#that and I’ve been feeling like I can’t draw alice. whenever I do I feel like that just isn’t him

[dailyaliceyabusame]

Daily Alice for Today: amogus

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 84 

Oh what a wonderful day! Why? BECAUSE I FINALLY GET TO SAY THE LAST OF MY STUPID ARBITRARY RULES! The Final Arbitrary Rule is: No Crossing Over with Other Franchises! Which I very clearly fuckin’ broke here!

I wanted to do my best to only make pieces working with just the base of Junkan itself, and AU’s I made had to be original and not just “What if Junkan but it’s in X series.” That way when I finished the project a bunch of new doors would open up for me to have fun with! I know last time we had Alice in Wonderland, but given the public domain nature of that story I don’t find it to be an infraction of the rule. There’s a future day coming up that also kiiiind of breaks it? But also i feel like it’s a slightly different case, not sure how to explain it while you can’t see it. None of that matters because today we have a blunt, no fucking around breaking of that rule, and why?

Listen I’ve seen some of ya’ll draw/write Junko and Mikan as Pokemon Trainers while waiting for this day to get posted, surely you understand. I’ve been wanting to draw a pic of these two with full teams for months at this point in the projects making, I couldn’t wait any longer, it was a moment of weakness!!!

Designing the outfits for these two was super fun. Once again I’ve fucking put Mikan in a Sweater, and this time it doubles as a dress! Will I ever be stopped? 

That does generally bring me to the thoughts I’m having in hindsight months after this pic, I think Junko’s side is on the weaker side. I like her fit though I might make small edits to it whenever the next time I draw her is. But the main thing is I think the team I put together is kind of lacking??

Mikan’s? I’m perfectly happy with, Frillish is just there because she vibes aesthetically with Mikan, Blissey is obvious, Lampent because it’s associated with hospitals due to floatin around them to steal life energy, Clefable I can explain in a second but it’s probably obvious, Spinda because she needs a cute buddy to be clumsy with, but my favorite was giving her an Applin.

Like the whole thing with Applin is that giving one to someone as a gift is a declaration of Love. So of course Junko would do that, she’s all about that shit (in my brain at least). I think it’s cute!

Junko’s half of things though, if I’m gonna be real a few months later I’d probably only keep two of them and just try to remake the rest of the team. Gengar (who is also the reason Mikan has a Clefable, I love that old fan theory), because he’s my favorite pokemon and I think he just vibes really well with Junko. And Hydreigon, because Junko deserves a giant nightmare dragon. 

This is another instance of me concocting something for this project and then not being able to draw any more of it because I have to wait for it to be posted. So now, assuming I have time, I can finally draw the Pokemon AU!~ Like I said i’ll probably do some minor reworks, and then some major reworks on Junko’s end. No idea when it’ll be but look forward to it I suppose!~ 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[queenariesofnarnia]

between the stars and the moon {s.b, r.l, & r.b}

Sirius x F!Reader, Remus x F! Reader, Regulus x F!Reader

warnings: brief mentions of shitty family, and maybe unrequited love, no use of Y/N, Lily refers to her as Sweets, also no specific house mentioned for reader

wc: 1800

Between the Stars and the Moon

During her years at Hogwarts she preferred to float beneath the radar, never drawing unnecessary attention towards herself. She was kind to all no matter their house colors. To everyone’s shock her closest friends are Regulus Black and Lily Evans. Whenever she spent time with Lily it gave her the opportunity to get close with Dorcas, Marlene, Mary and Alice. She has had interactions with the marauders but that was mostly in class, and after those interactions she could confirm a few things Peter seems untrustworthy and she doesn’t like being around him, James is actually good for Lily, lastly Sirius and Remus are both incredibly handsome though she’ll admit it aloud. Regulus caught onto her dreamily looking at them right at the start of her final year, he gently  dragged her out of sight.

“My brother and Lupin? How long were you going to hide that from me love?” he could see that the question made her nervous. “Do I have to watch you hide your feelings this year or are you going to say something?” he adds on.

“Reg, hon it is not that simple” she scoffs rolling her eyes, though there is no malice behind it.

“I believe it is. You deserve to be happy with everything going on in the world love” he wraps her in a hug, he is soft on his best friend. She has been his light since he’s started at Hogwarts, and ever since Sirius has left she’s been the only one he can open up to about everything. as much as he loves her, he knows he can’t bring her into the world his parents have made him join.

“Reg I can’t have both of them” her tone defeated.

“Oh love, that is absolutely false. How about you go talk to Evans about it? You and I will talk about it later. I’m sure you have class with them so have fun” he kissed her on the top of the head before he took off to his class. She took off towards muggle studies but popped into the great hall grabbing a few pastries putting them in her bag. Once she made it to class Lily had a seat saved for her at a table, along with Remus and Sirius.

“Hey Lils” she greets plopping down next to her dear friend before turning to the boys, “Hello Remus and Sirius” she gives them a small wave.

“Hey Sweets” lily replies wrapping her arm over her shoulder. the nickname she was given by Lily in their first year for always keeping a pastry in her bag. “You got any to share today?” lily asks her tone hopeful.

“For you Lils? always. would you two like a pastry?” she asks the boys who have been watching the girls interact as she hands lily her favorite pastry.

“A pretty girl offering me a sweet treat. I could never say no to that” Sirius eagerly agrees, she hands him a muffin from her bag, “and it’s my favorite kind! You’ll never get rid of me now” he adds placing his hand over his heart to add some dramatics making her giggle. Remus and Lily roll their eyes at Sirius’ antics.

“I would love one, thank you for offering” Remus answers, she hands him his favorite pastry also.

“You’re absolutely magnificent, how did you know this was my favorite?” he asks.

“I always grab a variety of pastries before coming to class, but I’ve noticed through the years the two of you gravitate towards those. That’s how I knew what to give you” she admits with a smile.

“You’ve noticed that?” Sirius asked with his mouth full, earning him a smack on his shoulder from Lily.

“Finish chewing your food, don’t act like an animal” Lily scolds him. Sweets as they currently know her by laughs, to Remus and Sirius it’s a beautiful sound that they want to hear over and over again sharing a look, it’s like they had an unspoken conversation. Her laughter died down as the professor spoke, Sirius was too focused on her, the way her teeth nibbled at her lower lip as she was writing her notes with a pen instead of a quill. He has seen her with Lily and the other girls through their years at Hogwarts but never spent time with her himself. He has also seen her with Regulus, he knew about her from what his brother has told him. Remus admired her painted fingernail, seeing they matched her accessories on her bag and the ones she wore. She smelt like honey and a faint scent of coffee. Her presence has always been there, yet they were never exactly friends. She assisted Madame Pomfrey in the infirmary and has seen him on the days after the moon, he knew she was a bright witch, so he was certain she knows his secret but was never going to tell anyone. There was just something about her that they knew they needed. Once class ended she wished them a farewell, giving Lily a hug before waving at them.

“I’m heading to History of Magic. I’ll see you boys later” Lily waved heading away from them.

“Moons..” “Pads…” they spoke  at the same time.

“She’s stunning” Sirius spoke first in a dreamy tone wrapping his arm around Remus. “I might just be in love, she keeps snacks in her bag and just offers them out of kindness.”

“I agree. I bet if you’re a good boy she’ll give you another Padfoot” Remus chuckles, “but you’re right she is quite stunning, you think we’ll see her in another class?” he asks his raven-haired friend.

“Not just another class Moony, I need her outside of class. I want to see what she is like and get to know her outside of what Reggie has told me” Sirius meant business.

“Then let’s do that Pads, we’ll ask her to spend time with us” Remus in turn wrapped his arm around Sirius dragging him to their next class.

At the end of the day, she walked into the great hall for dinner, her arm linked with Regulus. She was laughing at his commentary from Charms earlier. Amongst the noise of the great hall Remus’ ears picked up on her laugh his eyes searching for her. He spots her with the younger Black brother enjoying conversation. He taps Sirius to draw his attention to what he’s seeing.

“I never thought I’d say I’m jealous of my brother” Sirius huffs.

“So you gave them their favorite pastries, on the first day of classes?! You minx!” Regulus joked.

“Reg stop” she whined pushing him slightly.

“Oh no love this is just too good. You were called pretty and magnificent by the two blokes you’re crushing on. I’m surprised you’re not melting” he laughs she hides her face in her scarf just wanting to be done with this.

“I don’t think it’ll ever happen Reg, I was only being nice” she shrugs.

“Love, once you feed them, they keep coming back. That’s why I’ll never leave you be” he flashes his picture worthy smile at her. As they sat down she rested her head on his shoulder laughing.

“I’ll never let you leave me alone either, I’ll actually drag you by your hair to spend time with me hon” she threatens with no malice behind it.

“They’re staring by the way” he lowers his voice only for her to hear as they eat their dinner. She goes to lift her head, but he stops her, “Don’t look love. Finish that bite first” Regulus locks eyes with his brother, he signals to his brother to meet him out in the hall. “I’ll be right back love, don’t eat my roll” he says before stepping right outside the great hall, followed by Sirius mere moments after.

“What is it Reggie?” Sirius asked his arms crossed, not used to his brother asking to speak with him in school.

“Siri, I need you to promise me something. If not for my sake, for hers” his darker eyes meeting his brothers gray ones. Sirius knew it was a serious situation, his brother hasn’t used that nickname for him in a long time. Uncrossing his arms he places his hands on his brother’s shoulders.

“What’s wrong Reggie?” his voice laced with concern.

“Take care of her, both of you. She deserves to be taken care of. She’s going to kill me for this, but she has fancied the two of you for some time. I want her to be happy, especially when I can no longer be around” Regulus explains.

“What do you mean ‘no longer around’?” he couldn’t stop the panic rising in his voice.

“Don’t worry about it Siri. Just promise she’ll be okay. Please” Regulus wasn’t one to plead with people, but this needed to be done.

“Yes she’ll be taken care of. But what about you?” he asked worried for his brother tears filling his eyes. For the first time in a while Regulus wrapped Sirius in a hug. “You love her don’t you?” he asks softly, he only got a nod in response against his shoulder. “Then why are you letting us have her?” he needed to know the answer.

“She doesn’t deserve to get dragged into the shithole of a world and lifestyle our parents have made me join. I want her to be happy, even if it isn’t with me. At the end of the day I get to see you happy too which brings me a sense of peace” Regulus’ voice was soft as he answered his brother.

“Then I’ll do whatever to keep her happy. But I don’t think I can bare losing you in the process. We’ll find a place where you can live with us instead of going home” Sirius says squeezing his brother.

“Bold of you to assume she’ll live with you” Regulus jokes, a hearty laugh escapes Sirius.

“I’m quite charming thank you” he playfully nudges Regulus making them both laugh harder as they turn to reenter the great hall.

Remus is now sitting with her making her laugh as she eats some dessert. Her eyes meet Sirius and Regulus’ waving them over, the brothers join the two in conversation as they sit back down. It was heartwarming to see Sirius and Regulus getting along laughing together. Each of the boys loved seeing the sparkle she had in her eyes. The conversation the brothers had in the corridor was not forgotten but pushed aside for the night, it still fresh in their minds. This moment is what mattered to her the most right now, as she sat with her stars and her moon enjoying life, ignoring the weight of doom that lingered in the world.

[uses-for-fics]

Tactona 420

Anders Holmvik x Reader

Another Monday morning and another boring ass meeting. Alice had been droning on and on about numbers when she finally introduced the new product of the week. Apparently it had been some toy race car that would link with a headset. Just as she caught your interest, she had lost it. She had started up a new rant about some meeting she was going to attend. You really didn’t pay much attention to her squeaky voice. The only good thing that ever came out of these meetings was getting to spend some time with Anders. Not necessarily ‘with’ Anders but hey, getting to sit behind him as he made jokes with his buddies was close enough for you. His laugh was melodic, his hair always looked so soft and fluffy. Don’t even get started on his smile, it’s so perfect. You always got butterflies in your belly whenever he’d pass by your cubicle and gave you a friendly hello. Oh but how could you forget his hands. Sometimes you’d imagine what they could do, so big and yet so gentle. It’s like you could feel them on you right now. Or maybe it’s cause they were, you hadn’t realized you zoned out until you felt Anders poking your shoulder.

“Hey Y/n, you good? I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute now”. He smiled at you. God if you weren’t sitting down right now, your knees would’ve buckled. Adam butted in. “Yeah dude you should’ve seen your face! You were so spaced out! I was going to stick a pen in your mouth but Anders wouldn’t let me.” You turned to look at Adam as your smile fell. “Thank you Adam.” You said flatly.

“Yeahhhhh. So I actually wanted to ask you, were you thinking on joining the Tactona 420? Blake, Adam and I are making a group but hey wouldn’t hurt to have some friendly competition.”

You smiled back at Anders. “I would love to!”

“Sounds good!” He got up from his seat.

“But.” “But?” He stopped in his spot. You dropped your head. “I can’t, I promised Jillian Id fix her computer today. Apparently she ‘accidentally’ downloaded malware when she was downloading videos of ‘cute cats’, I don’t know why she just doesn’t say she was trying to illegally watch magic mike again, we’ve all seen her ogle face before.”

Adam laughed. “Yeah it’s the same one you make when you’re looking at Ders! Ooooo burn!” He lifted his hand to high five Blake but Blake just shook his head and dropped Adam’s hand down. “Nuh uh.”

Anders chuckled. “Thank you Adam.” He said sarcastically. “Why don’t you go with Blake and start modifying the car?” Adam stood up with Blake. “Oh hell yeah, it’s gonna beat the crap out of all of your guys' cars!” Adam yelled as Blake pushed him out of the meeting room. Anders rolled his eyes. “Well if you finish soon, it’d be great to have you there.” He smiled but quickly covered it up with a cough. “As a cheerleader obviously cause we’d soooo wreck your car up quickly,,,,dude.” He gave your shoulder a light punch.

You awkwardly laughed. “Ha ha. Yeah dude, I’ll so try to be there.” You gave him finger guns. “Guess I’ll see you later dude.” He started walking out of the meeting room backwards not breaking eye contact. You laughed as he gave you a wink and finger guns back. This man was going to be your demise. You decided you should start working on Jillian’s computer cause from all those shady pirating sites she has visited, you could only imagine how fucked it was going to be. A good two or three hours passed before your back had started to feel sore from sitting there for a while. You made calls all day for work but at least then you’d try to distract yourself by drawing at your desk or walking around your cubicle or staring at Anders. It’s not weird! It wasn’t your fault that your cubicle was right across from his and it definitely wasn’t your fault if your eyes occasionally would wander over there and would watch whatever dumb activity him and his friends were doing instead of work. You stretched your back until you felt a crack and stood up.

Maybe you could find something to snack on before having to get back to Jillian’s desk. You walked into the break room to find Adam smashing his toy car’s cover with a hammer and yelling. “I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING!!! Oh hey y/n.” He put down the hammer and toy car cover.

“Heyyy Adam. Um you ok buddy?” You stood by the entrance, not wanting to get closer to him.

“No I’m not ok. Blake killed his rat and Anders doesn’t want to join my team so now I have to mod my own car but I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING!!” You shifted on your feet weighing if you should help him or not. You were basically almost done with Jillian’s computer. Probably a half hour more and you’d be done but, this is Adam. He’s always so moody and he’s always joking about how you like Anders. He wasn’t wrong but you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction, or maybe you could. If you helped him maybe he could help you out. You smiled and walked closer to his car. “Maybe I could help.”

Adam’s head jerked up to look at you. “Are you serious?” You nodded. “For sure! I’m clearing Jillian’s computer right now. I know a thing or two about tech, all I need to do is mod your car into being faster than the rest.”

Adam jumped up. “Fuck yes!! Let’s start building right now so I can wipe Anders stupid smug smile with my dust.” You grabbed Adam by the collar before he could head out of the room. “Woah there! I didn’t even get to say what I get in return.” Adam shook his head. “Uhh doy dude, you get to spend time with me obviously! What else could you want?”

You rolled your eyes. “Gross. Actually, I wanted to see if you could setupadatewithAndersandI.”

Adam’s face twisted. “What?”

You groaned and looked down. “I wanted to see if you could set up a date with Anders and I.” Adam broke into laughter. You huffed. “Fine I won’t help you!” Adam grabbed your arm before you could walk away. “Dude I’m laughing cause that’s so easy. Have you not seen the way he acts around you? ‘Look at me I’m Anders! I can’t walk around y/n because she makes my legs shake! I’m so stupid and tall” Adam’s walked around mocking Anders.

You grabbed the stuff for his car. “Shut up that’s not true. Now let’s go fix up your car.” Adam continued mocking Anders all the way to your desk. You had been fixing up the car for a couple minutes now occasionally slapping Adam’s hand away before he could fuck something up. He’d finally gotten distracted by something. He gasped loudly making you jump in your seat. “Adam! What the fuck!” You turned to him noticing the book in his hands. He was looking through your sketchbook. “Adam! Give that back!” You tried to reach out for the book but he scooted back. “No way dude! You’re so down bad for Anders!!! I knew you liked him but there’s no way you actually have drawings of him!” “Adam that’s not funny. Please give it back.” You kept trying to reach for it but Adam kept scooting away from you. “They’re not half bad, maybe if you showed them to him he could overlook the whole stalker thing and ask you out.” You groaned. “I have no idea why I ever decided to help you! You’re such an idiot!” Adam stopped. “Hey! I may be an idiot but I am not stupid! At least I try to go for a date when I like a girl and I mean really try! You haven’t even tried to make a single attempt at asking out Anders the whole time that you’ve worked here. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from me.” With that, Adam turned to walk out of your cubicle but bumped into the side wall.

You giggled. “Maybe you’re right Adam. I should try. How about we go win this race and after we’ve wiped Anders, I ask him out.” Adam smiled. “HELL YEAH! LETS KICK ASS!”

He ran out of the cubicle fist pumping. “I’m not done with the car yet!” You yelled but he was too far already. You turned back to the car, you had to fix this car like if your life depended on it.

You managed to finish fixing up the car not long after, finally arriving to where the races were being held. Adam turned to look at you. “Dude! Took you long enough! I’ve been waiting for you for hourssssss!!!”

“It hasn’t even been 30 minutes!” You yelled back as you walked to him.

Anders turned to face you from his spot next to Adam. “Hey! You made it Y/n!”

“Hey Ders.” You stand next to him and smile.

Anders face started to turn a bit red. “Ders? You’ve never called me Ders before.” Your smile fell. He quickly went to speak. “I like it! You make it sound nice.” You got bashful. “Ha thanks I guess. Just thought we’re close enough to use it.” You looked up at him. “There’s actually something I wanted to tell you.” You placed your hand on his hoodies zipper.

He looked down at you and gulped. “What’s up.” You smirked and then zipped up his hoodie. “After the race.” You winked and went to go stand next Adam.

You handed Adam the updated controller and started explaining the buttons. Just as you finished up explaining them, Jillian got into position to start up the new race. “Start your engines!” She put the flag up in the air. You handed Adam the headset. “Good luck.” You walked away and went off to the sidelines. Anders winked at you and put on his headset. You face heated up. At least he couldn’t see you right now. “Go!” Jillian yelled as she threw the flag down. Just as the race started, it ended. Blake had ran in a few laps left, Adam had blocked the tunnel causing a blockage on the track. Anders flipped his car making it a ramp so Blake could jump it and win. They all hugged and jumped together as they cheered.

After they had their little celebration, Anders stepped away and walked over to you. “Hey.” You looked at him. “Hey.” He bumped his shoulder with yours. ���Soooo what did you want to talk about?”

You got bashful. “I wanted to ask if you’d like to go out sometime.” You turned away from him.

“Like on a date?”

“Yeah. Like on a date.” You started getting nervous. Maybe Adam had been punking you this whole time and wanted you to embarrass yourself. Before you could freak out more, Anders had answered.

“Sure.” Your eyes widen. “I’m so glad you asked actually, I’ve been so nervous to ask to be honest.”

“Really?” You smiled up at him. “Yeah I actually didn’t think you felt anything for me and just thought I was a boring ass coworker until I saw your drawings”Your face turned beet red. “Oh no.” You covered your face with your hands. “Oh no no no. You’re gonna think I’m a creep!”

He grabbed your wrists and moved your hands from your face. “No! Not at all. I was confused at first to be honest. I noticed you kept staring at me and jotting something down so when you left to the bathroom one day I scoped your cubicle and found your open sketchbook to a drawing of me. By the way I got to say you’re really good at catching my handsome face. I’d love to pose for you anytime.” He smirked.

You laughed. Your face could physically not get any redder. “Yeah, maybe you should. There’s actually this pretty cool art museum I like to visit.”

Anders beamed. “I love museums! There’s currently a Scandinavian exhibit I’ve been wanting to check out!”

You slapped his shoulder. “No way! I’ve heard of it! I’ve been wanting to check it out on my days off!”

Anders intertwined his hands with yours. “How about we go together?”

You inched closer to him. “I would definitely not say no to that.” Just as you guys inched closer, Adam yelled.

“I did that you guys! That was all me!” Blake grabbed Adam. “Dude shut up.” Blake pushed Adam to the elevator and everyone started heading out too. “Well.” Anders cleared his throat. “I guess we should head back to work.”

You let go of his hand. “I guess so.” You got on your tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss. “Last one there is a rotten egg.” You gave him a light shove and ran towards the elevator. He smiled and ran after you. “Just wait til I catch up to you!”

[yukidragon]

I don't know how this site works and if this question has been asked before, but I can't stop thinking about it. After a night together with Jack, which was very significant for both of them, MC goes to open the door for Shaun and spends a lot of time with him, as if forgetting about the naked lover in the bedroom. She doesn't go to him to put him in a situation, but sits with Shaun and talks about crap. I don't know how to interpret it, but it seems sooo weird to me, What can that mean?

For this, I would like to draw attention to MC’s thoughts in the demo at a few scenes. First, here is their thoughts after Ian’s phone call when Jack goes to comfort them.

I’ve felt so bad for so long…I almost feel guilty, how he seems to make it all just disappear… How I think I… Maybe I might just… … ... No. No, something isn’t right about this. I feel for him...But something about this is too good. I won’t use him as a bandage, to cover up the feelings I don’t want to feel.

Then a little later...

After all this time… Is this. Love? Does Jack really make me feel whole, all on his own? Or…Is this just a hallucination too. Is this even real? Do I want to love…A hallucination?

MC regards being with Jack as being in a dreamy haze, as they themselves remark on in the “yes” route.

I can’t help but feel odd when I’m grounded in reality. The things I can see and hear and touch for myself. At the moment. Jack is all that I can see. He’s the most real thing there is. But after that, when anything else has my attention, I can see the utter ludicrousness of the situation. Is it intoxicating? Is that what this is? What is this dreamy haze that I find myself consumed by when it comes to him? …And I still don’t quite know what he is. No. No, I really shouldn’t be giving him this kind of power over me.

Jack’s presence in MC’s life is supernatural, and seems to feel like something out of a dream. When reality snaps us out of that dream and demands our attention, we usually tend to forget about the daydream for the most part and focus on the here and now. This could be the case whenever anything else distracts MC from Jack that he feels less real to them in the same way.

However, it could be something much more mundane than that. MC remarked that they were not quite awake and coherent when talking with Shaun. They forgot he was coming and panicked at that fact. These two things, plus their reunion, could serve as enough of a distraction to make them forget that their lover is waiting for them in the other room. Sometimes people are just awkward that way, and we’ve seen MC get distracted at times when engaging with people, as Jack, Shaun, and Ian comment on in their own ways.

Shaun Jeez. Nice to know you’re still a total space case, huh?

Ian Alice?…Are you alright? I snap out of my blissful trance. Alice Oh. Uh. Yeah! Yeah, no, I’m alright! Ian You’re totally spacing on me…Is everything okay?

Jack Alice? Are you okay? Ack. I jump as I return from the realm of warm fuzzies and back to reality.

I hope you don’t mind that I saved these quotes with my version of the MC’s name in them.

Anyway, it seems to be a plot point in the game that MC is the type of person to “space out” on people. This mild disconnect from reality could be part of why they struggle to believe Jack is even real and wonder if they’re just hallucinating his existence entirely.

If MC has this sort of habit of wandering off inside their head, only to snap back to reality when someone is asking for their attention, they could be used to just pushing everything to the side to focus on what’s immediately in front of them until they’re reminded of other things they should be focused on. This could just be something normal for them, or it could’ve been affected more strongly by their fatigue, Jack’s supernatural nature, or any combination thereof.

This tendency to disconnect from reality might also be another reason why MC is running away from nostalgia so desperately. They need to focus on what’s ahead, not what’s behind, though they can’t seem to help wandering off and getting lost inside their head, as we’ve seen in their narration in the demo.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur  

[yttdie]

i’ve written so much awful ranmaru fanfiction because i adore him and i can’t find anything about him. my phone passcode is “ranmaru”. i disguise all my fanfics with the cloud emoji and a heart i’ve been obsessively ordering ranmaru merch off etsy from like france i made arm sock bandage things for his birthday (of which there is no official date so i just did the day i started playing chapter 3) i am suffering so bad please kill me before it gets any worse

ive been staring at this ask for a week not because i have so many feelings about it.

the vulnerability of saying all this shit to me WHEN YOU KNOW its crazy. the feeling of comradery i get because i am ALSO this crazy. the pity i feel because clearly you are suffering but i am happy for you and your jpeg man.

cause you were so open and honest anon (and tbh i think you need someone to help you feel a little less crazy) i will tell you some of the embarrassing shit i have done for alice yabusame:

had a manic episode and spent two weeks making a little figurine of him. its my most prized possession. he's like 6 inches tall and a lil ugly but he means so much to me

not going to lie to you. started buying striped shirts. mostly because horizontal stripes do wonders for hiding your chest but there's always a little voice in the back of my head that's like "heehee alice would like this shirt" i own. 4 striped shirts now.

gave a stranger my address so that they could send me an official alice acrylic charm in exchange for a drawing (they were very nice! sent me a handmade bracelet with it too 🥺thank you biofspades if you see this!)

i have alice's wiki bookmarked. i go through his wiki daily.

whenever i am going through a depression spiral a lot of the time the only way i can cheer myself up is if i draw self ship art with me and alice :| its so embarrassing and even tho i post it here sometimes only one of my close friends knows about it (hiii petya)

[randomrosewrites]

Could you do an Albedo x reader where the reader is Klee's actual older sibling?

a/n: This idea is really cute and I kinda got ahead of myself and it's almost 3 pages lol

Life and Love

Pairing: Albedo x GN reader Tags: Fluff, domestic life, shyness, Klee being adorable as always

Albedo is first introduced to you from Alice when he first arrives in Mondstat. Though he doesn’t learn much from you, as Klee’s the one that bombards him with questions and chats excitedly with him.

Being her older sibling, you share some physical traits with Klee, like her pointed ears. Though the two of you couldn’t be more different in terms of personality.

While Klee runs around, full of energy, you’re always following behind her, carefully watching to make sure that she doesn’t hurt herself or others.

Albedo doesn’t see much of you initially, he’s always busy in his lab or up on the mountains. Though he does drop by your house as a common courtesy, or when he walks Klee home after a long day.

One day, he’s on Dragonspine, deep into an experiment when he hears a familiar cry. He turns around and makes out two figures in the snow.

“Hello Mister Albedo!” Klee waves at him. She runs forward and jumps into his arms, making him stumble backward. He shifts his arms to hold her better.

“What are you doing here, Klee?”

“We came to see you here!” she exclaims, cheeks red with the cold. “I wanted to see you so bad.”

“She wouldn’t stop asking to come until I brought her,” you sigh, brushing the snow from your coat. “So here we are.”

Albedo sets Klee down by the fire. “I see. Well, can I get you anything to drink? I’m sure it was a cold trip.”

“Ooh, I want hot coco!” Klee chips.

Klee drinks her coco then promptly falls asleep, curled up against your side, tiny hands grabbing onto your coat. It’s here that you and Albedo have your first real conversion. A bit rocky and awkward, but the more you talk, the more you begin to warm up to each other.

In the following weeks, your trips to the mountain or to his lab are more frequent. Klee is always eager to see him, sometimes bringing gifts of crayoned drawings or fresh fish (totally not ones she blasted with her pyro bombs). Albedo always accepts them gratefully, cooking up Sunshrine Sprat for you to take home and hanging up the drawings on his wall. It’s a warm welcome to his life.

Sometimes, on the odd occasion that he’s stuck, you’re more than willing to listen to him talk through his experiment and give your opinion. Even if you know next to nothing about what he’s doing, Albedo appreciates that he can talk with you.

Romantic feelings creep up on Albedo slowly over time. He finds himself wishing for you and Klee to visit him more often, he gifts you warming bottles and bioluminescent crystalfly cores to keep you warm at night, he clears a chair and a small stool to make things more comfortable for you and Klee when you come to visit.

Even then, he’s not aware of his own feelings until Kaeya jokingly teases him for his ‘uncharacteristic fascination’ in you. Which makes him consider the weight of his feelings.

He’s not really sure what to make of it. His relationship with you and Klee is very precious to him, he doesn’t want to ruin it by overstepping any boundaries.

So, for the most part, his feelings remain buried, only showing themselves in small ways. Albedo and Klee will gather your favourite flowers and then surprise you with them. Albedo asks Klee what drinks you like, then always makes sure that he has a supply in his lab.

Inevitably, Klee’s the one that lets it slip that Albedo’s feelings might be a bit more than platonic.

“Are you here to help Mister Albedo Draw?” Klee asks when you enter his lab one day. Crayoned drawings are scattered across the table, mixed in with official reports written in Albedo’s neat script.

Albedo, working on an experiment, freezes as if he’s been hit with a cryo attack. You raise a brow, confused. “What are you talking about, Klee?”

“His sketchbooks are full of pictures of you! I saw him trying to hide them when I came in but I saw them!”

Across the room, Albedo’s ears turn bright red. Your stomach flutters and your heart races.

Does he? Albedo only draws things that pique his interest. While he’s shown you some of his drawings of Sucrose or Klee, you’ve never heard anything about drawings of you.

You clear your throat. “You weren’t snooping again, were you?”

“Nuh-uh!” she protests. “I’ve been a good girl, promise!” she looks between you and Albedo, frowning. “...Did I say something wrong?”

You pat her head, ruffling her hat. “No sweetie, you’re fine. I came by to tell you that Mister Kaeya’s taking a trip to Starfell lake. Wanna join him?”

Klee’s eyes light up. “Yes!” She hops off her stool, stuffing drawings and crayons into her bag as she goes. Klee gives you a hug before racing to the door.

“I’ll be back before supper. Bye! Bye bye Mr. Albedo!”

“Goodbye Klee, stay safe,” the alchemist says.

She races out of the room, shutting the door a bit too hard. Some of the bottles in the shelves rattle. The tension in the laboratory is suffocating. Neither of you dare to look each other in the eye.

“So, you draw me?” you begin.

Albedo pauses and inhales sharply. “Yes. I apologize if that makes you feel uncomfortable, I’ll stop if that’s what you want.”

“No it’s...fine. I’m surprised, but I don’t mind.”

Albedo turns to look at you, head tilted slightly. “Why would you be surprised, you’re a beautiful person.”

His confession, pure and honest, has you at a loss for words. “I just...didn’t think I was that interesting to you.”

Albedo’s gaze turns from soft to alluring. “You’re very interesting to me, Y/N.”

Even though you both have your suspicions about the other’s romantic interest, it goes unspoken until a few more weeks go by. It’s almost comical how natural the transition feels, when Albedo suddenly asks if you’d allow him to court you.

You nearly drop the book you’re holding and stare at Albedo as if he’s sprouted a second head. “What did you just say?”

Albedo’s face is blank as he repeats himself. “I said, would you like to be courted next week?”

“...Albedo, are you trying to ask me out?”

“Yes...did I say something wrong? I’m not really used to Mondstadt romance customs…”

A smile spreads across your face and you can’t help the laugh that exits your throat. “No one says it like that. Who told you that’s how you ask someone out? Kaeya?”

The blush on his cheeks is all the answer you need.

Needless to say, you accept. The shift from platonic to romantic with him isn’t all that different from how things normally are.

Albedo’s not really one for hard labels or tradition. He doesn’t feel the need to outwardly say the two of you are dating, or even call your relationship ‘dating’ either. He’s romantically interested in you. You’re romantically interested in him. That’s all there is to it.

You do make a point to tell Klee, among other people close to you, and it goes rather smoothly.

“Hey Klee.”

“Mhm?”

“Me and Mister Albedo like each other. Kiss on the lips like each other.”

“Oh wow! Does that mean he’s my big brother?”

She’s very sweet and happy about it, even if she’s not too sure what people in romantic relationships do.

Dates are odd. Half the time they’re crashed by Klee, who insists on joining in whenever the two of you have ‘playdates’. Albedo’s schedule also makes it hard for anything formal to happen.

Affection is also tough. Albedo’s not one for PDA in the slightest, but anything behind the doors of his lab is fair game. Kisses, hugs, cuddles, etc.

...the only problem is that there’s been numerous times where Klee has barged in suddenly, making the two of you jump away from each other, embarrassed.

It’s never something that bothers you or Albedo, just frustrating. But Klee makes it hard for you to remain that way when she acts so cute, telling you about the latest thing Kaeya told her.

Whenever you do want some alone time, you hand her off to Kaeya, who makes sure to keep her entertained while you and Abledo get some alone time. (He returns Klee later on with his hair braided poorly and a bunch of hairpins stuck in it.)

Sometimes, when the weather is nice, all three of you go to starsnatch cliff and have a picnic. Klee chases the dandelions in the wind while you and Albedo watch her from the blanket, fingers interlaced together.

And on those clear-blue days, where the wind blows through your hair gently, drying the paint on Albedo’s paintings, you feel nothing in your heart but love.

It’s perfect, a small slice of Celestia for the three of you as a family.

[the-chick-of-the-air]

Ink On My Skin

Written for Jurdannet Roulette. Thank you to @jurdannet​ and @jurdannetrevels​ for hosting. Written in league with my revel/romantics anonymous group @acciomanorian @the-chick-of-the-air​ @ironicallyanemic

We used the prompts Soulmates, "I know you", and our own take on empath to come up with our own franken-prompt. It's a soulmate AU where whatever character A writes on their skin will appear on character B's skin and vice versa.

Beautiful Edit by @ironicallyanemic

Series: Part 1 of Ink On My Skin

Chapter 3

Cardan. Here?

I itch to grab a pen nub, a quill. Anything I can write with and start drawing on my skin, only to watch it vanish.

I think it might be foolish that it has become a sort of habit.

Rather, I grab the tray out of the servant’s hands and storm my way into the study. Cardan may be here, he may be in part a ruler of these lands but this is my house. I have the power- however little- to get him tossed out.

I barge into the study only to stop short.

A Greenbriar, but not Cardan.

Dain.

I have made a mistake.

He remarks on my actions, how I must be in a rush. Fear is pricking at my senses and I have to hold back from grabbing the quill off the desk.

Foolish, foolish habit.

I sink into a low bow, hoping he finds me clumsy only. My thoughts race. Could his being here be Cardan’s doing?

My skin burns. I want it covered in ink.

I swallow my fear and stumble through an introduction, offering him the wine I’d taken from the servant. We exchange a few words. Conversation. He wants conversation. I want to scribble on my skin, watch it fade away like my body absorbs it. I can’t wonder about where it goes right now.

I rub at the missing tip of my finger instead.

When I tell Dain that, no, none of his brothers are causing me trouble, he finds me fascinating. Mortals can lie. He says. He’s never seen it up close, he says. He wants me to be his little liar. He doesn’t say.

But it’s what he wants.

When I ask him why he’s made an appearance, what he wants here, he answers my question with a question.

What do I want? Something I have always wanted, never dared speak.

I want to say “make me immortal” before I feel myself cringing. I don’t want to want that.

It occurs to me I could ask that whenever I write on my skin, it stays on my skin. For my words to finally be mine and mine alone. But then that would lead him to question who receives the runaway ink. I’m not stupid. Oriana told us what it was like to have a soulmate. I just don’t know who lurks on the other side.

I try to keep from recoiling when I ponder the fact that they might be dead. I’ve never received anything from them.

It might be worse if they’ve been ignoring me all this time.

Before I can let my thoughts spiral, before I lose control and throw myself at that quill, I say, “I want to be able to resist enchantment.”

It feels like it shouldn’t be this easy. A Prince has waltzed into my home and offered me my greatest desires and for what?

Ah. He wants a spy. My heart can sink through the floorboards but I won't let it show. He explains there will be room for growth, for freedom, for power once he is crowned High King.

Foolish habits. I clench my fists to keep from tracing letters on my skin.

I accept. What more could I want at the moment? At least now I’ll be going somewhere.

He grants me a Geas, awesome. With the catch that he can still enscroll me. Less awesome.

Dinner is a quiet and proper affair without Vivi there and by the time I am done arguing with Taryn on our way up to bed, I am ready to pour my feelings out onto my skin.

I remember the first time it happened. How I thought it was the potion in the bottle that made the marks disappear. I know better now. The day I revealed what the “magic ink” could do… I think that’s the closest I’ve ever seen Oriana come to happiness for me.

I throw myself down into the chair at my vanity. I pick up a quill and dip it in ink.

I doubt anyone is actually getting these notes, these messages. That is why I am so comfortable with bleeding my feelings out onto my skin as though I am a living diary to be filled. It makes me feel better, writing out my thoughts. And maybe the thought that there might be someone out there, sharing in my troubles, well…

I shake my head and put ink to skin.

~.~

I am now a spy for Prince Dain.

Knighthood was my dream, my future, my solidified place in this forsaken land. Losing it would have broken a lesser mind, and I could hardly stand the thought of having no clear path before me, but this…this power. This station within the court is the next best thing.

I cannot say what will come of this, and I cannot imagine what my first task will be, but it is a start to something.

I have sworn to be the greatest. So even in the shadows, I will outshine them all.

I can barely transcribe the letters fast enough. They are excited, nervous maybe, whoever they are.

“I have sworn to be the greatest” I know exactly who that sounds like but I dare not let myself even consider the possibility. It’s already too much. My every thought, action, dream and nightmare. They are already filled with her.

It’s nearly enough to make even me sick. I pride myself- secretly- on the fact that I am no infidel. Not when I have committed myself to someone.

When I was with Nicasia, I was hers alone, even though some part of me knew I… that there was…is someone on the other side of this soulmate bond.

Being with Nicasia had been a prize I had won. Somehow she had seen me and seen something in me she wanted for herself.

Her infidelity came as such a strong blow, I almost wondered if there was in fact a method to this soulmate madness. If Nicasia wasn’t mine to keep, if whoever was on the other side of these inked messages was the one I was supposed to be with…

I suppose, in a sense, I did feel like I was cheating someone, somehow, even if I was sure for the longest time that whoever had written that first message was long gone. Dead, most likely. But then the constant scribbling upon my arms and sometimes thighs would only serve as a striking reminder that whatever I’d had with the fish princess was never going to last.

I don’t know how I ended up deciding to make a habit of recording everything they wrote, but I can hardly stop now. It’s a daily routine, an addiction. Not unlike my taste for faerie wine and a certain pair of angry auburn eyes.

I want to rub the stress out of my eyes but then I might miss something being written. It’s the same everyday now. Whoever is on the other side ends their day with writing about it.

One would think I’d have enough information at this point to figure out who it is that’s writing all this, all so suddenly. But they have never given their name, their place, nothing.

Or perhaps they have and whatever cruel magic that drives these bonds has decided it would be funny to withhold such information from me.

They have stopped writing for the night. The ink fades away as quickly as it appeared and I am left with the copy I have made, drying in a thick parchment heavy book that I have used to record every sentence, every word for weeks now. I sigh as I shove it back into its place on my bookshelf next to my copy of Alice in Wonderland. I try not to think of the piece of parchment I have hidden in there, of what name is scratched out over and over again on it.

Madness. All of it.

Perhaps one day I will find who it is that lurks on the other side of our bond. Perhaps I might even come to like them. For now, I climb into bed and try not to grieve the fact that they are nothing more than ink on my skin.

[thecomposerofstories]

Information on Amy.

(Be warned it's a ~little bit~ long, any other pieces of information you want to know I'll gladly answer if you ask.)

~General Information~

Fandom: Toy Story.

Name: Amy the Ragdoll.

Nickname, if any: Amy, Ames, and Doll-Face(usually by more villainous characters or used in a joking manner).

Gender: Female.

Sexuality: ??? (I mean I know the gender of who she has a crush on, but I'm unsure on what her actual sexuality should be tbh)

Age: Mentally, mid-twenties in the first story second movie, thirties to forties in the third and fourth. Physically, she doesn’t have an age, but in regards to when she was made (the 1950’s) makes her fifty to sixty.

City they currently live in: San Francisco, apparently that’s where Toy Story takes place.

Any pets: Would Rex count? He just follows her around like a nervous puppy.

Current occupation: I mean she’s practically a therapist, but she’s a toy and she only treats Rex so it probably doesn’t count lol

~Physical Appearance~

Height: 10 inches.

Body type: Stocky, but a bit gangly too, similar to Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Eye colour: Black.

Skin tone: Light.

Clothing style: Pale green/turquoise shirt with short puffed sleeves, with a denim dungaree dress with a daisy print in the centre over it. She wears yellow rain boots.

Hairstyle: No style, it’s just there. It’s messy and gets in her face easily and is made out of dark brown thin string.

~Speech/Language/Communication~

Amy speaks quietly and politely, rambles a bit if left without a reply or under pressure, very nervous in front of intimidating characters.

First language: English.

Learned languages: A bit of Spanish (Ya’ll remember Toy Story 3!)

Accent: American.

Pitch of voice: High, but soft, not quite annoying, unless she’s stressed, then it gets very pitchy and shrill.

~Behaviour/Habits~

Amy tends to just stand there when she can’t find anything to do, and will immediately try to find Rex, Hamm, Buzz or Jessie if surrounded by strangers (Though she’s not sure if it’s for their comfort or her own) Amy is very polite.

Spending habits: She doesn’t like to be made a fuss of at all, the very fact of someone giving something to her is unnerving (even if the thing never costed anything at all) and she feels compelled to give the giver something in return.

Morning routine: She gets up same time as the others, but wishes she could stay in bed a bit longer though. Before she came to Andy’s room, her sleep pattern was all over the place.

Bedtime routine: Similar to above, now she goes to bed the same time as the others, but before she just slept and got up willy-nilly.

Nervous habits: Amy will try to find Rex if she’s nervous, and she’ll pretend it’s because she’s worried for him, which is quite true, but she also just feels most safe with him. Speaking of, Amy will let Rex hold her hand and squish it whenever he or Amy is nervous, it’s calming to the both of them.

Bad habits: Not a very good exerciser, but then again, she’s spend basically half her life in a small attic, so I’ll give her a break.

Skills/talents: She’ very logical, mind-over-matter, (mostly, very good at calming others down and/or convincing them. She’s very good at spelling and knows quite a lot of words, some of which others haven’t even heard of.

Hobbies: Reading, talking (especially with Rex, Jessie or Hamm), and generally just lazing about or walking around somewhere, on her own or with a friend.

~The Past~

Amy’s first owner was a little girl called Alice. Alice loved nothing more than to read Amy stories (Mostly fairy tales), but of course, Alice grew up like all kids do, and she left Amy in the attic for someone else to have her.

Amy waited for many years, and all that time she’d never given up that someone would find her.

She thought she’s hit the jackpot when Andy and his family move into Alice’s old house, but they don’t go up into the attic to collect her. Some weeks later, though, Andy’s mother brings a set of boxes filled with junk into the attic and leaves. Woody, Buzz, Slinky, and Rex were trapped in one of the boxes (Call me a cheater but this part was actually inspired by a Toy Story comic, where those four toys get stuck in the attic that way and have to escape. It struck me odd that they never met at least one new friend there, so I made one. It was also my first story, I needed some inspiration!)

Amy, in a fit of panic, goes and hides.

But then she’s found by Rex as he and the others try to find a way out.

They then decide to let the strange, dust-covered ragdoll come back to Andy’s rom with them. (well, Rex did, anyway.)

Home town: Would Alice’s old room count? But it’s now Andy’s Room, so it won’t count will it?

Happy or sad childhood: Pretty normal to be honest, as normal a life as a toy could have anyway. And as for sadness, having spent all that time on her own for all those years, having missed out on so much, is a little sad. But Amy made sure she never became bitter over it or used it as an excuse for anything.

Earliest memory: Waking up in her toy store, with a friend of hers for company (a ragdoll Prospector, a much as she remembers) and as she gets bought by Alice’s Auntie, she says she hopes he gets picked up by a kid. (Unbeknownst to her, she would meet him again in a while to find out he never got to experience it)

Saddest memory: One, being left by Alice, yet being so happy for her and how much she’s grown up, if she could cry tears of joy for her owner, she would. Two, some (or most) of the days she spent waiting for a new owner to arrive. And three, watching Rex have a mental breakdown of anxiety.

Happiest memory: One, the time she and Alice went to the park, (Amy absolutely adores nature) Two after sliding down a drainpipe to get to Andy’s room, and three, having known she’d helped her friend out.

Significant events: Being bought, being left in an attic, being rescued from the attic, while gaining some new friends.

~Family~

The entirety of Andy’s room, whether they like it or not, they’re all in this together and are some kind of mish-mash, found family in a sense.

Siblings: I’ve been thinking of giving Amy a brother (since I based her on Raggedy Ann, a matching bootleg Raggedy Andy seems reasonable) bur I’m unsure about it, since I’ve already mapped out Amy’s entire series of stories (Around six or seven all together, so far I’m currently writing only the third) and I can only fit him in the fifth or sixth if I can.

~Relationships~

Romantically? I’d like to say she has a crush on Rex, I don’t know why I thought of it, I was contemplating it one day as I sketched a rough (and terrible) sketch of her, and I drew Rex too because he’s just so fun to draw and I wanted to make a scale for Amy’s size, and one of my friends (who had been watching me) immediately said “I ship it!” and well, the rest is history, I made the decision to ship it too.

Friends: Jessie, Hamm, Buzz, and Rex are her closet friends, but she’d like to say that all the Gang are her friends. Later on she becomes good friends with Mr. Prickle Pants, Buttercup, Trixie and Totoro, and she absolutely loves the peas and Forky.

Best friend(s): Hamm, Mr. Prickle Pants, Jessie, and Rex.

What do people like about them? Amy’s pretty easy to talk to, she’s polite and attentive and will sit in companionable silence with someone if they need it. But she won’t hesitate to give hard truths and advice if it’s needed.

What do people dislike about them? Amy is quite a doormat, if someone is rude to her or breaches anything she just lets it happen, and sometimes she’s too indecisive about her own stuff, unsure whether she’s going to offend others or not over the smallest things, which annoys others quite a bit.

~Mentality/Personal Beliefs~

Amy is a toy of logic, and though she believes others can do it if they set their minds to it, she doesn’t quite believe in herself. She believes she must follow the rules of being a toy at all times, no matter what.

Phobias: Dust. She hates it. It took a good five weeks to brush all the dust out her hair and clothes, and even so there’s still some in her pockets and places she can’t reach. And being alone, too. Now she can’t be alone for more than an hour before she starts to get antsy and nervous. And for a short time books gave her a strange tiredness, after reading them for so long and for so many years she couldn’t even stand the sight of them.

But of course, not for long, since Amy found out Andy had a copy of Red’s Dream by a Mr. William Reeves.

Optimist or pessimist: Depends on the situation really, if her mind can’t come up with a solution, then there’s no point in trying anymore. Unless someone else can think of something, that is.

Personal philosophies: “You are here to make good things happen. No person here is made for one reason only, or even only one. There’s no point in pretending to be someone you’re not just for the attention of others, no matter how cool they are. We should find are own meaning, as we’re the only ones who have control of it.

It’ll take a while, but I swear, it’ll be worth it.”

Biggest dream/wish: Amy wants nothing more than to find meaning for herself, but finds it rather hard to do so. Of course, that doesn’t mean she’ll settle for someone else’s meaning. As cheesy as it sounds, she just wants an adventure. She doesn’t necessarily want to be the hero, though, she’s just happy to go along with the ride so long as it gets her out the house for a few hours. She also, above all else, wants Rex to find meaning too, even if she never does, it would be nice to know that he had.

Greatest strength(s): Persuasion, story-telling, logic, and good grammar.

Biggest flaw: Despite being a ragdoll, Amy can’t sew because of her fingerless hands, which are just soft mittens in shape. Amy is also quite a doormat, as I said before, so if her calm persuasion and reasoning doesn’t work, she’s left to be walked all over.

Regrets: Staying in that dratted attic too long, the window was open, she could’ve just climbed out, but no, she had to stay there for some mind-rotting decades. But if she had just escaped, she would never have met her new friends. Amy just wishes she had met them a lot sooner.

Achievements: Escaped the attic, slid down a drainpipe, leapt onto the windowsill (though nearly knocking Woody and Buzz over in the process) stopped her friend from having a panic attack, and managed to remember the entire Dictionary and is able to recite it down from A to Z, and even Z to A.

Secrets: Not much, just strange feelings for one of her friends, but it’s not much of a secret, Bo knows, and Mr. Potato Head and Hamm could see it from a mile away, and the others have their suspicions.

Goals: Read the entirety of Andy’s (and later Bonnie’s) bookshelves, become more confident in herself, have her own book-worthy adventure, and figure out what those strange feelings for her friend is.

~Likes/Favourites~

Favourite colour: Even before meeting Rex, Amy’s favourite colour was always green. Every time Alice had taken her to the park, Amy adored watching the sunlight pour through the leaves with a golden-green glow.

Favourite book(s): Because it’s sentimental to her, being her owner’s favourites, she loves Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and The Wizard of Oz. They all hold similar plots (a little girl in a blue dress goes to a fantasy land, has a few adventures, and then leaves said fantasy land to go home to her family and responsibilities) but it reminds Amy of her old owner Alice (who was actually named after Alice from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland) and their playtimes together.

Favourite Book Quotation(s):

“Green is the prime color of the world, and that from which its loveliness arises.”

“There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is facing danger when you are afraid.”

Favourite movie: Amy does much prefer books, since they allow her to imagine the setting and characters in her own way, but doesn’t mind movies, and isn’t picky on what they watch, though she does quite like horror films.

Favourite song: Amy likes any kind of music, new or old.

Favourite game: Amy never really cared for games, the competitiveness always bothered her and stressed her out. But she’s more than happy to watch Rex play his video games and cheer him on.

~Relationships with other characters~

~Rex~

- Hit it off pretty quickly.

- Amy helps him with his anxiety, and helps him find confidence in himself, she acts as a certain therapist to him.

- Both become very stressed without the other around.

- Rex will hold and knead at Amy’s hands sometimes; it calms him down.

- Rex will let Amy ride on his back if she’s tired or needs to see something (Because she’s so short).

- One of them can basically be talking about the most boring-est things ever, yet still the other will hang on to their every word.

~Jessie~

- Became friends pretty quickly.

- Will drag Amy along anywhere.

- Get along fairly well.

- Jessie does the talking and Amy does the planning.

- Jessie always pranks the other toys and makes Amy tag along (along with Hamm).

- Introvert/Extrovert dynamic for sure.

- Both were left in alone for years so like to find solace in each other.

~Hamm~

- Hamm begrudgingly warmed up to the timorous ragdoll.

- Surprisingly good pals.

- Have full conversations without saying anything.

- Like to sit and look out of the window together.

- Hamm makes Amy laugh when she really shouldn’t (mainly when he makes fun of the other toys, mainly Woody).

- Hamm makes fun of Amy having a crush on Rex every once in a while, though he doesn’t mean any harm.

~The Potato Heads~

- Mr. doesn’t really interact with Amy much, but finds her surprisingly tolerable, if a bit high-strung and annoying.

- Like Hamm, Mr. makes Amy laugh at the most wrong moments.

- She and Mrs. Are quite good friends, and she sometimes lets Amy take care of the aliens if she and her husband are busy.

~Woody~

- Are aquianteces.

- Don’t exactly interact much, even though the whole room practically revolves around him, in Amy’s opinion, though she would never say it to his face.

~Buzz~

- Amy thinks he’s super cool (then again, he is Buzz Lightyear, he practically invented coolness)

- Both are just as clueless as one another when it comes to social cues and interactions.

- Amy helps him with vocabulary and spelling every once in a while.

~Mr. Prickle Pants~

- Are absolute BFF’s.

- Go back and forth with book quotes to the point of driving the other toys insane.

~Bo Peep~

- Amy's not exactly sure if Bo has befriended her or not.

- (She has)

- They later become good friends.

- Amy misses their talks, Bo was one of the only toys she could talk to that could keep a secret.

[bulletballet-arch]

REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog !    tag 10 ! good  luck ! TAGGED. I took this from Minnie’s archived Bioshock blog. I’ve been looking for this meme all this month. TAGGING. @hammurabicomplex. @bluuxriising. @ Me - for Sal on @bulletsoverbensonhurst​. @immaterialed (charlie) @soypeor (bella) @svmmercmance​. @mrflayed. and you!

BASICS. FULL  NAME :  Eve Delores Littlejohn NICKNAME : Evie, Little Evie (by her maternal side of the family), Delores, Didi NAME  MEANING / S  Eve is from the ancient Hebrew name  חַוָּה (Chawwah), which was derived from the Hebrew word חָוָה (chawah) meaning "to breathe" or the related word חָיָה (chayah) meaning "to live". Delores is a variant of Dolores, meaning "sorrows", taken from the Spanish title of the Virgin Mary María de los Dolores, meaning "Mary of Sorrows." Littlejohn is a surname that has historically been found in England and Scotland. With potential origins being either ‘to distinguish a beloved child that was not the eldest.’ Or, ‘a contradictory nickname for a large man.’ HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? : She’s named after her grandmother, Evelyn Hollins.

AGE : 42 BIRTHDAY :  June 2 ETHNIC  GROUP : Black-American. Meaning she’s mixed with a lot (Some of her relatives are respectively Creole and Italian) but uses Black as a catch-all term. NATIONALITY :  American LANGUAGE / S : English, Italian, Spanish, Latin, some French SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Bisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  Biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : Verse dependent, usually married -or connected- to Salvatore Scozzari in some way. CLASS : Upper-Class HOME  TOWN / AREA :   Brooklyn. Spent time between Bedford-Stuyvesant - with her paternal grandfather and Park Slope - with her maternal grandparents.  CURRENT  HOME : In her childhood home in Bedford-Stuyvesant. PROFESSION : Ballet Instructor. Former Professional Ballerina. ( Other verses see her as a professional thief. )

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Black. In terms of her natural hair, Eve has springy, 3C hair she seldom shows off because she was raised in a family where straightened hair was deemed presentable and professional.  EYES : Thin almond eyes. Dark brown. NOSE : Straight and small. FACE :  She has a prominent, high forehead, that’s accented with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. LIPS :  Full. COMPLEXION : She has a light brown (tawny) complexion.  SCARS : None major. TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 5′4″ BUILD : Eve has a slender build. One of those people who have been small and petite since childhood. Despite this, she also stays skinny because she is obsessively conscious of the food she consumes. The older she gets the more she weighs, however. USUAL HAIR STYLE :  Her hair is cut short. Reaching her shoulders in a neat, even bob. She either curls it in a retro fashion or curls the tips. For work she wears it in a traditional, pinned bun. USUAL FACE LOOK : In public, she appears stoic for the most part. Any emotion shown (such as the length of a smile) is carefully calculated. She has to seem perfect.  USUAL  CLOTHING : Form fitting dresses. Incredibly chic and fashionable for the time. Shoes include heels - never open-toed, unless she has on stockings. Extravagant earrings. Jewelry that can include either necklaces, crosses, pearls, or dainty rings. Prone to wearing black sunglasses in public.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Thunderstorms, airplanes, creatures like weasels, snakes and ferrets, break-ins, men she doesn’t know, harm coming to her children ASPIRATION / S :  Formerly wanted to become a major [black] ballerina in the elite world of ballet, now she just wants to expose more [inner city children] to dance through her job. Personally, she wants her children to change the world in some form or fashion, too. Eve also has good ideas on improving the community, but at the moment has no idea how to go about these ideas. POSITIVE  TRAITS :  Generous, compassionate, patient, protective NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Strict, sullen, hard to read, represses her emotions, secretive MBTI :  Advocate - INFJ-T ZODIAC :  Cancer TEMPERAMENT :  Melancholic ANIMALS :  Lioness VICE / S :  Pride & Lust FAITH : Christian. Grew up Baptist, but Catholic influences have been around her since childhood. Attended a Catholic High School in Park Slope, her grandmother Evelyn was also a practicing Catholic.  GHOSTS ? : Yes and no. She feels that objects formerly owned by the deceased posses the essence of their previous owners and that they essentially live on through these pieces of property. AFTERLIFE ? : Yes. REINCARNATION ? :  No, but it’s a romantic concept. ALIENS ? : No. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  Democratic ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  She likes being where she’s at now. But honestly, being upper class is all she’s ever known. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : Bourgeoisie, basically. The Littlejohn’s represent The Historical Black Elite.  EDUCATION  LEVEL : College level. FAMILY.

FATHER :  William ‘Bill’ Littlejohn MOTHER : Linda Littlejohn ( nee Hollins ) SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED  FAMILY : Amos Littlejohn (paternal grandfather) Liza Littlejohn (paternal grandmother) Evelyn Hollins (maternal grandmother) Giuseppe D’Aietti (maternal grandfather) and a wide host of cousins, aunts and uncles.

FAVOURITES. BOOK :  Night Song by Beverly Jenkins. The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Some sort of old, French erotic novel that was published before she was born. MOVIE : Eve watches films along the lines of...Waiting to Exhale, Beaches, The First Wives Club and Fatal Attraction. She loves Made-For-TV movies from the time period. In regards to plays, her favorite one is Sunday In The Park With George. 5  SONGS :  Meet Me On The Moon / Essence of Sapphire / No One In The World / People / The First Time I Saw Your Face  DEITY :  Persephone  HOLIDAY : New Years Eve, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Major holidays during the colder season. MONTH :  October SEASON :  Autumn PLACE :  The dance studio she works at. WEATHER : Sunny, but cool. SOUND : The voices of Anita Baker and Sarah Vaughn. A skilled hand running over piano keys. Soft trumpets. Running water. Cats making chipper little meows. SCENT / S :  Perfume, floral scented lotions, her partner’s cologne TASTE / S :  Caramel, the tang of dark chocolate, strawberries coated with either chocolate, or sprinkles of white sugar. Light Vinegar.  FEEL / S : Performing in front of an audience. Hot water engulfing your skin after a long day. Satin - whether it be the fabric of her clothes or sheets, your fingers tightly intertwined with another’s, feeling your significant other’s chest raise and lower against your skin with each breath they take. ANIMAL / S : Cocker Spaniels, Afghan Hounds, Cats, Birds - she loves all ( well, a majority ) of animals. NUMBER :  Doesn’t have one. COLOR :  White, Pink, Gold.

EXTRA. TALENTS :  Dance, Eve is trained in ballet when it comes to her main verse. She has attended ballet classes since the age of eight and ever since then she placed all of her focus into it. Similarly, Eve has always had the makings of a good artist - as a child she enjoyed drawing and had informal art lessons with a man who lived in the basement of her grandfather’s brownstone, but she never invested into that half of her. BAD AT : Singing, Being interviewed, Public Speaking (as in Speech Giving), Decision Making TURN  ONS :  Charisma, Leadership Skills, Temperature Play, Phone Sex, Heavy Kissing, Light Roleplay TURN  OFFS :  Public Sex, Tearing [ Her ] Clothes, Threesomes, Cruelty, Senseless Violence HOBBIES :  viewing plays & some musicals, reading romance novels, shopping, working out (she was into the whole celebrity VHS tape exercise trend), playing tennis, decorating AESTHETIC :  Vintage Black Glamour, Black Ballerinas, Champagne and Wine Glasses, Paintings by Melinda Byers and Edward 'Clay' Wright QUOTES :  "I'm bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes." / "There are truths I haven't even told God. And not even myself. I am a secret under the lock of seven keys."

FC INFO. MAIN  FC / S : Lynn Whitfield ( A Thin Line Between Love & Hate ) ALT  FC / S : Kylie Bunbury ( Twisted ) OLDER  FC / S :  Lynn Whitfield ( Greenleaf ) YOUNGER  FC / S : N/A VOICE  CLAIM / S : Lynn Whitfield

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?       A1 : Recently I decided that if/when I try to write anything serious about Eve again, it’ll center on her being a jewel thief because it presents me more fun, and emotionally diverse, opportunities. That and I have a very specific cover image in my mind. Ideally, her adventures would be a series of books. I have no title in mind, no idea about how ‘it would be filmed’ ( although a style replicating 90s films would be excellent, film grain and all. ) but, I do have a bunch of plots in mind that I really don’t feel like typing out here.  

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?         A2 :  Her score would have a vintage sound (or a jazzy Spike Lee sound, if you will) with instrumentals by Dorothy Ashby (a Jazz Harpist) the Ahmad Jamal Trio, Pharaoh Sanders, Yusef Lateef and Tarika Blue. For music with lyrics, the soundtrack would include the likes of Julie London, Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald, and Dionne Warwick.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?   + Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A3 :  Whenever I make NPCs for my character’s lives I actually can’t just let them just be NPCs. I start thinking about them too much. Developing them too much. And then I’m like, ‘wow! I really like this character!’ Eve was a different character when I began writing her, and likely wouldn’t be considered the same character as she was previously, if I told someone in real life who knows about my writing (like my grandma) about all the changes she has undergone. Originally Delores was a university professor, because I thought it could lead to interesting interactions with college-age muses. And her previous history with the mafia was also something interesting to tap in. But then I started thinking about what was realistic, what wasn’t realistic, what did I feel comfortable/interested writing? What didn’t I feel comfortable/interested in writing?  So as time went on, things would alter about this character. And the new things I came up with attracted me more. 

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.         A5 :  I have a love/hate relationship with Eve’s quiet demeanor. On one hand, I think quieter characters need love and the ability to be fully dimensional but on the other hand, writing louder characters has always been more fun for me. But really, Eve’s guarded behavior makes writing her stressful in some cases with others because sometimes...if I’m going to be honest...people don’t know how to carry a thread and interact with someone of her demeanor effectively. 

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?       A6 : We’re both black, we’re both into art (although our exact interests and aesthetics with art differ)

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?         A7 : Realistically she would think I need to take better care of myself.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions with ?   A8 :  We skippin’ this question.

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?       A9 : Films such as, “Waiting to Exhale,” “The Kitchen” and “Widows.” Books by Alice Walker, like “The Third Life of Grange Copeland” as well as her short story, “Roselily.” The historical mob figure Stephanie St. Clair.

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?       A10 : A few hours.

[mallowstep]

when all the leaves change in the fall — research masterpost

so i’m writing a human au set somewhere in the 1910s in ireland (really, around 1905-1914ish), and i just needed to throw all of my links and such into one place.

it’s…not a heatherlion fic, but it’s not not a heatherlion fic

anyway, well, you’ll see. if you want to read this.

census data (introduction)

so i was able to find the census data for 1911 in ireland. those of you who are up to date on your irish history (pun intended) may be aware that in the nineteenth century, england “unionized” with ireland.

i can’t believe i’m saying this on a fucking warrior cats blog, but we’re not doing irish history discourse. it’s a complex issue. i come from a family of irish catholics. draw your own conclusions.

anyway.

there’s a lot of important and relevant history that i’m skipping over because this post is supposed to be for me, and you’re not here to read irish history, but basically: there’s a 1851 census and a 1901 census, and nothing in between.

in short, it’s quite lucky i have the census data for the time i need.

since i was able to find this (and i gotta say, it wasn’t easy, like, usually i’m like, “research is just a thing i do” but it was surprisingly difficult to find), and like most national archives it’s…not to be rude, but the site is ugly.

but here’s the home page for the data, with helpful other links including a tram timetable. (and yes, that is very exciting. if you’ve ever written historical fiction, you know how exciting that is. if not, welcome to my descent.)

i was originally focusing on individual names, but i have to name the whole family, and i have all the data, so let us begin.

irish history (short version)

jk you do need a bit of knowledge to understand my decisions.

if you don’t know, the 1850s is approximately the great potato famine. if you don’t know anything about it: it’s worse than you imagine. extra credits did a good series a while back.

england’s rule over ireland will lead into the troubles, a religious conflict that wasn’t…well, okay! let’s just say, it’s like, a joke that you don’t want to talk about it because people feel strongly about it. hopefully, most of you don’t. i do, but i’m being not biased, okay?

anyway, feature history did a two part series if you want to get caught up.

finally, you may ask, matthew, why the heck are you writing about such a weirdly specific time in history? to which i say: well, i wanted to have a religious conflict between heather and lion’s families, in such a way that it would make sense for them to grow up and realize they couldn’t be friends.

my mother’s family is irish and my dad spent a lot of time in northern ireland when i was a toddler, so naturally, it was just a thing i knew about. to the point where it had an impact over my name. it’s a long story that i’m not telling here.

anyway, when i think religious conflict that spirals into a real, violent conflict, i think: catholics and protestants in ireland. it’s far from the only example, but it’s one i know a lot about.

so why, then, am i starting in the 1910s? well…i need heather and lion to be friends growing up, and there’s a particular crisis leading up to world war one that makes 1914 a good date for this fic to cover.

also, i like this era of historical fashion.

alright, now that we’re all on the same page, i can get into what i actually want to talk about.

lion’s family

so now that i have my census data, i was able to actually look through specific families to name people after. that’s right, i’m…at the point in my life where i researched specific families and counties to name my human au warriors after.

this is why? i never talk about the…i think now 3? human aus in the work. like, i can’t say, “okay, there’s holly in this one” because like, her name might be holly in one and minnie in another, you don’t know!

anyway, i searched by head of family, under the following criteria:

church of england

can read and write

married

english (language)

3 living children

and then paged through every result to get just those with (at least) 2 sons and 1 daughter.

that gave me fourteen families. i saved all of them to a one tab list in case my first choice didn’t work out.

my first choice being the harris family.

i had a lot of good choices (one family with a daughter named violet was particularly tempting), and another with a son william and a daughter annie mary, but i liked the harris family just…in my gut.

that gives us:

bramble: joseph henry

squirrel: henrietta

jay: joseph henry

holly: henrietta lillian

lion: ian roy

which, well, i hope you can see why i chose them, even though this is a lionblaze centric fic and they don’t have an l in there.

great! am i going to backfill past this? not unless i need to, which is the point of me making this well documented research. i’m going to go through some of the other families at the end to find a leafpool name, because we do need her.

heather’s family

next up! we need a family of catholics in the same general area as the harris family.

so, back to the search.

i was able to narrow it down to the same street as lion, which is great.

honestly, the weirdness of this does not escape me. sue me, it’s warriors fanfic, i like researching. i could do this and just stitch together several families, or something, i don’t know. there’s something appealing to me in knowing that i have done my due diligence.

anyway, we’re again searching by head of household, and:

roman catholic

married

irish and english (language)

1 living child

cork (county)

fermoy urban (ded)

king street (townland/street)

and i again went through and kept only families with at least one daughter. or really, a wife, husband, and other female person in the house.

you can view that list here.

the flanagans were the clear winner here, with their singular daughter named hannah. (parents: john and mary.)

breezepelt’s family

and after that we’re still not done because i need crow, night, and breeze.

i’m searching with the same criteria, this time, though, i’m only keeping families with at least one son.

while i’m doing this, shout out to paddy patrick for being a real person.

here’s my full choice list. this time, i want to match crow���s name more than breezepelt’s, because there aren’t a lot (if any) b names. nightcloud would be nice, too.

i had a tough choice to make here, because there was a norah & john, and a cornelius & catherine. (couldn’t i just combine them? you’re missing the point. this is fun, i’m having fun.)

i ended up going with the cotters, because i preferred james for breezepelt.

this gives us

crow: john

night: norah

breeze: james

are you having fun with two johns? i sure am.

also worth pointing out is that people aren’t actually on the same street. i’m not searching with exact match on. they are all still in the same county, and that’s good enough.

extraneous

i have more than enough names to name any character i need, but some character names i may need.

leaf: looking for single, church of england, women. we’ll be using irene may key

fire & sand: just to fill in where leaf left off, thomas james & alice elizabeth, respectively.

cinder: had to remove the church of england restriction to find her, and then i had too many choices (i’m not paging through like 100 people, okay?), so i decided to search under injury “other,” just to narrow down the options. i chose sarah hanan, who also lives with her brother (nice touch).

and at this point i decided i had more than enough names and the ability to hunt down more whenever i needed them if they came up.

other stuff

i was going to do more than names but then i got tired whoops. it’s like, almost 1 am i’ve been doing this for like an hour.

anyway, that’s fine bc i know a lot about the other stuff i was going to talk about and now you know! i’ve done a bunch of families because that’s how much i care about accuracy.

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the Moon

Chapter 19

Robbe was pissed. Rationally, he knew, Sander couldn't take him aside to explain what he and Charlotte had talked about. It would have been rude, although it was also rude to break into someone else's house, without giving all the tenants an explanation. Robbe had disappeared earlier with Hero, leaving no room or time for Charlotte to explain herself, but that situation was making him feel uncomfortable, and he needed to get out. When he put Hero to bed, he went back to the living room, and the twins seemed to have cleared things up. They were both in a good mood, laughing and joking as if nothing had happened.

Sander would always forgive Charlotte right away, and Robbe couldn't stand it. He thought that the girl would always give for granted their relationship, because, sooner or later, despite everything, he would come back to her. Robbe had seen Sander struggle for two years. He had seen his thoughts keep him awake at night and make him sick to his stomach. He stayed awake with him and cuddled him, made him some herbal teas, kept him warm in his arms, but nothing had been as effective as those twenty minutes spent with Charlotte. Sander wasn't rational when it came to her, and Robbe knew it too well.

Robbe stared at the slice of pizza on his plate, he had barely eaten. His hunger had vanished as soon as he crossed the threshold and saw Charlotte, but he tried to eat something, while the twins chatted about this and that, without paying any attention to him.

“Lucas and Jens got engaged today!” “Really?” “Yes, we were helping them to move out and suddenly Jens got on his knee.” “Move out?”

Despite everything, Charlotte was much less dramatic than she was two years ago. Her reactions were more composed. It had been odd not to see her slam her hands on the table, as soon as she discovered that her best friend was engaged. She hadn't screamed or raised her voice. The girl simply smiled and resumed drinking her diet coke.

“They live in this building now.” “I'm gonna congratulate them.” “You should go with her, Sander.”

It was one of the few things Robbe had said during that evening, and it sounded more like an order than an invitation. Sander paid attention to the tone in his fiancee’s voice, and he frowned, trying to understand what was happening, but Robbe's flat expression prevented him from reading him as easily as usual. He could imagine it was about Charlotte, so he didn't investigate any further. Sander looked at his sister, while a thousand questions began to crowd his head.

“Yeah, alright. Let's go.”

-

Charlotte had called Alice to warn her that she was in town, and she had insisted that her daughter join her in her new home to spend the night there. The girl had gladly accepted, first of all, because despite breaking into their house, she didn't want to disturb Sander and Robbe, and then she wanted to give them some privacy. She knew they needed to talk and that they were both probably waiting to be left alone to do so. So, when the girl took her things and said goodbye to her brother, Sander closed the door and went immediately to his room. Ever since Robbe had told him to go with his sister to Jens and Lucas' house, he had felt anxious. He hated arguing with Robbe, but most of all, he hated not being able to fix things right away. He needed to know what was going through his fiancee’s mind. What was hurting him. Sander found the other already in bed, and when he sat down, Robbe didn’t even look up from the laptop he had on his legs. Sander sighed, placing his head on Robbe’s shoulder.

“Talk to me, please.”

The boy closed his laptop a little too hard, but he settled down to let Sander snuggle up, and he did it immediately, of course. He took the other's hand in his own, starting to draw small circles on the back of it with his thumb.

“You can't think straight because you missed her too much.” “Meaning?” “I'm not comfortable when she's around our baby. We don't know what she wants, and you just let her in once again, as nothing happened.”

Sander wrapped his arms around Robbe's waist and gave him a feather-light kiss on his neck in an attempt to relax him. All the feelings his fiancee was having were valid and justified. It was true, that he had let Charlotte come back into their lives too easily, but she was his sister and he couldn't help but trust her. Still, he was happy to have Robbe watching his back. He felt protected.

“I understand you’re still scared, but my sister promised, she won’t do anything to hurt us.” “We can't trust her. Charlotte had always been impulsive, and she had been away for two years. You don't know her anymore.” “What do you want me to do?”

Robbe closed his eyes, sighing in frustration, and brought his hands to his temples, starting to massage them. Within a week away from their marriage, they should both have been stupidly happy. They should be focusing on their relationship. Instead, they always found themselves thinking about the same thing.

“I just wanna sign that stupid adoption papers.” “I know, but we still need to wait for you to turn 25.” “Then you should do it first. You’ll be 25 in a month.” “Robbe...” “I can't risk it. I won’t lose my son because of this.” “It won’t happen, okay? But I'll do whatever makes you happy.”

Sander sat up and hugged Robbe, pulling him close. He knew the other was feeling vulnerable at that moment, and he needed to be comforted. He put his fingers in his hair and kissed his forehead, while Robbe slipped his hands under Sander’s sweatshirt to touch his bare skin. When Robbe was feeling fragile, he always sought physical contact and Sander was glad to please him.

“I’ve never thought about us as his uncles until I saw her tonight. The truth hit me so hard I wanted to cry.”

Hearing Robbe's pain come to life in the form of those words, hurt him, because he realized that there was something deeper, than the fear that Hero would be taken away from them. Robbe's pain was linked something real, that unfortunately, couldn’t be changed, even if they wanted to, and probably one day, they would have faced it with their child, but, he was sure, they would find a way to make it as painless as possible for everyone, loving Hero as if it had been genetically their son.

“We’re his papa and his dad. Jens and Lucas are his uncles. He’s our son, we’ll legally adopt him soon. He’ll grow up so happy with us, and at some point, he’s gonna get a brother or a sister, with your doe eyes, your dimples, and your curls.”

Finally, a small smile appeared on Robbe's lips, after hearing those words. He lifted his face and looked at Sander dreamily, imagining their future together. There was still time, and it would be years before all those dreams would come true, but they both couldn't wait to live them.

“Hero is always gonna be my favorite, and I’m gonna die if he’ll look like you at 16. I won’t ever be able to say him no.”

Sander shook his head, laughing, and pressed his lips to his fiancee’s. In his heart, he hoped that Hero would take Robbe's calm and responsible personality because otherwise, they would have had a hard time dealing with the most spoiled teenager in the world.

“We're naming the next one Bowie.” “Sander, no.”

-

Robbe loved Sander more than anything, and overall, he couldn’t resist his puppy eyes. So when his fiancee asked him to let Charlotte and Hero get to know each other, he had no choice but agree. In general, things hadn't gone badly. Robbe hadn't taken his eyes off the two for a second, expecting to see who knows what atavistic bond, but nothing strange had happened. Hero had behaved as usual. He was shy at first but then he offered the girl his toys. He wasn't as obsessed with her as he was with Jens and Lucas. Whenever the two had joined him and Charlotte, Hero had devoted most of his attention to them. Thus, Robbe should have been calmer. Instead, he was sitting there, pretending to read a book, while keeping an eye on the girl and the baby. He felt stupid to feel all that jealousy, but he just couldn't help it. When he saw the girl, take Hero in her arms and make him sit on her lap, he could no longer contain himself.

“Can you stop treating him like a doll? He doesn't know you. And you don't know if he's uncomfortable being held by you like that.” “I guess he would be crying if he was uncomfortable.” “You can't just assume things.”

Charlotte let go of Hero and looked Robbe straight in the eye. She had a surprised expression on her face, that became regretful after a while. The girl sighed, biting her lip, remaining silent for a few seconds, probably looking for the right words to use in that delicate moment.

“Robbe, look, I'm not trying to do anything here. I know he's your son. I'm just trying to get to know him. He's my twin brother's son too.” “Your twin brother is about to become my husband in three days.” “What does it mean now?”

The girl raised her eyebrows, completely blown away by Robbe's response, who by now, due to the anger and frustration accumulated in the previous days, had lost all restraints. At that moment, for him, it was about Hero as well as Sander.

“You always did that, Charlotte. You claim people as your proprieties. Sander and Lucas are not 17 anymore. They are men, and they can’t run to the rescue every time you want.”

Robbe immediately regretted his words. He had probably been too harsh, even though that was exactly what he had wanted to say for years. It was the truth. Things had always been that way. Whenever Charlotte behaved irresponsibly, there was always someone ready to get her out of trouble. The last time was when she left Hero and disappeared for two years.

“I don't need to be rescued.” She said it in a barely audible voice, lowering her gaze. She stayed still for a few moments, but when she suddenly regained control of herself, that flame of pride, that was typical of Charlotte, shone in her eyes again. "Why are you attacking me like this? Tell me what’s wrong, so we can talk like adults.”

Robbe had never been so happy that Hero didn't fully understand what they were talking about, but even though neither of them raised their voices, the child sensed that something was wrong, because he kept shifting his gaze from his dad to Charlotte.

“You came back with no explanation after two years! How am I supposed to trust you, if I don’t know your plan?” “I don't have a plan. I don't even know how am I adjusting to this situation. It's weird to me as much as it is to you.” “It is very weird to me. It's making me question my role in his life.”

That sentence had come out of his mouth almost like a confession, and realizing it, the boy sighed, burying his face in his hands. He didn't like feeling that way, insecure, nervous, and fragile. He had stopped feeling like that for some time now. Robbe had left that part of himself to his adolescence, to a dark period that he would have liked to forget, but instead, it always resurfaced somehow. Charlotte rose to her feet and went to sit on the sofa next to Robbe, placing her hand on his knee and squeezing it as encouragement.

“You are his dad. That’s not in question, Robbe. It will never change. I made a choice two years ago, and I'm not regretting it. I'm happy you and Sander are his fathers. I know he has a loving family, and he's going to be safe for the rest of his life.”

Charlotte smiled softly. She had watery eyes, like Robbe, who nodded, taking the girl's hand in his own. Maybe he shouldn't have been so childish with her because, after all, he would have been eternally grateful to Charlotte and her impulsiveness. Thanks to her he had the best gift that life had given him. Hero suddenly walked over to them and pointed to Robbe with his index finger, looking the girl in the eye.

“Dad.” “Yes, baby! He's your dad! Next time you're in doubt, Robbe, remember to ask this little bean here first. After all, his opinion is the only one that matters.”

-

Robbe had been waiting for that day for years, yet at that moment, alone, in his bed, he couldn’t help but be nervous. It was the night before the wedding, and he and Sander had decided by mutual agreement to spend apart the few hours that separated them from the big day. When they had said goodbye, and Sander had left the house to go to sleep upstairs, at Lucas and Jens’, Robbe had instantly regretted that decision. The house was strangely quiet. Hero was already sleeping in his room, and Robbe didn't know what to do. Everything was ready for the small ceremony: his black suit was ironed and hung in the closet, together with his tie and shirt. He had already showered, but he felt too restless to watch a movie or read anything. He decided to make himself a relaxing herbal tea and crawl into bed, hoping to get some sleep, but the truth was that sleeping without Sander's body pressed against his was not easy at all. He changed his position for the hundredth time and snorted, pondering whether he should move to the sofa to watch some boring television program, when the bedroom door opened, revealing Sander’s figure, smiling mischievously.

“What are you doing here? You were supposed to sleep upstairs!” “I'm not superstitious, and besides, I miss you.” “We saw each other two hours ago.”

Sander closed the door behind him, turned on the little lamp on the bedside table, and slipped under the covers, pulling Robbe closer, to hold him against his body. He kissed him softly and then, just before answering, he pouted adorably.

“I know, but I'm too happy about tomorrow and I needed to share my excitement with you.” “You're cute.”

Robbe cupped Sander’s face with both of his hands, to look him in the eye. In just a few hours, he would become a husband for that man in front of him, and he couldn’t believe his luck. That smart, caring, talented, sweet, loud, soft, handsome man. His best friend. The love of his life. The father of his son. His soulmate. They had grown up together, hand in hand, and in a few hours, they would have sworn eternal love in front of everyone.

“You okay, angel?”

Sander smiled slightly, pushing away the hair from the other’s forehead, holding his gaze, until Robbe nodded, pressing theirs together. He reached out to turn off the light on the nightstand and straddled Sander, pulling off his shirt. He left a trail of wet kisses on his chest, going up towards the neck, while the other sighed heavily, bending his head to leave Robbe room. Sander slipped both hands under the elastic of his fiancee's boxers and squeezed his butt, pushing his hips upwards at the same time, in search of some friction. Robbe let out a moan and pressed the last kiss on the soft spot behind Sander's ear.

“I want you.”

-

Robbe woke up shivering, feeling the cold air hit his bare skin. Still, with her eyes closed, he reached out for Sander's warm body, whimpering when he felt the other side bed empty. He slowly opened his eyes to find Sander sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on the sweatpants that had been hurriedly thrown on the floor the night before, along with the rest of their clothes.

“Where are you going?”

Sander turned his face and looked over his shoulder, giving Robbe a bright smile.

“Sorry I didn’t mention earlier, but I have to get married in a few hours.” “Too bad. I hope he's handsome.” “Yeah, he is. He has the prettiest doe eyes and the cutest dimples.”

Robbe smiled, slipping almost completely under the covers, too cold to try to be the least bit sexy. He let out from his warm shelter only his head, and his fiancee reached out to caress her hair.

“Tell me again why we decided to go there separately.” “I promise it's gonna be worth it, Robbe.” “Yeah, you told the same thing about sleeping apart the night before the wedding.”

Sander laughed and leaned towards his fiancee to kiss his lips one last time. He was thrilled at the thought that the next time he saw Robbe, he would become his husband. But leaving that bed was being a torture. He kissed Robbe’s lips again, then the tip of his nose, cheek, and forehead. He stood up and felt butterflies in his belly, looking at the beautiful man in front of him.

“Can't wait to see you there. I love you.” “I love you too.”

-

Jens watched his best friend get up from the couch for the tenth time in less than five minutes, fixing the knot of his tie, which was already perfect. He stood up too and walked over to Robbe, placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down a bit. The dressing room was quiet and the tension could be cut with a knife.

“How are you?”

He asked looking at Robbe through the mirror. They had never been so stylish, both wearing tight black suits. Their hair was strangely in order, especially Robbe’s, who had been resisting for hours the urge to stick his fingers inside it, as he did whenever he was nervous. As soon as Sander was gone, he felt his anxiety building up. Luckily he'd had to take care of Hero, otherwise, he would surely have a panic attack. When Alice had come to take the child, Jens had immediately joined him.

“I’m on the verge of crying since I showered this morning. I’ve never been this emotional in my entire life.”

Jens smiled, trying to imagine how he would feel on his wedding day. Since he had proposed to Lucas a week ago, they had started talking about it all the time and he was tempted to drag his fiancee somewhere to get married in secret, but that morning, that thought had become terribly irresistible.

“I'm happy to be here by your side right now. I'm thinking about the first time we met, and now you're about to get married.” “Jens, you're not helping. At all.”

Robbe looked away from the mirror, looking for something to distract himself, but nothing seemed tempting enough. He wished he had a drink to calm himself down, but at the same time, he wanted to be completely sober and remember every second of that day. When there was a knock on the door, Robbe immediately turned himself to see his mother's face peeking out. He smiled warmly and walked over to hold her in a tight hug. He was happy to have her there. She had told him, she would never miss his wedding but they both knew her health conditions could change within hours.

“You look handsome, honey.” “Thanks, mama.” “I met Sander while I was coming here, he was over the moon.” “I can't wait to see him.”

The two released the embrace and then the woman greeted Jens in the same way. She seemed really calm and serene, and Robbe couldn’t help but feel a warm wave of joy in his chest. During the darkest times of his adolescence, he would never have imagined finding his soul mate, let alone getting married and being surrounded by people who would accept him and shower him with love, including his mother.

“I'm gonna see if Sander is ready to go.”

Jens left his best friend and his mother alone to talk in Robbe's quiet and peaceful room, to enter Sander's, where the situation was completely different. Sander, who was sitting dramatically in a chair, held his head in his hands as utter chaos surrounded around him. Charlotte and Lucas played with Hero, making him scream in amusement, while Alice and Theo, Sander's father, were discussing something, sipping champagne. Jens approached Lucas to kiss his cheek, and Sander, who had only noticed Jens' presence at that moment, raised his head.

“Lucas, can you stop checking your fiancee's butt?” “Sorry, can't help.” “Butt.”

Hearing Hero say that word, the room fell into dead silence and everyone began to look into each other's eyes, only to burst out laughing immediately afterward. Sander rolled his eyes, exasperated.

“Awesome. A nice new word! Perfect to scream today during the ceremony, right?” “Sander, calm down. Why are you freaking out all of a sudden?”

Charlotte frowned, alarmed by her brother's strange behavior. Everyone expected to see the boy full of energy and happiness, but at that moment he had a black cloud over his head.

“I just wanna see him. I need him to stay grounded, but I can't right now because I'm supposed to go out first and wait for him.” “Just stop with this. You guys should walk there together with your baby. That’s how you and Robbe always did everything. Together.”

Sander looked his sister in the eye and nodded. Suddenly it all made more sense. Being apart had always been a mistake for the two of them, and it had never led to anything good. It wasn’t the right time to start changing things. The boy took Hero in his arms and walked out the door, quickly crossing the hallway, entering Robbe's room without knocking. When he saw him, Sander gasped feeling his knees give in and his head spin, because everything clicked. In a few minutes, he was going to marry the love of his life. He put Hero on the floor, who immediately ran to hug his dad, and closed the door behind him, leaning against it, trying to save in his memory, the image of Robbe at that moment. He was just perfect.

“Sander? What are you doing here?” “Robbe, you look-” “Don't you dare. I'm holding my tears since this morning.”

Robbe pointed his index finger at the other for a few seconds, looking him in the eyes, until Sander made the gesture of closing his lips with an invisible zipper, then Robbe smiled at him, shaking his head. He took Hero up and went to his fiancee, cupping his cheek with his hand, smiling softly at him. Both of them were emotional and had watery eyes. They lost a few minutes, savoring each other with their gaze. It was one of the best moments of their life and they both wanted to enjoy it and acknowledge their own emotions. Sander tilted his head towards Robbe's hand and closed his eyes, feeling more relaxed. He was still amazed by how his body reacted to the other’s presence. As soon as Robbe entered his orbit, it was as if something inside him knew that everything would be fine.

“I was freaking out without you, and Charlotte suggested we should walk out together with Hero because that’s the only way we work.” “I'm happy your sister is smarter than us.” “Me too.” “You're stunning, by the way. Although, I can't wait to take your black suit off tonight.”

They smiled and Sander wrapped his arms around Robbe's waist, resting his head on his shoulder and looking Hero in the eye. The baby had calmed down too, as soon as his dad had picked him up. Perhaps there was really something in the Driesen's DNA that made them react that way in Robbe’s presence. Sander wished he had a button to fast-forward the whole ceremony and party. He wanted to be alone with the love of his life. A little drunk on wine, happiness, and tiredness, with loose ties, half-unbuttoned shirts, tight in each other's hug, dancing to an imaginary song, in their bedroom. What he wanted most from that day wasn't the celebration, but the way he knew he and Robbe would feel closer, like they belonged to each other a little more, for the rest of their lives.

That idyll in Sander's mind was interrupted by a knock on the door behind him, and Lucas's voice brought him back to reality.

“It's time!”

Robbe offered him the most breathtaking smile ever. He took his shaky hand and squeezed it in his own. Sander didn't know how he could get through the whole ceremony, given the way he was already feeling. He wanted to tell Robbe everything he had in his mind and heart. He wanted to tell him that he loved him, that he was happy, that he was the luckiest man on earth. That growing up with him had been the best thing that happened to him. He wanted to thank him for teaching him love. For becoming his family. For every gesture, and every word that had saved him from his darkest moments. For always keeping his heart safe, for forgiving him, and for always making him feel at home. For making him feel truly himself. He wanted to tell him all of that and a billion other things more, but he knew his voice would fail him as soon as he tried to say more than two words, so he said the one thing, that could sum up every day of their past, present and future life.

“Together?” “Together.”

[previous] / [epilogue]

[authenticcadence18]

30 Questions About Me

THANKS FOR THE TAG @bugaboo-n-bananoir ILY!!!!

(Nick)name: Cadence

gender: cis female

Star sign: Pisces

Height: uhhhhh I am not sure, it’s taller than 5ft at least

Time: night! (Well I wrote most of this last night, but now it’s the evening of the next day!)

Birthday: well I’m a Pisces, so my birthday is between Feb 19th and march 20th!

Fave band/group: Pentatonix! Or For King and Country. Or the piano guys, the vitamin string quartet, Voctave.....also Phineas and the Ferbtones👌

Fave solo artists: I really like Lauren Daigle, and Jackie Evancho used to be my FAVE. Aaand idk if this counts but Michael Giacchino! love his scores, especially the score for Inside Out. There’s also this guy called Clay Kramer on YouTube who makes KK Slider covers of popular music, his stuff gives me so much seratonin😅

Song Stuck in my Head: Well I’m listening to music rn and “I’m Me” from Phineas and Ferb is on so I’ll say that! (I’ll revisit this one when I finish the list and update it with whatever song i’m listening to/is stuck in my head then) (ok the music has since been turned off and now I have “Status Quo” from High School Musical stuck in my head so! There ya go!) (now it is the next day, and I’ve got “when the party’s over” stuck in my head...i think these three songs are an accurate reflection of my taste in music🤣)

Last Movie: uhhhhh oh yeah, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice! It was SO GREAT because Jay Baruchel plays the main character (and the main character is super awkward), so I felt like I was watching Hiccup from the How To Train Your Dragon franchise learn magic and it was GLORIOUS. And also Nicholas Cage is great. And I liked the love interest in the movie as well!! She had a role to play in the story and felt authentic and genuine, which I appreciated!

Last Show: ok well the last show I watched by myself was Phineas and Ferb! Specifically, the episode with the Mardi Gras block party and then the one where Candace and Stacy compete in an obstacle course against Isabella and Ginger (omg wAIT ginger and Stacy are sisters and Isabella and Candace are GOING to be sisters mY HEART I—AH🥺). I hadn’t watched those episodes in forever, so they were really fun to revisit! I think the last actual show I watched was Kids Baking Championship or something, lol. (Those kids are AMAZING. So skilled!)

When i created this blog: November 2019! It was riiiight after the season 3 finale of miraculous aired and absolutely wrecked my emotions. I had some fanfic written that I’d never posted and had been thinking about making a tumblr/ao3 for awhile, and seeing the finale made me finally go, “.....you know what, yeah. The finale is aired, no more spoilers.....it’s time to make a blog.” So I did! And I posted my first fic! And I’m so happy i did :)

What Do I Post: a bunch of multi fandom stuff XD. This blog started off as 90% Miraculous, 10% other fandoms I like...but now it’s just kind of a hodgepoge of my favorite fandoms (with a focus on Phineas and Ferb, lol). I reblog a lot of posts, and then I post original stuff too! I write fanfic, nowadays for Phineas and Ferb but for Miraculous in the past (and probably in the future!), I draw art (mostly Phinabella art because I’ve been drawing them since i was 11 and it feels good to return to my roots), and OCCASIONALLY I will write an analysis post (I’ve got one in the works rn actually 👀), attempt to make a meme, or dip my toe into salt just SLIGHTLY before quickly backing away, lol. If I were to list the fandoms I post about in the order of how frequently I post about them, I’d probably say: Phineas and Ferb, Miraculous....and thennnnn everything else is pretty random and depends on the day, lol.

Last thing i googled: Jay Baruchel 😂. Couldn’t remember how to spell his last name!

Other blogs: this is my only blog! Sometimes I think about making a separate blog for my art and writing, but I am not sure if I should or not....maybe I will someday, but idk. I also have an AO3 for fanfic and an Instagram for art! All are under the name “authenticcadence18.”

Do I get asks: sometimes, yeah!! Sometimes I reblog ask games/prompts and get some asks for those (I’ve got so many prompts in my inbox I want to write/draw things for...ah it’s fine, I’ll get to it eventually😅), and sometimes lovely people will leave thoughts or nice messages in my inbox🥺💕. I’ve got a specific tag for all those nice messages so I can read back over them whenever I need a boost!

Why this url: it’s a music pun! When a song/section of a piece of music ends with a dominant chord resolving to a tonic chord (if you’ve read a certain fic of mine you should know allll about dominant and tonic chords👀🤣), it’s called an authentic cadence! There are different kinds of cadences, and authentic ones are my favorite. One example of this is “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” I also use this blog to be my authentic, fandom-loving self! So I like authentic cadences, and also, I’m Cadence and using this blog to be authentic! Woo! (And 18 is just my favorite number, lol) I’m glad I ended up choosing a name that doesn’t tie to a specific fandom becaaaaaause this ended up being a multi fandom blog!

Following: 232!!

Followers: 292!!! (THANKS SO MUCH Y’ALL ILY 💕)

Average amount of sleep: wellllll for the past week and a half I was sick so I was probably getting 9ish hours a night (because I would sleep in really late, lol). but NOW? In my immediate future? I suspect my average amount of sleep is going to go down because I’m really bad about staying up late even when I have to get up early😅. Hoping to be good about getting at least 7ish hours a night!

Lucky number: 18! But y’all probably already guessed that, lol.

Instruments: my voice, piano, ukulele, viola (but it’s been a HOT minute), aaaand i used to be able to play guitar but then I got a ukulele and forgot all the guitar chords. (I also dabble in songwriting! I primarily use voice and piano when writing music.)

What I’m wearing: my favorite sweatshirt (that was last night, rn I have on a tanktop), some leggings, and socks!

Dream job: I’m currently learning to be a teacher, and I LOVE teaching and working with kids so that is definitely a job I’m really excited about!!! I would also love to portray characters at Disney or something (well, maybe not at Disney because I hear they’re strict, but like....I want to be Rapunzel or Anna or something, that would be so fun). OR, I would LOVE to work in tv animation somehow, be it voice acting, writing scripts/music, and/or story boarding. basically if I could do what Dan and Swampy did for Phineas and Ferb/Milo Murphy’s Law, I would LOVE THAT. (Especially the writing music part. Getting to write music for established characters and get PAID for it would be SO COOL.!.!.!) Also I think it would be so fun to write Disney storybooks! Like, those books that are about Cinderella baking a cake or Ariel befriending a seahorse, stuff like that. Those brought me a ton of joy as a child!

Dream trip: I want to visit alllll the Disney parks someday😅. (Not right now because, ya know, Covid...but someday!)

Fave food: uhhh i really like pizza. And popcorn. Also hummus and guacamole!

nationality: American

Fave songs: “Times” by Tenth Avenue North; “Can’t Help Falling in Love” (I made an entire playlist of just this song when I first started writing my fic of the same name, so I like the original and a ton of covers of it!), “Show Yourself” from Frozen II, “What Might Have Been” from Phineas and Ferb (and lots of other songs from that show, i made a whole post about that once but I can’t find it, oof); “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle; “Thank You” by Pentatonix; “I See the Light” from Tangled; “Your Hands” by JJ Heller; “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran.....i like a loooot of songs so this is just the tip of the iceberg, but I think that’s good for now, LOL! (As soon as I post this I’m going to remember another song I love, lol)

last book: I got the book Unbirthday for Christmas! It’s basically Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, but if she’d never gone to wonderland and things went horribly wrong there. (I think, I’m not that far into it yet, lol)

Top 3 fictional universes I’d love to live in: 1. DANVILLE, PLS. Especially as a kid, I SO would’ve loved to hang out with Isabella and Phineas and the rest of the gang! Danville is so vibrant and unique and people are always randomly breaking into song there, that’s my kind of place! 2. Fairytopia (from the Barbie movies!) because I could be a fairy OR a mermaid OR BOTH and eat seeweed to breathe underwater even if I wasn’t a mermaid. Like, that’s the dream right there. (I’ve always loved mermaids and fairies, lol!) 3. Maybe San Fransokyo from Big Hero 6? All of the technology in that universe is really cool! And I would love to eat a noodle burger, lol .

Oh! That’s the last one! Wow! This was so FUN!!!!!!! Thanks again for the tag, Maddy!!!! :)

I’ll taaaag @sketchy-panda @macaronsforchat @simplynewyorkbound @inkjackets and anyone else who’d like to do this! (And pls don’t feel pressured to play at all, or answer all of the questions! I was definitely vague with a few of my answers, lol)

[pregnant-javert]

Can we still send prompts? If so is there any chance you could write melaudrey reuniting on the train after melanie’s rescue from the research station? (a sort of continuation of that 2parter you did where the 10car train saves melanie and she has that talk in bed with alex) i’m curious to see melanie’s reaction to audrey being held captive lmao

Hey anon! I really liked this prompt, and I have finished a fic for it! I had to sit on it for a while, but it’s there! Under the cut :) this will be posted on AO3 later! tw for suicidal thoughts.

When the door to Audrey’s mini-prison slides open, she doesn’t expect Melanie to be standing just beyond the threshold. It’s been a long, torpid day—Till came to check on her, but she seemed distracted—Audrey was left alone while everyone was busy with looking after the newly-reclaimed Melanie. Evening settles over the room slowly: the light turns pink, then orange, then dark red. Audrey spends the day pacing the room, her head empty. She’s sitting in the corner when the other woman shows up. “Melanie?”

“Yeah,” she says, her voice hoarse and weak. “It’s me. Back from the dead.”

“I thought I’d lost you,” Audrey says. “When I saw you on the tracks.”

Melanie is holding an oxygen tank, and catches Audrey staring at it. “Yeah. It’s my newest accessory. I hate it, but I can’t breathe without it.” At Audrey’s expression, she adds, “It’s not permanent. Just until my lungs heal.” She sits on the floor next to Audrey, leaning against the wall.

“Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see for myself if they actually took you. I didn’t believe it when Layton told me.”

“Well, I’m here now. Unsurprisingly.” Audrey remembers Alex’s snarky remark: are we bringing anyone we actually want? It still stings, three days on. She chooses not to mention this, however. “How are you feeling?” she asks instead.

“Like I’ve been gassed. And run over with a truck.” As if to demonstrate, she dissolves into a fit of dry coughing. Audrey moves to help her, but Melanie pushes her away. “I’m okay,” she says once she’s regained her breath. “It just happens sometimes.”

Audrey feels a shot of guilt, for every injury Melanie sustained can be traced back to Wilford’s doing. Why didn’t she try harder to stop the train? Instead it was Alex who ended up going against Wilford, slashing his neck. It occurs to her that Melanie has no idea what she did. Audrey went to Big Alice after Melanie left. She doesn’t know that I’m hated, or that I pushed everyone away. It’s so tempting to not reveal it at all, to not add Melanie to her shit list. 

“By the way, Alex told me everything,” Melanie says, ruining that fantasy. “I’m surprised you were with him. I thought you’d never go back.”

“He has a way of dragging you in.”

“Don’t I know it,” Melanie sighs. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. They roughed me up when they brought me here.” As if to demonstrate, Audrey shows Melanie her wrists, with the bruises refusing to fade. She doesn’t expect sympathy, but Melanie does say she’s sorry about it.

“It wasn’t your fault. You weren’t there when they took me.” Audrey sighs, leans back against the wall. The train shakes and judders as it goes over the tracks. “You probably hate me now. For what I did to the others. What I did to Alex.”

“Yeah. I must admit, when she told me everything, it was hard not to storm in here and slap the shit out of you.” Melanie scoffs, then says, “You’re lucky I feel like shit. The only thing that stopped me from doing that is the fact I can’t breathe.”

“Does that mean I have something coming later?”

“Maybe. I mean, a fucking tiara? Seriously, Audrey?”

Audrey groans. “Don’t remind me.” She thought she was on top of the world then, safe by Wilford’s side as train royalty. You should dress in a way that reflects your status, darling. What did that matter now? Audrey was lower than low. A hostage on a pirate train, the bottom of the pecking order. “I acted like an idiot.”

“I almost didn’t believe it. That’s not you. That’s not who I remember.”

“He does a damn good job of making you think it is.” Audrey swallows. “It felt good being like that. Not caring about anyone else. Living in luxury. Until you realise you’re nothing more than a lapdog.”

“Did he hurt you?” Melanie asks softly.

“No, he didn’t. Until he let them hurt me.” Audrey indicates the axe scar on her neck. She almost wants to cry thinking about it. “Anyway, why do you care?”

“I don’t know. I’m just asking.” Melanie might have said more, but she drops into coughing again, desperate and wracking. Audrey holds her up while she goes at it, and even though it finishes quickly, the other woman struggles to catch her breath. “Fuck,” she says. “My lungs feel like they’ve been shredded from the inside.”

“It’s only been three days,” Audrey says ineffectually.

“Yeah, I know.” Melanie sits back, looks out the window. “The cold strikes again.” They sit in uncomfortable silence for a long time; the only noise being Melanie’s laboured breathing. The sun has set properly, and the cabin is rapidly descending into darkness.

“I’m genuinely sorry about Alex,” Audrey says. “She didn’t deserve me treating her like shit.” She means this: if there’s any regret she has, it’s how she treated the younger girl. Audrey remembers, far too vividly, the look of pain on Alex’s face whenever she said something cutting. Lighten up, she’d say. Why do you take everything so seriously? Alex had tried her best to hide it, but Audrey knows how painful it must have been, to be shut out of Wilford’s graces because of her. She’d tried to apologise to Alex yesterday, but was received with open hostility. Exactly what Audrey deserves.

“I’m sorry too,” Melanie says, surprisingly. “I shouldn’t have left her. That was my biggest mistake. Thinking that she’d be safe with you and Wilford.”

This remark doesn’t even sting, because Audrey knows it’s true. “I tried to apologise yesterday. For what it’s worth.”

“What did she say?”

“It wasn’t good. I can’t say it.” You can shove that whiny apology up your ass, Audrey. That was what she’d said, before storming out of the cabin. “I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Melanie says tiredly. “My daughter doesn’t owe you anything. Not after what you did.”

“I get it.” Audrey sighs. “Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know. I think we’re at an impasse.” Melanie draws her knees up to her chest. “I know you’re just a victim like everyone else. But I can’t see past what you did to Alex. In that way, you’re no better than Wilford. Why? What did she ever do to you? She’s just a child, who was missing her mom. Didn’t you ever feel like that once?”

“My parents were awful to me. I was glad when they died.”

“Even so.” Melanie lays a hand on Audrey’s arm. “I know this isn’t you, Audrey. I know it’s not. You’re kind, tenacious, and fiercely protective of everyone in Third Class. I want to give you another chance, because I know how Wilford is”—her voice cracks—“but I can’t stand seeing my daughter hurt. Especially by someone like you. I thought you were better than that.”

“I thought so too.”

“I can’t reconcile it,” Melanie says, drawing away. “Every time I look at her, I think of all the abuse she suffered at you and Wilford’s hands. I can’t look at you the same way. Knowing you were capable of that. Are capable of that. I really am sorry. If it wasn’t for her, this might have gone differently. But Alex is my first priority now.” She sighs, readjusts the nasal tube. “Can you help me stand? I don’t think I can get up from this floor without passing out.” Audrey does so, pulling Melanie up from her seated position. She wobbles, but stays on her feet.

“When are we getting back to Snowpiercer?” Audrey asks.

“You’ll have to ask Layton that,” Melanie says, her face distant and impassive. “One last thing.” The slap comes so fast Audrey doesn’t have the time to dodge. It’s not a ladylike action: Melanie puts her whole shoulder into it, and it nearly takes Audrey off her feet.

“Ow,” Audrey says, rubbing her jaw. “Fuck.”

“That’s for Alex. And everyone else you screwed over.” Melanie lets out a breath. “Now we’re even. If I ever catch you mistreating Alex again, I promise there’ll be more than that coming. I will never let you hurt her again.”

“Alright,” Audrey says, her ears ringing too hard to say much else.

“I’ll ask someone to bring you food,” Melanie says by way of farewell, then she sidesteps Audrey and leaves the room. She’s left alone again for a couple of hours, when the door opens just a crack and a stale sandwich is pushed through the gap. Audrey catches a glimpse of Alex’s distrustful face before the door slams shut again.

Pretty lousy dinner, Audrey thinks as she chews the sandwich made of Snowpiercer cheese and raggedy lettuce. It’s hard to feel grateful for it, even though any ‘nice’ food is a considerable indulgence. She overheard Alex suggesting they give her the protein blocks from the Tail.

The sun has fully set, and Audrey can’t find it in herself to turn on the light. She crawls to her sleeping bag, zips herself in. The darkness matches the gloom she feels inside. She has nowhere and no-one—not on this train, or Big Alice or Snowpiercer. Is there even any point in living? Audrey knows the others won’t let her die—she’s too valuable. Wilford will almost certainly kill her, though, and that seems almost enough. Zarah might not even intervene.

When I die, Audrey thinks, I won’t be around to see everyone hate me. Everyone will get their wish—and so will I. She doesn’t even have the strength to cry about it: she just lets the numbness wash over her, and guide her into a fitful sleep.

[lost-in-yujikiri]

Alicization Rewatch ep 22-23

1) Kirito and the Black Swordman persona

In my previous posts I have talked a lot about how Kirito actually dislikes his Black Swordman persona, the reason he’s always so awkward about exposing his Duel-Wielding skill even since ALO arc and his other related skills. And thus, while he was with Eugeo, the person with no knowledge of Kirito’s heroic fame of clearing Aincrad, he finally can stay true to his real self as a normal boy, and averted anything that is related to the Black Swordman.

However, when Kirito, Eugeo, and Alice S30 had to face their biggest enemies in Central Cathedral, he finally had to make a resolve to cast aside his inner turmoil and accept his deadly but strongest self that he tried to leave in the past, in order to pay back to Eugeo and Alice S30′s effort who had been helping him, and were helping him to defeat Chudelkin in 10 seconds. That lead to Kirito’s cool transformation scene to become the Black Swordman persona using Incarnation system, which helped him make a one shot kill.

*In the Cake timeline AU (If You Were Here - If You Wish It), a different Alicization timeline where Eugeo is still alive and Kirito/Eugeo have been together for 3 years, author Kawahara also made it clear that Eugeo is the anchor for Kirito to accept his Black Swordman persona so Kirito can turn back to that self and use its skills again.

In my mind, I’ve always been shirking from my Aincrad persona back when I was called the 《Black Swordsman》. To such an extent that I don’t even want to find out the reason why. I feel that it’s a combination of my self-degrading belief that I have no right to be treated as a hero, as well as my guilt towards the many people that have died in front of me, being associated with my past self. Yet, I believe that sensation has become quite toned down over the three years I spent with Eugeo here. While the fact that he has absolutely no knowledge of my past self is one of the factors for this, that’s not all there is to it. In front of Eugeo, I have always been able to be my true self. I’ve even been able to expose my bad and awful sides to him, wearing my heart on my sleeve. At this point in time, I might be able to accept my past self. Even as the persona of the Black Swordsman, the foundation of my Incarnation.

Novel Excerpt: SAO AU story If You Wish It Part 2

In this scene, Eugeo is very confused when he heard Administrator calling Kirito a person from “the other side”, and has a multiple conflicting thoughts happened in his mind. But Kirito thought before that he’d tell Eugeo everything if they are successful in this mission, thus this part:

For an instant, Kirito looked back at Eugeo. There was a multitude of emotions in his black pupils, but it seemed to Eugeo that foremost among them was pleading, a desperate wish for Eugeo to trust him.

LN source: Chapter 13 Part 2, Volume 14 Alicization Uniting

Sadly, that scenario never came true.

2) Administrator and Cardinal

The anime portrayed really well how terrifying, power-hungry and prideful Administrator is, and her rational point of view was even able to make Kirito unable to rebut. The Sword Golem made out of 300 living souls in UW is the epitome of her utmost cruelty and twisted view on human’s love. Even just one Sword Golem was even able to nearly kill Kirito and Alice S30 in mere seconds.

I can feel Eugeo’s despair here again, from countless times of seeing his best friends in danger or being left far away from them, unable to do anything.

The spider Charlotte, who has been with Kirito and Eugeo since the Zakkaria chapter in LN and Swordcraft Academy time decided to jump out to sacrifice itself for Eugeo to transport Cardinal here. It was a very sad goodbye for me, especially since I know how much help she was to the boys back in Zakkaria, unknowingly to them.

This is not the end to Administrator’s cruelty, she even intended to sacrifice 40,000 more souls to make her invincible army of Sword Golems to fend off the Dark Territory’s invasion. Also, despite all Administrator’s long babbles, her main goal in this fight was actually luring Cardinal here to kill her once and for all. That’s why when Cardinal arrived, Administrator closed off all doors of Central Cathedral from the outside world, so that even if any of them are heavily injured, they can’t draw Solus resource to heal their wounds, even Administrator herself (which is why when Administrator’s arm was cut off later, she couldn’t heal her arm and turned it to sword instead). That is how far she went to ensure Cardinal’s demise.

I recall from LN, The Rulid Trio were still so traumatized from the Sword Golem to the point of not being able to move from their frozen fear of death when Kirito & Alice S30 were stabbed to near death in mere seconds, as well as the fact that it’s made of 300 living human units that they didn’t have enough resolve to destroy. This is an example of what I call the reverse effect of Incarnation, which is also what put Kirito in his current state in WoU. The situation is dead end for Cardinal then: all the exits were sealed and Cardinal can’t directly kill 300 human units, because even though she might have been able to use her believing power to think that her decision to click an erase button to UW is “to save all UW souls”, it’s still against the Taboo Index for her to directly kill anything she knows as “human”. Meanwhile, Rulid Trio in their frightened state were literally dead weights for Cardinal, if Cardinal attacked Quinella, the Sword Golem will attack the trio, and if Cardinal attacked Sword Golem, she could deplete half of Quinella’s power in the process, but Quinella is still overpowered enough to kill off the Rulid Trio in that state.

So in her mind there is now only the slim chance that because Quinella had done everything just to lure Cardinal out of her 200 years of hiding, Quinella would do everything to ensure killing Cardinal first, Cardinal’s sacrifice would get enough time and motivations for the Trio to snap out of their fear, live on and defeat Administrator later. Also, even though Quinella can have her ways to bypass the Taboo Index, she can’t go against the rules & teaching set by her parents, her direct authority who have all passed away, which, as Cardinal explained to Kirito in LN, include from basic stuff like “You always have to put tea cup on tea dish” to morality like “You can not kill humans”, and in my speculation, Quinella’s parents also taught her “You have to keep your promises to others”, which is what Cardinal used to force Quinella to swear to her own Fluctlight instead of a fictional Goddess Stacia to not harm the Rulid Trio.

By the time Eugeo thought of a plan, it’s already too late for Cardinal.

3) Eugeo’s decision

When a person has chewed on their thoughts of being powerless for far too long, whenever they get their resolve, their inner willpower will be the strongest.

LN described Eugeo’s thoughts very clearly, at that moment he understood better than anyone that if they run away according to Cardinal’s wish, there is no other better chance to stop Administrator from turning 40,000 people into weapons. If they run away now they would just live with regret for years like he did, and Administrator of course would seperate them again. He thought of the seperation of Eldrie and his mother, Deusolbert and his wife, Alice and her family, and he was deadset on not letting such tragedies happen again. That’s why he thought of the analogy with the making of Sword Golem, and he asked Cardinal to turn him into a sword, with the driving core of his sword being the young Alice Zuberg’s soul crystal on the ceiling.

In the LN, Kirito wondered why only little Alice’s Crystal was not used to make the Sword Golem, and while watching Eugeo’s transformation, he came to an answer:

Thirty-one Integrity Knights. But only thirty swords in the Sword Golem. The fusion with Eugeo’s sword made it clear that the only memory fragment that hadn’t been used for that purpose was Alice’s. So why couldn’t Administrator forge a sword that would pair up with Alice’s memories? It must’ve been because Alice’s memories…her love…was too great. Young Alice loved Eugeo, loved Selka, loved her parents, loved everyone who lived in the village, loved Rulid itself, and even loved the time in which the people she loved lived and would continue to live. Even the almighty pontifex couldn’t convert time and space into solid matter. So she wasn’t able to make a sword she could link to Alice. And it was why the sword that Alice and Eugeo made was so beautiful and radiant.

LN source: Chapter 13 Part 5, Volume 14 Alicization Uniting

Therefore, the pure love of little Alice’s soul towards everybody around her is the true antithesis to Administrator’s twisted view of love. She is one of the strongest souls in UW, and befitting to fight against Administrator as well.

The giant white sword fought so well, that it defeated Sword Golem.

But much to Kirito’s desperate plea, Eugeo went off to fight Administrator as well.

And Eugeo managed to cut off Administrator’s arm…

But at a huge, huge cost…

Seeing Eugeo’s bloody form seemingly about to die, part of Kirito’s heart had died right there, his soul in tremendous pain.

“Ah……ah………” The sound that croaked from my throat came to my ears as though from a very far distance. The entire world lost color, lost smell, lost sound. Everything paled.

Let’s end this already. The thought rose from the emptiness like a bubble and popped. We—no, I—had lost, in every sense of the word. My one single reason for being in this place was to help free Eugeo’s soul into the real world. Instead, he’d sacrificed himself to protect me, and I was powerless, on my hands and knees—the man who would simply log out to reality when he died in the Underworld. I just want to fade out, to vanish from the world. I don’t want to see any more, hear any more. All I prayed for was my own obliteration. But the Underworld was its own reality, and its master was not a program designed to stop once you hit the bad ending.

LN source: Chapter 13 Part 5, Volume 14 Alicization Uniting

And when Aministrator came to the despaired Kirito to finish him off, Alice S30 jumped out to take her hit for him, and it jolt him back to remember the past, Asuna sacrificed herself to save him, just now Charlotte, Cardinal, little Alice Zuberg and Eugeo also just did so in this fight, and Alice S30 is the last one. How many more times he would keep despairing and did nothing to save the situation?

And so Kirito stood back up to fight again.

Amidst his deepest pain he’s ever felt, here it comes his final resistance, his last ditch effort

[beautiful-de4mity]

[Alice Nine Fanfiction] ASYLUM (Chapter 2)

Hiroto feels a faint twinge in his chest as he notices the gleam of admiration for the doctor named Amano in Shou’s beautiful eyes. He says nothing more and lets Shou back on scrutinizing the notebooks and journals he has been reading after promising Hiroto to have lunch together. Shou looks so excited despite being exhausted, thought Hiroto, surely Shou really admires that Amano guy.

Chapter 02 [Vulnerable]

Author: beautiful-de4mity

Fandom: Alice Nine

A/n: I’m happy to be this productive and excited on writing again! I actually overdid the research on this theme and one of my readers told me not to put too detailed things since this is only a piece of fanfiction 😂 in the next chapters, I’m trying to focus more on the relationships between characters. Ganbarimasu!

Inspired song: ASYLUM from PLANET NINE Album

Disclaimer: Can we all agree that Alice Nine’s bonds are so wonderful we can literally ship every member with anyone? /I’m talking trash lol

The wall clock in his office points at ‘one’ in the morning but Amano Tora is still enjoying the online game The Last of Us, which he plays with some friends through his customized PC. It was a tiring day in fact as the hospital research team was running a series of tests and monitoring on Saga and the poor boy doesn’t seem to be in a good condition. Saga was being a handful today; kept fighting back and trying to escape from the running procedures. Finally, they had to completely sedate Saga and put him to sleep forcefully after his attempt to strangle one of the doctors. Tora exhales instinctively as the scene flashes through his mind, distracting his focus from the game until his friends’ panic yelp are heard through the headphones.

“Warui, warui,” Tora picks back his focus on the game.

Tora finishes the game thirty minutes later, placing the headphones on the keyboard and taking off his glasses. The young doctor leans back on the chair, massaging the bridge of his nose and exhales for the umpteenth time. The corner of his eye catches Saga’s assessment chart, which is still empty since this afternoon since everything went off plan. Tora somewhat feels relieved for Ohara Shou, the psychology student he was involved in researching Saga’s case, reported that he couldn’t come because of a group assignment today. Tora doesn’t want to scare Shou by seeing Saga went berserk and change his mind. Tora is really fond of Shou’s research proposal, it is very potential and promising.

The hospital corridor in the psychiatric ward is deserted, of course, it is almost dawn. Only a few people from the night shift remaining, chatting in the administration section sipping coffee. Tora smiles when several nurses greet him and giggle, making him shake his head as he enters the toilet. It is a public secret that Amano Tora becomes the idol of the female staffs in the psychiatric ward, even staffs from other departments throughout this hospital know him. Even so, Tora is not interested in dating anyone at all. Currently, work and games are two aspects of his life that he can’t abandon.

Tora pauses for a moment at the turn of the corridor upon returning from the toilet, staring at the door of Saga’s room several meters ahead where the young man is still sleeping under the anesthetic effect. Tora’s wondering if he should check on the poor boy’s condition even though he could just go to the monitor room to look through the CCTV. The young doctor finally walks over to Saga’s room and peeks through the glass window. Tora’s forehead frowned when he finds out Saga is writhing restlessly on his bed as if he is struggling to escape from something. Was he tied up earlier? Tora hurriedly pasts his ID to unlock the door, he then darts next to Saga’s bed and more surprised to find Saga’s shaking drenched in sweat. The young man seemed to be trying hard to fight something in his sleep but could not scream for someone to wake him up.

“Saga,” Tora kneels beside the bed and tries to wake his patient. “Saga, are you okay?” as slowly as possible, Tora shakes Saga’s body so that he won’t be startled or terrified.

Saga is trembling badly that Tora feels the need to grab onto Saga’s thin shoulders to prevent him from falling off the bed. Saga looks like he is trying to fight something terrible in his sleep, Tora can see clearly the expression of fear even though Saga’s eyes are closed. Saga clenches his jaws tightly, holding back the screams while both of his hands groping for the air almost punch Tora’s face. Just when Tora decides to force Saga to wake up, both of Saga’s eyelids opened. In the dark. Tora catch the glint of tears pooling down his dark irises. With a broken breath, Saga jolts up and immediately grabs Tora’s neck, hugging him very tightly as if he intends to break the young doctor’s neck. Tora tries not to make any sudden movements that can trigger Saga to panic even though his neck starts to ache.

Cautiously, Tora got up from his kneeling position and sits on the edge of Saga’s bed while Saga still clinging onto him like a Koala. Tora can feel Saga’s ferocious heartbeat, so fast that it might explode at any moment even though his body gradually stops shaking while his white clothes are soaked with sweat.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” Tora pats Saga on the shoulder awkwardly.

Saga buries his face in Tora’s shoulder more deeply, not making a sound.

“You had a nightmare?” asks Tora, followed by a small nod as the answer.

The young doctor fixes his position so that Saga can calm himself faster, while Saga himself feels a little confused about his own reaction: clinging on Tora as if Tora is a magnetic field. Come to think of it since the beginning of his arrival at this hospital’s psychiatric ward, Amano Tora is the only person who makes him feel safe and Saga doesn’t mind at all having any kind of contact with him. Even at this moment, Saga can clearly smell the faint scent of Tora’s perfume mixed with trail of tobacco, oddly helps him to calm down.

“I’ll leave when you can sleep again,” Tora breaks the silence when the sound of their breaths is the only sound heard in the room a few moments later.

Saga quickly shakes his head, gripping the front of Tora’s shirt to indicate the young doctor not to leave him. The response makes Tora’s brows furrowed in surprise. Indeed, all this time Saga has always shown a rather sweet, cooperative-good boy attitude to him, but he does not expect Saga to be this vulnerable with him when Saga usually guarded and distance himself from people. Tora takes notes carefully in his mind about Saga’s current behavior to be written later on the assessment chart he left on his desk.

“Okay, I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep,” again, Tora strokes Saga on the shoulder awkwardly.

For the first time in three months under his specialist care, Saga shows signs that he is starting to trust Tora. If Saga could tell Tora directly about how the young doctor make him feel safe and at ease whenever Tora is around, maybe Tora wouldn’t have been wondering this much. Saga manages to go back to sleep around three a.m. in the morning. Tora’s body feels so beaten up and he almost gives up temptation to fall asleep beside Saga. But he can’t let people find him sleeping while having his patient on his arms like that afterall.

***

Ogata Hiroto, a petite-built art student with flaming blonde hair, is pacing back and forth with a confused look of a typically lost child in the psychology faculty library building in his search for Shou. For several days, he had gone back and forth to the psychology faculty to find his senior, but the results were always to no avail. Shou didn’t reply to his LINE, didn’t update his YouTube channel, and didn’t update his Instagram for three days in a row, Hiroto was worried. Hiroto’s gaze finds a flash of Shou’s somewhat disheveled brunette hair on the desk next to “Journal Publications” section shelves, appearing star-like sparkling effect in the cute young man’s eyes.

“Shou yaaaaaan!” Hiroto’s excited voice and the sight of him running happily towards Shou, drawing all of the library visitors’ attention. “Ah, sorry, sorry,” Hiroto gives a shy bow as people stare at him with blasphemous looks.

Shou looks up from his notebook and journal print outs that are scattered on the table, he smiles sweetly at Hiroto. Shou’s face is slightly pale with trace of dark circles under his eyes, and overall he looks unusually scruffy. Hiroto is anxious and astonished as he sits next to Shou.

“Shou yan, are you okay? Shou yan sick or something?“ Hiroto’s eyebrows knitted, observing Shou’s unusual appearance from head to toe.

"No, I’m just having bunch of assignments,” Shou replies softly, putting down the pen he is still holding and now focusing on Hiroto completely. “What brings you here?”

Hiroto pouts, “I’ve been looking for you for the past three days, you know! Shou yan didn’t reply to my LINE, didn’t post anything on SNS even though usually you upload something regularly,” the cute young man sulks.

Shou ruffles Hiroto’s blonde hair exasperatedly, “Sorry, I’m really busy lately because the midterm exam right around the corner and Amano sensei has just invited me to join his research team,” explains the beautiful-eyed young man, his face flushes with joy when he mentioned ‘Amano sensei’.

“Who is Amano sensei?” noticing the unusual glow in Shou’s face makes Hiroto feel uneasy.

“Oh, him,” Shou’s face which was slightly pale now beamed. “He’s a neuropsychiatric at the private central hospital in Shibuya. When I was a freshman, the faculty invited him to be one of the speakers and since then I have been interested in doing research in neuropsychiatry. A few days ago I sent my research proposal on mutism and asked him to be the instrument validator. Surprisingly, he then recruited me to the hospital research team that currently is handling a case of mutism,“ Shou explains enthusiastically.

Hiroto feels a faint twinge in his chest as he notices the gleam of admiration for the doctor named Amano in Shou’s beautiful eyes. He says nothing more and lets Shou back on scrutinizing the notebooks and journals he has been reading after promising Hiroto to have lunch together. Shou looks so excited despite being exhausted, thought Hiroto, surely Shou really admires that Amano guy. Without Shou noticing, Hiroto is now watching him closely with his chin rests on his hand. Hiroto plays the memory where they first met inside his head. Shou was his two-year-older senior in high school. Shou is popular, student’s committee president, and also worked as a model for several local magazines. He’s always been so charming and stylish plus having brilliant personality that no one can resist.

It could be said that Shou saved Hiroto’s high school life. Being so shy, Hiroto found it difficult to make friends with other people. He always ate lunch alone in the school grounds until Shou accidentally found him and they have always had lunch together since then. Shou even helped Hiroto joining the photography club because Hiroto was too shy to do it himself and encouraged him to be the student committee. Shou has a huge role in shaping Hiroto’s current personality and Hiroto has always clung to Shou like a stray puppy.

Seeing Shou being highly motivated because of someone else like this, somehow brings up a feeling of reluctance even though Shou’s attitude hasn’t changed towards him at all. Hiroto lets out a sigh.