#thank you for tagging me in this bc now i have so many thoughts
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satoruxx · 3 months ago
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. RHEYA . i’m literally just abt to fall asleep but i saw your wips and OHHHHHHHHH MY GOD I’M KISSING YOUR BRAIN SO LOVINGLY .
I NEED . TO KNOW . ABOUT say you'll love me to death, because i will. VAMP SASHISU 🥹 RHEYA’S VAMP SASHISU 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I THINK ABOUT THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY YOU KNOWWWWWWWW……. AND ANDDDD ALSO the illusion of a regime!!!! pretty please!!!!!!! that whole au sounds so fun….. prince!sugu my ANGEL boy
I LOVE YOUU . please remember to eat a big meal and drink lots of water if you haven’t today <3333 THE MICE ARE PATIENTLY AWAITING ANY CRUMBS YOU WILL GIVE THEMMM we adore you so fervently <333 mwah mwah mwah !!!!!!!
ARIIIII omg omg pls sleep i will answer all of your questions so you can wake up to them tomorrow !!
okay okay first vamp sashisuuuuu!!!!!! tbh i wanted to write more after that one drabble of the different ways they drink blood (which was born bc of you ty for the brainrot MWAH MWAH) i think i want to elaborate on how reader meets the three of them hehe !! gotta tell everyone how those three get their hands on reader and become lovingly obsessed with them mhm :33
OH EM GEE YES MY ROYALTY AU!!!!!! ari i can't tell you how excited i was when i started writing it last year <///3 i started out with satoru's path bc that's what inspired the whole thing and then i started thinking about what tropes the other silly guys would be. couldn't make suguru anything but a prince !!! but like... i didn't want to make it all sunshine and rainbows so i figured why not make them enemies??
prince sugu and princess reader who hate each other from the moment they first meet as kids. suguru thinks reader is too immature and reader thinks suguru is too stuck up. and then when they both grow up??? suguru is the golden child and he does sweeten a lil bit but reader does not forget how annoying he was when they were kids :// reader just continues to be salty and suguru somehow finds himself enjoying that :33
eventually he's just like oh yeah i might be in love with you (especially when you're annoyed at me......) he is so pathetically silly he's probably just sitting there watching princess reader hate on him with a smile on his face like :>
added in the arranged marriage part just for fun tbh bc imagine how annoyed they'd both be when they're forced to get to know each other before they get married....
anyways THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS ARI!!!! i'm so so excited for the royalty au you have no idea !! i also haven't written a whole bunch of sugu fics so i'm very eager to sink my teeth into this one :33 i am hugging and kissing all of the mice so many times i love you <3333
ask me about my wips !!
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boxwinebaddie · 7 days ago
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🎸 happy uncneen pepinursteppermint wintereve 🍬 ❤️‍🔥
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❤️🤘 + ft. how i think my styles would say HYH
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#;careless watcher: turn your gaze upon this wretched thing.#thats the face tag because i love to laugh#thank g0d i am not in the field i'm in right now because i have to go through extensive therapy because now i can take insane#pictures of me with no remorse LeTSSSSSS GOOOooOOo#bc i nuked my blog i do think this post is between me and *apathetic spiteful kenny n fratboy fuckb0i clydvc* the G-MAN#but either way *rs doing the sexc raven voice and trying to badly conceal his identity and woo jk vc* usually i get...#~wined and dined~ before strange boys make themselves at home in my lap so god: take notes; i want honey walnut shrimp#not me in the goth edgy boy x basic jewish boy thotmn before ncu stan season ravenstanley beanie the jersey gold s#stan necklace and the sun moon earring and the big comfort nina stan earring and the eye dot sakdhlaskd can you tell i'm#using my fanfic to cope? helpsajdklj rip i have been wearing fake reading glasses and wearing the glass heart necklace#to microdose being both the boys at the same time when i am out in public so i can relax sdhk rip AGAIN its helping me thinks#but it goes against the letter spelling in sign language but i think rock on/ily peace and rock on ily is the style scribing HYH#either way its my birthday i was feeling euphoric or manic or insane or all three and now i have bangs and i am drinking#the peppermint beer to cope with my 13k fanfic and my 150+ page blog being deleted and losing all 100 followers on here#and all my fanfiction followers in a grand mal level panic attack :( so we all ( like 3 ppl ) have to cope with my weird face#and my lame gen x peace signs and gigantic scary foreboding eyeballs and strange behavior for tonight and tomorrow#where i will drinking to forget and rewriting remember fML but i am excited bc its gonna be extra good now even if its just#for me -- as it should be: but whoever is here and along for the ride pls know i'm thankful for you and my birthday tomorrow#is also yours: you mean everything to me...also i might make a holiday playlist just to laugh -- also should i pierce my nose?#peppermint stan era? i have been thinking about him a lot ( no nyquil i promise ) that and my eyebrow...many rstan thoughts#i am drafting their outfits at the moment and it is giving me so much Joy; they are so FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIONE LIKE MAAAANnN#its a spoiler but i am putting rm: relit ravenstan in the ~Save Rock: Fuck A Rockstar~ tanktop bc i love to laugh#you don't even need a match that man LIGHTS IT UUUP BITch#hOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO woO wW z AAAAh#he really is my MAAAN i love him so bad AND ohmyGOD jkyle in the bif columbia sweatshirt & 2014 messy tumblr girl bun?!??!#sCRUMDIDDLYUMpCIOUSSSSSSS HIT ME BABY /ONE/ /MORE/ /tImE/ KSDHskldh hOOOoooOoOo K.O. kNoCKAHWT#JERSEYKYLE CAN BEAT MY ASS ANYTIME FREE OF CHARGE: i will pay him in easy a bitcoin or target giftcards like his lil boytoys do ;)#EloHIM if you WWWWWWWWWWWWWILL and he won't call you lmaOOOOooO ( he is my problematique fave: he rlly is xx )#wASTE THEIR TIIIIiiIIIIIIIIIIIIME JERSEYpICKMECHOOSeM--#anywaYsss alexa play the pop punk cover of dancing queen ft me taylor swift half white girl swaying sipsy in the M0sh P1t <3
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james-spooky · 3 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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averlym · 1 year ago
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HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical
:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf
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have a doodle of the saints :3
#this is kinda because on someone's insta i saw one of the saints doing a peace sign dksajh have smth silly#adamandi#ask me stuff???#realising i have to put my tags at the beginning before rambles or tumblr won't catch it#i am into adamandi. now. this is terrible timing because exam season but hMM the academic grindset really resonates now huh#the moment i caught myself in the ao3 tag i was like ''oh.''#i have so many thoughts. so many many thoughts. im so insane about this musical actually. also the fandom so far seems so nice#also yeah! the number of people who know about it is quite small huh.. it makes me kinda feel like im infiltrating the group... ?#late to the party as ever. but it's. so so good. such a musical ever the brainrot is real#also the way the creators themselves are active on tumblr :OO rly cool. ngl the tags they left under my posts had me#giggling screaming kicking my feet etcetera... and bc apparently i thrive off positive reinforcement that sparked the whole cut fruit art..#i am itching to know about the track thing with portia. also portrix real the lesbians keep winning!! also also i may have spent half a day#internet stalking ><. secret pinterest boards where :O#anyway thank you for the ask anon idk how to answer concisely but yes. adamandi. oh my god.#miscellany: can we appreciate ambrose's high notes.. also i was on wiki reading about ''apollonian vs dionysian'' it's insane#on yet another note. im entering my lin era rn i think. what a time. where can i run so true + vincent's surname my beloved. forest imagery#side note? tiny little detail i'd love to do smth about in the future: in word to the wise there's smth about “appraising your rings” and i#the one who pulls the strings beatrix mentions “bought my classmates rings” like. kjdfhsgjkhd???? thinks.#.. but new fav musical unlocked is all#between this and watt i am maybe into my murder musical era. confession that i don't do horror much because i have an overactive imaginatio#but like those two hit the spot. and i think organic imagery.. blood visuals.. is very cool// and the moment you start looking at literal#life and death situations then the dramaticness especially comes in and that's fun!! // also i read smth today about tragedy making you#appreciate irl stuff more. like ''wow thats messed up im sure glad that isnt me i love life''. and lowkey?? yeah
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laesas · 2 years ago
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did you ever make a post about pete not liking tankhun ? i know you mentioned it a few times in your tags but i don't remember seeing a post. (i share your opin ions.)
I definitely toyed with the idea of meta or a gifset but I didn't ever make a full post! I love unrequited love and I ESPECIALLY love the extremely rare platonic version which Tankhun and Pete absolutely nail in my opinion!
There are loads of moments where Pete's smile drops around Tankhun very quickly, or he insults Tankhun behind his back. Instead of laughing things off like Arm and Pol, he almost has a wincing fear-response to Tankhun, which we don't really see at all from the other bodyguards.
I think that Tankhun likes to think of himself as being close friends with his bodyguards, and he does genuinely show a lot of open affection for Pete and eventually concern for his safety. But I think ultimately for Pete, Tankhun is just a part of Pete's job, and over time resentment has built up until he thinks of Tankhun as one of the *worst* parts of it. I definitely don't think he resents Tankhun enough to hurt or endanger him, but that's about as far as it goes, there's certainly very little love there.
Something about that dynamic is just particularly brilliant, especially when combined with Pete's eventual defection from Tankhun's side to Vegas'. He chooses a man who has beaten and tortured him over a man who showers him in affection and throws parties on his return.
I utterly adore Tankhun but I think as a character that's grown up in a gilded cage, he doesn't really understand that what Pete needs is a sense of his own autonomy rather than being dragged to "fun" "lets cheer up Pete" parties that Tankhun has demanded on his behalf. At least with Vegas he *chose* to go back, he handed Vegas the ropes, let him lock him back up again. Even before he develops feelings for Vegas, Pete has clearly felt like a subhuman pet for Tankhun and the main family for a long, long time and I think ironically Vegas acknowledging Pete's humanity is the tipping point for him.
I think even without their nascent romantic love as a factor, Pete would always choose Vegas. Because despite the threat of suffering, he offers a sense of freedom that Tankhun's gilded cage does not. It all makes for an incredibly interesting betrayal, and makes Pete choosing Vegas over Tankhun all the more pointed. By choosing to be Vegas' pet, he chooses to be human.
#I have had this gifset concept rattling round my brain since before I even learned to make gifs#if I didn't have so many complicated feelings about Pete after the whole Build situation I'd make it in a heartbeat tbh#my worry is that it would either be taken as a ''hating on Pete'' set and I'd get mad shit for it in my inbox#(despite it being one of my fave facets of his character)#or it would be interpreted as a ''Build's acting appreciation!'' post which tbf it kinda would be.#theres no getting away from the fact that he shaped Pete into a very interesting and nuanced character#but you wouldn't catch me dead making a ''Captain Jack Sparrow appreciation'' set even if I loved POTC as much as KPTS yknow?#like theres only so much distance I can split the character from the actor. which sucks bc Pete as a character was one of my favourites#idk. probably not the ideal answer lol#my first instict was to just make the set since it was all planned out from like december#but since January my love for Pete as a character has mostly been in a little box on a high shelf that I do not ever touch. which is sad#but it is what it is ig#anyway lol 👀#tankhun theerapanyakul#pete kp#tankhun kp#kp meta#ask#anon#watch me deliberately not putting that shit in the pete tag out of fear#anyway back on the high shelf you go little pete feelings. lets go back to simply not acknowledging u once more lol 🥲✨#goddamn I deliberately hadnt thought about him in months but now I kinda miss Pete... :( I love this ask though thank u for sending it! 🦔✨#damn rereading this its like girl. do you have an unrequited love for commas?? fucking use them?? :) anywaY#kpts
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anotherpapercut · 8 months ago
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working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do
#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me#like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that#and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already#bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back#and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess#but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise#and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help#and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out#and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao#and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw#like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way#and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt#and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years#to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad#she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it#long ass tag story sorry
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hood-ex · 8 months ago
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bro. i’ve been following u for like 2-3 years and for some reason i just can’t believe you’ve been in this fandom for so long and how active u r lmao, so just wanted to say thank u for feeding me with dick grayson content all these years 💗💗💗
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goldentigerfestival · 1 month ago
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Forgot to post this earlier but I did in fact comb the entire Vesperia script to determine how many times he uses ま/まあ throughout the game, along with a few other phrases he uses repeatedly. This counts all of main story, every single sidequest, and every single skit in the game.
Final counts were:
ま/まあ: 280
Ma/Maa; translates to "well". He uses this at the beginning of a sentence usually, but it's sometimes in the middle. "Ma" is usually more quick and snappy. "Maa" is more thoughtful and/or prolonged. Obviously it can vary based on context, but that's the general breakdown.
んじゃ and any variants: 133
Nja, along with variants such as "ja", "soreja", etc. Variants are counted when they're all used to express "let's get going", when they're about to head off ("ja" could be used in a sentence such as "ja/but then, why is xyz like this", etc). They encompass translations such as "well then" (let's get going implied. includes "so then", "then" "alright then", and so on), "we should be off", "let's get going", "let's go", etc. (not to be confused with 行こう(ikou), 行くぜ, (ikuze), and other similar versions of this phrase. That can also mean "let's go", but any instances of Yuri using that particular phrase was not counted because it wasn't a variant of, specifically, んじゃ, which is also his most common "let's go" ja variant).
おい / おいおい: 66
Oi/Oi oi; translates to "hey"/"hey, hey", though "oi" is more or less an accepted word in English nowadays.
おっと: 12
Otto (not to be confused with "oto", referring to sound); an expression of surprise that can translate roughly to "whoa there" (which is the most common translation I do see for it and what I'd use in most cases too, context of course varying). The reason I included this one despite it being so seemingly low in number is because it's not a particularly common expression, much less one used multiple times by a single character? It's so rare from anyone else, which is just a regular thing relative to Yuri and his dialogue/speech (i.e. most characters sparingly use phrases repeatedly, as compared to Yuri... as you can see lol. Other characters use these words/phrases, but nowhere near as regularly, if regularly at all).
Realized along the way I should've included やれやれ (yare yare, "good grief", "oh dear", "oh boy" etc), but by the time I realized I should have in case it was an interesting count, I was too far into the script to be able to handle going all the way back through it LOL.
No. No, I am not joking that Yuri used ま/まあ 279 times throughout the course of the game. That is to say, it could be more if I missed any, but on the assumption I didn't, that's where it stands.
Why do I love this so much? Because it's a very specific character quirk of a character I adore. I'm very fond of his repetition. Thank you.
#GTF Vesperia Things#GTF Yuri Things#so glad I gave him his own tag jpfjugDFJISHFG he fuckin' needs it#OH ALSO note that I may or may not have (I genuinely don't know I don't THIIIINK I did?) accidentally picked up#the “but then" etc variant of ja. at this point I don't remember and I'd have to go back through my doc of this#bc I was skim-combing the script juggling several phrases mainly for ma. if I ever do a recount I'll confirm lol#also shoutout to Rays for using ま/まあ 68 times for him which is 4 more times than he uses it in Vesp arc 1 main story#I'm both thankful and amazed that Rays' writers ACTUALLY kept it to the correct general extent at large (when you consider the size of#both games and Yuri's role) I've always expressed how dedicated they are to the source material of the legacy chars but#that CEMENTED it LOL. the way they retain speech quirks for legacy chars is amazing and I applaud them#he uses おい / おいおい 54 times throughout Rays#おっと was used 10 times throughout Rays which is hilariously almost identical to Vesp's usage#んじゃ they did keep but I didn't count the amount of times#now MIND YOU Rays is split into 4 arcs prior to Recollection (which he's not in) and has to contend with about 200ish legacy characters#Yuri is largely in arc 4 and has a large chunk of appearances in arc 2#he's mostly absent from arc 3 after the beginning of it and he's not in arc 1 much after the first chapter (which is his chapter)#he does show up in a lot of skits early into Rays tho since they only had so many chars to work with for arc 1 skits#and I also included count of those phrases in events (both skits and events throughout the game)#WHAT I'M SAYING is that Rays still managed to retain his word choice repetitiveness#and managed to get the count that high which is a very accurate reflection of it#while trying to put about 200 legacy chars through a revolving door#they were THAT on the nose with Yuri's quirks and further cements that this is a very Yuri thing#and a character quirk choice that was brought in from the game of origin#and they DID do this with other chars not just him... but the fact that they DID to me means#they thought it was important enough of a quirk to make sure they didn't lose it in his dialogue#WHICH. I AGREE. I AM VERY VERY DEEPLY PLEASED THEY KEPT IT#it just goes to show how dedicated they were in faithfully translating the characters into a gacha game#(not tl in the loc sense but tl in the ''writing a char outside their origin game for a non-origin game appearance'')#it also proved my theory that Yuri's vocal repetition was done intentionally bc they found it part of him enough to carry it over#anyway yeah i have yuri lowell brainrot and he pretty much owns 98 percent of the real estate in my brain these days
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mercurymacaroons · 5 months ago
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woagh 2 posts in one day
#sketch#listen your honor i love him#im unsure if i wanna tag yosuke in this bc theyre like 15 min sketches so i think imma leave it like this and let the lord decide#i know hes not a like the fan fave in persona but somehow the trash boy has grown on me and is now like top 4 for the whole damn franchise#like mold or smth#you just gotta like reimagine him as a very tired repressed bi 16 yr old in a closet made of glass and he immediately becomes more likeable#like bro he works retail and is 16 thats why hes like that#also like the scene from the group date in pq where he goes “all right now we can be partners for all eternity!!!!”#that lives in my head rent free#listen he lives with teddie and works retail#as someone who also worked retail i promise you most of his not kanji related outbursts are justified#the kanji stuff is bad fr fr but like hes also 16 in 2011#let the 1st 16yr old who was not an asshole and uninformed cast the first stone#sorry i have a lot of feelings for 1 yosuke hanamura and i needed to tell all of you in this my diary#which reminds me#most of yall came from me posting about dr which ndrv3 has a very special place in my heart and on my walls#but alas p4 kicked saihara to the curb so idk if ill be making anymore??????? maybe i might in the future but idk im old and tired#and dr is and always will be full of 13 yr olds which is fine but i dont wanna interact with them bc im old#and tired of the same discourse every 6 months#maybe when the not actually but totally is dr4 that kodaka is cooking up drops ill make dr art again but unlikely for rn#once i figure out how p4 protag chan's bowl cut works ill draw boys kissing#i do need to figure out how to draw boys kissing#since it will also lead to figuring out how to draw girls kissing which is almost dare i say more important#anywho thank you for coming to my newest diary entry#i will never stop yapping in the tags#this is a promise#yall gotta know all my thoughts in as many characters and tags tumblr will let me have
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wabblebees · 1 year ago
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never never never in my life gonna be able to beat the weirdo theatre nerd allegations. its midnight and for the last few hours ive been (voluntarily of my own free will At No-One's Behest) doing some character research for the show we're working on (which at a certain level is Absolutely Necessary!! but at *this* level is Absolutely Not. lmfao)(and so... ik for a fact if i mention this in rehearsal tomorrow im gonna get a whole lotta blank stares ((or TERRIFIED looks from the freshmen wondering if they should be doing this much work lmao))
but anyway so about 10 minutes ago i found a fucking essay (just 9 pages out of this philological collection from the 60s) that just the idea behind the Very Simple title made me so excited i had to stand up at my desk to start reading it and fully forgot to sit back down until i realized i wanted to start TAKING NOTES..... WHICH I GENERALLY HATE DOING WHILE READING........ BUT IM TOO EXCITED AND DONT WANNA FORGET ANY OF IT.................. SO IM TAKING FUCKING NOTES
but anyway beyond tHAT the thing that actually made me pause to start typing this post though is the fact that just now, four pages in, this essay finally put something into place that ive been puzzling over in my head since i very first read the play which... made me happystim so hard i almost knocked myself out of my fucking chair. hdkdgsjfkfhdgskdgwrdjfk.
so yeah. never beating the nerd allegations. lmao
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rustinsscohles · 11 days ago
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and with that i do believe that my run with interstellar in imax has come to an end.
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#check out the stats: 4 shows in 7 days. two shows within less than 24 hours of each other#one show that made me drive three hours through the city I hate to get to the imax#tbf I didn’t know that it was coming to my town because the original weekend it was not here#so I had to make the drive. then! I found out my local imax was going to show it so I went three more times lol#truthfully I feel good about it. I could go again tomorrow night at 10pm but I think while I was watching it today#idk something just came over me and I thought ya know what? this is it. this is my last time seeing it in imax#I came to peace with it and im okay with it. it was beautiful to witness. it really helped when i had contacts in instead of glasses#I think we worked through a lot of feelings while watching these four shows. I think we learned a lot about myself too#definitely found some answers we were looking for. definitely opened up some other wounds too but that’s okay#I got to enjoy movies again and really be immersed in cinema so that was a great experience#plus all of this with a movie I already loved so now! it’s boosted my life exponentially#idk how to make an interstellar url which is why we went with rust but like. dammit I owe you my life interstellar#god what a beautiful film. I’ve seen so many bad takes about it too and it’s not like im blinded by my love for it#that I think the takes are bad. no it’s genuinely shit like ‘oh what do you mean they couldn’t figure out how to grow more than just corn?’#like homie you obviously were not paying attention! the earth is dying! (real) and corn is quite literally the only thing left!!!#they have to leave if humanity is going to survive!!!!#anyway. like I said. beautiful film really enjoyed this past week of getting to see AND experience it.#watching it on blu ray now will never be the same#thank you everyone who followed along on this journey and thank you mr McConaughey for giving me your accent for the week#okay last two things: a) im gonna go back and tag all my stuff so I can look back on this time with joy and whimsy#second: here’s my definitive ranking of my viewings of the movie:#first had to be the first time i saw it. nothing is topping that absolutely nothing. experiencing that for the first time and road tripping?#like come on that’s dedication to the art right there. second would be today. feeling at peace knowing it was going to be my last show#and really getting to soak it all in. absolutely. plus I had contacts in so I could see everything lol.#third was yesterday bc yeah I finally got to see everything (again. finally had contacts in) but the audience did make it a little tough#usually im game for a big movie with an audience but there were too many distractions really pulling me out of the experience#last was probably Friday. even though I was jazzed to see it again bc that was the first show in my town there was a kid vaping two seats#away from me and that gave me a headache. plus I had glasses on so again. can’t see part of it bc the frames of said glasses.#thank you to everyone who followed along on this journey! apparently there is a 30 tag limit so last tag:#shelby watches interstellar
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hauntingblue · 3 months ago
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Evangelion movie hello
#So Adam creates angels and Lilith creates Evas but also humans as Shinji's dead bf said... so Evas are humans too? Is that it#asuka IN THE GAME AGAIN!!! YEAAAAHHHH#is her mother the eva.... like maybe its metaphorical but maybe not like shinjis mother maybe is in unit 1 so.... idk man...#rei has herself??? she wouldnt have an ag field without a mother then andjakqk but she does.... idk man#WHAT DID SHINJI DO TO ASUKA. I THOUGHT THAT WAS ONE THING NOT THAT. NOOOOOOOO#NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MISATOOOOOOOOOOO#asuka i will get you out of there i promise#ritsuko's paceful face when pointing a gun at ikari sr ajdiajqiq yeah....#what did this fucking evil man say... cant even say a true fucking thing to a dead woman... DIEEEEE#“thanks to the five (5) women that helped bring this picture to its completion” just the voice actresses yeah i can tell#not the tit touch again.... is this a theme or what... what am i supposed to get from this the heart is in the middle my guy#REI YES!!!! KILL HIM FIRST REI!!! DO HIS HEAD NOW!!!#im sorry... why is rei so scary but then whatever she is turns to a manic pixie dream boy and shinji cries of joy akdhaisjsisk GAY!!!#there is so much to say about this but i am afraid i might be too dumb for it bc nothing comes out but alas im having fun#asuka is shinjis foil but why are they doing this#“does misato really do things like that” refering to sex is the most 14 yo thing that shinji has ever said i get it. everyone does it shinji#i think there is enough what women are triad things in here.... can we stop.... sister mother lover.... woman scientist mother...#we get it you dont get women i thought shinji was opposing kaji by not understanding him when he said men and women are separate...#figured out what an at field is.... thank you thank you.... its what encapsulates your person and ego i get it now....20 minutes left aldhsk#shinji out of all people being the brain.... nepotism bc yui came up with all of this i guess#jumpscared by the real footage after the fuckfest#the footage of the people at the screenings of the movie.... i can't imagine seeing this in a cinema christ#the cordial handhsake with the thank you 😭😭😭 thats the shinji i know....#rei is the lover sister mother but why is there a boy there too?? akdhakshaksjaj i need answers... is that his father?? shinji you're fucked#maybe freud was right maybe i need to kill the freud that lives inside my head. this will make me introspect after all akdhaks#alright. are they meant to repopulate the earth is that it? do i need to stray out of the christianism of it all? asuka i will get you out!!#i have so many questions... like both in narrative and outside of it#i dont wanna think about it now tho.... sick visuals 10/10 on that front#talking tag#watching evangelion
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choslut · 4 months ago
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˖ ࣪ ، ◞ せ⌇ BLACKOUT. featuring tartaglia.
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↻ the 11th of the fatui harbingers has some... questionable kinks.
tags : asphyxiation, choking, dry humping, sparring kink, hate sex, light dirty talk, death threats, semi-public sex, light spanking, clit slapping, squirting, creampie, loss of consciousness // wc. 1k
author's note : another late one.. don't worry, the next one is all lined up n ready in my drafts !! this is most likely the freakiest one yet bc why does tartaglia have a sparring kink... also this is the heaviest one yet too so please mind sharp of the tags !! someone passes out in this one so be warned. i know you alr know the drill, notes n reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated here but can i remind u not to spam (esp w/o a follow) because that can decrease my reach and my stuff won't show up anymore :( i love you all, thank you for 400 followers and see you in the next one!
this work is NSFW. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT.
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“mmm, fuuuck, you’re a feisty one, aren’tcha, doll?”
you didn’t know what you were signing up for when you decided to spar with the 11th of the fatui harbingers. in fact, you were more forced to spar with him than of your own volition. he thought you were pretty, and he thought you would look even prettier pinned underneath him, panting and begging within an inch of your life. 
what ajax didn’t expect, however, was to be flipped on his back with you straddling atop him, hands closed tightly around his neck. he also didn’t expect that it would feel so good.
blood drips from your forehead and your lip is swollen from one to many punches to the face, but fuck you look so beautiful. “you gonna kill me or what?”
“shut up,” you grunt, squeezing harder. “shut up, shut up, shut up.”
you’re driving him damn near insane. you look angry and feral, and it’s a look that only the most determined of warriors wear during battle. 
as of right now, you’re determined to kill him, or at least make him give up. the thing is, you’ve clearly underestimated the man who calls himself the 11th fatui harbinger. 
“are you… hard?” something big and firm protrudes through his trousers, and he looks up at you, lips cracking into a smile. 
“right on the money, angel.” his hips thrust upwards once, his mind growing hazy at the buzz of adrenaline flowing through his veins. “you gonna squeeze tighter? i’m quite liking this.”
you scowl at him. “you’re disgusting, tartaglia.”
“it’s ajax, baby,” he manages to say through his lack-of-oxygen induced haze. “you gonna call me that while you’re chokin’ me out?”
god, you hate him. god, god god, you want him dead, but you can’t suppress the feeling of victory washing over you. you managed to make a harbinger hard, and all you had to do was threaten to kill him. “why would i give you that pleasure?”
“you seem to be happy enough sittin’ on my dick and trying to kill me, baby, the least you could do is call me by my real name, no?” he has no bargaining chips here, especially since you might actually kill him cold turkey. “move your hips for me.”
“you’re in no position to be making orders.”
“and you’re in a good enough position to get grinding.” when you swivel your hips in the slightest, his hands twitch, trying his hardest not to grip your ass under your skirt desperately. who even wears a skirt to a fight? “hurry it up. i’m starting to get bored.”
this guy. he’s so fucking annoying, but you can’t help but clench around nothing at the way he looks up at you, eyes hooded and lip quirked up in a smirk as he tries to move his hips to no avail, and suddenly, you’re left with two options;
option one: get the fuck off of him and run as far as humanely possible in the hopes that he won’t catch up to you. 
option two: fuck him, and fuck him. 
it’s a good thing that in situations like these, you like to think primarily with your pussy and not your head.
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“ajax!”
“that’s it angel, fuck, you’re doin’ such a good job.”
your skirt is abandoned somewhere in the sparring ring and your breasts spill out of your shirt as you bounce in his lap, eyes squeezed shut and hands latched around his neck, nails digging into its supple flesh. 
oh, he’s liking this. you swear he grows two times bigger every time you squeeze on his neck, and your eyes roll into the back of your head as his tip bumps your cervix. this is the deepest position possible, and he’s hitting you just right, despite being delirious from the lack of oxygen flowing to his brain from your hands around his neck. 
when you decided to fuck him, he gave you one order and one order only; hold on tight. and damn did he give you the ride of your life, because you’re twitching atop him, hands attaching and detaching from his neck as you struggle to keep your consciousness afloat. 
whilst your hands stay wound around his bruised neck, his hands are seemingly everywhere. one moment he’s squeezing your tits through your torn shirt and the next he’s spanking your ass, warning you that he’s going to speed up and that you need to hold on tighter unless you want to fall off. 
“ ‘m close-!” you warn him of your impending orgasm, hands trembling around his neck as he starts to deepen his thrusts. you can barely focus on the look of his face, but the bastard is smiling, his own eyes starting to flutter shut as he starts to see dark spots clouding his vision. ajax is about to pass out, but he doesn’t even deserve such a luxury without feeling you cum all over his cock. 
with what little strength he has left in his arms, he slides his hand from your ass to your clit and gives it tight little slaps, eyes urging you to cum as his mouth drops open in ecstasy. this feeling, having you not only squeeze his throat but his cock too, has him delirious, and he totally thinks he could become completely addicted. 
“cum f’me, angel. come on, c’mon, i wanna fucking feel it, baby…” he uses the last of the oxygen in his lungs to give you one final command, and as ajax blacks out, he feels you squirt on it, plastering your juices all over the floor of the sparring ring before collapsing on top of him. 
in his newly (and partially short lived) vegetative state, his cock pumps you full, his seed leaking out of the creases in your cunt. it takes a couple of seconds for you to come to, and when you do, you’re faced with a sprawled out ajax on the floor, eyes just closed and lips parted gently. 
you panic momentarily because you think you’ve actually killed him, until you see those damn lips of his stretch into a smile. “thank you doll.”
you’re definitely not sparring with this freak again.
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PREVIOUS : BABY MOMMA ft. k. nanami NEXT : SAY ‘AAH’ ft. wriothesley
liked that? check out the WE'RE SO BACK main masterlist.
© choslut 2024 — do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission. chain divider by @/cafekitsune
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lewisvinga · 11 months ago
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my mistake | lando norris x fem! reader
summary; lando had been chasing after oscar’s friend, y/n for a couple months now. he’s confused on why she keeps dismissing him until he finally got his answer
fc; nailea devora
warnings; cursing
taglist; @namgification
note; requested !
masterlist !
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others
yourusername: thank u mclaren n oscar for having me 🧡
tagged; oscarpiastri, mclaren
mclaren: always a joy to have you😎🧡
username: pretty girls stan y/n
oscarpiastri: ur annoying
yourusername: god forbid a girl ask for food
oscarpiastri: i kept getting weird stares bc you made me get you 4 plates of food.
yourusername: THE CHICKEN PASTA WAS GOOD🙎‍♀️🙎‍♀️🙎‍♀️🙎‍♀️
username: her friendship w oscar is everything
username: PAPAYAAA
landonorris: you’re forgetting someone 🤔
yourusername: no i don’t think so
landonorris: a handsome brit? 😁
yourusername: oh! lewis😁
landonorris: i meant me…
yourusername: ok !
username: lando😭
Y/N L/N ANSWERS YOUR FAN QUESTIONS!
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lando👍
y/n
y/n
y/n🌷
what now lando
lando👍
what happened to u and why’d u distance yourself from f1😁
y/n🌷
none of ur business
lando👍
pleaseeee
aren’t we bffs😁😁😁
y/n🌷
no we are not
you just got my number from osc
lando 👍
well i’m not leaving you alone until you tell me
y/n
y/nnnnnn
answer
answer
answer
pleaseeeeeee🙏
y/n🌷
you really don’t remember?
lando👍
no?
y/n🌷
2019
i was starting to gain a following but nothing like what i have now
and i went to a race and i was so excited to be there and then i saw you
of course i was happy to see you but then when i smiled, you just rolled your eyes at me and looked really annoyed at me
and that hurt , lando
lando👍
shit
y/n i honestly don’t remember
but fuck i’m sorry
y/n🌷
whatever im over it
just sucks when someone you’re a fan of acts annoyed by u xx
but then i met osc and now he’s my friend so now i’m back into this f1 shit
lando👍
y/n seriously i’m so sorry
it was my mistake, i must’ve thought you were someone else
let me make it up to you
y/n🌷
it’s fine lando
past is past but just wanted you to know
lando👍
no i wanna make it up
y/n🌷
i said it’s fine
lando👍
nope!
not until i can make u laugh
at least let me take you out for lunch
y/n🌷
hmmmmm
fine
but i’m gonna order a feast
lando👍
fine by me😁
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and others
yourusername: how does 1 live knowing that u invited someone out for food only to steal their fries ….. #landonorrisisover
tagged; landonorris
landonorris: u got full after 3 bites of your burger
yourusername: wrong it was 4! and it was a very big n filling burger!!
landonorris: omg u finally posted me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
yourusername: don’t make me delete this post, lando norris 😒
username: i just know lando is giggling knowing he finally made it to a y/n post
username: did months of lando norizz flirting in her comments actually pay off??
oscarpiastri: wow.
yourusername: omw w fries for u don’t worry pooks
landonorris: worry if i eat them all
oscarpiastri: shut up lando norizz
lilyzneimer: miss u sm🥹🥹
yourusername: i miss u more💔 lmk when ur going to a race 😞
username: y/n gorgeous omg
username: wait who is that???
username: f1 driver and teammates w y/n friend oscar!
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and others
lando.jpg: the gf chronicles
tagged; yourusername
yourusername: fuck u and those stupid burgers and ur stupid jokes and ur stupid cute smile and the latte u bought me
lando.jpg: don’t worry guys she just hasn’t had her afternoon nap yet
yourusername: i’m so tired 😞😞
yourusername: bf🔥
lando.jpg: gf🔥
username: oh hello
username: wHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
username: she’s scute i love her sm
username: idk who i want more him or her
carlossainz55: about time ! i didn’t know how many more calls of you talking about y/n i could handle!😂😂
yourusername: awh he talks abt me??
lando.jpg: not you exposing me, carlos 😒
oscarpiastri: fuck you you left me with half of my fries that time
lando.jpg: they were good sorry not sorry
yourusername: bro he’s such a fries stealer, i can’t ever eat my fries in peace
lando.jpg: tomato tomato
2K notes · View notes
lacroixqueen · 4 months ago
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a little bit possessive (deadpool x reader) he gets jealous bc of your wolvie keychain
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Summary: deadpool loves when you wear his merch. he gets possessive when he sees a wolverine keychain on your bag
Pairing: deadpool x fem!reader
Word Count: 941, very short one-shot
Tags: fluff, jealousy, possessiveness, yandere, teasing, banter
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Wade liked it when you wore his merch. 
Like that big, oversized t-shirt you sometimes wore to lounge around on the couch and watch TV. It had his name and face plastered all over it. 
Or the mini keychain you had of him hung around your lanyard.  
And that little mini Deadpool action figure you tucked into the corner of your bookshelf, watching over you as you slept.
He even loved it when you incorporated subtle hints of him into your everyday wardrobe, like a red mini skirt or a black spiked choker. 
It made him feel like you belonged to him. Like he owned you. 
Until he saw you one day walking casually around the mall with a… was that a Wolverine charm dangling on your purse?
He followed closely behind you as you walked toward a nearby boba store, slightly annoyed by how loudly your heels clacked against the vinyl floor. But he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t staring at your ass in those booty shorts the entire time. Or your little waist in that ridiculous crop top..
Before you could turn in, he yanked you by that stupid Wolverine charm, pulling your purse and entire body towards him. 
You gasped, almost stumbling over before instinctively grabbing his arm, steadying yourself and catching your breath. 
“Wade?!” you cried, looking up into the vapid white ellipses that stared blankly at you. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Who, me?” he asked with a fake ignorance, letting go of the Wolvie charm, causing you to stumble back a few steps. “Oh, I was just strolling around the neighborhood in search of a honey brown sugar milk tea when I just so happened to run into something even sweeter instead! It’s not like I have been following you intensely for the past couple of hours or anything. That would be extremely creepy and not something a good ally would do.”
“Uh huh,” you said, folding your arms across your chest. “And what exactly do you want today?”
“Baby, you’re being so cold!” he whined, his fingertip instinctively twirling around a lock of your hair. “I just wanted to check in, see how life has been treating ya, that’s all. Why are you so suspicious all of a sudden?”
“You never just ‘check in’, Wade,” you countered, unconvinced. “You are always looking for something.”
“Well, now that my cover has been blown,” the assassin muttered as he snatched the Wolverine keychain again, yanking you even closer to him. “What the fuck is this?”
“You mean my Logan charm?” you said, grabbing it out of his hand. “Yeah, what about it?”
A flash of anger jolted through him the moment he heard you say ‘my’ and some other guy’s name in the same sentence. 
“Your Logan charm?” he repeated, holding his stance. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I went to an arcade with friends and won it from a game,” you replied. “And also, I don’t have to explain anything to you. It’s none of your business.”
“Well why did you pick a Wolvie charm and not a me charm?” he pried, voice darkening as his hand rested on the curve of your waist. “I thought I was your favorite, Y/N.”
“Um, no you aren’t,” you snapped back, a blush slowly creeping over your cheeks as you felt him hold you so abruptly and so automatically. “I like lots of different heroes and lots of different characters, you’re just one of them.”
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah.”
“Then you probably wouldn’t mind if I did this,” he teased, unlatching the Wolverine charm from your purse strap and holding it over your head. “I’ll just take this, it’s all mine now thank you very much. Not that you would mind, of course. Since you have soooo many different heroes, right?”
“Hey!” you exclaimed, standing up on your tippy toes and trying to reach as he dangled it over your head like a ball of yarn to a helpless kitten. “Give it back Wade, it’s mine!”
“Not until you admit it,” he smirked, taking a few steps back as you jumped up in an attempt to retrieve the charm. 
“Admit what?” you cried, quite exasperated at this point. 
“That I’m your favorite,” he said, smiling to himself since he knew he had already won.
“Fine, you’re my favorite,” you conceded with a twinge of sarcasm, extending your hand out. “Now can you please give it back.”
“Uh uh, I want you to say it with feeling,” he urged, trying to hold back his own laughter. “Like you actually mean it.”
“Okay, you’re my favorite Wade,” you capitulated. “Now can you hand him over?”
“Wait, really?!” he yelped out with glee. “You really mean that?”
“Yes, Wade,” you sighed. 
“Like, you think it’s super sexy?” he pushed, dropping the Wolvie keychain back into your hand. “When I stabby stabby the bad guys? And baby knife ‘em in the neck? And shoot people in the face? That turns you on, right? Right?”
“Yes, Wade, it gets me so hot,” you said, rolling your eyes as you re-attached the Logan charm to your bag. “Now can you please leave me alone now?”
“Alright, but only if you promise to throw that thing away when you get home,” he bargained, ruffling up your hair into a tousled mess. “Okay, sweetheart?”
“Wade!” you yelped, but at the same time trying to stifle a giggle. You loved and hated when he was so possessive of you. But it also reminded you why you fell so hard for him in the first place.
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sluttysnowangel666 · 5 months ago
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The Wolf & The Wildling
Part 2 to The Woman Beyond the Wall, last part.
masterlist
Summary: One year after Cregan’s near death experience with the wildling woman he met, he returns beyond the wall to find and recruit her in hopes of fighting alongside him for Rhaenyra Targaryen at the start of the Dance of Dragons.
cw; smut af come on you know me, really rough cregan, overstimulation, bit of angst but a happy ending :3, talks of SA, childbirth, no use of Y/N but an x reader,
stop not me getting emotional at my own story bc i imagined the end of scott street by PB playing at the ending😭am i a cornball?? anyways, thank you to the anons in my asks for the inspo, i wasn’t even really sure how to continue this story, although i knew i wanted more for cregan and his wildling, you guys gave me the inspiration i needed to give them their ending! tag list: @rebeccawinters
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Every day Cregan hadn’t gone back out there felt like another day wasted.
He struggled to do his duties, struggled to sleep, fight, listen, do anything that required attention from him.
And yet despite their rather harsh separation, Cregan still thought of her with every free moment he had. It didn’t help many lords were also insisting the Warden of the North marry a noble daughter. He knew he had to do his duty, but couldn’t find the strength to do it.
It had been so long since he’d seen her that he’d begun to forget his favorite parts about her. It felt as if her strange laugh no longer echoed in his mind, as if he could no longer envision her scarred yet still smoothed skin.
He had the dagger with him always. It was like keeping a piece of her with him. He remembered the pain so vividly, could still feel the throb in his shoulder if he thought about it too hard.
Yet, the ache was nothing compared to the painful thought that always seemed to stay in his mind.
Would he ever see her again?
He couldn’t help but wonder if the Gods had greater plans for them. He prayed that they did.
“My Lord.” A voice interrupted Cregan from his thoughts. He stood, turning to face the person. “A raven has arrived from Dragonstone.”
Cregan took the scroll from the maester, quickly opening it to reveal its contents. It was a letter from Rhaenyra Targaryen. She was sending her son in hopes of gaining the support of the North, and requested Cregan have an audience with her heir, Jacaerys.
He would have to return to the Wall.
He hadn’t returned, much to the dismay of the Nights Watch, since he had nearly died from his wildling’s arrows. Even the thought of going near the Wall made his heart skip a beat. She would be so close, yet so far. He knew he could no longer avoid the wall. His duty to the men there was dire, and he had let his own fears get in the way of that.
As for his lover, he wasn’t even sure she still wanted him. As far as he knew, she hated him; she wanted to put an arrow through his eye, his dagger through his chest. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to see her again. No lady had ever compared to her. He had found his other half, and now felt empty without her.
If he did find her, what would he even do? They were bonded by love, yet separated by more than a Wall.
The separation would soon not matter anymore.
Winter is coming.
———
A fortnight later
Castle Black
Cregan had welcomed the prince to Winterfell, then accompanied him to the Wall.
The young men walked, discussing terms of Cregan’s service.
“In winter, my duty to the Wall is even more dire than the one I owe to King’s Landing. I need my men here.” Cregan says to his prince.
“Whilst your men guard against wildlings and weather,” Cregan twitched at the word wildling. “the Hightowers plan to usurp the throne. If my mother is to defend her claim to hold the realm united, she needs an army. War is coming, to the whole of the realm my lord. We cannot wage it without the support of the North.”
Jacaerys trails off, standing against the guard that overlooked the entire outside of the Wall.
“My father brought King Jahaerys and Queen Alyssane to see the wall. His Grace stood at this very outlook and watched as their dragons, the greatest power in the world, refused to cross… Do you think my ancestors built a 700 foot wall of ice to keep out snow and savages?”
“What does it keep out?” Jacaerys asks.
Cregan finally looks beyond the Wall for the first time in a year, his mind thinking of her for a brief moment, and then the darkness that lies beyond it. “Death.”
“I have thousands of graybeards who have already seen too many winters. They are… wellhoned. I can ready them to march at once.”
“If your graybeards can fight, the queen will have them.”
“They’ll fight hard.” Cregan says, his mind once again thinking of his love as he says his next words. “Like Northerners.”
Jacaerys senses something; more words that the Warden of the North wished to speak.
“Is there something else you can offer us, My Lord?” Jacaerys asks.
Cregan hesitates. “There is a woman…” He looks. beyond the wall again. “She is fierce, deadly with a bow. If I can find her… I can ask her to lead the graybeards into war.”
“Should she accept, my mother will be more than pleased to have her.” Jacaerys asks.
“My Lord!” Cregan turns, “A raven has arrived… Urgent news from Dragstone.”
Cregan looks at the man holding the scroll, who holds a sight of worry on his face. Cregan quickly opens the scroll, reading its contents.
Cregan looks at the prince, and Jacaerys tries reading the man’s stoic features.
All Cregan can do is hand Jacaerys the scroll, and let him read for himself.
———
Another fortnight passed following the news of the death of Prince Lucerys Velaryon. Jacaerys had left the Wall at once to return to Dragonstone, whilst Cregan began to prepare his graybeards to march.
“My Lord, why must you go back beyond the Wall? The graybeards do not need a leader. I do not think it wise to let them be lead by a woman beyond the Wall, let alone the one who killed the Lord Commander of the Nights Watch.” His maester tells him, worried of how the people of Winterfell and the men on the Wall will react.
“They will not know she’s a wildling. Tis’ not important information. All they need to know is she will lead them well into battle. I trust you’ll keep this information I’ve shared with you private, Maester Windell.”
“Of course, My Lord. You can count on my discretion, always, but I fear wonder if this journey is for more than a leader.”
Cregan stops his packing, not wanting to share more information than he already has with his maester. “No, maester. I only am going to help the Queen. I will be back shortly, with or without the wildling. Winter is coming, and I will not get lost beyond the Wall.”
The maester didn’t argue, so Cregan made his fortnight journey back to the Wall, and then beyond it.
He felt fear when his horse took its first steps onto the icy tundra outside the Wall’s gate. He feared he would not find her, feared she may have died, feared she would kill him before he got to kiss her one last time.
The late summer snow was not too harsh yet, but Cregan knew he did not have long to find her before Winter came.
He searched for days for her.
He returned to the spot where he first set up camp, finding the bark where he had carved a dire wolf had been completely torn and shredded by a knife.
When he returned to the cave it was dark, and no trace of her had been left behind. It made it feel like the moments they shared in there never happened.
He felt lost. He set up his camp in the cave, but she had not snuck to it during the night like last time. If she had, she truly left no trace. But, he knew he hadn’t felt her yet. She wasn’t there.
2 weeks into the journey, he had dreamt of her.
He dreamt he was a wolf, hunting, when he finally saw her.
She was sleeping, ever so soundly, beneath a bright red weirwood. He growled at her, and she awoke quickly, immediately grabbing and aiming her bow at him.
She gasped quickly, catching her breath as adrenaline coursed through her veins.
She released the arrow into his eye, and he awoke.
He was sweating despite the cold, and the burning feeling in his eye was lingering.
He rubbed it softly, but then directed his attention back to her in the dream. It was really her. She looked different. She looked stronger somehow, and her hair had grown greatly. She had it in a long, thick braid. There were bags under her eyes, like she had been exhausted from something.
He stood and exited the cave. The sun was slowly rising, but there was a blue hue that made the snow on the ground glisten. He closed his eyes, stretched, and yawned when he heard a sound.
It was a familiar sound… the sound of a bow string being pulled tightly.
He lowered his arms from his stretch, and opened his eyes.
There she was.
There she was.
She knelt on one knee, aiming her arrow at his eye. Her eyes burnt with a fire that he’d never seen, her breathing was quick and angry, her lips turned in a sad scowl, she was fueled with adrenaline.
He smiled, laughing softly. He couldn’t believe she was here. She pulled the string tighter at his sweet smile, her heart breaking at seeing him truly here.
He took a hesitant step towards her, but stopped.
A soft whining sound came from her back.
His smile faded.
She lowered her bow slowly, eventually dropping it completely. She had a fabric diagonal across her body. She moved it underneath her arm, and then twisted it around her body.
Her hands gently found and cradled the babe.
Cregan gasped. He couldn’t believe it.
She softly hushed the babe, tracing her fingers over its face. She whispered soft, comforting words to it. The babe made gentle little noises.
“Is that…” His voice was barely above a whisper. She looked at him solemnly. His hand covered his mouth.
“This is your son, Cregan.” She finally spoke. Her voice was smooth and melodic, different from how he heard her last time. He stepped towards her, falling to his knees. His whole body was shaking, and not from the cold.
“Does he have a name?” He asks, holding his arms out, hoping she’d trust him enough to hold his son.
She nervously hands him his child, fearful he might take her little babe, her only piece of Cregan, and never return again.
“No.” She says. “I only birthed him a moon ago.”
Cregan can’t hold it in anymore, and begins sobbing. All of his emotions pent up from the last year pour out. He holds the babe close to his chest, sobbing relentlessly.
He’d missed her so greatly this past year and now seeing her here, alone with this little babe, he’d realized how badly he erred. He wasn’t there to comfort her, hold her, help her. She had suffered it all alone.
“I’m so sorry.” He sobs.
She stares at him, her face unwavering. She was so angry. She wanted to kill him so bad, to take back her babe and cut his throat.
But, she couldn’t.
He’d broken her heart in such an unimaginable way. She’d cried over him for weeks, and when her blood hadn’t came she knew the worst had happened. But now he was here, holding their babe and sobbing like a child. She didn’t even know Cregan was capable of such emotions. She didn’t truly know him, and he didn’t truly know her.
Her hand found its way to his broad shoulder to try to comfort him. Her other hand moved to cradle his cheek. He rested his face into her hand, spilling wet tears on her.
“Oh, Cregan.” She whispered, wiping the never ending tears from his cheek. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his, hushing him like she did their babe. She wrapped her other arm around him, bringing her warm body against his while still being careful of their infant.
“I’m so sorry.” He repeats. “I should not have left you. I should have killed those men and brought you home-“
“Sh, sh, Cregan.” She whispers again. “I’m yours, as you are mine.”
Her words send him back into tears. She presses soft kisses to the tears on his cheek, weaving her fingers in his curls that she desperately missed.
“Where have you been?” He asks, minutes after calming down. “I’ve searched these whole damn woods for you.”
She smiles softly, “You think I don’t know that?” He smiles. “Why did you come back here, Cregan?”
He looks down at their sleeping babe, then back at her. “I’ve wanted to come back every day since I have been apart from you… But, I couldn’t find the strength. I regret it more than anything. I regret leaving you, I regret not coming sooner, I-“
She cuts him off, placing her warm lips onto his. Not breaking the kiss, her hands take the babe from him, setting him aside next to them.
“What are you-“
She slaps him across the face, with such a strong hand that he can’t help but stop and look back at her in total shock. She pulls his lips back into her, confusing him with her back and forth attitude. “If you ever leave me again, I really will put an arrow through your eye.”
He smirks, pulling her back into him with his strength. “Now we’re even.” She whispers.
“We were even when you nearly killed me last year.” He says, she growls at him, but they continue kissing. “I wear these scars with honor.”
She tears into his soft clothes, “Take him inside, and then come back out here and make me yours again.”
He pulls away with haste, grabbing his babe gently and walking back into the cave. She follows, right on his heels. He finds a safe spot for their babe, setting the sleeping child down.
He turns, grabbing her by the neck and kissing her, pushing her backwards out to the cold.
“Be gentle with me.” She whispers into his lips.
“No.” Cregan says, ripping off her furs and throwing them on the ground. She smirks, not wanting him to anyway.
He grabs her by her hair and she shrieks. He pushes her down to her knees, and she sits in the cold snow once again. He unlaces his breeches, and she quickly tugs them down with his soft clothes.
She presses her cold fingers onto his pelvis, and she places gentle kisses along his length. She looks up at him with her big, doe eyes. He pulls her head back by her hair again and she gasps. He pushes himself into her mouth, immediately groaning at her warm tongue. She moans around him, placing her hand at what she can’t fit in her mouth. He grabs both sides of her face, thrusting his hips into her mouth, not realizing his roughness. He had missed her so much, and he was so lost in the pleasure of her mouth.
She gagged repeatedly, her eyes flowing with tears. Her free hand rested on his toned stomach for balance, and she scratched her nails into him from time to time.
He pulled her head back with a pop of her lips, and looked down at the little mess before him. Her cheeks were stained with tears, drool spilling from her lips, her thighs rubbing together to relieve the tension between her legs.
He pushed her back into the snow and got on his knees, placing himself between her legs. He wrapped his hand around her throat again, rubbing his fingers at the wetness between her legs.
“You’ve missed me?” He asks.
“I’ve missed that cock.” She teases.
“Don’t worry. There won’t be much to miss soon.” He presses a harsh kiss to her lips, sliding himself into her. She gasps into his lips, trying to pull away to cry out, but he refuses to let her go. He pulls one of her legs to his chest to give him a deeper angle and she whines into his lips. He starts thrusting, fast and harsh, into her healing cunt. His hand moves from her throat to her breast, now round and large with milk than the last time he’d had her.
“Cregan!” She cries out loudly, finally breaking free from his lips. She throws her head back into ecstasy, her hair becoming wet from the snow. Cregan moans loudly, his thrusts sloppy and quick.
“I’m putting another babe in you.” He moans, forgetting why he was there to retrieve her in the first place.
“I’ll fucking kill you.” She says, slapping him across the face. He looks at her angrily, a wolf awakening inside him. He grabs her face, his fingers digging into her cheeks as he fucks her harshly and angrily.
“I’m gonna cum.” She whines, squeezing her eyes shut tight.
“Don’t.” He says. She gasps, begging and pleading for her release. He slows his thrust, leaving her in agony. She bucks her hips towards him, but he pushes them down, locking her in place with his strong arm.
“I fucking hate you.” She moans.
“Cum for me then, and we can see if that is how you feel for me after.” His thrusts go back to their fast, sloppy pace, and she moans. Her hands grab his wrist, clawing her nails into his forearm.
She hits her peak and moans his name repeatedly. Her fingers dig into the snow again, the other hand digging into his arm. He growls, not stopping and continuing to thrust.
“Stop it.” She whispers, her body shaking at the sensitivity. Cregan doesn’t listen, only maintaining his harsh pace. He lifts both of her legs to his chest, his length touching her womb. “Please, Cregan, fuck!” She whines, tears spilling from her eyes at the overstimulation.
Her fists hit his chest, and yet he continues. She slaps him across the face, over and over again, and he still continues, his face stoic, desperate for nothing more than to see her writhing beneath him.
She sobs as she cums on him again, slapping and hitting him harshly. Her body is a trembling mess, peaking with pleasure and pain. Finally satisfied, he lets his own peak wash over him, filling her to the brim with his seed again, right against her womb. He rests over her, moaning and biting her neck, despite her nails scratching and drawing blood against his neck.
“Cunt.” She moans into his shoulder, holding him tightly against her shaking body. He pulls out, gently, allowing her to rest before he carries her back into the cave, stepping into the hot spring with her in his arms.
She rests against him, and it’s as if they had never been apart. He looks over at their sleeping babe on the ground, smiling gently. He looks back down at his love, his smile fading.
“There is a war brewing in Westeros.” He finally tells her.
“What for this time?” She asks, drawing little shapes on his chest, not seeming to really care about his answer.
He decides to wait to tell her, instead wanting to enjoy the moment with her.
“I’m sorry for what I said to you… before I left.” He says. She sighs.
“Cregan… Do you wish to know why I killed the Lord Commander?”
He looks down at her, confused. He assumed her only reason was she hated crows. She looks up at him.
“Why?” He asks.
She waits before explaining. “He’d come out there before with some of his men. They often hunted wildlings for fun. They’d tell the men back at the wall it was for a hunting exhibition, but really… They were tired of the women from some place called Mole’s Town.”
Cregan was still confused.
“That was years ago, when I was in a tribe… But, the crows just kept coming back… And our tribe refused to leave, because our ancestors had settled there hundreds of years before.” She pauses, “The Lord Commander always said I was his favorite… I left eventually. Turns out I’m safer alone. That’s when I started killing crows.”
Cregan realized he was gripping her arm too tightly, and loosened his hold. What she said changed everything. Men were coming beyond the Wall to force themselves on wildling women. He wanted to be sick. Cregan’s last words to her before he left… that he would kill her for what she did.
Anger ignited inside him, but there was nothing he could do. The Lord Commander was dead, she got her revenge. But, the thought of that happening to her, the words he spoke before he left her alone. It was too much.
She noticed his tension, and placed her hand on his cheek. “My wolf.” She whispered. He closed his eyes and turned away from her touch.
“I’ve failed you… Again, and again, and again.” He says, tears spilling from his eyes.
She straddles him, forcing him to look at her. “Aye. You have.” He looks at her, not expecting brr bluntness. She wipes his tears. “But you’re still mine, Cregan Stark… and I’m not perfect either.”
He presses a soft kiss to her lips, wrapping his arms around her.
“So, what were you saying about the war?” She asks, resting her head on his shoulder.
“There is a war forming between the dragons. It is growing more and more dire.”
“Dragons?” She asked. “Like in the stories?”
“Aye, my lady. Except these are no stories. The dragons are dancing, and the North must stand ready to fight with the true Queen.”
“Queen?” She asks. “Aren’t you King in the North?”
“No, my love. Starks bent the knee over a century ago.”
She leans back to look at him. “Bend the knee to me.”
“I do every time I stick my cock in you.” She laughs, a sweet and gentle laugh, no longer the chaotic one she used to do.
“You’re different.” He says, a smile on his face.
“I am a mother now. My child has softened my witch heart.” She jests.
Mother. The mother to his child, specifically. He couldn’t ask her to lead the gray beards no longer. She needed to return to Winterfell with him to raise their son. His smile fades and she notices.
“You’re different.” She repeats his words. “Why did you come? Truly?”
“You are a warrior… and the North must stand ready.” He looks at her, his eyes worried.
“You… You want me to fight?” She asks, stepping off him and standing. The water stops at her hips, and he tries hard to keep his attention focused on her face. “Just a moon after I nearly died pushing out your fat little babe?”
“No, no, my lady. I do not want you fighting no longer.” He looks at her, taking her hands in his. “I want you to come home… with me. To Winterfell.”
“My home is the North.” She says, taking her hand away.
“No, no.” He stands, resting his hands on her arms. He looks over at their sleeping son. “He changes everything.”
His son would be considered a bastard, by all traits, but he was his son nonetheless. He would raise him as a Stark… as his heir to Winterfell.
“Home is not a place.” Cregan says. “A home is what you make it… My place may be in Winterfell, but it is not my home if you and my son are not with me.”
She sighs. “I’m no lady, Cregan.”
“I know… and I don’t care.”
“I will not watch you marry a noble while I am your whore that you force to work in your castle and fuck at night.”
“I would never ask that of you.” Cregan says, putting his hand on the back of her neck to pull her closer. “Starks are honorable men. You will be my wife, and my son will be my heir. I will kill any man who ever dares harm you again.”
She stares at him as he continues. “I needed an excuse to come back out here… If I told them I came out here to get you to lead the Northern army, then it raised less suspicion. But, I care no longer. I only care about you.”
“What if I say no? That I won’t join you?” She asks.
“Then I would accept.” He looks at his son. “All I ask is you let me bring him.”
She looks at their son. Cregan continues. “He will never know a cold night, he will learn to fight among men, he’ll have a full belly every time he goes to sleep, he’ll be respected by all those around him… and if you came, so would you.”
She looks back at Cregan. “He will join you.”
Cregan closes his eyes, her hand resting against his cheeks.
“As will I.” He opens them to look at her again.
“Truly?” She nods. He laughs, breathlessly, pulling her in for a deep hug. His fingers weave into her hair, holding her tightly against his chest.
“I will fight for you as well.” He pulled away to look at her.
“No.” He says. “No, I need you with me at Winterfell.”
“Cregan… A queen! You honor me, choosing me to lead your Northern army.”
“I don’t want you to.” He says. “What of our son? You could be gone for years… You could not return.”
She laughs, “My Lord Stark… You’d be a bloody fool to think any man could kill me.”
“This is hardly a war between men, my girl. This is a war between dragons, and none will ever be so bloody.”
“Cregan… I am of the free folk, which means I will always be free. Being free means I have the choice to fight for you… and for a Queen.”
———
Cregan returned to Winterfell a week later, carrying his babe in his arms on his horse, with a wilding woman behind him.
His maester was bewildered at the sight before him. “My Lord… Who is this babe you carry?”
“Maester, this is my son and this woman here is his mother… and my betrothed. She will be leading the graybeards in the war. Call upon wet nurses and maids to help foster our son while she is gone.”
“A-At once, My Lord.” The maester stumbled over his words, giving the wildling one last look before going to do his task.
Later that night, her and Cregan sat in his chambers. His lover couldn’t help but explore and ask questions about everything in the castle.
“What is this?”
“A pen and paper.”
“What does it do?”
“Well, you tell the maester a message and then he writes it down and gives it to a raven to send off.”
“And this?”
“A tub.”
“What does it do?”
“Bathes you.” It went on like this for hours, but he didn’t care. He was glad to share with her his way of life. Her naiveness at noble life was sweet.
When they cuddled up in his furs in their now shared bed, she laughed with giddiness. “Ask them to bring more.”
“My love, you’re under four bear pelts and the hearth is at full flame, you’re going to get hot.”
“Hot?”
“Warm, my girl. Too warm.”
“I don’t care. This is all so exquisite. You should’ve brought me here much sooner, you know.”
Cregan simply smiled, looking down at their son in his arms. “Did you have any names in mind for him?”
She hums, resting on her elbow to face them. “Cregan is quite a handsome name.”
“We can name give him a Stark name if you like mine.”
“Like what?”
“How about… Benjen Stark.”
“Benjen.” She whispered, sitting up and touching her son’s dark locks. “I love it.”
Her and Cregan locked eyes, staring at each other in silence. “You don’t have to go, my love.”
“I do.” She says, cradling Cregan’s cheek.
“I wish to marry you, make you Lady Stark of Winterfell.”
“I will be your… Lady… when I return.” She says, unsure of the proper term to use.
He laughs, “Wife. You will be my wife. I can have the maester teach you to read and write upon your return.”
“Truly?” She asks. “Like stories?”
“Stories, history, anything my betrothed wishes to read she can.”
“Betrothed?”
“It means we’re to be wed, at some point.”
She presses her forehead to Cregan’s. “I can’t believe I am here.”
“Neither can I, my love.”
He presses a gentle kiss to her lips, and they fell asleep like that, Benjen full and warm in his father’s arms.
Cregan and his love were only able to share a few nights together before it was time for her to march with the graybeards.
“You are strong, my lady. Command these men like you did me, and they’ll follow you anywhere.”
Cregan lifted her onto her horse, and she nervously settled into the saddle. He stepped onto his own, Benjen tightly secured to his chest as the babe was to his mother when Cregan stumbled back upon them.
She took her hand in his, and he pressed a gentle kiss to it. “Come back safe to me, my girl.”
She smirked, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to kill some Southerners.”
“Goodbye, my sweet boy.” She says, touching Benjen’s hair one last time.
“Take care of our son, Cregan.” He nodded, tears welling in his eyes.
“I have a gift for you before you go.”
His master at arms came to him, handing him the freshly made dire wolf crest. He pinned it on her chest, and she looked down, tracing her fingers over the craftsman ship.
“You are a Stark… from this day, until your last day.” He said. She looked at Cregan, pride in her face.
“I’ll make you proud, my Lord Stark.”
He handed her the dagger, the very thing that brought them together. “I know you will.”
With that, she turned and slowly began to leave with her horse.
She turned to look back at them. “By the way, I killed your horse last year.”
Cregan’s smile faded, but then she laughed, and he couldn’t help but laugh too. She turned back around, and he looked down at his son, his beautiful little pup. The babe’s big gray eyes staring back at the ones he inherited from his father.
Cregan rode the opposite direction from her. He turned again to look at her one last time, and she turned to look at him too.
He smiled at her, letting the tears fall. She smiled back. He watched her ride the opposite way, and she watched him as he rode back to Winterfell until they could no longer see each other.
He would miss her greatly, but he knew she would return. This parting would not be forever, for they knew that they were bonded by love, seperated by only distance this time. No wall, no duty, no pain would ever come between them again.
He couldn’t wait for her to get back to them so they could start their life together.
Forever.
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