#that he is the biggest liar ever

[putredolarva]

( source! )

[jedi-starbird]

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

[sorrygotthesesacks]

Ok but like when Silver grabbed Sebek’s hand (despite Sebek protesting like the tsundere he is), it made me think of this Gendice moment.

Because if you know me at all, you know I have a thing for hands.*

*Not in a Kira way.

[brynn-lear]

I never got too deep into enstars but there are days where I miss Mama 😔

[vastiitas]

october,,,, ft el hermano @quick-drawn

[crowshoots]

jesper sometimes gets to be the pettiest little guy whenever it comes to the grisha shit. i love it

[earl-grey-love]

Due to the lines Barbs says it sometimes feels like his surprise guests interactions are like I just cornered him unexpectedly and started playing with him like a toy or something. Especially since a lot of what he enjoys is odd, like being shaken or ignored. And he's like;

He's a strange one. I think he likes the audacity more than anything. Also maybe he's just deflecting to hide how touchstarved he is. Either way I'm amused by it.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

one of the funniest things about s-class heroine is the way in-universe, tesilid is seen as the most trustworthy and honourable gentleman even though he's probably the biggest liar that walked that earth.

like. aged 10 the vatican is DYING to find out more about the saintess and he's the only one in the boss room who was awake when the dungeon opened. they must have grilled him so bad. they don't give a shit if he's ten and recovering from trauma, the sacred sheep are just tools and this one better spill all it knows. and yet they don't learn a thing about ailette.

note that this is way before he has all those years of regression, where he is forced to practise lying bc he needs to explain why he knows things he has no business knowing.

and then post-regression he and ailette just casually conspire to have him be the one to insist on their cover stories, because his reputation is so pristine that people would surely believe him just based on his word alone. bonkers!! this is the esteemed wielder of the holy sword!

AND, whenever ailette asks him about him about something that doesn't add up, he gives the most bullshit reason ever. and she doesn't really question it. the only person in the world who knows about his obligations and knows how much he pretends to be nicer than he actually wants to be, and she's like "nah tesilid wouldn't lie to me". like yeah she has every reason to believe that, and she's right in that tesilid wouldn't lie to her for no good reason, but the way he gets away with so much lying is so hilarious to me. i know she doesn't 100% buy it and is mostly just trusting tesilid's judgement on what she should or should not know, but. he gets away with SO MUCH lying. it's so funny.

i love the way the story gives him agency by making him just lie all the damn time. and then he just blinks and has a neutral face and everyone trusts him. this is the well-known doormat of the vatican, look at his face would he lie to you.

[darabeatha]

[kysvn]

will never forgive my father for appearing in my dream and approving of the wrong person for me

[celesteleoves]

hcs of bakugou / todoroki being a hardcore simp for reader maybe?

“I WANNA BE YOURS.”

KATSUKI BAKUGOU/SHOTO TODOROKI x fem!reader.

summary: what the request said!

warnings: swearing (bakugou…), mentions of todoroki’s childhood (very brief), that’s it i believe!

a/n: i love this request. i hope i wrote this to your liking!

—

BAKUGOU KATSUKI —

he is a very subtle simp. you probably wouldn’t even think he liked you if you guys weren’t already dating. the way he shows his love for you is… questionable.

he does the simple things like following you around like a lost puppy (even though he swears he does NOT) .

he’ll definitely demand you never leave his side so he can always be there to protect you.

“you’re so weak, you need me to be there to protect you at all times.”

you’ll just nod, enjoying your boyfriends presence. (he’s actually geeking over you aswell and the fact you grace him with your presence).

he takes you everywhere with him and doesn’t care about what anyone says. oh, aizawa paired him up with kirishima? you’re coming with. you can’t stay a second away from him before he’s rushing around like a headless chicken looking for you.

your biggest fan by far, anything you do he’s practically on the floor worshipping you. then the next second he’ll be calling your outfit disgusting in the sweetest way possible.

he’ll also deny the fact he’s a simp for you. one time, kirishima caught the poor boy gazing at you, dare i say LOVINGLY, across the room as you did a mundane task.

kirishima has never grinned wider than he did when he noticed this. your boyfriend noticed the quiet chuckles leaving his friend and turned towards him.

“what the fuck are you laughing at?”

“you stalking y/n!”

“I WAS NOT STARING AT HER.” sure… liar. you literally just outed yourself…

bakugou loved you, even though he shows it in his weird, weird ways.

SHOTO TODOROKI —

the sweetest, sweetest boyfriend ever. literally the ideal boyfriend anyone could have SIMPLY because of how doting he is towards his partner.

he’s absolutely enamoured with you. he isn’t shameful about it either! (referencing one of my other head-canons) .

this boy will downright show his love for you.

we all know shoto has a hard time with social cues, he blames it on his childhood and the lack of social times he had – always being isolated.

that’s also the reason why he doesn’t understand why he can’t stare you down like a hawk and not expect people to be slightly worried… why is he staring at you like he wants to eat you?

cuteness aggression is a thing. you both get it when you’re with each other.

you can’t believe you managed to secure this boy. he never opened up to just anyone, yet for you he made an exception. you flew that all the time.

meanwhile your boyfriend is still in denial you two are dating. every time you bring up your realtionship he’s blushing like a maniac and shying away from you.

your classmates notice the little things. such as you placing your phone face up only for it to be face down a couple seconds later because todoroki fixed it for you knowing you don’t want people staring at every notification on your phone (this is so me guys i’m sorry).

he is very attentive, he’s such a simp. he’ll pick up on the little things. sometimes, you feel like he knows you better than you know yourself.

there was definitely one time you had been making yourself a snack in the kitchen, forgetting to get one of your favourite piece of food for the snack .

once your snack was made, you frowned at the missing piece of your food you wanted.

starting to get upset, you looked around for something to make up for this.

“here.” a soft voice spoke causing you to relax at the sound of todorokis gentle tone.

“i can’t find my-”

“y/n. here.”

you looked at your boyfriends hand, noticing he was holding multiple variations of the missing food item you craved.

your lips trembled at his thoughtfulness and you pulled your boyfriend in for a hug as he returned it with a soft smile on his face.

he’s too sweet for you and such a simp!

—

a/n: guys, bare with me if there is spelling errors. this was not proof-read! i hope this was good enough, it was kind of short.

SEND REQUESTS! 🤍🤍

[gabichanwrites]

Just realized that if only Poseidon went straight to Ithaca and asked for Odysseus, Penelope could do the biggest gamble of them all and get one of the suitors in SUCH DEEP SHIT.

Poseidon: "Odysseus of Ithaca! Tell me this instant where is this mortal who dared to hurt my son and try to lie about his name!

Penelope: ...

Suitors: ....

Penelope: *stops weaving*

Penelope: *pointing right at Antonius* There he is! This one is Odysseus, my husband and king of Ithaca! Please don't sink us, almighty god of the sea!

Antonius: What? I'm not Odysseus, I--

Penelope: Of course he would say that! He's a liar!

Poseidon: *has no reason to not believe her, wipes him out effortlessly*

Then Odysseus comes back like "It's me, Penelope! Your husband!"

Penelope: "No, you're not. From now on your name is Agamemnon the Greater and the new lover I marry to make king."

Odysseus: *grumbling* why after Agamemnon though...

AND HOW WOULD POSEIDON EVER KNOW?!

[dressycobra7]

@cherry-blossom-consumer @wukong-s-only-wife5000 @notsofrozt @crazyabout-writing

here, have a "wip" of Sun Wukong i'm never going to finish cause ive kinda been hating my jttw art and feeling bad that its my curren special interest.

didn't even do the orange tips!

[simonrileysfavteacup]

Taking care of Simon while he’d be sick is so funny. 

Okay, so he just got back from a long mission and he’s all cuddly and cute and everything. And during that first night of him being back, he can’t sleep and you notice (obviously). He’s coughing, his skin is red, his nose is all stuffy and he’s constantly sniffling. He’s sitting up, coughing, loud as fuck because he’s a fucking grandpa.

And you’re just being the sweet little thing you are, staring up at him from your lying position like “you good bro?” 

And this asshole just nods, laying back down and still coughing, shaking the whole fucking bed. Of course, you’re still staring at him all doe eyed before getting up to get him a glass of water. And when you come back to give it to him, he just shakes his head, “Fine, lovie.”

You pout but still leave the glass next to him on his bedside table. When you wake up the next morning, it’s empty. And so is the other side of your shared bed. Simon’s hunched over in the bathroom, running cold water over his even more red face. He looks up at you when you lean against the doorframe of the bathroom, staring at him with a gloomy look on your face. “Did you catch a cold?”

He shakes his head, looking away. 

Liar.

You just stare at him again for at least a good 2 minutes before giving up.

He stays denying that he’s sick, refusing to take any medication and only getting worse by the day. Lying in bed, coughing his heart out, assuring you he’s fine. 

He’s clearly not. 

And when it finally gets too bad, like his nose hurts when he sneezes, his throat closes up, and he feels too hot all the time, he’ll finally admit to you he’s sick. Crawling up to you, like a child, snuggling into you on your bed, sniffling every 2 minutes. 

And of course, the best girlfriend in the world will always take care of him. 

Making him soup, pressing a warm cloth to his head, feeding him his meds on time, taking good care of him. Best girlfriend ever. At least to him.

Because Simon Riley is the biggest baby in the world.

[rqnarok]

dbf!logan ‘just the tip’ howlett.

cws/tags: smut, mdni! dbf!logan. daddy kink. unspecified age gap. unprotected p in v.

The clock almost strikes eight in the morning when the both of you are still lazily lying around on Logan’s bed, smelling like sex and secrets.

Forbidden—but you and him are too drowned in the intoxicated water to reach back into the surface.

Neither of you cares about anything else anymore.

“I can’t,” You whine at him, jutting your lips to a pout, your eyes trailing your eyes into his hard length in front of you, “‘M gonna - have to go home.” 

“C’mon, sweets,” He pleads as he palms your naked breasts in his large palms, rolling the peaking nipples in between his fingers, “How ‘bout just the tip, baby? Jus’ give Daddy a little taste, yeah?” 

You should’ve known that Logan’s older than that myth—that card to corrupt your innocence—but his guilt is buried deep by his desire, his primal need to have you that leaves him with little to no restraints.

Your doe-eyes is the only sign that he needs. 

A mark for your submission sent him spiraling that he had to bite his left cheek to hide his smugness.

Logan’s too old for this shit.

”O-okay,” You reply in a nod, meek and quiet, “But jus’ the tip, promise?” 

Logan doesn’t care if he’s too old. 

“‘Promise, baby.” Logan murmurs as he locks his pinky with yours. 

Logan is the biggest fuckin’ liar. 

“H-ah! More!” He’s got you on all fours, your saliva drips onto his pillows as you lost your energy to keep yourself up while Logan fucks you from the back. 

He grips your sides and uses his strength to manhandle your body back and front to his hard cock.

“So good f’r Daddy, sweetheart.” He groans so deep he barely recognizes his own voice, “So fuckin’ good, baby.” 

You are getting impatient with how he’s torturing you by drawing his length so deliberately slow so he can watch your velvet walls gripping him—before thumping it back in. Logan’s never satisfied until his hips are pressed flush to the fast of your ass.

Then, he repeats the process—snapping his hips forward, leaving you moaning out a high-pitched noise as your hands uselessly clutch at the sheets. 

Logan watches with pride as he knows that he’s the one who’s able to make you feel like this. The only one. 

He bends forward, his broad figure covering your trembling back, “Tha’ my girl. So fuckin’ sweet for your old man.” The head of his cock ruts along that gummy spot inside of you, “Now, wha’ dya say to Daddy?” 

Logan hears a weak muffled answer from when your head is buried.

“Hmm? Wha’s that, baby?” 

Gently, he cups your chin to tip your head just enough so he could hear your reply.

He hears a hiccuped sob—then—“Than’ you, Daddy.”

A throaty chuckle comes out of him as he presses a kiss on your messy hair, “Wha’ a good doll y’are.

Something in the way he manhandles you—the way this feels so taboo—makes your body spasm in his hold—toes curling as you reach your peak.

Logan tightens his grip around you when he feels how your warm walls are squeezing him. 

You both feel like living in an utterly different world in this euphoria that washes over the room. 

Suddenly this is the only home you’ve ever known.

[lilacerull0]

wasn't being entirely serious, but to be perfectly honest... it is only now occurring to me how wilson's house analysis is not necessarily a correct reading of his character ALL OF THE TIME. i think cameron is much better at understanding him which is why he pushes her away more than he does wilson

cameron makes a better wilson than wilson