#that I cannot explain easily but yeah | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

httpknjoon · 7 days ago

Text

anyone but you | myg

plot | that time on tour where the popstar would talk with everyone in the tour except her bassist, Yoongi. The one she cannot stop thinking about.

w.c | 6.2k+

pairing | bass guitarist!yoongi x popstar!reader

genre | mostly angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, slow burn

note | i love your mind thank you for sending this idea @enfppuff <3 I loved writing this one, I hope y'all will enjoy reading it :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

DAY 93: TOKYO, JAPAN

It took you one song in the rehearsals to notice someone sitting in one of the empty seats of Tokyo Dome. You were specifically singing the bridge for Taste when you spotted a brunette, wearing a baseball cap, on the very back seats in the floor area. It was easy for you to recognize she is not part of your tour staff since everyone has a uniform lanyard for their IDs. She has a neon green lanyard, indicating that she’s somebody’s visitor.

But the brunette woman is not some other woman, you know her. You recognized her. The one from The Late Late Show. The writer who kept bringing up great ideas and witty lines for you during the show. The one who was with your bass guitarist the whole night during the afterparty in December.

“Bea!”

It was during the rehearsal’s end that you fully processed who she is. You were on stage, in the middle of a three-person conversation with Art and your tour director, when you saw Yoongi walk up to Bea with two cups of coffee in his hands.

Why is she here?

The question formed in your head. Watching from a distance, you felt like a hawk, observing how they easily chat and laugh with Bea, unconsciously patting your bassist’s lap every time she giggles. Yoongi seemed comfortable with her, with his arm resting behind her chair. Then, another question made you wanna throw up.

Are they together?

“Hey. YN.” Donny, your tour director, snapped his fingers in front of you, snatching your attention from the couple. “Do you understand?”

“Ye… Yeah,” you nodded, stuttering since anything he said barely registered in your brain.

“Good. So you agree with the neon green lights and balloons?” he asked.

Lines formed between your brows, “Huh?”

The two men chuckled at your confused reaction. Donny simply tapped Art’s shoulder, “I’m just kidding. I’m sure Art understood everything; he can explain if you have questions. Okay? Take a rest for now, YN.”

You just smiled as he walked away, leaving you alone with your tour manager, who can easily tell what’s distracting you. He crossed his arms as he watched you look at Yoongi and his friend.

“In case you’re wondering, Yoongi asked for an extra ticket for her to watch your show tomorrow.” Art shared.

You looked at him, “Are they…”

You cannot even finish the question. Because halfway, you realized how stupid it is to ask about your infamous not-friend’s relationship status with a girl he surely has great chemistry with.

When did she even get here in Tokyo?

You and the whole concert team flew here just yesterday, so that you can fully prepare yourself for the tour’s first show in Asia. Especially since the current weather in Japan is very different from LA. Amidst the awkwardness you have with Yoongi, you thought you could just convert all your frustrations into attention and focus to rehearse for the rest of the tour. But how? How am I suppose to fucking focus—

“Dating? I don’t know. But his asking for a ticket and visitor pass kinda says a lot.” Art shrugged, knowing well that he was stirring something hot. Both he and Cal have already chatted about this weird tension between you and Yoongi. But since neither of you two will say anything might as well just let the whole thing steam. He asked, “Why?”

“Nothing.” You turned your head away and walked away, avoiding Art’s look, to go get yourself something strong to drink. Maybe a shot of espresso.

“My god, this is so bitter.”

After sipping from the coffee he got her, Bea mumbled under her breath. She didn’t say it in a way that meant to offend him, Yoongi knows. So he offered the warm cup in his hand, still unopened.

“You can take mine. Americano, it’s less bitter.”

“Thank you.” Bea smiled, swapping their drinks. “But my god, isn’t it a red flag if a person drinks espresso as their choice of coffee? Like, no water? Creamer?”

Yoongi simply chuckled at that, but because he remembered someone else who did like espresso. He learned that fact about you in his first week being your bassist. You were grumpy for the first rehearsals, and Cal asked him to hand you your coffee after he passed by you in the catering area. She was obviously busy with other stuff, so Yoongi didn’t mind a simple help of giving you your espresso. He remembered seeing how your face brightened the moment that caffeine hit your system. You squirmed and smiled for the first time that day.

“Anyway, enough with the coffee talk here,” Bea tapped his lap, “Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?”

“Yeah, of course. Why?” Yoongi raised a brow.

“Nothing, it’s just that it feels weird. Everyone around me is working, and I’m just sitting here by myself, watching you guys. I’m so used to being a part of the group that’s busy preparing for the upcoming show,” she laughed, referring to her late-night job.

“It’s fine, you’re a visitor of mine. Plus, you’re not really causing any trouble here.” Yoongi assured her. “And don’t stress out on not stressing out right now. That’s why you’re here, right? You needed a break from being busy.”

She agreed, leaning on her chair, “I really do. Fortunately, you guys came here at the same time I am staying here! I can’t wait to watch YN again! I heard that she got new outfits, is that true?”

“Still doing your advanced research?” he teased her.

“It’s in my DNA,” she replied, smiling, before her phone buzzed. “Wait, I’ll just take this one.”

Bea stood up and left to answer the call. Meanwhile, Yoongi looked back on the stage, where he last saw you minutes ago. He sees you talking with Art before walking away, seemingly so out of it since you almost tripped on the stairs. His eyes followed you as you left for the exit way. He wished you would just do the same thing in his head.

Exit.

Because ever since that night after the afterparty, Yoongi wasn’t really able to function well. When you asked him to leave your room that night, he was embarrassed and confused, and it led him to book the earliest flight from New York to LA just so he could avoid you in the planned meeting tomorrow. During that six-hour flight, Yoongi barely slept a wink.

"I-I think we crossed a line that we probably should not have."

You said that night. That kiss was a mistake. That giggling and banter in the middle of your makeout was a mistake. He was a mistake. To you. He apologized before leaving your room that night, since maybe he had crossed the line. Maybe he misunderstood that you two are way past those immature banters you shared for months. But it hit him during that same flight that maybe you two would never really get along well. Yoongi tried to excuse the whole thing as a result of too much drinking, even though he barely tasted the alcohol on your tongue. Hell, he can even taste the sweet strawberry from your lip gloss.

Spending Christmas with his family, Yoongi tried to let go of whatever happened that night. But he was so consumed by the thought of you that he almost forgot that it was his first holiday as a single man after his failed engagement with Sara. If it wasn’t with his aunt accidentally bringing up his ex, Yoongi would have forgotten that he and Sarah were supposed to tie the knot in January of the upcoming year.

Between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, Yoongi tried to distract himself. Then, he got a call from her. Sara wanted to meet up before the year ends. He only agreed when she promised that she would be alone and wouldn’t be accompanied by her fiancé. Then, all the frustration from that afterparty was temporarily taken over by the resentment he felt towards Sara, since seeing her pregnant for the first time didn’t really make him feel better.

But once Yoongi sat in that cafe with her, Sara was nothing but humble and apologetic. She mentioned she didn’t want to end the year without confessing her true remorse for what she had done to him. Yoongi thought that the conversation would end with him still being a bitter man. But it didn’t. Like real mature people, he and Sara talked about everything. She openly answered his questions and heavily pressed on the fact that he was faultless for what happened with their relationship. She took accountability for everything, apologizing for how she had wronged him.

She did cry. A lot. Maybe partly because of hormones. But Yoongi knew that Sara was genuinely guilty. He knew that apologizing had always been hard for her after years of them being together. So he accepted her apologies. Then, to calm her down, they began talking again like friends. Yoongi was mature enough to ask her about her pregnancy, wanting to know how she’s doing after the breakup and with this new phase of her life. She did the same thing, congratulating him for going on tour with a pop star. Something she held him back to during their relationship.

“You seemed really happy on stage with her,” Sara mentioned, something that somehow stayed in his mind until now.

As someone who knows him best, Sara will be the most verified person to say that. But Yoongi tried to shake it off during the chat. When he got home that day, he turned off his phone for the next two days so that he could avoid searching you up ever again. Then the new year came. He celebrated alone at his apartment, not really in the mood to go to a friend’s big party where he had been invited to. Instead, Yoongi got himself an expensive bottle of wine and played with his guitar until the fireworks outside set off. He finally opened his phone to greet his parents and friends. He just finished a call with his mom when he got a call. This time, it’s you. You were drunk and crying. He doesn’t even know if you remember the conversation you two had in that call.

“I hate receiving calls like that!”

Yoongi snapped his head when Bea came back, sitting next to him. He blinked, scolding himself in his head for drifting away.

“What happened?” he asked, trying to stay present.

“Work stuff. Apparently, there are some documents they need from me, and I have them in my apartment back in LA, so…” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll book the earliest flight after tomorrow’s show.”

“Well,” Yoongi stood up, “I guess we have to make the most of your time here?”

Bea smiled, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

The two began walking to the same exit way you had walked on earlier. Since the dome’s main gates, where fans come in and out, are still closed, they have to take the way where crew members go in and out of, which means they came across everyone.

“Hey, lovebugs!” Noah called them as they passed by the band, who were chatting in the catering area. Yoongi and Bea just shake their heads at the nickname, shrugging it off. “Where are you off to?”

“We’ll just go around the city. Maybe eat and visit some nearby spots.” Bea replied.

Yoongi added, “Yeah, but this one has to leave after the show tomorrow. So, we’ll just do it now. You can come with us if you want to.”

“Oh, we will,” Fred said before they all stood up, cleaning up their table.

While waiting for them, Yoongi listened to Bea’s impromptu itinerary. She mentioned something about a nearby garden and various fancy cafes, but all of it became a noise when Yoongi noticed you walked in with Cal and a slight frown on your lips. He felt like a ghost, watching you like he were invisible. Before, you complained about his eyes throwing daggers, but those daggers seemed to fly over your head since you act like you won’t even see him. Then, he sees Noah walk up to you.

“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Bea yanked him back to reality, waving her now-empty coffee cup in his sight.

“Hmm?” Yoongi hummed, not really catching up.

Bea, who has been observant ever since she came here today, simply smiled, “I said, it’s cold outside. We should get thicker coats in Kagurazaka.”

Yoongi nodded quietly, slightly embarrassed that he had been spacing out a lot lately. Noah then walked to them while hooking his arm with yours. You were looking at everyone except Yoongi, who is now in front of you.

“She’s coming with us. YN’s a little bummed out that there’s no espresso left here. We’re getting her that outside.” Your best friend cheered you up like a little kid.

Yoongi noticed you smile, but it did not reach your eyes. He looked down at the still-full coffee cup in his hand. Should he just give it to you? Maybe not. It’s already cold. So cold.

You really have no energy to stroll around the city for some reason. But Noah insists that you join them: “Stop moping around and come with us.”

“I am not moping around. Why would I mop around? It’s my first show after a few weeks for God’s sake,” you replied, denying whatever he was throwing at you. “And I already agreed that I’m joining you guys.”

“Then don’t drag your feet to walk.” Noah teased. “And please. Stop glaring at Yoongi.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “I am not glaring at anyone. I just need my espresso, and I’m gonna be okay.”

Excuses, excuses. You whispered in your head. Walking behind the group, Noah made sure to keep you company since everyone walked in pairs. Fred and Akio. You and Noah. Bea and Yoongi.

You can’t help but watch them. Those two act like they have known each other for the longest time. They seemed pretty comfortable with each other. Why does it look like it’s easy for them to be with each other? You can see Yoongi, who usually gives you blank stares, and his gummy smile from where you stand behind them, while Bea points out something and laughs. They are like sunshine, while you and Yoongi are ice-cold like the weather today in Japan.

Sighing, you looked down at your white boots walking on the pavement.

“You know, if you keep sighing like that, can you at least tell me what’s going on?” Noah mumbled beside you.

You looked up, forcing a smile, “Nothing. Just a little nervous for tomorrow.”

“YN…” your friend paused and tucked a part of your hair behind your ear, “Your nose is saying something else.”

He chuckled as your eyes widened before holding your nose. Everyone who has known you for a while knows that when you say something untrue, your nose flares.

“Whatever. But you know that I am always here for you, right?” he asked, and you nodded, leaning your head on his arm.

It took more minutes of walking until you found the cafe that Bea talked about. She turned around, pointing at it from a distance.

“That is the one! I have seen so many TikTok videos about their matcha latte!”

“Oh, yeah! I’ve been there once too, when I flew here last holiday. I think you guys will love their croffles.” Akio added enthusiastically.

Akio and Bea went in first, excited to see the menu. Yoongi held the door for everyone. You were the last one to walk in, and you tried not to look back as you could feel his eyes on you. Even though you won’t say anything, you can always feel when he’s looking at you.

The moment you got in, you noticed how warm the cafe is. It’s cozy and well-lit, following the beige and white aesthetic for everything. Soft jazz music plays in the background as the soothing aroma of coffee fills the place. Before looking for a spot, everyone came in front of the display case to see what pastries were available. You were quiet while everyone chose.

“Croffles or that tiramisu?”

You heard a voice behind you. But instead of turning around or answering, you stepped away and stood next to Fred, who was already lining up to order for everyone. He was looking at the menu board when he noticed you next to him, unaware of your avoidance of someone.

“How ‘bout you? Still espresso?”

You smiled, wordlessly, nodding your head. As everyone found the perfect spot to sit on, you decided to stay with your drummer. There are still two people ahead of you, so you two get to chat a little.

“My wife would have loved that heart-shaped strawberry mousse. She loves cute pastries like those,” he told you, making you smile with that wholesome thought.

“Lara’s a pastry chef, right?”

He nods, “Yep, she runs her own shop back in LA. Baking has always been her passion ever since we were kids.”

“You two were childhood sweethearts?! That’s really sweet,” you swooned.

He chuckled, “Not really, we knew each other since we were kids. But we only got together in our late 20s. My mom always told me it took us too long to finally be together.”

You smiled at that, looking at the heart-shaped cake in the display case, “Maybe not. Maybe, you two are just like one of those slow burners…”

“Yeah, maybe,” he smiled as he remembered his wife. “It took us almost twenty years and five failed relationships to realize that maybe we’re meant for each other. Great things take time.”

As if on cue, it was your turn to order. Fred did all the talking, and you just stood there. But you can feel that the cashier recognized you, which is fair since you were not really wearing anything that could cover your face. She shyly said hi to you, and you greeted her back with a smile. After ordering, the staff told you that your orders would be served. Walking to the table your friends chose, you quickly noticed the available seats left. One is next to Bea and Akio, and the other is between Noah… and Yoongi. Noah finally noticed you in the middle of their chat, immediately seeing your hesitation on the seating arrangement. He raised his brow as if he were telling you to just come sit next to him. You exhaled before finally walking over to sit between the two.

Who knew that a gentle brush on the knee could make him shiver?

Yoongi shifted from his seat the moment your knee accidentally touched his when you just sat down beside him. He tried to focus on the front of him, where Bea sat, but she was already deep into the chat with the others. Their conversation was bouncing from one topic to another. Noah spoke about the nearby garden they’ll visit later, making Yoongi look at his way. But instead of his eyes landing on his bandmate, he found you scrolling on your phone.

But you barely reacted to whatever your screen showed you. It was like you were mindlessly scrolling just to not look awkward with people around you. But he can tell. He hates that he can tell. Yoongi turned his gaze back to Bea, who was now speaking.

“Oh my god, they are playing your song.” Bea gasped, referring to you. “That’s my favorite from your recent EP.”

“Thank you,” you finally spoke, smiling in a way that Yoongi could tell was forced.

Just as their orders were being served, a familiar song was playing all over the place. It was one of the songs he worked with you during those late nights of last year’s December. He remembered you knocking on his hotel room door just moments after you got back from your shows, showing up in your most casual clothes. Maybe handing him coffee or chips the moment he opened the door for you. You two would exchange opinions on making your song, but never argue about it.

Yoongi was too filled with thoughts of you that he unconsciously reached for the freshly brewed espresso and placed it in front of you. You looked at him, slightly surprised. But he didn’t meet your eyes. Instead, he was already looking at Bea. You wanted to thank him, but opted to just take a sip of your most-awaited espresso.

“Oh, isn’t this pretty?” she swooned over the croffles that were topped with whipped cream and various types of berries.

Akio showed off the different slices of different cakes, ordered by others, too, “Look at these, too!”

“Oh, let me take a picture. I’ll send it to my wife.” Fred stood up and hovered over the table to capture a good picture of the pastries.

After that, Bea unexpectedly placed a slice of strawberry shortcake in front of you, “You should try this one. I don’t know why, but I ordered them for you because it reminded me of your cute outfit today.”

That made you giggle. Genuinely, for the first time today. “Thank you, you’re so sweet, Bea.”

Slight relief washes over Yoongi when he hears that light and soft laugh from you. You picked up your fork and sliced a corner of the shortcake gently before taking a bite. He can tell you liked it as you chewed, nodding your head.

“I love it,” you said mid-chew before offering, “You guys should try it!”

Yoongi quietly watched as you pushed the plate in the center of the table so that everyone could get a taste. He watched you look at everyone’s reactions with delight. Noah’s random moan like he just fell in love with cake made everyone laugh. You laughed so hard, your smile finally reached your eyes, which made Yoongi smile too.

The day went on with you being much more active than you were earlier. You were laughing a lot over Noah’s jokes and telling everyone how beautiful the garden is. You felt much lighter as you walked into the tranquil Korakuen Garden.

“The espresso really helps, huh?” Noah whispered next to you.

You chuckled, “Definitely.”

Looking around, you walked ahead when you saw a koi pond. You took out your phone to take pictures, something you will post on your stories soon. You cannot help but smile at how pretty everything is. But then, when you turned around, your shoulders slowly deflated like popped balloons when you spotted Yoongi taking pictures of Bea candidly under the cherry blossoms. You pursed your lips, trying not to frown. You just looked back at the pond, exhaling whatever you’ve been feeling.

“Hey, YN! Come here.”

Turning around once again, you see Akio motioning her hand for you to come stand next to her and for Noah to take group pictures. And that's what happened for the next few hours, you joined the band to avoid being quiet and alone with your messy feelings. You linked arms with Akio and Noah, talking about anything. Fred joined in, too. You also had quick, short chats with Bea about the weather and your recent experiences while staying here in the foreign country.

You learned that she came to Japan after asking for a two-week break. But it has only been a week, and she told you she has to go back to New York after your show tomorrow.

“That’s unfair, you asked for two weeks!” you protested to her as you two walked side by side while Yoongi stayed behind with Fred. You are now on your way to the nearest shopping district, which is Kagurazuka.

“I know!” Bea exclaimed, matching your energy. “But I think it’s better to just go home early. I miss working in that hectic show anyway.”

“Oh my god, Bea. You’re having Stockholm Syndrome,” you quipped, making her laugh.

“Maybe I am, but I’m making money off it anyway.”

While you two laughed once again, someone watched behind you quietly. Although Yoongi is relieved to see you get more comfortable, he cannot help but notice how you talked with everyone except him. You even got closer to Bea. The moment you two got into your own little chat, Yoongi began thinking that you were avoiding him. He tried reaching out, asking you about pastries, even unconsciously handing you your coffee, and tried to stand next to you when Bea made you and the band take a group photo, but you exchanged spots with Akio.

He tried not to think much of it, making up reasons in his head just to avoid making the distance between you two bigger. Maybe you did not hear him when he asked about croffles and tiramisu, maybe you said thanks for the coffee, he just didn’t hear it, or you just like standing at the end of a group photo instead of the center. But Yoongi got the confirmation on his hunch when he found himself standing a few feet next to you in front of a quirky souvenir shop in the not-so-busy shopping district of Kagurazaka. Your friends were inside buying gifts for their family and friends back home, while you decided to wait outside, and so did Yoongi.

It has been ten minutes since you two have been alone. The sun sets between the small buildings of the district while Yoongi watches you watch everything that walks in front of you. A couple holding hands as they giggle. Another tourist with a couple of shopping bags in each hand. A little boy holding a fish-shaped bread next to his mother. He saw the corner of your lips pull up as you eyed the cute kid.

“He looked like he won the lottery,” he said, trying to break the silence and start a conversation.

But you just smiled wearily, still not looking at him, “He does.”

That type of response is kind of hard to follow for someone who is often quiet like Yoongi. But he’s trying, he’s really trying to make a sensible conversation with you. Something that can assure him that the silent treatment won’t be permanent for the rest of the tour. So he tried once again, keeping his hands in his coat’s pockets.

“This is a really peaceful place for a shopping district, don’t you think?”

You nodded, “Yeah, it is.”

Then, silence joined in again, standing between you two. And Yoongi felt that he could not really do much anymore since you were not really interested in talking with him. He waited for you to say something. Five seconds. Thirty seconds. A minute. Then a few more minutes passed before he pressed his lips together and stared at the cobblestone pavement.

“Am I…” he paused, feeling his chest tighten, “Is me, being here, bothering you?”

Yoongi saw you in his peripheral turning your head in his direction before looking away again. You murmured, “No.”

“I’m starting to feel like I’m not supposed to be here. With you,” he whispered, letting his honest thoughts roll off his tongue.

“You are, Yoongi. You are supposed to be here. You’re my bassist,” you told him, saying the first thing in your head.

You meant good with that, Yoongi knows. But somehow that last line stings. Something snapped in his head, reminding him that maybe he’s just overthinking everything.

So he lets out a dry chuckle, “Ah, yes. That’s right, just you’re bassist.”

After noticing the time, everyone decided to finally go back to the hotel and rest. You were grateful that you and everyone could just take a walk from everything you went to today, then back to your hotel. Except for Bea, who has her booked Airbnb in the other city because she came here earlier.

“Guys, I need to go. My ride’s here,” she smiled sadly as everyone arrived in the hotel lobby. She then began hugging everyone goodbye, including you, “I had so much fun. Thank you so much for letting me tag along with you. I’ll watch you tomorrow.”

You smiled, waving at her, as she walked away with Yoongi, who you assumed walked her to her ride. You watched their backs quietly. He was carrying her shopping bags and opened the door for her. They were still talking as they went out.

“I was thinking of visiting their bar here tonight,” Noah brought up, making you look back at your left group.

You smiled, “Noah, we have a show tomorrow.”

“I know! But Akio and I just want to visit it. I heard they have a jazz band every night, just want to see and listen,” he insisted. “Don’t you want to come?”

“I can’t,” you shook your head. “I think I’m already tired from all the walking we did. And I can’t drink before any show. I do stupid things.”

A lot of stupid shit.

“I’ll go with you!” Fred joined in, moving next to his two younger bandmates. “Don’t worry, YN, I’ll make sure that they won’t get drunk tonight.”

Akio joked, “Okay, Dad.”

Everyone laughed at that. Eventually, you parted with them. They went to the hotel bar while you walked to the elevator. You have to wait for a new one for a few minutes until the doors open. You got in, so ready to get into your room to change into your pajamas and rest. The doors were about to close in a few seconds when a hand slid in, triggering the sensors to open the doors again.

Of course, it’s Yoongi.

You looked away, your hands forming into fists inside your coat’s pockets. Yoongi walked in and stood on the opposite corner of the elevator. You and Yoongi in the elevator seemed to be a dangerous formula based on your last interaction in the same place. Completely opposite from your past closeness in the elevator back when you two got back from the afterparty, the air has completely shifted now. You stared at the mirrored walls in front of you, not wanting to look at him.

“So, is this how it’s gonna be until this tour ends?” he calmly whispered, leaning on the rail.

Yoongi took the initiative to break the silence once again because it’s getting hard. His chest is being filled with an overwhelming amount of words that he cannot let out. His brain is gonna explode with the thoughts filling it. All while his heart beats like crazy underneath his chest.

“What?” you mumbled.

He sighed, “You won’t talk to me or worse, even look at me? Like I’m just a ghost to you.”

Instead of answering, your eyes find comfort in the numbers counting down the floors your elevator passed by. You know you cannot do this forever, but you also know that you cannot do this right now with how messy your head is. So when you hear the familiar ding, you immediately step outside the doors.

Yoongi followed behind you, “Yeah, leave. That’s right.”

“I was not the first one who left,” you bit back without turning around, just walking to your door.

That sentence quickly made his blood boil, yet Yoongi tried to remain calm: “You were the one who asked me to leave that night, YN. You said there was a line we probably shouldn’t have crossed, and I understood. It’s fine. But you called me during New Year’s, and I don’t know what’s happening anymore, YN.”

It’s pointless to fight over that because you know that in the end, you were the one in the wrong. You were the one who made him leave, pointing out how everything is a mistake before it can even happen. You were also the one who called him, drunk, probably crying over him. But still, your head feels like a ransacked office. There are papers everywhere, drawers were all open and disheveled, and you’re just standing in the middle, helplessly not knowing what to do.

You gathered up all of the courage in your system and finally turned around to look at him, “I don’t know what you want from me, Yoongi.”

“Talk, I want to talk with you, YN,” he whispered. He sounds tired yet calm and patient.

“I am talking with you right now.”

He sighed, “You know what the hell I mean. I want us to talk about what happened. About us.”

“There’s no us to begin with,” you replied, and you can see something shift through his eyes. His brows scrunched together. But you went on, “and what’s the point anyway? You’re with someone else alre—”

“Bea’s a friend,” he cuts you off, quickly cleaning up any of your assumptions about his relationships. “Just a friend I invited to come watch. That’s all.”

“Yeah, right.” you chuckled dryly before attempting to open the door, but Yoongi held the knob before you can.

You still don’t believe him a hundred percent, Yoongi can tell. He continued, “She was not here to make you jealous. She saw my story that I’m in Tokyo, asked about the show, and I invited her to watch. I’m sorry that I—”

“Why are you apologizing?!” you snapped, like his apologizing is making everything harder for you. You can feel tears stinging in the corners of your eyes just because of how patient he is with you. “You don’t have to say sorry for that, Yoongi. You don’t owe me that.”

Your voice cracked at the end as you said his name. You looked down, feeling cornered. Yoongi’s shoulders tensed down. He wanted to reach out, hold you in his arms. But before he could step forward, you spoke again.

“Why do you want to talk with me?”

“I,” he sighed. “I just want us to go back the way we were before.’

“Before?” you repeated with your tone showing slight sarcasm. “Yoongi, before that night, we barely talked properly. We’re just co-workers who often disagree on things, flirt on stage, and ignore each other backstage.”

You clenched your fists as you let those lies come out of your mouth. It was untrue because when you look at him, you see someone who wrote and produced songs with him until 2 AM. The one who’s quiet and patient with every gimmick you pull during performance, going along easily. Someone who apologized even though he did not make you cry intentionally and bought you that thick souvenir notebook from Milwaukee, the one she brings with her everywhere to write songs on. And mostly, he is the only one who can easily read your thoughts just by staring at you quietly.

And maybe that's what led you to say those words to him. Yoongi is not just some person or colleague that you will see at work every day. But he’s your bassist. The moment everyone finds out about your messy situation with him, you will be much more than the provocative popstar who flirts. That title will change into the provocative popstar who flirts a lot with her bassists, considering that your last partner was also your past bassist.

The headlines. The gossip. The whispers. You can already imagine the names they will call you if ever you let Yoongi into your world.

“Is that so? That’s all it was to you?” Yoongi asked that calmly, sending a shiver down your spine. But he looked at you like you just slapped him across his face.

Suddenly, he felt like he could not read you anymore. Because he thought he understood everything right. He sensed that you were scared about crossing the professional boundaries you two have in the middle. Hence why you told him that night that you crossed the line you two probably should not have.

He even went so far, to assume that you feel the same thing every time you two end up staring into each other’s eyes.

But maybe he was wrong.

Maybe you are really just a good performer. Someone who can really make people feel the words you were singing through your eyes. Maybe he is just stupid to believe that the jokes, stares, and kisses meant something more than just humor and gimmicks.

So he took a step back, nodding, “Fine, maybe we don’t have anything to talk about anymore.”

There was a finality in his tone when you heard that. Surrender. You didn’t dare to say anything. Instead, you bit your lower lip to avoid it from shaking too much. Yoongi looked at you like he was still waiting for you to say something, but you avoided his gaze and looked down.

Receiving nothing from you, Yoongi took it as a sign and walked away, taking all the strength in him not to look back.

“You won’t talk to me or worse, even look at me? Like I’m just a ghost to you.”

His words repeated in your head as you lay on your bed hours after that conversation. Another tear slipped from your eyes, rolling down to your cheeks. You groaned, reaching for a pen and your favorite notebook. Writing the first words in your head,

You should take it as a compliment that I'm talkin' to everyone here but you

additional note | i was editing this then ot7 live happened!! I'm still over the moon seeing them together again after two years!! anyway, I know this one is *so angsty*. i'll try to post something lighter later haha tysm for reading <3

SERIES TAGLIST

@busanbby-jjk @jimingirl95 @treacherqus @jajabro @marnz1990 @ktownshizzle @notarshia @m00njinnie @thelilbutifulthings @tarahardcore @livisdoingfine @jungshaking @eridanus-lynx @enthralled-bandit @goodnight-n-go-home @ronyiboniyy @jimeg629 @lveegsoi @madussthoughts @jalexad @ryryvna @kiki-zb @kam9404 @rtyuy1346 @chxmachxps @enfppuff

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @misshale21 @marblemoonstones @butnotmontana @mar-lo-pap @ficluvr613 @senaqsstuff @stars4kooo

#bass guitarist! yoongi #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi au #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #bts drabble #bts aus #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #yoongi fanfic #bts suga #httpknjoon #Spotify #love is... on tour myg

233 notes · View notes

chalkscene · 3 days ago

Text

kpop demon hunters ⇢ “AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER”

alternate ending where nobody dies <3

ft. huntrix & saja boys

wc: 2.6k

notes: not proofread and 100000% self-indulgent <3

couch! couch! couch! couch!

mira and zoey chant in chorus as huntrix march to the living room of their shared apartment. for as long as they can remember, it’s been their post-tour ritual. the moment things wrap up, it’s time for couch! couch! couch!

and they definitely need this hiatus now more than they have ever had in their entire career after that battle against the saja boys and gwi-ma. it’s been nearly two weeks since that night but rumi still remembers it just as vividly.

“couch! couch. couch….. couch…” mira and zoey trail off, their voices diminishing with their mantra, when they notice rumi on their side being awfully quiet and deep in her thoughts.

“earth to rumi.��

rumi snaps out of her reverie at the sound of mira’s voice. “huh?”

“are you okay?” zoey asks.

“yeah,” rumi’s voice comes a bit out too perky before she clears her throat, her tone now more level as she tells them, “i’m fine. just tired, i guess.”

“you sure?” mira questions dubiously, though nothing short of concerned.

“yup.” a short answer with two thumbs up—it’s all rumi provides to squash mira’s doubts because the less she talks, the lower the chances she’ll mess this up.

because how does she even explain to her best friends that the saja boys weren’t sent back to the demon world after the incident like they initially thought? yeah, they’re well and now free to roam the earth shortly after they escaped from gwi-ma’s clutches.

on top of that, rumi most definitely cannot begin by confessing that she met up with jinu in secret.

to be fair, rumi herself assumed the demon boyband had been thrown back to their realm and sealed off after that duel but a few nights had passed, jinu’s furry companions appeared once more on her balcony to relay another card which looked incredibly similar to the previous ones jinu had sent her prior to all their late night rendezvous.

so as much as her mind had tried to scream some common sense into her—after all, she did see jinu’s physical form vanish in front of her very eyes—she followed her gut and accepted the invitation, her heart filled to the brim with hope that it was him waiting for her at her destination.

rumi rode on the tiger’s back en route to the supposed meeting place which turned out to be an empty alleyway. it was dark out, taking rumi a few seconds to scan her surroundings before a man’s voice broke through the quiet.

rumi froze in place—she’d recognize that voice anywhere.

the man didn’t acknowledge her first as he cooed at his pet. “you found her? good job, buddy.”

“jinu?” rumi’s voice quivered and her knees buckled at the mere sight of him, the thread holding her together since his disappearance almost snapping.

jinu didn’t close the distance between them just yet, both staying where they stood but a smile began to curl at the corners of his lips as he joshed, “i’m not gonna lie. i’m expecting a hug this time.”

through her tears, rumi couldn’t help but laugh at his request but it was also out of relief. like a weight had been lifted off her chest, whatever she’d been holding in finally finding its release and she could breathe again.

she sprinted her way to jinu who easily caught her in his arms and for a moment, they stayed that way, finding solace in each other’s embrace.

“you’re back,” rumi uttered weakly before she completely succumbed to her emotions. while she sobbed, jinu couldn’t help but rub her back soothingly but not without a few chuckles which earned him a light jab on his chest. “stop laughing at me.”

“i’m not,” jinu countered but he was laughing harder. “i just didn’t think you’d miss me so much.”

“shut up,” rumi grumbled.

jinu never let go of rumi while she cried, only speaking once more when her sniffles began to subside, “thank you for saving me from gwi-ma.”

“i wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for you,” rumi mumbled.

after gwi-ma’s defeat, jinu could no longer hear his voice ringing in his head yet everything he had done to aid the demon king in his schemes still played in his mind like a stark reminder of the lengths he’d gone to betray the woman before him. he’d given all he had left to make up for it yet he still couldn’t deem his sacrifice enough for his repentance.

jinu was mortified and ridden with guilt down to his core but having rumi in his arms, he realized it was a shame he didn’t feel burdened to carry. he’d do anything for her.

“i’d give you my soul again and again if i could,” jinu vowed. “it’s yours.”

unable to find the perfect words to say, rumi pulled away slightly, just far enough to look at his face and take in his features as if to sear his image into her brain should fate take him away from her again. her eyes traced the patterns that snake across his skin—from his neck, down to his arms and when her gaze settled on his wrist, another reminder came to mind.

“and i believe this is yours.” she reached into her pocket, fishing for the flower bracelet the old lady had gifted her. with everything else that had happened, that night felt like a distant memory now. rumi took jinu’s hand to put the bracelet on him before throwing him a lighthearted glare, “don’t lose it this time.”

jinu smiled. “i won’t.”

“so what do we do now?” rumi asked, her tone sounding more serious. “i have to tell the girls. i promised them—no more secrets.”

“then let’s do that,” jinu agreed a little too eagerly, much to rumi’s confusion. she was expecting him to be cautious, at the very least, yet he seemed… excited? “and tell them we said hi.”

whatever else rumi had planned to say instantly flew out the window. “‘we’…?”

“wow…” jinu drawled, a shit-eating grin now plastered on his face. “i know you were never a fan but acting like we never existed? you wound me, rumi.”

rumi was starting to perceive what he meant. she just needed him to say it explicitly but he only gave her a wink, blatantly amused by her confused state.

“don’t worry about it.” jinu ran a thumb over the wrinkle between her brows. “just talk to your friends.”

so here she is… about to talk to her friends.

ah, screw it.

“actually,” rumi speaks up, “i do have something to say.”

“please don’t release another single during couch time,” zoey whines.

“i won’t,” rumi says, chuckling.

zoey sighs in relief. “okay, go on.”

“so…” rumi pauses for a second to form the words in her head, “you already know about me being half-demon…”

“yeah…” mira confirms, slowly growing suspicious of her sugary tone. in that instance, rumi wishes mira wasn’t so perceptive sometimes.

“and you guys still love me…”

“of course, we do,” zoey replies.

“what did you do?” mira interrogates at the same time.

“don’t freak out,” rumi tells them slowly as she gently nudges them to take a seat. “okay. here goes….”

without saying another word, rumi goes to grab an empty bin from a corner and brings it to the middle of the room before she carefully sets it on the floor… all just to tip it over.

unsure of what they’re supposed to be seeing, mira and zoey are sat quietly, their snacks now forgotten as they watch rumi with the most dumbfounded expressions she’s ever seen on their faces.

for a few seconds, nothing is happening but before any of them can ask, a soft light begins to shape into a circle on the floor nearby, gradually growing brighter, and soon, a huge white tiger emerges from it along with its companion, a three-eyed hat-wearing bird.

rumi doesn’t explain but neither mira nor zoey can find it in themselves to ask anyway as they gape at the animals that just materialized from their floorboards. despite being accustomed to the life of a demon hunter, they wouldn’t have suspected that in a million years.

in complete contrast to the girls’ shock, the tiger doesn’t seem to pay any of them the slightest attention as it makes a beeline for the bin to put it upright repeatedly and failing every single time. it isn’t long before rumi lends a hand and the feline shifts its focus on mira and zoey.

they finally get on their feet. they don’t look terrified but they’re definitely on alert—well, mira is.

“what is that?!”

“this is derpy,” rumi calmly gestures to the tiger then she points to the bird, “and this is sussie.”

“oh my gosh! can i pet it?” zoey squeals, eyes blown to the size of saucers in wonder.

“zoey, no!” mira pulls her back. “they could be demons.” rumi’s lack of reaction ultimately confirms her suspicions. “THEY’RE DEMONS?!”

“well…” rumi momentarily considers if they are demons before deciding, “they were created with demon magic.”

“so you have demon magic?”

“not me… jinu.”

“jinu?” zoey looks puzzled. “from the saja boys?”

mira appears just as baffled. “okay, hold on. if he’s gone and those…” she gestures animatedly at derpy and sussie, “creatures only exist because of his magic, why are they still here?”

a forced grin stretches across rumi’s face which earns her a raise of an eyebrow from mira, “about that…“

“can we come out now?” a man’s voice comes from rumi’s room.

“what was that?” mira asks to no one in particular.

“pipe down,” another voice scolds, “she said she’d give us a signal.”

“that’s a different person,” zoey notes.

“rumi, what is going on?” mira questions, the natural sharpness in her gaze becoming even sharper yet not enough to cut through the thick tension in the air.

rumi slaps a hand over her face, squeezing her eyes shut as she pretends to ignore the inquisitive looks from her friends. she just wants to get this mess over with.

she finally addresses the boys in her room. “you guys can come out now.”

so the saja boys do, looking just as humanlike as the day huntrix first met them, save for their demon patterns that mirror the ones scattered all over rumi’s body. they’re not as striking as they used to be they’re still prominent.

with a gasp, mira turns to rumi accusingly. “you’ve been hiding them in your room?!”

“NO!” rumi shrieks defensively.

“then what the hell were they doing in there?!”

before rumi can get a word out, she can already hear how utterly stupid her answer is going to be, “i told them to enter through my balcony…”

“what were you thinking?!” mira hisses. “you couldn’t ask them to just meet us somewhere else instead of inviting them to where we live?!”

jinu chimes in, mostly in rumi’s defense. “we’re not here to cause any trouble. you have my word.”

mira glares at him. “i’m not talking to you.”

“if we met up with them in public, there could be a dating scandal,” rumi reasons with her.

“it wasn’t a problem when you were meeting up with him.” despite mira’s refusal to mention jinu’s name, she doesn’t sound hostile but she’s clearly light years away from enjoying this encounter.

“mira, please. i just need you to trust me on this one,” rumi pleads before she bargains, “if they betray us again, i’ll kill them myself. i promise.”

“what?” jinu squeaks.

mira’s gaze slides over to jinu as she continues to address rumi. “including him?”

“yes,” rumi answers in a heartbeat.

“rumi!” jinu protests but rumi gives him a look—just go with it.

mira smirks at him, a murderous glint flashing in her eyes but it immediately dims when she notices abby and romance making their way over.

“you know, a dating scandal could be fun,” abby cheekily suggests, “what do you think?”

“i think you should go to hell.”

“feisty,” romance comments as he gives mira a sultry once-over, “can’t wait to see a lot more of that.”

mira dramatically wretches as she retreats to her room but not before telling them, “don’t follow me.”

still, abby and romance trail after her until mystery is left alone with zoey.

“hey…” zoey says sheepishly.

“hi.” mystery’s greeting is brief but tender. zoey supposes that evil or not, he has always been the quiet one amongst the saja boys.

but she really, really hopes he’s not evil this time.

“i realized i’ve never really heard you talk before,” zoey tells him before she jokes in an attempt to break the ice, “i remember you growling and barking at the fans.”

her teasing doesn’t land as mystery sounds genuinely apologetic, “sorry.”

“no!” zoey’s voice rises in pitch as she backpedals then she clears her throat. “sorry. i mean, no. it’s fine. i was just kidding. actually, i should be the one saying sorry. i talk too much sometimes.”

when mystery doesn’t respond right away, zoey immediately assumes she’s weirded him out. she deflates at the thought of it, faking a giggle when she adds, “see?”

“i don’t mind,” mystery mumbles, his eyes cast downward as he refuses to meet zoey’s gaze. despite his hair covering half of his face, the blush across his cheeks isn’t hard to miss.

“oh.” zoey is stunned. she didn’t know what she was expecting him to say but it definitely wasn’t that. it’s the first time huntrix’s main lyricist is rendered absolutely speechless and by the looks of it, she’s a hair’s breadth from losing her sanity.

“keep it together, zo,” rumi jests which breaks her friend out of her daze.

“can we keep him?” zoey blurts out as if the saja boy in question isn’t standing right next to her.

rumi only laughs before she’s pulled away into a corner by jinu.

“hi there.”

“hi,” rumi reciprocates his coquetry before she quips, “so what part of ‘i’ll give you a signal’ did you guys not understand?”

“blame abby,” jinu retorts, “but you have to admit. that went well.”

rumi agrees. “probably the best way it could’ve gone.”

“but you were joking, right?”

“about what?”

“killing me. you’re not really gonna kill me,” jinu boldly claims but his brazenness instantly crumbles when rumi doesn’t respond, “you’re not gonna kill me, right?!”

“you look nervous,” rumi teases, “are you planning something?”

“n-no…” jinu stutters, seemingly caught red-handed. and just like that, he notices rumi’s body go rigid, her playful demeanor now gone and taking its place is a hint of a frown slowly manifesting on her visage. in a panic, he hastily admits, “it’s not what you think!”

upon seeing the look of concern on rumi’s face, jinu holds her close, not giving her a chance to inch away from him. “listen… how does a first date sound?”

it only takes rumi a second to understand what jinu means before she’s rolling her eyes but she’s elated. “i don’t know how you used to do it 400 years ago but that is not how you ask a girl out.”

“you put me on the spot!” laughing, jinu pulls her flush against his body. “you haven’t answered my question.”

rumi beams as she replies, “a first date sounds nice.”

out of the blue, zoey gasps as she exclaims, “he’s eating our food.”

rumi follows zoey’s line of sight and catches the culprit who seems unfazed by the accusation as he continues to go through their kitchen.

if there’s one thing huntrix will protect with their life other than their fans, it’s their food.

with her eyes locked on baby saja, rumi sighs. “that one is going to be a problem.”

243 notes · View notes

kings-highway · 11 months ago

Text

Ushijima's lefthandedness falls so easily into a metaphor for autism or neurodivergence that it's almost not worth explaining but I cannot help but feel that an eight year old Wakatoshi, overhearing his parents fighting about "correcting him" or "something being wrong with him" and his father making this his hill-to-die-on and literally giving up his vote in any future family matters (almost certainly leading to their eventual divorce) could only have interpreted this as an issue with his left hand, and maybe that was a pleasant and easy lie his father had encouraged, since telling him the truth (that his mother wanted to send him to some quack doctor insisting they could cure his autism, or send him away to a behaviour correction 'camp', or whatever traditional "fix" for autism they could find) was just too much for him to stomach. Ushijima probably wouldn't have questioned this narrative, repeats it back over and over and over again. He's sitting on the floor, colouring in his pictures as his father begs his mother to understand that "the things that make him different could be his greatest strength" and he just looks down at his left hand and goes "yeah, well, that is what's different about me" and never even thinks it could have been any worse than that.

#let ushijima be an unreliable narrator who didnt understand the gravity of his parents arguements #“your mother doesnt like volleyball” his father tells him to explain why she's so standoffish and frustrated with him all the time #haikyuu #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu ushijima

404 notes · View notes

buckwheeler · 5 months ago

Text

so interested in Chris and buck having some kind of conflict down the line. Like when buck stops being ‘dadsbestfriend kind-of-like-a-dad-to-me but also he’s kind of my best friend guy who’s always fun and never does wrong’ and starts being his actual step-parent. Like obvie buck would be great at that and Chris loves him and that’s why I’m like. I want to see them argue so bad. they have such an interesting relationship which becomes even more interesting if buck and Eddie are married, because buck has already been so important in his life and now it’s like. And now you’re my dad?? And you and my dad are married? Like Chris is like “ok so on the left that’s my dad, Eddie, I love him things are complicated sometimes but I love the guy. And then next to him uh. that’s fucking Buck. like I cannot even begin to really explain him and his position in my life over the years. but yeah he’s also my step dad. “ Anyway the ‘you’re not my dad!!!!’ Would hit harder and stranger with them. And when Chris is looking back at his childhood as a young adult and unpacking maybe some issues with his parents it’s gonna include buck. Do u guys see my vision here. Chris and buck are both pretty emotional reactive people and they’re so close and so they would fight too. I’d love them having the kind of relationship where they argue quite freely and easily and then pack it up and forgive each other just as fast and it’s actually healthy but it can still be tumultuous. Like basically it’s just awesome how they really have their own relationship and dynamic and history and everything with each other, outside of buck having a relationship with Eddie. Anyway

#right?#christopher diaz #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz

258 notes · View notes

lumanossity · 1 year ago

Text

mostly for the sillies, he’s done some questionable things and i built off of that

the port mafia is lead by an absolute maniac, backed by: two minor manmade gods (one (former god) is basemented until further notice), a rich guy who killed himself to prove his incorrect point, a guy who is technically their enemy and no longer in the organisation, and kouyou

#im sorry i CANNOT find the correct way to explain the thought process concisely #the best easily understandable string of words for it i could think of would probably be #‘i have (mostly) reasonably changed his personality slightly to fit this post’s spirit’#in short yeah it was for the sillies #bsd mori

94 notes · View notes

fuckyeahisawthat · 8 months ago

Text

Fully prepared for this to be a minority position but I am deeply emotionally invested in Paul and Chani not getting back together in Dune Messiah. Not just because I love angst and tragedy (I do) but because I don't think there's a way to do it without undermining the narrative and character arcs that Dune Part Two executed so well.

Paul and Chani's relationship in the Villeneuve films exists on a totally different foundation from what's in the books. It's a political love story and you simply cannot separate out the politics from the romance. Their connection starts with the politics and the love is built on top of that.

It's not just that they happen to fall in love while fighting together in an anti-colonial guerrilla war; that is why she falls in love with him. Because he is willing to take the same risks as her in fighting for her people's liberation. Not by trying to impose himself as a leader (at first) but side by side with her as comrades and equals. Let me fight beside you. That's all I'm asking. He is quite literally willing to put his body on the line for a struggle that's been with her all her life, that she cannot escape, but that he could walk away from if he chose. And in fact he proves himself to be an asset and not a liability in this struggle and they start winning. And yeah that shit's romantic as fuck!! Kudos to whoever on the writing team was like actually direct action solidarity is sexy af because they were right and they should say it! There clearly is some attraction or at least interest in Paul on Chani's part from fairly early on, but it's only after he's proven his political worth, in battle, that she allows herself to trust him on a personal level enough to begin a romantic relationship with him. (And it's only after Paul takes off the Atreides ring, the symbol of the fact that he came there to rule over her, that the narrative permits him to advance to this point.) They could have been comrades but not lovers, but never the other way around, because there's no other version of Paul that this Chani would have fallen in love with.

It's important that they meet in circumstances where Paul has no structural power over her. Chani never would have trusted the Paul who stood in the colonial palace and pledged to "honor" Stilgar by offering him hospitality on his own fucking planet. Because she would have known, just as Stilgar did, that such an offer of fellowship, no matter how genuine and well-intentioned, is not made on equal terms. It's only once Paul has been forcibly separated from his colonial privilege that they have even a chance to approach each other as human beings. (And, in a sort of dark irony, that violence becomes a bridge that connects them. That Paul is driven not by abstract power games among the Great Houses but by real grief and anger over the violent death of people he loves at the hands of the Harkonnens must surely be something Chani understands. And it builds a level of trust and empathy between them, that she doesn't have to explain the stakes of what they're fighting for. He knows it in his bones.)

It's not a coincidence that all their explicitly romantic moments are shot through with politics. Their first kiss is wrapped up in a conversation about what it means to be Fremen and I would very much like to be equal to you. (Yes, he's flirting his ass off with that line, but I do think he is sincere.) Their single post-coital scene has I'm no messiah, I'm a fedaykin of Sietch Tabr--not just a commitment to her people and her home but to her specific form of political struggle in which he is joining her. Throughout their whole relationship, the personal and the political are so interwoven as to be indistinguishable from one another.

This kind of commingling of emotional commitment to a person with political commitment to a culture/people/cause could have very easily slid into something tokenizing or fetishistic, but the writing manages to avoid that by sticking very strongly to a couple of guardrails. One, Chani is not some passive prize to be won, but an active agent of her own liberation, whether Paul is in the picture or not. She is the Fremen liberation struggle within the political allegory of the film; she is its voice and embodiment from the moment we meet her. On a character level, she is doing her thing and it's up to Paul to either follow or get out of the way. Even though we know he is afraid of her dying, he never once suggests she leave the front lines of armed struggle (can you imagine?) because that struggle is such a fundamental part of who she is and what he loves about her.

Two--and this one is important for what comes next--the narrative never trivializes the political side of their relationship in favor of the romantic. The second Paul reaches for any kind of power over the Fremen, over Chani, the trust between them is broken and the romance cannot continue. She might still love him as a person--you don't just turn that off--but she cannot be in love with him as the Lisan al-Gaib, fulfillment of a false prophecy she hates; as the Duke of Arrakis, her colonial overlord; or as the Emperor of the Known Universe, overlord of her overlord. As soon as he pulls that shit he is just another colonizer and she's done with him.

And like, kudos to the narrative for being absolutely uncompromising on that point! That's what makes both the political allegory and the personal tragedy hit so hard! Paul, bro, you fucked that one up good and now you are Experiencing a Consequence! I LOVE that in the end, love isn't enough. All the love in the world isn't enough to keep Chani from walking out at the end of the film, because the foundation that love is built on is broken and cannot be repaired.

(I do believe that by the time he is declaring himself Emperor, Paul thinks he has no choice, that this is the only way to save the people he loves from any number of worse fates. But that, too, is a betrayal, of a kind I don't think Paul fully understands. Because either you think the Fremen are capable of governing their own planet or you don't. Deciding unilaterally that having a "friendly" imperialist in power is the best you can hope for is a profound denial of the agency of the people Paul claims to be doing this in the name of. It's either paternalism or despair, and neither are acceptable modes of thinking for a serious revolutionary. Chani would tell you as much.)

The thing with making a bold writing choice like that is that...you cannot then walk it back in the next film with Chani choosing to forgive Paul or coming around to seeing the world his way and understanding that yes it's politically unsavory and he's manipulating the people he said he was in solidarity with but this was the only way! If you do that then the whole framework of what the first two films are trying to say about power and imperialism and resistance and solidarity collapses into incoherence. On a thematic level Dune Messiah is all about the consequences of Paul taking power the way he did and these are the consequences.

And on a character level...I just don't see any way to come back from such a deep betrayal. Even if some part of Chani still loves him. Even if she's pregnant with his child(ren). (We have like, zero information about how movie Chani feels about family and pregnancy and childrearing that would indicate that she would care one bit about her children's biological father being involved in their lives when he is otherwise busy being a space dictator.)

There are several categories of scenarios I can think of to get Paul and Chani interacting again (she goes back to him as a spy/assassin; she's brought back to the palace under some sort of duress, "for her safety" or even as a political prisoner) but none of them involve them being genuinely together as a couple. I could also see them not interacting at all for most of Dune Messiah. What I cannot see is any scenario in which she genuinely forgives him or ever fucking trusts him again. That shit is over and there's no getting it back.

#dune #dune part two #dune messiah #dune messiah speculation #paul atreides #chani kynes #paul x chani #paulchani #managed to tease out a lot of ship thoughts i have been having in one form or another in this post #let some character choices be irrevocable #it's narratively satisfying even when it's sad

201 notes · View notes

natsuslover · 2 months ago

Text

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆࣪ ִֶָ☾. eren bf headcanons

notes— i was rereading the 7 mins frat boy eren fanfic so YK i had to write some headcanons for my fav (i miss him like a mf every single day oh my shaylaaa). also the way ive never written for aot before is insane bc i love it sm

ft. eren yeager (jaeger?)

warnings: mild cursing idk, just wholesome fluff very sfw

first of all bro thinks he’s all nonchalant and mysterious or wtv but he’s such a softie (for u teehee)

like he’ll act like he doesn’t gaf but absolutely has ur coffee order memorized after one date

yk “just in case”

the kind of guy to be like “whatever” and then have a whole spotify playlist for u

doesn’t say “i love you” but def says shit like “don’t do anything dumb while i’m not here” and expects u to decipher it

and then gets pissed off when u don’t like tf

love language is PHYSICAL TOUCHHH

cannot stress this enough hb LOVES being physically close to u

bc he’s obv not that great at expressing his affection through words (emotionally immature dumbass)

constant back of the neck kisses when ur talking to other ppl

or hugs from behind

like “yeah this one’s mine”

always always casually has his hand somewhere on u

on ur thigh when ur sitting or ur lower back when ur walking through a crowd

also he sleeps like a cat on top of u omfg

like cuddling into the crook of ur neck and everything

and he refuses to get off bro does not care if u can’t breathe lmao

but if u somehow manage to detach him from ur body he makes sure his leg is touching urs at least

literally can’t fall asleep otherwise

he pretends he doesn’t get jealous but he’s actually just in denial

“i’m not jealous, i just think that dudes a clown”

def reposts and says random cryptic shit on instagram stories w a black screen

like “loyalty isn’t hard if u actually care”

thinks he eats it up every time too like he’s 100% thinking “oh yeah my girl gonna love this one” 💀

will pick u up from class with zero notice if he senses even a whisper of competition

can’t text for shit bc man just ISN’T the greatest communicator yk

u either get no reply for 17 hours and then a whole ass essay about his day

or a little “wya” at 2 am with no context and no punctuation (maybe a red heart too if he’s feeling cute)

screenshots every single meme he gets that he thinks u would like but doesn’t send them until like 2 weeks later when he’s feeling soft

like the way he’s normal one week and then a complete utter soft lover boy the next you’d think he’s ovulating

weirdly sentimental but pretends he’s just a chill guy

keeps ur hair tie on his wrist like it’s a war trophy

in fact he might have multiple just in case u ever need one

his lockscreen is fs gonna be some shitty ass picture of u that he refuses to change

like prob some blurry pic of u flipping him off or sum and he thinks it’s adorable

found an old hoodie of yours once and wore it for a week straight bc it smelled like u

and he pretended he didn’t notice

he’s SUCH a hothead it’s insane

will without a doubt square up for u in a parking lot if someone makes u even the slightest bit uncomfy

terrible at arguments bc he ends up getting flustered every time and says dumb shit like “well maybe i do care ok stfu!”

but softens immediately if u cry bc he doesn’t know how to handle it and feels guilty asf

“okok im sorry come here don’t cry ur gonna make me panic”

a fantastic hugger tho

he’s ur ride or die period

literally will go to the ends of the earth for u and u don’t even have to ask

would fight a god for u no hesitation

will eradicate 80% of humanity for u even

doesn’t trust easily but once ur in ur his person for life

says stuff like “ur all i’ve got so please don’t leave” when he’s feeling especially vulnerable

mostly during those deep 3 am talks or post breakdown cuddles

he loves u fully

struggles expressing it in words but the actions explain themselves

once ur his ur really HIS bros never leaving u alone

#anime #manga #attack on titan #aot #eren yeager #eren x reader #eren headcanons #7 minutes in heaven #shingeki no kyojin #eren aot #eren jaeger

93 notes · View notes

incorrectfatui · 8 months ago

Text

Some random headcanons because I'm bored and I should really post more often.

Pierro: genuinely does not like the vast majority of the other Harbingers. He tries his best to get along with them but dear god half of them cannot shut the fuck up to save their life

Capitano: Likes hot cocoa and puts like a weird amount of effort into making them. Like you know those extremely long tiktok recepies for (Insert country name)-hot cocoa that take hours but taste the same as regular hot cocoa? Yeah, Capitano has made all of them at some point and he swears theres a difference

Dottore: addicted to sugar. Addicted to a lot of things, actually. Younger segments get sugar rush. Youngest segment is an ipad-kid. Gets distracted extremely easily. I have too many headcanons about this guy.

Columbina: can sleep ANYWHERE. Girl goes skydiving and sleeps in the sky. Rollercoaster? You mean a moving bed?

Arlecchino: bad at math no i wont explain myself. Tried making candy herself once and it went horribly wrong.

Clervie: scared of clowns. terrified even.

Crucabena: Likes playing rhythm games. Her children are reenacting the hungergames and she's in the background just playing pjsk or osu or smth. Also collects Pokemon cards, loves them more than her children. Very good at masking, but has autism (like every other harbinger). Nr. 1 enabler for the other Harbingers, but especially Dottore. Used to bite people as a child. Was, in general, the most feral child you can imagine. Dottore calls her Crucy and she despises it.

Pulcinella: hates hot temperatures. Cannot stand anything above 15° Celsius

Scaramouche: sometimes forgets that time is in fact passing. It's a result of his time in the Abyss, but also connected to his immortality. Speaking of which, he has no idea how old he actually is, he just knows he was created after the cataclysm.

Sandrone: goes nonverbal when overwhelmed. Also has a one-sided rivalry going with Dottore.

Signora: i have so many german-aunt headcanons about her - positives of having characters inspired by your culture i guess. Lots of my headcankns abt her are inspired by my own aunts lol. Can do tricks with a bottle of wine. Used to have a lil space where she raised chicken and other animals back in Mondstadt, but didn't keep them after Rostams death

Pantalone: weird relationship with dottore also translates into weird relationship with Scaramouche. Both of them have seen each other in..lets say compromising positions. They have a pact to never ever speak of it. Also very jealous of Scaramouche and Crucabena (despite the latter being dead) due to their relationships with Dottore. Extremely posessive.

Childe: has once thrown a snowball at Pierro. Was very lucky that no one figured out it was him. Somewhat scared of Dottore. No one ever told him which Harbinger joined when, so he doesnt know how old anyone is (minus Arlecchino)

216 notes · View notes

cowboydeers · 7 months ago

Text

(just a long ramble about my thoughts/theories on Shadow Dragon Rook with a few dialogue spoilers from Shadow Dragon specific responses)

I love how Shadow Dragon Rook just casually strolls through Minrathous like they aren’t wanted for multiple offenses (theft, murder, and destruction of property among them—which means they’re wanted for even more offenses than those three named by the First Warden). Like, there is no way that not a single person has made a connection between Rook and [First Name] Mercar, the child of a military family.

Rook who watched Maevaris Tilani argue against slavery in the Magisterium at some point and easily named someone else that sells overpriced charms when talking to Elek for the first time. Rook “I know people in Minrathous who would help with that. Just say the word.” when Emmerich talked about getting the Venatori’s (former) slave to somewhere safe and finding out if he has any family in the first mission where you meet Emmerich. Rook who, if you choose the shadow dragon specific dialogue, automatically recognizes both Maevaris and Dorian.

Rook knows Minrathous, has connections in Minrathous that most likely extend past the shadow dragons due to their family being military. They were in the goddamn Magisterium at some point in order to witness Maevaris argue against slavery.

The Magisterium is literally the upper house of the Tevinter Imperial Senate. Rook was literally inside the Magisterium to watch Maevaris argue against slavery and probably witness other Magisters argue over other issues.

This just adds to my theory of Legion Charon Mercar (mentioned in “The Soporati” codex entry where it’s a letter from Maevaris to Dorian) being Rook’s adoptive father.

I suggest you call upon Legatus Charon Mercar when you next visit Ventus. I hear Mercar has privately expressed support for reform, but more importantly, he has the favor of the current Imperator.

Where the Imperator goes, Tevinter's military follows.

A Legatus, in the Roman army, was a high-ranking military officer, meaning this Charon Mercar is not only a high-ranking military officer but he also has the favor of the Imperator (meaning “commander” in Latin—what we would call a commander in-chief or a general today in modern times) of Tevinter’s military. It’s implied he has enough of a sway to convince what seems like the head of the goddamn Tevinter military on what to do, the Imperator seemingly valuing his opinion.

And honestly?

This theory makes SO much sense to me.

It would explain why Rook runs around Minrathous without getting arrested, why not a single soul pretends to recognize Rook.

Like, yeah, Rook can mention in a conversation with Tarquin (according to their race) that they were kept home a lot as a child if it’s obvious that they weren’t related to their family but you cannot tell me that not a single soul did not recognize Rook with how familiar they are with the city.

It would absolutely make sense for Rook to be the child of Legatus Mercar because why else would anyone turn the other way when it comes to Rook being wanted for multiple offenses? Why else would no one go to arrest Rook, even in Dock Town?

Because, after all, who wants to tell the man who has favor enough with the goddamn Imperator of the Tevinter military to potentially sway him and the military alongside him that they arrested his child.

#gods this was a long ramble of theories #i feel like neve with her clues board right now #but i had to say it #and write it all out #datv #datv spoilers #veilguard spoilers #technically spoilers i guess???#rook #rook mercar #shadow dragon rook

180 notes · View notes

factual-fantasy · 10 days ago

Text

28 Asks! Thank you! :)) 🪆

@thelatter0verview5

I got a few petty reasons, but a very justified reason is because he is extremely disrespectful and treats everyone around him like garbage. Goose herself said that Jax is a bad person and the Jax simps need to reel back on the excuses they make for his behavior.

"But he's just pushing people away to cope" "But he's just mean because he lost a friend." "But that's just his way of showing love"

Yeah those may explain his behavior but they do not justify it. No matter the reason, Jax is responsible for how he treats other people, and he treats them all like trash. Jax should be held accountable for that.

Now just because I hate him, doesn't mean I have to take Ribbit away in my AU. I hate Jax as a character, as he was designed to be up to this point. But I wouldn't wish the death of a friend on anyone. So honestly for my own sake, not having to write something so sad, I added Ribbit to my AU.

Honestly I like Ragatha a LOT more after episode 5. She's actually becoming one of my favorites.

For starters, I could so easily put myself in her shoes when she mentioned Ribbit. Jax has been a PHAT JERK for a VERY LONG TIME. He has been grinding her gears FOREVER. Because of this she lets a nasty comment slip. "Not anymore.." but after that she IMMEDIATELY back peddles, realizing that what she said was very out of line. I can see myself being bitter and sipping up just like she did.

Right after she frantically yet genuinely apologizes and then flees to give Jax space from her.

Later on, when Jax has been a jerk AGAIN and pushes her buttons with a stupid "what no apology for me?~~💅💅💅"? I would not have had the strength to be kind to Jax. I would have told him to screw off and turned away most likely. But Ragatha had a bigger heart than that.

Despite how rightfully TICKED OFF she is with Jax's horrible behavior, she swallows her pride and apologies again for bringing up Ribbit. And again, walks away to give each other space.

I think Ragatha was awesome and showed how big her heart is in this episode. When she has these outbursts due to stress or other she immediately takes accountability for what she said and genuinely apologizes. That is a millions times more than Jax can say.

@local-dairywizard

The Caine in my AU is very different from canon. So much so he's hardly Caine anymore, but I'm ok with that.

My Caine has 2 goals, of which he was not programmed to do, but has made for himself none the less. #2 is to keep the humans as mentally healthy and calm as he possibly can. And 1# being the most important, get the humans out of here ASAP and back into the real world.

So while Caine in canon was freaking out about the humans liking the suggestion box adventures more than his own, my Caine would be THRILLED! He's be so relieved that the humans have some time of peace where they're getting along and socializing. In fact he would probably toss in a few little distracting activities like more food options, some more pretty bugs and a few more pretty colors in the sky.. before leaving the humans there in peace while he works extra hard on finding an exit for a bit.

In my AU, Caine cannot control or alter the minds of the humans in any way. And he is very transparent and honestly about his inability to do so. Which ngl the circus members kind'a wish he could-

If Caine could alter the minds of the humans, he could shut down their panic attacks, remove their deep depressions or paranoid delusions, and even cure abstraction. But alas, he cannot..

(Referencing this post)

Thank you so much!! :DDDD💞💞💞

Honestly, the only ramen I really remember the taste of is chicken. And its been a VERY long time since I've had that.. so its hard to say what they'd like <XD

But Cici and Gerald aren't picky, they'd probably try any ramen! Maybe they'd even favor a spicy kind! :00

I think that would be pretty fitting! :0 I wouldn't be surprised to see a teddy bear character on one of the crossed out bedroom doors..

(Referencing this post)

XDD I'm glad you like it! :))

That's gotta be on the list of the most wholesome and warm compliments I have ever received.. thnk yu... 🥺💞

@neo-metalscottic (Referencing this post)

Thank you so much! :DD And don't worry about the Shockwave post, <XD in hindsight I should have just waited a day or two before answering.

As for the Dinobots, I don't think I can promise anything 😅 I mean, you said they were normal Cybertronians that were experimented on and mutated to look like dinosaurs, right? Well in my AU it obviously wouldn't make any sense for Shockwave to have modeled them after Earth creatures- if he even could make them perfect like that.

Instead, they just probably became these horrible masses of mutated metal and grime. Their legs and spines were elongated, forcing them to arch and crouch their legs. Kind'a looking like a dino but not really being one- Idk how I can make that NOT horrific 😓😓

And tbh, I'm back and forth on Shockwaves arm. If he was primarily a scientist, wouldn't be illogical to replace one of his arms with a blaster? It would make more sense to replace his arm with another working hand, and maybe give himself some kind of body mounted gun for protection. Like Megatrons arm blaster or Breakdowns shoulder cannon.

That's probably what I'll do. But his other arm could look different or odd. Maybe it was taken from someone else's body and so the paint and finger shapes are different. But ultimately its just a normal hand.

Also, Shockwave using Arachnids mind as a blueprint for the Insecticons is really clever! It would make a lot of sense that they would worship her. I'll have to think about that! :00

And lastly, thank you for the well wishes! My symptoms have been pretty bad today, so after these two posts are up my day will come to an end and I will go crash <XDD

I honestly didn't care for any of them, but I liked evil Orbsman. His voice made me laugh for some reason XD

SCREAMSSS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! 😭😭🥰💞🥰💞💞💞

@palettepainter

Thank you so much!! :D Though unfortunately- since Ribbits ref was released, some changes are in the works-- <XD

I'm thinking Ribbit will actually be a 17 year old girl. I'm considering making her a mischievous "little" sister to Jax and they (lovingly) prank the crap out of each other all the time XDD

Anything beyond that, like if they knew each other before the circus or anything- has yet to be decided 😅

I got through all of Markipliers videos on it thus far, which as of typing this he has 8 parts up.

And yeah, at first I liked it. But by that first ending I completely rejected that entire game from the FNAF lore. It implies and changes WAY too much. Especially when it comes to Henry, William, the history of Fazbear entertainment, the springlock suits, the original 4 bots- its just a huge mess. As far as I'm concerned, for my AUs at the very least, that game is not canon. at all.

HOWEVER, I did take a liking to the animatronics/costumes. Much more than I thought I would. In fact I have some drawing plans for them! :DD

@briandraws (Referencing this post)

JSNDKJSN SORRY XDDD (I'm glad you liked it! :DD )

Also thanks again!! :DD But don't get too attached to it, after seeing Ribbits official ref sheet that seems to imply she's girl, I will be making some changes to her design.. whoops! 😅😅

@cherrycreamfairy

AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD That's the part of the drawing I try my hardest to get right! 🥰🥰

I believe I've watched the.... 2....? movies about it. But it was a very long time ago so I don't really remember much 💔

@dragonsgirl572 (Referencing this post)

AWE!! Thank you so much!! :DD

And thank you for the well wishes. My symptoms have tough and our more recent cure attempt came back with no results. Hoping I get better soon too <:') 🙏

@beryl-shade

The design of the Tiger had me HOOKED! He looks so drawable! If its a movie and not a show I'll have to give it a watch!! :DD

@misscherrypie

I've seen it floating around and people saying its surprisingly good. I might have to look into it! :0

@minnesotamedic186

Honestly this season has been very gloomy, and it hit too close to home one too many times. I'm anxious for it to be over.💔🕊️

You can look at my tier list here :0 my rankings haven't really changed after episode 5. Other than moving Ragatha and Pomni up a tier and moving Caine and Bubble down a tier. Also adding Evil Orbsman to s-Tier XDD His voice was really funny. "whAt tHe f R I c K???"

@pewpewae

SCREEAMING AND CRYING WAAAAJHG THS IS SO SWEET THANK YOUU!!! PUTTING THIS ASK IN THE TINY SHIRT POCKET IN MY HEART😭😭😭💞💞💞💞

@candyglumboy (Referencing this post)

I can imagine they love pranking and screwing each other over in adventures. Its all light hearted and nothing too painful though dw- XD

(Referencing this post)

XDD Indeed!!

Awe, thank you! I can confidently say I don't do that because I've actually tried it before with Bowser <XD

I don't hate Bowser- but after the Mario movie made an absolute fool of him, I wanted to make him a vicious, irredeemable villain in my AU. Just an absolute monster, I WANTED people to fear and hate him. But in the end he felt bland.. it almost felt like I made a fool of him too but just on the opposite end of the spectrum.

I have since then learned my lesson and now try to take characters I don't like and give them some grace. I hope I was able to do that with TADC and TFP! <XDD

@virtualworldfp5

Very cool! :D

❣️🌟

☺️🫴

#my response #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus episode 5 #factual fam #transformers prime #fnaf secret of the mimic #fnaf secret of the mimic spoilers

68 notes · View notes

homelanderbutbig · 1 month ago

Text

Nowhere Else You'd Rather Be (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1650 words. Pure fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Established relationship.

You have some struggles, and Homelander wants to help. Inspired by this ask.

Your relationship with Homelander is based on mutual love and trust. Unlike the rest of the mudpeople he's surrounded by every day, he's shown you a level of faith far above the rest. He divulges details of his traumatic past knowing you care for him, and he tells you about his problems knowing you aren't just another 'yes-man' and will actually listen to him. Neither of you feel the need to hide your true selves, because you appreciate that you'll never be judged.

But the one thing you've kept hidden from him is your pain.

For quite a few years even before you moved to New York to work for Vought, you've struggled with chronic pain. It inhibits your abilities to function day-to-day, especially during a bad flareup. Regardless, you never let your limitations affect your work, and you always keep your pain under wraps from others who may berate you for your problems… including Homelander. He's never been shy to make snide comments on how humans suffer so easily, how effortlessly they break and how they have no concept of 'true pain'. You were never sure how he'd react to learning about your issues, so you never told him.

That is, until today.

You've been dealing with increased pressure from both Homelander and the Hero Management Department over some new branding deal, and being his personal assistant means the bulk of the paperwork has landed on your shoulders. With this escalating stress you're having a particularly bad pain day. Your muscles are stiff to a painful degree, making it hard to do your regular tasks and walk back-and-forth through the hundreds of hallways in the Tower. There's nothing more that you want than to just be away from this godforsaken place.

Trying to navigate your workload though this pain has left you a bit more withdrawn that usual, your aching body is screaming for a break that you cannot receive. You're hoping that just focusing all your attention on your work will distract you from your increasing discomfort, so the day can go by faster. What you didn't expect is a certain man in blue catching on to your change in personality.

"What's up with you today?" Homelander's voice echoes behind you as you're trudging silently down the hallway. You jump at the unexpected line of questioning; you didn't realize he had been tailing you, using his uncanny ability to sneak up on people despite being an 8 foot tall, 600 pound killing machine.

"It's nothing…" you brush him off, eyes on the ground while you straighten the papers you're holding close to your chest. You try to keep walking, but he quickly maneuvers himself in front of you, blocking any chance of ending this conversation.

"Don't lie to me," he states bluntly, though not coming from a place of malice. He may appear stern, but you can discern the worry in his eyes. He sees how you've been struggling today; he's perceived that something is wrong and he hates knowing you're keeping a secret from him.

"I just… I have chronic pain. I usually have it under better control, but today's a bad day," you concede, staring up at him. You can feel your chest tightening having finally admitted this to him, your mind frantically spinning through all the different ways he could take this revelation.

"Chronic pain?" he asks, raising an eyebrow though his expression remains unreadable. "You never told me about this before."

"Yeah. I have a condition, it makes my muscles react really bad to stress. I just get all tense and everything hurts," you explain, breathing deep in an attempt to remain composed. "I… I-I didn't think you'd be interested in hearing about my difficulties, when you have so much more than I ever could on your plate. And I'm used to dealing with this by myself already…"

"Hmmm… I see," he says, looking down at you in contemplative thought before silently turning around and walking away, leaving you alone.

You expected that to be the end of this discussion. The next hour you don't see him at all. Now he knows you're not as special as he thought, you're just like everyone else. Imperfect.

However, for some reason, during the rest of the day he stays closely by your side and seems to be going out of his way to help you.

If there's something too high that you can't reach, he's there to grab it without difficulty and bring it down for you. If you drop a book or binder on the ground, he's there to pick it up so you don't have to bend down. If some other Vought employee is breathing down your neck, he's looming over them to give you some space.

And then, as the work day at last comes to a close, you're locking up your office for the night to begin your trek home, happy to go back for a warm bath and to wrap yourself up in heating pads. But you don't make it very far, as you're abruptly swept off your feet and into the air by a pair of oversized hands.

"Allow me," he chuckles, holding you up close to his chest.

"Hey!! Th-this isn't necessary Homelander," you protest. "You don't have to carry me, I can still walk!"

"Nonsense, you rest those pretty little legs of yours and let your favourite supe do the walking," he grins, winking at you. No matter how hard to try to fight his grasp, you're powerless against his unrelenting strength.

With you snug in between his massive arms, he starts strolling down the halls to the elevator. His body heat emanating all around you combined with the softness of his padded suit is admittedly, for the first time today, calming your frenzied mind. Yet there's also something about the way he's not even paying any attention to the people below him, forcing them to get out of his way lest they be crushed under his feet. Usually when he carries you, the both of you are alone and out of the public. From this vantage point you can't help but understand how easily one could see the rest of society as nothing more than ants, but you try and push those unsettling thoughts down for the mean time.

After the quiet elevator ride up to the penthouse, Homelander takes you over to the couch in his living room. He sits down with you on his lap, where you notice he suspiciously left a normal-sized blanket on one of the cushions. Carefully, he picks the blanket up and cocoons you inside like a burrito; with how velvety and luxurious it feels on your skin you wonder how much he spent on it, just for you.

"Wow, look at all the knots you got here! No wonder you're hurting," he declares, removing his gloves before slowly massaging your neck and back. "Let me take care of you."

"You don't have to do this…" you mumble softly, sensing his big hands overtaking your body. The span of just one of his hands is nearly the same length across as your shoulders, not to mention that he only needs three fingers to cover the same width as your neck. He usually doesn't touch you in this way, and you won't lie to yourself that it's a little intimidating actually feeling the size difference.

"I want to," he counters confidently. "You know, I've been researching what you can to do alleviate your symptoms. You're always going out of your bubble, straining yourself. And it's easy enough to relax those muscles if you know how." He moves his long fingers along your shoulders, delicately pressing down and pinpointing your problems faster than any mere physician. "I can feel where your muscle fibres are contracting, there's a little hard trigger point buried in the centre. You just gotta apply pressure right on it, and…. there we go!"

He's rambling on but you're barely even hearing what he's saying. He is systematically going through all your sore spots, releasing your muscles of their painful tension, warming your body as the blood flow returns to those areas. He could just as easily envelop your head with one hand and crack it like an egg, and yet he's using a fraction of that insurmountable strength to simply make you feel better. It's such a small act from a mountain of a man, and it never fails to amaze you how much control he has over his powers.

"You're… you're really good at this… thank you," you praise him as you lean back into his hands, sighing at how good you feel. The fact that he was even willing to learn about your issues and that he genuinely wants to help has left you speechless. You've never had anyone in your life who cared this much about your wellbeing.

His hands freeze at your words, fingers twitching slightly. After a moment of silence, he slowly leans forward to drape his head over you, kissing your temple.

"You already do everything to help me. Now it's my turn," he reassures you, his deep voice resonating through your core as he nuzzles his cheek on your face. "You deserve to be as revered as me."

He continues with your massage as you gradually begin to feel yourself nod off against his expansive form. It's been a long day, exacerbated by your pain and you're succumbing to your exhaustion. Nestled cozily in your blanket, you're being pampered by the love of your life whom surrounds you both figuratively and literally. You smile as you realize just like how he trusts you implicitly with his struggles, you never had to worry about doing the same. He will always be there for you, protecting you, giving you the world he's always wanted to share.

There is truly nowhere else you'd rather be.

#the boys #the boys tv #homelander #homelander x reader #g/t #size difference #my writing

66 notes · View notes

cultkinkcoven · 3 months ago

Text

really can’t stand people who refuse to even try with neopronouns or understand therians because to my autistic brain it is so fucking simple and I feel like it’s actually everyone else that are over complicating shit.

We came up with a couple terms to describe a couple ideas of self. He, she, they. I don’t use neos, but I do use he and they. I use he because I am masculine aligned and I use they because I am also nonbinary and not entirely masc. I don’t have any feelings towards myself that do not feel human.

But some of our gendered pronouns aren’t even enough, and on the realest note, my gender is probably somewhere between boy slut and freak, but I usually just keep that to myself. If someone feels like these words aren’t specific enough to them, fuck yeah make another one. Are you kidding me? You explored your own identity enough to have come up with a special custom term that perfectly describes you? That’s so fucking cool dude.

If a neurodivergent person with CPTSD feels extremely inhuman because of their psychology/ trauma or real world experiences with discrimination, (wow you mean the person everyone treats differently doesn’t feel very human?! that’s crazy!) but they do however have a very easy time relating and communicating with cats through their nonverbal social cues, if they feel comfortable and expressive wearing a tail and ears, and think of themselves as “cat”, okay??? cool? Cat is a homie, tf. Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with cat, cat seems to know how to have fun.

If a neurodivergent person with DID has multiple altars that are littles, and because of some experience, they experience their little as an animal, a puppy, or baby bird, …. okay??? cool??? I’m not really in any kind of position to tell chick that chick can’t fucking exist, and honestly it’s really none of my business how a system manages their littles. “oh they’re probably mentally ill” okay??? And perhaps they are? They’re still living are they not? They still exist, yes? So am I going to go out of my way to make their existence more difficult? I don’t really see the point!!!

If a neurodivergent person with antisocial personality disorder has never felt connected to humanity whatsoever and simply does not want to be referred to by human terms, it’s really not my place to debate about it.

It doesn’t even have to be that serious. You’ve always identified strongly with fairies? Be a fucking fairy dude. No one can stop you. You feel like you’re an elf? Okay! No one can control you, you are whatever the fuck you are regardless of how anyone feels. You can reinvent yourself tomorrow. Why tf not.

Is it really that hard to dynamically adapt language? Like, when people tell me they don’t know how they could possibly use xi xim or xe xer (pronounced with a Z) in a sentence, it tells me that they literally have a lower capacity for learning language. Like they’re not smart enough to apply pronoun grammatical rules to new words, they can’t even fathom the concept of a new word because they somehow believe that words aren’t made up by people but just pop magically into existence. You don’t have to get neopronouns but if you’re telling me you seriously cannot figure it out, I’m genuinely going to think you’re slightly dumb (unless you’re dyslexic, you get a pass I know it’s rough out here for y’all lmao)

It’s not that I think every case of neopronouns is easily explainable and super simple, because it doesn’t even have to be.

It’s more so that, with 7 billion fucking humans on this planet, it’s really not a surprise to me that some of them express their identity through non human terms. As someone with autism I can understand that, even if I don’t feel the exact same. There is always going to be some weird person who goes by knife/knives or bun/bunny. Im kind of just happy they’ve found something they can feel comfortable within. I genuinely cannot bring myself to care enough to argue with someone about it.

The whole “so I can identify as an attack helicopter?” thing is so stupid because if you were being genuine you could identify as a damn fighter jet. But y’all ain’t ready for that conversation because everyone who is passionate is too cringe for y’all to handle.

#rant #neopronouns #transgender #trans community #lgbtqia #neurodivergent #autism

142 notes · View notes

crim-bat · 5 months ago

Text

Star Wars Rant: The Jedi Dogma Lie You Fell For

The older I get and the more of a movie centric perspective I take in star wars (books and comics and games are good, but they either tell stories that aren't relevant or fill in the gaps), the more I've come to believe that the writers lacked the media literacy as much as the fans in regards to how dogmatic the jedi actually were

Palpatine said the order had a narrow and dogmatic view of the force once and the fanbase and writers immediately went "YEAH HE WAS RIGHT" without understanding what was going on and 20 years of telephone later it's become accepted as fact so much that it's permanently poisoned the well.

In the prequel trilogy list of things "explaining" jedi dogma, we have...

The jedi did not want to train Anakin as he was a ball of Trauma. This is fair when your magic system runs on being able to not need let your emotions control you. Anakin needed help, not jedi training.

The jedi not believing Qui Gon when he said there was a sith afoot. The sith have been gone for a thousand years, or so they think. That, enough, is reason to not be sure about it. In the EU/Legends, Dark Jedi cropped up every couple of years so it could have easily been one of those instead. One of them was Qui's former student. AND the jedi didn't just say "that's not a problem, ignore it". They very pointedly say to go investigate the problem. And Qui is good enough at his job that they kept him on the case

The jedi don't allow marriage. It's a monastic order and they are free to leave. There is literally no penalty for just bouncing as long as you don't burn the bridges yourself

In AOTC, we see Obi Wan being especially down on Anakin the whole movie and the other jedi in the scenes, Mace and Yoda, express concern and try to defend Anakin from his own master. Genuinely, Obi Wan is the bigger problem here than any other jedi. He's my favorite, but he's an asshole in AOTC

On Dooku, Mace doesn't think Dooku would do assassination because that is, at that time, super out of how the jedi operate. Dooku was a jedi so it should not have been in his character.

In Revenge of the Sith, Anakin goes to Yoda for advise about Padme but is vague as fuck so he gets vague jedi advise about detaching yourself from the situation and being happy they're going to jedi heaven. He Cannot Give Better Advise because Anakin is being Anakin.

Same movie, Mace says he doesn't trust Anakin with spying on Palpatine because he doesn't think he can handle it. And Anakin is only treated like a shitheal in the film when he acts like one. Yes, there's the undercurrent of him trying to save Padme but the movie doesn't at all explain that he's trying to get into the archives. No one can help him because he's not letting them.

Same movie, Palpatine points out the Dogmatic and Narrow view of the jedi according to the force.

There is really no part of the prequels that doesn't make sense and doesn't exonerate the "dogma" of the jedi in some way unless you're looking at what writers did after the fact.

Do the jedi have issues within the films?

Yes

Are they too beholden to the state?

Probably

But those are different issues and the official writers and the fans have both permanently poisoned the well because they took the big bad of 9 films at face value without criticism

#pro jedi #star wars #prequel trilogy #star wars eu #expanded universe #legends #star wars legends #star wars canon #mace windu #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #star wars the clone wars #yoda #palpatine #darth sidi #darth vader #sith #star wars rant #star wars meta

137 notes · View notes

chocochipsushi · 1 year ago

Text

𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐠

SFW

🌸Word count: 6.4k words

🌸AU: your soulmate is a huge, grumpy fart who shows you and only you affection, and though he hates his best friends, you think you've found soulmates in them too

🌸Pairing: Toji x reader, SatoSugu

<< Prequel | Part 2 >>

You always catch guys staring until Toji walks up to you with a hand on the small of your back. Then, the guys start to panic internally, looking away to avoid trouble with such a huge man. But their gazes will always return to watch the both of you. Everyone is always intrigued by your relationship.

You’re the tiniest little thing next to Toji, just standing nestled at his side, your hand resting on his beefy arm, his rugged body pressed up against yours. You’re not even that small to begin with. But his body is so big, chiseled and intimidating, that you‘re like a doll next to him. He looks so much like a guard dog whenever you’re together, because of how he towers and hovers over you.

“Can you help me get that, Toji?”

He looks up to what you’re pointing at and immediately lets go of you to step closer to the shelf. “This one?”

He easily reaches for the pair of scissors that is barely even touchable for you. He turns his head to see you grinning up at him as you bob your head. Toji grasps the package and brings it down to pass it to you.

“Gojo needs a new one because he misplaced his,” you explain, taking it from him before wrapping your arm around his.

“Shitty bar owner,” Toji mutters under his breath.

You laugh as you go up to the counter to have it paid for. As you pass the scissors to the cashier, you look up at Toji and scold, “He is your best friend, Toji!”

Immediately your boyfriend pulls out his card from his back pocket to pay for the item. The cashier is watching the both of you quietly. Toji shrugs at your reminder. “So? What kind of bar owner can’t even keep a pair of fucking scissors?”

Once the payment goes through, he snatches the new pair of scissors out of the cashier’s hand. The poor boy is so terrified and surprised by Toji’s roughness that he is surprised when you thank him with a sweet smile, and start walking out of the line. The amazed cashier is watching you lead the way, and he cannot help making parallels to you walking your scary guard dog that only listens to you and no one else.

The power you hold over such a huge and fearsome man could possibly make you easily twice as scary as Toji is. Because even the blind could tell that this crude and stoic man would do anything just to see you happy and safe. There is no other reason for the soft spark that ignites in his eyes every time your name is mentioned.

“Where’s The Grump?”

You hop up the bar stool and place the new pair of scissors on the counter. Grinning at Gojo, you answer, “Parking his bike. He’ll come.”

“Oh, damn, thought it was just you.” Gojo blows a raspberry as he snatches up the stationery. “I could really do without his stale attitude today.”

“Or ever,” his partner next to him chimes in.

Gojo points at Geto with a nod and an eyebrow raise in your direction. “I feel so bad you got him as your soulmate.”

Geto stops mixing whatever drink he is making to give you a look. “How do you even live with such a cranky old fart like that? Seriously.”

You laugh. “He's not that bad.” When you see the both of them giving you the same exact look, you laugh even harder. “Really! He’s actually very nice.”

“Yeah, maybe to pretty girls,” Gojo scoffs.

Geto makes a face and disagrees with his partner, “Actually… no. Have you seen the way he looks at girls that try to hit on him?”

Gojo thinks about it for a moment before he nods. “You got a point.” He looks at you. “So it’s just you that he's nice to. How does it feel to be God’s favourite?”

You giggle. “Toji is not a god!”

Gojo stares at you for a moment, then turns to his soulmate. He wonders, “Oh, is he nice to her because she’s an airhead?”

“Hey!” You stand on the leg rest on your stool to reach over and snatch the new pair of scissors off his hand. You frown at him. “That’s mean! I’m not dumb!”

Geto leaves from behind the bar counter with the freshly made order and before he makes his way to the customer’s table, he pats your head and bumps your cheek with the back of his fingers. “Yes, you are, but in a cute way.”

“Yes, so cute,” Gojo coos, reaching over to ruffle your hair. “Can I have my scissors back, my pretty baby?”

“I’m not a baby,” you huff, though you thrust the stationery in his direction anyway.

He grins as he takes it from you, using the back of the scissors to tap the top of your head lightly before he retracts his hand. You’re huffing and complaining about the two bar owners bullying you while Satoru simply laughs endearingly at your grumbles. You are still frowning at him when you suddenly hear a commotion behind you, so you turn around, only to see your boyfriend standing next to Geto with their broad backs to you, looking at a spot in the corner, perplexed and frustrated.

As if sensing your gaze, your soulmate turns around and spots you at the bar counter. Even from afar, you can see the way his eyes light up. He holds his arm out in your direction and makes a come-hither motion. So you jump off the stool and walk over to the two men. Suguru has now turned to watch you make your way over.

“Geto slapped me on the back with the stupid tray and my keys flew in there. Pick it up for me, will you, baby?”

You immediately nod your head. Suguru and Toji are too broad and muscular to fit into a small space like this, and it is always your job whether at home or at the bar to squeeze into nooks and crannies to retrieve a lost item, just like how it is Toji’s responsibility to reach for anything that is out of your reach (which is usually things in the overhead cupboard). You’d once been so afraid of his size but now you’re comforted by it, and your dynamic that used to be a mystery and a worry to you now works so well that either of you wouldn’t know what to do without the other.

Without another word, you get down on your knees and hands. You hear some rustling behind you and when you check, you see Geto pulling the apron from around his waist and Toji doffing his black leather jacket, the both of them holding their respective materials to conceal your behind since you are in a skirt. You look away and return to crawling closer to the tight space. You go lower and stretch your hand out into the darkness, at the same time sliding almost half your body into the cranny.

You reach around for the bunch of keys and easily find it. You fish it out and sit on your heels, grinning up at Toji as you hold his keys out to him. He is only looking at you as he takes them from your hand, his free hand already reaching down to yank you up. Once you’re standing in front of him, Toji reaches behind you to pull down on your skirt and brush it down.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he murmurs before bending to brush the dirt off your knees, the side of his neck bared and close to your face.

“Okay, move outta the way, I have more customers coming in,” Geto grumbles, staring up the stairs where some people are walking down to the underground bar.

You grab Toji’s arm and pull him to the bar counter where you had been sitting. He helps you up on the stool and goes around the counter where Gojo is making some cocktails, to wet a piece of tissue. He returns and stands in front of you, wiping your hands and knees with the wet tissue.

“Thank you, Toji,” you mumble, watching him take care of you.

He simply shakes his head. He goes behind the bar counter again to bin the tissue and wash his hands. At that time, a couple of guys come over to stand next to you at the bar counter. Gojo has gone to the kitchen, so Toji decides to help out for a bit. He dries his hand and stands before them, placing his hands on the counter, his broad shoulders looking more intimidating than ever.

“Yes?” he gruffs out.

“Two whiskey sours,” one of the men orders. He turns to you and gives you a flirty smile. He orders again, “And a mojito for this beautiful lady, please.”

You are surprised. You take a quick glance at Toji, only to be even more surprised that he is already making the order. He is always so protective over you and hates when guys so much as turn their heads in your direction.

Quickly, you turn back to the guys and decline the drink, “Oh, no, thank you but that’s okay!”

“No, please. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be sitting here alone with no man and no drink,” the other one of them chuckles.

You look at Toji again, and though he is concentrating on mixing the drinks, you can clearly see the tick in his jaw. You swallow and shake your head. Smiling politely at the two men, you say, “Oh, no, I came with my boyfriend.”

“Well, he's gone, isn’t he? We can still be friends.”

Just then, Geto returns to man the counter and you see him glancing between you and the two men, then you hear him asking Toji to stop what he's doing. But Toji is quiet and somber as he simply shakes his head. Suguru looks at you and quirks an eyebrow, looking quite perplexed. He knows just how protective Toji can get when it comes to you. This reaction of his is totally new.

“So what's your name?” the guys prod.

You give an awkward chuckle. “I have a boyfriend,” you reiterate, hoping they get the hint.

“We’ll leave when he gets here.”

“Yeah, and you can tell him that you got yourself the drink.”

You’re simply staring at the two men, speechless at how disrespectful and pushy they are, when two glasses are slammed on the counter in front of them. They jump a little and turn back to the bartender in annoyance, only to drop the arrogance when they see that it is Toji.

“Two whiskey sours,” he grunts. He then gently places a cocktail, that is definitely not mojito, in front of you.

“Hey, we asked for a mojito for her.”

Toji looks them dead in the eyes and spits out, “I know my girl more than you do, and she doesn’t drink mojitos. That’s $50 for the three drinks, card or cash?”

The two men’s eyes widen into the sizes of saucer plates. Their eyes flicker between Toji and you, and when Toji quirks his eyebrows at them, they pull out their card in a nanosecond and scurry off the moment the drinks are paid for.

When they’re gone, Geto turns to Toji with his hip leaning against the counter and his arms crossed over his chest. He looks amused. “Wow. Toji Fushiguro is a changed man. No more punching men in the face whenever they speak to your little girlfriend?”

Toji washes his hands and dries them as he mutters, “I would have. Just figured since they wanted to pay for her drink, I’d just hold back.”

You giggle while Geto makes a face jokingly. “Stingy ass.”

Toji comes round to the front again where he sits next to you, bringing his chair close to you. He spreads his legs so that you’re between them, and rests his foot on the footrest of your stool, almost like he is protecting you.

“Whiskey on the rocks,” he tells Geto, who is already pulling out the bottle of his favourite whiskey. Toji always gets the same thing.

You take a sip of the cocktail in front of you and turn to your soulmate, who is already watching you. “Mm. Apple pie!” He nods his head, quiet with his eyes still on you. You beam at him. “Yummy!”

He still doesn’t say anything. He simply watches you for a few seconds before reaching a beefy hand out to cup your face. Before he even gets to stroke his thumb on your cheek, Geto slaps a coaster down on the counter in front of his best friend and places a full cup of whiskey on it.

“Stop being gross,” is all he says.

Gojo pushes through the door of the kitchen with two plates balanced on his palms. “Suguru, table 17 and 4, please.”

Geto is already taking the plates off him as he mumbles, “Got it.”

He goes off to bring the food to the tables so that it is just Gojo in front of you and Toji. He grins at you. “Wanna go to a party when we close tonight?”

You glance at Toji, who has dropped his hand from your face to pick up his drink. You turn back to his friend. “Sure. Whose place?”

“Shoko’s.”

Toji is out of his element. He hates socialising, especially at a party. People just drain his energy, even Satoru and Suguru are no exception. The only person he doesn't mind— or rather, wants to be together with all the time is you. But you are the opposite of him. Everything about the both of you are opposites.

You enjoy being with people. You’re loud all the time, and you attract people like moths to a flame. You could be standing there minding your own business and yet still have someone approaching you. You’re just a people person and Toji is not. Which is why, Toji grabs onto your wrist when you start to drift a little too far from him.

“Where are you going?” he questions quietly. Only you can sense the mild panic in his voice.

You smile. “I was gonna go get us a drink.” You pat his hand that is still holding onto you. “Wait here, okay?”

His eyes dart around the place and as if a saviour has appeared, he quickly lets go of you and stands up to grab a hold of Gojo who had been walking away. Satoru stumbles back, surprised and confused.

“Get us a drink on your way back, will ya,” Toji mutters.

Satoru frowns at him. “I’m going to the bathroom, dickhead.”

“Stop by the drinks station on your way back and get us something, then.”

“Why can’t you do it yourself?”

Deciding to end this bickering, you place a hand on each of their chest. The two men huff at each other before turning to you. You tell Toji first, “Let’s go get the drinks together, okay?” Then you turn to Gojo. “And you can come find us when you’re done.”

“What for—”

“She said come find us when you’re done,” Toji repeats in a grunt.

Gojo turns to you wide-eyed like he is saying, “Did you see what he just did to me?” But you simply grin up at him and pat his chest before turning around and flouncing off in the direction of the drinks station. Toji follows behind you, but not without a flick to his ear by Gojo.

“What do you want to drink?” you question when you’re standing in front of a whole bunch of different alcohol types.

You’re reaching out for a cup when Toji interjects and pushes you away gently as he takes over your spot. You look up at him and he says, “I’ll mix you something. Just go to the fridge and get me a beer, will you, sweetheart?”

You do as he asked you to and when you’re back, he is pouring cranberry juice into your cup. You exchange your drinks once he is done with the concoction and you mix the liquid in your cup with your finger. You’re about to put it in your mouth to lick your finger clean, but your wrist is caught in Toji’s grasp. You look up at him, surprised and confused. But he simply brings your finger up to his mouth, where he sucks on your soaked digit.

“Yep, you’re gonna like that,” he compliments his own drink mixing skill with a cocky eyebrow raise and a smirk.

You immediately erupt in flames but you take a sip of your drink quietly. He is right, of course. Toji knows just how you like your drinks. He knows you too well.

Toji takes a sip of his beer as he leans against the kitchen counter. Just then, Gojo and a bunch of his noisy friends come streaming through the kitchen door and head over to your group. The two bar owners have really good alcohol tolerance but you know that they’ve definitely drank a bit too much by how loud they’re being. You move closer to your boyfriend, somehow managing to stand between his legs and be engulfed in his body.

“We’re going to the club. Wanna join?”

You frown at Gojo as Toji takes a swig of his beer. “Now? We just got our drink,” you whine.

“Chug it, then.” Suguru raises his brows at the man behind you. “You have a bodyguard to take care of you.”

You turn and look up at Toji, who simply stares back at you. He is not the most sociable person but if you wanted to socialise, he’d step out of his comfort zone for you.

“I don’t know…” you mumble, turning back to your friends. “I’m not feeling it—”

“Oh, you’re a lightweight!” Satoru snarks. “Down that cup and you’ll be feeling it in a minute!”

“Drink, drink, drink!”

Your friends start chanting and suddenly you’re pressured by a group of four to skull an entire cup of alcohol. You feel Toji standing straighter behind you, probably ready to snap at them for being a bad influence. Quickly, you instinctively down the drink and all your friends start cheering you on.

“Baby!” Toji hisses. He snatches the cup out of your hand but you’ve already finished three-quarters of it. “We could have just gone home,” he groans. You simply stare up at him as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “You’re so stupid.” Your lips fall into a pout and he immediately softens the frown on his face. “Baby,” he sighs, this time concerned.

A hand lands on your shoulder and you’re suddenly pulled away from Toji. “Oh, stop worrying, lover boy,” comes Satoru’s taunt. “We always take good care of our little baby, don’t we?” he coos as he leans down to press his cheek to yours, grinning annoyingly at your soulmate.

You are having so much fun and you’re so glad you came. The club is packed, the music is good, and the energy is electric. You’re dancing and singing along to all your favourite songs with all your friends, the whole bunch of you loud and having the best times of your lives.

Except for Toji.

He is standing by the bar, keeping his eagle eyes on you so he doesn't lose sight of you, as he sips on his fourth glass of whisky. If you’re a lightweight, you’d best bet that your soulmate is the opposite. Someone has to be sober enough to take care of you.

It isn’t about his sobriety either, actually. Being the soulmate to a young girl who is over 10 years younger than he is, Toji just finds it refreshing to see how much energy you have in your little body. He is way past the age to be drinking just to party but he doesn’t want to rob his soulmate of this time in your life where you can party all night long and still not suffer any consequences the next day.

It is your third time being approached by a boy, trying to dance with you. But like what you’ve done with the previous two, you point to Toji, who tips his glass in your direction with a quirk of his eyebrow. And just like the previous two times, this boy is frightened by how intimidating your boyfriend is and immediately takes his leave.

It’s been an hour and a half in the club, and you’re starting to feel partied out. Leaving your friend group, you squeeze your way out to find Toji, who meets you halfway, not wanting to have you alone in the club even for just a few seconds. You immediately hug his arm and lean against his warm body.

“Ready to go home?” Toji shouts.

You nod your head. So he downs his drink and leaves it at the bar counter before finding his way out of the club with you latched on him. When you’re out, Toji takes his arm away from you to doff his leather jacket and hold it open for you. You wear it and you’re suddenly drowning in the jacket. You go back to hugging Toji’s arm. He has just fished his phone out to book a ride home when someone ruffles your hair.

Toji’s body stiffens and he looks up to glare at his possible victim when he notices Satoru grinning at the both of you. You rest your temple against Toji’s bicep as you look up at Gojo.

“Where is Sugu?” you mumble.

He throws his thumb over his shoulder. “Drunk.”

You rest your hand on Toji’s chest so you can tiptoe and take a look behind Gojo. While you’re watching Geto sitting on the pavement curb, head hung and propped up on his hands, Toji slips his arm out between the both of you to wrap around your body, pressing you to him. You circle an arm around his waist and rest your head on his chest.

“Are you guys going home now?”

You bob your head. “Tired,” you murmur.

Gojo groans as he glares at Toji like your boyfriend has offended him. He complains, “You’re so lucky your soulmate is half your size and easy to carry.”

Being the people pleaser that you are, you look up at Toji. “Oh, Toji! Why don’t you help—”

“No.”

You frown at him. “But why? You’re so strong.”

“Yeah, Toji. You’re so strong,” Satoru joins in, grinning.

“Shut the fuck up,” your boyfriend grinds out as he sets a deadly glare on his good friend. “Stop acting like you’re so weak.”

Gojo, now dropping his mockery tone, runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “You know Suguru is heavier than he looks. He's going to be hard to move around.”

“Baby,” you try again. You’re always so nice to your friends. “Help Toru get Suguru home. Or they could come over—”

“No,” Toji snaps.

You shut up, surprised at his tone. Hurt, you drop your hands away from Toji and take a step back, crossing your arms. But you know that you probably don't look intimidating at all, especially in your boyfriend’s huge jacket.

“Princess, you’re drunk and I’m tired—” he tries to say as he reaches out for you.

But you dodge his hand. “You’re so mean to your friends, Toji. I don't like it when you’re mean to them. And then you get mad at me.”

Toji’s gaze softens. “I’m not mad at you, sweetheart. You’re my priority. I want to take care of you.”

“But I’m fine!”

“You’re drunk, sweetheart.”

“I’m fine!” You stomp your foot.

Toji rubs his face tiredly. He locks his phone and shoves it back into his pocket in defeat. He stares at you. “Okay. What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to help Satoru!” you huff.

Gojo, while you were squabbling before him, is just staring at you in admiration and awe. He has never seen Toji so docile and tame, and nice before. You have a chokehold on him and it is so apparent who holds the upper hand in the relationship.

But Satoru suddenly feels cold and he just knows that Toji is glaring at him even before he turns to look at his best friend. Gojo smiles nervously. “Yes, Fushiguro?”

“You’re paying for the ride back home.”

You hold the door open for Toji and Satoru to lug in an unconscious Suguru, where they dump him on your couch. Satoru groans and Toji immediately leaves to go into your shared bedroom. You take off Toji’s jacket and hang it up, just in time for Toji to come back out to hand Gojo some extra blankets you don't use. Finally, the two men turn to you.

“Are we good now?” Toji mutters.

You bob your head meekly and he immediately goes into the bedroom. You look at Satoru, who gives you an encouraging look.

“Thanks, doll. Think you should call it a night.”

You nod your head and rush into the room where you hear the water already running in the bathroom. You quickly undress and join Toji in the shower. You watch him clean himself up silently, entirely ignoring you when he would normally be all over you.

“Toji?” you call weakly. He doesn’t answer you. You move forward to touch his torso as he rinses his hair. “Toji, can you wash my hair for me too?” you try.

He opens his eyes and lands his steely gaze on you. The moment he sees the kicked puppy look on your face, he feels his heart softening. “C’mere,” he mutters.

You’re excited at his invite, and you move to stand in front of him and turn your back to him. He takes the shower head and you tilt your head back so he can rinse your hair. Turning the water off, he starts lathering your hair with shampoo. In the silence, you feel even more nervous with this Toji. So you speak up.

“Are you mad at me, Toji?”

The question hangs in the air for a long while. Unable to take his silence anymore, you turn around so that you are facing him and his arms are stretched out to massage shampoo into your hair. Toji sees the small pout on your lips. He sighs.

“I just don’t understand why you have to be so nice. You were drunk and tired, too. It just pisses me off that you don’t ever think for yourself first.”

“But Satoru needed help…”

“What do you think he did before he even knew you? He’s just fucking with us.”

“What do you mean?” You frown at him. He's just so mean sometimes.

Toji stops massaging your scalp now and uses the remaining shampoo on his hands to wash his own hair. “I mean, he carried his fucking boyfriend home drunk plenty of times before. Might have taken him a while but he did it fine. He just makes use of you to get me to help him because he knows I would do anything you asked me to.”

You hear nothing but the last bit. You completely forget that you had thought he was mean. “Would you actually do anything I ask you to?” you murmur.

Toji narrows suspicious eyes on you. “Within means.”

You throw your arms around him at once, smushing your cheek to his firm chest. He grunts in surprise, quickly resting his hand on your shoulder blade. “I’m sorry I got mad at you for being mean to Toru,” you mumble.

Toji takes in a deep breath. “Yes, you should be.” You gasp and tilt your head up to pout at him. He has a cheeky glint in his eyes when he says, “You were going to get lucky in the morning but now you have two dumbasses in the living room.”

“What do you—” The innuendo behind his words finally hits you and your face glows red. “Princess fucked up?” you try to give him a cute pout.

Toji only laughs, his scarred lips stretching wide. He cups your chin and leans in to peck you on your lips. “Princess fucked up,” he agrees.

Despite Toji’s declaration last night, you still woke up lucky this morning. Not only because of Toji’s “Princess Treatment”, but also because Suguru and Satoru wanted to thank the both of you for letting them crash your place by cooking breakfast. Using the ingredients in your kitchen.

“Steak? For breakfast?!” Toji shouts.

Your soulmate buys at least 5kg worth of beef every week for his protein intake. It is expensive and he definitely would not be eating it as hangover food.

You giggle as you go over to Suguru’s side, hugging him as he cooks up a ton of sunny side up eggs. Satoru and Toji are bickering in the background. Suguru places a hand on the top of your head and leans down to kiss your hair.

“Thanks for getting Toji to help Satoru last night,” he murmurs.

You look up at him with a beaming smile. “Thank you for staying friends with Toji.”

He laughs and pats your head. “We stay only ‘cause of you, sweetheart. Now go prep the table. Breakfast’s almost ready.”

You do as he says, bringing out plates and cutlery for everyone. Before you even struggle with the weight of the ceramics, your boyfriend floats past you and picks them up instead. You follow after him like a duckling, standing there uselessly while he goes around the table to set up. When he’s done, Toji stands next to you as the both of you watch Gojo set glasses of water at the table. You stare up at Toji, who immediately looks down at you.

“I’ve never had steak for breakfast before,” you admit innocently.

Toji lets out a strangled groan and slumps over your body as he wraps his arms around you like you are his pillar of strength. “I fucking hate them, baby,” he confesses in a fake cry.

It makes you laugh because if anyone could ever get Toji to be so dramatic, it would definitely be his best friends. It is a side of his you never get to see when it is just the two of you.

You reach behind him and pat his back. “There, there, baby. We’ll buy more today.”

“No,” he says seriously now as he stands upright. You look up at him in surprise. “Satoru and Suguru are buying more today.”

Just then, the man with long, black hair walks towards the dining table with a plate piled with all the eggs you had in your fridge, all cooked perfectly. “We need to get groceries for our place anyway,” Suguru says. “We’ll buy yours too.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Satoru sings as he skips over and drags his chair out to plop down on it. “Double date!”

You move to sit next to him as you laugh, amused. “At the supermarket?”

“Double date at the supermarket!” Satoru announces as he throws his arm around you the moment you get to the doors of the huge establishment.

Toji rolls his eyes next to you. Suguru comes over now and holds a basket out to your boyfriend. But he rejects it and insists, “I’m going to need a cart.”

So you’re walking down the condiments aisle next to Toji while Suguru and Satoru are discussing about sauces they need for a recipe they are planning to try out for the bar. You slip your arms around one of Toji’s and walk close to him. He moves to rest his elbows on the cart handle so that he is almost at your same height even though he has to basically walk with a hunched back.

As the both of you watch the two males in front of you squabbling about the qualities of brands, you briefly wonder, “Do you think we have soulmates for friends too?”

Toji hums and shrugs a shoulder. “Why’d you ask that?”

You guys halt when Gojo and Geto stop for a condiment. You let go of Toji and turn to him. Returning to his full height, he gazes down at you. “If we do, I really hope Satoru and Suguru are our soulmates,” you sincerely say.

Toji makes a face. “Those clowns?” You bob your head innocently. He turns to watch his two best friends throwing a sauce bottle back and forth as if it is a dynamite that might go off in the next minute. Toji finally turns back to you with an incredulously confused look. “Seriously? Those clowns?”

You reach out to thump his chest as you laugh. “I know you love them, Toji. You know, if we ever have kids, I want Toru and Suguru to be their godfathers.”

“Hell no, I’m not letting those idiots near my babies,” your soulmate immediately declares, shutting down all possible arguments as he turns to push the cart again.

You follow after him and grab hold of his shirt. “You’re so mean to our childrens’ godfathers, Toji.”

He glares at you, which only makes you giggle. He pushes your hand away from clutching onto his shirt and you are offended for a second before he slips his palm against yours, his fingers sliding between yours. He pulls you closer until you are bumping against him. You stare up at him, wondering why he did that.

“Should we ditch them?” he whispers as he eyes the two grumbling men.

You giggle. “Who’s gonna pay for our groceries then?”

He groans and sets his eyes on you. “Ugh. You’re right. They’re—”

“Hey! Who wants some cake and ice cream?” Satoru shouts in your direction. Immediately, you grin and raise your hand eagerly. He smiles back happily. “Let’s buy ingredients and make a strawberry shortcake at the bar!”

“We’re making them?” you groan at the same time Toji almost yells, “We’re spending more time together?!”

You’re watching the three men across the kitchen island. You’re given the easiest job, which is to cut up the strawberries, so you have plenty of time to watch Toji whip a bowl of cream while Suguru helps to pour in sugar at intervals, as Satoru mixes the cake mixture. You think it’s so cute how they’re gossiping about a mutual friend one moment and then bickering the next because flour has flown everywhere.

“Gojo!” Toji snaps as he stops mixing and looks down at his black shirt now dusted with flour.

Satoru goes over to him and fakes gasp, “Oh my God, I’m sorry!” He then dips his finger into Toji’s bowl and scoops up a dollop of whipping cream. He puts it into his mouth and moans. “Mmm. Yummy!”

“Satoru!” Geto scolds with a disapproving look on his face.

The white-haired man is making eye contact with an annoyed Toji who is glaring at him. He grins obnoxiously and lets his finger go for another dip. He then holds his finger out to his boyfriend. “It really is yummy.”

Despite the side glare that Suguru gives him, he still takes Satoru’s finger into his mouth and sucks on it. He flickers his eyes over to Toji, looking just a bit surprised. “Oh, it’s actually good.”

Your soulmate is just glaring at them and you just know that he is so close to blowing up. So you go over with a strawberry and dip it into the cream. You look up at Toji, who is squinting at you. You take a small bite from the side of the strawberry and let out a happy squeal.

“Mm!” You hold out the rest of the strawberry to your boyfriend. “Try it, Toji.”

He keeps glaring at you. So you bring the strawberry closer and bump his lip with the cream. He finally parts his lips and allows you to feed him.

You, Gojo, and Geto are standing there, staring up at the green-eyed man expectantly as he chews slowly, savouring the flavour. There is not a single hint from Toji if he enjoyed the whipped cream as much as we do. That is until he swallows and Satoru breaks the silence with a whisper, as if afraid to enrage a beast.

“So…? How is it?”

Toji is silent for a moment. Then he mutters, “It’s not bad.”

Satoru and Suguru let out relieved breaths. Gojo rounds the island to bring over the remaining uncut strawberries. He dips a strawberry into the cream as he says, “I dunno why you’re always so grumpy. Fushiguro.”

Suguru follows suit in eating strawberries covered in whipped cream. He adds, “Yeah. Can’t you just let loose a little?”

Satoru is now eating his third strawberry. His mouth is still full when he mumbles, “You’re like an old man in a young man’s body.”

Suguru is on his second strawberry now, making sure the berry is completely covered in cream as he comments, “Though he’s not that young.”

You watch Toji’s face turning darker by the second. Especially when Satoru agrees, “True. The only thing young about him is his cute little girlfriend.” You blush when he winks at you.

Toji decides that this is his final straw as he slams the mixing bowl down on the island and snaps, “I’m only four years older than the two of you, fuckwits!” As his two best friends gape at him in surprise at his outburst, he snatches Satoru’s fourth strawberry out of his hand and grunts, “And stop eating all the fucking cream if you’re gonna make a fucking cake. Dumbass.”

Then, he holds the berry out to you. Shyly, you take it and thank him. He steps out from between Geto and Gojo to go over to stand by your side, brushing your hair back so it doesn't get in the way as you munch on the strawberry. Satoru and Suguru are observing the both of you, and you can see Satoru glaring at you.

“You’re a bitch for stealing my best friend and pitting him against me,” he spits. But he is only eyeing at the strawberry in your hand.

You laugh. “Toru, just give up on the cake and eat the strawberries with the cream. We can make the cake another time.”

The suggestion sparks a glint of hope in his bright blue eyes and he immediately grins at you. “You’re the smartest bimbo ever. I love you as much as Toji loves you.”

Toji blows a raspberry and rolls his eyes. But you smile back at him. “I love you as much as Toji loves you too, Toru!”

Your soulmate immediately mumbles, almost concerned because he knows how much you love his best friends, "That's not a lot, babe."

At the same, Suguru also dramatically laments, “Oh, if only hate was love and bimbos were smart.”

<< Prequel | Part 2 >>

571 notes · View notes