#thank you so much for the prompt and the support!

[contact-guy]

📚Watson's Sketchbook PREORDER!📚

Hello! In response to ~unprecedented levels of demand~ for print versions of Watson's Sketchbook Volume 1, I'm doing another print run, and will be opening preorders here on MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11, at 9:00am PST/12:00 noon EST/5:00pm GMT.

DETAILS:

-This run is much larger than the two previous ones, but still limited, so being prompt is a good idea. Last time it sold out in 2 minutes, I do not think that will happen this time, but...early bird, etc.

-They will take a bit longer to arrive than previous orders, but should arrive for everyone by the end of January 2025, print- and shipping-gods willing. Thanks in advance for your patience, as I'm working with a small press printer and a small local distributor.

-If your address changes before the book ships, you can always send a message to the shop to update it. In general, any messages or questions about shipping should be sent there rather than by reaching out to me on here.

-I'm really hoping this run is large enough so that everyone who wants one can get it! Thank you always for your support of this ridiculous project that has consumed my life (positive) and for your support of independent art and queer art!

[amiableness]

Peonies ; part four

Pairing: Theo Nott x Fem!Reader

Summary: Mattheo is in an awful mood after the party while Theo takes reader to the peony field.

Word Count: 4772

Warnings: Unrequited love & Mattheo and Theo get into it. Reader overthinks for a little bit. Mentions of drugging? One mention of Y/n. Let me know if there’s more!

A/N 💌 I can't tell you how nervous I am to post this, I feel like it's not my best work. But regardless, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. As usual thank you to @moonpascal for reading, helping me with ideas, and just providing support and comfort. I love you endlessly!

SERIES MASTERLIST <3

“Did something happen last night between you and Mattheo?” Pansy asks, throwing the door open with an expectant look. Despite your low mood, you can’t help but crack a tiny smile at the sight of her—hair a tousled mess, mascara smudged beneath her eyes. She’s the perfect picture of someone who had way too much fun last night.

“Is there any particular reason you’re asking?” You reply cautiously, eyes following her as she saunters over and slips into bed beside you. She gives the blanket a hard tug, leaving you to huff in irritation when she claims more than her fair share.

“Because I heard him and Veronica fighting. I didn’t catch much, but I did hear your name.” Pansy looks you over, taking in your rumpled clothes and tired eyes. You’re not in much better shape than she is, and she can't tell if it’s the lingering effects of last night’s drinks or the aftermath of whatever happened with Mattheo.

“Merlin,” you sigh, rolling your eyes and sinking deeper into the warmth of your bed. You haven’t moved since Theo left about twenty minutes ago, and you’re not sure if you’ll find the energy to do so anytime soon. Honestly, the idea of staying curled up here is more tempting than you'd like to admit. “We got into it again last night.”

“Again?” Pansy raises an eyebrow, shifting to face you.

“Apparently, he does care.” Your voice is dripping with sarcasm and frustration.

“He told you that?” Pansy shifts so quickly it’s as if you’ve shocked her. Both of you know very well that Mattheo isn’t the type to open up about what he’s feeling. Years of watching him around his parents taught you why—with how many times you had seen them scold him for even a flicker of emotion, it was no wonder he kept everything locked up.

You sigh, staring up at the ceiling, “He said he wanted me to admit I have feelings for him too.” Pansy's eyes widen, her mouth falling open as she stares at you in disbelief.

“Feeling for him too?” She echoes, and you finally turn to meet her eyes with a weak nod. Your best friend sits there for a moment, studying your face carefully before choosing her next words. She knows she has a nasty habit of saying the first thing on her mind without considering that it might not be what you need to hear.

Pansy sits up, grabbing the pillow she was using and hugging it to her chest as she stares at you impatiently. She’s waiting to hear if you’ve finally told the boy you’ve been head over heels for, for years, that you like him too. “Well? Did you?”

“I couldn’t do it.”

“Please, tell me it’s for the reason I’m thinking.” She all but begs, her eyes wide with hope.

You let out a weary sigh. “I don’t know when I stopped having feelings for him, Pans. I didn’t even realize I’d lost them until he asked me to tell him I felt the same, and there was just...”

“Just..?” Pansy prompts gently.

A pause hangs between you as you search for the right words.

You hardly slept last night; your mind raced with thoughts of the past few months, trying to pinpoint when and how your feelings faded so quietly. You had liked Mattheo for so long, even convinced yourself that maybe you even loved him. But how could you truly love someone who was so closed off? Sure, he turned to you when he was struggling, but that didn’t mean he ever shared what he was feeling. He liked your presence and relied on you to be there whenever he needed support, but he never trusted you enough to truly let you in.

Not in the way you wanted, at least.

If he wasn’t comfortable with his own emotions, there was no way he would be able to handle yours. Maybe that was the heart of it—the realization that he would never fully open up to you, and that had kept you from falling in love with him. And maybe that was the best thing that could have happened, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it was to come to terms with at the beginning.

Then there was Theo. Who had promised to help you get over Mattheo, and from that moment on, he was there for you without hesitation. He held your hand whenever you needed it, and honestly, you had begun to lean on him a bit too much—being close to him had become your favorite feeling. He never made it feel like supporting you was a chore; instead, he made it seem like something he had always longed to do.

In truth, everything had changed for you. Spending time with Theo was no longer just a way to distract yourself from Mattheo; it became where you wanted to be. Being around him made you feel safe and accepted in a way you hadn’t realized you craved.

And that was absolutely terrifying.

You sit up abruptly, fully facing Pansy, “When you said that you thought Theo would give me everything if I let him, did you mean that?”

“Babes,” she begins, sending you a soft smile. “I’ve always thought you would be good for Mattheo. You bring something out in him; he’s happiest when he’s around you. Veronica seemed to make him happy at first—” she adds with a snort—“but nowhere near the level you do.”

“But with Theo…” Pansy trails off. “I’ve never seen you so happy—and not the kind of happy you were with Mattheo. It’s not the relief of him not having a one-night stand or flirting with you a bit bolder at a party. It’s genuine happiness; you’re truly yourself. Theo brings out a different side of you, and you do that for him, too.”

Glancing over at the vase of red peonies, battling the tightness in your throat and the sting in your eyes. You decide you’d rather not spend the day in bed.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Since last night, Theo has been struggling to push away the thought that maybe the idea of you having feelings for him isn’t so far-fetched. Especially after you’d implied that the two of you were together to the girl who’d tried to flirt with him. The way you’d intertwined your fingers with his, staking a silent claim that he was off-limits, had left him reeling. There was no way you’d be so possessive if you didn’t feel the same. At least, that’s what he’d been telling himself all morning.

And then there was the way you hadn’t been able to answer Mattheo about your feelings. Theo’s whole heart had been in his throat as he waited for you to tell Mattheo that you did have feelings for him, that you’d had them for years. But you hadn’t answered.

In a way, though, you had, hadn’t you? You’d pushed past Mattheo without a word and gone straight to him.

“Are you coming with us to Hogsmeade or not?” Enzo nudges Theo, pulling him out of his thoughts. The boys had all planned to go to Hogsmeade together this weekend, a plan set firmly in stone since last weekend. But when Theo saw you this morning, he couldn’t hold back. On impulse, he asked if you wanted to spend some time together, suggesting—almost shyly—that he could finally show you where he’d been getting the peonies.

“No, I’ve got plans.” Theo shrugs, and Draco sends him an irritated look from the opposite couch.

“We made plans.” Draco huffs, clearly agitated with the change. He always hated it when the boys ditched at the last second.

“Something came up.” Theo sighs, hoping that he’ll let it go quickly. He’s well aware that Mattheo should be coming down the stairs at any second. Enzo had told them that he was taking forever to get ready, probably hungover from last night. 

“You mean your girl.” Blaise corrects, and Draco looks disgusted. His head swings back to look at Theo.

“You’re ditching us for her? Mate, that’s pathetic.” Draco scoffs. “She isn’t even your girlfriend.”

“She’s pretty damn close.” Blaise points out, and Theo tries his best to ignore the feeling that jolts through him when he thinks of you as his girlfriend.

He doesn’t have a chance to say anything—not that he would have—before Mattheo walks over to join the group. He claps a hand on Draco’s shoulder, only for Draco to shrug him off irritably. “C’mon,” Mattheo says, his tone leaving no room for argument.

As the others rise, stretching and adjusting their robes, Theo remains seated, gaze fixed on the fireplace in front of him. Mattheo pauses, giving him a puzzled look, one brow lifting in question. “You’re not coming?”

“No.” Theo answers curtly, clearly uninterested in extending the conversation. The truth is, he hasn't spoken to Mattheo in quite a while, and when they do, it’s nothing but tension—a quiet frustration simmering beneath each exchange.

Mattheo’s curiosity sharpens. “Why not?”

“He’s got plans with his girl,” Draco interjects with a roll of his eyes, impatience seeping into his voice. “Now, can we go? We’ve waited long enough for you as it is.”

“Wait. Hold on,” Mattheo turns to face him fully, and Draco huffs when he realizes they’re not going to be leaving any time soon. “Your girl?”

“You know what he means.” Blaise interjects calmly, his eyes shifting to Mattheo as he watches tension coil through his stance.

Mattheo gives a casual shrug, though his jaw tightens. “No, Blaise, I really don’t.”

Theo huffs, rolling his eyes as he stands, making to push past. “Why the hell do you even care?”

Mattheo’s hand snaps out, stopping him mid-step. “You know why I care.”

Theo’s gaze darkens, voice low. “Oh, you mean because of your feelings for her?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Does your girlfriend know that you told Y/n you’ve always liked her?”

Theo’s eyes flicker over Mattheo’s shoulder, catching the shared looks between Blaise, Enzo, and Draco. There’s no shock in their expressions—only a knowing look as if they’d been bracing for this moment all along. It’s unsettling, the way they seem almost resigned, like they’ve seen the tension building between him and Mattheo from a mile away.

Mattheo scoffs, an edge of irritation slipping into his voice. “Did she go and tell you everything I said?”

Theo raises a brow, “No, I overheard you. But even if she did, what does it matter to you?”

Matteo narrows his eyes, “Because I care about her.”

“Bullshit. If you cared about her, you wouldn’t have put her in that position last night.”

“I care about her more than you think.” Mattheo bites out, and the boys watch carefully as Mattheo takes another step forward.

“Right,” Theo scoffs, “You care so much you went and found yourself another girl.”

Theo sees it before Mattheo even speaks—the subtle shift in his expression, the tightening of his jaw, the flicker of defensiveness flashing in his eyes. “I wasn’t ready to—”

“So you weren’t ready for her? But you were for Veronica? I don’t get it. You can’t just expect her to always be there when you finally figure out what you want.”

Mattheo laughs in disbelief, “I wasn’t waiting, I—”

“Then what the hell were you doing?” Theo’s voice sharpens. “You had years to tell her how you felt, and you didn’t say anything. Then you get a girlfriend, she starts spending time with me, and all of a sudden, you care? Leave her alone and quit messing with her.”

“I’m not fucking messing with her—”

“You are. You’ve been doing it for years.” Theo’s eyes flash with frustration, and suddenly he feels the urge to make it clear that he wants you—that he always has, and Mattheo isn’t the only one. “She deserves better than someone who can’t make up their mind. She deserves to be someone’s first choice.”

Mattheo’s expression hardens and his tone drops. “And that’s you?”

Theo doesn’t have the chance to answer, because Veronica’s shriek causes both their heads to snap in her direction, “Matty!”

Theo watches as Mattheo steps back, anger giving way to frustration, a quiet curse slipping from his lips at the sight of his girlfriend. Veronica strides forward, pushing right past Blaise and Enzo without a second glance. Blaise shoots her an agitated look, irritation flashing in his eyes as she barrels through.

“I thought you said you guys were going to Hogsmeade.” Veronica smiles, reaching out to take Mattheo’s hand, but he subtly pulls away, dodging her touch with a flicker of impatience in his eyes.

“We are.” He grumbles under his breath, but Veronica keeps smiling sweetly, unfazed, as if her boyfriend hadn’t just blatantly brushed off her attempt to hold his hand. Mattheo turns to leave, muttering something to the boys, likely a brief comment about their plans.

Theo watches as an agitated Mattheo strides out of the common room, with the boys trailing behind him. But the boys glance back at Theo, their expressions a mix of caution and confusion. Theo turns to leave as well, but Veronica’s voice stops him, soft and pointed, just loud enough for him to hear.

“You should tell your girlfriend that last night was a mistake,” she murmurs, a sympathetic smile tugging at her lips. “Mattheo thought she was me; you know how he gets after a few too many drinks.”

Theo thinks about correcting her, letting her know that he doesn’t really know what she means at all. From what he saw last night, Mattheo was tipsy—not that drunk—and Theo has had enough years of experience to tell the difference. But instead, he shrugs it off, deciding he’d rather find you than spend any more time in the common room.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

“Hogsmeade is that way.” You say, a bit confused, gesturing in the opposite direction as you walk beside Theo.

“I know.” He replies simply, his gaze flickering back to the trail that you’ve never gone down before. Honestly, you had no idea it even existed. It’s evident that this path isn’t used often, as moss and grass have claimed most of the walkway. Vibrant wildflowers dot the sides, their colors brightening the greenery around them. 

He’s been quiet for most of the walk, which feels strange; you’re not used to this side of him. The more time you’ve spent with Theo, the more he’s opened up—sharing memories of his late mum, the weight of his father’s expectations, and his hopes for the future. These walks, where you slowly unravel each other’s stories, have become your thing, something that only the two of you share.

You frown slightly, glancing at him as you try to piece it together. “But I thought you said you got the flowers from a shop.”

“I never said that.” Theo’s lips curve into that soft, gentle smile that never fails to send your stomach into a flutter. “I said I’d take you with me the next time I went to get some. I never said it was in Hogsmeade.”

It takes you a second, too enamored with the view in front of you for it all to click. The walk isn’t long, but as you continue down the path, you spot a patch of red ahead. It stands out against the greenery, a cluster of flowers blooming a pretty, vibrant hue. You can’t quite tell what kind they are, but when you glance at Theo, you notice the way his eyes flicker nervously, and it suddenly feels like you’re walking toward something important.

But then it hits you all at once: “They’re peonies.”

On instinct, you grab Theo’s hand, giving it a playful tug to urge him along toward the blooms. He lets out a soft laugh at your enthusiasm, and a warmth fills you as his earlier mood seems to lift, the tension in his shoulders fading.

When you reach the edge of the flower field, you pause, still holding Theo’s hand as your gaze lingers over the vibrant blooms stretching out before you. Theo glances at you, heart beating a little faster as he wonders what you’re thinking, but he brushes aside his nerves and releases your hand, shrugging off his jacket to lay it carefully on the ground. You murmur to him, urging him not to squish any of the flowers, and Theo smiles, his expression softening as he gently reassures you that he won’t.

There isn’t much room on his jacket, so you find yourself pressed against Theo’s side—though you don’t mind in the slightest. He’s leaned back on his hands, while you sit cross-legged beside him.

The quiet is soothing, broken only by the soft chatter of birds and the occasional hum of an insect drifting from flower to flower. The warmth of the sun on your skin feels heavenly, its heat a welcome contrast to the long, cold months that have passed.

“Is this why you left? The first night you stayed with me?” You ask, glancing to the right to watch his reaction. 

From where you’re seated, you can see how the sunlight catches every small detail of his face, highlighting any imperfections. There’s the faint mole on his cheekbone, his dark lashes that you’re secretly jealous of, and the thin scar along his chin from when he fell off his broom as a kid. Another mark splits through his brow—a scar whose origin he could never quite remember, but has always just been there. It tugs at you, knowing you can recall the origins of his faded scars. It might seem trivial, but it means he’s let you in, sharing parts of himself that not everyone gets to see.

Theo nods, “I had to go early in the morning to give them to Pansy. With practice later, it was the only chance I could.”

A smile creeps onto your face as you imagine Theo, slightly awkward but determined, handing over the bundle of flowers and the little card to Pansy, who no doubt teased him relentlessly. You’d had wondered how she noticed that Theo was different with you, especially when most of your time together was just the two of you. But now, hearing this, you understand perfectly how she recognized a side of him that only seems to surface around you.

“I didn’t want to leave, y’know.” Theo continues, finally glancing over at you, and the effect is instant—those watercolor eyes meet yours, sending a flutter through your stomach as you instinctively lean closer, feeling yourself melt into his side.

“The flowers made up for it,” you tease, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “Aside from you, they were the only thing that made me feel better.”

“Yeah?” Theo glances down at you, tucked into his side, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips. Hearing you say the flowers meant something to you eases any nerves he had—because they were never just a way to cheer you up. They were his quiet, unspoken way of telling you that he was there, that he cared. And that, despite your feelings for Mattheo, he was an option too.

“Yeah.” You confirm.

For the rest of the afternoon, you and Theo sat together, talking about whatever came to mind as you picked flowers. You gathered a few, but mostly you watched as Theo picked the ones he liked the most, adding to the small bundle that sat between you both. Watching him carefully select the prettiest flowers, knowing he was going to give them to you, made something shift inside you. If you hadn’t fully realized your feelings before, you were certain of them now.

You lost track of time with Theo, but eventually, he had to leave for practice. He handed you the freshly picked flowers and walked you back to the castle, stalling as if reluctant to say goodbye. In the end, you pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and murmured a quiet ‘thank you.’ You didn’t want to say goodbye either, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be the reason Theo might get into trouble.

It wasn’t until you got back to your dorm, leaning against the door with a giddy squeal, the flowers pressed to your chest, their scent lingering in the air, that the realization hit you. You should’ve kissed him. The thought made your stomach dip with excitement, and for a fleeting moment, you entertained the idea of running after him, catching him just before practice, and kissing him. Absentmindedly, your hand rises to trace your lips, lost in your racing thoughts. 

You’re so caught up in the moment that you don’t notice Pansy at her desk, watching you with an amused look.

“You look like you had a good time.” Pansy smirks as you startle and send her a look before pushing away from the door.

“Pansy, I’m fucked.” You whine and she lets out a loud laugh.

“You were from the second he stayed the night with you.” You pause for a moment, letting the realization settle in, and as it does, you know she’s right. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so safe with someone—not in the way you did that night. Sure, you felt safe with Mattheo, but it wasn’t the same. It didn’t compare to the way you felt when you were with Theo.

“Did you know he’s been picking me flowers?” You ask instead, setting the new bundle onto your desk before turning to face Pansy. 

“Oh, I knew.” Pansy hums, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. 

“How did I not notice?” You wonder aloud. 

“You were a little distracted.” Pansy shrugs, and you nod in agreement.

After Pansy tells you she’s meeting Blaise after practice, you briefly wonder if you should go with her. You sit on your bed, lost in thought, weighing the decision, but before you can make up your mind, Pansy is already gone.

As much as you want to see Theo, you hesitate, not wanting to assume that today meant as much to him as it did for you. It’s clear from the fact he’s been picking you flowers that he has feelings for you, but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself or risk ruining something before it has a chance to begin. So, you stay in your dorm, trying to focus on an assignment you’ve been putting off for far too long, though your mind keeps drifting back to him.

So when you hear the knock, your heart skips a beat, and before you can think, you're off your bed and rushing to the door. You know exactly who is on the other side and your stomach flutters in anticipation. You pause just before opening it, taking a deep breath to calm the flutter of nerves in your stomach, willing yourself to appear composed. 

You pull the door open, forcing a casual smile as you try to sound unaffected. “Hi,” you say, though your voice betrays the excitement simmering just beneath the surface.

Theo stands in front of you, one hand holding onto the doorframe. His hair is a tousled mess, and his cheeks are flushed—whether from practice or the rush of seemingly running here, you can’t quite tell.

And when he looks up at you, he’s out of breath and looks downright impatient, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” You pause, thrown off and completely caught off guard. That was not what you expected him to say, and your mind spirals into the worst possible conclusions. Was he regretting what happened earlier? Apologizing for showing you the flowers, or for picking some for you? Giving you flowers at all? Maybe his feelings for you weren’t strong enough, or perhaps he only thought he had them? The thought that it could be too soon after your feelings for Mattheo crossed your mind, even though you’d started moving on from him months ago, gnaws at you.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, releasing the doorframe and stepping forward, one step, then another. He pauses, giving you a moment to pull away if you need to, but you stay rooted to the spot, unable to move. Theo stands so close now that you have to tilt your head back slightly to meet his gaze. He reaches up, and your breath catches when his thumb gently brushes against your cheek, his hand settling just below your ear. His voice is quiet, but the weight of his words makes your heart stutter. “I should’ve kissed you, dolcezza.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, his thumb tracing slow, deliberate circles on your skin as he steps even closer, his breath warm against your cheek. His words tumble out in a rush, desperate and raw. “All through practice, all I could think about was you. The moment I walked away, I just wanted to turn around and kiss you.” His voice drops to a whisper, low and thick with a longing that sends shivers down your spine.

You murmur his name softly, but he’s barely listening, his gaze intense as he leans in slightly, his lips just inches from yours. “Fuck, you've been on my mind for months—years, if I'm being honest. I feel like I’m losing my mind, wondering if you feel even a fraction of what I do.” His hand still lingers at your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin, the warmth of his touch sending a tremor through you as if he’s waiting for something—waiting for you to say what he’s too afraid to ask.

It’s you who closes the distance, your lips meeting his in a sudden, fervent kiss that catches him off guard, pulling a surprised moan from deep in his throat. His body reacts instantly, his free hand snaking around your waist, pulling you closer, pressing you against him. The sound he makes causes a rush of warmth to flood your veins. He’s hardly touched, and you’re already too warm, and your knees threaten to buckle beneath you. You let him guide you backward, the pressure of his hand firm against your back until your steps falter just inside your dorm. Every inch of him feels like fire against your skin, and your previous worries fade into nothing.

Once you’re inside, he kicks the door closed with a thud but the sound barely registers. Without any hesitation, he presses you back against the door, his body close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off him. But you want him closer. So much closer. One hand rests flat against the door beside your head, while the other cups your cheek, his thumb brushing gently over your skin. Then, it’s him who leans in, his lips meeting yours in a slow, deliberate kiss that deepens with an aching intensity. There’s no rush now—just an overwhelming wave of longing, a perfect culmination of the emotions you’ve both held back. Your head spins, your heart races, and you’re certain that if you could take your temperature in this moment, it would be burning hot.

But then, slowly, he pulls back just enough to break the kiss, his breath heavy and uneven. His forehead rests against yours for a moment, both of you struggling to catch your breath. You feel the urge to close the distance between you again, to press your lips to his, because there’s something about the way Theo kisses that leaves you breathless, already craving more. But then again, maybe it’s just him—the way his touch makes a thrill course through you.

“I wanted you to kiss me before you left—”

The door jolts against your back, halting you mid-sentence as Pansy’s voice cuts through the moment. “What the hell? Open the door.” You hold your breath, hoping that if you stay silent, she might forget the whole thing and simply go away.

But that’s wishful thinking: “Babes. Please open the door."

“I thought you were hanging out with Blaise.” You call back, stealing a glance at Theo, whose expression mirrors your own surprise. Before leaving practice, he’d told Blaise to keep Pansy distracted—he wanted time with you because he had planned on telling you exactly how he felt about you.

“It’s about Mattheo.” Your brows raise is surprise at the intensity in Pansy’s voice and you fling open the door without another thought.

“What’s wrong?” Theo stands behind you, watching the way your face turns nervous.

“Veronica’s been giving him a love potion,” she says softly, her eyes studying your face as it twists in disbelief. “He’s in the infirmary... and he’s asking for you.”

please please please consider reblogging or leaving a comment! it keeps me motivated to write, and reblogs help to spread my work 🤍

[highlordofkrypton]

SUMMARY: Before he was a terrifying eldritch god, Nyx was a child. He died and was brought back, and was ultimately lost in the sorrows of the circumstances of his birth. Lucien Vanserra is the father he always needed, and Nesta is the mother he'd never known. Together, they navigate the difficulties of having a strange child, and heal their own wounds.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: A short prequel to cosmogeny, I was inspired by @lucienweekofficial's prompt for Day 5: Home to flesh out the relationship between Nyx, Lucien and Nesta as a found family.

Thank you so much, @thrumbolt for being my wonderful beta for this fic! And for @yaralulu, @matrixsss and @watcherintheweyr for your continued support in holding my hand whenever I doubt myself!

READ UNDER THE CUT OR ON AO3.

Homes are hard to find.

Twice displaced, Lucien has abandoned all thought of belonging. Spring has come and gone, into winter’s long Night, but even there, he had been a passing guest. The clothes and the titles passed onto him were ill-fitting. The bond slipped into his mind, a curse. Pain follows him where he goes, parts of him sacrificed in the name of others.

For a friend, he gives up an eye.

For a would-be lover, he carves out his heart.

But for a boy who cannot see the world, and who longs for love, Lucien is willing to try again.

“How’s your arm?” He squeezes the little hand in his. “Not irritated from the journey?”

A bandage wraps around the child’s chest, securing the still healing wound of his lost arm. It’s visible under the ornate tailored jacket, black with deep blue threading to match his eyes. Lucien struggles to move past how much he looks like his father—how his unsmiling expression, though boyish, reminds him of Rhysand’s cunning. He knows that Nyx isn’t plotting anything, but he wishes—

Oh, he wishes he knew how to make him smile at least once.

Nyx shakes his head, quiet as ever. He speaks with all but his voice, and Lucien is one of the only few who understand him. It must have been lonely, navigating a world so full of others, but forced to remain on the outskirts by virtue of being different. Always a little too something. For Nyx, he is too little and too strange. Too difficult, if his father is to be believed. For Lucien, he had been too clingy and too soft, so his father had tried to beat it out of him.

Tried.

The young Illyrian flaps his wings for Lucien’s attention, and pulls on their joined hands gently. He motions to his clothes, asking to change before they leave the forest. Lucien had taken care to winnow them as close as possible, save for crossing the wall. Their clothes are pristine, but he kneels by him and dusts his shoulders off anyway.

“I think you look quite fine. Dashing, even. If anyone should freshen up, it’s me,” he says with a smile.

Exhaustion weighs on him; dark circles line his eyes, and he feels like he has aged five more centuries. His own wounds are invisible, hidden beneath layers of flesh and bone. The Day Court’s spellcleavers had told him to rest, but when has Lucien ever listened to reasonable advice? He’s more than happy to give it, but he’s spent too much time with irrationality that it’s passed onto him. He can rest once he’s made a home for this boy. One last time. He has to try one last time.

“Come, I’ll carry you so your boots don’t get muddy.”

Lucien scoops Nyx into his arms. Ever since the boy was born, he’d made a point to listen to him—his likes and his dislikes, they’re important. The others had made sure to keep Lucien at bay—they’d made sure to remind him that he was not one of them, no matter how much he tried to earn his place, if only to be around his former mate. Nyx had been his only company, a child that did not speak or look anyone in the eyes, but he listened in his own little way.

He makes sure to hold Nyx on his left hip, so that he can wrap his remaining arm around Lucien’s neck. For his age, he appears much younger. Affliction upon affliction, the goddess has not been kind to him. 

You’re safe, he wants to promise, but no tension between himself and Nyx’s parents would allow him to speak ill of them. They’re… trying in their own way. Learning. Charm upon charm had been weaved into Rhysand’s ear to convince him to give Lucien time. He’ll work with Nyx and help him open up. One day, the boy will return and finish his training, but before then, he needs to want to live. Feyre had nothing to say, her stare as distant as her son’s. Lucien promised to write frequent letters.

They walk through the forests of the human lands towards the nearest village. Their destination is an easy one to find. Nyx spots it long before Lucien asks, staring curiously at the largest manor in the area. He pulls Nyx’s hood up, hiding the traitorous point of his ears, and keeps his own auburn hair untucked. A glamour shields his too-small wings from curious human eyes.

“Nervous?”

Nyx nods once, serious as ever. 

The gates are open when they arrive, and the walk up to the main door is eternal. Lucien doesn’t know how she’ll react. It’s been a decade since they’ve seen each other, and their story is not a good one. 

(He wonders if there’s any happiness left in this world. If he can’t find it, he’ll have to make it.)

“Do you want to knock?”

Nyx nods again, and Lucien sets him on the ground carefully. Nyx winds up his arm, knocking as hard as his little body can manage. He looks rattled by the attempt, as if the vibrations had bounced back right into him. He offers a small hiss, the feeling irritating the raw nerve of his injury. Lucien steadies him with a single hand.

Lucien breathes in, and then out, listening for the measured click of heels against marbled floors. The door swings open, and he stops breathing. 

In ten years, Nesta has become more… refined. While the rest of them withered, she looks healthier. She looks good. Not that he expected anything less of her, but the way they parted was painful. Her face has narrowed, turning what was once beauty into something more striking—something more regal. The way she carries herself only adds to her magnetic presence. Even after all this time, she still wears the same reserved hairstyle. The familiarity makes him smile.

“Nesta,” he nods, and then bows. “Or perhaps, I should call you Lady Archeron.”

Nyx copies the gesture, bending at the waist. “Hello, Auntie.” His voice is barely a whisper, a polite (and shy) croak. They’d talked about how to address her during their long journey together. ‘ Nesta’ felt too familiar, but ‘ Lady Archeron ’ was too cold. Too distant. In the end, ‘ Auntie ’ felt just right. That’s what she is to him, after all.

Nesta regards Lucien like a hawk, assessing him after all this time. Her gaze is so sharp, the emissary suddenly feels self-conscious. He’s still wearing Night clothing, and they feel so, so wrong. “Nesta is fine,” is all she says, before flicking her attention to the little gentlefae before her.

She kneels.

“Hello, Nyx. It’s a pleasure to meet you again.” Nesta offers her hand to shake, but Nyx takes it and kisses the back of it, like he was taught to. “My,” Nesta laughs softly. “You’ve become a very charming youngling. Do you want to come inside?”

Nyx looks up at Lucien for permission, and Lucien nods. Of course, that’s what they’re here for. Nyx is reluctant to go anywhere new without Lucien, understandably so. The last time Nyx was left somewhere, it was a terrifying and violent place. He shouldn’t have been alone, but Cassian—

Ah, better not to think of these things here.

“Do you want to explore your new home? I’ll race you!” Nesta grins; Lucien has never seen her smile like that before. She takes Nyx’s hand, and Nyx joins her in her excitement. He’d never known she was good with children, or perhaps she’s making an effort for her nephew. Either way, she naturally entertains and encourages the boy. She matches his smaller strides, and gives him time to look around.

Lucien hangs back, letting them have their moment. The quicker Nyx acclimates to his aunt, the sooner he can leave them be. What happened all those years ago wasn’t her fault; she’d saved him, however she can, and Lucien finds that he cannot resent her for it. He loves Nyx for all that boy is, oddities and all.

He tries to leave to wait in the parlor, but Nyx always looks for him.

Nyx’s room is half the size of his room in Velaris, but it’s full of colour. The toys here are different, and the books have many pictures. Nyx is fascinated by the concept of fairy tales; his aunt Elain had mentioned them during her visits, but the selection is much bigger here. He goes straight for the books, sitting on his new bed to flip through the pages and run his fingers over the drawings.

“Thank you for bringing him,” Nesta joins Lucien at the threshold, leaning against the wall. They both look at him. “You should stay.”

“He just needs to know he’s safe. I’ll help you understand him, then I’ll be on my way.”

Nesta folds her arms, giving him a look. “You think I need help understanding him? You make it sound like he’s that different from other children.” From what she sees now, he’s not. He’s just like the other children she sees in the square, just… shy.

“Then, I’ll stay until he starts looking for you instead of me.” Though his smile is polite, a part of Lucien hopes that he’d be asked to stay. For as long as possible.

“I did this,” Nesta says suddenly. “If I hadn’t—”

“Don’t do that. It’s no one’s fault.”

“But his—”

“But he’s in a better place now.”

It’s not lost on him that Nyx has had to listen to his parent’s guilt, and carry the weight of the failures of every adult around him, including Lucien’s. He makes a point to avoid bringing up Nyx’s pain in front of him; he knows what it’s like to see pity in all those who look at him. If not for the eye, then for his homelessness. Nyx is home now. They just need to help him feel like it.

“If it really bothers you, you can make it up to him.”

“How? Is there anything he likes?”

“Well, that’s the best part. You get to discover all of that with him.”

The first nights are difficult. Nyx’s nightmares turn to terror more often than not. He doesn’t always scream, but Lucien can feel the way the shadows in the manor tremble. More often than not, Nesta is there first, having selected a room closest to hers. In her time here, she hadn’t taken a partner, nor did she have children. Lucien notices that the staff is kept sparse too, only when needed, such as mealtimes or peak hours, but no one lives here in permanence. He doesn’t know if it’s due to Nyx’s arrival, or her choice to remain private—a faerie living with humans.

Tonight, Nyx sleeps softly between them. They’d moved his bed against a wall, which Nesta currently leans against. She has a storybook in one hand, and her fingers in Nyx’s dark hair. Lucien had promised to stay on the other edge of the bed, making sure that no ghosts snatch him away.

“He’s so small for his age.”

“He makes up for it in cleverness. You should see him with puzzles.” Lucien smiles.

He catches the way she stares at Nyx’s missing arm; the way she steels herself whenever she helps him change his bandages. The wound has closed, but the area is still sensitive. Nesta cares for him dutifully.

She would have —

She is a good mother.

Guilt makes itself known in his heart; Nyx has a mother and he has no right to think otherwise.

“Have you ever seen them? The monsters he talks about?”

Lucien shakes his head. “But they’re real to him.” 

The topic is heavy, and neither knows what to say. How do they even begin to rationalize or accept a child severing his own arm to feed the demons of his mind. Nyx had fought despite his blood loss not to have it reattached, kicking and screaming about the rot. Faeries had started to whisper about the High Lord’s death-touched son, and Lucien resents these full grown nobles entertaining themselves at a child’s expense. Rhysand blamed Nesta, but Nesta hadn’t killed Nyx. She brought him back.

“You gave him a chance. He’s really wonderful, once you get to know him.”

“I already know he’s wonderful,” Nesta corrects. She has never needed anyone to tell her anything, and Lucien is happy to see that hasn’t changed. “You gave him a chance by bringing him here. You gave both of us a chance.”

Lucien nods, but he doesn’t tell her that the reasons he’s here are entirely selfish. Nyx means the world to him, yes, but he’s so tired. In this place, he sees a chance to rest his head, if only for a moment.

The package finds them across the wall, mysteriously left at their doorstep. It’s wrapped up in beautiful bronze fabric with ribbons, and a note. A gift for the Prince of the Night. Thesan needn’t sign his name; the High Lord had gone out of his way to assist Lucien in his request, putting his most brilliant tinkerers on the job. He’d offered to send one down to help Lucien attach it, but Nyx loathes strangers touching him, so a set of instructions would have to do.

He knocks on Nesta’s door, and softly tells her that Nyx’s gift has arrived. Lucien waits outside Nyx’s door for Nesta who quickly puts on a dressing gown.

“Is that it?”

Lucien grins, and nods. He puts a finger to his lips and creeps into Nyx’s room. The two of them gently wake him. Nyx sits up, rubbing his eyes, one at a time. His raven hair sticks up wildly, and Nesta instinctively helps fix it.

“It’s here,” Lucien places the box on the bed.

When he’d lost his eye, Lucien had hidden behind the shield of an eyepatch. It was a terrible disguise, drawing more attention to it than he was ready for. The prosthetic eye had meant the world to him, it made him feel whole once more. Some people stare, but he takes pride in how dashing it makes him seem. He likes to think Nyx will feel the same comfort. 

Nyx kicks off his covers, his face still as serious as ever as he reads the note and unties the bow. The wrapping is pushed aside, and beneath lies a metal case. Opening it reveals the greatest gift of all: Nyx’s smile. (It’s beautiful, it’s so beautiful.) A myriad of emotions crosses his young face, all of which Lucien has never seen so vividly. It clenches his heart, and makes him melt.

Nyx bounces over the case, wings flapping as he leaps into Lucien’s arms for a tight hug. 

“Thank you! Thank you,” he says, the second one more muted.

“You need help putting it on?”

“No,” Nyx says with the utmost confidence and hops back over to dig inside the box for instructions. 

Nesta squeezes Lucien’s shoulder appreciatively before leaning over to read the instructions with Nyx. It requires a bit of magic, but before long, both Nesta and Lucien are tilting their heads and watching a mad genius at work. Lucien had severely underestimated Nyx’s brilliance.

The last thing either of them expected was for the ten year old to lock himself in his room for days on end, taking the arm apart. Nesta herded him to and from the dinner table, but once he finished the bland human food (which he has not complained once about), he’d dash right back upstairs.

“Are you sure he’ll be fine alone?” Lucien asks, looking towards the staircase.

“You’re welcome to stay. Are you sure it’s healthy for him to be taking apart Thesan’s gift?” Nesta cocks a brow. She’s wearing a cloak with a fur-lined hood. On her arm, a simple weaved basket. Most of their food is delivered to them, and taken care of by discreet staff. When she goes to the market, it’s for her. 

The house is nice, but Lucien would very much like to stretch his legs and keep her company. If Nesta says the manor is safe, then it’s safe.

“Nyx, we’re going out! Do you want anything?”

“Auntie Nes has my list.” Nyx’s voice is as serious as ever. If not for Lucien’s faerie hearing, he wouldn’t have heard a thing.

“The important thing is that he’s happy, right?”

“Right,” Nesta smiles.

Even after the war, the humans have not learned to accept the existence of faeries. The wall exists, no longer a myth, but a welcome barrier between two worlds. Faeries are treated as monsters—as great omens of danger—this far South. He doesn’t trust the humans and their fears and based on the way Nesta pulls up her cloak, neither does she.

Lucien watches as she speaks to the merchants. Her smile is kind, but her words are sharp. She bargains like a queen, focused on her goal and undeterred by any pleas made by her fellow villagers. She is a wonder, finding everything Nyx needs in a single spot for less than a copper.

“If it’s money you need, I’m more than happy to transfer you some, my Lady,” Lucien teases.

“I have money, that does not mean I intend to squander it.” To make up for her hard bargains, every winter, she makes sure to send a gift basket to the families that have extended her their kinship. Without her sisters, her father, her nephew or her mate, Nesta only has this forgettable town and its little people. She will outlive them; Lucien sympathizes with her on that very thought.

“Let me,” Lucien offers, taking the basket from her. 

Nesta regards him for a moment, more than capable of carrying her own things (and Nyx’s), but she relents, handing it over to him and carrying on his way. She pauses at a small table with handcrafted jewels, a little girl sits behind it and smiles eagerly. She tells Nesta all about how she and her mother made them. Her crafts are the beaded bracelets, and her mother made the pretty necklaces. 

“Let me,” Lucien repeats, grinning, and buys three bracelets along with a simple silver necklace.

“You don’t have to soften me up, Lucien. I was never going to ask you to leave. You can stay as long as you like. No need to play nice.”

“Who says I’m playing?” He pauses, waiting until they move out of earshot of the humans. “The way you left—”

“I was banished, Lucien. Let’s not pretend otherwise.”

“It never sat right with me,” he continues anyway. “I think if you had stayed, it would have helped.”

“How so? You recall what they said about me. Death-touched.”

“That’s what they said about him, too.” Lucien says softly. 

They pause at the fountain, and Lucien holds up the necklace. Nesta bows her head, and he carefully places it on her without jostling her hood too much.

“Has he spoken about them with you? The ghosts?”

Nesta’s silver-blue eyes regard the emissary carefully, as if unwilling to divulge this secret. “He doesn’t see them when he’s with me.”

Lucien is very rarely incorrect in his assessments. He gives her a look because saying that he’s right would be… rude and he was not raised to be anything but a polite and noble faerie. He asks for her hand and wraps a bracelet around her slender wrist. His touch, featherlight on her skin.

“Why did you buy three?”

“I thought we could match. The blue one is for Nyx.”

“He’ll complain it’s not black.”

The two of them laugh softly. Nyx rarely wants to talk about his parents, especially his father, but he is so much like Rhysand. If not in demeanour, then in appearance, only wanting to wear the colours of the Night. They continue walking, stopping at whatever little stands interest them. 

Upon their return, Nyx has not moved from his relentless focus on his new arm. Pieces are scattered around the room, and they know not to disturb his perfectly chaotic organisation.

“I have your things,” Nesta informs.

“But first, a bath. You stink,” Lucien tells his nephew.

“No, no, I’ve almost got it perfect.”

Nyx has been saying that for days now. Lucien had even offered to have Thesan send someone, but Nyx had rolled his eyes, informing Lucien that he knows how to put the arm on, he’s just making it better. Lucien has no idea what that means, but it does not excuse him from bathing.

The Autumn faerie swoops in, picking up Nyx and hauling him over his shoulder. Nyx yells, but erupts in muted giggles. Nesta steps aside, smiling at them both. Lucien glances at her and grins. Happiness is a wonderful contagion.

After Nyx’s bath, Lucien rewards him with a bracelet which the little Illyrian ties to his new arm that he will eventually start wearing.

Lucien and Nesta are given strict instructions. Sit in the parlor. Wait. The two of them keep exchanging glances, curious as to what their child has in store for them. Nyx has been hiding in his room for months, but his demeanor has been focused and happy. He accepts the thought of homeschooling from both Nesta and Lucien, but he must have his tinkering time. It is of the utmost importance.

Their knees touch, and Lucien mumbles a soft apology, which only makes Nesta knock her knee more fiercely against him in a bold tease. There’s no need for such politeness after all this time. They’ve seen each other in less, bursting into their child’s room, looking for monsters to defeat.

“Uncle, Aunt,” Nyx says formally, walking into the room.

He’s eleven now, and slowly, but surely filling out more. He’s still smaller than most faeries his age, which was why the Illyrian warriors were content in using him as a training dummy. The little ones must earn their place, High Lord’s son or not.

Nyx’s hands are tucked behind his back, but Lucien can see the peak of a black shoulder. He’s finally put the damned thing on.

“Behold!” Nyx throws his arm into the air, striking a pose with his legs spread and chin tipped up. “I have completed my modifications.”

Nesta and Lucien clap. Lucien goes as far as sticking his fingers in his mouth and whistling his excitement. This moment has been long awaited. The gift was meant to be used a year ago, but if it makes his boy happy, then so be it.

“Please, uncle. Calm yourself.”

“My apologies,” Lucien says, unable to hide his smile. Nesta elbows him.

Nyx looks at each of them, and snaps with his metal hand. Over each finger, a kernel of magic reveals themselves—a tiny star for night, a flame for autumn, a bloom for spring, a swirl of water for summer, and a snowflake for winter. There are more Courts than fingers on his hand, but Lucien understands the point. He sits on the edge of his seat, looking at Nyx in awe.

“You did this?”

Nyx nods.

For months, they’ve been trying to hone his magical ability to help make up for what he lacks in physicality. No tricks, tips or attempts have worked. Lucien is no spellweaver, but Nyx’s magic felt like… like a tangle. Everything that’s been packed into that small body was ill-fitting, and yet, Lucien can see the change. Not only in ability, but in the way Nyx interacts with the world.

He encourages Nyx as the child puts on a show for him and Nesta, showing him what the power of a real High Lord looks like. Playful, wondrous and truly magical. He watches as Nyx makes the plants inside the house dance with him, and Lucien has to excuse himself. 

Compose yourself, Lucien, he reprimands, gripping the washroom sink. He can hear Nyx’s voice all over again. Calm yourself, uncle.

Lucien thought he wouldn’t live to see the day; he thought he would have left long before it happened. Nyx used to cling to him, whispering thoughts of death and quivering from ghosts he couldn’t see. Just an infant who’d grasped his handful of words, he’d managed to craft the most haunting confessions. If he wasn’t already dead, then he was going to die. To say that it was not difficult would be a lie. He knows, he knows how terrifying it must have been for Rhysand and Feyre. He feels it too, perhaps to a lesser extent. 

He splashes water on his face, trying to hide the relief spilling from his eyes.

“Fuck,” he swears under his breath, and ends up folded over the running water, laughing alone.

They’re all safe, alive and happy.

Lucien returns to them once he has calmed himself, smiling at Nyx who has taken to sparring with Nesta in the living room with makeshift swords. Nyx, the serious, unsmiling and seemingly un feeling boy is having fun. He flops on a nearby couch, commentating on the display of skill before him.

The excitement tires Nyx out sooner rather than later who sprawls across their laps. Lucien’s arm is extended behind her, across the back of the couch. Nesta toys with Nyx’s hair.

“It feels like a dream,” Nesta says, looking down at the sleeping child. He doesn’t look comfortable at all.

“Unbelievable.”

She hums, shifting her attention to look at him. “Thank you for trusting me, and bringing him here.”

“You deserve to be in his life more than I do. You saved it.”

“Some would say I cursed it.”

“And they would have the misfortune of being wrong. Look at him.”

Nesta leans back, she leans against his arm. Lucien cups her cheek, caressing her gently. 

Their life is imperfect; they are the oddities and the spare parts of their families. She will never be queen, and he will never be a High Lord. The nights are still difficult for Nyx, and he won’t entertain the thought of school, if only to learn how to speak to others.

“Lucien,” she whispers and he swears, he swears he hears her unspoken request.

“Lady Nesta,” he answers, a damn clever fox.

“Shall we put Nyx to bed?”

“Of course,” Lucien smiles politely, too used to rejection. 

He picks Nyx up and takes him to his room, Nesta in tow. They tuck him in with a kiss from each of them. They close his door with great care.

When he turns, Nesta is standing too close, looking up at him. She smells like vanilla from her earlier attempts to bake. Unsuccessful, but another good memory slotted into the annals of his mind.

“Good night,” he says softly, part of their routine.

“Emissary Vanserra,” Nesta says calmly, touching the lapel of his blouse. “If you do not kiss me after a day like today, I will ask you to leave.”

“Of course,” he grins, and presses his lips against hers. 

Home is a manor in the human lands, filled by three faeries that do not belong—neither here, nor there.

Home is a tiny madfae who tears apart every piece of machinery that ticks to understand it, then makes it better.

Home is an unlikely partner with harsh edges and a soft, soft lips.

Lucien is finally home.

[comfort-character-central]

Imagine your f/o placing reassuring hands on your shoulders, giving you a kind smile. "I just wanted to tell you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'd be lost without you."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Old Men(tor) Big Naturals

(for @3luecactuz)

[luffyvace]

Hi I just wanted to say I love ur sm and I'm so glad to have found ur blog <333

It so hard to find a someone to write form tdlosk<3 (the author reader)

I had a cute though if it the came in my mind when reading the P2(?) Of it, Reader friend to show his approval of reader and saiki when he released his newest chapter in some of panel in the background there is this couple who is closely looks like reader and saiki or if there scene where there is desserts the most will stand out is a coffee jelly w Reader fav dessert and along with words of "coffee jelly and f/d are the finest together" (f/d = favorite dessert)

Sorry if I talked ur ear off I just wanted to rent this thought of mine ^^

Have a good day!

AWW YOUR SO SWEEEEEET!! TYSM DARLING <33 I agree I don’t see very many!!

AHHH THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!! That’s absolutely adorable I starting smiling so hard while typing this‼️💖

…………………..♡♡♡……………….

When you were reading your friend’s latest chapter you saw he drew a couple in that background resembled your appearance and had two thingys sticking out a guy’s head and glasses

you instantly knew it was you two!! (Especially with saiki’s limiters LOL)

freaking out, you and immediately ran to Saiki to show him 😭💓💓

he probably already noticed if he read the book before you

”KUSUO LOOK!! Looklooklook!- my author friend put us in the latest chapter!!!”

”yeah, I know I saw, he put us in the manga :)”

”that’s so ADORABLE 💞💞”

”I’m so happy! I’ve gotta thank him!”

you called your friend and barely gave him a chance to speak as you bursted with appreciation over the phone

he tells you he thought you and Saiki were a cute couple from when you introduced them to each other

so he got the spontaneous idea to put you two in his book!!

he explained that although it looked like you were just standing there with hearts over your heads (<3) you two were coming back from a dessert date!!

In a flash there was a smile on your face as you ran over to Kusuo once again to relay the message

he was rather fond of it considering that means he was eating coffee jelly 😎

”dang now he wants some..”

there was another scene where the main character passed a bakery and the items on sale in the window were coffee jelly and f/d!!!

the poster even read “coffee jelly and f/d are the finest together!~”

AWWWW SO CUTE!!

your shaking Kusuo and jumping up and down as you tell him about it!

he just sits there and lest it all happen with a faint smile 💖

he’s happy too of course

but your (literally) jumping with joy

often times after your friend finishes a chapter

you know how authors do that thing where they would put little doodles or facts at the end?

yeah he puts little chibi sketches of you and Kusuo doing cute couple stuff

one chapter will be chibi’s of you two holding hands

The next is you two on a date eating coffee jelly and f/d

it absolutely warms your heart 😭💝💝

you rant to Kusuo, your friends, your family, your author friend- EVERYBODY each time he does it

its so sweet of him!!

one time you put a detailed sketch of your author friend at the end of your chapter and he appreciated it so much!!

now it’s sorta just a back and forth thing between you two :3

This was such an adorable concept 😊💖

°

🏌️‍♀️

:3 (LOL)

[softquietsteadylove]

Hii love, how are you? I have a little request if thats ok.

Gilgamesh has the most horrific nightmare ever, Thena dying in his arms, there is blood and she is in pain and when she closes her eyes one last time Gil finally wakes up, only to find Thena missing from their bed, he searchs for her like a mad man, only to find her in the kitchen drinking water, he picks her up and refuses to let her go for the rest of the day.

Gilgamesh shoots up out of bed. He's gasping for breath, sweat on his brow. He presses his palm to his chest and flexes his fingers. He looks over at Thena's side of the bed, frantic for her presence.

She isn't there.

It's still warm, though. He can see where the weight of her body wrinkles the bed sheets and he can smell the scent of her fondness for the garden. His hand slides over to it, feeling the latent warmth of her presence.

He throws back the covers, desperate to see her with his own eyes. He can still feel the weight of her body in his arms--the dead weight. What it was like to look at her face, still and motionless and cold. He can vividly recall the feeling of carrying his wife to her funeral pyre and watching her body be consumed by flame.

"Thena?!"

He runs out of their bedroom, ripping the door off its hinges--weak things in comparison to his unchecked strength. He looks around their home frantically. His heart is searching for her, the Cosmic Energy in his veins screaming for her.

She's here--he can feel her presence! It exists, she's close, and even if she weren't, her existence would tether his and pull, like ends of the same string.

"Thena!" he calls out again, moving into the kitchen. He can see everything the way they left it last night. Their chairs are pushed in lazily, his apron is thrown over the edge of the sink after she told him to hang it up where it belongs yet again. He turns, ready to break this door open too.

Then she walks in. She's unaware of the nightmare that nearly sent him into hysterics. She walks in, barefoot as always, her long white dress dancing around her legs. The sun streams in behind her, lighting her bright blonde hair like an angel's halo.

"What are you yelling about?" she asks as if he's been shouting at the tv again. "I could hear you all the way from the water tower. I just looked over the garden, although th-!"

She stumbles, although any creature from this planet would have been plowed through the far wall from sheer force. But she corrects her footing, letting him latch onto her and hold her for all the eternal life in him.

He whimpers, burying his face against her shoulder. He inhales the scent of her breath, absorbs the warmth of her through her cotton dress, hears the beat of her heart as his own syncs to it.

"Gilgamesh?" she asks without asking. She runs her fingers through his hair, but he remains cloistered around her. Her face turns to kiss his temple, "what ever could be so wrong?"

She has no idea. He nuzzles the side of her neck, "don't move."

She sighs for the sake of sighing, but she does as he asks. Her fingers run through the hair on top of his head lightly and soothingly. Her other hand rubs his back. He, the Strongest Eternal, truly dwarfs her lithe frame in size. But she lets him lean on her like a tree losing its strength.

Eventually his nervous system puts out its own fire. The fear in his mind settles enough for him to open his eyes. He stays close, pressing his nose against her skin as he drags it up her neck and her jaw until he holds her cheeks to look at her--really look at her.

Thena blinks at him, her marvelously green eyes gone wide and adorable. They close as he leans in for a kiss. When they part, her lips are pulled into a smile. "Will you tell me now?"

"No," he denies, and kisses her again. He gives many more kisses, receiving her return with each. He does that until he feels strong enough to take even half a step away from her. He sighs, letting his shoulders drop, tilting his head as he gazes upon his beautiful wife.

"Gil," she prompts him more gently. Her eyelashes flutter, and her concern for him travels through her palm as she slides it up his chest and then to his cheek as well. They have been married several hundred years, and she will get an answer out of him sooner than later.

He sighs again, wrapping his arms around her and moving her to the sink, where she pours water for them. "Just a bad dream."

"Hm." It's obviously more than just a bad dream. But she leaves it at that, because their days now are full of small battles, not large ones. She raises the glass to his lips for him, as if they were wearied after the Trojan War again.

He remains wrapped around her. He can't let her go. The fear that lived in his mind during that dream hasn't left yet. It's still there, watching him despite the light of day.

Thena takes a sip for herself. "Sit?"

He makes a small sound of agreement. She moves towards the table but he prevents her from separating from him again. "Couch."

He can imagine her rolling her eyes, although it's only for the humour of it. She moves past the kitchen table and towards their more comfortable space. She seats herself and lets him seat himself around her, cradling her against him preciously. "The door?"

He grunts; he'll fix it later.

Once reclined on their couch, he breathes a little easier. This is more familiar and gentle. This is where they've spent sunny afternoons together. Sometimes they read together, sometimes he reads and she sleeps on him the way a cat would. She never liked those creatures.

He would run his fingers through her hair and sometimes she would idly rub his back. They would spend evenings here reminiscing about their thousands upon thousands of years together. Sometimes they would go out to their hammock and watch the stars.

Thena settles herself in his arms. She turns over, letting her head tuck itself under his chin, her hand over his heart with his arms wrapped around her. "Better?"

He nods. They speak the other's language--a way of understanding that only they two have. Usually it's she who has few words to offer but even now, with him being reticent, she understands it.

They sit like this for a long time. He watches the shadows rise and stretch and fall in the other direction. When it's in the windows and on them he moves his hands, only to shield her from the direct touch of its rays.

That privilege is for him and him alone. By the second time he does this she turns over again. He's not entirely certain if she's truly gone to sleep or not. But holding her, feeling the rise and fall of her chest, the way she feels comfortable with him; he feels eased.

Thena senses this. She sneaks one of her arms around his back and against the couch. The other she toys with the opening at the neck of his shirt. Her pale, pearly nail taps against his skin. "Now?"

The Warrior Eternal is not a patient woman.

Although, she has expended more patience than he has seen from her in quite a long time. For beings with all the time in the world, she is not the best at watching it go by. At least not with the menial. When they were first raising chickens, he could swear she would observe the eggs every quarter hour.

"Bad dream," he repeats from earlier. He already knows she knows this, and he already knows she knows how bad it is to have him this paranoid. He squeezes her shoulder. "Terrible, really."

"Hm," she encourages him, moving her hand from his shirt to his neck, cupping his jaw from below. She strokes it, pulling the words from him with her gentle touch.

"You..." he pauses. He doesn't want to lie to her, even if it's by omitting the truth. "I killed you."

"Impossible."

It's not, and they're well aware of it. But Thena speaks of it lightly, and he likes to think it's because she knows that he would take the utmost care of her, even in a nightmare.

"Felt possible," he argues, pursing his lips as he tries to get the image of her still and unblinking face out of his head. His face gets moved, tilted down to look at her lying on him. It's upside down, but this image of her is much better. He smiles.

Thena smiles too, leaning up to kiss him, letting their lips stretch no matter how far to do so. Hers are always so plump and luscious, like berries. He wants to grow berries here for her, but the ground is simply too dry.

She runs her fingers through his hair again, letting her palm press against his forehead. "It's gone now."

It's such a simple statement, but she's right. As soon as a dream happens, it's already a thing of the past. And maybe he will remember it for a long time to come. Maybe pieces of it will always be with him. But it's not in front of him now, she is.

Thena laughs as he stands suddenly, spinning them around with her hands around his neck. "What has gotten into you?"

He just gazes at her, lucky enough to have his own version of a star to brighten and dazzle and illuminate his every moment on this green and blue spec of cosmos. "Do you remember coming home like this?"

He's carried her like this plenty of times. But she knows what he means; he means the first time he carried her inside like this, as his wife. She nods, stroking his cheek again.

"Y'know, I hear humans can get married again sometimes," he grins, refusing to let the dream colour any more of the beautiful present with his beautiful wife. "They call it renewing your vows."

"We didn't make vows."

Ah, his wife, ever the romantic. He chuckles, touching the tip of his nose to hers. "We can make some this time."

"Construct some poetry for the benefit of a strange human to witness?" she scoffs at the utter absurdity.

"You would write me poetry?" he asks and receives another bubbly laugh.

"I would consider it," she appeals as he spins them one more time and sits with her again. She remains in his hold, on his lap, curled against him. "But for your eyes only. A mortal mind could never wrap its mind around what we have been through together."

That is true. Their love isn't for a mortal to comprehend. He is immortal, and sometimes he's left in awe of it. He stares at his wife, wondering if he should learn to weave so he can make a glorious tapestry devoted to every second - every minute, every hour - he's had with her.

He has all the time in the world.

[allylikethecat]

⋆˚࿔ october prompts 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Day three lets goooo and it's still 7:30pm where I live so it's still the third so I'm not actually late, I've kept up with this prompt situation three days in a row! Thank you so much for everyone who has read one of these lil prompts so far and who is still here! I greatly appreciate it and hope you enjoy this one as well! As always, it was written rather quickly without any editing so I can't over think it. Thank you again for always being so lovely and supportive!

³⁾ rose-scented candles burnt down to the wick

Matty couldn’t help but smile, nestling closer to George’s chest, adjusting the soft cream colored knit blanket tossed over their legs before returning to pretending to be absorbed in the book held in his lap. It was a fantasy romance that had been on his TBR forever, opinions on it had been mixed, but Matty was always up for following the latest literary Tiktok trends. He wasn’t looking for anything award winning, just something mindless he could lose himself in. There were dragons, and shadow daddies. Matty loved dragons and shadow daddies, but even shadow daddies couldn’t hold his attention the way George did. The rose-scented candles were burnt down to the wick, and his cup of tea on the side table had long gone cold but he couldn’t recall a moment in time where he had ever been more content, curled happily in George’s arms. 

It had been a lazy day, spent just basking in the presence of each other. Lingering kisses tinged with the taste of maple syrup and coffee, Matty’s cheek pressed to George’s chest as they napped. George’s head in Matty’s lap as they watched television, their bodies intertwined as they read. Or, well, George read and Matty pretended he was reading. Matty was really good at pretending he was reading while really just lost in his own thoughts consumed by the disbelief that this was his life. That this was something that he got to have, snuggled up next to George in the home that they owned in London. Rain was falling, soothing white noise, and George’s heart beat in time with Matty’s own. 

“That page must be absolutely captivating,” said George, setting his own book aside, a paperback thriller he had picked up at an airport ages ago, misplaced and then rediscovered at the bottom of his backpack while looking for a spare phone charger after Boots, Matty’s cat not mine, as George like to remind anyone that would listen, had chewed through his cord again. His breath was hot against Matty’s skin before he pressed his lips to the junction of his neck and shoulder, visible amongst the collar of Matty’s sweater that was really George’s and thus hung off his smaller frame. 

“What?” Matty slurred, letting his own book fall closed as he pressed back into George’s touch. The hard cover tumbled to the floor and Matty winced, realizing he was going to lose his place and hoping he hadn’t damaged the dust jacket, he had paid a fortune for the special first edition having caught on late to the trends. 

“You haven’t turned the page in twenty minutes,” George said with a chuckle, “so clearly it’s so absolutely captivating, that you need to read it again and again, or you’re not paying attention to a single word on the page,” he teased, nipping at Matty’s neck in a way that sent a shiver down his spine. 

“I was reading,” Matty argued purely for the sake of arguing. 

George laughed again, his chest vibrating with the sound. Matty twisted in George’s arms. He wanted George to kiss him properly. 

“Oh yeah,” George asked, “what happened in the last chapter.” 

Matty frowned, wrinkling his nose in annoyance. He actually wasn’t sure. There was something about lightning and a wingleader? 

George just laughed and kissed him, and even though he was making fun of him, Matty didn’t even care. 

Day: 1 | 2 |

[a-little-unsteddie]

60+ Prompts for 500 Followers!

500 followers! Insane! Thank you so much! I’ve compiled 60 very self-indulgent prompts to celebrate!

Send as many numbers as you want, make sure to specify if the prompt has multiple options below it, which option you want! (i.e. 8c for “We have a problem.” / “No, you have a problem.”) Also! Include the pairing and vibe (angst/fluff/etc).

pairings i’ll write: steve/eddie, steve/jonathan, steve/argyle, steve&robin, robin/chrissy, robin/nancy, robin/vickie, p much any platonic ship <3

edit: i will work on these as i can! probably tomorrow night :)

prompt list below the cut :)

20 dialogue prompts

1. “We should compare hand sizes.”

2. “Easy, you’re alright, I got you.”

3. “So, how’d that work out for you?”

4. “It’s not fair.”

5. “I expected more.”

6. “I must be in heaven.”

7. “I must be in hell.”

8. “We have a problem.”

a. “Let me guess. You caused it?”

b. “It’s 7:30am.”

c. “No, you have a problem.”

d. “Of course we have a problem. Why wouldn’t we have a problem?”

9. “You’re staring.”

10. “Excuse me, I have to go make a scene.”

11. “I’m gonna need therapy after this.”

12. “I’ve never seen you that angry.”

13. “I thought that if I acted like it didn’t matter, then it wouldn’t.”

14. “Let me take care of things for once, okay?”

15. “Do you wanna get some fresh air?”

16. “I can’t pretend anymore.”

17. “You’re my person.”

18. “Why would you do that?”

a. “As if I could do anything else.”

b. “It was fun.”

c. “You were standing right there!”

d. “It was a dare.”

19. “That was supposed to be a secret!”

20. “And just who do you think you are?”

20 tropes

21. enemies to lovers/friends

22. strangers to lovers/friends

23. whump

a. illness

b. stress/anxiety

c. injury

d. other (specify if you want)

24. fake dating

25. only one bed

26. memory loss

27. magical au (specify if you have smth in mind)

28. nerd/jock

29. forced proximity

30. time loop

31. modern au (specify if you have smth in mind)

32. hanahaki disease

33. miscommunication

34. mutual pining

35. monster au

a. vampire

b. werewolf

c. cryptid (specify if you want)

d. other (specify if you want)

36. mafia au

37. famous au (specify otherwise i’ll go hogwild and self indulge :b)

38. animal transformation

39. superhero au

40. canon-divergence/alternate canon

a. eddie joins s3

b. different first meeting

c. numbered!character (007/010)

d. other (specify please)

20 moments

41. first kiss

42. first meeting

43. last kiss

44. coming out

45. feelings realization

46. lost scenes

a. rv conversations

b. forest scene conversations

c. other (specify please)

47. break up

48. sharing a secret

49. love confessions

50. oh. oh.

51. sharing clothes

52. game night

53. first time holding hands

54. movie night

55. rewrite scenes

a. boathouse

b. finding eddie at skull rock

c. other (specify please)

56. surprise party

57. gift giving

58. comfort after a nightmare

59. morning after

60. accidental kiss

[cashmerecrow]

Day 31: Jack-O-Lantern

"𝔗𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔬𝔯 𝔗𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱"

[ravendruid]

How about: "Squeezing their hand reassuringly and holding their hand throughout an intense social situation" with Vaxleth in any au? ♡

Saying "I Love You" without saying "I Love You" This AU. Happy Thursday, Snake <3

Keyleth looks out the window at the last rays of sunshine setting behind the tall jade walls. The yellows and oranges reflect on the still water of Lake Ywnnlas below, the center point of Syngorn. The snow that fell that morning has long melted away, bringing out nature’s vibrant green colors within the city everywhere she looks. She should be excited for tonight, her first ball within the ancient society of Elves, but she isn’t. On top of her writing desk lies an open letter in Korrin’s familiar handwriting with some of the most devastating news she has received since she has been in Syngorn. 

Dear Keyleth, It pains me to be the bearer of such horrible news so close to the festivities, but I’m sure you will understand. There has been an accident, and my presence is required with our sister tribe in Pyrah, so I will not be able to receive you for Winter’s Crest, nor will I be able to host it this year. Percival and Vex’ahlia will be under the care of Nell, so rest assured they will be in good company. Lord Vessar understood my inability to transport his daughter back home for the festivities and was kind enough to extend a formal invitation for you to stay and attend the Winter’s Crest ball with his family, so I take solace in knowing you will not be alone either. A million apologies, daughter. I know you were looking forward to the Festival of Lights in Zephrah, but, as I understand, Syngorn’s festival is equally, if not more, beautiful. Please enjoy yourself and do not worry about your old man. I will see you soon enough. Never forget how proud I am of you, Keyleth, and how proud your mother would be, too. I miss you dearly every day. Love, Korrin

Keyleth’s blood boils as she looks at her reflection in the mirror. The bodice of the silk-white dress encrusted with tiny sparkling jewels feels so constrictive she can barely breathe, and the silver bracelets she is wearing weigh heavily on her arms. She observes the loose hair that falls in red waves to the middle of her back and remembers the warnings she was given earlier that morning in Syldor’s office. The dress is pretty, for sure, but she hates everything about the way she looks because she hates what it means: subjection.

Syldor warned her that morning that she was to wear her hair down all evening, not acknowledging that the real reason behind it is that Keyleth is a Half-Elf. She hasn’t been in Syngorn for long, but she was quick to find out how much hatred the city has for othlirs, as they call half-elves, always with a look of disdain on their faces. She has felt it in first person at school, on the streets, and even within the family that was supposed to welcome her as their own for the year. Few have been kind to her. Devana, Syldor’s wife, is a kind and an understanding woman whose experience as a cartographer has allowed her to see the world beyond Syngorn’s walls and shape her views of other races. The support and gentleness the woman has extended toward Keyleth often make her wonder what Devana saw in the hateful man she married. Devana and Syldor’s daughter, Velora, is a loved and cared-for happy toddler that giggles and often plays hide and seek with Keyleth. She is still young and doesn’t understand the differences between Keyleth and her, which makes her a great company. Besides, Keyleth loves children, and the little girl’s giggles always manage to brighten her day. 

And then there is Vax’ildan, one half of a pair of twins, whose sister, Vex’ahlia, is in Zeprah, taking Keyleth’s place. Of everyone she has met in Syngorn, Vax is the one she’s the closest to. The two often spend time together, commiserating over the fact that neither of them is welcomed and wanted in the city, although things are even worse for Vax since he is Syldor’s bastard son, and Keyleth only knows this from the multiple times she has heard it being thrown at poor Vax by strangers and familiar faces alike. Keyleth takes solace in knowing he wants to attend this gods forsaken ball as much as she does. At least she will have a friend there. Someone who won’t look at her in disdain. 

There’s a knock on the door, and when Keyleth opens it, her breath catches in her throat. Vax stands on the other side, eyes wide in surprise. He is wearing silvery-white robes with light blue embroidery – which is so unfitting for him compared to the black clothes he wears every day – yet he looks beautiful. Keyleth’s heart aches when she notices his hair is neatly combed but loose down past his shoulders, also covering his ears. It seems like she wasn’t the only one to be warned of the importance of tonight and the consequences of not behaving according to Syngornian customs. There is a moment of hesitation in his eyes, a look Keyleth has seen in the forest animals that wander too close to her small town. A look of fear, of wanting to run away. She can’t blame him. She, too, wants to run away. Maybe they should. Maybe Keyleth should offer him the chance and close her eyes, pretend she hasn’t seen him yet, and allow him to leave and hide in the shadows. She has no doubts that even wearing such light colors, Vax can still make himself invisible. But the moment passes, and the fear and hesitation give room to resignation and sadness.

The silence that sets between them as they walk through the opulent corridors of the mansion is not uncomfortable. They both know what to expect of the night ahead of them, the looks they will receive, the gossip and comments the adults will whisper among each other, thinking Keyleth and Vax can’t hear them because they are just children. Keyleth knows the wheels in Vax’s mind are whirring as fast as they are in hers, and she tries not to panic. The last thing she wants is to give them the satisfaction of knowing how their hatred affects her. 

There is a hand in hers. It is calloused and rough but a warm, welcoming hand nonetheless. Vax interlaces his fingers with Keyleth’s without a word. As they reach the heavy, tall wooden doors of the ballroom, the same ones that have been causing Keyleth so much anxiety and anger for the past week, they share another moment of hesitation. No one has seen them yet. They could still run away, hide in a broom closet for the rest of the night, and no one would even notice. But Vax gently squeezes Keyleth’s hand in reassurance, and she knows that, no matter what’s beyond the stupid doors, she will have him, and he will have her. 

[starkerscoop]

Courting an Omega, Tony Stark-Style has over 1,000 kudos???? I’m in shock but so, so happy. I only just noticed. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed my fic ☺ This is my first time reaching that number! 

[dameronalone]

I think what the "write for yourself" crowd are missing out on is that I DO write for myself, and often. there's shit that's going to sit in documents forever and never be posted because it's for me. but since when did wanting to interact with people become a bad thing?

I used to get more prompts sent to me or even reblogs and interaction when I did post fanfiction on tumblr/ao3 and I promise you my writing was worse then than it is now so it can't be that. I DO write for myself but sometimes I want to share what I write or write what someone wants to read because it's fun and I like that!

but that's not enough these days. the only people who consistently get a lot of interaction are the "popular" blogs (and I'm not saying that's bad or anything because there are always going to be popular blogs) and if you aren't in with that crowd, good luck getting more than 30 notes

especially in the reader x fanfiction circles. it's horrible there, ESPECIALLY if you aren't writing for the popular character of the month. I don't know what changed but something did change significantly. if you aren't writing smut and if you aren't writing for the hottest character around the notes you're going to get are minimal. I posted a poe dameron x reader fic the other day that was dealing with canon stuff and it got like. two notes on tumblr, and a very small amount of kudos/hits on ao3. even the last smut reader fic with a fairly popular oscar osaac character I wrote didn't go far

its just really frustrating as a writer to try so often and get nothing. I reblog prompts and get nothing, I post fic and get nothing, I try to interact with the fandom and get nothing. I DO write for myself but sometimes I want to write for others. but not so much anymore

[clover-the-awesomest]

Major respect and gratitude to all these wonderful artists and logical people!! I'm an amateur artist myself who has never seen the appeal in AI art at all, or just AI in general, but I never really thought too much on how the situation affects people with disabilities. This thread though shows me and other regular people how free and creative art is. And how "Art" as a concept really doesn't have any limitations! You don't need a robot to do something that only a human can truly understand, and you shouldn't have to!

Thanks for sharing all your POV's on this situation and I'm glad we still have some sensible people in such a shitty world. <3

Plus, AI just sucks overall.

"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity

[dreamingofep]

💐Send this to someone who is extremely talented and brightens your day!💌

Oh my love this definitely made me smile and made my day a million percent better! 🥹🥹Thank you so so much! You are also so so talented and love everything you do. Keep shining bright 🖤✨

[allylikethecat]

"my poor baby, i'm so sorry." this has potential

Hello dearest anon! Last week I said that I would write any new prompt I got first in exchange for feedback on the new All the King's Horses chapter. I have no idea if you sending me this prompt and then THREE whole super lovely comments appearing on that fic are related BUT in case they are, I have done my very best to fill this super fun prompt from the Reactions to making someone cry prompt list! If anyone else wants to send any fun prompts from that list, it can be found HERE.

ALSO I know I haven't filled any of these in a while but I promise I will / am going to get through all of the ones in my inbox eventually! I am a little out of practice so I'm not sure if this is my best work... BUT I tried and also I finished it so I'm counting that as a win! Thank you for taking the time to send it! I hope you enjoy it and are having a lovely Thursday and a great rest of your week!

❤️Ally

"my poor baby, i'm so sorry."

WARNINGS: mentions of past drug abuse, broken bones

Matty managed to hold it together until he was backstage. Sharp, shooting, stabbing pain moving up his ankle with each labored breath. He didn’t dare put weight on it, trying to breathe slowly, even as his lungs screamed desperately for more oxygen, having just completed a two hour show. He felt dizzy and untethered, his head fuzzy with pain as he stumbled over to one of the black gear trunks, “The 1975” spray painted in white stenciled letters on the side. He dropped down heavily onto the trunk, banging his ankle on the side as he did so, gasping in shock. He squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn’t going to cry, he refused to cry. He was alright, he tried to tell himself, cautiously trying to put some of his weight on his foot before recoiling as the burning pain intensified. He wasn’t alright. 

He’s not sure how long he sat there, his head bowed in a silent prayer to the various Gods he didn’t believe in, his curls falling limp and greasy with sweat over his face, begging for the strength to just get up. The rest of the crew were moving around him, packing up the gear and the stage. He’s not sure where the guys went, everyone having their own post show protocol, their own method for dealing with the come down from the rush of another sold out show well done. Matty himself used to get so high he didn’t exist anymore, at least not on the corporeal plane. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He didn’t do that anymore. (He wondered if it would numb the pain in his ankle.)  

“Are you just staying here then?” George asked, a bite to his tone, traces of the fight, the argument they had been having before they had put it aside to take the stage present in his voice. Matty opened his eyes, blinking wetly and looking up at George who seemed to loom over him, his arms crossed over his chest, his body language closed off. He had showered, his hair damp, a wet patch showing on the gray fabric of his tee shirt, clinging to skin that hadn’t been fully dried. Matty was still in his stage clothes, the damp fabric clinging to his dried sweat coated skin giving him a chill. 

He shrugged, he didn’t want to fight with George anymore, even though he was the one that had initiated it that afternoon. Throwing out snide, biting comments, looking for George’s soft underbelly, trying to hit where he knew it would hurt the most, purely so that he could feel something. George had resisted at first, meeting Matty with love and care and sympathy until he eventually, as always, pushed too far and George had snapped. Matty had relished in it before, his blood pumping as he smiled cruelly, getting up in George’s face as George yelled back, giving him everything that he wanted and didn’t know how to ask for. 

Matty swallowed hard, his ankle hurt, he was pretty sure it was broken, and he didn’t want to fight anymore. 

“Not going to say anything?” George asked, his spark still burning, still pushing, looking for the same kind of weakness Matty had exploited earlier. 

Matty just shrugged again, curling in on himself. He didn’t want to fight. He wanted to apologize, he wanted to tell George he was sorry he had started a fight, that he was wrong and hadn’t meant it. He wanted to tell him he loved him, and he was hurting and that he needed him. But if he opened his mouth he was pretty sure that he was going to start crying. He was emotionally and physically worn out. He was scared and he was in pain, he just wanted George to hold him and tell him it was all going to be alright. They were supposed to be packing up and headed to their next tour stop within the hour, traveling overnight to get to the next city. There were twenty seven shows left on this leg of the tour. Matty couldn’t afford to have broken his ankle. 

“Matthew,” said George, his voice so cold, and Matty, already feeling so worn thin, couldn't help it. He opened his mouth to answer, to tell him to fuck off, to apologize, to say absolutely anything, and instead he ended up taking a shaky breath and instantly burst into tears. 

George recoiled, clearly surprised, clearly having thought that Matty was being difficult for the sake of being difficult, not that there was actually something wrong.

“Matty?” he asked cautiously, carefully, glancing around the backstage area as if he would find the cause of Matty’s tears mingling with the trunks and extension cords. “Matty love what’s wrong?” 

“I’m sorry,” Matty said with a hiccup, “I’m sorry I was being a dickhead earlier, and I’m sorry I just fucked up the tour, and I’m just I’m sorry.”

“Fucked up the tour? What are you talking about?” George asked, sitting down carefully next to Matty, gauging his reaction before cautiously wrapping an arm around his trembling shoulders. “And it’s alright, couples fight,” said George softly, pressing a kiss to the side of Matty’s head, all of the fight drained out of him. “I know we’ll get past it.”

“I think I broke my ankle,” said Matty with a sniffle, “I rolled it during the last song and I could feel something pop.” He took a shaky breath, “it really hurts.” 

George stood up, “let me take a look,” he said, moving to kneel down in front of Matty. He made the assumption that it was the left ankle bothering Matty by the cautious way he was holding his leg and reached forward to steady his foot so that he could unlace his converse sneaker. Matty, never one to handle pain well, gasped in surprise and kicked out, hitting George in the chin and causing another pulse of pain to move up his leg. 

George swore, stumbling back as he held onto his face. 

“Fuck,” said Matty with a hiccup, “fuck I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” said George carefully, moving his jaw back and forth, confirming that everything was aligned correctly. He was even more careful this time, his fingers barely ghosting over Matty’s ankle as he unlaced the sneaker, then rolled up his pant leg and carefully removed his sock. He sucked in a breath, not even making a comment about how sweaty Matty had gotten, as he took in how swollen the joint was, and the purple hue that the limb had taken on. 

Matty couldn't bring himself to look at it. “How bad is it?” he asked wetly. If it looked even half as bad as it felt, he knew it wasn’t going to be good. 

“My poor baby,” said George softly, “I’m so sorry.” He paused, “I think you’re right, I think it is broken.” 

Matty just hiccuped wetly in response.