#thanks fo the ask!!!!

[toffeebrews]

Blinks @ you you know stuff on ZephyrTop? 🥺

I've only briefly read the FAQ on it so if you know anything extra 👀👉👈

Mweheheh do I know about zephyrtop? Why yes, I do *cackles*

Zephyrtop has a masterpost that you can access here, which talks about the lore for Undertop and Zephyrtale Gaster! Ink is mentioned as well, of course.

"ohh, I don't understand what this is about, about Zephrtop, what's this?"

For some reason, the links for the introduction are broken. So here's each part individually

[PT. 1 ][Pt. 2] [Pt.3]

There's also of course the iconic post with ink and his dead af dad and the continuation where he's fine?

and a possible after math (?): "[Wouldn’t want to mess with the script now, would we Big Top?]" [Pt 2???]

Misc stuff

"mmmm.. if you miss doodling them.. maybe a sketchy/doodly (doodely?) Zephyrtop comic? because i love ship fluff with plot."

"Does Aster like ASTERroids"

"Happy First Birthday to Zephyrtop"

Happy 4th Anniversary

"What about a Zephrtop clothes swap?"

bro idk what this post is

"OHMIGOD ARE YOUR GASTERS ACTUALLY MARRIED NOW~!?"

"OMG! The Gasters got married?! Congratulations on the newly weds!"

"DONT BLAME ME FOR LIKING ZEPHYRTOP TOO MUCH BECAUSE INK LIKES IT JUST AS MUCH OK"

ink, idk man, fuck you but keep saving lives too

"Ink is the biggest shipper xD. I could almost imagine him watching other aus like ' C'moncmoncmoncmonyES THEY KISSED'"

why IS gaster so gay (not lore relevant just made me chuckle)

"Zephyrtop is so adorable @_@ are they your biggest otp??"

"ZEPHYRTOP! ZEPHYRTOP! ZEPHYRTOP! ZEPHYRTOP! ZEPHYRTOP! ZEPHYRTOP! FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUF!"

"*chanting* ZEPHERTOP! ZEPHERTOP! ZEPHERTOP! ZEPHERTOP!"

"Oh? Is Aster going to show up? Come to think of it, did Undertop Sans and Papyrus ever meet Aster?"

"Undertop!Gaster has creational like magic, right? I remember he made and gave a little planet to Aster once. I’m curious, does what he make have the ability to stay? Or does it disappear after a while? His magic is so interesting!"

Heights

"How does undertop gaster and aster sound like?"

"Just a question. Did Aster and gaster ever had fights? If so, why?"

"The Gaster and Aster dancing in the tent but with no one around :3? Please and thank you"

"What kind of tricks can gaster do?"

These 2016 doodles

Also, on the @undertop account accompanying Coymet made during #ztweek, @/stylincheetah made some drabbles!! Again, I'm not sure if they're "canon," but it's a good read regardless!! Just in general, check out the tag #ztweek. All the art is very cute!! Here are the original prompts btw. These posts are:

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday (this one is canon btw)

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Ink being ink at the Zephyrtop wedding.

[companionwolf]

Autumn general selfship ask game!

🍁 What's your opinion on autumn? How does your F/O(s) feel about the season?

🍂 What kind of hot drink does your F/O(s) like, if any? Do they have a opinion on pumpkin spice as a flavor?

🎭 What would you and your F/O(s) dress up as for Halloween?

🌙 Is your F/O(s) a night owl? What do they get up to? If not, what kind of things do they dream about? Do they even remember their dreams?

🧥 Who gives the other their jacket, you or your F/O(s)?

🔥 Describe the ideal autumn day with your F/O(s)!

🎃 Does your F/O(s) like Halloween? Any strong opinions either way? Do they help give out candy? Do they go to any Halloween parties, or trick or treat themselves?

👻 Does your F/O(s) believe in ghosts? Why?

🧸 Is your F/O(s) good at gift giving? What's something they've given you if so? Do they like to receive presents? If so, what sorts of things?

🪨 What kind of trinkets does your F/O(s) collect? Anything? What's in their pockets?

💫 What quirks does your F/O(s) have? What ones do you love? Which ones of yours do they love? (Hint: it's all of them!)

🧣 Do you ever make things for your F/O(s)? Do they make things for you? If so, what?

🐈‍⬛️ What animals do you relate to your F/O(s)? What about colors, or songs? Share anything you want that you connect with them.

💭 Ever dream about your F/O(s)? Elaborate.

☕️ What's most comforting about your F/O(s) and your ship? Why?

❤️🧡 RAVE ABOUT YOUR F/O(S) 🧡❤️

[I know the grammar on this is a bit wonky; I was trying to make it inclusive of those with many F/Os. Anyway, this game is open for everyone and anyone to do.]

[pampanope]

Kiss, marry, head pats, body slam.

Hiya anon~

Kiss Adler on the scarred cheek

Marry Graves XDD

Head Pats for the Shadows~

Body Slam SHEPHERD

[mars-ipan]

Hi, it's me again. I decided to follow your advice and try to seek out your 'actually serious' analysis, which led me to your komahina bible, the most easy to find compilation of this supposed analysis. Here are my thoughts-

1) Overview

- Most of this 'analysis' isn't analysis but a summary/overview of the game. It's not so much a 'bible' as a children's book summary of the bible, which at that point it would be better to play the actual game itself. It's clear it was made for a presentation on the 'uninitiated' if you will, but if that's the case, you shouldn't be advertising it as the literal bible on the subject.

- When you are not regurgitating points from the game beat by beat, the screen is halfway filled with either manga panels or fanart. My gripes with manga panels are, that even though they do depict the events of the game, the way they can be depicted by the artist can be pretty subjective due to the freedom of the medium in comparison to sprites, and that the role of one character can differ depending on whose pov manga it is (chiaki vs nagito). Fan art therefore should be scrutinized even more since it fully depicts abstracted and even the fandomified version of events, leading to situations where it's either unclear what is actually happening or betrays your more shallow view of the characters (i talk abt this later.)

- When you do use pictures directly from the game it's either a possible screenshot from a memorable moment or dialog from the wiki, limited almost exclusively to the freetime events. This leads me to believe that you haven't actually played the game(there are other factors hinting towards this) or watched a Let's Play of it, but going off of merely information that's already widely known and circulating within the fandom, and easy to search on the wiki.

2) Incorrect/Questionable information

Here I'll compile a lot of information that's either plainly wrong or baffling to having come to that conclusion , leading more credence to the theory that you either haven't actually played the game or your memory of it isnt as good as you think.

-"if Nagito's plan went off of without a hitch, he would have killed anyone that was closes to him at the time" plainly wrong. Komaeda's goal from the start was to make himself the victim, so by dying this way his death could have meaning and help the others. For somebody that keeps talking about Komaeda's "Martyr complex" this is truly a weird take to have.

-"Nagito...got the nurse for sure sick" is there any proof that specifically points to Komaeda for this? I believe the takeaway should've been that Mikan got sick because she was around all of them AND she overworked herself trying to take care of them. Is this just an awkwardly phrased attempt to make more of a connection between Tsumiki and Komaeda? I don't think you needed more than the ones that already existed.

- "he helps Junko brainwash a bunch of students" Kamukura at neither point in the anime or Danganronpa 0 was ever specifically implicated in the brainwashing. He never 'helps' Junko, especially in that way. If you meant, participates in the student council killing game, you should've said that, but even then his agency and influence is limited.

-"they found the Remnants and captured them!"...no, they didn't. The Remnants presented themselves as survivors and the Foundation took them in. They handed themselves over willingly. It was a pretty big piece of the final part of the game...

3) Komaeda and Komahina

- "Nagito's habit of putting people on pedestals" Where. Sure, he certainly parrots the belief that the "Ultimates" as a unit are at the top of the food chain and should be prioritised, but its clear that doesn't exactly carry over to his classmates like teruteru, Kuzuryu and even Souda sometimes. Just because of a few positive comments refering to them as Ultimates and the trial which he literally breaks down in, this is a hard position to support.

-"Nagito manipulates Hajime into playing the game" How. He literally just told him to play it. How is that manipulation. Also, isn't it a bit unfair to put the blame on Koizumi's death to him as well? I think they were multiple factors playing into this, but sure, how else are you gonna convince people that Komaeda is a twisted fucking cyclepath that loves leading people to their deaths.

-The way that you say the Kuzuryu/Pekoyama relationship mirrors Komahina as 'I will give up my agency for you/ I just want you' is also confusing. Unless of course you mirror Peko's struggle with her agency and harmful beliefs the clan enforced on her with Komaeda's own belief system, in which case, idk man, i feel like you are giving a bit too much credit to the supposed severity of Komaeda's views and trying too hard to make Hinata the 'rational' and 'grounding' one in the relationship.

- Again, the amount of times you refer to Komaeda as a freak for doing something 'weird' or even being drawn weirdly doing it , mostly in the manga, makes me belief this isn't just an affectionate tongue in cheek joke as you claim, but an actual way in which your interpretation of Komaeda is colored.

-"it doesn't excuse his nonchalance towards tragedy and murder but explains it" what needs to be excused here exactly? Komaeda doesn't need to immediately bawl his eyes out when someone gets killed or else he's suspicious and...bad? I am confused with what you mean by this. If you mean that Komeada shouldn't be so nonchalant about murder because he's constantly trying to kill someone else, that is plainly incorrect and i explained above why.

-Posturing about Komaeda's 'black and white thinking' while in the next exact slide you show fanart of him smugly explaining he has Borderline. First, i want you to explain to me the black and white thinking in a way that isn't "oh, the friends and classmates i previously liked turned out to be fucking terrorists". I think that's a pretty justifiable situation for your thinking to go from white to black. Also, if that is enough credence to assign Komaeda BPD, you really don't know how BPD works, especially since you assigned it to the one character you constantly talk about being a freak (and also lust...pseudo lust? after).

- The insistence with Hinata not really understanding Komaeda and running away, even if he wants to understands him is pretty suspect, especially when compared to the game. Hinata is confused and overwhelmed yes, but it's not just that he wants to understand Komaeda but that he still feels fondness for him, he still follows his advice and puts his faith in him and the way he mourns him in Chapter 5 is also pretty indicative of this. It's just another part in the pattern in you making Hinata the confused, rational, 'morally pure' man that's 'tempted' by 'corrupted' manic pixie mentally ill demon Komaeda. Something tells me your priest AU isn't so much playing with dolls as much as...what you actually believe these characters dynamic is.

- The whole page where Servant is basically made into a joke about how hot and sexy and freaky he is doesn't help your point either.

-The most damning evidence of course is a drawing in the second to last slide, wherein Komaeda is supposed to be analogous to 'guy who has something wrong with him' (distorted, freak, mentally ill) and Hinata is analogous to the guy that 'is the only one that understands them' (the rational one, the relationship of understanding doesn't go both ways).

- Your slide with sources is pretty vague and unclear. Also the way that you credit "Your superior mind" before the game itself when all you've been doing is repeating and misinterpreting the plot of the game is ...ironic

So yeah, that's all I got. Feel free to 'debunk' my observations as much as you please, I just want to know if there's actual basis behind everything you just said or I should go digging for 'the actual serious analysis' yet again.

i think you forgot that fandom is meant to be fun

[ifindus]

🔥? Please and thanks!

🔥: my favourite rare pair

ofc it’s ScotNor 🥰 thank you!!

[izuizzy]

please take your deranged son from my hands please, hes scaring the kids/lhj

AAAAAAAAAAAAA AJALSJSKSJSKSN FOSSSS I AM NOT OKAY THE BACKWARD BENDDDDD

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM GOMMA THROW UP /j

[goldencuffs]

I don’t know if you’ve said this or if you’d prefer not to say…any rough time for 2nd chapter? I lovvvvvveeedddddd ch1 and can’t wait for more 😉

YES!!! 🙌 every 2 weeks on a friday/saturday will be the posting schedule fingers crossed!! so next chapter will be out on jan 31st/feb 1st 😊

[yellowhollyhock]

5 and 6 for 03 Raph?

5) first song that comes to mind

Born to be Wild

there are a lot of really great Raph songs but this one is almost always among the first ones I think of. fits his vibes, when I hear it I see him on his bike

On a bit of a different note, Bridge Over Troubled Water

6) what's something you have in common with this character?

In many respects I will never be as cool as Raph XD

But I do love my family very deeply much, and the few (four that I can think of) times in my life that I've regretted using hard-earned people skills to politely de-escalate a situation instead of really letting someone have it, it's always been when someone is disrespectful to one of my siblings. On the other hand, not very many people ever see me lose my temper and the ones who did have to put up with wild outbursts growing up, are the very same people I'd die to protect in an instant

so you know normal sibling stuff ❤️

[callsigndreadfrost]

I saw a Tag talking about how you sometimes think about having Jelani heal from their trauma but you'd rather keep them in the space they are in.

I just wanted to say you've done a terrific job showing how slow the healing process is with all your boys! Even if he never fully heals he has had such a fun (thats a word for it) journey and seeing how he and Angelus balance each other out and keep each other grounded is such a great way for the characters to experience the horros but still have a place to go and repair themselves.

<333

Okay first of all, thank you! OMG that is some serious high praise especially when it comes from someone as important to me as you are. Holy shit! Totally flattered right now! I saw this ask way, way earlier but had to get some cleaning done and was on standby due to car problems but I wanted to get this answered and if you don't mind me saying I'm gonna word vomit the heck out of this with so many details.

Read more's there for length.

I'm always worried that I misrepresent some things when it comes to trauma responses and after effects of it. I do so much research and add in my own experiences with stuff. I go over it over and over and over and read so much on the subject that it tends to get to me sometimes but I want this to feel as real as it feels for me.

Also, in the case of their Fallout counterparts, I didn't want a happy-go-lucky AU, I have so many others for that but mainly the Skyrim AU for it. When I revamped it (Fallout AU) I was determined for it to be the AU I come back to when I'm not doing good because as sick as it sounds it's my balm. Those three shorts I wrote are just messed the fuck up but I was going through some shit and I needed to hurt myself in a healthier way if that makes sense.

Also confession time: most of what happened in the Fallout AU is stuff taken from Oracle. Things I've only ever hinted at but was never blatant about. So yeah, long winded way of saying that what happened to Jelani in Fallout happened to him in Oracle, just slightly different and for other reasons. I feel like I downplay his trauma of it in Oracle a lot but in Oracle he was able to get help and he wasn't alone to deal with that trauma. Did it affect him? Yes, very much so, something like that isn't just tossed under the carpet and forgotten. But he had Loke, Angelus and Trevor to help him through it, not to mention actual professional help too in the form of therapy. The worst part was dealing with the guilt because he felt like he'd betrayed Angelus by letting it happen, that took him a long time to come to terms with but Angelus was right there for him. Honestly, who better than his own, at the time, boyfriend who went through years of that shit himself. Literally no one else could understand what he was going through better than him. Not Loke and not Trevor. Then years later when he dealt with Iain who outed what happened to him to everyone else opened up those old wounds if only for a little bit. Then his suicide attempt because of the whole Iain thing and finding out he's the Arch-Maker--She really messed him up emotionally and psychologically, the damage She did to him was massive and from that point on it affected him as a person and would play a part in how he dealt with future problems. Once again Angelus was there to help him through it and he was the best to do so because he understood what it was like to have that kind of self-loathing. Angelus spent almost 2 centuries hating his own existence and during that time he tried to kill himself so many times it's almost obscene to think about. So when Jelani was hurting so much that he wanted to end his own life Angelus was the perfect balance to it. That little puppy picked up the pieces because not only had Jelani done the same thing for him for centuries, he understood what it was like to go through something like that and knew him well enough to know what to do with and for him.

Then years later after the Halo virus caused him to lose control all those feelings of self-loathing came back along with a guilt that was rotting him on the inside. Again, Angelus understood. Angelus was conditioned by his abusers to believe that he's a monster and one that will eventually hurt those that he loves so he was the best one to help his,now husband, through it because Jelani felt the same way.

Both of them have a lot of trauma and they balance each other. When one's injured the other helps him and cares for him. They have such a deep love for one another that they can heal each other. Not to mention Loke, Trevor and Uthorim are there too, can't forget them.

In Fallout it played out a little different. When it happened to Jelani it was more brutal and a lot sicker in my opinion, not only that but he was left for dead and was threatened to not say anything or else they'd find him and Loke, do it again in front of Loke and then kill Loke. Not only did they do that but they threatened him with taking away one of the two people he had left. On top of all of that it happened when he was only a 17-year-old kid. I'm not downplaying severity of traumatic events due to age (Fallout he was 17 and in Oracle he was 1,126). However, like I said, in Oracle he managed to get help and had a support system. In Fallout it happened and in that same month he thought Loke had died so for a year he was completely by himself dealing with crippling trauma that led to him attempting suicide several times. It wasn't until he met Angelus that he found some sort of support.

Angelus was a huge help. Lol now that I think about it, Angelus is the only one in that AU that has zero traumas and pretty much never had anything bad happen to him. I mean, was his childhood ideal? No. Did his grandmother sell him to an ex-raider? Yeah. But if you ask him he had the time of his life and honestly he really doesn't care about any of that. Anyway, he didn't exactly know what to do with Jelani but damn it did he not try his best and I think that was nicely displayed during the second short where he talked Jelani out of shooting himself and the way he talked to him and asked what he was comfortable with. Even at its darkest that AU still has so much fluff in it between them. Even when it comes to sex Angelus is there helping him recover by being someone he can trust. One of his biggest fears is expressing his own desires when it comes to sex because he is TERRIFIED that Angelus or whoever he's having sex with will get angry and hurt 'im. So when it involves Jelani it's always really soft and tender, a lot of loving and reassuring words.

((I'm not sure if you wanna continue the polycule between Uth and the boys in Oracle and other AUs or just the Skyrim AU. That's why I left that last bit ambiguous. But I am game for it on everything but only IF you want to (don't feel pressured to, I so seriously don't wanna limit your options). 'Cause quite honestly I love the chemistry between 'em all. I think that even though sex is a vital part to their relationship it also goes beyond that, like they genuinely care and love each other in ways that are hard to put into words 'cause their actions towards one another speak better and louder.))

Like no matter how dark Oracle or the AUs (again, exception being Skyrim) can get I like to make it fluffy to even it out. And you know what even the Skyrim AU has it's share of not so nice things what with the whole Loke having to run away from home because Iain wanted to kill Jelani (at the time a baby that was less than a year old) out of some delusional sense of revenge. Angelus running away from home because his grandmother wanted to make sure he didn't "sully" the family line like his mother did and basically raising him to think the A.D. were good.

Jelani and Angelus balance each other out in this one pretty well too. Like, Angelus's entire world view is very skewed and wrong because of his upbringing and he's just angry. Deep down, behind all the glamour, the pretty words, the elegant jewels and expensive clothes and that air of superiority he is ANGRY. So meeting Jelani just kinda felt like he cooled down his anger towards everything and everyone. Jelani, Loke, Uthorim and Trevor really turned him around and he learned that his grandmother was completely wrong and to be fair to him he never really bought into the A.D. propaganda, he was just expected to and the only person in his life who was very anti-A.D. died when he was super young so he didn't have a countering point of view to his grandmother's upbringing. The Angelus a year after he moved in with the boys is an entirely different one than when he first got to Skyrim. Well, for the better anyway, he's still a spoiled brat of an elf with a superiority complex about him, it's just that now he's not an asshole about it surrounded by people that love him and he loves back.

But yeah, holy shit, long way of saying that yes, I do take great care in how I try to manage their traumas and the way they deal with 'em. Some get mostly better, like the Oracle version of Angelus and even then I think you can recover from traumatic events but you will never go back to the way you were before it happened. It took Angelus such a long time to get to the point where he had enough of punishing himself and even if Jelani was right there for him every step of the way he was the one that had to make that choice for himself. I wanted to move him past all that and I did. He's so much better now, I'd say since the 1970s. He still has moments and days that are much harder to deal with stuff but he actually wants to move past shit and has an excellent support system like Jelani who would do anything for him.

When it comes to Jelani he mostly recovered from his assault, took a few years but he recovered. The thing that to this day eats at him is guilt. He feels so much guilt for technically everything and to be honest it's all in his head but no matter how much therapy or medication he's given it just doesn't go away which was greatly exacerbated after he found out he's the Arch-Maker. He also has bouts where he feels alienated and lonely even though he isn't and he's aware of it but it just comes on and no amount of logic will pry those feelings from his head. He's torn between two identities, divine and non-divine, and it conflicts him a lot. Oracle Jelani is wounded, he's trying his best and for the most part you can see it but sometimes that wound opens up again and festers for a little bit and he has to balance dealing with it and going on with life.

Fallout version of Jelani is very broken, he went through a horror that a lot of people don't survive either by the person(s) responsible for it or by the victim's own hand. Like I said, I wanna keep him in that space he's in for selfish reasons and to be honest not everyone recovers and I wanna show that side too. Within Oracle you see a Jelani (Angelus as well, credit where credit is due) that managed to recover from surviving such a traumatic event but the Fallout version really didn't and it affects his life pretty heavily and it may be ugly but that's the reality of it.

There is the topic of whether I want him to get some type of closure by killing that ones that...you know...but in all honesty I think it'd be in vain and would only end up hurting him more. He cannot see or smell rum much less drink it because it reminds him of the man that orchestrated the entire thing so seeing him would send him into a panic. Not to mention he's a serious piece of shit, this man is not gonna go down without a fight or without saying and doing things that'll outright trigger him. As much of a capable marksman that he is Jelani would freeze like a baby deer in headlights and that could lead to getting assaulted again because let's face it, that man wouldn't be above doing it again and that's just bad all around.

The idea of revenge is not very realistic. Yes, in Oracle Loke, Angelus and Trevor got to the group that assaulted Jela but that kill was more for Loke if we're being brutally honest. They hurt his brother, they went after his brother. Keyword here being his. True revenge would've been if Jelani himself would've pulled the trigger but he didn't, he really didn't wanna face them again. He wanted to forget it ever happened and put it behind him. Loke, Angelus and Trevor were the ones that wanted recompense for what was done to their brother/boyfriend/friend. Same thing goes for the Fallout version. And to be honest exposing him to that would do more harm than good. To be honest, if I ever do write it it might be that I'm going through something and need to reach into dark content because no matter what the outcome won't land in Jelani's favor.

Honestly I have so much more to say on this topic but it's already really long.

[codychristiantreasures]

Goddamn this man bulges everywhere

Isn’t it fantastic 😍

[suugarbabe]

You're amazing btw how's your week been so far?

my last two weeks irl have actually been massively shit but then i come on here and spent time with all my babes and it gets better <3

and i have my loves i talk to daily that also help <333

i also get to go on a little mini vacay this weekend so that is helping

[kafus]

QUESTION TIME! of all the pokemon you own in games, who would you consider to be your one partner pokemon?

i saw this ask while out of the house and i just got home and am finally able to answer it. i bring this up because i want you to know i saw it specifically while in the passenger seat next to my mom and i said out loud to her "oh god someone on tumblr asked me what my one true partner pokemon would be out of all the pokemon i own in the games HOW DO I PICK JUST ONE" and she laughed LMAO

anyway i've had ample time to think about it and i'm still a little bit undecided, i own a LOT of pokemon i'm attached to, BUT... i think it has to go to neverhappy. it's been a hot minute since i've posted about her so idk how many people know about her. she's a roserade so she can't be moved into SV and therefore i haven't brought her up that much lately, but

you can read more about her in this ancient post i wrote (i would rewrite this now but oh well), it's one of my oldest original posts on this blog. but tldr; she's a rescue from a secondhand platinum cartridge i bought who was named this in the PC as a budew, obviously a joke about how they were never going to use her so she would never experience happiness-based evolution, and i took her and got every single possible ribbon on her from gen 4 and up and she's one of my most loved pokemon ever. i care very deeply about her, she represents a lot for me in real life too, and even though roserade isn't even one of my favorite pokemon on its own, neverhappy specifically is definitely one of my most cherished pokemon who i want to have with me for a very long time

[animatedjen]

Hi! So I am relatively new to the Jedi games but became so quickly and deeply obsessed, and seeing another user send you a headcanon has inspired me to share one too, because I have no one I can talk about this stuff with IRL, haha. I guess a warning that it's kinda nsfw (like, VERY mildly), so it's TOTALLY okay if you don't want to post this.

Ever since finishing the game I've been thinking so much about Merrin and Cal and how their relationship will change now that they've admitted and embraced the fact that they have feelings for each other. Part of me for a while was thinking maybe Cal had his "first time" with someone he met through the Rebellion in the five-ish years between Fallen Order and Survivor, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that it would be more in character for him to uphold the part of the Jedi code that forbids romantic attachments. Like, he was just so focused on fighting the Empire that even when a slight interest in a person did arise within him, he convinced himself that it was not only against the code, but a distraction from the fight. So, he pushed all those feelings away.

This leads me to my headcanon that Cal's first time is with Merrin after the events of Survivor. While I don't have lots of specifics in mind as to when or how it comes about, I imagine that when it does happen, it is the softest, slowest, sweetest first time in the history of first times. I like the idea of Cal, this person who dives headfirst into everything and (as Cameron once said himself) "kind of likes to fight," just being incredibly thoughtful and deliberate and maybe even nervous about allowing himself to be that vulnerable with another person. Like, all these powerful emotions and powerful physical feelings would be overcoming him, and the sheer magnitude of it all would cause him to slow down and ask Merrin to lead the way, and he'll follow, so that he knows he's not hurting her or taking things too fast.

And Merrin, who is always ribbing him and teasing him and having silly banter about who's stronger, who's faster, etc., abandons all of that during their first time and is just purely kind, patient, attentive, and present with him, taking pleasure in taking the lead and cherishing the trust that he's put in her. And when it's over, I like to think they just lay together talking quietly for who knows how long, with Cal holding Merrin tight against him and Merrin tracing her fingers along his skin, maybe along his tattoo or his scars, while they tell each other stories and pretend like they'll never have to get up and leave this wondrous place <3

My offline Star Wars community is pretty small, so it's nice to have people on here to share ideas with :) So glad you enjoy the Jedi games!!

There's a lot of narrative weight to Cal and Merrin: the Nightsister massacre being led by a lightsaber (Grievous), the manipulation from Malicos, the Jedi views of attachment and dark magick. They're both survivors of a war that destroyed their families, and they take turns helping each other heal and grow.

Almost every main character in FO/Survivor is a foil to Cal in some way - but unlike all these fallen Jedi, Merrin looks to the future and finds new purpose while still honoring her past. I think that's something Cal really admires in her.

I love the trust and steadiness that they have together regardless of romantic attraction. Admittedly I haven't read Battle Scars and didn't go into Survivor wanting a relationship for Cal, so I may not be the best person to share intimacy headcanons with?? But I'm supportive of the story Respawn wants to tell, and recognize the weight/importance of their connection when it comes to Jedi 3. These tags on my recent post are kind of where I'm at:

Also Star Wars is very much lacking in the "healthy relationship that LASTS and no one DIES" department so if these two can break the trend, that'd be great 🙌

[grand-regent-thragg]

I want to see your [emperorxregent] I'm ashamed but I like this boat. 💝💌😳🤭

anon you've come to the right blog

[orchidyoonkook]

Helloo, i hope you're doing well!! I just found your page yesterday, bc of "to what we were before" and i can say with my whole heart that I'M IN LOVE WITH IT, like i've reread every chapter, and i REALLY hope this doesn't come across as rude, but i wanted to ask if you happen to have idea of when will you be able to post the next part 💕✨ first of all thank you for writing this for free and in your free time, can't imagine the time and work it takes to create something so beautiful 💕💕💕

I saw you going through them!! Made my heart smile so much!!

I'm so so so happy you've liked their story so far!! there's still so much of it left to share so I hope you'll stick around or pop back in every now and then to catch up with them!! <33

yo-you REREAD??? EVERY?? CHAPTER????? brb need a second or 500 in the cry corner 😭😭😭😍😍

it absolutely doesnt come off as rude, I know it's been a hot minute and i said id get the next one out two months ago and then didn't. thats on me. All i can say is i really wanna get it out soon, but I'm in the process of moving at the moment, as well as some irl stuff i wont share here cuz ~privacy~ but I love them as much as you guys do and i wanna share there story, so even if its a while between postings, the project is never abandoned.

as for a timeline. hopefully before april. I start the move to the new place officially march 1, so it's mostly packing and stratagizing and more packing and stressing and all those wonderful joys of moving youre entire life into a new box to dwell in, so all i can say is soon. I hope thats okay!

and thank you so much for your kind words. I really do try my best with these chapters and their story. I want to make sure i relay it to readers as best as i can, and sometimes that just takes time.

I can tell you tht the next chapter is at 13.1k right now, and i still have some edits to go. So i hope the length combats the wait time in the end.

Thank you so much for giving them a chance <3

[eldritchships]

ive never actually played val so i dont really know all that much abt cypher. whats he like tell me. i read a little about him once on a whim bc i was going to write an fo letter for u but i ended up going w someone else i think bc i was too nervous that id get his voice wrong LOL so help me rectify this. educate me

I've got you! Welcome to Cypher 101

So Cypher is an information broker and hacker. He works for Valorant as their surveillance guy or gets his hands dirty taking part in their black ops missions. Personality-wise he is cheeky and good humoured - he pushes people’s buttons and he has affectionate nicknames for a bunch of his fellow operatives - and overall, nothing seems to phase him.

But THEN!! Then you find out that he had a wife and child who he adored, and from the sounds of it, they were taken from him prematurely. You can tell based on some of his voice-lines and supplementary material that the pain of losing them still haunts him. On the outside he looks so cool-headed and effortlessly unknowable, but he is a paranoid, deadly, trained killer who keeps everyone at arm’s length.

The mask is an important part of this. Cypher’s face is completely obscured by a mask (He’s covered head-to-toe, in fact, but the mask is the focal point) and he never takes it off. Nobody has seen his real face in years. His anonymity is deathly important to him. He’s obsessed with knowing everyone else’s secrets but nobody gets to know his.

The layers he has are everything to me. At first glance you could confuse him for the lone wolf character, but he’s constantly laughing and winding other people up, but then you look even deeper and find out how hardened he is by what he does. I love this guy. I need to squeeze him like a beanie baby.