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smittenmeraki · 1 day ago

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Surprisingly not SBG related 😅

I just finsihed reading All For The Game and I am so hyperfixated and need to rant about it

Spoilers

1. People do not talk enough about how Neil told Kevin to get his pycho on a leash or he will and the forever after Andrew told him to never pull his leash again, they highlight his perfect memory all of the time and this is just another one of those moment but like Andrew knew that Neil was right when he said that. He does have a leash, and Kevin has pulled it a lot, whether he means to or not. But Neil has it too, but he doesnt use it the same, instead he holds tight and gives Andrew the choice, every time he give him the choice.

Like Andrew knows wholeheartedly Neil is his weak point even if he refuses to admit it but he has to say something about being emotionally manipulated, but I think it was more of a warning than a threat. He knows Neil has an upper hand, his 'dont pull my leash' seems more like 'you can make me do anything with a single word and that scares me' Neil is different to him and I think he is so entranced and terrfied of that realization, hints the 'its not a this' because if it was he could lose it. He has been pulled and pushed and dragged around for so long, he refuses to let the one person who asks him to do the same. Neil doesnt need to manipulate Andrew because Andrew is so willing to do anything he asks.

2. The whole please conversation broke me. I had to take a moment to calm down because it hit so horribly close to home. Andrew has been used and assulted and belittled for simply being there. He so desperately wants affection, who doesnt, but the memories of someone doing things to him against his will is so haunting. Thats why the yes or no is so important to him every single time, nevermind the always, he will ask anyway, because no one ever asked him. His 'no' was vetoed and his 'please' ignored. Neil didn't even need to know this to stop cold in his tracks the moment Andrew said to. Neil knows Andrew doesn't like to be touched and the breif moments when its allowed are barely okay, so he doesn’t push it because he doesn't want to lose those moments. He is willing to stand with time and wilter waiting for when its okay again. Yes sometimes he has reached out or crossed a line but several more times he reminded himself, he doesn't like to be touched. 'His hand froze a hair away' 'he remembered last second' and so many more times he forced himself not to because he has no right. Andrew sees this, sees how he is so willing to actively not hurt him. Neil disgards the times Andrew has crossed a line, has hurt his friends or got so angry he saw red because he undrestand how desperately Andrew is searching for control, of anything, he's never had it before. He could have killed Allison for slapping Aaron. He so tightly holds onto the few things he has. He won't let someone hurt or break or take anything he has left. Which is why I believe he hesitates when Neil says he's not going anywhere, because he has fought tooth and nail for all he has, to keep Aaron who wants to leave, to hold himself together after all he has been through. Neil is willing to stay by his side and asked Andrew to stop fighting for him. The simple 'no' followed by 'thats why' is all Neil needed to understand, Andrew wants Neil because he is willing to put himself aside. Because his 'no' means so much to Neil, and he would never break it.

I came so close to tear with these books 😭

#aftg #all for the game #all for the gay #andrew minyard #neil josten #the foxhole court #the kings men #the raven king

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sporadicfrogs · 8 months ago

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god I fucking hate corporate buzzword bullshit

#“oh this new software tool will help foster a sense of ~belonging~#shut up shut up shut UP #that doesnt mean anything thats just words!!!#how the FUCK is a new system to enter data into gonna help make me feel like i BELONG #“we're all about fostering a community of belonging and welcome”#SHUT. UP.#let me do my job and go i dont want these fuzzy meaningless words gdamn #and stop making me go to workshops and conferences that are JUST ABOUT these good sounding words #give me a tangible plan. steps. actions to take. a definable goal.#gonna start chewing through my computer keyboard #how much money has this company spent hiring consultants and arranging conferences just to come up with the tagline ~belonging 😇~#im not cut out for this man #WHAT. DOES. IT. MEAN.

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 11 months ago

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okay listen i do think the scene is very adorable and i would not change it but i AM a pedant and a definite article is like by definition not a pronoun is it

#'pronoun' is becoming a word for like a gender thing rather than a grammar thing and #it makes for some kinda nonsensical sentences sometimes #i guess you can make a neopronoun that is 'the'#but like 'my chosen pronoun is the definite article. i am always The Meep' okay that doesnt say anything abt your pronouns tho?#and what they took that to mean is that the meep doesnt use pronouns only the meeps whole name #which is like. great. but thats not what the meep said really is it??#or when the doctor goes 'oh i do that'#like. very cute. very adorable. i love it. but also babe no you dont?#you just take whatever pronouns people give you?#you dont even insist on 'the' before doctor when people call you they skip the 'the' most of the time!#anyway. pedantry

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nomairuins · 2 months ago

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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And #make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not #saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was #going to say #like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so #bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the #winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000 #other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but #i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its #been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody #responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple #muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it #but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like #im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good #solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start #all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the #punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4 #im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but #even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think #avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is #like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they #hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be #the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO #difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15 #minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case #it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel #stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and #tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i #tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction #like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint

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majorshatterandhare · 1 year ago

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Today I, an aromantic, was getting ready to attend a wedding… with Stranger on repeat.

#the mechanisms #stranger #ttbt2 #i knew what i was doing when i put it on but also i am working on an addtion to my brian-jonny foils post so i was thinking about brian #its always sad brian hours #i cant really read that song separate from him anymore. honestly not sure i ever could but. its just so unconnected from anything else.-#actaea and lyssa is pretty disconnected. but its still almost certainly on the city. alice is pretty disconnected but its a result of-#king cole’s war. the most disconnected songs are redeath. the ignominious demise of dr pilchard. drop dead. hereward the wake. and stranger-#(and frankenstein but i consider that its own thing). and redeath and drop dead are my least favorite mechs songs.dr pilchard i didnt-#really care for for quite a while. stranger has so few words in it. it’s my favorite song. but the story is minimal fron the song (ie w/o-#knowing the crane wife story) so making a story around it sort of makes sense? im having a hard time with the words here. like we expect a-#story. cause that’s what the mechs do. and stranger has a story. it just doesnt have context and so creatong that context for ourselves is-#understandable. to be expected even. hope that makes sense #side note: i think it would make sense for hereward to have been from the same place (system I guess) as the people that made-#fort galfridian. i mean hereward was more of a real person than arthur (since there was no one person arthur was based on. like thats a-#whole thing) and hereward was anglo-dutch. so it makes sense hed be related to that story somehow #its just a theory. obviously. theres nothing in the songs connecting the too as far as im aware.#OH also achilles pointed out to me the anti-amatonormative/aromantic reading of stranger and i liked that a lot #hereward was anglo-danish. not anglo-dutch. sorry danish and dutch people

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holysheithyall · 4 months ago

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im a ness&greg found family truther in a way most people would not understand

#/hj post not an insult or anything just an observation #i dont think shes a sister figure or a mother figure #but thats just me i guess #i usually just dont like it when people see found family and immediately assign each character ”roles”#like found family doesnt mean that ones the mom that ones the dad that ones the cousin or wtv #idk its just me tho #i like ness&greg as a mix i guess mother son doesnt fit neither does sister brother i cant put into words #this came from me thinking about gregs mom actually <- im normal

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mourniepoo · 5 months ago

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sobs why are ppl so adamant that theyre "making [their] own manga/anime". Babe no1 is trying to gatekeep it ur just american Those Are Just The Japanese Words For Comic And Animation. "But its in the anime style!!!" Yeah so are a lot of western cartoons "But it's a black and white comic!!" yeah so are the comics I see in the newspaper. Why do u want it to be a japanese thing so bad im gonna kms

#srry this is abt this one guy on tt who I swearrr i have blocked like six times already #yk how in mexican resturaunts we call melted cheese dip “queso” even tho queso just means cheese #like it doesnt mean Melted cheese or anything thats just specification we (america) came up with #I feel like thats a similar thing with animanga #likw theres plenty of manga that isnt in black and white and has a super western/non-traditional style. We just say all manga has that style #and is in black and white. And theres tons of anime with cartoon styles (Scott pilgrim takes off or mp100 come to mind) we just say that it #all has that style #and so ppl just assume that it means any animation with that style is automatically anime/manga #when rlly its just. the words for animation and comics #ugh. idk this is stupid #AND I DONT THINK ITS UNREASONABLE TO SAY SMTH IS AN “ANIME STYLE” OR W/E #even tho theres tons of stuff thats Not like that visually #it is a very defined and recognizable Style #I just think its weird to say that the project itself is an animanga

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awerzo · 1 year ago

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As much as I enjoy seeing TMA fanart where Jon wears neat, dark academia style clothing Im just, incapable of including that in my headcanons.

Like, to me that man just screams 'wears almost exclusively tshirt+jeans, MAYBE a plaid shirt if he's feeling fancy on casual days' and 'office clothing that makes him looks like the most boring man alive'. Nothing in his personality ever gave me the vibe that he would spent more than 0.05 sec putting his outfit together. He's just a rat man who probably wears the same suit every other week, probably irons it once in a blue moon. The worst combo of looking both boring and unprofessional. You look at him once and you understand why nobody wants to talk to him.

#the void talks #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #i want to say that i dont mean that jon being dressed well in fanart is bad or anything #it just doesnt fit my personal character interpretation #in other words #THATS MY OPINIOOOOOON

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago

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Recent game related things .. hrmm...

#I do like the inconsistency of the first map. that is actually something older but that I re-found and added to my Game Reference stuff #so that when characters reference where they're from I can be accurate. I like that the whole map is kind of shifted up that way. Where the #actual south part doesnt even count as the south since its Too Far and Scary lol. and if you say you're from 'the north' thats basically #like.. one single continent. Though some people do make distinctions like 'north midlands' or etc. still. I like the ways that common #language isn't always precisely accurate like that. and thinking about why a culture would classify things a certain way or etc. etc.#The inventory page is so funny to me because it's literally just the BASe like.. sample layout just to make sure it works properly with 0 #actual design into it. just colored rectangles thrown together in MS paint. but what if I like... left it like that.. what if all the other #art in the game and UI is like stylized and fully matching BUT the inventory/journal/etc. screens I just left as plain colored blocks #with random misalignments and black spots and etc gjhbhjj... It looks unfinished in a Funny Contrast way to me.#the wordcounts are just like... my past few days of writing.. I am still not getting 2200 words a day done or whatever I needed. I'm lucky #if it's even half of that .... tee hee.. :3c I do also keep having appointments and other things going on but..grrr...#The full map of the area is probably not necessary but I thought it would be more realisitc if people were able to reference things. Like i #you have people all living in a city area probably at some point someone might mention a neighboring city or some landmark nearby #or etc. so I thought having at least the basic names of what's around for reference would be sensible. A side character mentioning #'oh yeah I don't live here full time I just travel from Marisene sometimes' or whatever makes it seem more like a Real #Fleshed Out Place than people just making vague references like 'the river' or 'i come from a city nearby' or 'i went to a place somewhere #around here' or 'the other city' or etc. lol.. Especially since global cities/global areas are weird as they operate almost like an #independent country within their walls. so it's like a micro country inside of another country usually. just plopped down in some agreed #upon plot of land that won't be too disruptive to the main country around it. That could get very complex depending on the cultural and #political backdrop of where they're placed (though obviously they try to choose the 'easiest' areas possible for it). Asen is a very mild #country without much history of conflict or anything so it's fine. But still interesting that Sifeh and the entire branched out global area #border three other districts of Asen. Which means like 3 times the local representitives you'l have to negotiate with for some major change #or anything. I think one of the 'random characters you can find around the world and have short discussions with just to make the area #feel more populated and real even though theyre not actual important npcs' is going to be a guy who actually serves on the council that #handles running the global areas and he's like.. some perpetually exhausted middle aged elf running around with a clipboard or whatever #ANYWAY...... hrgh... still trying to write when I can....#I WISH so badly that I had the scope for a simple character creation menu and all character interactions would allot for the background #of your player character. And also to have a simple day night cycle where places in the world you explore/people you talk to during the day #have new options or dialogue at night.. BUT alas... I already am so behind on everything as is lol.. aughhh... T o T #As the worlds number one Needless Detail And Complexity Enjoyer i must dilligently prevent myself from adding additional complexity

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bucephaly · 3 days ago

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I keep seeing posts of people saying that a term transphobes stole and are using incorrectly to be transphobes is a Horrible Transphobic Term and Anyone who uses it is transphobic and it's Not Real and Entirely Not True when it's literally an actual anthropological term that has studies about it and is actually very useful for Everyone to think about, cis and trans, and be critical of. I hate seeing people respond to dumb hate by entirely writing off everything even remotely connected to the twisted shit bigots use when the shit the bigots are stealing and twisting is still like... a thing?

#how are assigned genders a thing but 'i was raised as a girl and im trans' isnt ?#like thats what socialization is. i was raised as my assigned gender #its not something that i Am. im not Female Socialized. i was [past tense] raised as a girl #and so raised with certain biases that i cant even put into words cuz they are subtle. but still are something i am learning to be watchful #of and shit?#but guess what? i have spent more of my conscious life being socialized as a man since i came out at 14.#socialization is literally just the way others treat you based on perceived social categories like gender #and obviously not everyone was socialized the same ?? its not smth that applies to everyone at all ??#so if it doesnt apply to you then just... dont use it!#but it can be useful for some people sometimes #and its useful for cis people too!!#a cis woman can remind herself that she was raised encouraged to take up less space and so move to counteract that #like fuck idk. i see posts like 'im on the train and a family is across from me #and the little boys are playing and shit but the little girl is being told 'you cant sit like that because youre wearing a skirt'#so she isnt able to play as roudy as her brothers because shes wearing a skirt and certain 'manners' comes with that“#like. THATS socialization its just a bunch of little stuff like that #a cis man can remind himself that he is allowed to express emotions and be vulnerable even after being raised being told that #'boys dont cry' etc like. idk its a very subtle thing and its just messy and cultural and social #and not easy to describe or study #but there are studies of adult participants asked to play with toddlers #in a room of toys. and they encourage toddlers in dresses to play with dolls and toddlers in overalls to play with trucks #and were told afterwards that the toddlers names and clothing was 'switched'#so these adults who thought they were so open minded realized how biased they still were etc etc etc #its super super subtle shit #'i was bullied for being queer' does not mean you were never socialized ? like. that in itself is socialization #and socialization is a term useful for more than just gender and shit id say. like i was sorta raised in a certain culture #and thats the socialization im accustomed to. and so now as i reconnect to a different culture and enter these social spaces #im.learning a different way to present and go about things #idk idk idk i definitely do not agree with calling a random trans person socialized as their assigned gender or anything #i dont make assumptions about the way others have been raised but like. stop letting bigots poison actual real terms please.

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todayisafridaynight · 2 months ago

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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

#snap chats #SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3 #ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i #moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since #BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point #if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of #'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like #like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling #the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly #which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word #like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation #so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor #i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj #yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested #like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out #i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH #but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god #i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was #tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch #and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ #coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror #i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant #if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review #OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do #so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl #god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj #anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading

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ghastbutlikegay · 2 months ago

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dudes ive hit a point with The Horrors:tm: where im unable to convince myself that any of my friends actually like me

#vent #it's like. i think im a pretty solid guy #my negative traits dont define my view of myself etc #i understand that if someone doesnt ike me it doesnt mean im horible etc #but like. i am unable to believe that anyone wants to be around me #even if someone explicitly says they want to talk to me/want to hang out/enjoy my presence #im like hmm. well. sounds fake.#and again it's not like i think im an unlovable piece of shit or something #i just dont think anyone is being honest with me #like i rarely notice hints or subtext or passive aggression when people talk to me #but im simultaneously excessively sensitive and will be like 'wait do they hate me now' if someone sends like an all lowercase one word tex #because it's like. oh no what if they actually ARE hinting that they dont like me. etc #most of the time when i get 'god shut the fuck up' vibes theres not actually anything wrong #BUT because theres been so many times that i MISSED the 'god shut the fuck up' vibes #i automatically assume everyone is mad at me/doesnt like me/doesnt want t talk.#even trying to say 'usually im wrong about people being mad' is extremely difficult #bc im like. fully convinced ive been right every time #and that everyone has just been lying t me #this has been a thing since like. age 14+ for me #but lately it's gotten worse #and like im scared to even dm a friend a meme because they might be mad (they literally sent me a song rec earlier. i have no reason to #assume theyre mad. except when i got the messages i was like 'oh no what if this has a hidden meaning')#it's one of those things where like. my anxiety medication works really well #but this is the flavor of anxiety thats inspired by past experiences #s even if i try to tell myself there arent any signs that theyre mad/annoyed/whatever #i immediately think 'but ive been wrong before.'#and then that same loop stops me from asking. because asking either annoys people or they lie to me about it #idk idk idk im tired #even if i did ask i wouldnt believe any answer other than 'yes im mad/annoyed/whatever'#including if they add 'i just need to be alone right now' or 'yes but not at you' or 'yes and i need to cool off'

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prestonmonterey · 8 months ago

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i hope my friends never get the feeling that they need to have something important to say to be able to talk to me

#marble musings #its just like #an awful feeling #had someone i knew who kinda just like ignored my attempts to make conversation bc im like. not good at talking to people #and i was really sad bc i just wanted to like. enjoy her company #and ive been told by a couple people that they thought i was kinda intimidating???#which is so funny to me bc im like SO scared to talk to people #anyway yeah you dont have to like #say something important or anything #if you dont want to #i mean im like actual shit at small talk but ill still try my best if you just say like 'hi' and wanna start a conversation #(ugh unless youre the kind of person who shuts down small talk questions i cannot deal with that.#there was someone i talked to who i was like asking questions to bc i wanted to like keep the conversation going bc i like. think thats wha #they wanted #but id say like 'hows school' or 'whats a fun fact about yourself' and theyd just give like one word answers which is alright but if you #wanna hold a proper conversation that doesnt really work #and when they answered the questions they didnt throw it back to me like 'how bout you' or something #theyd just. sit there #and i was like #damn ok should i like ask another question?#but i felt like they were trying to hint to me that they didnt wanna talk so i stopped talking #and they were fucking like 'awkwarrrd'#like DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK OR NOT)#ok sorry that was a really long tangent #i prommy im always happy to talk unless youre like a super rare exception (like 2 people ever)#in which case i will try to make it clear im not in the mood to talk or youre like making me uncomfortable or something #ok thats it #have a nice day #:)

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horrorwebs · 1 year ago

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why are men literally the fucking worst

#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group #and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt #and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you #he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive.#her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like #butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there #talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying #ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL #AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things #he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like?#if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her #get away from her really #sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad +#that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no.#even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross #so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker #about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being #like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc .#dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough #also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction #is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope #up.#so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad #and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see #spikeposting #personal

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marsixm · 4 months ago

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i feel like i bring this up all the time but it keeps being a problem but like does anyone else have the experience where u try to play games w friends irl, like dnd and mtg specifically, but everyone else uses jargon for literally every single aspect of the game, and everyone else has specific strategies and moves memorized, so no matter how much experience you have you always end up looking like the only one in the room that’s a complete noob even when u literally arent? its exhausting lol

#inb4 i love my friends theyre not beint mean to me or anything #they just assume i dont know shot #and usually when i ask about some specific term i get a massive explanation about how it relates to everything #when all i needed to know was a specific term #it’d be like if u were hanging out w people speaking spanglish #and if u asked what basura (trash) meant and got an explanation on the concept of a trash can #like i know what that is i just dont know that word #the only way i can combat this is to learn all the terms myself but even then theres so many strategies to memorize and thats so hard #also the other issue i have #is i cant read and parse what the cards are saying while people are talking to me #so multiple times id be trying to read the card to decide what i wanted to do #and theyd be verbally explaining the card and what to do to me #and im like. pls just let me read it and decide. and i cant intake any of this info verbally #it just doesnt click #anyway pls if anyone else experiences this pls let me know. i feel so alone in this all the time

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mxboxlocks · 1 year ago

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ahh my stickers aren't selling at all and it's really disheartening bc i really really thought they would do well. im not sure if i wanna print the other designs now

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