#that how he’s also human and makes mistakes since if you’re familiar with the series Gojo isn’t really treated like person at all

[tariah23]

Well, I’m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, he’s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I don’t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones who’ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth, too 😭… out of love. He’s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eye’s sparkle whenever he’s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (he’s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway 🥺…) from what we’ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)

[dorimena]

I seriously love Bakugou and Todoroki. Especially Bakugou in his tight winter costume in S5. And I love Dom reader and femdom more than a sub. Can I pleaseee request Todoroki or Bakugou where the reader is recording them playing with a vibrator or dildo but get overstimulated because they can't cum from the cock ring because it's their punishments since they forgot their anniversary so reader also forget to stop the toys even if they beg reader to stop in the camera.if you don't mind the request

I don’t mind~ May your sin be forgiven with this prayer (˘⌣˘人) This sounds really, really sexy, so I had a blast imagining and putting this into words.

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯; bakugou katsuki & todoroki shoto

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱; 2.1k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; fem!reader, sex toys (dildo, vibrators, cockring), overstimulation, cam sex (recording), exhibitionism, semi-public, dom!reader, sub!character

𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰; balcony sex (?), threesome, whiny Bakugou, weeping Todoroki, punishment, orgasm denial, aged-up characters, Bakugou and Todoroki are both 20+

𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢; Unravel Me by Sabrina Claudio and Fuck Love by XXXTENTACION ft. Trippie Reid somehow helped me piece this together. Sorry if there are any typos! It’s not proofread.

𝕯𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊

“I-I-”

“W-we! We-”

You watch as both men struggle to speak, trying to ask for forgiveness, once again. It’s the fourth time this hour, the way Bakugou tries to open his mouth wide enough to not slur his words and Todoroki tries to correct Bakugou while keeping himself coherent.

It’s cute how the smartest guys in your life seem to fail miserably in having a decent human conversation

Well, you can’t blame them either, not with the way you keep toying around with the intensity of the vibrators taped to their dicks, cum drying on the toy enough to show anyone who looks up on the balcony that these two men, with such stature and muscles, are easily falling apart.

“Speak better, sweethearts. Can’t have you guys sounding so dumb on camera, right?”

Oh yeah, and you’re even recording them, in case anyone else would want to watch the rising proheros break.

You’re not actually going to show them to the public, but maybe to their friends. Maybe Kirishima would like to watch? Kaminari? Sero? Or maybe Iida? Midoriya?

Heck, the girls might even ask some day.

But you know what makes you curious about showing this video to their friends?

The way both Bakugou and Todoroki are presenting themselves beautifully, as if they’re pro porn stars saving the wanks rather than proheros saving the day.

It’s cute, how Bakugou’s puffing his muscular chest in the air as if they were the juiciest tits ever, which they are, and how Todoroki is somehow sensually humping the air with every buzz against his furious red tip.

Your eyes stay on the screen, making sure the lighting is entering nice enough to make it seem like they’re glowing, other than their post-orgasm glow.

How many times have they come by now?

“Babes, how many times have you cum?”

They both shake their heads.

Of course they wouldn’t know. They just take what they’re receiving. They’re making up for their mistake.

You still pout, tapping the touchable screen to even out the weird lighting as another cloud covers the sun, again.

Maybe giving their punishment out on the balcony wasn’t such a good idea.

As you look down to the floor below them, seeing the once growing puddle of cum slowly be pushed by the wind to trail off towards the side of the balcony, seeping through the small opening and probably dripping feets below is what keeps you positive, happy knowing people will eventually look up and wonder ‘what the fuck is going on?’

Well, either the drying cum gives away your dirty activities or it’s Todoroki’s wailing as an orgasm is ripped out of him forcibly.

Pity nothing comes from his tip, not since some time ago.

They both thought they deserve to cum and be satisfied?

Maybe you should’ve put the cock rings on them before making them come the first two times, but their reactions and frustration with how little some cum leaves or how their body reacts with the dry convulsions makes you giggle in pride.

Pretty babes.

“Todoroki, shut up. You’ll make the neighbors look over- oh! Oh, that’s what you want? I understand.”

And poor Todoroki is just shaking his head way too fast, enough to give him whiplash, but you just snicker as you reach over to a white box.

An unfamiliar white box.

Bakugou’s eyeing Todoroki in pity, wondering what the other will have to endure as he keeps trying to fight off his orgasm.

How he’s doing it, he has no clue. But god his dick hurts.

He’s been wanting to cum for the past 30 minutes, but with the way he resents this stupid cock ring, he’d rather not humilliate himself in front of you and figure out how else to please you.

Maybe he should offer to eat you out?

The way his body is super tense and his breathing is shallow doesn’t escape your attention, less how much pity is showing itself on his face as he shakes his face in disapproval with Todoroki’s recent dry orgasm.

Good thing you invested in this double dildo.

Neither of the boys take notice with how you’re lubing the dildo that looks like it’d belong to you. It’s quite pretty, long and thick enough to hopefully please your boys.

Even if they won’t get to cum.

“Bakugou,” you start, smiling as you watch his once bright eyes suddenly darken as shock takes over his face.

What the

“Fuck is that?!” He yells out, accidentally letting his body relax as it finally submits to the vibrations of the toy, his yell turning into an unbroken series of high-pitched moans, his hips losing control with how incredibly close he is.

“A double dildo, baby. Look! It even looks like if I’d be fucking you two, isn’t that fun?”

Bakugou shakes his head, gasping ‘no, no, no!’ before he falls forward, balancing himself with his palms as he sobs through his first dry orgasm. Maybe he shouldn’t have held back for so long, not with the way his body unforgivably goes through waves of pure unsatisfied pleasure.

Todoroki, meanwhile, is nodding eagerly, eyes welling up in happy tears at the idea of getting fucked, in getting more pleasure and love from you, even if this is meant to be punishment.

But, why are you exposing them like this?

They forgot your anniversary.

Your 3rd anniversary as a throuple, the anniversary Bakugou swallowed his bite and pride to confess to you how much he loves you and how he’s falling in love with Todoroki too; the anniversary Todoroki finally let loose the dam of emotions and even if a bit tipsy, agreed he too was falling in love with both you and Bakugou, how he hasn’t ever felt so understood, so loved, so safe.

So, yeah, how dare they forget?

But if they wanna be dumb, you’ll help with that.

It’s been a while now since you’ve turned off the vibrators and since you’ve prepped them well enough to take the dildo together.

The scene in front of you is gorgeous, ethereal, sublime.

You just want to ruin them like this everyday.

“Aagh! Ugh! F-fuck! Sl-slow do-own! Haaah~”

“S-sorry! ‘m s-sorry! Ca-an’t! Nnah…”

It’s cute watching them argue a bit, how Bakugou can’t take how fast Todoroki is fucking himself back on the dildo while also pushing the toy deeper into Bakugou. And Todoroki doesn’t actually look sorry, not with how his eyes keep crossing everytime he manages to get the toy to hit his sweet spot.

He’s trying so hard to win your forgiveness by putting up with this, but it’s kind of sad knowing you’re not going to stop anytime soon, or take off the cockrings.

Not like they know anyways.

Bakugou might’ve known, might’ve noticed, with the way he’s trying to keep this dragging as slow and steady as possible; with the way his precum is struggling to escape the confines the cockring gives; with how much his red and miserably hard dick keeps jumping with every push Todoroki’s ass gives him.

You’re lounging about, resisting the urge to get off to the scene in front of you, or else they’d start begging to let them please you as apologies, and knowing how sentimental this day is for you, you know you’d immediately give in.

But this is punishment for their forgetfulness.

So, as the cherry on top of this cum covered balcony sex sundae, you’ll also forget about them.

It lasted for a while as you got bored with how neither of them seemed to be reaching another orgasm.

If only the dildo had a vibration option.

But the vibrators still taped on their dicks will have to do.

So you turn them back on, and oh would you look at that! The cockrings could also vibrate.

The pleasure-filled scream coming from Bakugou and the cute, drawled whine of your name Todoroki lets out makes you feel grateful for thinking ahead, kinda.

Now both boys are writhing against each other, different ways to let out their desperations and dying need to properly cum manifesting in either rapid fucking on the dildo to simply submitting to the minstruations of the other party.

To put it in better, shorter words, Bakugou took the reigns in fucking the dildo in such rigor and strength that made Todoroki lay on his chest, ass still up as he simply took everything Bakugou kept pushing into him, mouth opened as hiccups and drool escaped. His eyes settle onto your form, watering as more tears gather on his waterline before dropping to the ground his face is resting on.

It feels so good, so, so good he can’t believe this is punishment. Even if he hasn’t been able to properly cum for some time now, he still thinks you’re being nice with them. Must be because of the anniversary that you sadly reminded them of.

He’s trying his best to push back on the dildo, wanting Bakugou to feel just as good as him, just as fucked as him.

And everytime the toy hits him just right, Todoroki sees stars, feels an all too familiar tingly sensation as he tries to grab his dick, but when you turn the vibrator up even more, his hands just lay on the ground, nails raking as he tries gripping on something, anything.

He really, really, really needs to cum. He wants to cum.

Keep being a good boy for you.

But all he gets is a choked sob of your name leaving his mouth as his eyes roll to the back of his head, eyebrows furrowed upwards as the strongest orgasm takes over his body, he’d be convinced there’s an earthquake happening. Small whimpers of how much it hurts leaves his mouth soon after, his dick twitching pathetically as it slowly becomes purple, barely a dribble of cum managing to escape.

Bakugou is in no good shape either, loudly moaning and crying out how good you’re fucking him, how he’s taking your cock, how good he is being, to please, please, please let him cum.

But actually cum, to let him contaminate the floor even more with his sperm, to let him taste it even, if that would make you happy and forgive him.

He’s close to wailing by now, hips going impossible faster as he forgets all about poor Todoroki riding out his high.

And the moment you turn on the vibrators intensity, he gets dizzy, breath getting stuck in his throat as his brain tries to process the spiraling of his warm, hot orgasm growing too much, burning him everywhere as if it were lava.

Small sparks sound on his fingertips as he howls and gets hurled into his own orgasm, back arching and head thrown back as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

He didn’t even notice the tears rolling down his cheeks, not with how his mind only cares about how good yet bad this orgasm feels.

Not even how loud his high-pitched wails of how good it feels, how much it hurts, is enough to alarm anyone near the radius of this defiling act.

Both boys are left shuddering or twitching through their intense dry orgasm, the way their bodies react with the built up cum in their dicks, with how hot and how wreckless they’re becoming with their quirks.

Still connected with the dildo, neither move, unless it’s some pathetic hump to help drag the orgasm a little more before they try to even remember what letter your name begins with.

Bakugou’s whimpering.

Todoroki’s crying silently.

Both blinking the haze out of their vision as they remember about the buzzing, about the relentless feeling on their really, really sensitive dicks.

Bakugou’s crying now.

Todoroki’s just busy mewling like a slut by now.

And when they both turn to look at you, they gasp so loudly one of them begins choking on air and the other with saliva.

Where’d you go?!

Come back!

And ‘come back’ and ‘forgive us’ is the only thing anyone could possibly hear for the next few hours as they fuck the dildo and let the vibrators do their job in milking more and more orgasms out of them.

If only they’d look closer, they would’ve seen a post-it note stuck on the tripod of the camera telling them you went to the kitchen and that they better come crawling.

Oh well, you’re enjoying the view anyways as you sip on some liquor of your liking, turning off the vibrators as you slowly walk to the balcony.

The sun’s beginning to set. You’re not that cruel in letting them fuck each other in the cold.

The bedroom is much better, and comfier.

Perfect for you to finish the job and let them finally, finally, get their deserving orgasms.

You’ll be sure to milk out

Every.

Single.

Drop.

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #2 - The Beginning of a Family

Word Count: 1804

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Human Trafficking (once, it was a mission Reader did), Minor Character Injury

Setting/Characters: The first half-ish of The Avengers in 2012; Reader, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor, Mentions of Loki, Phil Coulson, and Clint Barton, OC!Agent Anderson

A/N: Here’s One Shot Number 2! I was thinking of making it longer and adding the actual Battle of Manhattan, but I dunno if I’m gonna do that. I just wanted these to be One Shots of first meetings and other smaller events. I didn’t want to do scene-for-scene two parters. If you want me to, I can, I don’t mind doing it, I just wasn’t planning on it. I’ve kinda been slacking today, which is why I haven’t cranked out more than this one, but I’ll see if I can finish one more for tonight. Tomorrow’s another late night for me at work, BUT! Tomorrow night FATWS comes out! So I will be doing the next Episode! I also don’t have Friday off this week, so the Parts might bleed into Saturday, but they will come this weekend!

Reminder that this has nothing to do with FATWS the show, but I don’t have a title for my FATWS Series, which is what these are based off of, so this is what they’re called for now! If you have any ideas for names, feel free to send them in! I’m just too lazy to come up with something clever for the whole Series.

Thank you so much for reading! As always, not beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Be kind to yourselves and others! Stay tuned and enjoy!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

You were exhausted, coming back from an assignment that lasted a little over two months. It’d been your first one since you were assigned to help Steve adjust, and you were guessing they’d keep you on desk duty for a few months before sending you back out again. Which frustrated you to no end.

But then you got back your personal cell phone from a fellow agent and, seeing you had a few  voicemails - which you never had - you flipped it on.

“Hi, Y/N.” Your lips turned up at the man you started growing close to over the past year. “I-I know you’re on a mission right now. I mean, you just left last week. Anyways, I just…I hope you’re doin’ okay. You probably won’t get this until later, but…still. I hope you’re safe. I, uh, I got that book. The one you were joking about me getting. The U.S. History for Dummies one. It goes farther back than I need to know, but I still read all of it. It helped. I wish you were here though. But I know you’re working. And that’s important. Um… I guess I’ll see you in a few months.”

The phone beeped before the next message played. “I took your advice. I got a sketchbook and some other stuff. There’s a ton of new supplies. I’m kinda excited to try them out. Maybe they’re not new but they’re more accessible now than they used to be. And I found a gym. In Brooklyn. It’s kinda run down - a hole in the wall type place - but they don’t do memberships and they don’t care how long you stay as long as you pay for your time. So that’s nice. I guess. Anyways…hi. I don’t think I said that earlier. It’s Steve, by the way. But you probably guessed that. Um…that’s all. I just wanted to let you know. Stay safe, honey. Abbyssinia.”

You listened to the next couple ones, all along the same lines. Steve telling you about his day; about the dog he was allowed to pet on his run or the different coffee he tried this morning at your previous suggestion. You snickered a little, shaking your head. You would never guessed that Hitler hitting, Nazi punching Captain America was so…soft. Cute.

His last voicemail was from earlier that morning, and it made her brow furrow. “Hey, honey. I, uh…God, I really wish you were here. I was told you’d be getting back last week, but then they said it might be another couple weeks because something happened? I hope nothing happened. Please be okay. I’ve really missed you. I know it’s only been a year, but…you’re the only familiar thing I have right now. I guess Fury was right to choose you since you were the first person I saw. There’s a, uh, problem. Fury’s got a mission for me. Some guy named Loki stole the Tesseract. Which was HYDRA’s secret weapon. That blue cube thing. I was just getting used to laptops and fast food and this…it’s just a lot. Overwhelming. You were always good at making things less intimidating. I’ve gotta go. Some SHIELD personnel are picking me up now. We’re going to…somewhere. I’m sure you would know, but they haven’t exactly told me. Hoping to see you soon, Y/N. Please be safe.”

You frowned at the information, looking up at one of your fellow agents, Anderson. “Hey.” He turned his head towards you from his conversation with the copilot. “Is something going on at HQ?”

“The Helicarrier.” Anderson corrected. “Fury just called it in. Something with the Tesseract. And some guy’s mind controlling people. He’s got Barton, apparently. The director is bringing a few people on board; Banner, Stark, Romanoff. Rogers, too, I heard. He wants you to be there ASAP, so we’re going there now.”

Letting out a sigh, you rubbed your eyes and nodded. “Alright. Let’s go see what’s going on.”

*************************

Fury met you as you walked off the jet, lugging your duffle bag over your shoulder. You were still in your clothes from the mission; a human trafficking ring in Guam. Dirty, torn up jeans along with a white tank top hugging your torso and a flannel, unbuttoned, over your shoulders. One of your sneakers had a hole in it, too, and you were walking with a slight limp from the dislocated kneecap you got a few days prior.

“Agent.” He nodded in greeting, passing you a file. “The others are waiting. We just brought in Loki.”

You chewed your cheek, narrowing your eyes as you scanned the information in the file. It had personal files of the others, but you didn’t need to look through those. You knew Natasha very well, considering she taught you half the things you know, along with Barton. You knew Stark - of course you did - especially after you helped set Natasha up to be his secretary a while back. Banner you were also knowledgeable about, seeing as you went undercover to find him when he first took off and had been part of the tracking team on him ever since. Thor you had learned about after his fiasco in New Mexico from Coulson. And, last but certainly not least, Steve Rogers, who you knew better than any file could explain.

“Walk me through this; Thor and Loki are the real Thor and Loki? Like, from Norse myths?”

“Apparently so. You know about the New Mexico incident with the two last year, don’t you?”

You nodded, pinching your lips together tightly. “Well, yeah, but I thought…I dunno. I guess it just didn’t click. So,” you tucked the file under your arm securely, raising an eyebrow at Fury. “We’re fighting a god? An actual god?”

“With an army of aliens.” He confirmed.

“Wonderful.” You huffed as the two of you turned a corner, making your way onto the bridge, just in time to hear Stark talking to Banner about him turning into the Hulk.

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube.” Fury butted in. You crossed your arms behind Fury, leaning on your good leg. “I was hoping you might join him. Before you do, this is-” 

“Y/N! You’re back!”

You shot a grin to the blonde, who perked up upon seeing you. “Hi, Steve. Just in time, too, huh.” You nudged Natasha slightly. “Hey, Nat. Sorry about Clint.”

She shrugged. “I’m just glad you’re here to help.”

“I’m sorry.” You looked over to find Banner frowning contemplatively at you. “Do I know you?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but Fury beat you to it. “Formalities later. Y/L/N, we’ll bring you up to speed-”

“I’ll get there, sir. How are you boys planning on tracking down the Tesseract?” You questioned, nodding in the two geniuses’ direction.

“I’d start with that stick of his.” Steve suggested, turning to look at the duo as well. “It may be magical but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”

“I don’t know about that, but it is powered by the Cube.” Fury stated. “And I’d like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.”

A tall, broad as hell blonde looked at Fury, confused. “Monkeys? I do not understand-”

“I do!” Steve jumped in, pointing at Thor, before leaning back in his seat at the silence that came after his exclamation. “I-I understood that reference.”

You chuckled and shook your head, winking at Steve when he smiled bashfully at you. As the two scientists - was Stark a scientist? - started heading out, Steve hopped up, padding over to you.

“You’re back early.”

“Late, technically.” You shrugged, letting him pull you in for a hug, your hand rubbing his back. “I got your calls.”

He pulled away, his ears turning red. “Oh, yeah. I, uhm-”

You sniggered. “It’s fine, Steve. You can call me whenever you need to. I’m just sorry I couldn’t answer you sooner.”

“You were working.” He shrugged half heartedly. “Did it go okay? Are you okay?”

“Yes, Steven. I’m fine.” You rolled your eyes just as a yawn threatened to escape your lips. “If not a little tired.” You tapped on the star against his chest. “Nice suit, by the way.”

“Ha ha.” He grinned, eyeing your own clothing. “You’re matching me.” He tugged on the red, white, and blue flannel hanging from your arms. “You also look like shit.”

You snorted. “Wow. What a gentleman. Let’s get this whole Loki situation over with so I can go to bed, yeah?”

He chuckled a little with a nod. “Sounds like a plan, honey.” The two of you started out of the bridge. “You should shower first, though.”

“You’re a bully, you know that?”

“I’m just sayin’!”

“I’m just sayin’!” You mocked with a huff. “Leave me be, Rogers.”

His laughter was cut short, making you look over at him curiously, only to find his slitted eyes studying your movements. “Why are you limping?”

“Relax, Captain. I just dislocated my knee. It’s fine. Shit happens on missions, you know that.”

“Is that why you came back late?”

Shaking your head, you lead him to one of the private rooms the Helicarrier had so you could shower and change. “No. I just needed a little more time. That’s all. Now let’s focus on the problem at hand. We can talk more later.”

He hesitated, leaning against the doorway and watching you set your bag on the small cot.  “Okay. As long as you’re alright.”

Your heart jumped a bit at the concern laced in his tone, the apprehension in those blue eyes - which you found out had some green in them - making your breath hitch slightly. “I am.” You spoke softly with a firm nod of your head, trying to assure him and his worries. “I promise.”

“I’m gonna go check on Banner and Stark, then. Come find me when you’re done.”

You cleared your throat to recover yourself, throwing him a cheeky grin. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile, before turning and walking out, leaving you alone and confused.

What was that? You’d never had that reaction to anything. Your heart doesn’t race whenever someone walks in the room. Not like it did with him. What the hell did that even mean?

You shook your head, clearing your throats. You didn’t have time to dwell on that now. You doubted it was anything more than a fluke. You were just tired and seeing someone familiar, who was genuinely excited to see you was like a breath of fresh air after your operation. That’s all. Yeah.

With that decided, you headed to the shower, head spinning with new thoughts of this problem with the God of Mischief and that stupid blue cube.

All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading​ @bibliophilewednesday​

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)

Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader

genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol

Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!

wordcount: 2.2k

taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine

a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!

series masterlist

part one part two

The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.

Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.

It was the only face behind the killings.

But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.

“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”

“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”

You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.

You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.

“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”

You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.

“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”

“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.

A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”

Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.

You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.

“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”

Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.

You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.

It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.

For the first time in forever, you looked alive.

Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.

“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”

Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.

You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”

Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”

The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.

You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.

Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.

He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.

Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.

This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.

It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.

The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.

After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.

They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.

A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.

A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.

Billy.

Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”

A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”

With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”

The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.

“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.

“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.

“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.

“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”

The subject's face dropped.

“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”

“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”

The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.

“What is this? What fucking game?”

“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”

“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”

A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”

“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”

He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.

A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”

Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”

Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.

Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.

He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.

That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?

[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]

[triptuckers]

New In Town (part seven) - Kaz Brekker

Request: nope Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: after kaz outsmarts you, you're desperate for a new way to get your information. it turns out kaz has a solution to your problem Warnings:  none Word count: 2.4K A/N: the last part wow!! I had so much fun writing this, thanks to everyone who has read this series! <3 PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (all grishaverse fics): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha@story-scribbler@romanoffstarkovs@daliareads@meiitanoia @itsnotquimey@sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone@aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess @sassybadqueen TAG LIST (Kaz Brekker): @mufnasa @Janesofia7 @stairscortana @parker-natasha @illicitghosts @brick-by-brick553 @gallysonegoodlung @dropssofjupitter @earthtokace TAG LIST (New In Town): @calums-betch add yourself to my tag lists here

You couldn't believe it. You stayed up all night trying to figure out how Kaz could outsmart you. How he figured out how you got your information on his jobs.

You hadn't found the answer yet.

While you're kind of angry he figured it out, you're also impressed. It took him a while, but he did figure it out eventually.

But now you have to figure out a new way to get information.

You couldn't climb the roof again soon, obviously. No doubt Kaz would have sent Inej up there to make sure you couldn't listen in on their meetings again.

Even if you were to approach the Slat, you now have six people to be on the lookout for, instead of just Jesper and Kaz. And there was no way of telling wether or not Kaz had given your description to other Dregs as well.

You spend the rest of the day in your apartment, trying to figure out how Kaz could have figured it out. And sulking because they got away with your prize. Well, it was their prize first, so you didn't really have a reason to be upset about it.

The next day, you're walking toward the Barrel. You're wearing a coat with a large hood pulled over your head and part of your face. Even if someone did see you, there's a chance they wouldn't see your face.

But just how much does Kaz know about you? He knows your true identity, the name the Ravkans had given you, how you get your information. You'd be a fool to think he wouldn't recognise you if he saw you in the streets.

In the distance, you see the familiar crooked building appear. Your eyes are darting around the street, looking for any of the crows. When you don't see them, you slip in the alley behind the Slat.

Though you know you probably won't hear anything, you climb the building anyway.

All the way to your spot by Kaz' window. Maybe you wouldn't hear a detailed plan for a job. But you could happen to overhear something else. Maybe you could hold that information against him. Demand part of the prize.

But when half of the day has passed, you hadn't heard as much as a door opening.

Could they be away on a new job already? You had no idea just how many jobs he had in a week. After all, you only knew about the ones they talked about when they were in Kaz' rooms. There was no telling if they talked about other jobs in other places.

When you rise again, your muscles are sore and stiff. You would come back the next day, see if you could hear anything. Maybe they were out celebrating last night's success. They might be back tomorrow.

But they're not. Nor are they there to talk business the day after.

For an entire week, you hope to eavesdrop on them. No luck.

When a week has passed you find yourself on your way to the Slat again. You don't even know why. The chance you'd be able to hear something is basically nonexistent.

But there's some comfort in the routine. When you lay down on the roof, you can tell it's going to be a sunny day. There are no clouds in the air, and it's still a bit cold from the night.

You're starying to get lost in thoughts when you finally hear a sound in Kaz' room.

Footsteps. And of course his cane. You hold your breath, excited to finally hear him say something. You're surprised, when he seems to address you.

'Do you really think I'll tell you everything again?'

You carefully peer over the edge and see how Kaz pokes his head out of the window. You don't even bother to duck away. Instead, you glare at him.

'I've been eating the worst food every day because I need to save money for my fucking rent.' you say, frustratedly. 'My old job won't take me back.'

Kaz shrugs. 'Not my fault.' he says.

'Yes it is.' you say.

'No. It's not my fault that you don't get to steal from us anymore.' he says.

'Just give me a little something.' you say, almost begging him.

'I don't think I will.' says Kaz.

You groan. 'You're the worst.' you say.

'You have no idea.' says Kaz. 'Now come in so we can talk like civilised human beings.'

You glare at him again. 'Your words, not mine.' says Kaz.

His head disappears again and you hesitate. You then skilfully climb through the window. You let your eyes roam through the room.

It's clear that this is his office. There's stacks of paper everywhere, and though the room isn't that big, he's crammed a desk in there.

Kaz is sitting behind it, gesturing to a chair across from him. You look at him and slowly walk over to the chair to sit down.

He pours you a glass of kvas, then pours one for himself. You don't say anything, waiting for him to speak.

'So.' he says. 'Did you honestly think we'd have a meeting here again?'

You shrug. 'I hoped you would. Turns out I was wrong.' you say as you take a sip of your drink. 'How did you know how I got the information?'

'Inej.' says Kaz.

You chuckle softly. 'Of course. Did she see me?' you say.

Kaz nods. 'Once. She immediately told me someone was up on the roof near the window. I knew it was you. I suddenly knew that was how you kept getting the information.' he says.

'And you set a trap.' you say.

'And I set a trap.' says Kaz. 'You didn't even second guess it. Just took the bait like that. You ought to be more careful. This is still the Barrel. Everyone tricks everyone.'

'This is still the Barrel, but I'm still an outsider. I can make a few mistakes.' you say.

'Are you still an outsider?' says Kaz, finishing his drink.

You frown at him. 'Well, I'm not exactly Kerch now., if that's what you're implying.' you say.

'You don't have to be an outsider.' says Kaz. 'I've told you before, I value your skills. You would be a remarkable crow. An exceptional addition to the team.'

It sounds very tempting. Especially since you have no source of information now. Still, you should be able to survive on your own. Find and plan your own jobs. You're more than capable. But Kaz knows Ketterdam. Knows its valuables, its people, he's got eyes and ears everywhere.

But you're not a team player.

'I'll give you the same answer to the same question. I work alone.' you say.

'Fine with me.' says Kaz. 'Enjoy your cheap food.'

He gets up and walks through the door into a different room that's attached to his office. You're waiting for him to come back, but when he doesn't, you climb out of the window again.

You climb down to the street, and start walking back to your apartment. You really had to find some jobs, and fast.

After having declined Kaz' offer a second time, you doubt he'd offer it to you again. You're determined to find a job yourself.

You spend the next few weeks trying to find a job. But the more gangs won't accept you, the less jobs you find and the worse food you eat to save money, the more desperate you become.

Every day, Kaz' offer is still on your mind. You're starting to think he might have told every gang leader to not give you a job, so you'd have no choice but to accept his offer. You didn't even know if gangs had a lot of communication with each other, but you did know Kaz was more than capable of reaching out to them to stop them from employing you.

After no gang is willing to offer you a job, you try all the cafes and pubs in the city. You even try some near the university, but they'd taken one look at your clothes - not exactly student material - and sent you away.

And when your landlord approaches you and tells you that if you don't pay your rent on time she'll kick you out, you realise you really have to do something.

And desperate times call for desperate measures.

Your feet feel heavy when you walk toward the Slat. You feel like a fool. Declining Kaz' offer twice, and then going back to him when your landlord threatens to kick you out.

You don't bother to conceal your face, but you do take your weapons with you. It's still the Barrel.

Instead of climbing to the roof, you go through the front door of the crooked building. You step into a hallway, and when you look through an open door, you see something what looks like a combined dining room and kitchen.

Deciding it's a good place to start, you enter the room. There a few people there, none of which you recognise. They give you funny looks, but none of them speaks to you as they turn back to whatever they were doing.

You're standing there, unsure of what to do. Could you just walk up to Kaz' floor? Or would that be considered rude?

Right when you want to slowly turn around and walk the stairs, someone enters through a back door. You're relieved to see it's someone you recognise.

Nina walks up to you when she spots you.

'Y/N, right?' she says.

'Yes.' you say.

She smiles at you. 'You must be here looking for Kaz.' she says.

'How did you know?' you say.

Nina still smiles at you. 'He's always talking about you. He was convinced you'd accept his second offer. Is that why you're here?' she says.

'Yes, I want to talk to him, but wasn't sure if I could just walk up to his floor and knock on his door.' you say.

'Probably not.' says Nina. 'He might've made an exception for you, though. I'll take you upstairs.'

You follow Nina to the stairs.

'Why would he make an exception for me?' you ask her.

To your surprise, Nina chuckles.

'You're the only one to ever outsmart him. You've gotten his attention, and he's impressed by you.' she says.

'Really?' you say. 'But all the stories I've heard about him on the streets describe him as some indestructible, clever thief. Hard to outsmart.'

'He is hard to outsmart.' says Nina. 'Which is why he's so impressed by you. Here we are.'

You've stopped in front of a door. Nina looks at you, and with a wink, she knocks on the door.

'Come in.' says Kaz' voice.

Nina opens the door and gestures for you to follow her.

'Look who I found wandering around downstairs.' she says.

When Kaz' eyes fall on you, you can tell he's pleased to see you. He doesn't smile, but there's a hint of it in his eyes.

'Y/N.' he says. 'How's the cheap food?'

'Still horrible.' you say.

'Nina, leave us.' says Kaz.

'Give a yell when he attacks you with his cane.' says Nina, and she leaves the room and shuts the door behind you.

'I could probably guess why you're here, but I'd still like to know why Nina caught you wandering in the Slat.' says Kaz.

'Does that offer still stand?' you ask him.

'It does. he says.

'Then I accept it.' you say.

Now, he does smile. He stands and offers you a gloved hand, which you shake.

'Welcome to the Dregs.' says Kaz.

'I wasn't exactly sure if the job was still mine.' you admit.

'How so?' says Kaz, sitting back down.

'Well, I'd declined it twice. But then I got here and was told I'd impressed you.' you say.

'Did Nina tell you that?' says Kaz.

You nod. 'She said I'm the only one to outsmart you.' you say.

'Until I outsmarted you.' says Kaz.

'But I outsmarted you first.' you say with a smile.

'We'll get you a room at the Slat.' says Kaz, quickly changing the subject. 'We lost someone a few weeks back and the room's been empty every since. You can take it, it's on the second floor next to Jesper's room.'

'I'll move my stuff right away.' you say.

You get up and walk to the door. Just before opening it, you look at Kaz over your shoulder. 'Thanks.' you say. 'For the job.'

Kaz nods at you and you leave his office.

When you walk through the door and step out onto the street, you hear someone call your name.

You turn around to see Jesper and Wylan catching up with you.

'Hey!' says Jesper. 'Nina told us you accepted the job!'

'I did.' you say. 'Looks like I'll still do your jobs for you, only Kaz is aware of it now.'

Jesper places a hand over his heart. 'Already threatening us, you'll fit right in.' he says.

'Kaz gave me a room in the Slat, next to yours.' you say.

'We know.' says Wylan. 'He sent us to help you move.'

'Oh, I don't have a lot of stuff. I can manage on my own.' you say.

'Walk up and down three times by yourself, or once with our help.' says Jesper. 'And then we can invite you for your first drink at the Slat.'

'Alright then.' you say. 'You guys can help. If you let me buy the first round.'

'Agreed.' says Wylan.

With Jesper and Wylan's help, it indeed takes one trip from your old apartment to the Slat. You put your stuff in your new room, deciding to arrange everything later, and head back down.

You see Nina and Matthias have joined Jesper and Wylan, and right when you walk through the door you see Inej walking down the stairs.

Apparently, news travelled fast. They all welcome you and congratulate you on the job, telling you they can't wait to go on a job with you.

Just when you order the first round of drinks, Kaz comes downstairs as well.

He sits down next to you and grabs the glass Jesper offered him.

Kaz looks at you before raising his glass to make a toast.

'To Y/N, the newest addition to the Crows. And also the first person to outsmart me. I'm sure you're all going to make sure I will never forget that.' says Kaz.

You smile as they all raise their glass and say your name. You're glad you accepted his offer after all.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[weightlessrosewrites]

Heartbreak Headcanons

A/N: some headcanons for Dazai, Chuuya, and Kunikida reacting to finding you on their doorstep after being rejected/broken up with. No abilities. Gender neutral reader TW: alcohol mention for Chuuya, mentions of suicide for Dazai.  Masterlist 

---------

Kunikida Doppo

He.. didn’t really know what he was expecting when he found you on his doorstep late into the evening. Honestly, he thought Dazai had come to pester him.

So he took a little longer to get to the door. Upon opening his door, he immediately regretted not getting there sooner seeing your tear-streaked face. 

“ Sorry for arriving unannounced.. “ You hiccupped through a bitter smile. “ I.. didn’t know where else to go. “

Kunikida may not have been familiar with this type of situation, but you bet your ass he let you in and made you tea. 

“ Would you like to talk about it? “ He’d inquire while wrapping a blanket around your body. 

If yes, then he’d offer you advice and comfort, bring you tea and snacks. He’d try, and probably fail, to cheer you up, but it’s the thought that counts. After listening to what had happened, he also has a few choice words about it, and where the person who broke your heart could stick it. 

But if you wish to not talk about it, then he’ll simply enjoy some peace and quiet with you. Maybe tell you about his day, or just how pissed off he got with Dazai. 

Nevertheless, as long as you were smiling by the end of it, was all that mattered to him. 

He loves you, after all, and he’d do nearly anything for you. He’d offer you his spare bed and invite you to stay the night, and really? How could you say no to such a gentlemen?

If, for whatever reason that Kunikida comes across the person who hurt you, he will absolutely give them a piece of his mind, but he’d never resort to threatening. Regardless, that person will never look at you again.

Dazai Osamu

Dazai was most not expecting you on a rainy Thursday night. But the subtle knock at his door had him up and heading to the foyer of his little house. 

So imagine his surprise when he opened the door to find you crying, soaked from the rain, on his doorstep. His heart broke and immediately pulled you into a hug, taking a step back to close the front door. 

If you’re worried about getting him soaked too, don’t. Dazai will gladly be soaked with you just so he can try and make you feel better. He’d hug you tight and not let go. 

Wouldn’t make any jokes about committing with him; he knows he can’t joke about that when you’re in this state. Dazai wants you to live, if not for yourself, then for him. 

There’s no talking, you can’t talk. Your throat burns from trying not to cry but the words are just not there. He doesn’t mind though, he’ll murmur for you to take your time and hold you close, humming softly. You don’t recognize the tune, but it’s soothing. 

When you are ready to talk though, his front is just as wet as you are from the hug, not that he minds. 

“ sorry.. I got you wet too.. “ you mumble as you pull away. He shook his head, “ nonsense, you’re important to me. I’ll do literally anything for you. “

Is the most childish of the three, hands down. 

He’ll start cracking jokes to make you smile before he gets a set of clean clothes out for you, gently pushing you to take a shower and warm up, while he changes himself. 

Whether you shower or not doesn’t matter, because some how he’s already got snacks and blankets ready in the living room for a movie sleepover. You don’t question it. 

Once you’ve fallen asleep, he sends a series of threats to the person who hurt you. He’s up front about his past; Dazai has nothing to hide. And he makes sure the person knows it if they ever hurt you again. 

Nakahara Chuuya

Listen.. he’s got eyes and ears all over the place. He knew what was coming, he just.. wasn’t aware it would happen so fast. Chuuya didn’t have time to prepare. 

He didn’t expect you to show up at his flat at three in the morning. Your tears had since dried, and you just felt numb. You’d been dumped, and kicked out, and had no where to go. 

So.. the only logical idea was to go see the angry redhead. You thought for sure you’d be in for a lecture but.. when Chuuya opened the door, the confused look he had only fell. 

Seeing the state you were in hurt him. Wordless he reached forward and gently grabbed your wrist, tugging you into the darkened apartment. 

“ ..I don’t have anywhere to go.. “ you mumbled. Chuuya hesitated for a moment, turning to face you as he raised a brow. “ You mean to tell me he kicked you out of your own apartment? “ Oh. Oh. This, Chuuya thought, would be so much fun. 

You nodded slightly, staring at the pretty carpeted floor in shame. You could tell his was angry. Instead of yelling like you thought he would

Chuuya simply let out a heavy sigh, tugging you into a side hug. “ Bet you were expecting me to say ‘told you so’, or somethin’, hm? “ His voice was soft, and his hug was secure. 

“ ..yeah. I should have listened to you. “ You’d mumbled as he led you to the living room. He shrugged, “ it’s part of being human. We’re not perfect; we’re flawed. We don’t learn unless we make mistakes. “ 

In the end, you both ended up haphazardly laying together on the couch drinking his expensive wine.  

Out of all of them, Chuuya is the one who confronts the person who hurt you the morning after. While he threatens the person, he collects all your belongings and brings them back to his place. 

After, he helps you sort out everything with you landlord, and your ex is kicked out. Chuuya knows that, as long as you’re with him, that the dark side isn’t as scary as it feels. He’s not afraid to get blood on his hands for you. 

[souljoon]

Like a fool (pt.1)

pairing: teacher!jungkook x cafe owner!reader word count: 2k genre: fluff, smut, ex lovers au warnings: sexual content, slight dom!jungkook, sub!reader, unprotected sex (stay safe loves!)

synopsis: Everyone in the neighborhood knows you and Jungkook will inevitably end up in a wedlock despite the complicated status of your on-and-off relationship. While you want to keep a civil relationship with him, Jungkook learned not to care about labels long ago since the first time you two broke up. Whatever you’d say, he intends to keep his place in your heart taken for the rest of your life.

~~~

“Your beau is here,” Jimin prompted behind you.

Without turning in his direction, your attention to the carrot cake remaining glued to the carrot cake you were currently frosting about.

At this point, you wouldn’t even be surprised to see Jungkook on the opposite side of your bed in the morning. He seems to find it amusing to see you evidently pissed whenever he’s around. How couldn’t you? He not only takes over Jimin’s job but he often causes a scene with the customers in the cafe—which, to fuel more of your unspoken frustration, are students from the nearby community college.

You couldn’t admit how the attention he was getting from people of different gender identities still bothers you despite the mutual decision to call the engagement off. You understand your ex-fiance is a very attractive man. And his charisma could probably stir attraction from married women regardless of their age.

Over the course of six years of a complicated relationship with him, you two had already been in two break ups in college, citing his laid back self in college and your endless insecurities that urged you to try to get away from him, from the spell he had on you.

While you decided to pursue your dream to start your own cafe business post-graduation, Jungkook surprisingly landed on a teaching job in Jung-do High School which is also located in the same neighborhood two years ago. 

Footsteps are, again, back in the kitchen. “He just wore an apron. So I’m guessing he’s here until the shop closes.” It was Jimin, informing you yet again as if it was part of his job to report Jungkook’s every move to you.

This time, you sweep a brief glance behind. “Don’t let the counter vacant, Chim.” You say, cleaning up the cake board as a finishing touch to your masterpiece.

“He took over the counter, _____. How am I supposed to make him go away when he’s our own human advertisement. He’s attracting more customers!”

With a glare darted to his direction, you suggest, “Then I guess I should replace you with him, instead?”

Jimin visibly sulked, not really wanting to argue with you—his boss. “Fine!”

Six months. That’s how long you’ve been single since. Sure he had you wrapped around his fingers back then. But you wanted to prove to him and to yourself that you can live without him. However, it’s too impossible to keep up with it when he freely deems himself welcome wherever you are, maintaining his act of indifference toward the real score between you.

Intending to place the cake in the display, you finally went out of the kitchen-- ironically, just in time to run into him. Jungkook being the shameless ex-boyfriend that he is, took the cake in your hands.

He was wearing a gym class outfit— a pair of black adidas sweatpants, and a plain, white shirt over a black hoodie. If only you were not trying to stay as far as possible away from him, you’ll probably tease him about his own dress code. He doesn’t look like he just got out of his class as the teacher. He looked like he just went out of bed before he came here.

“Aren’t you supposed to be home?” You ask from behind him.

“I’m bored,” he simply replied.

“What do you mean you’re bored? Haven’t you just got off work?”

He spun around, startling you when you came face to face with him. If you couldn’t properly see his entire face before, you do now much to your annoyance.

He sighs. “I did. Look, I’m just helping Jimin-hyung out here. I won’t bother you, I swear.”

“You don’t have to because you’re not my employee, Kook.”

“Well, I could use some part time if you’re hiring.” Jungkook shrugs.

Here we go, again.

Your eyes narrowed to which roused him to raise his hands up defensively.

“Jagiya—”

“Lovebirds,” Jimin suddenly interrupts.

“What?!” You both snapped back at Jimin’s direction.

“Whoa, tone it down— you two. Restroom is right there in case you need to release the sexual tension. It’s getting intense out here.” He jests, making a shooing motions with his hands.

Jungkook wasted no more time and took it as his cue to grab your wrist, dragging you with him as he navigated the way past the kitchen into the storage room.

A temporary relief washes through you when Jungkook brought you in this enclosed, rather safe space instead of the restroom. However, dread slowly consumes your whole being when you hear the familiar sound of the knob locking.

Jungkook pivoted back, facing you. “Let’s talk here.”

Your eyes lingered down where his hand maintained his grasp around your wrist. “Why? There’s nothing else to talk about.”

“For the umpteenth time, I saw the landlord across the street like he was waiting for someone,”

You look up, quirking up an eyebrow at his sudden shot of a subject relating to Seokjin. “What’s your point?”

“I don’t trust him.” He deduces, childishly.

“What do you want me to do, find another leasing property? This shouldn’t concern you in the first place. You never once heard anything from me about Joohyun.” You mentally cursed, unable to stop yourself from mentioning the name of the woman he was seen in a restaurant a week ago.

“What’s Joohyun got anything to do with this?”

You scoff. “You know what, I don’t need to answer that. We’re not together anymore so it’s none of my business.”

Jungkook seized your attempt to leave, latching onto your arm just in time. As he pulls you back, you were met with the subtle amusement plastered obnoxiously on his face.

“We’re not done here, baby. So... Joohyun, really? My colleague?” A laugh slips out of him, seemingly pleased. You, on the other hand, felt insulted on his take of your serious remark. Your blood started rising up. So the rumors aren’t true?

You jerked away. Well... tried to, because your hand stayed locked around his firm grip. “Let me go, I need to go back to the kitchen.”

You stepped back when he abruptly inched forward. You were puzzled for a second, but when your back touched the surface of the door, you knew you fell from his trap as he steadied himself with his palms pressed flat above your head. You turned your face away, avoiding his heated gaze. But the gesture only gave Jungkook a room to nestle his head on the exposed skin of your neck.

The moment you felt his warm lips touch your skin, you squeezed your eyes shut. “You’ve been pretty good at keeping a safe distance from me, baby. You have no idea how much  I fucking miss you, missed keeping you all to myself like this.” He expresses in a thick, sultry tone.

You shake your head, knowing full well what he meant. “We c-cant, Jimin is--”

“--not here.” He finishes, pressing his lower body against yours and teasing your sweet spot with a gentle suck. The bulge on his mid-region was enough to make your panties wet instantaneously and your body heats up too quickly.

“Jungkook,” his name slips out of your mouth.

“Please tell me you’re still in birth control.” He desperately murmurs against your skin on the curve of your neck.

You frantically bobbed your head, lost at the hot trail of kisses he’s leaving on your skin.

With an eager pull of the strings on his nape and back, he rids the apron off of his front followed by a swift pull of his sweatpants with his boxers, just enough to release his hard member.

Your mouth instantaneously watered at the sight of the maddeningly pink head and aroused length, thick and hard just the way you remembered it the last time Jungkook fucked you. It happened in his car three months ago. You were too intoxicated then to control yourself from jumping up into his lap as he drove you back to your apartment. To keep your pride intact, you tried to steer clear from repeating the same mistake again. Not when you’re not officially back together.

Right now, you’re too sexually neglected to care about anything.

“I want you in my mouth,” you beg, not believing you sounded incredibly hasty than you actually have estimated.

He swats your hand off when he sensed your hand extending towards his crotch, “I’d love to fuck your mouth baby, but we don’t have that much time. I need to be inside your pussy,” You felt his palms scooping you up through your butt, sandwiching you between his body and the door. Your legs automatically weaving around his hips to steady yourself.

Then pushes your underwear aside, “This is probably the only reason why I love you wearing skirts. Easy access—fuck baby, so tight.” He barely sank his cock in, yet you could already feel the sting of your walls as they stretch around him.

Your hand flew to the back of head, eager to bury your fingers beneath his curly locks.

Just as you part your mouth to speak to encourage more his entrance, he suddenly propels his hips forward, pushing his dick to the hilt which roused a cry from you.

“Fucking tight! I’m gonna break you so much you won’t ever forget about me. You understand, darling?”

“Yes, yes, please fuck me!” You cried out, reeling from both the sting of your muscles caused by his forceful entrance, and the familiar warmth filling you full.

Without bothering to warm you up, he began a breathtaking pace despite his overwhelming intrusion. You didn’t mind, though. In fact, his thrusts were making your moans irrepressible and your thighs tremble in delight.

Jungkook places his head between the valleys of your covered mounds, not missing his faint grunts, lost in his own pleasure.

“You like that, huh? You like the idea of being fucked outside, baby girl? I’ve had enough this bullshit,” He growls with a series of rough jerk of his hips, forcing a cry of his name out of you.

“That’s right, moan my name. Just wait until I get you all alone tonight, I’ll make sure you won’t ever think of breaking up with me. Do you hear me?” He warns darkly, emphasizing the severity of his threat with a shove of his dick so deep his tip was heavenly kissing your precious spot from your insides.

“Oh god,” you lamented, deliriously.

You could already feel the building up in your abdomen just as fast as he started rocking into you. You’ve known him long enough for you to easily sense it was the same for him too, concealing his moans with his mouth latched onto your prickly skin.

“That’s right. Come for me!” he grunted in between powerful thrusts.

His command did the trick, sending your body forward as you exploded, your walls tighten around him with each snap of his hips against your pelvis. Soon enough, he jerked off his load inside you with a growl rumbling on his chest.

Grimace creases on your expression as he cautiously pulls his cock out, following his load combined with your juices gushing out of your pussy down to the insides of your thighs.

Barely recovered from the earth shattering orgasm you had for the first time in three months, you heard a series of banging coming from the other side of the door.

“You done, lovebirds?” Your eyes clenched shut in realization, quietly plotting the assassination of some guy named Jimin.

“Thanks for ruining the moment,” Jungkook retorts back. “Not a problem. You guys seriously need to get the fuck out, I ran out of beans in the jar and try not fuck each other here next time, yeah?”

Amused with the scene unfolding, Jungkook casually pushes your underwear back to its place, smoothening your skirt down as if nothing inappropriate had occurred here. He kisses the tip of your nose, before turning the knob of the door.

Couldn’t this get any more embarrassing?

~~~

Thank you for reading and apologies for any spelling/ grammatical errors. I havent edited this yet.  Part 2 will most likely be posted on Monday or Tuesday :)

[recklessmark]

chapter three: i love him forever, is it better than you yet?

—from DISCRETION series

Summary: you incidentally met a notorious CEO and your gut told you that you must claim this man. and even the fact that he’s engaged to someone else didn’t stop you from achieving what you want.

Pairing: CEO! Mark x Designer! Reader

Words: 1620

Warnings: none

—previous: chapter two-encounter

Ever since the day you met Kim Yeri, you haven’t even contacted Alicia. You’re busy designing the wedding dress for your rival. It sounds hilarious, you know though. You tiredly stretch out your shoulders, finding a contact in your phone.

“Hello?”, a low voice answers.

“Mark, it’s me. The wedding dress is done, do you want to have a look?”

“I’m having a meeting. Alright, you bring the dress to her house, just let her decide.”

You smirk, “You’re bold huh? Let your lovely fiancé meet her rival at her own house. You’re always provoking me!”. Hanging up the phone, you sigh. Your fingertips trace up the white fabric, mumbling something.

Following the address Mark sent, you quickly pull up to Yeri’s house. With your arms crossing on your chest, you walk into the villa, followed by a man who is carrying a suitcase.

“Sorry, who do you want to see?”, a woman politely asks.

“Designer, bringing Ms Kim her wedding dress. Can I come in?”

The woman instantly nods, smiling widely she leads you inside. You smirk, seems like this wedding is really important. What could you expect, that’s Mark Lee. Stopping in front of the door, you asked the man to give you the suitcase and walk inside alone. The first sight that you see is a woman sitting next to the balcony, the wind blowing up her hair slightly.

She’s an artist, you remind yourself.

The specific lavender fragrance of you draws Yeri’s attention, she immediately recognizes it. “How could you come here?”

“I don’t like talking, just try this dress on.” You open the suitcase, revealing the wedding dress.

Noticing the doubt in her eyes, you casually sit on the couch. “Don’t worry, I have my own rules. I won’t kill you while you’re trying the dress on, there’s nothing suspicious inside the dress either. Losing my reputation just because of a girl like you is embarrassing.”

Yeri tightens her fists, she doesn’t move a little.

You raise a brow, “What? You don’t like it huh? Mark took his time begging me to bring it here for you and you don’t want it? Haiz alright, I’ll tell him later.”

Seeing you have the intention to leave, Yeri frantically stands up. “Wait! I didn’t mean it. Please wait a minute.”

You happily sit down again, wondering how naive this girl is, to the point it’s ridiculous to you. Mark Lee, there would be a gun to his head and he still never begs anyone for anything. She thinks she’s all that matter huh?

Trying the dress on inside the bathroom, Yeri has to admit your talent although she doesn’t like you. The gown fluffy with layers of velvet fabric, on top is a layer of lace, the white color vibrant as cloud. Some little diamonds are attached to the top of the dress, sparkles like stars. You even bring her a pair of high heels, a pair of velvet gloves and a crystal necklace that goes with the dress. Yeri can’t help but surprised, you’re truly professional and delicate.

“Miss, did you sleep in there?”, your impatience kicking in you, you hate waiting.

Yeri quickly opens the door and steps outside. You stand up, giving the woman an overall look from top to toes.

“No need to look at me with that cautious eyes.”, you mutter out, your hands touch the waist of the dress. “Hmm, your waist is quite small than I estimated. Take it off, I have to fix it.”

Hearing you, she ironically touching her waist. “Really? I think it fits well...”

“Clothes were born to dignify human, at least to me. Furthermore this is your wedding dress, just take it off.” You turn back to sit on the sofa, waiting for Yeri to change.

When she walks out, carrying the white dress with both arms, she hesitantly asks. “When Mark comes he can’t see me wearing it, can him?”

You smirk mockingly, so she wants to dress up prettily for her lover. You don’t mean to look down on her but she’s way more mediocre than you think. “If you want to wear something that doesn’t fit you for that man to see, just keep the dress yourself.”

Yeri heard that, realizes she’s too shallow. On the other hand, your personality seems to match with Mark’s unironically, both of you always seek for perfection.

“You’re definitely the best designer. Mark did found a lot of designers but none of them works delicately like you.”, Yeri hands you the dress, smiling softly.

You put the dress back inside the suitcase, locking it. “Miss girl, I hope that you don’t think that I’m a nice a person. I don’t like you so don’t act like we’re a friends!”, you give her a cold glance. The smile on Yeri’s face faded away slightly. She flattered herself too much, these small reconciliations are like ridiculous kid games to you.

“You really think that Mark will come?”, you naturally flop yourself on the bed.

“What do you mean?”, the girl frowns.

You chuckle, tracing the rings on your fingers. “A soon-married man, despite how busy he is, he will take time to see his future wife in the wedding dress. People always say a woman is prettiest when she wears a wedding dress. So what do you think? Being an artist still requires a grey matter right?”

Yeri’s body shakes lightly, how could she not know. You mean that she’s nothing matter to Mark!

A memory of three years ago playing in her head. When Mark came to her exhibition, she immediately fell for this man. Then Mark occasionally offered Yeri to do some paintings for him, for unknown reasons. The relationship grew up gradually. She has always being so arrogant about her boyfriend, although many women have a dream to be with him but they all gave up without you interfering. She always thought that Mark told them he already had a girlfriend. And now, with your appearance, she realizes she was flattering herself. If she actually thinks about it, why would Mark choose her, a normal artist. She definitely can not compete with you, both appearance and wealthiness.

You smile, “What did you think for so long Ms Kim, Mark texted me to say you sorry cause he can’t come, he’s too busy.”

Yeri frantically snatches your phone, which was being hold in your hand. You smirk, Mark sent it when Yeri was trying the dress on but you want to make the game better. Certainly the woman can see it herself, ‘delivered 30 minutes ago’. She tries to ease her anger, squeezing your phone in her fist. “Why would you do this?”

“Why? Because I like Mark!”

Your words make her mad even more, “Like? You don’t even have the right to say it! I love him, 3 years! Who the hell you think you are? To steal Mark from me?”

Her reaction makes you satisfied. All that naivety, tenderness is a cover for her true being. She’s tearing off her mask now, by herself, in front of you.

“Oh really? So I also love Mark! I love him forever! Is it better than you yet?”

Yeri throws your phone on the floor, “Y/N L/N!”, she screams.

You pick up your shattered phone, shoving it inside your jacket. “Only by saying, ten mouths of yours still can not compete with mine. Look at yourself, I’m cruel, how about you?”

—

You’ve been working your ass off since that day at Yeri’s house, you don’t even have time to see Mark. The dress is done, stored in a suitcase that is probably somewhere in your office, you don’t remember. Your desk is full of white fabric, you tiredly lay your back against the chair, closing your eyes.

Knock! Knock!

“Come in!”, your voice sounds raspy.

You aren’t even bothered to open your eyes but you know for sure who that is by breathing the air. “I don’t want to eat.”

“You wanna die huh?”

“Go out!”

“No!”

You grit your teeth, open your eyes which is displaying some red blood veins due to overworking. “Alicia! What do you want?!”

Alicia almost dropped the tray of sandwich and a glass of milk on her hands. Staring at your eye bags, with the vein showing in your eye balls clearly, she knows that you didn’t sleep for days. “You only drink milk to keep yourself alive, didn’t have a good sleep huh?”

“Yeah the exact moment I’m taking a nap, you come in and disturb me!”

She furiously looks at you, putting the tray of food on your table. “You should eat first. The tickets are booked, the flight is on this Sunday.”

“What’s the day of today?”, you ask, take a bite on the sandwich.

“Miss Y/N, today is Saturday, we’re flying tomorrow!”

You instantly put the halfway-eaten sandwich back on the plate, “Go out, I have a lot of work to do!”, you take a sip of milk.

“Hey but why I can’t call you?”. You glare at the phone on the floor, “Dead”, you sigh.

Alicia picks your phone up and then brings the tray out. You’re having a fashion show in France, but you totally forgot about it, because you were playing too much. Alicia is your manager, she organizes all your works, however she doesn’t know much about the “wedding dress” thing. But you said it’s really important, this “Flechazo” collection of you can not have a single mistake.

Alicia sighs, glancing at the closed door of your office. All of a sudden, the front door is opened.

“I come to see Y/N.”, it’s a familiar voice.

—next: chapter four-you’re my first kiss

©️  DREAMYKRAM. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

taglist: @nuoyii @jjikyuu @generantionct @keemburley @skrtbeepbeep @sunshinedhyuck

[the-melting-world]

Strength | Side B: "The Lily"

Art by @ ligiawrites

~ In which a secretive barhand sacrifices a dream...

The Trio Appearances: Kipling | Khleo | Ozy

Arcana LI appearances: Asra | Nadia | Lucio | Valdemar

Track Origins: “The Lily” by Blanco White

Not sure if this is the right track? The full album can be found here: Strength

Khleo is Non-binary and uses she/they pronouns interchangeably

cw: language, alcohol, mild violence, blood, hostile work environment, pregnancy (*For clarification, themes of pregnancy are not connected to themes of blood or violence*)

~ 5k words

While Lucio waits outside the basement of the Chandrian Tavern Hall, he’s approached by Khleo’s familiar, Hefe. The lioness has a few questions for the former Count…

Lucio was well aware that there were certain familiars that could communicate with people aside from the humans to which they were bonded. Still, he never thought that he would be holding a conversation with a lion in the back alleys of Center City.

Hefe, as she introduced herself, had joined Lucio on top of the pile of crates, which whined considerably as she settled on her haunches.

< You smell like Death. >

Hefe spoke the last word as if she knew the Arcana personally. Lucio took one glance at the lioness’ great paws and chose not to deny it.

“You’re right,” he said thickly. He struggled to maintain eye contact with her steady, amber gaze.

< If you mean to bring my cub any harm, you can take it elsewhere. >

Lucio’s naturally blond eyebrows lifted an inch. “Do you mean Khlee?”

She nodded slowly.

He shook his head and huffed, “Death’s ties are to me and me alone. Trust me, I’m not trying to drag anyone else into it. What I have to go back to…” he thought about the dank cellar of the Lazaret and its shelves full of outdated medical instruments. He thought of pale green skin and carefully mummified horns. Lucio turned his head and shuddered. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

Hefe was silent for a moment before a purr trilled low in her throat.

< Good. >

When Lucio looked back up, the familiar was gone.

Commotion trickled in from the other side of the door. Lucio could hear members filling up what sounded like a spacious area. Greetings rang out. Equipment was dragged off of shelves and out of boxes. Whatever this club meeting was about, it sounded like there was something physical going on.

The former count waited a few more minutes before taking a deep breath, standing up, and letting himself inside.

About two dozen people were crowded around some kind of pit. The pair locked in were definitely fighting. Lucio could see over most of the heads taking up the space. He picked up on the challengers’ bare feet and how they sparred bare-knuckled. Except, they weren’t sparring. The blows were connecting. Solidly. Intentionally.

Lucio’s game was swordplay, but he had some training in hand to hand combat. He used what he could remember to try to pinpoint the style. The closest he could figure was kick-boxing, but that didn’t seem quite right. The punches looked too strange for that — too curvy. And the blocks were absorbed more by the elbows. When the opponents were locked, grasping for the back of each other’s head, no one broke it up. The lively spectators only watched while the challengers tried to climb up each other, knees first like excited apes.

“Monty. You came.”

The new presence at his elbow startled Lucio. Just like their cat, Khlee had managed to easily sneak up on him. Lucio noticed that her suspenders swung below her waist and her shirt was unbuttoned a lot lower than would be appropriate for serving customers. They didn’t seem to care.

Khlee gestured to the energetic knot of people.

“What do you think?”

Lucio glanced back at the fight and grimaced. “Is no one going to break them up?”

Khlee smiled. “Doesn’t work like that. They’re looking for the clinch. Makes it easier to lay in some knees to the more vulnerable part of the body.”

Lucio grunted like he knew what the hell they were talking about.

“And they’re okay with getting so… bloody?”

The barhand nodded. “They look forward to that too.” They looked up at Lucio and hooked their thumb over their shoulder. “Come over here and I’ll show you the basics.”

The fights went on in the background while Khlee led Lucio to a quieter spot closer to the minibar. Finally working up the courage to comment about them, Lucio waved at Khleo’s arms.

“I bet fights are over for you pretty quickly.”

Her eyes widened a bit before she realized his meaning. “I mean, sure, I throw punches, but there’s more to it than that. Speaking of arms.” She explained that he would only be allowed to block with his gauntleted arm in order to minimize injury. After that was established, she started to show him how to properly stand and defend himself.

Lucio never even agreed to fighting in the first place, but this barhand seemed to know what she was doing when it came to instruction. Sport and the physical challenge that came with it was always something that resonated with Lucio no matter the playing field. And it had been ages since he learned something new. So he swallowed his doubt for the time being and absorbed Khlee’s crash course in this unorthodox style of combat.

The way of eight limbs, she called it.

Lucio learned that the “clinch” Khlee spoke of earlier referred to the series of standing grappling techniques that he witnessed when he first walked in. Despite how important this was to combat, Lucio made it very clear that he did not want to get caught in one of those. Especially not against someone smaller and scrappier than him like Khleo, whose shorter limbs and concentrated muscle gave her all the advantage in this sport.

“What? Afraid your skin will bruise too easy?” Khlee teased right after she was done showing Lucio all the ways he could disengage himself from a sudden grapple.

Lucio, who had discarded his top layers a while ago, gently caged his alchemical arm over his abdomen and said, “Uh duh. Besides, I just ate. Forgive me if I’m not looking forward to losing my dinner all over my opponent.” Then he blushed and added sheepishly. “Thank you, by the way. For dinner.”

“Focus,” Khlee reminded him as they squared his hips and elevated his arms. They spent the next few minutes guiding him in strikes, many of which were concentrated not so much in the fists or feet, but in the elbows, knees, and shins.

“Can I be honest?” Lucio spoke up after forgetting to engage his hips on the last kick.

“Go ahead,” Khlee huffed right before punishing Lucio for his mistake with the proper form. Her shin met his ribs in a clean, controlled strike. Lucio knew that she was holding back, but he grunted all the same.

“I don’t like having to adjust to this style at all,” he whined. “Can’t I just fight the way I know how? Because really, this,” he exaggerated his hip movement and popped up his knees like he was bouncing a ball on them, “is all really stupid if you think about –”

Lucio felt his mouth pool with something gooey and hot before he tasted the iron. He doubled over shortly after his ribs started screaming at him.

“Oh. Look at that,” Khlee noted, “you just took a stupid elbow to the face and a stupid knee to the gut.”

Lucio waited before turning his head and spitting a wad of blood off to the side. “You almost made me lose a fucking tooth.”

Khlee came over and clapped him on the back. “If I wanted to do that, I would have. Now, Monty. Are you done insulting my way of fighting or is there something else you want to add?” They smirked at him in a way that appeared good natured and unoffended despite their sudden outburst of violence.

Before Lucio could answer, a handful of voices called both of their attentions towards the ring in the middle of the room.

“Khleo! Bring his green ass over here!”

“Yeah. You’ve had him long enough. We’re itching to break him in!”

The very last thing Lucio wanted was to get broken in by the scrappy-looking bunch that beckoned him over. But he also didn’t want to appear spineless in front of all of these people, so he didn’t protest as Khlee guided him to the center of the ring.

Lucio found comfort in her heavy hand resting on his shoulder as she looked out at her club members and recited a few rules. The first two were the same. Don’t talk about the damn club. A few members chuckled at that. Khlee reminded them that if someone tried to tap out, said “stop” or went limp, that meant that the fight was over. Lucio was relieved to see the members take this one more seriously. They all nodded in grave understanding.

To Lucio’s disgust, one of the rules was no shirt, no shoes. Biting back his groan, he removed his boots and handed them off to one of the members on the sidelines.

“And finally, rule number eight.” Khlee gave Lucio’s shoulder a squeeze. “My friend Monty here, it’s his first night, which means,” she dropped her hand and backed up into the throng, smiling broadly, “he has to fight.”

Many were eager to take Lucio on, but since it was his first time, he got to decide which of the volunteers he would go against. In the end, he went with someone of his similar height and build. He didn’t want the smaller fighters using their advantage against him. He only hoped that his challenger lacked about as much flexibility as he did.

After they assumed their stances and touched knuckles, the challenger said something Lucio didn’t expect.

“I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

Lucio hesitated, but only for a moment. Then he swung quietly, but with all his might.

The rest of the fight was a bit of a blur.

Lucio forgot everything that he learned. One minute he was blocking with his elbows and keeping his opponent at a distance with well timed foot jabs and the next, his arms were flailing and he was losing all balance.

The bystanders acted as the ropes to a real boxing ring. Whenever he staggered, they pushed him back into the fight. He ate a lot of blows. Some hands. A few elbows. His head was spinning and his blood was on fire.

Sound warbled in and out of his ears like he was underwater. His eyesight was lost to the sweat. His blood ran down his neck, his chest, and made the floor slippery. Both he and his opponent lost their footing and came down hard. Then they laughed together.

Lucio knew he couldn’t fight blind on unsteady legs, so he asked them to stop. They did and many hands came to help Lucio onto his feet. He was given towels, water, and a kiss on the forehead, no doubt by his challenger.

Since Lucio’s was the last fight of the night, the crowd retired around the broken picnic table by the wall. Khleo served them up a round of bread and ale so flat and diluted, it was practically water. But no one complained.

Lucio didn’t have much to say amidst the group of companions, but they made him feel at home. A few of them asked about his arm and showed off their own prosthetics to compare.

Later, after everyone had gone, Lucio left the table covered in empty beer glasses and joined Khlee at the minibar.

“You in the mood for a real drink?” She asked, already pouring something amber and smoky into a crystal tumbler.

Lucio sighed. “Usually, I would, but I think my blood has had enough excitement for one evening.”

Khlee added a couple of ice cubes and chuckled, “No such thing.”

While she took her first sips, Lucio tested his swollen cheek with the blunted fingers of his alchemical hand.

“At first I couldn’t really understand why you all would fight hard enough to draw blood. If it was for some money or a prize, it would have made more sense to me, but…”

“But you realized that we’re all just perverted little piggies looking for punishment.” Khlee rested her empty glass on the wood.

Lucio laughed. “Yeah. That.” He shook his head. “But then I got in there and I get it now.” Listening to the patrons talk, he caught on to what they did for a living. They were the chamberlains, the couriers, the nurses, the gondoliers, the construction and sewer workers. Khlee’s club was full of the people who pulled the most weight to keep this city afloat. They were the ones who needed to let off the most steam from what Lucio could tell.

“So, Montag…” Khlee said, breaking Lucio from his line of thoughts, “Did your mother give you that name?”

Lucio raised an eyebrow.

Khlee added, “I was just thinking, why Montag? Wouldn’t it make more sense to name you Donnerstag – Thursday, after the god of thunder?”

Lucio scoffed, “Why would that make more sense?”

She started buttoning up her shirt. “Well because, you know. No offense, but everybody hates mondays.”

“Is this your strategy to keep your patrons coming back?” Lucio snapped. “By hacking their birth names to pieces?”

The barhand didn’t appear ruffled by the other’s outburst. “Just trying to make a little conversation.”

Lucio leaned back some. “Alright, then. What about your name? Von Heine. I know that village. The Heine.” It was a little hamlet nestled on the edges of the Scourgelands. Lucio’s people and Khlee’s shared the same language, but different histories. “It’s where you all dress like snaggle-tooth toddlers and spend every waking hour grinding wheat and growing yeast for your bread or your booze.”

The barhand rested her forearms on the bar, leaned on them and smiled. “Based on the stories Papa told me, that sounds about right.”

The distant look in her expression made Lucio soften his voice. “You don’t remember?”

She waved at nothing. “I’ve never been to the Heine. Only heard stories growing up. My folks found me in the coliseum when I was just a kid. They raised me.” There was some silence.

Khleo cleared her throat and straightened up a little. “As for the tracht,” She looped her suspenders back on and gave them a light snap. “You can blame the owner. He wanted the tavern to appeal to tourists. So while I might look like a toddler, remember that I can still kick your ass, Monty.”

Lucio snickered. “Noted.”

Still grinning, Khleo asked, “You got yourself a place to sleep tonight?”

Lucio looked elsewhere. “Uh. Not this time.”

Khleo pointed at the fireplace. “I know it doesn’t look like much from here, but it’s pretty cozy in the hearth. And Hefe can keep you warm.”

Lucio briefly considered the idea of sleeping in an empty fireplace with someone else’s lion for a blanket. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing that had happened to him in one evening. Once upon a time, the thought of going to sleep somewhere like that would make his skin crawl. But like many things that had seen that day, he experienced it through a new lens. He trusted Khleo.

Besides, he really, really didn’t want to sleep out in the cold street.

“Thank you.”

Before Khleo could respond, their privacy was broken by the sound of a door opening.

“Shit.”

Quick and without making any noise, Khleo hoisted herself over the minibar and dragged Lucio off of the stool. She pressed a finger to his lips when he tried to protest. One look at her dark expression told him now was not the time to argue. Lucio tried to keep his steps soft as Khleo guided him to the hearth. She gently bent him over and pushed him inside, tugging the curtains closed behind him.

Hefe growled dimly as Lucio tumbled over her. There was some awkward movement as the lioness made room for him. By the time Lucio was semi-comfortable, he tuned in to the heated conversation that already started in the basement.

“Overheard one of your idiot friends on their way out. You don’t charge admission?” The mature voice must have belonged to the person descending the stairs.

There was no answer from Khleo at first. Then she murmured almost too low for Lucio to hear, “No, but they’re welcome to leave donations.”

Lucio listened to heavy footfalls making their way to the broken picnic table.

“And you’re giving away our food?”

In a voice that suggested this wasn’t the first time they had this argument, Khleo finally spoke up.

“You never said I had to charge for entry into the club. You only said I had to pay rent, which I do. I’m never late. And that’s just bread left over from today. We can’t sell it tomorrow. I don’t see the problem if we have to throw it out anyway.”

Something pounded once on the wood, rattling the glass mugs.

“This is a place of business, Khlee. Not a gods-fucking food bank!”

“Are you done?”

“Am I…” The wood creaked. “Am I what now?”

Khleo sighed. “Nothing, Otto. We’re good. I’ll start charging for the damn bread.”

The silence that followed was tense, uncertain. Lucio longed to see what kind of looks were being exchanged between them, but he wouldn’t dare move aside the curtain. Hefe seemed to sense it too because she kept her head leveled a few inches off the ground and her ears at alert angles.

“Oh no, I think you forgot something. You definitely forgot who the fuck you’re talking to.”

Crash.

“Didn’t you?”

Crash.

It took a moment for Lucio to register the sound of glasses being flung and breaking against the minibar as well as the wall behind it.

The barhand’s voice had lost its cool indifference.

“Otto, come on. Don’t. I’ll pay for it, okay? Just put it on with the rent. You don’t have to–”

CRASH.

“Wait!”

CRASH.

Hefe lowered her ears, but she didn’t move. Lucio pressed his back against the brick in an effort to steady himself and quiet his breaths.

“Stop! Stop! Why are you doing this? I’m sorry, okay? Uncle – hold on!”

CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

Lucio leaned forward, but Hefe used her shoulder to shove him back.

< No. >

“Onkel, bitte.” Khleo’s voice came from somewhere low. Like she was squatting on the floor. “Tut mir Leid… . Es tut mir Leid. It won’t happen again. I promise....” She inhaled a ragged breath and whimpered as if in pain.

The man’s breath came out a little labored from all the effort. “You said you take donations?”

“… Ja.”

“Where?”

Khleo sniffled. “Unter da.”

Glass crunched and broke underfoot as the man went about his search. Eventually, he gave a contented sigh. “That should cover all this mess and the bread. Now... clean this shit up.”

More glass popped under his weight as he headed towards the stairs. The sniffles died down a few minutes after he left. Lucio sat frozen, unsure how he should proceed.

Finally, there was movement and Khleo’s voice came out dark and choked.

“Hefe… just do it.”

Khleo’s voice and the sound of Hefe’s hypnotic purr was the last thing Lucio remembered before losing himself to total darkness.

*

*

*

Basil seethed in silence while he listened to his boss get on Samira’s case yet again. This time it was about her uniform.

“Mr. Otto, I told you, the ones you gave me when I started working don’t fit me anymore.”

Otto snorted. “I missed the part where that’s my problem. Those uniforms don’t grow on trees, girl.”

The afternoon shift had just ended, so they were all tired, but still had their stations to clean. Khleo was taking her break from deliveries under a quilt in one of the empty booths. Gabe had started his delivery shift a few minutes ago. The bar was empty except for Samira, Basil and of course, their boss. Currently, he was enjoying his afternoon snack in front of his employees.

Samira shook her head and surrendered her hands. “I didn’t even know the uniforms were mandatory. Basil and Gabe never wear theirs.”

Otto swallowed a spoonful of oatmeal. “Last time I checked, you weren’t Basil or Gabe.”

Samira’s glasses started to get misty the longer she looked at her employer. She waved at Basil without looking away from Otto. “But if the uniforms are mandatory, why don’t you ever say anything to them?”

Without missing a beat, Otto punctated the air with his spoon as he explained. “They’ve put in their time here, while you… Lass, you haven’t been here but a minute.”

“Mr. Otto, I’m sorry, but this is not fair.”

It’s more than unfair, Basil wanted to add, but he bit back his tongue. He shot a glance over at Khleo’s sleeping lump, wondering if they could hear this right now.

“Fair.” Otto dragged out the word. “What about if I cut my losses with you and hire a new barmaid?” He studied his bowl as he scraped the oats off the edges in a way that set Basil’s teeth on edge. “All you do is look pretty at the front of the house. Anyone can do that, Miss Kaba.”

Samira’s garnet eyes went wide and then narrowed suddenly. Her lip trembled. “That is not all that I do.”

Finally, Otto looked up and sighed. “I don’t have time for the tears today, Samira. Here’s the key for the costumes in storage. You and Khlee are dancing tonight. Now, the waistlines on those dresses are all adjustable, so I don’t want to hear anymore excuses about your fitting issue. Understand?”

Samira looked like she had something else she wanted to say. Instead, she blinked rapidly as she took the keys from Otto and practically broke out into a run.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Basil let Otto have it. “Did you really have to give her the whole ‘you’re replaceable’ speech?”

Otto narrowed his eyes at the barhand. “I pay you to make drinks, Jebeles. Know your place.”

Basil replied, “You’re always going on about how the barmaids bring in the most customers, yet none of ours stay for more than a few months. Think you should lighten up some? Just maybe?”

Otto rolled his eyes. “If the lass doesn’t have the backbone to work here, then she should find herself another bar.” Then he grunted as he stood up and wandered over to the booth where Khleo was resting.

Otto used his foot to jostle Khleo awake. She poked her curly head out from under the quilt and scowled in her usual way.

“You’re dancing tonight,” He said without a hello. “Go get dressed.”

Basil expected Khleo to give at least a little pushback. She wasn’t a fan of wearing the dirndl unless it was for the annual beer festivals. Otherwise, she chose to perform without it. But to Basil’s surprise, Khleo set her jaw and didn’t meet Otto’s eyes as she climbed out of the booth. She rolled up her quilt, tucked it under her arm, and wordlessly headed towards the basement. After she left, Otto floated back to the bar, smiling smugly to no one in particular.

Basil wasn’t sure what he just saw, but he didn’t like it.

***

The costume chest was already opened by the time Khleo got there. She changed mostly in the dark until it was time to lace up the bodice of the dress.

Figuring Samira couldn’t be far off, she left the costumes and wandered further through the storage space.

“Mir,” Khleo called out, her voice still raspy from sleep. “Can you help me with this? You know I always forget how to…”

Khleo found her coworker off in some corner, sitting on a prop used for talent shows. She was hunched over a bit, her arms resting palms up against her thighs, almost as if she was waiting for something to fall into them.

Samira looked like she had gotten halfway with putting on her dirndl when she had given up. Even in the low light, Khleo could detect the wet shine clinging to her cheeks.

“Sorry, Khleo. I was on my way to help you, but I... kind of lost track of time.”

The sound of water rising up her throat drew Khleo closer. It wasn’t the first time they had shared a room during costume changes, so neither had much of a reaction to Samira’s state of undress. As Khleo came closer, her eyes wandered past the barhand’s bra and down to where her stomach interrupted the costume.

“Don’t laugh, but I can’t get it over my tummy.” Samira snorted, almost like it was a joke.

Khleo reached out her hand and arched a curious brow.

Samira sniffed. “It’s okay.”

The barhand took a deep breath before grazing the skin over Samira’s navel with her fingertips. She felt a flicker at first. When she pressed her entire palm against the warm bump, she felt something more.

< Ask her how long it’s been. >

“Six and half months, I think.” Samira answered when Khleo voiced Hefe’s question aloud.

Khleo withdrew her hand. “You think? You haven’t seen a doctor yet?”

Samira closed her eyes and sighed. “No, but… I haven’t had the money or the time. Have you seen where I work?” Then she opened them and glared a little at Khleo. “Plus, I’m not an idiot. I haven’t had a drink or a cigarette since I first suspected. I can take care of myself.”

“You need to see a doctor, Mir.” Khleo was pacing now. “The father?”

Samira’s face twisted as she mumbled something dark and negating.

Khleo stopped. “Right,” she sighed. There were so many other questions she wanted to ask. But when she looked at Samira, who seemed like she was already regretting trusting someone else with this information, Khleo inhaled again and approached her friend.

“What do you want to do next? If you could?”

Samira blinked, gratitude and relief filling her eyes at the question Khleo had settled on.

“I have a half sister in Nevivon. She would take me in, but she’s got kids too and she works. If I could just get to her.”

Khleo grunted in understanding. Trips across the sea were not cheap. And Samira couldn’t just stop paying rent.

While Khleo was still thinking, Samira curled on herself and whispered, “I was trying to take more shifts so I could get out of here as fast as I could, but Otto… he’s going to find out, Khlee. He’s going to figure this out and then he’s going to fire me. I know he is.”

“No he’s not,” Khleo replied calmly as she unhooked her keys from one of her inner pockets. She held out the one to her apartment. “Here. My place is in the Flooded District. Hefe will help you. Go there and wait for me.”

Samira sat up a little straighter. “What? I can’t just leave. My shift is nowhere near over.”

Khleo took Samira’s hand and pressed the key in her palm. “Don’t worry about that. Just trust me. I can explain everything tonight.”

To Khleo’s relief, Samira relaxed her hand around the key. She hesitated once more before sighing and nodding. “Okay. Let me help you tie up your dress and then I’ll go.”

As soon as Samira and Hefe were out the back door, Khleo put the next few hours out of her mind. She entered a sort of trance as she walked up the stairs and made up an excuse for Samira’s absence. Otto wasn’t happy about it, but that wouldn’t even matter after tonight.

Khleo put on a smile, danced, served, and entertained the patrons. Whenever Basil tried to get her alone and ask his questions, she dodged him with the grace of a feyling determined to remain elusive.

Otto, thankfully, went home early and left his barhands with the responsibility of closing up. Khleo pulled some favors and managed to free herself soon after her boss left. She skipped changing out of her dress and just jogged briskly through the lanterned avenues until she made it to her apartment.

When she came inside, she found Samira asleep on the couch. Hefe lay on the floor, guarding the space. Khleo avoided her familiar’s gaze as she quietly walked past the couch and down the hall. When she entered her room, she closed the door behind her and shut her eyes.

There wasn’t time to think about what she was going to do. If she gave herself even a moment, she feared she would lose her nerve.

Moments later, Khleo was back in the common room, gently helping Samira onto her feet.

“Khleo?”

Khleo hugged her. “I’m sorry it took me so long. Here.”

Samira blinked a few times and put on her glasses before accepting the glass jar that Khleo offered her. She briefly took note of the contents before asking, “What’s this?”

Khleo cleared her throat. “It’s enough to get you to Nevivon and set up with a doctor until you have the baby.”

Samira turned the jar over in her hands. “What, you just had this lying around? What was it for?”

“Please.” Khleo couldn’t look at the jar, so she locked eyes with Samira instead. “Please, Mir, just take it. Take it and go.”

Whatever Samira wanted to say, she held onto it. Then she opened her arms and held onto Khleo.

“Thank you, Khlee. I was so afraid that… just. Thank you.”

Khleo was out of words. She hugged Samira back, staring wide-eyed at the walls of peeling paint in her apartment as she nodded in understanding.

After Samira had left, Khleo noticed that Hefe had disappeared too. She had no desire to look for her. Instead, Khleo drifted back into her bedroom and came before her antique dresser like it was some kind of altar.

Soon she was on her knees, bowed before the very last drawer, where she kept the dreams of her father, her mother, and her own.

Khleo seldom opened the drawer. She knew that if she wanted to take out and admire her dreams, she would have put them back and close them inside the wood. Tonight she looked down at her dreams and they looked back at her.

A tight moan escaped the barhand as she dragged her palm up her face and dug her nails into her hairline. With her other hand, she tried to close the drawer. Like always, it was stubborn and would not bend to her.

And so Khleo fought with the drawer until it gave in. She shut up her dreams so she wouldn’t have to look at them anymore. Tears and sobs consumed her until there was nothing left but thoughts. The low and bitter kind.

[badbookopinions]

A Deadly Education - The  Scholomance #1, Naomi Novik

A+: this was a delight. Fun, a little horrifying, and great dynamics between characters. 

In the Scholomance, there are no teachers, no holidays, and no friendships, save strategic ones. Survival is more important than any letter grade, for the school won’t allow its students to leave until they graduate… or die! The rules are deceptively simple: Don’t walk the halls alone. And beware of the monsters who lurk everywhere. El has astonishing destructive powers but no allies - until she forms an unlikely friendship with God’s gift to humanity, Orion Lake. (adapted from the Goodreads page)

This book has been called racist. I personally don’t think it deserves all the flak it’s getting - I explain my feelings on the matter below the cut. The mistakes Novik made were few (throwaway sentences, not plot points) and they were due to being misguided rather than being malicious.

I had such a good time with this, and can’t wait to see where the series goes next. It’s the sort of story where things get better as they go on, I think, which is one of my favourite types. Grumpy, antisocial El collects friends against her will in this book, and I can’t wait to see what those friends do in the next.

This is the one school story I’ve read that feels like how high school feels for me - which sounds like an exaggeration, with the amount of death going on here. But the constant stress, working at every second, exclusively talking to your friends about schoolwork, and worrying at every second about final exams or what you’re going to do once you get out there into the world and have to deal with real-world problems, which are somehow worse? That’s what high school is like, and I did not anticipate the story to get it right would be one in which characters are routinely killed by monsters.

While El spends a little too much time narrating the way the school and the world works and a little too little time on action, she’s such a charismatic protagonist and Novik has made such an enjoyable world that I almost didn’t mind.

Also, Orion and El’s relationship? A joy to read. It was definitely a departure from the mature, balancing-of-power-dynamics of Uprooted and Spinning Silver. It’s the perfect hero and a loser who really enjoys being mean to him, and it’s entertaining and teenage and a little bit adorable.

Plot: surprisingly little of it, but it worked well. It isn’t exaggerating to say El spends more than half of the book just explaining the world to the audience. Since the whole plot takes place in just a couple weeks, though, it works better than I was expecting it to. 

Characters: excellent. El - Galadriel Higgins, a half-Indian girl raised by her hippie white mother in a peace-and-love commune, foretold as someone who will destroy worlds. I adore her. And while Orion, God’s perfect moster-killing himbo, and their relationship is pretty great, what I really loved was El making friends with two other girls. Aadhaya and Liu, who I’d love to see more of in later books because they were charming and intriguing. 

Setting: this was great. And I’m not just saying that because Novik specifically mentions Toronto as home to an excellent enclave (aka small community of wizards) and I’m biased to anyone who’s kind to my home city. You can tell that Novik took inspiration from Harry Potter, but she’s made something entirely new out of it. A fully realized and slightly horrifying school, plus thinking about how the magical world works outside the school. 

Prose: El talks SO MUCH. Seriously, my one problem with this book was that there’s SO much introspection. Since I liked El, I had no issues with it. Also, props for this banger of a first sentence: “I decided that Orion needed to die after the second time he saved my life.”

Diversity report: so there are two main concerns against this book - an Indian protagonist who’s divorced from her heritage, and a paragraph about dreadlocks in which El was talking about the danger of monsters nesting in long hair and called out dreadlocks specifically. The paragraph about dreadlocks was actually removed from the version I read, so I found out about it later - it’s not my place to talk about whether this was inexcusable or not, though Novik has apologized. However, I am Indian, and I don’t think that El was bad South Asian representation. First, her father’s Marathi family was described respectfully and kindly. Secondly, Aadhaya is South Asian and is connected to her culture, and El is making attempts to connect to her culture through studying languages and history. Thirdly, Novik got the microaggressions that come with being brown right - every time El mentions some white person discussing yoga with her it was very familiar. I think that Novik could very easily have made an all-white story and wouldn’t have been cancelled, but that she chose to strive for representation in her works, and was held to a ridiculously high standard because of that. She would have benefitted from her sensitivity reader giving it another once-over, but that doesn’t mean this book isn’t still a great read. And this is a fantasy series with a South Asian main character - this is still incredibly rare, and I was delighted when I found out.

[everything-laito]

damn the brain be out here going BRRRRRR here’s the Laito and Cordelia Analysis (with a little bit of Karl sprinkled in) Part III

wow my fingers are freezing but my brain sure isn't! 

aaaanyways, iiiiiit’s trauma time!!! Am I a productive member of society by writing these analyses? No. Do I gain anything by writing them? Kinda, my brain gets exercised and they’re fun to research for. But if you haven’t read the first part or the second part for some reason (I recommend reading them in order), there they are. 

Once again, trigger warnings still apply; mainly about trauma, isolation, etc 

I’m gonna talk about the trauma and effects it had on Laito and to attempt to extrapolate why he is the way he is. I have a lot of examples I want to go over and stuff to talk about, so I think the trauma part is going to be split between two (or maybe three) parts. I also have a little bit to say about Karlheinz.

As always, big ass rant under the cut! 

Section 6: Neuroplasticity and Trauma

Oh???? More science vernacular??? You BET! Ok, neuroplasticity. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog. But, I seriously doubt that there is a madlad who has read all of my analyses (speaking of which, I should update the master list lmao) and I don’t expect anyone to do that LOL! Anyways, this neurological concept is the ability of neurons to adapt to certain circumstances or stimuli by creating new neurological pathways (through synapses). This basically relates to memory and learning. It’s why we don’t stay the same person as we grow and develop. It’s responsible from mindset changes to response to traumatic events. It plays a huge part in trauma, which is why “repressed memories” occur as well. 

Trauma, taken from Psychology Today, is defined as: 

...the experience of severe psychological distress following any terrible or life-threatening event. Sufferers may develop emotional disturbances such as extreme anxiety, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD.

It’s a basic definition. And although I’d assume people would know what trauma is already, but knowing the lexical definition of something can be good to know before going into it. 

Obviously, Laito has trauma, there’s literally no refuting that. But, the point I’m getting at, is the reason why he is the way he is today is because of neuroplasticity. As previously stated, we are going to assume the DL vampire brain works similarly or the same as a human brain. So, because of the stress put upon the brain (Cordelia’s actions and Laito’s general upbringing in a stress filled household), Laito’s brain was rewired (neuroplasticity). This section doesn’t really have much new information, but I wanted to give a baseline since there’s many people who don’t know what neuroplasticity is.

Laito’s definitely different than what he was as a kid. He still kind of had his smarts, and might have been  but as we’ve deducted from the first part of this series, he might have been groomed. On top of that, the brain is easily moldable when you’re a child (which is why grooming makes sense for Laito’s case), and continues to snip brain cells off and form new connections. 

Section 7: Little intermission about Karlheinz 

I know I haven’t really talked about Karlheinz yet. So this will be the section that I do it in. I know this part is about Laito’s trauma, but it’s so hard to not just weave other characters into it. Nothing is stand-alone, which is why it was so hard for me to plan this out. I was debating about saving this for another analysis, but I feel like it fits. 

I referenced this in Part II, Section 5 of this analysis series. Basically, Karlheinz throws Laito into the dungeon and locks him up. Not Karlheinz personally, but he ordered someone to do it. We don’t explicitly know why, but there’s several implications. A huge one is that it was part of Karlheinz’ experiment. Before Dark Fate, I was like “wait, so did Karl find out about Laito/Cordelia? And got like jealous or was like ‘nah this shit fucked up no thanks’?” I was really scratching my head on that. But in Dark Fate, you find that Karlheinz knew about Cordelia and Laito, and even really wanted it to happen. Which is all sorts of fucked up. This really put Laito in for a loop. Here’s a scene from Dark Fate: 

Laito: That woman always, always believed in Karlheinz. Laito: She believed he married her because he loved her, wanted her. That’s why she was sure that one day... he will give his love only to her.  Laito: But she was tricked. She wasn’t loved from the start... Laito: -And I’m a victim of this unbelievable mistake... That’s how it is. Laito: I was treated as a vent for her feelings. Yui: ...Laito-kun... Laito: I’m sure he knew that something like this will happen... He is a god after all... Laito: I was hoping that... He just overlooked it up until now... Laito: But... I was naive.  Laito: I was only planned a scapegoat. 

God, when I played this, that just freaking struck me to my core. That’s so awful. Ironically... Karlheinz probably has some high level of emotional intelligence. I don’t believe he could be labeled as a sociopath, considering he has this high level understanding of pathos. He’s not god in a sense that he controls everyone individually himself. He’s so good at manipulation that he basically creates fate itself (whether you believe in it or not). He’s generally intelligent and cunning, and it also just helps with the fact that he’s immortal and can time travel. He knows cause and effect by now, and I believe Lost Eden said something about how he’s done so many different “timelines.” 

The definition of a god in a philosophical sense can be broken down into three words: omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. More wicked cool jargon! Yay! Here’s what they mean for extra clarification:

Omniscient: All knowing Omnipresent: All seeing Omnipotent: All doing

Sure Karlheinz doesn’t absolutely know everything, nor can see everything, and he definitely has limits to his power, but he has gained knowledge through living for so many years and time traveling; he has familiars which add to the whole “all seeing” part; and he has a lot of power. So basically, in the most semi-”realistic” sense, it would definitely be the closest being to any kind of god.

Karlheinz is probably the reason why Laito himself has such contempt towards religion, and the existence of a god in general. Sure, the boys are like “that shit’s made up by humans” in general, but it would make sense for Laito himself to have that specific hatred. It makes sense that these vampires would be like “oh that’s made up by humans” when they’ve been around forever and have seen multiple religions come and go. (I’m mainly talking about in DL’s lore case, not starting a religious argument; please don’t take it as such––just to clarify)

Section 8: Isolation

Originally, the previous part was going to be about Laito’s isolation being locked up. However, I went off the rails and it turned into that little intermission. This is going to be a shorter section, but I still wanted to talk about, and it will weave into the next section. 

There is no implications about how long Laito was locked up (and tortured) in the dungeon. There’s also no implications about why he was tortured. But torture and isolation puts such stress on the brain that there’s definitely going to be some kind of outcome if persisting for a good period of time. So let’s take a look at what that does to a person. 

Once again, taking this with a grain of salt. I imagine vampires don’t need to rely on social interaction as much as humans do, considering they live forever. But we don’t know. However, throwing Laito into a state of isolation implies that it would be some type of torture or harsh punishment for a vampire, which therefore implies that social interaction is a necessity for emotional function. It’s just sound, inductive logic. 

So now, as for isolation, I’m using this article as reference. It’s a pretty interesting one to read. Here’s another extensive article as well. Basically isolation can cause:

Depression/anxiety

Immune system deficiencies (basically more likely to get physically ill)

Sleep cycle changes (if put underground or with limited natural light)

Hallucinations

Paranoia

Issues with processing information and more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation

We have no clue if Laito’s experience fits all of these. Also, the second one can be crossed out because vampires in DL can’t get physically sick in the way we can. Also, unsure about the sleep cycle stuff considering they are used to being in the dark. Hallucinations and paranoia can’t be crossed off nor proven. 

Being isolated physically and mentally exhausts the mind, which is why it’s also a way of torture. Laito implies that he was tortured with physical devices, but regardless, it’s still stress on the mind. This type of stress definitely goes along with what was mentioned with neuroplasticity and trauma, which also supports the last bullet point: issues processing information and being more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation. Take this flashback from Maniac Prologue in HDB that I used in Part II section 5 (but here’s even more context):

Laito: ーー Let me go!! Let me out of here! Butler: I can’t, young lord. We’ve received strict orders from your father. I am deeply sorry, but please stay put for a while. Laito: What’s the point in having me chained up in here!? Butler: ーーI am very sorry. Laito: Hahahaha…You stupid old man! Do you think that this will make repent!? How foolish! That demon! Has his brain finally rotten from spending too much time with humans!? ー Cordelia appears Cordelia: ー Oh? Laito: …!? Have you come to save me? Cordelia: Oh dear. Ufufu…I’m sorry Laito, that isn’t it. Laito: Eh? Richter: ー Why are you here? Laito: …That’s my line. Cordelia: Okay, okay. No fighting! More importantly, Richter…Come here. Laito: …!? Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all.  ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

Although I also use this to support the whole Stockholm syndrome point, this could also be supported with the trauma isolation also holds. His mind is being re-molded into the facade he holds. Also, note the whole “do you think this will make me repent?!” part. Just a very interesting thing. The word “repent” implies that there’s something to feel guilty about or the person knows that what they’ve done is bad. It just goes to show that Laito has some part of guilt or moral compass still in tact. 

You can also argue that this scene was when Laito just got locked up, or he’s been here for a while. Either way, he could have also been socially isolated before this too, just hanging around Cordelia like it’s implied when he was a child. Remember the whole not being in bed 9/10 times when he was a child? Yeah, controlled social isolation. We also rarely see Laito with other characters in his flashbacks. I don’t believe we see him with his brothers in any of his flashbacks from what I can recall; he’s usually with Cordelia. Just implies (to me) that he’s around her a lot. And being locked up is also a more extreme case of that, which would mold the brain even more. 

I know that was a LOT to process and read. I sure hope this still is cohesive for you all. I’m pretty bad at organizing this kind of stuff; it’s a bit difficult since it all just goes together. Which, kudos on the writers of DL, because that’s just good writing. I was going to put something about gaslighting in this part, but that might be too long, so I’m going to make that a separate part or include it in the next part. 

If you have any questions, feel free to just put it in the inbox. I’m planning on making the last part of this series answering all the Laito/Cordelia questions I’ve received, or just general questions pertaining to this analysis in general, whether it be tangential questions or clarifying questions. 

Hope you all are still enjoying this ride as much as I am!  -Corn

[jawritter]

The Devil And I

Pt. 2

Summary: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? You survived after you thought your mate had died, but how will you survive finding out he's alive, only different.

Warning: ABO dynamics. Heartbreak, mentions of blood, mentions of past Demon!Dean. Abandonment, Abusive relationship I guess? Swearing. I think that’s about it for this chapter. 

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader; Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1681

A/N: This mini series is complete on Patreon. This is completely unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one!

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You weren’t sure for a moment if it was all a dream or not. Nothing that happened seemed real. You could feel a soft bed underneath you, and you were warm; warmer than you had been in a long time.

Even in your own bed since your Alpha had abandoned you, you had felt cold.

You take a deep breath, trying to will yourself to open your eyes, and instantly that familiar scent that was at the bar hit your nose. You whimpered as you rolled yourself around and forced your eyes open, quickly finding out it was no dream.

His scent was everywhere. You were alone in an older styled room that had brick and concrete walls, and furniture that was old and outdated, and there were weapons on the wall. This had to be his room. 

You had become accustomed to waking up in strange places when you were with your Alpha, but this was the first time in months that you had woken up in a place you didn’t recognize at all. It was startling.

You sit up slowly and look around the empty room, trying to remember how you got there, but everything was a blank. The last thing you remember was Dean catching you right before you passed out at the bar.

Pulling the covers back, you throw your feet over the edge of the bed and stand on the cold concrete floor. The clothes you were wearing were not your own. They were a red and black flannel that was way too large for you and a pair of sweats that had been rolled up around your hips in an attempt to keep them from swallowing you whole. They reeked of your Alpha, so you assumed that they belonged to Dean, and he’d put them on you once you brought them here.

You made your way to the door and opened it. Looking down the hallway you see more and more doors. At first, you had no idea where to go, but the longer you stared at the lines of doors you noticed the number descending, and ascending; so you followed the doors as the numbers became smaller.

The further you went down the hall you could hear the voice of your Alpha, as well as Sam, and you stopped just short of the doorway.

“I don’t know Sam!” Dean bellowed. “Hell, I don’t even know the girl's name! I don’t remember her at all!”

You felt your heart stand still for a moment before tears started to prick your vision. You knew there was only one person they could be talking about, and that was you.

“How can you literally claim an Omega and not remember doing it, Dean?” Sam said, and you heard Dean sigh tiredly as if this was an argument they had been having a while before you wondered out of the room Dean had placed you in.

“I didn’t remember claiming the girl until after I touched the mark on her neck. I don’t even know her name. I just remember the act in which she was claimed. Other than that it’s one big blank. You saw what kind of shape she was in Sam, I couldn’t just leave her at the bar to die, and I’m pretty sure If I would have walked away from her it would have killed her,” Dean said, his voice slightly muffled as if he had his head in his hands.

“We’re going to have to make some phone calls, find out what to even do about this. You were not really you when you claimed her. Why was she so blindly focused on you like she was? She followed us out of the damn bar, Dean.”

“Look, Sam, just because I was a Demon doesn’t mean she is, we did all the tests on her, she’s normal as I am right now. She obviously recognized my scent. I can feel the pull… She’s still my Omega.”

The sound of a chair sliding across the floor broke off his sentence, and the sound of pacing filled the room; heavy, dragging footsteps you recognized as Dean’s. 

“Well, if she is your true mate, then you would feel that pull, Dean. I think it will be good for you to have an Omega,” a woman’s voice came from the direction of Dean’s voice. Clearly, it was Sam’s Omega, who was apparently hearing impaired.

“She’s mine, I’m not turning her out, Sam, end of story,” Dean said, and you started to make your way back towards the room that you had just left. You couldn’t listen to this conversation anymore.

The good news is he wasn’t so heartless that he was going to throw you out on your ass, so you did have some hope there, but it stung that he had no memory of you at all.

You remembered everything so clearly. Black eyes till this day still haunted your dreams. You remember the feel of his skin against your own. His teeth scraping possessively over your mark as if to remind you that you belonged to him, and him alone. There were some good things there that kept you from just giving up, and walking away to die when he’d claimed you.

Though you also remember the fear that was there, and you remember evil that seemed to seep sinisterly out of his every poor. A shiver creeped through your body. There was always blood, so much blood. 

Then there were the mind games he’d play with you, those seemed to be never ending. It was as if even though you were bonded, and he’d claimed you, he always carried this fear that you would leave him. In turn, he would do things that kept you weak, confused, always moving you from place to place, always keeping you in the dark until he needed you; until biology became too much.

Thankfully Dean never had a rut while you were together. You weren’t sure what would happen there if he had. Some Alphas become more aggressive during a rut, and you were sure that Dean would have undoubtedly killed you.

The most disturbing thing of all was the lack of heartbeat. When you were allowed to be close to him, and would put your head against his chest, there was never a heartbeat. Just another reminder that what you were dealing with was not human, not even in the slightest.

The sound of the door behind you opening and closing made you nearly jump out of your own skin. You spin around in a hurry in the middle of the bed you were laying, to find the green eyes of your Alpha staring at you from the doorway, a small tray of sandwiches and drinks in hand.

“Hey, you're awake,” he said, stepping inside cautiously, moving diliberly slowly as if he was aware of your fear of him, or at least suspected it. You were afraid, but you were drawn more than you were afraid. That was something you didn’t even understand, but there was no fighting it. 

“I’m sure you’re hungry.”

Slowly he made his way over to the bed, and placed the small try down in front of you before moving to sit down beside you, grabbing a sandwich of his own.

He’d never done anything like this before. Even when you would go into heat you would have to fend for yourself. He didn’t care much for you past your biology. He made that perfectly clear. Now here he was, bringing you food.

“Thanks,” you mumble, grabbing your share of the food, and bringing it slowly to your mouth without looking at him even though you could feel his eyes on you.

“Are you afraid of me Omega?”

The question came slam out of nowhere, and it caught you off guard. His voice was never so soft when he spoke to you before. It was unnerving.  His scent was so strong that it was becoming hard to focus, and there was a comforting wave filling the small room that you were pretty sure that was coming from him.

“I don’t know,” you told him earnestly.

“Well, don’t be, please. I don’t know what I put you through before now, but I’m not going to hurt you.”

You continued to slowly work on your sandwich without a word, keeping your head down submissively as if this was another test, another game, and at any moment the demon would return.

“What’s your name Omega?” Dean asked you, his voice small. It was as if he was ashamed of his own question, and for the first time your eyes drifted up to meet the impossibly green orbs staring back at your. Your heart seized in your chest as you looked into a soul that was never there before, one that was torn and broken, but his own. Not the black nothing that was there before.

Dean was not the same man that had claimed you, not in the least.

“Y/N, my name is Y/N.”

Dean swallowed hard around the hug lump that formed in his throat at the realization that as a demon, he’d probably never even ask you your name before.

His large calloused hand came up slowly and cupped the side of your face, his eyes searching your own as if trying to convey some message that he didn’t know exactly how to say.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I promise this time will be different. I’m not a monster anymore Y/N, and I want you to know that I’m going to do whatever I can to make up for everything I did to you.”

You held your breath and nodded at him before returning to your food he shoved closer to you, an unspoken command to eat your food he’d brought you.

He promised to fix things, to make up for things, but things were always so broken that you didn’t know if they’d ever be able to be fixed. Even though he said he wouldn’t send you away, he still made no move to reclaim you since he’d brought you in here, to reestablish the bond, and that scared you the most.

Forever Tags: 

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Mini Series Tags: 

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[adamarks]

If one more person says simon snow should lose his wings i’m gonna lose my goddamn mind: a meta

Alright you guys, I’ve had ENOUGH. Simon cannot lose his wings unless you want him to break up with Baz, and this is why.

Let’s start with Baz.

This analysis is obviously Simon-based, and yes i’ll get there, but first we need to look at the biggest key we’ve been given to what Simon’s wings could possibly mean subtextually and metaphorically for the story at large. That key is: Baz’s vampirism. 

Baz being a vampire is constantly compared to/mentioned in tandem with his queerness in Carry On. In his first chapters, what are the three most important traits that we learn about him? 

he’s a drama queen

he’s a vampire

he’s hopelessly in love with simon snow

If you boil his character down until he’s basically just a stick figure, that’s what he is: an over dramatic vampire in love with Simon Snow.

We’ve all read the books, we all know this, and we all know he’s much more than that. What of it?

What’s important is that Baz’s vampirism is treated almost the exact same as his homosexuality. 

Hiding it from everyone, being ashamed of it, knowing what you are but being terrified of it. His dad being “definitely more disappointed in my queerness than my undeadness.” 

I mean, holy shit, let’s look at this bit in Carry on from Chapter 51:

“I think if I got married, to a girl from a good family, my father wouldn’t even care that I’m queer. “

This scene really hits, because how many times have you wondered “What if I was straight? Maybe this thing wouldn’t be as bad?” “What if i was just a straight poc?” “What if I was only gay and not trans?” “What if I was only disabled and not gay on top of it?” What if, what if, what if. Would my life be easier? you wonder. Would I get hurt less? Would people treat me better?

If Carry On is about self-realization, then Wayward Son is about the struggle of self-acceptance. 

Baz going to Las Vegas and meeting Lamb probably seemed familiar for some of you people that are LGBT+. It’s how you feel when you’re from a small town and you go to a big city like New York or Orlando or LA for the first time and you see gay people all around you. Flamboyantly gay! Gay people holding hands! Gay people kissing! Trans people that don’t fit the gender norms! Older trans ladies just walking down the street!

It’s exciting, it’s exhilarating. Your baby-gay brain is so confused because no one’s giving them dirty looks. They don’t look nervous or ashamed. Is this allowed?

The party in the penthouse is glamorous and beautiful and alluring and none of the humans there are scared or look like they’re in real danger. It’s because they aren’t. None of those vampires are there to kill people. 

This is where Baz’s fear of his own nature comes in. Let’s hear it for all you homosexuals in the crowd that are/have been terrified of being predatory. Of turning the gender you’ve been told all of your life you’re not supposed to want into pieces of meat. You feel ashamed for wanting physical intimacy. You feel wrong for wanting emotional intimacy. 

Lamb is the older gay that you meet/learn about/watch on youtube or whatever that makes you learn that no, you’re not inherently evil. Lamb is the queer history, the queer movies, the queer people that you discover that make you learn that “no, i’m not bad. I’m not broken. I’m beautiful. I’m beautiful.” 

Baz thinking the sight of Lamb drinking that guy’s blood being alluring and beautiful is crucial to his arc. Baz needs to see that all of him is beautiful. 

So homosexuality = Baz being a vampire? How in the flying fuck does this have anything to do with Simon?

Remember, Baz is our key. His struggles have been happening since book one. Simon just gained his “creature” status at the end of Carry On. He’s new to this. Which means we’re new to the subtext. Which means: let’s dive on into the next big point.

Our Big Bisexual Boy

Whatever label you choose to use for Simon is up to you. As long as we all agree he likes more than one gender then it’s whatevs. I’m going to be using the word bisexual for this meta, though. 

We’re all well aware that Simon is Struggling with his bisexuality in this book. 

“I still haven’t sorted out whether I’m still attracted to women or whether I ever was, or whether I’m some kind of Baz-only-sexual. But the cleavage at this place is abundant, and I’m not mad about it.”

(taken from chapter 21) 

Like....... y’know. We know. It’s... we get it. 

The important part of that quote is that it’s at the Ren Faire. The Ren Faire is the first time Simon’s had his wings out in public since god-knows-when, if ever. This is also the first time he really considers kissing Baz in the book. Kissing Baz in Public.

Any of you that have been to Pride probably got a little bit of the warm fuzzies during this scene. The faire brought back such deep memories of my first pride it was a little bit emotional. I talked to random people, people ran around in rainbow outfits. There was body paint! Stupid hats! Weird dye jobs! The classic pride-flag-as-a-cape look! I talked to so many people and 

“Everyone here is so friendly.”

(also taken from chapter 21)

Everyone was so nice to me.

Baz feels right at home; Simon is all smiles. The only one not having a blast is Penny and she’s (I’m sorry, Penny) the token straight friend in these books. 

I don’t know how Rainbow did it, but she made me relive my first pride through Simon, and I’ll never not be grateful for that. 

“Today I’m someone else entirely. Today I’m just a bloke with fake red wings.”

The Pride/Ren Faire parallels were pretty obvious, but I wanna get a little further into the whole “wings = being bisexual” thing. 

We’ve established with Baz that being a magical creature or whatnot is Gay, but while Baz is fully magical, Simon’s “half-normal.” Kind of. It’s a weird situation there but half-normal works for the argument. 

“’Smells like dragon... but also smells like iron. Another abomination!’” 

(chapter 35)

Now the word “abomination” is really fucking unfortunate in this context, but biphobia exists so idk man. I’m gonna start talking in gay/straight terms and I absolutely know bisexuality isn’t half-gay half-straight but we’re talking in metaphors and i’ll tie it together at the end so just stick with me, okay?

He’s part dragon, part Normal (kind of). Simon’s not like Baz where he’s absolutely, 100% a vampire. He has traits of dragons and humans. This is why it’s so bad that he hates his wings half the time. They are part of him. They may not be “normal” and he may have to hide them, but he can’t just cut off the gay part. Our queerness doesn’t define us, but it’s a defining feature. 

Penny says she wouldn’t be her if she wasn’t a mage. Simon wouldn’t be Simon if he wasn’t bi. 

The mistake Simon and almost everyone else makes during this book is that they think of his wings as these separate entities. There is no gay part and straight part of Simon Snow. All of him is Simon. From the tips of his toes to the tops of his wings, all of him is Simon. He might’ve discovered this part of himself during a tragic point in his life, but that doesn’t mean it has to be something bad. It doesn’t have to be something tainted. 

Sometimes you discover things about yourself during the hardest moments of your life. When you’re already down in the dirt, beaten and bruised, sometimes a mirror is put in front of you and you realize something. You realize you’re trans. You realize you’re gay. And sometimes you resent those realizations because they came to you at the worst possible time. “This is just one more thing on my plate,” you think. 

This series is about reclaiming the things that where taken from you by the ones that hurt you. 

Simon’s going to have to learn to love his wings, because even though they remind him of something that hurts-- hurts more than anything-- they’re part of him. They are him, as much as the rest of his body is. Simon’s going to have to forgive himself, and learn to love himself for all that he is. 

Because all that he is is beautiful. 

We all know it; it’s time for him to understand that.

All right, bitches. Let’s get to the bit we all REALLY care about. this is the one that really fucks me up my dudes. Because it’s Brutal. But anyways here we go.

His wings are the Big Baz Love 

What are the two things that Simon’s  considering cutting off in this book?

“That’s what I’m going to say when I break up with Baz.”

“Dr. Wellbelove said he could remove the wings. And the tail. Whenever I’m ready.”

(Chapter 2, Epilogue)

Yikes!

My guys..... Simon and Baz don’t kiss unless Simon’s wings are out.

I truly do not understand how some of you are out here saying Simon’s gonna lose his wings I really don’t. It’s stressful. I’m stressed. Ms. Rainbow Rowell, you have me stressed. 

His Wings! Are! His Love!

On Love’s Light Wings!

Goatman dances his nasty little fingers all over the bridge that is Baz’s ass? Wings out, uses his tail to help kill the guy. Lamb is hitting on Baz too much? 

“’Spell my wings off.’”

(Chapter 45)

In the airport, when a lady is giving them the “don’t be gay” stink eye he immediately checks to make sure his tail is hidden. 

Baz can’t spell his wings off, guys. 

Baz can’t spell his wings away.

“’Snow needs you to cast your angel spell on him. I hid his wings for breakfast, but they’re still there.’“

(Chapter 19)

In Chapter 41, the biggest kiss scene we get, Simon wraps his wings around Baz to hold him. He’s embracing him in his love guys. Guys. 

Have you people noticed how i’m suddenly less articulate? It’s because i’m in crisis. Set me on fire I wouldn’t notice. I’ve been living with this terrible knowledge.

The first scene we finally see them kiss is after the scene at the Ren Faire when Simon’s wings are finally out and he finally got to fly.

“Simon catches up with me and traps me against the car. He’s kissing me before I see it coming.” 

Simon is so dtf in this scene Penny throws a water bottle at them, and it hits him in the wing. 

“’So hot,’ Simon Says. ‘Got to see you fight without picking a fight with you myself.’

Bunce throws a plastic bottle over my shoulder, and it smacks Simon in the wing.”

(Chapter 22)

She had to smack him right in the love for him to calm down, my dudes, my guys. Do you realize how hard it was for me to annotate this goddamn book with this knowledge? Every. Single. Time. Simon stretches a wing or flaps them around it’s about Baz. It gets to the point where you have to put the book down or you’re gonna explode. 

Simon’s wings are always out around Lamb. He’s jealous as hell and he hates that motherfucker’s guts. The only real injuries Simon sustains in this book are to his wings and they’re almost always when Baz gets hurt too. 

When did Simon get his wings? Only a day after he first kissed Baz.

Simon’s love for Baz is so big and so obnoxious he can’t hide it. His wings and tail have spikes, because that’s all Simon knows. He’s rough around the edges, he’s been hurt, he’s been used.

He’s never been in love before.

His love is spiky; it’s loud. It’s hotrod red and you can’t miss it when it’s out. Baz can’t see it, because Simon’s tucked it away. He hasn’t flown with it. He hasn’t wrapped it around Baz in so long. He doesn’t know how to handle a love this big, where to put it, when to unfurl it. 

Simon gets jealous. He gets scared. He’s insecure. He wants so dearly to finally give to someone instead of feeling like he’s just giving in. Like he’s still just taking from Baz.

What do you do with wings? 

How do you find somewhere safe to fly?

The Resolution.

I said earlier that if Carry On is a story of self-discovery, Wayward Son is a story of self-acceptance.

Simon has to love himself, and learn that his love for Baz is a good thing. As he accepts himself (and his dragon powers evolve go read my dragon simon meta it’s good.) he’s going to start to shine. 

This is a story being told to us with nothing but love. This is a story about a boy that’s his own worst enemy-- as all of us often are. It’s so scary to accept our wings. It’s so scary to accept our fangs. Especially when they’ve come out of such a hideous occurrence. 

We need to accept these dark times and acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, we were made more beautiful because of them. Maybe the light we give after we’ve been in darkness is more vibrant, because we know how scary the dark is. The things that happened to us were horrible, and hideous, and terrifying, but we aren’t. We’re different from how we were before, but we’re still beautiful. 

Simon Snow is going to accept himself.

Simon Snow is going to accept his past.

Simon Snow is going to finally, finally tell Baz he loves him.

And for the first time, Simon Snow is going to see that he’s beautiful.

If you’ve liked this meta you should also check out this one where i explain how they’re finally gonna get their relationship together. Also the one about the scarf

Special thank you to @singerofsimplesongs for listening to me howl and screech about this damn thing. 

Tagging some people that might be interested!

@neck-mole @watfordwallflower @carrybits @theflyingpeach @fight-surrender @shitty-posty-times @wisest-girl @slaying-fictional-dragons @gucciglitzy

[johnismyreason]

Hell on Earth (one) // KOH!TomHolland x Human!Reader

Summary: Tom, Prince of Hell and only heir to the throne, is sent to Earth by his parents as a punishment. He ends up in an odd city full of the worst humans, except one, who, despite not knowing who he truly is, decides to help him.

I have this idea since this summer and I was way too lazy and busy to put it down. This is going to be a series so if you want to be tagged for next chapters, you can send it in the ask box, and also tell me what you thought of it ! I really hope you’ll enjoy it my loves :) 

oh ! also this is my thousandth post ! Thank you so much for following me and enjoying my work, it means the world to me ! 

Warnings: sort of panick attack, cursing, bad English bc I’m French and other mistakes.

/////////////////////////////////////

“Wait... What do you mean I’m banned ?” Tom huffed, not believing what he just heard. 

His voice resonated in the gigantic throne room where his parents, the King and Queen of Hell were sat, holding hands. The room was cold, just like every other room in this castle, even though outside the weather was hot, dry, almost stifling. 

“Tom, we asked you multiple time to take your responsibilities as the future King of Hell, and instead you kept partying, having fun, hanging out with the wrong people.” explained his father “You’re not a child anymore” Tom’s heart was beating so fast making his breath was heavy. 

The young prince was known for his love for partying, being carefree and for never taking his responsibilities. Tom was the sole heir to the throne, so he knew he wouldn’t be in competition with anyone else. However he saw that as an opportunity to do whatever he wanted, more than a heavy burden to save the honour of his family. 

He looked at his father and his mother alternately, trying to process. Tom finally stoped his sight on his mother who was as disappointed as his father. Normally, she always takes his defence, try to smooth the King’s fury, but not this time. 

“Mother...” whispered Tom full of despair, looking for help, but she only looked down, hiding her sad eyes. “Father, you can’t ban me forever ! Who’s going to be the next King ?” 

“I’m not banning you forever, my son” the King rose from his throne and walked slowly towards Tom. “I know Hell must have a King or Queen no matter what. I am banning you until the moment you are responsible, respectable and grown enough to become King.” 

“That makes no sense !” Tom exclaimed flying his hands up and looking at the ceiling. “I am responsible, respectable and grown ! I am the result of the education you taught me my whole life and-”

“You don’t speak to me like that, Thomas !” cut the King when Tom started raising his voice. “You are in no position to say anything.” Tom pinched his lips to stop him from yelling again and breathed with his nostrils. His father was now right in front of him, standing tall. “You leave immediately.” 

“Immediately ?! But... But where to ? How am I gonna live ?” 

“Earth” simply responded the King. Tom puffed the breath he didn’t he was holding, his arms getting heavier. 

“Earth ?” he repeated. His father nodded his head. “Dad...” the king flinched hearing this name. It wasn’t forbidden just... unusual. “I can’t go to Earth.” Tom’s eyes are dangerously filling with tears but he knows that letting them fall won’t change anything. “Please give me another chance, I’ll do anything-”

“You will do as I said. You will go to Earth. End of discussion.” The King turned his back to Tom and walked back to his throne next to his wife who was now slightly crying. Tom ran to his mother, fell on his knees and took her hands in his, begging her to do something. 

“Mother please, don’t let me go, I promise I will behave, I’ll be the King you’re waiting for, you’re wanting me to be. P-please...” Tom was no longer holding his tears back. The Queen withdrew her hands sharply from Tom's grasp. 

“Tom, you will go to Earth as the King ordered. You will be able to come back when you are ready to take his place.” The Queen of Hell stood up and forced Tom to do the same. They faced for a few seconds trying to speak without words. The Queen was disappointed, angry and sad to see that her son was not the young King she hoped for to see, but instead was this childish, selfish and reckless prince only interested in loosing himself in every creature and drugs he could find at parties. His mother embraced him, holding him as close as she can before he leaves. After all, he’s still her only child.

“Don’t ever disappoint me like that, Tom” she whispered in his ear. Tom shivered in her arms, felling guilty to cause her this much pain. “Find a reason to be wise. This is Hell, a kingdom. Not anarchy. I will miss you my love” she sobbed and Tom buried his face in the crook of her neck, like he used to when his heart was aching as a child. 

“Mom, please don’t let me go...” his whimpers muffled in his mother’s hair. She pulled back and took Tom’s face in her hands to look at him one last time. 

“Find her” she softly smiled. Tom looked confused at the Queen, before feeling an odd warmth in his chest. 

Looking down at it, he saw a red light consuming him rapidly spreading across his body. He stepped back and hit his chest trying to take this light off of him. He knew what it meant. He saw multiple times people getting banned from Hell. Traitors, fallen demons, even his uncle. The light was taking his whole body, there was nothing Tom could have done to stop it. He raised his frightened eyes to his parents who looked at him without any emotion, when he vanished in a flash of light dust. 

///////////////////////////////

Tom doesn’t really know how he ended up in a refrigerator but as soon as he felt the cold on his skin he bursted out of it, earning little surprised screams and confused looks from the people in the grocery store. Tom looked around before heading out running. He stopped in the middle of the road when he heard a car honking at him and stoping right before him. 

“Get out of here asshole !” screamed the driver. Tom, whom was really not accustomed to be talked like that, stretched out his hand to use his power to torture the man. But, nothing happened. 

“My powers...” he mumbled. 

“What the hell are you doing, you fucking freak ?! I said get out of here !” and almost without warning, the driver hit the gas, giving Tom just the time to push himself on the side. 

He ran to the boardwalk and started walking fast, his head turning in all directions to find an issue to this nightmare. He heard people complaining about him and his weird behaviour but he couldn’t care less. He was alone, on Earth and literally powerless. He’s used to people being around him but they were always at his mercy. The noise, the heat, he knew all about it, but what he was experiencing right now was really not as delightful as the screams of sinners begging for the torture to stop. That was music to his ear. Not this mess that sounded like the worst carnival ever. He kept walking without knowing where to, his heart beating so fast and hard against his chest. Dripping in sweat, his muscles tensed, all your senses on alert, Tom thought he was going to die. 

“Sir ?!” a sweet but worried voice took him out of his invading thoughts. It seemed like the young lady owning this chanting voice was trying to call him a few times already. “Sir, do you hear me ? Are you okay ?” she was holding his shoulders to steady him. Tom’s eyes stared at her and all of her features. She was strangely reassuring and familiar, and she gave off a light that normally would have scared him away. She kept holding his gaze until she had an answer from Tom. 

“U-uh y-yeah, yeah...” Tom stuttered. “I’m fine”

“You really don’t seem fine” she questioned, her hands still on his shoulders but her grip loosened, since Tom calmed down a little. 

“I’m just... lost” he replied. 

“Oh. Do you leave around ?” 

“Not really, no.” Tom chuckled. 

“Then, how did you end up here ?” she frowned and let her hands fall to her side, and Tom immediately missed the protecting weight of her delicate hands on his body. 

“I-I... don’t know ?” 

“You don’t know ? But- oooh, I get it” she nodded her hand side to side with a cheeky smile “partied too much uh ?” the lady chuckled. 

“Is that so obvious ?” Tom jumped on the opportunity to escape from the irrational yet real reason on why he looked like an lost elephant in the middle of the Antarctic. 

“Well... yeah.” she chuckled shrugging her shoulders. Her laugh made Tom reaching another level of calm and let himself smile back at her. “Can I help you in any way ?”

Tom couldn’t believe it. He’s been on Earth for twenty minutes and already seen the worst of it and humans, even though he lived where all the worst people end up in the after life. But she, with soft words and light hands, has managed to lower the level of absolute nightmare to bearable. 

“Um...” Tom thought of how he could tell her that he didn’t know anyone, didn’t have a place to live and couldn’t tell her where he was coming from. “No, I’m gonna be alright” he shrugged, scrunching his nose. 

“Are you sure ?” she asked surprised. “You looked pretty panicked and disoriented just a few seconds ago, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you”. Tom’s heart skipped a bit. She didn’t know him and yet she worried about him. If only she knew who he was, she would never care about me so much, thought Tom. 

“Don’t worry I got it” the curly boy responded nicely. 

“Ok... well, if you need anything, I work at the bakery down the street, at Patty’s. Don’t hesitate to come visit me.” She smiled so brightly, the light in her shone stronger, calling Tom to embrace it. 

“Thank you, this is very... nice.” Nice ? What is nice ? Tom only knew pettiness in his kingdom. 

“You’re welcome ! And don’t worry, this city looks like Hell but it’s really not that bad” she giggled. The prince rose his brows and smiled slightly at her warning. Tell me about Hell. “Well, um... bye.” she waved a little at him – and he held back the urging desire to take it in his to place a delicate kiss on it – and walked passed him, turning her head back for a final look.  

Tom sighed heavily thinking that nobody will help him anymore and that he had to find a place to sleep at least for tonight. He wandered the whole day around the city of... London ? At least that’s what he heard from other people. Why this place, though ? Who chose it for him ? Is it his father ? His mother ? A random counsellor ? The fallen prince had no answer but approximately a thousand questions. 

The sun was setting down, illuminating the London’s sky with a bright pink and purple light. People were either going home or going out to party. I could use a party, thought Tom. But he shook this idea out of his brain. He was on Earth for this exact reason. I could use a bed, actually. Without noticing it, Tom went back to the square he met... Satan, I don’t even know her name ! He thought of going to that bakery and ask her for help. Maybe she knows where he can sleep tonight. Maybe she can invite him to her place. Maybe... maybe he should not bother her with his problems. Ugh ! Tom grunted in despair and cursed his parents for the deep shit he’s in. His head turned around when he heard giggles and high heels tapping the pavement. A group of girlfriends was heading to a bar to celebrate someone’s birthday. They were pretty. Tom’s feet took the lead, and walked him towards the same bar, where music – awful music he thought – was blasting. He hesitated to go inside and then thought a drink wouldn't hurt him. He has already drunk far worse than the poor human drinks. One glass, that's all. And Tom walked into the bar, his heart racing with excitement.

///////////////////////////////////

That was one drink too much. When Tom slowly emerged from his sleep, his head was banging like crazy. He squeezed his eyes open, blinded by light coming directly on his face, his hand before his sight. He then only realised where he was. Laid on a bed, his head resting on a soft pillow, under a warm blanket... naked... next to a girl, naked too... oh, actually two girls. Tom rose out from the bed. With a pillow to cover him, the party boy looked for his clothes that were spread on the floor, and put them back. That looks too familiar. He then tried to proceed to get out of the bedroom but tripped on one of the girl’s high heels.

“Damn it !” he grunted, waking up... Stacey ? 

“Uhmm Tom ? What are you doing ?” she mumbled coming out of her dreams. 

“I... go. Bye.” He opened the door and motioned out. 

“Wait ! When are we meeting again ?” she asked dropping herself with the blanket, leaving her friend fully naked. “We had a lot of fun last night” she walked closer to him, lingering a finger on his chest and biting her lip. She’s pretty. 

“Never.” He took her wrist out of his chest and said “Look, Stacey-”

“Chloe” she corrected shooting him with her eyes. 

“Shit, I knew it.” he said between his teeth. “Look, Chloe, we had fun, yes, but uhh, you see, we won’t do it again.” 

“Why ?” she looked disappointed 

“You’re not my best shot in bed. ‘Didn’t blow my mind. So, yeah... Bye !” and just like that, Tom steeped out of the appartement under a rain of insults from the now very angry girl. It always made him laugh. Playing with girls, taking what he wants from them and never apologise. 

But now what ? Back to the starting point, Tom was a wandering soul in London. His head was killing him from all of the alcohol he had. It shouldn’t be hurting him this much. Human’s beverages were poor and weak. He never understood why alcoholic sinners were so addicted to this. It’s not even good ! His feet were dragging him through the wakening city and he felt his stomach growled. 

“How the hell did I end up here again ?” Tom mumbled scratching his scalp. He was back on the square his life saver left him yesterday. It’s maybe a sign, thought Tom. A sign ? What sign ? Tom didn’t have much more time to think before his stomach screamed for food. “Guess I don’t have any other choice” he sighed and began to walk towards the bakery. 

When he arrived, the prince of Hell, discovered a bright colour painted shop, with a few tables and a window full of pastries, sandwiches and cakes. His mouth watering at the sight, he could have smashed the window and eaten it all. 

“You ? Hi !” said a melodic voice. Tom snapped his head up to look at you. What an angel.

“Hi... You remember me ?” asked Tom 

“I do, yeah ! Um, how are you doing ?” you smiled 

“Perfect !” responded enthusiastically Tom, his hands behind his back. 

“Yeah ?”

“No, I lied.” he admitted immediately, taking you by surprise. You blinked a few times not knowing what to say. “I’m in deep shit actually” 

“Umm, wow, ok... so how can I help you ?”

“First, can I know your name ?”

You shook your head lightly realizing that indeed, you never told each other’s names “Oh yeah, I’m Y/N. You ?”

“My name’s Tom, prin- just Tom” he cut himself from using the old and vanished way of presenting himself.

“Ok, just Tom,” you giggled trying to relax, “what’s next ?”

“Next, could you offer me something to eat and drink and seat with me so I can expose you my, uhh, situation”. That was bold of him to ask you to give you food when you were still strangers to each other.

But you didn’t hesitate “Sure ! What would you like ?” You demanded with the biggest smile. How is it possible to be so nice ?

“The tuna sandwich please ?” What ? I don’t even like tuna ! It’s because of that smile...

“Great ! Have a seat and I’ll join you right away” you both nodded at each other and Tom chose a table that was the farrest from the counter. While waiting for you, he fought of how he could tell you that he’s actually the Prince of Hell, whom was banned by his parents to teach him a lesson, and didn’t know why he ended up here, in London, but however he still needs a place to live for a few days, or weeks, or month... or years. Tom let out a deep breath and played with his fingers.

This is gonna be easy. Right ?

_______________________________________________________________________

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[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #252: DECIDING FACTOR!

February, 1985

Who on Earth is strong enough to smash Hercules? Hint: there’s two of them!

Well I have my guess but I happened to guess right so I won’t be sharing. Let’s sayyyyyyyy.... Más y Menos.

Its very rude of DCAU’s Más y Menos to be picking on Hercules. Maybe sí podemos but that doesn’t mean ustedes should.

Anyway.

Last times on Avengers, Vision walked through a null field created by Annihilus and promptly fell in a robot coma and had to be put in a tube. He regained consciousness and Starfox hooked him up to the Titan supercomptuer ISAAC after which Vision started behaving oddly. When half of the Avengers got back from Secret Wars, Vision convinced Wasp to step down as chairman and nominate him. He’s created a second branch of the team in California under Hawkeye’s leadership. He’s pushed the president into making the Avengers chair a member of the Cabinet. He hid Starfox’s secret sexy power from the rest of the team. And just last issue, it was revealed that Vision and ISAAC have built a take-over-the-world-for-its-own-good device with Vision only lacking the will to pull the trigger on it.

So, uh, stuff is afoot.

Vision stuff. And, oddly enough, Doc Sampson stuff.

Vision is very impressed on seeing what seems to be Doc Sampson’s demo reel and offers him membership in the Avengers.

Doc Sampson turns him down because he doesn’t see himself as hero material and he already accepted an offer to join the faculty of Northwestern University.

Vision: “That needn’t rule you out, doctor! What would you say to heading a new, Midwestern branch of the Avengers? I should think you’re make an excellent group leader!”

Wow, Vision. You’re coming on a little strong there.

Midwest Avengers seems like the kind of thing that would be made up to spoof the expansion team idea, kinda like the Great Lakes Avengers of later. But if Vision seems desperate to get Doc Sampson to join the Avengers, well I think he is desperate.

Vision talked to ISAAC of his frustrations on trying to spread the power and influence of the Avengers. He has his take-over-the-world-for-its-own-good device but he doesn’t seem to want to use it. So he’s trying to repeat the trick with the West Coast Avengers. Sign up more and more Avengers. If you told this era of Vision about the 50 State Initiative, he’d be all over it.

But Doc Sampson turns him down. For the best. God only knows who Vision would have finagled into being on the Midwest Avengers in Chicago.

Doc Sampson: I wonder if I made a mistake in turning down the Vision’s offer? Being part of such a team would have given me an opportunity to observe some highly unusual psyches up close. But, no... I could hardly maintain an impartial detachment in such a situation.

Yeah. A Doc Sampson led Chicago-branch would have been an implosion waiting to happen. And Sampson will get his chance to pick the brains of a superhero team later with X-Factor. He does not maintain an impartial detachment.

On his way out, Starfox very much wants to discuss this newspaper headline. As he’s from a more advanced space civilization that doesn’t have prejudice probably, this is very baffling to him.

He hasn’t been on Earth long enough to learn that “ANTI-MUTANT FEAR GRIPS U.S.” is Tuesday.

I wonder if it corresponds to anything going on in the X-books. I tried to look it up but the same month as this issue, X-Men was doing a Kulan Gath thing.

Anyway, Vision and Doc Sampson agree that anti-mutant fear gripping things is bad and could tear society apart.

So in case anyone was ever wondering: the Avengers officially think anti-mutant fear is whack.

Anyway, on the mansion’s back patio, Captain America and Scarlet Witch are just having some old friend hangout time.

It’s a nice moment, really.

Wanda is drinking tea and Cap is just sketching her because they’re comfortable enough friends to hang out in a tea sketch party.

Anyway, Cap is also familiar enough with Wanda to know that she’s well vexed.

And she admits that she’s well vexed by two things. Of course, by the new wave of anti-mutant phobia because it really seems like a cruel cycle where every time people seem like they’re chilling out or there’s a swell of tolerance, it just gets yanked back. A cruel yo-yo of intolerance.

Also, its happening when she’s having personal trouble with Vision. He’s keeping secrets and he has some really extreme moods.

Scarlet Witch: “One moment he’ll be friendly and open, and the next he’ll get so remote!”

I wonder if its possible for Hank Pym’s bipolar disorder to have skipped a generation and somehow been inherited by Vision. That’s entirely not how anything works but I dunno. That sounds like Hank.

Since Cap has been wondering about Vision’s behavior (he and Monica Marvel had a discussion about it in the previous issue, remember?), he agrees to go talk to Vision.

Vision is having solemn thoughts in the mansion’s library, having been upset by the Daily Bugle that Starfox was waving around.

Vision: The world is beset by so much strife. Humanity cries out for peace... Yearns for life and prosperity... but in the end it denies itself that which it most desires! Mankind might never put aside its prejudices. Too many have refused responsibility for their own actions. How can they be expected to save the world? And, yet, who am I -- a synthezoid, an artificial being -- to rail against men of flesh? My encephalatron command chair would give me the power to bring peace to the world... and yet I hesitate to use it! Can I find the courage... make the sacrifice necessary to use that power?

That’s when Cap wanders in to give Vision a talking to. A supportive, helpful talking to.

Since he assumes that what Vision has on his mind is the burdens of leadership, he confides that he knows how tough it can be to have to always make the right decision at a moment’s notice and that he’s here if Vision needs a sympathetic ear.

Vision admits that chairmanship isn’t what he expected. He’s not unaware of the strain that its putting on his marriage. Especially since he insisted that they rejoin the team when Wanda would have preferred to return to their civilian life in New Jersey.

Cap tells him just talk to her more, ya goof.

So this is a very nice conversation between friends and peers that Vision drops a bomb of a totally-a-hypothetical into.

Vision: “Cap, what would you do if you discovered that you could bring peace and prosperity to the entire world... but only at the cost of your personal well being, perhaps of your own existence?”

Cap: “What?!”

Vision: “We have all put our lives on the line many times to stop world-threatening menaces, but it occurs to me that we’ve seldom tried to do anything to cure the world of its ills.”

Cap: “We do what we can, Vision. There are no fast and simple ways to eliminate want or fear.”

Vision: “But what if there were a way to insure a lasting peace to the world, to bring about a new golden age? What if you could only bring it about by sacrificing yourself? What if you could make the world a paradise, but you could never enjoy it yourself? Could you do it?”

Cap: “It pains me to say this, Vision, but I honestly don’t know. I don’t believe I could know unless the situation actually presented itself. Life should never be given up lightly, but... if there were a way to truly save the world... I’d like to think that I’d make the sacrifice. But I’d have to be certain that it would work!”

Vision: “Yes... Yes, there could be no room for doubt.”

I do really like the slow unfolding of whatever Vision’s Supervillain Actually Its Well-Intentioned plan is. His doubts and how he poses a very specific hypothetical to Cap to see what The Iconic Avengers Leader thinks.

At this point my guess is that Vision is going to turn himself into a supercomputer like ISAAC to take over the world, for its own good. Since it was apparently inspired when he was plugged into a supercomputer and was running the mansion.

Anyway, Wanda runs in and interrupts the totally-a-hypothetical discussion with big, alarming news that their house from the Vision and Scarlet Witch series is on fire.

That’s rough.

By the time Wanda, Vision, and emotional support Captain America show up, the ire is unstoppable and the firefighters just let it burn down.

That’s rougher.

Later, Vision and Wanda pick through the smouldering rubble.

And worse of all, this wasn’t a random electrical or grease or magic fire. It was arson. And the arsonist even called the cops to make sure everyone knew it.

Scarlet Witch: “So! I should have known! The blind, unreasoning fools! Do I have to fight them for the rest of my life?!?” This is so maddening! Losing my temper won’t bring our house back... all I’ve done is frighten the neighbors. That’s always been the biggest problem in being a mutant... No one will let you act human.

=(

Some random bystanders basically gloat that the “weirdies are finally leaving” causing Captain America to go off.

Captain America: “For your information, mister, those ‘weirdies’ have saved your hide a dozen times over! They’ve fought and bled so you could have a home!”

Bystander: “N-now hold on, Cap! Me, I don’t have anything against ‘em... but why’d they have to move into my neighborhood? I mean, all our houses coulda caught fire from that blaze! This never woulda happened, if they hadn’t moved here!”

Captain America: “Mister, today somebody decided that he didn’t like mutants. Tomorrow, maybe someone will decide he doesn’t like blacks... or jews... or you! We’re all in this together. The American dream has to be there for everyone, or it can never truly work for anyone! It’s our duty to do everything we can to make sure it works!”

I doubt Bystander is very convinced. Maybe momentarily shamed. But in an hour he’ll be like “am I wrong about mutants? No, its the tolerant people who are wrong.”

But Vision... Vision has made up his mind.

Vision: ‘Do I have the right to take over the world for its own good?’

Vision: ‘Moral quandary resolved.’

The next morning, Vision has exciting new terrible news for the team. The US Army Corp of Engineers have dug up Thanos’ secret base in Arizona from his first appearance in Iron Man #55. And despite Vision protesting how dumb it is to poke unknown alien technology in hopes of finding a cool new weapon for America’s strategic arsenal, the Department of Defense is having the army poking unknown alien technology in hopes of finding a cool new weapon for America’s strategic arsenal.

Captain America: “Blazes! I believe in a strong defense as much as anyone, but the hardware Thanos used is way out of the army’s league!”

Starfox: “Perhaps more than even you can imagine, Cap! My brother Thanos was a ravager of worlds... he coveted power and worshiped death! His hidden base could well hold the means to rip this planet asunder!”

Cool, cool.

Man, I hate it when the US Army blew up the world in 1985 by poking alien gewgaws.

Anyway, Vision did manage to talk the government into allowing a small group of Avengers to act as advisers.

Instead of rounding up scientific geniuses slash superheroes like they did for Bruce Banner’s lab, Vision just selects everyone he has handy.

He says he’d like to assign the West Coast Avengers (who in fairness do have two scientific experets - Mockingbird and Wonder Man, kinda) but they’re busy with an off-panel mission in the Pacific. Just because they don’t have a book doesn’t mean they stop doing stuff.

So instead Vision selects Captain America, Hercules, Scarlet Witch, and Starfox (who in fairness is a great choice since he knows space science and Thanos) and sends them off.

Yeah. Vision is totally going to get up to stuff while they’re gone.

This foreboding is enhanced when Captain Marvel shows up and Vision tells her he has a special assignment for her.

Vision: “Our deep space monitor has picked up some disturbing signals -- that seems to be emanating from Sanctuary II, the starship which once belonged to the mad Thanos! After the arch-fiend’s final defeat, we left his ship to drift beyond the orbit of Pluto!”

Since she’s the fastest Avenger he asks her to leave at once, fly out to the ship to check it out, and then report back.

So. Light is the fastest thing, the speed limit of the universe. Give or take tachyons which are FTL and also hypothetical. And I don’t know if Captain Marvel can turn into tachyons. Point being, the speed of light is really friggin fast but the universe is really friggin big. Even something as ‘close’ as our solar backyard where Pluto is located is 4.9 billion miles away and takes light 4.6 hours to get there from Earth.

He is definitely getting Captain Marvel out of the way where even her nyoom will take a while to get back.

The Vision slowly stalks through the corridors of Avengers Mansion. On the second floor, he pauses before the door of the quarters he for so long shared with his wife... recalling past joys and sorrows. And then, he moves on -- solemnly descending the grand staircase, as if for the final time.

O_O

Uh...... plus side is that he gives Jarvis the day off to take his mother to Montauk Point!

I just like seeing Jarvis in Avengers.

He’s always around but only occasionally seen.

My god. His vacation clothes though.

Of course, Vision being nice to Jarvis who deserves good things is only partially because Jarvis is a cool guy who deserves nice things.

Vision has managed at this point to clear everyone out of the mansion and he locks the doors behind Jarvis so that NO ONE CAN INTERRUPT WHAT HE MUST DO.

Meanwhile, team ‘prevent the military from doing anything stupid’ arrives in Arizona and at the site of Thanos’ former base.

Huh. I was half and half on whether Vision was just making shit up to get the Avengers out of the house but I guess something really is going on.

Makes sense. If they went there and found nothing, they’d return too soon.

I wonder if there’s something really going on with Thanos’ ship Sanctuary II too.

If so, was it just a great coincidence that Vision had two different emergencies he could divert the team with the day after he decided to go through with his plan or is it just the Avengers’ lot that there’s constantly emergencies going on and he had his pick of them?

Anyway. Colonel Farnam of the US Army is convinced that they have everything under control at Operation: Prize Package and don’t need any Avengers supervision.

Colonel Farnam: “If we can figure out how just a fraction of this gear works, the United States will never again need fear an enemy power!”

Captain America: “I’m told that similar sentiment was expressed following the development of the crossbow, Colonel.”

Nice sass, Cap.

But, like, the instant that the Avengers are escorted inside the base, Starfox spots some technicians messing with a machine to see what it does and they tell him to screw off when he tells them not to mess with things they don’t understand.

Starfox: “GET AWAY FROM THERE!”

Scientist: “What are you, crazy?! We’ve spent twelve hours trying to goose this transmitter to life... we’re not going to stop now!”

He has to drag them away from a sudden energy surge as the machine activates by itself with a programmed homing signal that will bring Something to the base.

Colonel Farnam: “Now hold it right there, Avenger! Only my men are authorized to monkey with these machines!”

Starfox: “Colonel, I was raised among machiens such as these! If I can’t fix these settings, your men don’t stand a chance!”

Colonel Farnam: “I don’t care if you were raised in... GOOD LORD!”

Geez. It may have been partially a ruse to get the Avengers out of the house but its a good thing Vision sent the Avengers here. The US Army was clearly going to doom the world unsupervised.

GOOD JOB RANDOM SCIENTISTS

NOW HERCULES IS GETTING HIS ASS KICKED

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED, YOU MONSTERS??

Anyway, the Blood Brothers are some Thanos minions from early days. Weird that they never showed up for the MCU. Like, look, they didn’t need to be part of the Black Order. They don’t have the theme naming.

But these two dinguses would have made great antagonists in one of the earlier movies.

Though Starfox and Hercules get wrecked for being the nearest to the Blood Brothers when they appear, Cap and Scarlet Witch do better for being slightly forewarned.

Captain America can do the backflips to keep from getting punched and Wanda’s do anything powers are as helpful as always.

Meanwhile, back at Avengers Mansion, Dane Whitman (sometimes the Black Knight, sometimes just exhausted), arrives and tries to use his old Avengers ID card to enter.

The security system does not like that.

Anyway, back in Arizona, Starfox rejoins the fight. That’s good.

Wanda tries to do her patented ‘all oxygen play keep away from this guy’ move on one of the Blood Brothers but his super strength lets him slam the ground to break Wanda’s concentration.

The other Blood Brother tries to strangle Captain America who got knocked into a pile of rubble but Hercules emerges from underneath the rubble to do that greatest of comic book tropes.

Ah, grievous harm with a body. How I love you.

But though the Blood Brothers heads are hard enough to knock each other out, the fight did do some lasting damage.

TO MY PERCEPTION OF HERCULES!

When the Blood Brothers beat the shit out of Hercules at the beginning of the fight, they apparently tore his Hercules skirt.

And Hercules isn’t wearing anything under his Hercules skirt.

So the other three Avengers get to see Hercules’ mighty adamantine mace, so to speak.

That’s all well and good.

Except its not!

Hercules? Being ashamed of public nudity??

That doesn’t sound like the Hercules I know!

Tsk tsk, how retroactively out of character! Annnnd possibly not retroactively? Didn’t he compete in the original Olympics which were no pants allowed?

You’ve corrupted him, modern society!

Anyway.

Captain America starts yelling at the colonel because if the Avengers hadn’t been here, it would have been a major disaster.

Captain America: “You were warned -- Washington was warned -- that something like this could happen! But those warnings were almost totally ignored!”

But back at Avengers Mansion, Dane Whitman wakes up and sees this argument being broadcast on a jumbo screen.

Vision: “People never listen to those who know better! I shall have to change all that!”

Vision: “Hello, Dane. I’m sorry you had to be incapacitated. But your arrival was most unexpected... and I really can’t afford any interruptions now! You see, I have to save humanity from itself!”

Something about you seems different, Vision.

Did you become one with the universe? It’s a pretty popular move.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because whoa what huh? Vision what? Also, like and reblog. Its necessary to save humanity from itself.

[beauty-and-passion]

Hey! I want to ask you to make a theory on Janus! (if you can and if you want!) Because although I'm more than convinced, doubts are a pain. And it's really bothering me!

In Moving On 1/2, was Roman really Roman? Or was it Janus all along? I had felt icky when watching the videos the first time. Roman was just Off! He was acting weird and sounded strange! And his posture was a little too distinct I think. Either way I brushed it off as me being parano-vigilant (overthinking/overanalyzing) and continued with the videos. Until I saw this video: https://youtu.be/fUOXX266pVQ (Sander Sides theory: Is Janus disguised as Roman?)

A few things I, myself, noticed were that "Roman" was facing Thomas with the right side of face a lot. He was turned just a smidge and mostly kept the right side of his face towards Thomas. Also he used his Left Hand! A lot! While we've seen the real Roman use his right (in the very next episode). In addition there were a lot of Yellow and Black themes with anything he picked up! Also, I feel like after what happened, Roman would be in his room sulking or hurt. We know he gets bruised (In Negative Thinking) due to a blow to the ego. And that was only because of a little mishap on the stage! An infinitesimal mistake! But this was far more serious! Roman is romance! Imagine how much he could've been suffering after such events! Giving Janus the perfect opportunity to strike! To steer Thomas on the path he deems is crucial to Thomas' bigger future. To his wants. It just seems right that it was him!

Also Roman saying "dude" to Virgil!? He's supposed to be creativity! He has the best names for anyone and everyone!

And at 3:12 in the second part when Thomas mentions that "lying is a side of himself he prefers not to feed into"...... the picture behind him is him with yellow gloves!

And (if it's him, J starts acting more like himself! The facial expressions, posture, monologue, everything!)

That's all I'm saying- I'm really conflicted because there doesn't seem to be enough proof for whether it's Ro or Jan!!

Okay, I saw that video and, well, I don’t think Janus was impersonating Roman during those two episodes. The points made in the video, despite being interesting, were also a bit flawed.

For example: Roman criticizing Thomas when he started to dance and asking him to stop. The authors of the video said it was weird, because Roman “would never do that and, on the contrary, he would encourage Thomas to keep going, because he’s Creativity.”

But, seriously, has Roman ever done that? Has Roman ever accepted ALL kind of creativity? If that was the case, then why Roman would hate his brother’s creative suggestions this much? They’re still creativity, after all. He should accept them as well. He’s Creativity, after all.

This connects to another point, further in the video, in which the authors said it was weird Roman wasn’t able to play the flute. They said (and I quote): “As Creativity, he should have the abilty to play instruments”.

Can you see where the mistake is? The authors forgot something extremely important Thomas clarified long time ago, in the Q&A:

[Anxiety]: No, I'm not the same for everybody. I'm Thomas' anxiety. Everyone's works differently.

Thomas’ Sides are HIS Sides. They don’t encompass the universal concepts of Creativity, Morality or Anxiety. So, since Roman isn’t the representation of the general, human concept of Creativity, it makes sense he’s not able in all forms of the creative spectrum. Because Thomas isn’t, so he’s not as well.

Therefore, Roman isn’t able to accept and welcome all kinds of creativity, because he’s Thomas’ Creativity. Thomas isn’t a good dancer, so Roman would prefer him to not dwell into that. Thomas isn’t a good musician, so Roman isn’t as well. But Thomas is good at acting - and we saw Roman dragging him on stage and perform sketches. Thomas is good at singing and we saw Roman writing songs and doing musicals. And Thomas is good at writing - and we saw Roman suggesting fanfictions about Frozen.

If we think about it, the same happens to everyone in real life. If you’re good at dancing and terrible at playing, it’s very unlikely your creativity will push you to play the guitar, rather than learn some good moves. No one is expert of everything, so no one’s Creativity is as well :)

While other points in the video, are taken a bit too subjectively. The authors lacked objectivity and interpreted some details as proofs, while most of them were just jokes or due to the situation. Of course Roman didn’t want to leave, because Patton’s room was a sanctuary in which he could reminisce about all past things he likes. Of course Roman pushed for Thomas to call back his ex - because he needs love, as he said in FWSA:

[Roman]: I so... SO badly want this. I- I'm desperate for it... ...but you can't have true love... ...if the relationship isn't built on truth.

And let’s not forget that Patton’s room played a role as well. Roman was too immersed into reminiscing the past, that he descended into a too familiar train of thoughts: oh look at how beautiful everything was in the past and your relationship was so beautiful as well. Hey, why don’t we call back your ex? Isn’t that a train of thoughts a lot of people experience, while dealing with a break up?

And of course Roman was acting strange: because Patton’s room influenced him. Just like it influenced Virgil, by increasing his anxiety and how it forced Logan to leave. After all, we saw that Virgil’s room affects everyone, so why Patton’s room shouldn’t have done it as well?

Speaking of your points. They’re all interesting and they proved you’re a good observer - it takes a lot of attention to find all these details, so hats off to you! But they’re also too small or inconsistent, to be considered proofs.

For example, using the left hand has never been associated with Janus - all Sides shifts from left to right hand all the time and Roman in particular is ambidextrous (he wrote with his left during the Christmas episode and wields the sword with his right during the Valentine one).

And Roman not having a best name for Virgil isn’t exactly a novelty. One example in Am I Original:

[Princey]: Quiet, you... Jerky-McJerk Face. Argh, I'm too busy brainstorming to think of a harmful nickname.

Also, when Thomas said that "lying is a side of himself he prefers not to feed into”, I checked the scene just to see these gloves you talked about...

And I know it’s a bit small, but check the video: those are not gloves. Those are the sleeves of a shirt :P And they’re orange, not yellow, so why should they refer to Janus? XD

In conclusion: I know we all love overanalyzing stuff, I love it too, but sometimes we should listen to Thomas’ advice and not see too much into things XD

It’s true that some details are specifically put in the episodes for us to notice (like the orange 07734 message in POF. That was definitely added for the fandom to see it and freak out - as we did). But others are just details, jokes, parts of a funny gag. Being parano-vigliant is funny and good, especially with this series because of the huge amount of easter eggs and connections... but sometimes all we can do is just enjoy a funny gag :D