#Johnny suh fluff

[zeroseuniverse]

It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Word Count: 412 Summary: "There’s bravery in being soft. In letting yourself be seen, even when you’re not at your best." Pairing: Johnny x fem reader

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The rain pattered softly against the windows of the cozy café, its warmth offering a stark contrast to the chilly weather outside. She sat at her usual corner booth, hands wrapped around a steaming cup of tea, staring blankly at the notebook open before her.

Johnny slipped into the seat across from her, his towering presence as familiar as the scent of freshly brewed coffee that clung to him. His smile, wide and inviting, softened the edges of her stormy thoughts.

"You looked like you could use some company," he said, his voice low and soothing.

She glanced up at him, feeling the tension in her chest ease slightly. "I didn’t mean to worry you," she murmured, her fingers tracing absent patterns on the notebook’s pages.

Johnny leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. "You’ve been quiet lately. I know you’re strong, but sometimes... it’s okay not to be."

His words lingered in the air, touching a part of her she had kept locked away. Being vulnerable felt dangerous, like exposing a chink in her armor, but the concern in Johnny’s eyes reminded her that it wasn’t weakness—it was trust.

"I just…" she hesitated, her voice faltering. "It’s hard to let myself feel everything sometimes. It’s like... if I do, I might break."

Johnny reached across the table, his large hand gently covering hers. "Breaking doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. And letting yourself feel, even when it’s scary, takes courage."

The kindness in his touch and words made her throat tighten, a lump forming as tears threatened to spill. She looked down, blinking quickly, but Johnny tilted his head, catching her gaze.

"Hey," he said softly. "There’s bravery in being soft. In letting yourself be seen, even when you’re not at your best."

His words cracked something inside her, and the tears she’d been holding back finally fell. Johnny didn’t flinch or look uncomfortable. Instead, he squeezed her hand, grounding her as she let it out.

"I’ve got you," he whispered. "You don’t have to be strong all the time. You’ve got me for that too."

For the first time in weeks, the weight on her chest lifted, replaced by a warmth she couldn’t quite describe. Johnny had shown her that softness wasn’t something to fear—it was something to embrace.

And as the rain continued to fall, she realized that being brave didn’t always mean standing tall. Sometimes, it meant letting someone hold her when she couldn’t hold herself.

[sunshyni]

— my oh my. Johnny Suh

A leaked message stating the obvious about Johnny was enough for you to finally have him.

johnny x Reader | Fluff but suggestive 🤭 | w.c: 1k

— Oh my God, those jeans are killer — Jaehyun started, practically squirming on the couch in the living room of the frat house where he, Johnny, Doyoung, and a few other guys lived. It was crazy how magnetic your presence was; every eye in the room turned to you when you walked in, like it was automatic. — What's her deal, huh?

— Aww, are you like this ‘cause she turned you down? — Johnny asked, sipping a beer and watching you, not like a creep, just admiring. You really were stunning, not only in looks but in brains, too. You worked part-time at a luxury store at the airport and were always looking flawless, though Johnny figured you’d still look flawless even with messy hair.

— Go on, alright? Everyone knows she’s into you, lover boy — Jaehyun pouted, which made Johnny grin and pinch his cheek like he was a little kid; with that look, he actually did look like a baby.

— Don’t play the victim. You’ll have plenty of girls chasing you — he rolled his eyes, and Johnny gave him a couple of gentle pats on the shoulder, then walked over to you, touching your waist softly when he reached you, his hand brushing against your soft skin peeking out from your crop top. — Hey.

— Hey — you practically choked out. Johnny grinned, leaving you a bit speechless. Your natural hair and the low-rise jeans you wore made you look absolutely perfect, but the blush on your cheeks, even before you’d had a drink, gave you an angelic vibe Johnny found himself totally obsessed with.

— You were amazing in the seminar today — he had to say something. You knew that now everyone knew about your crush on him, thanks to that accidentally leaked message to the whole school. It wasn’t anything sexual, but it did make him sound like some Greek god, which Johnny found funny and cute, even if he was already confident in himself. It was the first time someone had complimented him like that.

— Ah, I had to take a shot just before it started so I wouldn’t stammer — you admitted, suddenly unsure of what to do with your hands. How close were two people supposed to be when they weren’t actually a thing? Because right now, you felt incredibly close to him and wanted to laugh nervously. — John… about those messages, I didn’t mean…

— Nuzzle your face in my chest? You can do that — you couldn’t help it and laughed, covering your face with your hands like a shy little girl. You’d vented to the wrong person, that was clear, or your messages wouldn’t have been leaked, but everyone agreed with your words, including Johnny himself. He held you, guiding you back until your back met the wall. — What else do you want to do that you didn’t describe in those messages?

— Should I say it? — you smiled playfully, and Johnny smiled back, hooking a finger through the belt loop of your jeans, pulling you closer. Maybe it was the drink, or maybe it was the green light you gave for him to touch you, but he pulled you a bit closer by the waistband and leaned down to kiss your neck, licking the skin, sucking, and lightly grazing his teeth.

A quiet sigh escaped your lips before you realized. You definitely loved flirting, touches, and making out; you’d never gone all the way, and you felt nervous about how skilled Johnny seemed to be with his mouth, his hands, his whole body, honestly.

— I’ve been wanting to get close to you for a while but always thought you were kinda untouchable — Johnny admitted against your skin, and you practically burst at his confession. You had a confident air, like you didn’t care about anyone’s opinion, but all you wanted was for Johnny to feel the same way.

— Maybe for other guys… but not for you — you said with a smile, and Johnny moved even closer, kissing your cheek, the corner of your lips, but never quite reaching where you wanted. He was teasing, and you knew it from the little smirk he’d flash between a firm squeeze and a soft press of his lips against your skin. — Oh, for heaven’s sake, John.

You grabbed his silver chain that peeked out from his shirt, pulled it free, and kissed him, hard, filled with want, like you were devouring each other against the wall near the frat house door. Johnny tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled back gently, letting you catch your breath, both of you breathing heavily.

— Come on — he said, taking your hand and leading you up the stairs. You followed, weaving past people with drinks in hand, bumping into a few on the way. Johnny opened his room door, which he likely shared with another guy, given the second bed on the right side.

It looked like a typical high school guy’s room, which was kind of cute. Johnny had a shelf full of comics, and his room had its own bathroom; on the doorframe, there was a pull-up bar you couldn’t help but admire, picturing the sight of a shirtless Johnny using it. You felt like a little girl, and maybe, with him, that’s exactly what you were.

— Astroboy? — you asked, playing with a little figurine on his shelf.

— It suits me, doesn’t it?

— Definitely, you’re a star.

You smiled, watching him sitting on the single bed, then followed, sitting across from him, kissing him slowly, your hands exploring his chest with calm. Somehow, Johnny got you to wrap your legs around his waist, and you had to kick off your shoes in the process, which made him chuckle against your lips. Johnny caressed your back as his mouth explored your neck, kissing your skin so delicately it felt like his lips were velvet.

— Johnny… — you began, and he immediately met your gaze. — Hold on, it’s all good. It’s just that… I’ve never…

— Never? — he knew exactly what you meant.

— Only once, almost… but I freaked out, and… — Johnny left a soft kiss on your forehead.

— It’s okay; we don’t have to do anything tonight.

— But I love making out — you said, pressing your bodies even closer, and Johnny grinned, thinking you were way too perfect to be real.

— Me too. So much.

@sunshyni. All rights reserved.

[injvns]

texts w plug johnny !

[suhnshinehaos]

‘ THROUGH THE YEARS ’ | j. suh

summary : you and johnny’s relationship told in your birthday posts over the years pairing : johnny suh x gn!reader genre/s : one-shot smau, non-idol au, pure fluff

*note : pics are not chronologically accurate + likes are a lil all over the place but let me have this i thought it would be cute and i reordered the pics after writing hahaha

from reese, with love <3

feel free to guess at which bday post they started being together hehe anyways, happy johnny day!! johnny was my bias when i first got into nct and he’s still my bias to this day! he is so dear to me, he deserves the world and i hope he had the best day.

thank you for reading, i’d love to know what you think! hope you’re doing well and taking care :)

[strrykais]

1-800-hot-n-fun [johnny suh]

when you find a phone out and about, wanting to return it to the owner, only for you to get stuck with a guy who wants to give you three wishes.

nct masterlist

permanent taglist: @thatsatricky1 @jungaji @totheseok @mystverse @goldenmellow @skysole

[bee-the-loser-recs]

✩✮✩ My Johnny One-shot Fic Recs ✩✮✩

★ Forget me too By @yutaholic 16k, exes to lovers au, fluff, angst, reader left without saying goodbye, smut, promise of returning one day, alcohol use, reuniting at a wedding

★ Make me move By @yutaholic 17k, Idol Johnny, past lover reader, hidden child, 13 years later, too scared to ask him to stay, fluff, angst, smut, baby daddy au, past pregnancy, secret child

★ Daddy issues By @yutaholic 19k, fake dating kind of, high society reader, biker Johnny, fucked up family dynamics, angst, smut, slight fluff, mentions of cigarettes & weed, reader self destructs a lot

★ Valentine By @jaelvr 500, college au, best friends to lovers, parties, tipsy reader, confessions, mutual feelings, fluff, rather cute

★ The Perfect Note: Act I & Act II By @tedeehbear 10.3k & 16.5k, college au, supernatural au, alpha Johnny, omega reader, soulmate connections, fluff, angst, smut, best friends Jungwoo & Jaehyun, drunk hook ups, scenting

★ A kiss & a dress shirt By @espresseo-cafe 4.4k, college au, valentines days, mutual friends to lovers, public asking out, fluff, reader gets their period while on a date, popular Johnny, cute dates

★ Foreign swaggers By @starillusion13 8k, Johnny | Jaehyun | Mark x reader, brother's best friend au, Taeyong is reader's brother, shared vacation, smut, fluff, polyamory, enemies to friends to lovers, drinking

★ Birthday surprise By @babbymochiiii 1.7k, non-specified au, established relationship, straight up smut, some fluff, romance, birthday surprises, romance

★ Favorite place By @lovesuhng 1.2k, college au, reader is stress over exams, best friends to lovers, fluff, Johnny looks after reader, going to the beach together, so cute

★ Dear Johnny By @suhnshinehaos SMAU, small one-shot, non-idol au, fluff, mentions to Taylor Swift

★ Seeking a friend for the end of the world By @suhnshinehaos SMAU, non-idol au, end of the world au, angst, slight fluff, reconnecting for the last few days, implied deaths

★ Quarantine Chronicles 1, part 2, part 3 By @domjaehyun 28.5k & 55.3k & 43k, Quarantine au, Jaemin | Jaehyun | Jungwoo | Johnny | Mark | (Jeno | Haechan in part 3 only) x reader, roommates (except Mark), friends with benefits situation, lots of tension & flirting, smut, slight fluff, crack, Jaehyun & Mark have actual feelings for reader

★ Oh, boy, it's you By @domjaehyun 30k, non-idol au, soulmates au, college au, grad students, fluff, mild angst, smut, struggling to accept the fact, flight risk reader

★ Oh my, oh my god 단 너뿐이야 By @lavendersuh 3.9k, college au, classmates/strangers to lovers, party setting, awkward reader approaches Johnny, suggestive comments, drunk reader, hitting it off

★ Comfort cuisine By @smileysuh 10.8k, chefs reader & Johnny, Johnny has a daughter, friends to lovers, towing the line for a while, Johnny has a deceased wife, fluff, slight angst

★ Ghostie By @smileysuh 15k, college au, frat NCT, Halloween parties & costumes, slightly creepy Johnny, anonymous calls, slight stalker subthemes, smut, slight fluff

★ Big Bear & Bee By @smileysuh 15.9k, hybrid au, bear Johnny, Johnny is an uncle, reader works at a honey shop, getting to know another, crushes, flirting, smut, fluff

★ Get lucky dress By @irregular-idol-imagines 500+, established relationship, fluff, suggestive, showing off a new dress to your boyfriend

★ Two tickets to paradise By @lattaeyongs 14.8k, best friends to lovers, past Kun x reader, reader is stood up at the altar by Kun, reader goes on their honeymoon with Johnny, fake dating, fluff, vacation

★ Under his desk By @starryhyuck 7.4k, CEO Johhny, assistant reader, Jaehyun is reader's brother, underground fighting ring, smut, slight fluff, cute, Johnny is a fighter, accidental reveals, worry about what others think

★ Slowly falling in love with Johnny By @viasdreams SMAU, co-workers to lovers, working at a subway shop together, mentions of co-worker Chenle, shift leader Johnny, developing feelings, fluff, cute

★ Happy Thanksgiving By @nctsplug02 Drabble, Idol Johnny, non-celebrity reader, Johnny is away on tour, slightly tipsy reader, talking over the phone, fluff, smut, phone sex

★ Sweet deception By @neowinestainedress 19.5k, Haechan|Yuta|Jaehyun|Jaemin|Johnny|Jeno x reader, halloween party, smut, monsterfucking, demon Haechan, fairy Jaemin, incusub Jeno, tentacle monster Yuta, ghost Jaehyun, shadow Johhny, smut, plot twist

★ Rock, paper, scissors By @neowinestainedress 11.7k, Johnny|Jaehyun|Jeno|Jaemin x reader, best friends au, smut, fivesome, sexual tension, teasing, childhood friends to lovers?, summer holiday

★ Can you handle it? By @neowinestainedress 12.4k, Johnny|Jaehyun|Jeno|Jaemin x reader, part 2 to rock, paper, scissors, smut, discussing kinks, sexual tension, dirty talk, best friends to possible lovers?

★ Lovesick Fool By @gyeomsweetgyeom 2.4k, college au-ish, coworkers au, calling each other work husband & wife, jealousy, Jaehyun is Johnny's roommate, pining, mutual crush

★ [5:58pm] By @gyeomsweetgyeom Drabble, established relationship, play on a your mom joke, except you're really at his mom's, reader has a good relationship with Johnny's parents, fluff, humour

★ [4:51pm] By @gyeomsweetgyeom Drabble, established relationship, CEO Johnny, somewhat secret relationship (not purposely), bets going on about when they would get together, fluff, humour

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ ฿Ⱡ₳₦₭ ₴₱₳₵Ɇ ♡

♡ Pairings: frat boy!jaehyun x chubby!fem!reader, frat boy!johnny x chubby!fem!reader

♡ Genre: college au/angst/fluff/smut

♡ Summary: Jaehyun has made it a habit of playing with your heart. One day he loves you, the next he hates you, with nothing in between. Growing tired of his games, you find your attention drifting somewhere else. Toward his roommate and frat brother Johnny to be exact.

[Part Two Here 🖤]

♡ Word Count: 2.1k-ish

♡ Warnings: fuckboy Jaehyun in his full villain era (for now), voyeurism, two couples having sex in the same room (not an orgy), technically unprotected sex by way of protection not being explicitly mentioned, a lil spanking, partying, kissing, mentions of drinking, casual/meaningless sex, sexual fantasies, everyone's a lil morally gray, heartbreak & that's all bbys.

♡ A/N: I had a bloodlust for something angsty and ya know this did a pretty good job at satisfying it. It also satisfied by craving for something sweet so I'll keep my fingers crossed it does both for y'all too. 🖤

It was exciting at first. Weekends at the frat house partying with Jaehyun. No rules. No limitations. Everything a girl could want just waiting to be given to her if she asked. And the sex? The sex was incredible. Jaehyun could be a real asshole sometimes but he always knew how to make you come so hard your ears were ringing. 

You knew from the start that it’d be delusional to think you were anything more to him than a pretty face and a dependable fuck. Jaehyun’s killer bone structure and gorgeous features make him what one might imagine a fairytale prince to be. All the girls on campus dream of being with him and he knows it. He loves it.

That man has an ego bigger than his cock which is unfortunately rather large. There’s so much of himself floating around in his head that there’s just no room for anyone else. Still he has his endearing moments, ones that make a girl feel special, and that’s what keeps you coming back when you begin to think better of tolerating his bullshit.

That’s why you’re here tonight, knees digging into his mattress, cheek pressed to his pillow, as he fucks you from behind. You feel it, the force of his hips snapping against your ass, his cock pulsing deep in your core. But it feels like nothing. It’s like getting a tooth pulled after the dentist has numbed you up real good. The force of the movement is there but the feeling’s gone.

A few feet away another bed creaks as a girl you’ve only met once or twice rides Jaehyun’s frat brother Johnny like one of those mechanical bulls. This isn’t abnormal. During these parties sex happens any time, anywhere, and that almost always includes being in the same room together. But you can’t help feeling like a pervert for stealing a few glances of the adjacent couple.

Jaehyun never formally introduced you to Johnny. Come to think of it, he's never formally introduced you to anyone. It was Johnny who introduced himself one night when you’d had a few too many drinks for your own good and ended up hunched over the toilet with Jaehyun nowhere to be found. 

Johnny sat with you for hours making sure you were hydrated and feeding you snacks until he was sure you were okay. You can’t for the life of you remember what was said. You can only recall that you felt comfortable and safe with him. It was enough to make you develop the tiniest crush that’s only been made worse by how sweet he’s been to you since.

Jaehyun slaps your ass, interrupting your train of thought. Almost simultaneously Johnny begins to caress the other girl’s hips. There’s so much tenderness in the way he touches her and you envy it. You wish Jaehyun could give you even a fraction of that. Just once. Pulling the girl in for a kiss, Johnny wraps his arms around her, holding her close to his chest. With her head nestled in the side of his neck, he cradles her gently as he lifts into her at a slow, rhythmic pace. 

You imagine that’s you, not being hammered into but actually feeling something, and magically the friction of Jaehyun’s cock rubbing your walls feels good. In fact, far better than it ever has before. You let out a moan, a whisper, “Aah, oh god.” Jaehyun takes notice of it, loving the way you clench too much not to hit that sweet spot again and again. He’s so distracted by the delicious jiggling of your body, his vision curtained by messy dark brown hair, that he can’t see that he isn’t the only one captivated by you.

But you notice. Johnny’s staring back at you now, his eyes glued to yours as he takes in all those pretty faces you make. This isn’t the first time he’s watched you either. He and Jaehyun were roommates long before you came into the picture. Johnny’s seen more than a few girls naked in Jaehyun’s bed but you’re the only one he’s cared to sneak a peek at. The crush you have on him is so mutual. How you never picked up on it he doesn’t know but it’s oh so obvious now.

The longing behind Johnny’s eyes is immense, luring you deeper into his gaze until he’s all you see. Setting your bodies on autopilot with your respective partners, you begin to quietly explore each other. Your minds indulge in every dirty thought you’ve had about each other. Thoughts you’d suppressed out of fear that you were doing something wrong. 

You find yourself getting wetter than you’ve been all night, walls dripping twice as much as they hug Jaehyun’s cock. “Damn, you feel so good, baby” Jaehyun praises, planting kisses down the middle of your back. He shifts to a position he knows will have you trembling and you let out the sexiest moan. So sexy it makes Johnny’s cock twitch inside of the other girl, heat washing over both of your bodies. 

“You’re so fucking cute” Johnny whispers in a way that seems to be for the girl in his arms but is meant for you and only you. His face lights up like the 4th of July at every broken moan or arch of your back. You can tell how badly he wishes the pussy warming his cock right now were yours and you get the filthiest rush out of that.

Before you know it the pressure inside you has reached its peak and your legs are shaking, knees threatening to give out from under you. A faint smile creeps across Johnny’s face and he mouths to you, “Come.” And you do, as if on command. Burying your face in the pillow, you bite down on the fluffy cotton and let it fill your cheeks. It’s a gag of sorts, a desperately needed one incase you should cry out the wrong name on accident.

You know in your heart that even by frat boy standards you’ve crossed a line. You’ve stumbled into territory there’s no coming back from. But when it feels this good it’s difficult to want to turn back anyway. 

“You’re overreacting. It’s not like you’re my girlfriend.” 

You know this to be true, Jaehyun isn’t your boyfriend, but it hurts all the same to wake up to him texting another girl. Your heart sank when you rolled over this morning, still in his arms, to find him making plans to meet up with her tonight.

It was so blatant, he didn’t even attempt to hide what he was doing, and maybe that’s what hurts most of all. You thought he cared enough about you to at least pretend he wasn’t playing the absolute fuck out of you. It’s clear now that you thought wrong. 

“You’re such an asshole, you know that?” you shout, gathering your things from the floor, the sheet from his bed still draped around your naked body. 

A fully dressed Jaehyun casually searches the dresser for his keys, the smile on his face so cocky you want to slap it off. “Right, I’m going to the gym. You know how to see yourself out right?” 

Picking up one of your heels, you channel all your strength into throwing it at his head. “I never wanna see you again!” 

Jaehyun opens the bedroom door in time to take cover behind it, the heel of your shoe leaving a dent where it would’ve hit him. “Ooh, feisty” he teases, cracking the door to throw you a wink, “Save some of that for next time, hmm?”

There’s so much you want to say but none of it will change anything. He walks away from you like it’s nothing and that’s precisely what you feel like. Nothing. Unable to hold back anymore, you burst into tears where you stand, gathering up some of the sheet to sob quietly into. You can’t recall the last time you cried like this. A chest tightening, nose dripping, lip quivering type of cry that makes you want to double over in pain. 

“Hey, come here” a voice whispers, the rasp of sleep still hanging over it.

You feel a tug on the back of the sheet and turn to see Johnny sitting up in bed, one hand rubbing his barely open eyes while the other clings to the sheet around you.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up” you apologize, too embarrassed to make eye contact, “I’ll just get my things and—”

“No, come here” he insists, pulling you closer to his bed, “Come lay with me.”

Something in you says to resist it—you shouldn’t be crawling into bed with Jaehyun’s roommate—but Johnny’s already taking you by the hand, guiding you down into the empty spot beside him. No words are spoken as he pulls the soft blanket over the two of you, tucking it at your side to keep you warm.

His head hits the pillow, heavy lids closing, as he pulls you into his chest. There’s tension at first, on your part only. A hesitance to allow yourself to fully relax into the gentle embrace you’ve been desperately pining for. But the longer he holds you, his palm massaging your lower back in soothing figure eights, the more you soften.

“You don’t deserve this, you know?” he finally says when your tears have subsided and your breathing has evened out enough for you to speak. There’s exhaustion in those words as he says them, giving the impression that this is something he’s wanted to ask you for a long time. 

“Is this gonna be a lecture?” you sniffle, nervously patting the tears from the dips between his muscles, “Because I really don’t need a lecture right now.” 

Johnny laughs, letting out a yawn, “Nah, it’s too early for a lecture. My brain’s not heated up yet.” 

“Not heated up yet? What does that even mean?” you giggle, leaning to look up at him, your nose scrunched in confusion. Johnny opens his eyes, staring back at you with those starry brown orbs, and you’re transported back to the way you felt last night. If you thought his gaze made you want to melt from afar, it’s reducing you to volcanic ash at this distance. 

“Well, it’s like, when you first wake up your brain’s cold. Your thoughts are all jumbled so you’ve gotta wait a little, let it heat up” Johnny explains, the tips of his sable hair kissing your face.  

“You’re, uh…” you stutter, searching for the perfect word, “Really…interesting? Yeah, you’re interesting, Johnny Suh.” 

The most genuine smile takes over that handsome face as he lets out a joyful squeak, sincerely flattered by your comment. “Yeah? Well, so are you. You’re really interesting and cool and cute. I did mean that last night. You are cute.”

You tuck your head, trying to hide a smile of your own, but Johnny caresses your cheek, bringing you right back where he wants you. “Why do you let him treat you like that?” he asks without the slightest bit of judgment. Your smile fades as you contemplate a question you aren’t even sure you know the answer to. You file through 1001 possibilities before coming to the raw, painful truth. 

“I was trying to prove something, I guess” you confess, feeling an odd sense of relief at admitting this to him and yourself. “I thought if I could obtain the unattainable it’d be proof that I was special.”

Johnny scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Jaehyun? Unattainable? I could fuck him if I complemented him enough.” 

“Thanks, that makes me feel so much better” you huff, beginning to regret that moment of vulnerability. 

“No, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean that he isn’t one of those people that can appreciate when they have something special.” 

You shrug in defeat, letting your fears tumble freely from your lips, “Yeah, I don’t know if any guy can at this point.”

“So you think we’re all the same?” he asks, tilting your head to let your lips brush his. His lips are like static, making the little hairs on your arm stand on end. Your heart’s running a marathon and the butterflies in your stomach are throwing fits. This can’t be happening. Only it is.

You swallow hard, inhaling the scent of the fresh morning air meddled with his cologne. “Well, I…I mean no one’s really shown me any different.” 

Johnny presses his lips to yours, lingering there for a moment to savor the warmth of your kiss. “Can you give it some time?” he whispers, fingers charting a course across the curve of your hip to take your hand into his. 

“It or you, Johnny?” you ask, silently begging him not to say a thing if it’s not something he means.

“Hmm,” he hums, bringing your hand up to gently kiss your inner wrist, your palm, your fingertips, “Me.” 

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[9:12 pm]

(a/n: I fear i'm very proud of this 😏🤏)

Johnny stared with a look of poorly concealed revulsion as his date stuffed an all too large chunk of steak past their lips. The juice dripped down their chin and Johnny could only stare as the droplet traveled further and further only to be wiped away with the back of their hand.

This was the dating scene now... a person who ate like they'd never been to a fancy restaurant despite the dating profile depicting fancy vacations and various flutes of champagne with the very expensive bottles in frame. Johnny should have known better, this was all his own damn fault.

He'd been expecting a good night too, some nice drinks and good conversation. That was the only reason he'd gotten an Uber to the restaurant, he didn't want to drink and drive later. But his plan certainly wasn't happening now.

While his date was busy asking the waiter for more champagne, his fingers and eyes were working on sending an SOS text to someone, anyone.

And that person was you... your brows furrowed as you read Johnny's barely legible text that asked you to call him and make up some crazy excuse to get him out of a predicament.

You bit you lip, mulling over your options. One part of you told you that he was fine and being dramatic. Wherever he was he could call someone else and ask for help. But wasn't this also something you agreed to? Hadn't you and Johnny broken up and agreed to stay friends? This is what friends did... right? You sighed tiredly, not even bothering to change out of your comfy, worn, lounge clothes as you hopped in your car and made your way to the address Johnny had sent you.

You rolled to a stop in front of a luxe restaurant. Behind the glass windows you saw only small tables, couples at every table with small candles lit between them. Johnny must have been here on a date... he had started moving on before you did and he had called you to get him out of this? You, his ex. You didn't even know he was dating again.

A sick feeling settled in your stomach as your fingers worked on their own, calling his number.

"Hello?" you heard his voice.

"There's been some freak accident and I need your help," You stated monotonously.

"Oh no! You're outside now? Shit! Ok, I'll be right out! Look, my best friend is outside because their apartment-" you heard Johnny explain before the line cut out.

The sick feeling traveled up and out. Your hands felt shaky and a knot formed in your throat as you saw Johnny run out of the restaurant, scanning his surroundings before his eyes settled on your car.

He walked over, pulled the door open and flashed you a grateful smile as he slid into the passenger seat, "hey, thanks for the help. I've never had to do anything like that before."

You nodded in response, pulling into traffic. You didn't say anything. Should you say anything? Is this just how things are going to be now? Johnny calls you to get him out of a date, to pick him up from a hook up's place, to get him condoms, to get someone plan B and you just do it? That's your new role as his ex and now friend?

"I think we need to reevaluate how we're going to go about our... new friendship," you start quietly.

"What do you mean?" Johnny asks.

"Johnny, we dated for 4 years. We broke up because for some reason I haven't yet been able to understand you wanted to see what else was out there. You can't call your ex to get you out of dates. Have some decorum, I'm still mourning the loss of the man I thought I was going to marry and you call me to get you out of a date? Have some sense of shame or something!" You exclaim passionately, frustrated with the situation, with him.

The car sits silently with heavy tension as you both sit in the aftermath of your exclamation. Johnny fiddles nervously with his fingers and you stare blankly at the brake lights of the car in front of you. Stand still traffic, of course it is.

"You agreed though didn't you? You agreed to be friends and I thought the break up was mutual..." Johnny replies sadly.

You can feel that knot in our throat again, this time it comes with pressure behind your eyes that you quickly blink away and clear. "Of course I did. I love you. How was I going to force you to stay in a relationship knowing that you didn't want me as much as I wanted you? Why would I force you to be unhappy? I would do anything to keep you in my life. Well, maybe not anything now." You state, not even looking at Johnny.

"I wasn't unhappy with you," Johnny replies, "we had unhappy moments, every couple does, but you didn't make me unhappy. When I said I wanted to see what else was out there, I was speaking out of anger. I didn't mean it. I didn't think we'd break up immediately after I said that. In fact, I wish I never said that. If I could go back and strangle past Johnny right now, I would."

"And yet you still decided to start dating again. Yeah, sure, I believe you," you scoff with a teary roll of your eyes.

"A date. I've been on one date because I got tired of sitting around my empty, depressing apartment, looking at my door and wondering when you were going to walk in. I stared at my phone for hours waiting for you to text or call for two months," Johnny began to ramble, "I was drunk. I was a drunk idiot when I created the profile and swiped on this person. It all happened in the same night that I set the date. I couldn't bail! How was I ever going to move on from the relationship that I stupidly ruined if I just wallowed in my depression?!"

You stared at Johnny with wide eyes, shocked at his outburst, shocked with everything he had just admitted. This time, as you began to cry into your hands, you were grateful for the traffic, grateful that you could focus on crying out the deep sadness you'd felt for months instead of driving the car. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you call or text? Why did you make me believe that you wanted someone else for all this time?" You asked weakly.

"Baby," Johnny started, reaching over and hugging you as best he could with the center console in the way. "I thought you would hate me. I thought we wouldn't stay friends like we promised. I couldn't stand the idea of not having you in my life in any way. I didn't want to lose you all over again. I didn't want you to hate me."

"Even when I thought I hated you, I didn't really hate you. I still love you," you confess while wiping away your tears with a tissue Johnny had handed you.

Johnny cupped your cheeks, gently rubbing away the streaks left behind by your tears, "I will always love you. Always, baby."

A car behind you honked and you jumped in surprise, finally moving the car down the streets again. Johnny's fingers are intertwined with yours as traffic eases up. You both know it's going to take some work to get things back to how they were, but what matters is that things will get back to how they were. And Johnny is going to make sure that this time around, you two will be together forever.

[tyongf-nct]

♡ dating johnny includes ♡

cute cafe dates where he just stares lovingly at you for an hour over a piece of cake

him not letting go of your hand ever so you end up stuck in a revolving door or something

forehead kisses!!!

his phone background being a picture of you asleep with your mouth wide open that he refuses to change

long facetimes to catch up when he's away for weeks at a time

[lovesuhng]

blah blah blah

established relationship, fluff

Dating Johnny meant knowing you’d go on all kinds of dates—sometimes doing some of your hobbies, other times his. Occasionally, you’d try new things together, willing to take risks, even if you’d sometimes end up asking yourselves, “Why did we even decide to do this?” But in the end, you’d always have fun regardless. You loved spending time together.

Today was one of those simple dates. Johnny had found a restaurant and was eager to take you there. It was a bit of an old-fashioned place but very cozy. You even teased Johnny, saying he was wearing that beret to "get into the spirit of the place." He made an exaggerated gesture with the beret as if to thank you for the “compliment,” and you just laughed, giving him a playful pat on the arm and calling him “silly” in a loving way, of course.

Since he’d already reviewed the menu and knew your tastes better than anyone, Johnny placed the orders as soon as you both sat down, making sure to also order wine, remembering that you had mentioned missing a good glass of wine a few days ago.

Wine was one of Johnny’s biggest interests. You knew this passion of his well; after all, he always said he only needed three things to stay alive: wine, coffee and you. It was fascinating that every time you went to a restaurant, Johnny would ask the waiter detailed questions about the wines on the menu, as he was doing now. He wanted to know about the age, acidity, sweetness level, alcohol percentage, origin and if that wasn’t enough, he’d even write down the name to look up more information later.

It was turning out to be a very pleasant evening. The food was delicious, the atmosphere was perfect and having your boyfriend by your side made everything feel complete. After eating, the two of you lingered, sipping wine and chatting about all kinds of things. You were on your third glass, while Johnny was halfway through his second, savoring it slowly since he was really enjoying it.

That’s when he started explaining a few things about wine tasting to you. He was so focused yet excited, sharing everything he knew with you, but all you could focus on was how much more attractive he looked talking about these things. You felt like you were living that “blah blah blah proper name, place name, backstory stuff” meme. Johnny noticed when you began smiling at him in that dreamy way.

“Are you even listening to me, love?”

“Johnny.”

“Hm?”

“Do you realize how attractive you look talking about wine?”

Johnny’s laugh echoed through the restaurant and you couldn’t help but smile too.

“Oh, really?” You just nodded, agreeing with him. Then, Johnny took your hand resting on the table, gently caressing it. “Well then, how about we go home, and I show you another way I’m attractive?”

Your eyes widened, and you quickly signaled for the waiter to bring the check, which got another laugh out of your boyfriend.

Your spontaneity was one of the things Johnny loved most about you, and it was in simple moments like these that he realized he had found the right person to share all the adventures with.

[cigsaftersuh]

can you do something with johnny? like friends to lovers or uni colleagues to lovers?

— caffeinated crush.

🐱 a johnny suh smau <3

୨ friends to lovers with johnny ୧

a/n ; my first request ↀ ᴥ ↀ i hope i met ur expectations bae

with love,

© cigsaftersuh

[keehomania]

JOHNNY SUH (서영호) — FRIENDS

(DRABBLE) ✧.* MINORS DNI (18+)

JOHNNY SUH was completely, utterly lost. he was lost in it, in you, in the sensation of you. he was lost in the way you milked him dry, giving him the perfect view of your tits bouncing in his face as you pressed your palms against the wall in front of you , leaning forward with your back arched as you met his pace with swift, harsh bounces with a cigarette in your mouth. he was lost in the way you moaned his name, begging him to go harder, faster before whispering sweet nothings into his ear to push him off the edge. “tearing my pussy open, fuck,” you purred, your breath hot against his ear as the tip of your tongue danced alongside his earlobe, voice muffled with the filter between your lips. “fuck me so good, gonna make me squirt all over this dick.”

he was absolutely lost in it, letting himself absorb the sheer filth of it all. he allowed himself those few minutes of escape, of temporary pleasure. his hands groped the flesh of your tits, squeezing the soft skin and probing at your sensitive nipples. his mind was a mess as his hands slid down your waist before stopping at your hips, cupping your ass. he leaned forward to take your tit into his mouth, letting the other one collide with his cheek as he sucked around your nipple. his hands spanked the soft of your ass, his thumb coming down to probe at your tight, sensitive asshole. he’d never fully push it in, he’d just keep it there long enough to hear you moan some more, to feel you clench around nothing but his fingernail.

“you’re so pretty,” the praise would always come through before johnny could stop himself, the words leaving a bitter aftertaste as they passed his lips. he hated himself for speaking his thoughts aloud, even if it wasn’t intentional. he hated himself even more when you didn’t respond, flashing him a mere smile in response. you were too lost in what he had to offer, your cunt clenching around his dick as you leaned forward to press your lips to his. you placed a single kiss to his lips, enough to give him a taste of the smoke. you pulled away to press the filter to his lips, watching with hungry eyes as he took a long drag.

it was his favorite part, kissing you. it felt more intimate than the sex itself. he didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, he’d always give in one way or another. his lips clashed with yours, melting against them as he cupped your cheek. he exhaled, blowing the smoke into your mouth as his tongue traced your bottom lip. you kissed him with desire, hunger, all the while he kissed you as if you were fragile, like you were on the verge of breaking. “your dick’s so fucking big, ’m close,” you whined, breaking the kiss to press your forehead against his.

he was just as close, thrusting upwards to match your speed. he practically felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as you tightened around his dick, your thighs slick with your juices and spread to give him the perfect view of your cunt swallowing him whole. you were greedy, but you were tempting, so he let you have him. he wanted more than what you were offering him, but he knew his chances were less than slim. he had broken up with his girlfriend and it left him heartbroken, in need of a distraction to fill the void. after a few bottles of beer and hours of consoling him, you had agreed to numb some of his pain, as friends. you had been fucking constantly, as friends. you were giving him everything he wanted, yet he wanted none of it. he had broken the first rule, and he wanted all of you. he hated himself for ever suggesting the entire ordeal, being friends with benefits. he didn’t want to be your friend, and he didn’t want these benefits anymore. he just wanted you.

“cum inside me,” you exhaled, your hair plastered to your forehead with sweat. you had never looked more tempting, riding his dick with a cigarette limp between your lips, tits shaking with every thrust he had to offer. “know you want to, johnny.” of course he wanted to, who wouldn’t? he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you in once more as his balls slapped against your ass, the angle allowing him to hit all the right spots.

he groaned in your ear, the sound of his raspy voice shooting straight through your core as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. you could practically feel him coming up your ribcage as he held you close, pounding into your pussy with all his might. the cigarette trembled between your fingers and, soon enough, you found yourself tossing it aside, your limbs too numb to hold onto anything but the weight of your lust. at first, you felt bad, knowing you were just using each other. you wanted to be more than his sanctuary, than his friend, but it was too late for that. you forced yourself to comply, and eventually, you let yourself enjoy it.

“i’m gonna—” johnny cut himself off with a grunt, his fingers wrapping around the flesh of your hips as he lifted himself once more, filling your pussy to the brim with a loud moan. he let go, his cock throbbing with your walls clenching around it as he came inside you, shooting thick ropes of sticky white into you. it felt too good, all of it. he loved how warm you were, how tight you felt, how he always felt like he was breaking you with nothing but the size of his cock.

you moaned at the feeling of his hot cum seeping into your cunt, the scent of smoke lingering in his mouth as you kissed him once more. then, you felt yourself fall apart. you came just as hard, your vision going blurry as you clenched around his softening cock, pussy tightening around it as it spasmed some more, as if to tell you that you had milked it dry once again. you fell apart as you leaned back onto your elbows, spreading your legs farther apart to give johnny one last peek. he saw it, the way his cock slipped out of you and pushed against your slit, oozing with cum he didn’t even know he had in him. he watched the way your cunt throbbed, some of his seed spilling out as you did so. his cock felt hot against your naked thigh, threatening to harden a second time.

the opportunity was cut short as you stood up, swinging you bare legs off the bed. “going so fast?” johnny didn’t mean for it to sound as desperate as it did, truly. he watched as you approached your desk, taking another cigarette from the box and pressing it to your lips. you looked too good to be true—your makeup was smeared with tears, your hair slick with sweat, your lips plump and swollen, every curve of your naked body mingling with the light that filtered through the curtains. you turned to face him with a smile, crossing your legs despite being on display for him once more.

“got a date scheduled,” your tone was casual, as if you were oblivious to the ache that flared up in his stomach as your words cut through the silence. you were, in fact, very oblivious. more smoked passed your lips as you flashed him a smile, tucking the filter back into your mouth as you slid your panties back on. “we can go again tonight if i come back.”

if you came back. it was almost like you wanted him to suffer, but you didn't. it was nobody’s fault but his own. the thought of another man having you in any way that came to mind made him sick to his stomach, but there was nothing he could do about it. you were just friends, after all. so, he forced himself to lean back, crossing his arms behind his head as he forced a smile. “i hope you have a great time,” he lied. everything about it was a lie, after all. you smiled, your gaze alive with light as you looked at him like he was all you had. he was. after all, he was your best friend.

✧.*

[sunshyni]

— my oh my. Johnny Suh

uma mensagem vazada falando o óbvio sobre Johnny foi o suficiente para você finalmente tê-lo.

johnny × reader | fluff porém sugestivo 🤭 | w.c: 1k

— Ai, meu Deus, aquele jeans é de matar — Jaehyun começou quase se contorcendo no sofá da sala da república onde ele, Johnny, Doyoung e mais alguns garotos moravam. Era incrível como sua presença era magnética, todos os olhares no ambiente se voltavam para você quando chegava, era automático. — Qual é a dela, hein?

— Ih, tá assim porque foi dispensado? — Johnny questionou, enquanto bebia uma long neck e te observava, sem parecer um tarado, apenas admirando. Você realmente era uma beldade, não só na beleza, mas também na inteligência. Trabalhava meio período numa loja de itens de luxo no aeroporto e estava sempre impecável, mas Johnny achava que você estaria impecável até descabelada.

— Vai logo, tá? Todo mundo já sabe que ela gosta de você, garanhão — Jaehyun disse com uma carinha emburrada, que fez Johnny sorrir e apertar uma de suas bochechas como se ele fosse uma criança; com aquela expressão, ele realmente parecia um bebê.

— Não se faz de coitado. Não vai faltar garota pra você — ele revirou os olhos, e Johnny deu dois tapinhas gentis no ombro dele e caminhou na sua direção, tocando sua cintura suavemente ao te alcançar, tocando sua pele macia que aparecia devido à blusinha curta. — Oi.

— Oi — foi quase um engasgo. Johnny sorriu, te deixando meio sem palavras. Seu cabelo ao natural, junto com a calça jeans de cintura baixa, te deixavam perfeita, sem dúvida, mas o rubor no seu rosto e o fato de que você nem tinha bebido ainda te davam um ar angelical que Johnny percebia estar obcecado.

— Você foi ótima no seminário hoje — ele precisava puxar assunto de alguma forma. Você sabia que agora todo mundo sabia do seu interesse especial por ele, tudo por causa de uma mensagem acidentalmente vazada pra toda a escola. Não dizia nada sexual, mas o colocava como se ele fosse a reencarnação de algum deus grego, algo que Johnny achava engraçado e fofo, mesmo ele já tendo confiança em si mesmo. Era a primeira vez que alguém o elogiava daquele jeito.

— Ah, tive que virar um shot minutos antes pra conseguir falar sem gaguejar — você admitiu, de repente sem saber onde colocar as mãos. Qual era a distância que duas pessoas precisavam manter quando não eram nada uma da outra? Porque, no momento, você se sentia incrivelmente próxima dele e queria rir descontroladamente de nervosismo. — John... Sobre aquelas mensagens, eu não quis...

— Aninhar seu rosto no meu peitoral? Você pode fazer isso — dessa vez você não conseguiu se aguentar e riu, escondendo o rosto com as mãos feito uma menininha. Tinha desabafado com a pessoa errada, isso era fato, senão suas mensagens não teriam vazado daquele jeito, mas todos concordavam com suas palavras, incluindo o próprio Johnny. Ele te segurou, fazendo você ceder os passos e encostar com as costas na parede. — O que mais você quer fazer que não descreveu nas mensagens?

— Será que eu posso dizer? — você sorriu brincalhona, e Johnny sorriu junto, enganchando um dos dedos no passador do cinto da sua calça jeans e te puxando mais perto. Talvez fosse pela bebida, talvez fosse pela sua bandeira verde de que ele poderia te tocar, mas ele te puxou um pouco mais perto pela calça jeans e se inclinou pra beijar seu pescoço, lambendo a região, chupando e roçando os dentes suavemente.

Um suspiro deixou seus lábios sem que você percebesse. Definitivamente, você amava flertes, toques e amassos; nunca tinha chegado na parte principal da coisa e se sentia nervosa com a experiência que Johnny parecia ter com a boca, com as mãos, com o corpo todo, pra falar a verdade.

— Fiquei um tempão querendo chegar em você, mas sempre te achei meio intocável — Johnny admitiu contra sua pele, e você quase soltou fogos com a confissão. Tinha um jeito confiante, de quem não liga pra opinião alheia, mas tudo que queria era que Johnny te retribuísse.

— Talvez para outros caras... Pra você, não — você disse com um sorriso, e Johnny se aproximou um pouco mais, beijando sua bochecha, o cantinho dos seus lábios, mas nunca chegando onde você queria. Ele te provocava, e você sabia disso pelo sorrisinho de canto que ele esboçava entre um aperto firme no seu corpo e um encostar de lábios na sua pele. — Ai, pelo amor de Deus, John.

Você o segurou pela correntinha prata que só vislumbrava no pescoço dele, a tirou de dentro da camiseta e o beijou, firme, carregada de desejo, como se estivessem se devorando contra a parede próxima à porta da república. Johnny enrolou seus dedos nos seus cabelos e afastou seus lábios gentilmente, fazendo você finalmente respirar, ofegante.

— Vem cá — ele disse, segurando sua mão e te guiando escada acima. Você o seguiu, passando pelas pessoas com copos nas mãos e esbarrando em algumas. Johnny abriu a porta do quarto dele, que deveria dividir com algum dos garotos, considerando a outra cama do lado direito.

Era um quarto típico de um garoto do ensino médio, o que era fofo. Johnny tinha uma estante repleta de HQs, e o quarto era uma suíte; na porta, havia uma barra fixa que você provavelmente admirou por um certo tempo, imaginando a visão de um Johnny sem camisa a usando. Sentia-se uma menininha, e talvez, diante dele, você realmente fosse isso.

— Astroboy? — você perguntou, brincando com um bonequinho na estante.

— É a minha cara, né?

— Realmente, você é um astro.

Você sorriu, observando-o sentado na cama de solteiro, fez o mesmo caminho que ele, sentando-se em frente a ele, e o beijou devagar, as mãos passeando pelo torso masculino com a mesma calma. De alguma forma, Johnny te fez entrelaçar as pernas ao redor do quadril dele, e você teve que ser ágil para tirar os tênis no processo, o que o fez rir contra sua boca. Johnny acariciou suas costas, enquanto sua língua explorava seu pescoço, e ele beijava sua pele com tanta delicadeza que parecia que seus lábios eram de veludo.

— Johnny... — você começou, e ele imediatamente encontrou seus olhos. — Calma, tá tudo bem. É que... Eu nunca...

— Nunca? — ele sabia exatamente.

— Só uma vez, quase... Mas eu me desesperei, e... — Johnny deixou um beijinho gentil na sua testa.

— Tá tudo bem, a gente não precisa fazer isso hoje.

— Mas eu gosto dos amassos — você disse, unindo os corpos ainda mais, e Johnny sorriu, te achando perfeita demais pra existir.

— Eu também. Pra caralho.

@sunshyni. Todos os direitos reservados.

[blondiedae]

dry house, wet clothes (two)

𓍯𓂃𓂃𓂃 dry house, wet clothes, two

pairing. johnny suh x afab!reader x jeong jaehyun

genre. angst, fluff, eventual smut, slow burn (for jaehyun), friends to lovers (for johnny)

warnings. swearing, mentions of drinking, kissing, groping, smut tags will be added when it applies. big miscommunication trope, it is what it is. it’s so much angst i’m so sorry

word count. 10,247

plot. the four of you have spent years building the world around you, your friendship, your weekends together hidden in jaehyun's loft. you, mark, johnny and jaehyun. shaking the foundation of that by being in love with your best friend, jaehyun, is a risk you've never been confident enough to take. but, johnny suh is confident and johnny suh has been known to shake the world around you.

other's mentioned. mark lee, dong sicheng (winwin), na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck (haechan), kim jungwoo

author's note. saying mark is just mentioned isn’t doing him justice, mark lee is just as much a part of this as the three main characters. here’s part two, enjoy!

taglist (open). @xiaojunsdino @yoursyuno

playlist. here !

Johnny was waiting for you under the marquee.

“Hey you.” His fingers wrapped around a single white rose, “For you.”

You took it, “You got me a flower?”

“A white rose.”

“I see that.”

He titled his head and pointed, “Do you know what it means?”

“The rose? No.”

Johnny told you, “Innocence and new love.”

“Love again, Johnny?” Pretending to wince, you turned from him and started towards the doors, “This is slowing down your two week time frame.”

You could hear him laugh, his feet padding against the concrete, and then Johnny was standing right next to you. He grabbed the door handle with one hand, ushering you in with the other, “Maybe. But, I have to establish that this is a date and not just us hanging out.”

You looked at him, only briefly, over your shoulder, “I know it’s a date.”

Johnny stepped into the line of people waiting for tickets, hand still on your back, “Do you?”

“Do you?”

He grinned, “Of course I know it’s a date. I’m the one who asked.”

“Not that.” The flower twirled between your fingers; innocence and new love. The weight of the knowledge that Johnny had much longer to process any changing feelings was heavy. Throughout the day, that weight only grew and settled on your shoulders like it was taunting you, dragging out your every move. It was fine enough to joke about it, but the reality of an actual date coupled with kisses you wished wouldn’t end and a single white rose made you pause. You looked up at him, that look that look that look he gave you was hypnotizing, dizzying, different but still nice. So, you clarified, “Do you love me?”

It was enough to make Johnny pause, too. It was enough to make him look away from you in thought. You wondered if it was enough to make him feel the same kind of weight that you did, but you guessed not when he shrugged, “I don’t know.”

For some reason, his answer didn’t settle like it should have. It didn’t bring you any sort of ease or comfort, it almost stung. He was so sure, as always, as promised. You weren’t sure you even wanted him to love you, because the question was still up for debate if you could love or even romantically like him.

The line shifted, you both followed, “Then let’s make a deal. We don’t mention the word love until one of us - either one of us - knows.”

Johnny agreed, “Okay. Deal.”

The line shifted once more, and again, and again until you two were at the counter. Johnny got the tickets, handing yours over and settling his hand on your shoulder, this time, to lead you towards snacks. After a moment of silence in the concession line, Johnny told you, “I could, though. I won’t mention it again, but I could.”

“You could what?”

“Love you.” He squeezed your arm, stepping up to the counter and leaving you behind him. You waited for him to order and pay, fiddling with the flower and staring after him. Johnny was back at your side, passing you a bag of popcorn and leading you away again before adding, “But, I promise I won’t bring it up anymore. We’re theater five, right?”

You nodded; an acknowledgement and a confirmation in one gesture. Johnny stole some of the popcorn, both of you weaving through the crowd, and that was that.

The movie was fine, better than the night before. You wanted to tell Jaehyun that Johnny could, in fact, pick decent movies. The thought, while Johnny’s fingers were laced through yours, made you still. The thought, while Johnny kept you close and led the way through the crowds of dispersing movie goers, made you shiver. The thought of Jaehyun while Johnny smiled down at you and rubbed gentle circles onto the back of your hands made you feel so incredibly guilty.

You begged your mind to stop, if only for the night. Begged your mind to take note of your feet, where they stood, and ground you there. You pleaded with the thoughts, asking them to slip into the shadows and respect where your body was; standing next to Johnny, holding the rose in between your hand and his, wandering through a park in comfortable silence.

“What’s on your mind?” Johnny bumped you with his shoulder, your steps were perfectly lined up; he was taking smaller strides to match you. It didn’t go unnoticed, “You're up in your head. I want to be selfish and remind you that you should be on Earth. With me.”

You looked at him, maybe in complete awe, because, “That’s exactly what I was thinking about.”

Johnny stopped and tapped your forehead, “Then get out of there.”

You laughed before nodding up at him, “Okay, I’m back.”

Johnny laughed, too, “Can I ask why you were stuck up there?”

“You want me to get stuck again?”

You couldn’t tell him. Of course, he did not and could not know that. Johnny shook his head, “Absolutely not.”

“It’s just…” You twisted your lips in thought, nose scrunching and eyes searching for an answer in the park benches, cobblestones, trees and wilting flowers around you, “It’s still a lot to take in, you know?”

“You keep saying that.” He was giving you that look again. You wondered how many identical looks, just like that, you’d missed in the last six months; wondered if noticing them would have changed anything, “Is it too much?”

“I don’t think so. It’s only been twenty-four hours.”

“So, time will help?”

“Time will help.” Johnny licked his lips, likely tasting the lingering movie theater butter. You followed the path of his tongue, maybe too focused on something you’d never considered before. Then, you asked him, “Have you always kissed like that?”

Johnny couldn’t stop himself from chuckling, head tilted towards the stars and his hand flat against his stomach, “As far as I know, yeah.”

“Damn. If only I had known that sooner.”

He raised an eyebrow, “How much sooner?”

“Hm.” You twirled the rose, now hanging loosely in your hand, alone, “Remember when you tried to kiss me under the mistletoe?”

“Which time?”

“The first time. At the winter dance.”

“That far back?” Johnny mimicked shock, leaning back and widening his eyes. He quickly shook his head, “I don’t think I was that good, back then. You had a pretty good reason not to, anyway.”

“Oh God. Don’t bring that up.”

“Don’t bring up what?” He was taunting you, he always did. Johnny started walking again, waiting for you to catch on and catch up, “Don’t bring up Sicheng?”

“I’m begging you.”

“Dong Sicheng.” He mulled over the name, his steps wide, but slow. Like he was walking to a beat only Johnny could hear, “That breakup was brutal. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry like that.”

You laughed a bit, though it was rooted in truth, “He broke my heart, Johnny.”

Johnny laughed too, “He extended his exchange program for as long as they’d let him. What was he supposed to do?”

“I don’t know. Not move back, I guess?”

“But if he hadn’t moved back, you probably wouldn’t be here with me, now.”

You shook your head, eyes scanning the ground and your feet and anything but Johnny, “Nah, I don’t think we’d still be together.”

From the moment Dong Sicheng walked into the room, you thought of nothing else. To say you were smitten wasn’t doing your unadulterated infatuation any justice; Sicheng had felt the same. It was a completely different feeling than you’d felt in your adult life, maybe a feeling you’d spent time chasing. It was different, even now, with Johnny. If the girl who had fallen in love with Sicheng was in your current position, she’d have no trouble devoting all her attention to Johnny.

It just wasn’t the case. Age, maturity, perspective or conflicting feelings - whatever it was - changes everything.

Johnny stopped again, breathing out a quiet, “Wow.”

“Wow?”

“In a world where Sicheng didn’t leave, you think you’d still be here? On a date with me?”

You smiled, but shrugged, “Probably.”

Johnny clicked his tongue, “Huh.”

“You’re very convincing. Really good at it, actually.” It suited Johnny to be that way; his encouragement had taken the four of you on a lot of adventures. Even so, even with Johnny pushing you to step out and step up and do something wild, he never did so in a way that felt uncomfortable or forced. You knew him, just as he knew you. All Johnny ever wanted was for people to feel comfortable and welcome, “Also…”

“Also?”

“I trust you.” The smile Johnny gave you when you said that conjured up a butterfly to find a home in the pit of your stomach, like you’d said the most wonderful thing imaginable to him. You faltered a bit, focusing back on the rose, “What?”

Johnny had found a comfortable position leaning against a tree. His arms were crossed over his chest and that same look stayed perfectly on his face, “I know….look, you and I never really speak so deeply. Not without a lot of jokes and not one on one, like this. But, I just want you to know how much that means to me.”

“What? That I trust you?”

He nodded, “Also that you’d pick me over Sicheng.”

“Oh my God.” Your eyes rolled back, amused but imitating annoyance, “I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.” He paused, “I’m serious, though. It really…means everything to me.”

“Can I ask you something? In the spirit of talking seriously?”

“Go ahead.”

You let out a held breath, calming the newly formed butterfly and seeking out courage, “If this doesn’t work out…if we try and it goes wrong or it just doesn’t go right, will we still be friends?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t hesitate. You didn’t expect him to, but it still rattled the butterfly into a frenzy, once more. A smile crept onto your lips, a sense of security you had been seeking for the last twenty-four hours or more. The worst thing that could result from this was losing Johnny; losing any of the three of them, really. Knowing he’d still be around eased your mind, a pinch.

“Good.”

He stepped towards you, “But, can we make another deal?”

“Mhm.”

“Try not to think about it ending before it’s even started, okay?” Johnny’s eyes looked directly into yours, unblinking and shining and warm, “Give me as much of a chance as you can. If you need me to pull back, just tell me. But, don’t think of the end just yet. Can we do that?”

You wanted to blink, the fall wind nipping at your eyes. There was a part of you that was afraid to; afraid to blink and miss this moment, maybe blink it away entirely. You kept staring, your smile growing wider as you nodded and scrunched your nose, “Deal. I can do that.”

Johnny waited a moment before he leaned closer, lips hovering over yours. He watched out, carefully and quietly, and asked in a whisper, “Pull back?”

You didn’t answer him, not vocally. Instead, you closed the distance between you and kissed his lips.

📻

It was the same every weekend. The four of you would find your way back to the loft, one by one, after a week of working and, for Mark, classes. You’d mingle and laugh and review the events of the week. You’d drink and dance and stay up well into the morning, like you were all still teenagers. Eventually, you’d melt into the same, familiar pile on the mattress; a mess of intertwined limbs, pillows and warm blankets. The stars would shine above you and you’d fall asleep, counting them and counting breaths and holding onto the moments of silence in your favorite place.

You were the first to arrive this week.

The loft was impossibly still, leaves slipped off tree branches and bounced across the panes of glass; scraping and sliding and slipping away to the ground. You lost track of time, sitting there with your hands in your lap, headphones whispering your favorite tune just for you, watching fall sweep away any traces of summer. Time always moved too fast, outside of the loft, it slipped away like the leaves. But, inside, wrapped in your favorite blanket, with your favorite people, in your favorite place, everything slowed down.

You felt nostalgic and eager all at once.

Every inch of the loft held a memory, but every night spent here built more and more on top of those memories, making it impossible not to cherish every minute.

Jaehyun came after you, startling only for a second seeing you in the middle of the floor. You smiled at him, he smiled back, but you didn’t move or take your headphones out. Jaehyun just joined you, leaning close enough that he could hear the music, too, and staring at the same leaves, the same gusts of wind, the same remarkable nothing you’d been looking at.

It was easy to be silent with Jaehyun. It had always been. The two of you had perfected communicating in glances, in pointed looks, in shrugs and in smiles. So, in those moments where you felt something would be, should be, could be said but you failed to find the right words, you’d look to Jaehyun. You would stay silent and he would know exactly what you meant in the way you blinked, the tilt of your head, the slump of your shoulders.

You’d do the same for him, always always always.

You’d always have your eyes on Jaehyun, in case he needed to say something without saying it. In the moments he needed to be heard while staying silent. In the moments Jaehyun needed to be read. The thought reminded you how hard it had been to read him, less than a week ago. The corner of his lips, so close to you now and perfectly in view, was taunting and daunting and upturned.

Jaehyun looked at you. You didn’t know when you’d stopped watching the leaves and turned your attention towards him, maybe when the woman in your ears crooned, softly, “And I said, I love this boy so much.” Maybe it was the way she repeated it, four times, and how you were almost certain Jaehyun could hear it.

But, even if he could hear it, even if he was listening, would he ever really hear what she was saying. Would he ever feel the moments when you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking in his. Would he ever feel the way your heart beat when he held you close and urged you to sleep, truly sleep. Would Jaehyun ever feel any of it? If he did, would Jaehyun feel the same. And, if he did, would Jaehyun ever do anything about it.

You blinked, slowly altering your expression before he caught on and it worried him, “How was work?”

He had tossed his jacket to the side when he came in and loosened his tie around his neck, three buttons as well. He looked intentionally disheveled and tired, but he always looked like this, come Friday afternoon.

Jaehyun only shrugged, pulling one of your earbuds out and putting it into his own ear, “It was fine. Did you finish your book?”

“No.” Your tongue threatened to spill the secrets of your week, the reason you were behind on work and hesitated to answer his calls, text him back, even think of Jaehyun. Johnny. You had to hold yourself back from telling Jaehyun I spent a fair amount of time making out with Johnny. Looking away from Jaehyun, down at where your hands flirted with the idea of touching, you sighed, “I was really distracted this week.”

Jaehyun almost asked why, but his stomach twisted into knots at the potential answer. Since Sunday, since you told him Johnny confessed, you two had never addressed the subject again. Things went back to normal and Jaehyun convinced himself that because you hadn’t asked for his input, it meant you’d come to a conclusion on your own. He hoped the conclusion was not to date Johnny and he hated that hope. Johnny was perfectly fine, Johnny knew you, Johnny would no doubt take care of you and Jaehyun had watched you date other men before. He had managed just fine, then.

This time felt exponentially different to him. To both of you.

Jaehyun didn’t want to believe what he knew to be true; he was jealous that, if you decided to date one of your friends, it wasn’t him.

He didn’t want the clarification, he didn’t want to know more unless he had to. So, Jaehyun wouldn’t ask. He’d stay silent and he’d behave as he normally would; he’d hold your hand and hold you close and Jaehyun would tell you everything he could without saying it outright. He wouldn’t ask. He wouldn’t ask a thing.

In stopping his question, his lips failed to block his statement. Something he couldn’t tell you with a look, a smile, a sigh. A simple observation, as he watched you, “You look really beautiful, right now.”

He meant it. The sun had formed a halo around your head as it slipped behind some clouds, closer and closer to setting. Your cream colored sweater hung loose on your body, Jaehyun guessed it fit like that because it wasn’t your sweater, to begin with. It could’ve been his, maybe Johnny’s, he was almost certain he’d seen Mark wearing that same sweater two weeks ago when the weather first shifted. Either way, it suited you; the color, the fit, the halo of light. You did look truly so beautiful to him.

So, he meant it. And he said it. And Jaehyun didn’t really try to take it back or hide it, because the way you smiled at him before looking away again was enough to stop his heart. It was enough to make you glow even more, if possible.

You smiled and opened your mouth to say something once, twice. The only thing that came out was a laugh, one that Jaehyun echoed.

“Hand.” Jaehyun turned his palm upwards, holding his hand out to you. You took it, you always took it, you would always take it, “Tell me about the book.”

You sighed, leaning to rest your head on his shoulder, “It’s so….boring.”

His body shook with another short laugh underneath you, and it was impossible for you to keep your own laugh at bay. Jaehyun asked, “What’s it about?”

“Not a clue.” You peeked at him, taking in what part of his face you could. The way his hair was pushed away from his face, covering the tips of his ears. He’d kept it long since the spring, it suited him, “I’m sixteen chapters in, out of forty-three, and I have no idea what is going on.”

“Who wrote it?”

“Mm, someone named Lee Donghyuck? His pen name is Lee Haechan.” You let out a short groan, focusing on your hands in his lap, “I feel bad, it’s his first book. He’s younger than Mark and it’s not that he’s a bad writer, I just….”

“You’ve been distracted.” Jaehyun repeated. He was right. He still didn’t know why he was right, you still didn’t want to tell him. So, you both stayed silent for a moment, “Clear your head this weekend. Start over on Monday.”

“And if that doesn’t work? My deadline is in two weeks.”

Jaehyun thought for a moment, wind shook the windows and the song playing for the two of you stopped, a different tune following immediately after, “Read it to me.”

“Read the book to you?” He only nodded, hand still firmly in yours, “You don’t have to do that, Jae.”

“I want to.”

“You’re really going to hate it.”

He shrugged his shoulders, a second time since he’d been home. Jaehyun looked down at you, with his recently unreadable expression, “Not if you’re reading it.”

It was so easy for him to make your heart stop and it was even worse that he didn’t have a clue that he did it. You sat upright, leaning away from him again and listening to your music too intently; the world outside of the loft, moving at the speed of light, suddenly seemed more interesting. Like you’d rather be standing in chaos, overwhelmed, than sitting so close to Jaehyun that he might hear your heart falter or stop all together.

“What are we going to do tonight?” You asked, picking at the blanket on your lap, “Did we have a plan today? I know Mark wanted to go to the park tomorrow. I guess there’s a busking thing he wants to go to.”

Jaehyun shrugged again, the third time, “I don’t think there’s a plan, but the fridge is empty from last weekend. So, someone is going to have to go on a grocery run.”

“I can do that.” Johnny said from the door. He had a backpack slung over his shoulder, still in his white shirt and black pants from work. He smiled at the two of you, dropping his pack on the floor next to Jaehyun’s discarded jacket and tucking his hands into his pockets, “Who wants to come with?”

Mark came up behind him, “I don’t want to go. I’ve been walking all day.”

The youngest flopped down on the mattress, spreading out as wide as he could. You had been smiling at Mark, half listening to Jaehyun tell Johnny he didn’t want to go but he’d pitch in. The album you’d been listening to had looped and reshuffled and repeated, playing the same song. When Jaehyun turned to you, to ask if you wanted to go with Johnny, you could hear her again, “And I said, I love this boy so much.”

Jaehyun heard it too, clearly this time and not muffled. If he visibly faltered, you missed it, but he could feel his heart flip in his chest at the way you looked at him, at the way his breath caught. His mind split in two; he let himself find a new hope that maybe that look was because you were thinking of him and choked down the thought that it could have been Johnny in your mind. Jaehyun couldn’t stop himself from wondering if you thought of him when you listened to these songs or if you thought of Johnny. The woman singing hadn’t even said the line a second time before Jaehyun composed himself, but that split second felt like a lifetime of the two of you looking at each other while she sang something only you two could hear.

Jaehyun cleared his throat and said to you, “You’ve been here the longest, you should go with Johnny.”

Christ, the last thing he wanted you to do was go with Johnny. Jaehyun somehow made himself say it, made himself calm and collected and remained grateful that his hair was covering his heated ears. You nodded, standing and adjusting your clothes, your hair, fidgeting to avoid thinking.

You circled around the thought that it seemed so easy for Jaehyun to encourage you to be near or with Johnny and that, maybe, he would never feel what you did.

Jaehyun pulled out his wallet, handing you his card, “You know the code.”

You mumbled, “Yeah.” Then put out your other hand for your earbud. Jaehyun stared at it for a moment before he remembered. She was singing, longing and breathy, “I want to get to you” when he pulled the bud from his ear and dropped it in your hand. You smiled and looked at Johnny, “Is it cold out?”

He shrugged and wiggled his hand in a noncommittal gesture to answer, “You want my jacket?”

Johnny had started to squat, reaching for his bag. Jaehyun stopped him, telling you casually, “Just take mine. It’s already out.”

So, you did. You slipped it on and held your breath as long as you could to avoid breathing him in. Mark was all but passed out on the mattress, Jaehyun had busied himself on his phone and Johnny was opening the door for you to step out onto the rooftop of Jaehyun’s childhood home. The two of you left, without a word. You changed the music playing in your ears, something more upbeat, and offered Johnny the other earbud. He took it, took in the music and took your hand, twirling you down the street. It was like the spin pulled you out of your head, the counteracting swirls of thought and movement clashing enough to pull you back to Earth.

That’s where Johnny wanted you, dancing down the street with him to a song you both knew. That’s where you should be, where you wanted to be. Still, you looked over your shoulder up at the loft. It was surrounded by clouds, a cool-toned sunset forming behind them. The loft was floating above the rest of the world, hovering over you and Johnny and the street you danced down. If Jaehyun was watching, you couldn’t see him and maybe that was for the best. Maybe it would allow you to be the version of you Johnny deserves; the one Sicheng got in the sense that Johnny suddenly had all your attention. Here. On Earth.

And the grip he had on your hand, loose but leading, helped pull you back down to the ground.

“Smart move.” Mark’s voice was muffled by the pillow he had smushed his face against, but Jaehyun heard him well enough, “Give them alone time.”

“Huh?” It was simple enough to play dumb, especially when Mark was barely awake and not looking, “I’m just too tired to walk to the store.”

Mark didn’t answer, already snoring as soon as he’d stopped speaking. Jaehyun waited until he knew you were a safe enough distance away to look down at the street. Johnny had your hand in his, swinging it wildly and pulling you in and out of spins, dips and lifts. Jaehyun felt like he was watching you from the clouds, watching you live a life separate from him. He’d always been right there with you, grounded on Earth at your side. Instead, he was floating above and watching.

He hated the feeling more than he could ever say. But, he urged himself away from the ledge of seething anger, uncontrollable jealousy, when he saw you turn around and look up at the loft. When Jaehyun saw you looking up towards the clouds, up towards him.

So long as you did that, you’d tug on his heart to hope.

📻

You weighed the options in your hand, the fluorescent lights of the corner store shining down on you and the two bottles of Soju in your hand. Johnny had wandered off to another aisle, some time ago, finishing up what you came here to do. You could hear the clank of glass bottles and his voice before you saw him at the end of the aisle, leaning against the shelf and smiling at you, “God, I really hate when people do this?”

You didn’t look up, “Do what?”

“When they don’t put things back where they go.” Johnny took five long strides to get to you. He sighed, as obnoxiously as you imagined he could manage and mostly to get your attention, “Like why is there a snack in the drink aisle?”

“What?” Finally you looked up. The expression on Johnny’s face was pride, if you had ever seen it. Still, you looked around the aisle expecting to see a wayward bag of chips or a misplaced candy bar. Johnny pointed directly at you, still as proud. You groaned with realization, putting one bottle back and stepping around him, “Please get away from me.”

Johnny laughed, the sound breaking the silence in the otherwise quiet convenience store, “That was clever. It took me the entire walk to and from the chip aisle to come up with that.”

“Do people still say that? Snack?”

“It was appropriate for the setting.”

He was following behind you, bottles tapping against each other in the basket, “I’m going to start keeping a tally of the corny things you say.”

“What’s the breaking point?” He asked, coming up beside you, “For the tally?”

“I don’t know yet.” You couldn’t help but laugh, tucking your shampoo into the basket and turning down another aisle to head towards the cashier. Johnny followed, once more, “Maybe ten.”

“Ten, huh?”

“Six?”

He paused, “Wait a minute. What do I lose if I get to ten?”

“Maybe six.”

“What do I lose?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know that yet, either.”

“So, it’s an empty threat?” Johnny leaned in, nose close to brushing yours, “That’s not gonna stop me.”

“It should.” You kept walking, greeting the cashier and waiting for Johnny to pile everything on the counter. He watched you pay, handing Jaehyun’s card over and politely thanking the cashier for what Johnny counted was the third time since you two had been in the store. He followed you out, nodding his head in a bow to the employee and carrying two of the three bags. You looked at him, over your shoulder, “Come on.”

He smiled, didn’t say anything for a while, but walked faster instead of trailing behind. He didn’t mind the view from either point, but Johnny did think it was important for him to note and for you to know, “You look beautiful.”

You didn’t hesitate to say, “Thank you.”

You didn’t shy away from Johnny or look down at your hand, the bag in it or the ground underneath it. You just accepted it as he wanted you to. Johnny thought you looked beautiful and it was as simple as that. He nudged your shoulder, “You look better in my jacket, but you still look good in Jae’s jacket and Mark’s sweater.”

“I thought this was your sweater?” Your eyebrow raised, lifting the fabric as though it would tell you the answer, “It’s Mark’s?”

Johnny didn’t answer, “Did you wear what you thought was my sweater because you knew you were seeing me?”

Immediately, your cheeks were burning and your mouth dropped open. The answer was not consciously, no. But, since Johnny had pointed it out, you felt only slightly shy. You tilted your head up, looking for a distraction in the stars and any breeze to cool your heated face. You could hear Johnny laugh, then heard him rustling his two bags just to your left before you felt his hand slip into yours. His lips were close to your ear when he said, “You look even more beautiful when you get flustered, like that.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded, “Yeah. And, before we get too close to the loft and go back to pretending this week didn’t happen…” He didn’t sound bitter, but his words still nipped at you. You wanted to not want to pretend, but finding your footing in this was hard enough. Adding an audience would make it harder, especially when Jaehyun would have a front row seat. You looked up at Johnny, all the same, hoping you knew what he was about to ask. He pulled you to a stop, looking down at you and smiling, “Can I please kiss you? It’s been three days.”

“Oh no. Are you feeling….” You bit back a quiet laugh at your own joke, “peckish?”

To say Johnny looked offended, to say he looked shocked, wouldn’t do his expression any justice. He dropped your hand to hold his heart, “Do I need to start keeping a tally, too?”

“For what? You said I’m a snack, you want to kiss me.” You scrunched your nose, too clever for your own good, “So, obviously you’re feeling peckish.”

“You get to be corny but I can’t?”

Once more, your shoulders lifted in a shrug, “If you did it in moderation, maybe.”

“I’m going to kiss you, now.”

“Okay. Peck away.”

Johnny’s lips on yours was the furthest thing from a peck. It took your breath away immediately, eliminated any wit or snark or simple thought from your mind until all you could do was move your lips against his. You wondered if you had forgotten, in the last three days, what it was like to kiss Johnny. If maybe restraint had wiped your memory of it clean. But, this felt so different from what you remembered. Johnny kissed you like he might never get to again, like you were slipping away from him, like he was going to stop and you’d be gone. You’d never be able to know why, but it felt too good to dwell on the thoughts that might unravel the truth.

Johnny’s hands fiddled with the bag in yours until he’d taken all three of them in one of his hands. He broke away from you only to place them gently on the ground, enough time for you to stand breathless but never to catch your breath. He pulled you closer, flush against him and tucked away in the limbo between street lamps. His hands held your waist, slowly inching down and down and down until he stopped to ask you, “Pull back?”

You shook your head, but you both had your eyes closed. So, you breathed out, “No.” The sound caught in your throat, barely making it past your kiss-swollen lips.

Johnny’s hands fell to cup your ass, bringing you even closer if it was possible and pulling a moan out of your lips. You could feel him smirk, feel that prideful look creep back onto his face. The only sound was his breathing, your breathing, the rustle of the bags in the wind and the wet sound of your lips and your tongues together, together, together.

“Johnny.” His name on your lips sent him spiraling; sweeter than any treat he’d been given, any candy, cake or chocolate Johnny had tasted in his life paled in comparison to that sound. He groped at you, another moan that sounded almost as sweet, “Fuck.”

“Are you okay?” He was panting, kisses slowing but never stopping, his eyes still closed, “Do you want me to stop?”

Your instinct was to say no, maybe pull him down the alley that would lead to your house instead of the loft. Johnny, in his truest form, was urging you to be reckless and wild and out of any comfort zone you’d been in. But, you pulled back and told him, “We’ve been gone too long.”

He still didn’t open his eyes, forehead against yours while he caught his breath, “Give me a second.”

“Okay.” You held into him, giving him support to gather himself while he did the same to you. You kissed his cheek, his jaw, his neck, tugging on his hair while your mind screamed for you to stop. To pause. To slow down. Your body took longer to listen, Johnny’s as well, “We should go.”

His breathing had evened out, Johnny pulled away. If you looked anything like he did, you’d give yourselves always as soon as you stepped foot into the loft. You adjusted Johnny’s collar, he fixed your hair. You smoothed down his hair, he wiped away the smudged mascara on your cheeks. Johnny turned and picked up all three bags, offering you his hand. You held it only until you reached Jaehyun’s street, offering him your earbud once more but opting for walking instead of dancing.

You both broke away, him spinning you out and dropping your hand, as you rounded the corner and came into view. It didn’t stop the glances between the two of you. Your heart fluttered with the secret of his lips on yours, his hands on you, the sound of his whimpers and moans. If you had ever told yourself you’d been in the position with Johnny, at any point in your life, it would have been almost impossible to believe.

But, looking at him looking at you, feeling the heat rush back to your cheeks at your most recent memory of Johnny’s lips on yours, you might have started believing in impossible things.

It felt nice.

📻

The sun took time to come up; unfolding itself from lingering and new clouds, rolling itself over the tops of buildings and filling the loft - inch by inch - with light. You watched the particles of dust dancing in the sunbeams for a while, softly twirling Mark’s hair. The strands coiled around your fingertips, having curled and twisted more as he slept. Johnny’s chest rose and fell underneath your head, somehow you had shifted further down in the night. You could hear his heart beating, even and soft.

Jaehyun was to your left, as he always was, hand in yours and snoring softly. His head was turned towards you, lips almost pressed against your exposed shoulder - Mark’s sweater was too hot to sleep in. You could feel Jaehyun’s breath, the moment it shifted from steady to short, waking breaths. He blinked a few times, taking in the morning, taking in you. Just as he had the week before, exactly a week ago. Jaehyun squeezed your hand and smiled, “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, you wanted to scoot closer. You wanted a reason to be closer to Jaehyun. You didn’t dare move too much, didn’t dare wake up Johnny and Mark, “My head hurts.”

He reminded you, “We drank too much.”

You recalled bottles falling to the floor, not shattering but landing with percussive taps on the wood. Friday nights to Saturday mornings were always the hardest transition. You pulled your hand from Mark’s hair to cover your eyes, shielding them from the sun coming in. Behind your palm, the memories of music, of laughing, of dancing played. The four of you were scrambling to match your movements to each other so whatever you were doing, chaos disguised as dancing, seemed choreographed. It came in flashes; some quick and clear, some blurred and warped.

“Who fell asleep first?”

Jaehyun looked up, through his mussed hair and over the top of his pillow. He nodded towards your own pillow, “Johnny did.”

You said, “He has to make breakfast, then.”

“I’m not making breakfast.”

“You’re awake?”

Johnny grumbled, “You talk too loud.”

“We were whispering.”

He tapped the top of your head, urging you to lift it. Johnny stretched up and out, his arm landing between your head and Jaehyun’s for a moment. He rolled away from the pile, coming to sit up on his knees, “Mark technically fell asleep first.”

“He was napping. It doesn’t count.” You turned your head as much as you could to look at Johnny. He was watching you with a sleepy smile, hands pushing back his hair. Next to you, Jaehyun closed his eyes, fingers tapping against the back of your hand. You smiled back at Johnny, “Wake him up to help.”

“You’re not going to help?” It wasn’t a pout, but it came close. Johnny yawned, head falling back, “Fine. Mark, wake up.”

From his place, nuzzled against your stomach, Mark grumbled, “No.”

“We have to make breakfast.”

“No. You have to make breakfast.” He settled himself in more, reaching up for your hand to place it back in his hair, “You fell asleep first.”

Five minutes of bickering and bribing before Mark pulled himself up and away from the mattress. You and Jaehyun stayed, hands still together. It took a moment for the morning to sink in, the quiet of it without your music and without any other noise than your breathing. You’d spent more time being conscious in the daylight, today, than the three of them had, but Saturday was still just as fresh to you. The sun, having rested from the week, was refreshed and kissed your skin in a way it only did on the weekend. The air felt different, the silence felt different.

Maybe it was the way your head was pounding, maybe it was the way you needed to ground yourself again. Maybe the alcohol from the night before had yet to wear off. Either way, whatever reason, you rolled onto your side to face Jaehyun. When he looked back towards you, turning his attention away from the sky and focusing on your body next to his, you pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes.

Jaehyun smiled, his dimples diving into his cheeks, his nose creasing at the bridge. If you had seen it, you might have melted. He took you in, really took you in; your chest rising and falling, the small smile tugging at your lips, how your hair had come loose from its hold in the night. You’d been restless in your sleep again. Jaehyun kept pulling you back down and towards him in the moments you shifted or squirmed.

It always seemed like the natural thing to do, the natural progression of things in your relationship. The shared birthday parties that lead to sleepovers that lead to tracing constellations on your skin that lead to silent conversations that lead to an understanding of each other that was impossible to breach. It was natural.

Without much thought, without a word, Jaehyun pulled back to press a kiss on your forehead. He was quick to put his forehead back against yours, back where you decided it needed to be on a fall, Saturday morning, “Bad dream?”

You didn’t answer, you didn’t need to and your tongue was tied in your mouth, so you didn’t think you could. Instead you held your breath and shook your head, slowly. Jaehyun lifted his other hand, smoothing down your hair before resting it on your arm. After a moment of soft circles on your skin, he scooted himself closer to you. You moved, too, closing the space. The natural progression of things.

“I’m so hungry.”

He secured you in his arms, “They’re probably destroying the kitchen.”

“I don’t want to help.”

Jaehyun breathed out, “Me either.”

You could hear the soft hum of music from two floors down, the clattering of pots and pans and Johnny instructing Mark on what to do. Only fifteen minutes had passed when it was all interrupted by the sound of smoke alarms blaring. You opened your eyes, finally. Jaehyun blinked at you, you blinked back. Both of you sighed, pushing yourselves up and pulling apart. It was decided, in two blinks, that the two of you didn’t have a choice but to help. A silent conversation, a natural progression. So, you stood and Jaehyun handed you his sweatshirt he’d changed into, last night, to keep you warm from the loft to the kitchen.

Johnny saw you first, a smile on his face as he popped a grape into his mouth, “Mark burnt the pancakes.”

“Of course he did.” Jaehyun laughed but was quick to help Mark. The youngest was pushing something around in a pan, brow furrowed in a mix of concentration and confusion, “Go mix more batter.”

Mark backed away, “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Mark.” You told him. He knew, of course. Mark adjusted his glasses, taking a spot next to Johnny and reaching for the whisk. You put your hands on Mark’s waist, stepping around him, “Look out.”

Pushing open the window over the sink, you ushered the smoke filled air outside and hoped it would quiet the alarms. It didn’t. So, grabbing a kitchen towel, you went down the hall to the detector, stood on your tiptoes and fanned the air around it.

“Here.” Johnny’s voice was directly in your ear. You could smell the oranges he had been cutting, the scent breaking through that of burning batter and smoke. His hands held onto your hips and Johnny lifted you up, slightly, so you were closer to the ceiling, “I’ve got you.”

The beeping stopped, he lowered you down, “Thanks.”

He told you, “Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

Johnny kept his hands firmly on your hips, asking, “Do you have your phone on you?”

You nodded, “Yeah, why?”

He didn’t answer, but took the kitchen towel from you and took a step down the short hallway, still looking at you, “Do you like this song?”

Since you had been downstairs, the music had been too soft under the shrieking alarm, the clatter of pans and spoons and bowls, Jaehyun instructing Mark from a distance. The sounds had all mixed together until one by one they were eliminated. Now, it was just the music, twisting around the corner and coming down the hall from where Johnny’s speaker sat on the counter. He watched you, taking in the song for the first time. After a moment, you nodded your head.

“It’s nice.” You decided, “Why?”

Johnny didn’t say anything after that, he only nodded back and turned completely to walk the rest of the way into the kitchen. You could see him stick his hand in his pocket, pull out his phone, tap something on it and then put it back. And you probably should have predicted it, but you still jumped a bit when your own phone went off in the pocket of Jaehyun’s sweatshirt. Your eyes rolled back, taking it out and taking a few steps, “Johnny, what the fuck? Just tell me…”

You stopped yourself, only in his line of sight for the time being. The message on your phone made your heart skip in the way his smile had been, the way his kisses did; that secretive tingle that rustled butterfly wings to flight in your stomach. Johnny watched you, every second you stared at your phone - only a few, but long enough. You faltered between a smile and neutrality, tapping on the link; a playlist of about thirty songs, the title of it was simply your name.

Finally, you looked up at Johnny. He chomped on another grape, but quickly and silently mouthed, “You’re blushing again.”

📻

“If her sister was bright, shining and vibrant, then she was the sun - so intensely beaming, that nothing could rival her.” You turned the page with a sigh, “He would always dare to look directly at her; happy to go blind if it meant he could be so close.”

Jaehyun had his head on your lap, “That’s the end of the first chapter?”

“It’s the middle of it.”

The blanket underneath the two of you whipped about in the wind, calming and bunching around your legs. Jaehyun pulled it out, smoothing it down again before he sighed, as well, “It’s not…that bad.”

“It’s really not.” Around you, the hum of the busking festival filled the air; guitars and stereos, drumbeats and vendors shouting. It was a chaotic mix of sound and smells and sights. Mark and Johnny were lost somewhere in the middle of it, “It’s just so…”

“Wordy.”

“Wordy.” You agreed, tapping Jaehyun in the middle of his forehead, “And he’s spent almost the entirety of the first chapter describing how perfect she is, which is frustrating.”

At that, Jaehyun shook his head. He kept his eyes closed, settled and comfortable in your lap, but you could tell he was thinking, mulling over the words you’d spent the last half hour reading and deciding on saying, “I don’t think that’s it. She’s not perfect, it’s just how the narrator views her. He’s in love with her, so he sees the best parts of her.”

Leaning back to rest your head on the tree behind you, you hummed, “Does love always mean only seeing the good, though?”

Jaehyun shook his head, “No. But, you’re only halfway through the first chapter and there’s forty-three of them. Maybe the bad will come out.”

You looked at Jaehyun, your fingers tugging lightly at strands of his hair. You watched as he swallowed and his cheeks gave way to his dimples, just for a second, unaware in such a blissful way on your lap, “Have you ever loved someone like that? That they were the sun and you’d willingly go blind looking at them?”

Jaehyun didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.”

Behind closed eyes, he thought about you the night before; how the sun was blaring behind you, in its final stretch of light, and how he’d stare as long as he could to see that halo of light around you. He could feel you shift underneath him, the way your breathing changed and, for only a second, Jaehyun thought about telling you. He could tell you, he could tell you everything; that it was you he’d stare into the sun for. You were the sun. His heart leapt into his chest while yours sunk to the ground, words weighing heavy on the tips of both your tongues.

You gnawed at your lip to keep questions at bay; who was it he loved so much, why had he never told you? Who filled him with the same warmth as the sun, who made him burn? You kept your eyes down, watching Jaehyun and how the sunbeams slipped through the sparse leaves to dance across his face. You didn’t have to stare into the sun for him, the sun followed Jaehyun wherever he went; lighting him up perfectly in front of you.

Still, you looked up. You heard leaves crunching behind you and you looked up, towards the sun, following two pairs of feet until you saw him; Johnny. Surrounded by light, beams hugging the outline of his body and wrapping him in light. His smile was radiant, “There you are.”

Jaehyun opened his eyes, shielding them from the bits of light breaking through the Johnny-and-Mark shaped barrier. He watched you, the way you willingly looked up at Johnny through squinted eyes, despite the sun. Jaehyun was reminded of your conversation almost a week ago and he cursed himself for claiming support. Maybe he always would. Even still, he sat up, wiped his palms on his pants and scooted away from you.

Jaehyun looked up at Mark, not glancing at Johnny, and asked, “Did you guys find food?”

“Here.” Mark handed over something in a paper boat, plopping down on the blanket next to you while Johnny stepped around the blanket to sit next to Jaehyun, across from you. Mark bit at a french fry, smiling and bobbing his head to distant music, “It’s fun, right? I didn’t expect it to be so big.”

“I don’t think any of us knew what to expect.” Johnny handed you a drink from the carrier looped around his wrist. He looked at Mark with a teasing grin, sipping on his own drink, “You're really bad at explaining things.”

Mark’s mouth was full, “I am not.”

Jaehyun smiled, joining in on teasing Mark, “You called it a “busking thing” and it’s a whole festival.”

“There are buskers!” The youngest defended himself, “That’s what the flyers said.”

Johnny sipped on his own drink, “I almost expected a bunch of your college friends to just be…out here…busking.”

“Why would they do that?” Mark’s eyebrow lifted, his head tilted, he looked identical to a puppy. He almost always did; curious and kind and excitable. But, right now, confused, “Renjun is a linguistics major, Jeno is engineering and Jaemin switched to philosophy last semester. I don’t think any of them have an interest in music.”

“Mark, that’s not…” Johnny started, then released a sigh, “Never mind.”

Jaehyun moved the conversation, nudging Mark and asking, “Jaemin changed majors again?”

With a nod and quick swallow, Mark said, “I think he was trying to impress a girl. He actually really likes it though.”

You asked, “Isn’t he supposed to be graduating in the spring?”

Mark only shrugged, “We’ll see.”

The conversation settled, a new one swelling like the music and ruckus around you. The four of you, tucked under a tree with sparse leaves, munching and mumbling through mouthfuls of food. Mark mentioned a musician he saw, a dance troupe, an artist. You wondered how he could take in so much all at once, all the time. Mark never noticed one thing at a time, he saw every last detail in the world, or at least the things he loved. So, you would all take turns asking the appropriate follow up questions just to watch as the youngest would light up, answering with as many details as he could spare.

Eventually, you’d all picked at the food long enough that it was all scraps and empty cups piled in the middle of the blanket. Jaehyun and Mark stacked and scooped and gathered the trash, and when they wandered away to get rid of it, Johnny looked at you. The sun bounced off his eyes, or maybe it was mischief. Either way, they glistened and your stomach twisted the way it did when Johnny Suh was about to pull you out of comfort. He stood and offered his hand, wiggling his fingers in front of you, “Come on.”

“Why?” You hesitated, he could see it. So, Johnny shook his hand once more and waited until you took it. He pulled you, upright, “What are we doing?”

Johnny laced his fingers with yours, tugging, “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

He was guiding you through the crowds before you could argue with him. Instead, you countered, “That’s barely an answer.”

“An answer would ruin it.” He squeezed your hand, reassuring and comfortable and before you knew it, Johnny stopped, “Dance with me.”

In the middle of the food stalls, all of the organized chaos halted at a dance floor. Groups and couples and individuals twirling, spinning, stepping to the beat of the music from the booth in the corner of the floor. It was Johnny's turn to watch as your eyes sparkled, mouth open and breaking into a smile. He tugged, once more, at your relaxing hand, securing his hold on you to pull you onto the dance floor.

You didn’t have time to tell him no. You didn’t have any desire to tell him no, either. You followed Johnny and stopped when he did, and when the music hit your ears, you fell into step with the crowd and the music and him.

Both of you laughed, half shouting and half singing the lyrics you knew. You spun in a circle around yourself, Johnny countered by circling you; like a planet falling into orbit around the sun. He just watched you and smiled and he was happy to, as long as you looked like that; beaming, blissful, beautiful.

Johnny was caught in his own mind, then, remembering the moment he felt something new looking at you. A moment identical to this one at a party that was like any other, a party Jungwoo had thrown one insignificant day in April. Jungwoo had been fired and he was upset about it and that was a good enough reason, he guessed. A party where you danced like this, with Johnny, in Jungwoo’s kitchen, while everyone else talked or drank or played board games.

Just the two of you in the kitchen.

Johnny was caught in his memory, how his heart swelled and his lips went dry thinking of what it would be like to kiss you. He wavered in and out of past and present, reminding himself that he now knew what that felt like. He’d do it now, if he could. He’d lean down and kiss you, hidden by the crowd and caught up in the music.

The memory pulled him back, thinking of how you’d pulled him in, melted against him, thrown your head back and laughed. Johnny could still feel the vibrations of it against his chest; the vibrations that kick-started his heart after it had paused taking you in. He had said to you, “You’re so drunk.”

“Maybe.” You had laughed, broad grin pulling at red-painted lips, “But I also love this song.”

The sound of your voice cracking, singing a high note in the song, brought him back to the present. You laughed, he laughed and clapped his hands, stumbling back a bit. Your hands caught his arms to pull him away from knocking into someone else and kept pulling until he was against your chest. Once again, you melted. Slower this time, not encouraged by alcohol and restricted by too many eyes. Johnny smiled down at you, “I really want to kiss you.”

“Yeah?” Your voice came out quiet, eyes moving from his to his lips, back to his eyes. You said, again, “Yeah.”

“I shouldn’t, right?” Johnny swallowed, “Not here?”

Part of you wanted him to, still you agreed, “Probably not.”

Johnny said, “I like you.”

It still took you by surprise; as though you didn’t know, as though he hadn’t been telling you, consistently, for a week now. You blinked and tried to breathe, because you might have liked Johnny too, just then. In a different context, but the same way he meant it. You liked kissing Johnny, you liked dancing with Johnny. You liked when he took your hand, when he pulled you safely through crowds, when he smiled at you the way he did. You liked a lot of things about Johnny, so eventually, you might like him, too.

So, in that moment, you said, “I might, too.”

And Johnny grinned. Exactly how you hoped he would, he grinned. Not expectant and not teasing, but shining and pleased, “I can accept might. Might is….really good.”

“Good.”

“I’m going to dip you.”

You shook your head, words mixed with a laugh, “Absolutely not.”

“I think I should.” If you were going to reply, Johnny didn’t care or account for it. He ignored you. You wished he wasn’t so good at that. Johnny had his hands around your waist and he leaned you back, swiftly but carefully. It felt more like a stumble for the first few seconds. His hair covered his eyes, he licked his lips and told you for the second time that day, “I’ve got you.”

And you said, “I know.”

Johnny pulled you back up, tucked you safely against him at the edge of the dance floor; at the edge of the world. A world that was spinning, wildly, around the two of you while you stood completely still. Melted like that unsuspecting night in April.

Johnny said your name, you looked up at him, “I want to take you on another date.”

You hummed, following as he swayed the two of you, “You want to take me on another date?”

“That’s what I said.” His voice was just above a shout, trying to be heard over the music, but you were certain only you could hear him, “Are you free Tuesday?”

Nodding, you told him, “I should be, yeah. What time?”

“The whole day.”

You stopped swaying, pulling back to arms length to look up at Johnny. He seemed shocked, you likely did as well, repeating, “The whole day?”

“I took the day off.” His simplicity, his ease, his certainty came back to taunt you. He guided you into a spin, out and away and mixed in with the crowd. Then, Johnny pulled you back to where you started pressed against his chest, “I want to spend it with you. As much as you can, at least.”

“Okay.” It was easy to agree, the two of you like this. It was easy to look up at Johnny and agree with whatever he said, carried by the music and the energy around you. It was easy and it felt almost right, so you agreed, “I can do that.”

“Good. That’s really good.” He pushed you back, gently and fluidly, like he was starting a new dance. Then, Johnny nodded his head towards the border of the dance floor, “They’re looking for us.”

You followed his eyes, “Ah.”

You saw Jaehyun first, weaving in and out of the groups around the edge. Mark was close behind. Johnny had yet to let go of your hand, holding it for as long as you’d let him, as long as the crowd kept you hidden, as long as it took until you were spotted by familiar eyes. He didn’t mind, really. Johnny didn’t mind having these secret moments with you, not for the time being.

For the last week, all he could hear was your voice saying, “I don’t want to make you feel like a secret.” And he wanted to keep reminding you that he was okay. He wanted you to be okay; with him, with you, with all of it.

He knew it was only temporary. Johnny hoped it was only temporary. He tugged on your hand seconds before Jaehyun finally saw you. Your eyes were back to him, only him, “You look beautiful.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes and tapping your fingers on the back of his hand, “You said that yesterday.”

“I did. I meant it.” He grinned, “And I mean it, today.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll probably mean it tomorrow, too.”

“Thank you, Johnny.”

“I’ll mean it every time you let me say it.” Again, he squeezed your hand. You didn’t answer and Johnny let go, eyes leaving yours to focus behind you, “They’re here.”

Mark was next to you before you could blink. He saw the way your hand flexed at your side, watched Johnny’s hand go into his pockets and Mark smiled, more to himself, “Here you guys are.”

previous. masterlist. next.

[hyuckwrlds]

heeey!

can you do something cute with johnny? like, strangers to lovers or fake dating 🤗

>> right now

wc: 908 let me hear you say it, babe

“So you’re here with…Johnny?”

The boy in front of you says his name with a hint of uncertainty, almost as if it didn’t make sense that Johnny was at this party with you. 

You take a sip from your drink in hand and wince at the harsh taste of alcohol. Johnny had asked you to hold it for him before going to the bathroom, but since he’s nowhere to be found, you’re all too aware of how alone you look now. Which is exactly why you got approached in the first place. 

“Mhm,” you hum, trying to make a show of clear disinterest. 

The boy doesn’t seem particularly swayed by this though. “So you guys are together?”

You pause. In hindsight, you really should’ve seen this coming but for some reason, you didn’t, which brings you to a mild state of panic. Your gaze darts to the kitchen entryway where Johnny is starting to weave through the room of people. 

“Um,” you shrug, managing to catch his eye across the room. He notes the new figure accompanying you and raises his eyebrows, amused at your little predicament. In a silent plea, you beg him to save you from this nightmare of an interaction. 

Like the asshole he is, he doesn’t. 

Instead, he joins a small group of his friends standing a few feet away—close enough to eavesdrop on your conversation for entertainment. This goes unnoticed by your “friend” though, seeing as he’s too busy awaiting your answer like a dog holding out for a tennis ball in the air.

“I can’t really say,” you answer eventually, honestly. 

He awkwardly laughs. “It’s a yes or no question.” 

Sure, you like Johnny. You’re pretty damn sure he likes you too—if your toothbrush in his apartment means anything—but you’ve never defined what you are. You know what he looks like when he wakes up in the morning and how it feels to fall asleep in his arms, but calling him your boyfriend feels like crossing a line that has yet to be drawn.

You know Johnny is waiting to hear your response just as much as this boy. So, with a sigh, you relent.

“Nope,” you admit. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

The boy’s face suddenly alights as he straightens up but just like that, Johnny whips around to finally cut in. 

“Hey,” he sings as he slings an arm around you. Johnny meets your gaze, eyes crinkled in that way you love. “What’s with the face?”

“Where were you?” you hiss.

“Over there,” he answers coolly. You briefly consider strangling him.

“Well—”

“Hey, Johnny,” your acquaintance interjects, calling the attention of the taller beside you. Johnny’s arm has yet to leave you and you’re partially grateful. It makes you feel a bit more secure, like this.

“Hey…buddy,” Johnny starts, clearly drawing a blank on his name. “What’s up?”

“Is it true? That you guys aren’t dating?”

The boy’s gaze flicks between the two of you and you turn to Johnny, making it a point to look at him with exaggerated anticipation. 

“Yeah, Johnny. Is it?” you say, just to rub it in.

Something in his expression falters but ever so smoothly, he recovers with a clearing of his throat. He takes his sweet time responding. 

“Well, I mean, yeah. We’re not dating, but—” 

“Then let me take you out sometime.”

The two of you freeze as the boy turns back to you. There was no way he asked you out just like that. Especially in front of Johnny too, who—despite what you’ve said—is clearly involved with you in some way or another. 

You feel your jaw drop a bit and Johnny’s arm involuntarily loosen for a fraction of a second. Now what the hell are you supposed to say?

“Sorry,” you breathe out. Even though the poor guy had no chance from the start, a part of you feels a little guilty at how fast he deflates.

“Why?” he asks.

“Yeah, why?” Johnny parrots. Like a dick.

You glare at him. He knows why. He just wants to hear you say it. To hear that it’s because of him.

“I, um,” you start. “I’m interested in someone else.”

Even though it had to be painfully pried out of you, something akin to pride simmers in the middle of your chest. Saying it aloud makes you realize just how far gone you are now—to say for certain that Johnny is that someone else.  

“But—”

“Oh, look! Mark’s here!” Johnny interrupts, finally deciding to put an end to everything. He waves at an unspecified person (though Mark is nowhere to be seen) before pulling you away. “If you’ll excuse us.”

With that, he whisks you out of the kitchen and into a quieter part of the house by the front door. Once you’re far from the crestfallen boy, you slap Johnny’s hand off of you.

“I hate you,” you frown, watching as a smile spills across his face.

“No, you don’t.”

“I can’t believe you made me go through all of that.”

Though, as you stand there in the middle of some random party he dragged you to on a Friday night, you figure that you can’t complain. Not when he’s looking back at you with nothing but adoration in his eyes. At the end of the day, you really do adore him too.  

“Speaking of…” he starts, interlacing your fingers with his. “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Let’s make it official?”

[mejaemin]

my heart - johnny suh

day three of my valentine’s day countdown! ♡

wc: 1.1k

summary: yours and johnny’s valentine’s coffee date, where he proves to you time and time again how much he loves you, his heart ♡

warnings: hint of bsf2l, sm love, sm fluff. that’s it ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡

an: finally it’s done !!! i might rewrite, proofread, and edit this later, but here it is for now :> ik its probably really rushed so i promise i’ll edit it sometime soon, i just wanted to get it put for u all

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

you’re just finishing up getting ready, doing the last finishing touches to your look when you get a few text messages from your boyfriend, johnny.

john 🤍: hey beautiful, are you ready?

john 🤍: i’m outside ❤️

you: yess i’m coming now!! 🤍

setting your phone down, you grab your bag (adorned with all of the matching keychains and pins you’ve received from your boyfriend) and make your way to the front door. once it’s open, you nearly flinch when a conveniently placed gust of wind pushes a set of heart shaped balloons bump right into your face. jumping back, you finally take it in and realize there’s a gift bag with your name on it, paired with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a bunch of balloons, corny valentine’s day quotes and hearts covering them. you look up, seeing johnny run back to his car, catching his breath and pretending he didn’t run up to put them there, which is what you assumed happened.

from the sidewalk he calls out, “happy valentine’s day! go bring that all in, i can wait!” he winks, gesturing to the inside of your apartment.

you giggle, reaching down to pick it all up before bringing it all in. laying it on your table, you grab a vase for your flowers and leave the rest. you turn around to meet johnny and find him right behind you, pulling you in and giving you a kiss in greeting.

“you should really close the door behind you,” he kisses you a few more times, and you can’t complain when the feeling is so addictive, “someone might come in and kidnap you, y’know.” he’s smiling down at you as he leads you out of your home, out to his car and into the passenger seat.

as he buckles your seatbelt in you ask him, “i doubt anyone here wants to kidnap me.”

he comes around to the driver’s seat, getting in and beginning the drive to your date location. “i can think of a guy. you’ve probably seen him around before, too. pretty tall, funny, did i mention he’s hot shit?”

you hum, nodding your head. “hmm, from your description it doesn’t sound like too bad of an experience.”

you two share a laugh, falling into the same easygoing dynamic you share every time you meet. even though it’s a special holiday, one full of love and romance, johnny always makes it so easy to get comfortable and talk the same way you did before you got together. sure, the flirting and the way his hand rests on your thigh while driving is a little of an adjustment, but he couldn’t make you uncomfortable even if he tried.

after a while the car falls silent, but it’s comfortable. the ride to your date location is a little longer than usual, having planned to go to a certain café holding a valentine’s day event. for couples who come and order drinks, they’ll get to share a free cake together. it’s a little silly to go just for free food, but what’s more exciting than that?

after a while time flies by, and you’re finally parking by the sidewalk of said café. after a small bit of bickering when it comes to how he knows which store is the right one, it all fell silent once you both realized it was quite obvious. out of all the stores on the sidewalk, only one had heart paintings and garland on the outside. with a hand in yours, you and johnny make your way inside. he lets you find a table while he orders your drinks, not even asking what you want because he knows you well enough to not have to.

you pick a seat in the corner, right next to a window covered in pink and red hearts. it leaves a pink glow on your skin, and as soon as your boyfriend sits across from you he takes a picture of it. pocketing his phone, a hand reaches out for yours across the table, his other housing his cheek. for the time that you’re waiting for whatever he ordered, johnny reaches into his pocket.

“don’t get mad, don’t freak out, but i got one more gift.” he smiles at your skeptical expression, finally revealing the item closed in his palm, fingers pulling away to reveal a small white box.

he slides it towards you, gesturing for you to open it. slowly, unsurely, you pull the lid off, revealing a ring with your favorite jewel, paired with a chain and ‘j’ charm. your face lights up, and when you look up at him he looks shy, but happy as ever at your reaction.

“i didn’t know if you’d want it as a necklace or what, so i bought a chain too. oh, and there’s a j for me obviously, so you can keep me by your heart.” to laugh off the last of his nerves, he theatrically winks at you, eliciting a giggle from you both.

you take the ring and the charm out, before putting them on the chain and holding it out to him. “put it on for me?”

he gets up, taking the necklace from you and stepping behind you. fingers brushing your nape, he moves your hair from the back of your neck and clasps the chain together. he sits back down, and you readjust your hair before pulling out your phone to take photos of it on. one selfie, and one close up of the chain resting on your collarbone.

almost as soon as you put your phone down an employee comes to your table, taking two mugs off of their tray to place them in front of you both, along with a miniature cake covered in buttercream hearts. you thank them, taking a photo of the designs in the cups. one is a heart, and the other looks almost like a plant. once done, you’re about to reach for the plant one since it’s closest to you, but your boyfriend stops you, taking it and sliding the heart one to you.

“a heart for my heart.” he winks again, and you playfully roll your eyes before sipping on your latte. it’s flavored just how you like it, and you sigh in comfort.

“you’re so corny, i can’t believe i’m actually with you.” you tease, playfully giving him a judging look.

“i know why.” you hum, tilting your head, as he reaches for your hand. “because you love me more than you hate me.”

“hmm, i guess so…” you say, rolling your eyes.

he laughs, reaching out for the ring on your necklace to twirl it between his fingers. “you know so. and, you’ll love me forever, right? i know i will. this ring is proof.” the jewel shines in the sunlight through the window, highlighting the metal that’s in your favorite type, and the jewel being your favorite. without even having to ask, he knew just how you wanted it and bought it as a promise to love you and keep it in his heart forever.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ