#OUT THERE NOW I GUESS??? WHOO BOY

[labwebs]

The world seemed to stop when the Green Goblin's mask revealed itself in Harry's hands. A moment where everything, everything shifted and rearranged. Suddenly every time he'd fought the Goblin had a new, horrific context. While it was true that he'd made a promise to himself to only ever use as much force as was necessary to incapacitate but not cause lasting harm, the fights against him had been increasingly brutal. Increasingly desperate on both sides even though Peter hadn't had a clue what they were actually fighting for unlike with other villains he'd tangled with in the past.

He'd hurt his best friend. Badly. Multiple times. And not had a single clue. The horror, shock, and guilt played plainly on his face. He couldn't hide that.

Peter could hear what Harry said after revealing the mask but only barely processed it- mind too busy racing to try and figure out what to do. What could he do? He wanted to be there for his best friend- to help him and to figure out what had happened. But knowing what was wrong and what had happened faced him with several impossible choices. None of them good.

As Jameson and others so often liked to remind everyone else, he'd never taken any sort of oath or vow like the police did. He had no legal duty to stop bad things from happening- just his own sense of responsibility and right that had been instilled in him by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben alongside the reputation that he'd gotten over the years of being someone that the city could turn to when it needed help. He knew this would be easier if he did have that duty- no question about what to do. But his own sense of morality? His own loyalties and concious? No. He'd not turn Harry in. That much he knew. Not like this. Not when he was coming to him for help.

He hated the idea of Dr. Octavius slowly loosing his ability to control his motor functions while trapped in a cell with nothing he could do about it, but that man had done so much harm both to him personally and the city at large. Harry... the Goblin had yet to act on that scale. And now Peter knew why. Sort of. And he wasn't going to make him pay the same price if he could help it. No. Not his best friend. They could make this right. He had to make this right. Harry coming to him and asking for help meant he was willing to stop, right?

"Harry, I-" he started before words failed him again. Was he willing to stop? If he told him his own secret now, what would happen? He knew what Peter cared about, who he cared about. Harry had met Miles and once he had one piece of the puzzle it probably wouldn't take long for him to put it all together. He knew the teen was more than capable of looking after himself and the people in his own life, but Peter still knew he'd personally go to the ends of the Earth to protect him like he was his own brother. And he felt that about Harry, too. Wanted- needed to help and protect them both alongside everyone else.

As much as honesty on his end could put thing in jeopardy, though, he couldn't see a way forward without it. Trusting, hoping that Harry was enough of the person he'd grown up with to see this as his own olive branch and not a threat. Reaching into his own pocket, he first disconnected the ear piece. Just in case something happened so he'd still have it to contact Miles and MJ. A deep breath. A metaphorical dive off a skyscraper. Trust in his friend... and in his own sense for danger. Peter showed Harry his own mask.

"I don't... I don't know what to say here, Harry. Other than I'm sorry."

'Why', Peter asked, but that was not what Harry focused on. Instead his mind latched on what he next revealed, about Octavius' goals once, or perhaps just in theory: living a relatively normal life, even with his diagnosis. It hadn't been common knowledge, no, but it was yet another unwelcome parallel, a quiet reminder that maybe they were not so different, the first villain Peter had considered a friend and now Harry. It might have been a chilling thought, if the whole conversation didn't have him on edge already. If Harry hadn't long accepted that this path would make something dark of him, even if he hadn't expected to look back and find out just how far from the line he'd ended up.

It was almost painful, to see the concern so clearly on his best friend's face. He was not so easy to threaten, not so easy to coerce. Not now, when he'd learned to wield fear in a way he'd once promised himself he never would.

What was he not telling him, Peter asked, and Harry thought that was not the question. What mattered was what he'd tell him instead. And yet, after all he'd revealed, there was little left to say. Chances were Peter already suspected, and Harry was tired.

So he breathed, then took off the earpiece he always wore, small and black and so very practical, and without looking at Peter just yet, he brushed his thumb over the the side of it. It took no more than a heartbeat before he was carefully holding his visor and mask instead, watching his reflection stare back at him evenly despite the way his heartbeat drummed in his chest.

It might be better if Peter learned it from Harry himself. It would not be painless.

And yet, before the silence stretched too long, Harry spoke again, not looking at his friend just yet. He couldn't bear to see the heartbreak -or worse, disgust- he expected to face.

"Last time I was in a battle, things went worse than usual." He admitted, quietly. "I had to flee, but I couldn't make it too far on my own. And then someone helped me. Selflessly, recklessly, because they couldn't know I wouldn't harm them." He exhaled. "But they helped me."

Another Peter, someone who had already lost a friend to a path that might have been so very like Harry's own.

"We talked. I think I needed it." He added. "And while this all seemed like the best idea at the time, the one that would get the least people hurt... Things have gotten out of hand, Pete." He admitted. "I fear I'm losing myself."

But it was this, or the clock ticking once again.

[mischiefmanifold]

apparently my IQ is between 130 and 140 but my memory is shit so it’s affecting my IQ? idk lol

also don’t take this seriously at all this is from a few “reliable” IQ tests I took online for free at 5:30 AM when I should be asleep

[anniebeemine]

Hi k have a kinda specific request that I thought would make a good fic! I was thinking that maybe we see the BAU and y/n and Spencer the morning after Yk… the girls figure out that y/n just got layes and they do the whole bonding girl gossip thing. Derek sees Spencer wearing a scarf and makes a joke about it, only to realize that he was right. Penelope tells Derek and then without y/n or Spencer realizing like everyone knows. They also figure out why Reid is the only one with hikeys 🫢 and yeah…. Thanks queen!

I think I lost the point of it a little bit, but I hope you enjoy <3

"Whoo, got a little pep in your step there, mama," Derek commented, his spoon clinking against the sides of his mug as he tried to dissolve the sugar he'd just poured. "Any stories to tell this morning?" He teased.

You shook your head, smiling. "Just had a good morning. The line was short at the coffee shop, they hadn't run out of crullers yet, and to top it all of, hit every single green light this morning."

Derek chuckled, raising his mug to you in a mock toast. "Well, good for you! Sounds like the universe is finally giving you a break." He stepped aside, letting you move past him to your desk.

You set your coat on the back of your chair and plopped down, digging into the white paper bag. After retrieving your cruller, you took Spencer’s from the bag and set it on his desk, then grabbed his mug, heading over to the coffee maker. As you added a scoop of sugar, you heard footsteps and glanced up to see Emily appearing in the doorway, eyebrows raised.

"Alright, what's got you so chipper this morning?" she asked with a smirk, her gaze bouncing between you and the coffee pot.

You shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Just a good morning, is all."

Emily crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips. "A good morning after a good night, I assume?" she teased, her gaze sharp and knowing.

You bit your lip, trying to fight back a smile, but it was useless. "I hate you," you muttered, shaking your head. "And I hate that you're so good at your job."

Emily smirked. "Meet us in PG's office. We need all the details."

You nodded. "Let me return a little favor," you raised the mug, "and I'll be over there."

As you approached Spencer’s desk, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him, shoulders slightly slouched and eyes half-lidded with sleep. He looked up as you set his mug in front of him, and the sleepy smile that spread across his face was soft and grateful.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, cradling the mug with both hands, letting the warmth wake him up a bit.

You chuckled, reaching over to ruffle his hair gently. “Rough night, Dr. Reid?”

“Just stayed up too late reading,” he admitted sheepishly. You noticed a stray eyelash on his cheek and reached out, swiping it away with your thumb. His cheeks tinted pink, and he shot you an appreciative look as he brought his coffee to his lips.

“See you in a few,” you said, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading toward Penelope’s office.

Spencer nodded, eyes already scanning the open file in front of him as you walked away. He’d only gotten three pages into the third file when Derek strolled up, arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

“Hey, Pretty Boy,” Derek teased, nodding toward the paper bag that held the now-empty space where his cruller had been. “Looks like someone’s got a breakfast fairy looking out for him. You get special treatment, or are we all getting crullers from now on?”

Spencer looked up, a bit startled, but he couldn’t hide the small, pleased smile creeping across his face. “I guess I just got lucky,” he replied, sipping his coffee.

Derek chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “Mmm-hmm. Just lucky, right? And here I thought you were our genius profiler.”

Spencer looked down at his notes, fighting off a smirk. “Well, the statistics are in my favor today.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Derek laughed, giving Spencer a playful nudge on the shoulder before heading out, leaving Spencer to his files with an amused shake of his head.

+++

"And then what happened?" Penelope asked, leaning forward as she held onto a stress ball, the poor pig's eyes about to burst. "What did he do?"

You glanced around the corner. "Well, we finished the movie and he took me home." A warmth spread across your cheeks. "And-"

"And then what?" JJ asked, blowing lightly into the opening of her coffee cup.

"What do you think?" You chuckled.

"They boinked until sunrise, is what happened," Emily finished with a wicked grin, earning laughs from both Penelope and JJ.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out. "It was not like that!” you protested, though your flushed cheeks probably gave you away. "Not boinking, anyway. What are we? Seventeen?"

Emily hummed. "So what was it like?"

You bit your lip, feeling a wave of warmth at the memory. "It was… gentle," you murmured, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. "His hands—" you trailed off, realizing you were about to reveal more than you intended, and glanced at the girls. They were listening, rapt, Emily arching an eyebrow with a smirk.

“Oh, don’t hold back on us now!” Penelope encouraged, leaning forward with eager eyes.

You chuckled, cheeks warming. “Fine, fine. He was just... careful, you know? Every touch felt intentional, like he was memorizing everything.” You sighed, a dreamy look slipping onto your face. “He didn’t rush anything, just made sure I was comfortable. And every time I thought I couldn’t fall any harder, he’d just… do something that proved me wrong.”

JJ put a hand to her chest, looking genuinely moved. “That’s beautiful."

Emily grinned, crossing her arms. “Sounds like Dr. Reid isn’t as shy as we all thought.”

Penelope cocked her head to the side. "This is your... second date?"

You chuckled. "Official one, yeah. We've done coffee and dinner, late night here and there, but not many date-dates."

Penelope’s eyes sparkled as she hugged her stress-ball pig to her chest. “Ohhh, so this is still the honeymoon phase! The butterflies, the ‘just can’t get enough’ looks across the room… I live for this!”

JJ leaned in, her face soft with a warm smile. “That’s actually so sweet, taking it slow like that. You two are really getting to know each other.”

You nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you thought back to all those little moments—the accidental hand brushes, the quiet coffee breaks, the way Spencer would smile when he thought no one else was looking. “Yeah, I think that’s been the best part. There’s no rush, just… enjoying being around each other. I think he makes me a little better just by being there.”

Emily hummed, clearly pleased, and gave you a look full of approval. “See, now that’s the real deal. Anyone can do big romantic gestures, but that steady stuff? That’s where it counts.”

Penelope wiggled her eyebrows. “So, where’s date number three taking you? Besides his apartment."

You smiled, unable to hide your excitement. “We’re going to that art exhibit downtown. He remembered I mentioned it a few weeks ago.”

The girls all cooed, a mix of pride and excitement on their faces.

JJ raised her cup. “To a second date and a good man who pays attention!”

You all clinked cups, sharing a quiet laugh, as your heart warmed with the feeling that they were right—this was something good. Though, Spencer wasn't having such an easy time with Derek in the bullpen.

"Kid, you're sweating."

Spencer shot Derek a look, adjusting his collar nervously. “I’m not sweating,” he replied, though the faint sheen on his forehead said otherwise. Though the winter was just around the corner, it wasn't cold enough to wear such a thick, tall collared sweater indoors.

"Just take it off. It's not a uniform."

Spencer refused again, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he picked up another file. He let his mind wander, attempting to connect pieces. His hand led its way to his collar, tugging just enough for a bit of cool air to fan over his skin.

"What vacuum did you wrestle last night?"

Spencer’s cheeks flushed instantly as he tugged the collar of his sweater back up, trying—and failing—to act casual. “I didn’t… it’s just… we stayed in and watched a movie,” he stammered, though his face was now a telling shade of pink.

Derek raised both eyebrows, clearly amused. “Oh, just a movie, huh?” He chuckled, crossing his arms. “Kid, I know you’re not exactly ‘Captain Experience,’ but even you’ve got to know that a hickey that size means more than just a movie night.”

Spencer’s hand shot up to cover the spot, horrified that he’d missed it entirely. “It’s… it’s nothing. It was an accident,” he insisted, though the tips of his ears were turning red. “Just… it sort of happened.”

Derek shook his head, laughing under his breath. “An ‘accident’ that just so happened to leave a mark the size of a walnut? Look, kid, I’m not judging. In fact,” he added with a grin, “I’m impressed.”

Spencer’s relief vanished in an instant, his heart plummeting as his gaze locked with yours. The laughter and conspiratorial smiles among you, Emily, Penelope, and JJ told him that you’d all probably heard more than he’d hoped.

“Oh my god,” Penelope gasped, pressing a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter. “What happened to gentle?" She asked, turning to face you.

It was your face that turned warm this time. "I- Penelope!"

Penelope grinned mischievously, clearly reveling in your reaction. “Oh, don’t be shy now!” she teased, nudging you playfully. “Here we were, thinking it was all soft touches and whispered nothings. But by the looks of it, there’s a little more spice to the story, hmm?”

Your face warmed further as you sputtered, “Penelope, it was— it’s not—” You glanced over at Spencer, whose entire face had gone scarlet, his hand glued to his collar.

Emily chimed in, crossing her arms with a wicked smirk. “Didn’t realize our genius doctor had it in him. Or was it you who corrupted the poor boy?” she teased, raising her eyebrow at you.

You tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. “We… may have just gotten a little carried away,” you admitted, looking down as your cheeks warmed even more.

JJ chuckled, giving Spencer an encouraging smile. “Hey, we’re just happy for you both. But maybe consider a scarf next time?”

You fiddled with your fingers. "We're all adults here," you said, mostly trying to convince yourself of the fact.

Derek's eyes darted between you and Spencer. "How long has this been happening and why am I just finding out about this?"

Spencer cleared his throat, glancing between you and the group. “Well, um… we’ve been seeing each other for a few months now,” he admitted, his voice gaining a hint of confidence despite the flush still lingering on his cheeks. The moment the words left his mouth, the room erupted into giggles and chatter.

“No way! Months?” Penelope exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement.

“I can’t believe you kept that from us!” Emily chimed in, nudging Spencer playfully. “We need all the details!”

“Right? How did you manage that?” JJ added, a teasing grin spreading across her face. “And why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

You turned to Spencer, eyes wide with horror. “I only told them about the last two dates!” you hissed, shooting him a glare. “You weren’t supposed to spill the beans like that!”

Spencer held up his hands defensively, laughter bubbling beneath the surface. “I didn’t think it was a big deal! I thought you’d already told them.”

Derek leaned back against a desk, clearly enjoying the chaos. “So you’ve been playing it cool for months while we’ve all been in the dark? Impressive!”

Penelope pulled on Morgan's shirt. "Let's let the two of them talk it out. It seems like they need to work on communication a bit." She looked at you over her shoulder. "And don't think you're off the hook, missy."

You raised your hands defensively, a sheepish grin creeping onto your face. “I didn’t mean to keep it a secret! It just… kind of happened, and I didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding ridiculous.”

The two of you are left mostly alone. There's a beat of silence before you begin to giggle. "Oh, Spence. They're going to want to hear everything."

He hummed. "At least they don't know about our weekend in Charleston." He looked at you. "Unless you told them already."

You felt your cheeks warm at the mention of Charleston, the memories flooding back with a rush of fondness and excitement. “No, I didn’t tell them about that,” you admitted, trying to keep your voice steady. “That was just for us. I thought we agreed to keep it under wraps."

Spencer inched his hand closer to yours, overlapping his pinky with yours. "At least I can kiss you when I want."

Your breath caught at his touch, the simple gesture sending a warm flutter through your chest. You turned to him, a playful smile breaking through your nervousness. “Well, when you put it that way…”

Spencer’s gaze softened as he leaned in just a fraction closer, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “I mean, who could resist kissing you after a weekend like that?”

You chuckled softly, your heart racing at the way his eyes held yours, full of warmth and affection. “It was a pretty unforgettable weekend, that’s for sure.”

“Exactly,” he said, his voice lowering just slightly as he maintained eye contact. “And it’s nice to have our own little secrets, don’t you think?”

“Definitely,” you replied, feeling a rush of excitement at the thought of sharing something so special and intimate just between the two of you. “It makes it feel more… personal.”

“Just for us,” he echoed, his pinky still intertwined with yours, grounding you in the moment.

You hesitated for a moment, then took a breath, leaning in just enough to close the distance slightly. “So, about those kisses…” you teased, your heart racing.

Spencer grinned, his expression playful yet tender. “I think I can arrange that,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Before you could react, he tilted his head slightly, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle, sweet kiss. It was soft and lingering, filled with all the unspoken affection you both felt. When he pulled back, his eyes sparkled with a mixture of mischief and tenderness.

“Okay, that was definitely worth keeping our little adventures a secret,” you said, trying to catch your breath, a smile stretching across your face.

[stories-and-chaos]

Shrike: Body Count

[Hazbin Hotel reader insert as Alastor’s “darling life and death partner” Ace x ace relationship, both parties are moderately sex favorable. I’ve been seeing some stories about Alastor not having understanding the slang for ‘body count,’ so here’s my take.]

[Word count: 1426 Cw: language]

—————

“Really Angel? That’s your bonding activity for the day?” Vaggie’s single eye glared at the lanky spider.

“Whaaaaaat? Charlie wants us to share intimate secrets!” Angel Dust’s voice was full of seductive mischief. “Body count is a very intimate secret. Tells you a lot about someone.”

“Angie’s right!” A cheerful voice called from across the parlor. Cherri Bomb, the hotel’s newest sort-of-resident, didn’t seem much interested in redemption for herself. She did however have a genuine desire to help Angel and to defend what Sir Pentious gave his life for. The busty cyclops was teaming up with Vaggie as part of the Hazbin Hotel’s basic security.

She also had a mischievous streak wider than her friend’s. “I’ll start, give ya a hand Angie.” Angel snorted a laugh saying, “I’ve already got six toots!” She threw an ice cube from her drink at him. “One thousand eight hundred and twenty…” she paused to count on her fingers, “six. Most o’ that’s from Hell. I got to thirty-one before I died.” She leaned back on her couch, looking very satisfied.

Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer could only stare for a moment. “Whoo, nice going Cherri! I knew you wouldn’t disappoint,” Angel crowed. “Lesse here, before I died it was six. After that…” he did some quick math on his phone, “about 90,000? I’m sure we can review my body…of work to confirm.” He grinned lavisciously.

Charlie waved her hands rapidly. “Nope! No no no no no thank you Angel, you’ve shown us plenty that of that during ‘show and tell’ day.” Lucifer looked vaguely disappointed at missing out so Angel resolved to sneak a copy of his favorite performances to the king of Hell.

Charlie continued, forgetting her dad was in the room. “Mine is six,” she said with a shy air, her pale complexion turning bright red.

“WHAT?” Lucifer spat out his tea.

“Oh shit! Dad!” Charlie was flustered but did her best to compose herself. “I mean, I’m over 200 years old now, I’ve been living on my own for decades!” She took her girlfriend’s hand and squeezed it. “Besides, Vaggie is the only one that matters now.” The long haired angel gave her a watery look.

“Well…I guess you’re right sweetheart. So long as they all treated by little girl right?” Lucifer asked with an edge to his voice. At Charlie’s nod he said “Good.” He took a sip of tea before providing his number. “Seventeen.”

“Dad?! I thought…you and Mom…what?!”

Lucifer shrugged. “I don’t kiss and tell Charlie. But your mother knows about all of them. She was even there for some.” He grinned wickedly, looking completely like the king of Hell for once.

Charlie buried her face in her hands while Vaggie rubbed her back in sympathy. “Not too shabby short king. Okay Vags, you’re up!” Vaggie glared at him and flipped him off. “Just our fearless leader?” Angel teased. She huffed, glanced back and forth, and held up her index finger as she blushed. “Thank you for your honesty, Vagina. Huskiekins, how about you?” Angel turned around on the couch to face the bar as Vaggie bristled.

Husk sighed as he continued polishing glasses. “Three when I was alive. Nine since I died.” He was fully prepared for Angel to say something like “Wanna make it ten?” but he just received four thumbs up from the somewhat reformed demon.

“Apologies for our lateness,” your voice called from the elevator. “Alastor had to rewrap my wing this morning.” You and your husband walked arm in arm to the group, with Alastor making sure you were comfortable before taking his own seat. Once he was ensconced in the wingback chair, long legs crossed politely, Lucifer popped up to inspect your wing.

“Hm, not bad.” He had you stretched it gently and gave Alastor an approving nod. “Good work deer boy.”

“Oh ho, of course my good fellow!” The lack of static filter on his voice was the most display of annoyance he would give at the moment. He hated the idea of any man touching you, much less Lucifer Morningstar. But he knew he didn’t know how to help your wing injuries without the fallen angel’s help. “I am a quick study after all! Can’t let my darling rely on someone that might not be around, hm?” His smile widened as Lucifer’s growl showed his comment hit home. “So! What are we discussing today, chums?”

“Ooooh, this is gonna be good,” Cherri giggled as Angel replied. “Body count, Smiles. Before and after death for the Sinners in the group. So, what about you and the missus?”

“An odd topic, but alright. You’ve kept a better count than me, cher. If we count the one right before our death mine is seventy-four?” Jaws dropped at your statement.

“That sounds correct. I had eighteen before we met, and a few solo after our initial encounter. That makes ninety-seven for myself,” he said, looking up to calculate mentally. “I believe after my arrival here, my count is five thousand thirty-one. Give or take a dozen.”

You nodded as Cherri breathed “hooooly shiiiiiit,” with an impressed look. “Mine is still more modest, four thousand six hundred and two. Again, give or take a dozen. Of course, about half of those we did together.”

Alastor hummed in satisfaction. “Oh ho, yes that’s true. Would that increase or decrease our original counts? Or should we have a separate list for couples?”

“Fuck me, I didn’t think they were capable of that,” Cherri said in awe. Lucifer blinked one eye, then the other as his brain tried to catch up. Charlie had her hands over her ears and Vaggie was rubbing her temples. On the other hand, Angel and Husk were sharing a confused look.

“Doll face, Smiles, what kind of body count are ya talking about?” He remembered the discussion about your sexual preferences and the numbers didn’t add up. The simultaneous head tilts from you both confirmed his suspicions.

“Is there more than one kind of body count?” Alastor followed up your question with his own, “How can there be more than one kind of body count?”

“We’re talkin bout how many people we’ve slept with.” Angel paused, remembering your difficulty understanding innuendos. “I mean how many we’ve fucked. Boned. Had sex with.” At his clarification you looked somewhat less confused.

“Why would that be called a body count?” you wondered as Alastor looked surprised at Angel’s explanation. “I’m impressed Angel, I didn’t expect you to explain anything.” Audio of an audience applauding resounded in the room.

The spider shrugged. “I promised your gal I’d explain innuendos if she’d tell me what you two do when ya fuck. Ain’t gonna go back on my word, ‘specially with this cutie.” He winked and stuck his tongue out at the two of you.

“Okay, what's your sexy body count then?” Cherri, disappointed that the thousands you mentioned weren’t people you slept with, was even more curious now.

“One,” you and Alastor said in unison.

Cherri spluttered a bit at the difference between the two kinds of counts while Angel nodded sagely. “Yeah, that tracks, considering you’re both ace as spades and the weird shit you’ve done.”

Lucifer, unsurprised at the amount of death and destruction Overlords were capable of, did look intrigued by that. “What do you mean, ‘weird shit they’ve done?’” Vaggie clapped her hands over her ears as Charlie buried her face into the other girl’s hair in embarrassment. Cherri Bomb nodded encouragement to you.

“NO!” Husk and Angel yelled out together. Angel looked straight up panicked as Husk dashed over to block Alastor and you from view with his wings. “Trust me Luci, you don’t wanna know,” Angel stressed, grabbing the short man by the shoulders. “It broke my brain. Mine. The porn star. Don’t ask ‘em.”

“Is the fact that we’ve [redacted] really that upsetting?” Alastor asked from behind Husk’s feathers. “I think it’s more that we’ve done things like [oh no, not this again], cher,” came your cheerful reply.

Husk pressed his wings back, covering both your mouths. “Boss, Y/N, please stop.” Niffty choose that moment to scramble up Alastor’s shoulder and peek over Husk’s wing. “They’ve done [bleepitybleep] too!”

All heads whipped in her direction. The tiny maid looked proud of herself as she added, “My body count is five! Just one from life. That one counts for my murder count too!”

“Okay, new topic!” Charlie stood up abruptly, her face as red as her tuxedo jacket. “Umm, uhhhh, let’s talk about favorite foods!”

—————

Taglist: @whitewolfsoldat @edgyboi10000 @ch3sire-blu3 @clearly-awkward @badatpunz @bengewatch @chewbrry

[maxespurr]

While We're Alone

Warning: Smut (it's just fingering in the kitchen lol) ,18+ Only, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Natasha comes over to the Maximoff household to pick up Wanda and the boys. While Billy and Tommy get ready upstairs, Natasha is unable to keep her hands to herself and Wanda is unable to resist.

Set on Earth-838

Words: 1012

A/N: This fic features the same 838-WandNat from my other fic Disconnect but with less angst :) A holiday fic if you squint hard enough.

---

"Mom! Auntie Nat is here!"

Wanda turned around to face her boys who were preoccupied with squeezing the life out of Natasha, the sight bringing a smile to her face. "Natasha! Perfect timing. I just finished baking all the pies," she greeted while untying her apron and hanging it up. She eyed the older woman's outfit for the evening and involuntarily swallowed when she found Natasha handsome in a black blazer and white hoodie and tight denim jeans.

It was a killer combo that made Wanda weak.

Natasha noticed the way Wanda was staring at her and smirked. She'd be lying to herself if she didn't find Wanda's domestic look attractive. The brunette's hair was tight up in a messy bun with some strands fallen out of place while the sleeves of a familiarr red and black checkered flannel were rolled up to her elbows. "Three pies? You really outdid yourself," she commented while Wanda packed the pies into their own individual cardboard box.

"Well, the holiday gathering is going to be bigger than last year from what Dr. Richards told me." Wanda looked down at her pies proudly then turned to her boys. "Billy. Tommy. It's time to get ready."

"Okaaaaay," Billy answered obediently and headed to the foot of the stairs.

"Mom, can I bring my Switch to the party?" Tommy looked up at her with puppy eyes.

Wanda gave him a playful, light knock on the head before planting a kiss on his forehead. "No, but if you behave at the party, I can ask Dr. Richards if you and Billy can play in the VR room."

Tommy's eyes brightened and cheered with a loud 'whoo!' before dashing up the stairs after his brother.

Wanda chuckled then began placing all her pans into the sink to let them soak. She felt Natasha follow after her and could already feel the redhead had something up her sleeves.

"Need help with anything?" Natasha offered, nodding towards the pile of dishes. Wanda shook her head.

"I spent all afternoon baking. I'll worry about washing tomorrow. But you can help with something else," Wanda proposed as she pressed herself against Natasha, a hand slipping to gently grasp the back of the older woman's neck to guide her closer for a kiss. She could feel Natasha smirk against her lips as they kissed and shuddered when wandering hands settled on her hips.

"By the way, is that my flannel?"

This time it was Wanda's turn to smirk. "It's mine now. You left it here last time you were over. It's very comfortable so I don't have any plans on giving it back."

Natasha pulled away slightly and clicked her tongue. "Is that so?"

"It is so. I'm sure you don't have a problem with that since it's not the first time you've let me have your-- Natasha!" Wanda hissed when she realized Natasha unbuttoned her jeans with a hand already slipping beneath her underwear. She whimpered when she felt fingers already toying with her clit. "Don't...! The boys are upstairs, and I still need to get ready!" Wanda bit down on her lower lip when Natasha slid a finger inside of her, failing to stifle her moans.

Natasha hummed, clearly unbothered as she slipped another finger inside of Wanda, the latter gasping and one hand clutching at her jacket. "I guess I'll have to make this quick," she remarked then leaned into Wanda's ear to whisper. "Shouldn't take long since you were already soaked before I touched you. Were you expecting this?" Wanda whined in response, which Natasha took as a yes and found incredibly cute, making her want to ruin Wanda more.

Wanda's free hand gripped the kitchen counter tightly when she felt Natasha pumping her fingers even faster. She no longer had control of her body, with her lips parted and clear moans spilling out as Natasha drove her over the edge. It was when the spy's deft fingers pulled out of her to rub at her clit that Wanda finally came, shuddering violently against the older woman. Her hips twitched involuntarily when Natsha pulled out and felt another throb between her legs as she watched Natasha tasted her from her fingers. Both knew there was no time for another round, but Wanda relaxed against the other woman feeling spent but content.

"Next time, let me take you out for a weekend. Just the two of us. I'll take you out for dinner and we can explore the city," Natasha brought up suddenly, her clean hand affectionately combing through Wanda's hair. Wanda had never seen the former Avenger looked so nervous before. "I... want you to know I'm serious about you. You and the boys."

Wanda couldn't stop herself from smiling, her heart swelling with happiness. "Maybe for New Years?"

"But what about Billy and Tommy?"

"I'll ask Maria if they could celebrate at her place" she proposed. "It's been a while since the boys have played with Monica, so I'm sure they'd be excited to see her."

"You're sure?" Natasha asked again. Wanda chuckled in amusement and leaned in to kiss the spy's cheek.

"I'm sure. After all, I'm serious about you too, Natasha Romanoff."

Wanda managed to sneak off into her bedroom before her boys found her in her disheveled state. When she stood at the top of the stairs, Billy and Tommy were talking animatedly about what VR game they wanted to play later while Natasha cooly tucked her hands into the pockets of her blazer. Wanda was wearing the faux red wool coat that Natasha gifted her for her birthday this year, and she smiled when she saw Natasha's expression brightened at the fact she was wearing the coat.

Natasha offered to drive them. The boys eagerly helped carry the pies into her sports car. Once Wanda locked the front door, she saw the way Natasha adored Billy and Tommy and the way her boys looked up at her with equal adoration.

Wanda couldn't help but feel how lucky she was to have those three in her life.

---

A/N: Thank you for reading and happy holidays :)

[justice-flonne]

Twitter and the death of Media Literacy

As the original post now has reblogs turned off before this post came out of the queue, looks like I have to make my own

Lemme tackle picture number 2 first. Number one, what the HELL do you mean "normal mentally ill [woman]"?? There's no such thing. There's not even such a thing as normal non-mentally ill. Everyone is different and has different reactions and symptoms. and number two: where the fuck do you get off calling the author a sex pest for the "crime" of exploring her options in brothels (well, i guess maybe it is a crime, i forget how japan's laws are, but still. i better not hear you demanding more rights for sex workers while indirectly demeaning their jobs, ya nitwit)? Being gay (or even just non-conforming, and that's not even just about gender) in Japan, while not as bad as say, the Middle East, is not exactly a walk in the park. She probably at the time of writing didn't have many options, and everybody explores their sexuality in different ways. It's really messed up that you're calling the author a sex pest for describing her life, especially since she did nothing wrong (as in, her encounters were all consensual. again, don't fully know the laws regarding brothels there. i think it's a "we'll pretend we didn't see that" scenario)

This also kinda ties into the downright dangerous idea that an lgbt+ person, lesbians especially, can only be an innocent pure being. that kind of thinking can and HAS gotten people into horrible abuse scenarios

As for the "incest"... whoo boy, this is gonna be long:

Now, I have actually read this manga, and I can cite the pages with the supposed "incest" mentioned in the first pic. I'd elaborate, but I'm admittedly quite bad at that, so I'll let the comic speak for itself:

(forgive me if there's any errors in the alt text. it's late 😭)

As you can see, the author does not LITERALLY want to fuck her mother. She has childhood issues from not enough affection (elaborated elsewhere in the book, but I'm tired. read it yourself. i got these pages from a definitely legal website, so can you), and wants to be held and coddled. She even straight up says what she feels is abnormal and yearns for a woman NOT RELATED TO HER to do things with. She KNOWS what she feels is strange and wants to (and eventually DOES) grow from this. I could post more images, but i'm probably pushing my luck as is

Point is, you "adults" really, REALLY need to learn that depiction is not the same as endorsement. Not everything is as cut and dry as the Marquis de Sade. This is, as the damn title says, the author's experience with loneliness as a result of growing up with an emotionally distant mother in a society that is markedly different than America

please, PLEASE, learn to think critically, and i mean "critical" in a "english class analysis" kind of way (for lack of a better term), not a "this thing you like is bad and it offends me" "critical." It's alright to be uncomfortable with things and even to not like things, hell I myself am a HUGE hater, but please, don't throw a tantrum because a real person wasn't a smol bean like you hoped

holy shit i need to go to bed

[justherforfics]

Jessies girl (chapter teaser)

so, i want to again apologize for my bad writing and how long its taken me to get beck into writing, so i wanted to share a teaser for the next chapter, now that im officially back to writing(hopefully)

It's been a year since you first told John B about your crush on JJ. You had thought that it would disappear by now, but unfortunately, it hasn't. During this time of dealing with JJ’s on and off ‘’girl friends” and John B’s comfort and teasing, your group had expanded. This past year, you three had the pleasure of meeting Kiara and the pope. You were glad to see another girl join the group as you were in desperate need of some feminine energy in your life, and even happier when she would tell you all about her best friend Sarah, whoo you just “had too meet”. Pope was good too, he would often talk to you about simpler things that the boys aren't always a fan of like books and history or what was now deemed as “nerd junk”.

Now here you were at the beach with the now formally named “pogues” sitting on a dock, laughing and teasing each other about what's to come.

“How's Jane doing?” kie turns to look at JJ who is currently trying to peel a banana with his toes, and failing.

“Oh…yeah me a jane aren't dating anymore” he shrugs, giving up on his monkey training and just peeling the fruit with his hands.

“That's a shame….she was really nice” pope sighs,

“I guess…” JJ mumbles,

“How many girls have you run through already?” John B laughs

“Too many” kie grumbles and gives you a teasing smile.

“It's not like they do anything with him” John B teases

“What is that supposed to mean?” JJ huffs

“That you still haven't gotten your first kiss” pope joins, laying back to look at the stars. “Hey!!! That's personal information!!” JJ gasps, and throws the peel at pope's face.

As the night moves on, kie and pope get packed up by their parents, leaving just you, JJ and John B. You all sit in a comfortable silence, as the soft sound of bugs chirping and waves against the shore. JB ends up getting up to ask his dad for you and JJ can stay over before the next year of school, leaving you too alone.

After all this time, you still didn't tell JJ or anyone besides John B about your crush on him. But when he moves beside you and leans his head against your shoulder, you thought for a moment he knew. Your heart speeds slightly, as your body tenses. The touch is so soft and innocent. You hear his sigh and he brings his hand to hold yours.

“hey…(y\n)” he called softly, his voice just above a whisper, “you dont think it's bad i haven't had my first kiss … .right?”

You swallow and turn your head slightly to look at him. His blue eyes meet yours, the colour almost hypnotising to answer his question, as if you had a good answer.

“I….i don't know…i…i think it's fine…although, i've never kissed anyone either…”

Hios eyes widen slight as he sits up straighter, “what do you mean you've never been kissed before?!”,A small blush creeps up your face,”youre….youre so beautiful…”

You give him a small thanks, gaze moving to the dock below you, fearing that he can sense your attraction and embarrassment. “I….i guess, i…just haven't found the right guy…”

“Do people make fun of you for it?”

“I…sometimes…at school” you mumble.

After a beat, he moves your position to face him, a proud smile on his face.

“I have a proposition” he states. You laugh slightly at his unusual word choice, but agree to hear him out. “We kiss”

----------------------------------------------------------------

hopefully, this is a good tease for whats to come next, thank you so much for following this series so far. love you, stay safe, no drunk driving.

[impala-dreamer]

We're All Irish Tonight

An SPN Fanfic

~Dean has been pining for Y/N for months now, and he thinks tonight might be the night things finally get going...~

Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester, OCs

1344 Words

Warnings: Jealous!Dean, BAMF!Reader, Fluff. Drinking

A/N: Thought you could all use a fluffy drabble today so I banged this out for ya. Happy St Patrick's Day!

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works  ~  Buy Me A Coffee  ~  Feedback is Gold

The crowd was buzzing with faux Irish pride, only about ten percent of the patrons able to boast any actual connection to the Emerald Isle. But it didn’t matter- tonight, everyone was Irish. The bar was crowded three deep and the trio took turns wading through the sea of drunken green to wave down Chris, the bartender, and order more rounds. 

Y/N was nursing a Guinness like it was poison, but knocking back whiskies like they were the cure. 

“I hate this stuff,” she said behind a hiccup, voice carrying over the throng and across the table to Dean, who was the picture of calm with a thick, foamy mustache. “Tastes like bread!” 

He laughed and licked the head from his lips. “Then why do you keep drinking it?” he yelled back, leaning over the table to get closer to her. 

She shrugged and batted her lashes innocently. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just a dumb floosy at the bar tonight. Besides, everyone’s Irish on Saint Patty’s Day!” 

Seated between them, Sam laughed and rubbed at the back of his neck, feeling for the thousandth time like the third, unwanted wheel on a scooter. “I’ll get you something else when I get back up,” he offered, smiling sweetly at Y/N. 

She was too drunk to really care, but they were having fun. “Nah.” Pushing her chair back, she stood with the pint, downed the rest in one gulp and amazingly did not choke. 

Dean watched her in awe, his green eyes wide, his plump lips gone slack. “Damn.” 

Y/N slammed the empty glass down and cheered. “Whoo! Next one’s on me, boys!” She winked at Dean before turning to the bar and squaring her shoulders, preparing to fight through the noisy masses. 

Dean sat back, staring at her ass as she left. He rubbed his hands down his thighs and whistled with interest. “Ya know, Sammy, tonight might be the night.” 

Sam, having heard this more than a dozen times in the last two months, rolled his eyes and went diving into his beer, hoping to drown or find an escape hatch at the bottom. “Yeah, sure, Dean.” 

“What? You don’t think it’ll happen? Tonight is perfect. Drinks, music, tons of people.” Dean smiled to himself, thinking of the prospects. “Maybe we’ll go for a walk later, find a quiet spot… yada yada… see what happens.” 

There was no help at the bottom of his glass, just a fishbowl view of the grimey table. Sam sighed. “Sure. Just like last week and the week before and that time in Oswego when you were so sure you were gonna hook up. Give it up, Dean. She’s not into you.” 

Dean took it all to heart and slumped down in his chair, crossing his arms. He pouted and then scoffed. “What do you know anyway?” 

Up at the bar, Y/N was waiting for the pints to be drawn, and she herself had drawn some attention from a group of fratboys in various shades of green. One in particular, a blond with pretty blue eyes, was leaning in pretty close, the stench of whiskey and weed on his breath. 

“Come on, baby,” he cooed, pressing himself against Y/N’s shoulder. “You gotta let me pinch you.” 

She spun and lay a playful looking hand on his shoulder while actually pushing him back a step. “Really? And why’s that?” 

He laughed. “Ya ain’t wearin’ green!” 

Y/N licked her lips and gave him another shove backwards. “How do you know?” 

The man ran his hand down her back and moved in again. “I don’t see nothing green on ya, sweetheart.” 

She reeled him in a little closer, whispering. “Well, maybe you just can’t see it over my clothes…”

He sucked in a quick breath through puckered lips and went for it, nearly tumbling over her for a kiss. 

The crack of Y/N’s palm against his cheek rang through the bar like a lightning strike. 

Dean’s head popped up and his eyes narrowed. In an instant, he was at the bar, shoving people aside to get to Y/N.. 

She was standing in the middle of a crowd of morons, one hand on her hip, the other wagging through the air. 

“Don’t you fucking touch a lady without her permission,” she snapped, glaring up at the boy like the Headmistress of a boarding school. 

Blondie got smart and sneered. “I don’t see a lady here,” he barked, arms wide open, looking for a fight. Her handprint bloomed like a rose on his cheek. 

Dean unclenched his fists and his jaw. “Hey! She said back up, buddy.” 

“Who you calling ‘buddy’, pal?” 

“I ain’t your pal,” Dean spat. “And you best take your candy-ass out of here before I paint your other cheek.” 

Dean stepped in, the fratboy countered. Y/N cocked a brow, watching the display. 

The asshole backed down. “Eh, she ain’t worth it anyway.” 

Dean’s shoulders relaxed, but Y/N did not. Stepping between them, she cracked her fist against his other jaw, nearly knocking him over. 

“I am too worth it, ya jackass!”

Sadly, Chris had no choice but to kick Y/N out of the bar, and Dean found her moments later, walking towards home in the chilly night air. Her arms were wrapped around her middle and she walked slowly, kicking at the sidewalk. 

Dean shrugged off his jacket and hung it over her shoulders, startling her a bit. 

“Oh! Hey…” 

He smiled and stepped in front of her to close the top button lest the jacket fall off. She looked terribly small and precious in his oversized coat; too precious to be walking home alone by herself. 

“Ya left without us,” he said, hoping to get a laugh. 

She sighed instead. “Yeah, well… I didn’t want to ruin your night out. Not anymore than I already did, anyway.” 

Dean laughed. “Ruin? Are you kidding me? Watching you beat the crap out of that guy was the highlight of the evening. Hell, of the week.” He turned and slung his arm around her, enjoying the closeness. 

“He really was being a dick. You didn’t see but he was a little grabby…” 

Dean skidded to a halt. “I’ll fuckin’ kill him…” 

“No, no!” Y/N laughed and grabbed his flannel, turning him towards her again. “I was very impressed how you came to my rescue like that.” 

He bit his lip, gazed down with hope in his eyes. “Y/N, if I know anything about you, it’s that you don’t need rescuing. But still, if he comes near you again, I will stab him in the throat.” 

Another laugh knocked her head back and Dean couldn’t stand it any longer. Without a plan, without a thought, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. The moment was brief but not without the shock of truth and they both gasped when space lengthened between them. 

“You… kissed me.” Her eyes were wet and her skin was flushed. Her fingers curled tighter around his flannel. 

He blushed, licked his lip, dipped his chin. “I did, yeah.” 

Stunned, she hung there for a long moment, eyes caressing his face, unable find any words at all. 

Dean grew anxious and cleared his throat. “You’re thinkin’ about laying me out like you did that asshole, aren’t you?”

Slowly, she shook her head and smiled. “Actually, I was thinking about kissing you back…” 

Their lips met under the streetlight, with the noise from the bar lost in the background. Dean wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close while she slipped her tongue between his lips, tasting, exploring, begging for more. 

When she let him go, he looked down, awed and drunk and happy for the first time in a long time. 

“Well, I guess today is lucky after all,” he whispered. 

Y/N shook her head, laughing gently. “You’re not Irish, Dean.” 

He inhaled deeply, pulling in the memory of the moment as his arms tightened around her. “Baby, tonight, we’re all Irish.” 

2023 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

@aditimukul @agirlwithdemonblood @amanda-teaches @akshi8278 @alwayskeepfightingsweetheart @b3autyfuldisast3r @babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @because-imma-lady-assface @bloodline1632 @charred-angelwings @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @covered-byroses @djs8891 @deanwinchesterswitch @deansyahtzee @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @iamsapphine @idreamofdeanie @ilsawasanacrobat @impalaspixie @jawritter @justcallmeasmodeus @kazsrm67 @kittenofdoomage @leigh70 @lovealways-j @lyarr24 @mariekoukie6661 @maggiegirl17 @mistressofallthingsgeeky @pandaxo79 @peachy-vans @rachiem4-blog @roseblue373 @sacriceria @samwellwinchesterthebrave @sexyvixen7 @spideysimpossiblegirl @spnexploration @stevekempscocktails @the-wounded-healer05 @thoughts-and-funnies @vulgar-library 

[glassprism]

I'm asking this as someone who absolutely ADORES Lucy St. Louis as Christine, do you think Lucy would have been cast as Christine if Covid never happened?

Kelly Mathieson did say at the time that she was going to be leaving at the 2020 Cast Change, so we would have been getting a new Christine regardless

But, I have always had this feeling, due to the other circumstances that occurred in Phantom London at the time, that Lucy St. Louis' casting as Christine was a bit of a "Consolation Prize"/"Compensation?"

Am I alone in this mindset?

I think she would have been cast, but it would have been very different circumstances from how it happened in 2020.

For one thing, IMO COVID-19 and the subsequent shutdown provided a perfect excuse for CamMack and co. to shutter the original West End production and push in their modified version. So had COVID-19 not occurred, the original West End production might very well still be going, albeit with some changes regardless (I know that even before the shutdown, the Golden Angel had stopped working and the technology for it was too old for them to fix, so something might have changed there). So Lucy St Louis might very well have been cast as Christine, and there would probably still have been huge fanfare for her as the first black Christine in Phantom on West End if she was indeed the first, but it would have been as a replacement Christine, perhaps even an alternate, not as the original principal Christine of the West End revival.

But additionally... I do agree with you that Lucy St Louis's casting, right when it was announced that the original West End production had been shut down and they were opening a new, modified version... yeah, it was something of a diversionary marketing practice. I know some people don't like that argument, for understandable reasons, as it seems to downplay Lucy St Louis's considerable talents, her deserved fame now, and all the work it took her to get to where she is now.

But ignoring that most every actor gets where they are through a combination of talent, work, and plain good luck and connections (see, for an extreme example, Katie Knight Adams being cast as Christine because CamMack wanted her in the role), I also don't see this a a knock against Lucy St Louis at all. Rather, it's pointing out what should be obvious now: companies and corporations will use diversity as a marketing tactic. They will! They know it's something people want to see, they know it gives them "virtuous corporation" points or whatever you want to call it, and they know if they do it, people will sigh and go, "Okay, they did so-and-so sucky things, but on the other hand they are trying to be more inclusive and representative of minorities, so I guess they're okay..."

And I think that was exactly what CamMack and co. were doing here: "Okay, the phans are going to be mad at us for doing this, but what if we did this..." It's a case of being mad at the higher-ups for their cynical use of diversity as a marketing ploy and sop to fans, not to downgrade Lucy St Louis (who is also one of my favorite Christines!) or say she was "only" cast because she's black. None of this is on Lucy St Louis, it's on the people in charge of the show, and it just sucks because, just like the circumstances of the West End revival, it creates this pall on her casting which she does not deserve.

And yet... and yet... IMO had the COVID shutdown not happened, I don't think Lucy St Louis would have been cast in 2020; I think hers or similar casting would have occurred far, far later down the line, because as much as ALW and co. were talking a big talk about diversity, it sure wasn't happening that much in Phantom pre-COVID. (Like, whoo, we got Ali Ewoldt, Jordan Donica, and Rodney Ingram in 2016-2017, but do we get anyone else after? Nope. Oh boy, we got our first Asian Raoul in the West End in the year of our Lord 2019 and he's an understudy, let's celebrate guys.)

And I know this is all speculation, I don't know anything about this alternate timeline other than guesses... but it brings up that conundrum of what are we willing to accept. When is casting diversely okay? Is it all right even when it's being done to make money? Should we expect corporations to do it "out of the goodness of their heart"? When are the benefits of representation and helping minorities feel seen outweighed by the fact that this was done for purely marketing practices? It's something I think a lot of people are grappling with in this era. And I don't have an answer for you on that.

[chimaerakitten]

re: directors commentary ask game, tell us something about the murderbot leverage crossover!

ooooh that's a fun one! So I have talked about this particular thing in a few places before, but not ever in-depth, so go guess now's the time!

One of the big challenges of the first 5ish chapters of that fic was arranging it so the leverage crew never use any pronouns to refer to Murderbot, without it being obvious that's what they were doing. I decided on that path because it seemed the most elegant way to not have any judgement calls from me about what pronouns murderbot would choose while undercover, whether it/its is in common use as a pronoun set for humans, whether it would use she/her long term for Rin like it did very briefly in rogue protocol, or use they/them or some other nonbinary pronoun.... it was all going to be noticeable to readers if I mace a choice, and possibly feel disrespectful to people who have one opinion of another, or who use it/its in real life.

But sidestepping that challenge left me with the bigger one of writing naturalistic narration and dialogue that also never used any 3rd person pronouns for MB at all. It was fine in MB's POV obviously, since that's all first person and the one time it refers to "Rin" in the third person it's obviously distancing that persona from itself, so the pronouns didn't matter. but for the leverage crew... whoo boy it was tough in spots (not in other spots, because in natural conversation people do drop the subject out of sentences pretty often, because everyone knows what they're talking about. I just couldn't use that trick all the time.)

And THEN there was another layer of difficulty because I was doing all this work and I couldn't talk about it! The whole point was for nobody to notice until at least after we were through that section of the story.

Ultimately tho I did manage to keep my mouth shut about it until after, and it seemed to go about how I wanted it. Sequin was beta-reading for me and did notice, as did a couple other people reading closely, and since then plenty of people have seen the note where I was like "and this chapter MB got its pronouns back!" and realized what I'd been doing in hindsight, but for the most part it seems to have been invisible and nowhere is the sentence structure SO awkward that everybody pings, so I can call the whole endeavor a success.

[voidchildstar]

Yeah,it's gotten bad. So,it turns out ahhh,we are supporting the wrong side. We can hate rashtas actions but not her reasons because whoo boy,it's a lot. Navier becames unlikeable in season 2 and 3. Heinry,is a piece of crud,ergi is a toxic manipulative piece of crap,Kaufman is creepy same with sovieshu who is a whole ass idiotic and an idiot. It turns out : Heinly killing Duke Zimensia by torturing the man himself, without giving the duke any trial. Later massacred the whole dukedom including innocent people. And as usual he didn't face any consequences for it.

Lotteshu iterally lied to make Rashta look guilty. Besides I've better things to do, like what to do with this promissory note? In the past, Rashta gave it to Baron Lante to use it under her name. That backfired during her trial. It was such an unnecessary move from the charity board. The author had to make sure Rashta got slam dunked by every angle. Navier couldn't come forward with the allegation because of Kosair's attempted poisoning to Rashta's child and she covered for her baby killer brother. So author found a way to make Rashta's crime come to light through the director of the charity board. It's all fine and dandy when people who support MC, attempt to murder unborn children but it's bad when Rashta gave the money to charity under her name. She needed to be publicly shamed for it too, where kosair's sin never came to light. No wonder he got along well with the psycho named Heinley. Birds of same feathers flock together.

Also,if you're very supported Alan,please don't because Alan is disgusting and a slaver like his father. It turns out he's the one who literally entrapped rashta in this so called student x teacher marriage and the fact he was sympathize by a lot of those toxic happy readers because he's a good man. He is not a good man,he is a disgusting grapist. Turns out having sexual intercourse with a slave is basically grape(r*PE censored word). Also,if you wanna say rahsta is in the wrong,yeah she is but she's basically done those to survive. Not to mention,it's clearly normal for royal people to take in concubines,what sovieshu did wrong is always treating rashta like a child because he can't handle communication. Not to self,rashta is literally younger so take that as a word. Also,please note the claims she abandoned her child are wrong,she didn't know her son was still alive and she gave birth to him when she was very very young. Too young like maybe 13 or 18 at the time.

Wanna know the whole story,read this fic because it entails a lot of what's wrong with remarried empress:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47891629/chapters/121109887#workskin

OH

MY

GODDDD

Did they get a new writer or something cause AIN'T NO WAY- There's literally so much to unpack here i can't even- not Navier becoming unlikable- I literally hate those types of mcs- and I guess Rashta is a victim now??? Crazy-

Thanks for the warning- if I ever start reading it again (which I probably won't tbh) I'll do a rant post about it

[dreamsallalongthewatchtower]

CH 1. Sin City

Summary: The daggers arrive in Las Vegas and it's just the beginning. Jake sets his sights on a girl he has to get know. Natasha meets an old friend and catches up.

Notes: Mentions of Alcohol, nothing too bad 18+ MINORS DNI

Word Count: 2.3k

Bradley, Jake and Bob were starting to get antsy. Knowing they should wait for the rest of the squad to join, the excitement of Vegas was starting to seep its way into the minds of Jake and Bradley. “We know where we’re all going to end up tonight so we might as well get a jump on the fun and go somewhere. It’s pointless to wait for the other three.” Jake suggested from the bathroom. “For once you are absolutely right Bagman. I heard this place called House of Blues is supposed to be a cool place, let’s start there and see where we are before we meet up with everyone else.” Bradley added. “I don’t know guys it would be fun to get out of the room, but shouldn’t we wait?” Bob asked cautiously. “Come on Floyd, I bet even you get laid this trip, the sooner we start the better chances you have.” Jake quipped. “Yeah Bob, and it’s not like we are going to go score drugs or head to a strip club, it’s the House of Blues, we’ll listen to some music and figure the rest out.” Bradley added. “I guess there is no harm in getting out onto the strip. Alright let’s go” Bob said putting on his shirt “Whoo!” Both Rooster and Hangman cried out. After five minutes the trio headed to The House of Blues.

After finding open seats at the bar the three men settle on a corner that faced the stage. While waiting for the next act Jake ordered beers for himself and Bradley and a ginger ale for Bob. “Here ya go boys,” the bartender said to them “First one is on the house for our fine military men.” the lady said as she walked away. “Looks like our luck has just started boys.” Bradley let out. “Please welcome to the stage long time favorite Maya Atwell.” A voice over the speakers announced. A tall slender women walked out onto the stage. Her unruly hair tucked into a ball cap that was placed backwards on her head let the crowd see her soft features and her blue eyes. “Hi everyone, how’s everyone’s night going?” The sultry voice asked. The crowd responded with a chorus of woos, whistles and hands clapping. “Those of you who are new, I’m Maya and I can play just about any song, for those of you who know the drill welcome on back. Let’s give a huge round of applause to Mike the owner slash manager and to the fine ladies you see around here serving.” Maya waited for the crowd to follow her orders and for the cheering to die down. “Normally I take requests, but I have plans later tonight so I’m going to be doing a short set of covers tonight. This first one” She continues as she tuned her guitar “Is by my favorite man in black. As always if you know it sing along and if you don’t I want you on your feet dancing. This is Walk the Line by Johnny Cash.” The sultry voice that was speaking to the crowd was not the same powerhouse voice that started on the song. Jake, Bradley, and Bob were all amazed. They stood in front of their stools and sang along with Maya. When the song finished the crowd erupted into applause. “I can’t believe a girl like that knows Johnny Cash” Jakes yelled to his counterparts. “Yeah, she’s something.” Bob added. “Alright this next one is one I love listening to growing up, this is for all of you who are infected with Beatlemania.” The singer started playing Hey Jude. “Damn bro, she is versatile. Who goes from Cash to The Beatles!” Bradley asked his friends. By the end of the song the singer had stopped playing and let the crowd finish out the song. “Okay” Coaxed the singer. “Last one for the night, this is one that I hold dear to my heart it was the first one I learned to play, and I hope I do it justice.” As soon as she started the first notes Jake recognized the song right away “Now she’s playing Nirvana! I have to meet this girl!” As Maya finished Come As You Are, everyone was on their feet applauding her. “Thank You House of Blues! Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.”

The singer exited the stage and appeared on the other side of the bar. “Let’s go meet her.” Jake suggested. “You’re crazy if you think I’m going to go talk to the girl who can command the whole place like that.” Bob interjected. “Come on Bob, what kind of wing man are you?” Jake asked “I’m not a wing man I’m a weapons system operator” Bob responded dryly. “Look do me this favor and I can owe you anything, anywhere, any time. Okay?” Jake added. “Okay, let’s go talk to her.” Bob said in a defeated tone. The three men approached the singer and watched her finish a bottle of water. “Excuse me ma’am can I get the lady a glass of whatever wine she prefers?” Jake asked the bartender. The bartender looked at Maya, and back at Jake and let out a little chuckle. “This gentleman wants to buy you a glass of wine.” The bartender repeated to Maya. Maya smirked before she responded. “No thanks, I’ll take my usual Lola.” Maya said turning her back to the three men. Lola poured a double neat of Eagle Rare into a glass for Maya. This choice of drink made even Jake blush. A woman who knows her liquor. Jake stepped to the other side of her to talk with her more. “You like whiskey, I like that in a woman. I’m lieutenant Jake Seresin.” Jake said, putting his hand out to shake Maya’s hand. “Well lieutenant, I’m Maya, and Eagle Rare is actually a bourbon and I dont just like it, I love it. Best drink to have after a show.” Bradley let out a cough causing both Jake and Maya to whip their heads in his direction. “How rude of me, this is lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw and lieutenant Robert Floyd.” Jake said as Maya waved to the two other men. “Nice to meet you.” At that moment Maya felt her phone buzz in her pocket. It was a text from her friend that she is ready to meet for dinner. “Looks like that’s my cue. Thanks for coming and seeing the show, hope you boys have fun in Vegas.” Maya said as she threw back her drink. “See you later Lola.” “Wait can I get your number?” Jake asked, blocking her path from the door. “Maybe some other time Ken doll.” Maya side-stepped Jake and left through the front door. Bob and Bradley erupted in laughter. “Oh man, that was almost worth coming over here. So glad you owe me.” Bob said in between his laughs. “Shut up. Who knows maybe we’ll run into each other this week.” Jake said with a hint of hope. “Hey, I just got a text from the others they are at the hotel and want to meet up on the strip.” Bradley said. Silencing anymore laughter him or Bob had left. The three men left the House of Blues and headed back to the hotel.

Maya walked into Bubbas Gump’s Shrimp Co. looking for her friend. The hostess asked if she was looking for someone. Before Maya could respond a pair of hands were spinning her around and embracing her tightly. “Oh Ashes, I can’t believe it’s been three years!” a familiar voice squealed in Maya’s ear. When the girl pulled away, Maya saw her best friend. “Natasha! I can’t believe you’re here.” Maya responded. When the reunion of friends ended the two women were shown to a table on the upper patio. “So, how has Vegas been since the last time I saw you?” Phoenix asked. “It’s been good, still working off a couple of debts but I’m so close to being a free woman.” Maya said looking over the strip. “How has the navy been?” Maya asked, turning her full attention to her friend. “It’s been good to me, I got called back to Top Gun. A special priority mission, the best of the best.” Phoenix said puffing her chest and flexing her biceps. “You’ll never guess who else they called back.” Phoenix started. “Fucking Rooster.” Phoenix finished. “For as much as you talk about him, you either want to be with him or you truly hate him, so, which is it?” Maya asked her friend. Before Phoenix got a chance to answer a waiter came by to take their drink order. “Okay, so what have you got planned for this week?” Phoenix asked curiously about her friend’s plans. “Well first and foremost we’ll have VIP bottle service everywhere we go. But I have a couple nights planned on the strip to keep your buddies happy, then a few dinners, a day at the Bellagio cypress pool bar. I made an appointment for us with a special someone for tattoos and we have the Florida Georgia Line Concert tomorrow night.” Maya finished. “I can’t believe you are opening for them; how did you land that gig?” Natasha asked. Maya looked at her friend and looked out over the strip once more. “Oh, you know me Nix, I have my ways. Besides, the owner couldn’t find someone who was willing to be paid so little. I figured I could just have him put it towards what I owe.” Maya responded as the waiter came back over with their drinks. “What can I get ya’ll started with?” The waiter asked. The two women ordered a few appetizers and a couple cocktails. “What do you plan on doing after you have paid your debt?” Natasha asked, trying to meet her friend’s gaze. Maya looked down trying to search her head for an answer. She already knew what she was going to do. She was going to get the hell out of Las Vegas and never look back. But she didn’t want to let her friend in on the last surprise of her birth week. “Ashes, you know you are always welcomed at my house and I’m sure your aunt would love to see you.” Natasha added when her friend didn’t respond. “HA! The only time she calls is when she wants to update her friends on her pathetic niece.” Maya responded sharply. “Hey! You are not pathetic! You would be pathetic if you stayed with Elijah and kept doing drugs. But you chose to get better, and you chose to make a better life for yourself. The first call I got from you when you got here sounded like you were in your favorite book. Living like Hunter S. Thompson, I was truly worried. But you got help and you are paying back your debt. I couldn’t be prouder. I’m sure your aunt is just worried.” Natasha finished. “Yeah, well you don’t know her like I do, and you definitely don’t want to hear our conversations. But I digress. I might bounce around New York or go visit some friends in Tucson.  I’m not sure yet.” Maya said with a smirk, knowing she would be hounded until she gave her friend a real answer. The food and drinks came, and the two women sat reminiscing about their friendship and catching each other up on their current situations.

“So, my place is a little ways outside of town but it’s huge. It’s on loan from a friend of mine who won’t be back until winter. She is this really cool old lady. I wish you could meet her. She would love all the soldiers staying in her house.” Maya said as the two women waited for the bill. When the waiter put the little black checkbook on the table Natasha reached for it. “Um what do you think you are doing?” Maya asked. Snatching the book from her friends grasp. “I want to pay, plus I can get a discount.” Natasha responded. “No let me get this, okay?” Maya asked but was more or less telling her friend she had the bill. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you there was this guy earlier. He tried to buy me a glass of wine and wanted my number.” Maya started. “Was he cute?” Natasha asked. “I mean yeah, he wasn’t horribly disfigured, but he was so cocky and kind of had this fuck boy vibe. The type for hooking up and not anything serious. But him and his buddies looked like they were here for a bachelor party, not the type to come to Vegas to gamble and see the sights.” Maya responded. “Did you give him your number?” Natasha inquired. “Yeah right. No, I told him some other time, then I called him Ken doll!” Maya said laughing. “Poor guy, had no clue he was finished before he even started.” Natasha said. The two women left the restaurant, stepping out into the cool Nevada air. “Text your buddies to meet us at On The Record, by the time they get there they we'll be able to start the birth week.” Maya said, leading Phoenix to her car. After a quick trip to the parking garage behind the nightclub the two women’s spirits were high and ready to party.

[blueberrybladelemonade]

Masquerade

Evil Y/N x Evil Peppino

Was writing a different fic and then I scrolled through @pervertedindividual 's evil Peppino comics and @angelofpizza 's drawings and randomly got inspired, in a way, and made this instead x)

Summary: Peppino has done some unsavory crimes. What he doesn't know is your just as evil, if not more so, than he is and he has trouble processing it. 

Contains: Mentions of murder, Death, Dark theme, Description of murders, Kinda crazy mutual possessive love, Y/N might be more evil than Peppino, The Birds (well A bird) attack, Swearing is caring, somewhat crackish in a part or two (trust me you'll know where)

"Do you wanna hide a body?" You sing to yourself, a cleaver glinting in the light as swings downward. "It doesn't have to be in one piece!" A sickening crunch fills your ears followed by a heavy thud. 

"Whoo boy, I'm gonna need more bleach"!

You slump into the chair with a sigh as the pressure is taken off your feet. As you relaxed, the tingling in your arms grew into a throbbing pain. That was going to feel great in the morning. You think before staring at the stone counter, watching as thick red lines down onto the tile floor. You grimace, knowing you still haven't even gotten to the cleaning part of the job. 

From another room you heard a faint chime. It was almost too far away -that if you moved- you might've missed it. 

Was it that late already? The chiming grew more frantic and loud. You grumble, reluctantly getting to your feet as you make your way out of the garage and into your home. 

I guess I should eat something while I'm at it. 

* * * * * 

Peppino wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. In one final motion he slams the dumpster shut. That had taken much longer than he anticipated. Oh well, the deed was done, he wiped his hands on his pant legs as he stepped out of the alleyway. 

Now to just head back into the restaurant, wash off quickly, and go find you. Peppino checked the clock as he strode into the backroom. Good. You would be headed this way soon as you walked home.  

With a final glance over Peppino nodded to himself, determining he looked presentable enough. He frowned as a few stains finally caught his attention. Cazzo! That could be a problem. 

Peppino had already spent too much time in here, he needed to hurry. He darted out of the bathroom and into the office to grab your gift. If anything, Peppino could just tell you he spilled some sauce. You would believe him, you had no reason not to. Anxiety crept into his thoughts as he stepped down the dirt road away from the pizzeria. 

What if you found out it was blood? He could imagine your sweet face twisting into disgust and horror. You running away from him as the image of your dear friend became tarnished forever. 

He swallowed thickly. No. He could say he was cutting sausage or some kind of meat. Peppino became almost too engrossed in this train of thought that he almost didn't notice you were heading right towards him. 

A short yelp had you jumping back as Peppino whipped around, eyes wide. "Hey, are you ok Pino?" You tilt your head as he gave you a short laugh in response. 

"Oh signorina! I didn't realize you were there!" Peppino replied, regaining his composure. "But that's not-a important right now". 

You blink as a blur of colors are pushed close to your face. You realize it's a bouquet. 

"For you".

"Oh Peppino, you shouldn't have!" You smile brightly as you take the flowers, pressing them flowers into your. Peppino returned your smile, watching as a happy sigh escaped your lips. You inhaled deeply, relishing the sweet scent. 

It was a good thing you didn't go into any alleyways, he wouldn't want you to faint if you had seen the blood trail, or worse, the corpse of that filth that flirted with you the other day. Just the thought alone made him clench his jaw. 

Although, if you did, Peppino would be there to comfort you and tell you to keep close to him. He'd tell you that he would protect you. He'd make sure no one would hurt you. That much was true, Peppino would never let his sweet and innocent Y/N be met with an ill fate. Or suffer the affections of another. 

You were his after all. Even if you didn't know it. Yet. One day you'd be his in more than just his fantasies. 

Peppino buried his face into your neck as you threw your arms around him in a hug. Oh what he'd do to keep you close like this for longer, or when ever he wanted. He let out a small sigh, hiding his disappointment as you pulled away. Peppino clasped his hands behind his back, fighting the desire to yank you back into his arms. To bury his face into your neck and inhale your intoxicating scent. 

As you said goodbye and continued on your way home, Peppino's eyes lingered on the horizon. You were just a small dark blob from here but Peppino couldn't tear his gaze from you. Even after you were no longer visible he remained rooted in place. 

* * * * * 

"Hey Peppino, she's out there. Again." Gustavo gestured over to the window. Peppino's eyes followed to where Gustavo's finger was pointing. Across the street a figure was sitting in their car with something pressed to their face. 

"Merda. That-a crazy signorina". Peppino grumbled to himself as decided to go outside this time. That would catch you off guard. You had been doing this for months now, sometimes up to four times a week. Didn't you have your own job to be at? The door swings open as he steps outside, the gentle breeze pleasantly cool compared to the kitchen. 

"Good morning, ragazza matta!" He yells across the street. You drop your binoculars into your lap, head jerking away as heat rises to your face. Shit. He seen you. Ok, play it cool Y/N. Pretend you haven't been watching him for an hour. You were looking at something else! Of course you were. 

Your eyes focus in the opposite direction from where Peppino was. Eyes locked onto a lamppost with sudden fascination. Damn that sure was a tall one wasn't it? And was it made of metal? Wow, look at that glow fro-

"Whatcha doin' signorina"? You jump at the all too familiar voice, tentatively turning your head to the voice. Peppino was leaning an arm into your open window and smirking down at you. 

"O-oh you know. Just hanging out." You drawl, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. Peppino's eyes glimmer with something predatory, as if he had caught some helpless prey. 

"You 'hang out-a' here a lot". Peppino replies nonchalantly, watching as you shrink into the seat. 

Shit. How long had Peppino known you were doing this?

"If you want-a gawk at me, come inside to get-a better view." he teases, hitching a thumb behind himself at the pizzeria. Peppino winks at you, "I'll even give you a free slice while I'm at it".

"O-oh." You fell silent, feeling beads of sweat form onto the back of your neck. Peppino opened the car door and held out his hand to you. As you take his hand your heart flutters. His hand fit perfectly with yours, like it was meant to. You idly brush your thumb along his hand, feeling the roughness against your softer palm. Peppino helped you to your feet but quirked an eyebrow at feeling your grip tighten instead of letting go. 

"Y/N?" Peppino raises his hand, yours still holding onto his.

"Oh! Sorry!" You drop your hand to your side and give what you hoped was an apologetic look. One day. One day you'd be able to enjoy having his hand in yours for as long as you wanted. 

* * * * * 

You spent the remainder of your day sitting in the pizzeria. Every so often Peppino would return to your booth and talk, sometimes offering more food or to refill your drink. When he'd return back behind the counter, you'd watch Peppino work alongside Gustavo as they'd fill orders and cook. You were content to simply admire him, appreciating Peppino at every angle when he wasn't looking. 

Outside the sky had transformed into yellow and pink hues as evening began to settle in. You stood to stretch your legs again, deciding to stay here for a while longer before going home. Overall, you had no complaints as you simply enjoyed being in the general proximity as Peppino. 

...

That was until they walked in. Currently you were shoving down that feeling again. You idly felt in your pocket for the familiar shape, fingers slightly curled into the fabric as you drew in a shaky breath. 

You narrowed your eyes, lips forming a thin line. Who the fuck is she? You glower, anger increasing with every movement the woman made. 

Peppino's eyes darted to the side, at you, before returning his attention to the woman across the table. In that moment Peppino decided he would ignore you for the moment, amused at your reaction.

When he first glanced over at you, he was taken aback, barely recognizing you with that enraged expression. Why did you look like that? As the woman began talking again it dawned on Peppino that your eyes were set on her. 

Peppino smiled back at this woman, not even caring to remember her name, just that her very existence was pissing you off. He grinned as she leaned closer to him. What she said was a compliment -he thinks- about how handsome he looked. What Peppino was actually grinning at was how you were now clenching at your pant leg, your eyes locked onto this woman. 

Now this was interesting. Peppino decided to play along a little longer and continue talking to your newfound enemy. Your reaction was cute with how jealous you were.

Peppino knew you had feelings for him. A part of him wanted to confess to you how he felt the same. However, Peppino knew his crimes and dealings would send you running in the opposite direction. Even if he wanted to have you for himself, he couldn't. At least not right now. He needed to be patient and wait until he could taper off his crimes. It was that or Peppino would have to come up with dozens of methods to keep you in the dark about his misdeeds. Neither were ideal but it was for the best. For now. 

He's mine. You continued to seethe inwardly. Who the fuck do you think you are? Walking in here like you own the place.

He's Mine. 

The word repeated in your head as a mantra as you continue watching the scene unfold from your own booth. 

Jealousy. Hate. The two things you always heard that made someone ugly, you were exuding it. The emotions bubbling up and blanketing you in a dark aura. 

She had ordered a salad and garlic knots which had long been finished by now. Originally you paid her no mind, much like every other customer that came in. 

What snapped your attention to her was when you heard a tinkling laugher and locked onto Peppino, sitting at the same table across from her. He initially was just going to take the cleared dishes to the kitchen but the woman had struck up a conversation, urging him to stay. 

* * * * * 

"Hi!" You call out waving at the woman as you approach. She whips around at your voice, giving you a dubious look. 

"Do you mind if I walk with you? I hate being on the street at night like this, it makes me nervous." You rub the back of your neck. "Sorry to be a bother".

"Oh! Sure!" She nods and smiles at you, making room for you to walk beside her on the sidewalk. "I started to think the same thing, I'm not usually out this late. A bit of company makes me feel safer, too". 

Meaningless conversation droned on and on as the woman talked with you. About what? You didn't care, what she was saying barely even registered as the gears in your head turned. A shrill cry pierced your ears as something flapped overheard and away from you. Just another block. One more. You were so close. Your heart began thudding loudly, drowning out the background noise as your destination grew closer. 

In that moment you slowed until the woman was walking in front of you. You clamp your hand over her mouth before yanking her against your chest and ducking into the alley. At an instant she begins to flail wildly, you wince as she steps on your foot and the vibrations against your hand only increase as her panic fully sets in. 

Despite her best but futile effort your grip doesn't loosen. With your other arm you snake it around her waist before leaning your full weight forward, dropping both of you to the ground. You sputter as her elbow jabs you in the stomach and a shrill scream causes you to grit your teeth, scrambling to clamp your hand over her mouth again. "If you don't stop struggling I'm going to kill you instead." You hiss into her ear. 

A vicious smirk flashed across your face as your free hand withdrew from your pocket. Peppino was yours. And you weren't going to have anyone take him from you. 

..

Peppino watched curiously when you left the pizzeria, shortly after that woman did. From a distance he followed as you skulked down the street. He quirked an eyebrow as you approached the woman, throwing up a friendly facade, starkly contrasting to your demeanor in the pizzeria. Peppino chose not to interfere as you dragged her into an alleyway. When you stepped out and the woman didn't, Peppino knew, without even having to check, to know what you had done. 

Though that seemed wrong. You were too innocent to do something like that. Right? Had that woman really worked you up into a frenzy that you-

Peppino stepped into the alleyway anyways, curious to see how you did it. What he seen had left him speechless and frozen. Multiple slashes were all at key points. You were quick and efficient, only being in this alley for a few minutes. This obviously hadn't been the first time you had killed. 

All for merely flirting with him. 

You both were the same, in a way, he realized.

* * * * * 

"So..." You trail off voice barely above a whisper as you lean closer to him. "Ever use that to slit someone's throat?" 

He sputtered. "Wha? Why-a would you ask that? Dio mios, this is-a for cutting pizza"! 

"Come on, really?" You shoot him an incredulous stare, "You think I'm that naive?" You ask, giving an indignant huff. 

When you stepped out of that alleyway that night, you knew someone had been following you. At first you didn't know who, making you rush to finish the job. As you darted across the street you watched from the cover of the shadows and foliage. You let out a small gasp, covering your mouth as you make a face at the coppery odor. 

You wondered how Peppino would react to you next time you approached him. Would he pretend he hadn't almost witnessed a murder? It would seem so. 

You knew he had killed before, too. To what extent you weren't sure, but him playing dumb was endearing.

"That's a pretty nifty device though," you nod your head towards the pizza cutter he had instead of a hand. "You basically have a weapon on you at all times. For me I have my own methods and how to dispose of the bodies after. I prefer to take a niiiice boating expedition out to sea. Or, did you know that a few pigs can completely eliminate the evidence within a day?" You flash him a wicked grin, your teeth gleaming in the light.

Had Peppino not followed you that day, you would've baffled him. He would've thought you were alluding to knowing he killed people before and were threatening to have him arrested. Now though, he realized you weren't nearly as good natured as he always assumed.

"It's a much better method than hiding a body in a dumpster". Peppino's eyes widened, his mouth open to protest but no words came out. You knew? 

You drop the subject and chuckle at his expression. Instead you pop the remains of crust into your mouth before leaning back into the booth, smiling at him. 

Desire peppered Peppino's thoughts as he watched you practically skip out the door. Maybe he wouldn't have to wait to confess. Although, if you felt the same, why wouldn't you do it? As he stared back to where you had been seated Peppino's thoughts wandered to your words earlier. 

Were you more deranged than he was? He was anxious about protecting you from himself. What if...he needed to be protected from you? If he pissed you off, would you also kill him? Anxiety didn't rear it's head as often as it used to. Usually Peppino buried that feeling down and replaced it with rage anymore. As he began to sweat he noticed his hand was trembling when he rubbed the back of his neck. 

* * * * * 

"I'm so stupid!" You groan, flopping onto the bed. "Masterful gambit Y/N! Ooooh! You know I kill people! I know you kill people! Let's talk about how we kill people"! You fling your arms upwards in exasperation before pressing a pillow into your face, letting out a muffled scream.

You toss the pillow to the floor and glare up at the ceiling, taking your rant internally. Should you even go back to the pizzeria? No? Maybe you should leave Peppino alone for a bit. He's probably still shocked at his new discovery about you. Give him time, it'll be ok. Right?

You bolt upright as something roughly taps at your window. Seeing nothing there, you begin to settle back down before the sound repeats. It was getting late, you agree, seemingly to no one as you walk over to the window. You undid the latch and pushed it open before stumbling backwards as a black blur sped past you, thudding onto your pillows.

You fold your arms across you chest as brown eyes blink back at you. "And where have you been all day, mister?" You ask the raven. 

"Gwah!" He replies back at you before hopping the edge of the bed. 

"Oh, is that so?" You nod at the reply, extending a hand to rub at the bird's neck. A croak bubbles in his throat and he flaps off towards your dresser, perching on the edge.

"Is my sweet baby boy Blackberry hungry?" You croon. The raven dubbed Blackberry pecked at a bell laying beside him before lifting it with his beak. You smiled slightly as he rapidly bobbed his head, the bell ringing loud and erratic. 

"You sure are! Come on buddy." You call over your shoulder, crossing the threshold from your room. The bell clanging as it drops to the floor with your raven squawking after you. 

You fix Blackberry his meal and pour a glass of water for yourself, bringing both to the table. He clicked at you happily as you pushed the bowl to him. His head instantly ducking into it to swallow down a piece of meat. You watch the massive bird for a time until your thoughts returned to Peppino.

"I think I fucked up." You say, resting your head into your arms as you lean into the table. "I think I should give Peppino some space.  Maybe I should only try to greet him in public for a while? That way it'll put him at ease that I won't kill him. At least until the shock wears off".

"GwaaaaAAAaah!" Blackberry replies, rolling a berry towards you. You ignore him, flicking it back. 

"But..." You trail off to stare vacantly at the wall. Past memories floated to the surface. The times you would go on late night walks together, just enjoying each other's company in peace. When you'd stop by the pizzeria and how Peppino would have you favorite pizza freshly made and waiting for you. Even if you tried to pay he'd refuse to take your money. Though that didn't stop you from throwing a generous amount into the tip jar when he wasn't looking. 

You frown at how he acted earlier today. How he had a slight tremble to his voice and movements as he spoke with you. "What if it never does? What if I'm too fucked up even for him"?

You flinch as Blackberry snaps his beak an inch from your face. "Well I'm just thinking about the worst case here!" You argue, moving your head away as he snaps at you again. 

In response you cup the birds face in your hands, thumbs stroking at his cheeks. "Fine." You murmur. "I'll stop assuming the worst and give Peppino time".

"Tok tok." Blackberry clicks back at you, closing his eyes as you continued petting him for another minute. 

As you move your hands away back under your chin Blackberry hops over to his bowl, fishing for some other treat.

"Thanks for telling me someone was following me that day". You were thankful the fact it was Peppino and not anyone else. That was too close and almost too sloppy for your liking. Had it not been Peppino that watched you go into the alley the whole situation could've gotten much more messy. 

You yawn but are interrupted with a gagging fit, the raven shoving a piece of egg into your open mouth. Bits of shell and yolk fly across the table as you sputter and spit, grabbing for your drink and chug it. With a final cough you draw in a steady breath and glare at your assailant.

"WHY"!? 

* * * * *

In his peripheral Peppino caught a glimpse of a familiar shape in the shadows. 

Peppino ducked his head lower to Gustavo's ear. "I-a fear no man, but that-a woman...she scares me." Peppino murmured to him. Your eyes followed after Peppino as the pair walked away from the corridor. Gustavo replied back with something but he too was speaking softly and too far away to discern any of the words. 

Weeks had passed since the last time he seen you at his pizzeria. It was as if you disappeared out of existence. After that day,  Peppino had started requesting Gus to follow him home. It helped to offset the knot in the pit of his stomach when ever shadows darted off the walls or when he would pass an unlit alley. 

Sometimes you'd meet Peppino when he was in the street, as if suddenly popping into reality again just to haunt him. Peppino always made sure to remain in public view from now on when you were around, in case you tried anything. The time before last you looked hurt when he flinched at a hand movement that was a little too quick. 

Then the last time Peppino had bumped into you, you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. You whispered in his ear that you missed him. When you did that, it reminded Peppino of the memories he had with you. 

How you'd both talk for hours after he closed for the day. Other times where you'd both watch horror movies and he'd laugh to himself as you'd always link your arm with his in fear (So he thought. At the time anyways). Anything on the screen was nothing compared to what he could do, but he'd sooth you by tracing gentle circles against your skin. 

The soft laughter that hung in the air as you laughed at Peppino's jokes, even if they were bad, or just sarcastic remarks. He missed the sweets you baked for him and how brightly you smiled at his compliments. 

Why had he suddenly taken to avoiding you? You killed one person, at least one, that flirted with him. Hell, even he did that for you, but you weren't afraid of him. How long had you known he had been doing that anyways? Why was he so unsettled by you, now? He was bigger and stronger than you were. 

Was that the reason? Someone smaller than he was that was just as -if not more- dangerous than him, was off-putting?

Peppino waved Gustavo off, thanking him for accompanying him, again, tonight. Peppino locked the door behind himself as he made his way to the shower before going to sleep. 

Thoughts of you flooded his memories as he shifted constantly in bed. He didn't want to let you go. What if that day was the last day he'd ever see you? The last thing he did was keep his arms to his sides for far too long before he finally wrapped them around you, replying he missed you too. It couldn't end like that. He didn't want it to. 

* * * * * 

The wind carried a chill tonight as Peppino walked home alone. Unfortunately Gustavo had to go home early, leaving Peppino with only the sound of his own footsteps and rustling leaves. Despite his resolve to find and speak with you, unease still nagged at him. 

You need to get over it. Peppino reminded himself, again, that you weren't going to kill him. Even if you were sick in the head like he was, that didn't mean you were incapable of feeling. He knew you cared about him.

Peppino jumped at feeling someone tap his shoulder. He took several staggering steps back upon realizing it was you. Suddenly appearing out of nowhere again. A frown plays on your lips and you furrow your brow at his actions. 

You shake the negative thoughts away. After today he wouldn't look at you with fear anymore. 

You hoped. 

"Oh, hey there handsome, wanna go behind the back alley?" You force a smile, knife settled behind your back. 

Peppino froze, mind racing at the various implications this could mean. Did he trust you? He thought he did. Even if he didn't, would he be able to overpower you, if you tried anything? He looked downward at the poorly concealed weapon you held. The thought sent a chill up his spine and made his heart race. Had you shown up tonight to take your anger out on him for avoiding you? 

Peppino nodded weakly at you, you responded with a small but genuine smile. You gesture with your head towards the alley across the street. 

He followed you as if in a trance, weaving through cross sections and corridors until a large dark sheet formed a wall before you both. With the flash of the knife Peppino flinched, the sound of fabric tearing broke the silence and the massive curtain fluttered to the ground. 

As Peppino focused on what was there, he realized he was at the entrance to a small fenced in courtyard. Complete with high hedges and a iron wrought fence that climbing halfway up them. In the center of the room was a table with a pair of plates, glasses, and utensils. The centerpiece was a simple candle decoration, the glow from it and the moon providing the only light to the area. In front of the entryway in dark letters were the words "Will you be mine"? the word 'mine' being bolder than the others. 

You turn to Peppino, the knife clattering to the ground as you took a step towards him. "I would never hurt my sweet 'Pino." You placed both hands on either side of his waist. "You know that, right"? Peppino's expression softened as he brought his hand up to your cheek. He looked behind you back at the words on the ground but said nothing. 

"Well, come on." You pull away and tug at his arm. "I made dinner". 

As Peppino sat down, you lifted the cover from the large bowl in the center. Fragrant herbs and sauce filled the air as you dipped a pair of tongs into it, heaping a mess of pasta onto your plate before holding it out towards Peppino. He takes it and exchanges his empty one into your hand. 

You still weren't done serving food though. A shallow plate was pushed towards him along with a chunk of bread. A thick liquid was poured to one side before you followed the same routine for your own plate. 

Peppino tore off a tiny bit of bread and dipped it into the liquid. His eyes widened at the taste. This was the olive oil mixture you made together, months ago. The recipe he taught you was one Peppino made himself when he was much younger. 

You leant down, shuffled around in a bag Peppino hadn't noticed, and brought up a bottle of red wine. You smiled at him as you filled each glass. 

While there had usually been chatter between you two previously, there was none now. Only the sound of forks scraping against plates and the occasional tink of your glass. You watched as Peppino ate slower than normal. 

He had no idea what to make of any of this. Well, the question on the ground gave Peppino a big enough hint for the meaning of this dinner. Was this a date? Could he even consider this a date? 

You nod down at the drink Peppino left untouched. "What? Do you expect to find strychnine in your red wine"? He winced as you guessed correctly. Well, aside from that choice of poison. That was oddly specif-

"There's not actually strychnine in it." You reply flatly, not bothering to look up as you twirl the pasta with your fork. 

You cover your mouth with your napkin, masking your sigh. This was a mistake wasn't it? A lump forms in your throat and take a moment to clear it before you speak again. When you finally do, you look up at Peppino sadly. "I'm sorry for dragging you here. I just thought...it would make up for these last few months I haven't been around to see you". 

You set the napkin down next to the plate. 

"I got a job in the next town over for the next few months and thought that I would like it. But I..." you fall silent and swallow against the uncomfortable feeling. "I miss you".

Peppino remains speechless, watching as tears threaten to spill over as you turn away. You get to your feet and wipe your eyes with the back of your hand. 

"I should've left you alone after that but I don't want to. I still don't." You choke. Peppino's hand shot out and caught your wrist before you could walk away. Your gaze mets his, bewildered, as he stands up to yank you against his chest. 

"Then don't". Peppino whispers, wrapping both arms around you tightly. "Be mine. Be all mine". You bury your head into his neck as tears soak his skin and into his shirt as he said this. You cling to Peppino as if he would disappear at any moment. 

"I'll-a be yours." He presses a kiss to your temple. "You don't have to kill anyone for it to stay-a that way".

"You too." You reply, albeit muffled, and press a kiss into his collarbone. "I'm so fucked up". 

"Yes-a you are. You're the most-a fucked up signorina I ever met." Peppino pat you on the back and took your chin in his hand, tilting your head up to look at him. 

"Do you mean that"?

Peppino nodded, "Even more than-a me. You scare me when-a you get angry. It's exciting".

Silence takes over once more but it's a comforting stillness. You relaxed into Peppino's arms, staying like this as long as you both needed and wanted. Every so often either of you pressed small kisses against the other. 

"If anyone upsets or hurts you, I'll kill them".

"I know, Y/N." Peppino caressed your face. He would've told you the same but words weren't needed. You knew and so did he. Peppino's lips were on yours in that moment, hand pressed to the back of your head as he deepened the kiss. 

You pressed into his body as much as you could, hands against his hips as you pulled him close. A whine bubbled in your throat, wishing you could be closer still. 

A shrill sound caused Peppino to abruptly break the kiss as he jerked his head upwards. His eyes darted to the direction he heard it had come from, quirking an eyebrow as you seemed more annoyed than startled. 

"The fuck-a is that?" Peppino squints up at a dark mass settled on the tree. 

With a huff you pull a small item from your pocket, giving it a few clicks. At an instant the mass swooped down and you lurched forward as a large bird slammed into your back. Peppino winced as he attempted to help you steady yourself. As he did so his eyes fixed onto the face of the bird that was peering over your shoulder at him.  

"This is Blackberry." You point to the raven, not that you needed to, as it snapped it's beak in the air. "He was supposed to stay in the tree". You reach behind your back to shoo him off, watching as Blackberry hopped to the ground. 

Peppino stifled a laugh as the bird snatched a piece of bread from the table. "You're always full-a surprises signorina".

His eyes darkened as he fixed his attention back onto you. "But, anyways..." his arm snaked around your waist, "Would you like to continue where we left off? Somewhere more...private?" He smirks as you're already melting into his touch. His forehead presses against yours, you shudder as his breath ghosts your lips. "We can belong to each other. I'll be yours and you'll be mine. How does that sound"?

You close your eyes and nod, feeling yourself hoisted into Peppino's arms as he scoops you up. You wrap your arms around his neck, listening to his breathing while he carries you back to his home. He would be sure to relish in the prized catch that was you, and he knew you felt the same.

(My brain came up with this at 4am lmao, so in my delirious state you got a dash of crack to this :] 💜 )

Also obvious disclaimer: don't kill people

[delayed-affection]

Chapter one

Description   Next

"We’re the Pogues, and our mission this summer is to have a good time, all the time." A boy narrates

•

The boy stands at the top of a house, dangling his foot off.

"That's what, a three story fall to the deck?" Boy 2 theorizes from below, "I give you about a one in three chance of survival."

He hums sticking his finger in the air, "Should I do it?"

"Yeah, you should jump. I'll shoot you on the way down." He says pointing a power drill at him.

"You'll shoot me?" He asks making a gun with his hand, "Pew!"

A girl walks out from the unfinished house, "They're gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers."

"Of course they are. Why wouldn't they?" Boy 3 asks

"This used to be a turtle habitat, but who cares about the turtles, I guess?" She complains

"I can't have cold towels." Boy 3 replies

She looks up to wear he sits, "Can you please not kill yourself?"

"Don't spill that beer. I'm not giving you another one." Girl 2 pipes up as she watches boy 1.

Boy 1 continues to mess around, "Whoa! Oh, shit."

His can falls from his hand and onto the floor.

"Of course you did, right after I told you I wasn't going to give you a new one." Girl 2 quips

"Smooth." Girl 1 says

Boy 1 groans, looking down at his now empty can.

"A plus." Boy 3 tells him

"Dumbass." Girl 1 insults

Boy 2 looks over to the driveway, right where an officer stands.

"Hey!" The officer shouts

Boy 2 turns back to his friends, "Hey, uh, security's here. Let's wrap it up."

"Boys are here early today." Boy 1 states

"Humpty Dumpty, let's roll!" Boy 2 exclaims

Boy 3 rolls over from his spot while Boy 1 climbs down from his. Girl 2 follows Boy 2 to the back door.

Girl 1 smiles, "Let's go, boys."

"Gary is that you?" Boy 3 shouts

"Come on quite it." Boy 2 says

"Hey, what are you doing?" The officer questions

"Gary, good to see you, man!" Boy 3 yells

"JJ!" The officer screams

"You're asking for it." Girl 1 laughs

The group of teens laugh and holler as they run through the house, weaving through the construction equipment.

JJ slips in front of the officer but is quick to get up, running the other way with the others.

"Get 'em! They're comin' your way!" The officer calls out

JJ gets caught up with another officer who grabs him, "I got him!"

He slips from his grasps and takes off, "Not much of a hugger man!"

"Go, Pope! Go! Go, go, go, go, go, go!" He tells him as they hop the fence.

Pope drops the floor face first and groans.

JJ laughs, "Get up, Pope, fatso's coming."

On queue the officers face pops up over the fence, "Hey! Come here, you little pricks!"

Pope jumps up and races towards the honking van.

Boy 1 continues to honk, "Bus is leaving!"

Girl 1 sticks her head out the passenger window, "Come on, boys! Whoo!"

Girl 2 holds open the sliding door, "Jeez! Could you be any slower?"

Pope is the last to jump in and Boy 1 drives off.

Officer Gary chases after them on foot, "Hey, hey! Hey! Hey!"

Pope laughs at him, "Check out Gary, gunnin' for a raise."

JJ switches places with Girl 2 by the door, "Come on, Gary! Wait. Slow down."

"Hey! You little pricks!" Gary yells

"Stop guys. You're gonna give him a heart attack." Girl 1 scolds

JJ hangs out the door with a beer in his hand, extending it him, "You're so close! You can do it. There you go."

He toss the can at him making him stop in his tracks.

JJ groans, "They don't pay you enough, bro."

Girl 2 pulls him back into the van, "JJ, stop."

He giggles, "Oh, come on. That sort of stuff is just begging to be punished."

•

Boy 1 continues his narration, "The Outer Banks, Paradise on Earth. It's the sort of place where you either have two jobs or two houses. Two tribes, one island."

•

The teens are quick to move on from their situation, now laughing and talking about whatever comes to mind.

Boy 1 watches as they pass well kept houses, expensive boats, and an opened field that is only used for golfing.

•

"All right. This is Figure Eight, the rich side of the island. Home of the Kooks. So, guess where we don't live."

•

Turning onto a different part of the island, the scenery changes. The houses aren't as big and well kept. No golf courses or yachts are seen.

•

"And then, this is the south side or the cut. Home of the working class who make a living busing tables, washing yachts, running charters. The natural habitat of... drumroll, please... the Pogues. That's us."

"Pogues, pogies, the throw away fish. Lowest member of the food chain. Okay. So, the down side of the Pogue life is we're ignored and neglected. But the upside of Pogue life? We're ignored and neglected, which means we do whatever we want, whenever we want."

•

They all sit on a boat doing their own thing, Boy 1 pulls up a net and drops the fish inside onto the deck.

"Nice haul, dude. Look at that." JJ compliments

Girl 1 scoots back from the fish in front of her, "Ugh, John B."

"Been all bait for, like, three weeks." JJ informs

John B picks up a fish and throws it at him.

"Gross." He laughs

•

"Well I guess it's time for introductions."

•

JJ stands inside the wheelhouse steering the boat.

•

"That's JJ, my best friend since the third grade. He's about as local as the come. Latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta holding salt lifers who made their living off the water. Best surfer I know. Just don't tell him I said that. Mild kleptomaniac and future tax cheat."

•

Girl 1 sits by a bonfire talking to someone about micro plastics.

•

"And that's Kiara, or Kie, as we call her. When not saving turtles or listening to Marley, or getting a dolphin tattoo, she hangs out with us. I'm not really sure why, though. So, she's a rich kid, actually. Foot in both world. Her family owns The Wreck, this Outer Banks institution. Total cash cow with the tourist. You know, I'm not really sure how her parent feel about us. I guess we all sort of have a thing for her."

•

Pope sits on the boat smiling at his friends.

•

"That's Pope, the brains of the operation... finalist for the Lucas T. Vanderhorst Merit Scholarship. And the smartest person I know. Little bit of a weirdo. His father is this legend charter, Heyward. Anything you wanted on the island, Heyward could get for you. Now, I'm not sure Heyward knew what to make of his oddball son, but it didn't matter. He was a Pogue, just like the rest of us."

•

Girl 2 sits at the edge of the boat, letting her feet sit in the water.

•

"That one right there is Y/n, the living definition of an angel, way too pretty and nice for her own good.  She spends most of her time helping Pope and his dad with work or shredding waves with JJ. She, like Kie, is a Kook, well half a Kook. Her mom is a Pogue and her dad is a Kook, she is a baby of an affair. Her parents love her more than anything, never seen such good coparenting."

•

The group stands together watching the sunset on the water.

•

"That's my crew."

•

John B flushes the toilet and wonders around his house.

•

"And that's me, John Booker Routledge. And this is where I live. An old fish shack on the marsh. The Château, as my dad used to call it."

•

He hangs up a picture of him and his dad.

•

"There's Dad. He disappeared at sea nine months ago, looking for a shipwreck. Who disappears at sea these days? I miss him. And then there's Mom. She split when I was three. Last I heard, she was in Colorado. I think it was Colorado."

•

He taps a picture with the top of his bottle, "Uncle T!"

•

"That's Uncle T. Since Dad's vanished, he's supposedly my legal guardian. At the moment, he's in Mississippi, building houses...which means it's just me right now, hanging out with my friends. Three months after my dad was missing, he was officially presumed dead. I refused to sign the papers. Until I see a body, I'm not giving up."

•

"John it has come to our attention that you are an unemancipated minor living on your own." A woman sighs sitting across from him.

He scoffs, "No... No. No."

"John, I need honesty to help you. That's what we want, right?" She asks

"Yeah. I'm being honest." He answers

"Okay, then when is the last time you spoke to your uncle?" She questions

He looks down at his wrist, "Uh... 34 minutes ago."

"Last time you saw him?" She asks

"Two hours and... 43 minutes ago?" He claims

She looks up from her papers, "John, we're gonna come out there tomorrow to talk to your uncle. If he's not there, we're gonna move forward with foster care. I want to assure you, we're gonna find you a safe and loving home."

•

"They actually thought I was gonna be happy to hear that. And that's we're this story starts. My dad missing, my uncle MIA, and the Bride of Frankenstein threatening foster care. But then I caught a break."

•

A reporter's commentary fills the crowded shop, "Hurricane Agatha continues its steady march towards Kildare island on the Outer Banks of North Carolina..."

•

"Hurricane Agatha, coming in the same day DCS was supposed to do my assessment."

•

He leaves the shop and stands out on a dock, alarms blaring, alerting people that the hurricane is close and coming head on.

Pulling out his phone he calls child services, "Yeah, uh... I think we're gonna have to reschedule."

•

Him, Y/n, and Pope race out in the storm, boards in hand, hoping to catch some killer waves.

"It's a double overhead out there, bro." Pope tells them

John B stops and looks out to the water, "Double overhead?"

Pope looks at them, "Those aren't surf-able waves, bro."

John B laughs, "Says who?"

Y/n runs ahead, "Only one way to find out!"

Soon they're all in the water, thunder clapping around them. The waves they don't ride take them under, other than that it's a fun time.

John B sits on the surf and something catches his eye, "What the hell?

It's a boat and it's getting thrashed around by the deeper waves. The storm gets stronger, making them go back home, only for the power to go out.

•

John B wakes up in his bed to the sound of chickens clucking and a rooster crowing. He sighs sitting up, grabbing his phone.

He turns off his phone "No service."

Getting up he tries the light switch, "No power. Great."

He walks into the living room, smacking his friend, "Yo, JJ, you been outside?"

JJ keeps his head in the cushions, "I have polio, bro. I can’t walk."

He pushes open the back door and takes in the damage.

He yawns, "Oh, man. That's no good. That's not good."

He walks around to the boat, "Oh, man."

JJ steps outside, "Agatha did some work, huh?"

"Yeah, she did." He replies

"Whatcha thinkin'?" He asks

He climbs in the boat, "I'm thinkin' that storm surge pushed all the crabs out in the marsh maze. All those drums are gonna chase the crab."

"What about the DCS? Wasn't that today?" He questions

"Nah, they're not gettin' on a ferry." He says cleaning out the boat, "Come on, think about it. It's god tellin' us to fish."

•

The boys set sail on the boat, dolphins trailing behind. They wave to other Pogues checking on what they have left.

"Hi, Miss Amy! You guys get through it?" John B asks a women in the dock.

"Still here." She answers

"She totally looked at me." JJ states as they drive away.

"I saw it." He confirms, "Dude look at this place."

He whistles, "Agatha, what did you do?"

"She is a crazy lady." He comments

"Hardcore dude." He replies, "Hurricane surge. We'll be cleaning this all summer."

"That is my nightmare." He claims

Pope stands at the end of a dock, "Well, look who we have here."

JJ whoops and hollers at him.

John B cups his hands around his mouth, "We have a safety meeting. Attendance mandatory."

"I can't. My pops got me on lockdown." Pope tells them

"Come on, man." He mimics static, "Your dad's a pussy. Over."

Mr. Heyward walks over, "Oh, I heard that, you little bastard."

"We need your son." John B confesses

"Yeah, and island rules. Day after a hurricane's a free day." JJ adds

"Who the hell made that up?" Mr. Heyward asks

"Uh... Pentagon, I think. We have security clearance. I have a card." He proclaims

"Y'all think I'm stupid?" He questions

"I'll do it tomorrow. I promise. Tomorrow." Pope says

"You think- No, no. Hell no. You doin' it right now." He demands

"Get in the boat." John B whispers to him as he slowly sails by.

"Make a run for it." JJ says not as quietly.

He father begins to threaten him, "Boy, if you get in that boat-"

Pope drops what's in his hands and jumps into the boat.

"Go, go, go." He tells John B

"Bring your ass back up here." He demands

"I promise I'll do it tomorrow, Dad." He swears as they pull off.

"When you get back you gonna clean shrimp. You gonna clean fish. You'll clean your dirty ass room!" He yells at him

"Sorry, Mr. Heyward!" John b shouts, "We'll bring him back in one piece."

"I don't like your friends!" He voices

•

Pulling up to another dock they meet Kie and Y/n.

JJ puts on an Irish accent, "Oh, top o' the mornin' ya."

"Good morning boys." Kie greets

"Morning." John B replies

"Pope was able to bless us with his presence today?" Y/n teases smiling down at the boy.

JJ smacks his shoulder, "Yeah but he's stuck cleaning for the rest of his life."

Pope rolls his eyes, "Whatcha got? You got some juice boxes?"

"You know, just some yogurts and carrot sticks." Kie answers

JJ helps them into the boat, "How about my kind of juice box?"

"Yeah." She assures

John B lowers his voice an octave, "Brace for impact."

•

A few drinks in a JJ is ready to have some fun, "Bet you can't do this. Let me show you a party trick."

"Terrifying." Kie states as he climbs past her to the bowsprit.

"Hey, Pope. Can you go a little faster?" He requests

"Oh, here we go. I'm movin'." John B announces moving behind pope.

Y/n follows him and joins him for a back row seat of the show.

"We've tried this like six thousand times." Pope says

"I got this. It's gonna work." JJ assures

Pope picks up the speed, JJ tilts the beer bottle towards his mouth. Hoping that the beer will fly out of the bottle and into his mouth.

Kie gets splashed with the liquid, "Oh, my god. You're getting beer in my hair!"

Pope holds his hand out for cover, "All right. All right!"

"All right, you're done." John b tells him

"All right, stop!" Pope shouts

The motor rattles and sends JJ flying off the boat into the water. Everyone else is sent tumbling forward in the boat.

"Jesus, Pope!" Kie scolds

JJ breaches the tops of the water and groans.

"You okay, JJ?" John b asks

"I think my heels touched the back of my head." He groans

"Kie, Y/n, you okay?" He asks

"I'm alright." Kie assures sitting up

"Same here." Y/n replies picking herself up

JJ swims back to the boat, "Pope, what did you do?"

"Sand bar. The channel changed." He answers

"No Shit." He spits

John B grunts, "Ugh, this is probably gonna mess this whole place up."

Pope stands where JJ once was, looking out at the water.

"Hey, I saved the beer, though." JJ gushes

"Congrats, JJ." He says

Pope squints his eyes at something, "Guys... I think there's a boat down there."

"Shut up. What?" John B replies

"No way." Kie dismisses

Y/n walks over to him, knowing the boy wouldn't lie about such a thing.

He points to the water, "No, no, guys. I'm serious. There's a boat down there. For real."

"What the fuck." Y/n marvels

"It's a boat!" He exclaims

"Holy shit, he's right. Let's go." Kie jabbers

She tugs y/n's arm and they both take off their shorts, leaving them in their bathing suits. The boys do the same with their shirts.

"You think there's a dead body down there?" Pope asks

No bothers to answer as the all jump into the water.

Pope sets down his shirt, "Guys, wait up!"

"Get your ass in here, Pope!" JJ yells

He cannon balls into the water, they all take a deep breath before swimming down. They take a quick look around before coming back up.

"Did you guys see that? You guys saw that right?" JJ gasps

"Yeah." They all answer

"That's a Grady White." He informs, "A new one of those is like 500 Gs, easy. That's a primo rig."

They all climb back into the boat.

"Yeah. That's the boat I saw when I surfed the surge." He confesses, "Maybe it hit the jetty or something."

"You surfed the surge?" Kie asks

"Yeah." He answers

JJ laughs, "That's my boy. Pogue style."

"What the heck?" She says

"Wait, wait. Do we know whose boat that is?" Pope questions

John B opens a hatch, "No, but we're about to find out."

"Dude, it's too deep."JJ states

"Oh, for the weak and feeble, JJ." He replies

"Well, I'm not resuscitating you." He tells him, "I'm just making that clear up front."

John B picks up the anchor, "That's fine."

"John B." Kie voices

"What?" He chuckles

"Diver down, fool." Pope salutes

He salutes him back, "Diver down."

JJ pushes him into the water, "Yeah he is."

He lets the anchor carry him down, swimming over to the boat when he's low enough. He looks quickly, finding a key. Running out of air he makes his way back up.

His friends watch the water for any sign of him.

"Should we go get him?" Y/n worries

John B answers her question himself, popping back up to the surface.

"Oh, my god. That took forever!" Kie complains

"Any dead bodies?" Pope wonders

"Looting potential?" JJ asks

"No. No. I found this motel key." He answers dangling it from his finger.

"A key." Pope says

"Yes, a key, Pope." He confirms pulling himself back into the boat.

"Great! We salvaged a motel key." JJ quips

"Guys, we should report the wreck to the coast guard. Maybe we'll get a finders fee." Kie suggests on their way back.

"Yeah, and not work all summer. Thanks, Agatha, ya batch." JJ comments

•

"So you haven't seen him since?" A man asks

"Not since before the storm." A woman answers

"What did the police say?" He questions

"Well, they said I have to wait 24 hours before I can report anything but I know somethings up." She claims

"Nothing is wrong. You know, it's Scooter. He knows how to handle himself in a storm." He assures

"Well, when was the last time that you saw him?" She asks

"Uh, last time I saw him, he was prepping the Druthers with Sarah." He says walking into the house, "Sarah! You seen the princess?"

A woman on the staircase answers, "She's out back."

He watches as a light flickers, "Let there be generators."

"Thank god. It's like living in Nicaragua." The woman on the stairs nags.

The man leads the other woman out back, "Iy didn't fall near the house. It completely up rooted it. Oh look at this. Storm blew it right into the pool. Be careful with that. Rose is gonna kill me."

The pool cleaner freezes, "Yes, sir, Mr. Cameron."

He looks back at the woman, "I don't wanna know how much it cost."

A young girl pops up from the other side of the pool, "Dad, the Wi-Fi's not working. I can't post anything."

"Wheezie, there was a hurricane, sweetheart." He states "What is your sister doing?"

She looks over her shoulder, "Saving mice."

"I'm sorry. Sarah!" He calls

She continues to swat at seagulls, "I'm busy."

"What are you doing?" He asks walking over, the woman following.

"The burrows filled with water from the surge. The birds are having a field day." She replies chasing after the birds.

"The birds have to eat too, Sarah." He reminds

"No, it's a mouse genocide out here. No!" She groans

He sighs, "It's the cycle of life is what it is, sweetheart. Now, come on."

"I can't be apart of it. First they came for the mice, Daddy." She tells him

"Yeah, well, I have an actual human being that you might help." He says

The woman reaches her hand out, "Hi."

She rushes to take her hand, "I'm Sarah. I'm so sorry."

"This is Lana, Scooter's wife." He introduces, "Now, you were storm prepping with him, right?"

"Yeah. He helped me latch the cabin on the Druthers." She answers

"Last night?" He asks

"Yeah." She confirms

"Did he go out after that?" He questions

"From here?" She asks

"Yeah.” he replies

"No. Are you crazy? There was a hurricane." She reminds

"Well, did he say where he was going? Get a phone call or mention anything?" Lana wonders

"He didn't say anything to me." She affirms, "I'm so sorry. Is he okay?"

Mr. Cameron puts an arm around Lana, "He's absolutely okay. He's hunkered down somewhere, all right? We're gonna find him."

•

John B pushes his way through the crowded office, "Hey. Excuse me."

JJ squeezes through the other side, "Hey, man, we- we found a boat."

The officer ignores them, continuing his very loud conversation with the others.

John B tries again, "You're gonna wanna hear this."

The officer puts his hand in his face, "Hey! Calm down."

He gives up and pushes his way back out, JJ hot on his heel.

"Well that went well." Pope says, "So what's the plan?"

John B holds out the key, "I think I know how we're gonna find the guy who owns the boat."

"No, no. We don't know whose room that is. It could be anyone." Pope stammers

"I'm in." JJ chimes

"Come on. We'll be lookout." Kie says throwing her arm around y/n.

"It'll be better if you're there." Y/n tells him as they follow JJ.

John B pats his chest as he walks by, "Finders fee. Just sayin'. And, hey, at least you'll only be an accomplice."

"Man." He mumbles before following.

"Come on, bubba." John B beckons.

•

JJ whistles at the motel, "I thought the Château looked bad."

"This place is a shit show." John b comments

"Motel or meth lab?" Kie asks

"You be the judge." Pope replies

"This doesn't look like the type of place somebody with a Grady white would stay." Y/n voices

"No. It looks like a place someone with a Grady white would get killed." Pope says

JJ mimics a pilot, "This is your captain speaking. HMS Pogue comin' in for landing."

He whoops jumping off the boat onto land, trying it down.

"Is it good?" John B asks

He tightens the rope, "Yep."

John B huffs, "All right. Here goes nothin'."

"Hey." Pope calls, "Don't let him do anything stupid."

"Oh, we will." JJ replies

John B looks back at him before turning, "I'm not making promises."

"Yeah, I know." He grumbles

"Uh, be careful." Kie says handing him the key, "I mean it."

He chuckles with a sly smile, "Yeah. Let's go."

Y/n daps up JJ, "Don't have too much fun."

He puts his hand on his chest, "Me? Having fun? Never."

John B claps his shoulder and they walk off, "What are all these mattresses doing out here?"

"After a hurricane, they ditch 'em cause they're moldy." JJ answers

Up the stairs they draw closer to the room.

JJ grabs John Bs shoulders, "Just be so careful, John."

He pushes him off, "God, you're so weird."

"What was that about?" He asks

"I don't know." He shrugs, "Maybe she wants us to be careful."

"Since she heard you're being threatened with exile, she's just been, like, 'Oh! Be so careful, John B'." He mimics her voices and rubs his shoulders.

He pulls away, "Get off."

He continues to tease, " 'Oh, give me that John D already.' When are you gonna swoop on that, man?"

"Bro, you know the rule. No Pogue on Pogue macking. Besides you're the one always hitting on her." He argues

"Of course, I'm always hitting on her. She's a super hot, rich, hippie chick slumming with us. The same goes for Y/n. Why they hang us? I can't figure it out either, but who cares, bro? I know that doors locked because I've tried it. Have you?" He explains

"You need help. Not a little help, you need a lot of help." He tells him, "It's like every girl who just has a heartbeat, you're like... 'Uhh'!"

"What? It's not a big deal." He states

John B stops, "This is it."

JJ does a rhythmic knock on the door, "Housekeeping." No answer, "No power. No security cameras. No one's gonna know."

John B huffs open the door, "Huh, okay. Check the bag. See if there's a name on there or something."

Closing the door behind them, they begin to raid the room.

"No name on the jacket." JJ informs, "It's a nice jacket, though."

John B picks up a shoe, "Definitely over 50. He's got New Balances."

JJ finds bunch of papers, "Yo, dude, come here. Maybe this is where they were fishing."

He rushes over, "Let me see."

He points to the map, "Right there."

"No, that's off the continental shelf. That's Big Swell. Nobody fishes there." He replies pulling out a note.

They move on, JJ flashes his light around and puts on a posh accent, "Coffee? Standard. Tissues for when you get lonely... Ooh!"

"Did you find anything?" He asks

"Really awesome Dopp kit you won't let me steal." He answers rummaging through the bag and putting something in his pocket.

"Yeah, cause we're not stealing shit." He replies pushing numbers into the safe.

•

Down in the boat the three are playing 21 questions.

"Biggest pet peeve? Easy. Giving one percent to the environment." Kie tells them

"What's wrong with that?" Pope asks

"We only have one Earth, Pope." She reminds, "We should be giving it 100% bare minimum."

"Right. That's not fiscally sound." He says

"Neither is destroying the planet we have to live on." She argues

Y/n suddenly sits up straight, alerting the others, "Shit, cops are here."

They quietly move off of the boat.

"Call them." Pope commands

"We can't. The towers are down." Kie replies

"If I lose my merit scholarship, I'm gonna kill someone." He complains

They hide behind the fallen motel sign, watching the officers.

"Maybe they're not going up." He suggests

"He's pointing. He's pointing." Kie says

"They're going up." Y/n whispers

•

Back upstairs John B is still trying to get into the safe.

"Punching shit at random. That will... definitely work." JJ nags

John B walks over to the papers, "Wait a second. Here." He picks up the note.

"I don't know." JJ mutters looking at the map, "I don't know about the second one. These coordinates, they... Wait. My cousin said you could catch swordfish here."

John B ignores him, going back to the safe and putting in the numbers he reads off the paper. It's the code, he opens it to find stacks of cash and a gun.

He picks up a stack, "Uh... JJ? You're gonna want to see this."

•

The officers make their way up the stairs and the friends run to the side of the building.

"Okay, do something. Do something." Kie orders

Pope picks up a rock and confidently tells them, "Stand back."

Kie and Y/n move to the side, "Okay. You got it."

He tosses the rock and it probably goes ten feet in air before falling in front of them.

"Didn't you ever play baseball?" Kie asks, "Dude!"

Y/n stifles a laugh and picks up some rocks.

Pope sighs, "I was on the math team."

•

JJ snags the gun from the safe, "Dude, dude, dude. This is a SIG Sauer."

"Put the gun back, JJ!" John B orders trying to take it from him.

He jumps back, "This is a fucking spendy gatt, man. Just... Bam! Bam!"

John B puts his foot down, "We are not stealing anything.

•

"A mathlete?" Kie huffs, "Wait, Y/n weren't you on the softball team?"

Y/n steps back ready to throw a rock, "Already on it, K."

Throwing the rock straight at the window.

•

JJ turns and poses, "Just take a pic of me. Right here."

"You want me to take a picture of you?" John B questions, "Make our own incriminating evidence? Is that what you're talking about?"

They hear a tap from the window, "Wait, what was that?"

John B sticks his head under the blinds and sees the three friends mouthing cops and pointing to the door. He quickly moves to the other window and peaks through, they're right there.

The cops knock on the door and the boys quietly freak out, picking up their belongings and trying to make it look like they were never there.

"Kildare County Sheriff's Department!" The man voices

The three others race back to the boat, "Should we peel?"

"You never leave a Pogue behind." Pope answers

The cop unlocks the door and the room seems to be empty.

"No seriously, should we peel?" Kie repeats

Y/n shrugs, "Maybe."

•

One cop closes the door and the other checks the bathroom.

She pulls back the shower curtain and finds nothing, "Clear."

•

The two boys stand on the ledge outside of the window.

Pope whispers, "What are you guys doing?"

"Oh, my god." Kie says

•

The cop opens the safe, "I said it. Didn't I say it?"

John B watches as they go through the items.

The male cop pulls out a stack of cash, "Everybody's gotta dip their beak."

"What the fuck." JJ whispers as the Female cop takes the cash.

JJ moves his hand to his side and something falls from his pocket, it goes crashing to the ground, hitting everything it can.

The man walks to the window opening the blinds, the boys stick closer to the wall and the others try their best to act natural.

He pulls back from the window, "All right, let's go. No one's here."

•

Back on the water, they go over the prior events.

"Well that was fun." JJ chuckles, "Could have warned us sooner."

"We would have, except pope was on the math team." Kie admits

"You were on the math team?" John B questions

"The cops took everything like it was a crime scene." Pope says changing to subject, "Did you find anything?"

JJ sits up and pulls out a stack of cash and a gun, "Did we find anything? No, I don't think so. Oh, yeah, we did."

"What the hell?" Pope gasps

Y/n looks at him like he's gone mad, "What the fuck, dude?"

"Dude, what?" Kie marvels

JJ walks over to Pope, "Dude, chill. Come on."

"Why would you take that from a crime scene?" Pope asks

"Better than the cops having it." He argues

"I'm gonna lose my merit scholarship." He worries

JJ puts his arm around him, "Hey, hey, hey. Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh. At least you have us, right?"

"He's definitely running on two braincells." Y/n whispers to Kie.

In return she gets a knowing look of agreement.

Pope pulls away, "I'm living a nightmare."

•

The medical examiner's take a dead body from a docked boat.

"So what happened?" A cop asks a man

"Well, I was up at the Mason outlet, and, uh, I seen this lump, and the crabs was just goin' to town on it, you know? So, I figured the best thing to do was, uh... throw him over in the ice chest and call y'all. I never saw anything like that before." The man answers

They wheel him through the port and Lana comes rushing over, "Scooter? Scooter? Oh, god!"

She cries looking down at his lifeless body.

"Who's that?" John B asks

"It's Scooter Grubbs. He was out during the storm." A girl answers, "Check out this pic I got. Dead body."

She pushes her phone towards the group.

"What kind of boat did he have?" JJ questions

"Somehow, that dirty bag copped a brand new Grady white. Everyone's out looking for it." She informs

They all share a look, knowing exactly where it lays.

•

Pope runs into the back porch of the Château, "Okay. So, um... we didn't see anything. We don't know anything. We need to have total and complete amnesia."

JJ stops flicking his lighter around, "Actually, Popes right for once. See, I agree with you sometimes. Deny, deny, deny."

"Guys, we can't keep that money." Kie chimes

"Okay. Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara." He argues

"We have to pass that off to Lana Grubbs." She says

"Yeah, she just lost her husband. She probably needs it more than any of us." Y/n comments

"It's also bad Karma." Kie adds

"Bad karma to be implicated in a felony, too." Pope says, "We gotta go dark."

"If that means we get to keep the money, then I agree." JJ replies

John B taps his shoulder, "I don't agree."

"What? Why?" He wonders

"Just think about it." He tells him, "This is Scooter Grubbs we're talking about. Right? Same dude that's buying individual cigarettes at the porthole. Shit, one time I saw this dude begging for change in the Save-a-Lot parking lot because he needed gas. We're talking about a dirtbag marina rat who's never had more than 40 bucks in his pocket, and all of a sudden, he's got a Grady white? Just sayin'."

They all move out to the deck.

John B continues on with his rant, "All right, so think about it, Pope. How does a marina rat get a Grady white?"

Pope inhales sharply, "Prostitution."

"Square groupers, bro." He replies, "Okay, flying under the radar, no aerial surveillance. They don't do that stuff during a hurricane. What does that mean? JJ?"

"They were straight smugglin'." He answers

"Smugglin'." He repeats, "And I guarantee there's a serious amount of contraband in the wreck."

Ditching the fishing seen they pile into John bs room.

"For the record, if that is a smuggling ship with illegal contraband on the inside of it..." he pauses, "It probably belongs to someone else."

"Minor details." Kie chimes

Pope waves around the cash, "They could come looking for it. Taking it would be catastrophically stupid."

JJ snatches the money, "Right. Well, stupid things have good outcomes all the time."

"I don't think that's true." Y/n comments

JJ gently slaps her face with the money, "I beg to differ. Look, all we need to do is figure out a way to get into the cargo hold of the wreck. Until then, we just lay low. Just act normal."

Pope sighs, "Right. And how exactly do we do that?"

"Kegger?" Kie suggests

•

Climbing over fallen trees, they find the perfect spot. They mess around with the kegger and the hose, splashing their faces while trying to spray it into their mouths.

Calming down, they fill the plastic solo cup. All of them drinking besides Pope, y/n settles for just one, not wanting Pope to feel like the only sober one.

Soon their little get together grows into a group.

•

“All right. You can’t understand the Outer-Banks without understanding the boneyard. It’s kinda like a three layer burrito. There’s us and our friends, the working class derelicts, from the cut. Then, there are the kooks, the rich second homers. They’re mostly from pouncey ass boarding schools, just rich trustafarian posers. Our natural enemies. And then, there are the tourons. Totally clueless. Here for a week on vacation with their families. Chum for the sharks.”

•

The teens disperse, talking to anyone that would hold a conversation. Pope being the one to struggle in this atmosphere.

A boy yells up to a girl on a broken tower, “Sarah! Sarah, be careful, okay?”

The sight of Sarah ruins Kie’s mood, “What is she doing here?”

John B follows her gaze.

•

“That’s Sarah Cameron, kook princess. Kiara’s best friend in the ninth grade, worst enemy in the tenth grade. I work on her dad’s boats, so, you know, I’ve seen her around.”

•

Kie can’t bother to look at her any longer and walks away, John B on the other hand keeps watching.

The boy continues to yell at her, “What are you doing?”

•

“Then that’s Topper, her not so pleasant boyfriend. Topper actually thinks Pogues were bred to mow lawns.”

•

He watches as he helps her down, her giggles can be heard over the music.

•

A man walks through a set of door, the chime alerts a worker, “Sorry, museum’s closed.”

“Yeah, sure, chief. I’ll only be just a minute.” He tells him walking further in the museum.

He stops in front a small replica of the Royal Merchant. He slides a picture out of an envelope and compares it to the ship.

“The Royal Merchant sunk in the great storm of 1829 with 400 million dollars of British government gold on board.” The worker informs, “The dream of generations of islanders. Lovely work, don’t you think?”

He hums, “mm-hm. Yeah. Lovely.”

•

Night falls and the bonfires light up the beach.

JJ offers John B a drink, “You want this one?”

“For me? Yeah, I’ll take a sip.” He replies

Just then Sarah and Topper pass by them.

JJ gets a bright idea, “Hey, Sarah! Sarah, can I interest you in a tasty Milwaukee beverage?”

She stops with Topper by her side, “No thanks.”

“Come on? Is it not fancy enough for you?” He asks

“No. We were just leaving.” She answers

Topper is already fed up with him, “Hey, you know what? I’ll take it. I’ll- Thank you, man. I appreciate it.”

JJ pulls back the cup, “That’s nice, but I didn’t ask you. Now if you said pretty please, maybe, but you didn’t.”

“Oh, pretty please.” He says, “Pretty please?”

JJ holds the cup out to Sarah, “You have it.”

Topper smacks the cup, “She doesn’t want it, you-“

JJ wastes no time trying to get at him, John B and Sarah pulling them apart.

“You’re so funny, man.” JJ spits

“Dirty Pogues!” He yells back

John B didn’t like what Topper had to say and shoved him. Everyone’s eyes are now on the bickering bunch.

Pope, Kie, and Y/n are quick to their friends side.

“John b!” Pope shouts, “We’re supposed to be incognito, remember?”

Sarah tries to stop Topper, “Babe, babe, babe, babe-“

The sound of Toppers solid right hook on John Bs face fills the night. The crowd of spectators ‘ooh’ watching John B hit the floor.

Topper kicks him into shoreline, “Hey, John B, don’t make me drown you like your old man, all right?”

The crowd chants, “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!”

The now soaked John B stands up and tackles him into the water.

“Give it to him!” JJ encourages

“John B, let it go!” Pope pleads

“Stop, you guys!” Kie shouts

John B gets the upper hand and nails punches into his side.

“Topper! Stop!” Sarah begs

“John B! Come on!” Y/n exclaims

They push apart a circle each other, John B decks Topper in the face. He eggs him on, he’s been waiting for this moment.

They wrestle a little more, John B drops him into the water, “Come on, Topper! Let’s go!”

A few more sloppy swings and John B is back in the water with Topper on top of him.

He’s drowning him.

Sarah is quick to notice, “Topper! Topper, stop! No!”

Y/n looks at Pope and JJ, “Do something! He’s drowning him.”

Next thing they know, the cocking of a gun clicks above Toppers head, he freezes. John B gasping for air under him.

JJ presses it down on him, “Yeah, you know what that is. Your move, broski.”

The other party goers run off on the sight in the gun.

“JJ!” Kie and Y/n yell

“Chill!” Pope urges him

“Stop! JJ!” Sarah screams, “Put the gun down.”

He keeps the gun to his head, “Did you say somethin’, princess?”

“We’re good. We’re good.” Topper tells him, “All right? Come on.”

“Kie! Can you check your psycho friend, please?” Sarah shouts

That comment does not fall onto deaf ears, if anything it sets JJ off.

He lets go of Topper and makes his way back up the sand.

“Okay, everyone, listen up!” He screams, “Get the hell off our side of the island!”

He raises the gun to the sky and fires off two shots.

Pope shoves him, “Are you crazy? You idiot! Why would you do that?”

“It’s not worth it!” Kie shouts

JJ pushes Pope back, “I’m saving his life, okay?”

Pope throws his hands around, “Stupid! You’re jeopardizing everything!”

Y/n is the only one by John Bs side trying to keep him up but his body becomes dead weight, “Holy shit! Guys!”

•

“There’s something about my father I haven’t mentioned. The week before he went missing, he says to me, ‘Bird, I think I found something. Your Uncle T’s gonna come stay for a while. I might have to vanish for a bit.’ So, he talks about vanishing, and he vanishes. Everyone says he was lost a sea but he’s still out there. I know it.”

•

John B jerks awake in his bed and footsteps are heading his way.

In walks the sheriff, “Get decent, sweetie. We need to talk.”

She leaves his room and waits by the back door, “Sorry to break in like this, but DCS called. They wanted me to check on you. See how you’re doing. So, how are you, besides the-“

“Oh, no, I’m- I’m great.” He says, “Yeah, fantastic. Uh… Thanks for comin’ by.”

“I’m so glad to hear you say that, John B, but I heard a few things that worried me.” She tells him, “Let me see if I can remember. Oh, yeah. One of the things I heard was that your Uncle Teddy, your guardian, hasn’t been in the state for three months.”

He looks up from what he’s cleaning, “Yeah, that’s false.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s true. I called the school.” She argues, “They said you used to be a good student, but now you’re failing all your classes.”

“No. No. I’m only failing one, and it’s history.” He corrects, “The dudes a dick. He’s out for me-“

She cuts him off, “I heard, there was a fight in the beach yesterday, and a gun was involved.”

He pats her shoulder, “Okay. Gun? No. Did I get in a dustup? Yes, but was there a gun? No. No way.”

“That’s okay. I know who it was. I’ll get to him.” She replies, “All I’m worried about right now is makin’ sure you’re in a safe home.”

He scoffs, “Yeah, super safe. Super sound, sturdy. You know what I mean? And Uncle T’s coming, so…”

“That what he told you?” She asks, “Well if he’s really coming home I think you should be allowed to stay.”

He sweeps off the table, “Thank you.”

“But if I stick my neck out for you, you have to help me. Tit for tat.” She says

This peaks his interest, “What is tat?”

She walks up to him, “Let me see, how can you help me? Oh, I know. So, a body was found in the March yesterday. Were you in the marsh yesterday?”

“Yeah, we were fishin’ for some drum.” He answers

“You catch anything?” She asks

“Nah, we were skunked.” He claims

“Strange. Fishing’s usually good after a storm. All sorts of things get stirred up. You come across a wreck yesterday?” She questions

He’s quick to answer, “No.”

She sighs, “You’re skimmin’ just above the surface, John B. Now, down here is foster care, juvie. Pretty big drop for a smart kid like you. Up here is you and your little friends doing whatever you want. Outer Banks… or foster care on the main land. If I was you, I’d start flappin’ my wings. Now, you sure you didn’t come across a wreck yesterday?”

He sits down and shakes his head, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure.”

She leans down to him, “It’s better if you didn’t, you understand? Now, I’m gonna look the other way, as long as you stay out of the marsh.”

She goes to leave out the back, “I got dogs livin’ better than this, John B. You might wanna think about cleaning up.”

•

The group sits in silence in his backyard.

“Look, I’m calling it off. All right?” He announces, “Peterkin said, if I stay out of the marsh, she’ll help me with DCS.”

“And you believed her?” JJ asks

“Yes, I believe her, JJ.” He answers

“An actual cop, John B. You believed a cop.” He says

“All I gotta do is stay out of the marsh for a couple days, and she’ll help my out.” He explains, “It doesn’t help that your ass was the one shooting the gun.”

“You know what I should have done? Just let Topper drown your ass.” He fums

“Topper was gonna drown me?” He questions

“Sure looked like it.” He tells him, “I mean have you looked in a mirror, recently?”

He eggs him on, “Tell me some more. Come on.”

“They always win, don’t they, man? Kooks versus Pogues. They always, always win!” He explains

“Look, it’s okay!” Kie chimes

“No, it’s not okay!” He whines, “It is not! They don’t want us to go down into the marsh. That means there’s something valuable down there, and you know it.”

“And it’s totally not because of Scooters dead body washing up or the fact that they can’t find his boat.” Y/n comments

He scoffs and looks at Pope, “I understand why you don’t wanna go. You’re the golden boy. You got way too much to risk.”

He looks at Kie and Y/n, “And you two- I mean you’re already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?”

He turns back to John B, “But you and me, man, we got nothing to lose! We really don’t, all right? And I know it didn’t use to be that way for you.”

“I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about it.” John B mumbles

“So that’s it?” He asks

He pushes JJ out his way, “Just get out my way, bro.”

“John B, listen to me. I have a plan.” He voices, “You got the key to Cameron’s big boat, right? There’s scuba gear inside. We just borrow that, and then we go down to the wreck this afternoon, and that is what’s going to save you, man. You don’t see rich kids going into foster care, do you?”

•

“You know, I should have learned a long time ago to never listen to JJ. He’s full of bad ideas like stealing from my rich boss. But this time, he was right. I had nothing to lose. My dad said the island was America on steroids. The haves and have nots like anyplace, but magnified and multiplied. The way I see it, they games rigged. Maybe it always has been. With no parents, no money… and no one looking out for me, I got no chance. Unless I make it on my own.”

•

John B is quick to grab the scuba gear, loading it into a bag. He goes to slip out and runs into Sarah.

“Oh! Hey.” She greets, “Are you stalking us? Plotting your revenge?”

“Yeah. Why don’t you just tell your daddy I blew the bilge on Druthers? Everything is good to go. Just toppin’ off these tanks.” He tells her loading up his boat.

“Hey. Are you okay?” She asks, “Cause that eye of yours looks really gnarly.”

He slides into his boat, “Yeah, you know what? You can tell Topper he won the first round. I’ll get him next time.”

“So there’s just gonna be a reign of terror on this island now?” She questions

He unhooks his boat, “You know, wars have been started for less, Sarah Cameron.”

“Okay. Can we drop the whole Pogues versus Kooks thing? It is really stupid.” She confesses

He sighs, “Oh… You know, it’s easy to say when you’re a Kook.”

Her salute to him turns into the bird, he steers off to the Château.

•

A deputy speaks through a megaphone, “Are y’all ready for a water party today? All right. Now, all kiddin’ aside, your job is to keep privates off the marsh so we can do our job and find this wreck. That’s straight from Sheriff Peterkin. Do not forget your sunscreen, ladies. Bring a lot of liquids.”

“Does that include Natty Light?” A woman shouts

“I don’t care what swill you bring. That’s on your own recognizance.” He answers, “All right? What else do you got to worry about? Let’s go!”

Two men approach the deputy, “Excuse me, officer? We’re here about the missing boat.”

He shakes their hands, “What can I do for you fellas?”

“Associates of the owner.” They inform, “Here to help however we can. We’re devastated about Scooter. We just feel sick about it. You mind if we join your armada? Take a look for ourselves?”

“Yeah, why not? Extra set of eyes.” He replies

The two men hop in a boat, “We’ll let you know if we find anything, officer.”

•

It’s peak golden hour as the friends go along with JJs plan.

Kie checks the gear, “These are empty. You took empty tanks?”

She checks the other, “Okay, this one’s a quarter full. It’s enough for one of us.”

“Love it when a plan comes together.” Pope chides

“Does anyone know how to dive?” She asks, “Anybody?”

They all stay quiet.

“It’s kind of a Kook sport.” JJ comments

“I… read about it.” Pope says

“Great, Pope read about it, so someone’s gonna die.” She nags

Y/n rubs her face, “No one’s gonna die.”

“Look, you put the thing in your mouth and breathe.” JJ states, “How hard could it be?”

“Well, if you come up too fast, nitrogen gets into your blood, and you get the bends.” Pope informs

JJ bends over, “Bends like, bend over and…”

“The bends kill you.” He clarifies

“Look, if none of you want to go, I’ll go.” Y/n offers

John B waves his hand at her, “No, no. I can- I can dive.”

JJ doesn’t even try to stop him, “You can dive. I’m cool with that.”

“Since when can you dive?” Kie asks

“I’ll do it. It’s fine.” He assures

Pope sits up straight, “Let me do some calculations real quick. That boats about 30 feet down. So it’ll take 25 minutes at that depth. Which means you need to make your safety stop at about… ten feet. All right? For two minutes.”

“Yeah, yeah. Ten feet, two minutes. Got it.” He says

Kie strips off her shirt and jumps into the water, everyone shares a look of confusion. Wondering, why on earth she decided to jump in the water.

“What was that all about?” Pope asks

“I don’t know, but I liked it. A lot.” JJ answers

“Of course you did.” Y/n comments walking over to where she just jumped.

“I mean if you want, you could do the same thing.” He replies

She looks down at the water for her, “Keep dreaming, Maybank.”

“I will.” He mutters and then clears his throat, “Uh, so… Yeah. Uh, when you- when you’re done there, you look for the cargo hold. You stick this thing inside and twist and pull, okay?”

“Stick in, twist, pull.” John b repeat to him

Kie comes back to the surface and brushes the hair from her face, “Hey! I tied my T-shirt to the anchor chain about ten feet down. It’s where you need to do your safety stop.”

Pope helps him gear up, “Keep an eye on this. You need to make sure you have enough air to decompress.”

“Okay, how much do I need?” He asks

“Unclear. Breathe as little as possible.” He tells him

“Zen. Think Zen, you know?” JJ chimes

“Hey, if we get caught in the marsh, we’re basically screwed, so… better get a move on.” Pope worries

Kie is quick to get back on the boat, she makes her way to John B. She gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Diver down.” He says

“Diver down.” She replies

Pope and JJ share a look and Y/n has a smug look on her face, honestly quite impressed that she made a move.

He jumps into the water, giving them a salute before diving down. Making his way to the sunken boat.

A police siren chirps at them on the boat.

“Shit.” Pope curses

“Guys, that’s the police.” JJ points out

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me.” He mumbles

“Just act normal.” Y/n tells them sitting next Kie.

“Evening officers.” Pope greets

They pull they boat up right next to them, “Evening.”

They tie the two boat together unaware of what’s happening beneath them.

The cop lowers his glasses, “What are you kids doing? You know the marsh is closed?”

He receives a series of no’s.

“Why is it closed?” Pope asks

“Well, we’re conducting a search out here. Boat went down.” He explains, “Seen anything?”

He once again gets a bunch on no’s.

“Where’s your friend you always hang with? He here?” He asks

“He’s working.” Kie answers

The deputy hums and steps onto the boat, “I’m gonna check your little boat out.”

Y/n puts on her sunglasses, “Be our guest.”

Pope backs up, “Yeah, hop aboard. You wanna- check- uh, check her out.”

John B stops at Kie’s tied t-shirt, looking up he can see that his friends are no longer alone, and he only has a minute of air left.

The deputy picks up a life jacket, “Uh… you got another one of these?”

“Yeah. Of course. It’s, uh… it’s in the hold.” JJ says

Kie and Y/n stand up, “Show ‘em.”

JJ opens the hold and pulls one out.

He nods, “All right.”

He then walks to the edge of the boat.

“Be careful you don’t wanna slip.” Pope warns

Putting on his glasses, he looks into the water but sees nothing, “All right. Beautiful day innit?”

He walks back and climbs into his boat, untying it from theirs, “Let us know if you see anything on your way out.”

Y/n gives him a half assed salute, “Yes sir.”

“Will do.” Pope replies

“We’ll be gone soon sir.” JJ assures

He starts up his boat, “Yes, you will.”

The two officers drive off and the teens are quick to the side of the boat.

“He’s definitely out of air.” Pope states

John Bs head pokes through the water, they all let out a sigh of relief.

“How’d it go down there?” JJ asks “Did you find anything?”

John B pants, “Did I find anything?”

He tosses up a drenched bag.

“Yeah, there we go! That’s my boy!” He cheers

“You okay?” Kie worries

“Yeah, I ran out of air.” He answers

“You scared the shit out of me.” She complains as he climbs back in.

“Yeah, the cops were up here, but, uh… took care of ‘em.” Pope says

“Yeah, you kinda missed the show brother.” JJ claims

“Yo, guys? We got a bogey at two o’clock.” Y/n alerts

They all turn their heads and sure enough there was a boat coming their way.

“Do you recognize that boat?” Pope wonders

“Never seen it.” She answers

“What are they doing back there?” Kie asks, “The marsh is closed.”

“I don’t know. Let’s not stick around and find out.” JJ voices

John B strips off the gear, “JJ, get the bowline.”

“Should we wait on ‘em?” Pope asks

“No, we’re not gonna wait on them.” Y/n answers

“Go get the stern. Go!” John B orders

Kie looks at Pope, “Are you joking?”

“Guys, don’t wait for me. Go.” JJ urges

They slowly start to move.

“I don’t like the look of this.” John B admits

“Are they coming for us?” JJ questions

“Maybe they’re fishing.” Pope suggests

John B steers them into the marsh, the other boat not far behind.

“Hey, guys, they’re following us.” Kie voices

“Dude you gotta go faster!” JJ exclaims, “Gun it!”

A gun fires and misses the teens by mere inches.

“Get down!” Y/n shouts making them all hit the floor.

Another shot flies by.

“Oh, my god. We’re gonna die.” Pope cries

Kie gets up, “Shit, Pope, move.”

She starts to grab the fishing gear, unaware of the rifle being aimed at her. It only misses her by a couple inches.

“Get down, Kie!” John B commands

She tosses out the net and their chasers run right into it. It’s wraps around their motor, leaving them stuck.

They all stand back up.

“Holy shit, Kie.” Y/n marvels giving her a high five.

They all hoot and holler, glad that they are all alive.

•

Making it back to the Château’s dock they drop the bag, unable to keep waiting.

“What do you think it is?” Kie asks

“Gotta be money, seeing how bad those fuckers wanted it.” Y/n answers

“That or a couple of keys with street value to the low to mid mils.” JJ smiles

“Can we please just open the bag?” Pope loudly pleads

John B looks up at him, “Wow, Pope. That’s a rare outburst of emotion.”

“Okay. You guys are literally killing me with anticipation. Just open the bag. We almost died over this.” He complains

John B opens the bag to reveal a capsule of some sort. Twisting off the top he dumps the contents into his hand.

It’s a compass.

“Oh, wow. Yep. That’s about right.” Pope nags, “Good job, everybody. We found a compass.”

JJ notices that John B has yet to move, “Dude, what? It’s not worth anything?”

“This was my father’s.” He replies

[immabethehero]

Bruno Definitely Has Friends

Guess who got inspirations like two effing hours before the deadline of @wdtajn! This brat!

I am once again forcing you to learn about my niche taste in musicals. This song, “I Have Friends”, is from Crazy Ex Girlfriend, probably one of the funniest and smartest musical dramedies I’ve ever seen. A lot of the songs are up on Youtube, go check it out!

Here’s the song this story is based off of:

Dinner at the Madrigal Casita means 14-year-old Bruno hopes his mother does not ask any questions regarding how his day went, or how his social life is going, or anything involving him, honestly.

Julieta prattles on about her grades in class, how she’s the top of her class, and how the other girls want her to bake cakes for their birthdays. Bruno glances at Pepa a few times, hoping to feel a sense of connection, but his sister simply continues reading her novel, ignoring everything.

“And what about you, Bruno?” Bruno nearly drops his fork when he hears his name. He nervously looks up.

“What?”

“How is school going?” Alma asks.

“Fine.”

“Have you made any new friends?”

Bruno hesitates. He could be honest and say no one has bothered to even acknowledge him at all this semester, and get lectured for it, or…

“Yes! I have friends! I definitely have friends!” he says. “No one can say I don’t have friends! They’re all coming over to a lil’ hangout session this Saturday.” He hopes his mother does not hear Pepa’s scoff, or notice Julieta raising an eyebrow.

Alma raises an eyebrow. “Really? I’ve never seen them come over. Who are they?”

Bruno racks his head for people that come to mind.

“Friends, friends, friendly friends, time to find some friends…” he mumbles/sings to himself…

“There’s Félix! Agustín! Consuela, she’s super into trompo and soccer!” Pepa snickers to herself behind her novel. Julieta shakes her head in shame.

“There’s a girl with a moustache, a boy with a port wine stain, and the janitor who lives in a donkey cart behind the school,” Bruno finishes.

Alma nods, disturbed by Bruno’s taste in friends. “Very well. I hope you… kids have fun.”

As Alma begins to talk to Pepa, Bruno drops his head on the table, relieved. He’s so tired from the interaction, he doesn’t even feel the roll of bread Julieta discreetly throws at him. Now all he has to do is find a way to bribe all six people to come to his house tomorrow.

*

“Bruno, one of these days you need to come out and socialize with the townsfolk,” Julieta advises. “You’re never going to find friends if you don’t.”

50-year-old Bruno buries himself deeper into his hammock. “I’m fine with that, I have all the friends I need.”

“Family members don’t count. Neither do your rats.”

Bruno swings out of the hammock and confronts his sister. “I have friends! I definitely have friends! Objectively, I can say that I have all the friends! Human friends at that! They’re coming over to my house tomorrow night!”

“Oh yeah? Like who?”

Bruno snaps his fingers in thought. “Friends, friends, friendly friends, time to get some friends…” he mumbles/sings to himself. Julieta watches him apprehensively.

Bruno quickly resorts to all the people he “interacted” with yesterday. “There’s Matias, Vincent, Señora Hernandez, she really likes to raise the roof. The lady who trampled me with her wheelbarrow, Agustín’s friend from the music shop, and the grocery clerk with half an eyelid!”

Julieta narrows her eyes suspiciously. Bruno hides his shaking hands under his ruana, smiling strained.

Finally, she sighs and walks away. “OK then. I hope you guys have fun.”

The minute she’s gone Bruno pumps his arms in the air, singing and dancing to himself. He doesn’t even acknowledge the cheese Julieta throws at him. “Yes! I have friends, I definitely have friends! Friends, friends, friendly friends, I have all the friends! Whoo!”

All he has to do is bribe all six people to come over tomorrow night.

[jessicas-pi]

Problem Children AU incorrect quotes

Jadan, throwing his head into Esme's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Esme, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty annoying, that's what you are. --- Asajj: If you want my advice- Esme: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your boyfriend. Multiple times. Asajj: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, he’s also tried to kill me. Quinlan: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder. --- *Esme is talking about her past* Esme: I guess it was that day I came home to a cold, empty house, devoid of light and love, and I knew then that my sorrows would only grow. Ahsoka: Esme, this is the saddest life story I have ever heard! And you haven't even covered the teen years! Jadan: Oh, I'm sure it gets better! Esme: Ha! No, at eleven, things really took a turn for the worse.

--- Cody: Something tells me Jadan's going to be a bit more unhinged today... Jadan, holding a lit match and a bag of space cheetos: Leave me be, Obi-Wan isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral. --- Obi-Wan to Jadan: First rule of battle, Padawan... don’t ever let them know where you are. Anakin, shouting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo! Obi-Wan: Of course, there are other schools of thought. --- Anakin: Alright Ahsoka, Jadan. Let's go over this one more time. Anakin: If something breaks? Jadan: We try to fix it before Padme gets home. Anakin: If it doesn't work? Ahsoka: We blame Lux. Lux: Seriously guys, what the heck?! --- Esme: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.." Jadan: I saw you. Esme: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Merrin in a tooka costume. --- Esme, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs? Ahsoka: It means like in hand-to-hand combat. Esme: Ohhhh- Jadan: Both of you get out of this kitchen. --- Ahsoka: Wait, hold up, why do you draw yourself like that? Esme: Uh, like what? Ahsoka: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs. Esme: Uh, this is what I look like. Ahsoka: Esme: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE! Ahsoka: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones. Jadan: I wanna have a cowboy hat! Esme: Okay, arms and hat. *draws them* Lux: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too! Esme: You can't just take Jadan's hat idea, Lux! He thought it up all by himself like a good boy! Come up with your own thing! Lux: But I wanna look cool! Ahsoka: Put him on one of those stupid baby tricycles. Lux: Do not do that! Esme: Tricycle, done. *draws it* Boba, want anything? Boba, making finger guns: Pew pew. Esme: You're not allowed to have weapons right now. Boba, making finger guns: Pew pew. Esme: You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting. --- Jadan: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Esme: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear complaints.