#thank god for the human version
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ooo artms virtual angel mv....how u tried to blind me....and u used the best bait of all....a great song
#thank god for the human version#the thing is i can appreciate the original in the concept it's going for of like an angel u cant look at for too long but OW MY EYES#the girls look and sound incredible tho i have to buy this album when i get paid just to see the concept photos#i hate u jaden jeong but i cannot deny ur craft ok#text
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Snek Crowley
I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER OFFERING TUMBLR---
It took me a bit longer to clean up this sketch as I hadn't really decided on the final shape of the head BUT I'VE GOTTEN IT DONE NOW!! I didn't originally add the hearts but it felt empty without them so I added them back in. For those looking forward to me making these purchasable stickers, I'm working on it now! It'll be through my already existing RedBubble account. Apologies if you don't like RB - its the only avenue I have to post them right now. I'll be posting Azi and Crowley as stand alones here, and I'll be spending the next few hours updating my initial sketch to complete the set. I'll make a new post with a proper link once it's all done! (The watermarks in the bg are intentional, I wanted to do it with Birb Azi last night but didn't have the file on my tablet and was too impatient to wait until morning LMAO)
#my art#snake crowley#good omens#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#anthony j crowley#aziracrow#crowley#I haven't drawn this much fan art in a HOT minute#Thank god I'm used to drawing animals#human versions in the future maybe??#fanart
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hrmm cherik au where Erik does leave the CIA and for some reason Charles, Raven, and Hank decide to join him
so instead of Charles convincing Erik to stay he just goes “Wait right here while I grab the others” and Erik is just “Wait what- 🧍”
i have no idea how this would go honestly but basically they form a smaller version of the xmen and they trail after Shaw until they reach Cuba but it doesn’t really work out all that well for them so they all kinda fail and everyone dies ☹️
like they did minimal training of their powers, they never used cerebro to find the others, they never captured Emma, they couldn’t even find the submarine because they didn’t have Sean, etc.
on the plus side cherik still got together but it probably felt rushed for both of them as they never gave themselves enough time to stop and talk about it
it’s all Shaws fault 😒
they all died on the beach 🙁
well at least the CIA doesn’t have locations of a bunch of mutants so they can’t get their grubby, corrupt hands all over the information about mutants actually existing
that’s something 😥
#not very confident in where i was going with this#honestly if Erik left shit would be a lot worse#theres an alt version of this where Charles still stays but the humans end up corrupting him and a bunch of other mutants#thank god for Charles’s persuasion skills#anxiety keeps whispering in my ear#i dont need ur opinion let me live my life#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#professor x#magneto#xmen first class#wish does not shut up
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽`)
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#pranabefall#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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da*2. is a game
#more thoughts below here be warned. i really enjoyed the introductory sequence and how it juxtaposed varric's dramatized version with the#real sequence of events. i also enjoy how they tied in lothering. imo id say the game has a really solid start. i also really enjoy the#visuals and stylistic direction of the game- i'd even go so far as to say i largely prefer it to inquisition (its just the oilyness LMFAO)#esp with the qunari and how they look.. less so with the proportions of the elves* (something that really irked me in inquisition is how#harold is forced to have the very clearly downscaled proportions while the elvish npcs (solas sera and basically every other elf#you interact with) dont have the slouched shoulders and very? crumpled looking frame). dont like that youre forced only to play as a human#though its very obvious that they were not given a reasonable amount of time to actually finish the game because OH MY GOD the reused#locations. the story was fairly solid at the start but the game is incredibly short (im in act 3 at the end of 2 days of playing) esp in#comp to origins. everything feels vaguely disconnected in a way thats uncharacteristic of bioware with the context of having played dao dai#and some of me1. and introducing the timeskips did Not help. i can see why people got absolutely attached to the companions however#with the system of friend + rival and it producing dichotomic benefits. rivalmances apparently existing also creates a really fun way of#interacting with your companions. i like anders#anyways completely unprompted thoughts on da2 over thank you for your time (i just needed somewhere to put them or i would go insane)
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Episode 8 I am so scared....
#mel magical girl transformation.... her mother's weapon... christ... mel will save them all vi step aside!!#this is so funny... mel with her bodysuit and golden bodypaint walking thru the valley with her new pet crow.... slay#SINGED WILL CONTROL VIKTOR???? AND VANDER??? AMBESSA ENOUGH! VIKTORS VOICE OMG!!#LORIS REMINDING VI OF VANDER NOOOOO I KNEW THIS WAS COMING!!! CAILTYN TAKING MADDIES HAND AWAY FROM HER AKDJSK#arrested jinx???? OH MY GOOOD JINX!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HER PUPILS ARE SO WIDE SHES SO OUT OF IT#YES CAITLYN END THE CYCLE!!!!! they repaired the council table with golden stuff.... YES JAYCE FINALLY REALIZED!!!! OOF NOT THE BEST MOMENT!#UPSIDE DOWN KISS COME ON!!! Viktor realizing too that it has been all jayces fault.... this is so sad.... what a breakup#silco talking to jinx about breaking the cycle... he became a hallucination too.... not so bad like the others thats inch resting#THE HUG NOOOOOOO YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH HER????? SHES GONNA DIEEEEEEE NOOOOOOO VI AGAIN IN PRISON UNABLE TO SAVE HER SISTER!!!!!#theres no good version of me after we just fucking saw it im gonna be sick.... SEVIKA AND THE FIRELIGHT GUY IN THE COUNCIL ROOM??#what tf are you wearing jayce.... an outsider force putting an end to a civil war who woulda thot.... OMG THE PARALEL TO THEIR FIRST MEETING#WHAT THE HELL!!! NOT IN THE PRISON CELL!!!! AFTER VI JUST TOLD HER THAT??? AKDJAKSJ CAITLYN HOLD YOURSELF!!! my god i need a pause#vi does look so good from the back.... but my god why are they doing this now akdjsksjk maddie is upstairs akdhaksn WHYYYYYYY NOW????#no WAYYYYY WE GOT HER BACK TATTOO REVEAL NOW!!!!!! WHAT THE HEEEEEEEELLL OH MY GOOOOOD VIIIII GOING DOWN AND LOOKING UP THANK YOU GOD!!!!AAA#cait laughing... girl i would too... that was all so detailed too like damn... vi was amazed by the Kirammountains....#so thats it... can i be honest.... a little too unemotional.... like their kiss was something else entirely....#but this is vi just going DAMN!!! RIGHT NOW!!! and pouncing... which i understand but their bed scene... come on.. i needed to cry with this#so no talk about reconciliation..... *throws phone on the floor and jumps in skateboard and breaks it in half*#vander dying with viktors humanity..... and sky.... viktor getting his mask.... my god.... and vander losing his memories.... should we all#talking tag#watching arcane season 2#watching arcane#you know i understand caitlyn admited she was manipulated and what vi said about second chances but.... apologies please.....#oh now i get it she sent the guards to the gates so jinx could escape..... alright alright... i thought she did that only so they could fuck#well vi did follow her sisters advice and got with her i guess akdhaksjak which okay is nice bc she said she didn't need to feel guilty#about being happy.... alright i understand now *viktors voice*#alright i was slow my bad... vi pounced on her bc she is just so grateful that she let jinx go and cailtyn did let go of her anger.... aight
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the 2001 planet of the apes is so good to me. like, the 1968 version will always have a special place in my heart because the makeup magic was... dare i say... very magical, but i liked how the 2001 one leaned into a more biologically accurate angle. like, those are straight up apes. no wonder humans aren’t speaking as a survival tactic, those things could hurt you without even trying. again, the 1968 one was so good and impressive but the fact that taylor could overpower the actors that were playing gorillas was a little jarring lol. which makes sense, cos so much of his escape plan relied on him being strong enough to push people out of the way.
this isn't a complaint btw! they're just people in costumes---they are still very much giving ape, but there wasn't much they could do about that on a physical level. so, when the 2001 had these big hulking gorillas and more accurate looking chimpanzee faces on the screen, i appreciated that detail about the humans exploiting their fear of the water. it leveled the playing field without making the fight against the apes look like a losing battle
#i do really love that u can still tell it's makeup though#i feel like people say that as an insult bc it apparently “takes them out of the story” but like. cmon#cgi or not they're not real apes either way#i explained this so horribly as per usual :(#but im just saying that those mfs---especially chimps---are STRONG#like if we wanna get technical the gorillas at the beginning had to have been making a conscious effort not to use ALL their strength#when they were hunting the humans in the 1968 movie#otherwise they prob just would have died/been severely injured by just being manhandled into their cages#i think the only hint of ape strength we got is when cornelius straight up murdered that mf just by whacking him in the head w a lunch tray#im no movie expert (far from it... i cant be trusted to analyze anything really) but i did rlly like the 2001 version for a lot of reasons#the first one obviously being what this post is about: addressing the natural strength advantage apes have. which is why they don't use gun#bc why even give humans a sliver of a chance to get the upper hand#also they officially addressed why they hate monkeys! i mean u could kinda assume why but the confirmation was nice lol#i lowk didn't understand how the apes rose in that movie like even tho it was weird in the 1968 version#at least they dedicated several movies to the concept#woah these tags got long! thank god for this sideblog cos im not even embarrassed about it#ah shoot i forgot to add actual tags!#planet of the apes#planet of the apes 2001
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[ is it really too much to ask for someone to write the granada/book version of sherlock holmes? ]
#[ i just want the version of holmes that is very much human and acts like one ]#[ and although a factual person has actual emotions and can feel joy and sorrow and fear ]#[ and can show affection with words and deeds and can feel for other people ]#[ and who isn't an omniscient god and makes conclusions based on physical evidence that he actually provides without being a pompous ass ]#[ and doesn't treat everyone like a dummy and isn't like 'i'm so much better and smarter than you everyone look at me i need attention' ]#[ and he only assumes others to know as much as he does about things because that's what smart people generally assume in real life ]#[ and although he's a little eccentric for his time he's not just a weirdo who collects body parts for no reason ]#[ thank you for bearing with my rant lol i just fucking hate bbc sherlock with a passion ]#[ and to this day i believe the writers were just trolling from start to finish because they were too dumb to write a cohesive narrative ]#[ and too lazy to even read the books. the show literally reads like a fanfiction ]#; out of tea
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i hope yer happy with yourself YURI CAUSE CROSS HERE MUSTVE HAD HER SPEAR AND STABBED MY HEART AND THEN PULLED IT OUT TO KEEP IN HER TROPHY ROOM OF HEARTS SHE HAD STOLEN /LHJ
overall, tiddies rating 10/10
DAMN ten outta ten??? she wouldn't know what to do with all this flattery dude cmoon HHGFSHGF fr fr waaa thank youuuu >:'D <333333
#ask#my art#cross#fem!cross#GHFHGH i've SEEN your reblog you little sneaky minx!!!! how DARE you be so sweet >:'((((#and ughghg drawing me FANART??? brooo#stop being so cool and talented istg i'm gonna CRYYY WAILING SOBBING this looks so cuuuute<3333#muah muah love the lil freckles :'0 thank you sm for drawing my gal >:'D i'm munching on your artstyle rn it's so scrumptious <333#she's new to the whole god of det thing cause she kinda had to fight the last one for the title so dw you're her first prize wehehe >:)#btw it's been agesss since i've seen these designs but i do have the story and new version doodles planned in my wips if you wanna see that#it's a hit or miss when it comes to these lil au ideas in terms of engagement since they're human vers and not skeletons#which i don't mind but it's always so funny trying to find what my audience wants to see cause i never know what to draw for y'all xD#i was SO sure ppl were here for killer art the most- but then i recently learned that you guys like to see more apple brother art!#i really wanna know what got you guys to follow me in the first place actually cause i'm so curious!! >:D and what you wanna see more of to#ok okay tangent over hhh THANK you so so so so much for passing by paper'd you're a real bean for this one muah muah<33333
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#george is the only thing i like about it lol#thank god for russell tovey cause I find the other performances totally wrong for the characters#this version of mitchell is pretentious and unlikable#and i find annie irritating and like the polar opposite of how lenora crichlow plays her#and the guy playing herrick honestly didnt seem evil enough#being human#being human uk#being human bbc
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hit the tag limit again lmao
#and they didn't even warn me#Thank god for two versions of the same song#Anyway all I was doing was saying some shit about like#If you think this post (these posts lmao) were about you#I can almost guarantee they're not#Because you took the time to read them#And I promise that the people I'm talking about#Would not read this#Or hey! Maybe you didn't read it!#Maybe not all of it#Truly who is to say#Truly shocking what one (1) day of no human contact does to a mfer#Really losing that fight with Trypho right about now#Real alogia hours#Maybe this is just what it's going to be like now#Maybe this is what it's going to be like forever#I really thought it was going to be a good year#My tires lied to me again#Maybe one day I'll let myself feel things instead of making jokes about it
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dog party went as expected. Muffy did not interact with any of the dogs and instead peed a bunch and pooped on the balcony and then hung out with all the humans. Unni did not interact with any of the dogs but was interested every time food was served or mentioned. All the dogs wanted to go home after 20 minutes so we left. I think it was a success
#you know those introvert memes where they talk about hanging out with a pet at a house party?#Muffy is the dog version of that he hung out with humans at the dog party#and it’s ok that he peed on the balcony thank god that’s what their dog uses the balcony for too and they hose it down every morning
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One word: F O R E H E A D
Hey! This is my take on the beautiful hair EA ruined by being unaware of basic human anatomy! Because a receding hairline goes BACK on the head, and not UP! That would be Ki-Adi-Mundi!!!!!!!!
There's an overlay version too!
BGC
All Lods
Hat Chops
24 EA Colors
40 Puppy Crow Colors (You will need the mesh with the EA colors)
Acc Streaks (88 colors, including the extra EA ones, located on PIERCINGS)
TOU
💜 • DOWNLOAD • 💗
PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING ON KO-FI OR BECOMING A PATRON. I’m struggling to pay my college tuition and buying my ADHD meds, I can't work or study without them and, right now, I'm not making enough money to cover both issues. Please, consider sharing too, if you can’t help. Thank you for the support :)
Adding to my usual begging moment, and again I'm really sorry about this because I hate this more than you do, but I am really struggling. My parents aren't making enough money, me neither. I feel like I'll only be free of this situation when i graduate, but for now, please consider donating. If each one of you donated $1 dollar, it would clear my entire debt AT ONCE. I'm not joking. Just please consider helping <3 Love you, may God bless us all.
#the sims 4#ts4#sims 4#ts4cc#s4cc#the sims 4 custom content#ts4mm#the sims community#the sims cc#simblr
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in the time loop the only way out is to leave her there but you don't ever leave her there, never in the roughly one thousand years you have been in the same day. it is probably like "50 first dates" but you haven't stooped so low as to watch "50 first dates" yet. (but who is to say what another thousand years of the same media will bring to you, maybe you will develop a new taste).
you spent about 200 of these years sulking in a bathtub or on the couch or staring at the seaside. 300 of them have been spent slowly mapping the geographical distance you can actually get before the time loop restarts. you have a list of favorite places: one library in Western Massachusetts called "The Bookmill", which has weird hours and has never raised an eyebrow to you arriving out-of-breath and panting, asking to see a specific book on a specific shelf. There is one beach without a name in North Carolina; it is an accident of geography and ownership title disputes - and it is pristine, untouched, warm and cozy. you've taken her on a lot of picnics there. Acadia National Park. One specific birdhouse in the mountains.
you were stuck in the time loop with the money you entered it with: not enough to rent a private jet. you've robbed a bank a few times, you don't like the way it ends. maybe next century you'll get the hang of it. you don't like the look on her face when you say hang on i have to stop at the bank.
you just have to leave her, and you can go back to being a person again. you took 5 years just catching a flight and sitting in the Grand Canyon. if there's one thing you regret more than anything, it's that you hadn't gotten your passport renewed before this fucking time loop. maybe you should spend some time learning forgery - but also, like, you look like an english teacher. nobody is going to be cool about you asking to see their paper printing machines.
the world is very big. that is one of the things groundhog day gets wrong. there are no consequences, so you have literally all the time (or none of the time?) in the world. in groundhog day, he does a lot of very cool things, but in reality - your muscle memory never gets better. you can't necessarily learn how to play piano or sculpt ice, because your hands never remember the practice. but hey - maybe you'll try violin next. drums. synth.
you can open any door and walk into any conversation. money isn't really an object. you can try every meal off every menu, forever. take her on helicopter tours and into every museum and on every event that is happening right-now at-this-moment. parades and funerals and calligraphy classes.
but you are somewhat trapped by the limitations of your body. if you were reading a book, you still need to get up and go back to the library and find that book again when the day resets. (thank god for the internet). it still takes like 2 hours to board a plane, and then takeoff and landing and traffic. you've gotten off to run around on the freeway. one of the little thankful things: since your brain isn't actually developing (it's a muscle too), the days thankfully don't feel shorter to you. that would be agony.
all you have to do to leave the timeloop is let that man get away with it. that's all. in every version of yourself - forever - you have stopped him.
the problem is that this experience has convinced you of the existence of the human soul. after all, how else are you forming memories? your very cells reset. information has to be transferred somehow. and if timeloops are real, you can convince yourself other magic exists. so you have two choices here: this hell, or the next. there might be a millennia where you have been worn down to the point you can accept fate's decision. this is just not one of them. ironically - she is the one thing you have left.
and besides! if you can't always find something new in your partner, aren't you failing them? there is something new about her, every day with the same morning. every brutal day with the same orange sunset.
after all, you wanted to live with her in heaven, in eternity, and, well - isn't this second-best.
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Clean [Loki x Reader]
A link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: After a difficult mission, your ex Loki has a revelation. (w/c 1.6k) Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Mild angst. Pining. Feelings. Smuttish. Loki x Fem Reader. A/N: I'm planning some filthy stuff soon - but for now, we're still in angsty romance era. 😇
Loki sat hunched with his back against the bathroom wall, head in his hands. Blood was smeared over the white shirt: his own and not his own. It was ripped in several places, sleeves folded up to the elbows.
“It wasn’t locked,” you said stiffly, fingers tightening around the knob. “Would it have mattered? I expect you’re quite desperate to see me like this.” He tilted his head, voice sharp, eyes tired. “Don’t you wish to capture the scene on your device? Surely Rogers would relish a commemoration of my ineptitude.”
Loki had made a scene as the team exited the Quinjet, throwing his ruined suit jacket off the roof of Stark Tower and kicking a fire bucket for good measure. His voice was choked with anger.
“Let me be,” he’d roared after Steve shouted something about medical in his direction. The Captain had turned to the rest of you with a defeated shrug, but your eyes hadn't left Loki's back as he waged a path though the doors and they slammed behind him in a flash of green.
Loki had taken the worst of the heat from the Hydra agents working undercover in downtown Chicago. He’d been cornered by three of them, and soon a capture order had turned into a triple kill—but not before taking some punishment for his efforts.
‘I tried to subdue them humanely,’ Loki had muttered afterwards, inspecting a deep gash on his forehead in the Quinjet’s sheen. ‘They wouldn’t listen to reason.’ ‘How hard did you try?’ Steve had sniped. ‘We’re in a pickle now, thanks Laufeyson. A real pickle indeed. Typical.’ To that, Loki had said nothing. He’d refused all clean-up on the way home, sitting in a fury-riddled silence that tainted the re-circulated air.
You took a step over the bathroom’s boundary, and then shrank back.
Relations between you had been frosty since you’d gone your separate ways: to this day you weren’t quite sure what had happened. One day, everything was perfect. The next—it was over. You’d chalked it up to the god settling in to life on Earth; him realising you weren’t the only person on the planet who thought the sun shone from his perfectly formed arse…but that had never felt right. Despite snooping, you’d never got a whiff of him shagging anyone else. Based on your experience with Loki, that was especially odd.
You took a deep breath, crossing the floor and extending a hand. To your surprise, he took it and heaved himself up. Fuck, you’d forgotten how heavy he was; how his forearms bulged when they flexed, how his body felt pressing down on yours as he railed you gently on the bed you’d shared.
Ok, maybe not that last one. You cleared your throat, pulling your hand back. Loki sighed, eyes cast to the floor.
“I’m filthy,” he said with an air of disgust, reflexively running a hand across his waist. Pain rippled across his features.
“You’re hurt, you need to go to—” “I’m quite well.” “Loki,” you warned. His lashes fluttered up, nailing his gaze to yours. An eyebrow cocked. Feeling your cheeks heat, you turned and switched on the shower. “Steve shouldn’t have spoken to you like that earlier,” you said, trying to keep the flurry of nerves from your voice. “You did what you had to do—they’d have killed you.” “Please,” Loki snorted. “They would not have killed me. I’m offended that you would even imply it.” You glanced over your shoulder. Even in his dishevelled state, he was giving every inch the haughty, regal snob that you’d fallen desperately in love with. And that was the problem, wasn't it? It was the only version of him you'd ever been granted.
“Then why are you in such a state?” Loki’s brow furrowed. “A what?” “Why are you upset?” “I’m not upset.” “You were literally sitting on the floor with your head in your hands.” “It’s an Asgardian victory custom.” “Loki…”
His jaw clenched as you leant against the sink and his keen eyes darted over your face. “I…tried not to kill them,” he said through gritted teeth. It was the same voice he’d used when the two of you had ‘the conversation’—you hadn’t heard it since. An icy finger trailed down your spine at the bitterness in his voice as he said, “I failed.”
Understanding blossomed through your mind. You remembered a cold winter’s night, Loki curled naked against your back, confessing his deepest secret while he thought you’d slept. I’m afraid I’ll never be good, he’d whispered in the dark; that I’ll always be stained with the curse of my past.
You realised the mask of stoicism had slipped from your face at the exact moment Loki’s expression shifted. His gaze broke, returning to the floor. “You should leave,” he said. “You’re not safe with me.” The echo of the last time you’d been alone together—the same words. Does he remember?
Pushing off the sink, you shuffled towards him, cupping his forearm. The grit of dried blood rubbed beneath your fingertips as you squeezed. “You can’t think that. It’s been years…”
Suddenly Loki’s hands ran up your cheeks, thumbs pressing into your jaw as your back met the wall. He’d pinned you under the shower, speckles of water hitting off his shoulder and splattering your skin. His eyes searched yours: all fire, and destiny.
“I’ll never be free,” he said. His gaze dropped to your lips and back to your eyes. “I’ll never be clean.”
You caressed the well-trodden path his buttons made up the front of his shirt. Still beautifully tailored despite the dirt, and sweat, and blood. “Not with that attitude,” you said, and his brows peaked. “Everyone knows your history, Loki. We need you here. We want you here.” “And you?”
The shower seemed very loud all of a sudden. Especially me. “You really have to ask?” You brushed the sides of his shirt apart and Loki swallowed, his eyes closing a heartbeat too long as your fingers lingered on the bruise forming over the flat of his abdomen. “Loki…” you chided, tracing the blossom of indigo across his alabaster skin. “Steve was right, you should be in medical.” He snorted, hands falling by his sides. “If you’d come five minutes later, it would have been gone.” Fat droplets of water roll over the tips of his cheekbones, streaks of pale skin beneath the dust and dirt of the mission. You’ve never seen him like this. He never let you see anything other than the perfect prince; the unshakeable god. “Doesn’t it hurt?” You circled higher on his chest, appreciating the taut skin firm beneath your own. You'd swear you could see the thrum of his heartbeat.
“Always,” he said sadly, and something in his voice told you he wasn’t talking about the injuries. God, I miss this. I miss him. Now, finally, you could admit it to yourself. The weight of the confession slid from your body, circling the drain as Loki shivered, and the dark pools of his pupils spread wider.
Cautiously, your hands ran up his chest, over his shoulders, peeling the soaking shirt from his back and down his arms. It fell with a slop to the shower floor.
“What are you doing?” he asked with a faint narrow of his eyes. You licked your lips, unsure of what how to answer. What are you doing? But it was now or never. This kind of vulnerability was a particularly rare ship to dock in Loki’s harbour.
Running your palms up his neck, he groaned softly as they slid up the sharp prow of his jawline, up the bladed cheekbones and into the slick of his sodden hair. He closed his eyes, a low sigh rattling his chest. For a moment, there was only the patter of water against porcelain.
“Showing you how to be clean again,” you whispered before your lips fastened to his. Loki’s eyes shot open, one hand slamming to the tiles behind your shoulder to steady himself as you pulled away. Your heart thumped between your ribs.
Oh god, he doesn’t want it. You’ve fucked it up. Memories of the longing glances you’d seen painted on his face across the room, the brush of his touch on your arm which lasted a second too long, the anger simmering beneath his skin when he thought you’d moved on. It had all been in your head. The thought was almost too much to bear.
“Why did you stop?”
Breath caught in your throat as his words soaked through the rising steam; low and smooth. The response fell from your mouth in breathless stages, hyper-focused on the shirt plastered to his skin. “I didn’t think you wanted it, I’m sorry I—” A soft, disbelieving chuckle rumbled in his throat before he said, “How could I not want you?” Your eyes rose.
The god was fully soaked now; hair plastered to his neck like ink, shirt and trousers moulded to the sinews and meat of his body like a second skin. The last traces of dirt from his skin were gone, and the water around your feet ran clear. You pulled the back of his neck towards you.
Loki’s kiss was an eruption of desire, of pain, of need; his palm slipping on the tile behind your head before switching to your waist. It worked over your hip, your breasts, your ass, never staying in one place, never lingering too long. “Gods, I missed you, I've missed you,” he murmured wet against your cheek. You crossed your arms over your chest, pulling the sodden top over your head. “So soon?” A soft smile curled at his mouth. “We’ve wasted enough time, haven’t we?”
In answer, Loki ran a finger from the hollow of your neck between your breasts. A chill skated across your skin as your trousers dissolved— his too. He pressed his body to yours, warm against the sharp sting of the tiles. Water pooled in the crevice where your skin met, Loki’s kisses sliding over your lips—one slipping into the next—pants of devotion wisping down your throat. He lifted your thigh, manoeuvring himself inside with one, liquid movement. You clasped to his shoulders, nails digging in to his flesh like he might vanish. All you could feel was his body, his presence, his faint moan of relief in your ear.
“No more living in the past,” you panted. “Loki, promise me.” He tilted his cheek into your wrist, water droplets falling from the ends of his hair to the curve of your breasts below. “A fresh start,” he said quietly, kissing the delicate skin. You groaned as he thrusted gently inside you. “Clean,” he panted, “New.” “Together,” you said. “Together,” Loki replied.
And then, among plumes of steam and the slide of bodies and wordless promises, there was no more talking.
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Ouf on one hand prozac murdered me dead but on the other stimulants make my heart explode so hopefully ndri helps ? The thing is it def gives me headaches and a bit of anxiety but it's only been one week so far n it's one that takes getting used to but like. Hey I drew tonight for the first time in Ever and I finally vacuumed a little bit and I've been meaning to do that for a while so ???
#text#paersonal#me squinting to see if placebo effect a general mood thing or it Actually working#cause like. it's not a serotonin one Just norepinephrine#headaches r minor usually anyway#not being able to drink will kind of fucking suck I imagine like I didn't much before but like. what if I go to margaritaville and want a#fun fruity cocktail...#ig I can ask for it virgin sob#anyway the anxiety is kinddd of welcome#bc for the past four something years it's been nearly always absent when I Should be anxious just like. as a human#n like hey prozac. thanks for getting me through hs without me killing myself but I need executive functioning is the issue#and I need to not be totally apathetic to everything occurring#god I wish stimulants agreed w me !#if this doesn't pan out I'm thinking maybe guanfacine#mighr help. n if not that I might try to force myself to acclimate to stimulants ? bc I've read some ppl need the extender version (which I#think I tried tbf) or need time but I never took mine regularly bc I Hated Them#so maybe if I stuck it out it'd get better#the issue is I just don't have a memory. so idk what I did is the thing .#but I also saw some ppl took like a blood pressure med With stimulants to make it not so awful#idk if my BP went up much - I think it was relatively normal when I was on it - but the palpitations... oof
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