#thanks for reading really

[starlinefactives]

(ENG) Dealing with dysmorphia as a factive

— By Hyuka

Spanish version here: Link

Index ✨

Intro...

What to do during the crisis...

What to do after the crisis...

Remark and summary...

1. Intro⭐

Hi, I'm an introject of Hueningkai, one of the members of a K-pop group called TxT. As you can see I use Hyuka to refer to myself. I'm not going to explain what's an introject, what's DID, etc because I do this content by and for other introjects. More info about our project here: Link

In this post you'll find tips to manage easily the days where looking in the mirror, listening to yourself and remembering your "other life" hurts. Perhaps dysmorphia isn't the perfect term, since for us (factives) depersonalization's often mixed with this body distortion. We have a vivid reference to how we see ourselves, and I know firsthand how it can end up affecting physical & emotional health. So here we're 🤣

2. What to do during the crisis⭐

There are things that you can do but I recommend doing the hard stuff when the feeling doesn't cloud us so much... So:

0°) Right now isn't the time to look for answers.

First heal and feel better. In moments like this, it isn't necessary to look for concrete answers, if not to rest and seek personal care.

Things you could do at the moment:

1°) Don't look for photos/videos of your source on your bad days.

I know, or at least it happens to me, I begin to sink into photos but they only widen the abyss between feeling better and the current moment. It doesn't mean you must never watch them, of course you can enjoy watching videos/photos/etc. but when you feel good... Not when you're hating the body of the system.

2°) Avoid mirrors. Reflection from the phone included.

Something that has helped me is that if the peak of discomfort catches me at a meeting/family gathering/similar and they want a group photo, I don't look at it at the moment (Other alter will do it some days after, for example). So you don't deprive yourself of creating beautiful memories for the day that we will can look at ourselves.

3°) Try to call another alter to the inner or the front to help you.

Be careful, not that they remove you from the front, from the conscience and TADAA. No, I mean someone to accompany you. Something that our therapist told us is to avoid sudden switches and seek accompaniment as far as possible. Once you are accompanied, if the situation allows it, try to focus on taking care of yourself physically and mentally.

4°) When you cannot reason with your thoughts; distract yourself.

There must be something you like to do that is not related to your source, even if it is sleeping, walking, calling a friend on the system, listening to other types of music...

3. What to do after the crisis⭐

These activities are the ones that could help you prevent and make dysmorphia peaks more manageable.

5°) Silence words that may trigger you in social media.

For example, for me they are weight and food themes. One day, the cookies on my phone detected this, it began an automatic and continuous barrage of suggestions for weight loss apps, of people talking nonsense and insulting each other. If I had taken my own advice earlier, I wouldn't have this problem now. Highly recommended //teasing tone

6°) Find a "safe outfit", if you are able find a style.

It doesn't have to be the same as in your source, just have to help the skin feel more yours. It can also help with dysphoria. This is more inherited dysphoria-themed advice from those before me in the system; our body's afab and most alters are male or non-binary.

7°) Prepare a small emergency kit with thing that you like, things that calm you down, may with a list of thing you verified before that works…

Even if it's a simple list stuck in a corner of your room, it will already make it easier for you when you start to feel bad. In my case, I have this in TO DO list... so don't try to self-impose perfection (But I'll make the kit, I promise, in due time).

8°) Remember what makes you yourself which I assure you is not just your source.

Another thing I have in TO DO list... In my case, it's really hard to validate myself without comparing me to Hueningkai (he and I have a toxic relationship //joke). I invite you to make a list as well with what friends, other alters, yourself, etc see in you that makes you be youself 💖

9°) Familiarize yourself with the face of the system.

One of our alters spent a few moments looking at ourselves in the mirror and meditating on what the face of the system was like during his front. He has the advantage of being calm and rational, maybe it will take us more to get to that point... but trying little by little can help us in the long run.

4. Remark and summary⭐

Of the five factives I'm the one that manage this issue the worst, that's why i wanted to agroup everything here and share it. It's very complicated, and even with the therapist I haven't dared to confess that I'm an introjection of an idol, btw… but step by step, don't hope perfection one day to another. I like to keep on mind that my system is with me and that I'm just as valid to making friends & just existing as any other human being.

I leave you the summary in a decorated list~ Thanks for reading my first long post!

Tips against dysmorphia as factives:

In crisis it is not time to look for answers 🪐

Don't look for photos/videos of your source on your bad days 🌎

Avoid mirrors 🌜

Try to call another alter to the inner/front that goes along with you 🌌

When you can't reason with your thoughts; distract yourself 🛸

Silence words that may trigger you on social media 🌒️

Find a "safe outfit", if you are able find a style 🌕️

Prepare a small emergency kit 🚀

Remember what makes you yourself 👽

Get familiar step by step with the face of the system 🔭

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[noodles-and-tea]

Last part whoo!!!

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4

[atissi]

cupids...ATTACK

[xitsensunmoon]

He's a bit too excited to see you clock in

[egophiliac]

I don’t think we’ve ever seen you draw knight of dawn before 🤔 what are your thoughts about him? Or take?

I've drawn him a couple of times, just really little/in the background. but I should draw him more, I love this guy a lot! I have many, many thoughts about him and the way he parallels Silver...and also I think it is extremely funny that his ghost is stuck in a ring. especially considering where that ring has been for the last 16-ish years.

[stil-lindigo]

warmth.

a comic about not being alone.

--

creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm not going back to Gusu with you.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[umblrspectrum]

"smaller mass" you say

[berenshand]

one of my favourite little things about the murderbot diaries is how present all secunit's friends are even if they're not actually physically present. it doesn't do the annoying thing where it jumps through hoops to bring back characters that aren't really relevant to the narrative but it also doesn't do the other annoying thing where it pretends they never existed either. like secunit talks about art and mensah all the time even when art or mensah aren't in the book. it's clear how bharadwaj has impacted its personal growth even when she's literally on another planet. it complains about gurathin and pin-lee when they're not there. it's still sad about miki and don abene and it mentions tapan and maro and rami even though it only knew them for a few days (because when you're new at being a person every interaction with other people is important even if it's short). iris reminds it of mensah. iris also reminds it of ratthi. its hair is fluffy bc it let amena play hairdresser off-screen and it messages her so she knows it's okay. it doesn't have to worry about protecting volescu anymore because volescu retired thank goodness. it's still using thiago's language module. etc etc etc

it's such good writing because it's such a little thing that gives the characterization and relationships greater depth and also reinforces the running theme of friendship in the series and then also subtly gives this sense of 'the people you love are a part of you/your story' and also reinforces secunit's role as a storyteller because it's constantly telling little stories about all its friends.

[commsroom]

the u.s.s. horrible unending nightmare 💥 (once again from the incredible @hehearse)

[mimimar]

finally completed my comic based on the song ivy by taylor swift!✿ please zoom in to read the text and see the details~

✿.✿.✿

you can get the digital zine pdf here! it includes extras like character profiles, costume design, more art of willow and ivy, zine-exclusive sketches and an illustrated guide to the symbolism of all the flowers in this comic.

you can also get prints of individual pages here!

✿.✿.✿

[rayroseu]

I really appreciate the beauty of Malleus New Year's card. But most importantly, other than its gorgeousness, I also appreciate how it pays so much homage to his status and character, from the flowers, the clothes, and the setting. 🥹

We know that wisterias were prevalent in his Dorm Groovy SSR, this time its another flower which is the red plum blossom here😭❤️

In Chinese philosophy, the Plum tree’s blossom is a symbol of winter ending and a herald of spring. The tree’s pale pink blossoms are cherished because they bloom vibrantly and so bravely amidst the winter chill. They symbolise perseverance and hope, as well as, beauty thriving in adverse circumstances.

The way this flower's meaning is so matched with Malleus' character is so precious. We know he's "the herald of spring" because his birth brought forth a hope that the Draconias(or the faes in general) won't die out just yet (the ending of winter) and the fact that this flower blooms even in winter probably symbolizes the fact that when he was an egg, he was still perservering to live. This also applies to his life as he grows up. With the way even if his life is riddled with loneliness and exclusion, he makes an effort to go out and adjust himself with others, he doesn't give up even if his reality consistently places him in situation where his goals can never be achieved (that is, him being accepted socially and him being ignorant of human culture but still makes an effort to understand it), he just continues to be hopeful that someone/ some place will invite him, therefore his ability to thrive in adverse circumstances.

The way he slowly rises in this card makes me feel like it symbolizes how slow paced Malleus is "in going out/getting used to outside of his comfort zone", actually lol. He described his admission to NRC as him being nervous because its an unknown place but still hopeful for the experiences that he might get(acccording to the vignette of his GloMas SSR), just like him here rising from the snow and the way he lifts the veil which makes me think he wants to see the world outside of his country's point of view with his own eyes.

Japanese tradition holds that the Plum (or ‘ume’) is celebrated as a protective charm against evil, so the ume is traditionally planted in the northeast of the garden, the direction from which evil is believed to come.

I also read this symbolism which makes me tear up lmaooo 😭Because we know in Book 7, Briarland was invaded from northeast where the Silver Owls originated from 💀 The fact that the plum blossom is a protection flower and he's surrounded with it in this card makes me think that it symbolizes how protected he was during Briarland's era 😭and another thing to dissect from his slow rise from the snow with the fact the plum blossom signifies protection is probably the fact that he took so long to hatch despite many people caring for him.

Side note that in Malleus Bloom Birthday Groovy, it implied that he was born in daytime during a snowfall, and he was happy experiencing the winter, just like in this New Years card where he's smiling against the heavy snowfall 🥹

In Japan, plum blossoms symbolize good fortune, an auspicious flower, along with pine and bamboo, and the arrival of early spring. They are often used as the design for New Year’s greeting cards and other celebratory occasions. (And maybe this is just the likely reason why this flower is here in Malleus' card and I'm overthinking it above lol

Next thing I want to mention is his clothes, that attire reminds me of the formal outfit of a Japanese Emperor (From what I searched, its called sokutai, but what Malleus wears is much more simpler I guess, its a outfit derived from it which is called ikan.) This post is a great overview about these two outfits.

Ikan is the work clothes of nobles and government officials in the Imperial Court after the Heian period. Sokutai is a formal costume for those from the Emperor to the court nobles in and after Heian period (Heian costume). Ikan is called 'tonoi (nighttime) costume', whereas sokutai is called 'hino (daytime) costume'. (which probably references the fact that he's a night fae)

The point is, what Malleus wears in this card is a very traditional garment that only high ranking Japanese officials can wear. But what he wears isn't the clothes of an emperor yet, but just for a high ranking official, which is accurate to his status that he's still a crown prince not yet the king, because only Maleficia truly rules Briar Valley right now.

I love the decision that they made him wear such a prestigious outfit because the story of the New Years event is the characters working on customer service lol Its like his clothes is a reminder that he is still highly distinguished even if temporarily he's a worker.

Lastly the VEIL !!!!!! That's the thing that catched my eyes the most in this card lol I KNOW they're not referencing a wedding here because the veil don't look the same, but its so good not to mention that the one of the headress of a Japanese bride is called tsunokakushi and its description can be related with Malleus a lot lol.

The term is a compound of 角 (tsuno, "horn") + 隠し (kakushi, "hiding"). This derivation is listed in some sources as a reference to hiding a bride's "horns" of anger, jealousy, or other negative qualities, in order to present a more virtuous image for the wedding. However, this interpretation might be a folk etymology resulting from a shift in the reading and meaning.

The headdress and the veil aren't the same thing but I kinda feel like this is the idea they're going for considering the veil is 1) hiding his horns, 2) he's a character associated with being jealous, and most importantly, 3) only the person he is looking at can see his face (which is the point of most wedding veils/headdress, to hide the bride's face so that only her partner can see it).

But long veils, like the one Malleus is holding is also just a garment for a noble to hide their nobility. Which is this is probably the likely reason, considering he's using that veil to cover up his horns and his clothes, the most obvious features of his status.

Also, it could be just a fun reference to the fact that Maleficent in live action wore a long veil to hide her horns so that she wouldn't scare the humans lol

[weevmo]

Good evening,

You'll never guess what I just posted.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60479521/chapters/156202336#workskin

Enjoy 10k more words of content.

From,

Someone actually studding to become an engineer

I ENJOYED EVERY BIT OF IT AND CAINE ESPECIALLY BUT THIS -

THIS BIT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD

[xitsensunmoon]

My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

[stil-lindigo]

the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes: