just ain't workin, and I have gifts to finish working on so PC is a no-go. Still! Writing!!
I do oddly feel more confident about posting things if there's art with it? Like I faked myself out trying to post this one 3 times and kept adding more thanks to that because I was like "wait no not good :("
Maybe because art's like. My thing. But screw it, if I'm getting over my anxiety I'm hitting all the weird triggers, it's a silly werewolf AU I don't think people care if one part has art or not
Simon doesn't like how Johnny smells. He was fine before, but since that morning the older man left with him in such a hurry he's smelled different. To a normal person that wouldn't matter, but werewolves aren't exactly normal folk, and smell is a very important part of their routine, Simon's especially.
Simon was familiar with Johnny's scent before- warm and herbal, a comfortable smell that Simon wasn't afraid to admit was soothing. It's probably part of why he's stuck around. Since he got back, since the anxiety and stress faded out, he's smelled different. It changed. It was faint, but there- something odd and flowery. Simon knew he didn't like it, but he wasn't entirely sure why. Maybe it's the fact it changed at all, maybe it's what it might signals, to hell if Simon knows.
Johnny, from there, starts going out more often, for longer, starting at earlier times, and the scent only gets stronger. It mixes with his original one, shifting and changing, and Simon hates it.
He especially hates it when Johnny comes home in the middle of the day, just once, and immediately gets to shoving Simon under the bed, blankets and all, muttering out something about not being prepared and needing Simon to sit still and be quiet for a while- Simon growls and snaps at his feet, though his teeth never connect, but begrudgingly does as told, ignoring the way his heart thuds in his chest and ears flatten to his skull. After a bit, cleaning up and trying to make the place look nice, it seems, sweeping fur off of the bed and floor, Johnny leaves, and Simon is left alone, confused and quite frankly tired, watching the door shut from the little space under the blanket hanging off the bed.
By the time a few minutes pass, he hears the front door open, and another voice starts up. It's not the older man, it's not Johnny, it's new and unfamiliar, soft and feminine, and Simon can feel the fur on his neck raise at the sound. Oddly, he feels threatened. He doesn't like the new voice, doesn't like the scent that follows, doesn't like how it's the scent that's been drowning out Johnny's for weeks now. But he sits there, tense and uncomfortable, listening to them talk in the sitting room. He doesn't like it, but he does it, if only so Johnny doesn't change his mind about all of this and kick Simon out after all.
It lasts for a few hours, Simon unable to fall back asleep, until he hears the door open and shut again. He thinks Johnny might have left too, but no- footsteps come up to the door, and he steps inside the bedroom, crouching down with a sigh.
"Think she likes me, Ghost. Might be the one, aye? Just have to see what to do about you, then..."
His heart sinks at the words, but doesn't reply- just growls lowly and shifts his weight, curling up further to avoid looking at the man.
"Aye, I know. Yer feelin' grumpy. Sorry."
Johnny tries to drag him out from under the bed, gripping the blankets tight, but Simon fights, of course. He can't go one day without being stubborn, especially not when he feels so personally wronged.
"Jesus, fine. Stay under there. Don't make a mess."
It continued on like that for a few days. Long, uncomfortable, grueling days, where Simon slowly began to set up a little den under the bed. It was nice and dark, so at that point it was really just instinct drawing him into it, pushing and arranging the blankets into a cozy little spot for himself. Eventually he manages to fall asleep even when Johnny has his bird over, as much as he might not like it- Johnny slides a plate of food under the bed to try and keep him from getting snappy, not that it ever works, and it becomes another routine.
Simon as tired of it the moment it began, but he tolerates it anyways, just to avoid being thrown out. His leg's mostly healed, and he knows he needs to leave, get out into the forest again, get back to his normal life.
But he doesn't want to.
He gets cooked food, he gets the warmth and comfort of soft blankets that smell pleasant- they're the only thing that don't have that new scent on them, at this point- he gets to sleep in peace without having to worry about wolfhounds scenting him out or humans coming across him, doesn't have to worry about any other predators trying to get a meal out of him, there's no hiding, there's no running, no wasted energy... but he can tell Johnny knows he's healing. He leaves the bandages on longer and comments on the progress he's made, and at this point Simon knows that if he doesn't leave on his own Johnny might just toss him out anyways.
The thought makes him uncomfortably bitter, a sour feeling that wells up in his chest and leaves him feeling nothing short of sick.
He tolerates it all for a few more days, making the most of it, and then watches intently as Johnny leaves, one morning slipping out from under the bed to watch him from the doorway as he leaves, locking the front door behind him. He loafs around for an hour or so, then shifts, standing on unsteady legs and adjusting to the feeling of being human for a bit- as close as he can get, anyways. Simon finds himself staring at a window for a long while, facing the woods.
With a sigh, he steps closer and pushes it open, and crawls out, shutting the window behind him and shifting back so he can break off into a run. He regrets it the moment he's outside, the air frigid and uncomfortable against his fur, feeling like needles against his skin, but he doesn't have much of a choice at this point. He does it himself or Johnny will do it for him, maybe throw him outside in his sleep or something. He's careful not to leave any prints, stepping lightly and never lingering in one spot too long. The beartrap that got him into this mess serves as a marker, telling him where to go, and from there it's just a matter of following old paths, and by the time night starts to fall he's found it again. His scent has faded from months of inactivity, but it's his territory all the same.
Suddenly it doesn't feel like home at all, but he reasons that it won't be come a few weeks, anyways, when the wolfhunts start again the second the town's dogs start to catch his scent, and he'll have to leave all over again. He curls up in a familiar hollow, surrounded on all sides but one so he can't be reached or found quite as easily, and falls asleep with the lingering thoughts of fleeting warmth and soft fabrics on his mind.
#WereGhost#Werewolf Ghost AU#Werewolf Ghost#cod mwii#cod#call of duty#call of duty mwii#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#werewolf au#werewolf#no art for this one#Writing#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#modern warefare ii#AU
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Bones - Part 10 [Mack x David]
A/N: This wedding is so perfectly Mack and David. The location, the people, THE VOWS, the party, the softness. But mostly in the way they turn into each other during the quiet or big moments. UGH! I always love an AU wedding chapter. & this one has found it's way to the top!
Word Count: 4.4k
Warnings: There is a brief moment of mature content in here. Because it isn't super flushed out, I'm not putting the sticker on. But if ANY mentions of sex make you uncomfy, don't continue below.
In the center of the room, a big ceiling fan swirls lazily overhead trying to move the thick, Caribbean air in the bridal room. Beneath the fan sits Mack’s bridesmaids- Lucie, Sophie, and Livy- along with her auntie Emma, her mom, Lexi, and Savannah, her cousin’s fiancé. The group of girls gabs excitedly as the finishing touches of powder are dotted on Mack’s forehead and under eyes.
“Okay, just sit there. Let’s see how that holds up.” The make up artist murmurs.
Mack is the last one to be ready because her hair took so long to curl. Plus her make up has tried to melt off her face with each layer. Things she forgot to consider when choosing their wedding venue. Overall, nothing about getting ready is going well, including the underwhelmed feeling she had when her dress came out of the garment bag. It’s fine. Just fine. Not anything like what the perfect man down the hall deserves.
Mack looks down at her folded hands and the diamonds of her engagement ring. Soon a simple platinum band will rest next to it with her and David’s initials. Is that enough too? Overwhelmed tears begin to blur her fingers together. Ugh, great. If she cries it’s going to be another set back. She swallows hard, willing the tears to cease. A glance over her shoulder reveals the group of girls sipping mimosas and laughing. Her eyes connect with her older sister. Lucie’s smile slowly fades and she cocks her head to the side as if to ask “are you good?”
Mack slaps a smile on her face, nodding.
“Am I done?” The bride asks the make up artist. After a through examination of her face, she nods.
“Do you want me to touch anything up?” She holds a mirror up. Despite the struggles, Mack’s make up is flawless. Natural with mauve pinks and a burgundy eye crease.
“No. I love it. Thank you.”
Mack stands, then goes to her mom to ask for help with her dress. The room quiets down and everyone watches as Mack gets into her gown. The photographer clicks as Lexi zips her daughter’s dress to the top. Lexi adjusts the straps to lay flat on Mack’s shoulders then looks at her in the massive, full length mirror in front of them.
“You are so beautiful.”
“Davey is so lucky!” Lucie murmurs, getting up and squeezing her little sister. Sophie bounces up too and soon everyone is hugging Mack, making the room feel smaller than it did before.
“Okay.” Mack mutters uncomfortably.
“We love you, Mackie!” Liv squeals. “Do you want some champagne?”
“Sure.” Mack agrees. Maybe some alcohol will make her feel better, or take the edge off.
Instead, the second the alcohol hits her stomach, Mack feels like she is going to barf. Suddenly, the room is too loud- ears feeling like they’re being pierced internally at the laughter and joy. Her body starts to feel incredibly heavy, throat tightening until she can barely swallow.
“Um, can everyone just get out?” Mack blurts over the noise. Once the words are out, she realizes she yelled. All the women in the room stare at her. “Sorry… I need a minute.” She whispers, turning her back on the group.
“Yep.” Lucie immediately answers. “Everyone scoot.”
All the girls in the room follow the Hischier girls’ commands. Lucie is the last one out. Mack looks over her shoulder at her.
“Can you get him?” Mack asks her older sister pleadingly.
“Yes.” Lucie agrees.
When the door shuts, Mack tries to breathe but it’s like she can only pull in a third of the oxygen she needs to get through this panic attack. Her nerves have nothing to do with David. She wishes they had eloped to some mountain top or were here by themselves. She feels on display for everyone else's enjoyment and she is not having fun. This is supposed to be fun!? Instead her skin prickles from anxiety, sweat is building already in her hairline and it’s so damn humid her thighs are slick where they rub together. What was she thinking with this silk dress choice?
Mack wants to sit down, but if she does, her dress will be wrinkled the rest of the day. She wants elegant pictures of her and her dad walking down the aisle. A big crease under her hips on either side is not the aesthetic. Instead, she walks over to the various drink choices, carefully pouring herself a glass of ice water. She swallows down a few sips, then blots her lips to preserve her lip stain.
“Mack?” She hears David call from the door.
“Come in!”
“Am I looking or no?”
“I don’t care.” She blurts.
The door cracks open and her big, gorgeous man steps through. The door clicks shut behind him and he stares at her from across the room without a word. His green eyes roam over her. Mack can feel them everywhere, but he doesn't say anything. She looks down at herself then back at him.
“Are you disappointed?”
“Am I… What??” He asks incredulously. His mouth drops slightly open and his eyes rapidly search hers. “Oof, you’re nervous, honey, huh?”
“Yeah. I kinda wanna throw up all over this dress because I hate it now and I loved it before but it’s so hot. I’m so hot, David. I can’t think straight. I’m so out of my element with everyone waiting hand and foot on me. You’re not here with me and I don’t like it.” David chuckles as he walks over to her. HIs hands collect her hips, rubbing circles into the soft fabric.
“First of all, the dress is a ten and you’re a fucking 20. Holy shit. You look… stunning. Like what the hell are you doing marrying me?” A relieved exhale rushes from her lips.
“Stop.” Mack’s shoulders drop about three inches, back to their normal resting position. He instantly knows how to put her at ease. She laughs, holding his chest as he steps forward to nuzzle her face with his.
“I’m serious. Holy smokes. We better get the officiant in here right now before you change your mind.”
“I’m not changing my mind. I just really need a hug from you.”
“Then come here.” He opens his arms for her. Mack drops into his body, soaking up his sweet, happy energy that she has come to crave. Where she is a thunderstorm, he’s the sunshine after the rain. She puts her hand on his chest over his heart, then rests her cheek there to be careful of his white shirt. “Don’t worry about it.” He tells her, peeling her hand away so she can lean fully against him. “I’ve got another one if we need it. My wife is always prepared.”
“I was worried they were going to lose our luggage.” She insists.
“Honey, you have been too worried. I think that’s the problem here. All that’s happening is we are saying some words to each other, putting rings on and smooching.”
“With an audience.”
“With thirty people who love us. And are so thrilled to be here to celebrate.”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “You’re right.” She takes in a big inhale, but she is still rigid in his arms. David holds her, gently trailing his fingers over her back. He presses sweet smooches into her curled, brown hair.
“I wanna show you something.” David murmurs, rubbing her back once more before dropping his hands from her. Mack steps back, watching as his fingers go to the buttons on his dress shirt.
“A pre-vow strip tease?” She quirks, wanting to make him laugh too.
“You wish, eh?” He winks, working his way down to the last few buttons. He undoes the buttons on his cuff too. His shirt slips away and Mack sees what he has been hiding for the last week.
“Wha… wow.” She quietly exclaims. Her fingers come up and she runs them around the district, black skeletal hands. Their two hands linked together, thumbs closing together in a heart, with the words “In this life and the next” woven around a banner combining their wrists. Underneath the words is their wedding date in roman numerals. A dark wedding ring sit slumped on the bones at an angle, meant to be hers. “Good thing I didn’t run, huh?” She jokes, then drops her face as she starts to cry. Her head hits his bare chest and he wraps his arms around her again. Mack glides her hand around his bicep, covering the raised ink of his fresh tattoo.
“Been saving that spot for the love of my life.” Mack kisses his chest, following a trail up to the hallow of his throat. “I love you, Mackenzie Hischier. And today is the best day of my life.”
“Mine too.” She grins then kisses him like he deserves after all the ways he made her feel loved since walking through that door.
Her butterflies are gone. The uneasiness has disappeared from her stomach. Mack is once again grounded in importance and her safe space. Gone is all the worries about little things they won’t remember in 50 years when they’re still married.
All that is left is him.
“I’m feeling better.” She says. “Thank you.” Mack reaches around to grab the sleeve of his dress shirt. She helps him slide back into it then re-buttons him up except for the top two buttons. “I wanna see some of you when I walk down the aisle.”
“You’ll be seeing a lot of me right after I get to kiss ya.” He chuckles. “Be ready to go.”
“I’m ready.” She murmurs, grabbing his hand and putting it under her dress. She’s bare. His nostrils flare.
“Baby… I wish you wouldn’t have…” He sighs. “Actually I don’t. That’s so fucking hot knowing I’m gonna marry you this way. Don’t change a damn thing, okay?”
“Promise.” She murmurs. “Kiss me again. Then go back to whatever boys do before they get married.”
“Lio wants to do shots.”
“I will kill him.” Mack rears back. “Tell him I said that.”
“I’m kidding.” David laughs, then kisses her like she requested. “Mmm, I love you.”
“I love you.” She repeats. After another grab of her bare ass, he leaves the room, confident and secure with each heavy step he takes. Before he shuts the door, he winks at her.
Mack breathes out the breath she feels like she has been holding all day. She smoothes her skirt down. Her eyes go to the stunning turquoise water for a moment, then she goes to invite everyone back into the room.
It isn’t long before the ceremony music floats down to the bridal suite. All the girls leave again and Nico Hischier is invited in to see his beautiful daughter.
“Sweets, you are exquisite.” He murmurs, reaching a hand out for her. He squeezes her fingers together, then pulls her in for a hug.
“Probably never saw this day coming, huh?” Mack laughs as they step out of the suite together. Her arm threads easily through his right one. Her other arm carries her bouquet of light pink roses.
“Before David, yeah I thought that.” Nico admits.
“I think you knew he was the one before me.” Mack murmurs, adjusting the collar of his shirt as they pause before the walkway leading to the overlook where her and David will exchange their vows.
“No. You knew before me, You were just pretending you didn’t. But he was it.” Mack bites her bottom lip, then looks up at him with identical, teary brown eyes. It’s hard to imagine them standing here for this moment without Nico’s advice in Switzerland when Mack ran home.
“He’s the best, isn’t he?” They both laugh as Nico simply nods in agreement.
Yeah, David Carlson is better than anything Nico could have dreamed for his daughter.
Soft cords of Can’t Help Falling In Love begin to play. Nico looks over at Mack who nods that she is ready. So, so ready. Mack and Nico step through the door. Everyone turns to them, but Mack doesn’t even notice. She can’t take her eyes off the man who waits at the end of the aisle. He grins at her- a mega watt smile that could power the island for the night. Tears instantly sting Mack’s eyes. She laughs incredulously, like how is this perfect moment hers? What did she do to deserve this? And can she go back and do it again?
Then, she steps forward with her dad for their most important walk. Two strides in, Mack makes the mistake of looking at her dad who has tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Wow, dad, you could have tried a little harder to keep it together.”
“I should be better at this.” He acknowledges which makes Mack laugh. The motion blinks her tears down her cheeks and she sniffs.
The walk is fast. Guests will joke for years to come that Mack pulled Nico the whole way down. But who could blame her when David looks like that waiting for her. In front of her, Mack swoons at the misty glow of David’s green eyes. He isn’t crying, but his emotional smile has her heart glowing in her chest. He reaches his hand out for Nico to shake. They do so then hug tightly. Nico looks back over at his daughter. She tilts her head and tries to keep it together as she hugs him. Then he puts her hand into David’s.
“I’m not giving her away. She’s doing that herself.” Nico states to both of them. “Exactly like I would expect Mackie to.” David and Mack laugh. Yeah, that absolutely tracks for the independent, free woman she is.
“Her choice.” David nods. Nico steps away after stating he loves them both.
As he leads her up to the flowered arch, David checks in.
“You okay, honey?” Mack nods as she turns to face him.
He collects both of her hands in his own, holding them securely in place even though they shake a bit in his grasp. Behind David, Connor, Cody and Trevor stand tall, hands clasped together in front of them. Connor winks at her; Mack scrunches her nose at him then looks away before he makes her laugh. In the front row, her parents sit next to Felix and his wife, Lorena. Felix hasn’t left the U.S. in all the years David has known him. It’s huge that they are here. Today, they sit in a row with two empty seats, honoring the two people David would do anything to have here with them.
The ceremony begins with an acknowledgement to that. A brief moment of pause for reflection and recognition of the great losses of David’s life. He remains stoic and reserved during the moment. When it’s over, he squeezes her hands and smiles. He wanted to do that, but he was unsure about it too. He didn’t want to start their marriage feeling sad at what he lost when he is gaining an entire family.
Mack and David didn’t want much fan fair in their ceremony, but they knew for sure they wanted to write vows for each other. Mack goes first. She takes in a deep breath, then looks up at him with a smirk.
“For the record, you should know I still hate you.” Everyone laughs. David nods his head, grin stretching his cheeks so wide it looks like it hurts.
“Fair.”
Mack chuckles, then continues.
“I hate how easy you make it to love you. I hate how perfect you are. I hate how much my family is obsessed with you. I hate how you brought me to Iowa and somehow made me love living on a farm? I hate how you know exactly what I am feeling when I wanna hide it all from you. But if you didn’t know, we probably wouldn’t be here.” Mack pauses there. She swallows then takes in another breath.
”You are everything I’ve ever needed. Everything I never wanted to have. But mostly because I never thought I would find something like this. I’ve been called complicated or difficult or aloof my entire life, but you’ve never made me feel that way. You've taken me exactly as I am, flaws and all, and have loved me hard, especially on the days when I didn’t want you to, then extra hard on the days I didn’t deserve it.”
David frowns at that, not liking the putdown on herself, exactly like she thought.
“Because in your eyes, I’m perfect. Nothing to fix, nothing to change. Only different parts that make me more loveable. I see myself that way now. Your love has healed parts of me I thought would never be whole.”
Now he smiles again.
“I’ve been all over the world to tell stories. I’ve seen love in just about any place on this planet that it can exist. Sometimes it’s self-less, sometimes its hard decisions, sometimes it’s too painful to put into words, but it is always present. It used to make me ache to write these love stories out. But now I see us in every one of them. In the way love sacrifices. In the way it never fully goes away, no matter the distance. And especially in the way it forgives, vowing to be better every day.”
“So that’s my vow to you. To be self-less. To sacrifice for us. To love you in the moments you really need it, but also on the mundane Tuesday mornings. And to never stop leaning into us. So we grow and get better every day.”
“I can’t wait to ride this life out to the finish line with you. I’m so excited for this next chapter for us. I love you. Now and in the next lifetime.” She grabs his bicep where she now knows their tattoo sits, then lets her hand fall back to lace with his fingers.
David stares at her in awe for several seconds. Then he sighs happily as the officiant hands him is vows.
“I love you, baby.” He murmurs only to her. “Thank you for that.”
Mack squeezes his hand then does her best to prepare for what he wants to say to her.
“I have to say writing vows for a writer is really hard and I almost paid Livy to do it for me.” Again, everyone laughs. “Um, but the reality is that I love you so much, it’s difficult to put words together to describe it, honey. I kept telling myself when I was struggling with this that one day, 10, 20, 30 years from now, I’ll have found the words for you, but I don’t know. Because I find something new to love about you every day. If I’ve got 30 years of that, it’ll take another 30 just for me to get it all out to ya.”
"But that’s my favorite part of all this, how much time we have together. How many more memories we get to make, me and you, that will fill a lifetime of love and joy for each other.” He starts shaking his head. “And I know, that still won’t be enough for me. Instead, I’ll have to find you in the next life, honey. And I’ll love you all over again for the rest of that one too.” Mack whimpers as he folds the paper up. Short, but extraordinary as is David's way.
“I hate how good you are at writing vows even when you think you suck.” She slaps his jacket with her vows. She gestures to him at their wedding guests who clap and laugh loudly. “What the hell…” She mutters just to him.
“You make me better.” He says simply.
That one sentence could have been both of their vows.
During the rest of the ceremony, David is holding her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. He squeezes her fingers every so often, then kisses her rings as he slips her band on her finger. They may be getting married in front of other people, but truly Mack feels like they are the only ones here.
When the rings are secured, David pulls Mack close.
“We’re done, yeah?” David asks the officiant, not looking away from his new wife.
“Sure.” The officiant nods. “Go ahead.”
Mack goes up on her tip toes, cupping David’s cheeks as their tongues meet first. It’s a hot, deep, knee weakening kiss that has Mack softening into his chest. David lifts her up. Mack’s knees curl as she laughs into their kiss.
“My wife.” David murmurs.
“Yours. Mine. Forever.” She agrees, kissing him with each word. David sets her back on her heels. They turn to their guests and smile. Everyone claps and cheers, but Mack and David have their eyes set on the doors leading back into the venue. Mack discards her bouquet on an outside table. When they get inside then their focus is on the hallway, then the bridal suite.
Five minutes into their marriage, David buries himself deep into Mack’s core. He works her up into a feverish rush of desire then shoves her off the cliff into a white hot orgasm that feels different than any one she’s had before. Because this time it’s her husband who fills her up right after. Mack kisses all over his face- lips, jaw, mustache- as he puts her legs back down on the ground.
“So much better as my wife.” He wiggles his black eyebrows at her. Mack can’t stop grinning. Her cheeks already hurt from all the love and smiles she’s had today. But then David leans down and kisses her dimples, clearing all the discomfort away. “I love you.”
“I love you.” She agrees.
Then they walk hand in hand back to where everyone waits for them.
The second Mack and David are visible in the reception doorway, Connor starts yelling.
“My brother!!!!!!!”
“Oh my god.” Mack laughs as Connor comes sliding over in his dress shoes. David releases her hand and runs towards his D partner.
“Brother!!!” David yells, picking Connor up. They both shake each other around, two big bodies moving awkwardly through the air as they try to express their excitement.
“You two are such idiots.” Lucie teases. “Congrats, Mackie. I’m so happy for you.” Lucie rubs Mack’s shoulder as she pulls her in for a hug.
“Thanks, Luc.”
Her parents are next, followed by her little sister. Then she accepts hugs from the Meiers and of course, Felix and Lorena.
“Mrs. Mackenize.” Felix greets. Mack giggles at the name change. “Good choice keeping your last name. His sucks.” He jerks his hand at David.
“Bet it looks pretty good on your checks, old man.” David grins at Felix, all love for the older man.
“Yes! It goes!” Lorena slaps Felix’s chest. “Thank you both so much for having us here. This is a dream vacation, but we are honored to be here to celebrate your love.”
David and Mack paid their entire way as a thank you for everything the two of them do on the farm, especially while they are in New York for the season. This is the least they could do. Lorena had been telling Mack she couldn’t remember the last vacation they went on. Mack knew what they were going to do instantly. They’re all set up to continue their relaxation for another week, even after the NHL families head back home.
Next are Nico and Lexi who both hold their daughter together.
“We love you. And David is right, you are perfect.” Lexi assures her. “Nothing to change.” Mack blinks two tears down her cheeks. Her parents have never made her feel this way. It’s all been internal turmoil, but just like David, they’ve found ways to soothe and heal her over the years too.
“Thank you.” She whispers then lets them move on to her husband.
Sophie rushes over, collapsing into Mack’s arms and sighing happily.
“I love you, Mackie! I’m so happy for you.” Sophie looks at her with stunning green eyes, framed by long lashes that make her look innocent and younger than her age. To Mack, she’ll always be five years old, needing help into her Kindergarten classroom. “Let’s drink! Luc!” Sophie calls their other sister over. “Livy! Sav! All the guuuuurls!”
The group of women wanders up to the bar together. They all get glasses of champagne. Then the DJ puts on an absolute banger and they all run away to the dance floor without Mack, who backs out of Sophie’s grip.
“Give me a minute.” She chuckles.
“ONE!” Sophie yells back then bops her way to the dance floor and immediately starts to drop it low.
Mack takes a sip of her champagne, then a hand grabs her elbow. She grins, hugging her uncle Timo.
“My little bully is all grown up. Congratulations, Mack. I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you.” Mack hugs him harder.
“Save me a dance?”
“Always.” She nods, then watches him walk off, handing a glass of champagne to his wife. Mack smiles to herself as they kiss. She’s lucky to have had incredible examples of marriages that last with hard work and two people who try. She hopes her and David can continue to replicate this in their own way.
Mack drifts her gaze across the event, trying to stay present in this moment. This day has been the best one of her life; she meant it when she told David that earlier. It’s the people who are here and the man that she just married and the ocean breeze that blows her curls around her face. She didn’t know it could be this good.
All she wants for the rest of her life is to keep this.
All of it.
David’s hand slides around her waist. She does the same to him, resting her head against his chest. They don’t share any words as they watch the part around them.
There are none left to say.
All they can do is soak it all in.
Read more Mack and David here.
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Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 31
Notes: SAW THE MOVIE! Left a full review (spoiler (optional) and spoiler free) on my page! Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!
Summary: Sonic and Shadow deal with their ‘distress’.
UC Masterpost!
Link to my AO3!
Start:
“Damnit!” Shadow hisses, having Sonic pressed against a wall for support with his arm around the blue hedgehog’s waist, “What the hell were you thinking???”
Sonic just smirks and grits his teeth through the pain, winking at Shadow as he speaks, “I was thinking I was fighting with my Shadow. Forgot you don’t really fight the same as him..”
Shadow groans a bit at this, rolling his eyes in frustration as he looks at the bots coming down the halls of Eggman’s base. He narrowly got himself and Sonic away from that bigger bot without the blue hedgehog receiving more injury than he already has. He needed to get that emerald and get out of there!
“Stay here,” Shadow demands with a pointed look at the hero, “I’ll clear the way.”
Sonic just huffs at this, leaning a bit more insistently against the wall as Shadow carefully lets go of him to step back, “Where would I go??”
Shadow doesn’t even acknowledge that with an answer, simply rolling his eyes with an irritated shake of his head as he looks towards the incoming bots.
It doesn’t take much for him to wipe them out. A few blasts of the chaos spear and some air kicks and spindashes, and it’s cleared. Shadow turns back to Sonic then who has steadily made his way towards Shadow by scooting along the wall.
“I told you to stay put,” Shadow gruffs out, eyes narrowed at Sonic as he returns to him to allow the hedgehog to use him as a crutch.
“Got bored,” Sonic shrugs, leaning into Shadow as they limp down the hall towards where the emerald is being kept.
Shadow’s eyes look down at Sonic’s leg. More specifically, his thigh. The blue fur there is matted up with deep, red blood. Black scabs already are trying to form due to the air hitting the wound, but Shadow knows good and well it’ll need medical attention before it can close up. Unless they can get this emerald.. then they can use it to heal him. Hopefully.
Making it to the sealed door, he lets Sonic prop against the wall again as he deals with the security lock, typing in whatever it is hackers type in just like in movies because that’s definitely how hacking works mhm.
Sonic watches him. How tense he is, how rushed. He’s breathing heavy..
He holds up his wrist watch to read “Amy’s” vitals, seeing Shadow’s heart rate has indeed spiked rapidly. Sonic looks back to him again.
His eyes aren’t glowing.. there’s no red sparks flickering in the air around him.
He seems pretty in control of his emotions despite them being a bit more panicked currently..
“..You shouldn’t have sent out that distress signal,” Sonic says after a moment, “Gonna have everyone worried—“
“Quiet,” Shadow snaps, “I’m trying to think.”
Sonic snorts and rolls his eyes, looking down at his wound and examining the damage.
That Chaos Spear packs quite a punch..
Glancing down the hall to see if Eggman has followed with his big bot yet, he sees the coast is still clear and looks back to Shadow.
Shifting on his leg a bit uncomfortably, he swallows the pain and speaks again, “You ‘bout done??”
“I said quiet,” Shadow grits out, growling a bit this time to which Sonic smirks slightly and just watches him continuing typing on the security pad.
“Why so tense, Shads—“
“Don’t call me that.”
“—if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were worried.”
Shadow’s eyes glance to Sonic at that, narrowed and angered. Then down to his wound. Then back to the pad.
He’s not just worried, he’s guilty. He feels responsible. Sonic just sighs a bit at that, still offering a casual smile as to not let Shadow see how much it hurts, “I shouldn’t have jumped in the way. It’s just that when my Shadow and I train together, he has this move with his chaos spear where—“
“Do you ever shut up???” Shadow hisses, not really caring to hear any of this right now. He just wants to get that emerald and get Sonic back to the workshop.
Sonic huffs at this, “I was just trying to say it wasn’t your fault—“
“Finally,” Shadow breathes to himself when the doors hiss and slide open. And just in time, too. They hear the loud, distant thumping of robotic footsteps from down the hall.
“Oh hedgehogs! Come out, come out wherever you are!” Eggman’s voice coos through the speakers, Sage’s following after.
“They have accessed the emerald vault, Father.”
“What?! Sunnyside! Get them!!”
Shadow’s wide eyes dart down the hall to see the robot turning the corner for them, already firing to which Shadow quickly shifts his body around Sonic’s to absorb any hits that may land. Arms and legs outstretched and pressed against the wall on either side of him as Sonic stares up at him with wide eyes.
“Go!” Shadow grits, beginning to feel his barriers fall as the blasts get more and more powerful.
That’s the thing with them. Their chaotic abilities allow them to take a good brunt of hits so long as they have ring energy to keep their chaos energy charged up inside. It’s why they can spindash through robots and take hits from lasers and get right back up. But when a blast of chaos energy hits them??? It’s gonna hurt.. which is why Sonic’s thigh is currently split open from Shadow’s chaos blast.
Shadow is all charged up and able to take some hits currently, Sonic is vulnerable.
After blinking out of his brief stupor, Sonic quickly uses the wall to shuffle around the doorway and into the emerald vault. Once Sonic is safe inside, Shadow turns to properly hold off Eggman’s latest creation.
And he has a lot of frustration to get out on that thing.
Sonic makes his way to the control panel of the glass enclosure the emerald is being kept in, typing on the keypad only to have his access denied.
“Damnit,” he whispers to himself.
He can’t spindash through the barrier, currently. He needs the passkey..
As if sensing his distress, Sage appears from the wall behind him.
“You cannot take that,” she says, Sonic flinching and turning to lean back on the control panel and look at Sage.
“Chaos, Sage, you can’t sneak up on a hog like that—“
“Father will be displeased if you escape with the emerald. It is essential to his future plans..”
“Yeah, well, it’s essential to my current plans,” Sonic replies with a smirk, turning back to the control panel, “And I’d sure appreciate it if you helped a pal out.”
“We are not pals,” Sage clarifies, “..But I have scanned your lover.”
Sonic’s eyes widen a bit and turn to Sage at that.
“…He is not yours, is he..?”
“Now what makes you say that??” he smirks, tilting his head slightly.
“He does not move the way yours does,” the AI explains, “Nor does he speak the same..”
It makes sense that she would take notice in this. She’s very observant.. but also, her and Shadow had some sort of… moment back on Starfall Islands. Some sort of talk about family.. losing them. Sacrifice. Being created by a Robotnik. It all seemed to have made Sage respect Shadow a bit more..
Sonic frowns a little at Sage’s words, looking back to control panel as the sound of Shadow’s battle cries and explosions remind him he’s kinda on the clock here, “Yeah, well.. no denying that, huh??”
“Your fighting tactics were thrown off by this. It was very noticeable and resulted in your injury,” she points out, Sonic rolling his eyes at this.
“Yes, Sage, I’m aware—“
“Is the emerald necessary to get back your Shadow??”
Sonic looks back to her at that, eyes watching the AI’s flickering blue ones..
“…yeah.”
Sage looks at Sonic a long moment before she eventually moves to the control panel, “There isn’t much time. Father has reinforcements on the way.” She places her palm flat on the panel and the emerald case immediately opens up, Sonic’s eyes widening and his smile growing.
He doesn’t waste time, moving around the panel and grabbing the emerald before turning back to her with a grateful nod, “Thanks, Sage..”
“Thank me when Shadow is back with his family,” she says simply, Sonic’s smile softening at that before he looks to Shadow and calls,
“Shadow! I got it!”
Shadow glances to Sonic mid-combat, nodding his head in recognition before landing a hard blow on the robot he’s currently battling to make it stumble back for a moment.
Using this opening, he skates to Sonic quickly, Sonic lifting the emerald above his head at this moment.
“Chaos—“
Shadow reaches Sonic.
“—Control!”
They’re zapped out of there with a flash of light..
Knuckles is just rushing out the door when a flash of light stops him in his tracks, shielding his eyes momentarily before lowing his fists to see Shadow standing there with Sonic held bridal style in his arms.
“Sonic!” Knuckles immediately calls, rushing to the two with worry in his eyes, “You okay, buddy??”
Sonic just offers a little smirk, “Yeah, I’m good. Just took a bit of a hit.”
Shadow looks down at his wound, frowning at the sight of it.. he’s lost enough blood as is. They need to get it dealt with.
“The distress call—“ Knuckles frowns, brows knitting up as he looks at Sonic’s gash, “it kinda—“
“Yeah, I know. Didn’t mean to worry you guys, but Shadow over here—“
“No,” Knuckles interrupts, earning Sonic’s attention again with the urgency in his tone, “It—… we had contact with Shadow— our Shadow.”
Sonic’s eyes widen, body tensing immediately as he begins shifting in Shadow’s arms to be put down. Shadow, in fact, does not put him down.
“What?! When?! Is-is he alright?!”
“Yeah, well— we assume he is! His signal was hardly even there, and he couldn’t communicate back, but he let us know he heard our end by temporarily switching his locator on.”
“How long ago was this??”
“Like. Two minutes ago,” Knuckles shrugs, and that’s all it takes. Sonic is squirming his way right out of Shadow’s arms much to Shadow’s annoyance and protesting.
“Would you hold still?! You’re injured—“
“I need to talk to him! What if he saw the distress call?! He’s probably worried sick!”
“You’re not gonna help matters by being hurt! He obviously can’t communicate right now, and I’m sure the fox is working on it,” Shadow argues, now having to simply resort to holding Sonic by his elbows insistently as Sonic tries to pull away, “We need to worry about what we can control, right now, and that’s getting you patched up.”
“I’m fine!” Sonic insists, jerking away from Shadow only to immediately stumble and fall—
Luckily Shadow catches him before he hits the ground, pulling him right back up into his arms to carry,
“You’re not!”
Sonic’s brows are knitted up tight, gritting his teeth at the throbbing pain in his thigh.. not to mention the exhaustion of using chaos control.. his eyes shift to Knuckles who is looking at him worriedly.
“…Come get me the second we have a signal again.”
“I will,” Knuckles assures with a nod.
“Good,” Sonic sighs, looking back to Shadow with a nod towards the house, “Okay. Let’s get this over with so I can get to that communicator..”
Shadow nods, relieved Sonic is actually gonna allow him this rather than fighting him on it.
He needs to fix what he broke.
“I’ll take this to Tails—“
Knuckles reaches for the emerald, but Shadow stops him.
“We need that.”
“For what??”
“Healing,” Shadow says firmly, jerking the emerald away from Sonic’s hand and Knuckles’ reach.
Knuckles frowns at this, “You can’t heal with the emerald.”
“Like hell I can’t,” Shadow snarks back, eyes narrowing at Knuckles.
“Only Sonic can, and his energy isn’t high enough right now—“
“I can,” Shadow insists, in case he didn’t make himself clear.
“You???” Knuckles scoffs, crossing his arms, “But your—… your chaos energy isn’t—“
“Isn’t what??” Shadow snarls, getting tired of his time being wasted while Sonic still sits in his arms bleeding.
Knuckles blinks at him, watching him a moment before speaking, “You’ve done this before??”
“Yes, why would I offer it if I wasn’t experienced in it?? Now if you would excuse me, I’m trying to save the one person here who actually matters!”
And with no real recollection to what he just word vomited out out of rage, Shadow spins around to quickly walk himself and Sonic inside, Knuckles watching with wide and confused eyes.
Sonic blinks up at Shadow once inside, “Uh- Mobius to Shadow—what was that about??”
“He was wasting our time,” Shadow huffs, moving Sonic into the kitchen to set him on the counter carefully, “For people you consider friends, they don’t seem to worried about your wellbeing—“
“Hey, don’t say that,” Sonic warns with a frown, watching as Shadow begins fumbling for a wash cloth under the sink, “They care, they just know I can handle it. You should know that, too—“
“You weren’t hit by a laser, Hedgehog, you were hit by pure chaos energy. It shouldn’t be taken lightly—“
“It’s happened before, and I’ve been fine!” Sonic huffs with a roll of his eyes, “This is ridiculous, I should be in the workshop with Tails right now—“
“Even if that fox gets in contact with your Shadow, do you really think he’d be happy knowing that instead of mending your wound, you’re allowing yourself to bleed freely while crouching over a half-baked communicator??”
Sonic huffs at this, looking away as Shadow wets the cloth and begins cleaning blood off the fur around the wound.
“…How can you heal with the emerald?” Sonic asks now, turning his head to Shadow, “My Shadow can’t do that.”
“Sounds like he’s a sorry excuse of an Ultimate Lifeform then,” Shadow grumbles, focused on cleaning the matted fur so he can properly see the wound.
“He’s not,” Sonic snaps defensively, “He’s the best of us. Of any of us… he just-…”
Shadow glances up to Sonic when he doesn’t finish his words, seeing the blue hedgehog now looking out the window in thought.
Shadow sighs through his nose and looks back to the wound, “…Would all this talk of your Shadow not being able to heal be because of whatever happened with the Black Arms..?”
Sonic tenses immediately.
That alone is enough answer for Shadow.
“…You said you defeated them.. the Black Arms,” Sonic says after a long pause, Shadow having cleaned up most of the fur around the wound and now working on cleaning the actual wound itself. Sonic hisses a bit in discomfort but his mind is too distracted to be further bothered by it than that.
“I did,” Shadow nods, eyes glancing up to Sonic before back to the wound.
“…’I’. As in alone..?”
“Sort of,” Shadow says with a small shrug, “There was help along the way, I suppose… but when it came down to it, it was myself and Doom.. and I put an end to it for good.”
“How?”
“…Well, I used chaos control to move the Black Comet in the Eclipse Canon’s line of fire. It was destroyed.. I never faced any of the Black Arms again until the Time Eater incident..”
Sonic’s brows knit a bit at that, looking down a moment before back to Shadow, “…Where was I during all this?? Your me, I mean..”
“Helping GUN,” he explained with a small shrug, “You and your friends had your own plans to help save the planet. In the end, it was futile since Black Doom used mind control to freeze you all in place.. I was immune due to having his blood in my DNA.”
“…That’s not what happened at all here..”
Shadow glances up to Sonic at that, seeing how the hedgehog’s ears are drooped and there’s a frown on his muzzle..
It’s an odd sight. To see the hero so.. confused and almost defeated in appearance..
“…I’m going to heal you now,” Shadow says quietly, hand resting over Sonic’s wound while the other moves to hold the chaos emerald, “This may feel odd..”
Sonic just nods and allows the process, eyes watching out the window at the ARK in the sky..
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sonadow#fanfiction#my writing#my fanfiction#sonadow fanfiction#uc series#black doom#black arms#sonic x shadow generations#knuckles the echidna#knuckles#tails prower#miles tails prower#tails the fox#eggman#ivo robotnik#robotnik#sage robotnik
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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petition for the animators to spare lxl from the ✨male gaze✨ p l s
#anyways g u e s s who (unfortunately) survived the acid (sadge) and has decided to spread the t o x i n s on this very suiyoubi—#also! since the start of the lxl movie is shown to be around the beginning of the year (thanks longleg poster)…#aizo is prolly 13 going on 14 when you see him with his undone shirt. s o. ye a h#was there even a need to unbutton his shirt fully for the bed scene h e l l o he was perfectly fine with it half buttoned just moments ago—#or what did he slam his album shut so hard that his shirt buttons flew off? animators pls#g o d don’t y’all hate it when your shirt unbuttons itself while you’re surfing the interwebs </3#if they really wanted to show him relaxing in bed they could’ve just. idk had him change into something else instead of that unnecessary pan#also i still maintain that the shower scene in the [redacted] anime was wholly unnecessary and very uncomfortable to watch#let the guys have their privacy man. they already have to deal with chizu-chan taking creepshots of them in the [redacted] anime—#the mvm gets a pass though bc that ab reveal was yujiro’s fault. end of story#it is suiyoubi my dudes
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.
#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa#something is Wrong lol#i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches#all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now#but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit#and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on#to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back#like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend#i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect#i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back#but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms#or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations#or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings#or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af#because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff#im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility#i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn#but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself#and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc#i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself#and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it#i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do#i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it#and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person#<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation#of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT
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Sending strength and love and good vibes your way honey. You can do this!
I really really hope you’re right 🤞
#thank you I appreciate it#I just got back from the church choir rehearsal#I’ve been doing this choir cause it makes my parents happy#but after this one idk if I’ll be able to again#with everything I have going on and especially the fact that I’ve been dealing with a lot of Christian trauma#I don’t feel right singing things I don’t necessarily believe#and I feel bad saying this#but the main reason why I agreed was cause I thought there was going to be high notes!#but no#there is a SINGLE high note#and we are singing like 4 songs#just give me ledger line notes and I’ll be happy#anyway I was at the rehearsal today and I was on the verge of tears the entire time#just cause I was so incredibly uncomfortable and I couldn’t help but think of everything that’s going on#and NOW#I get to go to my brothers house and celebrate Easter#and my cousin is going to be there and she just gets under my skin#not really her fault cause it’s just my jealousy getting in the way#but she’s young I don’t think she’s even 20 yet#she has her own place#she has her own dog#and she’s bringing her boyfriend today#I just can’t help but think about what my life would have been like if I got the help I needed#but nah#growing up no adult gave a shit about me#so that’s super duper cool 👌#anyway gonna try and smoke and move on#but damn it’s a lot easier said than done#shut up rosie
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Idk man if you're constantly talking about your crushing loneliness and feelings of being ostracised and left out when you ostensibly have a bunch of friends around you then maybe the feelings of loneliness aren't the problem there
#i would always feel really empty and distant and 'act out' after our hangouts#and i always framed it as like 'i get the high when i'm around people and then i crash afterwards'#and didn't really consider that maybe sitting in a vc for 4 hours feeling left out while other people have fun is just soul sucking#it was always framed as my behaviour that was the problem. 'you did this and you did that.' so i just kinda internalized that#if i felt like shit it must be my fault. everybody knows i'm the one who causes problems so i'm just causing more problems#if i say that something made me uncomfortable and the response is 'i wont make accomodations and how dare you even ask' it must be my fault#idk. we filled out consent forms in the game i'm really not excited to play and i was reminded that nobody ever asked my consebt#and when i tried to advocate for myself and voice that i wasn't consenting it was treated like i was causing problems by trying to say that#and i saw that as a reasonable reaction at the time cause i had been so deeply convinced that i was broken and horrible#that if i was trying to revoke my consent or even just negotiate it then i was ruining everything for everybody else#that if i was uncomfortable with what was going on i needed to just shut up and live with it#i wish i had realized that and dropped out months ago. maybe that could have preserved some semblance of my relationships with those people#far too late for that now. i'm trying to accept that#and all that effort was wasted anyway#i tried to say once that i was putting in a massive amount of effort and i felt like nobody was recognizing that fact#and i still kind of feel that way#i put hours of mental energy into trying to be enough for people who kept demanding more from me and kept giving me less in return#did that do me any good or did it just cause me 3 months of grief and an empty bank account from therapy?#the problem is that i still wish things had turned out better even though i know i had no control over that#if i had kept advocating for myself it just would have been over far faster. i guess that might have spared me a bit of money#if i tried to talk about the problems it would have just been dismissed with some quick quippy therapy phrase amounting to 'not my fault'#we're already living in the universe where i put all my effort into changing in the ways i was told to change and look how well that went#idk. the attitude was never 'let's fix the problems.' it was always 'you need to fix it.' and then when i did it was#'now there's a new problem. fix that one too. and this one. and that one.'#and to do all that work for somebody and then be told they thought you never even cared about them. man it just stings#idk. it's in the past now. but i can't build new relationships. i'm trying and it's impossible#i try meeting new people and they all suck. i try strengthening relationships with old people and they all get too busy or leave.#the only reason i post these things on tumblr is cause i don't have anybody else to talk to about it#the only person i could talk to has their own shit going on. there really just isn't anybody else#personal
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One more and I’ll shut the fuck up. ✌️
#I know this is just a phase and I’ll be okay#just wanted to get that out there#because I don’t want anyone to be mad at me or annoyed with me or just uncomfortable with me#I’m a difficult person I don't handle my emotions well and I’m aware that I need to fix myself#I don’t know what the fuck life has for me#but I’m going to see it through#maybe I am meant to be alone and that should be okay#maybe I’ll find a companion and that’s okay too#all I know is that the good things that have happened to me—were unexpected#they’ll come at some point—when I’m least expecting#also I know I need to stop talking about shit like this#I will be better and if you guys need me to shut up please tell me because I won’t pick up cues otherwise
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i am a creature of the night at heart bc early mornings are a whole ass struggle for me
#kai.rambles#genuinely feel like im dying rn#woke up at 4:40am so i could have at least 20mins to process the trauma of waking up before i actually had to get out of bed#my feet touching the cold floor so early bc my slippers were further away than expected felt like needles#even washing my face hurt like my skin was not ready to be washed so early#and putting on my skincare felt uncomfortable#breakfast was good though ngl idk what my bf put in that omelet but it was amazing and with some avocado toast 🤤#but it’s so cold out i wanna go back to beddd 😫#even my nose is congested bro like wtf#it’s a whole trauma for real#BUTTTT I WOKE UP TO FIND OUT I HAVE POLLS NOW SO IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THATT!!!#still shadow banned though :(#ok im gonna shut up now just needed to shout my struggles into the void while i wait for my coffee to be ready#i miss you guys 🥹
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i whole heartedly had the maternal aunt awakening for the kids. LIKE FROM THE FIRST SCENE WHERE THEY SAID FAMILY MAN TRAITOR AND WENT BACK YO GO HSUHSUHSUSHUS SHUSHSUSHSU IN THE CORNER!!!!! I JUMPED AND GIGGLED LIKE A MANIC AS IF I KNOW SHIT BRO 😦?
I LOVE!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I REPEAT !!!!! I LOVE THE KIDS (and their dad but anyways)
i ahve a lot of thoughst and lets jot it down in the tags muehehehhehe (aw hell naw man tumblr ate my fav tag : is doctor hwa single. or rich momma sophie? help a med kid out!!!!) ALSO ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE CONTRIBUTION TO ATEEZ FIC COMMUNITY WE CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE YAY!!!
the parent trap | KHJ
part 1 of the Night in Hollywood!series
☆ trope: exes to lovers!au, divorced!au
☆ pairing: producer!hongjoong x designer!reader, dad!joong x mom!reader
☆ warnings: nsfw (mdni), swearing, mentions of food, mentions of food poisoning, female desc. reader, drinking, suggestiveness, smut, slight!breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), overstim, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap!) nipple play, titty sucking, marking, praise, slightdom!joong, blond!joong bc that itself is too much for me, mentions of (early) pregnancy, you’re both in your early thirties and make an unbelievably stubborn couple in this!
☆ synopsis: AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each other’s houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions you’ve swept under the rug? . . .
☆ word count: 18.1k
☆ playlist: soulful strut by young-holt unlimited, l-o-v-e by nat king cole, just the way you are by billy joel, slipping through my fingers by abba, this will be (an everlasting love) by natalie cole
☆ a/n: it’s finally here. I can’t believe I’m writing this and saying it’s finally here oh my goodness. first off, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me with the series so far (shoutout to @kitten4sannie , @byuntrash101 and especially @desirehorizon for being amazing!) everyone’s sweet comments have been greatly appreciated, and I just hope this silly little fic brings a smile to your everyday lives.
ty for making writing worth it as a writer. now cue the opening credits!
“ABSOLUTELY NOT” Hongjoong says.
“But dadd,” she whines, clutching the wrinkled pamphlet closer to her chest. Eunseo’s small hands are covered in purple doodles her sister drew using a glitter pen.
“Why not?” the girl complains, shrugging her shoulders.
He sighs, pushing his glasses up with one hand as he continues typing away at the important document the producing company sent him on his laptop. He tries his best to reason with the child.
“Because, baby…” pausing to think for a moment before responding. “It would be hard for your mom and I to find a time that fits into our schedules. I’ve got work, and she must be busy as well.”
Eunseo glares at her father’s excuse.
Okay, yeah, the man knows it’s somewhat of a lie, himself.
She continues to protest by shoving the advertising pamphlet in her dads face and blocking his view of the screen. Thankfully, Hongjoong is used to these sort of work distractions, expertly avoiding her by craning his neck sideways and continuing to type away.
“But dad, it’s an amazing cottage resort! They’ve got a lake where you can go swimming in, a forest hiking trail, a bonfire to roast marshmallows and even a diner less than fifteen minutes away! So if you end up burning the camp food like last time, we can just order and eat in! Isn’t that great?” She beams.
He stops typing for a second, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he gives his first born a look that makes her immediately break into a sweet smile, batting her lashes and flashing him a look of innocence.
“Please?” She begs, standing on the edge of her feet as she gazes up at him. “The last time we went was when Eunbyul and me were toddlers.”
And how on earth could any dad’s heart not melt at the sight of his daughter trying to convince him about one harmless vacation?
Hongjoong wheels his office chair back, turning so he could look her in the eyes properly and tuck a stray hair behind her ear.
“Listen honey, I’m sorry, I really wish I could, but…” he trails off, looking back at the open tabs and file documents displayed on his computer.
Turning his head around and upon seeing a frown form on his daughter's face, he quickly reassures her.
“Once you finish your final piano recital tomorrow and your mom picks your sister up to take her to her hockey game, how about we go fishing the weekend afterwards?” he suggests, brows raising. “That’ll mean I have just the two of you all to myself.”
Eunseo mumbles under her breath, quiet but insistent enough that he catches it.
“But we’re supposed to be a family of four.”
She sulks, thinking of how that would leave you, her mother, left out of their plans. The arms holding the pamphlet up, ultimately fall down in defeat.
He places a peck on her forehead, patting her on the back. “You know, if you can get your mom to say yes, then I’ll think about it” he chuckles, knowing the highly unlikely probability of the event.
Adjusting his glasses, the producer goes back to his work, peeking his daughter slugging away from the corner of his eye.
Eunseo slumps her shoulders in defeat as she walks out of her dads office, turning the corner to see her twin sister, Eunbyeol, pressing her ears near the door with her neck outstretched. Clearly she’s been caught in the middle of trying to overhear their conversation.
The twin younger by fifteen seconds quickly rushes over, waiting expectantly.
“So? What did dad say?”
Eunseo exhales, throwing the information pamphlet away on the wooden floors and slumping against the living room couch.
“He’s totally not buggin. Said he wants to take us fishing next weekend instead. Just us three.” she grumbles.
Eunbyeol scrunches her nose at the idea.
“But dad sucks at fishing.”
Her sister groans, kicking her small feet against the couch in frustration. “I know!” Eunbyeol starts to worry, coming to sit beside her.
“Then how on earth are we going to get mom and dad to get back with each other again? They haven’t been in the same room since we were like, five!”
Her twin sister scoffs, “First, we gotta get them to have a proper conversation with each other. They barely even talk when they drop us off at each other's houses.”
Nobody truly knows why you and Hongjoong had divorced so suddenly when the girls were young. Not even themselves.
All they were used to were cold stares and one word replies shared amongst their parents, refusing to find harmony in their co-parenting.
Frankly, your girls have had enough of the performance you were both trying to maintain, looking past your expressions to realize you and your husband still held feelings for the other. It was only a matter of time and place in order to set you two up together, thus, the idea of an intimate, family getaway came into their minds.
After a few moments of letting her words hang in the air, Eunbyeol’s eyes widened to the size of saucers.
“That’s it!”
The older twin looks up quizzically, watching her sister jump off the couch and gaze at her excitedly.
“We’ll just have to force them to meet each other! We can always guilt trip them for dropping us off at their houses and making us play alone!”
Eunseo rolls her eyes at the idea. “Right, and how are we going to do that dummy? The only reason they’d do that, was if it was an emergency.”
Whoever said twin telepathy wasn’t a thing was a liar, because the second Eunseo catches onto what her sister is saying, the twins share a look of pure mischievousness, the gears in their brains working together as one.
With hushed whispers and quiet giggles, the twins immediately begin conducting their plan in secrecy near the corner of the living room, backs turned and in the middle of discussion when Hongjoong walks out of his office with an empty coffee mug.
“What are you guys doing over there?”
“Leave us alone! Family man traitor!” Eunbyeol shouts, holding a slightly hostile grudge to her father before turning back to whisper to her twin.
Hongjoong shakes his head, sighing as he heads into the kitchen.
“Then it’s perfect! I’ll stay here with dad once my piano recital is over, and then when Mom picks you up for your hockey game tomorrow, we’ll try convincing them together!”
Eunbyeol nods her head in agreement, eyes lighting up with excitement as she whispers in a hushed tone.
“And once both events end, we’ll pretend to be so sick that they have to take us to the nearby hospital.”
The other twin smirks. ”Where we’ll end up guilt tripping them into taking us to the cottage.”
They double high five in victory at their flawless plan, already waiting for tomorrow to come as soon as possible.
“A summer cottage?” you repeated, brows raising at the idea as you made a left turn onto your street.
Eunbyeol nods eagerly from the back seat after getting picked up, having ranted on and on about the ad in the pamphlet since the moment you saw her.
“It's an amazing establishment mom,” She boasts, making you laugh at her words while parking the car and unbuckling your seatbelt.
“They have everything you could possibly think of!”
“Oh, really?” You say skeptically, opening the door for her.
Eunbyeol is lost in the middle of passionately describing all the relaxing activities you could do by yourself, or rather per se, with a special partner together.
“There’s couples hiking retreats, couples canoeing, couples yoga… did I mention couples hiking retreats?” She confuses, retracing her words.
You roll your eyes and smile, keys jangling as you walk through the entrance of your apartment flat while balancing the bags and items in your hands.
Being a wedding dress designer and yet picking up your daughter from your ex-husband's house could’ve been ironic to some people. But after having split with Hongjoong since the girls were so young, you came to grow fond of having some independence as a divorcee, channeling your main focus into setting up your own bridal shop downtown.
It was through that hard work and focus that you did it all by yourself with no additional help.
You’d be lying if you said you haven't opened a bottle of red wine some nights due to loneliness as a divorced single mother, but at least that was what you had your daughters for.
You made sure to work just as hard as you did enjoy playing and spending time with them. After all, they were the light of your life and purpose for living.
Balancing the pizza you picked up on the way home, you set it down on the kitchen island, telling Eunbyeol to go wash her hands in the sink. The girl doesn’t stop ranting.
“There’s usually only two rooms in the cottage, so you’ll have to sleep together with dad, but I guess you won't mind, would you? After all, you were once married” She rolls her eyes, reaching for the soap.
You shake your head with a sigh. ”What is up with you and getting me and your father together in the same room?” you muttered as you took out the plates and utensils.
Eunbyeol eventually walks back to you, wiping her hands on her baggy jeans before sitting on the kitchen stool.
“It’s not that I’m obsessed, Mom. Actually, Eunseo and I are just dying to get away this summer now that school is over.”
Turning around from plating the pizza and salad, you chastise your daughter, telling her to sit with her bum flat on the stool so she doesn’t fall. She immediately listens, carrying on with her persuasion.
“We just want you and dad to get the chance to relax as well, that’s all!” her mouth full from a bite of hot, greasy pizza.
You smile, wiping your washed hands on the kitchen towel and coming over to wrap your arms around her affectionately.
“Spending time with you and Eunseo every week is how I relax,” you assured her, smothering your baby with kisses on her cheek.
Byeol lets out a squeal of annoyance, taking another bite of her pizza. “You’re squishing me!” She tries hiding her smile, failing when you lean in closer.
You pull back in laughter, ruffling her hair as you walk away while reminding her.
“Oh! Don’t forget you’ve got your hockey game tonight!”
Byeol chews faster, munching on the soft crust and counting down the hours on the kitchen clock.
She smiles to herself.
“Don’t worry, I know!”
“What do you mean you need to go to the hospital?” Hongjoong asks in a worried voice, standing against the women’s washroom stall. He holds Eunseo’s congratulatory flower bouquet for first place in hand, feeling the stares of multiple women passing by, clearly judging him for being in the ladies room with them.
“Honey, is everything all right?” He asks worriedly. A string of groans come from behind the door.
“You need to leave!” one old lady thrusts her walking cane at the father, lips pursed in dissatisfaction.
Eunseo did such a phenomenal job tonight for her piano recital, that Hongjoong was shocked to see his daughter clutch her stomach first thing after running down the steps of the stage, dashing to the washrooms.
He whips his head back. “My daughter’s having a bit of a situation in here, okay miss? Have a bit of understanding!” He barks frustratedly out loud to the onlookers before speaking softly back to the stall door.
“Eunseo, baby, talk to me, is everything alright in there? Are you sure you need to go to the hospital? Is it that bad?”
The girl continues her acting performance, letting out fake groans while typing furiously on her cellphone.
“Oh the pain! I think I might have food poisoning, dad!”
Seolie: How far along are u
Byeolie: Mom’s outside, banging to come in.
Seolie: same, I told dad I needed to go to the hospital.
Eunseo lets out another groan of pain, causing Hongjoong to worry even more.
“That’s it, Eunseo. Let me in and help you” he decides, searching his bag for a painkiller or at least some sort of medication for relief.
The girl frantically checks her phone, eyes lighting up at the new message.
Byeolie: Mom’s getting the car to take me to the hospital. I’ve got her convinced to call dad soon.
Eunseo types as fast as her small fingers can move, even faster than when she performed her piano solo from before.
Seolie: Then what do I do????
Hongjoong gets slightly suspicious at the lack of sound coming from the stall, calling to his daughter again.
“Eunseo? Everything alright?”
At the next notification, the girl makes up her mind, getting the signal from her sister.
Byeolie: play dead. Mom calling soon. See ya there.
The actress gets into character, gaining her composure before unlocking the washroom stall and holding her stomach as she stumbles into her dad’s surprised arms.
“Eunseo!”
She wails, falling limp. “Oh, dad! Please! Take me to the hospital, it hurts too much!”
It’s truly a mystery which parent she got her acting skills from.
But she doesn’t have to tell him twice at that point. The man is already piggy backing his fainted daughter and sprinting out of the ladies washroom, reassuring her with soothing comments as he makes a beeline for the parking lot.
“Stay with me baby!” He huffs, unbeknownst to Eunseo who peeks one eye open.
Only after he straps his daughter in the backseat and is turning on the engine does he receive a sudden phone call from you, pressing the speaker for the whole car to hear your panicked voice. You break the news to him first.
“Eunbyeol’s severely sick. She fainted right after her hockey game.”
Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “What?”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “She was holding her stomach saying she ate something wrong. Is Eunseo okay?”
Hongjoong puts the stick into drive, backing out of the parking lot and replying in a hurry.
“She’s hit with the same thing right now. I’ll meet you at the Hospital in ten” he grunts, sweat forming on his brow as he speeds through traffic, not caring if he gets a ticket.
Had he looked in his rear view mirror, he would have seen Eunseo sagging near the car door, clutching her stomach with a small grin on her face.
You never liked the hospital.
The sounds of babies crying and hospital beds wheeling become the background noise, shifting nervously in your seat that was in the emergency pediatrics unit waiting area.
Hongjoong has his eyebrows furrowed, hunched over one seat beside you as he hangs his head in his hands, knees bouncing up and down. A middle aged nurse nasally calls on the next family waiting from the front desk, boredom laced in her voice.
You sigh, uncrossing your legs and choosing to bite at the fingernail on your right hand once realizing you’ve already done the same to all the ones on your left.
“It’s all my fault.” Hongjoong confesses, suddenly sitting still.
You glance to your left, watching as he sits up slowly.
“Last thing they ate together would’ve been at my house. I probably made them sick with something I fed them,” he dejects, hanging his head down in shame.
“It’s all my fault, god I’m so stupid!” He beats himself up.
You have half the mind to snap at your ex-husband, anger already filling up inside you earlier when you heard Eunbyeol suggest it was something she ate at her dad’s house. You really did want to yell at him for being so bad of a chef that he sent his own daughters to the emergency pediatrics unit, undeniably relieved that Seonghwa was working tonight’s shift.
But those cruel words sitting on the tip of your tongue are thrown away when you glance down to see your ex-husband missing a shoe on one of his feet.
Hongjoong rushed over here so fast with Eunseo that he left his shoe behind like some sort of fairytale, Cinderella. He hasn’t even realized he wasn’t wearing one right now.
You exhaled, knowing that if there's one thing you’ve learned while parenting, it was that to have patience and understanding was a virtue. Even for your ex-husband.
“It’s not your fault,” you sighed, staring at your hands folded in your lap.
It feels awkward when Hongjoong stops tugging at his blond locks to look at you in surprise, continuing to speak as you place a gentle hand on his thigh.
“That could’ve happened to anyone. We don’t know yet if it was because of the food. Let’s just pray and wait and see” your voice being a sign of reliability to him.
The man is a little shocked at your supportive nature to tell you truthfully. He delivers all the things he needs to say through his grateful gaze alone, reciprocating a small smile.
“Didn’t think I’d see you guys tonight.” Seonghwa chuckles, walking in before Hongjoong has the chance to reply. He comes from the patient's room wearing his dashing, white doctor's coat. “Together, at that” he mumbles under his breath before looking up and flashing you a polite smile while giving his worried friend a soft pat on the back.
Hongjoong holds his breath when he asks: “How are they?”
“Better,” he tells him, flipping through some papers on his clipboard. “But it was a big shock to their bodies. They need some rest at the moment.”
The pediatrician tries not to show his smile, standing in front of you and Hongjoong while hiding his expression behind his clipboard as per his niece’s request.
To be fair, if someone had told Seonghwa earlier that evening that he would receive a fifteen minute pep talk from his best friend's twin daughters that day in the emergency unit, he would’ve laughed in their faces.
Alas, life was always filled with surprises. Here’s what went down thirty minutes earlier in the hospital room:
“We’re trying to get them back together,” Eunseo announced confidently, sitting next to her sister on the hospital bed.
Eunbyeol nodded, eyeing the dumbfounded medical professional standing in front of them with his clipboard tucked under his arm, hands in his pockets.
“So.. you guys don’t need an IV drip?”
“It’s this whole entire thing, Uncle Hwa, we’ll explain to you later.”
It took a minute before Seonghwa reclaimed his composure as an adult, chastising the twins for pulling a false alarm over something like this. He made sure to make them promise him they wouldn’t do something stupid like this again. But after that, of course Seonghwa is immediately pairing to help them with their plan on getting his best friend back together with his ex-wife. The man is just tired of watching Hongjoong beat himself up half the time about missing you.
“So you essentially want me to lie about the fact that you guys don’t have food poisoning, and were just faking this whole thing so your mom and dad would have a reason to see each other.”
The twins nod, one of them pointing out. “And make sure to tell them we’re fine of course. Maybe throw in we’re like, really sick, but that we’ll live so it’s best if we get rest.”
“At like a cottage or something” the other chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows at the hint.
The doctor sighs, scratching his neck sheepishly.
When Seonghwa leads you and Hongjoong into the hospital room, both of you feel awful seeing your babies laying in their beds, dressed in the children’s gowns.
Eunbyeol peeks open her eyes first, voice hoarse (she practiced).
“Mom? Dad? Is that you?” she groans, pretending to clutch her stomach in pain.
Both you and Hongjoong rush to each child, grasping their hands and stroking their heads softly with sympathy.
“Hey baby, I’m here” you coo.
“I’m so, so sorry girls, it was probably all my fault. I should’ve never cooked for you guys earlier today.” their dad cries out painfully, looking down in shame.
You come to stand beside him, reassuring them both. “But what’s important is that you guys get better now. We want to make sure you get the rest you need” you say, making eye contact with your ex-husband.
Seonghwa clears his throat, crossing his arms as he flashes a wink to the girls behind your backs.
“They seemed to have been mentally exhausted as well,” He asks on purpose, watching as you and Hongjoong share a look with each other. “Have they been receiving proper familial support at home?”
“I can’t even remember the last time I saw my parents in the same room together.” Eunseo weakly admits, showing a faint smile.
As parents, you and Joong feel the most amount of guilt anyone could ever feel. You realize how exhausting and stressful the pickups and drop offs to each other's houses could’ve been, especially when you two were so busy with your respective jobs to spend time with your daughters now that it was summer break for them.
Hongjoong smiles, holding both their hands and making a promise to them.
“Make sure to rest you two. Tell me, is there anything you guys need right now? Anything you guys want I'll make sure to get it for you.”
”Do you guys have crunchy ice?” Eunbyeol blurts out loud, breaking her weak facade.
Eunseo almost wants to shoot a glare at her sister but she realizes both of you are still looking at them.
“I can get you some ice!” Seonghwa quickly assures you and his nieces, mouthing to them good luck for support as he shuts the door behind him.
You sigh, coming over to stroke Eunseo’s hair and caress Eunbyeol’s hand.
“Well? Is there anything else you guys need from us?” Hongjoong states, eyes soft in sympathy. You nod, waiting to hear their response.
“Let us know girls, anything at all.”
Eunbyeol and Eunseo finally take their chance, sharing a hesitant look before speaking at the same time.
“We want to go to the cottage”
“Together,” Eunseo says.
“As a family.” Eunbyeol adds in.
You and Hongjoong share a silent look.
Later into the night, the twins are finally discharged from the hospital, deciding that they would stay at Hongjoong’s mothers apartment which was closest nearby, considering they were both tired and immediately needed a place to rest.
The car ride home is awkwardly silent, even as the kids are (what you think) to be fast asleep, hockey gear and a bouquet of flowers riding with them in the backseat.
It was at their request for you to drive them to their grandmother's house, wanting both their parents with them till the ride home. Hongjoong settled on driving your car and dropping all of you off, planning to take a taxi back home and pick up his own car in the morning. Despite your protest on how inconvenient that was, he insisted as he didn’t want to disappoint the twins.
But suddenly the man begins to regret his offer, currently driving in complete silence on the highway, eyes facing forward and shoulders tense. Quiet FM nightly jazz plays from the radio.
You’re sitting passenger seat up front with him in what feels like forever, looking solely at the reflections in the window, the street lamp lights scattering across your face as you travel through the nighttime traffic. It’s awkward being together like this.
You hear him clear his voice, speaking softly so he doesn’t wake up the girls.
“So, are we really considering that cottage retreat?” he glances back at you.
You sit up, straightening your back and exhaling as you secretly wanted to have avoided that topic of discussion.
“We can’t Hongjoong,” you reasoned, shaking your head. “I couldn’t possibly take a whole vacation from the dress shop. Not unless I had someone take care of it for me, which my staff probably aren’t ready to do.” you explained, voice tense.
Hongjoong nodded, understanding your point of view. “I realize that. I’ve got a few projects I have to record and demo with Eden.” he tells you, an arm placed on the wheel with his sleeve rolled up. His veins become perfectly outlined as he passionately tells you about his producing job.
He’s so hot like that.
Jesus what were you thinking? Cursing your mind as you clear your voice and try to change the topic.
“How’s everything been going then?” you say stiffly. He nods, still awkward with sharing conversation with you.
“Um, it's going good. You?” he asks.
“Fine.” you swallow.
Silence prevails. He’s first to speak again, building the courage to say the next thing in his mind.
“I’m willing to put things on hold if I need to.” He confesses.
Hongjoong continues to drive normally after having said that. Now it becomes your turn to stare at him now, watching how he glances at the side mirror, switching lanes swiftly like the pro-driver he was.
“What do you mean?”
“Honestly, I think it would be good for the girls,” he admits, calling you by your name. Even hearing him call you your name feels weird. It feels foreign, like it almost wasn’t yours.
“Hongjoong-” you warn, shaking your head at the warry possibility.
“Just hear me out, alright?” He states firmly, making you quiet.
He glances back into the rear view mirror, watching your girls peacefully asleep with their heads leaning against each other.
“It’s been almost seven years. Seven years since they’ve last seen their parents speak to each other without breaking into a fight. Tonight was the first time they saw us together without having to plan a drop off and pick up in god knows how long.”
Hongjoong licks his lips, gripping the wheel as he emphasizes. “Seven years since they’ve gotten a goodnight hug and kiss from us at the same time in one place.”
You scoff, turning to face him properly this time. “I don’t know why you’re acting as though we can make this request of theirs come true Hongjoong. This is a big deal-”
“It is a big deal!” he exclaims, trying to get his point across. “I can see how badly our daughters want us to both be in their lives more, to acknowledge the fact that the other still exists after splitting apart.”
He sighs. “Us, not acknowledging each other’s existence at all is worse than if we had to see each other regularly.”
You bite your lip, getting angry. “So what Hongjoong? You’re saying you want to suddenly play family with them at the cottage?”
You shrug your shoulders. “Do you really think we can pretend to be normal parents to them without fighting like we are now? There’s a reason why our current schedules work. Don’t make me seem like the bad guy for not wanting to take them.” You glared, pointing a finger at him. His jaw locks.
“You fully knew the lifestyle changes we would need to make as a couple when you signed those legal papers—”
“Well then did you also predict everything that happened after you brought me those papers?” He spits like venom, gaze hard as he clenches the wheel.
You blink your eyes at his words, pressing your knees together at his sudden attack.
You don’t remember clearly if you even meant what you said at the time when you threw those papers at him seven years ago. But all you still know is that Hongjoong was just as stubborn as you were, making up his mind to sign them in the end regardless.
Looking in the rear view mirror, you muttered to him quietly.
“Don’t raise your voice. The kids are sleeping.”
Their dad scoffs, muttering a sure, under his breath as he switches lanes.
The kids were in fact, not sleeping, and very much awake. Eyes closed but ears wide, as they were listening in to the first real discussion their parents were having in so long. Or perhaps it was an argument?
At the right turn into his mother’s apartment’s underground parking lot, Hongjoong shuts off the engine, getting out of the car without another word and shutting the door in your face.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, hear the back door open.
You watch in the corner of your vision as his demeanor immediately changes, softly caressing Eunseo and Eunbyeol’s hair.
“Hey girls, we’re here now. You gotta wake up.” He coos.
They yawn theatrically, pretending to stretch their arms.
“So soon?” Eunbyeol mumbles.
A few feet ahead, you see your mother in law walking out from the elevators, a knit cardigan wrapped around her small frame. You smiled, getting out of the car and greeting her first.
“We’ll leave Eunbyeol’s hockey gear with you for the night if that’s alright Mom-”
Hongjoong’s words are cut off as the woman who birthed him walks straight past him, ignoring him and immediately taking you in her warm embrace, eyes forming crescent moons.
“How are you my dear?” she asks, causing you to smile and hug your mother in law affectionately. “It’s been so long, I’ve missed you so much!”
Despite the break up between you and Hongjoong, you were thankful for one thing, and that was the fact that your relationship with Hongjoong’s family stayed strong, especially with Mrs. Kim.
“I’ve missed you too” you tell her genuinely. “I’ve been good, I’m just sorry for dropping them off so suddenly at your place,” You say, feeling apologetic for waking her up late into the night.
“We had a bit of a situation,” you explain, watching as Hongjoong collects their things.
She shakes her head, reassuring you. “Nonsense! Why would you be sorry for that.” she grins, turning her head at the car. “And where are my girls, may I ask?”
At the sound of her voice, Eunbyeol and Eunseo dash out from the back seat and into their grandmother's welcoming arms, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks.
Hongjoong is the only person that stands all alone, awkwardly holding the bouquet of flowers with heavy hockey gear and a duffle bag perched on his shoulder.
“Oh, how I’ve missed my little squirrels!” she exclaims using their signature pet name and happily reuniting with her grandchildren.
She turns her head, face falling at the sight of her son and lips pursing into a frown.
“And where on earth have you been? Not giving me a call!” she snaps, slapping her son on his back. Eunbyeol laughs out loud while Eunseo tries to keep her giggles in.
You hear your ex husband protest to her while you close the back seat door.
“OW! I’ve been busy alright?” he mumbles, massaging his sore arm.
Your mother in law takes both the twins hand’s on each side, nodding her head to you.
“Leave all the kid’s stuff to Hongjoong, he’ll take care of it darling” she smiles sweetly, sending a glare to her son to take a hint and be more of a gentleman to you. She walks away with her smiling granddaughters, exchanging light-hearted giggles and excitement. “Bye, mom!” The twins wave back.
Hongjoong cranes his head up, sighing at the ceiling before taking Eunseo’s piano bag that you were holding in your hand in one swift motion, walking reluctantly behind the three.
“Stay here. I’ll drop them off.” he briskly walks away, leaving you stunned.
Hongjoongs words from before can’t help but replay inside your head as you wait for him to come back down.
Before you guessed it, it was already the ride back home, and the car was painfully silent once again. In reality, you were each thinking deeply to yourselves about the possibility of the cottage retreat. Could you really be a mom and dad together as a couple to your kids?
“Are you giving your plants enough water?” He brings you out of thought, the car slowing down as he turns onto your street.
You look up, giving him a confused look.
Hongjoong nods in direction, following his eyes to look at the measly, dying flower pot perched on the steps of your flat’s entrance as the car stopped to a halt. “You know, it’s really hard for plants to die when they’re outside.” He says in amazement at your shit gardening.
You scowl at him, asking him when he became such a plant expert all of a sudden.
He continues to poke fun at you, smirking when he undoes his seat belt. Hongjoong suddenly leans over to help you unbuckle your own, face dangerously close to yours as he lowers his voice.
“Unless their owner just really sucks at taking care of them.”
His eyes gaze into yours for a split second, feeling your face heat up from the proximity. You let out a tiny gasp for air when he leans back in his own seat.
“Fuck off” you replied harshly.
“You should give them some more care,” he suggests, ignoring your swearing.
You don’t reply to his stupid comment, refusing to look at him as you get out of the car.
“I can go in by myself” you press, adjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder. You didn’t think it was necessary to draw out your time with this man any further.
Hongjoong straightens his dress shirt as he moves to your side of the car, shoving his own car keys in his trousers as he locks your doors and hands over the keys. You take them hesitantly, watching as he rests against the car door, strong arms crossing against his chest.
“Think about it at least.” he mutters to you.
You look at him, eyes shutting softly when you realize he was still talking about the cottage getaway. Sighing his name is exasperation, you run a hand through your hair.
“Hongjoong-”
“Would it kill you to spend a week with me and our daughters?” He scoffs as he asks you straight up, looking at you in a way that makes you hesitate to say your next words. You observed one hand come to shuffle with the silver lighter in his trouser pockets.
You stayed silent for a moment, genuinely thinking back to your daughters and what this meant to them if you went. What this would mean for you two as well.
Finally, you look up to him, returning his gaze.
“I need time.”
He nods, face serious. “I understand.”
“Let me think about it.” You mumbled.
And with that you turn around, walking up the steps to your front door. At the sight of your flowerpot, you quickly remember his comment and snatch it in your hands, slamming the door shut to Hongjoong as he finally lets a soft grin break out on his face. Letting his back come up from leaning against the door, Hongjoong nods his head, satisfied enough at that answer, as he walks silently down the road while opening his Uber app.
At least you’d give it some thought.
Okay, maybe now you’ve given it too much thought.
Sipping your fifth glass of wine of the night, you’re sitting, back hunched over with your knees tucked into your chest on the breakfast table chair, zoning out as your best friend Sophie continues barking at you and your inconsistent commitment.
“I don’t even understand why you’re considering going! Does the man realize what it takes to leave your own shop for a full week?” she fumes, adjusting her royal jelly sheet mask while cursing at your ex-husband for pressuring you into going to the family retreat.
“Not everyone can just pack their bags and go swimming at the cottage, Jesus Christ” she rolls her eyes.
“He didn’t pressure me,” you told her pouting. “He wants to do it for the kids” you mumbled looking down as you defended him.
You invited your best friend Sophie over to your apartment that evening for your weekly slumber party, a time you each looked forward to dedicating a bottle of wine and chardonnay over some gossip, spilling all the uneventful drama in your lives.
Perhaps you revealed too much drama to your best friend tonight.
“I don’t think I would mind going, to be honest” you hiccup, words slurring. “I haven’t had a vacation in so long, Sophie, and the girls really want to go! I would feel bad for leaving them with nothing to do this summer.” confessing through the alcohol.
Cheeks flushed, you sigh as you play with your silk robe mindlessly while Sophie shakes her head at you, one hand coming up to snap at you and bring you back to reality.
“Hello? Earth to Ms. Divorcee?” She sighs, rolling her eyes in frustration. “You said you wanted to set boundaries with him! To cut the line straight and keep your distance so you could get over your feelings for him! Show him who’s boss!”
“He said he’s willing to put his music projects on hold for us,” you muttered quietly, the thought making your heart weak as you smiled at the memory of Hongjoong teasing you about your flower pot. Your chest blossomed with warmth now.
Sophie sighs, shaking her head as she thinks just how differently you were feeling four wine glasses ago.
“Listen, honey, I’m just warning you in advance” she sips the golden liquid in her glass before placing it on the table.
“Take it from a girl who’s had three divorces. I mean look at me! I’m still somewhat young, I’ve got no kids, no responsibilities, filthily rich, and not once have I had to pay for my own divorce settlement fees!”
You nod mindlessly, eyes blinking softly under the bright kitchen lights.
“What you need is a provider, sweetheart,” she crooned, caressing your head.
“A guy who won’t leave you stressed and unimpressed like Hongjoong does.”
You continue mindlessly nodding your head at her words, ears perking up when you hear small footsteps come down the stairs.
“Hi mom, Hi aunt Sophie.” Eunbyeol greets, eyes glued to her iPad that Eunseo trails after from behind, whining how it was now her turn to play Super Mario.
“Hi girls,” Sophie replies like the cool, hot aunt she is, eyes shut as she’s concentrating on giving herself a collarbone massage right now.
“Hey sweetheart,” you mumbled, smiling at your daughters standing near the fridge getting a glass of water.
“Say, did your dad tell you guys anything about the cottage?” You blurt out loud, avoiding the look that Sophie gives you. Eunbyeol looks up from the glowing screen, ears perking in interest. “No, not much, why?”
Eunseo snatches the iPad from her twin, coming over to you. “Did Dad say we’re going?” She asks enthusiastically, eyes widening. Sophie is quick to assure them.
“Now of course not girls, your mother here was just-”
“Oh fuck it, why not?” you say confidentially, shining a bright smile. “Let’s go to the cottage!” You exclaimed in drunk excitement, all three girls staring at you with their jaws hanging at your sudden profanity as well as your final decision.
Oh, how dangerous the effects of a bottle of wine were.
Eunseo and Eunbyeol immediately embrace each other in a passionate hug, squealing in excitement that their plan actually worked. You and Hongjoong were now both convinced. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to go as a family!” They cried in happiness. You giggled at their joy, reciprocating their enthusiasm.
Sophie leans back in her seat defeated, shaking her head with pursed lips as she picks up the whole Chardonnay bottle and sips it.
“Oh whatever. . . This isn’t my problem anyways.”
When Hongjoong drops by the next morning to pick up Eunbyeol and Eunseo from your house for the weekend, he can’t lie but be a little heartbroken at the way his daughters ignore his kiss to them first thing. They instead, immediately shove the cottage advertising pamphlet in his face with victorious grins.
“See! We told you mom would say yes!”
“Say yes to what?” He pouts, avoiding the paper and obsessively trying to peck a kiss to each of his daughter's cheeks. The idea of going to the cottage almost slipped the busy man’s mind after almost a week of no news from you.
“What’s so important that you guys don’t even say hi to me anymore?” he sulks.
Eunseo giggles, fighting back her laughter when her dad tries to tickle her with his kisses.
“We’re going to the cottage!”
Hongjoong stills himself, leaning back to make sure he heard her correctly.
“We’re what?”
Eunbyeol, taking after her mother, has a cheeky expression on her face as she places her hands on her hips and sasses her father.
“Pack your bags and swimming shorts, daddy, we’re going on a family vacation!”
In perfect timing, you manage to stumble out your front door, coffee mug in hand and mid-yawn when you realize Hongjoong is already staring at you in shock.
“What?” you snap, still grumpy from your slight hangover. “You’ve never seen a woman wake up before?” You replied, asking your kids if they packed all their stuff.
The twins watch as their dad stands up from his crouched position.
“You’re going to go to the cottage?”
At Hongjoongs words you freeze, everything coming back to you all at once. The wine, the twins, the promises, it hits you like a moving truck.
“Well…”
“No take backs mom! You said it yourself last night that you were excited to go to the cottage!” One of the twins pointed out.
Hongjoong doesn’t take his eyes off of you.
“I-I did say that, didn’t I?” You chuckled sheepishly, toes curling at the rookie mistake you made in parenting 101: saying yes when you should’ve said no.
Your ex-husband quickly tells the kids to put their things in the trunk, promising he’ll be right with them after talking to you. As Hongjoong dashes up the stairs in his white polo golf shirt, you feel slightly exposed being in only your silk slip dress and robe.
“I didn’t realize you’d be here so early” you mumbled, looking down at your toes.
He ignores you. “So I’m guessing we’re going then?” He smirks, looking at you with an expression of undeniable cockiness and peaked interest.
You shrug nonchalantly. “Let’s surround the focus of this trip towards the kids” you remind him, straightening your back.
Hongjoong nods, agreeing with you wholeheartedly. “Of course, that was my intention from the beginning,” he smiles.
You swallow the lump in your throat, unnoticing his stare drop at your breasts perking up from the cool morning air. You jump in surprise as you hear the honking of the car.
“Come on, love birds! We gotta go back to dad’s to get our swimming stuff!” Eunbyeol cackles, leaning from the backseat into the driver's seat window. Eunseo already begins journaling in her hello kitty note book, an organized list of what she’ll need to bring to the cottage.
Hongjoong looks back at his daughters, before looking back at you with a smile.
“Let’s keep in touch about details, alright?”
You nod silently, gripping your mug. At the sound of your nextdoor neighbor coming out, Hongjoong contemplates for a moment before quickly leaning forward, shielding you from their view with his backside. Clearing his throat, Hongjoong nods his head to the inside of your house, leaning forward to whisper to you.
“Think, um, you should get inside, it’s getting cold,” he mutters, his dimples faintly showing. You glare up at him, “I’m going to say goodbye to my own daughters”. Still clueless to what he was referring to. He grins, shrugging his shoulders before looking at you.
“If you insist. Just thought you wouldn’t want your neighbor to see what I can see, would you?”
You gasp at his words, looking down at your chest to see what he means before wrapping your robe around you. You quickly waved goodbye to your girls before you shut the door in Hongjoong’s smug face.
It’s now become the second time you’ve done that.
Thankfully, the next time you see Hongjoong you’re wearing a much more appropriate outfit. In a white cotton blouse and casual jean shorts, your effortlessly chic vacation outfit was the only highlight today, considering the day you had been internally dreading for so long was finally here.
You tried to take deep breaths while scurrying all over your house and finishing some last minute packing. Reassuring yourself that a family getaway couldn’t kill you.
Right?
Reservations at the cottage were made over the phone last week, booking a house with the perfect lake side view, access to the forest trail and close proximity to the offered activities. It would only be a seven day stay, both in your respective rooms, (you clearly emphasized you and Hongjoong had to have separate ones) while the twins would lodge together. You had no intention of interacting with your husband alone together on this trip, apart from the quote on quote, ‘family bonding times’ you promised your daughters. And yet why were you here sweating nervously like a sinner in church?
“What a hot lady!” Eunbyeol wolf-whistles at your outfit when she walks through your bedroom doors. You jump at the sudden entrance, realizing Hongjoong was already here to pick you up with the girls.
A pair of black designer sunglasses slightly too big for her sat perched on her nose. Eunbyeol smiles before jumping onto your bed of clothes. You already know Hongjoong must’ve spoiled her and her sister with those, buying them a pair each.
“C’mon Byeol, off the bed” you quipped, packing your toothbrush as she reluctantly slugged off the covers.
Your suspicions of Hongjoong buying them designer items are correct when Eunseo walks in, classily perching her matching white ones on her head before chastising her sister's tasteless compliment.
“Elegant. She’s Elegant, Byeol. You don’t just go around wolf-whistling at people.” she rolls her eyes.
“You look very pretty by the way, mom”
You smiled, nevertheless pleased at both their compliments and thanking them before going back to doing a last minute check of your things.
Sun cream, clothes, makeup bag, swimsuit…
At the thought of your swimsuit you immediately blush, thinking back to how Sophie forced you to borrow her yellow bikini that left very little to the imagination. Despite your protests that you wouldn’t be needing it, she insisted.
Hongjoong is last to walk through your front doors, swinging his car keys around his index finger and calling to his three girls from the downstairs foyer of your apartment. The man is clearly excited for the trip, he can’t lie.
“Come on ladies, we’re gonna miss the chance to swim in that lake if we don't leave soon!”
Hongjoong is your typical dad, except for the fact that he does not mess with dad!fashion. The producer is dressed classily from top to bottom in a loose-fitting designer button up with a pair of reformed denim pants, his pearl earrings and gold piercings complementing his outfit perfectly.
Kim Hongjoong didn't play when it came to fashion. Even as a father.
“Coming!” You exclaimed, ushering your kids out of your bedroom and making your way down the stairs with your suitcase. Seeing that it would only be a week at the cottage, you tried to pack light, though you may have to reconsider that thought with the way you struggled to lift the case properly.
“Need some help?”
A strong hand comes to help you, immediately inhaling the scent of Hongjoong’s cologne as he brushes his knuckles near yours. “Here, I’ve got it” he assures, making you step back and admire your undeniably fine husband.
Ex-husband. You meant Ex-husband. Scratch out the fine as well.
You watch from behind as he struts out the foyer, smiling and joking playfully with his twin daughters, carrying your luggage out the door with them.
What was this trip doing to you?
Once you’re on route to the cottage resort and the GPS is set, the car is blissfully quiet, each and every one of you surprisingly at peace. Jittery excitement still lays deep in your daughters' minds as you overhear them talk about what they want to do first once they arrive.
Hongjoong’s 2000s soft rock and ballad playlist is playing quietly throughout the speakers right now, relishing in the music as luscious, green trees flash by you from the passenger window.
While Byeol and Eunseo distract each other on their own, Hongjoong turns to talk to you.
“I’m not going to lie, it’s been forever since I’ve been on a road trip” he smiles.
You copy him, feeling good in the moment. “Same, I don’t remember the last time I went to one.” you confessed, thinking only of all the times you had in the past when you were a child and as a teenager.
Even back to when you were a young college student, wide eyed and so innocent to the chaos of your first college retreat with Hongjoong. That was the summer you two began dating, and boy were you fools in love. You cautiously look to your husband driving, bringing up past memories.
“Do you remember that one college retreat we went on during second year?”
The corners of Hongjoong’s lips are already grinning upwards, smiling as he reciprocates your expression.
“Right, like I could forget that summer” he replies sarcastically, gripping the steering wheel.
It’s an easy memory to digest. A time when you were both so young, filled with nothing but dreams and passionate love for one another. Love so deep, that you remember the nights you’d spend locked up with Hongjoong under the sweaty bed sheets inside your cabin, blissfully making love until the sun would rise and he would finally kiss you to sleep. Perhaps, it was that summer when you realized you were going to marry and be with Kim Hongjoong forever someday.
Though it’s too bad, someday already passed.
“Do you remember when Seonghwa got so drunk he ended up confessing to Jieun in front of all the girl’s sleeping cabins?” Hongjoong snickers, relishing in the embarrassing memory his friend always hates him for bringing up. You laugh out loud, remembering the memory. “Oh my god, yes!” You turned to face him, shaking your head. “In nothing but his underwear, right?”
Hongjoong nodded, smiling with one hand on the steering wheel as he drove.
“Didn’t he end up jumping into the lake afterwards? With you having to go in and save him as well?” You share your laughter with one another, catching up on past memories as your twin daughters listened attentively in the back, reliving them with you together.
That's what makes the hour and half drive from the city into the wilderness feel so short, finally pulling into the graveled parking lot of the vast cottage resort. White suburban cottages lined along one another, a good amount of distance in between each for every family staying.
As Hongjoong parked the car, the view outside was so glorious you had to hold your breath. Glistening clear blue waves in the lake reflect the bright sunshine from above. A light breeze is present today with the way the willow and oak trees swayed gently.
“It’s beautiful” you gasped from as far as you got out of the car, stretching your upper body with eyes closed as you inhaled the fresh air.
Hongjoong stills his movements, shutting the door before replying with his gaze caught at your backside.
“Yeah, it is” he smiles.
Both of you turn around at a loud voice coming from behind. “We’re gonna explore the campsites and souvenir shops first!” Eunbyeol shouts as she runs away with her sister's hand in hers, towards the wooden cabin that's settled further away.
“What about lunch?” you call to them.
“We’re not hungry!”
Hongjoong tells them to be safe, and to stick around nearby. You smirked, helping him unload the trunk as you told him. “They’ll be fine. They’re probably too excited to even think right now” you giggled, bumping shoulders with him.
You feel the tension that was once so strong between you two fade slowly, walking up the wooden steps of your lodge and exchanging conversation with each other.
“Hey, I just want my babies to be safe” he admits, a grin on his face as he holds the cooler in his hands. You chuckle, shaking your head at his protectiveness.
“Here it is!” he exclaims, setting the suitcases in the front foyer as he opens the door. “Lodge number 1117”
The two story cottage is larger than it appears from the outside, having a modern yet rustic interior that you and Hongjoong admired. It had everything you would need, from a well designed kitchen area to a cozy living room space.
“It’s perfect, the kids will love it” you beam, looking at the hanging hammock chair in the corner of the living room and the gray stone fireplace. It fit perfectly for your family.
Hongjoong smiles, sunglasses perched on top of his head as he sets the luggage down near the kitchen. Walking up beside him, you help him unload the cooler and ice boxes first, settling into your new home for the next few days.
“I’m guessing you still drink?” you ask, looking in his direction as you unloaded the case of beer you saw him bring from the trunk.
He gestured to the booze. “C’mon, it wouldn’t be a vacation without it, would it?”
You wholeheartedly agreed, placing a few in the fridge before you shut it closed.
“Hopefully, this time we won’t end up shit faced like we did back in college” you laugh, turning to face him.
“I can already picture that time we got so drunk from that bottle of tequila my friend brought, we snuck out of the campsite and went to the forest and got lost.” you spoke, the memory a little foggy but nonetheless fresh in your mind.
Hongjoong smiles, listening as you speak.
“There wasn’t anything but trees and bushes in that forest!” You exclaimed, shaking your head. “What did we even do there?”
Hongjoong replies nonchalantly, folding the cardboard box in his hands.
“I’m pretty sure we fucked.”
You momentarily freeze at his words, before letting out a soft awkward laugh, causing him to look up.
“No we didn’t, Hongjoong” you immediately deny, not believing his words. But your brows began furrowing at the foggy memory, starting to realize you really couldn’t trust your alcohol tolerance, now as an adult and even back when you were a college student. Did you guys have sex? In a forest out of all places?
Hongjoong leans against the kitchen counter, across from you as he crosses his arms in front of his chest and smirks smugly.
“Nope, I distinctly remember it” he recalls, taking a step closer so he was now in your space.
“I held your hand in mind as we walked up that trail by the cliff. And gosh, were we horny that night, because I remember you complaining about all that dirt you got on your knees from giving me the greatest head i've ever experienced in my entire life-”
Slapping your hands over his mouth to stop him from going on, you blushed as you glared at him.
“Jesus christ,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before confessing.
“I get it, we fucked.”
Suddenly, you and Hongjoong break out into giggles like varsity sweethearts again at the story. Though embarrassed and cringing internally from the way you acted as young adults, it was nice to share them together now. At the proximity in which you’re standing in, you can't help but stare at each other softly. A hand wraps around your waist, making your breath hitch as he pulls you closer.
“What are you doing?” you grin, watching him.
He looms over you, able to tell that something sits right at the tip of his tongue that he hesitantly decides to say. “I’m pretty sure,” he mutters, staring at your face and cautiously grazing the skin under your blouse. You feel your breathing speed up.
“I also held you like this in my arms as you were leaning against that tree” his grip gentle and immediately transporting you back to the scenery that night. His sharp tone contrasts his touch.
“Yknow, the one we fucked against?” he teases to you one more time.
The scent of burning campfire. A cold, midnight breeze. The feeling of the rough cedar tree against your back as Hongjoong thrusted inside you with every delirious snap of his hips, holding you close while he fucked you to oblivion with only the forest animals standing witness to your sinful actions. The film replays like a cheesy R-rated romance movie in your mind.
“Did you, now?” You gulp, looking up at him as you adjust to the foreign feeling of his touch on your hips.
“Yeah. I remember it all” he states, smirking down at you with an intense gaze.
The memory dies down when you catch yourself staring at his lips, arms finding their way around his neck as he dives down to whisper softly to you.
“Do you remember too?” He asks.
How he held you in his arms. How he whispered in your ear while you came around his cock, drool and traces of cum littering the corners of your mouth while Hongjoong didn’t care if you were stretching his flannel from how hard you were tugging at the material.
You nod. “I do,” you muttered, lashes fluttering as you felt as though your heart wouldn’t stop beating. “I remember you kissed me on the lips,” you confessed.
Perhaps you wanted him to do it again right now.
He looks in your eyes, searching for your approval that you desperately give, breath hitting each other's faces as he slowly leaned down to try and connect your lips. His chest is pressed against yours, and you begin to realize you haven’t shared the same breath like that in so long. You were so close to kissing right then and there.
If only you leaned in closer…
“We’re back!”
You push Hongjoong across the kitchen, shoving his hip painfully into the marble counter and ignoring his high-pitched groan of agony as you immediately look away to avoid suspicion, continuing to grab the beer from the icebox in front of you.
“Girls!” you exclaimed, voice wavering.
Of course, Eunbyeol and Eunseo walk in with matching postcards and goodies from the souvenir shop in their hands, their sunglasses perched on their heads as their eyes lit up with excitement. They were still oblivious to the fact that they almost caught their parents about to make out in the kitchen.
“Dad, this place is amazing!” Eunbyeol deadpans, telling her father. “They even have jet skiing on the other side of the lake! We gotta go now!”
Hongjoong clutches his hip, pursing his lips as he hides his expression of pain and surprise.
“Really? That's great sweetie”
Eunseo however, is quick to catch on.
“What were you guys doing?” she looks at you suspiciously. Her words hang in the air for a moment.
“Were you guys about to kis-”
Hongjoong and you frantically scurry to find a plausible excuse, shuffling awkwardly.
“I was helping your dad unload the cooler”
“I was helping your mom get something out of her eye”
Both girls stare at you meekly. Eunbyeol scrunches her nose. “Huh?”
Plastering on a fake smile, you briskly leaped over the luggage nearby, ushering them upstairs before they had the chance to ask anymore questions.
“I think it’s time to unpack your things.” you watched their eyebrows quirk at the way you pushed them out the kitchen.
“We can do it on our own, mom! It’s really no big d-”
You clamp Eunbyeol’s mouth shut with your hand, blushing profusely as you walk away with them.
Hongjoong stands there alone in the kitchen, rubbing his hip and wondering what the hell just almost happened.
The next few days, you and Hongjoong don’t discuss the incident between you two. Rather, the beginning of the trip after that event has become a painful performance trying your best to be eerily polite yet distant to each other in front of your children, as if that would make you forget the fact that you two almost kissed in the kitchen.
“Could you pass the sunscreen, honey?” Hongjoong would say awkwardly, turning his back to flash you a cheery smile on the lake deck as Eunbyeol and Eunseo watched you interact while floating in the cool, summer waters.
You passed the bottle to your ex-husband while maintaining awkward distance. “Of course, darling!”
“Thanks honey!”
“No problem sweetheart!”
This resulted in Eunbyeol and Eunseo looking at their parents in horror, the youngest twin muttering under her breath as they discussed an urgent change of plans.
“We have to get them to stop being weird.”
Apart from that, the ‘family bonding time’ promise to your daughters was maintained, and each day was an adventure for all of you in terms of what you would do together next. An accumulation of forest trekking, water-skiing and outdoors barbeques on the patio of your cottage made everyday feel more and more special for your girls, seeing how they relished in having both their parents with them at the same place and time. It became moments of peace and resolution that eventually became special for you and Hongjoong too.
“I hope we stay here forever,” Eunseo blurted out one evening after a blissful day near the lakeshore, watching as the sun began to go down. She was busy licking the sticky sides of her melting ice cream cone in one hand, the other one held in yours.
Hongjoong and Eunbyeol were a few feet ahead, laughing loudly and holding hands as they compared their fruit popsicles with one another to see whose was bigger.
“You and Byeol would eventually get sick of going to the lake all the time” You smiled, the corners of your mouth turning up before her next words made the strings of your heart tug.
“Sure, but at least you and dad could be together with us too.”
You watched as she ran up to her sister and dad, joining in on their fun as she began boasting that her ice cream was better than theirs. Hongjoong’s smile is the biggest you’ve ever seen it to be, looking down at his girls with a golden tan from the past few days spent outside, and hair slightly damp from swimming.
Any person could tell the love in his eyes was as pure a father’s love for his girls could be.
Her words stuck with you until that very night, where after dinner, board games, and much pacing back and forth in your own room before getting into bed, you decided to cautiously approach Hongjoong’s room on the opposite side of the second floor.
Bare feet padded across the wooden floors as you peeked through the sliver of the open door.
He's wearing an oversized sleep tee and blue pajama pants, getting in some nighttime reading before bed. His glasses are perched on his nose, intently reading his paperback novel. He looks as domestic as a husband gets.
At the sound of your steps though, he sits up from his relaxed state on his bed, one arm that was supporting his head coming out as the other hand settles the book down on his abdomen. He looks surprised to see you.
“Hi” he states, looking at you.
“Hey”
Hongjoong’s expression immediately softened at your figure, watching as you shuffled awkwardly in front of him. The room is quiet.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course,” He nods, setting his bookmark in the spine of the cover and turning his attention to you, offering you to take a seat on his linen covers. You see his polaroid camera with photos taken of Eunbyeol and Eunseo perched on a desk nearby.
You don’t see the ones he secretly took of you, as those are in his drawers.
“Don’t tell me you can’t sleep by yourself” he gently teases before watching as your smile doesn't reach the ends of your eyes. You wrap your silk robe closer to your body, feeling sort of vulnerable.
“How do you like the resort so far?” He asks, watching as you played with your fingers absentmindedly. “Is the room okay?”
“It’s wonderful Hongjoong, better than I could ever have hoped for.” You spoke up, telling the truth.
It’s hard to arrange your thoughts in your head when it’s just the two of you in his room. The kids were already fast asleep. Now was your chance to just tell him how you felt. Why were you hesitating so much?
“Hey, look at me.” Hongjoong’s soft voice calls out to you, a protective hand coming out to caress the back of your head in habit. He can tell you want to say something, and the gesture makes you emotional, remembering how he always used to do that to ease your nerves when you were younger.
“What’s wrong? Am I making things uncomfortable on the trip?” he worries about the boundaries you established with him at the beginning, watching as your lip begins to quiver and the emotions suddenly overcome you.
“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” you sniffled, tears forming near the brim of your eyes as you looked up at the father of your children.
Hongjoong’s eyes widened, shifting through the covers over to you. “Woah, hey, shh that’s alright I got you” he coos, immediately going into dad mode and embracing you in his arms, letting your head rest against his chest.
The action is natural, no longer foreign or weird, and you silently thank him for leaving reassuring circles on your back. Husband or not, Hongjoong would always be your best friend first. You had forgotten how much you missed this comforting side to him.
“Tell me what you’re sorry about” he states, chest tightening at your wet cheeks before he slowly raises your chin to look him in the eyes.
“For being mean to you for so long” you sniffle, a weakened state of emotional guilt eating away at you. You let him watch you carefully.
“I’ve been thinking about how happy the girls have been during this trip. A-And it kills me that we’ve been fighting for the past seven years, and that they’ve grown up seeing such bad parts of ourselves, of my own self” you ramble, confessing how you felt.
You look up. “They’re happy because we’re together Joong. Because we’re not fighting or avoiding each other like we used to do before.”
He watches as you look up at him with tears forming in your eyes.
“You’re such a good dad. And I realized you deserve to hear that.”
At the sounds of more sniffles, Hongjoong finally speaks, smiling as he brushes stray hair from your face.
“I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to be the mother of our children, I hope you know that”
His truthfulness throws you off guard.
“I’m sorry too” he sighs, letting you sit up straight and look him in the eyes properly. “I haven’t been the best partner either, baby. We were both mean to each other.” he says, brushing a tear away from your face.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve thrown a hair dryer at me once before as well” he attempts to make you laugh, affection blooming in his chest when he sees he succeeds, wiping your tears.
“But I already knew how you felt, sweetheart. I always know” he smiles, eyes mirroring a weak ache in his heart.
“Married or not, we were once friends. And now we’re family” His voice turns deep, strong and dependable like the father he’s become.
“We can start over” you tell him, smiling as he folds his hands over your palm. “We can always do better from now and going forward. For ourselves, and for Eunseo and Eunbyeol.”
Hongjoong nods, hesitantly for a split second before he leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek, showing a gesture of affection that you longed for so long.
You shut your eyes, the kiss making your heart flutter.
“Friends again?” He whispers, though silently wanting something more.
You sighed, pulling him in closer to embrace in a hug. “Friends” you nodded while inhaling his comforting scent.
The next morning, and for the rest of the remaining trip onwards, you and Hongjoong’s relationship dynamics did the equivalent of a 180 degree turn.
It’s hard to believe you two really just wanted to be ‘friends’
Eunbyeol and Eunseo could tell by the way you talked to each other more, noticing you share more secret glances and fleeting touches that were innocent to the eye, but concealing a longing that you both tried to hide. You knew you couldn’t get carried away. You and Hongjoong were simply resolving a rough patch in your parenting. Not getting back together in a relationship.
But after spending more time together while Eunbyeol and Eunseo became occupied on their own, it was hard keeping the interactions to a justified amount. Long walks in the forest, evenings spent cooking together, even cuddling together on the couch during family movie night. Thinking your kids were too busy watching the vintage Disney movie play on screen, when in fact, the real love story they were more invested in was happening right in front of their eyes, watching their parents falling in love again.
This led to the last event in their plan that they hoped would finally seal the deal.
On Saturday night, the last night of your trip before you had to go back to the city, you and Hongjoong are surprised to find mini invitations left on your beds, scribbled in glitter pen and cursive handwriting reading out the following:
Gourmet Dinner Date for 2
Time: 7:30 pm
Location: Outdoor patio
Dress code: Formal and Classy
You and your husband chuckled at the cards left on your beds, suddenly finding a twin each by your side and ushering you to get ready.
“Do you and your sister even know how to cook dinner, Eunbyeol?” You questioned as your daughter rushed to push you into your walk-in closet, forcing you to get ready.
She huffs, placing her hands on her hips looking offended.
“At least my cooking skills don’t take after Dad’s, mom.” She mumbled, choosing your shoes for you. “Have some trust in a girl!”
Meanwhile, Hongjoong gets pampered by Eunseo in the other room, though in reality, her blunt critiques on her dads fashion are bruising his pride at the moment.
“Dad, you have many normal clothes to wear. You have to chill with the ripped baggy jeans.” she demands, trudging through his closet to find something formal for him to wear.
He begins to protest but his daughter shakes her head. “You’re supposed to look good for mom!” she huffs, searching on her own. At Eunseo’s words, the man starts to slightly worry, scratching the back of his head.
“You and Byeol are gonna join too, right?”
She stops for a second, looking back to her father as she avoids the question and instead retorts back.
“It’s just a date, Dad. Relax”
Back to what was happening in the other room at the end of the hallway, you huffed in frustration when you walked back into your closet after Byeol rejected another one of your outfits for the dinner date.
“I have nothing else to wear, sweetie, these are all the clothes I have.” you came to terms with a hand coming to your forehead after having searched in despair.
The ten year old shakes her head before pushing you out of the way and digging deep into your suitcase. She reveals a delicate piece of material you didn’t even realize you packed.
“We got some help from Aunt Sophie and Uncle Hwa to pack you guys clothes that you could wear for a special occasion.” she wiggles her eyebrows, a smug grin on her face as you gap in shock.
You inspect the dress, lips parting in disbelief as you feel the material.
“I haven’t worn this since I was in college.” You uttered softly to yourself.
At one longing look of the short dress, you shake your head, walking back into the closet to find something else. “I-I can’t wear this Byeol, what would your dad think?“ you asked nervously.
“Dad said he thinks your boobs looked hot in this dress so Aunt Sophie and I picked it specially” she looks up at you, proud of what she just said.
You whip your head around, mouth hanging open in shock.
“Byeol! Where did you hear that from?”
She sighs. “Dad had one too many drinks this one time and started talking about you guys back in college” she explained before shoving the infamous black dress in your hands.
“Talked a lot about how pretty you were,” she draws out her words in a teasing voice. You curse your husband for his mistake.
You bite your lip as you stare down at the fabric in your hands.
It was undeniable. You knew you looked amazing in this dress. You could testify from the amount of times Hongjoong ripped it off of you after countless night out’s filled with sexual tension and playful flirting. For god's sake, Eunbyeol and Eunseo could’ve almost had another sibling thanks to that dress.
“Fine.” you muttered bashfully, turning away as you walked into the closet to change.
“But I’m just gonna try it on.”
Thirty minutes, one mental breakdown and too many outfit changes to count later, you walk down the stairs wearing the dress Eunbyeol had successfully persuaded you to wear.
What do you know, the kid was right. Your boobs looked amazing in that dress.
Not just your boobs, your whole body looked incredible with its strong curves and the beautiful fill it gave to the dress, making it slightly tighter than when you wore it as a twenty year old, but still all the more mature and sophisticated. You really did look hot.
Eunbyeol rushes down the stairs before you, catching up with her sister to inspect her job on their fathers preparation.
“Well?” She says expectedly, looking at her dad. “Let’s take a look!”
He sports a simple yet timeless white collar dress shirt, the first few buttons undone as he wears a form fitting black dress-vest that accentuates his waist, dress pants paired to go along with it. Though simple, his silver rings pulled the outfit together, making him just as good looking and sophisticated as you were.
Hongjoong’s back faces towards your front, watching as the man nervously shuffles his hands in his pockets.
“How do I look guys?” He gulps, adjusting his collar and sweeping his blond hair back.
Eunseo rolls her eyes, a grin on her proud little face. “Do you even have to ask, dad?” She’s more than confident in the outfit she and Seonghwa coordinated together.
He chuckles, shaking his head as he nervously tells them.
“I want to look good for your mom, you know what I mean? She's a difficult woman to impress sometimes.”
“I’m difficult?” You tease, walking down the last few steps of the stairs.
The man turns his head around, losing his breath at the sight of you standing there in front of him, wearing that dress that he hadn’t seen you wear for so long, looking breathtaking in every possible way.
“Hi” you grinned softly, feeling sort of shy.
The way you fit in that dress made an insatiable hunger fuel inside Hongjoongs chest, eyes gazing at the way you strutted over in the black, lace covered material with your hair tied back and glossed lips turned upwards as your dimples showed. He breaks from his admiration when you quirk a brow at him, making the man almost fall to his knees and stutter uncontrollably.
“I-I No I didn’t mean that-“
You giggle as you bravely take Hongjoongs hands in your own, shutting him up as you turn to your daughters standing in front of you, starstruck at your aura.
“Outside, right?” you winked at them.
“Right this way!” Eunseo enthusiastically leads you out back to the outdoor patio, a perfect view of the garden and lakeside coming into effect. Hongjoong slips his hand from yours, and slides it across your waist, pulling you into his side.
“My parents are too cool” Eunbyeol sighs under her breath, watching from behind in awe.
Your ex-husband makes you swoon when he leans in to whisper softly. “You look breathtaking, sweetheart.” feeling an immense sense of pride at how lucky he was to make you the mother of his children.
You blush, turning to him to whisper playfully back.
“Not bad yourself.”
You both look forward when you come to a stop at the patio steps, sheer amazement at the full preparation your daughters did for this event. Fairy lights were hung around the area, a table with two chairs on either side placed with a white table cloth and a bouquet of freshly hand picked flowers from the forest, battery powered candles that were sold at the souvenir shop lit in the middle and glowing softly.
Eunbyeol dashes to the door when it rings, making you and Hongjoong furrow your brows.
“Is someone here?” he asks, watching Eunseo fold a napkin over her arm like the pro waiter she was. The other one walks out, an oily fast food paper bag in her hands as she smiles. “Dinner is served!”
“Turns out that diner 15 minutes away also delivers!” She chuckled, helping her sister plate the two cheeseburgers, fries, and vanilla and strawberry milkshakes.
You and Hongjoong continue to watch in stunned amazement as the girls prepare the not exactly gourmet(?) but still impressive meal in front of you, their small hands working swiftly.
“You guys prepared all of this?” You asked, getting a little emotional. They grin proudly, nodding their heads. “We called the place earlier and planned it all by ourselves!”
You pressed a kiss to each of their soft cheeks, thanking them both as Hongjoong did the same.
“What did I do to get so lucky with my girls?” he smiles, ruffling their heads.
“What about you guys?” You asked, watching as they slowly backed away to give you two some privacy.
“Natalie and her mom invited us over for dinner and a sleepover tonight at her cottage,” Eunbyeol smiles. At the mention of their newly made friend that they had gotten close to over the week, Hongjoong looks at you then back at them.
“What? But- ”
She cuts him off, rolling her eyes. “Her mom said it’s totally fine with her. She’s only two cottages down, and she’ll make sure we’re back in time again for tomorrow when we leave!”
The two girls smile in excitement, though the both of you have your parental instincts kick in.
“Please?” they begged, wanting you to let them go so that they could do this for you guys as much as they wanted to do it for themselves. “She’s waiting for us now!”
Hongjoong feels guilty. “C’mon, you guys should still join us!”
Eunseo immediately shakes her head, declining the offer.
“Tonight is all about you guys. We don’t want to intrude” she chuckles, bumping shoulders with her sister who chips in.
“We’ll text you guys in the middle to let you know everything’s good of course”
You and Hongjoong smile, a feeling of immense proudness overwhelming you from seeing your daughters act so grown up. There wasn’t anything else you felt grateful for more.
“Thank you girls.” you muttered softly, watching as they flashed you a wink before hurrying out through the backyard door.
“Don’t get all kissy in the backyard!” Eunbyeol teases, making cheesy smooching sounds with the back of her hand as her sister rolls her eyes and shoves her out.
Before you know it, you’re left standing with just the sound of smooth jazz playing on the patio speakers and the buzzing of the summer cicadas.
“She takes after you, I hope you know that” You told Hongjoong softly.
He chuckles, “Not as much as you.” He gestures to the table. “Shall we?”
And that’s how the next few hours seem to pass by without even realizing.
You see, there was a reason why you fell in love with the man sitting in front of you, and you’re just beginning to remember it now. Being with Hongjoong felt as if the moment was everlasting, and you could testify that from the amount of laughter and deep conversation that was shared over dinner, bringing you to sit on that patio until the sun had set. Every so often you’d smile again at the thought of the twins preparing this all for you.
“I don’t remember the last time I’ve been on a date like this” You blurted out after laughing about something, taking a sip of your strawberry milkshake through a straw.
“Oh, so we’re going on dates now, are we?” Hongjoong grins, making you roll your eyes at him.
You lean forward on the table cloth, watching as a glimmer passes through your husband’s eyes while he sits back in his chair, cocking his head to the side as he clears his voice.
“But you’ve gone on dates after we split, haven’t you?” he asks, leaning forward in interest now, letting his chin rest on his palm.
You shook your head slowly.
“Nope. Not since signing those papers” you revealed.
Hongjoong furrows his brows in surprise. “And why’s that?”
You suddenly didn’t have an answer. “I-I don’t know, I just…” You began, watching how he looked at you with an unreadable expression. You smiled, looking down and suddenly feeling embarrassed.
“I guess I was too focused on running the bridal shop, I couldn’t find the time to.” You use as a cliche excuse.
“Bullshit” he retorts back immediately.
“It’s true!” You protested, throwing a fry at him that he dodges, landing on his finished plate.
“You always did say back when we were younger that you wanted to be a designer. And look at you now” he admires, letting the candle lights shine a youthful glow to your face.
“You always said you wanted to become a music producer and write your own songs.” you reciprocated, smiling as you soaked in the presence of one another. “And here you are now.”
You think for a moment before asking the same question.
“How about you?”
Hongjoong silently shakes his head as his answer, though silently thinking about something else. The music changes to some old Billy Joel song in the back. You don’t realize it, but Hongjoong smiles to himself when he realizes the girls added it to the playlist. Of course they had to, it was one of the songs you played at your wedding.
“What were we thinking when we got married like that?” You asked out loud, looking at how far you’d both come. You definitely skipped some of the order of the stages of a normal relationship.
“I mean, we had no money, no prospects. Hell, we didn’t even have a car, Hongjoong!” you realized.
Your husband laughs, sitting straight and letting some skin show through his unbuttoned collar.
“We were young” he justifies.
“Yeah, and stupid too,” you pointed out, feeling the summer breeze pass by. It felt good to sit here like this with him.
You wondered, could sitting here like this with Hongjoong be a regular thing? After this trip, would you be able to walk back into each other’s lives again like this?
As both parents and lovers?
Hongjoong brings up something you wouldn’t have expected him to.
“Do you remember when we first found out about Eunseo and Eunbyeol?” he questioned softly, looking at you.
You blink, taken aback. Suddenly you’re back in your college dorm washroom, sobs wracking through your body as Hongjoong who had only just sent his first few mixtapes to recording stations and companies nearby, pulled you close into his chest, eyeing the two lines left on the counter while he caressed your back. Only twenty years old and figuring out what you wanted to do with your lives, you were suddenly stuck in a sudden situation that had made you feel like your dreams would have been given up on completely.
“I do,” you told him, pulling yourself from the memory.
“I remember because in that moment I felt like the whole world was caving in”. You laughed, though it wasn’t fully cheerful.
“I don’t regret it, though” Hongjoong replies after some thought, gazing at you with truth in his eyes.
You shook your head. “Of course. Neither do I.”
It was a blessing to have two beautiful daughters as the product of your love.
“I don’t regret you either.” Hongjoong states.
You lock gazes, unable to take your eyes off of his face.
“I loved you when I first met you and I still loved you when we divorced,” he says all at once, making your breath hitch and heart waver.
“Don’t say that.” you tell him, looking away and suddenly reminding yourself you’re still divorced from the man sitting in front of you.
How could he still love you after all this time? How could you feel the same about him?
Hongjoong continues, shaking his head as he bites back the lodge in his throat and makes up his mind. He has to tell you.
“Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”
Don’t do this to me you begged silently.
“I’ve hurt you just as much as you’ve hurt me.” He swallows, thinking back to the times you already knew he was referring to. The times where you fought to the point where there wasn’t even anything worth fighting for anymore.
“But you have given me the greatest gifts of my life.” He smiles, holding his tears back.
“And for that I will always love you.”
You push your seat from the table, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and wanting to avoid him.
“I can’t do this anymore.” you dejected, walking away from the patio and from Hongjoong.
There wasn’t anything else you could fake anymore. You couldn’t bear to hear the man you once loved, possibly even still love, say these things like he had a dagger lodged in his heart. Didn’t he know he was only going to do the same to you?
Hongjoong is quick to catch up, holding onto your wrist and turning you around, that your back collides with the nearest wall inside, pressing your fronts together and closing the distance.
“Why do you always run away from me? From the possibility of us?” He exclaimed, voice breaking. His heart crushed at the way you turned your head, hot tears already clouding your vision.
“Because ‘us’ can’t happen again, Hongjoong!” You cried, staring up at the man you once promised your life to.
“Don’t you get it? Us going on this trip isn’t a sign to get back together. What would we do seven years after breaking up?”
“We could do it” He states firmly, staring you down, both your chests heaving.
You bite your tears back again. “No we couldn’t, honey. We would be pretending to think we solved our marriage. What would we do about our daughters? After putting them through our constant fighting�� ”
He slams his lips to your own, shutting you up as you painfully resist his touch. Your hands came up to push him away, but at the sudden gesture, you’re already giving in and sobbing softly, letting him hold you for just one last time.
Your lips mold so perfectly, it almost hurts how much you missed this feeling. To have him slot his arms around your waist, pull you in close, and cherish you. You almost forgot this feeling.
He pulls away softly, watching your lashes flutter, pleading to you for a chance as he leans closer, making your breath hitch.
“We could be together as a family again,” he states firmly, your name leaving his lips in a desperate plea. “We never know if we try—”
You drown out his words, looking up with tears falling as you cut him off.
“Seven years ago I gave you those papers to sign, thinking that you would’ve chased after me,”
Hongjoong holds his breath, watching as the next words stumble from your mouth.
“I realize now, how stupid I was to think that.”
“I didn’t know you wanted me to chase you”
Shoving his chest away while mustering the last of your strength you uttered. “Of course I wanted you to chase me.” You let go of his hands. “It’s too late either way”, walking away from the defeated man.
Hongjoong stands alone near the patio entrance, watching his tears fall to the wooden floorboards. Holding the ring he had kept hidden in his trouser pocket, he plays with it in his fingers, silently wishing he had given it to you sooner.
It rains the next morning on your departure back to the city. Perfect, considering it reflects the sudden storm of utter depression that falls upon your family. Long gone are the cheerful giggles and longing stares that were shared between you and Hongjoong during the ride to the cottage.
There was no room for that, not after last night.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo sat slumped in the backseat, rain hitting the roof of the car as they mindlessly played on their cell phones. Really, they were peeking from behind every so often and watching their parents sit in the front seat with tension so thick, you could’ve cut it with a knife.
What had they done wrong? They planned the trip, the activities, the dinner— it was all perfect. And yet why were you still fighting with each other?
These questions racked in their brains, baffled to have witnessed the sight of their parents refusing to talk to each other after walking back from their friends' sleepover.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo felt as useful as matchmakers without a couple, feeling their efforts all gone down the drain.
At the sudden ring of your cell phone, you pick up, answering at the voice of your assistant.
“I’m driving back up right now”
Hongjoong continues focusing on the road, the occasional wiping of rain from the windshield wipers on the front window.
“Yes. That’s okay, I'll take care of it.” You muttered, glancing at the rear view mirror for a moment. Your twin daughters immediately sigh, having an idea of what to expect when you say those familiar words.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
You hang up the phone,
“One of us isn’t going with you, are we?” Eunseo asks, making you look back at her with a sigh.
“No, you’re not” You confess, apologetic. ‘I’m sorry honey. I really am.”
You look back facing the front, swallowing as you told Hongjoong.
“You’ll have to drop me off at the studio. Some things aren’t working out with the client so they need me to come in and take care of it.”
He nods, unphased as he continues to look straight.
“Will you be fine with the girls?” You asked carefully, watching them as they were slumped in the backseat.
Hongjoong grips the wheel before turning to you.
“I‘ll be fine. Don’t worry about it” sending a small smile, though it doesn’t fully reach his eyes.
The twins thank god that at least neither of them had to choose to go back home with either parent.
They would’ve hated that more.
After barely being able to depart and say goodbye to your daughters in front of your studio, holding them close for a warm embrace and thanking them for an unforgettable weekend, Hongjoong drives off with his daughters, an empty feeling cascading his thoughts. He puts on a smile still, trying to cheer up his girls.
“What do you want to do first when we go home? Want to unpack and then eat? We can eat and then unpack. Or we could- ”
Eunseo crosses her arms, having been fed up for far too long.
“Dad, you must be out of your mind.”
Hongjoong stills, furrowing his brows and peeking at the first born who crosses her arms, holding an attitude.
“Eunseo, what are you- ”
“You’re telling me you and Mom just spent a whole entire week together at the cottage, had the best time of your lives since separating with one another, and now you’re just going to go back to not speaking or talking to each other again?”
Hongjoong blinks at his daughter’s sudden outburst, already making a turn into the driveway of his house.
Eunbyeol now reciprocates her twin, looking at her dad as she slouches beside him, coming near the front seat area.
“She’s got a point dad. Do you really just not love mom anymore?” She worries, looking up at him genuinely concerned.
Hongjoong doesn’t know how to answer these sudden questions right now, stuttering to reply.
“Me and your mother are fine!” He lies, trying to reassure them. “That trip wasn’t just for us, it was also for you two to enjoy— ”
Eunseo asks the million dollar question.
“If you still love Mom, why are you letting her go a second time?”
With the engine turned off, it's gone silent. Two pairs of eyes staring at their father, awaiting his response.
“Well? Are you going to chase after her or not?!” Eunbyeol groans, her fathers lack of response making her pull her hair.
They were right. How could he have made the same stupid mistake twice?
Hongjoong struggles to put the keys back in the engine, telling them to put their seat belts back on. Their eyes begin to glow with hope.
“Do you girls mind staying at your uncle’s for a bit?” He asks hurriedly, punching into his cell phone to call his brother for a favor as he pulls out of the driveway. Eunbyeol squeals, hands clamping over her mouth as her sister speaks on behalf of them both.
“Dad, if you don’t drop us off and get your butt over to mom’s right away, I’m gonna report you to child services.” she threatens, watching as he steps on the accelerator, heart pumping so fast as he smiles through the rear view mirror.
You sighed, holding up your cellphone to your ear.
“Call me once she approves the design then,” you told your assistant through the receiver, one hand looking over the sheets of paper, highlighting the changes to the new blueprint.
“Alright then, bye.”
After hanging up the phone, you rubbed your temples, head pounding as you tucked the files back into the folder.
The clock in your studio showed the hands about to reach seven pm. A few hours had already passed since coming back from your trip to the cottage, trying to forget everything by burying your focus into the new dress prints a client of yours requested, remodeling them after the original was rejected.
Fingers worked away swiftly, comparing textiles and fabrics as you looked at the piles of papers and messy sticky notes in front of you. But yet the gears in your mind seemed to churn achingly slow, sighing as you repeatedly told yourself the same thing.
Just focus on the dress, focus on the dress, focus on the dress.
Don’t think about him.
The task is impossible. Your mind can’t help but slip back to what your relationship has become with Hongjoong, and what you were going to do now that those seven days were over. For so long you had deprived yourself from indulging in your love life, prioritizing taking care of Eunseo and Eunbyeol while juggling your job as a designer. Had you been doing it all wrong?
Hongjoong’s words repeat in your head like a broken record player.
I will always love you
Lies. That promise couldn’t be kept. Your divorce was a clear outcome of it. You and Hongjoong were two people not meant for one another. You were too different, all you would do is hurt one another, make life an unbearable living hell—
And yet you missed him. You missed Hongjoong so much.
What was fucking keeping you from loving him? Was it your stubbornness? Was it really the fact that he didn’t chase after you? Or was it none of that and just your own self being stupid?
The front door of the studio opens, pulling you from your thoughts as you got back to the sketches. You called up from your desk as you worked quietly.
“The studios closed for the- ”
Heavy breathing. The man who just walked in catches his breath from dashing out of his car and up the three flights of stairs, driving through almost an hour of traffic in pouring rain to be here in this moment with you.
“Hongjoong?”
He’s drenched, making a mess on the floor of the studio as the droplets fall softly one by one.
Suddenly he's striding over to where you’re sitting in long steps before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss throws you off guard, the shock of his cold hands cradling your face makes you close the gap unknowingly.
Linking your arms around his neck while kissing back passionately, you let your hands rest on his shoulders, pulling back for air as you panted heavily, catching your breaths and looking at each other with pure love and lust.
“Why are you here?” you asked, feeling dumb because your heart already knew the answer. His hands wrap around your waist, desperate as if you would leave him again.
But he’s just so fucking tired of that now. He just wants to love you now.
“I lost you once.” He breathes, eyes watering.
“I’m not going to lose you again”.
Suddenly, everything that kept you from being with each other is thrown away.
That hate, that fear, everything is gone because you realize you still needed each other. You’re still the same twenty year old couple standing in that dorm washroom, holding each other close and knowing it’ll be okay because at least you had each other.
You grasp onto his damp shirt, pulling him down with such force that your lips meet again, taking charge as you finally allowed him to have you.
“You’re a fucking idiot” you whined between kisses, curses escaping your lips when he softly bites the flesh of your neck to test the waters. “I hope you know that”
He agrees wholeheartedly, nodding as if he was already getting pussydrunk.
“I’m an idiot” he mumbles to himself, letting it escape his lips like a mantra. Well, he was stupid enough to only chase after you this late, so if his wife told him he was an idiot, then so he was.
“Let me prove how much I love you,” a hand comes to graze near the collar of your shirt.
You gasped, watching as Hongjoong lifted you from your seat and rutted his hips against your core pathetically, your ass digging into the edge of the table.
“Here?” Your eyes widened, watching his expression turn dark. He presses kisses on your collarbone, making your hands grasp the wood for support. “Hongjoong wait,” you exhaled in a deep breath, heart beating against your chest.
But he doesn’t give a shit. He’s tired of waiting.
“It’s been too fucking long” he protests, ripping your top off. You’re dizzy from how abruptly he’s stripping you, latching onto his shoulders for support as you wobble from him unzipping your jeans and pushing them down, exposing you in nothing but your underwear and bra.
And like the good little whore you are, you immediately spread your legs, letting Hongjoong get a view of the embarrassingly wet patch leaking through your panties as he’s crouched down to let you step out of the denim near your ankles.
Holy fucking shit
You stand bashfully, toes curling from how exposed and vulnerable you were being the only one naked.
“Please?” you asked nicely, letting your foot rest on his shoulder as your pussy was now on full display for him.
You don’t have time to even finish the last word before Hongjoong dives in, lapping at your soaking cunt and humming in pure ecstasy at the taste. The muffled vibrations make you throw your head back, tugging on his locks to shove his face further.
Hongjoong’s hands press into your thighs that cage his head in, leaving a grip that you guarantee with littering the flesh with red splotchy bruises. Did you mind? Not at all.
When his tongue pokes at the gummy flesh of your walls, you let out a full moan, echoing throughout the studio as the air begins to smell like sex.
“Right there, yes” you urged him, leg beginning to shake from how weak it was getting.
He's so invested, you fear he might suffocate any longer if he doesn’t pull back for air. So you grasp his head, pushing him away from his meal while you both gasped lightly.
You watch him wipe his slick covered chin with the back of his hand, not breaking eye contact as he stares.
“You were just begging to be fucked for all these years, weren’t you sweetheart?” He teases.
Though you wanted him to lap at your juices until you came, you knew you needed to still feel his cock inside after so long.
Your fingers played with the hem of your underwear, smiling back at your husband.
“And you were just begging to get a taste of this pussy, weren’t you, Joong?” wiping that smug grin off his face.
”Lay down for me” he demands, getting up so that one hand finds its way to the back of your bra to unclasp it. The other clears half your desk covered in wedding dress blueprints and sketches, making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name.
And people said romance was dead.
When the bra slides off and your bare back hits your desk, you suddenly realize what Hongjoong’s intention was when he ordered you to do that.
Soft mounds spill out as your breasts take their natural form, giving Hongjoong the perfect view of your tits. Pervert.
He immediately latches his tongue on a nipple, taking his hand and playing with the other, twisting painfully.
A cry escapes your lips, parting them open as you let him play with them as much as he wanted to. He smiles against the motherfuckers, knowing that shut you up perfectly.
“Are you ready for me to fuck you now?”
“Please, Joong, I need you” you whined, submitting yourself to your husband. He already knows you’re in need of one last kiss, coming up to give his wife what she wants by slotting his lips against yours again, this time much harsher.
“Tell me so that I treat you good, baby” he mumbles, pulling back and making you clench your thighs together. He undoes his shirt in the meantime, unbuckling his belt and pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek when you sobbed.
“Fuck me, please”
His fingers slide your panties to the side to press his aching tip to your wet core.
“Like this?” He teases.
“Inside, Hongjoong” you emphasized, meaning what you said with the way your nails dug into a pile of papers nearby. Biting your lip from how sensitive and needy your cunt was.
“I know, I know,” he murmured, smiling to himself after messing with you.
“I just missed this pretty cunt” before in one strong thrust, Hongjoong’s bulging tip enters inside your walls, giving you a stretch you forgot how much you loved. You whined softly.
“Shit” he curses, relishing how the buildup finally led to this moment.
The man is ravenous, but he’s genuinely trying his best to ease the painful stretch as you adjust to his thickness, nipping your neck in a trail of hickeys and love bites posessively.
With every thrust he makes, you arch your back, pencils and papers shuffling near by you.
“Fucking look at my wife” he admires proudly, watching the woman he loves bounce her tits at every thrust of his cock.
“S’too much” you caved in, shaking your head at the stimulation.
You claw at his arms, head turning to the side as your eyes roll back from pleasure.
“I know, mama, I know”
He grabs a tit in his left hand, the right one coming down to play with your clit, pressing slow circles near where you were connected.
“Fuck, I missed these” He rasps, savouring the feeling of your soft flesh in his hand, making you throw your head back.
“Missed how they looked when you were pregnant” he says, thinking of how ethereal you looked when you were knocked up with his kids.
“God, at this point I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant again” Hongjoong grunts, snapping his hips deliriously back and forth. He envisions you round and full, fulfilling his inner fantasy.
“Shut up.” You spat, breaking the mood as you bit your lip to suppress a moan. He almost laughs when you then crane your hips back to give him easier access to keep penetrating you. The desk shuffles.
“Your mouth is saying one thing, honey, but your body is saying something else”
After hearing his words, you suck him in further, both of you now getting close.
“M’close. M’so close!” you whimpered, sitting up so that now Hongjoong could hold you in his arms, caging your body so his cock could stuff you better.
Your mouth hangs open in silent bliss, hands scratching his back. You leaned into his ear, making the final chord inside him snap.
“Make me cum, daddy”
And just like that, you’re clenching around Hongjoong’s massive cock as a creamy white ring begins to form. Hot ropes fill you up inside, tangled in a sweaty mess as he purrs, caressing the back of your head again in habit.
“So fucking good, sweetheart. You did so good for me”
The sounds of your breathing fill the studio, a pencil or two rolling quietly away on the ground from being shoved off the desk. He shakes his head when you try to pull your sweaty bodies away, hair sticking to your neck but feeling the way he refuses.
“Just let me love you,” he mumbles into your shoulder, dick softening inside you. “Just for a moment.”
You’re too tired to say anything back, so you finally give in.
Seven years passed by you two without even realizing how much you still loved each other. Though you wouldn’t be able to get that time back, for once, there was something that you and Hongjoong agreed upon.
You had no intention of wasting that time any more.
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄:
Months later, and it still takes everything in Eunbyeol and Eunseo hearts to not scream at the sight of their parents when they walk hand in hand, smiling happily in public as they pick their daughters up from the first day of school.
The girls jump into their parent’s embrace, eying the two silver rings they now wore proudly together.
“How was school, darlings?” Hongjoong asks, pressing a kiss to Eunseo and Eunbyeol.
“It was fun! We watched a documentary about lovebirds” she smiled, looking back up. You laughed softly.
“Which reminded me to tell you,” she grins, watching as you, her sister, and father all looked at her.
“I hope you know that getting you and dad back together was my plan from the start.” she confesses, smirking at Eunbyeol who scoffs, crossing her arms.
“Nuh uh, this was my idea first!”
Before her sister could yell at her twin, you jumped in.
“Plan? What plan?” You asked quizzically, both you and Hongjoong standing there confused.
“To get you guys to fall back in love again, of course!” Eunseo smiles, both her and her sister now giggling softly together.
“How am I just finding out that there was a plan?” Hongjoong mutters, scratching his neck in confusion. You turned to the two girls, stopping in your tracks on your way to the car
“When did you two even think of all this?” grinning in astonishment as you felt Hongjoong slot his hand and intertwine it with yours. It felt natural now.
“Yeah, I'm curious too” he states, leaning close and becoming intrigued.
Your daughters look at each other before smiling.
“It’s a long story.”
But at last, time is something you finally now have as a reunited family of four, walking back to your car, holding hands with a twin on each side.
Listening carefully, as your daughters start from the very beginning.
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#wet kissy on ur forehead for writing the best pussy drunk stupid dad!hj#as a certified pyeongie and a fast reader i took a lot of time to consume 18k fic...u HAD ME DOING JUMPING JACKS EXCUSME?#reactions so haywired i ahd to use these bigass gifs and pictures to convey my feelings.#FIRST AND FOREMOST#THESE TWO KIDS ARE ACTING IN PAIN AND HOW TF DID THEY BOTH NOT NOTICE!!!!#like i would be drooling all over the backsear and that one turn would wake me up making me act and my PARENTS WILLL NOTICE😭#but the twinsies are so cute my god they are the icons of this fics i lobe them#wish i could record myself because the dialogues are what made this fic so interactive for me. each one of them had elicited a response out#im a theatre kid and the dialogues oh wow#let me in i need some script advice.#and it has ruinef me for other fics once again.#WHEN OC PICKED UP THE POT BC OF HIS COMMENT AND SLAMMED THE DOOR AND HE GRINNED. IM ON THE FLOOR. TAKE ME. RN.#HOW OBVIOUS BOTH OF THEM WERE#kinda made me realise i can never be eunseo and eunbyeol of my parents bc they would actually throw the pots at eo N E WAYS#“im pretty sure we fucked” im pretty sure u both are still in love cmon shut up now.#WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE POINT WHY DID THE ACTUALLY DIVORCE???? WHAT WAS THE REASON??? FIGHTS??? MARRIAGE HAPPENED TOO SOON???? OING????#i feel the need to put it out in the world that them using “we were mean to eo” “friends?” is eldest sibling in their safe space coded.#idk thats a stupid logic but it was my uncensored thought to that moment#both of them are so sexy for the gourmet dinner scene i almost pissed#THE WAY I JUMPED WHEN THE TWINS SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY LIKE#U DIDNT JUST I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND OC TELLING U TO CHASE AND U GO WELP *cries internally im sorry BLAH BLAH BLHA#BITCH RUN FOR UR LIFE THATS THE MOTHER OF UR CHILDREN!!!!#i genuinely tweaked everytime they used mother of my children father of my children...all the possesive terms oh lord.#so vcutparis lore coded. we love the above tag.#“making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name. ”#DAMN FUCKING RIGHT AN DTHEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD. THE WAY I BANGED MY 2000 PAGES OF NOTES ?#i love this fic sm#and another favourite scene is when grandma hong calls twins HER LITTELE SQUIRRELS ACK ACK ACK ACKCKCCCCCCCCCCKK just set me on fire.#AND WHEN EUNSEO BLURTS OUT SHE WANNA STAY AT THE RESORT FOREVER? and then the scene changes to tanned hongjoong laughing smiling.#i curled over and cried
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laying in bed with megumi, your head resting on his chest as you watch him scroll through his phone. every now and then he will scroll past a video he wants to watch and you'll bug him until he scrolls back up so you can see it—mostly all the cat videos that he gets on his explore page now that you're always sending them to him.
but he keeps shifting, almost like he's uncomfortable. and because you don't want to hurt him with your weight on top of him, when he shifts for the fifth time in less than ten minutes, you pop your chin up on his chest and look at him.
"am i too heavy?" you ask, and megumi furrows his eyebrows.
"what? no."
"you keep moving. are you uncomfy? is it because of—"
megumi shuts you up with the roll of his eyes. his jaw ticks in the way it does when he's biting his words back, and he looks up at the roof. with each breath he takes, you can feel his heart thrum in his chest just a little bit faster.
"i just... like being close to you, is all. and i don't know how to ask for what i want."
you prop yourself up a little and swing your leg over megumi to straddle his waist. his hands instinctively find your waist, and you're brushing his spiky hair up and off his forehead before pressing a gentle kiss to it.
"wha—"
"that's what you want, right?" you wiggle your eyebrows, peppering kisses over his cheeks, nose, jaw, chin... "to be kissed so much you can't breathe!"
you attack megumi with so many kisses that his attempts to push you off him become futile, and he's left to scrunch up his nose and take the brunt of your desire to smooch. he grumbles, acts like he was going to ask to go get food or something, but you catch the way his cheeks flush and he starts to laugh alongside you.
you really need to teach that boy how to ask for a kiss.
#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi fushiguro x you#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi
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