#thank you so much for the ask dear anon it was a really interesting question and i'm so so sorry to answer so late to you

[acrazybayernfan]

Thoughts on Naglesmann going to PSG?

I think that he doesn't deserve so much pain. All the PSG trainers turns mad after six months in this club because in addition to an incredible level of pressure they have to deal with everything on their own, they will have to face all the criticisms and they will never have any support from the club.

Plus PSG isn't a club that works "normally".

First the star players are free to do whatever they want even if it's against the trainer's advise or opinion because since PSG isn't only a football club but also (and I should say mainly) Qatar's most efficient embassy they need to have players who will attract peoples, and since none of these players have any attachment for the club they have to bribe them with money and complete freedom. That's why Neymar has been free to ruin his health as much as he wanted over the course of the last years. Messi was the only player who faced a semblance of authority from the club lately and it was only in order to make sure that he will leave. People started to know about Qatar because they knew about PSG and they knew about PSG because Zlatan, Mbappé, Neymar and Messi played or plays there.

Secondly, there is no real sport director in PSG. Campos works here with a sort of part-time job and Henrique is called by the club when they need him. Knowing these two persons, none of them will stand by Julian and help him and none of them want of a trainer like him who won't be their little puppet. They will fight against him just like they fight against each other.

Finally, no one knows who is the real head of this club and who takes the final decisions. Nasser as so much things to do that it's impossible for him to really govern PSG. The persons in Doha are of course the real owners but they certainly doesn't care enough about the club to have an active part in every decisions but they can also impose they will according to their caprice.

For someone who so much needs to be in control, like Julian, perhaps that Bayern with it's strict organization wasn't the best place for him but a club like PSG, with no organization at all, won't be a better place for him either. He won't have the freedom and the power he wants, he is just going to be the smokescreen who will hide everyones' mistakes.

[misshugs]

The elevator game || Colby Brock x Reader

[req by anon] You knew you were sensitive to the other side, but you didn't expect a silly little game from the internet to give you this much of an impact.

warnings: cursing, paranormal activity, reader getting (slightly) attacked by ghosts, sensitive/medium!reader, degrading, angst? still not sure what the meaning of it is tbh

a/n: this is my first request ever, i hope i didn't let you down dear anon. Concept based on this video

word count: 2.5k (not proofread)

[u n e d i t e d]

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"What's up guys, it's Sam and Colby!" Colby screamed towards the camera, as always.

"Today we are here at the Driskill Hotel, also known as the most haunted hotel here in Texas." Sam continues.

"We're here to figure out why this place is so haunted and what message the ghosts here wanna tell the people. And for this video guys, we have a very special someone!" Colby says, moving to the side so that you're visible to the camera.

Waving at it and smiling, you were greeted by Colby's hands wrapped around your shoulders. "Thank you, thank you. Hello, dear people. It is I." They laugh.

"How are you feeling about this? Are you excited?" Sam asks, putting the camera on the both of you.

"I am! The place is HUGE and honestly, just looks so good!"

"Right?? When we got in it was just like a burst of shock at how gorgeous this place is." Sam said and Colby nodded.

"If it weren't haunted I'd probably come here more often, but I can already feel all of these... energies walking around, I wouldn't last too long."

"Oh, right. For anybody that doesn't know, Y/n is actually a bit of medium?" Colby asks while looking at you, making you nod. "Yeah, so she's sensitive to like the energy of shadow figures and things like that, so maybe we'll get to experience something interesting tonight!"

"I'd say hopefully not but that wouldn't make it fun I guess." You laugh and so do they while you explain it is a pain in the ass to feel those things constantly. "It is almost as if you're constantly paranoid about someone looking at you, y'know what I mean?"

"Oh yeah, for sure." Colby noded.

"Yeah so that, but those stares are more physical than anything, there are times where I can feel people walking behind me and when I look back, there's no one."

"I can just imagine how creepy that must feel." Sam said and you chuckled.

"Oh yeah. You have no idea." You smiled.

"Well then, shall we begin the investigation?" Colby asked you, smiling. You quickly smiled back.

"Of course." You kissed him softly before Sam could even turn off the camera.

"Oh, gross man. I'll have to edit that out." He said jokingly and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"But seriously though, let's keep it moving." You said and they agreed.

Walking around, there were a few pieces of lore they had to explain to you beforehand. About the one and only Driskill who created the hotel, about the little girl that broke her neck, so on and so forth.

There were times when you had this eerie feeling of constantly being followed, so you kept your arms interlocked with Colby's.

"You're doing okay so far?" He asked, cautiously caressing your hand. You nodded.

"Yeah, just feel like we're being followed." You replied, looking back where there was no one there.

"Really??" Sam asked, looking back as well but seeing nothing. "Do you think we caught a ghost's interest?"

"I mean, probably. There is a difference in between someone that's coming just for the hotel part and us, that are investigating and directly needing their intervention. We're making them curious."

"Well, for whatever spirit that might be following us, you're welcome to answer our questions later on tonight." Colby said loud enough for anything around to listen to it.

Honestly, even those small gestures made you so madly in love with him. The way he touches you softly just for you to make sure you're not alone and he's here for you is such a warming feeling.

Wilst looking around the current room, Colby walked up to a random closed door and tried to walk through.

"She said no closed doors!" Sam exclaimed, probably talking about the tour guide's rules of the place.

"Unless it's... unlocked." Colby responded, making Sam roll his eyes.

"Oop, it's Jim Hogg's room." You said, looking up.

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"I dunno, it says its name on the top." You point up and they just laughed at the comment. I mean, what were they expecting? You had no idea about whatever story roams around these halls asides from the two main ones they've explained.

"Also I don't think you should be trying even more, like if it's hard to go in it's probably because you're not supposed to."

"We have a bad reputation of breaking into places." Sam admitted and you smiled.

"Yeah, I know. I remember that." You chuckle and hold Colby's hand to pull away from the door.

As they kept on chatting and making interesting comments here and there, you found the elevator and pointed it out. "Oh, is this the one?" Colby asked Sam and he just gave him a stare.

"This is the one what?" You ask and they look at eachother.

Sam sighed. "We were going to keep it until the time came, but we may have a little challenge for tonight that has to do with the elevator."

"Ooooh sounds fun. I wanna do it." You smile.

"You sure?? You have to be by yourself." Colby asked, worried but amused.

"Do you think I can't do this, Mr. Brock? That's offensive." You spat, crossing your hands around your chest.

"No! I meant-" He tried to explain, but you quickly interrupted.

"Cancelled, I tell you. Cancelled!" You look away with your eyes closed, trying not to laugh at the stupid situation unfolding.

"Great." You heard him sigh in defeat as Sam started laughing at the both of you. Looking back with a smile on your face, you hugged him.

"Alright, let's get going already." You giggled, gaining a kiss on the top of your head from your boyfriend.

Walking inside the elevator, it almost felt as if it quickly went down in an unnatural way.

"Did you guys feel like... the elevator dropping three inches?"

"Yeah, kinda of." Sam said.

"Three inches is a lot." Colby replied.

"Three inches is huge." Sam continued.

"I can vouch." You said.

"Mass..." Colby began talking but couldn't hold in the laugh after you said that.

Going back to the main lobby, you all reached out to a girl that was apparently the tourguide. She quickly explained the story of the place, how it ended up being the renouned hotel it came to be.

When she explained that the smell of cigar was one of the main ways Driskill manifested, your eyes went wide. "You're kidding."

"No, did you smell it before?" She asked.

"I did! But it was like, close to the entrance so I thought that maybe someone was smoking. I did find it rare because it was just a glimpse of it for like a solid second and then gone." You explained, making the girl smile.

"Well, that was him."

"No way." Colby said, smiling at you.

"Yup." She nodded, continuing to explain as you all started walking back to the elevator. Going inside, the door closed only to be opened again. "Oh?"

"Did we just pressed five and went to one? It's haunted!" Sam exclaimed.

"That was weird." Colby said, looking at the door.

"It was, that was so weird." The guide said, trying to close the door once again, only for it to open again.

"Does it do that often?" You asked and she shook her head.

"No! It doesn't." She walked back out and talked to someone from out side. "Are you fucking with us?"

"That's so strange- oh, I hit it." You whispered. The guide came back in.

"But you see it, right? I'm pressing five and it like start to go up but then it stops." The door closes once again, only for them to open.

"Oh my god." Sam said, whispering.

"And we're doing a challenge here?" You asked confused, making them laugh.

"Not here exactly." Colby smiled.

"Lemme- I'll go out." You said, walking out of the elevator, watching as the doors began to close, only for them to open once again. "Oh no, that's- that's a malfunction alright."

"And you said it, these malfuction all the time." Colby said to the guide as they walked out of the elevator.

When Sam did it by himself, it started working all over again.

"What the fuck??" Colby yelled.

"Are we like fat? Is it fat shaming us?" You whined, making everyone laugh.

And so, even though your night barely started, you were already having some activity to say the least.

And it kept being that way all night. Constant responses from spirits, intelligent ones at that. The little girl, the woman from the vortex room... all the way down to the challenge you've been anticipating the whole night round.

The elevator challenge.

"I think it might be just me but every single time we pass through this side of the hotel I feel like actually throwing up."

"Wait, really?" Colby asked, worried.

"Like an eerie feeling more than anything, almost like I'm kinda feeling a bit dizzy whenever we pass through here."

"Are you sure you want to do this? You can still back out, or I could go in with you." Colby tried to make you change your mind, but you were settled in it.

"No, I have to do it alone. What if it doesn't work because we're together? You're not gonna let me do this right?"

"I do! I'm just worried." Colby admitted, making you smile.

"You cutie. I love you so much." You said, smiling at him and cupping his face before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Y'all are gonna make me puke, another part I'm gonna have to cut out." Sam joked, making you giggle.

"Alright, alright. So, how does this work?" You ask, hugging yourself as you wait for instructions.

It was a simple game. Supposedly, you had to hit the buttons of the elevator in a specific order. In the last one, you had to invite in a lady. If the ritual worked, you were supposed to start going up into another world. If it didn't, well, nothing happened and it failed.

"So... I'm about to get isekai'd? We're going to an anime, brothers." You laughed at your own joke while they handed you your camera.

"I send you the order, just in case." Sam continued, and you nodded.

"Thank you, 'cause I already forgot." You turned on your phone as well as the camera and walked in.

"Any last words?" Colby asked cheekishly, making you smile.

"See you in the other side." You answered, before the door closed. You sighed, putting the camera up to your face. "Alright, so... I'm supposed to hit this one first." Switching the camera back to the buttons, you hit the number four.

It began moving. "Oh, good. It would've been a mess if it already fucked up. Alright..." You sighed. "I didn't told them this, but I do find the thought of getting stuck in an elevator horrifying. I just agreed because maybe it might help me out, but it doesn't work the fact that I can feel so many spirits around this area specifically every time we walk past it." You explain before getting on the next floor, touching the next button.

Back down on the lobby, Sam and Colby were talking.

"I didn't want her to do it, honestly. I was gonna do it myself." Sam said.

"Right? She's our guest too, what if something happens to her? That would be the death of me."

"Don't jinx it, brother. She'll be alright."

Boy they were wrong.

Halfway through, your vision started to get blurry, your legs were shaky and you couldn't brush off the feeling of pressure on your chest. It was starting to make you nervous, even more so the fact you were alone.

You started thinking to yourself. What if something really did happen? What if you summon something your body couldn't handle? What if it really did send you to another world?

It happened so quickly, that you have already reached the last floor before you knew it. Gulping down your dry throat, you began to speak. "Alright, if there's something... out... oh fuck." Your vision got blurry and you could feel an inmense ammout of power flushing through the elevator doors even before it opened up.

You couldn't hold it together, it was too much for you to handle as you were suspecting before. Although you tried to stay up, your legs couldn't hold your weight up anymore and you passed out, falling down to the floor, hitting your head strongly onto the hard floor of the elevator.

Luckily, the ritual didn't work. It began going down and the guys, mainly Colby, were anxiously waiting for the doors to open. When they did, their faces fell.

Colby screamed out your name, quickly rushing in and holding your head. "Love?? Sweetheart, what happened? Wake up, please. Oh God." He began shaking, carrying you outside of the elevator so that it was slightly more comfortable.

"What happened? Oh my fucking God." Sam whispered, grabbing your camera from the elevator's floor and walking out.

"She's not responding, Sam." Colby nervously said, making sure you were at least still alive.

You were.

"Should I call an ambulance or something?" Sam asked. "Oh, no. I have the keys with me."

"Let's take her to the hospital, quickly." He lifted you up from the floor and hurriedly got out of the building and to the hospital.

You were alright, luckily. It seemes you have just fainted, but you falling down to the floor and hitting your head so hard made it a bit more complicated than what it had to be.

Colby felt bad, horrible even to think that this could've happened to you.

He should've been more careful, he should've known you were too sensitive to all of these energies so that you would go alone and out to make something so nerve racking. He should've been more insisting, rather than going with the flow merely because of a video.

He let his love have that type of experience because of a mere video.

It devastared him. Made him feel absolutely awful about it. While waiting for you to wake up, he kept on downgrading himself thinking about how he's the worst possible boyfriend.

It all stops when you finally wake up. Looking around the white room, confused.

"What happened?"

"It looks like you fainted... I'm so sorry for letting you do that all by yourself, I should've stopped you, I should've at least gone with you, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that because-"

"Love. Love!" You held his cheeks softly, making him quietly stop ranting, you smiled. "You know I wanted to do it, I was the stupid one for forgetting that big energy rafts can affect me a lot, I'm so sorry baby." You kissed his nose, reassuring him everything was alright.

And honestly, he needed to hear it. From you, specifically. Sam was trying to make him calm down but it didn't really work. It had to be you, your voice, your smile.

The one thing that made him whole all over again.

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I MAY HAVE DONE TOO MUCH FILLER FOR NO GODDAMN REASON- also hoping that dear anon liked it-

thank you for reading, loves~! likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated <3

~nikkõ

[spxllcxstxr]

Being a Maia Witch and in the Fellowship • Headcanon

(Gif not mine)

Request: Hi, if you're taking requests, can I get headcanons for the Fellowship? The reader is a Maia witch and is sort of a colleague of Gandalf's but he's also a bit of a mentor. Just interested to see how you think everyone would interact with the reader :) thank you so much and I hope you stay safe, happy, and healthy — anon

Warnings: reader is one of the blue wizards, mostly gender neutral though you are called a witch, mix of book and movie canon

A.N: Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope you enjoy these hcs, I really enjoy writing about the fellowship!

•

Since stepping foot on Middle Earth you had always been a wanderer

Of course you had spent time with the other Maiar; though you had your own specialized magic, Gandalf mentored you a lot

You always felt closer to Radagast the Brown; he cared deeply about nature and the living world that you lived in

You had been known to almost vanish for years at a time, exploring some deep cavern or somewhere high in mountains, it was always on a whim

You were elusive--all the races of Middle Earth had their own names and tall tales about you

But as the Age of the Elves starts to dwindle you start to ease down on the amount of adventures you have

Until your dear old friend Gandalf the Grey shows up on your doorstep out of breath with and almost crazed look in his eyes

A hobbit has the One Ring

So much for not traveling

You join the Fellowship at the Council of Elrond--no one opposes having another magical being in their midst

You try to get to know the other members better, it has been some time since you have interacted with people so your communication skills are a little rusty

Gandalf trusts you, of course, he is thrilled you have agreed to join them

He confides in you about the quest and the situation; things he would not tell the others

You two understand each other in a way no one else in the Fellowship can

The two of you, to fill the time, talk about your own travels and the history of Middle Earth

"You have been gone for too long, (Y/n), Middle Earth has suffered in your absence."

"Oh Gandalf, I needed to see everything before it was too late."

Boromir is a little wary of you, in Gondor they believe your presence is a bad omen since you do not show yourself too frequently near Minas Tirith

He warms up to you while travelling to the Mines of Moria because you and Gandalf exerted so much power trying to save them

"You are not the ill portent my father has talked about, witch. Why did you avoid Minas Tirith for so long?"

Aragorn has probably seen glimpses of you throughout his life and because of his travels he has heard many stories about you

Honestly he's very intrigued and asks many questions about what you have seen

He really trusts you almost immediately, you were welcomed in Rivendell, showing that Elrond trusted you

In Lothlorien Galadriel also holds you in high esteem, she's surprised you're in the Fellowship; not because you do not care about the fate of Middle Earth, but because you never tend to stay in one place long

"You must guide me, (Y/n). With Gandalf lost...I cannot proceed without council..."

Legolas is all over you--endless questions about the world and the time that has passed, but in like a subdued manner

He trusts you, though in recent years your reputation has been tarnished by his father, who is of the thought that you and the other wizards should have helped them fight against the spiders. He believes the Greenwood fell to darkness due to the negligence of the wizards

"Do you believe the Greenwood will be cured after we destroy the Ring, (Y/n)? I have missed my home..."

Gimli goes through the motions of meeting a witch only a handful of people have encountered in your lifetime

He's the one that discovered your sense of humor and loves joking with you

You ask him about recent dwarven culture, dwarves are wary of outsiders so it has been a while since you have seen their tools and creations

"Just you wait, lass, what we have created is unlike anything you have ever seen!"

Merry is genuinely delighted that you joined them

He feels a lot safer with two wizards, even if you’re not that experienced with fighting

Merry trusts your judgement and certainly looks for your approval just like he does with Gandalf

(Also please show him magic he loves Gandalf’s fireworks and he wants to see what else magic can do since Gandalf doesn’t really show anyone that stuff)

“Can you make Boromir’s shield disappear, (Y/n)? Or perhaps make Legolas’ hair a different color?”

Pippin is like Merry on crack

He wants to know every little detail about everything but at the same time he is chewing your ear off

Honestly he’s probably telling you his life story too

He enjoys your company, like Merry he feels a lot more secure in this quest and he also comes to see you as a friend

Wants to see your magic, even if you just create sparks at your fingertips

Probably your number one fan

“Can I see your staff (Y/n)? I promise not to use it to singe Gandalf’s beard!”

Sam is very shy around you and is very protective of Frodo

Sure Gandalf trusts you, but you’ve only ever been a fable in the Shire

He knows nothing about you, what have you been doing this entire time?

He does warm up to you, though, once you prove to him that you are truly there to help them succeed

Learns a lot about herbs from you, whether they be for cooking or medicine

“Tell me about the Elves, (Y/n). You must know so much about them. Rivendell was so beautiful…”

Frodo is highly suspicious of you for quite a while

It is mostly because he is afraid of the Ring and its influence

He doesn’t know you like he knows Gandalf so it takes him a bit to trust you

Bilbo has only told him rumors of you

It isn’t until Gandalf dies that he really starts looking to you for guidance

He takes to you mostly at night when everyone is asleep because he is away from prying eyes

“This quest leads me to my death, doesn’t it witch? I do not know how to even begin to understand that…”

Overall you guys learn to bond and grow together throughout the quest

You have never been so happy to be around people despite the circumstances, and you start to understand why Gandalf has always been so involved with the people of Middle Earth

•

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hi there, i feel like our spouse doesn't react much to all the magical weirdness on our farm

Can i get some hc for Sdv+sve spouses one day waking up and being able to see an army of juminos recolting crops (farmer have like 4/6 juminos huts and lots of crops)

And the farmer just say "oh you can finally see them" while giving the juminos some raisins.

Heya 👋 Thank you for your ask, dear anon! (and I apologize for taking a little longer to answer 😅).

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SDV/SVE bachelors:

Alex can't believe his own ears! Spirits? For real? No way! The athlete dropped everything and quickly walked over to one of the Junimo and started poking at them, causing the little creature to squeak. "Alex, don't be rude. At least offer them raisins first." "Oh, sorry..." But he can't help himself because... a real spirits!

"Hey hon, I made you coffee-" Stepping out onto the front porch of the farm house, Shane found an army of apples with eyes and arms and legs following Farmer around like little chickens following mama hen. With a "fuck this shit, I'm out" face, he walked back home, thinking it was all from lack of sleep.

Sam's eyes nearly popped out of his orbits when he saw Farmer surrounded by apple-like creatures that were jumping and reaching for the raisins in Farmer's hands. The guitarist approached his spouse with an obvious question, but his stomach rumbled treacherously. "Do you have any raisins left for me?" Breakfast first, question later.

"Huh." That was all Sebastian expressed as he treated Junimo to some raisins. This creatures kinda cute, actually. "Sebby, dear, didn't it surprise you at all?" *Sebastian looks at the huge slime hutch, the coop with void chickens, the giant golden clock and the four tall warp obelisks* "Nah, not really, why?"

Not believing his own eyes, Harvey wiped his glasses and looked again, but what he saw before him had not changed. Farmer was still standing over the strange leaf house, and the apple-like creatures were still jumping around them. The doctor felt a little uneasy. He wants to ask. At the same time, he doesn't want to ask anything, lest he break his mind completely.

At first Elliott couldn't understand why there were different apples lying around his spouse. Red, yellow, green... blue and purple? Until those apples had eyes, arms and legs. "Good morning, Elliott, did you sleep well?" Apparently not, because the writer feels that sleep deprivation is making him see some... jumping apples.

Why would Magnus be surprised by the existence of Junimo? In fact, he's the one who introduced Farmer to these creatures. Interest in how his spouse had made friends quickly with the forest spirits, yes, but surprised? He is a wizard, he'd seen more stranger things than that in his life.

Well, that.... explains why Farmer refused Victor's advice to hire some helpers for the farm. Turns out his beloved spouse already has helpers... Little, apple-like helpers. Victor knows magic exists, but he didn't think he'd see something like this in real life. This is great, actually. Very interesting.

Does Lance see Junimo? *Chuckle* Of course, dear Farmer, and not only does he see them, but he even managed to ask the little forest spirits a few questions. For a good portion of raisins, because they love this treat so much. When else would the gallant adventurer have a chance to chat with Junimos, hm?

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SDV/SVE bachelorettes:

It had been about half a minute, and Maru couldn't let go of the idea that what she was seeing was the work of magic, and not Farmer's little robotic assistants. Magic, spirits... No, that somehow doesn't fit in her head. She's determined to study these 'Junimos' to see who or what they are. Erm, if the Farmer and the creatures themselves don't mind, of course.

You know that state when you have a lot of conflicting emotions bubbling up inside you, you don't know how to react to your own cognitive dissonance about the "magic" that is right in front of your eyes, but you try to stay positive for the sake of the person you love? That's what Penny was experiencing when her spouse was showing her forest spirits.

"Oh, so cute!" Abigail has a bit of magic in her, so of course she can see Junimo too. She's in awe of these forest creatures! And they are such wonderful helpers, harvesting the crops. "My spouse pays you well, yeah?" And the little Junimos jump around happily with tasty raisins in their little hands.

"Eeew! What is tha- Ah, okay, at least it's not rats." Apparently Haley can excuse cute magical forest spirits, but she draws the line when it comes to rats. Because she's terrified of those rodents, yuck. Junimos at least help her beloved Farmer with work, and they smell like forest freshness.

Merciful Yoba! Emily felt the presence of someone's unusual aura, but she couldn't explain who it was coming from. It turned out that all the time the little apple-shaped creatures had been at the farm and had helped her spouse! Kind spirits, how wonderful! And they like raisins? Oh, she sure has a treat for her new forest friends!

Huh, when Leah mentioned that Stardew Valley is "full of magic," she meant that it's full of inspiration for her future works, not literally... Oh, well. Yes, strange little creatures live with her and Farmer, so what? They're cute, kind, and hard-working. Great neighbours (not like she had when she lived in the Zuzu City).

Olivia thought all week that there were a bunch of mice running around the farm, stealing the ripe wheat. After expressing their fears to Farmer that their crops might be destroyed by pests, Farmer showed their wife that it wasn't mice, but little helpers, Junimos, who live there. ...She need a glass of wine. Maybe two.

"Oh, do you see them too, dear?" To be honest, Claire would rather not see them. Not that she minded the cute, erm, creatures, just... Eh, you know what? Why should she be surprised at all? There are so many unusual things and creatures (golden chickens, slimes) on her spouse's farm that there's no point in her being surprised.

Sophia was stuck somewhere between the "Adorable lil apples!" and "Eeeeep! What is that?!" when she saw her spouse surrounded by a dozen magical Junimos. The pink-haired girl floods Farmer with questions and tries to take pictures of the forest creatures on her phone, to show Scarlett (only they've scattered now, awww!)

_________________________________________

[pennyblossom-meta]

If L ever had a lover/soulmate and was discovered by Light, what countermeasures might L do?

Thank you for the question, dear anon!

This one's a really interesting one and I had to do some research in order to give you a well rounded response based on canon (mostly the manga, but also with a dash of extended DN lore). I'll add my own conclusions on the specific lover/soulmate case as we go.

I'll preface this analysis by saying that, if we take Spiraling Trap into account, then L's lover would be of extreme importance to them, if not the most important person in L's life — perhaps even above Watari. One of his sweetest quotes from the dating sim actually alludes to this state of mind:

For your sake… I’d think of a way to get through anything. We share a bond.

If L had a lover, he would very much be smitten. Despite all his flaws, his sometimes complicated, hyper-focused behaviour, he would dearly cherish this bond and do everything to keep it.

It's important that we look at L's thought process here as the opposite of what he did with Kira. While L gradually de-anonymizes Light before the world, he would progressively anonymize his lover so as to keep them safe. It might not be to the degree that he made himself to be a ghost, a letter on a screen, but it would be a pretty thorough process to minimise any fallout.

Now, L would take his lover's safety as a constant, high priority task. I imagine he'd be paranoid to the point that he would often run hypothetical scenarios where he'd assume the role of a criminal and try to find information about his lover.

These would range from medical records to high school grades, primary school pictures, etc. He would know exactly what kind of data about his lover was available to the public — and where to find it, in digital or physical form. Do they have family? Pets? Friends that could be tracked or paid to talk? He'd be on top of all this and investigate it through the several angles of cryptography and computer security.

When the Kira case starts gaining prominence, I imagine he would take the utmost care to delete all sensitive information pertaining to his lover from public records, though he might keep actual medical records safely encrypted somewhere only he could access. As for records stored at, say, school, in physical form — like a CD — he would likely have Watari steal them so they could be destroyed. I don't believe he would ask anyone other than Watari for this task, as that could raise unwelcome questions from a third party.

L's greatest fear would be that Kira might kill his lover. Given how secretive he is, perhaps the only way that Light might gain access to such information would be if L allowed his lover to accompany him during the case. Just like L protects Watari, Aiber and Wedy's identity, he would likely never introduce his lover as his actual lover; rather, he would make up a fake name for them and a role. I also imagine he would struggle with the decision of bringing them along and might've acquiesced because a) he wants them nearby or b) they've left him no choice because they want to keep L safe (and be supportive in whatever way they can, depending on their background and profession).

So, in this scenario (manga, again), Light would need to meet L's lover sometime between the months April-November 2004 and figure out who they really are. It would almost give L a heart attack (pun intended); he would blame himself for his recklessness, backtrack every move, run scenarios to make sure Light couldn't find anything to kill them. After Rem appears, L would absolutely forbid them from being near Misa.

Beyond this, there isn't much that L could do at this point. Short of bringing Kira to justice, the most he can do is prevent his lover's personal information from being handed to Light on a silver platter. He may remove his lover from the case entirely if they were discovered, though. But he would definitely plot to cut any loose ends that'd bring Light straight to their lover's private sphere.

There's also a chance that Light would kidnap L's lover and torture them for information, but it's highly unlikely.

However, I'd like to ask the following question: what does L do to protect himself and those closest to him in canon?

01: There are no photos or images of L anywhere, especially at To-Ho

From: Chapter 28 - Judgment

One of the things that immediately jumps to attention is how secretive (and well prepared) L is under any scenario. During this particular moment in the main story, we witness L's caution when it comes to allowing others to keep any photos or video records related to him, going as far as instructing the Task Force to destroy all photos of themselves. In essence, he wants them to erase any and all images that can lead to the Second Kira identifying them to avoid their murders. Their digital footprint or social media (what was even Japan's version of MySpace in 2004?) should be gone as a security measure.

We also discover that L goes to the trouble of deactivating the security cameras at the hotels he's at so they don't capture his image. It's a huge stretch, but a necessary evil when you're L, the world's greatest detective, always one step away from being killed by criminals.

What about L's love interest/soulmate?

As mentioned before, L would make sure that his lover's information would be hidden or removed from public access. This would give him a head start to protect them from Light (and Misa), as the only way they'd be able to get the lover's name would be through the Shinigami Eyes or by parting with the information voluntarily (like Naomi Misora did).

Like L, they would also not have their image recorded when moving around hotels. I can imagine that they would also leave through the hotel garage or back door in order to avoid bumping into undesirable individuals.

02: Watari, Aiber and Wedy are anonymized — until L's death (and Watari's)

From: Chapter 59 - Zero

Arguably, one of L's biggest mistakes towards Aiber and Wedy was leaving their personal information available for the Task Force in case he died. I assume that the "All data deletion" protocol was solely regarding the case itself, and that there were branches of information that Light acquired after L's death which were not meant to be seen aside from himself.

There might've been other criminals whom associated with L that Light killed. My educated guess is that L would've been more careful with his lover's personal information and had it deleted along with crucial data about the case. In case he died and they lived, he would've taken that precaution. Both Near and Mello also have no photographs of themselves available at Wammy's (or in any record).

03: And as a small bonus of L caring about his associates...

From: Chapter 43 - Black

Utilitarian L may be, but he's not a robot devoid of feelings. He does care about his associates and seems to be on good terms with Aiber. With how careful he is those who work for him, I'm positive he would climb mountains to keep his lover safe from harm — especially if danger came in the shape of Light.

Hope this answered your question somewhat!

[fatuismooches]

natalis numerus ???

synopsis: Year after year, your birthday comes around without fail. Dottore celebrates with you, as best as a man like him can anyway. (His clones too, of course.)

includes: dottore w/ gn! reader

notes: This is really just a pure fluff fic. Both Reader and Dottore are unhinged as usual. Dottore also creates headphones for you. There is a lot of kissing at the end. Thank you to 🎐 anon for inspiring some of the ideas in this fic <3.

It was your birthday today. 

To be more exact, it was your- actually, your exact age would give anyone a start since your youthful appearance was a stark contrast, so it was best to keep it a secret. 

After living for hundreds of years, one would probably get tired of celebrating birthdays. You could understand this sentiment of course. Sometimes, at the end of it all, when your special day was coming to a close, you wondered if the next birthday would be any different. If perhaps your life and health would be any different. If you’d be able to run around and spend your birthday a bit differently. You never asked for anything for your birthday (besides kisses from Dottore) but inside, your only wish was to be cured of illness.

Though you preferred to focus on the happy aspect of your birthday. Hell, not many could claim to live as long as you had, much less had as many sweet birthdays as you had. You were pampered to the best possible extent that a group of insane madmen could achieve, meaning you never failed to receive a ‘Happy birthday, [Name]’ from every single clone that resided in Dottore’s lab. You were presented with your favorite foods throughout the day that you’d been longing to try, to which the clones were eager to hear your feedback (your answer decides whether the current cook keeps their life or not.) Not to mention there was usually no screaming throughout the lab on this particular day. How thoughtful of them!

You even had the pleasure of receiving a present from your dear husband. Though gift-giving was far from Dottore’s expertise, he always seemed to come up with something. Knick-knacks, trinkets, novelties, rarities, curios… sometimes they were brought, but many times they were handmade by the Harbinger himself. A multicolored, six-sided cube. A strange rectangular device that allowed you to communicate with him from a certain distance (still in the wonky prototype stage). A workbook with a compilation of brain teasers (many morally questionable) that he created over the last year. You’re not sure if Pantalone has realized that the extra materials he brought were for you rather than his research.

Mortals may view how you spent your birthday as simple. Though you liked to keep your birthdays simple now. Simply receiving good wishes and lovestruck looks from the clones was enough for you. More importantly, spending time with your beloved Zandik always proved to be the highlight of your birthday. Not many immortals could claim to have the person who was at their side from the very beginning still with them. But you could, which made you happy.

Dottore himself had long stopped caring about the day of his own birth, he never cared about it even when you two were students at the Akademiya. But it was still a special day for you, it was the day your lover came into this world. Your life would be rather drab without him. So naturally you had a tradition of (lovingly) attacking Zandik at 12 AM sharp (he was always awake anyway) and forcibly dragging him to bed, under the premise that one should not be sleep deprived on their birthday. You made sure to serve him his favorite food, gift him anything he seemed interested in (you learned how to buy illegal items just for him secretly), and be at his beck and call. He never cared about his birthdays, but you liked to think you made them slightly more valuable for him. Naturally, he never cared about the birthdays of other people either. That was until you forced yourself into his life, and he supposed one as useful as yourself was worthy of slight appreciation. 

But that was when you two were at the Akademiya. It was different now. Very different. You could no longer do the things you were able to. Your illness had… actually, today should be a happy day. You shouldn’t dwell on sad things. Hopefully, your aches and pains would leave you if only for a mere twenty-four hours.

As you stared at the ceiling, slowly shaking off the sleepy daze you were in, you wondered which clone would be the first to wish you. It had become somewhat of a tradition for the clones to decide amongst themselves who had the privilege of seeing you first and uttering the two important words. It would happen every year, and once a segment won they would be removed from the process until every single segment could see you first, and then it would start all over again. It was kind of funny.

You remember the first time you found out that they actually fought over who got to assist and greet you first on your birthday. To resolve these conflicts, they would enter competitions between each other - who could dissect the most amount of bodies, or dispose of the most corpses in a timely manner… You know, usual Dottore-centric stuff. Which, you didn’t really care, but after you saw how they were quite literally working nonstop, you decided to suggest a more relaxed option - duking it out in a game of TCG instead. It proved to be useful as long as you ignore the few times Prime scolded them for getting too heated.

At the end of your reminiscence, you sat up and rubbed your eyes. As you freed yourself from the soft blankets wrapping your body and swung your legs to the edge of the bed, you tried to remember which clones were candidates for this year.

Knock-knock.

Ah, looks like he was right on time.

“[Name], are you awake?” The voice from beyond the door was higher pitched than the usual deep tone you were accustomed to. You smiled as you instantly knew who it was.

“Yes, I- oh!” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before the door slammed open and a little boy shot straight into your chest, catching you off guard. It turns out that the child segment of Dottore was the first one to greet you on your special day. His tiny hands grabbed your own and he smiled an adorable toothed smile.

“Happy birthday, [Name]!”

“Why, thank you little one! That’s very sweet of you,” You hoisted the little clone to sit in your lap and he gave you a hug, which you reciprocated and giggled at his childishness. He was such a cutie.

“So many of your birthdays have gone by! How old are you now, [Name]?” He tilted his head curiously and you laughed at his question. Indeed, so many centuries of birthdays had flown by in the blink of an eye.

“Well-” Before you could respond, another voice entered the conversation.

“It’s inappropriate to ask [Name] that, little brat,” an adult segment of Dottore now stood at the doorway, rolling his eyes at the young clone, to which the child pouted and stared daggers at the other man.

“That’s not true,” the youth in your arms clung to you more, “They enjoy it when I’m inquisitive,” the boy said, repeating your words from long ago.

“Yes, yes, that’s nice, now get off of them so they can get started with their day,” the clone replied but the child stuck out his tongue defiantly and tightened his hug.

“No, I won’t.” You could see that the noncompliant response was about to send the other segment into a fit so you quickly intervened. 

“Say, why don’t you go and try to guess how old I am? If you’re right, I’ll read your favorite story to you again,” you beamed at the young boy on your lap, playfully booping his nose. Regardless of whether the kid was right or not, you were going to read him the story anyway. He was always the most attentive and engaged listener.

“Hmm…” The boy was sad to leave you, as you were the only adult he liked being around. But he understood, and the idea of you reading to him again was appealing. “Alright, I will. I promise to get it right!” With that he bounded off your lap and dashed out of the room, not before sending another dirty look at the older clone, who tried not to react, instead focusing on you.

“How do you feel today?” The segment inquired, needing to note down every possible change in your condition. He offered you his hand for support which you took, pulling you to your feet. “Any pains? Changes?”

“No, not really. In fact, I think I feel better today than usual. Or maybe I’m imagining it,” you hummed in response. Maybe it was the birthday happiness clouding your mind.

“Understood.” He recorded your statement in his head. “Happy birthday, by the way,” the segment mentioned nonchalantly. This segment was from when Dottore was horrible at expressing any positive emotions or words to you, and if he somehow managed to, it sounded very bland. But you found it hilarious, poking his cheek to which he then sent you a half-hearted glare of annoyance and flustered embarrassment.

“Thank you. I’m proud of you for getting that out of your system,” you teased, to which the clone scoffed at your antics, but couldn’t be mad at you for them.

“Whatever. Let’s get you ready,” he huffed and you happily complied. 

—

As you expected, as soon as you entered the lab, practically everyone’s neck snapped to you. Numerous birthday wishes were sent your way, each with a maniacal toothy grin to go along with it. There was no way any of them could forget, especially when they were fighting over who got to do what inside of their own heads for days before your birthday. Some of the clones had the pleasure of feeding you, while another fixed your hair… one even gave you a massage. After all, the birthday person deserves to be pampered, no? And these were the same segments whose faces were terribly familiar, having been by your side for centuries for all the past birthdays. They knew what you liked, and it was awfully enjoyable.

But there was still one more person to see. The most important one. Zandik.

Normal people would probably think it was crazy for your lover to be the last one to wish you a happy birthday. But for you, you thought it was perfect. You spent some time with the clones so they wouldn’t feel left out, and then for the rest of the day, they knew to leave you in solitude with their creator. No distractions or interruptions with your Zandik. Besides, after all-

They always say to save the best for last, don’t they?

—

You didn’t even need to knock on the door to Zandik’s private lab as it was already open. He was expecting you. Zandik’s back was facing you when you walked in, but he realized your presence immediately and set the vial down to greet you.

“[Name],” the emotionless expression on his face morphed into an enlivened one, his pointy teeth flashing. “Earlier than I expected.” Strangely colored liquids and concoctions were scattered over the table. You think you interrupted him while he was making medicine, but he didn’t seem to care. His attention was now turned to the multitude of drawers where various items were stored, opening them and then shutting them, appearing to look for something.

“It is I,” you smiled back at him, “and what can I say? I just wanted to see you. Not to mention, I must say I’m curious as to what crazy invention you’ve thought up for me this year. It seems you never run out of ideas.” Zandik had always liked to present his little gift at the start. Despite how he acted as if it was no big deal and not very important, he was always intrigued to see your reaction.

Though this time you had an inkling of what it was going to be. A while ago, he had asked to borrow your beloved device for playing music using Radiant Spincrystals (which you had named “Music Thing” much to his amusement.) 

There were other furnishings that could be used for playing Radiant Spincrystals, but you had no need for them. After all, Zandik’s own creations always surpassed the other ones. Unlike the one from Liyue, the one he had made for you was much more portable and light, so that even you could carry it around. There were even buttons that changed the volume of the music! So you assumed that he was going to make some more changes or adjustments to Music Thing.

“That is correct. But I believe you’ll find this year’s gift especially useful. Watch.” As you thought, he revealed your Music Thing and a sole Radiant Spincrystal. Zandik inserted a Spincrystal into the device, yet no sound emitted from it, which left you a bit confused.

“But nothing’s playing.” 

“Is that so? Why don’t you listen closer?” He smirked at you and motioned you to come closer, which you did, and then realized there was now something plugged into the device. It was a wire that led to something much larger.

The large gadget was oddly shaped. The top of it was like a band that curved into two circles on both ends, which looked like it was padded with something soft. Regardless, you had never seen anything like it and you had no idea what it could be used for. You were very confused but then you realized you could hear the music from the Radiant Spincrystal playing from the apparatus.

“Huh…? I can hear the music coming from this thingy!” you exclaimed, picking up the weird item and bringing it closer to your face, examining it more. Zandik’s grin only grew larger.

“Put it on,” he encouraged, he himself excited to see the results of his multi-hour project.

“Put it on? How though?” You fumbled with the device and pushed the two circle things apart, bringing them to your ears. And then you were immediately entranced by the music coming from it. You felt Zandik adjust the instrument for the top part to rest on top of your head.

“A perfect fit, as I expected,” he hummed, taking a good look at you. Indeed, he was correct. The thing that still didn’t have a name fit snugly around your head and ears. But you were far more entranced and shocked by the loud music going straight into your eardrums. Instead of having the music play openly, it was going straight to you. And better yet, only you could hear it! You pushed the things covering your ears even closer in amazement, standing there for a good few minutes simply enjoying this delight.

Until it abruptly stopped.

You looked down and realized that the wire that connected this thing to your Music Thing device was unplugged. By Zandik.

“Hey! It was just getting to the good part!” You pouted.

“I’m sure it was my dear, but you don’t want to hurt your ears by putting it too close or too loud,” he chided. For such a deranged man he was always taking precautions when it came to you because of your health.

“Alright fine… but you have to tell me what it is? How does it even work!” Something better than listening to music was listening to your husband go on about his experiments and inventions and thought processes.

Zandik then picked you up with ease making you squeal with surprise, walking over to his paperwork chair and then placing you on his lap. Ah, he properly didn’t want you to stand for too long. Though he wouldn’t say that. You made yourself comfortable, resting your head on his chest as he rambled on.

“I merely redirected where the sound travels…” Just as you wanted, he delved into an explanation of what he did to make the gadget, what parts he used, the few complications, the easy parts, everything. And you enjoyed it thoroughly. 

“It is truly incredible,” you commented at the end, still thinking about how easily bendable and comfortable the mechanism was. “Does this one have a name?”

“I know.” You didn’t even care that he was being smug about it. You loved it. “And no, it does not.” For some reason, he always left the naming up to you. You wondered why.

“Hmm… I dub thee… Headcircles!” You decided, and Zandik raised an eyebrow at your questionable name. “You know, because it goes on your head, and the two things at your ear look like circles!” You were rather proud of your genius name.

“Another fascinating name,” he remarked to which you playfully hit his shoulder.

“Would it kill you to be nice? On my birthday at least?” You giggled, not actually meaning it. You loved him like this.

“I am unsure as to what you mean. I truly find your names… creative,” he stated with a horrible grin on his face. “It’s why I kept you as my assistant.”

You narrowed your eyes and wrapped your arms around him. “So you kept me around for my naming ability? Not for my impeccable organizational skill? Nor my expertise in deciphering your terrible handwriting and scribbles?” 

“I do acknowledge that you possess many exceptional traits, but after all, how can I forget when you named the first Ruin Guard we dissected together? Spinny Thingy? How truly outstanding.” He mocked you with no remorse to which you immediately groaned at the mention of that name. You still remember that day vividly - you both had found a nonfunctional Ruin Guard in the wild which you two had fun dismantling, and Zandik had called it No. 7 in his notes. But you found that far too boring and recommended “Spinny Thingy” because you know, the thing spins! The look he gave you after that made you want to crawl into a hole though. (He didn’t take you up on your proposal.)

“Oh, shush you,” you muttered, a bit embarrassed at the memory. Zandik chuckled and wrapped an arm around you to support you, and a comfortable silence fell over the two of you as he began to sign and look over some paperwork. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest too, something that was strangely soothing. You could almost fall asleep… ah, you need to thank him first though!

“By the way, thank you for the gift, Zandik.”

“It was nothing,” he replied, waving off your gratitude. For one, it was actually no big deal to him, as little inventions like this were of practically no difficulty to him. Yet deep down, the scientist knows that the ultimate gift would be to free you of the suffering your sickness causes. Yet the mighty doctor has yet to find a solution to that. But you looked so content right now, he could put it to the side just for a little bit. Especially since you looked like you were about to beg for kisses with those eyes.

He was right.

You first started off with one simple kiss on the cheek, and then another on the other side. Yet Zandik continued to write, ignoring you on purpose to rile you up. But that was no problem. It wasn’t hard to get him to pay attention to you. Your hands slithered up to his shoulders for balance, and immediately you went to work, placing a kiss on his bare neck, and then two, and then three, your breath fanning against his skin.

Still no reaction. 

Well, good thing you had an easy solution to this. On your fourth kiss, you bit down, intent on leaving a mark so-

“[Name],” a deep voice echoed close to your ear as the pen dropped to the table, and you knew you had him. Because for some reason it was okay to litter you with bites but you couldn’t do it to him. Nevertheless, you stopped and instead smiled against his neck to declare your victory which you knew he felt as he sighed. But, Zandik knew, you did deserve something today out of all days. And so you received the same treatment, attacking your neck with far more force than you did, causing you to let out a gasp. But it felt good. Zandik’s kisses always felt good, you thought as he now moved upwards.

“Happy birthday, [Name],” Zandik whispered so quietly, that you wouldn’t hear him if you weren’t so close to him, his pointy teeth grazing and nibbling on the shell of your ear.

Zandik saying those words always felt somewhat surreal. You still clearly remember the first ‘happy birthday’ you received centuries ago as a student. You thought him shoving a gift into your chest and telling you that you had the day off would be all you received. You genuinely did not think he’d verbally say that, considering he never knew how to form his words when it came to things like this, much less in a polite manner. Nonetheless, it made your heart soar.

You smiled against his neck, humming a wordless thank you, as your hand snaked up to his cheek and fingered the edge of his mask, silently asking for permission which he granted. Looking straight at him, you removed the mask and let it clatter on the ground, far too occupied with the handsome sight in front of you. His eyes were the most brightest and brilliant shade of red that you adored, coupled with jagged scars that ran across the top half of his face. So handsome. All yours.

“You always do this,” Zandik let out a resigned sigh, eyes rolling although he kept a firm grip on you on his lap. He had worn the mask for so long, that the rare times he took it off in front of you proved somewhat of a challenge at first due to your ceaseless stares of love despite the scars. Though now he had grown used to it. You merely giggled.

“Do what?” You feigned obliviousness. “I’m simply appreciating my husband’s face,” you shrugged nonchalantly, to which he kept his cool gaze on you.

“Is that all? Is there anything else you intend to do?” He questioned, already fully aware of what your answer would be.

“Why, thank you for asking. In fact, I intend to take advantage of my other birthday gift as well,” you purred, eyes raking down his face to his exposed neck shamelessly. Zandik was not wearing his usual layers of clothes, only his collared blue shirt along with the harness that wrapped around his body. It was your birthday, so surely you could get away with some things, you thought. You mischievously hooked a finger around the harness near his chest, pulled it, and watched it snap back with amusement. Zandik’s eyes bore a hole through you the whole time before he spoke.

“Such a greedy little thing you are… do you truly think it’ll be that easy?” He clicked his tongue in pretend exasperation and annoyance at your audaciousness, leaning into you as he kept contact with your eyes. His own was a mixture of insanity and madness, yet love and possessiveness swirled around as well, almost hypnotizing you. You wished you could see his eyes more. With the right touch, they could be so expressive, just for you of course.

“Well, you know I’ve never lost a fight. Remind me, who was the one dragging the unwilling test subjects to you, and protecting you from the Ruin Machines you accidentally set off back then?” You smirked and licked your lips, not intimidated by his little challenge. “Even now, I’d say I’m still quite something, no?” You always enjoyed every second of being bold to Zandik. Something about having such a deadly man bending to your wishes really did something to you.

His eyes narrowed at your confidence as an amused grin appeared on his face. “I have to say, your analysis is rather correct, as expected from you. You truly are something special, unique… although this may be the first battle you lose. I won’t let you have your way simply because it’s your birthday, love.”

“I guess I’ll just have to take my gift by force then… how rude of you,” you playfully teased, hands resting securely on his shoulders as his own began to dig into your thighs. “Usually, I’d take my time, but today I’m impatient,” you murmured, voice dropping to a low tone as you captured his lips with yours, eagerly deepening the kiss which Zandik reciprocated.

“No need to rush, [Name]. You should know that the best experiments are conducted with time and patience. I’m looking forward to seeing the results myself.”

One may say that this was quite an average birthday. It was nothing like a typical birthday. And they would be right. Yet Zandik does not treat you like how an average, normal lover would. He was eccentric, from the way he spoke to his actions to his hobbies. But you could always say this without hesitation. 

Another birthday was well spent in your mad doctor’s loving arms.

Bonus:

“By the way, I left some cake for you.”

“I do not want it.”

“… Yes you do. I’ve known you for centuries, trying to hide your likes from me isn’t very effective, you know?

“Go to sleep.”

“Please, can I feed it to you this time?”

“No.”

“You know I’m going to keep asking this every year, right?”

“I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”

“Wait- come back! I’m sorry!”

The plate was empty the next day.

[mingtinysworld]

Show him

Pairing: mommy!hwa x maid!reader x sub!yeosang

Genre: smut, fluff

Word count: 5.7k

Summary: You are a maid to Seonghwa and his boyfriend Yeosang. You’re offered something that you cannot decline, giving you an opportunity to explore your crush further

Warnings: MDNI, mommy kink, switch reader, voyeurism, threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it up), oral (f/m receiving), fingering, squirting, riding, nipple sucking, hickeys, some hip slaps, masturbation

A/n: sooo thank you to that anon who requested this. I hope that this did justice to your thoughts and I enjoyed writing it a lot a lot. I really hope you enjoy the writing, please like, comment and reblog!! ily - J

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Being the maid of Park Seonghwa was quite the interesting experience. He differed from the other wealthy people you’ve come across at his giant mansion parties.

Unlike those snobby, high and mighty individuals, Seonghwa is a very considerate man. He loves to take care of everyone living in his household. From the maids, the cooks, to the gardeners, and of course, his boyfriend Yeosang.

The contrast betweeen Seonghwa and Yeosang is very prominent. Seonghwa has a dark and feminine aura, whereas Yeosang is so pure and bright but they somehow complete each other very well.

Seonghwa takes on an almost nurturing role in the relationship. Yeosang works out every day and has a strong physique, but that does nothing to conceal his innocence and needing help from Seonghwa.

You are exposed to them almost constantly due to always having to clean the place. Your heart constricts whenever you see their intimate moments. You long for what they have together, secretly sporting a crush on the beautiful Seonghwa.

Whenever you stumble across the couple, you do your best to avert your gaze just to give them privacy. You freeze for a few seconds and then quietly slink away in the opposite direction.

You convince yourself that you do really well with hiding your feelings for Seonghwa. You make sure to take deep breaths before speaking, not making the eye contact too long or too short, and never letting your true thoughts come to the surface ever.

Seonghwa, however, is much more observant than what you give him credit for. He notices your stolen glances when you think he’s not looking. He sees your eyes widen when his lips meet with Yeosang’s. He sees you swallow nervously when he’s standing just a bit too close to you.

He notices all of this, hence the reason why he’s made it his mission to fluster you as much as possible. He calls you into his room for assistance quite often, under the guise of needing food or new towels. His newest idea was making him quiver with excitement.

“Y/n!!”

You hear his voice calling you from upstairs and you immediately go to him. You knock twice to alert him you’re there and walk in. You expect to find him at his desk or bed, but he’s at neither place.

“Sir? Are you here?” You question.

You start walking towards his closet, thinking he might be in there. It is quite a big space after all. You hear a click of a door behind you and turn around hastily. The sight stops you in your tracks.

There stands Seonghwa in all his mighty glory. His hair is wet and tousled from his shower, droplets of water sliding down his toned body. His towel is barely hanging on for dear life and it takes everything in you to only look into his eyes.

“So s-sorry Sir, I didn’t- what can I do for you?” You stutter out pathetically.

He grins triumphantly and steps closer. “I hate to ask this of you, but I’m having trouble reaching my back to put on my lotion. Do you think you could help me out?” He sends a fake pout your way and your heart stops.

“S-sure, I can do that for you Sir.” He hands you his coconut scented lotion and faces away from you. You steady your trembling hands and squeeze out a considerable amount of lotion onto him. As you begin to massage his skin, you feel faint. Not once have you dared to be this close to him, let alone touch him. His skin feels so warm to the touch, contrasting your cold, nervous hands. Your heartbeat is so loud that you fear he might be able to hear it.

As the lotion is completely absorbed, you quickly step back as if you’ve been burned by him. Perhaps you did, because your whole body feels like lava. You look down to where your hands are clasped together and breathe.

“Anything else I can do for you?” You say quietly.

“That is all. Thank you for your help Y/n, always appreciated.” He gives you a smile, a sparkle in his dark eyes.

You give him a little bow and turn to leave. As you close the door behind you, you let out a breath you were holding. Clutching your sweater, you make it down to the kitchen to get a glass of water. You gulp down the water, and realize it’s not enough to calm your pounding heart. You decide to go for a quick walk around the garden.

This should not be affecting you so much. He’s your boss, you can’t be feeling like this. Most importantly, he’s taken. Never in a million years would he look upon you as anything other than someone who gets things done for him.

You pace back and forth, needing to clear your head. After a few more minutes, you head back inside, completely missing Seonghwa’s head poking out from the curtain, watching you with gleeful eyes. His eyes darken with an unquenchable desire and his mind starts plotting.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You wake up with a panic, realizing you slept through your alarm. Reaching for your clock, you read that it’s 8:45am. Immediately, you jump out of bed and throw on whatever clothing you can find, not even paying attention. Your usual wake up time is supposed to be 7:30, in order to have enough time to prepare breakfast and Seonghwa’s schedule for the day.

You run down the stairs like someone is after you, sliding into the kitchen frantically. As you do, you see Seonghwa already occupying the space. He turns around at the noise and greets you with a warm smile.

“Good morning Y/n! I decided to take initiative on breakfast this morning for a change. I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to let you sleep in, so don’t worry about the food.” You take in the apron folded at his hips, and the spatula mixing the eggs. You take a seat on one of the stools, feeling dazed.

Seonghwa has never made breakfast before. You’re curious about how it will turn out, and unable to deny how attractive he looks while cooking. You rest your face in your hands and watch Seonghwa with a fascinated look.

A rumbly voice startles you out of your daydream. Yeosang walks in, with his fluffy robe covering his body. He greets Seonghwa with an angelic smile, leaning in for a quick peck against his lips. Seonghwa mumbles a ‘hello love’ and gets back to the task at hand.

Yeosang slides into the stool next to you, waving at you shyly. You wave back awkwardly, not exactly sure how you should be acting. The dynamic feels so strange, and you feel wrong for sitting down instead of working. However, you choose to enjoy the moment while you can.

Soon, Seonghwa is finished with the whole meal. He sets up the plates, forks, and cups and denies your help when you offer. You patiently wait to start eating until they do, but they don’t seem to care.

“Alright, let’s dig in.” Seonghwa announces.

You slowly pick up your fork, still feeling hesitant. You think it might be a joke, but you start eating anyways. Surprisingly, the food tastes amazing. You’ve learned another thing about Seonghwa. He’s a pretty decent cook.

No one speaks, but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Instead, you savor the silence along with the breakfast. Finishing, you stand up to gather everyone’s plates, placing them in the dishwasher.

“Thank you Sir, for the breakfast. It was very delicious.”

“My pleasure Y/n. I figured I should do something new for once, instead of letting you do all the work.” You are quick to shake your head in dismissal, signaling that you don’t mind.

Him and Yeosang stand up, stretching slightly. “Ok, I think we’re gonna get started on our days now. Have a wonderful day dear.”

You give a curt nod, fighting a blush. What is happening to you? It feels so much harder to stay nonchalant. You head back to your duties for the rest of the morning and afternoon, having the most jumbled thoughts floating in your head.

As it nears the evening, everything slows down. Both Seonghwa and Yeosang come back from work, and plop down onto the couch, letting out drawn out sighs. It seems as if they had an exhausting day. You steep some black tea, pouring it into their favorite mugs. Adding on a side of sugar, you present it to them. They accept the tea gratefully, letting the warmth heat up their tired bodies.

Once they were done with the tea, they decided to go to their room. You said goodbye, not expecting to see them for the rest of the night as it was nearing 9pm. You do some last minute chores, putting things away and cleaning up. You finally head to your room to get a good nights sleep.

As you’re walking, you realize that it’s really cold inside the house. The thermostat is all the way upstairs, and you really don’t wanna make the trip. But it’s so cold that you’re already shivering, being forced to move anyways. Trudging up the stairs, you fix the temperature, looking forward to being warm soon.

Taking a few steps forward, you stop at Seonghwa’s door. There’s muffled noises coming through, and it appears as if the door isn’t closed completely. You peek through the crack and almost moan out loud at the sight.

There, on the bed, is Seonghwa fucking Yeosang. He’s got Yeosang on his back, and him working his hips constantly. You’re not sure what you want to focus on in this moment, your brain is so overloaded and overwhelmed. First of all, you get to see Seonghwa’s bare body. It feels surreal.

Yeosang is letting out the most sinful yet angelic noises. It appears that his regular demeanor also translates into bed. He looks so pretty being destroyed by Seonghwa.

Something that surprises you is how gentle Seonghwa is being. You would think he would be an absolute beast, but he’s actually very soft. You do have to compliment him on his stamina though. He just keeps going and going.

“H-hwa, nghh I can’t-” Yeosang lightly whimpers.

At that, Seonghwa leans down until he’s face to face with Yeosang. He captures his lips and swallows all his moans. When he pulls back, he holds Yeosang’s jaw gently, so softly.

“What’s my name baby?”

“Please,” Yeosang only lets out a desperate sob.

“Answer me my love.” Seonghwa gently reminds him.

“Mommy! Mommy m-mommy please, please make me cum. I’m a good boy please.”

You let out a soft gasp without meaning to and immediately slap a hand over your mouth, hoping they didn’t notice.

Nothing goes unnoticed by Seonghwa. He smirks at you through the mirror that’s facing the door. He sees you entranced, as if you’re held down by some invisible force. He turns his attention back to Yeosang, now knowing he’s putting on a show for his beloved maid.

“You’re a good boy for Mommy, that’s right. Let Mommy take care of you, you’re alright. You’re doing so well sweetheart.” He coos lovingly at Yeosang, who has started crying softly.

Pretty tears run down his face, and Seonghwa contemplates wiping them away, but he likes knowing that he’s the reason Yeosang is crying. He reaches down to his flushed red and angry cock and starts pumping vigorously. Yeosang thrashes around, squeezing the sheets as tight as possible.

He cums with a groan, drops spurting out all over his stomach and even on Seonghwa. Seeing that took you out of your trance, realizing you need to leave right now. Seonghwa glances in the mirror and sees that you left. He wishes he knew what you were thinking.

He pulls out of Yeosang slowly, and goes to run a bath. He returns to the bed, carrying Yeosang over to the bathroom and into the soothing water. Yeosang leans his head back and lets his eyes close. Seonghwa kneels by him and brushes his soft hair away from his face. He feels sleepy himself, and fights it long enough to get Yeosang out of the bath and into his pajamas. He cuddles him close and they both drift off.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You’re fucked. After last night you weren’t able to get a wink of sleep. You couldn’t get Seonghwa and Yeosang out of your mind, how soft yet intense they were. They have a love that people can only dream of.

What has been plaguing you the most however, is Yeosang calling Seonghwa Mommy. You’re surprised but also not. He really does give off that nurturing vibe, but it was still unexpected. Experiencing that awakened something in you.

You want to call Seonghwa mommy.

You smack your head out of frustration. How can this be happening? How are you supposed to face them this morning? You dread leaving your room. You have to leave sometime though, so you take 3 quick breaths and step out.

As you approach the kitchen you can already see them there. For some odd reason, ever since that morning when Seonghwa cooked, they’ve been hanging out in the kitchen almost every morning. Usually you wouldn’t complain, but today…you’re feeling frazzled. But you paste on your smile and trudge through anyways.

“Good morning! How are you this morning?” Your voice sounds so unnaturally chipper to you, you almost grimace. They smile at you lazily, saying their greetings.

The breakfast consists of fluffy crepes, topped with strawberries, bananas, and whipped cream. You savor the taste, closing your eyes.

There’s silence yet again, but you make no haste to break it. You only focus on your plate and nothing else.

You hear a loud clearing throat and look up at the sound. You study both of their faces and the contrast. Seonghwa looks pleased, comfortable even. Yeosang, however, looks uneasy and embarrassed, a pink hue coating his soft cheeks. He looks absolutely adorable.

“Y/n, Yeosang has been wanting to tell you something for some time now.” Seonghwa speaks. “Go on baby, tell her.” He gives Yeosang an encouraging smile.

He fidgets with his rings and looks down. “I wanted to tell you that…I have a crush on you.” He says in the quietest voice. You think you’re dreaming so you have to pinch yourself, and you do. It is indeed real.

Seonghwa addresses Yeosang, prompting him further. “And? What else baby?”

“I want you to fuck me.” Yeosang looks as if he wants the ground to swallow him up.

You’re in shock. You’re not sure what to say. What does someone even say in this situation? What is the right thing?

Yes I will fuck you?

What?

Are you insane?

“I’m sorry, what?” That is the only sensible thing you can get out currently.

“Yeosang wants you to fuck him.” Seonghwa says matter of factly.

You can’t find the words to respond. You instead laugh. You laugh at how absurd this is. Seonghwa quirks an eyebrow while Yeosang shrinks into himself.

“Is something funny?” He asks.

“N-no I just- I was just so surprised. I’m not sure what to say.” You breathe out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Well, the offer is there. It’s up to you to decide. Only if you’re comfortable of course.” Seonghwa is so calm and collected, the complete opposite of you.

You contemplate for a few seconds. What would be the harm? You might as well take the opportunity that is presented to you on a platter.

You take a deep breath and give your answer. “I would like that.” You say in a quiet voice, afraid to cross any boundaries.

At your acceptance, Yeosang lets out a breath he was holding and Seonghwa gives you a bright, genuine smile. “Alright sweetheart, we will first discuss rules and boundaries. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page. Sound good?”

You nod your head yes, so thrilled yet terrified for the events that are to come. Seonghwa leads the two of you to the couch, and you all sit to discuss…sex.

After everyone is caught up on everything, Seonghwa stands up and motions to Yeosang. “Well Sangie, get to work.”

At his words Yeosang turns to you and captures your lips in his. He holds you so gently that it feels like you’re on a cloud. His lips are so plump and soft, you can’t help but sink your teeth into them. He lets out a grunt of approval, encouraging you to go further.

You can’t help but notice how nice he tastes. As you melt into his embrace, Seonghwa interrupts you two so you can go upstairs. As you go up you can barely keep your hands to yourself. It feels as if some kind of barrier has been broken and you feel a new you emerging.

The three of you file into the bedroom and your first task at hand is to strip Yeosang. You rip his shirt off and frantically go for his zipper. He helps you pull them down and you see his bulge poking through. He stands there as if he’s not sure what he should be doing. You take initiative and drop to your knees.

“Let me make you feel good.” You breathe out.

Before he can get a word out your mouth is on him. You swallow him whole, not giving you any room to breathe. Yeosang lets out a choked moan at the sensation of your warm mouth on him. You expertly bob your head with a fast rhythm, not giving him a break.

You hear his breathing get heavier and you look up to see his head thrown back. You keep going despite the ache in your jaw, so desperately needing to make him cum. You go even deeper now. His cock goes to your throat, making you tighten around him. He seemed to like that, letting out a loud groan of appreciation.

“God I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum.” Yeosang cries out. “Can I cum in your mouth?” Even through his haze he doesn’t forget his manners. You hum around him to give your permission. You go as deep as possible one last time, tears forming in your eyes from the pressure in your throat. Right after he cums with short and breathy gasps.

The warm liquid shoots into your awaiting mouth and trickles down your esophagus, blocking all form of breathing while he’s in there. There’s so much of it some dribbles out the side of your mouth, running down your chin. Yeosang takes a finger and smears it all over, making you look like a cock hungry whore. And you absolutely are.

As he pulls out you gasp for air, coughing a couple times. Your throat feels destroyed but you feel better than ever. Yeosang is about to ask if you’re ok when you jump up to your feet and kiss him once more. He can taste himself in your mouth and lets out a pleased hum. Hearing a throat clear behind you, you pull apart and turn around.

You completely forgot that Seonghwa was even in the room, being so occupied with Yeosang’s delicious cock in your mouth. Seonghwa is sitting there in the loveseat looking like a complete goddess. His see through shirt is halfway unbuttoned and showing off his beautiful chest. You just want to run a hand across his smooth skin, feeling goosebumps rise. He has his pants off just enough to have his leaking member out. He’s stroking himself very slowly, so slowly you would think he wasn’t turned on in the slightest.

Seonghwa, however, has mastered the art of patience. His heart is beating unbelievably fast, but he won’t let himself lose self control. He’s very content watching you and Yeosang.

For now.

“Keep going, don’t worry about me. Y/n you have free rein over what you decide to do with Yeosang.”

You give a nod of affirmation and turn around. You push Yeosang on the bed and straddle him. The look on his face is one you wish you could take a picture of and frame in your room. His eyes are so wide, glimmering at you in submission. You let out a quiet chuckle and give in to your hungry desires.

You lean down to lick a stripe up his neck. He tilts his head to the side, giving you more access. You add in little nibbles, and finally find his sweet spot. As you bite a little harder his hips buck up from pleasure. Displeased at his action, you put a hand around his neck, squeezing lightly.

“Do not move,” you hiss out. He closes his eyes in acceptance.

Continuing your attack on his neck, you leave deep, dark bruises with a desperate need to mark him as yours. You run your hands up and down his chest, seeing how he’s heaving up and down with heavy breaths. He lets out a small unintelligible noise.

“What was that, pretty?”

He opens his teary eyes and pouts at you. “Please, I want to be inside you.”

You grant him his wish, since he’s been such a good boy for you. You line yourself up with him and slowly sink down. His girth stretches you out immensely with a pleasurable pain. He lets out quiet whimpers as you slide down. Once you’re all the way fitted you stay still for a few moments, letting the both of you adjust to the new sensation. When he lets out a long sigh is when you start moving.

You bounce up and down, feeling every vein slide along your walls. His tip bumps against your cervix, shooting a tingle down your spine. The look of utter pleasure on his face makes you so happy, as if everything is right in the world.

Seonghwa, on the other hand, is having a hard time containing himself. He has to keep reminding himself that today is just for you and Yeosang. He’ll have you to himself some other time. He busies himself by watching your ass collide with Yeosang’s skin, making it ripple. He can’t wait to be buried in your warm cunt eventually.

Your thighs are burning from the effort, but you keep pushing through. Yeosang thrusts up weakly, eyes rolling back into his head. He grabs your hips tightly, digging his fingers in. You can tell he’s about to cum with the way he’s clenching his teeth as if he’s in pain.

He finally releases into you, and your climax also hits you hard. You fall forward onto his chest, feeling completely wiped out. You give him soft kisses along his chest, whispering praises to him as he comes down from his high.

Seonghwa gets up then, wiping away any evidence of his pleasure and grabs towels for the two beautiful humans in his bed. He gently cleans you two and climbs into bed. You’re still laid on top of Yeosang, and you stay that way. You don’t even register Seonghwa’s presence. He looks at you two with fondness, realizing that this feels totally right. He lets out a content sigh and lets himself drift off.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

As morning comes around, you wake with a slight ache in your body. Last night’s events catch up to you and you realize you’re still on top of Yeosang. Both him and Seonghwa are still asleep, looking ethereal. Yeosang has an arm draped over you, holding you tight against him. You surprise yourself by feeling so comfortable with Yeosang. Being so in charge helped your connection, and you just want to do it for the rest of your life.

You give him soft kisses along his jaw and he stirs slightly. He lets out a cute grumble and squeezes you so you’re forced to accept your fate and lay limp in his hold. Seonghwa wakes up slowly with a sleepy yawn. His eyes flutter open and he squints at you.

“You can stay here longer, I’m just going to get breakfast started,” He speaks with his raspy morning voice.

You give a hum of acknowledgment and nuzzle into Yeosang’s neck. Minutes later you can smell bacon frying, along with the clanks of the silverware. Yeosang finally wakes up and looks at you with a soft gaze. You let out a giggle and his face lights up.

“Mmmm you’re so soft and warm, I could stay here all day.” He sighs contentedly.

“We do have to go down soon though. Seonghwa is making breakfast, he’s probably almost done.”

After a minute, you both get up slowly. That’s when you remember you’re both still naked. A blush spreads across your face and you speed walk to your room to get your clothes back on.

When you step out Yeosang is there waiting for you. He has put on his clothes and is looking so shy. He reaches for your hand and you stiffen at the action. For some reason, this felt so incredibly intimate even though he was inside you hours prior.

You’re not sure where the boundaries lie. You only discussed the sexual aspect, nothing was said about outside of the bedroom. He notices your discomfort and gives a squeeze.

“It’s alright, don’t worry.” It’s as if he can read your mind. His words calm you and you start walking downstairs where Seonghwa is.

Seonghwa sees you coming down and his eyes glance down to your intertwined hands. His jaw involuntarily clenches with possession. Not for Yeosang though. For you.

After last night he can’t get the image of you on top of Yeosang out of his head. He wanted to snatch you away from him and pound you into the mattress until you can’t breathe.

As soon as everyone’s seated you all start to eat. Seonghwa making the breakfast almost every day is a pleasant and welcomed change. It was a little strange at first, making you feel weird, but now it almost feels like you’re a family. You look up and make eye contact with Seonghwa, not expecting to see his fiery gaze.

His eyes are darkened, looking at you with an unreadable expression. Your heart sinks, thinking he’s angry at you and last night was only a mistake. You look down at your hands timidly, head hanging low. Yeosang notices you slumped down and puts a hand on top of yours.

“Are you ok? Are you feeling sick?” Yeosang sounds like an absolute angel.

You lie and confirm that you are feeling sick. As you excuse yourself from the table, you do your best to avert your gaze from either of their deep stares.

You try to calm your beating heart. What if this was a huge mistake? What if Seonghwa was using this as a test to your loyalty? What if he fires you? So many thoughts are going through your head and you almost run straight into a wall.

You hear the clicking of high heels behind you and whip your head around to meet Seonghwa’s chest head on. He stabilizes you by holding on to your arms. You’re too afraid to speak, so you just gulp nervously. That catches his eye, he looks down at your throat, relishing in the fact that he makes you nervous.

He trails a finger from your jaw to your throat, leaving a faint red mark. Your body feels shaky, like you’re gonna go unconscious. He takes a step closer and now you’re standing chest to chest. “I love seeing you nervous.” He speaks in a quiet mumble.

You feel the arousal pooling in your underwear, and resist from rubbing your thighs together. The fear plus his proximity is driving you insane. You can’t even say anything, having swallowed all your words. You only look up at him with wide eyes. He almost moans at the sight of your doe eyes, eyelashes fluttering urgently.

He runs out of patience and slams his lips against yours. You let out a squeak of surprise. It’s more of teeth clashing rather than lips but it’s welcomed nonetheless. His intensity takes you aback. It feels so urgent, so animalistic. He swipes his tongue across your top lip and leaves a mess of saliva lingering. He leads you towards his room once again, slamming the door behind him.

He attacks your face once again, unbalancing you. You fall back on the bed and he takes his place above you. You raise your hands to pull himself to you but he grabs your wrists in one hand and pins them above. You squirm in resistance but he pinches your thigh and you let out a whimper.

“Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” His voice is filled with breathy lust.

“Yes mommy, I’m gonna be your good girl.” You don’t know what takes over you in that moment, but you have to get it out.

His eyes darken significantly and he lets out a noise that sounds like a growl. He drops down and sucks deep bruises into your neck and collarbone. The sensation makes you feel dizzy with pleasure, almost bordering on painful. He takes off your top hastily and doesn’t hesitate to latch his mouth onto your pointed nipple. You let out a soft gasp as he nibbles on one and pinches the other. You can feel his hardness rutting against your thigh and you can’t help a shiver going through your body at the thought of finally having him buried inside you.

He leaves feather light kisses down your tummy and his switch up keeps giving you whiplash. One moment he’s so aggressive and intense and the next he is so soft. He pulls down your pants along with your panties and groans at the sight.

“That’s right, you’re mommy’s good girl right? Now stay still or you’re not getting my cock.”

He slides a finger through your wetness, gathering your slick and smearing it across your thighs. It seems as if his goal is to make you look like a complete slut, which he is succeeding at. He pushes in one finger experimentally, eagerly awaiting for your reaction. You do not disappoint. You let out a broken moan and arch your back, digging his finger deeper into you. He adds a second finger, and starts moving them violently. He immediately hits your sweet spot which makes you sputter out curses.

He watches your face intently, admiring the furrow in your eyebrows, your tightly shut eyes, and your parted lips. You’re trying your hardest to not squirm around but his fingers are so deep in you that nothing even works in your brain. He keeps hitting that spongy spot inside and you feel a tightening sensation in your stomach. Your hips jerk up and completely drench Seonghwa’s hand. He gasps in delight as you let out a strangle cry.

Your eyes widen in horror as you realize what you’ve done. You expect to find disgust in Seonghwa’s eyes, but instead his hunger has only seemed to intensify. He dives into your cunt without a delay, tongue eagerly lapping up everything you’ve got to offer. He finally releases your hands and they fly to his long locks of hair, bringing him as close as humanly possible.

He hums against you, the vibration making you leak even more. Feeling the coil tighten up once more you pull on his hair. “Seonghwa! I-I’m going to-” At your words he removes himself from you completely. You whine at the loss of your orgasm and buck your hips frustratedly.

He holds you down and gives you a stern look. “Baby, mommy is taking care of you, trust me.” You nod your head dejectedly and await his next move. Thinking he’s going to fill you with his cock next, he turns away from you.

“Yeosang you don’t have to keep listening through the door like a creep. Come on in and watch.”

You turn wide eyes to the door as Yeosang enters with his head hanging low. His pants are unbuttoned and his cock is standing tall, flushed red like a dark cherry. Your mouth waters at the sight and you want to have him in your mouth once more. He walks closer and while you’re distracted with the ethereal being that he is, Seonghwa slams his hips against yours.

You jolt up with a sudden shriek. He’s ramming into you with a force that steals all the oxygen in your lungs. The sound of your skin slapping fills the room and only heavy breathing is heard. While your head is thrown back with pleasure, you feel a nudge against your lips. You open your eyes and are met with Yeosang right in front of you.

He’s begging you with his eyes and you cannot refuse him. You open your mouth as wide as it can go and immediately Yeosang fills it up. He doesn’t go as deep as last time, he takes his time. You’re grateful for it because Seonghwa is taking no mercy on you. He’s hitting all the right spots and your vision fills with black spots. He leaves a few smacks on your hips, leaving a delicious sting behind.

With your mouth being occupied, only loud hums can be heard. Yeosang breathes heavily at the feel of your warm mouth around him. He thinks he wants to be in you every single day.

Seonghwa’s hips stutter and you can feel that he’s close. “Come on darling, let’s cum together.” He rumbles out in a raspy voice. To stimulate you further he brings two fingers to your sensitive bundle of nerves. You writhe in both pain and pleasure, feeling your climax approaching. He pinches your clit and that’s the tipping point for you. Your thighs tremble as you cum with Seonghwa. He lets out a beautiful whine as he empties into you. Simultaneously Yeosang cums into your mouth, and you swallow his seed gratefully.

Once Yeosang pulls out of your mouth, your body goes limp. You feel absolutely drained. Seonghwa admires the mess for a few seconds before getting up to grab wet towels just like last night. He cleans you up gently while you let out soft mewls. Once he’s done he crawls up next to you and caresses your face softly. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear and gives you a sweet kiss on the tip of your nose. You smile lazily and nuzzle into his chest. He invites Yeosang to join you and you all get comfortable.

Being sandwiched between the two beautiful men is a dream come true you realize. In the year that you’ve been working for them, you would have never thought that this would happen. Seonghwa holds you close, tucking you against his chest. You can feel Yeosang behind you, having a loose grip on your waist. He gives your neck a soft kiss and lets out a deep sigh.

“I love you sangie, I love you mommy.” You murmur gently. You can’t wait to tell them that every single day from now on.

[crystallizsch]

Random Thought, please humor me.

SURPRISE: YUUSHA GAINS MAGIC (By absorbing the Magic around her & dealing with Overblots)! Even better, she doesn't need a Mage Stone to control it! What would Yuusha's Unique Magic be & how does she use it? How would Jamil react?

"Magic makes people feel too powerful. Too entitled."

"That is not what magic does. That's just your fear. Fear is what can't be trusted."

HELPPP anon your random thought sent me down into a rabbit hole and i was hyperfixated on this for at least a WEEK 😭

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK BTW I REALLY APPRECIATE IT I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS 💕💕💕

anyways i also had an agonizing realization that yuusha is somewhat twisted elsa/anna because she has:

braid in front ✅

light-colored hair streak ✅

love interest that used her for his schemes ✅

desire to connect with people bc of years of loneliness (and emotional instability) ✅

unresolved childhood trauma in general ✅

(and probably more idk, these are the ones that stand out to me at the moment)

i haven't thought about frozen for YEARS and somehow it's still haunting me.

i have a lot of mixed feelings about this realization in general but the reason i brought this up is because i ended up basing yuusha's unique magic on frozen (not the ice powers part, but more the emotions aspect since elsa's powers work based on her emotions) while also still having aspects of yuu's own personality on it.

(also I'm sorry in advance i keep on dropping random lore about yuu and jamil's dynamic that only makes sense to myself hndsfhdsj)

I'm your friend. You don't have to hide. SHOW YOURSELF.

"Show Yourself" forces the target to say what's actually on their mind as long as she touches them. Since she's not particularly powerful and skilled with her own unique magic in the beginning, it's limited to skin-to-skin contact, and it only lasts for as long as she's touching her target.

If Yuu trained it more, it doesn't have to be skin-to-skin, just as long as she makes some kind of physical contact with her target; and it could last for as long as she wants even if she is no longer making physical contact. (But the longer she keeps it up, the more blot accumulates.) Yuusha would mostly just use her unique magic to mess with people. It'll only be rare that she chooses to use it for something serious.

To add more onto how Jamil would react to these magic shenanigans: They've both agreed on not using their unique magic on each other. To do so would be a breach of trust. (Of course there would be special exceptions but generally that's their agreement.) And since Jamil is still a scheming prick (affectionate), her "Show Yourself" unique magic would be useful. Plus, Yuu would not be against using her unique magic 99% of the time since she is also aware of the usefulness of her ability. Jamil would insist on helping Yuu out on how to use her magic because there was no way she'd get the hang of it immediately. And he knows she would refuse to ask any other (capable) magician for help.

An alternate idea that I scrapped was "Let It Go" where it's essentially Yuu telling her target to let go of their (usually negative) emotions. But those feelings can't just disappear so Yuu basically absorbs them so now it's her burden to carry instead. I scrapped it because I can't settle on how it works. (But it still had angst potential so I couldn't help but draw a bit about it anyway.)

(extra rambling below about yuusha overblot thoughts if anyone's interested hdlfhjgj)

this is a brief tangent from the original question because i also thought, "hey what if she overblotted, wouldn't that be fun"

i could see the overblot going in either two ways:

yuu accidentally hurts grim (or another friend) with her magic. she’s so distraught thinking that even with magic she can't protect those who are dear to her. and so during the overblot she will not actively try to hurt anyone but instead exhausting her magic reserves in an intentional attempt at self-destruction. (yes i also see the frozen parallels shhhh)

OR

something happens that was simply THE LAST STRAW. now she’s too pissed at everyone that she no longer cares about what happens to her or anyone else, going on a destructive rampage. which can also be considered an intentional attempt at self-destruction.

either way, basically, if she can’t go home she’s just going to take herself out and/or the school instead. the girl is not okay.

(there's actually nothing good she can home to, but she's convinced she'll be happy again if she returns. but she doesn't know that because she can't remember shit about her home. that's a separate lore dump post hgdsjfkld)

also the blot monster behind her would look something like marshmallow (elsa's snow monster from frozen) :)

(i also used to have a similar idea for yuusha. i planned to have her be immune to magic *because* she was absorbing it and she didn't realize. leading to an inevitable overblot) (but i scrapped it because yuusha became my victim for jamil x yuu stuff) (like if i can't have the excuse to have jamil use snake whisper on yuu then what is the point)

[littlemissclandestine]

Can you make soft Vladimir makarov? Please?

Hello my dear Anon!

Of course I can 😊 - thank you so much for the ask! Wasn't sure whether you wanted MWIII or OG MW Makarov so I just went with MWIII. I'm also only comfortable writing for a female reader so hope that's okay. I hope these are to your standards and make you happy, honey. Enjoy! <3

Soft!Vladimir Makarov x Reader

WARNINGS: Mentions of sex, suggestive, MDNI, 18+ only

🖤 Soft!Mak who, initially, seems like a cold, distant man who isn't capable of loving anyone, only interested in his work but who has a soft spot for women like you

🖤 Soft!Mak who gently tilts your head up to meet his eyes, his calloused thumb on your chin, stroking it as he whispers lowly how precious you are, his lips curving into a smile as his eyes dart from your left eye to your right and back

🖤 Soft!Mak who uses terms of endearment in Russian regularly such as любимый (beloved), Дорогая (dear), Любимая (darling), Котёнок (kitten), and ангел (angel) - especially loves calling you 'my beloved' or my angel'

[i most definitely have got these wrong as i don't know Russian so someone please correct me if need be!]

🖤 Soft!Mak who loves running his hands up and down your sides as you stand in front of him while he's sat down, looking up at you

🖤 Soft!Mak who gives you that knowing smirk when you wear skirts or tight dresses and just has to compliment your shape and how stunning you look, not being able to keep his hands off you

🖤 Soft!Mak who tends to get possessive when any of his bodyguards or anybody at all looks at you in a way only he's allowed to -> (He may also beat their faces to a pulp, the skin on his knuckles broken, his crisp white shirt now stained with their blood, his face too. As you try and pull him away, he'll spit on them and curse at them. Yes he definitely gets jealous...)

🖤 Soft!Mak who takes your hands in his, holding them together, cocooning them, giving you reassurance everything will work out and he'll be back soon

🖤 Soft!Mak who kisses your forehead tenderly, closing his eyes, his hands on either side of your head before he ruffles your hair when he leaves, cracking a joke to lighten the mood when he sees you crying or saying he'll treat you to something special when he gets back

🖤 Soft!Mak who shows you how much he appreciates you for sticking by him through thick and thin, knowing the questionable things he does daily and putting that aside because you love him

🖤 Soft!Mak who sometimes takes his stress and anger out on you but would never lay a hand on you like that because how could he?

🖤 Soft!Mak who instead, prefers some time apart but only a little. You walk into the main room in your hotel or the living room in your house in the morning, finding it filled with hundreds of bouquets of flowers and your favourite chocolates and a card addressed to you, a handwritten letter detailing how much you mean to him and that he'll be back to talk things through. -> (Timing is everything with this man)

🖤 Soft!Mak who constantly wants to provide for you, spoiling you with the money he brings in, not hesitating to buy bespoke, elegant, matching jewellery for you to wear in his presence

🖤 Soft!Mak who will use as many burner phones as he needs to to call you, telling you how much he missed your voice, holding the phone away for a moment when he starts choking on tears, looking up and blinking quickly to get rid of the tears, clearing his throat and resuming the call, his voice seemingly normal

🖤 Soft!Mak who would rather keep his business with the outside world hidden from you as best he can because really you're his world, the only world he wants to be in, the only one he really wants to focus on. 'The less you know the better' kind of thing because he has to protect his woman

🖤 Soft!Mak who will, however, give you basic firearms training in his private shooting range. Just the two of you. Him standing behind you, hips pressing into yours, his hot breath tickling the shell of your ear and neck, a hand squeezing your hips as the other arm adjusts your stance and giving you a kiss on your neck when you hit your targets

🖤 Soft!Mak who will bury his face into the junction between your neck and shoulder, inhaling your scent and leaving a hickey as he wraps his arms around your lower body, hugging you from behind as you both look at the view from the balcony

🖤 Soft!Mak who doesn't mind PDA, but nothing too extreme, reminding you and everyone watching who you belong to, not thinking it's a sign of weakness but instead strength

🖤 Soft!Mak who has no guilt when it comes to the bloodshed he causes, but feels incredibly guilty when he leaves you for just one moment

🖤 Soft!Mak who needs to feel you on him all the time and touching you whenever he gets a chance to, the expression in the eyes of this trained killer turning into one of pure love and admiration

🖤 Soft!Mak who will pull you down by your wrist, causing you to fall into his lap so he can kiss you softly, his fingers digging into your hips and back, tongue intertwining with yours as you both fight for dominance

🖤 Soft!Mak whose ability to compartmentalise and keep emotions out of things is at serious risk when you came into his life because you're all that's on his mind

🖤 Soft!Mak who treats you like the rarest, most valuable thing in the entire universe, doing everything with the utmost care when it comes to you

🖤 Soft!Mak who loves you for you, admiring your strength, and treats you how a man should, his actions exemplary (even though he is often away but he makes up for it)

🖤 Soft!Mak who loves your vulnerability too, reminding you that you're both a team and to work through things together

🖤 Soft!Mak who never makes you feel like a burden on his shoulders

🖤 Soft!Mak who notices how you tend not to bother him when he's preoccupied, his gloved hands on his hips as he's talking to someone, his head tilting to the side and noticing you hunched over, immediately walking up to you because he feels bad for not spending as much time as he wants to with. Him kneeling down in front of you, removing his gloves, his hands caressing your cheeks as he asks what's on your mind with a warm expression on his face

🖤 Soft!Mak who takes your soft hands to his lips in the middle of a conversation, kissing them while maintaining eye contact with you, listening to you fully

🖤 Soft!Mak who interlocks your fingers with his in the backseat of an SUV and has an arm around you or his hand on your thigh, your head on his shoulder when you're on the run and need to relocate, being driven by a chauffeur to the next place you call home

🖤 Soft!Mak who always wonders what he did to deserve you

🖤 Soft!Mak who is full of surprises, showing you his experience in every field ;)

🖤 Soft!Mak who is big on consent, only engaging in anything sexual if you're in the mood, taking his time, talking you through it, guiding you through it, getting rougher later if you're comfortable with it

🖤 Soft!Mak who chuckles when he hears you moan or scream his name, whispering things in Russian directly into your ear that turn you on even more...

"Hehe you like that my love?...Fuck you're killing me kitten nghh look at you, so beautiful, so...sexy."

🖤 Soft!Mak who, in a mad rush, fuelled by the adrenaline and cortisol running through his veins and the fact he might not make it back before a mission, where he has a standoff with TF141, asks that million dollar question in a hotel, not his ideal proposal location but anyways he slips that ring onto your finger, lips meeting yours harshly with desire, as tears stain his cheek, saying he loves you repeatedly, cupping your cheeks as your foreheads touch and he pulls you into a quick tight hug

🖤 Soft!Mak who, when the opposition are closing in on his location, will grab your hand tightly, running through corridors on high alert, a pistol in the other as he shouts commands to his soldiers, glass breaking, bullets flying as he shields you from it all

🖤 Soft!Mak who directs you out of the area first as your safety is priority, you bring him more joy than anything in the world, the only thing he truly needs and if he lost you knowing he had a part to play, he'd never be the same again -> (would probably make his reign of terror worse, wanting to brutally torture or kill the rest of our tf141 lads in cold blood as he looks for someone else to blame even though deep down he knows some of it lies with him - I LIVE FOR ANGST. Can you tell?)

🖤 Soft!Mak who remembers your talks together in bed and how you wouldn't want him to lash out in grief and be impulsive like that or seek so called 'revenge' in the first place even though you knew what you were getting into when you began dating him

🖤 Soft!Mak who starts to question whether his cause is worth it because of the danger he's putting you in, trying to push those thoughts aside because he's THE Vladimir Makarov, the ultranationalist, the terrorist, the man whose authority and work should not be questioned by any being or they'd face the consequences...-> (the internal conflict mwahaha! *rubs hands together*)

🖤 Soft!Mak who is 110% loyal to you and you only

🖤 Soft!Mak who thinks twice about everything now that he has you

dividers by @saradika-graphics <33

Next time, don't be shy anon - YOLO. Please know this is a safe space, my love. 🙃 (Also lowkey almost fell for him a second time writing these. First time was OG!Makarov, however. Yeesh...dear God, please not again. NEVER AGAIN bdjcdjsksk) -Star ☆

[schrodinger-swriter]

Hello! I just saw your fluff alphabet and would like to request A, I, K, O, P, Q, and U for Sir Pentious. Thank you! :)

I, K, O, P, Q, and U for Sir Pentious

You can find A in the previous alphabet post for Sir Pentious, I hope you don't mind not having it all in one post!

I hope you enjoy this, Anon C:

INJURY:

He would cope.. not very well if you were to get hurt. Given that it was hell that was a likely probability. He often sends one, or even up to three, of his egg boiz with you to keep an eye on you when he isn't around. He may even scold his eggs for allowing you to get hurt, no matter how unfair it would be. He would fret over you, treating the most basic injury as if it were a death sentence. You will more than likely have to tell him that you're not dying, and that he needs to calm down... just a little bit... If he were the one injured, I can see him trying to walk it off in the beginning... but seeing the attention he's getting from you, he might try to milk it.. just a tad. He won't ask you to do every little thing for him or overplay some of the pain, but he will definitely ask for more affection than usual!

KISSES:

He loves taking your hand and kissing it, likely dipping down as he does it to really push the dramatics. He loves kissing you on the mouth, too. Short pecks, long kisses, anything in the middle, he loves it. Going into the relationship he didn't think he had a preference of where he was kissed, but he quickly learns that he loves receiving kisses on his cheeks. Please give him a peck before you go out to do something, his hood will fan out in an instant as a grin tugs itself over his face.

ODDITY:

Everything. He's a creative and an inventor, it's kind of in the job description to be at least a little odd! He will approach you in excitement as he rattles off about an idea for a new invention he's come up with (and also, to seek for your approval if it's not meant to be a surprise for you..)

Sometimes he will go on a tangent about an invention and the skills needed for it, which might lead to him having to explain those smaller details.. has a habit of sometimes overexplaining or underexplaining.. he doesn't mean to, he's just so excited and is a little all over the place as he doesn't get much of a chance to ramble to someone about this interest of his!

He has a habit of tugging on his hood when he's embarrassed or stressed, sometimes even pulling it over his face if he's feeling particularly flustered.

PETNAMES:

"My Darling," "My Dear," "My Love," and above all else, he calls you his Beloved. He almost completely replaces your name with them when you two fully establish your relationship, only reserving your actual name for rare occasion.

As for what he likes being called... Naturally, he has a soft spot for terms of endearment from his time, but I think he would be just as ecstatic if you called him anything sweet. I like to believe he likes to be called "Sweetheart," or any variation of the "Sweet___" nicknames!

QUESTION:

Hmm... this one is a hard one... but I think sometimes he would ask for reassurance. Not just that you still love him, but to confirm things about you. Totally not because he's making something for you... and he wants you to confirm a hype specific question of what your favorite color is down to the pantone code or something along those lines... heh..

I think at some point within the series, depending on where it is in the timeline he might start asking you if you believe it's possible to ascend to Heaven after being sent to Hell. Things about the quickly approaching extermination. A lot of those questions turn into promises of victory.

UPSET:

When Sir Pentious is upset he tends to seek you out, whether he be angry or sad or stressed. He finds comfort in you, and spending time with you is by far the best stress relief for him than anything else in Hell. Usually, to cheer him up you two just talk or do an activity together! Though if he's feeling worse than usual, he might have himself sit alone in his room for a while.. this is more common before the relationship/within the early stages of it.

If you're the one upset he's going to try his best to make you feel better. Making quick inventions to bring a smile to your face, letting you vent to him.. and perhaps, if someone upset you he would try to confront them... that... usually doesn't end in his favor, leaving him bloody and bruised... but hey if he can survive getting blasted into the sky by Alastor, then he can survive most anything!

May send one of his egg boiz to keep an eye on you and/or check in on you if you're upset with him. Being apart is killing him inside, and he feels so so bad. He's already doing way more than he needs to in order to win over your forgiveness. He will grovel, too.

[sgiandubh]

Bcac and gotraveltheworldluv are stalkers and so defensive if you doubt them. The shenanigans are getting too old and predictable. I’m not even a shipper and I think something is wrong.  it just doesn’t make sense. These fake dates are really strange. I mean it’s just not normal so it is questionable. The credibility is not there and these other bloggers are just a bunch of strange women.  I actually believe he has a relationship more with his costar then any of these fake dates it just seems so forced  and on public display. If it was real, why innuendos and why post it knowing fans will seek out? I’m not talking about relationships I mean seriously how can he have been with six women in two months and made sure that everybody knew about it. I’ve come to the conclusion he’s definitely hiding something, I’m not sure what. Even being married secretly I know you guys don’t think he’s gay, but I definitely don’t think that he is with all of these women that he claims to be.  I don’t think you’ve had any girlfriends.

Dear Hiding Something Anon,

BCAC, who? As for the other Pearl of Great Price, well... religious hypocrisy at its finest, really. I wonder what her congregation would think about her dirty, dirty little secret. Online stalking all those women, even those remotely purported to have breathed around S, surely won't get her extra brownie points, or whatever they are called, back in her red neck of the woods.

Funny you are not a shipper, but still found a way to ask yourself all the right questions. According to the Anti Gospel, you are just one step shy of apostasy 😱.

Gay, he is not. That is a lazy theory based on next to nothing, spare a questionable blogger's speculations (and the 'evidence' singlehandedly fabricated on Wikipedia, long debunked by me) and Data Lounge's almost desperate merry go round of three inconclusive pics and my dog's aunt recollections (Lola's aunt probably hails from Carmarthen and I think she has an excellent pedigree, but that's just about it). Whoever came up with this bullshit has no real knowledge of the gay world's dynamics, either and probably a very superficial, second hand exposure to it.

Speculating he fornicated with a half dozen of women in less than three months (and under public, even obsessed, scrutiny) is borderline demented. Sure, he does not need the consent of the King for such leisure activities, but come on: do they hear themselves? From me to you, Anon - I know still waters run deep, but he never stroke me as the randy devil type. I've seen way worse, including in my own backyard (and you'd give Someone your first born to babysit, without even blinking - such a mistake).

So yes, he does hide something. Once you enter this rabbit hole and provided you take a long, critical look around, you're bound to discover many interesting bits and bobs that add up and paint a credible theory.

What do I think he hides? A love story of our times, Anon. With slammed doors, pillow talk, terms of endearment and deep feelings. And yes, your assumption is correct.

And gee, thanks for your words, too. Much appreciated - why be a hypocrite?

I also strive to be informative, Anon. You can seat by my side, at the back of the bus. This is where the most fun is happening and we even have the finest Gunpowder tea, freshly brewed.

[wangxianficrecs]

Rewind 2023 - Follower Recs

WangxianFicRecs - Rewind 2023

For our Rewind 2023, our dear followers were also able to submit Follower Recs of their favourite stories published in 2023 for you to enjoy! Thank you to everyone who shared their recs and make sure to give the authors some love!

~*~

Lovely fic, the worldbuilding really got me hook, it is background but absolutely fascinating. -Anon

The Lines of your Soul

by athena_crikey

M, 24k, Wangxian & Nielan

Summary: At this point he just wants to get Lan Zhan horizontal so he can sleep off the drugs that are making him make little confused snuffling noises and ask questions like “How soft is purple?” and “Where did the moon go?” and “Why does Wei Ying smile all the time?” Lan Zhan under the influence is cute, and it makes Wei Wuxian genuinely angry because he cannot appreciate it. This is not something Lan Zhan chose, this is not even an accident, this is an intentional violation and none of the sounds or questions or wide-eyed glances Lan Zhan is giving him are his choice.

~*~

Not an easy read, there is a lot of hurt there, but how lwj and wwx behaved in such an awful situation really got to me. -Anon

swallowing rocks, swallowing peach skins

by AvoOwO

M, 24k, Wangxian

Summary: There is an indescribable rage boiling within Lan Wangji's chest. Lan Wangji has often heard stories of unsuspecting travelers being taken from their camp within the night, held against their wills only to be somehow found weeks later, dead and in the most horrid of states. Stories are hard enough to read about. It is worse, he thinks, when it is Wei Ying he is here with, gagged and bound in the same way. They walk, and walk, and walk, and they do not stop.

~*~

Lwj and wwx are just. such disasters. and I loved their jobs, especially lwj. it was a very enjoyable read. -Anon

To See You (Again)

by FrameofMind (@frameofmind6), Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle)

E, 84k, Wangxian

Part of Bottomji Big Bang 2023

Summary: A new job brings Wei Ying to London, and back into Lan Zhan's life. Many things have changed since their time in boarding school (Lan Zhan is out of the closet, arranges charcuterie boards, stocks a fine bar…), but their friendship slots right back into place like no time has passed. Wei Ying is a little perplexed by the fact that Lan Zhan apparently doesn't have any interest in dating anyone despite being an obvious catch—but hey, at least that means he doesn't have to fight anyone for Lan Zhan's time and attention. And besides, it's not like Wei Ying is in any big rush to find himself a girlfriend either. It’s all working out great!

~*~

This story is a ton of fun and such a different and interesting concept. @danegen

Pairfire

by PaidSubscription

E, 65k, Wangxian

Part of Bottomji Big Bang 2023

Summary: Welcome, young cultivators, to the most important event of your lives: your Coming of Age Symposium. At dawn tomorrow, you will be assigned to your pairmate. You will then complete the following courses together. Week 1: Love Languages (core course) Week 2: Conflict Resolution (core course) Week 3: Guided Gender Selection (core course, ongoing) Week 4: Caring for Your Pairmate in Distress (elective) Week 5: Heat Week (elective) On your final day you will choose which permanent A/B/O gender is right for you. We will provide guidance as you try each of them in the coming weeks. Good luck. OR: WangXian are unexpectedly paired for a relationship course. Shenanigans, pining, gender feels and horniness ensues. With art by Beanie.

~*~

This series was so much fun, especially watching Lan Wangji's lust for Wei Wuxian from Su She's POV. And I'm grateful the author included a second part so we can see all the bits we missed and how wangxian got together. Also lwj's competency kink for wwx's brilliance was gold. @gentil-minou

💙 The epic college romance between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan

by KizuKatana (@kizukatana)

E, WIP, Series, 57k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary part one: The (bitter) third party pov of the epic college romance between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, as told from the pettiest NPC to ever exist. - - - - - A new student transferred into the university in their second year, and Su She was gleeful to see how much Lan Zhan was irritated by him from the very first day that the student (Wei something) showed up late for class with a ratty hoodie pulled up over his head and proceeded to sleep through lecture. Finally, someone else would be the butt of everyone’s jokes as they watched Wei Ying constantly try and fail to get Lan Zhan’s attention. When midterm grades came out, Su She was expecting the guy to be humiliated. That was… not what happened. Worse still, Lan Zhan was now actually turning his head to look at the guy when he spoke. And... wait, was Lan Zhan… putting his hand on the guy’s ass?! No. Su She does not accept this.

~*~

I love historical aus and Greaser!WWX with GoldenBoy!LWJ is one we know well, butI love this fic for all the heart it has and the way it covers setting-typical homophobia. Wangxian get a happy ending and then the epilogue at the end really just made me feel all kinds of feelings about being queer. @gentil-minou

Mad about the Boy

by TriviasFolly (@triviasfolly)

M, 62k, Wangxian

Summary: It's 1954, and Lan Zhan's life would be going well if it wasn't for the charming Wei Ying. Did he say charming? He meant annyoing. If it wasn't for that smile Lan Zhan could accept the future planned for him, the job as Cheif Surgeon who returned home to a demure wife who'd cook him dinner and asking him about his day. Instead, he finds himself dreaming about something more. So when Wei Ying offers him a deal, one that would get him out of Lan Zhan's life he took it. When the evening goes wrong, Lan Zhan expects his life to be over. Instead, he finds it's just the start of a new chapter.

~*~

The way this author made the story of the Scarlet Pumpenel fit in mdzs is, in my opinion, masterful. The arranged marriage is built on devastating misunderstanding after devastating misunderstanding, but the identity shenanigans are so fun! Other highlights include Jiang sect love and wangxian adopting not only A-Yuan but MXY as well. So much fun and an epic adventure! @gentil-minou

The Scarlet Lotus

by rainbowninja167 (@rainbowtitania)

M, 137k, Wangxian

Summary: In the years following the Sunshot Campaign, the mysterious, masked cultivator who’d defeated Wen Ruohan took on many identities: the Yiling Patriarch, leader of the Wen rebels, enemy of the Jin Sect, practitioner of wicked tricks. His true name was shrouded in mystery. He always wore a mask. He carried no sword; wore no clan colors or insignia. Clouds of resentful energy clung to him as he walked. But there was one thing that absolutely everyone agreed on: the Yiling Patriarch could not possibly be from the Jiang Sect. Or: a Scarlet Pimpernel-inspired fix-it featuring Wei Wuxian in disguise, Lan Wangji determined to bring the nefarious Yiling Patriarch to justice, and the hijinks that ensue when you accidentally marry your greatest enemy/love of your life.

~*~

Another fun and sexy fic built on misunderstandings but I love the tone of this one! There's a lot of heart in this fic along with some real world issues along with just lots of wwx love, which makes this fic something i reread again and again! @gentil-minou

With No Particular Affection

by Chrononautical (@chrononautintraining)

E, 92k, Wangxian

Summary: A prominent physicist and professor, Wei Ying has built a life for himself in Chicago. He's safe, he's happy, and he has plans for his future. Unfortunately, those plans are derailed the moment he finds out his brother is in trouble. To save the family business, it will have to be Wei Ying's life on the line. He has to marry his old high school crush, Lan Zhan.

~*~

wangxian exploring their sexuality while getting to act their age in cloud recesses is such a wonderful premise, and I love the way this fic lets them not being good at it. Also the little excerpts from the book throughout were such fun and always made me giggle! @gentil-minou

Fentao-laoshi's Guide to Cut-Sleeve Pleasures

by occultings (microcomets) (@microcomets)

E, 31k, Wangxian

Part of the good place server exchange 2023

Summary: Lan Wangji says, “I am also looking to . . . gain practical experience. It seemed mutually advantageous.” “Mutually advantageous,” Wei Wuxian echoes. “Wait. Do you mean I’d get to . . . ?” Lan Wangji stares at him. “Practice — on you?” Wei Wuxian finishes, his eyes round with disbelief. — During a shared summer studying in the Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian diligently pursue an informed sexual education. What could possibly be the harm in some mutual learning?

~*~

the most heartbreaking, angsty, canon setting arranged marriage au i've read so far, in the best way. We get to see things from LWJ's pov and while his actions make sense, it's still so devastating as we watch WWX be affected by it all. The happy ending makes the hurt all the better too! @gentil-minou

💙 Concord

by Deastar (@youhideastar)

T, 41k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Lan Wangji hopes, somewhat frivolously, that his betrothed might find him an acceptable companion. Neither he nor Wei Wuxian are able to bear children, so there will be no need to share a marital bed; that should make it easier for the two of them to reach a natural, comfortable equilibrium. Two strings played in harmony: this is Lan Wangji’s quiet hope, as he arranges the Jingshi to accommodate a second inhabitant. Perhaps, he thinks, they might even become friends.

~*~

MothXian and WitchJi!!!!! The art for this au is always so lovely, and this fic fits it perfectly! The author has this gorgeous, dreamy prose that really enhances the setting and the sweetness of wangxian in this is so beautiful. @gentil-minou

light a lantern (and guide me home)

by xuanxuanwo (ostentatiouslyrealistic) (@xuanxuanwo)

T, 63k, Wangxian

Summary: At first, he thinks he’s caught a bird; it’s the size of one of his palms and wrapped fully in damp feathers. As he shuffles toward the beam of light that streams through the open window, he wonders how it managed to fly into his lantern, shut the door, and latch it against the wild gales of the wind. Then, he takes a closer look, thumbing across its feathers, and realizes that they’re not feathers at all. They’re leaves. Startled, Lan Zhan shifts as gently as possible and, using the tip of his finger, parts them to reveal a body, complete with tiny limbs and a small face, all of it wrapped in the dress made from peony petals. “Oh,” Lan Zhan breathes softly, heart clenching. “Oh, what are you?” -- A thunderstorm brings tea master and herbalist Lan Zhan a companion he never knew he needed. A tale of love, loss, and letting go.

~*~

Rockstar!WWX and Bookseller!LWJ and they are just the cutest. Notting Hill is a classic romcom and this fic fits the romcom vibe perfectly. @gentil-minou

When the Lights Come Up

by brooklinegirl

E, 50k, Wangxian

Summary: Lan Zhan's brother draws to a halt next to him, staring at the man on the other side of the counter. "Oh, it is you, isn't it?" The man, still propped against the counter on his elbow, gives Lan Huan a grin, then directs it at Lan Zhan again. "I don't know," he says. "Is it? Am I?" "You are." Lan Huan is hurrying around to the other side of the counter, a wide smile on his face, while Lan Zhan looks on, feeling more and more perplexed, like he's stepped into some alternate universe where absolutely nobody is making any sense at all. "Wei Wuxian! Lan Zhan, do you know who this is? It's Wei Wuxian!" Lan Huan is reaching for the man's hand, and he pushes himself lazily to standing, shaking Lan Huan's hand warmly. "In the flesh," he says. "You caught me." "My goodness." Lan Huan is staring at him like he's never seen a human being before in his life. "What on earth are you doing here, of all places?

~*~

magical wangxian who adopt mo xuanyu in a setting that's written so vividly, the whole place comes alive! it's part of a larger series but it can be read alone, but most importantly the characters are so patient and kind with such great moments between them all @gentil-minou

quiet, blooming hours

by Sanguis (@bel-ennui)

T, 13k, Wangxian

Summary: Fingers push through the earth, and a long lost boy takes the first gasping breath of his second life. The house of buried things has a new surprise for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hi there! I hope you're having a great day! I want to ask you a question... or more like a suggestion. I had asked the same thing several weeks ago, so I assume you missed it. But if you don't want to answer is, that's okay! 😄

My question is simple. What do you think SDV / SVE (including the mages and adventurers) bachelor and bachelorette would reach upon knowing that the farmer, whom had a quiet, soft and gentle personality, is actually a seasoned fighter in an underground boxing match (and a really good one, at that!)?

Thank you very much for your attention! 💕

Don't worry, dear anon, I saw your previous ask! I was just busy and couldn't answer earlier (will write it here so I don't have to answer twice). Thanks for your ask! And enjoy! 💕

_________________________________________

SDV/SVE bachelors:

Gus had recently purchased a strength meter for his arcade corner, and Farmer had fallen in love with the machine, constantly spending their coins. And putting Elliott, who caught those moments, in complete shock. When the newcomer first came to town, they appeared to the writer as a kind and quiet-seeking person. Having learnt for their background, he would like to write about their biography.

So, all those rumours about an underground bare-knuckle champion who knocked out big guys with one punch - is Shane's tender spouse crying about a dried rose? Holy shit... He's totally shocked (and pleasantly surprised, for wow, his spouse is awesome. Why didn't they say this before?).

Alex spent the whole time defending Farmer from the overly annoying newcomers, thinking they were too shy and kind to be rude to anyone. And it turns out that not only can they stand up for themself, but they can send huge muscular fighters staring into the realm of dreams with one punch. The athlete will be surprised for sure. How? When?

Is that true? Is it really true? Farmer really is a boxing fighter, and a champion too?! That's so cool! Um... Sam wonders if his friend/spouse should mention this to his mom at a dinner (much less his dad). These fights aren't too legal after all... However, it's up to Farmer to decide if they'll talk about it or not. Either way, Farmer is an incredible and cool person. He certainly didn't expect this from them.

Poor Harvey didn't even have time to react to Farmer being bullied by some assholes from the big city before Farmer sent them all straight to his clinic. While the doctor was bringing them to their senses (and writing a complaint against them for bullying the locals), he wondered how Farmer, the kindest and calmest person, knew such hand-to-hand combat techniques. Underground fighting was the very last option doctor could think of.

One, two, three - and Farmer dealt with three drunken bullies who started harassing the locals and imposing their company. Everyone was in complete shock. Sebastian, meanwhile, freaking delighted with them. The stories of their nightly fights underground for the title of best boxer, in Sebby's opinion, added another coin to the Farmer's piggy bank of awesomeness.

Lance's guesses were correct - Farmer's behaviour in the fight with the monsters made it clear at once that they had to engage and defend themself often. The adventurer had never seen anyone previously beat a magma sprite with their fists alone. Lance is pleasantly surprised and delighted by his mysterious friend. But just in case, it's best to carry a sword.

Victor starts showering his friend/spouse with a whole bunch of questions right after Farmer decides to share their past. How did it happen? Did Farmer become a fighter because they wanted the title, or were there other reasons? Do they still fight to this day? Pardon him, but he's very interesting. Farmer certainly doesn't seem like the type of person who would pursue a top fighter title with blood on their fists.

The truth is, Magnus knew about Farmer's underground fighting. Well, not really, for his crystal ball only showed vague information about their past. Hm? Of course a Wizard can see the past, that fancy hat's not for show, you know. Though he wonders how a fighter like them changed their occupation 180 degrees and became first an office clerk and then a farmer.

SDV/SVE bachelorettes:

Penny learnt all about Farmer's past after they defended her from some cheeky Joja driver by fist-bumping him in the face. The teacher never expected Farmer to do such a thing, though she is grateful for their help. When asked casually where they learnt to fight, she got an even answer, which left her even more astonished.

Funny enough, when Farmer opened up to Emily about their constant nightly fights at the fight club, Emily felt proud of him. Pride because while they are strong, they treat those around them with kindness and patience. A bright aura radiates from them, and the new information about Emily's friend wouldn't make her change her attitude towards them for the worse somehow.

Maru hasn't heard much about these illegal fights in Zuzu City, but the title "Destroyer" speaks for itself. And Farmer has quite an interesting past, and she wouldn't mind hearing about it. The young inventor just hopes that all those titles and honours don't interfere in any way with her friend/spouse's job as a farmer, which they enjoy.

To Abigail, Farmer has become the most brutal and badass person on the planet. She knows about these fights! (Mostly just a gossip, not the actual fights). And the fact that it was Farmer who was the rumoured champion of underground fights made the purple-haired girl ecstatic. Man, it's a shame she can't brag to others about her friend/lover, as she doesn't want to get Farmer in trouble with the law.

"I never would have guessed, honestly. You don't look too athletic." Don't take Haley's words harshly, she didn't mean to offend Farmer. It's just that they really do look very unthreatening, so this information was a bit of a shock to her. Well, the girl now knows for sure that if she gets harassed, she can always ask her friend for help. Though she also doesn't want Farmer to be hurt either (she knows they're strong, but still).

This explains the fact that Farmer so easily knocked out Leah's ex when she and Farmer were on a date (even though Kel has always been weak). After Farmer shared about their past, she's naturally shocked, but the shock quickly changed to a look of adoration. A strong and resilient fighter who is the kindest and most ineterest person.... It is impossible not to fall in love with Farmer.

Claire was a bit taken aback by this information, because when she came to Zuzu City for some business, there were always some big guys standing near the underground, throwing dirty compliments and saying that they were "masters of boxing", so Claire "should definitely go with them". So the impression she had formed of such people was not a very good one. Farmer, on the other hand, is the gentlest and most sympathetic person, so it's a bit of a pattern breaker for her.

"I hope you don't have a list of detractors behind you." Sounds a little harsh from Olivia's lips, undeniably, but on the other hand, these things should be talked about beforehand. The former Joja accountant quizzes them about their fights and whether they "crossed anyone's path with their victories." Olivia isn't stupid, she knows what the consequences could be and doesn't want Farmer, her and her son to get hurt.

Sophia felt like she was behind a stone wall with Farmer earlier, and now that they've shared their stories about the club and their involvement, she's not afraid of anything at all. And most importantly, despite all those rumours of a tough and undefeated ring champion, Farmer remains the same kindhearted and cinnamon bun they've always been, hee hee!

Castle Village's mages and adventurers:

Hmm, Farmer has had some physical training before.... Alright, Isaac will be less suspicious of them. But still, fist fights aren't enough for the battle with monsters. Even pathetic green slimes can be a problem in this situation without any sword or dagger. They need practice with cold weapons as well.

Wow, Alesia didn't expect that the newest Guild member in Stardew Valley had entire titles in fist fighting behind them. Especially from someone she considered a pacifist and non-confrontational person. Strange why it wasn't listed anywhere on their report for them. While it's not "official" training on an adventurer, everyone's file should list all of their merits.

Secret underground fights for the Ultimate Fighting Championship title? *Chuckle* Why on earth would Farmer think it was a secret to Camilla? Oh, that's right, she's already learnt a lot about them, and their past... intrigues her. That explained their good physical fitness, despite their rather harmless appearance. Please tell her more about this battles~

Not to say that Jadu was much interested in Farmer's past, as they didn't know each other too well. But the rumour that Farmer had managed to learn how to fight in their rather young life inspires respect. The Castle Village mage thinks they had a reason to get into illegal fights, so he'll leave his questions at that. But wouldn't mind listening if Farmer is willing to tell their story.

[ladywisteriatarot]

Dear lady wisteria,

What is jungkook’s favorite physical features of her? Also what does he like about her personality?

Thank you ❤️

every part of her face. she's perfect in his eyes.

he likes how she has a balance between masculinity and femininity. a anon asked if jungkook would find her unattractive or boring for not partying or drinking too much (which is such an odd question and that energy is not allowed here) but people don't realize that there's other ways to having fun.

his past partners would regularly like to go out with him in large and loud settings but she's different because she'd be only willing to go out if its JUST with him in a quiet but romantic and fun setting. it shows responsibility and not attempting to be a part of hookup culture or excessive partying culture. she's naturally introverted and so is he, so they're absolute in love with the fact that its just them. they're always in physical contact somehow on dates.

i know that many readers have said that she may be very mature but she also has a really great childish side that suits his energy as well, they catch each other ending each other's sentences and have the same sense of humor. both of them have never found a romantic partner/interest that would make them laugh that hard until they found each other.

he also finds it so sexy when she looks like she knows what she's doing (career wise), its another side of her that got his jaw dropped, she's apparently gorgeous when she concentrates and gets things done.

[joe-spookyy]

asks you about american werewolf in london

hoooly shit it’s finally happened. someone asked me The question. thanks anon.

i am now going to try and sell you all on this movie cause i can’t recommend it enough and i think everyone should watch it. so: let me tell you a thing or two about hit 1981 horror comedy an american werewolf in london!!! and this is off the top of my head so if any of it is slightly off numbers wise im sorry. if you like 80s horror, men, queercoding, re-animator, the thing, jaws, saw, the lost boys, or just werewolves in general. hear me out on this one. link included to watch.

The Premise:

fresh off the heels of his cocaine fueled jazz musical masterpiece The Blues Brothers (1980), director john landis decided he was going to cook up the greatest film ever made. and he did. he was actually gonna have john belushi (jake blues) and dan akyroyd (elwood blues and yes the ghostbuster) play the two main characters, david kessler and jack goodman. now, who are these fellas? well i’m so glad you asked. david (played by david naughton) and jack (played by griffin dunne) are two dear pals from new york on a cute little backpacking trip across europe. david's the tall one. he's silly and gleeful to be out and about. jack is the short one. he's very much not gleeful about the fact that they're on the rainy moors and wishes they were in rome. together they find their way to a cute little pub and go inside, looking for hot drinks. the locals do not love this. they also do not love when jack asks them why there's a five pointed star on the wall (since lon chaney and universal studios assert that that's the mark of the wolfman!) it gets awkward. so they leave, with nothing but the warning to stay off the moors, stick to the roads, and beware of the moon. obviously, they do not follow this. wouldn't make for a very interesting movie if they did. and, as i'm sure you've assumed, they encounter a werewolf, leaving jack like this (dead):

and david, who survived the attack, with the curse of the werewolf. but fear not! david is transported to a hospital where he makes a lovely recovery, and jack um. well he stays dead. but he comes back to haunt david! he shows up a few more times in further states of decay to tell david that he really ought to just kill himself so that the curse is broken, jack and all the other werewolf victims can rest in peace, and david won't accidentally maul any additional civilians as a werewolf. hey while we're talking about jack heres me when i dressed up as him at a horror con. and the man himself.

anyways. hijinks ensue, and you're taken on a delightful romp across 97 minutes of fun as david tries to navigate life as... you guessed it. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON!

why it rules:

in my opinion, that's enough to make this movie flames as fuck. but if you're not convinced yet? let me tell you some more. first off. the practical effects on this bad boy are straight up excellent. they're done by my personal favorite vfx artist rick baker (who also worked on star wars, men in black, videodrome, king kong and more!), and he does not hold back. the picture of jack shows how nasty and detailed the wound is pretty well, but in action it's even better with all the nasty fleshy bits dangling and wiggling and eugh. it's gross. but it's so well done. and he does a terrific job showing how jack decays throughout the rest of the movie. but of course, what really matters is the werewolf. it's not called an american dead guy in london. which is good. cause that would be a dumb name for a movie. anyways. if we’re going to talk about the werewolf, we have to start with the iconic transformation scene. sped up.

wow! pretty impressive stuff right? it’s all practical, no cgi, and i think the way it’s almost drawn out and the relative silence of the scene adds to the impact it has, since it sort of forces the audience to sit with and feel just a little bit of the discomfort that david seems to be feeling. we just have to watch him scream in pain and beg for mercy. yeesh. now, the transformation scene is hard to top. but i think the final werewolf design is actually pretty solid. it’s distinctly not man, but it’s also distinctly not wolf. i would include a picture, but i feel like part of the allure of the film is how it (jaws style) doesn’t really let you get a good look at the monster itself until the end of the movie. it’s a great way to build the tension and leave a little bit up to the audience’s interpretation. and the audience will always imagine something way more horrible than you could have ever created. which is kind of beautiful. the first time i watched, i found myself kind of disappointed in the werewolf’s appearance - its face seemed to be stuck in a sort of permanent scowl. i was kind of lost, because i couldn’t imagine why a static face had won out over whatever the vfx team was clearly capable of making. but Oh. dear reader. when nurse alex price, david’s dear love, who cared for him in the hospital, allowed him to live with her, and even banged him, approaches the wolf. when she tells david she loves him. the wolf’s eyes soften. it begins to drop the snarl. see. i lied here’s part of the wolf. all snarly like and scary. before it melts at three simple words from alex. god.

it hits me like a huge truck every single time. rick baker never misses and this movie was certainly not an exception. he got an academy award for it and it was well deserved.

not so into the technical stuff? that’s okay. i have more to praise about this movie. it is one of the best blends of horror and comedy that i’ve ever encountered. although some of it looks a little dated, i do think it maintains its fear factor. it’s plenty gory, and in my humble opinion, the subway scene (you’ll know it when you see it) is one of the most effective bits of horror i’ve ever encountered. even when isolated from the film, it still packs a punch. but i’m not gonna put it here because i want you to just watch it with the rest of the movie. sorry. and on top of the horror, it’s honestly hilarious. if you don’t think seven dead people ganging up on one dude and listing ways he should kill himself in the middle of a porn theater while a porno plays very loudly in the background. well. i don’t know what to tell you. you probably won’t like this movie that much. also, the final needle drop over the credits at the end is so abrupt and so funny. love it.

and of course, being an 80s horror movie with two male leads. i’m sure you can guess what i’m going to say. it is not hard to read jack and david as friends, but it’s also not very difficult to read them as having a little something going on. like love. fellas is it gay to go on a little trip across england with just yoh and your best bro? hard to say. textually, i do think it’s kind of telling that every time jack shows up, it’s either right after or while david is having a heterosexual experience (flirting with alex, banging alex, watching straight porn in the porn theater.) it’s almost like… something other than jack… is haunting david. i dunno. i’m not a cop. but it’s interesting. seems like something the average tumblr user might like to keep an eye on, so i’m letting you know. also they have a conversation while david is completely naked which is like. hello. plus the inherent queerness of the werewolf narrative is something i could talk about for HOURS and was especially prevalent, alongside vampire movies. in the 80s during the aids crisis. my short essay on this ⬇️

also, there’s a classic john landis third act car crash scene, where, in the same vein as the blues brothers, an obscene amount of cars are absolutely demolished.

also also, the muppets make a brief appearance in this movie. this made me jump for joy, because i love the muppets. and you should too.

fun and true facts

still not sold? well, check out this last ditch effort in the form of fun facts. or, if you just want to know more, read on.

micheal jackson was so impressed by the effects in this movie, particularly the transformation scene, that after seeing it, he promptly hired rock baker (vfx guy) and john landis (director guy) to work on the music video for his hit song thriller. you’ve probably seen it, but if not, go watch it. tbh, even if you have seen it before, go watch it again.

david naughton was a doctor pepper spokesman before the filming of this movie. he was in at least a few bits of promotional material, including at least one commercial. unfortunately he lost the job because of the amount of time he spent dick out in this movie. doctor pepper did not want that to be the representation of their brand. cowards, the lot of them.

speaking of his dick, you actually never fully see it at any point in the movie despite the fact that it seems they never felt like telling david to wear pants on set. there is a reason for this! david (character) is jewish and canonically circumcised (dunno how else to put it) and david (actor) is neither of these things. so, to avoid ruining the realism in his. werewolf movie. john landis took great care to never show the whole thing.

the american ambassador who visits david in the hospital is played by frank oz, who also voices miss piggy. because of her brief cameo, he technically plays two different roles in this movie, although miss piggy is simply credited as “Herself” in the end credits of the movie. he also voices yoda which isn’t relevant but it is really funny to me.

see you next wednesday, which is the name of the porno in the movie, is actually a fun john landis easter egg! many of his movies include the phrase “see you next wednesday.” it’s also seen on posters in the subway scene.

in the scene where jack first visits david in the hospital, he was supposed to take a bite of david’s toast, after which it would immediately fall out of his ruined and torn to shreds throat. however, it was cut for being too gross. which is sad i feel like it could have been funny.

when david calls home to talk to his parents, he mentions two siblings: rachel and max. these are the names of the directors children in real life.

griffin dunne, who plays jack, also appears as the family therapist in a season 2 episode of succession. this was a jumpscare.

while they were filming the naked in the zoo scenes, they were unable to actually close the zoo, so when filming carried on past the opening time of the park, they just kept going and allowed butt naked david naughton to run loose around the zoo. they did, however, succeed in closing piccadilly circus for the car crash scene.

in the beginning when jack is being attacked by the werewolf, it was in fact half a wolf prop on the front of a wheelbarrow. this is a very funny vision for me.

jack is right - the five pointed star is considered the mark of the wolfman, according to 1941’s The Wolf Man, played by lon chaney junior and produced by universal pictures. the guy knows his stuff. interestingly, rick baker did the makeup for the 2010 remake of the wolf man as well. he did pretty good, i think.

this isn’t even about this movie but blues brothers is an awesome film too and a fun fact about that one is there was a whole part of the budget devoted to buying cocaine. and you can tell. great movie.

director john landis did in fact kill three people the year after this movie came out. so. i do feel a little bad promoting it because jesus christ. but. no harm no foul in pirating it. it’s one easy internet archive search away. and sometimes it’s on tubi. but just in case, here’s the internet archive link. https://archive.org/details/an-american-werewolf-in-london

so. anyways. please check out this baller ass movie and talk to me about it. thank you so much to whoever asked this. i love you. thanks for reading. bye.

[faerieroyal]

Hey!! May I suggest/request some headcanons of what Ken (Ryan Gosling) dating a zookeeper Barbie would include, please? Thank you!!

ooooh, yay, a request for ken, i was honestly worried i wasn’t gonna get any for him !! thank you so much, dear anon, and i really hope you like these headcanons !! <3

✩⡱ headcanons: ken (ryan gosling) x gn!zookeeper barbie!reader

(note: i am aware that technically all the barbies are ladies, but in the interest of inclusion i am keeping this gender-neutral - hope you don’t mind!!)

— in a world like barbieland, where so much is the same - the days, the weather, the outfits, the words exchanged between those who live here - you are a notable outlier.

— rather than spend your days at the beach or cruising around the pristine streets of barbieland like your barbie counterparts, you are more than content to spend all your time in barbieland's only zoo, where you work, among the animals. rather than perfectly fitting clothes in pastel colors, your wardrobe consists of a standard zookeeper uniform, beige and khaki and shorts and t-shirts, the type of clothing always ready to be stained with dirt and animal saliva even if they somehow never are.

— you're also a bit different from the other barbies, and even the kens, in terms of personality. you much prefer the company of animals, and after spending so long among them (although curiously, it has never felt like that long), you're left in a place of often not knowing how to socialize with people. the other barbies and kens are all very nice to you when they come to visit the zoo or see you in public, of course - you're not sure any of them know how not to be nice - but the fact remains: you are quiet and relatively isolated, not peppy and social like every other barbie seems to be.

— which is, perhaps, exactly what allows this particular ken to notice you.

— the two of you know each other, of course, everybody knows everybody in barbieland, but you don't have an official conversation until one day when the other barbies finally convince you to come to the beach with them.

— you’re feeling intensely awkward when you first arrive with them, an unusual sight at the beach standing there in a borrowed swimsuit, and that’s when ken first sees you.

— he originally comes up just to talk to classic barbie, but of course take a moment to say hello to all the other barbies standing with her, and it’s then that he notices you, standing there between physicist barbie and president barbie and clearly trying hard to hide how nervous you are. he doesn’t recall ever having seen you before, and given that a new barbie hasn’t appeared in barbieland in a really long time and he definitely would have known if it had happened, he’s immediately interested in who you are and what you must have been doing in order for him to have never met you before now.

— you’re the last barbie he greets, and when he hits you with his classic “hi, barbie!” and dazzling smile, all you find yourself really able to do is smile and awkwardly wave back, feeling like your face is on fire. of course, this only draws ken in more (he’s as curious as a puppy), and so he asks if you want to share a towel with him so that he can get to know you better!

— you’re a little nervous about the other barbies getting upset if you leave them, but they’re all smiles, encouraging you to go and have fun with ken if you want to (and in fact, classic barbie might even give you an extra little push towards him, happy that ken might finally have someone else to have a crush on since she doesn’t return his feelings), so you agree to the towel-sharing, face getting even hotter at how utterly excited ken looks about it.

— the two of you wind up talking for almost two hours, with ken wanting to know everything about you and asking a million questions about your animals and even promising to come to the zoo as soon as possible. he’s so invested in talking to you that even when beach ken taunts him and tries to challenge him to a volleyball match, he doesn’t accept like he normally would - which is how the other barbies realize that in such a short time, he’s already starting to develop a crush on you. (the kens, bless their hearts, take a little longer to pick up on it, but when allan lets them know they very quickly realize how obvious it is.)

— the two of you continue talking and hanging out for a few weeks, during which you even give ken a private tour of the whole zoo and allow him to help you feed the animals, which you’ve never done for anyone before. you’re not quite sure why you offer to let him help you at first, but it’s afterwards that you realize: ken’s special to you. you like him, in the way he used to like classic barbie. in a dating way.

— (even if he does keep mixing up which feeds are meant for which animals and almost gave your zebras the steaks meant for the lions. but you kind of like that he’s a little hopeless, if you’re being honest; it’s ridiculously endearing.)

— it’s about two months, while the two of you are dancing at the first party at classic barbie’s dreamhouse that you’ve ever been to, that ken eagerly asks if he can be your boyfriend. for a moment, you’re frozen in surprise - you ever actually thought he returned your feelings, even though it’s rather obvious as you actually look back - but you quickly beam back at him and, under the pink glow of the dreamhouse’s lights, give this sweet man the only answer you could ever give.

— “of course, ken. i’d love for you to be my boyfriend.”

— and as nervous as you are for the first few weeks after that, it turns out to be amazing. there isn’t even a lot of change from when the two of you were friends; you still spend the majority of your time together, and ken still follows you around like a puppy dog, always telling you about how cool he thinks you are and doing his best to help you take care of your animals (which, again, makes you feel a little bit silly for not realizing he liked you back sooner).

— one of the only differences is that now, you feel a lot less nervous about showering ken with as many compliments as he gives you; barely an hour goes by without the two of you telling each other how beautiful and amazing you find the other person. (the other barbies, for the record, find this absolutely adorable and can never keep from constantly “awww”ing when the two of you hang out with them.)

— another difference, and possibly the best one of all, is that you actually get to kiss him. your kisses normally aren’t very long, just sweet little pecks on the lips - or a flurry of little kisses all over your face when ken gets in a silly mood - but they’re always incredibly nice and leave both of you grinning from ear to ear when you pull away.

— your animals warm up to ken a lot more once the two of you start dating, too. they weren’t always the friendliest to him before, both since they’re protective of you and because he isn’t the best at caring for them, but once they realize that ken really cares about you and isn’t going to do you or them any harm, they become a lot warmer, making happy noises when he approaches and bumping their heads into his hand to demand pets even when he messes up their feeding yet again. (he even strikes up something of a friendship with amelia, one of your lionesses, and you’ve often found him just sitting in her enclosure, having a lively one-sided conversation while she rests her large head in his lap.)

— of course, the other barbies and kens (as well as allan) are very supportive of your relationship - even beach ken, as reluctant as he is to think positively of his rival, can acknowledge that you’re adorable together.

— classic barbie tells you as much one sunny day on the beach, almost exactly like the one where you and ken first met - except that this time, you’re sitting there confidently in your own swimsuit, one that you bought after ken noticed it and declared that he thought you’d look amazing in it, as you lounge on a beach chair with the other barbies and watch the kens square off against each other at the volleyball nets.

— “you know, barbie, you and ken really do make an amazing couple. i’m super happy for you guys; just because i didn’t like him as a boyfriend doesn’t mean he shouldn’t ever get to be anyone’s boyfriend, so i’m really glad he’s yours.”

— and you look over at ken, your ken, as he successfully keeps beach ken from scoring and immediately looks back at you with a big smile to see if you noticed, and you smile as bright as barbieland’s ever-shining sun.

— “me too, barbie. me too.”

barbie (2023) taglist: empty for now !

general taglist: @maddipoof, @thatmagickjuju, @talkingturnedtoscreamss, @malafvma, @auxiliarydetective, @heliads, @oneirataxia-girl !

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