#thank you for yelling at me for 6 years. truly couldn’t have done it without you all

[karalovesallthegirls]

This day exactly six years ago I was getting ready to publish a new fan fiction that I was planning to just name 'the sugar baby kara au' because I hated coming up with titles and I am a fool, but my girlfriend of two months convinced me that that was a terrible idea. She was right, obviously, and now six years later we're engaged to be married. Had to lock that wisdom down fast after that.

Also, six years later, I'm here publishing the final chapter of this damn story. Thank you all for taking this adventure with me for over half a decade. I've been a lot of different people in that time, and I am thankful I got to be so many of them with you all.

Here is the final 23k chapter of You Deserve it All, aka the sugar baby kara au

[dreamescapeswriting]

Trust In Me ~ PJM [Request]

WORD COUNT: 3.2K

PAIRING: Jimin x reader

GENRE: established-relationship, angst, fluffy ending, mentions of family and being raised by grandparents instead of mother

As you walked down the staircase of your house you placed earrings into your ears, calling out for Jimin to come out.

"Jimin, we're going to be late if we don't leave right now." You cried out as you walked into the living room to find him standing there in his practice clothes. Frowning at him you looked him up at down, today was supposed to be the day he had managed to get off work.

"I thought you got the day off," You whined slipping your shoes on as you looked at him. Jimin felt his stomach begin to churn as he looked at you and lied. Right to your face.

"I got called in again."

"But it's my Grandmothers 90th birthday...We were going to the meal." You reminded him, he had promised you weeks ago that he had gotten the day off and was going to be there.

"I got busy Y/n, I'm sorry." he walked towards you but you ignored his attempt at a hug. All it seemed as of late was that he was busy. Hardly home, always out until late hours of the morning and when he was home he was acting odd. Jittery whenever you asked him how his day had been, on edge whenever you told him that you were going to clean up the house. It felt as though he was hiding something. But you and Jimin had been together for almost 6 years, there was no way he would do something stupid. 

That you knew of.

"I know baby, I'll make it up to you," He promised as he attempted to reach for you but you moved away from him. Grabbing your bag and looking around for your car keys.

"You've been saying that for weeks Jimin" You knew you were probably overreacting. You knew what his lifestyle was like. You had been living it for the last six years but that didn't make it easier. 

"I'll make sure Seojun is following you." He told you as he looked outside. The world knew about your relationship which meant you travelled almost everywhere with a personal guard. Seojun was there to make sure you weren't trampled by paparazzi or Sassengs in the street. There wasn't anyone out there right now but he knew it wouldn't be long until someone was around.

"Thanks." You mumbled turning to leave when he took your hand in his, pulling you closer to him so that you were chest to chest with one another.

"You can't forget this." He placed a gift bag into your hand. The present you had gotten for Grandmas birthday. Something that the two of you had been planning on giving her for almost nine months.

"This is from both of us. I can't give it to her without you." You looked into the bag at the wrapped-up box and Jimin sighed.

"She'll know I'm sorry." Without a word to him, you walked out of the house with the bag. Climbing into the car more pissed off than ever that Jimin would leave you to go to a function like this alone. 

Jimin stood watching you leave and biting down on his lip. It was never his intention to hurt you but this was something he had to do in secrecy. Grabbing his phone scrolling through until he found the name, "Seojun 2" and pressed the call.

"Can you meet me at the house?" He questioned as soon as the other line picked up.

"Sure. Shall I order pizza for when we're done?" An excited female voice asked as she got happy to hear Jimin calling her so early in the morning.

"Of course how could I ever say no when you get so excited like this?" He chuckled grabbing his bag and keys before heading out to his own car. Throwing a bag into the boot before climbing into the front seat, 

"Make sure you bring protection this time, I'm not having a repeat of last time. We got in such a mess!" She grumbled at him as she began to think back on all of their times together. 

"It wasn't my fault we were in the mess." Jimin scoffed as he began to start up the car and put his phone onto the stand, 

"I think you'll find that it was your fault. You're so messy," She complained,

"I never hear you complain until the next time we see each other. I'll see you soon. Make sure you're ready, I want to start right away." He laughed before getting ready to end the phone call,

"So eager Mr Park."

"Only for you." He teased playfully. Hanging up and beginning his slow drive.

"Happy birthday Grandma," You whispered as you walked into the small restaurant your family was hosting in. A small family-run restaurant that had been in the mall for almost 12 years. Your whole family had been going there for years, your grandmother insisting that it was the only restaurant she would ever eat inside of.

"Thank you, dear," She looked behind you and you knew what she was looking for. Grandma happened to be Jimin's number one fan.

"He couldn't make it." You whispered as you put the gift bag down onto the table of other gifts and looked back at Granny who seemed to be upset.

"Why?" 

"Because he had other things to do." You shrugged it off giving her a quick peck on the cheek before going to find you both a drink. 

The truth was you had no idea where Jimin was. It seemed that he was always busy lately and it was beginning to bother you. You had no idea what he was so busy with. There was no comeback coming up and they weren't filming any dancing videos for their channel.

"Your grandfather used to get like that whenever he was hiding something." Your mother's voice sounded from beside you. Anger boiled up inside of you as soon as she felt the need to insert herself in your business when she was never really much of a mother anyway. Not to you at least.

"He isn't hiding anything." You hissed at your mother. She'd never liked you and Jimin together. She never liked you with anybody now that you came to think about it.

"All I'm saying is, he's a very handsome young man. He could have anybody he wanted." She smirked at you, you knew what she was thinking. The moment you had bought him to meet your grandmother your mother had begun flirting with Jimin. Doing anything she could to get his eyes on her.

"Thanks, mum." You grumbled sarcastically before walking away to go and join your grandmother who was opening her gifts. Your brother begging to go first as she picked up an envelope.

"That one's from me!" Your brother yelled excited as your grandmother began to tear it open, frowning and staring over at him as she slowly pulled out what was inside.

"Retirement home flyers?!" You cried out looking from the flyers and back to him as he nodded his head clearly proud at what he had gotten her. 

"Granny needs somewhere she can live," Granny wasted no time in rolling the papers up and smacking him with them playfully until he pulled out a small box.

"This is your real one," He whined as he gave her the box. She pulled it open, 

"It's Granddads old medals. I had them polished and cleaned." She began to tear up before hugging him tightly. Practically making his eyes pop out from his head as she thanked him over and over again.

"Mine next," You whispered pushing the box towards her. Something you had been keeping quiet for months, scared in case she hated it.

"It's from me and Jimin,"

"Who isn't here," Your mother laughed before your brother jabbed her in the side.

"Shut up and sit down. I don't see you with a date either." Grandma shut her up, taking the box from you carefully and smiling up at you. 

Pulling the box open she began to tear up once again, tears beginning to roll down her face as she saw the snowglobe sitting there. 

"A snowglobe for your collection," You smiled as you picked it up to show her that there was a small model of her old home. The one you had spent most of your life growing up inside of. 

"Y/n how did you do this?" Your brother gasped as he moved closer to get a better look at the house. It was almost an exact replica, all it was missing was the porch swings.

"I found someone online who can make custom globes, Jimin and I went to the old house we got pictures." You explained as you shook the snowglobe for your grandmother.

"It's still standing?" She gasped looking up at you with widened eyes.

"Barely. It was practically withering away while we were there but the artist managed to capture everything it used to look like." You smiled remembering the day you took Jimin. It was almost 9 months ago, the two of you went for a road trip to go and find it, You'd almost cried seeing it so dishevelled and abandoned. The inside was terrible with broken glass on the floor, burnt flooring. The inside joinery was exposed and all of the wiring and copper had been stolen. You and Jimin had sat together for a few hours talking about how much the place meant to you and how much you wished you could have saved it.

"This is amazing, thank you." She left a giant kiss on your cheek and you smiled as she began shaking it and showing it off to anyone that was looking at her. Like a child on Christmas.

"I'm glad you like it, I'll text Jimin." You smiled before going to go and find a drink which you had intended to do before. 

Sitting by the window you looked out at the people that were doing their shopping. The party seemed to be dragging by slowly since Jimin wasn't with you to help lighten the mood up a little.

"You're daydreaming." Grandma laughed as she fed you some more mozzarella sticks. Practically piling your plate higher each time. She claimed that you never ate enough when she was around and would always give you more food than you could possibly ever handle. 

"Sorry, are you enjoying your birthday?" You questioned as you looked at her, she nodded her head. The whole family seemed to have spoiled her, which she truly deserved for everything she had done in her lifetime. 

"It's been fun besides your mother, I swear she thinks I'm suddenly going to drop down dead." Your mother had been questioning her about the will all day. It came as no surprise that she only came around sniffing for money.

"Nope, you're going to live until 190," You teased as she shook her head at you. Taking your hands in hers and squeezing them softly making you look at her as she took on a serious look.

"You were always my favourite." You shook your head and scoffed at her,

"Granny..." You said slowly hoping that no one around you was listening to the conversation.

"I'm serious...When I do go everything will be going to you Including the silver. Make sure you hide that from your auntie Gina." She grumbled looking over at Gina who was eyeing up some of the gifts at the table. She was always sly about it but things magically disappeared whenever she was around. 

"What about mum?"

"What about her? She gets nothing." You sighed before looking back out of the window. Your grandmother had practically raised you in that old house while your mother did nothing but party and not come home until 4 am only to sleep until 4 pm and start all over again. 

"What about my brother-" You stopped yourself from speaking when you caught a glimpse of someone in the distance. It looked like Jimin. 

"He gets to have Grandpas stuff, he always loved to look at it." You nodded as you continued to look over at the couple walking around together. Arms linked and ice cream in their hands. It couldn't have been Jimin. 

Could it? 

"I'm going to get some air," You whispered as you excused yourself from the restaurant and headed out of the door. Keeping your head down just in case it was Jimin. 

"What are we doing?" Seojun asked as he finished off the slice of cake he was chewing. The family had been feeding him mass amounts of food since he had been standing by the door for most of the duration of the party.

"Going to see if that's Jimin," You whispered looking up at him as you pointed over near a shop. It was like his whole demeanour changed as he stared over in the direction you had pointed in. 

"Seojun?" You questioned when you noticed how weird he seemed to be.

"It's not him." He mumbled,

"You barely even looked."

"It's not him." He told you again as he tried to usher you back to the restaurant but you got out of his grasp.

"I'll go over there myself and see-" You didn't need to go over yourself, the girl began laughing loudly and you turned to look. Jimin was standing there, the small tattoo on his left wrist a giveaway that it was him. The date of your anniversary was tattooed there. 

"Y/n! We have more cake!" Your grandmother yelled from the door but you felt too sick to move. Everything was still going over in your head. Did you confront him now or later?

"You should do this later Miss Y/l/n, you don't want to ruin the party," Seojun whispered as he began to pull you into the house. Frantically texting Jimin to alert him that you had seen him out with another woman. The other woman he had been hiding from you.

When Jimin walked through the door that night he expected you to be asleep. That maybe you had calmed down from everything you had seen earlier but he couldn't have been more wrong. You were sitting and waiting for him surrounded by cups of coffee. It was clear you had decided to wait up for a long time for him.

"Where have you been? And don't lie to me because I asked the boys." He swallowed the lump in his throat. Maybe there was a chance that he could get away with all of this.

"I was out with a friend,"

"A girl?" You questioned. Not angry that he was with someone else but angry that he felt the need to lie to you about it.

"Yes. She's just a friend." You got up and walked over to the cupboard. Pulling out an overnight bag and throwing it down onto the floor. If she was a friend then why did he have clothes packed up in a bag, looking as though he was planning to leave you?

"A friend you sleepover with at an undisclosed location?" You pulled the bag to show him everything that you had found inside of the bag. 

"Y/n, it's not what it looks like." He stuttered out as you began to show him everything that was in the bag.

"So you just have spare underwear and clothes packed up for nothing?"

"It's not what you think it is, she's just a friend." He assured you trying to reach out to touch you but you backed away from him.

"If lies keep spewing from those lips then I am walking out of that door." You said coldly before kicking the bag towards him. Jimin sighed looking down at the bag and then up at you. It was time for him to come clean with you but there was no way you were going to believe him unless he showed you.

"Let me prove it...Let me show you where I've been doing, what I've been doing." You looked at him before nodding.

A quiet and agonizingly slow car ride later and you were standing at the house. The house you had grown up in. 

"What are we doing here?" You questioned looking over at the house and then to Jimin who got out. The house was still falling apart except now there seemed to be a giant skip outside with rubbish inside of it.

"Follow me." He whispered not wanting to wake anyone else up on the street. It was almost 3 in the morning no one wanted to be woken up.

Following after him, you frowned as he walked into the house. Although the outside of the house was still falling apart the inside was all-new. The exposed walls were patched up, fresh paint all over the walls. Furniture in the place it had been in when you were younger. New flooring was put down to replace the burnt patches that had been left by squatters.

"I've been doing this...I wanted it to be a surprise for you but you saw me so I had to show you." He told you as he walked further into the house showing that everything was as you remembered it to be. A fireplace was put in place where your Grandmother used to sit and read you bedtime stories. 

"I got everything from old images you'd shown me. Your brother gave me old photo albums so I could match everything." You were tearing up as you walked around the house. Everything looked to be exactly the same as your childhood home.

"The second floor isn't finished yet, Sooyoung and I were going to get started on it." The name of the girl he had been with, you turned to look at him.

"Sooyoung?"

"The girl you saw me with. She's Seojun's sister, she's a decorator." Your mouth formed an 'O' as you looked around at everything. Seojun had told you about his sister almost a million times but you'd never seen her before.

"Jimin this is perfect,"

"I wanted you to have everything you wanted...I know how much this place meant to you." Saying nothing you walked into his arms and hugged him tightly, kissing his chest. You couldn't believe you let your head run to the fact that he would cheat on you. Jimin would never hurt you and you knew that.

"I'm sorry I called you a liar."

"I'm sorry I hid it from you...I wanted it to be a surprise." He laughed weakly as he rubbed his hand up and down your back. Kissing the top of your head softly,

"I trust you Jimin. I really do...I was just scared. You'd been so busy and then mum said you could have whoever you wanted." He knew your mum would have something to do with the way you reacted so he shook his head. Promising you that everything was okay.

"I only want you." He whispered leaning down to kiss your lips softly. The start of the rest of your lives was going to happen in a house you had always dreamed of owning.

"This is our place?"

"It will be when we finish on the top floor. We have to way for a contractor to come out for that though." You smiled at him, kissing him once again. You were never going to get tired of kissing his perfect lips.

"Thank you Jimin, this is...This is the best surprise you could have ever given to me," He smiled down at you before bringing you into a real kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you deeper as you jumped up into his arms.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @taestannie @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​

[wandsandwheezes]

Fake It | Weasley Twins | CH1

Warnings | 18+ SMUT, mature themes, fake relationships, secret relationships, love, sex, drama, angst, fluff.

Summary // Fred Weasley has been set up to publicly date Y/N, London's best Quidditch Seeker in order to drum up some publicity. Y/N however has a different ginger man on her mind; George Weasley.

He was giving you that look. not the look, that look - the one that told you to stop doing what you were doing. It wasn't often that you'd layer it on thick for the press, making sure that you're giggling as you press your hand to his chest. With each flash of a picture you make sure you're striking a different pose. It was hard work being a liar, but it was even harder work without the publicity you gained. 

Your Publicist Cheryl or 'cherry' as she begged you to call her, had devised her own scheming plan to generate not only some amazing press for you, a well established quidditch player, but also some well-needed hype and sales for Fred Weasley's shop. After all, it's not every day that London's best quidditch player was dating Infamous Fred Weasley, Gryffindor Star beater and all-in-all stellar man. The plan had been well and truly in action for just over four months, With Fred the main face of the shared brand with his brother George, it felt like the best option according to Cherry. 

You were leaning into Fred, answering press questions about the latest win, how you were feeling about the upcoming game and, of course the all too regularly asked update on the relationship. You were 'very happy with a man like Fred', he was smiling down at you, gushing sappily "She may be the best Seeker in the game, but my god is she a keeper." The line made you sick to your stomach, When Cherry had pitched it to you both, you were groaning in disgust, but as she pulled the lollipop from her bright red lips with a pop, staring at you with raised eyebrows, you knew it had to be done.

As the interview began to wrap up, you thanked the photographers and journalists, grabbing Fred's hand and interlocking your fingers with a beaming smile, you made sure the cameras could see, after all the last issue of the Daily Prophet branded it as a 'winning smile'. You were escorted away from the press, once out of sight from them, your hand dropped from Fred's grip. "Well done for not making that so not obviously fake." you quipped at him, going to pull your coat on and check your phone for any messages. He laughed, imitating your voice, "Oh, Fred, you're so handsome, won't you just kiss me right now?" You scoffed, throwing your bag over your shoulder. Your phone had three messages when the screen had lit up, your stomach feeling like it had butterflies when you noticed the name. 

>> Do I get to see my beautiful girl later? 

>> I got your favourite for dinner. 

>> I miss your lips already

You felt like the luckiest girl alive in his presence, he made you feel like a princess - a queen even, with every night you spent with him. It all started at Hogwarts for you two, after all, It's not often you get to see the best Slytherin seeker and the Gryffindor star beater together. It really wasn't often because you'd been hiding your relationship for that long. He taught you quidditch skills that got you to where you are today during late, late night practices, often ending with makeout sessions on the grass as you straddled his hips,giggling into the bitter Scottish air. 

You fell in love with George Weasley as a teenager, and for 6 years you had kept your relationship a well-guarded secret. Even through the war, you kissed each other goodbye, praying that it was only a see you later. You knew that one day you would marry the gorgeous man you loved so dearly. You tried to persuade Cherry, who had and still has no clue about your true relationship status, for it to be George you had a public relationship with, but she quickly shut the idea down because George was 'too quiet'. 

<< I miss you so much Georgie… heading back to the shop with fred now

<< btw I'm staying over tonight, I won't suffer another night without kisses :'((

>> Just kisses? ;) 

<< Shut up. 

<< I love you xx

>> I Love you too, babygirl xx

>> Daddy can't wait to see you <3

George stood lazily, arms draped over the balcony as he was smiling down at his phone like a muppet. He was so head over heels with you that he wasn't sure what to do with himself. George wasn't mad that you had to fake date his twin, after all, he'd rather it be Fred than some random quidditch man, or worst of all, Krum. He knew and recognised how important it was to your career plus, what good businessman turns down the opportunity to rake in some sales? It hurt to read the papers sometimes, seeing how much attention you both got together, a part of him wished it was he who got to show you off. 

When you entered the shop, you caught George's eyes immediately, a bashful smile spread across your face, immediately feeling like a schoolgirl again in his presence. Fred sulked off to his office, leaving you to browse the shop until your driver arrived to take you to team practice. You were browsing the upper back wall of products when you felt his stare on you, he was meters away from you and you ached to draw him in for a kiss. You reached out to him, making the grabby hands that he couldn't resist, he checked over his shoulder, seeing nobody, before waking over to you, he pulled you into a quick and needy kiss by your neck, his other hand finding your hip. 

"I'll be home after practice," you mumbled between kisses. It was common for you to travel to his via floo, arriving at the place you truly called home, leaving a vacant and empty flat behind. He shook his head, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. "Too long to wait," he laughed softly, his lips pressing to yours again, you were just about to deepen the kiss when you heard Cherry yell out, "Y/N let's go or you'll be late for practice!" You sighed, leaving your boyfriend behind, fingertips being the last thing to separate as you walked away, leaving him dumbfounded. 

Practicing with your team was always a long, tough grind, your captain worked you hard and she knew it was all for the best, she was due soon to step down from her duty as captain, leaving the team in your hands, so you felt like you were learning double constantly. The warm water running down your skin made you crave George's touch even more, pushing the thought of Fred's hand on your hip out of your mind completely, you simply couldn't wait. 

When you arrived home, George, as promised had your favourite dinner ready for you. He was an amazing chef, using muggle techniques and tools to help create the perfect dishes without the need for magic. You shrugged off your jacket and bag, relaxing into the dining table chair as George brought out your bowl, his hands were massaging your shoulders as you ate, "Aren't you gonna eat, Georgie?" you questioned him, he smirked, "I've been waiting for you to get home so I could have my favourite." George was on his knees, hands reaching up to pull down your leggings, you lifted your hips up, allowing him to drag the material down each of your legs, hooking them over his shoulders, 

You knew exactly what he was doing, your hands found his hair and he tutted, breath fanning over your pussy as he looked up at you. "I made your favourite for you, Princess, You always liked it when we eat together." His tongue darted out to lick over your covered slit, feeling you already wet through your underwear, he hummed in appreciation, his teeth pulling the material to the side before attaching his lips to your clit.

Every time he hummed against you, it made you shake, the task of eating dinner becoming more and more strenuous, as you struggled to swallow down the food while he was pulling such sinful moans from you. George's skilled tongue was fucking your cunt, swallowing everything he could like it was the last meal he'd ever eat, and godric did he think you tasted divine, his thumb came up to circle your clit slowly, bringing you closer and closer to the ege. 

Thing is with George, he doesn't stop till he's got what he wanted. "Finish your dinner, baby," he smirked, a long finger slowly teasing your entrance, "I'm not finished until you are too." he was a determined man, by your second orgasm you could hardly hold up your fork, but nevertheless you soldiered on, managing to swallow the last piece just before number three hit, your legs were shaking and you were moaning incoherent sentences. That was possibly the best meal of your life, your weak legs could hardly hold you up when you tried to stand. 

George pulled you up into his arms, carrying you to the bed where he found your favourite shirt of his, helping you change into it, he left to make you a cup of tea, bringing it into the bedroom for you. sitting contently beside each other.

George's phone buzzed on the side, he read the message from fred. Laughing before showing it to you, the irony all too funny for him to resist. 

>> George, if only you had to do this… Fancy swapping places at the product launch on Saturday? 

<< Love to, but I'm not sure that's how the whole twin thing works. 

>> With an ass like hers, I don't mind it too much… shame, she seems like your type. 

The last text from him made george both laugh and be angry at him sexualising his girl. You laugh, pressing a soft kiss to your boyfriend’s jaw before taking a sip of your tea, "He doesn't know George."

He hums a little bit before typing a reply. 

<< It really is a shame, she does have a nice ass. 

You scoff, rolling your eyes - Men. 

///TO BE CONTINUED///  Chapter Two >>>>>

Taglist // @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @gcdric @theweasleysredhair @whiz-bangs78 @weasleysflowr @vogueweasley @minty-malfoy @vivianweasley @feetoffthetablee @thisismynerdyself @rip-us @witch-and-a-half @sarcasticallywitty15 @pandaxnienke @loony-loopy-lupinn

[worstloki]

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material. 

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that. 

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰 

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss. 

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in  mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment. 

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye. 

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me. 

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie. 

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the  deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses. 

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Wildest Dream - Jessie Fleming

Inspiration for this was the the song - Wildest Dream by Thomas Gold, Kosling and Matthew Steeper and I highly recommend listening to it while reading this I suppose. Also warning this is very long so be prepared. Hope you enjoy!!!

"Y/n! C'mon!"

The small 7 year stops running and hunches over hands on her knees panting heavily as she watches her best friend run in front of her. The small freckled faced girl stops running as she turns back to her tired friend, "Keep up Y/n!"

But the girl just shakes her head still gasping for breath, "That's not fair Jessie! Your too fast for me!" The girl just frowns as she sees her friend was not a bit out of breath, "How come your not tired?" Jessie just shrugs with a big smile, "C'mon let's go play!" The child with no other choice sighs as she chases after her friend who starts kicking the ball towards the goal.

Normally the child wasn't one for soccer. Sure she played it but that was only really because of Jessie. She played soccer because Jessie loved soccer and she would do anything for her best friend. Just how Jessie would always listen to Y/n play music even though she could barely play the triangle.

Their parents found it comically how the two got along. The two children couldn't have been more different yet they were the best of friends. Jessie was always active and running around outside and loved sports. Y/n on the other hand was the opposite. She preferred to stay inside and always had a thing for music. While she did like playing games, she definitely didn't love it as much as Jessie.

Honestly her parents think she wouldn't leave the house if it wasn't for Jessie.

But the girls were inseparable. You wouldn't find one without the other. Which is why when Jessie said she wanted to go play soccer, of course Y/n said yes.

"Y/n/n! Watch this!" Jessie screws her face up in concentration as she tries to juggle the ball just like how she's seen her favourite players have done it countless times on the TV. But she can only do it 6 times before the 7 year old loses control of the ball. While the small child pouted at the ball which rolls away from her, she isn't deterred as her best friend is clapping for her. "Woah that's so cool Jessie!" Y/n says in awe. Jessie smiles and straightens up as she picks up the ball happy to impress her friend but can't help but blush at the praise, "Thanks! I want to be a soccer player like the ones on the TV!"

At the bare age of 7, the small girl couldn't understand why when she said this to some adults  they would just chuckle and smile at her. She had even been told by some of the boys in her class that soccer is a boy's sport. But Jessie didn't care she just wanted to play soccer. She didn't know why people thought it was an impossible dream for her. Like her dad always told her, you should dream big or else what's the point of dreaming?

"That's so cool. When your a big famous soccer player, I'll come and watch all your games!" Y/n says giving her a toothy grin. Jessie nods returning her smile, "Yeah. And I'll score a goal for you".

"What do you want to be when we're older?" Jessie asks. Y/n plays with her hands and shrugs, "I don't know...". The junior soccer player tilts her head and thinks for a second before she perks up, "You could play music! You always make some cool sounds when we play!" The other girl thinks for a second before she smiles and nods, "Yeah that would be cool".

Jessie smiles before holding up her pinkie to her best friend, "Let's make a promise". Y/n tilts her head at her before Jessie continues, "Let's promise that when we grow up, we'll follow our wildest dreams!" The musician beams back at her and intertwine their pinkies locking in the promise, "Promise!"

The two 7 years stood there full of hopes and dreams for their future. Neither knowing much better as their innocence still protected them from the world. But neither cared. Because they had each other and they believed in each other. And because of that they felt like they could do anything.

***

The now two 15 year olds walk home from school. Even after all these years the two girls still best friends. Their promise still remaining fully intact. They always came home a little later after school. Whether it be because Jessie had soccer practice or Y/n lost time playing in the music room. But the two never failed to walk home together. One always waiting for the other to be finished.

"I don't get you" Jessie sighs as she shoulders her bag up higher. The musician of the two looks at her weirdly, "What are you talking about?" Jessie sighs once more, "Why won't you sign up for that talent show?" Now it's her turn to sigh as Y/n runs a hand through her hair tiredly, "Can you please just drop it Jess?"

But Jessie doesn't let up, "No I don't understand Y/n why you won't sign up! Your incredible when it comes to music. You can play almost any instrument I can name! You could win that talent show easily so why won't you sign up?!"

Y/n avoided her friend's gaze. She knew she meant well. Jessie was her best friend of course she only wanted the best for her. But Y/n had been keeping a secret. From everyone. Even Jessie. But it didn't mean that Jessie hadn't noticed. Jessie knew there was something up with the girl. She never wanted to show off her music. She had an incredible talent but refused to show it off. It was like she had stage fright but not really. She never had a problem playing for Jessie but when it came to anyone else she wouldn't even pick up an instrument.

What Jessie didn't know is that things hadn't been good at home for the musician. The musician tried to stay at Jessie's for as long as possible. But eventually she had to go home. Only to come home to a screaming match between her parents. They were always arguing about something or other that Y/n had just gotten use to the screaming and the occasional sound of smashing plates. 

The only time they seemed to agree on something was when they both agree that her music is a complete waste of time.

Y/n had to suffer quietly as she didn't want anyone to know. She had grown use to her parents ignoring her existence. She had gotten use to the disappointment. She had gotten use to that when her parent finally did give her attention it was for all the wrong reasons. She had to live with the fact that the very people who were meant to encourage her and care for her, did the exact opposite.

So when her parents tell her that music is a waste of time and should give it up. There was only so many times she could hear it before it started becoming true in her mind. As her parents always told her, where would music get her in life? Would it pay her bills in the future? Would it bring her success? Would it make her any money?

What it did give her was purpose

But her parents didn't care. They had drilled it into her so much that it was ingrained into her. Nothing good was going to come from music so what was the point in trying?

Jessie had caught the brief flash if sadness across her best friend's face. It was so quick that if she hadn't been watching she wouldn't of caught it. "Y/n..." She starts but she doesn't get to finish as Y/n seems to speed up and hurries into the Fleming household before her. Intent on finding out what's wrong with her friend she chases after her determined on helping her friend. She sees Y/n already halfway up the stairs and starts to climb after her throwing a quick call over her shoulder to notify her parents that they were home.

But before she could make it so much as 3 steps her mom's voice rings throughout the house, "Jessie! Y/n! Can you come here quickly!" This makes the two girls pause looking at each other questioningly. But they both comply and move to the sitting room where everyone else was.

"Yeah Mom?" Jessie asks as the two friends stand beside each other ready to step in at a moment's notice in case one needs to step in to comfort the other. The two parents share a look which worries the girl but they completely miss the smiles from the other kids in the room. What didn't go unnoticed by everyone was the fact that Y/n's finger went to wrap around Jessie's pinkie before the soccer player held her hand properly squeezing it lightly for reassurance.

The two adults in the room smile softly at the action before remembering what they called them down for in the first place. "We got a call from canwnt.." her mom starts. Jessie tilts her head, "Oh is there another camp on?" Her father smiles down at her, "Yes but this camp is going to be a bit different". Jessie looks at the two clearly confused. Apon seeing this Y/n steps closer to her friend this time it was her giving the reassuring squeeze.

"What do you mean?" Jessie asks. Once more the parents share a smile but before they could tell her, her little sister beat them too it. "You got called up to the national team!" Elysse sequels. The two friends freeze for a second before Jessie looks to her parents for confirmation. But they just smile and nod. "I got called up....to the senior team?" Jessie whispers lowly as if to see how it sounds coming out of her mouth.

But it was only a minute after that it truly hit her

"I got called up!?!" She yells before launching herself towards her parents to hug her fiercely. Y/n stands back as she watches the family celebrate the fact that one of their member's Wildest Dream are coming true. She watches how her brother and sister join in the embrace as they tell her how proud they are of her achieving her dream. They all knew how hard she worked to get here and it was truly incredible that she achieved this at such a young age.

But what did they expect from the overachiever that was Jessie Fleming

Although she was immensely proud and happy for her best friend. Y/n couldn't help the tiny bit of bitterness followed by guilt that crept up on her. She could felt but felt bitter as she watches her practically second family celebrate Jessie's dreams. Their family had always supported Jessie's passion in the pursuit of soccer even when others thought she was aiming too high. They were always there to encourage her and was always cheering for her at every one of her games.

Y/n wished her own family was like that. That her parents were supportive of her own dreams. Instead of shouting abuse at each other and only give her attention when she didn't meet their standards.

But she quickly pushed it down as Jessie turned to her and practically tackled her in a hug. Y/n hugs her back just as tight as she nuzzles herself into Jessie's neck, "I knew you could do it Jess! I'm so proud of you". Jessie gives her a tight squeeze before pulling back just enough so she can look at her friend's face, "Now all you have to do is fulfill your part of the promise!"

It took ever bit of willpower to make sure her smile didn't falter in front of her. Her problems were her own and she didn't need to drag Jessie into them especially on what is supposed to be such a joyous celebration for the teen. So instead she held face in front of her best friend and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah I do"

***

"Y/n?"

The girl hums telling her that she's listening even though her eyes remain fixed on the guitar. Jessie bites her lip wondering how best to approach this without saying the wrong thing. But eventually she sighs as she looks softly at the girl she had grown feelings for.

"Why do you only play for me?"

Y/n picks her head up as her eyes lock with Jessie's. The brunette not knowing how heavy the question she asked truly is.

The two were now both 17 and both harbouring feelings for the other not that they would ever admit that to the other. Jessie had been with the national team for a while now and preparing to go to college next year....in America. While Y/n didn't know what she was going to do. But the thought of them two being separated hurt the both of them.

But Y/n had still not fulfilled her half of the promise.

But she did go to nearly every one of Jessie's matches. And Jessie would swear that even among the thousands of fans, she could always hear Y/n cheering above anyone else. It was only after Jessie's first cap with the national team did she realise that she had fallen for her best friend as she saw the musician with her family in the stands wearing her jersey.

The two had something that was untouchable by anyone else. It was unbreakable. But neither wanted to ruin it in fear of the other not feeling the same. So things remained the same.

Expect for Y/n

Jessie could see the gradually change in the girl. If it was even possible, the girl retracted into herself even more than she always was. Many didn't notice as the girl had always been on the quiet side and had tended to keep to herself and maybe a handful of friends.

But Jessie did.

Jessie saw how that light twinkle in her eyes faded. She watched as her friend lost the sparkle in her eyes. Her smile didn't seem as big. Her eyes lost their light. The fire the girl once had been extinguished. It was only when they were 16 did Jessie find out why.

When the girl showed up to her house in the middle of the night in tears and a bruise starting to form on her cheek did Jessie find out about what her friend had been keeping from her. How her parents had been arguing for so long that she had practically become desensitizied by it. How she would go for weeks on end without the slightest bit of acknowledgment from her parents.

But that night was the last straw

Y/n was finally sick of all the shouting and yelling and arguing. And when she make that known to her parents, in a fit of rage her father hit her. That was the breaking point of their family. By the time Jessie's parents got to the house her father was already gone and they hadn't heard from him since.

And while the arguing had stopped, nothing had changed between the mother and daughter. Y/n's mother was hardly home and the family only had small interactions between each other. And those small interactions included telling Y/n that she needs to focus on her future and not silly music. Jessie had slowly been coaxing her out and back to her normal self but it was a slow process.

And she still refused to play for anyone else other than Jessie.

"W-why do you ask?" Y/n whispered softly. Jessie watched as the musician fiddled with the neck of her guitar. "You never play for anyone but me. You even record stuff for me when I'm away for camps and make me playlists. But never for anyone else. Why?" Jessie asks softly.

Y/n licked her lips trying to decide how to tell her without saying it's because she felt safest with her. That she could trust her with anything. Because she was her best friend. Because she loved her.

"Because....your the only one that would like it" the musician admits quietly. Jessie scrunches up her face, "What?" But Y/n just shrugs, "No one would like it anyways so why even bother". Jessie just stared incredulously at her crush not understanding why the girl could possibly think that. "Y/n...your the most talented person I've ever heard. When you play, it's like the whole world stops to listen to you play. You are the greatest musician I've ever heard".

But Jessie is even more confused when she just shakes her head with traces of tears in her eyes. "Please don't Jess..." She whispers. Jessie tilts her head at her, "Don't what?" Y/n sniffles, "Don't lie. Your just saying that cause your my best friend". Jessie stares at her for a second as she scoots closer to her.

"Your right"

Y/n's head snaps up only to find Jessie staring at her determinedly. It doesn't even register to either of them how close they really are as they are only focused on the other. "Your right I am saying this because your my best friend. And as your best friend I'm telling you the truth that by hiding your music from everyone, you are robbing the world of your talent. And whoever thinks otherwise doesn't deserve you in their life".

Y/n sighs as she looks away, "My parents think it's a waste of time. That it's not going to take me far in the future". Jessie's heart break hearing her friend sound so defeated. Jessie absentmindedly brushes some hair behind Y/n's ear as she states straight into her eyes. "You shouldn't give up on your dream so easily" Jessie whispers, "Do you remember the promise we made back when we were younger?"

A small smile spreads across her face as the musician thinks back to simpler times back when she had no worries at all and nods. Jessie smiles, "Then you'll remember we promised to follow our dreams together". Jessie moves to intertwine their fingers, "I believe in you Y/n/n and I always will. No matter what everyone else thinks".

And just like that it was as if the dam broke.

The years of bottled up emotions, all the secret family problems she kept hidden, all her insecurities. Everything she kept locked up and away from prying eyes came flooding out. All with that one declaration. All because she knew she had her best friend and crush there with her and because she believed in her. She didn't need anything else but her. In that moment she didn't care that her father left her, she didn't care he had another family without her, she didn't care that her mother was never there for her or that she deemed work more important than her own daughter.

Because she had Jessie

The dam broke, her walls fell, everything came crashing down. But Jessie was there and she caught her. She took her in her arms and held her. Jessie acted as her defence and protected her from the rest of the world reassuring her that she was there for her. And after what seemed like hours of crying which was only half an hour in reality her sobs subsided enough for her to turn to Jessie.

"Jessie?" Jessie just looked down at her showing her she was listening. Her grip on Jessie's t-shirt tightened as she moved in closer to her as she leaned into her chest, "Please don't leave me as well. Please don't forget about me when you go to America...promise me".

Jessie didn't even need to hesitate she just shakes her head, "Never. Your my person Y/n. No one could ever replace you. It's always going to be you and me. Always".

And just like that Y/n never felt more safe and secure. And if at all possible Y/n felt as if she fell more in love with the soccer player.

***

Jessie took a slug of water as she looked through the crowded stadium. They were just after beating Utah 2-1. And with a great performance by the team and herself, Jessie was happy with the win.

But she felt almost euphoric when her eyes locked on a familiar figure in the stand.

"No way!" Jessie gasps lightly causing her teammates to look at her. But before her teammates could even ask, the Canadian was already running towards the stands, running towards someone specific.

Even though she was hidden behind a baseball cap and sunglasses, Jessie could pick her out anywhere. Honestly Jessie didn't even care when she jumped up and pulled herself up to the stand. The musician laughs as she holds Jessie making sure she doesn't fall or slip off the tiny foothold she was balancing on, "Jessie!" But Jessie just throws her arms around her best friend, "You didn't tell me you were in LA!"

But Y/n just hugs her back and nuzzles her have into the girl's neck, "Well I made a promise to watch all your matches". Jessie couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face as she just hugged the girl tighter. Both ignored all the eyes on them as people tried to figure out who was the girl with Jessie Fleming.

It had been a while since the two friends had seen each other. Jessie being busy between school and soccer. And while Y/n didn't go to college she finally took Jessie's advice and finally started releasing music. Her music went viral overnight. Within days everyone knew of the new up and coming DJ Y/n L/n. But with the fame of being the latest rising star in the music industry it also came with a strict schedule.

It didn't help that she couldn't leave her house to get a coffee without it being in the paper that she's sneaking away to meet up for a secret rendezvous with some hidden lover.

But it didn't mean that she didn't watch every single one of Jessie's matches.

"You should go. Your team is waiting for you" she murmurs into the column of Jessie's neck. But Jessie in response to this just tightened her hold. Y/n smiles knowing that her best friend missed her just as much she missed her, "Look I have a show later. How about you and the team come and we can meet up after?"

Jessie takes a second before nodding, "Okay". Y/n smiles moving her nose up and down on the small patch of skin before her ear before she taps her hip, "You better go Jess. And go shower. You stink". The soccer player scoffs slapping her on the shoulder, "Shut up". The musician chuckles, "I'll text you in a bit". "Okay" Jessie nods. And in a moment of courage she quickly and discreetly kissed her cheek before she carefully climbs down from the barrier.

Y/n can't help the blush as her eyes follow Jessie as she jogs back to her teammates immediately being brought into questioning no doubt about her. Not wanting to wait around and risk being recognised she decided to leave the stadium. Y/n grins as she walks out of the stadium among the crowds. Besides she had a show to prepare for.

And a girl to impress

***

"Jessie how did you get us in?" Ashley asks as the team moves deeper into the club. Jessie smirks as she shrugs. The team had been badgering her all evening wanting to know who was the person she was talking to. They were even more surprises when she suggested they go out tonight. To this particular club. This was unusual for the quiet Canadian who they usually have to drag out of he dorms for a night out.

And here she was, getting them into a club for a sold out gig.

"Seriously Jess how did you get us in here?" Teagan asks. But before Jessie could even open her mouth the gig was about to begin, "Everyone! Please give it up for Y/DJ/n!" The team all stared at her with slacked jaws while the London native smiles widely and clapped as her childhood friend bounced onto the stage. 

Jessie loved seeing her on stage. Her friend looked so free up on stage. It's like all her worries melted away. She had seen Y/n grow in the past few years. She completely detached herself from her family and throw herself into music. Starting small and working her way up. She started on YouTube but was quickly picked up. And ever since then it's been hit after hit for her. But whenever she was on stage, she was always having fun. The smile never left her face as she was always bouncing around having fun.

The show went off without a hitch. Y/n went through all her favourite songs. Along with playing her own remix of UCLA which Jessie most definitely knew was a nod at her and her teammates. She finished the night by playing the song that started it all. The very first song with blew up on YouTube. The song that made her famous around the world. Ironically a song that was made around the promise she made to Jessie all those years ago about following their wildest dreams. A song that Jessie didn't know was inspired by her back when they sat together that day. Back to that day at age 17 when Y/n discovered she was in love with her best friend.

The team could have swore they saw the DJ send a wink in their direction. But thought nothing of it as they kept dancing. It was only when the show had ended and they were about to leave only to be stopped by a guard did they start to question everything. They were lead backstage into a separate room with the only instruction from the big bulky security guard being "Wait here" before closing the door behind them. Ashley blinked at the closed door as she sighs, "Well that wasn't suspicious at all". The team nods but Jessie just grins and moves towards the snacks laid out on the table knowing there would be chocolate covered strawberries there. Even though Y/n didn't really like strawberries, she always made sure they had them in her dressing room for Jessie knowing how much her best friend loved them.

As Jessie started helping herself to the treats at the table her teammates looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Uh should you be going at the food Jess?" Anika asks as she watches the Canadian take another bite out of a strawberry. Before she could answer though someone beat her too it.

"Well I did get them for her..."

The entire team watched as the DJ strides into the room. Her face slightly flushed and a light layer of sweat as she dabbed at it with a towel. The team look at her gobsmacked while Jessie smiles and walks over to her enveloping her in a hug. "Hey Rockstar great show" Jessie says as her arms wrap around the musicians waist. Y/n throws her head back with a laugh as her arms wrap around her shoulders as they start to sway lightly, "Thanks Superstar".

But of course their moment was interrupted

"Woah woah woah hang on a second here!" Teagan exclaims causing the two to break apart. The goalkeeper points between the two, "You know each other?" Jessie just scrunches her face as she looks at her teammates confused faces, "Of course I know her. You guys knew that, I talk about her all the time". Karina scoffs, "We didn't know you were talking about the Y/n L/n!" Y/n watches with an amused smile present on her face as she watched her friend guffhaws at her friends throwing her hands up, "I literally have a picture of us on my desk!"

It was true. She never hid her friendship with the rising music star. She had multiple picture of the two in her room. Hell her phone screen was a picture of the two of them together.

"Just when you think you can't get cooler...you know a famous celebrity" Sunny mumble causing everyone to laugh. It's only when the laughter dies down that Y/n realises that everyone is now looking at her. She sheepishly scratches the back of her head, "Uh it's nice to meet you all. Jessie speaks very highly of you all". The team smile but it quickly turns to a smirk as they all see Jessie slip her hand into hers and they see the musician visibly calm down sending a smile to their teammate.

As they hung out it became painful clear that the two were harbouring feelings for the other but neither wanted to talk about it. The team found it amusing how comfortable she was with the musician. They watched as Jessie was splayed out across the couch, head resting on Y/n's lap as the musician mindlessly ran her fingers through her soft brown strands. It didn't help that they spotted the red number 17 Canadian jersey under the musicians flannel shirt. They had never seen their Canadian teammate so comfortable with someone like this before. So as it started to get late they decided to head off. Not only to get some rest but to also allow the two some much need alone time together.

The pair sat silently in bliss as Jessie closed her eyes focusing on how soft and delicate Y/n was while running her hand through her hair. "Thank you for coming tonight" Y/n whispers softly almost sacred to break the peaceful atmosphere between the two of them. Jessie just opens her eyes and intertwines her fingers with Y/n's other hand, "Of course. I love seeing you play. Even though I prefer when you play guitar". The corner of her mouth twitched upwards, "That's special. That's for only you. I don't mind everyone listening to my other stuff. But I only play the guitar for you".

The overnight sensation looked down to see that a small faint blush had tinted Jessie's cheeks. Without even thinking her hand moves from her hair to cup her cheek as her thumb grazed her cheekbone. She only snapped out of it when she saw that Jessie's face had now turned fully red leaving her to resemble a tomato. She was about to pull her hand away not wanting to make the girl uncomfortable but stopped when Jessie instead leaning into her hand.

As Y/n stared down at the soccer player, something just surged through her. It was like everything just clicked as she took a deep breath, "There's something I have to tell you". This catches Jessie's attention as she squeezes the other girl's hand, "What is it?"

Y/n picks her lips trying to figure out best how to tell her, "Have I ever told you where the inspiration for "Wildest Dreams" came from?" Jessie thinks for a second before shaking her head. Y/n hesitates for a second wondering if it was too late to turn back now, the fear starting to crept back in. Jessie sees this and sits up so she can look at her properly, "Y/n?" Y/n sighs running her hand through her hair, "Well it was about the promise we made when we were younger and then back when we were 17 when you said I shouldn't give up on my music. It was a really important day for me".

Y/n takes a deep breath stopping herself from rambling as she mentally scolds herself. Why was this so hard? It was only when Jessie moved a stray strand of hair behind her ear and gave her hand a squeeze did she look back at her. "Are you okay Y/n? You seem really distracted..." Jessie asks visibly concerned. Y/n just nods slowly, "Yeah...it's just I've been thinking about that promise we made lately. About how we would follow our dreams". Y/n looks directly into Jessie's brown chocolate orbs almost making Jessie forgot how to breathe, "Well there is something else I've been dreaming about for a while and I'm scared".

Jessie frowns wondering what could possibly be wrong with her best friend that has her this much out of it, "Why are you scared?" Y/n's eyes dart down at Jessie's lips for a split second before looking back up with a small fearful whisper, "Because I'm scared you'll hate me for it..." But Jessie barely let's her finish that sentence before she stares fiercely back at her, "I could never hate you".

Something broke between the two in that moment. This was the only reassurance Y/n needed before she started to close the already small gap between the two giving Jessie enough time to pull away in case. But that wasn't necessary as Jessie also leaned in as her hands latched onto her neck almost fearful that she would disappear soon after.

The kiss turned from shy and timid to deep and passionate, both trying to convey how long they have wanted this and wanting to make up for lost time. When they both pulled away they looked at each other trying to find any hint of doubt or regret in the other's face. But when they found none they both smiled brightly. Y/n pulling Jessie in closer so that her legs now laid across her lap causing Jessie to sequel only to be silenced by Y/n's lips meeting hers.

And to think that this all started with a promise to follow their dreams. Only to realise that they were each other's greatest dream.

[pigeon-princess]

TYBALT MONTAGUE’S BACKSTORY

It’s been a long time coming but here is the compiled backstory of my DnD Half-Orc Bard/Fighter Tybalt, tracing his life up until he joined the adventuring party known as The Tresspassers. I’ve also included drawings by me and other party members below the cut! 

(CW: SEXUAL ASSALT, RAPE) A small portion of Tybalt’s backstory contains some traumatic events, however they are not described in detail.

There is a collection of Islands off the coast of the continent of Iona, known by many as The Isles of Thiva. The culture of the islands is very Medditeranean, Italian and Greek inspired, so as you travel through you’d likely be seeing beautiful cliffside cities, lush wineries and lively street culture. 

For people living in Thiva, Orc pirates from across the seas are a serious problem, especially for certain villages on the Eastern coast. When an Orc raid passes through a city there is always a wave of destruction from the pirates, resulting pillaging, raping and murder thoughout.  

For the few women who survive their traumatic assault, only a handful of them are strong enough to survive and give birth to Half-Orc children. Because of this, Half-Orcs in Thiva are often looked down upon and shunned, almost as if they are a walking reminder of the trauma that the Isles have suffered. 

TYBALTS EARLY YEARS

Tybalt was one of these children. His mother was an Elven woman called Marina, from a small fishing village called Alta Maria. At the time of the Orc raid she had a husband and two, young half elven children called Mercutio and Benvolio. After surviving the attack, everyone thought she had gone mad for wanting to keep the child, but she was determined to love the baby despite the slander her husband threw at her. For her, the child was her own and one she wanted to protect them at any cost. Young Tybalt barely ever left his mothers side for the first 6 years of his life, his older brothers never wanted to play with him and his mothers husband couldn’t stand the sight of him. Despite all this he was happy by his mothers side. 

Marina - Tybalts Elven mother (Art by @lulii999​) 

Marina’s Drawings -  A young Tybalt finds a crab, Mercutio, Benvolio and baby Tybalt nap together, A grown up Mercutio and a grown up Benvolio (Art by @lulii999​) 

When Tybalt was around 6 years of age, his older brothers who are now 10 and 12 years old, invited him to play with them for the first time. He excitedly followed them to the docks where they managed to trap him in a fishing net and throw him onto a small fishing boat. Unable to escape the rope, the ship left port leaving Tybalt alone, trapped and afraid. He managed to survive the two day journey and the fishing boat arrived in the port of the capital city, Santiados.  When the boat made port, Tybalt made a run for it. He was lost and confused, but managed to survive by stealing food, avoiding the other Half-Orc kids that lived on the streets and sleeping in a barrel at night. Unable to find a way back home, and at this point thinking that perhaps his family didn’t want him anymore, Tybalt stayed living on the streets for 6 years. 

ON THE STREETS

During his time on the streets, when Tybalt was around 10 years old, he got into an altercation with an older Half-Orc boy who was picking on him. In a rage Tybalt pushed the teenager away from him, causing the boy to slip and stumble down a flight of stairs, cracking his head. When the other Half-Orcs saw that Tybalt had killed this kid, he became infamous and reveared among the Half-Orc street gangs. All Tybalt wanted to do was stay out of it. 

A NEW FAMILY 

At the age of 12 Tybalt decided to break into one of the larger merchant estates in the capital, thinking that he’d be able to steal a good amount of things from within. While rummaging through the mansion’s pantry, he was discovered by the family's 10 year old son, Romeo Montague, a human boy with bright blue eyes and blonde hair.

Tybalt threatened that he was going to hurt the kid if he came any closer, and instead Romeo suggested that if he is looking for food he should take the biscuits that they have at the back of the pantry. Tybalt hesitantly went further into the pantry to grab the biscuits, giving Romeo enough time to push the doors closed and lock him inside. Romeo immediately ran upstairs and called his parents to come down and see the kid in the pantry, his parents definitely thought he was making up some kind of imaginary friend until they heard angry yelling from behind the doors in the kitchen. 

Eventually the couple, Lorenzo and Helena Montague, sat Tybalt down and asked him about himself and why he was stealing from their pantry. With a bit of probing he told them that he lived on the streets and almost against his will Tybalt was given a bedroom to stay in and one day turned into a week. Before long Tybalt had a new family. 

Lorenzo and Helena Montague (Art by me) 

Teenage Romeo Montague (Art by me)

Growing up with his first ever friend, Romeo and Tybalt would get up to so many things together. They would spend their time pulling pranks, running away from lessons and throwing their tabaxi friend Antonio (Against his will) off the balcony to see him land on his feet (The tabaxi friend’s full name is Antonio Banderas). 

During their teenage years, Tybalt realised that his feelings for Romeo were beyond friendship and he developed a very deep, long standing crush for his best friend. He’d write poems and songs about his angst, about how much he loved him and how he was always chasing girls and never looked at him that way. 

Adult Romeo Montague and Antonio Banderas (Art by @lulii999​)

A TERRIBLE STORM 

By the time Tybalt was 21 and Romeo was 19, Romeo had started working for the family business in the merchant trade and Tybalt worked full time as his personal bodyguard and right hand man. Things took a turn for the worse when they sailed out to a business meeting with a man called Lord Magnus Kraus, an extremely well known merchant sailor in charge of an armada of sailors known as the Magdolina. 

As Magnus controls a large portion of the trade routes between certain ports, it was vital that Romeo secure this business deal in order for the Montagues to open up further trade. During the times negotiations seemed to be going poorly, Tybalt was starting to be very wary of the way that Magnus was looking at Romeo. It was like he was some kind of creature in an exhibit, and in a way that was extremely sinister and sexual. As Romeo appeared to be completely oblivious to this Tybalt confronted Magnus alone and threatened him. 

Magnus was curious about Tybalt, and offered a deal, if Tybalt agreed to sleep with him, he would agree to the trade deal and he wouldn’t lay a hand on Romeo. Tybalt was stuck in an awful situation, he knew that if he refused Romeo could be in danger and the trade deal would completely fall apart. Magnus Kraus is an extremely powerful man and one bad word from him could run their whole business into the ground. He agreed, and the next night he showed up at Magnus’s quarters. 

That night Magnus sexually assaulted him and treated him more like a beast than a person, using ropes to restrain him and whips to beat him with. Calling him awful things and breaking him both physically and mentally. There was terrible thunder and lightning that night, and from this day on Tybalt has a fear of storms as it always reminds him of Magnus. When Tybalt thought it was over, Magnus ordered him to come again tomorrow night or the deal was off. 

Terrified, beaten and bruised, Tybalt did just that and the ordeal continued every night for the next week. He even lied to Romeo that he was going to do extra work for the Magdolina so Magnus could get Tybalt alone on his ship for another 2 weeks. When all of this was done Tybalt returned back to the Montagues and swore he’d never tell a soul what he’d been through. The new trade routes were going extremely well and his parents were over the moon at Romeo and Tybalt's successful trip. 

It was shortly after this that Romeo met a beautiful red haired woman called Juliet Capulet, and Tybalt watched the love of his life fall head over heels in love with someone else. Juliet was extremely smart and insightful, early on she could see how Tybalt felt for Romeo. She tried to confront him about it to say she wasn’t sorry for loving Romeo but was sorry about how it was affecting Tybalts feelings, but he continued to deny anything of the sort. 

A few years later Romeo and Juliet announced their engagement and asked Tybalt to be their best man.  On the night before the wedding, Tybalt couldn’t bear to ruin their day with his own heartbroken feelings. Without saying goodbye or even leaving a note, Tybalt fled Santiados and sailed away to Estredios across the sea. 

A SAILOR AT HEART

Heartbroken, and lost, he spent all of his savings on food, alcohol and plent of company. When he was properly broke he hopped on a boat and started working on the open ocean as a sailor. 

During his time is Estredios and at sea, Tybalt did what he knew best to escape his heartbreak. He flirted and slept with people to his heart’s content over the next 2 years, learning not to get too close with people to keep his heart safe. He made a few good sailor friends who managed to pull him out of his darkest times and allowed him to enjoy his time on the seas. His memories of his time on the ocean are some of his favourite, although it was tough work at times Tybalt felt truly at peace when he was aboard a ship. 

Wanting to explore beyond the sea, his escapades eventually lead him to arrive at the docks of Finras, a port town on the coast of the continent of Iona. And it was there in a tavern where he picked up a job to help find a dwarven woman’s missing father, and that’s where his adventure with the party began…..

Thank you so much for reading Tybalt’s backstory! I’ve been playing this dnd character for over a year now and he means so much to me. If you have any further questions feel free to send me an ask! I’d love to answer them.

[motherjoel]

ugly christmas sweaters (spencer reid x fem!reader)

summary: after your parents leave you alone for christmas, spencer tries to brighten your mood

a/n: this is me trying to start writing again and it is truly not my best work AT ALLLLLL but I was in the christmas spirit so here is... something

wc: 2.5k

warnings/includes: too much fluff, reader is basically an elf, spencer is so sexy and sweet and nice and hot

-

Spencer had noticed the way your demeanor was shifted today- the normal glimmer that lived in your eyes had diminished into a dull gaze as you flipped through the mounds of files in front of you. This was out of character for you, especially during the holiday season. You were known as the office elf during December, constantly bringing in freshly baked cookies and stringing tinsel over your teammates computers. Today however, there was no sparkle in your eye and you weren’t wearing your normal Christmas sweaters (Spencer’s favorite was the one that said “Hydroxide, Hydroxide, Hydroxide! Merry Christmas!” with a glitter Santa in the middle). It took him until lunchtime to finally do something about it. As you poured yourself another cup of coffee into an un-festive mug, he took the opportunity to ask you about your change in enthusiasm.

“Hey Y/N, is… is everything okay?” he asked, grabbing the coffee pot from you and refilling his own mug. You took a long sip before rubbing your temple with a sigh.

“Yeah, I…” you started before seeing Spencer's suspiciously raised eyebrow. “No, okay? I’m not! Because every year my parents come to visit and help me decorate my apartment and we go to pick out a Christmas tree and we make our own peppermint bark and chocolate chip cookies and… well, they’re going on a stupid cruise! They left yesterday and they won't be back until New Years, and it just... sucks.” you finished, noticing that you spilled half of your coffee onto the ground from your wild gesticulations. Spencer stared at you for a moment, wide-eyed, before snapping out of his daze to grab a wad of paper towels to clean up your mess. 

“Well, I…” he started, kneeling to sop up the mess, “I know this probably won’t help, but I-I’m not busy this weekend!” he said, standing up to throw out the wet paper towels as you cleaned up the extra coffee that spilled onto the counter.

“Well, neither am I. Because my stupid parents-” you started to go into another rant which was cut off by Spencer before you could continue.

“No, Y/N, I meant I’m not busy this weekend so what if… we did something festive? You know, your parents aren’t home and nobody should be alone for the holidays. What if we went to get you a Christmas tree? And I’m not the best at baking, but-” he started to suggest before you tightly wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest.

“Thank you,” you said, muffled into his cardigan. Spencer was thankful you couldn’t see the blush dusted on his cheeks. You pulled away after a moment, but the warmth of your embrace lingered with Spencer for longer than he’d like to admit. “Thats really sweet of you Spence, but you don’t have to do that for me,” you said as you refilled your mug. 

“But I want to!” he said, a little too loudly. You gave him a look before he continued. “Seriously, I mean i’ve never really made a big deal about the holidays but, it could be fun!” he smiled dorkily as the sparkle in your eyes reignited a bit. 

“Spence, that is… so sweet. We’re gonna have so much fun, I promise. When are you free?” you asked.

“Uh, always?” he said as you laughed, suddenly feeling very self conscious about his word choice. “I mean, not always, I, uh, I do things?” he defended, not even convincing himself. 

“Don’t worry, nobody in the BAU has any social life,” you reassured him. “How about… today? I know it's kinda soon but you got me really excited and since it’s Friday and we’re off this weekend we can get all of our shopping and decorating done! Sorry, I seem crazy” you laughed. Spencer ignored the pang in his chest at the angelic coo of your laughter.

“You’re not crazy, it's cute,” he laughed before he realized what he had just said, coughing to fill the ensuing silence. “I mean, sure, that sounds great,” he smiled as he watched you head back to your desk, coffee in hand and a newfound spring in your step

Hours had passed since your conversation at the coffee machine and you were just about ready to leave work, your stack of finished paperwork mounds taller than it had been at the beginning of the day. With a satisfied sigh, you looked to Spencer’s desk to see it was empty- he definitely hadn’t left, his jacket hanging on his chair, but he wasn’t in the bullpen. After looking around for a few moments, a bright light caught your eye from the bullpen entrance. 

“Oh my god,” Emily laughed, leaning back in her chair.

“Wow,” JJ laughed. You turned your attention to where they were looking to see Spencer, wearing the most ridiculous Christmas tree light-up hat with a decadent mug of hot chocolate balancing in his hands.

“What is this!” you yelled, springing out of your seat and running up to him, admiring his hat.

“I thought you could use a pick me up,” he blushed as you reached up and pressed a button near his ear that made the hat sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”

“Pretty boy is whipped,” Morgan remarked, not-so-subtly as he received a glare from pretty boy himself. 

“Spencer, I love it,” you smiled as he handed you the mug of cocoa, which you accepted gratefully. 

“I’m glad,” he smiled watching you sip from the mug, giving yourself a whipped cream mustache. “Oh, you’ve got a little…” he said, gesturing to his upper lip.

“Huh?” you said, attempting and failing to lick it off.

“Here,” he said, reaching out to wipe the remaining cream off your upper lip without thinking, licking it off his finger. You were honestly shocked- he didn't like touching people, although you were often an exception, but this was a new level. He didn’t seem to notice the gasps coming from the team as he grabbed his things to leave the office. You decided to ignore the gesture- you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, risking that he wouldn’t touch you like that again. 

“Ready to go?” you asked after finishing your drink.

“Yup,” he smiled, following you to the elevator and leaving behind a shocked group of FBI agents. 

The elevator was filled with your excited rambling as you made your descent to the parking lot.

“So I was thinking that since it’s already a little late we can just order some chinese food and bake cookies, but tomorrow, we can get a tree and decorate my apartment?” you smiled at Spencer, not taking notice of his entranced gaze. “We can also decorate your apartment too of course, I think I have some extra tinsel and lights,” you said as the elevator doors opened.

“Oh, we don’t have to do mine, I’m not really one for that kind of thing,” he stammered, following you to your cars.

“Nonsense! I’m not gonna be living in a winter wonderland while you’re living in a dark library. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just want to spread the Christmas cheer,” you clarified, getting into your car after telling Spencer to follow you to your apartment. He couldn’t help the racing of his heart as he drove- he didn’t need to follow you, already knowing where you lived from his many previous visits. 

After putting his car in park, Spencer headed over to your parked car a few spots over where you were reaching far into the trunk.

“I took these from my parents house when they bailed on me,” you said, rummaging through your packed car. “Here!” you exclaimed, pulling out a pile of Christmas lights and decorations. Grabbing most of the pile, Spencer followed you up to your apartment, smiling at the skip in your step. After struggling for a moment to unlock the door, you finally pushed it open with your hip and set the lights you were holding onto your counter.

“Stay right here,” you said to Spencer with a mischievous smirk, running into your bedroom. He made himself busy by sorting through the pile of decorations, discovering a homemade Santa Claus that seemed like an enthusiastic 6 year old made it. He didn’t have much time to observe his find before you came running back into the room wearing a Christmas sweater. Not just any sweater, but Spencer’s favorite- Hydroxide, hydroxide, hydroxide. 

“It’s your favorite!” you giggled, doing a twirl for him to get the full effect.��

“Wow, it looks great,” he smiled as you handed him a wrapped box. “What’s this?” he said, eyebrows raised.

“Oh, just an early Christmas present. Consider it a thank you for helping me out,” you smiled, urging him to open it. He did so, carefully ripping the wrapping paper off to open the box, revealing the exact same sweater you were wearing.

“Is this…?” he said, slowly pulling the sweater out of the box.

“It is! I thought we could be twins,” you laughed as he observed the sweater, open-mouthed in half shock, half adoration. 

“I love it y/n,” he said, still shocked that you noticed his admiration towards the sweater.

“Go put it on!” you suggested, laughing at Spencer’s wide eyed stare as you ushered him into the bathroom. By the time he came out, you’d already gathered all of the cookie ingredients and were preparing for the night of baking ahead of you. Spencer emerged with a nervous smile, eyebrows raised for your approval. You ignored the pang in your heart at the sight.

“Wow, you look great!” you laughed, walking over to him after noticing a tag sticking out at the back of his neck. “Hold on, lemme just…” you started, tongue darting out in focus as you tried to rip the tag out. “Bend down,” you ordered, amused by the blush dusted across his cheeks as he slowly knelt. Without thinking, you leant down and tugged at the tag with your teeth, eventually ripping it off. “Aha!” you exclaimed with pride, tag in hand. 

“Thank you,” he clamored to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“We look hot,” you joked, grabbing his hand and twirling him around a bit, the blush never leaving his cheeks. “You know, I don’t like the phrase ‘ugly christmas sweater.’ I actually think they’re quite charming! It’s like, why discriminate against an entire clothing item just because it’s not the most flattering! They have personality.”

“Did you know that ugly Christmas sweaters became popular in the 50s?” Spencer started, encouraged by the interest in your eyes. “After the mass commercialization of Christmas, “jingle bell sweaters” were invented which soon came to be known as the ‘ugly’ Christmas sweater,” he said, following you into the kitchen.

“How did you know that? I mean I know you know everything but where did you even read that?” You laughed, pouring some ingredients into the mixer.

“Oh, well I know how much you like Christmas, so… I did some light reading about it. Did you know that Jingle Bells was originally meant to be a Thanksgiving song?” he said, too focused on his measuring cup to notice your in-awe stare.

“I think I love you,” you blurted before slapping your hand over your mouth. Spencer choked on his own oxygen, blowing a gust of flour around the kitchen and all over your face. The silence that followed felt thicker than the cloud of flour you were currently trying not to choke on.

“I-I’m sorry, but what did you just say?” Spencer asked in a daze, white powder settling onto the front of his new sweater.

“Um, I didn’t- didn’t say anything!” you tried to play off the moment, busying your nervous hands by frantically swiping the flour off the counter and into the trash can. 

“Y/N, um, did you just say that you…” he pressed on, wincing almost.

“You know what, just forget I said anything Spence! Of course I love you, you’re my best friend, it’s no big deal,” you said, dusting the rest of the flower off your own sweater. 

“Oh. Yeah, of course, um. I’ll just… get the eggs,” he muttered, shuffling to the fridge. After a few moments of silence, you decided that you had nothing to lose.

“Spence?” you asked.

“Mm?” he hummed, focusing intensely on cracking an egg.

“I love you,” you said, setting down the spoon you were mixing with.

“Yeah, you said that Y/N. I love you too,” he smiled, lips pressed tightly together in a way that signaled he wasn’t saying everything that was on his mind, which he most definitely wasn’t.

“No, god this is not how I wanted to tell you. I wasn’t actually ever going to tell you but maybe the Christmas spirit is making me go crazy. I love you love you. Like, how… Mrs. Claus loves Santa,” you laughed nervously as silence filled the room. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said anything,” you apologized while avoiding his stare. 

“You… love me love me?” he asked, corners of his lips curling into a soft smile.

“Mmhm,” you hummed, popping a chocolate chip into your mouth. That was when the laughing started. Spencer almost doubled over in laughter, his shocked expression shifting into amused disbelief. “Well you don’t have to laugh at me for being in love with you,” you huffed, irritated at his response. He quickly composed himself.

“No! I'm not laughing at you, I’m laughing at the situation,” he said, wringing his hands together. You raised an eyebrow, encouraging him to continue. “God, Y/N, I mean was it not obvious?” he asked, smiling once again.

“What, Spence? You’re creeping me out,” you said warily.

“You are the sweetest, most beautiful person I have ever met. I think everyone who has ever met you has fallen in love with you,” he said, stepping forward a bit, encouraged by your entranced stare. “You are the only person I would spend the weekend baking and decorating with, I-I mean… wow. I can’t believe you’re in love with me,” he smiled, almost giddy at the thought. As you snapped out of your trance, you hit him lightly on the arm. “What?” he asked, grabbing his arm.

“Why didn’t you tell me you idiot!” you laughed, almost jumping into his arms. He was taken aback but he quickly brought his arms around you, pulling your body flush with his.

“I never thought you felt the same,” he whispered into your hair before pulling away. You looked him in the eyes for a moment before leaning in slowly.

“I always have,” you whispered before he connected your lips, the two of you finally melting into each other after your years of pining.

-

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[rapspud]

Bittersweet

Bittersweet    A/N: Decided to rewrite this one. Please enjoy.

Yoongi looked at your friends as he sneered at your prone form sprawled out on the ground, your fingers scrambling to find your glasses.

“Aw what’s the matter? The poor baby can't see?” He purred as he picked up your glasses and dangled them in front of your face before throwing them into the dumpster. “Have fun diving!” He cackles as he slides past your prone figure, cruelly stepping on your hand as he passes.

You could hear the snickers of his friends behind you. You watched as his best friend, Seokjin clapped Yoongi on the shoulder, and whispered, “Oi, I get the whole I hate “y/n” thing but seriously—that was a bit much don’t you think?”

Yoongi  couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “She ratted us out! So I fixed it-and now she can’t see to snitch! And shouldn’t you be on my side? You’re in just as much trouble as I am!”

Seokjin could only look at Yoongi like he had a third head, “ Yeah I guess, but still...there is-” at Yoongi’s raised eyebrow he swallowed what he wanted to say, instead choosing to leave rather than to help Yoongi’s victim, “Hey I gotta go I’ll catch you later okay?”

Yoongi smiled and waved good-bye before walking away from the group. How could he possibly explain how much he hated Y/N? No one here knew the truth about your families-how he had to share a home with you,  your family serving his. He had no respite from you. Yeah, Y/N deserved everything she got, he thought as he got into his car. Plus it's not like you wouldn’t rat him out when you got home about what happened. This time as he drove past you and saw you hunched in on yourself, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt as he saw you clutching your injured hand, staring resolute at the dumpster, knowing full well that you would go in after the glasses. After all, he knew how hard your mother worked to buy them for you, he knew how you worked 2 jobs and also kept track of your younger brothers. Deep down, he really hoped that maybe this time you would finally explode and tell everyone about all the horrid acts he committed against you. 

Except that you never did tell on him. 

In fact, you avoid Yoongi like the plague.  After finally scrambling into the dumpster and reclaiming your glasses, you clambored back out, hand still screaming in pain. As you stand there wiping the garbage from the lenses and picking off random refuse from your clothes you honestly don’t think you can sink any lower than this. You swipe grimey hands at your cheeks as hot tears run down them, thankful that you are alone. And as you walk away you begin to make plans. You couldn’t keep doing this. And with renewed energy you begin walking home, not didn’t looking back choosing instead to forge ahead, putting one foot in front of another until finally you were in your mid=twenties, and had your own little place. You were happy with your life. But you should have known. All good things must come to an end eventually. You hadn’t thought about him in years, attending school, graduating, opening up a bakery with your best friend. Essentially you were hiding, but not really. 

And then by some ill stroke of luck, he found you.

You awaken to the blaring of your alarm with a groan. Was it really 8 am? The flashing numbers of your clock inform you that it was in fact 8:59. Shit you were late. Cursing your snooze butten, you scrambled out of your bed and grabbed the cleanest clothes you could find off the floor and stumble as you attempt a whole new balancing act: pulling up your pants while holding a hot cup of coffee and a piece of toast dangling precariously from your teeth. As you run down the street towards the bus, slinging your backpack over your shoulder while you scramble to tuck your shirt in you promptly run into a solid wall and fall on your ass. Your hair is covering your face as you look up at  what you had plowed into, an apology already leaving your mouth when you got to the face. “Um…hi, uh…sorry about that.”

“Y/N. From YHSN?”

“Yes?” you become wary, no one around here really knows you as you chose to keep to yourself…“Do I know you?”

The grin that spread across the man’s face could be described as nothing less than cruel and vicious. “Yeah, Y/N L/N right? I am here to inform you that you have 24 hours to vacate the premises. Good luck.” He stated before unceremoniously dropping an envelope onto your lap and turning on her heel to leave you in a stunned heap on the floor.

What the hell had just happened? Maybe you were still dreaming?

You were dazed for a moment as your brain tried to compute the absolute absurdity of what had just happened and then you were on your feet chasing the man, yelling at him to stop but he just kept on walking.

Finally catching up to the man, you grab her arm, “What the fuck man?” you yell, “this is illegal as hell! Thirty days is the minimum!” You shove the notice back at the man, hitting him in her (very solid) chest hard.

“Y/n, Y/n, I see you're still full of venom huh? It’s completely legal actually-you see I” he leaned forward, “own the building now. And to my delight, what do I learn? I find out that Y/N L/N happens to be a tenant! Guess how happy I was to finally find you again after all these years and then get to have you vacate your home.” he laughs as you gape at him like a fish.

“Min fucking Yoongi, I do not have time for your petty ass childish bullshit! ” you hers, voice laced with venom.

“Aw kitten you remembered! I am truly honored! But alas I cant stay and chit-chat, and well, neither can you. Tata chica!” With that he jerks her arm from your grasp, sending you back to the ground in shock for the second time that morning, before climbing into an expensive black car and driving away.

You scream curses to the sky, because after 8 peaceful years, the man you had spent so long  running from and then finally forgetting, had found you. But of course, the sky only decides to rain. And as you trudge back home to call into work, (because seriously fuck this day) you can’t help but wonder how everything came to this moment. After a shower and change of clothes, you fall into your bed, allowing yourself one moment of respite before you begin to tackle this new problem, closing your eyes.

You were back there again, trapped both in a small body and the cave that haunts you as you watch helplessly at the rising water. Your tiny voice is raised, tinted with fear, “I told you we shouldn’t come here! My mama said-“

The boy next to you cut you off, “Crying ain’t gonna fix it, I will save us”

“You can't even swim,” You yell, unable to remain calm. 

“I AM GONNA SAVE US!” the small boy shouted, “so don’t cry Y/N.” He gave you a small smile, one that made you feel slightly safer and he took hold of your hand. “Follow me and don’t let go no matter what.”

“Okay,” you say, for some reason feeling braver after placing your faith along with your hand into the boy’s hand. He said he would, so of course he would save both of you. After all, he was your best friend and you don’t pick losers.

It was a lot harder though, when all was said and done. Yes, the two of you made it out of the cave alive, but not without nearly drowning, and you had slipped and injured your ankle along the way. Luckily, you did make it out, and while the two of you spent a cold wet night huddled together on the beach, you were alive. In the morning, you were rescued further as the search teams found. And while your mother had you wrapped up in her warmth and was crying and thanking the people over and over that had saved you, the same welcoming was not happening to the young boy. You could hear screaming as a woman in a fine dress and her husband yelled at the boy, your tiny hero, before there was a loud smack. You watch as the boy falls, hand clenched to her face, tears streaming down her face as her mother continues to land hard blows upon her body until she is dragged away. You cried out for you friend and as the two of you met eyes, for the first time you saw hatred reflected back at you. That was the day Min Yoongi stopped being your friend and became your tormentor.

He followed you everywhere, taunting you, breaking your things, and ultimately breaking you. Your mother finally quit working for her house the day he’d thrown your glasses into the garbage and you had come home, broken glasses in hand, face streaked with tears and reeking of garbage -you had finally confessed what had happened, what all had been happening. You had moved away, your mom working several jobs and then as well as yourself working, then you working to  pay your way through chef school and finally moving out into your own place. And all of it had just been destroyed because he found you.

You sigh looking up at your ceiling letting your anger consume you as you curse Min Yoongi to a lifetime of diarrhea. And an itchy butt. And you hoped her eyebrows fell out, just for good measure.

You look around your apartment one last time before closing the door with finality. this asshole, you think to yourself. “Just wait” you say as you look down at the address your brother had just texted you.

An hour later you stand before a gated house and ring the doorbell. And ring it. And ring it. And continue ringing it (after all it was nearly 6 am, and as you had learned that morning, if you want to ruin someone's day, do it first thing in the morning) until a sleepy figure stumbles outside and smacks your hand away. You take this opportunity to dart inside the gate and into the house carrying your things with you.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” Yoongi yells at you from outside, beginning to stomp back to her front door. You could only grin as you take in the pajama bottoms and robe, while you stand there like a goddamn Amazonian queen, “You took my home. this is payback.” and then you dialed the police, “Yes? Officer? There’s a half naked man on my lawn, please send help! I’m so scared”

You couldn’t help the grin that covers your face as you smile at Yoongi, “Good luck asshole.” You say sweetly, before slamming the door in her face. Nothing had ever sounded so sweet as the sound of the lock turning over, followed a second later by desperate pounding at the door. And Yoongi could only pound on the door until the cops showed up and he explained that this was, in fact, her home, as well as that the intruder was actually you. The officers had asked him if he wanted you arrested and for once he let it go, telling them that you were having a lovers quarrel and apologizing that they had to come out over something so silly. As the cops pulled away, he went to the back of the house and slammed the sliding glass door open only to find the house seemingly empty. As he walked from room to room he couldn’t help but get angrier and angrier. But when he found you passed out on her bed, he paused, somehow her anger dissipating instantly. He stood there, looking at your sleeping body and wondered if you would ever know her real feelings for you. If he would ever be able to tell you. And the real question: could you forgive him? He knew it was asking a lot, but he could only hope. He sat and thought about how to express to you the things he needed to say. He wondered how exactly did one explain how guilty he felt about how he treated you, how he didn’t really understand why he went out of her way to make your life miserable back then…and then you had left him. How, when you left he realized just how broken he was inside. When he bought the building he couldn’t believe her luck when he saw your name as one of the tenants, but her old ways came back hard and for some ungodly childish reason he couldn’t control himself. That he should have been apologizing that morning and telling you how thankful he was that it had also brought you back to him. He guessed that it was far too late for him to ever have your forgiveness and he couldn’t help the smile that played on her mouth as he approached the bed. He reached out a hand to smooth back some hair that covered your face when you wherpered, “Yoongi...” he stilled, “…I’m sorry” you mumbled. What could you possibly be sorry for? He couldn’t help it, but it made him angry that you would apologize to him after everything he’d done and especially while in such a vulnerable state that the next thing he knew he was grabbing the blanket and ripping it away from your curled form. It’s momentum  sends you over the edge of the bed to land in a heap on the floor. You sit up cursing her very existence,

 “What the hell Y/N?!” He yells right back, while you could only manage to stare up at him from where you sat on the floor. But this time you weren’t having any of her bullshit. You jump up and get in her face “ What the hell? What do YOU mean what the hell? Who the hell buys a building solely to evict one person?! Are you that rich? Do you hate me that much?”

Yoongi yelled back, “Hell yeah I do!“ 

"You have issues, Min Yoongi! I did nothing to you except be born! Do you know how hard I worked to forget what you did to me? And you come just back,” you pause, swallowing thickly, you would not cry. Not here. Not now, “But not anymore! I won't let you break me again Yoongi. I am worth so much more than that!”

Exhausted, you  move to push around him but he grabs your wrists instead and pins you against the wall.

“Let me go you asshole!” you yell at him fighting back for once in your life, all while trying to hide your face and the tears that were no longer just threatening to spill over. “Can't you just hate me from a distance? I’m sorry your mom was a horrid cunt to you! I’m sorry, okay! But please, just let me go! Leave me alone” And then her hands were gone, and you were free. You couldn’t help it, you looked up and stared him in the eyes, for once determined to make him see how he wrecked you.

Yoongi could only stare at you, watching as the tears fell, tears once again caused by him, and then he heard the five words that ripped open her wounds, words he knew he deserved, said in a voice so broken he didn’t know where he should start to even attempt to repair it.

“I hate you Min Yoongi.“

He couldn’t stand it, he knew he deserved them but he just couldn’t stand there and just accept them. Accepting those words would be like giving up, and giving up probably the only pure thing he still had in her life. Had. And so he moved, not thinking about consequences, only a desire to cleanse those words from the air around him. He grabs you again, pushing you against the wall, capturing your face in one hand, forcing you to meet her eyes, while he brushes your hair away with the other, "Good. Never forget it.”

And then he crashes her mouth against yours.

You didn’t know how what was happening was happening and some stupid part of you was excited to have him pressed against you,  mouth was moving against yours and then you were responding and for some reason it felt so good–like coming home. It was like your body suddenly was against everything you wanted-you found yourself wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss, a giggle bubbling up when you nipped at her lip and he groaned. and then you both were tearing at each other's clothes in desperation. And then the world stops making sense. You and Min Yoongi, enemy of the state #1 were having sex. And it was good. It felt so right, like you two had been made to fit each other only. When it was over he lay behind you, placing gentle kisses along your neck and down your collar bone. The last thing you remember before falling asleep in your enemy’s arms was Yoongi gently wherpering a muffled “I’m sorry” into your ear over and over.

When you wake, you are surprised to find an arm wrapped around your waist and you freeze as the memories of the night before come rushing back and you begin to mentally beat yourself up as you carefully slide out of the bed and grab your clothes, making a mad dash out of the house, dressing yourself along the way.

No way had you slept with Yoongi and enjoyed it. You were an idiot of the highest order. You slept with the man who wanted you homeless because he hated you.

You let out a deep sigh as you did a very new special walk of shame to your job, where your boss, Mandi greeted you by yelling, “Oi ! What cat pissed in your cheerios?”

Causing the other workers to laugh until you pinned them with your patented Crazy-eye ™, at which point they scurried away except for that moron Seokjin who slung his arm around your shoulders jovially, “So why is my favorite girl doing the walk of shame?”

You glare and shrug his arm off, “None of your business.” 

“Dude its obs-you’re like a whole 4 hours late-and you are never late. So what happened? Anyone I know?”

“You’ll just call me an idiot if I tell you.”

“I swear on cake I won't.”

You raise an eyebrow before saying a name you never thought you’d say just to see him eat his words. “Min Yoongi.”

“Shut the front door! You’re an idiot”

“The cake is ashamed of you and asks that you keep your distance.” You say as you move to the back rooms to put away your belongings.

Not giving up, Seokjin follows you, even going so far as to hand you your apron, “Seriously? Didn’t he like-”

“Terrorize me to the point of moving? Then find me years later and evict me? Yep.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?” Seokjin asked worriedly, For the shit talking between the two of you, you smile to know he does really care.

“I have to be.”

“Did you at least use a condom?” He asks.

“Oh my god.”

“You really are an idiot. But don’t worry…you know I’ve got your back right? Well, we’ve got your back.”

You could only stare at Seokjin as your mind whirls through the consequences of last night, “It should be fine right?” you ask.

“Sure, cupcake. Keep telling yourself that”

There is a ding from the door and you see your brother Jungkook shuffles in with your other brother Namjoon, and giving Seokjin a look that clearly says “Keep your mouth shut if you want to live” you take a deep breath and head behind the counter to wash your hands, greeting them as you go.

“COFFEE. COFFEE NOW.” Namjoon grunts demandingly, taking a seat and burying her head in her hands,  while Jungkook adds a half-hearted “Please…and a raspberry jelly for me.”

“Rough night?” You ask as you pour the two men coffee and grab Jungkook her donut and slide it in front of them.

Jungkook grins, “Nah, Joon thought he could out drink me. He thought wrong.”

“Shhhhhhhhh!! You’re so loud,” hersed Namjoon, shoving a hand at Jungkook’s face and missing entirely.

You grin and speak extra loud, “Shouldn’t you know by now to let the kids drink and you go home and sleep?”

Namjoon just glares at you, “I have a gun.”

“I aint scared of you.”

The shop bursts into laughter as Namjoon buries her head in her arms on the counter, “Why do you hate me so much?” He whines.

“Mom likes you more, and I’m a petty bitch.”

Jungkook grins, “But she likes me most!”

Both you and Namjoon glare at him, “Shut up!”

Yoongi wakes up to an empty bed and he frowns, crawling out of bed and pulling on her boxers. He wanders around the house looking for you, hoping that you haven't run away and when he can’t find you, her heart sinks. Was he that awful that you would still run away from him even after what you had shared? And worse, what if he had gone too far this time?

He makes her way back to her room and grabs her phone, calling her secretary.

“Yo.” Answered Hoseok.

“Really that’s how you answer the phone? You do know that I am your boss right?”

“Debatable today.”

Yoongi rolls her eyes, “Anyways, I need you to find someone…”

“Well you know Imma need a little more…”

“Y/N. You remember her right?”

“You mean the girl you tortured in school because you didn’t have the balls to tell her how you lurrrrrrrved her.”

“I see you wish to die today.”

“No, not today. So you wish for me to find your wayward love?”

“Yeah.”

“Mandi’s shop.” Hoseok cheerfully replied, as if this should be common knowledge. 

“Oh yeah, great idea bring me some coffee please?”

“No, you idiot, Y/N works there. She is actually her partner” Hosoek irritatingly says matter of factly.

“The hell?! Why do you know this but I don’t?”

“Dude, seriously? You do know they were friends growing up and just because you made her run away by being a complete ass doesn’t mean they stopped being friends.”

“My best friend and my sister have been lying to me.” 

“It’s not lying when you never asked. But Yoongi…you should let her go. It’s been a long time and I know you had feelings but with how you treated her–“

"She was here.” Yoongi grunted, running a hand over her face as he stood in her closet trying to think of what to wear. What says “I come in peace”? Maybe he could get Hoseok to dress up as Spock and talk to Y/N before he does. 

“What? And you’re alive?”

“Yeah. We…um…she was gone this morning,” Yoongi sits down on her bed, running a hand through her hair.

"Oh…” and as realization hits, Hoseok intones sagely,” ...oh my god you’re fucking moron.”

“You know I can fire you.”

“Please bitch, I know all your deepest darkest secrets you ain’t gonna fire me.”

“Just…shit…what should I do?” Yoongi asks, finally letting go of her big bad boss act.

“Dude, I don’t know. You slept with her…maybe you should just…”

“I um…fucked up more than that…” He thinks about how you had felt, how he had felt...how absolutely perfect it had been for just one night, A flicker of fear strums through her heart at the thought that this was not salvageable at all. 

“No. no way. Our friendship is over.” Hoseok cracks from the other side of the phone.

“Just help me okay?” 

There was a long pause before he heard a heavy sigh, “Fine, but no games. She has a good thing going on and you-”

“I swear it's different this time!” Yoongi pleads. 

“Whatever. I should warn you though.”

“Warn me about what?”

“Her brothers.”

“Namjoon and Jungkook? We were old friends, what about them?”

“You were old friends until they found out how you treated her. And bonus points-they are both cops now. Partners even, so you should probably pray for your soul.”

With a groan, Yoongi finally gets up and begins to get dressed putting Hoseok on speakerphone. “I’m so dead.”  

“Yep,” affirms Hoseok, “So does that mean I can have your stuff?” 

Rolling her eyes and thinking he really needs a new assistant, Yoongi growls out“See you at the office.” only to hear Hoseok laughing before he hangs up the phone. 

Yoongi finishes getting dressed, and running a hand over her face as he contemplates this new information. You’d been right under her nose the entire time and everyone had kept it a secret. He guessed he deserved it though, he was a complete and utter ass to you. He also guesses it’s time to make it up to you and hopefully, you would forgive him and let him into your heart, where he belonged. After all, you’d always been in his.

2 months later

Yoongi stands outside her (former) sister’s shop watching as you serve your customers, and realizes sadly that it was the first time in a long time that  he’d really ever seen you smile. He wanted that smile for himself and himself alone, but he wasn’t sure how to get it. When he had remodeled your former apartment, expanding it through the two vacant units on either side of you, you just got mad at him for evicting you, when he was just redoing the apartment and you claimed it was far too large for you by yourself now. But that was the point wasn't it? He was hoping that somehow you would just...come back to him on your own and he wouldn’t really have to put any work in. Yoongi realizes then that he is an absolute dumbass.

After all, nothing he’d done so far had managed to make you smile at him or hell just give him the time of day and he was beyond frustrated. Couldn’t you see how hard he was trying for you?

Mandi pokes her head out of the shop interrupting his train of thought,

“What the hell are you doing here?” she snaps at him.

“Wow, do you greet all your customers like this?”

“Yoongi. Listen. Whatever it this is about now isn’t–”

Realization hits for the second time that morning, “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Mandi pauses, looking him up and down, “There’s nothing to tell if you already know.”

He could almost feel the metaphorical walls slamming down around him as Mandi went on guard. “Mandi!”

“No. Not about ther.”

“I’ve known for almost a month.”

“Then you should go know somewhere else.”  Mandi stepped outside, becoming a most effective blockade. If someone was to ever wage war against his sister, his money, hell, his entire fortune would be on Mandi.

“Listen, you’re my brother and I love you and I know you know what you did wrong, and really it's sweet you want to make amends but …Yoongi, sometimes things…”

“I slept with her.”

“Do you want a trophy?” Mandi snapped, her fists clenched, before she  shook her head, “you have five seconds or I’m opening ther door and I’m calling her brothers out here.”

“We didn’t use protection.”

“Well then I guess today you die you little fucking weasel.”

“I love her.”

That’s when he remembered his sister’s left hook and then the lights went out.

Mandi stomps into the store grabbing you by the arm and dragging you upstairs ignoring your protests, shoving you into the bedroom and giving you a look reserved for her son’s Taehyung and Jimin when they are acting up. “Stay.”

Mandi goes back downstairs and motions Namjoon and Kookie over, “Listen, I know you hate Min Yoongi with like the passion of 7 fiery suns but I need you to hold that rage in and help me get his ass inside.”

Namjoon was already up and out the door at the sound of Min Yoongi’s name, and seconds later was dragging a barely conscious Yoongi in by the collar. While Kookie held open the door, Namjoon made sure Yoongi purposely whacked his head on the door frame and when Mandi winced he gave her a look that clearly said “sorry not sorry” before dropping Yoongi on the shop floor like the sorry sack of shit he thought he was.

“I’m sorry folks,” Mandi announces, “due to my crazy family, the shop will be closing early.”

The patrons all scrambled out of the shop while Jungkook handcuffed Yoongi to a chair and dumped a cup of ice water on him.

Yoongi jerked back, fully awake now and met by 3 pairs of eyes. 3 very angry pairs of eyes. He shook his head and tried to move but found himself handcuffed to the chair and he gives Mandi a look that says “Really?”

“Kook uncuff him. Seriously. And you and Joon leave.”

“No.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Okay, but we get dibs if you decide to kill him.” Jungkook, grumbles as he undoes the handcuffs.

“I’m not going to kill him. Today.”

“Fine.”

Jungkook finishes unlocking the cuffs and Yoongi immediately rubs at his wrists and watches warily as Jungkook and Namjoon leaves the shop, rolling his eyes when Jungkook gives him the international sign for “I’m watching you” while Joon drew his thumb across his neck. They were dramatic as fuck, but then again he might just be dramatically fucked.

Mandi pulls up a chair and sits across from Yoongi and stares at him for several long moments until Yoongi breaks the silence, “Just say it.”

“Why?”

“It just happened like that.”

“Bullshit.”

Yoongi sighed, “I’ve grown up since then. I no longer want to pull her hair.”

“Clearly. And you didn’t just pull her hair, you did a lot worse.”

“Shouldn’t you be on my side?”

“I am fucking Switzerland.”

Yoongi couldn’t help the anger that swelled up and choked him, “Clearly not. You knew where she was all these years and you never said anything. This is why you never let me come to the shop then? You knew I was looking for her, that I wanted-”

“Of course,” interrupted Mandi. 

“Why?”

“Because you are an idiot who doesn’t know how to communicate. Look at what happened--when you did find her, your first action was to take her home. Who fucking does that shit?”

“You’re right, I was. I was cruel and spiteful. Keyword: was.”

“Bullshit. Taking away her home wasn’t because you were being spiteful. You wanted what she had. That’s called envy. She left because she wanted to live, and the only way she could was to leave. You made it like this. I almost lost my friend. So of course I kept it a secret.” Mandi sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “Look I know. I know what y

our mom and dad did. How they treated us. We were mere points on a checklist of creating a picture perfect family. But you had no right-”

“I was stupid. You think I don’t know? That I don’t regret it? I love her. I always have.”

“Actions-”

“Speak louder than words I know. I’m trying to fix that now!”

Mandi closes her eyes, debating her next few words  "Can I trust you? That’s the-“ ”

“Yes. I swear I'll spend my life…”

“Doing what?” You interrupt, “Sorry, since you seem to be discussing me I couldn’t stay put,” you say to Mandi. “Yoongi I don’t want your money and if you are worried because we didn’t…,” you swallow before continuing with a brave face, “....I’ll be fine. but you really have to stop sending me presents. I don’t want them. Can’t you just stay…”

“Y/N I’m sorry. I was an ass.”

“Still an ass.” Mandi interrupts, “Look, you two clearly need to talk this out so I’m out. Come on Seokjin, let’s go see a movie.”

With that Seokjin and Mandi beat a hasty retreat leaving the two of you alone.

“Your jaw is swelling.” You say after noticing the blossoming bruise that marred his handsome face. Handsome? What the hell were you even thinking?

“Mandi hit me.”

“Why?”

“I told her what happened. She’s very protective of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Y/N…that night…I shouldn’t have that.”

“I let you. It wasn’t just you alone.”

“Please, just listen. I’m sorry. For everything. And I’m sorry for not saying that when we met again. It's just…”

“It's just..what?” You questioned, meeting his eyes. 

“I don’t know. When I look at you I want you. You are so good and pure and you deserve the world. I wanted you to myself but I was scared…”

“Scared of?”

“You.”

“Me?” You scoff at the idea of anyone being afraid of you.

“Yeah,” Yoongi stood and walked over to you. “You had everything even though you had nothing. Brothers who worshiped you, a mother who did everything for you…what if I ruined that? What if my mother-”

“How would you ruin that?” You ask, finding patience from who knows where.

“I was messed up…and the older I got the worse…things got worse. You saw, you can’t pretend you didn’t. I took out my suffering on you because nothing good could possibly exist and you were just hiding your real nature. But you never retaliated. You kept reaching out to me over and over again. ”

“But I did retaliate.”

“By locking me out of my house after I took yours? Not really. I mean…I deserve far worse,” chucked Yoongi. He wanted so badly to touch you, to pull you into his arms and just...feel you. 

You stare at Yoongi. This broken version of Yoongi with tears in his eyes. Could you trust him? You wanted to give him a chance.

“Let’s….go on a date.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What?”

“You like me right?”

“Well–I mean–I did when I was—I do”

“Take me on a date, final offer going in one–two..”

“Fine! I’ll take you on a damn date,” Yoongi smiles.

“No fancy shit tho. $100 limit.”

“I’ll take you on the best damn date of your life!”

“Good.”

Yoongi didn’t know why he was being snippy now, but as he left the shop he couldn’t help but do a little cheer when he got into his car. Hoseok rolled his eyes and politely ignored him.

Yoongi stood at the door of your apartment, and for the first time in his life he hesitated, hand poised to ring the doorbell, and then you swung open the door and suddenly the world stopped. You looked amazing. Your hair was curled, makeup accenting your eyes perfectly, wearing black skinny slacks, a hound’s-tooth patterned sweater over a white button down and pink heels. He took in the perfection that was you and thought, “She was made for me.”

And the fear was gone as he smiled at you and he took your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah let me grab my purse,” you say as you try to let go of his hand to grab the bag on the chair beside your front door but he wouldn’t let go. You couldn’t help the blush that blossomed over your cheeks as he stepped inside and grabbed the bag for you and waited for you to lock up so you both could leave.

He pulled you along, never letting go, until he reached his car and opened the door. It was only enough time for him to run around and get the car moving before he was locking fingers with you again.

“What’s up with you?” You smirk.

“Just…making up for lost time.”

“What?”

“I just…I should have been doing this for years now.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “So…are you always this cheesy?”

Yoongi’s eyes went wide, “I mean…I’m not…no…,” Yoongi stuttered and then stopped, “I guess I am cheesy it's just…I can tell you I’m sorry but…”

“Actions speak louder than words?”

“I see you have met my sister,” he joked softly, “And we’re here.”

“A movie? Really?”

“I always had wished to take you…”

Yoongi’s eyes stared into yours, “Yoongi…” you say timidly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not her anymore you know? I grew up…you grew up…let’s leave it behind us and start fresh yeah?”

“What do you mean?”

You stick your hand out, “Hi, my name is Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

Yoongi stared at you you’d suddenly sprouted a third eye on your nose before awkwardly taking your hand and shaking it, “Min Yoongi…the pleasure is all mine.”

You can’t help but laugh at his stunned expression, not knowing he was just in shock from receiving your smile. To him, your smile in that moment could have powered a thousand suns. 

Yoongi was quiet but still took your hand and you entered the theater with a smile on your face, happy that things were getting better, that you could almost believe you had your first love back.

2 hours later.

“Yoongi,  why are you pouting?” You ask as you take his hand.

“Look no matter how I look at it, it's just not fair.”

“What’s not?”

“Mandi. Seokjin. They have spent years with you…years that should have been with me.”

“I thought we were moving forward.”

“But.”

You sighed. “Look. You want to know the truth?”

Yoongi stopped and stared at you, “yes.”

“Okay then.” You face him, “You crushed me in every way possible. You were my world. I followed you everywhere. I trusted you, and you were always there and then you weren’t. The night we got stuck in the cave I gave you my faith—but it also is and was the moment I gave my whole heart to you, willingly, without any doubt. And the next day when we were found…you stomped on it. And you continued to stomp on it. I cried so many tears everyday because I hoped that one day my hero would come back. But he never did. He became a villain.” You couldn’t help the tears that fell down your cheeks, “And even through all that I still…” you sighed. “I can't do this Yoongi. I can't. I’m sorry,  I was wrong to try.” You turned on your heel and ran away, ignoring him yelling after you, you just ran until you couldn’t hear him anymore. 

And then you found the alcohol.

You sat at the outside bar drinking as you thought about the past two months. All the things you had done with Yoongi , and how disgusted you were with yourself for letting your old feelings come back so easily. You knew it wasn’t the right choice, but it was the one you wanted. You had decided to drown yourself in alcohol,  and you were on your third bottle when the object of your conflicting emotions, sat down across from you.

“Y/N.”

“Mmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Drinking!” Your giggle turns to a frown when you hear the heavy sigh come across from you, “Are you judging me? It’s not nice to judge you know! “

“Why are you drinking Y/N?”

“Because,” you leaned forward, whispering conspiratively, “I’ve been bad.”

“Bad? How so?”

You sigh dreamily, a wistful smile playing upon your lips, “There’s this guy…”

“There always is.”

“Shhh! This is my story!” You shout.

“Sorry.”

“Where was I?” 

“Something about a guy…”

“SHHHHHH! So rude interrupting me! Anyways…I’m supposed to hate him but…” you thump your chest hard as tears prick your eyes, “But…”

“But what?”

“I can't…I remember him before…and the him that I remember…he’s still there…and all the warning alarms are going off and I’m so scared to love him but I…I think…”

“You think?”

You lay your head on the table, mumbling, “Think it’s too late…think I love him. Think it has always been too late for me. Even after all the bullshit…you see…he’s still here” You thump your chest hard and sigh as you feel the tears slide down your cheek to land on the table, “ I love him and I don’t want to…I didn’t mean too…”

“Mean to what?” 

“To love him, but…”

“You do.”

“Yeah” you whisper softly.

“Yoongi…” you can feel the man smile, you don’t know how you know but you do, “why do I have to love you?”

“You love me?” He asks, the hope wrapped in fear in his voice twisting your heart even more than all the past crap that had happened. You wanted to let it go. You wanted to love him. You can only nod your head as your eyes slide close, and you struggle against the darkness when you hear him whisper, “I love you too Y/N…I’m just scared…I’m not good enough…I was such an ass…and I know you said to let it go…but God Y/N…I should have treated you like a princess…because the truth is…”

Those words cause you to sit up, eyes squinting hard as you try to make out his face, “Yoongi?”

“Yeah?”

You lean forward and his face comes into focus, a smile spreads on your face and you lean forward to press your lips to his, softly at first, and then he responds, a hand sliding up your arm to cup your neck as you express to him what you can’t say in words. This was so much better than petty arguments and revenge pranks.  

You pull away, breathing heavy as you rest your forehead against his, “Yoongi,” you whimper, keeping your eyes firmly on the buttons of his shirt, scared to look up, scared to see the fear in his eyes. Does he not know?  “Can I…can I be yours?“ You ask in a voice so quiet it is almost lost in the noise of the world that surrounds you. 

"Can you forgive me?” The pain in his voice was sharp. “I forgive you.” You whisper into his mouth as you make promises with your lips.

He pulls away for a moment, and you lock eyes finally. “Then believe me when I say, I was always yours, and you were always mine.” 

“I was?”

The amount of disbelief in your voice causes Yoongi to tear up as he pulls you into his arms, “Kitten?”

“Yeah,” you say as you rest your head into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

This time it was his turn to ask, “Am I yours?”

“You always were Yoongi. I was just waiting for you to remember where home was.”

Yoongi places the softest of kisses on each of your eyelids, and then he kisses away your tears and finally his mouth was on yours, and the kiss was full of yearning. “Y/N.”

“Yes?” You ask, sad he had pulled away. 

“Don’t leave me again…I love you too.”

“Okay.”

[jenomark]

Part 6: WinWin, The Catch

➔Pairing:  WinWin x Reader (Female)  ➔Other Members/ Characters: Lucas, Ten, Hendery, Xiaojun,  Kun, & YangYang ➔Genre: Smut (+ angst, + fluff, + plot) ➔Warnings: angst, mentions of sex, yelling, cursing ➔Word count: 6,455

➔Summary: You don’t know what you do. You don’t even know who you are. Some would call you a whore. Some would refer to you as a sex worker. All of your clients would say you’re damn good at your job.

MASTERLIST

FOUR MONTHS LATER

  Life is a whirlwind of many things: emotions, disappointment, new beginnings, and things too complicated to understand. It’s years of fuck-ups, of getting lost in the shit that hurts you, and finding out that sometimes the truth should stay buried. We’re meant to live life like it’s the last one we have, but a lot of us can’t even choose what to eat for dinner. Maybe that’s the joy in living, in just being. Maybe we should all be proud of being fuck-ups, instead of trying to be something we’re not.

“I don’t think life can get any sweeter than this.” WinWin said. 

 You tapped your glass against his, the frozen, pineapple liquid spilling down the sides. The taste of the drink is refreshing and so sweet it makes your teeth hurt, but you don’t care. You’re sitting on the beach in a plastic chair, the sun dipping into the ocean, and the company of a man you enjoy right next to you. Life, through its ups and downs, was finally looking up.

“I don’t want to go home.” you said. “Do you think people at work even miss me?”

WinWin laughed quietly, just a little wind through his nose. “I would miss you.”

“I bet you would.”

  Since coming to the island for the past week, you and WinWin left the hotel room many times. You went snorkeling, exploring different parts of the culture, ate gourmet dinners, and got massages by professionals who avoided your sunburnt shoulders. On the days when you couldn’t seem to make it out of the door, you both fucked on the beautiful white linen bed, sometimes with the sliding door open, and every time without any inhibition. 

“I miss you every day.” he said. He leaned over to kiss you, the taste of the drink on the edge of his lips. 

  When he brought out his phone to text his family back home, you let your eyes gape openly at his body. He was so pretty on the eyes, every muscle put to good use. You didn’t regret the order of the way things happened to fall together, just that you hadn’t met him sooner. It seemed lifetimes ago that you were hitting him up for one last bang of the century. You smiled at the memory, letting it salivate in your mind until he was done texting.

“Is everything okay?” you asked.

  WinWin took your hand, which was something he did whenever he was feeling affectionate. You liked the attention, the way he put his phone down and focused on answering your question. “My family are asking what time our flight home is tomorrow. And if I’ll stop by on the way back to my house.”

“Did you tell them yes?” you asked. “I miss your mother. She’s just the face I feel I need to see.”

“You don’t know how happy that makes me feel.”

  He leaned over and kissed you again. There was a cheeky look in his eyes, as if asking how easy it would be for you to straddle him on the beach chair and take his cock right there. Neither of you were sex fiends during your regular life back home, but vacation time meant making time for your relationship. 

  Luckily for the public, you were both interrupted by the waiter asking if you’d like a bite to eat. After declining, you both gathered up your things and practically ran back to the hotel for a night of fun and pleasure.

  It wasn’t love, exactly. You would be the first to admit that love was hardly a driving force in your life. At first, though lust was an option, you ruled it out fairly early. Your entrance into WinWin’s life was less about pleasing someone sexually and more about pleasing yourself. You stayed around him because he was different. Deep down, you hoped it wasn’t because he was a culmination of all the boys in your life- Ten and his safety, Hendery and his optimism, Xiaojun and his hunger for life, Kun and his stability, and YangYang’s wholesome friendship. He even had Lucas’ taste for laughter and fun. 

 For a while, you wanted it to be love. You wanted love at first sight to be a  real thing so badly. You saw WinWin, you knew he was the one, and you fucked him real good. You chose to let it be more. Still, months later, you chose to keep the relationship because there was always the possibility that you were both lovable. You could be normal, even get the 9-to-5 job and stop fucking people for money. It could happen for you. 

 The car ride home from the airport felt a little off. Being away from the ocean made you feel stale. You didn’t know how to face normalcy again, how to ease your way back into a city that held so many awful memories. But WinWin held onto you like he could solve everything, made you feel like you could be the adult you needed all your life. 

“We’re here.” WinWin said as the car pulled up to his mother’s house.

 She didn’t know her son paid for someone like you, or that he was the last one ever. As far as she knows, he met you out with friends, and the rest was history. She didn’t know about your past, didn’t seem interested in it either. She was the kind of woman that judged no one, that welcomed everyone through her door with a hug and a feast fit for kings. It was far removed from the family you had grown up with.

“You both look sun-kissed and beautiful.” she said, hugging you, and then tugging on the edge of WinWin’s ear. “ Welcome home. I made you a nice home cooked meal. I know it’s not as good as the 5 star food you’ve been eating for the past week.”

“Mom, I’m sure it’s delicious.” WinWin said. “And I am starving.”

“Me too.” you said. “It’s really nice for you to cook for us. I feel so thankful.”

 Being with WinWin’s family made you feel safer than you’d ever felt. They truly welcomed you into the fold. It was easy to imagine the rest of your life like this: taking vacations, coming back to meals cooked by a mother who cares, and being lovingly accepted into another family like you were one of their own. Your past could easily melt away, along with any of the bad taste that got stuck in your mouth.

  You felt yourself getting misty-eyed. Thankfully, WinWin’s mother didn’t notice. She walked away to tend to her meal, leaving both of you in her living room. Unfortunately for you, WinWin was also an attentive boyfriend. He noticed you were on the verge of tears right away. He wiped them away for you, his brown eyes looking concerned.

“Is everything okay?” he asked. 

You nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine. I think I’m just tired and overwhelmed.”

“Do you want to go home?”

“No, no.” you said quickly. “I’m happy to be here.”

  The smile WinWin gave you lit up your soul. He brought you in for a hug, his excitement growing in the childish way he had. You held him tightly, too afraid to let go.

No, it wasn’t love, but it wasn’t not love, either.

  That night, you made love.

  In the beginning of your relationship, all the men before him would pop into your mind. There was the roughness of Lucas, the tenderness of Ten, and the intensity of Hendery. Every so often, you wished WinWin was as good as Xiaojun was at oral. You incorporated the carefree attitude YangYang taught you into your sex life, taking WinWin for a wild spin. You avoided Kun, and every feeling he brought up within you. Every so often, you would dive back into the deep end and meet WinWin, and you would merge all the men together. He would never know, and you’d never ask if he had any inclination. 

  Something changed a few months in. The sex got better, and you were more present. You were with him for the whole time, pressing down on his chest and riding the high that belonged to only him. You fell hard. You two were good for each other, matched up right in all the best ways. He didn’t need help in any department. He was whole and complete, and he made you feel like a goddess. 

 “You’re thinking.” WinWin whispered, kissing your forehead.

 He pushed his cock deep inside of you, the words out of your mouth coming out breathless. “I’m not.”

  “Okay.” he said, giving up before he started.

 He fucked you so well that you both forgot about everything. It was only until you were dreaming that everything came rushing back. You dreamed of the men, of the paradise lost, of WinWin’s mother wishing you were her daughter-in-law.

  Office jobs on a Monday never once seemed glamorous, but it was all you needed to feel ordinary. You stayed at your desk and watched the screensaver on your desktop fade in and out, like a heartbeat. Cheek resting against the palm of your hand, you sighed. You waited for lunchtime like the rest of the office girls. You didn’t gossip, didn’t show anyone your new nails. Your desk wasn’t decorated, but you were settled in for a while. The company liked you so much that you moved on from being a temp really quickly, which either made people love you or hate you.

“How was vacation?” a colleague asked. 

  You had become one of those people that shows vacation photos on her phone. There was WinWin laying on the beach, his toned stomach covered in sand. There was a photo of you posing by the sign of a restaurant, your arms thrown around him and your leg popped up. You hardly recognized the girl in the photos, though you’d spent 20+ years in her body.

“I wish I were in your shoes.” she said. “Your boyfriend is dreamy.”

“Thank you.” you said. It was hard to keep the amusement out of your voice. You were used to women fawning over him because he was so handsome, but when it was a married women with five kids, it made you hope you’d never be like that. 

“It looked like such a nice little vacay.” she said. “So luxurious. How did you pay for all of that?”

“Savings.” you said.

  Though you weren’t doing sex work anymore, the money from your secret apartment felt like it was never ending. You had sold so many things that reminded you of the men you saw over the years, choosing the money and a better life for yourself. It didn’t bother WinWin that you had more money than him, though he wouldn’t let you buy him a damn thing.

“Lucky.” she said before moving back to her desk.

  Your eyelids were heavy, and the bottom of your feet sore. You dragged your feet through the doorway of your new, modest apartment, and threw your stuff down on the floor. You didn’t check your phone, just sat down on the couch and let your head fall back. You drifted off to sleep and only woke up to a knock on your front door. Picking yourself up, you walked over, swung it open, and screamed when WinWin picked you up and spun you around.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

 He kissed you passionately, letting your body slide down his before he let your feet plant on the floor. You felt breathless, and could tell that your face was hot just from seeing him again. There were days you kind of wanted to share a home with him, to see him every single day. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so taken aback by him every time you saw him in the flesh.

  You didn’t fully get a good look at him until he moved away from you and went over to the fridge for a drink. He was wearing a dark blue suit and his hair was slicked back from his forehead. He looked expensive, and the smell trailing behind him reminded you of the vacation you’d just left.

“What are you all dressed up for?” you asked.

“You and I are invited to a party.”

“A..party?” you asked. “On a Monday night? I’m exhausted. I just had my full day of work after a week of beauty and sunshine. Baby, the last thing I want to do is party.”

  Then, as if everything suddenly made sense, you remembered that your birthday was in a few days. Your mind was whirring. You didn’t want WinWin wasting money on some nice party when he’d put up more than his share for the vacation.

“Please.” he said, pouting. He took a drink from inside the fridge and set it on the counter. “I wouldn’t go without you.” 

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I’ve seen your closet. You have plenty of dresses.”

“I won’t know anyone there.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t tell you who was going.”

“I’m running out of excuses, aren’t I?” you asked.

  WinWin smiled and came over to hold you. “Yes. I’m not a party animal either, but for some reason, I really want to go to this one. It’s at that nice hotel downtown that was just built. Imagine a night full of cocktails and dancing, coming home and collapsing in my bed. Fun, right?”

  You closed your eyes. When you opened them, you said yes. After all, you didn’t want to ruin a possible surprise. WinWin picked you up and spun you again. ‘Round and ‘round in circles you went.

  The dress you wore was too tight. You felt so bloated in it that, on the car ride over, you kept fidgeting. WinWin calling you beautiful didn’t help, but the sulking definitely did. Arriving at the party made you so nervous that you forgot about the ill-fitting dress. You weren’t ready to be in front of people you loved, if it was a birthday party. You were stressed about who would attend, and who would not. 

“Holy fuck.” you said, looking up at the hotel it was being hosted at.

 In another life, it felt like you had been there before. It was much too swanky for your new taste, but there was something so familiar about the exterior that you couldn’t help but stare at it. The cream of the building and the black marble accents were stunning to look at, even more so than your date.

“We’ll stay no longer than two hours.” he said. “Does that sound good?” 

  You were unsure, but you did agree. He took your hand and led you across the street, the red satin dress you were wearing flying up with the wind. You smoothed your hair down with your free hand and walked through the revolving door with him. Inside, the building was even more gorgeous. It must have cost a pretty penny, and would have taken years to import all of the textures.

“Who invited you here?” you asked. “Someone from work?”

“My cousin.” he said. “ You’ve met him before.”

  You were whisked into a ballroom full of people. It was clear that, by the lack of people you knew, it was not a surprise birthday party for you. It made you a little sad, but you tried not to show it.

 Being among crowds was never fun for you, but feeling his hand on the small of your back relaxed you. You were thinking you could enjoy the night anyway, but WinWin walking away to fetch drinks made the fear creep up your spine again. You sat down at an empty table and scanned the hoards of people dressed in expensive designer clothes, your eyes raking it all in. You assessed that the reason you were so uncomfortable is because the environment reminded you too much of the life you had four months ago.

“Here.” WinWin said, setting your drink down.

  You took a big gulp and set it back down, watching strangely as the condensation from the glass formed a ring on the tablecloth. For a bit, WinWin sat with you and held your hand, his eyes watching people laughing and chatting along.

“I can’t find my cousin. He’s not answering his phone.” he said, not able to peel his eyes from the crowd. 

“Should we go look for him?” you asked.

  There was a weird tension in the pit of your belly. You pushed the drink away and vowed to not drink anymore. You joined WinWin in looking for his cousin, even though you didn’t know which one he was referring to. His family was big, and they all looked so different from each other, but they all had the same cute laugh and love of ordering things online. 

“Let’s dance.” WinWin said, rising to his feet.

  You looked at the hand stretched out before you. He was speaking and moving too quickly. You felt like you were being pulled in every direction. The lights of the ballroom chandeliers were too bright, the air too humid. Still, you took his hand and let him bring you to your feet.The heels were killing you, but they were the only shoe that matched the dress.

“Are you okay?” you asked. “You’re acting really weird. “

“Weird?” he asked. “How?”

“I don’t know.”

  You wiped sweat from your forehead and felt nauseous as he led you both around the floor. It was the first time you wished you were anywhere but with him. Being at home and sleeping sounded much more exciting than the truth of where you were. 

“Can I spin you?” he asked.

  Before you could tell him that he couldn't, WinWin spun you around. You held onto his shoulders and caught your breath. He spun you one more time, your body losing slight control, and then he let you go.

  All you could see were the lights in a blur before they stopped. You were too aware of the arm that had caught you. You looked down at the floor, at your feet crammed into your heels, then you closed your eyes tightly, and opened them again. You looked up and was met with a chest that didn’t belong to WinWin. Clutching the arms tightly, you used the body to bring yourself up all the way.

“Lucas.” you said, your voice shaky. 

 Dressed in a white button down and a light blue suit jacket, Lucas was there. His face was a little slimmer, but the same eyes were looking back at you. They were wide and hard, not a lick of concern in them. For a moment, you were transported back in time. It was where you were supposed to be, with the man you thought you were going to marry. You blinked and started looking for WinWin.

“You like him?” Lucas asked.

  You removed your hands from Lucas’ arms and he dropped them to his sides the same time you did. You looked into his eyes and tried to muster something to say. The last time you saw him, you couldn’t get the right words out. Your storyline was very much unfinished. 

“Does he check all the boxes?” Lucas asked. “Safe. Able to pay. Puts up with your lies and insecurities.” 

“What?”

  You looked over at the right time to see WinWin moving up to your side. You felt relief. You waited for him to berate Lucas for talking to you that way, a hero to save the day. Instead, he held out his hand to Lucas, as if asking him to dance.

“Four months.” WinWin said to him. “I want extra for having to sleep with her so many times.”

  Lucas opened his jacket and took out a wad of bills. He peeled out so many pieces of paper that you lost count of them all. “Here is half. You get the rest of the money in a while.”

  WinWin took the bills without counting them and tucked them into his own jacket. He gave you the tiniest apologetic glance before walking away. Confused, you started to walk after him but was stopped by Lucas' big arm.

“What are you doing?” you asked. “I’m following my boyfriend. Let me go.”

“Your boyfriend?” Lucas asked. “Wow, you really bought it. The con artist gets conned.” 

 Your brain was trying its hardest to make sense of what Lucas was saying. Any minute now, you would wake up from your nap on the couch and you wouldn’t be standing in the middle of a hotel ballroom with your ex-boyfriend. When that didn’t happen, you stormed off across the dance floor, your eyes searching for WinWin. You took out your phone and began texting, but a big paw of a hand snatched the phone from you.

“He won’t text back.” Lucas said.

“Give me that.” you said, swiping at him. “Why are you here? Did you follow us?”

Lucas laughed. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what? You’re a psycho.” you said. “You broke up with me, remember? You left me. Let me live my life. I’m happy.”

  Without your phone, you walked outside, through the revolving door and down the rabbit hole. You could hear Lucas’ heavy  footsteps behind you. When you were out of earshot, he placed his hand on your shoulder gently and spun you around to face him.

“Give me my phone, or I will call the police.” you said, not enough bravado in your voice.

  Lucas handed you the phone, but you yanked it from his hands anyway. There were no messages from WinWin, and nothing of note. You looked for the car you arrived in but it was gone. You swallowed the lump in your dry throat and closed your eyes again.

“Why did you hand him money, and where did he go? What was he talking about?” you asked. It was the question you’d wanted to ask all along but was too afraid to ask.  “Please, nothing snarky. Tell me the truth.”

“The truth? Like you told me the truth?” Lucas asked.

“Lucas, please.”

“I don’t owe you anything.”

  You were facing him head on, tears rolling down your face. Everything felt too chaotic, too blinding. Your thoughts were swimming in your mind, each one making no sense from the last. If what you believed to be true was true, you needed to know how it all went down.

“I set you up.” he said. “Sicheng, that’s his real name, was never interested in you. I paid him to like you, to fuck you. “

“He was my client.”

“Wrong.” Lucas said. He moved out of the way so that people could pass by. “I paid him to pursue you. It wasn’t easy, I’ll give you that. I had actually given up hope, but then you came right in at the end.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“I’m not.” Lucas chuckled darkly. “I paid him thousands of dollars. I paid for your vacation. I’m thousands in debt, but hey, who cares. I finally did it.”

“Did what?” you asked, wiping a hot tear from your cheek.

“Humiliated you the way you humiliated me.” he said. “Fucking guys for money behind my back? Why couldn’t you just cheat like normal people? Fuck, I wanted to marry you.”

  It was quiet, the traffic from the sidewalk dying down. You leaned against the side of the building and felt how truly tired your body was. The fire in Lucas’ eyes calmed down a little bit, too.

“I know.” you said quietly. “I saw the ring.”

“Shit, you really fell for everything.” he said. “I planted that ring. I thought that if you believed I was going to propose, you would catch yourself in the lie. I thought you were smarter than me, but tonight proves that theory. You’re not smart at all. You should have seen your face when you saw the house key. ”

“Why would you do this to me?” you screamed, grabbing the attention of someone waiting in traffic.

“You did this to yourself, sweetheart.”

 You turned around and put your arm against the wall, leaning your head down against it. “I don’t understand. WinWin and I are a real couple. I’ve been with his family and his friends. I love him.”

“The family thing wasn’t my idea.” he said. “I had nothing to do with that, but I find it funnier this way. How does it feel being so blind-sided that it’s ruined your life?” 

“Fuck you.”

“No.” he said. “Fuck you. Exactly, how many people have you slept with? Did you get tested before you fucked me?”

  You walked away, walking down the street to God knows where. You groaned when he kept following you, and you stopped in front of a well-lit display window. In the light, you could see how beat your reflection was. The dress was pretty,  but your insides were shining out and they were ugly.

“You thought you could fool me.” Lucas said. “I followed you to some places, you know? Saw all the freaks you were with. That one guy? Hendery? I talked to him, acted like I was a stranger. He was so fucking in love with you that I was jealous. Can you believe that? I was jealous of someone who had you about as much as I did. It’s a real shame what you did to him.”

“Shut up.”

“He thought you would be together forever.” Lucas mocked.

“You don’t know a thing about Hendery.”

“Wrong again.” he said. “I know a lot about men like Hendery. The sad, rejected men that tried to love you. I was one of them.”

  You checked your phone again, your last attempt at hope. All you wanted was to see WinWin’s name pop up, to text you that he was bringing the car around, and that he was going to take you away from the crazy man before you. 

“If you knew....” you began, feeling dejected. “...why did you let it go on for so long?” 

  Lucas seemed to really think about the answer. In the light, he looked so handsome and young. You were reminded of the man he was when you first met him. You felt a little pang in your chest where your heart used to be.

“I guess I wanted to see if you would change, if you would love me.”

“I did love you.”

There was hurt and anger in Lucas’ eyes. “Loved me enough to cheat on me?”

“It was just a job.”

“Was I just a job, too?” he asked. “ I knew about the extra apartment. I really meant nothing to you.”

“This conversation is going nowhere.” you said. “I’m sorry I did that to you. I should have been upfront about who I was and what I was doing with my body. I fucked up, and I fucked your life up. And you, in return, fucked me up for the rest of my life.”

“This isn’t my fault. This is your fault.”

“I don’t care whose fault it is, Lucas.” you said. “You and I were done. We never would have lasted.”

“So, you strung me along to make yourself feel better?” he asked.

“No I-”

“-Like you did with Sicheng.” he said. “I’m not an idiot. I know the ins and outs of everything that happened in the last few months. It’s a cycle. The people you fuck keep you feeling better about yourself long enough for you to move on to a new one. I was just the unfortunate asshole getting caught in the middle.”

“I’m not talking about this right now.”

“And there it is, the denial.” he said. “Look at how you turn away from me when I tell you the truth. All those men and not one of them could ever call you out on your bullshit? Where is the love there, huh? Where are any of them now?”

You threw your hands up into the air. “I don’t know. They’re not here, Lucas. You hate me so much, but you’re the only one here. The last man standing. Congratulations, you did it.”

  A car pulled up to the curb. You texted a friend for a ride, someone you didn’t know quite well. You didn’t have anyone else. While Lucas was talking, you were figuring out how best to run away from him. The knowledge hit you hardest where it hurts. You didn’t think anything could ever be the same again.

“I have to go.” you said. “I can’t be here anymore.”

“Yeah? Just like that?”

You held the car door open. “Yeah. Just like that, Lucas.”

“And you don’t have anything else to say?” he asked.

“I do, actually.” you said. “To those I’ve fucked and fucked over, I’m sorry.”

THREE YEARS LATER- LUCAS

  He stood very still, so still that he could hear the tiny giggling coming from the other room. Lucas smiled to himself and tried to ignore it as best he could. If there was one thing he was good at, it was acting.

“Ready or not, here I come!” he yelled, his voice booming. He loved pulling silly voices. It was something that brought him so much joy. “You better not come out until I find you-u-u-u-u-u.”

  With the heaviest of footsteps, Lucas walked across his house. It was dramatic the way he walked, and it only brought out another tinkle of laughter from the east side of the house. Lucas walked into another room and made fake footsteps like he was walking away.

 There, in the corner, the top of a tiny head peeked out from behind a toy box. As if sensing him, the head poked back down. Lucas fought the urge to laugh. He played dumb and moved around the room, loudly checking behind places no human could hide behind.

“It’s very difficult to find her.” he said. “I wonder if she is in this room.”

 Another giggle, another pull at his heart strings. Before he could move over to the toybox, a little girl ran out from behind it and into his arms. 

“Daddy! Daddy!” she yelled, giggling as her father Lucas scooped her up into his arms. “You found me!” 

  Lucas swung her around and planted kisses all over her heart-shaped face. His happiness was always with her, even when it was hidden. Lucas set his daughter down and knelt down to her level.

“Now,” he said, his face serious. He tried not to laugh as his daughter put on a serious face, too. “Now, we have to find mommy.”

 With her hand in his, they walked through the house to look for the missing puzzle piece of their family. 

THREE YEARS LATER- TEN

“What is love to you?” 

 Ten sat across from his date. There was something in the question that made him cock his head to the side. His smile lit up when the person sitting across from him broke out into a similar smile, a clear embarrassment striking them unannounced. 

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Ten said. “It’s a fair question. Do you have an answer for it?”

“I don’t.” 

“Well, I do.” Ten said.

  It was Ten’s assertiveness that got him the date in the first place. That, and the way he was so open about everything. He didn’t know if the person across from him was his soulmate, or if he even believed in that. Still, it was fun getting to know someone. In a way, it was like getting to know yourself. 

“I think love is everything.” he said. “I think it’s in everything. It’s in the company you keep, in the weather you wish was different. Love is a painful reminder that not everything can stay the same. It’s the gentle way someone wishes you a good day. It’s an old blanket that smells like memories from long ago. Love is scary, but scary things are fun, too. We all want love, and we all want to be loved. It’s hope, and it’s full. I used to think love is never being left, but now I think leaving someone often means loving them so much that you do what is best for them. Love is...yeah..I love love.” 

THREE YEARS LATER- XIAOJUN

  He lit the candles, one on each end of the table. Getting lost in the flame was an option, but Xiaojun had many steps to take. He smoothed out the table cloth, the fine linen unwrinkling before his eyes. There was peace in watching everything come together, in the controlling things. 

“Perfect.” he whispered.

  Moving around the table, he fixed two of everything, even two napkins of the prettiest shade. The dishes resting on the table were cleaned so properly that not even a stray hair found its way there. The drinking glasses were sparkling. He could see his reflection in them both, his handsome face full of content.

“Whaaa, so perfect.”

 Xiaojun took a seat in one of the chairs. He felt the wood of the armrest, a seat fit for a king, and he smiled to himself. The dinner jacket he was wearing was a little oversized, but it was pressed in a way that made him feel happy.

 A man walked into the room and served food on both sides of the table, the tastiest feast money could buy. A bottle of wine was tipped into the glasses, not a drop wasted.

“Thank you.” Xiaojun said softly.

  After the waiter disappeared, he looked at the empty chair on the other side of the table. The steam from the food rose up high, and with it, Xiaojun’s expectations. He took one savory bite of food. After, he took a bow to the seat that would remain empty for the rest of his life.

THREE YEARS LATER- KUN

“Therapy is at five p.m, don't be late.” she said.

“I don’t know why we’re going to therapy if we’re not going to work on our marriage.” Kun said. “Please help me understand.”

  His ex-wife looked at him like she saw right through him. She was unbothered, not willing to waste a single emotion on the man before her. “It’s for the children.” was all she said before she got into her car and drove away.

  Kun sat by himself on his front porch swing for a long time. His new house was smaller and bought with his own money. There was only enough room for him, and for his children whenever they wanted to see their dad on the weekends. With the end of his marriage, everything else seemed to go, too. He no longer had a job after getting caught having an another affair with one of the real teaching assistants. He figured it was a fair bit of karma for all the bad things he’d done, but it still didn’t make it an easy pill to swallow.

 Occasionally, he would call your old phone number in hopes that you’d pick up, but you never did. It was probably for the best.

THREE YEARS LATER- YANGYANG

  The massive backpack on his back made him sway a little. He found it so funny that he couldn’t read any of the signs in the foreign language. He’d met a lot of people on his travels, and each one found it charming that he was so carefree and kind. All it took was a smile from YangYang and the citizens were cured.

“Where are you going?” a traveler he had just met asked. He was an older man, way older than YangYang’s grandfather. He’d decided to travel and live a bit after his wife died. He was everything YangYang aspired to be, maybe, without all of the death.

“I don’t know.” YangYang said. “I guess, wherever the wind takes me.”

“Well, that’s a start.” the man said. “The train is here. Best go on your way, then.”

 YangYang felt sad about having to say goodbye to the man. It was always like that over the last few years. He struck up conversations with so many good people, all of their stories worth telling, and then he’d have to say goodbye. Occasionally, they would exchange social media and whatever, but it never felt the same.

“This was nice.” YangYang said. “I really enjoyed hearing stories about your wife. She sounds like someone I would have liked.”

“You would have.” the old man said, his gaze on some distant memory. “Have safe travels and remember what I said, kid. Never stop. Take care.”

  YangYang accepted the man's clap on his shoulder, even though it made him sway even more. The train stopped before him, windows slipping by. In the reflection as it slowed down, he thought he saw someone that looked an awful lot like you behind him, but when he turned around, no one was there.

THREE YEARS LATER- HENDERY

  Since it was raining, the park was empty. Since he considered himself an idiot, he didn’t bring an umbrella. 

 Hendery approached the park bench like it was a bomb that could explode any minute. He looked around before taking off his jacket and stretching it across the surface to soak up some of the water. Then, he sat down and looked out over the grass. He blinked rain off his eyelashes and looked down at his lap. He did everything he could but check his phone. Over time, he looked up at the sky and let the water droplets hit his face. When he had done all the waiting he could do, he got up from the bench. 

“Well.” he said, looking down at his soaked jacket.

 Hendery picked it up from the bench and flung it over his shoulders. He took one last longing look at the bench for beginning to walk away. He was stopped by footsteps coming up from behind him. He turned around, placed the jacket back on the bench and sat down again. Hands on his knees, he stared straight ahead.

“You’re late.” he said.

  The person sat beside him on the bench, their hands on their knees, staring straight ahead. At the same time, the person and Hendery looked at each other. 

 There wasn’t an apology you could say that would fit the crime. Hendery knew that. He looked straight ahead again, but he moved one hand from his knee and used it to hold yours. Your clasped hands sat between you on the bench, solid and true.

 You looked at him before staring straight back ahead. Though it was pouring now, and your skin was slimy and your clothes wet all the way through, you didn’t seem to mind anymore.

[the-hidden-writer]

And Into The Fire

Chapter 1: A Phone Call

Summary:  Months after the Mitchells saved the world, Linda gets a phone call asking if she's seen two defective Pal MAX bots. Powerful people are after Eric and Deborabot 5000, and it's up to the Mitchells to protect them.

Check reblogs for AO3 link!

A Phone Call

It all started with a phone call.

6 months had passed since the “robot apocalypse”, and the world had fallen back into normality. In fact, since the robot apocalypse was so brief, it was now nothing more than a memory and a conversation topic to use as small talk. Things like “Where were you when the robots took you?” or “What did you do inside the fun pods?”. All in all, life had gone back to normal.

But not for the Mitchells. No, their lives were probably changed for good.

Katie had settled well into college. Now that she finally had her Dad’s approval, she felt free to have as much fun as she wanted without the burden of letting down her family. She regularly sent them updates of her work, and it made her insanely happy when she heard that Dad had made an effort to watch them fully, even if he didn’t quite understand them. That was okay though. It’s the thought that counts.

Back at home, things weren’t the same without Katie. Every time one of them stared too long at the empty chair at the table, it felt like a little stab to the heart. The Mitchells were a team, despite their differences, and one missing member was enough to knock their whole household off-kilter.

But they’d still managed to form a similar routine to their old one, just with one less Mitchell. Just Rick, Linda, Aaron, Monchi… and Eric and Deborahbot 5000.

The addition of the two childlike defective androids to their family was the biggest change of all. Once Pal was defeated and everyone was free, the pair had simply stood and looked confused in the midst of it all. The Mitchells (still high on adrenaline) had turned to leave when Eric called out:

“Mother! Wait!”

When he had the family’s attention, he continued. “Are you… satisfied?”

“Huh?” Rick voiced all of their confusion.

“Are you satisfied?” Eric repeated in the same, dry (but strangely uncertain) tone.

When nobody replied, Deborahbot had attempted to clarify. “Are you satisfied... with our performance?”

It was at that moment that a feeling of dread began brewing in Linda’s gut. She knew little to nothing about robots, and less about computer language, but something about the way the bots were speaking resonated with her. Katie had gone through a stage a few years earlier where she needed validation to stay confident but was too anxious to directly ask for it. She wasn't even sure if robots could have anxiety, but...

The fact that this seemingly unrelated memory had sprung to mind was enough for Linda to make her decision.

“They’re coming with us.” She stated firmly, and that was that. Rick had tried to protest but his argument was weak and, after taking one look at the bots that helped save the world, he couldn’t say no to their wobbly faces.

So Eric and Deborahbot came home with them and unofficially joined the Mitchell family. Luckily for the Mitchells themselves, the bots’ shenanigans were enough to help fill in the void left by Katie. The family had found their routine, they weren’t being hounded by the press anymore, and they’d found their new normal.

And then one ordinary day, the house phone rang.

Before Linda (the only human in the house at that moment) had time to react, two identical shouts of “Unknown number!” came in from the living room.

Eric and Deborahbot announcing the caller had been endearing at first. Each time any phone rang, they would happily shout the caller’s name straight away.

However after a few months of it, as much as Linda hated to admit it, it had gotten old and more than a little annoying. But the boys couldn’t help it and it brought them pleasure, so Linda had decided to let it slide for the time being.

Then when the phone rang after a particularly exhausting day and the bots had called out the name of a work colleague, Rick snapped. He yelled at the bots in what Linda thought was a very harsh way- so harsh that she was certain that they would be crying if they could display human emotions.

Rick had felt extremely guilty later that night and apologised (due to Linda’s nagging) in the morning. The bots immediately forgave him, but Linda noticed during the following week they would fall silent whenever Rick passed them or when the phone rang. To try and make up for it, she promised them that they could shout the caller’s name whenever Rick wasn’t home. They’d hugged her when she said that, and Linda felt like she’d done something right. It was a nice feeling.

“Mother! The phone is ringing!” Deborahbot called, snapping Linda back to the present. She’d been lost in her memories for a moment, so she quickly ran to answer the house phone.

(The bots weren’t allowed to answer the phone for obvious reasons.)

“Hello?” She answered, smiling when she noticed Eric and Deborahbot peeking their heads around the door to watch her.

“Hi, uh, is this the Mitchells?”

The voice on the other end was familiar, but Linda couldn’t quite put a name to it. Was it a parent from one of her school’s kids? No, because then why would they have her house number. Then who?

“Yes, this is Linda Mitchell. Sorry, who is this?”

“Uh, hey, it’s Mark Bowman.” So that’s where she recognised the voice. It belonged to the man whose face had been plastered all over the news and had narrowly avoided jail time for causing the robot apocalypse.

“What can I do for you, Dr Bowman?” She asked, trying not to let the sneer into her voice. She also tried not to notice the way Eric and Deborahbot visibly stiffened (an accomplishment for them) at the sound of the name.

“Right, um,” the man sounded oddly hesitant, “as you probably know, I’ve been going through a lot of official checks, to prove that the robots no longer pose a threat and stuff.”

His hesitance made sense then. He was probably being held at gunpoint by the CIA.

“Mhmm.” Linda nodded while simultaneously using her free hand to shoo her boys away. She didn’t know whether they could listen in to phone calls or not, but her instincts were telling her that they would not want to listen to whatever their creator was about to say.

“Well one of those checks includes making sure that all the Pal Max bots are permanently offline, you get what I’m saying?”

Linda wishes she didn’t. “Yeah.”

“Let’s just say that one took a while. Each bot has a unique serial number and was designed to send out a notification to Pal Labs if they got completely broken. And since there are like, millions of these things it took ages to sort them out, haha.”

“Understandable.” Said Linda pleasantly, although her motherly instincts were firing off the charts.

“So, uh, long story short there are two of these Pal MAX bots still missing. The rest have all been accounted for from these distress signals, but these ones seemed to have disconnected from Pal servers before the mass shutdown. Since they’re still online I’m guessing they’re defective.”

Linda felt a sudden, impulsive urge to kill Mark Bowman. This was not a first-time occurrence.

“So this is basically a super long way of asking if you’ve seen any rogue Pal MAX bots still online anywhere? Maybe back when you were saving the world?”

She had to resist the urge to hang up right then and there. Instead, she put on her sweetest teacher voice. There was truly no better way to mask her emotions.

“Hmm, no, sorry I don’t think we did.” She paused. “Even if we did, if the robots are defective then surely they can’t be that dangerous?”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Bowman exclaimed suddenly before clearing his throat and composing himself. “But uh… these people wanna be thorough. Can’t risk another apocalypse, y’know?”

Linda was about to respond when she heard a strange beeping sound on the other end, accompanied by shuffling.

“Uh, thanks Mrs Mitchell sorry again about the apocalypse bye-”

She’d been hung up on before she had time to react to Dr Bowman’s words.

On the inside, she was glad that he hadn’t pressed further about the missing defective robots. She’d been half-expecting him to already know their whereabouts and for there to be a confrontation.

But there hadn’t, and he’d hung up, and something about the whole thing seemed off.

She began to formulate a plan in her mind. Firstly, her robo-boys’ safety was the top priority of the situation. Once Rick came home she could tell him about the phone call and they could think of protection methods more clearly.

All she knew for certain for the time being was that the bots wouldn’t be leaving the house for a while.

~-.-~

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

If the beeping wasn’t startling enough, the aggressive hand signals the agents were sending him caused him to panic.

He decided to hang up quickly. “Uh, thanks Mrs Mitchell sorry again about the apocalypse bye!” It probably sounded rude, but he really couldn’t care at this point.

“So…” he nervously began, looking up from the phone screen but not wanting to make eye contact with any of the agents. “Did you find anything?”

“The call was intercepted by two separate individuals.” One of the younger agents seated at a computer piped up.

Mark gulped.

“It seems as though we were right, Dr Bowman.” Said Agent Ward, the CIA woman who had first initiated the search for the missing Pal MAX bots. “They’re targeting the Mitchells.”

Taking a deep breath, Mark tried to calm his nerves. He’d lost almost everything in the span of a few months- a good chunk of his self-confidence included.

“Now what?" He asked. "You’re gonna warn them, right?”

“Find them yet, Travis?” Agent Ward asked another of the agents, ignoring Mark completely.

“Hey! You didn’t answer me!”

“We’ve managed to trace the interception to its sources, Ma’am.” The other agent replied, also ignoring Mark. “The coding here does look like Pal MAX, but we can’t actually access it. Since they’re online, the defences are strong. It would take a few days to get through the firewall even with Pal Labs resources, let alone commence a rewrite.”

The agents only turned their attention back to Mark when he snorted when trying to hold in a laugh.

“Of course it’d take ages,” he scoffed, “these are Pal bots. They’re designed to be pretty much impossible to be hacked by humans.”

“Well then,” Agent Ward towered over him intimidatingly, “you’d better get to work.”

Comments make my day! :)

[petri808]

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Inukag *warning this chapter might hurt*

Staring out through the windshield of his car, his darkened home was the picture-perfect mirror of the pain settling into his soul. Inuyasha had no idea how he’d even managed to make it home without driving off a cliff or plowing himself into a stone wall, because his body and mind were completely numb.

‘Read’ but not answered…

Was it a good sign that the woman at least looked at it? Inuyasha rested his head against the steering wheel and closed his eyes. He’d fucked up… again— just like the night of the accident. His eyes squeezed tighter shut as the emotional pain of everything slammed him with the force of a freight train. This was bad… bad, bad, bad… “FUCK!!” He roared into the still night air. With Kagome’s memories coming back, she’ll remember everything, and it was over. He’d had this second chance to reverse all the damage and he went and fucked it up again.

Not surprisingly, Kagome didn’t respond to his first text, so he typed out a final message for the night: ‘You’re mad at me. I get that so I’ll give you some space but I just wanna say good night Kagome. I love you -Inu’

‘Read’ but not answered…

It was all he could do for now, his only solace knowing Kagome had her mother to comfort her. Inuyasha sighed, long and deep as he pulled the keys from the ignition and dragged himself into his home. His body felt heavy with exhaustion. A weight crushing him down like a boulder. It took all he had to just drop his keys to the floor beside the entrance and shuffle into the bedroom instead of falling right then and there. He didn’t want to move anymore. He deserved the silent darkness of this tomb-like home along with its judgmental echoes of the life it once held.

The next morning after a restless sleep, Inuyasha called out of work. When would he be back, he couldn’t answer them? Part of him didn’t care anymore. Fire him, it wouldn’t matter to the walking dead. Miroku called in concern for his friend, but Inuyasha let it go to voicemail. He didn’t feel like talking to anybody right now, not when he knew it would have a ring of ‘I told you so,’ mixed in. That wasn’t necessary. Didn’t he feel bad enough?

A good morning text sent… left on Read…

An apology text….

Another apology text…

Voice messages left randomly through the day…

All left on Read and unanswered.

The anxiety filled hours ticked on with Inuyasha left curled up in a ball under his blanket. He’d done a number on his living room to physically release the anger he felt at himself, and now he was just dead to the world. All the drapes were tightly closed to the sunlight outside and he only left his bed to attend to bathroom matters. He didn’t wanna give up all hope, but with his mind in tatters and thoughts only of despair, there was nothing left to cling to.

By nightfall Inuyasha was convinced Kagome had truly given him up and he couldn’t blame her for it. This was all his fault. Him and his stupid big mouth. There was no denying it. He shouldn’t have argued with her. Just like before, instead of using his ears to listen, he responded with ego when he had no right to chastise her over not telling him something. The whole reason he was in this mess is because he never listened to her when it mattered the most— and there in lay the heart of it all. Neither of them had the opportunity to talk about what caused the original fight or process what drove Kagome to leave. Inuyasha thought he’d understood its origins and accepted responsibility for it, but clearly, he was wrong, and this new situation is most certainly what would have taken place if Kagome hadn’t crashed her car— a debilitating depression.

If Kagome didn’t want him anymore, then there wasn’t anything left for him in this world as far as Inuyasha was concerned. His yoki called out for her, wept for her loss, and with it all the energy in his soul to care slipped away. He was simply empty without her. No appetite or desire or thirst, just an ocean of dread, and waves of numbness dulling all his senses.

How much time had elapsed, how many days gone by? The clock ticked away hour by hour like a death knell with Inuyasha simply waiting for a release to come. All the messages left on his phone were from everyone other than the one person who could have brought him out of this funk. But her ringtone never came. It is what is it. Was it day four? Five? Six? Inuyasha couldn’t tell, but feeling his body starting to let go, he decided to send one last message to Miroku before shutting off the phone for good.

At the Hoshii residence, Miroku and Sango were on edge dealing with the crisis. Sango had been doing her best to help Kagome to cope with her pain, but Miroku was growing frantic over Inuyasha’s refusal to answer him. He’d driven by the man’s home and knew the car was there, and that was it. No one answered the door and with all the curtains closed he couldn’t see inside. Finally, on day five while they were visiting with Kagome, Miroku heard his phone ping with a message.

Inuyasha: thanks for being a good friend. Tell her she was the only one I’ve ever loved

“What the hell?” Miroku blurted out as he mulled the message over and over in his head.

Sango rushed over at the concern in her husband’s voice. “What is it?!”

“I think that idiot is planning to kill himself— I better… I better go.”

Hearing the commotion, Mrs. Higurashi also came out of the kitchen. “What’s going on?”

“It’s about a message Inuyasha just sent,” Sango explained as her husband was digging around in his small pouch and grabbing his car keys. “Miroku is gonna check on him.”

“What did it say?” Mrs. Higurashi questioned.

So, Miroku showed the woman his phone. “It doesn’t sound good.”

“Oh, dear!” She reached for a jacket near the front door. “I’m coming too! Sango will you stay?”

“Of course, I’ll be here with Kagome. You two go.”

It was a good thing that Miroku had held onto a spare key to Inuyasha’s home that he’d been given and simply forgotten to return. When he and Mrs. Higurashi walked through the door, chills crawled over his skin. It was evident that the house had been closed-up for several days, no windows opened, or ventilation, just a silent graveyard feeling with a fog of musty air mixed with the scent of rotting kitchen garbage and body odor. It was revolting and only heightened the pairs concern for the occupant.

“Inuyasha?!” Miroku yelled as they made their way through the dark home but received no response. The man wasn’t in the living areas or bathroom, so the logical option was the master bedroom at the far end of the hallway. ‘Please be alive,’ he prayed.

Once inside the room, they could see an unmoving body underneath the blankets and if the buildup of body odor told a story, it was sure to be his friend underneath those covers. “Inu?” Still no response.

Mrs. Higurashi turned on the bedroom light, and the brightness finally caused the blanket to shift ever so slightly. “Oh, thank heavens,” she gasped out in relief as she held a hand to her chest. He was still alive.

Miroku rushed over and yanked the blanket off. “Inuyasha!” Tears instantly gathered in the panicked man’s eyes. The state of his friend was heart breaking. Inuyasha had lost weight. His skin was gaunt and pasty white, hair matted and dirty. “Oh, fuck, we— we should call emergency!”

“No…” Inuyasha croaked out and buried his face deeper under his arm. “Let me die.”

“Fuck no, you idiot! Kagome still needs you!”

“Better… off… without me…”

‘Seriously?!’ It was rare for Miroku to get so upset, but in that moment, the anger that bubbled up to surface took over and his arm flew up ready to strike his friend. “You stupid—!!”

“Don’t!” Mrs. Higurashi yelled at Miroku. “He needs help, not anger right now.”

That seemed to snap Miroku out of his emotions, but the tears broke free. It was hard to see his friend in this position, just so frail— nothing like the tough hanyo that he’s known for years. Even after the death of his mother, Inuyasha didn’t break down this badly. Miroku grit his teeth to his own pain and pushed forward. “You idiot. Dying isn’t gonna help Kagome. So, whether you like it or not, we’re gonna help you.”

Mrs. Higurashi now moved around the bed to where she could sit beside Inuyasha. Her own eyes were clouded too, but the woman pulled on all the strength she could muster to hold it together. She placed a hand on the arm he was using to cover his face. “Inu, Miroku is right. Kagome is hurting just as much as you, and I don’t think you’d want to cause her anymore heart ache by going out this way.”

“But she hates me…” Inuyasha whimpered weakly. “Please just let me go.”

Mrs. Higurashi had to squeeze her eyes shut to hold back her tears. Her heart broke for the man. Gently, she pulled his arm down, her voice shaking as she spoke. “Inuyasha, you’re like a son to me, and I won’t let me son die. We’re gonna figure this out, but you need to live please, for her, for all of us that cares about you.”

Inuyasha’s eyes cracked open just a tad. “I’m so, sorry,” he mumbled. “So… sorry…”

She kept her voice as soothing as possible. “I know, and so does Kagome.” Mrs. Higurashi then turned to Miroku. “Do you think you can get him into the shower and clean him up? I’ll make something for him to eat. He needs something in his stomach immediately.”

“Y-Yeah, I think I can do it.”

It took both of them to help Inuyasha into the bathtub. He was so emaciated and dehydrated, that he had no strength left in his body, just dead weight. While Mrs. Higurashi left them to deal with the kitchen, Miroku stripped his friend of clothing and ran a bath to bathe him. Inuyasha offered no resistance, just a few tears flowing down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” Inuyasha kept repeating.

“Don’t apologize to me. Save it for Kagome. I can’t believe you’d think we’d be okay with you dying! You’re my best fucking friend you asshole! I want my kids to grow up with their uncle!”

“But I keep screwing up.”

“And that’s life. It ain’t the end of the world yet.”

“Feels like it.”

“Whether you believe us if not, Kagome is hurting cause she in love with your stupid ass too. You can still fix this.”

“Don’t know how.”

“And that’s why we’re here.”

“Thank you…”

Inuyasha’s eyes started to roll back, so Miroku slapped him hard in the face. “Oi! Don’t you be dying on me now! So, wake the fuck up!”

“So… tired…”

“Gonna clean you up and momma Higurashi will get your strength back, so hang on just a little longer…”

Now cleaned up and dressed in something comfortable, they prop Inuyasha up in a recliner since he was still struggling to hold up his own body weight. He simply had no reserves left to draw from and under human standards wouldn’t have lasted this long. A hospital was better equipped to deal with this kind of situation. Inuyasha should have been put on IV fluids to hydrate him faster along with special supplements pumped directly into his system because after this long, the organs would have started to shut down, and his stomach would struggle to process anything. But Mrs. Higurashi made due to honor his request, starting with a bland rice water chicken broth of starch, proteins, and vegetable nutrients to re-prime it slowly. She also sent Miroku to the store to purchase drinks with electrolytes given to infants when they are dehydrated. It was a painstaking process to feed Inuyasha spoonful by spoonful.

“I need you to help me fight Inuyasha,” the woman coaxed the weakened hanyo. “So, you can live through this and see Kagome again.”

Tears flooded Inuyasha’s eyes at the mention of Kagome’s name. “After everything, why would you still want me around her?”

“Because you love her, and she loves you, and as long as there’s love it can find a way. Son,” she placed a hand on his, “I know it feels like the end of the world, but it will get better if you want it to. Do you want it to?”

“Yes,” he sobbed.

Her hand now gripped his tightly as her expression grew determined. “Then fight for it!”

It took several bowls of soup before gradually Mrs. Higurashi started giving Inuyasha fish and small pieces of chicken meat to eat. She had to stick to easily digestible foods, but at least his coloring was improving, and he could feed himself now. The sun has already set, by the time Inuyasha could finally stand up on his own.

“You’re lucky you’re a hanyo. That’s what’s probably saved your life.” Miroku expressed to his friend.

“I know.” Inuyasha could feel his demon half working harder to regenerate his physical body. Though while his body was recovering, his heart still felt broken. They kept telling him that Kagome still loved him so there is hope, but a part of him struggled to believe it. He’d already hit such a low point, to suffer rejection now was almost too unbearable to even comprehend.

Miroku continued talking. “Inuyasha, you’re not gonna do this alone. We will be there to support both of you, but it’s time you confront this. You and Kagome need to talk… about everything— even though she may not remember, a lack of communication is exactly what triggered this whole situation.”

“I know…” Inuyasha sighed.

“All couples go through struggles,” Mrs. Higurashi added with a comforting tone in her voice. “A strong relationship doesn’t come from a having a perfect one, Inuyasha. It’s developed through adversity. How well a couple can take the challenges thrown at them and grow from it.”

“You remember what happened with me and Sango, we almost didn’t make it because of my bad behaviors…”

“Your damn womanizing,” Inuyasha cut in.

“Yeah, that,” Miroku grumpily agreed. “She had to give me a harsh ultimatum to wake me up. But I did, and now look at us. This is your harsh moment, and you can choose to wake up, or loose the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s your choice.”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Inuyasha ran a hand down his face. “Of course, I don’t wanna lose her.”

“Then are you ready to see Kagome?” Mrs. Higurashi questioned.

Inuyasha exhaled slowly. “Ready? No…” he was terrified to face the woman. “But I’ve gotta do it.”

[easily-infatuated23]

The Parent and the Professor

a/n: i love the idea of reader being a professor! let me know if you want a part two :) letters are in italics

pairing: Draco Malfoy x Professor!Reader

word count: 4k

warning: mentions of war and not feeling worthy

summary: Will a broken friendship be rekindled when Scorpius’s favorite teacher writes a letter to his father?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have always had a passion for teaching and inspiring young minds. So, it wasn’t surprising that I was ecstatic to start my fourth year teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at my alma mater, Hogwarts. When I first started working there, I was haunted by the memories of the war. Everywhere I looked I could remember a different face of a friend or teacher laying dead. Seeing the students happy faces made the memories easier to bear. Just the knowledge that they could safely live out their childhoods in such a magical and special place softened the lingering pain.

One of my favorite parts of teaching at Hogwarts was teaching the children of the people I had grown up with. For some, I knew so much about their parents from those early silly childhood days that simply seeing their faces made me laugh and reminisce. Of all the children of friends I had taught thus far, the most gifted was Scorpius Malfoy. It wasn’t such a shock that he was so clever, his father had been a very gifted student when he applied himself. I had been apprehensive when I first read Scoripus’s name on the attendance sheet. His father Draco and I had actually been very close friends for the first 6 years of schooling. We were both in Slytherin and he was one of the few people who didn’t tease or berate me for not being a typical Slytherin. Yes he would get annoyed when I stood up for Hermione when he called her a ‘mudblood’ or when I would challenge his pure-blood views but he always was kind to me.

That all changed in the beginning of our sixth year. He started pushing everyone away and yelling at me almost any time he saw me. I tried to continue to be kind to him but my attempts were swatted away like flies. Once the war began, I understood why he had become distant. He was given an impossible task with no choice as to whether or not to complete it. The worst moment came when he walked to the side of the Death Eaters and The Dark Lord. I was one of the few people that knew he did this for the sake of his parents and not for the Dark Lord. He redeemed this action when Harry Potter was revealed to be alive. He threw him his wand and ran back to the side of good. We locked eyes for a moment before he ran through the castle to safety. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since. He did make a sort of “apology and amends” tour going to almost every individual in the Wizarding World and showing he was a changed man and that he no longer held his past ideals. The one person he left out on that tour was me.

I never understood why. I figured he either thought our friendship was beyond fixing or maybe because he knew I would forgive him and understand. More likely, I guessed he couldn’t stand to face me. But none of that mattered now. It was all just a slight pain in my heart whenever I saw Scorpius. As the school year began, Scorpius Malfoy excelled in my class. He was always the first to raise his hand to ask or answer a question, always the most engaged and eager to learn. One day after class I noticed he was lingering by the door. “Can I help you Mr. Malfoy?” I asked. He nodded and approached my desk. “I was wondering if you could assign me as Athena’s tutor. I know she asked you for one and I want to volunteer”. He looked down at his shoes, trying to hide a blush I figured stemmed from a small crush on the student called Athena. “I was going to assign it to you any way but because you asked I will also add ten points to Slytherin for taking the initiative”. He looked up and smiled. “Thank you Professor!”. He ran out of the room so giddy, calling to his best friend Albus to tell him the news. “What a sweet kid” I thought. Later that night I took a break from grading tests and thought about my old friend Draco Malfoy. Perhaps I should write him. But just to tell him what a gifted student his son was. His wife had passed away four years ago and I figured it must be lonely being all alone in the large estate he occupied known as Malfoy Manor. Maybe this would re-open a line of communication between the two of us. It had been a long time since I had seen him and frankly, I missed him. He probably didn’t think of me though. Sighing, I picked up my quill and penned a formal letter to my former friend.

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

-I couldn’t bring myself to write Draco-

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I wanted to inform you that your son has done exceedingly well in my Defense Against the Dark Arts class and has quickly become my prized pupil. He has even volunteered to take on extra tutoring responsibilities. He is a sweet young man and it is a privilege to have him in my class.

Sincerely, Professor Y/L/N

I examined the letter for a long time, constantly frowning at it and wondering if I should just ball it up and forget about it. At last I found the nerve to seal the letter and before I could stop myself Harvey, my owl, was flying away from my cottage. “Too late now” I murmured. My letter went unanswered for nearly two weeks. I spent the entire first week feeling anxious and most of the second week resigned to the idea that Draco had truly decided I was unworthy of a response. After all, it had been many years. On the Friday of the second week, I stayed up late grading some last minute essay submissions when I heard a tapping at my window. I turned to find an unfamiliar owl outside. I opened the window and took the letter. After a sufficient amount of pats and snacks were given to the owl, I settled in to see if the letter was what I had been waiting for. It was the first thing I saw, the green snake seal on the back confirmed it. Draco had responded to my letter. I flipped it over to see my name scrawled on the front in handwriting I used to be more familiar with. I stared at the letter for a long time before finally opening it. I gently removed the seal and unfolded the letter, my heart pounding so hard I thought it would leave my chest.

Dear Professor Y/L/N,

I appreciate your kind words about my son. He has spoken fondly of you and of your class, he says it is his favorite. Congratulations on being the longest serving Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in twenty years. It is quite a feat. I hope you are well.

Sincerely, Draco Malfoy

My heart skipped a beat. He matched my formality but he still slipped in something to make me blush. I sighed. I hadn’t been expecting some long rambling dramatic letter explaining why he never came back to me, despite my efforts, but a small clue or hint would have been something. I thought writing the letter might give me more closure but I was horribly mistaken. Now, all I wanted to do was write him back and find some way to see him. I had done my best after the war but he pushed me away more. That night was a sleepless night for me. I felt like a sixteen year old again, debating if I should write him back or not. If I did decide to write him back, how long should I wait? Ultimately, I decided it was best to leave it there.

Two months later, Quidditch season was in full swing as Slytherin was playing Hufflepuff in a match leading up to the finals. I was never one thrilled by the idea of Quidditch, but Scorpius had begged me to come so I attended. He had followed in his father’s foot steps and was the Seeker for the Slytherin team. When I got to the parent and faculty section I was stunned to see none other than Draco Malfoy. I quickly looked away and tried to pretend I hadn’t seen him. I jogged up the bleacher stairs and sat next to the Divinations teacher. For most of the game I pretended to be watching the match but in reality, I kept glancing at Draco’s platinum blonde hair, half hoping he would turn and see me and half hoping he would leave without knowing I was there. Eventually, I was able to relax and enjoy the game. Scorpius lead the team to a win and the Slytherin student section went wild. I could have sworn I saw Athena blow him a kiss. I guess those tutoring sessions had helped him as much as they had helped her grades! I couldn’t help but look down and chuckle to myself, this little bit of childhood romance warmed my heart. When I looked back up my gaze was meant by the piercing blue eyes of Draco Malfoy. I couldn’t tell if the look on his face was that of shock or fear but before I could give a slight smile he looked away. Now this truly felt like we were sixteen again.

Everyone started to rise and leave the section talking and making merry. I rose from my seat and before I could begin to descend, Draco rose suddenly and turned to me, walking in my direction. I froze. “Hello Professor Y/L/N” he said, not meeting my gaze for long. “Mr. Malfoy” was all I could manage to croak. “I was so pleased to receive your letter about Scorpius, he doesn’t always tell me what’s going on when he’s here”. “Yes,” I smiled “he is a wonderful student. You must be very proud of him”. Draco gave a small but sincere smile. “I must admit, I didn’t expect to see you here” I said. “I was able to get a few weeks off from work so I decided to come down and watch the match. It has been nice to see the place so..” he paused. “Free” I finished for him. He smiled and met my gaze again. “Yes thats exactly what I was thinking.” There was a few moments of silence. It wasn’t as awkward or terrifying as I had anticipated. “I should go find my son” he said finally. “Yes of course it was good to see you again”. I meant this whole heartedly. “Perhaps I can see you again soon and we can talk while there is less noise” he said. A little surprised but happy I replied yes. Before turning to leave he squeezed my hand and gave me his signature smirk before turning and descending down the bleachers. Was my friendship with Draco Malfoy finally going to be rekindled? I hoped so. Before turning and walking out of sight he called back to me, “I’ll write you”. I nodded. I would never have expected this to happen and I had no idea what to expect next.

Another week went by before I heard from him. His owl found me in the middle of a lesson, I opened the window and thanked the owl. I tucked the letter into my robe pocket. As I shifted my attention back to the class I saw Scorpius’s face twist with confusion then look at Albus Potter. Shit. He clearly recognized the owl. I decided I would talk to him after class. Once the lesson was over I called Scorpius to my desk. “I saw you looked confused when your father’s owl delivered me a letter so I thought I owed you an explanation”. He said nothing but simply looked at the floor and shifted uncomfortably. “Your father and I actually used to be very close friends in the early years at Hogwarts,” I began. He looked up at me puzzled. It was clear his father had never mentioned that detail to him. “I wrote to your father telling him what an exceptional student you were and then we ran into each other at the last Quidditch match, congratulations by the way, and we discussed possibly meeting to catch up. I didn’t want you to simply see the owl and then have your brain spin in circles thinking of possible reasons for the letter”. He nodded and finally spoke. “Yeah I was really confused at first. I must admit I am a bit more confused now though. He has never spoken about you before. When I told him you were my favorite professor he seemed to not know who you were”. Ouch. “Well we were going through a hard time back then, I don’t blame him for forgetting” I managed, trying to keep my composure. “You may go” I finished. He jogged out of the room glancing back one more time before finally leaving. Maybe he thought I died. Rationalizing wasn’t helping. I climbed the small staircase in my classroom and entered my office, locking the door behind me. I opened the letter and read its contents.

Dear Professor Y/L/N,

It was pleasant running into you at the Quidditch match last week. If you are able, perhaps you would be kind enough to meet at Malfoy Manor for lunch on Saturday at 11:30. I fear we have much to discuss and would prefer to do so in private.

Sincerely, Draco Malfoy

Saturday, at the Manor. It would be a difficult place to be. Although I was a Slytherin, I had befriended Harry Potter and the rest of his trouble-making trio. I enjoyed their company. It provided a break from the constant berating from the rest of my house. However, due to this friendship I had been taken and held hostage along with Luna Lovegood in Malfoy Manor for a few weeks before the final battle. I had been hit with every curse short of killing me. Draco had been forced to witness but did nothing to help me. I understood why he couldn’t but just once it would have been nice to see him stand up for me. But, alas, I figured I wasn’t worthy of any help. Returning to the Manor was something I never thought I would do but his letter let on to a promise of answers to questions I had been harboring for so long now.

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

I accept.

Sincerely, Professor Y/L/N

Short and sweet. Now came the long wait for Saturday. Once the day arrived I was more nervous than I had previously anticipated. I pulled on a pair of black slacks and a fitted white long sleeve shirt. Over the top I chose to wear my brown striped blazer. I put on my favorite silver earrings and necklace with an ’S’ charm. When we had been young, Draco gave me a silver ring for my birthday that was shaped like a snake. I had worn it everyday since then without thought. When I went to reach for it today, I paused. Wearing it had become part of my daily routine but he didn’t know that. Would he think I wore it just for him? I shook the thought out of my head and wore it anyway. If I didn’t wear it I was worried I wouldn’t feel complete which would make me more nervous than I already was. I pulled my light brown hair into a half-up-half-down look and applied some light mascara. I was never one to wear makeup but I hadn’t slept much on Friday night so adding some definition to my face and leading the attention to my green eyes became a necessity to attract attention away from my dark circles.

At 11:29 I gathered all the courage I could and apparated to Malfoy Manor. I knocked timidly on the front door. Even the frigid fall wind couldn’t cool my skin as I blushed in anticipation of the meeting. When he opened the door I was overwhelmed by the scent of apples and cologne that had once held a permanent residence in my nose. “Professor, please come in” he said cordially. I nodded and entered into the place that had housed my nightmares for so long. But somehow it was different. The decor wasn’t as sterile as it once was. It actually looked more lived in and closer to a home than a prison. He noticed my slight surprise. “We’ve redone the place a bit so it probably looks much different compared to……last time” he mumbled. I put on my bravest smile and turned to him. “Yes it is quite lovely Mr. Malfoy”. “Please, you can call me Draco. ‘Mr. Malfoy’ is awfully formal don’t you think?”. I looked at him, a slight smirk waved across his face. “Alright, as long as you call me Y/N” I replied. He led me to the kitchen where a small round table was set and had sandwiches on the plates. “I figured since it was just the two of us there was no need to use the dinning room. Can I take your jacket?” he asked. I nodded and unbuttoned my blazer, handing it to him. As he took it from me, I saw him glance at my right hand and saw the serpent ring coiled around my middle finger. He quickly took the blazer from me and said nothing.

As we sat down to eat there was a few minutes of uncomfortable silence before I finally broke and turned to him. “I am sorry but I have a lot of questions and I won’t leave without answers”. He sighed. Nodding, he turned toward me and I began. “Why didn’t you find me after the war? I wrote to you and tried to reach out but you ignored me. When I told Scorpius we had been old friends he looked at me as if I was lying. Why? Did you completely erase me from your life? If thats the case its your decision but I would like to know why.” I paused, waiting for him to speak. “After the war, I was so ashamed that I never stood up for you and how badly I had hurt you when I shut you out, I didn’t feel worthy of your forgiveness. I ignored your letters because I thought you would be better off not ever having to be reminded of the pain that I caused you.” He couldn’t meet my eyes. I exhaled sharply and buried my face in my hands before I finally replied. “Then I guess you never knew me at all”. He looked up, a stunned expression on his face. “Of all the people in the world you should’ve known that I would be the one to forgive you the most. I understood why you did what you did and why you couldn’t help me. You as much as the rest of us were fighting for the lives of us and our families. Had it really been your choice, I don’t think you would have complied.” He stood up and walked away from the table. “I know” he finally said. “I realized all of that a few years ago but at that point I thought it was too late.” He leaned on the kitchen counter with his back to me. His head was dropped and his shoulders were shaking softly. “Its one of my biggest regrets.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Well, we’re here now. If you have anything else you want to say, nows the time.” He turned back to me. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never helped you, I’m sorry I didn’t find you after the fighting was over, I’m sorry I didn’t defend you better at school, I’m sorry for all of it.” His words sounded desperate but genuine. It was like he couldn’t find the breath to properly support his list of apologies. “Stop” I said suddenly. I walked in front of him and grabbed his shoulders, lowering my head until he was forced to meet my gaze. “I forgive you. Completely and totally. I just want my friend back.” He chuckled through a cry before pulling me into a tight hug. His hands were around my waist and mine around his neck. I moved my right hand to the back of his neck and stroked his hair, like I had when we were kids whenever he was upset. He chuckled again softly and held me tighter. “Ok as nice as this is I think you are gonna squeeze all the life out of me!” I joked. “Oh I’m sorry” he breathed as he let me go and pushed me away slightly.

After this first meeting, I saw him almost every weekend. We would meet and reminisce and catch up on our lives. At our third meeting he asked me about the ring. “I see you still wear the ring I gave you. I thought you would have gotten rid of it”. He held my right hand and looked at the ring. “Draco, truthfully, I was worn this ring every single day of my life since you gave it to me. It’s a part of me”. This seemed to please him as his cheeks flushed a light pink. By our sixth meeting me we were sharing a bottle of wine after dinner when he decided to play an old record of songs played at the Yule Ball. “Oh my goodness I can’t believe you actually have this!” I laughed as he purposefully did his worst dance moves. “This was one of my favorite nights at school, how could I not!” Before I knew it, he scooped me up and we were dancing the awful and silly choreographed dance we all had to learn. He spun me around in his living room as the music played. Our shadows were dancing on the walls from the light of the fire. “I don’t think I have laughed this hard in years!” I remarked. “Me too” he replied with a chuckle. Just then all of the sudden the laughter stopped and I realized this was the closest I had been to him since we were in school. This only lasted a few moments before Scorpius appeared at the door. We quickly broke apart and Draco took a step froward. “Yes son?”. “Uh, I just wanted to let you know I was going to Albus’s house to spend the night..” he stared at me with a look of confusion on his face. “Oh yes thats fine, have fun and be safe”. He quickly left the room and hurried out the front door before either of us could offer an explanation. “Oh gosh that was so embarrassing” I said, sitting on the couch and hiding my face in my hands. “He probably thinks that we kissed or were about to” I said, the sound muffled through my hands. Draco sat down next to me. “Weren’t we?” he asked timidly. I sat up and looked at him. “I don’t know, my mind kinda went blank” I chuckled. “Mine too” he smiled. “Can I kiss you?” he asked finally. I smiled and nodded. He smiled back and reached his hand out until he touched my face. He brushed his thumb over my cheek as it made its way to brush over my lips. With his other fingers positioned under my chin, he gently pulled my face closer to his, tilting it slightly upwards and to the right. He kissed me gently moving his hand back to my cheek. I hadn’t expected him to be so gentle but I was so happy I sunk into it easily. Scorpius would get an explanation later, right now, I just wanted to live in the moment I never realized I wanted.

[thefeaux]

I've officially been doing this Art Summary for a whole DECADE. And I have a ton of emotions about this project. Please read my ramblings under the read more.

It’s now been a whole decade since I started doing this monthly art summary meme. And it’s funny because this little snapshot does not capture the best pieces I’ve done for each entire year. For example if I had two pieces of art I loved doing in March, I could still only show one. And if I had really nothing done in May, I couldn’t just pull something from earlier or later in the year for that spot. 

Unsurprisingly enough whenever I post my yearly summary, it completely bombs by social media standards.  It would be more visually appealing, to a viewer's perspective, if I simply picked my favorite 6-12 pieces for the year and disregard the month it came from. I also think most other artists look at this meme format with disdain because it embraces the toxic narrative that artists need to create something impressive every month. But that wasn’t how I wanted to view and share this project in the long term.

Through cataloging these summaries consistently, I see the content which was important to me during that time of my life. Like, huge shout out to the Monster Hunter series for being the predominant subject featured since 2016. There are a few commissions featured over the years, and those were projects I really poured time and effort into for someone else. I think back fondly on those people who believed and supported my work during those times. I still love looking back at the times I decided to try to tackle something out of my comfort zone to mixed successes.

The unintended benefit for my retrospective isn’t actually about the quality of my art over the years. I look back at each of these years I have done and I see the times I was sad, the times I struggled, the times I felt safe, and times I had peace in my heart. I look at 2013 and I relive being a fresh college graduate who was so burned out I couldn’t do more than sketches most of the time. I remember my fear that I would never get a job creating art for a game project. I reflect that even this year, 2021, I have still not obtained a real game industry job but I’m okay with that. Seeing what I have and have not accomplished yet all laid out like this is just so bittersweet. 

This summary was never about showing that I could be productive all year round. I truly believe that artists don’t need to create top notch content to be churned out like a machine. It’s okay to take a month, or several months, to get to a better place in order to create once again. I define each month recorded in this summary as another chapter in my life, the good and the bad. 

You really gain perspective on where you are at currently, when you can directly compare it to where you were before. It’s not just about the quality of work, it’s about the summation of all your experiences over time. I don’t think I would be able to develop my thoughts like this, without having this long term project to look back upon.

This journey marches onward. Sometimes I feel like I am yelling into the void by sharing my thoughts onto the internet. But if my words, or art, can resonate with even one person in a positive way. Then to me, that is worth doing. 

Thank you to everyone who has supported me.

[moral-turpitudes]

House Calls: Part 2

A/N: This was hella long and I’m stubborn so I apologize if the spacing is a bit wonky. Nevertheless, I hope this reads well, as I’ve added some line breaks in the story to help.

Trigger Warnings: Awkward af, Angst, Fluff, Maybe Swearing? 

Word Count: 4,139 

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader 

Requested by: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ and I think some other people so enjoy! :)

Summary: After taking care of Charlie one early morning, Y/N remembers the date she made with Thomas as a deal regarding her payment for her efforts. But it didn’t take long for it to be more than they bargained for.

Part 1 | Part 2

It was Friday evening and you’d just finished up a hectic day at the children’s hospital. You’d had 2 house calls and 4 appointments at your office almost back to back.

With a sigh of relief you sat lazily in your chair at your desk, finishing up patient reports and going over the requests from the previous couple of days. You smiled slightly when your finger traced over the name typed on the rigid paper.

“House Call Request: Mr. Thomas Shelby.”

It had been 5 days since the early house call, and your job being so busy often left you with little down time, but you quickly shuffled the papers away and took in a deep breath before picking up the phone.

“Hello, this is Dr. Y/N Y/L/N, can you connect me to Mr. Thomas Shelby please?” You asked the phone operator. You heard the clicking and frazzled line as you waited, your heart racing as the seconds passed.

“Thomas Shelby.” He said tersely.

“Uh-hello...Thomas, it’s Dr. Y/L/N from a few nights ago...I was just wanting to let you know I was free.” You said, mentally slapping yourself for being so awkward. Any composure you usually had when working over the phone completely slipped your mind.

“Y/N...nice to hear from you. How about you meet me here at 7?” He asked, his voice sending your heart over the edge.

“Sounds great, I’ll see you then. Goodbye.” You said quickly as you shakily put down the phone. Your stomach was doing flips as you frantically looked at your small closet that housed extra clothes for messy house visits or appointments.

“God I hope I have something in here....” You thought to yourself as you pulled out a knee-length black dress. Your heels were in the bottom compartment and so you rummaged around until you found a pair that were dark red.

“This should do...” You whispered as you took off your white lab coat and shimmied out of your tattered blue dress. You glanced at the clock as you got ready, taking the pins out of your hair and going through your spare makeup to find a dark red lipstick and black mascara. You finished your makeup hastily, knowing it wasn’t the amount you preferred especially for meeting someone such as Thomas Shelby.

The tension inside you went away slightly as you packed up various things in your office, temporarily taking your mind off the coming plans.

With a loud dinging sound, the clock struck half past 6, signaling it was time to leave. Reluctantly, you gathered your things and put on your old black coat, taking one last look in your mirror before locking the door behind you.

The drive was a bit rocky as it was sprinkling outside, the rain drops coming down like glitter on the dark dirt roads. As you parked and got out, your heels slightly sunk into the dirt as you walked towards the steps of the shop.

When you walked in you were greeted by a woman at one of the front desks, her hair was dark and her eyes tired but alert all the same.

“Hello dear. You must be-“ She started to say, but a deep familiar voice said your name before she could.

“Y/N, welcome. This is my aunt Polly Gray, Polly this is Dr. Y/N Y/L/N.” He said, quickly putting on his coat and his flat cap, the razor blade glinting in the dim light of the shop.

“Nice to meet you Ms. Gray.” You said, smiling and holding out your hand for her to shake.

She shook back with a firm grip, her eyes seemingly boring into yours as she spoke.

“Y/N, Thomas has said so many nice things about you. Would you care for a tour?” She asked.

“I think we better get going.” Thomas said, impatiently lighting a cigarette.

“Tommy it’s the first time we’ve had a guest since sprucing up the place, let me have this one moment.” She said looking annoyed at her nephew.

“Ten minutes.” He said, glancing at you with tired eyes.

You looked around at all the desks and various piles of papers that the assistants were working on, typing what seemed to be the last of their work for the day, and you heard loud chatter in the meeting room, with men drinking and writing numbers on a board and yelling every now and then.

“This is Tommy’s office, and here’s the washrooms. No ones allowed in without knocking, but since he’s not in there we’ll sneak around.” She said smirking.

“I like what you all have done to the place, I imagine it was a bit hectic before?” You asked.

“Yes. Papers strewn everywhere, faulty lights, cracking walls, luckily we came into some money.” She said, sparing any grim details.

“I see...” you said, walking over to his desk and smiling at the picture of Charlie.

“He’s talked so much about how great you were with him. Thank you for helping him the other night.” She said walking near you.

“It was no problem, really. He’s a sweet boy.” You said, as you looked at another picture of Thomas from what must’ve been a few years ago during the war.

“I’m surprised he still has that picture, considering he threw his medals in the cut...he got sent off to France with his brothers, but I’m sure he’ll tell you about that eventually.” She said, her eyes looking a bit sad. You looked at the clock on his wall, causing you to head to the door.

“Probably not a good idea to keep him waiting eh?” You asked smiling a bit to try to lighten her mood.

“Right! Sorry, those times distract me dear. It was nice meeting you Y/N, we’ll have to introduce you to the rest of the family sometime.” She said rushing you out the door and towards the lobby.

“How was the grand tour?” He asked, eyeing Polly’s sullen face.

“It was great...so where are we going Tommy?” You asked, getting him to look at you.

“The Garrison.” He said, stomping his cigarette into the floor and nodding his cap at Polly before helping you out the door.

“So is this where you grew up?” You asked, gripping your coat tighter as the cool night air crept across your skin. The rain was coming down a bit harder now, as you all hastily walked to the bar.

“Yes, like what you see?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you and smirking as you looked only at him and not at the town he grew up in.

Your face heated up as you realized you’d been staring, quickly looking away and towards the entrance to the bar.

Once inside, you shook the droplets off your coat as the smell of smoke and various alcohols filled your lungs.

Your heart skipped a beat as he took your hand in his which was warm compared to yours and led you through the crowds and to the bar.

“What’ll it be Mr. Shelby?” The bartender asked.

“Whiskey, Irish as usual.” Tommy said.

“And for the lady?” The man asked eyeing you.

“I’ll have a gin and tonic please.” You said.

You looked around at all the people, some were drunk already, some were dancing to the barely audible music being played, and others were having quiet conversations at the small tables in the middle of the place.

“Here you go. Enjoy.” He said.

Tommy took the bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses as you took your gin, but before he could walk away you spoke.

“Wait don’t we have to pay?” You asked, looking back at the already occupied bartender.

“You’re with a Shelby...it’s on the house.” He said as he led you to a table towards the back of the bar.

He sat down and lit a cigarette before taking a swig of his whiskey, watching you as you sipped your gin.

“So...Polly mentioned you’ve been talking about me...I hope it’s not anything too terrible...” You said a small smirk playing at your lips, looking at him as he gulped down the last of his shot.

“I assure you it’s nothing bad, I’ve told them about how good you were with Charlie. You saved me from one hell of a week.” He said grinning a bit.

“How is he by the way? He looks so much like you ya know...couldn’t deny he’s yours.” You said, hoping the gin would kick in sooner rather than later so you’d be able to talk as if a an anxious hand wasn’t gripping your throat.

You could see his tired eyes light up slightly as he spoke.

“He’s doing better, his cough is going away and the fever’s gone.” He said.

“I’m happy to hear that, he’s a sweet boy.” You said.

Tommy nodded as he looked at you, making you a bit self-conscious all of a sudden. If there was one thing he truly mastered over the years it was definitely making prolonged eye contact with people.

“So, how was work today?” You asked, taking a larger sip of your gin.

“Well I was supposed to be off. I had Polly clear my schedule, but something came up. Work is never really done is it?” He asked taking a drag from his cigarette.

“Not until we’re dead.” You said.

He chuckled at that, easing your nerves a bit.

“So what did Polly show you?” He asked, pouring himself a glass of whiskey and offering you one. The night was still young so you accepted it, the brown liquid burning your throat as it went down, making your face turn up slightly.

“Not a fan of whiskey aye?” He asked, a smile forming on his face.

“Only when I’m drunk enough.” You said, the rest of your gin hitting your system a bit.

“Polly showed me around the shop as you saw, and...your office.” You said, seeing him tense up slightly.

“I loved the pictures of Charlie and you on your desk. I didn’t touch anything though, I swear it.” You said, finishing your gin.

“What’d Polly tell you?” He asked, taking another drag from his cigarette.

“She thanked me for taking care of Charlie...and she mentioned you were in France...during the war...” You said looking down at the empty glass.

When you lifted your eyes up you were met with his face turned away from you, staring out the window, lost in thought.

“I-I’m sorry Tommy. I didn’t mean to upset you.” You said, reaching for his hand. The contact broke him out of whatever thoughts he’d had, his eyes searching yours.

“It’s alright. Just a difficult time that’s all. It changes you.” He said, looking at your hand in his.

“You don’t have to talk about it unless you want to.” You said, looking at his tired eyes, knowing he probably had trouble sleeping ever since.

He took a deep breath before downing another shot, you downing yours a bit later, trying to come up with a way to make the night better.

“I was a clay-kicker. We dug tunnels and planted bombs...One night we’d heard them digging right at us, so we waited knowing death was coming for us. We were prepared to die there....I can still hear the bombs exploding...the shovels scraping...” He said breaking the silence.

“Well, you’re here. That’s all that matters now Tommy.” You said, realizing he’d been holding onto your hand the whole time.

As the couple of shots you’d drank ran through your bloodstream, you saw him let his guard down slightly as the night drug on. Ordering you another gin so you wouldn’t have to deal with the whiskey as much.

“So you like gin aye?” He asked.

“Yeah, why?” You asked grinning as you took a sip of the cold, clear liquid.

“I make gin.” He said, lighting a cigarette once again.

“Oh really? I’ll have to try it sometime.” You said, your vision going slightly fuzzy as you grew more tipsy.

“How about tonight?” He asked. You pursed your lips in thought before answering.

“Alright, I’m never one to shy away from new things. Is it here?” You asked, glancing at the bar.

“No. Stored away at the warehouse, we ship some of it out but I’ve got over a hundred and thirty bottles stashed away.” He said.

“Who are you saving all of it for?” You asked.

Tommy thought for a moment, the images of Grace slipping away for once as he stared at the woman in front of him.

“For the right person I suppose.” He said.

Your cheeks heated up at the thought, causing you to look away.

Tommy continued to stare, taking in every part of you, knowing all the women he’d loved in the past usually came with a time limit. It had only been a matter of days, but he knew in his bones he felt some way towards you, no one had felt this special to him since Grace. And as much as it excited him, it also terrified him.

“Would you like to go?” He asked.

“I’d love to.” You said, clinking your glass with his as you both finished off your drinks before heading off.

The sky was as dark as ever, the moonlight guiding your path as Tommy drove towards the warehouse. The air was chilled and you could see your breath when talking.

As he parked, he ran round to help you out, holding you steady as your heels sunk more into the dirt. The rain subsided luckily, making the trek over to the heavy wooden doors somewhat bearable.

“It’s back here.” He said, prying open a crate of clear bottles, the Shelby Co. Ltd. label catching your eye, along with the description.

“Distilled for the eradication of seemingly incurable sadness.” You said, reading it aloud.

“When my wife died...I started this partly for business...and partly for myself to take my mind off everything.” He said.

You nodded and sat on an old crate and watched him open the bottle and pour you both a glass.

“To the eradication of sadness, aye?” He asked raising his glass to yours.

“To the eradication of sadness.” You said smiling before taking a drink. It was slightly sweeter than the one at the Garrison, but it went down smoothly to your surprise.

Tommy looked down into his glass, getting lost in thought as the rain started up again. The heavy drops pounding on the roof of the warehouse as you sat there in drunken silence.

You had both nearly finished the bottle when the thunder grew louder over the wooden structure, your eyes lazily looking through one of the windows as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Do you want to do something fun?” You asked, lifting your head off his shoulder and looking up into his eyes. They drew you in no matter how many times you tried looking away.

“What do you have in mind?” He said, raising his brow with a slight grin.

“Do you like to dance?” You asked, knowing you were fully drunk at this point.

He looked at you as if he was searching for himself in your eyes, searching for some portion of him that he could still grasp onto amidst all the noise.

“I suppose.” Was all he said, not wanting to deal with absolutes. A yes would mean he’d have to be amazing at remembering the moves and dig past all the muck to find his old self, who’d smile and dance and ride horses all the time. A no would make the beautiful woman before him frown from disappointment. So he reluctantly got up and took her hand as she led the way, giggling slightly as she staggered slightly through the dirt covered floors.

“We’re dancing in the rain.” You said, grinning mischievously and leading him out the door.

“Fuck these shoes.” You said, taking them off so you wouldn’t sink your heels into the mud. You sat them by the door and Tommy watched as you took a large step onto the dark muddy ground looking up at the huge raindrops coming down. 

“Are you mad?” He asked walking to you and putting his arms around your waist.

“I’m just living in the moment Tommy. Try it.” You said, swaying a bit as you put one of your hands in his.

He smiled and shook his head, the moonlight illuminating his features as he spoke.

“We’re going to get sick you know.” He said looking down at you, admiring how the rain made your hair shine and your skin glisten as the drops fell around you.

“Well...it’s a good thing I’m a doctor then huh?” You said smirking as you locked eyes with him. Yours trailing to his lips and his doing the same to yours.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment as you kissed, all the worries either of you had vanishing for a moment as the rain danced around you.

“Have you thought about expanding your practice?” He asked, breaking the kiss.

“Yes......why?” You asked, bringing your arms up around his shoulders as his rested on your waist.

“I figured it could be good for you, you could get out of Birmingham for a while. Have a new range of patients.” He said.

“Tommy....I can’t just up and leave, I have a life there you know.” You said, looking up at him. His eyes were set on yours, almost pleading.

“I’ll think about it, alright? But if I do decide to move out here...where will I go? Who will I help?” You asked, knowing there were only a couple of doctors in Small Heath, all old and withering away with age. And the apartments around here weren’t exactly aging any better.

“I have plan for that...if you’d let me help you. I have a couple of people in the family that you could help, only when needed of course.” He said.

“Are you wanting to hire me as the Shelby family doctor then?” You asked, smirking as he looked up at the rain.

“It would be nice not having to go to the hospitals all the time. Raises too much suspicion.” He said.

“Will I get to see that sweet boy of yours? I can’t drop my children’s practice entirely you know.” You said, the nerves bundling up in your stomach as you thought about a possible future here.

“Of course. Like I said, I have a plan.” He said smiling down at you.

You raised your hand up cupping his cheek lightly, the rain just missing his face thanks to his peaked cap.

“You and your plans Tommy...At least tell me what it is, for business purposes...” You said before he pressed his lips to yours again.

“I’ll tell you, but only after a few more dates.” He said giving you a half smile that melted your heart.

“Deal.” You said, taking his hand in yours as you walked back toward the warehouse.

The sudden movements made your skin crawl as the cold wind blew through.

“You cold?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You said, drawing your damp coat tightly around you.

Unlike you, he was used to the cold, having slept in muddy tunnels and trenches for nights on end, so he swiftly took his coat off and draped it around your shoulders, the scent of cologne and cigarette smoke radiating from the fabric.

“Now how about we go home aye?” He asked.

“Home?” You asked, sobering up as the night drug on.

“I’m not letting a lady drive herself through town this late, you can stay at mine.” He said, walking to his car and helping you in.

“Alright, but listen. I’m tired and I’d just like to sleep. No funny business.” You said holding up a finger at him.

“Why not?” He asked jokingly.

“I don’t fuck on first dates.” You said bluntly, cringing internally at the one time you did.

“Alright then.” He said, looking at you as he lit a cigarette. He smirked a bit before turning the engine on, respecting your decision but also intrigued that you were more hard to get than some other women he’s encountered in the past.

The drive was a bit long, making you want to fall asleep right there in the car, but the sounds of the gate to his grand driveway opening and closing kept you up. You lazily put your heels on before walking in the large house, the clicking of them echoing throughout the long halls.

“I assume you remember where the rooms are. My room is to the left of Charlie’s, I’m going to check on him but you can make yourself at home. There’s extra clothes in the dresser.” He said going up the stairs as you looked around. Your heart raced at the thought of sleeping beside him, the portrait of his late wife seemingly judging you as you walked up the stairs and into the bedroom.

While there, you hurriedly washed your already smudged makeup off and put one of his shirts on, letting it skim across your thighs as you walked back into the room.

Pulling the covers back on the huge queen bed, you heard Tommy talking sweetly to Charlie before hearing him shut the door. You had just made yourself comfortable when he’d walked in, a small smile plastered across his face that you’d seen so many times with parents.

“Was he asleep when you walked in?” You asked breaking the silence as he quickly changed clothes, causing you to sneak a glance at him before he climbed into the bed with you. It was a foreign feeling, sharing a bed with someone other than yourself, but you took in the moment, not knowing just how many you’d spend like this.

“He was until I walked in...had to tell him stories and play with his horse toy until he fell back to sleep.” He said, pulling you closer to him.

“Awe...I’m sure he was happy to see you though.” You said yawning lightly.

“Lets get to bed, don’t want you passing out on me tomorrow.” He said smirking down at you.

“Goodnight Tommy.” You said quietly.

“Goodnight.” He said, staring at the ceiling like he did so many nights, hoping that this time he’d be able to sleep somewhat peacefully.

The next morning, the birds chirped wildly outside as you and Tommy got up. The light from the windows blinding you both as hangovers clouded both your heads.

Tommy let out a cough and you managed a sneeze, as both of you felt like it was more than just hangover as the minutes passed, both of your heads feeling stuffed and your skin feeling a bit warmer than usual.

Tommy gave you a annoyed look as he sat up in bed, regretting his life decisions in that moment.

“What? Don’t look at me like that...” You said, getting up from the bed.

“I told you we’d get sick, you just had to live in the moment...” He said, mocking your words and watching you as you made your way to the bathroom. He watched as his shirt rode up your exposed legs as you leaned over the sink, splashing your face with cool water to help with your fever a bit.

“You could’ve stopped me you know...” You said dryer your face and then sitting next to him, checking his temperature with the back of your hand.

“Will this be going in your patient records?” He asked as you handed him a cold rag to put over his neck.

You smiled weakly as you spoke, clearly more sick from your actions than he was.

“No...we’re going to keep this one off the record...alright?” You said.

“Alright.” He said, getting up and slowly walking to his study downstairs. You got dressed in your now-dry dress and walked down the stairs to see the nanny with Charlie in the other room. You waved to him as he smiled, his appearance looking better than the last time you’d seen him.

“Hello Arthur. I won’t be in today, I’m a bit under the weather...yeah...it’s a long story. Aye don’t let the power get to your head alright brother? I’ll be back tomorrow.” You heard him say, causing you to chuckle as he walked out of his office.

You looked at his tired eyes and red nose, knowing you weren’t going to your home just yet.

Sighing and running a hand along your cold arms, you turned to him and checked is temperature again just in case.

“What?” He asked as you smirked to yourself.

“I guess today will just have to be like another house call...” You said, kissing his cheek before heading towards the bedroom again, knowing you’ll both be spending more time in there than originally planned.

Thomas Shelby Tag List:

(If you’d like to be added/removed just send me an ask/message!) :)

@msbzowy, @nofckingfighting, @aranoburns, @sighonahurricane, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @gaytommyshelby, @wowjeena, @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby, @inglourious-imagines, @thebloodyshelbys, @tsolomons, @blinder-secrets, @reveparade, @shelby-fanatic, @ta-ka-shi-ma, @psychkunox, @peakyxtommy, @captivatedbycillianmurphy,@dreamwastakenx, @lovemissyhoneybee, @thomashelbyswhore

[uwurakax]

teardrops on my guitar ♡

pairing: semi x f!reader ♡

genre: angsty // unrequited love // pining ♡

summary: it was like the plot of any rom com; two kids, a boy and a girl who were best friends since childhood and inseparable. you fell in love with him, and maybe he could’ve loved you too. such a shame he grew feelings for someone else ♡

word count: 1.7k ♡

author’s note: i love the pretty setters so much why am i doing this t-t which one next? lolol jk - not proofread sry. also wtf tryna write this on the train then some nub slams into my seat from behind dude u wot ♡

♡ (inspired by teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift) ♡

“What’s this?”

“A flower duh”

“But.. why...?”

“My dad gives them to my mum. He says he loves her after”

“But why are you giving it to me?”

“Because we love each other right?”

“Yeah”

“And one day we’ll get married and stuff”

“Hahaha, yeah! And then you give me all the flowers!”

A sweet memory, one from many years prior had always managed to pop into your mind at the most random times. You wished it didn’t, an adorable and innocent reminiscence had no place here, only offering confusion and complications. Semi Eita is your best friend, you wouldn’t let your feelings ruin your friendship with him.

Sometimes you’d wonder what would happen if you did actually confess to him. Wondering if he actually did remember the childish promise the two of you made. Neither of you had known of the power and meaning of the words uttered between you at barely 6 years old. The innocence of it all turned into something different.

Something deeper.

You also wondered if he would’ve looked at her. It was way too easy to fall into the mindset of ‘if I had told him, would he have looked at me the way he does her?’. ‘If I said my feelings sooner, could he have held me the same?’.

If I had told Semi I loved him, would he kiss me like that too?

There was way too many ifs going through your head, it was a marvel you could concentrate on anything else. At least during these moments your heart had some reprieve, a minuscule break of the pain you had to endure everyday you saw him with her.

Everyday during lunch, she sat next to him. The couple sitting opposite you at the table and you absolutely loathed it. It didn’t seem fair, the two of them being all lovey dovey, the sight of a picture perfect couple. Flaunting the perfect love they shared to anyone and everyone who saw. It just sucked that you were in the front row.

Everyday at practice she was there, cheering on Semi. Her yells and squeals echoing against the court walls. They easily overshadowed your silent ones. She’d jump excitedly next to you, clapping and screaming for the team. If you squinted, you could’ve pretended that the warm smile he threw over at the both of you was for you only.

You knew better though. Knew that any affection of love held was hers, and only hers. Knew the cheeky winks and blown kisses were reserved only for her. Knew that the uncontrollable feelings you felt for your best friend would never be reciprocated.

For only small moments, you could delude yourself into believing that Semi Eita had loved you the way you loved him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Jogging towards you, you handed Semi his water bottle, a small smile tugging on your lips. He wasn’t looking at you though. Honestly he never looked at you anymore, not with her around. Even when she wasn’t his eyes scanned for her. Like nothing else even mattered as long as she was there.

You had to hold back a sigh, quietly watching as he stared at her with such loving eyes. You wanted to hate it. Absolutely despise the way he looked at her, but you couldn’t. He looked so happy. Like a scene from a romance movie, he eyed her as if she was the sun, and everything just revolved around her. The whole nine yards of feeling goosebumps and a quickening heartbeat, Semi felt it all.

You wondered if she even knew the adoration he held for her. Despite her back being turned, despite the fact that she was engaged in conversation with someone else, Semi was undeniably smitten.

“You know, I think she’s the one” Semi whispered to you. This was the harsh reality of it all. No matter how much you wished, Semi Eita just wasn’t meant for you.

“You think so?” You tried to hide your exhaustion, numbness taking over your body. You could still feel the pinpricks of heartache however, no matter how much you tried to push it down. And sooner or later, it would overwhelm you until you buried your face into your pillow and cried til you fell asleep. That was a problem for future you though.

“Yeah, I do” he smiled wistfully at her, your heart fracturing little by little. You knew that look all too well. The look of longing, admiration and pure love. Recognised it all to well, because it was the way you looked at him. In class, at lunch and during practice. Whenever he wasn’t looking, you’d lower your wall by the tiniest bit.

You weren’t unknown to the fact that she looked at him exactly the same way too.

Whenever he was concentrating on his work, his serves or chatting with his friends, she’d gaze at him with the same affection that was unknown to Semi himself. It wasn’t hard to be envious. Not just because you were in love with Semi too, but to find something so special was so incredibly rare.

“I’m really happy for you Semi, I’m glad you found her.” You looked away, not wanting Semi to see your face. Sure that if he saw your eyes, he’d see the heartbreak swimming beneath the glistening tears that had just barely started to form.

“Semi!” You heard her squeal, bouncing her way to the both of you and throwing herself in his arms. It truly was unfair how they seemed to meld together so well. Like ying and yang, the moon and tides. You couldn’t have one without the other, so complimentary in existence.

You tuned them out, not wishing to subject yourself to anymore heartache for the day.

“You should join us Y/N! We don’t hang out much and I wanna get to know Semi’s best friend more” she smiled. Her wonderfully radiant smile beamed at you. Pearly whites shining under the lights, it was like God himself blessed her, an invisible spotlight on her at all times. Guess God really did have favourites, and she was impeccable.

“Ah I’d love to but I really have to get this homework done or I never will. Plus don’t wanna intrude” you shyly said. You didn’t know how much you would’ve been able to take.

“Alright fine but next time! Gotta promise ‘kay?” She giggled and snuggled up to Semi’s side.

“Of course, it’s a promise”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾��∙⊱⋅•⋅

You were slow packing up your books and pens, the lunch bell normally alerting your body to speed your way to your lunch table to prolong the little break you did get.

When you finally did make it to your friends, you noticed Semi hadn’t arrived yet, and the only open seat was next to her. With a quiet sigh, you reluctantly sat down.

Opening your school bought bento, you picked at the egg, too exhausted from everything and just not being in the mood to eat.

“Y/N, you alright?” Her super sweet and feminine voice rang in your ear. Honestly, it was just grating to you now. You plastered on a fake smile.

“Yeah, sorry just super tired” you continued to stare at your food, probably looking like you hated the mix of meat and vegetables. Just for today, you didn’t want to pretend to be okay. Pretending that you were happy for your best friend. Pretending that you weren’t in love with him. Pretending that you didn’t hate his girl even though she did nothing to warrant any form of hatred from you.

“Guess who!” You saw Semi over your shoulder, playfully covering her eyes and hiding one arm behind is back. She giggled out his name, pulling his arm off and giving him a quick peck. You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, their public display of affection eating away at you, and making you more infuriated and annoyed.

Semi pulled a beautiful bouquet from his back and handed them to her, her eyes widening in surprise.

Flowers huh?

“Wow Semi, these are gorgeous! But you didn’t have to..” she stared starstruck, unable to look away at the assortment of flora. Pinks, reds and whites decorated the bouquet, and were wrapped in a gorgeous purple cellophane.

“I know, I wanted to. You do give flowers to the person you like right?”

And just like that, your heart completely shattered.

She gave Semi another peck, thanking him for the thoughtful gesture.

You quickly arose from your seat, throwing your napkin and chopsticks into your bento, packing it up and quietly leaving the table.

“Hey, where are you going?” Semi called out to you, both of them looking at you curiously.

“Sorry, just need to go to the bathroom real quick” and you scurried off, throwing away your barely eaten meal with a bit more force than necessary.

When you finally made it to the bathrooms, you slammed the door and leaned your back against it. You started to inhale deeply, the once cute memory that brought you happiness now only gave you pain. You pulled the toilet lid down and sat, not caring if it wasn’t as hygienic as it should’ve been.

Curling your knees into your chest, you buried your face in them and let out the anguish and hurt that had been waiting to spill over. The hot burning tears that you only had yourself to blame for, because you were the idiot who fell in love with their best friend.

You cried until your eyes felt swollen and heavy, the constant friction of repeated rubs on the sleeve of your blazer added to the redness in your eyes. You looked down at your black polished school shoes, unaware of how much time had actually passed. It didn’t matter anyway.

Steadily, you got up from the seat. Once you left this bathroom stall, you’d never cry over Semi Eita ever again. You’d be the best friend, the one who would always be happy for him; and you wouldn’t fake it this time. You’d actively and attentively listen to him about his relationship, no longer going to feel bitter. You’d smile and cheer, and be the most supportive you could be, how you should be. They deserved that.

You’d let Semi go.

Perhaps tonight, with the newly made promises to yourself, you’d finally be able to get some sleep.

[fireinmoonshot]

6.  “You and me, together. We’re unbeatable. We can go against all odds and come out on top.” With booker please?😊

A/N: I had several people asking for a Part 2 to THIS fic, and so here it is! I genuinely nearly cried writing this, so that was fun. And I love this prompt very much so thank you for sending it in! Enjoy! This ended up being nearly 2000 words long, somehow... so... yay!

Ever since you’d arrived at Merrick’s lab, you’d refused to talk to Booker. You’d even been quiet when Nicky or Joe had spoken to you. They’d had more important things to worry about, anyway. Like the fact that Andy wasn’t healing like she should have been.

That thought echoed through your mind just as much as Booker’s betrayal did. You still felt as though the air had been knocked out of you, and every time Booker, strapped to the chair beside you, tried to talk to you, it felt as if you were drowning more and more in that betrayal. Of all the people you’d ever expected to betray you, you’d never expected it to be him. Never expected it to be the person you’d fallen in love with.

And now you were going to lay here and he was going to have to watch you get tortured for hundreds, possibly even thousands of years. The thought wasn’t as nice a thought in terms of revenge as you wanted it to be.

You felt empty. Despite the fact that you were in a more dangerous place than you’d ever been before, you were less scared than ever. Funnily enough, Booker seemed more scared than you were considering the amount of times he tried to get your attention, to apologise. You’d allowed Joe to yell at him as much as he wanted. Hearing Joe ask him how on earth he could do this to you of all people, just made you feel more numb. Booker couldn’t answer. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to. What could he say now that would fix anything?

Then you’d heard it. Gunfire, somewhere in the distance. What was happening? Nile was gone, you’d seen her driving away. So what could be going on?

You looked over at Andy and it was clear she’d heard it, too. She met your eyes and you both looked back at the door, but the gunfire had stopped. Moments passed and your hope began to diminish, just as the door pushed open and Nile stumbled through it.

“Nile?” Booker spoke, confused. “Behind you!”

A guard had snuck up on her and fired a shot. She returned with a shot of her own and then slammed the door shut. She took out the woman who’d been employed to torture you with ease and went straight for Andy.

“There’s four shooters at the door and more coming,” she explained, beginning to free Andy from her chair. She pulled out a spare gun and held it towards her. You were surprised to see Andy turn away from it. “Andy.” Nile grabbed Andy’s hand and placed the gun into it. “Immortal or not, you made a promise. Whatever it takes. I’ve seen it, Andy. I know all the good you’ve done.”

You flinched as the door slammed open again, but you needn’t have. Andy and Nile took out all four of the shooters within a second of their entrance.

Andy moved to free herself, and then moved to unclip Nicky and Joe. Nile stepped towards Booker, and you were unable to stop yourself from scoffing as Booker stopped her by asking her to leave him.

“You should listen to him Nile,” you muttered as Andy reached you and unclipped your restraints. You sat up in your chair and swung your legs over.

Nile clearly disagreed. “No man left behind.”

“There’s always a first time. He’s nothing but a traitor. That’s–” Joe, from across the room, was just as mad as you were. Andy stopped him, but you met his eyes and gave him a grateful smile as you stepped off the bed for the first time in hours.

“Stop! This is not the time for it,” Andy started, “We don’t get a say in when it ends. We never have. But we can control how we live. And to be honest, Book, you and I, we’ve been doing a shit job of it. Now, get up. Let’s go.” She looked over at you. “I know you wanna leave him here, and I get it. But we need all hands on deck right now. We stop Merrick here and now or he never stops coming after us, and we can only do that if we work together. Betrayal or not, we work better as a team. And you two work better with each other than you do alone.”

With a sigh, Booker reached over and undid the restraints that Nile hadn’t gotten to. He stood up from his chair and walked over to join the rest of you.

“I’ve got your back,” Booker said softly, directly to you.

You looked up at him with narrowed eyes. You hadn’t wanted to see it before, but the regret in them was clear. And if Andy could forgive him – Andy, who had been shot and nearly killed by him – you could at least consider it. “Slightly regretfully, I’ve got yours.”

His lips quirked up into a small smile as Andy walked through the group of you with a “Let’s get this motherfucker.”

It meant something now that Booker had decided to fight alongside you instead of fighting against you. The team worked better when he was there. You all had your places. You all knew what to do and when to do it, and you hated to admit it but without Booker there, you had a feeling that things would have gone much worse. You felt safer with him by your side, somehow.

You were a team first and foremost. You all had each others backs. You all took down Merrick’s men with bullets, with punches, with kicks and with each other.

Booker had your back, and you had his. He’d take a bullet for you, and you would take one for him. That was the answer to your question back in Copley’s house. You’d asked him if he still loved you, and you’d cut him off before he could answer. But when he stepped in front of you to block you from a bullet that he knew wouldn’t hurt you, when he took the kill shot in your place, you knew.

Booker had never stopped loving you.

You were still by his side when he woke up, and it was you that helped him stand again. It was you that suddenly didn’t want to let go of his hand, despite how much he’d hurt you. Because you’d never stopped loving him either.

Andy, Nicky, Joe and Nile all sat inside the pub discussing what to do with Booker after his betrayal. You’d sat alongside them for several minutes before your eyes kept being drawn to Booker, stood outside and looking out over the water, drink in hand.

Wordlessly, you’d excused yourself from the table and gone out to join him. Things weren’t looking good inside, and part of you didn’t want to hear the answer.

Booker looked up as you leant on the railing beside him.   It had been the first time you’d been alone with him since his betrayal. He fixed you with a tight lipped smile and then took a drink. “Come to tell me the bad news?”

“No,” you shook your head. “They haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t– I don’t want to be there when they do.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I would have thought you’d be the first one to kick me out.”

“I thought so, too,” you chuckled a little. “Guess not.”

Silence fell between you. A breeze ran over the balcony, cool from the water. You both had no idea what to say to him, and too many things to say to him.

He beat you to it.

“I should have told you,” he said quietly, staring out over the water. “I should have told you about everything.”

“You shouldn’t have betrayed us in the first place.”

“I know. I knew that the second I decided to do it. I knew that the second I saw the way you looked at me in Copley’s house. I’ve– I’ve only ever seen love in your eyes. And that look?” Booker shook his head. “That was the moment I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. That look in your eyes. I– that look was what broke me.”

You knew, then, why he was refusing to look at you. He worried he’d see that same look in your eyes now.

“Why’d you do it, Book? I know what you said in Copley’s house but… why? Was I not enough for you?”

Booker immediately shook his head. “Were you– no, God, no. You were more than enough. You are. I just… haven’t you ever just wanted to live? To just exist for the time you’re meant to exist for. To have your allotted time on earth and not go any further?”

“Of course I have, Book. But–”

“I wanted – I want – to live with you. To have a normal life with you without worrying about the next thousand years. To not have to worry about you dying out of the blue on me. To have that the time we’d have left together confirmed by age or life or illness. That was why I did it. Because I didn’t want to lose you. But I did that anyway. By doing all of this, I lost you anyway. And I’ll come to terms with that eventually.” He shrugged a shoulder and then took another drink. “I will come to terms with the fact that you hate me.”

Tears had sprung to your eyes while he spoke, and you tried to frantically blink them away. He had no reason to think that you didn’t hate him. And you wanted to hate him. God… you wanted to hate him. But every time you thought about him now all you could see was how he’d thrown himself in front of you in Merrick’s lab. How he’d taken that bullet for you. How he’d died so you wouldn’t.

You sniffed, and Booker looked at you.

“You– shit, I’m sorry–” He winced upon seeing your tears. “I don’t– I don’t have a tissue. Let me go and get–”

You reached out an arm and stopped him. Confusion was clear in his eyes as he looked down at you, but you knew it wasn’t hate he saw in your eyes. He had no reason to be fearful of that.

“I don’t hate you, Booker,” you said softly. “I wish I hated you. That would make things so much easier. But somehow I still love you. I mean – how could I ever hate someone who’d die to save me? That’d– that’d be bizarre.”

“You… still love me?” His voice was quiet.

“Whatever they decide in there,” you nodded towards the window where the other four were sat. “I’m with you.  Whether they decide to send you away, whether they just forgive and forget. I’m with you. You and me, together. We’re unbeatable. We always have been. We can go against all odds and come out on top. I truly believe that.”

Booker looked as though he was on the edge of tears.

Before you lost your nerve, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a hug. He hugged you back without hesitation, holding you close to his chest. His lips pressed against the top of your head.

“I never meant to hurt you. You need to know that.”

“I know, Book. I know.”

“And I still love you. I think you know that. But I want you to hear me say that I love you. I never want you to doubt it again,” he spoke. “Like you said… this is the hand that life’s dealt me. And I don’t want to take it for granted. Not for one more second.”