#that certainly is yue jin

[rarepears]

Au where Shen Jiu Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan transmigrate/reincarnate as Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian respectively?

That's murder in a bottle.

I don't just mean Shen Jiu murdering Yue Qi btw. Yue Qi would let Shen Jiu get away with murder and you KNOW Shen Jiu will murder Jin Guangshan like yesterday. So the whole canon is fucked the moment that Shen Jiu was forced to spend 5 mins with the perv and realized that he was going to have to regularly deal with this manipulative leech (aka at those regular conferences and more).

Now I can't say that Shen Jiu would be friends with the Wen clan but he can manage and understand them better than other sects. It's a sect full of either pompous spoiled rich brats (like his Qing Jing peak disciples) or talented street rats who clawed their way up from the streets into something powerful enough to get Wen Sect's attention and recruitment.

As for that whole "Yue Qi loves another woman" rumor, it actually stems from Wei Changze looking a lot like Shen Jiu's previous self, so Yue Qi kept Wei Changze close at hand until he met Yu Ziyuan (Shen Jiu). How can he say no to a mini Shen Jiu being around him now?

Shen Jiu is very much displeased with that because Wei Wuxian certainly doesn't act anything like him.

[cum-villain]

I've been musing the ways that MXTX's novels handle systemic power and systems of oppression, and how it's possibly related to her own experiences.

(This ended up very long, so I'm putting it under a cut)

In her debut novel, Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (SVSSS), systemic powers aren't exactly a major motivator. As in, while systemic oppression certainly exists, it mostly serves as motivations for characters and part of their backstory. Who the characters are is, primarily, the choices they make. Even truly impenetrable systems (or Systems) allow leeway. There's an emphasis on people choosing to be who they are, choosing to help or hurt others. Regardless of who you are or where you come from, you always can choose to better yourself, or remain stuck where you are.

And, it's a nice theme, right? In part, yes. But in certain ways, it can be a touch naive. I think the character Shen Jiu is the best way to describe what I mean. Shen Jiu, as readers of SVSSS know, was a slave sold by child traffickers to an abusive master, who eventually killed his way out and to Cang Qiong Mountain. After reuniting with a childhood friend, Yue Qingyuan, who had become heir to the sect leader, he managed to get a position as heir to the second-ranking Peak Lord, and eventually was lord of Qing Jing Peak himself. However, he never recovered from his childhood, and was a highly abrasive character, and when he was a Peak Lord himself, he abused his disciples, even attempting to murder at least one (Luo Binghe) multiple times out of jealousy.

In certain ways, he made his own choices. He had the power to make a new life for himself, and yet he still chose to continue the cycle of abuse and hurt multiple children. It's undeniable he was a scummy person for this. However, one can also make the case that he wasn't entirely at fault. After all, when he murdered his way out of Qiu Manor, wasn't it because, as a slave, he had no other way to flee? For the events that followed, while he made his own choices, can he really be blamed for not being kind when he had very little kindness shown to him? Wasn't he pitiful? Certainly, it's something of a stretch to deny his fault in the abuse he perpetuated, but the fact that it's still a debate a decade after the book's release raises an interesting question: Is the way SVSSS handles systemic problems naive?

I would say, it is. Obviously, we all make our own choices in life, but what if the systems in place force us into situations where there are no good choices? What can we do when the world itself gives us no choice but to be evil or die?

In between the writing of SVSSS, and her second book, Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation), multiple things occurred. For one, MXTX was only in high school when she wrote her first book, and she grew up. Additionally, danmei is a genre that commonly faces censorship. It's not unheard of for authors to be arrested for writing in the genre. And SVSSS is, famously, her least popular novel. The manhua only had a few chapters before it went on a permanent hiatus, the donghua only had one season before never being seen again, there was no live action or audio drama. To write in the genre is to face a system of persecution that cannot be penetrated.

And so, MDZS has a different tone when discussing systemic oppression. In fact, to contrast her first novel, it's a major theme. All of the characters are affected by systems of oppression, especially the class system. In MDZS, these systems causes much strife, and are never truly eliminated. The characters who oppose the system the most either leave larger society, or die. For this I'll bring up three characters, primarily: Xue Yang, Jin Guangyao, and Wei Wuxian.

Xue Yang, to start, is an orphan. He's a side character who doesn't get much screentime, but his existence offers a lot of insight into the larger systems of power, and how they affect people. He's largely a villain, a heartless murderer who takes joy in great acts of cruelty. However, it's not as though he has no reason for being like this; one of his childhood memories is of being tricked by a cruel adult, thinking he'll get candy as a reward, but in the end getting nothing but broken fingers as a reward, a child getting his hand run over by a cart. After learning demonic cultivation, of which he was a prodigy, he massacred the man who tricked him, who turned out to be a sect leader. Afterwards, he killed this man's entire clan.

Eventually, he was caught, and put to trial, but due to being seen as valuable by the Chief Cultivator at the time, he was held prisoner for life instead of the death sentence he was due. Due to reasons not particularly important to this essay, he later was cast out, injured, and was eventually taken in by a particular cultivator who had originally tried to prove his guilt, and who (for reasons indirectly but majorly related to Xue Yang) ended up blind: Xiao Xingchen. Because Xiao Xingchen did not recognize him, he treated Xue Yang with kindness. At first, Xue Yang used this to trick Xiao Xingchen into killing people, but at a certain point, stopped. It would seem that Xiao Xingchen's kindness affected him. However, when Xiao Xingchen's former partner, Song Lan, found them, Xue Yang tricked Xiao Xingchen into killing him. After realizing the truth of the situation, Xiao Xingchen killed himself, and Xue Yang started desperately trying to find a way to resurrect him.

There's a reason I took the time (and wordcount) to explain the situation in detail. In the story, we see a man who, like Shen Jiu in SVSSS, can be described with the meme, "cool motive, still murder." His past is sympathetic, but no excuse for his atrocities. However, after being shown kindness, he changes a bit. He stops killing people. But when there's a threat to that kindness, when he could lose what security and safety he has, he regresses back to his old behaviour, although he regrets it immediately. It's not as though he's innately evil, but that his history has taught him that being evil is the only way to survive, and he learned to enjoy his method of survival. The systems in place shaped a child who loved candy into a killer.

However, those at the bottom don't always end up so drastically terrible. Jin Guangyao also is of the dregs of society, the son of a prostitute, but he's something of a gentleman. After all, his mother wanted him to be a gentleman in terms of his character, and her final wish was for him to also be a gentleman in terms of his status, to be accepted by his father, sect leader of the Jin clan. But doing so requires terrible actions, as his status as a prostitute's son is very low. From being forced to shelter a known killer (Xue Yang) on his father's orders and against his sworn brother's wishes; to killing that sworn brother with the dual reasons of that sworn brother attempting to murder him multiple times (albeit under influence of a sort of curse), and because his father ordered him to kill the man; to being forced to choose between marrying his sister and losing everything, including possibly his life. In the end, he ends up killing his father after Jin Guangshan disrespects his mother one last time.

Despite this, however, one can argue that he is a gentleman. While cultivators in this setting hunt monsters for glory rather than to aid common people, he institutes a watchtower system that helps alleviate their plight. While there's no way to end his marriage, he both treats his wife (sister) kindly, while never having intimate conduct after he discovers the truth. After he takes power, he kicks out the murderer his father wanted to shelter. While he killed his oldest sworn brother, that was a person who would have kill him if he didn't act first, and he still treats that sworn brother's biological younger brother kindly, one may say spoiling him. In short, when he does not need to commit evil acts to survive, he usually acts virtuously, with the exception always involving honoring his mother.

However, in the end, he dies. Yet, not for something he did; he explicitly dies out of a false accusation of trying to kill someone he cared about, and dies an unjust death out of vengeance for killing his sworn brother. And when the jianghu learns of his evil, they're willing to accept that and more, because wasn't he always just an upstart, a son of a whore? Wasn't he born rotten, lower? Despite his best attempts, Jin Guangyao could never truly escape the shackles of the class system.

To end this (admittedly rather long) section, I'll discuss Wei Wuxian. Like Xue Yang, he's an orphan, but he was taken in by the leader of the Jiang Clan, who was a friend of his parents. Like Jin Guangyao, he was the son of someone lower class, in his case a servant, but he is treated kindly by his benefactor. His position is precarious, not quite a foster child and not quite a ward, but he still grows up among the gentry, accepted by sons of the gentry as one of them. However, even he is not immune from the systems in place. When the Wen clan, once the greatest clan, is deposed for being tyrannical, the members of the clan are unfairly persecuted for their leader's sins. When Wei Wuxian tries to go against the current and save them, he fails to go against all of the world on his own, and dies for his trouble, and all but one of the Wen clan are massacred.

When he is brought back to life, after getting involved again, he decides to leave, not get involved in fighting the cultivation world head on anymore, instead focusing on small change. The new generation can be taught to be kinder than their predecessors, and they are. The change is slow, but despite the grim tone of the book, it ends with hope that change will happen, the world will become kinder, just not fast enough that many of the cast will see it.

With all of this context, one can determine the following about systems in MDZS: They are undefeatable. Maybe, slowly, they can be changed, but a person cannot go against them without paying the ultimate price. Change is possible, but it is slow, and in the meantime, people will be hurt by the system in place. Systemic persecution is a large part of many people's lives, and this is an inevitable fact. A far less hopeless tone than SVSSS's, but more realistic. The change is from naive optimism to a more mature realism.

Now, it is difficult to overstate the effect of MDZS on the world. This book was adapted into the cdrama, "The Untamed", which was a worldwide success. Chinese historical dramas were once a niche genre, but now are one of the most popular genres worldwide. This drama led many people around the world to have an appreciation for Chinese stories, and led a global audience to discover the book it was based on, leading to more books in the danmei genre finding an international audience, which led to the current danmei boom. It's very likely that MDZS is the most popular danmei novel to have ever been written. The novel has been adapted into the live action drama mentioned before, as well as a manhua, a donghua, an audio drama. I've also heard of a Japanese manga adaptation currently being done.

Of course, this attention led to the Chinese government now having more of an eye on MXTX's actions. At this point, while she's more popular than ever, she's also under heavy scrutiny. But, look at what happened: Danmei is a genre that has led authors to being persecuted, but now here she is, influencing people with her works at such a large, international scale. Certainly something, isn't it?

Now I'll turn to her third book, Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF), or Heaven Official's Blessing. Thankfully, I don't have to give as much context for this one as MDZS. While large systems are in place that influence people's lives, they aren't unbeatable. The final battle of the book is even a large-scale revolution against the current power structure. While the system is powerful, and causes much harm to people, it is still ultimately a system created by people, and it can be deposed by people. The system pushes people to do evil deeds, but with people working together, being kind to each other and helping each other, that system can be stopped. In short, if SVSSS is naive optimism about systems of power not stopping people from being their true selves, and MDZS is pessimistic realism about systems being unbreakable and barely bendable, TGCF is grounded optimism. Systems of power are very real, and very harmful to many people, but they aren't an all-powerful force, they can be fought against. One person can't do everything, just like Xie Lian could not save his people from a plague and civil war by himself, but if many people work together, like the heavenly officials rising up against Jun Wu, something can be done.

Now, MXTX is quite possibly the most popular danmei author on an international scale. The danmei boom is probably at its peak, I can't really see it growing much more. She's largely gone silent, with rumors of her possibly being arrested at one point. While TGCF is also very popular, due to censorship constraints, it was forced to be less explicit than her other works. With everything that's happened, I'm interested to know what her fourth book will say about systems of power.

[burst-of-iridescent]

Hi! First I want to say I love your Zutara dissertation. I was in a convo with a friend who said they don’t like Zutara because it hurts Zuko’s arc. I then linked them to part two of your dissertation where you explain how Zuko and Katara getting together would strengthen their arcs and the themes of the show. They then replied, “I see all these points. I just think this can be done via friendship. I think the idea that Zuko heals the world via friendships fits the show more since friendship played a bigger role then love stories.” Do you have any rebuttal argument for this that I can show them?

please give my commiserations to your friend for the frustration they must have felt when avatar: the last airbender ended with a grand romantic kiss because naturally, the all-important question of the finale was whether the hero finally got the girl after spending three seasons suffering in the friendzone. i'm sure your friend, being such a proponent of the importance of friendship over romance, must be just as critical of kat.aang in the finale as they are of a potential zutara relationship (and if they aren't, then you know where this argument is coming from and it's certainly not a place of legitimate media analysis.)

but on the off-chance that we're dealing with that rare breed of zutara anti that isn't a raging hypocrite: i fail to see why there's this weird dichotomy being made between platonic and romantic love at all. what exactly is wrong with zuko healing the world with both friendship AND romance? his platonic bonds with sokka, toph, aang and suki don't suddenly cease to exist just because he's dating katara, so why are we acting as if it's only one or the other?

atla is a story about the power of friendship, yes, but more than that it's a story about the the power of love. love for your family, blood and chosen. love for your friends. love for your countrymen. love for strangers, for enemies, for humanity. at its core, atla is centred around love in all of its varied forms - and yes, that includes romantic love.

or are we saying that sokka's love for yue, katara's romance with jet, sokka's relationship with suki, zuko's feelings for jin all had absolutely no bearing on their individual character arcs and the overall plot of the show? even kat.aang and mai.ko, badly written as they are, were important to aang and zuko's arcs in helping them realize the people they were truly meant to be (at least, before the finale fucked it up).

i, and many other zutara shippers, have always said that we'd have been fine with atla ending with no canonical romances, or with only a hint of zutara. i wouldn't replace the kat.aang kiss in the finale with a zutara one, even if it made more narrative sense, because i agree that romantic love was definitely not the point of atla - but that doesn't mean that it had no significant role to play at all.

given that your friend seems fine with zuko and katara's friendship, i'd love to hear why said friendship turning into a romance would suddenly be detrimental to zuko's arc. was sokka's arc about unlearning his misogyny ruined because he eventually entered a relationship with suki? was suki being inspired by sokka to take a more active role in the war undercut because she became his girlfriend? if not, then why would the zutara dynamic be the only one negatively affected just because they can kiss now?

zuko is a character who is fundamentally defined by love. his love for his people kickstarts his entire character arc. his love for his mother, and her love for him, is integral in reminding him to stay true to who he is. iroh's fatherly love guides him to the path of redemption. the gaang's platonic love, and the love he holds for them in return, gives him the confidence and support he needs to fulfill his destiny. so romantic love, the right kind of romantic love (and notably the only kind zuko never truly receives in the show) would only add to zuko's character - not take away from it.

[wangxianficrecs]

❤️ This Time Around by KouriArashi

❤️ This Time Around

by KouriArashi

T, 83k, JGY & NHS & WWX

Summary: Years after Nie Mingjue’s death, Nie Huaisang goes back in time to prevent it from happening by killing Meng Yao before he can become a monster. Nothing goes as planned. Nie Huaisang gave a heavy sigh. None of it excused the things Jin Guangyao had done. None of it would make him forgive his brother’s death. But did it have to be that way? This was a child. A child who was crying in the night, on the cold stone he had as a bed, because someone he looked up to had hurt him. How could he blame him for what he had become? How could he say that this boy deserved death? Who was he to make that judgment? Could he save both his brothers? Or: Nie Huaisang accidentally adopts a bunch of chaos gremlins.

Mojo's comments: I am such a sucker for a pied piper of hard-luck orphans. In this case, it's Nie Huaisang, who is such a funny caretaker, he kind of reminds me of the Dread Pirate Roberts, ya know -- 'Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.' -- except in a less explicit and more paternal way. Heh. So, his moral compass is very gray, but his actions show a heart of gold, and the kids are very clear on which one speaks the loudest. The first one he picks up is Meng Yao, around the age of 7, then Wei Ying, then Xue Yang (who is a bitey, hilarious, feral cat) and lastly, Mo Yue (not yet, and never Xuanyu, since nhs stole his name back in the beginning of this adventure). So in one way, this story is the Chinese xianxia's answer to Louisa May Alcott's Little Men, except with a time travelling single dad. So nhs wanders around the edges of the cultivators' world, claiming to be a disciple of Baoshan Sanren, hanging out with different sects to get his boys some training (and maybe learn some secrets) and periodically, maybe, slaying a sect leader on the down low. It's magnificent.

Excerpt: Nie Huaisang took a deep breath and thought about screaming, or crying, or throwing both of these brats in a river. “My brother was a good man. He was just and righteous. And he was murdered by someone he thought was a friend because he stood in the way of that person gaining power. My friend who made the talismans lost everyone he loved and threw himself off a cliff because he tried to stand up to the people in power and they destroyed him. I will not - I will not - watch that happen to anyone else I care about. Do you understand?” “I understand,” Meng Yao said, and leaned against him. Ridiculous, Nie Huaisang thought, and wanted to scream even louder. His brother’s murderer trying to comfort him. Jin Guangyao hadn’t killed Wei Wuxian, and hadn’t even been wholly responsible for his death, but he had certainly played a key part in it. Now this child had the audacity to try to console him, as if he was an entirely different person. Because he was.

time travel, fix it, pov nie huaisang, kid fic, accidental baby acquisition, parent-child relationship, introspection, character study, domestic, grief/mourning, found family, growing up, pov wei wuxian, pov alternating, cloud recesses study arc, happy ending, everybody lives/nobody dies, angst, politics, past child abuse, moral ambiguity, @gingersnapwolves

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[craftercat]

WS29.2.1, Biography of Shusun Jun

(His clan name was actually Yizhan. The Yizhan clan changed their clan name to Shusun during the Sinicisation reforms of Emperor Xiaowen. Also, providing some context and explanation for the Northern Wei practice of encouraging the suicides of officials' widows which started with him)

Biography

[Yizhan Jian]'s eldest son was Jun, courtesy name Chougui, [he was] intelligent at a young age. At the age of fifteen, attended the imperial palace as a retainer. Had a cautious and calm character, and did not exceed his capabilities. In order to be a horse mount archer, was transferred as a hunting official [1].

長子俊，字醜歸，少聰敏。年十五，內侍左右。性謹密，初無過行。以便弓馬，轉為獵郎.

Emperor Taizu [posthumous name Emperor Daowu, personal name Tuoba Gui] died, the Prince of Qinghe, Shao, shut the palace gates [2], and Taizong [posthumous name Emperor Mingyuan, personal name Tuoba Si] was outside [3]. Shao forced Jun to act to assist him. Although Jun on the outside submitted to Shao, on the inside he had true loyalty, therefore with Yuan [4] Mohan and others criticised Shao, pledging allegiance to Taizong. This affair is in the biography of Mohan.

太祖崩，清河王紹閉宮門，太宗在外。紹逼俊以為己援。俊外雖從紹，內實忠款，仍與元磨渾等說紹，得歸太宗。事在磨渾傳。

At this time of Taizong's retainers, only Che [5] Lutou, Wang Luo'er and others, were able to reach Jun and others' [assistance], [Taizong] was very pleased [with him], [Jun] acted as an attendant.

是時太宗左右，唯車路頭、王洛兒等，及得俊等，大悅，以為爪牙。

When Taizong succeeded to the throne, ordered that Jun, Mohan and others correct the errors of the retainers. Was transferred as a guard general and bestowed as Duke of Ancheng.

太宗即位，命俊與磨渾等拾遺左右。遷衞將軍，賜爵安城公。

The Prince of Zhuti, Yue, carried a knife in his bosom and entered within the imperial residence, to goad a major rebellion. Jun realised Yue's actions were unusual, and easily held his hand and pulled it back, thus within Yue's bosom there were two daggers, [Yue] was thereupon executed.

太宗即位，命俊與磨渾等拾遺左右。遷衞將軍，賜爵安城公。朱提王悅懷刃入禁中，將為大逆。俊覺悅舉動有異，便引手掣之，乃於悅懷中得兩刃匕首，遂殺之。

Taizong grasped Jun's significant merits from beginning to end, the policies of military affairs and civil administration were all according to his appointment, many officials starting their posts were earlier by Jun selected and inspected, and after that were presented and confirmed.

太宗以俊前後功重，軍國大計一以委之，群官上事，先由俊銓校，然後奏聞。

[Jun] had a just, fair and gentle character, and his form was not likely to be easily angered. [He was] loyal, devoted and genuine, and did not flatter his superiors or repress his subordinates. Every time he received an imperial edict and announced it to the outside, he would certainly announce [it] politely, the receivers would all be fulfilled and retreat, and those with confidential matters would turn away and arrive at the torch [6] again. Therefore his superiors and subordinates admired and praised him.

性平正柔和，未嘗有喜怒之色。忠篤愛厚，不諂上抑下。每奉詔宣外，必告示殷勤，受事者皆飽之而退，事密者倍至蒸仍。是以上下嘉歎。

Died in the first year of Taichang [416 CE], was twenty-eight [7] at the time, Taizong was excessively anguished and mournful, went in person and was deeply aggrieved. In all levels of society, there was no lacking in their pursuit of pity. Bestowed as Palace Attendant, Minister of Land and Water and Prince of Ancheng [8], with the posthumous name of Filial and Fundamental [xiaoyuan].

泰常元年卒，時年二十八，太宗甚痛悼之，親臨哀慟。朝野無不追惜。贈侍中、司空、安城王，諡孝元。

Was bestowed warm and bright rare utensils, carried using a sleeping carriage, guarded by soldiers leading their followers, and was buried [with other important people, including the imperial family] in the Jin Mausoleum. His son Pu inherited his rank. After [this], when esteemed ministers with great merit and special favour died, the rites with which they were paid their last respects were all according to the tradition of Jun's [9], but did not surpass that.

子蒲，襲爵。後有大功及寵幸貴臣薨，賻送終禮，皆依俊故事，無得踰之者.

[As a part of this], when Jun died, Taizong advised his wife Lady Huan [10] and said:

"When people in life share glory, in death it is appropriate to share a tomb. The capacity for [you] to be buried with the dead may be an undertaking of [your] desire." [11]

Lady Huan thus hanged herself and died, and was thereupon jointly interred there.

初，俊既卒，太宗命其妻桓氏曰：「夫生既共榮，沒宜同穴，能殉葬者可任意。」桓氏乃縊而死，遂合葬焉。

Northern Wei emperors and princes would often go on hunts with their attendants. I presume that Yizhan Jun would attend the emperor or a prince's hunting trip.

2. Tuoba Shao had assassinated Tuoba Gui.

3. Tuoba Si had earlier fled the capital of Pingcheng to avoid his father's wrath.

4. Should be Tuoba Mohan, as the imperial clan name of Tuoba was changed to Yuan by Emperor Xiaowen.

5. Should be Chekun Lutou, as the Chekun clan shortened their clan name under the reforms of Emperor Xiaowen.

6. I presume that 蒸 refers to a type of torch in this context. Torches would be lit as a signal during this time.

7. By East Asian age reckoning, in which a person is considered 1 year old at birth and becomes a year older at New Year, regardless of individual birthday. By Western age reckoning, he would be 26 or 27 years old.

8. He received the title of Duke of Ancheng in his lifetime; he was posthumously promoted to the rank of prince.

9. This likely refers to the death of the wives of these officials, which is outlined in the section below this statement.

10. Should be Lady Wuwan, as the Wuwan clan changed their clan name to Huan under the reforms of Emperor Xiaowen.

11. The Zizhi Tongjian phrases this differently, stating: "In life you shared honour with him [Yizhan Jun], will you share his sadness in death?" The History of the Northern Dynasties records an identical phrase to the Book of Wei, so Sima Guang likely paraphrased the earlier phrase in his record. The outcome was the same.

The Northern Wei practice

The death of Yizhan Jun started a practice in which the wives of powerful and favoured officials would be encouraged into committing suicide upon the official's death. This was first hinted using the euphemism "buried according to the rites of Shusun Jun".

(Technically, Tuoba Si had earlier poisoned Wang Luo'er's wife, but this was an irregular case. All other women to die to this practice were encouraged to commit suicide, yet she was poisoned, and the Weishu dates this practice to Shusun Jun, not Wang Luo'er. Wang Luo'er's wife may have been poisoned for a different reason)

This practice started with Tuoba Si and Yizhan Jun, but it continued into his son Tuoba Tao's reign. Tuoba Tao later buried his official Lu (Tufulu) Luyuan with the rites of Yizhan Jun, indicating this practice. Tufulu Luyuan's rites were even greater, so from then on, this practice was euphemised as "buried according to the rites of Lu Luyuan", which should indicate this practice, as Lu Luyuan was buried with this practice.

I think that although Tuoba Si claimed burial etiquette as his reasoning, the actual reasoning was probably to prevent other powerful tribes from coming to power the same way the Tuobas themselves did - using their maternal connections.

Tuoba Gui used his connections to the Helan and Murong tribes to claim power for himself. Later, Tuoba Shao's attempted seizure of power likely relied on his maternal tribe, the Helan tribe, making two incidents where this method of gaining power was attempted. Tuoba Gui created 子贵母死, and Tuoba Si this policy, to prevent others from using this method of gaining power.

Though the Tuoba clan did not restrict the greater freedom of common women, they restricted the women in elite classes, who they saw as being a threat to their power. Due to their knowledge that they only came to power with the help of maternal connections, they became fearful of these connections being exploited.

It is for this reason that the practice continued after the death of Tuoba Si, and continued to as far as Empress Dowager Feng's regency over Emperor Xiaowen. The practice was likely abolished during the sinicisation reforms of Emperor Xiaowen.

[justawanderingbabbit]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love!

Babbit babbling ahead!

The story that pulled me into writing fanfic was Scum Villain Self-Saving System. I won't say my first or second fic is my favorite, though; both have flaws that I'm not ashamed of but mean they're not up to snuff. Since then I've written for Scum Villain, Modao Zushi and Heaven Official's Blessing, as well as for Dao Mo Biji (AKA the Graverobber's chronicles)

1) What Is Not Said

The Scum Villain universe is changed by the simple matter of Liu Qingge rescuing Shen Jiu from the Qing before Shen Jiu is driven to homicide. This results in Shen Jiu getting the training he needed when he needed it and shifts the course events away from ever needing a Shen Yuan to fix things. (I may, one day, address what happens with Shen Yuan, but not any time soon.)

The title comes from the line, "Communication is the understanding of what is not said." Since lack of communication is the primary cause of death in Moxiang Tongshu's works, this fic is all about properly communicating.

2) Different Paths to the Same Route

In a world where Nie Mingjue kills (sort of) his 3rd sworn brother, he and Lan Xichen work together to save Jin Guangyao's spirit and - when he's mostly restored to them - to prevent Jin Guangshan's plans for the cultivational world from wreaking havoc. Just this once, almost everybody lives.

The title is based on a Modao Zushi music video called Different Paths, in part because despite the changes, certain fixed events are fixed and still sort of happen.

3) Moxiang Tongxiu Crack and Drabbles

As the title says, this is a huge compilation of short fics based on various of Moxiang Tongxiu's works. Some are silly little fics, some a bit more serious. Not really drabbles, perhaps, but so it goes.

Some of the fics form the basis for other fics but those aren't finished and (I'm sorry) may never be because they're sitting there laughing at me.

4) The Wang Who Came In From The Cold

I've been pretty focused on Daomo Biji lately, so most of my more recent fics come from there. This one posits that Wang Can from Sand Sea (1) survives, (2) is Liu Sang's 'twin', and (3) what would happen if he showed up at Wushanjiu after rescuing Xiaomai from thugs.

It has a follow up, wherein Yan Sanxing is their parent and is rescued from durance very cold and vile and the truth about their family is revealed.

5) Alias Yue and Huo

Another Daomo Biji fic, yet another focused on Wang Can. (I love Liu Sang but Wang Can is so FUN to write!) Here Wang Can falters in his escape from Wang Pangzi, Xiuxiu and the Blue Robed Master, and ends up revealing his Zhang kinship and joining Wang Pangzi on a trip to Changbai. Liu Sang makes an appearance later, but the focus is on the buddy trip.

Could be a ship fic if one wants it to be, it's certainly implied later, but the primary goal is understanding.

Title comes from Wang Pangzi and Wang Can's given names. Pangzi's actual name is Yue Ban, whose characters together become Pang, or fat. Can is made up of the characters for fire and mountain, so they used the aliases Yue and Huo on their trip.

----

It was hard to choose which fics to highlight here. My preferences change depending on my mood.

And now the tagging... @pearlpugly, @littlesmartart, @foxofninetales, @sharkbeneaththelotus, @merinnan

[demoniqt]

Remarried Series Part 2: As the West Wind Blows

Note: You can find Part 1 here. I recommend reading that first for context. This Part revolves around the pairing SQQ (SJ) / LQG instead. There’s also warning of attempted non-con in later chapters. So bewarned!

Summary:

AU of the Remarried Empress series. SQQ never met TLJ. Instead, he leaves Yue Manor on his own and contemplates his future. In the meantime, Liu Qingge rushes to offer him a place to be recognised for his own achievements.

Liu Qingge looked up at the inn's nameboard, making sure that he had the correct location.

The cool night wind was making the lanterns that hung from the rafters swing like they were welcoming him. Answering the silent call, he entered the inn and was immediately approached by the keeper.

"My Lord, how can I help you? A room to stay or a room to dine?" asked the inn owner.

"I'm here to find someone," Liu Qingge told him. "Is there a Shen Qingqiu staying here at the moment?"

He already knew that this was where the former First Husband of Yue Qingyuan was staying but was gratified nonetheless when the inn owner nodded quickly.

"Master Shen is staying here," he said. "He's in the gardens right now. Would you like me to lead you there?"

"Yes," he answered, letting the man send a servant to inform the guest first.

"Master Shen is certainly a popular figure," the inn owner commented as they walked down the pathway towards the gardens. "He's only been staying here for the last three days and three nobles have already called on him."

Immediately alert, Liu Qingge asked, "What were their business with Shen Qingqiu?"

"Oh, I don't know," answered the inn owner, looking surprised at his line of question. "I just know that Master Shen has been hosting them in the gardens instead of the meeting rooms."

In a public place instead of a private room? Where anyone can just hear their conversations? Either Shen Qingqiu believed that he had nothing to hide or he did not trust his callers.

Liu Qingge took out a silver tael silently and the innkeeper immediately folded to his unspoken question.

"I heard from my servers that Lord Jin wants to take Master Shen as his First Consort, Lieutenant Colonel Gongyi wants to marry him as well though as his official spouse, while Chancellor Yun wants Master Shen to go to Qishan to negotiate with King Wen over the salt trade," the innkeeper informed him.

Liu Qingge contemplated the information that had been delivered. He knew that Lord Jin Guangshan was a philanderer who coveted beauties and he wasn't surprised at all that the flagrant pervert would target the newly divorced Shen Qingqiu.

Lieutenant Colonel Gongyi Xiao was a surprise though, considering the youth was younger than Shen Qingqiu by nearly a decade and was just gaining fame amongst the military circle. Liu Qingge didn't know what he thought he could gain from marrying a notorious divorcé, especially when it would not bode well for his reputation. The rumours amidst the noble circle often painted Shen Qingqiu as a cunning schemer and even Liu Qingge at one point had been convinced of it.

The information about Chancellor Yun though, was more worrying than the others. Shen Qingqiu would most likely take that offer, since becoming an ambassador of their court was a better choice than any spousal position. However, Liu Qingge also knew that King Wen Ruohan would likely try to keep Shen Qingqiu permanently in Qishan.  

"We're here, Lieutenant General Liu," the innkeeper said, gesturing to the pavilion built over the lotus pond.

Liu Qingge crossed the bridge, coming upon the beautiful garden pavilion without shifting his gaze from the person he came to meet.

"Lieutenant General Liu," Shen Qingqiu greeted him.

Under the glowing moonlight and the glittering stars, Shen Qingqiu, in his pale green robes, looked like an immortal deity that descended upon the lotus pond.

***

Liu Qingge first heard of Shen Qingqiu a few months after Lord Yue's marriage to the commoner.

"I heard he was a servant of Yue Manor and he climbed into the Lord's bed one night and seduced him," whispered a nobleman sitting near him.

Liu Qingge tried to ignore the conversations around him but the susurrus of voices continued abuzz.

"No. No. I heard he's a courtesan from the Red Light district that caught Lord Yue's eye," whispered another gossiper.

"Lord Yue doesn't go to the brothel. Don't be ridiculous," returned another voice. "That Shen Qingqiu is a commoner from the streets. Most likely he used his pretty face to service men in the alley ways."

There was crude laughter and Liu Qingge, disgusted by the talk, left the pavilion to go for a walk elsewhere.

However, the talk of Shen Qingqiu didn't end even months after that.

The next he heard of Yue Qingyuan's husband was when there was an alleged attack on another noble, Lord Jin Guangshan, who claimed that Shen Qingqiu had pushed him into the koi pond when he'd come upon him admiring the colours of the imported fish.

"I only greeted him and he glared at me and pushed me in!"

Apparently, according to rumours, Shen Qingqiu had looked down upon him with contempt and walked away, offering no help nor any explanation on why he had done it.

"Such crude behaviour! No wonder people call him a loathsome commoner!"

"Didn't he also threaten Lady Qin the other day for merely looking at Lord Yue?"

"What a jealous spouse! Poor Lord Yue, stuck with such a disgraceful husband!"

"Hmph, he also tricked Minister Li, didn't he? Made him admit to laundering the funds for the flood relief. Who knows whether its really true or not?"

"Yes, because of that, Lord Yue was bestowed the lands and properties of Minister Li, wasn't he?

"That Shen Qingqiu must have really benefited from that greatly."

What a despicable person, Liu Qingge thought to himself upon hearing the rumours circulating around.

Then he thought no more of the disreputable First Husband of Lord Yue Qingyuan.

Never once did he contemplate the truth beyond the rumours.

At least, not until his father pointed it out for him.

***

The borders keeping out the barbarians were kept in check by several key passes and fortresses which were guarded tightly by the armies of the four generals.

Unfortunately, one of the passes, Yonghu Pass, was attacked one night in an ambush and was summarily seized by the barbarians. It allowed them to cut off access to one of the larger strongholds, which meant that the defense line had been breached.

The Liu army, one of the largest in the empire, was immediately dispatched to wrestle back both the pass and the stronghold. As they travelled, Liu Qingge and his father discussed on the strategies that they could deploy and upon inspection of the map, his father fell silent. He stared at the map for a moment before he pointed at a particular cliff not too far from the fortress.

"This place, its the best place to launch an ambush," Liu Fangzhao said suddenly.

"What do you mean? This is too far from the Yonghu Pass' checkpoint," Liu Qingge commented, frowning at the map himself.

"Before we left the palace, I came across Master Shen Qingqiu, the husband of Lord Yue Qingyuan. He made a comment about how he visited Yonghu Pass once with his husband a few years ago. He mentioned the canyon leading to the pass being an easy ambush point," Liu Fangzhao explained. "I didn't understand what he meant at that time. But seeing the map now, it's clear that he meant cutting off the supply chain and reinforcements from that point will be pivotal to winning back Yonghu Pass."

"Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge repeated the name, remembering all the unsavory gossip about the official spouse of Yue Qingyuan. "Is what he said reliable?"

His father studied the map deeper, clearly remembering the terrain in his mind's eye. "Yes, yes. I believe what he said is true."

"Is he trustworthy though?" Liu Qingge questioned again.

Liu Fangzhao gave him a look, "Why would you think that he is untrustworthy?"

"The rumours...," Liu Qingge said hesitantly.

"Are more reliable?" Liu Fangzhao questioned him back. "Even if you do not trust the words of Shen Qingqiu, does the words of your old father reassure you instead?"

"I will gather the men," Liu Qingge said to his father before leaving to do so. He might not trust Shen Qingqiu's words but if his father had confidence in the strategy, he would not question it further.

"Yonghu Pass," his father muttered to himself as he continued to contemplate the map, "What else did he say? An underground river?"

It took two months before the barbarians attempted to break through their front in a bid to escape the stronghold, which was firmly surrounded by their soldiers.

By that point, the Liu army had cut off their supply chain and spiked their water source. The opposing army was starved, thirsty and sickly, with their provisions having run out for over three weeks. They fought like mad men, crazed from hunger and desperation.

They might not have used the most honorable tactics in Liu Qingge's eyes, but it was an easy battle for the Liu army that day.  

***

Liu Qingge finally met Shen Qingqiu for the first time when they returned to the capital to be rewarded for their successful recapture of Yonghu Pass and Tangxi Fortress.

If he had a choice, Liu Qingge would never have gone to the banquet since he didn't like social gatherings that required him to rub elbows with annoying, pompous nobles who had never seen the battlefields. But his father had given him a look when he said that it was compulsory for both of them to be present and Liu Qingge was forced to comply to his father's wishes.

"Master Shen," greeted Liu Fangzhao as they approached a lithe young man dressed in green silk robes embroidered with the pattern of golden bamboo leaves. When Shen Qingqiu turned to them, Liu Qingge could understand why despite all the unsavory gossip, he was still renown foremost as a beauty.  

Shen Qingqiu opened his fan to cover the lower half of his face while inspecting them with sharp jade eyes before recognition set in.  

"General Liu," he greeted Liu Fangzhao, then to Liu Qingge, "Lieutenant General Liu."

He was using the new title that Liu Qingge had just been appointed with, something that the other nobles hadn't even had the courtesy of using. They kept calling him by his old title, Colonel, and commenting on how his youth kept making them forget that they should call him Lieutenant General now. It was an obvious dig at his age and it was only because Liu Qingge did not care for his title that he didn't call them out on their disrespectful behaviour.

"Your comment on the terrain at Yonghu Pass helped us regain the stronghold," Liu Fangzhao said with a smile on his face.

But Shen Qingqiu's expression did not change, as if he was waiting for something else. Nor did he reply to the statement made by Liu Qingge's father.

Liu Fangzhao coughed after a moment of awkward silence, "That is to say, we were only successful thanks to your contribution, Master Shen."

"Oh," Shen Qingqiu said, blinking in surprise. "You're... welcome."

It occurred suddenly to Liu Qingge that maybe Shen Qingqiu wasn't used to being shown gratitude for his advices. Perhaps he had expected Liu Qingge's father to criticise him for commenting on issues beyond his scope of responsibilities. A husband of a lord had no business meddling in the matters of the army general, after all.

As Shen Qingqiu left, Liu Qingge stared after him, noting the way other nobles gave way to him, as if avoiding him like he was diseased.

For some reason, his figure painted a very lonely picture.

***

"Father?"

Liu Fangzhao didn't reply him, so intent on the scroll before him that he didn't even hear his son's call.

"Father?"

"Oh, hm? Qingge," Liu Fangzhao said, looking up from the scroll. "What is it?"

"What are you reading? You didn't even hear me come in," Liu Qingge said as he stepped closer to his father's table.

Liu Fangzhao lifted the scroll and turned it around for him to read the title.

"The Thirty-Two Foreign Formations," Liu Qingge read aloud. "What is this?"

"This is a study of the past military formations usually used by the invaders," his father said. "The formations has changed over time but the root of the arrays can be traced back to these designs. The author has studied the strengths and weaknesses of these formations, emphasising its usage depending on the terrain of the battlefield and the manpower available. It is a fascinating read."

"Indeed," Liu Qingge commented, pulled in by the writing. He briefly glanced at the name of the author and paused.

"Shen Qingqiu?" he read before looking up at his father. "The writer is Shen Qingqiu."

Liu Fangzhao nodded as he sipped his lukewarm tea and made a face.

"From my limited conversations with that child, I surmise that he is very gifted in war strategies and literature. It is a pity that his birthright is so lowly," Liu Fangzhao commented, but without the usual contempt that most nobles adopted. "It has hindered any acknowledgement of his brilliance and hard work in favour of his Lord husband's achievements."

In other words, whatever achievements that Shen Qingqiu had was accredited to Yue Qingyuan. But whatever faults he had was his alone. It hardly seem fair to Liu Qingge, but he didn't say that aloud. Likely, his father shared the same sentiment.

"If he wasn't married to Lord Yue and had taken the Imperial Exams, he could have become an official," Liu Qingge commented.

"Likely," his father agreed. "But without a wealthy patron, he wouldn't have risen very high and it would likely take a long time before he gained any post of significance. His marriage to Lord Yue guarantees a better life in the long run."

Does it though?

Shen Qingqiu hadn't seemed very happy the last few times Liu Qingge had laid eyes on him. His expression was usually cold and he rarely smiled, if he ever did so in Liu Qingge's presence. He was usually alone, even when sitting amongst fellow spouses, and only seemed to get along with foreign dignitaries who was unfamiliar with his reputation in court.

His husband, Lord Yue, was renown as a genial noble, said to be too soft and doting on his infamous spouse. It was said that he seldom punishes Shen Qingqiu for any infractions. Even when his husband pushed Lord Jin into the koi pond, Lord Yue had just apologised on his behalf and presented an ore mine to the other noble as compensation for his misdeed.

Whenever Liu Qingge saw them together, Shen Qingqiu would look at no one else and attended to his Lord husband diligently as a spouse should. In turn, Lord Yue never indicate that he was dissatisfied with his husband in anyway.

Or at least, that was what Liu Qingge had assumed.

***

The next time he met Shen Qingqiu was during the banquet celebrating the peace treaty with Qishan, which had been in turmoil with the empire for the past decade.

King Wen, who was the maternal uncle of Emperor Huang, had finally conceded to peacefully settle their differences and arrived at the palace as a guest of honour.

During the banquet, Shen Qingqiu had performed a solo dance with cherry blossoms scattered beneath his bare feet. It would have been unseemly but his simple, unadorned white silk robes lent him an air of purity and grace. The light green sash he wrapped around his elbows flowed like an undulating river as he twirled on the stage, kicking up petals that filled the hall with a floral scent.

Liu Qingge remembered sitting at the front table with his father, feeling the soft touch of the cherry blossom petals as it rained upon him.

For a moment, Shen Qingqiu looked like a heavenly fairy dancing upon a flower field.

It was much later after the banquet that Liu Qingge found out that, originally, it was supposed to be a joint performance with selected spouses of the nobles. However, the other spouses had singled Shen Qingqiu out, calling him pompous and unwilling to cooperate.

They'd forced him to perform alone in an attempt to humiliate him.

Only, he'd done so well that Emperor Huang had gifted him with a kingfisher hairpin.

Hearing how the other spouses had seethed with jealousy after that made Liu Qingge feel smug on behalf of Shen Qingqiu.

But the Emperor wasn't the only one that had been impressed with the performance.

Liu Qingge had caught sight of King Wen's expression during the performance. The King's face had been filled with rapture and fascination. And even after the performance, when Shen Qingqiu had joined Yue Qingyuan at his table to serve his Lord husband, King Wen had continuously shot covetous glances at Shen Qingqiu.

He was also pretty sure that wily Chancellor Yun knew that King Wen would snatch Shen Qingqiu up immediately if he so much as stepped foot into Qishan.

The court could then kick up a fuss for having their 'ambassador' abducted and demand compensation in the form of the salt trade agreement. And likely, the wealthy King would allow it if he got to keep his prize; Shen Qingqiu as his newest concubine.  

Which was why Liu Qingge couldn't afford to let Shen Qingqiu go to Qishan.

He knew that Shen Qingqiu would never return if he did.

***

"Yue Qingyuan divorced Shen Qingqiu!!?"

Liu Qingge couldn't believe his ears when Yang Yixuan reported it to him. His assistant nodded in confirmation.

"Master Shen left Yue Manor three days ago," the youth confirmed.

"Why? And where is he now?" Liu Qingge questioned, slamming down the documents he was reading.

"Uhm, I heard it's because Second Wife Qi is with child and Lord Yue wanted to legitimise his heir. Oh, I think Master Shen is in Jinyang Inn," his assistant answered. "At least, that was what Ning Yingying told me when I ran across her at the market. She was contemplating leaving Yue Manor too, to continue following Master Shen as his servant."

Without further thought, Liu Qingge left his table, ignoring Yang Yixuan's spluttering protestation. He grabbed his cloak on the way out, the autumn weather was getting too cold even for him.

How could Yue Qingyuan just divorce his husband and throw him out on his own when winter was just approaching? What was that man thinking? Did he not love Shen Qingqiu? Everyone in court had harped on and on about how doting he was towards his husband, even when he had taken on a second spouse. They had said that he practically spoiled Shen Qingqiu, allowing him to act as he pleased.

So how could he do this to his husband of ten years? Just to legitimise a child? When he could have just had Shen Qingqiu adopt the child to give him legitimacy?

Liu Qingge couldn't understand it.

The amount of humiliation that Shen Qingqiu had to go through because of that... he couldn't even imagine it.

Regardless, Liu Qingge was not an ungrateful person. Shen Qingqiu had helped his father and himself multiple times, even if the man never realised it.

He can't let the man go without a patron or protector. Shen Qingqiu was too well-known to be left alone. He was relatively sure that if Shen Qingqiu was left without protection, he would be abducted by unsavory men for objectionable purposes.

By hook or by crook, even if he had to resort to tactics that he didn't like, Liu Qingge had to convince Shen Qingqiu to return home with him.

*****

"I want you to come to the borderlands with us to take a role as our advisor."

To say that Shen Qingqiu was surprised by the offer was an understatement. Liu Qingge was the last person he'd expected to call on him after all, considering their previous interactions.

Shen Qingqiu looked down at the rippling water, feeling a pang of disappointment. He had honestly thought that the man was more honorable than this. Perhaps he had overestimated him. Or perhaps his disappointment with Yue Qingyuan had coloured his interactions with all men now.

Ever since he left Yue Manor, there had been various offers arriving in the form of letters and guests, all hoping to take advantage of his vulnerable state.

Lord Jin Guangshan, who had been the one to come onto him years ago and was subsequently pushed into the koi pond by him, had been the first to come sniffing after him the day after he left Yue Manor. The pompous oaf seriously thought that he was so desperate for protection that he would gladly accept his offer to become his concubine.

As if.

The man had been so shocked when he declined immediately and sent him off without a moment of hesitation. He'd even had the gall to threaten Shen Qingqiu when he left.

"You'd never be able to escape the capital! I'll make sure of it!" the stupid man had shouted as he stormed off.

Shen Qingqiu knew regardless of the threat that he wouldn't be able to leave the capital anyway. Not when Yue Qingyuan still continued to send men to monitor him as well as bombarding him with continuous letters of apology and gifts. That man had always been like that, see sawing between loving Shen Qingqiu and resenting him for being a reminder of their dark past.

It was so unfair. It wasn't as if Shen Qingqiu asked for any of this.

For all their sakes, it would be better for Shen Qingqiu to completely cut ties with Yue Qingyuan.

However, knowing his ex-husband, Yue Qingyuan would probably only last another week before attempting to force him back to Yue Manor in the guise of 'caring' for him. So he had a limited amount of time to make his decision, as the only way he could completely cut ties with his ex-husband was to remarry or to leave the capital with the support of an influential figure.

As such, he had been contemplating Chancellor Yun's offer to become an ambassador when he received a notification that Liu Qingge was requesting for a meeting with him.

"Why are you offering me this role?" Shen Qingqiu asked the lieutenant general.

"Your dissertation on the enemies' formations helped us win quite a few battles," Liu Qingge answered. "Your counsel at the borderlands would greatly assist us in our efforts to protect our country, and if possible, promote our advancement in widening our borders."

When Shen Qingqiu kept quiet, silently pouring tea for the lieutenant general, Liu Qingge continued, "My father spoke highly of you. He said that you would an asset to us if you should choose to follow us into the battlefield. In fact, he would be here himself if he could. As it is, he has already left for the west and I was planning to join him the day after tomorrow."

"The day after tomorrow," Shen Qingqiu repeated and Liu Qingge nodded.

"Yes," Liu Qingge confirmed.

"Then that would leave me with very little time to think on this offer," Shen Qingqiu said and Liu Qingge quickly backtracked.

"Please take your time to contemplate my offer," the lieutenant general said hastily, who clearly had not thought things through. Did he think that Shen Qingqiu would give him an immediate answer without thinking on it?

"I was only planning to go the day after tomorrow. If Master Shen requires more time to think, I will gladly wait for your answer," Liu Qingge reassured him.

The change in attitude was certainly surprising and at the same time, gratifying. Shen Qingqiu would have thought that the man would be too arrogant to wait for an answer from a jilted commoner like him. It would be par for the course for some young noble like him after all.

But thinking on it, it was as if Liu Qingge didn't remember their first meeting and what he did...

Shen Qingqiu had just married Yue Qingyuan then and was still getting used to the changes in his life. He'd just transitioned from being a street rat to a noble by marriage, so he'd been a little unused to the priviledges afforded him in his new position.

He was wearing silk robes that day, soft and smooth to the touch and embroidered with his favourite bamboo leaves motives at the edges. It was a little plain for someone his station but Shen Qingqiu preferred simple elegance to ostentatious luxury. He was just making his first visit with Yue Qingyuan to the teahouse commonly visited by nobles.

When Yue Qingyuan had left him to admire the blooming peonies, he came across a group of the young nobles.  

Liu Qingge, who was still a Lieutenant Colonel then, had glanced at him once and dismissed him, like he was a mere servant. The other nobles had eyed him for a moment before telling him to sit down to make them a new pot of tea.

They called him a tea server, even though he was more well-dressed than one of those pretty maidens that served as a tea maker.

Humiliated, Shen Qingqiu had left the teahouse and later, Yue Qingyuan returned alone to gently reprimand him for not informing him of his departure before leaving.

Thinking back, Yue Qingyuan probably meant that Shen Qingqiu shouldn't have left without his permission, even if he didn't word it that way.

Ah, thinking of that man never stopped making his heart throb with pain. Fortunately for him, he had already cried out his eyes the night before in his inn room so there was no chances of him suddenly dissolving into tears in front of Liu Qingge.

Brushing away any further thought of his ex-husband, Shen Qingqiu returned to the conversation at hand.

"I will think on it and give you an answer by tomorrow night," Shen Qingqiu promised. "If you could, please send a contract detailing the description of my responsibilities as your advisor."

Liu Qingge nodded in agreement, "I came out in a rush so I have not prepared anything. For that, I apologise. I will draft out the contract and send it to you as soon as possible."

Huh, that was easier than Shen Qingqiu had expected.

It was as if Liu Qingge really wanted desperately for him to say yes.

***

Liu Qingge had never been an anxious person but he spent the next day feeling antsy, barely able to sit down at his office table for five minutes before feeling the need to stand up and pace.  

He'd finished the contract the night before and sent it early that morning at dawn, hoping to let Shen Qingqiu know how serious he was with his proposition.

"Master," Yang Yixuan called out, handing some letters to him.

Liu Qingge took it and look through them but none of them seemed important. The few personal letters from other nobles, marriage proposals to their daughters or such, were immediately thrown into the fire crackling merrily in the brazier. He never bothered replying them, which was par for the course for him, so the nobles knew not to expect any return letters from him.

Itching to do more, he picked up his sword and headed out into the training grounds.

The physical exercise did help ease his restless mind but as evening approached, he realised how much he stank of sweat and how unpresentable he looked. He made it a point to return home to clean up before he headed to the inn to call on Shen Qingqiu once more.

This time, the innkeeper did not approach him, being preoccupied with a few customers, so Liu Qingge headed towards the gardens on his own. He didn't need anyone to guide him as the moon was shining brightly that night, illuminating the pathways and giving everything a dreamy glow.

It didn't take long before he heard voices in the garden, one of which he recognised as Shen Qingqiu's. The other...

"The cloak you sewn, I've received it. It is beautiful."  

"I'm sure your new wife can do a better job than this," Shen Qingqiu replied in a cold and dismissive tone. "She is the perfect First Wife after all."

As Liu Qingge suspected, it was Yue Qingyuan who was at the garden with Shen Qingqiu. Liu Qingge stopped behind a pillar, watching suspiciously as Yue Qingyuan continued;

"Are you well? You look so pale."

"My health is no longer of your concern," Shen Qingqiu retorted, turning away and looking irritated at the presence of his ex-husband. If Liu Qingge hadn't seen the unshed tears Shen Qingqiu had in his eyes the night before, he too would have been fooled by his act.

"How can you say that? A-Jiu, I still love you. Just come home. You can continue staying in your courtyard. I've already asked the servants to clean and restock the Bamboo courtyard for you," Yue Qingyuan said gently.

"Oh? How generous of you. Previously, you were offering the back courtyard, the one for old, unwanted concubines? What's the change for? That's what I am, isn't it?"

"I've reflected on my words," Yue Qingyuan said in a regretful tone. "I know I was wrong to offer that place to you. I'll make it up to you."

"You always say that, but nothing will change. Well, except my status. Because now I'm not even an official spouse, am I?"

"A-Jiu, I'm sorr-" Yue Qingyuan implored, reaching out for Shen Qingqiu who flinched away.

"It is improper for you to touch me, Lord Yue. We are no longer married."

"I know I am in the wrong, but I swore I would care for you, so just come home," Yue Qingyuan said, almost begging.

"You also swore that you will love no one else, but we both know how that went," Shen Qingqiu answered spitefully.

Liu Qingge stood at the corner of the pathway, watching as Yue Qingyuan tried to take a hold of Shen Qingqiu's hand once more but was rebuffed quickly when latter retreated several steps back. He wasn't sure if he should show himself and run interference, considering this was a matter between the once-married couple.

"I know I'm in the wrong," Yue Qingyuan said beseechingly. "But A-Jiu, where will you go now? Are you really going to marry Lord Jin? You said that he is a philanderer, you pushed him into the pond when he made advances on you. You told me that, I believe you now. Don't marry him, he will not cherish you the way you deserve."

"Cherish me? Like you have?" Shen Qingqiu said with a derisive laugh. "Don't look down on me, Yue Qingyuan. A perverted philanderer is not the only choice I have."

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Yue Qingyuan said quickly.

"I don't care what you meant," Shen Qingqiu returned. His tone was cold and his expression mirrored his words. "You have already given me divorced papers. Our bond is broken and nothing you say can undo what you've done. We are now strangers."

"How can you say that!? We were married for ten years and we've known each other since we were children," Yue Qingyuan implored.

"You should be grateful we had ten years," Shen Qingqiu said mercilessly. "Isn't that what you told me? When you handed me those divorce papers."

Yue Qingyuan's face was full of regret and woe but Liu Qingge felt no sympathy for him, not even pity. The man had sowed his own seeds and should reap what he sowed. Casting aside his husband of ten years just to legitimize his child. All just to satisfy the Qi family.

What nonsense.

Liu Qingge stepped out from behind the pillar and approached the two of them.

"Master Shen, good evening," he called out, acting as if he hadn't eavesdropped on them.

As he expected, his presence effectively put a halt to the illusion of privacy to their surroundings and Yue Qingyuan seem to realise that they were in a public setting. He visibly struggled to regain his composure as Shen Qingqiu made to escape the proximity of his presence by walking towards Liu Qingge.

"Lieutenant General Liu," greeted Shen Qingqiu calmly and Liu Qingge returned the gesture, ignoring the noble behind him. "Good evening."

"Good evening, Young Master Liu," Yue Qingyuan greeted when he composed himself, attempting to assert himself between Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu.

It was such a smooth, practice move that Liu Qingge had never thought twice about it before when Yue Qingyuan used to do that during social gatherings. That was, until now.  

"I am no longer your husband, Lord Yue," Shen Qingqiu reminded. "You do not need to shield me anymore."

Yue Qingyuan faltered for a moment before replying, "I apologise. It is a force of habit."

Shen Qingqiu didn't bother to grace that with an answer, looking away dismissively. Seeing that, Liu Qingge decided to interfere once more.

"Master Shen, may I have a word with you?" Liu Qingge said. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Yue Qingyuan straighten in surprise and suspicion, but he ignored him.

"Yes," Shen Qingqiu said quickly. "Come, I will prepare tea and refreshments for you. Lord Yue, I believe you know how to show yourself out."

"A-Jiu-!"

Shen Qingqiu walked away and Liu Qingge followed after. When he turned for a quick glance at the lone figure of Yue Qingyuan, he saw the man looking forlorn and miserable, as if he had been the one that was jilted and not the other way round.

***

"I was about to send it to your office," Shen Qingqiu said, handing the scroll to him.

"My office?" Liu Qingge parroted, taking the contract and opening it.

"Yes, via a messenger," Shen Qingqiu answered and Liu Qingge's face coloured when he realised that he didn't have to make the journey all the way to the inn to get Shen Qingqiu's answer.

"Ah, I was impatient," Liu Qingge admitted sheepishly, "My apologies if I made you feel rushed."

"No apologies needed," Shen Qingqiu answered. "Your presence was timely."

Liu Qingge smiled at that and looked down at the contract. Much to his disappointment, it was still unsigned.

"Was the offer not enough? We can allocate more for your salary," Liu Qingge said. "I can work something out with my father over the budget."

"I have no qualms on the salary," Shen Qingqiu answered. "It is an appropriate figure for such a position."

"Then, what is the matter?" Liu Qingge asked.

"There are some things that I would like to include before I sign the contract, if possible," Shen Qingqiu said honestly. He took out a parchment and rewrote his additional terms.

Liu Qingge took the offered list and after reading it, answered immediately, no consultation with his father needed, "Yes, to all of this, including the house in the suburbs with a plot of land."

"Do you not need to contemplate my terms?" Shen Qingqiu asked, surprised at the hasty answer. "Or discuss with your general?"

"The Liu family has a branch in the suburbs of Gusu, owning plenty of properties and land there. I'm sure we can allocate a proper manor there for your use," Liu Qingge explained. Shen Qingqiu shook his head.

"No, not a manor. Just a house, enough for one master and a few servants, as well as a land I can live off from," Shen Qingqiu said. "Consider it my retirement incentive."

"Retirement? At this age?" Liu Qingge blurted out.

Shen Qingqiu gave him a dead stare and that was when Liu Qingge finally noticed the dark rings around his eyes, the sunken cheeks and pale lips. He looked sad and tired, fatigued as if he hadn't been sleeping at all. Seeing that, Liu Qingge felt a pang of sympathy for the newly divorced man.  

"I'll make sure all your requests are fulfilled," Liu Qingge promised, unrolling the contract to include the additional clauses before signing it on behalf of his father. Then he turned it around and let Shen Qingqiu look through it. Satisfied with what he had read through, Shen Qingqiu picked up the brush and signed his name on it too.

"I must admit," Liu Qingge said, rolling the scroll up. "I was worried that you would not be pleased with the idea of leaving the capital."

"I thought about it," Shen Qingqiu answered. "It would be the best if I took a post outside of the capital. Staying here... there are too many memories."

And a persistent ex-husband to boot, thought Liu Qingge uncharitably.

"It's best that I leave as soon as I can," Shen Qingqiu said, gesturing to his meager belongings. "As you can see, I have yet to unpack my things, so I will be able to leave with you tomorrow as per your schedule."

Oh, Liu Qingge realised. He gave himself that time limit to not inconvenience me.  

"Tomorrow," Liu Qingge said before swallowing the lump in his throat. "Tomorrow, I will come and fetch you."

Shen Qingqiu nodded and when Liu Qingge got up to leave, Shen Qingqiu followed after to send him out the door courteously.

However, Liu Qingge's departure from the inn was halted when he spied Yue Qingyuan still lurking in the gardens adjacent to Shen Qingqiu's chambers. Without further thought, he turned around and returned to the door he just left. He knocked on the door and waited for Shen Qingqiu to open the door.

"Master Shen, perhaps it would be more convenient if you were to return to Liu Manor with me and we can depart from there at the break of dawn tomorrow," Liu Qingge said and Shen Qingqiu blinked in confusion.

"Why?"

"Convenience," Liu Qingge repeated. But Shen Qingqiu was not convinced. He even changed his stance and tilted his head in defiance. Liu Qingge immediately relented.

"Lord Yue is waiting for you in the gardens," he admitted. "I fear that he might try to force his way into your room."

Shen Qingqiu raised a brow at him, "Are you... worried for me?"

Liu Qingge opened his mouth then closed it, not knowing how to answer that question. Then he settled by saying, "I know that it is none of my concern, but even I can tell that you do not want to speak to him."

"So then, how do you think I can avoid him if I leave with you? We still have to go past him when we leave," Shen Qingqiu pointed out.

"I'm sure there's a backdoor somewhere-"

"There is. But it requires me to leave through the garden gate," Shen Qingqiu said drily. He looked almost amused by Liu Qingge's floundering.

"Then, how do you-"

"I will let him wait there," Shen Qingqiu answered him. "Let him wait all night if he wants to. I am planning to retire and rest before our travels tomorrow anyway."

"Oh," said Liu Qingge awkwardly. "Good idea. Uhm. Well, good night then."

"Yes, good night. Young Master Liu," Shen Qingqiu said, a small smile on his lips as he closed his room door once again.

It occurred to Liu Qingge, as he stalked past the gardens blatantly ignoring Yue Qingyuan's lurking figure, that this was the first time Shen Qingqiu had ever smiled at him.

***

He should have stayed and gotten Shen Qingqiu out with him that night.

***

The next morning, when his platoon reached the inn, there was a contingent of servants waiting at the front door.

"Open up and call Shen Qingqiu out! Our master has waited long enough!" he heard one maid, probably the head servant, shouting and pounding at the front door. "Don't keep people waiting for you! You're not the First Husband anymore!"

Irritated at her rudeness, Liu Qingge gestured for his second-in-command and Liu Bo rode forward.

"What is this!?" Liu Bo asked the servant waiting at the gate. She jumped in surprise and turned around only to catch sight of all the soldiers. The sight of them intimidated her so much, she immediately lost her pompousness and bowed down.  

"Sir, we are from the Yue estate. Our Lord has instructed us to bring Shen- uhm- Master Shen home," the woman answered timidly.

"Master Shen is no longer connected to Yue estate, so stop your shouting," Liu Bo said with a strict tone. "You're disturbing the peace."

"But Lord Yue-"

"Master Shen is no longer the spouse of Lord Yue," Liu Bo repeated, looking down on her from his horse. His look was so ominous that she quailed below him. "He is now an advisor and strategist of Liu Army."

Just as he said this, the door to the inn opened and two servants carrying suitcases came out.

Then, Shen Qingqiu stepped out, dressed in pale green robes with a thick brocade cloak around his shoulder. His hair, once tied up in a high knot to denote his noble standing, was half bound in a low bun held by a single jade hairpin and a sprig of white wintersweet flowers.

Without preamble, Liu Qingge got down from his horse immediately and approached his new advisor.

"We've prepared a horse for you," Liu Qingge said, gesturing for said horse to be brought forward. It was a pure white horse that Liu Qingge himself had chosen for Shen Qingqiu.

Liu Qingge watched as Shen Qingqiu came forward to offer his hand to the horse before gently patting it on the head. He'd never seen the former First Husband look so gentle before and.... it was fascinating, the dichotomy between coldness and gentleness that this man displayed.

"Ning Yingying! Ming Fan! What are you doing here!?" the maid from Yue Manor asked in a hushed but surprised tone.

"Our contracts are still with Master Shen," Ning Yingying answered in a somewhat innocent tone. "We came to ask Master Shen to take us with him."

"How dare you! Without Lord Yue's permission!?"

"Our contracts are with Master Shen," Ming Fan repeated, firmer. Then he ignored the spluttering head maid to put the luggage away in one of the caravans at the back of the contingent.

"What about your grandmother, Ning Yingying!? She's sick! Are you just leaving her behind?" the head maid demanded. "How unfilial!"

Ning Yingying's genial smile dropped and she gave her a cold look, "My grandmother passed away three days ago. Master paid for all her funeral fees and I've already paid my respects. You would have known that have you shown even an ounce of care. But it's clear that the people at Yue manor only cares about themselves."

The head maid face coloured and she spluttered, as if just noticing the white flowers in Ning Yingying and Shen Qingqiu's hair and the white band on Ming Fan's forehead.

All the while, Shen Qingqiu graciously ignored her, like she was beneath his notice and Liu Qingge found himself admiring his poise.

Liu Qingge helped Shen Qingqiu up the horse, making sure that his cloak was settled properly around him and that he was comfortable. He made a mental note to gift his new advisor with a thicker cloak. The west borderland was cold at this time of the year, colder than the capital.

"We move out," Liu Qingge commanded his platoon once he was back on his horse.

The group of Yue servants were left behind, bewildered and frightened, as Liu Qingge led Shen Qingqiu and his soldiers away. For some reason, Liu Qingge felt somewhat smug as they left the street and ultimately, the capital.

There was no way anyone could get their claws on Shen Qingqiu now.

*****

"Are these all for Master Shen?" Liu Bo asked as more carts came into view.

"Yes," Ning Yingying answered, looking at the invoice the merchants had handed her when they delivered the carts. "Everything seems to be in order."

"We will inform you of the destination for the next shipment," she said to the head merchant, passing him a large pouch filled with silver taels.

"Thank you so much," said the head merchant, bowing humbly. "Please thank Master Shen for his business."

"If the quality of the merchandise is up to Master's standards, he will surely write a letter of confirmation for the next shipment," Ning Yingying said.

For some reason, to Liu Bo, even though her tone was chirpy and light, it sounded like a threat. As if she was saying, "You better deliver quality goods to my master or you can kiss any further business from us goodbye."

The merchants, who had delivered over 10 carts of supplies of some sort, bowed enthusiastically before leaving. Now, the unmanned carts had to be delegated to some soldiers in their platoon as their new responsibilities.

Liu Bo sighed, wondering what he can do now. He should report it to his older cousin, Liu Qingge, who was also his commanding officer. But knowing him, LIu Qingge would probably just wave the matter away and tell him to do what was needed.

What would one advisor/strategist need with 10 carts of supplies anyway!??

"We better get going, we are already late, aren't we?" Ming Fan asked once everything was settled and Liu Bo felt the vein at his temple throb.

Seriously, the nerve of these servants!

***

When they arrived at the garrison, instead of coming down from his horse like Liu Qingge, Shen Qingqiu first looked around the camp. He peripherally noted the high parapet that hosted several large drums, the large tents all around and the smell of sweat, horses and dryness in the air.

"Here."

Shen Qingqiu looked down and Liu Qingge was offering a hand up to him. He wanted to help Shen Qingqiu down from his horse.  

Did the man really think that he was a damsel in constant need of help? He did the same thing too back at the inn when Yue Qingyuan was lurking around waiting for him.

Normally, it would irritate Shen Qingqiu to be thought of as weak and someone to be underestimated. It was presumptuous of Liu Qingge to offer help even when not needed, especially because he was worried that his ex-husband would do him harm when Yue Qingyuan's reputation was a thousand times better than Shen Qingqiu. But it was also... kind, because he was worried for Shen Qingqiu, who was still hurting from being abandoned by his husband.  

Shen Qingqiu wasn't used to this kind of consideration, even from his hus..ex-husband. It certainly wasn't something he had associated with Liu Qingge when he first met him and something that the rumours around court had not mentioned at all.

All the gossips circulating about Liu Qingge emphasized on how the man was courageous, strong and talented in swordsmanship. Of course, there were negative rumours about the man too, like how he was socially inept when it came to the noble circle, often saying blunt truths without thinking of diplomacy and not bothering to answer social calls when he was invited to events.

After meeting him for just a few weeks, Shen Qingqiu understood why he had such a reputation.

Liu Qingge was a simpleton. A talented warrior, but a simpleton nonetheless. Someone with an abundance of physical talent who had no care for social cues. He said what he wanted, when he wanted, without any care of how it impacted others because it was the truth.

Shen Qingqiu smiled, a small tentative thing, and took the hand Liu Qingge offered him.

He'd spent a decade dallying daily in subterfuge and politicking, always having to look over his shoulder in fear of being backstabbed. After so long fighting for his right to stay in the upper echelon of society, somewhere he had only accessed by marrying Yue Qingyuan, this kind of blunt honesty...

...he doesn't hate it.

***

Despite Liu Qingge clearly having taken the liberty to recruit him without his father's permission, General Liu welcomed him without preamble or hesitation at all. Shen Qingqiu would have been surprised by it if he didn't get the impression that the son was exactly like the father, a battle-minded simpleton.

"I always wanted to pick your brain over the battle of Shu Pass and what strategy plan you would have come out with if General Wei hadn't brought down the bridge to stop the Xiongnu tribe from breaching the border," Liu Fangzhao said over a shared dinner.

"I thought that General Wei did the right thing, considering the circumstances," Shen Qingqiu replied. "There were hardly time to shore the defenses and if he didn't react quickly enough, it would have been too late to stop the breach."

"Indeed, indeed," agreed Liu Fangzhao. "If there were more time to plan, he would sure have come up with a better plan."

"Yes, the river at that time of the year would have been flowing quite intensely, collapsing the bridge brought the General enough time to use the fire formation," Shen Qingqiu said, picking at his rice with his chopstick. "It was a sound strategy."

Liu Fangzhao smiled at him before filling his bowl with some meat pieces, "You must eat. It's cold here. Mutton will warm you up."

Shen Qingqiu stared at his bowl, not knowing how to inform the General that he was unused to eating much meat, especially when it dripped of fat and spices.

"Uh, thank you," he said shyly, taking a bite of the mutton. It was juicy and smoky, filled to the brim with spicy marinade.  He coughed, the mutton too spicy for his palate.

"Are you alright?" Liu Qingge asked, passing a cup of tea to him. Shen Qingqiu drank the tea and nearly spit it back out. The silly man didn't seem to realise that the hot tea only served to burn his tongue even further.

He swallowed the tea anyway, not wanting to start a fight with his employer so early during their acquaintance. He couldn't afford to.

"Are the dishes not to your liking?" Liu Fangzhao asked, looking at the plates on the table. "We can have the chef prepare other dishes."

"It's... a little spicy," he admitted, cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I'm used to blander dishes."

"Then we can-"

"Please don't," he stopped the general. "We are at a garrison, not the capital. We must not waste food. So do not cater to me."

Both father and son stared at him, making his cheeks colour even more. What was he saying to these seasoned men!? Of course they weren't going to waste food!

"The food will not go to waste," Liu Qingge promised, looking entirely too serious for the situation.

"It's your first day here, so I called for a spread," Liu Fangzhao explained. "We don't usually have such meat dishes here, unless there is a hunt the day before."

Shen Qingqiu nodded, not wanting to explain that his appetite had always been poor because of his childhood as a street rat and abused slave. He had time to recover from that when he was married to Yue Qingyuan but everything had spiraled once more when Qi Qingqi married into the Yue household. He'd suffered loss of appetite since then and the food 'shortage' did not help.  

Shen Qingqiu picked up his chopsticks and as amendment, pick up a piece of mutton for Liu Qingge and one for Liu Fangzhao.

"Thank you for welcoming me here," he said to them, genuine in his gratefulness.

It was the least he could do for the people who helped him escape the capital with his dignity intact, even if they weren't aware of it.

***

"So his ex-husband tried to drag him back?" Liu Fangzhao said when his son chronicled how he had come to acquire a new strategist after Shen Qingqiu left to retire for the night. .

"Yes, more than once," Liu Qingge said, pouring his father a cup of wine.

"What is that man thinking? Hasn't he humiliated his poor husband enough?" Liu Fangzhao said grumpily, sipping at his wine.

"Ex-husband," Liu Qingge corrected.

Liu Fangzhao ignored it, waving a hand. "It's bad enough that he divorced him merely to satisfy the Qi family. Now he wants to bring his husband back home as what- a concubine!?"

"Ex-husband," Liu Qingge repeated.

Liu Fangzhao peered at his son with a raised brow.

Liu QIngge's face coloured and he looked away, sipping at his own wine. He was going to blame his flaming cheeks on the alcohol if his father said anything.

"Well, it's not a loss for us," Liu Fangzhao commented, letting his son's momentary slip go without a fuss. For now.

"Just make sure that he adjusts well."

***

Shen Qingqiu watched as the men performed their morning drill, noting the differences between squadrons. He had yet to see them practice their formations and he was especially interested in their ability to adapt to different formations and their response time-

"Master Shen."

He looked over his shoulder to see Liu Qingge approach him with a folded cloak that was lined with what Shen Qingqiu could only assume was fox fur.

"It's getting cold," Liu Qingge explained, offering the thick fur cloak to him. "This will serve you better than that brocade cloak. It's made of fire fox fur."

It was true that the cloak that Yue Qingyuan gave him the year before was made for the weather in the capital, which was less cold, and was made for fashion rather than function. The winds here in the west was more intense and bitter than he was used to.  

"Thank you," Shen Qingqiu said, accepting the cloak. He felt a little touched by the gesture though he didn't show it.

He paused.

He often never showed his appreciation for people, even to his hus- ex-husband. Perhaps that was why people always called him cold and apathetic.

He touched the fur stitched to the collar of the cloak. It was soft and warm.

"Do you... still have more fur?" he asked tentatively, looking up at Liu Qingge.

***

"What are these?" Liu Qingge asked Liu Bo, gesturing to the sacks filling up the warehouse.

"These shipments belong to Master Shen," Liu Bo said. "I don't know what they are but his servants said to store them in a dry warehouse for provisions."

Liu Qingge leaned in to sniff at one of the bag and smelled... ginger?

"I'll go ask Master Shen. It is cluttering the warehouse," Liu Qingge said and Liu Bo nearly sighed in relief. He didn't want to be the one to bring it up to the cold-faced advisor. Shen Qingqiu might be a sight to look at, but he could be so expressionless sometimes that it was hard to know what he was thinking. Well, except when he was being sarcastic.

"I ordered them," Shen Qingqiu said when Liu Qingge asked him about it. "Before we left the capital, I had someone order these bags of dried condiments, powdered ginger and rice."

"Why?"

"During winter, chances of soldiers falling sick is high," Shen Qingqiu explained. "Mixing these and making ginger tea(1) will help boost their immune system. The storage for these is simple and it will last for months."

"Show me," Liu Qingge said to him and Shen Qingqiu nodded.

He had his servants open a few of the bags and mixed them in a large pot before pouring hot water into it. The scent that wafted across the camp made the soldiers falter during their practice, stomachs growling hungrily. Ming Fan and Ning Yingying had to recruit a few of the soldiers to help distribute bowls of the ginger tea mix out.

"This warms up my very soul," Liu Bo said, rubbing one hand on his belly with a satisfied sigh. The empty bowl he had been sipping from was still wafting steam.

Liu Qingge couldn't agree more. The ginger tea really did warm him up and the little pieces of dried meat, rice and spices in the concoction filled his belly in a comforting manner.

"Are you not having any?" he asked Shen Qingqiu, who was watching the soldiers happily consume the tea.

Shen Qingqiu shook his head, "I will have it once everyone has their fill. Now then, if that is all, I will take my leave."

Liu Qingge opened his mouth but found no excuse to stop the advisor, so he just watched as Shen Qingqiu returned to his tent.

He was jolted out of his reverie when Liu Bo elbowed him.

"I know he's pretty but don't stare too hard," his cousin joked and Liu Qingge blushed.

"Shut up!" Liu Qingge said snappishly, "If you're done, go do your drills!"

"I already finished them!" Liu Bo wailed.

"Do another ten times!"

"Mean! You're so mean! I'll tell Master Shen you're a bully!" Liu Bo stuck his tongue out and quickly dodged when Liu Qingge grabbed at him.

"You! I'll kill you!"

"Ack!"

***

Liu Qingge strolled through the garrison, keeping an eye out for any abnormalities. He might only be patrolling because he was unable to sleep but that didn't mean he was about to do a subpar job of it.

He came across Shen Qingqiu's tent and paused at the light flickering at the edges of his door.

"Has Master Shen retired yet?" he quietly asked the two guards standing at the door. The two soldiers exchanged looks before answering.

"Master Shen rarely sleeps," one of them said. "He's usually working till late night."

"Do you want us to call on him for you, Lieutenant General?" asked the other.

"No need," Liu Qingge said quickly. "I was just wondering."

"Oh, Lieutenant General?"

Liu Qingge turned around and saw Shen Qingqiu's maid, Ning Yingying, carrying a bowl of soup.  

"Are you here to see Master?" she asked sweetly.

"No, no," Liu Qingge said. "I don't want to bother Master Shen at this late hour."

"Oh, it won't be a bother. Master doesn't sleep much," she said. "That's why I made some hot soup for him."

"He doesn't sleep much?" Liu Qingge questioned as subtly as he could.

"Mn," she nodded, her face adopting a look of sadness. "Master, he doesn't sleep well... especially after..."

Was it because of... he didn't dare to ask. It really wasn't his business to ask about another's relationship, broken or otherwise.

"But keeping busy has helped," Ning Yingying assured him, smiling again to chase away her sorrow at seeing her master suffer because of that ungrateful Lord Yue and the annoying harpy he married.

"Still, he shouldn't work too hard," Liu Qingge said. "He has to take care of his health."

Ning Yingying nodded in agreement before a thought occurred to her and she looked up at the Lieutenant General with renewed eyes. Could it be...?

"Well, I shouldn't take up more of your time," Liu Qingge said, "Best to deliver the soup while it's warm."

"Ah, yes, of course!" she said. realising she's been standing in the cold for far too long. The soup would get cold soon.

She opened the flap to the tent and Liu Qingge caught a glimpse of Shen Qingqiu hunched over a piece of fur, sewing diligently by candlelight. Then he forced himself to turn away, reprimanding himself for his odd behaviour.

Before Ning Yingying stepped into her master's new abode, she turned around and watched as the handsome lieutenant general that saved her master left.

She hoped... well, she didn't want to raise her hopes too high, but...

Oh, she wished her master would open his heart once more.

This time to someone more worthy.

***

Since Shen Qingqiu arrived, the garrison hadn't yet been called to battle so he had time to become accustomed to their battle formations and to improve the pre-existing formations or create new ones.

Ming Fan and Ning Yingying were also able to spend time to integrate amongst the soldiers and the servants, garnering their trust and their intel. It was always essential to have an ear in every channel of communication.

Ming Fan, having learned cultivation from Shen Qingqiu since he was a pre-teen, was able to do drills alongside the soldiers. However, there was a marked difference between a servant of a noble and a soldier dedicated to fighting. The poor boy took months to become used to the grueling drills and to build up muscles to keep up with the others.

However, Shen Qingqiu was pleased to see that Ming Fan was slowly improving physically as well as mentally and emotionally. He made a lot more friends here than at Yue Manor, where most of the servants were older women who liked to criticise him.

As for Ning Yingying, Shen Qingqiu had initially been worried about bringing her to a garrison filled with men but she had taken it in stride and bloomed with the attention from the smitten soldiers.

To be honest, he hadn't wanted to offer her a position as his aide/servant but her grandmother had just passed away and she was all alone, so he had been worried for her well-being at Yue Manor. Furthermore, while he had been contemplating Liu Qingge's offer, she had come to the inn to beg Shen Qingqiu to take her along with him.

Knowing that she was alone like him, Shen Qingqiu just couldn't abandon her at the capital.

He was glad that he didn't though. Despite his worry, Ning Yingying was treated respectfully at the encampment. Shen Qingqiu attributed it to the Liu men's strict moral discipline and couldn't help but be impressed with their conduct. He'd already met too many hypocrites and sycophants, meeting Liu Qingge and his father, and even Liu Bo, was serious a breath of fresh air.

They always said what they mean, when they mean to, with absolutely no hidden motive or meaning. In turn, Shen Qingqiu found himself communicating in straightforward terms, without fear of being accused of having any unsavory intentions.

"I've been living in the capital for too long," he muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Liu Fangzhao asked him, looking up from his own scroll.

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just speaking with myself," Shen Qingqiu answered. "My stay at the capital has made me a very suspicious and negative person. Even more so than when I was a street child."

Liu Fangzhao snorted, "Considering the court is made of mostly hyenas, I don't blame you. That's why none of us like to be there. Only the ladies of the Liu family can tolerate the politics in court. Even then, they prefer to remain neutral."

"Perhaps I should have adopted that mindset when I married-" he cut himself off, reprimanding himself for thinking of that ass-husband of his.

"If you did, then Yue Qingyuan wouldn't have gotten as far as he did," Liu Fangshao said, looking back down on his scroll.

Shen Qingqiu paused and blinked a few times before asking, "What do you mean?"

"What? You think I don't know how you blackmailed Chancellor Yun, upstaged the Princess Liye and her husband, and provoked Madam Jin, among other things, all to increase Yue Qingyuan's influence?" Liu Fangzhao said with one brow raised.

"Then... if you knew about those things... about how I was willing to do anything to help Yue Qingyuan climb the ranks, why did you hire me?" Shen Qingqiu asked, shocked.

"You did it to protect your family. As a family man myself, I find it admirable," Liu Fangzhao said. "Qingge and a few others might find it unsavory, but the truth is that sometimes, you need to be ruthless in order to get things done. Especially when it comes to protecting the ones you love."

Shen Qingqiu looked down, feeling... exposed. Even though he'd done what he did because he felt it necessary to protect his hus- ex-husband and himself, he'd always been told that everything he did was selfish, underhanded and manipulative. Never had he been told that it was... admirable.

But here was a man, who was widely lauded as being righteous and honorable, telling him that what he did to protect his family was...

He felt... understood.

"Thank you," he muttered softly and sincerely.

***

They received the news of the march two days before the Mongol army reached the border, so they had only enough time to dispatch two squadrons to reconvene with the soldier posted at the fortress before the army arrived.

Still, just hours within arrival, Shen Qingqiu was able to set up an array that was capable of capturing the flying creatures sent by the shaman from the opposing army.  

"How did you know that they were going to send those things?" Liu Qingge asked as they watched the deformed condor-like creatures struggle against the barrier array, falling like stones when archers started shooting them down.

"Liu Bo told me that the invaders would sometimes ride flying creatures cast by the shamans into battle," Shen Qingqiu answered him. "This pass is rocky and treacherous. If they wanted to make good time, they would rely on avian creatures."

"This is only the first wave," Liu Qingge noted, unsheathing his sword. "Your barrier will not last long enough."

"Yes, but it would buy us some time to set the second trap for the foot soldiers," Shen Qingqiu said.

"Then, I will go up front and lead the charge while you prepare," Liu Qingge said, trusting the advisor to do what was needed.

Shen Qingqiu stared after the Lieutenant General, surprised at not being questioned about his unspoken plans. If it was anyone else, he would be interrogated about his plans until he snapped.

The amount of trust Liu Qingge was putting on him...

Shen Qingqiu shook his head, reminding himself to focus on his task at hand. The second wave of soldiers should be arriving soon. In time to be ambushed from the sides of the embattlement.

And if they were lucky, they would be able to capture one of those annoying and evasive shamans.

***

"They escaped," Liu Bo reported.

Liu Qingge thinned his lips at that. The two shamans he had spotted standing at the back of the rival army had gotten away before he had even gotten close enough to get a good look at them.

Those shamans had been a thorn to their side for the longest time. Ever since they appeared beside the Mongol Khan's side, their progress in beating back the invaders had been continuously hindered. Their type of foreign magic was still a mystery to them and capturing one of them would greatly unveil many of their secrets.

He kicked the flying creature that had managed to get an attack in on him and was subsequently cut down by him. It flopped over, revealing a hideous countenance and Liu Qingge's lips curled in disgust. It had also, at one point, spouted fire at him. He pointed to the dead creature.

"Take this back," Liu Qingge instructed Liu Bo. "We'll see if we can garner anything from it."

"Yes, sir," his cousin said, picking up the large avian by the legs and dragging it away.

Liu Qingge spotted Shen Qingqiu not too far away, examining the corpses of the barbarians that had attempted to breach their defenses.

"Are you hurt?" was the first thing that came out of his mouth, though he had no idea why. Shen Qingqiu had stayed mostly at the back of the contingent, though he had fought alongside the others with his Xiu Ya sword. He wasn't defenseless, despite his slender appearance.

"I'm unharmed," Shen Qingqiu answered, before spotting something. "You, however, can't say the same."

"What do you- Oh," Liu Qingge noticed the deep scratch on his arm.

"You should have that looked at," Shen Qingqiu advised.

"The physicians will be too busy," Liu Qingge dismissed. "There are others more injured."

"Don't be stubborn," Shen Qingqiu said, grabbing his other arm. "That's your sword arm. You don't want it to be infected."

Liu Qingge thought of protesting but found no excuse to pull away as the advisor led him to the nearest medical room. As he suspected, the medics and physicians there were swamped with patients.

To his surprise though, instead of calling one of the medics, Shen Qignqiu let go of his hand and retrieved some medical supplies. Then he headed to a table, gesturing for Liu Qingge to sit down. Without explaining a single word, Shen Qingqiu ripped the sleeve of his shirt to expose the injury. He meticulously cleaned the wound, then started sewing the cut shut.

"I'm not good with healing techniques, so you will have to heal the common way," Shen Qingqiu said to him. "I'll make sure you don't scar too much. Though, I hear that the ladies find scars quite desirable these days."

Liu Qingge huffed at that, watching intently as Shen Qingqiu meticulously sew tiny stitches onto his torn flesh. Even the medics weren't so precise or meticulous.

"You are very good at this," Liu Qingge commented. By the time Shen Qingqiu was done, the line of thread on his skin would barely be visible and the resulting scars would probably be minimal.

"I'm used to embroidery," Shen Qingqiu answered dismissively, as if any of the wives of the nobles could do what he was doing so easily at the moment. Liu Qingge tried to imagine the spoilt daughter of the Qi family sewing an injury shut and not squealing over the blood and gore. He snorted in disbelief.

Shen Qingqiu frowned at him, obviously wondering why Liu Qingge was laughing at him.

"Just that, I don't think other wives or husband will compare embroidery to emergency stitches," Liu Qingge said.

Shen Qingqiu was silent for a while before he said, almost petulantly; "I know I'm odd, you don't have to rub it in."

"But odd is good," Liu Qingge answered, blinking. "Being unpredictable makes everything interesting."

Shen Qingqiu frowned at him before looking back down at his arm.

"So... odd is good," Liu Qingge repeated, voice trailing off.

Shen Qingqiu gave him a small shy smile though he didn't look back up.

But that was enough to make Liu Qingge's heart jump.

***

"I think there's something wrong with me," he admitted to his father upon returning to the garrison. Liu Fangzhao looked at him with something like pity and no small amount of annoyance.

"And why would you say that?" Liu Fangzhao asked his son.

"I- My heart- It jumps whenever I see Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge admitted, his face redder than a baboon's butt, in his father's opinion.

"Really...?" Liu Fangzhao asked mockingly. "What else? Does your heart race when you speak to him? Do you want to see him when he's not in front of you? Do you think of him often without prompting?"

Liu Qingge stared at him for a moment before asking, "How did you know all that?"

Liu Fangzhao returned his stare with a droll look.

"How did I end up with a stupid, clueless child like you?" Liu Fangzhao wondered aloud.

"Father!"

"You like him," Liu Fangzhao answered his unspoken question and Liu Qingge stared at him in disbelief.

"No," he denied, almost reflexively.

Liu Fangzhao didn't even grace him with an answer, smacking him right in the head for his thoughtless answer.

"Stupid boy. Why are you my son? Did all the brain cells go to Mingyan instead?"

"Father!"

Liu Fangzhao sighed, rubbing at his temples.

"Normally, I would advise against pursuing a divorcé," he said and Liu Qingge straightened up to frown at him. Before his son could say anything though, he lifted one hand.

"I'm not saying I won't support you if you choose to pursue him," Liu Fangzhao said. "But that child has been hurt enough. He will be guarded and dismissive of your interest in him. If that happens, whatever camaraderie you have right now will be affected."

Liu Qingge's hands tightened into fists.

"So I suggest you think very carefully on whether you want to pursue him," Liu Fangzhao said.

Liu Qingge thought for a while before nodding.

"...Yes, father."

*****

Liu Qingge didn't have time to mull over his conversation with his father because General Wei sent a message requesting reinforcement up north, so the garrison had to pack up and move.

As they travelled, Liu Qingge begin to notice Shen Qingqiu's constant presence no matter where he was, his awareness of him tingling at his senses even when the advisor said nothing and did nothing to attract his attention.

Shen Qingqiu kept to himself most of the time, examining the terrain that they passed and the weather above head. He would speak when spoken to but rarely initiated conversation. He liked to observe the soldiers and was especially fascinated when they spoke about the shamans and their brand of dark magic. Shen Qingqiu had been the first one to examine the creature that Liu Qingge brought back from the battle field and watched as they dissected it. There was nothing inside beyond blood, hair and melted organs but Shen Qingqiu seemed satisfied with what he learned anyway.

After watching him for months, Liu Qingge could understand why his father called Shen Qingqiu a true intellect, not just a scholar but someone who could think unconventionally and solve crises at the drop of a hat. By looking at the clouds, he could predict the weather to turn the tide of a battle to their favour. By learning about the flying creatures, he knew how to destroy them en-masse with just a single array. There seem to be very little that could confound Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge couldn't help but admire him for that.

In the beginning when he first arrived, the soldier were wary of him but with every victory they achieved, the soldiers begin to rally under his instructions without hesitation, trusting Shen Qingqiu to ensure their survival. It was heartening for Liu Qingge to witness it and it only affirmed Liu Qingge's resolution in bringing Shen Qingqiu here to the border.  

However, sometimes, when he thought that no one was watching, Shen Qingqiu would adopt a look of sadness and loss, a faraway gaze in his eyes as he stared at the full moon.

Seeing it made Liu Qingge angry, remembering what Yue Qingyuan had done to his ex-husband.

Rumour might have painted Shen Qingqiu as the one who was jealous and petty but Liu Qingge knew otherwise. That night, at the inn, Yue Qingyuan had been the one who was jealous. He had thought that Liu Qingge wanted to take Shen Qingqiu as his own husband, like all his other noble visitors. That was why he had been desperate to force Shen Qingqiu to return to the Yue Manor that night and the morning after, despite their divorced status.

Did Yue Qingyuan not understand that his actions reflected an abuse of his power and influence? Shen Qingqiu was no longer his husband, therefore, no longer under his authority to control. Just because he was a noble, it didn't mean he could just force Shen Qingqiu, who was effectively a commoner after the divorce, to return to the Yue Manor.

Liu Qingge couldn't imagine the amount of gossip generated after that fiasco. But it was the result of his brash actions, so Liu Qingge supposed Yue Qingyuan deserved the backlash of mockery that was bound to be circulating in the capital.

"Master Shen," Liu Qingge automatically offered his hand for the advisor and Shen Qingqiu's gloved hand slid into his. "We've arrived at the Wei army garrison."

"Thank you," Shen Qingqiu said after he slid down from his white mare. For a moment, while they were standing so close, Liu Qingge couldn't help but notice how the advisor was now less pale compared to when he first arrived with him to the border, which he attributed to exposure to the sun. Unfortunately, it seem as if the advisor had yet to gain weight, for he still felt light like a hollow-boned bird.

Shen Qingqiu let go of his hand and Liu Qingge found himself momentarily feeling the loss as his fingers curled into a fist.

"Master Shen!"

The both of them turned at the call.

Gongyi Xiao, one of General Wei's adjutant, was approaching them with a wide smile. Liu Qingge felt a spark of annoyance at the way his eyes was trained on Shen Qingqiu and the Vice General stepped forward.

"Lieutenant Colonel," Liu Qingge greeted and Gongyi Xiao saluted him as per protocol.

"Vice General Liu," greeted Gongyi Xiao his smile not faltering. "Thank you for coming."

"Mn," he replied, face impassive. He couldn't help but remember what the inn keeper had told him months ago when he'd approached Shen Qingqiu with the recruitment. Young as he was, Gongyi Xiao was also one of the suitors that had inappropriately approached a newly divorced man grieving his broken marriage.

As such, he was going to keep an eye on this Gongyi Xiao.

***

The intelligence they gathered indicated that the enemy encampment was actually split into two, one in plain sight and the other following the river. They were intending to attack simultaneously and the Wei army would have been overwhelmed if they hadn't discovered this information beforehand.

"Just like they have aerial sight by conjuring those flying creature, so do we. The spirit eagles reported the second army having reached the embankment," General Wei told them. "We need to strike as soon as we can. I was waiting for you to arrive so I can leave for the river first. Since your army has just arrived, you will need to rest and hold up the fort."

"That is sound. Our soldiers needs rest and the Mongol camp is watching the garrison," Shen Qingqiu agreed.

"Your vice general is still recovering from his injury, is he not?" Liu Fangzhao said to General Wei. "Take Qingge with you. He's itching to fight and would be of great help to you."

"I have Gongyi Xiao with me. But if you're sure you can hold the fort without your son-"

"Are you underestimating me!?" Liu Fangzhao demanded, looking offended. "I can still kick your ass in my old age, you know."

Liu Qingge made a face at his father's childish behaviour and from the corner of his eyes he could see Shen Qingqiu turning away while opening his fan to cover his face. Liu Qingge recognise it as a way for the advisor to hide his amusement.

Shen Qingqiu freely displayed his displeasure, disappointment and disgust on his face, much to the devastation of his soldiers whenever the advisor gave them such looks. It served to make them work harder to please their resident beauty. However, Shen Qingqiu also often hid positive emotions like enjoyment behind his fan and sleeves, as if it were a sign of weakness.  

It made Liu Qingge wonder what made Shen Qingqiu so guarded against freely showing his expressions.

***

The morning after they arrived at the Wei army garrison, Liu Qingge was given a fresh horse to set out with General Wei. But before Liu Qingge could get on his horse, Shen Qingqiu stopped him.

"I made something for you," the advisor said, turning to Ning Yingying who offered a scarf to him. It was a thick scarf made from the fur that Shen Qingqiu had acquired from the warehouse.

Liu Qingge didn't have the chance to take the scarf before Shen Qingqiu stepped forward to wrap it around his neck, tucking it neatly into his armour.

"Be careful," Shen Qingqiu said and Liu Qingge nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from the long thin fingers still on his armor.

"Qingge."

Liu Qingge looked over to his father as Shen Qingqiu stepped back and left to speak with General Wei.

"That was sweet," Liu Fangzhao commented and Liu Qingge's cheeks burned terribly at the reminder that everyone had been watching. He did his best to ignore his father as he got up on his horse.

"Qingqiu is really good at making winter clothing," Liu Fangzhao praised and Liu Qingge found himself nodding along. Then, he blinked when the name registered.

"You-"

"Like this vest," Liu Fangzhao boasted, patting his chest proudly, indicating the new cotton-padded vest lined with fur. "Qingqiu gifted it to me this morning. Such meticulous sewing. Ah, I wonder when I can call Qingqiu my son-in-law."

Liu Qingge nearly fell from his horse at that. Shen Qingqiu had sewn a vest for his father!? And he only got a scarf?

Son-in-law!???

"FATHER!"

Liu Fangzhao laughed so hard that even the soldiers at the end of the line could hear him.

Seriously, he had never laughed so hard before in his life. When Shen Qingqiu gave him a look of confusion and concern, he only laughed harder and nearly pulled a stitch at his side.

For his part, Liu Qingge didn't stop blushing until he completely lost sight of the encampment.

***

It was only a split second.

Shen Qingqiu knew that the Mongol shamans were watching the garrison.

He knew that they were aware that the encampment was fully fortified.

So he had no reason to think that they would launch a sudden attack. It was dishonorable and from what he had seen, even the Khan and his generals operated in a code of honour. Of course, he had made the unfortunate assumption that the shamans, coming from the desert lands, would share the same kind of morality.

It was his error.

Shen Qingqiu came out of his tent at the sound of emergency horn, with just his sword and no armour. His hair was unbound due to the late hour and he was barely dressed but he couldn't be concerned with any of that.

The army at their doorstep was what mattered most.

"Qingqiu! Duck!"

Shen Qingqiu was barely able to dodge the first arrow before the second came at a harrowing speed. He managed to cut it down before he dispatched two enemy soldiers, cutting deeply into their flesh and feeling the spray of warm blood on his cheek.

Liu Fangzhao appeared at his side suddenly, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, General, I-"

The third arrow made it's way into the general's back with a meaty slice.

Shen Qingqiu had barely enough time to register what was happening before a cacophony of sounds erupted in his ears.

"General!"

"General Liu!"

"Uncle!"

***

When the news arrived, Liu Qingge and General Wei was just wrapping up their side of the battle.

Without waiting for the messenger to finish, the Lieutenant General jumped on his horse to rush back to the garrison.

"Wait! Qingge! Get a new horse!" General Wei called out. "Yours is too tired out from the battle."

Without a reply, Liu Qingge jumped on his sword instead. He might be running low on qi reserve, but it would be faster by flight. Before General Wei could protest further, he flew off at breakneck speed.

His father was in critical condition and he was unable to be with him. Liu Qingge had never felt more like a useless son than now.

When he finally returned to the garrison, he jumped down and headed straight to his father's tent. Mu Qingfang, the attending physician, was coincidentally just coming out when he reached the entrance.

"Vice General," the physician greeted. "You've returned."

"How's my father?" Liu Qingge asked in lieu of a greeting, though Mu Qingfang did not seem offended by his brusqueness.

"He's doing better now," Mu Qingfang said. "He was in a critical condition when they brought him in but I've managed to stabilise his condition for now. I was a little worried about him the first night but he pulled through."

Liu Qingge felt something in his chest uncoiled at that news and he sighed with relief.

"Vice General, perhaps you can speak with Master Shen," Mu Qingfang said, looking concerned.

"What is it?" Liu Qingge asked, his brows furrowing again.

"He's been sitting with your father for three days straight," Mu Qingfang told him. "He's been attending to his every need since General Liu was injured. He needs to rest."

"He's... been sitting with father all this time?" Liu Qingge repeated in disbelief.

"Yes, he was there when General Liu was injured. According to Master Shen, General Liu was protecting him," Mu Qingfang replied. "It may be guilt Master Shen is feeling but I doubt that General Liu blames him for anything."

He doesn't, Liu Qingge was sure of it. But Shen Qingqiu would surely not listen to him even if he said it out loud.

"I'll speak to him," he promised the healer. When he lifted the flap to his father's tent, he saw Shen Qingqiu sitting by his father's bedside.

Four days ago, when he left with the Wei army to counter the enemy's secondary troop, Shen Qingqiu had smiled at him before his left.

Now, there was nothing on his face except sadness and loss again.

***

The general's condition did not get any better.

Though he pulled through the first night and the subsequent nights, he was still too weak, pale and listless. It wasn't long before Mu Qingfang suspected that he was cursed.

"An arrow cursed by a shaman," Mu Qingfang told them. "We don't know much about their practise so unless we get our hands on one of them, it's hard to undo what have been done."

"Understood," Shen Qingqiu said just as Liu Qingge slammed his fist on the table, frustrated and helpless.

Liu Qingge covered his face with his hands and Shen Qingqiu reached out, then hesitated. Even though he too was worried, he didn't know what he could do about it. It wasn't his place to comfort Liu Qingge and furthermore, it was his fault that General Liu became hurt.

If the general hadn't come looking for him...

If Liu Qingge blamed it on him...

Shen Qingqiu's heart lurched in pain but he told himself that it was alright. He was used to being blamed for unfortunate happenings.

"It isn't your fault."

Shen Qingqiu straightened, snapping out of his self-admonishment.

"My father protected you because he wanted to," Liu Qingge said, looking at him with sharp eyes. Flustered, Shen Qingqiu looked away.

"... he shouldn't have..."

The words were spoken so softly that Liu Qingge almost couldn't catch.

"He wanted to," Liu Qingge insisted. "Because you are his."

Shen Qingqiu blinked at him, surprised. 'His?'

"He considers his soldiers, the garrison, as his family. Including you," Liu Qingge said. "My father always said that our responsibility as general is to protect our family, our loved ones, each other. Otherwise, we are nothing more than mindless killing beasts."  

"So don't blame yourself," Liu Qingge said, looking at him without a single ounce of hesitation. "I don't blame you and neither does my father."

Shen Qingqiu stared at him for a moment with clear eyes.

Then he nodded, keeping those words near to his heart.

***

Shen Qingqiu had assumed that the Mongol army and their shamans would operate with shared values.

He was wrong.

It was not a mistake he would ever make again.

If they were going to resort to unscrupulous tactics like this...

...then Shen Qingqiu would not hold back either.

***

"Vice General! Master Shen has disappeared!"

"What!?" Liu Qingge stood up from his chair as a soldier rushed into the medical tent. Meanwhile, his father continued to slumber despite the noise.

"We were standing guard as usual at the tent but Master Shen didn't come out of his tent this morning to watch the morning drills," the soldier explained. "We didn't think much of it until we realise that even his servants never came to deliver meals. They always do, even when Master Shen doesn't eat. So we went into the tent but Master Shen wasn't there!'

Liu Qingge's mind raced a mile a minute but he couldn't firmly grasp at any thought at all until the words finally sunk in.

"He left this behind," the soldier said, handing him a note.

Liu Qingge read it and frown at the simple words.

Wait for the cue.  

***

Infiltrating the enemy's camp was simultaneously easy and difficult.

It didn't take long for him to get his hands on a servant's robes. Despite his recent lack of practice in thievery, Shen Qingqiu was crafty enough to pull it off even in a heavily guarded camp.

He wandered around for a while, looking for the tent belonging to the shamans, though he was cautious not to capture anyone's attention. However, before he could mentally map out the whole encampment, he was called away.

"Here. Send this to Lord Tudan," said the servant who called him. He handed Shen Qingqiu a tray of fruits and a goblet of water.

"Yes, sir," Shen Qingqiu said, bowing a little in deference. Without a moment of hesitation, he walked towards the general's tent, following the other servants carrying trays of meat. Any dawdling might clue the enemy in on Shen Qingqiu's intentions.

At the entrance, a guard checked his food and patted him down to check for weapons, though he didn't need to. Shen Qingqiu had entered the camp without any weapons, including Xiu Ya.

Sitting on a daybed was the general of the Mongol army. The Khan's right hand man, Lord Tudan, was a large man with brownish red hair. He looked to be double the size of Liu Qingge and appeared to be quite brutish, though his bluish green eyes were sharp and intelligent. Shen Qingqiu suppose that if one were to survive and thrive in the harsh lands of the west amidst bloodthirsty warriors, one would have to be both cunning and robust.

"Your water, my lord," Shen Qingqiu said demurely, kneeling beside the bed to place the goblet and bowl of fruits at the side table.

"I don't want water. I hate water. Bring me wine," the man snapped.

Shen Qingqiu nodded and made to leave but the lord caught his wrist as he was retrieving the tray.

"You're new," Lord Tudan commented with a frown. "Did you come with the new caravan?"

He was testing Shen Qingqiu. Despite his bright eye colour, Shen Qingqiu had more features that revealed him to be a citizen of the empire and not from the west. Furthermore, Shen Qingqiu knew that the enemy's garrison did not receive any new shipment or caravans since they arrived at the borders.

"No, my Lord," he answered, still looking down. "I was... recruited from the last village."

The last village that they plundered, he meant. The Liu army received news that three small villages had been decimated by the Mongol army before they arrived, pillaging any supplies, kidnapping the majority of the villages as slaves and slaughtering those they deemed unnecessary.

"Hm," the general hummed, still looking intently at his face. "Odd that I haven't seen you before."

"I was placed in the kitchens until today," Shen Qingqiu answered as he glanced shyly once at the lord from under his lashes.

"Hm," the general hummed, before pulling him down on the day bed and into his arms, "You'll stay with me tonight."

That quickly? Shen Qingqiu wondered fleetingly. It didn't matter if the lord was suspicious of him or not. All he needed was a second of carelessness and he would succeed in his mission.

"You're so light," Lord Tudan reveled, lifting him up easily by his waist. "Like a bird, like one of those birds of paradise. Lovely and weightless."

Shen Qingqiu folded his legs beneath him so the general could settle him on his lap. The man caressed his sides with large hands, cupping his bottom and leaning in to nuzzle his neck.

"Does it displease you, my lord? That I'm so thin and light," Shen Qingqiu asked, voice soft and meek.

The man hummed, smelling his hair. "No, not displeased at all."

He demonstrated it by reaching for Shen Qingqiu's belt. The sash slid off easily and Tudan threw him down on the day bed. The red head grinned at Shen Qingqiu's surprised gasp.

"Wait," Shen Qingqiu said, before the general could do more than strip off his pants. He smiled as he trailed his bare foot over the general's lap and onto his swollen groin. "Let me please you, my lord?"

"Tease," Lord Tudan rumbled, catching a hold onto his foot and rubbing it against his groin.

Shen Qingqiu had to swallow his disgust before his expression gave anything away. He pressed his foot down, pushing against the thick rod beneath the pants. Tudan groaned, and before he could recover to do more unsavory things to his foot, Shen Qingqiu leaned forward to push Tudan's shoulders down onto the bed. He climbed onto the redhead's lap, sitting directly on his groin.

"Let me please you," Shen Qingqiu repeated, a plea in his tone as he grinded down.

"You minx," groaned the general, grabbing Shen Qingqiu's hips. He could feel the soft skin beneath the loose robes and that only served to increase his anticipation.

"Shhh," Shen Qingqiu whispered, taking his sash and with a coquettish smile, slowly tied the general's wrist overhead. It was loose and the general knew that he could easily break out of it if he so much as exerted a little force. It was ridiculous that such a farce could excite him so much. No other bed partners he'd taken would be so bold like this young man, despite his demure air.

Shen Qingqiu lifted himself up and grinded down, moaning breathlessly to entice his target further. He traced the man's neck, chest, abdomen and up his own. His hands went up as he threw his head back. His hair came tumbling down as he pulled his hairpin off.

But before he could bring the hairpin down onto the general's chest, the man grabbed a hold of his wrist.

"What a pretty assassin," Tudan said, a wry smile on his lips. "Pity you didn't let me finish in you first."

Before Shen Qingqiu could say anything, he felt the world tilt as the Mongol general turned their position around, pinning Shen Qingqiu on the bed.

"But I suppose I can still get what I want," Tudan said, ripping his robes open. Shen Qingqiu glared up at him as the redhaired man grinned at him unrepentantly.

"You really are a beast, aren't you," Shen Qingqiu said, still calm as he counted in his head. Any time now...

"And you are a real beauty," Tudan replied with a grin.

Said grin disappeared when the Mongol general finally realised something was wrong. His tongue went numb, he had momentary double vision and his fingers became sluggish as he slumped forward. The young man he thought was an assassin heaved him onto the bed with a strength belying his lithe stature.  

"Thank you for the compliment," Shen Qingqiu said, flicking his hair over his shoulder haughtily. "But beastly men are not my type."

The red-haired man glared at him with no effect as Shen Qingqiu straighten his robes and hair, binding his hair up with the decoy hairpin. He retrieved the small poisoned needle he'd pricked into the Mongol general's neck and slid it back into his sleeve.

"An eye for an eye," Shen Qingqiu said to the paralysed general, a smirk on his face. "Now, we'll have to negotiate for antidotes, don't we?"

*****

Shen Qingqiu hummed softly as he wrapped the garrote around the Mongol general's neck.

The end of the thin wire was attached to his own wrist, a safety rope so to speak or a leash to a dangerous mutt. The shamans and soldiers might kill him even without the antidote but the obvious threat to their general's life would stay their sword.

"I am not afraid of death," Tudan said, his voice rumbling under Shen Qingqiu's hands.

"Neither am I," Shen Qingqiu agreed easily. "But we both share the same fear, don't we?"

He leaned down to coyly whisper into the general's ear, "The fear of failure."

"Imagine what your Khan will say if you return a paralysed man? Such a disappointment you'd be," Shen Qingqiu mocked. "A great warrior general reduced to nothing but a vegetable. Such a waste."

"I didn't think that the imperial army would resort to hostage taking," Tudan said, his tone almost amused despite his dire situation. If Shen Qingqiu wasn't preserving his life to save General Liu's, then he wouldn't have hesitated at all to cut the man's throat.  

"Oh, honestly" Shen Qingqiu said, taking a seat on his lap comfortably like he was a doted concubine. At least this time, there are no pillars poking into his thigh. "You really didn't see this coming? After all, you were the ones who started this."

He smiled coquettishly. "So I'm the one who will end it."

Tudan looked at him for a moment before he grinned, "You really are fearless."

"I told you. I'm not afraid of death," Shen Qingqiu said with a shrug. "I walked into this camp knowing I might not leave it. But it's a gamble I'm willing to take to protect the people I care about."

"Now then, shall we begin?" Shen Qingqiu said, taking out his silk fan. "Call your shamans."

***

The shamans came along with two guards and none of them reacted to Shen Qingqiu's threat well.

One of the soldiers actually lifted his spear, as if he was about to impale Shen Qingqiu, who was still sitting atop Tudan's lap. If Shen Qingqiu just shifted a little, Tudan would be the one who would be impaled and considering the general's paralysis, it was a sure thing if the idiot did attack first without thinking.

Fortunately for everyone involved, the other soldier stopped the spear-wielding idiot.

"Stop! You will kill the General! Look at what is on his neck!" the soldier shouted, taking the spear away.

"Correct," Shen Qingqiu said with a satisfied smile. "Even if you managed to stab me, all I have to do if channel a small amount of qi into the wire and your great general's head will fall with my body."

"What do you want?" asked the soldier, who was clearly the second-in-command.

"Remove the curse," he replied, turning his gaze to the two shamans.

"We cannot," answered the shaman. "There is no reversing the curse."

"Is that so?" Shen Qingqiu said, opening his fan. "So then, your General can die with my General. I think that would be fair."

"Wait! No!" exclaimed the second-in-command.

"Do it," Tudan said suddenly. Shen Qingqiu could feel minor movements beneath him as the general attempted to move his limbs and surmised that Tudan would be regaining full functionality soon.

He needed to speed things up.

"We cannot do that," the shaman claimed, but Shen Qingqiu heard the short moment of hesitation and saw the twitching in the man's fingers.

Making a quick decision, he threw his fan.

It rotated in a wide arch, spinning around one of the soldiers and before the Mongols could react, the first shaman's throat split open, spilling blood across the floor.

"Then, I'll just kill the both of you," Shen Qingqiu said, retrieving his blood-splattered fan when it spun back to him.

"If you kill us both, you will never find the cure to his curse," the remaining shaman said quickly.

"From your stubbornness, I can garner that you won't tell me how to reverse the curse," Shen Qingqiu said, touching the bloody edge of his silk fan. It was one of his favourite fans, but it wasn't a loss at all, since it was gifted to him by Yue Qingyuan. "Either way my general will still die."

"So I will just make sure that the two of you will accompany him to his grave as tribute," Shen Qingqiu promised, his green eyes shining bright above his red-edged fan.

The shaman swallowed.

"So what will it be? Sure, instant death? Or a possibility of survival?"

There was another moment of hesitation that made Shen Qingqiu sighed with annoyance.

"Now you're just being a pain," he complained. "Very well. Since you want to make things difficult for me. Then I'll just return the headache to you."

Just as he said that, a loud boom outside the tent could be heard.

"FIRE! The armory is on fire!"

"Get water!"

"Oh, don't worry, it's just a little gift to keep your soldiers busy," Shen Qingqiu told Tudan and the other occupants of the tent. Then another two consecutive booms could be heard.

"The food carts are on fire too!" The screaming outside continued.

"FIRE!"

Shen Qingqiu tsked, "So noisy."

He turned back to the shaman, "Well? Should I just kill you?"

"If you kill me, the curse cannot be removed!" said the shaman in a desperate bid to control the situation.  

Shen Qingqiu watched him for a while before he said, "Lie."

The shaman reeled back in surprised, "How did you-?"

"For one thing, when I killed your little friend there, you said nothing of that sort," Shen Qingqiu explained. "If your deaths will not remove the curse and instead ensured its permanency, then you would have boasted about it after his death."

"That's what you Mongols like to do, am I right? My Lord?" Shen Qingqiu asked Tudan with a wry smile. Without waiting for an answer, he continued, "And like I said, if my general is to die either way, then at least I'd have avenged him."

Shen Qingqiu waved the fan at the remaining shaman.

"So choose wisely, Shaman. For it might be the last thing you decide."

***

Mu Qingfang and all those keeping vigil at General Liu Fangzhao's side knew immediately the moment the curse ended when the ailing general's paleness and the stench of death emitting from him receded. His complexion became normal again in a matter of seconds and his laboured breath became deeper and calmer.

"Sir?" called Mu Qingfang and the general groaned. "Sir, please answer me."

The general mumbled something that Mu Qingfang and the others couldn't catch.

"What is it, old friend?" General Wei asked, leaning in.

"Voices," Liu Fangzhao moaned. "I heard voices."

"Who, sir?" asked Gongyi Xiao.

"My son's," the general groaned, opening his eyes. "And- Qingqiu? Where's Qingqiu?"

"Where's my advisor?"

***

"Before you go," Tudan said, staring at Shen Qingqiu as he lengthened the wire so that he could make his escape through the doorway. He'd made the soldier and the shaman leave before executing his plan. "What is your name?"

Shen Qingqiu didn't bother to answer him as he finally released his grip on the man's neck. Before the man could grab him, he slid out from his reach and those of the soldiers milling about near the tent. They nearly managed to block his route when a glowing white sword sliced right through between them.

Without missing a beat, Shen Qingqiu jumped on Xiu Ya and weaved across the encampment. He leaned down and grabbed the hand raised up towards him. Ning Yingying, dressed as a maid of the Mongol army, whooped as her master hoisted her up onto his sword behind her. She had been the one to smuggle the sword with her into the encampment, since the soldiers had a tendency to underestimate the female servants. She'd also been the one who planted the explosives and triggered them at the right time to provide distractions to the soldiers.  

"Stop him! He has the antidote!"

Shen Qingqiu took out a package and dispersed its content into the wind with a swing of his fan. The powder caused their skin to burn though there would be no physical damage. If it happened to get into their eyes, it would sting a thousand times over.

Outside the Mongol encampment, sitting on a tree and watching his master fly across the sky, Ming Fan shot a flare into the sky.

***

"That's the signal," Liu Qingge said, looking up at the sky.

He signaled to his soldiers, all dressed in black to travel in the cover in the dark of the night.  

"Let's move out!"

***

"How could you have let them escape!" the shaman shouted at the soldiers.

General Tudan, who was now lying on the daybed, wriggled his fingers and toes, feeling the numbness receding slowly. The paralytic drug has run its course so it was only the poison left that they needed to attend to.  

"General! The imperial army is marching towards us!" one of his soldier burst into the tent.

Tudan sat up in surprise, gritting his teeth when currents went through his limbs at the sudden movement. "What!? Now!? That little minx!"

"They're almost here!"

Tudan grabbed his sabre but collapsed onto the ground as dizziness overtook him. His legs had given out and his insides felt as if it was squirming within him.

"General!"

"My Lord!"

"It must the poison!"

Nearly hurling from the wave of vertigo, Tudan waved at his second-in-command, who turned around and exited the tent. Tudan leaned back on the daybed, anticipating a terrible loss for his army that night.

He laughed to himself, at wit's end.

This was not how he anticipated the night to go when he gave the shamans the order to curse the general.

What was it that the minx said? Turn about is fair play?

"Really," he muttered to himself, letting his head fall back. "I've lost."

***

Three days later, the recovering General Tudan received a missive from the Liu army.

'Drink plenty of water. The paralytic poison should be out of your system by now but the water might help with your halitosis.'

Tudan didn't know whether he should feel insulted or amused by the missive, so he settled with laughing aloud, much to the confusion of his warriors.

There was no bloody poison at all! That minx had used that as a ploy to blackmail him and his shamans! Unbelievable! The gall of that- that minx!

"Shen Qingqiu, huh," he said, taking a sip of water from his goblet. "The advisor of Liu army. How interesting."

He touched his lips, remembering the soft lips and the smell of sandalwood incense.

"I want to see him again."

***

It was afternoon by the time Shen Qingqiu returned to his tent. He was still dressed in the servant clothes he had pilfered from the Mongol camp and his hair was a mess from flying through the night.

The first thing he'd done upon arriving at the camp was to ensure that the curse on General Liu was removed. If it didn't, he would have marched back to the enemy's camp right there and then to kill the other shaman he'd so mercifully spared.

But when he'd arrived at the camp, the older man had berated him for running off without telling anyone of his plans.

"Qingge was the only one who seem to understand what you wrote," complained General Wei. "The moment he read the message you left behind, he immediately called upon his troops and departed in the dark."

"Hmph, of course," Liu Fangzhao boasted, sounding like himself once more. "The two of them have worked together for months. They know each other like the back of their hands."

Those words made Shen Qingqiu feel pleased and at the same time embarrassed, though he couldn't deny what General Liu said.

Liu Qingge had come in time to stop the enemy from pursuing him and Ning Yingying, as well as allow Ming Fan to make his escape. They had not reconvened as Shen Qingqiu headed straight back to the Wei garrison, trusting Liu Qingge to retreat or defeat Tudan's army. Given the condition of the Mongol general, Shen Qingqiu wouldn't be surprised if he sat out this outright attack on his camp. And without the renown general, the Mongol troop in question would be running helter-skelter like a chicken without a head.

With a smirk, Shen Qingqiu threw off the stolen robes and stepped into his tub, sighing as he sunk into the hot water. It was a luxury to have hot baths here in the garrison, but he figured that after that successful mission, he deserved it.

Feeling clean and sleepy after his bath, Shen Qingqiu dressed himself in his inner robes, the fatigue finally seeping into his bones. He hadn't slept well in days and was feeling as if he could drop off into slumber at any moment.

But before he could climb into his bed, the flap to his tent was thrown wide open.

"Shen Qingqiu!"

"Vice Gene-!"

Liu Qingge wrapped his arms around him, enveloping him in a tight embrace. The heat from the vice general made Shen Qingqiu keenly aware of the warmth emanating from the warrior. Liu Qingge always seem to burn hot, whether it was emotionally or physically.

Unbidden, Shen Qingqiu could also feel his cheeks heat up from the embrace, which felt far more intimate than him sitting on Tudan's lap while acting like a coy courtesan.

"I thought you'd never make it back," Liu Qingge admitted, his face buried in Shen Qingqiu's nape, tickling the fine hairs on the back of his neck. "I thought I would be too late."

"Vice- Liu Qingge," Shen Qingqiu whispered, face a bright red as his heart raced within his chest.

"You're so stubborn!" Liu Qingge complained in his ear, not hearing his embarrassed mumble. "Why didn't you tell me what you were planning! I could have helped you!'

"You would have tried to stop me!" Shen Qingqiu snapped back in return. However, Liu Qingge did not let go of him.

"Of course I would!" Liu Qingge shouted. "I wouldn't have let you endanger yourself like that!"

"Let me?" Shen Qingqiu repeated, pushing Liu Qingge's chest to break their embrace. "You don't own me! You don't tell me what to do!"

"Of course not! That's not what I meant and you know it!" Liu Qingge said back to him vehemently. "I just don't want you to endanger yourself just because you think no one cares for you! I care for you! My father cares for you too!"

"So what? That doesn't mean that I belong to you and need your permission to do anything," Shen Qingqiu said, bristling with anger. "You might be my commanding superior but-"

"I'm not saying this because I'm your commanding officer! I'm saying that I care for you!" Liu Qingge said, holding onto his shoulders. "Because I like you!"

Shen Qingqiu stared at him in disbelief, not believing his ears. Did Liu Qingge really just-?

"This-this is inappropriate," he settled with saying instead, unsure how to process his thoughts.

Liu Qingge's frowning face turned completely red when his eyes wandered downwards, finally registering that he'd caught Shen Qingqiu dressed in nothing but his sleeping robes, with his dark unbound hair cascading down his back...

The vice general turned away, swallowing hard. Even his ears had turn bright red and the sight of it made Shen Qingqiu wonder briefly how far the blush went.

"Ahem. I apologise for barging into your tent unannounced," Liu Qingge coughed out, before practically fleeing from Shen Qingqiu's tent.

Shen Qingqiu sighed, putting a hand over his eyes tiredly.

"Fuck this. I need sleep," he said, turning to his bed, determined to ignore this new problem in favor of rest.

***

Unfortunately, sleep evaded him.

Possibly because he was overly tired or... it might be because the words 'I like you!' kept circling in his mind over and over again until it culminated to Shen Qingqiu putting his covers over his face and screaming in frustration (and no small amount of embarrassment).

Why? Why did Liu Qingge tell him this? Why was he so earnest all the damn time!?

Why was he-?

Why was he always... so good to him?

Shen Qingqiu didn't deserve this. His regards. His respect. His kindness.

His love.

Shen Qingqiu knew full well what an undeserving person he was. Wicked. Cruel. Unpleasant.

Unlovable.

Everyone said so. Repeatedly.

Even the person who had known him all his life, who'd sworn to love him for all eternity couldn't love him for more than ten years.

Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes, burying his face into the fur that Liu Qingge had asked Liu Bo to give him to warm his bed. Fur from the brown bear that Liu Qingge himself had hunted and skinned. He swallowed the lump in his throat and reassured himself that it wouldn't last.

It wouldn't take long before Liu Qingge fell out of love with him too.

He was sure of it.

****

Shen Qingqiu was avoiding him.

If someone were to ask his family, they would say that Liu Qingge not the most aware person when it came to romantic pursuits. And sure enough, it took him three days to realise that Shen Qingqiu was actively trying to avoid being alone in the same room with him.

This frustrated Liu Qingge so much that he started going out hunting whenever he couldn't find Shen Qingqiu.

"Can't find Master Shen again, huh?" Liu Bo asked with a sympathetic tone, prompting Liu Qingge to give him a glare. "Uh, maybe I should-"

Before Liu Bo could make a run at the first sign of his bad mood, Liu Qingge grabbed his shoulder and frog-marched his protesting cousin out of the camp.

"We're going hunting!"

"Again!? The warehouse is going to overload with meat and fur soon!"

"Shut up! Move!"

***

It was infuriating to be honest. To be treated like this. Though he tried not to show it, it wasn't always successful.

"Master Shen is really admirable," Gongyi Xiao said, smiling at the advisor during the banquet celebrating General Liu's recovery. "Ever since you came, we've managed to push General Tudan into a retreat."

"Yes, no matter what we do, that man is always fearlessly advancing," General Wei commented. "It's the first time I've ever seen the Khan's right hand man doing something like this."

"Yes, I'm so glad Master Shen didn't settle with just marrying someone," Liu Qingge couldn't help but say snidely. Beside him, Liu Fangzhao snorted tea out of his nose.

Shen Qingqiu turned to give Liu Qingge an odd look before the advisor reached out to pat the coughing Liu Fangzhao on the back.

Liu Qingge turned away, cheeks heating up from his lost of control. He'd never been so... rude before, not like this at any rate, but it's been days since his -ahem- confession about his feelings to Shen Qingqiu and they still haven't addressed it. It felt as if there was a tension between them that filled the air with a toxic miasma. It was making him feel suffocated and uneasy.

It was fine if his father or General Wei was with them, but as soon as they were alone, Shen Qingqiu would find reason to leave the room, leaving Liu Qingge to feel as if he was the only person feeling anxious about their relationship.

Relationship? What relationship?

As far as Shen Qingqiu was concerned, they had no relationship other than a work-related one. Perhaps the divorcé would prefer that but Liu Qingge wasn't one to deny his own heart, nor was he the type to silently pine after Shen Qingqiu.

Liu Qingge was always called abrasive and blunt so it really shouldn't surprise Shen Qingqiu that by the third week of his confession, the vice-general finally couldn't take it anymore. He tried several times to corner the advisor but he proved to be as slippery as an eel. It was no wonder the Mongol general didn't manage to catch Shen Qingqiu even when he had him so close at hand.

Finally, when Shen Qingqiu was returning to his tent one night, Liu Qingge confronted him by barging into his living quarters once more. It was extremely rude of him to do so twice but he opined that it was rude of Shen Qingqiu to keep avoiding him as well.

"If you want to reject me, then just do it. Don't avoid me," Liu Qingge said in lieu of an explanation on why he intruded on Shen Qingqiu's privacy.

"Liu Qingge! Why do you keep coming in without announcing yourself first? Or knocking? Ever heard of knocking? I'm sure your father has taught you that before. General Liu always knocks-"

"Don't change the subject," Liu Qingge interrupted firmly and Shen Qingqiu clammed his mouth shut at the look on the vice-general's face.

"Fine. I don't want to accept your feelings," Shen Qingqiu said decisively. "Crushes like this will fade away eventually. Why engage in it at all if it will lead to nothing but heartache and misery?"

"Heartache..." Liu Qingge stopped, understanding suddenly why Shen Qingqiu was so adamant on ignoring his confession.

"We have a good working relationship. One that is beneficial to both of us. Crossing the line will lead to nothing but trouble," Shen Qingqiu continued, looking away. "Already the air between us has changed."

"I don't regret it."

"What?" Shen Qingqiu involuntarily looked at him, confused.

"I don't regret confessing to you about my feelings," Liu Qingge repeated. "I like you. It's not going to change. I'm not a fickle person."

Shen Qingqiu glared at him, catching the hint of criticism towards his ex-husband.

"I've only ever liked three dishes that my mother cooks for me when I return to the capital. Only those three dishes. All my life. Even though I am not a picky eater," Liu Qingge said, apropos to nothing. "I've only ever favoured one type of weapon, though I've mastered the bow, the scimitar and the halberd. I've only ever like one shirt, worn till it's threadbare and even then, I refused to let my mother throw it away. I've also only ever-"

"What is your point!?" Shen Qingqiu asked, bewildered.

"My point is, even if it will take ten years, twenty years, I will still be firm with my decision," Liu Qingge announced. "I will only ever like you. Because all my life, I have never fallen for anyone, except you."

Shen Qingqiu, known in the capital for having a silver tongue, was completely speechless at the impassioned words. "If you don't believe me, I will prove it to you. Your contract with us is for five years, or until the empire has defeated the Mongols," Liu Qingge said. "Before your term ends, I will dedicate myself in showing you that every word I utter is completely true."

"And how are you going to do that?" Shen Qingqiu questioned.

"Let me court you," Liu Qingge said and before Shen Qingqiu could deny him, he continued. "Let me have the opportunity to prove myself to you. If by the end of your term, you are unsatisfied with me, then I will let you go as per our contract."

Shen Qingqiu stared at him in disbelief. Then he asked, "And if I say no to courtship?"

Liu Qingge looked down, his face falling.

"Then I will leave you be," he promised, already expecting the worse.

When the silence from Shen Qingqiu continued, Liu Qingge looked back up, hopeful.

"Things have already changed between us," Shen Qingqiu lamented. "Whether I say yes or no, things have already changed."

"Yes," Liu Qingge acknowledged. "The moment I started falling for you, I knew that nothing would be the same again."

Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes, feeling the sadness overwhelm him again. If he said no, then Liu Qingge would suffer from his unrequited feelings and Shen Qingqiu would be left with an awkward working relationship with his superior. If he said yes, Shen Qingqiu would be obliged to humour Liu Qingge's attempts at courting his fractured heart. However, at least then Liu Qingge would not be distracted from the war because of his unrequited crush.

"Very well," Shen Qingqiu agreed. "I agree to your terms."

Liu Qingge's face lit up at his answer and he stepped forward. He said, "I promise to do my best to prove my worth."

"However," Shen Qingqiu continued, interrupting the vice-general's heartfelt words. "Once the term ends, I will be free to leave if I so choose to."

"Yes, of course," Liu Qingge said smiling widely. "And I will also personally see to it that all your terms are met. Whether our courtship is successful or not."

"Good," Shen Qingqiu said. "Then I will hold you to that promise, Vice-General Liu."

***

Just like that, Liu Qingge set out to be the most ridiculous (doting) suitor he'd ever seen. Regularly bringing him the choice meats, ensuring that Shen Qingqiu would always have sweet treats by insisting on the import of sugar to their fort or garrison, providing him with furs and silks on a seasonal basis and always setting his tent closest to him and his father for protection.

To make matters worse, Shen Qingqiu discovered that General Liu and Liu Bo was silently (and not so silently) backing (cheering) Liu Qingge on, doing their best to accommodate Liu Qingge's ridiculous demands.

It spiralled so much that at one point Liu Qingge wanted to learn how to make sweet bean pastry for him but ended up wasting a bag of flour because Liu Bo decided to instigate a food fight. The scene was almost comical, with the flour covered Liu Qingge and his second-in-charge sitting down on the ground while Shen Qingqiu scolded them for wasting military resources as General Liu watched on from the sideline with a barely suppressed smile.

And despite it all, Shen Qingqiu didn't have the heart to completely reject the vice-general.

The next day after the incident, the disheartened vice-general returned to his tent after a skirmish to find a plate of sweet bean pastry waiting for him. The silent offering was more than enough to encourage Liu Qingge to try again. Except this time, with less... enthusiasm.

Shen Qingqiu was the type to appreciate less ostentatious gestures of affection anyway. His thin skin wouldn't have it any other way.

So, after some (lengthy) discussion with his father, Liu Qingge set out to be the most attentive suitor he could be. Bringing an extra cloak for Shen Qingqiu when the weather was cold. Making sure that Shen Qingqiu had eaten and was getting enough sleep. He'd regularly ask Ning Yingying to ensure that her master retire early and even gave her pocket money to get whatever she needed to make soup and congee for Shen Qingqiu.

Ning Yingying made sure to report everything back to him and Shen Qingqiu could feel his face heat up every time she did.

That man can be so ridiculous! Shen Qingqiu was an adult! He can take care of himself.

Still, despite all his foolishness, never once did Liu Qingge overstep his boundary or forget that he was the vice-general when the situation called for it. On the battlefield, Liu Qingge never treated him any differently as he did before their courtship begin and Shen Qingqiu wouldn't want it any other way.

As the months passed and the seasons changed, Shen Qingqiu felt his heart slowly but surely thaw towards the eager and sincere gestures, and before long, the whole encampment knew that they were courting.

By the third year of Shen Qingqiu's term at the borders, everyone in the Liu encampment knew that where one of them would be, the other would be present too. And if one wasn't present, the other would surely know where he was.

"Master Shen," called out Liu Bo as he peeked into the advisor's office. "Do you know where my cousin is?"

"He's at the armoury," Shen Qingqiu answered without looking up from his paperwork.

"I already went there. He's not there," Liu Bo replied.

"Then try the second warehouse. He mentioned something about the year-end inventory," Shen Qingqiu said, still not looking up.

"Oh, okay. Thank you, brother-in-law," Liu Bo said before disappearing to find his older cousin.

It took Shen Qingqiu a minute before the title registered in his head.

What!?

***

For a while, everyone in the station wondered when the wedding would take place. Would the couple be tying their nuptials on the battleground? Would they wait for the five year term to end and return to the capital to have an official ceremony?

There was even a (somewhat) illegal betting pool on what would be the catalyst for the marriage to happen and when it would actually take place.

(In the soldiers' defense, there were very little entertainment to be had in the middle of no where. They had to get their kicks from somewhere and it was the first time they had ever seen their no-nonsense Vice-General Liu being so lovesick over someone. Just because they weren't allowed to tease him to his face about it didn't mean that they couldn't derive some entertainment out of it.)

Though he wouldn't admit it even at sword point, Liu Bo himself put a hefty amount in the pool for their wedding to be officialised at the end of their term, mostly because he suspected that Master Shen was too professional to cross their boundaries without fulfilling his contract first.

Sadly for Liu Bo and the majority of the betting pool, they were mistaken.

Probably because none of them expected General Tudan to be the catalyst of their union.

***

After being greatly humiliated by his defeat and the loss of one of the Mongol shamans, General Tudan was severely reprimanded by his Khan and it took a while for him to prove himself worthy to return to the battlefield. When he returned, the battles became fiercer than before, forcing Shen Qingqiu to resort to less than savory tactics.

Once, before the Mongol reinforcement army could reach the borders, Shen Qingqiu sent out a nest of succubi that he'd contracted to lure in the group of warriors. Liu Qingge might have thought to protest when he found out after the fact, but he'd resolutely held back his criticism when none of the survivors actually made it to the battlefront. Though he did not witness it, Liu Qingge was pretty sure that Tudan was hopping mad when he found out that his reinforcement was diverted by a bunch of sexual demons.

Whenever the Mongol general came up with a scheme to divert their army or split their forces, Shen Qingqiu would return the gesture tenfold, throwing the Mongol encampment into a disarray. It came to the point that the Liu army soldiers actually took great pleasure to seeing what their advisor and tactician would resort to in order to teach the Mongol army some humility.

Unfortunately, during a battle between the two armies, General Tudan took the opportunity to capture Shen Qingqiu when Liu Qingge and Liu Fangzhao was distracted by the flying creatures that ambushed them suddenly from behind the cliff shelf.

"Qingqiu!"

The twin shouts permeated the chaotic battlefield and Shen Qingqiu only had time to shout for Liu Qingge before he was taken away. The last thing he saw of his vice-general was the flying creature diving down with its claws extended towards Liu Qingge's back.

"Let go of me! Qingge!" Shen Qingqiu shouted, but the Mongol general fended off the other soldiers easily with his sabre while carrying Shen Qingqiu under his other arm, as if he was just a sack of rice that wasn't struggling as hard as the advisor was. Shen Qingqiu knew that Mongol people were amazing horsemen, but he had to admit that the ease in which Tudan was maneuvering his horse was ridiculous.  

When they returned to the Mongol encampment, Shen Qingqiu made sure to slap the Mongol general across the face for his kidnapping.

Judging from the way Tudan had taken care with capturing him, he wasn't about to kill Shen Qingqiu without cause. And a slap wasn't cause enough for the calculative Mongol general to fold into his more murderous tendencies.

But it did give Shen Qingqiu a little satisfaction though. Even when he was grabbed by the general's henchmen and had his wrists bound with an Immortal Binding Rope, which was probably provided by the (remaining) shaman.

"I know that you are upset that I've interrupted our little repartee on the battlefield," General Tudan said, not bothering to look offended by the slap that left his cheek reddened. Shen Qingqiu hadn't held back and the Mongol general would definitely feel offended if he did.

"But I am at the end of my patience. I want you by my side. If you marry me, I will ensure your safety," Tudan said, gesturing to a slave holding up a tray. On it was an elaborate robes befitting a mongol bride and matching accessories.

Shen Qingqiu glared at him, unmoved.

"So you'd choose death?" Tudan asked, looking unhappy with his reticence. "Very well, I will help you with that."

Another maid came to the forefront, bearing a goblet of wine.

"Poisoned wine," Tudan said. "Choose one of these by the time I return or I will choose for you."

Shen Qingqiu glared at his back venomously as he left the tent. Then he turned his glare to the two maids left behind, daring them to make a move towards him.

***

Liu Qingge had to be held down by his father and cousin as Mu Qingfang stitched his back.

The flying creatures that ambushed them had managed to claw his back open when Liu Qingge caught sight of Tudan capturing Shen Qingqiu. The distraction nearly killed him and after he'd decimated the unholy creatures in his rage, he had been adamant in storming the Mongol encampment even with his copiously bleeding injury.

"Stay still!" his father reprimanded him. "If you want to save Qingqiu, you have to let Healer Mu close your wound first or you'll bleed to death before you reach him."

"Xiu Ya..." Liu Qingge groaned as Mu Qingfang dug the needle into his back again. The injury was too deep to heal and would split open again if he were to attack the Mongol encampment without the security of the stitches.

"We found it," Liu Bo answered him, still holding his legs down. "You really should have taken the painkillers."

"No, will be too groggy," Liu Qingge said, braving through the pain. "Have to go save Qingqiu."

"Don't you worry about him," his father berated him, pushing down on his shoulders firmly. "Qingqiu is a hundred times smarter than you. He'll be fine."

"Qingqiu. Qingqiu," Liu Qingge whispered, out of his mind from pain and heartache.

"He's waiting for me."

***

"Have you decided?"

Shen Qingqiu didn't bother looking towards his direction, sitting on the bed like a statue.

"Shall I choose for you?" Tudan asked, taking off his riding gloves. Behind him, three other servants were preparing to hold down the general's future spouse to change him into the wedding ensemble.  

"Don't bother," Shen Qingqiu answered, turning to the maid with the goblet.

"You-! You'd rather chose death!?" Tudan's second-in-charge shouted in offense but the general raised a hand to halt him.

"Honourable, as always," Tudan said, looking wistful.

"Qingge," Shen Qingqiu whispered before tilting the wine into his mouth.

Rather than another heartache, better to end it all.

***

It wasn't long before the drug took effect and Shen Qingqiu realised what was happening.

Tudan had waited at the door of the tent, waving his men away and sitting opposite of him, as if waiting for him to die. But when the heat rose and his skin prickled at the way Tudan was staring at him, Shen Qingqiu knew immediately that he'd made a mistake.

He'd foolishly believed Tudan when he said that the wine was poisoned.

Rather than poisoned, it was actually drugged.

"You-! You!" Shen Qingqiu swayed, unable to get off the bed without falling to the ground.

"When I captured you today, I promised myself that I would make you mine no matter what," Tudan said, getting up from his chair. He untied his robe, revealing his chest. There was a large scarred over gash going diagonally across it. "My Khan was quite unhappy with me after you murdered one of my shaman. He gave me this."

"Then, kill me," Shen Qingqiu demanded, pushing away when the general came closer to him. He couldn't even walk properly by the time the general caught his waist, pulling him onto his lap as he settled onto the bed.

"Why would I kill someone who can single-handedly bring an entire army to heel?" Tudan asked, undoing Shen Qingqiu's hair gently and letting the glossy locks tumble down his back. "Once I marry you, I will bring you back to my Khan as a gift. Our very own advisor who is a cultivator that is of equal value to our shaman. More even, with your inside knowledge and quick wit, you can succeed where we couldn't for years. Infiltrate the borders into the very heart of the empire."

"Even if you find a way back to your empire, once it is known that you wed a Mongol General, you will never be trusted again," Tudan said, untying Shen Qingqiu belt. "You will be called a traitor. Better if you stay by my side and be my advisor instead."

"I'd rather die," Shen Qingqiu gritted out, feeling his focus float away momentarily as Tudan disrobed him, leaving him only in his underobes. Then the general grabbed the ceremonial garb that was left behind by the maids and wrapped it around his shoulders. Then, he tied the thick elaborate belt around Shen Qingqiu's waist to hold the robes shut.

"As much as I would like to sample you right now, we have to perform the ceremony tonight," Tudan said. "Then we can enjoy our first night as a married couple."

"You-" Shen Qingqiu lisped, held up by the general as his head lolled to the side. His eyes couldn't even focus on the asshole's face, how the Mongol idiot expected him to do the three bows with him was beyond Shen Qingqiu.

Unfortunately for Shen Qingqiu, he failed to account that this was not a normal wedding ceremony, rather a bride-snatching attempt. Tudan put him on a pure white horse, not his own mare but a large muscular beast rather akin to a monstrous beast than an actual horse. The rolling of the muscles beneath him actually made Shen Qingqiu feel nauseous and he had to close his eyes in order not to hurl.

"This is part of my wedding gift to you, Qingqiu," Tudan promised as he led him towards the ceremonial grounds prepared by the shaman. "This one is the king of the wild horses that roam our plains, tamed by the hand of yours truly. I will send an appropriate bride price to the Liu camp once we've consummated our first night."

"Shut-," Shen Qingqiu clammed his mouth shut as another wave of nausea swept through him. Then he gritted out, "Shut up."

Tudan laughed, "Still so fiesty. You know, I never stopped thinking about you since you left my bed. I can't even bed anyone else without thinking about you."

The general reached up and lifted a lock of Shen Qingqiu's hair. He kissed it and rubbed the silky strands on his cheek.

"I missed the smell of your hair, the touch of your smooth skin, your weight on my lap and the caress of your beautiful voice," the obsessed man said, smiling besottedly at Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu returned the smile with a snarl, attempting to swipe at the general only to fall into his arms. Tudan took the opportunity to carry his little bound bird the rest of the way to the ceremonial grounds. The shaman had already prepared the wedding wine for the couple and was ready to bind the two enemies together.

"Let go!" Shen Qingqiu was being held upright by two warriors while the shaman attempted to feed him the wedding wine. He struggled fiercely against them, seriously contemplating on vomiting on one of them before his foot connected with the shaman's privates.  

He took advantage of the small window of opportunity to run but General Tudan, the stubborn asshole that he was, grabbed him by his unbound hair and pressed him down on the floor to force the ceremonial wine down his throat. Shen Qingqiu instinctually swallowed, narrowly escaping drowning by wedding wine.

"SHEN QINGQIU!"

"MASTER!"

Following the shouts, several things happened at once.

Fireballs rained down onto the tents, which caught fire at once. In his haze, Shen Qingqiu recognise the skill as something Ming Fan had recently mastered after discovering his affinity with fire and air. Shen Qingqiu, whose affinity was with air and water, had set about teaching the boy how to manipulate air with fire talismans and Ming Fan had caught on after nearly lighting himself on fire, multiple times. He still had a burn on his arm that would scar badly after it healed.

At present, the west wind was blowing, whipping up the fires higher and brighter into the sky.

Shen Qingqiu could feel the heat nipping at his consciousness and it snapped him back from his drugged state. He realised belatedly then that Tudan was trying to pull him back to his tent, away from his rescuers.  

"Go," he gritted out, "TO. HELL!"

Shen Qingqiu swung his bound wrist with all his might towards Tudan's face. But with his cultivation bound, there was very little damage he could do to the larger man. Instead, it was his hands that throbbed with pain.

"Stop resisting!" Tudan said, gripping his shoulders tightly. "You're married to me!"

"You wish!" Shen Qingqiu returned. Even in his drugged state, he'd already noticed something, "YOU didn't consume the wedding wine. You spilled it all on me!"

"I don't need it," Tudan said to him. "You are the one that needed the aphrodisiac."

"Oh, but the ritual isn't complete if both didn't consume it, right?" Shen Qingqiu laughed. "Even in my condition, I heard what the stupid shaman said. Moron."

Before Tudan could say anything to that, a familiar shout sounded across the chaotic encampment.

"TUDAN! COME OUT!"

"Better answer that," Shen Qingqiu drawled. "Or he'll just call you a coward and he'd be right."

"TUDAN! YOU YELLOW-BELLIED COWARD!

Shen Qingqiu giggled and Tudan growled. He pushed Shen Qingqiu towards his second-in-charge.

"Keep him safe," Tudan said, taking out his sabre and heading out to confront Vice-General Liu.

'Oh, but who will keep him safe from me?' Shen Qingqiu thought to himself, slipping out a needle from the sleeve of his underrobe. Tudan had forgotten to remove his needle while dressing him and now that he was more sober, he'd have a small window of time before the aphrodisiac in the wedding wine kicked in.

***

Liu Qingge ignored the throbbing on his back. Mu Qingfang had patched him up as much as possible and healed most of his injuries as well, but the pain was still present as he had refused the painkillers.

He swung his sword and decapitated two of the Mongol warriors he was engaged in before shouting for Tudan again.

"YOU YELLOW-BELLIED COWARD! COME OUT!"

Then he turned around to intercept a familiar looking sabre. On the other side of their crossed blades was the face of that smug Mongol general that kept eyeing Shen Qingqiu whenever they were faced against each other on the battlefield.

"You're interrupting my wedding!" Tudan snarled and Liu Qingge sneered back at him.

"Good! Because Shen Qingqiu definitely deserves better than you!"

Amidst the burning chaos around them, the clashing of their blades actually caused sparks to fly, so fast were their strikes as they engaged in a furious battle to overcome each other.

"He's mine!" Tudan shouted, baring his teeth as he parried each strike from Liu Qingge, who didn't even bother to answer.

The vice-general suddenly ducked, moving into a maneuver that Shen Qingqiu had once resorted to when they were sparring. It was an... unconventional move, unorthodox but it was as effective as when Shen Qingqiu had used it, bringing Tudan down onto his knees as Liu Qingge sunk Cheng Luan into his side.

"Where is he!?" Liu Qingge demanded but Tudan glared at him, keeping mum. He didn't have time to waste on the man. Who knows what these barbarians have done to someone as refined as Shen Qingqiu. With a single swing of his sword, he decapitated the general, bringing an end to the fight.

"Qingqiu!" he shouted, running deeper into the camp. There was nothing but chaos as warriors ran amok, putting out the fires and engaging with the enemy. The vice-general was unhindered as he searched for his advisor, decapitating any Mongol warriors he came across with barely a pause.

It wasn't long before he stumbled across a dead body and the wedding ceremonial garb that matched what Tudan had been wearing before he killed him.

"Qingqiu! Answer me!" he shouted desperately, looking for traces of his missing advisor.

Then, he spotted it. Severed ropes and a bloodied dagger on the ground leading out of the encampment. The dagger matched the empty scabbard belonging to the dead body of the Mongol he'd found previously.

"Qingqiu!" he pulled out his sword, alighting on it and flying low so he could find Shen Qingqiu.

A low moan caught his attention and he quickly jumped down to search behind some large boulders. The glimmer of white between some prickly bushes caught his eyes immediately and he crawled in on all fours.

"Qingqiu!" he reached out but his hands were slapped away.

"No, no," Shen Qingqiu pushed him away weakly. "Qingge~!"

"It's me! It's me, Qingqiu!" Liu Qingge said, pulling off his outer robes to cover the delirious cultivator.

"No! Qingge, help me!" Shen Qingqiu turned away, trying to wedge himself between two rocks.

"Qingqiu!" Liu Qingge tried again, finally pulling the man into his arms and dragging him out from under the bush. In the darkness of the night, Shen Qingqiu couldn't clearly see him so he had to pull him out into the light. He braved through the scratches and the pitiful cries, his heart aching for Shen Qingqiu through it all.  

"Please, please, no," Shen Qingqiu sobbed in his arms and Liu Qingge held him tighter.

"We're going back to the camp, Qingqiu," Liu Qingge said. "Father is waiting for you."

"Father...?" Shen Qingqiu repeated in confusion.

"Yes, General Liu Fangzhao. My father," Liu Qingge confirmed, knowing how doting his father was towards Shen Qingqiu and how fond Shen Qingqiu was towards the general.

The advisor was an orphan, he remembered. He didn't have parents and so, had latched onto the first father-figure that was kind to him. Kind and respectful. It was why he'd infiltrated the Mongol camp with only two servants, to find the solution to the curse afflicted onto Liu Qingge's father, thus gaining the unwanted attention of an obsessed barbarian.

"It's me, Qingqiu," Liu Qingge said again, softer as he held Shen Qingqiu close to him.

"... is it really you...?" Shen Qingqiu asked, voice small and uncertain. "Liu Qingge...?"

"Yes," Liu Qingge answered, heart throbbing at the hurt and fear in Shen Qingqiu's voice.

"I'd rather it be you," Shen Qingqiu whispered, clutching at Liu Qingge's robes desperately. "You, than anyone else."

"Okay, I'll take you home," Liu Qingge promised. But Shen Qingqiu did something he did not expect.

He lifted his head and kissed Liu Qingge, with a desperation that was boiling over with passion and desire.

"Qingqiu?"

"Would rather," Shen Qingqiu moaned. "Would rather marry you."

"Are you sure?" Liu Qingge asked, feeling the heat emanating from Shen Qingqiu's flushed face. Had he been drugged?

"Yes, loyal, good, so very good, kind," Shen Qingqiu said, kissing him with every word. "Gentle. Too good. Too good for Qingqiu."

"No, not good enough for Qingqiu," Liu Qingge disagreed. "But I'll marry no one but you."

"Promise...?" Shen Qingqiu asked plaintively, tears clinging to his lashes.

"Yes," Liu Qingge said. "On my life. On Cheng Luan. On my soul."

Shen Qingqiu sobbed and Liu Qingge wrapped his outer robes on Shen Qingqiu's shoulder again, it having fallen when the other man kissed him.

"You have been drugged. I'll bring you back to Mu Qingfang," Liu Qingge said. "He'll have an antidote for you."

"No. Too late," Shen Qingqiu answered him, pulling his sleeves to halt him from pulling his sword out. "The aphrodisiac is burning my veins."

"Then..."

"If you want to marry me," Shen Qingqiu said, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Then help me now."

"I'll take responsibility," Liu Qingge promised, burying his face in the crook of Shen Qingqiu's neck and breathing in his scent. "Marry you. Immediately. When we get back."

"Yes, yes," Shen Qingqiu agreed, a smile on his face. Then he pulled at Liu Qingge's belt, undoing the tie efficiently despite his drugged state. He seemed to have gained more awareness now that he was sure that it was Liu Qingge with him and not a drug-induced hallucination as he had feared.

Assured that Shen Qingqiu knew what he was doing, Liu Qingge helped the advisor remove his clothes. In between, they shared passionate kisses as if to make up for all the months of slow courtship while denying their desire for each other.

"You smell so good," Liu Qingge groaned, sinking into the tight heat. "Feel so good."

Shen Qingqiu mewled, finally allowing his restrains to fall away. He writhed beneath Liu Qingge, his legs tightening around the warrior's waist. His nails scratched at Liu Qingge's healing back but the pain only served to ground Liu Qingge in the present. Instead of focusing only in his own pleasure, Liu Qingge snaked a hand down and gently rubbed his lover to completion as he continued to thrust in repeatedly.  

"Qingge," Shen Qingqiu whispered as he came, toes curling as he was brought to climax over and over again.

"Come," Liu Qingge said, feeling his own orgasm coming. "Come as many times as you need."

Shen Qingqiu threw his head back and tightened around him so much that Liu Qingge saw nothing but white as he came.

***

"It's late. Father will be worried," Liu Qingge said, looking up at the brightening sky. "We should head back."

Shen Qingqiu said nothing, picking himself up and straightening his robes as primly as he could. From behind, Liu Qingge could see his reddened ears and cheeks, finding his embarrassment oddly charming and cute.

Wordlessly, Liu Qingge picked up his discarded outer robes and draped it around Shen Qingqiu's shoulders again. His new lover did not protest, pulling the sleeves over his arms and pulling close the collars. The way he was acting made Liu Qingge lean in to steal a kiss from an indignant Shen Qingqiu.

"Liu Qingge!"

Liu Qingge grinned, feeling smug at Shen Qingqiu's pout.

"So uncouth," Shen Qingqiu complained, picking leaves and twigs out of his hair. "I can't believe I spent the night rolling around in the bushes like a common hormone-ridden teenager."

"I like it," Liu Qingge said honestly. He couldn't help smiling, now that Shen Qingqiu had agreed to marry him.

"What!? Are you sound of mind? What part of fucking on the hard ground, being poked by sharp rocks and branches in the butt, knees and your privates do you like!?" Shen Qingqiu asked him, looking as if he was sincerely questioning his sanity.  

Liu Qingge laughed as he carried his new bride up, feeling foolishly optimistic in this bright new day.

"I like it because it's with you," Liu Qingge said, completely truthful and unabashed by that fact. He took the time to admire the flush that crept up Shen Qingqiu's face before jumping up on Cheng Luan.

"Liu Qingge! You're a pervert!"

Liu Qingge couldn't help but laugh again as they flew towards their encampment, the sun rising in the horizon as smoke trailed up into the sky behind them.

Epilogue

It was the largest ceremony the Liu family had organised in quite a while. Madam Liu had left nothing unplanned and the banquet hall was bedecked from ceiling to floor to the very last pillar. Gentle and sweet Liu Mingyan had nearly made the chefs cry from her demands for the catering to be perfect. Even the Liu soldiers were roped in to help out with the preparations and security.

Liu Fangzhao was at the entrance to the hall, welcoming the guests as they trickled in. He was in a very good mood as he greeted old and new friends alike. There was nothing that could ruin his mood, even when the Yue family arrived. (To be honest, none of the Liu family members wanted to invite them, knowing how Yue Qingyuan abandoned their Qingqiu, but it couldn't be helped. They couldn't just blatantly ostracize the Lord and his family.)

"Old Liu!" called out his old friend. Liu Fangzhao gladly abandoned his spot beside his wife, neglecting to continue his conversation with Yue Qingyuan as General Wei approached the gate.  

"Congratulations!" General Wei said, patting his shoulder.

"Thank you for coming!" the former general returned happily, smiling so much that his eyes could barely be seen.

"Thank you for inviting me! Where are the main characters?" General Wei asked, looking around the hall.

"Oh, they will be here soon," Liu Fangzhao said, waving a hand.

"Hoho, I was so surprised to get your invitation when I returned to the capital," said the general. "This was rather quick to be honest."

"It's a natural progression of their relationship," Liu Fangzhao insisted. "After all, they've already tied the knot."

"True. True," General Wei agreed, rubbing a hand on his beard. "And with the borders being at peace now..."

"Right. Especially after Qingqiu brokered the peace treaty with the Khan," Liu Fangzhao boasted. "The Liu army haven't lost a single battle ever since my son-in-law joined us, it shouldn't surprise anyone that he was the lynchpin to stopping the Mongols from attempting to invade us."

"His Majesty wasn't particularly happy about sending the Fifth Princess to the west as a bride for the treaty, but the Mongol tribes did send several beauties in return for the ceasefire," General Wei said. "One of them is said to be a mix demon-human and another is a shaman as well."

"Regardless, Qingqiu and Qingge returned from the borders safely and that's what matters most to me," Liu Fangzhao said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I don't care for the expansion of the royal harem. My father always emphasized on the importance of fidelity towards his one and only spouse and it is the same for me and Qingge."

"Yes, yes, the Liu family is well known for not taking concubines and consorts," General Wei agreed.

"Not even a second wife or husband," Liu Fangzhao pointed out. "Qingge is also adamant about that. That's why His Majesty gifted Qingqiu the Treasure Fruit Flower after the treaty was signed."

"And then they immediately made use of it," General Wei said with a laugh. "It's been barely a year since they returned!"

"So what? They were planning to have children as soon as the peace treaty went through anyway!" Liu Fangzhao said haughtily. "They wanted to give my wife and I some grandchildren!'

"Oho, so, you're the reason!" laughed General Wei. "You old coot! I knew it! So you were concerned over your bloodline after all!"

"I'm retired. Of course I'll want a grandchild to spoil. Mingyan is still too young to give me one," Liu Fangzhao replied. "Besides, I was sure a child of Qingqiu and my son will be very talented, intelligent and beautiful. And I was right! Twice over, in fact!"

"Yes, yes," General Wei agreed with a wave of his hand. "If I hear anymore boasting from you about your son-in-law, my ears will fall off."

"You ass. Are you here to celebrate with me, or to complain about me!?" Liu Fangzhao said, grabbing his friend's sleeve when he attempted to run away.

"Father, stop hassling the guests. Did you leave Mother to greet the arrivals alone?"

The retired general and General Wei turned around at the same time to see Liu Qingge carrying a small cooing bundle.

"Is that your son!?" General Wei asked, hopping forward to get a good look at the child. Liu Fangzhao followed, always eager to see his grandson.

Bright green eyes filled with curiosity looked out from the red silk swaddle and the baby smiled toothily at them, making the two elders melt instantly.

"So cute!"

"Didn't I tell you!"

When Shen Qingqiu arrived with his daughter, his father-in-law was carrying his one-month-old son in his arms while his former colleague played with the child. Liu Qingge was no where to be seen, probably having gone to change after his son had burped on him after his feeding.

"Oiyo, so cute," cooed General Wei, shaking a rattle at the babbling boy.  "Oh, Master Shen! You're here!"

"Thank you for coming for the twins' one-month celebration," Shen Qingqiu said, adjusting his hold on his daughter to show the general his other child.

"One Dragon, One Phoenix. Such a good omen," praised the general. "Old Liu, you are so fortunate. First you bag Master Shen as your own in-law, now you get two grandchildren at the same time. I am so jealous. Maybe I should retire as well."

"You should! Then we can play wei qi and watch the children play," Liu Fangzhao laughed, patting his grandson on the back as the baby reached out to pull his beard. "Qingqiu! Sit down. You need the rest. There will be more guests coming."

Shen Qingqiu sat down obediently, contented to watch his father-in-law happily boast about his grandchildren. Ever since the general retired, he'd been roaming about the manor aimlessly, driving his wife insane. But the moment the twins were born, it seemed the happiest person in the house was Liu Fangzhao.

There wasn't a single moment that the former general wasn't hovering over the babies, cooing over them, playing with them and making sure that the servants' care of them was immaculate. And what touched Shen Qingqiu even more was that the former general didn't discriminate over either of the twins. He loved both his grandson and granddaughter equally. No one doted over them more than Liu Fangzhao, even his wife paled in comparison in that regard.

"I'm sorry, Qingqiu," Madam Liu once said to him as they watched the retired general play with the babies while cooing at them. Behind him was a pile of new toys that the elder had bought on a whim while perusing the market. "Your father is going to spoil them rotten."

"I don't mind," Shen Qingqiu had replied honestly. Having grown up never knowing familial love, he wanted only the very best for his children. Seeing them so loved, he couldn't bring himself to protest against a grandfather doting on his grandchildren.  

"Qingqiu."

Shen Qingqiu looked up at Liu Fangzhao, whose face had turned stony for some reason.

"Why don't you go look for Qingge. I'll look after Xiao Lung," Liu Fangzhao said, patting the baby boy gently on the back.

Shen Qingqiu blinked, curious at the sudden change in attitude. Then, he saw it.

Yue Qingyuan was standing close by, watching him with a longing gaze. Beside him was a sour-faced Qi Qingqi and behind her was a young girl... their daughter. She looked more like Qi Qingqi that Yue Qingyuan, perhaps with only a minor resemblance in the curve of his eyes and the tall bridge of his nose. She was staring at the ground, looking bored and resigned.

A hand rested onto his shoulder and Shen Qingqiu looked away.

"Qingqiu, go find your husband," his father-in-law said, obviously having seen the way Shen Qingqiu's former husband was looking at him.

"No need. I'm here," Liu Qingge said, appearing suddenly to take his baby son away from his father. Liu Fangzhao would normally protest against it but it seemed as if the elder was preparing himself to go into battle, squaring his shoulders before intercepting Lord Yue and his family.

Shen Qingqiu looked at his husband, ignoring the prickling stares from the Yue couple. Liu Qingge was dressed in a green ensemble just like him, instead of his usual white on black. Tied at his waist was a jade yaopei matching that of Shen Qingqiu's, as if he'd deliberately dressed to be a match to Shen Qingqiu's usual aesthetics. Knowing him though, Shen Qingqiu surmised that his sister had prepared the robes and accessories to advertise their relationship. Even the twins were sporting the same jade bracelets that had identical carvings to their yaopei, all of which were gifts from Madam Liu and Liu Mingyan.

"Are you alright?" Liu Qingge asked, very obviously concerned for him. Shen Qingqiu didn't know why he would be though. It wasn't as if he hadn't met the Yue couple before after his divorce from Yue Qingyuan. In fact, they had been there when Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu were awarded for their contribution to the peace treaty.

"You're very handsome," Shen Qingqiu said instead, reaching out a hand to touch the lapels of Liu Qingge's robes.

Liu Qingge's brows furrowed in confusion but his attention was diverted by a snuffling noise from Shen Qingqiu's arms.

"Xiao Feng, are you sleepy?" Liu Qingge asked his yawning daughter, touching her chubby cheek with gentle calloused fingers.

Shen Qingqiu patted his daughter gently, rocking her to sleep. His firstborn, Liu Qifeng, was a calm and easy to care for baby, while her younger brother, Liu Qilung, was an excitable and happy baby. Both of them were the apple of their grandparents' eyes and it pleased Shen Qingqiu to see how preciously his children were treated in the Liu family. It didn't matter to him if they don't shared his surname, as long as they were loved like they deserved.

Liu Qingge suddenly leaned in, kissing him on the forehead and Shen Qingqiu blinked at him in surprise.

"What?"

Liu Qingge's handsome face was fond and besotted as he stared at his beautiful husband, arms full of their equally beautiful daughter. In his own arms, his son blinked lethargically.

"It's naptime," Liu Qingge said instead of explaining.

"The guests have just arrived," Shen Qingqiu answered. "I'll put the twins in the cot and let the nanny keep an eye on them while we entertain them."

Liu Qingge hummed in agreement, letting the babies' nursemaid take Qilung from him. Shen Qingqiu left with the nanny, intent of letting their children have their evening nap. Liu Qingge watched his husband walk away before turning to the newcomer that had attempted to approach them when Shen Qingqiu was still with him.

"Lord Yue," Liu Qingge greeted.

"General Liu," Yue Qingyuan returned with a nod. He looked unhappy and his eyes kept swinging towards Shen Qingqiu's back, as if he was tempted to go to his ex-husband. However, Liu Qingge stood his ground, blocking Yue Qingyuan from approaching the front of the hall where the elevated seats and cot were.

"A- Qingqiu looks happy..." Yue Qingyuan trailed off.

"He is," Liu Qingge replied curtly, as if trying to remind Yue Qingyuan of propriety. "And I would like to request that you no longer call him by name."

"...Ah. My... apologies," Yue Qingyuan said, before he was diverted by the arrival of his wife and daughter.

"General Liu," Qi Qingqi greeted with a coy tilt to her lips. She was looking up at him through her lashes but Liu Qingge didn't even bother to look her way.

"Madam Yue, Young Mistress Yue," Liu Qingge greeted back with a nod before shifting his attention back to Yue Qingyuan.

"Thank you for coming to our twins' one-month celebration," he said with no inflection to his voice at all. "I hope you enjoy the banquet."

With that said, he signalled to Liu Bo, who had been watching with narrowed eyes from the sidelines. His cousin quickly made his way over to lead the Yue family to their seats, making an almost obvious gesture of leading them away from Shen Qingqiu, who was still preoccupied with the children.

Having dismissed his husband's (annoying, stalkerish) ex-spouse, Liu Qingge made his way to Shen Qingqiu, who was patting their son to sleep beside his slumbering sister. As he got closer, he could hear his husband singing softly to their cooing child.  

Seeing Shen Qingqiu this way, Liu Qingge couldn't help but think once more that Yue Qingyuan was a fool for neglecting and divorcing someone like him. Someone who loved the people he cared about silently but deeply, with all the potency of the sun, warm and encompassing.

As he stepped forward towards his spouse, Liu Qingge decided that none of that mattered now. Yue Qingyuan was a thing of the past now. No longer of importance.  

As long as Shen Qingqiu was happy with him, that was all that mattered.

End of As the West Wind Blows

[seyaryminamoto]

This might be a bit of a spoilery question, but will we ever see a Yue and Sokka dynamic?

It certainly can be spoilery... but yes, we will see these two interacting in the story's future.

I've already said it before and I think it's kind of obvious, but it bears repeating that, as much as Yue was Sokka's first love interest in canon, their dynamic won't go into those territories at all here. Yue will develop a much deeper connection with someone else, and her dynamic with Sokka will be strictly platonic, Sokka himself ensures that's the case. There will be good scenes between them, I hope (still haven't written them!), where Sokka will hear some of Yue's wisdom, they might even discuss Rhone (if Sokka is in the mood for it...), and Sokka will also help her look inwards to figure out what she really wants in life.

So there wil be a dynamic, a very respectful one, and they'll definitely get along well... but as far as romantic connections are concerned, Gladiator has frequently thrown some curveball relationships that simply have no chance of happening in canon but that make perfect sense within the setting :'D ironically, in doing so, canon's potential relationships often feel... out of place here XD as an example, the very notion of Zuko and Jin being interested in each other romantically is something unthinkable in Gladiator, while evidently that wasn't at all the case in ATLA. Strange as this concept might feel, the Zuko-Jin situation is similar to Sokka and Yue: there's really no ground whatsoever for those two to catch feelings for each other in this setting. There's someone else who would be a much better fit for Yue in this story... :'D

[ragethenerd]

Okay, this could easily become Bingyuan if you consider it from Binghe's perspective. Starting at his head discipleship, Binghe had always been aware of Shen Yuan's distant admiration. Which kind of confused him? Because SY never acted on that admiration, unlike everybody else after they realized there was something to be gained from associating with him. But he supposed it made sense if Shen Yuan knew he couldn't get support in the first place (Binghe did feel a little bad about not protecting him from the abuse, didn't his mother raise him better? But the only person who couldn't easily fall out of Shen Qingqiu's favor is Ning Yingying, and it was made very clear early on that whoever consorted with Shen Yuan was doomed to his same fate). But that raised the question of why admire him at all? If Binghe were in his situation, he certainly wouldn't feel any admiration to someone who outright ignored his abuse, no matter how impressive they were (LBH was aslo aware of SY's sad? ...longing? looks but they were never outright hostile because SY cannot find it in himself to be truly hostile towards LBH). Cut to the Immortal Alliance Conference when everything is going to shit for Luo Binghe, and he's certainly going to be killed despite all his work in the sect when Shen Yuan is the one to stand up for Binghe. The only one. The person he's ignored and allowed to be abused for years? Yeah, that one. This certainly makes Luo Binghe have a paradigm shift, if not into outright love, then at least to 'a debt that cannot be easily paid back' feelings. He's going to be spending his time in the abyss thinking a lot about Shen Yuan to say the least.

As for how Shen Yuan gets out of that situation without being killed, ehhh maybe SQQ likes having him as a punching bag too much to get rid of him completely, or maybe YQY goes 'Alright, I draw the line at murdering innocent diciples.' Even still, things do get a lot worse for SY at the sect. Because of how he very publicly fucked up, his abuse becomes a lot more open then it already was, and also much worse. Maybe they start withholding a lot of meals from him, maybe the start sabotaging his cultivation even more to the point that it effects his health, idk. Then cut to the Jin Lan City arc, where Shen Yuan was brought for funsies or as a meat shield, who knows! (This also doesn't have to be Jin Lan City specifically but for simplicity let's say it is.) LBH finally comes back, Shen Yuan can't really find it in himself to care, and then the accusations on Shen Qingqiu are finally brought out. But then SQQ says that those crimes were all committed by Shen Yuan! Their faces look so similar, it would be easy to mistake one for the other, especially if multiple years had passed. And besides, that diciple had already been exposed for consorting with demons years ago! Surely it would be easier to believe that he would be capable of committing such heinous offenses instead of a well-regarded Peak Lord. (And despite Yue Qingyuan's and Shen Qingqiu's earlier misgivings about getting rid of SY, they're both on board this time because otherwise it's SQQ's ass.) After this, Shen Yuan sort of just... gives up. He could fight, but why bother? He knew this was coming for a long time, and he's just tired. While he's in the water prison, Luo Binghe breaks Shen Yuan out and they go on the run together. Thus begins the comfort part of the hurt/comfort where LBH makes SY lots of tasty meals and tries very hard to woo a very broken man.

au in which shen yuan got transmigrated as a kid, a few years before binghe's on the peak, and shen jiu sees this little guy who looks exactly like him, sharing a name with him, digging a hole desperate to get in- and is filled with incandescent rage.

just like with binghe, for shen jiu seeing a parallel of himself at his weakest makes him furious. he wants to smoosh this creature like a bug. he resolves to do the mature thing and ignore it and hope it will die of starvation when it fails to get into a sect; but then the worst imaginable thing happens.

Yue qingyuan tries to save it. Unacceptable. Yue qingyuan abandoned him as a child, and is now trying to rescue this creature? What's so special about Shen Yuan that he's earned the rescue Shen Jiu never received himself? What's so good about it? Shen Jiu can already tell that Yue Qingyuan will spoil it rotten on his peak, give him exactly the life of safety and support that Shen Jiu always secretly wanted and never got. So he claims the beast first.

In five years, when Lou Binghe arrives on the peak and is begrudingly accepted as Ning Yingying's newest shidi, Shen Jiu barely pays him any mind. He already has a little beast that he despises and takes out his frustrations on. Binghe's similarities to himself (And his perceived blessings that young Shen Jiu never got) pale in comparison to Shen Yuan's, and thus go entirely unnoticed.

Shen Yuan feels- complex, about it, because truthfully he's been holding out hope for Binghe to save him. If not in a protagonist's manner, then in the age-old method of a bully choosing a new target. instead...nothing changes.

Binghe doesn't interfere. He's a scared child who's just secure the better future he promised his mother he'd aim for before she died. He's got steady access to food and shelter, and he doesn't want to risk that. Shen Yuan can't blame him. But ah, as the years pass.... Binghe starts to rise in the peak. Without Jiu targeting him, his natural talents allow him many successes. More important, his skill at manipulation develops at a younger age- he knows how to win over his peers, how to appeal to the peak lord. He quickly becomes head disciple, respected and somewhat trusted.

He still doesn't save Shen Yuan. It's not that he joins in bullying him; that would be too OOC! Even Yuan would protest if something like that occurred! But he turns a blind eye to it all. When the other disciples steal his food, Binghe doesn't ensure he gets to eat. When the other disciples run him out to the woodshed, Binghe never demands they give him back his bed. He doesn't even bring Shen Yuan a blanket. To Binghe, it's like Shen Yuan doesn't exist at all. It's the only way Binghe can feel secure that it won't be him in such a position if he speaks up.

It's hard for Shen Yuan to not get a little resentful. Not just because- because of all his hopes he'd pinned, maybe, on the protagonist he'd admired so much saving him. Not just because it feels like he's taken on Binghe's suffering for him and an unwitting Binghe is ungrateful. (he knows this is a foolish thing to think, but it's how he feels regardless.) Not even just because Binghe is *head disciple* and that makes it literally his job to fix this sort of thing. But specifically, because if Binghe was the one suffering, there's a guarantee that at the end of this it would end. He'd get out from under Shen Qinqqiu's thumb and he'd go on to get his revenge and become a powerful and respected cultivator, and have lots of wives and lots of money and lots of food and a safe place to sleep... Shen Yuan is background fodder. He'll never amount to anything.

But he doesn't hate Binghe. He could never! He knows, deep down, that Binghe's just scared and he's adapted to survive this way and besides, Binghe is still really really cool. Shen Yuan likes getting to see how cool Binghe is up close, with his growth so unhampered. Binghe is amazing at fight, so clever in classes, an excellent musician already, a detective as clever as sherlock holmes on missions, a warrior without equal on monsterhunts. When he gets to see Binghe in action, as opposed to Binghe on the peak failing to save him- he can forgive anything, really.

Eventually Shen Yuan decides he's got to get out. He'll do the conference, try really hard, and see if he can transfer to another sect. Probably not, because his skills are awful; but even so he'll leave and become a rogue cultivator. It'll be hard, and he might starve, but anything is better than staying on the peak forever.

He assumed that Binghe, with all this unhindered skills-leveling, wouldn't get caught as a half-demon. Or that if he was, perhaps his relationship was close enough with the peak lord that it would spare him his fate from the novel. Instead- instead he sees exactly how it plays out. Binghe's control slips at the edge of the abyss, and the truth is revealed to the small group of disciples he was protecting (including shen yuan, for once!) and to a furious Shen Qingqiu.

The Peak Lord forced his head disciple to the edge of the cliff and goes to stab him through the heart.

Shen Yuan does something he'll regret, entirely on instinct: He tries to interfere. He tries to call out and save him. isn't this your respected head disciple? isn't binghe only here because he was trying to protect the disciples in his care?

It's pointless. Binghe still falls into the abyss. But it leaves shen yuan behind- already hated, already mistrusted, and now he's just defended a demonic spy who'd been hidden in their sect. His chances of living to see Binghe claw his way back out of the abyss are extremely low- at best, he'll see it through the bars of a cell at the water prison.

-------

au discussed with @slurmdog :)

[bookofjin]

Accounts of the temple of Ashoka (LS54)

[According to Buddhist legend, Ashoka, ruler of the Mauryan empire, built 84 000 stupas in honour of the Buddha. By Liang times, it was claimed that just such a stupa had been found in Kuaiji!

This should probably be viewed as part of a larger program to legitimize the Jiankang state and its ruler as an integral part of the larger Buddhist world.]

King Ashoka [ayu wang阿育王] is precisely the Iron Wheel King. He was king over Jambudvipa [the Indian subcontinent, Yanfuti閻浮提] and united Under Heaven. After the Buddha's nirvana, in one day and one night, he conscripted ghosts and spirits to construct 84 000 stupas, this was precisely one of them. In the time of Wu, there was Buddhist nun who lived on that land, she made a small monastery. Sun Chen soon after demolished and removed it. The stupa was also destroyed with it. After Wu was pacified, various people of the Way again erected it at its old place.

When Zhongzong of Jin [i.e. Emperor Yuan] began to cross the Jiang, he immediately adorned and decorated it. Arriving at Jianwen's Xian'an era [371 – 372], he sent the sramana Teacher An to go there and construct a small stupa. It was not yet complete when he perished. His disciple Monk Xian carried on, and adorned the construction. Arriving at Xiaowu's 9th Year of Taiyuan [384 AD], they put up gold on the wheels and the parasols.

After that, in Lishi county in Xihe there was a Hu person called Liu Sahe who became ill and suddenly perished, but below the heart he was still warm. His family had not yet dared to bury him right away when after ten days, he revived again. He told them:

There were two functionaries making recordings. [I] travelled toward the north-west, but did not measure if it was far or near, until [I] arrived in the Eighteen Hells. Subsequently there was retribution, heavy or light, and [we] received various painful abuses. [I] saw the Guanshiyin [Bodhisattva] who spoke: “Your destiny is not yet ended. If [you] manage to live, [you] can become a sramana. Below Luo, inQicheng, Danyang, and Kuaiji all have King Ashoka's stupas, you can go there and worship. If [your] natural lifespan ends, [you] will not fall into hell. Her speech finished, it was like [I]fell from a tall cliff, and suddenly [I] woke up from sleep.

Following that, he set out from his family, and took the name Huida. He roamed and travelled to pay respect at the stupas and in turn arrived in Danyang, but he did not know where the stupa was located. He therefore climbed the walls of Yue [?] and looked around. He saw a strange coloured aura a thousand li long. Following that, he went there to worship, and it really was where King Ashoka, which frequently let out a glowing light. With that, he certainly knew there was sure to be sarira [Buddhist relics], and therefore assembled a multitude to go there and dig for them. When they had gotten a zhang in, they obtained three stone steles, each six chi long. On the middle stele there was and iron box, inside the box there was a silver box, and inside that box there was a gold box. It was filled with three sarira and a nail and a hair, one of each. The hair was several chi long. They immediately moved the sarira closer north, to stand opposite west of the stupa Jianwen had built, and built single storey stupa. 16th Year [f Taiyuan?, 391 AD], they also sent the sramana Monk Shangqie to make it three storeys, which was precisely the one opened by Gaozu [of Liang].

…

Middle of Jin's Xianhe era [326 – 334], the Governor of Danyang, Gao Kui, travelled the to the Zhanghou Bridge, and saw on the bank a five coloured glove, several chi long. He did not know why, and therefore ordered people to the location of the glow to dig in the ground and look at it. He They obtained a golden statue, but it had not yet a glowing base. Kui therefore sent down a chariot, to transport the statue back. When they arrived at the head of the Changgan Lane, the ox was not willing to advance. Kui therefore ordered the driver to trust in what the ox was doing. The ox straight away pulled the chariot to a temple, and Kui following that kept the statue in the care of the temple monks. Always at midnight, it would constantly let out a glowing light, and also they heard within the hollow the sound of metal and stone.

One year had passed, when a fisherman, Zhang Xishi, at the mouth of the sea suddenly saw a copper flower base floating on the water. Xishi took it and sent it to the county, and the county sent it to the palace. They set it up as the foot of the statue, and it was as if they were joined together.

It happened that in Jianwen's 1st Year of Xian'an [371 AD], a native of Hepu in Jiao province, Dong Zongzhi, was collecting pearls submerged in water, and at the bottom obtained a Buddha bright and beautiful. Jiao province compelled him to send it to the palace. They set it up with the state and it also joined with it. From the middle of Xianhe until the beginning of Xian'an, more than thirty years had passed when the glowing base was first arranged.

Earlier, after Gao Kui had obtained the statue, a five Hu monks from the Western Regions came to Kui, and said:

Formerly [we] obtained in Tianzhu a statue made by King Ashoka. [When we] came down to Ye, [we] encountered the chaos of the Hu and buried the statue on the edge of the Yellow River. Now [we are] seeking and searching for what I have lost.

The five people once in a single night all dreamt that they saw the statue, which said:

[I] have already set out for Jiangdong, and been obtained by Gao Kui.

Kui therefore sent these five monks to the temple. When they saw the statue, they sighed, sobbed, and wept tearfully. The statue right then began to glow, the shine lit up the roof of the hall.

There also was Huisui of Waguan Temple who wished to make a copy shaped like the statue. The temple master Monk Shang worried it would damage or diminish the golden statue, and he spoke to Sui, saying:

If [you] are able to make the statue begin to glow, and turn its body westward, then [you] can have permission.

Huisui right then went to humbly request it. That night the statue promptly moved its position and began to glow, turning its body westward. Next morning he right then was allowed to copy it. The base of the statue previously had writings from a foreign state, and nobody could understand it. Later the Tripitaka Ran Fu sought out a Bamo跋摩[?] who understood it. He stated that this had been made by King Ashoka's fourth daughter.

[theowritesfiction]

Ok hmmmmm now I wanna ask some that I don’t usually ask about since I usually ask the same ones 😂 Hmmmm… 🤔

Zuko/Jin

Suki/Ty Lee

Yue/Mai

Jinko: sure, I ship it

What made you ship it? Well, I recently re-watched ATLA, and the Jinko bit of Tales of BSS was probably my favorite part.

What are your favorite things about the ship? I just love how utterly useless Zuko was during that date. And like... he doesn't have great game with Mai, but he occasionally does act like a boyfriend? But with Jin it was just a total disaster until the moment of lighting the lanterns. And I just love the awkwardness of their date.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Probably that I now prefer it over Zutara, that can't be a popular opinion lmao

Suki/Ty Lee: hell yeah I ship it

What made you ship it? I shipped them in the first ever ATLA story I wrote. And yes... I confess, it was because of the comics where I liked to see them working together as Zuko's bodyguards.

What are your favorite things about the ship? At first it was just the idea of them being sisters in arms in the Kyoshi Warriors, and the overall total lesbian vibe of KW. :) But upon re-watching ATLA, I just realized an even better reason to ship them. Damn, these two girls do NOT like each other lmao. Suki really wants a piece of Ty Lee when they are escaping Boiling Rock on the gondola. That gives the ship the enemies to lovers feel that I just love. I need to include this ship in a future story again.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Yeah, I feel like a lot of people think Ty Lee being a KW is stupid and makes no sense, but eh... I kinda love it. I'm just a big fan of the aesthetic I guess.

Yue/Mai: don't ship it

Why don’t you ship it? No particular reason. I just haven't thought about it. I remember an Azutara fic that had this side-pairing, and I thought it was nice, but ultimately didn't really capture me I guess.

What would have made you like it? I don't know, I would have to think about it more. At the first glance, I'm struggling to find some obvious points of connection for Yue and Mai.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? I'm definitely not opposed to it as a concept, and I would love to be convinced that they work together! They would certainly make a very pretty pair <3

[ying-an-sanren]

I found out a curious little thing;

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the 16 personalisty types; I've came across this concept a few years ago, and since then one of the ways to kill my time was looking up book/TV/movie characters and making a list of characters that have the same personality typa as me, which of them have the same type as my family members, which of them have the same type as my frineds...

And of course I looked up MXTX characters as well. (For example I found out that I have the same personality type as Xie Lian (I swear I would never expect such a blessing/honor, I've never had the same personality type as the main character until now), and what I found most interesting was, that while my father has the same personality type as Jiang Fengmian, my mom share the personality type with Yu Ziyuan (& Jiang Cheng & Nie Mingjue)... (...and then there's also my ex, who's Bai Wuxiang, lol 😅😭)

(Please note that the fact that these chracters share a personality type doesn't mean that their personalities are exactly the same)

And yes, the similarities in personality are extremely visible, especially with my mom... I don't know whether I should laugh or cry 😅 ...I certainly find it quite interesting tho

Also when I put this up on fb, people in comments were asking me what characters are what personality type so I put together a list, here, if you know your personality type, you can locate characters that share it with you 👇

(Also, if you don't know your personality type, ypu can find out here: https://www.16personalities.com/)

(Note: don’t expect to find your personality in each book)

SVSSS

ENFJ – Luo Bingge

ENFP – Tianlang-jun

ENTJ – Meng Mo

ENTP – Sha Hualing

ESFJ – Luo Bingmei

ESFP – Ning Yingying

ESTJ – Ming Fan, Qi Qingqi

INFJ – Liu Mingyan, Gongyi Xiao

INTJ – Shen Jiu

INTP – Shen Qingqiu, Mu Qingfan, Shang Qinghua

ISFJ – Yue Qingyuan, Zhuzhi-Lang

ISTJ – The Systém, Liu Qingge, Mobei-jun, Su Xiyan

MDZS (I noticed here some of the characters of MDZS have slightly different personalities in novel, donghua and live action – for example novel Jin Guangyao is clasified as ENFJ, while the donghua one was labeled as INFJ… – I’ll try to write down personalities more based on novel)

ENFJ – Jin Guangyao

ENFP – Lan Jingyi

ENTJ – Wen Ruohan

ENTP – Wei Wuxian, A-Qing

ESFJ - Lan Xichen (50:50, half of the people say he's ESFJ, while the other half claims he's INFJ)

ESTJ – Jiang Cheng, Lan Qiren, Nie Mingjue, Yu Ziyuan

ESTP – Wen Chao, Lil‘ Apple, Xue Yang

INFJ – Lan Sizhui, Xiao Xingchen, Lan Xichen (BUT it's like 50:50, I've seen half of the people say he's INFJ and the other half that he's ESFJ)

INFP – Jiang Fengmian, Mian Mian

ISFJ – Wen Ning, Jiang Yanli

ISFP – Jin Ling, Mo Xuanyu, Nie Huaisang

ISFJ – Wen Zhuliu

ISTJ – Lan Wangji, Song Lan, Wen Qing

ISTP – Jin Zixuan

TGCF

ENFJ – Bai Wuxiang

ENFP – Shi Qingxuan

ENTJ – Shi Wudu

ENTP – Cuo Cuo

ESFJ – Feng Xin

ESTJ – Ke Mo, Nan Feng (donghua)

ESFP – Jian Lan, Lang Qingqiu

ESTP – Pei Ming, Qi Rong

INFJ – Xie Lian, Yushi Huang

INFP – Lang Ying (present), E-Ming

INTJ – He Xuan, Ling Wen, Pei Su

INTP – Mei Nianqing

ISFJ – Gu Zi, Rouye, Yin Yu

ISFP – Banyue, Quan Yizhen

ISTJ – Mu Qing + Fu Yao, Ming Yi (not the imposter), Xuan Ji

ISTP – Hua Cheng

[lansplaining]

With JGY, his death is so frustrating to me, personally, because while Sisi and others who he had legitimately wronged were kinda involved in it, the driving force of his death was NHS, whose person he was avenging of NMJ, neither of whom I can muster much sympathy for. TGCF spoilers If we look at TGCF and Shi Wudu's death, yeah, that's way more karmic. Like, he's my baby and I wish nothing but good for him, but He Xuan had very valid reasons for targeting him as he ruined his life. In SVSSS, while his fate was so brutal, Shen Jiu dug his own grave by how he treated Luo Binghe, which wasn't even driven by the need to protect or something like that as was with the prior case. With JGY it's like... hey, of the actual atrocities you did, the thing that brings you down is this trust fund baby whose brother you killed before he was going to kill you. Yeah, it fits with the book's theme of life being unfair, but still.

It's so unfair!! It's so maddening and unfair!! And as you say, fully the point. Wei Wuxian spends the whole book/show working to bring down someone a) who is one of the few people who never had it out for him at all (in the novel) and b) in service of a manipulative scheme he knows nothing about and never agreed to participate in.

But... hm. There's something more to it, too. I haven't re-read Scum Villain recently enough or closely enough to really make the case for Shen Jiu, but even in-world there are people (...okay, just Yue Qingyuan) who love and care for Shen Jiu and don't see what happened to him as justice.

In TGCF, He Xuan certainly thinks there's a pleasant moral symmetry to what happens. But as it progresses, I'd argue it becomes clear even he doesn't know what he wants, even he doesn't know what will satisfy him. Does he need Shi Qingxuan to repudiate what his brother did? Does he need both brothers to die? Does he need both brothers to plead for forgiveness or mercy, or just one of them, or neither of them? Would it have been justice if he'd killed Shi Qingxuan, too, and why didn't he, anyway? Is it justice if he thinks he left Shi Qingxuan to a fate worse than death, crippled with no powers, but actually Shi Qingxuan's resilient spirit means he's probably going to be okay?

At whose hands would JGY's death have been justice? Would you have been okay with it if it had been a random member of the clan he's torturing in the 'Villainous Friends' extra, or the family of a Jin cultivator who was collateral damage at Qiongqi Pass, or Sisi or Qin Su? What does it mean to say someone deserves to die? I feel like that's the real question at least the Black Water arc and MDZS generally are getting at (again, I don't feel like I can speak for SVSSS).

[drwcn]

I know you usually don't follow where the last snippet leaves off but I'm desperate to know how the conversation went with Lan Qiren after he interrupted Wangxian? Did he snap his sleeve and walk away? Did he tell head eunuch Yue to get rid of wwx?

《 Without Envy 》 snippet 6.2 - concubine/sleeper agent!wwx & prince!lwj [Master List] This snippet immediately follows [snippet 6]

Lan Wangji knew the minute his uncle showed up that this would not be an easy conversation. Up until now, Lan Qiren had been rather hands off with his nephew's personal life, leaving Wangji to do as he pleased. Once a upon a time when Nie Mingjue was alive and Lan Xichen hasn't sworn shut the doors to his harem forever, Lan Qiren had made some plans to see Wangji settled. Man or woman it mattered not, as long as they were of clean pedigree and cared for his nephew. No one expected Lan Wangji to be heir, so as long as his spouse was respectable, Lan Qiren would have advocated on his nephew's behalf if his chosen one was not up to the Elders' standards.

Then of course, Nie Mingjue had died, and everything changed.

Lan Qiren raised and cared for the two princes as though he were his own sons; he knew them better than anyone. Lan Wangji's displeasure with the state of his marriage was no secret. Still, Lan Qiren was quite proud that Wangji was able to put aside his own personal interests for the greater good of the nation. Now that Lan Jingyi and Lan Kaisong were born and the future of the crown was secure, what Wangji did in the privacy of his own harem, really, was his own business.

Lan Qiren knew Wangji did not desire women the way other men did, and he clearly found his ce-wangfu Jin Ziyan about as engaging as a bucket of apples, so when Mo Xuanyu caught his fancy, a servant bought as a child with no status to speak of, Lan Qiren held his tongue. Indulgence was frowned upon, but a little happiness was certainly allowed.

Lan Qiren didn't want to interfere. His nephew was a grown man, after all.

But this was getting ridiculous.

Lan Qiren had heard the talks amongst the officials and the gossips between the courtiers: Hanguang-wang has a "xin-chong". (Note: xin = new, chong = to adore, to spoil, xin-chong refers to a new favourite). But the xin-chong in question was not a new mianshou like Mo Xuanyu as would be expected, but a manservant, a boy of eighteen who was once the peijia of Jiang Yanli.

Apparently, this Wei Wuxian, or A-Xian as he was known, had served Wangji for one night, after which he was transferred from Jiang Yanli's court yard to serve Hanguang-wang personally. The correct, respectable thing to do would've been to raise Wei Wuxian's status to mianshou after that night, but Wangji didn't...instead he kept this boy close to him at all times and acted out all sorts of weird behaviours deviating from his norm!

From court: ...Last week, Hanguang-wang was seen with that servant of his at Zuixian Lou (The Drunk Immortal House) for lunch. Official Zhou from the Ministry of Rites saw it with his own eyes. That servant - A-Xian was his name I believe - sat with dianxia, and dianxia personally put food into his bowl...

From A-Yao when Jin Ziyan came to pay his respects in the palace: ... Lianfang-jun, ever since that A-Xian started serving dianxia, dianxia hasn't stayed the night with any of us. You know I wouldn't complain if it were just for myself, but Luo-meimei, Qin-meimei, and Xuanyu have all been affected! That A-Xian must be a seductive fox!

And most importantly, from Lan Qiren's own trusted eunuch: ... Taishi, this old servant has served you for decades; you know my character and know that I would not dare lie. A pupil of mine serves at Hanguang-fu; he tells me that this A-Xian has monopolized er-dianxia's attention. Morning and night, er-dianxia only wants him to attend to him.

...I hear that this boy is neither efficient nor obedient, but er-dianxia doesn't seem to mind at all. He's...word is he's asked the carpenters to set up a separate trifold and sleeping settee in his room, with silk mattress and fur quilts for this A-Xian so it would 'more efficient' for him.

...No maid, guard, nor eunuch, nor any of the furens in Hanguang-fu has greater sway with er-dianxia than this A-Xian. He even dares to go against ce-wangfu Jin Ziyan. Heavens, Taishi....this is unheard of!

Wei Wu Xian. The one without envy. What a...presumptuous name for a street urchin. The minute the boy looked up Lan Qiren knew: this one was trouble. There was something he did not like in those pretty rui-phoenix eyes. (reference: shape of eyes)

Harrumphing, Lan Qiren seated himself at the head of the room and grimaced when he realized the calligraphy he'd witnessed his nephew and his....whatever...practicing together was a poem named Wuji - unrestrained. A creation of Wangji's, no doubt. The boy has really fallen off the deep end.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Wangji was Gusu's future. A little bit of private indulgence was one thing, but Lan Qiren could not accept some back-street harlot leading Wangji astray.

"Your mistress, Jiang-furen, is the most courteous, amicable gentle lady. Tell me, boy, where did you obtain the skills and the gall to seduce Hanguang-wang?"

"Huangshu!"

~~~

Seduce. Huh.

Is that...what I've been doing? I mean if sleeping in, eating a fuckton, and making terrible congee could be considered seduction, then yeah I'm fucking ace-ing it. Xue Yang would be so proud.

Wei Wuxian looked confusedly between a sour-faced Lan Qiren and a pink-eared, mortified Lan Wangji and thought deep and hard about the last couple of months.

In the back of his mind he was half aware that he should probably be terrified right now if he were a normal servant, but he was not a normal servant (and Lan-taishi was about as scary as his silly mustache was weird) so the only thing Wei Wuxian said when confronted with this outlandish accusation was flat out denial.

"I ...haven't?"

I mean...I haven't? Right?

"Huangshu, Wei Ying has done nothing -"

"Wei Ying? You treat him better than anyone in your harem, like a master of your wangfu and you claim he has done nothing wrong?! We cannot live unrestrained; customs and ethics of a home must be upheld. Is it not true that this A-Xian repeatedly act above his station, taken liberties where he has no right nor authority, and offended your ce-wangfu without consequence?"

Wei Wuxian startled when Lan Wangji came to kneel beside him. Now they really look like a pair of unfortunate lovebirds about to be separated by the will of the family elder.

What the fuck is actually happening right now??? Is this old coo-coo really implying that Lan Zhan... Lan Zhan likes me??? Like...like me like me?

"A person like him cannot remain in your wangfu, Wangji. I would be doing you a disservice if I did not put an end to this. He is from Yunmeng-hou's manor; to not offend the Jiangs, I will not ask you to sell him off, but you will send him back there, at once."

What?!

It was not until now, when the threat of being forced to leave Lan Zhan became imminently real, that Wei Wuxian suddenly realized that he did not want to part with the prince of Gusu at all, not for any mission he may have... but for himself.

[tbc]

[lillotte17]

Blossoms on a Bough

Fix-it/filler for the end of episode 36!!!

~

The first thing Wen Kexing notices, once his mind has floated up towards any sense of consciousness, is a bright cool light shining on his face. His brows twitch downwards in irritation, the intensity of it stinging his eyes even while they are still closed. His body feels like lead, and his thoughts are thick and muddy. He just wants to ignore the light and drift back off to sleep.

Wherever he is, he seems to have landed on something relatively soft and warm. It is surprising, since his general ideas about the netherworld involve darkness and cold, but he is certainly not going to complain. Perhaps, given the long list of his transgressions, his soul flew right past the Yellow River and dropped straight into hell, and now he is being fried in a pot just like that chicken that had chased Chengling around the Four Seasons Manor. The thought makes him want to laugh, but there is an odd tightness in his chest, so the best he can manage is an incredibly weak cough.

A faint rustling of cloth sounds by his ear as whatever he is reclining on shifts slightly. There is a vague sense of presence nearby, but he cannot tell more than that. Almost against his will, he cracks his eyes open to see who might be trapped in the stew pot with him, but there is only a dark looming blur surrounded by pale watery light. It makes him think of Zhou Zishu; his face bathed in sunshine, in moonshine, in starlight. He always seemed to glow with something intangible and dream-like. And Wen Kexing -helpless little month- could do nothing else but follow after it.

“Ah Xu,” he exhales in the barest of whispers.

A scent lingers in the air around him, crisp and lightly musky. It reminds him of burying his fingers in long dark tresses. Of the tenderness and care taken combing the tangles out of them afterwards. Of sliding his own hair pin into the carefully twisted knot at the crown of Zhou Zishu’s head. He should have brought him a different one to replace it, he thinks blearily. The key was most likely lost or broken in all of that snow, and now he will have nothing to remember him by.

This place is strange, wherever it is. Soothing and disorientating all at once. Is it some sort of hallucination? Did his soul get lost somewhere between life and death? Is he a true ghost now, doomed to wander the world in hopeless despair, witnessing joys he can no longer take part in? Thoughts spin around in his head in a billion tiny fragments. He cannot quite seem to catch hold of any of them, or arrange them in a pattern that makes sense.

“Am I dead?” he wonders aloud, his voice thin and raspy, not expecting an answer.

“You fucking better not be,” a cross reply rumbles out from somewhere above him.

Wen Kexing blinks. The sun still burns his eyes, but after a few moments of intense squinting, the dark blur leaning over him reconfigures itself into a familiar and beloved face. Zhou Zishu, leaning back against a dusty wall with Wen Kexing pulled more than half way into his lap.

“What…happened?” Wen Kexing wonders, head positively spinning in bafflement. Now that he is waking up a bit more, he is becoming more aware of his body’s aches and pains. It feels like a horse kicked him in the chest and then he fell into a river and drowned. Even wincing hurts.

“Something went wrong with the ritual,” Zishu tells him. His voice is raw and his eyes are bloodshot. He looks as haggard as Wen Kexing feels. “You collapsed. Your heart meridians were severely damaged, and your hair turned white. You must have used too much of your internal force. It has been more than three days since you lost consciousness and…I thought…”

His voice splinters and he trails off, looking away from him for a moment.

“But…it worked?” Wen Kexing presses, trying to feebly grip at Zhou Zishu’s sleeve, “You can hear me talking again now, so that means that it worked, right? The rest is fine, so long as it saved you.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Zhou Zishu answers, the first traces of a smile pulling at his lips.

“Yes. You are here.” Wen Kexing echoes, as though he still cannot quite believe it, “And…I am here, too.”

“You are.” Zishu confirms, his arms tightening around him, carefully tugging him up until he is all but leaning into his chest. “It was a near thing, though. My medical knowledge is limited, and even with the Yin Yang book, I was not certain that I could heal you.”

“Rong Xuan’s wife allegedly used the teachings in the book to heal his heart meridians and other serious injuries when he was near death several times over,” Wen Kexing hums thoughtfully, casually tilting his head against Zishu’s shoulder, “But she was an experienced physician. You have had no training, and yet you saved me on the first try. You must possess some kind of natural affinity for it. Ah Xu, you have so many talents, I am having a hard time keeping track of them all.”

“It had nothing to do with affinity,” Zhou Zishu huffs, sounding exasperated and perhaps even the tiniest bit embarrassed, “It was pure dumb luck.”

“Eh?”

“The Four Seasons Sect has a special technique that cripples someone’s heart meridians,” he explains somberly, a humorless smirk on his face, “I used it against Prince Jin to keep him alive, but bedridden. My master taught it to me, and as far as I know, I am the only one left alive who knows how to perform it.”

“That is very interesting, Ah Xu, but I am not certain I understand what it has to do with dumb luck,” Wen Kexing says smilingly.

“My master…he also told me how to counter the technique, so that the person’s heart meridians could be healed again and their qi could flow properly,” Zhou Zishu continues, turning his head slightly to directly meet Wen Kexing’s gaze. “I did not have much hope when I opened the Yin Yang book. You were slipping away, and there was no time for in-depth research. But…when I found the section detailing how someone with damaged meridians might be cured, it was obvious that…the techniques I learned from my master were based on this knowledge.”

“So…that means…my parents…?” Wen Kexing looks a bit lost at the revelation.

Zhou Zishu nods.

“It is likely that Lady Yue Feng’Er and your parents shared this precious knowledge with their friends, and possibly even helped my master develop this skill. I was only able to save you because of this.”

Wen Kexing furrows is brows, his thoughts whirling and his emotions complex. He seemingly stares at the dark blue of Zhou Zishu’s lapels for what feels like ages, looking but not seeing, pensive and moody. Finally, he lets out a very tired-sounding sigh.

“And I only managed to save you because that dumb bastard Rong Xuan stole the manual for the Six Cultivation Techniques,” he says, sounding bitter, “But maybe no one would have needed all this saving in the first place if that old monster had never let his idiot disciple leave the mountain to begin with.”

Zhou Zishu frowns down at him.

“I know, I know,” he mumbles, a bit sulky, “The past is past. Zhao Jing was punished and the rest are dead. There is no point stewing on it now. I have just…been angry about it for so long, sometimes I forget that I don’t have to be anymore. Be patient with me, Ah Xu.”

“Hm?” Zishu blinks, as though suddenly coming back to himself. “Oh, it wasn’t about that.”

“Then what?”

“I was just thinking that…it really could not have been anyone else,” Zhou Zishu tells him slowly, intensity burning in his dark eyes. “I said it was only dumb luck, because I never believed in destiny all that much before. If you want to achieve something in this world, you have to be willing to create it for yourself. But…for things to end up this way… It had to be you, and it had to be me, didn’t it?”

Wen Kexing bursts out laughing, utterly delighted.

“I always knew you had a soft heart beneath that tough exterior,” he grins, slightly breathless, with an almost pleasant ache in his ribs, “But Ah Xu, I never imagined that you were secretly a romantic.”

“Shut up,” Zishu grunts, pinching his arm until he yelps, “Who is romantic?”

“Ai, there is no need to be shy about it now, is there?” Wen Kexing says pleadingly, giggling to himself all the while, “There is no one here except us.”

“That’s right,” Zhou Zishu agrees blithely, a truly terrifying expression stealing across his face, “There is no one on this entire mountain except for you and me.”

“Ah Xu, don’t do anything rash,” Wen Kexing cajoles with a hint of genuine nervousness, “I only teased you a little bit, and I am still in such a delicate state of health. If you throw me out in the snow and beat me, I really won’t be-”

Zhou Zishu kisses him then, and whatever he won’t be promptly flies out of his head like a startled flock of birds.

The kiss is softer than he would have guessed, if he had gotten a moment to anticipate it. Clumsy, but tender. Hasty, but sincere. The mouth pressed so suddenly against his own trembles just slightly right before it pulls away. A thousand years too soon.

It is nowhere near the first time they have kissed each other, but Wen Kexing is almost always the instigator. It suits his own preferences to take the lead in most physical forms of intimacy anyway, so he would never complain about it. However, it does make the times Zhou Zishu reaches for him first feel more…something. Something that makes his heart full, and his eyes itch.

It makes him feel as though he is not only being accepted by this man, but chosen by him, too. As his partner. As his equal. As his friend. Lovers and soulmates and all the rest.

Wen Kexing is not certain that anyone else has ever chosen him before.

Not when there were other, better, options on hand, at any rate.

He swallows thickly, gazing up at Zhou Zishu with wide, startled eyes. Little flecks of cold mountain sunlight catch in the dark sweep of the other man’s hair almost like snowflakes. His grin is wide and fierce. Buoyant and hopeful in a way he has never been in all the time they have known each other. He looks impossibly beautiful, and horribly pleased with himself for managing to derail Wen Kexing’s usual babbling. There might be the slightest touch of pink to his ears, though.

“Ah Xu,” Wen Kexing chokes out.

I love you.

But the words get stuck in his throat.

“What?” Zishu laughs, “Do you ever get tired of calling me?”

“No.” Wen Kexing offers him a weak smile in return, shifting out of his hold a little so they can sit facing one another.

Zhou Zishu heaves an exasperated sigh, but his eyes remain bright, his expression one of incalculable fondness.

“Is that all you were saying during the ritual?” he wonders, half joking, “You just sat there calling my name?”

“Huh?”

“You said earlier that you had tried speaking to me, but my hearing had gone,” Zhou Zishu reminds him, “What did you say?”

“Oh, yes, it was mostly just your name over and over,” Wen Kexing nods, “Plus a few embarrassing personal anecdotes I felt like sharing. Once I knew you had no way to stop me, I really couldn’t help myself.”

“Lao Wen.”

“Yes, Ah Xu?”

“After all we have been through together, what could you possibly still have to tell me that you think I would be unwilling to hear?”

Wen Kexing makes a face, caught outright.

“It…is not so much a matter of thinking you would not hear me out,” he admits carefully, “It is more that there are just things that are difficult to say to someone. The more important they are to you, the harder it gets, so between you and me… But when a man feels his end has come, all sorts of things seem to tumble out unwillingly.”

Zhou Zishu looks positively stricken.

“You could tell that the cultivation technique was backfiring?” he hisses out, gasping Wen Kexing by the shoulders, “And you still kept going?”

“What else could I do?” Wen Kexing asks helplessly, “If I had stopped wouldn’t we both die? Would it be better if I had starved to death with your corpse in my arms? Besides, that old monster promised me that this technique could save you, so no matter what the cost was going to be, of course I-”

“So, you knew there would be a cost already?” Zhou Zishu cuts him off, expression like a brewing storm cloud, “You knew this was likely going to injure you, and you did not even think to warn me first? We could have prepared beforehand! You could have looked through the Yin Yang book and point out things that I could use to help you in an emergency! Dammit, Lao Wen, I thought you were supposed to be smarter than this!”

“Was there really time for things like that?” Wen Kexing argues back, “Your senses were already dying out one by one, if we did not try the technique as soon as possible, you might not have been able to complete it! If I told you how risky it is, would you agree to it? Would you still let me try to save you?”

“I deserve the right to make that choice!” Zhou Zishu shouts hoarsely.

“You do!” Wen Kexing agrees just as hotly, “But I owe it to Chengling to save his family. And I owe it to our master to save his teachings. And I owe it to you most of all. I ruined your chance at happiness. To rebuild the Four Seasons with Chengling and the other new disciples. You threw it all away to try and avenge me… The number of people in this world who have been good to me are few enough to count on one hand. I would do anything for them, and you most of all. How could I live without repaying this debt?”

“And what if I hadn’t been able to save you?!” Zhou Zishu demands thunderously.

“I didn’t expect you to save me!”

For a few moments, the words seem to echo of the cold walls of the armory, bouncing back at them over and over. The silence that follows after them is deafening. Zishu’s eyes are red, and his hands are trembling on Wen Kexing’s biceps, but he looks as though he is about to breathe fire.

“Good,” he says finally, his voice low and deadly, “Very good. You feel like you owe me so much, but all you want to do is torture me.”

“What?” Wen Kexing baulks, “No! Ah Xu, that’s not what I-”

But before he can finish the thought Zhou Zishu has already pulled him into a bone-crushing embrace, his breathing erratic, and his face buried in the side of his neck. Wen Kexing makes a pained grunt, his ribs still tender from previous injury. It only makes Zishu’s grip on him tighten, however, holding onto him with a furious desperation.

“In such a short stretch of time, I have had to see you dead or dying before my eyes over and over again,” he mumbles thickly into the silk of Wen Kexing’s robes, “You spent all this time chasing me down, pestering me to let you stay by my side, begging me not to die, and telling me to find things to feel hopeful about. But now it seems as though you are set on leaving me behind.”

“I never wanted to leave you,” Wen Kexing protests, but his voice seems to have lost all of its strength, “I just wanted to keep you safe. Even if I died, and you had to be sad for a while, you have so much left to live for, and I wanted you to have it. I just wanted you to be…happy.”

“Bastard,” Zhou Zishu laughs wetly, “Wen Kexing, you really are…the absolute worst sort of person.”

Wen Kexing sags in his embrace, his heart plummeting down into the pit of his stomach. His head droops, white hair falling across his eyes. Utterly defeated.

“I know.”

Zhou Zishu finally pulls back from him. There are obvious tear tracks down his cheeks, but he still looks fierce, regardless. He takes Wen Kexing roughly by the chin, forcing him to meet his eyes.

“You are also…my happiness.”

Wen Kexing gapes at him, for once in his life completely at a loss for words. Seeing an opening, Zhou Zishu takes the opportunity to kiss him again. Harsher this time. Brief and chaste and biting. It does not seem to help the other man’s sense of bafflement in the slightest. Indeed, Lao Wen looks as though his soul might have just flown straight out of his body.

Zishu smiles at him again, but there is still something sharp and wounded at its edges.

“Eternity would be an empty place without you,” he says quietly, “How could you leave me to bear it alone?”

“I…I’m…sorry,” Wen Kexing sputters, as though he does not know what else to say. He finally reaches back for Zhou Zishu, cautiously taking hold of his wrists. The ache in his chest seems to have spread outward, and he is shaking so badly that he fears he might not be able to sit up straight much longer. “I’m sorry. I just did not… I did not know how else to save you.”

“Mn,” Zhou Zishu nods in understanding, “I suppose I can forgive you for it this time, although some part of me still would like nothing so much as to throw you outside and beat some sense into that thick skull of yours.”

“I will accept any punishment you want to give me,” Wen Kexing tells him earnestly.

“Alright,” Zhou Zishu grins, “Then pay me back with your whole life. Stay alive, and stay with me. Always.”

Wen Kexing blinks in surprise, but the next moment he is laughing. Dizzy with relief and unexpected joy. Marveling at the gifts that fate has blessed him with after so many years of hatred and heartache.

“I can do that.”

~

When Zhou Zishu wakes up later that night Wen Kexing is sitting at the opposite end of their makeshift bed in nothing but his under robe. His back is facing him, and he takes a moment to stare at the snowy cascade of his hair. The living proof of what Lao Wen would sacrifice for him. It looks beautiful on him, as everything else seems to, but Zishu thinks he prefers the rich dark brown that he was born with. This new color comes with a twinge of guilt.

Not that he would ever say so.

“Lao Wen,” he calls softly, “What are you doing?”

Wen Kexing’s shoulders stiffen in surprise.

“Don’t come over,” he replies, “I’m not finished yet.”

“Ai,” Zishu grins, scooting close enough to lightly tug at a few strands of that bone white hair, “But that just makes me want to come over even more.”

“I have a knife,” Lao Wen says coolly, “I will use it if I have to.”

“You left our bed in the middle of the night to play with a knife?” Zishu laughs, not intimidated in the least. “Why?”

“If you stop pestering me for a few minutes maybe you’ll find out,” Wen Kexing snaps. Zhou Zishu is not fooled, though. He had caught the sharp inhale of breath when he had said the words ‘our bed’, and he is all but certain that Lao Wen’s threats are empty.

“But you’ll catch cold,” he coaxes, slipping his arms about his waist and pressing a kiss into his shoulder. He obligingly resists the urge to peek at whatever secret Wen Kexing is fiddling with, though. The other man sighs, but does nothing to discourage him, as expected.

“The next time you accuse me of being insufferable, I want you to remember this conversation,” Wen Kexing says wryly.

“It must be your bad influence,” Zhou Zishu chuckles.

Wen Kexing hums noncommittally, going back to whatever he had been working on before. Zhou Zishu sits patiently behind him, leaning into the warm curve of his back, listening to the steady beating of his heart and the faint scraping sound of a blade chipping away at something. The proximity is comfortable, and the quiet almost meditative, and before long Zishu is already half way back to being asleep.

“Alright,” Lao Wen says finally, carefully pulling himself free of Zhou Zishu’s arms and turning to face him, “You can look now.”

Zishu has to shake himself a little to wake up again, but once he does, he finds that Lao Wen is holding out what appears to be an oddly shaped icicle.

“…What is it?” he asks after a few moments of trying to puzzle it out for himself.

Wen Kexing frowns.

“It’s a hair pin,” he tells him, as though it should be obvious.

“Ah.”

“What do you mean, saying ‘ah’ with such a doubting face?” Wen Kexing huffs in annoyance, “Of course it is a hair pin, what else would it be? You lost the one I gave you before, so now I have to give you a new one to replace it.”

“I lost the one you gave me before?” Zhou Zishu laughs.

“That’s right,” Wen Kexing nods seriously, “But I promise not to be mad about it.”

“Philanthropist Wen is too kind.”

“It’s true,” Lao Wen sighs dramatically, “People are always taking advantage of my generous nature.”

He firmly places the hair pin in Zhou Zishu’s hands. Upon closer inspection, it looks to be roughly shaped like a tree branch. There are two lumpy circles that might be meant to be flowers attempting to bloom from it. The finished product is crude, but the ice is clear and crystalline. Pretty, even despite the skill level of the craftsman.

“It is meant to be plum blossoms,” Wen Kexing admits somewhat sheepishly, “One bloom for each of us. There was meant to be a bud for Chengling, too, but I accidentally broke it off. Hopefully, that is not an inauspicious sign for him.”

“I see,” Zhou Zishu says, because he does see, and just like the morning he had woken up to find the Four Seasons Manor cleaned and Wen Kexing diligently repairing his master’s old painting, he feels very much like he wants nothing more than to pull the other man into his arms again.

“Ah Xu, will you accept it?” Wen Kexing asks, slightly trepidatious at his lack of reaction.

“Of course,” Zishu smiles easily, “But it’s made of ice, after all. If I wear it, it will likely melt or break in a day or so.”

“If it breaks, I will just make you a new one,” Wen Kexing says, his eyes soft. He plucks the hair pin from Zhou Zishu’s fingers, reaching up and carefully sliding it into the loose knot at the base of his ponytail. “I can make you a new one every day, if I have to. With any luck, they will eventually look less ugly.”

He takes Zhou Zishu’s hands in his own.

“There are still things I am not good at saying,” he tells him, “Things that I want to share with you. Things that you deserve to hear. Right now, my skills are not enough, but just like with the hair pin, if I keep working at it every day, eventually I can give you something worth having.”

Zhou Zishu tugs him down into his embrace. He thinks about kissing him. About pushing him down and pulling his robe open and showing him, again, how very much he is wanted. But Lao Wen is still recovering from injuries, and it would be a shame to snap his new hair pin tussling around in the sheets. So, he makes do with holding him close, for now. Tangling his fingers in hair the color of starlight.

“Say them, or don’t say them,” he says quietly against the shell of Wen Kexing’s ear, “Whatever they are, they have no bearing on your worth to me.”

“Doesn’t that seem like my current value is lower than mud?” Wen Kexing laughs nervously.

“It means you are treasured,” Zishu corrects him firmly, “There is no price that I would sell you for.”

“I suppose that means I can stop living in fear that you would truly try and sell me to a brothel.”

“You really are a brat.”

“Ah Xu?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

[ouyangzizhensdad]

I have to say, one of the oddest things about western fans who “hate” (idk how much you can dispose someone while actively engaging with all of their works) MXTX is this assertion that she’s just a fetishizing straight woman (a thought that trickled over from white—ha!—ppl in fujoshi discourse). Because even though I’m not Chinese or Japanese, I have friends who are, and they’ve said the reason why ppl who consume BL keep it under wraps is not only because they’re consuming gay content but also because it’s assumed they won’t be straight themselves. The Actual stereotype is that MXTX as a BL writer, within the context of China, probably wouldn’t be regarded as straight. So this whole anti agenda just reeks of western cultural hegemony and racism to me.

Hi anon, 

I am no expert on these topics which are quite complex and multifaceted, and certainly do not have possess the cultural context to comment on the everyday perceptions of people who engage in BL in Japan and danmei in China. But let me say that I do find a certain irony that the same people who will label BL/danmei as “heteronormative” to argue it is homophobic will absolutely ignore the tensions that arise out of the fact that as a genre mainly produced and targeted at women, BL/danmei disrupts heteronormative schemes of desire and norms. It is from there that the sense of “abnormality” or of disruption originates, the one that explains the existence of the term “fujoshi”. 

Originated in the 1970s, this now fully matured BL subgenre has been viewed as a way to express repressed female desire and create alternative narratives for women under patriarchal society by its bold utilization of the female gaze and its subversion of heterosexual conventions (Aoyama 1988, McLelland 2000, Nagaike 2003,Wood 2006).” (Wang 2019:47)

In her groundbreaking research on danmei fiction, Feng Jin demonstrated that danmei fans sought excitement in transgressing the boundaries of conventional heterosexual romance and undermining established gender and sexual norms. (Ni 2018:10)

So it is not really surprising that I, like you, have heard some Chinese diasporic people discuss that they do not feel like they can let their parents or family know of their interest in MDZS/CQL without risking bringing attention to their sexual orientation. That being said, and while I cannot talk to the everyday perceptions of BL/danmei fans in their cultural context, all the media studies works I’ve read on the topic tended to emphasise that the majority of BL or danmei fans are heterosexual. Of course, it is difficult to take these things as absolutely conclusive, because a lot of factors (such as stigma and discrimination) may influence this perception that straight women represent the majority of fans. 

The thing I think that is often forgotten is that depictions of homosexual love or even same-sex experiences are not necessarily always received as a real or at least threatening disruption heteronormative order. Lesbian porn, for instance, does not displace women as objects of male desire and of the male gaze: it is thus not transgressive and there is nothing that is felt to be abnormal about a straight male consuming these works. In another line of thought, sexologists in early modern Japan framed some same-sex romances between the then-new shoolgirls as a completely normal part of their development, as a “kind of rehearsal for entry into adulthood, that is, heterosexuality and motherhood” (Suzuki 2010:27). However, at the same time, “postadolescent ome relationships, in which masculine and feminine roles were visibly defined [between female partners], were considered ‘abnormal same-sex love’ (hentai douseiai)” (idem). Perhaps mind-boggling for the tumblr university of queer studies but sometimes, due to spatiotemporally-specific contexts, a relationship between two people of the same gender that reproduces the gender presentation and roles of heterosexual relationships can actually be felt to be more of a threat to heteronormativity (in this case because it showed a sense of gender ambivalence that precluded one of the women from entering into normal married heterosexuality and because it offered a plausible alternative to heteronormative institutions like the reproductive heterosexual family). So even depictions of homosexual relationships between men, generally made for and by women, may actually be received as a disruption to heteronormative norms in some contexts--partly because of how female desires are made normal or abnormal in that iteration of heteronormativity. Things are complex, specific and shifting. Nothing about the social perception of sexuality, desires or same-sex love is static or global. Neither are heteronormative institutions.

To me it does not mean that BL or danmei are genres above criticisms, or that the fact that they can represent subversive and empowering genres for women, some of whom are queer, means that they do not have the potential of being at times homophobic or even transphobic. At the end of the day, my take on this is simply that considering the complexity of the context surrounding BL and danmei (a context that can be difficult to access or understand for Western fans) is necessary for critiques to hold any weight, and that we are poorly served by an all-or-nothing mentality. Dismissing from the start a work of fiction because of its association with a genre, without actually looking at what is in the text, is just lazy and dogmatic? And yes, may reek sometimes of the entitled white attitude that they, unlike the backward Other, know a thing or two about queer representation. 

And those are my two cents to take, as always, with a grain of salt.

---

Ni, Zhange (2018) Steampunk, Zombie Apocalypse, and Homoerotic Romance: Rewriting Revolution Plus Love in Contemporary China(working paper)

Suzuki, Michiko (2008) Becoming Modern Women: Love and Female Identity in Prewar Japanese Literature and Culture. Stanford: Stanford University Press. 

Wang, Cathy Yue (2019) Officially sanctioned adaptation and affective fan resistance: The transmedia convergence of the online drama Guardian in China. International Journal of TV Serial Narratives (V:2): 45-58.