#thank you for the question but i have no idea

[wh1msic4lwasab1]

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི His⋆♱⋆Affliction ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

snyopsis: The vampire Alucard finds an injured traveler at his doorsteps, and nurses her back to health. Though what happens during your recovery is woefully unexpected, but intrinsically welcomed.

tags: porn w/plot (rare for me lmao), he fell first but you fall harder type trope, yearning, pining, slow burn (i tried), passionate, penetration, cunnalingus, cum eating, fingering, hair pulling, marking, biting, bloodletting, creampie, praise, usuage of “darling”, “dear”, “da draga mea” (“yes my dear” in romanian). L bomb gets dropped bc yk what, hell yeah?, pathetic alucard bc absolutely yes

word count: 11.5k wowza

a/n: a true passion project i love you alucard THANK YOU @cosmicporos for helping me with ideas for this fic mwah and also @eridanusco for informally requesting LMAO. Also sorry i dont know how to end fics pls let me live guys pls i tried :(

(click the title for a playlist! I listened to it a billion times when writing this)

Sounds of a distance neigh grew closer and closer to the ear of the blonde dhampir- who sat desolate inside cold walls. Your loyal steed, galloped you to the tall castle doors, pacing back and forth, whining for attention until The Alucard finally came down and took your lumbering body inside, and your horse to the stable of course, he’s not a monster…as much as he beleive so.

After what seemed to feel like a coma, you open your eyes to the stinging rays of sunlight that pass your eyelids; Waking up to a room unfamiliar and a man even moreso.

Alucard sat in a wooden chair that smelled of the same cedar he tended the fire with.

As the scent and the sight hit your senses, you rustled up and back into the corner of the walls in a hurried panic.

Alucard's eyes widened a bit, surprised by your wake. He gently placed his occupying book down and slowly got up from the chair, holding his hands up as if to show you he meant no harm.

"Easy, easy now...calm down. You're safe."

“Who the hell are you-“ you question in fright at his fanged teeth.

He gave a slight frown, eyes shifting a bit as he studied you.

“This is my home, your wounds…you’ve been here just short of a day.”

He explained, keeping his distance to not further frighten you- pointing to your abdomen.

“You're- a vampire?!!”

He chuckled slightly, not amused by the fear in your eyes but understanding your reaction”

"Half vampire, actually” He went on, “But I mean you no harm, you have my word."

“You could be lying”.

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of irritation in his voice at the accusation

"You'll have to trust me on that, won't you? If I wanted to hurt you, I could've done so long ago. You were passed out and bleeding on your horse's back."

Realization hit you, his arms crossing over his chest as you stay silent in protest.

"You were quite injured, I patched you up the best I could and kept you in this room to rest. Please allow me to heal you back to health completely.”

You stay in the corner of the bed with your hands clutched onto the thick fur blanket. You give him a nod, accepting his proposal, although reluctantly.

He nods back, sensing the fear and uncertainty radiating off of you but appreciative that you aren’t too stubborn.

"It would've been wrong to leave you to bleed out in the woods." He said, slowing returning to the fire and book.

“I didn’t know vampires had morality.” You retort, slipping out of your mouth without much thought.

He but only chuckles, you can almost hear his smile as he speaks, low and soft.

“I’ve had my share of…distasteful humans. But your horse made a good case for you, you know.”

You have to almost stop a smile- becoming more comfortable by the second with his seeming civility.

Not too comfortable, though, feeling the bandages around your waist.

He looks back and sees you touching them through your shirt.

“Can I see them?” He asks, walking closer to you now with a voice of concern.

You nod.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, being careful not to touch you unnecessarily, reaching out and gently unwrapping the bandages, his movements slow and deliberate as he revealed the wounds beneath.

You wince slightly at the cool air hitting your broken skin, your stomach flexing inwards and your lungs expanding.

He pauses for a moment as you flinch, his eyes flicking up to your face.

"I'm sorry, I'll be gentle," he says softly before continuing to unwrap the bandages, revealing the cuts and gashes on your body. His expression hardened again as he took in the extent of your injuries, his fingers tracing lightly over the wounds, gentle and steady.

“How do they feel?” He asks, taking all the bandages off and reaching to the nightstand for more.

“Fine” You reply.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? I can sense your emotions, you know. And you're not very good at hiding them."

You feel your brows contort into irritation, you dont even know what for- maybe your innate distrust.

"What, you're mad that I can read you so easily?" He replied with a smile, enjoying your annoyed expression a little more than he thought.

“It's a bit annoying…” You say, raising your brows, with a sprinkle of sass.

He smirked again, his lips playful.

"Well, I'm sorry if it's annoying. But you're quite expressive. It's hard not to notice when you look like that.”

“Like what-?” You retort.

“That.” He replies quickly, making you swallow your words.

You watch as he redresses your wounds, taking his time to wrap the bandages around your waist and stomach.

You take that time to look at his face more carefully than before- being this close to a vampire wasn’t something you think you’d live long enough to be able to observe like this.

You noticed his light amber hair, his yellow eyes and long lashes that gave him an epicene charm. You couldn’t keep your curious eyes from wandering over his features, he smelled like oud and iron.

When he was done, you looked out toward the open window, the sill swaying back and forth as the wind dance.

“How long will they take to heal?” You ask as you look back down at his hands.

"It depends. The wounds were quite severe, so it may take a while for them to fully close. The medicine should accelerate the healing process, but it's not instantaneous.”

“Okay- well, if it's fine i'll return to my town then by tomorrow.”

His expression shifted to surprise at your statement.

"You want to leave already? You're not fully healed yet, it's not safe for you to go back out there. They could open, get infection, you could get-“

“I don't wish to bother you any longer- you've already helped me enough.” You state. You’ve been quite wary about vampires- raised to practically believe they were spawns of hell itself.

He raised an eyebrow, his surprise quickly replaced by a hint of irritation

"Bother me? Nonsense. You're a guest in my home, and I don't intend to just let you wander off into danger when you're just as injured as when I found you.”

“It's still an inconvenience…”

He lets out an annoyed sigh, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're insufferable, you know that?” It's not an inconvenience. You're my responsibility now, whether you like it or not.”

You let out an equally annoyed huff, but you don’t bother to object anymore, clearly stuck and indefensible.

“Fine”. You breathe out.

He gave you a firm nod, satisfied that you had agreed to stay.

"Good. You'll stay here until you're fully healed. I won't have you running off and getting yourself killed out there."

He watched you as you settled back into bed, his expression softening slightly

"I'll be back to check on you later. Try not to do anything reckless while I'm gone." He says, walking out the door.

“Wait!” You shout.

He pauses in the doorway, turning to look at you.

"Yes?"

“What’s your name?”

“Alucard”, is what you hear before the shut of the door.

You hear his descending footsteps on the floor of the castle, plopping your head back into the goosefeather pillows as you stared at the brick ceiling, trying to get comfortable again, as much as you could considering your circumstance.

Hours had passed, and sleep didn’t miss you on its way.

Alucard had come back to your room, opening it after not hearing any confirmation at his soft knocks.

He saw your sleeping state and moved quietly as to make sure sure not to disturb you, scanning over your form, taking note of your condition and whether you were in any pain or discomfort even if your unconsciousness.

He leaned over and placed a hand on your forehead, checking for a fever or sweats.

After making his observations, his eyes lingered on your hair, fingers carefully brushing against a few strands as he withdraws his hand.

He found himself captivated by the color and texture, a hint of curiosity flickering within as the sunlight filtered through the window and casted a warm glow over your skin, the smooth contours of your face and neck.

He looked at your physiognomy in almost jealously, envious of your humanness. The feeling of your warm skin coursing with blood that hadn’t yet gone through the process of death. He brushed his knuckle softly against your cheekbone but quickly removed it once he felt you slowly stir away.

You crack your eyes open and flutter your flashes as the setting sun pokes at your lids again.

“Is it evening already?”

He nods, his voice low and quiet, walking around the corners of the room to light the candles scattered around to offer some light before the moons arrival.

"Yes, it's getting late. You've been asleep for quite a while."

You let out a long drawn yawn and attempt to sit up near the headboard.

He watches, eyes tracking your every move. He can see the pain and stiffness in your movements, a pang of guilt tugging at him for not being able to do anything for you in that moment.

"Careful," he murmurs, voice taint with concern. "You're still injured, remember? You shouldn't be sitting up yet. Let your body heal."

“I can't just sleep all day.”

"Yes, you can”…He continues, trying to push through without the conversation. “You're still recovering. You need to take it easy and let your body heal itself. Sleeping is the best way to do that." He crosses his arms over his chest, a hint of frustration in his voice over your seemingly unmovable persistence.

You frown at his scolding, crossing your arms back.

"What's with the pout? You look like a petulant child."

You scoff, leaning your head back and mouth slightly agape.

“That's rude...”

He chuckles, a smirk growing at your response.

"Is it? I was merely stating the truth.

You're acting like a spoiled brat who doesn't want to listen to their caretaker."

“I'm just tired of sleeping so much...”

“Well I can’t just let you run around and frolick can I?”

You pout again, knowing he’s right but not wanting to agree out of…pettiness.

He shakes his head and sighs, “Stay here, I’ll bring you some food”.

“Yeah sure i’ll stay! No problem Doctor!” You say with fringed enthusiasm. “Can’t really go run and frolick can I…?” You mumble after.

“I heard that.” He says as he walks out, making you chuckle a bit.

As you wait, your stomach growls even more, wondering what kind of food you’ll be given. With all the wealth and luxury displayed in just the small portion of the castle you’ve been limited to witness- you had set your expectations high….unfortunately.

He comes back not more than an hour or so later- hair tied up in a low messy bun and what seems to be flour on his pants.

You see Alucard bring in a tray of a small loaf of bread and a bowl of what smelled like plain chicken stock, small floating pieces of carrot.

He sits down next to the bed, putting the tray on the edge of the bed before helping you sit up just a bit so you could eat.

You look at him and then the food- the silence and your inactive made him scoff.

“Are you hands broken all of a sudden? Do you need me to feed you?” He says bluntly, raising his brows in disbelief of your shamelessness.

You gave him a shrug and innocent expression smile- but he lets himself fall to your poorly executed manipulation.

He tears a piece of the what you can only imagine is some kind of buckwheat bun, as he dips it into the plain soup.

“Fattening me up so you can eat me?” You say as the soup soaked bread moves closer to your mouth.

He rolls his eyes and holds it closer to you to take a bite.

Before you open your mouth to accept the bread, you catch a wiff of the smell and…your head tilts away swiftly.

“Oh gods- you don’t even need to fatten me that’s gonna kill me first!” You say as you shake your head.

“What? Stop being dramatic. It’s just bread, here” He says, tilting your head back toward his face and the bread.

“Where did you get that? Did my horse produce it?!”

Alucard furrows his brows and scoffs.

“I made this…it took a while by the way.”

Your eyes widen- not knowing if you should be surprised and touched that he attempted to make you food or if you should be alarmed at how horribly it went.

“Oh…”

He sighs, “Is it really that bad..? What do you humans even eat besides bread and beer?”

You scoot back a bit, creating a good distance away from the bread.

“Is this- just chicken stock?” You ask, trying to find any kind of compliment to give him.

He looks at you deadpanned, and you have to stifle a smile.

“I should have gave that carrot to the damn horse…” He mumbled before getting up to leave with the tray.

“Wait wait!” You laugh as you protested, waving your arms back up to urge him to stay.

“I’ll try it…since you went out of your way.”

He sighs, giving you another chance and placing the tray back on your lap.

You have to gather more courage than you might have ever before- taking the same piece of bread he tore and counting your blessing before putting it into your mouth.

Truthfully- the chicken stock made it somewhat bearable, masking the stale like gummy texture of the bread…and swallowing it before it could bother you too much.

Alucard watched at the bedpost, arms crossed as he observed your expression.

You look up at him after the first bite, tilting your head back and forth and twisting your arm to try and say it wasn’t too aweful.

He lets outs a chuckle and sits back down on the chair; occupying his earlier read as he waits for you to finish your meal.

As soon as you’re finished, he glances at the empty bowl and plate, a hint of relief in his eyes

"You ate everything, good. It's important to keep your strength up while you're recovering."

You simply nod, not wishing you further frustrate him over his cooking inability.

"Get some rest now. You need it."

He takes the tray and turns to leave, but once again hesitates at the door, as if his body screams at him to stay longer than needed.

Looking back at you; his eyes roaming over your face as if committing it to memory.

“I never got your name, now that I think about it. I think I’d like to know what to address you as.”

You hesitate for a moment- but it’s the least you could offer, formality wise.

“Y/n.” You respond.

He replies in almost a whisper.

"Goodnight, Y/n." He smiles.

He won’t be going to bed anytime soon but he hopes your rest is committed.

“Goodnight, Alucard.”

Again is the shut of the door, and you know you won’t see him again til the next morning.

After he leaves the room, he stand in the hallway for a moment, lost in thought- he feels a heaviness in his chest at the sound of his name on your lips. It’s been a long time since anyone has said his name at all- nor with as much tenderness and void of disdain as the way in which you spoke it.

The next day comes, much like the last in its configuration, just as the next few would likely follow.

Alucard comes in and moves quietly around, tending to the small fire in the hearth and tidying up a bit around your room; keeping his movements soft and silent, not wanting to disturb the peaceful atmosphere while you sleep.

He notices the moment you start to stir, his eyes flickering towards your sleeping figure on the bed. He watches you wake, and a hint of a smile plays at the corners of his lips as he watches you blink sleepily.

“Goodmorning”, you hear from the vampire, chuckling as he sees you stretch. “Sleep well?”.

You reply with a nod, yawning greatly before giving him a “Mhm”.

He feels a sense of relief wash over him, glad that you were able to get some restful sleep. Moving closer to the bed, his eyes scan over you for any signs of discomfort.

"That's good to hear. How are you feeling? Any pain?"

You shake my head, truthfully feeling much lighter than the previous day. You sit up so you can present your wounds to him.

He nods in approval, satisfied assurance while he steps closer to the bed until he sits on the edge, gently reaching out to examine your wounds, his fingers lightly brushing over the bandages that cover your injuries and unwrapping you.

"They're healing well. You're lucky you didn't sustain any serious damage."

He relays, his palms trailing down your sides as he tries to feel for any swelling, and you seem to find your throat a bit dry.

He can hear you gulp, and he reluctantly pulls his hands away and starts to wrap you with new bandages, rolling your shirt back down.

“Thank you”, you reply, trying to fill the empty space between you two, even if it’s just verbal.

He pauses for a moment, surprised by your words. He hadn't expected you to thank him, and the sincerity in your voice catches him off guard.

He clears his throat again, trying to maintain his demeanor.

"You don't need to thank me. I'm just doing what I can to ensure your recovery."

You smile and nod, impressed by his humbleness.

“Do you think, I can go outside now?

Maybe for a walk.” You ask.

He hesitates, considering your request. Youve been confined to the room for almost a week now, and the thought of you getting some sun wasn’t the worst.

"Hm...I suppose it would be good for you to get some fresh air. But only for a little while. You're still recovering, so you shouldn't push yourself too much."

You smile even wider, glad that he wasn’t cruel or unreasonable.

“Thank you, will you join me?” You offer.

He feels his brows contort with confusion, but he can't help the small smile that follows.

"Me? You want me to go with you?"

“Well i've never been to this part of the country- i’m not so used to it.

He chuckles softly, finding your naiveté endearing

"I see. Very well, I'll accompany you on your walk." He replies, coming back to the edge of the bed and helping you up, putting out his forearm for you to hold yourself up with- making sure you don't stumble or fall.

"Take it slow. You might be a bit unsteady at first."

You hold on tight, feeling your limbs finally stretch out after hours of laying down with not much breaks.

He watches you carefully, his eyes following your every move. He notices the warmth of your hands on his arm, gripping and clinging to him so tight, and the closeness of your body sends a current through his body- and he finds himself putting a bit more effort into trying to push down the strange feelings that are bubbling up inside him, because of you.

"Easy there. Don't push yourself too hard."

Once he makes note of your posture, he slowly releases your arm, though keeping a hand hovering nearby, just in case you need support.

“Do you happen to have any clothes?” You ask, wanting to get into something more fresh compared to your tattered and messy clothing.

"Yes, I think I do. Stay here.” He says, quickly moving out of the room to retrieve them and arriving again only minutes later with a neatly folded stack of garments in his arms.

He hands them to you, his eyes flickering over your figure as he does so.

"These should fit you. Let me know if they don't."

You take the small pile with both hands and go to the washroom of your familiar room to change.

Alucard waited patiently outside the door, his mind racing as he imaged you changing inside- hearing the rustling of fabric and wanting to ask if you needed help but he didn’t want to overstep- didn’t want to make you suspect anything more of it all.

Desperately he tried to push the thoughts down into the back of his head, but they keep creeping up, making his heart race and his palms sweat a bit.

When you emerged back out in the clothes he gave you, his eyes almost widened, a faint melancholy in his gaze.

“What…you look like you want to say something.” You ask.

He looks back into your eyes as he’s snapped out of his thoughts.

“Sorry- sorry…no you look fine. It’s just that” He rambled on, “The clothes belonged to my mother, they suite you.”

Your brows rise at the information and your stomach drops a bit- feeling sorrow for him in his dark undertones. But you stay silent.

“Alright”, he continues, draping a red scarf around your neck.

“Keep this on, it’s cold in the mornings.” He says as he pulls your hair up from the scarf and lays it behind your shoulders, fingers brushing your ears slightly as he stands much closer now.

You only nod, allowing him to open the door and lead you out of the room for the first time.

When you step out of your enclosure of a room, you feel the smooth velvet carpet rolling out into the deep hallways of the ancient castle, soothing the soles of your bare feet as you walk alongside Alucard, looking around at the ceilings and the fixtures that adorn the home.

He watches as you take in the grandeur of the castle, a hint of pride in his eyes. He’s lived here for so long, but he sometimes forgets how impressive it must look to outsiders

"It's a bit much, I know. But it's been in my family for generations."

“No, it’s beautiful. Really.” You assure, taking everything in as you finally get to explore the place you’ve been locked up in.

He smiles again at your words, feeling a small swell of warmth in his chest. Expecting you like most people to be intimidated or scared by the castle's size and antiquity, but he can tell you seem genuinely impressed by it.

"Thank you. My father, Dracula, had it built many years ago. He desired opulence." He says with cadence.

As he explains more of the building’s interior, you both finally reach a exit. You can hear the chirping of birds and the wind on the other side as if a portal to an unexplored grove were near.

Alucard pushes the heavy doors open, revealing the sprawling gardens outside. The morning sun is casting a warm golden glow over the landscape.

The gardens- a riot of color, with blooming flowers and lush greenery filling every inch of space.

He watched as you step out into the grass. He can't help but find the sight of you barefoot in the garden endearing, your toes sinking into the soft earth as you breathe in the sweet spring air.

You open your eyes and look up, appreciating the sky from below opposed to the window from a distance as to which you were forced to do for the past few days.

Alucard, though, doesn’t follow your gaze. He instead can't help but admire the way the sun catches in your hair, and on your skin, making you look like you're glowing. A second, much more beautiful sun.

He finds himself staring for a moment, mesmerized by your beauty.

He also notices the way you hold the shawl closer to your body, and he wonders if you're cold or if there's something else you're trying to hide. He tries to resist the urge to reach out and brush a stray strand of hair out of your face again, wanting to feel just an atom of your being, as if to merge them with his.

He step closer, concern etched on his face

"Are you cold?"

You look back at him, your brows contorted and a soft look of vulnerability on your face.

“A little”, you admit.

He sees the goosebumps emerged on your soft and sunkissed skin, and he frowns slightly.

He takes the coat off his back, and drapes it over your shoulders

"Here, this should help." He says as he pulls you closer to him, your shoulders rubbing up as he keeps the draped jacket close around you, a bit too big but enough to warm you.

You give him an appreciative smile, and he returns one right back.

He watches you return your eyes back on the scenery, his gaze softening as he sees the way you admire the beauty of the world around you.

He’s seen this view countless times before, smelled the same air and felt the same breeze pass him by. But somehow, it seems more vibrant with you here with him now.

“Would you like to go back inside now?” You ask.

He shakes his head, not wanting the moment to end just yet.

"Not yet. Let's stay out here a little longer. Is that okay?” He asks softly.

You nod, happy that he’s willing to indulge you in just a bit more time outside.

You can’t help but feel his eyes glancing to you every now and then- and you try to ignore the urge to get closer to him.

Not for warmth, or because of the cold, or anything other than the flickering need to be closer to him.

Something entirely separate, something entirely unfamiliar.

After another few minutes, you two decide to come back inside to prevent any possibility of you catching a cold.

Alucard shows you a few more hallways and rooms along the way, pointing them onto and providing a little history lesson every now and then, not wanting to bombard you with his entire lifetimes worth of stories. When you arrive back at your room, he watches you settle back into the bed. A strange mix of emotions swirling within him. he wants to stay with you, but he knows he should give you some space.

He lingers in the doorway for a moment before speaking up again.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I'll be around."

You smile and nod, “Thank you”. You whisper.

“Of course. I'll be in the library if you need me." He hesitates for a moment, as if he wants to say something more, but then he turns and walks away, leaving you alone in the room, leaving the door open this time- as if inviting you to join him.

Maybe you’re just thinking too much into it.

As he sits down on the wooden library chairs, trying to concentrate on the book in his hand and the ink that sticks to his quill, his thoughts keep drifting back to you, wondering what you're doing in your room and if you're comfortable.

He can't shake the feeling that he's being drawn to you like a moth to a flame- in an inseparable trap he set himself. His affliction.

Lost in his own mind, he snaps out of it as he hears a knock at the library door. He looks up, setting his book down to calls out.

"Come in."

You hear his command, opening the tall doors and peaking your head in to find him.

He looks up as you enter the space, his eyes widening slightly as you approach closer and walk down the sparse steps- secretly trying to hide the fact that he was thinking about you just seconds ago.

"Ah, I wasn't expecting you so soon.

Is everything alright?" He asks, feeling his heart suddenly accelerate.

“Yeah, sorry” You reply, handing him back his jacket, “you just forgot this”.

As he takes the jacket from you, his finger brushing against yours for a brief moment that he curses himself for not keeping it a second longer.

He looks at it for a moment before looking back at you.

"Ah, thank you. I didn't realize I had left it behind." He says in a more hoarse tone than usual.

You chuckle and nod, “I also didn't realize.” You say in a lighthearted tone.

He chuckles softly in return, his eyes locked on yours- Acutely aware of the way your scent fills the air around him, intoxicating him with its sweetness.

"I suppose I was too distracted this morning to notice."

He finds it harder and harder to resist the urge to reach out to you, to pull you closer to him with each growing second.

You break the short lapse of silence, your eyes trailing down to the desk full of books and sheets of freshly inked script.

“Reading?”

He also glances at the books on the table, trying to compose himself.

"Ah, yes. I was just doing some light reading. and annotation. Trying to take my mind off things." He says before looking back at you, his gaze lingering on your face. H can feel the tension between you growing, the air heavy with unspoken words and emotions

“What, uhm- kind of things?” You ask, immediately feeling as if you overstepped.

He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should be honest with you. but he can't bring himself to lie.

"You." He speaks.

You nod, understanding as you touch your wound on your side- Assuming he’s referring to your injuries, knowing how much he cares to treat you. Pushing away the initial thoughts of affection, not wanting to get your hopes up.

He nods, a small sigh escaping his lips. He conflicts with himself- wanting to tell you every preoccupied thought he’s had of you since the moment he found you on the back of his horse.

"Yes, that. And other things." He slips in quietly.

“You should rest, you’re not well enough to be up for so long.” He says a bit more sternly.

You furrow your brows a bit in unease, wishing he elaborated.

“Right.” You respond plainly.

He sees the disappointment in your eyes and immediately regrets his words. He didn't mean to push you away, but he's afraid of letting his guard down, of getting too close to you.

He runs a hand through his hair, feeling frustrated with himself

"I just... I don't want you to overexert yourself."

“It’s fine-“ You reply quickly, not wanting to invest more emotional energy into the exchange, exiting the library and walking back to your room, each step heavy and unrelenting as if your body rejects being away from him.

He watches your back as you leave, his heart sinking at the sound of your steps descending in volume. He wants to call out to you, to tell you to stay, but the words stick in his throat like a lozenge.

He sits there for a moment, frozen in place, before cursing himself under his breath. He knows he's messed up, but he's not sure how to fix it just yet.

Alucard remains in the library, pacing back and forth restlessly, still. He can't focus on anything, his mind consumed by thoughts of you.

He curses himself for being so awkward and aloof, for not being able to express his feelings properly even if they aren’t all fleshed out and appropriate.

He wants to follow you, to make things right, but he's afraid of what might happen if he does. So he stays in the library, brooding and frustrated, feeling more alone than ever.

You on the other hand, stay cooped up in your room. Equally frustrated- pacing around the bed unaware of how similar you both seem to cope.

You stay until the sun sets, wondering if he’ll show anytime soon to check up on you like he has been- angrily ruffled into the bedsheets as you almost wish you never went to the library, wishing you just left it at the peaceful garden walk from this morning.

“Fuck it?” You think to yourself, just go. “Just get up…walk over to him and figure it out? Right?” What even is there to figure, maybe, you were just overthinking.

You put your hand on the doorknob, resting before you swing it open.

As you prepare to take the first step out your eyes widen at the sight of him right infront of you with his hand raised.

He freezes in his tracks, surprised to see you standing in the doorway. He hadn't expected you to open the door just as he was about to knock, and his face looking more pale than before, somehow.

He looks at you, heart racing as he takes in the sight- feeling a mix of relief and nervousness, unsure of what to say or do next.

“…Hi.” You break the silence.

He swallows hard, his palms feeling clammy. He forces himself to speak, his voice sounding hoarse and awkward

"Hey. I was just coming to check on you." He drew on.

“I was also going to find you.” You confess.

He raises an eyebrow, surprised by your words. He hadn't expected you to be looking for him as well, his hopes rocking up.”

"Were you?"

“Yeah well- it's evening so I figured you'd want to check up on me again.” You sidetrack, dancing around the idea of anything else.

He nods, feeling a pang of guilt.

He had been avoiding you all day, and yet here you were, still thinking about him and his routine. Sure, he was too, but he hated the idea of burdening you with such heavy feelings in his care.

"Right, of course. I should've been more on top of it."

You nod, letting him into the room as you go to sit down on the bed as he follows you, his heart pounding in his chest. Why?

He can feel a tension between you two, one that’s been bubbling and thickening like a witches brew.

He tries to focus on the task at hand, but his mind keeps drifting to other things as he approaches you, his hand trying not to linger too long- prudent in his action.

He keeps his gaze clinical as he examines the wounds, rolling your shirt up and unwrapping the bandaged, but it's hard not to notice the softness of your skin beneath his fingers.

He gently touches the edges of the scars, his touch cautious as he checks for any signs of infection or irritation.

He’s aware of how close he is to you, how intimate the situation is, how for the past few days that he’s tried to ignore- scared of pushing himself onto you in any way.

He can feel the heat radiating off your body, and it's making it difficult for him to concentrate as he can see you watching him.

He glances up at you, his eyes locking with yours for a brief moment.

“You look worried....”

He looks up at you again, his expression serious.

"It's just... the scars are still a bit red. I'm worried about infection."

You nod, your expression also turning more stone.

He frowns, his fingers tracing the edges of the scars lightly.

"I'll have to keep a closer eye on them. Make sure they don't get worse."

You nod, wincing slightly as he touches them.

He immediately stops touching the scars, his expression softening.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He whispers.

“It's okay- it just stings a little”. You assure.

But he still feels a pang of guilt at the thought of causing you pain, even if it was accidental.

"I'll try to be more careful. I just want to make sure they're healing properly." He goes on, feeling himself open up more- wanting to tell you just how much he cares.

He wraps you back up in new dressing, rolling your shirt down again and leaning down toward you.

“Hold onto me, I’ll help you up.” He says softly, putting his arms around your back as you wrap yours around the back of his neck, holding into him for support as he helps you up onto your feet without too much trouble.

For just a moment your chests press up- but soon letting go.

Alucard steps back, not wanting to cross any lines- but gods is his mind absolute chaos right now.

The feeling of your body closer than it’s ever been- the feeling of almost embracing you was too much for him to handle.

You clear your throat, leaning back against the bedpost, “Earlier today...in the library...”, you go on.

He perks back up, “Yes? What about it?”

“I'm sorry if i seemed too insistent, you probably wanted to be alone”…

He shakes his head, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Don't apologize. You didn't seem insistent at all. If anything, I found your curiosity endearing."

He sends you a smile, a softer look.

"And I must admit, it was nice to have some company in the library for once. I've been alone for so long that l've almost forgotten what it's like to talk to someone…”

You smile back, “Me too.”

He returns your easygoingness, “You're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?"

“I'm not, it's making me feel better too.”

He chuckles, a bit deeper this time.

"I see. So you're not just a beautiful woman with a sharp mind, you're also honest."

“I hope to be”, you reply wittingly.

“Honesty is a rare quality, you know.

Most people will say anything to get what they want, or to avoid hurting your feelings. But you... you seem to speak your mind without a second thought…Especially about my bread.”

You roll your eyes place and scoff, “I’ll never hear the end of it from you.”

“I’m still hurt.” He says, feigning offense.

The two of you exchange a few more pleasantries, both reveling in the fact that your issues from earlier have been mended and quickly forgotten. Thankfully.

Alucard glances out the window, seeing the darkness of the night outside and hearing your yawn.

"It's late. You should probably get some rest, as much as I wish to keep talking.” He adds on quickly.

You nod, opening the door as he walks out into the doorway.

“Goodnight, dear.” He says politely.

You respond with a kiss on his cheek, quick and gentle.

“Goodnight.” You say with a soft smile, and and shut the door on his dumbfounded face.

He stands there for a moment, stunned by your unexpected kiss.

His hand comes up to touch the spot where your lips had been, a look of surprise and... something else on his face. He shakes his head slightly, a small smile playing on his lips as he turns and walks away, heading to his own room and recalling the experience with every step. He tries to tell himself that it was just a polite gesture, nothing more, but he can't help the way his heart flutters at the thought of your lips on his skin. He knows any semblance of sleep won’t be easy- not after your stunt.

You sleep deeply through the night and into first light, unable to hear Alucard knocking at your door.

He knocks a second time, a tray of breakfast food in his hands.

Upon your lack of response, he enters the room quietly, his eyes immediately going to your bed to check on your condition- smiling softly as he sees you still asleep, setting the tray of food on a nearby table.

He walks over to the bed, his footsteps light and quiet so as not to wake you. It’s almost noon, and he wants to make sure you’re not feeling any sort of extreme exhaustion- considering the irregular surplus of sleep.

He continues to watch your face- finding himself getting used to the peaceful sight of your sleeping form.

But he notices a look of distress on your face, becoming concerned. He sits down on the edge of the bed, observing intently, his eyes narrowing as he realizes you're having a nightmare of some sort.

He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should wake you up, but the conviction on your face convinces him to act.

"Hey...wake up." He gently shakes your shoulder, trying to rouse you from your terrors.

He watches as you rise up in a jerked motion- breathe quick and heavy, pupils dilated and expression that of terror.

He places a comforting hand on your back.

"Shh... it's okay. You're safe now. It was just a dream." He says as he rubs your back in soothing circles, his touch gentle and reassuring. He looks at you with concern, his eyes filled with worry

"You were having a nightmare... do you want to talk about it?"

“I don’t really remember it-“ You say in a defeated tone, more annoyed than anything.

"Okay. But if you do, I'm here to listen."

“Thank you”, you say with a faint smile, his hand now on your shoulder.

"Of course.“ He glances over at the tray of food he brought in.

"I brought you some breakfast. You should eat something. It’ll take your mind off it perhaps?”

You take the tray appreciatively, nodding but still disoriented.

He notices the slight change in your expression. He tilts his head slightly, studying your face.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit... dazed."

“Sorry- i'm just- still waking up”

He chuckles softly, amused by your sleepy state “It's alright. I understand."

He sits on the edge of the bed again, watching you pick up the food, satisfied that you're finally eating something.

He leans back against the headboard of the bed, content to just sit with you for a while.

"How are your wounds feeling today? Are they healing well?"

“Oh- yes I think so”, you say, putting the tray next to you and turning to face him, lifting your shirt up to let him examine them.

He runs his fingers gently over the healing cuts under your bandages, making sure they're not infected or still bleeding

"Good. They look like they're healing nicely. You'll probably be fully healed in a few more days."

“A few more days...alright”. You start to think to yourself, wondering what'll happen then- considering that you’ll have no need to stay here once you’re healthy.

He notices the look on your face, the slight furrow in your brow as you think to yourself. He lowers your shirt, his gaze fixed on you

"Is something wrong?”, he asks, getting closer to you as he tries to coax it out of you.

You simply shake your head.

He raises an eyebrow, not quite believing you. At all actually.

"You know you can tell me if something is bothering you, right?"

“I know…” You say, unconvincingly once again.

He reaches out and gently takes your hand in his, his touch gentle and comforting

"You can trust me, you know. I won't judge you. I swear it.” He says with a gentle expression.

“Yeah- yeah I know.” You say quickly, your face developing a rouge at his sudden act of affection. Or maybe it was just- care, a polite gesture of friendship.

You go back to eating your breakfast, slipping your hand out of his.

Even while enjoying your morning meal, your stomach is heavy with the residual feelings of your nightmare- frustration that you can’t seem to remember what made you feel so ill.

“Do you ever get nightmares?” You ask Alucard.

He looks to face you- a bit unprepared for your question but honest.

“At times, they seem more like recollections than fantasies of my mind.”

You furrow your brows, looking done at your food and playing around with it.

“I can’t remember what I was even dreaming about- but it’s a strange feeling.”

You go on, opening up about the discomfort of your body.

He frowns, feeling a mix of sympathy and concern for you. He pulls you closer to him, his arms wrapping around you in a comforting embrace.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could take it away from you."

You let out a surprised sound- hands hesitating to wrap around him.

He can feel your surprise, unrelenting. He holds you tightly against his chest, one hand gently stroking your hair

"It's okay," he murmurs softly.

"You're safe now. I won't let anything happen to you. Alright?”

You feel your brows scrunch up and your body lighten- as if he’s shared some room in his body for you to lay your afflictions bare. To take some of the pain from you and lock it away in himself.

With contemplation- you hug him back.

He holds you closer, his chin resting on the top of your head

"That's it," he murmurs. "Just relax. Let me hold you."

His words soothe you like a balm, mending together pensive feelings of melancholy you weren’t even aware of before.

You feel warm tears roll down your cheeks, sniffling before he gently rocking you back and forth as he tries to soothe you

"Shhh, it's okay. Let it all out," he whispers, his voice filled with tenderness and compassion.

"I've got you," he continues.

You use every second to try and pull yourself up together- but he wraps around you close, holding you together as you fall apart in his arms.

He continues to whisper words of comfort, his voice low and soothing

"You're doing so well. Just keep breathing. In and out, that's it."

After a few minutes of much needed exhalations, you recover well in the vampires arms.

He feels a sense of relief wash over him as you relax against him. He gently tilts your chin up.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asks gently, his hand still stroking your hair.

You let out a cathartic sigh, nodding.

He cups your cheek in his hand, his thumb gently brushing away the tears from your face

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. You had me worried for a moment there."

“Sorry...I guess I just haven't had someone hug me a long time.”

He shakes his head, his hand still cupping your cheek.

"You have nothing to apologize for.

And don't ever apologize for needing comfort. Everyone needs a hug sometimes."

As you calm yourself more, Alucard decides to give you some space to recollect yourself, clearly needing it.

“I’ll give you some space. I’ll be in the library, if you need anything.” He reminds, before bidding you a goodbye after making sure you ate.

You take deep inhales and deeper exhales, your mind ringing with his voice guiding you through breathes.

The room becomes quiet and dark, you're left alone with your thoughts. The memory of Alucard's touch and his warm smile are all you can think about, and you can't help but wonder what he's doing right now- deciding it’s better to find out for yourself than wonder.

Alucard looks up as you enter the library.

He sets down the book he was reading and smiles softly.

"Feeling better?" he asks.

You smile and nod, walking closer.

"Come here," he says, patting the chair next to him. "You can keep me company."

You gladly take a seat, eyes roaming over the various books and sheets covering the desk- similar to yesterday’s spreads.

He notices how close your face is to his work. He closes the book, gently tapping your forehead with it.

"You're going to give yourself a headache if you keep reading like that," he teases, a playful glint in his eyes.

You pout and rub your forehead.

“Rude…” You say in a whisper.

You scoot closer to get a better look at the writing, your elbows folding on top of the table.

As you observe the scripts, Alucard is more concerned with how beautiful you look- even when you’re concentrated, and he can't help but feel a pang of longing in his chest- quickly pushes those feelings aside, not wanting to ruin the moment with his own desires.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, noticing the pause of his writing and his gaze.

He blinks, realizing he's been caught staring. He quickly looks away, clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Ah, nothing," he says, trying to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.

"Just lost in thought for a moment."

You nod, going back to watching him work, putting your head on his shoulder with the close proximity.

He freezes for a moment, completely caught off guard by your sudden closeness. He can feel the warmth of your body against his, and the scent of your hair filling his senses.

He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his composure, but it's becoming increasingly difficult.

You can’t help but chuckle at his reaction.

He can feel your laughter vibrating through him, and it's a pleasant sensation.

"What's so funny, human?" he asks, playfully.

“Nothing, you've just….been on that page for a while. You can’t read can you? Tell me the truth.” You play around sarcastically.

He glances back down at the book, realizing that he's been staring at the same page for several minutes now, obviously at that.

He lets out a soft chuckle, embarrassed that he got so distracted by your presence once again, finding it to a troublesome, reoccurring issue.

"Ah, I guess I am a bit distracted," he admits, his gaze flickering back to you.

“No no it’s okay, lots of people can’t read you know. Don’t be embarrassed”, you continue with your nonsense joke.

You pretend to look around, your eyes going around left and right as he shakes his head.

He shuts the book, setting it aside and turning his full attention to you as he pushes it away.

He turns his body towards you.

"You're a distraction," he teases, poking your side gently.

“Hey!” You exclaim, “you invited me to sit here”, you digress, poking him back.

He chuckles and dips his finger in a small pool of ink, swiping it on your nose, making you backup a bit and give him more room for defense.

You gasp at the sudden cool touch of pigment- and run after him as he walks over quickly to the books nearby.

“This is not fair at all!” You exclaim, watching him dodge your attacks with ease.

“That seems like a personal issue, yes?” He says as he walks deeper into what seems like a maze of shelves.

As you get more and more competitive- you finally land a hit on him: a decently sized dab of ink landing on his cheek.

As it lands you run off- not wanting another hit of solvent somewhere on your face.

But of course…to your disadvantage, you can’t necessarily outrun a vampire.

Easily, he catches up to you- pinning you against the bookshelf. He stands over you, his body caging you in, as he holds up his finger- ready to mark you with another proof of failure.

"No escape now," he teases, his hand slowly and tauntingly smearing ink around your chin.

You roll your eyes and chuckle- the both of you breathless from the chase.

He can feel your small breathes mingle with his- noticing your chest pressed up against his.

He looks down at you, his eyes locking onto yours, and suddenly the playful atmosphere shifts into something more intense.

He rubs your bottom lip- except you don’t feel anymore ink rubbing into you, just the touch of his skin, his eyes glued to your supple lips as you look at his gaze.

“Alucard…?” You whisper softly.

He doesn’t look at you, eyes still glued to your flushed cheeks and the staggered breathe that escapes from your mouth.

“Hm?” He responds, finally flickering his eyes up to look at you.

“Yes dear?”

As your eyes lock, you feel a force that only pushes you to an immeasurable distance into him- and he responds immediately.

As if endless moments of pining finally meet its destiny- the kiss is tentative at first, a slow exploration of each other's mouths.

He takes his time, wanting to savor every moment of this, wanting to make sure that you're comfortable and enjoying it too.

Your arms wrap around each there- Alucards large frame pressing you into the bookcases behind you as his hands hold your sides- your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer.

He groans softly at your hands on him, your tongue meeting his in a heated dance. He's surprised by how easily you fall into rhythm with him, how well your bodies seem to fit together.

He revels in the sounds you're making, the way your body trembles against his. He descends his kisses to your cheek and then neck- feeling your pulse racing under his lips. He continues to kiss and nip at your neck, his fangs scraping gently against your skin as he moves down to your collarbone- the feeling of his teeth grazing your skin absolutely electric.

Your fingers grip slightly at his hair, running through them as he lavishes your shoulder with his sweet kisses.

Your body starts to arch into his touch. His hands on your sides tighten, holding you in place- his breath heavy as he starts to speak between kisses.

“Stop me…please, please stop me if you don’t want this…Stop me, I won’t be able to stop myself.” He pleads, kissing up to your ear as his other hand snakes up to hold the side of your neck, pulling his face to look at you again, his aureate eyes piercing into yours.

You let out deep breathes from your nose, swallowing the lumps in your throat as your half lidded eyes meet his, nodding just enough to assure him before diving back into his lips.

He groans again at the feeling of your lips, his grip on your thighs tightening. He presses his hips against yours, letting you feel the evidence of his arousal.

He breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your jawline and to your neck once more. He can't resist the urge to mark you, his teeth meeting kisses and sucks at the sensitive flesh.

“Alucard-“ You interrupt.

He growls against your neck, his teeth almost sinking into your skin just enough to leave a mark

"Yes, my dear?" he murmurs, his voice low and yearnful.

“You….can drink, if you want to.” You go on softly, seeing his eyes flicker with an immediate importance.

He lets out a shaky breath, his control hanging by a thread. He can feel his fangs lengthening, his body practically vibrating with need as he gulps.

"You shouldn’t say such things to a dhampir," he growls, his grip on your hips tightening almost painfully.

He leans in closer, his lips brushing against your pulse point once more.

He can feel your heart racing, the scent of your blood is enough for him to go mad- the sound of your blood that pumps through your veins sounding like the perfect symphony.

"Last chance to change your mind, y/n.” He murmurs, his breath hot against your skin.

You shake your head, holding his chin and tangling your fingers in his hair.

“I want to feel it…feel you.”

Your words cause his self-control to shatter. He can't hold back any longer, the need to taste your blood overpowering everything else, any sense of responsibility or moral compass gone- your declaration of want is all it takes.

He sinks his fangs into your neck, a deep moan rumbling in his chest as the taste of your blood hits his tongue. You feel the two long needles puncture your skin smoothly- the pain quickly subsiding as you feel his lips plant themselves on your skin and his breathe blows kisses over your skin over and over- his chest puffing out as he gets closer and more greedy.

You felt his hands clutching at your waist as if his fingerprints could weld onto your skin like iron.

The pain and pleasure mingled, creating a heady cocktail that clouded your senses.

The room spun around you, the world narrowing to the sensations of his fangs in your skin and the blood leaving you and nourishing him, his heart pounding in sync with your own.

You felt his hardened length, insistent, pressing against your thigh, a silent testament to the desire coursing through him while the taste of your blood intoxicates him- the taste like ambrosia, all while he can feel your body trembling against his, can hear the sounds of pleasure falling from your lips.

He can smell your arousal, the scent driving him wild with desire. He drinks deeply, his tongue lapping at the puncture wounds on your neck to encourage the flow of blood.

His grip on you almost bruising as he grinds against you-feeling himself losing control, his body acting on pure instinct as he takes what he needs from you, as if you were providing him with life force.

He finally pulls back, his fangs leaving your neck as he looks at you- your blood on his lips staining them as if he devoured a mound of cherries.

You smear the droplet across the corner of his lip- the red hue replacing what was once ink, pressing your lips onto his.

He moans into the kiss, his tongue tangling with

He carries you over to the nearest surface, which just so happens to be the desk you were just at. He sets you down on it, his body pressing against yours as he continues to kiss you hungrily and messily.

He chuckles against your lips, enjoying the way you groan as he pushes the books off the desk to make space for you. He lifts your hips slightly, grinding his hardness against you through the layers of fabric between you- growling in approval as you open your legs for him, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he presses himself against you even more.

He nips at your collarbone, his lips trailing down to your chest as he begins to unbutton your shirt with deft fingers.

“May I?” He asks before completing removing it at your confirmation.

He pushes your shirt off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor and leaving you exposed to him

"Gods, you're perfect," he murmurs, his hands moving to cup your breasts as he leans down to capture one of your nipples in his mouth, your head tilting back as moans spills from your mouth- his tongue swirling around it before he gently nips at it with his teeth, the small remnants of your blood on his lips painting your chest in blotches.

His other hand moves to your other breast, his large hand almost completely covering it as he squeezes and kneads the soft flesh.

“Fuck-“ You groan, feeling his fingers tweaking at your sensitive buds while you feel him grinding even harder onto you his fingers trace patterns on your skin as he continues to worship your body.

Your fingers deftly unbutton his shirt, letting it fall open - his head perks back up to capture your lips once more.

Your hands trail down to his belt buckle.

He breaks the kiss, his lips moving to your ear as he whispers

"Eager, are we?"

“Can you blame me…?”

"No," he murmurs. "Because I want you to be. I want you desperate and needy for me…burn for me, like I burn for you.” He groans against your ear, his hands trailing up the sides of your thighs and gripping your hips to toy with the hem of your skirt.

“Stay still”, he whispers, his voice much more playful now. “Let me check the rest of these wounds? Yes?” He mentions, slowly letting the tie of your skirt undo itself as he slides it down, humming in approval as you lift your hips for him.

His cold hands touch your bare skin and you almost flinch, but you welcome them.

“Draga mea…you’re stunning.” He groans, looking down to appreciate your skin under the moonlight seeping from the overhand windows of the library.

You feel the light seeping into your skin and more noticeably his hands becoming more

bold, more desperate, and daring. So are his kisses, descending down your neck to the valley of your breast, worshipping your skin as he kneels down to get on both knees while his face is met with your core- your cunt throbbing loud enough that his ears are sure to pick up on it.

He parts your thighs further, his hands gripping them tightly as he continues to kiss and nip at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

He's close enough now that you can feel his hot breath on your aching core, but he's deliberately avoiding touching you where you need it most.

“Alucard…please-“

He looks back up at you, cutting you off before you can beg.

“Adrian. I need you to call me that now.” He says, placing a kiss on your core through the fabric.

“Okay?” He adds, waiting for you to nod before he slips the fabric off and finally darts his tongue out to tease the sensitive skin just above your clit, smirking into your folds when he heard your breathe hitch.

He moves his tongue down slightly, tracing around your clit.

He can see how wet you are, your arousal dripping down, tasting it.

He starts to lap at your clit, his tongue swirling around it in tight circles before dipping down to tease your entrance as your moans spill out, hand tangles in the his hair, gripping his golden strands and making him groan into you, eyes darting up to meet yours- lost in the taste and scent of you, completely consumed by the desire to make you feel good.

You feel your hands gripping tighter, the heavy cinch in your abdomen ready to snap.

Minutes that felt like hours of him reverently pleasing you- you tremble and gasp.

He doubles down his efforts, his tongue and lips working even harder to push you over the edge. He can tell you're close, your body trembling and your breath coming in short gasps

“Adrian- I’m-!” You whine, your legs loosening their clasps around his face as you cum on his tongue.

He groans loudly as you cum, his tongue eagerly lapping up every drop of your release. He doesn't stop, continuing to lick and suck at your sensitive flesh even as you ride out your orgasm.

He finally pulls back, his face wet with your juices as he looks up at you. “You’re so beautiful when you cum. I want to make you do it over, and over.” He said, rising up to his feet- resting his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his breath

"You have no idea what you do to me," he whispers, his voice filled with raw emotion, lips brushing on your ear.

“What do I do to you?” You reply, pulling your head back to look up at him.

He gazes back down at you, his heart clenching at the sight of your innocent eyes. His hand cups your face, fingers tracing your supple face.

“You make me want things I never thought I could have. Things I don’t deserve." He admits, almost like confessing a sin to you, leaning in to kiss you again, pressing his lips against yours in a tender caress.

“I almost want to keep you here. Just for myself- look at how selfish you’ve made me, draga mea”. He speaks, a smooth accent painting his last words as he pecks kisses to your jaw, chuckling deeply as he feels your hands unbuckling his belt and letting it fall.

Both of your hands frantically pull at eachother- the innocent chuckles and soft kisses between the seconds it takes for him to undress and spread you apart- ready to give you the attention you need.

He positions himself at your entrance, his cock throbbing with anticipation. He looks into your eyes, his expression filled with desire and possessiveness

"Are you ready for me, love?" he asks, his voice low and rough. "Are you ready to feel me inside you?"

“Yes- please, need more Adrian.” You plead.

He slowly pushes in, his hips moving in a slow, deliberate thrust.

He looks down at you, his eyes locked on your face as he watches your expression

"Relax for me, love," he murmurs, his hands stroking your thighs gently. "Let me in."

You nod, breathing in and out softly as he helps you and reassures you with soft words and gentle caresses.

“You’re doing so well, keep going for me. Breathe…Fuck- just like that.”

He can feel your body relaxing around him, allowing him to slide in further with each slow glide of his hips.

When he finally bottoms out, he feels your walls clenching down on him- making him bite down on his one lil til it bleeds.

The same blood hits your lips over and over on an tangle of kisses, his pace getting faster and more intense as he starts to lose himself inside you- his heart beating in sync with yours as he fucks you on the desk that starts to creak now.

“Fuck- it's so...” You groan, your stomach pooling with the same feeling just moments ago.

"So what, love?" he asks, his voice rough. "Tell me. Tell me how it feels. Tell me everything.”

You whine softly- felling each thrust hammer into you even deeper as he urges you to speak.

“So...fucking good...” You admit, wholeheartedly.

He shudders at your words, his cock twitching inside you. He nips at your ear, his breath hot against your skin

"My perfect little human," he groans, his hands roaming over your body- your walls tightening hearing him whisper to you.

"Oh, you like that, don't you?" he whispers again, his voice low and seductive. "Being told how perfect you are? Hm?”

You can’t reply even if you wanted to- and you most urgently did. Only whines and moans escape your lips.

He chuckles, his smirk widening as he sees the effect his words have on you

"You're such a good girl," he murmurs, his lips brushing against your neck. "So beautiful, so sweet. I wonder how many times I can make you cum tonight."

“So close- Adrian!”

He can feel your body trembling beneath him, your breathing ragged and uneven

“Come for me, darling” he whispers, his voice smooth and sickly sweetened. "I've got you. I'll take care of you."

You look up at him once more- your big pleading eyes grasping for a piece of his soul to gaze into.

Looking down at you again, his eyes meet yours. He's momentarily struck by the vulnerability and trust in your gaze, and it almost brings him to his knees completely.

"God, I love you," he whispers, his voice raw with emotion- almost as if he had no time to think before he spoke, as if it would change anything.

Your heart thumps, unable to tear your gaze away.

“A-Adrian-“ You moan out- his cock still pumping in and out of you and hitting every spot to make you cry out- ultimately making you spill all over him as you cum.

He lets out a shaky breathe feeling you release.

He’s never said those words out to anyone before, never dared to hope that he would ever feel this way at all.

He buries his face in your neck, his movements becoming more desperate as he clings to you, still going even as you’ve finished.

"Say it," he begs, his voice rough. "Please, say it. I need to hear it."

Your thighs twitch around his waist- overstimulated and sweaty, “love you…Adrian-! I love you…” You reply, clawing your nails at his back.

He groans into your neck, his own orgasm washing over him in a powerful wave.

"Oh, gods-" he gasps, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you. He holds you tightly, his body shaking, licking at the wounds he planted on your neck from earlier, wanting to taste the crimson of your being, just a little more.

As the blood draws, each drop hitting his senses, he knows he is binded tightly to a world he cannot live in without your presence. His Affliction.

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[vexedcoast]

I can be a better boyfriend than him

ft. fdom vi. and afab sub reader

a/n: pillow princess femme reader taking hexstrap like a champ . not much plot bc I'm lazy as fuck. if a man tried to flirt like this I'd call the c0ps but,, if vi did this 🤭 hehe .

cw : heavy cheating ( readers boyfriend is an asshole , and cheats on reader . . so ,,, justified ). pet names ( princess, bunny, pretty girl — for reader , daddy, sir — for vi ). hexstrap is referred to as cock a few times .

this party was going to be the death of you — it was supposed to be an escape from the hell you were in . your boyfriend of two years cheated — took someone else into your bed . not just once, but three times ( that he admitted ). you hadn't officially broken it off yet — seeking out piltover's shadiest party that you could find on such short notice .

the music, the bodies — everything was too much . what you needed was a god damn distraction . anything, anyone, to take away the pain . a drink in your hand — the bitter taste of alcohol burned your throat before the barkeep could even ask for your name to build you a tab for the night . you slid over a few crumbled bills, mumbling a soft thank you.

the night bustled on — but you kept feeling eyes on you . but no matter where you looked, you couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from . that was until your gaze finally found her, scarlet haired — bruised knuckles and muscles where you had no ideas muscles could be so defined . your expression must have been pitiful, she approached within half a second . your mouth agape , scarlet staining your cheeks .

"what's a sweet thing like you doing all alone in such a scary place ?"

her voice rasped — rough palm cupping your cheek . your expression and lips moved like a fish out of water . stunned, floored at not just her prescene but her confidence . the way she ever so slowly backed you against a wall near the bar — hand resting on the chipped paint , not exactly caging you in but encroaching you . her other hand shifted to your waist with a bit more hesitation, giving you enough time to push her away .

" looking for a distraction. "

you answered breathlessly — lower lip quivering ever so slightly . leaning into her touch as though it recharged your own body .

"I can give you a good distraction, just not here."

her lips skimmed your ear, whispering into it with a wolf like grin — teeth barring. before you could think twice, you mewled out a soft please . oh, she was going to devour you.

✿　.　˚　. 　 ˚

"c'mon puppy, suck."

battered hand dug into your hair — pushing you forward , you opened your mouth without having to be told twice. lips wrapped around the strap, eyes rolling back as vi slid it down your throat . slow at first, giving you a few seconds to adjust yourself . her hand brushed soothingly against your scalp, trimmed nails scratching ever so slightly .

you began to move - bobbing your head up and down, taking her deeper and deeper. your eyes set back to vi's gaze, keeping hold of it as you started to gag on the cock . your hands were invisibly tied behind you — not having to any room to argue when vi told you exactly what to do and how to do it .

" such a good puppy — i can't believe someone would let you go. you're so loyal and obedient."

vi graveled, palm shifting to your chin — tipping it up to maintain eye contact . her thumb brushed your cute little tears away, rocking her hips forward and cooing as you gagged even more . so pretty, she whispered.

as fast as her cock parted your lips, it was gone . she pulled away , unable to hide laughter as you looked pathetically up at her like you were just deprived of air . poor puppy . her fingers remained on your chin, cooing at you .

"on the bed, hands and knees."

she stated as a fact rather than a question. you obeyed instantly, nearly jumping onto the shoddy mattress. squirming, whimpering like a bitch in heat.

vi moved like a lioness going for the kill . gruff hand gripping your hip while another slapped the strap against your clit.

"beg."

once again, an easy command to follow — lips parting almost like you'd been given an electric shock from the demand.

"please, please fuck me. please daddy — i need you so badly. I'm throbbing for you. "

the pet name slipped without even thinking about it . you could feel her entire body stiffen at the two syllables .

"oh, fuck I'm sorry it just slipped out – I didn't mean to—."

the apology spat out quickly, your eyes widening .

violet flipped you over like you were a little feather. trapping you between her and the mattress. it took several beats before you realized exactly what happened. a thumb slid past your lips and held your tongue down .

"you need daddy to fuck you? need daddy's cock, puppy? you beg so sweetly — i bet that pussy is dripping, and i haven't even touched you yet."

she kneed open your legs — which you complied , spreading your thighs open like the red sea . her thumb remained on your tongue, now allowing a response.

"its big, but you can take it, right? be good for daddy. fuck, how could someone see you like this and not keep you as their own personal fuck toy? so good. take daddy's cock."

her words stung, just a bit . but she was right, how could he cheat on you when you lowered such a gorgeous, drooling mess? all you could do was nod, bucking your hips up . vi shifted her hands to hold down your waist, teasing your entrance with just the tip.

" don't even think about trying to set the pace. don't fucking move those hips without permission, understood?"

you yelped as the head of her strap pushed inside, whimpering out yes sir's over and over again. you needed more.

"good girl. oh you're already taking my cock so well."

she didn't go any further, which you were rather thankful for. the strap was nearly nine inches and thick — breaking you apart bit by bit. your jaw slacked whimpering out nothing more than begs. her hand and thumb released you, only to wrap around behind your knee - hiking it over her shoulder.

"don't stop, please daddy."

your whines got louder, trying once more to buck your hips up. which was met with a slam into you — strap kissing deep inside you without warning.

"i told you not to do any work, princess."

she warned — pulling herself back out all the way , unable to hide laughter as you squirmed under her. your legs shook with anticipation, trying your best not to move. her nails dug into the plushness of your tights, imprinting crescent shapes into your skin.

"take my strap c'mon puppy."

you did as you were told, arching your back up as she slid herself back into you till the hilt kissed your clit once more, the leather harness straps digging in just a bit. your core dripped, ached as she stretched you out with no mercy. with every thrust, her muscles tensed and fuck— she had so many. your eyes had a hard time focusing on just one part of her.

your hands dug into her biceps, gripping tight while she slid in and out at a merciless pace — giving you no time to even think, let alone try to move your hips. but now, — her thumb pushed down on your clit, finding it with her eyes closed – like a well trained marksman. it rubbed slow, deep, methodical circles — pulling you closer and closer to the edge.

"can I cum sir, please please please. I've been so good."

you cried, trying to hold on — wanting to be a good, sweet girl for her.

"cum for daddy, cum on my cock."

she urged you, but really — you hadn't really needed a blessing. already tipping over the edge before she called herself daddy. tears pricked in the outer corners of your eyes, cat like nails scratching against her battered and bruised skin - whining.

✿　.　˚　. 　 ˚　✿.

"stay."

her voice was firm, pulling you back to her chest — tucking your head into her neck.

"but I —, he. ."

you tried, but failed — mumbling against her skin .

"is nothing to you anymore. I can be a better boyfriend than he ever could be."

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

"How do you disprove fantasy?" contains the kernel of its own answer; you disprove fantasy. Not just this fantasy, the concept of living by a fantasy in general.

[This is pretty, like. Me thinking stuff through in real time. It's rambly as hell and probably wrong/misinformed/poorly thought out somewhere, or multiple somewheres, despite the tone being one of relative certainty. Massive thanks to both posters above, who I feel like I'm basically paraphrasing for most of this]

Fantasies are appealing because they are simple and guaranteed. You do this, you get that. In exchange for inflexibility you get narrative determinism (until you don't). Use the right pickup lines, get sex. Work hard, get rich. Marry a good man, live easily.

In a world where life is complex and uncertain, this is extremely attractive. Everyone takes mental shortcuts when their mental resources are overtaxed. Taking mental shortcuts makes it easier to believe something is a sure thing. Everyone loves a sure thing. The simplest and easiest mental shortcut that exists is outsourcing thought entirely to something or someone trusted. You are not immune to propaganda. There is a perfect cult out there for you. It is simply how we are.

In the case of the current wave of right-wing crap this is a classic case of selling the solution to a problem you created: making life complex through fear and simplifying it again through ideology, "flooding the zone with shit", pushing policies of misery and then blaming the misery on someone else while you peddle your snake oil.

Fascism as a whole works this way, of course; the mythologised perfect past comes with the idea of "it used to be this way, so it must be possible (indeed easy!) to return to it". Retrace your steps and end up somewhere better. No need to go forward into the unknown when backward into the comfortable is coincidentally the best way to improve things.

Conceptually clean, taps into intuition about other things (the idea of returning home, the idea of retracing one's steps) to make the shortcut relevant, easily digestible, and as correct as the intuitions it ties itself to.

Powerful and believable. Narratively inevitable. Exceptionally truthy. An easy world to live in.

Simple and guaranteed.

Then the hooks get in, your life is built around the fantasy, letting go is made more painful (you don't want to lose all your friends, do you? You don't want to betray your country, do you? You don't want to become our next target, do you?), and they introduce their own complexities and hardships to put you to work for them.

Not to get all 1984 about it, but this is what the "rejecting the evidence of your eyes and ears" thing is about. If your conception of the world and yourself depends on something axiomatically, anything that contradicts that thing cannot exist. It would literally be 1 = 0. You must have made a mistake perceiving it. Pigs don't fly. Gravity is a fact of life, so if you see a pig flying there must be an explanation that is consistent with gravity.

We're built this way because if we spent every moment questioning gravity then that would mentally exhaust us even faster than the modern world.

However, that exact thing, questioning gravity, the thing we can't do without our minds exhausting themselves, is something that has led us to innumerable scientific advances since we started doing it.

How do you disprove fantasy? Sometimes you don't.

Everyone takes mental shortcuts when their mental resources are overtaxed. Most people take mental shortcuts before then to conserve thinking power for things that need it. We still use Newton's equations of motion despite their inaccuracy because adding the relativity shit is a waste of time and energy for a ball rolling down a hill, or a building staying up, or car staying on the road.

It is not, however, a waste of time and energy when you're working with GPS.

When do you disprove fantasy? When it matters.

And that's the how. You challenge beliefs when they have consequences, and the worse the consequences the harder they should be challenged. Brainpower is limited, so spend it where it counts. Beliefs that are correct will stand up to any challenge. Beliefs that are partially correct become refined, or turn into useful heuristics. Beliefs that are wrong become exposed.

This is something anyone can take on board, because it doesn't invalidate any belief by itself. It's not critical thinking, exactly; it's the understanding that your capacity for critical thinking is limited and a guide on where you should spend it.

It's also a belief with heavy and far-reaching consequences for everything you do, so it should be subject to significant challenge.

But then, so is any belief, fantasy or no, that one might live by.

Of course, this sort of thinking is not a cure-all. The scientific method exists because challenging beliefs is hard. Double blind studies exist specifically to remove the belief of everyone involved from having any contact with the results. Scientists run into countless issues that these controls only mitigate at best. Our daily lives don't permit us even these conveniences.

And this is just for dealing with your own beliefs; when you start thinking about other people, you have no direct knowledge of their thought processes or life experiences and of course no ability to direct their thoughts as you might your own. If challenging your own beliefs is harder than uncovering the secrets of the universe, how do you even get started on challenging the beliefs of others?

How do you disprove fantasy? From within.

From without, you can do a few things. Discuss what sorts of things matter and the importance of examining them. Talk about thought processes and life experiences you do share (see the second post above). Present alternative perspectives. Encourage exploration of these perspectives, even if only as an intellectual exercise. If it were you, what would you do? If you thought differently, if your situation changed, how would you respond? Experience in thinking of different worlds is a valuable tool for beginning to question your own.

Overall, what I'm getting at is that you never really disprove someone else's fantasy. Honestly you never even really disprove your own; a fantasy is an infinitely malleable thing, after all. It can't be disproven, not really, and in many cases it doesn't even matter. We're not sending up probes to find Russel's Teapot, after all.

Truthfully this isn't my wheelhouse, though. The above paragraph is faffy intellectual foundation shit that addresses nothing; the nice 50s ex-conservative Christian has said everything about praxis better than I ever could and provided much better actionable examples. I think in terms of talking to actual people most if not all of this crashes into "I am certain" or "I don't need to waste time on the obvious"; if encouraging intellectual curiosity was a formula for positive social change we'd be living in a utopia by now.

I've avoided saying much specific about what ought to be; in practice, that is the whole point of the exercise and nobody's getting anything done without a solid foundation in that. I'm speaking on a very high level that's ironically pretty far removed from on-the-ground reality, and this is more about trying to understand thinking than trying to change it.

I think this is what bugs me about a lot of "rationalism" type stuff, and where it can become an ideology; "that which can be destroyed by the truth should be" is treated as an axiom, and it both easily leads to exhaustion and offers no compromise to or acknowledgement of the autonomy of others. Aside from raising several ethical concerns, quickly leading to burnout, and assuming "the truth" is something that can ever be fully known, let alone wielded, this is also a great way to invoke hostility in everyone you talk to.

What you can do is make the choice to abandon fantasy when it matters rather than adapt it to fit, to hold beliefs that have heavy consequences to higher standards of proof (extroadinarily impactful claims require extraordinary evidence), to err on the side of empathy and compassion, and to encourage others to live the same way.

Assuming you believe that's the right way to live, of course.

The alt-right's foothold into Gen-Z is frustrating and I can see from over here how they're doing it.

You've got a generation of young-adults who are learning to be adults for the first time and for so many of them it sucks. It sucks to be in your first shitty apartment where things break, and to have your first shitty car that needs maintenance, and to be working a low-paying service or retail job where you get berated all day and barely scrape by. And you go home and you have taxes to figure out and electric bills to figure out and a screen on your phone to rot into to destress.

And this is men and women, equally, in this spot. But the alt-right messaging gets to tailor their approach to gender.

And hey women, yes you working a shitty job for shitty pay, overwhelmed by financial responsibilities and car repairs, what if you actually didn't need to do ANY of that? You don't need to. And you don't need to feel guilty about it. (You're not quitting, you're not being lazy), you actually are just embracing the chance to be exactly who an ideal woman should be. You should actually be beautiful, and demure, and barefoot in a sunny kitchen, glowing, pregnant, hearing the joyful sounds of your children while you bake a roast for your wonderful husband (strong, protective, loves you, handles the finances, handles the jobs, handles all the things you hate). OUR ancestors (don't mind the dogwhistle) did this for GENERATIONS, and modern society has failed you instead!

It's offering to break women out of all the parts of their real life that suck, and do it in a way that promises they're actually being better, being more admirable, more moral, more respectable, more correct, can feel good about, can feel proud about, as a Woman as Feminine as Mother as Goddess.

And the thing being promised does not need to actually reflect reality. It's a fantasy. It is not real. For every "beautiful demure barefoot" day, you'd be having another one covered in shit changing diapers of screaming infants with screaming children while your husband ignores you because it's Women's Work (take pride!) But that doesn't matter. It just needs to sound better than the reality they're living.

Then the men are targeted too. And it's the same in that it's getting to them by appealing to pride in their gender, but the messaging is different. It's "those finances are hard but ACTUALLY you're leveling up, you're grinding, you're finance maxing." It's hard but it's the kind of hard that is a challenge you can WIN at, boast about, post about, prove your manliness. Knowing cars, knowing home repairs, knowing taxes, that's your MAN pride, and you are so elite, you are so sigma, you are the envy of everyone, you are a masculine man. Women love you. Women will defer to you. Strong, respected, moral, loyal, unshakeable. Unlike those pansy men (mind the homophobic dogwhistling) who will whimper and cry like girls. You are better.

The shitty retail job is actually humble beginnings because you're minmaxing your way to financial success (bitcoin, crypto, investments). You can sleep with any woman you want as long as you're confident, and then you'll find one who understands how smart and confident and strong and protective you are and she will defer to you as her man. She will birth your children and teach them good morals and you will make it. Our ancestors lived this way for generations (dogwhistle) and modern society took it from you.

And with that messaging it makes it clear who the enemy in all this is - modern society that has convinced women to torture themselves with high education and terrible jobs, turned them Ugly with Ugly opinions and bad hair and nasty attitudes, yelping about "rights" and "equality" (pitting them against men! TAKING things from men!) All the while, society has been trying to emasculate men--replace them with women, make them soft and emotional, make them gay, make them WEAK. We've been made WEAK.

The naive women hearing this go "I'm not ugly! I don't hate men! I DO hate my job and my finances. I've been tricked. I'm actually rebelling by declaring my goal is to get a Perfect (White) (Christian) moral husband who will make all our decisions and protect me and our children." (And when she's financially trapped in an abusive marriage...? When she's suicidal with PPD but her husband won't touch that because it's Woman Hysteria...? And when her husband leaves her for someone who was as hot as she was 20 years ago and now she's figuring out finances, health care, taxes, bank accounts for the first time in her life...?)

And the men go "They've been TAKING things from us for too long! It's time to be men again! It's time to take pride! I am strong and confident. I am in charge! I never show weakness!" (And when he's got a gun to his head due to the depression he's never been allowed to talk about as Women Feelings...? And when he's financially ruined from a crypto scheme that stroked his ego and robbed him blind...? And when he's dead from alcohol poisoning and none of his adult children notice because no one's spoken to 'Dad' in 15 years...?)

And it's so hard to fight because you're arguing against a fantasy. How do you disprove their fantasy? It's so hard to explain to them, hey you're working a shitty job where you have no future because the rich bastards took it all from you. And now you're doing their work for them. You hate society because of what they've done to it and now you're doing their work. Now you're targeting groups who've never done anything to harm you and the guys responsible are laughing to the bank. How do you explain? How do you disprove fantasy?

[arliedraws]

Hi! I have an interesting question for you!

If Sirius traveled back in time into his younger body, but before that found out why and when Peter betrayed them, would he have tried to stop it or would he have just killed Peter outright?

Because I'm Thorn on this one: on one hand, whwn Peter and Sirius saw each other after 13 in the shack, Sirius sounded to be in so much pain from the betrayal, almost as if he hoped it wasn't real and that Peter is going to say he was idk, imperioused or something

On the other hand, Peter killed James and Lily, and so many of their other Order members, their friends, and then faked his Death while killing 12 more.

I've ruminated on this and honestly. I don't know.

Depends. If it's a long time before the betrayal, I wonder if he'd tell James or Dumbledore that Peter was the spy. I mean, I think he'd tell James right away that he had come from the future, so James might insist that they confront Peter rather than turn him in immediately because James strikes me as a "second chance" type of person. So Sirius, James, and Remus might sit Peter down and tell him they know he's the spy.

If you were to write a fic about this, there are a lot of ways you could go with it: Peter could panic + blow up the room (thus grievously injuring one or more of them), orrrrr Peter might take the opportunity to leave/escape Voldemort if he thought he would be protected. I can't always read Peter as a character, frankly, so I'm not sure.

However, to your question--would Sirius kill him? I don't think so. He DEFINITELY would have killed him in the Shack in PoA, and I think he would come close to killing Peter in a time travel situation, but I think Peter's the Gollum of HP where you just can't bring yourself to do it.

Look, I don't know why I feel this way, but if Sirius had faced Peter ALONE in PoA, I think he would have had a really hard time killing him. I'm talking about if there were no Remus and no Harry, just Sirius and Peter in a room. Like if Sirius managed to get into Gryffindor Tower during the Halloween feast, I think Peter would've been able to make Sirius hesitate. I mean, Sirius isn't stupid, but he loves so deeply. I don't know why I feel like this! But I just don't think Sirius has ever killed anyone before (maimed, maybe, but not purposely killed).

[yandere-sins]

The Orcas’ Tale - After End

[My Commission Info] | [My Ao3] | [Ko-Fi]

a/n: Another lovely commission for a sweet anon ♥ Thank you for commissioning me to write about my sweet fishy boy again!! :') It was a lot of fun!!! ♥

Characters: Nerrocan (OC) x AFAB!Reader Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Non-Con, Rubbing, Penetration with too big penis, Reader's first time, Breeding Kink, Cuminflation, Creampie), Violence (Biting, Blood mention, Scratching, Mentioning of wounds), Mentioning of Testing on the Mermaids, Obsessiveness, Overpowering, Monster, Monster Features, Dual POV, Long Post Words: 8157

You should have been used to emerging from water by now, yet, you still gasped for air the moment you breached the surface. 

The pool water parted to reveal the indoor basin of the new cave constructed in Nerrocan's habitat. For a moment, you were almost taken aback by the deja vu as it reminded you of the original cave you had been relocated to by the three orcas way back at the beginning of your journey. But the longer you looked around, the more the illusion vanished. It was familiar, but not the same.

Strong arms wrapped around you from beneath the blue. Arms that should have induced a fight or flight instinct inside you, but the feeling had long turned into acceptance. After so many days spent together, there was almost nowhere Nerrocan hadn't touched you, and considering he swam across the ocean with you, there had been much more closeness between you two than just this simple touch. 

"How do you like it?" he whispered expectantly into your ear as he emerged after you. By now, he usually let you swim alone if you two had some time together aside from the experiments. Nerrocan found watching you use all your limbs to get through the water amusing, and you wanted to go easy on him, especially whenever he had gone through something painful or gotten wounded.

Somehow, this only made this situation more nerve-wracking for you. 

"It's familiar… and yet, not at all," you replied vaguely, assuming he knew what you meant. Nerrocan hummed softly in agreement, and you swam to the edge of the water, putting your hands on solid ground. By then, all the memories shattered as you felt the unnatural material beneath your fingertips, a stark contrast to the stone cave Nerrocan had lived in before with his cousins. The material this cave was made of was nothing like that. It was just an imitation—a fake. Because that's all it was.

"I wanted it to resemble your old home. I was hoping you'd feel more relaxed in a familiar environment."

Lifting yourself out of the water, you were given a small push as Nerrocan used his tail to help you up. It didn't make for the most graceful landing, but you were thankful regardless for the assist. Now standing in the cave, you inspected the dimensions, glad the facility hadn't saved on making it big enough for a species like Nerrocan. This way, he could move around comfortably, although you observed him pacing around the pool even after receiving a proper retreat. Staying indoors must have made him restless regardless of how much effort you put into making him comfortable. It still hurt in your heart that he let himself get captured just for the sake of bringing you back to your people. 

You heard Nerrocan come out of the water behind you as you checked out the cave, walking the perimeter around the exit. Very quickly, you found where he stored food and, strangely enough, stones. Even though you didn't question him why he'd pick out stones from the bottom of the pool, you made a mental note to ask other researchers if this was perhaps a sign of boredom and if you had to get him something to busy himself with. It wasn't always the best idea to ask Nerrocan directly, as he usually resorted to saying he was fine as long as you were around. No matter how close you two lived, you couldn't always be there. So, instead, you would have to ask around later what others thought. It was just how things were done here in the facility. 

Another thing you noticed was the lack of decorations. You remembered the cave of the orcas had trophies and skins hanging on the walls. Nerrocan wasn't allowed to make or wield weapons anymore, obviously. Still, since he couldn't hunt, there was no way for him to actually decorate. Maybe that's what the stones are for, you thought quietly, furrowing your brows. 

"Something displeases you?" he suddenly asked, and you had almost forgotten that he was still around, observing you like he did most days. 

"Oh! Oh, no! It's fine!" you replied quickly, moving on from the barren walls. Although, you wondered if Nerrocan would appreciate art. But how would you get a painting down here without the water ruining it?

Next up, you found an obviously assigned sleeping space, and you sighed a sigh of relief, seeing that, at least here, the makers of the caves had taken note of what you told them. It was a more private corner in the whole cave, even slightly covered by an extra wall so Nerrocan had at least a tiny bit of privacy from the cameras that you saw blinking around the wall encircling this space. It would probably be your job to analyze the materials and repair them if they broke, which would be a hassle. But not anyone could just jump into Nerrocan's pool and especially enter his cave. That privilege went to only one person: you. 

"Do you get some good sleep here? Looks comfy!" you asked, pointing at the fur-bedding. It wasn't as smooth as seal fur but thicker, slightly elevated from the ground, reminding you of a futon. Perhaps Nerrocan could like this new added comfort. You definitely were glad about lying down on a mattress again rather than fur on the ground. 

"It's fine," he answered, a familiar response. You almost jumped a bit hearing him right behind you, looking back to find him having closed the distance to you while you were thinking about his bed. His eyes dragged away from the fur, Nerrocan's expression unreadable. Still, somehow, it gave you the feeling he didn't like the bed as much, considering it was just "fine". He might not have been an orca of many words, but you did feel he'd expressed himself differently had he actually liked it. It was time to change tactics!

"Do you prefer seal fur for–"

"You can sit down if you–"

Both of you looked at each other, stopping halfway through your sentences. It was rare that you two spoke up at the same time, but even Nerrocan's lips curled into a smile as you chuckled about it. However, he had no idea what that invitation elicited inside you, a knot forming in your stomach as you stood there, nervously thinking about your options. 

You two were a team; it wasn't right to distrust him. He had done a lot for you, and you weren't ungrateful for all his efforts, but you've noticed Nerrocan pushing. Pushing for something that you simply couldn't wrap your head around doing. 

The staff and the professor had told you extensively about your role and how to conduct yourself. They weren't shy and didn't make any of it sound goofy or pitiful as they explained the terms and what to do. Somehow, you were able to avoid it all this time up until now. Yet, the thought came back to you with the same fear and reluctance as when you first listened to them explain what it meant to mate. 

Essential, they had called it. The most important factor to the whole facility. Mermaids that didn't bond and mate with their caretakers were usually dead within months as they slowly withered away without a reason to live. Nerrocan had to have a mate, or he would probably die too. Despite your best care, the stones possibly were the first indication of his mental health declining. It was for the best of the test subjects, but you�� you couldn't do it. 

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, giving him a fake smile before replying, "S-Sure!" as confidently as you could. Carefully, you took a seat at the edge of his "bed", feeling the soft material below you give in beneath your body, yet cushioning you all the same. It didn't feel bad at all, but when you brushed your hand through the fur, you noticed how different it was from the softer seal Nerrocan was used to. 

"You know, it's no trouble to change this if you'd prefer a softer material to sleep on. How about we add some pillows? Do you know what a pillow is? You place your head on it. It's pretty nice!"

Perhaps you were rambling a little as you drew in your knees, hugging them tight to your chest like a defense barrier. You had to accept his invitation if you wanted information that would ultimately help him. Knowing what he was sleeping on right now would later benefit your case if you needed to ask for other things for him. Even if you didn't like how exposed you felt like this, it was your job to take care of him and make sure he was doing fine, even if he wasn't the best to communicate his feelings and thoughts to you. He had no one besides you to rely on, so you couldn't let him down even if you were uncomfortable.

Nerrocan had crawled closer once you took your seat, waiting for something it felt like as his muscles kept tensing and relaxing visibly. But there was a small sparkle in his eyes that you couldn't quite pinpoint. Maybe excitement? He seemed happier when you two talked about whatever came to mind, so perhaps he enjoyed the conversation despite your rambling. If you could make him happy just a little bit, that would be good. It would keep him healthy in the long run despite the awful things he had to endure. Tightening your arms around your legs, you tried not to think about it and instead focus on him. 

"It's fine. Perfect, now, actually."

There it was. Nerrocan, sly as he was, knew how to intensify words if he wanted. He had no problems with telling you if he liked something, if he actually meant it. And he did, now, after you sat down… in his sleeping spot… oh no.

Nerrocan let out a soft chirp as he leaned down more, almost bending over you and trapping you in his resting area with his big body. You couldn't outswim him, but a moment of surprise could be the only reason you left his cave alive. No matter how well-disposed he was towards you, you could never let your guard down around a predator like him. 

"Well! Great! I see you've been settling in nicely!"

You laughed nervously as you jumped up with too much vigor, almost banging your head with his, but Nerrocan reared back just in time. He was just like an animal in such moments, immediately alert and reactive. And you were just a human, you… you couldn't be his mate. You couldn't stay here and pretend that wasn't what everyone—including Nerrocan—seemed to want from you. Hell, how would that even work?! He was so big and you were average at best! You two were so different, there was no way he would even fit—

"I-I should go!" you announced, suddenly overrun by your emotions. Somehow, you had managed to spiral yourself back into a state of panic, your heart racing while your head filled with unnecessary ideas. Imagining yourself with Nerrocan… that was simply too much for you. 

"Wait!" Nerrocan called out as you stormed to a smaller part of his body so you could step over him and get to the pool. You didn't need to look back to know he was following you, the cave slightly creaking as he turned over to go after you. You had freaked yourself out enough that you didn't stop. This wasn't the ocean, and you were good enough of a swimmer to get out of the pool on your own. However, your footsteps grew smaller as you got closer to the water. 

Your reaction wasn't fair. Nerrocan had done nothing to you, and yet, you treated him like a pervert just because some scientists wanted you to think about him that way. Mate this or that, but in the first place, he was your savior and fellow sufferer. If anything… he was your friend. He didn't deserve to be treated this way. It was only you who interpreted the things you were afraid of. Nerrocan wasn't at fault.

Taking a deep breath, you turned around, laying your head to the side questioningly, deciding to give it one more go before you chickened out for no apparent reason. "Are you okay?" he asked, shifting slightly from side to side to look you over. Worried, he stared at your body, goosebumps erupting on your skin as your stupid brain imagined him undressing you with his eyes. You told yourself he was just concerned about you, but the icky feeling remained. 

"Your heart was beating very fast. Do you need to rest?"

"Ah, you know…" you stumbled, avoiding eye contact with him. Of course, he heard that. Stupid orca senses! "I'll just get back and take a nap. I'm sure it's going to go away again soon!"

You gave him a curt smile, pointing at the water. But before you could turn even to look at the pool, his big hands reached out, faster than you could register, lifting you up from the ground.

"Woah!" you exclaimed as Nerrocan tugged you in against his chest, twisting his huge body over and facing his bed again before scooting closer. Even this touch wasn't unfamiliar, and neither was the feeling of his skin against your palms and face. But your body only decided to freak out more. What was he going to do? Would he demand his right to mate? Did you delude yourself into honestly thinking Nerrocan wanted you like this? Did you really think he'd be okay without a mate?

With your eyes closed tightly, you only felt yourself lifted off the orca and sat down on the soft bedding again. Once more, you had let the intrusive thoughts take over your critical thinking, and when you slowly blinked open your eyes, you looked straight into Nerrocan's, his gaze filled with concern. One hand supported you on your back as if he was afraid you were going to faint at any second now, while he used the other to cup your face, clearly still looking for wounds he had missed. He would have smelled the blood, of course, but it seemed even his rationality could be thrown out of the proverbial window when it came to you. 

"Do you need food? Water? Are you in pain?"

His questions were so innocent, his voice breaking with worry, making it hard for him to speak clearly. No matter how well he spoke the human language, his instincts were always at the forefront, and those allowed only the orca way of communication, the soothing rumble in his chest being evidence of this. When you didn't immediately answer him, his expression merely darkened as he chortled, trying to coax what you needed out of you. 

"I'm really fine, Nerrocan," you reassure him, much softer than you thought you were able to. Somehow, his concern and efforts to make you comfortable warmed your heart. You were unjust to assume the worst of him, and he had proven to you yet again that he was simply concerned about your well-being. Maybe he was right, and you needed some rest, this situation had already taken its toll on you. 

"Good, okay. Your heart is still beating very fast, what can I do?"

"Maybe… let's just talk?"

"Sure." Nerrocan nods thoughtfully, imitating your gesture while seemingly trying to fulfill your request. "What is that thing you talked about like? That… pillow?"

"Oh!" you exclaimed, delighted to hear him remember. It seemed like such a small matter to talk about, but you were happy that he listened and followed up on what you said. "It's soft and slightly elevated! You can tug it beneath your head so your spine rests evenly, although I know you can't lie on your back, but at least turned to your side?"

You took a moment to think about whether Nerrocan could sleep with a pillow in the first place, something you should have considered much earlier before suggesting it, but now, you just had to go with the flow. However, you didn't notice him shift, laying down flat on his stomach before asking, "Like this?" And suddenly, with no small strain on your thighs, his head fell into your lap, arms reaching up and around your body, keeping it in place.

"Y-Yeah," you mumbled, stunned. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Nerrocan could really understand you and make logical connections. And in moments like this, it was even harder to make yourself believe he didn't do it with some ulterior motives. Not like this was the first time he ever laid his head in your lap, but still, under these circumstances, it made you nervous again. 

Inhaling deeply, you reminded yourself to trust and stay calm, slowly letting your hand fall on top of his head and brushing through his hair. Nerrocan's lips trembled before he gave up his composure and smiled, the rumbling in his chest almost like a purr while he made a few satisfied clicking sounds. 

"Don't get too comfortable, big guy. I'm just taking a quick rest before going back to work!" you joked with him, running both of your hands through his slick hair. As always, it was untangled despite the length, still as beautifully shimmering and glossy as you were used to it. A good sign, you figured, considering his hair had fallen out yet from the stress and procedures. 

Making a sound of disapproval, Nerrocan turned his head forward. His arms tightened around you, and you gave a small, nervous chuckle as you watched him nuzzle his face into and between your thighs. His hold on you got even stronger as you noticed his upper body lifting and staying like this for a moment before sinking, as if he just took a deep breath. Shame ran over you, the wetsuit you wore smelling like water and fish, but who knew what he could smell with his enhanced senses? You washed up this morning, but that was a few hours ago… 

While fearing about your body hygiene, you didn't notice the mischievous glint in Nerrocan's eyes as he watched your expression, his body weight shifting more and more on top of you. It wasn't until you felt yourself losing balance, toppling backward, that you started to struggle against the inevitable, big hands catching you before you could hurt yourself. At the same time, Nerrocan took the chance to scoot up higher, hovering above you when your head fell into the cushioned bed. 

"I've waited a long time for this," Nerrocan mumbled, a guttural sound as his head dipped into the space between your head and shoulder, slick skin against your wetsuit, the tip of his nose dragging down the side of your throat, smelling you again. "For this place to be set up and for you to visit here. It being just us."

"Ne- Nerrocan!" you protested, bracing your hands against his shoulders. It was foolish to think you could lift him off you. Nerrocan's head dipped lower and lower, driving between your collarbones and your breasts, the feeling of his breath pervading even your clothes and tingling over your skin. His hand slid out from beneath you, and you saw your chance of slipping upwards and away. But the second you moved, his palms closed around your sides, holding them firmly in place and tugging you back down again beneath him. 

"Nerrocan, stop!" you said more firmly this time, and he stilled as if snapping out of a trance. 

"Why?" he asked, looking up again. This time, his expression seemed hurt, as if you denying him this was causing him physical pain. 

"We aren't the same species! We can't do this!"

"We can," he replied without hesitation.

"They told me it was possible. That if I prepared you well, you'd be able to take me. It's okay to mate with a human, they said."

"They? Who told you these things?! How would that even work?! Do you even know what that means?!"

Panic raised your voice, and you watched his expression change briefly. Perhaps the sound disturbed him, or he was questioning what either of you knew, but eventually, he simply replied, "The other humans. Those with the white clothes," and it dawned on you. While you thought you had things under control, the other researchers started feeding Nerrocan a very different narrative. One where all of this was normal. One where he could do as his nature demanded. 

And when you didn't react fast enough, nature won over him. 

One hand retracted from the side of your body, reaching down between your legs and settling right against your pussy. You squealed as a bolt of surprised arousal drove through your body, Nerrocan rubbing his dangerously clawed finger up and down your slit. Immediately, you shut your legs around his wrist, but it did nothing to stop him. Instead, it made your pussy grind upwards into the touch, and you bit your lip. 

"It's- It's not right!" you stammered, reaching for his hand. 

"But you smell so good. You came here to mate, claim my cave as yours. That's a sign, right?"

"N-No! I didn't! I never intended to claim this place or you! Stop smelling me!"

"It's tough," Nerrocan admitted, gulping while his finger worked a unique magic on your cunt. He could move his joints much like a wave, teasing your clit at one point and your entrance at the next. Together with the friction of the wetsuit it was a deadly combination. Yet, you didn't want to dwell on it, feeling the treacherous heat spreading through your body. "Every inch of you smells so good, mate."

His head reappeared in front of yours, his massive form crushing as if he was going to swallow whole. Nerrocan's eyes were lidded, dark dots one could get lost in, but as if sniffing wasn't enough, his tongue suddenly slipped out of his mouth, dragging from your jaw to your cheek bone. You'd never taken much note about how long it was until he was licking you, making you feel even more like a delicious snack rather than a respected friend. This was getting out of hand, and you had to do something fast!

"Nerrocan, we can't– Mmpf!"

Not giving you the chance to finish the sentence, Nerrocan slipped his tongue between your open lips, his mouth crashing down on yours while his fingers stopped for a brief moment. He dipped deeply into the kiss, filling you with his tongue and breath, both hot and relentless as they explored every inch of your mouth. Your head was spinning with how much Nerrocan there was and how little of you. But even when you tightened your grip on his shoulders, nails digging into them, he didn't let off, instead picking up the teasing with his finger again, although his movements were rougher now than before. It felt like he was desperate to make you agree with him, however he had to. Perhaps those were his instincts taking over again, forcing him to claim his mate however possible, but it didn't help you at all. 

Shrieking into his mouth was all you could do as his other hand furled inwards, claws snagging at your wetsuit and running over your back. The sting revealed the damage to your skin, yet the fabric ripping was what horrified you. Pulling your head back, you tried to escape, tried to appeal to his reason, but Nerrocan followed every one of your movements with the precision of an instinctual predator. 

All this time, you tried to assure yourself it wouldn't happen. That you two were better than the vulgar things the researchers had told you about. Just because some caretakers had intimate relationships with their protégés didn't mean it had to happen to you two! You thought you were better than this! That you could make it without crossing the line between two species…

You should have listened to your gut telling you to run a few minutes ago.

Because now you were stuck.

The sound of a big chunk of your wetsuit tearing, pulled you out of your spiral of misery. The hand that had fondled you through the fabric slipped into the tear, going straight back between your legs even though you shut them tight. However, your strength was nothing compared to Nerrocan's, and he easily reached his goal with the sheer mass of his palm. 

You wanted to yell at him, insult and tell him how dare he did this to you, but instead of your anger, an unwelcome moan slipped from your tongue over his. Immediately, it was answered by a rumble from his throat. Nerrocan's tongue kept assaulting your mouth, flopping out whenever it became too much to lodge it inside you, all while he was prying open your lower lips, coating his hand in unmistakable arousal. Even though your body's reaction wasn't your fault, you felt ashamed of the squelching and sloppy sounds coming from above as well as below. 

It also made you wonder if Nerrocan knew what he was doing. Because you did, but only to a certain extent, and if you both had no idea, that could be deadly. 

With all your strength left, you finally turned your head, signaling the kiss to stop. Nerrocan was like a truck, speeding through this process as if he had something important to deliver. But at the same time, he was crushing you with his instincts that were driving him wild. It almost seemed too late to stop, but you had to do all you could to tell him how you felt and how this wasn't right. 

"I can't!" you gasped, coughing really hard once his tongue had pulled out completely. "I can't take you! It won't fit! I never… I've never done this before!"

Nerrocan said nothing, the silence stifling. What was he thinking? Did he understand what you meant? Would he stop now? His finger ceased moving, although his palm kept cupping your pussy, completely covered in your slick by now. 

"I am… your first," he finally said, but it didn't sound like a question. "No one's ever touched you before."

Heat rose to your head as he spoke it out so clearly. Hiding your face with your hand, you whispered, "No," hoping this would finally deter him. But when you snuck a peek through the gaps between your fingers, all you saw was a mysterious glint in his eyes, and the next thing you heard was a deep rumble resonating through the whole cave. 

"I'll take such good care of you," Nerrocan said solemnly, his free hand falling to your head and brushing back some of your hair. He kissed the top of your head multiple times, muttering promises like, "You'll lack nothing, my mate," in between kisses. It didn't seem like he had any intentions to stop, you realized, if anything, this had turned him on even more.

"That's not what I meant!" you protested, but he wouldn't listen. His hand between your legs tensed, pressing outward, the fabric giving way quickly and exposing you completely. 

"I'll make you happy, I promise."

"What?! No!"

Panicked, you tried to sit up, only to brace your arm against Nerrocan as he began to move. His weight could crush you, so you had to relent when he rolled onto his chest, hovering above you. Your legs spread outwards to accommodate his tail between them, and Nerrocan crouched a bit higher to line up your hips with his. Still, he was arching his back, keeping his head close to yours. 

Even though you found hold on his body, no amount of strength could push him away. Horrified, you looked down between your legs, watching as the tip of his cock pressed out of the slit on his tail, and before you knew it, the massive shaft emerged completely, already twitching as beads of precum ejected from its tip. 

"That– That's not possible! We can't! I absolutely can't!" 

"You'll do well, mate. I believe in you. I know you can take me, relax."

Lining up his tip to your cunt, more precum bubbled from his cock, the fluids almost as heavy as the air suddenly felt. You'd be fucked to death if he managed to get this monster cock inside you. This was it. This would be the end. And all because you hadn't been more careful, didn't keep your distance like you should have. Trusted him. 

"No, no, no, no…" you mumbled, looking up and giving Nerrocan one last fearful look, which he reciprocated immediately. However, instead of understanding, all you saw was desire in his eyes. Lust, pleasure, want. Nerrocan couldn't be reasoned with, not when he wanted to spear you on his cock and use you as his toy to satisfy his needs. You didn't believe he truly thought of you as a mate. A mate would take care of the other, right? Help them get through these situations that made them anxious and afraid! But he was doing the complete opposite, not even giving you a chance to safe yourself. 

With a pained groan stuck in your throat, you felt his cock move slowly inside you, prying open your walls. The preparations had given him a small chance to penetrate, but your hymen was tearing just from inserting the tip. Nerrocan, too, took a sharp breath, feeling your tightness as he nudged his shaft inside with small pushes, and already, you could take no more. Nerrocan was going to ruin your poor pussy, and take your first time as if it belonged to him. 

"It hurts!" you whined, tears shooting into your eyes as the pain was threatening to overtake you. 

Immediately, the merman sprang into action, leaning down, kissing your forehead and face, chirping encouragingly between his sentences. Every time he pushed, a new praise fell as a reward. "You're doing so good," he muttered as you shrieked, his bulbous tip reaching its biggest point. Worse was yet to come, but it hurt like hell. You knew that in a matter of a few pushes, Nerrocan would take your virginity and your pussy for his own pleasure. There was absolutely nothing you could do, and it made you despair. 

You clung to him desperately, no deep breath helping you relax. "You can do it; look at you taking me," he tried to soothe you, but there was no chance you could do either. You didn't even want to see him getting inside you, much less experience it. But Nerrocan left you no choice as he advanced. With one rough push, he finally breached the abilities of your pussy, and it gave way to him much too easily.

Your back arched, voice getting stuck in your throat, and you blacked out for a short moment as your hymen tore. The pain of his massive cock taking your first time was too much to handle, but after Nerrocan let out a guttural moan, more juices mingling inside you that were probably equal parts yours and his, he pulled his cock out again before jutting it back into the same place and shaking you awake. 

Even though it felt like a nightmare, it was very real and frightening, especially as Nerrocan advanced. 

"That's it," he praised, kissing the top of your head. "You're doing so good, my mate, just a little more."

There were more words, but you could barely register them as you felt your walls spread impossibly wide around his shaft, his cock pulsing and throbbing inside you as if to make more space for itself in a completely cramped place. It still felt impossible, but Nerrocan managed to keep digging inch by inch, spreading and claiming more of your pussy for himself. Nerrocan kept trilling next to you, working his shaft back and forth to ease it inside, and you were stuck between helplessness and feeling your body slowly adjust. The idiotic thought of "maybe I am made for this" came over you as you felt the tears spilling from your eyes, allowing you to realize it wasn't supposed to be like this at all. 

But here you were, betrayed by your only friend in this strange life you were thrown into, allowing him to call you his mate and fuck you with his big, monstrous cock. You had screwed up, that much was sure, and you didn't know if you'd ever recover from it. Especially not when instead of a scream, another moan escaped you, the moment Nerrocan finally had used up all the space inside of you to claim you. 

You sounded so heavenly. 

Not only that but your scent, body, everything about you was perfect. The researcher told me that the moment I got to claim you would be the most wonderful thing I ever experienced in my life. And for once, they weren't lying. You smelled heady, the air around us filling with the scent of your need. A need for me. Finally, you wanted me, too, taking me and uniting us as we should be. This was what mateship was all about, the feeling of belonging together, both body and mind.

It was exhilarating.

Your body wound itself beneath me, squeezing and moving around my cock that I finally filled you with. You said you couldn't take it, but you did. My mate. My perfect, beautiful mate, your eyes dazed and filled with tears as I bucked my hips forward gently. You made the most adorable gurgles, biting your lip, although I would have preferred to hear all of your voice, you really didn't have to hold back. Surely, you, too, must have felt the bliss of our union, the beautiful play of our bodies?

And even more exciting than that, you gave me your first time. Your insides were shaping themselves around my cock, learning to accommodate it despite the tightness. Yet, you did so well taking every inch of me, your beautiful thighs pressing against the sides of my tail, keeping me firmly situated inside you. Our mateship must have been meant to be if you waited for me to come into your life before giving me your new, beautiful pussy to mate. To fill, to breed.

Sinking my hands into your hair, I couldn't help myself from pulling your head back, exposing your throat, the most vulnerable part of your delicious body. The slight smell of blood coming from your cunt only made my cock twitch more, tingling all the senses of a hunter. I wanted to bite you so badly, taste your blood on my tongue, and coat my teeth with it that it hurt. There was way too much of your body still covered, even though we had no need for clothes any longer. I almost felt resentful towards the fabric covering you, denying me the view of the most beautiful treasure of this world—you. 

I had waited too long for this moment to not leave my mark on your body as I should. 

If you were to get lost, anyone should know who you belonged to. Whose fangs they'd have to go against to claim you in the same way I had. As if I'd ever lose a fight when the prize was my mate and the right to keep calling you that. I didn't fight, hunt, and train for so long that just anybody could waltz in and take you from me now. 

"I'll be gentle, I promise" I murmured, driving my lips over your shoulder. It was the perfect place, above your heart, next to your throat. My face fit nicely in the curve between your neck and arm, as if this spot was made for my mark. Perhaps, you were. Made for me, that is. I had never seen someone rouse as many emotions in me as you did or induce this constant, mind-numbing heat that I was acting on now. With your pussy around my cock and my teeth about to sink into your body, I was the closest to you that I ever had been, and there was no place I'd rather be. 

My throat rumbled in contentment, my whole being agreeing with the thought of marking you. Lips splitting, my teeth were ready to punctuate, to clamp down, to tear. But I wouldn't treat you like that. I'd only taste the sweetest prey I had ever encountered. I wouldn't linger, wouldn't hurt you more than necessary. Hurt, it would, so I fastened the pace of my hips, distracting you with the added friction until you were whining softly with every push. It was adorable when one of your hands clung to my arm, digging your puny little nails into it. But I hoped it would scar. That you'd mark me just like I would, you. 

Which gave me the idea to cup your face, prying your mouth open by pushing a finger between your blunt teeth. The damage would be small compared to mine, but it was only right you got the same chance as I did. With all the preparations done, it was time to claim you. I knew it was meant to be, and yet, I hesitated because of the thought of hurting you. But I had to believe in myself. I knew I'd never cause you great harm. I could control the urges and stop when it was necessary. You and I had been through worse together; we'd also get through the stages of mating. 

At least, mating was more pleasurable. 

"Shh, it's okay, I'll be gentle," I repeated softly, hearing how your breathing turned unnaturally fast after seeing my teeth. A shudder went through you, and I couldn't help groaning as I felt it around my cock, too. Your voice grew louder, vibrating against my finger, but I gave it no heed. Resting my lips on your body, I took one more deep breath, soaking in the scent of your body, your arousal, the tinge of blood I had smelled before. 

Delicious. 

And with that, my teeth opened, sinking deep into your flesh. The fabric covering you was no more a hindrance than uncovered skin, giving no resistance. But my tongue immediately went to lap up the droplets of blood that formed around my teeth, a strong, desirable taste filling my mouth. Together with the smell of your body they completely fogged my mind, my hips snapping forward harder as your cunt tightened around my cock, reluctant to let me go. 

Was this it? The sign that you were cumming? Would I be the first orca to take and claim his human mate in every aspect? A guttural groan resonated through my body, my pace growing harder. I knew it instinctively, it was a mating call. We were now bound to each other. There was no more space to stuff my cock into, but I still hadn't had enough. Gripping one of your beautiful thick thighs in my hand, the flesh so soft and pliable in my grasp, I adjusted our position and brought us even closer together. Our size difference was but a small obstacle when it came to mating, and I was determined to make up for it with my strength and skill. 

I had barely heard the first scream you let out when I bit you, much less the beautiful symphony of moans and cries that my finger muffled. Blood coating my tongue, my lips, my throat, I felt my cock swell inside you, the feeling eliciting another shriek against my finger. However, this time, I did notice it. You were biting down so hard as if your life depended on it. It was a cute effort, considering you barely broke through my skin, much less tore junks out of it like I wanted. I could feel your heartbeat in my mouth as it wouldn't stop hammering in your chest, and your pussy held on tight to my cock as I lodged it as deep as possible inside you.

I was going to fill you up to the brim. As much as your little human body could hold of my seed, I'd give to you and then some. Everything was perfect, the sound of your voice, the beating of your heart. The taste of your blood on my lips and the tightness of your cunt as I made the last few pushes towards my release. They promised everything would turn out well, but no one could have prepared me for how wonderful it was to finally be with you. 

Roaring wildly into your shoulder, my cock exploded. Little stars clouded my vision as I felt your body spasm beneath me, trying to adjust to the amounts of seed I was pumping in you. A small part hoped it would take root inside you. Would make you round and full with our calves, and I got to care for you throughout the whole pregnancy. Even if this was our first time, I couldn't help but want to breed you to the point you'd be unable to walk on your own anymore. I wanted you to depend on me, lean on me, letting me do everything for you while you created our beautiful little babies. The product of our love for each other. We'd be a perfect little family; nothing could take this from me. 

We'd have to wait and see, but I couldn't wait for the day to come. 

As fast as it had happened, it was over. My cock was still splurting more cum inside you, but you laid limply beneath me, your own orgasm having taken all your energy out of you. I unlocked my jaw as slowly as possible. However, it made a slight jerk despite my best efforts. But my teeth were finally pulling out of your flesh, leaving only the beautiful marks of our mateship behind, bleeding and sullying the bed, which I more than welcomed. 

You groaned, and I finally pried my finger out of your mouth so I could listen to the sound. Your eyes were unfocused and dull. The intensity must have taken a toll on your strength, but you were no less beautiful, your belly swollen with my seed, and your body marked and satisfied. 

"You did so well," I purred, giving you small chirps to ensure you'd understand my sincerity. Not everyone could have done so well, but my mate. My mate could. You were beautiful, perfect. Made for me, for our family. I had regretted it many times to have brought you to this place, but just as often did I think it had been the right choice. Now, we were inseparable, and I felt more validated in my choice. 

Slowly, I pulled back my cock, your pussy making it hard to exit with how much it clung to me. All while cooing and kissing your face and your body. Already, I felt myself grow hard again, my cock barely able to retract into its slit with how massive it still was. There were still so many things I wanted to do with you. The thoughts of marking other places like your breasts and those delicious thighs were driving me insane with their allure, but I stayed strong for you.

It's what we did for the people we loved, and right now, you just needed me to hold you as your body tried to come down from the height and adore you like I always did. The humans called it "aftercare," and I listened closely to their tips, although I couldn't bring myself to fetch some food and water for you yet. Not when you were curled so adorably in my arms, my hand on your swollen belly, making it easy to imagine what it would be like if you were carrying our little pup inside you. I did feel spent, ready to take a long nap by your side, but not before I made sure you were settled in comfortably, your eyes still wide open as you lay limply on my bed. 

Even if this was only the first time, it had made it all worth it. All the pain and suffering, all the fear and traumatic experiences. The fights, the humiliation. Now that I had you by my side, able to call you my mate completely without any doubts, it had been worth the troubles. It would be worth anything that may come in the future as long as I got to hold you again like this, fill you with my seed, and forget everything else that was happening around us. It had taken so long until we finally got this space we could call our own. Decorate, be together in, share love. This was where only we existed, and I couldn't wait to see what we'd do with it in the future, but I knew it would be great. 

And no one would get in the way of our happiness, even if you still had doubts.

You let out a quiet shudder, feeling Nerrocan's hand combing through your curls, ruined and messy from what had just happened. It still felt like you were waking up from a nightmare, but the pain had always been there. Both your shoulder and your pussy hurt. You felt the semen run down your lower lips and coat your thighs. Every time Nerrocan rubbed over your belly, another spurt of his jizz shot from your hole, and you felt degraded and disgusted with the feeling of semen sloshing in your womb. It wasn't possible to get pregnant, right? Was it? They were half human-like… that didn't mean you two were compatible, right? 

Tears filled your eyes as you couldn't help sobbing out loud. The bitten shoulder had no strength to pull up your arm so you could muffle yourself and the other was almost as dead still from the shock. Even though it hurt, even though you didn't want it, eventually, pleasure caught up to you, making you cum on his huge, massive cock as if you wanted it. It had felt good every time the pain vanished. And even now, Nerrocan was purring and chortling, soothing the pain in your soul even though he had torn it apart. 

You'd never be able to trust him again. To work with him even. You'd have to find a new purpose in this facility, but something inside you told you they wouldn't let you. This would be your new life, and you'd have to adjust to it to survive. It was unfair. Painful. You wanted to hate him, yet you still couldn't because of all you two had been through and all he continued to do for you. And although it wasn't right and should have never happened—not like this, at least—you could also understand him to a degree that it was the comfort Nerrocan needed, even if he made it seem like you did, too. 

"We're going to have such beautiful calves. You'll be such a good mommy," he praised you, and you sobbed out loud again, taking a deep, unbelieving breath. This couldn't be real, it was just too cruel. 

Nerrocan kissed your forehead, cradling your back further against his chest, his cock having slipped back into the slit, and you were thanking any god that was listening for that. You couldn't take any more fucking than that, and you'd never come down into his nest again and indulge him like you had that day. He had already ruined to much, destroyed your body and the relationship you two had. 

Moving you only made you feel more of the cum spurting from your pussy, coating you both as you whimpered, and Nerrocan trilled excitedly. "We're going to make so many babies!" he announced, and you wept, the image alone too hard to handle. 

"You did so well, today, my mate. I can't wait for the next time," he whispered into your ear, kissing your temple all the way down to your jaw. Every bit of adoration, praise, and intimacy appalled you, and you turned your face away, wanting to grieve your innocence and stupidity as you swore to never allow a repeat of what happened. 

"I'm not your mate," you slurred as the exhaustion hit you hard. Even in this situation, dangerous as it was, your body still felt safe enough around Nerrocan to sleep. Traitor, you thought as your eyes closed. 

"Yes, you are," he replied softly, noticing your drowsiness as he placed an arm beneath your head, cushioning it. Ironic, wasn't it? Luckily, you were already asleep when he spoke up again, able to preserve the last bits of your sanity from being lost forever.

"I'll do everything to change your mind."

[revelboo]

I hate to always be asking for things, but is there any chance we could get some more Steve

Sure!

Coin Operated Boy Pt 4

Vehicons x Reader

• Dragging into the kitchen in a tank top and shorts, you get coffee going and nearly scream when a shadow falls across the window. And it’s your alien friend, his head tilted as he stares in at you and reaches to tap against the window. Heart racing, you lift a nervous hand and he eases back slightly. Why is he back? Nervous, you toe on your sneakers and step outside. Hesitating when you see Steve’s brought friends. There’s two more of them, crouching to stare at you. “Hi? You look better,” you manage, fighting the urge to turn and run for the door.

• Aware of his cloned brothers studying you with bemused curiosity, he offers you an energon goodie and you just stare at it, then him. Bending to offer you the rare treat, when just getting rations to begin with is never a sure thing, he needs you to be repaid for your kindness and knows this isn’t nearly enough. Vehicons are the lowest in the Decepticon hierarchy. Expendable. Often forgotten. “For you,” he insists, and you finally reach to take it, but don’t try it. Saving it for later, maybe, but he’s pleased anyway even if he’d wanted you to eat from his hand. To trust him as a protector.

• Hugging the glowing thing to your body, you offer him a smile. Have no idea what it is, but you don’t want to offend him or risk hurting his feelings. “Thank you so much. It’s… lovely.” And you really hope the glow isn’t radioactivity. “And you brought friends.” Watching him glance at the other two, like he’d forgotten they were there for a moment, you fidget. “Hi.” Waggling your fingers at the two newcomers they exchange a look and one hesitantly waves back.

• Venting as B3N waves at you and N31L just shakes his head like he can’t believe he’d given you the rare treat, Steve kneels so he’s not looming over you. Except, you’re so small, he still is. Short of lying flat on the ground, he’s going to be looking down at you and it bothers him. “For your assistance,” he says, reaching out a hand, hesitating and extending a servo. Staring up at him, you tuck the treat against your hip and cautiously lay a soft hard on his servo and he bends forward until he can brush his masked face against the back of your hand. Needing you to understand that no one cares about Vehicons. No one mourns them, tries too hard to save them when they’re wounded. You’re not even Cybertronian, though and you’d seen him. Cared. For that he owes you. For that, he’ll protect and watch over you. And his brothers reach out, extending you the same honor.

• Going still as the other two edge closer and each brush a servo against you, you try to figure out what’s happening. There’s almost a reverence in the gentle way they’re touching you that makes you nervous. Maybe this is just how they thank someone? A weird, alien cultural thing? All three of them touching you before drawing back. Transforming into vehicles to startle you and just driving away. Leaving you standing in the dew soaked grass with a glowing mystery object and more questions than answers. And you wonder if they’ll come back.

Previous

[edamameimei]

it's us against the world

"i'd thank my lucky stars but it's tearing me apart 'cause you don't see us like i do, you don't see us from my view."

pairing: daniela avanzini x reader!7th member

synopsis: the question that everyone always asks daniela is when she's going to tell you how she feels. but no one understands. it's a risk she isn't willing to take, especially if it means losing you and everything you two have built with each other over the past two years.

fluff, might get angsty here and there but mainly fluff :) cw: swearing, kissing

a/n: just want to put out there that this is not a REAL portrayal of the people mentioned in this fic. all events are fictional and are for entertainment purposes only.

wc: 5186

now playing: i do - renee rapp

Daniela realizes she has feelings for you when she’s 19 years old. 

“Do you know what time it is?” 

Daniela looks at you, her cheek pressed against her knees. She has her legs pulled up to her chest, hugging them in an attempt to keep them warm from the cold breeze. She sits with you on a blanket on the beach. After a long and tiring day of training, she lit up at your idea of sitting by the ocean for a few hours. She ignored your warnings to wear sweatpants and opted to wear your hoodie and shorts for the outing. But as you give her a knowing smirk, Daniela silently regrets her choices. She shrugs in response to your question, shivering slightly due to the wind picking up. You scoot closer to her, taking off your flannel. She picks her head up, opening her mouth to protest but you’re already draping the material over her legs. You pat her knees playfully, wrapping an arm around her shoulder to provide her more warmth. Daniela leans into your touch, resting her head against your shoulder and closes her eyes. 

“Don’t say anything smart.” She says, hugging your arm tightly. You hum in response, letting out a soft chuckle. You grab her hand, lacing your fingers together. You whisper, teasingly, “I wasn’t gonna say anything.” Daniela pulls away slightly and scoffs. She jabs a finger into your side and it causes you to bite your lip, trying to contain your squeal. She does it again, and again, wanting to annoy you but you won’t let her win. You grab her wrists, pulling her closer to you. She laughs loudly as you wrap your arms around her, picking her up effortlessly. She ends up being the one squealing as you run toward the water.

“Y/n L/n! You BETTER not!” Your laughter rings in her ears and she wonders if this is what poets mean when they write about love. And she wonders if you feel the same way. 

On your days off from training and development, Daniela takes it as an opportunity to simply relax. 

She sits cross-legged on her bed, glasses perched on her nose, reading the newest book you got her from the bookstore. She plays with the string of yet another hoodie she stole from you, her brows furrowed as she becomes entranced by the story in front of her. She is about to turn the page but is pulled out of her thoughts when she hears a loud snore beside her. Daniela turns her head, glaring at your sleeping form. You’re curled up on her bed, phone still in your hand. You must have fallen asleep at one point while you were scrolling through TikTok. She notices your glasses have become askew and your mouth hangs open slightly. Your free arm hugs a plushie you brought from your dorm close to your chest and makes Daniela’s glare soften. 

She reaches out, slowly taking your glasses off your face and places them on the nightstand. She grabs your phone and plugs it into her charger. She takes another look at you, admiring how pretty you looked even when you were peacefully snoring. Daniela threads her fingers through your hair, her book long forgotten as she looks at you. From across the room, Manon clears her throat loudly and Daniela looks up at her with wide eyes. She forgot her roommate was still in the room. Manon looks at Daniela with a teasing glint in her eyes and smirks. “I took a picture of you two, I can send it if you want.” The Latina rolls her eyes in response, retracting her hand from your hair. She looks down at her lap, her cheeks burning. She mumbles, “Yeah, can I have it?” Manon laughs, cackling as she grabs her phone to send Daniela the pictures. She doesn’t look up when she asks her next question. “Are you gonna tell them?” Daniela glances at you again, checking to see if you were still asleep. Your soft snores answer her question and it makes the Latina smile. “One day. We’ll see.” 

You pout as you look at yourself in the mirror, hands on your hips, breathing heavily. You once again made a mistake in the choreography and it’s starting to piss you off. At this point in Dream Academy, you knew there wasn’t any room for less than perfect. There were seven spots to fill and you were determined to be one of them, even if it was the last and only spot. You take a deep breath, preparing to do the routine once more. As you are about to restart the music, you feel a tug on your arm. You look at Daniela, a small frown on your lips. She knows how hard you’ve been working– she thinks you’re the hardest worker out of everyone. There were nights where Daniela would watch you trudge tiredly to your dorm at 3 AM. There are moments in practice when she’d notice a slight limp in your leg. The Latina often worries about you and you have repeatedly told her that everything is fine. 

But Daniela would be damned if she didn’t debut with you. 

She places her hands on your hips, looking at you softly. Worry radiates off of her and you place your hands on her shoulders, squeezing them gently. You tilt your head, putting on a playful smile. But she sees right through your facade. She knows you too damn well but the least you could do is try to put up a front. Daniela keeps her eyes on you and whispers, “We’re in this together, remember?” You nod slowly in response, but the look in your eyes tells her otherwise. She knows you’re struggling and she is determined to help you no matter what. Daniela pulls away from you, taking a step back. She twirls her finger and points toward the mirror. “Come on, I’m gonna show you.” You raise a curious eyebrow at her, letting out a soft chuckle, “Daniela, come on–” She points toward the mirror again, a fierce look in her eyes. “Y/n so help me God! Turn your ass around so we can figure this shit out together!” 

You raise your hands in defense, immediately turning around to face the mirror. She huffs in relief, stepping forward again. She places her hands on your hips and pulls you flush against her. Daniela rests her chin on your shoulder, looking into the mirror. She feels her cheeks begin to burn and she can’t help but feel frozen in place. You weren’t even doing anything, yet it was driving the Latina insane. She planned to guide you, to show you how the choreography goes. But her thoughts run wild, especially when she spots you smirking at her through the mirror. “What?” She whispers, her hands on your hips tightening. 

You shake your head, shrugging your shoulders as you look at Daniela’s reflection. “Sorry. I’ve never had a hot Latina this close to me… I was getting nervous.” Your comment causes her to scoff loudly, pushing you. She walks away, her head down to hide the blush painting her entire face. She feels hot all over and she can’t help but feel annoyed with your presence at the moment. You walk over to her, your eyes wide. 

“Wait, Dani! I still need your help! Dani!” Why she has such a huge crush on you? She isn't sure. But the way you wrap your arms around her waist and hold her close. The way you look at her as if she were the most important person in your life– she knows it just makes sense to fall in love with you.

Daniela sits with you on the floor of her shared dorm with Manon, shoulders touching and shaking with laughter as you finish telling her an embarrassing story from high school. She wipes her eyes, shaking her head at you. You talked about when you tried asking out a girl you were convinced you were in love with back then. However, it ended in disaster with you not getting the girl and instead got a broken arm. The Latina looks at you with a playful smile, her eyes twinkling with happiness. Over the past year, you have become her favorite person. Daniela loves everything about you. It has come to the point where seeing you has become the highlight of her entire day. 

Daniela loves how you light up an entire room with just your smile. She loves how you work so hard, yet take the time to make sure everyone else is doing okay. She loves the softer side of you, the part of you coaches and judges don’t get to see. Everyone knows how confident you are, but Daniela is the only one that knows what lengths it took you to get to that point. She takes pride in being your best friend, the person you completely rely on. And it scares her shitless when she realizes that could be all over tomorrow during the live show. Her face falls when she thinks about it, the twinkle in her eye dimming slightly. Like always, you notice. Of course you do. You cup her cheek and smile softly, your thumb caressing her face gently. “What’s up?” You ask quietly. The Latina bites her lip, suddenly feeling very vulnerable in front of you. 

She doesn’t quite know what to say. She sits there, looking at you with an unreadable expression. You’re about to ask her again but she raises her pinky, her lip quivering slightly. “Promise we’ll stay just like this after tomorrow. No matter what happens.” You open your mouth to respond but she covers it with her hand, a serious look in her eyes. “Do not make a stupid fucking joke right now, Y/n. I am being dead serious.” Your eyes widen, saying a muffled, ‘I wasn’t!’ behind her hand. She slowly retracts it, eyeing you suspiciously before bringing her pinky back up. You roll your eyes before linking your pinky with hers, bringing it to your lips and kissing it softly. You never break eye contact with her, keeping your gaze on her as you whisper, “I promise I’m not going anywhere,” You tilt your head, a sincerity in your eyes as you continue, “We’re gonna stay just like this even after what happens tomorrow.” 

Daniela lets out a sigh of relief. She brings your pinky to her lips, copying your actions from earlier and kisses it gently. She giggles when you pull her into your arms, hugging her tightly. 

Another thing about you that Daniela loves is that you never break a promise. 

She squeals excitedly as you spin her around in your arms, happiness spreading throughout both your bodies. She holds onto you tightly, smiling widely because you’re debuting. Not only that, you’re debuting together. When you finally put her down, you don’t let go of each other. While everyone else celebrates, you only look at each other. It’s as if this world was made solely just for the two of you. You look at Daniela with a teasing smile, “I guess you’re stuck with me.” The Latina pulls you into another hug. She leans close to your ear and whispers, “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

It was one thing to live in the dorms with you. But now a whole house? Daniela finds it harder to hide her feelings from you. 

After you and the other six girls competed against each other for the solo room in the house, completing task after task for the sake of Katseye content, you came out victorious in the end while the others had to share their space. You sit next to Yoonchae, watching in amusement as Daniela and Manon try to argue with Megan and Lara about the rules. You glance at Sophia, who gives you a knowing look back. 

“That’s the POINT of the GAME!” Megan shouts at the two girls standing, the game becoming more intense as it continues. Daniela looks at you, her eyes pleading. “Y/n! Give us some back up!” You widen your eyes, immediately shaking your head. You raise your hands in distress. “No, no. Don’t put me in this argument–” Lara cuts you off, raising a finger, “This isn’t an argument, we’re just clarifying the rules.” Megan peeks out from behind her, pointing a finger at you, “No! Are you kidding me? We’re asking Y/n? They’ll just take Daniela’s side– They always do this!” You sit up from the couch, leaning forward to argue her point. Suddenly, you and Megan begin bickering back and forth, forgetting the entire game. 

“Name one time I took Dani’s side!” You sit back on the couch, crossing your arms playfully. You look at the camera with a faux serious expression, “I’ll wait.” Megan begins her list, starting from the very beginning of training and development. You keep your eyes on the camera as she continues, but it has become very obvious that you have lost your argument. Your serious expression begins to crumble as Daniela comes into frame. She sits on your lap, wrapping her arms around your neck. She leans in close to you and pouts, tilting her head to add to her puppy dog expression. “Y/n… Please just say me and Manon get the point…” 

You keep your expression deadpan at the camera. “That did not look like the Olympics to me. I don’t even know what the fu- freak you were doing.” Daniela pushes off of you, stomping away from the camera as everyone erupts in laughter. Yoonchae sits on the couch, her ears covered as Sophia covers her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. Daniela looks at you with a frown, but she knows you won’t take it seriously. She knows you’re just as happy as she is. You look at her, throwing a wink in her direction and it causes her to roll her eyes, biting her lip to contain her smile. 

“You know I love you, right?” You yell at her and she flips you off, the action not caught on camera. 

But she loves you too. She loves you in more ways than you would ever know. And it tears her apart every time she remembers that you don’t.

Daniela opens the door to your room, not even bothering to knock. She walks inside and flops onto your bed, sticking her tongue at you when you glance at her with an annoyed expression. You were songwriting at your desk before she came in and you were somewhat in the zone. But of course, Daniela had to make herself comfortable in your room. She does this often, going into your room unannounced. She did this at the dorms and has now found her routine doing it at the house. But Daniela knows you don’t mind. She knows you would have already set that boundary by now. She rolls onto her stomach, propping herself up with her elbows and rests her chin against her palms. “Do you wanna get dinner with me?” She hears you snicker at her question.

“Are you asking me on a date?” Daniela freezes for a moment. She looks away from you, suddenly feeling shy. That was not what she was doing and she knew you were just joking, but she couldn’t help but feel a slight aching in her chest. She wants more than anything for it to be a date, for something more with you. But she hasn’t found the courage to cross that line with you. And she isn’t sure if you felt the same way. Sure, you two were always together, always needing to be touching, maybe even making flirtatious comments toward one another. But something Daniela has come to realize about you is that you are always like that. The Latina doesn’t want to admit it, but it irks her whenever you flirt with the other members. She can’t help but stare when you’re sitting in someone else’s lap or when you kiss their cheek after they’ve done something for you. 

She hates it even more when you’re like that with Eyekons and she doesn’t know why. 

It has become one of your bits lately to flirt with the fans. Whether that be through the Weverse DMs or lives, you never fail to make Eyekons go crazy with your outrageous comments. She remembers one time when you told an Eyekon to their face how they were exactly your type. It took everything in Daniela to not lose her shit on the spot. The way the fan giggled at your words, the way they hugged you so tightly afterwards. Daniela wanted to pull you away and show you exactly who your type was. But the Latina wouldn’t know that information. She would like to imagine she was everything you could ever want in a girlfriend. 

But here she was, feeling shy over the fact you suggested that she was asking you on a date. 

In Daniela fashion though, she clicks her tongue, getting off your bed. She walks toward you, pulling you out of your chair by your hoodie. You stumble slightly as Daniela pulls you onto your feet and drags you out of your room. You were smart enough to not fight her, and you were even smarter to grab her keys for her before being manhandled out the door. If you were going anywhere with Daniela, she prefers to be the one driving. 

“Mami, can you take a picture of me?” Daniela looks up from her phone, ignoring the way her breath hitched when she heard what you called her. You and Daniela were currently in one of the practice rooms together, planning for the upcoming MAMA performance. You two had been bouncing ideas off of each other, building the choreography. They were just ideas of course, but you two couldn’t contain your excitement. After everything you both went through together, you now had the opportunity to truly showcase your skills as performers. At MAMA, of all events. Every time Daniela watched you during practice, she would swell up with pride. You have grown into yourself, becoming much more self-assured. She remembers how insecure you were in the beginning of your journey, afraid of what everyone would think of you. 

Now, everyone loved you. And you knew that. 

Daniela stands up, stretching. You and her had been taking a break for a few minutes after practicing for so long. You hand her your phone and she pulls up the camera app, pointing it toward you. She couldn’t help the way her eyes widened when you pulled your shirt off, revealing you only in your sports bra. Her mouth goes dry and she tries to play it cool but she can’t deny how mesmerizing you are. You were currently wearing a pair of baggy black jeans and the band of your Kleins poke out just enough for everyone’s imagination. Daniela watches as you adjust them slightly, your stomach flexing as you do so. The Latina takes a quick picture, knowing you’d appreciate the candid moment. 

(Also, to send to herself, she admits). 

You look up at the camera, unaware of how Daniela blatantly checks you out from behind your phone. For your first pose, you decide to cross your arms over your chest, smirking at the camera. “How’s this?” You ask and Daniela just nods, giving you a thumbs up. “You look hot, baby.” You chuckle, satisfied. She takes a few pictures of you, all from different angles. Daniela directs your poses, telling you which ones to do and what kind of expression to give the camera. Throughout the photography session, Daniela couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. She thought being around you during Dream Academy was difficult. But now being in the same group as you? This was her own personal hell. And the fact you were going to post these photos for Eyekons to see and thirst over? It makes the girl’s eye twitch at the thought. 

After a few more photos, and you picked the ones you’d share, you two begin practicing again. Daniela notices how you don’t put your shirt back on once you both get back on track. 

Daniela Avanzini never makes a mistake. But boy, was she slipping up for the rest of the night. 

It’s a random Tuesday when Manon randomly decides to ask Daniela the question that has been on everyone’s mind for two years. 

“Is one day soon? Or are you guys gonna keep having this weird homoerotic friendship for the rest of our lives?” Daniela looks away from her vanity and glares at Manon. “Why would you say that?” The Ghanaian girl rolls her eyes, throwing a pillow at Daniela from across the room. Daniela manages to swat it away, looking back at the mirror to finish her make-up. “Manon! I was literally in the middle of doing my eyebrows.” She hears Manon sigh loudly in response. “Dani… Babe,” Manon looks at the Latina with an exasperated look as she continues, “You’ve been in love with them since you were 19. You’re turning 21 in like, four months.” Daniela continues to ignore her, leaning in closer to her mirror to do finishing touches on her make-up. Manon gets up from her bed and walks over to Daniela. She crosses her arms, looking at the other girl with a disapproving look. “What’s the hold up?” 

Daniela shrugs, still not looking away from the mirror. “I’m not ruining our friendship.” It’s a simple response, but it holds a lot more weight than she wants to lead on. Daniela knows better than anyone else how long it has been and she knows it's been a secret for far too long. But to risk losing the best thing that has ever happened to her? She’d rather die. Manon sits on Daniela’s bed, frowning. “Dani, that’s literally not gonna happen. I bet all of the money on our next paycheck that Y/n feels the same way,” She leans closer, whispering playfully, “And I heard the next one is a good one.” Daniela scoffs, placing the cap back onto her lipstick. She sets it down and looks at herself in the mirror one last time. She finds herself lost in thought for a moment as she thinks about the possibility of you loving her back. 

She thinks about holding your hand in public, going on dates with you, being able to call you hers officially. 

The sound of the door opening brings her out of her daydream. Daniela snaps her head toward the sound and sees you standing at the doorway. You’re dressed nicely, hands in your pocket, as you look at Daniela with a gentle smile. “Ready to go, Mami?” Manon turns her head back to look at Daniela with a raised eyebrow. She whispers, “This whole time you were getting ready just to hang out with Y/n? You’re joking.” Daniela glares at her roommate, standing up from her vanity and walks over to you, pretending the conversation that was happening previously never happened. She holds onto your arm and you two begin making your way toward the front door. Before you leave, you hear Manon shout, “Have fun on your date!” 

You look at Daniela with a teasing smile. “Is this a date?” Daniela pushes you in response, covering her face in embarrassment as you lead her to your car. 

Daniela lies in bed one night, watching your live that you randomly decided to do. You had asked the Latina if she would like to join, but if she were being honest, she was quite tired of hiding her new hair from Eyekons. The TikToks were fun, but it was becoming such a hassle trying to hide her hair in her beanie. And by the time you asked her, she was already cozy in bed with her glasses on. She giggles softly at something you say during the live, her smile getting wider as she watches you continue awkwardly telling a story to the Eyekons about something that happened today.

The Latina has come to the conclusion that she is undeniably in love with you. And she isn’t sure how long she can keep up with her secret. 

Watching you grow into the person you are now, the person on the screen, has made Daniela realize just how amazing you are. At first, when she first started to realize her feelings for you, she thought it was a fleeting feeling. If she ignored it long enough, it would go away eventually. However, the more she tried ignoring it, the more she fell for you. With every silly smile you threw her, every quip and joke, your charming personality, it only drew the Latina closer to you. Even as two years came and went, the relationship between you and Daniela never changed. You promised and it was a promise you upheld with every fibre of your being. And Daniela is grateful that you are still the same person she met all those years before. 

She continues watching you, adoration clear in her eyes. At some point, the topic of conversation shifted and you began talking about relationships you’ve had in the past. It makes Daniela grimace slightly but she tries to remind herself that it was only the past. Meaning, they no longer exist in your life. She watches as you nervously rub the back of your neck when you talk about the people you were with in high school. Suddenly, you lean in closer to the screen, a comment obviously catching your eye. You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Daniela furrows her brow, curious as to what you read. 

“If you could date anyone in the group, who would it be? Um… Dani, for sure,” Your words hit the Latina. Her heart begins to beat out of her chest as she continues listening to you, “But, I’m pretty sure I’m not her type though so… That’s kind of disappointing.” You laugh again, but Daniela notices a shift in your mood. The way your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Your face falls slightly but you quickly read another comment as if to hide what you’re truly feeling. It makes Daniela’s head spin and before she can stop herself, she hops out of bed and runs out of the room. 

You’re replying to more comments when you hear a banging on your door. You jump slightly at the unexpected interruption, turning around in your seat. You look back at the camera with a sheepish smile. “Hold on, pardon the interruption, chat.” You get up from the chair, walking to the door. When you open it, you smile happily when you see your best friend. However, your smile falters when you notice the Latina slightly in distress. You whisper, “Are you okay? I can end the live…” Daniela only nods in response, biting her lip. You quickly turn around, running toward the camera with an apologetic look in your eyes. “Sorry guys, duty calls. We’ll talk soon, okay?” You wave goodbye, ending the live. You turn toward the Latina with a worried expression. 

“Dani? Are you–” She cuts you off, grabbing your face. She presses her lips against yours forcefully, but softly at the same time. The way she kisses you is almost desperate, as if she had been waiting to do it for a very long time. But you immediately respond, placing your hands on her hips because this was exactly what you’ve been waiting for. You pull her closer, your hands reaching up to thread into her hair. She lets out a soft sigh and it drives you even crazier. Her lips move against yours in a rhythm that makes you believe you were meant to be right here, with her. She pulls away for a moment, catching her breath. When you open your eyes, you see a slight daze in her eyes and it makes your heart beat rapidly. “What was that for?” You ask, breathless, a smile playing at your lips as you hear her giggle. 

Daniela cups your cheeks with her hands and looks at you lovingly. She bites her lip, “I do…” She lets out a soft chuckle, looking down at the ground for a brief second before looking back up at you with the same loving stare. “I mean– you are. Exactly my type. Literally everything I could want in a partner so…” You tilt your head, your grin growing bigger. “So?” Daniela kisses you again. This time, it was much more gentle. Her hands move from your cheeks to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer. Two years is a long time, but it was so worth the wait. 

You’re playing a game with Yoonchae when Daniela walks into the room, throwing her phone at you. 

Your eyes widen, wincing when it hits your chest. Yoonchae glances at Daniela, noticing the agitated look in her eyes. She takes it as her cue to leave, pausing the game. She leans toward you and whispers, “I think you’re cooked.” You look at Yoonchae, confused. The Korean girl only stands up from the couch, making a beeline out of the room. Daniela continues looking at you, slightly annoyed. You extend your arms out to her, gesturing for her to come and hug you. “What’s up, Mami?” Daniela ignores your arms and points at you, her expression becoming more serious. “Keep flirting with Eyekons over Weverse. See what happens.” Your mouth gapes open in realization, then suddenly, you begin to laugh. 

Daniela was jealous over your messages on Weverse? 

Your laughter subsides when you notice Daniela not laughing with you and instead, her expression is even deadlier, if that was even possible. You grab her phone, unlocking it to see the damage you made on Weverse. You had to admit– these were pretty bad. You stand up from the couch, handing the phone back to your girlfriend. You pout, “No more flirting.” Daniela nods, crossing her arms. She murmurs something under her breath but it was too quiet for you to hear. You frown, pulling her into your arms. She keeps her arms crossed as you whisper into her ear, “What was that, baby?” She sighs, resting her head on your shoulder. She whispers back, “People need to know you’re mine.” You chuckle softly, holding her closer. You kiss the top of her head. “I think I can figure something out. You know, without getting in trouble with the boss.” You feel her laugh in your arms and she uncrosses her arms, hugging you back. 

You: dany/n truthers 

You: are yall in the building? 

You: the superior ship so true 

You: im lowk a simp for her but that stays between us 

Dani: what did y/n say in their dms?

Dani: we’re the superior ship LMAOOO

Dani: they wish <3

a/n: do you guys get nervous every time i post a new fic bc u think ill break ur heart? i promise im not that mean LOL i hope u guys enjoyed, lmk what u think. fluff bc ive been feelin pretty good lately. <3

requests are open

[wendichester]

ok you write some teen dean but I wanna see teen sam x reader please and thank you :3

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ assignments & study sess,

summary. you run into sam at the school's library

pairing. teen!sam winchester x reader

wordcount. 539

notes. honestly, whenever i think of sam is almost stanford and onwards, but this turned out cuter than expected ehe thank you for requesting bubs 😙🩷

Sam has noticed you before. It’s hard not to.

You’re in a couple of his classes, always sitting near the window, twirling your pencil between your fingers when you’re lost in thought. You don’t talk much, at least not like the loud kids who take up all the space in a room, but when you do—when you answer a question in English or crack a joke to your friend—Sam always finds himself listening a little too closely.

He’s never had the nerve to talk to you, though. His family moves too much for him to bother making friends, and besides, you probably don’t even know who he is.

At least, that’s what he thinks—until today.

The library is quiet, except for the occasional rustle of pages and the soft hum of the overhead lights. Sam’s hunched over his history textbook at one of the back tables, trying to focus, but his brain feels like it’s made of static. He’s got an essay due in two days, and all he’s managed to do so far is reread the same sentence ten times.

And then—

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

He freezes.

Because that’s your voice.

Sam looks up so fast he nearly knocks over his coffee. And there you are, standing right across from him, your bag slung over one shoulder, a hopeful tilt to your lips.

For a second, all he can do is stare.

“No,” he blurts, a little too quickly. He clears his throat, willing himself to not sound like a complete idiot. “Uh, yeah. I mean—go ahead.”

You smile, sliding into the seat across from him, and Sam swears his heart actually stumbles over itself.

“Thanks,” you say, pulling out your notebook. “It’s weirdly packed in here today.”

Sam glances around. There are maybe five other people in the entire library.

He looks back at you, and you’re watching him with a tiny, knowing smirk. Oh.

You did that on purpose.

Sam swallows, trying to fight the warmth creeping up his neck. “Yeah. Super crowded.”

You grin, setting your stuff down. “I’ve seen you around,” you say casually, flipping open your book. “You’re, like, crazy smart, right? You always get the highest scores in English.”

He blinks. “You—you’ve noticed that?”

You tilt your head, like the idea of not noticing him is absurd. “Of course. I sit right behind you.”

Sam has no idea how to respond to that. His brain is short-circuiting, stuck on the fact that you—this girl he’s been secretly stealing glances at all year—have been paying attention to him too.

“Uh, thanks,” he finally mutters, pushing his hair back. “I just… read a lot, I guess.”

You hum, resting your chin on your hand as you watch him. “You always look super focused in class,” you muse. “Like, intense focus. It’s kinda impressive.”

Sam lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, well. I try.”

You lean in slightly. “So, Mr. Genius, since we’re here—wanna help me with my essay?”

It’s an easy excuse to stay here longer, to keep talking to you, and Sam knows it.

But he’s definitely not going to say no.

“Yeah,” he says, a real smile tugging at his lips now. “Yeah, I can do that.”

ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ

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[zorostitties]

Aurora; 9 (m)

⤕ Your existence had been an endless night, where shadows whispered long forgotten secrets. Trapped in a golden cage, your fragile mind and shattered memories were chains that kept you from dreaming of freedom. Then, he appeared with the first light of dawn, like a gentle sun warming your cold skin. In his gaze, the promise of a new beginning; in his presence, the sunrise your soul had longed for.

In which Alucard saves you from Erzsebet.

pairing: alucard (castlevania) x (f) reader

genre: angst, romance, slow burn, eventual smut

warnings: violence/blood, explicit language, mental health issues, grief, physical abuse.

rating: 18+

word count: 11k oof

A/N: HELLO GUYS!!!! Ooof I rushed to finish this one and it got SO FUCKING LOOONG. It took a little longer than expected, but as I said on Tumblr, my pregnant sister was hospitalized this week. Not only did I accompany her hospitalization but I was also not in the mood to write lol but everything is fine now! She was discharged and the baby is safe. My lil niece wanted to be a pisces real bad for some reason lmaooo not yet bbygirl stay there a little longer 🤚 Also!!!!! Dear reader Em made this incredible art of Ruby!! I got so shocked what 😭😭 someone was willing to make art of a fic of mine?? That's so cool!! Ruby looks so hot in their interpretation!! EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU EM 🫂🫂🫂 @anesthesia-4rizzle Anyways, let me shut up this chapter is already long enough lol Enjoy!! <3

⤕  Chapters: check masterlist in bio!  ⤕ Also on AO3

The scepter was lifeless yet again when you took it in your hands.

You didn’t really want to, scared of it starting to burn once again. Now that adrenaline had completely ran off, you understood that Alucard was right; you had, in fact, some sort of fever. Your forehead was covered by a thin layer of sweat and you felt unexpectedly hot, given the chilly night air. Your limbs also felt strangely weak as if you’d done some tiring exercise.

And your chest…

You remembered how your chest – your heart – seemed to burn with these three dead vampires, too. Burning you from within.

You wondered if you’d have burned with them if you kept holding it for much longer.

To your great relief, nothing strange happened when you touched the scepter again. It was exactly on the same spot you had dropped it.

Alucard knelt down near the burnt bodies. Smoke still steamed from them. He had a deep, serious frown in his face.

“Did you read the inscriptions of the scepter out loud?” He asked. You shook your head.

“No.” You looked down as Alucard got up and approached you again. “I didn’t do anything. I was just… scared. And angry.”

Alucard observed the scepter with the same frown. He touched the sun symbol softly.

“It’s still warm.” He mumbled to himself. “This scepter, for some reason, seems to be reacting to your feelings.”

You lifted your gaze to his face for the first time in a surprised expression.

That made a lot of sense.

You were frightened when you first held it. Your head was running with similar intense emotions when this strange reaction happened again. Maybe he was right… the scepter needed to be fueled by strong emotions to release its magic, whatever it was. Perhaps it didn’t even need to be you specifically, but anyone going through something similar.

You inhaled before asking – and Heavens, were you tired of asking this same question over and over again:

“Do you have any idea of what might’ve happened?”

You weren’t brave enough to look down at the corpses again, but Alucard got the message.

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment; his shoulders dropped a bit as he crossed his arms. He looked frustrated.

“I hate not knowing what’s happening as much as you do,” he confessed. “But this doesn’t feel like Speaker magic, although we’ll have to check with a real Speaker before jumping to conclusions. And it’s not fire, either.” He pressed his lips together in a thoughtful expression. “It is Sun. The scepter either has the ability to somehow store sunlight, or it can replicate it.”

You nodded. There was no other explanation: the vampires burned as if they were, indeed, standing under the sunlight. You had seen Richter’s fire magic; although it was unnaturally blue, his flames weren’t different from regular fire. They burned, but they didn’t provide light as much as the scepter did at that moment.

Alucard held his chin. He looked at nowhere in particular.

“Sekhmet is the daughter of the Egyptian Sun god, Amun-Ra. She’s related to the Sun in many ways.”

You looked down at the scepter again.

“Do you think this belonged to her?”

He narrowed his eyes. “It doesn’t look Egyptian. You didn’t find it at the Egyptian gallery, either. Though it might not mean much, since the palace wasn’t all too well organized.” He dropped his arms to the sides of his body once again. “Didn’t you say you were translating the writings to our alphabet? Can I have a look at it?”

You hesitated.

The paper was safely folded and stored inside the pocket of your vest. It was the first thing you took from the floor as soon as you stepped into the alley. You wrote it with the intention of Alucard reading it in the first place.

And yet – you didn’t want to show it anymore. At least not at that moment.

Your mind was burning, and it had nothing to do with magic this time. You were overwhelmed by a number of different things; the strong emotions you felt, this new discovery involving the scepter, the sheer frustration of not knowing exactly was going on with you…

...And the hug. Heavens, the hug.

You had stopped crying. Adrenaline had ran off. Now you could think with clarity – and the more you thought about the intimacy you shared with Alucard mere minutes ago, the more embarrassed you felt. Not because you didn’t like it… well, perhaps you felt this way because you liked it. 

Why were you feeling that way? It wasn’t the first time Alucard witnessed your vulnerability first hand. Oh… in fact, that was the reason. He had witnessed this vulnerability too many times in the span of 24 hours.

You felt weak. You felt like a nuisance. You felt like a child that had to be taken care of constantly.

That is not how you wanted Alucard – or anyone for that matter – to perceive you. But how could that be different when all you did the entire time you’d met them was getting hurt?

You desperately needed to avert his attention elsewhere. You needed him to stop looking at you for a moment, to focus somewhere else; you wanted to slide away from his view, to be nothing but an afterthought at the back of his mind. His gentle gaze burned. His soft touch burned. His scent which already permeated your clothes burned. Everything about him burned.

It burned in a different way than it did with Drolta or Erzsebet, however – because you didn’t hate him. Not at all. Alucard had shown nothing but respect and worry towards you.

And yet, it burned anyway, was overwhelming anyway, and that was disorienting. That was scary. You didn’t feel like you had the right to like it.

So you avoided his gaze once again and held the scepter tightly.

“Did everything go well with the Revolutionary Commune?” You asked in a quiet voice.

“...Yes,” Alucard clearly did not understand why you changed subjects so suddenly.

You nodded. “So I think this can wait for now. Can’t it?”

Alucard hesitated once again. “Ruby…”

“Please.” You reunited all of your will to not sound fragile anymore. You were tired of being fragile. “Erzsebet and her army are coming to Paris. This entire city needs to prepare. I know you already wasted way too much time with me. We should focus on what’s more important now.”

“You’re not a waste of time, Ruby.”

Your heart tightened.

Please, don’t be so kind to me. Don’t make me feel this way right now.

“B-But I’m right anyway. You know I’m right. Whatever is going on with me or this scepter – it’s not relevant anymore, not now that they retrieved the mummy.”

He kept silent for long seconds, which made you hold your breath with apprehension. Finally, Alucard sighed.

“Alright. We should go.” You almost sighed in relief. “Their headquarters have plenty of accommodations where you can rest in–“

“No!”

You finally looked at him again. You didn’t expect to blurt that out like this, but it escaped anyway. Alucard quirked one eyebrow up. You already felt heat creep in your cheeks.

“I don’t want to rest, I want to help. I’m not tired.”

He tilted his head to the side only slightly. A tiny, not-so-focused part of your brain remarked that this little quirk of his made him look like a curious owl. “You haven’t slept properly in three days and you have a high fever.”

“You haven’t slept, either. And the fever’s cooling down.” Why did they still insist in worrying about your physical condition? You shook your leg impatiently. “There must be something I can do, right? Anything.”

Anything to stop me from thinking about my healing condition and my unknown past and this strange scepter and my fear of being taken by Drolta again and remembering my old scars and to stop myself from wishing you’d hug me again right now and never let me go.

Alucard didn’t look sure about that yet.

You felt apprehensive and nervous and impatient.

You scooped the floor with your eyes quickly. Stepping away for a moment, you grabbed something on the floor before running towards him again.

You lifted the red string to his eye level.

“Do you still have yours?”

Alucard blinked. Then, he let another tired sigh and… smiled. That tiny smile he let slip when he thought you were acting funny.

He took his piece of red string from inside his coat.

“Care to help?”

You leaned the scepter on your chest, letting it go for a while, and took the string in your hands. You tied it around his right wrist while remembering that he could tie it himself very well – he had shown he could before – but chose to ask for help anyway and- well I guess this doesn’t mean anything.

Alucard tied your red string around your right wrist, too.

He held it softly for a second longer than necessary.

“If you feel anything strange, let me know.” Alucard asked. You nodded.

“I will.”

He patted your shoulder softly. “Come on.”

You followed him shortly, relieved that he wasn’t looking at you anymore – and, at the same time, desperately wishing he was. 

In less than two hours, the peaceful Parisian night descended into chaos.

Multiple guards ran through the streets on horseback, spreading the warning in loud voices, awakening the citizens from their sleep. Windows and doors were opened, confused and dazed heads peeking from them, trying to understand what was happening. The urgency of their voices made hearts beat faster and apprehension fill the air. Husbands locked their wives inside their houses; mothers tried to calm down their scared children.

Their message was clear: every healthy man was being summoned to defend the city. 

Soon, the Place de la Concorde was packed with a confused crowd. They wore a strange mix of pajamas and coats to protect them from the chilly night air; most faces, still puffy from sleep. Confused and anxious conversations hovered over the crowd. Mere hours ago, the last king of France had been executed on that same square. The platform of the guillotine was still set up. No one expected that another historical – and apocalyptical – event would unravel so soon.

At last, Robespierre stood up on the platform, and the entire crowd went silent. You didn’t know exactly who that man was, but he was certainly very respected. 

“My brothers and sisters,” he started, his voice rising over any other. “I summoned you all here tonight to bring appalling news. Yesterday, we won one more battle against the monarchy that chained us under their feet for years. Today, we face another great enemy. Our city is being threatened by foreign forces that want to lock us in chains once again…”

You doubted this Robespierre had any idea of who Erszebet Bathory truly was, but he wasn’t far from the truth… at least when it came down to you. The most positive side of you hoped the Vampire Messiah would forget about you now that she retrieved Sekhmet’s mummy (as morbid and wrong as it sounded), but another part of you was almost certain that she wouldn’t… be it for a plausible reason or her plain possessiveness over you. Erzsebet didn’t like to lose anything. She was like a spoiled kid who never let go of her favorite toy… and you’d been Erzsebet’s favorite toy for as long as you could remember.

You zoned out for a moment, not paying attention to much of Robespierre’s speech. Every pair of eyes was focused on him. Men and women, curious teenagers, homeless children – in fact, there were homeless people of all ages… their eyes filled with growing apprehension and fear of the menace the man on the platform described. If Erzsebet and her court succeeded, there were little chances of hope for them. Erzsebet would rejoice in their fear. She would bathe in the blood spilled. She would murder the ones she deemed unattractive and feed on the women she deemed attractive; she would “share” with her court. She would turn the ones she deemed worthy into vampires against their will. The men would either serve as entertainment or as slaves for manpower. Then, the ones that survived would learn to not fight and not scream and not cry. 

You knew the patterns very well.

No one should go through any of that. As much as you wished peace for yourself, as much as the incoming battle frightened you – the mere idea of being anywhere near Erzsebet or Drotla again and the understanding that they could and would take you back if everyone failed made your limbs go cold -, there was another feeling growing within you, too.

Anger.

It had always been there. Every second in Erzsebet’s presence was torture. You never respected her. You never felt any sympathy for her. You never thought she had any sort of quality at all. You knew that there was a time when your quarters were a literal cell in her palace’s underground, your clothes were rags, your food was just bread and water if there was any food at all. When you became docile and Erzsebet granted you privileges – a proper room, good food, beautiful gowns and jewels, compliments and compliments – your anger towards her did not decrease one bit. You never felt blessed or thankful over any of those “privileges”. 

You were always so busy trying to simply survive the torture that this fire didn’t have time to spread. Three days away from them was all it took for it to burn in every corner of your soul. 

You weren’t just angry. No, you hated her. Hated them. Every vampire from her court was as awful as her. You hated their smell and you hated how they had no respect for human life and you hated their pompous attires and parties and you hated the fact that you had to sit and watch as they killed hundreds of innocent humans in front of you, not having the power to do anything to stop them.

They had to pay.

You weren’t as strong as Annette or Richter or Alucard. You didn’t even know how to hold a bayonet or wield a sword. And yet, if there was anything you could do to help these people defeat her army, then you would. 

“…We will not subject to anyone who wants to imprison us!” Robespierre boasted. The crowd cheered; fear and apprehension were replaced by rage and motivation in front of your eyes as the man’s speech progressed. Fists raised in the air, screams and whistles of support popped here and there. “We will not allow any self proclaimed queen to sit on a throne atop of us again! We will not allow anyone to take our liberty away from us!”

Robespierre made a long pause, eyeing the crowd in all directions. It seemed that everyone held their breaths in anticipation.

Then – he raised his fist in the air.

“This self proclaimed queen will feel the taste of our iron and the weight of our freedom! Woe to the one that stands in our way. We will fight!”

The crowd exploded in cheers. 

More and more fists raised in the air, mirroring their leader. Vive la Révolution!, they chanted. 

You had to admit – Robespierre was great at giving speeches. You felt motivated yourself.

A sigh by your side caught your attention.

Alucard didn’t look very impressed. His golden eyes were as hard as stone. Underneath the severity of his expression, you also saw a slight hint of annoyance.

“What’s the problem?” You asked hesitantly. 

Alucard took a second to answer. He narrowed his eyes.

“I just don’t appreciate hypocrisy.” It didn’t look like he wanted to elaborate on that statement. “Come. We have to act before the heat of the speech vanishes.”

Indeed – the “heat” of the speech spread like true fire through the city, being carried by anyone that witnessed it. The Revolutionary Army took the lead, its generals reuniting to trace defensive strategies. 

And yet, none of these generals seemed to have the same level of authority Alucard had.

You watched from the back of the room, almost hidden (yes, you said you wanted to help, but at that moment you were the only woman present in the middle of soldiers and that was quite uncomfortable because you attracted a lot of attention for some reason) as all these generals listened to anything Alucard had to say. You didn’t know exactly what the white-haired vampire had done to gain their respect so quickly, but apparently, his first introduction left quite the impression.

Alucard was soft spoken. He didn’t raise his voice in any moment, keeping the same usual quiet but deep and husky tone – and that seemed to be much more effective than screaming, because it forced everyone else to be quiet. Whenever he spoke up, silence filled the room. It seemed no one had the courage to argue with him, though everything Alucard proposed was highly intelligent and you’d have to be a fool to disagree.

You doubted any of these men had been in the presence of a vampire before. Probably never talked to one, at least. However, it seemed that everyone understood that they weren’t talking to a simple man. Standing in the middle of these humans, it became even more clear how Alucard stood out, and not just in appearance. That was the intellect and way of speaking of a person that had lived much, much longer than the human brain could process. It seemed that everyone could feel it, even if they didn’t know Alucard’s true age. He exuded quiet authority, unyielding and highly intelligent. Once again, it reminded you of a mountain. It is silent, has been there for thousands of years; no one can move it.

Alucard looked very noble.

You remembered Richter’s words at the forest. Well, he does look like a prince.

You were glad his attention wasn’t upon you at that moment. You wouldn’t have been able to hide your awe very well if it was.

Around an hour later, the soldiers left the building to spread the strategies. What they needed the most, counting on the collaboration of every citizen:

Salt.

A lot of salt.

Sacks, boxes and buckets of salt were brought to the streets. The army provided weapons – swords, knives, rifles, gunpowder, bayonets and even cannons which were carried to the entries of the city. Every weapon should be wiped with salt.

You busied yourself with that.

Without asking permission, you knelt down in front of a crate full of swords, pulled a bucket of salt closer and started the process of applying salt to the blades. Then, you put the “salted” ones into another empty crate.

It was an obvious task, but it ended up calling more attention than you expected… maybe because, again, there weren’t many other women around the headquarters of the Revolutionary Commune. Most women and children were being led to the outskirts of the city or locked inside houses that had basements as part of the evacuation tactics. You vehemently ignored the looks sent in your direction and just kept working.

Some moments later, you noticed that a young man started imitating you. He sat on the sidewalk and took a crate of weapons himself.

And then another man joined.

And then an older woman.

You heard her husband try to shush her back home, but she sent him an annoyed look.

“I won’t sit down and watch everyone fight. If there’s something I can do, then I’ll do it.” She retorted. He wasn’t brave enough to argue with her any further.

You were glad someone else shared this feeling.

It seemed to awaken some sort of camaraderie in that street, at least. Before, only the men that intended to fight were busy with the preparations. Then, you started to notice more people joining in; women and elders. They brought water, food, fruits, helped carrying crates from place to place. 

Hours went by. You busied yourself with many other tasks after all the weapons were ready. The situation was beyond serious, but it was… nice. It was nice to be so busy doing something that you didn’t notice hours passing by. It was nice to help others. It was nice to not feel so useless for once. Under imprisonment, you didn’t have much to do other than sleeping. You weren’t used to this feeling of being so focused on a task that you could somehow brush your worries to the farthest corner of your mind, at least for some hours.

The sky got clear, but there was still much to be done. You only stopped for some minutes to eat an apple before going back to work.

“Aren’t you tired, mademoiselle?” One of the soldiers asked. He was probably around Richter’s age, which made you remember him and hope he was safe – but the similarities stopped there. This boy, Henri, was shorter and not even close to being as muscular as the Belmont. Curly ginger hair fell over his forehead; his fair skin was peppered by freckles. 

“I’m fine. Thank you for worrying,” you dismissed politely.

“Are you sure?” Another young soldier asked; his name was… Charles? Yes, you thought that was it. His hair was black and he was a tiny bit taller than Henri. “You’ve been working the entire night, mademoiselle. You should rest.”

“I don’t get tired easily,” you dismissed again, smiling awkwardly.

“Do you want water? Do you want to eat?” Another soldier asked… what was his name? You didn’t remember this one. “Please, if you need anything at all, let me know.”

“L-Let me know, too,” Henri, the ginger, intervened. Why did he send this other soldier a slightly annoyed look? “Actually, I asked her first.”

“And? I’m just worried about mademoiselle’s well being.” 

“I am more worried than you are.”

“I doubt it.”

You slipped away from them quietly before they could notice.

Well.

The men here seemed to be very eager to protect you.

All the attention you were receiving was awkward. You weren’t used to so many people wanting to talk to you. Especially not men. Erzsebet never let any men get too close to you for some reason. The guards that kept your quarters and dragged you to places weren’t allowed to talk to you.

These soldiers were… nice in an odd way.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to consider the intentions behind their kindness, because every time you looked at them, you thought of how low their chances of survival were.

You knew Erzsebet’s forces. She had many powerful vampires under her control, not to mention the night creatures. The Vampire Messiah herself was enough of a threat; whenever she summoned Sekhmet, it seemed that air got heavier, as if the atmosphere around her submitted to her power. You couldn’t even imagine how powerful she would be after reuniting with the second half of her soul…

The human forces, on the other hand…

A bunch of civilians wearing soldier uniforms didn’t make them real soldiers. And in between the soldiers, there were barely any warriors. Warriors have expertise in real battle. Warriors carry in their eyes and in their postures the readiness to kill – not because they like it, but because they understand that in order to keep, sometimes you have to take. A real warrior is easily spotted in a crowd.

Other than Alucard? There were barely any.

You doubted many of these men had ever killed a chicken, let alone a vampire.

You tried to be positive, but it was impossible as you distributed more uniforms on the street and analyzed the “soldiers”. A big line was formed in front of you. Smiley man after smiley man. You handed them the uniforms, trying to smile back, but it was quite impossible. Not muscular enough. Not enough callouses. This man is frightened. This man has no idea what he’s getting himself into. This man has awful posture. This man won’t last a second in the battlefield. This man… why did he wink at me?

It was so, so bad.

Maybe if the city had time to actually prepare, to reunite a real army instead of counting on its citizens last minute… maybe they’d have a chance then. Hell, you were trying to be positive, trying to not be frightened, but it was getting hard…

The sound of someone cleaning their throat caught your attention.

You lifted your gaze once again to an unknown man. He was short, wore simple clothes and had a lot of hair missing… but a kind smile adorned his features – kinder than most of the men that stood in front of you, actually.

You forced yourself to smile back and handed him another uniform. The man took it in his hands and inhaled.

“Mademoiselle,” he started, and it somehow caught the attention of the other men that stood nearby. None of them had really spoken to you, just resigning themselves to saying ‘thank you’ and leaving the line. “Y-Your efforts into helping all of us and your kind smile will be what fuels my courage in the battle to come.”

Completely taken by surprise, you froze and stared at him for some seconds.

“Uh… thank you,” your smile got awkward again. Why was everyone looking at you? That wasn’t very comfortable. “I-I mean– I am glad to be an incentive for you to fight, b-but your biggest motive should be to protect your freedom, isn’t it?”

The man got speechless for some reason.

Oh. Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

You already felt your fingers shaking and your heart beating faster with embarrassment–

“Beautiful!”

What?

Another man behind in line said loudly. Why were his eyes glowing as he looked at you?

“Beautiful words!” He started clapping.

What?

“You are right, mademoiselle! What encouraging words!” Another man boasted.

“We are fighting for the liberty of our country!”

“Vive la Révolution!”

And then they were all chanting with their fists in the air.

You stood there with your mouth opened, not understanding what the hell just happened. Beautiful words? Weren’t you stating the obvious? You just wanted to take his attention away from you. Why did they all get so excited all of sudden?

What was wrong with these men?

But then, a familiar voice caught your attention, making you forget about the entire embarrassing situation completely.

Richter’s voice.

You turned around to see him and Annette approaching at fast steps.

Immediate relief washed over your body.

You looked around. The line was still pretty long… oh! There was Henri. You waved at him, and the boy approached like an excited puppy. “Would you take my place? Thank you,” you didn’t wait for him to reply, however, not did you notice that the other men waiting in line didn’t really like that you ran away from your position.

You met each other on the sidewalk.

“Are you guys okay? Did you get hurt?” You blurted out immediately as soon as you got close enough. Both of them looked tired, but other than that, no injuries.

“How are you asking that?” Richter seemed to be in disbelief. “Last time we saw you, you were bleeding to death. Are you okay?”

You instinctively looked down at your own body and extended your arms, as if to show them that there were no wounds.

“I’ve healed,” you said with simplicity. Because it was that simple, and you didn’t understand why they didn’t understand that yet.

It didn’t seem to ease any of Annette’s guilt.

That was what you wanted the least.

The girl in yellow dropped her shoulders, the corners of her mouth turned downwards.

“I am so sorry, Ruby,” her voice was somewhat shy. “Because of me, you got hurt. I… I should’ve been more careful…”

She looked up at you again when you rested your hand on her shoulder hesitantly.

You weren’t good with physical touch, but that seemed appropriate at the moment.

“That’s not what happened.” You started in a calm voice. In fact, that was the most level headed you’ve ever heard yourself… where was that coming from? “I jumped in front of you because I didn’t want you to get hurt. I did it. There’s nothing to feel guilty about.”

Annette seemed a bit surprised by your actions. Well, you were surprised, too. But it seemed to ease whatever she was feeling, even if just a bit; she managed to offer you a tiny smile.

Richter put his hands on each side of his waist and looked around with a frown. “The city is in chaos. What happened?”

“Robespierre called for all citizens to join battalions in their neighborhoods.”

This new voice startled you slightly.

You hadn’t noticed Alucard approaching. You knew he was close – in fact, he stood somewhere around you the entire time; Alucard himself was too busy, but he was always somewhere in your field of view, although you didn’t really interact the entire time.

“Legions of volunteers are taking positions around the city,” he concluded. It was interesting how his voice became just a tiny bit less dull now compared to when he talked to soldiers or other unknown people.

“Do you think they’re ready for what’s coming?” Richter asked.

Alucard hesitated.

You exchanged a knowing look.

They weren’t. He knew it. You knew it. But… that was all you had for now.

He looked back at Richter with his eyebrows slightly turned upwards. “...An impassioned speech can make even the weakest man believe he’s brave.”

There was no better way to describe the current situation.

Richter and Annette eyed each other. The Belmont boy seemed to hesitate for a moment and cleared his throat as if building up courage – and then you remembered that the last time he saw Alucard, they weren’t exactly on good terms.

“So… I know things didn’t work out at the Louvre, but maybe all isn’t lost.”

Alucard quirked one eyebrow up. You held your breath in anticipation.

“I have a plan, and I think it’s going to work,” it was Annette’s turn to speak.

“If we work together,” Richter concluded.

The white-haired vampire observed them in silence for some moments, while the three of you looked at him in anticipation back.

Finally, he closed his eyes for a moment and nodded.

“Very well. What’s your plan?”

The Tailleur de Jordan was a small establishment you had hidden your scepter the night before, just two streets away from there. As the citizens were being evacuated, places like that were empty and ready to use. It would be perfect for what Annette needed to do – though it immediately filled you with worry.

“That was what the spirits were trying to tell you?” You asked.

Annette nodded. “...I believe so. It’s difficult to be certain about anything, but this is the best chance we have.” Alucard unlocked the door and stepped aside. Annette walked in first. “This will do,” she stated after a quick look.

The tailor shop was small. It had a couple of chairs, a large windowsill, a table, a desk, cabinets filled with all types of fabric in multiple colors, threads, needles, scissors… it had somewhat of a cozy atmosphere. You hoped whoever owned it was somewhere safe – and you hoped they’d survive the incoming battle to take this place back.

As the two men pushed furniture from the center of the room, you rushed to find Annette some chalk. When you turned around to hand it to her, she was eyeing the scepter with curiosity. It was leaning on a table in the corner of the room, exactly where you left it.

She looked at you with one quirked eyebrow.

“...It’s hard to explain,” you said.

Annette shrugged and took the white chalk from your hand.

She knelt on the floor and started to draw an intricate symbol you’d never seen before. It resembled a fleur de lis, though it was much more complicated. After she finished, she put the chalk aside and sat in front of it with crossed legs.

Then, she took a deep breath.

“My soul may be away from my body for a while,” she explained quietly.

Richter folded a piece of fabric and placed it behind her, offering Annette a gentle smile, before sitting by her side on the floor.

“Just in case.”

She reciprocated his smile.

You sat down on a chair in the corner of the room beside the scepter, watching the entire scene in silence. Alucard stood near them in the other side of it.

Annette looked down again. For the first time, you saw a hint of fear in her eyes… and you felt fear for her, too. She was going to walk into a path where no one could follow or help her. She’d be truly alone in this – and if she failed, then you’d really have no chance. You already knew the “army” out there was hopeless.

“Cécile always warns that our souls mustn’t get lost in the spirit world,” she explained in that same quiet tone.

“What happens if they do?” Alucard asked.

“...I will never wake up.”

Richter gasped.

He rested his hand over hers. And then… it was happening again. That intimacy they shared that made you feel like an intruder. It seemed that, in these moments, they were alone – but in a delicate, pure way; it wasn’t as if they were ignoring you and Alucard. They were simply… too lost in each other to care about anything else.

It was beautiful to witness, in a way.

“We’ll be here. Don’t be afraid.” Richter’s voice was barely a whisper. “Maybe it’ll help you find your way back.”

They exchanged a final sweet look before the Belmont moved away.

Annette inhaled deeply. She pressed her hands together in a praying position and closed her eyes before chanting something in a language you didn’t understand.

She chanted a few times. Her voice got slower. She opened her eyes – but they seemed empty.

“Annette?” Richter called.

She stopped talking. Her body stopped moving. Her chest moved almost imperceptibly – the calm breathing of someone asleep. Her eyes were opened, but she wasn’t seeing anything anymore.

Her soul was gone.

It was a chilling sight to witness.

Richter held her hand. He knew she wasn’t there anymore, but he kept repeating “I’ll be here” anyway.

The care he had for her was deeper than you first assumed…

You crossed your arms and rested your back on the chair. It wasn’t going to be a fast process. So… there was nothing you could do but wait.

Wait…

And wait.

A part of Sekhmet’s soul must be in the spirit world, Annette had explained. If I find it and retrieve it, we may have a chance.

A third part of Sekhmet’s soul…

If Annette was right, than it’s impossible that Drolta didn’t know about it already. She was the goddess’ priestess, after all. Could it be that she tried to retrieve this third part of Sekhmet’s soul before? Maybe it was impossible for her, as it was a spiritual journey, not physical. Perhaps that’s why she didn’t succeed and kept looking for Sekhmet’s mummy.

Time went by. Minutes turned to an hour. Richter walked from side to side nervously, biting his nails, while you and Alucard didn’t move or talk at all. After a few more minutes, Alucard approached and leaned on the wall beside you with his arms crossed.

“You should try to sleep for now.”

You looked up at him and shook your head.

“I’m not sleepy.”

He sent a side eye at your blatant lie. “I’ll repeat it. You haven’t slept properly in almost four days.”

“You haven’t slept at all in almost four days, either.”

“And I can keep awake for much longer. How about you?”

...You’d never been awake for this long, actually. He got you.

You sighed and crossed your arms, sinking in the chair even more. “I don’t want to sleep. What if something important happens?”

“He won’t be quiet about it. You’ll wake up in no time,” Alucard said jokingly.

“I heard that,” Richter almost pouted. It seems he didn’t really like when both of you chuckled at him.

You dropped your voice to a whisper, hoping Richter wouldn’t hear you from the other side of the room.

“Don’t be mean to him.”

Alucard paused.

You had the strong impression he wanted to roll his eyes but held himself back. The white-haired vampire sighed and tilted his head to the side.

“I won’t if you sleep for a bit.”

It was your turn to let a deep sigh. “No promises.”

“No promises on my part, either.”

He sent you a last lighthearted look, the hint of a smile on his lips, before walking back to the windowsill.

The thing is, your eyelids were heavy. But you genuinely didn’t want to miss anything. One week ago, your life was basically a long, confusing sleep; it was the first time you’d been awake for so long, experiencing so many new things – good and bad – and it was the first time your mind was so clear. No memory lapses, no confusion; you knew where you were all the time, there were no blank spaces in between events. You didn’t want it to go away. If Alucard could keep awake for much longer, you could too, right? Maybe your brain would heal the sleep. Maybe if you pushed a little longer you wouldn’t feel tired anymore–

Pitch black.

“Come back here!”

You run around the alleys after that little rat. Heavens, why does ??? have to be so disobedient?! Although he’s screaming, you’re pretty sure he likes being chased like this. He loves pissing you off for some reason.

But his legs are much shorter than yours, and without much effort, you grab him by the collar.

??? looks at you with the round eyes of a scared pup.

“What are you doing here?!” You hiss, crouching down to get to his eye level and holding him by both arms. “I told you over a hundred times, you’re not allowed inside!”

“I was curious!”

“I don’t care!” ??? shrieks at your loud reprimands. You can’t bring yourself to soften; he has to understand that his actions have consequences once and for all. “There are places you’re not allowed to get in! Do you want me to get into trouble because of you?!”

??? crosses his arms and looks down, pouting. “I-I just wanted someone to play with!”

You huff and roll your eyes. “Oh, please. You have plenty of friends. You can’t fool me with that.” He sticks his tongue out at you; you ruffle his hair violently in return. “Go back home right now. And if I catch you here again, I’ll hang you by your feet and let you dry in the sun like a peace of meat. Did you understand?!”

“You’re annoying! I hate you!”

??? runs off. You gasp out loud, outraged.

“I’ll kill you when I get home!”

You woke up with a soft gasp.

For some seconds, you were completely disoriented. You blinked several times, trying to understand what was happening.

Oh.

You were exactly on the same spot as before. Sitting on the wooden chair. A long, soft fabric was put over your body, serving as a blanket.

...You ended up sleeping, after all.

And for a long time.

You knew it not only because your body ached from sleeping while sitting in a hard wooden chair – your neck was especially painful –, but because the Sun was gone. Judging by the height of the moon in the sky, it was already a little over midnight. It brightly illuminated the entire tailor shop through the large window, bathing it in silver light; one candle was lit over the desk, but it wasn’t really necessary.

You massaged your neck, frowning, and looked to your right side. Richter was sleeping over the desk right beside you, snoring softly and drooling a bit. It made you chuckle. Annette hadn’t moved a centimeter. You wondered if she’d feel pain when she “came back”; not moving for so many hours, not drinking water or eating…

“You should sleep a bit more.”

Alucard’s quiet voice reached your ears and immediately made you shiver… for some reason. He was being quieter than usual as to not wake Richter up or disturb Annette.

The white-haired vampire was comfortably sitting on the windowsill with his arms crossed, one of his legs over the wooden platform. The usual serenity adorned his features. Moonlight bathed him directly through the window, making his hair look like strands of pure braided silver. His long eyelashes cast a soft shadow over his golden eyes.

You rubbed your eyes and forehead. Of course, you were trying to brush the sleep away, but you also were trying to pretend his sole image didn’t make your stomach feel funny.

“I already slept too much,” you whispered back.

Alucard observed you in silence for some seconds. He pointed at something with his finger; a basket with some apples right beside Richter’s head.

Sure. You needed to eat. You haven’t had lunch at all. You held one of the apples and took a bite.

You munched in silence for some moments.

A silent battle took place within you.

You… wanted to approach him. You hadn’t really talked the entire day, too busy in your tasks to have a moment – and as stupid as it was because, well, he’d been near you the entire time, you… missed him. But you didn’t know if you should approach him at all. What if Alucard didn’t want to be disturbed? There was no reason for you to leave your spot in the room.

The hesitance only got worse because now, every time you looked at him, you remembered the hug. It was so comforting at that moment… why did you feel so embarrassed of yourself about it now? Alucard took the initiative to hug you first. There was nothing wrong with that, was it? Wasn’t it common for friends to hug each other? Well, you never had a friend before, you couldn’t tell if it was true...

Were you his friend in the first place? Did Alucard consider you a friend?

The truth is… you felt that something shifted in your “relationship” with him since that hug, even if it was all just in your head. You couldn’t tell exactly what. Maybe you were acting like a fool. Alucard probably didn’t stop to think about it even once.

You took another bite.

Alucard wouldn’t be mean to you, would he? He hadn’t been until that point. Not even once. So, why were you hesitating?

You gulped and got up from the chair.

Still holding the blanket, you crossed the room, tip toeing to not make much noise. Your eyes were glued on Annette’s immobile figure, both because you didn’t want to touch her by accident and because you didn’t want to make eye contact with Alucard yet. You knew he was watching you.

You sat on the other side of the windowsill, facing him. As the window was large, it was a considerable distance, which made the situation a bit less awkward for you. You put both legs over the windowsill and brought your knees close to your body, covering them with the blanket.

The only sound filling the room was of Richter’s soft snoring and your quiet munching.

It was peaceful. You didn’t expect you’d feel any peace in the hours that preceded the hell that would unleash upon the city. It was even a bit ironic how beautiful the moon looked that night.

After finishing eating the apple, you placed the stem aside and stayed in silence for some more minutes.

It took courage to speak up.

“Do you think they still need help out there?” Your voice was quiet.

Alucard didn’t take his eyes off the window.

“We already did everything we could to help them.” His deep, husky voice sounded even more soothing than usual for some reason. It was truly admirable how relaxed he could be in that moment, considering what awaited you in the near future. “They have all the instructions. They’ll know what to do.”

It was kind of him to include you in this. Your “help” wasn’t as significant as his; Alucard not only gave instructions, but led the entire defensive strategy. But you decided not to feel bad about that… not at that moment.

You put your hands over your knees and adjusted your posture a bit better.

“...Can I ask you something?”

Alucard turned his gaze to you for the first time, nodding.

“What did you mean back there at the square? When you said you don’t appreciate hypocrisy?”

The white-haired vampire exhaled softly; his expression got a tiny bit tense. You were under the impression he was expecting you to ask something else…

“That whole speech about liberty.” He started. His voice became more serious, a slight hint of annoyance once again. “It’s all surface level, you see. Very selfish. They talk about fighting for freedom whilst still keeping colonies under their power, refusing to let them be independent.” Alucard’s eyes landed on Annette. “Annette’s home country, Saint-Domingue, is one of these colonies. They are currently battling for independence over there. Annette herself was a slave; she had to fight for her own freedom.”

You widened your eyes and immediately looked at her as well.

Annette used to be a slave?!

Suddenly – many things about her started to make sense. The mark on her right hand… her words to you at the forest; “I understand how you feel”, she said. “Those people… they keep haunting you. On your sleep, or even when you’re awake”, she said.

“To be truly freed is to not be afraid.”

You tightened your hands on the blanket. Annette… she really could understand you better than anyone else. And she still came to this country to fight for the people that wouldn’t fight for her…

“Why did she even agree to help them?” You wondered in disbelief.

“She understands that Erzsebet will become a much bigger menace to the whole world if she’s not stopped in time.” Alucard tightened his eyes. “The people of France, like Richter and Maria, aren’t wrong for fighting against the monarchy. But it’s the leaderships of the Revolution that are hypocrites. If it’s not liberty for all, then it’s no liberty at all.”

You looked at Annette again.

She was so much stronger than you imagined… not only because she was a powerful witch or because she was, at that moment, wandering alone in the spirit world; Annette had a noble soul. She was strong enough to overcome her fears and fight for herself.

You wondered if you’d be like her one day.

You wanted to be like her.

To be truly freed is to not be afraid.

Well… if you wanted to be like her, you’d have to overcome your fears, too. And your hesitancy.

You hugged your own legs and stared at the fabric of the blanket, gathering the courage to speak these next words out loud. If you spoke them, they would become more real. A part of you was scared of that fact.

“I… I think I have a son.”

Alucard immediately whipped his head at your whispered confession.

Although he was visibly surprised, he didn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue.

“...Or a brother. I’m not sure.”

The white-haired vampire narrowed his eyes; he was the one that seemed to hesitate now, choosing his words carefully. “What makes you think that?”

You scratched your head nervously and frowned. “This dream I just had. I barely ever dream about anything… my sleep is usually empty. B-But I dreamed of this little boy that looks like me and…”

And I loved him.

I loved the little boy I saw in my dream with all my heart. I missed him the moment I opened my eyes and realized he wasn’t real.

You gulped, passed your hand over your face again. “Or maybe I’m still emotional over what happened to Oliver. I don’t know.” You shook your head, immediately feeling regret and embarrassment for admitting something so personal. Why would Alucard want to know about that anyway? “F-Forget about it. Just a dream, right? I guess it’s not important…”

“If it’s important to you, then it’s important.” Alucard held his chin and looked down, pensive. “Perhaps your memories are coming back in the form of dreams.”

It was a bit amazing how Alucard could reassure you with a blank expression on his face – as if he didn’t understand the impact his words had on you. You looked down at your knees again, that familiar heat already increasing on the back of your neck and cheeks.

“I-Is it common?” You tried to act like his words didn’t make you feel even more emotional.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell. I’ve… never suffered of memory loss before.” He shrugged. “But the mind works in mysterious ways, especially if we consider that your memories might’ve been taken away by magic.”

You exhaled and grabbed some strands of hair at the top of your head nervously again, as if trying to forcefully grab a memory from your brain.

“Why can’t I remember relevant things? Or at least straightforward things?” You whined to yourself. “Small, useless things come to me, but nothing that could help me find out who I am.”

Alucard leaned forward slightly, seeming interested.

“What type of things do you remember?” He asked softly.

You hummed.

“...I can’t call these things memories. They’re more like… things I know. Like…” You pressed your lips together. “I know the difference between a poisonous mushroom and an edible one. No one taught me that, I just know it. Or… there’s many animals I know of, though I don’t remember ever seeing them before. And…”

You looked out the window towards the sky. Alucard watched you with curiosity.

You pointed towards a specific star.

“That’s Mars.” Alucard looked subtly surprised. “Right in the middle of the Gemini constellation. Pollux, Castor…” You searched for something else in the sky. “And there… Betelgeuse, Bellatrix... the Orion constellation. And right over there–“ You pointed a bit downwards. “That’s Jupiter, in the middle of Taurus. And that star right beside it… it’s…” Your frown deepened and you hummed, trying to remember its name. “It’s…”

“Aldebaran.”

You looked back at Alucard.

He had the tiniest of the smiles on his lips.

“Yes. Aldebaran.” You confirmed, unable to hide your tiny smile that mirrored his.

“That’s why you look at the night sky so much? You were remembering?”

Oh.

You didn’t know Alucard paid attention to that.

You averted your gaze from his, trying to hide your shyness. “M-My point is: why do I remember these small things, and nothing more relevant… like where do I come from or my real name?”

Alucard leaned his back on the wall once more and looked out the window. You watched as serenity took the lead over his features again – being accompanied by quiet sorrow. That was new. You hadn’t seen him show an expression like that before.

...He looked quite vulnerable at that moment.

“My father… was many things,” he began, which immediately surprised you and locked all your attention over him. Alucard was finally letting one more piece of information about him; these moments were rare. You cherished them deeply. His voice was featherlight, mirroring the quiet vulnerability of his expression. “A scholar, a philosopher, an alchemist… and he was also an astronomer. He was passionate about the stars.”

A small sad smile appeared on his lips.

That was another new expression.

That was the same man that led an entire room full of generals with unyielding authority; the same man you’d seen kill vampires ruthlessly. A real warrior. And yet, at that moment, locked inside this small tailor shop with no more witnesses other than you, Alucard was letting himself be fragile for a moment.

Perhaps it was inappropriate of you to think this way – but at that moment, with the silver moonlight kissing his saddened image, he had never looked more beautiful.

The intricate paintings you’d seen at the Louvre did not compare to him.

“He taught me all about it when I was a child,” Alucard continued softly. “Constellations. Comets. Planets… I never forgot any of it.” He closed his eyes for a moment before looking down. “What I mean with that is… I don’t really use this knowledge in my life other than to know the seasons of the year. Some magicians are benefited by the positions of celestial bodies, but they don’t affect the type of magic I use. And yet…” He finally looked up at you again. “This knowledge isn’t small or useless to me; because it was taught by someone I loved.”

For some reason, you felt your heart ache at his words.

Of course, you understood what he meant; he was trying to help, to change your perspective, to not deem that your simple “knowledge” was useless. However, what you noticed the most was the quiet sadness in his eyes, the quiet longing. You remembered, once again, the fact that Alucard was centuries old. Still, he visibly talked about his father with some sort of affection. Longing.

...He’d been missing someone for centuries?

But you remembered, once again, that his father was Dracula. The name that evoked primal fear in you; the vampire that, according to Richter, almost wiped out mankind. He must’ve been as dangerous as Erzsebet or even worse. Even so, Alucard seemed to miss him… it made the whole situation so much more painful.

Did Alucard have to kill someone he loved…?

Why did it make you so sad?

Maybe it wasn’t that serious to him; maybe it was a scar that had already healed long ago. Maybe you were being too emotional again. But the simple idea of Alucard having to go through something so horrible ached. You… you wished there was something you could do for him. If you could comfort him the way he comforted you so many times.

...You wondered if he’d mind if you came closer. If he’d be surprised if you draped your arms around his shoulders; if he’d push you away if you made him rest his head on your chest, the same way he did to you yesterday. You wondered if he’d appreciate if you held him like that; if he’d like if you caressed his hair, tangling your fingers on his silvery strands. You… you wondered if it would make him feel a bit better. If he’d sigh, if he would cage his arms around your waist and reciprocate it.

You didn’t just wonder it; you craved it. Because as much as his touch and his gaze and his eyes burned, you craved that burn. It wouldn’t hurt you – at least, not in the ways you were used to.

It was scary.

If you were a little more brave, you would’ve moved. You would’ve made your imagination come true.

...But once again, you were reminded that there wasn’t time for any of that.

You felt a cold shiver run your spine, which immediately snapped you out of your trance. What surprised you, however, is that you weren’t the only one; Alucard also frowned and immediately straightened his posture, putting both feet on the floor again.

Both of you turned to Annette.

Both of you watched in quiet shock when she started to float in the air, keeping her meditation position.

Both of you stood up.

“...Is this normal?” You whispered.

“I don’t know.” He whispered back.

“What do we do?”

“There’s nothing we can do.”

“I should wake–“

“No.” Alucard held your arm softly before you took one more step. “Let the boy sleep. There’s nothing he can do, either. He’ll just be even more stressed.”

You gulped and nodded, sitting on the windowsill again and hoping that whatever battle Annette was facing, she’d be strong enough to win.

Hours went by. The sun raised in the sky again – and with him, apprehension beyond words.

Before, Richter was the only one walking from side to side and biting nails; now, you felt like a pile of anxiety yourself, watching as Annette didn’t send any sign that she was close to coming back. Two hours ago, she had gasped for a moment as if she was underwater; after that, her expression went back to being blank and she stopped levitating, her body slowly getting down on the floor again.

No more reactions after that.

The streets were packed with soldiers once more. You looked out the window and back to her nervously. What if she got lost in the spirit world? What if she never came back?

Even Alucard was beginning to show hints of anxiety. He chose to stay in the same spot by the window, but his eyes wandered outside as well. He had taken responsibility over the entire operation, after all. Despite what he said past night, you knew he also worried for everyone.

You stopped beside him with crossed arms. Richter couldn’t stay still for a moment. The three of you watched Annette in silence.

You didn’t want Richter to hear your question. Hell, you didn’t want to voice that yourself – but it had to be asked at some point.

“Alucard, what if… what if she…” you whispered; yet, you weren’t brave enough to finish that sentence.

What if she doesn’t make it?

Alucard understood anyway.

“We’ll fight.” He replied with simplicity. “There’s nothing else we can do.”

You closed your eyes for a moment. Annette never coming back… Erzsebet possessing the true power of Sekhmet… all the unprepared soldiers out there… you were experiencing the worst case scenario. You wished there was something else you could do. Anything to help her.

Minutes went by. Minutes. Minutes…

You… started to feel a strange weakness in the pit of your stomach.

Your legs felt wobbly. It wasn’t due to hunger or anxiety this time; you knew it. This sensation was familiar – albeit much weaker than the other times you had felt it.

You gasped and turned around to face the window.

“No.” You whispered in disbelief.

Alucard and Richter were surprised by your sudden reaction; then, they focused on the window as well.

On the sky.

The sun was beginning to be covered by a shadow.

Slowly, the sky got a sickening red color as the eclipse progressed; sunlight was starting to vanish. You heard rushed voices and screams out there, people running on the streets, locking themselves inside their homes, soldiers yelling orders. A sentiment of fear grew almost palpable over the whole city.

Alucard’s suspicions were right.

With the second half of Sekhmet’s soul, Erzsebet did not need you anymore to summon an eclipse.

You already knew he was most certainly right, but you foolishly tried to be positive. Maybe she won’t be able to summon an eclipse anyway.

All your thin hopes were shattered.

It was impossible to ease your aching heart or calm your shaking hands. The eclipse was the bad omen that indicated her approach. Was Erzsebet close by already? Was her army marching near the borders of Paris?

You couldn’t take your eyes off the window anymore or shut your loud mind – and that’s why you didn’t notice Richter calling Annette behind you.

Suddenly – heat.

You turned around in a jump in time to see Annette being involved in golden light.

Richter was sent flying back and hit his back against a cabinet. Wind made everyone’s clothes and hair sway; you had to protect your eyes with your arm to not be blinded. It became hot hot hot hot inside the atelier; you felt goosebumps roam your skin, your stomach drop, a certain dizziness – the effects of standing near so much power.

Finally – the light diminished. You put your arm down slowly and opened your eyes.

A shocked gasp escaped past your lips.

Annette levitated in the air some centimeters away from the floor; her hair suddenly got longer, her braids cascading over her shoulders like a beautiful lion’s mane. She wore an ancient Egyptian red attire adorned with details in gold. Her closed eyes were painted with blue and red kohl. She had a golden aura around her; the temperature inside the atelier increased significantly.

She carried so much power that the air trembled.

“...Annette?” Richter called hesitantly – but you already knew, and he knew as well, that this wasn’t Annette anymore.

“Where is she?” she spoke; her voice was distorted – beyond her normal voice, there was another female voice speaking upon it, too.

Annette finally opened her eyes. They looked like ponds of pure melted gold; her pupils, vertical like a cat’s.

“Where is this Erzsebet?” she demanded with the authority of a queen.

No… not a queen. A goddess.

Annette wasn’t in front of you anymore. Sekhmet was.

It made all the tiny hairs in your arms and at the back of your neck raise; your breath got difficult. This sensation was familiar – you had witnessed Erzsebet being possessed by Sekhmet’s power before. And yet, it felt slightly different now. The fear wasn’t accompanied by menace or cruelty. It felt more like witnessing a raging tornado coming towards you.

Annette had succeeded.

Great, this was great. Your chances in battle increased significantly with such a powerful ally; more importantly, Annette was alive. Maybe the goddess had possessed her body for a while, but it meant that her consciousness was still there somehow, maybe watching everything in the back of her mind…

Annette– Sekhmet extended her arms, watching everything with a high chin.

“My three souls must be rejoined and the cosmic balance restored,” she said in that same chilling, proud tone. “Though this mortal vessel might be too fragile for the souls of a god.”

Richter tightened his fists; sweat dripped down his temples. You’d never seen him look so worried as in that moment. The Belmont boy stepped forward.

“We will lead you to her. Erzsebet is coming to this city.”

Sekhmet did not show any reaction. It was a bit unsettling to see Annette’s face carrying that ferocious, yet soulless expression–

But then, she laid eyes on you for the first time.

Her gaze was piercing. It made you feel exposed for some reason; as if she was able to see inside of you, inside your soul.

Her eyes scanned your face, then laid on your chest for some moments.

Sekhmet frowned like a feral cat.

It was the first facial expression she showed.

“She must not be close to me.”

You froze in place, absolutely speechless.

W...What?!

Both Alucard and Richter looked from Sekhmet to you rapidly, as shocked as you. What did she mean? Why couldn’t you be close to her? She– She didn’t like you? Did it have anything to do with your involvement with Erzsebet? What was the problem?!

“Don’t make me repeat myself, human,” Sekhmet hissed again, this time addressing Richter; the tailor shop trembled at her anger. Alucard was the only one that didn’t flinch or move. “Where is this Erzsebet?! Lead me to her!”

Richter looked back at you one more time, sending you an apologetic look. The goddess was impatient – and it wasn’t a good idea to make her wait, especially while she inhabited Annette’s body. No one had any idea if it’d be harmful for her to be possessed for so long.

The Belmont boy gulped and walked towards the door, unlocking it and walking out. Sekhmet followed him, levitating out of the atelier.

You stood there, shell-shocked, not knowing how to react.

Alucard’s touch took you out of that state.

He put both hands over your shoulders, blocking the sight of the floating goddess out there and forcing you to lock all of your attention on him. Severity weighed on his features; he had an accentuated frown, his jaw was tightened. And yet, he somehow still looked down at you with care.

“It’d already be best for you to keep out of sight,” his tone indicated that he was not willing to debate this.

You tightened your fists, your shoulders dropped. You knew he was right regardless of Sekhmet’s demand. You knew you didn’t know how to wield a sword or a rifle; you knew you’d be useless in battle. You weren’t a powerful magician or a warrior like these two. You weren’t even like the civilians in uniforms out there – they’d be more useful than you.

But even so… even so…

Alucard cupped your cheek softly.

Maybe it was the fact that you weren’t in panic as you were before that made his gesture burn right away. It burned burned burned much more than Sekhmet’s hot power out there; it spread warmth through your body, made your chest tighten. Heavens, it burned so much; his caring gaze, his gentle touch, his sweet smell… everything burned–

But oh god – how you wanted to burn in this fire.

The rushed voices and steps out there got muffled. It seemed that time itself slowed down for a moment while you looked into each other’s eyes.

“I’ve failed you two times before,” Alucard said in a smooth, yet determined tone; his thumb caressed your cheek gently. “I promise I won’t fail you again. Erzsebet and Drolta won’t get anywhere near you.”

You didn’t know what to answer.

Alucard was the first person to ever stand up for you; the first person to ever protect you, to make you feel safe. Yes, maybe you were being too emotional. Maybe you were letting your emotions take the lead instead of sanity. But how could you not feel this affection towards him in situations like this?

You believed him. You trusted him.

You nodded.

Alucard managed to offer you a small smile. He let go of your cheek and held your wrist softly, passing his finger over the red string. He still wore his.

“Remember.” He patted his finger over it. You nodded yet again.

When Alucard stepped back, the world started moving at the normal pace again. The noises became clear. The city was loud now – and you felt incredibly cold.

He sent you a last significant gaze before turning around and leaving the atelier, closing the door behind him.

And then – you were alone.

Minutes went by. You walked from side to side with crossed arms. The city was painted in an eerie red hue due to the eclipse; you saw many soldiers running through the window. You tried to calm down, control your breathing, focus on a single thing– but fuck, you couldn’t. Not anymore.

You hoped Alucard, Richter and Annette were safe – especially Annette. You hoped everything would get solved fast so the goddess could leave her body. You hoped Richter would find the strength to fight. You hoped Alucard would succeed in his strategy. You hoped the civilians out there, courageously wearing uniforms and standing up to fight for their families, would survive; as many as possible, at least.

You hoped there was something you could do.

You sat on the windowsill and leaned your head on both hands, gripping your hair nervously. You couldn’t help but shake. You knew Alucard was right; you didn’t want to get hurt or to cross ways with Drolta or Erzsebet. He was being rational. He was correct.

But even so… even so–

Your thoughts got interrupted by the sound of an explosion.

The floor shook. Multiple screams echoed in the night, followed by shots. More explosions – these were somewhere near, probably a few streets away; you heard more distant explosions too. Cannons being ignited.

The battle had started.

You got up again, unable to control your anxiety. More screams more shots more explosions more earthquakes. The sky lightened up with different colors – blue and red and yellow – for a few seconds. Your heart raced, sweat already covered your forehead, your fingers trembled. Pure chaos had unleashed upon the city.

Erzsebet and Drolta were somewhere out there fighting.

This perception frightened you, made you want to dig a hole on the ground and hide there forever. You couldn’t be seen or caught by them – death felt like a more merciful future, but you couldn’t die, and that was the problem.

At the same time, another feeling increased. Burned.

Anger.

And urgency.

Everyone was fighting out there. Everyone was contributing somehow, putting their lives on the line. Humans against vampires and night creatures; they were much more courageous than you were. All of them were risking their fragile mortal lives. You were reminded of how easy it is for a human to die – while you, with this strange healing condition, were hidden there, too scared to get hurt.

You were tired of feeling useless and even more tired of feeling scared.

Fuck, there should be something you could do! Anything actually useful. You held your head again, once more hating your stupid empty brain, wishing you could find a relevant memory despite what Alucard said before–

Your eyes stopped on the scepter.

It was in the corner of the room exactly were you left it. You weren’t brave enough to touch it again.

You stood there and stared at it.

Explosions. Screams. Earthquakes. Shots. Multiple steps. Everything had a red tone to it. You kept your eyes locked on the golden artifact, the symbol of the sun; you stared and stared and stared and–

You remembered.

Once again – it wasn’t exactly a memory. It was more of a feeling; a knowledge. The scepter seems to be reacting to your feelings, Alucard said that time. It shone and burned the three vampires alive as if they were standing under the sun.

You somehow caused this reaction.

And at that moment, something deep within you told you that you could make that again.

You could make it bigger.

Your fists tightened. You gulped and straightened your posture.

Alucard told you to keep out of sight. Sekhmet said you shouldn’t be near her.

But you looked out the window and saw these soldiers running with rifles in hand; the fragility of their lives didn’t stop them from fighting. Maybe there was something you could do. Maybe you could help them somehow in a truly effective way.

You crossed the room and held the scepter; it was cold, lifeless. You’d find a way to make it work again – you had too. You stood in front of the door, your hand hovering over the doorknob. It was shaking.

You closed your eyes for a moment.

You were scared. You were frightened.

But Annette’s voice echoed in the back of your mind:

To be truly freed is to not be afraid.

You opened your eyes, turned the doorknob and ran out of the atelier shop – stepping into the red chaos.

[theliving-radio]

The Meaning of “Big Brother”

Part: 2

Warnings: none, more fluff, shenanigans happen again, Gender neutral, Big Brother Malleus calls you “Baby Sibling”

————————————————————————

Malleus continues to ask around the school on what it means to be a “Big Brother”. He would ask those who were the older sibling in their family for advice, and whatever they gave him, he wrote down in his notepad.

During his adventure, he ended up in Octavinelle to ask more students. Though, he suddenly paused when a thought crossed his mind.

Who was the oldest between the Leech twins?

“Oya~ you want to know who the eldest between me and Floyd?” Malleus was able to find Jade easily since he was working in the lounge.

“Correct. Lately I’ve been asking around the campus on the matter of the meaning behind ‘Big brother’. While being in Octavinelle, I thought about Floyd and you, curious on which one is the oldest.” Malleus was able to answer truthfully.

Jade wasn’t surprised by the fact that Malleus was in the Octavinelle dorm. He heard from a few students that the Fae was going around and asking certain people questions. When Azul caught word that Malleus Draconia was here, he ran out of his office and went to find him in hopes to create a contract with him.

Jade is more amused that a future king wished to come and ask him about family.

“I’ve heard from Floyd before in the past that he is neither the oldest of youngest between you two. So that makes me question if he’s telling the truth or is there more to it?” Jade hummed at Malleus questions, watching as the fae took out a notepad.

Well that’s interesting.

“Well, he is correct first of all.”

“Oh?”

Jade chuckles, “We are Mer-eels. Our mother laid about around 10,000 eggs. Of course most of the majority of those eggs were swept away by the ocean currents, or eaten by other predators. Floyd and I were the only to survive.”

“10,000? That is an incredible amount.”

“Indeed, as who is the eldest, well… we hatched at the same time.”

Jade… wasn’t fully telling the truth. Yes, Moray Eels can lay up to 10,000 eggs. But, he was speaking on behalf of his fish counterpart. Good Sevens! His poor mother birthing 10,000 eggs just sounds dreadful! Thankfully it was just him and Floyd. The part where they both hatched at the same time was not a lie however.

“If the birth was at the same time, along with the hatching… then there isn’t really a distinct eldest or youngest between the two.”

“Precisely.”

“Hm, that doesn’t really help me here… but I did find the fact interesting.”

Malleus closes his notepad and thanks Jade again for answering his question before walking out of Mostro Lounge. Jade waves as he watches the Fae walk away before turning back to his work behind the bar. A few minutes go by and Jade hears a huffing and puffing Azul, he looks up to see that the octopus looks like he’s about to kneel over.

“My my, have you been running around the dorm this whole time?”

“Jade! Haaaa… have you-,”

“Seen Draconia around? Why yes, I have. We talked for a bit and he asked me some interesting questions.”

Azul walks over to Jade behind the bar counter and grabs his shoulders. “And?! What did he need?! What did he want!?”

“He wanted to know who was the Older Brother between Floyd and I,” Jade answers without missing a beat and smiles down at his business partner.

Both stare at each other in dead silence. Azul lets go of Jade and slowly turns around to his head to his office. Once the Octo-mer made it back into his office, Jade started to mentally count up in his head before he heard loud cursing in the office.

“Ah, 13 seconds. A new record.”

“Malleus! If I had known you were visiting, I would have thrown a party!” Kalim happily greeted the tall Fae.

Malleus smiled at the idea of a party that he would be invited to, but he will save that for another time.

He’s on a mission right now.

Kalim happily walked with Malleus to the Scarabia lounge room, offering Malleus to sit down with him. He took a seat next to Kalim in the soft blankets and pillows laid across the lounge floor. “If you want, I can make us some tea and we can play a game of Mancala!”

Malleus chuckles at the over excited human. “Perhaps another time. I’m here to ask you some questions. Serious questions, actually.”

“Oh!” Kalim positions himself so his body was fully facing Malleus, he then slaps his cheeks with his hands and furrows his brows, trying to look more serious for the topic. “Serious… So what’s the questions?”

“I’ve heard you have a lot of younger siblings, and you are the eldest among all of them. I wanted to know how you make time to spend time with all of them.”

Kalim blinked for a second and broke out into a huge smile. “Oh, my siblings? Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve played with them since I’m here,” he lets out a chuckle and continues, “But when I do go home, I do my best to play with all of them! I make sure to try to play something that all of us can do together. Sometimes they don’t agree on what we should do, and small arguments do occur… but I do whatever I can to make sure they’re all happy in the end!”

Kalim continues to talk, recounting stories about his siblings, all while Malleus wrote down in his notepad.

“Hey Kalim, did you finish your homework? I didn’t see you in your room.” Jamil walks around the corner and chokes on his spit when his eyes land on Kalim and Malleus.

WHAT IS HE DOING HERE!?

“Ah, Viper! You made it just in time! Al-Asim was just telling me about his younger siblings. Please, join us.” Malleus tried his best to smile at the Vice Housewarden, unfortunately it only made Jamil more nervous.

“Yes, come join us Jamil! Oh that reminds me, how’s Najma?” Kalim asked all of a sudden, curious on how Jamil’s younger sister is doing.

That’s such an odd question to ask out of nowhere…

“Ah yes, I came to Al-Asim to ask about his younger siblings and how he cares for them as an Older Brother. And now that I’ve been reminded, you are Najma’s older brother… now tell me Viper, what is it that you do with your sister?”

What kind of question is that?! Is that why he’s here?!

Jamil had to sit down so he wouldn’t fall over due to feeling light headed.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because I am an Older Brother now, and I wish to know how to be a good to my Baby Sibling.”

Ah so it ties back to the Prefect… Jamil was ok with that, it’s not like Malleus was demanding much, just some advice and information…

Was that a notepad?

“Najma is always checking up on Jamil! I’ve heard them talk over the phone before, asking about his mental health and if she needs to send over their mother’s special tea blend.” Kalim answered for Jamil, causing the boy to look at his Housewarden in betrayal. “Oh! One time Jamil made her really angry so Najma planted a small beetle on his desk.”

“That was not ‘small’!”

“During one summer, they went on Vacation to Sunset Savanna. From what Najma told me, Jamil was so hard to handle due to there being so many bugs in the area!”

Jamil jumped Kalim from across the lounge and both started to tussle. Kalim laughing thinking it was a game, while Jamil was trying to shut him up with the embarrassing stories.

Meanwhile Malleus was just writing down everything, a small smile on is face as he thought about his Baby Sibling. Maybe he can take you on vacation one day! Just family bonding time!

The Dragon Fae paused his writing as he taps his pen against the paper, already planning his next destination.

Rook Hunt was already waiting for Malleus just at the entrance of Pomefiore. He was holding a small notepad of his own, ready to present it to Roi de Dragon.

"Hunt... I assume you know why I am here?"

"Yes! I couldn't help but hear from around the school that you are looking for advice to better care for the Trickster! Comme c'est beau!" Rook couldn't help but praise Malleus. Just the display of him wishing to improve himself to be a better Older Brother! How beautiful, it's so touching!

"Unfortunately, I can not stay to tell you about the experience within my own family due to having to help Roi du Poison... so I have gone ahead and prepared my own notepad for you!"

Oh! That was kind of him!

"I thank you. I also assume that what you wrote down is how you spend time with your siblings, along with how you treat them?"

"Oui! I have two older siblings and three younger ones. I am considered an older brother to the three, after all, and I wish to share my knowledge with you, Roi De Dragon! After all, you are a Big Brother now, and as a Big Brother, it's our job to look after our Baby Siblings."

Malleus couldn't help but smile at the hunter's words. So even Rook Hunt understands the importance of being an Older Brother.

Excellent.

With that, Malleus said his goodbyes to Rook as he went off to ask more students for advice.

A red screen flashes right in front of Idia as he was in the middle of one of his games. At first it startled him, and then he began to panic. The red screen switches to a camera in the main hall of Ighihyde, showing Ortho guiding a tall figure through the dorm. But that wasn't just any tall figure...

That was Malleus Draconia!

Why is Ortho leading Malleus Draconia to his room?!

"Oh no no no no no no, I am not ready to die! I haven't even finished getting my daily pulls!" Idia full on panics as he types away on his monitor, trying to send a message to Ortho.

Idia waits for Ortho to respond to his message... and then sees he's been on read...

And Ortho still leads Malleus to his room!

"Big Brother! There's someone who wants to see you!"

Like sevens they do!

"I'm not here!"

Malleus and Ortho just stare at the door in silence, processing Idia's response.

"Shroud, I wish to only ask you some questions-"

"Nobody is here! Please leave a message after the beep...”

Malleus waits for a while, "... I did not hear a beep.”

Ortho sighs as he tries to unlock the door. "Brother is just nervous around company."

"I understand, but if he's not available, maybe I can ask you.” Malleus confessed as he watched the robotic boy turn to him.

Ortho points at himself, “Me?” Malleus chuckles at the young boy and nods.

“Yes, I have been asking around the school for advice from other students who are also older brothers. Though, seeing how Idia Shroud in unavailable, I should take a different approach.”

Ortho nods as he believes what Malleus is going to ask. The younger Shroud has heard talk around the school how Malleus Draconia has been asking about how to be an Older Brother. When he ran into Malleus in the Mirror chamber, he mentioned how he wanted to talk to Idia and Ortho thought it was a wonderful idea.

Idia is the best Big Brother after all!

“Do you wish to ask me on my own perspective on being the younger sibling? Is so, I will happily answer any questions!” Ortho responded enthusiastically, Malleus couldn’t help but chuckle from the young boy.

Malleus takes out his notepad and pen, ready to write down the new information he will receive. “You would be considered Idia Shroud’s Baby Brother, so I wish to know… how well are you being taken care of? Does Shroud take his role as a Big Brother seriously?”

Ortho hums and tilts his head to the side, going through his memories and wondering on which one to use as a good example. His eyes open back up and he lights up on the spot. “Big Brother does treat me well! In fact, he makes different models of me with different outfits!”

“Ah yes, I do recall you having your own version of ceremonial robes. He helped you make them?”

“Yes! Idia has made a lot of upgrades for me in the past, even right now he is doing research on a new model for me!” Ortho was getting more animated by the second as he spoke about his own older brother.

Malleus wrote down the younger Shroud’s answer, pleased with the result.

He can’t make you ‘upgrades’ like how Idia does for Ortho, but maybe he can make you something else?

Maybe a gargoyle for Ramshackle?

Malleus paused his writing as he just remembered something. He pulls out a pocket watch from inside his school uniform and sees how much time has passed.

“Ah, it’s already late… as much as I wish to ask more questions, my own Baby Sibling is waiting for me.” Malleus puts his watch, pen, and notepad away.

Ortho giggled, “I completely understand! Please say hi to them for me!”

Malleus nods as he begins to make his way out of the Ignihyde dorm. Ortho waved at Malleus as he watches him leave, still standing outside Idia’s room. After a few seconds go by the door to the room opens up, revealing Idia. Ortho was expecting him to be nervous, instead he was met with Idia’s face all scrunched up, like he ate a lemon.

“Did he just come over to ask about family? Malleus? Bruh, from anyone else, I can see that. Him? That’s like the Final Boss asking the hero advice on how to become a better villain, super cringe.”

“I think it was sweet for Malleus Draconia to come visit you! You’re the best Big Brother after all!” Idia couldn’t help but huff out a small chuckle, as he reaches his hand out and ruffles the top of Ortho’s head. The younger Shroud giggles at the action, enjoying the affection his Older Brother gives him.

You were currently waiting on the front steps of Ramshackle, waiting for a certain Dragon Fae to show up, and that certain Dragon Fae was going to get an earful from the rumors you were hearing all day.

Apparently Malleus was going around asking other students who had younger siblings about ‘What does it mean to be a Big Brother?’ You couldn’t help but groan in your hands.

That’s just super embarrassing!

Green lights begin to sparkle as you peak from your hands, seeing the green fireflies that appear every time Malleus came to visit. When removing your hands, you see him. Malleus standing before you looking proud as ever.

You were annoyed by the his actions, but seeing him now looking like he conquered the world made that annoyance evaporate.

“Took you long enough. I’ve heard you’ve had an eventful day today.”

“Ah…” Malleus looks away from you, scratching the side the side of his cheek. “So you’ve heard. I was hoping this to be a surprise.” You couldn’t help but snort.

“A surprise? Horton you’ve been asking every student around the school about the meaning behind ‘Big Brother’! Like seriously, you think I wouldn’t find out about it?” You give him a teasing smile as you watch him crouch down to sit beside you on the front porch steps.

Malleus began to pout, and you let out a laugh seeing the intimating fae pout. POUT! “I wasn’t aware that my questions would cause a stir around the school. I only wished to seek advice.”

“Did you get what you were looking for?”

Malleus turned to look at you, he examined you as you awaited his answer. He turns away and pulls out the notepad he’s had with him this whole time, turning back to you he smiles.

“Would you like to see what I’ve gathered?”

You couldn’t possibly say no.

The rest of the evening you read through his notes, pointing at certain facts and stories from other students. There were a few times where you had to put the notepad down due to having a laughing fit.

Just watching you be happy with his research made the dragon fae happy. As he saw the way you smiled and your laughter echoed around the evening sky, he made a promise;

He will do everything in his power to make sure his Baby Sibling always smile.

Maybe that’s what it means to be a Big Brother.

————————————————————————

I finally finished the second part! Oh good lord! Hope you all enjoy it!

@frootloopscos @d1g1t4ld1v1n3

[project-sekai-facts]

Prskfacts 2nd anniversary!

Today (March 13th) is the second anniversary of when I started posting trivia! Thank you so much for the support over the last two years, it means a lot and I'm glad people continue to enjoy the blog!

As of today there will be some changes to how this blog is run. Posts will continue to be daily, but most days will be reblogs of old facts instead of new ones (new ones will still be posted sometimes). It has been incredibly hard for me to keep posting daily over the last year and a half and I feel like the quality of trivia has been declining recently as I've been running out of things to post. I don't want that to continue, so I'll be focusing on quality over quantity from now on. Plus, it's been a long time and a lot of people weren't here for the older posts, so they'll be fun to revisit.

I will still be answering asks, but don't expect me to be as regular with this. It will probably continue at the rate it has for the past few months. This is just to give me time to focus on uni and personal life over this blog, which was getting to the point of being like a job for me. I will also be emptying my inbox today because it's got like 800 unanswered asks in it and I need it to be more manageable. Sorry to anyone whose questions I didn't answer, but feel free to send them again (submissions have been put on the queue).

Sorry this is a bit of a downer anniversary post. To reiterate, I'm not fully moving away from prsk or this blog, just reducing my activity. I hope you continue to enjoy prskfacts for the next year!

So in January 2024 I explained what 4kids was to an anon and said this:

and someone said this in the tags:

i decided explaining shadow the hedgehog lore in depth was the funniest way to semi-retire from this blog that wasn't posting "sayonara you weeaboo shits" or posting my shitpost drafts and going radio silent afterwards. so thank you to the person who said that you gave this blog a slightly less unceremonious death. also if ur a new sth fan who got in bc of the movie this might be useful idk i mainly just wanted an excuse to talk about shadow the hedgehog

So 50+ years before the events of peak fiction Sonic Adventure 2, we have Gerald and Maria Robotnik, Eggman's grandfather and cousin respectively. Gerald was a revolutionary scientist/roboticist (and archaeologist, this will be relevant later) and one of the greatest minds of his time, making huge scientific developments with the goal of bringing hope and happiness to humanity. One of his greatest inventions was a space station for scientific research, the Space Colony ARK, which served as his main lab from then on. The construction and operations of the ARK were partially funded by the United Federation (in-universe USA), but primarily funded by GUN (Guardian Units of Nations, the in-universe US military).

So SA2 is an extremely anti-military game. That's going to become apparent from here on out. So, GUN wants weapons in exchange for funding, and they're starting to get annoying about it. Obviously this is not what Gerald wants, so he asks the President of the UF if he can intervene, since the govt is the other source of funding. So the president says he'll do that, but he also sucks and decides to ask Gerald to invent immortality. Gerald hates the idea of this just as much, and shoots it down immediately, not to mention it being an impossible task.

However, back on Earth, Maria gets sick, and is diagnosed with NIDS (neuro-immuno deficiency syndrome (EN) or native immunodeficieny syndrome (JP), either way it's clearly based on AIDS), a terminal illness. Gerald manages to get Maria brought up to the ARK when treatments on Earth are failing so the team up there can do assessments and research treatments. The low gravity on the ARK also helps to keep the illness' effects at a low, for the most part. Maria's family back at Earth isn't exactly happy about all this though (the Robotnik family drama isn't actually too important here I just wanted to talk about it).

So the president keeps pushing for the immortality thing, and Gerald figures he can use this to find a cure for Maria, so decides to go forward with Project: Shadow, named as such because "the concept [of immortality] is as intangible as a shadow". GUN still wants weapons as well, which is where the archaeology thing starts coming into play. So to tie SA2 into its predecessor, there's these robots that look like the god Chaos from SA1. Gerald had researched Chaos in the past, and builds robots based on it to give to GUN.

Okay now we're finally getting closer to actual Shadow stuff. The scientists are using a Chaos Emerald in their research into immortality, and develop Chaos Drives using the Chaos Energy from the emerald. Gerald also supplies GUN with these drives so they can use them as a power source to try and appease them (they still use them 50 years later to power their mechs, GUN robots drop them when destroyed in SA2). The staff test out these drives on a salamander when they feel they're developed enough to be used on living tissue. Some time later, the salamander being used in testing has such rapid cellular growth that it can't survive on its own, and it becomes violent and uncontrollable, prompting Gerald to build it a life support pack and seal it away in the ARK's basement (functionally). This is the Biolizard, the prototype Ultimate Life Form and the final regular boss of SA2 (also one of two characters with a confirmed birthday, that being January 27th).

More Robotnik family drama stuff just bc I feel like mentioning it, you can skip this paragraph. So Maria's been up on the ARK for a while now, enough years that some scientists on the ARK think she was born there, and Gerald isn't making any progress with creating a cure. Some of the scientists are even starting to doubt that Maria is even ill, since her symptoms are invisible most of the time. Also, the rest of the Robotnik family is losing faith in Gerald and it's getting to a point where they want either a cure or for her to be sent home to be with her family. Gerald cannot yet provide a cure, but he also does not want to send Maria home because she will die. See now Gerald has a pretty big ego. He constantly talks about how much of a genius is and has boundless confidence in himself, which only now is being put to the test. He keeps biting off more than he can chew, and it's starting to cost his family.

Here we fucking go. Exactly 50 years prior to the game Shadow the Hegdehog, the Black Comet passes by Earth. This comet it the home of an alien race called the Black Arms, led by this demonic looking alien guy called Black Doom. Gerald makes contact with the comet, and strikes a deal with Doom, who was interested in Gerald's work with the Chaos Emeralds. Black Doom lends his DNA to be used with Project Shadow, and it reacts well with the Chaos energy. See now Doom has this plan to invade Earth next time his comet comes by, and he wants the thing Gerald is making to be able to do that for him essentially. An Ultimate Life Form is pretty appealing when you want to conquer the Earth.

Also fun thing that originates from a 4koma but was brought up for the first time in English in Shadow Generations: Maria is the one who named Shadow. He originally called the project "Project Shadow" out of mockery as mentioned earlier, and also thought the name sounded too dark for the project he was using to help develop a cure to Maria's illness. However Maria said that he should name the hedgehog he created "Shadow", because a shadow shows the way to the light. Maria also designed Shadow's shoes and inhibitor rings to try and reduce the strain his body will be under from the alien DNA and Chaos energy (Gerald's Journal specifically refers to them as mobility and focus aids). Fun fact 3 if you hack the camera during the lab cutscene in Shadow 05 there's multiple failed Shadow prototypes in the room.

So why is Shadow a hedgehog? It's not ever been confirmed, but it is heavily implied that Shadow was based on the Hidden Palace mural from Sonic 3 & Knuckles. This is an ancient prophetic mural that depicts a blue creature glowing gold fighting a robot that has the Master Emerald. It's depicting the true final boss of the game. We know Gerald visited Angel Island and, while it's never mentioned, it's likely that he saw this mural and made Shadow in the blue/gold figure's likeness (which is why Shadow looks like the Adventure-era Super Sonic design specifically).

We're gonna have to go back to the archaeology stuff for a bit. Years before Project Shadow one of Gerald's sons (presumably Maria's dad, since it's stated that the other son is a roboticist and it makes sense for him to be Eggman's dad) discovers this robot built by an ancient civilization while doing some archaeology shit. Gerald finds it in a warehouse some time later while on the ARK. After researching into it more he discovers that this robot is a weapon capable of mimicking the combat and abilities of other people and weapons as well as being reactive to the chaos emeralds. Presumably Gerald puts the robot back into storage because his Journal (the shadow gens one) doesn't mention him again for ages.

So fast forward to Shadow being in-progress. Gerald is researching the robot again and discovers that it is called a Gizoid (he is later given the name Emerl in Sonic Battle). Emerl can establish a "Link" to a person, becoming completely loyal to them, provided they have some sort of power (Gerald shows Emerl a gun). As mentioned, Emerl is a weapon programmed to be very destructive, but currently Gerald has him under his control.

Although, GUN gets demanding again due to still not having results for the immortal super soldiers they wanted. So Gerald hands over Emerl, knowing full well the risk of GUN just giving him something more powerful than the gun Gerald had and developing a Link with them instead. GUN doesn't really give a shit about Emerl though and asks for something else. Gerald uses this as an opportunity to give them a massive, planet-destroying, Death Star-esque laser cannon, called the Eclipse Cannon. Obviously, GUN can never use it, but it's a big powerful weapon and they're the US military so they're happy with it. Its true function is actually for Shadow to use it to blow up the Black Comet when it comes back past Earth in 50 years, because of that whole deal about Shadow being used by Black Doom to conquer Earth. (Gerald does apologise in his journal for kind of actively ruining Shadow's life before he's even been born, but y'know he's kinda on a streak of making bad decisions at this point).

Shadow is finally awakened and quickly becomes incredibly close with Maria, developing a sibling relationship. She tells him about her love for Earth and he takes care of her and looks out for her when she's struggling. Dialogue in Shadow 05 and Shadow Generations suggests that aside from testing and combat training, Shadow was treated like a fairly normal kid. Maria mentions running around the ARK and playing with him, as well as going to school with him (fun fact: Maria says in Shadow Gens that he never handed in any of his homework).

(To get Shadow age discourse out the way: he's physically 15. This is stated in his character bio in the leaked Sonic 06 script, which admittedly is not entirely accurate, but there's also other information to suggest this, such as him having the same height and weight as Sonic (15) and Silver (14) while Knuckles and Espio (both 16) are taller and heavier. And yeah there's some sources that put him as ageless and that script is the only thing to ever give him an actual age and all the character ages were removed from the official bios anyway due to a timeskip between Forces and Frontiers but you get the idea he's physically the same age as Sonic. Also no he did not age while frozen. Go win internet arguments or something)

Gerald also comes to think of Shadow like a son, which is funny because at this point in the Journal he stops referring to Maria's dad as his son. Likely because he and his wife had another child, which reads like they've lost hope in Maria being saved and are starting over. I mean yeah that's very clearly what's going on.

Unfortunately shit starts to go downhill from here. Emerl absorbs enough weapons to make him go out of control and he goes on a destructive rampage across the ARK. He's shut down and Gerald reprograms him with a 'soul' to prevent this from happening again, and a self-destruct function just in case it does. However, the rampage causes those Artifical Chaos robots I mentioned earlier to go out of control as well. Those are taken down as well but an SOS has been sent out to Earth by this point (there were also other general safety concerns bc of the evil demon aliens and. the military blaming other people for things they asked for)

So GUN and the government kinda go "fuck we need to pretend like this isn't out fault" so GUN goes up to space and shuts down the colony. By raiding it and killing almost everyone on board, covering it up by saying there was an accident. Only three ARK residents are known to have survived: Gerald, Shadow, and a kid called Abe (who is the GUN commander in present day). Considering that they spared the only other kid on the ARK, Maria was probably shot because she was with Shadow and was helping him into an escape pod.

Shadow is found and put in cryo and Gerald is arrested by GUN and made to finish his research under supervision. Gerald learns Maria died and goes insane with grief. He becomes immensely hateful towards humanity as a whole and secretly reprograms Shadow's memories to make him think that Maria's final wish was for him to avenge her (by literally destroying the Earth) instead of what it really was, which was to protect the people of Earth. Gerald is then executed by firing squad.

(Additional Robotnik family lore: Takashi Iizuka confirmed not too long ago that Eggman was born after Maria died. Eggman also mentions that he didn't know Maria in one of his unlockable memos in Frontiers, but reveals that her death was felt throughout his childhood. Apparently the attention was never really on him due to everyone always focusing on how great Maria was. Knowing Eggman this may be a slight exaggeration but yeah there's speculation that the Robotnik Family Drama will be relevant at some point since they keep bringing it up in recent materials)

Fast forward 50ish years to SA2. Eggman finds his grandfather's journal from his supervised work while he was being held by GUN and learns about his work on the "Ultimate Life Form" who can destroy things. Eggman wants to conquer the world and he's like yeah I want that so he breaks into the GUN base where Shadow is in cryo. Eggman is also the first person in 50 years to try the password "Maria" to free Shadow (Gerald got to set the password for whatever reason they've rewritten the lore a couple times don't worry about it).

Also Shadow being freed is so funny like you gotta remember he's 15 and an emo bordering on theatre kid and also the last thing he remembers is his sister getting shot and he sees Eggman, probably didn't even clock that it wasn't Gerald for 30 seconds, and is like "I'll grant your wishes bring me the chaos emeralds and meet me on the ARK lol bye" and what he means is "we're gonna blow up the Earth bc the military killed my sister like 3 hours ago as far as i'm concerned" but like he doesn't tell Eggman this so Eggman's just like "fuck yeah let's take over the world". Eggman goes to meet Shadow on the ARK and Shadow explains the Eclipse Cannon and Eggman's like "cool I can use this to threaten Earth until everyone has to submit to me".

Also Rouge is here because she works for GUN as an agent and they want her to investigate Eggman and Shadow. Also GUN is stupid and keeps trying to arrest Sonic because he looks like Shadow and Shadow robbed a museum bc it had an Emerald. They literally have newsreel footage of Shadow and everyone's like "no this is Sonic" (this makes way more sense if you consider that Shadow's original design as when he was being developed as "Terios" was way closer to Sonic's). GUN arrest Sonic twice in this game, and attempt a third time. Sonic escapes police custody twice and evades arrest on the third one. He also says he doesn't like cops this is important. Anyway he and Shadow keep trying to kill each other. Sonic wants to know what the deal is but that doesn't stop him from trying to fight Shadow constantly. Shadow wants to blow up Earth but this also doesn't stop him from fighting Sonic constantly.

Eggman, Rouge and Shadow go to GUN's Prison Island where they send everyone they arrest and then steal the Chaos Emeralds that GUN has and blow up the island. Using the six Emeralds they have, Eggman powers up the Eclipse Cannon and livestreams himself blowing up the moon with it. The Heroes go to the ARK as well and there's some whole drama there but this ain't about them. Eggman gets the seventh Chaos Emerald and puts it into the cannon, which activates Gerald's doomsday plan that Shadow did not tell Eggman about. The ARK sets off on a crash course for Earth so now the Heroes and Eggman and Rouge are trying to turn it off.

Also there was a whole thing where Rouge looks into Project Shadow and all she can find is stuff about the Biolizard so she thinks Shadow is lying or delusional. I mean we know he's telling the truth but back then this was like adding to the mystery. Not that relevant in retrospect. Moving on.

Back to Shadow. His goal is fulfilled and he's kinda just standing there looking out the window as the ARK falls. Amy got left behind when everyone went to go shut down the ARK and she happens to find Shadow and asks what his deal is. She talks about the good of humanity and manages to partially say the exact same thing as Maria said when she put Shadow in the escape pod when she was dying. Shadow remembers Maria's wish for him to give everyone a chance to live and be happy, cries very briefly, and then runs off because he has his real memories back now and needs to fix this shit.

Sonic and Shadow go Super and use Chaos Control to warp the ARK back into orbit and stop the doomsday program. However Shadow isn't accustomed to using a Super form and is weakened (there's this whole thing about Shadow realising that Sonic might be the true Ultimate Life Form if you take long enough on the final boss). Sonic warns him to return back to the ARK but he doesn't, and ends up losing his super form and falling to Earth, presumably dying (Twitter Takeovers are noncanon but #5 says that Sonic tried to save Shadow but Shadow let himself die because otherwise Sonic would've fallen with him and as far as he knew then, died with him. This isn't shown or mentioned in the games but is likely what happened given that Sonic comes back to the ARK afterwards with one of Shadow's inhibitor rings).

Shadow was actually meant to stay dead and SA2 itself was actually pretty vague about what really happened 50 years ago. Pretty much everything I mentioned prior to the SA2 summary was lore introduced in later media (this will be relevant later). But, Shadow ended up becoming the most popular character in the franchise so Sonic Team decided to bring him back for Heroes and write more solid lore for him.

In Heroes, Rouge is stealing some shit from Eggman and finds Shadow in A Tube so she lets him out. He's being guarded by a robot called E-123 Omega, who decides to fight them because he's angry and loves violence and killing things (not a joke). Rouge manages to stop the boys from fighting each other and is like "let's go find Eggman" so they do and also they're called Team Dark now. She wants his treasure, Shadow has amnesia and wants to know who he is and why he's here, and Omega wants to prove to Eggman he's the best robot ever and also kill and destroy things. I dunno why Rouge doesn't think to tell Shadow anything. I assume it's because this was the first third party mainline title and they wanted to keep things simple for new players who hadn't played SA2 which was only available on Dreamcast or Gamecube, neither of which sold well compared to the PS2 or Xbox.

During the story Team Dark finds a Shadow Android, and later, shitloads of them in Eggman's warehouse. Shadow and the others aren't really sure if he's the real Shadow from SA2 or if he's another android who's just gained sentience. At least now Rouge is somewhat justified in not telling him anything since she's not sure if he's real now. Cue Shadow having an identity crisis. This plot carries over to the next game.

Shadow 05 takes place exactly 50 years after Gerald's deal with Black Doom. The Black Comet comes back to Earth and Doom and the rest of the Black Arms start invading and fucking shit up. So Doom wants Shadow to work for him and conquer Earth so he finds his son and asks him to go get the Chaos Emeralds. He also does not tell Shadow that he's his dad he just tells him what to do and leaves him to work it out and Shadow just does this without question because BD clearly knows who he is so he might be able to tell him who he is.

Shadow 05 is infamous for its choose-your-own-adventure story so to quickly list off the noncanon endings he can:

Destroy Earth (Pure Dark/Dark)

Conquer the universe (Pure Dark/Hero)

Side with his dad (Semi Dark/Dark)

Kill Eggman (Semi Dark/Hero)

Decide he's an android and kill Eggman (Neutral/Dark)

Decide he's an android and kill Eggman BUT take over the Eggman Empire and lead and android uprising this time (Neutral/Hero)

Stay on the ARK and become its protector (Semi Hero/Dark)

Have implied suicidal depression (Semi Hero/Hero)

Go insane with power?? idk what's going on (Pure Hero/Dark)

Say he's gonna kill his dad and presumably does it offscreen (Pure Hero/Hero)

The true ending (that doesn't actually lead from any of the previous so who knows how we got here) has Shadow obtain all the Chaos Emeralds and then BD uses them to bring his Comet into Earth's atmosphere so he can start destroying things. BD then loredrops that Shadow was made to help him conquer Earth and he processes this for like a minute then decides to kill BD. BD then loredrops that he's Shadow's dad and Shadow gets really close to crashing out over this one but the Chaotix manage to find an old tape from Gerald just in time and play it for him that helps calm him down a bit and tells him how to kill BD. Also it reminds him of the promise he made to Maria again.

So he goes Super, kills his dad and blows up the Black Comet destroying the entire Black Arms race. Also if you take really really long on this boss fight then Eggman mentions that he found Shadow after he fell to Earth, confirming this is the real Shadow from SA2 and not one of the androids. After BD is killed Shadow seems to have mostly remembered everything and decides to move on from his past and become his own person.

I'm assuming Sonic Battle takes place after Shadow 05 because he knows he was made by Gerald in this game. So Sonic finds Emerl, that Gizoid robot from earlier, and everyone befriends him but is also trying to work out who/what Emerl is. Sonic says that although Emerl is a weapon of mass destruction, he has a heart and he trusts him to not destroy things, just like Shadow. Shadow has a mini crisis over this and is wondering why he has a soul and feelings if he was created as a weapon and Rouge sits him down and tells him that Gerald didn't want him to be a weapon. Shadow still has Feelings about this but that's kinda it here.

06 isn't canon and also barely makes sense but it had good Shadow characterisation. So we're gonna cover this as quickly as possible. So Shadow works for GUN now (for some reason?? it's only in this game whatever) and he and Rouge go to get The Time God of Italy. or half of it. this half of it is Mephiles, who takes the form of Shadow's shadow. Mephiles and Shadow keep fighting during the game and Mephiles taunts him that hundreds of years in the future, humans blame Shadow for the apocalypse (caused by Mephiles. who looks like Shadow. so) and put him in cryo again (oh yeah Shadow's immortal I don't think I ever clarified that but you probably worked it out). Anyway at the end of Shadow's story he says this raw ass line "if the world chooses to become my enemy i will fight like i always have" and then he takes off his inhibitors and blows up Mephiles. But Mephiles doesn't die and then kills Sonic and then fuses with the other half of the Italian Sun slash Time god and then there's the bit where a human girl kisses a dead Sonic and now he's alive again and triple S go super and blow up the Italian Time slash Sun god. Sonic then erases the god from existence and bam 06 isn't canon anymore praise be.

Is anyone still reading this. Why? I'm not even taking this seriously anymore I'm enjoying this way too much.

So allegedly Sonic Prime is canon and it probably takes place somewhere vaguely around here. Sonic Prime actually doesn't fit on the timeline due to ooc and also Cubot and Orbot but it's "after Sonic Advance 3" so it's either before or after 06. Anyway Sonic accidentally breaks spacetime and is now hopping around the multiverse. Shadow is here too so that he has someone to play off of. They're like. Really gay here like there had to be at least one sonadow fan on the writing team why did they do the SA2 falling thing again that's evil. Also there's one line at the end of season 2 iirc that got translated into. actual romantic language in some dubs kinda like the destiel confession adding in the line for Dean in the Spanish dub. does this mean sonadow is destiel 2. i need to start calling buddie destiel 3. Shadow breaks the sound barrier 3 times in the finale to save Sonic's life while bridal carrying him. love wins. Sonic Prime is pretty mid but bonus points for good yaoi 7/10

In terms of the next big Shadow lore game we have Shadow Generations. The Time Eater sends Shadow to the void but manages to send Maria and Gerald there too from a point in time not too long before shit went down on the ARK. Shadow kinda has the worst day of his life in this one. Also Black Doom managed to regrow himself but he's not at full power. He wants to use Shadow as a vessel due to him being the Ultimate Life Form and so activates all of Shadow's alien biology, making him "perfect" so BD can take over his body. In some ways this acts as closure for Shadow since yknow. He's had amnesia TWICE since he knew them and also the Gerald here gets to tell Shadow all the stuff that he'd only heard previously in recordings about the Black Arms. Gerald also finally Apologises to Shadow directly. Shadow gets like really angry at BD but Maria comforts him and tells him to not give into BD and his anger, since he exists to show the way to the light. Shadow kills his dad for a second time. Gerald and Maria are sent back to their time and Shadow tries to stop it and almost has a panic attack (for the second time this game he has one in the prequel) but Maria comforts him again. Shadow cries again and that's the end of the game.

So by the time we get to Sonic Forces he's kinda just doing his own antihero thing and sometimes works with Team Dark. He kills (? at least beats the shit out of) Jackal Squad, a mercenary team that was working for Eggman at the time. He spares the leader and calls him weak and pathetic and leaves. And this GROWN ASS MAN throws a fit over this and decides he has to prove he isn't weak. So he agrees to be a test subject in Eggman's latest experiement with this rock called the Phantom Ruby that has incredibly inconsistent properties but the big one is Virtual Reality (this in itself is presented inconsistently). So Infinite is infused with the power of the Ruby and wears a mask now because his previous weakling face was unsightly or something. He then decides to shut down Omega and torment Shadow (who doesn't remember him) for calling him weak. He then tells Shadow he's gonna go kill Sonic for some reason. And then does (or at least everyone thinks he does). This is all in the prequel DLC. Shadow shows up halfway through the main game to help the heroes and that's about it.

And that's kinda it. There's the IDW comics in terms of what I'd consider major appearances but I'm like 2 years behind on those so idk what Shadow's up to in those now. There was also the July 2021 Sonic Channel story with him that kinda altered my brain chemistry. Not entirely sure when it takes place. Pre-Forces maybe? You can read a TL of it here.

Oh yeah I should clarify on what was said in the 4kids post. So in that I talked about how the dub in avoiding an onscreen character death actually caused Shadow MCD. Sonic X is interesting because it was developed at around the same time as the "Shadow arc" of games in the early 2000s and ends up taking a different approach to the truth of 50 years ago. I haven't watched X fully yet but from what I know about it Maria never knew Shadow. All of that stuff was made up by Gerald and put in Shadow's brain. Like Maria did exist and there's a whole episode where they meet the soldier who shot her but she didn't know Shadow. Iirc it was something to do with the escape pods she sent down being empty thereby implying Shadow was created entirely on Earth post-GUN raid.

Following the game's SA2 adaptation and his later return, Shadow meets a girl called Molly in season 3. She's a fighter on her planet that's at war and mostly destroyed. Iirc she wants to keep fighting, but her friends are growing hopeless and think they're all just gonna die in battle and never get to live. Long story short, at the end of the episode, she sacrifices herself and charges her fighter ship straight at the enemy and is killed when it crashed into the enemy ship. In the series finale, Shadow helps Sonic fight Dark Oak, the main antagonist of the season, and isn't seen again afterwards, presumably having died. However, he shows up during the credits, visiting Molly's grave, confirming he's still alive.

4kids obviously didn't like the child death, so at the end of Molly's episode she ends up just flying away and says she'll come back someday. The scene of her grave is cut from the series finale for obvious reasons, but in turn makes it seems like Shadow died in the previous episode. Good shit.

If you made it here. Good lord. Uh. I love my son he has every disease. He's so cute here I want to throw him at a wall.

Watch Love Live it's really good please just watch it. And then watch LL Sunshine because it's even better.

AND READ PROJECT SEKAI STORIES.

(Also yes this is the longest post on my blog)

[yvesssssssss]

How would react the boys of Sakamoto days to their girl being grumpy for having such a bad day?? Would they give her space or comfort her? Feel free to ignore this request I don't really know how to put the idea into words D:

I love your writing btw :^

How the Sakamoto Days Boys React to Their Girlfriend Being Grumpy After a Bad Day (With a Fluffy Ending)

(nagumo, shin, gaku, natsuki, shishiba, heisuke)

No matter who you’re with, by the end of the night, you’re laughing, relaxed, and definitely feeling better. And whether it’s through jokes, food, affection, or sheer stubbornness, they all prove one thing—

Nagumo Yoichi – Annoying but Effective Distraction

Nagumo notices your mood immediately, draping himself over your shoulders with an exaggerated gasp.

“Who dares make my beloved this grumpy? Name them. I’ll make them disappear.”

You glare at him. “Nagumo.”

He grins, unfazed. “Ah, so it’s me then. What a plot twist.”

He follows you around, cracking jokes, pulling stupid faces, and dramatically fake-crying until you finally—finally —huff out a small laugh. That’s all he needs.

“There it is. Knew you couldn’t resist me.”

Then he pulls out the real cure: your favorite food. The two of you eat together while he dramatically retells stories from his missions, making you roll your eyes—but you’re smiling now, and he’s satisfied.

Shin Asakura – Supportive and Attentive

Shin doesn’t even need to ask—you’re grumpy, and he knows why. Instead of pushing you to talk, he quietly places a warm drink in your hands and sits beside you.

“Wanna tell me about it?” he asks softly.

You shake your head. He nods, staying silent but letting you lean against him. The steady rhythm of his fingers tracing small circles on your back is comforting.

Eventually, when you do start talking, he listens completely, muttering things like, “That sucks. You didn’t deserve that.” And when you’re done, he hugs you so tight you melt into his warmth.

You sigh. “Thanks, Shin.”

“Always.”

Gaku – Aggressively Protective but Sweet

Gaku’s first instinct is to fight whoever made you upset.

“Tell me who did it. I’ll break their legs.”

“It’s just been a bad day, Gaku,” you mumble.

He crosses his arms, still scowling, but then huffs. “Tch. Alright. Get up.”

Before you can protest, he drags you out for an impromptu stress relief mission. Whether it’s going to the arcade, smashing things at a break room, or even sparring (he does go easy on you), he refuses to let you sit and sulk.

By the time you’re clutching a giant stuffed prize he won for you, laughing at his stupid antics, you’re definitely feeling better. Gaku smirks, ruffling your hair.

“Knew I’d fix it.”

Natsuki Seba – Jokes and Gentle Comfort

Natsuki doesn’t even ask—you plop onto the couch, and he’s already tossing a blanket over you.

“Rough day? Same. Wanna be miserable together?” he jokes.

He lets you rest against him, cracking dumb jokes and showing you ridiculous videos on his phone. When you finally snort at one, he grins.

“There we go. My work here is done.”

If you want to talk, he listens with a quiet hum of acknowledgment. If you don’t, he just keeps playing with your hair until your grumpiness fades into sleep.

Shishiba – Silent Support, No Questions Asked

Shishiba takes one look at your face and simply places a drink next to you. No questions, no pushing—just quiet understanding.

When you finally let out a long sigh and lean into his side, he rests a hand on your back. “Better?”

You nod. He squeezes your shoulder, satisfied. That’s all you needed—him, steady and reliable, reminding you that no matter how bad your day is, he’ll always be there.

Heisuke Mashimo – Flustered but Trying His Best

Heisuke notices right away but panics internally.

“Uh—uhh, do you want a hug? Or space? Or food? Or—”

You sigh. “Just sit with me, Heisuke.”

“Oh. Okay!” He immediately plops down next to you, fidgeting.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, he suddenly stands up. “Wait! I know what’ll cheer you up!”

And then—he starts dancing. Badly. It’s so stupid that you burst out laughing. He gasps. “Wait, that worked?!”

You grab his arm, pulling him back down into a hug. “Yeah, it did. Thank you.”

He turns bright red but grins. “A-anytime.”

I hope you like it! Lmao, I kinda didn’t like the way I wrote it, I feel like I could’ve done better, but maybe I’m just overthinking it. Either way, I hope you enjoy it even a little!

[littelovelunette]

can you pls write something like Vi and reader use to be together when they were younger but then the whole of s1 happened and they meet again bc after Caitlyn hurt Vi, Vi went to visit the brothel in one if her drunken states and had sex with reader even though she didn't realize who she was until the following morning. they have like a sorta sweet but mostly heavy angsty reconnection and vi explains everything. - tysm i loveeeee reading ur stories honestly they make my day jst better 🩷

Reunite

Thank youuu I'm glad my fics make your day better

Contains angst, smut, fingering, light oral

Violet x Reader

When you had seen Vi enter the brothel you worked at, it felt as if your heart had actually sunk to your stomach— you used to think it was just a stupid saying but, oh, was the feeling so real.

You and Vi had dated when the both of you were teenagers. You both used to once be inseparable until one day Vi disappeared without any trace. You were heartbroken and that's how you financially were impacted due to your emotional distress.

Since you were at a dire need of money, you didn't have much of a choice when you joined the brothel. It was a huge blow to your dignity and you hated how men would ogle and comment so inappropriately over your body, not to mention the horrid acts you had to perform simply to earn some cash.

Vi was so drunk when she paid to have you all to herself for the entire night. You entered the room, feeling slightly sweaty due to anticipation and nervousness.

The once teenager girl was now a very hot, muscle mommy and you felt like you had missed puberty compared to how much Vi'd changed.

"There you are," Vi cooed.

Her hand caressed the side of your face, tilting it to the side before she guided you to the bed where she gestured you to lay with a quiet command.

"Show me your cunt," she whispered.

Your legs slowly spread to expose your most sensitive part to Vi, you had hoped this would've happened differently. In a more fairytale-ish way, but life wasn't always rainbows and unicorns. You had to accept it.

Vi's breath was hot against your pussy, she licked up a bold stripe before steadying two slender fingers against your slit. She didn't wait for you to give her the go and she delved them inside causing your back to arch as you squeezed your eyes, throwing your head to the side.

"Too much?" Vi questioned.

"N-no, keep going," you responded.

Vi's fingers twisted in all angles possible making your toes curl and uncurl. Your eyes rolled back as you whined loudly from the pleasure. You never knew she was so skilled with her fingers.

Her touch was addictive, you wanted more in a concerning manner. You needed her. You needed her badly. Your hips rutted against her fingers needily as she added a third finger, pumping inside your pussy in a rough pace making wet squelching sounds echo in the bedroom.

"Vi," you moaned her name.

Vi paused for a second, "I never told you my name."

You paused as well, freezing in place with Vi's fingers deep in your cunt but before you could respond Vi aimed another deep thrust coercing a louder moan.

"Oh, my god! Oh! I'm gonna come!" You cried out.

Vi smirked slightly, her lip scar accentuated with the smirk. Her fingers only got faster making your legs instinctively try to close. Although, you had engaged in similar acts with your other clients, Vi doing this to you felt more personal.

It felt like love.

You liked sex for once in your life.

Your eyes widened with buildings tears as you finally came undone on her fingers, Vi rode out your orgasm before she slowly pulled her fingers out.

"You can take more, right, baby?" Vi sat up straight between your legs, holding your thighs with both hands.

You nodded.

"Yes, I can..."

"Good, I don't plan on giving you a breather," Vi chuckled.

The night stretched on and you had no idea when you had passed out while Vi was relentlessly fingering your pussy, as if determined to bring every single little string of orgasm out of your pussy.

You woke with a slight pain in your lower abdomen, where your womb was. Probably from the intense orgasms you had had. You turned to the sight and the view of Vi peacefully asleep beside you met your eyes.

She looked so small and vulnerable, her eyebrow slightly furrowed even in her sleep. Her arm was draped around your waist so damn protectively.

You didn't dare move, enjoying the moment you both had in the morning. Waiting for Vi to wake up, you decided to simply appreciate the beauty of the woman. She was naked under the sheets but that didn't bother you. The long lost love of your life was sleeping next to you.

That's what mattered.

Eventually, Vi stirred and woke.

Vi's blue eyes went wide seeing you and she rushed to sit up, wincing at the hangover headache but that was the least of her worries. She mumbled your name under her breath softly, reaching a hand to hold the side of your cheek.

"Am I hallucinating?" Vi whispered.

You shook your head, "No, this is very real."

"There's so much to say," Vi said after a pause, "I don't know where to begin."

"Maybe with an apology?" You crossed your arms as you leaned against the headboard of the bed, "Apology for flaking on me?"

"I'm sorry," Vi muttered, shifting closer, "Although, I know the expiry date on my words have passed years ago."

You laughed, bittersweet, "Yeah."

There was silence.

"There's been so much without you around," Vi mumbled under her breath, "Just so much, so damn much. And I wish I could undo all the stupid things I've done."

"To me? Or without me?" You looked at her.

"Both," Vi sighed.

After a pause, she spoke again, "I dated Caitlyn Kiramman. And before you say anything, she was pretty great actually. I know it goes against all your morals and stuff, but it meant a lot to me— the relationship."

"I'm guessing it fell apart? Or am I the sidechick?" You smirked faintly.

"Yeah, we broke off," Vi looked at the floor.

There was silence again, "I know I can't undo what I've already done but I want you to know I realised my faults in all of the past, I want to make it up to you if you're open to it. Of course, no rush, take your time deciding if you even wanna stick around."

"Vi..."

You saw Vi getting up, the mattress inflating slightly as she got off it. Vi picked her clothes up and started dressing up.

"I shouldn't stay," Vi shoved her hands in her jacket, "It was toxic enough I got drunk and had sex with you. I know it's work for you so... It's probably barely consented."

Vi turned away, "I'll get going."

You got up right before she grabbed the door handle, "Wait."

You pulled Vi by the wrist and pinned her to the wall, getting on your tippy toes to kiss her. Your lips were soft against her slightly chapped ones. Vi's eyes were wide for the first few seconds but then she melted in the kiss.

She craved you.

"I do want to stick around."

"Even after all the things I've done?" Vi looked at you with newfound affection.

"Yes," you affirmed.

Vi's hands encircled around your waist, gripping you closed to herself as if afraid you'd slip in through the gaps of her fingers.

"I'll never leave you again, I promise," Vi whispered.

"I know," you leaned your head against her chest, "I trust you."

[embeanwrites]

Zima and his Handler (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

A/N: I think this is the longest one-shot I have ever written, and I wrote it like a person possessed. I haven’t written for Bucky since I was 13 so I hope I still got it.

No use of y/n or reader, the reader is a honeypot (prostitute) for Hydra.

No descriptions of rape but heavily implied. No description of suicide, but suicide idealation implied.

This story follows when they meet during Hydra, till after the events of Falcon and Winter Soldier in short spurts from Bucky's point of view.

Word Count: 7.9k

The Winter Soldier had various handlers that Hydra used with him. It’s not fair to say that any of them were his “favorite”. Some were crueler than others, but it was always a painful scale with very little rest or sometimes understanding why he was doing what he was doing. There was no growing use to his situation.

He learned early on that questions got him nothing but pain, and it wasn’t worth questioning the new world around him. He knew much more time must have passed since he first got his metal arm, but he was in no place even to begin to question it. The world was changing, and the technology was different than he had ever been aware of, but he never stayed unfrozen for long enough to decipher anything of value, nor did Hydra seem to think it was valuable to clue him in.

His handlers seemed to change with the times as well. Sometimes, he was used as an assassin, sometimes a bodyguard, sometimes something worse he’d immediately block out of his mind.

However, when it came to his handlers, there was one thing that he was painfully aware of constantly. It was the use of his trigger words, constantly echoing around him and forcing him to do whatever the handler had in mind, regardless if it was for the mission or not. There were more times than not he’d be forced into situations he knew deep down weren’t part of the missions, and parts of him would be used without his consent, but he had no say in any behavior of his own.

Except for one handler. It was rare the Winter Soldier was assigned to her, though, her missions required him to simply be an attack dog, on stand by protecting her while she completed her own missions that involved going to a back room. He would stand and wait, and in the morning, the two would go back to the base. He would never say anything to anyone, but near the beginning of their time together, he felt like he was wasted on these missions; any soldier could do what he was doing. But the more time they had together, the more he was thankful for the break and time with her.

The Winter Soldier found himself surprised during their first assignment together. At no point did his trigger words slip from her mouth. She looked at him with not even the expectation that he would do what he was told; she just…looked at him, and he listened.

It started off small. It became increasingly clear to her that he wasn’t going to talk unprompted, and even prompted, he’d rather hold his tongue than not. He’d rather not risk some form of torture from Hydra for saying something out of turn, but she seemed to have no problem risking it.

“Do you prefer Soldat or Zima?” She asked him one day as he drove them to their mission location. It had been hours of silence in the simple black car as he followed the map on a tiny electric screen. Looking at the map, the Winter Soldier had learned it would be at least another hour before they arrived. She allowed the question to sit between the two of them, but when it became increasingly clear he wasn’t going to answer, she followed up. “I don’t mind calling you something else if there is something you’d rather, but you have to tell me. Winter Soldier seems so long, and there’s quite a few of you, but only one you. If that makes sense.”

The Winter Soldier felt his hands tense around the steering wheel, mouth tense behind his mask. Something inside him swirled at the idea of her working with other super soldiers like him. It was one thing picturing a regular soldier, it was another to picture one of the many he would fight for training.

“I barely remember what I was named before I was this for Hydra. Do you remember yours?” She asked, receiving more silence from him. Finally, after a long stretch of silence, she seemed to let it drop. They arrived at what seemed to be another hotel. She sat and waited for him to come around and open her door. As they walked through the building, he slowly dropped further and further back from her, still close enough to keep an eye on her, but far enough that she could do her job without him intimidating the target too much.

Her words did, however, give him something to ponder. He didn’t know much about her, but he knew that the individuals who did the job she did rarely were mindwiped or tortured, it wasn’t cost effective like it was to do for the Winter Soldiers. As he moved silently behind her, he wondered where she came from, if she knew anything from her past, if she had been frozen through time like him, and if she was awoken to a jarring sensation of knowing time had passed on without you.

Based on what he saw from her, he didn’t think she was frozen, and she certainly didn’t have much training in self-defense. She also seemed comfortable with the technology they were around, confidently typing in the address on the small screen for him when he seemed to struggle with something that never made sense to him. He wondered if she had a family looking for her or if they thought of her as dead like him.

He knew these thoughts were traitorous, and if anyone knew he was having them, he would be lucky to walk away with no permanent injuries. If they found out, they would stop assigning them together, and they might even do something worse to her.

Dragging himself out of his thoughts, he watched her whisper something in the mark’s ear before letting out a giggle. She grabbed the man’s hand, and with a wolfish smile, she pulled him towards the rooms. The Winter Soldier watched as she spared him almost a second of eye contact. He nodded and slowly followed them, ready to stand post at the door until morning.

She would come out in the morning, slowly closing the door behind her. The two would make eye contact, and for a small moment, he could read guilt across her features as she handed him a small black piece of plastic that she had on a previous mission. She explained to him that it was something called a USB drive. Then she would take a deep breath, and he would lead the two back to the car.

He also learned that rarely would she pose her questions on the ride back to Hydra. Opting for a silent ride.

___________________________________________________________

If he had to guess, he would say it was roughly every 3 weeks or so he would accompany her on similar missions. Every time it was a different hotel, a different man, and different information the two would return with.

Hydra seemed to care little about how she would return and cared very little about what happened on the mission outside of the two coming back on time and with the promised information.

Some weeks when there seemed to be more time between their missions, the Winter Soldier would find himself anxious about her. He’d wonder if she was safe, he wondered if other soldiers were accompanying her on her missions and if they were as good at looking after her as he was. Did they answer her questions? Did she try to talk and connect with them like she did him? If he never answered her questions, would she keep asking, or would she eventually give up? Leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He allowed himself in his darkest moments to think that just maybe, for some strange reason, it was just him that she asked questions to, that she wondered about. That she was only interested in him and wanted to get to know just him. But it never took much conditioning for him to leave those thoughts behind, as pleasant as they seemed.

___________________________________________________________

He found himself in his usual spot near the end of their missions, standing still and silent outside of a room. Trying not to listen while she did her job for Hydra. He began wondering how many times she had done this type of mission as he stood outside another hotel room. If his memory served him right, which it rarely did anymore, this had to have been at least the 5th time they had done this.

He had grown used to it, and in a strange way, it was nice to visit a place where he wasn’t expected to kill anyone, just keep her safe and make sure she completed her mission. There was silence after her mission was complete, silence that the Winter Soldier found himself cherishing

“No!” Her scream ringed out as the Winter Soldier stood tense outside the hotel room. He had learned that some of the men she was with played rougher than others, and he had been told more than once by Hydra that her saying no didn’t mean anything.

“Please, no!” Her voice rang out again, he could hear shuffling in the room, a loud thump, a cry. His hands tensed at his side. He kept telling himself that this is just the game she is forced to play. This is her mission; maybe they decided beforehand this is some sort of roleplay the target was into, and she was simply playing a role. He had no right to listen in outside of making sure she completes her mission. He is just her bodyguard. She has a mission she must complete for the good of Hydra.

He is not supposed to interfere.

He is not allowed to interfere.

He is not permitted-

“Soldat!” Her voice is all it took.

It felt like a blink later. The Winter Soldier found himself standing in the room, gun in his hand, a dead body on the floor holding a knife that he had clearly used on her, and her crying in the bed with a long cut running down her bare chest, he took one glance to know that the cut would not kill her but had to hurt like hell. Blood was dripping down her body, staining the white bedding. She seemed barely aware that she was naked or bleeding everywhere.

“He…I’m so sorry. Winter Soldier. Please, I'm so sorry.” She cried. He stood still, watching the body bleed out, anything to not look at her body. He reached down and grabbed her undergarments from the ground. Without looking at her, he held them out. He listened to her sniffle before grabbing them. It felt like hours watching the dead body before her voice rang out again. “What are we going to do? Hydra will punish us.”

He found himself circling this idea, that they would punish her alongside him. All she did was cry, and he was the one who killed the target. He will be lucky if he sees her ever again. At that thought, he found himself spiraling. How could he ever think himself lucky to go on a mission? And why was she so sure she would be punished for his actions? This could not stand. The Winter Soldier couldn’t let this be the last time he protected her, for what if this happened again? Would the other soldiers do what needs to be done to protect her?

“What did we need?” His voice sounds unused even to his ears, he realizes it must have been days since he’s said anything. He sees her out of the corner of his eye, still in nothing but her undergarments, looking at him like he’s just done the craziest thing. A small voice in the back of his head reminds him that this might be the first time she’s heard his voice.

“I…I was supposed to steal his phone. It’s black and plastic; it looks almost like a brick but thinner, if that makes sense.” The Winter Soldier nodded, thankful for her description of the phone, and began looking through the discarded clothes; it didn’t take long for him to hold up a black square object. “That’s it, yes, but what if Hydra knows we killed him?”

There’s that word again, he thinks. We. She thinks of them as a partner in this, as if she held the gun.

“People die.” He answered simply with a shrug as he began handing her more of her clothes. She takes them and slowly gets dressed.

“People die of a heart attack! Winter Soldier, we shot him in the head.”

“Not we.” He finally finds himself saying.

“If I hadn't called for you, he would still be alive. Yes, we.” The Winter Soldier can’t deny her logic as much as he wants to. What he truly wants to tell her is that it is just him because she has never said his trigger words. That he pulled the trigger at all instead of standing outside the door and waiting for the man to be done, but he couldn’t. “Get dressed and get your stuff. I’ll take care of the body.” With that, she seems resigned to whatever comes next.

___________________________________________________________

The car ride is silent as normal. He catches her a few times out of the corner of his eye, rubbing where the wound is, her thick clothing hiding if it was still bleeding. Hydra would be unhappy that she’s been damaged, but they would take care of the wound easily. For a moment, he wondered if this would be the first time she’d return with a wound like this and if they would ask her questions about it or if they’d accept it as a part of her role. Would she be able to play it off correctly?

Though part of him feels responsible for her state. She didn’t even complete the mission the way she normally does, and she’s acting as if she did, being silent and almost as if she’s mourning something.

“We won’t tell.” He finds himself saying before he can stop himself. Almost immediately, her eyes are on him, wide and confused. He spares her a glance, hoping it puts her at ease. It doesn’t seem to work; if anything, she seems more wound up.

“They’ll kill me if they find out we lied.” He knows she’s right. If Hydra finds out they failed a mission and killed a target, she will be lucky to survive it, and he’ll be lucky to survive another punishment.

“We’re not lying, we’re just not telling.” He finally decides. Hydra will not ask the two point blank if the target is alive; all they care about is if they got the information they were promised.

“Are you sure, Winter Soldier?” She asked softly, aware of this slippery slope the two were staring at. If they start lying now, where will it stop? What will it get them? Surely there’s no happiness, and this life has already been so punishing, are they really willing to open themselves up to more?

“You can call me Zima. Soldat if you’re in trouble.” He says instead of a real answer, hoping she’ll understand what he’s saying. What he’s trying to give her. She continues to look at him, expression not changing.

“Okay, Zima. It stays between us.” She agrees, and he finds himself desperate to keep it between the two of them.

___________________________________________________________

Their next collection of missions remained similar. His eyes stay locked on her, his ears listen for her calling for him if she’s in trouble. She never calls for him now, but on the ride, he is always blessed with at least one question for him.

Most of the time, he remains silent or shrugs. It’s rare she’ll ask a question that he genuinely has an answer to.

Sometimes, he finds himself wishing he had the answer, just to see the excitement on her face when he answers her.

Zima, do you remember where you’re from?

How did you lose your arm, Zima?

Did you have a big family or a small family before this, Zima?

Nothing would swirl of his identity before he was the Winter Soldier. Sometimes, there would be glimpses in his few hours of sleep, but he’d lose any real connection by the time he was awake. It was on their fourth mission since killing the target that he was finally asked a question he could answer.

“Do you have a favorite food?” Her voice was small next to him, he fought the urge to shrug his shoulders. This was a simple question, surely one he could answer even if he wasn’t 100% sure his answer was even true. He could name one of the few foods Hydra fed them, but that didn’t feel genuine.

“I…I think I like coney dogs.” He finally answers with as much confidence as he can muster, still not really sure what the taste is on his tongue and why he seems to remember it, but he knew it was something he must have enjoyed prior to Hydra, he just wished he could remember more to give her.

“What’s a coney dog?” She asked with a giggle. The Winter Soldier feels as if he’s been struck by lightning with that sound. He had never heard her genuinely happy, and even though it was so small, he felt electric that he was trusted with that sound. He wanted to sit in this car forever just being able to answer her questions. He wanted to bottle up that sound and save it to listen to before missions, when they’re apart, to have something to hold on to, something that Hydra cannot take from him.

“I don’t remember, but I think I used to like them.” He finally answered. She hummed and looked forward in the car.

“I hope one day you get to have another one.” She finally answered after a long pause as they got closer to the hotel. He fought with his own internal monologue, desperate to say something else to keep her laughing and talking, but he had nothing. Just the hope that on the next car ride, he’d be able to answer her next question for her, and he’d be able to hear her laugh once more.

___________________________________________________________

He’s sure it’s been months since he’s seen her. Maybe longer. It’s become even more impossible for him to get time straight; the more he is frozen and wiped, the more confused he finds himself becoming. Every time he sees her, she is not aged, but he knows she’s not frozen. Are they freezing him for just a few weeks at a time? Why? Why are they bothering to freeze him when he can do missions, he can train, and more importantly, he can fight between missions?

Since meeting her, he has found himself asking more and more questions, always keeping them inside, yet they were still bubbling around him, now more than ever. It makes him want her. He finds himself needing her. He has become almost desperate for her but hides it within himself. He needed to tell her about what had been happening. Maybe she can make sense of the stories he’s been hearing.

He knows there is no way he will be assigned to a mission with her right now. Not while his main objective remains to kill Captain America with Pierce breathing down his neck for a successful outcome, but he needs her to know what’s happening, and before he can fully understand his actions, he once again lies in order to protect her.

He is silent as he walks through the quarters she is kept. He had swiped the key to her room off a guard almost a full day ago, waiting to see if he got caught with it between training and mission briefs. He’d rather just get him in trouble instead of the both of them if it gets to it, but no one seems to notice or maybe care.

He is vaguely aware that there’s a chance that she won’t be behind the door, that she’ll be on a mission with a different Winter Soldier, but this could be his last chance before they wipe his mind again, his only chance to tell someone what’s happening.

Slowly, he opens the door and he finds himself letting himself slightly relax when he notices that she is there, sitting on the cold gray floor. He makes quick work of closing the door behind him, leaving it unlocked just to make sure he’s not caught in here stuck.

Her eyes are instantly on him and stuck on him, wide and almost haunting. She looked more unkempt than usual, but he supposed if she didn’t have a mission, why would Hydra waste resources keeping her pretty.

“Zima?” She asks. He hears a slight fear in her voice. He realizes that in some fucked up way she might think he is here to kill her or hurt her, a punishment from Hydra considering their partnership on missions. A reminder that while he is there to protect her, he would not hesitate to stop her if she ever went against Hydra. He did not have the time or vocabulary to assure her of anything, and who’s to say he hadn’t hurt her before and Hydra wiped his memory?

“I don’t have much time. Can you remember something for me?” He asked her as quietly as he could manage, his heart pounding in his ears as she nodded. “My name is Bucky.”

Leaving Captain America, no…Steve. His friend. Someone from his past, before he was this monster created by Hydra. Someone who saw through the Winter Soldier and gave him back his name. Something he had wanted to give her for so long. On the shore, he left him with mixed feelings that were for certain. He fought internally with himself about what this meant.

He failed his mission; he could not return to Hydra. They would torture him or maybe kill him for a mistake this grave, especially considering he could’ve let Steve drown and just be done with it all.

But he knew that man, he knew Steve from before Hydra. Steve told him his name was Bucky and gave him a starting place to remember who he was before Hydra took everything from him.

He wondered if they would assume he died or if they would know he deserted.

He wondered what would happen to her.

Would she manage to escape? Would they torture her for information on him? Surely, they didn’t know that the two were close. Surely, they wouldn’t think he would tell her his plan, certainly because he didn’t even have a plan. There was no universe where he could’ve predicted this outcome.

He allowed himself a moment, a fleeting thought that maybe he could just rescue her. Kill whatever soldier was assigned to her next on a mission and just take her and run. Surely he’s not the first to run from Hydra, and certainly they’d just replace her and move on with their day.

But if he goes back and tries to get her, he could risk her life even further.

And he had a spiraling thought that maybe she only talked to him to give herself some sort of break from their missions. That maybe the closeness was all in his head and maybe seeing him again would torture her, would scare her.

And he just wasn’t ready.

“James, is there anyone left on your list you’d like to make amends to? Real amends.” His therapist's voice brings him back into her office. He is exhausted and done with these court-mandated therapy sessions. He’s tired of other people telling him what to do and how to feel. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. It had been better than therapy (in his opinion) putting the ex-Hydra agents in their place.

“I don’t know.” He finally answers.

“Really? There’s no one you can think of that you’d like to make amends with. Non-violent amends with.” She tries again, and Bucky sighs.

“I don’t know, Doc. Do you have someone in mind?” He finally looks at her, and she holds out her hand for his notebook. With a sigh, he handed it over and watched her slowly flip through it before looking at him with a tired look in her eyes.

“Hmm, I think you already have someone in mind, James. Why don’t you go talk to her?” His therapist says as she throws the notebook back to him, and he catches it with both hands. He knows she’s right, that she’ll continue to haunt his nightmares and be on his mind till he confirms she was okay and she was safe.

He knew from his own…research (definitely not stalking) that she had managed to escape Hydra in all the chaos he and Steve caused and seemed to have a semi-normal life now, and who was he to stomp in on her normalcy and demand to make amends?

He wasn’t sure if she’d even want to see him or if seeing him would throw her into a bad state. He had his fair share of PTSD from his time with Hydra, and the idea of reconnecting in a positive way with any part of his Hydra past made him feel nauseous.

“It’s not as simple as just going to talk to her.” He finally answers, folding his hands in his lap, eyes fixated on his black vibranium arm, wondering if she’d recognize him with the different arm and hair.

“Why not?” She asks, and he watches her twirl her pen in her hand, knowing if he doesn’t start talking soon, she’ll start passive-aggressively taking notes like he hates to try to pull anything out of him.

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” He asks.

“Then you leave, James. But I think for your own sake, you need to at least try.”

___________________________________________________________

“At least try.” He mumbles under his breath as he stands outside of her apartment, almost sarcastically. I mean, truly, what did his therapist know about the two's relationship? Seeing him would bring up a whole host of bad feelings for her, something he’d never want to cause, but a very selfish part of him was curious about how she was doing and if she could fill in the gaps for any of his memories.

Bucky took his time walking through the building and looking around her apartment. It was nice; the building was old but had a sort of old school flair that he really enjoyed looking at for the past 10 minutes, as he definitely wasn’t stalling. He let himself wonder what she did for work, if she had any roommates, if life was being kind to her.

It wasn’t until his hand was forced that he had realized how scary this moment actually was. As her door finally opened and she walked out, it took them both no time to recognize each other. She had stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed him, and he couldn’t help but drink her in. For a split second, Bucky couldn’t believe it was her. She looked the same to him; her hair was a little different, but he imagined she did it for the same reason he did. Just to have the illusion of freedom and choice, something to change for himself. She was dressed as if she was leaving, but her bag dropped to the ground the longer she looked at him. It looked like her, healthier, but still with the same wild look he sometimes finds in his own eyes. He feels like he can see the wheels turning in her head.

Why was he here?

Was he still with Hydra?

Was he going to kill her?

Finally, he forced himself to look her in the eyes, and he realized immediately she was crying.

“Are you here to kill me?” She finally asked, her voice coming out shaky. Bucky recognizes the panic, and for a moment, he wonders if she knows about him going after members of Hydra. If she thinks for a single second he blames her for anything that happened to them and that he would come to punish her he would never forgive himself. The thought hurts him more than he thought it would, but he pushes it aside as quickly as possible in order to comfort her.

“No, no, not at all. I promise. I just-” But that seemed to be all she needed because the moment he confirmed that he wasn’t here to hurt her, she practically jumped to him. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and pulling herself against him. It didn’t take him long at all to return his arms, more loose than her in fear of hurting her, but still around her.

___________________________________________________________

“Did I ever hurt you?” He finds himself asking, he still isn’t sure if he wants the true answer. He’s unsure if he can live with the idea that he hurt her. He watches her as she continues to pick at the fries on her plate. This was the second time the two had reconnected, and he had suggested the two get a bite to eat when he showed up at her apartment for the second time, this time being brave enough to knock. She nodded slowly and followed him out.

He had been more nervous this second time, now that he knows that some part of her trusts him he finds himself worried he’ll screw it up. That this fragile relationship the two are building will shatter at any moment, leaving him without anyone once again. They had arranged to meet up, to talk and try to be…normal, but Bucky still found himself struggling around her. His memories were still fragmented, but he wasn’t even sure how she was holding up with hers.

“No.” She finally answered. “I don’t think you ever even touched me, even in passing. You always let me lead.” This was news to him. He always felt so close to her and in control, but he guessed the proximity was enough for him to make it feel wrong and different from his usual missions.

“Did any of the Winter Soldiers hurt you?” He asks.

“Depends on your definition of hurt, I guess.” This answer surprises him, and he allows the silence to sit around them, hoping she would continue. “I mean, Bucky, come on, it’s not a secret what my job was.”

For a moment, he sees red. The idea that the other soldiers were putting her through the same torture Hydra did. That they saw her as nothing more than some toy, something that they could use and have and do whatever they pleased. That she was abused for other people’s pleasure makes him feel sick to his stomach to this day. It’s not until her hand finds his flesh one that he snaps out of his thoughts.

This is the first time since she hugged him that he’s touched her, the second time probably total throughout the whole time they’ve known each other, and it feels electric. He still feels the guilt bubbling in him, that she was being used and hurt, and he truly did nothing to stop it.

“It wasn’t your fault, Bucky.” She reminds him, and he finds himself smiling despite himself.

“You sound like my therapist.” He groans, and she laughs.

“Good, it means what I’m saying is right. I mean it, though; without you, I can think of a dozen different times I might have died.” She said with a smile. “Can I ask you a question now?”

“Of course.” He answered, almost excited at this sense of normalcy between the two of them, hoping that just like before, he’d be able to answer her questions.

“Did you escort any of the other girls?” She asked softly, thumb rubbing small circles against the back of his hand, his food completely forgotten as he tried to remember despite being distracted by her touch.

“No, I don’t think so,” He answered hesitantly. “A lot of my memories from Hydra are fractured. I can remember the people I hurt as the Winter Soldier, but sometimes the details of the mission I’ve lost them. I don’t think I ever escorted anyone but you.”

She nods at his answer, satisfied with it as she continues finishing her fries. There’s still a question bubbling under his skin, threatening to ruin their time together, but he can’t find the strength to ask, at least not yet.

“Can I ask you another question?” He asks and she nods. “When I came to tell you my name…was that the first time I had been to your quarters?” He watches her carefully, but she kept her hand on top of his. He watches as she picks her words carefully.

“It was the first time you had been to my quarters, yes.” He’s not blind to what she’s implying, but he looks at her until he continues. “Sometimes, Hydra would send other soldiers to visit me both as a punishment for me and a reward for the soldier, but no you had never been one of them.”

“When I showed up, is that what you thought was happening?” He asks, even though he already knows the answer. She sighs.

“Yes, but the thought didn’t last long. I never thought you would hurt me, ever. I still don’t.” She watches him closely as her words sink in. He has every reason to believe her, but he still finds it hard to believe, so he nods and gets back to eating. She follows his suit, clearly used to his silence.

___________________________________________________________

“You know I’ve been meaning to ask, did you ever get your coney dog?” She asked as they turned the corner. This time, they had decided to skip the food. She said she had somewhere she wanted to show him, and he was happy to follow along. He found himself not surprised by her question, he’s since learned since they started getting to know each other that she just seems naturally curious about the world with a memory sharp as a tack. She was always able to recall little things he had mentioned, he wondered if that’s why he trusted her with his name way back when because he knew she wouldn’t forget.

“I, uhh, no, not yet.” He said with a laugh. “I don’t think they’ll hold up as well as I’d remembered.” She hums and nods, seemingly satisfied with his answer.

“Do you have a new favorite food?” She asks as she continues looking straight. For a moment in Bucky’s mind, he feels like they’re back in that car, him driving them on a mission with her trying to learn a little about him. Either as a distraction or as a genuine interest.

“I really enjoy plums.” Bucky is surprised when she stops dead in her tracks and looks at him. For a split second, he’s worried he’s said the wrong thing, but within seconds, she’s laughing at him. Full-blown laughing, hands on her knees, tears in her eyes, the whole package and he can’t help the grin that finds itself on his face. “What?” He asks with a chuckle as she keeps going.

“I’m so sorry…I just, one second.” She said, trying to catch her breath. “I’m really sorry, Bucky, that is just the oldest man answer I’ve ever heard in my life.” She said with a cackle, and he couldn’t help himself and joined in on her laughing.

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m over 100 years old. I’m allowed to enjoy my plums, okay! They’re good for your memory, and they’re healthy!” With his explanation, she continued laughing. “Oh my god, okay, I get it, let’s go; show me what you wanted to show me.” He said, gesturing for her to keep walking.

He follows her slightly behind, just one step behind. Overly cautious and knowing what following directly behind her could mean for the both of them, but not wanting them to take up the whole sidewalk. He wonders if she thinks about it too, how they must look together and how they used to look. He wonders if her actions haunt her the way he does him. He wonders if when she left Hydra if she had similar feelings of not deserving her freedom.

But this moment, answering her questions for her to laugh and tease him, something he’s unsure she would do to the Winter Soldier, causes a warm feeling in his chest, an understanding that while they are still the people they used to be, that they have changed. He is vaguely aware of these feelings that are making a home in his heart, and he’s unaware if they’ve always been there, but he’s starting to suspect they always were.

Especially as she opened the door and he stepped through. He immediately notices the smell, something so nostalgic that he immediately feels at home.

“I’m not sure why, but I just felt like you’d like this place. I found it on one of my walks.” He slowly walks past her, through the aisles, with her following close behind, wearing a sneaky smile.

The two were surrounded by a mix of old books from different genres, some in English, some not. Bucky was amazed by the collection, recognizing some of them from before he went to war. He felt as if he was walking through history, it was amazing.

“I know you’re from a different time, so I just think it’s cool because of history, but I just thought…that maybe you’d like it?” Even though it wasn’t a question, he could’ve sworn it was due to her nervousness.

“I love it, seriously.” He said, completely enamored with his surroundings. He watches her nerves go away with a small smile as she gestures for him to follow her deeper into the bookstore, and he happily obliges.

___________________________________________________________

It’s almost three weeks after the bookstore that they see each other again. Bucky had to go with Sam on a mission, cutting their time to short messages throughout the week instead of hanging out. There was a sense of nerves that had the unfortunate reminder of their time back in Hydra. The sinking feeling of something happening and him not being able to protect her was back in full force, and he had to fight the urge to call her at the end of every day, sticking to sporadic messages that hopefully didn’t feel as awkward to her as it did him.

All he wanted to know was if she was safe, just like before, but this time, there was more intent with it. He was remembering more of their time and the questions she asked, and their conversations finally got to stick with him; it was like they were building something that was a long time coming.

Finally, once he knew they were for sure coming back on a Tuesday, he asked her if she was free, but with her work schedule, they ended up not being able to see each other until Friday. Bucky had to fight the urge to just show up at her house and beg for forgiveness for needing to see her.

But he managed to wait, and once Friday rolled around, he showed up at her apartment, and the two of them made themselves comfortable on opposite ends of her couch, her cat in Bucky’s lap. The two of them did their usual of passing questions back and forth until a long pause brought Bucky’s biggest question to his mind.

“Can I ask you a really fucked up question?” He finally asked, feeling brave at this moment.

“I think all of our questions have been fucked up considering the our situation, but please let’s add to this.” She said with a watery laugh, clearly fighting off tears. Bucky took a deep breath, knowing he had to ask that he needed to know this answer and that he could no longer let this eat him up on the inside. Especially considering how their friendship is growing, he needs the answer before it’s too late, before it forms a black hole inside of him, tainting every action the two have.

“How come you never used my trigger words?” She freezes at his question, eyes remaining squarely on the floor, and he can barely believe he finally asked. He feels as if the silence between them is dangerous, as if she’s going to stand up and finally ask him to leave her alone. That all of this will be over and he will never see her again because he finally crossed that line.

“What if my answer is too fucked up?” She finally responded, doing nearly nothing to quell the rising feelings in his chest.

“Than it’s fucked up.” He decides, still desperate to know the answer.

“The trigger words were to control the Winter Soldier, but honestly, the worst thing you could’ve done to me is kill me, and that would’ve freed me from it all. From sleeping with all those men, from doing Hydra’s dirty work and being tortured. I would’ve welcomed the escape, Bucky.” Bucky allows the words to hit him, he understands what she means. He remembers missions where he was more careless in order to hopefully end his suffering with Hydra, but it never crossed his mind that she might be in a similar position.

“I know what you mean.” He whispers, understanding how she really viewed him during that time.

“But Bucky, I never thought for a second you would hurt me. The Winter Soldier…you protected me multiple times and were always as kind as you could be. I tried to never show favoritism to Hydra because I was afraid they’d stop assigning us together, but our car rides were the one break I got.” The words sit between the two; the truth Bucky probably could’ve figured out on his own, but it felt good hearing it from her.

“It never bothered you what I did?” He asks.

“Did it ever bother you what I did, Bucky?” She throws back, and he shakes his head. “We both were under terrible, horrible circumstances. Why on earth would I hold that against you?”

“I hold it against myself sometimes. I mean, I could’ve gotten us away during a mission; we could’ve run. I could’ve fought back.” He finally voiced.

“Right, because a man with a metal arm wearing all black clothes and a prostitute with no change of clothes would’ve been so hard for Hydra to find.” She said sarcastically, reaching over to put a hand on his thigh.

“I never thought of you like that.” He says with a mumble, unsure how she’ll react.

“Like what?” She asked, head cocked to the side.

“A prostitute. You were just doing a job required by Hydra. It didn’t reflect on you, at least not in my eyes.” He murmured, finally looking at her. Something had changed in her eyes at his words; somehow, they seemed softer, more understanding than before, as if how he viewed her had always weighed heavy on her.

“Oh, Bucky.” She said softly. She moved almost in slow motion as her hand found his and grasped it tightly. “If it makes you feel any better, I was so honored when you let me call you Zima,” The Russian sounded so familiar on her tongue to him, “I always thought of you as more than just the Winter Soldier; I knew you were in there somewhere and when you came to tell me your name was Bucky…Even though we didn’t see each other again from our time in Hydra, it did give me something to hope for.”

“You gave me something to hope for.” He finally said, trying to get his feelings across to her.

She simply smiles and squeezes his hand. He knows in this moment that those feelings constantly arising in him are some sort of love for her, for everything they’ve been through. He has no idea if she feels the same and wonders if he deserves her with the burden he’d be placing on her, but at this moment, it doesn’t even seem to matter. Because he loves her, and he knows it.

___________________________________________________________

Bucky wakes up in a bed, one that surely isn’t his as it’s far too soft. His memories of the night before slowly come back to him.

The two had talked late into the night, holding hands and clearing so much of the air left between them and their time in Hydra. A deeper understanding of the torture they went through and what each other meant to themselves. The reprieve she offered him and the safety he offered her.

He remembered insisting he wasn’t too tired to go back to his place, and he remembered her insisting that if he died going home from her place, she’d never forgive herself.

He remembered laughing but taking her up on the offer to spend the night.

He feels a slight pressure on his back, but when he begins to shift, the cat jumps off of him, and he lets out a chuckle as he watches the white cat make their way out of the room.

“She’s going to remember that.” Her voice supplied, and he flipped his body so he could look at her. She’s on the other side of the bed, looking at him with messy hair.

“Oh yeah?” He said with a smile.

“Oh yeah, Alpine holds grudges like nobody's business.” She said with a chuckle. He watched her gently shift. He knows at this moment that something has changed between the two, that their bond has changed, but he does not doubt that he will always be there for her, in any way she will allow.

“We didn’t have sex, by the way.” She blurts out in the silence, sitting up, causing Bucky to burst out laughing, blood clearly flooding her face and turning a darker shade. He’s almost positive his has turned red as well.

“Yeah, I do know that,” Bucky said, still laughing.

“I’m just…after everything, I don’t know if…” He watches her take a deep breath. “Bucky, if this…I mean, if we become a thing. I want you to know now that we may never have sex. I might never be okay or ready for it, but I do like you. I like you a lot, but I don’t want to lie to you or force myself to do anything I don’t want to do, so if you wish to just say friends, you have to say it now.”

“We could never touch, and I think I’d still be in love with you and happy to just be by your side, whatever that means to you.” He breathed out, almost surprising himself, but wholeheartedly meaning it. He watched the sunlight illuminate her surprised features.

“Yeah?” She asked, a smile like he’s never seen paint her face.

“Yeah.” He whispers out, and slowly, like she’s waiting for him to say no, she puts his hand on his cheek. He fights the urge to make any movement that might scare her as she leans in close, kissing him chastely on his chapped lips.

And it’s perfect and worth every bad moment the two had faced. All because he would get to come home to her and protect her. 

And it's all he had ever wanted.

[luv-lock]

Angeellll my dearest writer♡ I hope you're doing well, if there's any haters not giving you a peace of mind. Just remember that a lot of us likes you!!

Okay so here's my question!

How would Alien!Reader reacts to Anissa? Cus y'know what she did to Mark in the comic- you can ignore this ask if you're not comfortable to write it❀♡

BUT if you do write about it! I would really love to see Reader going Qu mode on Anissa and 'fixes' her cus Mark didn't deserve that :'((

Okay, so first off—thank you! That means a lot, really. People like you are the reason I keep sharing my stuff.

Now, onto your question. How would Y/n react to Anissa?

So, here’s the thing—Y/N’s entire race doesn’t operate on the same moral framework as humans do. To her, sex is just another function—something as instinctual and necessary as eating or breathing. Males don’t get a say, because in her mind, that’s not how things work.

Like, imagine trying to explain to her why what Anissa did to Mark was so disgusting. Y/n wouldn’t understand why that’s bad—because in her species, the males don’t get a say in whether they want to mate or not. They’re brainless slaves. They exist to serve. To be used. She literally wouldn’t comprehend why Mark would be against sex if he was meant for it.

At first, when she hears what happened, she’d just stare at him blankly, trying to figure out why he’s so affected. Maybe it’d even irritate her a little, because what the fuck does he mean by “I didn’t want it?” Like. That’s not how it works.

But when she actually sees his reaction—sees how much it broke him, how he flinches at her touch instead of leaning into it, sees the cracks in him that weren’t there before—ohhh, that would piss her off.

Like, yeah, it pissed her off, but more in a “How dare you take what’s mine” way. Not in a moral “that’s horrible” way. In her mind, if a male is strong enough, he fights off anyone weaker than him. That’s what’s supposed to happen. The fact that Mark didn’t fight back just tells her how pathetic he is—but pathetic in a way that makes her mad rather than disgusted. How dare he let someone other than her do that to him? He’s supposed to be hers. No one else should have been able to touch him, let alone violate him. She doesn’t get why it made him upset exactly, but she understands enough to know that it enrages her.

Because, see, Y/N is a monster in the truest sense of the word. Sure, she’s intelligent, but emotionally, she’s an animal first and foremost. Cold, cunning, but still ruled by primal instincts. She knows how to act like a human when it suits her, but at the end of the day, she doesn’t empathize—she claims people, consumes what’s weak, and destroys what angers her. And Anissa? She’s a rival predator, a lesser one, one that dared to lay claim to something Y/N sees as hers. That’s the part that gets under her skin the most. The idea that Mark is hers—her pet, her mate, her property, her obsession—and someone had the audacity to steal from her? Yeah, no, Anissa just signed her own death sentence.

And that’s when she decides Anissa needs to suffer.

Does she rip her apart right then and there? No. That would be too easy. Too merciful. She’s the apex predator, the undisputed top of the chain, and this? This arrogant, lesser creature dared to touch what’s hers? She’d take her time.

And Anissa gets something special. Y/N tears her apart and rebuilds her into something that’s more to her liking. Her bones extend and curl, her limbs break and reform, her mouth stretches wide in a silent, soundless scream as her body becomes an amalgamation of all the failures that came before her. Clawed hands twitch, a second head nearly forms and then melts back into the grotesque new flesh as Anissa loses herself in endless, endless pain. A writhing, grotesque, ever-changing form of flesh and bone that never settles—never finds peace. A perpetual state of transformation. She molds Anissa into something that can’t even understand itself anymore. Because really, who does this bitch think she is? Did she really thought she could do whatever she wanted to him and get away with it? No, only Y/N is allowed to ruin Mark.

And then Y/N leaves her like that. Not dead—because that would be a mercy. Just awake enough to feel it, to be it, a distorted creature of twitching muscle and glossy skin that drips with its own existence.

[churrobird]

"okay, okay, okay! uhm! close your eyes, please?"

under his mask, clown allowed himself a fond smile, watching as ros anxiously bounced on her toes in front of him.

he had been sitting in his room in the castle, polishing one of his enchanting daggers, when the architect had knocked on his door. she had poked her head in, beaming with nervous delight at the sight of him, and had told him that she had a gift for him.

"a gift?"

"yes! a gift! i've made everyone hats for the ball- obviously, i already gave you yours, but... i decided to make something else for you!"

that brought them to now. obediently, he shut his eyes, his keen ears picking up rustling as, presumably, ros pulled something from her inventory.

"you're not peeking, right?" he heard ros question, a hesitant skepticism in her voice.

"and ruin such a grand surprise from the royal architect herself? of course not, my dear ros!" clown replied, shifting his voice into his grandiose "archmage" accent

pride bubbled in his chest as he heard ros barely suppress a giggle. that silly voice had always made her laugh, so naturally, he did it as much as possible around her.

"no, i believe you! just hold out your hands!"

no sooner than had he followed the command, something was placed into his open grasp. ros' hands guided his own to firmly hold the object. he ran his fingers over it, attempting to figure out what it was before he opened his eyes. it was round, convex, and cold. even with his gloves preventing him from feeling the finer grooves, he could tell that there were streaks of a different material in the middle, with a smoother, glossier texture than the rest.

"okaaaayy... open your eyes!" ros said, and so he did.

in his hands was a mask. white porcelain, with a wide grin and cross-like eyes just like the one already on his face. the difference was the thick cracks of gold that ran down the length of the entire mask, as if binding together the different shards of porcelain. he reverently ran his thumb over the cheek of the mask, admiring the whorls of red and gold paint that decorated the rest of it.

it took him a moment to reply, so enraptured by the design, before he quickly realized that ros had slowly been going tense, clearly worried that his silence was one of displeasure. he snapped back to reality, quick to assure her, "oh, i love it, ros! it's wonderful."

her entire body sagged with relief, "oh, thank you, thank you! i got the idea for the gold cracks after reading a book about pottery! it's called "kintsugi"- when you repair broken pottery with gold? it took me... a couple of tries to get it right."

"how many is 'a couple'?" he asked, playfully.

her pause spoke volumes, and she meekly mumbled, "sixteen...."

he snickered, and had to hold back a snort at her adorable pout.

he then returned his attention to the mask, and was suddenly struck by an intense thought, an urge:

try it on.

unseen, his gaze flickered back up to ros, who had continued rambling softly about how frustrating the failed fifteen attempts were. normally, he would have listened to every word from ros' mouth with rapture, but his brain was fixated on the thought.

he didn't want to wait for ros to leave. no, his mind called, despite all reason, try it on now.

but that would require ros to see my face, he thought back, and...

he wasn't bothered by that, actually. he hadn't shown anyone his face on the realm, a hesitance always keeping him from doing so, but he had long since decided that ros and sneeg would be the first. it was just a matter of... when he finally felt comfortable.

and finally, his subconscious decided that that moment was right now, apparently. a bit overdue, honestly.

without allowing himself to second guess himself, he pulled back his jester hood, letting his curly black hair spill free. he distantly heard ros make a confused, questioning noise, and as he fumbled with the clasp of the straps on the back of his head, he heard a loud, startled squeak as she realized what was happening.

he finally managed to one-handedly undo the clasp, and after pulling it off, he was met with the sight of ros having jumped back a few inches, her hands desperately smacked over her eyes.

he couldnt help but smile teasingly at her antics, "ros?"

"you- wuh- huh!?" she stuttered out, bewildered. "you- you were taking off your mask!"

"yes, i was?"

"but!? your face!? i cant see your face!!"

"why not, ros?"

"because- because you're really private about that!?"

affection flooded through him, and his teasing smile became more soft. it was truly touching how ros was so respectful of his private nature, even when he couldn't be more obvious about where his boundaries laid now.

placing both masks on the desk in front of him, he stood, reaching forward and cupping one of ros' hands with his own. she startled, clearly having not heard him get closer in her reeling.

"ros," he muttered coyly, "why would i take my mask off right in front of you if i didn't want you to see my face?"

the architect opened her mouth to retort, then quickly shut it again, her face flushing in embarrassment, "i.. well! i was just... caught off-guard, you know!? you gave me no warning that something so important would happen, clown!"

something so important, his heart echoed. he didn't know how she managed to burrow her words so thoroughly into him without even intending to.

he patted the back of her hand, urging her to move it, "well then, roscumber, i'm telling you now. i want you to look at my face."

there was a pause as she nodded at his words. she took in a shaky breath, as if hyping herself up, before she finally tore her hands away from her face, taking clown's hand with them.

he could tell the moment she registered what she was looking at when she froze, her darting eyes her only remaining movement. he could tell when she took in his red irises, his crooked-from-battle nose, the facial scars he acquired from porcelain-cracking crystals and axe strikes.

he didn't break eye contact with her, even as his heart pounded in his chest.

finally, the silence broke,

"oh..." ros whispered softly, as if she didn't realize he could hear her. "you're really pretty, clown."

against his will, he could feel his cheeks grow warm, such a sincere compliment taking him off guard. he saw the moment ros realize she had said that aloud, her face violently flushing an adorable pink.

"what!?" she yelped as he began to laugh, "i'm right!"

she smacked her hands over her mouth, clearly not having meant to say that either, and he laughed harder as she let a muffled, frustrated yell into her hands.

"well, i'm glad you think that, ros. you're pretty too, you know." he winked at her.

he savored the smile that tugged at her lips, despite her embarrassment, "aww... thank you, clown."

"always, ros. now! there was a reason why i decided to show you my face now." he announced, only getting a glimpse of her perking up as he turned back towards the desk.

he picked up the kintsugi mask delicately, before placing it into its creator's hands.

"i want you to help me try it on, ros."