#thank you for asking abt them delta :)

[aliensmoothie]

ill be real i know jack shit about skyrim and i forgot. your skyrim ocs name . but canyou tell me about them

HERE THEY ARE the one on the left is Yol-Miin/Jack shes my dragonborn oc and the one of the right is Ruarc hes the ghost in Jack's head and also my eso character . i had some old discord messages that i spruced up ( some stuff has changed a little since i wrote them originally LMAO ) for you below the cut :) this is mainly like their backstory stuff as it's relevant to skyrim but there is a little more ( like the eso stuff ) . its just complicated to explain and ALSO im afraid of sounding cringe . but its ok because the skyrim stuff is like the important part LOL

so she was raised for basically her entire life in windhelm . whenever she ended up there ( as like a very young baby probably ) an old dunmer man ( Malran ) took her in ( also was the one who found him maybe ? ) and to the best of his ability taught her how to survive in windhelm . generally through the route of stealth which he was really talented in but he was very cagey about his past so jack doesnt know like . why . he was also married to a redguard woman ( Shinir ) , who was only in town every now and then , cause she worked as a caravan guard , but taught Yol-miin varying skills she learned out on the road . generally though , Yol-miin was Really talented at being able to read about something and then just . teach himself how to do it . So when he got older he ended up using that skill doing any odd job that needed doing in town ( from chopping firewood to fixing swords to whatever really . the jobs usually came from the dunmer in town and occasionally the dock workers but i know she also helped around the hall of the dead alot ) . Malran ended up getting arrested ( undecided on the reason . there might not have been one ) when she was like 18 , and he disappeared from the prison without a trace . There was like No clues or anything even for Jack , so he was assumed dead . After that he ends up staying at the argonian assemblage at the docks for about a year before realizing that there's really no purpose in staying in windhelm anymore when she feels like she doesnt really belong . So ( mainly because of Shinir's visits i think ) she decides she's going out to start adventuring . Then she goes to helgen , and the whole Skyrim Thing happens .

Ruarc is a little more um . complicated . to explain . he was , when he was alive , a necromantic experiment by a group of daedra ( maybe sheogorath or namira ? i havent decided at all . sheo would be fun though ) cultists living out in valenwood a long long time ago ( like eras before skyrim maybe . it was a while ago ) . the cultists' intent was to summon a demon into a piece of primordial ooze pulled off a dead changeling as a powerful vessel for . whatever demon they were summoning . but instead the demon and whatever like Living Potential was in the ooze fused together and made Ruarc . The cultists weren't awful to Ruarc , but they were trying Very hard to figure out how to get basically the same experiment to go correctly while using him as a catalyst . Eventually , they tried it again and it backfired WAY HARDER and set the whole surrounding area on fire , killing Ruarc and all the cultists . Then , a long time later , he ends up as a ghost living in baby Jack's head . he doesn't remember his life before at all , so he just kind of convinces himself that he's an imaginary friend , and hangs out in Yol-miin's head . He definitely also influences Jack's array of skills with the scraps of Past Life Knowledge that he has .

[fatuismooches]

HEHE HAIHAI SMOOCHES ITS ME ANON WHO CANT STOP THINKING ABT FAILURE AND DELTA SEGMENTS SINCE U ASKED SO NICELY U SHALL RECIEVE MORE BRAINROTS thud time a cute little imagine? scenario? (i have no idea hut we roll) with failure segment

Since this segment doesn’t acknowledge anyone other than fragile!reader (and prime i think) i imagine that when the agents are assigned with tasks related to this segment, they feel immense reluctance.. but worry not! fragile!reader to the rescue!

Imagine one of the times where reader is sat on his table, trapped between his arms as he stares at them (this is a regular occurrence atp), an unlucky fatui agent assigned to retrieve something from this segments’ office comes in and asks for said thing, they get ignored as usual, so fragile! reader, being the kind and gentle soul they are take it upon themselves to help them, since theyre the only person this segment would willingly listen to without facing any difficulties.

So the reader repeats the agents’ question but less nervously and in a more softer tone, they stroke his cheeks with their thumbs as he gets lost in the soft glint in their eyes, and almost as if hypnotised, he nods along to the sound of their lovely voice and in a voice so low he answers the reader, then points to the direction of said object the agent was assigned to get. The agent takes it and walks off (almost darts out tbh), and reader just kisses the segment as thank you, i imagine he keeps his half lidded eyes open whenever fragile!reader presses their lips against his, but just for a couple of seconds, i like to think he mainly does this to memorize the feeling of the moment, how soft their lips feel, the way you look so content kissing him, the feeling of your hands on his cheeks (how they’re no longer as cold as he remembers them to be when you were in a comatose state), the feeling of yearning and love in his chest, etc.

And only then does he closes his eyes shut to enjoy the moment even more.

And then when you try to pull away, he doesn’t let you. He lightly places a hand under your chin and a hand on the back of your neck and pulls you back for a peck, a peck turns into two, then he goes in for thirds and fourths and its like he can’t get enough of the sweet taste of your lips (honestly none of the segments nor Dottore himself can get enough). I know it was stated that this segment doesnt initiate physical affection since he’s content with watching you go about your day from afar, but i like to imagine that although occasionally, he sometimes reciprocates double the affection you give him, its like he’s lost control of his own movements and moves in a trance. And then reader can’t take anymore because of how flustered and breathless they feel and immediately bury their face in the crook of his neck, with their arms wrapped tight around him as he sigh in contentment.

Their face burns even more when he absentmindedly murmurs in that voice of his about the feel of their lips as if he was documenting checkup results so close to their ear.

hehe this was fun to write but i did not beta read at sll :3c can i be 🐙 anon pretty pleasr C:

(x) Although being asked to speak to any of the segments is a challenging task for the average person, Zeta is a special case. Each segment is unique in their own way, perhaps loud and crazy, or calm yet intimidating, but at least they can communicate with their underlings. Zeta, on the other hand, has very little contact with the regular Fatuis, only capable of working in solitude considering his state of mind. Most agents are forced to return empty-handed and instead fetch another segment to help. He's not seen very often either - it's either Prime's office, his office, the hallways to and from, and maybe his room. So Zeta certainly isn't a segment one would want to deal with, especially since his ticks and likes are vastly unknown to the general Fatui... (the handbook is severely lacking in this area...)

But despite the air around Zeta, you weren't scared off in the slightest, and of course, found yourself snuggling with him in due time. His general demeanor was far different from the other segments but that wasn't an issue, you found it endearing but also quite sad at how gently he treated you as if you were glass that was just about to break... you wanted to try and show him how you were still stronger than that! (Despite your frail health.)

You didn't expect helping him with his job to be part of spending time with him, but you're not mad. Rather, you find it a bit cute how he's willing to listen and indulge your wishes. (The handbook definitely has a rule like - [Name] 100% has magic powers. Definitely an angel bestowed upon us.) Meanwhile, Zeta has no issue with this, in fact, he finds it reminiscent of all the times you used to ask favors from him, when you used to rely on him for anything and everything. So now that finally you're awake, alive, smiling, he wants you to rely on him again. (Though he does find it a bit annoying how nice you are to these agents, he'd prefer to help you with your own requests...)

You can never really predict when Zeta will have one of those days when he needs to kiss you all over, and although it catches you off guard you will never not reciprocate. You know how long he's had to watch you be motionless, and you need to make up for that time. It's also kind of funny because while all the other segments fluster you on purpose, Zeta doesn't realize it sometimes.

[paingoes]

Rubies

Communication

authors note: kitty uses the word ‘nonverbal’ here in a way that isnt really medically accurate. thats kind of a whole discussion im not gonna get into now but tl;dr delta has selective mutism and autism but he isnt “nonverbal” per se.

(Content: living weapon whumpee, discussion of past captivity, past abuse, discussion of war, (internalized) abuse apologism, dehumanization, emotional whump)

================

katkittykat: hiiiiii :3c

nodiving: hey

He glanced over the top of his laptop screen, across the room where Kitty was curled up on the armchair. She flashed her teeth at him when she smiled. Her nails clicked against the keys when she typed.

katkittykat: this is so smart lowk idk why i didnt think of it sooner

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: i’ve seriously been drafting forum arguments in my head this entire time

nodiving: all of them probably think they won just cause i termed

nodiving: would it be weird if i just pick them back up like nothing happened

katkittykat: ya u might have to let those go tbh

nodiving: :/

It was very hard to type with the cast on. It took him much longer to write than it normally would. Luckily, she didn’t interrupt until she heard the typing stop.

katkittykat: so like whats the deal w u

katkittykat: are u not talking cause ur scared to?

nodiving: no

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: its not that im scared necessarily its just that its very very unnatural for me 

nodiving: it still feels rude and overfamiliar to me even if i know you dont see it that way

nodiving: this is a lot easier thank you

katkittykat: you dont have to talk if it’s uncomfortable !!!

katkittykat: its cool if ur nonverbal we can just keep texting like dis

nodiving: i think i do want to though

nodiving: its just hard

nodiving: please dont like…stop talking to me

nodiving: im trying

katkittykat: u will have to deal w us talking to u FUREVER !!!! >:3c

nodiving: <3

katkittykat: aaaaaaaah <33333

He hesitated a long time before typing the next message.

nodiving: do you think i should have stayed

katkittykat: what???? D:

nodiving: on a purely strategic level it seems like this was not the most optimal outcome

katkittykat: urghhhh 

katkittykat: well on a ~purely strategic level~ im not the best person to ask tbh

katkittykat: like im ngl galatea was NOT prepared for sudden reunification and thats why levon is so pissed at us X)

katkittykat: but it would have been hard no matter what and if the war had gone on we wouldve had to fight along 2 different fronts which is also noooooot good

katkittykat: and if we had to do that. we would have had to fight you! which would have been v v v not good  X(

katkittykat: so idk if there was really a better outcome? and even if there was like

katkittykat: its not ur problem

katkittykat: ur not just a chess piece to be moved around

nodiving: i kind of am though

nodiving: theres obviously been a huge fallout because of this and it feels wrong to write all of it off just because of. my rights or whatever.

nodiving: i feel like i kind of jumped the gun leaving when i did

katkittykat: aw jeez :(

katkittykat: i was curious abt that tbh i assumed there was some final straw for u but i didnt wanna pry obvs

katkittykat: seems like it was bad ?

nodiving: i dont know 

nodiving: i was more scared by the escalation it represented than anything that actually happened so i feel like i may have overreacted a little bit

nodiving: its hard to explain

katkittykat: ur ok! u can talk abt it when ur ready

katkittykat: but fwiw i really doubt you overreacted

nodiving: thank you

katkittykat: if anythin u seem to be kinda? downplaying it????

nodiving: it really wasnt that bad

nodiving: i could have gone longer

katkittykat: idk delta it kinda seems that bad

katkittykat: i think u got used to it

katkittykat: but that doesnt mean it wasnt bad

He gave her a nervous glance from across the room, his hands stilling on the keyboard. He reluctantly began to type again.

nodiving: did you say i didnt have to talk about it

katkittykat: yes!!!! mb

katkittykat: do u wanna play league omg we actually have time now

nodiving: yessssss

===========

nodiving: hi

sunspot: Hi Delta!!!! :)

sunspot: How are you !!!!

nodiving: im ok

nodiving: im sorry i was such a dick to you before 

nodiving: i was looking at the old messages again i feel really bad

sunspot: No you’re totally good! We were being really pushy i get why you were upset

sunspot: We were just worried for you honestly even when we didnt know you that well

sunspot: It was scary when you would just disappear for weeks at a time like that

sunspot: We just wanted to make sure you were safe

sunspot: Still do!

nodiving: thank you 

nodiving: i was scared too

nodiving: can i ask you something

sunspot: Yes please!!!! Yes I thought youd never ask!!!!

nodiving: is levon going to kill me

sunspot: Oh no

sunspot: He explicitly promised me not to

sunspot: Delta please do not tell me you have been worrying about that this entire time

nodiving: it stood out as a distinct possibility 

sunspot: Didnt he promise he wouldnt hurt you?

nodiving: yes

nodiving: you understand why i may be a bit hesitant to take him at his word

sunspot: Yes I guess thats our bad 

sunspot: But i really don’t think he wants that for you

sunspot: Do you think he’d wait for you to heal just to kill you at the end?

nodiving: not sure

sunspot: That was rhetorical! The answer was no.

nodiving: then what

sunspot: a good question

sunspot: I wish I had an answer for you and I really cant apologize enough for putting you in this situation but I'm afraid it could get very messy for a little while

nodiving: messy how

sunspot: In the broadest possible terms

sunspot: They dont really know what to do with you

sunspot: So that is something we are all going to have to figure that out together

=============

LEVON: Kitty.

LEVON: How are you, my sweet?

KITTY: omg hiiiiiii

KITTY: im rlly good actually things r rlly good!

LEVON: Any progress?

KITTY: ya i think so :)

KITTY: hes opening up a little hes still like. v v shy in person? but not as scared i dont think 

KITTY: hes very polite

LEVON: Poor thing.

LEVON: Does he have sensory issues? I hear that’s a big thing with psychics.

KITTY: ummm yeah hes v twitchy. i think he gets his signals crossed a lot but idk if hes aware of it? he just gets all hackle-y at literally nothing sometimes

LEVON: Interesting.

KITTY: how are things back there

LEVON: Well, it’s a shitshow. You’ll find out soon.

KITTY: eek

KITTY: um can i tell u smth

LEVON: Of course.

KITTY: i dont think hes ready yet 

LEVON: You have the rest of the month.

KITTY: no even then i just dont think hes gonna be ready

KITTY: he needs more time

LEVON: I feel like I’ve been more than generous in letting you keep an unsupervised superweapon(!) in your house for two months without disturbance 

LEVON: I’m not saying I’m going to put him through the ringer or anything but he does need to come back to base.

LEVON: You’re coming with him, so I don’t see what the issue is.

KITTY: will we b able to see him then :?

LEVON: Sure.

KITTY: can he room w me :3c

LEVON: Nope.

KITTY: why D:

LEVON: Security reasons. 

KITTY: levon :(

LEVON: This isn’t coming from me.

KITTY: but ur the boss!!!!

LEVON: Yes, but this isn’t an absolute monarchy. I’m still obligated to follow protocol and I’m obligated to listen to other members of the council.

LEVON: Who I should add, are a LOT less okay with this than I am. 

KITTY: ok i get all that but listen like

KITTY: i dont think u understand how fragile he is rn

LEVON: I think you may actually be underestimating him.

KITTY: uh wat do u mean by that

LEVON: He’s held his own within Empire for nineteen years. That’s not for the weak. He can handle a little strain.

KITTY: lol is that what u call it

KITTY: a little strain?

LEVON: Relatively speaking, yes. I’ll do what I can to make it painless for him. Personally, I think he’s innocent.

KITTY: he IS innocent

LEVON: Can you prove it?

KITTY: ITS SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!!

LEVON: That file you sent me. You made it, didn’t you? You’ve seen what’s on there? The casualty count?

KITTY: but thats not his fault!

LEVON: And I agree with you. But that’s what we’re going to have to establish. 

KITTY: but i dont want him to :(((

LEVON: What you want is not necessarily the basis upon which the courts operate.

==========

katkittykat: doing ok????

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: in my room

katkittykat: what do u do in there

nodiving: kinda just been sleeping a lot

nodiving: im really tired all the time i dont know why

nodiving: i didnt use to be

katkittykat: ur sleep debt is probably insaneeeeeee that why

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: im sorry that im like this btw

katkittykat: u dont need to apologize for resting bby theres nothing 2 b sorry for

nodiving: not just that i mean everything

nodiving: i know im not normal 

katkittykat: u rlly rllllly dont need to worry abt that around us i promise we r all freak bitches

katkittykat: i like talking to u tho and i think its ok if u dont realylly feel “normal” right now u dont need to b

katkittykat: u can just b urself and if u dont know who that is rn thats fine too becuz u have the rest of ur life to figure it out

katkittykat: i will still want to hang out w you anyway <3

It took a long time for him to respond. She thought he may have fallen asleep again.

nodiving: why are you being so nice to me

Her turn to hesitate. That was more of an Apollo question — he could explain it ad nauseam. She didn’t know what answer she could possibly give him, if he even really wanted one. 

There was so little she knew about Delta. Each glimpse she got of what his life had been like painted a worse picture of it. They always said he’s been through a lot when anyone asked; it was a convenient euphemism for a whole array of issues. He tried so hard to play his cards close it to his chest. It felt like a betrayal then, the way the signs slipped through. 

nodiving: you dont have to be

She frowned as she slowly tapped at the keyboard.

katkittykat: i wanna be tho

katkittykat: cause i like u

katkittykat: <3

Another moment of silence. She braced herself. There was no way she could try and unpack all of that herself. She hoped she would not have to. She would do it wrong.

nodiving: <3

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[a-thousand-lives-lost-for-peace]

hii i saw you reblog that post abt like queer subtext in re and i am curious to hear abt the queer subtext u see w jill :>

hiiii, thank you for the ask !!

There's several things that I'll be discussing within my own personal view regarding this, and I'm super excited to get into it.

To start off with, I want to talk about a little bit of the inspiration behind Jill's character and how that also plays a factor into the queer subtext that I personally see - if I remember correctly, Ellen Ripley from Alien was a big inspiration for her character - which is where her tank top comes from, and also the namesake of Coffee Shop Sigourney in RE3. This inspiration is further reinforced by the fact that several scenes mimick the Xenomorph, Ripley's nemesis, within RE3 as well , such as when Nemesis kills Tyrell. It is almost uncanny how similar it looks to the way the Xenomorph kills some, and already having that conflict between Nemesis and Jill mimicking Ripley and Xenomorph is a big thing.

The impact of Ripley mostly surrounds the fact that Ripley was originally written to be played by any gender, and she was very strongly lesbian coded within the first film, and I believe there had been an intended romance angle between Lambert and Ellen.

Now , in regards to Jill specifically, she is inherently portrayed as more masculine, which in itself is a big factor when it comes to queercoding. She is someone who defies gender stereotypes and is also someone who made some great feats that were more populated by males within the time period, especially when it came to the fact that she was one of the only women within Delta Force before she was recruited to S.T.A.R.S. Both Ellen and Jill are similar in this regard, both of them heavily defy stereotypes and the typical casting of women or feminine-coded characters, being strong in their own right. Jill's strong, isn't afraid to get her hands dirty and has a mouth like a sailor's, as well as being fully capable of handling any situation on her own without inherently needing help, which is awesome to see when a lot of women in horror media tend to be the "damsel in distress."

Another big flag for her queercoding in my mind is her apartment itself, which I'm sure all of us know about. The posters on her wall are all of scantily-clad women, which in itself is an indicator that she definitely is queer in some way, further reinforced by her own clothing choices and manner of acting.

Jill has also never responded to male advancements or shown interest in male characters - she shuts down Carlos' attempts at flirting early on, even if she did warm up to it later. I also see her friendship with Chris Redfield personally as strictly platonic, as I haven't personally seen any kind of romantic interest between either of them - I think they rather see each other as brother and sister. Though however, when it comes to someone like Claire , Jill very obviously shows interest, especially shown in Death Island - where she's almost constantly looking at Claire, Claire gives her the coffee she was preparing for herself, and they're often pretty close together.

I will admit however I also see her being on the aro-ace spectrum along with her leaning towards others who are feminine-presenting , as I think Jill wouldn't be as focused on romance inherently, but wouldn't be opposed to it in certain situations. It just isn't something she seeks out.

Back onto the post as a whole, @highball66 mentioned in his post about Chris having leather outfits that are queer-coded in itself, and Jill has something similar with her Retribution outfit in Resident Evil: Resistance. For me, that was another big factor into considering the queer-coding of Jill, as those sort of outfits are mostly within the queer community.

[birdantlers]

Okay so #1 for the ask meme, what inspired you to write the bnha fic the way you did with all the Greek tragedy and mythological themes??

To be honest? It was a combination of a couple things. I do know that it came first with the Odyssey and the Greek tragedy of "man goes on a long seafaring voyage while having to leave his child behind." I've already long-since associated space with an ocean since that was also a theme in Delta (defunct original story idea of mine), and this was just one step above it.

I also was planning to have Greek names for the missions/ships too since many actual NASA operations have names from Greek mythos and I didn't just want to reuse the Interstellar names. There are other story beats that fit well with mythology as well, along with other characters, settings, and objects.

That being said, some of it is utterly pointless aside from going "oooh look this thing looks like this other thing" lol. Like the poster Izuku sees in chapter 6 taking inspiration from the Apollo 11 patch even though there is literally zero way to infer that and it holds little plot relevance other than hinting that eagle symbolism is going to be a Thing in this story.

For example, this paragraph in the new prologue I just posted refers to observatories, but it also refers to the ceremony of torch lighting from ancient Greece.

A lot of the Greco-Roman stuff is mainly aesthetic symbolism, but I also really want to believe that in Interstellar itself, their destination being Saturn was symbolic as well as aesthetic.

In Roman mythology, Saturn was the god of agriculture, but he was also the god of time. In fact Saturn's counterpart in the Greek pantheon is Chronos.

Like I said, it may be a coincidence, but Christmas Nolan is also a freak about details so who knows. Agriculture and time are pretty relevant topics lol. Anyway this was another thing that made me think about coming at it from a mythology level. It just kind of grew from there

This isn't even getting into constellations ohh my god

This isn't even all of them lmao

Thanks for asking! I love talking abt this stuff

[dogboytits]

3 (but more overall what inspires you to make ocs) and 11 for the oc asks ^-^

3. What inspires you to make ocs?

HMMM this one is kinda interesting bc its kinda hard for me to place where a lot of my ideas come form? maybe kinda weird to say but i think most of my ocs tend to make themselves, in terms of personality and stuff like that. certain things just feel right for them..? i just go with the Vibes. That being said, i do also take a lot of inspiration from songs- Basil and Arkady's original story came entirely from a song, though its changed so much since then its really not the same anymore lawl. I'm also pretty inspired by pre existing characters!! like, other peoples ocs for looks, or characters from media i like for dynamics and personality

11. Which character has been through the most design changes?

Molly!!

She used to look a lot like Delta bc i didnt know how to draw in 2016/2017 LOL. But obvi as i got better i didnt like her design anymore since she looked so similar to Delta, but i had such a difficult time getting a design that i liked, and that fit my idea of her. I didnt draw her often but every time i did it looked completely different, until i settled on her current design in June :D Her name also used to be Fraiçica lol.. but i hated it so i changed it after a lot of going back and forth

Thank u so much for sending the ask !!! i love talking abt my funny little guys <3

[andsotheuniverseended]

8, 17, and 19 for the D&D ask meme

you didn't specify which of my characters so you're getting the 3 that have been on my mind for all three questions namase (also thank u so much T^T i love talking abt my dnd characters)

8. what are three songs that suit them?

Cephas: I Will Never Die by Delta Rae, Good Life by onerepublic, and Everybody Learns From Disaster by Dashboard Confessional

Wyn: The Fear by The Score, Small Town by John Mellencamp, and Heavy Cross by Gossip

Scalia: Lowlife by That Poppy, Graveyard Whistling by Nothing But Thieves, and The Next Round by Frank Turner

17. what do they dream about, when their dreams are their own?

Cephas: is a stone construct! and therefore doesn't actually sleep, just goes into... like. their consciousness just shuts off and they are just a construct that follows order for four hours, and then they 'wake up' and are a person again. they don't remember or experience that time as anything at all, and it's never theirs

Wyn: sheep! farming. home. a lot of simple things, because she's a very simple woman. her worse dreams tend towards failure to protect people, failure to protect the world, and accidentally ending the world herself. or on purpose. her dreams also get hijacked by her deity on occasion, but that's more Visions than dreams

Scalia: her twin sister; occasionally happy but more often just kind of.... disconcerting. like looking at yourself in a funhouse mirror. nightmares about that one time she accidentally killed her best friend. craving dreams (she's been clean and sober for a couple months and dang it is not easy). the ones she likes best are when she's just a spectator. the dream has its own weird plot that dreams have, and she can just watch.

19. what haunts them? what doesn't?

Cephas: is a witch! which is a homebrew class that involves binding spirits to yourself. so what haunts them? their magic powers! and also the literal ghosts they have following them around! as for what doesn't, well, everything that by all rights probably should. Cephas has done a lot of work over their very long life to avoid being haunted by their past. take responsibility, but don't let yourself get so weighed down by guilt that you can't move forward, and all that

Wyn: y'know a couple members of her party just found out that while Wyn was gone, she actually got sent to an alternate dimension where things were more peaceful and lived a full life there, and only returned to this world on her death bed. so she's very much haunted by aches and pains and scars that are no longer there in this younger body, a bad hip that isn't going to be bad for another 30 years, that kind of thing. and, of course, the people she knew in that world that she will probably never meet in this one; and the fact that even if she did, they wouldn't be the same person. she also is currently carrying around the idea that she is responsible for a huge planar war that might end the world, and also she's had to think about the kind of sacrifices she might have to make in order to protect it, and is weighed down by the things she knows she would do if she had to. what doesn't haunt her? past mistakes and regrets, and the passage of time. she lived a whole other life, and now she's technically an old woman. some things just don't matter the way she used to think they did

Scalia: listen. my edgy necromancer. her sister, now dead, her best friend that she accidentally killed, currently living. the woman who taught her necromancy and is, apparently, a fugitive Wanted Dead, the fact that Scalia doesn't want her dead despite the fact that she probably should, the idea of confronting her past. actually, just about every moment of her childhood up until meeting her best friend, and then a few moments after that. what doesn't haunt her is, well, herself. she knows exactly who she is, she knows all her flaws and could list them off, she knows that her closest relationship is also her most unhealthy one. all of these don't haunt her because they're just facts. she's accepted it. death haunts her, but life doesn't. y'know?

[yeocult]

Hii~ ursa minor, corvus, orion, gemini, betelgeuse, deneb, spica, proxima centauri, mimosa, star cluster, moon, comet, delta iv heavy, heavy falcon, soyuz, RCS, RD-270, raptor? (so sorry it's a lot of questions 😅)

*cracks knuckles* it’s time to get ready to overshare !! thank you for sending so much in!! it was fun hehe

ursa minor: do you have hobbies or interests that no one knows about?

hmm sports, writing, and editing? i enjoy watching sports matches and being nerdy about analyzing the players and game lol, mostly basketball and volleyball! i hate playing sports though lol. writing and editing are just for fun! (irl ppl don’t know much so i guess it’s a secret). i’d like to pursue editing to something more serious though!

corvus: what are 5 things you appreciate about yourself?

1. neatness and i’m organized! / 2. i only surround myself with good people, if there’s something off about a person i immediately cut them off (idk if this is me running away from everything bad or that i respect myself lol) / 3. how easily inspired i am / 4. chill? (is that the right word?) sometimes i just can’t bring myself to care that much abt certain things lol / 5. fashion sense i think

orion: what element would you like to be able to bend?

i convinced myself i was a waterbender when i was younger lmao but i’d like to bend fire! no reasons, i just think it’s cool hehe

gemini: which character (fictional or not) is your spirit animal?

shizuku from whisper of the heart and ursula from kiki’s delivery service...they are just so comforting!! having a lil studio in the forest is such a dream!

betelgeuse: which video games gives you nostalgia for a place you have never been to?

ah i don’t play any video games :-(

deneb: you can turn one book into a movie,tv show or video game. which one are you picking?

omg this is a hard one! i’ll probably think about this more but rn i’m completely stuck >///<

spica: when do you consider a movie “good”?

no plotholes, it’s consistent, and not so cliche. the texture, not bland, and good writing is important too. soundtrack that evokes emotions is kinda important to me as well. not so much necessary but i like it when a movie has an open ending! i look forward to the cinematography a lot too :D but honestly, everything needs to work well together, the writers, actors, and production team.

proxima centauri: if you would have the chance to travel the world, which places or countries would you like to see?

ooooh i want to visit china, germany, dublin, singapore, hanoi, japan, s.korea, and new york! so many places >///<

mimosa: what do you associate with your favourite colour?

beige - comfort, coffee, home, silence, sundays, fresh sheets, and cookie dough :DD

star cluster: what is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year?

gained - interest in filmography, writing, and editing / lost - activeness ?? lmao ever since quarantine I've gotten so lazy / let go of - a close friend of 5 years

moon: “A man is made of memories. It is all we are.“ (Lawrence) what do you think this means? Do you agree?

kind of! how we act and behave was all from our childhood—memories. it shapes us how we are today. we think a lot, we experience a lot, so it think this is what the quote means...? hopefully i don’t sound stupid lol

comet: you have the chance to undo one thing or decision in your life, would you take it? If you are comfortable sharing: what did you change?

yes! i would taken more opportunity and put myself out there more often even if i’ll get hurt—i think it’s a learning experience that i’ll never get back

delta iv heavy: what is your favourite thing about your degree course?

ah i’m not there yet (i’m assuming this is for uni/college). but, i’d like to study fashion design or something in the art department hehe

heavy falcon: what is a subject you are highly interested in but you would never study yourself?

english, biochem, interior design, history, ohmygod i have a lot. but the thing with me is that i’m very interested in anything, i’m curious, but i’ll never commit to anything that isn’t art because i’m simply just not passionate enough. there’s a difference with being interested/curious and passionate for me...? (not to mention i suck at anything else lol)

soyuz: language(s) you would like to learn?

chinese!! i’ve actually started learning 2 years ago but never continued with it because it’s just too hard !!! >:( i also can’t even speak my mother tongue fluently so i need to get that first before learning another one. the tones...are soooo !!! difficult !!!!! i’ve also learned french for 7 years but i sound embarrassing sigh

RCS: how do you stay focused and productive?

sigh...i’m the worst student ever. i just kinda guilt trip myself into studying like “you’re a burden if you don’t do good on xyz” or like just slap myself and get it over with yk? it’s not the best lmaoooooo

RD-270: Do you need silence to study? or do you like to listen to music? if so, what is your go-to study-playlist?

rarely, i like to listen to music 99% of the time. it’s either a random khh/krnb playlist with new songs i’ve never listened to, lofi, or piano music! sometimes i’ll listen to my own playlists but it’s distracting with songs i know lol

Raptor: do you study at home or do you prefer to study at the library/in cafés?

sigh, i hate studying outside. maybe that’ll change for me in the future. i’ve tried studying in the library and i got nothing good done. i’ve also never went to a cafe to study. although i do love the vibes, it’s usually too loud for me. i like being in the comfort of my own room :))

send me a space asks!

[spirit-shroud]

Fanfix ask: I N K Q V Z

hewwo! ♥ from this ask

I: How many fandoms have you written in?  Do you have a favorite? technically, i’ve written fanfic for d gay man, h*mestuck, toontown, w*zard101, world of wardumb, undered tale, deltaed runes, hyperlifter, bard game, moonlighter, oneshot, dust: AET, Portal, no.6, and more recently, pokemon. i only have ut/os/swsh up on my ao3 tho because most other stuff is Very Old or just generally incomplete/not the general vibe of the fandom lol

undert*le was fun to write for just because of how rapidly my hits/kudos/comments went up but tbh i really only wrote for it because of the attention my fics got even tho they werent like.... remotely good. half of that is  looking back on my past work and cringing just bc it’s my past work but like. idk. im really hoping that writing swsh stuff will be a similar high but it’s something i feel a lot better taking my time and putting actual effort into my writing for 

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share? oh always, heres some upcoming chapters of legendsfor the ones im actively working on/have been adding to lately: Tangled in Glimwood - the usual two end up dangerously lost in the glimwood tangle and have to set up camp for the night, armed with like, half a steel move and a trusty cast iron frying pan between them to make sure they’re safe from all the rude ass fairies. includes fun friendly banter such as ‘hop i swear to god you CANNOT eat the glowing mushrooms they are DEFINITELY SUPER POISONOUS’ and ‘this is why nobody in your family has any taste buds left’ and ‘do you think phantumps remember being alive? do they have any of their memories? if we both became phantumps, do you think we’d recognize each other and keep being friends? is that weird to think about?”  Hopscotch - hop has always been there for reader, so when his spirit gets crushed by bede, you step in and offer emotional support and it’s mushy as all hell. this fic entirely is being written bc i’m pissed there’s no option to hug hop during the game. i cant summarize it either its just ‘hop feels bad so you do something about it like a good friend instead of a Silent Protagonist Bastard Fool’ 

Striped Pajamas - a semi-sequel-but-not-really? a sequel if you squint? to sea vents where marnie, hop, and reader hang out again and have a sleep over and like. play video games together and it’s NICE they have FUN and my girl SMILES FOR REAL BC ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES 

Homecoming - reader + leon have been together for awhile and he’s bringing them home to meet his mom+little bro. it’s mostly uneventful and even awkward, as i’d imagine that kind of thing would be, so reader spends most of their time hanging out w this neglected nine year old child who really wants to show them his craftmine builds and amaze his future sibling-in-law with his intensive knowledge of Weird Science Facts

Pink and Blue - y’kno who’s nice? piers. optimal bro material. a lot of exhausted gay energy in this dude. this one is like. post-championship cup reader + hop just adopt this poor washed up man since they’re sad kids seeking guidance and he’s a sadder adult with too much time on his hands now that he isn’t a gym leader. sort of like, a ‘mentor who’s life is falling apart needs a new son’ sort of trope bc that’s pretty optimal. 

this got kinda lengthy but i do have more bc i have WIP Disease ™

K:  Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)? idk how to actually define ‘guilty pleasure’ tbh. like. i like what i like and that’s all there is to it. x reader fanfic is a circus and i’m the ringmaster, bitch

Q: Do you like getting prompts from your readers? yes!! always!! i need to update my writing request page on my blog n maybe people will like. send me some dkfjhsgkjdhfg

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you? its not a specific comment but ive been thinkin like. daily abt that guy who lovingly commented on 15/17 of my und*rtale fic collection despite it being very clearly abandoned for years. like. i still need to come up w a new chapter to thank em but i just dont have any un*ertale juice in my system rn 

Z: Is there a story you’ve written that doesn’t seem to get much love? not really tbh, like, i think out of the 5 fics i have on ao3 rn (fragmented, speechless, bad dialogue, my burden is light, day to day legends) they all have the expected amount of hits/kudos per their audiences. id really like some comments on ch1 of d2dl before i got ch2 posted but it doesn’t really bother me too much that there isnt any yet. its 1 chapter and it’s been only a week lol 

i also wish mbil had more comments but also the one hot fandom isn’t very large, the x reader one hot community is even smaller, and i havent updated that in like. a year dkfgjdhfg

[yellowsugarwords]

hi ! regarding the clem/luke/nick reunion, a fic would be great but either that or a simple hc is fine :) ++ may i add two other details? upon meeting aj, he asks more abt his parents and they begin telling him tales and giving him more details abt them. a more minor one ( which is actually an hc of mine ) is either nick or luke having a beard at the point which louis and/or mitch come/s to adore lmao. thank u for taking this into consideration + for providing this fandom w ur beautiful writing!

Okay!! I’ll write it here :)

Clementine thought they were from Delta.

They had been prepping for their arrival for weeks, and knew they were on the brink of an attack.

Two adults approaching the school were the last thing they all wanted to see.

“Strangers!” Willy said, leaping off of his platform to meet the rest of the school.

“Stay back!” Violet said. Louis, at her side, aimed a bow and arrow.

Clementine squinted, trying to get a better look.

They raised their hands in surrender.

“We’re not here to cause trouble,” a voice said.

Clementine recognized it.

Two men approached the locked gates.

One had a thick beard, a heavy sweater, and a gun on his back.

The other had shaggy clothes, a dirty hat, and a backpack.

She knew more than their voice.

“I know them,”

Their eyes widened as she stepped forward.

They noted her hat.

“Clem?”

Clementine smiled, her teary eyes welling as her cheeks pushed them forward. “Luke,”

Violet seemed confused by the reunion, but Louis was the one who abandoned his weapon to unlock the gate.

Violet was tempted to stop him.

Seeing Clem’s happy tears, she didn’t.

The moment the gates swung open, Clementine was in his arms.

His beard tickled her head.

“Nick!” She said, hesitantly peeling away from Luke to reach out and get a hug from him.

He hugged her tightly.

Her soul was tugged back together.

Clementine, after they were inside the yard, realized she hadn’t asked the Ericson crew if they minded.

Already, Violet was introducing herself.

Wily was standing with Mitch, waving at Nick from afar.

Louis stood gawking a few paces away.

All Clem could do was smile.

They didn’t mind at all. She didn’t even need to ask.

Luke started for Clementine, smiling in awe that he had found her again, when he spotted a child behind her legs.

His eyes widened. “Wow, another little guy!” Luke knelt down, smiling at him. “What’s your name?”

AJ smiled warmly as Clementine patted his back. “AJ.”

Luke’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping. He stood, meeting Clementine’s stare.

Teary-eyed, she smiled.

“You’re still with him,” Luke gawked. “He made it.”

Clementine nodded, blinking back tears.

Luke wrapped her in a hug again.

“Nick!” Luke called. “It’s AJ!”

Jaw-dropped, Nick darted over from where he and Mitch were talking to see the child.

Violet scrunched her nose and brows. “How do you know AJ?”

Luke gawked, kneeling and holding a hand out for the child to shake. “We knew you when you were just a baby.”

“That’s when we got separated.” Nick said, crouching behind Luke. “We got separated when we were cornered by a violent family.”

“They split us up,” Luke hummed, smiling at AJ one last time before standing. “That was the last time we saw either of them.”

They talked consistently until dinner approached.

The school invited them to stay.

Luke frowned. “We can’t take your food.”

“Clementine helped us come into a lot of it.” Louis said. “There’s more than enough.”

Luke smirked, patting Clem’s back. “That’s our girl.”

Luke and Nick sat across the table from Louis and Mitch.

Mitch stared at them silently as he ate.

Louis gawked with his jaw open.

They’d never seen a beard like that before.

AJ sat beside Nick at dinner.

“What was I like as a baby?”

“Quiet,” Nick responded. “It was really fucking weird.”

“Nick!” Luke scoffed.

Nick lifted his hands in defense. “What! Baby’s aren’t normally that silent.”

Mitch smirked.

He thought Nick was cool.

After dinner, Luke and Clem turned to AJ.

“Let’s go on a walk,” Clem said. AJ happily agreed.

“I’m coming too!” Louis claimed.

He joined their group without asking for permission, smiling at Luke as he joined them.

Mitch and Nick, arms crossed, watching them leave.

“Wanna practice blowing some stuff up?”

Nick turned to him, eyebrow raised. “Uhm, of fucking course I do.”

Violet rolled her eyes as they left.

When Luke, Clem, AJ, and Louis came back, AJ was on Luke’s shoulders.

“I wanna be able to grow one, you know.” Louis said.

Luke laughed. “This took a lot of negligence for it to get like this.”

Louis scoffed. “Negligence is my middle name.”

Clem dipping in, raising an eyebrow.

Louis rolled his eyes. “You know I do nothing around here.”

Clementine smirked and turned away.

Nick and Mitch came jogging back, laughing.

“That was amazing!” Mitch chuckled. “I never thought to do that before!”

“That’s how you get the best explosion range,” Nick said with a smirk. “Blowing shit up was my jam as a kid.”

Violet shook her head.

Clementine beamed.

Clementine turned back to face the rest of the school.

Louis was lifting AJ so he could feel Luke’s beard.

Louis turned, gawking at Clem in glee, before turning back.

At least she didn’t need to worry about them fitting in.

[cyberneticlagomorph]

Wonderland & Underland

ok it’s been a long while since I've done one of these so forgive me if I’m a bit rusty. But that’s all unimportant.

Let’s get this started shall we?

EDIT: THIS POSTED ENDED UP 5 MILES LONG SOMEHOW I’M SO SORRY…

Some background:

Wonderland is a country on Fairyland, a planet in another solar system in another dimension accessible by most any manner of portal. 

Fairyland is a pretty silly name for it, its original name is Alfheim and it has been home to the majority of fae kind for millennia

Fairyland/Alfheim was founded by the First Fae, the literal first faeries ever born.

The First Fae were descended from literal stars, void, stone and raw wild magic floating around out  in space

They found Fairyland when it was just a barren planetoid with no star to orbit and terraformed it with magic, afterwards they stole some other planets to form a solar system, made their own star and boom called it home

Fairyland was eventually overrun by True Royals, the offspring of Elder Gods and Fae. 

It was rough and sent a lot of First Fae into hiding, before they could be hunted down and murdered 

Jack, Alice, and the Red Queen are all related. Alice is Jack’s grandmother on his mom’s side and the Red Queen is Jack’s great-grandmother on his father’s side (it’s complicated, time fuckery happened at one point)

if u have questions abt fairyland (or anything else for that matter) please ask, not a lot abt it will be covered in this post for time’s sake tbh?

ok so, the history of wonderland:

wonderland was “founded” (read: stolen from the First Fae) by an Elder God by the name of the Lifeblood

The lifeblood is the goddess of carnal desires (lust/love/sex), blood, (re)birth, hearts, fertility, and chaos

she founded wonderland but immediately gave it up to her 4 true royal children as a gift

Dusk (eldest, Queen of Spades), Clover (second eldest, prince of clubs), Shard (third oldest, prince of diamonds), and Diamour (Youngest, Queen of hearts)

All but the queen of spades previously held the title prince(ss)

Each had their particular peculiar “collection”

Hearts collected cores (the metaphysical “heart” of one’s soul where emotions are kept), dyed her clothing in the blood of her enemies, made a show of her brutality by beheading people in public 

Clubs was almost gentle, loved pets of all kinds (even sapient ones) and had a vast menagerie, he fed those that displeased him to his creatures 

Diamonds was a creature of greed and excess, everything he owned was gilded and golden, if it was expensive and strange he wanted it but quickly grew bored with his new playthings, he had the bodies of his enemies dipped in molten gold while they were still living and kept them as statues in his gardens

Spades... Spades was vitriol and death wrapped in calm smiles and offerings of tea. Cool and calculating, she studied combat, war, the arts, medicine and necromancy alongside her "womanly duties". She took a husband young and let him think he ran the show, she killed him a dozen times over until there was nothing left but screeching essence

wonderland was prosperous for awhile until Princess Diamour learned just how small a fourth was and decided that she wanted the whole country and killed her siblings one by one

Presumably she was under the control of the Wyrm Tyrant, an ancient Dracolich that wanted/still wants to take over the world and isn’t above commiting and number of atrocities to do it (it’s “dead” now, more accurately it’s a disembodied consciousness under heavy guard locked away in Hel but it still has reach and influence but that’s another post in itself)

After disposing of her siblings, Diamour crowned herself Queen and reshaped the country in her image and anyone who dared oppose her was beheaded in public as an example

Everyone else in the country was subject to Diamour’s Charm, an ability found in most True Royals to manipulate the emotions of their victims, after all it’s hard to commit regicide if you love your Queen so much you’d die for her

Overuse of Charm can cause withdrawal symptoms, or even brain damage

Wonderland was widely considered place of "madness" which could both be attributed to Queen Diamour overusing her Charm and the flagrant shows of decadence and sexuality that might have startled any human visitors

The Bloody Queen of Hearts was eventually usurped by a young Witch named Alice and a band of freedom fighters

The country was ravaged by war, and then ravaged by the Lifeblood who turned it into a wasteland after Diamour was presumed dead

Diamour was not dead, just locked away with other Royals in a complex prison-lock to protect the Looking Glass

The Looking Glass was a relic, an item made from the body parts of an elder god or true royal, that could peer through time and space and thus gave Diamour (and previously Dusk) a huge military advantage over her neighbors. As if having a monopoly on agriculture wasn't enough.

The present-ish:

Jack eventually opened the prison lock, killing the trapped royals and destroying the Looking Glass (there was a whole event about it awhile back that I need to go find and like… tag or something)

Diamour escaped and hid herself inside his body, gathering her strength and biding her time, eventually turning his heart into a soulstone crystal and enchanting it to be her phylactery

She later made herself a body using his blood (this was also a Big Thing that i actually DID tag, you can read it HERE)

After getting her ass handed to her by Jack several times she slunk away to some unknown region and really hasn’t been seen until recently

Since opening the prison-lock jack has been carefully rebuilding wonderland from the ground up and ruling it as Prince Regent 

Diamour, now “affectionately” nicknamed Queenie, has built her own kingdom in the abandoned catacombs and buried First Fae castles far below wonderland

Ok now that i have you all up to speed, lemme get down to the real nitty-gritty

Wonderland NOW:

Obligatory Pinterest board so you can understand the aesthetic better

Now that it’s under jack’s control it’s a lot softer than it used to be

Surrounded by a giant living wall made of magical metal and thorns  

Populated almost solely by test subjects jack saved from delta facility, some Andrids and a few other people that decided that they wanted to live there

More technologically advanced than it was in the past, earthly cars have been converted to run on liquid magic instead of gas, there are condensers that suck ambient magic out of the air and turn it into a more usable liquid form

The architecture is more or less the same it was when Diamour ruled, very one with nature, hard to spot from the air unless you know what you’re looking for. 

Houses built into trees/mushrooms or underground as burrows

Lots and lots of plants, GIANT plants, thanks to the volcanic ash and old magic in the soil even the most mundane plants get MASSIVE if planted in wonderland

Oh yeah wonderland sits on top of a mostly dormant-ish volcano, there are hotsprings scattered all over the place and the beaches have black sand but it hasn’t erupted in millennia so it’s fine… probably

The crater left over from the last time the volcano erupted is now an inland sea of considerable size that provides seafood and salt to the rest of wonderland

Has the potential to be an agricultural powerhouse if jack can ever get the hang of food production on such a massive scale

There’s a railway but it’s in serious need of repair and renovation

Jack promotes the worship of the Lifeblood since she IS a fertility goddess and doesn’t really ask much besides a few (animal) sacrifices in her name

Wonderland’s main exports are: tea, flowers, tobacco products, hemp, mushrooms, sea food, sea salt, silk, wool, honey, milk, fruits, vegetables, and a few exclusive things like jubjub bird eggs, tulgey wood, tulgey seed oil, and raw magical energy

Underland:

Obligatory Pinterest board so you can understand the aesthetic better

Created by diamour after she realized that it’d be way too much trouble to fight jack for control of wonderland

Effectively “wonderland 2” as far as Diamour is concerned

Located below wonderland the abandoned catacombs, caverns, lava tubes and buried First Fae castles literally under the land

Diamour no longer uses her Charm to help her rule, and has stopped brutally murdering people that disagree with her (for now)

It is unknown if she has turned over a new leaf or if she's just biding her time

Surrounded by old mines and mineshafts that allow eerily complete access to much of the surface, allowing Diamour and her followers to bounce around wonderland totally unseen

Populated by any number of folks descended from the original wonderlandians, succubi/incubi, goblins,vampires, and just anyone who’s looking for a good time

A giant, near-constant bacchanal (her mom is the goddess of carnal desires after all)

A lot of their tech is goblin in nature, specifically earthborn goblins that know how to keep up with things. That is to say, kingdom-wide Wifi babes.

Architecture is a little showy, most structures are carved from the surrounding stone and accented with metals and gems of varying worth. Sure paint is cheaper but the gems and metal shine in whatever light is present and make a bigger statement 

A lot of buildings are built into stalagmites or stalactites, the ones that aren't are cobbled together from loose stones, built into the mineshafts, or hang from the cave roof on chains to safe floor-space

Any plants down here are either some sort of fungus/moss/mold, or are magically modified to grow underground which is difficult and time consuming 

It’s all very whimsical, lots of plants and fungi have biolume and are often used as living streetlights 

In terms of weather, the cave system allows enough condensation for fog and occasionally rain but not much else. It’s cold, wet and dark.

Worship of the Lifeblood is alive and well, with orgies and sacrifices being held in her name on an almost daily basis

The first wonderland was thought mad for its shows of sexuality and decadence but underland makes that look like an absolute joke

There are feasts, orgies, literal fountains of booze, parades, drugs and other parties at varying levels of debauchery being held every day

Despite all of this, underland is very dependent on trade and tourism

Underland’s main exports are: alcohol, spider silk, elysium (a potent, highly addictive faeire drug, sometimes called “the saffron of narcotics”), precious metals and gems 

[paingoes]

incredibly whumpy conversation w shavit of @floral-comet-whump

ft. walenty of thales, boundary pushing w/ delta, imperial sadism >:)

not quite RP, just discussing au ideas

(content: dehumanization, cutting, living weapon whumpee, mention of minor whump (child emperor walenty))

shavit: fun fact if walenty ever interacted with destroyer era delta they would treat him like a piece of machinery alia: oh im sure he’d respond to it probably how would that play out shavit: hmmm walenty is a character whose interactions HIGHLY depend on prior rank and story positions so just figuring out what they're doing in the thorn needs consideration ...getting back to the walenty encountering delta thought, they'd be like. “Oh, that's how it looks.” if he's alone they'd tell him to go back to his room cause who leaves nukes wandering alia: i feel like their impression would be pretty much unchanged though, delta does pretty much nothing to challenge anyone’s perception of him as an object shavit: yeah their interaction means nothing walenty is one of many that treats delta like how most treat him and moves on that's all alia: that makes sense for their position though!!! shavit: yep!!!! would you say delta is squeamish by the sight or smell of blood itself alia: probably not deltas broken bones before he doesnt enjoy it but hes not squeamish shavit: so mostly he doesn't care about their sleeves being stained with blood ok 😞 (they don't bother to roll their sleeves up since it gets splattered somewhere else anyway)

[...]

shavit: walenty would do pretty bad stuff if they were in paris's position too I think in a setting like destroyer they'd lowkey be a sadist but be secretive about it as for uhhhh walenty in paris' position bjdbidbidj

1. also not ready in the slightest 2. attempt to fuck it we balling. are very calm with the stress of it but take special care to maintain delta because if they'd been a prince (no gender neutral word, so masculine term it is!) they'd know he was sentient 3. probably ask to cut delta up like once. if he consents: yay get cut up with comments abt having pretty blood, quiet admissions they know he's not a machine, and little vents about everything being a lot, and not being sure what to do about it. rambling about plans basically. he gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after and it's all very delicate if he does not consent: gets reminded that walenty does own him, and while they want to be considerate and not make life horrible for him, they can. I assume that's the most he struggles. he gets cut up anyway with the same softly spoken compliments about looking serene like this, and how walenty always knew him being an object was a lie. becoming an emperor is all quite overwhelming, they're pretty sure everyone wants them dead. still gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after! 4. would recognize that fighting against nezu for power is a losing battle within a month. go over to him and admit they aren't ready to rule, especially not through a war

shavit: I love my coward alia: wow walenty totally abandons delta here 😭 shavit: hear that walenty? ur gonna live!!! who the fuck is delta they're not dead remember when paris talked about being surrounded by snakes in early destroyer? here is one alia: jesus i love your coward shavit: thank u 8< (walenty face) alia: 8< walenty face delta would not consent to being cut up btw and i like the gentle threat thats so delicious

[...]

shavit: imagine a huge custody battle once your old owner gets assassinated only to get handed over to this teenager with autism in their eyes alia: autism 4 autism shavit: oh also they abandon you within a month cause they can't take the stress alia: how old is walenty here u think shavit: hmmm young younger than delta alia: wait how tall are they shavit: oooo this is a fun one hold on let me get it in CANON 151 cm/4'11, 161 cm/5'3 with heels (platforms) HOWEVER this is caused by a multitude of stuff, not just shit genetics some things that made walenty this short: 1. being homeless from 5-9 2. overusing magic from 6-14 (stunts growth) 3. shit genetics they'd probably be taller in destroyer verse since they're not starving and wouldn't overdo training as much or rapidly trying to function as much but still they're naturally short, I think the most they'd ever get is around 165 cm/5'4 how tall are delta and paris :3 alia: deltas 5’7 paris is like 5’10 (but 6’0 in the slay boots) thats why iwas asking cause delta is both older and taller hehe

[...]

shavit: still can't believe walenty threw delta to NEZU because they didn't wanna do this anymore what does he do? delta that is cause they'd come in to say goodbye the night before, but not make it explicit they are unless he engages in conversation I definitely think walenty would've made a habit of visiting delta on irregular days but typically twice a week at night to pamper him

alia: assuming he does not know about castle damon at this point he just goes into it like normal. at which point i assume he is either threatened with it and told he has to be PERFECT in order to avoid it. or he isnt given any warning and it just happens 😔 pamper ?? shavit: searched define pamper it's less pamper and more just be gentle and affectionate with him while quietly ranting and maybe torture him highly depends it's a mood thing alia: oh man WHY torture how…. old habits i guess????

shavit: morbid curiosity assuming they would've been at a military academy like paris, they developed schadenfreude which later grows into very closeted sadism they find people fascinating. the way they grow and react to things, and the things they keep. delta who has been stripped of his personhood interests them on a psychologically scientific level, which expresses itself in them wanting to see him in pain they wanna push him to the extreme, until he's hardly ∆-107(I love pulling the government name out sorry) and more just a [insert whatever his species is called] that's been CHANGED, but still has some of his old self left probably fantasized about it, but would never actually go through with it because what they want is screams and damage you can't hide, which would then reveal their secret alia: yeah wow he would not like that very much i think how else do you think that sadism expresses itself are they less sadistic in their own canon shavit: they're not sadistic in their canon the schadenfreude was a brief phase in the period they were transitioning from being tortured in front of captives to doing the questioning and seeing THEM be tortured it was a righteous sort of feeling? but also not? a very "it's finally not me" but it passed because they got exposure to it from a young age and it was internally normalized to them they don't like inflicting harm because it's just a means for an end now it comes about in destroyer verse because the way they experienced it was gratifying but forbidden, so it never lost its novelty alia: so in this au they probably didn’t experience much of the torture on themselves? wdym by gratifying but forbidden shavit: considering The Emperor and military academy doing corporal punishment, they probably did experience the torture, albeit far far far less and by gratifying but forbidden I mean that they'd feel empowered by having so much control over someone and find the physical violence of it aesthetically pleasing shavit: but be very very aware that what they're doing is torturing someone and reprimand themselves for it alia: but still do it shavit: yeah they're more ashamed of enjoying it than the act itself alia: yeahhhhh deltas fucking scared of them shavit: 😔 alia: i think anything w that kind of sadism scares him like hes a machine what do you get out of torturing a machine… shavit: what's he like when they brush and braid his hair alia: probably still sits still for it but he’s incredibly tense and probably waiting for it to hurt again :( shavit: I think they'd either sit behind him on the floor or take him to their own room to sit on the carpet alia: whyyyy. why the pampering shavit: don't you wanna know telekinesis boy (they like it better in their own room and don't have to carry products over) actually destroyer delta probably has his own hair products… the smell!!! I think they would take one of those boxcutters and draw little spiderweb patterns on his arms and back stars snd flowers too mayhaps spirals and circles alia: yes he hates it omg he’s super unused to being cut you may have to like. fight him on this.

shavit: hmmm beyond the soft threat and verbal reminder of his place walenty wouldn't go through eith it they're too afraid he'd thrash ajd have to get it treated and now they need to explain this to simon and martino coward alia: ya i think he’d probably thrash involuntarily he’s well trained but he’s not. THAT well trained i think it could work but he’d have to like. see it and be warned and be walked through it so arm is okay but not back because he’ll panic if he cant see he’d still ask why though and if its a punishment or not shavit: eeeeeee the part abt him asking if it's a punishment is the good shit alia: he’d be more willing to endure it if it was but if its just sadism or for fun. yeah hes scared. shavit: if he thrashes once they catch him and hold him in place then continue. twice they get paranoid and just clean up his wounds and get to idk being nice they wouldn't walk him through it they're too insecure about this to explain stuff out loud would respect arm but not back actually!! aaaand as for the question ahem shem “No, I’m just curious.” he learns it's because of sadism midway through getting doodled on alia: how does he learn 0.0 is there a tell shavit: oh they tell them alia: WHAT DO THEY SAY shavit: "I always wanted to do this" typa shit alia: delta does not enjoy this shavit: explanation of being punished and occasionally knowing of others being punished. how that changed them. how that changes everyone. pain comes and goes (I had to sorry) but it always lingers. it changes people, delta included and that's amazing that's the core of life, isn't it? adaptation. pain. survival. evolution. alia: he…thinks theyre insane shavit: 8< oh also they're probably giggly/chuckle-y in their monologue!! I think prince walenty would actually treat delta pretty well aside from the uh. torture they keep him the same "just a machine" as the emperor did alia: the pampering thing is still kinda getting me like why bother that would confuse him a lot i think delta is just v confused w walenty in general i think what a weird kid shavit: if he asks they would just say that they're lonely that simple (it goes beyond mere loneliness, it also has to do with having something to stim with and that happens to be delta's hair since it's long and silky) alia: LOL paris does that too i feel like a lot of the times hes just running his hands through deltas hair without even realizing hes doing it shavit: and that's without mentioning that they're more than just lonely, this is both seeking out companionship and stress relief. a desire for friendship alia: aw :( sorry i asked this already i think but i forgot already. does walenty not have friends their own age or. at all shavit: in canon verse they basically don't in destroyer verse they're left behind in the military academy and also walenty is the goodie two shoes teacher's pet and supposed heir to the throne when they're still actively studying I don't think their friends would be people they actually connect with they'd probably have online friends though but never speak of their actual life there

[...]

shavit: living for the differences and sameities between canin paris and walenty in his position btw

they both have something deeply wrong with them for one paris fights tooth and nail for his throne. walenty gives up on it mainly of their own voilition paris is older and taller than delta while walenty is younger and shorter they're both casual with him behind closed doors walenty doesn't take him outside closed doors at all while paris is performative delta thinks both paris and walenty are insane/fucked up paris was a notorious troublemaker in school while walenty was a teacher's pet and goodie two shoes many would believe is a people pleaser they're both deeply paranoid people they both have very little genuine close friends (paris has one, walenty has zero) paris is hated by his staff. walenty isn't beloved since they're still distant, but they're not disliked. a "good, quiet kid" through and through they both would've rather not been royalty wouldn't beg to save his life VS has begged to save their life both are calculated in how they physically abuse delta, but paris is outwardly "loud and violent" while walenty's malice is much quieter + a genuine insecurity of theirs like playing with delta's hair :) both are incredibly selfish and self centered who think about their own plights before any others'

[krshush]

Ok you know I wanna ask everything but! Rhysan - 1, 7, 24, 26 Merit - 3, 16, 18, 24

Ahh, asks for both boys, nice move there, and thank ya~

Rhysan

(01) Is your OC in love? If so, with whom, and for how long? 

yes!!! He’s basically married to Delta’s boy Cameliar, they’re v in love, and basically the embodiment of a small sunshine of a person and tall grump of a person couple. I say basically married, because they do get married at some point, but we don’t have an Official™ date of when that happens in GW2 itself, but if not already married, they’ve at least been together for maybe the better part of a year for GW2′s timeline. 

(07) How successful is your OC at flirting with others? 

Rhysan is... fairly so? He flirted a bit more in his happier, earlier days, and succeeded more then too, but he is handsome, and has his dry wit and a good smile to back him up, the latter of which he’s relearning with Cam’s presence at his side. 

(24) How does your OC determine that they’re attracted to someone? 

Mmmmnnn, he doesn’t determine it so much as it always hits him like a brick to the face. He picks up on his own cues that he’s into someone as his way to realize he is, subtle smiles for them only, flirting thinly disguised as jokes, letting them closer even by mistake... Yeah. 

He’s never outright looking for attraction to anyone, so it’s a surprise to him each time, and what he does with the realization depends Greatly on who it is and in what context (he had been in love before meeting Cam and he followed that and her to a Bad sort of End, after that he’d had a few idle flings before where it was clear that’s all it’d be and that was fine, and of course there was Cam, who he was very... careful about. As careful as he could be when Cam is a v big gay flirt who fell for Rhysan v quickly)

(26) Is your OC ever the first to say “I love you”? 

Not really? Not those exact words, not even in his first relationship, he’s more of an Action kind of guy, or the “I love you” is found between the lines of his talking. Once pushed out his shell though, he’ll say it, or essentially say it in calling his loved one (Cam) “love” or “darling” or other such names in such a soft tone.

Merit

(03) Are there any romantic gestures that your OC loves? 

Oof. Slightly loaded here bc Merit’s feelings on love and romance, but I knew this going in. The reason I say that on this question specifically is because a lot of romantic gestures have that Weight he learned things to have from the Fae-- gifts, promises, actions, etc look to have double edges to Merit, even if that isn’t the case at all really

That in mind, if you want a romantic gesture that doesn’t also make Merit conflicted, well, small gestures that show back Merit’s own way of affection, touch. Not just touch in that way, but cuddles, idle kisses, comforts like that. 

(16) What is your OC’s ideal first date? 

Hmm. I’m not sure if Merit’s that picky about this? He has the ways he’s used to dates going, or rather how he’s used to flings happening, but nothing that particular. He has a deep appreciation for just the simple wander with someone and laugh with and learn more of them, and drink some maybe and lead that into other physical pursuits. 

...All this said, I don’t know that Merit’s specifically had any other kind of date, or really anyone actively trying to date him in earnest per se to where he has this romantic sense of an Ideal first date. ...aw, my son...

(18) Does your OC have a “type”? 

Yes. If you can find the common denominators physically/personality-wise between Kilan, Noah, and (legit) Reverence, and possibly anyone else you know Merit’s been starstruck over, you can find a good portion of what that Type is. Because I’m not outright saying it. I’ll confirm it, but not say it. 

(24) How does your OC determine that they’re attracted to someone? 

Literally just if one of his first thoughts abt their appearance or their actions is “Oh, hot.” his brain files that away as a “Yes, if they asked” and then determines if he’s in a position to change that to “Yes, this can happen” or if they make an ass of themselves to where he decides “Nah”. I can give examples for each category there, but it boils down to:

Merit, the useless flirt of a pansexual is far too in tune to whether or not he finds someone attractive for just many many reasons, and then actively decides whether it’s in good form to Go For It or not. 

[septicemic-main]

you say you werent enough for me and youll never be, but you always were and more. you were good to me and i didnt do you right, and thats my fault. ive owned my mistakes many times but it seems like whenever i own it, you tell me to get over it. but here’s the funny thing; i dont have a tag for you anymore. i have gotten over you. im not mad at you. i mean, kinda, because sometimes some of the things you say just kinda irk me (but everything irks me), but i do care about you and you always were enough for me. you were always there for me. you were more than what i could ask for. and i respect you for being such a good person to many people (the both of you). you’re open minded but strict on this rule of keeping your own personal morals and thats the most respectable. n, i tried to be you. i really did. i 100% failed but i tried. 

however, i really dislike when people, not wyatt just so were clear (talking abt st;;ao0000lk’’’’’’’er), send me screenshots of you guys saying “i hope you choke,” “i hope you burn in hell,” “youre a dumbass,” etc. because its just? excessively aggressive. and i was highkey suicidal mostly from those comments alone. i mean the dumbass part is true, but combined with the other two it just kinda hurts more.

i am sorry about what happened, and i do wanna say sorry, and i do want to respond to that letter, but to be real...for most of it, i cant say anything because i dont even know what i was thinking either. i mean, i could say sorry, which according to you is enough? but not...because its not enough for me. and thats what i was missing. thats why i did you guys wrong, because i wasnt doing things for myself. i was putting others before myself and that was wrong. i wasnt thinking about what i was saying, i was thinking of what others were saying. i wasnt thinking about what i was doing, i was thinking of doing what others were doing. i wasnt trying to help myself because i wanted to help others. thats why i hated when people tried to help me too much, because i wasnt letting myself be myself. and im working on it. im doing what i want now. im not singing now because thats what other pretty girls do, im rapping because its what i want to do. im not playing minecraft and animating because others want me to, its because i want to do those things. and i hurt other people because i felt like others would hurt me first. i didnt trust myself so i trusted someone else.

and on another note, i never manipulated anyone as of recently. it was all in elementary and up until halfway (i think?) of 6th grade. the thing i posted was a manic episode and i feel gross for admitting to that, but also relieved because now that its in the open i can continue looking back on it and fixing it as i grow and progress. and yes, i am fixing myself. i am working on myself. do i need “hard to swallow pills” to fix myself? no. am i making behavioral changes? yes, slowly, but its getting better. there have been bumps and twists and turns, but im getting better. im learning to accept myself more, not my body, but my mind and personality. 

as for environmental changes,,,hah. yeah, thatll be a while. i cant move out of my house any time soon since im on 6 month parental probation. well, about 5 months now. i think. asdhfuu, but as for my friends? dropped allen, thank god, dropped delta, thank fucking god, ellie is getting better but i still highkey dont really like audrey but thats never gonna change and tbh thats on ellie not me, and ive dropped so many other toxic people in my life now and i just? i feel like i am better now. i have good friends and an even better best friend. so im doing fine. but i am gonna say now, and this is gonna be hella aggressive probably, but you dont know me anymore. you know parts of me, parts of the old me, but you dont know whats happening right now. you dont know the new parts of me that are starting to bud, and you dont know the things ive done to get them. you know part of it, not all of it.

im still working on myself, im a work in progress, but really i always will be, because i will be changing everyday as many things do. i am constantly growing and learning things, and in more than just academic ways. ive opened up completely to strangers, im not ashamed or embarrassed being a furry or agender, im not ashamed of being kin or therian or alternative or being unsure of my sexuality. im finally secure with all of that, and i can accept myself for who i am rather than what the internet or society wants me to be or thinks i should be. 

and im even less concerned about what you think of who i am. i know me, you dont. i never really opened up to you, and i still havent now. there are so many things i was ashamed of that i kept from you, and probably for the better. we are strangers, and we’ve never met. i dont know you anymore. and you never knew me. you can protest this all you want, but im not going to fight you anymore. im waving my white flag. you win. i was a dirtbag, i was a cunt, a bitch, and i made mistakes. but you can never claim you know me, and you can never claim we were friends. because we werent. you were friends with someone im trying to forget. you were friends with a toxic, shit person who hid themself because they couldnt express themself. but not me.

i hope you have a good rest of your whatever tho, night, day, year, etc. *also, i do not want the gsa shirt since i wasted my remaining money on other things :L max asked me abt it and i didnt know if he told you already or not but since im assuming youre seeing this i thought id mention it Ldgusfolashaigf,,,

[stvrwar]

Please tell us more abt the Dead Moms Club! I deadass have the original post about them bookmarked so I can check in. How did they all meet?

Straight up just murder me Bc !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this makes me happy.

Aight. So.

Jude and Rory meet each other in a self-defense class freshman year.

-- Which, it's more than a little funny to imagine Jude in a self-defense class because she's very closed in on herself, so to speak. She isn't a physical person, not like Gomez. But she saw a flyer and thought it was a good idea. A great idea. A way of reclaiming a part of her personhood she still felt she'd lost. But straight up, she owns nothing in the way of like, exercise clothing so she shows up in a long ass skirt and refuses to be shamed for that.

-- Rory is mostly there because he's an asshole but is also there because he's a criminal justice major and helping with the self-defense class would give him extra credit and let's be real, he slacks. So he sort of definitely needs that extra credit. Plus he's violent and knows how to intimidate so honestly, he's perfect for it.

-- But he gets to the class and there's this very obviously tragic looking figure standing there in a floor length skirt and just like misery loves company, it's able to recognize it too. But he's Rory. And he's a dick who's bad at emotions. So he doesn't say anything to her. Fast forward to practicing the defense moves and Rory gets paired with Jude and he's more than a little awkward about it because clearly she's uncomfortable but more than a little determined.  

-- But then he has to grab her from behind, by the shoulder, and she goes stock still and white, blown out eyes. And he lets go. Backs up. No hesitation. Because he's had that look in his eye and he's felt that instinctual tenseness. Because he's physical and is okay with his physicality but sometimes a hit lands too hard and he's back there again, in his dad's shitty Chicago apartment. So he lets go and goes still.

-- He doesn't ask if she's okay because she isn't and she doesn't tell him she's fine because she isn't and instead they stand there in a strange silence in a crowded room, in a sense of knowing with one another that only comes from shared trauma.  

-- Someone shouts out him to finish the fucking defense training, one of the instructors. Derek or something. He was a dick from the start and it had taken everything Rory had not to just fucking punch him when he first walked in. But, the weird girl is all but fucking shaking so he just sighs, tugs his hair down and shrugs.

-- "This is fucking stupid. I'm leaving and getting dinner." He doesn't offer it as an invitation, but Jude goes with him anyway. They go together well as a pair. Her raised to be a weapon, him what's left in the aftermath when one is used.

-- And when she first founds out about the support group, she drags him along. Well. As much as someone could drag an angry dog on a leash.

Margot and Gomez meet at a party. Sort of. 

-- Margot sees Gomez at a party and it's stupid and it's crowded. Her sorority Delta Zeta's brother frat, Pi Kappa Pi, is throwing a rager so of course she's there. It's like. Her job, to be there. She's the social butterfly and has at least two upperclassman on hand at any time to get her booze for a wildly discounted price somehow. It's honestly a real talent.

-- Margot manages to get the hell out of what has quickly became a dance floor in the basement of the frat house and found her way into the kitchen where there's a very pretty girl doing a lot of shots. And while Margot trusts Pi Kapp, she's still more than a little leery at the idea of doing that many shitty tequila shots off a kitchen counter that looks like it's never seen a can of Lysol. But she's pretty. The girl. Like. Stupidly. Wildly. God, I'm so gay pretty.

-- And Margot had already pregamed a bit, had a few sips of that cotton candy Smirnoff she'd gotten from Abby the Senior. So. She goes over and does a shot with her. And another. And another. And oh Christ another. Things get a bit fuzzy then.

-- Gomez didn't do the Greek life scene. It was stupidly expensive just to have a guaranteed in to a party. But that didn't mean she didn't enjoy crashing their parties. She was a girl and first rule of college was that girls get in without being on the list. Nine times out of ten.

-- Some dudebro in a snapback had offered her a drink and she knew her limits, thank you very much, so she didn't see much harm in drinking free, shifty tequila. She was Mexican, she could handle her tequila, no problem. Okay, maybe a little less able to handle it than she'd expected but whatever. Soon she was in the kitchen with enough salt and lime stuck to her lips that she didn't even have to lick her wrist.

-- It was around that time the girl with the pink hair sidled up next to her at the counter and she was a fucking relief, seeing as the last three people to pull that move had been drunk dudes she had approximately zero interest in. And so she just slid over a shot of tequila with a halfway grin on her face.

-- The next day was very, very bright. She didn’t really get hungover. She just got horrible headaches and a little queasy and felt sticky all over. Not hungover. But she had her fucking figure drawing class and it was going to be bright and yeah. Gomez was not looking forward to that. But after downing an entire pot of black coffee, she managed to crawl from her apartment toward campus and into the Art and Journalism building. She set her easel up in the last space remaining and squinted in preparation and.

-- It was her. Pink Hair Tequila Girl. Only she was naked. The professor introduced her as Margot and she gave a wave, winced, and Gomez was more than a little pleased to know she seemed to be just as miserable. 

-- Oh god. Hot Girl From the Party was staring at her with a very blank, exhausted look on her face. What if she like, hated her for letting her get wasted? Well, she didn’t even know her but Margot felt at least a little responsible. And a little embarassed. She’d been modelling for the art department for a year and a half and she’d never been embarassed but suddenly a pretty girl with dark eyes stared at her and she wanted to put her robe back on. For fuck’s sake! 

-- After the class, Gomez delayed packing up her easel. Just a little. Loitering. Watching as Margot tugged her robe back on, yawned. “Hey,” she called over to her after a moment of hesitation. “I think I owe you coffee.” 

The four meet at one of the support group meetings and become relatively close as a foursome, some distance remains between them obviously, but by the time Eze comes to his first meeting, their a very definite sect of the support group. A group within a group. 

Eze attends the group because his grandma says he should, he needs to move on, or at least, move forward. 

-- He’s been so wrapped up in the death of his family that he’s all but become stagnant since it happened. He was seventeen at the time. When he finally takes his grandma’s advice (insistence) he’s almost 21. That’s a long time to be so hung up on the past- even if it is such an important part of his past. 

-- He’s awkward and yeah, no, he’s mostly awkward. He’s never really voiced any of this to anyone. Any of his theories. His anger at the police. His anger at the situation. His anger at the world for what happened, because he tried so fucking hard not to be seen like that. Like just another angry black boy. He doesn’t want Gram to lose him too. 

-- So he’s stayed quiet and he’s stayed angry in the safety of his own mind. But this group, they tell him to introduce himself and they tell him to tell his story and well. Maybe he goes a little overboard. Maybe he comes off too strong, too intense. 

-- But before he can be strong, intense, throw himself overboard, he makes a fucking fool of himself. And then the stupid Thor look alike says some shit to him and fuck. Yeah. Okay. He’s hot. That’s embarassing. This is embarassing. 

-- Pink Hair says something to Thor, but he’s ears are too buy burning to be any good at hearing much at all. The girl next to Pink Hair, the one with the dark braids, snorts before he remembers how to speak again. 

-- The one in the long skirt with the long hair tells him to go on, that she wants to hear, and so he does. And by the time he’s finished, by the time the meeting’s over, those are the four that stay. The four who believed him. Or at least the four who wanted to know more. 

[zacayas]

no real regrets

first fic im writing abt olaya since me and ana gave up on zm

maya hooks up with ollie at a frat party and zm ends. apart of the um d&n au bc i can.

honestly this is just a (kinda) drunk!maya fic for ana

word count: 3327

When Maya walked into Delta Nu Gamma - the first frat house she happened upon throwing party - and up the front steps, planning on ignoring the toll person and heading straight inside when a voice caught her off guard. “Maya Hart?” Stopping in her tracks, she looked over only to have to crane her neck up to meet the eyes of some tall mousy haired kid.

Was she supposed to know him? He looked somewhat familiar.

He must’ve caught on to the fact that he wasn’t registering to her because he supplied an answer. “Oliver Grayson.” Oh, now she remembers. AHS pride and joy, the golden boy. He was always the talk of the school, you couldn’t walk into their old high school on a Monday without hearing about his accomplishments during the Friday before. Even people from her old crowd would talk about him, plenty of them thought he was good looking. Something, it seems, that hasn’t changed.

“Ah, yes, The Golden Boy,” he gave her a sheepish smile at the comment.

Unfortunately because Oliver stopped her, Toll Boy noticed her, asking for the $10 entry fee. “Nah, it’s cool Goose, I got it.” Then he moved around ‘Goose’ placing a hand on Maya’s lower back, guiding her to the drinks. “Finally decided to join the party scene?” He raised an eyebrow, pouring her a cup of whatever it was that Delta bought, handing it over to her before getting his own.

“Who says I’m just joining.” He gave her a look which in return just made her shrug.

He’s right, this is her first time in the “party scene” since starting college - something that surprised everyone, Maya Hart going to college - but sometimes you just need to let loose and tonight was one of those nights. Things weren’t exactly paradise at the moment for her, school was as hard as she assumed it’d be (even if she’s only here to study art) and things with her and Zac have hit some sort of wall. She figured it would happen at some point, deep down, but after all the shit they went through in high school she just ignored the possibility of it ever really happening.

It was getting harder recently. She still loved him, he was special to her in a way no one else would be, but she wasn’t sure if she was still in love with him.

Thinking about all that put a weight on her chest she didn’t want to deal with. That’s how she ended up at Delta.

“Didn’t know you went here,” Maya said instead, ignoring her train of thought.

“I can definitely say the same.” That wasn’t surprising, no one expected her to go to college. “I figured you’d stay in New York,” her eyebrows frowned together, “I always thought NYC was like, artist heaven or something.” He continued, bringing his cup to his lips.

“How do you know I’m an artist?” her eyes narrowing, her cup weighing in her hand. Ever since that one fateful high school party where she cheated on Zac, drinking hasn’t really been something she did. And than when she and Zac went public she stopped drinking all together - she was serious about her relationship with him, her stunt at the winter formal wasn’t her only way of proving it. Now that she wanted to let loose, actually have the taste of alcohol burn the back of her throat, she felt awkward about it. It’s only been a couple of years but it’s felt like a lifetime.

“We were in the same art class for four years,” he didn’t even seemed bothered by the fact that she had no idea.

She brought her cup to her lips, taking a giant swig before commenting. It took her a second to regain her baring, the taste feeling foreign. Oliver didn’t make a comment. “Really?”

He nodded, letting out a chuckle, “Yeah. Weirdly enough, it wasn’t hard noticing when you shared a class with Maya Hart or her Band of Misfits.” He smirked at her letting her know exactly what it was that he was implying.

Her response as to roll her eyes.

Maya was surprised that she stuck around Oliver this long, knowing that she didn’t exactly come to this house to socialize with anyone. Though their session of catching up was cut short as someone came up to them, saying they needed people to play some beer game. It didn’t take a lot of convincing for Maya to make her way over to the table, the night quickly becoming a blur after that. She remembers the game, remembers doing shots with Ollie and some randoms, but after that it’s pretty much non-existent until she’s sitting on the couch with Oliver, being forced to drink water and eat bread.

“My buzz is going away,” she would say in between sips and bites.

“That’s sort of the point.” She narrows her eyes at him again but doesn’t say anything.

“What time is it?” Oliver pulls out his phone to tell her it’s just after 3. She watched as he got a couple of text messages that remind her that she probably has texts from Zac. All that makes her want to do is grab the nearest bottle of alcohol and chug it down. Instead she reluctantly just munched down on bread. Another twenty or thirty minutes went by, the alcohol pretty much gone from her system. She and Ollie stayed sitting on the couch, kind of talking kind of not. For someone she's never really talked to, she had no problem sitting with him now. They sort of had the same sense of humor.

Though she always sort of knew that, she vaguely remembers going back and forth when it came to ragging on their old history teacher. Vaguely.

She wasn’t sure how it happened, who leaned forward first, but before she knew it, they were sitting on that couch making out. It’s been awhile since she’s kissed someone that could keep up with her. Don’t get her wrong, she enjoyed kissing Zac, but the boy wasn’t exactly the most experienced. Oliver knew what he was doing, with a lot more than just kissing.

At some point they headed up stairs, clothes got discarded. Maya didn’t really feel the guilt until the next morning when she woke with Oliver’s arm draped around her waist. She moved his arm off her, not really caring about being careful, and started collecting her clothes. “Where you going?” Oliver’s groggily voice asked, making her look up at him as she pulled a leg through her pants.

“Home,” Maya replied. pulling on her shirt. She looked at her phone to check the time and saw her notifications have been blown up by Zac. “Jesus.” His name glaring up at her, making her stomach turn. She knows after this there is no way they were going to last. She fucked this up.

It’s been fucked up for a long time.

Maya was correct about her and Zac not lasting. At first she avoided talking to him for the first two days, not sure what she would say and not really wanting to deal with the matter. By day three she finally answered his FaceTime just to tell him that she fucked up, fucked some guy. Just as blunt as she could make, no point in sugar coating it. At first he was quiet, just staring at her through the phone before he went off. She didn’t blame him. This is the second time this has happened - the first going as far as she did - and she was completely sober when she made the choice to sleep with Oliver.

He yelled at her about how he shouldn’t be surprised that she was sleeping around, that he couldn’t believe he forgave her after the first time. Couldn’t believe he allowed himself to fall in love with her.

It made her cringe, but she took it all. She was aware that after this, there would no long be “Maya and Zac”, hell, there would be no Zac in her life ever again. She didn’t eve care to correct him about the fact that she was sleeping around. Up until she met Oliver, she had been completely faithful to Zac. But she had no energy to or felt any need to say otherwise. Let him hate her, God knows she deserved it.

She didn’t go to another party since than, concentrating on her studies and spending most of her time alone at a coffee shop just off campus. She hadn’t seen Oliver since that night and, though it was a great night, she was thankful for it. Truthfully she wasn’t sure what she’d do if she saw him and what she needed more than anything was to just concentrate on herself. It’s the one thing that she and her mom agreed on after she called her up pending the breakup with Zac.

Dating Zac did help her grow some, got her to want to college and not be as much as a misfit as she once was. But she wasn’t sure who she was by herself and now that she was single that’s what she needed to figure out.

A month or two passed before she ran into Oliver Grayson again. She was at her usual spot in the coffee shop when his voice grabbed her attention. It was a moment of vague remembrance, but when she looked up and saw his mousy brown hair she knew why it sounded familiar. He was standing there with some people who didn’t register at all to her, smiling and chatting it up. It almost made her want to draw him, but she pushed the urge away, returning to writing the essay due in two days time.

Her ears seem to have a mind of their own however, picking up small parts of his conversation.

“Matthews, I’m telling you, no one fucking cares.” The words came from one of his friends, “Ow, what the hell.”

“Don’t talk to Riley that way,” Oliver said, “Unlike us, she’s a pure soul. We must keep it in tack. It’s our only redeeming quality.”

A feminine laugh followed, “That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said Ollie.”

“No. I’m sure I’ve said stupider things.” At that moment, Maya looked up again to see Oliver smiling down at a brunette in jeans and a flower blouse. She just got a side view of her face but Maya could tell she was attractive. Definitely Maya’s type, if she was looking for someone to pick up.

Just at that moment however, Oliver looked in her direction and caught her eye. Of course, she thought, letting out a sigh. Without so much as a second thought, he made his way over to her, sitting in the vacant chair across from her.

“I don’t remember inviting you to sit down,” she commented, looking at him over his laptop screen.

He shrugged, “I had a feeling I wasn’t gonna get one.”

“So why did you sit down?”

He shrugged again, “I decided to invite myself,” he reached over and picked up her notebook, scanning over the notes she took. “I always enjoyed the work of Caroline Woolard.”

“You know of Caroline Woolard?” She took her book back, raising an eyebrow.

“Kind of, Mom has a couple of her pieces,” he smiled at her, “Anyways! He got up, scooting the chair in, “there’s gonna be another party at Delta if you want to stop by this weekend, if not...” he took her pen and her notebook back again and wrote down his number. “Put it to good use. I have World studies every Wednesday and the professor is the worst.” He gave her a wink and went back to his group of friends, dropping an arm around the only girl there.

She put the number in her phone, though she wasn’t sure why, but never did text Oliver. Not until a good month later. Midterms were coming up and she was starting to stress out and needed some sort of way to get relief. It’s how at 2 am on a Thursday night that she texted him asking if he was free - her roommate having gone home for the weekend, thank God. It didn’t take long for her to convince him to come over, clothes being discarded almost as soon as he walked through her dorm door.

The booty calls sort of became a routine thing. They never really got personal, he’d show up at her dorm - occasionally she’d show up at the frat house - she’d get the release she’d need and that was it. It worked and Maya didn’t feel like she was going against the whole “finding herself” thing she agreed to do.

That was until another month went by and a lot of the students went home for Thanksgiving break. Somehow during that small four day weekend, instead of the usual hit it and quite it, they ended up actually spending time together. Somehow, well Maya was getting dressed he convinced her to go get pizza with him for some sort of attempt at Thanksgiving. They ended up in some hole in the wall that Oliver swore was the best pizza around.

“I know why I didn’t go home,” (they both sort of knew why) Maya said, pizza in hand, “But why didn’t you?”

“Since the divorce they’re pretty much people you want to avoid,” Oliver took a sip of his Coke, “Don’t get me wrong, love ‘em to death, but I’d rather not have to watch the screaming match of a decade happen well I try to peacefully eat mash potatoes.”

The conversation moved on from the serious topic quickly, Oliver bringing up some stories about high school. He’d mention events that were sort of caused by her old Band of Misfits, laughing at her attempts to defend their antics. They both knew that was a lost cause, there was nothing really that could justified.

“Listen, I had no part in that one okay. Johnson decided to let the fireworks off during the dance all on his own.” The mention of their freshman dance were the gym caught fire bringing a smirk to her face.

“You guys were honestly insane.” She nodded, her smirk growing. “And of course you’re proud of that.” He rolled his eyes.

“What about you? Didn’t you ever do anything ‘crazy’ during high school?”

“Never lite a gym on fire if that’s what you’re asking.” She gave him a look, “I once went with a bunch of people to a cabin and went skinny dipping with a couple of girls?”

“That’s weak.”

He mocked an offended look. “Not all of us can have crazy life styles Maya!” He threw his hands in the air, shaking his head.

She let out a small laugh, but truthfully she wasn’t sure if that’s what she call what she had in high school. It could get crazy she supposed, but the rumors were crazier than anything she ever really did back than. They sat in silence for a couple minutes before Oliver opened his mouth again, “Actually, I was convinced to spend the night in an old abandoned asylum that was said to be haunted. If you ask my buddy Trae, that was the craziest thing I’ve done.”

Maya shook her head, “Why would you spend the night in a haunted asylum.”

“Said to be haunted,” he corrected. She narrowed  her eyes. “It was nearing Halloween and my girlfriend at the time suggested it. Everyone but Trae thought it was a splendid idea.”

“Trae seems like the rational one.”

“He was.”

She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “So... did the place turn out to be haunted.”

Oliver shrugged, “We thought we saw a figure or two but there was nothing really to prove it. Not sure if I really believe we saw anything or if it was just our minds playing tricks on us.”

“Are you saying you don’t believe in ghosts?”

“Nah, I believe in ghosts, I just don’t think we saw anything that night.” The rest of the night was them talking about possible experiences they’ve had - Maya lived in a shitty part of New York were more than one person has died around her neighborhood, all the kids living their knew a couple of the areas were bound to be haunted. From their they talked about memories in high school, things that are going on in their lives now, almost anything and everything.

It’s been a long while before Maya got this deep with anyone.

She didn’t share much about her personal life, but she was sharing more than she had in a long time.

They were at the coffee shop, Maya actually letting Oliver sit with her as she stuffed, when some randoms came around. “Hey Ollie.” Maya continued to work, but she couldn’t ignore the sweet tone of voice that said his name. She didn’t even have to look up to know Oliver was smiling at whoever spoke.

“Hey Riles.” From her peripheral she could see that he leaned back in his chair. “What’s up?”

“We’re stoppin’ in to get coffee dumbass.” A new voice said. “Ow. Jeez Riley.” Oliver laughed.

“Oh! Okay. Riley, Jones, this Maya.” At this point she looked up, giving the two new comers a forced smile, “Maya. Riley - she went to high school with us - and Jones, her boyfriend.”

Riley sent her a bright smile, one that went from ear to ear and Maya wondered if it hurt, smiling that wide. “Hi! Yeah, I remember you. Didn’t you date Zac?” Maya recoiled at his name. She tried not to give her ex much thought, the guilt of everything that happened still kind of there.

“Um. Yeah.”

Riley’s smile didn’t falter, “I used to date his younger brother,” Maya nodded, looking at Oliver for some sort of social queue on what she was supposed to do. She didn’t do well with small talk and she never really cared to learn how.

“I don’t think she cares Matthews,” Jones said, quietly but enough for everyone to hear.

Oliver let out another laugh, shaking his head. “We still on for Friday?” That caused Maya to raise and eyebrow, curious about what they were going to do Friday.

“Yup!” Again Riley looked over at Maya again before turning attention back to Ollie. “Is Maya coming?”

Oliver opened his mouth, shut it, gave Maya a thoughtful look before shaking his head. “I haven’t asked her yet.” Riley let out a small hum but didn’t say much after that. Soon enough her name got called for her coffee and they were out of their hair.

As if nothing interrupted them, Oliver went back to his work, highlighting things here, jotting down notes there. All Maya did was stare at him with narrowed eyes. About 30 seconds passed before she decided to ask, “What’s going on Friday?”

“A bunch of us are taking a trip up to Universal Studios,” he replied, not even looking up.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He turned a page in his book, “I’ve been meaning to ask you but usually I’m preoccupied with other things when we’re together.” 

She leaned forward, disregarding her current work, “And how long have you been planning this trip?”

He shrugged, “A couple days? Maybe?” He looked up at her, “Would you be interested in going?” There was something in his voice that caught her off guard, worry maybe. Outside of studying together at the cafe and that one Thanksgiving dinner, they don’t really do anything together outside having sex. Maybe he thinks she wouldn’t want to go.

“Depends.” He raised an eyebrow, “Are you paying for me?” He let out a laugh.

“Yeah.”

“Than I’d be interested.” He smiled at her but didn’t say anything else about it, returning to his work.