#that i have been desperately trying to build the nerve to talk to

[milkteabinniechan]

♡Sweet Like Honey - Chan

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY MEMBERSHIP//M.LIST

pairing: husband! Chan x fem! reader

summary: As if meeting your husband for the first time at the altar wasn't nerve-wracking enough, now you two are on your tropical island honeymoon and you still haven't told him you're a virgin!

warnings: fluff, virgin reader, heavy kissing, cunnilingus, beach sex, insecure reader, soft Chan

Chan sleeps peacefully for a while longer before finally stirring, his eyelids fluttering open. As he sits up, he rubs his eyes, trying to shake off the remnants of his nap. His gaze falls upon his new wife, sitting nervously in a beach chair. “Hmm, you're still here.”

You turn your attention from the ocean waves to Chan’s face, giving him a curious look. “Did you think I'd run away?”

“I was half expecting you to.” He chuckles, his voice gruff from sleep. “Considering we barely know each other, and the fact that this was all arranged.” He shrugs. “But I’m glad you didn’t.”

You let out a long sigh of relief. “That's good.” You whisper as you turn your attention back to the sand, mindlessly drawing different shapes and patterns with your finger.

Chan watches you for a moment, studying your profile. He finds himself intrigued by your quiet demeanor and the way your fingers move absently in the sand. After a while, he speaks up again, his voice softer this time. “You know, we should probably talk about some things.”

Your shoulders tense as he speaks but you keep your face turned away from him. “Like what?”

“Like the fact that I’m a bit of a workaholic.” He grimaces. “And I snore when I sleep on my back.” He ticks off his fingers as he lists his quirks. “And I’m a bit of a clean freak.”

You chuckle softly, your shoulders already falling a bit as you begin to relax more and more by the second. “Well, I can be a tad messy at times,” you confess, “and I don't eat very well.”

Chan smiles at your response. “Okay, fair enough.” He pauses for a moment before broaching the subject he’s most nervous about. “And how about...physical matters?” He swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Have you ever...?” his voice trails off but his honest eyes tell you what he's thinking without saying it. 

You shake your head slowly. Something squeezing your heart as you try to get the words out. “I've never had sex.”

His eyes widen slightly at your confession, a flicker of surprise and something else - perhaps understanding or even a touch of nervousness - crossing his face. He takes a deep breath before responding. “I see. Well, that's...okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I'm not ashamed.” You respond quickly. And that was true. You had never been ashamed of waiting until your wedding day. But now that the day has finally arrived… “I'm just nervous.”

He nods, his expression gentle. “I understand. It's natural to be nervous about something so...intimate.” He sits up a bit straighter, his arms wrapping around his knees as he looks out at the ocean. “We can take things slow, okay? There’s no rush.”

You turn your body towards Chan. You were desperate to look into his eyes and search for any hint of malice or deception. “You mean that?” You whispered.

He turns to look at you again, his dark brown eyes meeting yours with sincerity. “I absolutely mean that.” He reaches out to gently take one of your hands in his. “This marriage may be arranged, but that doesn't mean we can't build something real together.”

Your heart swells at Chan's words. The honesty within them coats you like a warmth you had never felt before. Before you could catch yourself, you start to move towards him, your mouths just inches from one another. His breath hitches as you lean in, his heart pounding in his chest. The air between the two of you seems to still, the only sound is the distant rhythm of the ocean waves. Gently, he closes the distance, your lips meeting in a soft, exploratory kiss.

The first kiss you shared was at the altar when you said “I do.” It was so formal and uniform. But this kiss was different, more intimate. Like it was leading somewhere new. Chan deepens the kiss slowly, his hands coming up to cradle your face. His touch is gentle yet firm, coaxing you to open up to him. As the kiss becomes more passionate, he pulls you closer, so that you're sitting on his lap, your arms wrapped around his neck. Soon your hands move from his neck to his hair, letting your fingers tangle and comb through the dark locks. Your hips start to grind and move involuntarily against his lap. He breaks the kiss to bury his face in the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. His arms tighten around your waist, stilling your hips with a low chuckle. "Easy there, sweetheart," he murmurs, nuzzling your neck. He nips gently at your neck, soothing the sting with another soft kiss. His hands roam up your back, tracing the curve of your spine through the light fabric of your nightgown. His voice is low and gruff as he speaks against your skin. “We should…”

“Yeah…?” You mumble against his neck.

“Go inside...” He trails off as your hips move against him once more, his body instinctively reacting to the innocent gesture. He groans, his forehead dropping to rest against your shoulder. “Before this goes too far on the beach.” He pulls back to look at you, his pupils dilated with desire.

You turn your head to either side, scanning the now deserted beach. The moon is now the only source of light for miles around. “Well, there isn't anyone else here.” You smirk. Your eyes were full and hopeful that Chan would get the hint. The sight of your king sized bed in that luxury suite was almost too much to bear. The thought of “performing” for the first time in a bed felt like too much pressure. But the beach…

He lets out a low laugh, his body shaking slightly beneath yours. He captures your lips in another deep kiss, his hands slipping down to your backside, squeezing gently. As the kiss deepens, he lays you back against the sand, covering your body with his own. You let out a soft whimper as your still shaking hands move across Chan’s broad chest. He captures your wandering hands in one of his own, bringing them up to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. His other hand trails down your side, fingertips grazing the edge of your nightgown. "We can stop at any time," he murmurs, his eyes searching yours.

You take a deep breath. Your eyes flicker from his lips to his eyes as the two of you breathe in unison for a moment. “I trust you.” You murmur.

Chan smiles softly at your words, a genuine warmth in his eyes. Slowly, he tugs at the hem of your nightgown, pulling it up and over your head. He takes a moment to admire your form in the moonlight, his hands skimming reverently over your dips and curves. “Beautiful.”

Your face turns a deep shade of red as Chan’s eyes roam over your naked form. Your hands move to cover your face almost reflexively.

"Don't," he says softly, gently pulling your hands away from your face. “Don’t hide from me, my love. You’re absolutely beautiful.” He leans down to capture one of your rosy peaks in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the bud. Your back lifts up and off the sand at the new sensation. Your legs already begin to spread apart from the heat that is growing. He lavishes attention on your breasts, alternating between soft suckles and gentle nips. His hand trails down your stomach, fingers splaying across your lower abdomen. He kisses a path down your body, his destination clear as he settles between your thighs. "I want to taste you,”

You bite your lip and nod your head softly. “No one has ever…”

Chan looks up at you, his eyes dark with desire and tenderness. "Then let me be the first, and the last." He dips his head, his tongue parting your folds in a slow, deliberate lick. He groans at your taste, the sound vibrating against your most sensitive flesh. He takes his time exploring you with his mouth, learning every inch of you, committing your responses to memory. He focuses on your clit, circling the bud with the tip of his tongue before suckling gently. His hands grip your hips, holding you steady as he pleasures you.

Your head falls back and presses into the sand beneath you. Your moans mix and mingle with the sounds of the waves crashing. He continues his sensual assault, alternating between long, slow licks and quick flicks of his tongue. He can feel you tensing, your thighs beginning to quake around his head. He doubles his efforts, determined to bring you to your peak. “That's it, my love…”

Your hips move in a new and unexplored rhythm against Chan's face as you work to ride out your orgasm. He holds you steady as you ride out your high, his tongue lapping up your release. He gentles his touch as you come down, placing soft kisses on your inner thighs. He crawls up your body, capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

He lets out a low groan as your heat presses against the hard ridge of his arousal still confined in his pants. He reaches between your bodies to unfasten his pants, shoving them down his hips. He lifts your hips, positioning himself at your entrance. He captures your gaze, his eyes seeking yours.

Everything stopped for a moment. Even the waves seemed to silence. Like the entire world was waiting to see what you would do next. The sand still felt warm beneath your head and the towel brushed against your skin as you opened your legs wider. An open invitation for Chan to take you to that new place. For him to be your first and your last. With a gentle yet firm thrust, he buries himself inside you, stretching you in ways you never thought possible. He pauses for a moment, savoring the feeling of being completely inside you. Then he begins to move, his hips rocking against yours in a slow, deliberate rhythm. “Mine.”

You lie still at first, your entire body unsure of what was going to happen next. But the familiar sensation of pleasure washed over you again. The waves crashed against the sand again. Chan kisses you tenderly, his touch becoming slow and languid. He takes his time, his hands caressing your body as he moves inside of you with slow, deep thrusts. Two souls once separate we're becoming one. The cool air danced around you as the two of you, bathed in moonlight, found a new home within each other.

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[piastrisun]

vortex.

pairings: max verstappen + fem reader.

summary: love brought you together, but the dreams that once aligned have drifted apart, leaving only the ache of goodbye.

genre: angst.⠀word count: 5.2k.⠀ warning: cursing.

notes: named after the song ‘vortex’ by lizzy mcalpine. no use of y/n or any names at all.

you sit curled up on the couch, knees pulled close to your chest, fingers nervously biting into your nails as your leg bounces uncontrollably. the weight of what you’re about to do presses heavily on your chest, almost suffocating. the sound of footsteps grows louder, each step tightening the knot in your stomach. max is about to walk through the door, and your anxiety spikes beyond what you're used to. he’s close now, the key turning in the lock, and your heart races, your pulse thrumming in your ears. you’ve rehearsed this conversation in your head a hundred times, but now, the reality of it seems so much harder, so much more painful. you can't avoid this feeling any longer—it’s overwhelming, consuming. you can’t keep burying the sadness that's been weighing on your heart.

when the door opens, max steps inside, carrying that same easy smile he always does when he comes home to you. the warmth in his eyes is enough to make you falter, but you push the feeling down, steeling yourself. you stand up slowly, nerves tightening every muscle in your body.

"hey, love," he says, his voice soft and affectionate. but then, he sees the way you're standing—rigid, tense. the light smile on his face wavers. his brows knit together in concern. "what’s wrong?" he asks, stepping toward you, his hand instinctively reaching out as if to comfort you.

you exhale shakily, eyes darting to the floor as you brace yourself. but you gather the strength to look at him. "this isn’t working anymore," you say, the words trembling on your lips.

max stops in his tracks, confusion flashing across his face. "what are you talking about?" he asks, his voice a mix of disbelief and worry.

you take another breath, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to shield against the pain you’re about to unleash. "this," you say, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. "i can’t do it anymore, max. it’s killing me."

he moves closer, kneeling in front of you, his hands gently finding your knees as he searches your face. "what? us?" his voice is laced with disbelief.

you’re shaking now, your chest heaving with each breath. "you know what i’m talking about, we’re stuck." your voice is barely a whisper, full of the heartache you’ve been trying to hide.

"no." his voice is hoarse, strained. "no, you can’t… you can’t do this to me. i thought we were okay. i thought we were—" he swallows hard, his voice breaking. "i thought we were in love." his grip on your knees tightens, not painfully but desperate, as if holding onto you physically can stop what’s happening.

his words hurt because they’re true. you are in love, you’ve been in love with him for years. and that’s the worst part. love isn’t enough to stop the ache that’s been building in your chest for months, the feeling that you’re both watching life pass you by while everyone around you seems to be moving forward.

"and we are," you choke out, wiping at your tears with shaking fingers. "i do love you, max." you look at him through the blur of your tears, your voice trembling.

max’s eyes widen, his voice rising in desperation. "then what’s the problem? what did i do wrong?" he barely pauses, his words tumbling out as his mind races for answers. "how do i fix this?"

you cut him off quickly, raising a hand. "max, wait—"

but he doesn’t stop. he keeps talking, his voice layering over yours, growing louder with each syllable. "how do i fix this? tell me, what can i do to make things right?"

your breath hitches as a tightness coils around your chest, frustration and sadness twisting like knots in your stomach. you press your lips together, eyes searching his face, but all you see is his desperation, his fear. you drop your hand, letting it fall limply by your side. "max, please."

but he presses on, determined, searching for a way to pull you both back from the edge. "no, tell me. how do i fix this? what do i have to do for us to be okay?" his voice rises, sharp with panic and an unrelenting need to find an answer.

you shake your head, swallowing down the lump in your throat. the ache makes it hard to speak, harder still to explain something you can barely untangle yourself. "it’s not like that."

"then tell me, for god’s sake!" his voice cracks, his eyes pleading. max’s voice cracks, breaking the last barrier between him and the vulnerability spilling out of him. "talk to me!"

you lean back into the couch, running your hands through your hair, your own frustration reaching a peak. "all our friends are moving on, getting married, starting families, and we’re still stuck here. max, we’re still in the same place we started at."

max stares at you, his face full of confusion and hurt. "why didn’t you tell me?" his voice softens slightly, disbelief flooding his tone. "why didn’t you just talk to me instead of showing up one day and saying you want us to be over?"

tears prick your eyes again, and you blink them back furiously, trying to maintain some semblance of control. "because i didn’t want to hurt you."

"well, you are now," he says, his voice quieter, more vulnerable, almost fragile. his words cut deep, you flinch at the truth of them, your chest tightening with guilt.

"i just—." your voice trembles, barely holding steady as you shake your head. "i can’t keep pretending i’m okay with this. i’m not, max. and i don’t know how to keep going when it feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives and we’re just… stuck."

max’s eyes widen, the panic flickering. he looks at you, the desperation in his eyes returning. "but we can fix this, right? we can find a way through this. together."

you hesitate, your heart aches, each beat dragging slower, weighed down by the reality you’ve both been avoiding. "do you really think we can?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. "with the way our lives are?"

his eyes narrow, and he shifts slightly, defensiveness creeping into his tone. "is this about my job? about how much i have to travel?"

you sigh, biting your lip, feeling the frustration rising within you again. "max—"

he cuts you off, his voice rising, his frustration bubbling to the surface. "you told me you were fine with it," he says, almost accusingly, his eyes searching yours for the reassurance you used to give so easily. "you said it wasn’t an issue."

"i was!" your voice breaks, your voice rising with the frustration that’s been holding back for so long. "five years ago, i was fine with it. i wasn’t lying when i told you i could handle it."

the fight draining from him just as quickly as it had built, his eyes locking with yours, and for a moment, he looks like he’s bracing himself for a blow. "then what changed?" he asks, his voice barely audible now, like he’s terrified of what your answer might be.

you sigh, your hands dropping to your lap. "nothing, max. that’s the problem. we’re still in the same place we were years ago, and you know it." the weight of the truth hangs in the air between you. max says nothing, his face clouded with a kind of quiet realisation. deep down, he knows you’re right.

after a long silence, he speaks, his voice shaky with emotion. "i’ll retire," he says, his eyes wide, as if the solution has just dawned on him. "i’ll quit my job and be here full-time."

“no.” you take a deep breath, wiping away a tear before meeting his eyes. "stop pretending we can fix this by changing something on the surface. you quitting your job—it’ll make you unhappy eventually. and we’ll end up right where we are now, only more frustrated and more lost."

max’s expression falters as your words sink in. he looks away, his jaw tightening as he struggles to come up with a response, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "but what if it’s the only way?" his voice is barely above a whisper, a trace of desperation lingering in the air.

your heart sinks at the offer, and you shake your head, tears welling in your eyes again. "no, max. that’s not what i mean."

he looks at you, his face falling as he realizes just how far apart the two of you have drifted. his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tries to process your words. his hands drop from your knees, and for the first time, he looks uncertain, as if the ground beneath him is shifting. "then what do you need?" his voice is quieter now, almost a plea, as though he’s searching for something to hold onto.

you close your eyes for a moment, trying to find the right words, but all that comes is a deep, aching sadness. "i don’t know, max," you whisper, your voice trembling. "i really don’t know."

the silence between you stretches, heavy and suffocating. he runs a hand through his hair, frustration clear in his every movement. "but we love each other," he says, his voice breaking slightly, like he’s clinging to that one truth. "isn’t that enough?”

you open your eyes and look at him, the man you’ve loved for so long, and your heart aches because a part of you wants to believe it could be. but love, as much as it binds you together, can’t erase the feeling that’s been gnawing at you for months, the feeling that you’re both stuck in a place you don’t belong.

“i wish it was,” you finally say, your voice soft, almost apologetic as your eyes drift away from his. “i wish love could fix everything. but it doesn’t change the fact we... we’re just standing still while everyone else is moving forward.”

max shakes his head, disbelief etched in every line of his face. “that’s not true. we’ve built a life together. we’ve made memories. we’ve—”

“but what’s next, max?” you interrupt gently, your heart pounds heavily in your chest. you finally look back at him, your eyes searching for something—anything—that might tell you he understands. “what are we building towards? because right now, i feel like we’re just watching everyone else from the sidelines.”

his jaw tightens as he stares at you, as though trying to figure out how to fix something he didn’t realize was broken. “we can make plans.” his voice growing firmer, almost as if he’s grasping at a lifeline. “we can take the next step if that���s what you need. we’ll talk about marriage, about a family. we can do all those things.”

your chest tightens at the sound of it—the promises, the hope. for a brief second, you almost want to believe him. “it’s not that simple.”

“why not?” his frustration is back, a hum of impatience in his voice. he steps closer, his eyes imploring. “why can’t we just talk about it and make a plan? we’ve been through so much together. we can do this too.”

you stand up from the couch, the weight of the conversation pressing down on you, suffocating, and you need space, air—anything to escape the intensity that’s threatening to crush you. “because it’s not just about making a plan,” you pace for a moment before turning back to face him, your heart heavy, your throat dry. “because we haven’t talked about it for years, max. we haven’t been moving toward anything. we’ve just been… here. in the same place.”

he watches you closely, his brows furrowed in confusion and concern. then he stands up too, his body moving in sync with yours, as if afraid to let the distance between you widen further. “i didn’t realise you felt like this for so long.” he says, his voice cracking. “you never said anything. i thought we were happy.”

“we were,” you admit, your voice a fragile whisper that barely makes it past your lips. “but time passed, and i started to feel like this. and i didn’t know how to tell you without hurting you.”

max steps so close now that you can feel the heat of his body. “i get that,” he murmurs, his voice raw with emotion. “but you’re hurting both of us.”

tears begin to well up in your eyes again, and you quickly look away, trying to hold them back. but they slip through the cracks, the weight of everything finally too much to bear. “i know!” you say, your voice rising with frustration. you wipe at your eyes, your hands trembling. “but i don’t know how else to make you see. i love you, but we’re not okay anymore.”

he takes a small step back, his hands falling to his sides, fingers clenching and unclenching as if he’s trying to grasp something solid, something to anchor him. “why didn’t you tell me before?” he asks softly as he looks at you like he’s trying to piece together everything that has brought you both here.

you inhale sharply, feeling the pull of his question. “because i didn’t want to pressure you,” you reply, your throat tight with emotion. “i didn’t want to put weight on you or your career. that maybe i’d put an expectation on you that you might not be ready for. i thought the topic would come up at some point, and it didn't. then i just knew, we want different things.”

max watches you in silence for a moment, absorbing your words. “i never realised you were carrying all of that on your own.” his voice filled with regret. “if i had known earlier... i don’t know, maybe things would be different now.”

a heavy silence falls between you both, the weight of his words settling like a stone in your chest. you swallow hard, your mind racing with a thousand unsaid things, things you had kept buried for so long. a part of you wants to reach out to him, to tell him it wasn’t entirely his fault, but your hands stay at your sides, frozen in indecision. would things be different now if he knew? for your own good you want to convince yourself the answer is yes. and still, you know a ‘yes’ wouldn’t be the right answer.

“you’d be settling for something you don’t want—marriage and a family,” she says, her voice tight with frustration. “and if we waited, i’d be settling for something i don’t want either.” she pauses, her eyes searching his face for any sign of understanding. “i don’t want to force you into a life you’re not ready for, just like i don’t want to keep holding on to something that’s only going to hurt us both in the end.” her voice softens, a tinge of sadness creeping in. “we both deserve more than just... settling.”

he shifts uncomfortably, his hands resting on his knees as he looks down at the floor, unable to meet her eyes. "but what if—" he starts, his voice low, uncertain, "what if i could change? what if i’m just scared right now and..." he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, frustration tightening his features.

she lets out a slow breath, stepping closer, her tone soft yet firm. "max, it’s not about changing. it’s about what you really want, deep down. i don’t want you to wake up one day feeling trapped, regretting this. and i don’t want to be waiting for something that might never happen."

he finally looks up at her, his eyes clouded with conflict. "but i don’t want to lose you," he says quietly, almost a whisper.

her heart aches at his words, but she keeps her gaze steady. "i don’t want to lose you either," she admits, her voice wavering for a moment. "but we can’t hold on just because we’re afraid of what happens if we let go." her hand brushes his arm gently, a bittersweet touch, like saying goodbye without the words. "you deserve to figure out what you really want. we both do."

the distance grows not just physically but emotionally between you two. the space between feels like a chasm you’re no longer sure how to cross. he reaches out, his hand finding yours, his grip tight but full of tenderness. “don’t do this,” he pleads. “we can figure it out. we’ll talk more, we’ll make plans. we’ll take the next step, whatever that looks like. just don’t walk away from this.”

his hand rests gently on yours, his touch warm, a reminder of everything you've built together—the good, the bad, the memories that tether you to this moment. for a brief second, you want to surrender. you want to believe that love, his love, will be enough to carry you both through this storm. but something inside you resists, a quiet voice that whispers the truth you’ve been avoiding. it’s not enough. “what if taking the next step isn’t enough?” you ask, your voice small.

his hand tightens around yours for a moment, but there’s a hesitation in his eyes—a fear of what’s to come. “what do you mean?” he asks, his voice gentle now.

you take a breath, your eyes searching his, hoping, needing him to understand, to feel what you’ve been feeling. “i mean… what if we go through all the motions? we move forward, make these big decisions. what if we’re just stuck, and no matter what we do, we won’t move forward like we’re supposed to?” the weight of your confession lingers between you both, thick, like the air before a storm.

his face falls, and he pulls back slightly, the warmth of his hand fading as reality starts to sink in. "we’ve been together five years," he says, his tone almost defensive, like he’s trying to remind you of everything you’ve shared. "we’re fine. we’re happy, right?"

you look away, your chest tightening at the weight of those words. five years. half a decade, and yet here you are, still talking about ‘someday.’ still waiting for the proposal that never came. "but we’re not, are we?" you shake your head, your voice breaking as you continue. "all of our friends are getting engaged, starting families. and we’re… we’re just here. stuck in the same place we’ve been for years."

he opens his mouth to say something, but you push forward before he can interrupt. "i’ve been patient, waiting for us to get on the same page, but… i can’t do it anymore. i want more than this. i want to get married. i want to have a family. i need that. and you—you’re still not ready. after all this time, you’re still not there."

"you know i love you. you know i want to be with you." his face softens, but there’s a flicker of panic in his eyes. "i thought we were taking things at our own pace. i didn’t realise—" he pauses, his hands reaching out to yours again, desperate. "i just thought we had time."

your heart clenches, the familiar ache spreading through you. "i love you too. but i need more. i’ve tried to wait for you to catch up, to be okay with the pace we’re going, but watching everyone else move forward while we stay stuck—it hurts. it’s like i’m always waiting for you to be ready, and i don’t know if you ever will be."

max’s face falls, and you can see the moment they hit him. he lets go of your hand, taking a small step back as if the distance will protect him from the truth you’ve just laid bare. "you really think that, don’t you?" he asks, his voice hollow now.

"i don’t know, i just know that i’ve been feeling this way for a long time." you admit, your voice raw with emotion. you look down at your hands, struggling to meet his eyes as you speak. "every time i see everyone else having all of it, i realise more and more that i want that too. but you… you never bring it up. we’re only talking about it now because i brought it up. not because it’s actually in our plans of our relationship. and i can’t keep waiting for something that might never happen." your words are gentle but pointed.

he stands there, motionless, as if your words have drained the energy from his body. his shoulders slump, and for the first time, you see the exhaustion written on his face. "so what happens now?" he asks quietly.

you wipe at your eyes, trying to steady your voice. "i don’t know exactly," you say again, your words thick with uncertainty. you wish you could give him more, offer him some kind of direction, but you’re just as lost as he is. "but something has to change."

max looks at you one more time, his eyes full of sadness, and for the first time in the entire conversation, he doesn’t have an answer. he stares at you, his confusion morphing into anguish. his voice cracks as he whispers, "i don’t understand anything," and before he can stop it, tears begin to fall, his chest heaving with emotion.

the moment you see him break, your own resolve crumbles. tears stream down your face as well, and for a few moments, you both stand there, broken together.

“i know it’s hard,” you say, your voice barely steady through the sobs. “and believe me, this is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to say in my life. but you know it’s the right thing.” your voice wavers, but the truth lingers in the air between you.

max wipes at his eyes furiously, shaking his head. “but i don’t want this,” he says, his voice thick with desperation.

“and you think i do?” you reply, your voice rising but still gentle, the sharpness cutting through the tension between you, showing that you’re not angry at him. “do you think i want to walk away from the only person i’ve ever loved? from the man i imagined marrying, sharing everything with?” your voice rises, raw and emotional, and max looks down, shaking his head as if trying to deny the truth, his eyes fixed on the floor.

for a moment, the room is filled with nothing but the sound of his quiet sobs, tears falling freely from his eyes, splashing against the floor. he’s silent, his tears falling freely. the sight of him—so vulnerable, so lost—makes your heart ache in a way you can’t describe. you feel torn between staying in this familiar pain and walking away for the sake of your own heart.

max finally lifts his eyes to meet yours again, his face wet with tears. “i don’t know what to do,” he admits quietly. “i don’t know how to stop this.”

you take a shaky breath, stepping closer to him, feeling the overwhelming sadness of this moment wash over you, it’s inescapable. “neither do i, max,” your voice small. “but staying like this… it’s not fair to either of us.”

but there’s nothing to grasp onto anymore—not for either of you. he finally speaks, his voice low, almost like he’s talking more to himself than to you. “i thought we had more time. i didn’t think... i didn’t realise this was such a deal-breaker for you.” he looks up, the vulnerability in his eyes disarming, but the ache in your chest only deepens.

you shift slightly, wiping at your eyes. "i didn’t want it to be," you admit, your voice breaking just enough for him to notice. "but it’s been years, and every time i tried to talk about the future, never came to anything.”

he closes his eyes, exhales sharply, his breath hitching as he struggles to contain his emotions. “so, what now?” he asks, his voice cracking with desperation. “we just… end it? after everything?”

tears blurring your vision as you shake your head, your heart breaking with every word. “i didn’t want to end us,” you say, your voice quivering with emotion. “but i’m not okay with where we are. i want more than what we have. and if you’re not ready for that, if you’re not ever going to be ready for that... then what are we doing?” your voice wavers, each word a knife to your chest as your decision was turning into a reality.

max looks at you, still crying, he reaches out for your hand, his grip tight—desperate—but still full of love. “we can figure this out, maybe we need more time,” he says again, softer this time, but there’s a glimmer of hope in his voice, a small light in the darkness. “please.”

your heart pulls in two directions, the weight of everything pressing down on you from all sides. the years of stagnation, the longing for something more—something that feels out of reach—it all settles over you. “then maybe i’m not the person you should be with,” you fix your gaze on his bright blue eyes that you adore deeply, shaking your head slowly, your voice breaking. “i can’t be the one waiting forever. i’ve already been waiting.”

his hand tightens around yours as he searches your face for something—anything—to convince you to stay. but in your eyes, he sees the truth, and his face falls once again, now knowing that nothing he says can change what’s already in motion.

"i really want to fix this,” he says, his voice barely audible now, as though he’s losing faith in his own words. he closes his eyes, leaning into your touch for just a second before pulling back, his face tight with emotion. "i wish i knew how. i wish i could give you what you need. i really do."

"i wish you could too," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. and with that, the final thread between you seems to snap, the silence settling in like a goodbye neither of you wanted to say out loud.

and you don’t have an answer for him either. both of you crying, both of you hurting, and the stark understanding that sometimes love, no matter how deep, isn’t enough to fix everything settles heavily between you. the room is suffused with a crushing silence, the weight of the moment almost unbearable, the acknowledgement that this might be the end.

max stands with his shoulders slumped, his face streaked with tears, his voice barely above a whisper. “i guess... this is it,” he says, the words heavy with defeat. “we’re really doing this.”

you nod, your tears falling relentlessly, each drop a testament to the heartache you both share. “yeah,” you manage, your voice breaking. “we are.”

max’s anguish is palpable. his hands desperately shaking as he tries to wipe away the tears that won’t stop coming. “i didn’t want it to end like this. i never wanted it to end at all,” he says, his voice cracking with every word. “i thought we’d find a way to fix this. i thought we had so much time left.”

you place a trembling hand on his arm, the gesture both a comfort and a farewell. “yeah, so did i,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “but we’re not on the same page anymore.”

max’s gaze, filled with a mix of pleading and resignation, still meets yours. “yeah,” he says quietly, his voice hollow. “i’m sorry, i really am.”

his apology catches you off guard, and you realise that, despite everything, some part of you needed to hear those words. you take a deep breath, steeling yourself against the finality of it all. “i’ll pack up my things.”

“no, i think i should be the one to go,” he says softly, his voice filled with sorrow. “take the flat. i’ll have someone come by later to pick up my stuff.”

you shake your head slowly, the tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. “i don’t want to say goodbye,” you whisper, your voice cracking. “but it’s the right thing to do.”

“please, not now.” he pleads, his voice breaking as he pulls you closer. “please, not now.” he repeats, his voice lowers.

you can feel his pain matching your own, but the weight of your decision lingers in the silence between you both. “max, we have to,” you say, your voice breaking under the strain.

he pulls you into a final, tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you with a mix of desperation and sorrow. the hug is filled with the ache of everything that has led to this moment, the finality of the separation settling in as you hold each other tightly.

“you’re right. i’m so sorry, for everything.” he says quietly, his voice trembling, his head resting against yours and the tears falling off his face and yours, the quiet sobs under of what used to be a warm home. “i see now that this isn’t fair to you.”

you pull away after a few minutes and look at him, your heart breaking further at his words. “thank you, for understanding,” you whisper, your voice choked with emotion. “it means a lot to hear you say that.”

max nods, his expression one of resigned acceptance. “i hope you find what you’re looking for. i mean it.” he says softly, his voice cracking with the weight of finality.

“i hope you do too.” you reply, your own voice breaking as you turn to leave. you offer him the most genuine smile that could have come out of you in a moment of so much pain. after all, you couldn’t stop loving him just like that. “goodbye, max.”

each step away from the flat feels like an immense effort, the weight of your shared memories and the pain of parting settling heavily on your shoulders. you watch max walk away, your eyes filled with a mixture of hope and heartbreak, silently wishing for one last look from you as a sign that this isn’t the end.

his desire to turn around and see you one last time clashes with the reality of the moment, and he does. as he turns back, his eyes search yours, hoping to find a flicker of what once was. your heart races at the sight of him, a mixture of longing and sorrow washing over you. with one last shared look—filled with all the love, regret, and heartbreak—you silently acknowledge that this is truly the end. and even with that, in that fleeting moment, a quiet wish lingers between you, a shared yearning that this look signifies more than just farewell.

he finally exits the flat, closing the door behind him with a finality that echoes through your heart, the reality of the breakup envelops you. the flat, now a silent witness to the end of what was once a shared life, feels cold and empty. both of you are left in the aftermath of raw grief, each step away a painful acknowledgment of the dreams and hopes now irrevocably lost.

©⠀piastrisun original work. please don’t translate, claim or repost any of my writing, 24’.

[astaroth1357]

How to Social:

*MC and the brothers are in the HoL dining room for breakfast. MC has only known the boys for two days now, so they're still a fly on the wall to most of their interactions. Incidentally, they're sat across from Leviathan today, watching him fiddle on his phone...*

*in its Ruri-chan case*

*with a Ruri-chan charm*

*wearing a Ruri-chan shirt*

*and watching a comfort episode of The Magical Ruri Hana: Demon Girl*

MC [In Their Head]: Okay so. I need to break the ice.

MC: I read the plot summary of the Ruri Hana anime on the wiki last night so I understand the premise...

MC: I know the names of a few characters and the basic plot structure of the episodes...

MC: I should try to talk to him about it now.

MC: ... But what about that whole controversy over the dub and the sub versions? The forums said that they're practically different shows! How do I know which one he saw? What if I get it wrong??

MC: Maybe I should do more research...

MC: NO! I want him to introduce the show to me properly! I don’t want to come off like I know more than he does...

MC: But what if I say something wrong and it totally pisses him off?? He may never talk to me again!!

MC: DAMMIT HOW DO I TALK TO THIS MAN?!?

*and then, much to MC's dismay, Levi finishes his buffo eggs and juice then gets up to leave the table. Not a word exchanged between them all breakfast*

MC: ... *sigh*

MC: There’s always tomorrow....

[imtryingbuck]

Told you I’ll always come back

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: 4 years ago Y/n was Bucky’s fiancé and the team thought she betrayed them

Word count: 7,772

Warnings: angst. reader can teleport ~sorta~. reader also rolls her eyes like a trillion times. major character death. swearing. pregnancy. small mention of child birth. mention of cheating. tiny mention of sexual assault. mention of Sharon (I really need to get off the sharon-hate train) guns. gunshot wounds. sad all around

Translation: голубица - dove (if wrong please let me know)

Masterlist

When Fury rang her begging asking for her to come back for one final mission, she agreed with a condition, she’d bring her old team with her. Fury accepted.

That had been two weeks ago.

Landing back in New York brought back many memories, some good - some bad and some she wish she couldn’t remember.

“Hi can you take me to Avengers Tower please?” Getting into the cab she tried desperately to calm down her nerves.

The sky was a visual of her emotions.

Dull.

Standing outside the huge impressive building she felt like she was going to be sick. It’s been four years since she was last here.

“Hi I have an appointment with Director Fury at 12” 

“That’s fine, take a seat and I’ll let him know you’ve arrived”

“Thank you” She didn’t listen to Haley the receptionist, choosing to stand instead.

Fury came down not three minutes later with a small smile on his face. “I’ve missed you - no touching I know”

“Let’s get this over with Nick. Sooner the better”

The man knew not to try and annoy her anymore so he lead her to the elevators, going up.

Her stomach squeezed tight at the sight of her former team huddled on one side of the table, with their back to her.

“Take a seat” Fury whispered in her ear.

The moment that they saw her they were already shouting out their protests, she ignored them and listened to Fury by taking a seat to sit in.

“Calm down everyone. Now!” Fury slams his hand on the table causing everyone to fall silent. “Now, Y/n has agreed to help us with a missi-“

“We won’t work with her Fury.” Steve interrupts.

“You have no other option. No one else will or can help other then Y/n”

“We’ll just do it ourselves” Tony shrugs.

“No. This is happening, if none of you can play nice then you’ll be sacked.”

“You can’t sack us” Steve says with a scoff.

“I can and I will. Now Y/n I sent you over the details of what we’re up against, did you read it?”

“Yes”

“Your team, have you briefed them on everything?”

“Yes Fury, and yes they’re happy to help”. She rolls her eyes at Tony who mocks what she had just said.

“You said in the email that you’ve already paired people up from both teams, do you want to share it?” Like her Fury completely ignores Tony’s childish behaviour.

Sliding over a piece of paper towards her former boss and friend she continues to talk “When you see them in training and you don’t agree with my decision feel free to change it-”

“Oh we will do sweetheart”

Once again ignoring Tony “You said that my team will be allowed to stay here, in the tower?”

“Yeah Peppers done your rooms up herself, you should be grateful”

Turning her head towards the man she saw as a father figure not that long ago “When I see her I’ll give her my thanks.” Sighing she addressed the rest “You have a problem with me, so you will take it out on me. Not my team, but me. Do not think for one second that just because of our history together you can treat my guys like shit. They’re good, hardworking fighters. Fury we have two weeks to train for this mission and if I find out my team isn’t being respected or treated fairly I will not hesitate to pull them and myself out, is that understood?”

Fury’s eyebrow raise as he nods “I completely understand Y/n, welcome home”.

“My team will be here tomorrow at 12, I’ll see you then”.

“Don’t you want to know what room you’re going to be in?” Fury asked.

“No, I’m not staying here.”

“Where?”

“Not here. See you tomorrow Fury”.

Making a beeline for the elevator she takes her leave, it’s once she’s outside of the building she gasps for air.

After her shower and nighttime routine she climbs into bed, her head was throbbing but all she was hoping for was a good night sleep.

It didn’t happen.

“Tony splash me with water one more time you’ll regret it!” She laughs.

“What are you going to do huh?”

“I’ll-I’ll smash up all your vinyl albums”

“Okay okay I’ll stop”

•••

“Steve wait up I’ve only got little legs”

“Sorry.”

“Can’t you just carry me?”

“Nope, come on we’re nearly there.”

•••

“Y/n will you marry me?”

“Yes, Bucky I’ll marry you”

•••

“Natty get your bum out of bed”

“Don’t want too”

“Okay, I’ll come and cuddle with you”

“Yess!”

•••

“Y/n it’s an emergency come quick”

“Sam what’s happening?”

“Come!”

She walked in on Tony fast asleep on Bucky’s shoulder.

•••

“Wand I love you, I’m gonna marry you instead of Bucky”

“Y/n/n your drunk”

“I know”

“Why you sad for?”

“I don’t know”

•••

“Bruce turn into Hulk so I can beat him up”

“Why do you want to beat him up?”

“Because… leave me alone”

•••

“Thor guess what?”

“What?”

“Your so beautiful and I hope you so much happiness”

“La-Lady Y/n,give me a hug”

•••

Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of-

Gasping for breath, she sat up in bed. It’s been almost two years since she last had a dream turned nightmare about her former team.

The red numbers on the clock stated it was 4:33 in the morning, laying back down she grabbed the remote and turned on the telly, there was no way she was getting any more sleep now.

Getting to the Tower a little bit earlier, she sat in her car waiting for her team to arrive. An hour later a text message popped up from her colleague and confidant stating they had arrived she got out of her car.

Greeting them all and introducing them to Fury who said to her.

“You could of come inside you know”

“I didn’t want to” Leaving him to sigh in response.

Introductions between both teams were done and it was straight onto business.

“So what powers do you lot have then?” Tony asks.

“None. We’re all human, Marley’s a witch though” Douglas your closest friend replied.

“Oh. So why are you here if you don’t have abilities?”

“We follow Y/n wherever she goes”

“Why? She’s a tra-“

“Tony enough” Fury interrupted. “Now on to business, the organisation going by The Lords have been on our radar for quite some time now, recently they’ve been getting more cocky” Fury turns around to face the screen, image after image of buildings up in flames, innocent people covered in blood, dead bodies littering the streets were shown to them. 

“We need to have them stopped. In just over two weeks they’ve planned to attack a government base, but we’re going to be taking the fight to them.”

“How?” Colleen - the woman who saved Y/n’s life ten years ago - asks.

“We’ve got their location-“

“Why don’t you just get them” Douglas nods his head to the team on the other side of the table “just to drop a bomb on the bad guys?”

“We need them alive so we can question them”

“Okay… but why all this man power?” Marco says.

“What is it with you lot always asking questions” Nat says with an eye roll.

Y/n sighed, looked at Fury “Marco has a point but I already know the answer, so I’ll be the one that fills him in. We should probably start the training, everyone knows what this missio-sorry I need to take this”. Getting up she answers her phone “Hi baby-“

Bucky hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her from the moment she sat down. Her hair is so much shorter than it used to be, it suits her. A long jagged scar went across her cheek was new, he wondered how it happened. Seeing her sit there hands placed in her lap, her shoulders tensed up and a blank expression on her face makes him conflicted on his emotions towards the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with.

His heart tinged with sadness when he saw the small incrusted diamond ring with two small love hearts sitting on her finger, the finger his ring for her use to take up residence.

He wishes he could take her hand in his so he could rub his thumb over her knuckles, just like he use to whenever she was in that position as he knew it meant she was uncomfortable.

But he knew she didn’t have the right to his affection anymore not after she betr-

His thoughts are cut off as she stands, bringing her phone to her ear, greeting the person on the other end of the line with “Hi baby”.

A scowl made its way onto his face. Not that he had any right to do so.

“How are you? And don’t say you’re okay because I know better love” Douglas’s rough Scottish accent comes from next to her.

“I’m… I’ll be fine Doug, the sooner we’re done with this the sooner everything will be okay”

“Yo-you don’t have to do this, me and the team will tak-“

“Don’t. Everything will be fine after I’ve done this Dougie, you and the guys will be fine.”

They sit in silence. Doug didn’t like the plan she was going through with but he’s known her for years and knows she isn’t going to change her mind.

After training with the Avengers Y/n left, despite Fury telling her to stay and have dinner with them. Douglas left straight after the awkwardness of dinner was done, and being the only person who knew where she was staying, he headed straight there.

She brought this house for her and Bucky to live in after they retired, which they both agreed would be just before they married.

The home was beautiful, four bedrooms with two bathrooms, a large living room, kitchen with a pantry off the side of it, dinning room, an office that she had already planned to turn into a man cave for him. Two car garage, backyard was huge with a beautiful willow tree - as soon as she saw it she knew she had to have the house.

Bucky never knew about the house, she wanted to surprise him. It never happened obviously, and with a heavy heart she rented the house out.

The previous renters contract was up a month before she got the phone call from Fury, and there was no way she was going to stay in the tower. So she went to the place she wanted to call home.

“Have you spoke to them?” Doug asked breaking the silence.

“Yeah, driving Fran up the wall”. She laughs causing him to join in.

“She loves them though” He chuckles.

Nodding with a soft smile, “You should get back it’s getting late, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“You’re right” Standing up he pulls her into a hug, kissing her forehead he whispers “Don’t push me away love, not now”

That night she had the same dream as the night before, waking up at the exact same time again.

A week had been and gone, training was going good for both teams; apart for her. None of the Avengers held back, her body throbbed and ached after each session.

Today was the only day where Fury had to step in, seeing Y/n struggle against Wanda’s powers, he had to stop it.

Wanda had Y/n pinned against the wall and slowly dragging her up it, the whole room went quiet. The Avengers moved closer to the redhead whilst Y/n’s team moved closer to her.

“Mar-Marley don’t!” Y/n managed to rasp out to her friend. 

Marley though small was deadly, her powers being similar to that of Wanda’s “She’s crushing your chest!” She shot back.

“I-it’s ok-okay”

“Wanda put her down!” Fury demanded.

“No. She’s a traitor, she betrayed all of us”

“Wanda!” Fury started to get nervous for the woman being pinned to the wall.

When Wanda’s eyes shot towards Marley, Y/n grew scared. She didn’t want either one of them hurting each other. “Marl-Marley stop! T-that’s an or-order!”

“She’s hurting you. And she’s lying!”

“No she isn’t. She’s a traitor” Tony shouted.

“Admit it and I’ll let you go голубица” Wanda smiles.

Even with the pain of her chest being crushed it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the pet name slipping from her former best friends lips.

“Admit. It. Y/n.” Everyone aside from Wanda flinched at the sound of Y/n’s ribs breaking.

Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood. She wasn’t going to give Wanda the satisfaction of seeing or hearing the pain she was going through. She held Wanda gaze, both women refusing to backdown.

“D-Doug…ge-get Marley out of h-here”.

She sees in the corner of her eye Douglas struggling to pull Marley with him. “If the little girl wants to play, let’s do it” Wanda says breaking eye contact with Y/n to look towards Marley.

“No! N-no don’t!”

“Admit it then Y/n, admit to your team that you’re nothing but a liar and a traitor” Wanda screams.

“It wasn’t her!” Fury shouted, taking in a shuddering breath afterwards.

“What?” Steve’s eyes bounce from Y/n to Fury.

“She wasn’t the one who betrayed us.”

“Liar!” Wanda screams again just as she brings Y/n’s body away from the wall, throwing her back into it.

“I’m not lying Maximoff! Now let her go!” Fury shouted.

“Sh-she betrayed u-us!” Y/n’s heart broke at the sight of the tears filling up in Wanda’s eyes.

“She didn’t lass.” Douglas says as he still struggles to gain somewhat of control over Marley. 

The hold on Y/n was released as she drops to the floor gasping for air. Her team run straight over to her as well as Fury who looks over at the other team with disappointment in his eyes.

“I-I’m okay” Y/n mumbles before succumbing to the darkness. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dr Cho asks when she sees Y/n trying to get out of the bed.

“I need to le-leave”

“You’ve just had your breast bone fractured and several ribs broken Y/n. You need to rest”

“I’m leavi-“

“No you’re not love, you need to stay” Douglas speaks from the doorway.

“I-I need to speak to them, it’s six”

“You need rest soldier, come on I’ll even stay with you, it’ll be like old times ay?” He smiled softly at the woman he respected more than anyone.

“Bu-“

“No buts my sweet girl, back in bed now” He gives Helen a nod before climbing into the bed with Y/n. “Get some rest love, I’ve got you”.

The next day Y/n wakes up in an empty hospital bed. Removing the wires from her, she stands up and carefully puts her clothes back on.

She crept out of the room and down the corridor, knowing exactly where she needed to go.

Hearing the raised voices coming from the briefing room, she took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.

“-your concern Scottie”

“It is when the witch tries to kill my friend”.

“Friend” Bucky scoffs.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“I see the way you look at her”

“Don’t be stu-“

“Doug stop.” Y/n says as she walks in.

“What are you doing here? Your meant to be resting”

“I’m fine”.

Marco pulls out a chair for her, gesturing for her to sit smiling at the woman who saved his life time after time.

“I’m going to say what I have to say then I’m leaving, don’t worry Nick my team will still help”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be there, can’t exactly back out of a deal now can I?” Fury’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion and Bucky noticed Douglas tensing at her words.

Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes “Sit or stand I don’t care but here’s the truth- I was the one that did betray you. I’m not sorry either”

“Y/n stop lying!” Fury says.

“…fine. It was Sharon.”

“That’s a lie!” Steve shouts.

“No it’s not. You see Steve, she was fucking you but she wanted your best friend. She wanted me out of the way, I didn’t even know that you lot were branding me as a traitor until Hydra found me several months later. Oh and I also killed Sharon”.

The Avengers sit there searching their memories from four years ago, and sure enough everything they were told was by Sharon.

“Wait what do you mean you killed her?” Steve asks.

“I put a round of bullets into her head, she was there with Hydra when they came knocking” She shrugged.

“But th-then that means you didn’t betray us?” Tony wheezes out.

“I’m many things but I’m loyal to a fault”

“I’m so-“

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any apologies. Not from any of you. Fury I’m gonna go now, I’ll see you on the day of the mission.”

Leaving the room before anyone can say anything she heads back to the house.

*Four years ago.*

The nausea was driving her insane, she was on her way back from a mission with a handful of SHIELD agents who could hear her gagging in the back of the quinjet. Nothing was happening for her though.

“Talk to Cho and see if it’s something you ate or something” Lucas said to her as she came and sat down.

“Yeah I might”

And she did just that, getting off the jet she headed straight to medical bay. Telling Helen all her symptoms the nurse tells her to undo her suit and lay on the bed.

“What the hell is that noise?”

Chuckling “That’s a heartbeat, wait no there’s two. Look-“

“What? How?…What?” She always wanted to be a mum but Bucky thought he couldn’t have children because of what Hydra did to him.

“Two strong hearts, you’re having twins Y/n congratulations darling” Helen beams.

It’s only as she was zipping her suit back up she noticed the small prodding bump. Smiling she walks through the corridors subtly touching her stomach as she goes, reaching the common room she sees her friends - her family.

“Hey, where’s Bucky?” She’s asks.

“He’s in your twos room” Steve says with a smile.

“Okay thanks” Reaching the door to hers and Bucky’s room she didn’t realise that the team had followed her, with a smirk on their faces.

Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of Bucky’s bottom half covered by the quilt moving back and forth and Natasha underneath him with her arms around his neck.

Natasha was the first one to see her, with a smirk playing on her lips she taps Bucky’s shoulder making him look at the doorway. His face completely void of showing any resemblance of emotion.

The team honestly expected Y/n to say anything, something, but not a single word comes from her mouth.

Instead she vanishes into thin air. The only sound for them to hear was her engagement ring clinking off the floor.

*Seven months after.*

Y/n did the most cliche of things, by moving to the middle of nowhere. She had a three bed cottage with acres of land.

It became her sanctuary. The one place she felt at peace, at home.

Most nights she didn’t sleep and if she did she was plagued by the images of Bucky in bed with Natasha. Tossing and turning throughout the night with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, the only thing that she had left in this world was her unborn babies and Roxy the fox that would come to see her every night.

At 8 months pregnant with the twins she was huge. She didn’t know what she was having, nor did she have a scan, which did sadden her. Luckily for her though the pregnancy was going smoothly. 

It was turning ten o’clock at night on a Thursday, she knew something was wrong when Roxy hadn’t showed up. The hairs on her arms stood to attention, Y/n could feel the air changing - becoming toxic.

“Little pig little pig I know you’re in there” A loud rough voice came from outside.

“Whatever you’re selling I’m not buying” She shouted back.

“Not selling anything sweetheart, you’ve got something that belongs to us.” The voice says again causing her to roll her eyes.

Creeping as much as she possibly could with an 8 month pregnancy bump towards the window leaving her to mutter out a quiet ‘fuck’ as she sees the two dozen men outside, armed and ready for a fight. Rolling her eyes once again at the symbol embroidered on their chest of the suits they wore.

Hydra.

She hated that she just couldn’t snap into thin air, more than ever right now. She had tried it a few times - like the time she ventured out in public to go to the store, and she was standing there in the middle of isle three when she had an accident. The most humiliating thing she ever endured. Trying so hard to disappear even as she tried to helped the young woman who worked there clean up her mess.

Even after she left the store without her things she walked as fast as she could to the beat up jeep she had, trying desperately to get it to work, nothing happened.

For weeks after that event she kept trying but always failed. It had only happened once and that was many years ago now, it was when she was shot in the leg. Her emotions were all over the place, she was only fourteen. It hit her that it was because of the twins she couldn-

“Come on Y/n you’ve got no where to run, you’ve got no one to help you, just co-come out”. A new, familiar voice was now heard.

Y/n squinted her eyes thinking of a way to not only protect her babies but the woman who had been her friend for years, the woman who she thought and believed had been abducted by Hydra and was being used to get her.

“Sharon? What are you doing here? Long time no see huh”

“Y/n they promised that they won’t hurt us, just come out”.

‘Think. Think. Oi don’t kick me right now. Come on and think’ repeating softly to herself as she looked around the room. Of course her home was littered with all sorts of weapons and ammunition but she didn’t want to be the first one to shoot just incase Sharon got caught in the crossfire.

“You’ve got five seconds to come out willingly before we start shooting. We don’t need you alive little pig just need that special little thing you stole from Hyd-“

Sharon’s safety wasn’t a priority anymore, not now that Hydra thinks her babies belonged to them. He gets cut off with a bullet in between his eyes.

“Let’s go boys” She shouts as bullets zoomed through the air one straight after the other.

Bullets tore their way all throughout her home, destroying everything she had built for herself and her babies. Holes littering one side of the home.

“No no no not that vas- goddamnit!” She mutters as her favourite vase smashes into tiny little pieces. “Now it’s personal”.

One by one the sound of heavy gunfire became more quieter, until there was only two guns firing.

She grimaces as a bullet skimmed her cheek, she readied herself to shoot again when a bullet was fired.

“Y-Y/n are you hit?” Sharon shouts.

“No, it took you long enough to help out Shaz”

“I’m coming in okay”

Y/n moved away from her position, moving towards the fireplace mantle to pick up a photo of her parents that had been hit when the door came open.

“How did they get you? Are you hurt?” Y/n says with her back to Sharon. “I’ve missed yo-“.

A gun clicking from behind her stopped her words from coming out. Sighing with an eye roll she continues her task of trying to get the glass out of the picture frame. “What are you doing Sharon?”

“What’s so important about you? Why does everyone always want you huh?”

“Hell if I know, nothing special about little ol’ me it’s quite annoying really”.

“What was Simon talking about?” Sharon questions.

“Who the hell is Simon?”

“The leader, the first one you killed”

“Oh him, I’m not sure. Didn’t he tell you when he abducted you?” Y/n could see a glimpse of her friend through the broken glass, gun ever so slightly shaking as her arm starts to tremble.

“They didn’t abduct me, I’ve been working with Hydra for over a three years now.”

It took her by surprise hearing that “Fair enough” is all she says.

“Yep, I told the Avengers that you turned rat and was betraying them and they all believed it”

“Silly twats, aren’t they?” Y/n chuckles.

“Turn around. Slowly and put your hands in the air” Sharon demanded.

“And wave them around like you just don’t care” Y/n sings, as she slowly turned around and raised her hands.

Sharon audibly gasped and stumbled backwards “Yo-you’re pregnant…”

“No shit Sherlock”

“Whose is it?”

“Bucky’s but don’t tell him it’s a secret” She winks.

“You bitch!” The blonde screams “you’ve taken my life!” She starts to pace back and forth, eyes bouncing from the gun to Y/n’s stomach.

“Not yet I haven’t…” Y/n whispers.

“I love him you know! But no he wanted you, you had him and I had to settle for Steve. And now, now you’re having the love of my life’s baby!”

Despite the situation she was in Y/n couldn’t stop the sharp tang in her heart at the sight of the tears gathering in her friends eyes. But just to be a bitch she corrected the blonde “Babies, plural”

“Y-you’re having twins?”

“Yep”

Her throat tightened as she sees Sharon’s finger squeezing on the trigger, both sets of eyes shot straight to the gun as it jams.

It all happened so fast, Y/n grabbed the gun and using the handle to smack Sharon in the face, causing the woman to fall on the floor screaming in pain. Y/n walked past her to leave her home when Sharon’s hand wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her to the ground. Sharon was up first out of the pair and was straddling Y/n back, gripping her hair in a tight vice she raised Y/n’s head before smacking it down. Again and again and again.

Sharon finally gets up kicking Y/n’s side in the process. “I’m going to do the thing I should of done years ago, you ruined my life-“

The blonde gets cut off when Y/n kicks her legs out from underneath her, causing her to fall back down.

“You’re fucking crazy you know that Sharon, Jesus”. Ever so slowly she manages to get up, her hands going to her belly “All this for a man? You’ve really lost your bloody marbles Shaz!”

“It’s Bucky! I love him” Sharon screams.

“Yeah well so did I until I caught him fucking my best friend!” She screamed back.

The pain and confusion flashed over Sharon’s face “No, your lying”

“I’m not. God I wish I was, but nope caught him fucking Natasha”

“He wouldn’t do that to me!”

“You? He was engaged to me, you absolute weirdo. Sharon just stop alright, it’s over I’m done. You want him so badly have at him! I don’t, I don’t want to fight you anymore, so please get up off my floor, stop crying and leave.”

She watches as Sharon picks herself off the ground, who then stops as they both hear that one sound Y/n had been dreading.

Her waters splashing onto the floor.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” She whispers to herself as she looks down at the sight.

With Y/n distracted she didn’t see Sharon standing fully or her running towards her.

The punch to her stomach caused her to stumble backwards, the punch to her cheek that had been sliced open by the bullet from earlier caused her to flinch. The pain in her abdomen intensified as she sees Sharon bending down to grab the gun.

“Told you I was going to end th-“ Sharon says just before she’s cut off with a bullet in between her eyes.

Whether it was because of the pain to her aching body or at the fact she was just made to kill someone she thought was a good friend, her finger wouldn’t stop pulling on the trigger.

Even after the gun kept clicking.

“Stupid bitch you could have just left but no you had to be a cunt” Y/n shouts at the dead body laying in her living room.

Dropping the gun, her hand went in between her thighs, bringing her hand back up her heart dropped at the sight of blood.

Slowly walking to find her phone she dialled the number of the one person she trusted more than anyone in this world.

“Hi love, we’ll b-“

“Doug I-I need you. Babies are comi-“ She cuts herself off when a scream tears its way out.

“We’re on our way!”

“H-hurry.” She says just as she drops the phone as she slides down to the floor.

Doug and Fran arrived as fast as they humanly could. Both of their hearts dropped to the pit of their stomachs when they saw all the bodies lying in her front yard.

Running inside they see the body of a blonde and Y/n, legs open as she births her baby.

“Love we’re here, Doug get towels quickly” Fran’s frantic yet soft voice says.

“I-it’s the second one” and that’s when the ringing of adrenaline fades and was replaced by a cry, when they look to the side they see the tiny body of baby number one.

Neither Fran or Doug moved as they watched their friend deliver her second baby. Neither one of them could wrap their heads around the strength Y/n showed time and time again.

It shouldn’t have surprised them really.

“T-this one’s a girl, what about the other one” Y/n asked, voiced laced with tiredness.

“A boy, he’s a beautiful baby boy” Fran smiles as she picks the still crying baby up, handing him over to his momma.

“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Y/n’s eyes move from her babies to the couple in front of her.

“R-really love? You want to name them after us?” Doug asks with tears in his eyes.

“Of course, you’re their godparents after all”

*two months before Fury rings her*

Y/n makes her way through the busy streets with her head down. She can’t stop the eye roll when she notices the two agents following her.

Slowing her pace she waited for the inevitable to happen.

As the agents got behind her a black van comes skidding past, the sliding door comes open, a sack is placed over her head and she’s pushed in.

“Do you guys want me to act scared or what?”

“Shut up”.

“Feisty”

After a while the van comes to a stop and she’s all but dragged out of it.

When the sack was removed her eyes dart around, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time, she’s in an abandoned warehouse.

“Ah Ross, so good to see you. You know if you wanted to see me so badly you could have just called” She smiles at the man.

“Wanted to surprise you Y/n”

“Oh yeah no I noticed, I was so surprised I didn’t see it coming…notice the sarcasm?”. Her head tilts to the side at the sound of footsteps “Hi Fury”

The man gives her a curt nod “Y/n”

“Wanna tell me why I’m here?”

“We have proof that you weren’t the rat, you can come back to SHIE-“

“Absolutely not. I’m fine in doing what I’m doing now thanks, can I go?”

“Y/n you’re a mercenary-“

“It pays the bills” She shrugs.

Fury shakes his head at Ross when he tries to continue, “You didn’t seem so surprised when he mentioned a rat, why?”

“Bit slow aren’t you? Let me guess the one that betrayed you was…Sharon? Yep I knew, um three years ago? Yeah something like that”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Didn’t think you lot deserved the truth so, can I now go?”

“We need to tell the Aveng-“ 

“No. Don’t, look let’s just keep everyone thinking I turned rat okay? It’s the best for everyone.”

Both men look to each other before slowly nodding. “It’s so great to see you Y/n” Fury says as he tries to pull her into a hug.

Stepping back she puts her hands up “I don’t like being touched nowadays, so no touching but it’s great to see you too Nicky”

“I told you not to call me that. See you” He chuckles and making his exit.

“We need to talk Y/n” Ross sighs once the pair are alone.

“About?”

“Your old team” 

Her heart stops.

“W-what about them?” She knows exactly what it’s about.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he looks at her with sympathetic eyes. “The officials want you all to pay for what happened that night”.

“We was set up Ross! Right from the get go, it was all a fucking set up!”

“I know, Y/n I know. I tried telling them but they won’t listen to me” He speaks earnestly.

“Why aren’t they going after John?”

John Cooper, a name she hasn’t heard or spoke of or thought of for over ten years now. He was Y/n’s handler for a year, he made her go out and find people who was at the top of their game. She didn’t know why but she did as she was told to do, finding the best of the best.

Douglas - best snipper in the army. Helped that he could fight like a beast.

Marco - best hacker she had ever seen, fighter, built like a brick wall (secretly a cuddle bear).

Colleen - she saved Y/n’s life when she had been cornered in a dark alleyway neither her or her attacker saw the knife coming. No brainer.

Marley - a young girl at the time was an experiment Y/n stumbled on, she didn’t have the heart to leave her and when she saw what she was capable of doing, she brought her on board too.

Then there was Hank - the biggest mistake she ever made. He was ruthless and conniving, she thought it would work well in her favour until they all heard screaming and they saw him pinning a seventeen year old Marley to the wall and was trying to shove his hand into the girls trousers. Y/n didn’t hesitate to put a bullet into his skull, catching Marley as she fell.

John said they needed another person but she refused. There was no way she was going to bring another person in, not after what had happened.

Their mission was for them to break into a government base and download all the information off the computers, when they got there, there was dead bodies of workers.

Pulling back Y/n ordered them to leave, the moment they stepped back outside they were surrounded by the military, FBI and even SHIELD. 

That was the night she met both Ross and Fury.

“Y/n he’s dead, died in a Mexican prison seven years ago.”

“Oh…”

“I need you to tell me the locations of all four of them”

Chuckling softly, “that’s not going to happen Ross and you know it.”

“No I know-“

“If I give them me, confess to murdering all those people, tell them l was the only person that did it, will they leave them alone?” She asks desperately.

“But that’s not tr-“

“It doesn’t matter what’s true or not Ross. Will they yes or no?”

Closing his eyes he whispers “yes”.

“Let me make one phone call and I’ll come with you, right here right now”.

“That doesn’t need to happen. I’ll need your help soon, you help and I’ll make sure you get a fair trial”

“My old team walks. Free and clear, no one comes after them and I want it in writing Ross.”

“Deal.”

Shaking hands she walks back over to the van, hopping in “take me back from where you kidnapped me from”.

*Back to the present*

The first thing she did when she got into her car was FaceTime Fran who answered after a few rings.

“Hey”

“Hi, Doug told me what happened you’re supposed to be resting Y/n/n”.

“I’m fine,honestly. Where’s my little terrors?”

Laughing Fran calls for the twins, Y/n couldn’t stop smiling when she heard their feet’s pounding on the floor shouting for her.

“Here, talk to momma - I’ll talk to you after okay missy”.

“Of course. Hi babies”

“Momma” they replied in unison. To see them brought a smile to her lips, her heart ached with the need to hold them in her arms.

“Guess what bubbas!”

“What” Logan asked.

“Momma loves you both, so so much!”

“I wuv you mama” Harlow screams down the phone, making her and Fran laugh.

“Logie aren’t you going to tell me the same?”

“I wuv you momma so so so so so so much” His little face beams.

They were truly the perfect mixture of Y/n and Bucky. Logan had Y/n’s eyes whilst Harlow had Bucky’s, Harlow had her fathers smile and Logan had his mommas. The mannerisms of the pair were the exact same as their parents.

She spoke with them for close to an hour, them telling her all about their fun filled day. Saying goodbye to them pained her, she hated saying them words to her babies. Speaking with Fran for a bit she ended the call and went back to the house.

In dire need of sleep.

The rest of the week passed, Douglas visiting her most days and telling her that the team of superheroes wanted to see her to apologise, nothing was ever said back to him, leaving him hoping that things were different. 

It was the day of the mission, she rang Fran so she could speak to her babies one last time. She left the house and headed back to the tower.

“It’s important that everyone knows exactly what the plan is. Nothing can go wrong”. Fury speaks from the head of the table. “Anyone want to saying anything?”

“Yeah, Y/n I’m so so-“ Wanda tries to say.

“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over and done with, my guys- are you ready?”

“Yes boss” All answer.

“Well, good luck everyone”.

On the quinjet ten minutes later, awkwardness filled the air as both teams sit on opposite sides. No words are spoken other than the pilot saying they were taking off.

Exactly three hours twenty-five minutes and 13 seconds - she timed it - was how long it took for Tony to say something, to be honest she was shocked it took him that long.

“Y/n can we talk?”

“If it’s an apology I don’t want it, it mean’s absolutely nothing to me. If it’s about the mission, then yes we can talk.”

“We need to apologise Y/n/n”

The nickname coming from Sam’s lips make her flinch. “I don’t want it nor need it.”

The quinjet fell silent once again.

That was until Bucky broke it. “I never cheated on you”

Everyone noticed the flash of pain in her eyes, “what?”

“I never slept with Nat, we pretended in order to hurt you, ba-Y/n we believed that you betrayed us”

“Believed Sharon don’t you mean.”

“We-I didn-“

“Awesome.”

“What?”

“I think it’s funny that instead of asking me and oh I don’t know believing me, instead you all believed a desperate blonde who had to settle for the man who still pines after her dead aunt, it’s quite absurd to me really.”

“We didn’t know what to believe Y/n. You’re the one that killed Sharon s-“ Steve speaks and ultimately gets cut off.

“I only killed her because I had no other choice!”

“There’s always a choice” He spat back.

“You’re right. But that night I didn’t have one, I wish it wasn’t but she left me no choice!”

“Why did you do it?”

“Pilot how long do we have long left?” They all look baffled by her change of the subject.

“We’re nearly here Miss”.

“Thanks” turning to look Bucky directly in the eyes “when this is all over Doug can explain it to you, end of discussion.”

The quinjet lowers to the ground and everyone takes their leave, just as Y/n walked past Douglas she slides two things into his pocket before gripping his hand and smiling towards him, he squeezes her hand and leans over to place a kiss to her temple.

Bullets fly freely, smoke fill their lungs, grunts and screams are heard. Pushing forwards they all work as one.

They had only been there for less than an hour before the remaining members of The Lords surrender.

After all the intel was gathered, the prisoners on board, they hear the sound of another jet.

“What the hell?” Tony asks.

The Avengers watch as Y/n gives each of her team a lingering hug - who all apart from Douglas looked confused.

As she gets to Doug hugging him too, she whispers something into his ear that even the two super soldiers couldn’t hear, pulling back they stand to attention and salute one another.

She says nothing as she passes them and up the soldiers who put handcuffs on her.

“What the hell just happen-“ Bucky stumbles out but is cut off when the jet carrying the woman who he was still very much in love with inside exploded.

Marley screams and the sound breaks Douglas’s heart, he grabs the woman who he’s always seen as his daughter in his arms as well as Colleen who falls to her knees. Marco stands there with his dark brown eyes not moving away from the still falling parts of the jet.

The Avengers, they all have silent tears streaming down their cheeks, none of them know what to say or do. They’ve just witnessed the person who at one point they trusted more than anything, the person they all betrayed just die.

Douglas walks past them all with both women in his arms and walks straight up the ramp with Marco following behind.

When everyone’s on board the quinjet they see him sitting in the seat Y/n was occupying.

“The day she walked in on you fucking her best friend she found out she was pregnant. The night she killed Sharon, Hydra had showed up at her home wanting the babies, that scar she has-had on her cheek was from a bullet graze, Sharon tried to kill Y/n - caused her to go into early labour. Y/n killed Sharon because she had no other choice, hell she even gave the blonde bitch an out. When me and my wife got there she was in the middle of delivering her second baby.” He shakes his head sadly “the reason my best friend is dead is because of us” pointing to himself and the other three “she made a decision to leave her babies behind just so we didn’t get given the death penalty”.

Douglas pulls out the items Y/n had put into his pocket, her ring - the one with two love hearts that represented her twins, and her dog tags that also had two smaller tags with the twins names, date of birth engraved on them.

“James, she made me and my wife adopt the twins. She knew exactly what she was going to do when Ross talked to her about their deal, she said it was okay for us to let you see them. But please don’t think for one second that you’ll be able to take them away from us, because pal even if you are a super solider I’ll still kill you.”

Bucky sits there with tears in his eyes, “what’s their names?”

“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Doug tells him with a smile.

“Ca-if it’s okay with you and your wife, can I meet them?”

“You won’t try anything stupid?”

“No, god no of course not!”

“Then yeah that can be arranged.”

For two years Bucky sees the children he didn’t know existed until two years ago.

His heart dropped to his stomach when Douglas took him to the house that Y/n had brought for them to live in after they retired. It became the warm loving home for Douglas, Fran and the kids.

Bucky did retire, the day after he lost the love of his life and met his children for the first time, and not only that but he also brought the house next door.

He formed a great bond with the couple who let him see the kids whenever he wanted - which was now every day since he moved next door.

The bond he had with his children was now unbreakable. Everyday he was reminded of what he lost and lost out of just by looking at their adorable little faces. He loved them so deeply, loving them at its purest form. He wishes more than anything that he could go back in time and redo everything all over again, but since he can’t he continues to make up for lost time.

He’s sat in the living room with the kids, Doug and Fran when a knock comes from the front door, he watches as Doug goes to answer and truly didn’t think anything of it.

“Hi babies” A warm voice says.

“Momma!” The twins scream in unison.

Shooting up from were he was laying on the floor building with the Lego set Steve brought Logan, he watches his kids jump up and run over to Y/n who instantly picks them up.

She’s alive. She’s standing right in front of him. His chest tightens. She’s really here.

“H-how?” He whispers but she hears it.

“You’ve been doing so great with them, I’ve been watching” she smiles.

He walks slowly over to her as she puts the kids down and he doesn’t hesitate or think about it before he smashes his lips to hers.

“I still love you Y/n/n”

“I still love you Bucky”

The kids squeal and jump in circles around their parents as Doug and Fran hold on to each other. 

Y/n pulls away from the man she still loves after everything and picks up her big babies.

“I told you I’ll always come back”

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[dumbbitch-academy]

Use Me

Astarion x f!reader/tav

WC:3k+

Smut! 18+ MDNI

Summary: Reader is basically ovulating and is super horny because of this, so Astarion decides to help her out after finding her frustrated.

Contains: p-in-v sex, dirty talk, masturbation (female and male), mutual masturbation, oral (male receiving), face fucking (male receiving), reader gets embarrassed easily (there are some shame moments but nothing major), reader and Astarion are so horny for each other omg

A/N: Hello Everyone! Here is the full fic! Just keep in mind this is my first time writing smut! As always feedback is always welcomed! I did not expect this fic to become so long as it did but I am pleased with how it turned out!

Masterlist (it is short but it soon shall grow)

AO3 for those who prefer!

It had been so annoying all day. No matter how much you tried to will it away, the need and want for carnal release would not stop bothering you. It consumed you, and you hated that. The only thing you could think about was him, taking you in every which way that you could think of. You imagined his strong chest against your back, his smell overtaking your senses. The way his hands felt on your breasts, how his kisses to your throat set your neck aflame. His groans as he made his way to enter you, eyes closed with his brows scrunching up in the middle. You wanted all of this. But there was one problem with this solution. He was out on a mission and you did not want to burden him with your needs of release. 

You tried to think of why you could be so desperate, until you remembered, you were supposed to become fertile soon. You guess soon had finally arrived, much to your annoyance. The best you could do was to retreat to your tent and try to tend to this problem by yourself. Surely you would be able to take care of this, and then this whole irritating problem will go away. 

“I am going to my tent, I am not feeling too well, best not to bother me for a bit!”, you called out towards Gale and Shadowheart. Shadowheart nodded in acknowledgement, whereas Gale called out to you “Would you like help? I have a few wonderful teas that I keep for emergencies, such as headaches, sore muscles, or even a belly ache.” Gods, why did he have to be so helpful at the worst of times? You shook your head, “Oh thank you Gale, but I just feel overly tired. I would like to have some quiet time to nap.” You could see his mouth start to form a word as you quickly slipped into your tent, which was luckily a good bit farther from the rest of the group, “Okay, thank you, bye-” as you made your fast exit. 

Once you secured the tent flap, you took a deep inhale and raised your hands to cover your face. Astarion. You could feel the need start to build higher, if it was even possible. Astarion. You quickly went to pull your pants down, as well as your underclothes. They had already been wet from imagining Astarion taking you in whatever way he wanted to use you. Use me, Astarion. You went to pull your tunic above your head, your breath catching as you felt the fabric drag slightly across your nipples. Fuck, you didn’t know if you had ever been this horny before. You laid back onto your bed roll and started to twist your nipples in your fingers. You traced your hand down and slowly began to play with your sensitive bundle of nerves. You could feel the wetness that coated your soft dark curls there, the wetness providing excellent glide for your fingers to play with yourself, all while you imagined him. You imagined it was his hand, or tried to anyways, it always felt much better when he was the one playing with you there. You wished that you could smell him, to be able to feel enveloped. Fuck, why did he have to go on that stupid mission again? It was at this point you remembered that he had left his white shirt in your tent that morning before they set out. Using your clean hand, you palmed around for it until you felt the familiar fabric. You brought it to your nose and deeply inhaled. Gods, it was almost intoxicating. You huffed out a breath as you inserted a finger into your aching hole, fuck you needed something inside you. You thought about his cock, the thickness, stretching you with a delicious sting. You added another finger to try to achieve the same feeling, your breath hitching. You began to pump your fingers in and out, still thinking of the real thing. However, no matter how long you kept this up, you never were able to get anywhere near where you needed to be to finally cum, much to your frustration. 

It was not until a good amount of time had passed that you heard footsteps walking up to the tent. “Darling, I am back. Shadowheart mentioned you are not feeling well, do you need help?”Astarion called from outside the tent flap. Yes, more than ever. “Oh, uhh, hi Astarion, no I am okay, thank you though, my love!” Your voice failed to sound as nonchalant as you had hoped it to. Astarion was not buying it and began to open the tent flap slowly, “Love, you really sound distressed, I am going to come in okay? I want to make sure you are o-” He quickly rushed in and tied the flap secured when he saw what kind of state you were in. Cheeks red, his shirt in your hand, your chest heaving, legs spread with your hand still inserted into you. You all of a sudden burned hot, cheeks glowing even more, but this time from embarrassment. You quickly in one motion threw his shirt to the side, grabbed the blanket from your side, and wrapped yourself in a cocoon of shame. 

Why you felt such shame, you were not totally sure as to why. You were in a committed relationship, and had slept with each other quite a few times. But never had he ever walked in on you pleasuring yourself. The feeling of shame was met with easy red eyes from Astarion and a giggle, “Not feeling good you say? Surely an orgasm can take away any headache, do not let me stop you, my love.” 

“I do not have a headache, please Astarion, I am…” He could sense your humiliation and slowly went to sit down beside you with his legs crossed. “Darling, there is no need to be ashamed, we haven’t in a while and you have needs. Don’t let me stop you. Please continue to fuck yourself while you…” he glanced over to his tossed shirt “smell my shirt. You always surprise me, my sweet girl.” By now you accepted the situation, “Astarion, I have been horny all day, I cannot seem to take care of it. I think I am just going to go jump in a cold lake. Or just ignore it because I don’t want you to feel obligated to hel-”, you were cut off by a quick kiss to the forehead between your brows. “Darling, I would love to help you. Let me, please. I have been wanting to take you for the last few days actually… thinking of every single curve, freckle, giggle,” Astarion slowly coaxed you out of the blanket that had been your fortress against your own embarrassment for the last several minutes. “You… you do not have to do this if you don’t want to, Astarion. I can take care of this myself, really. You won’t hurt my feelings if you leave,” you looked up at him and shifted your body to sit with your legs crossed mirroring him. “Tav, please, let me take you,” a dangerous glimmer in Astarion’s eyes while he nodded, giving you permission. You nodded in return and moved to your knees as you leaned your neck down to meet your lover’s lips with a small tentative kiss at first, which began to deepen. He rose up to his knees, his armor abrasive against your soft skin. He pulled away when he noticed you pull back slightly, scratchy armor was not your favorite feeling in the world against your bare chest. Astarion remedied this by immediately taking off his top garments to have only his leather trousers and bare chest against you. You hummed in thanks and took his lips in another kiss, more heated than before. You could feel his hands wander up your back, tracing along your spine in opposite directions. He ended up with one hand gently holding the back of your head while the other firmly rested on your round ass. The desire which had been snuffed out momentarily stoked once again. You reached behind him and pulled him in closer, moving your mouth to trace kisses along his jaw, stopping at his ear lobe. His unneeded breath caught and a small moan escaped his lips. He pulled back to look into your eyes, his had begun to be half-lidded. “I thought I was helping you take care of your little issue, my love”, he sensually whispered as he went to kiss your neck, which he began to suck on the sensitive skin there. The hand he had on your ass began to knead the cheek, eliciting a groan from you. You needed more. You pushed away from him suddenly and went to lie down on the bed roll once again and nodded up at him. He nodded back at you and followed you, straddling one of your legs, making sure that they were opened for him. Bracing himself up with one arm above your head, he began to feel your breast, heavy, warm, and so ready to be played with. He moved his fingers to twist and play with your nipple as he began to rub your engorged sex with his thigh, causing you to breathe out his name. He moved his mouth to suck and lick your other nipple, humming in pleasure as he tasted your skin. You closed your eyes and brought your head back and began to grind your dripping cunt onto his thigh, no longer feeling the embarrassment that clouded your mind before. 

You began to quietly pant out labored breaths as he gently nipped your nipple between his blunt teeth, careful not to puncture you there. “Mmmmphhhh,” you groaned with need, which earned you a sultry giggle, “Eager aren’t we? Cannot wait to be on my fingers? Or how about on my face? My cock? Tell me what you want, my darling love. Let me hear you.” It was all too  much but not nearly enough to get you off. “Anything. I need you Astarion. Take me, use me. Mark me, fuck. Do anything you want to me,” you begged as you continued to grind on his thigh. The slick spreading everywhere, not that either of you cared at this exact moment. The only thought between the two of you was each other and each other's pleasure. 

A low growl came from Astarion’s chest, “Come here then, on all fours.” Astarion moved to give you more space, pulling down his trousers, you moaned with anticipation as his cock popped out, already achingly hard, precum deliciously pearled at the tip. You licked your lips and eyed up at him, “Please, let me suck your cock. Let me taste you.” Astarion had already fisted his erection, staring down at you, pumping slowly, “Good girl, you may suck my cock with that filthy mouth of yours.” 

You moved forward and took the head into your mouth, lavishing his flavor. Moaning onto his cock, you began to bob your head back and forth, your body moving slightly with you. Astarion held one of his hands on his hip while his other went to rest on your head. He didn’t push it down, only kept you and him moving together perfectly. “Gods, your mouth is so fucking warm. You were waiting all day for this weren’t you? Waiting for my cock to be inside you, wherever I wanted it to be, huh? My dirty girl, always so good and eager for me. Pleasing- hah, fuck that’s nice- pleasing me with your body,” Astarion praised you, his voice a slightly higher pitch than his normal speaking voice. You loved when he sounded like this. Free to express his pleasure however he wanted to, speak freely and openly. Whatever came to his mind during pleasure. He had begun to pump his hips in tandem to your movements. You took this opportunity to flick your tongue against his frenulum before fully letting Astarion take control. “Want me to face fuck you? Force your throat onto my cock?” Astarion had always made sure to ask. A low moan came from your chest, nodding as you felt pearls of wetness fall down your thighs. With your permission, Astarion grabbed your head and began to viciously pump your head and throat fully onto his cock at a devastating pace. The salty precum freely flows onto your tongue and down your throat. You looked up at Astarion, who already had his garnet eyes fixed onto you, “That’s right, take my cock. Look into my eyes while you gag on this dick. Fuck. Fuck, I love you. Mmmmmphhhhhh, I want to make love to you forever.” It was so liberating for the both of you. He noticed you trying to fuck yourself on nothing that was there, and took mercy on you by leaning over and using one of his hands to slide two fingers into your dripping wet cunt. You both moaned heavily, fucking each other in tandem to where pleasure knew no bounds between your bodies. “Fuck, I need to be inside you right now. I want to cum in you, please. Please let me fuck you,” Astarion began to whine. Immediately both of you let each other go, his cock releasing from your mouth with a pop. 

“Please, take me. Cum in me. Gods, fuck me,” you begged as well as you moved to lie on your back. You began to immediately play with your clit with your legs spread open, staring up at Astarion and noticed that he had instantly lost the rest of his clothing with lightning speed. With heavy eyes, he began to stroke himself with one hand, his other pinching his own nipple. You followed this and played with your own nipple as well. Your huffs of air coming from your open mouths as you pleasured yourselves just staring at each other. When you decided it was time, you used your fingers you were stroking your clit with to beckon Astarion down to you, smirking at each other as he took your slick fingers into his mouth as he settled between your legs. You hooked your legs around his, and braced yourself for his cock to finally be inside of you, wrapping both of your arms around his neck and shoulders to keep him close. You stared into each other's eyes as you could feel him enter you with the swollen head of his cock, both groaning at the feeling. You relished the stretch as he impaled you onto his cock, sinking deeper and deeper into you until he bottomed out, his thighs pressed into yours.“Fuck, move please, fuck me,” you whined as you began to wiggle your hips trying to fuck yourself on his thick cock. Astarion groaned at the sight and feeling of your entire being begging for him. He began to rock his hips to meet yours, huffing breaths with each thrust. He stared into your eyes and you stared back, the love between you two burning so intensely as the molten pleasure between you made your bodies sing for one another. You could feel his hips snap faster and faster, becoming more erratic. You would both come undone for each other. He leaned his head down to your neck, breathy high pitched whines quietly escaping his mouth as he kissed open mouth kisses below your ear. You brought one of your hands to play with the tip of his ear, you knew how much he loved his ears played with the closer he was to his end. “Please, please may I cum? Please I have been good, please let me cum,” Astarion slurred out, unable to keep his voice even. You always thought he was so cute when he asked to cum, genuinely as a light smile crooked the side of your mouth. 

A moan escaped your mouth as you leaned in, connecting your lips together and nodded as you deeply kissed him. You broke the kiss just long enough, “Yes, my love, come for me. P-please cum inside me, Astarion.” You gave him another kiss at the same time you clenched around him and lightly pinched his ear. His orgasm racked his body as his hips snapped violently into yours, slurring out your name as his eyes rolled backwards. The feeling of his cum shooting deep into you was all you needed to reach your climax as you felt your legs shake and arms tense around Astarion. 

Both of your breathing was deep and labored as you came back down, skin glistening with a sheer layer of sweat. “I love you,” came out of both your mouths at the same time and this caused a burst of laughter to erupt. Smiling down at you with his hair stringy and hanging down from sweat he went to move out of you, “Okay, hold on, I'm pulling out.” You felt the uncomfortable release and quietly winced. He rolled over and laid on his back and you rolled to your side, facing him. “So… feel any better?”, Astarion asked with a smirk adorning his face. You groaned in embarrassment, “...yes.” You knew he was genuinely asking, not just poking fun at you. You moved to wrap your arms around him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders in return. You stayed there in contented silence until your stomach rumbled, which had Astarion snorting out a small laugh, “Come my dear, let's get you something to eat. I am sure Gale would be insulted if we stayed in here all night without you having dinner anyways.” 

You both got ready and began to make your way out of the tent, but did not find anyone at the campsite. You were suddenly worried of an ambush that had taken place during your intense romp together. But as you were walking around you found a quickly written note which read:

“ We decided to go to the river… We will be back once you “feel better”- Shadowheart”

The intense heat that spread through your cheeks, bringing a strong blush across your ears and entire face caused Astarion to full belly laugh after he had read what was contained in the letter. You covered your face with both hands and groaned in embarrassment, “ We are camping so far away from them from now on we are going to be across the river, oh my gods.”

[thebearer]

where there's smoke |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: carmen's been busy at work, and you miss him. high stress mixed with heightened emotions leads to a fight.

contains: angst, a fight (they make up at the end dw). language, mean-ish carmen, mean-ish reader, alludes to smut very briefly at the end. minors dni 18+

“What time will you be home tonight?” You asked, knees pulled to your chest in the bed, watching Carmen slip on his shirt, bustling around your shared bedroom. 

“Uh, probably not until late tonight. Sorry, baby.” Carmen muttered, but he didn’t sound sorry. He sounded… distracted. He had been for a while, early mornings and long nights at the restaurant, busy building and perfecting the menu. You understood it, knew he had to do it, but, fuck, if you didn’t miss Carmen. It was lonely without him.

“Oh,” You didn’t mean to sound so small, so disappointed. 

Carmen turned, eyes flashing to you at the first sign of upset. “Why? Did we have plans?” He cringed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fuck, ‘m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to say it like that. That was douchey. I just… My mind has been all over the place, baby, I just-” 

“-We didn’t have plans.” You said, looking down at the comforter. You’d brought it from your old apartment when you moved in, since Carmen’s was a thin quilt that barely covered him let alone the both of you. 

Carmen’s shoulders relaxed. “I just… I dunno. I was hoping I’d get to see you tonight.” You muttered. You knew you sounded clingy and desperate, and fuck you’d swore you’d never be that girl. Yet here you were. “I just miss you, Carmy.”

“I know.” Carmen nodded slowly. “I know, and I’m sorry, baby. I just really have to finish perfecting this menu.” 

“I know, Carmen, but you can’t take one night?” You asked, head tilting towards him. “I never see you anymore.” 

“You could come down for family.” Carmen countered, his voice had the faint twinge of an edge, cutting and a little exasperated. 

“Carmen,” You looked at him, unimpressed. “I meant while you’re not working. I just want to spend some time with you.” 

“Then come down to family and spend it with me.” Carmen huffed lightly. “I don’t know what else you want me to do.” 

“Are you- You’re not being serious.” You scoffed. “Don’t know what else to do-” Your voice raised, trilling to a dangerous octave that had Carmen’s eyes shutting. 

“Please.” Carmen held up a hand. “I-I don’t wanna do this with you right now, ok? I have a lot of shit going on-” 

“Oh, you always have a lot of shit going on.” You spat, rolling your eyes at him. “It’s always something, Carmen, I swear to God. If it isn’t the menu, then it’s installing something new, or-or it’s events, or something! God, it’s always something!” 

“Yeah, yeah, it is.” Carmen snapped, jaw flexing through the mirror to look at you. “That’s kinda the territory of owning a business, baby.” 

“That’s bullshit.” You snapped. “That’s bullshit and you know it is. A lot of people own businesses and they still make time for what matters.” The room was still after you said it, an eerie stillness that had Carmen uneasy, stomach twisting with nerves. 

When he didn’t reply, your heart stopped, plummeting into the pit of your stomach. “Am-Am I not important to you?” You croaked through a tight throat. 

“What? Fuck, no, no, you are. Don’t-Don’t even start that shit with me, ok? You fucking know you are.” You know I love you. It was unspoken, but you heard it, the sentiment easing your worries for a moment. 

“Then why don’t you act like it?” You snapped, lips pressed together. “Why don’t you want to spend time with me?” 

“I do.” Carmen grit, throwing his head back gently. “Look, can we talk tonight? I really have to go.” 

“Of course you do.” You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the hurt in your tone. Tossing the comforter off you, the soft blanket fell in front of Carmen, his eyes tracking your storm off to the bathroom. 

“Baby, c’mon, I didn’t mean it like-” 

“Just fucking go, Carmen!” You sneered. “I’ve already wasted enough of your time, clearly.” He didn’t miss the flash of hurt across your face, brief, before you slammed the door shut, shaking the house.

Carmen didn’t want to leave you, he hated when you fought, always leaving him feeling guilty and sick and anxious. He was already reaching for his spirits with shaky hands, feeling his phone buzz- Sydney or Richie or Tina or someone calling asking him where he was. 

Running a shaking hand through his hair, Carmen grabbed his keys, stopping hesitantly outside the door. He could hear the steady stream of the faucet hitting the porcelain of the sink from the other side. “I love you.” He muttered, and while he didn’t expect you to reply, it still hurt to not hear it back.

“Oh, this is your new place, Chef?” Marcus grinned, following Carmen into the apartment, the smell of whatever candle you had burning enveloping his senses. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s, uh, it’s our place.” Carmen nodded, placing his keys in the small, green trinket bowl. Carmen laughed lightly, nodding towards it. “She did most of the decorating, as you can tell.” 

“It looks nice though.” Sydney chimed, clutching the bottle of wine behind Marcus. “Very cozy and homey and… aesthetic.” 

“Aesthetic?” Richie snorted, brow raised. “The fuck does that even mean?” 

“It means I had a plan going into decorating.” You appeared from the hallway, a basket of laundry on your hip. “I didn’t just tack up the Hooters’ girl calendar on the wall and call it decor.��� 

Richie rolled his eyes at you, shutting the door behind him. “Whatever. I had a picture too.” 

You scoffed, setting the basket down in the hallway. Carmen grimaced slightly. “Hi, baby.” He greeted, lips brushing over your cheek. “I, uh, we’re gonna try a new dish.” 

“Oh?” You quipped, brow raised challengingly. “In my kitchen I just cleaned.” Carmen flinched, eyes cutting in a warning at you. “Why didn’t you do it at the restaurant?” 

“We didn’t have everything we needed.” Carmen replied, a flick in his tone that he hoped you caught on to. One that warned you to settle down. He wasn’t looking for a fight or any ounce of the attitude you’d had lately. 

“Hm,” You hummed, lips pursed. “Wish you would’ve told me before people came over.” You sneered behind a toothy smile that looked more like a threat than a convincing welcome. “I would have put on some actual clothes.” 

“Oh, c’mon, sweetheart. It’s just us.” Richie grinned. Even his goofy demeanor didn’t relax you, eyes cutting towards him in a chilling glare. 

“It was a last minute thing, baby, c’mon.” Carmen begged, eyes pleading with you softly. “Don’t do this right now.” He muttered, a soft huff of a request that had your blood boiling, itching with a blinding rage that could only be directed at him. 

“Don’t let me bother you.” You snapped, leaning down to snatch the basket back on your hip, eyes boring fiercely into Carmen’s blue ones. You stomped towards the bedroom, shutting the door so hard the walls shook. 

Carmen burned with embarrassment, sure his neck and cheeks were rising with flush. Richie whistled lowly. “Cousin, what did you do, huh?” He snickered. “She is pissed.” 

“She’s not pissed.” Carmen snapped, running a hand through his curls. “She’s just… fuck, I don’t know, alright? She’s on me about spendin’ time with her and-and… I don’t even fuckin’ know.” 

“I mean…” Sydney swayed awkwardly, sliding the bottle of wine on the counter. “That’s a valid thing to be mad about. Not spending time with her. That’s not, like, a crazy thing to be mad about.” 

“We live together.” Carmen sighed, exasperatedly. The same fight unfolding in front of him, just with a different person he was arguing his case to this time. “You know what- don’t answer that, alright? Just-Just… let’s make this dish, ok?” 

You could hear the low mummering outside your door, down the hall. You fisted the shirt- Carmen’s shirt- angrily, frowning at it like if you glared hard enough, it might just burst into flames. It didn’t, so you opted to throw it towards the side of his bed. You were a mad woman, possessed and furious, that anger only bristling more and more every time you could hear his voice, commanding and joking with his friends outside the door. Oh, it infuriated you. Now he was bringing work home, quite literally to your house. 

You couldn’t let your mind race like this, you wouldn’t. You knew if you let it stew, you’d be storming in there, screaming at Carmen and causing a scene in front of his friends. A version of you from the past would have, the same insecure and needy girl you were before you knew Carmen, when you were still chasing affection from a boy who rejected you for sport- who did it to hurt you purposefully. 

Instead, you took a breath, turning on the TV to some reality show that would keep you distracted. 

“Hey, baby,” Carmen’s soft voice followed the rasp on the door, pushing it open gently. The hallway light spilled in, his head following with soft eyes. “We have dinner ready if you want any. If you wanna be my taste tester.” There was a playful softness in his voice that made your heart lurch. Made you want to sob. 

“I’m not hungry.” You answered instead, jaw locking to keep the threat of tears from spilling out of your chest. 

Carmen’s face fell. “C’mon, don’t be like that.” He cooed, stepping into the room fully. He could see the way your lip wobbled when you spoke to him like that, sweet and coddling when you were so mad at him. “Come out here with me. Come try this, please? I wanna spend time with you, baby. Like you asked-” 

“-I meant alone time, Carmen.” You hissed, your voice a tad louder than it should have been. 

Carmen flinched, looking over his shoulder at the open door. He hoped your remark didn’t carry down the hall to the others. “I’ll send them home in a little bit. After we taste this, alright? Please?” 

You nearly caved. You wanted to. Wanted to let him sway you, put his hand on your hip and pull you into his side. Wanted him to cup his hand under your chin, fingertips barely brushing your jaw while he gave you that first test, blue eyes dazzling with excitement while he waited for your praise- you always gave him praise. 

But you couldn’t bring yourself to give in. Pride and your heart hurt, sensitive from feeling discarded, from the fights, from the frustration. You pressed your lips together, turning back to the TV. “I’m not hungry.” You snapped, cold. 

Carmen’s own face fell, heart sinking in his chest. “Ok.” He nodded. He watched you for a moment, the way you refused to look at him, sullen and pouty- so mean. Something flipped, a switch inside him that had his own jaw clenching. “Heard.” He bit, closing the door rather firmly, heavy steps down the hallway to the kitchen. 

“I came home to spend time with you-” 

“-No, you didn’t! You came home to fucking work!” You roared back. You and Carmen’s voices had been a building crescendo from the moment he came into the bedroom. His staff was gone, leaving just the two of you in the tension-filled apartment. 

“How is that not spending time with you?” Carmen’s voice boomed, reaching that final point in his tone- the point of no return. No chance of composure, no he was furious. Vein protruding, eyes bulging, kind of furious. “How?” 

“How?” You gawked back, a tight knuckled grip on the throw pillow. 

“Yeah, how? Tell me fuckin’ how that makes any sorta fuckin’ sense!” Carmen threw his arms out. “I would’ve stayed at the goddam restaurant-” 

“Maybe you should have.” You sneered, eyes narrowing at him. “You bring all those people here-”

“-Those people-” 

“-Yeah, Carmy, those people, and you say we’re spending time together.” You grit, teeth barred and angry. “I wanted to spend time with you. Just you.” 

Carmen’s jaw locked, running a hand down his face. “So you had to be so mean? So fuckin’ rude? That’s my family, my friends-” 

“And what am I?” You smacked the bed with an open palm, the echo a cutting silence between you two. Carmen froze, angry but still, watching you. Your jaw clenched, lips pressing together to keep your emotion in, furious and hurt. 

“I just wanted to spend time with you. You’ve been at the fucking restaurant all the time, and-and…” I miss you. What you didn’t say. 

Carmen’s arms crossed over his chest, jaw flexing. “Yeah, well, maybe I shoulda stayed there tonight.” 

The gasp that left you was soft, deflated with hurt. Your throat burned with the threat of tears, lip wobbling, nails digging into the cushion of the pillow still in your hands. “Get out!” You roared, pointing to the door. “Get the fuck out, Carmen! Fuck you!” 

“And go where, huh? This is my apartment too!” 

“Go back to your fucking restaurant! I don’t fucking care! Just go! I don’t want you anywhere fucking near me, you piece of shit!” Your chest heaved, nose running with the threat of tears that you tried to hold back. 

“I’m not goin’ anywhere this is my fuckin’ apartment, too!” Carmen roared, voice so loud it rattled the pictures on the bedside- framed photos of the two of you. 

“Fine.” You snapped, lips pressing together furiously. You snatched your pillow from your side, yanking your charger out of the wall, before turning and flinging the throw pillow at Carmen furiously. 

“The fuck are you-” 

“- I don’t want to be anywhere near you.” You snapped, tears leaking from the corner of your eyes that you tried to hide. “You want to be away from me? Fine. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight because I don’t want to even look at your fucking face right now.” 

Carmen watched in slow motion, the slamming of the bedroom door, which did shake the entire frame- your neighbors were going to be furious. The low creak of the couch, the one you’d bought when you moved in. You’d been so happy when you found it, a pretty little sectional from a discount store that you’d been positively giddy about. He and Richie and Marcus carried it up the two flights of stairs for you, and you’d squealed when he got it in the living room, arms thrown around him, peppering kisses into his cheek. 

God, Carmen would do anything to feel like that again. Instead of the piece of shit he felt like now, hands shaking with rage or nerves or everything. His stomach turned, lurching, mouth filling with spit that he tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. Oh, he felt sick. Repulsed at himself, at what he said, how he said it- to you. 

“Fuck!” Carmen’s voice made you jump, echoed and angry from down the hall. 

You curled further into yourself, pulling the throw blanket over your mouth to try and muffle your own sobs. Keep the sounds of despair in your chest, away from him. Your own chest aching, burning with emotions and hurt. 

You weren’t sure when you’d dozed off, chest still hiccuping with shaky sobs post-cry. Carmen’s footsteps startled you, soft- well, as soft as he could be against the hardwood floors creaking under his weight. Your eyes fluttered open, burning and blurry when you rubbed them, making out his figure above you, blankets and pillows huddled in his hands. 

“What?” You snapped, voice groggy with sleep and tears but the malice was still there. 

“Can’t sleep.” Carmen grunted. He hadn’t been able to sleep, not in that bed, not without you. Not knowing that you were hurt and angry and alone down the hall. Not knowing it was his fault. He spent the majority of the night leaning over the toilet, sobbing and heaving, wracked with a painful guilt. 

“You’re not sleeping in here. I meant it, Carmen, I don’t want to be near you.” You sneered, hoping he couldn’t see your tear stained cheeks in the illuminated light of the moon. 

“’m sleepin’ on the floor.” Carmen muttered, walking on the other side of the coffee table away from you. He groaned, spreading the blanket on the ground, plopping his pillow on top of it with a muted thud. “Can’t fuckin’ sleep without you, y’know that.” It was a soft admission, one that had your heart warming lightly, dulling the ache. 

You didn’t say anything else, turning towards the cushions and away from him, hearing Carmen settle on the other side of the room. “I just wanna say one thing, and I’ll leave you alone. I know you’re mad at me, don’t blame you.” Carmen’s voice cut through the silence of the apartment. “But I’m sorry. I’m really fuckin’ sorry for-for it all.” His voice hitched, a crack that had your own chest swelling with tears again. 

“I shouldn’t have ever yelled like that, or-or said that.” Carmen pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling, his chest from tightening even more. “And it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you, or mean t’not. It’s just… I get so into things sometimes, and-and it’s like if I don’t finish it, I feel like everything is just wrong.” 

You didn’t reply. You weren’t sure what to even say. You knew Carmen was tightly wound, a perfectionist convinced that the slightest slip would leave his world crumbling. If he wasn’t ahead, he was wrong- it was how he was wired. 

“That’s not fair t’you and I know- I know that.” You could hear the staggered breathing in Carmen’s voice, his chest tightening and hands shaking. 

“Carmen,” You pushed up on your arms to look over the couch at him. 

“It’s not fair to you, and I’m sorry, and-and I’ll call Syd in the morning and tell her to cover the day-”

“Carmen.” Your voice cut his rambling off, his chest rising and falling sharply, you could see the silhouette of the night. “It’s ok.” 

Carmen laughed, humorless and watery, hands covering his face. “It’s not ok, it’s not fucking ok.” His breathing hitched, a strangled sob that had you wincing. “I-I’m a fucking dick.” 

“No,” You said easily, calmly. “I mean, yeah, you were earlier, but you’re not as, like, a whole a fucking dick.” 

Carmen sighed softly, lighter this time. “I shouldn’t’ve talked to you like that.” He admitted quietly, staring at the ceiling. “Shouldn’t’ve screamed at you either.” 

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have either.” You admitted, looking down at the floor. “I’m sorry for being mean.” 

“You don’t have to-” 

“-Yeah, I do, Carmy. I was wrong too. Both of us were.” You said firmly. He didn’t reply, simply swallowing around the growing lump in his throat. “And I’m really fucking sorry about that.”  

“It’s ok.” Carmen whispered, his head lolling over to the side to look at you. “I’m sorry for being a dick, and-and not spendin’ enough time with you, and all the other stuff.” 

“It’s ok.” You nodded, looking at him carefully, taking in his wet lashes, shaking hands. “Do you want to… Let’s go to bed.” 

“I’ll stay in here, and you can go in the-”

“-No, Carmen.” You shook your head. “Come to bed with me, please.” You asked gently, sweetly. A complete turn around from before, screaming yells that left your voice hoarse traded in for soft words. 

“Ok.” Carmen whispered, sitting up in the dark quiet of your living room. 

You helped him gather the comforter, dragging it down the hall and slinging it over the bed, the two of you sliding under it. Carmen’s hands on your waist, your back, grabbing at your leg pulling you closer and closer until you were flush against his skin, nose pressed into your scalp. Trembling hands, running down your back. Whispered apologies and soothing words under the sheets. 

Tomorrow, he’d spend the day with you. He’d take you to State Street, let you drag him through the aisles of a store aimlessly, holding your baskets and coffee while you shopped. He’d take you out somewhere nice, though you’d tell him you’d rather him just cook for you- it was always better. You’d hang the mirror in the living room together, and you’d thank him by riding him on the couch. 

But that would be tomorrow. For now, it was the two of you, under the sheets clinging to each other, trying to make it better. 

[heybank]

DENY PART 3

oh my god ok here is part three to my little deny series. i also have a moodboard i've been making for this series so lmk if you wanna see it.

divider by @saradika and i've reblogged their post of it if you want to seem more of their dividers as they're so cute!!!

this part contains smut and is 18+ so MDNI please and thank you.

cw: p in v, unprotected sex (always imagine a contraceptive is used bc this will never be a pregnancy fic), dirty talk, clit slapping (just once)

click to read part one and part two. :)

dreams (nsfw 18+)

"look at you baby, creamin' around popes cock." jj moans at the sight in front of him.

"mmh feels good" you whine. hardly able to form words other than little uh uhs from how good pope is fucking you. his dick so deep you can feel it in your throat.

pope is a panting sweaty mess as he shoves his thick cock back into your sopping wet pussy. jj sitting behind you while pope takes you in missionary.

the feeling of jjs hands all over your sensitive body has your nerve endings on fire. you can feel his hard dick poking your back but he doesn't care about his pleasure right now, he only wants to see you and pope go over the edge of orgasmic pleasure.

"i'm close, pope please" you whine pathetically, jj pinching your nipples harder, sucking spots onto your neck.

"yeah? you gonna cum on my dick pretty girl?" pope asks with a grin. you like this side of him, his cockiness. he's been spending too much time with jj.

"please pope. wanna cum."

"should we let her cum handsome?" jj inquires and you let out another pathetic whine because you want it now! you don't wanna wait.

"yeah she's been such a good girl, haven't you?" pope responds

"yes! yes i'm a good girl i swear. i'm good right j?" you feel yourself squeezing popes dick harder in your tight little pussy. jj moans into the nape of your neck.

"yeah baby you can cum" the boys agree.

pope picks up his pace, dick hitting that squishy spongey spot inside you that makes you see stars.

"cum with me, pretty." pope demands

you don't need to be asked twice because next thing you know jj is squeezing you tighter, his fingers playing with your puffy abused clit, popes cock hitting your cervix with every thrust. you feel it building and building until jj smacks your clit with his fingers and you release.

you're screaming and shaking, clenching so tight that pope follows you seconds after. shooting his cum deep inside you, filling you with his warmth. you feel warm wetness on your back and part of you recognizes that jj also came, untouched, but you're too fucked out to really comprehend.

"grace" you hear your name but blood is rushing in your ears from the best orgasm you've ever had.

"grace!" you hear again but louder. it sounds distorted.

"jeeze, grace wake up!" you feel something soft thump on your face and next thing you know you're waking up with an annoyed groan. a pillow someone had thrown at you laying on your face, blocking your view of whatever rat bastard woke you from the best wet dream you've ever had.

"were you having a good dream princess?" you hear jjs cocky voice ask before you remove the pillow that's blocking your view.

"ya'we're makin lil noises too, wanna tell us about 'em?" the blonde boy teases.

you roll your eyes, used to jjs horny teasing when you comprehend his words. us. he said tell us.

you quickly sit up, pulling the blanket higher up your body as you take in the surroundings of your room. you see jj smirking with red cheeks and behind him is pope, fidgeting with his hands and tapping his feet.

"for your information i was having a good dream. why the fuck did you wake me!" you ask, exasperated. you're desperately trying not to feel the wetness between your thighs that has very clearly soaked through your cotton sleep shorts.

"you uh-" pope starts "you were saying our names."

"more like moaning them," jj snickers. you feel your face grow warm. "it was hot princess."

jjs words make you take in the two boys, inspecting every inch of them. jj has a very prominent bulge that he's not even trying to hide whereas pope is a little more reserved with his obvious boner but it's there nonetheless.

"umm what's going on?" the look jj gives you makes your tummy flutter and your nipples pebble. you want to blame the cool air but your room is stifling hot and you know the reaction is because of the maybank boy.

"what's happening is we came here to talk to you and walked in on you moanin our names princess. what do you have to say for yourself?" your cunt clenches at his words.

"jj- we were going to be subtle about this!" pope hisses, not wanting to scare you with their potential proposal.

"many people have wet dreams, jj. doesn't mean anything!" you respond with false confidence. completely ignoring whatever pope had just said.

"wanna make it a reality?" jj says, tone sultry as he leans in closer to your face. he looks at your lips like he wants to devour you.

you gasp and pull away, looking at pope with guilt.

this causes pope to walk over to the other side of the bed and join the two of you on it. he softly grabs your hand and your mind is spinning. you don't know what's happening because just a few days ago you saw the two kissing like their life depended on it and now jj is making a pass at you and pope looks like he wants you too? what. the. fuck.

"this isn't how it was supposed to go. we wanted to make it romantic but... i really like you grace," pope utters "we both really like you. more than a friend and we're hoping maybe you like us too?" pope gushes all in one breath is a very pope-like fashion.

the confession makes your brain short circuit because this is all you have ever wanted. you peek a look over to jj and he's nodding with a surprisingly soft smile he's always typically reserved for you.

"you both like me?" you think you're still dreaming

"yeah princess. i've only like been in love with you for forever" jj smiles softly. your heart soars.

"and you both like each other too, right?" you ask wanting to hear it being admitted out loud so there's no room for miscommunication.

"yeah pretty girl," pope responds and the nickname makes you flush, thinking back to your dream. "it's called polyamory."

"and not like those cult religions where a dude has like 50 wives" jj cuts in. "pope gave me a thorough lecture in the difference between polyamory and polygamy"

"i know what polyamory is jj" you giggle with a roll of your eyes. you still don't think this is real.

"so we would all be dating? like together? you'll be my boyfriends and eachothers boyfriends and i'll be your girlfriend?"

"correct, if you want us" pope confirms.

"of course i fucking want you!" you shout a little louder than you intended. "i've been half in love with you since we kissed and i think i've always loved you jj. seeing the two of you together made me so jealous and then sad and then jealous again! so yes of course i want you!"

the boys give you blinding smiles, the worry of potentially ruining your friendship disappears.

you lean forward and grab both boys in front of you. pulling them in. you need to feel their touch and their heat just to prove to yourself this is real and not some fantasy you've created to process your emotions.

"please kiss me" you breathily ask, which prompts both boys to lean in to kiss you at the same time, effectively making them bonk heads. it makes you giggle at their clumsy eagerness. your giggles prompt them to share the laugh as they tenderly touch their heads.

jj kisses you first and you feel the cliche sparks and fireworks. like everything you've ever wanted want given to you with just one kiss.

"don't hog her!" pope whines and he gently pulls you away from jj so he can have a turn.

popes kiss is different but not less perfect. he takes your breath away and you've never felt more loved sitting here in between the two boys you care so much about.

"now whose hogging her!" jj grumbles and leans in to peck pope on the cheek.

this is going to be so much fun.

AHHH WHAT DID YOU THINK??? i'm having so much fun with this.

tag list: (lmk if you wanna be added) 💜

@theoraekenslover

@redhead1180

[sinkovia]

Futile Effort

Simon Riley x GN!Reader

Angst, mention of blood and death.

As you stood by the firing range, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows across the compound, the distant cracks of gunfire creating a rhythmic backdrop to the conversation you were trying to have with Simon.

Trying.

You couldn't help but feel a sense of frustration building up inside you. Simon was sitting next to you, lost in his own thoughts as he absentmindedly smoked a cigarette. It was a scene you had grown all too familiar with.

"Hey" you began, trying to engage him in conversation about your day. "I was thinking, are you planning to work out tomorrow morning?"

You waited for a response, but it was as if your words had fallen on deaf ears. His eyes were fixed on some distant point, his expression unreadable. This wasn't the first time he'd tuned you out like this, and it was starting to wear on your nerves.

"Simon?" you prodded, your voice tinged with irritation.

Finally, he seemed to snap back to reality, his gaze shifting to you. "Sorry love, what were you saying?"

You couldn't help the frustration that welled up inside you. "I was asking if you're going to work out tomorrow morning," you repeated, your tone a bit sharper now.

He took a drag from his cigarette, his eyes narrowing slightly as he exhaled a plume of smoke. "Yeah, probably," he mumbled, his attention already drifting away again.

It felt like a slap in the face, his indifference and lack of interest in your conversation. You tried to push past the hurt that was creeping in and forced a smile. "Alright, just let me know if you want me to spot you,"

You doubted he'd even heard you.

You turned away, the weight of his inattention heavy on your shoulders. It wasn't the first time you felt like you were talking to a brick wall, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. It wasn't always like this. In the early months of your relationship, Simon had been attentive, hanging on your every word.

After the initial honeymoon phase of your romance, he gradually stopped listening to you. It felt as though the effort he had once put into your relationship had faded away with time, leaving you feeling unimportant and unheard. You had brought up the issue multiple times.

He tells you he'll be more present, more attentive, that he'll make an effort. But every time, it's the same story. Nothing changes, and you're left feeling hurt and ignored. You know it's not entirely his fault. Simon carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and his mind is still at war with his past. Still, that doesn't justify his constant zoning out when you're trying to talk to him.

You wish he would just communicate with you.

This morning, as the mission loomed ahead, you decided to test the waters one more time, asking him a simple question about using the shower first, and he didn't even acknowledge it, not even bothering to ask for clarification. He didn’t even ask where you were going when you left for your equipment check.

It's as if you were dead to him and it stung.

You wondered if he even loved you anymore. You doubt it.

Bullets were whizzing past your face and the explosion of a nearby grenade had made your ears ring. You had called out to Simon who was a few steps ahead of you trying to tell him that you couldn't hear.

But of course he didn't hear you.

If he had then he would have turned around and noticed the man that was creeping up behind you. The enemy operator came up behind you dragging his knife across your throat. Simon who was a couple of steps ahead of you only happened to glance back. 

He turned around his eyes wide at the sight before him. He was quick to put a bullet in the operator's head. As you lay there, choking on your blood, your eyes locked onto his, you desperately attempt to convey your final message. 

It's ironic, really, how he's never truly listened before, how your words have always seemed to fall on deaf ears. But now, in this moment of sheer desperation, he's straining to hear you, hanging onto your every choked breath.

You're struggling to speak, your voice choked by the crimson fluid gushing from your lips. Each word is a struggling effort, each breath is agony. Your hand trembles on your neck as he wraps his own around it, a poor attempt to keep the blood from spilling out. But it's too late. The world around you begins to blur, your vision fading into the distance. Your hand goes limp against his, and your once-stern gaze becomes distant, unseeing. You're gone, and yet Simon doesn't realize it.

He keeps trying, leaning in closer, straining his ears, his heart pounding in his chest. But the words never come, and there's nothing left to say. You were already dead, and no amount of listening could change that. The battle rages on around him, but he remains frozen in that moment, lost in the futile effort to understand your last words.

[moody-alcoholic]

These Violent Delights

Chapter 11 - Moments before the Storm

Summary: Poly 141 x fem!reader, a/b/o alternate universe 7.4k words. More heat smut yes please... (these aren't going to get any better)

CW: MDNI +18 explicit content a/b/o alternative universe, a/b/o dynamics, typical a/b/o universe tropes (scenting, heats, knotting), mentions of past abuse, masturbation, brief mentions of blood, angst, sex, PiV sex, fingering, knotting, breeding talk, overuse of the word cock, brief mention of needles, brief description of weapons, language, angst, talk about birth control, mentions of pregnancy.

Previous - masterlist - next AO3

Enjoy <3

“Idiot! That's what you are, you know that right? Fucking idiot!” Hale had been screaming in his ear for the better part of 5 minutes. He managed to slip out of the base, making it to the stash in the forest and the hidden phone. He was an idiot. He panicked that you were going to expose him. At least with your forced heat, he’s bought himself a few days.  

“You know what you have to do now. Your only job is to get the omega and get out of there.” 

“Of course sir, but can we trust Commander Graves to turn a blind eye to all this?” 

“I fucking paid him enough to.” 

“What about the bugs?” 

“Fuck,” Hale says. Then the line goes quiet. “Leave them, destroy them if you can, but the omega is more important. You still have everything you need in the stash correct?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then you know what to do. Don’t let me down again.” The call ends. He looks down at the stash. A crate with weapons and a duffle bag with everything he needs to get the omega and take her to Professor Hale. He reaches down into the crate pulling out a pistol, pulling the barrel back and feeling the weight in his hand. 

This time he wouldn’t let Professor Hale down, if not for his own sake. 

You’ve been calling out ever since Gaz dropped you off in John’s room. Your whines and calls are slicing through the tension in the air. John hasn’t said a word since Dr. Piper explained forced heats the first time. Someone had done this, someone had assaulted you, had forced you to be in this state. It makes his blood boil. It makes him angry. He has to control his scent. You’re in heat. His anger could confuse you and make you distress. 

“Explain it again,” John says, pacing the room. The smell of honey is making his head spin. All he wants is to be with you. He can’t though, he needs to get to the bottom of this. He needs to keep it together and make a plan.

“Her heat has been forced. It's something that would naturally happen if she was around an alpha in rut. Hale would force her heats as punishment or to make her…susceptible. They’re not like normal heats, they’re shorter and more extreme. It forces her body to release eggs regardless of her cycle,” Dr. Montgomery explains. 

The door to the barracks flys open and Simon walks in. John watches his nostrils flair, his pupils dilating. John wants to jump on him and push him out the building. He shouldn’t be here around his omega. He balls his hands into fists, keeping an eye on him. Simon keeps his distance, and Johnny stands next to him.

“What happened?” he asks, swallowing thickly. Gaz comes up behind John. He can smell him trying to project his scent but it’s not doing anything. All he can smell is you, honey and strawberries thick in the air. 

“Explain,” John says, waving his hand at Dr. Montgomery. She explains the situation for what feels like the millionth time. He can hear the nerves in her voice now, can smell her fear in the air.  

“All of you go with Dr. Montgomery. I want you to search the lab, the scientists’ quarters. I don’t care what you have to do, just find out who did this,” John snaps, rubbing the back of his neck. He needs to be with you. He needs to be inside you. Your scent is intoxicating. He knows you need him, he knows you’re desperate for his knot. He can hear it in your calls, the pleading in your whines ringing in his ears.

“Forced heats are not the same as regular heats. She is going to be more needy, more desperate. Be careful. It's only going to last a day or so at the most. She can be alone, you don’t have to take care of her.” He digs his eyes into her. He can’t leave you even if he wanted to.

“Someone needs to stay with her, and it might as well be me,” he says. 

“Get Laswell to help, and try to keep this a away from Shepherd. The last thing we need is him breathing down our neck,” John says to the room. He looks up at Simon. He can tell he’s struggling, his usual hard demeanor changed. He’s unsure what to do, so he just turns to leave, everyone following out after him. 

“John,” Dr. Montgomery calls back as she stands in the doorway. “The betas will check on you and keep you updated.” 

John nods, turning to his room. He can hear your moans become more desperate as he walks through the door. 

Your fingers are still deep in your aching pussy as you try to get any release. John walks over to you pulling his top off over his head. You can smell him, taste him in the air. You pull your fingers out reaching out for him in your haze. He grabs your wrist, your hand soaked in your slick and pulls your fingers into his mouth. You hear a growl rise in his throat as he sucks on your digits. 

“Alpha,” you whine, rubbing your legs together. You press your fingers down on his hot tongue. You look over his body seeing his free hand unbuckle his belt as he shimmies his trousers off. You can see his cock almost bulging out of his boxers as he lets your hand go. You lick your lips reaching over to pull him out but he steps back. You whine out, almost falling off the bed, your chest flopping down. 

He steps back over to you reaching down and pulling his cock out. He’s just out of reach as he strokes himself. Your eyes go wide as you lay there watching him, his hand running down his shaft twisting upwards when he reaches the tip. You’re drooling when you see a bead of precum leak from the tip. 

He presses his thumb over to wipe it up but instead of smearing it down his cock he pushes his thumb in your mouth, smearing it across your tongue. 

“Be a good omega, show me how much you want it,” he says. His voice is low and commanding. Your mind doesn’t seem to comprehend the words but your body moves, turning and pressing your face down on the bed, your hips thrust in the air, legs apart, thighs wet with your slick.

You’re presenting for him. It’s all you can think to do. You’re desperate to feel his hands on you. You need his hands on you, you need him inside you. He takes a step towards you, his hands landing on your hips stroking around your curves as he inches closer to your aching cunt. 

“Please alpha,” you beg—you’re already begging. You try to shuffle closer to him, but his hands keep you in place. His scent is heavy in the air now, vanilla and smoke filling your nose. His hand moves to the small of your back pushing you down flat. You let him, as he scoops his arms under your thighs, pulling your legs off the end of the bed. 

You grip the bedding, moaning as your nipples drag against the fabric. His fingers press against your entrance, coating them in your slick before pushing them inside you. You clench around him moaning into the bed, bunching the sheets up in your fists. 

“Such a needy omega,” he says, his voice almost a growl as his fingers speed up inside you. You can’t even speak, your response just coming out as a murmur. You need more, more fingers, deeper, harder. Your brain is too foggy to process speech as he drives you closer to the edge. You're arching your back, wiggling your hips, gripping his fingers with each thrust.

“Are you going to cum on my fingers? Desperate needy omega.” His voice is hard, and you can smell his rut in the air. You don’t care, you need him. 

“Yes alpha, anything for you,” you pant as his fingers drive you over the edge. You cum hard, your legs tensing up and shaking as he rides you through the orgasm, his fingers making the most beautiful wet noises as his palm slaps against your ass. Slick coats his hand as he presses on the rough spot inside you. 

“Good girl,” John coos as he bends over you, his tongue running over the mark on the back of your neck. A warmth bubbles in your core at the praise, at the feel of his tongue pressing on your mark. Your mind goes back to the time he claimed you, the thrill, the adrenaline pumping through your system. 

His teeth claiming you as his omega forever.

“Alpha, I need you,” you beg. He kisses your mark before standing back up.

“What do you need?” he asks even though he’s already pressing against your entrance. 

“Your knot alpha, I need your knot,” you beg, trying to rock back on his cock. He slips between your folds, his tip knocking against your swollen clit. Each thrust sends shivers down your spine. It’s making you more desperate as you rock your hips back against him. He moans out, letting you tease yourself.

“Please,” you whine. He lets out a sigh. He sounds somewhat disappointed as he relents and eases himself into you. You bite down on the bedding, muffling your moan as you tighten around him causing him to throb inside you. It’s too much, finally being filled by your alpha is enough to push you over the edge again. 

“ Christ ,” John breathes as you cum around him, your cunt throbbing as he drags his cock through your swollen walls. You can feel each inch of him, each twitch and throb. It’s enough to make you crazy. 

“Yes alpha, please.” You don’t want him to stop as you shake around him. You need his knot. He reaches down gripping your hair pulling your head up uncomfortably as he drives into you. He’s rougher than he’s been with you before. You didn't think he could go deeper but he seems to find a way as you’re panting with each thrust.  

He’s grunting as he gets closer, his hips smacking into you. It feels amazing, almost too good. Your head goes blank. All you can think about is one thing: ‘ knot, knot, knot.’ You need your alpha to take you, to fill you with his seed, to fill you with babies.

“John,” you gasp as you get close, your body tensing as he drives you closer to the edge. 

“Relax, come on, nice and easy.” He slows down pressing his hand on the small of your back. If you relax you’re going to cum. You let out a breath as you relax your body letting him press into you faster. You’re not going to last long like this, and you can tell he can sense it too. 

“Alpha,” you moan, closing your eyes as you let your body rock against his hips.

“I know, I know,” he says. One hand holds your back down, the other has a tight grip on your hair. It only takes a few more pumps and you’re cuming again, clenching around him as he drives into you. Your body goes limp as you listen to his grunts. The scent of leather fills your nose making your head spin as you come down from the orgasm. 

He lets go of your hair and your head flops down on the bedding. Your vision is hazy as John reaches over, turning your head to the side. You get a moment of clarity as you try to normalize your breathing. John’s arms reach around you, picking you up, moving you around the bed. You let him, not having the energy to do anything other than let him fuck you again and again until he feels like you deserve his knot. He lays up behind you as you bring your legs to your chest. 

His lips are on your neck, softly pressing kisses around your mark. It makes your whole body tingle, a warmth rising inside you as the pain comes back between your legs. Your breathing picks up as John presses himself back inside of you. Going slow this time, his arms wrap around you. He breathes you in his nose, nuzzling into your neck. 

When you try to rock up against him, he holds you in place, his hand pressing down on your abdomen. You close your eyes letting him set the pace even though everything feels too slow, like it’s not enough. When his lips and tongue are not dragging across your skin, he presses his lips up against your ear, his voice low, growling as he tells you how good you’re being.

“Going to take my knot like a good omega?” he breathes feral in your ear as he nips at your ear lobe. 

“Yes alpha, I need your knot,” you beg, tipping your head back. John hums, one of his hands coming up and lazily pulling on your nipple. A moan catches in your throat as you grind your hips up against him. He keeps you in place though, controlling the speed as he huffs and moans. His breath is hot on your neck, panting in your ear. 

“C’mon, be a good omega for me,” John says in your ear pulling you tighter against him. “Cum for me, take my knot.” 

“Yes alpha, anything for you,” you say between pants as he drives into you harder. His arms tighten around you as he cums, throbbing in you as he fills you up, his cock expanding, making you feel full as your head goes stuffy. With his knot stretching you out, you’re overcome with a wave of tiredness. You’ve done your job, you have your alpha's knot and now you get to rest. 

John wraps his arms around you pulling you closer to his chest. You can feel his heart thumping as he tries to steady his breathing. You let out a breath as you relax into the pillow. John’s lips press against your neck, he hums as they rest against your mark. 

“Such a good omega,” he purrs. You smile at the praise, it makes the warm feeling grow inside you. You close your eyes, breathing in his scent, smoke and leather. Now you get to rest for a few hours before the cycle starts up again.

Ghost is shaking with anger as he walks over to the lab with everyone following behind him. He knew something like this might happen. He knew you were at risk. Dr. Montgomery’s explanation was not giving him peace of mind either. Forced heat, it sounds like hell. The thought of you being in pain makes his stomach twist. 

He needs to focus. He needs to find out who did this. Then he’ll feel better. He stops outside the door, turning back to look at everyone standing behind him. Dr. Montgomery looks worried, Soap and Gaz’s eyes are hard as they look at him, waiting for orders. 

“Gaz go get Laswell, meet us back here. Soap we’re going to strip this place from the ground up,” Ghost says, crossing his arms. Soap and Gaz nod, Gaz leaves and Ghost turns to Dr. Montgomery. She looks sad, worried, and guilty. 

“Dr. Montgomery, you need to go through the lab data. We need a timeline of who’s been accessing what chemicals at what time. Who’s been in the medical room other than you.” 

She nods, not saying anything. For a second Ghost feels bad for her. This is partly her fault though. She should know what her scientists are up to. 

She should have known. She should have stopped this. 

Simon goes into the lab. The place is empty. It’s a Friday night, some of the scientists will have already gone home. He turns to the doctor.

“Do you have a list of which scientists go home on a weekend?” Ghost asks her. She nods, heading to her office. 

“Soap go get the logs of who’s left the base. Try not to piss Graves off,” Ghost says as Soap heads out of the room. Ghost stands there looking around the lab. The place looks packed up for the weekend. There’s no sign people have been there for a good few hours. The lab door opens and Gaz and Laswell walk in. 

“What’s going on?” she asks, coming over to Ghost. 

“Someone forced the omega’s heat. We need to find out who and why,” he explains. Dr. Montgomery comes out of her office. She hands him a folder.

“We need to find out who’s here and who’s gone home for the weekend. How long ago do you think this could have happened?” Ghost asks the doctor. She looks around the lab holding her hands up, shrugging. 

“A few minutes. It depends on a lot of factors. If I knew how much or what she’s been given it would help,” she explains. She walks around a desk going over to the computer. Ghost throws the folder on one of the tables. 

“Where’s John?” Laswell asks, stepping up next to Ghost. 

“Someone needs to keep an eye on the omega.” Ghost folds his arms as Gaz opens the folder. Laswell nods, going over to help him. Ghost goes around to see what Dr. Montgomery is looking at, clicking away on a computer.

“What's that?” Ghost says. She doesn’t say anything, continuing to click around. 

“What about the hidden cameras and microphones?” she asks quietly leaning into him. He looks at her, meeting her eyeline. He looks over at Gaz and Laswell working through the paperwork. If they could find the cameras or microphones they might be able to find out who’s been messing around. 

“We’ll deal with that later. Right now we need to look at the staff. Is there anyone you would suspect?” he asks. She stands up from the computer putting her hands on her hips. 

“I don’t know, I would trust them but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them are still wishing they could work for Hale instead of me,” she says. Lawell looks up from the paperwork. 

“Let me know if you think of anything,” Ghost says, turning away from her. Then he sees it on the floor, a syringe sticking out from under a stool. He reaches down, picking it up. 

“Here,” he says, turning back around to Dr. Montgomery with it in his hands. She sighs when she sees it taking it out of his hands. 

“Can we test it for prints or something?” she asks.

“We’re army not police. Can you figure out what drug it is?” he asks. She nods. Ghost sighs walking around the room to help Laswell and Gaz. 

“LT, Graves said he won't give the logs without Price’s approval,” Soap’s voice comes through Ghost’s radio. Fucking Graves . Laswell and Gaz look up at Ghost.

“I’ll deal with it,” he replies, heading out of the building back to the barracks. He balls his hands up into fists. This whole thing was a mess. He waits for a few seconds with his hand on the barrack's door handle. He can smell you in the air before he’s even inside. Honey, vanilla and strawberries. He can smell Price too, leather and smoke, the ground after rain. 

He sighs, opening the door. The scents hit him hard, overwhelming him and making his head spin. His cock twitches in his pants. He wants to be near you, Christ, he needs to be near you. There are no noises, no moans or sounds of sex. The closer he gets to Price’s office the stronger it is, he can taste it in the air. He focuses all his energy on keeping his scent contained. No need to freak John out and make him think there’s a threat in the building. 

He goes into Price’s office going over to his computer sitting down on the chair and logging in. His mind wanders. You’re just on the other side of the thin walls. He bet if he pressed his ear up against the wall he could hear you. He’s trying to focus on what he needs to do, clicking through the pages when you moan out of nowhere. 

The noise makes Ghost squeeze his eyes shut. All he can imagine is you, laying naked in the bed ready and waiting for an alpha to fuck you. He wishes it was him. He opens his eyes again as the moaning dies down he shifts in the chair, his hardened cock pulling on his jeans. It’s almost painful. He can't help palming himself over the fabric. Christ , you’re going to be the death of him.  

He clicks through the other pages trying to find the right one. His brain is too preoccupied though, imagining you bent over, needy and ready. Your pussy aching for him. More moans from the other side of the wall make the decision for him, his hands unclipping his belt, reaching in and pulling his cock out. He lets out a quiet sigh of relief as he strokes himself already leaking with precum. 

This time your moans don’t stop. He can hear Price starting too. 

“Want more?” he asks sleepily. Ghost moves the chair closer to the wall, almost pressing his ear up against it. He can hear your whines and moans as the bed starts to creak and the wet sounds of sex start up. Simon bites his lip to stop himself from moaning out. He has to be careful, quiet. He breathes in your scent, and it makes his mouth water. He wishes he was in John’s position. 

“Alpha,” you whine as John grunts. It almost sounds like he's growling. It makes Ghost pump his cock harder, faster as the moans and panting continue. He wonders what position you’re in, bent over the bed? Laid flat on your back, your perfect tits bouncing with each thrust? He would reach over and grab them, play with your nipples if only to feel you clench tighter around him. A moan catches in his throat as he squeezes the base of his cock.

Too close.

He starts his thrusts again, slow and methodical, but it’s not long before he's giving into the scents again. It’s almost like you’re controlling the speed, his strokes in time with your cries. Each time you call out for your alpha it makes something bubble inside him, a warmth he’s never felt before. It just makes him ache for you more, his head spinning with each thrust of his hand. 

His toes curl in his boots as he gets close to the edge, his thumb brushing over the tip with each long stroke. He looks around for something to catch his release in, he reaches over to the tissue box pulling some out. His hand doesn’t slow, your panting getting louder through the walls, John’s moans speeding up. 

“Alpha, need you,” you whine.

“Tell me what you need,” Price’s voice comes back, low, grumbling. It makes Ghost tip his head back. 

“Cum, need to cum alpha.” Ghost can hear the desperation in your voice, Price’s increase of speed. He can hear each smack of Price’s hips against your ass. 

“C’mon then, been such good omega cum for me.” Price’s scent is strong in the air now. You cry out as you cum, Price’s panting turning to grunts. Simon can’t hold it any longer biting down on the inside of his cheek as he cums into the tissues. He sits there focusing all his energy on controlling his scent, his hand gripping the base of his cock as cum drips over his fingers. He moves the tissue, reaching over for more to clean himself up. 

It’s not even been a few seconds before you’re already sounding needy and desperate again. It must be exhausting to go for so long, Ghost thinks as he throws away the tissues, tucking himself back in his pants and going back to focusing on the task at hand. He finds the right form, filling it out and sending it. 

Now he needs to leave as quiet as he came. He turns the light off in the room, silently walking out the building. He waits until he’s made it back to the lab before unmuting his radio. 

“Soap, the request has been sent,” he says walking into the lab. He hears Soap reply then goes over to Dr. Montgomery. 

“Found anything?” he asks. 

“She was injected with the hormone that activates her heat. I’d say it’s going to last 2-3 days at least,” she explains. Ghost lets out a sigh. 2-3 days, he can work with that. As soon as Soap comes back they can start looking for bugs and check who’s been in and out of the base. 

His mind wanders back to earlier, you hugging him from behind, squeezing his hand. He remembers what it felt like, the dread, the horror of you being in fear. Smelling your fear in the air, harsh like metal, rust, Ghost couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Regardless it was a scent he never wanted to smell again. 

He looks over at Dr. Montgomery. He wishes he could be alone with her now, get things off his chest. She always knows the right thing to say. A few minutes later Soap comes back in the room with an armful of folders. He walks straight over to the table with Laswell and Gaz. 

“Gaz, Laswell, keep working on finding out where people are. Soap we’re going to clear the place for bugs,” Ghost says, his voice level as he orders them around.

“What bugs?” Gaz asks, looking confused. 

“Someone planted bugs in the lab. If we find them, we might be able to find out who did this,” he explains. 

“We’ll start upstairs,” Ghost says, nodding at Soap and heading to the stairs. 

It had been a full 24 hours before the noise in John’s room finally died down. Johnny and Kyle had been taking shifts waiting for them to be able to go in and check on you both. Johnny was awake for the next few hours. 

He waited an extra 40 minutes or so before finally deciding to go in and check. He picked up a bottle of water and a protein bar from the kitchen. He can smell you through the door, honey and leather. He opens the door slowly. The room is dark. Last time, John left the bedside light on. This time, Johnny has to use the corridor light from behind him to make sure he doesn’t trip over anything. 

He makes it to the bed and reaches out for John’s arm which is tightly wrapped around you. It doesn’t take much to stir John who immediately shushes him, reaching out to grab Johnny’s arm.

“You have no idea how long it took her to calm down,” he whispers. Johnny can’t help but smile at your sleeping form, completely knocked out, even snoring softly. It’s a stark difference from your last heat when you were somewhat aware of what was going on around you. 

“How do you feel?” Johnny whispers back to him, opening the bottle of water and pressing it in his hand.  

“Sore, tired,” he says, gulping the water down. “How’s things out there?”

“Simon and Laswell have been interviewing all the staff. Gaz has been busy decoding the hidden cameras,” Johnny says. 

“So he told you, then,” John says. Johnny nods. 

“Si thinks we could find some evidence on them.” 

“What about Dr. Montgomery?” You stir at the mention of her name. It has you whining into the pillow. John shushes you, hoping you’ll go back to sleep. 

“She’s feeling pretty guilty about the whole thing. She’s been helping where she can,” Johnny says. John hums. 

“Simon been getting any rest?” he asks. Johnny knows he already knows the answer. 

“He’s been busy. You know what he’s like,” Johnny says. John sighs, passing the empty bottle to him. 

“Make sure he gets some rest. He’s no use to anyone if he’s exhausted,” John says, laying back down. Johnny nods at him. He leaves the protein bar on the bedside table and leaves the room. 

You’re sore when you wake up. You’re in John’s bed but he’s not around. You can smell him in the air. Maybe he hasn’t been gone for too long. You’re cold and naked as you move to the other side of the bed. You need a drink. Your head is still stuffy, your body sore and throbbing. You swing your legs off the side of the bed using all your energy to sit up. You’re sticky and raw. A nice warm shower sounds amazing for your sore body.

Only when you go to stand your legs give way feeling like jelly as you hit the floor. You let out a yelp. You're going to feel that in the morning. Your head starts swimming and for a few seconds you don’t know if you will be able to stand up again. You close your eyes laying there wondering what to do when the door opens. 

“Christ lass, you should be in bed.” It’s Johnny, but you’re in too much pain to feel embarrassed as he hooks his arms under your armpits lifting you up to sit on the edge of the bed. You whine in his arms as he moves your body uncomfortably.

“Where’s John?” you ask, blinking the sleepiness out of your eyes. Johnny reaches over, picking up a bottle of water and opening it. You accept it when he hands it to you.

“He went to see how things were going with the search,” he says as you gulp the water down, realizing how dry your throat is.

“What search?” you ask finishing the water. 

“To find who did this to you,” he says. You feel sick. It feels like a knot is forming deep within you. 

“Do you remember anything?” Johnny asks you. A shiver runs up your body. You remember going to the lab. Why did you need to go to the lab? Maybe you needed to talk to Dr. Piper about something. Your head is still swimming, and you’re not quite feeling 100%. You go to stand up. Your legs still feel like jelly but you keep your balance, Johnny's hands resting on your shoulders. 

“You’re still warm, you should keep resting,” he says. You shake your head. You want a shower and you want to help. You can’t shake the feeling this is somehow your fault.

“How long has it been?” you ask.

“3 days,” he sighs, leaving you to grab a towel, throwing it around your back and over your shoulders. “Shower?” You nod following him out of the room. It’s dark out but you can’t tell if it's early morning or late evening. You don’t see or smell anyone other than Johnny. His hand presses on your back as you walk into the bathroom. 

“I’ll get you some PJ’s,” he says, leaving the room. You drop the towel stepping into the shower. You turn the heat up high letting the water turn your skin red. It feels like you’re washing off days of grime and sweat. Your legs are sticky and raw. You scrub your body with a thick layer of soap. When Johnny comes back in the room you turn to see him, he smiles at you picking up the towel off the floor placing it with your pajamas. 

You smile at him and turn back to the shower. You stick your head under the shower letting the water run down you, drowning out the world around you. You press your hands on the wall to support yourself. 

What happened? You need to think. Your heat was forced. It’s happened before. The Professor would do it all the time. Well, not all the time but more than you liked. The Professor is not here though. What were you doing before that? You helped with the training. You remember Simon in the stairwell. You turn the shower off, frustrated. 

Why can’t you remember? It’s like there is a block in your mind. You dry your body, looking in the mirror. You need to remember for their sake at least. You finish drying yourself and pulling on clean pajamas. You feel better, your muscles relaxed from the hot shower. You’re still aching, legs feeling stiff and your head is stuffy, like you’ve got the flu. 

You miss John too. You want to be near him. You should go back to bed, or at least steal his pillow. You head over to the door, and as soon as your hand hits the handle it’s like memories come flooding back. 

You remember laying on John’s lap just like you used to do for the Professor. Then you remember Dr. Miller, the drinks, the time skips. The needle in your neck. It was him; he did it. You’re rushing out the room, adrenaline coursing through your system. You see Johnny sat at the table.

“Where are they?” you ask, not hiding the shaking in your voice. 

“In the lab, what's up?” he says, frowning. You ignore him rushing out the building. You’re only in your thin pajamas and nothing on your feet but as soon as you hit the grass you’re sprinting across to the lab. You hear Johnny calling after you but you don’t care. Your lungs are burning, your body shaking as you slam into the lab door. You push your way in bracing your hands on your thighs as you try to catch your breath. 

“What the—” you hear Dr. Piper call as you look up. She’s jumping out of a chair rushing over to you. “You should be in bed, you should be resting.” The door to the lab opens behind you. There are more hands on you now, Johnny's warm hands, Dr. Piper's cold hands supporting you.

“Dr. Miller,” you say between breaths. Your wet hair is cold, water running down your back making you shiver as you stand up straight looking round the room. 

“What? Dr. Miller?” Dr. Piper asks. 

“He was the one. He was—I don’t know, but he was the one who injected me,” you say. You see Kyle and Kate have taken steps towards you. 

“He was the one who forced your heat?” she asks, You nod frantically, her hands leave you. 

“The alpha specialist?” Kyle asks as he looks back at John. You see John leaned back on a chair holding an icepack on his lap. The sound of heavy boots and a door slamming drags your attention to the other side of the room. 

“Gaz, go with him,” John orders. You watch as Kyle nods then leaves out the same door. You’ve calmed down now. You feel cold, shivering as goosebumps rise across your body. You can smell John’s alpha in the room. It makes you feel dizzy. You want to be near him. Your body is aching for him. 

“What happened?” Dr. Piper asks coming around to see your face. 

“I was coming to confront him, and he grabbed me. I don't remember what happened, but then he injected me and forced my heat,” you say looking down at the floor. You feel full of guilt. Tears come, this is all my fault. You can feel Johnny's hand start rubbing your back. 

“What did you want to confront him about?” she asks, her cold hand squeezing your shoulder. 

“I don’t know. I was having these memories, when I was helping Dr. Miller out. I would wake up in the medical room. He would say I passed out when he was trying to take my blood. I don’t ever remember what happened though.” You sniffle. You hear Dr. Piper sigh as her hand leaves your shoulder. You smell John’s scent stronger in the air now, and you can hear him moving towards you. 

His hand comes up to your cheek cupping it in his hand. He sighs, pulling your face up to look at him. You feel embarrassed. You wish you were better at reading his expression. You can’t smell anything other than his alpha. His eyes look around your face. All you want is to be with him, for him to hug you and tell you everything is going to be okay.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks, his voice low. He almost sounds disappointed. 

“I thought it was just bad dreams, I thought it was all in my head. Dr. Miller was so nice. I didn’t think he was lying to me. I didn’t want to worry anyone,” you say. Maybe he’s trying to see if you’re lying or not. 

“What else did he do? What else do you remember?” he asks. He doesn’t sound disappointed anymore. His voice is level, commanding, and it makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. 

“I don’t remember much, I just remember waking up in the medical room.”

“How many times did this happen?” His voice is a little harsher now as his thumb rubs your cheek. 

“Twice,” you say, swallowing hard. He leans down pressing his forehead to yours before sighing. Maybe he’s not mad. His hand leaves your face and you feel alone. Johnny is still behind you, his hand rubbing your back. You brush the tears away feeling tired. 

“Take her back,” John says as he walks away. You look over at Dr. Piper. She looks sad. You let her down, you let them all down. 

“I’m sorry,” you say to no one in particular. 

“It’s alright, get some rest. We'll talk later,” John says, his back to you as he braces himself on a table. Johnny’s hands guide you out of the room. You feel the cold air hit your shaking body. As soon as you’ve made it down the steps, Johnny scoops you up in his arms. You look back into the lab, and you hear a crash as you see John swipe his arms across the table and then run his hands through his hair. 

This is all your fault. 

Guilt, that's all you feel. This is your fault. You should have told someone about Dr. Miller. You thought Dr. Piper knew. Why would she not know what her scientists were doing? You look over at Dr. Piper, her hands wrapped around her mug as she stares out the window. You can smell her guilt in the air.

You’re pushing food around your plate. You're not hungry. You’re just sore, sore and tired. You want to crawl back into bed. You miss John. He hasn’t been around. He didn’t come back last night, and you fell asleep on the sofa with Johnny. Dr. Piper came back around midday bringing you lunch. The last time you saw John was in the lab. You don’t blame him. He has to spend his time cleaning up your mess. You feel sick. Maybe that’s part of the guilt. 

You push your plate away, you're not hungry any more. 

“You need to eat,” she says looking over at you sipping on her coffee. You reluctantly reach out for the pudding cup. It’s chocolate today, that one is your favorite, although you feel like you don’t deserve it. You pull the lid off picking up the spoon. There’s a pit in your stomach, a horrible feeling inside you. You should have spoken to Dr. Piper. Maybe she thinks you don’t trust her. Maybe she thinks you don’t want to talk to her.

You spoon the pudding in your mouth, but the moment it hits your tongue you taste bitterness. It makes you gag. You straighten up in your chair. She turns to look at you, and you force yourself to swallow. It tastes horrible. You’re fine, you’re just worried, you don’t need Dr. Piper worrying too. 

You spoon more pudding in your mouth. You try to ignore the bitterness but you can't. You gag again. Dr. Piper's eyes are digging into you as you force yourself to swallow again. It doesn’t help and you feel your mouth fill with saliva as your stomach constricts.  

You’re off your feet running to the bathroom. The first toilet you see you throw yourself over, heaving as your back buckles. Dr. Piper is behind you pulling your hair up. Your body shakes as you empty your stomach. You slump down next to the toilet bowl. 

“I don’t know why the puddings do this. I used to like them.” you say sniffing. Dr. Piper frowns. 

“When have they started making you feel sick?” she asks. You shrug, wiping your mouth with toilet paper. 

“A week ago maybe,” you say, accepting her hand as she helps you to your feet. You see fear in her eyes. You smell it in the air, and it makes your stomach turn more than it already is. She doesn’t say anything, she just grabs your wrist pulling you through the barracks common room and out into the cold air. Your heart is beating in fear as you struggle to keep up with her. She takes you into the lab. You can see Kyle and John, they turn to see you as you’re dragged in.

“Everything okay?” John asks. You don’t know what to say, feeling tears well up in your eyes. 

“Everything is fine, just routine checks after her heat,” Dr. Piper says letting go of your wrist. You want to run into John’s arms. You want him to squeeze you tight and tell you everything is going to be okay. 

It’s not going to be okay though. It’s never going to be okay again and it’s all your fault. 

You follow Dr. Piper up the stairs and into the medical room. The whole place has been turned upside down. Cupboards opened and emptied, supplies thrown everywhere. They really have searched this place top to bottom. Dr. Piper goes through to the other room and comes back out with a cup. She hands it to you.

“I need a urine sample.” She guides you out of the room showing you where the toilet is. You don’t know what to say. You follow her instructions going into the bathroom and collecting the sample. You don’t like where this is going. When you get back into the medical room you give it to her and she gestures for you to jump up on the bed. 

You watch in silence as she opens something from a packet and dips it in the cup. 

“What's that?” you ask.

“Pregnancy test.” 

Your body freezes. Pregnancy test? That’s impossible. 

“I’m on birth control. I have the implant thing,” you say squeezing the top of your arm where Dr. Piper injected it a few months ago. You can even feel it just under your skin. It’s still there. You don’t know what to do. You can’t think. You can’t breathe.  

It’s not possible.

“I know, I know,” she says. She sounds nervous. You’re nervous now too. What are you going to do? This is all your fault. You sit there trying to control your breathing as you wait for Dr. Piper to say something. Anything. It feels like the seconds and minutes are dragging on forever. You hear her sigh and she turns to look at you. You’re holding your breath. 

“It’s positive,” she says. You don’t believe her. You want to laugh, you want to cry.

“That’s not possible.” You shake your head. You don’t believe her, you can't. She sighs, showing you a white stick with 2 little pink lines on it. 

“No. Do it again, it's wrong,” you say getting off the bed. Panic is rising in you now, and your chest feels tight. You can't breathe. Your hand flys up to your chest. Your legs start to shake. 

This is not possible. 

It can’t be possible. You grip onto Dr. Piper's arm, your whole body shaking now. 

“Okay, come on, sit down,” she says, her hands on your shoulders pushing you back up on the bed. You’re trying to suck in breaths of air but it just feels like it’s never enough.

“Look, I’ll take some blood. Blood drawn pregnancy tests are more accurate, okay?” You nod at her, her hand is still on your shoulder squeezing you. “You need to breathe though, look at me.” You look up at her. 

“Breathe. It’s going to be okay. You need to keep calm.” You nod, following her breathing as you suck in lungfuls of air. She nods, turning away from you to collect supplies. Then it hits you.

What was John going to think?

Next

Dividers by Plum98 & gild-ui Beta reader and editor - rememberwren

[thesightstoshowyou]

Sooo my Ghoul idea! So fem reader, the ghoul takes an odd job unlike his regular job with just killing people for money. A employer hires the ghoul and pays him BIG BIG “money” Caps to bring his daughter home safely across the dangerous wasteland. The reader is a vault dweller and so is the father who has outside connections so he knows who to contact and bring his daughter back. She snuck out to see what up top was really like, and to escape an assigned marriage. Reader is not so bright, basically a bimbo 😅, first time for reader, reader actually finds him attractive, cream pie, Dom Ghoul. Hopefully this is something you’d like to write! ❤️

Thank you for this request!! I hope I did it justice 😁🥰

~~

Over Your Head

Cooper Howard (The Ghoul) x F Reader (NSFW)

Warnings: Loss of virginity, degradation, thigh riding, a little of the Ghoul’s self-loathing, painful sex (that becomes not painful), nipple play, dacryphilia, spitting, creampie, copious dirty talk

The Ghoul heaves a world-weary sigh. “Listen, darlin’,” he starts as he grips your ankle to shove your foot away from where it teases his inner thigh. “Your daddy’s payin’ a hefty sum o’ caps to bring ya’ back in one piece. I don’t think he’ll appreciate me deflowerin’ his lil’ princess.” The last word is said with so much contempt even you can’t miss it.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you whine, bottom lip protruding in a pout.

“Means you’re gettin’ on my last goddamn nerve.” The inhaler hisses when he sucks down a hit. Outside, the wind howls and rattles the foundation of the crumbling office building in which you’d taken shelter. He assumes the dust storm that kicked up and trapped the two of you here, alone, is some kind of divine punishment for his misdeeds. “I know there’s some fuckin’ smooth-skinned brat down in your vault who’s dyin’ to fumble around with ya’. You’re better suited for him.”

The Ghoul watches as your disappointed frown morphs into one of determination. He can almost see the gears working in your head as you try to think up a way to get what you want. You aren’t used to being told “no,” that much is clear.

Never has he regretted taking a job more than he does at this moment.

“I don’t want someone from my vault,” you say as you move onto your hands and knees. Languidly, you crawl through the sand and he can’t help the way his gaze falls on the sway of your hips. He grits his teeth when you slide into his lap, the warmth between your thighs settling right against his clothed cock. “I want you.”

“Did ya’ hit your head on the vault door on your way out, sweetheart?” he questions as your palms come to rest on his shoulders. His own hands, rough from life on the surface and scarred from rads, smooth over your hips and slide down to cup your ass. Irritation shifts into bemused resignation. Admittedly, it’s been a long, long while since he’s been intimate with anyone, and the way you’re writhing in his lap chips away at the last vestiges of his resolve.

“No?” you reply, obviously confused. Pretty…and dumb. Though, he’s still not convinced this isn’t some kind of elaborate prank. Why you’d want him of all people—when you could have anyone you want—is beyond his comprehension.

But, here you are, apparently ready and quite willing. Who is he to snuff out your hopes and dreams, as misguided as they are?

Slowly, the Ghoul inhales through his teeth as one of his hands slides up to grip the back of your neck. His thumb brushes over your nape and he feels a shiver zip down your spine. “I don’t think ya’ know what you’re gettin’ yourself into, sugar.”

Already, your eyes are half lidded and hazy, your plush lips parted to allow for quick breaths. Desperate. Innocent. “Pretty please,” comes your tremulous whisper.

He’s going to make you regret every decision you’ve ever made.

The hand on your neck twists so he can gather up a handful of your hair. He brings your face inches from his own so his lips hover just out of your reach. A grin pulls at his mouth when he feels you test his grip, desperate to close the distance.

He leans in until he’s a hair’s breadth away, until you can feel his exhale ghosting across your panting mouth. “Ain’t no backin’ out a’ this once I tear into ya’.” Hastily, you nod and a breathy whine sneaks past your teeth. Your unbridled enthusiasm is going to be the death of him.

Or you.

The Ghoul’s lips crash into yours in a searing kiss. He swallows your sweet mewl and the sharp gasp that follows when he sinks his teeth into your bottom lip. The feeling of your hips bucking in his lap and the taste of your blood on his tongue rips a rasping groan from his throat.

“Get up and strip,” he orders. He releases your hair and lands a stinging swat on your ass for emphasis. You yelp but scurry away, apparently determined to prove your obedience. The slide of your zipper fills the small space and the Ghoul’s eyes rake over your body as the vault uniform is peeled away, little by little.

The clink of his belt buckle follows and it’s nearly impossible to contain his snort of laughter when your eyes grow comically wide at the sight of him. He palms his cock and slowly hisses through his teeth when you squirm impatiently on the spot, now as naked as the day you were born. Even from here, he can see the arousal glistening between your thighs.

“Come take a seat, kiddo,” The Ghoul says as he spreads his legs and slaps a thigh. Eagerly, you straddle his quad. He wraps a hand around your throat as the other settles on your waist. Slight pressure urges the roll of your hips and soon you’re grinding your slick into his pants.

“What would your daddy say if he saw ya’ actin’ like such a desperate little slut, huh? For a ghoul, no less.” As he speaks, the hand on your waist slides up to roughly tweak a nipple. You squeal and attempt to twist away, but his grip on your throat prevents too much movement. The Ghoul clicks his tongue, “I thought I said no runnin’.”

“It hurts!” You whimper when he turns the same mean treatment on the other nipple.

“Then why are you soakin’ my pant leg, baby?” The moan you loose when his fingers slip down your belly to prod your clit heats the lust burning in his gut. He snatches one of your hands, wraps it around his length, and uses it to stroke himself. The slide of your soft palm along twisted flesh earns you a strained grunt and the briefest fluttering of eyelids.

He watches you from under the brim of his hat. Your eyes are locked on the way your hand works up and down his shaft, your bottom lip glistening where you’ve wet it with your tongue. You’re damn near drooling at just the sight of his cock. The Ghoul has had about all he can take.

“C’mere,” he growls as he grabs hold of your waist and hauls you flush against him. An anxious squeak leaves you when the head of his cock nudges your slick hole. “Deep breath, sweetheart.”

You only manage half an inhale before the Ghoul digs his nails into your hips to spear you on his girth. Your pained shriek echoes off the walls and you scramble to pull yourself up and off, but his grip keeps you seated and forces inch by punishing inch through spasming, untouched muscles. Too soon, you’re impaled up to the hilt, your eyes wide and brimming with tears, your jaw working open and closed like you can’t find the air to scream.

“Fuckin’ tight,” he mutters, nearly overwhelmed by the death grip your hot, slippery insides have on his length. A steadying inhale allows him to turn his attention to you. “What’s the matter, darlin’? Gettin’ split open by my cock not what you’d hoped it’d be?”

The Ghoul tugs you closer to drag his tongue through the fat drops now rolling down your cheeks. Pinching your face between thumb and forefinger, he forces your mouth open and spits your anguish onto your tongue. This seems to shock you enough to draw a choked, furious sound out of you.

“F-fuck-stop-it-it’s too-so full,” you stammer, your thighs shaking like the shingles on the roof above. The Ghoul chuckles, dark and low, as his teeth find the soft flesh of your throat.

“I told ya’ t’breathe, baby,” he reminds you between teasing nips and licks. Your skin is rich like the food they feed you down in that vault, your scent lacking the taint of fear that comes from living life in the Wasteland. Good enough to eat….

Laboriously, you gasp, each breath minutely relaxing your cunt, just enough for the Ghoul to give a few experimental thrusts. The sound you make is distressed, yes, but now there’s something else there to, something akin to that desperation you showed him earlier.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Learnin’ how t’relax and take it. We’ll make a good lil’ whore outta ya’ yet.” Slowly, he moves your hips back and forth as he speaks. Eventually, you get the message and clutch his shoulders to attempt a few tentative undulations of your own. The Ghoul growls, his nails digging crescents into your skin where he holds you.

Soon, no pain remains in your vocalizations. You whine and moan and keen so sweetly, your cries filling the shelter and mingling with the wet squelching of your cunt. You find your rhythm and bounce, unrestrained, in his lap as your juices soak into his pants.

Pressure builds in his groin. The Ghoul can tell by the way your hips stutter and your sweet hole clenches that you’re about to finish too. Hastily, he pulls you against him, plants his boots in the dirt, and hammers up into you until you’re screaming all over again.

You cum a half a second before he does. You freeze in climax, your back arching, so the Ghoul must dig his fingers into the flesh of your ass to work you up and down his girth. With a growl on his lips and teeth bared, his cock pulses to paint your guts in thick ropes of ecstasy.

Long seconds pass as you both hover together in that liminal space of bliss. “Ohh…oh god…” you sigh finally, slumping, boneless. He mirrors your sentiment with a pleased groan that rumbles in his chest.

A hand in your hair tips your head back so the Ghoul can assess your dazed expression. “Fucked what lil’ sense ya’ had right outta ya’, huh?”

“You don’t have to be mean about—

A yawn overtakes your affronted huff. You move to scoot off his lap. “God, I’m so tired now.”

The Ghoul hums disapprovingly and maintains his hold on your hips. “We ain’t done here, sugar. That dust storm is still howlin’ and you got two holes left for me t’abuse.”

Nervously, you laugh and shake your head. “But, I thought…I just wanted—

“A big, bad man t’pop your cherry so ya’ had somethin’ t’brag about back in your vault. Well, I intend on doin’ just that and there ain’t no sense in doin’ somethin’ halfway. Not my problem ya’ bit off more than ya’ could chew, sweetheart.” A chuckle bubbles up from his throat at your horrified expression.

“On your knees, sugar.”

[leclercss]

Tainted Love, Part 2 (Charles Leclerc)

Part 1

Masterlist

plot: in an attempt to fix your marriage, you've reluctantly agreed into being in an open relationship with your husband. so far, it's only been your husband that has taken advantage of your recent arrangement until one night out you meet a man who makes you begin to question your marriage.

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings: (+18) mentions of smut, cheating and some swearing

authors note: thank you guys for the kind words on the first chapter. i'm hoping to make to make this around 7-10 parts depending on how my creativity is feeling. hope you enjoy the second part x

word count: 4.7k

Your Uber has arrived at the address that Charles sent you and the feeling is starting to become very real. The idea of spending the night with any man other than Lewis is taking up 40% of your thoughts. The remaining 60% of your thoughts are thinking about how it will feel for Charles to kiss you again and to feel his touch on your body once more.

"Thanks so much for the lift and so sorry for the change of address," you tell the Uber driver. You climb out of the car and make a mental note to yourself to leave him a tip for his troubles.

As you make your way towards the door of the building, your thoughts go back to Charles. Are you being ridiculous for coming here? Was he really that into you? Was it desperate for you to change your mind and text him after you'd previously turned him down? And who was the "we" that he mentioned? Was it just some sort of after party that he was having? Or did he want to spend time with only you?

You're beginning to spiral.

You take a deep breath before punching in the number to his flat and wait for him to answer.

"Hey, door's open. Take the lift to the eighth floor".

It's Charles. You take a deep breath as he buzzes you in and you head towards the lift. Punching in floor number 8, a shiver runs down your spine as the building suddenly feels freezing for a late June in evening in London.

You tell yourself not to get cold feet now. You wanted this. You made some grumpy Uber driver take you to another area of London for this. Your body wanted this.

You hear some music playing on the other side as you stand in front of Charles’ apartment door accompanied by some French being thrown around. You couldn't make out the entire conversation. You had learnt French growing up but it'd been a while since you used it. And you weren't used to a Monegasque accent. But you think you can make out something about "the married one". They were talking about you.

You hear one of the voices getting closer to the front door and a second or two later the door is opened. You look at the person standing in front of you. Your heart skips a beat for a moment as you realise he's even more attractive than he was in the club.

"Hi Charles," you say softly. You try to smile but you're pretty sure the nerves you're experiencing are plastered across your face.

"Hi, [Y/N]," he replies. He smiles back at you. "I'm glad you came.” He steps to the side to let you in his apartment. "Come in".

As you enter, the music and the French conversations you had heard earlier get louder. Was he having some sort of afters?

"I live with a couple of my friends. We just came back here for a few drinks," it's like he’s read your mind. "Come on, join us for a few drinks". You feel his hand on the small of your back and a shiver runs through your spine once more at his slightest touch.

He leads you into the living room and you're greeted with a couple of faces you vaguely remember from the club. "You remember Hugo and Ricciardo from earlier right?"

They both wave at you. "Erm, yeah. Course," you lie out of politeness.

"I don't usually live here," the lighter haired one tells you. You've no idea which one he is. You think he's the one that made a comment about your husband being a lucky man when Stephanie told the group you were married. "But I thought I'd crash in Joris' room since he went back to your friend's place," he continues.

Whitney. You'd be interrogating her in the morning for details.

You feel Charles' hand move sightly further down your back. "Come on, I'll get you a drink in the kitchen," he says as he leans down towards your ear. The hand that was on your lower back takes your hand in his. You look up, smiling at him softly.

He leads you into the kitchen were he lets go of your hand to have a look in the fridge for something to drink. "So we've mostly got beer. Not sure if you're into that?" Charles calls out as he rummages through the fridge. "Oh! Actually, we've got wine. Do you like wine?" He peers at you over his shoulder and you nod.

Despite all of the alcohol you've consumed tonight, being in Charles' presence again and the thrill of turning up at his apartment has sobered you up. You feel like you need a drink to calm your nerves.

"Wine is perfect".

Your eyes follow him as he goes to the cupboard to get you a glass before pouring you a generous measure. You take the opportunity to check him out. He was just above average height. A couple of inches taller than you. He was slender but you noticed the muscle definition beneath his shirt. He definitely looked after himself. Your eyes finally landed on his fingers which were dotted with a number of different rings. You missed those fingers on your body.

"It's rude to stare you know," Charles chuckles as he snaps you out of your daze. You hadn't realised he had made his way over to you, holding two glasses of wine. He places a glass into your hand, your fingers touching.

"Thank you".

You clink your glasses together before uttering a "Cheers/Santé". You take a quick sip of your drink as your eyes meet Charles' over the top of your glass. Once you've taken a sip, you place the glass down on the counter. Charles does the same before he takes a step closer to you. He reaches towards your shoulders to remove your handbag and places it on the counter behind you. He takes another step closer to you, his face a few centimetres away from yours. His breath lightly hitting your face.

"So, what made you change your mind?" he asks you, he's waiting to see how you react. You take another sip of your wine before you decide to answer his question, earning a chuckle from Charles.

"I decided that my night wasn't done," you reply as your eyes meet again. "We didn't get to finish our dance from earlier," a reference to your earlier text to Charles.

He grins at your response. "And you couldn't finish dancing at home?" You know he's referring to your husband. He doesn't have to say it for you to understand.

You tilt your head to the side slightly before responding, "I've danced at home before. Wanted to try something new."

"And am I that something new?"

The tension in the kitchen is building as Charles' face is closer to yours than before. "I'd like to think so," you utter. You haven't broken eye contact for a while now. And it's only a matter of seconds before you feel Charles' hands on you again. He moves a strand of hair away from your face before softly tucking it behind your ear. His hand then lowers to your cheek while the other finds its way to your side, just below your breast.

"Well I'm glad you're open to trying," his voice is so smooth it melts in your ears like butter. He's confident, like he's played this game before. "I'd definitely like to show you a few things".

The tingle that you felt in your underwear from before has returned. This time accompanied with some dampness. You notice Charles is still looking at you, as if he's waiting for you to make the first move this time.

The two sips of wine have helped boost your courage, God bless alcohol, and you lean in. Your lips meet and this time there's no hesitation as you move your lips against his. You arms find their way around his neck and you take no time in pushing your tongue into his mouth softly.

The kiss is passionate and the longer it goes on the closer your bodies become. He lightly pushes you against the counter top as the hand that's below your breast now lowers towards the bottom of your dress before he pushes it beneath the hem. His other hand now finds itself lightly wrapped around your neck. The dampness is continuing to grow in your underwear. Fuck, it's definitely been a while since you've felt this horny if you're starting to get this wet so quickly.

That feeling of horniness doesn't slow down as the hand that Charles has slipped under the hem of your dress makes its way further up towards your panties. He doesn't even need to ask you to open your legs, your body voluntarily does it for him.

Your hand fits its way to the back of his head and you grip onto his hair lightly as you feel his hand move across to your underwear. Your tongues still deep in one another's mouths until you let out a soft moan as you feel Charles' finger run over the outside of your panties, applying a little pressure as his fingers runs over your slit.

You can feel him smile triumphantly as he's still kissing you. "Someone's a little excited". His voice is laced with smugness. If it was anyone else it would be a turn off but with Charles it seems to spur you on even more.

He breaks the kiss as he moves his lips along along your jaw line. Your head tilts backwards as another moan escapes your lips. He moves his lips to just below your ear where he nibbles on your skin before making his way up to your ear.

"Were you thinking about me on the way here?" he asks but you're too into the feeling of him touching you down below that you don't answer. "I asked you a question". His voice is more commanding this time, causing you to open your eyes. He's already staring at you, waiting for you to respond.

You nod at him. Fuck, you hadn't felt this submissive to a guy since earlier in your relationship with Lewis. It's been so long since a guy had fucked you senseless that you didn't know how to respond.

"Were you thinking about what it would be like for me to touch you?" He's enjoying this, you're putty in his his hands and he's enjoying every second of it. You don't know how but you're even wetter than before.

But you don't want him to have all of the fun, so you reach out for the bulge that's growing in his pants and give it a squeeze. This time it's his mouth that the moan escapes from.

"I wanted to know what this felt like," you purr into his ear and you're pretty sure you feel him become harder in your hand.

"Where do you want to feel it?" He's trying to regain some sort of control and so he slips two fingers past your panties and into your folds as he begins to rub your clit.

You bit your lip as he try not to moan again but it's becoming harder not to. "In my hands and my mouth," your lip trembles as you answer his question. You're surprising yourself with how much you're enjoying this. For it being the first time you would sleep with someone other than your husband in over six years, you're pretty good at it. But it's the next four words that leave your mouth that surprise you the most, "and in my pussy".

You're not sure if the noice that leaves your mouth is a hiss or a moan as you feel Charles plunge the two fingers that have been rubbing your clit into your pussy. "Shit, Charles!" you gasp as you grip onto his shirt to stop your legs from going from beneath you. You can't look away from his eyes as he start to build some momentum with his fingers.

"Just like that?" he teases you. "You want me to touch you right here?” His thumb now finds its way to your clit. You manage a nod as you find yourself clawing at his chest.

"I want to hear you say it," his voice is getting deeper as the tension is building.

"Yes," you pant. "Just like that, Charles".

The two of you are so lost in the moment. You try to maintain eye contact with him but your eyes are attempting to shut from the pleasure you're feeling. Your vagina is practically throbbing in Charles' hands.

You have forgotten that Charles had other company until one of his friends (Hugo and Ricciardo is what you've been told but this is one with darker hair) innocently walks into the kitchen to grab another drink.

"Shit! Sorry!" he cries as he looks away from the sight of Charles' fingers deep inside you in their kitchen. "Thought you guys were just getting a drink".

You feel your cheeks turn red from embarrassment as you've been caught red handed. But Charles doesn't seem too phased. He's joking with his friend, telling him to "fuck off" in French (that part of French you definitely remember).

His friend says something about getting a beer but Charles is busy so he'll just grab one for Hugo and himself. You've been too embarrassed to engage in the conversation so you've spent the time fiddling with one of the buttons on Charles' shirt.

Once his friend (so that was Ricciardo) has left the kitchen, Charles lifts your chin up so you're looking into his eyes again. "Sorry about that, looks like we got a bit caught up in the moment," you're not sure how he can sound so sweet while he still has his fingers inside of you. "Why don't we got to my room? No chance of them walking in on us there."

"Yeah, sure".

You instantly miss the feeling of Charles' fingers inside of you as he pulls them out before fixing your dress. You each grab your glasses of wine as Charles takes your hand in his and leads you towards his bedroom. Thankfully you manage to avoid bumping into his friends so you don't have to look them in the eye after one of the just saw you being fingered by their friend.

Charles opens a door which you're assuming is his bedroom. As he's about turn the light on, you hear one of his friends call his name from the living room.

"What?" he calls out.

The response you can't quite make out but Charles let's out a little huff before handing you his glass of wine. "I'll just be a minute. Let me deal with these two quickly".

You give him a reassuring smile as he places a kiss on your forehead before going back down the hall. You take the opportunity to have a little look around his room. His room is dark due to the late night but the lights from the street softly filter into his room. You can see the outline of some pictures on his wall. A vintage Ferrari car, a print of the Monaco GP. He's clearly into motor sports. You walk towards the window and look towards the view of the City and Canary Wharf in the distance.

You've been too occupied by the view and having a nosey around Charles' room that you don't hear him come in until you feel his body lightly press against you from behind. You jump a little earning a laugh from Charles.

"Sorry for scaring you, the guys should leave us alone now," he tells you as he takes his glass of wine out of your hand. He takes a sip, eyes firmly on yours before taking your free hand in his.

"Have you been enjoying the view?" he asks you. You're sure he's talking about the view outside but he's hinting towards himself as well.

"Yeah, it's not bad," you say as you lick your lips. "That Monaco GP poster is pretty impressive". You both chuckle at your light teasing.

"Yeah? Well maybe one day I'll get to take you. We can watch it from one of my friends' places back home," he tells you. He places his glass of wine on the window sill so he can cup your face in his hands. His fingers are laced in your hair and he's staring at your lips like he's ready to kiss you again.

"I'd like that," you whisper. You too placing your glass of wine on the window sill before you place a hand on Charles' cheek, the other on his chest, running your fingers across the bare skin that peaks through his top buttons which he's left undone.

You inhale before leaning in to kiss him. This time the kiss is sweet, it feels so delicate and intimate. Your touch is delicate too as you're both just enjoying the feeling of each other.

He gently pulls your bottom lip between his teeth before lightly kissing your lips. Your whole body is starting to tingle at the intimacy, something you've been missing for so long.

"I'm glad you came," his voice is barely a whisper. His hands start to roam the rest of your body. His touch is sexual but mostly intimate. He doesn't need to rip your clothes off, you're here now and he's going to take his time with pleasuring you.

"I'm glad I came too," you whisper. Your head tilting back as Charles' moves his kisses towards your jaw line, slowly down the side of your neck before making his way towards your throat.

"I want to feel your lips all over me," you tell him. You don't care if it sounds desperate because the anticipation growing inside of you is starting to become desperate.

Charles obeys your gentle order and makes his way down towards your collar bones, softly sucking and nibbling on your skin as his fingers make their way to the straps of your dress. He slowly pulls them down over your shoulders as he soothes your now bare skin with his fingers. A whimper leaves your lips.

He continues his movement downwards as he tugs at the material around your chest, lightly yanking it down to reveal your large breasts. He smiles to himself at the sight before him. "Where have you been hiding these?" he chuckles and you can't help but giggle as he starts to massage them.

He's clearly enjoying fondling your breasts but you want his lips on you again and so you place your hand on the back of his head so you can move it towards your body. He knows what you're looking for and so he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, soothing it as it starts to become swollen and sensitive in his mouth. He makes sure to pay attention to your other nipple, massaging it with his thumb.

Your fingers find its way into his hair as you lightly grab onto it. Your eyes shut and your lips are lightly parted from the pleasure.

After enjoying playing with your boobs, Charles can feel his jeans become tighter and more restricted and he's ready to up the intimacy.

"[Y/N], I want you to lie down on the bed," his voice is once again so soft and delicate. You nod as you pass him to get to the bed. You sit down on the edge before laying back, your dress still covering your lower half. You prop yourself up on your elbows so you can watch Charles as he kneels in front of you. He slowly begins to pull your dress down along with your underwear, leaving you completely naked. You feel a little vulnerable, you haven't been this exposed to another man for so long that you feel a little self conscious.

But Charles is giving you no reason to feel that way as he slides your heels off your feet before making his way back up to your legs. He places a hand behind one of your knees before throwing your leg over his shoulder, giving him better access to the area he wants the most.

His mouth is wet as he places sloppy kisses along your thighs before running a single finger between your slit. You're so wet it's almost embarrassing. Charles makes sure your eyes are connected with his before he leans in and places a long, slow lick along your slit.

"Oh fuck," you let out as you lightly grab the bed sheets.

"I've been waiting to taste you all night," you practically flinch at the hot air between your legs. "And it looks like you've been waiting for it too".

You nod, you can barely string a word together unless it's some profanity. He doesn't wait for an answer as he places another long, slow lick on your slit again. This time he doesn't stop to hear you moan. He pushes two of his fingers through your slit to open you up in a scissoring motion so he can get the access he needs before he starts licking your pussy.

"Ohh... Charles!"

As Charles' tongue continues to lap up your juices, the two fingers holding you open make their way further down as he pushes them inside you. His movement inside of you is slow at first, he wants to tease you for as long as possible. But your impatience wins as you lightly close your thighs around his head for him, signalling for him to speed up. Your pussy is practically throbbing for him.

He begins to lick and suck every part of you that he can reach with his mouth as the pace of his fingers picks up.

"Charles, fuck, just like that". You throw your head back in ecstasy, you can no longer maintain eye contact as your eyes shut so you can enjoy the sensation Charles is giving you down below. One of your hands grabs onto his hair as you basically shove his face into your vagina but he doesn't complain. It's easier access for him and he takes every opportunity to increase the amount of pleasure he's giving you.

"Do you like that, baby?" His voice is muffled against you.

"Yes! Oh god, yes!" You really sound desperate now but who could blame you? He's so good at this.

His pace is now relentless and you're not sure how much longer you can handle this before you end up squirting all over his face. The sounds leaving your mouth are now rolling into one long moan and your thighs are beginning to twitch around him.

"Fuck, if you keep it up like this I'm going to cum all over your face," you plead.

His eyes glisten as they look up at you. Satisfied with the mess he's creating in front of him. "I'd have no complaints," his voice vibrates against you once again but he's finished up with is assault on you. You're panting heavily.

As he uses his elbow to lift himself up, you notice that his lips and facial hair are drenched in your juices. He doesn't seem to mind though.

You hadn't noticed he was completely clothed still until he begins to unbutton his shirt, revealing his toned chest. You can't help yourself as you reach out and delicately run your fingers along his torso.

He stares down at you as he begins to take off his belt and jeans. He climbs back onto the bed and places his knees either side of your head as you instinctively reach out and begin to tug at the band of his boxers. Your hand wraps around his dick instantly, hard and fully erect.

Your movements are slow but with intent as you stare up at him and you're about to put him into your mouth but Charles has other ideas.

"No," he says with intent. "Tonight it's all about you". He shuffles back down the bed and places himself between your legs which are still open for him. He rubs his cock a few times before leaning over to place a wet, passionate kiss on your mouth.

You can taste your juices from before. They taste sweet and Charles is clearly enjoying his lips on yours again as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. Missing the feel of him, you join him in rubbing his shaft and continue to stroke him until he's ready.

Once he's ready to be inside of you, he leans back on his heels and rubs his throbbing cock between your folds a few times, causing you both to moan simultaneously.

"Charles, I want you inside of me," it's barely a whisper but you've spent so much of your night thinking about this moment that you can't wait any longer. He doesn't hesitate as he pushes himself inside of you. He lets out a soft moan as he feels you wrap around him.

His first few movements are slow, allowing you both to get used to each other before he starts to build up his pace. The only sounds you can hear is your skin slapping against each other along with your soft whimpers.

That soon changes as Charles' speed and rhythm picks up and he's soon fucking you with some momentum.

"Oh my god, Charles," you've said this so many times tonight but you don't care. Not when he's making you feel like this. He's fucking you harder now as if he's trying to fuck you into the bed. You grab onto any part of him that you can, clawing your nails into his back. You wrap your legs around his waist so he can be closer to you.

He brings you even closer together as he starts to kiss you again. It's sloppy and wet, the complete opposite to the intent of the movements he's making with his hips. You try to maintain the kiss but you're a moaning mess. You haven't been fucked like this in so long and it feels so good, it's almost euphoric.

"Charles, this feels so good," you cry as you hold his face in your hands. "Fuck, [Y/N], you feel so good". He's starting to sound desperate too.

He feels like he's losing his control as he can feel his core tighten with pleasure. He places his hand around your throat and continues to fuck you even harder into the mattress. You really hope his friends are still playing music in the living room as the cry you let out is animalistic.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm so close," you cry and you wrap your legs around him even tighter. Holding onto him for dear life as his rhythm starts to become sloppy, he's getting closer too.

"Ah shit, [Y/N], I'm going to cum any minute".

His hand is still around your throat as he leans down to kiss you again. He wants his mouth on yours as you cum for him. And it only takes another thirty seconds before you're moaning into his mouth and reaching your orgasm.

Charles' moans are becoming louder and more frequent as his movements become even sloppier.

"Where do you want me to cum?" he asks you, panting heavily.

"On my chest".

It only takes him another five thrusts before he's pulling out of you and stroking himself above you. Your hand finds it's way to his cock once more to help him finish and soon his cum is landing on your boobs and chest.

He makes sure he's given you all he has before he collapses onto the bed beside you. You both lay there for a minute or two, trying to catch your breath. Your legs are still trembling slightly and you miss the feeling of him.

It's like he reads your mind as he pulls your body against his. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you onto his chest so he can place a kiss on your forehead.

"That was nice, huh?" You can't help but giggle at his accent.

"Are you laughing at me?" he cries out and you find yourself laughing even harder. You place your hand on his cheek as you look down at him.

"No, it's your accent. I love it," you tell him. "And that was amazing".

You lean down and place soft kiss on his lips. You lay there for a few minutes just placing soft kisses on each other. It feels romantic and as your lips move so intimately against his, you don't realise how this night will change everything.

[bedoballoons]

Don't know if you've done this, but can you do an oni reader? Like I imagine them obviously tall asf and muscle mommy. Like how would they (Lyney, neuvillette, freminet, a character of your choosing) react to such a muscle mommy

I have not done this!!! I love muscle mommies, they are so goregous and deserve more attention. I hope you enjoy and thank you for this genius request!! <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃

{༻~Muscle mommy~༺}

CW: Fluffy and slightly suggestive! Reader is a fem oni! Characters are simps for their muscle mommy!

(Includes: Lyney, Heizou, Neuvillette, and Freminet!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney gasped quietly, his eyes trailing from your shoes all the way up past your toned torso and even higher till he saw the horns on your head. He wasn't sure what you were, but he didn't really care, he was currently speechless at the sight of such a woman, so muscular and tall compared to him that he felt like one snap of her fingers could have him falling to his knees..

"You alright magician boy?"

His face turned cherry red with embarrassment, how long had he been staring??, "Oh um, y-yes I'm alright, my apologies I was just..." He lost track of his sentence, eyes locked with yours in a way that had him wondering if he could even offer you a rainbow rose without stuttering...

𑁍༄Heizou:

Heizou couldn't believe what was happening, he was one of the smoothest people in teyvat when it came to flirting and almost never got flustered in the presence of beauty, but somehow he was a absolute mess just from you winking at him. It wasn't even a slight tint to his cheeks or nervous chuckle kind of flustered either, it was his face felt hot and he was stutterIng as looked up at you with daydreamy eyes kind of flustered, "S-so you're a Oni?"

"That's right sugar."

He inhaled sharply at the nickname, trying desperately to calm himself down, but it was far to late for that. At this point he was afraid all you'd have to do is tell him to sit like a dog and he'd do it...

𑁍༄Neuvillette:

Neuvillette swallowed loudly, feeling a blush dust his cheeks as he looked at your muscular build and tall frame, taking in every inch of your body with hopes that you wouldn't notice. He'd lived a long life so far and not once had he seen someone who looked like you, who could make him feel small and flustered in the best way possible without even lifting a finger.

"Monsieur Neuvillette? You're face is all red, are you okay?"

His heart skipped a beat, his blush growing deeper and spreading all the way to the tips of his ears, he was the chief of justice...and he couldn't even speak, no words left his mouth as it hung open...what spell had you cast on him?

𑁍༄Freminet:

Freminet was weak at the knees, hands shaking and face so red you were slightly worried he was gonna pass out, but even if you tried speaking to him...he was absolutely unable to say anything back. He just stared up at you with wide eyes and babbled incoherent words, sometimes a apology would slip out, but other than that...nothing. He just couldn't help it...you were so tall and muscular compared to him...you'd probably be able to squish him like a grape.

He wasn't sure if it was merely because of that or how beautiful you were in general, but either way...it was going to take him a long while to actually work up the nerve to talk to you and even longer to not burst into a bright red blush whenever your body got even a foot near his.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Twenty-Six

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Smidge of angst, but nothing really heavy tbh

Notes: This chapter is light, buuuut I promise I’ll make it up to y’all in the next chapter👀 Mother Emmett to the rescue😌

Word Count: 1215

Series Masterlist

• March 27th, 2006 • Forks HS •

Jasper

I skipped seventh period just like I skipped lunch, it hasn’t even been a week of space from her and I know I’d crumble under her gaze, her proximity. Whatever modicum of control I maintain is not enough to resist simply gravitating towards her.

Standing at my brother’s Jeep, I watch as my siblings exit the main school building along with the rest of our classmates. Why stay? Why not just run home once I decided to skip the class we share?

I have to see her, just a glance. Her scent has drifted around this fucking building all day and I’m a weak man.

Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and I hang around our vehicles as Edward walks Isabella, my supernatural ability straining to feel any sliver of her emotions.

C’mon darlin’, I just need to lay my eyes on you for a few seconds.

Last year I would’ve written this desperation off as insanity, but she’s taken over my life and I’m tired of fighting it. I’m ready to give in, but she has to come to me on her own.

Finally, she’s walking at a fast clip, straight for her car across the parking lot with her eyes cast down and unfortunately we are not anywhere near that path.

Confusion, uncertainty, and a small inkling of sadness straightens my spine from where I was leaning against Emmett’s vehicle. A hand on my shoulder stops the half-step I take in her direction and I wheel on the person it’s attached to-

“Stay.” Emmett leaves no room for negotiation as he tosses Alice his keys and walks with a purpose in Y/n’s direction.

Frustration and possessiveness cloud my head, but I watch my girl with rapt attention.

My brother meets her passenger side door as she reaches her driver’s side door, both sliding into their respective seats at the same without a single word exchanged. She hesitates for only a second before cranking the vehicle and driving away. I don’t have to reach out to know there’s tension rolling off of her, it’s in the set of her beautiful mouth and the crinkle of her brow as she passes us on the way out of the parking lot.

Thankfully the parking lot is empty by this point, I’m not sure I could be brought to give a damn as I disappear into the woods to relieve this ache in my chest.

Reader

By the time I reach my house, I’m fuming. Why? I have no fucking idea, but Emmett hasn’t said a word the entire ride home. Maybe I’m on edge because Jasper was at school all day, but managed to avoid every single interaction he could possibly have with me.

I cut the engine and lean back in my seat, staring at the front door as the tension comes to a head.

“You got something to say-”

“Do you?” I turn and cut him off, unable to keep the sass from my tone.

His chuckle grates my nerves, “You’ve been ready to blow up all day, I’m here because I can take it. Talk to me.” The smile is gone in an instant with the last three words and it takes the wind out of my sails.

“I want him, but how do I know it won’t end the same? Nothing has changed-”

“Everything has changed, don’t you get that?” He angles his upper body to stare at me incredulously. “You’re his singer-”

“What if I wasn’t? What if I wasn’t anything special, Emmett? What if I was a normal girl?” The insecurities start to flow and I’m powerless to stop them.

“That only makes your blood irresistible to him,” he shakes his head and settles back into the seat again, “this is a conversation to have with him, Y/n. But just know that wouldn’t change anything.”

“You seem very sure of that, for someone who is not your brother.” My voice is small as rain droplets begin to splatter the windshield in a slow, mismatched pattern.

“He’s been with us for almost 60 years and I’ve never seen him like this, with anyone. You are the one and only exception, Jasper doesn’t let people in like he’s done with you.” Emmett’s golden eyes meet mine and they shine with sincerity, “This situation with you, it’s untreaded territory. Cut him some slack and hear him out, okay?”

“Did he send you to butter me up? Because it’s working.” I fidget with the peeling cuticle on my thumb, the light rain the only ambient sound.

“No, I just know my best friend needed me.”

Reader

I spent all weekend with Quil and it was much needed in order to get back to feeling somewhat normal. Hanging out with him silenced my near-constant thoughts of Jasper and I haven’t had a reprieve from those since the day I met him.

This weekend I realized, I don’t want to do this without him. I can’t do this without him, he’s too well ingrained. I’m his singer, his mate and he’s… he’s the center of my universe, the rhythm that pulses in my veins.

I won’t lie, I know our future is complicated - given our differing mortality, but if I want him, I have to accept that part of him. The dangerous part of him, the side that is driven to kill me on instinct, the side that can’t give me a future beyond a frozen one. I have to love the not-so-glamorous parts of this man too, because love doesn’t get to pick and choose what’s convenient or even comfortable.

Talking to Emmett also made me realize that that doesn’t scare me like it used to. I’ve been to hell - I know what it’s like without him, I know what it’s like to be empty, to lay my heart bare and be left hanging because I wasn’t actually ready to understand him, I was just scared to lose him. Six months ago I wasn’t ready for the ugly side of what it means to be with a vampire, I was naive to think I could ignore it. To think that I could play it safe - that as long as I didn’t put a label on what was transpiring between us, we could stay in this limbo where nothing bad could go wrong.

But then the worst happened and we didn’t have a single chance in hell to survive the aftermath.

I have to talk to him. He has to know how I feel, what I want, what I need. That I need him.

• March 27th, 2006 • Cullen Residence •

Jasper

“Dude, you gotta talk to her.”

Looking up from my most recent sketch, I spy a slightly damp Emmett leaning inside my bedroom door.

“She needs space to figure out-”

“You’ve given her space, times up. Get your girl already.” Slapping the door frame lightly to emphasize his point, he continues down the hallway to his room.

Sliding my sketchbook away on my desk and leaning back in my chair, I huff a breath and stare at the ceiling. Has a week been long enough? I don’t want to rush her in to anything before she’s ready, lord knows I couldn’t handle her rejection if she’s not.

Next

Teaser

Taglist Part 1:

@aoi-targaryen @Min-jianhyung @pbbsl @timelordhunterandmysterysolver @sheerangermany @clearwater-hoe @Blackbluerose666 @ivy-plays @random-human02 @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gaymazinglula @l3ejm @angelfuzzy2 @losa12308 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @flyawayprincess @ropickle @catbusloki @deviat3dsn0wf0x @lovesanimals0000 @unrevived @h-naec @cutesnakemum @zudooms @itsmytimetoodream @stinkii-boii @acoolnight @anothercoffeeblogx @irishblend10 @from-now-on-im-switzerland @kyraslife2 @naolvshan @kiiwiigii @rosedpetal @kiaraandrea @foolsgoldxo @heartfilia01 @azuredgalaxies @Geekysimmerthings @graciereads @ramen-girl-2424 @0hmydekiru @creeqvealley @cherriebat @whichwitchisthebitch @dragon-rider-with-a-book @secretfairytailpetscookie @psychobitchsthings

[cyberpxnk]

'You always look so divine when you cum for Mommy'

Oh, I loved that bit so much!

Can I please request Pt. 3 when they actually have sex?

I just love mommy!hwa so much

thank you mommy | park seonghwa (3/3)

part one part two

♡ pairing: mommy!seonghwa x f!sub reader ♡ chapters: 3 out of 3 ♡ word count: 1.3k ♡ rating: mature/18+ (minors dni) ♡ plot: pwp, smut

♡ synopsis: mommy seonghwa is ready to reward you for all your good doings tonight.

♡ warnings/tags: mommy!seonghwa, dom!seonghwa, sub!reader, pet names, praise, dirty talk, fingering (f! receiving), creampie, unprotected sex

♡ author's note: hello! happy new year! ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ long overdue request. here is the finale of the mommy hwa requests.

You're unsure how much time has passed since your last orgasm. Since then, you've been teetering between smalls bouts of slumber and restlessness. The room is bathed in moonlight as you're shifting about the tangle of bed sheets.

From beside you Seonghwa admires your bare form as he idly traces shapes along your navel toward the peaks of your breasts until they trail along your face delicately.

His gentle touches lull you back to sleep, the familiarity of your lover's nimble fingers brushing aside your bangs as you let out a soft exhale.

A low chuckle falls from his lips as he allows you another moment of reprise. He knows you will need it for later as his sexual appetite is yet to be sated.

When you awake next, your eyes shoot open and a surprised gasp is torn from your lips. Your mouth is dry from sleep and you struggle to moan out in surprise, the noise of an unpleasant croak forming instead.

The sound would have embarrassed you if not for the abrupt entry of his lengthy fingers delving past your velvety walls. His thumb is already circling around your clit as he works his digits within you, pumping fast and hurriedly. He has no room for playing around anymore.

"Wake up, doll. Mommy needs you," he croons into your ear as your hips arch off the bed.

"Mmm…" You groan groggily in response, your mind reeling as you're trying to keep up with the pace of his actions.

Though you're barely comprehending his demands, your body responds with an eagerness as you grow wet from his ministrations. With every dip of his fingers, your arousal coats them until they're slick with your juices.

"Mommy?" He shushes you quietly, pressing his mouth to yours as his fingers work faster, scissoring within you as you begin to squirm against his lithe frame.

His hand holds you in place, thumb falling from your clit as his palm replaces the appendage, the skin of his hand meeting your bundle of nerves over and over.

It's obvious you can't keep up as you whine pathetically into his kiss, panting through your drool laden lips while you rut against his hand.

You feel your own heartbeat echoing in your ears, blood thrumming through your veins as his fingers are delving inside you. The world seems to narrow down to just these sensations, two bodies passionate and intertwining.

As Seonghwa pulls away from the kiss, leaving you panting and clinging, he whispers in your ear, "You sound so pretty, doll. I love how needy you are for me. "

With each word, your body tightens, your pussy clenching around his hand in anticipation. The building pressure grows unbearable, and you can feel the climax pooling in your core.

"Mommy," you cry out, "I'm close!"

"Not yet, darling." He feels the change in your body, your muscles tightening and the wetness of your arousal seeping onto his palm. Just as you're about to peak, he removes his digits from you, a desperate and wanton whine ripping from your throat.

Your fingers dig into his skin as your thighs shake, your climax looming closely, the pleasure rising and falling to the rhythm of your heavy breathing.

"It's Mommy's turn," he murmurs lovingly to you, tucking a stray hair behind the shell of your ear.

Your eyes flutter at his words, body tensing with anticipation as realization floods your senses. The tip of his head is pressed against your core, shaft thick against the wetness of your folds. He brushes himself against you, rutting along your clit as he elicits a gasp from you.

His actions urge you, causing your hips to buck with need as you grind against his hard cock. Teasingly the hot skin of his length continues to rub along your pussy, smearing the entirety of his erection with your juices.

"My good girl is so eager for Mommy's cock." Seonghwa's palm rests against your cheek, thumb stroking your lower lip as your mouth falls open in a soft moan.

You plead once more, his name falling from your lips as he presses cock against your slit.

"Mmm." He hums in appreciation at your lewd noises. "Shall I reward you for being so good"

"Y-Yes!" You squirm.

"Yes, what?" His tip delve past your walls, just barely spreading you around him.

"Yes, mommy!"

"So lovely and obedient." He coos as his cock sinks into you, filling your cunt with one fluid motion.

Seonghwa's eyes lock with yours, your eyes barely staying open as he slides deeper into your tight warmth. Your pussy clenches around him, clearly wanting more of his cock, but he holds himself back, teasing both of you with his sweet torment.

As he thrusts languidly within you, you cry out loudly and your back arches off the mattress, trying to meet his thrust with your own movements. He seems both pleased and unapproving of your reaction, his hands gripping both sides of your hips to pin you down as he begins to drill into you.

"My needy darling."

With his cock is buried inside you, he reaches down to tease your clit some more, his fingers gliding over the sensitive nub, driving you closer to the edge each time.

Every flick of his thumb tracing your little button has you keening, your hips bucking against him, seeking the sensation of his hard length. You can't help but moan, your voice hoarse and pleading for more.

"You're so wet, doll," he says, his voice low and full of teasing. "I don't think you can handle it all."

But you know differently. You need him. Your body craves the fullness of his cock as it stretches you.

"No, no… I can handle it! I need your cock, Mommy!"

"Are you sure?" He chuckled lowly, sweeping his hand over your side as your writhe.

You nod your head eagerly, hair bouncing in your face as you plead to him pathetically. He smiles and his hand settles on your side, squeezing reassuringly before he begins to fuck into you.

His pace is swift, deliberate and precise. Each thrust of his hips has you crying out, pounding against your gspot and driving you closer and closer to your orgasm. Long and velvety fingers find your abused clit, pinching and flicking until you're a moaning mess beneath him. His ministrations has your orgasm approaching too quickly, the sensation wracking your body immediately.

"Mommy!" You shout in ecstasy, cunt tightening and spasming around his cock as he fucks you through your orgasm.

"That's it, my divine. Come for me." He says between pants, his own peak looming closely as your pussy throbs around his cock.

Seonghwa's eyes roll back with pleasure as he watches your body convulse beneath him, feeling the contractions that ripple through your walls. He thrusts harder and faster, driving himself deeper into you, desperate to reach his own gratification. His balls tighten and his cock swells, ready to spill himself into your womb.

"My darling. Cum for Mommy, let it all go." He grunts, his voice barely audible over the sound of your skin slapping against each other.

Your orgasm peaks, and you gasp for breath as he continues his relentless assault. You reach up, clutching his shoulders, your fingers digging into his skin as you whimper into his ear.

"I want to feel you come, Mommy," you breath out, your voice punctuated by gasps. You beg him over and over, chanting his name as your core trembles from the shocks of your orgasm.

He doesn't respond, only grunting in response as he gives several more thrust before his hot seed is flooding within your walls, filling you with his release.

Then he holds you still, the two of you moaning against each other as his arms encircle your body. You're slouched against him, breathing heavily as your nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. The sensation of his cock pumping heavy loads of his essence inside you subsides, leaving you feeling full of him.

It seems like an eternity before he slides of you, his cum slowly seeping out from between your legs as he withdraws just slightly to give you a moment. Seonghwa then cups both your cheeks, looking into your eyes as he presses a soft peck to your forehead.

"What do you say, darling?"

"Thank you, mommy."

[togrowoldinv]

Devout

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

You meet Wanda Maximoff at church and she later approaches you with a special request that you just can’t refuse

Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, cursing, uh public sex, fingering (W receiving)

Note: I just think that milf!wanda. Happy love and death week! Enjoy this one!

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

You’ve seen her around town. This Wanda Maximoff that the old ladies in the church are whispering about this morning.

You don’t usually attend, but you were asked by a friend to come today so you got dressed and trudged your way to the building.

Wanda stands with the choir; her hair is in perfect place as she hits every note. She’s devout, you hear the women say. She is crazy, another one adds in. She is having an affair, the last one says. But then the music stops, and the gossiping is put on hold until the preacher has finished.

The choir walks out a side door, and all of them return to their normal church pews. Except for one woman. Wanda. You wonder where she disappears to. You pay no attention to the preacher, not that Wanda is all to blame for that. The sermon is boring, and you’ve heard the same thing before.

So, when the final ones are spoken and prayer is prayed, you are itching to get out of the church. On your way outside, you see her again. Wanda. Swallowing your nerves, you approach the woman.

“Hey there! Welcome to our church!” Wanda greets you like she would any other visitor.

“Oh, I’ve been here before, but thank you, ma’am.” You smile at the way she steals a quick glance over your entire body. You wonder what rumors about her might be true. “You were great up there today.”

“It takes all of us,” Wanda says. “But that’s mighty kind of you.” There are people behind you seemingly waiting to talk to Wanda. “I’ll see you next week?” She asks.

“We’ll see,” you tell her. With that, you leave her to greet more people.

Over the next few days, you try to get Wanda out of your head, but you just can’t. You shouldn’t be thinking about a married woman so much, but Wanda is clearly someone special.

It’s like the prayers you haven’t even prayed are being answered when you run into Wanda at the grocery store.

“Hi, I know you,” Wanda surprises you when she approaches you first.

“Yes, you do. I’m y/n,” you offer, and she smiles.

“It’s so nice to meet you again. I’m Wanda.”

“Right. You’re something of church royalty around here,” you say.

“Oh, I’m not sure about that,” Wanda remarks. You stand there for a few moments without saying anything. Wanda thinks of a way to break the silence. “Has anyone invited you to the cookout on Saturday?”

“No ma’am, but I didn’t expect an invite. I’m only a once or twice a-year churchgoer.”

“Well come on by, alright? Saturday at 6 in the parking lot.”

Something in you, practically your desperate attraction to her, makes you say yes. She goes about her way and you grab a few extra things at the store. You can’t show up empty-handed, you remember that much about church events.  

Saturday comes quickly and you drive to the church. Never once have you wanted to be there as much as you do this time. You still can’t deduce if Wanda is this nice to everyone, or that she feels the energy between you two as well.

You catch sight of her telling people where to put the food and drinks they brought. She is wearing a blazer with a blouse that goes up her neck. Her glasses frame her face perfectly and she looks cute. You wonder if anyone told her that today.

“Hey Wanda,” you approach the woman. She grins and excuses herself from talking to another person.

“Well, hi! What do we have here?” Wanda asks, gesturing to your pie.

“Apple pie. My mom’s recipe. The best you’ll ever have.”

“I believe it. Thank you for sharing it with us,” Wanda says. You hand her the pie, and she sets it down carefully on the table right where she wants it to go. “Please grab a drink and we’ll get the food out in just a bit.”

“Alright. Are you in charge of this shindig?”

“Oh, I don’t know about in charge, but my Bible study group does help,” she answers.

“Ah, so she’s humble. I like that in a woman,” you dare test the waters with your statement.

Wanda’s cheeks blush a deep pink as she gets pulled away into another conversation. You end up finding some old friends that you used to know, so you spend time catching up with them and enjoying some food once it’s ready.

Wanda stays busy and you keep wishing you could find time to talk to her. She is the only reason you’re here, after all. You see a small window when Wanda slips in the church door. Following after her, you keep a respectable distance as she walks into the sanctuary. She sits in a pew and leans her head back.

You feel bad for following her, but you can’t bring yourself to leave. Instead, you purposely walk loudly into the room. Wanda hears your feet echoing but she doesn’t turn around.

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left,” you say when you get to the pew.

Wanda stands up to face you.

“I’m attracted to you,” she admits. You try not to have a reaction to her boldness. “Would you be interested in having an affair?”

“Oh, Wanda. You’re so beautiful, but I don’t know if I could-”

Wanda cuts you off by surging forward and kissing your lips. Practically all of her body weight is against you as she deepens the kiss. Her tongue mingles with yours and she sucks on it the second she gets in the right position to do so.

“Wanda,” you whisper, breaking the kiss just enough to speak. “We can’t do this.”

“Please, baby. I’m so lonely and you’re so hot,” Wanda says. You can’t pretend the way she calls you baby with that accent gets to you.

“Just this once,” you tell her.

It’s enough for Wanda. She kisses you again and you push her blazer off of her shoulders. You unbutton her blouse as you kiss down her neck. You’re not careful about leaving marks, no one will see them with her blouse anyways.

“Keep going, darling,” Wanda pleads as you leave hickeys on her neck. Her shirt opens wide, and you grasp at her breasts. She gasps as your fingers work deftly to play with her nipples.

“Do you like that, ma’am?”

“God yes, please I need you so fucking bad.”

“Devout Wanda needs me so bad in this church,” you tease her. It turns her on further. You slip your hand into her pants and relish the slickness you feel in her folds. Kissing her again, you keep one hand slipping around in her panties.

“We don’t have time for you to tease me,” Wanda says.

“Yes ma’am,” you agree. Anyone could walk in and ruin this moment.

You slip a finger inside Wanda. With her pants still on, the pressure builds quickly, and you touch her in all of the right spots. Wanda bites your neck when you add another finger.

“Be good for me, Wanda. Come for me right here, mommy,” you say. The term makes Wanda release a guttural moan. Anyone near the area would hear it, but she doesn’t care.

Your thumb brushes over her clit and Wanda comes so hard that her body threatens to fall over. You keep her steady.

“That’s it, Wanda,” you say, kissing her as you work her through her orgasm.

“Fuck, baby,” Wanda whimpers.

You kiss her a few more times before you help her get dressed again. The blouse covers her neck and there’s no visual evidence of what you did. But the knowledge that you left marks all over her makes you smile.

“Please come back next week,” Wanda says as she fixes her hair clips.

“How about I come back tomorrow?” You counter.

“Yes please,” Wanda says. “Meet me in the choir suite?”

“I’ll see you there, ma’am.”

Wanda leaves you with one more kiss and you watch her leave the room. You glace at the cross on the podium and smile to yourself.

Wanda just might turn you into a regular churchgoer, but it’s worth it to worship her perfect body.

[hbowarbabes]

Living to See Another Day

John “Bucky” Egan x Reader

Summary: As the 100th bomb group get ready to fly their next mission, Bucky is uncertain of his fate or his relationship.

This is based off the scenes in episode 5 of MOTA

Warnings: angst, crying, heartbreak

Words: 2k

Next

• • •

Thorpe Abbotts Airbase,

Norfolk, England

October 10, 1943

The sun was just starting to rise over the horizon, casting a golden glow over the air force base as Bucky stood on the tarmac, his heart heavy with worry. The supposed "disappearance" of his friend Buck and his crew on the mission to Bremen had shaken him to the core.

The unease in the air was palpable, a sense of foreboding hanging over the base like a dark cloud.

In front of him, Y/n’s crew were making their way to the jeep which would take them to one of the replacement aircrafts. That didn’t soothe Bucky’s nerves one bit.

There weren’t enough aircrafts to make the mission over the English Channel. And once they’d reached enemy territory, the rest would be left undetermined.

Bucky watched the squadrons getting in vehicles that would take them to their planes and possibly their last destination. His mind kept drifting to Y/n, the pilot who stole his heart all because of her sheer determination to prove that she could fly a mission even as others looked down on her. And that she did.

But no matter how talented one was, there was no guarantee of survival. You had to expect the worst.

The thought of something happening to Y/n or himself filled him with a deep sense of dread. He couldn't shake the feeling that he or anyone else could be next. No one knew.

As Y/n walked past him, her face a portrait of determination, Bucky felt a sudden surge of panic. He knew he had to do something, anything, to protect her from whatever invisible threat loomed on the horizon that could harm the future of their relationship.

Without thinking, he reached out and pulled Y/n aside, away from the prying eyes of their fellow pilots. Of course, they all noticed and whispered amongst themselves. Y/n, embarrassed and a bit confused, followed Bucky as he kept a soft grip on her arm.

Hiding behind a building, Bucky scanned the area for any wandering eyes, making sure no one else was listening.

Y/n stood there dumbfounded. This behavior was very unusual. She knew something was wrong just by the look of desperation in his face.

“Y/n, we need to talk,” Bucky said, his voice low and urgent. Confusion flickered in Y/n's eyes, her brows furrowing in concern.

“What's wrong? Why are you acting so strange?”

Bucky hesitated, the words catching in his throat. He knew what he had to do, even if it tore his heart to pieces. “Y/n, we can't do this anymore. We need to end things between us.”

The girl's eyes widened in shock.

“What? What’s going on? Why are you leaving me all of a sudden?” Y/n struggled to keep her voice at a low whisper, but she didn’t pay any mind to the men staring at her.

Bucky's heart ached at the hurt in her voice, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her the real reason behind his sudden decision. She would see him as a coward if he even bothered to bring up his motive for wanting to leave her. Instead, he shook his head, his jaw clenched in frustration. “I can't explain it, Y/n. But please, just understand that it's for the best.”

Y/n stared at him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she scoffed, looking around in disbelief.

The man who she’d always trusted had dropped this news on her right before their biggest mission. Could the timing have been any worse?

“Fine. Then consider all of this,” Y/n circled her index finger, motioning towards Bucky as she got in his face, unable to hide her tears any longer. “over.” She turned on her foot, not wanting to hear another word out of Bucky’s mouth. He just stood there in silence, watching as he had let go of the one person in his life who he had loved so dearly.

As Y/n walked away, she quickly wiped away her tears, trying to act as if she hadn’t had the most unexpected news dropped on her.

Bucky felt a pang of guilt stab at his heart. He wished he never met Y/n like this. In a time of war.

If he could have it another way, he would’ve, but with all the men disappearing and planes going down more frequently, what was there for him? Because if anything, he wouldn’t be seeing home anytime soon.

And Y/n?

If he had to witness her go down, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

“Fuck.” Bucky muttered, mentally kicking himself for picking a time like this to end things with Y/n. The damage was done now.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

• • •

The fleet of 17 aircrafts soared through the sky, cutting through the clouds like silver arrows as they headed for Münster. The tension in the cockpit was palpable, the pilot's grip on the controls white-knuckled as they braced themselves for whatever lay ahead.

Only flying 2 aircrafts behind Bucky’s, Y/n still felt as if she wanted to rip the Major’s head off. She kept her calm composure even through the many questions and assumptions she had heard upon getting in the aircraft. The crew could see her tear-stained face and they had already guessed that there had been a dispute between her and the major.

Y/n didn’t explain the whole ordeal, but instead sold them a lie that the Major had only warned her of her flying abilities.

Part of the crew bought it, but the rest knew better. Y/n was just covering Bucky’s ass so no one would find out the two were dating. It would do more damage to her career than anything else.

“Don’t try to get us killed, sweetheart!” A crew member yelled with humor, all aware of Y/n’s lack of patience at the moment. She was much too focused on keeping watch for enemy aircraft.

She had been lucky enough to survive the missions she'd been on. They all came with their complications, but in the end had resulted in her and her squadron getting to live a little longer.

But today's mission felt different. There wasn't a feeling of security, and it all had to do with the shortage of inventory of aircrafts. they could easily be taken out. They were sitting ducks.

And then it happened.

German aircrafts descended upon them like a swarm of angry bees, outnumbering them with ruthless precision.

Chaos erupted in the sky as the metallic glint of gunfire filled the air, the deafening roar of explosions drowning out all other sounds. There was no escape.

In one direction, German planes would be firing at you, and in another, one of the fleet's aircraft would be seen going down on fire or blowing up before it even hit the ground.

Even with her many attempts to keep the plane in the air, Y/n's aircraft was hit, a burst of flames erupting from its engines as it spiraled out of control.

“Our engines been hit!”

Y/n’s voice echoed through the radio of the remaining aircraft’s. This is exactly what Bucky had been worried about. His heart clenched in terror as he watched her plane slowing falling out of the sky and closer to the earth below, a trail of smoke marking its descent.

In a state of panic, Y/n hit the bailout bail, urging everyone to get out while she tried to keep the plane up a little longer.

“Y/n, we’ve gotta get out!” Her co-pilot shouted as the remaining crew members jumped out into the sky.

Pushing herself out of her seat, Y/n rushed out of the cockpit right behind her co-pilot. The plane was descending quicker as each second went by.

Once her co-pilot got out, she jumped into the open skies, the bullets continuing to cut to through the air like flies.

Looking down at the land underneath her feet, the world seemed so large. She had never seen it this close before.

Y/n opened her parachute, the thick fabric billowing out behind her like a white flag of surrender.

What waited for her after had worried her more than anything.

Bucky held his breath for what felt like an eternity. He had no way of knowing if Y/n had gotten out of the plane.

On their aircraft, Bucky and his crew faced their own battle for survival, the enemy bullets raining down on their engines, not giving them much time to think of a backup plan.

With a high-pitched whine, their aircraft shuddered and lurched. It was then that Bucky urged the pilot to hit the bailout bell, giving the rest of the crew enough time to get out.

Once they were out, the pilot, along with Bucky would be the last to leave. Unable to decide who should jump out first, Bucky eventually jumped out into the open skies.

As he plummeted towards the earth, the wind whipping past his ears, Bucky braced himself for the impact, his mind a whirlwind of chaos. Was Y/n alive? Did she land?

Miraculously, he landed safely in a rural area of Westphalia, the soft earth cushioning his fall. As he picked himself up, he quickly gathered up his parachute, rolling it up so no one could see it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure in the distance, a familiar silhouette standing amidst the rolling fields.

Heart pounding in his chest, Bucky stumbled towards the figure, his legs shaky with exhaustion. And there, under the vast expanse of the open sky, he saw Y/n, her parachute deflated at her feet, her eyes wide with shock.

For a moment, they simply stood there, the world around them silent, the only sounds of the rustle of the wind through the trees.

And then, with a rush of emotion that threatened to overwhelm him, Bucky rushed over to Y/n and pulled her into his arms, holding her close as if afraid she might disappear.

"Y/n," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

She buried her face in his chest, clinging to him as tears streamed down her face. "I thought I lost you,” he whispered, his voice filled with relief.

Bucky held her tightly, feeling the weight of his words from earlier. "Y/n, I'm sorry." he said, his voice filled with distress.

“I didn’t mean a word that I said,” Bucky whispered, his voice choked with emotion. “I was a fool to let you go like that.”

Y/n gazed up at him with a small, sad smile played on her lips. “Bucky, you’re an idiot. Do you know that?”

“I know- and I’m so sor-”

Y/n brought her finger to Bucky’s lips as soon as she heard the sound of voices. He quickly closed his mouth, and moved up next to Y/n. Both of them dropped to the ground, peeking through the tall pile of hay, only to see people occupying the farm nearby.

They listened closely to the words being spoken by the occupants, only to realize none of them were in english. They were in German.

“Oh, shit.” Bucky muttered in a low voice, receiving an annoyed glance from Y/n.

“We need to get out of here before they find us,” Y/n continued to keep a close eye on the man walking around the farm. If they stayed there for too long, there would be a higher likelihood of them getting caught.

“Maybe we can escape through those trees. It’ll give us some cover so no one can see us.” Y/n motioned her head in the direction of the dense forest in front of them.

“No. It's too dangerous. Someone might’ve found out that our plane crashed in this area. They'll be looking for us. We have to lay low for a little.” Bucky shook his head in refusal as he knew this territory was unfamiliar to them and too risky to wander around.

Never in a million years would he have imagined that he and Y/n would go down together. Their lives were still in danger regardless of each others’ company, but at least they wouldn’t be going through it alone for the time being.

The specter of the missing crew still loomed in the shadows, and they both silently prayed that their crew made it out alive.

Now all Bucky and Y/n had to worry about was getting out of Germany. Alive.