#that i'll do something nice and normal. and what if someday i cannot.

[unopenablebox]

i feel like once a month i go to sign up for a fic exchange, cheerfully put together three or four things i want to write for, realize that i have absolutely no desire to have someone write fic for me whatsoever, and take so long hoping i'll come up with three fandoms i expect to find bearable that the signup window times out

[kieuecaprie]

On a whim, I decided to play on a different fork of Space Station 14 after a particularly rough round on Salamander (It's been getting highpop lately so it's been pure chaos and it's hard to keep in character as Adalite, a skittish and sweet reptilian, when so many bad things are happening.).

After hearing a good first impression of it from a friend, I chose to play on the Delta-V server and ported Adalite over to get my hours in.

First shift was a latejoin as a janitor, pretty much was uneventful, I just wanted to hop on to get myself situated with the community. And because I could not play Janitor on WizDen, lmao, that role is about as hard to get into as AI is right now.

Second shift was extended and I wrote up a greentext-like story to explain what happened. Feel free to click the read more:

> Be me, Adalite Tosimizu, Janitor aboard the station Lighthouse in the Delta-V sector > Just an average shift, clean stuff up, pick stuff up, dump it > Recycler windows kept breaking. Adalite's knowledge of building comes in handy and a reinforced window is created > Befriend a clown who fell into disposals (They were later called out by CC for not being clown-y enough) > Head to Epi to deal with a spill that cannot be cleaned with water. > It's potassium 💀 > I use a cleanade after failing and everything is a-okay! 👍 > I crit 💀 > Get taken to medical by the Mystagogue > It was just radiation > Okay, everything is good again! 😄 > Take a break to play Vamo Alla Flamenco on the guitar that was left lying around. > Vibe for a moment until… > Be… me? Adalite? Huh? ❓❓❓ > Confusion abound as both Adalites check each other out. > Turns out the paradox anomaly is just as confused as I am. > We immediately hit it off! 😀 > Do an impromptu team-building exercise with the slime coming out of the vents. > Holy shit, my clone is so nice! > Continue as normal, just now there's another me, I guess. She seems chill, so… > An explosion happens in north-west maints... 💥 > Decide to foolishly go investigate. Bad idea. > Nearly crit myself again, scrambling to escape maints with an emergency crowbar. 😰 > Comms light up. It's Nukies. 😰😰😰 > Head to bar to hole up for a while, meet my clone again. > Explain to her what happened, break down crying from nearly dying again. She consoles Adalite. 🤗🤗 > Everything appears to be normal again, lone-op got got, so it's just a little messing around with the new speed boots Epi made for everyone! (They had 20) > It's evac time. Shuttle was not recalled. > Head to the shuttle with Adalite and sit down. > Shorkie got captured in the chaos 😭🦈 > Make it to CentComm with Adalite and head for the bar for some peace and quiet. > We chat for a little bit before I realize I lost my blue shork in the chaos. 😔 > She gives up her pink shork and we end the round hitting each other with our own Weh-Wehs. > tmw it was an admin who was playing Adalite's paradox anom this entire time.

>Be me, KieueCaprie, sitting in lobby lamenting how scary and cool the paradox anom was. >See this in OOC:

😭

For the uninitiated, Paradox Anomaly is a midround ghost role exclusively on Delta-V which makes a complete clone of a random crew member. Your goal is simple: * Befriend yourself and make sure they get out alive * Kill and replace yourself from the universe you found yourself in. * Make it back to Central Command alive and unrestrained.

SIKE! It's not simple! You cannot greentext as a Paradox Anomaly! You basically get a choice of RP branches. It's pretty cool and to see it be used on me in my second shift on Delta V was both scary and cool, and heartwarming when it turned out the paradox anomaly was really sweet, just like Adalite.

Maybe I'll check out the other forks too someday but having a good first experience in Delta V is really something. Think there's RMC14 and Frontier I'd like to check out.

[foster-the-world]

Best time

Took the girls to a French Fry restaurant/stand in the West Village that I used to go to all of the time when I was in my 20's. Of course, they loved it. Then we went to the Tenement Museum. I love that place. They also liked it. I'm sure somethings went over there head but they still go things out of it. I made them write a passage about it because I'm that kind of Mom. I really want their writing to improve this summer. I was surprised neither of them knew what the word immigrant meant. A third to half of their class is immigrant children. I had booked a tour about a 13year old girl which was geared toward children. Unfortunately, turned out I had booked the wrong day. They kindly let me go on a different tour. We did one called "100 years apart" about a Chinese family in the 1970s and a Prussian/Germany family in the 1870s. The kids got to see a rotary phone and a tape recorder. We've always treated immigrants unfairly/blamed them for our problems and then gotten pissed off when the economy goes to shit when we limit immigration.

Baby boy loved the Danny Go show. He was so into it - my husband and I were dying laughing. We also found a really nice community pool that we took him to three times this weekend. Its free and huge. I'd been to the Central Park pool before I had kids and found it kind of gross. I falsely assumed all city pools would be like that. Was very happy to find out that was not true. Baby boys swimming is getting better everyday.

Don't judge (or do, whatever, we are doing the best we can) but baby boy (4yo in June) still sleeps in a crib with a pop up mesh tent over it. We know we should have gotten him out but there is no way he would stay in a bed if he could easily get out. With this set up he sleeps a solid 11-12 hours per night, without complaint. He knows he can't get out so he doesn't try. He doesn't cry and if he did we would go in. He's very, very bothered when he does not get enough sleep. He's impulsive when he gets enough sleep I cannot imagine his behavior if he did multiple nights without enough sleep. Last night he put a hole in the mesh tent and got right out. Normally he falls asleep within 5-10 minutes. Last night we stayed in the room and it took two hours. Then of course he was up in the middle of the night. He laid in our bed not sleeping for another two hours. I told my husband to warn his teacher. No way he's going to be okay at school today. By the time we see him at 5pm he'll be out of control. I'll sew up the tent tonight. I ordered another one. We should at least try a floor twin bed with a tent over it sometime soon. My Mom/Aunt are coming Wednesday to watch them over the weekend while we go to a wedding. I can't put that on her. I'm sure its like most kid things - someday he will sleep in a big kid bed and I wont even remember worrying about this. We just need to get it over with.

[yuseirra]

One more thing, I always want...to persist with the idea that someone really wouldn't have done things with bad intent, I feel it's better to live life with that as your schema, when you cannot really change what someone else does, it's happier to believe they didn't mean bad. It can be such a fragile belief, I had my share of hardships in my life too but I guess I've been lucky enough to be able to hold onto it so far. That's why I feel like, it's.. Great to express about all the good things about someone you can encounter but you have to be really cautious in terms of making a negative judgment about an individual. If it's an inanimate object, it's fine. And some people are just unforgivable. Some aren't as unforgivable but they are a disappointment and so on. But you never really know what's going on in other people's heads before they bring it out forth and sometimes it isn't even expressed so well as they intended it to be because language isn't perfect.

They do this, and done that, it's really easy to go on about what other people are like, but even I can't really change myself as a person so would someone else do it if I say it. I say the chances of that happening are so low. That doesn't mean you can't express your disapproval towards something, either. But you really can't..be so sure. If you're really in the right either. I think it's a good thing the world isn't so black and white in reality.

Funny how I really have a want to understand others and resonate with people and thus I studied psychology(a bit)it was fun. I have a huge desire to understand people. I have a lot of occasions where other's feelings just rub off on me and I absorb them. In that case, I want to know if what I'm feeling is so valid and worth it and it's not just me being entitled or overprojecting and all you see? If I have it... I want to make sure I can put it to some use.

It's sad feeling disappointed, angry, depressed, some sort of negativity towards something. Wouldn't it be nice if I never had to feel it? I really don't enjoy expressing such things towards another... I believe, what I create and my drive comes out of love and passion towards a thing. Really don't want to lose it...love is so powerful. I think I have a lot of it when it comes to things I'm passionate about. Hope that does get sent through one way or another. It's something that works in a really interesting way, perhaps it's a subject worth studying. I use it as a theme in many(if not all)of my stories too~

In "Man's Search for Meaning" was it? Hahh;; I remember it having said something like: the ones that held onto baseless optimism were the ones who died first, yeah, I tend to keep hoping. I've been let down a lottt of times. But I'm still alive I guess. Maybe it's a matter of how you hope really. I kind of want to rip it out and throw some of it away, some of my feelings away, it hurts more when you care more. I'm definitely going to suffer a lot when I have my precious things reaped away from me one day.

If I loved and felt less, I'd be a different person. Maybe someday I'll grow numb. I wonder if that'll be a good thing. Till then, I believe I'll have to live this way...I wish my love would pay off. I wish it wouldn't have me felt regret for having cared for something... In terms of people, I did find good ones in my life. For fandoms!!!! I wish they'd stop giving me pain!! Why can't things just end normally what's with these artists going for some shock artistic value uugh

So yeah. Just stream of consciousness. I hope you all have a good day♥ ugh..ugh..I really do hope that piece has some resolution!! I wanna wish it well!! Isn't that love!! I just. Uh huh. Kinda sad I have no power over it. But I don't consider myself to be as capable as those two artists responsible for onk either. I want to understand what they're doing~~~that's all.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #176

Today was relatively uneventful, but a couple of interesting developments occurred. And I took a bunch of pictures for you, too! Maybe you'll like them...

But first! Tea! Because it is my habitual morning thing, and it is a small bit of magic that I continue to wish that I could share with you.

I prepared a black tea that has vanilla, rose petals, and cream flavoring in it. Incidentally, I found a tiny black feather inside that I had to pull out of my measuring spoon after I scooped the tea; it was odd:

...You can bet that this is now in my box full of all the feathers I find everywhere. It's tiny, but its placement was very weird!

...I brewed the tea normally nonetheless, and today's swirls were lovely. I'm really glad that I got the glass mug so that I can capture them for you:

...I've been tired of being stuck in the house unable to do things. The rib injury is still unresolved even after two years, and it doesn't seem like I am going to be able to return to the water anytime soon to resume mermaid training, if at all, ever. I can't weave wire trees fast enough to earn appreciable income (and I think the repetitive movement of twisting the wire stresses the rib somehow anyway...), and I wanna be able to do things like take J, M, and Br out for lunch and get them nice surprises by my own power.

The grocery 5 minutes down the road has had a sign that says, "Immediate Interviews" for a while now, and I've noticed that they tend to hire neurodivergent and otherwise disabled people, so... on a whim, I went. And even without having rehearsed anything or being dressed all fancy, I made good use of my training in human psychology and development, and used that to answer questions about how I generally like to resolve conflicts. I seem to have made a good first impression somehow (assuming the interviewer was being sincere...), and I was given step-by-step instructions on how to apply on a little slip of paper (which was SUUUUPER appreciated because I cannot hold verbal instructions in my mind for the life of me...). So I applied. I guess we'll see what happens.

To be clear: I do not need an income, per se. I live with M and J, and they both work in a tech field, and currently, my contribution is making sure the house is clean(ish) in whatever ways my injury allows. I used to work in a tech field as a database analyst (I am DAMN GOOD at making machines do what I want), but between the social repercussions of not having been born with a penis and just generally not being able to handle office politics, I wasn't happy there. Office work on a full-time basis is not something that my neurotype can handle.

I'm hoping to be able to do simple things at the grocery on a part-time basis - no more than 20 hours a week or so. I like the grocery store and I like being able to help people, so maybe it'll be a good time. I'll try it and see if it fits, and if it doesn't work out, I can try something else.

On the way home, I took some pictures for you of some flowers and some pictures of the sky and of the sun. I wonder if you'll like these:

...It was difficult to get those last two!! I hope you'll enjoy them!

I spent the rest of the day resting, because I did a scary social impromptu interview thing. I played the Rune Factory 4 game that was suggested to me by one of my readers. It's a delightful game! But... I maaaay have gotten so into it that I forgot entirely to eat anything after breakfast. Whoops. I'm sorry about that. But I'll do better tomorrow, I promise.

I hope you're taking nice care of yourself, too, wherever you are. Maybe someday you'll be able to tell me how you're doing and whether or not you're safe...

Well anyway. Suppose I'll end today's letter here. I don't have much more to say.

I love you. Please stay safe out there, okay? I'll write again very soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[thequibblah]

hi so i'm looking for some new music to listen to and i thought you could help because you have great taste!

if this helps, i'll tell you what i normally listen to, which is very basic & basically the same few artists over and over lol

- mostly just taylor swift, she makes up 70+% of my listening probably haha and if i had to pick a favorite genre of hers it would be the folkmore style

- some other pop, like olivia rodrigo and conan gray and lorde & some doja cat but i'm not a huge fan of doja's lyrics

- lyrics are really big for me, so is having a pretty voice and nice melodies

- i love your playlists but the old songs are usually not my style (there's been some though that i really like, ty for that !! <3)

- ceremonials is my favorite florence album

- liability is my favorite lorde song

no problem if u don't want to!

OH i basically recommend things for a living so why not music, eh?

so. what i'm getting from this is that you have three big listening buckets: soft acoustic and indie pop and just plain old pop. so i will divide my recs by those broad genres! i too prefer singable music so i will try to lay off on especially dissonant artists, or mark them as such so you can be prepared (LOL)

acoustic/folksy (i'll admit i am a big indie pop girl so this stuff will be a bit sparser)

phoebe bridgers — admittedly she is more alt-rocky, but see garden song, savior complex, moon song, graceland too, prayer in open D

waxahatchee — can't do much (GOD THIS SONG), lilacs, st. cloud

lucy dacus — also more alt-rocky, but here r some softer jams: hot & heavy, christine, green eyes, red face (a jily song)

anything by first aid kit! start with stay gold and the lion's roar

hozier — i feel like most people on the internet have listened to SOME hozier but check out wasteland, baby! (i tried to pick individual songs and ended up listing most of the album LOL)

kacey musgraves — another artist you've probably listened to already, but try golden hour

brittany howard — stay high must be the sweetest song in existence, and basically all of her album jaime

arlo parks — the whole album but especially caroline, hurt, and black dog

lake street dive — i can change, good kisser (a mary song if i've ever heard one), and i adore their hall & oates cover!

anya marina — this whole album has had me by the throat since like 2013

lucius — just the whole album wildewoman, h/t @figg-anon for putting me onto this!

idk what tf genre fiona apple is but try her out as well!

artists i listen to less of but are in this vein: the lumineers, bon iver, vance joy

u know i had to rec some old people shit (LOLLLL), so in this vein, joni mitchell, heart, judee sills, emmylou harris, joan baez, vashti bunyan

one-off songs you might like: hold you now by vampire weekend, big wheel by samia, i eat boys by chloe moriondo, strawberry blond by mitski (i worship at the altar of mitski but she might not be your speed haha), like i used to (acoustic) by sharon van etten & angel olsen, body by julia jacklin, jackie onassis by sammy rae and the friends, cowgirl bebop by HANA

indie pop BELOVED

maggie rogers — ok i cannot recommend this higher like if u like lorde and conan gray drop everything now and mainline maggie's brilliant debut album

HAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — they've got poppier songs like want you back and more mellow songs like summer girl, but honestly i would just recommend a deep dive because they have a pretty surprising breadth within their own alt-rock/pop niche

caroline polachek — can sometimes get way out n weird in the pop sense but so hot you're hurting my feelings is a very listenable pop standard (also it's so funny she's such a clever lyricist also this is irrelevant here but she sounds amazing live), also love look at me now and her cover of breathless

charli xcx is more experimental pop but would rec trying out warm (FT HAIM!!!), blame it on your love (FT LIZZO!!), and official

rina sawayama — technically her album is all sorts of genres but especially XS, comme des garcons, paradisin', bad friend, and tokyo love hotel

orla gartland is a lil softer and i love more like you, oh GOD, and did it to myself

king princess — especially cheap queen, 1950, holy, but basically all of cheap queen

more one-offs: kansas by ashe, comeback by CRJ (full paean in her honour to come in the pop section), i am a big fan of other people covering the bleachers (LOL) especially rollercoaster by charli xcx and i wanna get better by tinashe (full tinashe praise to come too), saturdays by twin shadow (FT HAIM!!!), the kiss of venus and 3 nights by dominic fike (also his interlude on halsey's album), aute cuture and milionària by rosalía, young lover by st. vincent (i love her but again might not be for u haha), good days by sza, backyard boy by claire rosinkranz, slow dancing by aly & aj, hot sugar by glass animals

if ur down to try out something weird witchy and cool, kate bush is like the originator of 9 billion pop and rock genres and hounds of love is a masterpiece

pure pop (we can split hairs on what makes pure pop LOL but basically everything here is based on ur enjoyment of doja)

carly rae jepsen — ok if u haven't listened to her non-radio-hits u may be like "what?? call me maybe lady???" to which i say YES, especially window, stay away, no drug like me, and too much

victoria monet — this may or may not be a selling point to you, but victoria is a frequent ariana grande collaborator and you can absolutely hear it in her music (see also: the mattress spring background noises in dive JUST like they are in positions...), and i love experience, go there with you, and we might even be falling in love, and why not throw in her ariana grande collab monopoly

magdalena bay — how to get physical which i am destined, nay, contractually bound, to put in a jily modern AU someday, killshot, stop & go

tinashe — basically ALL of her new album!!! SO good. i also love rascal (superstar), esther, and old jams like company (and i JUST found out she has a chaka khan cover!)

chloe x halle have the most angelic vocals in the world

this might sound actually demented because WHO hasn't heard love on the brain but rly... go give ANTI a re-listen...

tove lo — especially are u gonna tell her, mateo, and jacques

WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY ROBYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY ROBYN SONG!!!!!!!

for that throwback poppy sound u may as well go real throwback KJAHKJA and check out donna summer!

one-offs: right to it by louis the child n ashe, serial lover by kehlani (also more by her but im getting lazy now kdjfhgk), missed calls by max n hayley kiyoko, peppers and onions by tierra whack, idk who hasnt heard this song but circles by meg, todo de ti by rauw alejandro (the way i wanted this to be song of the summer so bad ;___;)

hope you enjoy and pls come back and tell me if you really liked any of these!!!! xoxo

[konpithepuppy]

[TRANSLATION: POTATO 01.2021]

7 MEN SAMURAI CROSSTALK AND SOLO INTERVIEW

Scans not mine

May not be 100% accurate

Feel free to correct me, thanks

Konno Taiki x Sugeta Rinne x Sasaki Taiko

I don't like the cold clothes I wear during winter mornings

Sugeta: Winter things like kotatsu and oranges...the number of times nabe is on the dinner table has increased, right?

Konno: In our home, we either have kimchi nabe or curry nabe.

Sugeta: In our house, my younger brother is bad with spicy food so we don't have kimchi. Even though kimchi is not that spicy. The staple in our house is the nabe where you eat the meat with ponzu.

Sasaki: That's mizutaki. Oyster nabe is delicious too. But, our family is on the oden side.

Konno: This is a winter thing that is personal, during winter, since I wear long trousers when I sleep, I feel hot after. Once in a while, I unconsciously take it off.

Sugeta: Why don't you just wear shorts from the start?

Konno: That's bad. I always insert my legs into the comforter when I sleep. In doing so, half of my body is under the comforter, and the other half is out of the comforter.

Sasaki: I understand, I understand! LOL in doing that, you'll get just the right temperature.

Konno: I feel at ease with that position.

Sugeta: I also have a thing that I do in winter. Until around 2 years ago, I go to sleep wearing my everyday clothes.

Sasaki: Then you're gonna wear that the next day too?

Sugeta: I will wear the washed clothes after taking a bath and I'll go out with those clothes the next day. In winter, the clothes we wear feels cold, right? Like jeans and such. I don't like wearing those for that period.

Konno: I don't like it too. I heat my pants in the dryer first before wearing it.

Sasaki: I also remembered something. During my elementary days, I go to sleep wearing a warm innerwear and tights the day before my morning training. It's a situation where you just have to wear a t-shirt and pants on top LOL.

Sugeta: Everyone is sensitive to cold LOL. Thinking of being compatible like kotatsu and orange, who do we think are best combinations in Johnny's?

Sasaki: This is a victory of Kishi Yuta-kun and Sato Shori-kun. I think they are really good friends. Their conversations are interesting too.

Sugeta: Tsukada (Ryoichi)-kun and Goseki (Koichi)-kun who do "cafe au lait brothers" in radio. The coffee is Tsukada-kun and the milk is Goseki-kun. They tried letting them do that and it trended in SNS.

Konno: Rinne is wandering looking for a partner for combination, right? LOL Your combi (combination/partner) right now is (Takahashi) Yuuto, am I right?

Sugeta: Yuutorin. I have other combinations too, but now this is my combi.

Konno: I give my support to Yuutorin. Since I want you to go for it LOL.

Sugeta: Thank you. Well then, I will desperately get involved with Yuuto LOL. (Desperately following/talking/hanging out with Yuuto)

Konno: Which reminds me of the Johnny's Island last 2019, (Iwasaki) Taisho and Taiko keep following Nagase-kun. His face looked so heavy.

Sasaki: We asked for favors and also got clothes from him! He treated us to yakiniku too.

Sugeta: Because if he didn't do those, he will be followed!

Sasaki: Because that's what Nagase-kun wanted.

Sugeta: He totally didn't want that! LOL

Sasaki: The people who we are following, they all want to be followed LOL. This has a strategy the same with love. First, we will bother that person, then we will do nothing next. In doing that, everyone will end up wanting to be followed. They will be happy when we follow them!

Konno: You mean you two exhaust those people who like to be followed LOL.

Motodaka Katsuki x Nakamura Reia x Yabana Rei

We walk alone in the middle of illumination LOL

Nakamura: Before sleeping during winter, I stay first under the kotatsu before lying down on my bed. Since it is cold to enter the comforter at once. But I cannot get out from the kotatsu since it is so warm so I end up sluggishly staying there.

Motodaka: I understand. In winter, we can't leave from a cozy place.

Yabana: And when you lie down on the bed and fall asleep, you cannot get out from it in the morning LOL. You'll say like "I want to sleep in this warm place forever"

Motodaka: It is a thing in winter.

Nakamura: I think the feeling of wanting to have a heart warming love is also a thing in winter.

Yabana: I understand~ there are now more love songs in the songs that [I] listen to. Also, the illuminations in streets are pretty around this time, right? That also accelerates the feeling of wanting to fall in love, right? LOL

Motodaka: The vicinity of places like Imperial Theatre is pretty. But it is full of couples.

Nakamura: Meanwhile, we are trudging going back and forth to Imperial Theatre LOL.

Yabana: Yeah yeah. I am thinking "why are you flirting out there" and I am learning the dirt in my heart LOL...let's change the topic because I'm becoming sad LOL.

Motodaka: I wonder if nabe is a winter staple, I had a burishabu which I made yesterday too.

Nakamura: Nabe, that sounds good. I like motsunabe. Tripe and guts portions of various types of meat make good impact that makes me want to eat it.

Yabana: As for me, what I want to eat right now is tsuufuu (gout) nabe.

Motodaka: You'll only put ingredients rich in what we call "purines", right?

Yabana: Yeah. Since I have woken up to the tastiness of shirako recently, I'm thinking of dropping those [to the pot] in large quantity then I want to eat those.

Nakamura: But that might be kinda difficult to eat during a date LOL.

Yabana: But on the contrary, I will be happy if we could together say "this is delicious" and have them.

Motodaka: A person who matches with your fave food. Certainly, that is important.

Nakamura: ...ha~ I want to fall in love LOL.

Yabana: In the end, that's the conclusion you came up with LOL. Other than food, what do you think are the other important things for compatibility?

Nakamaru: I'll be happy if our hobbies match to an extent. Or perhaps I should say that a person who won't get mad at me even if all I do is playing games would be nice LOL.

Yabana: For me, of course I will be happy if our hobby in music match, but I am not thinking that I want to force things to her. Rather, my partner being my partner, I want her to do the things she like.

Nakamura: Ah, that's nice. Having a partner who you both can spend your own pace might have the best compatibility [lit. most compatible] after all.

Motodaka: It's nice to share the same hobby but we don't want to force things, right? By the way, who would you label as the best combination that has the same level as the combination of kotatsu and oranges?

Yabana: I would give it to Uchi (Hiroko)-kun and Ishigaki (Daisuke)-kun. They have really good vibes.

Nakamura: They give the feeling of being "adult companions," combination, right? I, after all, like the combination of Nakajima Kento-kun and Kikuchi Fuma-kun.

Motodaka: I will say "I like that combination too" but I think everyone in our generation loves that combination.

Nakamura: "fumaken" is the strongest theory!

Motodaka: No objections!

Q. What do you want to ask from Santa?

Konno: I like accessories and clothes so I want for Santa to buy me those. I also want a bag. The clothes are in range of black color. Please understand my preferences and give me set of outfits that would last for a lifetime.

Sugeta: Ueda (Tatsuya)-Santa-san, I want a wallet. When I told about this to him the other day, I have been rejected by him replying "Are you a girl!?" LOL but I am waiting ❤ A new one or a hand me down from Ueda-kun is fine with me.

Sasaki: Please give me a lot. I ask for this every year but a lot with a wide space where you can build a mansion (condominium building) would be nice. With that, I want to study economics. If you like, shall I ask a land with a mansion (condominium building)? LOL.

Yabana: I want to be B'z-san's support member. I am going pratice like hell! When I watch B'z-san's live streaming, I once again thought that bass is cool. I am okay with recording only one song too!

Motodaka: I want a huge tuna LOL. Please leave it on my bedside on Christmas morning LOL. I think it is going to be fishy but my happiness wins so I will use it as a body pillow.

Nakamura: Since I buy that I like on my own, I don't need a thing. Because our stage play is starting so we are going to be busy everyday, I ask for a time in day where all of us [7 MEN 侍 members] can go to onsen to have fun ⭐

Recent Happening

Konno: Talking about the recent stage play 「The Happy Prince」where you only express using words, I challenged a performance that is more difficult than what I normally do. I think I was able to grow and it became a big experience for me. Since it has ended, I want to not neglect my body for it not to collapse. For that sake, I am sleeping a lot! LOL

Sugeta: I went to eat beef cutlets with Ukisho (Hidaka)-kun and Taisho. It was delicious and I had fun 🎶 Acutally on that day, Konpi also planned to go with us, when reached until the front of the restaurant, he suddenly went home for some reason. That is a mystery! LOL

Sasaki: I am attending driving school. I even passed the exam for temporary license. Since I am bad with travelling by train, it would be nice if I can travel by private car. Once I get my license, I have already decided which car to buy someday. Since I heard that that car looks cool and easy to ride.

Yabana: In this time's live of Uchi-kun, I was able to take part in the production more than the usual. The production reflected in my suggestion "How about doing stronger phrase in in the intro?" I could think "I did a band!"

Motodaka: In the dressing room for the stage play 「The Happy Prince 」(the play ended), Konpi (Konno) was watching many times the video of a person who is talking on the phone while riding on the vibrating diet machine and he laughed over the video. I was laughing everytime [he was watching the video] because Konpi's reaction was funny LOL.

Reia: Since I suddenly had a free time, I unexpectedly went to a dinosaur museum. I have always liked dinosaurs, I got excited just by seeing the bones that are displayed. Dinosaurs are dreamy after all. I want to find time to go there again.

[alex-baebae]

Pieces of honor

Chapter 3

Many guys have been knocked out. I don’t know what time it is. “Choi vs Li” the announcement for him “good luck” I tell him smiling, he smiles me back. The fight between them was rough but Seunghyun seemed to be the one who was controlling the situation, suddenly his opponent fell.

That was the first day of the exam, now we are in a special formation. They will give us new instructions in no time, I was next to Seunghyun. “So tomorrow, you will fight with the guys next to you, only the half will be here, you can leave now”. Seunghyun looks at me immediately trying to say something, I just put my hand on his arm “let’s go” I say walking towards our car.

...

“Ahj” Seunghyun complains “it hurts” I chuckle “of course it hurts! My lovely child look what they have done to you!” Miss Liu exclaims angry. We are sitting on the big couch of the Mansion's living room, I keep cleaning my face by myself “my little princess, I can do that” she says worried about my reddish face (you know there is blood mixed with ethyl alcohol) “no, I can do it Miss Liu… better help Seunghyun, he cannot reach his back” I try to smile with my broken lips.

12pm… I’m about to go to the bed “fuck that guy really punched me hard” I say looking at my face through the big mirror on my wall, someone knocks the door. I open it “Seunghyun” I whisper, he enters quickly.

“What are you doing here? You have to rest” I give him a non-sense look “not gonna fight you tommorow” he looks into my eyes locking the door behind him “you have to! I mean we have to!” he says nothing “I don’t want to, but we have to” I add. Then I sit on my bed “but, I can’t… I… I just cannot do anything in order to hurt you” he explains “Seunghyun you know how this works, you cannot change the rules” I say before looking down thinking about my next steps “I’ll renounce then, I cannot let you do such a thing” I say firmly “but your father, your mother what about them?” he says kneeling next to me “I’ll have more opportunities but you…” he interrupts me “you’ll dishonor them”.

I want so badly to have Seunghyun by side, this is the only way… it doesn’t matter what my parents say, after all, he is the only one who I feel less miserable with.

As I told you first, I have confidence problems since I was a child, plus now that I’m an adult for my parents.... I know all the things they do for money… I just can’t carry on by myself. I need someone, maybe I’m depressed.

“Seunghyun, better leave, someone can hear us” I say trying to escape from making decisions “how many times have we been doing this? We haven’t gotten caught” he insists to be here, I can’t think well. “Sorry” is all I can say, he smiles and caress my cheeks “I have to tell you something important” he says now holding my hands “I’m...” he’s hesitating “I can’t fight you tomorrow because... I’m so fucking in love with you”.

I'm surprised as hell. I mean, it's not like I had not feelings for him, but I have been forcing myself to see him as a friend. I was worried to show him my feelings, he could reject me and I would be alone again, I don’t want to be alone as I have told you.

"I shouldn't have told you that" he says, I'm still quiet "I'm leaving" he walks towards my dorm's door "where do you go?" I shut the door which was been barely open by him, I kiss him, he holds me and returns the kiss.

"Ouch!" My lips hurt, again some blood is on them "sorry, I was so excited" he is nervous as hell "sleep with me" I asked him kissing his jaw "N-no, someone can hear us" he has his hands over my waist "so, are you afraid of it?" I tease him a little "yes, your father will tear me up in seconds" I laugh "come on! He will not do it" I kiss again the both sides of his jaws "I'm not afraid of what he could do to me, but surely I will not be able to see you again" I kiss this time his lips.

"Do to really are scared of that?" he lifts me "of course" he peppers kisses all over my neck "I have been in love so much time that, I cannot be away from you anymore" he adds "neither" I whisper.

"Then let's sleep at your place" I suggest "at my...?" He seems confused "if someone see us they'll think that I was the one looking for your love, not vice versa" he chuckles "please" I hug him tighter "my bed is not comfortable" he says "I don't mind" I say "I must leave now, see you tomorrow... My beloved one" he kisses my forehead.

I let him leave, as soon as I hear his door being closed, I walk towards my window, his dorm is not so far. I climb quickly and I get into his room, he was laying down, his eyes closed "someone could have killed you" I comment.

I don't let him respond, I attack his lips before he can even open his eyes "you are stubborn as a mule" he says between the wet kisses, he places his hands over my waist, his thumbs caressing my skin.

"I bet you like it" kisses again, now his hands touching all over my back, he reaches my neck and holds it to make me be closer to him "yeah, I didn't locked the door, but you surprised me as always" we smash or lips again, a small taste of iron is in our mouths I guess my lips are bleeding

"Let's stop, your lips are going to be all red in the morning" I smile "don't want to" I remove his shirt, he only smiles like me "have you.... Did this with another person?" He's nervous I can notice it "have I had time?" I remove my shirt, I have no bra on, he immediately blushes "no".

That was true, I mean we have been together almost 24/7 all the highschool. We assisted to the same school, sometimes the same classes, we did our homework together, the same basketball club, and my mom's trainings after school... Well we hadn't any time for 'love'.

"Well... Let's just follow the 'instructions' of our bodies" I kissed him again "I have read about this and you know...maybe you have too" while he's speaking, I took his pants off. "Let me take care of you this time" he added "you are the most injured of the both of us" I chuckle "then, do what you want".

I sit in front of him, my legs are spread, he’s closer and closer. He kisses all my body while I touch my clit as when I’m alone pleasing me, he sucks my breasts as I moan with every single touch if his hands. I lay on his bed, he climbs onto me kissing my shoulders "you're so beautiful" he whispers in my ear before he licks my earlobe "Seunghyun" I caress his back with my both hands and his legs with my feet.

He takes off my underwear, he kisses around my wetness, suddenly he licks from down to up my pussy "Seunghyun" I moan his name again, he keeps licking me with his warm tongue, I'm getting wetter. Suddenly he sucks hard my clit causing me to lift my hips to increase the contact of his mouth to my skin.

"Maybe you will like this" he turns me around, now I'm on my knees. My legs wide spread for him, he starts to eat me out again, more moans come from my throat, my legs quiver.

Seunghyun puts a finger inside me "does it hurt?" His fingers are bigger than mine I can feel it well, my pussy tights around his index finger asking for more stimuli "it feels good" he puts another one, of course it stretches me more than my two fingers I used to put in when I was needy "give me a second" I say. It hurts only a little but I want to give time to my muscles to enjoy it more. Meanwhile he’s licking my butthole and touching my clit waiting for my instructions.

I move my hips thrusting me with his fingers, he instantaneously moves them rapidly "oh, that's great" I encourage him to don't stop. "Fuck you taste so well" he turns me around again I keep my legs spread, he's intense glance is on me, he makes eye contact and sucks his fingers looking at me all the time.

Maybe he is lying, maybe he had done this with other girls and I don't blame him because some days I wanted to do it as well. He is now between my legs "can I?" I smile, I have done it with dildos, and vibrators but not with a man. So the confidence I had before starts to disappear "sure" he moved a little "is it inside?" he asked me "no it is not" I smile "shit I believed I did it correctly" I laugh now.

"You seemed to be experienced" he laughs as well "I told you that I haven't done this before" he kisses my cheek "so where have you learn what you did before" I asked curious "one day you left open an article about how to masturbate on your laptop and... you know I remember well many things" my face is all red, fortunately the light of the garden only barely illuminated us.

"Then in that web site was another article about how to masturbate a woman, and I read it of course" I laugh hard "really?" I ask "yes, I thought you liked that page a lot because there were many tabs of them opened" l kiss him "so, you have been planning to fuck with me all this time, haven't you mister Seunghyun?" he gets embarrassed "maybe..." he laughs "to tell the truth, I thought that if someday I could have this opportunity... I wanted to make you feel good".

I took his sex in my hands "wanna know what I've learned in that articles?" I joke, he chuckles "next time, baby" he puts my hands asides my head. He takes his member to be sure this time he's going to not fail, he enters slowly I moan "are you alright?" He asks me worried "yes" he goes deeper "ugh!" I moan grabbing his shoulders "I'll stop" he says. I put my legs around his waist. "No, I guess my dildos are not this big". When I was buying my toys on line, I was worried of insert big shit in me, I guess that fear is normal, so I bought the slender and smaller ones.

Seunghyun gets more embarrassed and laughs "well, that's new" he comments "hey, try to move now" I ask, he did as I said, one of his hands reaches my clit, I soon start to feel nice. Our bodies are sweating, our breaths are crashing into each other's skin, soon I felt my orgasm being built, his name is all I'm able to say...

More updates, I will always love y'all!! ❤️

I'm busy, university is getting more difficult. However I'll do my best to update in less time 💞

Love,

Alex

[xspringpearl]

for @atticisms

march 25th, 2022

to: my dearest jo

I am so forgetful. I get distracted, I let things pass and it is only when something jogs my memory again that I remember. A word. A smell. A phrase. A song. These thing come without warning and take me backwards in time again, remind me of things past. This letter has gone long unanswered, and I take responsibility wholly for that. But, it is better late than never- though I promise I cannot fit every thought for you in one small letter. I will do my best.

I don't know that it's become any easier having you away from me. I think I've become accustomed to the feeling, perhaps used to it. But there are still times I ache for your company, times when I wish I could go back or fast-forward to another time when we might be together. It seems so simple. I'll walk past a bookshop, or a bakery, or a cafe, or somewhere we used to sit and eat and talk and live together and I feel the sharp ache in my bones. I hear our music all the time, songs that whisper your name. But mixed within my sorrow is a happiness that it all happened, a pride that you're seeing your way in the world now, and a sweetness that I know our kinship will never be forgotten.

What is it they say? Don't be sad that it's over, be happy that it happened?

Not much has changed here. It's strange to think you've been gone for six months now. It feels like a second and a lifetime. Spring is here again. I think it must always be the changing of the season that makes me the most nostalgic. Spring is so wonderful, easily my favorite season. Everything wakes up again after it's long winter nap, things seem brighter and kinder, sweeter than before.

It would be nice to say that I've had a great many successes in the last six months, but I haven't. Which isn't a bad thing. The world is still returning to normal and that takes time, I try to remind myself. Baby steps are important, small progress is still progress. Working my way to tryinf harder, trying to talk to new people, bettering myself with small steps is what matters. I mustn't compare myself to others.

I get to see you soon. I'm trying not to think about you leaving again so quickly, and trying to focus on the time you're here, for that will be the most joyous part. My heart leaps to think about it. Someday soon I'll have to make the journey to your neck of the woods. I was only a baby the last time I was there, so it will be nice to go and be able to remember my time.

I love you terribly and miss you even more. You're always in my thoughts and I'm always here.

My love,

Meg