#thanks to all the follows and the sweet messages this past year as well <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lottins-only]

I love you, it's ruining my life | Part III

pairing: Kylian x black!fem!Reader

warnings: some nsfw (?) content

word count: 6.9k

part one, part two

A/N: this one is a bit long 🫠 Thank you to those who read the first two parts, and to those who sent me sweet messages🙏🏾Inbox is open, so please do let me know your thoughts !! <3

III. December 2022

“What are those for?” 

Y/N followed Ethan’s inquisitive gaze to the top of her tote bag . She quickly shoved down the bags of candy peeking out, trying to conceal their abundance. She knew she’d packed way too many, but more meant better options, she’d reasoned. Especially since the person they were meant for had the sweet tooth of a 5 year old. 

“Oh, you know me, I always have to have snacks on me” She lied.

Ethan looked at her like she was a madman, then shook his head before turning his attention to his phone. They were sitting outside at a luxurious hotel that served as the base camp of the French National Team for the duration of the World Cup. With the final only a few days away, the FFF had organized a “fun day” for the players to unwind with their loved ones. There were bouncy castles and inflatable slides littered around the lawn for children, while the irresistible aroma of barbecue wafted through the air. Kylian was somewhere entertaining his niece and nephew, and was hanging out with his parents as well. Y/N and Ethan, introverts as they were, spent most of their time chilling on the lounge chairs drinking mojitos (Virgin mojitos for Ethan; he’d tried to convince her to let him have a try from her drink but she’d refused). 

Y/N was enjoying herself. Truly savoring every moment. A one month-long, all-expenses-paid trip to watch her best friend play in the World Cup? She couldn’t have submitted her PTO request fast enough.  

 “It’s probably only going to be 2 weeks though”  Kylian had said to her half- jokingly when he’d proposed the idea over the phone. He was referring to the “winner's curse”, the jinx that often saw past winners exit the tournament in the group stages.  But against all odds, France was once again in the final of the World Cup. 

She opened her phone, dismayed to find zero new messages from her boyfriend of 8 months, Lucas. They had met when she moved to Madrid straight after graduating from university. She’d found a job at a small public health non-profit, and Lucas had been one of the few people working there that was her age. They’d quickly struck up a friendship,  and he’d immediately asked her out after he left that job a few years later. It was a no-brainer for Y/N to say yes. He was good looking, charming, and made her laugh. Besides, it was well past the time to move on from Kylian. 

For his part, Kylian had been ecstatic when she’d returned to Europe. They had grown closer after both of their moves,  despite the distance. They facetimed at least once a week, and it sort of became a tradition for Kylian to give her a quick call before games. They’d text regularly too, their conversations meandering from trivial topics to deep confessions. Once, she’d mentioned that she used “Study with me” YouTube videos for her study sessions, as it was a way to keep herself accountable. 

“I could do that with you, you don’t need stupid youtube videos” he’d said confidently over the phone. 

She’d laughed. “You can’t shut up for 2 minutes if your life depended on it, Ky”

“No, I can” he’d said seriously. “I want to, for you”

And so they’d formed another tradition. They’d sit silently on facetime for hours and hours, Y/N poring over her books and notes, and Kylian in his room alone doing god knows what. He’d check in on her every once in a while, always encouraging. She knew that he had a busy life and few precious hours to himself, so she was grateful that he’d decided to spend that time with her, doing something that had no immediate benefit to him whatsoever. 

They’d opened up more about their love lives as well, as they’d promised to each other back in Monaco. She didn’t volunteer any information herself, because it was still  a little weird, but she’d answer questions if he probed. It was a lot less easy for Kylian to hide things from her, thanks to his growing fame. She’d only have to scroll through her explore page on Instagram or go through gossip websites to find detailed information about any woman who so much as breathed next to him. He’d continued dating people after the breakup with Sophia, which had happened only a month after her visit in Monaco. But much to her relief, it was never serious with anyone. She’d once seen pictures of him in the stands at the Parc des Princes with a blonde actress, and that old feeling of jealousy had snuck up on her like it had never left.  But just two weeks later, Kylian informed her that it was over. 

She had mentioned  Lucas to him  pretty early on in the relationship. Like she expected, he’d made a bad joke out of it. Something about HR needing to be alerted. She’d reminded him, rather annoyed, that Lucas no longer worked at her workplace. He didn’t say anything after that, quickly changing the subject. One day, however, Lucas mentioned something that gave her pause.

“You know something crazy that happened to me today?” He’d laughed. They were lounging on her couch in her apartment, watching a movie. “Kylian Mbappe liked a picture of mine on Instagram, from like 6 years ago”

She’d furrowed her eyebrows. Lucas was a huge football fan, but Y/N still hadn’t mentioned her friendship with Kylian. It had only been a month of them seeing each other, and about 3 days after she’d told Kylian about him. 

“Yeah, look” Lucas brought out his phone and showed her a screenshot. Sure enough, Kylian’s username was under a picture of Lucas’ dated December 2016. Lucas was a regular poster on Instagram, so Kylian must have scrolled far back to find that picture. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. 

“I know right?” Lucas  had said. “Funny thing is, it disappeared just a few seconds after I got the notification. So random.”

She imagined THE Kylian Mbappe in his bed late at night, lurking on Instagram, accidentally liking an old picture and then hurriedly unliking. 

“Yeah” she had said, a smile tugging at her lips. “Random”

As Y/N’s thoughts drifted back to the present, she glanced at her phone again. Still empty. After a rocky couple weeks  of arguments, Y/N and Lucas decided to go on a break. Lucas had grown distant and less affectionate. He was less present when they spent time together, and was generally making less effort in the relationship. It had been a punch to the gut when he’d forgotten her birthday two weeks ago. She hadn’t said anything; he’d only realized when he saw the huge bouquet of flowers from Kylian sitting on her dining table. 

That was also another sore spot in their relationship; Lucas was not at all comfortable with her friendship with Kylian. He hadn’t mentioned it, and she had made a point to tone down the constant texting and calling as soon as they became official, but she could still see it in the way he behaved. The World Cup trip was the tipping point. She couldn’t blame him; Her male best friend, who was one of the most famous footballers in the world, was bankrolling a one month trip for her to watch him play on the world’s biggest stage. It would be a hit to the ego for any man. But frankly, she was tired. She was tired of him, and she wanted time away from him. And so the break began. 

She did not miss him, if she was being honest with herself. Yet, she couldn’t help checking her phone to see if he’d reached out.  Lucas was the only person she’d been seriously interested in, besides Kylian. Maybe it wasn’t wise to give up on something good over a bad month or so. A tiny, insecure part of her told her she’d never find someone who liked her just as much as Lucas.

“Hi there” A deep voice cut through her thoughts. She looked up to see a very handsome face.

He stood tall in the dark blue tracksuit of the French national team, smiling at her broadly. She recognized him immediately. 

“Hi” She responded shyly, having never spoken to Kylian’s national team teammates before. 

“Saw you from over there” Aurelien Tchouameni pointed to the mini basketball court, where some other players were shooting hoops. “And you’re really pretty”

Straight to the point, then. Ethan snorted from across the table. 

“Uh.. thanks” She said nervously. “I have a boyfriend though”

Aurelien glanced at Ethan, then at her. Realization dawned on his face, and he held up his hands apologetically. “Oh, you’re Y/N! I should’ve realized… So you and Kylian finally got together, huh?”

“W-What?” She blabbered. Ethan was now laughing. “No, we’re not dating. Just friends”

“Oh” Aurelien said, his eyebrows furrowing. “Sorry. It’s just that he always talks about you”

“Really?”

“Yeah, whenever we talk about shows and music and stuff, he’s always like Y/N recommended this, Y/N said that”

“Yeah, he basically stole my entire personality” She deadpanned, trying to feel less awkward.

He laughed, nodding in agreement. “Well, you guys have fun. And sorry about that, I just had to shoot my shot”

He winked and walked away as quickly as he’d appeared.

She turned to Ethan, who was no doubt opening his mouth to tease her. She held up her hand. “Don’t even”

Y/N unloaded the contents of her tote bag on the bed, spilling out every type of candy Kylian had ever enjoyed. She turned to him, smiling proudly. “There you go, Monsieur”

Kylian’s eyes lit up as he grabbed a bag of M&Ms and tore it open. “Thank you” he said with a dimpled grin.

He’d  texted her the day before asking her to grab him some candy, and she was happy to oblige. Kylian was the most disciplined person she’d ever met, but everyone deserves a cheat day—especially someone who’d made it to his second World Cup final at 23. She’d waited until they were alone in his room to give him the treats, careful to not be seen by any of the coaching staff. 

She leaned back on her chair and opened her phone, once again checking for new messages. 

“Stop that” Kylian scolded.

“Stop what?” She asked innocently.

“I know what you’re doing” he said. “I can’t believe you’re the one who’s hung up on him while he’s the asshole. It should be the other way around”

“I’m not hung up on him” She said, flustered. “I’m just…”

“You’re checking your phone every 5 minutes” He cut in. “You deserve someone who gives you their full attention and consideration, you know”

And why can’t that person be you?

The door burst open and Ethan walked in, his eyes immediately landing on all the candy.

“I knew it!” He pointed at her, accusatorial. “I knew it was for him”

She shrugged apologetically. 

Ethan happily opened a bag of Haribos, and turned to his brother, a mischievous look on his face. “Did she tell you about Tchouameni?”

“What about him?” Kylian responded absentmindedly, his attention on his phone. 

“He hit on her” Ethan said grinning “And then when he found out who she was he said he thought you two were dating”

An idea unfurled in Y/N’s head. “He’s so hot” she said. “Maybe I should ask for his number. Might as well, right? Since Lucas and I are basically done…”

“No” Kylian’s voice rose slightly. “No, don’t do that.”

“Why not?” She asked “You just said I deserve someone who gives me attention. Aurelien seems like the type”

He was fidgeting now, irritation clearly written on his face. “Athletes are assholes, haven’t you heard that before? Also, it would be weird for you to date my teammate”

“Are you saying you’re an asshole?” She asked

“No, but.. Just trust me” He turned his attention back to his phone, clearly uncomfortable. 

Y/N wasn’t much of a football fan, but she knew that the match she just witnessed was one of the best ever played. The highs and lows, the split second moments that changed the trajectory of the whole game, the sheer unpredictability of the whole thing. Every single movement made by the players felt like the tipping point. The atmosphere inside the stadium was electric, a living, breathing entity fueled by the passion and excitement of the fans watching. By the time the Argentinian player had kicked the final penalty to seal his country’s win, she was overwhelmed by a deep feeling of sadness. So much so, that she felt tears prick her eyes. She looked down at Kylian, only a small figure from her seat in the stands. His shoulder was slumped, his entire body deflated. He had given his all, and yet he had lost.  Teammates and coaching staff alike kept coming up to him to comfort him. She desperately wanted to go over to him, to hold him, but she knew she couldn’t enter the pitch until after the medal ceremony. 

She saw him and his teammates retreat into the tunnels just as Messi lifted up the World Cup to the cheer of thousands. She turned to his family and friends,  with whom she’d been cheering in elation at Kylian’s equalizing goal just a few minutes ago. 

“Go” his father urged her “The only person he’d want to see right now is you”

She didn’t need to be told twice. She weaved her way through the stadium, flashing her VIP access lanyard when met with security, and asking for directions once or twice. She passed through the final set of security before finding herself outside the French team’s locker rooms. She informed the guard outside who she was looking for. He went inside, and moments later, came back out with Kylian. 

Her heart nearly shattered at the sight of him. He kept his head down, but she could see his eyes were bloodshot. Without a word, she wrapped him in a tight hug, feeling him shake silently in her embrace. She had never seen Kylian cry before. 

“Hey” she murmured softly. “It’s okay”

He buried his face in her shoulder, his breath hitching with each silent sob. Her own tears slipped down her cheeks. He gently let go a few moments later, and they sat down on the floor, leaning against the hallway wall. 

“I thought we had it” He said, his voice cracking. 

“ I know you did” She said gently, wiping a tear falling down his cheeks. “ You gave your everything. Sometimes it just comes down to luck, Ky. There’s nothing you can do about it” She took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. 

Kylian nodded, but she knew he didn’t believe her. Knowing him, this night would haunt him for a long time. 

“Thank you for being here” His voice was steadier now. He leaned his head on her shoulder. 

“Always” She whispered. 

They sat there for some minutes, watching the hallway slowly become filled with the families of the other players. Her heart warmed at the sight of Griezmann’s daughters comforting their father. Her thumb was slowly caressing the back of Kylian’s hand. Turning slowly, she kissed his forehead. She wondered if they looked like a couple just then, with their hands joined in her lap and her lips on his forehead.

                        

It was 2 days after that disappointing night in Qatar,  and two nights since Y/N had been unceremoniously dumped over the phone.

The weight of the defeat had lingered that night, sucking the energy out of everyone. By the time Y/N and the Mbappes returned to the hotel, the atmosphere was thick with sadness and disappointment. She’d gotten the call just as she’d walked into her hotel room. Lucas’ voice had been calm and detached as he’d delivered the news she had dreaded: their relationship was over. The entire conversation was a blur, but there were bits and pieces that stung so much it still echoed in her head. “ I don’t feel that connection anymore” to “I’m clearly second choice here”  and “you’ve been lying to yourself all this time”. She’d cried herself to sleep, overwhelmed by a storm of heartache and confusion.

She had planned to go straight to Madrid after the final but decided to hide out with her parents in Paris for a couple days. It was now the 20th, Kylian’s birthday. She hadn’t spoken to him since coming back to Paris, caught up in her own heartbreak, but she’d received an invitation for a birthday dinner via his assistant. It took everything in her to drag herself out of bed and to get ready. 

The restaurant was one of the most famous in Paris, and Kylian’s personal favorite. He’d reserved the entire space for his friends and family. It was cozy, with dimmed lights and ambient music  blending in with the chatter of the guests. A single long table stretched across the room, dotted with candlelight. 

As Y/N made her way through the room, she greeted everyone –  Kylian’s parents, his brothers, his closest teammates, his close friends, and other acquaintances. To her embarrassment, she’d been the last guest to arrive. His assistant guided her to the only open seat left, right next to Kylian. 

“No one wants to sit next to the birthday boy?” She quipped as she took her place.

“Was saving it for you” He replied. He looked handsome in a blue Dior sweater and black denim jeans. His tan from Qatar was already fading, and he had a small smile playing on his face. They chatted for a bit, asking each other about their respective heartbreaks, before becoming engrossed in the lively conversations surrounding them. 

At one point, they caught each other’s eyes. The candlelight was casting strange shadows on his face. She smiled at him, and without thinking, poked at one of his dimples. “I’m really glad you were born, by the way”

“ I know” His eyes sparkled with amusement. His  arm was draped casually over the back of her chair, their faces close. He  gently tugged at a single braid of her hair with his other hand and murmured, “I like your hair like this. It’s new right?”

It was indeed new. She’d decided to try boho braids for the first time. 

You deserve someone who gives you their full attention and consideration, you know. 

Someone cleared their throat, and they sprung apart. It was the waitstaff, ready to serve appetizers. They spoke sparingly as they ate. Kylian, the menace that he was, kept reaching for bites from her plate. She elbowed him whenever he did, but she didn’t hesitate to steal from his plate as well. 

After everyone had eaten and all the food was cleared, a huge cake with 24 individual candles was brought out. She made sure to take a video of Kylian smiling as everyone sang Joyeux Anniversaire, giggling at how awkward he looked. 

“Make a wish first!” Someone called just as he was about to blow out the candles.

He paused,  his gaze locking with Y/N’s over her phone screen as he playfully pointed a finger at her. He continued blowing out his candles, never breaking eye contact with her. A chorus of laughter came from the guests at his antics, and Y/N felt her face burn as she put down her phone. 

“He’s so down bad for her…” She could hear Tchaga snigger. Another ripple of laughter broke out from the guests at his comment. She wished the ground would open up and swallow her at that moment. 

The laughter and celebration gradually tapered off after some time, and Y/N and some other friends were invited by Kylian to his apartment for some drinks. He had training the next day and didn’t want to do some heavy clubbing. 

The sound of easy laughter and the clinking of glasses filled Kylian’s apartment. Y/N and Kylian were sitting on the couch in his living room, their bodies close together despite them being the only occupants. They were reminiscing about the time Kylian had tried to convince her to play in a school tournament. There was a rule that the teams had to be mixed, and not a lot of girls wanted to play. He’d begged Y/N to join, and she’d reluctantly accepted on the condition that he’d buy her a teddy bear if they won.  They were playing for a plastic trophy that cost 2 euros, yet Kylian treated it like it was life or death. They won, and Y/N got her teddy bear.

“I still have that teddy bear, you know” she said.

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh. It’s probably my favorite gift I’ve ever received”

He hummed, clearly pleased. She didn’t know when and how, but her leg was slung over his. His hand was on her, his fingers softly tracing lines up and down her calf. 

“So, I’m your birthday wish huh?” She knew she wouldn’t be bold enough to say those words any other time, but here they were. The physical proximity was like a promise of something greater happening. 

“Yup” He met her eyes confidently, his eyes shining. 

“Maybe you should’ve started small though. Like a kiss?” She tried her best to sound flirtatious.

He laughed, “Ok. Let me redo the wish”

He cleared his throat and closed his eyes, a small smile still playing on his lips. He put his palms together as if in prayer and said in a deep, affected voice, “ Dear Universe, for my 24th birthday, I wish to receive a kiss from Y/N”

Without skipping a beat, she leaned in and slanted her lips over his. She could feel his breath hitch, like he hadn’t expected her to do that. It hardly took a second for him to kiss back though. It was slow, sensual. Tender and exploratory. His tongue brushed her lips before slipping inside, and she welcomed him with a soft sigh. The hand that had been on her calf quickly moved to her hips, and his other hand gently cupped her face. Her stomach was a puddle, and she was glad that they were sitting down because she was sure her knees would’ve given out if they were standing. The kiss deepened and went on and on and on, until they had to break away for air. He looked dazed, his lips glistening from her shiny lipgloss.

He quickly put his lips back on her, but Y/N pulled away.

She pressed her lips over his ear and murmured, “You need to tell everyone to leave. Now”

Kylian quickly waved Tchaga over and whispered in his ear urgently. Y/N didn’t feel a trace of shame when Tchaga shot her a knowing, teasing look. She was just happy that he was making quick work of announcing  that the party was over and ushering everyone out of Kylian’s apartment.

No sooner had the apartment emptied and the door slammed behind Tchaga that she climbed his lap. She was able to get one sloppy kiss in before Kylian pulled away breathlessly. “We need to get to my room”

And so he hoisted her up and effortlessly walked them all the way up the stairs and into his bedroom. They kissed fiercely as he gently put her down on his bed. Kylian scrambled out of his sweater as she unbuttoned her shirt. He helped her out of her skirt and then her tights. 

She rolled over and climbed on top of him, finding him as ready as she was. Lustful brown eyes stared openly at her pale pink underwear. “Do you have?” She asked frantically. 

“Yeah, in the drawer”

She leaned sideways, stretching her body to reach the bedside drawer. She found the box pretty easily and grabbed one from it. He was still staring at her hungrily. With shaking hands, she unhooked her bra and took it off.

He kissed her neck, her breasts, her stomach. Her hands caressed his biceps, his chest, his torso. This was years of desire she’d harbored, finally unleashed. His mouth brushed over her lower torso before his fingers deftly removed the last remaining piece of clothing on her body. She unbuckled his belt buckle and removed his jeans and boxers at the same time. His breathing was shallow and rapid as she ripped the foil open and rolled it on him. She lowered herself onto him slowly, and they both gasped. 

They were chest to chest, their hearts drumming together. They moved together in a steady rhythm, watching each other, checking in on each other with their eyes. Is this okay? How about this? And this?

She wanted him closer, deeper. It was never enough. They breathed into each other's mouths, tongues meeting sloppily. Breaking apart, their foreheads met. Their eyes said a million little things at once. Time and space had no meaning anymore for Y/N. There was only Kylian.

* **************

It turned out that if you’d wanted something badly for a very long time, and then you finally got that thing, it didn’t necessarily mean that you'll have enough of that thing. Sometimes, it could leave you wanting more and more. Case in point: Y/N.

They woke up midday with bodies hot and sweaty and limbs tangled together in the sheets. They had laid there for an hour or so, kissing languidly. He somehow already knew what she liked, the moves that made her moan and gasp. 

“I could do this forever” he’d murmured as his lips softly trailed after hers.  But his alarm rang out just then, a stark reminder of real life. They both sighed reluctantly as they pulled away. He had to get up and get ready for his afternoon training. 

She laid there, silently watching him get dressed. She was mesmerized by every movement of his beautiful, lean yet muscular body. Her own personal Adonis. It was a wonder she’d been able to keep her hands off him. He caught her looking at him and smirked, winking at her. She just rolled her eyes.

Once he’d gotten ready and packed his bag, he came over to her on the bed and showered her face with affectionate kisses. “I’ll come back in the evening. Feel free to just chill here.”  He said between kisses on her forehead, lips, cheeks, chin.  “I’ll leave a spare key by the door though”

She nodded happily, giving him one last tender kiss. He stepped out, and she was left to bask in the lingering warmth of his affection. Her mind replayed the memories of the night before, and she felt like the happiest person alive. Now that she got a taste of him, she wanted more of him. As if on cue, her phone pinged with a text. 

Ky: I miss you already 🙁

She giggled, quickly typing out a I miss you tooo before getting up and hopping in the shower. It was only when she got out that she realized she didn’t have a change of clothes, and unless she wanted to walk into her parents apartment dressed the same way she’d left it yesterday, she needed to put on something else. She walked into Kylian’s closet and  grabbed the nearest T-shirt and sweatpants, as well as some slippers. She quickly snapped a mirror pic after changing and sent it to Kylian, typing heading to my parents for a bit.

The reply was almost instant.

Ky: 😍 😍

Ky: don’t forget to grab stuff you need.

She smiled, loving the implication she’d spend the night again. At her parents, she grabbed Kylian’s gift that she’d forgotten to take with her the night before, as well as a change of clothes. She came back to Kylian’s place and answered work emails and completed other miscellaneous tasks concerning her job.

He was back in the early evening, just as promised. The passion of the night before had faded and the afterglow of the morning had subsided, meaning there was nothing to embolden either of them. Thus, they treaded lightly around each other. Their looks were furtive, their touches tentative. Kylian, the least shy person she’d ever met, had somehow turned uncharacteristically quiet. Yet, they were both undeniably giddy. She could see it in the way he broke into an inexplicable smile whenever he caught her eye during dinner, and in the way she was in the best mood she’d been in for a long time. 

This illusion of coyness evaporated as they settled on the couch after dinner, Kylian turning on a tactical video the PSG staff had instructed him to view. The video was on for less than 2 minutes before their focus shifted entirely and they began to make out. 

“You’re too distracting,” he said between kisses as she giggled. 

“Yeah?”

His lips shifted to her neck. “I think kissing you is my favorite thing to do”

He was biting there, sure to leave a mark. 

“Well second favorite” he corrected himself.

She took off her T-shirt and straddled him. He continued, his hands softly gripping her waist “Second place is kissing you. First place is obviously playing football—”

He was momentarily interrupted as she took his own T-shirt off. “—tied with fucking you”

His shit eating grin was the last thing she saw before he flipped her over and sent her sprawling comfortably on the cushions. 

It was unfortunate that they had a game on new year’s eve, but Y/N liked the ambiance at the Parc des Princes. The stadium was buzzing with a special, festive energy for Kylian’s first match after the World Cup final. She was seated in the VIP section along with his parents, brother, and Tchaga and had jumped up and down when Kylian scored the last minute winner. He’d never say it, but she knew he needed that confidence boost. 

In the past week, she’d gotten to know a completely different part of him –  one her lovesick teenage self could only have dreamed of, and that her more cynical young adult self had never thought she’d experience. 

For example, she’d always known that he loved taking care of his loved ones, but she hadn’t spent a single dime during her stay with him. Any purchases she thought of making, he insisted on paying for. He’d even surprised her with a package containing everything from her wishlist after he saw her browsing her favorite store online. His generosity extended to small things like sharing food (which he was notoriously known for disliking), and thoughtful gestures like arranging a work space for her in one of his spare rooms. He endearingly loved using pet names, alternating  between “bébé” and “chérie”, and her heart did somersaults when she heard him use those in everyday conversation. 

She learned intimate details too, thanks to their newfound physical closeness. The birthmark on his lower back that she loved pressing kisses to. How scratching his head would put him to sleep almost instantly. She learned about his preferences as well; he was most definitely an ass man –  it was evident by the way he never passed up a chance to feel her up when they were by themselves.  Now, she committed everything she learned to memory, seeing Kylian in hues she never thought existed. 

The days after his birthday were perfect to her, it felt like she was living a dream. Lucas and Madrid were so far from her mind that it was as if the break up had happened a year ago. The person she’d been pining after for ages seemingly liked her back. She was at her happiest. 

There was one issue that gnawed at her, however. It bothered her that they had never spoken about what they were, or where their relationship was heading. She’d thought that the fact they had slept together was a mutual admission of serious feelings, that they had an unspoken agreement. Yet, the more she thought about it, the more she realized they hadn’t actually talked about it. The first two days or so, she’d been on cloud 9, swept away by the euphoria of it all. But now, as reality set it, it was torturing her. 

A buzz of excitement filled the VIP lounge as a small crowd gathered around the entrance. She suspected it was Kylian and his entourage; he’d promised to come up to the lounge after the game. Sure enough, in walked Kylian’s bodyguards, followed closely by the man of the match himself. 

He made the rounds first, meeting all the important people in the room, taking pictures and making small talk. He finally made his way to his family and friends. He came to Y/N last, and there was an awkward shuffle when he went in for a peck on the lips as a greeting, and Y/N instinctively aimed for his cheek. They laughed it off, and she gave him the kiss he’d wanted. Ethan let out a loud “ew!”, and Y/N flushed, looking at the ground. So far, none of their family and friends had had visible reactions to the recent developments in their relationship. No one had said anything when they’d shown up holding hands at Kylian's family Christmas party a week ago; it was almost like they expected it, as if they believed this was the natural culmination of Y/N and Kylian’s 10+ years long friendship and not an unexpected turn of events. 

“ I have something for you” she murmured after it was just the two of them speaking, indicating a small gift bag she was holding. 

He raised his eyebrows. “Oooh. What’s in there?”

“It's your birthday gift” She said as she handed it to him. “I was supposed to bring it to dinner but I forgot. I brought it to your apartment the next day but it slipped my mind again”

“And here I was thinking my gift was the mind blowing sex” He said grinning. 

She shoved him playfully, rolling her eyes. As he reached to open the bag, her stomach started fluttering. 

Someone slid up to him just then, whispering in his ear.

“ Give me one second, I’ll be back” he said apologetically as he dropped the bag on the nearest table and was whisked away, no doubt to meet some other important person that was there to see him. 

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. The gift was a scrapbook she’d made herself, chronicling their long friendship. She’d hoped it would help open up the conversation about their current situation.

“Fancy a drink?” 

It was one of the waiters, holding a tray of colorful looking drinks. She graciously took one.

“New here? I’m never seen you in the lounge before”

He seemed polite enough. “Uh, yes. I’m here with…my boyfriend” She tested the word on her lips, her eyes on Kylian across the room.

The waiter followed her gaze and snorted. “He has a girlfriend? I’d sooner believe Macron quit the presidency to be a mime”

He blanched as soon as he realized she was serious. “I- I meant-”

“What?”

He looked at the ground. “He just- I see a different model every other week here. They're almost always his guests”

She opened her mouth, but he beat her to it. “Look, just forget I said anything. It’s not my place.” He looked at her pleadingly. “Please don’t get me fired”

He scurried off before she could say anything. 

She glanced at her gift bag, left forgotten on the table. He was now taking pictures with a group of older people. Her eyes started to well up, and she walked out of the room. She kept going until she found herself outside, ordering an Uber. She sent him a text as she got in the car:

Y/N: going home to deal with some stuff, think I’ll spend the night there

She closed her eyes, tears now sliding down her cheeks.

She barely slept that night, spending hours on her phone looking up the many women Kylian had been linked with. She went through their instagrams, her mind treacherously comparing each one to herself, as if she could measure her worth against their curated, seemingly perfect lives. She came across photos of Kylian on yachts, laughing with bikini-clad blondes. The comments on the photos only twisted the knife deeper – some criticized him as a “playboy” , while others mocked him with a dismissive “typical footballer”.  Each photo was like a dagger to her heart.

But it was the final blow that left her breathless: blurry photos of Kylian leaving a club with a girl, taken just a month ago, in November. It was that recent. It all made sense now,  why he’d never made an effort to have a serious conversation about their relationship. He liked his current lifestyle, focusing completely on football while indulging in a fleeting series of flings from time to time. She was nothing special, just another name on the long list of women he entertained. 

What shattered her the most was that he had no consideration for their friendship, that he could throw it away just like that for some sex. He had traded something she deeply cherished for something else he considered transient, meaningless. 

By the time dawn broke and the first light filtered through her curtains, she was resolute. Dragging herself out of bed, she made her way to the kitchen and was shocked to find her parents sitting and laughing with Kylian. 

His face brightened as soon as he saw her. “Morning chérie” he greeted, the pet name failing to make her stomach flutter this time.

“Dropped by to check on you” he continued. “You weren’t answering my texts”

It was intentional, of course. Seeing the tired look on her face, her parents moved out of the kitchen to give them privacy. She sat down beside him slowly, and his face twisted into concern. 

“Is everything ok?” He went to grab her hand but she snatched it away quickly. She didn’t miss the hurt look on his face.

“I- uh. I’m ok” She didn’t know how to approach the conversation. “Did you finally open my gift?”

"What? Your gi- oh. Yeah. I did”  She could clearly see through the lie.

“Kylian” She warned, her tone sharp.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking guilty. “I’m sorry, I completely forgot. But it still has to be there though, no one will take it”

“What the fuck, Kylian?” her voice rose, frustration spilling over. “You didn’t even take it home with you?”

He frantically reached for his phone. “I’ll call and get someone at the club to look for it. I’ll get it back, I promise”

She snatched the phone out of his hand, her eyes blazing  “I spent a lot of time on it. I can’t believe you did that, it's like you don’t even care”

He looked at her earnestly. “You know I care, I care about you a lot”

“Is that what you say to every girl you sleep with?” She couldn’t help it.

“What?” He looked at her incredulously. “ No. This is different. You’ve always been different”

“I find that hard to believe, Kylian” She muttered, her voice quivering.

“Why?” He challenged her, his confusion mingled with frustration. “Why would you think that?”

“Because” her tears spilled over “You’ve been uncommitted forever”

“Well maybe that’s because the one person I would’ve liked to be committed to was in another country, wasting her time on some asshole” 

“Then why not now?” She spoke through tears. “I’ve been sleeping in your bed for a while now, Ky.”

“I was trying to give you time” His voice shook. “You broke up with that idiot literally 3 days before we hooked up. I  thought you weren’t ready”

He looked at her pleadingly, his eyes desperate. 

“I don’t know, Kylian” She laughed bitterly. “you said it yourself, don’t trust athletes”

She saw a tear falling down his cheek, and she was struck by the sight. She never thought the second time she’d see him cry, it would be because of her.

She weighed the possibility of making it work – a long distance relationship, with her in Madrid and him in Paris. They’d see each other infrequently, her being tied to Madrid with work and him to Paris by the relentless demands of football. They’d miss birthdays, anniversaries. She’d never be able to take him to an office Christmas party. Maybe she’d be able to go with him to things that mattered to him, like award ceremonies, but only because his career would take precedence over hers. She’d hear whispers about his potential infidelities, but she wouldn’t say anything. Until the resentment feels so suffocating it bubbles up, and she’d have no choice but to end it. It would happen, whether months away or years down the line. And then they’d have to cut each other off forever.  She didn’t want that. She loved him too much. She’d rather have some of him than nothing at all. Perhaps if she ended it now, their friendship could be salvaged. 

She couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kylian. I don’t think… I don’t think we should do this anymore”

They sat there silently for a few seconds. Then she heard a sniffle, and then the sound of his chair  scraping as he got up. She heard footsteps retreating, and then the sound of the apartment door open and slam shut. Only then did she let herself fall apart.

Her mother hurried into the room, looking very alarmed. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Maman” she choked out between sobs. “I need to book a flight back to Madrid”

[steodraws]

Snowfall(ing in love) 🎄

bada x fem reader

disclaimers: short fluff fic just for christmas! please keep in mind that im not a native english speaker, thank you. enjoy! ❤️

Summary: "Sorry, love, i won't be able to spend Christmas with you" are the words you read on your phone from Bada. Your girlfriend mentioned she won't be able to spend Christmas with you, leaving you quite disappointed. After all, it isn't just Christmas; it's your 3-year anniversary together. Frustrating, right? Unless...

WC: 1.2k

"What?!" A high-pitched gasp echoes through the diner.

"Lusher, chill," i utter, covering my ears in response to the shout while attempting to ease my own frustration.

"What do you mean... she won't be here for Christmas night? I mean... She didn't even spend the day with you today" Minah inquires, assertive. It's like everyone got hit by the message i just read.

Bada and i have been together as a couple for 3 years, and through her, i got to know Lusher, Minah, and Sowoen; they've become my close friends since then.

We decided to come to a small diner before diving into the preparations for the upcoming festivities; the year flew by, and today is already December 25th. It feels like time zoomed in a flash.

I was looking forward to this Christmas, as today is the anniversary of my relationship with Bada as well. The issue is that she just messaged saying she can't make it.

Ugh, I'm really frustrated. I mean, i get it—I'm trying to be understanding, especially with her crazy & packed schedule over the past few months. But, come on, it's such a special date and she hasn't even seen me today...

I attempt to shake off the disappointment, taking a deep breath as i glance around at the faces of my friends, each wearing a mix of concern and sympathy.

"Maybe there's a reason she can't make it," Sowoen suggests, trying to ease the tension in the air.

I nod, appreciating the attempt to find a silver lining. "Yeah, she's been swamped with work lately."

Minah raises an eyebrow, "But Christmas, of all days?"

I sigh, realizing the weight of the situation. "I know, it's just... it's our anniversary too."

Lusher, who has been visibly on edge, finally speaks up, "Look, we're here for you. Maybe she's just really busy after all."

I force a small smile, touched by their support. "Yeah, maybe..."

Finishing my drink, i glance at the clock; it's nearly 8 in the evening. Christmas is almost over.

"Well, i must go now; thanks for the company, ladies!" I flash a smile as i stand to hug everyone.

"Already? Hang out a bit more. You can join us for the rest of Christmas if you want!" Sowoen suggests in her sweet and eloquent voice.

"No need! Enjoy it, and tell me what you got as presents later!" I warmly reply.

"If you need anything, hit us up," Lusher affirms while giving me a tight hug.

I give a final wave and leave the establishment; grabbing my keys from the bag, i open the car to head home.

With the snow starting to fall, the road becomes increasingly tricky to navigate. However, it's not a big deal, as i manage to reach my home safely.

Still disappointed about spending this important date alone, i enter the building's elevator, heading to the floor of my apartment. Upon arriving in front of the door, i spot a note.

"Knock on the door 3 times and close your eyes! :)"

"What the...?" I mutter to myself. Had my friends prepared something? Nonetheless, i decided to follow the instructions.

"Knock, knock, knock"

Three knocks on the door, and i keep my eyes shut, waiting for what will happen next.

I can feel the door opening accompanied by a faint, familiar laughter.

"Open your eyes~"

Upon finally opening my eyes, the first sight before me is Bada, with a mischievous smile and an expression of "I fooled you good" emanating from her face. She's grinning, her medium-length hair adorned with pink highlights and small braids. My girlfriend hadn't forgotten our anniversary, after all.

"Bada...? But..." i stammer, slightly perplexed, directing my gaze towards the decoration.

It's as if i stepped into a massive Christmas-themed store; a huge tree, meticulously decorated and lit up, stands out in the corner of the room. Lights and twinkling decorations everywhere, thoughtfully arranged. Paper hearts and garlands adorn the walls, accompanied by lovely post-its stuck with the message "Our 3-year anniversary." The dining table, beautifully set, occupies the center.

A carefully selectedd playlist fills the room with a variety of songs, from "Understand - Keshi" to "double take - dhruv."

Honestly, i'm mesmerized by everything, unsure whether to admire the decoration or Bada. I am on the verge of tears; i truly didn't expect all of this.

"Merry Christmas and happy anniversary to us, my love." Bada wraps me in her long arms while planting small kisses on my cheeks and nose.

We linger in the embrace for a few seconds; her hug is so comforting, i wish i could stay in it forever.

"Did you like the surprise, sweetheart?" she asks casually, holding my hand while pointing to the post-its and other messages.

"Of course! But hey, you didn't have to fool me like that... I was hurt!" I playfully punch her shoulder, and she just laughs, as it probably didn't make much impact; after all, I'm not one of the strongest.

"But it was worth it, wasn't it? Lusher, Minah, and Sowoen helped me organize everything."

"They're in on this? Oh, I'll end those girls the next time i see them," i say, jokingly, surprised by the revelation. I really thought they weren't part of this.

"Hey, they made all of this possible ~ without them, it would have been dull," she says, still laughing at the situation. "Let's eat; i prepared everything especially for you."

She gives a swift kiss upon my lips before arranging the table. Bada had meticulously prepared various dishes, and from a distance, i could spot a cake that seemed to be green tea-flavored.

"It looks delicious!" I exclaim, my mouth watering.

"Before we eat, i wanted to give you this," she gazes at me intently and pulls a medium-sized box from her pocket. "You can open it."

"What is it?" I inquire, fixing my eyes at the present, opening it.

Inside, i find a beautiful necklace with a small diamond pendant, accompanied by a polaroid photo of us from our last Christmas/New Year's trip.

I love you, truly. You mean everything to me, love. I am the happiest person in the world when you're right next to me. Christmas after Christmas, year after year, we'll be together. The youngest days of my life are when I'm with you," she confesses genuinely, and i truly feel that every word she utters is sincere.

Once again, tears stream down my cheeks. I am at a loss for words. My veins feel like they might burst from sheer happiness. I feel so grateful to have someone so kind by my side.

"Bada... I don't know what to say... I really love you so much," i articulate, my voice choked and trembling, admiring everything she has done for me not just today, but throughout these three years we've been together.

"Hey, don't cry," she rises up and rushes to hug me once again, that warm sensation returning. She caresses my neck with one hand while gently wiping away my tears with the other.

Outside, snow is falling; i can hear some neighbors enthusiastically wishing Merry Christmas as the day seems to end, and fireworks are lighting up the whole sky.

"Season after season, i shall be here for you. Merry Christmas, my lovely princess," Bada whispers in my ear, and our lips meet gently—a tender and soft kiss filled with affection on that festive Christmas night.

[🎄] thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked this christmas special. merry x-mas and stay safe everyone <3 kisses from ste~

[misc-obeyme]

"Tell me the truth." (sfw) For Solomon, in lieu of the 1k event? Glad to see your blog grow, I hope it only continues to grow even bigger in the coming future and you continue to enjoy what you love! You have a great talent for writing and I hope you enjoy these days joyously <3

Hello, anon! Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this sweet message! I am truly enjoying myself and I'm so happy to know that others are enjoying my writing as well!

Okay, listen. This one... I kinda got carried away. I really love Solomon and I think about him a lot, but especially what it must be like to be immortal. So this one kinda ended up being about that. I made myself incredibly sad writing and editing it, though. So be prepared for that, I suppose. I think it turned out good for all that, but just be prepared for ~feelings~!

Thank you for participating!

1,000 Followers Event!

GN!MC x Solomon with prompt "Tell me the truth."

Warnings: Angst. Like I kinda think this one's sad all the way through, even though things are good between Solomon and MC.

Experience will always alter the perception of time. Life can seem to slowly crawl by, long days and longer nights, alone and empty without anything but dreams. It might also rush past, a frantic whirlwind of activity, barely a moment to breathe let alone think. It is a constant ebb and flow, the continual flux of the present and the past, a liquid temperament that causes life to shape and reshape itself like quicksilver.

Solomon had been alive for a long time before you ever made an appearance. His understanding of time was vastly different from any human with a normal life span. He couldn’t possibly remember what it was like to know his own mortality, that he had a finite number of years, that he would eventually meet his end. He couldn’t remember that feeling because it simply wasn’t true for him anymore.

He had times when things ran by, when the days careened past like a runaway train car. They were more likely to creep through his consciousness, though, especially when he was lonely, which was often.

That was why he noticed immediately how his own experience changed after you showed up. At first, it was nothing. You were always busy and he didn’t exactly spend a lot of time with you. But then he found himself more involved, starting with the danger that almost destroyed the three worlds, that almost ended your life. After that he was more aware of you, choosing to watch you from afar. The occupation of it caused time to move by just a little quicker than it used to.

And then you became his apprentice and he found himself spending even more time with you. Every moment seemed important now. He treasured every second he spent by your side, hating the way they tumbled like sand through his fingers while he was powerless to stop them or slow them down.

Solomon had plenty of time, but you didn’t.

He was aware of mortality in a way he hadn’t been since before he became immortal - aware of your mortality.

So of course he noticed when you started spending more time at Purgatory Hall than you normally did. He was hyper aware of every scrap of time he was able to spend with you. Your increased presence was more than obvious to him. It wasn’t just that you were around more, either. He saw it in the way you lingered longer, the way you suddenly chose to walk home with him, the way you asked him about spells that he knew you had already mastered, as if you needed to hear his voice even if it was just to explain something you already knew.

Solomon noticed how you called him more frequently, too. It became a nightly ritual. One day you called after dinner, saying you just felt like talking to him. And then you did it again the next day and the day after that. Solomon began to anticipate your calls. And if you couldn't call, you would text him.

Solomon clung to every word. Everything you said or wrote to him, every time he found you waiting for him, every time he saw your smile. He knew that you had obligations, loyalties to the demon brothers that he wouldn’t be able to penetrate. But even more than that he knew that you simply had a limit on time. And he cherished everything, locking away the memories of you for the inevitable future when they would be all he had left.

Night in the Devildom was dark, despite the stars and the occasional full moon. Existing in this darkness was something he had gotten used to. It was late, but Solomon had insisted on walking you back to the House of Lamentation. Once again you had spent more time at Purgatory Hall than you should have, giving excuse after excuse about why you needed to stay longer, just one more question about magic, a recipe you wanted to share with Luke, a book Satan wanted you to give Simeon. It was like you collected these little things so you could use them to your advantage when you seemed unwilling to go home.

It had been going on for quite some time and Solomon had been content to let it.

But there was something about walking with you in the dark of this Devildom night that caused his heart to stir. You likely couldn’t see much other than his silhouette and to him you were like a shadow, a living breathing shadow walking beside him, but one he couldn’t read. And there was something safe about this state of partial invisibility.

“You really didn’t want to go home tonight, did you?” Solomon asked, keeping his tone light.

You laughed softly. “Yeah, I guess not.”

“That seems to have been happening a lot lately,” Solomon said. “Is everything all right?”

Solomon felt you shift beside him in the darkness as the two of you walked slowly toward the House of Lamentation. As though you had a slight misstep.

“Everything’s fine,” you said, but the tone of your voice indicated that this was a lie.

Solomon stopped walking. After a few more steps you realized he had stopped and turned to look at him. He couldn’t see your expression in the dark.

“MC,” he said. “You can trust me. Tell me the truth.”

Solomon watched as you looked down at your hands, seemingly unable to meet his eyes even though you could barely see them. Your reluctance to speak made him realize he wanted - needed - to see you clearly.

Solomon took your hand and gently pulled you into the light of a nearby street lamp. Your face became fully visible to him and the fear in your eyes stabbed through his heart.

He took your other hand and held them both close. “It’s okay, MC,” he said. “Whatever is going on, I promise I’ll do whatever I can to help you. You’re safe with me.”

The way this made you frown hard, as though you might be fighting back your emotions, made Solomon want to pull you into his embrace, but he waited. Waited to see what you would say, if you would confide in him.

A soft wind kicked up, rustling your hair and clothes, tossing the edges of Solomon’s silver hair into his eyes. He kept his gaze on you, waiting.

Solomon had a lot of time, but you did not. He could wait forever if he had to, but you didn’t have that kind of luxury. He couldn’t begrudge you some moments of reflection, a brief amount of seconds to consider your response, but he knew you couldn’t really know how precious each one of those seconds was to him.

You moved finally, squeezing his hands before looking down at them. He watched the blush that painted your face as you quietly said, “I just want to be with you. I’m happiest when I’m by your side, so I find it hard to leave.”

Solomon felt like his chest was rupturing, filled with a force of feeling he could never hope to articulate. He closed his eyes and pulled you into his arms, unable to resist holding you. “This is what you were afraid to tell me?”

You gripped him hard, pressing your face into his shoulder. “I thought…” but you seemed unable to say what you thought.

Solomon leaned back and made you look at him. “You thought I wouldn’t want you? That I wasn’t already completely lost to you? That I don’t measure the minutes you’re with me like the precious commodity they are? MC, all I could ever want is to be with you.”

Solomon watched the tears brimming in your eyes. He reached out to brush away the one that fell down your cheek.

Solomon moved in and you met him halfway and the feeling of your lips against his was so soft and sweet he almost started crying, too.

Time would inevitably take you away from him. Solomon knew that. And yet for once he was willing to deal with that grief when it happened if it meant he could spend what precious years you had making you as happy as he possibly could. The memory of your face might fade from his mind, but the strength of your love would never fade from his heart. He could hold you there for the rest of eternity, keeping him company through long nights when he would find himself alone and missing you.

For now, Solomon would hold you and kiss you and spend every minute he possibly could in your presence. He would celebrate your life for the fleeting thing it was because despite its brevity, it had forever changed his own endless existence. And in this way, held forever in Solomon’s memory and heart, you would become immortal, too.

1,000 Followers Event | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[live-from-flaturn]

Oh my god there was only one bed, monster under it edition

Ohhhhhh boy. Buckle up. You've unleashed the beast (me). It starts emo and gets cute and then gets weird?

*these are not being proof read, this is a writing exercise. If you see any mistakes... No you didn't. <3

---

A shaky 13-year-old Kim flops into bed after an endless day of brutal martial arts training. His body aches, the result of hour spent working with his Father's most loyal, talented bodyguards. A handful of black-and-purple bruises have already bloomed across his ribs and down both legs. An ache settled deep in his muscles shortly after their minimalistic lunch and hadn't budged since.

In short, he doesn't have the energy to get up again and shower before passing out. All Kim can manage is a weary groan, momentarily alarmed by the brief hallucination of glowing green eyes that dance in his vision before dark exhaustion drags him under.

He dreams of soft, pale hands cooling his fevered skin and wakes to find the worst of his bruises nearly healed.

-

Three weeks after turning 16, Kim moves out. He's tired of his Father's lying, domineering, manipulative ways. Sure, moving out doesn't exempt him from experiencing those things on ocassion, but it takes him out of Korn's direct line of fire.

He can lick his wounds in peace. Unsurveilled because he's picked the entire place apart five times and found nothing. The first night still feels impossible, though. He paces the apartment from one end to the other until his muscles give out and he collapses beside the bed. Forehead pressed to the cool wooden floor.

He dreams of those strange, pale hands again. When Kim wakes this time, he's on the bed and two large hand-prints mar the comforter to either side of Kim's face - as though someone (or something) tucked him in last night.

Unsure how else to respond but not one to neglect a kindness paid, Kim offers an awkward "Thank you" before hurrying to get dressed.

-

Kim comes home, slams his door shut, and flings his guitar case into the closet. He throws his jacket on the floor and falls into the mattress with a scream. Fists pound down across the pillows and white-hot tears of shame pour from his eyes.

He can't believe Korn paid the judges to humiliate him live on television. What an idiot he'd been to think an opportunity like that was meant in earnest - a chance to sing his first original single and it had been a sham.

"Why?!" he sobs. "Why couldn't I have had a normal family."

Eventually Kim cries himself to sleep. The morning comes without a single trace of sticky tears or tacky slept-in makeup. His face is clean and all his clothes are put away. After his shower, a message that should scare him shows up in the steam: "You have a great voice, Kim."

This time it comes out confident and strong: "Thank you."

-

When Kim is 21 he passes out from bloodloss with his fingers barely past the limit of his bedroom door.

"Thank goodness you fell within my boundary!" The unfamiliar voice is musical and sweet. "That means I can help!"

The hands - pale hands. So cold wherever they touch.

Those eyes glow above him. Beacons in the darkness as he bleeds sluggishly into cupped palms. A sharp smile turns comiserating. Apologetic. "This is going to hurt a little, P'Kim..."

-

Kim is nearly 250 now, as he tangles his fingers with those of a familiar hand.

"How did you sleep?" Chay asks, pressing a kiss to his husband's cheek.

"Very well, and you?"

"Splendidly. Now, shall we tend to our charge?"

"Of course, darling. We can't all be unconventional and fall in love with them, can we?"

Chay rolls his eyes and slides from beneath the bedframe, hiss already brewing low in his throat. Kim follows after, as he will in every lifetime.

[cafesweetvn]

BEFORE YOU CONTINUE

Café Sweet contains sensitive topics such as, stalking, kidnapping, murdering, heavy manipulation, scary imagery(Blood, eyes, body horror), cannibalism, mentions of sa, police and swearing. DO NOT continue if these topics may trigger you.

Café Sweet is a visual novel where you work at a lovely café with your two coworkers that you've gotten extremely close to over these past few months. However, it seems you're cozy town has lost it's safety as there have been multiple disappearances, with only a few bodies being discovered dead.

FAQ

If I make "Café Sweet" content, can I tag you in it?- Yup! I would LOVE to be tagged in any fan content! It makes me so happy and overjoyed to see people making stuff for Café Sweet. I'm happy that others are interested in my stories and characters.

Are we allowed to send asks interacting with the Li's? - Yeah! I think it would also help me write the characters better for when I write their routes.

CHARACTERS

Artemis: Your extremely strict manager. Despite how he comes across he does care about you(as well as Sanka and Hyun-ae), truth be told he wants to protect you, from what, who knows(I do)? Will you take the time to get to know him?

Sanka: Your coworker! He's extremely extraverted and friendly to you and Hyun-ae, you three forming your own little trio. Sanka likes to look out for you and Hyun-ae, wanting to make sure you two get home safe, putting up a strong front. He loves being reliable <3

Hyun-ae: Your coworker! She's a lot more chill then Sanka. She would rather just follow whatever kind of mischief you and Sanka come up with and decide to do then decide to make any plans herself. She ADORES gossip and knowing everything ever. Despite her grunge appearance, she's a bit of a nerd!

Davi: A customer turned into a regular. Hyun-ae is convinced that Davi might have something to do with the disappearances, and even more so that he's been stalking you. Is he really creepy like Hyun-ae thinks he is?

Valeria: One of your childhood friends who moved away years ago. Thankfully, you two have always kept in touch with each other. It seems she's grown up to be an influencer. You wish to see her again in person, who knows, maybe she'll visit you soon~

Imani: Another one of your childhood friends! Thankfully, Imani never moved away and you two are still in contact. She's very shy and you're one of her only friends. She wishes to tell you how grateful she is to have you in her life still.

Fritz: Your final childhood friend! Works at a vet and adores animals, He's always so gentle and sweet towards animals and humans alike. They're so happy that you've stuck by their side after all these years and with the recent murders, they've been so worried about you and your mutual friends.

Archie: Your boss! You've never met him before, and it seems that neither Sanka nor Hyun-ae have either. Archie mainly leaves everything to Artemis while he goes out and does his own business. However, do NOT ask Artemis ANY question about Archie.

TAGS

#☕️-Cafe Sweet

#💌-fan content

#🔞-minors dni

#🎤-Asks

#👓-Artemis

#☀️-Sanka

#📱-Hyun-ae

#🛠️-Davi

#🪞-Valeria

#🍓-Imani

#🐈-Fritz

#💰-Archie

#🔪-Killer

DNI/RULES

Proshippers, bigots, generally creepy and shitty people don't interact with me or any of my games

Ageless in bio(either put your age/birthday in your bio, or you can send me a message telling me your age, if none of those I’ll block you)

That said I'll also be blocking blank tumblrs

I won’t be writing any gross out kink or anything like that.

If you’re a minor please don’t interact with my content that is 18+, especially since the base content won’t be 18+ so you can still get content.

Due to certain topics in this game, 16+ only

Please be patient with me, thank you!

I’m happy to take criticism on anything and will take it into consideration. What I won’t listen to is any hate comments without criticism, I’ll just block you.

If you're going to send in an NSFW ask, please turn off anon, otherwise I'm not gonna respond to it or I'll make it SFW, thank you!

RULE POST

More might be added/changed to most sections as I develop this blog

EXTRA LINKS/INFO

This is a side account so any other interaction will come from @starswirlfoxgames

I have a Twitter that will be STRICTLY 18+: https://twitter.com/Starsw1rlF0x

Ask box is always gonna be open unless I say otherwise so feel free to spam me with asks!

I'm probably not going to continue posting asks in order, just gonna post em when I finish them. Sorry if you asked me something and it's taking a while, I may be struggling with ideas or motivation.

I won't be having a schedule anymore to avoid burnout and stress. I also won't be using the queue feature anymore since I heard that it can delete posts.

I will try to post Dev logs weekly or every other week!

Masterlist 1

Asks: 0

[sterkeyra]

Happy Birthday Tsugaru! (2023)

Another year has passed and Voltage organized yet another great birthday party for our sweet boy.

Throughout the day I got LINE messages, saw pictures of fans celebrating, sweet fanart, he got a new VIP event with the sweetest of stories and then this bonus story got released on top of it!

It might have even become one of my absolute favorite stories of Tsugaru. It had everything I wished for a while now, a deep dive into his thoughts, revealing his dark thoughts to MC, a glimpse into his past, the wholesome care that the Shiroganes wish for him and just absolute funny fluffiness to close up the story.

I am so SO very happy that I got to follow his story for the last 3 years, as his character development has been top notch. The arc of Little Hare and the apple is just so sweet, it's exactly what Tsugaru needs to heal.

His closest friends and family are everything. They noticed the real Tsugaru even though he tries to keep his dark thoughts hidden. Tsugaru was so lost in the spiral of darkness and had no purpose in life, that he did not notice all the gems around him. Or rather he recognized them, but they were too good and he tried to keep his distance.

Over the last stories his eyes were opened and he found the courage to reach out to his own happiness and is more honest about it. And it's just so sweet because everyone is so supportive. I was amazed in the last story that Momo even lashed out against him, when he lost himself in his sillyness.

It was a blast to follow Tsugaru on his journey so far, and if this bonus story is an indicator what we could expect for the upcoming story, I'm hooked already! Maybe we even get to the unopened letter this time!

Anyways I know that your birthday is the day you curse the most, but I wholeheartedly want to celebrate with you.

This year and for many more years to come, your Little Hare looks forward to take your hand during sunsets and to stargaze together until the middle of the night. Thank you for having been born. You truly have become a light in my life as well.

Happy Birthday!

[otomiyaa]

Re: 💌

Finally getting to respond to those who were so kind to me in messages, comments, and reblogs in the past week! @otomiya-tickles was a blog with mainly tickle fics, but you guys definitely made it feel like there was more to it :)

I piled all my answers into one big post and will treasure them for as long as Tumblr decides to keep me online this time 🤭

@lovelymessybubbly: Ahhh I remember sending that ask long ago and always wondered if you received it. I still think the timing (of my leave and your return) is ridiculous hehehe, but I'm also glad to stick around and to see you back! I hope the hiatus has been good^^

-

@dokidoki-muffin: absolutely honored to have inspired you and not only that, I think you're a great friend and I love our chats and our recent collab had me filled with joy^^ !! 🧁

-

@fluffandgiggles: I love your blog, the fics you write and the fandoms you choose and your kind personality, I'm glad you got to go from anon to your own blog and hope you can have fun with it for as long as you like to!

@skayleay: Sending love back to you, thank youu*w*

@beth-bethar00: Thank you 🥺

@tiredleekaz: Your message made me giggle hehe thank you for the support for the x amount of years, I also realized how easy it is to lose count when I think of all my different 'tumblr eras' ��

@lilliee0: Sorry you had to find out this way hehe, and thank you! My account is in a good place *dramatic music plays* (no it's actually not lmao)

@rachi-roo: The Real OG 😳 I'm not sure I can accept that compliment but I thank you for it!! :3

@blobbirobbi: Sending love right back, also your tickle stories are always welcome hohoho

Anon #1: Heheh right! I know I"ve once said that even if I would quit my blog, I would never deactivate voluntarily (and definitely not without announcement) so it would have to be Tumblr to take care of that. To think that actually happened :). Hope you have a lovely day too!

Anon #2: Ahh I'm glad I could help introducing you to the tk community! Thank you for enjoying my fics, all the best to you too!^^

@infrequent-creator: Don't miss me yet, I won't be gone entirely :) I'll be here, and I'll be loud. Just my fic production will come to an indefinite stop, or break. Who knows.

@yourgigglebugmaya: Ahhh that flatters me! Thank you so much^^

@shyanon01: Thank you for the sweet message!

@hakurei-k: Hahaha! Well I'm still here too and ready to adore Solomon together.

@dirtpie39: I had to google that lololol ('sike'). Thank you for re-following^^

-

-

@sunstone-smiles: T-T thank you a lot!!

@moongeonight: 4 years ago!! ahhh I'm happy to hear it and hope you're still having fun! :D

-

-

@shy-lee-chu: Love you sweetie, I won't write many new fics so hope you won't be bored by me ;)

@eliankrios: Elian, I'm definitely okay thank you! I'll be mainly here to eat up the content you post ^^

-

@flames-tstuff: I DON'T DESERVE YOU! ❤️❤️ Hehe answering all these messages to me feels like an entire ceremony already 🙈 And thank youuu, those 13k posts and 7k followers were from a total of 7 years of active fic writing on Tumblr though for a ton of various fandoms, I don't deserve too much credit for it ^^

-

-

@kusuguricafe: Thank you for staying with me too 😘

@crazy-as-a-jaybird: *hug* thank youuuu T-T

-

-

@ticklystuff: Thank you so much, will do!! I am reviving my animal crossing island (inspired by you and sezzie🤭)

@fantasizes-tickles-daily: I read about so many heartattacks and feel so sorry hehe, thank you for finding me again and for supporting my new one!^^ I can't believe I even considered not making a new blog. Your blog alone gives me the serotonin I need.

-

-

@intheticklecloset: Thank you for the kind words and support!! T-T I look forward to enjoying the community from the sideline hehe:)

@ppystkposts: All these from anon to blogger stories make me kick my feet in delight! It's a chain reaction, I'm sure you will inspire others to start their blog as well. Your art and kindness most surely will do that^^ thank you for the support!

-

-

@giggly-squiggily: waaa that's so sweet, thank youuuu!*0* I'll remember it!^^

@fanfic-chan: Ahhhh thank youu:D I used to call my blog my happy place and am more than happy to turn this one into that as well. Thank you for your message!

-

-

@tickle-panile, @kiwithelee, @ticklish-sidekick, @mai-mei thank you for your concern*w*!

Special thanks to @lovelynim and @wertzunge for their instant share of my update, to @ticklygiggles for dealing with the questions about my absence, even the nasty ones. Sigh, I don't like they were rude to you! ah and also, it was Mia's message I woke up to when my blog was gone x) Never forget.

....and also ofc special speciaaaaal thanks to everyone else who reached out in DMs (I hope I answered you by now but will check soon), and to my dear friends on discord 😘

even though tumblr makes it look like my blog never existed, my evil spirit will live on and I'll keep being annoying 🤣

-

-

-

If I forgot anyone's message I deeply apologize ToT !!!!

[xluciifer]

Loving anon here to say that I adore you Luci and your Lucifer. You do the best you can for everyone and I know that must be hard with raising a kid on the side, and I can see the love you've put into your portrayal of Lucifer as well. We don't talk all the time but it doesn't take away the fact that I still see you as a friend and a wholehearted person who loves spreading love and does the best she can to make everyone feel welcomed, even though you don't have to! Be kind to yourself, your true friends will always understand if you can't always talk to them or write with them. I always love seeing you on my dash and getting sweet messages from you. <3 We're only human and I love your presence in this rpc, it wouldn't be the same without you here.

Okay, I know that I say to some messages that I'm crying or sobbing but legitimately this time, this actually made me cry. Things have been so tough for me the past month and a half. Maintaining conversations or always being the first to reach out has been extremely hard for me recently, not because anyone's done anything wrong but a lot mentally has been riding in my mind. And usually to try coping with that, I send loving messages out to remind others who may also be in the same mindset too that they're loved and appreciated and thought of, even if I don't per say talk to them all the time. And Tumblr mobile sucks ass so I always worry if people aren't showing up in my "following" tab when I spend like an hour trying to send messages out. But this message? I really needed to hear it. It feels really good that even if I've been feeling down on myself that people still think kindly of me and remember that I am a human behind the facade of Lucifer and that I'm Trying, it's nice to be reminded that I deserve love too and that my presence and love is appreciated here. ❤️ I just wanted this rpc to be somewhere people felt welcomed and comfortable because a lot of fandoms in the years I've been in rpc haven't exactly been as such. I still do the damnest I can and even for those who may not be around anymore, I still think of them, miss them and wish them the best. So thank you again, I love this fandom dearly and everyone in it. 🥺🥺❤️

[cyborg-franky]

Hello! I heard you're taking care of a small little fluff ball so don't feel pressured to taking this in! I was wondering if you could please do prompt 6 or 29 for Ace? Thank you! I'm grateful for whatever you write! Have a good day and take care, also say hello to the flluff ball for me!

This is such an old message, oops. Louie is okay! we adopted him brothers but they did not get on and they had a little fight. He is still okay but next payday we need to find him little brothers because the others were his age and they just didn't click. I will give him a big kiss and a hello from you though <3

In the future I need to have two chars to choose from but I am a sucker for Ace so.

Ace x GN Reader SFW Modern AU Prompt: going to a fair and playing games and going on the Ferris wheel Word Count: 962

The fair was in town and Ace wanted to go, he gave you this whole speech about how he and his brothers used to go every year but now they’d moved out of town with their respective partners. You were going to suggest going anyway but you still liked to see how passionate Ace got about things and let him barter with you about the trip.

“Yeah sure, we can go tonight?” You suggested and smiled when his face lit up, the grin that appeared on his handsome freckled face when he jumped up on the couch and pulled you into a hug, your face squished against his chest as he assured you it’ll be fun.

–

The music was loud but not unbearable, the night sky was the perfect backdrop to all the glittering bright lights of the fair. Smells of cotton candy and hot dogs filled the air as you walked past the food trucks. Ace held your hand and led you around the fairground, telling you that it never changed, it was like this every year.

Chilly Autumn air nipped at your nose and you could see your breath as you responded to him each time he asked you something, how he wanted your input, trying to keep his own brimming excitement at bay.

You were impressed Ace was able to keep himself under control, you were sure he would have rushed off in every direction. You both got a hot drink from one of the vendors, wanting something to warm your hands as you walked around, admiring all the stalls, games and rides set up.

Hearing happy screams as you heard the roar of a small coaster behind you, seeing Ace’s attention follow the cart on the tracks, watching the way it twisted and turned with a gleam in his eyes, knowing that would be on his list tonight.

“Hey, look at those plushies, they're really cute.” You said and pointed to a fair game, all the toys lined up around the walls as you walked closer, a big table with a large pool in the centre, bobbing along the water were bright yellow rubber ducks of varying sizes with metal hooks peeking out the top.

“Want me to try to get you one?” He asked and peered at the rules, something about each duck having a coloured dot on its bottom correlating to the prizes stacked up.

“That’s sweet but I think I can handle a game of luck.” You said with a wink and put your money on the side for the game owner.

You were both given a rod with a little metal hoop at the end, designed for grasping at the hooks on the ducks. You looked at each duck’s smiling face and wondered if the ones with smaller hooks would have better prizes, you watched as Ace just went for it, going for the biggest duck and the biggest hook. Going for the easy option.

Lifting your chosen duck you saw the owner pick your duck off the end of the pole grabbing Ace’s as he did so. You waited, feeling giddy about the prize as the man nodded and pulled off a tiny rubber duck keychain and passed it to Ace.

Ace seemed to deflate at the small prize but shrugged it off, quickly attaching it to the wallet chain that dangled from his jeans, looking pleased with himself nonetheless. You watched as the man grabbed the plush you were eying up and handed it to you.

“Hey, well-done babe!” Ace grinned and put his arm around your shoulders as you held the plushie tight to your chest with the biggest smile on your face, already coming up with an array of silly names for the cuddly toy.

–

Some fairground food later you and Ace found a few more games, he was pretty good at the coconut game, hurling cricket balls at them and knocking the coconuts from their posts. Winning you another toy which was nice, you felt loved when he handed you the toy, something romantic about being won a prize at the fair.

You both went on a few rides together, the waltzers, the bumper cars which he was a little shit with, always chasing you, but it was still a lot of fun and your cheeks hurt from how much you were grinning.

“Hey, this place closes soon, what you wanna go on?” Ace asked, your hand in his as you clutched your stuffed toys under your arm.

“Ah, that?” You pointed to the large Ferris wheel with the assortment of coloured lights covering it. You wondered what the fairground would look like from here, getting to see all the rides and bright colours.

“Alright then, let's do it!”

The ride was a little shaky as each cup got to a certain position and paused, letting someone else on but as the wheel rose to the top you got to see everything. You took a breath, you’d been right, this was nice and you felt Ace shuffle closer to you, his arms around you as he nuzzled his nose against the side of your head.

“This has been loads of fun, thanks for coming with me, I thought I was going to have to miss it..” He admitted and let out a sigh.

“I’m having a great time and I’m glad we came out, you know you can share all these things with me as well as your brothers, right?” He nodded and leaned closer, kissing your cheek, once, twice, before you turned around and pressed your lips to his.

“Yeah I know, thank you.” He said, voice soft and genuine as he leaned his head against yours, admiring the view and enjoying a wonderful date night with you.

[welcometoteyvat]

@apologems here, some shenhe & baizhu for you [random character pairs asks] thanks for your patience because this is really late and enjoy <3

———

The light fragrance of qingxin emanates from the little brown pills in Shenhe's palm. It will not change how the pills taste, though, so she downs them all at once.

… They're not as bitter as she expected. The taste is like… like regret softened with honey, a tinge of sweetness lingering in her throat. Something indescribable dislodges itself from Shenhe’s chest, escapes in a barely perceptible sigh. When she looks back up, two pairs of eyes—gold, crimson—human, snake—are gazing intently at her.

“Swallowed it without even a sip of water! You must have taken a lot of bitter medicine before.” The snake draped around the doctor’s neck speaks in a sing-song voice, blinking owlishly up at her. Shenhe stares back at it—and although she is not good at reading humans, and snakes even less, she thinks it seems a bit surprised that she hasn’t yet looked away. When it lowers its head a moment later, suddenly timid, Shenhe feels an inexplicable bubble of satisfaction pressing against the bindings of her red ropes.

The corners of Baizhu’s serpent eyes turn down unhappily, and he frowns a little. “Changsheng. Manners.” And then, to her, in a gentler voice, "Here. Take this dried goji and haw; it’ll wash out any of the remaining bitterness.” He takes out a burlap satchel from one of the many little cabinets behind the front desk, and places it carefully in her still outstretched hands.

“Thank you… Mr. Baizhu— Doctor.” She can’t quite remember what the person before her had said before leaving, but… any parting phrase should suffice, right? None of the other adepti chide Master when she leaves their gatherings without any goodbyes, after all.

“No need; this is simply part of my job.” Shenhe must have said the right thing, because Baizhu is smiling graciously, waving away her thanks. Shenhe follows the crescent-moon curve of his pale lips all the way to the premature crow’s feet crinkling at the corners of his eyes, and wonders if the years have been unkind to him. As she studies Baizhu’s amber irises and vertical pupils, her thoughts wander to the tomes of adeptal transformation arts squirreled away in a corner of her master’s abode. She wonders how long it has taken him to reach this form, for it almost rivals her master’s in its beauty.

“Ah—on another note, I don’t recall filling a prescription for you in Bubu Pharmacy before? Is it your first time coming here?” Baizhu peers at her carefully over his oval glasses, eyes like yellow jade and Hulao amber. Shenhe holds his eye contact, and then—slowly, slowly, like the boiling of medicine and the flow of ages past, Baizhu’s gaze becomes something… vaster, something… boundless—and suddenly, Shenhe’s falling, rushing past the sights and sounds of Liyue as experienced by generation after generation of disciples and masters and masters and disciples and the ever-present white snake wound around their necks. And then, just as suddenly she is back in the pharmacy, and Baizhu’s eyes are simply circular drops of molten gold, and he has a concerned expression on his face.

“Shenhe, are you alright? Apologies if my question was too prying; I was merely curious.”

“No. I have never been here.”

“Well, in that case, welcome to Bubu Pharmacy. May your coming days be full of good health.”

———

A/N: these two are an absolutely slept on character pair thanks for opening my eyes. sorry that nothing consequential happens in this fic i wanted to squeeze in something about not listening to fate and baizhu looking up her name for connections to the adepti etc. but that didn't happen and ive been stuck on it for 2 weeks so i threw in the towel and said to myself that i'll put it in a more-inspired sequel. sorry if this is again confusing. if there's only 1 take home message you get from this I hope it's that baizhu is A SICKLY ASS MAN (please take care of yourself)

and ofc, if ooc let me know, i heart feedback etc etc. open call for shenhe and baizhu likers to give me their theses on either character because i need to Understand them and study them under a microscope

crossposted to ao3 too ig

[vivisviolets]

hello vi!! i'd like to participate in your game if it's still open<3

my initials are V.G.I.U, i'm a female my pronouns are she/her and i'm bisexual! OMG i have so many things that i like but i'll make it short HAJDHDHA

1. i really like forests and green landscapes in general lololol if it was up to me i'd live in a cabin in the woods😭

2. i like learning about other's cultures and new languages as a hobby! i speak spanish and i'm studying to be an english teacher as a foreign language hehe, atm i'm also trying to learn korean, portuguese and french ><

3. i wanted to study parapsychology for a long time but i discovered it wasn't something for me, but after that i got more into spirituality and esoteric stuff in general and i've been studying astrology and numerology for a few years now and lately i'm learning how to read tarot (just bought my first deck!!)

anyway that's it LOL sorry for making it long, i hope you have a good end of the week hehe thank you in advance!!😋

VGIU 💝❤️💚 ⋆｡✧˚ Three of Cups, Six of Swords, Knight of Wands, Ten of Wands (bottom of the deck)

⋆｡✧˚ 111, 333, 1313 (lucky number), 666, Pisces/Cancer/Scorpio placements (Sun, Venus, Mars, 4th house, etc), Libra/Taurus/Virgo placements (Moon, 3rd/7th house, degrees, etc), Friday, black cat gf, channeled song, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

⋆｡✧˚ Hi! loving your energy right off the bat🏏 omg you are a little ball of light bouncing around- for those who see auras and even those who don't ⚡️- BUT ANYWAYS OMG this is a fs reading not a personality reading-

Ok first messages for this future partner- oh, this connection is gonna be fun!!~ OMG GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!! I haven't heard that song since I was 14- anyways, visuals coming through, there's like little party favors and decorations coming through, gold tinsel and colorful shiny confetti- dancing around with whoever this is, this might be one of your first dates, you're having a two-person slumber party~ and you two went all out for it… yea, this has a "new relationship" feeling, and a lot of excitement starting out in the beginning, I think you two will be quick to become best friends with each other when this attraction begins- I'm already getting a li carried away😭 let me settle into this energy and start to see the bigger picture of this connection!

Now I'm hearing Chappell Roan's music- "pisces, who knew that we were so aligned"~ whoever this person is, they have a lot of astrology placements that make them sweet, and very kind! mutual signs are their main dominant- I'm also picking up that Mercury is one of their dominants as well. they love going with your flow and they tend to follow you everywhere, just a warning that they may be a little clingy 😭- but it won't just be emotional clingy-ness, it will also be mental because this person loves to constantly learn about you (Mercury dom for sure) - (btw their personality may be a little different then what I'm reading depending on their gender identity!). being around you a lot is also where I get the "best friend lovers" trope, it'll be a mutual desire to share each other's space often! this is giving INFP+INFJ, or some other mbti variation, your person is creative, and while they are incredibly open-minded to everyone- they may have some internalized shame/insecurities around their own hobbies…

despite how in tune and expressive they are with their emotions- they'll struggle to crack open some aspects of themselves to you at first, they may burst at random times and start yapping away about the things they like and why they like them sm- and other times they'll be completely reserved like sudden "stage fright", or become fatigued after opening up. there are things from their past that they struggle with, especially when it comes to you- I'm seeing a small frightened rabbit/animal- they energetically tremble a little being around you- and it's because they're not used to being with someone who's so safe, and downright perfect for them emotionally. they may have gotten used to being small for safety reasons (maybe their home environment was difficult for them- because of their sensitivity often being weaponized against them- their creative gifts were threatened as well), I do hope I'm not worrying you too much with what your person may carry with them. because truly all they need is healing and strengthening of their self-worth bc it's truly amazing that despite what they've been through- they still love others so much.

This will be a relationship that will promote healing and self-growth! we often hear of relationships being the cause of self-growth due to strife/heartbreak. but this will not be the case! This is what healthy relationships should be! mutual empathy and goodwill towards the other. they'll be healing within this relationship, where both of you will learn just how beneficial loving someone else can be!! you will have rough patches, but there will always be a sense of comfort, because, despite any rough areas, you love each other (it's like how people who love each other express themselves during a disagreement- "I love you,- and when this happens it worries me, because I love you.")

-and also not just love, but you also like each other ♡. you guys share friendship bracelets with each other after all 💕❤️💚. speaking of that, you'll spark this person's creativity very often, you'll have many entries written about you in their diary/poems, and this person will give you gifts so often you could fill up a corner of a room (to the ceiling),- I'm also picking up that someone here could become interested in biology? majorying maybe? I see both of you going on some kind of study trip involving nature, somewhere with a lot of different types of trees, and fungi- maybe somewhere cold-ish? or with interesting terrain. Alaska or some (USA) western state. EITHER WAY- yall have shared wanderlust, and combined- you guys will adventure and travel together- holding each other's cold hands with your hearts warm ❤️(but pls pack socks).

*i hope this was helpful my darling ♡~ consider leaving a tip on my Patreon if you enjoyed, or follow and become a violet~ doesnt matter to me tho :>~ sending you on your wayyyy, bye!*

[indigoidiot]

It is I, anon from the 14th Dec last year. Just finished what I’m sure will become a yearly re-read of Lifeboat. I have thought about it at least once a week all year. It’s kinda crazy the impact it’s had on me, cuz I used to be a Pegoryu girlie but since reading it I’ve just went full Ryugoro truther. More than once did I have to take a break from reading and stare at the ceiling in Feelings. I cannot stress to you enough the impact this story has on me. I hope this past year has treated you well.

You are so sweet oh my god hello again I don't have the words to express how grateful I am for you and anybody else who follows Lifeboat despite my slow as hell pace bc it really is a passion project that I am dedicated to finishing and getting just right. The impact this little thing has had on both you and me still boggles my mind a little. 2023 has been a pretty involved year for my personal and irl life with a lot of changes I've been making to my routines and self-care efforts and I hope to continue that into the new year. BUT back to Lifeboat i am hoping to have another chapter up remotely soon, I'm aiming for early march at my current pace because i got stalled on one scene for a frankly ridiculous amount of time and I finally cleared that hang-up spot a couple of days ago. The story beats we're coming up on are also pretty major and bc of that I'm refining and refining leadups and plotpoints so everything ties up nicely :) Thank you so so so much for your message and nice to hear from you again!!! As a little treat have a teeny tiny snippet of a scene I just finished refining <3

[sevrai]

Armored Core

I went on a journey this year. Or maybe I should say I continued an old journey.

On July 10th, 26 years ago, the first Armored Core released in Japan. On an unknown day about 20-ish years ago a young me stumbled upon a copy of Armored Core 3 for the PS2 in a used game store.

It's been some time since I decided to indulge in a lengthy, meandering post about my loves and hobbies outside of awkward Twitter threads, so I wanna air my thoughts on the Armored Core series! (This is gonna be a long post, primarily for my own enjoyment. You have been warned.)

Most who know me online or read my comics will know of my penchant for fantasy, but not all may know of my love for the "Real Robot" subgenre of mecha. As someone obsessed with DBZ and magic, you'd think I'd fall more into the epic "Super Robot" camp of mecha anime, but growing up I felt captivated with Gundam Wing and the Universal Century OVAs that aired on Toonami and Adult Swim. They hard-wired my DNA early on. (With the Escaflowne film later impacting me so hard with it's grounded mecha and magical fantasy setting that it played a huge role in inspiring WOE, though my comic is noticeably lacking in Guymelefs.)

Naturally that awe and love for such works made me feel incredibly drawn to Armored Core 3 when I first saw it. It was my introduction to a series that I wouldn't comprehend the true breadth of for well over a decade.

I was terrible at it, both due to my lack of experience with TPS games and the oldschool control scheme, but the customization, detail, and overall atmosphere of the game were incredible to experience all the same.

It wasn't until the holiday season of 2008 that I was finally able to fight through an AC campaign, when I was gifted a PS3 and several games, among which was Armored Core: For Answer. It blew me away. I already had fond memories of bumbling around AC3, but For Answer's over-the-top presentation, haunting soundtrack, challenging gameplay, and dystopic atmosphere really sucked me in.

Along with Demon's Souls it kick-started a general admiration of FromSoftware and the distinct games they developed. After getting swept up in the excitement of Dark Souls, me and a friend dabbled in Armored Core V and Verdict Day, even playing a decent amount of the territorial multiplayer, but it never drew me in like AC3 and AC4A did.

The years went on and although I always adored Armored Core, I took my sweet time getting around to going backwards in the series. I've always been a fan of emulation and rarely used to feel a particular drive to collect physical games, (can't say the same for myself nowadays. Sorry, wallet!) but I always remembered how much AC resonated with me, and when walking around used game stores I would muse to my friends that I wanted to someday collect all of the Armored Core games in physical form.

I made relaxed progress grabbing the games when I saw them over the years, but at the end of 2022, the Game Awards hit everyone with a bombshell reveal. The show faded to black, the screen eventually being lit by the Bandai Namco logo, followed by a little red light. Something in my soul knew what was coming as soon as I saw that simple red light start to glow, I jumped out of my seat and exclaimed out loud "Armored Core!?"

It was a trailer for Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon, the first new AC game in ten years. It was a surreal moment that still makes me smile now.

The series was always niche, but since it went dormant From has achieved superstar status as a developer thanks to the Souls series and Elden Ring. There's now more attention and interest in Armored Core than it has ever gotten in the past. It didn't dawn on me until a buddy messaged me shortly after the reveal that the prices of the old games were gonna go crazy from the huge amount of people who were From fans but had never heard of AC, and were now interested in trying the old games.

Some were content to wait patiently to see if the market and prices would calm down, but I took a gamble and started shoring up my collection ASAP. Sure it felt embarrassing paying so much more for several of them than they were going for a mere few weeks earlier, but I supplemented my hunt by selling a few rare old SHF and Figmas.

After a few tense months of scanning listings for good prices with some very focused personal criteria, the result was expensive but satisfying;

On top of this investment I even went all-in on the Premium Edition of ACVI. Perhaps people should rightfully poke fun at me for throwing so much money around for video games about giant robots, but it's not often I can say I accomplished a goal of this caliber in my life.

Now with all the games in hand a new journey had begun; from collecting to playing. I've played Armored Core games off and on since the early 2000's, but I was only just now finally making the pilgrimage through the series proper from the very first release, alongside the huge wave of newcomers dipping their toes into the old games before the new one comes out. Like an Armored Core version of Billy Madison.

I started playing the PSOne Classics release of AC1 on my PS3, before transitioning to my PS2 Slim once all of the PSX games were in my hands. Learning that both systems used funky software emulation for PSX games I went on a subquest of ordering and cleaning up a SCPH-39001 model PS2, (which was super nostalgic in it's own right since I started with a fat PS2 in 2003,) hooked up to a massive KV-36FV310 via component cables. I even went down a DualShock 2 model rabbit hole. Every game now looks and runs like a dream on this hedonistic setup.

As of the day I'm posting this silly blog post, I am seven games deep. I have 100%'d, (all parts unlocked, all missions complete, all enemy AC beaten both optional fights in missions and in the Arena,) without any Human PLUS enhancements or OP-INTENSIFY used, and even sticking with the default control scheme:

Armored Core

AC: Project Phantasma

AC: Master of Arena

Armored Core 2

AC2: Another Age

Armored Core 3

… And right now I'm just a few percent shy of 100%ing AC3: Silent Line. Sorry if this sounds like juvenile bragging, but it's always been hard for me to focus on and finish games. My ADHD has me jumping from game to game for years on end, never seeing many of them through to the end, so I want to indulge in a bit of pride being able to spend several months blasting through these games without slowing down, and without taking any shortcuts.

Admittedly I haven't played on Hard Mode in any of the games that have offered it, and Silent Line is really pushing me to my limit demanding S Ranks on every mission, but I'm still enjoying it and hoping to finish it up in time to sample a bit more of the games I missed out on, as well as make a nostalgic return to For Answer, by the time ACVI comes out.

Returning to Armored Core 3 felt especially sentimental. Like a return home. I'm sure many people can relate to the feeling of returning to a childhood game with newfound abilities and knowledge, finally able to do what your younger self could not. Having beaten the game that started this whole obsession for me about two decades ago is a really great feeling.

I adore these games. I always loved the few I did play as a youngster, and knew that From was a consistent enough developer that I would enjoy the rest as well, but not to the extent I truly have. Despite the time and money spent collecting them, I still underestimated just how much I'd fall in love with each and every one. Even the aspects others struggle to return to. I love the FCS quirks, the turn speed, the bunny hopping, the heat and energy management, the opponents riddled with cybernetic enhancements pushing you to your limits, I even love the old controls of using L2/R2 for vertical camera movement. For all it's quirks and older design philosophies it's such an engrossing and immersive series.

ACVI will be a very different, (and streamlined,) beast. I'm okay with this. My adoration for old Armored Core will only make it easier to return to and appreciate this storied series I've gone to such lengths to collect, even after the new one releases. I trust From to do the series justice, no matter how easy it is for newcomers to jump in.

I love Armored Core, I love this genre of mecha, and I hope lots of people will learn to love it as well. I want the new game to do well so we can see more in the future. I sincerely doubt anyone will actually have read all of this, but if you did, thanks for your time. I know my rambling can be unfocused and pretentious. I don't need to put this much effort into waxing nostalgic about video games, but I miss the part of me that used to do this on a regular basis.

(I also apologize for how much my comic updating will probably slow down when ACVI drops, regardless of what momentum I can build through July and August.)

[ic3t3a]

Memories

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

Soobin smiled from ear to ear at your messages. How could someone, he was barely getting to know again, be so endearing?

"Whatcha smilin' at?" Soobin locked his phone quickly looking up at Yeonjun who had appeared in front of him. "Just some funny video. What are you doing here and not at dance practice?" Soobin asked putting his phone down on his desk.

Yeonjun fiddled with his thumbs, his cheeks growing a dusty pink. "I was wondering what you think about me...asking Y/N on a date?" Yeonjun blurted out glancing up to see Soobin's reaction. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. A part of him wanted to say it was a bad idea, that he barely even knew you.

"... I-I think you should do it Yeonjun. I know you've been through it with romance. Y/N...Y/N is sweet and I haven't seen you this giddy since your 1st middle school girlfriend." Soobin finally said, his dark haired friend grinning at his response. "Thanks, Soobin." Yeonjun said getting up and patting Soobin's shoulder. Yeonjun walked out of class with an extra pep in his step. Soobin sighed as he gathered his things to meet up with you.

You sat on your front porch, waiting for your unusually tall friend to arrive. Your dad had left a bowl of cut up watermelon for you in tbe fridge so you decided to change into your pjs and eat the bowl as you waited for Soobin. As he slowly came into view on your righy, you prepared yourself to say goodbye to the bowl.

"What are you eating?" A voice to the left of you startled you. "Oh my gosh, Yeonjun! Aren't you supposed to be at dance practice?" You asked as you looked up at the boy. "Well yea but I rushed over here cuz I wanted to talk to you." He said rubbing the back of his neck as he sat down next to you.

"I was wondering if you're free anytime soon?" Yeonjun asked as he looked you in the eyes. "Uhm well not right now, but maybe in like a day or 2, why?" You asked him. You knew where he might be headed with this but wanted to hear the words come from his mouth.

"We should go on a date." His ears turning red as he maintained eye contact with you. "Yea, I would like that." You replied hugging your knees and smiling at him. "Cool, cool, cool. So I-I'll see you...?"

"Saturday, come pick me up around 3?" You said giving the date an official day and start time. "Yea of course! I mean yea." Yeonjun said trying to play it cool. In reality, he wanted nothing more than to hug you and spin you around then skipp off after doing so. But he didn't he simply nodded and waved goodbye to you. You waved back watching his figure dissapear around the corner of a nearby house.

"Y/N!" You wiped your head the other direction to see Soobin calling you. You got up and made your way to him. "Hey, you ready to get some sort of re-collection of the past?" You asked him. He nodded letting you lead the way.

"Uh where do you think we're going?" You raised an eyebrow at him. "I...I don't really know." You chuckle at his lost state. "Who is the one person who speaks of our early childhood often?" You ask Soobin, the gears in his head going to work.

"Mr. Park?" He says as a question more than an answer. "Bingo." You reply walking past Soobin and to his neighbor's door. You knock on the door, Soobin walking up to the door as well.

The door opens to reveal the frail old man that is, Mr. Park. "I've been expecting you two." He says as his eyes look at the two of you. "Really?" Soobin asks. "Yes, I knew that at some point you two would want know what happened all those years ago." Mr. Park says mysteriously, "come inside I have a few things that may ring a bell or two." He walks back into his house. Soobin and yourself following after closing the door behind you.

"Go ahead and take a seat on my couch, I need to grab something real quick." Mr. Park gestures to his couch. The two of you take a seat, taking in the old man's house. His house was decorated with various antique items, his kitchen had yellow wallpaper that seemed to have begun to come off the walls, and his floors were mainly rug.

"Jeez, he really needs to give his house a clean." You say. "Really? It's not that bad yet." Soobin says, unfazed by the multiple stains on the couch. "Are you kidding? The walls are practically melting off the wallpaper." You look around at the house and its withering state. "The city kid in you is showing, and it's not a good look." Soobin says blatantly. "Well sorry." You say rolling your eyes. You could have easily blown Soobin off for Yeonjun but you didn't. You wanted to remember the friendship you once shared with him. However, sometimes he said and did things that made you want to not remember about your past closeness.

Mr. Park re-entered the room with a case in hand. He set it on the living room table, reaching for a key in his pocket and unlocking the case. Inside it was various VHS tapes, he grabbed three and brought them to VHS tape player. Inserting one and pressing a button, before going to take a seat on the other couch.

The T.V turned on and it played a video. From the lines and textured image the two of you could tell the footage was old.

A little girl popped up on the screen. She wore a overalls and a yellow tee under, her hair in pigtails, and sticker on her cheek. Someone on the video called the girl' name.

"Y/N!....Y/N! Mama's done with the watermelon"

That voice is unmistable to your ears. It's your mom who's calling you. Your eyes begin to water a bit. The camera follows you as you run to your mom. By her is a little boy, who you assume is Soobin. She hands you a bowl that your younger self only ends up dropping onto the concrete. And of course, the bowl breaks.

You quickly go to pick up the pieces, you end up cutting yourself.

"Oh my god, Y/N don't touch anymore pieces, okay?"

"I didn't mean to mama, I really didn't."

You run off somewhere, Soobin running after you. The camera stops then continues finding the two of you in a living room, Soobin taking your hand and putting a bandaid on the wound.

"It'll be okay, your mommy didn't mean to yell at you. She was just worried, y'know?"

"I-I know...I'm not stupid! It just made me sad. Cuz all mommy and daddy do now is fight and fight. And...and it makes me cry. So I thought mommy was gonna start fighting with me."

Soobin looks over at you, your eyes glued to the screen. He sees the tears rolling down your face. One after the other. He wonders how you sad and confused you must have felt then. He wonders if he did anyhing then to console you.

"There, there. It'll be okay. I promise... that I'll always be here for you. Just like you're always there for me."

Your younger self giggles at Soobin's promise.

"I-I'll be your knight in shining armor."

Young Soobin stands up to do a superhero pose and you clap for him laughing all the while.

You look at the Soobin on the screen. He's soft and bashful somewhat similar to the Soobin now, just less of a jackass of his approach to keeping you comforted. The two of you on screen giggle as you run bach outside. The feed cutting off.

The other 2 VHS tapes are somewhat similar except it's more of your younger adventures. Like finding frogs together and finding Mr. Park's now older cat in dark places.

"Have a good night you two." Mr Park says as he closes his front door. Both of you turn on your heels as you walk towards your house.

"Well that was...something." You break the silence. "Yea..." Soobin responds. There's so much that shold be said but neither of you can seem to speak up. Well that is until Soobin does. "About your mom...I'm sorry for your loss." He says stuffing his hands in his pockets. "It's fine, it was just...weird hearing her voice after putting her in the ground." You sigh out cold air. "Y'know as I was watching the first tape... I was wondering how many nights I cried myself to sleep hearing my parents argue. 12, 13 times? I just know it was a few too many." You kick at the ground.

You take a deep breath before quicklu changing the topic. "Anyhow, you made me a promise." You say. "A promise?" Soobin asks. "That you were always gonna be my knight in shining armor." You tease bumping his shoulder playfully with your own. "That was a promise I made when I wad like 6. But I think it jogged a memory for sure." He says chuckling. "Really? What did you remember?" You say curious of what it was he remembered.

"The day you were moving into the city with your mom, I told you that I liked you and that we could run away together...To neverland." He says bashfully rubbing his neck. You stop and look at him. Soobin also stops once he notices you falling behind. He turns around and looks at you, your eyes almost shimmering in the moonlight. The moment is swiftly ruined by the sound of your cackling. "HAHAHAHA, oh my god, Soobin I'm sorry I really don't mean to laugh, but that's so-so cute and cheesy. OH MY GOD! I faintly remember it now and you even...you even..." Your laughter begins to dye out as you also remember something.

"What? What is it? What did you remember?" Soobin asks you. You shake your head. "I-It's nothing." You murmur starting to walk again. "AW c'mon, you teased me about what I remembered! It's my turn to die of laughter!" Soobin begs you. The two of you strolling along the dirt road.

What you remembered definitely...arose some feelings. But they didn't matter cause that was then and this is now. Right?

Masterlist. / Prev. / Next.

[icharchivist]

a while ago I tried getting into a3, funnily enough because of following you and seeing you post a bunch. I don’t remember the reason I followed you in the first place, though it’s still pleasant to see you float around my dash every now and then. I never did end up becoming big on a3, but the art style reminds me a lot of the stuff I used to read when I was younger. so thank you for the nostalgia, I guess. I hope you have a nice day. (also i see you thirsting for that summer crotch boy, i don’t remember his name but honey you are so right)

omg nonny 🥺

First of all, super honored that you've been here for such a long time. Considering i've only been really blogging about a3 and gbf in those past 4 years, it means you've been here for a reeaaally long while!

And i'm very touched that you're still enjoying seeing me around enough that it made you want to try this out <333

Even if it ended up not working out for you, it makes me happy that you gave a3 a try. I'm really touched that you got interested enough because of my ramblings that you decided to try it. And even if it didn't end up grabbing you, i'm glad it gave you a bit of this nostalgia feeling <3 if anything has been worthwhile in this journey for you and you got any positive emotions out of it, then it makes me happy.

so, thank you so much for this sweet message, and i'm really glad you can at least look to the mess that is my blog with some fondness even if it didn't click with you then <333

As for the summer crotch guy. Jesus he really is becoming my Brand these days and it's all the gbf anons's fault i can't believe it. But also wOW on remembering his crotch over his name while i literally has his name in my bio and posts about him like 10 times per day, this is the funniest thing ever i can't stop laughing. I'm sure he would be very proud of this, and that's what truly matters.

So huh i'm glad at least my blog can give you nostalgia (?) or "sexy trashcan of a man who at least gives you sexy things to look at" (????)

the only two blog goals 😎

jesting aside, thank you still so much for this ask, i'm glad you shared this with me, and i'm glad that you can still get some fun stuff from my blog despite not really being into the things i'm blogging <3

Thank you for the sweet message, and i wish you well!

Take care <3

[mikoriin]

Hello, sorry if this is overstepping! I just wanted to say I’m sorry you’ve been feeling lonely, but whenever your art pops up on my dash I smile so I hope this little message can return the favor even a little bit 👉👈💖

this is so sweet thank you so much ❤❤❤❤

honestly i keep losing followers, gaining two or three more, then losing more. and ive been trying to promote my original story and work on it in little ways and engage with my followers about it but it rly is not going well. i appreciate all the people who care about my original story even the tiniest but and i see u guys. but when i have over 7 thousand people viewing my content and only the same like 5 people see it and even care?? its very discouraging

but this has been a problem posting art on tumblr for years. especially for smaller artists like me. ive been on tumblr since 2012 and i only have just barely over 7k followers, ive always been a small artist on here among any fandom i drew for. and im at the point in my life where i want my socials to contain my personal, original content that im super passionate about and want the world to see. so now my circle is even smaller. and especially the past 2 or 3 years its been so bad no one wants to reblog anything like they used to. likes are nice, they rly rly are. theyre much appreciated. but it does make it feel like when u have 500 notes on your post but like 450 of them are likes??? that feels awful. it makes me and many artists feel like our work isnt worth reblogging. ive been trying to post any little thing i have about my story and my art and my ocs and it gets hardly any traction and its just honestly depressing haha

but i appreciate u tysm <33333