#that baby is probably no one important Tumblr posts
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Hey so y'all know how Garroth asks Aph if she's sure about taking in Levin? Because her duties as a lord might get in the way? Do you ever think about how he was raised? And how maybe he's looking at Levin and seeing another kid who might suffer bc his parent is too busy being important to love him, and he's afraid? Because he knows (or at least REALLY wants to believe) Aphmau wouldn't do it on purpose, but then again, part of him still wants to believe his father didn't either? And the way he IMMEDIATELY volunteers to be in Levin's life, IMMEDIATELY steps up at every occasion, gets Zoey involved, ACTIVELY SAYS THAT HE KNOWS LEVIN WILL BE SOMETHING GREAT SOMEDAY TO OTHER PEOPLE?? He's making DAMN sure that kid has people in his life, and that the kid has somebody who unapologetically is proud and enthusiastic about him. I think he's making sure no kid ever has to grow up anything like he did.
#jeremiahs mcd notes#mcd#minecraft diaries#garroth ro'meave#mcd garroth#aphmau garroth#aphmau mcd#garroth mcd#levin mcd#i have big big big feelings abut garroth#again disclaimer I don't recall that much about the details of Garroth's backstory#but i remember daddy issues and important daddy#and that's enough for me#I think garroth's dad probably did not say he was proud of his sons enough#and thats why all the villagers are noticing him gassing up this baby so much#(many ppl but notably dale and i think kiki comment on this in the baby shower ep)#bc garroth is like that kid will always always always know that at least one person is proud of him and believes in him
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Let's Talk About Alastor
Hazbin Hotel is rotting my brain so it's time for me to ramble about it to no one in particular!! Obviously this post will contain a whole multitude of spoilers, so please don't look under the cut unless you're fine with that/have seen the full season
As I mentioned in the tags of this post, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about our beloved Radio Demon, especially in regards to the finale and how I think his plot could go next series, so buckle up folks, this'll be a long one
First off, let's talk about the way he fights. When he's fighting anyone, Alastor is big, and showy, and fucking deadly. We see it time and time again—he has fun when he fights, he enjoys the carnage and, most importantly, the terror he elicits from his foes. And that's why he was tasked with dealing with Adam—he's insanely powerful, and if anyone can take down the head of the exorcists, it would have to be Alastor (because obviously they didn't know Lucifer would show up to help, and Charlie hasn't fully come into her power yet, but that's another post). And he knows it! He knows he's powerful, he knows he's deadly, he knows everyone is shit-scared of him, and that's what he relies on.
And then the finale happens. He's in that final battle, and he's actually put to the test. And in terms of sheer power, for once in his afterlife he isn't the strongest in the room. He's actually outmatched, or at least on an even footing. And if he'd fought like everyone else, then maybe he would have succeeded—if he'd taken Carmilla's advice, I have no doubt that he would have won, or at least held Adam off for long enough that the others could have come and helped him. But he never stood a chance. Because he fights like an angel, and that's why he loses to one. Look at Carmilla's conversation with Vaggie:
"You leave yourself open with every swing; you fight like someone unafraid of harm" "Angels wield no shield, little armour, and fight with reckless abandon"
Remind you of anyone? Rewatch Alastor's fight with Adam—he's fighting just like he always does. He has multiple opportunities to take him out, but, like always, he chooses to play with his food. He's enjoying himself, he's riling Adam up, dancing around him, taunting him. Because at no point does he consider that he could lose this fight—he has no armour, no shield, he didn't even bring an angelic weapon! He just has his trusty radio mic (the source of his power? Perhaps... but that's a discussion for another post) that Adam breaks. And the genuine fear in his eyes, in his voice when that happens? He has no idea what to do. He never even considered this could happen. Everyone else is fighting for their lives, but he was treating this war like simple sport... until suddenly he couldn't.
And speaking of motivation, once again we can look to Carmilla's song to see why he loses when the other, objectively less powerful souls (Husk, Angel, Cherri, hell, even Nifty) succeeded. Yes, they weren't against Adam, but they were still fighting exorcists—you know, the same angels that have been decimating hell's population unchallenged for literal centuries. But they didn't die. Because they were fighting for what they truly believed in, because they had a real reason to not only fight, but to live. I saw it mentioned in this post earlier, and they make such a good point! Charlie's fighting for her dream and for her people; Vaggie's fighting for Charlie; Lucifer for his daughter; Angel, Husk, Pentious and Cherri are all fighting for their friends (something Charlie gave them, btw, but again, that's a different post). But what's Alastor fighting for? Power? Fun? To prove a goddamn point? I think he loses because even he doesn't really know why he's fighting. I mean, listen to Out For Love and tell me it doesn't apply to Alastor just as much as Vaggie:
"I see you're driven by your detestation Your every step is stoked with animus You need a different type of motivation Or there's no way that you can handle this I know you're thirstin' for vengeance, Vaggie You're out for blood But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love"
Which would bring me onto where I think his plot will go in future seasons (should we get them), but first we need to clear a couple of things up and try to understand his character as best we can. Now here's the thing, I know a lot of people are divided on the topic of Alastor's feelings. Some people say he genuinely cares about the others, while some say he's just putting up a façade and playing the game, and that all of the supposed evidence of his feelings are actually manufactured manipulations. But I think both readings are true, and also, neither of them are.
Because I think Alastor does care about the others, to an extent. But I also think he refuses to acknowledge it, to recognise that part of himself, that he's buried those feelings so deep he doesn't even know that they can exist within him anymore. I think whoever holds his leash (Lilith? The seven year gap is a little too convenient to ignore, but at the same time, now that we know where she is, what's her motivation? Anyway, another post) pushed him towards the hotel for their own purposes, but I also don't think they're particularly checking up on him. I think his mission is to do with Charlie, but I also think he's grown genuinely attached to her over the months they've known each other. Why do I think this? I'm glad you asked!
First off, let's examine his reactions in various key moments throughout the series so far:
This first shot is the most annoyed we see him for the entirety of the song Should Have Stayed Gone, despite singing with one of his (many?) self-proclaimed rivals, Vox. Now yes, he does look moderately peeved, but I would argue that it's much less to do with Vox, and much more to do with the focus on television and his constant fear of irrelevancy (more on that later in this post). Then look at his expressions later—
Now he's enjoying himself, he has that ever-present shit-eating grin we all know and love. And, most crucially, no one else can see his expressions during this song. No one's looking at him in the first pic, and for the rest of the song he's in his radio booth, so it's safe to assume that his expressions are far less guarded than when he knows he's being observed. Why is that important? Well, let's take a look at another Alastor-heavy episode, shall we? That's right, no Alastor analysis would be complete without a delve into Dead Beat Dad, so here we go!
Right off the bat, we're shown his dislike of Lucifer. I know some people say it was all for show, but I disagree. Hear me out—Alastor's smart, no one's arguing otherwise, so why make an enemy of the literal devil just for sport? Now, let me be clear—I don't think he actually sees Charlie as a daughter-figure (at least, not consciously, and certainly not as strongly as he was making out). The thing is, he is good at reading people, and all it took was one look at Lucifer can't-wait-to-break-the-door-down Morningstar for him to realise that Charlie's affection was what mattered the most to him. However, his hatred of Lucifer was not all for show. So why did he hate him? The fact that he hadn't heard of him certainly won't have helped (again, Alastor definitely has a whole complex, we'll get to that), but his loathing started before Lucifer had even spoken to him. How do I know? Take a look at the moment when Lucifer has literally just opened the door
Look at that eye twitch. No one's looking at him. No one can see it. But the sheer, unbridled rage is so evident that he can't quite keep it from his face. And all Lucifer has done is hug his daughter. Now, assuming the two have never interacted before (Lucifer certainly doesn't seem to remember him, and Alastor doesn't act as though they've met) what reason does Alastor have to hate him? If Lilith is his master, perhaps it's on her behalf? But he doesn't seem particularly loyal to whoever holds his leash, far from it, so that leaves us with the two most logical options: either Lucifer is the one holding his leash (not impossible, but I wouldn't say it has much evidence thus far), or Alastor is genuinely opposed to him because of how he's treated Charlie. Because he does care about her, however little he'll admit it to himself.
Just to really hammer this point home, I'd like to show just some of the many other instances of Alastor being genuinely furious with Lucifer over the course of this episode—in fact, seeing as we've already talked about Should Have Stayed Gone, let's constrain ourselves to Hell's Greatest Dad for now, shall we?
All Lucifer has to do is laugh at the start of this song, and just look at Alastor's face! That's anger, or at the very least intense annoyance—with ever-smiling-Alastor, the proof is always in the eyebrows. Then we get this wonderful sequence of expressions while Lucifer begins insulting him:
Oh, and just in case you need a comparison, here's a shot of Lucifer insulting Alastor side-by-side with two different instance of Vox insulting Alastor. And some people still think Vox is his rival and he was just messing with Lucifer?
Now you may say, "Ah, but that's not a fair comparison! Alastor was clearly winning his argument with Vox, whereas he and Lucifer were on a much more even footing!" to which I would reply yes! Exactly! That's why Vox isn't anywhere close to being Alastor's rival, and also at least part of the reason Alastor cared so much when fighting with Lucifer. If winning against Lucifer was as easy as Vox, of course he'd pick that fight. But it wasn't. At the start of Hell's Greatest Dad, he's getting straight up humiliated (as those four waiter-esque pics demonstrate). And yet, he keeps fighting. Partially for pride, I'm sure, but some part of him absolutely cares about the argument he's making.
How do I know that? Well, you see, first of all we take a look at how Alastor acts when he first starts singing. As we all know, Alastor's power lies in his voice—his face was made for radio—and he's (almost) always so much more in control when he's talking, and always in control if his radio filter is in place. In fact, the stronger it is, the more he appears to be taking charge. So, when he first begins to fight back against Lucifer, he immediately puts that Cheshire-Cat-esque façade back into place, quite literally dancing around Lucifer as he does so:
And yet, his energy is so much higher than normal. He's leaping around, his usually calculated movements suddenly far more erratic and energetic than we've seen him. For example, in his first verse alone, he goes though all of this:
Not only is he using far more power, he's become so showy, his expressions are so much more unhinged than even he usually is, his pupils are near-constantly slitted, and, most importantly, take a look at his colour palette. Right at the very start it's still his classic red and black, but then—without Lucifer even interrupting—he gets so invested in convincing Charlie (and, by extension, proving himself better than Lucifer) that he switches to what I have dubbed his Powerful Palette. It only ever happens when he's demonstrating his full abilities; when he's angry at Husk, when he's fighting Adam, when he makes a new deal, and... now. Arguing with Lucifer over who's a better father to Charlie. And while usually it's in brief flashes before he returns to normal, here he stays consistently in his greens and pinks, for a good majority of the song. You don't think that means he really cares, even just a little bit?
And when Lucifer has the gall to interrupt him with his golden fiddle, and just look at Alastor then;
Look at his face, look at his posture. Alastor, notorious for waving his arms around in grand, swooping gestures, is standing there, gritting his fucking teeth, fists clenched, arms folded at what must be an uncomfortable angle. The only time he moves is to concede a tiny step so he can drop a fucking piano on the literal devil.
Now this bit is so interesting, because he, very briefly, seems to believe that he's won, or is at least winning. And even then, he doesn't relax, he doesn't return to his normal colour palette or even his normal expression. He's still furious, you can see it—with Vox, it was a game. This is personal, and then when Lucifer is actually not only fine but still fighting, now playing a new instrument, (literally playing the devil's chord) to deliberately ruin Alastor's melody? Oh that's pure rage.
This first expression is his immediate reaction to it and, perhaps even better, the other two are him trying to contain it. Because he knows he can be seen, but he physically can't look any more collected than that; he can't control his expressions during this song. If he could, he would, because it would irritate Lucifer all the more, and he's more than smart enough to realise that. But neither of them can control themselves here, because both of them really, genuinely, care.
Then he physically places himself in between Charlie and her father, not only pushing him out of the way, but then going so far as to physically drop him out of frame with a gesture reminiscent of a Roman Emperor as he reinstates his claim over Charlie—again, feeding into his need to be relevant and powerful (we're getting to that part, I promise). But isn't it interesting that this time, he didn't even use his power? He pushed Lucifer with his bare hands, not bothering with the intimidating shadows or powerplays, because for once it wasn't about that. For once he wasn't focusing on the person he was fighting, but on the person he was fighting for.
Now this exchange is so interesting. Because Alastor misses a really good opportunity to get Charlie on his side, and I think he misses it purely because he (almost certainly without realising it) gets actually, genuinely offended on behalf of his friends. Because when Lucifer calls the others losers, he's insulting Charlie's family. Knowingly and callously! Right in front of them! And if Alastor was in his right mind, he would have absolutely pointed it out with a fake gasp and a shit-eating grin. But look at the way he reacts to Lucifer's interruption—the narrowed eyes, the tensing of his shoulders, the flexed wrists and clenched hands. That's genuine anger; it's too immediate and out of character to be anything else. Because he didn't intentionally goad Lucifer into saying that. And instead of taking advantage of the opportunity, he responds by, very childishly, asking Lucifer to "butt out" of his song. Because they were Charlie's family first, and he may feign indifference, but he included himself among them for a goddamn reason, and how dare Lucifer insult them like that?
And again, compare how he's moving and standing to how he was in Should Have Stayed Gone. In this gif (and Hell's Greatest Dad as a whole, but let's focus on this bit right now) he's glaring, his shoulders are hunched—he tries for his usual nonchalance by pushing Lucifer out of frame with a swing of his hips, but then is immediately betrayed by his expression, and his reaction the second Lucifer comes back at him. Meanwhile, in Should Have Stayed Gone, this is how he acts while taunting Vox:
He's so much more relaxed, he's visibly having fun, and Vox is the one bending himself out of shape to try and get Alastor's attention win the argument. Another interesting parallel between him and Vox in these numbers is when Vox is clearly losing towards the end of his part in Should Have Stayed Gone, compared to Alastor's first verse in Hell's Greatest Dad.
I mean, these frames are just a little too similar, don't you think? Both of them desperately trying to grab the attention of the subject of the song, duplicating themselves and leaning over the borders to try and be noticed... oh Alastor.
And now, finally, we get onto the bit that I've been promising for this entire post: Alastor's inferiority complex. The thing is, I think I've worked him out (at least, to an extent). We've seen time and again that he hates the idea of being irrelevant—the fact he doesn't like any technology beyond radio (leading to the real reason for his annoyance in that very first picture I used, when he sees everyone gathered around Vox's screens); his reaction when Carmine said she had not in fact, been wondering where he was; his reaction when Lucifer says he's never heard of him; the way he rushes to "remind people why he's here" at the end of Dead Beat Dad, and the fact that when he first arrived he took out all of the overlords who dared to dismiss his power, just to name a few. His fatal flaw is clearly pride—he wants people to know him, he needs to be relevant or he doesn't know who he is.
And I think that's the real reason he hates Lucifer. Because, father-figure or not, the two of them do represent the same position in Charlie's life. But why would she need help from a human soul (albeit an insanely powerful one) when she has a literal angel around to do whatever she wants? Yes, Alastor is powerful, but if Lucifer is back in the picture... well, we all saw it in the finale. Alastor was quite literally fighting for his life, and barely escaped with it, while Lucifer was dancing circles around Adam, shapeshifting, taunting, joking, and all the while he was periodically rescuing Charlie too. His attention wasn't even entirely focused on the battle, and he wasn't even really trying to hurt Adam until the end when shit got personal.
And I also think that's why Alastor got so scared. Because he almost died. As I said right at the start, he fought like an angel. He didn't even consider getting hurt as an option. And now he's having a crisi of mortality, and being powerful and scared is a dangerous combination. So where will his story go from here?
Well, from the fact that he's still at the hotel, I think that's evidence enough that he's being forced to stay with Charlie—despite all the very real evidence we have that he does genuinely care about her (I mean, they way he talks about shaping her to Rosie? The gentle looks, the fact he loaned her his mic? Don't forget how he looked when that got broken, it's clearly so important to him, and he gave it to her twice. Not to mention the whole 'wanting to be relevant in her life' thing that I've been going on about for like, half of this post. Remember what Rosie said about words being easy, but actions are hard? Yeah, he says he doesn't care, but... anyway). So, he's being forced to stay while he looks for an out in his contract with someone. But where does that leave him in the wider story? Well, I do think he'll eventually turn on Charlie and the rest of the gang, but I also think that it'll be temporary. Assuming the crew gets as many seasons as they want to tell the full story (never a guarantee, but here's to hoping) then I think he'll probably stay for a while next season but work against them behind the scenes, then make an open move against them, then be gone for a while, then start his long and arduous journey back into everyone's good graces.
Obviously his deal with Charlie will come into play, and I think he'll probably use it as leverage to get out of his deal. "I'll make Charlie do what you want—without hurting her, or making her hurt anyone else—and I get to be free from this bullshit" kinda thing. I also think it'll be very interesting when that happens, because I have a theory on what he meant by the deal having "clipped his wings"—I don't think he can take anyone's soul anymore. Think about it; we've only seen him even attempt two deals this season, and not even once has he attempted to add a soul to his supposedly ever-growing collection. It would certainly clip an overlord's wings to not be able to amass any more underlings—especially since it seems that the more souls someone owns, the more powerful they are, not just in terms of owning other people, but in actual, tangible power. So I think he'll eventually get out of his deal, and then he'll be free and he'll go utterly off the rails... for a while. But it won't be as fun anymore. Husk and Nifty will have been forced to turn against their friends, and Alastor won't care what they think, because why would he?
Except suddenly he does. Husk's silences suddenly feel a lot more pointed, and Nifty refuses to even look at him, and suddenly he feels something he hasn't felt in a very long time, or perhaps he's never felt it at all. He feels guilt. Regret. He wants friends again, because they were loud and annoying and they didn't respect him but... he'll realise that his affection for them wasn't all for show, not even by half. Because he almost died for them. And even when he's talking about it, scoffing at his own perceived weakness... he calls them his friends.
And that's when the real fun will begin, because the Radio Demon On A Mission will be a force to behold, and god help anyone who gets in his way, because once he figures out the love he's fighting for... oh, he'll be unstoppable.
#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#also this post contains baby's first gif!!#(and second and third and fourth. got a bit carried away here. as you can probably tell)#you're welcome#they may not be the best quality#but the eye twitch was too important to me#and it was all downhill from there#plus now that i have this skillset#nothing can stop me#this is definitely one of my longer rambles#which is fuckin saying something#and it has PICTURES#QUOTES#EVIDENCE#anyway i love this show#watch it please#i spent all day writing this#also it took me so long to get all these screenshots#rip my sanity#really hoping somebody reads this post lmao
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offers u alnst oc stats
#alien stage oc: ava#alien stage oc: nero#ava#nero#oc#ocs#20241003#so. i have a lot of thoughts about these#especially since i tweaked avas like three times#but i tried setting them according to the stats of the canon characters/what the aliens might rate them#esp the visual stat#looking at the characters sheets i think the aliens have a preference for ethereal looks (like luka and sua) but also like sharper looks#like ivan and hyuna (yes i think ivan leans into sharp)#till is more of the rough type so that's why i think his visual is rated lower#uh either way that's why ava's is so high and nero's is more on the middle (he had regular black hair before his season of alnst which gave#him less of a wild look so i rated him a bit higher than till)#ava is a tube baby so voice and talent are in her genes though mostly voice and visual were important for nova#talent would probably be higher if she didn't kill off 90% of her personality#she was not made for high effort dancing tho#NERO WAS THO LMAO#yeah uh ava's relevance/popularity/topic whatever the fuck it gets translated as is rather high since she's kind of the media's sweetheart#first love's smile and all that#nova put a lot of effort into her pblicity and it worked#nero's relevance is so high bc he's always up to sth and makes headlines everywhere he goes à la there's no such thing as bad publicity#i was struggling with mental strength bc on one hand he is fucked up (tm) but on the other hand he's not easily shaken????#like you could throw him in a pit of sharks and he'd make the best of it#let's just say mental strength must not equal mentally sound#his talent is on the average bc of this trait too like he's super versatile and spontaneous which makes him easy to put into different#situations that he might come out of successfully#uhhhhh yeah
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god tywin lannister deserved worse
just remembering elias death and i wanna puke and the way tywin talks about elia and what happened is so damn gross
but rip tommen and myrcella we all know what’s about to happen in the next book :/
the cycle of violence just keeps spinning and damn you tywin for beginning it
(i got a bit crazy in the tags 💀)
#rest in peace elia and rhaenys#i’m one of those crazy ppl who thinks jaqen h’ghar is aegon 💀#literally lost the teeny tiny amount of credibility i had#anyways i think doran’s in on it and i think rhaegar switched out asharas child for aegon paralleling the baby swap jon does#the pact made in braavos about viserys and dany marriages is a half truth half lie#and arianne being sent to faegon is simply doran testing his heir. if she messes up then whoever’s spying for doran will correct her#gerold dayne knows too much that’s why doran thinks he’s too dangerous#but this would make the dornish plot sooooo much more interesting and would show that no doran hasn’t been doing nothing#it would also automatically make the daynes more important#jaqen (aegon) was in kings landing to kill robert but got caught by varys. syrio was sent to find him. ned cleared out the black cells tho#saving aegon in the process. fun how we’re actually introduced to this character through lyanna starks mini me arya#aegon was able to kill robert with a boar tho so mission accomplished.#now he’s in old town trying to hatch his dragon egg. the stone beast taking flight in danys vision is aegon being symbolically depicted…#..as a spinx#i’m crazy delusional. but ppl who think faegon is actually aegon are even more delusional than me#plus the real aegon being alive fulfills the suns son part of quaithes warnings#i like this theory bc it makes the dorne plot more interesting and it explains whatever is going on with jaqen h’ghar cause he is sus#yes yes i know i’m delusional 💀 i just think it’d be a very interesting twist#kinda hoping no one sees this post at this point bc i know no one will take this theory well lol#i do think this theory can be supported by the text tho#and cerseis throw away line about ned stealing asharas baby would suddenly become peak foreshadowing#barristan comparign dany to ashara would also be peak foreshadowing bc ashara would take the place of gilly in this parallel and she was dis#dishonored by someone at harrenhall. likely aerys and then she turned to a stark probably brandon for comfort#tbh i think it was ashara who lied to brandon about what happened to lyanna. perhaps she was trying to mess with brandon’s wedding and#was trying to get back at rhaegar for humiliating elia at the tourney. i highly doubt it was baelish who lied to brandon cause brandon#has little reason to believe him and no reason to trust him. ashara tho? arthur daynes sister and elias lady in waiting? also his lover?#anyways varys the spider potentially stealing aegon away (if he did take a child it was the false aegon) is there to parallel the others#who ride ice spiders taking crasters sons. tbh i think it was aegon who decided he wanted to train as a faceless man so he could get revenge#on his own terms. and the sea lord of braavos at the time was in on it and helped aegon with his plans#the unveiling coming up is going to be a lot more important than arya just reclaiming her identity. yes im delusional lmao. rant over
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)
In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.
They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....
The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.
But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing
Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels
#I'm actually simultaneously a believer in grew up like brothers and absolutely down bad romantically#(and harvey as a representation of Gotham itself as a love)#like an election in two (three) positions at once#but the point remains- you can't really fully cover the care by slapping a brother label on it like dc tries to to avoid it being too gay ig#which is very funny because did you see all the bi Tim and Dick stuff in Gotham Knights- but Robin has always had more freedom than Batman#in the 'can we let anyone think he's anything other than totally straight' department#anyway now I'm thinking about how on earth-3 all the characters get a morality flip#but Two Face/Three Face is the only one i can think of who gets a gender flip as well#as if 'oh if we had just originally conceived of Dent as a woman it would have been better (morally) because then it wouldn't have ended up#looking so gay'#but no they did not explore that thread because apparently uh having love interests in the joker and riddler was more important#which you'd think should reflect back on standard issue harv eddy and clown but uh. not really no they don't want to admit it#and i suppose 'well no three face wouldn't have a thing for owlman because he's technically not a version of Bruce he's a version of b's#brother'#but like then again. if Harvey is his brother. then shouldn't something have been used there to connect it#in any way at all#but no#instead I'm left with many thoughts about Harvey as a brother as a lover as a personification of gotham and as a woman but#i am still very sleepy rn so i don't know how many of those thoughts are coherent#but all that to say#YEAH SUGAR BABY HARVEY#guess it wouldn't be comforting for Harvey to shakily ask what he is#and Bruce to answer 'you're my companion who i turn to for affection in and give you obscene amounts of money in turn'#but like. it also wouldn't have been incorrect.#... though 'sugar baby harv as part of the representation of Gotham itself' probably has something to it too#but i digress I'm sleepy#pocket talks to people#anon#* i meant 'electron' not 'election' in that earlier tag
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How many people who followed me after 2018 see me post something about Boueibu every now and again and think it's one of my casual interests and not like, a fundamental component to who I am as a person
#venlapost#the fandom isn't as active as it used to be and I'm veeeeeeeeeery reblog heavy so you couldn't possibly know#there just isn't enough stuff to share lol#but it's like. literally. the most important piece of media in my life#which is why i keep saying shit like 'real ones know' when i allude to it in tags sometimes#sickening to think I'm not primarily known as a boueibu person anymore#having a boueibu icon would probably help things. lol#but even though it's always number one in IMPORTANCE it's not number one in RELEVANCE#not on the forefront of my mind not my main fandom sadly#but still. still. still. if you followed me for persona or something. you neeeeeeeeeeeed to know#this magical boy comedy you've never heard of shaped me into who i am and helped me find a community to fit in with#its effects cannot be understated#you need to know. their official Twitter posted a cryptic announcement for an upcoming announcement#and i haven't felt like this in years#I'm BACK baby. I'm HOME. this is my HOME
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I've literally never understood parents who don't let their like... TODDLER age kids play with kids of the "opposite" gender. Like wtf do you think your 3 year old is gonna get up to????? News flash heteros people aren't literally born sexual beings and you don't need to protect your sweet baby girl from the boy from her preschool class.
Which also makes boy/girl friendships later on actually LESS TABOO meaning, if your kid grew up being friends with OTHER GENDERS, they will be less likely to see others solely as potential romantic/sexual objects and can actually have positive normal friendships with people of any sex or gender. Who fucking knew that if you don't treat something as FORBIDDEN then it stops being so appealing, especially if you have a rebellious streak
#its just fucking weird!!!!#like i know im a guy now but when i was little i was allowed to play with anyone of any gender. it wasnt a factor#my first ''friend'' (another baby about my age when i was like less than 1 year old) was a boy!!!#my parents are far from perfect vut at least they didnt treat gender as this all important thing that actually really matters#me and my siblings could do whatever we wanted with our hair and could dress how we wanted and i played with trucks and my brother played#with barbies!!! and guess what only one of us ended up trans and gay as far as i know !!!!!#also my dad took me fishing and taught me how to tie the line and bait the hooks and i sucked at it but he still taught me#he didnt assume i wouldnt want to just cus i was a 'girl' and if i ever showed any interest in mechanical stuff he would have taught me that#my mom taught my other brother how to sew just like she taught me and my sister. it wasnt cus of gender roles it was cus we were creative#our other brother might know too idk!! i havent asked. but my mom was basically a seamstress so she probably taught us all#tho i suck at it unfortunately#anyway point is stop making gender and inter-gender friendships such a big fucking deal and maybe your kid will actually grow up normal#''men and women cant be just friends'' only because you never let boys and girls be friends ☝️ 🤓
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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he doesn't know what this assless boy has done to bewitch such beautiful men and it torments him
I fell off my bed laughing 😭 your tags are so fucking hilarious like legitimately no offense but they're better than your actual replies
None taken I find my own tags delightful and am glad you like them too
#I will put more in the tags than in the actual post sometimes#I abuse them regularly#todo really is Megumi’s number one hater#he is so boring but the most important person in his life (his beloved brother yuuji) is inexplicably enchanted by his bland personality#and flat assed ways. his One True Rival The Most Beautiful Man On That Otherwise Dull Campus Okkotsu Yuuta (guy who barely registers todos#existence and would not consider them rivals if he did) cares for fushiguro like a baby bird. a pathetic and assless baby bird#what about him captivates them so. he is the unsalted cracker of boys and will never reach manhood#todo is fucking shaking terrified of what takada would think if she met him. would she inexplicably approve too. has the world gone mad.#Megumi feels that he was just trying to go to the damn vending machine and everything that’s happened since is unwarranted#todo would be there front row at the itafushi wedding but he’d be like that mother in law who wears white on the occasion#to be clear he doesn’t wear white. Megumi also doesn’t wear white. no one wears white. todos probably shirtless. he is weeping. they are no#tears of joy.
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So earlier today I introduced some of my WIPs to some new people, and I realised that many people might not be familiar with those two WIPs.
Kriya Petri: fantasy (with body horror & dystopian elements). Setting: A country called Fillor on a planet called Thuluke. In Fillor, to bind yourself to the one you love, you require a trinamate potion to seal the bond. 'Trinamate' is marriage (though that is a rather crude translation of the word). But to get a trinamate potion legally, the couple needs to be… acceptable. A man and a woman who plan to have at least one child. Yes, it's been 1000 years since the global apocalypse, but 'sufficient reproduction' is still a concern among the Filore people (plus it's a moral virtue for the Divine Monarchy, who reside on the cloudlands, with an iron grip on the institutes of Fillor). A potioneer wants to elope with their lover, but the pair is, let's just say, not acceptable. So what are they to do? The potioneer brews a trinamate potion on their own, finding the closely guarded methods & ingredients for the potion through who-knows-who, bunch of shady people. The potion explodes. The potioneer knows the punishment for something like this. They'll be condemned to Kaewoe (so will their lover, if anyone finds out), a realm so deep below the ground that it's close to the core of the planet. Kaewoe, where the mind & body are destroyed by the horribly high concentration of magic. Kaewoe, the names & lives & loves of all who enter it, all slowly turned to unknowledge. Good thing stealing identities is absurdly easy in Fillor! The potioneer wipes all memory of their crimes & love (or else the Thought magicians would know), flees to the city of Naebo. Their name is now Kriya Petri,
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Welcome To The Real World: scifi, fantasy, surrealism, horror, tragedy
This one's in very early stages Inspired by Frankenstein Setting: The Great South Asian Rip in Reality, where physics (time & space both) is just completely twisted. The year is sometime in the 2070s. Sometimes it's the 2040s outside the Rip. Depends when/where you step out. Moh-maya, reality's very fabric & everything that keeps up the illusions that comprise reality, are very malleable in here. Main character: Kabir aka Moksh. A closeted Indian trans man who lives a double life, perhaps even a triple life. One in which he's a cis woman & a regular bright STEM student (STEM studies also include study of moh-maya). Another in which he's just some guy with good friends (the most authentic of his lives), where he goes by the name Kabir & uses moh-maya to present as his true self. If only temporarily. (it's painful, mentally & physically, whenever he has to revert to the female form). The third is some mad scientist bullshit, he's going by the name of Moksh among his fellow mad scientists & his main project is a moh-maya Frankenstein's monster that others can share their consciousness with, such that they can experience shape-shifting more easily & go where they physically aren't, do things they physically can't. Let's simply call it the 'entity'. Due to many reasons, creating this entity is pretty illegal. Hence the new name & collaboration with fellow shady people. the plot, put shortly: he starts doing vigilante justice w/the entity & then goes far & gets more & more consumed w/work & things go verrrrrrryyyyyy wrong despite starting with (dubious but) good intentions.
in this second one i neglected to mention the fact that you, as the reader, get front row tickets to the main character's spiral into madness & justifying murders thru the entity + the entity is a whole person & has opinions + a whole lot of other stuff, I DID mention that this WIP is in very early stages but holy fuck i could go on & on about it (just not in a way that can be packaged in a structured & sensible introduction)
#i have re-written the introduction to kriya petri so many times because it's hard to know WHAT parts i should talk about first#and this introduction still isn't concise. currently i'm not really in the phase where nailing the introduction is super important but#it's still at least a LITTLE BIT important. but i never seem to get it right. i think this one IS an improvement over my other#introductions to this wip because it gets the MAIN FOCUSES across (and even without talking about the other major characters it at least#touches upon the issues kriya has which will be common with the other characters. so it works).#still not entirely satisfied BUT this is my 'baby' wip cuz i started it when i was 14 and it's grown so much in the past 4 years#and honestly i should probably just read a bunch of scifi (finish octavia butler's series lilith's brood maybe since i finished the last#book recently) because before i wrote this intro. THAT was what made some of the worldbuilding aspects 'click'.#i really need to make the amphibious nature of the thuluken humans play more of a part in their culture as well!#i just realised that so many aspects of this world have been DISCONNECTED! they need to be woven together!#it's midnight and i'm sleepy. why am i sleepy i could be working on this (or on my college assignments [it's okay i've got a lot of time#for them & am making progress on them at a steady rate])
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ichinyan still likes dragon quest. by the way.
#snap chats#like a neko#SORRY LOL but its very impotrant everyone knows this is important lore. for an au ill prob never mention again after today#my ichinyan canon already is that he was rescued by PEOPLE. aka jiro's Just A Guy in this timeline. probably#idk if he works at an animal shelter or still at a brothel but anyway point is SOMEONE brought dragon quest in one day#and lil bro never walked away from the tv.. it made funny noises and had pretty pictures...#does he have any idea whats going on NO but it makes his baby brain go :OOOOOO and he loves it#or. loved.#if i ever draw kitty ichi again i might make his collar blue instead since. he's supposed to be a Babe lol... why i pick red dummy...
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I've thought a lot about the several thousand year old gnome druid we met who was just bitter and jaded and had spent most of those millennia sitting in one place not doing anything in particular except mourning her tiefling wife who'd died millennia ago, and how disgusted and infuriated with her melliwyk is, personally but also as a gnome herself-- and I'm thinking about it again like. honestly I think it goes beyond general cultural values; that level of willful ongoing stagnation and joyless nihilism is probably completely seriously a gnomish sin
#melliwyk-- viciously and also meaning it from the bottom of her heart: you might as well just be dead.#zhartook- a baby druid who has inherited tana's sort of cosmic role- came away from that meeting with existential dread#melliwyk's just SPITTING FIRE angry about it. what a WASTE. what a WASTE of a LIFE.#I'll be lucky to get a few CENTURIES and it won't be enough to squeeze as much LIVING out of life as possible!#other people are lucky to get even just a handful of decades!#and YOU!! who ought to KNOW BETTER!! don't even have A HOBBY?? you're sitting here talking about how POINTLESS EVERYTHING IS???#you married a tiefling and act like outliving your loved ones is uniquely tragic for you? like you wouldn't have done that anyway??#... ah I got possessed by mel's anger for a sec there gfkjhgfd. point is I think the real core of the most important gnome values#is that being alive and being a part of the world is a gift that you're meant to delight in and make the most of#it's your PURPOSE to seek joy and fun! it's your PURPOSE to INTERACT with the world creatively and inquisitively!#there's something almost blasphemous about PERMANENTLY and WHOLLY surrendering to despair#something heretical about talking confidently about how little anything matters and so there's no point in caring#tana's probably got turbo depression but her own hot take was just 'yeah kids this is what being alive this long does to you lol'#and mel is like. no I think you're just really fucking bad at it. like are you aware people are still writing new books#my OCs#melliwyk#gnome stuff
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#look obviously this is not my fucking moment hence why this is an in the tags post#but. man.#'my heart hurts' is a phrase that was thrown around a lot by the adults in my life when I was growing up#& a lot of the time it was in reference to some real bullshit so I never really thought about it except to roll my eyes#but god my heart hurts#it makes me feel like a little kid wondering why it has to be so hard to help people#to know the names and faces and stories of so many people suffering & to be able to do so little to help#one person mentioned their grandfather was martyred & it hit me like a brick#my grandfather is so important to me & I know he'll die one day & probably relatively soon#but to imagine losing him to violence??? to hate????? it makes me fucking sick#I just can't understand it I can't make sense of it#feels like watching an older kid kill a baby bird for no reason except on a scale of tens of thousands#they're just people. just human fucking beings. familes & friends & communities & there is no fucking difference between us & them#like I know it sounds all john lennon or whatever but genuinely there is no meaningful difference between me & a 25y/o palestinian woman#I could know her. I could love her. people do know & love her.#the people of gaza don't deserve this. they didn't do anything to deserve this. no one *could* deserve this.#I’m so filled with grief and rage and I couldn't be further removed from the actual horror of it all#again. this is not my moment & I know that. but it hurts so badly I just needed to get it out.#please help if you can. donate to fundraisers if you can. promote them if you can't. stand up for palestine irl.
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i have acquired a mystical and powerful ointment (hydrocortisone cream) from the village herbalist (rite aid) to assist with the curse set upon my bloodline from many generations ago (eczema)
#feel free to reblog#ironically this is the one thing i know the least about and it's the one i've known about for sure for the longest#never seen a doctor for it (everything online says you probably should) because my parents never took me#they told me that's what it was because that's what my dad had and it looked close enough#they also said i'd grow out of it like my dad did (just as he was growing back into it hmmmmm)#so i'm not like shocked that this is cropped up again i'm mostly like. annoyed? and sad.#i'm annoyed because like - they treated it so casually it was a non issue#get some anti-itch cream moisturize etc#and be quiet about it until it goes away#so it came back every now and then and i stopped telling them i was getting flare ups i'd just get into dad's cortizone and put some on#until it went away#there was never like a plan or a regimine in place for how to deal with it#dad's whole routine was preventative (lots and lots of baby oil) with the steroid cream you pick up at the pharmacy if there was a flare#and i didn't even know when he'd get a flare because it never got brought up - so i didn't know to look for patterns or anything#and now it's hitting me and has been for probably longer than i realized and i'm just like#*how do i take care of this???* *why is it not going away???*#and like yes i absolutely should also still see a doctor about it just to like. Fucking get shit in my records#jesus christ the realization that eczema isn't even probably in my medical records fucking hell#IT'S IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT'S AN IMMUNE RESPONSE AND DOCTORS PROBABLY NEED TO KNOW I'VE GOT A FUCKY IMMUNE SYSTEM IF THAT'S A THING#LIKE CHRIST IN HEAVEN MOM AND DAD A TRIP TO THE DOCTOR IS LIKE NORMAL FOR SMALL CHILDREN#FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY DID I NEVER SEE A DOCTOR AS A CHILD FUCKING MARY MOTHER OF GOD MA WHAT THE FUCK
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so 🤷♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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