#thankfully work is really hard going physically but quite enjoyable

[gaytobymeres]

No matter what I tell myself I am now convinced my project is worthless and they’re going to hate my presentation tomorrow. Which is really stupid and I’m trying to think about it rationally. My project has changed a lot since the first time and yeah my rationalisation in presentation 1 wasn’t very clear and I didn’t really know what I was going to be doing. Whereas now I have a clear direction, a clear output (even if I’m worried they’ll have problems with the methods). I’ve changed my aim and objectives to the way they want them to be. My supervisor and senior members of the hort team are interested in it and find it valuable. Ahhhhh!! Really dreading this. So is my friend so at least it’s not just me ig?? I’m just hoping they get the point of my project which didn’t happen the last time.

[krissiefox]

Super Mario Sunshine (Gamecube) (Review)

"I'm having Sonic Unleashed flashbacks…"*

Despite my love for the genre of platformer games, I seem to be having a rough time with 3D offerings of the genre as of late…

Super Mario Sunshine is one of the many Mario titles in my collection I was long overdue for sitting down and trying to complete, and finally began to do so when my wife suggested I play it alongside her while we were resting in our Bungalow lodge on a trip a couple years ago. It starts with Mario, along with Princess Peach, Toadsworth, a bunch of other unnamed Toadstool folk, traveling to a resort island named Delfino. Unfortunately, shortly after arriving, a strange imposter of Mario begins causing messes of weird slime and graffiti around the island, and even cursing away the sunshine!

Shortly after meeting a seemingly sentient robotic back-mounted water pump machine named F.L.U.D.D., poor Mario gets blamed by their not very good court system, lacking any hard evidence and sentencing him based on the fact that "he looks kinda like the guy who did it". Mario is then sentenced to clean up all of the pollution and graffiti using F.L.U.D.D.

The water-themed game play gimmicks are a fun idea, but already present one of the difficulties I had with this game - one of the more important functions F.L.U.D.D. can perform is to spray water forward at enemies to stun or defeat them. Unfortunately, the aiming for this system is very awkward, and you have to very lightly press the fire button if you want to be able to shoot water while running, something that also barely worked for me. These awkward controls resulted in me suffering a lot of cheap-feelings hits, being unable to orient both the camera and my aiming in time to stop an approaching enemy. Thankfully, the other special F.L.U.D.D. moves are more reliable - there's a water jet-pack move that lets you briefly hover after jumping, helping with both reaching far platforms and making a precision landing. You also get to eventually unlock a water-blast jump that sends you flying high into the sky. Sadly, while the controls for both these functions are quite responsive, they tie into another big problem I had with the game - the camera and the physics. Every time Mario goes airborne, he always feels kind of awkward and floaty to me, and because of how the normal high jump works, I'd sometimes send Mario back-flipping in the opposite direction I wanted to send him. The camera seems to be a semi-cinematic style, sometimes moving involuntarily while I'm on a moving platform making it really hard to line up my next jump or rocket blast.

The game's world is set up like it was in Super Mario 64 - You have your main Hub world, Delfino Island, with magical portals that you can eventually discover and unlock that send you into other locations. Each of these special locations contain many different missions. Some of the missions I found pretty enjoyable, even with the awkward controls and camera, the environments are lovely to look at and fun to explore. Some missions will send you into what I call "obstacle courses" where Mario gets F.L.U.D.D. taken away and is tasked with navigating platforms over a bottomless pit -meaning that the controls and camera become just that much more of a nightmare. I dreaded every one of these obstacle courses and couldn't wait for them to be over so I could go back to hopping around on solid ground again.

Graphically, the game is delightful. Being one of the Gamecube's launch titles, it did a nice job of showcasing the water motion and shader effects the new console could pull off, which are pretty impressive for a game from 2000, and it still looks really nice to me now. As with any Mario game it is also bright, colorful and full of fun character designs. The music and sound design are great, though the limited voice acting in the game made the cut scenes feel kind of strange and disquieting - characters would often speak to Mario, but Mario would just stare back at them and barely emote at all, making him feel kind of creepy. This is a shame because having gotten to meet Charles Martinet (Mario's voice actor) last year, I find Mario all the more charming as a character because whenever he makes his happy Mario sounds I think of Mr. martinet having himself a good time in his little voice recording booth, and can't help but smile at that.

Outside of wonky controls and a fussy camera, another problem with the game is the usual Nintendo sexism. Not long after starting the game, Peach is once again treated like a trophy object and repeatedly kidnapped, needing rescuing multiple times over. This sort of thing i off-putting when it happens, and makes me glad that they aren't doing this to her in that recent Super Mario movie.

Overall, I have very mixed feelings about this game. Much like with Sonic Unleashed, I love the visual presentation, the audio design, and some of the level missions are a lot of fun - while others are a slog to be simply endured. If you have a lot of patience for difficult 3D platforming, you may have a good time, but otherwise I might suggest looking into one of Mario's other game offerings - there's certainly no shortage of them!

*Note: This is another game I decided to just post up my review of even though I haven't finished it, due to continuous frustration and loss of interest.

[hexaliamapreviews]

Celeste Map Reviews #20

YOOOOO!! 20 reviews!! Let's celebrate by hopping into 6 maps of many shapes and sizes!! wooo!! FIRST! - The Quarry by xolimono! - SORRY! I missed this one in the sequence of SCD releases so here I am playing it today! Here we have an advanced router with falling blocks and feathers taking the stage!Head down the quarry by using the falling blocks to setup tight gaps, and make sure you take every route into account when taking feathers! The actual routing here isn't hard at all; like I've mentioned before it's like a spice that enhances the gameplay more than anything. Said gameplay is really fun and decently sc core. I liked the focus on feather wall ricocheting for the berries, and the map itself is very pretty! Xolimono deco goes crazy again! The rooms aren't too long and so this experience was quite the nice jaunty one too! Oh yeah, this map is inspired by The Climb (goated map)! Overall, hear me out... The Climb but you go right instead of up! 9.2/10

SECOND! - Debug Map by Adam Korinek! - First it was F5 puzzles (haven't played FFFFF yet actually, I really should at some point huh), now it's F6 puzzles! Enter the debug map and solve as many puzzles as you can! I'll be real I'm still not really sure how this map even works with how rooms disappear when solved but it really adds to the impressiveness of this map. There are FIFTY rooms available to solve, ranging from less puzzly rooms with fun gimmick platforming, to full on puzzles that take a good-thinking brain to figure out. Thankfully, only 33 rooms need to be finished to finish the map, with the full 50 completion unlocking a berry. I'm thankful for the leniency, since some of the puzzles are definitely quite brutal without help... (very interesting in how Boundless and Cube Escape work :thinkeline:). Of the rooms I completed, I liked the Combination Lock puzzles, the Jigsaw Puzzle, The Red Noise, Ghost Leg, Evidence and many more! Oh yeah, there's also a screenwrap gimmick present in the platformy rooms which makes for even more fun thinking depth! The music is quite good as well, and the map is decorated to look like how it does on the debug map which is very neat! I'm really happy I played this map, super enjoyable puzzlefest! Though I will say accidentaly swiping F5 at 25/50 was definitely a moment! Overall, eagerly awaiting F7, 11.1/10

THIRD! - Cinnabar Monolith by juckter! - Hiiii burgerhex!! This should be the most recent SCD map as of this review, and it's a cool one! The opening room features a dream zip mover! A very popular modded entity that will surely lead to very fun ga- oh, it's a zip mover on top of a dream block... Well I sure got fooled by that one lmao (can you tell I'm very smart? :3). So there's the real gimmick, dream blocks with zippers underneath, a good way to build some setups. And indeed, these red advanced rooms revolve around quick paced platforming around dream blocks and the zippers triggered by them. I like the gameplay for the most part, and there are a good few ideas explored around the main machanic. The map has a nice look to it with the smaller spiked blocks involved too! Overall, commas are important! dream zip mover vs dream, zip mover. 8/10

FOURTH! - Simple Complex by _dan! - simple complex? I find it quite complex simple actually. This one showed up in modding_showcase outta nowhere for me, but it seemed interesting so I gave it a go. This expert/low gm short n sweet map feature two very cool gimmicks: jump toggled blocks and fields that change change madeline into bounce helper physics on a dime flip! The gameplay composition is simply outrageously good, the way the blocks are seamlessly reused between physics versions is so fun to play through! Kevins also make an appearance later on too, and they have some good gameplay attached to them. As for the berries, I really like them too! The first showcases the bounce helper speed downboost and the second has a sisyphean reform climb between jumper blocks, great gimmicky uses of the mechanics! The final room is a decent bit harder, utilising everything learned earlier amd having some decently tight input sequences. The deco is pretty alright but the song pick is a banger! Overall, why is it called simple complex when you simp the le plex food the com?? 9.7/10 FIFTH! - Hollow Forest by Aubrey! - My first hard nail map, and it's really, really good! This one is a high gm shorter map that focuses on the elytra (lol), oooobviously this map is a nailer, featuring quick input sequences, nail spikes and nail bubbles too! There's a lot of diverse nail tech used throughout, like nailboosts, nail climbs, and nail bubble boosts. All are used in what is some very fun gameplay. It takes some getting used to early on, but once it clicks you'll be having a lot of fun as you try to clear each room! Final is my favourite probably, the nailboosts are very satisfying to hit. As for deco, this map is pretty! The structuring is intricate and looks good, the stylegrounds and coloring are well done, and the music is quite good too! I highly recommend this map to anyone who's up for a challenge! Aubrey, you cooked! Overall, Hollow forest? I wonder what that could be a reference to? Maybe a hat in time. 9.4/10

SIXTH! - Ascensia by donker19! - And to finish off the review, we've got the newly released Ascensia + The Nexus! No Nexuses here, sorry Nexus fans, but I did beat the 50 room timer tower! After a nice talk with an npc for a strawberry, it was time to climb! There are 5 sects of 10 timer trials each, increasing in difficulty, from int to expert. The whole gimmick of this map is to survive the room for 30 seconds before being able to leave and move on up to the next. The first sect has lots of cycles to dodge, the second is a very bumpery ride (yooo its the things from pumber!!!), the third has icy floors and wind, the fourth has moving platforms, and the 5th is a megamix of guest rooms from various cool mappers! Each sect ends in a special segmented "boss" trial with 3 10 second mini trials. I really like this concept! Sometimes some maps have something like this in a room or two, but a huge map based all around this is a first for me, and that's really cool! Most rooms have some cool dodging strategy to them, a couple were on the annoying side, but I think that was inevitable. Overall, I had a lot of fun playing, the deco is very well done, and the music picks are excellent! (hi bloons tower defense six!) Overall, who is the poor poor person who's gonna golden this thing first? 9.1/10

WOOOOO EPIC!! 2 days of mapping peak brought to you by the mappers above, multicolour thigh highs, skirts, big hoodies, and black nail polish :3

[project1939]

(I Love Lucy's second season opener: the candy factory episode, top, Grandma Moses being interviewed by Betty Parry on the radio, bottom.)

Day 59- TV and Radio: 

TV: 

What’s My Line? season 3, “Miss America, Neva Jane Langley,” September 14th, 1952. 

I Love Lucy, season 2, episode 1, “Job Switching,” September 15th, 1952. 

Radio: 

The Jack Benny Program, “Phil Harris is Replaced by Bob Crosby,” September 14th, 1952. 

Betty Parry, “Grandma Moses Interview,” September 15th, 1952. 

This is Your FBI, episode 389, “His Brother’s Keeper,” September 12th, 1952. 

Today I Love Lucy started up again for its second season, and it was a welcome addition to my TV choices. It was an episode most people are familiar with or have at least seen pictures of. Lucy and Ethel decide to get jobs, and Ricky and Fred take care of the housework. While Ricky cooks 4 pounds of rice for dinner- because that seemed about right to him for four people!- Lucy and Ethel work at a chocolate factory. The famous conveyer-belt scene occurs. It still makes me laugh, even though I’ve seen it many times. Both Vivian Vance and Lucille Ball are masters of physical comedy- if you take your eyes off one, the other one makes you laugh just as hard. 

On What’s My Line? there was a can-can dancer and a woman who made fly swatters. One of the guests was a professional football player, and Arlene Francis guessed it on her free guess before the questioning even started! I’ve never seen that happen, and she was really apologetic. Apparently, this guy played for the Los Angeles Rams. The celebrity was Miss America, and Hal Block got pretty gross with her. He’s always coming on to any single female guest, especially the pretty ones. Usually he’s more pathetic than creepy, but in this episode he was creepy. When Miss America came to shake the hands of the panel, he leapt out of his seat and grabbed and kissed her quite forcefully. Not on the lips, thankfully- but I could barely watch.  

On the radio today there was a very interesting interview. Betty Parry had a kind of talk show at the time, and there is a surviving interview with Grandma Moses. At the time, Grandma Moses was 92 years old. I didn’t even know she was a real person, but she sounds amazing. She started painting professionally at 78, and her folk art is famous. She gave tips on living a long enjoyable life. I looked it up, and she ended up living to 101! She was born in 1860, which is just crazy to think about. I was hearing a recording of a woman speaking in the 1950s, who was born before the Civil War! 

...And now a word from today’s best sponsor: Lucky Strike Cigarettes! Be Happy! Go Lucky! L. S. M. F. T.! No, not Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, it’s- “Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco!” Only Lucky Strikes are made better to taste cleaner, fresher, and smoother! Every single cigarette ad ever says their brand is “smoother,” so you know it must be true! Luckies are tightly packed, so there are no hotspots and no annoying loose ends that get in your mouth and spoil the taste! And they are the only brand that makes this author want to smoke again! (I smoked Luckies years ago, because they were so old-timey and different. But I haven’t smoked in years, so I’m not about to start up again.) 

[jypbae7]

Me me meeee <3 I'll request a full analysis about NCT's Johnny! 😚😚 Include errrrthing baby hahaha 18+ stuff, him as a romantic partner aka bf <3 whatever you want! I'm so excited to read this akndfkgkfn 😎😎😎❤️❤️

Johnny Suh - Natal chart

Finally finished it!! Johnny was actually the most requested member I received in my inbox! Sorry that it’s nearly the length of a novel lmao but I sectioned it to make it easier to read and navigate 💕

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Virgo rising, Leo Mars

While Aqua is a fixed sign it is definitely the most adaptable of the 3 fixed signs due to the Air element of Aquarius plus the ever spontaneous Gemini moon. Most things that make the rest of us feel anxious tend not to seem that scary to fearless Gemini or cool as a cucumber Aquarius.

Natural social butterflies who love their tribe deeply and fiercely once they find them. Busy bodies who are easily bored if left unstimulated too long which will turn into crankiness if not rectified quickly. Thankfully Aqua & Gem have a zest for life that makes them quite easy to please. They are open minded and will gladly stay up till 3am talking about aliens and conspiracy theories, just like they are thrilled to go on last minute random trips just because why not (Gemini impulsivity at it’s finest lmao)

Gemini is a mutable sign unlike fixed Aquarius. This is a pretty big difference and something that goes under the radar with Aquas due to that cool as a cucumber attitude. Because they are adaptable and typically very easy going they don’t often show their stubborn aggressive sides and honestly prefer not to have to unless they are feeling extremely disrespected or pushed beyond their boundary which is a BIG let me say that again, BIG no no with Aquarius (almost as big as it is for for the water signs)

Adding to these deep inner thoughts and vast inner world that Aquarians have, his Virgo rising adds more depth and self awareness. As perfectionists and highly intellectual minds they are a lot more self critical than they let on, just like they are a lot more caring and soft than they let on. They deeply care about others and the world in general seeing the big picture in a very earthy and traditional way - good people should strive to put good out and try their very best at whatever they do. They deeply dislike mean, malicious, manipulative, or spiteful behavior or people and generally keep guarded around people they don’t know well until they feel certain of the person’s true intention. There’s nothing Virgo is more cautious of than to be swindled or hurt by someone they take it reallyy hard and they know it.

Now we alllll know his swag and confidence is legendary and we can all thank the Leo Mars placement for that and the beautiful lush shiny hair and big toothy smile (Looking at Mark, Jaemin and Xiaojun like 👁👄👁) But beyond the aesthetics and dripping confidence and charisma, Leo is another creative sign that tends to be a lot more intellectual and intuitive than people give them credit for.

When the other members call Johnny one of the scariest members you can bet it’s his aggressive fiery fixed Leo Mars which is loud and even violent when provoked enough not to mention the fixed Aquarius tornado energy...Oooof that is a lot of Fixed sign rage right there honey so let’s tread lightly with Johnny boy and appeal to his open minded and friendly nature with a gentle tone and non-pointed words during discussions and all shall be good even if there’s some disagreeing!

Honestly if the argument starts getting bad you can always distract the Gemini moon by just bringing up other interesting topics! Geminis minds move FAST and while they can process a lot of information quickly and precisely they tend to get distracted easily (but here’s the good side of that😉)

Aquarius have a deep love of family and the desire to create their own (Geminis often share this trait) they can feel a bit like outsiders or “other” from people and thus crave to build a tribe of their own - this can be friends that are lifelong deep relationship carried on no different than family or starting their own family with a partner and kids

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Leo Mars, Virgo Rising

Built off laughter, time spent together whether its at home hanging out casually or going out for meals and fun new things to try together

Wants to bounce lots of ideas off of his closest friends and secretly loves doing creative stuff together the most - this is pretty evident if you watch JCC he’s happiest when he’s doing stuff with his bros whether it’s sporty, musical, or crafts

Does not like to be vulnerable even with those he’s close to, tends to stick to neutral and more light hearted topics of interest and conversation because he prefers to spread a good mood instead of a heavy one

If he really trusts you or has worked through it enough already to want to talk about something serious you’d better listen cause the boy drops gems of wisdom and has a really soft mushy heart

Immediately adopts his close friends as family and no matter the time apart or distance will always treat them the same

Likes friends he can learn from and take on new adventures with they satisfy the intellectual Virgo rising and Aqua & leo sign thrill needs - Gemini is all about BOTH of these

Deeply appreciates loyalty, acts of service, and quality time with his friends and family - makes his heart soooo happy BUT

He would rather fucking DIE than let you or anyone see him cry so he cries like 4 times a year at 3am in the bathroom while everyone’s asleep (HIGHKEY feel like Ten & Jaehyun are exactly like this too)

Romantic relationships and preferences: Capricorn Venus, Leo Mars, Capricorn Juno, Capricorn Eros

Mr. Johnny Suh has THREE Capricorn placements tied to love and intimacy so that’s saying something lmao

Going against Aquarius’ open mindedness and anti-traditional persona Capricorn prefers all things traditional and stable.

Very much does acts of service for his partner as a sign of affection also lots of touching and quality time.

A veryyyyyy spontaneous boyfriend/partner thanks to that Gemini moon - he either wants to stay at home in pjs and order food and have movie marathons or whisk you away on zero notice to a trip lol

Earth sign men are drawn to women who embody very flowery feminine energy and aesthetics. They prefer a “natural beauty” who can spice it up sometimes rather than a super flashy 24/7 partner. (He’s said in the past that his ideal type is Yoona which says it all lol)

Will be highly drawn and intrigued by someone with a high work ethic and high intellect. BIG bonus points if you can keep up with his sarcasm and jokes.

Earth signs are pretty physical and handsy so expect to have little personal space around him, make no mistake they enjoy this very much. He will definitely be grabbing you and picking you up often! He’ll be smirking down at you devilishly watching you get flustered backed into a corner trapped by the sheer size of his muscular body. A Capricorn male’s ego really enjoys this dynamic, trust me lol.

Also another quirky male Capricorn trait that actually applies to Aqua & Gem as well… They like to initiate all the touchy feely stuff - What I mean by that is they can get easily spooked by clinginess too early on. These three signs want romance and definitely want to feel that you’re into them but they also are innately independent and enjoy relationships where their partner can also go off into the world and thrive in their own way and meet back together in the middle. So long as you can find a happy balance, when you are together you won’t have to initiate anyways honestly because he’ll be the one pulling you.

Okay let's talk about Juno & Eros - Juno in Capricorn is about serious, loyal, long term commitment though they tend to marry later in life once they’ve already achieved the things they want to for themselves which I can see being the case for Johnny as well especially with his current career.

18+ Preferences:

Eros in Cap where to begin - high libido, stimulated by visuals and touch. Wear interesting colors, patterns, textures to catch his eyes & his hands - lacy lingerie is a plus the texture will really excite him and the feminine look will please his earthy traditional cap side. If you really wanna have him drooling throw in some spicy contrasts like a leather choker with the lace set and you’ll also set off his Aqua, Gem, and Leo placements as well ;)

Tends to bounce back and forth between fucking you like you’re a cheap groupie whore and taking his time staring you in the eyes and kissing you passionately as he’s stomach deep - no inbetween but really who’s complaining??

DOM KINK - NOT UP FOR DEBATE he has THREE Capricorn placements for fucksake meaning 3 cardinal signs which are literally called “the INITIATORS” plus all his other fixed personality placements

More of the classy rich ceo vibes kind of dom (suits, expensive cologne and jewelry, leather, black and red binds) - takes you to bougie hotels when he really wants to ramp it up and not have to care who hears. You can expect not to sleep those nights but he’ll damn sure pamper you afterwards with cuddles, food, and a spa date.

Now...with all his Air sign placements...I have to say it...he’s a kinky ass dude. Few things are off the table, but he’s also super content with “normal” stuff too. It’s more about the person and experience for him than doing the wildest things possible. So if it feels natural and right then he’s down.

Don’t be surprised if he wants to tie you up like a pretzel or role play because he’s definitelyyy going to ask. Well actually he’d probably just buy whatever outfit or binds he wanted to use and casually be like “look what I got for us baby” as if it’s matching charm bracelets or something. The good news is he’ll dress up and get into it with you and he’s super receptive to your boundaries, fantasies and making it enjoyable as possible for you too.

If you flip the script on him and suddenly break the norm either by taking the initiate/lead first or trying something new he will absolutely combust 🤯 and be in the palm of your hand staring in absolute awe and fascination till he can’t take it anymore and reclaims his spot as the one in control

Nudes, videos, and phone sex when apart are a definite and they really keep the passion burning for him which is honestly VERY important and don’t worry he’s NOT shy and you will be grateful for the beautiful collection of photos and videos 🤤

Boredom for Aquas, Gems, and Caps can quickly lead into self-sabotaging behaviors and/or wandering eyes not because they don’t value loyalty but that they really need and benefit from mental stimulation and feeling wanted so when that’s gone they can pull away

Honestly pretty much any type of lingerie or outfit will turn him on because the most arousing part for him is knowing that you spent time doing such a naughty thing for his sake

Breeding kink - 3 earth placements and has said himself in interviews he would’ve started having kids at 25 if he wasn’t an idol soooooo that’s a definite. He imagines you pregnant with his baby and it makes him super soft and warm which quickly turns to super turned on. He loves the primal marking aspect of claiming you in such a way and also watching you unravel to the point of begging him to do it. Even if it’s just “play” he loves it and will probably think about it a lot more than you know. If you ever do it for real he will be utterly and completely obsessed with you forever and be practically more excited about all the stages of your pregnancy than you are

[therenlover]

Brutal (A Demon!Daniel Bruhl x Starlet!Reader Ficlet)

(So, this is the first little ficlet in my Sour series, which can be found HERE! I hope you enjoy it! Also, enjoy blurry Checo, because he’s who @creme-bruhlee and I imagine as demon!Daniel)

“And I'm so tired that I might / Quit my job, start a new life / And they'd all be so disappointed / 'Cause who am I if not exploited?”

Synopsis: A crime of passion accidentally summons a handsome demon who offers to make your deepest desires come true... for a price, of course. 

Rating; M (16+)

Warnings: Vague Allusions to Past Dubcon/Noncon, Explicit Language, Implied Sexual Content, Non-Explicit Murder, Making A Deal With A Demon, Maybe A Tiny Bit Of Monsterfucking???? If You Squint??? Not Really Though

Word Count: 1500~

-------

“What is it that you desire?”

The man- no, creature- before you was shrouded in the darkest corner of your dressing room, perched languidly upon the chaise lounge that had been oh so kindly included in the rider of your contract by whatever filthy fucker decided they wanted to have you this time. He didn’t matter now, though. No, not now that his brains were splattered against the carpet. The only thing that mattered anymore was the creature in the corner. 

Even in the darkness, you could see its razor-sharp teeth glinting in the low light. 

Trembling with unused adrenaline, you smiled back at it, hands still covered in blood. “I’m not answering that until you answer a few questions of my own,” 

Surprisingly, the thing seemed to lean further back into its plush seat as it nodded, long pointed tail undulating slowly, like a python preparing to strike. “Very well. It makes no difference to me how long you draw out our little deal,” slowly, the thing chuckled, “Besides, for you, pretty one, I’d wait all the time in the world,” 

You groaned at his exaggerated wink. 

Still, it was too late to turn back now. With the blood on your hands for the death of the man at your feet, both physically and metaphorically, there was nowhere to go but forward. Maybe making a deal with the devil wasn’t your original plan, but it sure as hell was better than prison. With a sigh, you sat down heavily into your high-backed makeup chair. 

“So I’m assuming you’re a demon?”

The creature in the corner made some sort of deep, proud noise in its chest as its two, shadowy hands came up to stroke its curved horns, much like a goat’s, with a certain puff-chested reverence. Even while beholding it in that darkness, its features shrouded in black, there was an allure to the strange monster, a strange, sick draw. You were helpless to whatever had appeared before you and all its powers. Somehow, though, you had seemed to intrigue it despite your comparative weakness. 

“I go by many names, but demon is one of them,” it purred, red eyes glinting with something more than bloodlust, “I prefer others,”

“What should I call you then?”

“Whatever you please,”

You scoffed. “You said you had many names, why can’t you tell me even one?”

It huffed a long sigh, and if you didn’t know better, you would’ve said that you saw smoke erupt from where its nostrils should be. 

That being said, it didn’t seem like the thing was frustrated. If anything, the creature seemed amused. From its words, you could only assume it had been hundreds of years since it had last entertained itself on the human realm. You could only hope your rage was entertaining enough to keep any of its less desirable emotions at bay. 

“Names have power, Schatz. I can’t just go around telling everybody who I am,” it’s accent felt thicker as it leaned back, “but I suppose, if you and I were to make a deal, that I could allow you to name me something. Or I could choose one for you,”

“What if I didn’t make deal with you?” you challenged the creature with a smirk. 

It hummed low in its chest as it pondered your question. “Now that would be no fun,” 

“For me or for you?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. Time was getting short now, with the clock on the wall ticking down the minutes until someone would arrive at your dressing room door to lead you out towards the set where the rest of the cast and crew were waiting. If they found you with the body it was over. Things with the demon needed to be resolved, and they needed to be resolved fast. 

Thankfully, it didn’t toy with you any more than you expected it to. 

“For both of us,” it replied, tail flicking almost excitedly, “I can’t touch you if we don’t make a deal, for better or for worse, and even then your soul wouldn’t be mine to toy with until the deal was complete. That being said, you’re in a pretty sticky situation. I think you need me just about as much as I need you, so I’ll ask again; What do you desire?”

You swallowed thickly. 

On one hand, you couldn’t imagine things would end up very pleasantly for you once the dark shadow who had staked its claim on that awful chaise lounge finally did have a chance to get its clawed hands on your soul. On the other hand, though, you had nothing left to lose. Fame, especially so young, always came at a price. You would wager to guess that even if your soul hadn’t been claimed by a demon, that it had already been stolen away by the producers and directors that pulled the strings of your life like you were some obedient little puppet dancing for an audience who wanted to devour you whole. 

In the end, an eternity in Hell with whatever was grinning at you like the Cheshire cat from the shadows might even be preferable to the horrors you’d already seen. 

Slowly, you answered its question. 

“I want to make every single person who ever took advantage of me suffer the same pain they put me through,” 

The creature’s face split into a toothy smile. 

“Now that’s what I like to hear,” 

Moving like smoke on water, it stood from its place on the chaise lounge, morphing in shape and size as it approached and held out it’s newly human-shaped hand to you. In his new form, at least, you assumed it was a he, the creature was handsome, all dark eyes and slick hair. He looked young, and somehow, even with his new, thin lips and human teeth, he retained his signature smile. You took his hand and shook it without hesitation.

Even with your heart beating almost out of your chest, you had to admit that, with a demon at your side, you felt more empowered than you ever had before. 

He noticed. 

“I am known to my kin as Asmodeus,” he cooed, long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he drew near to you. You couldn’t bring yourself to mind, “You, though, my sweetest pet, may call me Daniel,” 

Daniel. 

Somehow, even after you had seen the faintest traces of his beastly form, you had to admit that the name suited him. Maybe not as well as Asmodeus, but it worked well enough. You looked up at him through lidded eyes. “I’m-”

Before you could answer, he pressed a finger to your rouged lips. 

“I know everything about you sweetling, no need for introductions. There is one last thing we need to do to seal the deal, though,” 

A pit formed in your stomach as you gulped, caught in Daniel’s entrancing gaze. You had to assume there was some sort of magic to it, a spell that kept you trapped for all long as he could stare down into your eyes. Still, it would do you no good to fight it. Besides, the pangs that were making their way through your whole being weren’t fear. 

Oh no, they were something much worse. 

“What do we need to do?” You asked, wetting your lips with your tongue. 

Daniel replied with a sly smile and a soft chuckle. “I need you to kiss me, of course,” 

Who were you to disagree with the expert?

With all the strength and bravery you could muster, you surged up and met Daniel’s lips with your own, melting into the kiss as he quickly took over, skilled tongue darting into your mouth to claim it as his own. He bit hard on your lip, hard enough to draw blood, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mind, not when your hands were busy exploring up under his shirt and finding purchase on the firm muscles that waited below. 

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly keeping his hands to himself either.

Sooner than you would have liked, though, Daniel was pulling his lips away from yours. It was just a fraction of an inch, your swollen mouths still connected by a string of saliva tinted a dark red with your blood, but you were already keening from the loss of him the second you caught your breath. The sound pleased him. 

“What are we to do first, sweetling?” he purred, letting his nails run gently against the soft skin of your waist, “I’m at your command,” His breath was hot against your fact, and he smelled like gun smoke. 

It drove you wild. 

You snuck a look at the clock before turning back to him, eyes aflame. “In about ten minutes we’ll need to have the mess in here cleaned up with any evidence gone, but before we do that, I want you- no, I need you to fuck me. Can you make that happen?”

Daniel beamed. 

“Oh, sweet girl, anything is possible with me at your side,” As he whipped you around to push you against the chaise lounge, licking his lips, he couldn’t help but add, “I believe this is the beginning of a very beneficial partnership,” 

And against all odds, as you hooked a leg up around his waist and pulled him in for another searing kiss, you had to agree.

--------

a/n: WOW WOW WOW THAT WAS GARBAGE BUT I LOVED IT. I finished season 5 of Lucifer yesterday, so I was in the mood for some demonic shit. I hope it was at least semi-enjoyable despite being straight up shitty writing lol. 

Taglist: @tatestripedsweater , @elaineygrace , @multiyfandomgirl40 ,  @lovelymischief , @be-cautious-around-bri 

[otonymous]

The ABCs of Shaw (MLQC Headcanon - NSFW)

Dearest Nonny,

Thank you so very much for your lovely comments!  💕 And I'm SO GLAD you asked for Shaw’s dirty alphabet because god knows my thirsty ass can’t think of anything else 🤣  Take care of yourself as well and hope you enjoy the read!

Warnings: NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language - reader discretion is advised.  Specific spoilers noted in the appropriate section(s) below.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Surprisingly sweet and tender.  Shaw is actually a bit of a teddy bear once he's decided to let you in his life

Sex is very passionate with him: often hard and fast, at times desperate and rough — the two of you will typically come down from the high of release with your foreheads pressed together, feverish bodies cooling as you both gasp for much needed air in between deep kisses, punctuated by the occasional chuckle at the fact that neither of you can keep your hands off one another

A marathon cuddler: his lithe yet strong arms will wrap tightly around you, as if the strength of his emotions could be conveyed through his embrace alone

Chatty Cathy: Shaw actually loves to talk after sex.  Topics could range from something as mundane as what to eat for dinner to contemplating the meaning of life.  He’s a great conversationalist (partly because he’s got such a wide range of interests).

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Shaw loves his cock.  It’s huge — long and thick.  He also loves the way you respond to it: immediately on your knees with your mouth wide open 🤣

He loves your eyes.  He loves how expressive they are.  He loves their honesty - the way you can never truly hide what you’re feeling.  And when they crinkle at their corners when you smile?  That’s the best thing in the world, as far as Shaw is concerned

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Loves to pull out just enough to cum on the folds of your pussy.  Will then proceed to use the head of his cock to slowly smear it along the length of your slit, still trembling in ecstasy

Sk8ter Boi is instantly hard again if you dip a finger in it and bring it to your mouth (tbh though, his refractory period is pretty much nonexistent)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) - ***SPOILERS***

He’s in love with his brother’s girl

Loves the smell of your pussy on his hands

If he could, he would never wash them after fingering you

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Don’t judge a book by its cover: despite his youth, his sex game is strong

Not only is he experienced, he is also adventurous and up for experimentation (grad students need to conduct research after all 🤣)

F = Favourite Position

Pressed up against a wall: because 85.72% of the time, this man can’t wait until he’s in a bedroom

Neither will you, to be honest, especially if Shaw’s engaging in one of the following activities: playing bass guitar, cruising effortlessly on his skateboard, speaking oh-so-eloquently about his archeological research and studies, blinking, breathing, etc.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Post-coital giggles and a few seductive chuckles leading up to intercourse, but Shaw is nothing but serious when he’s actually making love to you

Sex is raw and intense

At times, it actually feels spiritual: identities merge and unseen wounds are healed

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Your man is nicely trimmed and neatly groomed

And no, the carpet is not lavender as well 🤣

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Very intimate and romantic — Shaw is actually quite the sensitive soul.  This is true even when the sex is rough and fast, such as when he’s banging you to within an inch of your life beneath an overpass or backstage before a set

There are rare moments (usually when he is particularly frustrated) when Shaw’s tough-as-nails façade slips and you get a glimpse of the melancholy that resides in his heart.  You cannot help but sense that he’s been deeply hurt in the past.  This won’t be something he’s readily willing to talk about at the beginning of your relationship, only when he feels like he can really trust you

Thus, there are times when sex feels like a form of emotional healing for this man.  It is more than a means by which to sate his physical desires.  The intensity of his love and feelings for you remind him of his humanity.  The fact that you can love him reminds him that he, too, is deserving of love and affection

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He’s young, healthy and a grad student.  Of course he jacks off 🤣

On average, a few times a week

The frequency increases during exams as a way to relieve stress (though this guy remains unflappable most of the time)

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Director’s Cut: Shaw LOVES, LOVES, LOVES to film your sex sessions

Even better: making love while watching clips of the two of you going at it

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Shaw isn’t really that picky tbh — any place is fair game when the urge hits

Still, he has to admit that your bedroom is pretty comfortable

That time he fucked you doggy style against a lectern at Loveland University was pretty hot too - he often thinks about that experience 🤣

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Shaw is most turned on when you show him that you love him — please give this guy plenty of care and affection

The swing of your hips when you walk also makes his cock twitch

He also loves watching you eat: he thinks you’re absolutely adorable when you react to tasty food with unadulterated joy

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Not into name-calling during sex (e.g. “slut,” “whore,” etc.), although he would do it if you so desired

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

As much as Shaw loves to have your lips wrapped around his pole, he’s actually a bigger fan of eating you out

Sk8ter boi isn’t afraid to get down and dirty: he will bury his ENTIRE FACE between your legs when he goes deep sea diving, refusing to surface until you’ve come several times and made his face a shiny mess

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Capable of both, but tends towards fast and rough because y’all are typically boning all over the place

Guess that’s what happens when you can’t keep your hands off each other

You also don’t really have the leisure to be slow and sensual when there’s a line-up for the restroom at the Live House

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

(please see “Pace” above)

Quickies happen often and thankfully, are just as enjoyable as proper sex

Let’s be real: any sex with Shaw is great sex

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As mentioned previously, this grad student is quite adventurous and game to experiment

Take your bag of kinks and feel free to have him root through it for something that might intrigue him — he’s down for whatever and would never judge you

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Can generally last pretty long during a given session

But his true talent lies in frequency — with a practically non-existent refractory period, Shaw is raring to go in no time at all

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) - ***SPOILERS***

this man charges them with his Evol

Boy’s got that Hitachi Magic Wand and isn’t afraid to use it (What?  He’s got stiff shoulders from all that studying!)

Is definitely down to use electronic aids on the both of you

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Despite being snarky when you’re both fully clothed, Shaw is actually quite straightforward when it comes to activities of a more lascivious nature

He would like to be able to tease you, but most of the time he’s already got his pants down around his ankles by the time thoughts of sex run through his head

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

FUCKING LOUD

(Rapid, heavy breathing + ample dirty chatter) x (moans so sexy it should be illegal coming from a man’s mouth) = such a bad combo for discrete quickies but a turn-on nonetheless

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Shaw is also a b-boy.  He knows his windmills get you hot.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

You have to see it to believe it.  Shaw has actually been hiding an ANACONDA in those ripped jeans all this time!

This snake happens to be circumcised

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

HIGH AF.  Nuff said

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Typically likes to cuddle and chat for a bit before falling asleep in that nice, post-coital haze

Please forgive him in advance: Shaw has been known to wake you up on occasion with the slide of that juicy boner between your legs LOL

Thanks for reading! Check out more of my work here!📚

[vannahfanfics]

A Dash of Cream and Sugar

Category: Mild Romantic Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Emi Fukukado, Shota Aizawa

Emi hunched over the counter, fist digging into her cheek with her lips pursed as she sourly fixated on the corner of the coffeeshop. Bent over a laptop, fingers smoothly gliding over the keyboard, the handsomest man she’d ever clapped eyes on diligently attended to his work. Onyx-black eyes lidded as they fixed on the computer screen, wavy brown-black hair tied in a loose bun behind his head, and a white dress shirt clinging to his lean but muscular frame, local prosecutor Shota Aizawa sure was a mouthwatering sight— and a frequent one. The man practically lived on coffee, and thus was a regular figure in the mom-and-pop coffee shop where Emi worked as a barista. 

He’s so attractive that it’s a crime, she moped, slumping further into the counter as her longing mounted. She released a dreamy sigh, hearts practically beating in her eyes while she watched him take a languid sip of his black coffee. How can he walk around looking that fine when he’s a prosecutor? Talk about hypocritical! She giggled at her own joke, drawing the attention of her coworker Yu. 

“Ahhh, daydreaming about life with our local sleep-deprived filthy rich prosecutor, are we, Emi?” the blonde woman crooned as she bopped Emi atop the head with an empty coffee cup. The other woman frowned and rubbed the top of her hair, turning to look at her friend with pursed lips. 

“Not so loud!” 

“Relax. The only one who’s unaware of your affections is the object of your affections,” Yu teased. Emi puffed out her cheeks angrily, but said nothing, because she was right. Despite Emi’s most valiant attempts at flirting— batting her eyelashes, fleeting touches, and even bending over the counter to give a great shot of her endowments— had failed miserably. The man was just oblivious. Stone-faced, he’d just take his coffee with a simple “thank you” and shamble off to his corner to attend to his paperwork. 

Emi was at the end of her rope. She wasn’t getting any younger, and dammit, she wanted this man. 

“What do I do, Yu?” she warbled miserably while turning to plank against Yu’s chest. The woman cooed and patted Emi’s back encouragingly, prompting the green-hand woman to seek further solace in her bosom. Buried in her pillowy chest, Emi’s words were muffled as she groaned, “I just want him to notice me…” 

“Alas, my dear Emi, men are dense sometimes,” Yu tutted and patted Emi atop her head. “However, we women must persevere to win the hearts of men, however blockheaded they may be! It’s clear we have to take drastic measures.” 

“Drastic measures?” Emi echoed, turning up her chin to peer at Yu with pursed lips and a few of her sea-green hair sticking up from her friend’s comforting caresses. 

“That’s right!” Yu asserted and clapped her hands down on Emi’s shoulders, making her jump a little. “You have to lay it on so thick that he can’t possibly think you’re doing anything but flirting. Listen carefully, dear Emi, and we’ll net your man for sure!” Emi straightened up and Yu leaned in close to whisper fervently in her ear, both their gazes flickering to the unsuspecting man sitting quietly in his corner and type-type-typing away… 

That’s how Emi found herself sauntering up to the small round table with a fresh coffee in hand, an exaggerated sashay in her hips and a pleasant smile on her freshly-glossed lips (courtesy of her savior Yu). She called cheerily to Shota, adding a delighted wave to play up the cute and endearing act, and her heart skipped a beat when his lidded black eyes slid in her direction. His eyebrows quirked up his forehead when he noticed the steaming cup of coffee in her hand, her seafoam green acrylic nails a stark contrast to the white paper cup. 

“What do we have here?” he smirked, straightening in his chair. Emi’s knees nearly turned to jelly when he stretched his arms above his head, part of his dress shirt coming untucked from the waistband of his slate gray slacks and revealing a bit of his chiseled abdominals. She wobbled in her heels, legs stumbling in front of each other, but thankfully he had his eyes closed as he popped his aching vertebrae. It gave her just enough time to stagger up to the table and catch herself with the edge— and greet him with a million-dollar smile when he cracked his eyes open. 

“You’ve been here for a while, hard at work,” she explained, setting the fresh coffee down. “I thought it was high time for a fresh cup.” 

“Much appreciated, Emi.” Her nerves sang as he used her name, just like every time; with how often he was here, he was on a first-name basis with all the baristas, especially Emi since she worked full-time to supplement her income as a part-time standup comedian. He took the cup and brought it to his lips, sampling it with a teasingly raised eyebrow. He then smiled at her, and she wanted to do a happy somersault when she saw the pleased twinkle in his onyx eyes. “Perfect. I would be disappointed if you didn’t have my order memorized.” 

“The strongest brew of the day with a dash of cream and sugar and an extra two shots of espresso, or as I like to call it, Liquid Death,” Emi joked with a waggle of her finger. “Of course I know it, since I make it almost every day.” Her heart thrummed when his smirk twitched into an amused smile. 

“And yet, it’s not on the menu.”

“The management believes that it may unnerve our normal customers,” Emi purred with a playful wink. A chuckle rumbled in his chest, throaty in deep, and she melted against the table as her knees once again melted at the devilish attractiveness of this man. I’ll die before I even get to ask him out! She thought, resisting the urge to fan her slowly-flushing face. 

“What a shame,” he tutted and took another sip. Emi watched him with an intense stare— more specifically, the writing in permanent marker on the cup he’d yet to notice, as it was currently hidden underneath his thumb. Would her and Yu’s carefully-constructed plan fall to pieces all due to unfortunate physics? Her heart pounded against his ribcage as she just watched him sip at the coffee, her brows furrowing more and more with each passing second. 

Please notice me… I’m right here! she pleaded silently, nearly reduced to tears with frustration. Her heartbeat rose in pitch with each thump, until it thundered in her ears at near-deafening intensity. 

“Emi? Emi. Emi.” 

“O-oh!” she stammered when Shota’s voice finally reached her. She jerked violently and fluttered her eyelashes as she came back to reality; it took her a few moments to register that he was holding out some bills to her and looking at her in concern. 

“You all right?” 

“H-huh! Oh, yes. I just got lost in thought!” she evaded with a light-hearted laugh. She looked down at the offered bills, then waved a hand dismissively with a smile. “Oh, don’t worry about the coffee! I used my daily free drink.” 

Shota raised an eyebrow questioningly, his hand falling a little. 

“Well, that leaves you without a drink, now doesn’t it?” 

“Bahhh, don’t sweat it!” she insisted with another fluttery wave, using her other hand to rub the back of her neck. “I don’t feel like drinking coffee today.” Shota looked unconvinced, but obediently tucked the bills back into his wallet. He picked up the coffee and sipped at it thoughtfully, once again failing to see the writing scrawled on the white surface. Emi wanted to fall over and throw a tantrum, it was so infuriating how the world hated her so!

“Still, I feel like I should repay you some way…” 

“Really, it’s not ne—” 

“If not monetary reimbursement, then perhaps a date?” 

Emi almost spit all over him with the completely flabbergasted sound that came out of her mouth. Shota actually chuckled a little at the way her mouth fell open and she just stared unresponsively, dumbstruck. 

“While you were staring off into space, I read your little love note,” he revealed, turning the coffee cup around and giving it a shake. Emi had written the poem “Roses are red, violets are blue, if it’s not too much trouble, can I go out with you? <3” in black permanent marker in the white space of the cup. “Quite original, I must say. Much more enjoyable than your phone number, though I suppose I’ll need it,” he said with a wolfish grin and a saucy wink that had Emi almost faint. 

“O-okay,” she said breathily, submitting to the urge to fan her face as a blush blazed across her face. She retrieved her trusty permanent marker and the empty coffee cup, lifting it up with trembling hands to write down her number. Her quivering hands made the numbers jerky and twitchy, but thankfully still legible. When she handed it back to Shota, he appraised it with a hum, and then set it down. 

“Thank you. What time do you get off tonight?” 

“T-tonight?” she wheezed. Though this was everything she’d ever wanted, suddenly it felt like it was all happening too fast. Somehow, she remained steadfast and squeaked out, “Ei-eight…” 

“All right then, Emi,” Shota smiled and leaned back in his chair. “I’ll see you for dinner, then. Now, you and I both should probably get back to work,” he said, motioning to the coffee bar with his chin. She looked back to see Yu struggling to man the front herself and casting desperate glances at Emi. 

“O-okay!” she said breezily, wobbling as the situation finally began to dawn on her. Still, her friend needed her, so she staggered back to her workspace to replace Yu at the register and fumble through the orders with a hazy mind. She kept thinking how much Shota’s coffee order fit him— though he seemed dark and brooding, just like pure espresso, but there was a hint of sweetness, a dash of cream and sugar, swirling within. She couldn’t wait until their date, when she could really get a taste of her new favorite brew…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[dimitribelikov]

The Belikov Chronicles: The Tasha Conundrum Pt.1

✶ I was curious about Dimitri’s past with Tasha, so here’s a rewritten scene from Frostbite in his POV, but with added background of how those two met. ✶ notes : All dialogue between Dimitri, Rose, and Adrian are straight from Frostbite, chapter 13. The rest is mine, based on characters written by Richelle Mead. ✶ warnings : mild language ✶ ships : romitri, hints of Dimitri/Tasha ✶ more one-shots featuring my version of Dimitri can be found here

                                                                 ✶✶✶

      Everything was chaos. Complete and utter disarray. Strigoi attacks like this were unheard of. I wasn’t sure what was more infuriating though, the attacks themselves or the way the Moroi would rather talk out of their asses and argue for hours instead of actually doing something about it. The meeting was going in circles and I could feel my frustration steadily growing with every new, outlandish proposal made. It wasn’t until Tasha flipped the script with her little display that I actually felt a bit of hope. No way would people get on board with her stance of fighting quickly, but it was a step in the right direction. Watching her talk with such passion, the heat of the argument alight in her eyes, it was overwhelming. She was beautiful and the kind of leader that these aimless, rich, assholes needed.

My friend was pretty amazing, I had to admit. Though despite the heated climate around me, I could help but wonder for a moment if she was my friend. Did that term still apply? Since she’d come back into my life, she’d been not-so-subtly pushing for something more. It could be easy to go along with, but something still held me back. A something that I suspected was sitting next to me at that very moment.

Thankfully, I didn’t have much time to ponder my upside down love life. Fire lit up in the audience and with it, panic erupted. I stood to my feet immediately, ready to jump into action if the arguments turned physical. It was a worry in vain, though, seeing as the entire point of the argument was the Moroi’s refusal of fighting with their fists and magic. Surveying the scene only irritated me further. No decisions were going to be made and I wanted to get away from the crowd to see if any more insights were made from the attacks. “You might as well leave. Nothing useful’s going to happen now,” I told Rose and Mason who had stood with me.

As I started to leave, I realized that my only companion was Rose. Mason was too fascinated by the scandal, apparently. As I fell in step with her, letting the sounds of the arguments die away, I realized how strange it felt to suddenly be alone with her. I last saw her at Tasha’s Christmas gathering, but that was a strained time. The memory of our kiss was still fresh and I was doing everything I could to ignore the effect it had on me. Since then, she’d been downright cold towards me. I wasn’t entirely sure why. I suppose because I canceled the rest of our lessons? It didn’t really make much sense to me, though.

Almost as if she could read my mind, Rose provided the answer herself. “Should’t you be in there protecting Tasha? Before the mob gets her? She’s going to get into big trouble for using magic like that.”

I arched an eyebrow at her, picking up instantly on the tone of her voice. Rose actually sounded jealous. Of Tasha. I had been spending a lot of time with the Moroi, but I couldn’t quite place where this newfound vehemence was coming from. “She can take care of herself,” I commented. I found myself wanting to pick at this wound more, to find out exactly what was going on inside her head. Yet at the same time, I was definitely afraid of what I might find.

“Yeah, yeah, because she’s a badass karate magic user,” Rose continued on, letting her emotions lead the conversation. “I get all that. I just figured since you’re going to be her guardian and all . . .”

That brought me to a halt. I knew gossip at the Academy traveled like wildfire, yet somehow, I always felt like I was exempt since I was a guardian. Apparently not. This was exactly what I didn’t want. I still hadn’t given Tasha my answer but it was already dictating my life. Was this the reason Rose had been so cold? Had been avoiding me like the plague? Had been all over Mason? I quickly pushed the last thought out of my head the moment it had sprung up. Mason was a good guy. I knew better than to make this about me. And if Rose had a chance for some happiness with someone deserving of her, then I wouldn’t stand in the way.

But me and Tasha . . .  That was an entirely different matter. I didn’t really know how I felt about the woman still defending her political views in ballroom. We first met when I had just turned nineteen. A bunch of the royals were on a winter getaway in Aspen, Colorado. Snowmass, to be exact. It was a small enough town that made it easier to guard. Plus, there’s a Moroi run ski resort in the mountains there, just like the one in Idaho. My charge, Ivan, had a few friends going for what was sure to be a rowdy, fun packed weekend. I was working, of course, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t have a bit of fun, too.

The first night there was a small gathering in the suite belonging to a Drozdov. Tasha had been invited, though I can’t really remember why. She was clearly an outcast, not quite fitting in. I’d heard the stories, and saw the truth of them in the scar that marred her otherwise flawless complexion. Just because she wasn’t popular, didn’t mean she shied away from the conversations. She was a bit older than me, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward around her. Such beauty and strength wrapped up in a “I don’t give a shit” attitude had caught my attention right away.

The topic of fighting was brought up. One of the Drozdov guys was boasting about “easy” it was to be a guardian. He’d had more than his fair share of vodka shots at that point, which made it hard to actually take offense. He balled up his fist and punched the air for emphasis.

Tasha laughed, bringing everyone’s attention on her. She set down the vodka bottle and stood up. “You’d break your fist instantly, Nik. You have to wrap your thumb like this.” She demonstrated and threw a punch to the air. This was met with whoops from the group, encouraging more. It was every bit as taboo a subject to talk about Moroi fighting then as it is now. There was something scandalous about the conversation topic and the drunken Moroi wanted to encourage more of it. I exchanged a glance with a fellow guardian. We hadn’t been drinking and I could tell that he was as amused as I was.

"You couldn’t break through a sheet of paper with that punch,” Nik laughed.

Rolling her eyes, Tasha responded, “So I don’t have the strength you do in my stick arms, but at least my bones will stay in tact.”

“The power doesn’t come from your arm.” It was me who had spoken, moving away from the wall as I approached her. I tried to push the awkwardness aside, wanting to seem “cool” in her eyes. I’d always had something of a show-off nature and couldn’t help but join in with the taboo conversation. “It’s your hips,” I told her. By now, the entire crowd had fallen to a hush, watching a very unprecedented display with rapt fascination. I got into a fight stance and slowly showed her how to rotate the hips. “Turn like this, use your back foot to put all your weight into the punch, and that’s where you get your strength. The hips. And your hips look more than capable to me.”

The loud cackle I heard belonged to my friend. “Oh Dimka! Beware ladies, he slays more than just Strigoi!”

I dropped my hands and shot Ivan a look. It was Tasha who had pulled my attention again. “Dimka?” she asked, tilting her head to the side as she studied me with curiosity.

“Just a nickname,” I answered with a little shrug.

“I like it.”

Her smile was infectious and I soon found myself forgetting about Ivan’s teasing. We dropped all notions of fighting after that, but Tasha remained at my side the rest of the party. The next evening, we even found time to sneak off together and talk the whole night away in front of a large fireplace in one of the common rooms. There was nothing illicit about it, though. She was pretty and I admired her spirit, but the more we talked and got to know one another, I found something more valuable than a vacation romance. She was someone I could be myself around. Ivan was really only other person I’d ever felt that way about. She even liked my outdated taste of music. We could talk about everything from superficial, amusing topics, to the more serious things such as Moroi politics and even her darkened past. There wasn’t an ounce of judgement from either of us. Even though we’d only known each other three days, at the end of the vacation, it felt as though I’d known her my whole life.

Tasha was a true friend, through and through. We’d kept in contact over the years, but our relationship never seemed anything more than friendly. It wasn’t until she’d showed up at the Academy for her nephew, Christian, that she started hinting at wanting more. Did I want more? The first time we had kissed had been Christmas night, after her party. It was nice, enjoyable. We know each other so well already that there was no fear, no apprehension. Kissing her was comforting, and safe.

But what was safety what I wanted? Or was it danger that always appealed to me more. When her lips had met mine, I couldn’t help but think of Rose’s kiss in the gym just days before. Every part of it was wrong, but there was no denying the passion of that kiss. While under the effects of Victor’s lust charm months before, I had grown a new appreciation for her. Of course the feel of her half naked body underneath mine would light up my dreams for years to come, but it couldn’t compare to that kiss.

There was no charm or spell to dictate us. It was driven solely by Rose’s passion . . . and as much as I don’t want to admit it, mine as well. It had set a fire inside me, making my mind beg for more. Rose was unpredictable, even by my standards, and not knowing what she’d do next thrilled me. Of course my logic had caught up and I put an end to it at once, but the truth was still there. Rose’s kiss had left far more an impression than Tasha’s ever could.

Yet my old friend had offered the perfect solution. Rose could never be, no matter how much my heart yearned for her. Tasha, however, was proposing an ending that would not only keep Rose and Lissa safe and happy, but allow me to live a dream that most dhampirs were never given. Surely I could learn to love Tasha without any difficulty, right?

Either way, I still hadn’t come up with an answer, which made it all the more frustrating to hear the topic from straight from Rose’s mouth. “Where did you hear that?” I asked her.

“I have my sources,” she replied enigmatically. “You’ve decided to, right? I mean, it sounds like a good deal, seeing as she’s going to give you fringe benefits. . . .”

My patience had just run out. I didn’t even know what was going on between myself and Tasha, and I didn’t want to have to explain it to anyone else. Least of the very girl who had tormented my mind into making this such a difficult matter to begin with. I set her with a stern gaze, hoping that she got the message that the topic was off limits. “What happens between her and me is none of your business.” I couldn’t have this conversation with Rose. Not yet. I wasn’t ready. Yet she pushed on in typical Rose fashion. She really was going to be the death of me, I was certain of that.

“Well, I’m sure you guys’ll be happy together. She’s just your type, too –– I know how much you like women who aren’t your own age. I mean, she’s what, six years older than you? Seven? And I’m four years younger than you.”

If I had wondered whether or not Rose was jealous, all doubt was instantly removed. Yes, there was a selfish part of me that took pleasure in knowing that I could get her attention like that, but I quickly pushed it aside. Rose was intoxicating, but we could never be. She’s still only seventeen, I’m her mentor, we’re both set to be assigned Lissa’s guardians. I wasn’t a total asshole and refused to mess up her life with my own selfishness. Reason upon reason stacked up against us, and I felt my control starting to slip as frustration began to seep in. That frustration only doubled when I realized it was exactly the point Rose had made in the gym. My control was always a battle for me.

"Yes,” I finally answered. “You are. And every second this conversation goes on, you only prove how young you really are.”

Shit. Ok, that was a hell of a lot more harsh than I wanted it to be. The problem was, I was feeling cornered. What I wanted was right in front of me but I couldn’t have her. I was mad at the situation, not her. Unfortunately, the more she pushed, the more she became the target of that anger.

My heart raced as I realized what I had done. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe I could still take it back and––

“Little dhampir,” a new voice interrupted. When I looked up and saw Adrian Ivashkov approach, I felt my moody emotions return. Though I wondered if I was only annoyed because he’d interrupted me, I quickly realized that wasn’t the case at all. It was lascivious look in his eyes as they swept over Rose’s body. It was gross, and I wanted nothing more than to smack the smug grin from his face. I did my best to control my expression, but judging by Adrian’s greeting as he continued to talk to Rose, I had a feeling my disgust was pretty obvious.

Was I being a hypocrite, I wondered. I was pissed off that Rose had acted all jealous over Tasha, yet here I was, wanting to explode because she was talking to Adrian of all people. No, that wasn’t it, I quickly realized. Mason was good. I would have been happier if it was him that she was walking away with. Rose deserved someone who could treat her with respect and compassion. I wished it was me, but such wasn’t in the cards. As it were, I silently seethed as I watched her leave with the slimeball, confident that she had no idea who Adrian really was.

With no where else to go, I went in search of Tasha to see if she was free yet. Though part of me suspected there was a more petty reason for suddenly wanting her company . . .

[justanother-unluckysoul]

Working My Way Back To You 4/?

Killian gets captured. When Emma finally rescues him, he’s traumatized and nearly broken from the torture he endured. Angst and h/c galore as Emma helps him through it.

I tried to go easy on the whumpy side of it since it’s supposed to be for Comfortember, but it’s me so I probably failed lol

A slightly shorter chapter today, for the prompts “confession,” and “crying.”

This chapter did NOT want to be written and I'm still not 100% happy with how it turned out lol

But some of my favourite parts are coming up soon, and I am excited to share those with you. So just bear with me for this one!

Read this chapter on AO3

Working My Way Back To You

Chapter 4: Confession + Crying

Once he’s caught his breath and had some more water, Killian insists on using the bathroom and doesn’t seem to have thought it through very well, judging by how long it takes him to figure out he needs Emma’s assistance to do so. But in typical Killian fashion he quickly switches from awkward to inappropriately suggestive, and his dirty innuendoes have Emma blushing. How he can still get to her like that, she doesn’t know. But it’s good to see a bit of his normal swagger returning, although it’s still subdued. She even cleans his teeth for him and cracks jokes about how much more enjoyable he is with his mouth otherwise occupied. She knows full well that she’s set up the perfect opening for another innuendo but the fact that his mouth is otherwise occupied means he can do nothing more than wiggle his eyebrows and grin around the toothbrush. She laughs, and he laughs, and he almost misses the sink when he quickly spits out the minty foam, because he’s laughing too hard. Emma’s heart feels light and full.

“I must apologize for earlier, love,” Killian says once he’s sitting on the bed again.

He suddenly won’t meet her eyes and Emma misses the jovial Killian immediately. He raises his hand slightly in an aborted motion, and then he frowns at it in obvious annoyance. She wonders what he was wanting to do – maybe his nervous habit of scratching behind his ear. And Emma feels intensely sad for him, not being able to do even the simplest things for himself until his one hand heals.

“I woke from another dream to see a stranger leaning over me,” Killian explains, “I let fear get the better of me and I do believe my reaction frightened you, and those poor nurses, quite badly.” He cringes a little at the memory. “Not to mention my vile language.”

Emma almost laughs, still feeling slightly giddy from their previous antics, but she manages to contain it to a smile instead.

“I’m sure they’ve heard far worse than ‘bloody,’” she says.

Killian huffs out a soft breath as he smiles too, and his eyes meet hers for a second before looking down at his hand again.

“I’m afraid I was a bit more vulgar than that before you returned.”

Oh, that makes more sense. She’s heard some of Killian’s more explicit language before, when he’s gotten really worked up about something and let slip some rather creative curses under his breath. He always apologizes if he realizes Emma’s overheard him, not that she particularly minds it. There’s something almost hot about Killian’s muttered profanity. She quickly shakes herself from that train of thought – now isn’t really the time.

“Well, I’m sure they won’t hold it against you,” she says, “After what you’ve been through, I think you’re entitled to a bit of vulgarity every now and then.”

The smile drops from his face as Killian seems to think on that for a moment before he nods slowly.

“All the same, if you see them again, could you pass on my apologies?”

“Of course.”

 **

David and Snow visit as promised, bringing some items from home as requested, along with a paper bag containing a home-cooked meal for Emma and a perfect cup of coffee. Killian rouses himself from his exhausted doze to give them a weak attempt of his usual smile.

“Feeling better?”

“Aye.” At Snow’s side eye he amends – “Getting there. You know, some real food wouldn’t hurt.”

A nurse had brought Killian his breakfast (which, according to Killian, couldn’t really be labelled as breakfast) shortly after the bathroom excursion and Killian had made no attempt to hide the fact that’s he wasn’t a fan of the hospital diet. It didn’t help his mood to have Emma spoon feeding him either.

“Sorry, mate, Emma said you’re on a bland diet for now,” David says, and Killian pouts adorably.

“’Bland’ is an understatement,” he mutters.

“I’ll talk to the doctor later and see about getting you something a bit more appetizing, alright?” Emma says with a smile.

With what little he’d eaten during his imprisonment, Killian’s stomach likely wouldn’t be able to handle much more than the hospital’s provided food. It didn’t stop him from complaining about it though. Emma feels guilty eating her comparatively delicious meal in front of Killian, but he assures her it’s fine. Snow and David don’t stay long, obviously noticing that Killian’s still tired, and moments after they leave, he’s asleep again.

 ***

Around midday, the doctor stops by to check on Killian. Killian endures the pokes and prods with barely a wince and plenty of banter, until the doctor gets to his hand. As soon as he starts to unwrap the bandage Emma can feel the change come over Killian, the stoic bravado giving way to that same fear as the day he’d been rescued. Sitting at his left side, Emma tries to meet Killian’s eyes but he’s staring intensely straight ahead, muscle rippling across his jawline as he breathes short and sharp through his nose.

“This won’t hurt, Captain,” the doctor assures him, “I’m just going to look, okay?”

“Okay,” Killian repeats tightly.

Emma curls her hand firmly around his left forearm. She’s not sure what to say, not sure if anything she says will even help. Her thumb rubs a gentle pattern over his skin. She doesn’t want to look at Killian’s broken hand any more than he seems to. But it’s not as bad as she’d feared. The swelling had decreased from the last time she saw it (thank God that his captors had removed his rings at some point, so they hadn’t caused more damage as Killian’s fingers swelled up), the stitches small and neat, tape binding his fingers together to hold them in place with a splint. Only his thumb had avoided injury. Killian swallows, his head pressing hard against the pillow. Emma tries again to make eye contact and fails.

“Everything looks good so far,” the doctor says, “I don’t think you need the bandage anymore.”

Killian’s breath catches. His body turns towards Emma slightly, his arm tugging against the doctor’s hold. The doctor releases his hand, and Killian tucks it protectively near his chest.

“The most important thing right now is rest,” the doctor advises.

“When can I get out of here?” Killian asks.

His casual tone belies the tension that’s radiating from his body.

“I’d like you to stay for at least a week, just to make sure the antibiotics do their job properly, and to give your body a little more nourishment. You’re healing well but you’ve been through a lot. It’s going to take some time to get your strength back.”

“Surely you don’t think you can keep me in this bed for a week.” Killian’s voice carries a hard edge of steel now.

Dangerous, and desperate. Emma thinks of a wounded animal caught in a trap. She shifts her hand to Killian’s shoulder and squeezes gently.

“No, of course not,” the doctor says, “You’re free to go for a walk whenever you feel up to it. There’s a nice garden outside, and some fresh air and sunshine will do you good.”

He glances at Emma.

“Just don’t let him push himself too hard.”

Killian’s almost vibrating.

“I can make my own decisions,” he says, his voice too loud in the small room, “And I don’t need to bloody stay here either, I’m not-”

Emma hears his teeth click as he bites down on whatever he was going to say.

“No, you’re not,” the doctor says, as if he knows what Killian was going to say (Emma can make a pretty good guess as well – an invalid. Crippled. Broken.), “but you have been through a traumatic event and you’ve got a pretty nasty injury here. You need time to heal and if you try to do too much, too soon it’s just going to end up making things worse for you in the long run. Do you understand that?”

Killian doesn’t answer, just keeps clenching his jaw and glaring at the doorway. Emma smiles at the doctor in what she hopes is a reassuring way. She gets the feeling it’s more like a grimace though.

“He’ll be okay,” she says, “I’ll look after him.”

The doctor doesn’t look convinced, but he nods anyway and turns to leave.

“My hand,” Killian says suddenly and his voice cracks on the second word, his demeanour no longer angry, “Will I ever… get full use of it again?”

“Oh, yes, I believe so. Sorry, I thought you knew. You’ll need physical therapy but yes, it should heal almost as good as before.”

“Almost as good?”

“Captain, I’m sure don’t need to remind you that there was a lot of damage done. Modern medicine is a marvellous thing but… we can only do so much.”

Emma can feel Killian starting to tremble. Thankfully, the doctor decides to give them some privacy now, because it seems the pirate is reaching the end of what he can endure.

“Alright, I’ll check in on you guys later, okay?”

The moment the door closes behind the doctor Killian makes a sound, a soft noise of suffering Emma can’t put a name to.

“Killian?” Emma says worriedly, “Are you okay?”

Killian barks out a mirthless laugh and raises his hand like he wants to scrub his gathering tears away, but of course he can’t, and he looks so hurt by that realization.

“No, I’m not bloody okay,” he says angrily, “They destroyed my damn hand. My only hand, Swan. They’ve crippled me.” He lets out a shaky breath. “Gods, they broke me.”

And there it is. Emma’s been almost expecting him to break down at some point, but now that it’s happening it shocks her all the same. She reaches for him and he folds into her arms, crying silently, tears quickly soaking into her shirt. There’s only so much a person can take and God, poor Killian’s been through it all. Emma feels her own tears burning hot as they slip from her closed eyes.

“They didn’t break you, Killian,” she says, emotion choking her, “Your hand is going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

He has his arms around her, a little awkwardly because he’s trying not to bump his hand on anything, his face pressed into her shoulder. Her hand cradles the back of his head, holding him close.

“I’m sorry, Emma,” he says, his voice cracking, “I’m so sorry, I tried…”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t apologize. Just let it out, Killian, I’ve got you.”

Killian mumbles something else but Emma can’t make it out. She just keeps murmuring assurances through her own tears and holding Killian until he’s able to calm down again. He’s clearly exhausted from his outburst and the subsequent breakdown, because within a few minutes of lying down again he’s drifted into a deep, surprisingly peaceful sleep.

To be continued...

[aijee]

is this a life update or a novel?

Hi all, long time no post! Nice to meet you new followers, and nice to talk to you again for those who’ve stuck around. Just as a reminder, my blog is as much of a fic blog as it is a journal for me to sort my thoughts.

In that vein, here’s a personal update. CW for mental health/anxiety, physical pain, big life changes. There’s lighter stuff at the end!

It’s been both a long and short summer for me, after deciding to quit work and focus on my mental health. I’m a millennial twenty-something whose mind, like many, is tragically crippled with the capitalistic and individualistic values America has brainwashed me with, so I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with being unemployed and depending on my parents. I’m extremely privileged and humbled to be in a family that still maintains income during unprecedented times. I’ve been trying not to let my internalized struggles turn into this self-imposed shame for partaking in pleasures (I remember second-thinking buying a digital comic book for hours). My parents often say, “We worked hard and struggled because we didn’t want our kids to do the same. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying yourself.” Nowadays, they add that I’ve worked hard during college and my post-college job; in their eyes, I’ve more than “earned” a break, especially after losing my graduation, summers, and trips.

I constantly wonder why I impose so many limitations of myself even more during a pandemic. While being aware of global struggle is important for not becoming out-of-touch, I need to remind myself that people don’t have to earn the right to play or be happy or enjoyment. Obvious lack of nuance aside, it’s crazy to think how much capitalism—largely the idea worth is contingent (work) productivity—has deformed my sense of what’s a basic human right versus what should be earned. I think I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I struggle with thinking in extremes; it’s either starvation or hedonism, and the latter earns far more societal vitriol. I think my Asian upbringing has made me hyperaware of what others could be thinking of me, regardless of how accurate those projections are. I’d fact, I rarely assumed positive opinions. Outside of external validation, I realized how poor my self-image really was. Tearing myself down before anyone else could rarely, if ever, softened the blow.

For the first time, I’ve begun to think that my life is my own and no one else’s. It sounds logical on paper, but so much harder in practice in real life, I’ve realized. This isn’t a constant or ingrained thought yet, often peaking in between longer and more familiar strings of anxiety. But it feels like an important realization during a time full of sadness and uncertainty, let alone in my lifetime at all.

And then I injured my spine.

It happened towards the end of the summer, when I was starting to feel more put-together internally. I felt so creatively productive (in avenues I don’t care to share online) and even closer to family. I had a ball revisiting old shows. I ate food I hadn’t eaten in years. And this was suddenly interrupted when, while showering, I was wracked with unimaginable, nonstop pain. I nearly passed out alone in the shower and barely managed to crawl to my bedside to call my parents; I was lucky they came home early. I couldn’t stop crying for almost twelve hours. I was terrified at the possibility that I may be paralyzed or my legs would be affected. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, but I was bedridden and wracked with nausea. I could barely stomach anything, not even water. I couldn’t sleep. I was never brought to a hospital, either on the fear of COVID transmission. The whole time, it was so, so debilitating on a physical and mental front. My head was a nightmare.

Like a bad habit, some of my worst thoughts centered around productivity. I worried about the work I couldn’t do. I felt shameful about canceling plans with friends. I hated being helpless and not being able to take care of myself, and felt guilty for wasting other people’s time taking care of me. And yet, if I was someone else, even a stranger let alone a friend/loved one, I’d be scratching my head over why that person would think these things. Fuck work and other life plans, getting better is the most important thing because you can’t do any of those compromised activities if you’re not at capacity! Duh. Anxiety can really a number on you sometimes and it’s awful just how irrationality fuels the spiral.

I’m grateful to be back on my feet. I’m trying to hold on tightly to that victory, to this positive point that I have worked towards. It’s going to be a challenge to do my recovery exercises daily for my 2-3 month recovery period when I barely remember to floss. Moreover, I’ll be in the middle of moving and working full-time again in the next month, alongside the ridiculous anxiety over some applications and maybe interviews for a different part of my life. But I’m doing my best to take each day at a time and celebrate the good things when they come, however small. I don’t have to ace a final exam or burn my retinas studying for them to deserve victories because, hey, again, happiness is a right and I need to stop gatekeeping myself from it.

Frankly, the injury is largely why I haven’t posted sooner. I don’t think anyone should ever feel obligated to use social media when they aren't up to it. But I actually wanted to ease back into writing before I was injured, starting with this blog.

Some other positive things:

God, I missed the Avatar (Aang and Korra) series so much. What a damn good franchise, what a damn good magic system and world. IT’S. SO. GOOD, GOD. Revisiting it all and reading the comics while I was sick was the single biggest joy that kept me going. I hope the magic lingers for as long as possible.

Even in my inactivity, I’ve received some really lovely comments on my AO3. I read the emails primarily. It really warms my hear to see them. I revisited old comments recently, too, and they’ve helped keep me going and reminded me that I am capable of putting joy into the world.

I’ve taken a liking to Youtube playlist-videos and Spotify playlists that encompass a very specific story scenario, like “dancing with the villain in a masquerade ball” or “driving around the French countryside”, etc. Japanese 80′s urban pop is SO GOOD.

Smosh has been putting out such great content y’all. I was BIG on old Youtube (Nigahiga, Smosh, Michelle Phan, Jenna Marbles, etc.) and it warms my heart to see their renaissance. Amazingly entertaining and down-to-earth content. I don’t fall squarely into their demographic anymore, but the periphery is still fun.

Food is great. I love food still. I’ve eaten a lot of good food during this break. It almost pains me to go back to living by myself and eating healthier. :’(

I didn’t realize how expensive moving was. But, after living in the same apartment from sophomore uni to post-uni work, I’m moving into a bigger “adult” apartment with appropriately sized appliances instead of the mini student kind. The possibility of treating myself to a king-sized mattress and decorations is also very exciting.

It warms my heart to see people in my vague social circles indulging in home art projects, like paint by numbers and “diamond” painting. As a kid I thought “not real art” was a waste, but by god as an adult do I not give a shit about what “real art” is anymore. If it’s fun, it’s fun. That’s that!

That’s all I can think about for now.

[grigori77]

2019 In TV - My Top 10 Shows

This past year may have sucked balls in a lot of ways, but we certainly never got short-changed when it came to our TV.  There was an absolute WEALTH of truly cracking TV around, both on regular networks and on the various on-demand platforms, and so here is my pick of the best, my absolute favourites of 2019.

10.  WATCHMEN

Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof brings us a blinding sequel to comic book legend Alan Moore’s legendary graphic novel with a delightfully trippy, ruthlessly efficient rug-puller that seems pretty tailor-made for HBO.  Old faces return in interesting ways, while there are some cracking new “masks” on offer, particularly Regina King’s Sister Night and the always-brilliant Tim Blake Nelson as morally complex antihero Looking Glass (in some ways very much the show’s own answer to Rorschach).  It never goes where you expect it to go, and refuses to give easy answers to the questions it raises, effortlessly paving the way for more next year ...

9.  THE BOYS

Amazon offers up its own edgy, thoroughly adult superhero property with this darkly funny antiheroic gem based on the cult Garth Ennis comic, expertly adapted by Supernatural creator Eric Kripke.  Karl Urban dominates as Billy Butcher, the foul-mouthed, morally bankrupt “leader” of a makeshift crew of mercenaries, hitmen and psycho killers devoted to “taking care of” superheroes when they inevitably go bad.  Season 1 ultimately serves as an origin story, showing how the team come together, laying quality groundwork for the incoming sophomore tour that promises to open the already fascinating world out significantly.

8.  PREACHER (SEASON 4)

More Garth Ennis, namely this blinder of a closing season for AMC’s consistently impressive adaptation of his best known series for Vertigo comics.  Surprisingly epic, deliciously subversive and constantly, darkly hilarious, this thoroughly non-PC series from showrunners Sam Catlin, Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (yes! I Know!) certainly went out on a high note, providing its loyal followers with perfectly-pitched bow-outs and sometimes heartbreaking goodbyes for all its players, especially its dynamite leads, Dominic Cooper, Ruth Negga and, in particular, Joe Gilgun as unapologetic bad boy vampire Cassidy.  A worthy end to one of my all-time favourite TV shows.

7.  THE WITCHER

While it’s clearly taken its look from the wildly successful video games, Netflix’s second most ambitious long-form offering of the year takes its lead from the fantasy book series by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski that started it all.  With its somewhat episodic set-up and decidedly twisted narrative timelines, it take a few chapters to get the hang of it, but there’s plenty to draw you in, from the exotic world-building to the frenetic action and compelling collection of richly crafted characters.  Henry Cavill is the titular hero, lovably grouchy mutant monster-hunter Geralt of Rivia, but the real scene-stealer is co-star Anya Chalotra as roguishly self-serving mage Yennefer of Vengenberg.

6.  CARNIVAL ROW

One of the year’s two big sleeper hit TV surprises for me was this inventively offbeat allegorical Amazon fantasy series from The 4400 creator René Echevarria and screenwriter Travis Beacham. Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevigne are the star-crossed lovers at the heart of this intriguingly dark and dirty murder mystery thriller set in Victorian London-esque city-state the Burgue, in which humans struggle to co-exist alongside a struggling disenfranchised underclass of fae (fairies, fawns, centaurs and the like).  The racial turmoil undertones are writ large throughout, but this is far more well-written and lavishly appointed than you might expect on first glance, and almost ridiculously addictive viewing.

5.  LOVE, DEATH + ROBOTS

My other big TV surprise was this wonderfully bizarre sci-fi anthology series of animated shorts from Netflix, mostly adapted from an eclectic selection of short stories from a wide range of top-notch literary talent including Peter F. Hamilton, John Scalzi, Marko Kloos and Alastair Reynolds (a particular favourite of mine).  As you’d expect from the brainchild of Deadpool director Tim Miller and producer David Fincher, this is edgy, leftfield stuff, frequently ultra-violent and decidedly adult, and the wildly varied nature of the material on offer makes for a decidedly uneven tone, but there are some absolute gems on offer here, my favourite being Suits, an enjoyably simple tale of salt-of-the-earth farmers on an alien world utilising clunky mech suits to protect their settlement from rampaging giant xeno-bugs.

4.  THE DARK CRYSTAL: AGE OF RESISTANCE

The show with the biggest cinematic wow factor in 2019 had to be this long-awaited prequel series to Jim Henson’s classic fantasy movie masterpiece, created for Netflix by, of all people, Louis Leterrier (yes, the director of The Transporter, Now You See Me and Clash of the Titans, if you can believe it). The technology may have evolved in leaps and bounds, but there’s a wonderfully old school vibe in the delightfully physical puppet effects used to bring the fantastical world of Thra and its denizens to life, so that it truly does feel like it’s based in the same world as the film.  This was EASILY the most visually arresting show of 2019, packed with exquisite character, creature and set design that perfectly complements the awesome work done by Henson and Brian Froud on the original, while the writers have created a darkly rich narrative tapestry that makes Thra seem a more dangerous place than ever.

3.  THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

I was a HUGE fan of My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way’s magnificently oddball alternative superhero comic, so when I learned that Netflix were adapting it I was a little wary because I knew how spectacularly hard it would be for ANY showrunners to get right.  Thankfully Steve Blackman (Fargo season 2) and Jeremy Slater (The Exorcist TV series) were the right choice, because this perfectly captured the outsider nature of the characters and their endearingly dysfunctional family dynamic. Ellen Page, Tom Hopper (Black Sails, Merlin), David Castañeda and Emmy Raver-Lampman are all excellent as the more “functional” Hargreeves siblings, but the show is roundly stolen by Misfits star Robert Sheehan and Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn’s Aidan Gallagher as nihilistic clairvoyant Klaus and the old-man-in-a-child’s-body sociopath known only as Number Five. Consistently surprising and brilliantly bonkers, this was definitely the year’s most wonderfully WEIRD show.

2.  STRANGER THINGS (SEASON 3)

Writer-director duo the Duffer Brothers’ ultra-nostalgic 80s-set coming-of-age sci-fi horror series remains the undisputed jewel in Netflix’s long-form crown with this consistently top-drawer third season expertly maintaining the blockbuster-level standards we’ve come to expect.  This year the cross-dimensional shenanigans have largely been jettisoned, replaced by a gleefully nasty through-line of icky body horror that would make major influences like David Cronenberg and Stuart Gordon proud, as perennial teenage bad boy Billy Hargrove (the fantastically menacing Dacre Montgomery) becomes the leader of an army of psychic slaves under the control of the Upside Down’s monstrous Mind Flayer.  The kids are all brilliant as always, Winona Ryder and David Harbour really get to build on their strong-yet-spiky chemistry, and the show is almost effortlessly stolen by Joe Keery as one-time golden boy Steve Harrington and series-newcomer Maya Hawke as his nerdy new foil Robin Buckley, who were very nearly the cutest couple on TV in 2019.  Another gold standard season for a true gold standard show.

1.  GOOD OMENS

Sadly, legendary author Terry Pratchett died before he could see the adaptation of one of his most beloved novels (and one of my all-time literary favourites too) see the light of day, but at least his co-author Neil Gaiman was around to bring it to fruition with the aid of seasoned TV director David Mckinnon (Jekyll, Doctor Who, Sherlock), and the end result sure did him proud, perfectly capturing the deeply satirical voice and winningly anarchic, gleefully offbeat and gently subversive humour of the original novel.  David Tennant and Michael Sheen could both have been born to play Crowley and Aziraphale, the angel and demon nominally charged with watching over the young Antichrist in preparation for his role in the End Times, even though they would both much rather the world just went on quite happily the way it is, thanks very much. This is about as perfect an adaptation as you can get, the six hour-long episodes giving the surprisingly complex story time to breathe and grow organically, and the result is the most fun I spent in front of my TV this year.

[daesungindistress]

Oh wow chickbang have gotten so big! Is anyone a troublemaker? What are their personalities like?

No one is really what I would call a troublemaker. Barring some minor squabbles here and there, just pecking order stuff, nothing serious, nothing dangerous, everyone is getting along nicely. Yay! I suppose the only one I would have considered a troublemaker at any point was GD, who I... um... don’t have anymore.

I’ll put this one behind a cut.

This was my last photo of him. GD went to a new home back in July. New home, new harem. Months of trying to manage the feather picking by the other chickens that contributed to his baldness was just not working out, plus it eventually reached a point where I could not handle the constant crowing. He crowed all day long, every hour of the day from sunup to sundown. Hearing voices would set him off -- my voice, neighbors’ voices, visitors’ voices, whatever. And in the final few weeks I had him, as he reached sexual maturity and was becoming protective of “his” flock, he took to crowing nonstop any time I was around, only settling down when I would leave them and go back inside the house.

Roosters crow to announce their presence and establish dominance. He probably saw me as competition. Maybe even a mild threat? He never attacked me, in fact he always seemed to fear me (lol), but he was really ruining my enjoyment of my own chickens. He was beautiful and interesting but the little dude had to go. And while it was hard to go through with it, to finally do it after months of thinking about it, once he was gone, to be honest, I found I didn’t really miss him 🤷‍♀️

...because the very next day after I rehomed him I got my first egg! And that began a whole new “chapter” of Chickbang’s story. Within the next week several more hens had begun laying, and by the end of the month, all seven. I suspect GD was causing them stress and slowing down their development because he matured earlier than they did and was mounting and trying to mate with them before they were ready. All in all, they seem happier and more at ease as an all-female flock, and they’re friendlier and more attentive toward me now than they were before, probably because I’ve replaced the rooster as head of the flock. I’m happy with my decision. I’m also happy I kept and raised him for as long as I did because I feel I learned a lot about the physical and behavioral characteristics of cockerels/young roosters and will be better able to identify them at an early age in the future.

As for everyone’s personalities... gonna turn to bullet points for this one.

Dae

Is now something of a lap chicken despite wanting nothing to do with me when young. All on her terms, of course.

Quacks like a duck.

Very noisy, has a big voice just like her namesake.

Her breed (Buff Orpington) tends to “go broody” (mothering instinct kicks in and she’ll want to sit on a clutch of eggs and hatch them), and in August she actually went what I call “half broody”, meaning she would spend hours on the nest and would puff up and screech at other hens when they came near, guarding “her” eggs, even though the eggs she was sitting on weren’t actually hers. She didn’t spend all day there, however, which meant she wasn’t fully broody. I got into the habit of retrieving eggs from underneath her, gently. Thankfully, she never pecked me, just made unhappy clucking noises at me for the egg thievery.

Doesn’t bully Gwisun anymore, or anyone for that matter, so that’s good!

Bae

Gets a little nutty when she needs to lay.

Runs back and forth between the nests (I now have two separate structures inside the run that contain nests for the chickens, just giving them options and trying to cut down on the crowding), is extremely indecisive and kicks up such a fuss until she finally, finally settles on a nest she deems suitable.

Wrecks the nest before laying an egg in it.

Talkative, but that’s nothing new.

The only hen who I’ve never actually seen lay an egg... what’s up with that?

Is still curious about everything but doesn’t peck me anymore so that’s good (she tore my eyelid once, thanks Bae).

Is regularly dominated by Gwisun, which is a fairly recent development. Gwisun was always bottom of the pecking order but one day decided to have it out for Bae. They started out leaping in the air and bumping chests, but it wasn’t long before Bae was submitting, squatting when Gwisun stood over her, and just plain running away when she pursued her. Gwisun still takes it upon herself to reminds Bae who’s boss from time to time, chasing her and occasionally even mounting her!

VIP

Big Momma (not actually a momma, just big... biggest of them all)

Doesn’t handle the heat well and was the first to learn that standing in pans of water helped cool her off! Smart girl.

Lays large eggs.

Is pretty chill overall, takes most things in stride, not easily bothered.

Doesn’t sit back down on her egg after laying it or otherwise hang out in the nests any longer than she needs to. Does her thing and leaves pretty quickly afterward, which is great! It means I can collect and go if I happen to be out there with them when she does the deed.

Tabi (on the left)

Head hen (I think)

Seems perpetually ill-tempered, the sounds she makes are IMO a little grumpy. Kinda whiny? IDK. I get the impression that half the time I'm with them she's giving me the stink eye.

Pecks at my hand when I try to pick up feed off the ground to give to her. As a warning? It's not especially painful.

Is very businesslike about her egg laying. Gets in, lays her egg quickly, gets out.

Rarely sings the “egg song” after laying. Is she not proud of her accomplishment?

Is extremely punctual and reliable when it comes to eggs. Lays at almost the same time every day, usually early. First in the nest, first out.

BB

Lay pretty blue-green eggs!

SHOUTS her egg song.

Is super sweet toward me. Funny, considering she was terrified of me when she was just a chick. She’ll hover nearby and stare at me quietly, and when I raise my hand, without fail, she squats submissively. Heck, all I have to do is look at her and she drops. So I pet her a lot. Why not? And she picks at my clothes gently, something hens are known to do to the feathers of roosters they like. I think she’s smitten with me lol

Is occasionally challenged by Gwisun but stands her ground.

CL

Also lays pretty blue-green eggs, but not as regularly as BB. I never really know when to expect eggs from her.

Tends to produce weak eggshells, might have a defective shell gland.

Sings the egg song often and quite loudly when other hens are laying, along with BB. Both my Easter Eggers like to flex their singing voices...

Aside from that, very aloof overall. Was friendlier as a baby but has become distant as an adult.

Not sure what else to say about her. She’s kind of... off in her own little world most of the time. She doesn’t interact much with me or the other hens.

Gwisun

Has changed the most!

Not the best picture, I know.

Egg song could be mistaken for a barking puppy, it's hilarious.

Is the best flyer in the flock. Has sailed clear over the fence a few times, meaning I had to chase her down and catch her. Since she started laying, however, has not attempted to escape again.

Surprisingly noisy... starts screeching 30 minutes to an hour before it’s time to let the chickens out in the yard each evening.

So much for Polish being a docile breed. Despite being a total pushover when she was younger, Gwisun is feisty these days. She still gets bossed around by some hens who are highest in the pecking order, such as Tabi and VIP, but she’s had enough of being bottom rung and seems to be working her way up.

Is my only white egg layer at the moment. Consistently lays 3 days on, 1 day off. We’ll see how long that lasts as the days shorten with winter’s approach.

[themoguls]

"What Inspires You?" by David Pailin Jr.

What is inspiration anyways? It feels like motivation, but not quite... it seems less defined by our circumstances. The feeling's so fleeting, but when we grasp it, it's exhilarating! There are plenty of things that move us emotionally and physically, but this is a bit more intense. It's our dreams, our goals, but somehow it's not that at all. It's like the bridge between us and our dreams. It's that momentary awareness of the talent it takes to get where we want to be and the realization that we possess it. Maybe everything is inspiration. But if that's true, why don't more people have it, where do we find it, and why is it so important? Those three questions will be the focus of this article as we look to ascertain some of the mystery that is inspiration.

The Uninspired

Admittedly, it's very hard to avoid being self-righteous when you speak about what inspires you, but what about when you aren't inspired by anything? In an effort to gather some perspective, I decided to ask several people what inspired them. Below are some quotes of individuals I interviewed (men and women).

"Contributing to the greater good of humanity and leaving the works a better place if I can help it :)"

"Being surrounded by people who are constantly on the move to better themselves professionally, physically, and personally. I'm competitive and like to measure myself against the best of others. They keep me in check."

"When people know and work towards accomplishing their 'purpose' is the biggest for me. There's something about someone deciding, 'ok, this is what I way to do with my life and then doing it. Nothing is more inspirational than that to me."

"My Family, my kids."

"In so many words, Fulfillment, the ability to look back and say it was done by me. Of course, the first thing that played in my head was "girls and bottles!" lmao. The hood in me is always trying to outshine the calm."

"All the people who did me wrong lol make them regret every screwing u over because all your writings and blog posts can get u closer to you dreams."

"What inspires me is being in a relationship where you are each other's BFF, #1 fan, and dream keepers. Also, what inspires me is making a difference with people and having them be empowered and inspired :-)"

"The most inspiring thing to me is the way the music I truly love...like Michael Jackson or something like that makes me feel...I want to make other people feel like that. Also, the fact that anything is possible... I want to be one of the people that is a testament to that… you know."

"Nothing inspires but myself."

"Idk anymore, man, my drive is gone"

I definitely agreed with some answers more than others, but the last two took made me physically shiver. At first, I had the audacity to think, "how can people feel this?", but thankfully I came to my senses and pondered over. I realized at some point everyone feels this way if they're honest with themselves (if not just keep living). When things are going wrong, and people are hurting, the things that normally inspire become frequent reminders of how far they have fallen. You don't have to be immersed in self-loathing to lose inspiration; sometimes, it's just as simple as giving up. There are times when pure exhaustion and routine sap all the inspiration out of us. Soon the refreshing feeling of creative juices just seems harder to draw out than usual, and sometimes it really is. Without proper grounding, these feelings can spiral out of control, and words similar to the quotes I mentioned above can leave our own mouths. 

In my research, I crossed Kurt Cobain's suicide note. In it, I saw a man who had completely loss his passion for what he once loved. He was so earnest that he felt like a fraud every time he took the stage because he was just going through motions with the audience. He explains that he tried everything to get that feeling back (including drugs & alcohol), but in the end, even his wife and daughter were not enough to draw from. His tragic case certainly isn't the first and sadly won't be the last. This lost inspiration for life isn't a remote as you think, as a staggering amount of American's (11%) rely on anti-depressants to function.

The Ingredients

Isn't it strange that the things that innately inspire us seem almost heavenly? Often times they are the best of man, but even then, it seems... superhuman. Dictionaries define it as a divine influence, but what does that translate to? At the Plutocrats Club, we believe three elements catalyze inspiration.

Lack of Knowledge. Put simply, you can't get inspired by something you know absolutely everything about. Even masters are constantly learning; as the craft itself continues to evolve, the more time they spend with it. Time and innovation make sure that all things progress. This progression fosters doubt, and doubt leads to curiosity, and determined curiosity leads to epiphanies.

Passion. Though you can have epiphanies about subjects that you aren't interested in, it's impossible to get inspiration from them. Here genuine interest is critical to finding inspiration. Inspiration resonates with our very spirit, and if there is no soul in what we are trying to draw inspiration from, we will find ourselves empty-handed.

Wonder. The feeling of admiration, awe, or marvel. Wonder is probably best exemplified when a child goes to Disney World for the first time. Unfortunately, as we get older, it takes more and more to make us wonder. Reality creeps upon us, and we start to lose the wide-eyed view of the world that we had in adolescence. As hard as it is, it's important for us to seek wonder. It encompasses doubt, passion and then adds surprise. Admittedly, it's also the hardest of the three to ascertain because there are few things that adults can categorize as truly wondrous; even fewer stay this way.

It's Importance

Sure we shared who doesn't have inspiration, what it takes to construct it, but why is it important? The truth is so that we can enjoy life. There are "Existors" all around us. You see them at home, at work, and on the subway. They speak only because their job requires it, they have a job only because they need food, they eat only because it's required to live. Just typing that, I felt the monotonous redundancy of that lifestyle weighing in on me. No joy or enjoyment is in anything they do, just basic, logical goal after basic, logical goal. What happens after all goals are achieved? Death? The goal of inspiration is to provoke creation. The creations of men and women at their best are truly emotional experiences. 

After watching your favorite movie, take a serious look at just how many people it took to make it become a reality. At one point, that was just one person's vision! As much as we try to restrain ourselves, we aren't robots. We are full of thoughts, emotions, and illogical mechanisms that need to be explored. Not just for the sake of exploration, but so that our fellow man can use them to the best of their abilities. So I'll ask, what inspires you?

Photography by Demetrius Baker

[ducktracy]

162. porky and gabby (1937)

release date: may 15th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: ub iwerks

starring: mel blanc (porky, gabby, truck driver)

a new name in the director’s guild for the first time in 9 months! feels longer, doesn’t it? ub iwerks, as in flip the frog creator and co-creator of mickey mouse iwerks, landed a very short term gig at warner bros. his warner bros gig was essentially a freelance gig as he floated around studios. he got some work to do, and leon schlesinger was able to meet his cartoon quota. he only directed 2 cartoons until one day he just up and left, leaving his unit to bob clampett. after jack king left the studio in 1936, iwerks came. bob clampett, who had been promised a position by schlesinger for quite some time, wasn’t too happy that this new guy was stepping in and taking a directorial position after HE had been promised a position for quite some time, so schlesinger appointed him to help iwerks out and to get that looney feel in the cartoons. clampett took chuck jones, bobe cannon, and manager ray katz with him. thus, when iwerks left, clampett inherited the unit. essentially, he, chuck, and bobe acted like co-directors on the iwerks films, refining them to give the films a more warner bros feel. clampett’s first entry, porky’s badtime story, was started by iwerks before he left the studio. this newly formed unit became known as the ray katz unit, separate from the leon schlesinger unit.

with a new director comes a new “star” (or not): gabby goat. gabby was warner bros’ response to donald duck. a temperamental, brash, angry sidekick to balance out the good-natured, happy go lucky, though slightly bland porky, whose personality was still up in the air. bob clampett credits cal howard for the creation of gabby, who would actually voice him in gabby’s final appearance, get rich quick porky. gabby himself only starred in three cartoons, never making it out of 1937. however, storyboards for clampett’s porky’s party (1938) DO show gabby (and petunia) starring alongside porky in the short. gabby really interests me as a character. he was so rude that his brash personality was considerably toned down by his last entry. he paved the way for daffy as a sidekick—in fact, clampett would remake porky‘s badtime story in 1944 with tick tock tuckered, daffy usurping gabby’s role in the cartoon. while gabby (and iwerks)’s stint was short, he was actually revived in the second season of wabbit/new looney tunes in 2018, voiced by bob bergen! he’s an interesting case who i like a lot, even though he doesn’t have much to show for himself.

the synopsis speaks for itself: porky and gabby are headed for a peaceful camping trip, but a variety of mishaps threaten any ounce of their enjoyment.

iris in with porky and gabby (literally) trucking their way through the rolling country side, their car brimming with camping essentials and more. a jolly motif of “gee, but you’re swell” scores quite a majority of the cartoon, and the opening scene is no exception. gabby doesn’t seem to share the same appreciation porky does for the outdoors, haughtily slumped over in his seat as porky asks “sure a swell day to go camping, isn’t it, gabby?” 

before gabby can respond, their jalopy hits a rock, which catapults all of their camping supplies up into the air. thankfully--because why else?--the supplies piles back up neatly in the trunk, recovering from the bump. that is, except for one. a frying pan smacks gabby right on the head and gives him a shiner, much to porky’s amusement. gabby, full of malice, growls “YEAH!” in porky’s face.

just then, the two get stuck behind a moving van. we hear excessive honking as their jalopy zigzags back and forth, attempting to squeeze past, but the van is too big for the small country road they’re on. gabby is the perpetrator behind the horn, doing a fleischer-esque shiver take in anger as he honks on the horn and hurls insults. “hey you! get that big crate off the road! move over, we ain’t got all day! what’s the matter with you, you deaf!? you can hear that, can’t ya!?” while gabby engages in his hotheaded rant, porky, behind the wheel, is able to pull up next to the van, where gabby now yells at the bewildered truck driver in person. “get over, ya big sheep!” 

as gabby threatens to “bounce one up [his] chin”, the truck driver pulls on a lever, attached to a hand shaped paddle. the paddle smacks gabby right in the face, causing him to spin around and dangle helplessly from the outstretched paddle as porky drives on ahead, clueless. reused from porky’s romance and from the radio show community sing, the truck driver tells gabby not to get excited. gabby retaliates in a flurry of sped up anger (the voice clip reused from porky’s romance) “EXCITED?? WHO’S EXCITED!? I’M NOT EXCITED!!!”

conveniently, the paddle dumps gabby right in a mud puddle, sparking another angry outburst, now spewing insults and mud alike. porky, still driving on his merry way, overhears gabby’s rampage and screeches to a halt, now driving in reverse. the animation in this scene and the next one is nice and rubbery, very elastic and stretchy. ub’s cartoons are hardly the most entertaining, but i do love how rubbery and tactile his animation is. a jolly underscore “gee, but you’re swell” triumphantly scores porky’s demise as he too is smacked by the passing paddle on the moving van. he’s then tossed out of the driver’s seat and splayed onto the hood of the car.

while gabby continues his muddy ranting and raving, the car conveniently runs right over gabby, halting just above him. porky looks around, befuddled, stuttering “hey, gabby! where are you?” mel’s deliveries as gabby are more than amusing as gabby growls back “where am i! where am i? now ain’t that a smart question! i’m under the car, you big fathead!” porky, unscathed by the remarks, climbs back into the driver’s seat and tells gabby he’ll pull up. he does so, running over gabby’s head in the process. more scathing remarks from gabby, with some particularly fluid and lovely animation as he jumps up and down in the mud puddle.

transition to the two back in their car, inching their way up a very steep incline. there’s some lovely synchronization between the animation and music as the car trucks its way up, the water in the engine spurting with each push up, all in time with the music. this collaboration is furthered as the score slows down, now as fatigued as the car trying to truck its way up. very clever indeed. just as they finally reach the top, the engine dies.

porky suggests pushing, much to gabby’s chagrin, making his distaste known by slamming the door as he begrudgingly exits the car. more rubbery animation as porky pulls at the bumper from the front, gabby pushing from the back, griping about how he wishes he’d stay home. “i don’t like camping, anyway!” porky manages to pull the bumper off the car entirely, just in time for gabby to get a running head start and ram into the back of the car, causing the car to topple over porky and barrel down the hill.

quite an interesting switch in angles as the duo run down the hill to catch the car, the decline turning into an incline once more, with the car slowing considerably and beginning its journey up the hill. now, porky and gabby run AWAY from the car, not towards it, as the car slides back down the hill, seeing as it can’t accelerate or decelerate on its own. predictable, yet fun to watch as porky and gabby engage in a game of cat and mouse with the car, the car ultimately barreling into them, sending the two twirling up into the air and landing neatly back in their respective seats. cartoon physics to the rescue!

a bit confusing as the car suddenly gains life again, trucking uphill, exhaust coming out of the pipe, but so be it. porky and gabby FINALLY reach their destination, the score now a rendition of “speaking of the weather” (which is the title of a frank tashlin merrie melody as well!) but, as we all know, this is only half the battle. porky triumphantly declares “well, here we are! i’ll put up the tent. you unload the car.” judging by the way porky moves and how gabby squints at him in contempt afterwards, i’d wage this as bob clampett’s animation. gabby retorts “yeah, i get all the hard work!” he struggles to untie the endless luggage piled up on the car. instead, he pulls the weight of the entire car on top of him, luggage spilling out on the ground as the car does a few barrel rolls, landing neatly right side up. gabby pokes his head out of the luggage pile, giving the audience an angry trademark Gabby Wink/Grimace. 

elsewhere, while porky’s setting up the tent, a pesky bee comes to assess the situation. i wonder if bees in cartoons are an ub iwerks thing, or just a coincidence--in porky’s badtime story, which was started by ub, there’s a scene where porky tries to swat a bee away with a pillow, hitting gabby in the process. this could have been a clampett gag, but it wasn’t included in the tick tock tuckered remake, so who’s to say. some more interesting rubbery animation combined with a shiver take as porky angrily attempts to swat the bee away, getting stung in the ass in the process. the tent collapses, pinning porky and the bee together under the same tarp. the animation is just lovely to watch as the bee swoops around in circles, the tarp leaving a trail behind. very rubbery and malleable.

gabby begrudgingly prepares the furniture when he hears porky. “gabby! gabby! get a sly fwatter--a-a--a fly swatter!” gabby mutters to himself, scouting out a fly swatter, when he hits gold. a shovel. three times as big and three times as effective! gabby’s gleeful, slightly twisted grin as he charges towards the tent wielding the shovel is priceless. he’s a little too eager to bash some sense into that bee. 

porky’s still being stung to pieces when gabby arrives. this is probably one of the funniest moments in an ub cartoon at WB, the timing is just too good: gabby hesitates, watching porky writhe around in agony under the tarp, before bashing porky’s head in. porky (rightfully) cries “OW!” and we hear silence. no movement. even better is when gabby carefully picks up the tarp and looks inside, making sure his pal is still breathing. instead, the pesky bee flies out from the tarp and stings gabby right on the nose.

more wonderfully fluid animation and speed lines as gabby now chases the bee with the shovel, cursing all along the way. ub’s flip the frog cartoons didn’t shy away from cursing (lots of “damn!”s), so i wonder if he ever thought about giving gabby a proper sailor mouth. seems likely. the bee lands on the exhaust pipe of their car, and when gabby hits the pipe with his trusty shovel, the force is enough to knock out the engine of the car, popping out of the grill.

more bob clampett animation as porky recovers, struggling to tie the tent’s rope to a stake in the ground. now, porky asks for a piece of rope, much to gabby’s chagrin. “rope... rope... i ain’t got any rope! guy���s always wantin’ something. why don’t he get his own rope? ah, here’s a piece!” sure enough, a spare piece of rope slithers out from the pile of junk by the car. treg brown’s use of a donkey braying as gabby pulls on the rope is a great touch. 

unfortunately, we see that the rope is attached to the outboard motor. gabby gives a hearty tug, and the rope is freed from the motor, which activates it. the motor flies into the air, threatening to guillotine anyone who comes in contact with the blades. gabby is knocked into a hole the motor dug into the ground, peering out of it for safety (in a very similar manner to porky poking his head out of a hole in porky’s last stand). speaking of porky, he dives into his tent for safety as the motor cuts the tarp away into pieces. 

the animation in this sequence is lovely, accented by carl stalling’s favorite “black coffee”. gabby resorts to shooting at the motor with a rifle. cartoon physics--the knockback from the rifle sends gabby flying, landing on a car horn, which catapults him forward. he shoots, he bounces, he shoots, he bounces, and so forth. one excessive shot sends him flying onto a spare mattress, the spring catapulting him into the air. gabby shoots himself down, but it’s no use. the spring gets caught on a tree branch. the motor threatens to graze gabby as he yells at porky for help (”i’m caught on a limb!”). rather, the motor runs into him, sending gabby twirling around the branch and hurtling towards the ground, the spring coming loose. it’s difficult to put into words, but it’s a lovely scene with some lovely animation. 

porky, who has now miraculously found some rope, fashions a lasso and corrals the motor. “i got it! i got it!” but, as always, there’s a catch. a loop ties around porky’s legs, the motor dragging porky along in the wild goose chase. gabby scales up between two, lanky trees for safety, the motor cutting the bottoms off and making makeshift stilts. more beautiful animation as gabby struggles to stay put. eventually, the rope attached to the motor ties the two trees together, the rope loosening from porky’s legs and sending both him and gabby toppling to the ground. 

befuddled, both investigate the eerie silence--no motor in sight. that is until the familiar sound of whirring grows louder from off screen. in a panic, the two bump into each other as they scramble to escape, both flopping to the ground just in tiem for the motor to rocket over their heads. 

all hopes of a camping trip are out the window as the two scramble into their car. the engine, which had been catapulted out the front, is now pulled inside as the two speed away, hoping to outrun the deathtrap. i LOVE the detail of porky paddling at the air as they drive away, as if his meager attempts to paddle would speed the car up even more from the motor that flies threateningly close behind them. 

meanwhile, they encounter an old friend: the moving van that gabby had harassed from before. once more does gabby berate the innocent driver (”HEY! MOVE OUTTA THE WAY, WE’RE COMIN’ THROUGH!”) as we get an interesting angle of the motor heading straight towards the audience. 

porky and gabby duck, ready to meet their demise when the motor crashes into their car, pushing the car forcefully into the moving van. a cloud of smoke as the crash ensues. the truck driver has a tire dangling from his next, much to gabby’s delight. gabby bursts into a fit of hysterical, bleating laughter, nudging a dazed porky so he can get a good look. the van driver pulls on his trusty lever, and the hand shaped paddle from before gives gabby a well deserved smack. iris out as both the van driver and even porky beam at gabby’s humiliation.

what an interesting cartoon, to say the least! there’s a lot of layers to it, while simultaneously, there aren’t at all. to put it bluntly, at surface level, this isn’t a very good cartoon. a few plotholes (like porky randomly finding a rope after he needed one, the car miraculously working again after it had died, etc--but these are mainly cases of cartoon logic, don’t take these too seriously. these are observations rather than critiques), and the plot itself is very bare-bones. this is moreso a series of mishaps rather than a cartoon with a concrete storyline.

yet, with that said, i still enjoy it. the animation is the best part of the cartoon. i’m a very detail oriented person, and not a big picture person, which serves me well and detrimentally at the same time. so, i absolutely love how fluid, bouncy, and fun the animation is in this cartoon. that’s certainly an incentive to watch it. carl stalling’s music score, as always, compliments the cartoon quite nicely. and furthermore, this cartoon has some historical significance to it. not very much, but it’s there: it’s gabby’s first cartoon. that serves as another incentive to watch--gabby isn’t too exciting of a character, but he’s so fascinating to me that i can’t help but like him. he’s like a hidden secret. porky’s first sidekick, unless you count beans, but porky was moreso beans’ sidekick rather than beans being porky’s sidekick. gabby’s pretty obscure, but someone from the simpsons was a big enough classic cartoon fan to know who he was--they make a reference to him as “disgruntled goat”. this could be a coincidence, sure, but i’m definitely thinking this is a reference, especially considering another episode referenced friz freleng’s pigs is pigs from earlier in 1937. 

in all, this isn’t a great cartoon, and you probably COULD go without watching it and be fine, but i say watch it. there’s some wonderful animation and it has some interesting history, such as ub iwerks’ first cartoon at WB and gabby’s first cartoon. check it out for yourself and see what you think!

link!

[tetsuwan-atom]

World Headcanon - MegaMetropolis

Theme

MegaMetropolis is a city unlike any other, especially to those who discover it for the first time. It is located in the universe 478-FCITY (On the United Government’s Ministry of Science’s ‘FasTrack’ Coordinate Register). It's actually a planet called Utopia, funnily enough, but the stories tend to purely focus on the biggest city, MegaMetropolis, so the world according to the United Government and it's inhabitants just gets called 'MegaMetropolis' for the time being, until further of the world has been explored.

The discovery of MegaMetroplis actually occurred in 1998, one of the very first universes looked at, at the start of the Field Operations Program. Very quickly did the discovery turn into quite the investigation, and the investigation quickly turned into the U.G. making a formal approach to the nation of the capital city, Staia. Unlike Terra Nova, the U.G. only approached one government so far, with investigations still continuing, albeit under different Operators. While the process had started in 2000, with much progress achieved, alliance negotiations are still ongoing, though far further along than of Terra Nova. Most people understand and know the existence of inter-dimensional travel, one reason being that they are easier to inform, thanks to the level of technology the city has.

Unlike Terra Nova too, Authrum has a lot to learn from MegaMetropolis. It is a city of the future, born from ambitious entrepreneurship and enterprise. Much of the work done in creating the city has been in private hands, with only a few Government departments keeping things in order. Flying cars, literal skyscrapers for miles and miles. It's hard to even see the sky unless you're standing in the right spot. The streets are populated with ads about all sorts of products. It has also become a home to a few interstellar species as well, the planet and the city now also becoming a case study for coexistence.

One could consider an aesthetic of it being, clearly, set in the future, but that the future was envisaged decades ago, say a 1970s/1980s future. A futuristic retro of sorts.

The Suburban Transport Authority does run trains through MegaMetropolis, but an emissions policy only allows railcars to be run one specific way. They utilise the trackage just fine, but if they are not overhead-electric or third rail EMUs, they must use MegaMetropolis' special power system while on such lines. Diesel railcars can utilise this system with a few conversions, as long as their engines remain idle in the process. Thanks to how things have progressed on the planet, vehicles and cars run on green-friendly fuels or methods. Emissions must be kept to an absolute minimum, even for freight consists. Steam locomotives, being of a heritage class and of more complicated design, are exempt from this.

As of current canon, the stories currently seen in the world focus on the immense city in itself. However, and Operator is posted in such a world and is investigating other countries/locations further.

It is of course connected to the Inter-Dimensional Network and is part of the Super Express route. Despite it's co-existence with people, cultures and species, it has been noted that incidents have occured in the past, with some tensions unresolved, in the city, in the planet, even beyond. Vibrant, but not considered to be completely at peace.

Notable Locations:

Railway Station: One of the most impressive railway stations ever seen, boasting several upon several platforms, taking people to other cities, countries.. soon even to other planets, as well as being part of the STA’s ‘Super Express’. The STA only uses a few specific platforms, each section dedicated to a specific route or organisation.

Hakanuchi Shopping Precinct: An immense shopping centre, spanning quite a stretch and boasting several floors. You really can get practically anything here, even some products from Authrum and, on occasion, Terra Nova. You think of it, it exists here. It also boasts one of the biggest food courts ever seen, cuisines from all over the planet, other planets, as well as familiar ‘Earth-like’ dishes from all cultures.

Game Central: The most popular arcade in all of MegaMetropolis, another building of immense proportions. Many a video game, even sporting game, is located here. There’s physical games like air hockey, hoop shooting, goal scoring, but plenty of the proper arcade games as well. There is even a section devoted to some of the real ‘retro’ stuff, though a few have been imported from Authrum. The centerpiece is the ‘Immersive Experience’, where video games can become so real, so life-like you’re actually ‘in’ the game itself, creating spectacular mechanics and deeply involved storylines. Recently limits have been instilled on the Immersive Experiences, so that people don’t end up ‘living’ in the game, wasting valuable time.. and worrying friends and family.

Junk Food Corner: Despite Hakanuchi’s vast food court, there is a literal part of the city dedicated to... fast food. No gourmet, cafe style restaurants here. It’s all grab-n-go, from all the big food chains. There’s even a map pointing you to where you need to go, but no matter what time of day.. or what day it is, you still always see people, looking at that map, wondering where to go eat. One also has to wonder, how did certain chains end up in a city like this? Who has been talking to who?

Crimson Avenue: A rumoured location of MegaMetropolis spoken about only in whispers. A place so secret, you have to visit in only through one specific, concealed entrance, passing through all manner of security, just to get inside. Even a giant city would house the illegal, a district beyond what most would call a ‘sleazy town’. Vices of all sorts can be found here. Drugs, alcohol, sex, you name it, it’s here. Mostly visited by the affluent, but some people are able to make it through with the right attitude and charms... oh and by handing over pretty sizable envelopes of cash.

FunZone: A virtual amusement park, partly envisaged by the Immersive Experience system. It keeps with the futuristic theme of the city, but encompasses so many rides and amusements, the freakiest of roller coasters, attractions, creating forces and G’s unlike any other. Foods and treats galore, as well as plenty of interactive attractions. One of the roller coasters however, is located just outside of the virtual entrance. It’s actually REAL roller coaster that goes up, down and around some of the buildings in the city at incredible heights. Only the bravest ever go on this rollercoaster suspended unlike anything one has ever seen. It is of course completely safe, well maintained from day one of operation. There are some other real attractions surrounding the virtual entrance, to give people a taste of what it’s like, visiting such a ‘world’ within a world.

InfoHub: Of course a world like MegaMetropolis would have such a massive library. Mostly it is an interactive library where one can find out about all sorts of information online, through an interactive experience, though too, it does have a section storing all kinds of books, some of which are rarer or more secretive to access. If there is anything you want to find out about (almost) anything, or about the world or universe in general, look no further than the InfoHub. It helps being a member of the Hub too.

Tranquility Gardens: Even in a utopian powerhouse like MegaMetropolis, you would find quite a park to find yourself at peace. (Similar to Madison Square Garden in New York). However, if you think you’re going to be a part of nature, think again. Nothing about the garden is real, nearly all of it is artificial, the grass, the trees, the soil and the flowers. Only the water is real and thankfully kept pure. You see animals in the park? They’re not real too, only robotic. They only serve to be part of the park’s experience. Some could say it’s a history lesson into the past, or that the city decided to give just a bit of nature for those who wanted it, even if, all the actual nature around the city had gone. At least it exists though, for the enjoyment of those who wish to be a part of it. Though, many do end up being turned off by the place, when they find out what they’re actually surrounded by...

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CANON:

Bowen Chuuno has known of the existence of MegaMetropolis since his first train ride into other universes at fifteen, as well as having been shown around many of the notable places by Leland Brighto. He does like coming back to the city every now and then, noting how incredible the atmosphere is. He likes going to the shopping centre, arcade, as well as FunZone on occasion. Mostly the railway station though. He does want to learn more about this world and how it got to where it is today, as well as finding out more about what such a universe itself could do, how it could be of benefit to others.