#that elf is a narc

[theanoninyourinbox]

happy new year have muppet doodles

[dark-elf-writes]

Wei Wuxian and the rest of the gang get together one day and absolutely wreck Jin Guangshan’s cyber truck

They never get caught

You know that John Mulaney bit about the party at the house of the teacher they hated?

That is Jin Guangshan going out of town for one (1) weekend and Meng Yao, knowing full well what he is doing, convincing Jin Zixuan to throw a party.

And the entire school, no matter how much they might hate Meng Yao, all collectively decide they are going with the sole purpose of fucking shit up to an astronomical degree.

The Cybertruck is destroyed. The house is trashed. Lan Xichen got drunk and stole anything not nailed down (something he would be incredibly embarrassed about later). Mingjue jumped off the second story and broke several tables. Wei Wuxian drank anything that he could get his hands on some of which were definitely not for human consumption. Wangji spiked down a priceless vase as a distraction when the cops showed up. Jiang Cheng, still in a cast, sent the police on a multi block chase before Wei Wuxian pulled him into a nearby alley and the two of them got away.

Like these kids are feral.

There are so many people at the party that no one can figure out who did what. All security footage of the entire weekend was conveniently “lost”. Somehow all the blame for organizing the party is put on Jin Zixun who is very put out that his uncle is making him actually work to pay back the damages.

All of them come to school Monday still hung over (and in Wei Wuxian’s case possibly still drunk) and agree that it was the best decision any of them have ever made.

[npd-characters-tournament]

IT'S FINALLY HERE I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A FLAKE

Propaganda

Xanthomonas "Xanthe"

Everyone's favourite bigender narcissist scene queen/king. a myspace celebrity in the mid 2000s, he's famous for his music but even more so for his drama. a living embodiment of the "h8rz maek meh famouz xx" and "make a scene" era of the internet, she'd rather get attention from hate than ever be forgotten. the propaganda is that he comes from a story about redemption and shining light on the "unwanted/bad/unhelpable" victims and is written with explicit intention of honoring narcissism as well as other PDs in its full range and depth with a more compassionate and anti-stigma lens. ALSO HE'S MY SPECIAL LITTLE BOYGIRL AND HE CAN CAUSE AS MUCH DRAMA AS SHE WANTS TO, ITS ENTERTAINING we love to see it. RAWR XD it up !!!! one vote for xanthe is one vote for the spread of xanthomonas bacteria !!

---

Mithrun

crashed narcissist who lives for revenge against the creature that took his livelihood away. in his youth, he was very proud and looked down upon everybody. narced out so hard that he made a pact with a demon to be able to live out his wildest fantasies of ideal love and luxury. also, stole his brother's girl, not because he liked her, but because he was jealous. now, post ego death, he is learning how to stand on his own feet again and want things for himself. very cool. also, he is a cute elf

[shifter-with-a-heart]

S/O I have / have had.

Cookie.

Space rock.

Orc.

Narc.

Space Elf.

Cult Leader.

Space Marine.

(This is the ones I can remember.)🥀🥀🥀

[grimeclown]

Not entertaining questions about whether making a joke about incest is a bannable offense (it's not) because it's beside the point and charlotte wasn't banned for it. Not going to entertain questions about the ethics of posting full on real life nudes just straight up penetration on main without tagging it because that's also not what charlotte was banned for and it's beside the point.

What charlotte was banned for was making jokes about elf girl armpits and feminizing spit or whatever and someone decided that posting these things without feeling the need to tag them constituted targeted sexual harassment. And someone on staff agreed with them. And if you think this is just and good then you're at best a fucking narc and at worst an enemy of free expression lol

[sunshine-tattoo]

and what you're gonna tell the elf cops that Marcille accomplished what you were too pussy to do?

ya gonna narc on her, princey?

or you gonna let her help falin get back to normal and stop being a whiny bitch about it?

so you wouldn't use dark magic to bring falin? would you even touch her remains, shuro? is there a limit where you'd go for her? not eating or sleeping is not a sign of devotion, risking everything you have, every morality, every law without a second thought THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS TO BE DEVOTED

[dark-elf-writes]

If Harry ever dies all three of them will treat Harry’s arm as a trophy and start giving speeches like they just won an Oscar

Harry: so this is the afterlife huh. I wonder where my fam-

James full on sprinting at him: He’s here!

Harry: aww he’s going to hug me isn’t he *gets snatched by the arm and dragged to a little red carpet stage set up where james is clutching Harry’s arm to his chest like a trophy with the soul mark facing out*

James: thank you! Thank you! I just want to thank prof Minnie for giving me so many detentions! Mrs. Norris for getting me caught so many times! My amazing wife for being a total narc! And my DEER friends for spending hours upon hours planning the best way to make the great hall into a beach during sixth year!

Harry: what the fuck

This is even funnier because I was thinking about this one being MOD Harry to give Harry immortality which opens the possibility of them doing this every time Harry dies

[theboysfromaustin]

Anders: So, young Ian's kindergarten does Elf on the Shelf...

Dermot: And we're in the camp of "this stuff isn't real, but other families have different traditions" but it still freaks him out.

Kazuo: I hate that thing. I didn't spend my youth smashing security cameras to let some tiny narc into the house.

Wade: I don't understand the whole "use mythical figures to scare your kids into being good" thing.

Gav: They prefer that over parenting.

Anders: I'm glad it wasn't a thing when I was a kid because it would have terrified me.

Kazuo: Yeah, my dad would have kept it in the corner of my room to keep me in line...actually, I'm surprised he didn't ditch me in a Toys For Tots bin.

Young Ian: There's...no elf in here, is there...?

Dermot: No, lad.

Gav: If there were, Martha would have eaten it.

Anders: Just like that parrot when dad Gav let birds in the house.

[iasaim]

It's A Living

I wish I was born an elf. What a life that would’ve been. Spending all year making toys in some cozy workshop whilst singing jaunty songs and sipping hot cocoa.  Working for a perpetually jolly guy with a white beard and a red suit who takes the wonderful things we’ve made and distributes them to children all across the globe. Sounds like a pretty sweet gig, doesn’t it? But that sorta thing isn’t in the cards for lesser devils like myself. Instead, I spend my days spying on the rotten little shits of the world. Juvenal delinquents in training destined to become tomorrow’s thieves, thugs, arsonists, and murderers. Tommy slaps his kid sister for taking his toy truck and then lies about it to his mother. Susie steals money from the donation box that was meant for sick kids in the hospital. Billy nearly burns down his grammar school lighting the grass on fire behind the building. With yours truly lurking in the shadows and taking notes to report back to el jefe. It isn’t like the other fella who goes by all sorts of names, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Santa Claus, etc. In remote regions of europe my boss is known as Krampus or Knecht Ruprecht, but in most places he doesn’t even have a moniker. That’s the strange thing about humans and their spirituality. They seem to think that simply refusing to believe in evil somehow negates its existence. Maybe that’s why none of the miscreant rugrats I narc on write letters to my guy asking for itching powder, stink bombs, and switchblades. The retribution they receive for their misdeeds is dismissed as nightmares or the product of overactive imaginations.  Their parents assume it’s all make-believe, and eventually the kids bury it in their subconscious along with the rest of their childhood trauma. That might make what we do seem pointless, but I’d like to think that some of them see the light. Being visited by a giant horned demon, beaten with birch branches, and taken on a personal guided tour through yuletide hell is bound to make an impression.

[timeclonemike]

You've heard of

ELF on the SHELF

Now get ready for

Santa's A Narc and Being On The Naughty List Is More Fun

[bameme]

"You've heard of elf on the shelf -"

Against my will, every single time it happens.

In this house we hate little magic narcs.

[nananarc]

Grey Warden Commander Nianna

Painting Process under the cut:

[dark-elf-writes]

Oh my god the neighbor’s are once again playing music so loud that I can hear all of it and I’m going to lose my mind.

[noxwithoutstars]

✧｡:*▹ Alderelfang

✧ Alderelfang is an Aldernic term for when has, or wishes to have, half elf ears, claws, and fangs.

✧ Requested by @partygoermack

[ ID: A digital watercolor wash of reds, oranges, purples, and peaches on a dark indigo background. Words are in turquiose: “DNI: Racist, Prolife/anti-abortion, transmed, anti-BLM, homophobic, transphobic, racist, misogynistic, exclusionist, anti-MOGAI/xenos/neos, anti-anti, anti-decolonization, anti-lesboy/turigirl, anti-otherkin, TERF/radfem, believes ‘narc uhbuse’ is real.” End ID. ]

[manythingstoseeanddo-blog]

Modern Christmas in a nutshell. Don't even get me started on that creepy little narc-ing elf.

[the-mechanisms-system]

Pinned post revamp!

We're the Mechanisms System! We're a traumagenic monoconscious system. We suspect OSDD-1b

We're explicitly endo-safe, so please DNI if you support fakeclaiming, harassing, or mocking endogenic systems.

We have NPD w/ ASPD traits. If you support "narc abuse" terminology fuck off. Or any cluster B abuse for that matter

Pro informed self dx, pro psych + prison abolition, anarchist, anti fascist, etc

Headmate intros under the cut, as well as terms and pronouns we use both collectively and individually!

Collective pronouns: it/he/they

Intros!

Terms we're comfortable with: system (and all variations such as collective, group, etc), headmate, systemmate/member, alter, plural, multiple

Terms we don't use: facets, parts

Elliott- he/fae || no known role || fae || transmasc, gnc, cottagecore art boy. absolute ray of sunshine.

Elrían/Trace- they/it || host || elf || the "default setting" (affectionate). Vin's partner. (NOT TRANS RACE. TRACE IS STRAIGHT UP JUST MY NAME.)

Corvid- he/xe || protector || human || punk, anarchist, one of the two NPD symptom holders, often angry. favorite color is purple

Gavin- he/him || caretaker || introject/fictive, demon || Elrían's bf. rarely fronts, if ever. deals more with things on the inside.

Cr- he/they/xe || none(?) || human || pirate. mischievous and adventurous, a bit of a troublemaker

Glitch- it/its || none || robot/android || calm, analytical, curious. rarely fronts.

Riley/Riles- they/them || syskid/little || human || rarely fronts, easily overwhelmed. they wont be interacting here.

Dormant but we don't wanna delete their intros

Sarin- they/them(?) || who knows || human(?) || the other NPD symptom holder, arrogant af