#thank you god for his existence
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This 2 second cameo of my boyfriend’s back is enough to get me through this rough work week. If all else fails the width of his thighs will keep me motivated and joyed through the tragedies of capitalism as I watch my hard earnings go down the drain through endless bills. If I have nothing else I have the view of his preciously messy hair from the back to be the one thing I’ve got left. If there isn’t anything to keep me going at least I have this glimpse of wriothesley to spark some motivation in me
#riv rambles#do you see the way he’s talking to this woman? so polite and friendly? it’s because he is a feminist#thank you god for his existence#where would I be without him#what would I do#who would I become#nothing#all the answers to those questions is nothing#I am nothing without wriothesley
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Kaka compilation
Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!
Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).
In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.
#The twins are so autistic swag#A falin just as chilled out and smiling and a laios who never stopped repressing#They’re so neurodivergent and they’re allowed to just exist I love you Kui. Kaka is just literally me#I looove characters that are hard to know and hard to read/easily misunderstood. They’re my favorite thing#LOOK AT THE WAY HE SMILES THE WAY HE BLUSHESSS HE’S PERFECT and I would take a harpoon to the chest for him thank u#I do love Kiki too btw but I’ve been seeing her in fancontent and posts way more than Kaka so I had to give him some spotlight#But also Laios is my fave of the Toudens so this very much checks out#Their pre-Flokes story would be interesting to analyze too#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kaka floke#Kaka#Kiki and kaka#floke twins#As you may guess from my new-ish icon I am in my kaka era#ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD STOP BEING MEAN ABOUT HIS NAME#KA IS A SYLLABLE IN MY IRL NAME. YES I WAS BULLIED AND CALLED KAKA AS A KID. MY NAME ALSO MEANS UGLY STUFF IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE#KAKA’S A PRETTY NAME I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL. IT’S NOT WEIRD IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD#Oh also another laios falin parallel: they both sort-of-date the same woman
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just had the thought 'in the end the most important thing varric taught rook was how to make a home for, with, and in other people' and then I had to go lie down on the floor and clutch at my head in unceasing agony for a few hours, as you may well imagine. hawke and the kirkwall crew........ in the end you kind of saved the world a bit in the most characteristically indirect and chaotic of ways. not by anything in particular that you did or achieved or accomplished (lmao imagine!), but just by -- having existed, and by the love that was always there, despite it all, in all its imperfections, even when no one was saved by it in the end. you're not here right now and you're not quite haunting the narrative but I hear your voices bickering and arguing and laughing from the other room. (and so, I think, does varric. all the time.)
'did you think you mattered, hawke? did you think anything you ever did mattered?' yeah actually, varric says with da2 and keeps saying through the series. you were here. and I loved you. and as it turns out that mattered more than almost anything in the world, no matter how long it lasted or how fucked up it was at the time or what else happens, because varric manages to pass that feeling, that intangible... home, that echo of you all as you were together, that love, hopefully the best parts of it, on to someone else for them to bring with them on their journey, with their family. and maybe the world will be kinder this time. you never know. merrill's line of 'Everything affects everything. We were born, a bunch of things happened, and now we're in a mess with our friends.' varric's greatest fear of becoming his parents. even through the wreck and the ruin of the world, ghosts upon ghosts upon ghosts of love -- malcolm hawke, who we never even see, but his life touched hawke's and hawke's touched varric's and varric's touched rook's and rook is passing it on to the family they're creating. the unbroken legacy of love shines through in ways that are stronger and stranger than any magic. help
#I woke up. I opened my eyes. this insight hit me over the head like the fist of god. what the fuck. what the FUCK#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#hawke#varric tethras#dragon age 2#dragon age meta#let me live please I've barely reached consciousness I can't deal with this#the kirkwall gang.#what if they were secretly the most important people who ever existed. just because they existed. and for the love that was there#yeah you know what? that's not the worst legacy in the world is it.#da:tv really is da2 2 in some key ways. to me. one of the most da2 lovers or all time#also extremely da2 and also varric core for varric to adopt a kid (as a full adult) completely alone with hawke possibly dead#and STILL somehow manage to make it a varrichawke lovechild on some level. not romantic not platonic but something even more insane#every day varric is unbearably intimate with hawke through the narrative in ways he simply Cannot be with anyone in real life#(in ways you perhaps Should not be in real life. also. lol)#he keeps moving on no matter what b/c that's what you do. but I think varric's real home isn't even kirkwall or a place at all#it's a time. and that time is da2. or at least the story of da2 that he tells himself.#also also what about them themes around parenthood huh. I think varric in the end at least did not become his parents. thank god#trauma gets passed down. but so do other things and you have choices about what you want to leave behind#for those who come after you.#*tears streaming down my face* guess I have to go make breakfast and pretend everything is normal then. sick and twisted
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i checked the italian blind run that apparently is very popular in the IT community. and. was anyone.
so was anyone. was anyone going to tell me in this version dusknoir asks if his existence had value.
his line about saying with full sincerity that life is marvelous.
why didnt i hear of this until now i crave to know every little difference between translations so i can cry again and again over the same guy.
#i love all the other translations dont get me wrong#there hasnt been any new content of futuee trio in 10 years i need to sustain myself somehow#no but fr 'now that the end is approaching... i can say without hesiation... and#with full sincerity... life is wonderful'#hey localization team wtf#i like other translations where dusknoir specifically says hes not wavering up till the very end#that he lived#its concise yet unflinching. a state of fact. despite all the darkness that surrounded him and he tried to perpetuate#in the end he lived. his existence happened. thanks to grovyle he can embrace the life he had and let it go with no regrets#but this IT version where it feels a little more abstract and less individualistic doesnt turn me away either#it puts the focus a bit away from himself to make a more encompassing statement: life is wonderful#living is wonderful#i dont think its inherently better or worse. i appreciate the difference. i think celebi says sth similar afterwards too#btw i teared up while taking the screenshots thank you in the morning sun#btw x2 idk italian so thank god these structures were so close and similar to spanish and latin#pmd2#pmd dialogue
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FAR CRY 5 (∞)
#hi yes i finished this game earlier wtf do i do now :(#far cry 5#hope county#holland valley#gamingscenery#gaming#far cry#game screenshots#fc5#far cry 5 scenery#to think that when i initially decided on what to play next and landed on fc5 i literally went 'hm i might not enjoy it that much though'#AHEM we all see how that went#genuinely this has become one of my favourites ever and i loved loved LOVED just existing in hope county I'm gonna miss it so much :(#not that i won't replay it at some point because absolutely I will but. time :(#(if u see this thank you playitagainmyjohnny for posting screenshots that made me wanna give it a try. eternally grateful <3)#these shots in particular were also one of those god i love this game moments#came back to holland valley after defeating faith and the choir version of we will rise again was playing on the radios of the roadblock ca#while the sun was coming up!! and it was so beautiful :')#*setting. sun was setting
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at least in this lifetime we're sticking together
#kaizenix arc changed chemicals inside my brain#like can you believe these two were ENGAGED what wouldve happened if they went through w the marriage and dokja didnt appear LIKE#GOD..i love orv im going insane#SO I BET ALL I HAVE ON HIS FURROWED BROW.....AT LEAST IN THIS LIFETIME WERE STICKING TOGETHER.......#my art#orv#orv fanart#yoohan#orv hsy#orv yjh#orv han sooyoung#kaizenix arc#id now in alt!!! thank you sillysuguru for that <3#didtn know those existed im gonna try to do it often!!
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shinichi: *takes a deep breath* shinichi: i lo- anyone who has spent five seconds around shinichi ever: yes, you love ran, we know, you love mōri ran so much, she's the light of your life, you love her so much, you just love ran, we KNOW , you love ran you fucking love ran ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE MŌRI RAN. WE GET IT.
#detective conan#mouri ran#kudou shinichi#meme strikes#la junk talks#detco posting#shinran#my beloveds#i swear this is the last one for today#but... you have to admit. it's accurate#no one simps like kudou shinichi#(to be fair sasaki shuumei is on a similar level. but shinichi and sasaki simp in different ways sooooooo...)#i love how the whole class is invested in their relationship lmao#and you know they all know how much a simp he is for ran#it's just so obvious. when he looks at her with stars in his eyes and a matching blush#i love how in the first ep/chapter it's already established#how much he loves ran#(and same for ran too... god i fckin love them all right?)#this just fits for him#if detco characters had social media his classmates would make fun of him like this#and i bet ran would be all confused (pre-confession) or (post confession) a blushing mess (but delighted)#Shenanigans in Beika-verse this is a thing i bet and would totally exist#that fic changed my brain chemistry and is an endless source of Happy Hormone Cocktail#anyways happy sunday everyone thank you for coming to my ted talk
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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howard the duck (1976) #10
#coming for spider-man's life i see#sci talks comics#howard the duck#spider-man#yes. i am reading the entirety of howard the duck comic canon from the beginning thank you for asking.#i had read the most recent two howard the duck series and i enjoyed them but now? reading the classic stuff??#dear god the new stuff doesn't hold a candle.#sighs. howard is just like every marvel character. lost his edge.#marvel stop forgetting the entire point of your characters in order to babify them to appeal to wider audiences#seeing how counter-consumerist the early howard books are and how cynical and honest the writer is..#it's a little heartbreaking what he's become#here i was thinking he was just a funny duck.#kind of sad that howard's entire existence now is reduced to “remember when we wrote about a talking duck?”#“hheeheheahahahohoh what a funny thing that was. a talking duck. could you imagine! what a silly time that was.”#“what an embarrassing time for marvel”-– shut UUP this is so interesting and sincere. that duck is really interesting and sincere.#i love you howard.#i even like your weird movie.#fun fact: howard the duck was one of the first movies my dad ever watched in english#and it was this movie that he always tried to describe and try to find because he loved it but he didn't remember the name#he said it's a movie about a duck who gets stuck in the human world#and eventually i got into marvel and was like wait. howard the duck? is the movie howard the duck???#he loves that movie. well. the first half of it. and me too i also love the first half of that movie.#love you howard!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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good news is, yall discussions about david being rosquez child of a divorce yesterday has switched something inside my brain and we’re opening that google doc right the fuck now; bad news is, i have no idea how a four year old child is supposed to act like
#watch me google ‘what a four year old can eat’#i’m that illiterate#sorry but i have nver had cousins or siblings younger than me#but thank god internt exists am i right#this is gonna be little angsty if you will#wanna marc fully divorced mother in crisis who can’t keep up with his secret child#rosquez#motogp rpf
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2011 Japan Post-Qualifying
#dedicated to the anon who asked me if i knew which gp this was from! i ended up being right hehehe#AND thank you so so so much to suzuki-ecstar for finding and sending me the clip!!!! i appreciate it sm!!!! <3#(ik told you already but actually the clip you sent is better than the original archive i had so im very happy)#i know a super old post of this already exists but now pls take my offering of it w higher quality/frame rate!!#im usually not a huge fan of this seb hair era but godddddd he looks so good in this#i will never get over the 2nd gif of jense play-punching him#ive seen it a million times by now but this one is better quality than any of the others and im fucking dying#THEY'RE SO ENDEARING WHY WERE THEY LIKE THISSSSSSSSS#and mark's there too i guess...(kidding hahaha but god his live slug react game is strong)#okay also must say now that im in a different time zone i have absolutely no fucking idea when to post its so confusing to me#jenson button#sebastian vettel#sebson#mark webber#jb22#sv5#2011 japanese grand prix#2011 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula 1#formula one
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People in this fandom will really look at The Fool, Patience, Lacey, Carson, Sedric, Hest, Davvie, Lecter, Kennit, Ash/Spark, and yes, even Fitz himself, and still have the gall to call it queer bait.
These characters are explicitly queer, their actions impact the narrative, they are well written, and their identities are treated with respect. That is the best possible queer representation you could ask for in any story.
I've seen people on tumblr basing the likelihood of if they read this series on whether or not it's "actually gay" and I'm here to tell you that it is. There are queer characters. There are queer protagonists. And no matter what you see people in the fandom say, Robin Hobb wrote some amazing queer representation in a genre that rarely sees it at all.
TLDR;
Queer bait = disrespectful marketing ploy that exploits queer audiences
Queer bait ≠ "my two favorite characters never have sex"
#Fitzchivalry ''i wondered if I lied so that I need not be ashamed of myself'' farseer thank you everyone#quite frankly the disrespect to Robin Hobb in this fandom is in EXTREMELY poor taste#the interview from 2008 before half the series was written where she explains why Fitz would not suddenly be head over heels for a person h#perceives as a man because all of his life he has only had heterosexual experiences apparently means that no queer characters exist#whatsoever in the whole series and Robin Hobb is an irredeemable backwards old lady who can't get with the times. right.#Fitzchivalry ''what were we? Beloved'' farseer#this is actually not supposed to be a debate over whether Fitz is canonically queer or not. he is. ope.#also...I do read Kennit as queer. just cause he is traumatized and his queerness comes out in predatory ways doesn't mean he's not queer.#that's called writing a compelling villain baybee#Hest!?!? thank you Robin Hobb for the evil gays god bless <3#modern reader: the author didn't describe these characters dicks touching in detail therefore she is homophobic#rote#realm of the elderlings#fitzchivalry farseer#the fool#I really had to get this out of my system guys. thanks <3#as if Robin Hobb didn't give us the FOOL. nonbinary/gender fluid character OF ALL TIME.
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CATWOMAN & RIDDLER ARE DATING
So much wild stuff in Catwoman: Lonely City by Cliff Chiang
#catwoman lonely city#catwoman#selina kyle#riddler#batman#-related#look at these olds having a drink#look at this redemption journey#and that joke about batman forever is EVERYTHING#selina trains his daughter edie later! it's so great!#oh and the hair parallels strike again! hairallels!#cliff chiang you brilliant bastard#what's this ship even called? it doesn't have a name; the rarepair gods are once again asleep#edit: yes it does; riddlecat exists and is an actual rarepair niche thing#tbf this is the mildest riddler characterization I've ever seen since most other times his concerning ham levels are at 1000#I guess that was the coke talking xp#guess which characterization *I* prefer: old-hat unhinged or evolving & multi-layered. go on. guess. you'll never guess *that* crazy riddle#riddlecat#thanks for the late update on that tumblr :p
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tell me about drawtectives. what is this little show.
oooooh my god oh my god. they are my guys. so.
drawtectives itself is a youtube series created by julia lepetit on Drawfee. it's an rpg mystery show– s1 is a murder mystery, s2 is just a mystery– that doubles as an art challenges show. she draws all of the backgrounds and npcs and most of the assets (the 'cutscenes', you could call them) and then the team gets together, knowing absolutely nothing besides what julia's asked them to prepare, and does some funky improv to create a very funky storyline.
there are 3 players and one dm; the pcs are rosé, york, and grendan/grenda/grandma/gma, and the Big NPCs are Jancy True (s1/s2) and Eugene Finch (s2) and they're, in their own words, a found family, so. beloved. their backup plan if all their jobs fail is to move out east and open a bookstore. jancy and eugene have fully accepted their titles as mom/ancestral ghost and son despite meeting each other likely once before the drawtectives dragged them together. overall though if i had to summarize, it's a bunch of friends getting together, making a bunch of puns, appreciating julia's art, and laughing together. the vibes are 10/10 so loving. in writing the transcripts i've written (Karina laughs) (Nathan laughs) (All laugh) So Many Times it's just fun.
so there's three pcs. first one we meet is gyorik 'york' rogdul, who's a half-orc come to the city to learn about his mother's culture. he is the character we have by far the most lore for– if I compiled all the lore I had about the Northern Tribes and Wild Trains, I think the document would be multiple pages. he's also illiterate, which was an interesting decision for the english major of the group to make (in other words, York Will Not Be Illiterate For Season Three bc Y'all Cannot Read) and morally gray if you think about it too hard (he killed his own brother) but yknow he's hot so it's okay. they're all hot any crimes committed are okay. he's also aroace (confirmed by the player, which is!! vibes!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME @axolotllee!)
rosé is the Human Rogue and the youngest of the party; her main trait in s1 was Millennial and she Dealt with that. she, in contrast with York, has so little lore we are scraping the barrel. she was a thief, then left everything about that life behind and changed her name to rosé when she went to work for jancy. she lied on her resumé. she knows how to sew; she's sewn Pockets of Holding on most of her clothing. she bonded with a stray cat that lived outside her last apartment. she's three credits short of graduating college. she's, in addition to being a drawtective, jancy's intern, and cried when jancy got her a cupcake. she won't tell her best friends when her birthday is or where she goes to school or what her last name is. that's all we know about her and i love her and she could probably kill someone as she has multiple knives on her person and does not use them. she's bright and funny and can be pretty dark but really does find the humor in it which is. wonderful.
so grendan highforge starts out as The Snobby Rich Boy which. already love the trope something Always Happens To Them if they're a pc. then through s1 they make an offhand comment about a character (faucon, whose name is pronounced 'falco') and how if her name was pronounced that way it'd be grenda. faucon asks how they feel about it. they are caught very off-guard by that and then ask to be called it for the next hour or so. then the next witness calls him gma, and then grandma, and then. yeah she realizes she's genderfluid. and he uses any pronouns and has a full beard and also wears a romper and loves dogs and the player is the Most Experienced TTRPG-er so through maybe using resources a bittt grandma is the most observant character of all of them. he's also a dog walker and a lightweight and does canonically have druidic magic though that was Not Touched On Much and showed up to their first day on the job slightly stoned (they did stop doing that though.) she carries around a box to make the height difference (york is 7'. grendan is 4'. rosé is 6'. you can see the formatting issue) slightly less difficult. she doesn't know how rhinos reproduce but has had a fascination with them since a police chief said one might've committed a crime. i think they could kill someone by talking too much but they don't actually have the strength or dex to do Jack Shit.
and jancy true is the head pi (a great many of the characters are puns and i love it so much) and is there to make sure things get done and clues don't get missed. she has a cochlear implant and uses a cane and solved s1 just by Reading The Paper and hearsay. she solved about half of s2 before Someone Stopped Her. she says hello children to the drawtectives and it is such a fond thing. eugene is. a guy who i love. julia started the show thinking he would be some mysterious character to join them and then made the wonderful improv decision– avoiding having to do npc-npc conversation– of saying 'yeah eugene is spinning a camera on its stand' and rosé just says so gleefully. 'guys. i think he's stupid.' and he became their son. his character is a lot of The Plot of s2 so i don't want to get into it too much but. jancy and eugene my beloved.
they're just. such a family. to quote nathan (grenda's Player) from the s2 talkback: "That's one of my favorite things about this show, is we came in with these vague ideas for characters, and just playing them with each other, they became friends and became better people as a result of knowing each other and solving mysteries. ... Like, we all kind of independently made our characters people that either were distant from their families or, you know, just had tenuous connections to other stuff, and so these are, like, the realest connections they have in their lives."
and then karina (rosé) about 10 seconds later: "Yeah, we love a found family where they bond over just being the worst."
god. them. they're chaotic and loud and feel very real to me. they have excitement and are pretty bad at social cues but they love each other and want to die together because they would hate too much to be separated. i could articulate this better but it's one in the morning and they mean a great deal to me.
#ren <3#GOD THEY'RE MY GUYS#'my guys' really is the shittiest group of found family to exist. god. the bad kids the virals the crows and now the drawtectives. wow.#drawtectives#fuck it we're maintagging this#i'm realizing i probably should've written more about the premise of the show– s1 is a murder mystery; the murder of sorin justice.#his wife lotta justice hires jancy to solve the crime and jancy wanted to train proteges so here they are!!#s2 is. you wake up on a train with no memories. why are you here where is jancy DID YOU JUST SEE A MAN GET MURDERED WHAT'S HAPPENING#it's genuinely a really funny show and has Very Good Vibes and. i love it. the prompts are horror if you think about it which. i also enjoy#but the cast were all members of collegehumor up until jan 2020 so. they know comedy.#plus they're all very close so they know each others' boundaries#castles rambles#questionnn!#also. lmao it really does seem like grandma is my favorite#tbf she is. but rosé's paragraph should be longer i love her so much it's just. hard to describe.#thank you thank you for letting me talk about them i love them <3 <3
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thinking about scully sitting on the floor of mulder’s apartment just holding him as he wept after his mother’s death and after she told him through tears that it’s time to stop. it’s time to stop looking for his sister.
and how she had already told him that once, seven years earlier, a month into their partnership, when she chased him out of a police station and told him to stop running after his sister because it won’t bring her back.
she called after him to just stop, because she’s the scientist, and that’s the logical conclusion that she had reached.
except later that night, he told her why he does it. that he’s been closing his eyes and walking into that room, thinking maybe, when he opens them, his sister will be there, since he was 12 years old. “every day” of his life.
and she never told him to stop again.
until seven years later, when she rocked him on the floor, and then the next day was asked “why do you want to bring all this back up now?” and answered, “someone owes it to mulder.”
so she started looking. she reopened files, she tracked down records, she went to his mother’s house to dig through the trash. she confronted CSM about what he knew, she flew to california, she held hands and prayed.
she looked at mulder and said “it hurts me to tell you this” and stayed steady in the truth anyway. she listened to him read to her about a 14-year-old girl’s pain, held his hand and told him to get some sleep. she stayed up, kept looking, and found it. “i got it, mulder. i couldn’t believe it when i saw it. it was like it was looking for me.”
the police report from when samantha ran away.
she read the hospital records, went to the home of the nurse who signed the intake report, asked him if he wanted her to go herself.
she left him by the car and walked up and knocked, asked about a patient in 1979. she listened as the nurse described how “you couldn’t forget her or how frightened she was. scared for her sweet life.” and the man who came for her, who wouldn’t put out his cigarette.
earlier the day before, she had been told to just stop. “word of advice, me to you: let it be. you know, there’s some wounds that are just too painful ever to be reopened.”
and she had responded, “this particular wound has never healed. and mulder deserves closure.”
after seven years, she knows now, that you can’t just stop chasing. she knows how heavy grief is, and she‘s seen the effects of carrying it alone. of walking into the worst night of your life every day, eyes closed, hopeful.
you can’t just stop, and you can’t really have closure, but you can help someone carry it.
and ultimately, that’s what made this the end of the road. sometimes the heaviest burden of grief is feeling that pain is all there is left of someone, and that alleviating it would be to abandon them.
scully’s right, this wound has never closed, but there’s freedom in shared remembrance and shared dedication. she doesn’t ask him to stop until he’s ready to know the truth, and she’s willing to find it. she doesn’t ask him to rest until it’s safe for him to, because it’s not forgetting samantha. she knows and she remembers.
#i’m having a tough week thank you all for your consideration#i forgot that that police report file just found her. god#these girls love mulder so much#they’re always working in tandem#it means so much esp with the death of his mother that someone else in the world just remembers#it’s mulder in the pilot saying ‘no one ever talked about it’ and how everyone just pretended she never existed#it’s the childhood photos that scully sees burnt in the trash#everyone tried to just erase her from existence so much that mulder had to dedicate his entire life to remembering her#but it’s lighter now#someone else knows#someone else knows that they spent their summers playing baseball and that they argued over the tv and that he’s looked for her#in every room that he has ever been in#someone else knows what happened to her and the horror that she suffered and how she wrote that they didn’t even treat her like a person#how she wrote that she just wishes she could see her brother’s face#sometimes that matters more than any reveal or any truth or any conspiracy#she’s going to be remembered and she’s going to be thought of and loved#even if he goes home and gets some sleep#even if he stops looking#txf.txt#closure#sein und zeit
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"Bailey's Little Shadow"
enjoy this kid damsel doodle while i share some rambles I already shared with wafer ♡
Damsel doesn't remember too much o her early childhood, but she does have vivid memories of always trying to stick by Bailey's side. she quickly grew out of this in her teen years but pre disappearance she was still a people pleaser who did her best to never disappoint him. post disapprance Damsel doesn't share this sentiment. but...she [begrudgingly] still has a sense of respect [and maybe even a hint of her former idolization] towards Bailey. very, VERY deep down. current Damsel hates Bailey...kinda. on one hand, Bailey is objectively awful [and also he steals her money >:( ]...but he's also very smart.
she understands fundamentally that essentially being a kingpin [like she views Bailey to be] is the easiest way to live in this fucked ass town. she almost admires his unshakable coldness, his ability to be unaffected. so in a way she starts to take aspects of him to make her. Bailey says money is everything so she monopolizes information because getting info is what she's good at. she plays the easy to talk to bubbly girl [something she learned from watching Bailey put on his caring caretaker front] so it's easy to get people to trust her because unlike Bailey, she's small and has basically no arm strength. she has no intimidation factor, except her uncanny ability to know everything, status/relationships, and money. she has nothing to give her a leg up physically so she has to play into her other strengths.
now she is subconsciously modeling herself after the way that she sees Bailey - so if you asked her why she wants to own people, to be powerful and influential, she'd never mention that it comes from Bailey. shes happily not acknowledging that she thinks he's smart because she also thinks he's an ass lol. she will NEVER acknowledge that she still in some way idolizes a man that she also hates [if that's what you want to call her feelings. she definitely will.]
#y'all I hate writing things but luckily i had all this in the dms with wafer#thank you wafer for always listening to me ramble anout how awful my pcs are <3#and also talking about dolls and dress up with me lol#damsel was also a bossy bratty kid so some things never change lol#I'm doing some reworking cause i think I'm going to have Noé and Damsel exist in the same game#like Tamayo and Tomoe do except Noé and Damsel aren't like twins obviously#also i just realized Damsel is kinda Izaya Orihara coded...#like a carefree informant who doesnt actually care about people and likes to watch chaos while beings above it all...#dol pc#damsel the starlet#bailey the caretaker#[mentioned not drawn. other than his legs lol]#.q#maybe if i get to a point where drawing kids doesn't make me physically violent#I'll draw a comic about how outwardly posessive Damsel was as a kid. specifically over Noé.#[it low-key contributed to his god complex]#what should i tag posts like this???#damsel drops lore
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