#that elf is a narc

[theanoninyourinbox]

happy new year have muppet doodles

[dark-elf-writes]

If Harry ever dies all three of them will treat Harry’s arm as a trophy and start giving speeches like they just won an Oscar

Harry: so this is the afterlife huh. I wonder where my fam-

James full on sprinting at him: He’s here!

Harry: aww he’s going to hug me isn’t he *gets snatched by the arm and dragged to a little red carpet stage set up where james is clutching Harry’s arm to his chest like a trophy with the soul mark facing out*

James: thank you! Thank you! I just want to thank prof Minnie for giving me so many detentions! Mrs. Norris for getting me caught so many times! My amazing wife for being a total narc! And my DEER friends for spending hours upon hours planning the best way to make the great hall into a beach during sixth year!

Harry: what the fuck

This is even funnier because I was thinking about this one being MOD Harry to give Harry immortality which opens the possibility of them doing this every time Harry dies

[squidaped-oyt]

Very funny to think about higher-ranking houses trying to poach Fiorenzo from House de Riva after everything settles a little post game and being baffled when the answer is always 'No 💖'

[grimeclown]

Not entertaining questions about whether making a joke about incest is a bannable offense (it's not) because it's beside the point and charlotte wasn't banned for it. Not going to entertain questions about the ethics of posting full on real life nudes just straight up penetration on main without tagging it because that's also not what charlotte was banned for and it's beside the point.

What charlotte was banned for was making jokes about elf girl armpits and feminizing spit or whatever and someone decided that posting these things without feeling the need to tag them constituted targeted sexual harassment. And someone on staff agreed with them. And if you think this is just and good then you're at best a fucking narc and at worst an enemy of free expression lol

[abyssal-werewolf]

time for a new pinned post >:)

DNI and intros to my headmates under the cut!

I'm Istasha, a shapeshifting void-creature and the host of a monoconscious median system called The Exodus Fleet. I'm 21 years old (same as the body) and all of us either share that age or are adults without a defined age. My pronouns are she/it and I'm female, just not in an (entirely) human way. We're autistic and have ADHD and BPD, which is also where our nonhumanity comes from (mostly from the BPD tho). We are not at all spiritual or religious, but support any and all belief systems!

Who you might meet here:

me (lol)

Frank - he/him, hellhound

Wave - they/he, water dragon/dinosaur

Sun/Sundrop/Sunny - he/it, jester angel

Opportunity - she/her, Mars Rover

Kali - she/her, human

Kade - she/fae, forest elf

Beast - it/its, canine monster

Autumn Trees - he/him, frisian horse

Ghost - she/it, ghost dog

Ember - she/it, cyborg dragon

NME - he/it/code, AI in a synthetic wyvern body

Selkie - she/her, spirit fox

Sissix - she/xir, alien

DNI:

Ohan - he/they (they in a plural sense), alien

Kairo - they/them, anthro feline

anti-endo

supportive of inherently harmful paraphilias (not limited to "the big three"), doesn't matter if you're pro- or anti-contact ("supportive" means in this case any action that tries to normalize or encourage these paraphilias. I DO know that not all zoophiles/pedophiles/etc are abusive but the second you try to normalize your paraphilic DISORDER (yes there is a difference), I'm done with you)

demonize ANY disorder or mental illness, including all personality disorders, schizophrenia, psychosis, etc. Also "narc abuse" isn't real, you're just ableist :) self-proclaimed "Empaths" are on thin ice

try to bring shipcourse to this blog in any form

anti-alterhuman, -otherkin, -therian, etc.

kinnie/kin for fun

racist, homophobic, antisemitic, ableist, etc.

against any and all good-faith sexualities and gender identities

people who try to force spiritual explanations for any of our experiences on us

transX/transid/radqueer (this does NOT include people with BIID, transspecies folks and people who identify as transage due to being plural or certain kintypes)

p-shifters (does NOT include endels and other nonhumans who are physically-identifying due to delusions)

anti-factkin

additionally, if you piss me off in whichever way, you'll be blocked.

[sunshine-tattoo]

and what you're gonna tell the elf cops that Marcille accomplished what you were too pussy to do?

ya gonna narc on her, princey?

or you gonna let her help falin get back to normal and stop being a whiny bitch about it?

so you wouldn't use dark magic to bring falin? would you even touch her remains, shuro? is there a limit where you'd go for her? not eating or sleeping is not a sign of devotion, risking everything you have, every morality, every law without a second thought THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS TO BE DEVOTED

[theboysfromaustin]

Anders: So, young Ian's kindergarten does Elf on the Shelf...

Dermot: And we're in the camp of "this stuff isn't real, but other families have different traditions" but it still freaks him out.

Kazuo: I hate that thing. I didn't spend my youth smashing security cameras to let some tiny narc into the house.

Wade: I don't understand the whole "use mythical figures to scare your kids into being good" thing.

Gav: They prefer that over parenting.

Anders: I'm glad it wasn't a thing when I was a kid because it would have terrified me.

Kazuo: Yeah, my dad would have kept it in the corner of my room to keep me in line...actually, I'm surprised he didn't ditch me in a Toys For Tots bin.

Young Ian: There's...no elf in here, is there...?

Dermot: No, lad.

Gav: If there were, Martha would have eaten it.

Anders: Just like that parrot when dad Gav let birds in the house.

[dark-elf-writes]

Oh my god the neighbor’s are once again playing music so loud that I can hear all of it and I’m going to lose my mind.

[pheonix-inside]

Elf on the shelf is a narc

[iasaim]

It's A Living

I wish I was born an elf. What a life that would’ve been. Spending all year making toys in some cozy workshop whilst singing jaunty songs and sipping hot cocoa.  Working for a perpetually jolly guy with a white beard and a red suit who takes the wonderful things we’ve made and distributes them to children all across the globe. Sounds like a pretty sweet gig, doesn’t it? But that sorta thing isn’t in the cards for lesser devils like myself. Instead, I spend my days spying on the rotten little shits of the world. Juvenal delinquents in training destined to become tomorrow’s thieves, thugs, arsonists, and murderers. Tommy slaps his kid sister for taking his toy truck and then lies about it to his mother. Susie steals money from the donation box that was meant for sick kids in the hospital. Billy nearly burns down his grammar school lighting the grass on fire behind the building. With yours truly lurking in the shadows and taking notes to report back to el jefe. It isn’t like the other fella who goes by all sorts of names, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Santa Claus, etc. In remote regions of europe my boss is known as Krampus or Knecht Ruprecht, but in most places he doesn’t even have a moniker. That’s the strange thing about humans and their spirituality. They seem to think that simply refusing to believe in evil somehow negates its existence. Maybe that’s why none of the miscreant rugrats I narc on write letters to my guy asking for itching powder, stink bombs, and switchblades. The retribution they receive for their misdeeds is dismissed as nightmares or the product of overactive imaginations.  Their parents assume it’s all make-believe, and eventually the kids bury it in their subconscious along with the rest of their childhood trauma. That might make what we do seem pointless, but I’d like to think that some of them see the light. Being visited by a giant horned demon, beaten with birch branches, and taken on a personal guided tour through yuletide hell is bound to make an impression.

[timeclonemike]

You've heard of

ELF on the SHELF

Now get ready for

Santa's A Narc and Being On The Naughty List Is More Fun

[bameme]

"You've heard of elf on the shelf -"

Against my will, every single time it happens.

In this house we hate little magic narcs.

[nananarc]

Grey Warden Commander Nianna

Painting Process under the cut:

[noxwithoutstars]

✧｡:*▹ Alderelfang

✧ Alderelfang is an Aldernic term for when has, or wishes to have, half elf ears, claws, and fangs.

✧ Requested by @partygoermack

[ ID: A digital watercolor wash of reds, oranges, purples, and peaches on a dark indigo background. Words are in turquiose: “DNI: Racist, Prolife/anti-abortion, transmed, anti-BLM, homophobic, transphobic, racist, misogynistic, exclusionist, anti-MOGAI/xenos/neos, anti-anti, anti-decolonization, anti-lesboy/turigirl, anti-otherkin, TERF/radfem, believes ‘narc uhbuse’ is real.” End ID. ]

[manythingstoseeanddo-blog]

Modern Christmas in a nutshell. Don't even get me started on that creepy little narc-ing elf.

[dark-elf-writes]

Fun fact! I got into an argument with my older sibling and blanked on any gender neutral insults so I called them a “fugly mother fucking wet sock” because anyone can be ugly, anyone can fuck a mother, and anyone can be a wet sock of a human being.

This is a gift and I adore it.

One time someone told me I gave off the vibe of someone that reminded the teacher there was homework and I’ve never been more devastated tbh.