#thank you for bringing us back to what matters

[onlymingyus]

Fatal Trouble (teaser)

pairing; lee jihoon x f!reader 

genre; fantasy, heavy angst, mild horror, slow burn, smut (minor dni), toxic, fluff 

summary; where others would steal, bargain, or kill to live the life that jihoon had, he knew the truth. a charmed life was often a cursed one. 

content warnings; prince!jihoon, princess!reader, both the reader and jihoon’s parents are mentioned/in the fic, duke!mingyu, mild love triangle, jealousy, based on the beauty and the beast, beast!jihoon, some ideas have been borrowed from damsel, royalty au, time period not stated but not modern, curses, pregnancy/miscarriage scares, blood, mauling, murder/death, loss of parent(s), arranged marriage, crying, arguing, mental struggles, vivid descriptions of wounds/shifting, poor use of french, especially old french (i apologize). I am sure there are more—this is a very heavy fic. if there is anything glaring I missed, message me. (patreon will have additional warnings)

smut warnings; multiple smut scenes, virgin!reader, mild Dom/sub themes, dubcon leaning noncon briefly, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f recieving), handjob, pet names, crying (pleasure and not) — as always I’m sure I’m missing something, send me a message if it’s glaring. (patreon will have additional warnings)

w/c; 47k and some change (50k~ with patreon bonus)

once upon a time collab masterlist 

fatal trouble - enhypen 

a/n; thank you to @nothoughtsjustfic for putting together this collab. this has been a lot of fun and incredibly challenging all at the same time. also a huge thank you to @junkissed for proofreading this beast (pun intended). I know you are incredibly busy and you still managed to carve out a little time for me, I appreciate it more than you know. 

French word bank: Monseigneur - title for prince, Madame - title female royalty (queen/princess), Madame La Reine - title for queen, Monsieur - title male royalty (duke), Maman - mother, Mon fils - son, Mon amor- my love, Mon ange - my angel

this fic will be released 1/15 to read the full fic with the bonus now subscribe to my patreon and click here

You had always been told that dream weddings were made for princesses. So why was it on your own wedding day that you didn’t feel like it was your own wedding? You were in your dress, your flowers in your hand, as you stood next to your father in front of the large church doors, listening to the beautiful music, but it was as if you were watching someone else get married. 

“Ready, honey?” 

Had you said yes? You couldn’t remember, but it didn’t matter. You were putting on a smile and avoiding the eyes of everyone as you walked down the aisle, just attempting not to trip. One, two, three, four, five, six—by the time you reached the front of the church, you had counted 79 flower petals that had been dropped by one of your youngest cousins. They were very pretty petals. What did petals lining a wedding aisle mean again? Luck? Fertility? Transformation? A bond between families? 

“My wife and I.” 

Your father was speaking and offering your hand to someone else. You were getting married. Lifting your eyes, you meet Jihoon’s feeling, and your heart starts to beat frantically as it all seems to set in for you. The air settles around you and his hands on yours ground you bringing you back to reality. 

“You okay?” 

What did he want you to say? You could barely find words to speak so instead you smile and nod, watching him do the same as the priest continues the ceremony. You find yourself transfixed on the man in front of you, every piece of hair in place, his handsome smile, and his beautiful brown eyes. 

“Yes, I do.” 

He does? What does he—- 

“Madame Y/N Y/L/N of Thornwood, do you take this man, Monseigneur Lee Jihoon, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

The room had become deathly silent. You could hear a pin drop as they waited for your answer and all you could truly hear was your heart and unsteady breath as Jihoon kept his eyes on you. The words sit on the tip of your tongue until Jihoon’s fingers gently squeeze yours, giving you the confidence you need to continue and gaining a happy whispered cheer from the audience watching. 

“Ye—yes, I do.” 

Blowing out a breath, playfully. Jihoon smiles when you finally do speak, feeling the tension release from your fingers. You were nervous and that was making him even more nervous. You seemed like you were in another world until he finally brought you back and now that he had you and the priest was delivering the last of his lines, Jihoon felt like he could either throw up or like his chest could explode from being overwhelmed. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife. Monseigneur, you may kiss your bride.” 

His bride. His. He had never kissed you before, no more than the back of your knuckles but that hadn’t meant that he hadn’t thought about it or dreamt of it. Swallowing hard, Jihoon nods and takes one hand from yours to cup your jaw gingerly as he leans forward, his lips resting mere centimeters from yours, letting you decide to do the rest. 

Why had he stopped? Whining under your breath, feeling Jihoon’s breath against your lips, you furrow your brows and close the distance, pressing your lips against his for the first time hearing the audience burst into a loud cheer seeing the first kiss shared by a husband and wife. You had shared a kiss with Mingyu before; it had been small, just his lips brushing against yours before you had pulled away, but this was different. You could feel Jihoon smile against your lips. You could almost taste him before he pulled away, leaving you breathless and stunned at the alter next to him. 

It shouldn’t surprise you or Jihoon that the rest of the reception would be a whirlwind of well wishes and unsolicited advice. You find that once again your only saving grace is the man standing beside you, his hand linked with yours and his thumb rubbing small circles on the inside of your wrist as he carries most of the conversations. 

“Mm, no. We won’t be going anywhere. We have the coronation set for the middle of next week and there is so much to be done here. I will enjoy my bride at home. I’m hoping to spend as much time with her as possible.” 

You find yourself wondering how much of Jihoon’s words are true. Would he spend extra time with you? What would tonight be like? The idea of your wedding night has your stomach in knots and Jihoon tugging you tighter to his side, feeling your fingers closing around his. 

“I—mm, no, thank you. We’re fine. Really, we won’t travel often. If Y/N wants to travel—” 

Why wouldn’t Jihoon travel? That had come up time and time again. He was ready to send you back home to visit your parents. You two would be going nowhere after your wedding and now he was offering to let you travel without him? Furrowing your brows, you look up at your husband finally meeting his eyes, making him laugh a bit awkwardly and excuse you both as he grabs two glasses of champagne, leading you towards one of the windows, letting you rest against the sill. 

“This is exhausting. Are you alright?” 

Gladly accepting the glass, you hum between sips before tilting your head and looking out over the crowd that was luckily getting smaller as the afternoon crept by. “Fine. Ready to be alone. This is just overwhelming.” 

Nodding into his own glass, Jihoon lets his eyes move around the room before they land on Mingyu, who nods in acknowledgement before looking away. He was ready for everyone to leave as well, ready for them to go back to where they belonged—especially Kim Mingyu. “It’ll be done soon and you can head to bed.” 

Pausing mid-drink, you glance up at Jihoon before lowering your glass. "Oh, and should I—” Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes, turning your head away, feeling awkward and uncertain about how to continue without sounding desperate. “Should I expect anyone to join me?” 

Jihoon had taken a drink and swallowed half of it when you finally got your words out. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it wasn’t that. He hadn’t meant to react the way he had, but being caught off guard and feeling the champagne take a sudden wrong turn, Jihoon finds himself coughing as he tries to calm himself down and avoid your eyes and others as they look at him concerned. “I’m fine… I—” Tilting his head and clearing his throat, Jihoon holds up his hand, keeping others from approaching him or you as he repeats that he doesn’t need help. “I’m fine, I promise.” 

“Was my question that shocking?” 

Jihoon watches your lips quiver slightly, only for you to hide your emotions by taking a sip of the drink in your hand. “No—I, yes. I won’t lie, yes, but also it shouldn’t have been. Y/N, I’m not meaning to upset you.” 

Shaking your head, you clear your throat, feeling your cheeks flair with warmth from embarrassment. You were such a fool for even considering that Jihoon would come to your room or want you like that even if you were his wife. “I’m not upset. I’m tired. I’m going to go ahead and call it an evening. Say goodbye to the guests, Jihoon.” Stepping away from him, you meet his eyes, feeling his fingers trail over yours. “And get a wonderful night’s sleep.” 

Pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, Jihoon groans in frustration at you and mostly himself as the door closes behind you, leaving him alone with the guests in the dining hall at the wedding reception. He had once again messed up and was left to clean up the mess. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see you or be with you, but tonight was going to be a bad night. 

Some nights Jihoon couldn’t tell when he was going to shift, and others like tonight he could feel it from a mile away. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire and the rumbling in his ears had been loud from the moment he had gotten up. He had barely made it through the wedding on sheer will, but now you had left him to the lions, and one in particular looked overly amused. 

Working his way through the remaining guests, bidding them a goodnight and explaining you had needed to go lay down with a headache, Jihoon felt his own headache growing with every single lie he told. It wasn’t until Mingyu had given him one more smirk and sipped at his whiskey that Jihoon cracked. “Something on your mind, Mingyu?” 

“Of course not, Monseigneur. Just awaiting my turn to give my well wishes to the beautiful couple before I retire for the night, but—oh, where is your bride, Monseigneur?” 

He was playing with fire and clearly drunk. Laughing under his breath, Jihoon nods and wipes his finger under his nose, moving closer to Mingyu. He could feel a subtle shift in the air, not realizing his eyes had already shifted in color from brown to gold. “Waiting for me in bed, like a good wife. Where she belongs.” 

Mingyu’s smile falters not only at Jihoon’s words but also at the change in his tone and the difference in Jihoon’s eye color. “Yeah, that so? She didn’t seem very happy earlier. So I figured you wouldn’t be satisfying her on her wedding night. Or at least that’s what her face was saying. I know her pretty well, you see.” 

Scoffing, Jihoon digs his nails into his palm, taking a step towards Mingyu, who doesn’t budge. “Do you know her pretty well? How well? Careful with your next words...” 

He had no reason to be afraid of Jihoon, and yet the air around Jihoon was causing Mingyu’s hair to stand on end. He could feel his heart rate starting to rise as he realized that the only people left in the room beside himself and Jihoon were servants. “I—yeah, I know—” 

“Monseigneur! It’s time for a night walk.” 

Time had gotten away from Soonyoung during the festivities. He hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten until he had seen Jihoon backing the larger man against a wall and he knew that could only mean one thing: Jihoon was shifting. “Apologies for taking away the monseigneur, but routines. Have a goodnight, Monsieur.” 

Left speechless, Mingyu is only able to take a full breath once Jihoon is ushered away from him and out the doors. “What the fuck—” His heart was slowly starting to calm down and the sense of danger seemed to dissipate the longer that he was away from Jihoon. There was something wrong with everything that had just happened. He was twice the size of Jihoon in most ways and yet the man had him almost trembling for a moment and quickly sobering up. Now the prince was going for a night walk? Where? You weren’t allowed to go out at night. That was one of the things you had told Mingyu. Now he was even more curious as to why. 

Guiding Jihoon towards the gates, Soonyoung grimaces, hearing the sounds of flesh starting to rip. This was closer than he wanted to be to a shift. It was dangerous and he had scars that he already bore from Jihoon and close calls. 

“Get away from me!” 

Trembling from the pain and fear of shifting, Jihoon growls out the words, glancing back at Soonyoung as he slams the gates shut in front of him, sealing him out for the night. The painful groaning roar that escapes Jihoon next almost breaks Soonyoung’s heart as he turns on his heels and runs back towards the palace, not seeing Mingyu lingering in the shadows near the gates watching Jihoon stumble and fall as he shifts into the beast. 

“Fuck—” There aren’t words to explain what Mingyu feels or the terror for you that runs through him as he watches the bear’s claws dig into the dirt as it runs for the forest snarling. There was no way he was going to let you stay here with that thing. He’d kill it before he’d let it hurt you. Without much thought, Mingyu heads back towards the palace and to his room to grab his knife before sneaking back out towards the forest in search of Jihoon, determined that only one of them would come back for you in the morning.

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[woso-dreamzzz]

Melting Pot IV

McFoord x Child!Reader

Ruesha Littlejohn x Child!Reader

woso-dreamzzz Kids x Child!Reader (Kiddo)

Summary: Sports day with a bunch of hyper competitive people

"Ouch!"

Caitlin sighs, massaging her temples as she comes down the stairs.

It had already been a loaded morning, crammed full of everything and nothing at the same time.

"Stop it!"

She'd only been upstairs for a moment, separating Gremlin's kitten from your own.

They were two vastly different cats.

Gremlin's Spicy was angry, a walking ball of fuzz that leapt first and asked questions later. He was liable to throwing up hairballs while making eye contact and bringing in dead rats from the railroad tracks.

Your Baby was the opposite, a demure little lady who groomed herself all the time and took naps on your blanket. She craved affection and wound herself around ankles whenever anyone even so much as looked at her.

Two vastly different cats like their vastly different owners.

"Hey!" Katie snaps as Caitlin turns the corner," Gremlin, knock it off! Leave your sister alone!"

A very clear bite mark is on your wrist as you sob, curled up on Katie's lap as she struggles to get your sister's shoes on her feet.

"I've got her," Caitlin says, nudging her girlfriend away," Go and put Kiddo in the car."

Usually, a Saturday morning meant a chill day.

Sleeping until noon and having some brunch. Most of the time pancakes, sometimes waffles if Katie could be bothered to get out the waffle maker.

But today was Sports Day at the school so you were all up bright and early to make it there in time.

Caitlin already knew how this was going to go though.

Gremlin would get hyper competitive and most likely push someone over in her haste to win and you would linger at the back of your pack of peers with no hint of athletic ability in you.

Your little sister was much younger than you so she was separated with the other nursery age girls while you were included in your class.

"That wasn't very nice," Caitlin says as she slips the leash straps over Gremlin's shoulders," You know your sister is sensitive. Why did you bite her?"

Gremlin shrugs. "Dunno."

"Well, I think you should apologise."

"Dragons not say sorry!"

"And dragons don't exist," Caitlin replies, hoisting Gremlin up onto her hip," Maybe you should think about that."

You've stopped crying by the time you're all in the car, a few fingers in your mouth and the other hand out for Katie to hold during the drive, Gremlin's ring of teeth marks displayed so obviously.

"Sorry," Your sister mumbles to you, kicking the seat in front of her.

"For?" Katie prompts.

"Bitin' you."

You mumble your thanks through your fingers just as Caitlin pulls up in front of the school.

She can see a few of the parents she knows well heading into the gates.

Life working at the fire station tended to bond people.

Leah is corralling Bean inside while Jordan (who used to work at the fire station but left after one too many near death scares) crosses the street with their Bug. Lia, their constantly exasperated admin person, is crossing the street with her Guppy as well, joining up with the two of them with a smile.

"Alright," Katie says, turning to look back at her two daughters," Remember what I said about today?"

"It doesn't matter if we don't win because you'll still love us the same," You recite through a mouthful of your fingers and Katie smiles.

"That's exactly right."

You hold Mammy's hand as you all cross the road.

Mammy holds Caitlin's hand. You hold Mammy's. Your little sister holds yours.

She raises your wrist up to her mouth and you tense but all she does is give you a little kiss on the bite mark.

"Sorry," She says again.

"It's okay."

Gremlin smiles at you and you smile back,

"Hey," Katie says, swinging your joined arms," Ma's over there."

It wasn't your week with Rue but she's still come to your sports day and the only hint of athletic ability you possess is put into running over to her.

"Ma!" You cry and she hoists you into her arms instantly.

"Look at you! Looking good, kiddo!" Rue says, bouncing you up and down as you lean into her, breathing in her familiar smell. "You ready for today?"

Your stomach suddenly starts swirling a little.

You know Katie's views on your sports day performance. You don't know Rue's.

"I won't be very good," You say softly, barely above a whisper.

"You don't have to be good," Rue says decisively," Listen, I've got permission from your Mammy that after this is over, we can go to that fancy bakery you like and get some cakes before I take you back to her. Would that be nice?"

"And we can get cupcakes?"

"As many cupcakes as you like!"

Like you thought, you don't do overwhelmingly well at sports day.

You lag behind in the races and in the big jumping. You do fairly well at throwing the beanbags into the hula hoops but that's about it.

Sports day finishes with the sporty girls winning like everyone thought and a big barbecue to celebrate.

Your little sister eats a lot, Caitlin gets you cotton candy and your mothers even end up being civil.

"Caitlin," You say as your eyes rove around the school field," Why are the mummies and big sisters stretching?"

"Huh?"

Caitlin has a piece of beef hanging out of her mouth.

You point.

Over on the far end by the fence, Alexia and Jenni are stretching their legs. Leah is a few feet away doing the same. Alessia is jumping up and down a few times, warming up her muscles.

Even Katie is doing the same, chatting away to one of Bear's mummies.

"Well that's for the parent race."

"Parent race?"

"Uh-huh." Caitlin takes a wet napkin to Gremlin's face. "So the mummies can all race each other to see who's the best."

"But why?"

"Because adults can be competitive too. They get bragging rights."

That sounds...

Well it doesn't exactly sound weird.

Mammy and Caitlin work at the fire station together and you know all the firefighters there are super competitive with each other.

You didn't know that other adults were competitive too.

"Be careful, Magda," You hear one of Princesse's mummies say," You're not as fit as you used to be."

"Please," Princesse's other mummy scoffs," I'm not letting anyone beat me."

"If you pull a muscle, you get no sympathy from me."

You turn back to Caitlin in alarm. "Is Mammy going to hurt herself?"

"No...Probably not...Hopefully not."

That doesn't fill you with much confidence as Katie takes her place on the starting line.

It's carnage the moment the start is called as adults shove each other and get their legs tangled and fall to the ground in heaps.

Katie goes crashing into the ground in a heap with Leah, Steph and Lucy. Alexia and Jenni collide with each other and Irene. Mapi somehow trips over herself.

Against all odds, it seems, Duckie's mummy Jessie comes first.

Squish's mummy Frida is second and Conejita's mummy Caro ends up in third.

"Get off!" Katie says, shoving the pile of people off of her as you, Caitlin and Gremlin approach.

You crouch next to her.

"It's okay, Mammy," You say," You didn't have to win. I still love you the same."

[whoreforsexymen]

Hi, love! This request is for prompt #34 on your list ("That's not nearly desperate enough."). I saw a post saying how Jayce gives off major girl dad vibes, and needless to say I've been thinking about it relentlessly. Because you cannot tell me that man does not have some form of breeding kink

So I was thinking, potentially in the middle of sex or not— your choice, Jayce says one thing or another about wanting a baby. It's the reader who basically makes him beg for it. Not because they need convincing, but because they are simply a little shit. Thus comes the "That's not nearly desperate enough." Upon a fine amount of begging and those damn eyes of his

Then, depending on which route you go with how this ensues, perhaps the following smut of the reader showing Jayce some mercy. Thanks!

Beg | Jayce Talis

Pairings: Jayce Talis x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: None used, but AFAB anatomy descriptions!

Rating: NSFW, 18+, MDNI !! You WILL be blocked!

Word Count: 2.2k

Tags: Breeding Kink, Sub!Jayce (kinda), Power Bottoming (kinda), Fingering

Summary: You make Jayce beg to cum inside you :)

Notes: Prompt List, (Prompts used below)!! Decided to combine these two asks!! Enjoy, my lovelies <3

1. “Stop looking at me like that or else I’m gonna cum too fast.”

9. “That’s a bold decision, considering how I’m balls deep in you right now.”

34. “That’s not nearly desperate enough.”

“Stop looking at me like that, or else I’m gonna cum too fast…” Jayce’s voice was low, trembling with strain as his hips faltered against yours. The heat of his confession spilled into the air between you, thick and heavy, like the tension that coiled in his chest and knotted in his stomach. His breaths came in shallow gasps, his control slipping with every passing second under the weight of your gaze—sharp, hungry, and devastatingly unintentional.

You smirked, slow and wicked, as though savoring the power you held over him. Leaning in, your eyes locked onto his with a deliberate, sultry focus that made his pulse thunder in his ears. The intensity in your gaze was an artful torment, a silent promise to draw him out, to unravel him completely. His admission had emboldened you, as though he had handed you the exact weapon with which to ruin him. You tilted your head ever so slightly, the subtle motion laced with playful cruelty, shaking it softly, as if to say you have no plans to ever stop.

Jayce’s breath hitched as he bit down hard on his bottom lip, his last-ditch effort to stifle the tidal wave building within him. The heat radiating from your body, the way your lips curved into that knowing smile, the way your eyes burned into his soul—all of it was too much. His hands gripped at the sheets like a lifeline, his knuckles whitening with the effort it took to hold back. But there was no sanctuary here, no reprieve from the way you looked at him.

Your eyes—Gods, your eyes—they were his damnation and his salvation. They held a power over him that was almost supernatural, stripping him of every wall, every defense, leaving him raw and exposed in their glow. They spoke volumes without uttering a word, a language of seduction that rendered him powerless.

It wasn’t just the way you looked at him—it was what you looked at him with. That simmering desire, the cruel teasing, the unspoken promise that you wouldn’t stop until he faltered, or crumbled completely. It tested him, pushed him to limits he never thought existed, made his composure feel like a delicate, fragile thing.

And as the pit in his stomach burned hotter, as his muscles tensed and his restraint frayed to the brink, Jayce realized that no matter how hard he fought it, he wasn’t losing to you—he was giving himself over willingly. Piece by piece, shudder by shudder, your gaze was swallowing him whole, and he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

”That’s a bold decision, considering how I’m balls deep in you right now,” he managed to groan out, his voice thick with strain as his hips stammered against yours. Each thrust was a testament to his unraveling restraint, his body caught between fervent need and the thin threads of control. He drove into you with everything he had, every ounce of strength dedicated to holding back the inevitable—keeping the essence of his soul from spilling over and claiming you completely.

“Might not have enough time to pull out,” he whined, his voice trembling with hesitation. The words were a warning, but they came coated in something deeper, something darker—a want he couldn’t quite mask. The cracks in his resolve were widening, and beneath his deceiving cadence lay a silent plea for permission to let go, to give in to the primal urge clawing at his chest.

“Then don’t,” you said simply, your voice calm, steady, as if the words were inconsequential. As if they weren’t coated in such hefty meaning. You delivered them with a quiet finality, as though their weight were nonexistent—like they weren’t a succulent worm on a hook, the chain pulling him deeper into you.

But they were. They hit him with a force that stole the very breath from his lungs, his hips sputtering for the briefest moment before resuming their feverish pace. The simplicity of your words belied their gravity, and yet, he felt it. Felt the command, the invitation, the absolution in them. You weren’t just permitting his surrender—you were demanding it, and he knew he couldn’t refuse. Not when the heat of your body surrounded him, not when the depths of your voice ignited something cardinal within him. Something fundamental.

Jayce let out a guttural sound, a jumbled mix of restraint and surrender, as his body moved on instinct, his mind clouded by the smoke of a blaze you’d set in him. There was no hesitation left, no question of what would come next—only the inevitability of his complete and outright submission in your arms.

“I… I don’t think I heard you right…” Jayce muttered, his breath ragged and uneven. He searched your eyes, desperate to confirm if he had truly heard those words—or if his mind was playing tricks on him.

“I said,” you murmured, your voice low and deliberate, leaning in until your lips nearly brushed his.

“Don’t.”

The word hung between you like a spark, igniting the air. You captured his lips in a searing kiss, neediness bleeding into every movement. Your legs tightened around his waist, the press of your bodies perfectly attuned to the rhythm you shared. Muscles flexed and tensed in harmony, a symphony of heat and tenacity that left no room for doubt.

Jayce had heard you loud and clear.

There was no mistaking your words.

“Are you sure…?” he asked, his tone laced with uncertainty. He needed to know if this was just a momentary impulse driven by desire, or if you truly meant it.

You raised a brow, curious about his sudden doubt. Why now, of all times? You had never given him a reason to question you before.

“Yes. But,” you said, a sly smile playing on your lips, “you’ll have to beg for it.”

The words stopped him in his tracks, his confidence faltering. Jayce had never once let himself slip into submission during your most intimate moments. The idea of begging was as foreign to him as Undercity culture.

“Beg…?” he repeated, his voice shaking slightly. A low, guttural moan followed as you rolled your hips to meet one of his thrusts, driving him deeper inside you, a skillful way of coaxing him further and further to the edge of his pleasure.

“Fuck—” he groaned, the sound crude and wanting as he lost his composure quicker than he had found it. His head dipped, his damp forehead pressing into the curve of your neck, seeking solace in the warmth of your skin.

“Yes. Beg,” you demand, your legs tightening their grip around his hips until they tremble under the strain. He’s reaching a depth within you that feels otherworldly, leaving your vision speckled with stars.

“Beg me to let you fuck a life into me,” you command, your voice a mix of authority and unrefined desire.

Jayce’s head snaps up, his gaze locking onto yours with a flash of realization. The unspoken challenge in your eyes—now or never—spurs him forward. Determination floods his features, transforming him into a man with the relentless resolve of someone who has just uncovered the treasure of a lifetime.

Jayce bit down on the inside of his lip, the hesitation lingering for only a cursory moment. This wasn’t a time for half-measures; it had to be all or nothing. Testing the waters now wasn’t an option—not when everything hinged on this.

The thought of you, brimming with his very essence, the force that gave life, shaped flesh, and coursed through veins, sent his mind spiraling. His muscles quivered, his hips ablaze from the unyielding drive he poured into them. Each movement was unyielding, a cycle of sharp thrusts and aching retractions, repeated with merciless precision.

“Nghh– fuck– please.” The words spilled from his lips, raw and desirous, betraying the composure he struggled to maintain.

A laugh bubbles out of you at his first attempt, the sound shaking and breaking as it’s overtaken by the relentless rhythm of his thrusts—each one harder and faster than the last.

“That’s… not nearly desperate enough,” you manage to tease, though your voice wavers, the confidence you’d mustered teetering under the intensity of his pace.

Jayce’s response is a whimper, low and raw, as his lips find your ear. He presses a kiss there, followed by a gentle nip at your earlobe, his breath warm and ragged.

“Please—fuck—please, my love,” he moans, his words trembling with need. The sound of him like this—a rare vulnerability, inherently submissive—sends a jolt through you, igniting something unfamiliar and electrifying.

“I want… No, I need to drench your cunt with my cum until it takes. Until you’re walking around our house, belly all big and round with our baby inside. The baby I put there. The baby I fucked into you.” His gasps grow louder, his chest heaving as his heart pounds, racing to keep up with the demands of his body. You feel every beat, every pulse, as he clings to you, desperate to maintain the rhythm.

“Please, my love. Please, oh please let me fuck this baby into you. Let me fuck it nice and deep into you. Let me fill you full of my cum and watch it drip out of you so I can fuck it back in over and over again.” When his cry breaks the air, it’s raw and guttural, his fingers digging into the sheets so tightly that they slip free from the mattress beneath him.

“I need it, my love. I need it so fucking bad,” he cries out again, his voice breaking as he sinks his teeth into the curve of your shoulder—a futile attempt to temper the overwhelming tension consuming him.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he pleads, each word punctuated by desperate whines that blend with the raw sound of skin meeting skin.

You can’t hold back your own cries anymore; the relentless rhythm of his thrusts shatters your composure. He’s undeniably desperate now—there’s no question.

“Gods! Jayce! Fuck! Yes!” you scream, your head pressing deeper into the satin pillow beneath you. Your back arches instinctively, curving to meet him as he slams into that exquisitely sensitive spot, over and over again, driving you to the edge of reason.

Jayce knew you were getting as close as he was, but he was always ever-most determined to make you cum before him, or with him.

His teeth leave your shoulder, and he lifts slightly, just enough to slip an arm between your bodies. As his fingers find their mark, Jayce’s gaze locks onto yours. His mouth hangs open, his eyes dark and blown wide, filled with raw, unfiltered desire. Pure, unadulterated lust radiates from him as his touch pushes you closer and closer to the precipice.

He brushes the pads of his fingers against your clit, quickly and effortlessly rubbing tight circles around the sensitive bud. He could feel your walls clenching in response, desperate to milk his needy cock dry. Desperate to coax every drop his balls could spare.

Your breath quickens, chest rising and falling in a desperate rhythm, aching to press against his once more—but his arm remains a firm, teasing barrier. His fingers move with a slow, deliberate intent, tracing and circling your clit until pleasure borders on the unbearable.

Just as the sensation threatens to tip into numbness, release strikes like a missile—blazing, unrelenting, precise. It shatters through you, sharp and all-consuming, like a rock splintering glass. Your muscles lock, your body taut with the force of it, nails sinking deep into the firm, heated flesh of his arms.

Jayce’s thrusts grow erratic, each snap of his hips losing precision as desperation takes hold. Hisses and curses spill from his lips, laced with ragged gasps as he pounds into you with fevered urgency.

He’s close—so unbearably close—your walls gripping him like a vice, clenching and pulsing around his throbbing cock. The way you twitch and squeeze him sends his mind spiraling, pleasure coiling tight in his core, spinning his head like a top.

“Fuck,” he groans, voice breaking as he drives deep one final time. His cock pulses, spilling hot, thick cum inside you, filling you to the brim. Strands of it spurt and pool within, coating your cervix as he shudders through the intensity of his orgasm.

He stays buried inside you for a few lingering moments, your breaths falling into sync as the haze of pleasure slowly fades. His body stills, chest rising and falling as he collects himself, savoring the way you feel wrapped around him.

When you finally begin to settle, he pulls out—but before you can catch your breath, his hand drifts lower. Two fingers push deep into your slick heat, thrusting slow and deliberate, gathering every drop of his release and pushing it back inside you.

A cry escapes your lips, hands grasping blindly at the sheets as the pad of his thumb finds your clit once more, circling with torturous precision. Your head lifts, eyes locking with his—dark, hooded, full of wicked intent. A smirk tugs at his lips, lazy yet hungry, as his fingers drive deeper, curling just right, pulling another wave of pleasure from your already spent body. He opens his mouth to speak once more.

“I want a girl.”

[transformers-spike]

You put Breakdown with a gutbuster in my head, and now I need. For him to use it. On me. (Aka reader)

Bonus points if it's disgustingly cute and sweet and BD gets lots of love and praise. 🥹🥺

I overdid it. Again. Thank you @drunkeninlovesailor for beta-reading this fic and smacking some sense into me when self-doubt reared its ugly head. And I will go on to say @ss-shitstorm made me adore Breakdown so much more through Breaking Bread. I look up pictures of him and cry And yes, this is a sequel to Visitors - so back to the heatverse

Knock Out always goes first. Breakdown doesn’t mind it. At least he shouldn’t. He knows he’ll have his turn with you. Everyone does.

Second or seventh place, it doesn’t matter. He should be grateful to have a chance. Just like he should be grateful he didn’t lose more than one optic. Or the feeling in his left arm. Or his honor.

Again, it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. It’s his turn. No superior waiting at your habsuite, no humiliating dismissal (obviously, they don’t mean for it to seem humiliating – they’re his superiors after all, and he has to obey them) – only you in the midst of your heat cycle.

The “breeding room”, as you jokingly call it, is actually Knock Out’s old habsuite. Repurposed, yeah, but he’s been here enough times to recognize it. Any Con worth their ball-bearings can upgrade after reaching third class. Knock Out used to be a first class. Then he was promoted to Chief Medical Officer and skipped a rank. Breakdown is stuck in second class. Better than first. Better than being a vehicon. He should be satisfied.

You’re curled up in your oversized berth on top of the heating pad. “Hey, squishy,” he whispers, taking his usual place next to you. “Don’t tell me Knock Out tired you out.” Your answer is a snort. You stretch, flesh poking out from under your frame coverings. A common sight by now, but his cooling fans didn’t get the memo. His frame vibrates with their familiar hum.

“Like what you see handsome?” you ask and scuttle up to him, wearing that precious spark-warming smile. He returns it full force.

“What can I say? Even a one-opticced oaf can recognize true beauty.” “Careful, partner. There’s only so much I can take before jumping on your spike.” He barks a laugh. “It may come sooner than you think.” “Bring it. I’m ready to deepthroat until your system reboots. But first -” you huff as you climb into his lap, waving away the servo he’s offering. Once comfortably seated in his lap, you cheekily rub your aft against his interface panel.

“Spill the tea, sis.”

“Hmph…” He drums his digits over his thigh. “We’ve had a record break in the mines! I haven’t seen them this happy in quartexes. There was a small party at homebase, squad’s been celebrating with engex.”

“Homemade?”

“Nah – I’ve checked. I won’t let them pull that stunt again.” He winces at the memory. B15F. Poor scrapper’s been euthanized well before his time. There wasn’t much left to save. The engex melted right through his fuel tanks. Breakdown didn’t pride himself on morality anymore – none of them did. But it was the right call – even if the uncertainty is tearing through his circuitry like a horde of scraplets. Could Knock Out have fixed B15F? Or maybe it would’ve just dragged out his suffering for a chance at nothing. His conjunx had studied at a bigshot academy – Breakdown’s knowledge’s based around rushed medical training. “You okay, big guy?” He snaps out of it. “Yeah! Everything’s good.” You can’t see his reassuring smile with his massive chassis in the way. But maybe if he keeps it up he’ll really mean it.

“You sure? You’ve been doing that a lot lately.” His smile falters. If a human has noticed it… who else has? Is this why Dreadwing’s been especially tolerant of his mistakes? Scrap, Breakdown almost misses his commanding officer’s reproaches. Could he get any more pitiful for frag’s sake? Proving himself after losing an optic to fleshies is bad enough. He’s not an invalid – he won’t be demoted to janitorial duties after working his aft off to make it this far.

“Workload’s been pretty intense. Been on my mind a lot.” He adds a chuckle to convince you – but he can’t see your expression with his chassis in the way.

“Bad enough for the vehicons to get blackout drunk again?”

“Found them recharging in mine carts.”

“Just like a college frat party, huh?” He has no idea what that means. Doesn’t stop him from laughing, though. “You should’ve seen them getting out! The sight brought lubricant to my optic.” “Scrambling like turtles stuck on their backs?” Oh – those, he definitely remembers. “Better. Remember that video you sent of the cat-looking thing surrounded by fermented fruits?” “The raccoon?” “Yeah! Struggling to sit up, then falling back in again!” You snort louder. “Ah. An absolute classic. You should totally film it next time, I would kill to see it.” “Oof. I’d love to, but I’m not sure I can do that while on shift. Ask Soundwave. Nothing escapes him.” Especially any contamination of the medbay – his processor shudders at the memory. At least it wasn’t Commander Starscream. Fooling around’s been kept to Knock Out’s habsuite ever since. And outside the ship, but that’s not the Intelligence Officer’s business.

“More than you know…” you say. Your tiny digits sneakily stroke the protomatter between his hip and thigh. The touch isn’t sensual. At least he doesn’t think it’s supposed to be. You’re not shy about squeezing, biting or running your glossa over it. This feels different. Hesitant.

“You know… you rarely visit first.” He sputters. “It’s not that I don’t want to or anything!” He shifts his frame and cranes his neck to take a good look at you. No success. “It’s that… I’m still a soldier, and they’re my superiors.” “I know that, silly. I’m talking about how you always let Knock Out have the first go at me before either of your shifts start. Why is that?” “I…” He shakes his helm. “Come on, second place doesn’t make any difference. As long as I get to pay you a visit, I’m happy!” His vox is strained. He meant to sound cheerful. What came out felt like rust being scraped off mesh.

You sink your digits into his thigh. Not enough to hurt. Never enough to hurt. A single fleshie can’t hurt a Cybertronian. But it’s clearly meant as a warning. Even he can tell that.

“Dude, just ask to go first. Knock Out is lovely and all, but you shouldn’t neglect yourself for his sake. I want you to come around and let loose before anyone else. Hell, you deserve it. Do you want me to ask Megatron personally? I can do that, no prob-” “No!” It comes out too desperate. “No,” he repeats. Softer. “The others don’t do well with favorites. Uh… except maybe Soundwave, but he doesn’t count.” Breakdown cringes. He wants no part in their power struggles, especially Commander Starscream’s. Else he’d end up at the barrel of his Master’s cannon.

“Okay… but my point still stands. Ask Knock Out to reschedule next time orr I’m bringing Megatron into this.” His vents huff, servos drawn into fists.

“Got it,” he relents. “I’ll talk to him, but if he refuses-” “He won’t refuse,” you say none-too-softly. “We’ve had a chat post-coitus.” He blinks. “You cannot be serious.” “Low and behold, I am. What? Did you expect me not to address it?” “He’s going to be furious at me.” “Like hell . If he so much as lifts a digit, I’ll be happy to inform Megatron and get him put in his place. He’s your superior in the medbay, not outside of it last I checked. And trust me, I’ve been checking.” He clenches his jaw and offlines his optic. “We’re not…” he starts gently, leveling his words carefully. “We’re not Newsparks. There’s a balance we’ve established on the Nemesis. All of us. Bringing Lord Megatron into this won’t offset the balance. It’ll destroy it. What we have here,” he gestures at the small habsuite. “Is thanks to his generosity. I don’t want to lose this because of some petty interface stuff. If he intervenes… I doubt we’ll still be able to visit.” There’s a long pause. He gives you the time to mull it over. An apology already on his glossa. “I understand. I know it’s not my place to call the shots. Part of me wishes that…” You swallow. “Part of me wishes that I could make things easier for you guys. You’ve all been through so much, and I know I’m only the ship’s resident pet or whatever, but I can throw my weight around a bit. You know, use my position for good?” “For good? Primus, you’re already doing us enough good!” “Hm, not exactly. You’re the ones helping me with my heat when he’s not around. Ugh – I would be suffering without you guys.” You squeeze his thigh. “Man-” you laugh nervously. “I hope I’m not getting too sappy. You’re, like, the only one I can have these conversations with.” His fans stutter. “Really? Not even Lord-” “Not even,” you repeat with finality. There’s a comfortable silence. Breakdown is smiling to himself.

“Hey, big guy.” “Yeah, squishy?” “Wanna kiss?” “Is that even a question?” he asks as he picks you up from his lap, servos cradling your fragile human frame. “Mmm, you know the answer.” You touch the sides of his face. His cooling fans flip to the second setting. Your hands are soft. Incredibly soft. His vents cease functioning entirely as you kiss him. Your glossa is warm and wet. His circuits crackle with charge. How could something so small push his systems into overdrive? When you pull away, he’s left cold and yearning. You don’t waste a klik undressing yourself, tossing your frame coverings over his servos and onto the berth. His lips find yours again. You devour his intake like your fuel tanks are empty.

Knock Out satiated you groons ago, but you’re already running hot with want. His heavy engine purrs. “Someone’s eager to get spiked,” he mutters against your intake. You ex-vent sharply and kiss again, grinning against his lips. He slides a digit between your legs, which you immediately part. There’s still feeling in this one, taking in the heat of your slick valve. There’s no trace of your last interface, only a craving for more. A hiss escapes you as he rubs the digit over your minuscule anterior node. Your hips buck into him, teeth grazing his lip.

“Please, stop teasing already. You know I can’t take it.” “I’m not a tease - that’s Knock Out’s job.” He swipes his glossa over your intake. “I’m the total opposite. So, what do you say? Is your little valve ready to take my spike?” Your optics widen, lubricating in excitement. “Oh finally!” You press your helm against his. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this! I’m so glad the recent energon haul got you enough to mass displace.” “Actually, I’ve been rationing my energon for a deca-cycle!” You step away from his helm and look at him in… strange horror. “You what?” There’s pity in your optics and disappointment furrowing your optical ridge.

Oh frag him! Why did he have to open his intake? “It’s nothing to worry about, I swear! I’ve done this plenty of times in the past – there was this time my unit was stranded in the Sea of Rust and there was no energon for almost a whole deca-cycle! Impressive, right? You don’t see any seekers surviving that!” Your horrified expression worsens. “What do you mean you’ve been starving yourself for weeks just to mass displace and fuck me?”

“Come on, it’s not really starving! We bots can deal with it better than you humans!” he stammers, engine revving in panic. “It’s not about that – it’s about sacrificing yourself for… for this!” you gesture at your body. “Fuck’s sake, you could have told me! I was waiting for you to ask! I could have gotten you the energon ages ago!” “Then why didn’t you?” The words smash through his intake before he can stop them, leaving him to clean up the mess.

His spark tightens when you flinch. It’s the first time he’s startled you. The first time he’s seen you scared. “I… I didn’t…” Your gaze falls. “Scrap, I’m so sorry! It’s not my place to say it, I didn’t mean-” “It’s fine,” you gently stop him. He immediately yields. “You don’t have to apologize. I just… didn’t expect it to be this bad.” A sigh leaves your intake. “I still want to help, though. If Knock Out can mass displace almost every time he visits, isn’t there plenty of energon to go around? Don’t you also work in the medbay on top of everything? You deserve at least the same amount of rations.” “It’s more complicated than that,” he mutters. “Knock Out outranks me.” “So? You’re just one bot, it won’t drain the reserves.” He presses a servo to his helm. “My frame type’s the issue. Us warrior class bots need far more energon than the average vehicon.” “Yes, and? You’re still just one more war frame. Who else is there? Megatron, Dreadwing – that makes three.” You bite your lip when you meet his optic. “Let me give you a hand. I’ll leave the whole thing with Knock Out alone if you let me help with this.” “I…” His vents huff. “Okay. I’ll let you take care of it. But, please tell him not to summon me. Else it’ll seem suspicious.” A smile tugs at the corner of your intake. “Got it. Easier done than said.” Hesitating, you reach out to touch his cheekplate. He leans in. You take a deep in-vent. “I’m sorry for blowing up like that. I’ve been so worried about everyone lately, I’ve overstepped so many boundaries. The energon thing just… drove me off the edge.” “It’s okay,” he says, unsure of his own words. “It happens to the best of us. If it’s any comfort,” he grimaces, “Knock Out’s been riding my tailpipe about my energon intake for the whole deca-cycle. That’s why I… tried to keep it a secret. Until now.” “Did it work on him?”

“Frag no!” He laughs. “For all his drawbacks, he’s the closest thing to a doctor on this ship. Noticing something’s wrong’s part of his primary code!” His laughter dies down. “Sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I definitely ruined the mood.” “Not at all.” You press your cheek against his. “If it’s any comfort on my part, I’ve been called someone else’s name during interface.” His optic buzzes in its socket. “Who?” he demands without meaning to. “Who?” He repeats, far softer – now a polite question. “No one in High Command, sadly,” you say like you’ve read his mind, adding an apologetic shrug. “Another human before the alien shebang happened.” “Ah.” He averts his optic to hide his disappointment. “Come on, man. You know I would have immediately rung you up if Starscream had been moaning Megatron’s name during overload.” He cracks a smile. “I guess you’re right.” “Gossip girls forever?” You offer your fist. “Gossip girls forever,” he agrees, tapping it with his digit. You both mimic an explosion and draw your servos away in slow motion. “Still not sure what explosive punches have to do with gossip.” “Shhh - it’s a human bestie thing.” You kiss him again. Gently at first, then harsher with his wordless encouragement – your hunger makes his engine rev. “Want to start with valve to glossa action? How about we keep mass-displacement for the final course?” “Like I’ll ever refuse a free refueling.” You snicker. The noise is so precious it makes his joints weak. Lying on his abdomen with you in his servos, you writhe as he presses his glossa to your valve. “Fuck,” you hiss. “You okay?” he’s unable to hide the smugness in his tone. “I thought Knock Out had the first taste.” “ Fuck , Knock Out. I need your glossa right now. No one else’s.” His fans shudder. Once, handling someone so small was circuit-frying. He’d been with plenty of minicons, but never an organic. Those bots could take a good pounding. Fleshies? Not so much.

“Fuck.” You shiver as his glossa rubs up and down your pretty valve. Your hips buck into it. He grins between your legs and licks again. And again. And again. Until he feels your servos on his crest. “I need to ride your face,” you say – more declaration than request. He blinks, grin widening. “That desperate, huh?” “Shut up,” you growl – too adorable for your own good. How he wants to squeeze and smother you against his face. Your legs are soft on either side of his cheeks, servos gripping onto his crest with impressive strength for a creature so small and frail. He holds his glossa out for you to use as you please, two digits holding your hips in case you tumble off. “How…” You pant. “How are you this good?” He shrugs with his free arm. His vents blast harder. “I’m not even doing anything,” he mumbles with his glossa out. “Of course you are. You’re being your sweet himbo self,” your words falter as you keep riding. 

His cheekplates heat up. “Uh, a what now?”

There’s no answer, only your legs shaking as you furiously grind against his intake. You grip onto his crest, your entire frame shaking. “Breakdown!” you call out, vox breaking. A sudden burst of charge travels down his interface array. His pressurized spike clanks against his panel. “Frag,” he groans. His spike’s throbbing, Ugh, it hurts like he swung it against a wall.

At least you’re oblivious to his, uh, mishap – twitching against his glossa while trying to slow your ventilation. The plating of hips shifts and his panels release his array. His valve is soaking with transfluid, steam almost emanating off of it after overheating for half a groon. The cold air makes his spike twitch. “Is it… is it time?” you ask weakly, turning around to look at his lap. “Oh hey, so that’s where the noise came from.” He cringes, but still helps you get down. You scurry towards the middle of the berth and cheer out “Show me the goods, big boy!” Mass displacement is something he’d done in the past – back on Cybertron when there was plenty of energon to go by. Now it’s just a waste. Not for you, obviously! Primus, you’re worth every last drop. His working receptors buzz with sensation. System diagnostics appear at the corner of his vision. Mass conversion: successful

Warning:

Minimum energon required: 70%

Current level: 93% His joints are calibrated, there’s no ache in his processor, subspace feels fine – everything’s in working order. He can rest easy and focus on the important stuff. “Woah.” you beam at him. It’s uncanny to see you… so much bigger than he’s used to.

The hug is sudden but not unwelcome. Your helm comes up to his chassis, but only barely. It doesn’t take long for you to pull him on top (the close view is to offline for), and drag him into a kiss. His spark pulsates like never before.

“Please, spike me,” you beg. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.” He looks down at his spike. Then back at you. There are many things he’s learned as a nurse, one of which being: pick the smallest pair of forceps when operating on minicons. Sadly, he cannot replace his spike with a smaller one. But he can prepare you for the operation. “Hey, how about I get you started with something else before you get the hammer?” He lifts up the servo with functioning receptors and flexes his digits. “Promise you’ll rail me afterwards.” “Promise.” He grins.

He’s a denter first and all, but he’s always been careful with his servos back when brushing debris off his comrades after a busted demolition job. It felt like second nature to him. They were at the bottom of the scrapheap. Caring for others, even in small ways, made their plight bearable. His own at least. He pushes in, chuckling as you furrow your optical ridge, intake slightly agape. “Does it sting?” “No.” Another digit is carefully added. You whimper and grit your dentae. One digit and a half then. “What about now? How do you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?” “Oh shut up…” Your tiny valve is absolutely soaked, slick with human lubricant, struggling to accommodate him. If you’ve taken the entire High Command, you can take him. Sure, he’s been told his spike is a “weapon forged by Solus herself”, but Megatron’s definitely bigger. And you’ve fragged him. Everyone knows that. Your valve’s more durable than it seems.

You clench around his digits, expression so lovely it’s clear you’re about to overload. He cautiously curls a digit inside of you. The gentle pressure’s an easy way to make your valve calipers clam down on him. Another whimper escapes you as he rubs at the spot. Your pedes push against his thighs, a desperate plea to stop. But he knows better. “Cute,” he thinks as your sweet noises intensify. He never expected fleshies to be so adorable – but then again, you’re not like the other squishies. Lord Megatron picked the best one. “Please,” you whisper. “This is torture.” “Aw, I thought you wanted to overload.” “You and I…” You swallow. “We both know damn well you’re teasing me. I need your spike, not… not this .”

He laughs. “I keep my promises, don’t worry about it.” He pulls you flush against him, legs over his hips. Bracing himself on one servo, he’s got an arm cautiously wrapped around your waist. “Comfortable? How do you rate your position on a scale from 1 to-” “Breakdown, I swear to fu-” “Got it. It’s hammer time.” He grins. You grip onto his digits and offline your optics. He pushes in. You suck in a sharp in-vent. He pauses.

“Go on,” you say after a moment. “I can take it. I guess I didn’t expect it to be so big.” “Big?” He blinks at you. “You’re the one taking Lord Megatron. He’s larger than me.” “Not his spike.” You chuckle. He looks up at the ceiling in wonder. “Wow.” “Wow indeed. Now please put that spike to good use.” Like a good soldier and seasoned interface partner, he follows your orders. Ridge by ridge, you take him, grip tightening and dentae gritting until he reaches your limit. He shudders. You’re clenching around him like a cold press, crushing his spike harder than any minicon valve. You seem on the verge of shutting down. “You okay?” “...yeah.” “Do you want me to stop?” “Don’t you dare.” “Got it.” His smile widens.

The pace is incredibly slow. Yeah, Knock Out likes having his circuits rearranged – and yeah, most vehicons he’s been with want to get railed into oblivion. But taking his time with you feels just as good. Charge is building along his array. He wants to tell you so many things – how you’re so beautiful holding onto him like he’s the center of your universe, whimpering and repeating his name listlessly – or how he wishes this could last forever, that he can forget the war when your arms are wrapped around his frame, no matter how small.

Your optics come back online and meet his. Wordlessly, you beckon him closer. He leans down, now bracing himself on his arm. Your servos find his face. “Have I ever told you how handsome you are?” you ask, nuzzling his cheekplate. It’s not the first time you’ve done so. But at this moment, either from mass displacement or the sight of you sprawled out before him (or both), his spark throbs in his chassis. His array is pulsating with charge. He presses his forehelm against yours. “Yeah. You always do.” “Good. Because I love you.” Your lips meet his. The charge explodes. Your valve clamps down on his spike. Sparks shoot through his sensors – his engine roars. The world stands still.

Then, he breaks the silence. “By…” his vox crackles with static. He recalibrates his vocalizer. “By Alchemist Prime…” there’s still a buzz to his words. “What was that?” “You tell me,” you answer shakily. Neither of you move for a while. Diagnostics report: Energon level: 87% He pulls out of you, earning a wince. You loosen your grip on his neck and fall back. His optics widen at the load of transfluid trickling out, valve still twitching. He feels equal parts pride and wonder something so small took his spike. Should he tell you about it? You appreciate greatly when he says what’s on his processor. Not everyone does. “Good job,” he tells you, petting your helm like the human he saw congratulating its furry companion. Your expression spells confusion. Then, you grin wider than he’s ever seen and pet him back. His engine rumbles in content. “I would die for you,” you declare without a hint of sarcasm in your vox. He laughs nervously. “Please don’t, Lord Megatron would kill me.” “Then I’d kill him first.” “But you’d already be dead.” “I’d come back as a ghost.” He laughs again, twice as nervous. “Anyway, was it… good?” “You blew my back out.” “I – what ?” “You rearranged my guts.” “Wait, are you about to offline-” “Human euphemisms.” “Oh.” “It means it was the best frag of my life.” “I… oh wow.” He allows you to pull him back on top. “You’re the best I could have asked for.” His cooling fans are blasting. “Um…” “You’re my favorite blueberry popsicle.” “Uh, thanks?” “I love it when you’re blue in the face.” More energon rushes to his cheeks.

“Oh, um – you too!” Frag - that didn’t sound smooth. He hasn’t been this bad since he was newly forged. “Raspberry and blueberry,” you press your helm against his. “My favorite mix.” You kiss him again, less desperately – finally satiated for the next cycle. Or at least a few groons. “Can you cuddle in this form?” Or…do you have to turn back?” He hits his chassis with pride. “Another groon won’t hurt me – I’ll do just fine..” “Aw hell yeah!” He lies down and you quickly take your place at his side, burying your face in the crook between his neck and his chassis. You let out a hum when his digits stroke your back. He can sense the minuscule hairs on your plating. They tickle.

A klik passes by, but you can’t seem to sit still. You push his arm away, readjust yourself, then pull it back in, only to start again a nanoklik later. “Everything ok?” You make a noise of frustration – so adorable it makes his spark ache.

“Give me a sec,” you mutter.

He watches as you get up to fetch your blanket and pillows. “Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I barely managed to clean up before coming over.” “Don’t matter.” You cover his side in them. “I just want to cuddle you.” He bites his glossa. You’re too sweet for your own good. Once comfortable, his servo comes back to stroke your skin. You shiver. “Are you cold? Do you want me to get the heating pad?” “No. You’re warm enough. It just… feels nice to be with you this way. I meant what I said. I do love you. Maybe not on Knock Out’s level – he’s known you before my great grandparents were even born.” He affectionately taps your helm. “I mean, yeah – but what does that have to do with us? Do you humans have a monogamous contract or something?” Your expression says it all. “Oh,” he drawls. “Uh – it doesn’t mean that you can’t be with us, it’s that-” “I’m Megatron’s first and foremost,” you say, looking away from him and straight at the wall. “I… yes. But I mean that-” “I’m together with everyone. I know that.” You turn your attention back to him. “And no, it doesn’t bother me. I simply want to give you the praise you deserve. And the energon. Man, you need that so badly.” Resting your helm atop his chassis, you flash him a warm smile. “I love you. Don’t you ever forget that.”

[theotherrookie]

"Oh, he was so mad. He sent an angry letter not long after, you know. Unfortunately, I burned it and nothing came of it anyway."

"And I cherish the knowledge of father rotting away in a trap forever as we speak." Lucien added, then smiled at Russell's words, "Thank you."

"Yeah! Screw bad parents." Erica made her way back and plopped down next to Travis to watch Smokey, "You should see him when I'm working out. I had to bring some of his toys to the gym because he kept jumping on the treadmill with me."

Smokey enjoyed being included in whatever she was doing no matter what it was. Vandalizing a seat would keep him entertained for a while. The Twins could keep on glaring at her all they wanted.

Though their attitude seemed to falter slightly when they heard Willow laughing like that. They really dodged a bullet there.

"Sure-"

"-Just keep Skynet away from us."

The two briefly eyed Rook, before they moved just that bit closer to Russell. They normally wouldn't give up that sort of information. But after catching up with Ratchet for a bit, they were suddenly feeling in a rather chatty mood.

"Well, Five made us go see this guy who sells silver bullets."

"If you think that trick at the cinema was bad, wait until Crosshair gets to use them."

It was clear that they had some consideration for their colleague, even if they were giving her away now.

"We thought that was a waste of money-"

"-but maybe you made a bigger impression on Five than he cares to admit, big guy." Tommy added, pointing at Bill.

"Oh, those really hurt." Erica said, "We'll have to watch out."

"That's exactly it." Rook confirmed, "The funny thing is that everybody told him not to buy the whole thing. But he wanted that to be my office, you know. He thought that saying 'pretty please' would finally get me to work for him."

"Fathers can be persistent like that." Lucien said, giving a solemn nod.

"But we got away, uh?" Rook replied. Lucien nodded in return and the two fist bumped.

Smokey meowed softly, happy with the scritches. In fact, he was so happy he started making biscuits, much to the dismay of the Twins.

"Yes, you can kill us. So could anybody with a gun-"

"-or a particularly dedicated duck."

"What did you do to the car?" they added.

The two crossed their arms, not caring about Bill's, nor Erica's threats. It was no secret that they were quite jealous of their chosen ride. But that aside, they needed it to work and they definitely didn't want to sit on scratched seats.

"I think we hit them where it hurts." Erica pointed at the very hostile looks on the mercs' faces, "Yeah. Be nice and maybe you'll get it back."

She didn't care to hear what the two had to say about it. The elf's ears perked up as Ratchet screamed once again. While that was a common occurrence by now, it was followed by Willow's distant laughing.

"They're having fun." Erica made her way to the board and drew a small square on the bottom right corner so they could start a third count, "Hey, why don't we ask these guys about their friends' powers and stuff? It could be useful."

It wasn't like the Twins had anything better to do.

[sqh3e]

what if, chapter one: one and only | wc: 4.1k (proofread but still may be errors sorry) warning: use of the word dummy

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you are on the train heading back to busan, you spent the winter in seoul with friends just cause you had some free time and just ultimately needed a break from busan. you loved the city but sometimes it feels stuffy being there all the time. but the feeling of leaving and returning always puts a familiar smile on your face, you love the nostalgia of returning because when your dad would take you with him on business trips to seoul the feeling of returning home was just a comfort feeling.

you were in seoul for about a month but even returning it felt like you hadn’t been gone that long, you liked that feeling. knowing no matter where you go or how long you stay there busan will always be home. you turn and look out the window getting the view of how beautiful busan is you snap a picture of the view and slide your phone onto your lap. and smile out the window attempting to romanticize your life.

there was still about fifteen to twenty minutes left on the ride until you were officially back, your friend leehan is going to meet you at the train stop. you look around at some of the people on the train some old, some young, some families but this couple in the back of the train in particular caught your attention, occasionally glancing at them looking down at their hands intertwined with each others put a small smile on your face, you were brought back to reality at the sound of your phone dinging but you couldn’t focus on that you were at your train station.

getting out of the seat you walk off the train feeling in your pocket for your phone you pat your pockets and check your bag no phone was in sight, you ask some of the people around “hey! sorry to disturb you but have you seen a blue phone? clear case… with a photo in the back of it sticker on the back, the lock screen is a picture of me and my bunnies.” you explain, causing them to shake their heads “sorry we haven’t, hope you find it though.” they say before walking away.

“of course they hadn’t seen it, we just got off the train.” you mumbled to yourself, before looking around looking for the conductor you walked over to him and started explaining the situation “hey miss slow down, i can hardly understand.” he gave a concerned smile. “please could you just take a few minutes of your time and open the train doors for me? i just want to see if i left my phone there.” you plead, “you young people and your phones,” he sighs “fine.” you smile at him “thank you!”

once the train doors open you look around where you were sitting and in other spots but nothing, “was is my phone…? i’m sure if i dropped it, it would be here…” you mumbled to yourself. you get off the train thanking the conductor before walking off. you walk deep in thought “where could that phone be?” you think to yourself, “y/n!” your friend leehan shouts causing you to look up.

“fuck.” you whispered to yourself, you totally forgot that he was meeting you here “leehan! hi dude.” you shout back walking towards him. “i’ve been calling you for the last twenty minutes,” he said. “yeah i lost my phone just now, i think someone might have stolen it.” you laugh a little, “well uhm… that’s funny?” he says in a confused tone. “well no, but if i don’t laugh i might actually go insane so…” he nodded in response, “do you want to keep looking or just head home?” he asked, you shrugged. “i don’t know what i’m going to do.” you sit down on one of the benches in the station.

“so i assume this is more than just about a phone? hm?” he sits down next to you nudging you. “nope just about a phone!” you reassure him, “let’s get going actually, that ride from seoul to busan made me hungry. my treat.” you smile before grabbing him out of the seat leading him out of the station.

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“i really hate you for not bringing your car…” you say glaring at leehan, “okay i thought this would be more effective-” you cut him off “in what way?” you huff “this is ridiculous.” he laughs. you both continue walking along the sidewalk you bump into him every now again “so you forgot how to walk?” he said, raising an eyebrow, “maybe.” you continue to glare at him. “oh my… i’m incredibly sorry i didn’t drive my car to the train station.” he rolled his eyes, “is that what you want to hear?” you scoffed “what i would like to hear is a car engine.” you and leehan look at each other and laugh.

“just say you missed me, you act like it’s hard.” he chuckled, and you continued walking. “i miss… my phone.” you spoke fake crying, “oh okay y/n” he continued laughing. walking made everything seem like it was so far, well technically it was but the walk only made it longer and you didn’t have your phone. you constantly think about where it could be or where it could’ve gone.

you know it should be on the train but it wasn’t, and how did someone have that much time to grab your phone? this is actually hard for you considering you practically live on your phone, which was a habit you were trying to break so maybe this was just step one into breaking that habit.

“i really think we should be coming upon the cafe soon.” leehan said, “well not shit, i live in busan as well.” you say joking leehan takes off running, “last one there has to pay!” he said get further and further away. against your better judgment you started running after him even though you had no energy.

soon you both arrive at the cafe, some before others… “next time give me a head up dude!” you say trying to catch you breath, he was sitting on the step outside the cafe, “i would’ve won regardless,” he says looking up at you “yeah yeah yeah,” you sigh “just go inside so we can sit down finally.” you said. “well actually i’ve been sitti-” you cut him off “leehan. just go inside.”

he stood up laughing, swiping the dirt off his pants “if you insist.” you roll your eyes and follow behind him. the cafe hasn’t changed much in the last few months. the only thing that’s changed was the winter decorations they had up were no longer there but that was about it, and they removed the holidays menu. you look around in the cafe taking in the view from the windows and just the people around.

“yea i want the usual and i’m sure she’ll want her usual as well.” the older man infront of us said, talking to the worker, “hey i gonna go sit down.” you said to leehan and he nodded in response. you decided to sit down on the couch and look at some of the books they had on the table. you and leehan aren’t in your neighborhood yet but this was a cafe you both would stop by before school and get a bagel or doughnut on the way to school, something about being here brings back that nostalgic feeling, the smell of coffee, in the winter it’s the smell of peppermint but over the cafe always smell like some kind of cherry wood giving it a homey vibe.

soon leehan approaches you “here y/n,” he said getting you attention anytime you came to this cafe you get the same thing no matter the time of day, you always get two croissants the ends dipped in chocolate and a americano, “i don’t know how you drink that nastiness.” leehan said teasing you but also being serious he sits down next to you “it’s actually not that bad! take a sip,” you encouraged him.

he shakes his head “nope! but i will take a piece of this croissant.” he said, biting a piece of it from your hand, flakes of croissant fall onto your lap. he laughs putting his hand under his chin to not make more of a mess and you roll your eyes taking a piece of the croissant with your other hand and eat it.

“did you have fun in seoul?” he asks, taking a sip of his milk, “first of all why do you have milk and cookies? don’t you usually get a cinnamon stick? but yes! i had so much fun in seoul, everyone was asking about you.” you said in between sips of your drink.

“oh okay y/n! the food police… i just wanted to try something new, not new but you know, different.” he responded and you nodded, “don’t ignore what else i said leehan,” you nudged him “you should’ve come.”

“and miss out on all the fun here? pst i don’t think so.” he jokes and you laugh, “you can’t keep avoiding her forever leehan,” you say looking in his direction taking another sip of you americano. “i’m not avoiding her, i’m giving her space like she asked for.” he says in a rather convincing tone, but it more so sounds like he’s trying to convince himself.

“enough about that though, i’m just glad you enjoyed yourself, i’m sure you needed it.” he bites his cookie, “okay these are hard.” he said as he crunched on the cookie and you both made eye contact and laughed.

you both continued to eat your croissant and laugh, “so how are we going to find your phone?” leehan asks “i’m not even sure… it could be anywhere by now, i’ll probably just get a new one.” you add, “was your phone dead or charged?” he asks “should be charged, why…?” you ask, dragging out the y in why. “cause i have find my iphone i have your location we can track it,” he suggests “AND YOU SAY THIS NOW????? DO IT HURRY!!! i might die without my phone for real, i’m already hyperventilating-” you’re cut off by leehan “ok y/n ok!” he laughs, “ouuu… so actually my phone just died…” he says “leehan. dong hyun. stop.” you say glaring at him.

“it probably died while i was calling you 8 times back to back…” he said, sighing, “dong hyun… let’s just go home just- let’s go home.” you continue glaring at him, you both stand up grabbing your cups and cleaning up your trash. leehan throws the cookies he had in the trash and you both look at eachother and laugh, “they didn’t even break when they hit the bottom,” you say laughing.

leaving the cafe the sun was finally out, a few clouds in the sky and you swear you could hear birds chirping, the smell of water and trees filled your nose as you exited the cafe. “busan is so beautiful during the day,” you say while taking in the view around you “y/n you grew up here” leehan said “and? i can’t admire its beauty?” you replied and he laughed.

“don’t you get so much nostalgia when you walk down these streets?” you asked, “reminds me of when we were kids are your big head would run along the road, our parents following closely behind us.” you sigh laughing lightly, “those were good times, then in highschool you ran off with that guy and left me to walk the streets of busan alone…” he adds “you’re so dramatic, we all walked together… you just walked a little slower.” you say and he sighs.

“you ever think about him?” he says and it catches you off guard “all the time dummy, he was my first love so of-” leehan cuts you off “i thought i was your first love???” he says jokingly and you nudge him “don’t flatter yourself, also you need to work on that you constantly cut me off when i talk it’s lowkey annoying.” you said and he shrugged “start getting to the point faster.”

you roll your eyes, you both continue walking down the street waving at some of the residents, who live in the area. the street was fairly quiet and empty with a few people here and there but that was typical for this neighborhood, everyone was either working or just stayed inside. faint sounds of waves crashing into each in the distance the more you walked the closer you got to your destination.

home was so far yet so close, you just wanted to flop down in your bed after the last few weeks you’ve had before you had to resume life back home, you weren’t ready to go home just yet though. “leehan where are you going after this?” you asked, blocking the sun with your eyes “home,” he said “why? what’s up?” “let’s go by your house first then i’ll walk home from there!” you suggested, “huh? why? going to my house makes the walking distance from yours a bit further.” he said, “it makes sense though, we’d have to pass your neighborhood to get to mine.”

“i think you’re just trying to get rid of me,” he said with a smirk on his face “you’re actually annoying so yes!” you said “now let’s take this detour and go to your beloved house.” you both make a right turn, this time you both we’re walking in the direction of the water. the sun reflecting on the water just right, the water glistening, waves crashing into the rocks, the sight was just beautiful.

a light breeze in the air, “why couldn’t you just have driven… ugh!” you said “this is easier since everything is within walking distance, y/n stop complaining.” leehan responded “unfortunately i was born to complain and-” you were cut off “oh ok.” leehan chimed in.

you playfully pushed him, “you should’ve brought your charger and charged your phone at the cafe, now we have to walk all the way to your house to charge your phone.” you said, “i have my charger,” he said pulling it out his pocket “remember you suggested we should leave so we did.” you glare at him.

“kim dong hyun… i’m actually going to kill you!” you say and he takes off running and laughing, you would never admit it but moments like this were your favorite. bickering like siblings, well you two basically are this just showed how close you two truly are not that you need the reassurance. you were gone for a month and both you and leehan were able to pick up right where you left off.

leehan is like your little brother, no leehan is your little brother. since you were kids you and leehan have been conjoined to each other, even when you both got into a relationship you still found and made time for each other. and realistically if any man talked to like leehan did you’d most likely leave them alone, but you know leehan means no harm and plus the back and forth and bickering is mutual.

“ahhh help me!! this crazy lady is chasing me!!” he said continuing the run getting further and further from you. “shut up dummy before people take you seriously!” you shouted back.

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you both arrive at his house you see his car parked nicely alongside the house and you pinch him “that’s for not driving your car,” you say pinching him again “and that’s for not keeping your phone charged.” “OW!” he shouts “can we just go inside? SAFELY?” he adds “yes! go inside so i can tell your parents how you neglected me the whole walk over here.”

his jaw drops in a dramatic way, “wow y/n…” he said putting his hand against his chest as if you stabbed him in the heart, you roll your eyes at him before brushing past him knocking on the door “y/n, why are you knocking i have a key plus my parents aren’t even here.” he said and you look over notice there were no cars besides his parked along the house

“oh…” you say in a low tone he laughs as he makes his way towards the door unlocking it and you practically push him down to get into the house. for some reason his house smelled like apple cinnamon? you couldn’t quite put your finger on the smell but it wasn’t mrs kim's usual smell but you couldn’t deny it smelled good.

you make your way to their living room plopping onto the couch sighing loudly, you hear leehan close and clock the door in the distance. he grabs your legs and fling them off the couch onto the floor sitting where your legs were. “can you not?” we just walked for like an hour!” you say sighing sitting up, leaning on the arm of the couch.

“it was only 15 mins… 30 mins all together.” he laughed, you mocked his laugh “dude go charge your phone, i’m literally so phone deprived right now… like i’m actually starting to feel colors.” you say shoving him off the couch, “and i hear sound.” he says “well i hope so?” you say laughing “you’re supposed to hear sound dummy, now go charge your phone.”

he rolls his eyes “you know what i meant.” he walks towards the kitchen and you follow him, “everything is still the same” you said “you only left for a MONTH, stop saying that like stuff was supposed to change.” he says plugging his phone into the cabinet outlet, he placed his phone one the table the charging screen showing up on his phone.

“do you keep those “call this number if you find this phone” on your phone?” he asks, “and who would they call? my number?” you respond sarcastically “no dummy you put a trusted adult number, cause obviously you can’t be trusted with your own phone.” be replied and just then his phone powers on and you smile excitedly.

he grabs his phone “don’t get too excited i need to text my parents first and let them know i made it home.” he said but you knew he was doing it to tease you, you watched as he went to message and slowly started typing you getting more and more impatient. “kim dong hyun you type faster than this on a bad day.” he just laughs “okay okay!”

“okay let’s see uhm, well according to the location of your phone it’s still at the train station.” he said, causing you to sigh “of course it is… cause it being anywhere else would’ve been too easy.” you huff and lightly bang your head on the counter and leehan playfully pushes your head down once before you start groaning.

“why can’t things just be so simple, everything is hard!” you complain, “cause if everything was easy life wouldn’t be fun…” he adds and you sigh. “and this is fun?” “well… kinda? it’s like a scavenger hunt for your phone.” he says.

you know he was trying to make light of the situation but sometimes you just wanted someone to agree with you.

“i think i’ll head home now.” you say as you make your way out the kitchen, “wait really? y/n you just got here don’t you wanna rest for a bit?” he asked with a confused expression, “i do but i’m sure my parents are waiting for me.” you replied, which was a lie… your parents hadn’t even known you were back yet. you wanted to surprise them but looks like you were the one in for the surprise.

he squinted his eyes at you before nodding, “okay but at least let me take you home.” he said, “leehan it’s fine i don’t mind walking alone,” you replied he knew was about to fight a loosing battle so he just didn’t say anything and brushed past you heading past the stairs into his room. “y/n!” he shouted from his room and you followed the voice.

“hm?” you say standing in the doorway and his room was still the same, bed still in the same place as when you were kids, same posters and stuff, same lamp, dresser just same everything. he turned around and faced you “take this,” he said, handing you his apple watch “you don’t have your phone but you can use this you know if it’s an emergency or something.” he added and you take the watch, adjusting it to your wrist size.

“alright leehan,” you say smiling “i’m off to hopefully get proper rest!” you say teasing him and he laughs “alright y/n be safe, call me when you get home… no pun intended.” he says, you give him a nodded and you share a hug before leaving his house.

a walk alone was probably just what you, especially after leaving seoul being surrounded by people. now how would you explain to your parents your back a month early from seoul…? “fuck..” you say lowly fidgeting with your hands as you walked, that didn’t even cross your mind. leehan knew you were going to seoul but not for how long so when you told him you were back there was no reason for him to question you.

you parents on the other hand… you sighed “what am i going to do?” you think to yourself, the reason you went to seoul was of course for your friends but also cause you felt like your life in busan was moving too slow but in seoul you felt like you life was moving too fast.

the majority of the walk was just you and your thoughts, you continuously checked the time on the watch only a minute passed. “maybe i should’ve let leehan take me home.” you think to yourself, it was only around two and to think you only just left seoul about two-three hours ago.

you follow the same direction you and leehan had walked earlier, suddenly the watch chimes and you look at it, it’s just a message from leehan mom to him. and it dawned on you that the watch is connected to his phone which kinda makes you uncomfortable considering you can see who calls and texts him.

you were like ninety nine percent sure he wouldn’t of lended it to you if he didn’t trust or just mind you using it. so the thought you had soon dissolved and you continued walking.

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after what seemed like ages you finally arrived at your place, you don’t see your parents cars so you assume they must be gone you fiddle around in your bag for your key you grab it and put the mey into the keyhole before twisting it and unlocking the door.

you take a deep breath and walk into the house you see your brother on the couch “i knew i smelled something dead…” he says looking in your direction. you roll your eyes walking past him ruffling his hair before dashing upstairs to get some rest.

you start to make your way to your room “oh yeah by the way, some guy came by and dropped this off.” your brother says and you stop on the stairs turning around heading back towards the living room, “dropped what off?? and what guy.” you asked, “ahhh the questions y/n i don’t know look on the table.” you replied and you walked over to the table.

to your shock there was your phone on the table, “what the fuck???” was all you managed to get out. “how-” you were cut off by your brother “he also said not to tell you who he was and that in the upcoming days you’ll find out,” he huffed “i guess he thinks this is a movie but i’ll play along.” he added, “what???? why is my phone HERE and not at the train station???? and when did it get here????” you ramble on and on.

the last thing you had expected was to see your phone laying on the table, you pick it up and a sticky note falls off the back of it you read the note to yourself “just wanted to return your phone to you safely without actually returning it to you.” was what was written, you sighed.

“then he said something like say the one and only…? and you’d know what that meant… freaks.” your brother spoke up, but that sentence just wasn’t ringing a bell… you don’t know why or what but you need the rest of this week was going to get crazy and this was just a taste of it.

masterlist > next

d’s notes: what if is here YAYY! first chapter i’m super excited and i really really really hope you all enjoy this mini series :D hope you all have a great day or night!

taglist: @kamfaye @kukkurookkoo @woonhakiastic @dobbiesvvorld @taylorluvation @molensworld @nujeskz @yuzuksi @beaabz @leralise @bloomnspring @yurisblooming @pumpkg @heeheesang @enzstr @taesanfav @janjoonty @sanataesan ♡

© sqh3e

[icarusflewsworld]

Rhysand & Cassian & Azriel X OC

Hello, here is the chapter 31 of a fanfiction on the world of Acotar where our three favorite Batboys are the mates of a single woman.

I hope you liked it. Feel free to tell me what you thought about it so I can improve because I don't feel like I write very good smut scenes.

The next chapter is Rhysand's smut and will be published on Wednesday, February 5th.

I send you lots of big kisses and thank you again for all your love. Love, ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

! Don't forget to read the previous chapters ! : Here

Chapter 31

"We should get up," Cassian mumbled, stroking the hair of his sleeping soulmate who had landed in Rhysand's arms during the night.

It had been hours since all three of them had been awake while the sun was now high in the sky. But they couldn't bring themselves to leave their soulmate to get up and didn't have the heart to wake her up to take her with them while she was sleeping peacefully.

They just passed her around every hour so they could hold their soul mate close to them equally.

Rhysand, still in the same spot in the bed, turned on his side, his back to Cassian, while taking his soulmate with him. "No, we're good here." He tightened his grip a little more around Luxiana, placing his nose on the top of her head. "The world can wait."

Feeling the blonde's bare chest on his, the lord frowned as he cast a narrowed glance over his shoulder at his brothers. "Wasn't she in a nightie last night?"

Azriel on the other side of the bed smirked. He had his hands behind his head and his gaze fixed on the ceiling. "Yes, but tonight she wanted cookies. I had to keep her busy while they baked."

Cassian, understanding his brother's words, gasped in offense. "You, you bastard. Without us?"

Azriel burst out laughing, "I don't regret anything, it was the best sex of my entire life."

A bitter taste of jealousy electrocuted the other two Illyrians but at the same time, the joy their brother felt was so contagious that they couldn't help but feel happy and smile.

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened with such violence that it smashed against the wall that held it.

All four of them sat up in surprise. Even Luxiana had her eyes wide open and were now fully awake.

"Amren," Rhysand cried, glaring at the fae who had just woken his soulmate again. "That's twice, there won't be a third, I warn you."

“Like you could stop me from doing anything,” Amren replied nonchalantly, not even a little intimidated. “Besides, it wasn’t my idea this time.”

Luxiana looked around. How had she ended up in Rhysand's arms? It didn't matter. She lay back down, dragging the high lord with her to wiggle in his arms while repositioning herself properly.

"It's mine!" Mor shouted at the top of her lungs as she entered the room, smiling. "You must get up!" she demanded, bending down to grab the Illyrians' clothes from the ground and throwing them in their faces. "You have things to do, duties and obligations to fulfill."

Cassian sighed loudly as he lay back down while Azriel groaned as he reluctantly got up to get dressed.

“Where is the book? I have to translate it,” Amren asked, looking around the room.

Rhysand pointed to the leather square on the bedside table before planting his face in Luxiana's neck to breathe in the scent of his soulmate deeply.

“Rhys, I said get up,” Mor demanded, grabbing the high lord by the ankle and jerking him out of bed.

He let out a sort of grunt of refusal as he struggled with all his weight to stay in his place.

Luxiana whimpered a sort of sob "Oh no, I don't want to get up."

Rhys' cousin let out a small laugh. "Oh but you can keep sleeping," she assured, "but not them. They have work to do!"

“Oh!” Luxiana said in realization. “Yessssss,” she finally cried out in joy. “I’m going to have the bed all to myself.”

She extracted herself from Rhysand's arms to pass over him and arrive between the lord and Cassian. Then she got on her knees to push the two Illyrians with her hands trying to roll them to the edge but they were too heavy. "Aren’t you ashamed?" she teased them all smiles. "Come on, get up, you have work to do."

Cassian laughed as Luxiana tried with all her might to make him move. He looked her up and down, savoring his soulmate's naked body next to him. Which, of course, awoke his erection even more - which never slept in the presence of the blonde, by the way...

Luxiana, following his gaze, realized that she was naked. She gasped in surprise, covering her breasts with her arms and squeezing her thighs.

She glared accusingly at Azriel -who was smirking- before turning her gaze back to Mor. A wide grin spread across Luxiana’s face as she turned around to stand on the bed, stopping hiding. She put one hand on her hip and the other on the back of her head. "How do you like me, Mor?" she asked, raising her eyebrows repeatedly in a perverted manner. "Please, stroke my ego. Do you find me hot?"

The three Illyrians tensed, freezing and widening their eyes at once, but Mor could see enough before they realize and react. She looked her up and down hungrily, nodding. "You're really hot."

“Luxiana!” Azriel cried sharply, running to the bed and erecting a wall of black shadow between herself and Mor.

"Mor!" Rhysand growled at the same time, leaping onto his two feet to glare at his cousin.

Cassian threw himself at Luxiana to grab her by the hips and pull her towards the bed, pinning her to the mattress in his arms but giving her a dark look.

Luxiana was dying of laughter as the army commander began to wrap her in the bed blanket like a sausage.

Rhysand walked over to his cousin and Amren, pushing them by the shoulders and getting them out of the room. "We're coming, it's okay," he growled before slamming the door in their faces.

Luxiana was still laughing, wrapped in her blanket but she was so warm and comfortable that she eventually calmed down. Her eyelids grew heavy again. "Have a nice day," she said vaguely with a big smile before falling back to sleep.

***

A few hours later, and as Luxiana had woken up alone in bed with a feeling of emptiness and coldness in her heart, realizing that she already missed the three Illyrians. She had then gotten up, showered and dressed in a pretty long dark blue dress with silver sequins.

She had braided her hair, blushing at the memory of the punishment Azriel had given her that night. Although a part of her had been dying to walk around with her hair down every day to receive the Illyrian's punishments, another part of her had been so exhausted by that night -despite the incredible final orgasm- that she wasn't ready to do it again just yet.

She went down the stairs and reached the dining room where she was surprised to see the three Illyrians around the table with serious and worried faces.

Rhysand sat at the head of the table facing an open brown wooden box in front of him and a cold, dull look on his face. Cassian sat next to him with his arms crossed and Azriel was on the other side of Rhys but standing. They all three looked up at her.

“You look like you’ve seen a dead person,” she mocked as she approached. “What is that?” She pointed at the box with her chin as she sat down next to Rhys and Az, facing Cassian.

Rhysand turned the box towards her. "These are Blood Rubies sent by Tarquin declaring us mortal enemies of his court."

Cassian gritted his teeth. "There's five of them, one for each of us. I guess they found out about the book eventually."

Luxiana burst out laughing. "Tarquin sends rubies to his enemies?" She shakes her head, pouting fondly. "He's so adorably cute, I'm dreaming."

The three Illyrians stared at her with dark looks and narrowed eyes.

Luxiana gradually lost her smile as she flicked her pupils between the three. She grimaced. "Ah yes, bad audience, my fault."

Azriel huffed, closing his eyes wearily as he grabbed the bridge of his nose. "That's not cute, that's a death threat. If we set foot in his yard or if he finds us, we're dead. We're in danger now. YOU are in danger now."

Luxiana rolled her eyes with a smile. Was that why they were so worried? They were so cute too. "Oh if you knew the number of death threats I've received or the number of places I risk being executed if I set foot there... I even think there's a price on my head in the Winter Court and that I'm public enemy number 1 in the Autumn Court. Yet, no one has ever sent me a ruby. I assure you, it's cute."

The three of them widened their eyes as their lower jaws nearly dropped. Cassian laughed, "damn, I'll never get used to it."

Luxiana smiled before reaching out for a ruby. She wanted to grab one to study it. It just seemed surreal to her to send a precious stone to his enemies. Was Tarquin so intent on showing off his wealth? She was going to grab one but Azriel grabbed her wrist to stop her as Rhys slammed the box shut with a burst of his power.

“Don’t touch them,” the spymaster ordered, releasing his hand.

“They might be trapped,” Rhys explained, pulling the box back towards him.

Luxiana's heart was beating erratically and forcefully in her chest. "Own, you're too sweet, stop," she whined, placing her palms on her face to hide her blush.

The three males laughed tenderly, but Rhysand suddenly became serious again. "Besides," he hesitated, clearing his throat and casting quick, fearful glances at his two brothers who returned them. "Cass, Az and I were wondering if you might want to stay with us a little longer," he said in a serious voice.

Azriel clenched his teeth and fists as he eyed his soulmate with apprehension and even fear. She was his. She no longer had the right to leave. Not after giving herself to him entirely. She had no right but he was so afraid that she would want to.

Cassian swallowed hard as he looked up at the ceiling. He didn't want to see this and he was forcing himself not to put his hands over his ears and prevent himself from hearing an answer that could break his heart. What would he do if she wanted to leave? He couldn't even breathe properly if she wasn't near him.

Luxiana dropped her arms to her sides, taking on a serious look. She frowned in thought. Stay? What does he mean by 'stay'? They wanted her to stay? Forever? Did she want to stay? But what about Feyre ?

Sensing his confusion, a flash of panic shot through Rhysand. "Until Amren translates the book, I mean. That way we can come up with a plan and tell Feyre everything in one go," he improvised, waving his hands around.

Cassian was tense all over. He uncrossed his arms to rub his palms on his pants. His hands were sweaty. Since when did his hands get sweaty? "We'll take good care of you," he assured her, trying to sound confident with a smirk and winking at her.

Luxiana relaxed a notch as she couldn't help but blush and smile slightly. "Oh," she simply breathed. Was she disappointed? Did she wish they'd asked her to stay longer?

Azriel's jaw was clenched so tightly it hurt as a sort of disappointment and fear washed over him. He could have trembled if he hadn't focused on tensing all his muscles. "So what do you say?" he asked in a dry voice, despite himself.

Luxiana looked down, pursing her lips to think. She shouldn't stay. She was already too attached to them but they made her feel so good. It wouldn't hurt anyone if she stayed a little longer, right? Besides, she was dying to. She raised her pupils shining with determination towards them, "If you still want me, then I'm willing to stay a little longer."

Rhysand closed his eyes, breathing an almost imperceptible sigh of relief.

Cassian took a deep breath, relieved. This woman had too much impact on him.

Azriel leaned toward Luxiana, placing his index finger under her chin and holding her head up toward him. “We will always want you, Luxi. When we tell you that we are yours and you are ours, we mean it.”

Luxiana blushed even more as she smiled at the wave of pleasure that washed over her but Azriel eyed her lips and dimples. His erection woke up in his pants at the memory of what that mouth had done to him that night.

He ran his thumb over his soulmate's bottom lip, growling. He was about to say something, but Rhysand - sensing his brother's excitement - stood up and pushed him by the shoulder. "Okay, no, not now, we have things to do."

The lord took his brother's place in front of Luxiana. "Az and I have... obligations..."

"Like what?" the blonde interrupted him with a curious and innocent face.

Azriel smirked, "Things," he said mysteriously.

“Huuum,” Luxiana complained slowly, almost pouting.

Rhysand laughed as he gave in. With that face, he could tell her anything. "I have some boring high lord stuff to do and Azriel has to check on Hybern's movements with his spies. We'll be back tonight for dinner. In the meantime, you'll spend the afternoon with Cassian, is that okay?"

Luxiana nodded vigorously as she turned to the red siphons Illyrian. "What are we going to do?" she asked in a slow voice with a perverse air.

Cassian raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Oh whatever you want, sweetheart, but know that I have a preference for what you're thinking about."

"No," Rhysand stopped them authoritatively, casting a dark look at Cassian before turning him towards his soulmate. "You're going to spend the afternoon training with him. We need to gauge your fighting skills and know what you're capable of. We need to make sure you can defend yourself."

Luxiana tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. "Why?" Why did he want to make sure she could fight?

Rhysand looked down. "Because it's dangerous to be close to us."

Luxiana tilted her head to the other side, accentuating her expression. "Am I close to you?"

Rhysand only gave a small smile as he leaned down to the blonde and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "You have no idea how much," he whispered before kissing her again. "See you tonight," he straightened up and walked away.

Luxiana was frozen, her mouth hanging open as her heart slammed against her ribs, but Azriel, smirking at the sight, leaned down to kiss her just as chastely as Rhysand. He groaned, closing his eyes. How he loved kissing her. "Have a good afternoon and be careful, princess!"

He smiled even wider at the sight of his soulmate confused and lost then walked away with Rhys.

"Um, I..." Luxiana stuttered, blinking her eyes several times quickly to try to get her thoughts back in order. "What do these kisses mean?" she asked, placing her fingers on her lips, but the two Illyrians didn't stop walking towards the exit of the room. "What are we?"

The three of them burst out laughing but didn't answer and the two continued to walk away.

“But,” Luxiana begged for an answer she didn’t get.

She knelt down on her chair, grabbed the top of it with her hands and shouted to them, blushing and stuttering. "Uh, good afternoon to you too! Good luck! See you tonight!" her whole body and especially her cheeks heated with embarrassment.

"Fuck, she's so cute," Ariel growled through gritted teeth and turned around in order to go back to kissing her soulmate, unable to resist any longer.

But Rhysand grabbed his arm to stop him and pull him with him. "No," he forbade him. "And the sooner we leave, the sooner we come back."

"But look at her!" Azriel shouted, pointing at her. "She's so cute."

Rhysand shook his head. He wasn't going to look at her because if he did, he knew that, like Azriel, he wouldn't be able to resist his soulmate. "I know, I know," he breathed almost in exasperation before teleporting him and his brother away to make things easier, but reluctantly nonetheless.

Luxiana was breathing quickly and her lips were pursed, trying to calm the pleasure that was overwhelming her.

Cassian behind her was dying of laughter and even had to hold his sore abs. He hadn't seen Rhysand and Azriel this close in a long time and it was all thanks to her. And she had wanted to stay with them. She had chosen them for a few more days. She had chosen them instead of her best friend and they were so happy about it.

All three of them were bubbling with such joy that they couldn't help but smile even though they felt like jumping around.

***

Cassian and Luxiana were on the roof of a building called House of Wind where Cassian had flown him and where a training ground was located. The Illyrian was facing his soulmate with narrowed eyes and crossed arms. "I insist, you should change. Put on pants and armor," he said for the eighteenth time since they had decided to come here and Luxiana had refused to change.

The blonde rolled her eyes. She had only answered : 'No' and 'I don't need it' to Cassian but her answers didn't seem to be enough for the Illyrian. "I prefer to fight in dresses," she explained, hoping that it would be enough for him. "Long dresses, like this one, are a bit more problematic, though, they allow me to move my legs more freely than pants. Besides, my mercenary outfit is a short, flared skirt. And for armor..." She smirked pretentiously as she leaned towards Cassian. "I don't need protection. It's not like anyone could manage to reach me. Besides, I'm not afraid of injuries anyway."

Cassian tilted his chin up with a smirk. "One, as much as I'd like to see you in your mercenary outfit, I refuse to let anyone but the three of us see your little pantie while you fight them, even if you kill them afterwards."

Luxiana straightened up with a frown but Cassian grabbed her chin in his hand. "And two, I fear you have injuries."

Luxiana could barely contain her blush. She smiled. "So? What do you propose to protect me, oh my hero?" She raised her hands to the Illyrian's head to pinch both of his cheeks. "You're going to show your beautiful face to my enemies to dissuade them from harming me?" She ran her fingers down his muscular arms to feel them as her hands were barely half the size of his biceps. "Although, your muscles alone could surely deter any enemy."

She licked her lips as she looked him over in one go with lust. “Could you, um,” she cleared her dry throat as she searched for words, “take off your armor real quick, so I can, um, analyze your musculature more closely. You know, to, um, make sure everything’s in its proper place.”

Cassian laughed proudly, his ego hurting right in the heart.

He brought his soulmate's face closer to his but gritted his teeth as he held back from kissing her at the last moment. If he gave in to his urge now and kissed her, he wouldn't be able to stop and he'd want more.

He growled as he pulled away and released her. "You, evil creature who does everything to lead me astray. But I've seen through your little game, you won't escape training that easily."

Luxiana laughed in a soft mockery but Cassian took a step back, his expression serious. "I think Azriel is already working on it but we're going to build you an armor like ours so you'll be better protected. You'll have to wear it all the time."

Luxiana crossed her arms. "All the time? And why would you do that for me?"

Cassian smirked. “You should stop asking questions like that.”

Luxiana pouted. "It's not my fault you treat me like…," she froze, blushing. "Like…," Their girlfriend. Their words, their attentions, their kisses. It was like she was their girlfriend. But that wasn't it, was it? It couldn't be that, not to the three of them… She was probably imagining things.

“As our precious little treasure?” Cassian completed, placing his large hand on her cheek. “Because that’s what you are to us.”

She wanted to ask him 'Why?' but Cassian cut her off by leaning down to place a kiss on her nose. “Stop wondering, Lu.”

Then he straightened up and took a step back to get into a fighting stance, his legs spread on his foot and his fists raised in front of him. "Come on, let's fight. I need to know what you're capable of."

Luxiana was tired of blushing almost every time she was there with them and her heart was exhausted from beating madly like that because of them. She then did not seek more answers to her questions by shaking her head and trying to pull herself together. She smirked as she detailed Cassian's position almost with contempt. She was going to break him in two. She grimaced. "I don't want to hurt you."

Cassian raised an eyebrow at first before bursting into laughter. "I can't wait to see it then, show me."

Luxiana could see that he didn't believe her for a second and that he was even making fun of her. "Are you sure? Because I'm going to tear you to pieces."

Cassian continued to laugh as he motioned for her to come towards him and attack him by opening his hand and moving his fingers back and forth. "Show me, baby. Don't worry I'll go slow."

Luxiana shrugged. "Not me."

She spun around to deliver a spinning kick to his face, which the Illyrian dodged just in time by leaning back.

Cassian's eyes widened as he realized with surprise that she was really fast. She threw several punches and kicks at him that the Illyrian dodged with great difficulty. "You're doing well," he exclaimed a little in astonishment.

"I'm waiting for you to feel confident enough to hit me back," Luxiana chanted pretentiously. "I'm not even at a quarter of my abilities. Fight seriously, and I'll do the same."

Cassian was even more surprised by the serious and cold air filled with confidence and power that remained behind the playful and provocative pupils of his soulmate. He decided to trust him. "Very well."

Without warning, he threw his fist at her ribs - slowly so as not to hurt her too much if she didn't dodge it. He didn't want to hurt her. But Luxiana stopped his fist by catching his wrist with only two fingers.

She gave him a bored, half-lidded look. "Please, make a little effort."

Cassian smirked as he retrieved his arm. Then he started throwing punches at his soulmate again, which she dodged all of them. He was going faster and faster, harder and harder, and his smile became admiring as he began to run out of breath but his soulmate didn't even have a drop of sweat on his forehead.

The Illyrian punched him as fast as he could in the throat and Luxiana dodged it this time narrowly with her forearms, taking the fist there. She smiled at the pain. "Here we are. We're finally going to be able to fight properly."

She began to hit him back and threw punches and kicks at him, dodging the ones the Illyrian threw at her.

As the minutes passed, Cassian's smile grew more and more amazed. She was strong. They were evenly matched.

But they weren’t really. She was much stronger than him. She smiled as she noticed an opening. She grabbed Cassian’s fist to go under his wing and behind his back while taking his arm with her to put him in an armlock. “On your knees,” she ordered in his ear as she stood on her tiptoes. She tapped both creases of his legs with the tip of one of her feet, forcing Cassian to fall heavily onto his shins. She ran her index finger over his throat to mime slicing it. “Boom, you’re dead. I win.”

Cassian's eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and awe as he used all his strength to try and get his arm back but couldn't.

Luxiana leaned over his shoulder to see his face, still not letting go of his arm. "Don't force yourself too hard. I'm turning your strength against you in this position. If you keep struggling, you might break your arm."

Cassian looked up at his soulmate with a bright gaze of adoration and wonder as he stopped struggling. He didn't want to hurt her but he had still given it his all. Yet, she had brought him to his knees. And that, without even hurting him, which told Cassian that she too, had not given her all. If he had been an enemy, he would be dead.

Luxiana, seeing him stop moving, smirked as she ran her index finger under his chin. "Good boy," she congratulated him dominantly.

Cassian raised an eyebrow before raising his free hand to grab her throat and pull her forward, lifting himself up a little to sweep her with his leg.

Luxiana, not wanting to drag Cassian's arm with her and break it, released him with a cry of surprise as she landed on the ground. Cassian's hand was on her throat and he pinned her to the ground with it loosely.

The Illyrian mounted Luxiana, straddling her hips, while immobilizing the blonde's thighs with his shins.

Luxiana grabbed his arm that was holding her throat but Cassian, with his other hand, grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them above her head. "So," he smiled pretentiously, "you can't do anything now?"

Luxiana laughed despite herself as she felt a wave of excitement run through her at their positions. "Oh, I could escape but," she looked him up and down, licking her lips. "I'm quite comfortable here."

The tension between them became palpable. A glow of desire lit in Cassian's eyes as he brought them to his soulmate's lips. He let out a guttural sound as he dropped onto her to kiss her.

She responded to the kiss with her entire body, intertwining her tongue with the Illyrian's. She moaned at the heat of excitement that settled in her lower abdomen and Cassian groaned in response.

Electrified and disturbed by the kiss, he loosened his grip on the blonde's wrists a little, which allowed Luxiana to roll her hands and escape his grip. With a blow of her knuckles in the commander's armpit, she hit a nerve in his arm that made him numb, forcing him to release her.

Cassian groaned in pain as he pulled away from the blonde's mouth to look at her and see what was wrong with her but she gave him another quick jab in the hip that forced him to release his grip on her legs.

She was then able to wrap her shins around the Illyrian's thighs and with a skillful pelvic thrust, made them turn to exchange their position.

Cassian, pleasantly surprised, found himself under Luxiana.

The blonde smiled haughtily at him. "I changed my mind eventually."

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🚫THERE IS A SMUT SCENE AFTER THOSE WORDS ! DO NOT READ IT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO, IF YOU ARE UNDER THE LEGAL AGE OR IF YOU ARE JUST NOT ALLOWED TO -> PASS DIRECTLY TO THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER !🚫

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She ran her hands down the Illyrian's torso to the base of his pants that hid his erection, which she could feel pressing between his legs.

Cassian then possessively grabbed the sides of her throat, his thumbs on her cheeks, to pull the blonde's head towards him and press his mouth to hers.

She returned the kiss with a moan as Cassian dug his fingers into her braid and pressed on the back of her head to deepen the kiss.

With her hands, she hastily undid the laces of the Illyrian's pants. And he released her face to slide his hands under her dress, place them on her thighs and caress them up to her hips.

She lowered his pants and Cassian helped her by lifting his hips. Luxiana lowered his leather to the middle of his thighs and the Illyrian's erection jumped to press against the blonde's crotch, making her shudder.

She stroked Cassian's chest and cursed his armor full of straps that looked like it would be hell to remove. She groaned in frustration but didn't even try before lowering her rest to Cassian's cock to grab it. She began to move her hand back and forth, which tore a raspy breath from the Illyrian, who closed his eyes and opened his mouth, enjoying the feeling of pleasure that spread through his body.

Damn, he couldn't already take it anymore. He grabbed her to switch places and pin her on her stomach, her cheek on the cold floor.

Luxiana moaned at the contrast in temperature of her skin to the ground and the arousal that made her tremble as Cassian hastily pulled her dress up over her buttocks.

He placed the bottom of her dress on her back and put his fingers right in the middle of her wet panties to rip them savagely and make a hole in them.

He positioned himself astride the blonde's thighs, grabbing his cock to position it at his soulmate's entrance.

Luxiana moaned impatiently as she moved her hips as Cassian rubbed his cock up and down her slit to lubricate it with her wetness.

From his knees, Cassian squeezed Luxiana's thighs together and then he inserted himself inside her slowly.

The blonde let out a long sigh as she felt the Illyrian's thick cock stretch her to the end. Cassian swore in a grunt as he closed his eyes. Then without waiting, he began to thrust his pelvis, slowly penetrating Luxiana at first, rolling his hips in such a way and taking his cock so deep, that she felt like she could feel it to her throat.

Luxiana slammed her hands onto the ground trying to hold on to something as she drowned in the molten lava that was pouring into her from her belly.

Cassian lay down fully on top of her, his weight on her back. "Do you like that?" he asked, giving her a rough, deep thrust.

Luxiana let out a small cry of surprise before nodding vigorously. "Yes."

He began to give even more violent and sharp blows, making the blonde jump with each blow. He caught her earlobe between his lips, sucking on it before biting it gently.

But he wanted so much more. He pulled out of her, hooked an arm under her pelvis, and lifted her so that her hips, knees, and breasts formed a triangle with the floor. He was still knelt behind her.

He slid between her legs, spreading them with his knees. He placed his hand on the small of her back, sliding his palm along the blonde's spine. "Arch your back."

Luxiana obey, perfectly revealing her open part to Cassian who groaned at the sight.

He grabbed her hips with both hands and entered her fully and deeply in one go, starting to move in and out of her as fast and deep as he could.

Luxiana could hardly breathe anymore. Her belly was on fire and electrified her entire body, hardening her nipples against the fabric of her dress and making all her skin tingle.

Cassian grabbed his soulmate's braid to wrap it around his fist, gripping it and pulling to raise Luxiana's head.

With her head raised, she moaned even louder, feeling Cassian's cock slide in, out, and deep inside her.

Cassian had his cock throbbing and his heart pounding hard to get pleasure back into his muscles and body.

He growled as he leaned over Luxiana to wrap his arms around her stomach and hold her in place as he pounded into her hard and fast.

He placed his mouth on his soulmate's ear. "Touch yourself, my treasure, make yourself come for me. Cum on my cock, fuck," he demanded in a trembling voice.

Luxiana was almost sobbing under Cassian's powerful hip thrusts that were drowning her in too much pleasure while her heart felt like it was spinning in her chest. She obeyed him without thinking. She slipped her hand under her to touch her clitoris, rubbing it impatiently under the excitement.

The more ecstasy rose within her, the more she arched her back and spread her legs, accentuating the depth of the penetration.

Cassian's cock hit the bottom hard. The pleasure Luxiana felt exploded first from her belly to spread throughout her body and contract her muscles and tightening her walls around Cassian's member as she had a powerful orgasm.

The Illyrian, feeling his cock tightened completely, gave two powerful thrusts before cumming in his soul mate while biting her neck to avoid moaning as he came inside her.

Luxiana's muscles relaxed, letting her slide completely belly down under Cassian's weight on top of her.

The Illyrian released the skin of the blonde's neck from between his teeth to catch his breath but smiled with all his might when he saw the mark of his jaws in her skin. He placed a kiss on the mark before taking his cock out from his soulmate to stand up, dragging her with him. "What an incredible fight," he sneered.

But Luxiana couldn't stand on her feet, her muscles numb. Cassian smiled proudly as he kept her upright and held her close with one hand while he straightened her dress with the other.

Luxiana nodded with a smile. "Indeed, we should fight like this more often," she muttered a little more into the gas.

Cassian groaned. "Fuck, yeah," and he placed his large, warm hand on the blonde's cheek, tilting her head up and looking at her lovingly. He gritted his teeth. He wanted to scream that he was in love with her.

[my-debauchery]

Nothing.

idol!yuta × afab!reader

idol!yuta × afab!reader

g`fluff, smut

cw`dom!yuta, sub!reader, crossdressing, kissing, spitting, facefucking, cumeating(f&m), oral(f. & m.), mommy kink, slapping, unconsciousness (all is consensual), squirting, explicit content, unprotected sex, fingering

wc`3.2k

A/N:this was somewhat inspired by "Nothing On Me" by Kai. as always, constructive criticism is more than welcome. if you see mistakes in cw tagging, please, let me know.

you were seating at the dressing table, trying to properly curl your hair for the evening ahead. getting hotter by the minute from the effort and the heat of the iron.

as you finished the last strand of hair and pinned it up to cool, you lift your eyes up and see yuta in the reflection staring at you 'can you please open the window? i want to cool down before doing my makeup' you smiled and turned to face him.

yuta silently moves towards your bed and places his bag on it. he fulfills your request and you relish in the icy air filling the room.

you thank him and turn back to the mirror. you hear yuta approaching you while you're rummaging in your makeup drawer. he places his hands on your shoulders and you look up at him once again.

he gives you a unreadable look and kneels next to you. you start turning towards him, but he stops you. so you keep looking at each other though the mirror.

'would you mind doing my makeup too?' he asks you somewhat hesitantly 'sure' you say as you continue to look through your makeup collection again 'but i hope you understand that i never did male makeup, so it might look a bit strange. also i probably won't be able to do your skin, our shades don't match' you tease him.

'you didn't understand me' you hear 'huh?' you meet his eyes full of worries 'what do you mean then?' you inquire. he gets up and brings over his bag over to you.

he opens it up and takes stuff out places them onto the table 'i ordered this and hoped you would do my makeup how you do yours. female style, you know? i even got a foundation in my shade' he shows you a bottle of it and places it back on the table 'i also got a matching dress to yours for me to wear for our date'

'you want me to do your makeup like for a woman and to wear a dress for our date?' you ask carefully. your boyfriend just nods weakly.

yuta watches you get up and quickly go to the bathroom and the dread starts to sink in. he was terrified of what he presumes is happening right now. that you going to be horrified and want to leave him. that so far things were far too good to be true. that you were too accepting, easygoing and he crossed the line.

it was one thing to have kinks and introduce som/sub dynamics into the relationship, far easier to learn and adjust to. but completely other when your boyfriend wants to dress like a woman, who would want that?

yuta was trying to come up with something, anything to calm you down and convince you to not leave him. but after hearing some noise from the bathroom, he saw you waltz back into the bedroom with giddiness and a fluffy kuromi hairband in your hands.

'do you have a specific look in mind or do you want me to freestyle it? or as we going to have matching dresses, do you want to have matching makeup looks? to go all out?' you question while looking through the products he bought.

he grabs your hand 'you don't mind?' he asks and looks inquisitively at you. you look confused and he clarifies 'about me wearing feminine makeup and woman's clothes? that i want us to go out like that together, publicly?'

you giggle and answer 'no. i don't care in what form you come, yuta. your core doesn't change, even if you're a shapeless blob. i know that i love you and you love me, what else could possibly matter? as for the publicity aspect, i only worry that someone might recognize you, but i can try to make you unrecognizable. power of makeup and all that jazz, you know? also we go out at midnight on a walk, so we should be fine' you finish and hold his face gently.

he nods 'thank you. with you i truly feel like i'm alive for the first time' you lean in and give him a chaste kiss on the lips with a wide toothy grin 'now, do you want a full fantasy of a makeup shop experience?'

yuta laughs 'no. i've had plenty of that. i want a fantasy of my girlfriend doing my makeup. preferably while sitting on my lap' he sits down and pulls in to straddle him.

you snort and ask if he has any reference pictures for his look. he shows you different gothic style makeup looks and tells you to do what you think would look best. he relaxes and circles you waist with his arms. so you get to work.

once you're done you hold up a mirror so yuta can see himself 'do you like it? i must say, i think i've outdone myself. you look like a goth baddie'you get up to put away his stuff and a thought hits you 'oh my god! i'll do my makeup like an insta baddie and we can be 2 baddies, just no porsche' you laugh and look up a reference for yourself.

suddenly yuta hugs you from the back and whispers into the nape of your neck 'i love it, thank you' you smile 'go get changed and i'll do my makeup in the meantime, okay?' he nods and walks off.

you do your makeup and let down your curls. you brush them out and spray on your favorite perfume after changing into your own dress. you go to the leaving room in search of yuta, but once you see him, you are speechless.

he is wearing a satin midnight blue slip dress with strings that can shorten it on both sides, a fluffy black cardigan and a glossy black butterfly shaped hair clip on one side 'how do i look? it's not too much, right?' he asks and you shake your head like a dummy.

'you don't look like a baddie. you look like a mommy' you say almost in a trance. yuta looks at your glazed eyes and scoffs 'misbehave and i'll punish you like one' you feel a hot rush and blur out without thinking 'yes, mommy' yuta gives you a warning look and you try to calm yourself down.

you both get your shoes and coats on and head out of the apartment. while standing in the elevator yuta holds your hand and intertwines your fingers. he squeezes it slightly 'remember to behave. you are my good girl, right?' you nod enthusiastically and he kisses your cheek.

you spend next hour just walking around enjoying pretty snowfall and each other's company. but you can't really look at anything except your lovely boyfriend, fantasizing about him taking you in the dark alleyway while calling him mommy or letting him use your mouth.

but you know good things will come to those who wait and you could wait for eternity if it meant waiting for him. you are his good girl after all.

you're nearing your apartment complex and you feel a craving for something sweet, so you pull yuta towards a convince store 'do you want me to give you a face mask?' yuta thought for a moment and shakes his head. he gives you his card 'go get yourself a treat. i'll wait here' you take it and go inside.

you book it straight for your favorite and move to the front to pay 'what a lovely pair you two are' cashier, an old woman mentions, you look up at her in alarm 'what?'

she smiles 'your sister and you. sure your sister's style is a bit unconventional, but i mean she is still beautiful' you smile and relief washes over you, and when a naughty thought pops in 'it's my mommy' you smile even wider 'mommy?' cashier glances outside at yuta again, who now is watching you.

'doesn't she look grate? she still buys me sweet treats, even though i'm all grow up now' you say and swipe yuta's card 'does she? i guess you have a great mommy, don't you?' smile again 'i do. she is the best. have a good night' you step outside and meet yuta's suspicious gaze.

'what did you talk about? you looked worried for a moment? is everything alright?' he tries to look into your eyes, but you avoid his eyes and just munch on your sweet treat 'nothing' you say nonchalantly.

at least you think you said that nonchalantly, but to yuta you look pleased and there is a mischievous twinkle in your eyes once you turn to him. he knows you lying, but he'll let you have your treat for now.

once you approach the buildings entrance, yuta asks you again 'still i'm interested, what were you talking about with the cashier? hmm' he looks up ahead and you know from his tone, that if you don't fess up you'll be in trouble.

hesitantly you tell him during your elevator ride up 'good girl' he tells you while caressing your check. foolishly you relax and happily skip to the front door of the apartment.

however, the mood shifts drastically once the door closes and it pings locked.

yuta pushes you against the mirror hanging next to the front door. your forehead is touching it's cold surface while yuta cages you from behind. one of his arms is circling you, preventing your movement, while the other is covering and lightly squeezing the lower half of your face 'did you think that you were being funny?'

he stares you down in the mirror and you shake your head 'did you think at all before opening your mouth?' he spoke in to your left ear. you shook in his grasp. you start overheating from your coat and yuta's close proximity, but an undeniable feeling of arousel starts to creep.

he turns you around gripping you face again and your shoulder 'maybe you should use your mouth for something better then risky smalltalk' he releases you and starts taking his coat off 'strip.

you move at the speed of lightning throwing clothes all around, while yuta gracefully takes off everything except the dress. you stand there naked shaking like a leaf, not from nerves but from the sheer desire for your boyfriend to have you.

'kneel.' you gently lower yourself right there and look up at him. yuta is towering over you in all his glory. you can see his dick bulging up underneath the dress and the visual makes you squeeze your thighs together.

'open up' he gently holds your chin and you stick your tongue out. he lets his spit slowly drip down into your mouth, all the while holding your gaze.

he lets go of your face and you remain in the same position. yuta lifts his dress up, revealing his fully hard dick and ties strings on one side.

you start by spreading his spit all over with your tongue and gently massaging his balls. you suck on his tip and keep massaging him. after couple sucks you start taking half of him in. going up and down his shaft, flattening your tongue on down motion and licking at top without releasing the tip from your mouth, while still massaging his balls with your hands.

yuta is grunting lowly above you. his left hand is on your head massaging your scalp 'you are doing so well. i know this is all you could think about during our walk. probably something even dirtier, like me fucking you in the back alleyway. and if i wanted to you'd let me, right? you are truly my good girl. good, but dirty and downright depraved little girl, aren't you?' you hum happily and take his dick all the way down.

your nose is pressing against his belly and you squeeze his balls harder and start humming to create a vibration' oh, shit! hold on baby' and you let go of him. you place your hands on his thighs and relax your throat even farther.

yuta grabs your head with both hands and starts fucking your mouth without holdbacks. you breath through your nose and let yourself be completely consumed by him. he goes at a brutal pace and tears foarm in your eyes. you can feel your pussy pulsating and you squeeze your thighs even harder. tears stream down and you can't see anything. you just feel.

he starts growling on top of you and somehow go even faster 'is this what you wanted, huh? for mommy to punish you? am i not giving you enough attention, so you misbehave for me to notice you? are you such a desperate little slut, hmm?'

yuta fully stops and keeps you pressed all the down and starts cuming down your throat. you feel lightheaded. fully enveloped by his smell and taste. you close your eyes and let go of his legs 'look at me. don't you remember? mommy wants you to always look in her eyes' you look at him and start shaking like a dog in heat. his eyes are full of raw desire to fully consume you.

and yuta sees the same in yours.

once he's done cumming he lets go of your head and gently ease you of himself. you lay down on your back breathing heavily. yuta squats in front of you and nudges your legs appart. he swipes his hand against your pussy and lifts it up for you to see. as he spreads his fingers appart, you can see your arousel stringing between them.

you start to turn to get on all fours but yuta stops you 'go to your place'

"your place" is a pool of soft blankets and pillows. placed next to the floor length mirrors in the leaving room he set up in his apartment for you. all because you enjoy to just look out the window at night while listening to the music. or lay around there waiting for him to come back home. all the blankets and pillows are in your favorite colors and designs, just for you.

you stretch your arms towards him to help you get up, but he shakes his head and gates up by himself 'crawl.' you don't need to be told twice and get moving. slowly crawling to the windows, acutely aware of his heavy gaze on you.

once you make it, you turn around and look at him, but he is right behind you. the sound of your heartbeat in your ears and of your labored breaths prevented you hearing his movements.

he manhandles you into a mating press and you grab the back of your things. you expect him to fuck you now, but to your horror he slowly lowers his face towards your vagaina. you knew that you are in for a wild ride now and that being naughty is not for you.

yuta speards your pussy lips apart and spits on it. you feel it pool and drip down to your anus. he blows on it and you shudder from the temperature change.

he starts to gently massage spreading mixture of your arousel and his spit all around. from your pubic mound down to your ass without touching your clit. you start to shake from the anticipation, knowing he won't be calm and gentle for long.

you hear the sound of the slap first and the sting comes after. he slapped your clit and you whined. he slapped it again and again. you just keep on whining and sniffling. after several slaps you see that you pussy is all red and puffy. yuta dives right in.

you can't focus on any one thing in particular. you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. your skin is slippery from the sweat and it's hard to hold your legs pressed to your chest. and most overwhelming is yuta's devouring of your sipping heat.

he looks almost mad. his freshly dyed hair a mess. face all red and glistening with your release. and a stare of a rabied dog that is feeding for the first time in forever. he is looking straight at your and amid all the pleasure you feel almost shy.

but then he plunges three fingers in your fluttering hole and you forget all about it. while his tongue is lapping at your clit at an inhumane speed, his fingers play with your g-spot agonizingly slow. as you started to seize up yuta started to jab his fingers at it and suck on your clit with fool force.

the familiar pressure starts to build and then white, hot flush takes over you as you squirt into yuta's mouth.

your grip on your legs slips. yuta grabs your legs and pushes. you completely lose it and just shake from cumming and overstimulation, because yuta didn't let up and continued lapping up your juices and sucking on your pussy.

you come around and feel yuta's head still stuck between your thighs. both of you on your sides with you facing the window, looking over the night cityscape.

another orgasm hits you and you moan long and loud. you can feel just how soar you are. yuta turns you onto your back and kneels between your outstretched legs.

you can see your juices dripping down his chin, neck and onto his chest. his makeup completely ruined with mascara runs like in classic rom-com and lipstick gone. he is fully naked and hard. you manage to whisper out 'dress?'

'it got all sticky so I took it off. how do you feel?' he questioned as he lifted you up to a sitting position 'soar and empty' you can see that he cumed all over the blanket 'won't mommy feel me up?' you croacked out and batted your lashes.

yuta chuckles and nodes 'of course ,my good kitten deserves it. after all you did so well' he wipes hair away from your face and kisses your forehead.

he lays down and pulls you on top of him. first you kneel to straddle him, but he pulls you flush against him while keeping your legs in a kneeling position.

yuta carefully enters you, keeping in mind your soar body. once you're down to a hilt you both sigh in relief. he plants his feet on the floor and gently starts rocking into you.

he is slow and deliberate with his strokes. pleasure comes in waves, like you're laying on the shore with warm waves washing over your body again and again.

you both circle each with your arms 'you're my lovely puppy, aren't you? you always do so well for me. even if you're naughty you take your punishment like a champ. my little cutie. you are ready for me to fill you up?' you nod into his chest and let go of your own release.

you feel his warm seed fill you and all consuming bliss takes over your entire being. it spreads from your stomach all over like a liquid sunshine.

while basking in your afterglow you ask yuta 'can you keep your dress on next time?' he thinks for a moment 'can't make any promises'

'why not?' he turns you by you chin to face him, his eyes are full of devotion 'i want nothing on me but you'

[wingzie]

Home - Mi Casa

On 20th December, my flat flooded. This was due to a fault in the flat above, which caused water from their boiler to vastly flow into my flat. This happened for about six hours until someone came to fix the problem. The only way I can describe it is like watching a waterfall of warm water cascade across my entire flat. It will probably come to no surprise that, after the event was over, my flat was deemed unlivable due to the water damage. I have since also had to throw out most of my furniture and belongings. After having a somewhat stressful Christmas at my Mother’s, I came back knowing that I was effectively homeless and I have been living at a hotel for over a month now. My current stay is until the end of March, but I have been warned that the work in my flat might take up to June to complete. Which is somewhat poetic, if it will take that long. All of this has got me thinking about one thing though: What classes as a home? I have mentioned before how, due to my parents work, my childhood involved moving location every couple of years. I thought this was “the norm” and just went along with it. Even when my parents divorced. When my Mother wanted to move closer to her own family, she asked if I wanted to move to somewhere near her. Or stay closer to work. I chose the later option and found a lovely place to rent near work. Where I had just been promoted at the time. Things were going well and I wanted to use this opprtunity to start my own life.

Lockdown happened shortly afterwards, so I missed a big chunk of getting to know the area and the local people. However, I made up for it later on with community work and have since made some amazing friends. These include army and non army and this is where I consider myself very lucky. Though I am still having nightmares and my mental health isn’t the greatest right now, the kindness of people around me since the flood has been incredible. 

I have several colleagues who fight over who will do my washing or bring me meals. Some friends have invited me to their houses. The belongings which survived are scattered around different houses in storage. People often check in on me. And I try to do what I can in return to thank them. It’s a big part of what makes a community a community. And thus what makes the community a secure part of a home. It keeps things going even if one falls down or needs support.

In terms of BTS, we have seen Yoongi be afraid of moving in the past. Jungkook mentioned the members being back together in BV4. How the members congregated together during ITS or at hotels whilst on tour. No matter where they go or no matter how long apart, they make it work or lift each other up. The same goes for their group chat too or hearing each other's voices on the phone. As long as they are together, they are able to keep going as a team. And in part of that, I am also very grateful that Jimin and Jungkook have each other right now. 

Not being in your physical home throws you completely off balance, but knowing you have that connection with others and the love around it goes a long way. And that is what makes a home. Note: I know this is very different than what I normally post, but I have had this in my drafts for a while and decided I might aswel share it. Talking about how traumatic the last month has been is somewhat helpful to and I would like to thank everyone who has reached out, offered helped or been so understanding about my lack of post schedule. Much Love, Becca xx

[distant--shadow]

It had been quite the amount of time since Imogen last had sand in her shoes.

She isn’t given much time to dwell on it; Ms Laudna coming into clarity as Imogen approaches, hunched forward with her arm further than elbow-deep in one of the rockpools.

“I see you took the opportunity for a swim.” She states matter-of-factly, inspecting a pebble in her hand before placing it on the same swatch of cloth that had lent itself for the oyster spread.

“A-yeah, sorry about that - kinda happened without thinkin’.” Probably a bit too candid, and it gets a momentarily raised brow from the woman sat at the rockpool, before her attention returns to the miscellaneous selection of stones by her side.

“I am sure it did you good, and your wound? How is that looking?”

“Oh, fine, thank you. I was in there long enough it’s already stitchin’ together again.”

“Your intuition served you well then.”

Imogen can only assume that the compliment weighs so much because she regards the Lady as so worldly - and not only because of her age.

Maybe it’s because she doesn’t know, hasn’t taken that look behind the curtain for herself; rendering the woman and her behaviour even more mystifying and esoteric, the leading suggestions behind her statements as well as the knowledge eagerly shared.

Regardless of the rumours.

The selection of rocks and oyster shells on the embroidered cloth, now dirtied with splotches of wet sand and a curl of seaweed like a stray hair. 

“What’re you collectin’?” Imogen hopes that it’s a feasible and polite-enough question.

“Whatever interests me – it’s quite a renowned stretch of coast, you know.”

Imogen wants to ask how closely related these stories are to the lake’s, but she isn’t sure if that would break her own personally-set parameters.

“Yeah? What for?”

“Here- look at this…”

Ms Laudna retrieves one of the pebbles from her side; a larger and more flat one in comparison to the rest of the bunch. She sits back; resting on the palm of one of her hands, the other holding the stone aloft for Imogen to inspect, expectant and notably casual - as she had been at the base of the statue in her garden.

Imogen steps to meet her, taking the stone into her own hands and bringing it to eye-level.

At first it looks as though its surface is imprinted with the weave of a wicker basket, but as Imogen tilts the rock in the sunlight she sees that these impressions are actually in relief, swelling outwards, dividing and complex

Like roots

like veins

Like the gnarled scars that cover her hands from fingertip to mid-palm

(and climbing-)

She wants to touch the surface with her bare fingers, wonders if she can excuse herself for a trip down to the ocean once again.

Imogen is sure that the Lady has not seen her hands, and yet the timing, the curation

Perhaps she is thinking too much from her own perspective. It is not the view she has had to grow accustomed to.

“Oh, it has a pattern an’ a texture.”

“Isn’t it beautiful? I admit I had to get my notebook out to remember the name of this one.”

She thinks it’s beautiful.

“It has a name?”

“Yes dear, it’s a fossil. A Pentacrinites crinoid.”

Imogen doesn’t call the Lady out on her incorrect addressing, allows the word to soothe a scar she carries that is much older than the fresh cut on her fingertip.

“I’m not even gonna try t’say that.”

“They’re often called sea lilies - but they’re actually related to starfish - not a plant.”

“Is the sea filled with alotta animals that look like other things?”

lilies, glace cherries, stars, jellies, monsters constructed of hornwort and cats’ eyes and seashell and fishbone teeth

Ms Laudna giggles agreeingly 

“Until we grow gills or construct a ship that can be airtight when it dives, I suppose we have to use our imaginations – or look at what washes up on the shores.”

Imogen can easily recall that gurgle, the leathery petrified cadaver that followed.

“Like a horse corpse?”

“Is this one of the lake’s stories?”

“Well, there are seahorses-”

“Excuse me?!”

A saddled horse with dorsal fins instead of a mane, opalescent scales, a tail like a mermaid-

“About as literal as you can picture them compared to everything else you have seen-” a reality a little crushing, though swiftly soothed by Ms Laudna’s head throwing back with the weight behind her laugh, birds scattering in flight and cawing in the distance - yet Imogen doesn’t feel patronised; though maybe she has endeared herself to her and it is a fine line, and one of Ms Laudna’s hands cradles her stomach as if pained by the exertion, her other resting on Imogen's forearm, gentle, intimate

dear

dear

A squawk calls from close by that is distinctly different to the caw of the gulls, and this gives both Imogen and her Lady pause, her hand removing contact from Imogen’s arm as she turns to the black-feathered bird that skips along the knobbly rocks and around the pools of water to walk towards her.

A crow, funnily enough.

Fittingly bizarre; outfitted in all black for a summer’s day on the beach.

It tilts its head and taps its beak on the weathered porous rock, Ms Laudna watching it closely before she takes a deep breath, throwing over the last uneaten oyster from its shell and at the crow’s feet.

“I suppose we better head back; Sorcha is a growing girl and I will not allow for her to miss a meal.”

Imogen nods, eyes darting between the Lady’s and the crow, as it tilts its own head back, forcing unchewed flesh down its throat.

“I would like for you to keep the fossil, if you would take it.”

Ms Laudna moves to stand, and Imogen hurries to offer her her free hand, to be in her grasp again.

“But you found it-”

“I did, so see it as a keepsake, if you will - should your cut not form a scar.”

[orthodoxchristianity]

Heartbreak: the art of letting go

This one is a bit personal for me, but I thought to share since I know many other people may be feeling the same way. Please read and share any advice or experience you may have, it would be greatly appreciated. God-bless!

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Heartbreak. It isn't easy. It's even harder being stuck in between two thoughts. Firstly obsessing over what could have been, thinking should I have said this, or should I have said that. Why did I not do this or why did I not tell him that? It's hard to let go of the expectations in your mind or the plans you made that you wanted to share, all the little daily updates you sent waiting to hear back from him. But secondly, as a Christian, my understanding that God does what is best for us stays in my mind. The knowledge that God takes care of us even when we do not understand it. For He knows and sees far more than we will ever understand, and that is okay. Having trust in His timing and His plan for us is vital. I pray every day "God please remove anyone or anything that is not meant to be in my life", and then why do I get sad when God answers this prayer? Maybe I thought I knew him but clearly he was not meant to be in my life anymore, no matter how sad it may be now.

Taking it day by day is needed because in some moments I feel okay, but in other moments I remember how he looked and me and the lovely moments we shared. I know that one day I will look back on all the moments I shared with him and be at peace. I know that love is never wasted. But one thing is to know and another is to actually enact it. It seems to be like a separation between my head and my heart. My head acting rational and reminding myself to not let the enemy tell me lies, whereas my heart still holding onto the hope of what could have been.

I keep thinking why wasn't he the one Lord? Why couldn't he have been the one for me?

I know that it was done for a reason, that the Lord has bigger and better things in store for me. Perhaps this is simply a lesson. My time with him is brief in the grand scheme of life and of all the people and things I am yet to experience. But it is still hard to let go, even though I know it's the end, that's it.

Perhaps I wasn't ready or he wasn't, but either way it seems the timing was not right. As I pray every day, "All in God's timing".

I know that when the right person comes it will be in God's timing and it will be bring me peace, rather than anxiety. I understand that I probably am still holding onto him because of the inherent fear of being single. Seeing so many of my friends get into relationships easily and of course I am beyond happy for them but it is hard to not think oh when will the love of my life come? I guess this brings me back to the concept of patience and trusting in the Lord for His plans and timing is far better than mine. I feel like this society really pushes for moving and doing everything fast, whereas the Bible tells us:

"Love is patient, love is kind...Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV)

I harbour no anger or hatred towards him, for given the circumstances I can understand where he was coming from. I do, however, pray that he heals from anything that is holding him back. I pray for him to let go off anything from the past that is keeping him stuck emotionally. I pray he finds love and happiness.

I don't know if anyone else can relate to the feeling of 'intellectualising' my emotions. I try to solve them rather than feel. I have been trying to slow down and just let myself feel rather than simply keeping myself busy and giving myself no time to heal. I know there is a reason he came into my life, God is teaching me through this experience, so I need to slow down and feel my emotions.

If you are still reading thank you. I know heartbreak is a part of human life, it is something we all go through in various shapes or forms throughout our life. I hope this makes me stronger and I hope that you find peace and love and happiness. Whoever is reading, I hope you heal from any hurt and that the Lord blesses you abundantly in everything you do.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV

[ingravinoveritas]

Love seeing this clip show up on my TL again, and especially love seeing this comment on it...

[gingermintpepper]

In your story does Apollo willingly leave or is there some other circumstance? In addition, does he know the consequences of his departure? Your story sounds very interesting !! Also, I got some new character designs that I’d be happy to hear your opinion on !!

YOUR DESIGNS HAND EM OVER AAAAA I will absolutely nyoom over to obsess over your babies after this - I still have those notes on Aphrodite, Ares and Hermes to give too!!

As for Apollo - he is extremely, intensely aware of his roles and responsibilities which is why anyone who knows him also knows that he'd never abandon his station. Even when he leaves for Hyperborea to rest, he is extremely punctual about returning. That said, the circumstances under which he disappeared... he was not himself after Hyacinth's death and he certainly wasn't in his right mind either. The jury is very split on whether something happened to him and now he's lost or needs a rescue (which would be difficult considering no one can find him anywhere) or if he's pulling a Demeter and decided to damn the world in his grief. Since no one's seen him in years and there's that whole 'end of the world' thing going on more people currently believe the latter than the former.

There are a few alternate theories as to what happened to him as well - that he went searching for - or even found - death like he had begged Zeus for, or that his grief metamorphised him into a tree or animal of some sort and that if they could find whatever he's turned into, they could use that to help restore the divine order. The point is, everyone is looking for him but not many people actually want to find him for fear of learning the truth behind his absence.

[joyridingmp3]

had a weird first time ever experience tonight. my mum pulled me in for a huge, super tight hug and told me "everything's gonna be okay"

[dark-twist-fairytales]

staring at some old posts like 'i have regrets'.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

truly 2 trans 2 furious is also extremely like [billionsposting as people never meant to be here yet having the symposium while not necessarily having a good time but we can also analyze &/or simply play around with it in other ways with an easy ability to deconstruct things enough for that & perhaps have a good time, perhaps have something way more complicated than that but which could also be called having a good time] like including in its having the "there's a nonbinary f&f character" entry in there at all through kompensoing & monitoring billions since & drawing funny little guys about it (winston, e.g., and taylor) and then also that like, Any & Every Entry in 2 trans 2 furious is of that genre of crucial tour de force visionary symposium understander posts that get 2 notes. and then compiling that is like yes of course this wins an award, a surprise but also not really at all.