#thanks staff for causing a seizure you assholes

[chronicallyuniconic]

Do doctors exist simply to torment? What the fuck just happened😖

I cannot believe the fucking telephone appointment I've just had. It was setup a couple of weeks ago under "medication review" but didn't specify what medication they'd be reviewing. A simple medication review. I've done it 1000 times, usually with a pharmacist.

This time, a doctor/pharmacist/receptionist I don't know, I've never heard or seen before calls (even tho it's from the surgery number), "I'm ringing about your med review" I ask him to clarify which ones as I wasn't told. One of them is my migraine tablet(M), the other my asthma inhaler(A).

"How long have you been on M?" "You can't be on M anymore as they (are known to) impact your asthma" I explained I'd been on them for a long while and have not had any asthma problems because of them. I explained what does flare my asthma. Then he says "well if M are causing wheezing..." No I said, they don't cause wheezing, I've had no problems despite you saying they impact my asthma." He responds with, "How do you know its asthma, what if you DON'T have asthma?" is this guy taking the piss? I look at my phone to make sure I am actually speaking to the fucking surgery I'm registered with.

Like... I get inhalers every month, before covid I go to asthma clinic every year (because you have to), I had to have my tonsils removed as a child because they stopped me breathing & tonsilitis always made asthma flare. It's been there since childhood (thanks for the prenatal cigarettes mam). And all of a sudden my old ass is having to explain to what is basically a stranger on my phone, about my own asthma. This guy is sat there with my medical notes for fucks sake. I say to him "sorry are you actually questioning whether or not I have asthma something I've had my whole life?"

He goes back to his original point. "you can't have M anymore because of asthma" so I ask how to manage migraines without M. He offers another medication i can't take because they make you sleepy, and I already take meds that do that. If he'd looked...."oh they make you sleepy do they," talking to himself" well yes you would be quite zonked out so let's not do that one then"

He offers another medication used for "blood pressure." High, low? Who fucking knows? I told him about my BP problems for him to say "well let's see how you get on with it or give us a ring back" not even caring or failing to understand the frequency and severity of which I faint. Again, read my notes.

I'm waiting for a Neurology appointment I explain, as I have been having frequent seizures. "and what have they said about migraines?" IM WAITING FOR THE APPOINTMENT ASSHOLE. "oh yes, I see that here now, seizures, yes."

He goes back to asthma. I am just dying to get off the phone, I want this conversation to end. I am beyond livid. Multiple times he actually questioned diagnoses that are on his damn screen or didn't even bother to look at. He's prescribed something I didn't even hear the name of because I wanted to launch my phone, that I can "pick up" from reception. My guy, I am bed/housebound. Again, if he only read the notes.

Now I have to wait to see what this is, understand why and if what he was going on about with the M is correct. It feels weird to be suddenly told nah ya can't really be on this now, unless some rules have changed overnight and they're having to cover their tracks.

This guys behaviour and words caused all sorts of medical trauma to surface, that constant battle of not being believed, being second guessed, and this time it's about fucking asthma, you know my INABILITY to breathe. I must somehow be imagining it and not really need an inhaler eh?

The best bit, the cherry on top, the icing on the cake, the bit that lessened my anger and brought me back to the sick joke the world is playing was "we would like to see you about your asthma and inhalers but due to STAFF SICKNESS, it will have to be in the New Year."

They forget that I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain, I'm just left to deal with this shit. Most of the time, I can't because I'm unable. So fed up. I just want to be believed. Heard. Does anyone do their job properly anymore? Do any doctors exist that want to help a patient or is it just fiction for the television?

Exhausted after all this.

[strangeshounenhumanoid]

Tumblr staff hates epileptics pass it on

[sleeping-lilies]

robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

[metropolis-is-for-the-weak]

The Bolton Inquiry #1 [Transcribed by Becky Albright and Lonnie Machin]

Harvey: Is it on?

Salem: Mmhm, relax Harv, not like Bolton can explain why the list of thirteen testimonies cramped down to five.

Harvey: I'm gonna stuff that son of a bitch-

Jonathan: Into a trash compactor?

Harvey: A woodchipper is more effective.

Jonathan: What is this? The movie Fargo?

[Joker snorts]

[Gavel bangs on the council table]

Leland: We've called this inquiry to address allegations I have been hearing for the past few months.

Salem: You've had these allegations.

Jonathan: Joan doesn't want to be accused of bias. You know her job relies on it.

Joker: I never thought I'd miss Aaron Cash.

[the room goes silent as Roman enters]

Leland: We appreciate your appearance Mr. Sionis but we'd appreciate punctuality.

Roman: I was caught up at work, my apologies.

Joker: What's Masky doing here?

Jonathan: Janus Industries has a pharmaceuticals branch, they supply Arkham with most of its medications.

Harvey: Both of you need to shut the fuck up.

[Leland clears her throat]

Leland: Certain allegations have been brought to my attention regarding our new Chief of Security, Mr. Lyle Bolton. Mr. Bolton, patients and staff alike are claiming you disregard policy, and this inquiry itself was called by Commissioner Gordon.

Bolton: Then by all means, let them talk.

Joker: I've got a broken hand that calls bullshit on that statement!

Salem: Mr. Napier will you please sit down?

Joker: Yes Miss Jackson I'd love to.

Leland: I'd like to call up Dr. Harleen Quinzel to testify.

[Harley stands and approaches the center of the room]

Leland: According to records you've been pointing out serious breaches of policy.

Harley: I might've noticed some things.

Salem: Dr. Quinzel, please be truthful.

Bolton: Miss Jackson, I don't think you can make claims of a patient's honesty.

Salem: But I can tell when a patient is uncomfortable, unlike you.

Harvey: Don't provoke him Salem.

[Salem scoffs]

Harley: Sometimes he's a little too rough with the collared patients. I'm not sure if he forgets or if he just ignores the policy but he's been using the collar to shock Mr. Mavis.

Leland: Mr. Bolton, is this true?

Bolton: I don't believe we need to coddle a single metahuman above the rest of them?

Leland: Mr. Mavis suffers from epilepsy, by our policy, the inhibitor collar on him cannot be used to administer shocks.

Bolton: He can survive a small shock.

Leland: Dr. Crane, could you please inform the bar of the effects of electric shocks on a patient with epilepsy?

Jonathan: It tends to trigger petit mal seizures, but repeated shocks can cause the instance of all seizures to spike.

Leland: By policy, we also only administer shocks for high levels of belligerence in those patients.

Harley: He does it when any of us misbehave.

Leland: Even non-collared patients?

Harley: Yes sir.

Bolton: Oh for the love of-

Jonathan: Smell that? It's fucking justice.

Harvey: No it's Roman smoking a cigarette inside a courtroom like an asshole.

Leland: Thank you Dr. Quinzel. I'd like to call up Mr. Harvey Dent next. Mr. Dent's therapist is our present intern, Miss Salem Jackson. Miss Jackson is primarily here to help Mr. Dent's condition from acting up.

Salem: Thank you ma'am.

Bolton: Are we sure this young lady can be trusted with a man significantly taller than her.

Jonathan: She talks back to you all the time.

Joker: He did break my hand to keep me from talking.

[Bolton stands and starts towards Joker, Jonathan stands in his way]

Bolton: Move Crane.

Jonathan: No.

Bolton: Zsasz isn't here to save you this time.

Jonathan: He should've never had to in the first place. You just get a kick out of treating us like trash.

[Bolton punches Jonathan and grabs Salem's phone]

Bolton: You little-

[End transcript]

[gaypasta]

do you want fries with that?

Chapter 1 / ? Read on Ao3

Darkness still painted the sky over the town of Derry. Streetlights spilt an orange glow onto the pavement which sparked like the tail of a firework during Derry’s Halloween annual firework show when Stanley Uris cycled through the puddles. The orange sparks fell back onto the frosty ground, all the heat from the warm day before had been lost over the course of the night time. Birds chirped faintly in the background, Stanley couldn’t distinguish which direction the almost dream-like sounds were coming from - it felt as though they were circling him on his usual bike ride to work.

The warmth and brightness of summer mornings were slowly retreating back into hibernation, much to Stan’s displeasure. Having to start work at six o’clock was enough of a chore without having to cycle in the darkness. Nonetheless, Stanley enjoyed his weekend job as much as one could; the pay was decent, the hours were okay and all of his friends worked alongside him. Except Richie Tozier. Thank God.

Derry’s Waterfront Diner was a small venue with a fair amount of traffic. It was built only a few years prior just a mile from Derry’s centre. It’s not by any means in the heart of Derry, it is the only building in the long stretch of road before you enter the town. It was a popular rest-stop for people driving through the town to get to a better, more modern town. It wasn’t often that Stan saw a customer more than once, except maybe on their return back home. Stan didn’t believe that he had deserved or earned the job as weekend supervisor, not just because he was only 15 but more so the fact that he hadn’t had an interview. Or applied for the job. Or even really wanted it. Bill had proposed it was probably because him, Stan, Richie and Eddie were the only regular customers and had gotten to know the staff. They would go to the diner every weekend after whatever shenanigans they had gotten up to in the past four years. Stan had remembered when they brought Georgie out for his birthday several months ago, and the owner - who was a fat, balding man but with a kind face and stubble that wasn’t quite ever shaven right - had brought out a cake along with a badly wrapped box with a gaudy bow sloppily sellotaped to the top. If Stan’s memory was correct - which it usually is - the group were the only ones in the diner that summer evening. Richie turned the vintage jukebox up as loud as it would go and grabbed Georgie out of his chair and danced in a way that wasn’t unlike a seizure. Stan had pointed that out and everyone laughed. Except for Bill, who was thanking the owner off to the side, trying to give him whatever amount of crumpled up dollars he had in his pocket to pay for the cake (and the damages caused by Richie’s dancing). It was that evening, when Stan had cleaned up and righted all the chairs which had been knocked over and pushed to the side to make a crude imitation of a linoleum dancefloor that the Mr.Denton had offered Stan a job, if he wanted it. Stan had said yes, a decision he hadn’t really spent the appropriate time to think about. The job hadn’t interfered with school work or his hobbies yet so Stan had no reason to quit or go back on the offer. It wasn’t a fortnight later when Bill showed up during one of Stan’s shifts, wearing a white apron and a smile which suggested he was excited and nervous, the feeling Stan recalls having before his first ever shift. Not two days later did Eddie show up, wearing rubber gloves that were probably intended to go half-way up the forearm but hugged Eddie’s elbows and a waterproof apron. The goloshes were overboard, Stan had thought. Eddie bussed like no bus-boy had ever bussed before, the plates were cleaner than they probably were when they were first bought. Stan pulled up into the diner, the retro design along with the neon sign had Stan feeling a sense of nostalgia for a decade he never lived in. He rode round past the front door into the side, he hopped off his bike and kicked up his stand beside the smoking area, if he parked it anywhere else he feared a careless delivery driver would run it over. Stan unlocked the door to the large gated back entry, which held the large commercial garbage cans were stored to prevent wild animals rummaging for leftovers. Stan carefully side-stepped a garbage bag which had tipped over during the night and spewed mouldy hamburger buns. Stan continued to do all his morning duties with monotony. He’d been here long enough and done the same thing every weekend where he doesn’t have to think about what he’s doing, it comes naturally. It was almost embedded into his head. Unlock the back doors. Turn off security. Turn on lights. Turn on fans and dishwasher. Turn on heating. Pre-heat oven for Bill. Move the chairs the table back to the floor. Unlock the front door. Check wastage from the night before. Prep the breakfast food for Bill. Write up next weekend’s rota. The front of house was small, there was maybe a half a dozen tables and two booths. Stan didn’t mind the horrible bright red and white floor tile, which matched perfectly with red walls and very gaudy 60’s-era decorations which basically covered the wall. It was any wonder that he could tell what colour the wall is at all. Although the decoration was, in Eddie’s words, ‘a fucking nightmare come to life’, the place was always clean, the floor always shone and Stan had never found any chewing gum under tables or seats. He checked every time. The back of house was much bigger. The were two large benches for prep and cooking beside a large industrial sink and a large oven which was taller than Bill. The top shelf was never used, it was tightly pushed against a large griddle, which is where the magic of Bill’s pancakes were made.  Beside the red-circle windowed door which led to the front of house was two fryers which had probably seen better days. There were more steel benches beside the fryers, which ended at a wall about four foot high. On the other side of the half-wall was Eddie’s ‘station’. A pretty clean and spacious area for cleaning dishes and various cooking utensils. It was always immaculate when Eddie left it. The back door was beside the counter where all the clean plates and bowls were stored, about 10 feet from the sink. Stan had just got his pen and a clean sheet of paper to begin the rota when he could hear the familiar haphazard dismount of Silver. Not moments later he could hear Bill rustling with the fallen garbage. Bill would pick up other people’s garbage, that’s just the kind of guy he was. Stan likes to think of himself as that kind of guy too - but Stan has a good enough sense of self to know he’s not like Bill in that way. He’s like Bill in some ways, but not in the touching mouldy food way. The back door opened and Stan looked up from the prep bench he was leaning on to greet Bill. Bill was adorning the uniformed white apron and white diner hat. That was where their uniform ended, but it was an unwritten rule to wear a black or grey t-shirt and black bottoms, mainly just to avoid ruining good clothes. “Hey Bill, I have your prep done. All you have to do this morning is cook them off.” Bill grinned as he shrugged off his coat and hung it up on the hooks beside the door. “T-thanks Stan. Has M-M-Mike come with the deliveries yet? W-we were out of eggs l-last night.” Stan shrugged his shoulders. “Not yet, but it’s raining so he’s probably just taking it easy with the precious cargo.” Bill laughed and walked into the large fridge which was tucked away beside the oven. “It’s w-w-w-warmer in here th-th-than outs-s-ide.” Stan couldn’t see Bill, but if he walked into the fridge he’d imagine he could see his breath. “Eddie coming in at n-n-n-nine?” Bill said, slightly louder than before as he hunted for the items he’d need for breakfast at the back of the fridge. Stan thought for a second, to try to remember what he had written on the rota before answering Bill. “Yeah, he’s in nine to five today as usual.” Stan’s eye caught a handwritten note which was taped to the wall beside him. Stanley, I will be conducting interviews for new staff members this week for weekends. They will be starting next weekend, keep this in mind for next weekend’s rota. Thanks, Louis Denton “Hey! Did you know we’re getting more people next weekend?” Stan turned to Bill, who was walking out of the fridge with about 6 boxes of bacon and 4 bottles of pre-made pancake batter. Stan pretended not to notice him almost dropping one. “W-we are? C-cool! We should t-t-tell Richie. Maybe he’ll st-stop asking us for money. I th-think Eddie must give ab-about half his w-w-w-wages to Richie for the Arcade.” Bill dropped the supplies with a large thump onto the bench. Stan stood in horror at what Bill was suggesting. “W-we need someone to work out fr-front, waiting and working the d-drinks and c-cash, R-Richie could do that.” Stan could literally not think of anything he needed less in his workplace than Richie running about around ovens and boiling oil and knives. “Nope. Absolutely not happening. I can man out front fine on my own.” Bill smirked. “T-That’s not what you s-said last week when you w-w-were on the verge of a muh-muh-mental breakdown.” Stan rolled his eyes. “We were busy and Eddie had phoned in sick, you were stressed too, asshole.” “E-Eddie’s mom, you mean.” Bill corrected. Stan rolled his eyes lightheartedly in response and continued to write up the rota, bringing one of the evening workers in a longer shift to cover for Stan doing training. He didn’t think Beverley would mind, she always asks for extra shifts. She would probably work every night and day if he asked. He’d make sure to ring her at a more reasonable hour than six-thirty to check, as per routine. It was afternoon, the eggs had been delivered and the Bill gave Mike a free waffle to eat as he signed delivery papers. Stan thought maybe he should be more professional and not give away free food, but Mike gives them a discount so he thinks it’s fair. Stan was waiting orders, there wasn’t a whole lot, mainly truck drivers and a family of 4 visiting relatives 4 towns over. It was a calm atmosphere, it was lunch rush and there was only 2 tables filled and 3 men sitting at the long bench where Stan was refilling coffee. Eddie came out with a container full of freshly clean white coffee cups. Sweat was beating down his face and his inhaler was protruding out of his pocket.   “Eddie, it’s not a race, you know? You can slow down before you have an asthma attack.” Stan suggested. Eddie looked at him as if he called him every incredulous name he could think of. “Do you know how quickly bacteria multiplies? If i slow down a plate might sit for ten minutes. By that time the bacteria has spread tenfold. And what if one of them happens to be freaking… Salmonella or something? Then do you know what happens, Stan?” He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth in an overly-panicked habit. Stan started unloaded the cups from Eddie's arms onto the shelves behind him. “What happens, Eddie?” Eddie’s eyes blinked about six times as he tried to force the words out of his throat as fast as he possibly could. “Someone eats,  I don't know… a slice of freakin apple pie or something and feeds it to their kid. Children’s immune systems can’t handle salmonella, Stan. The kid is dead because I took too long to clean the plate. That’s what will happen.” Stan took the last of the cups from Eddie, expecting him to walk back to his station, but he didn’t. He stood his ground expecting a confirmation. “Eddie, that’s not going to happen. I mean, it could, but statistically, it’s very improbable.”

Eddie gave Stan an offended look and walked out. Stan heard the trigger of his aspirator through the swing of the door. Stan continued to serve people with a fake smile. The mother from the family at the table had flirted with him, he was flustered but held his cool and continued to be professional. She gave him a $5 tip. After a few hours it had quietened down, there was only and old Polish lady sitting beside the window drinking coffee, so Bill and Eddie came out front to relieve themselves of boredom. Stan was keeping himself busy polishing the cutlery, Eddie - who had taken off his ridiculous gloves - was messing with the jukebox, trying to play some better music than whatever was drifting through the speakers now.

“Hey! This piece of shit doesn’t even have   Raining Men . What kind of bullshit is that? Stan I want this rectified by next week.” Eddie complained from the jukebox. Stan barely lifted his head from cleaning a spoon.

“I d-d-don’t think that Stan has control o-o-over the music.” Bill piped up from a magazine he was flipping through. Stan glanced at it. It was a furniture catalogue.

Eddie laughed, “Yeah, there’d be worse music coming out if it was Stan’s.”

Stan scoffed. “Cyndi Lauper is far better than any of the crap you listen to, Eddie. It’s not my fault your brain’s broken.”

Eddie looked offended. Stan often wonders how Eddie can spend so much time around Richie when he gets defensive about everything. Once Stan commented that Eddie got a haircut and Eddie’s face was red as a tomato by the end of his defensive tangent. “I actually think, that according to the latest Rolling Stones magazine, Clash has been rated one of the best music legends of the 20th century.”

Bill cut in, “One of the b-b-best. Cyndi L-Lauper could be up t-there.” Eddie responded by giving Bill the finger, muttering something about Bill being a shit-stirrer. Bill raised his hands in defensive and smiled out of the side of his mouth at Stan. “I-I’m just st-st-stating an ob-observation, Eddie.”

Stan shook his head and continued polishing spoons. They didn’t really look any different, but it gave his hands something to do.

The front door slammed open with such force that Stan thought that it had shattered. The Polish lady didn’t flinch. She made him feel uneasy. “What is up fuckers and fuck-lets!?”

Stan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Richie, language. You could get us in trouble.”

He saw what he assumed was Georgie drowning in one of Richie’s hoodies cross the threshold into the diner. “What’s up fuckers?” Georgie beamed.

Bill choked on his own tongue as he tried to say something but could not, for the life of him, get any words out. Eddie, of course, was laughing. “Dude that’s messed up, look-” he gestured to a flabbergasted Bill - “you’ve broken Bill!”

Stan shook his head and deadpanned. “Richie, what the hell?”

Richie, naturally found this hilarious and had a shit-eating grin on his face. Stan wanted to punch it. Georgie was completely oblivious to what was going on, but was happy to see Bill. He ran up to the counter and struggled to get himself onto the tall stools. Richie’s hoodie was shielding his eyes and all Stan could see was his tongue poking out in concentration.

Stan bent over the counter and helped hoist Georgie up. He poured him a glass of milk and set it down onto a coaster. Stan patted Bill on the shoulder and went to go refill napkins.

“Guh-Guh-Georgie, don’t s-say th-that aguh-again or Mom will be c-cross.” Bill managed to force out of his body, he seemed like the words actually physically exhausted him to say. Richie laughed again.

Georgie looked up at Bill or tried to at least. Bill pushed the hood off Georgie’s face to reveal a big frown. “But Richie said it would be funny, Bill.”

Bill reached for a straw from the cylindrical container on the counter and put it in Georgie’s milk. “That word is for grown-ups. It’s a bad word.” Georgie nodded solemnly, taking Bill’s words as gospel.

Richie walked over and took a napkin out of Stan’s hand and blew his nose with it. It was a loud, animal-like sound, or maybe a tuba. Either way it was disgusting. As Richie pulled it away from his face, a long green string kept the napkin and his own nose connected. Eddie, who had turned round after hearing the distressing noise had gagged violently and sprinted out into the back and away from this nonsense. Stan screwed his nose up at Richie, who seemed unfazed by this green string of snot. Richie wiped his nose again with the other side of the napkin and threw it at Stan. “Dude! What the hell that’s disgusting!” Stan jumped back, his hip clipped the side of the row of shelves behind him. Richie laughed in response. “I’m serious Richie, pick it up.”

“Are you gonna kick lil ol’ me out, Mister Stanley?” Richie spoke in his Southern Belle voice, pouting his lip and fluttering his eyelashes. “All I wanted to do was share fluids, Mister Stanley. Don’t be mad!”

Stan visibly grimaced at Richie, moreso at the terrible accent than the words he was saying. “Actually I can.”

“Share fluids?”

“Kick you out. Out you go. See you at school Richie.”

Stan began pushing Richie to the door while Richie just allowed Stan to manoeuvre him. “You can’t kick me out! I work here!”

Stan stopped in his tracks, hands still touching Richie’s shoulders. He leaned slightly closer to him, maybe only by an inch. “What did you just say?”

Richie grinned at Stan, as if he was showing off a prize. “I have an interview tomorrow. I’ll win him over with my good looks and charm, easy .”

Stan briefly considered quitting. The thought of putting up with Richie Tozier’s mouth and obnoxious touching for now 7 days a week made Stan wonder if he could pull off a homicide.

Richie noticed Stan pausing and wrapped his arm tight around Stan’s shoulders. “I know, Stanny-boy, it’s hard to contain the excitement, but please - don’t cry! I promise that there’s enough of me to go around - and I mean plenty.”

Stan shrugged off Richie’s arm. “I peed beside you in the urinal last week. I know that’s not true.”

“Have you been replaying us peeing together in your head at night? When no one else is around? Say it ain’t so Stan! You like me! You really, really like me!”

Stan took a calming breath and turned back round to go back to work.

“See you next Saturday!” Richie yelled as Stan walked away.

“Mister Denton hates you after you drove your bike through the doors last year. No way he’d hire you.” Stan quipped before disappearing out back.

Bill looked up from Georgie, “I m-mean, he’s n-n-not wrong.”

Richie blew a raspberry at Bill. “Georgie, you do it too.” And as commanded, Georgie blew a raspberry at Bill, who started tickling him.

“Now can I get some actual fucking service around here?” Richie demanded, Bill didn’t even have to ask what he needed. He nodded his head as he went to go make two rounds of pancakes. He ruffled Georgie’s dusty blonde hair and followed Stan’s departure.

Richie didn’t actually think he’d get the job. Mr.Denton actually did hate him. Just because he broke a single window that one time! And then once more after that, but he insists that it was Eddie's fault for daring him to kick a football through an open window and that wasn't actually open. It was worth a shot, Bill never complains and Stan doesn't mind working there. Eddie complains but he complains about everything. Plus, it means he gets to annoy Stan every day.

He smiled. He loved the disgruntled look on Stan's face everytime he said something that irritated him. Or the way that Stan would give him that trademark deadpan look. He was the easiest to get a reaction from, but his reactions were so subtle and that's why Richie loved them.

Georgie started to blow bubbles in his milk. Richie gave Bill’s brother a pat on the back.

He really can't wait to nail this interview. (Or at least that's what he keeps telling himself)

Next Chapter

[ofhxrror]

OFHXRROR’S RP GUIDE: HOW TO PLAY A CHARACTER WITH EPILEPSY. 

While I have nothing against the other rp guide’s who tell you what epilepsy and some of them explain it great, they feel like that’s all they are doing explaining it. So here is an rp guide coming from someone who has GE for those who want to play a character with it. ( below will have what GE is, what it can feel like, how it can effect the people around you, how to roleplay a grand mal / tonic - colonic seizure, and the long term + short term effects of a seizure. ) 

UPDATED:  06/16/2020

What is GE ( Generalized Epilepsy )

GE is a type of epilepsy that comes with no primary cause and comes from the whole brain rather than it stemming from one part of the brain, it also mostly happens durning childhood ( but can happen in adulthood just when that happens their’s less of a chance that you will grow out of it ). There is two possible outcomes with this type of epilepsy, Option One the patient stays on medication for two years and at the end is able to be taken off those meds without any trouble thus for some reason is now cured of GE; Option Two however is more common and likely they stay two years on medication but still have trouble thus aren’t cured of GE. 

Symptoms of GE ( what it can feel like ) 

This is my personally experience with GE but before I was on medication this is what it normally felt like to me which scary enough often felt close enough to an aura ( aka a warning sign to a seizure ); - Numbness / Out Of Body Moments  - Tasting Copper / Blood  - Random Dizziness / Lightheadedness  - Getting Nauseous - Sleepiness  - Headaches - Anxiety / Worsen Anxiety  - Depression / Worsen Depression  - Myoclonic Jerking: which fun fact is another minor form of seizing, I developed this over a very short period of time and it comes even though I am medicated. 

How GE might effect your Muse 

GE is one of those things that can effect people in so many different ways that it’s hard to guess which ways you muse might be effected so here are so suggestions; - your muse might just hole up in a comfy place out of fear of having a seizure at an unknown point ( me for like a month after my first one )  / place or they might keep living their life giving GE a big fuck you and just shrugging it off ?  - if your muse already has anxiety and / or depression think would they get worse for having this in their life?  - your muse might draw away from people due to just panic and stress or would your muse lean on the ones that they have more? - if they have anger problems they might get worse because they might feel like the world if screwing with them? - if they are super prepared they might wear a medical alert bracelet or carry a card with them at all times that says they have GE now. I didn’t leave my room for a month unless it was to shower, I did all my school work at home, and my depression shot through the roof after my first seizure. But then after awhile I missed people so I got out again and it was scary at first so I clung to those I could trust like a baby monkey. Now I’m not scared at all of having an attack because I trust the people around me which leads me too... 

How GE might effect the people around your Muse.

Okay this will hit people hard or soft from what I’ve seen there is no two ways about it folks, if they have seen your muse have a seizure it’s going to hard and if they haven’t seen your muse have a seizure it’s going to be soft. Right after my first seizure my mom didn’t leave my side and then when I had a seizure around a guy I was seeing he didn’t let go of my hand. But when I tell people I have GE it’s “okay so you wanna get pizza later.” but sometimes it’s “okay so if you have a seizure what do you want me to do.” So it just makes a difference on what type of personality your muse’s people have, plot it out, ask your the other muse’s owner “does this work?” and if not keep plotting till you find something that works. 

How to roleplay a Grand Mal Seizure.

You’re muse is overworked, or is lacking sleep, or is just unlucky whatever the case you want to roleplay a seizure. Well here the info you will need labeled from start to finish from a good amount of research and memory:  START; your muse might get something called an aura which could be a number of things, for me it was always the taste of blood like loads and loads it followed my right hand jerking out of my control ( a myoclonic seizure ). For your muse it could be anything ranging from numbness, to a headache, to nausea. These can last anywhere to ten mintues to an hour and half but they don’t last much longer than that because next is... MIDDLE; if your muse is really unlucky they might just skip right to this part which is when the seizure happens, which durning a bunch of things can happen. Now these have two phases which are known as the tonic phase and the colonic phase which is the reason for  the name. During the tonic phase your muse will lose consciousness ( though sometimes people don’t and are awake which isn’t rare but is really uncommon ) and they start to tense up, often making loud moaning sounds as air is being force out of their lungs. If your muse is standing or sitting they will fall down due to the fact that their skeletal muscles are tensing up, this phase is the shortest. In the colonic phase your muse will start to convulse, which can be as light or as violent as the seizure goes on. The eyes will roll up into head and often if your muse is not not biting down on something the tongue / lips will get bitten ( sometimes to the point where it might get bitten off, meaning do not have or let anyone put their muses hands in your’s mouth because they will lose them ), the lips may turn blue. finally it’s over but now comes the .... END; when your muse wakes up they might not know where they are or who they are but they will get it all back shortly, it helps to have someone remind them. vomiting and crying are also side effects due to the large emotional stress it does apply to the brain / body (  I experianced vomiting, crying, panic and huge amounts of tiredness due to the seizure, it took the nursing staff telling me what happened for me to be okay. ) 

Long Term + Short Term effects of seizures. 

Even one seizure can effect your brain so your muse will have both Short Term and Long Term effects to struggle with, I know this fact very well. The shorter effects of the seizures can be:

- Amnesia / Confusion  - Suttering  - Crying / Violent Sobbing  - Vomiting - Low Emotional Thresh Hold  - Short Term Memory Loss  - Shaking  - Cuts / Broken Bones / Bruises - Sore Muscles - Intense Sleepiness

Long Term effects can be: 

- Suttering  - Trouble With Memory  - Worsened ADD / ADHD  - Twitching / Jerking / Shaking Hand Motions also know as myoclonic seizures.  - Confusion  - Sleepiness  - Lack Of Appetite - Weight Loss  - Coma’s / Death / Brain Bleeds 

Why do you want to roleplay this?

Finally I have to ask this question as someone who lives their life with this curse, it’s truly a hellscape some days and honestly it’s no fun waking up some mornings with your head spinning and arm smacking you in the face. My body does not feel like mine, it’s possessed by some creature that I cannot get rid of because modern medicine doesn’t have a fix yet. Please think about that when you add this to your character, I just want you to know all the points of epilepsy that while yes most people with the disease can live normal healthy lives, it’s not fun and it sucks. I’m not trying to be an asshole I just wanted to underline how serious it really is and make sure you aren’t just sticking your chara with this illness for brownie points. 

thank you for coming to my ted talk!