#that got A LOT LONGER than i meant it to so don't feel you gotta match length ahahaaaaaaaaaaa oh nooOOOOOOOO BUT ALSO YAY AT LEAST THAT'S

[holdmytesseract]

dad-to-be!Daryl absolutely pampering reader. She's just started experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions and she's scared about the real deal happening soon, so Daryl takes it upon himself to help her relieve some stress. Bathing her, making her food—or, well, trying to—painting her nails with some nail polish he got from Maggie or someone, etc. just sweet Daryl all around.

Love you if you write this, love you if you don't! Don't feel pressured at all, love 💜

In This Together

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Summary: Starting to experience Braxton Hicks, your archer is more than adamant to be by your side.

Warnings: usual TWD stuff? fluff, pregnancy stuff, mentions of a injury and a fight, bit angst, protective!Daryl

Set in the beginning of Season 9!

Word Count: 3,3k

a/n: Here we are. Dad-to-be!Daryl! 🥰

Thank you SO much for sending me this, @dixons-sunshine ! I LOVED writing it! 🧡 I hope you don't mind that I, uh, drifted 'off-topic' a bit. The writing department in my brain just has its own mind... 🫣

EoH Masterlist °☆• Daryl Masterlist °☆• Masterlist

"So... This is nothing I have to be afraid of?" You asked hesitatingly; voice still thick with concern. Siddiq gave you a bright smile, which was a clear attempt to nip your worries in the bud. "No, Y/N, absolutely not. It's perfectly normal and important to experience Braxton Hicks. And besides it's an indication that my estimations are correct. You're about twenty-eight weeks along now, I'd say - in time frame for that to happen." You nodded; finding Siddiq's reassuring words truly helpful. "O-Okay... But there's nothing I can do about it, right?" "No, sorry. You just have to go through them." You gave the doctor another nod, "Alright..." and moved to sit up on the makeshift examination table; Siddiq immediately offering you a hand to help you up - which you gladly took. "Thanks." The man smiled at you once more and stood to his feet as well; placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Just remember, it's important for your body. It's practice." "Yeah," you answered; rubbing the back of your neck. "Won't change that Daryl's gonna be worried sick... Dunno if he knows what Braxton Hicks are." Siddiq chuckled; knowing exactly what you meant. He got to know the archer way better the past months, and knew what he was 'capable' of...

"Explain it to him like I did to you. He'll understand." "Mhm, yeah, gotta try." You offered the man opposite you a last smile, patting your thigh to gain the attention of your furry, four-legged friend and headed for the door; "Thanks, Siddiq!" Dog following close behind. "Sure thing, Y/N." The doctor watched you leave, before he returned to his work.

You made your way slowly back to the basement apartment you and the archer shared. It took you about two times longer now to head from the infirmary back home; due to the pregnancy and its side effects. Your feet were swollen and hurting, just like your back now and then. It could be quite frustrating from time to time, especially when your husband wasn't around to give you endless foot rubs and massages - just like at the moment. Daryl was stationed and working at the bridge since almost two weeks now... You missed him - a lot. The daily conversations over the walkie-talkie weren't just enough anymore.

Knowing he'd be away for at least a month, he left Dog with you; trusting the faithful canine to keep you safe. He did and seemed to understand exactly what his dad asked him to do. Dog was like glued to your side; never leaving. You thought it was adorable and utterly precious.

Closing the door of the basement behind yourself and Dog, you grabbed the walkie-talkie and plopped down on the sofa with a sigh. Since the sun had started to sink, you hoped that Daryl could spare some time for you now to talk. Sure, he always did, but you hated to keep him from important things. After all, he was an important figure in this whole construction Rick and everyone else had built over the years. Daryl wasn't 'just' a right-hand-man anymore... He was a leader - and you weren't just talking about the Sanctuary.

"Daryl?" You pressed the button of the radio and called out his name, before letting go of said button again; waiting for an answer. After a few moments of silence, you tried again. "Dar? You here?"

It took the archer another few moments to answer. "Yeah, 'm here," his slightly static voice suddenly sounded from the small device in your hands; giving you a little scare. "Sorry, sunshine. Been wantin' ta get away from that bridge first 'n into my tent." He paused for a short moment.

"Everything a'right with ya two?"

You smiled; already loving to hear his voice. Dog's ears perked up as well, before he quickly joined you on the sofa and snuggled against your left leg; head resting on your thigh. Your free hand immediately went to give the canine some well-deserved head scratches.

"Hey, baby. Yeah, we're good; just missing you..." An adorable grunt could be heard from the other end. "Don get me started on how much 'm missin' my girls."

Your heart clenched at his words; bottom lip wobbling dangerously. What you would give to curl up in his arms now...

Somewhat between a sob and a laugh was escaping your lips. "Baby, you gotta stop that, or you're gonna make me cry, what in return in going to make our munchkin even more sad." "Even more sad? Whaddaya mean?" Daryl asked; his attention falling on his unborn child in concern. You smiled sadly and started to absentmindedly caress your baby bump; letting go of Dog, who was dozing peacefully.

"She's very unsettled and... antsy. I can feel it. She kicks more than usually a-and well... I think it's because she misses her daddy. She's used to hear your voice, you know, and now it's not there. Over the radio isn't the real thing..."

All you could hear for quite a few moments from 'the other end of the line' was silence. You frowned and just opened your mouth to say something, when you heard his voice again. "'M comin' home," Daryl stated. Your eyes widened. That wasn't your intention... You knew that he had to stay. Rick needed him there, but his words were also so tempting... And the fact that he was willing to drop everything just to drive back to Alexandria in order to calm his unborn daughter caused your ovaries to explode.

But you knew better, unfortunately.

"No, Daryl. You gotta stay. Rick needs you." He scoffed. "But our munchkin needs me more..." Well, damn. That was actually the truth. Valid point. "I know, baby, but I got it, okay? It's only two more weeks..." "Yeah, 's two weeks too much," he grumbled in return. "I know, but look... After that is done you won't have to leave us again until the birth. Rick promised, remember?" Daryl sighed; remembering his brother's words.

You were sure you had convinced him with that; already celebrating your victory over his stubbornness internally, when your body decided to throw a wrench in the works... Hitting you with a Braxton Hicks contraction.

Of course, you didn't see it coming - how could you? And therefore left a loud hiss your lips, followed by a small, yet painful cry, before you were even able to stop it.

You knew right away that you were screwed now. That wasn't how you planned to tell him... Fuck.

"Y/N?!" His panicked voice instantly urged to your ears. And Daryl wasn't the only one worrying... Dog had woken from his sleep by your cry; ears perked. He was wincing and repeatedly nudging you with his wet snout.

"Y/N!" "I-I'm here, Daryl," you radioed back as soon as the mild contraction subsided. Taking a deep breath, your free hand returned to the canine curled up against your side; petting his fur. "I'm okay, Dog, I'm okay..." You reassured Daryl's animal companion.

"Wha' wrong?! Are ya in pain?! Please talk ta me, woman!" You swallowed; redirecting your attention back to your worried husband. "I'm good, don't worry. It's just... I, uh, started having Braxton Hicks..." "Braxton wha'?" "Braxton Hicks... Those are, um, mild contractions. It's something that occurs between the twentieth and thirty-fifth week of pregnancy. My body is, uh, practising for the birth," you explained; biting your lip, before quickly adding: "Siddiq says it's a good thing a-and perfectly normal."

There was silence on the other end for a long moment, before the click-clacking sound of the little device in your hand announced Daryl's voice again. "'M comin' home," he stated once more; now drop-dead serious. "Packin' my stuff right now."

Damnit...

"Baby..." "Nah. Ya ain't talkin' me outta this, Y/N. Yer in pain, havin' fuckin' contractions! 'M comin' home." You sighed; knowing that starting yet another 'discussion' would be most likely fruitless. You couldn't stop him. Not again. "Imma talk ta Rick first thing in the mornin' 'n leave as soon as I can." "I won't win another argument, will I?" "Nah, ya ain't."

You sighed again, but ultimately gave in. "Alright... I'll see you tomorrow then... Be safe and drive carefully, yes?" "Of course, sunshine. Don worry 'bout me. You stay safe, ya hear me?" "Promise." "Good. I love ya. Both 'a ya." "We love you, too."

With yet another sigh, you put the walkie-talkie aside; placing it on the small coffee table in front of you. You didn't want Daryl to cut this 'mission' short just because of a few cramps, but on the other hand, you couldn't deny that you looked forward now to see him again. Two weeks felt like ages.

You smiled; cupping your baby bump once more. "You heard that, munchkin? Daddy's coming home tomorrow."

Daryl had a hard time sleeping that night - naturally. He was way too worried, and therefore just decided to spend the rest of the night on watch; waiting for the sun to rise.

Once the other people in the camp had started their day as well and the place was literally bustling with members of all the various communities, the archer sought out his brother...

"Rick." Said man was currently talking to Cindy and Beatrice from Oceanside as Daryl approached. The former policeman's eyes travelled shortly to Daryl, before he ended his conversation with the two women and shifted his attention. Cindy and Beatrice passed Daryl by; giving the archer a nod, which he answered with a curt jut of his head.

"Mornin'," Rick greeted his brother; hands on his hips. "You good?" The leader was indirectly referring to the last remains of a fight his friend had with Justin - a Savior, few days prior. Daryl had clearly won that argument, but a very prominent cut above his upper lip was the price he had to pay.

The archer put Rick off; "'M fine." quickly dismissing the topic. "But we gotta talk." Rick nodded and gestured at the huge tent only a few yards away, in which everything else got usually discussed as well. Wordlessly, Daryl followed him; stepping through the flaps of the dark green tent.

"I gotta go back home." He didn't beat around the bush. Why should he? "Y/N's experiencin' those... fake contractions, 'n the baby's very restless; givin' 'er a hard time as well. She needs me," Daryl explained; biting the inside of his bottom lip. "I know ya need me 'ere too, 'n 'm sorry, but-" "Y/N and the baby are your priority, I know," Rick interrupted the archer and gave him a smile. "As it should be, Daryl. They're your family. Go home. We got this." He nodded; head lowered. "Thanks, man." Rick smiled once more and gave his brother a pat on the shoulder. "Be safe, yeah?" "Ya too."

Not even ten minutes later was Daryl kneeling beside his bike to strap his crossbow on the vehicle; ready to leave. The camp was bustling with people, and yet found him a specific pair of eyes...

"You're leaving?" Carol asked as she came to stand beside him; arms crossed over her chest. "Without saying goodbye? Shame on you." Daryl looked up, almost apologetically. "Yeah, 'm leavin'. Y/N needs me," he explained; getting to his feet. "But I was gonna say goodbye. I ain't jus' leavin' ya." A frown carved itself immediately in the woman's forehead. "Is everything alright? Y/N and the baby are fine, right?" The archer nodded. "Yeah, jus' some fake contractions 's all, but I wanna help 'er through this. 'Sides the lil' munchkin 's missin' me," he explained; shrugging his shoulders and moving to mount his bike.

Carol gave him a cheeky, yet happy smile. "I think you're the happiest I have ever seen you, you know that? It's good, pookie." "Pf," Daryl scoffed and grunted; couldn't stop his cheeks from reddening. "Stop." His best friend smiled even brighter. "No, 'cause it is a good thing. You deserve this. To be happy. You do." The smile he gave Carol then was nothing but sincere. He wasn't a man of much words, but the woman knew, of course.

Daryl started the engine and exchanged a last look with his best friend, before he drove off.

Since you knew that Daryl was returning sometime this morning, you decided to take on Michonne's watch. It took you all the convincing skills you had, but in the end gave your friend in. Some fresh air was always a good thing, right? And all you wanted was to see your husband approaching safely the gates.

You didn't know exactly how much time had passed, but you were pretty sure it had been a few hours, until you heard that familiar sound of an approaching motorcycle. Standing up from the comfortable camping chair Michonne had gotten up on the wooden tower only for you, you watched with a smile how Daryl drove up to the gates - which got immediately opened for him. The archer had seen you, of course. A short eye contact was enough to display the feelings exploding within the both of you. Especially happiness and love.

Well, it had been two long weeks...

Your husband drove past the gates; immediately turning off the engine and dismounting his beloved vehicle, while you moved to slowly climb down the wooden ladder - step after step. You were carrying precious cargo, after all. About halfway down, you suddenly felt two big palms settling firmly on your hips. "Careful, sunshine," the archer's deep, smokey voice urged to your ears. You smiled; his touch and voice sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. Planting both feet firmly on the ground again, you immediately turned to hug the man as tight as your baby bump allowed.

"Daryl...," you breathed; inhaling his scent and fighting the tears - kudos to your hormones. "Hey, sweetheart." He held you just as firm, before he pulled back to gaze concerningly in your eyes. "Wha' were ya doin' up there?" He nodded at the watch tower. "Waiting for you, of course." Daryl grunted in clear dislike. "Ya shouldn't be up there. 'S dangerous. 'Specially alone."

You appreciated and treasured his protectiveness, but in that very moment was the watch tower the last thing you thought about.

Rolling your eyes with a smile, you cupped your husband's cheek. "Shut up and kiss me." Daryl still wasn't entirely comfortable of displaying affection in public, even after all those years - what you didn't mind, of course, but in that very moment, he didn't give a fuck. The longing and the ache in his heart after having to be away from you for so long was taking over.

He grunted in fake annoyance, before he dipped his head to meet your lips halfway in a deep, longing kiss. "I missed you so much, Dar," you whispered against his lips and bestowed another sweet, short kiss upon them. "Missed ya, too, sunshine." You smiled; his cheeks still cupped by your hands, as your eyes roamed his handsome face. But your happy expression got quickly replaced by a frown as you noticed the small injury above his lips.

"Where did you get that cut, baby?" Daryl shook his head; hands squeezing your hips in a reassuring manner. "'S nothing, sweetheart. Jus' got in a fight a few days ago 's all." Your eyes darkened. "One of the Saviors?" He nodded. "Justin. He was bein' an asshole. Couldn't let tha' slip." You sighed; nodding. "Does it hurt?" Concern flamed up within you once again. "Nah. Not anymore."

You wanted to answer him, but another cramp shot through your lower abdomen; causing you to grimace. Daryl's grip tightened again on an instant. "Contraction?" "Y-Yeah..." You confirmed; luckily feeling the period cramp like pain subsiding again. "C'mon, sunshine. Let's getcha back home. 'M here fer ya two now. Ain't gonna leave again."

You weren't the only one being happy about Daryl's return. Dog was happy too; almost taking the bulky man off his feet with the force he threw himself on him; paws connecting with Daryl's broad chest. You only watched with a smile; hands supporting your baby bump.

Speaking of... The tiny girl living in your womb was ecstatic to hear her father's voice again. You could feel it. Once you had cuddled up with Daryl on the sofa, to catch up on the lost time of physical contact and conversations, you felt her move; recognising Daryl's voice and seemingly that the hands around her home weren't yours as well... Daryl was about to tell you about working at the bridge, when a tiny foot connected with the palm of his hand. "Was tha'...?" You giggled; nodding. "A foot, yep. She got super active within the last hour. She knows her daddy is back. Told you she missed you." A breathless laugh left your husband's mouth; his thumbs starting to caress the clothed skin of your stomach. "Hey in there, lil' munchkin. I missed ya too, ya know."

He received another strong kick in return.

"She's got bigger 'n stronger. I can tell." "Yeah? You think so?" You asked; turning your head to gaze at the archer over your shoulder. "Yeah. Can feel it. 'S different." You just smiled at him; loving how observing he was and cuddled further into his arms; enjoying every second of your reunion.

"Daryl?" You asked after a few minutes of pleasant silence. "Yeah?" You swallowed; picking at your nails. "Those Braxton Hicks I had the past days... They kinda, uh, gave me the creeps a little bit. I-I mean... I know now that the birth isn't very far away and that the real contractions will be way worse. That's... scaring." The archer nodded; biting the inside of his lower lip. "'M sorry 'bout that, sunshine.... Wish I could take tha' fear away, but... 'm afraid too. 'M scared of losin' ya or her, or hence even both 'a ya. But we gotta make this somehow, right? We're in this together. You 'n me. I ain't ever leavin' yer side."

To hear that Daryl had his fears as well was weirdly reassuring for you; knowing that you were truly not alone in this - in every aspect.

You laid your hands on top of Daryl's, which were still resting on your baby bump. "W-We gotta make it, yeah. You and me. Together." You felt Daryl nuzzling your neck; his goatee scratching your skin and his chapped lips aiming for a kiss. "Like we always do."

The following days and weeks were spent by the archer to help you through the Braxton Hicks contractions whenever you got hit by one, and through the pregnancy in general, of course. He was even more attentive and protective than in the beginning and was doing everything in his power to take away the stress and make you feel as comfortable as possible - which included pampering you. Endless foot rubs and back massages, running countless baths for you, getting you your latest craving - even in the middle of the night, and of course cooking food for you. The cooking wasn't always successful, but you loved the man for all the effort he put in. Daryl took you on walks around Alexandria regularly as well; making sure you'd get some fresh air. Certainly not outside the walls, but he'd accompany you everywhere you wished inside the walls.

Daryl even agreed on painting your nails, which ended in a mild disaster, but it definitely didn't fail to put a big smile on your face.

And when the tiny miracle inside you finally decided to see the light of the day and Daryl's hand was tightly locked with yours as you went through labour, you knew that everything would be alright, because you got Daryl and Daryl got you.

Tags: @angelwings-crossbowstrings @belitoxx @lou12346789 @fictive-sl0th @marvelcasey05 @loz-3 @mischief-dream @whore4romance @stitchintimefan @bigbaldheadname @making-the-most-0f-it @erebus-et-eigengrau @km-ffluv @0-aubrie0 @sweetz1919 @mikaela-granger @secretsicanthideanymore @dilfdixon @txtttttttttttttt @stiveroon @cakesandtom @mayday2007

[labwebs]

The world seemed to stop when the Green Goblin's mask revealed itself in Harry's hands. A moment where everything, everything shifted and rearranged. Suddenly every time he'd fought the Goblin had a new, horrific context. While it was true that he'd made a promise to himself to only ever use as much force as was necessary to incapacitate but not cause lasting harm, the fights against him had been increasingly brutal. Increasingly desperate on both sides even though Peter hadn't had a clue what they were actually fighting for unlike with other villains he'd tangled with in the past.

He'd hurt his best friend. Badly. Multiple times. And not had a single clue. The horror, shock, and guilt played plainly on his face. He couldn't hide that.

Peter could hear what Harry said after revealing the mask but only barely processed it- mind too busy racing to try and figure out what to do. What could he do? He wanted to be there for his best friend- to help him and to figure out what had happened. But knowing what was wrong and what had happened faced him with several impossible choices. None of them good.

As Jameson and others so often liked to remind everyone else, he'd never taken any sort of oath or vow like the police did. He had no legal duty to stop bad things from happening- just his own sense of responsibility and right that had been instilled in him by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben alongside the reputation that he'd gotten over the years of being someone that the city could turn to when it needed help. He knew this would be easier if he did have that duty- no question about what to do. But his own sense of morality? His own loyalties and concious? No. He'd not turn Harry in. That much he knew. Not like this. Not when he was coming to him for help.

He hated the idea of Dr. Octavius slowly loosing his ability to control his motor functions while trapped in a cell with nothing he could do about it, but that man had done so much harm both to him personally and the city at large. Harry... the Goblin had yet to act on that scale. And now Peter knew why. Sort of. And he wasn't going to make him pay the same price if he could help it. No. Not his best friend. They could make this right. He had to make this right. Harry coming to him and asking for help meant he was willing to stop, right?

"Harry, I-" he started before words failed him again. Was he willing to stop? If he told him his own secret now, what would happen? He knew what Peter cared about, who he cared about. Harry had met Miles and once he had one piece of the puzzle it probably wouldn't take long for him to put it all together. He knew the teen was more than capable of looking after himself and the people in his own life, but Peter still knew he'd personally go to the ends of the Earth to protect him like he was his own brother. And he felt that about Harry, too. Wanted- needed to help and protect them both alongside everyone else.

As much as honesty on his end could put thing in jeopardy, though, he couldn't see a way forward without it. Trusting, hoping that Harry was enough of the person he'd grown up with to see this as his own olive branch and not a threat. Reaching into his own pocket, he first disconnected the ear piece. Just in case something happened so he'd still have it to contact Miles and MJ. A deep breath. A metaphorical dive off a skyscraper. Trust in his friend... and in his own sense for danger. Peter showed Harry his own mask.

"I don't... I don't know what to say here, Harry. Other than I'm sorry."

'Why', Peter asked, but that was not what Harry focused on. Instead his mind latched on what he next revealed, about Octavius' goals once, or perhaps just in theory: living a relatively normal life, even with his diagnosis. It hadn't been common knowledge, no, but it was yet another unwelcome parallel, a quiet reminder that maybe they were not so different, the first villain Peter had considered a friend and now Harry. It might have been a chilling thought, if the whole conversation didn't have him on edge already. If Harry hadn't long accepted that this path would make something dark of him, even if he hadn't expected to look back and find out just how far from the line he'd ended up.

It was almost painful, to see the concern so clearly on his best friend's face. He was not so easy to threaten, not so easy to coerce. Not now, when he'd learned to wield fear in a way he'd once promised himself he never would.

What was he not telling him, Peter asked, and Harry thought that was not the question. What mattered was what he'd tell him instead. And yet, after all he'd revealed, there was little left to say. Chances were Peter already suspected, and Harry was tired.

So he breathed, then took off the earpiece he always wore, small and black and so very practical, and without looking at Peter just yet, he brushed his thumb over the the side of it. It took no more than a heartbeat before he was carefully holding his visor and mask instead, watching his reflection stare back at him evenly despite the way his heartbeat drummed in his chest.

It might be better if Peter learned it from Harry himself. It would not be painless.

And yet, before the silence stretched too long, Harry spoke again, not looking at his friend just yet. He couldn't bear to see the heartbreak -or worse, disgust- he expected to face.

"Last time I was in a battle, things went worse than usual." He admitted, quietly. "I had to flee, but I couldn't make it too far on my own. And then someone helped me. Selflessly, recklessly, because they couldn't know I wouldn't harm them." He exhaled. "But they helped me."

Another Peter, someone who had already lost a friend to a path that might have been so very like Harry's own.

"We talked. I think I needed it." He added. "And while this all seemed like the best idea at the time, the one that would get the least people hurt... Things have gotten out of hand, Pete." He admitted. "I fear I'm losing myself."

But it was this, or the clock ticking once again.

[restinslices]

Everything

PJO Show Ares x Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 2459

Summary: Ares supposedly hates kids, so it’s really strange that he comes when you call. (Do not let the summary fool you, this is not fluff. Based on a dream I had a couple days ago. Warning for possible ooc Ares and brief mentions of abuse. Blink and you’ll miss it type shit)

“I don't wanna say”, Grover fingers fidgeted with each other as he purposefully avoided eye contact with you. 

“We're friends, right?”

“Of course!”

“Then you have to tell me! You spoke to my father, I gotta know what he said! What was he like? I bet he was really cool! Man, I wish I could've been there and talked to him”, you looked down at your shoes and added more misery to your face than was necessary. It was extremely childish and petty but Grover kept refusing to tell you what your father Ares was like. You had to know though. You doubted he brought you up, but you still wanted to know what he said and what he was like when he was just out and about. Grover had the opportunity to have a long talk with him and that was something you'd kill and suffer for. 

“I doubt you'd wanna do that” he mumbled, but you heard him. 

“Why'd you say that?” You asked. 

Grover refused to expound on what he meant… at first. 

Everyone knew Grover couldn't hold water so it didn't take too much prodding before he spilled his guts. 

The memory replayed in your head more than you'd like to admit, and if it were up to you, you'd no longer be a half blood. 

It made you feel pathetic. Tons of gods- no. All the gods were shitty parents. After all, they had children with mortals and left the children on Earth, knowing they'd be hunted down. Plenty of half bloods died in a gruesome painful way and at a young age. Plenty of gods never claimed their children, even if they made it to Camp Half Blood. But Ares did claim you, so you assumed that that meant he cared for you in some way. He even gifted you with a double sided sword. Surely, he must've loved you. 

You were foolish and you hated how foolish you were. You should've known he didn't care. He left you here with mortals and watched as your home life got worse and worse which was due to multiple factors including a piss poor mother and step family, the aura children of Ares give off that makes people around them experience rage and of course the random monster attacks that your family blamed you for. It was as if they thought you begged Ares to be his child. As if you'd ever do something as stupid as that. 

The rain soaked through your hood, making your hair all wet and gross. You were an idiot. You tried coming home for the school year, thinking maybe your family changed. They said they did. They tended to lie a lot though. You got into a huge fight and stormed out and you were in such a hurry that you completely forgot to grab your pouch full of drachmas and you didn't wanna step another foot in that house. So now here you were, outside with freezing cold hands that couldn't be warmed because your hoodie was soaking and you couldn't call Chiron. Perfect.

You checked your pockets once again, hoping to find something other than the lighter and fruit roll up that was there but alas, nothing magically appeared. You held the two objects in your hand and an idea formed in your mind. 

You could always set the fruit roll up on fire as an offering. You could pray to your father and hope he hears you and sends you something to help. 

No. That's incredibly stupid. Could you even light a fruit roll up on fire? It didn't matter. Not only was that the stupidest offering ever but you refused to pray to him. You'd rather sleep out in the rain then sneak inside when your family was gone to get your shit. 

You put the two objects in your pocket and let your head rest on your knees, exhaustion hitting. It wasn't even physical exhaustion. It was all mental and emotional. Like a leech was sucking on you constantly. Or a vampire. You'd prefer that. At least you'd die quicker. 

The hum of a motorcycle filled your ears, getting closer and closer. Best case scenario, it was a neighbor. Worst case scenario, it was a murderer. Honestly, you'd welcome both. 

The hum stopped and a familiar voice made you look up, “rough night”. 

It was him. Ares. God of war. Father to who knew how many. It was someone you definitely did not want to see… or so you thought. Part of you absolutely despised him now and everything to do with him and wanted to rip him apart. The other part of you though still felt an immense amount of joy when you saw him and you wanted to cling to him like a child clings to its favorite toy. If you were alone, you would've screamed. 

Then a thought crossed your mind. You didn't burn anything. You didn't make an offering. 

“You were going to” he said, seeming to read your mind. 

“Why are you here?” you managed to get out after some time of just staring at him. 

“Why do you think I'm here?” he asked and you could tell by his tone he meant it sarcastically. Like “the reason is so obvious. Stop being stupid”. 

Something about that sarcastic and irritated tone made you think back to what Grover told you. 

“Why don't you like me?” You asked and you hadn't meant to. It was supposed to stay in your head. 

He squinted his eyes at you and looked you up and down, “what?”. 

You could've let it go. You could've said nevermind, thanked him and let him help. You couldn't though. You didn't know when you'd have this chance again (the camp visited them but damn, there was a lot of you) and if you did something to make him not like you, you wanted to fix it. But that wasn't your job, right? Parents are supposed to care for their kids. 

You did that a lot. Your mind juggled opposite thoughts and it drove you insane. This was just the latest bit of juggling you'd been doing. 

“Grover said he spoke to you-”

“Who is Grover?”

“Percy's friend. The satyr”. A look of anger flashed in his eyes. You knew he remembered Percy. You didn't give him time to start yelling about the 12 year old that beat him in a fight. “Grover said that he spoke to you. I asked what it was like and he said that you said that you hate kids. Even your own. And when we visit, it's the worst day of the year. So, I was just wondering why you don't like me. Is it something I've done?”. 

Ares just rolled his eyes and sighed, “you're taking that personal?”. 

“It's kinda hard not to”. 

“I came to take you back to camp, not talk about whatever crisis you're having right now”. 

You didn't know if you were angry because of what he said, or because of his effect on others. Either way, blood started rushing to your head. “I'm not asking for a lot. I'm asking for an answer. A simple answer. Why don't you like me?”

“I don't like any of my kids”

“And that makes it better?” You asked in disbelief. Ares just stared at you, emotion void on his face. 

“Why do you do this? You keep having kids even though you hate them. Why?”. 

“It's not that simple and I don't have to explain anything to you”. You wished he'd show emotion. Any sliver of it. He was too calm, too numb. You'd prefer him yelling at you but nothing seemed to phase him. He was talking to you the same way you'd talk to a toddler. 

“It is incredibly simple. Just stop having sex with mortals. You already have Aphrodite -who is a married woman but whatever-” you rushed the last part. You didn't particularly care for the affairs between the gods. “How could your eyes possibly wander?”. 

Seeing him show a sliver of anger when you mentioned Aphrodite only filled you with more rage. That’s what angered him? That’s what got emotion out of him? “Really? That's what gets you? What about me being drenched?”

“You chose to come out here” he said through gritted teeth. If you knew Aphrodite was the key to him showing any piece of human emotion, you would've brought her up earlier. 

“I didn't choose this!” Your voice rose, “I didn't choose to be abandoned by my father and be stuck with a dysfunctional family for the rest of my life. You should be angry at that, not me mentioning Aphrodite. You should be enraged at the thought of anyone putting their hands on me and your hands should be covered in their blood! That is how it should be”. 

“Believe it or not the gods aren't too keen on the idea of killing mortals”

“But turning them into various objects and ruining their lives when it's a boring Tuesday is ok?”. His face went back to being blank and emotionless and your plan to stop talking was scrapped. You weren't even sure what you wanted. You wanted him to show something besides anger. Sadness? Regret maybe? Just something to show that maybe, just maybe, he cared deep down and regretted leaving you. 

“None of us asked for this. You all just decide to create and leave us. And you hating the people you created is… I don't know. And it's so stupid that I've spent years of my life trying to get you to be proud of me, only for it to be impossible!”. 

“I claimed you didn't I?” he defended himself, but you scoffed. 

“That's the bare minimum dad! That's like saying your kids should be grateful because you feed them!” You were full on screaming by now and you wouldn't have been surprised if a neighbor came out to see what the fuss was about. “I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with you. You probably hate being called 'dad’ and you don't care. You're never gonna get it”

“I try everyday to make you see me and you do everything in your power to not see me. To not see any of us. I would work myself to death for you. I would betray anyone close to me for you. If you asked me to burn down the world for you, I would. If you asked me to extinguish the sun, I'd find a way to because to me… to me you were everything. You are everything”. 

You couldn't tell if your face was wet from the rain, or from tears of sorrow and anger. It could've been both. Your eyes certainly stung and you hated it. You knew you had every right to be frustrated, but you hated how weak it made you feel. The children of Ares weren't supposed to cry. They were supposed to be headstrong and fight their enemies. They were supposed to be fierce warriors capable of bringing armies down to their knees. They were meant to shed blood, not tears. 

You thought for a second you saw an emotion cross his face. You couldn't pinpoint it though. It happened too fast and there was a good chance you were imagining things. 

“You can go. I'd rather sleep in the rain. I wouldn't wanna be even more of a burden” you spat with such venom you didn't know it was possible. Sure, you could have a bit of a temper but this felt different. It wasn't just anger or annoyance. There was a mix of grieving. 

It went silent for awhile, and the adrenaline you felt slowly went down. Reality started to sink in. You just yelled at a god. People who were known to cause destruction for something as small as “I think my shoes are better than yours”. 

“Are you gonna curse me? Or, I don't know, strangle me with my own shoe laces?”. Ares reached into his pocket and you looked away and closed your eyes. You expected to feel a burning sensation. That's what you assumed being cursed was like. A burning sensation and then you'd lose a limb or something. 

All you felt was something land on your lap. You looked down and saw a red pouch with gold string keeping it closed. You looked up at him, but he didn't say anything. You untied the string and opened the pouch and inside laid a pile of drachmas. 

Now he spoke, “call Chiron or whoever else works at that camp. Don't die out here”. 

“You're leaving?” You asked. You didn't know why you were disappointed. You should've been happy. After all, you just went off on him about how shit he was. 

“I have a busy schedule”. You wanted to ask if he'd be seeing the married woman he slept with or another unfortunate mortal, but you figured you pushed your luck enough today. 

“Thanks uhh…” you debated on calling him dad but instead you called him by his name. “Ares”. Then you remembered some gods could be particularly upset when you used their name. “God of war and all those other honorifics”. 

“Yeah” was all he said before he sped off, leaving you alone once again. You didn't know what he was saying “yeah” to but you didn't have enough time to ask and he probably wouldn't even answer. 

You called Chiron and asked to be brought back to camp but you didn't tell him about the conversation you had with Ares. 

You couldn't get the conversation out of your head, even after you showered and laid down to finally get some rest. 

Of course you kept thinking about the conversation and how lucky you were Ares didn't throw you into the street and run you over. 

Another thing stayed on your mind though. 

You didn't give an offering. You were told the gods would listen if you burned something that mattered, like the thickest piece of meat on your plate. You weren't sure they were actually listening and honestly you thought it was a real asshole condition. 

All you had was some stupid candy and you didn't even burn that and the minute you thought about it, he appeared like he was already watching. 

But you doubted he was watching. You doubted he listened to your prayers at all. 

You were one of his children which was something he hated. He'd claim you, possibly send a gift then be done with you. He didn't listen to you anymore. He didn't watch over you anymore. 

It was a coincidence. That's all it was. 

You were sure of it. 

At least, you tried to be. 

This is definitely ooc Ares but YA’LL KNOW I’M A LITTLE FUCKING SLOW! BE PATIENT WITH ME GOTDAMMIT😭 If you saw any errors, no you did not. I already proofread it once and I don’t feel like doing it again like I typically do. It’s 1am. I should be asleep.

[yuri-is-online]

(Scatters more Aceyuu birdfeed for the lovelies)

Imagine, when Yuu awoke in Twisted Wonderland, they didn't even have their own clothes--they were in the ceremonial robes--at best they're (probably) given a janitors uniform from Crowly when they first meet Ace. Fast forward a day or so when Ace decides to camp out at Ramshackle for the first time and he really sees your situation. You're not some nutjob and their badly trained pet who broke into the school, you are in trouble.

Cut to Ace finally moving back into his dorm after Riddle's overblot and Ace is going through his stuff (to make sure his roommates didn't mess with it) and he finds like, an old pair of pyjamas he doesn't really wear anymore. This shirt is pretty outdated fashion-wise too. And he has no idea why he packed this pair of shorts for school either! They could go to a good home, he supposed, before bunging his unwanted hand-me-downs in a bag and setting off back to Ramshackle. Trying to ignore the first signs of a pitter-pattering heart as he watches your face light up with realisation when you pull out his old clothes from an old sports bag. He knew you needed clothes but seeing how much this meant to you? Yeah, Ace is gonna be doing all sorts of things to take care of you now to keep that smile. And don't get me started about how he got butterflies the first weekend he went to see you and you were wearing his (ill-fitting) clothes!

After Book 4, Ace has another suitcase of "charity clothes" from home (if Yuu is fem presenting, then he might've asked his mum for her hand-me-downs so Yuu would have some more "girly" clothes, if that's what they want) only to come up short when going to deliver them too you as he sees Deuce wrapping his old leather jacket around your shoulders, or Jack giving you an old cardigan that you're just swimming in.

He can't help but feel betrayed, in a way, seeing you accept clothes from your other friends. Logically speaking, he knows you're not in a position to be turning down charity, but the sting of losing what felt like just a you two thing hurts. He's sulking and petty and got this stupid suitcase sitting in his room for weeks while he pouts, glaring daggers at Deuce for the betrayal (Deuce is just confused, he was just helping a homie stay warm since there's snow on the ground. Jack is at least aware of the connotations but likes returning the shit Ace sends his way).

Eventually it bubbles up to one day, when the group are studying in Heartslaybul, Deuce forgot his noted in his room and Yuu offers to grab them, noticing the suitcase they bring it up to the guys and Ace squirms as Deuce mentions how Ace brought it after winter break and hasn't touched it since. Everyone badgers him for what's in it and Ace won't admit it infront of everyone else there, you gotta get him alone so later on, Yuu broaches it again and he admits its more clothes but he felt stupid seeing you get more from everyone else (he plays it off like "didnt want you swamped with stuff you didn't want" or something) but Yuu perks up, asking what he brought and if he still wants to give them to them. Maybe accidentally admitting they still mostly only use Ace's old pj's because it smells like him because his stuffs just more comfy and they like his stuff more.

Something something small fashion show for Ace something something this got a lot longer than I intended uwahhhh.....

If Ace could go back in time he'd probably punch himself for all the comments he made before he started using his goddamn brain and LOOKED at your situation he would, but he can't so he instead does what Ace does best and looks out for you while pretending he's not doing that at all and does not care.

But the problem is of course that Ace does care. You open the door in his clothes and it really doesn't matter what you're saying anymore. He's forgotten why he's here, actually, instead there's a hum in the back of his skull that he likes. He likes seeing you in his pajamas, he likes spending time with you. Ace will never say it out loud, in fact he denies it every chance he gets, but he likes spending time with you and Deuce. The other first years are fun, and he likes the basketball club, but the two of you are the best use of his time. He doesn't even think about the others maybe wanting to help you out because he's the one who takes care of you. Not Deuce or Jack, him. Maybe he spends winter break thinking about you and going through his things. Maybe he has to hype himself up as he takes his duffel bag back because his mom teased him just a little too much about things running in the family.

Deuce giving you a leather jacket breaks something in him. Ace thought Deuce would have been drowning in attention based on the bad boy appeal alone and that jacket just cements it, even if the blank look his glares get sort of soothes the jealous ache somewhat. "Don't be rude Ace! No one likes having to rely on hand me downs-" Juice is so fucking stupid he doesn't know why he bothered being jealous. Jack's a different story though because on the one hand he "hates" the idea of appearing vulnerable but on the other hand there is a chance to dunk on Ace just waiting to be taken and that has to make up for temporary embarrassment. He could probably get Leona in on this too if he spins it the right way, wouldn't that be funny? Fine, Ace will just keep his things to himself since you... probably don't want them huh. Yeah, sure he swears you always wear his pajamas but that's because you don't have other clothes. You've got stuff now you don't need him. He's not the only person taking care of you... oh well!

When Yuu asks him about the suitcase he plays it off. "Just some extra stuff, you know. Parents am I right?" When everyone leaves he teases you about it because he's embarrassed and he needs to take it out somewhere.

"You really thought of me?" There's a look on your face that renders Ace speechless. "Thank you... I. You really didn't need to but if you have something similar to the pajamas..." You were wearing the shorts tonight. Come to think of it he hasn't seen you in Jack's shirt much. Deuce's jacket was meant to protect against the snow so it's not like he can

"You can have it." He mumbles, looking off to the side instead of into your eyes. "It's not like they weren't meant for you I just forgot about it you know?"

Maybe he'll buy you something next time, no one's done that yet right?

[touchlikethesun]

okay okay okay, but we need to talk about the name etymologies of the four central characters of haikyuu!! because it is literally impossible to talk about it too much. first let's break down all the kanji in their family names!

(sidenote: all of the translations were pulled from wikitionary, so if any of the meanings are actually egregiously incorrect, pls lmk!!)

影　kage - shadow 山　yama - mountain 口　guchi - mouth 月　tsuki - moon 島 shima - island 日　hi - sun 向　nata - direction

adding a readmore because this got so much longer than i intended it to be

so some of these are talked more about in the fandom than others. i think it's practically common knowledge (if it isn't, well now you know) that the first kanji of hinata's name (日) means "sun" and the first kanji of tsukki's name (月) means "moon," and that this was done on purpose to highlight their roles in the story as foils and as a sun and moon analogy. tsukki and hinata are quite literally polar opposites in their approach to volleyball (they are, one might say, like night and day). tsukishima with his physical advantage yet reluctance to try too hard compared with hinata's overwhelming physical disadvantage and his willingness to go above and beyond, to the point that he can't even fathom how not to give 110% at all times. (there's so much more to say about this symbolism but i'll leave it there, gotta stay focused rip).

the first kanji in kageyama's name (影) meaning "shadow" i feel like most people are aware of as well, this symbolises his general mood (sorta a comparison with tsukishima too imo, darkness and the moon etc., but that's quite subtle), and again this furthers his parallel with hinata, juxtaposing light and darkness, but the kanji for yama (山) which we find in both kageyama and yamaguchi's name, means mountain, which represents both reliability and strength. this works for both kageyama and yamaguchi in different ways. from day one at karasuno, all of the team members can count on kageyama to perform, be it setting, serving, receiving, he is all around the uncontested best player on the team, and serves as the base for nearly all of their strategies. yamaguchi doesn't have the same dependability in terms of athletic performance (at the start of the series), but in a lot of ways he is a grounding force in among the first years, and in his relationship with tsukki he is very much a needed support, tsukishima depends on yamaguchi for... god for so much actually.

and then there's the second kanji in tsukishima's name (島)... meaning "island," it is very clearly meant to represent the isolation tsukki both feels and imposes on himself at the start of the series. i also think it's of note that an island is opposed to a mountain - both are large(-ish) landmasses but the mountain is connected to the rest of the land while an island is all alone...

the individual kanji all have a lot of symbolism going on but when you put some of them together, i think you get a new significance...

日向　hinata - the direction sun in shining 影山　kageyama - the dark side of the mountain 山口　yamaguchi - the mountain’s opening (or mouth maybe cave?) 月島　tsukishima - moon island

to get them out of the way, the compound meanings of tsukishima and yamaguchi don't seem very narratively significant, but i am more than open to analyses you might have that i didn't think of! :)

however hinata and kageyama seem poetic to me in a way that i don't think is accidental. i did take some liberties with the phrasing (kageyama could also be written as "the mountain's shadow"), but it doesn't change the overwhelming symbolism. the dark side of the mountain is obviously juxtaposed with the light side, but how do you create a shadow? well the sun has to shine on something... the direction of hinata's sun shining on the kageyama's mountain making the shadow... i admit i might be reaching with this one. but i like it.

initially, i had only planned to look into their family names, but after finding so much symbolism, i though why not look into their given names and boy oh boy am i glad that i did~

飛　tobi - flight, fast, high 雄　o - something large powerful and masculine (yang) 翔　sho - soar 陽　yo - alt. the sun, positive, (yang!!!!) 蛍　kei - derived from firefly 忠　tadashi - loyal, devoted, faithful

where do i even begin i legit have tears in my eyes okay, first things first, kei has always been my favourite name in all of haikyuu, i just like how it sounds, i think it's so pretty, and in looking up the meaning of the kanji i've grown to love it even more. as a masculine name, 蛍 is pretty rare, it's more commonly used for female names and the most common reading isn't kei it's hotaru. i like that tsukishima has a relatively unique first name, but what really gets me is the etymology. the kanji 蛍 is the same kanji for firefly, and when the kei pronunciation is used, it means fluorescent. i absolutely love this for tsukishima, because we are being given two different messages with his family name and his given name. on the one hand, his family name would have us believe that tsukki is like the moon, only able to be seen at night and only capable of reflecting the lights of others, but his given name tells us that, while it might be a soft glow, tsukki does have a light of his own, he is in fact able to shine by himself.

compared to 蛍, 忠 is a much more common given name, meaning loyal or devoted. i think sometimes people misunderstand the dynamics between tsukishima and yamaguchi, so please don't take this as me saying something i'm not, but tadashi really is loyal to kei in a very special way, and this is clearly something that furudate wanted to highlight, as this is not the only time he's made reference or used symbolism for tadashi's loyalty to kei. i do think that this devotion extends past tsukki too, and tadashi's loyalty is another part of what makes him such an important part of karasuno (and eventual team captain).

now. for the big ones. i really hope people are still reading because i saved the best for last just because i know i'll collapse into a puddle of tears once i finish typing this section out

if you look at tobio and shouyou's names individually, they do fit them very well; 飛 (tobi) being the kanji for flight ties kags to the sport of volleyball, and the alt meaning of height i think references how high he is going to aim for and eventually reach, and 雄 (o) symbolising something powerful and masculine i think does fit kags' vibe. likewise, 翔 (sho) forshadows hinata's jumping abilities and his bird-like nature, and 陽 (yo), a kanji that has sooo many potential meanings, among which are sun and positivity, further underscores hinata's sun symbolism and his optimistic outlook. astute readers might have already noticed, the first kanji of tobio's name (飛) and the first kanji of shouyou's name (翔) have very similar meanings, one might even go as far to say that they are synonyms. both kags and hinata learn to fly at karasuno together, and they both aspire to the same upwards trajectory, literally in the game for hinata, and figuratively in their careers as pro volleyball players, and this similarity is underscored by the similarity in the meanings of the first kanji of their given name. but the kicker, the last kanji of their given names, 雄 (o) and 陽 (yo) not only sound similar, but they both are kanji that can be used to write yang as is yang, the opposite of yin! shouyou and tobio's names are literally synonyms of one another!! for all the differences apparent in their family names, their given names are literally the same name just a different font and i absolutely love it so much, because we spend so much time talking about how different hinata and kageyama are but part of the reason that they click and clash the way that they do is that they are so similar to one another in ways that they aren't like anyone else, it's what makes their rivalry and their partnership as strong as they are and it's so so so important to remember that these boys are always on the same wavelength!! clearly we're meant to think like this, since furudate chose these as their names...

one last little note, it might be hard to tell if (like me) you aren't used to reading caligraphy, but the same kanji in tobio's name is the kanji on karasuno's banner: 飛

so just in case there was any doubt as to where tobio belongs. his name is literally on karasuno's banner i can't i can't i can't

[maximoffcarter]

Now that you're here.

Pairings: Alex Cabot x reader.

Summary: Anxiety and insomnia were two of the things that kept Alex Cabot awake at night. Sometimes pills had to be her comfort to be able to sleep through the night; that was until she met reader.

A/n: This was requested by an anon, Alex having a hard time sleeping until she meets reader. I gotta admit that I love writing Calex but also reader inserts are comfort for me haha. Don't be afraid to send me an ask or message if you got any requests, I'm up for anything for now. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblog, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

“Alex, you look like crap.” Olivia said as Alex walked into the precinct, a bit of concern behind her words.

Alex looked at her with a raised brow. “You sure know how to compliment a woman.”

“Sorry.”

Alex sighed as she shook her head. “Sorry, didn’t actually get a good night sleep. What do you have for me?”

It was known that Alexandra Cabot was devoted to her job. She could stay hours in her office without a problem, as unhealthy as it was. She basically only got home to ‘sleep’, take a shower, and have some sort of food, whatever she could find really. She barely knew what free days were, not wanting to skip any work day in case they really needed her. But she was also conscious of how this affected her physically and emotionally, it could be draining, but there was nothing a couple of pills couldn’t do for her -also very unhealthy-. Today, she had been called to the precinct for some advice, frustrated as she figured they had nothing she could work with and she just wasted time in walking all the way here, almost running out of the building as she had some arraignments she had to get to. The day had felt so long and draining, she felt exhausted to the point where she could literally drop asleep in any place, but knew that once she was home, there was no way she was going to sleep.

So after leaving her office, she opted for stopping by a small bar that was near her apartment. The thought of a good scotch drink made her feel a bit more relaxed. It was a Tuesday, so of course the bar would be almost empty, which also was to her favor as she really didn’t feel like dealing with drunk people. As she sat down, she noticed a girl who sat just two seats away from her. Alex could definitely move to another seat, but she just wanted the drink so badly that she didn’t really care. As she ordered the drink, she couldn’t help but study the mentioned girl; she was wearing scrubs which meant she was either a nurse or she worked in the health area, her head was in a ponytail, some hair all over the place, but still cute. The girl was entranced in her drink, just staring at it.

“Hard day?” Alex said before she could even figure out that the words were coming out of her mouth. She was supposed to enjoy a drink or two and then leave, but now there was the possibility that she just engaged herself into conversation.

The girl looked up and her eyes fell on Alex, offering a tired smile. “You could say so.” She raised her brow as she noticed the drink. “Guess it was for you too?”

Alex scoffed, nodding, and taking a sip of her drink. “You could say so.” She grinned as she turned to look at the girl again.

The girl huffed a chuckle, turning her body to face Alex. “Judging by your drink and clothes…I dare to say you’re a lawyer?” She raised her brow.

Alex grinned as she nodded. “Is it that obvious?”

The girl shrugged. “Just a bit.”

Alex raised her brow. “And judging by your drink and clothes, I dare to say you’re a nurse?”

“Is it that obvious?.” She smiled softly and extended her hand. “Y/n.”

Alex chuckled as she took her hand. “Alex.”

They held each other’s hand for a little longer than expected, just staring into each other’s eyes. Y/n couldn’t help but get lost in those baby blue eyes, Alex was beautiful, she was sure she was the most beautiful girl she has ever seen in her life, and she sees a lot of people every single day. As for Alex, she felt attached to her, something called her in and she couldn’t help but study every single feature of y/n, even with the tiredness in her face, she looked beautiful. They finally let go of their hands and giggled quietly, their eyes going back to their drinks.

“Done with your shift or you’re heading there?” Alex decided to speak again, looking back at y/n.

Y/n sighed in relief. “Done with my shift. Almost 20 hrs cause I needed some extra hours. And drinking is not allowed before a shift.” She grinned as she looked back at Alex. “What about you? Done with…court?”

Alex chuckled as she nodded. “Yes. We don’t really do court that late, though. Just paperwork and preps.” She smiled.

“Private lawyer or…?”

“Assistant District Attorney. I work for Special Victims.”

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled. “So you know Liv.”

Alex raised her brows at the name and nodded. “I do. You know her too?”

“They call me in whenever they have a victim. I mostly work ER, so.” Y/n smiled. “So now I know the famous attorney they always mention.”

Alex shrugged and grinned. “Nice to meet you.” She chuckled.

What was supposed to go for half an hour or an hour, turned to three hours. Alex had said a drink or two would be enough, but now she was involved in conversation with y/n, which she did not mind at all because she was enjoying this more than she expected. She wasn’t one to give up information about what she did or anything about her life, but as y/n started talking about her life, she felt safe to talk about hers too. It wasn’t all work, it was also things they did out of work, which in Alex’s part, she really didn’t have much to talk about since her whole life was work but listening to y/n talk was enough for her.

After the last call, both women decided to take a walk in direction to their apartments. Alex knew she had to grab a taxi at some point, but she didn’t want the night to end even if she had an early morning. Y/n kept going on about some work thing, and Alex just stared at her the whole time. They finally got to a corner and in front of a building, Alex sure this is where y/n lived, and they stood there, smiling at each other.

“Here is my stop.” Y/n turned to look at Alex. “Thanks for keeping me company.” She smiled softly.

Alex smiled. “I should say the same. Sorry I kept you until late.”

“It was worth it.” Y/n blushed as her words left her mouth, she cleared her throat and then looked in her backpack, getting a small notebook and a pen. “You can throw it away or do what you please with it but…here’s my number.” She then gave her a small paper and smiled. “If I don’t answer, it’s not because I’m avoiding or ignoring you. I’m working.”

Alex giggled as she grabbed the paper and stared at it for a moment before she looked up. “Noted.”

“I’ll see you around, Alex. Be safe.” Y/n smiled.

Alex saw y/n get into the building and turning to say a final goodbye to Alex before she disappeared. Alex stood there for a bit more, playing the evening in her mind and smiling. After all the stress and tiredness, the least she had expected was to meet someone at a bar and staying with her for hours just talking and laughing. Definitely worth the tiredness for the morning.

********************

Alex groaned as she took off her glasses, putting them on her desk and then groaning as she rubbed her eyes. Not only was she tired, but she was frustrated. The trial hadn’t gone as she expected, there was still a chance to win but at this point, her options were limited and the only thing she could do was push through it and try her best. She was also frustrated because she had to cancel on y/n last minute, her desk flooded with paperwork that she needed to finish, so she had to call y/n to cancel.

After that night at the bar, Alex couldn’t help and she called y/n the next day, while she was at her office doing paperwork she had called y/n and they had a conversation for a whole hour, and before saying goodbye, Alex had asked her out. The date went smoothly, and it had been better than they expected. For a whole month, they tried to go out every week, but today that was not possible. She had enjoyed every minute she spent with y/n, her day being a lot better just by seeing her, even if she had not much to say, she could listen to y/n over and over again. She looked at her watched and sighed, it was pass 10:30 pm and she was nowhere near finishing. She looked down at her paperwork and was about to dive in again, but a knock on her door startled her, making her look up at her door.

“Y/n?”

Y/n smiled softly as she leaned over the door frame. “Hello, counselor.”

“What are you doing here?” Alex smiled, moving her hand to let y/n know it was okay to come in.

“Well, since a pretty girl canceled our date today, I thought maybe I could show up in her office with some takeout. Cause I’m pretty sure she has not had any food all day.” Y/n walked to the desk, raising her brow as she looked at Alex. “I took the liberty of ordering Chinese, hope you don’t mind.” She showed the bags she had in her hands and smiled.

Alex felt her heart beating a bit faster as she listened to y/n, smiling softly. “Any food sounds amazing. Thank you.” She stood up and moved to the small table beside her desk, followed by y/n. They both sat down, and Alex then looked at her confused. “I have a suspicion on how you got into the building, but how did you know where my office was?”

“I’m not gonna confirm or deny that I had to stop by every floor to find it.” Y/n grinned as she got the food out.

Alex furrowed her brows. “You didn’t.”

“Baby, I asked the guard.” Y/n chuckled softly.

Alex blushed softly at the pet name, grabbing the boxes that y/n handed her. “Right. Sorry, my mind is kind of screwed at this point.” She looked at y/n and smiled. “I’m glad you came here.”

Y/n smiled. “My pleasure. I wanted to see you, and if this is my chance to see you, then I’ll take it.”

Alex tried to hide the big smile she had on her face and looked down at the box of food she had in her hands, grabbing some sticks and started eating. They ate in silence for a moment until they started talking about their days, Alex complaining about the trial and then the whole paperwork, and y/n talking about her day at the hospital. There was a moment where Alex went back to paperwork just to finish up and y/n stayed there reading a book and finishing her food. Every now and then, they look at each other without them noticing, time to time they’d lock eyes and just smile, trying to hide their smiles. Alex felt like a teenager, both doing their homework or studying and just keeping each other company, looking at each other and then going back to it. But even then, she felt happy.

Pass midnight, Alex finally said she was done, grabbing what she needed to take home and cleaning up their empty boxes of food. Unconsciously, as they left the office and waited for the elevator, Alex grabbed y/n’s hand and intertwined their fingers, only noticing once they were inside the elevator. She turned to look at y/n, who was already looking at her with a smile on her face. Once they walked out of the building, they kept walking hand in hand, talking about everything and nothing at some point. After walking a few blocks, they were waiting for the green light to cross the street and that’s when Alex turned to look at y/n.

“Would you like to come over? To…my apartment?” Alex bit her lip as she looked at y/n.

Y/n smiled softly. “I’d like that.” She whispered softly.

Alex smiled, noticing the light was green and they crossed the street. At some point, Alex decided it’d be quicker if they called a cab, so they did. Alex never let go of y/n’s hand, sitting close to each other in the cab and just looking out the window, the silence was comfortable, something both women were growing into. Once in Alex’s building, they went into the elevator and waited for the doors to close. Alex just stared at the doors for a moment, until she felt y/n’s hand on her cheek and the next thing she knew, her face was getting turned in y/n’s direction and she felt a pair of soft lips on hers. Alex gasped quietly, but right after, her free hand went to y/n’s waist, pulling her closer as she kissed her back. The kiss was slow and sweet, with a hint of passion in it, nothing either of them had experienced before. They had shared cheeks kisses while saying goodbye, but Alex was too shy to kiss her properly, so to say she was thankful that y/n kissed her, it was an understatement. y/n broke the kiss and Alex tried to follow her to keep kissing her, opening her eyes as she heard y/n giggling.

“What are you laughing at? You kissed me.” Alex grinned.

“I did. But you’re cute.” Y/n smiled as she pecked her lips. “I’m sorry if I didn’t ask, I just been thinking about kissing you for so long.”

Alex smiled. “I have too, but I was shy.”

“You’re welcome.” Y/n chuckled and just as she was leaning in again, the doors of the elevator opened.

Alex pulled her quickly out of the elevator and walked to the end of the hallway until they were at Alex’s door. As soon as they were in, Alex turned to look at y/n but before she could do anything, y/n had the same thought as Alex and she placed her hands on Alex’s waist, pushing her against the door, her lips attaching to Alex’s in a heated kiss. At some point they kicked the bags off onto the floor, not really minding where they landed. Alex moaned softly as her hands went to y/n’s hair, her hips thrusting into y/n’s as she tried to get her impossibly closer to her. y/n pulled away for some air, but soon enough started kissing Alex’s chin and went down to her neck, biting and licking every inch of skin she found. Alex threw her head back, giving her a bit more access to kiss her.

“W-We should move to my bed.” Alex moaned out as she looked down at y/n.

Y/n looked up at Alex and grinned. “Okay.” She pulled away from Alex and took off her coat, Alex doing the same thing and grabbing both of them to put them on the rack beside her door.

Alex took y/n’s hand and pulled her to her room, as soon as the door was open, she turned to kiss y/n again, her heartbeat racing as y/n’s hand found the buttons of her shirt and she started undoing them. Alex pulled away for air, looking at y/n as she panted. Her hand stroked her cheek for a moment, her fingers then moved to y/n’s chin to make her look up.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Alex asked softly.

Y/n smiled softly, her heart pounding on her chest at the questions. “I’m sure. Are you?”

Alex smiled as she nodded. “I do.” She lost no time and went back to kiss her, her hands landing on y/n’s shirt.

********************

Alex woke up to the sun hitting her face, she forgot to move the curtains when she got home so now the sun was in a part of her room. She stretched a little and groaned as she moved, only to feel that she had no clothes on her and the only thing covering her was her blanket. She took a moment to register what happened the night before, and it clicked when she turned to look at a sleepy and naked y/n beside her. She smiled softly as she remembered the night before. Not wanting to get up yet, she laid on her stomach and faced y/n, her smile never fading away as she studied every single feature in her face.

Then her mind started wandering and she almost gasped at the realization that she had slept the whole night. It could’ve meant nothing, but she had been having a lot of trouble sleeping because of the cases they’ve had, her anxiety being present every single night making her have insomnia. But tonight she had slept, and she felt relaxed and rested, she could get used to this. She closed her eyes for a bit, not feeling like moving or doing anything at all. But then she felt the bed moving, she could hear y/n groaning softly and she couldn’t help but grin. She kept her eyes closed, the grin never leaving her face which gave her up, y/n knowing she was awake.

Y/n moved close to Alex and kissed her naked shoulder softly. “Morning.” She whispered.

“Morning.” Alex finally opened her eyes and looked at y/n, smiling.

“How long have you been awake?” Y/n laid her head back down on the pillow as her hand made patterns on Alex’s back.

“Not too long. I just didn’t feel like moving. Though I know my phone will go off anytime soon.” Alex chuckled.

Y/n smiled. “And I need to get home to change. My shift starts at 2 pm.”

“Why don’t you shower here?”

Y/n grinned as she raised her brow. “With you?”

Alex realized the insinuation of her question, she didn’t mean it like that, but she wouldn’t be opposed to it. “I don’t see why not.” She moved to sit up and stretch, looking back at y/n. Y/n stared at her and smiled, making Alex chuckle. “What?”

“You’re beautiful.” Y/n whispered softly as she smiled. “I don’t mean to come off as a creep, but even if you always look beautiful, right here…right now…you look the most beautiful.”

Alex bit her lip as she tried to hide her smile, she leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “You’re just as beautiful.” She smiled softly. “Now, let’s go to shower before my phone goes off.” She whispered against her lips before she pecked them.

********************

Alex sighed as she laid on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. She had been trying to sleep for the last 2 hrs but sleep was definitely not on her side. She had tried everything at this point, even had taken some pills for her anxiety but sleep was definitely not an option. She couldn’t quite understand why she was not able to sleep when in the last few days she had been sleeping just fine, but today they beat her up at trial and she had been a bit stressed about it. Also she had not been able to get lunch with y/n so that had added to her anxiety since she was now used to their little routine. She took her phone and stared at it for a moment, until she dialed the number and waiting, hoping she wouldn’t grab her in a bad moment.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” Alex smiled as she heard y/n.

“Lex! Hi! I’m so glad to hear your voice.”

Alex chuckled softly. “So glad to hear your voice too.” She smiled. “Are you busy?”

“No, I actually just finished with a patient, and I came to the on call room to lay down for a bit.” She sighed softly. “How are you? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Alex bit her lip softly. “I can’t.”

“Is something bothering you, love?”

Alex smiled softly at the pet name, they randomly came but she loved when they did. “They beat my ass today. I worked with Liv and Elliot all day to try and find something that could help us.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“I know, just…” Alex sighed. “I cannot let this man walk free.“

“And you won’t. You got this.”

Alex smiled softly. “I wish you were here.” She whispered softly, almost to herself, but she knew y/n had heard her.

“Just a few more hours till my shift ends and I can go visit you at your office.”

“You don’t have to do that. I know you’re exhausted as it is.”

“I told you before…I’d do anything to get to see you for at least a minute. I can sleep later.”

Alex shook her head as she smiled. “You’re too cute.”

“And cheesy, but you seem to not mind it.” Y/n chuckled.

“Not one bit.” Alex smiled as she sighed. “I’ll let you get some sleep and I’ll try to sleep too.”

Y/n stayed silent for a moment. “Alex?”

“Yes?”

Another moment of silence and then Alex could hear a small sigh. “I’ll see you later.”

Alex furrowed her brows but nodded as if y/n could actually see you. “I will.”

Alex hung up the call and sighed softly as her eyes went back to looking up at the ceiling. Part of Alex’s work was to figure out people whether they were lying or not, she could either notice it in their body language or the way they talked, and their voices slightly changed. She had now been dating y/n for the last 4 months, they’ve made it official after the second night y/n had stayed over with her and she couldn’t be happier about it, but in the last week she could see that y/n was battling with herself about something, but Alex was not one to pressure her into talking -even if that was mostly what she did with her job-. At some point Alex closed her eyes and fell asleep, her mind clouded in thought of y/n.

********************

Y/n knocked on Alex’s door and smiled softly as Alex looked up and offered a smile. “Hello, Ms. Cabot.”

“Hello there.” Alex smiled softly as y/n closed the door behind her.

“I brought you some coffee and a sandwich. You can leave it for later.” Y/n said as she walked to Alex, putting her coffee in front of her and the box of the sandwich on the small table beside her desk.

Alex sighed, a smile on her face. “You didn’t have to.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around y/n’s neck.

Y/n smiled softly as she wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist. “I wanted to. You should be used to it by now.”

“You’re just too good to me.” Alex whispered softly as she closed the gap between them, giving her a sweet kiss.

“How are you doing today?”

Alex sighed. “Apparently Liv and Elliot are getting somewhere, Fin and Munch are trying to check on some records. Maybe we’ll get something out of it.”

Y/n leaned up to kiss her nose and smiled. “You got this, Lex. And I’ll be here for you.”

Alex smiled as she nodded, kissing her forehead softly. “Thank you.” She then chuckled. “What’s your height again?” She looked at y/n teasingly.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “You know, you might be a bit taller than me, but the heels are helping you. I’m not even short, you’re just too tall.”

Alex laughed softly as she nodded. “Okay.” She ran her fingers through y/n’s hair as her eyes stayed glued on hers. “Was there something you wanted to tell me earlier?”

Y/n’s breath hitched as she looked at Alex, thinking she might’ve forgotten. “I uh…well, sort of. But it wasn’t important.”

“You got all nervous. Sounds important. Anything I can help with?”

Y/n raised her brow. “You say that like you’d actually get me out of trouble. Will you get me out of jail if I murdered someone?” A playful tone in her voice as she kissed her cheek.

“I’d probably do it. Can’t say I won’t.” Alex grinned as she kissed her forehead again. “But don’t avoid the question.”

Y/n sighed softly as she closed her eyes, begging anyone that this would go okay. “Okay…I did want to say something, but I thought maybe it wasn’t the best moment to say it since it was through the phone and it was literally 3 am in the morning, so I held myself back from saying anything.”

Alex nodded. “Okay…I’m listening.” Y/n looked up at Alex and bit her lips, a hint of fear could be seen in her eyes and for a moment Alex regretted that she brought it up.

“I know we’ve been only dating for 4 months but…I love you, Alex.” Y/n smiled. “And you definitely don’t have to say it back. I’d understand entirely if this caught you off guard. I don’t expect anything back.”

Alex’s face softened at the words, her heartbeat racing as y/n spoke. She placed her hands on y/n’s cheeks and chuckled softly. “My love, stop rambling.”

Y/n sighed. “Sorry.”

Alex smiled. “I love you too.”

Y/n looked at Alex with a relieved expression, smiling softly. “You do?”

“Of course I do. How could I not? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Alex pulled her close and kissed her lips softly.

“Now who’s cheesy?” Y/n whispered against her lips, kissing her again.

Alex chuckled softly as she pulled away, stroking her cheeks softly. “Hey…I know you want nothing but to sleep all day but…how about you sleep at my place tonight?”

Y/n tilted her head. “Sure, what time do you want me to meet you there?”

Alex bit her lip softly as she smiled. “How about I give you my keys and you wait for me? Get some sleep, something to eat, and I’ll get home after 7 pm.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I know I’ve stayed there but-“

“I’m sure.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “Okay. Sounds like a plan.” She tilted her head. “Do you mind if I shower there?”

“Not at all, you know where the towels are.” Alex went ahead to her purse and got her keys out, going back to y/n and handing her the keys. “Went grocery shopping already so fridge is kinda full, use whatever you need, and get some rest.” She kissed her forehead softly. “And thank you for the sandwich and the coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Y/n chuckled as she leaned in to kiss her lips softly. “I’ll see you later. Will go to my apartment first for a bag.” She kissed her lips one last time. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Be safe.”

Alex smiled and blushed slightly as y/n blew her a kiss as she walked out of the office. She sighed happily as she returned to her desk. Never in a million years would she think that she’d be all in love with a beautiful girl, but things were definitely getting serious, and she was happy about it.

********************

Alex stood in front of her door trying to find her keys on her purse, cursing under her breath as she tried to remember where she had left them. Then a heavenly smell made her look up at her door, a smile appearing on her face as she remembered y/n was inside. She knocked on the door softly and waited, hearing footsteps approaching the door. As soon as the door opened, Alex looked up at her and her heart warmed at the sight of y/n smiling at her. She had spent the weekends with Alex before, whenever she didn’t have any shifts, but seeing her dressed so casually, was probably one of Alex’s favorite things.

“I love the way you’re looking at me, but I don’t think the pasta I’m cooking will agree with us.” Y/n grinned.

Alex chuckled as she walked into the apartment, pecking her lips softly. “Hi baby.”

“Hi.” Y/n whispered against her lips. “Back to the kitchen, your keys are in its place.” She went back almost running to the kitchen.

Alex closed the door behind her and locked it, putting both her coat and purse on the rack beside the door and taking her shoes off. She moaned quietly as her feet hit the cold floor, finally getting off those ridiculous heels she’s been wearing all day. She massaged the back of her neck as she walked to the kitchen, wanting to see what y/n was making for them. She smiled softly as she saw y/n working around her kitchen; y/n was definitely better at cooking, she always made sure to make either breakfast or dinner for them, knowing perfectly that it was the only times Alex actually had a proper meal that wasn’t a grilled cheese or take out. Alex couldn’t help but notice that she was wearing her Harvard hoodie, the smile never leaving her face; she definitely looked better in it, but she wouldn’t admit it. She walked to y/n and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing the side of her neck softly.

“I see you got a new hoodie.” Alex whispered softly.

“Don’t tell my girlfriend, but I actually stole it from her closet. She’ll have it back, I just forgot to bring a hoodie and was cold.” Y/n chuckled softly and grabbed a bit of the pasta she had in front, blowing in it and putting her hand under it so it wouldn’t fall, turning slowly to Alex. “Taste it.”

Alex took the bite and sighed softly, closing her eyes. “Delicious.” She smiled as she looked at Y/n. “My favorite.”

Y/n shrugged. “I wanted to spoil you.” She smiled.

“Did you get some sleep?”

Y/n nodded. “I took a shower and then I was dead to the world for about 8 hrs. I got up and I decided to make dinner.” She smiled. “Go get changed while I serve dinner.”

“You really didn’t have to, but I appreciate it, love.” Alex kissed her cheek softly and disappeared into her room.

Once Alex was back, they both had dinner quietly at first, just enjoying each other’s company until y/n asked about Alex’s day, knowing that Alex had been stressed and maybe she needed to talk about it, so the rest of the dinner went with Alex letting all the stress and frustration she felt inside. As they finished dinner, Alex cleaned the kitchen telling y/n she’d meet her in bed soon. Even after all these months of getting to know each other and dating, Alex hadn’t had the guts to tell y/n that she normally took anxiety and sleeping pills to help her out a bit. It’s something she had put out there before, that she had both anxiety and insomnia, but somehow, telling y/n about it seemed a bit too much at the moment. She checked that doors and windows were closed, lights out and she then headed to her room, finding y/n reading a book while she waited for Alex. Alex stood there for a moment, thinking that she really could get used to this. She first went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and then walked to the bed and sat down, moving closer to y/n as she tried to see what she was reading.

“I thought you’d be reading a medical book or journal. Didn’t think you were a fantasy fan.” Alex grinned.

Y/n chuckled as she closed the book. “Well, sometimes it’s nice to get out of reality for at least a second.” She looked at Alex and smiled. “And it’s a romance novel.”

“Which are mostly based on fantasy. They make it seem too unrealistic, like in the movies.” Alex raised her brows as she teased.

“You’re no fun, Cabot.” Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and placed the book on the nightstand, turning off her light. She turned back to Alex and leaned in to kiss her lips softly. “So, what is realistic for Alexandra Cabot when it comes to romance?”

Alex sighed as she thought about it, grinning as she looked at y/n. “This. Us. Just…I don’t know. I like the way we work together.”

Y/n smiled. “I do too.”

“I wouldn’t change it for a thing.” Alex caressed y/n’s cheek and gave her a soft kiss. “C’mon, I’m sure you still want more sleep even after the 8 hrs.”

“It’ll definitely be better now that you’re here.” Y/n smiled and moved to Alex’s arms, resting her head against her chest. “Love you.”

Alex smiled softly and wrapped her arms around her tightly, kissing her forehead softly. “Love you too.”

The moment she felt y/n’s slow breath, she smiled and closed her eyes, falling asleep right after.

********************

Alex opened her eyes slowly, the sun coming through her window, making her groan a bit as she figured that she had to get up soon to get ready for work. But then something hit her, making her furrow her brows as she looked at the window; she hadn’t taken her sleeping pills. She opened her drawer trying to figure out if she probably didn’t because she ran out of or because she just forgot, but the bottle had enough for the next few weeks, so maybe she just forgot. She put it back inside and turned to look at y/n who was sound asleep. She laid there for a moment, a faint smile on her face as she thought back to all these months they’ve been together. She thought she was truly stupid or just an idiot, how could she not figure out that she slept so much better whenever y/n stayed because she was with y/n. It was the best sleep she got, feeling her close to her, whether she was in her arms or Alex was in her arms, just her presence made Alex feel so safe. And it took her all this time to figure out y/n helped her sleep better.

Alex laid there for a moment until she moved closer to y/n, her arm sneaking around her waist and pulling her closer, laying kisses on her naked shoulder and up her neck. Y/n sighed softly as she moved back into Alex, smiling softly but kept her eyes closed. Alex noticed and chuckled, leaving more kisses in her neck and up her jawline, she felt a bit bad about waking her up, but she really wanted to enjoy her morning before she got a call from someone from the precinct.

“I won’t mind waking up at all if this is the way you wake me up.” Y/n whispered softly, the raspy tone noticeable.

Alex kissed her shoulder and smiled. “I’d love to do that every day then. Sadly, I cannot do that when you stay at the hospital.”

Y/n chuckled, opened her eyes, and turned enough to look at Alex, one of her hands laying in Alex’s so she would leave it there. “Fair enough.” She leaned up and pecked her lips. “Morning.”

“Morning.” Alex smiled and leaned down to kiss her lips more properly. “I’m feeling some pancakes. Why do you say?”

“I can make some.”

“No, I meant I could order some.”

Y/n smiled. “You spoil me too much.”

“I love doing that a lot.” Alex kissed the tip of her nose. “Regular, chocolate or blueberry?” She moved to grab her phone and sit up in bed.

“Surprise me.” Y/n did the same and kissed Alex’s shoulder before she got up.

********************

“Alex?” Olivia asked softly as she knocked on her door.

Alex looked up and smiled. “Liv, hi. Can I help you?”

Olivia furrowed her brows as she walked into the office and sat down on one of the chairs. “I need a search warrant for the Levy case.”

Alex nodded. “What do you need it for?”

“We discovered that he might be hiding evidence, he collects prizes after rapping the girls and he could be keeping them in a special box. He also collects the underwear, so that might give us enough for an easy win.”

“And where did you get this information from?”

“One of the victims.”

Alex nodded. “Okay, I have an arraignment in an hour, I’ll try to find Petrovsky before that, and I’ll send it your way.” She smiled softly and went back to her paperwork.

Olivia furrowed her brows. “How’s your day been?”

Alex looked up at Olivia and smiled, a confused look on her face. “Uh…good? I guess?”

“A few weeks ago you looked like if we said something wrong, you’d throw us whatever you had on your reach. And now you look so…happy.”

Alex blushed slightly at the comment, knowing perfectly why she was like this. She took off her glasses and cleared her throat, looking down at her hands for a moment. “I’ve uh…I’ve been seeing someone. In the last few months. And…I figured out that whenever she stays for the night…I feel safe and comfortable that I wake up feeling so much better and well rested.” She smiled as she looked up at Olivia.

Olivia smiled, everything making sense now. “Does she lives with you now?”

Alex sighed as she looked down at her glasses, her fingers playing with them. “Not exactly. I mean- she has been coming to see me whenever her shifts end and then she goes back to my apartment.”

“So she basically already lives there.” Olivia chuckled.

Alex huffed a chuckle. “I’m an idiot for not asking her, huh?” She looked back at Olivia. “I’m afraid she’s not in the same page and I’ll ruin everything.”

“Alex, honey, she’s already staying with you every now and then. What if you’re also her comfort and that’s why she goes back to you every end of shift? Have you ever thought about it that way?”

Alex stared at Olivia for a moment, thinking back that she hasn’t. “Not exactly.”

Olivia nodded. “Ask her, and I’m sure she’ll say yes.”

Alex smiled. “I will.”

“How long have you been thinking about it?”

“Uh…2 months?” Olivia tilted her head. “Alex.”

“I know, I know. I will ask her.”

Olivia nodded. “You better, or I will for you.” She grinned as she chuckled, making Alex laugh.

********************

After the conversation with Olivia, Alex had in mind for 4 days how it would go down, or…overthought about how it could all go really down. She kept thinking over and over again how she could ask her. Was she supposed to just drop the question? Give her a key? Make a long ass conversation about it and then ask? Alex had never asked anyone to move in with her, hell she hasn’t even mentioned her anxiety and sleeping pills. She knew they’d come up at some point, but she didn’t know how to bring them up, she didn’t know how to ask y/n. Y/n had been braver than her when she told Alex she loved her, because it would’ve taken Alex another 2 to 3 months to tell her, just like the last 2 months that she let pass by and now she was having a hard time figuring out how she could ask her. She kept checking the time, waiting for it to be 9 pm, which was when y/n ended her shift. She knew today she was not coming to her apartment since it was late, and y/n’s apartment was closer to the hospital than Alex’s.

Alex sighed and went to her room, sitting down on her bed and looking at her pills. Was it too early to take them? Would she need them? She knew she’d definitely need them, but she was still in denial of taking them, but they had been so busy these past few days that y/n had not been able to come back to Alex’s, so she has been having a hard time to sleep. She sighed softly as she grabbed them and was about to grab the pill when she heard a knock on her door. She furrowed her brows but left the bottle in bed and walked out of her room. For a slight moment she felt a bit frightened because not everyone knew where she lived, but the moment she looked through the small hole in the door, she felt her heartbeat calming down and she sighed softly as she opened the door.

“Y/n, I was waiting to call you to ask if you were home safe.” Alex smiled softly but then her smile disappeared as she noticed y/n’s face. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Y/n swallowed hard as she looked up at Alex, trying to hold back her tears. “I uh- I know I was…not supposed to come today. I’m…I’m sure you’re exhausted. God, I’m so exhausted.” She covered her face with her hands as she sighed. “But I needed to see you.” She said softly almost in a cry as she looked back at Alex, tears forming in her eyes.

Alex quickly wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her into the apartment, closing and locking the door quickly to give full attention to y/n. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

Y/n shook her head, letting Alex take her backpack and her coat off her. “I lost someone. In the ER.” She finally let the tears roll down as she sobbed. “S-She was so y-young. She was only ten. And I…I tried to help to stop…to stop the bleeding. We took her for an emergency surgery and she…she didn’t make it.”

Alex sighed softly as she wrapped her arms around y/n. “Love, I’m so sorry.” She kissed her forehead softly.

“It’s not the first patient but…Alex she was okay when she got there. And 10 minutes later, she was complaining about a pain, and she passed out. She looked so terrified and I…I couldn’t do anything else.” Y/n wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist and buried her face on her neck. “I should’ve done more. I should’ve hurried up and not think she was okay.”

“You did what you could. And I’m sure anyone would’ve done the same things you did.” Alex kissed her forehead again, walking them to the couch.

Y/n sighed softly as she leaned into Alex again, trying to stop her tears. “They already talked to me and said I did every possible thing but just…god.” She rubbed her face. “They saw me so bad that they gave me a week off, paid. They told Anika to take the week off too, she was as freaked out as I was, I mean…she was in charge, it was her OR.” She chuckled sadly. “

You need some rest and to clear your mind. You’re amazing, love. You all did everything.” Alex whispered softly, grabbing her hand.

Y/n nodded as she sniffled. “I’m sorry I…I just…I didn’t want to be alone. I just needed you.” She whispered softly as she pulled away enough to look at Alex. “I’m sure you’re tired and just wanted to sleep.”

“No, baby. I was waiting to call you.” Alex smiled. “And I’m actually really happy that your first thought was to come to me and not go to your apartment.” She let go of her hand and stroked her cheek softly. “I’m here whenever you need me, and when I’m not, I’m just a call away.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Alex smiled and pecked her lips softly.

“I didn’t bring any clothes, I uh…I just came straight from the hospital.“

Alex thought for a second and thought it was now or never; could be the worst time but it could also be the best chance. “Maybe you should have clothes here. I mean…I don’t mind sharing mine. You look lovely in them.” She chuckled.

Y/n furrowed her brows as she smiled. “So I should just…bring my clothes in here? For when I stay?”

Alex bit her lip softly for a moment as she stared into those lovely eyes she loved so much. “Yes. But…maybe…maybe you should always stay.”

Y/n grinned softly. “Alex, baby…I know you can talk better than this. I’ve seen you in court.” She chuckled as she wiped away the last tears from her eyes.

Alex chuckled softly as she shook her head. “I’m sorry I’m…a bit nervous.” She smiled as she sighed. “What I mean…I’d like for you to move in, with me.”

Y/n’s face softened, tears forming in her eyes again. “Really?”

Alex nodded. “You know…I love the fact that you first thought about coming here because you needed me, because I need you as well.” She took a deep breath. “I suffer from anxiety, and I have trouble sleeping, insomnia. I took pills and I…I never told you because I didn’t think it’d be important. But when you’re here…when you stay with me, it’s the best sleep I have and I just live having you here with me. And if I can do the same for you…I’d do it every single day. Because I love you. And I’ll always be here.”

Y/n smiled through her tears. “Alex.”

“Oh, my darling. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Alex wiped her tears and kissed her forehead softly.

“They’re happy tears.” Y/n smiled. “I’d love to move in with you. I wish you could’ve told me about your anxiety and trouble to sleep. I’d have moved in since our first date.” They both laughed.

Alex shrugged. “I wouldn’t have minded that.” She grinned as they laughed. “But I mean it. I don’t want you to ever go.”

“Then I won’t.” Y/n smiled. “My lease is due next month actually. So…guess it was the perfect time to bring this up.” She chuckled. “I…wanted to bring it up but I was also a bit nervous.”

“Guess we both overthought so much about it.” Alex chuckled.

“Well, I’m glad you brought it up.” Y/n leaned in and kissed her lips. “Thank you.”

Alex tilted her head. “For what?”

“For being you. For loving me. For being here.” Y/n smiled.

“I should thank you for the same things.” Alex smiled. “Hey, how about we order something. I’ll ask for tomorrow off so I’m here with you.”

Y/n nodded. “Sounds good.” She smiled. “Could we…maybe…take a bath together?” She bit her lip as she looked at Alex.

Alex chuckled and nodded. “I don’t see why not.” She kissed her forehead softly before the two of them headed to her bedroom. Their bedroom.

[deluweil]

I have to say that if one is going to create a certain ship, at long last, the emergency of the opening season shouldn't be of Athena.

Athena and Bobby have done their share of bonding.

And even though Buck and Eddie have been closer than ever, the clown couple (derogatory) of showrunners have ruined all progress, one by a certain death doula that "saw Buck" 🤦‍♀️ for an episode and a half and a shotgun relationship created with little sister insignificant Marisol. And the other by Buck literally road killing Eddie to gain "T's attention" (calling bullshit) never apologizing and then have him caught up in himself (what else is new) for the rest of the season. All the while shoving Eddie away from himself and his now not new friend or friend at all, Buck has all the attention now and tbh not sure that toxic crap is the attention I would want, but Buck’s messed up childhood dictates that bad attention is still attention so why not.

Don't even get me started on TM literally burning Eddie’s so called relationship with a TVD doppelganger crap, that is so far fetched and not who Eddie is that my hands are still itching to bitch-slap Tim for ruining Eddie in the name of "the plot" and regressing him mentally to fucked up S3-4 state of mind. Hate him! (TM, never Eddie)

So really the emergency again being an Athena brand, also fucking far fetched because SHE IS A POLICE SARGENT- SHE WORKS THE STREETS!

She in NOT a US Marshall,

She is NOT a detective,

She is not a US Marshall working on manhunt,

She is not any kind of fed, and she is not SWAT but still was brought in to figure out the sniper MO somehow.

I am so confused.

This show is very copaganda and it's driving me crazy, because the mains are supposed to be firefighters with a side of cop wife and dispatch wife not the other way around.

But seriously, after Christopher leaving and with Buck still visiting toxic lane, now would have been the best time to get Eddie into his wild and reckless side and make everyone worry about him and bring him and Buck closer together.

Buck choosing Eddie, showing him, he's enough. Nudging him towards his own realization, making him fight his instincts to self destruction after his drama queen son left him for his toxic parents.

I am sensing a pattern here. Gotta say no parents deserved even the smallest redemption arcs they received in S6 if this was the natural progression.

Not having much hopes of the next season being at all attractive storytelling wise.

Hopefully, buddie, at least, can get their heads out of their asses long enough to get together.

Though, and this is the most controversial remark I will ever make here (and God knows I made a lot) I don't feel like Buck deserves him rn. I really want better for Eddie, I want him to finally be settled and happy and focusing on enjoying life and on his job.

Maybe start studying for the lieutenants exam and move up the ladder in the LAFD.

Don't you guys find it weird that they are all stuck in some limbo, where no one wants to move higher. And the only time they actually received a commendation was not for daring saves during a tsunami, not for a daring save during earthquake or the dam explosion, not for pulling Eddie from snipers fire and so on.

What they got a commendation for was for just showing up, barely doing any saving with their toy chopper, God knows what they planned to do with it and barely any equipment.

I guess showing up is half the part in 911?

A participation trophy if I ever saw one 🤦‍♀️

That was so lame and kinda dumb.

Anyway, I digress, this turned into a longer post than I meant to, and I kinda went off on a tangent.

Bottom line is, that I cannot believe that Athena is on that plane, in the opening long-ass season disaster, again.

[isthisrealliiife]

On Lies I Didn't Know Were Lies

Hi everyone <3 I'm just gonna get straight to what if you're reading this, you most likely want to know about:

I did not mean to lie about posting the next chapter of an echo, a stain in July.

I have NOT abandoned an echo, a stain. 

It will be a minute before I recover my mojo.

And now, for those of you with vague interest in details, a bit more explanation:

By the time I graduated my program, finished my practicum, completed the requirements for certification, got my paperwork sorted, and was finally done, it was mid-July, and I was hardcore job hunting.

Great news! I got a job! As a school librarian! With a non-heinous commute!

So once I got that job, I ended up sleeping for more like nearly a month than a week, because apparently being sick for 10 months and then trying to accomplish every academic, professional, and personal goal you'd meant to achieve during that time while also tryna figure out how to pay rent with no income really fucks with your stamina.

Then I had a bunch of trainings to go to, and visits to fam and friends I hadn't seen in a year, and started my new job.

For those of you uninitiated in the agony and the ecstasy of being a K-12 teacher, this lands me in the DEVOLSON. (The Dark, Evil Vortex Of Late September, October, and November. Google it. It's a brilliant thing that I did not come up with but that is absolutely fucking true.)

The beginning of a new school year is fuckin' NUTS. I can't describe it. It's too much. Suffice it to say that even when you're returning to a school you've been teaching at for years in a position/at a level you've been doing for years, the beginning of the school year is always overwhelmingly busy and hectic and involves more pivots than every runway walk at New York Fashion Week combined. Starting a new job in a new position at a new school in conjunction with this is ... loooooooool. Anyway it's great, it's been great, I love my new job and my new school and my new students but when I tell you every iota of energy, creativity, mental acuity, and basic capacity to accomplish anything has been completely absorbed by my job, it's really not hyperbole lol. But, as my fellow New Jerseyan and hair band charmer Jon Bon Jovi would say, "we're halfway there." Sort of.

I'm not even going to try to predict when the next chapter of an echo, a stain will drop, and I won't make any promises.

What I will say is that with any luck, things will calm down in December and settle into far chiller rhythms. I'm gonna play me some Dragon Age: the Veilguard, sorry not sorry but I been waiting for that fucking game for ten years and for good or for ill, I need to KNOW.

Once that settles, it's probable I'm going to feel some inspo for a story I've neglected for even longer than aeas (WAY longer, in fact) and hopefully finish that fuckin thing or at least figure out where I want to go with it. After THAT (or possibly concurrent with that, tbh), I will return to aeas, whose place in my heart is precious and undiminished.

If you've read this far, thank you. I appreciate you. If you're pissed and are like "fuck your excuses!"

well... I mean, I feel bad about disappointing you, because I genuinely do appreciate people's investment in the story and understand the anguish of waiting for a chapter/ending that seems like it will never come, but also... damn, you don't gotta be mean about it looool.

Unfortunately, we live in a late-capitalist hellscape and so I have to work a lot and pretty hard to barely scrape by and I'm still recovering from being sick for a long time, so I only have so much capacity to do stuff. It's growing, but it's limited, so here we are! I am sorry for having fallen off, though. I really hadn't expected to.

But never fear, I'll be back -- and more importantly, so will aeas. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda scared by having been away so long, and worried that I won't be able to live up to the ambitions I had for the story, but that's not holding me back or anything. I'd rather try and fail than leave it hanging in the breeze unfinished.

It's just gonna take some time. Anyway, I hope y'all are doing well and that life throws some joy at you.

Also listen I am SERIOUSLY not gonna lie but if shit goes awry on that first Tuesday in November, it's gonna take me a minute to reconcile myself with all that. Just sayin'.

OK that's it I hope to be writing again sooner rather than later but thanks for even reading this if you have. <3

[redwingedwolves]

@chickenwingexpert

Happy Anniversary, birb! Today marks four years that we have been together(two irl and I cannot believe that either).

Four years doesn't seem like a long time, but we were also friends for a few years before that too so it definitely feels like longer. I've said this before, I think, and I'll probably say it again, but if I had known that walking into on-coming traffic would have made the biggest positive change in my life to date, I would have done it a lot sooner. lol

You didn't just save me from injury back then, you introduced me to the man who would become damn near everything to me. I love you, Keigo. More than I ever originally thought possible. I love you. More than any words in any language could possibly describe. I love you. More than I have ever loved anyone ever before(beyond one other). I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

And you once said you would say these words until I got sick of them, but birdie, I'm still waiting. I love hearing you say them, over, and over, and over, and over again. I don't think I'll ever grow tired of hearing them. Let alone saying them myself.

Love to me before was a fickle thing. It was fleeting and it usually always meant heartbreak. And I'd be lying if I ever said that you haven't broken my heart at least once, but you have been the one person to always make sure you were still there to help me put the pieces back together. You stuck with me, thick and thin, through it all.

You have been with me from my lowest moments to my highest and you have lifted me up when I couldn't stand, and raised me higher when I finally could. You have been my rock, my shoulder, my shelter, and my home. You are home to me now. Home is no longer a place it is a person. Wherever you are, birb, I am home.

You are my home.

You are my everything.

And I cannot wait until the day finally comes that we exchange vows and official become each other's everything. We've already committed, birdie. Now we just gotta make the date. lol

I am yours, Keigo. Truly, utterly, and wholly. And just the same you are mine. I know you are because you have shown it and said it enough times that it's tattooed inside my very veins at this point.

We are each other's.

And I really wouldn't have it any other way.

So here's to four absolutely amazing years together, Keigo. And to many many more to come. Thank you for saving me, and thank you for showing me what love really means.

I love you, Keigo.

Forever and always, until the day that I no longer draw breath.

I love you.

[vwbugggie]

Some MCU DR Tea Pt. 1

Hey y'all!!!!

Ok y'all so I watched Shay's (shifttoker) live last night and she was talking about the shufflemancy she got for her tasm (the amazing spider man) DR and it seemed really fun so I decided to give it a go! and the tea I got??????? (For context, I don't really have a lot scripted for this DR and it doesn't really follow the MCU's plot especially after Age of Ultron. Also, I didn't have a ton of questions so it's not very many songs)

If you don't believe in shufflemancy: Cool. I don't give a shit. Goodbye.

So the first thing I asked: Give me a song that describes me and Dean first meeting in this D.R.

(This I do have semi-scripted, I know we meet when Pietro, Wanda, Abbi, and I are still anti- avengers and we're getting the vibranium from Klaue. The vibe I had was that it was gonna be flirty but we're literally gonna be fighting each other so a semi- serious meeting)

I got: Summer Feelings by Lennon Stella ft. Charlie Puth

I'm not gonna lie to you at first I was HELLA confused. I thought this song is waaayyy too light hearted but then I looked at the lyrics and she's right

"And I'm trying to keep it cool"- Describes how I'm gonna feel at first. Not only am I gonna be nervous cuz this is the first fight I'm gonna experience but also seeing Dean for the first time I know I'm gonna be NERVOUS. He's just too gorgeous.

"And I found a piece of me that I never knew" -This part comes on right before Charlie's part so to me this part represents the exact moment after I first see him. I instantly knew that I was never gonna be the same (I always knew that fucker was gonna ruin my life in every reality makes sense cuz he's ruined it here lol ((affectionate)))

"You got my heart and I'm head over heels in love" -Charlie sings this part so I took that as it's from Dean's perspective, self explanatory.

"Oh, now what you do? Your brown eyes tell the truth" - In Charlie's part of the song. This to me meant that Dean could tell I wasn't really team Ultron (Which is true I never trusted the fucker, I was just going along with my siblings. And he did free me from Hydra so I guess I gotta go along.) His "See I happen to be able to read people" moment lmao. Extra confirmation cuz my eyes are brown (now that's delusion skskksks)

"Yeah, you got to me, and I came out someone new" -Also sung by Charlie so also from Dean's perspective. After we met he'll never be the same either.

"I'm trying to keep it cool" "And I, I found a piece of me that I never knew' -Still sung by Charlie so still Dean's perspective. Basically he's feeling everything about me that I'm feeling about him.

Bitch, it's love at first sight FOR REAL. (I didn't even script that arc but slaayyyy)

"I'm meltin' like ice cream The stress is gone for me Nowhere I'd rather be"- Sung by Lennon, so my perspective. Even though we're literally in a fight rn he makes it better and my ass is falling for him (I did script a flirty one on one fight with him) so after the one on one I'm no longer nervous, and all that's left is him.

"And I, I'm trying to keep it cool" "And I found a piece of me that I never knew" -Towards the end of this song, sung by both, so both our perspectives. Because it's at the end I felt like this was after we part ways. We're both trying to seem like it was no big deal, and that we're unaffected. But we both know that's bullshit.

In conclusion, this song has a you take away all the bad/ you're like paradise kinda vibe to it so even though we're initially on different teams we're still gonna fall for each other in spite of everything. (Romeo and Juliet who? LMAOOOO) Bonus confirmation this song was on the Scoob soundtrack and Dean loves himself some Scooby-Doo

This got SO much longer than I was anticipating so Ima end this here and do more later maybe

[togalnu]

Do you have any specific hcs for fem togainu or just fem nitrochi as a whole? I'd love to hear them! ^^

Oops I meant to answer this earlier. Anyways yes! I will be putting this under a read more because. Lol. Enjoy!

You wanna know a secret? Earlier this year I was researching parodies and the legalities of them because I had the grand idea to make a togainu remake but yuri and with some story changes. A whole ass visual novel. I was seriously planning on making it. Suffice to say I have put in some thought in turning these yaoi boys into yuri girls.

We will be here all day if I list every little thought and headcanon I have! I'll def make more posts about my visions in the future, but for right now I need to talk about Shiki. I NEED TO TALK ABOUT SHIKI.

First and foremost, my overall thoughts about Shiki: wasted potential. His route was a huge disappointment when I finally got to it. It was fumbled so fucking badly and it pains my soul because Shiki is hot and I love the concept of his character but.. man. What a let down. I ended up thinking about him a lot because of this. What I would do if I were in charge of writing his route, parts of his characterization that I'd rid of or ameliorate, and maybe even giving him some new quirks to not make him so one-dimensional-evil-villain type. And then along with this, I started thinking about what if he was a woman. because I am attractdd to women. Typical thought process.

First, his design. I am a sucker for black haired red eyes bitches. I love black and red. I'm dying my hair black and red at the end of the year. The majority of my wardrobe is black and red. I do not play around #EMO. I love the almost leather gothic look he has but unfortunately it is not enough for me. I felt that he needed more unnecessary accessories and belts and other clothing items, as any goth should have. I've had a few ideas in mind for Shiki girl outfit and they all lean into these more, like giving her extra bracelets, belts, necklaces, crosses, whatever. I want her DECKED OUT!!! But I also struggle coming up with outfits so I can't really decide what looks good LMAO

Things I love about Shiki's outfit:

- The gloves. UGHHH gloves are so fun. The longer the gloves are the better.

- His stupid coat

- The spikes and crosses. The silver adds a lot to his appearance

- Turtleneck<3

Things I don't like about Shiki's outfit:

- those stupid ass notches on his pants. I can't tell if he has insane thigh-high boots or strange pants, and neither can a lot of artists it seems like? Though it seems pants are the consensus. SAD!

- Turtleneck should have long sleeves

- Or his coat should have long sleeves. One of those two

- What the hell is going on with his belt. It'd look fine if it didn't have those strange hanging.. circle... things

NOW MY IDEAS

I like the idea of her having a corset and fishnets, so I've been including that in whatever iteration of her design I'm working on. I gotta keep the coat too as it's like, a Shiki classic. I've also been trying to decide how a skirt for her might look (I love the idea of it having a slit so you can see her fishnets and thigh high boots).

But I'm torn on including the turtleneck as much as I love it.... I feel like it kinda clashes. Idk maybe i should just move her skirt up so it's not hanging off her ass but also it's fun to draw it that way.

Although adding another belt with the skirt could work too, and have the fishnets peaking out from the skirt slit... not gonna draw that rn though im just brainstorming here

Like I said earlier I'd love to give her way more accessories than base Shiki has but I need to definitely play around with outfit ideas more bc I don't want her to look too cluttered either. Also sorry all the pics are torso only because for some reason I struggle HARD with drawing calves and feet

I don't have much to say for hair ideas.. I just like the idea of it flairing out + two long.. idk what to call them... strands of hair? Down her cheeks?? Okay well u see what I mean in the pic. Bangs pretty much stay the same

And ohhh my god I know togainu is set in the post-apocalyptic future, but considering it came out in 2005 I feel obligated to rework some of the designs to be a little more y2k.. Akira with low waisted flared jeans... making Shiki even more gothic... it's so fucking fun HOW CAN I NOT!!

Also the other day I saw this one corset that I LOVED and wanted to see if I can Shiki-fy it but hmm... idk... I definitely need to play around with the idea more but here's a quick sketch i did just for funsies so you get the idea

Okay moving on

Second, his characterization. I love the idea of what they were going for in terms of his relation to Nano. I wish so badly they had expanded on this past Shiki just hating line users and killing them because he's unable to kill Nano (although I do think this is a pretty good bit of characterization). I'm pretty sure the Chayamachi manga goes more into this but idc we are talking about the game so I'm gonna pretend it doesn't exist.

Shiki is smug and cocky. Incredibly so. But a big part of his character is how hateful he is, so much so that it's this hate that motivates everything he does.

I love it. I love his hatred. I wish the game went more into it sooo badly and like if he found out Akira had anti-line blood before the end of the game and there was time given to show his reaction? Would he hate Akira for it??? Would he feel any kind of resentment?? If I was Shiki I'd definitely feel complicated as fuck over it!!!

Anyways I'm still working out how fem Shiki could be improved upon in terms of this, and I LOVEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE writing personality and backstories and relationships with other characters and how they all interact with each other. I have very deep oc lore because of this but i will not get into my ocs rn because they have nothing to do with togainu.

This post is already long enough however and if I were to talk about all the ideas I had for Shiki characterization upgrade... well it'd take even longer. To say the least. One day I'll talk about it though! In a more comprehensive post including other characters and whatnot. It's something I definitely also need to work out in my head more tho

It's been a pretty fun project so far that I hope to do more with in the future. Side note that doesn't really matter but there's this song that I always imagine fem Shiki amvs too oops.. RIDE IT by LustSickPuppy... this part especially.......

(the part is around 1:17 if you don't feel like listening to the entire thing. But u should)

Urggghhhh I love lsp ugh ughhhhhfuhrhhcuuhfhuufghh sorry for posting lyrics and a spotify link. It will happen again

OKAY. AMYWAYS

I do not give a fuck if all of this seems too self indulgent. If anything it's supposed to be!!! It's a labor of love!!!

Thank u to anyone who read this far. I appateciate it

[roboyomo]

APAWLOGIES IF U GET THIS TWICE but i gotta know so so bad i wanna hear abt ur little guys... enabling u enabling u iwanna see them spill th beans..!

YESSS HAIII HELLOOOO PIKKKK!!!!!!! MY REQUEST TO GET AN ASK ABOUT AMOR AND KENIX WORKED!!!! IT'S OKAY DON'T APOLOGIZE YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE TO SEND THE ASK. AND I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU IN MY NOTIFS OR ASKBOX SO YIPPPEEEEEE!!! sorry i took too long to answer because i was PREPARING FOR THIS ONE OVER HERE ( I WANTED TO DRAW SOMETHING FOR THIS BUT SIMPLY COULDN'T. MY BODY REFUSED TO COOPERATE) amor and kenix genuinely have a lot of shit to them. which includes a lot of context and then a shit ton of explanation so LET'S GOOOO

(BUT BEFORE THAT. TW FOR TOPICS OF SH AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. YES THEY ARE GETTING FUCKED UP.)

Before that, I feel like I need to give Amor just a bit of quick explanation to give context on his early-story character:

Amor is in the OG timeline crew (or the company crew) and works at the company. Amor is not his real name as it is only a chosen one, for his real one is actually Bao. He is a well-respected, maybe even model employee alongside Apollo (I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU WHAT AMOR AND APOLLO HAVE. THEIR HISTORY TOGETHER. THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME CRIES CRIES CRIE—). The company had a laboratory under its name, founded exactly by Amor himself and lead by both him and Apollo as the two lead scientists. Despite that they were still classified as part of the warriors in the files of the management, so they still were assigned to go on missions that had anything to do with fighting. Some of these missions included exploration of the Outskirts that were considered highly dangerous now that the possibility of encountering a cursed relic has been increasing on a daily basis.

Amor has grown up more like a sheltered kid, having a wealthy family which meant that he had much more privileges than his best friend Apollo. He had been neglected by his parents, but he still believes to this day that they have never done anything wrong to him. he is. quite stubborn

But that ignorance only stayed. While working in the company, he has never batted an eye at what the management has been doing. He never saw anything wrong with their suspicious actions, how they all put the employees on a pedestal and showering them with constant praise. And this is when Kenix comes in.

The both of them assigned on an exploration mission together one day (What could go wrong?? Just two coworkers working on a task together, surely everything should be fin— NO. NO IT WAS NOT FINE IN FACT.) And as I have talked about this a long while ago, Kenix's curse lets him stay sane and therefore live longer if it gets to "feed" off the suffering of others. Which is exactly what happened here! Kenix just straight up made Amor encounter one of those cursed relics forcefully on the mission. and Amor pretty much. had no grasp on how AWFUL that would be

Now before that, I should mention that some of the company crew members have blessings with a certain element or specific type of power attached to them and Amor specifically had the powers of the Void attached to his which is. A Bit Unfortunate considering the background info of that specific one. You see, most of the powers here are typically caried by multiple other warriors, and I mean that as like. one person per power type and if they die then here comes the next person and so on. like a generation after generation. and Amor and Apollo were unfortunate enough to have power types that had well. Fucking Artificial Semi-deities as previous wielders. And they are not dead oh no they simply just. vanished. Not dead but they just. stopped appearing in the company. And they are not human they are fucking Beasts™ like actually and literally. destructive beings that were barely under control of the management a lot of the times.

Well, Amor and Apollo got fucked over really badly because. when they were first cursed (because of KENIX.), it wasn't really them who were in control of their own physical bodies but those said destructive barely even humanoid beings. Being forced to spectate the chaos caused by what others perceive as them with no control over what is happening.

Amor has poured his soul and his heart into creating what the lab was and all the projects they all have been working on alongside a group of other scientists who volunteered to work with them, to the point of having a close sibling-like bond with one of the younger ones - to the point that Kira, one of the youngest and loyal researchers almost started calling him brother. He was never able to get along with people growing up, but he wanted to bring a brighter future, he wanted to be of help to humanity if possible. Amor has tried so hard to build his reputation, hoping that he would finally be trusted by people more

But after the events of Inspiration's (Yes that is the name of his semi-deity creature. No i do not think that i will keep that as its name for long) PI chapter, it has left Amor scarred. immensely. Having to live in guilt because he felt like he was still in fault for so many deaths, even if it wasn't exactly him who caused this. Having no other option but to desperately cling onto the other dead scientists, including Kira themself. And what did the management do about this? Nothing. It turned a blind eye to Amor begging them for any sort of help regarding this situation

The thing is, it is in the company's interest to have their employees slowly be cursed one by one. Their management is not human, it is only full of humanoids and a few times, they do not even look remotely human. They approve of said curses, no matter how much the warriors and the employees are actively avoiding that; they think that these said curses will bring the employees to become one with the company. They see the damages that the curses cause to be "enlightening". Becoming physically inhuman from these curses, just like their superiors and their management. They only saw Amor's lab and everything he created as something that could bring profit to the company in one way or another. Once it has failed after the incident that is Inspiration's PI chapter, they just swept the entire situation under the rug and pretended like nothing had ever happened to one of their employees, to one of their recent branches focused on scientific research and to the population of Ortu Lunae. As if it has never been important to them in the first place.

The fall of Amor's only true passion in life, his respect for the company and his humanity. All of it becoming his tragedy that was just discarded by the higher-ups because it is not in their interest. The company dehumanizes their own employees through detached language in all of the information provided to the employees. Their warriors are their prophets, their saviours on a silver platter, that they are actively killing and destroying themselves. And they are aware of their own actions. They reduce the cast to nothing but a group of people that keep the population safe from threats, while not seeing hem as human beings. Yet they still shower their employees with praise. They are aware that even if the employees were to die, they could always find replacements for them in the end. They make their own heros and once they find them - they will hold them on a pedestal while draining all of their life out of them. The company has long embraced these curses rather than rejecting their existence. And Amor has fallen victim to their actions. His desperate attempts after the tragedy to make the company care, to show at least some empathy for his struggles, turning into a mental breakdown after to coming to the realization that he, no - All of them, are nothing but just a corporate asset. They and their lives were never that important. And the rumors about how he shouldn't be trusted only started to spread faster.

The guilt has never left him, wishing to go back in time to live in those simpler, happier times. Yet, he constantly just suppressed his feelings, not letting himself talk about his personal problems because it would seem weak. He cannot let that happen when he is trying to become someone that people could rely on once again. Keeping all of his problems inside and attempting to appear normal, he lashes out due to those bottled up emotions to the point that he even lashed out at the people he cares about a lot on accident (Prime example being Apollo,, or maybe Yaku). He would always start crying once he realizes what he just said and apologize frantically for his behaviour. which is just sad to see live to be honest

Amor has definitely looked different before and after the events, and that is because he has tried everything to change his identity. He now lives with a fear of his own self, that the fact that his body once belonged to a monster bearing the blood of his loved ones on his hands. that came with a whole lot of identity issues™. He stopped seeing himself as a human being, only just a being. Not human in any way. But he hated everything about himself and his looks to the point that he wanted to change entirely thanks to shapeshifting, but he simply could not make such big changes to him body. He despises everything that his reflection in the mirror reminds him of, yet he still wants to keep something from his past. The past that once brought him so much joy and happiness in his life, he is still clinging desperately to it and not letting go of those happy times. He still has delusions that Inspiration is somewhere inside his body. Somewhere beneath. To the point that he has tried to slit himself open and then attempted to kill himself multiple times because he genuinely believed it was somewhere beneath his skin. even though it was in a completely different place this entire time. He wanted it gone. Wiped from the face of this world.

And how was Kenix being to him this whole time? He did nothing but make a mockery of Amor's misery. Kenix has a completely different attitude with the company crew - Being incredibly condescending and awful to them all. Patronizing Amor for attempting to recover and become a better person. And this, along with most people rejecting him because of the rumors, has made Amor only come to the conclusion that maybe people were just never worth it anyway. Those wasted efforts to make a difference within society, to become a helpful and kinder person, only turning into bitterness and hatred. Hatred for people, hatred for what he has become. Hatred for the person that is the reason Amor is stuck in this miserable cycle of bottling up his emotions and lashing out on everyone and causing even more problems.

Amor saw Kenix as nothing less but an enemy. Maybe even more than just that as he could never call him "Uncle" of all things. He absolutely despised everything about Kenix. Kenix's condescending behaviour never really changed, as he mostly just wants to get a rise out of Amor, to make him go absolutely insane. And it worked. Sort of. It was mostly just fueled by Amor's hatred alone. He could never understand how someone could be like this. Kenix has shaped Amor into what he is - From an enthusiastic young scientist to nothing but a bitter and hateful person, mad at everyone who has wronged him and at himself. And yet Kenix never even showed any signs that he felt any remorse for his actions. Kenix made Amor's life a living hell by just existing, but it wasn't like Kenix didn't do shit at all. He very much did. He made this poor 21 yr old guy go through a lot. To the point that Amor is willing to start a fight on the level of a war with Kenix. Amor despises how Kenix never seemed to have felt sorry for his actions, he hates everything about that man. The man that has created him to become this terrific and bitter person. Having now only one reason to keep living, and that reason being Apollo staying by his side, ever since childhood.

Amor wants Kenix dead. He is willing to break the laws of their own nature that prevents them from being about to actually kill each other, overcome all obstacles in his path, take down any living being in his way and train for years on end - If only that means that he will be able to kill Kenix with his very own 2 hands. And Kenix only laughs at that with a feeling of superiority. Kenix is beyond Amor's strength, but with each fight he does notice how much more stronger Amor gets from pure training alone. Kenix would be lying if he said that there wasn't even a little bit of,, weird admiration for how determined Amor is as a person, though. The determination to keep getting stronger and destroy Kenix in a duel. Kenix's existence has practically made Amor become obsessed with the idea of killing him. Making someone who once just wished to be more open with his feelings and help others turn into a blood-thirsty aggressive fighter. Constantly trying to confront Kenix about the matter, becoming hysterical and blinded with anger, even attempting to strangle Kenix while yelling at him for what he did (to the point that the management has to break it up somehow before Amor actually severely hurts Kenix). Yet, Kenix only keeps showing up exactly where Amor is to taunt him. He wishes to see that blazing rage out of pure amusement. He knows he is much more beyond Amor's power levels, and he only uses to either fight him for hours on end or cause even more problems within the crew. Yes, he has never showed that he ever even felt sorry, but there was once a time where Kenix has experiences a true feeling for once and that was only just a bit of regret for what he did. He wasn't entirely regretting it, but that speck sure was enough to be added to the list of loud noises going on in his mind 24/7. He would have never admitted that outloud, but that weird fascination for Amor's determination and a speck of regret for what he did is what drives Kenix to still be. somewhat friendly at times. But it doesn't matter to Amor at all, because he still just wants him dead.

Amor after the events of the PI chapter has started to hate everything about the company, to the point of leaving behind the lab he has once founded, which left only Apollo be in control of it. He still stays there 99% of the times, but has refused to keep working as one of the lead scientists, only as one of the warriors. Amor despises about how the company treats their employees, where a lot of times the company is considering their employees to be easily replaceable so they can just keep letting the unimportant ones die in gruesome ways. He hates to see others getting the same type of treatment he has once gotten. He hates the management, the higher-ups, the CEO - Everyone except the company crew (excluding Kenix, of course). It is ironic that one of the company's most respected and strongest employees actively tries to sabotage and fuck over the company instead.

i WISH TO TALK ABOUT AMOR AND APOLLO HERE BUT THIS IS ALREADY VERY VERY EXTREMELY FUCKING LONG. YEA AMOR AND KENIX HAVE HATRED FOR EACH OTHER AND IT IS NOT GONNA END ANYTIME SOON. GIVE IT LIKE AT LEASTTT A 1000 YEARS

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Meso's Mixtapes: Handplates Gaster

In honor of the Handplates comic by @zarla-s finally coming to an end, I decided to finally get back to work on my Mixtapes and do one for their interpretation of W.D. Gaster as a sort of thank you. But before I do, I want to talk for a moment about what this comic has meant to me. I was around 12 or so when I first got into Undertale. I was a pretty sheltered kid and wasn't really allowed to play video games, so I watched playthroughs and listened to the ost all from YouTube. And it was through this that I came across the dubbed version of the comic. I was instantly captivated by the acting and the editing, but the thing that pulled me in the most was the emotion behind the storytelling. Even when I was younger, I had no interest in any sort of AUs, but this one not only caught my attention, but held it in a vice. I binged the entirety of what was available of the comic on YouTube twice, and didn't tire of it one bit. But of course, as the years went by and my interest in Undertale faded, I stopped watching. It wasn't until a few months ago while scrolling through Tumblr that I found the comic again and that it was still being updated. So I picked up the comic right from the beginning and read it all. And to my surprise, it was just as incredible as when I read it all those years ago. To this day, Handplates has been the only AU out of really any media that I enjoy, and I'm not even the biggest fan of Undertale anymore. The fact that an AU has captured my attention longer than the base game itself really speaks to how well written this comic is. I would (and have) genuinely suggest it to people who aren't even into Undertale, specifically for how this comic is written. Unfortunately, I was unable to interact with the community due to no access to social media as well as rediscovering the comic so late, but I've fully enjoyed looking through the archives and reading all the asks, extra comics, and posts about it; it really made me feel like a part of the community after all. I don't know what Zarla has planned for the future, but whether it be little one-off Handplates comics, other Undertale stories, or even a bigger project in something else entirely, I will be eagerly tuning in. This comic has meant a lot to me, and I couldn't be more thankful. Now, without further ado, the playlist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Villain by Stella Jang (There are a few different ways you could interpret this song, but for the sake of this mixtape, I see it as the idea of "you can be doing something good, but doing something evil to achieve it still makes you the villain". As the song says, there are many shades of grey; "the person I love the most could be a dog to somebody else" and "the person you hate the most is somebody's beloved child" perfectly explain this. It's the basis of "the ends don't justify the means", which is the exact opposite of the ideology Gaster follows over the course of the comic. Although he does this for the better of monster society, he is still aware of the fact that what he is doing is deplorable; that's part of what makes him such an interesting character to examine.) Rule #27 - Drunk on Pride by Fish in a Birdcage Dying Day by Landlady Dentist! by Alan Menken (I had to include this after Zarla mentioned it in a post a while back, and I gotta say it really does fit in a hilarious way) Wernher Von Braun by Tom Lehrer (I debated on whether or not put this one on the list, but in my opinion the line "'Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down? That's not my department!' says Wernher von Braun" does sound like something he would say; sort of that mentality of "Hey, I did my job. That's not my problem." he showed during scene where the worker was requesting that handrails be added to the CORE. Plus it's Tom Lehrer.) Priest by William Crighton My Friends by Steven Sondheim (The only reason I included this song was because my headcanon voice for Gaster is Len Cariou. Although I will say that my friend also suggested Sam Neill specifically because of the scenes in Jurassic Park where Alan meets Tim and Lex and when he explains how the raptors hunted to that kid at the dig site since they both seem like something he'd do and I stand by that assessment 1000%. Both of those are perfect to me.)

Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo Euthanasia by Will Wood Alles im Griff (auf dem sinkenden schiff) by Udo Jürgens ("Ich hab alles im griff auf dem sinkenden schiff" loosely translates to "I have everything under control on the sinking ship", and the song is basically about all of these bad things happening to the narrator, and the narrator just bottling it all up and saying "This is fine. I'm totally fine." If that doesn't describe Gaster, then I don't know what does.) Zombie by The Cranberries (Considering what the song is about, I felt like it would also stand as a good representation for the hardships and trauma war can leave . And yes, I know that's not the main theme of the comic, but to me at least, that theme was crucial for how some of the characters developed. Not just Gaster, but Toriel and Asgore too.) Everything You Ever by Joss Whedon Total Recall by pragmaticNihilist (Ok, so this one needs a bit of explaining more so than the others. This song is one of the themes for the character Secily Iopara from the game Snowbound Blood, which is technically a sort of prequel/spinoff from the webcomic Vast Error. At least in my opinion, Gaster and Secily share several defining traits: both are easily consumed by work to the point where it takes a toll on their social life as well as their mental health, they push away the people that care about them in order to make things easier for themselves, they both basically devoted their entire meaning to one person [Asgore and Ahlina respectively], and their life's work was their downfall. I just thought it was really interesting how two characters from completely different stories manage to share so much, and how one was able to succeed in fields where the other character failed. Things like this in media have always been something I've enjoyed, so I felt compelled to include it.) Venetian Blind Man by Will Wood Arsonist's Lullabye by Hozier Good Old Days by Weird Al (I'm sorry but I couldn't resist adding this one. It was way too funny to not. I am so, so sorry. This is the last "not really serious one" I swear.) I'm Not Supposed to Care by Gordon Lightfoot (First off, the opening line is already perfect, but I can definitely see this song as the sort of the encompassing theme for the final pages of the comic when they're on the surface. The people who were Gaster's family have no idea who he is or how much they mean to him, yet he's still more than willing to devote himself to them and their happiness, which we see mainly with him and Asgore. My interpretation of Gaster's interactions with them are perfectly summed up by this song: He feels like he shouldn't care as much as he does because they're no longer who he knew, but he can't help it. They no longer love him, but he still loves them and will do whatever he can to make sure they're happy, even at his own expense [both before falling into the CORE and after]. Gaster sums up the basis of his own mentality perfectly: "As long as you will have me, I will stay.")

[dangerdazee]

what do u think chapa would be doing when df ended? something with bose idk

i wasn't sure if you meant this as in after the show ended or after the team came to an end, so i just went with both lol

post show finale:

well ofc it's heavily implied at the end that Danger Force continue crime fighting, taking over as the primary heroes of Swellview.

and they should still have at least another year of high school left! i'm not sure if they were finishing middle school when DF started or starting high school when DF started... but either way they should have at least a year left. if they were in their last year of middle school, they'd still have two years of high school. if they were starting high school, they'd have one year left.

it's kinda hard for me to think about what their lives might look like now though. i mean, they no longer have Ray or Schwoz. there's a new level of responsibility on them.

honestly i feel like Chapa probably struggles handling it all, prioritizes Danger Force, and ends up not doing well in school. i don't think it's a Henry situation or anything though. she'll graduate, Mika will make sure of that.

you mentioned Bose, so thinking about her friendship with Bose... hm. in season 3, Bose starts talking about his birth dad a lot more. he also seems a less like the cheery boy we met in season 5 of Henry Danger, yknow? he seems a bit more down. i feel like those two correlate: the uptick in his mentions of his birth dad and his less cheery demeanor. it seems like he started thinking about his family life a lot more than he used to and that's affecting him. i could definitely see Chapa being someone he talks to about all of that. i feel like she would listen to him well and be able make sense of things he says. she's kind of a shoulder to lean on, someone who helps him to not bottle it up in his own mind. gotta love their friendship. (he does what she does lol)

post danger force retirement:

we saw what happened when she wasn't being pushed to the good side. she went to the bad side. between seasons 2 and 3, she became a criminal.

that honestly surprises me. bc idk how some of the other DF kids let that slide. i know everyone is scared of her, but when it comes to something serious, they will confront her and stand their ground. and i feel like Chapa turning to a life of crime is something they'd be trying to keep her from??

so i think that's where she naturally goes to after DF calls it quits, but i don't think her friends would just sit by and let it happen this time. they would at least try to keep her from it. try to keep her occupied, try full-on confrontation, whatever method.

she definitely kept any gum balls she had left in her container lol. she even tried to keep them when Ray made them all turn in their gum in Power Problems, so no doubt in my mind that she brought home all the red gum she had this time. she probably tries to save it, but she might pop a bubble every once in a while. for the memories, yknow?

i can't think of much Bose-centric to add, really. they're still friends. they're still Chapa and Bose. they miss seeing each other as often as they used to. but of course that applies to Mika and Miles with Chapa and Bose just as much and vice versa. at this point, they're all out of school and not meeting up at the Man's Nest every day anymore. life takes over and they just can't see each other as often. i definitely think there would be some planned DF meetup days where they all plan a time to hang out for a while, but i could also see Chapa and Bose spending time together on their own. it's great to be with all your friends, but sometimes there's one friend you end up spending a little extra time with cause you just have that extra-time kind of connection, and i think they definitely have that kind of friendship.

also, i feel like DF had some almost-breakup moments before they actually ended it. times when tension got too high and people said things they shouldn't have and conflict got too much and whatever evil they were battling was too much stress on them and suddenly they're on the verge of ending DF. it never actually happened though. not entirely, at least. maybe they got really close and maybe even they all separated for a day, but it never lasted.

[beastlybardou]

How would you go about meeting otherkin irl actually? I have never tried.

So! This is pretty much the entire topic of the panel I hope to do - so I've got a lot to say about it! More than I can really put in one ask post - but the basics come down to

1.) Find online spaces meant for otherkin in your specific area, or, if they don't seem to exist, make them! I didn't find any Texas only otherkin servers, so I went ahead and made one, which is where I've met most of my irl otherkin friends. Even if you don't think you have enough "sway" or reach to make a successful server, its just a matter of putting it in the right tags and getting it reblogged a few times. I remember when I posted mine quite a few popular blogs in the community reblogged it which was very helpful! Generally people want to help.

In addition to servers there are also apps and websites where you might be able to find them. Reddit, Lex, and kin forums have worked well for me.

2.) Find spaces where kin might gather in meatspace - I've met other alterhumans in pagan clubs, furry conventions, and kink spaces. You've just gotta be comfortable being a little more out and loud about it so that they can find you! You can breach the subject casually and see the reactions you get. Don't worry too much about "outing" yourself, most people in those kind of spaces are very accepting and often are at least vaguely familiar with kin as a concept.

3.) Safety - if you find them online, before you go to actually meet them in person please do some basic vetting. I wouldn't recommend any of this if you aren't at least 18 to start with, and even then use your better judgment. Bring your own form of transportation so you can leave if things start feeling weird, and never get into their car on the first meeting. Tell someone where you're going, with who, and when to either expect you back or hear from you if you're staying out longer. Before you meet up, if possible do a video chat with them so you can see that they are who they say they are, and always do the initial meeting somewhere public. Just because you share community over an identity doesn't mean you can automatically trust someone, don't let yourself fall into "oh they're also otherkin so nothing bad will happen!"

That goes for if you find them in meatspace too - just think about the level of trust you would have with a non-otherkin but friendly stranger and act accordingly.

[cloudninetonine]

Hii! I'm sorry if you meant your inbox is closed in general and not only for requests, but I really need to tell you this after binging a player's aid. Feel free to throw some gasoline on this and burn it! (also sorry it got a lot longer than I thought)

Man I,,, I don't even know how to begin. Like you're one of the first blogs in my Tumblr life that I actively checked for updates back in the days of Follow the Light. I remember writing a super cheesy ask where I sang praises to your works and I was so scared of interaction for no reason at all 😭

Yesterday I stumbled across the link (must- refrain- pun not intended) to that fic and opened out of curiosity,,, I don't really know the Zelda universe, I played BotW and I'm now waiting for TotK, but I said "hell yanno what, I want to read some of their stuff again" and… fella… I wasn't ready, your writing is absolutely insane, even more than I remembered. From the style, to the pacing, to the story and the characterisation- everything. It makes me feel so satisfied, like when you eat your favourite food yeah?

And now I want to watch the gameplays of every game (even tho I have no idea of how i should start) cus the brainrot is too damn real :')

Again I gotta say your style is immaculate and I'm trying to absorbe as many details as possible, maybe I'll stop having troubles with the pacing of my own stories lmao- But anyways, big ggs and kudos to you, you deserve them all <3

No but actually I wanted to ask if I could spam like and reblog the chapters. I didn't want to flood your activity thingy without asking you first. In case you don't want me to I'll just reblog one every two hours or something, idk whatever works better for you. Have a nice day/night :')

HI SORRY I MEANT FOR REQUESTS BUT NOT FOR GENERAL ASKS!

ALSO HI!

ANOTHER ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH!

It means so much at the fact that you started reading just because you wanted to see my work again :') when I tell you that actually makes me a little tearful (positive of course!) and all the way back from Follow the Light (Missed writing that in all honesty)

And Player's Aid it's actually based on an au comic called "Linked Universe"! So there's a starting point if you haven't already! Just type the name into Tumblr and the first blog should be it! I didn't even start looking at gameplay until later on!

Also, I know this is late but no need to ask! I don't mind spam likes/reblogs- just reminds me people like my work :)))