#thank you so much for asking julian :3

[thetimecrystal]

16, 17 & 22 for the music asks! :D

musical asks

16. tell us the name of a song that most people probably don’t know but you absolutely adore

!!!!! this fucking song SLAPS so hard-

17. describe your favorite song without telling me the title

it is the band, with a featured singer who they've made a couple songs together. it's from their second full length album, and just. slaps so hard. it is a duet and that is such a good exploration of attraction and. just. AAAAAA

22. which artist do you hope never stops making music?

this might be a bit of a downer answer, but i don't think i have an artist like that? honestly, i think you can hear the bitterness or loss of magic when the artist stops enjoying the process of making music in the music, and i think knowing when to stop is equally as important as making good art for a great musician

[adriartts]

Idk who you are and I found you in a friend's blog but I really like your oc Julian and his perpetuity for being covered in blood and surrounded by sheep (my two favourite things) can you tell me about him:))

Oh hell yes babey you're just like me for real. take my hand. let me tell you about my favorite guy

Julian was a shepherd through childhood and early adulthood, caring for the sheep was an obligation to his house but not a resented one- he liked it, and actually did care for the sheep quite a bit. He was a weird little girl who grew into an odd young woman, easily frustrated, very dismissive of other people, short-tempered and restless and always off who-knows-where doing god-knows-what. Some thought it was childishness, some thought he was just a bitch, both were right and also neither were. And then he just disappeared, not telling anyone where he went or why, but pretty much all of them knew he wasn't coming back.

A few years later and he would be unrecognizable to anyone who knew him then. He's a sailor now, babey, and finds an equal but opposite call in it as he did with the sheep. It's unfamiliar and dangerous and as he hops between crews he quickly finds himself with one full of scoundrels and shitheads and people that are as much a danger to themselves (and Julian) as they are to others but he stays there because they're also tough and rough and violent and that's the ship he wants to be a part of.

Restlessness turns to recklessness and everything he is is the same but louder, and, integrally, this is on purpose. He thinks he's better than everyone else, thinks he's invincible, thinks everything is a game and nobody else really matters. He has convictions in theory, because most of them can be broken if he thinks he's right to do so. He doesn't let anyone figure him out, he lies for fun and so nobody ever really knows anything about him for sure. He sees the world in transaction: kindness and favor are debts that can be held against you, everyone is trying to take something, so give as little as possible. Everyone has an angle, so he's always trying to decipher what it is. He makes more enemies than friends.

The violence is on purpose. The cockiness, to an extent, is on purpose. He can't stand something quiet and dull in the background so he wells it to the surface of someone else's skin. A fight has rules, a bruise or a cut heals in a predictable way that can be influenced one way or the other. Violence takes energy, it's physical and tangible and it makes sense. Blood comes from somewhere, you can staunch it or you can let it run, none of this in-between bullshit. The choice is there, you just have to make it.

[slowcatsworld]

Blue Lock Master Striker Headcanons

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France’s PXG: Julian Loki

My sweet

Julian definitely is an older sibling (literally made a 3 post long argument on how he is one so TRUST he is). His favorite memory of his little sibling is when they first said his name. The small ‘Julian’ mumbled in multiple breaths (ju..julian yk) made him pause his homework and look them straight in the eye. They stared back with a big, innocent smile. Julian broke out into a smile of his own and grabbed the little guy for a hug.

Julian has such a carefree relationship with his mom, he gives off such mama’s boy vibes. They are a duo that would stay up late watching tv shows even though he has school in the morning and his mom has work. When his mother would cook something Julian was always her taste tester. He lost count the amount of times he would go back for seconds just to “get a better taste” and receive a wooden spoon to the hand. Julian’s mother would adore his girlfriend, especially since she can tell what a good impact you have on her son.

Julian would work well with someone who has a lot of energy but doesn’t need to be monitored or babysat. For example, say he is out at an amusement park with his friends and significant other. His girlfriend sees a game stand that piques her interest and hurls away from the group to investigate with determined steps. Julian isn’t worried about her getting lost or in an altercation with someone. he knows she’ll be back soon and give everyone a detailed report of the stand, the game set up, and the prizes offered. Whether or not she will ask him to spot her some cash to play the game is a whole other story. (Brother is loaded just from playing football)

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England’s Manshine City: Chris Prince

I hate him

Pathetic man baby vibes

Chris is very aware of his personal hygiene and is ridiculously active in taking care of his body. He has a personal massager, esthetician, chiropractor, waxer, the works. He loves his physicality too much to let himself rust in any capacity. He almost never skips brushing his teeth or washing his face. If he isn’t fueled with a type of passion or desperate enough, he won’t kiss you in the morning until you both at least have some mouth wash. He carries two different deodorant scents in his practice bag. This is nice because you know he won’t ever smell bad, but sometimes he becomes cologne nose blind (especially on high end dates).

He has a beef with Americans. (I don’t know if he’s confirmed English but he is today) He doesn’t mock them or become outwardly rude to them, but he’s thankful to be in the European League and not the North American League (is that a real league? Google isn’t helping and I don’t know shit abt professional soccer leagues-) Chris goes bonkers when someone jokingly calls him an American; as he will be whining and waving his arms about how he’s so much better than them and how it insults his legacy to be compared to an American and not be acknowledged as an English man.

When his hair isn’t cooperating with him he cries out of frustration.

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Spain’s FC Barcha: Lavinho

Lavinho loves the feeling of dancing with his partner. It’s intimate and free, no matter what style nor if there was music or not. Lavinho is so fond of holding your hips and gently swaying the two of you in the silent hours of the night that he has a pep in his step when he walks home from practice. Your scent filling his nostrils, the heat he can feel coming from your neck and shoulder as he rests his head there, it’s all too perfect as he begins to hum a song to himself.

Lavinho would want to get a tattoo reminiscent of you. If yall ever were that serious. At first he was thinking of your name, but you shot that down quickly. Something more primal and colorful was more his style. He wants something that represents you, though. Y’all compromise on a couple things that fit both of your wishes. Your favorite flower, a kiss mark, and a woman dancing with a pair of wings emerging from her back. (Picture this omg. The woman could be bowing, in the middle of a dance move or smth and the wings are halfway out of her back. Or something like the woman looking up and outstretched and welcoming to the feeling around her. With the wings spread out powerful and graceful. Okay I’m done I’m done)

Lavinho loves being barefoot. If he can’t be barefoot, Lavinho is wearing open toed shoes. Chanclas, flip flops, Birkenstocks, doesn’t matter. He grew up like this, and doesn’t quite want to conform his freedom and customs to the world of Europe yet. Even if he has been living there for years. He gets so happy at feeling sand under his feet as well, it reminds him of his younger childhood days in the best way. (This is prolly canon bc the first time we see him he’s barefoot right?)

Am I becoming a Lavinho girl..?

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Italy’s Ubers: Marc Snuffy

I don’t like him but I don’t hate him-

He says ‘shitty brats’ too much in the same breath at the end of the Ubers vs BM match I think he unlocked his previous degradation kink or smth idek maybe that’s why

Okay focus

Mick Moon’s death still haunts Snuffy. He hasn’t truly let it go, and even though he seems to make progress during the Ubers vs BM match, he has a long way to go to fully come to peace with his best friend’s death. Most times Snuffy can’t drink alcohol without thinking of Mick and becoming guilty. All the thoughts of how he could have saved Mick from his fate, how he did try but it wasn’t enough, how he allowed for his best friend to ruin his own life- even though that meant Mick stayed true to his philosophy. It hurts Snuffy. It’s the main reason why Snuffy cares so deeply for his teammates now, and why he goes out of his way to make sure they are okay mentally in his own way.

Snuffy wasn’t that interested in the luxury of lust that came from women when he first started out on his dream to being a professional footballer. It wasn’t until Mick that he started indulging in being a lady’s man. While it was almost always lustful and physical, the women that tugged at his heartstrings were the ones that would compliment Snuffy’s nose. The ones that would hold his face to their chest and give him slow, loving kisses to his nose while their hands moved further up into his hair. The ones that knew his eyes were actually orange and not brown and how those women looked into his sharp, big eyes like he was the reason for all their happiness was surreal. Those instances it would become all too real for Snuffy. The lines between lust and something more would get blurred and blurred until he got scared and backed away and moved to the next lady in the next club with a smaller smile than before.

Snuffy is very proud of his black belt in Jujitsu. Especially with the way it helps him on the football field. His understanding of his own body and abilities mean more to him than the average person too. Also because of Mick and how Mick ignored his body both before and after getting let go as a footballer.

Okay, Snuffy isn’t that bad I guess-

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Germany’s Bastard Munchen: Noel Noa

My man my man my man

Let me give you a big smooch

Noel sunburns so easily. He never tans, he always burns a hot pink. He has but an ounce of melanin in his skin that prevents him from being totally albino. Because of this, he is very serious and methodical about applying sunscreen. He applies daily, especially when he knows he’ll be outside for practice or a game. He also isn’t that fond of costal activities because of the sun exposure, even more so because he can’t swim that well. (OMG I read a little blurb about Noel not being able to swim but his wife loved to I don’t know who wrote it but it was so cute I’ll try to find the writer)

He does interviews for football, but finds them rather bland and not that important. He likes to discuss football strategies and profile analysis he’s done of other players, but most of the time reporters aren’t that interested in his words. They always want to know more intimate details about him, it feels like to Noel. Just not his exact cup of tea, but he knows other players are always willing to talk in an interview so he leaves the chitter to them if he can. He likes for his actions on the field to speak for him.

Noel makes an effort to acknowledge stray animals if he can. The cat sitting on the restaurant sill? He gave it some head scratches before continuing his walk. The dog that always lays in the same sunny spot of concrete on the sidewalk? Noel has given him some water just yesterday. It feels as though he’s paying homage to their sacrifices by giving them small acts of domesticity as he was once a stray too. He still feels like one sometimes. At night when he’s awake in his bed thinking, he ponders the possibility of taking one of the many strays home with him. He won’t allow himself to though. He can’t stoop so low as to take an animal into a home that he knows he’ll be absent enough from them (his football commitment sigh) to not properly take care of them, his head reasons, even if his heart wants him to act so unrationally.

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This biscuit is just for you, mwah 😽

8.6.24

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

hi ! i was wondering if it would be okay to ask you to write a hc, however long you please, about the m6 setting off a trigger for mc?

i love your content, you’re the best :3 !

The Arcana HCs: When M6 accidentally trigger MC

CW for descriptions of panic attacks, references to being burned alive/MC canon backstory, and your LI feeling very guilty

-- to set the scene --

It was just a midnight cupcake.

You already knew there were plans for your birthday in the morning, which is why it was such a surprise to see your beloved stealing into the darkened room at midnight with a small excited smile and a single cupcake with one lit candle. For a moment, everything's perfect. Cozy, sweet, calm, if a little blurry from the sleep in your eyes.

Until you reach up to rub the sleep out of them, and when you bring your hands down, the flame of the candle is right in front of your face where you least expect it.

Your beloved's invitation to blow it out and make your first wish goes unheard as your sleepy brain catapults itself into fight-or-flight. Your limbs seize with panic as the flame grows a hundred times the size in your mind, the dimly lit room turning into the yawning darkness of the Lazaret. Your breath comes short and fast and you can't talk - you can't speak - you can't tell them you're not dead yet, you're not dead yet -

Julian

Recognizes the symptoms of panic instantly but is a little confused about why - he doesn't recall you being afraid of midnight treats

Of course, this doesn't hinder him from helping you at all. He's a doctor. He doesn't stop to ask why when there is clearly something wrong and you need his help

Putting the cupcake down (candle still lit) on a nearby surface right away so he can focus completely on you

Being as tactile as he is, his next movements are to lay two large, cool, steady hands on your shoulders and give you just enough pressure to ground you long enough to listen to him

Breathe. You need to breathe. Listen to him while he counts, and he'll get you through this safe and sound

Nobody beats this doctor's bedside manner. His voice is soothing, steady, and just persuasive enough to help you follow his instructions as he walks you through several grounding techniques

Once the panic has passed and you're mentally back in the safety of your room, though, that's when his own questions begin

What set it off? Was it ... was it something he did? It was, wasn't it? Was it trying to talk at midnight? Did he walk towards you too fast?

You can see horror dawning across his face when he puts two and two together, whether because you tell him or because he guesses. He's ready to spend the rest of the night condemning himself

You already know that it'll take much more than accepting his apology to convince him that things are alright

Which mostly takes the form of responding to every apology with a thank you for getting you through the panic, and coming up with ways to let him take care of you

Will propose triggering him in return, to make it even (don't do it)

Asra

Realizes what's happening as it's happening because being fully tuned in to you is second nature at this point and oh no - oh no

Hastily blowing out the candle and summoning some gentle lights instead, reaching out to hold you and try to make it better and worrying as they do so that it'll only make it worse

Thankfully, his touch has been soothing for as long as you can remember. He's tracing a slow square on your palm to breathe in time with, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close

Draping the closest blanket or shawl around your shoulders, using magic to cool the temperature of the room enough to avoid any uncomfortable warmth

Quietly pulling you out of the flashback and back into the mundane, safe present by asking you the simplest questions

Is that a triangle or a circle they're tracing on your knee? Are they touching your right hand, or your left hand? Can you count how many fingers they're holding up? How about now?

When you're back and your breathing is normal again, the silence is tense. He knows what set you off - and he still blames himself for leaving you to a fate like that, even if he fought to change it after

They're quick to try to brush it off, focusing on making you comfortable and lulling you back to sleep to avoid addressing it

But given how inextricably twined the two of you are at this point, you're not the only person who's been triggered by this

Holding him close as well and telling him it's not his fault will result in wide-eyed, vulnerable look, a slow sag in his shoulders, a shared slump into bed together to remember that you're both alive and ok

They are also extremely resilient, and will wake up on your birthday morning ten times lighter for the release and ready to celebrate

Nadia

She's not entirely certain that the flame is what set you off, but she's pretty sure it is and she's already scolding herself internally for putting it so close to your face

Setting the treat down, blowing out the candle as she does and immediately trying to talk to you and figure out what you need

No, she's not an expert on helping with panic attacks, but she likes to think she's an expert on you, and she is dedicated to giving you the best. Talk to her, if you can -

Oh. Oh dear, it seems you can't

She's taking her cues from you, positioning herself where she takes up most of your field of vision, using her capacity to take control and make you feel safe to help you focus

Cupping your face between two manicured, strong hands, stroking her thumbs along your cheekbones and telling you in a rich, authoritative voice to take some breaths, good job darling, another

Slowly bringing you down and practically gluing herself to your side so you don't have to feel alone in this for one moment

At the same time, she's trying not to let you see how her forehead is wrinkling up from the worry and disappointment she feels in herself. How could she do this to you?

Her worst fears are confirmed when she insists on helping you verbally process what just happened, shouldering the guilt of having hurt you and of not taking a moment to think first earlier

She doesn't forgive herself easily when she feels like she's failed in her duty to care for her loved ones. It's a great moment to remind her that care goes both ways and doesn't have to be perfect

Still needs to ramp up her efforts to pamper you over the following days to prove that she can take good care of you

Muriel

Oh, this is his worst fear coming true, and if the guilt of triggering you wasn't enough, he already feels bad for wanting to walk away to work through his own triggers coming to light

He's not going to walk away. Not from you. He just feels bad that he wants to, when you already put up with so much from him

None of the above thought processes slow down his response. The cupcake is being put to the side. He's crouching in front of you and searching for the earliest "ok" to touch you since he knows it helps

And then he's scooping you up, getting you to the safest part of the hut (in the bed, scooted all the way into the corner) so he and Inanna can sandwich you in a warm, heavy, safe embrace

He's tucking your favorite carving into your palm, layering a heavy fur over your shoulders, pressing your hand to his chest so you can feel his deep breathing and mimic it

He doesn't trust his voice, and words are hard anyways, but he knows how to speak with his actions and he'll do whatever works best to tell you that you are safe

And, if you need to talk about it as you start to breathe easy again, he'll listen as much as he needs to to tell you you're heard

Of course, once the crisis has passed and you're doing better, the urge to isolate himself is stronger than ever. His own worst fear came true in hurting you, and that was in an act of love alone

He didn't even need to touch you to cause distress

Until you're both able to fall asleep, the time passes as you trade comfort and grounding, taking turns to reassure each other that the past holds no threat to your present and future

He's not going to ask you to start or tend the fire for a long time, though. That's his job now

Portia

She's frozen in shock for all of five seconds when you start to panic, simply because it's so completely unexpected

Shoves the cupcake aside completely forgotten on a fire-safe surface so she can take your hands in hers and squeeze them enough to make you look at and listen to her

Lowkey panicking because she has patience, sure, but she has very little experience sitting with anyone through something like this besides her older brother, who she usually just slaps out of it

She's going to fix her mistake of making your environment feel threatening by making it feel safe instead

She's shoving Pepi into your lap, wrapping a heavy quilt around your shoulders, trying to find a balance of lighting that's as soothing and cozy and grounding as possible

All while she inwardly battles feelings of worthlessness with uncharacteristic levels of quiet

She's sure her older brother would be more reassuring, with all that worldly knowledge under his belt - or the Countess, who knows exactly how to take charge and make everything better

She's in front of you with your hands in hers, watching you with total faith in your ability to survive and overcome, feeling a little too much like her five-year-old self guarding Ilya from the tooth fairy

Helpless. She feels helpless. And worse, she got you into this mess because she didn't know you well enough

Seeing you pull through and return to your usual self (albeit very tired) is enough to lift her spirits, but it's the way you still want her to sleep next to you that starts to give her hope

She still apologizes multiple times as she's falling asleep

And she's not letting anyone else use this trigger against you, ever

Lucio

He's plenty familiar with symptoms of panic. He grew up on a battlefield and has plenty of suppressed trauma, he knows what being triggered looks and feels like

That said, he's caught entirely off guard because it's a cupcake with a candle in it!! Since when was that scary?? This was supposed to be a sweet romantic gesture, not a horror show -

Oh right right right you're panicking and it's probably his fault and oh no he's familiar with this but that doesn't mean he's good at helping with it, he needs backup

Mercedes and Melchior are already on it. Their doggy senses have one of them curling around your back while the other crawls into your lap, offering their silky smooth fur to touch and soothe you

Lucio is putting the cupcake down to be quickly forgotten so he has his hands free to try to help, doing the things that he's noticed calm you down on a regular basis

Bringing you your favorite blanket, patting you on the back in a steady rhythm so you know he's right there if you need a hug, telling you it's okay to cry, he'll keep you nice and safe

And dedicating every speck of his being to some good quality cuddles if you need them, because he doesn't take a moment of your wellbeing for granted. He's holding you as tightly as needed

There is the aftermath, of course. He won't stop asking until you tell him why you panicked, and then he'll be faced with knowing he's somewhat responsible for both fires

He's actually pretty used to being the guilty party at this point. There's always the fear, deep down, that he'll run out of grace, but as soon as you forgive him he fully believes you

None of this is stopping him from partying hard for you tomorrow

[oh-saints]

Hi I don’t know if you’ll get this but I have an idea for Rúben Dias, he starrs crushing on the female photographer for Man City and his teammates start teasing him, he doesn’t want to admit his feelings because he thinks the photographer is dating someone ( but she’s actually single and is just introverted)

aaaaahh this feels close to home bcs i'd gotten mistaken so many times by men due to my introvert nature /sigh

silent

rúben should really stop interpreting things out of hand on his own and start asking the right questions instead.

rúben dias x photographer!you

wc: 2.7k

note: here's is my comback piece! (is that even a valid word?) i actually had this idea in mind for a while and i love writing this bcs i can see he could make this kind of cute mistake! this actually hits closer to home, too, considering that i'm an intovert as well LOL but as usual, I happen to write at dawn so this is not beta-read yet.

happy new year too, everyone! i wish you'll have a blessed year ahead <3

“cupcakes!”

you groaned inwardly, that must be jack grealish. only the 100-million man would call you with overly sweet pet names like that, and he did it so often no matter how many times you corrected him that you had a real name during the first month of your employment here. now entering your third month, you’ve long given up, but you’d renamed his contact to be jack greasy on your phone.

“come sit over with us!”

unlike your nickname, though, you hadn’t given up on his persistent request to sit amongst his set of friends because good lord could they be so boisterous their laughter sounded more like a boom in your ears sometimes. their energy simply went off the roof and your introvert self could never handle it well.

you’d have your time to photograph everyone in the bus later anyway, so you gave him a polite smile, without another word, and proceeded to sit down beside your fellow media team.

you could hear jack screaming protest “aw, come on, cupcakes!” as you took your seat. his friends were laughing on his face at your rejection.

if you have your way, though, you’d badly want to be assigned to the calmer tide of the bus. the likes of julian, kevin, bernardo were more suitable for your kind. but being the one responsible for the disposable camera and all of city’s short off-pitch videos, jack and his circus were more than a matchmade in heaven for a better result.

before you had more complaints to mull over, your colleagues turned to face you and started babbling about an upcoming short video the both of you would have to make. the plot, the script, down to deciding who’d be best to be asked for to star in the video.

“i think rúben dias would do just fine.”

being a newbie, you nodded along the names he mentioned because in all honesty, you didn’t exactly know who is who and which is which until now. two months splattered all over the men’s and the women’s team, as well as the academy, was pretty much a guarantee you’d missed out on someone.

but you always, no matter how busy you are, spared some time to browse on the player before you met them, in case it was someone you should be worried for, or someone you should be thankful of for their media-darling persona, or someone you should be working twice as hard because they didn’t know what to do. worse, someone you’d worked together before but you forgot.

for rúben dias, though… you didn’t know which one of the categories above fitted him best. you were rendered speechless at your search bar result. you could bet your entire month salary that he was someone you had yet the chance to create a content together because if he already did, you wouldn’t have that face of his wiped off your brain.

which was exactly why you should be worried.

you had never worked with someone that looks like adonis when he decides to ascend himself from olympus. or so you’d like to think rúben was what adonis would’ve looked like if greek mythology happens to be true.

sadly, nobody warned you that he was even more beautiful up close, as he strutted his way to your creator team, with a tousled hair he kept tussling against, as well as the bright smile and warm laugh he’d drop here as he went through pre-production brief. his voice was so melodic it soothed all the soreness to your eardrums—thanks to jack grealish—in one simple video production, and you mentally thought you could replay the edited video later whenever you needed to go to sleep, like an asmr or some sort, because it really felt like a blanket on a rainy day.

your heart ached at the sight because my goodness… he was simply too beautiful for your own good.

it shouldn’t be doing all that jumping and leaping and drumming, though, because those were the early signs of you getting biased.

and it could only mean one thing in every professional language possible: bad.

with your very generous pay check on the line, you couldn’t afford to fail. so that day, you made a promise to yourself to do what you had to do, and thankfully it was what your introvert self do best.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

while you knew what to do, rúben—on the contrary—seemed lost.

no, the portugese was lost.

contrary to popular belief, footballers are actually smart. at least, if they are not book smart, they’re definitely street smart. rúben would like to think he’s got a bit of both worlds, so it could justify his own judgement of you.

his eyes were keen, as his job required him to do so, and he’s got an incredible sensing, enough to read a gigantic elephant in the room when there was one. the combination scanned your change in attitude on the day he first worked with you and the present time.

you were so friendly and eager to work with him, welcoming his extended hand as he introduced himself to you for the first time. he remembered your smile, blinding against the bleak manchester weather but instead of feeling cold, he only felt warmth and fuzzy all over his body.

but as the filming session went on, your smile was close to non-existent, just like the probability of the two of you running into each other again. he initially thought it was only because you got so many takes already and the job exhausted you, but he later realised you were avoiding him. as subtle as you could anyway.

at the beginning, he only thought you missed the way he waved at you. or the time when he thought you put his row of seat last for a mandatory picture in your disposable camera, for aesthetics’ sake.

the time when he offered you a ride home, though—that was the final confirmation. the weather had started snowing on some days, and you were certainly freezing by the look of your shivering shoulders and teetering teeth, so rúben offered you a ride home. but you turned down the offer, ever so politely like usual. yes, yes of course you had the rights but the most logical thing was to accept them instead of waiting for the next bus, no?

(oh, believe him, he knew she was waiting. he managed to parked far away from your sight but close enough to see that you did indeed wait for the next bus to arrive and take you to the nearest station. he knew, and he remembered that day because it was the only day he had to fight himself from running down the street just to give you another layer of coat.)

his first instinct was to think that he’d wronged you somehow during the filming. was he demanding? was he not up to your par of filming standard? was he not good enough for your cameras?

but james, your fellow co-worker, the one who worked together with you for this project, gave him an utterly confused look. “have you seen how the videos turned out? you were brilliant, rúben. and no, i don’t think i’ve heard any concerns from her about your ethics.”

so what did he still not do right that could’ve upset you?

rúben didn’t like where this was going because you’ve kept him intrigued. you kept him on his toes, bouncing lightly like a child full of curiosity. you kept him thirsty for more information about you and what makes you tick, lowkey in hope to bring out the smile rúben himself didn’t know he had missed seeing.

and if he discovered that he did indeed upset you somehow, and was somehow responsible for the disappearance of your shy smile, then he’d like to right them right away. he has to.

with that mentality, rúben took the chance to clock out earlier—which was like the seventh wonder of the world around etihad academy—in order to catch a glimpse of you on your off-work routine. he’d set himself resolved to only ask necessary questions, not more nor less, without any hidden agenda. no wishy washy, unlike his previous trials.

rúben did actually catch you for a split second. his beak was already opening, he’d only needed his voice box to produce the sound to the question in his mind, but the scene unravelled before him halted everything in him. every particle of his body, every molecule of his brain.

a black car swerved into the lane to the lobby, a pretty prestigious car at that, and the way your face lit up so brightly reminded him of the day you first worked together. it was a sight that rúben missed, it was a sight that rúben longed to see again.

he was so blinded by the ethereal view that he completely forgot his own plan, and watched as the black car swallowed his portion of small happiness of the day.

was that your boyfriend? if yes, then did you take rúben’s friendliness as a romantical advance to you? if yes, then was that the reason why you immediately put up a china wall between you two? if yes, then was he that protective or was he simply possessive?

rúben couldn’t deny his own infatuation of you. maybe it was why he was adamant to right things good between the two of you. but if you did in fact have a boyfriend, then he should find a way to reduce and silence this growing feeling—be it really infatuation or merely curiosity.

“does she have a boyfriend?”

but desperate times need desperate measures, and rúben saw ‘the black car incident’ was his sign to speed things up in order to find a concrete answer. even if it included asking jack grealish about you.

jack snorted, rather snobby. “how would i know, mate?”

“i thought you guys are close.”

“your definition of close is concerning,” jack replied as he shut his locker. “why don’t you ask her yourself? aren’t you the type to just charge at it first, think later?”

“i would’ve if she didn’t give me a cold shoulder.”

“have you tried?”

rúben was the one who didn’t hold back his snort this time. “of course i did.”

“then maybe you were asking the wrong question, mate.”

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

as much as rúben hated to confess that jack actually had a point, he had to give hands down. he might be asking the wrong question, he might be asking too much question, he might be asking the right question with the wrong approach.

bottom line, he’d concluded himself that he had to try until he succeeded. each time in different approach, different variables. logically speaking, it should take him somewhere for a clue. if it didn’t, it should at least tire you enough to have you spell the answer to his queries.

rúben had gathered enough information that you and your team had wrapped up filming for christmas and new year’s content, complete with kids involved and all. you were supposed to stay in the editing room, and working late on it because there was a teaser—which fell into your line of work under “short videos”—to be uploaded tomorrow evening.

he purposefully slowed his pace for anything that did not require physical activities and trainings, resulting in him also staying late to finish some of his homework—his affectionate nickname for video trainings he’d like to execute at home, in the comfort of his abode and plush suede pillows—so he could match your pace of work. he planned to catch you off guard the same way as ‘the black car’ incident.

at 8, you finally went out of your cave, precisely like his little rat had informed him before. so of course, you were startled to find rúben already standing against the railing in front of your office.

“rúben,” your voice got stuck in your throat but rúben thought it was a cute squeak. it was also a better response, rúben thought, too. you could’ve spat at him or shooed him away immediately. “what are you doing here?”

“i’m—” rúben thought about lying for a second, but he decided it’d contribute nothing to a start of a friendship. yes, friendship, because it was the bare minimum, no? “i’m waiting for you.”

your eyes widened, and that was when rúben noticed the golden specks on the orbs of your eyes. heartbreakingly stunning, solely because rúben only noticed this now.

you shifted the weight of your body from your right leg to your left one, and rúben found it endearing because he noticed that was an early sign an introvert—you, in this case—was starting to get nervous or uncomfortable. rúben hoped it was the former because that’d put you as cute as an awkward lone penguin.

“is there anything i can help you with?”

“yes, i’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

with his devastatingly beautiful look, his velvet voice and his intensely deep brown eyes, your heart palpitated so fast and so irregular that you were afraid rúben could see them falling and getting back into its designated place like a bungee jumper.

or maybe the rope snapped on its way down and never found its way up again, depending on the question about to be fired at you. at this point, your mind went funnily white, and you were ready to succumb into either pressure or temptation, depending on the question he’d fire you with.

“do you hate me?”

you seemed perplexed at his blatant question, but he’d take that reaction over anything else because it was something, especially compared to the invisible wall you’d put up since the first time you both had worked together.

“do you?” rúben pressed his voice gently, while he took a step closer to you. slowly but assertively.

the movement snapped you back to reality. you should not heed into pressure, but there was no use in lying because in reality, you really had no reason to hate him. if you had your chance, you would’ve done things the other way around.

“no, i don’t.”

another step closer. “but have you ever hated me?”

realising the 6-feet centre back was doing, you involuntarily moved backwards in the same amount of steps that he did, albeit the distance reached was certainly and significantly a huge gap you could never keep. “no, rúben—”

before you could finish your sentence, he obliterated every single space left in between the two of you and cornered you to the nearest wall. “then do you like me?”

you should be running, you should be fleeing, you should be screaming down the hill. you should be anywhere but here, trapped in between the long, strong and sturdy pair of his arms, the very same one he used to defend himself and the ball from the opponent. the very same one your eyes couldn’t lie but appreciate its masculinity.

rúben noticed the miniscule movement of your eyes, despite your tightened body language, and it brought a little smile on the corner of his lips. maybe he had indeed asked all the wrong question in all the previous times he’d had the chance.

“tell me,” rúben then pronounced your name in the way no one else could, so soft and velvet like a fine cashmere being caressed against your eardrums, that shivers ran down your entire body as if you were struck by a lightning. “please tell me that, at least.”

so paradoxic, you thought inwardly at the sensation. and you supposedly hated the way he confused you, but you didn’t this time—you didn’t even detest the way he seemed enjoying this whole thing, by the way he pulled of a subtle smirk that busted your knees slowly but surely—and it made you even more crazy because what the hell was this?

you tried to mask it off by looking him straight in the eyes. well, tried to, at least, because the moment your eyes were connected with the milkiest brown orbs that reminded you of a hot chocolate on a wintry day, you couldn’t help but look away. “what do you want me to say?”

rúben didn’t fight a full smile from blooming on his face, as the tip of his finger aligned your face gently to face his. he really likes the fact you gave him a fair fight to remain indifferent still, even when everything else of your body failed to be your auxiliary. “do you like me?”

“i do—”

“then would you like to have a dinner with me tonight?”

[bunnyluvx]

the hanged man.

featuring: julian devorak x gn!reader. (w/ asra!)

summary: the morning after the dock talk.

warnings: death mention. nothing else.

a/n: HELLO SWEETIES!! i present thee with my first fanfiction!! all of my other content has been hcs/imagines up until this point and i am very excited about it! i did not expect for my first fanfic on here to be angst but i got so giddy about this idea that i couldn't wait. i am about to finish nadia's route and omg i am so nervous???? literally one more book, then i find out which ending i got. i REALLY want her reversed ending but will not be completely displeased if i get her upright ending. we shall see within the next couple of days. thank you to the ppl who gave constructive criticism to help me better this fanfic!! proofread. now enjoy your angst >:3

date started: 10:24PM, july 4th, 2024. date finished: 9:30PM, july 8th, 2024.

divider credit: @thecutestgrotto

wc: 1.9k

Sun pours in through the window beside your bed. It tickles your skin, urging you to wake from your slumber. The light tries to pull the covers off of you as the day calls your name, but you do not answer. You lay curled up on your side, blankets huddled around you in a cocoon. You don't carry the usual motivation that you have to get up and get things done, not today. All you want to do is hide in the blankets away from the world and stay there forever. So many emotions that are far too heavy for you to carry weigh on your shoulders, and if sleeping forever was an option, you would have dozed back off by now. But the sun is persistent in its mission at waking you, so your eyes begrudgingly peel open.

Your sight is welcomed by the same view that you have been greeted with every morning for the past three years. You lay still for a moment to take everything in. So much has happened ever since the countess asked that you take on the task of finding Count Lucio's killer, Doctor Julian Devorak. The first time that you met him, he had broken into your shop, and you found him again at the Rowdy Raven. Somehow, you managed to run into him again after a few weeks, one thing led to another, and you had fallen in love with the very man that you had sworn to catch for hanging. This romance did not last you very long, for last night, he left you. He told you that he was a disaster waiting to happen, that he didn't want to hurt you. He was so convinced that if you chose him, you would have chosen a horrible fate, and he couldn't let you do that to yourself. He walked you home, and while having dinner with Asra after speaking about your day, you broke. You had spent most of that night in tears with them at your side the entire time, holding you and rubbing your back to comfort you.

You turn around to see Asra exactly where he was when you had fallen asleep; At your side, on their back with their arm extended out to you incase you wanted to curl up against them. He had warned you about Julian, and his words echo in the back of your head. "The only thing he loves more than drama is his own suffering. And he's determined to chase both." You reflect on the way that he spoke of himself when he was fighting with himself about leaving you, and you find it so hard to believe that Julian is anything like how he sees himself. With the little time that you had spent together, you can see Julian's big heart, one that is kind and adventurous and full of love for the people around him. Despite everything that happened in his past, whatever it was, you can't see him as anything more than someone you want to love.

Enough is enough. You cannot lay here and sulk all day, even though that's all you really want to do. Slowly, you manage to sit up from bed, careful with your movements so that you don't wake Asra. You decide to go downstairs to make some tea for yourself, since it always makes you feel better. You trudge to the shop below, still groggy from slumber, and grab the teapot before waking the salamander and politely asking to light a fire for you. The fire flares up, and you make your favorite brew.

After you make your tea, you delicately take the mug into your hands and blow on it before having a sip. A content sigh escapes your lips as your eyes close, savoring the taste on your tongue. You take another slow sip before your eyes open, looking around the shop that you have learned like the back of your hand. You figure that you'll probably need to open up today, which you don't think will be too much of a problem. Standing around won't do you much good, you think, so you decide to stand outside for some fresh air. You make your way to the door and open it, one foot is about to step out of the door when you stop upon seeing something just under your foot. You move it back into the shop, then lean over and see..a letter? Your name is written on the front in handwriting that you have seen in the palace's library, and you know exactly who it's from.

You scoop the letter up from the floor before dashing inside, slamming the door behind you before rushing to the front counter. Anxiety swirls around within your stomach hotly, and your hands slightly tremble as you rip open the letter. You free the paper from its prison and unfold it, then begin to read.

My Dear,

I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay away from you. At the time that I am writing this letter, it has only been a couple of hours since I dropped you back off at the shop. The moment that I walked away, all I wanted to do was come running back to you. My heart was screaming at me to turn around, to ask you to come with me, wherever that meant for us to have gone. I guess that just proves how selfish I am, or maybe just how alluring you are. In the end, the decision that I made was for the better of both of us. We could never be together, no matter how badly we want differently.

Believe me when I say that I did not want this to end the way it has. I have never wanted to cause you harm or heartache. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life taking your pain away. But I have only one purpose in this life, and that is to hurt. I am destined to bring misery to everyone in my life, and to live alone. Choosing a future with me would mean to choose a future full of disappointments, and I do not want to disappoint you anymore. I do not want to disappoint anyone anymore. So I will not burden you with my presence. You will be able to go on with your life, chasing a future that will not wind up with you getting hurt. You are the last person that I want to drag into my mess, so I have to let you go.

Though our time together was short, I enjoyed it all. Every moment with you made me feel more alive than I have ever felt before. It is not often that I find someone who is willing to get into some mischief with me, so finding you and sharing the experiences that we had together is something that I am very grateful for. I am grateful that you allowed me to be in your company for as long as you did, and I am grateful for the kindness and care that you showed me. You have such a gentle, beautiful soul, and everyone who has ever crossed paths with you are the luckiest people on planet to have been able to experience your presence.

I could go on about how lovely you are. You have so much love to give, and you are caring. You had the capacity to care for me, and for that, I am grateful. One day, I can only hope that you will understand that leaving you was for your benefit. I do not want to bring you the suffering that I have brought so many others, so I will spare you of myself. I am struggling to believe that this decision is the right one, honestly. All I can think about is running back to your shop and breaking in again to tell you how sorry I am, and to beg for your forgiveness. That's something that we are going to have to find out together, I guess.

Forever Yours,

Dr. Julian Devorak

You don't know how long tears have been falling down your face. Your chest feels tight, like it's about to burst, and you can't breathe. A hand hovers over your mouth as you stare in horror at the paper in your hand. Too many emotions crash into you all at once for you to even begin processing the words in front of you. You couldn't believe that this is how it's ending between you and Julian. You know that part of why he feels this way about himself is because he has no memory of the night that he allegedly murdered Count Lucio. However, there is also the opposite end of that spectrum; He doesn't remember. There could be a chance that he didn't actually kill the count, and if that's the case, then you need to figure out what actually happened that night. Your blood runs overwhelmingly hot inside you as you ruminate on Julian's irresolution. You feel like you shouldn't even be this upset about someone that you didn't even have a solid relationship with, but you can't ignore the agonizing stabbing feeling in your heart. He could be innocent, but he is more willing to live his life wallowing in his own guilt than to live knowing that the baggage that he is carrying is unneeded.

You are unable to control your body any longer as you collapse to your knees, your loud sobbing betraying the anger that you stirred inside you just moments ago. A brief feeling of regret is drawn from you for even thinking of being angry, leaving as soon as it comes to be replaced with desolation. Grief for what could have been, for what you so desperately wanted this to be, overwhelms you. Shrieks from your voice scream into the empty shop as you hold the letter to your chest with both arms, your torso leaning forward in a fetal position on the floor.

Footsteps scatter down the stairs, and familiar eyes lay upon you. Your cries have awakened Asra, and they are at your side within seconds. His hands are on your shoulders and he sits on the floor with his feet under his butt, his knees propping him up. They watch worriedly as you heave and wail, only when you sit up do they see the letter in your hand. He doesn't say anything, for he knows exactly what has happened. Their eyes darken before they return their focus to you, you are far more important right now. You cry out to whatever spirit will listen, and collapse into Asra's arms. A strong embrace comes around you, only protecting you so much from the hurt of your heart.

You cannot understand what is going inside of Julian's head for the life of you. You do not understand why he feels such a strong need to push you away when all you want is to love him. He has admitted to wanting the same thing, so you feel so confused as to why he just won't let you. You find it difficult to believe that he truly hates himself so much, that he despises the very person that you see so much good in. The fact that he hates someone who took on a curse in which he takes on other's wounds because of his own guilt baffles you. A future without Julian is not a future that you want, but it is what he believes that he deserves. He believes that he deserves to walk the world alone for the rest of his life, and despite the fate that he has condemned himself to, something muffledly admits to you that it is not what he is bound to live.

@BUNNYLUVX ,, all rights reserved. do not copy/plagiarize any of my works or submit it into ai.

[jreamsims]

𝐊 𝐈 𝐍 𝐆 𝐆 𝐄 𝐎 𝐑 𝐆 𝐄 𝐥𝐥𝐥 // ​S I M D O W N L O A D

"I'm George... Just George."

I created this mans back in may 2023 when I was soo inspired by all of the tiktoks featuring him and his quotes. Then, I watched the show and balled my eyes out. - The End -

No, but seriously, there were a few people who liked when I created him back on tiktok in 2023 and asked for him to be available for download, but I completely forgot to put him up/took a fat break from the sims. Anddd, my sims style has changed so much just within a year so I decided to re-create him into my current style <3

hope ya'll enjoyyy,

🇩​ ​🇴​ ​🇼​ ​🇳​ ​🇱​ ​🇴​ ​🇦​ ​🇩

huuuge thank you to all the cc creators !! - using julian hair by @simandy <3

[leiatalon]

hi hi! just played through both IFs and i loooooved both of them so much!! great balance of story/romance <3 i was wondering if you had any faceclaims for the ROs in both books??

Hi! What a wonderful ask! I'm thrilled to hear you enjoyed Ink and Intrigue and Their Majesties' Pleasure! Thank you so much for saying so!

I actually had to look up faceclaims. 🤣 Yes, I'm old-ish.

I don't really have a celebrity cast or anything for my characters. The only solid FCs I have to share are the illustrations I used as inspiration for Prince Galen and Prince Julian while writing TMP. These beauties are on my wallpaper, staring at me with intensity whenever I manage to close or hide all my programs. I love them so! This art is by Asha Venger and shared with permission. I would LOVE to commission art for my WIP characters from her! Gah! It would be an absolute dream. These are actually Celengorm and Curufin from LotR.

As for the rest of the characters, I try to describe them as best I can in the stories and let the reader imagine as they will. The game art by Adrien Valdes is really well done. I provided a bunch of images as guides for the artist, including the ones above, but the other examples are from artists I don't have permission to share, or AI art used out of desperation to give Adrien a guide to follow. (I won't share AI art publicly for obvious reasons.) Here is the game art for each of my games, just so we can have it all in one place and admire the pretties!

I love this art. Really truly.

Though I'd still love to get more character art commissioned for TMP and INK, I'm hoping to have a patreon up soon so I can start saving for character commissions for my next project.

Thanks so much for the ask!

[bellaxgiornata]

Honestly I cannot believe that I've been on tumblr for just over a year now and somehow there's already so many of you wonderful people here that are reading, enjoying, and supporting my silly little fics. When I jumped over here from AO3, I had not anticipated how much fun I was going to have getting to chat with all of y'all while also sharing my stories with those of you who aren't on AO3. I've definitely made some wonderful friends this past year because of tumblr and I just want to say thank you to everyone for the support. I always mean it when I say y'all are the reason I keep writing these stories 💖

I could certainly get sappier but instead I'll just invite y'all to join me for my first ever celebration! There's a few fun things below the cut that y'all can pop up with in my ask box starting today May 3 through Wednesday May 8! I tried to think of some interesting things that I could realistically make time to do with everything currently going on in my life, especially because I'm also still trying to stockpile rough drafts for many of my stories so that I can still have updates during my upcoming "writing hiatus" (that I'll explain more about later). My plan is to answer things as they come in and hopefully have them all finished shortly after the celebration ends. And once the celebration finally ends, I'm hoping to give y'all an update to a story or a one shot!

Hopefully this will be fun for everyone!

Let's Chat! - Feel free to send me an ask about anything at all! No, seriously. You want to tell me about your day? An upcoming vacation or exciting accomplishment of yours? Do it! Or maybe you want to ask me questions about one of my stories or my writing process? Hell, feel free to ask me about myself, chat about coffee, music, books, pets, whatever!

Discuss Headcanons with Me! - Have any headcanons about Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, or Michael Kinsella that you want to chat about or share with me? Send them in! Or are you interested in a headcanon I might have about one of them in a certain situation? Feel free to ask! We can chat about the boys!

Send Me Fake FFTD Installment Titles! - Create a title name for an installment for my Falling for the Devil series (ex. "The [insert title]") and I'll write a couple of sentences about what I could picture that installment being about! You win bonus points if you can actually stump me on coming up with a plot for your title. But also who knows, maybe some title suggestions could spark an idea for future updates...

Let's Play a Game! - We can play would you rather, have you ever, or fuck/marry/kiss (or kill). For the record, f/m/k can be with anyone from Daredevil, Punisher, Defenders, Kin, or even any of Charlie's characters that I'm familiar with (Matt, Michael, Owen, Henry, Tristan, or Adam) or those of Jon's that I'm familiar with (mainly Frank, Shane, or Julian). If you can think of another game feel free to play it with me!

Ask the Boys! - Do you enjoy my weird internal dialogues with fictional characters that probably make me sound crazy? Great! Feel free to send me an ask to either one or all of the fictional men that live in my head (Matt, Frank, and/or Mikey) and I'll relay whatever they respond with in something of a short internal dialogue!

Request a Sneak Peak! - Since I have been stockpiling quite a few WIPs and rough drafts for a couple of months now, I am open to y'all just requesting a sneak peak. If you do, I will share a snippet from a fic I choose at random from something that's either a fully finished rough draft or still a work in progress!

**You're more than welcome to participate multiple times, but all I ask is that you (1) send things in separate asks, (2) are not rude to me or anyone else, and (3) are 18+ to discuss anything spicy (this is an 18+ blog anyway so I'd hope everyone here already is).**

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

↻ FLIP FLOP: send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!

From Nightmare:

“Oh, that was great,” Bashir panted contentedly, seeming much more awake now. He propped himself up on his pillow. “Your skin felt different though, do you have a new moisturizer or…”

Bashir fell dead silent the moment he flicked the lights on.

“Sloan.” Shock and disgust and outrage radiated off of him in waves. Fuck, he looked so beautiful like this, more beautiful than could be believed. The betrayal in his eyes, the hurt twisting his lips...

But there was no time to admire the view. Sloan hesitated only for the time it took for him to smirk smugly around the fingers still in his mouth before activating the beam-out protocol. He held Bashir’s livid gaze until he’d faded from view.

Oh this is a tricky one but I will make an attempt! Thanks for the ask!!! <3

(for this ask game)

some warnings: consensual somnophilia (with Garak), non-consensual somno (with Sloan), sexual assault victim who is still in shock blaming himself for something that was absolutely not his fault (doing a consensual non-consent sort of kink is NOT "asking for it," julian. T_T but he probably knows this when he's not in the immediate aftermath of being raped)

He loved the occasions when Garak came to his quarters as he slept and slid into his bed to take what was on offer. He loved waking up to Garak's hands or mouth already on him, loved how desirable it made him feel, loved the combination of spontaneity and danger with familiarity and intimacy. He always got a twisted thrill during that first moment of sleep-hazy confusion about what was happening, followed by the comforting realization that it was his loving partner.

He'd first fantasized about somnophilia ever since Garak had woken him up for that trip to the Bajoran orphanage, before they were even together. When they'd tried it, he enjoyed it even more than he'd expected to, and so he'd long ago given him permission to do it any time (unless, of course, he left a signal that he wasn't up for it tonight).

Tonight was no exception. His sleepy ecstasy built and built until it all came cascading out into his lover's hand and he was left with a warm glow in his center. He was exhausted enough that he could probably sink right back into sleep if he tried, but he was buzzing with pleasure and he wanted to talk to Garak, who was being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Oh, that was great,” he said, propping himself up on his pillow. “Your skin felt different though, do you have a new moisturizer or…”

Then he turned the lights on.

Everything seemed to lurch sideways. Julian felt sick. The words dried up in his mouth as he saw the last person in the galaxy he would ever want to touch him.

"Sloan."

His assaulter just smirked at him, and then transported away while sucking his semen from his fingers.

Julian hugged his knees to his chest, shaking with angry tears. The violation felt worse because he felt like he'd brought it on himself. Had Sloan been watching him closely enough to know about his games with Garak? Had he thought he could get away with pretending to be him? Or had Sloan just randomly stumbled into the one way that Julian could be tricked into letting him touch him? He shuddered and curled in on himself tighter in shame. Either way, he'd practically been asking for something like this to actually happen, by asking Garak to play out these kinds of scenarios with him.

[bibastibootz]

Hello! First of all, I love your blog so much, you give off such warm, positive vibes :)

I wanted to ask if you would explain your head canons regarding Basti and Thorsten's sexualities a bit more? I've seen you refer to them as gay/bi respectively quite often and I would love to hear your reasonings and explanations behind that. (Not at all because I disagree, I'm just obsessed with the two of them and I think you'll have some very interesting takes on the topc!)

If you don't want to just ignore me :)

Hi! and thank you for this lovely ask, it put a really big smile on my face!! you're so kind! 😌 and OOHHHH do I have headcanons about Thorsten’s and Sebastian’s sexuality, I hope you’re ready!! 🔥 (I prefer making lists rather than writing articles, so I hope this still reads well enough)

schwuler Thorsten <3 It would be so easy to say that Thorsten is straight because he had a wife and a daughter back in Hamburg, but people who claim that aren't watching the show right. Here's why I think that a reading of him as a gay man is so so so so valid:

Susanne and Lilli: There are many ways to fit his late wife and daughter into this headcanon, so take your pick: He genuinely didn't know he was gay and started a family. He was in denial and started a family anyway. He was well aware of his homosexuality and maybe this was a mutual arrangement between him and Susanne. It was purely superficial.

(lack of) interest in women: Once Thorsten is in Stuttgart, he literally never shows any interest in any woman whatsoever (much to the dismay of his neighbour) and I do not remember him flirting with any woman ever. Also when asked about women, he literally answers, "Keine Ahnung, ich bin da kein Spezialist." A fortuneteller read his hand once and said: "Sie sind ein lebenslang Suchender. Besonders Frauen sind Ihnen ein ewiges Rätsel." and Thorsten replies, "Jetzt wird es vielleicht doch etwas zu persönlich." Hm. . . So Thorsten is sb who still hasn't found himself? And women are a mystery to him? Hm, gay. Also: Another relationship with a woman, much less so marriage, is so far off his radar that he proposed to Sebastian to start a "Alters WG".

often presumed gay: It is almost a running gag that people assume Thorsten is gay (except that the possibility of a gay Thorsten should not be the punchline). Julian Siebert in "Grabenkämpfe" assumes that Thorsten is gay. His boss while undercover in "Freigang" assumes that he's gay: "Bist du schwul oder warum sind hier keine Weiber?" Thorsten replies, "Schwul.", which the boss plays off as a joke.

casual, yet serious about queerness and other queer people: This is particularly striking in comparison to Sebastian because Thorsten seems so #woke about everything. He understands subtle and not so subtle nods and hints from other queer people but does not make a fuss about them and immediately recognizes queerness (as opposed to Sebastian): Once again "Grabenkämpfe," where Thorsten never jokes about Julian Siebert's obvious interest in him. Also in "Hart an der Grenze" Basti treats them playing a gay couple as a fun joke while Thorsten is very much not amused - and there is just sth in the way he treats the topic so seriously that makes it seem as if it real to him. In "Anne und der Tod" they interrogate clients and stand in front of an old man who has pictures of him and another man on his shelf and wall, and while Sebastian very innocently asks whether that's his brother or son, Thorsten's behavior suggests that he caught on instantly that the old man is in fact gay and that those are photos of him and his late partner.

actively against homophobia: When an old man makes a homophobic remark at him and Sebastian, he immediately grabs Sebastians hand to make that man uncomfortable and as a big fuck you and a way of saying, "Yeah people are queer, get over it, old man!!"

never denying, never clarifying: As much as men flirt with him or people assume he's gay, Thorsten never denies it and never clarifies that he is, in fact, heterosexual. Never! Best example is (once again) "Grabenkämpfe" when his neighbour spots Thorsten at a gay bar with another man and says that at least now she knows why he didn't have time for her - and Thorsten does not get defensive and screams sth like, "I'm not gay, I'm here for a case!", he just lets it slide. And remember when the Freigang boss derogatorily asked Thorsten whether he's gay but then later it seems that Thorsten had sex with a woman, to which the boss replies "Na egal, bin ja froh, dass du nicht schwul bist."? Thorsten once again does not outright say, "Genau, bin ich nicht." but instead replies, "Ich weiß." and looks sad and angry at this blatant portrayal of homophobia.

love confession: In "Die Nacht der Kommissare" Thorsten confesses his love to Sebastian while on drugs with a loud and clear "Sebastian? Ich liebe dich." He continues to confess his love to other men in that episode, but this "Ich liebe dich" feels very different, very sincere and from the heart. I like to read this scene as both a platonic and a romantic love confession.

There is probably so much more, but this is just from the top of my head. Moving on!

bi Basti <3 Sebastian is bi because it Just. Makes. Sense.!!!!!

the rise and fall of the Bootz family: I need to start with Julia and the kids because Sebastian is introduced as a happy, young family man who has basically achieved everything, both in his private life and career. His life as a husband and father is basically too perfect when we meet him, and of course it does crumble more and more into pieces with every new episode. We soon see tension in his and Julia's marriage, ultimately leading to their divorce and Sebastian's never-talked-about problem with alcohol and his separation anxiety. I encourage everyone to watch all the eps until "Spiel auf Zeit" as if Sebastian is falling out of love with Julia and in love with Thorsten (. . .is it possible to love two people at once? Good question, Sebastian).

Felix Klare supremacy: Even Felix Klare himself thought that Tatort was lacking diversity in terms of presentation of women and gay people back in 2013 and he advocated for becoming the first gay Tatort duo. Aber Richy wollte nicht. Tja.

bi in another universe: In "Tödliche Tarnung" we learn that Sebastian and Julia were once close to breaking up and Basti wonders how different his life could have been: "Julia, hast du dir schon mal überlegt, wie unser Leben verlaufen wäre, wenn, naja, wenn wir uns damals getrennt hätten?" Cue "Scherbenhaufen": When he is about to go undercover, he has to come up with a backstory for his character. And what does he do? Completely remove a wife and kids out of the picture and then says, "Ehrlich gesagt, ich hab sie dann mit meinem besten Freund betrogen." Kinda bi to make up a scenario in which he gets to be with Thorsten instead of Julia, if you ask me. And he looks so happy about it, too.

weird about queerness: Sebastian has always been weird about political correctness, and to me this reads as a defense mechanism, as a way to distance himself from queerness and treat it as sth "not concerning me". And yes, I do headcanon Basti as having serious internalized homophobia, why do you ask? I have yet to form proper thoughts about Basti's uncharacteristic compassion towards the gay man who has just lost his lover in "Vergebung", it feels so personally affected. What we can nevertheless witness, though, is some personal growth in that Sebastian is more comfortable with and knowledgable about queerness.

heteronormative worldview / hetcomp: Sebastian literally doesn't know that bisexuality exists. When he hears of married men (yes, there have been three such storylines. . . THREE!!!!) who had a secret lover on the side, he always assumes they were gay and never once considers bisexuality. Looping back to the Bootz marriage&divorce as well as the countless "secretly gay married men" trope, Basti is literally describing his life in "Vergebung" without acknowledging the parallels.

flirting with Thorsten: Of course, any straight man can flirt with his friends, but the way Sebastian does it is so "haha just joking!!! . . . unless 👀"-coded. First the pretend gay couple at the adoption agency, then another pretend gay couple in the waiting room, then the queer undercover persona plot twist. And look how flustered he gets when he gets flirted with.

honorable mentions: bi lighting, bi sitting, bi bi bi music.

Again, there is most definitely more and everyone is free to add on to my thoughts! 😌✌️

bonus: Are Thorsten and Sebastian in love? 👀 Yes, and as of February 2024 there are 32 episodes to prove it. Thank you for reading! 🫶

[ghostkingart]

Thoughts on a bg3 x the arcana crossover?

first of all thank you sm for the ask!! I really need to get my mind off of things and just think about my blorbos for a while <3

somewhat spoiler-y for The Arcana and Baldur's Gate 3 (I've played all of Arcana but not BG3)

so first of all, Astarion and Asra, right??

not only do they both have curly white hair but I also think that something about them just works (well, not really at first, but it has the potential to work!)

would Astarion mind Asra's absence? maybe he'd like it at first. maybe he'd think it's neat that someone is giving him so much freedom, that he doesn't feel restrained. but... would he begin to resent it? Astarion, imo, longs for genuine connection, but just has too many walls around him. and Asra kinda does too. I think they'd learn to love each other and to fulfill each other's need for connection, while simultaneously giving each other enough room to breathe

Julian.... what can I say about Julian? I hate to be That Guy but he'd work sooooo well with my BG3 Tav, Veles. so they're both masochists, right? it's the first thing that comes to mind lmao. guilt and shame are also something they have in common. but where Julian is more avoidant (remember Doc Talk? that man was READY to break up a relationship that hasn't even officially STARTED (as far as the apprentice and him both knew at the time at least, without their memories and all)) Veles is sooo much more anxious and clingy. Veles's biggest defining quote is Mitski's "if you need to be mean, be mean to me," after all. he would. probably rather DIE than allow Julian to leave him, especially because, well, Julian's avoidance and Veles's clinginess comes from the same place: fear. specifically, fear of hurting the other.

I think Wyll and Nadia would work rather well, maybe as friends, but Karlach and Nadia hmmmmmm that would be nice. opposites attract, right?

I'm sorry but Asra and Julian are my faves, and so is Astarion and I just had to push Veles forward again, also. but what else is there? any other character relations? do you have any thoughts or more specific things you'd like to ask me? feel free to send another ask, or ofc anyone else can join on the convo!!

[blueberry-bubbles130]

So I've been reading a few of the Barbie Princess and the Pauper essays that are floating around the internet (mostly Tumblr) and I've got a theory that Preminger killed the King, before the movie takes place.

First of all I'd like to give a lot of credit and a big thank you to @rin-the-shadow for their brilliant analysis of the timeline of the movie that helped me massively in figuring out when Preminger would have killed the king for the theory. Since the ages of the characters are not stated anywhere, or even implied, within the movie itself. So there's not a lot to work with in terms of timing. 

I'd also like to thank my two close friends who helped me come up with this theory. 

So first for a bit of a background, in the movie the King isn't mentioned at all, and we only see him once at the beginning of the movie, which is in the prologue. From this evidence, it's incredibly safe to say he is dead by the time the movie takes place. Now If we look at Rin's analysis and the evidence they use from the movie, they state Preminger comes into the role of Queen Genevieve's advisor when Annaliese is around 6 years old.

From here the timeline becomes messy, as we don't know when Julian becomes the tutor to Annaliese. I'm assuming that he becomes her tutor at least 3-5 years before the movie begins. This is a bit clearer if we again look at Rin's analysis, in which they theorise about the difference in time between Julian and Preminger's arrival at the palace: as they state with more movie evidence in which Julian can remember living in the village. As well as this Annaliese and Julian are really close at the beginning of the movie, which shows they've gotten to know each other really well. So I think that Julian is a bit older than Annaliese, not by much though, so I'm going to say he's about 2 years older than Annaliese.

This leaves about 5-6 years maximum for Preminger to get rid of any evidence he may still have lying around from him murdering the King, from him coming to the castle to Julian's arrival at the palace.

So for the theory itself, I think that Preminger murdered the King a year or two into his role as the Royal Advisor. Now you may be asking why Preminger would kill the King?

That's because I think the King was incredibly close to discovering Preminger's plan to steal the gold, so he decides to murder him in order to truly get rid of him, and keep his plan secret. This is because the King was probably the smartest out of him and Genevieve at the time, therefore the King would question Preminger more. And lets be real for a moment he probably realised that Preminger is clearly evil. While Annaliese would be about 7 or 8 according to the timeline, so she'd be too young at the time and less of a concern to Preminger. 

Now by doing this, Preminger in fact gets a few things out of murdering the king. The main one being that he can keep his plan secret much longer, allowing him a greater chance at succeeding. The second thing he gets out of this, is now an increase of power through Queen Genevieve.

Throughout the movie, it's shown that Preminger has Queen Genevieve completely under his thumb, a massive example being when he proposes to her (we'll be coming back to this piece of evidence later). And from this we can assume that for a while before the start of the movie, Preminger was essentially making the decisions for the Kingdom while manipulating Genevieve into agreeing with him. Or making it look like she's the one truly making the decisions.  (Because as much as I love Genevieve, it's clearly shown, at best she's completely dependent upon Preminger, and at worst dumb on her own)

Once Preminger kills the King this leaves grieving Annaliese and a vulnerable Queen Genevieve. She's now a widow, with a kingdom and a child to not only look after, but make sure she's an experienced heir to the throne. On top of that she's going to be grieving and that's going to make things a lot harder for her. 

This is where Preminger's manipulation of Queen Genevieve truly begins. Through her grief Preminger can manipulate her by making it seem like he's helping her work through her grief, while also making it seem like he's the answer to her problems of taking care of the kingdom. As a result this increases the power and wealth Preminger holds, whilst making Queen Genevieve completely dependent on him over time. 

This leaves the timeline looking like this: 

.Genevieve and the King become a couple

.Annaliese is born

.Preminger is hired as the Royal Advisor when Annaliese is about 6

.The King is murdered by Preminger when Annaliese is about 7 or 8

.Julian is hired 

.The events of the movie happen

All that is left now is to figure out how the King was murdered. Now if you've seen the movie or have seen a review, you know that when he has to, Preminger is 100% willing to murder people. This is shown when he tries to murder Annaliese and Julian by causing a cave-in, within the Royal Mine. Which happens because Julian and Annaliese are smart enough to realise that Preminger is evil. And by this point murder is Preminger's only option to secure his plan. 

The evidence is also important, as it reinforces how experienced Preminger is when it comes to manipulating Genevieve, because the next two scenes are when Preminger exposes Erika and then the proposal scene. The proposal scene shows how he uses Genevieve's own grief against her, to marry her in order to become king (and completely disregarding any emotions she may have about this situation). It not only shows that he has total power over her, since she doesn't even make a verbal response she just turns around and holds her hand out for the ring to be placed on her finger. It also shows that he is very used to doing this and knows that in this situation all he has to do is present himself as the solution to her problem. But this time he's gotten so desperate and thinks that he's won so he doesn't even bother hiding his evil intent from Genevieve. As by this point he's managed to figuratively and literally back her into a corner where he is her only option. 

Going back to how Preminger murdered the King, he has a few options for how he can do it. 

He can make it look like an accident or natural causes

He can make it look like someone else murdered him

Not care at all how it looks and get rid of the evidence later

Again from looking at the movie, when he tries to murder Annaliese and Julian by collapsing the mine, he at least tries to make it look somewhat like an accident (at least I think he does, please correct me if I'm wrong). So I'm more inclined to go with option 1 for his method. We also have to remember that the movie is set loosley somewhere in the 16th century. So there's more ways to get away with a crime, and it's before Julian arrives at the palace, meaning Preminger has less to worry about when he commits the murder. 

Preminger also seems like the type to not have much physical involvement in a murder, that is yet again shown in the mine collapse scene. So I'm going to say that Preminger most likely poisoned the king. 

This is because poison was widely available at the time, with apothecaries selling poisons as some poisons had functions apart from murder. This means that he can easily get it and get more if he ever needs to. 

So to summarise the theory, Preminger murders the King because he's coming too close to discovering Preminger's plan to gain power and chooses to kill him by poison. This leaves Genevieve vulnerable to Preminger's manipulation that while not making him just yet, gives him a bigger increase of power while pushing his plan further along. Then the events of the movie occur that force him to change his plans and in turn bring about Preminger's downfall and defeat. 

So that's it! Sorry this got a bit long. 

Thanks for listening to my rambles. 

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

hi brainrot! for the mini/regular hc prompt (your choice!), we all know nadia's scientifically minded self admires mc for their curiosity in canon. i was wondering how the m6 would react to an mc who's extremely curious and inquisitive by nature, always asking questions to bond with others and learn about the world around them, but is maybe a bit self-conscious of it because their curiosity has sometimes been treated as a nuisance in the past (definitely not projecting lol 😅). what would the m6 make of mc's inquisitive nature? what would they think of mc allowing themself to show their love by being curious, asking them questions about what they're doing or something completely random just because? how would they reassure mc about that insecurity? sorry this is so long LOL, thanks for reading and no pressure to write this request! thank you for sharing your writing and i hope your hand feels better soon! <3

The Arcana Mini-HCs: With a curious MC

Julian: a true scholar, he's as invested in soaking up the information around him as you are. also finds your detailed attention flattering

Asra: it was so difficult early on, because of the headaches. now they're in love with how well you two enable each other's curiosity

Nadia: adores this part of you and loves questions she can research and then come back to you with answers for. constantly praises it

Muriel: has a hard time with it at first because of how much talking it makes him do. highkey loves how you light up with wonder from it

Portia: is exactly like you and adores it. might well up with happy tears that someone's finally interested in her the way she is in them

Lucio: look, after three years of no friends, having someone pay this much attention to him and make him feel this important is awesome

[miss-may-i]

Miss May I: Season 4 Part 28

Isabella: He's so cute. I can't wait until I have a baby.

Julian: Yes you can.

Isabella: Well yeah I can, 'cause I'm gonna. But you know what I mean. Baby fever is real. Just look at these little cheeks.

Richie: How was Noah? Did he cry?

Julian: Yeah, I was pretty surprised. Didn't expect that from him but everyone was pretty emotional.

Richie: I can't believe how much he looks like him.

Julian: Why? 'Cause you thought he was going to be Damian's?

Richie: Well...

Julian: I know who my baby daddy is, Richie.

Isabella: It's not that we doubted you, Julie. It's just that...it's no secret you slept with Damian and that's kinda how babies are made.

Julian: I know how babies are made.

Vivian: Oh, hey guys.

Devon: Oh thank god.

Devon: There he is. How about we let these kids have their fun and go downstairs to shoot some pool?

Vivian: Okay, okay. Just let go.

Devon: So, how is it being a new uncle?

Vivian: Ask me again in a year. Is it bad I was hoping the kid would come out with blonde hair and blue eyes?

Devon: No offense to your sister, but we were taking bets on who the father could be.

Vivian: Well the ruling is out: he's definitely Noah's. The baby is practically his twin.

Vivian: Only time can tell where this will lead us, but it does seem like they're both trying at least. It's not the poor kid's fault that his parents are a couple of fuck ups.

Devon: Any idea how this is going to affect your custody case with Jade?

Vivian: Not a clue. The date is getting closer and honestly, I'm shitting myself over it. It's hard to predict what stunt a junkie will pull.

Devon: I know it's not ideal, but this is the best place for Julie and her new baby. You have this nice house, you're a teacher, and now you even own a bar. The only thing Jade has to her name is that lodge she shoots up in.

Vivian: She's doing everything she can to look good on paper. I just hope the judge isn't dumb enough to fall for it.

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[palmviolet]

love listening to your playlists queen. top 3 rust songs and explanation why/how?👀👀

loooove this question thank you so much and sorry it's taken me so long to answer it. had to take like a month to think about it. so here we are:

star witness - neko case

neko case is probably my favourite artist right now, and as you may have seen i have a whole playlist of her songs that fit rust. but i'm going with star witness because a) it's my favourite and b) it's concerned with being a witness, an observer, a recorder of horror and atrocity. case is acting as a scribe but also a voyeur to a shooting she witnessed, reckoning with what it means to witness and record a tragedy, the importance of doing so, and the lines that blur between onlooker and participant, victim, survivor. she inhabits the voices of those involved in the crime. in the same way, rust, as a detective, is adamant he will not avert his eyes: he will stand as witness, he has to. but his whole role in the series blurs the line between cop and perpetrator, cop and victim, and victim and perpetrator — violence as a neverending swirl of shit that ruins everybody, himself included. in this way, paradoxically kind atrocities ('tender wolves'), institutional ignorance ('the papers said '75', 'no television crew'), and personal loss ('my true love drowned') are just perfect for rust.

lungs - townes van zandt

now maybe i'm cheating with this one, since it was featured in the actual show, but i have to include it. going for the live version because it feels even more fragile, raw. there's a lot of speculation about what inspired van zandt to write this one, including his history of psychiatric treatment such as insulin shock therapy, which can impact the lungs and has since been discredited. that in itself of course applies itself to rust's troubled relationship specifically with the psychiatric institution, and institutions more generally. but regardless of the song's origin, there's a bleak loneliness to it, a casting-off of the trappings of human society ('gather up the gold you've found/you fool, it's only moonlight') that accords with rust's nihilism — but also a reaching-out for connection ('won't you lend your lungs to me?') that, y'know, as a rustmarty i can't help but project upon as well.

the ideal husband - father john misty

big thank you to @television-bodies for introducing me to father john misty, lifechanging event. anyway this is my third pick and it's giving rust as he relates to claire, to laurie, even to maggie. the first line calls on the institution and its record of things — 'julian, he's gonna take my files' — particularly bad things, the only deeds rust believes himself capable of, he's a bad man keeping other bad men from the door. these files being the files that are still sealed from his time undercover. to me, we can read this song as a reconciliation of who he's believed to be as rust vs. who he is/was as crash — and his reckless, almost haughty condescension towards the women who want to date him/marry him/fix him. 'let's put a baby in the oven' — it's 'i don't want another kid', it's 'we should all stop reproducing', it's 'i feel responsible for killing my own kid' all at once, while also invoking the old saying, 'bun in the oven', as he twists and turns within the narratives other people apply to him, the narratives they use to make sense of their lives and his own.

there are so many more but lyrically it had to be these three. thank you for asking i had a blast answering this