#I was obsessed with it during Covid but it doesn’t have much of a fandom 😭

[okaratauri]

Mira shenanigans

[dorothytv10]

A love letter to Bughead shippers!

*Warning: this is very very long, so only continue reading if you have time to spare 😜

I haven’t been part of the Bughead fandom since the beginning of 2019. I watched the show in chronological order until the end of season 3, then binged season 4 during covid lockdowns, but refused to continue with season 5 onwards. But over the past few years, I have kept up with spoilers and watched s5-7 episodes sporadically. I just couldn’t take the show seriously when they had Betty cheat on Jughead, then do a random time jump and turn the show supernatural. It was jarring!

I still remember the first time I started shipping Bughead. Let’s start from the beginning:

I had seen ads for Riverdale about a week before it aired, and decided to give it a watch purely because I am such a sucker for murder mystery style shows. That was the catalyst. I also have a tendency to invest in CW shows because of how heavily they push shipping, and romance is another genre that I cannot get enough of. I remember watching the pilot episode and thinking this whole Betty & Archie storyline is just NOT compelling nor did I feel the actors and their characters had any romantic chemistry. It just felt forced and awkward, especially watching Betty get rejected. I thought she was way too good for him, and if he couldn’t see that in all the years they were friends, then he ain’t the right guy for her. But some part of me just expected them to be the main love story of the show because that’s such a predictable trope in teen dramas. So even though I didn’t feel any part of my shipping senses tingling, I decided to continue with the show for the mystery part, and accepted that the romance would just not play a factor in my interest. But boy was I wrong! The following week, I watched episode 2, and the show just felt different. Jughead was featured more heavily and finally shared the screen with Betty, even though no dialogue was exchanged. But I remember thinking to myself, “Jughead and Betty would be so cute together”. During the week after episode 2 aired, I remember their season 1 kiss from episode 8 leaked online: the one outside FP’s trailer. I saw that one scene on Twitter and was instantly a Bughead shipper. I couldn’t believe that I got my wish and Betty and Jughead were going to have a romance. Riverdale went from “a show I’ll watch when I can be bothered to a must watch show that I will not dare miss an episode of”. Episode 3 started getting promoted online a lot, and Betty and Jughead were shown to interact in the trailer; I was hooked. I couldn’t wait for the next episode! It became an obsession. I even joined tumblr and met so many amazing fellow Bughead shippers. It was such an exciting time, waiting every week for a new episode to drop to finally see them get to that ep8 kiss, which I foolishly believed was going to be their first kiss. But episode 6 threw us all a curveball and had Jughead kiss Betty and call her Juliet in the same scene. I literally had butterflies. I hadn't felt that strongly about a ship in so long!

I was a big part of the early Bughead tumblr days. We were a force to be reckoned with. Each episode, our fanbase grew bigger to the point where we were the most popular ship out of every show airing at the time.

But as much as I wanted Bughead to be endgame, there was always this part of me that worried she’d inevitably get with Archie because that was so clearly what RAS shipped in the comics. I do believe Bughead lasted as long as they did because of how big and strong their fanbase was. Also, the real life romance between Cole and Lili always played a huge role in their onscreen coupling, too. That doesn’t diminish how beautiful their love story was in the show. But unfortunately, I think it is the truth. I have seen it so many times in teen drama shows. The head writers always seem to ship the pilot episode ship: Dawson and Joey, Stefan and Elena, Lucas and Peyton etc. I’m using examples of previous teen love triangles.

As much as RAS loved Bughead, and wrote them such beautiful content, he always had one foot pedalling on B*rchie. It was inevitable that at some point they’d want to explore them, especially because they had placed little clues all throughout the first few seasons. But as long as Cole and Lili were together, the show was never going to be daring enough to go full steam ahead with B*archie. Bughead was too popular and so was the real life romance. It would have caused riots. But alas, like every CW actors who date, they broke up. And what happened? They were kept apart for the remainder of the show. It was Delena all over again :(

Whether the rumours are true about the two not being able to work together, only they truly know. But I think it’s a mix of a lot of things, including new writers who were clearly all for the other ship, or in this case, the other shit. I don’t want to insult anyone, but the Riverdale writers are some of the most incompetent writers in the industry. Their inability to maintain continuity, and all the contradictions and character assassinations they created, we had no hope in s5-7. It became a whole new show. It simply lost its spark, which was already quite dim after how they handled the cheating arc in season 4. There was a huge tonal shift, and our favourite characters acted OOC.

So here’s what I really want to say:

I officially stopped watching Riverdale when they decided to jump the gun and have Betty cheat on Jughead with Archie. If you’re a Bughead shipper, it’s completely justifiable to be disappointed and sad about the way Riverdale ended. It’s like when people talk about that one person who got away, that’s how Bughead is to us: it’s the ship that got away, and never came back. To be fair, the show was no longer what it started out as. When you start off as a teen drama show promoting thriller/mystery as your main genre, only to shift gears in later seasons and become supernatural and sci-fi, there’s really only one way to explain the show in a cohesive and logical manner: it’s either all inside one of the character’s imaginations or it’s a multiverse with totally new characters who are the doppelgänger/counterparts of the original characters we knew in the beginning. So it no longer really counts. I don’t think we will ever get any definitive answers and closure from RAS nor the cast about why Bughead was completely abandoned after they broke up on the show, but I’m going to give you my take on how I think the last episode played out. Take it as you want, but I am a budding writer myself, and from a writer’s point of view, this is my theory on what really happened to Bughead in the end…

Consider the show a multiverse at this point. Remember that line Jughead said to Betty in 4x17? “in what future are we not together?”

It’s the same episode she cheats on Jughead. My theory is that the show shifted into another universe/timeline (whatever you want to call it) to show us the versions of Betty and Jughead that don’t have a future together. By her kissing Archie, she irrevocably changes the course of her relationship with Jughead. So that’s what we are shown, a new world where Betty kisses Archie and she and Jughead split and don’t end up back together again. And what is this new world? It’s really dark!

Bughead had been referred to as Romeo & Juliet, soul mates and endgame in the earlier seasons. That’s exactly what they are. But what are Romeo and Juliet referred to? Star-crossed lovers. No matter what, they could never be together. But I’ll get back to that later on.

In my opinion, there are 3 universes shown to us in the show’s run:

1 is the prime universe and original timeline in which Bughead are together and endgame. No cheating takes place. They are still in high school and will continue to date after it and make it work. But we’ll never get to see it unfold because from the end of s4 onwards we are in the other universes.

The second universe is the one where she ends up with Archie — Rivervale or Riverdale 2, but they all die in the end when the comet wipes them out of existence 👀

And the third universe is Riverdale 3.

Seasons 1-4 are set in the prime Riverdale universe.

Then season 5-6 are set in the second universe— Rivervale/Riverdale 2. My opinion is that even after 6x05, they never really left rivervale. Bunker Jughead just wrote it differently and called it Riverdale.

Then season 7 is set in the Riverdale 3 universe.

The Rivervale universe has all the magic and supernatural elements to it, which technically began in s5 with Cheryl performing magic. Rivervale is the darkest universe and timeline of the 3. Riverdale 3 universe is the most tame and fun of all the 3 universes. It’s the one where the characters behave like actual teens and don’t have serial killer fathers, cults, gargoyle kings and evil warlocks tormenting them. Riverdale 1 universe is the most realistic and grounded of the lot, albeit some weird storylines did occur during seasons 3 and 4, but it’s the universe that has both light and dark inside it like real life. Tabitha confirmed there is a multiverse in 7x19 when she said she couldn’t untangle “all” the timelines and instead made them into a single one. But even though she gave them back their memories, these versions existing in the 50s/Riverdale 3 universe are really not the original characters. This theory is proven by how a lot of dead characters are alive in this universe and how Tabitha has another version of herself living in this one.

The one single timeline she is talking about is that she gave them all the memories from every universe so they can live their lives with the knowledge of their other selves. Especially when having to navigate the 50s. They are variants (Loki reference) of the originals who now have the same memories (not all the memories) but haven’t actually lived the same lives. That’s why none of them aged and are still teens in high school; it’s also why they no longer have super powers and magical abilities. Same memories, but different bodies and souls.

So going back to endgame talk: in Riverdale 3, the universe which all of season 7 takes place in, including the final, Betty and Jughead weren’t technically endgame, but they were treated as star-crossed, just like Romeo & Juliet. They couldn’t be together because all of their memories from every other universe/timeline they existed in were now a part of them and it was too convoluted of a situation to actually make sense of in their heads, so they just all dated one another. In this new Riverdale 3 universe, Betty has feelings for both Archie and Jughead because she has the memories of both universe 1 and universe 2 Betty inside her, so she can never really choose between them. Instead, she chooses herself.

Jughead never marries because the girl he has always loved in every universe didn’t want to get married, so he didn’t want to settle for just anyone. Archie moved on because Betty was never the love of his life in all 3 universes.

Ask yourself this, why did Betty tell Reggie that she remembered what being with Jughead felt like, and that’s why she chose to be a part of the quad? Why didn’t she feel this way about Jughead in s6 (Rivervale/Riverdale 2 universe)? Wasn’t it strange that she just seemed to forget she was ever with him? It’s because it was a different timeline/universe, one in which Betty only loves Archie. That is why Jughead has that moment in season 6 episode 14 with that flashback montage of him and Betty, it’s him remembering their relationship from universe 1, something he isn’t really aware of in the Rivervale/Riverdale 2 timeline. The reason for them not remembering is because Bunker Jughead from Rivervale has written them to forget their past together. My theory for why he did that, is after the bomb went off in 6x05, part of the deal was that bunker Jughead make Betty forget being with him completely just like she had to forget that he sacrificed himself to save the universes. He retconned their story so she could move on and he could continue writing away from her with no distractions. Rivervale’s Bunker Jughead loves Betty, as confirmed by Ethel. Which brings me to the final part of this theory…

I think bunker Jughead is the same Jughead that appears to Betty in the final episode as her guardian Angel. He’s OG Jughead and has been writing an anthology all along. There is a reason the show is so heavily focused on Betty. She is the main character in Jughead’s story! In S1-4 he is chronicling his love story with Betty, kind of like an autobiography or diary of them and how they’re an investigative duo. In S5-6 he ventures into writing sci-fi and supernatural stories. Finishing up in s7 with historical fiction.

The angel Jughead in the series finale is the writer, the narrator and the version of Jughead that Betty loved most as evidenced by what he wore. He exists in all 3 universes, like a time-traveller of sorts. He’s the writer and narrator in Universe 1, the bunker writer in universe 2 and the guardian Angel in universe 3. But he took his version out of the story these last few seasons to show the audience a future with no Bughead, and instead wrote a version of Jughead that doesn’t pine after Betty and one that had a different girlfriend. That’s why when universe 3 Betty asks him on the park bench if he regrets never getting married, he says sometimes. Because he sometimes regrets never writing the two of them getting married in this universe. But he couldn’t because his version of Jughead wasn’t the main Jughead he was writing about in this story.

In the end, his universe 3 story wasn’t about Bughead, it was about Betty and wanting to give her everything she dreamed of, even if that didn’t include him. He wrote her a world where she didn’t have a serial killer father, where her sister was still alive, where she and Veronica were best friends, where Betty could enjoy her youth and explore her sexuality without having to choose between the two boys she was always torn between. He wrote her as a writer and a successful career woman rather than an FBI agent chasing down murderers and putting herself in danger. He wrote her as adopting a daughter that wasn’t at risk of inheriting the serial killer gene. He wrote a world where she got to be a normal teen and not have to investigate homicidal maniacs all the time. She got to go to school dances, drink milk shakes at Pops and hang out with her friends. She was able to repair her damaged relationship with her mum and find peace. She was a liberated woman with a strong voice who made a difference in the world.

So why did the show end with this version of her? Because it’s a way to show Betty finding peace and strength, and also not having to choose between Jughead and Archie. It makes her more than just a girlfriend who goes back and forth between two best friends.

This whole theory is further evidenced by beanie Jughead appearing outside Pops in the final scene and then hearing his typewriter as the show fades out. This was Jughead’s story all along, and the main character was Betty. It’s always been about Betty. The reason Jughead and Betty didn’t have any romantic scene in the series finale is because this wasn’t beanie Jughead’s Betty. This was the version of Betty that ends up with no one. It’s the last version of her that Jughead wrote in his book. The version of her that’s truly happy and at peace with herself and her life. He wrote her saying goodbye to Archie because that was not her endgame. Archie was just a childhood crush that existed in a fantasy world filled with magic and unrealistic scenarios like sewing on decapitated heads and bringing people back from the dead. Rivervale universe was never real and never made sense, just like Betty and Archie never made sense. And guess what happened to Betty in universe 2? She died, just like B*rchie did in the finale 😉

The only version of her that is still alive is the original one from Universe 1 that ends up with Jughead. We didn’t need to see their endgame on screen to know it happened. Their endgame is in the subtext. Jughead always loved Betty, and his story was about her. In universe 1 they are endgame, in universe 2 they are soul mates as bunker Jughead is able to do the impossible and contact her in Riverdale from Rivervale. And in universe 3 they are Romeo and Juliet. She spent her last day on earth with him, and died the day after finding out he died. They were star-crossed and couldn’t be together. The writing is on the wall.

As much as I would have loved an I love you, a kiss or even just a conversation discussing their history in the last episode, I take comfort in knowing that the characters I fell in love with in season 1 were completely different people in season 7. And from where I stand, the only explanation is it’s one big multiverse of madness concocted by a sardonic writer who was always in love with the girl next door, and spent most of his youth writing about her only to end the story with them both forever being 17. That is the same age they were when they were together and in love. It’s the same age their iconic duet is about. They just wanted to be 17, and that’s exactly how the show ends for them. Screams endgame to me :)

Just remember, nothing lasts forever. The greatest moments in life are the ones that don’t last long but leave a lasting impression. It’s the reason why we are so enthralled when we see a shooting star. It’s something so beautiful, yet so rare, so fleeting and near impossible to see with the naked eye that we stare in sheer wonderment at a dark sky full of dead stars waiting and hoping that such a spectacle will reveal itself to us again. So don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. And never lose hope; it’s the only voice inside of you strong enough to silence fear.

Thanks for the memories, Bughead family! Even though I haven’t been around the last few years, it’s an experience I’ll never forget, and I’ve made met people on here that I will be friends with for life ❤️❤️❤️

[monstermaster13]

Rooting for Team Aykroyd.

~~~~~

Sometimes what starts out as a harmless fandom fascination becomes an obsession and mutates to almost viral proportions. Nathan Forester definitely could attest to that, it started in early 2020 with his Dan Aykroyd fandom, he had been getting a lot of attention from the Aykroyd fandom and they really started to fawn over and admire him. But they were especially drawn to the Were-Aykroyd he wrote about, they loved him, they thirsted for him and they wanted him…they wanted him to unleash that inner Aykroyd out. But he was always reluctant to unleash the inner Aykroyd because he knew it would be dangerous but yet he was so tempted to do it. So tempting it was for him to try and transform.

One night he was thinking about that and what it meant for him to gain these Were-Aykroyd powers, he didn’t remember anything much about turning into the Were-Aykroyd form, all he remembered was that Vic hypnotized him and as a Were-Aykroyd, his first Aykroyd character transformation was into Roman Craig and just how thicc and sexy he looked in that form, and he didn’t know whether it was a curse or a blessing, but as a side-effect of turning into a Were-Aykroyd he found that he had superhuman strength and hypnotic powers which he could use to his advantage, but he also found that both sexes had become attracted to him. ‘It’s all so sudden yet I love it, why?’ he couldn’t help but think about that dream he had during the first wave of Covid-19, the library scene in particular. It took place in England, and had Aykroyd characters in it.

That scene in particular made him ponder, the scene in particular had him hiding out from these Aykroyd characters but he wondered why…the characters weren’t going to hurt him but they were chasing after him anyway. ‘Why was I so afraid of them? They didn’t seem like they wanted to hurt me.’ As he did, he looked around and saw that he was about to go into another vision, but as he did he noticed that he sensed something was wrong. A chill ran down his spine as he heard the voices. ‘Naaaathan, Naaathan.’ ‘What? Oh no…don’t tell me.’ He looked around and that’s when he saw them, the Aykroyds from the dream.

“Oh no, this can’t be.”

“Hello dear brother.”

“Not you guys again.”

‘Aaaaw..what’s wrong brother? You don’t seem like your typical Aykroydian self.’ ‘Yeah, you look like you don’t want to play with us. Don’t you love us?’ ‘I do it’s just…I was NOT expecting you to be here.’ ‘Oh weren’t you? Don’t you worry, we know how to make you feel better.’

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want you around, it’s just I am afraid.”

“Afraid of what? You’re our brother, the Were-Aykroyd.”

‘Exactly, i’m afraid of losing myself again and becoming him. I cannot control the transformations sometimes and you guys just don’t help in the slightest.’ ‘Are you saying we don’t help you? Because we do help you, we help you a lot.’ ‘In what way? Hypnotizing me and turning me into the Were-Aykroyd?’. ‘Oh yes, and it feels wonderful doesn’t it? To let go of your troubles and to become he.’ ‘Look, I love having Were-Aykroyd powers and all but I wish I could control him, he’s dangerous. He’s like Leatherface but with Hannibal Lecter’s brilliant intelligence and Herbert West thrown in.’

“Now now, don’t you just love turning into him? I know you love it.”

"It's strange though being him…"

"But isn't your Aykroydian form so thicc and sexy?"

"Uhhhhhhhh."

Nathan turned and he saw Grocer from Grosse Pointe Blank…’As a member of your extended brotherhood of Aykroyds i’d like to say that I think you need to embrace your Aykroydian side more often. I mean we love you as yourself but also the Were-Aykroyd is part of you too, and whether or not you want to embrace it, that’s who you are…at night at least.’ ‘I suppose you’re right.’ ‘Look, we’re all a little bit insane here. I mean look at me.’ ‘True, you are one of the craziest Aykroyd characters, next to J.P Valkenheiser of course.’

“Now don’t you feel a lot better?”

“Not really..”

The monsterologist decided to head for the door and make a run for it, which he did…running through the lab and making a dash towards the kitchen. He wasn’t one of those characters in horror movies that is too stupid to know they are being chased by a killer or anything, oh no…he knew that the Aykroyds would likely follow him so he decided to take a second shortcut towards the living room and his library, he opened up a skull bookcase which took him to a special hiding spot. ‘Those Aykroyds won’t get me here.’ He closed the doors and windows but just as he did, he began to think about that dream, those Aykroyds were after his best friends in the dream and they were trying to turn those friends too. There was that scene in which a woman got transformed and Aykroyded up and that made him jealous. He blushed, feeling embarrassed that he liked the idea of that happening.

He made a run for it again before hiding behind a book-shelf, only to encounter the Aykroyds again. ‘There you are.’ ‘Oh no, how did you guys get here?’ ‘You can’t hide from us, and we know that you cannot resist our Aykroydian charm.’ Nathan panicked, looking at Austin Milbarge and Elwood, before looking back at Grocer and feeling foolish. ‘I know, it’s just…I.’ ‘What is it?’ ‘I’ve been thinking about all those people getting Aykroyded up in my dream, and I want it to happen to me.’

Darren ‘Mother’ Roskow looked over at Nathan and got ecstatic…’you want to be the Were-Aykroyd we know and love and also want to Aykroyd out? That’s great, I thought we were going to have to force you to do it.’ 'Aaaaw, you wouldn't do that.' 'Of course, not if you asked nicely.' 'Can I become…a Were-Aykroyd like you tell me that I am?', 'Why yes…' 'Tell me the Aykroyd character you dreamed about when you had the dream.'

"Jimmy Flaherty."

"Ah, a favorite of mine."

Vic used his voice and his alluring electric blue eyes to put Nathan into a trance-like state and helped him to remember the dream. 'Vic, I remember everything that happened. I remembered I was running from you, I was running away from all those Aykroyds, because they were after my friends.' 'But we didn't mean to, we just wanted your friends to know how grateful we are for you and your wonderful twisted mind and for bringing us into your world.'

"So you didn't mean to do that?"

"We wouldn't harm anyone we consider a friend of yours, brother."

"That's good."

"Now are you ready to become an Aykroyd?"

"Yes…i'm ready to be the Were-Aykroyd I know I am."

Nathan drifted off and concentrated, thinking about the dream and how erotic the transformation sounded in description…becoming a thicc, sexy Were-Aykroyd. He remembered looking in the mirror and seeing Dan Aykroyd stare at him back, this was natural. 'You like the idea of becoming Jimmy don't you?' 'Mmmm…yes, chubby thicc sexy Jimmy Flaherty.' 'Envision yourself becoming him.' 'Yes, brothers.' A warm sensation slowly crept up his arms, his arms themselves slowly broadened and contorted, a selection of hairs slowly grew on them as the hairs darkened while also sprouting on his hands which enlarged. The hairs on his hands also darkened as his skin matured.

In the dream in which this happened, he remembered a hypnosis sequence and that sequence along with the infamous massage sequence made him want to happen and to become Aykroydian, he remembered that it was natural to have those kind of feelings, he was a Were-Aykroyd after all and he wanted to embrace that part of him. He was a KING Were-Aykroyd after all, who had been taught how to master his abilities. It wasn't easy though, each night he would have dream after dream of turning and he'd turn, slipping off into a trance-like state and letting Dan take over him.

"Doesn't that feel so good? Look at you, you're going to be perfect as Jimmy."

"I am?"

"Oh yes…"

The Were-Aykroyd was more than just any old Were-Aykroyd though, and he was the top of his type in terms of his power and prowess, he could hypnotize others and make them Aykroydian too and he loved it. Nathan couldn't help but purr as his torso and chest slowly broadened, pumping up as brownish hairs slowly grew on them and downwards to his stomach, making him groan and feel oh so good about it. His stomach slowly plumped up as his shirt strained, buttons popped off the shirt as his shirt slowly turned into a green and brownish shirt with various badges that reflected the Boston Celtics basketball team. He had always tried to hide his Were-Aykroydism from his friends, but the Were-Aykroyd always found a way to surface, making him want to transform, making him want to be this thicc powerful Aykroydian champion.

"Look how thicc and adorable you're looking at the moment, at this rate…you'll be quite a sexy beast."

"Me? Sexy?"

"Now don't be modest, you know the Were-Aykroyd side is extraordinarily sexy."

Those dreams he often had about transforming were a calling to him, a calling to him via the Were-Aykroyd and his hypnotic influence, he couldn't hide from that side of him for long and he knew that the urge to spread his Aykroydian gift to his closest friends was getting closer and he couldn't help but imagine his friends being transfrmed and turned into fellow Were-Aykroyds. 'I wouldn't do that to my friends.' 'Oh but don't you want them to be as thicc and sexy as you are.'

"I guess so…"

"Don't you mean you know so?"

"Uhhh…maybe, but mmm…is this transformation supposed to be THIS sexy?"

He examined his transforming body and couldn't help but purr a little bit as he felt his legs contorting and growing, in the process his rear gradually plumped up, it was always this part of the transformation that entranced him, making him want it, being such a 'good Were-Aykroyd', he couldn't help but embrace what was happening to him as his jeans warped bit bit by it into a pair of pants that went with the top of his outfit, he didn't remember being a fan of the 'Boston Celtics' but the Were-Aykroyd within was telling him that he was. His height adjusted itself from 5'7 to 6'1 as his shoulders and back broadened, he groaned as he examined his appearance in the mirror…his eyes gave off a supernatural glow for a few seconds as if he had been possessed, which was basically how it went when it came to being taken over by the Aykroyd side of him.

Turning Aykroydian made him feel more alive than her ever felt, he examined his belly and his arms, looking down at his shoes…he could hear them cracking and tearing as his feet slowly and gradually contorted and enlarged, his shoes and socks tearing apart to reveal his larger feet, as a tingling sensation connected two of the toes on each foot to the knuckle, his feet now fully Aykroyd-like. When he first turned into the Were-Aykroyd, he felt soooo alien in his transforming body…but yet he wondered why it felt so erotic to see himself become like this, looking in the mirror he sometimes he would become entranced by his own Aykroydian appearance.

His neckline altered while his hair became wavier, turning darker as his forehead pulsated and grew and his eyebrows thickened. One eye turned green while the other remained brown and his eyes widened, his nose broadened as a small cleft materialized in the middle of it as his features plumped up and contorted. His features slowly and gradually becoming Aykroydian, looking down he knew he was turning into Jimmy Flaherty and there was no way of getting around it. Turning Aykroydian made him feel more alive than her ever felt, he examined his belly and his arms, looking down at his shoes…he could hear them cracking and tearing as his feet slowly and gradually contorted and enlarged, his shoes and socks tearing apart to reveal his larger feet, as a tingling sensation connected two of the toes on each foot to the knuckle, his feet now fully Aykroyd-like. When he first turned into the Were-Aykroyd, he felt soooo alien in his transforming body…but yet he wondered why it felt so erotic to see himself become like this, looking in the mirror he sometimes he would become entranced by his own Aykroydian appearance. His neckline altered while his hair became wavier, turning darker as his forehead pulsated and grew and his eyebrows thickened. One eye turned green while the other remained brown and his eyes widened, his nose broadened as a small cleft materialized in the middle of it as his features plumped up and contorted. His features slowly and gradually becoming Aykroydian, looking down he knew he was turning into Jimmy Flaherty and there was no way of getting around it. His voice deepened and contorted, his accent and tone slowly shifting into an Aykroydian imitation of a Bostonian, in his mind he was beginning to feel like he always had that voice and that appearance, and like he was a fan of the Celtics. ‘That’s right, I always love my Celtics.’ ‘That’s right, Jimmy…of course you do.’

A couple of minutes later his mind and personality altered, becoming Aykroydian and reflecting those of the character he was turning into…’Nathan’ didn’t seem to matter anymore, as there was now only the Were-Aykroyd and this Were-Aykroyd chose to be Jimmy Flaherty from Celtic Pride. Jimmy had enlisted the help of these other Aykroyds to turn one of his friends into a Were-Aykroyd, he set up a special gaming area near the research center but this gaming center was cursed. Basically whoever entered it would end up turning into a Were-Aykroyd. And Jimmy knew Nathan’s friend Victoria was likely investigating the place. Surely enough, she was. The mischief loving, halloween obsessed prankster queen was exploring the place dubbed ‘Neonvale’ to investigate the rumors of the Were-Aykroyd curse.

She hadn’t gotten far when she saw a spare machine/console that hadn’t been touched and as she began to give it a test run, the console worked fine but then she saw something startling in the video screens, she saw a video image of herself, but it was one that was of her turning into a Were-Aykroyd. Thinking quickly she stepped away from the console and looked in the reflection of the screen, only to hear an unsettling gurgling sensation coming from her stomach, she gasped as she clutched onto her stomach. She examined her arms as they slowly broadened and contorted, developing hairs on them that turned a darker shade of brown, her hands slowly broadened too as her purple nail-polish began to fade and hairs sprouted forth on the palms of her hands, her fingers thickened in the process. She attempted to cast a spell to undo the transformation but it seemed that she was already beginning to turn, her dark purple tank top with the five or six different buttons tightened while her torso and chest broadened, her skin slowly matured as it lost some of its somewhat pale appearance, she looked at her chest in time to see her breasts retract into it, brown hairs slowly coated her chest and torso and headed downwards towards her stomach which pumped up and inflated, pushing against her top and causing the buttons to pop off.

With a couple of ripping sounds her top ripped off, remaining only a few partial parts of it on her upperbody which was much larger than usual as her legs contorted and bulked in size, lengthening as her shapely rear began to lose its curves but thicken, growing larger than normal and straining against the back of her leggings, her privates altering into the more masculine variant as her thicc rear threatened to burst out of the back of her leggings. She grasped her rear with her hands and began to feel…oddly entranced by it, she couldn’t help but look at herself in the screen’s reflection and see the thicc sexy Were-Aykroyd she was so obviously mutating into. There was a loud creaking and cracking sound as her feet enlarged, swelling and contorting, and bursting out of her black boots and through her socks as two of the toes on each foot conjoined at the knuckle, becoming webbed in appearance.

She groaned as her back and shoulders broadened, she slowly grew in height to 6’1 as her neckline altered, her hair turning from her normal blackish color to dark brown as her forehead grew and pulsated, her brow contorting as her eyebrows thickened and her eyes widened. One of her eyes turned from blue to brownish while the second one turned green, as her nose broadened and small cleft materialized in the middle of it, her features slowly plumped up and contorted, slowly warping and morphing…becoming less like her own and more Aykroydian as her voice deepened and matured to match her appearance. It wasn’t long until she fully resembled the Were-Aykroyd she saw in the reflection of the screen, she coughed as her voice took on the signature Aykroydian tone that went with her appearance. ‘I have to warn everyone.’ ‘It’s too late to do that now, look at you.’

Victoria was known for being a mistress of the night, all the night was her world, she was a city light painted girl, to her in the day nothing mattered, it was the night time that flattered. She was always in control of her magic and her supernatural powers, but that was being taken from her by the Were-Aykroyd she was becoming. That was just the way becoming a Were-Aykroyd often was, in the night…no control, through the wall something was breaking, the Were-Aykroyd from within was wearing black as he walked down the street of her soul, he was taking her self control. And she always had been living for the night, but now more than ever due to his influence she was made to live for the night and began to wonder why as he took her self control.

A few minutes later and she was remembering things differently, she was remembering he was a Were-Aykroyd and he remembered that he was helping the other Aykroyds bring in potential new members for Dan/The Were-Aykroyd’s group, he remembered he had mastered how to hypnotize people and turn them and he remembered creating Neonvale as a means of doing so, using these highly addictive games to do so. ‘Ah yes, there we go. I’m much better now. I just needed to clear my mind. And my, nobody told me being a Were-Aykroyd would be so sexy.’ He of course knew how it felt the first time, to bulk up and turn into one of Dan’s own, he recalled that Dan admired his hard work and thought his ideas were fantastic.

And naturally he was a spectacular specimen, being a Were-Aykroyd had so many perks to it such as turning into different Aykroyd characters each night. Like one night he would be Beldar, the next he’d be Elwood Blues, the next one after that he’d be Grocer…and so on. Naturally getting to be so many Aykroyd characters was enthralling to him, he genuinely felt so good being Aykroyd-like and he knew that Dan aka the Were-Aykroyd who turned him was genuinely nice and cared for him. Dan would never betray his friends or hurt them, and anyone who attempted to hurt him or his ‘brothers’ would get Aykroyded themselves in the process.

“How is everything going over there?”

‘Perfect. With more people getting addicted to the games, the more Aykroyds are being added by the minute. It is absolutely capital and perfection in action.’ ‘Excellent, we’ve got a new Were-Aykroyd we want you to meet.’ ‘Excellent, i’ll be right there.’ The new Were-Aykroyd was transported over to the library where all of the Aykroyd characters were, and that’s where he ran across Jimmy Flaherty, who was ready to turn some more people. ‘Welcome fellow Aykroyd, are you ready to help us?’ ‘Yes…I am.’ ‘Let’s do it.’

With that, the Aykroyds began the next step of their plan and Jimmy Flaherty had decided that the next lucky person to get the Were-Aykroyd treatment would be a favorite character of his…Derek Hale. ‘Ah yes, he’ll be perfect.’ He set the plan in motion as he and the other Aykroyds used a special tracking spell to track down Derek, it wasn’t long until Jimmy entranced Derek and turned him, turning him into a fellow Were-Aykroyd who wanted to be such a good brother to his siblings.

It just goes to show, sometimes an obsession can start off as a little thing but grow/mutate over time and that’s where the Aykroyd fandom comes in and that’s where the Were-Aykroyd comes in, naturally becoming a Were-Aykroyd also has a lot of similarities to becoming an Aykroyd fan or a fan in general only of course you turn into sexy Dan Aykroyd as a bonus, sometimes you may not be able to control it, but sometimes…if you can figure it out, you definitely can find ways to use it to your advantage.

[tippenfunkaport]

Long ass author's notes under the jump because it's my post and I do what I want...

Whew! And that's a wrap on Going There at 141,587 words!

So this is my longest fanfic to date and the one that took the longest because of all the rewrites so indulge me for a moment. 

While I didn't start posting this until Dec of 2020, I started writing it about two months after the Season 5 finale ended so this has been just under four years in the making for me. The Season 5 finale of She-Ra dropped May 15th, 2020 but I watching it with my kiddo so it took us several weeks to actually get through it all between school and life. But while I had an absolutely amazing experience watching this show with her from Day One and wouldn’t change it for the world, small children are not the ideal viewing companion if you actually want to pay attention to, say, dialog and it made for a distracted viewing experience. It was easily a month plus later when I actually had the time to re-watch the entire show myself and properly pay attention. This rewatch coupled with listening to ND Stevenson's character playlists and generally spending far too much time thinking about these characters than is normal or healthy while coping with a global pandemic catapulted me fully into obsession town. 

Getting Warmer wasn't just my first SPOP fanfic, it was the first fanfic I'd posted ever. As I’ve mentioned before, I wrote it because I was in a writing workshop at the time and needed something to share with the class and didn’t have anything original in progress atm. (I started lockdown super burned out and my plan during the pandemic was to take a break from writing entirely while my job was COVID-ed. This somehow backfired spectacularly and instead I wrote 2 million words of fanfic in under a year but that’s another story.)  Almost immediately after posting Getting Warmer, I started thinking about writing more missing scene fics set during season 5, my list gradually increasing until I realized at this point I might as well accept that I was apparently writing the fabled longfic. 

Going There had two big metamorphosis moments as I was writing it which added to why it took me so long to post. The first was that I had already written a good chunk of it when the fandom found ND's fic, Don't Go, which threw me into something of a narrative tailspin as it ruined the continuity of what I'd been writing. After some hemming and hawing, I decided it was worth it to go back and rewrite everything to accommodate the new timeline that this new bit of canon gave me. 

The second big shift was that this story originally started with the gang taking off from Etheria (hence why it was called Going There), but at this point I had written the scene with Bow finding the notes (which I had planned to just post as a one-shot) and sort of regretted that Shells wasn’t part of it which led to the realization that... you know what? I might as well just do the whole dang season, let's go. 

So, hilariously, this last section when they were on Etheria was finished first, then the space stuff that I had to rewrite was written next, and the very first section when they were on Etheria I wrote last. Which is completely backwards but just the hilarious way writing works sometimes. 

Honestly, everything about how I wrote this was “wrong” (which I  kind of needed to do during my lockdown breakdown to remind me why I write the way I do) in the sense of proper writing process which is another big reason for the stop and start in posting BUT that was a weird kind of blessing in disguise because now whenever I go back to an really disastrous draft that I did a poor job of planning first, I find myself saying, “Oh well! It’s going to suck, but this’ll be just like rewriting Going There!” Which maybe doesn’t sound helpful but one of of the biggest things with writing is everything is easier when you know you’ve pulled off something similar before. 

(Unfortunately, I also wrote Horse Girl Everyone the same way I wrote Going There which was very bad of me and Past Tippen needs a stern talking to because now Present Tippen has a mess to deal with. There is such a fine line between “haha, it’s only fanfic so I don’t have to care wooooo” and “oh damn it now I just made more work for myself by not caring” and I always seem to be on the wrong side of it.) 

Someday, I would like to start a similar "one-shot collection that can be read continuously," post-war canonverse fic of the Best Friend Squad navigating peacetime and their new relationships (it’ll include everyone but mostly focus on Catradora and Glimbow so I'm calling it Squad Goals), but that will have to wait until I get some of my other WIPs finished. Though I will say that Going There has a direct sequel which is already in progress (What can I say? I got impatient!) called Coming Home that is already over 40k long and barely halfway done so there's plenty to catch up on in the meantime. 

Plus all my canonverse fics are in continuity with each other so any of my post-war fics function as sequels to this (just keep in mind that most of my fics are private right now because of AI scraping so you'll need to log into to see most of them).  

I said in the notes that I would eventually like to be completely self-indulgent go back and do a full live re-read of the entire fic as kind of a director’s commentary track so keep an eye out for that in this space at some point in the future. 

What’s next? Well, in the most immediate, in about a week you’ll be getting 7 brand new fics for me for Glimbow Week, one of which is a multi-chapter I wrote as part of the WIP Big Bang. Then as soon as I get a break in my IRL work schedule (this summer has been so crazy), I’ll be back to finishing up my other fics in progress. This is getting long so I’ll wrap this up and then do another update of where I stand with all of those in separate post. 

I want to thank everyone who's been reading this all this time, even though of you that hopped in and out just to read random chapters. It has been so much fun reading all your reactions as we went! 

If you’re not a writer, you cannot possibly imagine how many hours of work went into this absolute labor of love. I went into this fic not really expecting anyone to read it outside of the usual diehard Glimbows and was surprised and delighted when it found readers outside of that usual niche! This was ultimately just a way for me to collect all my own personal headcanons about Season 5 in one place so hearing from so many of you that this became one of your comfort fics or that this felt like the expanded version of Season 5 gives me endless joy!  

Thanks again for reading and joining me on this journey! 

"Hold out your hand," she said, and he did because he always trusted her, even now when everything was unfamiliar and new. She tipped whatever was in her hand into his and pressed his fingers closed around it. "Can you feel it?"  He nodded. Something tingled against his palm, the warmth slightly twitchy, like a living thing. When he glanced down, he saw golden light spilling out from between his fingertips. "What is it?"  Glimmer fit her hand over his, the two of them holding the glow together. "Ask it to do something. Anything."

Gorgeous art by the amazing and talented @dalila-nonsense for the final chapter of Going There which is called...

✨Glow✨

Read on AO3

[victimized-martyr]

1, 3, 8, 15, 26

1. where do you fall on the kyman scale? mountain, tie, or pine?

uhhh I’m assuming this is fandom-jargon for top/bottom?? or who’s taller?? more dominant ?? actually lol I still have no idea what these mean sorry, I’m a baby in this fandom. sorry i can’t answer this, idk 😭

3. where/when/why/how do they get together?

lol thats a whole ass fic just begging to be written. My opinion will probably change, and these two are so unpredictable fr so WHO KNOWS how they’ll end up together, if they ever do. Will be an absolute miracle fr. But here’s my attempt:

Where- somewhere private, just them two. Could be either of their rooms, stark’s pond, the woods, hell maybe @ a U-store it.

When- the EARLIEST I can see them get together, is their last years of high school. Otherwise, sometime after college. Not during college… I think the boys’ career paths will divulge and all 4 of them won’t be able to hang as often. They adjust from the definition of friendship from childhood to adulthood lol. So, it makes the most sense to me they get together as adults. I’m talkin, they’re in their early thirties.

why-follow up to above^ Kyle and Cartman are doing… fine in their lives. Bills are being paid, they each have a job, but Kyle stays in south park because firstly, growing up with the debt of the entire city fucks up Kyle’s credit, and also he stays out of obligation to his family (and hey! he doesn’t have to worry about buying a house), and on a deeper level… he doesn’t know what to do with himself. with the boys out of south park, he’s never learned how to live outside those relationships. What are his hobbies? Who is he? What does he want? Cartman, meanwhile, is a wild card. He could be in another country, maybe he’s working in denver as a freelance photographer, maybe he went to los ángeles to do something with his talent, maybe he got stuck in South Park too, taking care of Liane and feeling trapped because she doesn’t have anyone else in south park and damnit Cartman’s a moma’s boy through and through. No matter what Cartman does though, he feels hollow.

Kyle and Cartman learn from their time apart that outside of their fights, they value each other’s company. There’s a mutual intensity, a fierce competitiveness that stimulates their brains, a deep bond that they can’t shake off. They’ve been obsessed with each other since they were in diapers…. they don’t have a choice in staying together in SOME proximity to function. It’s vital to their survival.

how- it’s NOT over a peaceful dinner or a lazy day of hangin with the bros that’s for sure lol. It’s south park. They can’t get a moment’s peace and nothing will ever be mundane. I imagine that it takes a large scale event, laden with toilet jokes or a matter of politics, or some wacky hijinks, where they nearly lose each other.

Kyle has a realization he agonizes over for days on end “holy shit I need this motherfucker in my life like goddamn oxygen, no way, no fucking way, HIM???”

with Cartman, things just kinda click. It’s painful acceptance of what’s been there probably since the beginning. It’s a lot to handle. Prolly to the point he actually develops a fever over it and whines like a diva. “Oh.. all those sexual fantasies of Kyle make so much sense… I’m never going after anyone else that’s not Kyle. Kyle Kyle Kyle!!! Oh god, I want Kyle! It’s always been Kyle!”

8. who is the breadmaker? (follow-up question, who’s the stay-home dad?)

hm… their futures are very muddy to me rn. To paraphrase Kyle in Mexican Joker, the decisions the characters make *right now* affect the future…Post Covid and Future Me’s endings support this idea, that the slightest decision can like, alter an entire career path and character development.

With the direction Matt and Trey are taking Cartman and Kyle as of Streaming Wars, Kyle would definitely be the bread maker. not that Cartman’s lazy (he is, but Kyle would NOT let him be), but because his ambitions change from day to day. As a result his career path will likely not be as conventional (so in Kyle eyes, unstable lol). Cartman, as he’s acting right now, would be absolutely content as a stay at home dad. He’d get to tap into that hedonism left over from childhood “I hardly have to lift a finger! If I want the newest X-box, my hubby Kahl will get it for me 💞”

no matter what role Cartman will take though, he WILL want to be in a position of authority. Be it a Ceo, or director, head detective..even as a stay at home dad, he WILL fight the Becky’s and Karen’s to be THE director of HOA in his town. He WILL be obnoxious about it too and probably integrate aspects of that job into his personality like he did being a rabbi in PC jfjfkgk (seriously who on earth screams about their love of abraham while having sex. Fuckin Werido. He might’ve changed for the better but Cartman definitely let it go to his head hhfhfh he integrates his interests into every aspect of himself, even foreplay. like goddamn Mattrey u made a freak fr)

15. headcanon heights and body types?

basically what we have in canon!

Kyle is the tallest (6’2) and the skinniest, no matter how much he eats. his jersey side keeps him from ever appearing lanky. I imagine he’s got very nice toned legs.

I do believe on some level Cartman IS big boned, so no matter what he might do to lose weight, he’ll always appear “big”. But of course, Cartman is nothing without his blubber, so he’s fat forever in my eyes. I think Cartman’s got a pear shaped body where a lot of his fat just goes to his mid section and ass (indeed, there is truth in his moniker), but was graced with the cherubic looks of his mom, so as he grows up, not a lot of fat goes to his chin. In fact, he’s got a well defined face. Any trace of chub is stored in is his cheeks. He’s a short lil guy (5’6)

26. why do you ship kyman?

Oh god… this is such a loaded question 😭 where do I begin?

in part, I truly can’t see them with anyone else. Does that make sense? Like, heiman arc and Cartman Finds Love showed us that Cartman and Kyle will sabotage each other’s romantic relationships and make it about each other. The gf becomes white noise, or worse, a prop in their fight. I pity any woman that dares come between them.

I also ship them because they have such an electric, rich and iconic dynamic. It’s one of the pillars of the show. There’s literally never a dull moment with them, all their interactions, be it simply playing a game and smiling at each other, teasing each other on the playground, running washington redskins, playing airsoft as a broship, is such a delight to watch.

As I said in the Why section of the ask, they complete each other in ways they might never come to terms with, but is super obvious to the audience nonetheless. They stimulate each other, there’s no one else that can bring out like, every single human emotion as intensely as kyle and cartman do with each other.

also, I ship kyman bc canon dumptrucked all this cosmic shit. They saved each other’s lives unknowingly, they’re the only ones in town to share the same fuckin blood type and kidney, like broh this shit is writing itself I’m just here for the ride.

[laufeyamp]

Tom Hiddleston Roommate Headcanons

SUMMARY. ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- being roommates with the famous British actor, Tom Hiddleston [pandemic edition] PAIRING. tom hiddleston x gender neutral reader WORD COUNT. 0.719k THIS WORK CONTAINS fluff

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

him disallowing you to go out if it’s unnecessary and buying all of your daily supplies every time he goes out which is like, once in two weeks-

you begging him to let you walk Bobby fOr tHis oNe tiME

you just wanted to have a walk outdoors and some fresh air to be honest

but of course you love Bobby too, HOW COULD YOU NOT

y/n: I’m Bobby’s mom. *snuggles Bobby and kisses his head* Tom: y/n-  y/n: *covers ears* I KNOW YOURE HIS DAD AND YES, I’M STILL HIS MOM, END OF THE DISCUSSION. Tom: *laughs*

he’d obviously say no to your request unless the covid cases had decreased to a more stable and less risky amount

he’s that one parent friend who speaks like your dad 1000/10

except he has a great sense of humour

and he could actually give you a lecture without making it sound like a lecture (does this even makes sense-)

one thing, he has this really strict sleeping schedule where the lights would be off at 12am and you should be in bed by then

HE’LL LITERALLY CHECK IF YOU’RE STILL AWAKE LIKE SPONTANEOUSLY

there was this one time where he caught you staying up till 4am because you thought he was joking when he said that he wanted you to be asleep by midnight

he just wants you to have a healthy sleeping schedule and to not stay up way too late (unless you have sleeping disorders which he’d understand)

therapist friend who gives off the best life advices and supportive af

he’s also very respectful which makes you trust him even more 

but he never goes out with you like NEVER and you understand why

he just doesn’t want to have both of your pictures taken by the paparazzi which they would most probably use to spread rumours

y/n: OH and by the way, I met some of your fans today while walking Bobby at the park. They actually recognized Bobby- Tom: Did you get into trouble? y/n: No, I lied that I bought the exact same dog that looks exactly like Bobby and named him Bobby too because I’m obsessed. 

him reminding you to wear your mask properly, bring your hand sanitizer along and to follow the physical distancing rules whenever you leave the house

you online shopping some of your daily needs and secretly shopping shirts for him since his are getting old and he refuses to buy any

he would literally wear one shirt for years until it tears apart

and of course, some snacks and new toys for Bobby :D

y/n: Which colour do you think would suit me better? *undecisive as always* Tom: *proceeds to give you the best fashion advice*

you’d order food delivery for lunch or just instant noodles, which is quite seldom since he thinks it’s unhealthy

him asking you about technical problems and Internet slangs

you sending him Loki memes in the middle of the night so that he’ll wake up being blessed by his own memes

you’d definitely send or show him fan-made edits of Loki, any of his roles or him, the man himself you’d stumble upon while scrolling through your homepage or explore

you keeping him updated with super random news about celebrities and the entire Loki fandom ;)

and as in return, he’ll make sure that breakfast is ready by the time you wake up

let’s be real, he would still make you breakfast even though you did pretty much nothing

okay, very off topic but you have a whole album in your phone gallery for this man, and only this man

it has like thousands of really random pictures of him and selfies of the both of you you took during quarantine

yOu jUst wAnTed tO gEt oNe uGLy piCtuRe oF hiM

BUT HE’S SO PERFECT 24/7 IT’S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE

you’ve got a few, but not much

and no you would never show them to any of your friends or upload them to the Internet

in addition, you've already set a password for your gallery just in case anyone tries to enter it without your permission

you having an actor as your roommate is a secret, after all

literally no one else knows about it, this whole roommate situation stays between the both of you

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SYD .ೃ࿐ Reblogs and interactions are greatly appreciated, thank you for reading.

[lynnymars]

I love the way you’ve spoken about everything that’s going on with Charlie and the fandom. I just wanted to add that honestly I get them being upset because someone they follow and look up to doesn’t seem to be hearing them and isn’t publicly supporting them. That can be extraordinarily disheartening. But it’s not anybody’s place to try and educate someone who they dont know. And Charlie has shown to be someone who cares deeply about issues and Kenny (who is a grown gay latino man) has stuck up for him. He wouldnt do that if Charlie were racist. Madi and Tori who are both women of color and have posted about blm and stop asian hate, wouldnt be friends with him if he were racist. And if people have so many problems with him, like the way he’s traveled during Covid, not speaking up, etc. then they can just unfollow him! That’s completely okay! But harassing him? Harassing his fans? Sending death threats? Absolutely not okay. And I dont understand how people can think it is.

Exactly! I think fans forget that they don’t have to keep loving him. They treat it like a toxic romance or something, like they can’t break up with him. And they seem to punish him for that. Like it’s his fault that they can’t move on to their next obsession.

And people being disappointed is valid. People’s feeling are valid, but that doesn’t mean they can react to those feelings in anyway that they like. They don’t get to harass others and bully them for having different points of view.

The messed up part is now everyone is attacking each other and the new demand towards Charlie is “you have to speak up now bec poc fans are getting attacked!” And I still don’t think he “has” to do that either, even though showing support is always a nice thing to do. These fans are fighting with each other over a discussion they started. This new harassment of each other has been solely caused by the fandom’s insistence on having this dialogue AT Charlie and with each other. He is not involved at all, no matter how much people keep trying to bait him.

Charlie doesn’t need to do anything.

The fandom has to do the work.

They have to be kinder to each other. They have to defend one another. They have to block the people who bring hate and negativity.

Charlie already said to stop spreading hate, to make sure we are all good to one another and stop harassing people he’s spoken to/met. He went out of his way to say that and no one listened. What more can he say? “Don’t be racist”??? If you need a celebrity to tell you that, then you have way bigger problems than who you do or don’t stan.

[uglygirlstatus]

24, 38, 43, and 44 ( ⸝⸝ ❛ ֊ ❛ ⸝⸝)

24. what have you learned about yourself?

that I get really caught up on documentation of my life as proof that it existed. I have obsessively kept diaries since age 6 and was doing a bullet journal for four years where I wrote down at least one thing that happened every day among other things. However during COVID with hardly anything going on I’ve really fallen out of the habit and it sucks because it’s like this last year and a half has nothing to look back on!! I also always thought I had a good memory but turns out it was just the writing stuff down that kept me sharp bc I’ve got almost NOTHIN from the last 18 months in my brain

38. what’s the meaning behind your url?

I had fandom urls for my whole tumblr career (iirc I went from rarlty to frostfurs to swiftpaw to jeanerenlover69 [please don’t cancel me for my snk era] to gayiconspongebob with maybe a few more in between) and one day I just suddenly decided no more fandom urls I want something that’s ME. and well I have Ugly Girl Status

43. what do you remember from your childhood?

I believed in Santa for too long like I remember being probably 10 or so on the playground and a bunch of kids were like discussing how he’s fake and I was like “haha yeah of course that loser doesn’t exist” and then when the group dispersed I turned around and clasped my hands in prayer and whispered “I’m so sorry Santa I didn’t mean it I know you’re real”. I also used to keep a book filled with details about who had a crush on who in my grade for blackmail purposes

44. do you collect anything?

I am a former casual Monster High Doll collector (I still have 15 but that has been whittled down from the 23 I purchased in hs) but I also try to collect as much of the limited Waluigi merchandise out there as possible

[hufflepuffdean]

alright so like. I just rewrote 15.20 in my head following most of the episode parameters and it’s amazing how much better it makes me feel? I do have an idea for a fully canon-compliant fic and I do feel a bit better about the finale than I think most do, but I wanted to barf this out lol. it’s not COVID-compliant, but again, it does fit what the ep was trying to do I think. I’m trying not to be like a Polyanna asshole or whatever because I’m seeing people be condescending as fuck but writing this out works for me so I hope this works for someone else?

the ep can still open with the montage and definitely still include Miracle. but make it clear way more time is passing. like, a matter of years. at least five. we can see Sam and Dean on various hunts but also them doing some normie things. Sam in a Zoom class (no, COVID doesn’t exist here, he just is busy lol) and Dean working at a bar. it’s clear they’re happy. and again, it’s clear it’s been several years.

I’m ngl I’m not super married (no pun intended) to Sam/Eileen like a lot of D/C fandom but it’s been established and it does work easily within the show without having to be like Awkward New Romance. so she’s there too sometimes. 

there’s definitely a part where both Sam and Dean are looking through pictures of those they’ve lost. Dean can like look at a picture of Cas and say... thank you, I won’t waste it, looking at the picture. I feel like people would be pissed he’s not looking for Cas but again, I’m not totally changing the structure here to make the episode #actually a Cas rescue, and it would be hopefully clear why he’s not looking, that he missed him but thought it was what Cas would have wanted in his sacrifice. plus there’s a payoff at the end here.

eventually someone shows up with the uh, vampire juggalo case where they haven’t been able to save all the kids. I do not want them to be clowns and it is my version so they are not. anyway Sam and Dean go off on that hunt.

the barn scene... okay well first there’s no Jenny because dude I am obsessed with this show and have watched S1 at least four times and I love every minor character and I had no idea who she was until the flashbacks and also she didn’t even do anything wtf was that. 

mostly I fucking hate that Dean has to die at all! but again, we’re sticking to the episode’s basic structure, just kinda cleaning shit up. sooo I guess the thing here is - Dean’s death needs more agency. maybe Sam and the kids are directly being threatened somehow and he makes the choice to jump in and save them even if it costs his life. this is the one specific bit I can’t really nail down (HA) so if you have any ideas feel free to send ‘em along. I feel better about it if Dean at least got some significant time to himself to live.

the goodbye can stay. it was well done, and I think both Jensen and Jared did a great job. I think things like “Sam should have tried to call 911, while in the middle of Bumfucknowhere Ohio″ or “Sam should have tried to pray to Jack, who already said he’s staying out of things” take away from the power of the scene.

you can have the montage of Sam mourning. it’s a while before he calls Eileen or anyone else, since he’s so devastated. when he does have Dean’s funeral, like, everyone who’s still alive is there. Eileen, the Wayward girls, Garth, anyone I’m forgetting. fuck it, Alice! the Lebanon kids! even random strangers, to show what Dean meant! at some point Sam should give the bunker keys to Claire too.

at the end Rowena shows up. Sam is devastated to see her, saying he can’t do a deal. Rowena just says she was there to pay respects... and tells him that Dean is not one of hers. Sam just kinda lights up.

now you can do the thing where it jump-cuts to Heaven. the scene with Bobby is good. I may write a post later about how Jack and Cas redoing Heaven is like the thing that makes the finale alright to me, but definitely keep that. the change here is that Dean does go into the Roadhouse, and it’s full of like every goddamn dead character we love tbh. Charlie, Mary, Rufus, Jo, Ellen, Ash, Victor, Kevin, Pamela, etc. Those are just characters I thought of off the top of my head lol. No John Winchesters Allowed but everyone else. also no Cas yet but don’t worry he’ll be there in a bit. 

you can start the Carry On montage here but dear god don’t play that cover version.

on Earth, we see Sam and Eileen living. they have a daughter, thanks, though her name is still Dean. (I’ve realized I hate the “naming a child after a beloved dead relative” trope, but we’re clearly doing that so it’s okay.) maybe even make it so that they adopt one of the kids they saved in the barn. Eileen has like actual lines, whether she’s talking to Sam about how much he misses Dean and how it’s hard without him but he’s going to live for him, or whether she’s talking with Sam to Dean about how there are monsters and bad things in the night and sometimes mom and dad used to deal with them, but not any more. but they’ll still be careful. (the anti-possession tattoo can stay and salted windows and all that.)

Dean gets in the Impala in Heaven and you just hear “hello Dean” on the radio. it’s Cas, obviously. Dean does one of those killer smiles. they have a convo about the rebuilding of Heaven, and how everyone here, it’s Dean (and Sam) who brought them this kind of happiness. Dean’s like, Cas it was you too, of course it was you Cas. that can be it, orrrrr if the network would allow you to go farther, Dean can say, like. ugh I can’t put it into words right now but something that makes it clear he reciprocates. fuck it, have an “I love you too,” I’M mentally writing this lmao 

the rest of the montage can proceed like normal-ish I think? I actually did really like it when Sam was “driving” the Impala at the same time Dean was driving it in Heaven. just please god get a better wig. also I do not think Sam’s only pictures on the mantle should be of like, Dean and John lol.

Dean’s tending bar in Heaven with the whole group there when he suddenly is like... oh... I think I have to take care of something. everyone knows and is thrilled for him. Cas comes along. (honestly this one’s optional in my mind, I think that scene at the end was really good as is, but I want a TFW reunion, sue me.)

bridge scene plays out, only Cas is there too and there’s a lot of hugging all around. fuck it put Miracle on the bridge too he’s an icon.

theeeee end. oh and no two seconds later cut to the actors out of character but still in costumes and the crew not in masks during a respiratory pandemic, please, it was very thoughtful for the fans and the crew deserves love I get it but also but really weird lol

[iaintyourbro]

Mental Gymnastics and the Sanity Question

I wrote this on June 2, 2020 and put it in my drafts. I don’t think I was brave enough to post this because it states how I really feel about things and at times that can be met with resistance. Almost three months later, after more research, talking to others in the fandom, and putting everything together, I’m going to share it now. I also know how to properly add pictures in a post so I’m gonna do that too.

Obviously, this is my opinion on it. Clearly from a fandom perspective, I love Cloud and Tifa as a couple. However, I’m ultimately a “canon-y” person. I do not ship couples without knowing the whole story. I ship after I know what happens. FFVII’s OG... I wasn’t too invested in, so I didn’t really do anything with fandom. I was online for FFVIII, Xenogears, and Gundam Wing. Anything FFVII related was Vincent related. 

***

Oh shipping, something I learned about recently. As a person who played FFVII at the age of 12 (well, started it) and then actually completed the game at around 13 or 14, the bulk of it went over my head. FFVIII was a clear cut romance, and probably why it was my favorite FF for 20 years. That being said, FFVII does have an ending, and does have a pretty clear relationship build between two of the characters. That’s then followed through in the additional media for the compilation. 

So why is there a fight? I honestly don’t know, and this post isn’t going to answer your questions, probably. I am going to give my opinion on why there is a fight, but I’m not a psychologist. This is how I personally feel about the entire FFVII shipping war and the impact it has on people - especially during the COVID quarantine in many areas. 

I played FF7R and was pleasantly surprised. I actually was scared to play it - scared it would change something I enjoyed as a teen. I was one that hoped for a 1 to 1 remake to keep the story solid. The reality is... the OG story is bare bones, which is why they ended up putting out multiple other pieces in the form of games, books, and movies. This bare bones story seemed to also create a war on who our protagonist loves. You realize how bare bones it is after playing the remake. 

That’s not to say it’s not a good game or good story. The OG is a fantastic game. It’s a fantastic story. It has the same issues every other RPG has where it has major gaps in the plot due to timing, money, whatever. The difference I’d say with FFVII and the others is the story is MUCH MORE COMPLEX and MUCH MORE MATURE. The closest I’d say is Xenogears, which literally was cut short due to time and money. FFVII and Xenogears also share a lot of similar themes, which makes a lot of sense when you know the “scrapped” FFVII ideas were repurposed. 

Most of us were kids or young teens when that game came out. We probably played it and understood about 60% of what was going on. We remember Cloud cross-dressing, we remember Aerith dying, and we remember Sephiroth. (And if you’re me you remember Vincent.)

The first part of the game, you’re given multiple choices on how to respond to things. This ends up being part of a “date mechanic” later on in the game. Feels like you have control, right? You’re the one who is going to determine who Cloud gets to date at the Gold Saucer! Who his life partner is! 

Wrong. 

Yeah, you make choices and it does determine who you go on a date with. However, you find out much later in the game that Cloud isn’t really Cloud. There are multiple hints early in the game that something isn’t right. It builds up until you literally see a ghostly figure of child Cloud standing there as Cloud beats the crap out of Aerith and gives the Black Materia to Sephiroth. Cloud hears voices during multiple scenes in the game, but meh, whatever. Seeing his child form, though, you’re like UM OKAY. 

So, you build up your relationship with Aerith. You say all the right things. You get the date with her, she says she wants to meet you. Then you go to the Temple of the Ancients, a cute little part with Cait Sith giving a fortune that you and her are meant to be... and about 10 minutes later you beat the living shit out of her and hand over the Black Materia to the enemy. 

At this point, you realize something is seriously wrong. Aerith disappears. The next time you see her, she dies. 

Then the focus is only on getting Sephiroth. Not just because of Aerith, but Cloud is being summoned by him - you just don’t know that until you get there. Cloud realizes that he wasn’t pursuing Sephiroth, he was being pulled to him. I mean, Aerith dies and isn’t mentioned for quite some time. There isn’t any point after she floats down that they really mourn. They go snowboarding and go after Sephiroth. 

Then Cloud completely breaks... when TIFA questions what she remembers and can’t give Cloud a clear answer. And this may come as a shock to somebody who was trying to woo Aerith. Why does Tifa matter so much? Cloud didn’t break due to Aerith dying, Cloud broke because Tifa didn’t know how to tell him that he wasn’t in Nibelheim 5 years ago (that she knew of). 

They don’t really build the relationship up between Cloud and Tifa until pretty much after this point. They talk about the Promise, they talk about some other quirks, they infer that Tifa has a crush on Cloud. 

You really aren’t aware that Cloud has a crush on Tifa until The Lifestream, when IT ALL COMES OUT. To be fair, Cloud didn’t show romantic interest to either girl in OG prior to the Northern Crater, honestly. More so until the Lifestream.

The Crisis of Losing Control 

You also lose the ability to make choices at this point in the game. 

During the first part, you are acting almost as Cloud’s false persona. The cool SOLDIER Cloud that makes nice or nasty choices towards other characters. You determine, to an extent, how Cloud is. But it’s an illusion. 

And Aerith tells us this in the Remake - that whatever you’re feeling now isn’t real. This isn’t a love confession, this is a warning. If you played the OG, you know she’s referring to his false persona.

The reason I think this gets so heated is because of the loss of control, the feeling of betrayal that the one you thought was supposed to be the one is gone, and all along Cloud held deep feelings for Tifa. You’re also probably young and inexperienced when this happens. The romantic notion of Romeo and Juliet, if you will. 

I think it also depends on how you deal with Aerith’s death. Personally, it wasn’t a huge deal to me. I was like damn did that just happen? I wouldn’t say I was sad, though, or upset. More shocked? Sadly at this point in my life, I’d already lost family members, and moving on is very important. I also didn’t notice Cloud doing ANYTHING romantic in the OG. It felt one sided all around until much, much later on. So I didn’t see it as Cloud losing the love of his life. I actually had no idea why he was upset except they were friends. 

There’s a clear end to the potential romance between Cloud and Aerith - she dies. Now in the world of FFVII, Aerith is a Cetra and has the ability to communicate with the planet and apparently those that are still living once she dies. However, that doesn’t mean that Cloud is going to pursue a relationship with her... that is... crazy, right? 

Apparently.. Not? 

This is where I start having an issue with shipping. The story clearly shows that Aerith dies. The story clearly shows that Cloud harbors deep feelings for Tifa during the Lifestream scene. Both of these events are set - there are no alternatives, no optional scenes. At no point during the Lifestream is anybody else mentioned as a romantic interest. Tifa dominates this guy’s subconscious. But to some, there does seem to be an alternative.

The most extreme I’ve seen is that Cloud should kill himself to be with Aerith. This is disturbing on so many levels, so I’m not going to talk about it much. This not only misses the point of one of the big themes in FFVII, but also just shows how desperate people are to get what they want.

The other is that Cloud actually only loves Aerith and Tifa was his living rebound. The story doesn’t support this. Watch the Lifestream scene and it’s obvious. Once again, we have no mention of anybody else during this. 

The mental gymnastics it takes to put Cloud and Aerith together as the canon couple blows my mind. 

***

And that’s where I stopped. I had noticed at the time there was major pushback on anybody who denied romance between Cloud and Aerith. I guess I just wasn’t ready to deal with it nor did I have the confidence I suppose. Now I’m confident in that after three months of observing, learning, and contemplating.

So I’ll finish with a few thoughts because apparently in fandom land three months is a long time.

COVID-19 Quarantine

The majority of the world went under quarantine earlier this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Personally, the last time I saw my cubicle was March 9. Not that I’m sad, because I do enjoy working remotely. But it’s not just my cubicle, restaurants, zoos, everything was shut down and is slowly opening up but I’m not exactly keen on going somewhere unless I absolutely have to. 

This gave me a ton of time to do other things. FFVII Remake came out, so I played that and, yeah, I got really obsessed and went into this depressed void of what the fuck am I going to do until the next part comes out? Hello, online fandom. Hello, insanity. 

I’ve learned that the FFVII online fandom - specifically the shipping fandom - is crazy in good and bad ways. This, of course, was reignited by the Remake’s release, but most likely really amplified due to people being under quarantine. This is an escape from reality for a while. An escape from the constant depressing news cycle.

Before I discovered fandom I was obsessed with COVID-19 information. I watched all kinds of new broadcasts, Dr. Fauci, random people on YouTube, and it was overwhelming after a while. Remake saved me from that. I played Remake before I went into fandom. I played it as a non-shipper. I was slammed in the face with how amazing they portrayed Cloud and Tifa. 

Self Insertion

The other piece that seems to be apparent in angry shippers is the idea of self insertion. This simply means that you put yourself in the place of the character, so you begin to take things personally. If a person self inserts as Cloud, and their personal preference is Aerith, they become angry when Aerith dies and we find out who Cloud TRULY loves. If somebody self inserts as Aerith, they’re upset that they were never a real love interest. 

Most people go “oh okay, I see.” and move on and/or move to fanon if they truly wanted those two together. 

Then there’s the people who, for 20+ years, spread false information, attack, stalk, and go ballistic anytime there’s any type of evidence that they were wrong. 

The Big Ego

Nobody likes being wrong. FFVII has a major twist in it that causes you to go into a daze, and I do think they do a great job with that. Aerith isn’t it. Her death isn’t the big twist. It’s Cloud that’s the big twist. Going through the Lifestream (and even prior at the Northern Crater) reveals like ohhh shiitttt everything you know about Cloud is a lie.

And he even tells us it’s an illusion. Imagine that?

I am very strongly swayed by evidence from official resources. I suppose I take a scientific approach to this. I cannot find canon evidence that Cloud ever held any romantic feelings towards Aerith. Therefore, to me, Cloud never held any romantic feelings for anyone but Tifa because that’s what the game and resources tell us. 

Luckily, the Remake is making things clear. The devs are being more direct when answering questions. 

There was never supposed to be ambiguity or “player choice”. The fact that you lose player choice at one point and there are fixed events in the game (The Lifestream) that cannot be changed should have been evidence enough. The fact that there are not multiple endings should have been a clue. 

With all of this being said, it shouldn’t matter what I say if you want to ship a fanon ship. I do not see any romance between Cloud and Aerith and I never have. There is no supporting evidence of it. I generally am boring - I don’t try to fanon too much stuff that I have other evidence for. I’ll do it in jest. 

My opinion on Cloud and Aerith in general is I don’t think they work or ever could work. That shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the ship. You cannot claim canon on a ship though unless there’s evidence. There’s way too much twisting, lying, and deletion to justify certain ships. This is one of them.

[theotherdoe]

Hi. Hello.

*Clears throat, waves shyly.* Uhm hello there.

I am most likely speaking to a vast void here, but I want to introduce myself to the world of Tumblr and the HP fandom. I’ve been wanting to create and contribute to the fandom for awhile now, and have slowly started this process. I am hoping by introducing myself to, well, the internet, I guess, someone will see my plea for fandom friends and help hold me accountable to finishing my fan fiction and fan art (and I am such an awkward little introvert over here that I have no idea how make online friends. But this isn’t a one sided thing here - I’d love to provide feedback to stories and encouragement when writer’s block happens to others, too!). 

So hi. Hello. I’m Sierra. An ICU nurse by night, and by day a sleepy creature that is an avid knitter, amateur cross stitcher, dog mom, wife to husband that collects VHS tapes of the Star Wars trilogy, and self-conscious fan fiction writer and fan art creator. The Harry Potter series has always been so close to my heart - when I was young, I picked up the Sorcerer’s Stone, and forced myself to learn how to read with that book. I was a slow reader, behind what was an acceptable reading level for my grade, and was embarrassed by that fact. But I was stubborn child, and with pure determination and the help of my older brother, I learned out how to read and fell in love with reading because of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Ever since then, HP has been so special to me (even though JK Rowling is literately an awful person like WTF). I grew up in a middle of a corn field small town (I mean I graduated high school with a class of 45 people small), so in the summers before I was old enough to get a job, I would babysit random kids and re-read the Harry Potter series from start to finish, and then start them all over again. When Deathly Hallows was finally released, I was an avid Hinny shipper, and wrote sweet, very poorly written Hinny fan fiction and pasted my drawn pictures of Ginny Weasley all over my childhood bedroom walls. But as I got older, became a high schooler, then a college student, other interests took over, and I lost touch with my love for Harry Potter.

Flash back to about two-and-a-half years ago, my then fiance and I moved 1200 miles away from all of our friends and family, and I started my career as an ICU nurse. It was an awesome, but scary time, and as someone who is not only an introvert, but has had the same best friends since the ripe old age of 6 years old, I struggled with making connections with people in my new home state. I turned to Harry Potter, re-opened my old middle school tumblr account, and came home to this beautiful fandom. It was such a comfortable feeling to be surrounded by the characters I knew and loved so well, in both there original stories and alternative universes. And it was during this time I feel in love with the Marauders Era and became thoroughly obsessed.

So in the past couple months, I started this new Tumblr (I thought it was probably a good idea to deleted the 10 year old Tumlbr that was started with an email that doesn’t exist anymore), and have slowly started creating fan art and writing fan fiction again (the whole COVID-19 thing put a damper in my plans to create more as I began working overtime like crazy earlier in the year). I love the amount of acceptance, creativity, and just pure love that is in this fandom, and I have become such an avid Wolfstar and Jily shipper in my old age. I want to contribute stories and art to this fandom that has brought me so much joy and reminded me that I love writing stories and creating art (even though I’m not sure if you can call my sketches art). So, if you stick around, you might get to see me gain enough confidence to share some poorly drawn fan art based on stories I’m obsessed with and my cute Wolfstar/Jily AU I’m writing (it was supposed to be a cute little song fic based on the song “Gorgeous” by Taylor Swift but somehow has turned into a multi-chapter, trope-y, fluffy story that I’m sure has been written before).

So, hi! Welcome to my Tumblr. It’s going to be mainly HP (which means lots of Wolfstar, Jily, a touch of Hinny, and any other ships I feel like sharing at the time), but it will also include stuff about healthcare equality, how much the 45th president of the United States sucks, the BLM movement, cute art, and anything else that tickles my fancy. Feel free to say hi, ask me to read through any stories you would like a second set of eyes on before posting, or anything else! 

[estelofimladris]

The Healer: Critical Role

[ warning: here follows a long rambling story of feelings about losing a fandom and finding new love and happiness in an unexpected way ]

Here’s a little personal story about how some fandoms hurt and some heal. It goes from Fillory to Exandria. (It feels really right when I say it that way.)

I wasn’t ready for the healing that I got, but it’s here now. Thank Sarenrae.

Everyone loves that thunderstruck feeling when you fall in love with a fandom. It’s literally like all the tropes about falling in love. You meet and sometimes there’s just a spark.

That was me with The Magicians. I spent a year immersed in a welcoming fandom in a show that made me feel seen and whole. I had friends in the fandom as well as the friends irl who were into the show. I got to dive into it when I really needed a fandom to help carry me a little through a hard time.

It was heaven. Until it wasn’t.

In April of 2019, The Magicians broke my heart. Again, just like all the tropes about love. Just like a bad breakup, there’s things about it that I really enjoyed, but at the end of the day, I can’t go back to the way things were with that fandom. No matter how welcoming the fandom remained, I couldn’t go back because the show had cut me so deeply.

Then through 2019 and into 2020, I drifted through some new loves and lived in my love of some of my oldest fandoms. Lots of Star Wars. New excitement from Good Omens, The Dragon Prince, and The Old Guard. It’s not to say that I don’t love these things, but at least two of my new favs are, for the time being anyway, done. And, though Star Wars (and in the same breath my other love Marvel) are never really done, I like loving them in a bubble because as anyone in those fandoms knows it can be a complicated relationship.

Also in late 2019, my buddy @wittynamehere1443 decided she wanted to try and run a D&D campaign for our family of misfits. I hadn’t played since high school (D&D 3.5) and was super excited to get back into it. I picked up quite a bit while prepping to play from a mix of reading, remembering old things, and watching some tutorials and stuff on ye ol’ YouTube. I had dabbled in tabletop, but never thought I’d go charging back in, but once I started I couldn’t stop.

I immersed myself in as much as I could, but I’m really a visual & kinesthetic learner, so eventually I was going to have to supplement my book-learning with some real-play to really understand. I played as much as I could as I delved deeper, but even as I dove, I realized I wanted to do more. I started to write my own campaign setting and adventures. I suddenly found myself needing to just know how D&D worked without having to always have the books open.

Now, I had been lightly introduced to some real-play before I really understood what it was. A buddy of mine had shown me a clip of Critical Role out of context quite some time ago and I really didn’t understand how so many people I knew and shared a lot of crossover interests with could be so obsessed with watching 8 people play D&D.

My buddy who was now my DM had consumed all of The Adventure Zone and had very lovely things to say about it and I had the lingering curiosity about Critical Role form the many people who had recommended it to me as well as the complete mystery attached to why people loved it so. And me, being a big lover of visuals and being at home because of COVID, dipped my toe into real-play with the first episode of Critical Role back in late June.

I did it completely on my own at first, which is rare given that most things I watch, I watch them with my best friend and roommate, @hawkeyekate.

( Also, as a weird note, I’ve managed to deftly avoid most spoilers about Critical Role up to this point and I’m not completely sure how. I know one big one in Campaign 2, but until yesterday (when I watched the first episode of Campaign 2) I didn’t even know the classes of 1/2 of the Mighty Nein. I didn’t even know Sam played Nott until about three weeks ago. That bubble has come in very handy. )

I immediately began to get out of it what I was originally there for: great real-play with explanations of rules (especially vs. house rules and the whys of everything). Watching the cast fumble through transitioning from Pathfinder to D&D 5e was very helpful to me because I had some similar questions from the figments of memory I had from 3.5 as well as my other random tabletop experience. I was completely inspired and found myself cranking through pages upon pages of my own world and campaigns as well as delving deeper into my characters that I’d been honing already.

I quickly noticed that I was worrying less about the rules when I played and was getting to enjoy my character for who he is. I was starting to craft interesting mechanics and not just story in my adventures I was writing.

Lightning had struck and suddenly I was in love in a way I hadn’t been in a long time.

As I was watching Critical Role, I definitely wasn’t just learning to be a stronger DM and a better player. I found myself able to tell the twins apart. I was invested in the mysteries as they unraveled in Exandria. I hung on Mercer’s every word.

Then without warning, when the party said goodbye to Pike in Vasselheim, I found myself in tears. I don’t know why but I remember being so struck by that moment. I knew it was partly because Ashley was leaving for New York, but the story for Vox Machina hit a soft spot for me. I was no longer just watching 9 people play D&D. I was invested in the story, the characters, and the world.

I was suddenly a Critter.

I think notoriously at this point, when I fall for a fandom, its often connected to a character. I saw in Vax’ildan a lot of things that really sucked me in from the beginning. He is at the same time like many of my favorite characters of my youth and like many of my favorite characters as an adult. I feel like he’s my heartstrings manifest in a lot of ways, complete with many of the flaws in that.

Then what was a slow crawl accelerated. I would occasionally ramble to @hawkeyekate about the adventures of Vox Machina and it would be on when she was around, but she wasn’t exactly watching it with me. Then at some point during “The Trial of the Take”, she was suddenly sitting with me to watch. She was asking me to pause when she had to go do something - and wait for her.

We were watching together.

We were acutely aware of how the twins echoed things in us and that often we are referred to in the same sentence in the same way. I had my Vex’ahlia.

Only a little over a month later, we’ve battled Briarwoods and now we’re hunting Vestiges and gathering allies. It is a rare day that we don’t watch a little Critical Role. I sport my “Gilmore’s Glorious Goods” shirt. I’ve read Vox Machina: Origins and am making plans for two cosplays already.

I’ve also DM’d six sessions of my first adventure-turned-campaign in my own world I’ve built, Perlen. I play tabletop two-to-three days a week with my friends via the internet. I hoard dice.

I’ve fallen in love again and this time it feels safe.

I know good and bad things will come for Vox Machina ahead. I know the same can be said for The Mighty Nein in my future as well, but the Critters in my life have been so welcoming and it’s been so nice to have something new to talk to my friends about. And I trust the cast of Critical Role not to destroy things just because they made them like The Magicians creators did, a trust I didn’t think I would grow back any time soon. I know that some of the pains in Critical Role aren’t just scripted but are actually to chance, which gives me comfort, too. People live and die by the dice in tabletop and I can abide that. It doesn’t mean I won’t cry and ache every time something bad happens to them because I love them all.

So I will go running through Tal’dorei and look forward to Wildemount while I carve out the mountains and seas of my world of Perlen. I’ll cry when they hurt and smile every time Pike and Grog talk. I’ll be healed the way that stories can in ways I didn’t expect, which has now happened much more than once.

I’m here now and I love it.

[ special shout-out to the Critters in my life that have been so welcoming. Especially my super-enabler, @oniumbra. ]

[hawkland]

Dear Chocolate Box Creator

Hello and thank you for creating for me! 

For this exchange I am requesting fic for my gift, but I would always adore any art treats! (I just am terrible at coming up with art prompts most of the time, which is why it’s hard for me to specifically request them.)

For this exchange I’m giving more general prompts/likes than a lot for specific pairings - because frankly with so many pairings requested this would turn into a novel otherwise. Please just have fun and know that with most of these ships being on the rarer side, I’m thrilled to see anything new for them (minus any of my DNWs, of course ;) If I don’t have specific prompts for a ship below that doesn’t mean I would adore it any less than the other ships - my brain is just broken on coming up with new prompts for them at this point in time because I’ve been requesting them for so long :)

Do Not Wants (unless a specific exception is listed below)

A/B/O

formalized BDSM relationships and kink

pregnancy/kidfic 

permanent death or permanently disabling injury

violence/cruelty toward animals

2nd person "reader" POV 

trans or asexuality headcanons.

General likes/prompts:

For both romantic and platonic ships...

* Vacation/travel stories. Being unable to travel this past year thanks to covid-19 has me desperate to explore and live vicariously through my favorite characters! So I’d love a story involving travel to somewhere new. It could be a romantic getaway/honeymoon trip to somewhere special (and I love it when an author “takes me” to a favorite city/place of their own). Or two friends just going on an escapade together, maybe one sensing the other needs some time away from a stressful situation or workplace.

* Quarantine/life-in-2020 stories. I also enjoy stories about how characters have had to deal with self-quarantine, covid, and other related issues this year. I know many people may be sick of it, but as a health care worker myself stuck with it all for who knows how long (and missing family members overseas I can’t visit), it gives me some comfort to imagine how my favorite characters and ships are coping, too. Are they somehow stuck apart for a long period of time? Driving each other crazy cooped up at home? Discovering some new hobby or passion together? Being good emotional support for each other while dealing with distance from other family/loved ones?

* Soumates with a twist. I love soulmate/soulbond AUs, as long as it’s just not a shortcut to happily-ever-fluff. I want there to be some conflict or angst involved. For instance, I’d love seeing any “fusion” fics based off the concept of the AMC-network “Soumates” series - where there’s a scientific test a person can choose to take to find their soulmate (if the other person out there has also taken the test). That way it’s a choice to find out or not. Would an already established couple want to take the test to find out if they’re really “meant” to be together or not? What if they find out other people are their “soulmates”? What about the possibility of platonic soulmates vs romantic? Discussions for the future if/when one partner dies before the other? I’d love to see these questions played out with one of my fave ships in a happy or even somewhat angsty/dark way.

* Someone has an unexpected hobby or talent. One person has been holding out on the other about some unique interest, skill or hobby that they have. Could be anything from being a secret gourmet cook to stamp collecting - I’d just love a story about the discovery of this hidden interest, why the person never talked about it, if it’s something they could share together (or it just leaves the other person completely bewildered, aka, “You do you.”)

For romantic ships, specifically:

* Age difference dynamics.  The age gaps in a lot of my romantic ships are a plus, not a minus :) I like the general power dynamics involved in them, but generally with the twist where the younger individual is perhaps more experienced/worldly in some way than the older character (for instance, how Eleanor is so cynical and knows all about the world whereas Michael in The Good Place, despite being an immortal being around for millennia, has so much to learn about human behavior and humanity.) I’m not into formalized BDSM situations/power-play, for clarification, so it’s more of a relationship dynamic that I like, not a sexual kink.

Specific Ship Requests

Crossover Fandom

Stewart Copeland (The Police (Band))/Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters) - one of my perennial favorite ships to always request. Would love any of my general prompts above.

Murdoc Niccals (Gorillaz)/Stewart Copeland (The Police (band)) - I’d love to see them meet up backstage or at an afterparty somewhere, and bonding over having their annoying lead singer/frontman “steal away” THEIR respective bands.

Murdoc Niccals (Gorillaz)/Peter Hook (New Order) - Something during the recording of “Aries”, of course! Is Murdoc jealous about having another bass player as a featured/guest artist? Have to prove who’s the one in charge? 

Lucifer (Lucifer TV)/Murdoc Niccals (Gorillaz) - “Hail, Satan!” indeed! What wouldn’t an avowed Satanist like Murdoc love about the chance to meet - and perhaps service - his hero and spiritual leader? What would (this particular) Satan think about Murdoc and some of his truly awful shenanigans?

Abe Morgan (Forever TV 2014) & John Munch (Law & Order: SVU) - I’ve had a long running headcanon that these two could have been friends back in their respective 60s/early 70s hippie days. I’d love either a story set back then, “pre-canon”, or them running into each other in NYC later in life. Munch ending up in Abe’s antique shop, for instance, while on an investigation?  

The Police

Stewart Copeland/Sting (The Police) - any of my general prompts, of course. Plus I’m always a sucker for reunion tour-era fluff, getting back together after all those years. Or something hot and sweaty set on Montserrat during the Ghost in the Machine or Synchronicity sessions.

Gorillaz

Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot (Gorillaz)

Murdoc Niccals & Noodle (Gorillaz)

Gorillaz is my newest obsession/fandom - and yes I know I’m like 20 years late for it. For 2Doc I would love anything angsty related to Plastic Beach/Phase 3 - I know it’s been done to death by now but it is my favorite part of the lore (and my favorite Gorillaz album). Also The Lost Chord video was so amazing...I’d love any kind of “what happens next” story set afterwards, what with 2-D saving Murdoc and all the feels that had to involve, after everything Murdoc did to 2-D on Plastic Beach.

I also adore the father/daughter dynamic between Murdoc and Noodle in phases 1 & 2...he’s such a “bad dad” but I love it. I’d love to see anything where he reacts to her giving him an unexpected gift, or just manages to warm/melt his icy bastard heart just a little bit.

Law & Order SVU

John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola (L&O: SVU) - they’re my perennial favorite request these days and I will never tire of stories about these two! Anything goes that fits my general requests or prompts!

ER

John Carter/Peter Benton (ER 1994) - I was quite excited to see this ship in the tagset, and yes, please, there needs to be more of them! I watched ER through completely for the first time a couple years ago and they were the first ship I had while doing so. The mentor/mentee dynamic is right up my alley, I loved how Peter was there with John when he needed help for his addiction, and oh, that final episode. Any little “missing scenes” between them would be so wonderful. Or, something modern day, where might they be now as a long-time established couple? Celebrating an anniversary, or perhaps taking a moment to acknowledge something less happy/lost loved ones from the past. 

The Good Place

Eleanor Shellstrop/Michael (The Good Place) - some day, some how, someone has to write some decent tentacle porn for this ship. They’d have to figure out some way to make it work with Michael in his true fire squid form. And while I’m not normally into kid/pregnancy fic, what if somehow Eleanor ends up pregnant with a half-squid half-demon baby? Yes, I know she’s dead. But somehow in this canon it has to be possible.

[underaswift-sunrise]

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!! 🎉🎉 I am writing this a second time because I accidentally clicked on a link on my phone while swiping between the tumblr app and safari app, almost at the end of the message. 😢 I hope I don’t miss out on anything.

Awww that’s nice!! It shows that you’ve had some physical improvement even while being stuck at home! How?? Please teach me your ways. I used to exercise every other day even while on lockdown, but after my surgery in Oct I took some time to recover, and now it’s hard to find the motivation to get back into exercising again. And I really want to build up my stamina first, before I try to go for dance lessons again in the new year. ☺️ Oh god yes! Secret Love Song II is the ultimate tear jerker! 😢 So the Tamil music industry works slightly differently. There are a few independent artists, but it’s usually music soundtracks that are mainstream and popular. So the music directors get more recognition and fanbase than the singers. Even though there are popular singing artists, it’s not like the English music industry where they have fandoms and stuff. My fave music directors are A R Rahman, Anirudh, G V Prakash and singers are Sid Sriram (he has such a unique tone to his voice 😍), SPB (sadly he passed away this year due to Covid, but he is AMAZING! And he has sung over 40,000 songs in 14 languages), Chitra, Shreya Goshal. Hmm my current song obsessions are Chellama (Doctor), Ellu Vaya Pookalaye (Asuran), Ennadi Mayavi (Vada Chennai) and Kaathodu Kaathanen (Jail). Let me know what you think if you have a listen to it. ☺️ Oohh I just listened to them! Thunder Road seems like such a “feel good” song. Like it’s a good choice if you need a pick me up.

Aww that’s smart!! I hope that you can achieve all your resolutions for next year! The first one will definitely happen!! Wow! You sound like such a linguist. How many languages do you speak/know? Nooo, it doesn’t sound stupid. I can see what you mean. I sincerely hope that you have enough money to not just live comfortably and travel for auditions next year, but also have money to travel for leisure and have a surplus in savings!! All the best!! 👍🏽👍🏽 Okay, I am totally guilty of point 4 as well. I feel you on that. But I can honestly say that I enjoy talking to you and look forward to your responses. I’m pretty sure that the people in your life do not think that of you. I hope that you can work pass this anxious thoughts and appreciate yourself for the beautiful and wonderful person that you are!! And I am so proud of you for coming this far and recognizing that you have made improvement! YOU GO GLORIA! 💪🏽💪🏽 Also the paradox that being under someone’s gaze makes us uncomfortable, but we love to be on stage dancing! Reading is fun! But I have been getting way too much into fanfics, which is not a bad thing, but I want try reading some non-fiction. Which is hard to start when I have a long list of fanfics saved. 🙈 hope you do get to read more in 2021!! Hmm my goals are to exercise more, get back into dancing, and hopefully to start a PhD. And also general stuff like being more present in the moment, and drinking more water. Haha

Thank you for your wishes! I hope you have an amazing week ahead! Merry Christmas!! Wishing you a fabulous day filled with lots of love, joy, gifts and good food! Have fun but also stay safe!! 🎉🥰❤️ -M :)x

M!!! 💕 So sorry for the late reply!! I'm a terrible person when it comes to replying sometimes ahahah xD As usual, all my ramblings under the cut :D

Ohhhh wow so many music recommendations, thank you SO MUCH!!! I'll save everything to my Spotify! :D Oh I knew absolutely nothing about music directors, thank you for explaining that to me! 😱 It really sounds like a very different system!!

Ah I can feel you about the motivation to exercise!! I'm also very lazy when it comes to cross training, which I need to do to prevent injuries: let's say I'm constant but I get bored very quickly and always look for new exercises, new music to use, exercises that look like games, you name it 😂 Like, to train balance, my favorite exercise is balancing on one leg with eyes closed, and doing variations of that, because it's never boring! 😆 Or I have to listen to podcasts/music in the meantime, otherwise I just go crazy! But I think that to get some motivation back it's better to start from something that's kind of fun and doing only 10 minutes the first day and building up from there!! I honestly made some progress only because I had a lot of time and spent hours dissecting ballet steps I'm struggling with ahah! Just, starting from the simplest "part" of that movement and seeing what I was doing wrong, taking videos of myself and then study said videos (horrible thing to do but very useful 😆)...

Ahhh I'm not a linguist, really!! I just went to a linguistic high school and studied English, French and German! But honestly I feel comfortable speaking only English and French, but the second is definitely a bit rusty as for now 😂 I also took Portuguese for one year at uni and I'd like to go back to it someday! :)

Your goals sound amazing, too!!! I really hope you'll go back to dancing and recover completely from the surgery you mentioned earlier! 🙏 And PhD, WOW!! That's awesome!!! I'm sure you'll accomplish a lot in the new year, you sound like a hardworking and passionate person, I'm rooting for you! :D I hope you spent some nice days during these holidays, rested and ate good food! 💕 Hope you're well and staying safe ☺️🙏 Until the next ask!!! 🎄✨🐇

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2237

today was a decent day, i guess. thursdays are my long work days, and i was also able to get some math homework done too, so that was good! joel and lisa went and got tested for covid today, so they'll hear back in a few days from that. i hope it's just a cold or something. when joel gets sick, it hits him hard, but thankfully he doesn't get sick very much. me on the other hand, i'm an absolute mess and i get sick a lot, but it's usually enough for me to just sleep it off. joel has a bad back, so sleeping all day is difficult for him, plus he doesn't sleep well, so that sucks too. and he needs to do things during the day (or whenever he's awake), because otherwise he's a miserable grump and ends up depressed. which, yknow, mood. so i'm hoping it's nothing major.

also, i've been meaning to get a new phone case since i bought this phone almost a year ago. the clear case i got was as an interim sort of thing until i found a case i liked enough to get. i've been through a few phases of fandoms, but thankfully this one is sticking HARD, so i went on a liiiiiittle bit of a shopping spree and got myself a bunch of stuff that's bnha, including a "plus ultra" phone case, a coordinating black and red "plus ultra" backpack, and a custom UA logo popsocket. i like subtle things that like, it's random to people who don't know but to those who do it's cool as FUCK that you have it so i'm excited. i'll finally have a decent bag i can take things around cons with me, and once i get all of the pins i'm planning on getting i can stick them all over the bag because it's all black except for the red "plus ultra" on the top. so subtle and enough space for my obsession with pins. hell yeah. (i also got myself a mug with the face that deku made when he was imitating all might when he was giving him one for all, yknow the cursed "Eat this" face, and it says "drink this" and as SOON as i saw it i lost my SHIT, i was laughing so hard my mind asked me what was so funny and i laughed my way through explaining it for like five minutes and she ALSO laughed at the face oh my god i'm so happy i got that mug. i totally forgot about it.)

anyway, i'm excited to have merch for things that's not just pins and not just, like, stickers. things that i can have with me, on me, and just represent who i like to be without being pretentious or requiring a shitload of explanation. i'm excited to use that backpack.

i'm excited to exist as my own person. that'll be fun. and yeah, i'm gonna be a huge fuckin nerd, but at least i'm joel's nerd.

[mfackenthal]

The MFackenthal Show with Special Guest Star @hopefulmoonobject!

banner by @whenyourheartskipsabeat

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Megs:  Hello Hello Hello!  And welcome to the first episode of The MFackenthal Show - Covid19 edition.  Today we are going to air footage from an interview that was originally recorded back in late 2019.  So while you will see Megs and her wonderful special guest interacting and sitting within six feet of each other at the beginning of the footage, after the pre-recorded tape, we’ll check in with our special guest via zoom.  

The screen gets all blurry for a second before we see … 

Megs:  Hello Hello Hello! Please help me welcome to the stage our guest star for today, @hopefulmoonobject​. 

Nesha:  Gently smiles and gives a small wave as she walks on stage.  

She and Megs hug before they both sit down. 

Megs:  Nesha, I am so glad you are here!  I have loved your work for so long now.  It feels like forever ago that I was binging A Royal Mate/Finding the One. 

Nesha:  I think you read it all in less than a week.  It was impressive. 

Megs:  Quickly stands and gives a little bow.  I am a fanfic addict.  I have a problem but I do not want a cure.  Especially now that you’re wowing the world with Atelophobia; teaching us psychological terms and giving us great content.  I know that we are all happy to see Liam and Z get married. 

Nesha:  Don’t worry, there is still fun in store!

Megs:  Oh, I’m not worried.  BUT I have definitely jumped ahead.  Sorry, I just couldn’t wait to shower you with complements.  But, let’s back up.  Tell us all how you came to tumblr and how you created your tumblr handle. 

Nesha: Well, let’s see, I joined the fandom some time at the end of Oct  2017.  I was strictly a reader at the time.  My tumblr handle was tumblr generated - but it was perfect because I used to collect anything that was sun, moon, or stars related.  I didn’t really know how this tumblr thing worked and I didn’t comment on everything I read, but I did like them.  It was actually a little intimidating to start talking to people. 

Megs:  A lot of people feel intimidated talking to people.  That’s why this show exists.  People will see you and know that they can talk to you! Thanks for coming on the show, by the way!

Nesha: Of course, Megs!  I’m honored to be here. 

Megs:  What brought you to the fandom? 

Nesha:  I stumbled onto choices and played for about 3 months before I found tumblr. I started reading then interacting with others that were just as obsessed with this game as I was. There is some amazing talent in this fandom. 

I even just started binging Supernatural because of some of the fics that have been popping up. I haven’t finished it yet though. 

Megs:  I love Supernatural!  I know there are others out there who love it too!  There are a lot of seasons though!  Laughs  Anyways, what do you love about the fandom? 

Nesha:  I love that people all over the globe can come together over a game. I have met some wonderful people because of this fandom and Choices. It was some of these people that gave me the courage to write my first fic. I used to write mostly poetry when I was younger, but I hadn’t written in years and then after a Camp NaNoWriMo, I became a writer.  

Megs:  That is amazing!  Tell us about what you have written!

Nesha: Oh gosh … well, I must say that I am very proud of Finding the One AU. It was my first series, and very dear to my heart.

I also loved the series that I was co-writing with Alex, but just with everything and living on two different continents, it is hard to find the time at this juncture. There is still a chapter I wrote with a very talented writer named Meg, that I still need to finish and post.

Megs:  You flatter me!  But I did have a great time writing with you! And as anyone who has talked to me knows, I will do almost anything to get myself into a fic.  So, Camp NaNoWriMo graduate, what advice do you have for other writers? Especially other fanfic writers? 

Nesha:  Write what you feel, but I would ask that you are mindful of stereotypes. Also, don’t let anyone chase you away.  I know what it feels like not getting a lot of comments, that did stress me out, then I had to remember why I was writing in the first place. Yes, it is nice to have people like and comment on your work (I am bad at it, sorry) I can only keep up with a handful of series then I go back and find the others to read them too. 

Megs:  Oh gosh, it’s impossible to read everything!  It’s almost impossible to read everything by just one amazing author, let alone the entire fandom!  I used to think crazy things like, “could people just take a day off from writing so I could catch up!!!  Please?!”  laughs But more seriously, What’s your writing process? 

Nesha:  Just sit in front of a keyboard and let it flow.  I have plots that I have thought of in the beginning, but by the second or third chapters the characters kinda take over.  It is like that for my latest story Atelophobia.  Some of the chapters had taken on a very different route than I had originally planned. But I am loving it.

Megs:  That’s such great advice.  I think it’s Stephen King in his book about writing called  “On Writing” who says that one should write every day.  He mentions having some days where he just throws everything that he writes away.  Okay, now tell me, it’s obvious that you love Liam.  What about Liam seems to inspire you so much? 

Nesha:  I mean who doesn’t like a man who is educated, intelligent, doesn’t take you for granted, your happiness is important to them, as well as your thoughts?  They want more than just a pretty face. and treats you like a Goddess in and out of the bedroom. 

Megs:  Nope, can’t argue with that logic!

Now, Nesha … I have a little bit of a surprise for you.  Megs reaches behind the couch and pulls out a stuffed animal in the shape of a skunk. She passes it over to Nesha. 

Nesha:  Hugs the skunk and starts laughing.  Megs, I love it.  How did you know!?  Oh my gosh, I know it’s weird, but I like the smell a skunk makes! No, I don’t want a direct blast, but I don’t mind it.  I blame the fact that I moved into a dorm with no air conditioning and lived on the first floor.  Some thought it was funny to shoot a skunk with a slingshot, and wildlife had to come out and put it out of its misery, right under my window.  Lived with that smell for weeks.  I will cherish “Tulip” the skunk forever. 

The screen blurs out and we see Megs all by herself again. 

Megs:  It’s such a good thing we had this older footage, otherwise, I don’t know how we would be able to air this show during social distancing!  I thought my producers were crazy when they wanted to film ahead like that.  I really have to hand it to them.  Now, let’s check in with Nesha!  

Megs calls Nesha on her phone and soon we hear Nesha say hi, but it’s Tulip sitting in a chair that we can see on the TV screen that is paired to the phone. 

Megs:  busts out laughing  Well, hello Tulip!  How are you?  I haven’t seen you in so long.  Is Nesha treating you well? 

Nesha: using a cute child voice  Oh yes, Megs, Nesha is treating me very well.  I get all the food I want and I get to help her write more stories of Liam.  I am a very lucky skunk.  

Megs:  That’s great, Tulip!  I’m so glad to hear that.  Any chance Nesha is around? 

Nesha: pops into the screen, moving Tulip to be sitting in her lap as she takes Tulip’s chair  Hey Megs!  It’s great to see you! How are you liking your own show?  How are you holding up with all the craziness going around about COVID-19?  

Megs:  I am loving the show!  Each episode is unique.  Some are crazy ridiculous (cough @cordoniansgonewild) others are more innocent and sweet.  Sometimes I lack the motivation to write them, but when I take your advice and just let it flow, it always does.  COVID-19 has actually been quite a joy for me personally.  I’m working from home and loving it!  I do feel awful for those who have lost their jobs or are truly terrified to leave their houses.  If any of you are feeling down or depressed, please know that I’m always available to talk.  

And that’s today’s show! Thank you all for tuning in!  I can’t wait to see you all again soon! Byee all!!!

Nesha:  waves to everyone Stay safe everyone.

Oh, and in case you missed some of the references to @hopefulmoonobjects work, check it out here.

~~~~~

And now for the tags.  I’m only tagging people who have specifically mentioned an interest in The MFackenthal Show.  If you want to be added to the tag list for these or removed, please let me know!

@hopefulmoonobject​​ @queen-among-writers​​, @hopelessromantic1352​​, @lilyofchoices​​, @msjpuddleduck​​, @theroyalweisme​​, @loveellamae​