#i dont need ur opinion let me live my life

[wishchip106]

hrmm cherik au where Erik does leave the CIA and for some reason Charles, Raven, and Hank decide to join him

so instead of Charles convincing Erik to stay he just goes “Wait right here while I grab the others” and Erik is just “Wait what- 🧍”

i have no idea how this would go honestly but basically they form a smaller version of the xmen and they trail after Shaw until they reach Cuba but it doesn’t really work out all that well for them so they all kinda fail and everyone dies ☹️

like they did minimal training of their powers, they never used cerebro to find the others, they never captured Emma, they couldn’t even find the submarine because they didn’t have Sean, etc.

on the plus side cherik still got together but it probably felt rushed for both of them as they never gave themselves enough time to stop and talk about it

it’s all Shaws fault 😒

they all died on the beach 🙁

well at least the CIA doesn’t have locations of a bunch of mutants so they can’t get their grubby, corrupt hands all over the information about mutants actually existing

that’s something 😥

[alex-supremacy4]

OKAY SL MY OPINION ON WW..

might delete later, just felt in a willy's wonderland mood rn (my silliest mood)

tl;dr at end if ur too lazy to read everythimg

tw: mentions of death, mentions of s3x, spoilers, etc

chris did NKT deserve to get killed. he literally didnt. but you know who did? BOB AND THAT BITCH KATHY. AARON AND DAN DIDNT DESERVE TO GET KILLED EITHER, TJEY BARELY EVEN DID SHIT

KATHY AND BOB DESERVED TO BE KILLED. LITERALLY. BOB WAS BEING THE FAT FUCK HE IS, BUT KATHY IS WORSE. SHE WAS TRYING TO SEDUCE CHRIS, AARON AND DAN EVEN WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH BOB. AND THEN, HAD S3X IN THE MIDDLE OF A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION LIKE BITCH RECOGNIZE THE SITUATION YOUR ASS IS IN RIGHT NOW. AFTER THAT, SHE DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO HELP BOB NOT DIE AND WASNT EVEN WILLING TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL LIKE PULL THE ANIMATRONIC AWAY OR HIT IT, ETC. SHE JUST RAN TO THE DOOR AND TRIED TO GET OUT FAST. SHE WAS AN ASSHOLE GIRLFRIEND AND DESERVED TO GET HER ASS KILLED OFF. SO DID BOB, BUT I FELT A BIT BAD BECAUSE HE WASNT EVEN HELPED AT ALL AFTER THAT.

BUT CHRIS. I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD FOR CHRIS. HE DIDNT DESERVE TO DIE I SWEAR. HE WAS SO FUCKING SWEET (excrpt for the time he rammed into bob but not in THAT way, just ran into bob and got them stuck inside of the resturaunt.) AND CARED ABOUT THEM SM. AND THEN HE TRUSTED CAMMY. HE TRUSTED HER HE FUCKING TRUSTED HER. AND THEN HE WAS BACKSTABBED. LIKE NO THAT DIDNT HAPPEN!!! HE GRABBED CAMMYS TONGUE AND CHOPPED IT OFF BEFORE HE COULDVE DIED AND RAN OFF EITH THE JANITOR AND LIV BEFORE THEY COULDVE GOTTEN STOLEN BY WILLY OR THE GRANDMA PEROSN THING CALLED SHERRIF LUND.. (im delusional) But anyways HE DIDNT DESERVE ANG OF THAT.

DAN WAS JUST A SILLY LITTLE GOOBER WHO DIDNT DESERVW TO DIE EITHER, NOOO I DONT KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT!!! HIS INSIDES DIDNT GET TORN OUT AND EATEN OUT BRUTALLY, HE WAS FIGHTING BACK FOR HIS LIFE AND SUCCEEDED AND SAVED EVERYONE ELSE FROM DYING (except for kathy and bob) AND FLEW AWAY ON A TAP DANCING FLYING OVERSIZED DOG (im delusional pt2)! AND HE WAS JUST TRYINH TO HELP I THINK BUT THEN IT BACKFIRED ON HIM. I HATE YOU SIREN SARA AND TITO GREEN Turtle ASS THING.

aaron.. aaron.. AARON DIDNT DIE NOT MY KID NOT MY BBG. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT HE DIDNT GET IMPALED WITH A SWORD BY THAT DUMBASS KNIGHTY KNIGHT BITCH HE LIVED BY REALIZING WHAT WILLY'S SONG MEANT, TURNED TO LOOK BEHIND HIM, GRABBED THAT BITCHES SWORD AND FOUGHT HIS ASS TO THE DEATH UNTIL HE FINALLY GOT HIM AND STABBED HIS ASS!!!!! HE THEN TAP DANCED OVER THAT BITCHES CORPSE, FLEW AWAY WITH HIS FRIENDS (but left bob and kathy behind) AND PLAYED FLAPPY BIRD WHEN THEY GOT HOME! (im delusional pt3). AARON DIDNT DWSERVW THAT SHIT BUT HE TRIED TO STOP CHRIS FROM GETTING AT BOBS ASS BUT THAT DOESNT MATTER, HE WAS SO <33 PLEASE BRING HIM. BACK I LOVE HIM HE SHOULDVE DIED LAST OR NEVER EVEN DIED AT ALL

LIV AND THE JANITOR WERE SO ICONIC. THEY WERE SO COOL AND SILLY AND LITTLE GOOBERS IM SO GLAD THEY DIDNT DIE BUT THE FACT THE JANITOR LET (I THINK) WILLY BLOW TWO POWERFUL ASS ATTACKS TO HIM MADE ME CRY SO VIOLENTLY LIKE WTF. HELLO????????? TELL ME THAT SOMEONE ELSE CRIED AT THAT PART TOO PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO SOB WITH ME WHILE WE REWATCH THE MOVIE 4 TIMES PLEEAAHAHAHAHASE IM BEGIGNG YIU. PLEAS3 PLEAS E PLESD RPLEASE.. also im makijg a willys wonderland au with m. characters and sneak peek: kathy doesnt exist so the charavter thats bob is just gonna be. complete asshole with no bitches and dies first 🥶🥶

i HATE THAT BITCH SHERRIF LUND. SHE TRIED LEAVING JANITOR TO DIE AND FORCED LIV TO LEAVE THE JANITOR BEHIND. AND THEN SHE LURED IN WILLY, NOT EXPECTING HIM TO BE BEHIND HER INSTEAED.. AND YOU KNOW EHAT??? SHE GOT WHAT SHE DESWRVED. SHE GOT KILLED AND SLICED IN HALF, LIKE SHE SSHOULD BE. SHE NEEDS TO LEARN HER PALXE AND WHY THE FUCK SHE WOULD SACRIFICE A GOOD PERSOSNS LIFE JUST FOR THAT CRAPPY ASS TOWN THAT IS TOTAL SHIT AND DOESNT EVEN DESERVE TO EXIST.

evan is my silly goofy goober boy and nothing can change that.. EVAN DIDNT KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING THOUGJ, SO IT CHANGED S LITTLE BIT BECAUSE HE WAS KINDNOF TOTAL SHIT TO LIV IN THE CAR AND KIND OF DESERVED TO GET EATEN BY ARTY ALLIGSTOR OR TITO TURTLE . FORGOT WHICH IT WAS BUT EH.. IM NOT EVEN GONNA BE DELUSIONAL FOR THIS PART BECAUSE H. WAS KIND OF TOTAL SHIT.

tl;dr: kathy and bob are asses and deserved to die. chris, dan, and aaron didnt deserve to die. liv and janitor deserved to live. i hate sherrif lund. i kind of dislike evan but still love him.

thNk you for listening t my rant bye bye

by : khel / micheal ^_^

[penguin--person]

omg almost forgot to ask.. 🖊 ramble about any one of ur ocs my friend

i was waiting for the perfect chance to answer this ask, when i got hit with a case of Thinking About The Character !!! and now i have !!!! so u get to hear me ramble about volkov's fucked up father/son(/daughter/pet/pest) relationship w nina

ok so like. goddd. ok. im listening to eat shit and die by harley poe and it sparked this sudden burst so u get to blame that song for this

these 2 are both pafl ocs: volkov is a scientist, and nina is a mutant. her mutation is that shes born dead but still lives, kinda !! like... if you dont take proper care of her, shes gonna decay and rot and die for real. she has little control of her body, little understanding of whats going on - though, the latter one isnt due to her mutation, its due to no one explaining anything to her!!! if volkov talked her through things, told her what things mean, etc, shed be far more aware of her surroundings than she is

volkov sooo badly wants to be the Right Man. he wants to be the husband that hes expected to be to marya, he wants to be the father hes expcted to be to nina !! he wants to fulfill the expectations that Society has set upon him. he so so badly wants to do things right. but he cant !!! both he and marya are gay, neither know it. he proposes to her after she gets pregnant, she accepts, but leaves him a few months after that bc she realises she doesnt want her kid to have him as its father. she dies in childbirth, though, and ninas a mutant !! so volkovs fucked !!!! he cant even be the right ex-husband !!!!

but he can still be a father !!! maybe not a good one, but he can take care of nina, he can take care of his awful, idiotic dissapointment of a son, and he'll be doing things right then !!! so, like. for 14 years he dedicates his entire life to taking care of nina at the facility. making sure that shes not terminated, that shes not put through any too-dangerous experiments, that no one but him can hurt her, basically.. and he thinks hes doing things right !!!! hes taking care of her !!! shed be dead without him !!! hes being a father. but she doesnt even know that hes her daddd he never tells her shit. she thinks hes just her caretaker

he tells her goodnight stories sometimes, tells her about his day, explains bits and pieces of the experiments, is gentle when he helps her get dressed !!! gets her plushies sometimes. rarely, but still, treats her like he'd treat her if she was his son - but she never will be !!! even if she was human, even if she could live like one, she wouldnt be his son !! her genders freakish and grotesque. not exactly a tgirl but close enough. so its like. aighhhh g..

like !! he would die to keep her alive for just a moment longer !!! hed break all his bones just for her to breathe some more etc etc ... and he does !!!! thats how he dies, trying to give her a good life ... but he doesnt love her, he doesnt care about his son, not even his daughter, but about what nina Means !! what she symbolises !!! he wants to be a father, and she lets him be one. he doesnt care about her happiness - as long as shes there, breathing, hes a father. so hes doing something right. if she dies, hes fucked!!! his ex gf is dead, his kid is dead, hes got a shitty job, no friends, no family, nothing!!!!! this is his last chance to take his place in society !! its his fault, for the most part, but its like aughhhh . hes so AWFULLL i need to wring him out like a wet dishrag

when nina gets set for termination, he escapes with her !!! and starts treating her like an actual good father would !!! he asks her what shed like to wear, listens to music with her, tries to get her opinion on what he feeds her !!!!! for the first time in her 14 years of life, volkov is being a good father. its so alien to her that she becomes convinced that its not volkov whos taking care of her !! someone has replaced him, something has posessed him, its Not Him. she tries to kill him, but bc of her mutation, fails !! her muscles are too weak n stuff ... but volkov sees that she wants to kill him, that she wants him dead, that these past 14 years have been for nothing, that hes nothing, hes never been a father, never will be, he fucked up !!!! and finishes the job for her . they then rot together for however long it takes for someone to find their corpses

ITS SOOO !!! HE FUCKED UPPP SO BADDD AND HE DOESNT EVEN LOVE HER !!! NO FATHER'S LOVE IN HIM !!!!!! he put her through 14 shitty years, treated her 'as they both deserved', because This Is What A Father Is Supposed To Do !!!!! aughghghggg !!!!!he doesnt knowww that you dont vivisect your kids ... he doesnt knowww ... aughhh . it all could have so easily been avoided. but it never could have been, because this is who he is !!! HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT HER !!!! he doesnt care that SHE wants him dead, or even that HE or IT wants him dead, he cares that his life as a father is over !!!! he fucked up, he didnt do the right job !!!! he cares that he cant lie to himself anymore !!!!! he let things stay the same for 14 years and then struggled to understand why everything was rusted, decaying !!!!!!! hes fuckeddd

and like, he DOES want to be a good father, he DOES want to be a good husband, a good person !!! but its like !!! its more about Appearing that way ??? as long as he does whats expected of him, hse fine , yknow ??? aughhh . voklovvvv speak to me volkov . im yapping but im joyous . hes too obsessed with what nina represents in his mind that he fails to see her as her own person, with her own thoughts and desires, until its too late !!! until she cant be convinced that hes capable of gentleness !!!!! her attempt at killing him is the first real choice she makes in her life, and its sooo fucking ... AUGHGHGHHGHHH!!!!!! I HATE THE FLOOR!!!!!!! aouwuwughhhh

[spiderlegeyelashes]

i'm being a wet diaper about friendship warning

how do you say to someone "it feels weird to me that you can talk to me about your friends for hours to the point that i know almost everything about them even though i've never met them, yet they have never even heard my name. of course i explain it to myself that ooooh u just like talking to me so u tell me all about them because u want to, and u dont feel the need to tell those other friends about such things, but eh. you are doing everything right, you are very nice to me, but the longer i spend time with you the more i feel like supporting cast, like a friend side character. it feels like ur living a show over there with those people and i'm just the friend on the phone that makes an appearance a few times a season just to play the role of a friend. and this isn't to say that i doubt your feelings toward me, i know you care about me and you like me and you do want to spend time with me, ur life is just happening over there now, in this endless cicle of thrill chasing and rich kids and i'm not very exciting to you. nothing wrong with that. but i can't remember a single thing you like about me that is mine. what i know you like about me are the things i say and how much i love my friends(?i don'tget it but u said that), you really do value my opinion a lot, and of course that is all very sweet in it's own way, but these are all things that exist in relation to our friendship. what do you even like about me that has nothing to do with other people? and i realised i'm drawing a blank. over the last months i've felt so pathetic around you, i don't feel like a real person worth liking outside of what they can do for you, and it's driving me insane. especially since you're doing nothing wrong. you are very kind to me, you try to do all the right things, you really do put a lot of effort into talking to me and reassuring me sometimes that you do respect me and whatever but there is still something that makes me feel small and pathetic around you. something in your face, something in your actions, something in your tone. i'm glad i still make you happy, but i do not make you particularly excited anymore. you even said it yesterday, you said something about how the things i have going on or the things we do together aren't exciting to you so you don't really talk about me with anyone. and there's nothing inherently wrong with that, you just care about me in a different way. but i just feel like an old toy. i think we are too close, i dont think you are the type of person i'd want to let in this close, and it sucks because i know you do really care for me, and i care about you, but i cannot bare feeling like plain bread or an old toy. i need to find people who genuinely like ME again, most of the ones i knew either moved away, or we lost touch, or they simply changed, and i think i'm going a little insane. i feel a little bad for feeling this way because last time i let it be known i felt really bad with something you were awfully hurt that i'd even think you could possibly be so mean, and i know you meant it. i don't know what to do or say. you make me feel small, i'm really sorry" ? <- because definitely not like that.

[blamemma]

thank u for the tag @semperama 😌 any opportunity to talk about my favourite thing! books! 😌

An estimate of how many physical books I own: where i live currently i have 132 physical books, but i also have some in storage and some in my parents house, so i would guess maybe about 220-250 maybeeee

Favorite author: i really don't have a stand out author...authors who have published my favouriteeee ever books have then produced really lackluster other works in my opinion....i feel like someone who never lets me down is ottessa moshfegh because u get what u get with her but i don't think i'd claim her as an outright favourite??

A popular book I've never read and never intend to read: truly anything by colleen hoover i am all for big popular books that get a large specific audience reading again, but we can do better by young girls and get them reading something sliiiightttllyyyy better (not shitting on anyone who enjoys colleen hoover, again they cater to a specific market and i think thats great, just not my cup of tea, but from what i've heard she's got a couple of questionable opinions)

A popular book I thought was just meh: normal people! :)) god it bored me sooooooooo much which is a shame cause the tv show slaps

Longest book I own: a suitable boy by vikram seth, 1474 pages!!!!!!!! and i read it in two weeks during the height of covid lockdown and it was EXCELLENT

Longest series I own all the books to: probably game of thrones....never been a massive series gal so yeah thats the only one i can think of off the top of my head?

Prettiest book I own: i have a really beautiful collection of charles dickens' books even though i'm not his biggest fan at all (loved david copperfield, enjoy a christmas carol, have read great expectations) but they were a gift and they do look really pretty on my shelves at my parents house!

A book or series I wish more people knew about: urmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm okay not to like talk about it again.............but at swim two boys............it was highly applauded when it was first published and was very popular but feel like it's popularity waned but its got two boys trying to resist falling in love and choosing to spend time together by learning to swim in the cold dublin sea.......the tumblr girlies would eat that up nowadays......also bewilderment by richard powers i think everyone should read that book 😌

Book I'm reading now: briefly, a delicious life by nell stevens....only about 50 pages in so far but good fun, a sapphic ghost love story from what i can tell so far so intriguing....

Book that's been on my TBR list for a while but I still haven't got around to it: the fifth season by n.k. jemisin.....tried reading it but wasn't in a sci-fi mood so only got one chapter in and then it has just.....sat there......for like.....two years......

Do you have any books in a language other than English: no and i am ashamed.....

Paperback, hardcover, or ebook?: paperback anyyyyyyyyyyy day of the week let me BREAK that spine let me make you look worn and loved and read let me chuck you into my bag and u barely add any weight!!! i dont hate a hardback but avoid buying them unless it is a book i am DESPERATE to read asap or it's at a good price but yeah i am a paperback girlie <3 don't own an e-reader apart from having the kindle app on my ipad so v rarely venture into e-books and i am sorry but nothing beats the feel of a book in ur hands like i need to feeeeel the pages

tagging @gokartkid @monagasque @lilyrizzy & @karlmarxverstappen if u would like xx

[sparkiekong]

u seem like the peacful sort. can I ask u something not related to ur story but to sims? why do people get upset when certain sims get made over and dont have their "culture" item?

Just curious. thx. sorry to bug u.

Hi.

Thanks for thinking of me as peaceful. I try really hard to not get involved in a lot of drama and stuff like that. I'm glad it shows and glad you felt like you could ask me a tough question.

I think and this is just my opinion.... the game NPCs that folks get with the game that have cultural/religion items are seen as sacred. People see the NPCs with their items and feel like those items are sacred and special and they define the NPC and in turn, I think that is a comfort to players who ALSO have cultural/religious items that are a part of their lives. When others take those items away from the NPCS in game, it may feel like an offense to those who find cultural/religious items important and they ARE important to people and ARE important for us to learn about and grow as sentient beings.When those items in a game are taken away, it is a reminder of the struggles those people have in their real life when other people don't accept their culture or religion as valid or acceptable.

There's a difference between culture and religion too, but that's a whole other kettle... You asked about the items, so we'll cover those.

Back to topic... I don't agree with how some folks handle themselves when someone has a different vision for an NPC. Being aggressive, hateful and pounding people with negativity into the dirt isn't ok. I don't know when that became acceptable to do, but in my humble opinion it's not ok. There are better and less aggressive ways to deal with everything... I don't think anything needs to be fought with such negativity. Peace, patience and calm loving understanding are the way to changing the worldview as a whole.

I think sometimes folks forget that these are game assets that were made up on the fly and provided to us with very little in the way of description. A single paragraph cannot fully teach someone the complexity and wonders of a culture or the mysteries of a religion. At the end of the day, these game assets are provided to us so that we can explore a story for that character and maybe go for a deeper dive into that culture on our own to learn more... to grow. To be better.

The sims has always been about exploring life and let's face it... sometimes people fall away from their religion, sometimes they have to adapt their cultural beliefs and meld them into another's for many many different reasons. Sometimes... it's not all sunshine and unicorn rainbows... people lose faith, people find new faith, people adapt, and move into another culture for a myriad of reasons. The sims franchise was made to explore that with these game assets in our own ways with all of our own special and unique differences.

Everyone is different and we should celebrate that... not hate it. I hope that answers things, sorry it's so long winded. I hope you have a good day.

[heroictoonz]

not going to comment on the ramcoa stuff? yeah thought not.

Crazy how I have a life and a job and didn't give a shit to respond to u when I'm busy n only scrolly tumblr idly but since u clearly got a thing for me ill bite cause you also need my opinions reexplained to you like a child

Also I googled ramcoa cause I didn’t know what that word means (i also didnt know what endo meant till like earlier this fuckin year cause everyone was being very loud and annoying about it) and all I got was "RAMCOA is an acronym for Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse." which like. what the FUCK are you even talking about mind control? fucking ORGANIZED ABUSE this is like classic cult aligned shit how does this even relevant to endos and that stuff. please tell me this is a word or acronym for something else that google isnt telling me cause just genuinely huh

listen i took a look at the link u sent i dont wanna post that cause i dont want ppl harassing others on the internet like you seem to want but just for the love of fuck listen to me for two seconds like honest to god read my words and let them sink in

the post you sent me i have literally no context for to me it looks like a shit post. ive made jokes like that before and i need to reiterate that they are JOKES and i am NOT ENDO and i say shit for goofs cause to me and my friends its funny. whether it is or is not a joke is, honestly, not my business. I dont know that person personally i dont know their life i dont know their story so i dont set it as my mission to find people i dont agree with and flip my shit at them. again. life. job. no interest. im 24 and literally not my job to babysit other ppl on the internet i block who i dont like follow who i do and live on w my life (which. highly recommended for all. you too Chuck. makes life so much more livable)

in regards to ur stuff about misinformation the way I see it is people will spread bullshit about just about every topic under the sun. it is, once again, not my job to go around "um actually" everything on the internet. if someone asks me a question i answer if someone im directly talking to has wrong information i try to correct them

When it comes to a lot of people, however, not many of them want to change their minds on things. sometimes some people arent even at a point of their life to be open minded and listen. which, im not gonna stress myself out to correct someone else. Even i had a point in my life where i was so hardheaded and full of hate (it was a weird cringe culture group i was in and didnt think for myself and honestly i caused a lot of damage in that time of my life and even now I regret it. But man thats life. And like if i try to correct and if they dont listen i go okay and dip after a point (which, for you. is prob gonna be here. cause im gonna say all my thoughts here and be done with this conversation honestly also work is suuuuuper busy rn like fr wish me luck w this summer season sobs) theres a part of me that hopes you will either see reason with this reply and chill out or you will continue to disagree with me but at least for both of our sanity stop messaging me either way i wont be replying again to you just so you are aware

now im just gonna be so fucking blunt here. do i believe endo is a thing? (ie: people can be systems without trauma) honestly? i dont know! here is how i see it; im not a medical professional. I have an interest in psychology i have a copy of the dsm5 cause im a nerd (its with my law books. again. im a nerd.) but im no scientist. at the same time; i dont really trust medical professionals all that much? i would like to. really i would. but it always feels like so many of them dont take the time to actually try with diagnosis. too many people of color or fat people and shit like that always say that they are constantly misdiagnosed or ignored due to predigests. again, because i was born a girl i was never diagnosed properly when i was a kid. this happened twice actually! and even then ive had to deal with doctors and therapists who dont believe me even WITH a formal diagnosis to my name. ive had a therapist tell me that i DIDNT have bpd because i was, in her words, "too nice" and she refused to start me on cbd insisting the doctor was wrong. its scary as fuck honestly. plus, like i said in the last post, mental health is so under researched. which is also so scary to me. theres so much that doctors dont know. that WE dont know. theres so much that doctors get wrong. sometimes cause theyre only human and sometimes cause they willfully ignore patients.

so, the way i see it, is that maybe you can have a system without trauma or maybe you cant. i dont know personally and where i stand i dont know how much credit i would put to research done on a mental disability that is still to this day so disgustingly stigmatized and viewed as dangerous or scary. ive seen split. i know david haller (i like david haller but also every time i think about the live action show or how they really treat him as a character i sob in my little heart every fuckin day man fr) so to me i chalk it up to 'fuck if i know' and move on.

The other thing is that since i personally am not an endo in my head i also have no evidence to form a hard opinion on this at all. Again, my system DID come from trauma. In fact, for most of the system mates i can pinpoint exactly which traumas and/or parts of my life they came from (some i dont but i am also pretty sure im missing a very large chunk of my middle school memories so who the fuck knows) but honestly. if you have a hard opinion on the yes or no here thats fine youre intitled to your own opinion ig

but you shouldnt harass people on the internet or accuse them of being fake. this is what my problem is with anti-endos.

This has also been my like, whole side of this conversation. Which is why im really begging you to listen and read my words cause i very much think you are reading me wrong here. I literally couldnt give less of a shit about your personal opinion on this kinda stuff. Like i dont know you were not friends you’re a random anon on the internet. You disagreeing with me does not phase me one bit. I clearly have stuff to say but thats just cause i talk a lot and like to share my thoughts more than anything else. Honestly. You can send me a like one sentence question and ill accidentally reply with an essay. Have you SEEN the rants ive been on lmaooo

What does frustrate me, is that you feel the need to harass people and accuse people of faking stuff for attention with NO fucking thought. When you sent your first anon i can only assume its cause i reblogged my friend Wendy’s post about endos and syscourse (i hate syscourse so much but MAN that is a good fucking play on words it almost makes me mad lol) you asked if i had did/osdd and i said yes and you IMMEDIATELY went into my asks and accused me of being 1) an endo and 2) faking for attention despite that neither of those can be inferred by my answer especially when i 1) never once said I WAS endo personally (because. Again. Not) and 2) i specifically explained in my first response (thinking u were just a good natured random) that while, yes, i am a system, i dont talk about it very openly or much at all only vaguely mentioning it here n there on my personal blog when i feel the need or want on a specific topic (like when i made a joke post about being a system and watching RvB and the Meta who is this character that has a buncha AI crammed in his head). If anything, it makes you more fuckin wrong cause me NOT mentioning being a system almost ever shows more to the light that im NOT focusing on wanting attention or shit like that if anything i think i make more jokes about being autistic and trans. Are you gonna accuse me of being fake trans and fake autistic just for attention? Because i talk about it more? No, cause that would make like zero sense. (Unless u want to ig tho honestly i think being called a fake trans would be so funny as anon hate like genuinely that would make me snort i think. Guy who uses he/him and openly talks about having periods and shit like that accused as fake trans rguireghrhuigr)

To me, at least, you have already proven that your ideology is flawed. Your method of pointing out ‘fakes’ and ‘attention seekers’ is just really nonsensical. Either that or you do honestly have the reading comprehension of a five year old. The oooonly reason i could maaaaaybe see you thinking im ‘attention seeking’ is when I vaguely mentioned in the tags of that first post that I had a system specific blog however i also 1) do not advertise it nor did i put the name of it on that post OR ask you to follow it and 2) admitted that its barely ever used. Again, still making no sense to your accusation

And like, honestly, at the end of the day, accusing people you dont know on the internet just by random posts they post or terminology they identify with for being fake is just so, in your own words, gross. You dont know these people’s lives. You dont know what they’ve been through. Again, completely ignoring whether you can or cannot have system without trauma my original long response talked about how the person identifying as endo might actually have trauma and not know/recognize it as such and by harassing them you are only making everything worse for them. You LITERALLY do not know these people. You dont know me and you made that very clear when you were so crushingly wrong about me by literally just the second anon you sent.

As someone who deals with the anxiety and fear that i am secretly a fake and dont know it, not just about being a system but like. A SHIT ton of stuff in my life, it does not help when random fucking people come accusing me of that exact fear. Going back to that therapist who tried to tell me she didnt think i had bpd it took me SO FUCKING LONG to accept i did in fact have bpd after that. And it was fucking painful to deal with mentally. When every sign in the motherfucking book pointed to YES i have this thing but all it took was ONE woman with a degree to tell me i was ‘too nice’ and suddenly my world fell apart. I no longer felt like i had a name to the feelings and thoughts i was suffering from. Dude that shit SUCKS it is SO painful and stressful. Like literally, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not inflict that on others. You might think youre bringing justice in some weird way but theres a higher chance that you are hurting people just as much as you seem to think endos cause hurt.

Now, because i know you SO DESPERATELY wanna know my opinion on the post you sent in the unanswered ask, honestly? I dont know how much i agree with that persons post. Like. Playing in the field of maybe that was an honest to god opinion and not just like a joke they were making, really not sure how i feel about it. In my opinion, i wouldn’t be running around trying to get my brain to spawn in more little fuckers to deal with. But i also have a lot of mixed feelings about being a system and my headmates. For one i dont get along with all of them, and not all of them get along with each other. Shits really annoying and in some extreme cases stressful as fuck. Every time something new pops into existence, I’ll be real, im kinda scared. I dont know how things will once again change or shift. And my head is just a single head. Its one brain that now has to deal with so much going on i get a lot of headaches and dissociate sometimes even in the middle of doing things or talking to people cause shit will just randomly become chaos (tho im sure other mental things attribute to all that too here n there idk) but I wouldn’t say i hate being a system. I also dont think id ever wanna do that like fuse therapy shit and get rid of the others. Both out of a fear of losing myself and a fear of losing some of them. That shit sounds kinda scary to me. And where, yeah theres some that i dont get along with, there are others that i do get along with! And love a lot! I jokingly call some of them my siblings cause a lot of them have been around since i was a little kid (tho ill admit for a while I thought i just had a REALLY strong imagination and that for some reason my imaginary friends kept talking to me even as an adult till i finally realized hm. Maybe this is not the case. Lol) so like ya you’ll never see me honest to god saying ‘man i wish i had MORE random bastards in my head’ but like, thats just me

I’ve met so many systems and a lot of them are different. I’ve met some that WANT to fuse (i dont think thats the word they use for that therapy but i just got home from a stressful 8 hours on The Grind so I can’t think words all too well lol) ive met people that LOVE being a system people who hate it people who are pretty indifferent to it. I’ve met systems who are have a different person fronting every day ive met systems where you almost never see or hear from the others and its just primarily the host that takes charge. So many different people feel differently about the same things. That’s just life. But I am not gonna use ONE post randomly shown to me to 1) make an assumption on someone (especially something as harmful as faking) or 2) as a valid reason to harass them. Especially not when the person showing the post to me has only acted hostile towards me. Like honestly. Genuine tip here, being rude and mean to people is not how you try to change their minds or try to educate them on something. Walking into my house and telling me im the fake hedgehog just cause of one post and one answered ask and then trying to tell me im wrong is like so not the way my guy fr

I’m pretty sure ive said my entire peace on the matter here. So yeah, again if you send me any more anons i wont be answering them. I’m saying this just to try and save you some time and also some peace of mind. Honestly, please block me. Please forget my existence and go live your life. Its honestly worrying how you have now spent like two days in my anons about this shit, like i am not even joking like the joke is over please please please finish reading this, block me, and go watch one of your favorite comfort movies and smile i mean this so seriously

[junibugs]

Hi bae so im sorry for coming like this but i need to know your opinion on some tea that's been going on in my love life for the past months. So, I study engineering. That's how I met my TA. Im in second year of university, he is in his final year, and he is around three or four years older than me. I dont wanna bore you with the details, thing is, we began talking and stuff. You could say we are in kind of a situationship rn. Its my first time doing this kind of thing with anyone (both in a romantic and sexual way) and I dont really know if i should do it with him and give him my virginity and stuff. Althouh it would be a good anecdote, i'm scared i'll end up hurt. Mostly because he gives me so many mixed signals. Sometimes I feel like he cares about me, and sometimes I feel like he is just interested in my body. Recently, he had a talk with me saying he couldnt offer me anything serious because he wanted to finish his career, he had work, his family, among other things, so he couldnt offer me as much time as he wished he could. He has been very direct and honest, but i still dont know if i should continue this thing we have going on, cuz he wants to begin sexual activity and i dont know if i should share that with him yet. For some reason, i just cant trust him, even tho he constantly reassures me and has given me no reason not to trust him ... anyway, thank you for listening girl! Ily, have a great day/night <3

very very glad you're already so self aware. you know he's giving u vibes that he don't want anything serious, and recognizing that is so important. him saying that is also respectful to you and your time so you know his intentions.

virginity is such a touchy subject, and ultimately very subjective. if your virginity is something important and sacred to you, then don't let your intentions with that falter for a man that don't wanna be with you. but if it's not the most important thing to you then do your big one and have fun and get dicked down!

it honestly probably might end in hurt either way but that doesn't make it a bad ending it just makes it a learning experience. any experience is good if you learn from it. whatever decision you make i will stand ten toes behind u baby.

and imma have a big sister moment rq before i have a friend moment. big sis in me says no, you know better n deserve better. but the friend in me says fuck it!!! have ur fun, do your shit, you live you learn you grow and never have regrets. regardless i'm here for you and there is no wrong decision to make

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

actually in the light of the last ask, have u ever found that recognizing something in a rationalistic way rather than letting ur spirit recognize it as an outside energy or spirit kind of, isolates it from the outside energy taking away its power, but at the same time takes away the power of any spiritual means of healing or affecting it? I feel like rationalized understanding like science and psychology is slowly isolating us from outside powers, taking away the influence of outside powers over us for good and for bad

hmm :3c i feel complicated about this.. Because i believe a huge tenant of psychic feeling is Logic, as intuition is logic in it's purest unfiltered form, and without the anchor of rationality how could we decipher messages of spirit? like there has to be something of material reference to channel the ethereal in a way that lends it'self to human understanding. Or you'll just be floating in a soup of ether all day long with no way to utilize it. and there's nothing wrong w that but it does not lend itself to aiding society unless it is brought down to earth.

so i don't find science to be inherently dubious althought i feel that in current society there is an over reliance on "data", and the need to fit everything into a box. over-categorization. people really believe in data. this don't sit right with me. especially when it comes to psychology. if you;re using math to build a road or like, a fucking airplane lol, then yes science is helpful, procedures ought to be followed precisely. but when it comes to the human mind & spirit, psychology & reliance on psychological "data" is not sound IMO.

and i take psychiatric medication too at times, which does help me cope with the conditions of living here on earth. however i know in my heart these conditions that cause me such dread go far beyond my own 'mental health' it is a spiritual sickness in society. if society were truly benevolent i would not need to do this. so i think you can acknowledge & recognize that the world is sick, while still being a psychiatric patient lol. does that make sense.. i dont know. sometimes i feel guilty that i take medication and struggle to feel Ok naturally but at the end of the day i feel everything that happens in my life has it's reasons. and i don't feel spiritually weak in any way.

however back in my youth i felt so weak when i was on ssris, those were the worst for me. also benzos make me instantly suicidal i've never been able to take a benzo with out mutilating myself physically. some substances i feel are more dangerous than others and it varies person to person. i know you said psychology in your message not necessarily psychiatry but i feel they are one in the same atm...like no one's Just getting diagnosed to put a name to their mental/spiritual state, people get diagnosed so they can find the /correct/remedy/.

this is just my opinions ofc..i feel there is a balance of understanding + putting a name to things + teaching / letting things Be + Flow + inner guidance. nothing is black & white, in material or in spirit. thats my thoughts ^-^ thanks for sending messages like this cus i have no one to talk about it with. <3 PMD9

[hyunverse]

ik it’s so embarrassing 💔💔 i remember that week being not the best so maybe i was just emotional in general ?? idek 😭. i also cry over fluff more than angst. i read angst when i’m like at a rly low point bc it’s almost kinda comforting ……. idk dw bae i sound insane rn too ! we pretty much have the same favorite cereal bc if i had to choose i’d get the chocolate rice crispy ones (or honey nut cheerios) and i LOVEEEE milo. my nana from australia always sends it over and it’s delishhhh. so nostalgic. YES spanakopita is life, it is so so so so good. lmk what you and your mom end up getting ^_^ that sounds so fun i love eating w ppl

ITS THE HYUNE BODY ROLLING SO TRUE. i like when he dances with short sleeves or sleeveless tops bc the arm muscles just make me 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 insane !!! i’ve been wanting to watch a new movie so maybe i’ll watch howl now ^_^ i’ve heard a TON about it and i think you just fully convinced me hehe. do you have any other movie or show recs ?? i’m not a big movie or show person but im tryingggg to watch more stuff so tell me any of your faves

oh yea i could slander america as a professional job. like don’t get me wrong i’m extremely grateful to live somewhere where i can get a good education and just like survive but at the same time … i’m barely surviving ?? all our money goes to stuff that doesn’t even benefit us ??? idk man i’ll keep going if i don’t stop myself BUT YES PLS all the mcflurries 🙏🏼. possible unpopular opinion but oreo mcflurry dipped in fries = chefs kiss. it’s an underrated combo fr

i would pay MONEYYYY to experience one skz dance practice but hyunjins alone oh my oh my oh myyyyy. i don’t think i’d survive, his clinging would be ineffective bc i’d just be 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠. smth about the way he dances just GAHHH. YES CONFIDENT MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE YONGBOK he’s so cute 😭😭😭😭 i love his korean name it’s adorable

i watched the live when i woke up this am and it was the cutest thing ever <///3. felix looked so bf and i swear the There music video made it WORSEE. the parasocial vibes rly smacked me in the face and said grace u need to wake up and accept you can’t have these men 😔

spamming once again gahhhh can u tell i’m bored <///3. im stuck inside for another day bc nyc is having a rly bad snow storm rn and it’s torturous lol. as much as i love being in my bed all day, it gives me a raging headache every timeeeee

- 🐈‍⬛ kisses 4 uuuuu i hope ur sleeping well ^_^

i've never tried honey nut cheerios but now i kinda want to?? lets see lets see. going back to my campus this saturday so i gotta stock up on my food stock 🫡 i'm gonna try honey nut cheerios hehe. milo is good but i can't drink it that much bcs its best mixed with milk and im lactose intolerant </3 i mean i do consume dairy anyway but milo and milk is a deadly combination. one sip and you're gonna end up with diarrhea. even worse when u have lactose intolerance. god lactose intolerance sucks so bad, especially when i love dairy </3 life is a war game and the toilet is my battle field. </3 aaa me and mumsies ended up not getting breakfast bcs we didnt wake up on time LOLL love that 4 us 🤞

sleeveless tops on hyune always look so good. his arms are so nice, the type that isn't frail nor too muscular, he's just nice. dont get me started on his hands yo his hands are pretty big too and his fingers?? majestic. slender and pretty. makes me dizzy just watching it 😵‍💫howl is incredibly good, u reaaaaaally need to watch it <3!! mmm for tv shows, i really like gilmore girls and jujutsu kaisen. or if you like romance, u shud try out horimiya!!

I UNDERSTAND ABT THE MONEY THING... malaysian road taxes r no joke. youngsters going broke frm paying taxes is CRAAAZY. fries dipped in vanilla ice cream is so good so i get u!!!!! it's the mixture of sweet and salty 🤌

when hyunjin does a lil smirk while dancing... im frothing drooling melting. like bae stop i will get through this phone screen and kiss u 😭 so pretty. YONGBOK IS SO CUTE AND YES HIS NAME!! I LOVE WRITING HIM AS YONGBOK BCS I LOVE HIS NAME SM... i also love jeongin's name. it's cute and suiting for him.

the live c hdbhs i was fixated on seungmin the whole time... was just staring at him dreamily like... 💭 he made a mess but i's ok bcs it's seungmo!!

THE THERE MV OH MY GOD GRACEEEEEE. I'LL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT. HYUNJIN AND SEUNGMIN'S PART GOT ME GIGGLING!!1 also can i just say that the settings suit them so much? it feels like it's actually their ideal date. jeongin with the shopping for clothes, hyunjin with the camera and channie in the studio... it makes so much sense. omg what if it IS their ideal date? bye im gonna combust. why are they parasocializing with us!! its making the delusions worse!!!

talking abt parasocializing, felix needs to calm down. bro was wiping at his mouth and stuff r u indicating that we just made out?!?! not very pg13 of him. i heard he spams om bubble too 😭 he needs to find a gf his bitchless behavior is getting worse 😟

ur spam is always entertaining so dw!! i take my time with it always cs i wanna put thought in my words hehe. sorry to hear abt the storm :(( i hope ure staying warm <3

[fungalwarp]

this is a mix of an old post that never made it here and some new stuff bc atp this is just kinda funny to me, then imma drop it bc it's also just so boringggg

but im gonna put this here bc ik this loser is still stalking my acct and whatnot, so my final piece or w/e

-"Dont even think abt my sister/talking shit abt my family😡😡" couldnt care less abt ur fuckass sister or family. i cared when they were sticking their noses in shit by sending messages or checking our accounts because?? get a life??? i dont choose to think abt any of u, ever, and would celebrate the day i completely forget abt u

-"YoU wEnT tO mY mOmMy" yeah because we were fed up. because there is a message where you admit you sent at least one thing, along with a vile message from a burner account that mentioned the exact same shit u did in dms, and a whole tumblr with my bf's full name that only families and you knew him by. at least three seperate instances that can be directly tied to you and only you. whether that was you or someone in your system doesnt change that it isnt okay in any degree. it being from a disorder doesnt create a free pass and if you cant keep it in check yourself, someone else needs to be involved. also the screenshot i sent your mother of your dm didnt meantion 'headmates' anywhere, as far as i was ever informed everyone mentioned there was a real person. nothing on there explicity point to DID, i didnt out that

-"he's 27 he should be able to deal with some anon hate" this isnt anon hate. this is repeated harrassment. this is someone implying my mental health is someone's responsibility, and then getting mad when I buy cats that I begged him to let us get and when he's gifted a pc. and i only bring those up bc those are two things you mentioned directly to me along with those being in a vile message from a burner that also implies his father's passing was his fault in any way. that is deranged and subhuman to do and i stand by it. because absolutely nothing justifies a reaction like that. along with an entire tumblr containing his first name and legal last name. something only a small amount of ppl know both of. that account was a recent one too, we have pictures that are time stamped!! so once again, yes, i did send those to ur mother! she should know what vile shit is being sent and that you need serious help

-"Id never go to ur mom!!!" i dont care. if it reached a point of genuine concern when it comes to mental stability, i would hope someone would. ive had people contact my mother over things ive done and i hold 0 resentment bc it helped me in the long run

-"you told someone to kill themselves online😡😡" yeah... i do it a lot... youve heard me do it.... if someone is gonna come into my space and get triggered abt a joke i make w my consenting partner, i will tell them to end it. bc they rlly should. i genuinely believe if ur life is that sad it probably would be better off just ended. what abt it. i dont say it to random ppl for no reason. i say it to people who think i care abt their opinions when it comes to a harmless aspect of my life. oh no, sue me

-"I probably have bpd and i dont run around saying i for sure do" do u have a formal diagnosis for DID? if not then that shouldnt have any standing either. but if we suddenly dont care abt that, yeah i talked to two professionals, both of which agreed i was very likely borderline and one of which is qualified to diagnose but-like my autism-said while i do match criteria it isnt going on my record bc of the walls it can put up in life and they gave me resources before i moved to help w my disorder. and as someone who claims to probably have it, u dont seem to understand how easily it alters ur mood and view on ppl 🤨

-this is a repeated thing and a couple things at once but ur obsession with 'real' names for both humans and animals is just weird and you should probably talk to someone about that. god forbid we have fun with the name we give two cats and ourselves bc we dont live with a stick in our ass? and then ur need to go after his art is wild as if 1) art isnt subjective 2) u have any room to talk abt art skills

[onmymasa22]

Is it normal that when a professor asks u on a test u take at 3am what ur opinion is on an artist who made grotesque works, that u think he's ok, but u wouldn't want a huge sculpture of a naked pantsed man made out of faulty bullets in ur living room cuz it just doesn't go with ur color scheme...

Go travel and photograph the world. I dont want to make people envious of my life. I want people to feel like they are loved.

I came across a video of someone making candles. And a rush of memories went through me. I was in the mountains in California the summer after highschool working at a camp. I was running an activity for candle making. And i fell in love with it. The suitcase i brought home probably had 20 long havdalah candles in it. A lifetime supply, in colors like purple, red, yellow, blue. Today i remembered telling a friend all those years ago that honestly all i wanted in life was to live in tzfat, wear those elephant pants, and make candles all day.

Its the one place where its easy to listen to myself. Like everywhere in life, im self concouse. And the things im most self conscious aboit, others love the most. Amd i cant see the beauty in it. But when i paint, i love my own mistakes. I see beauty in the me, just being me. I see what i feel others must see. Because its just me and the painting. Its a very intimate relationship. And every painting serves a different relationship. I just have a love affair with art.

I dont always listen to myself. And most of the time i prefice what i say with "i think...", instead of "i know". But my relationship with art is special. I can listen to myself. I like the mistakes because they're mine, and they are the proof that i tried.

Some conversations are beneath you. When people want to talk about things that

Tal

I think i might have a love affair woth art. I love many things, but sometimes it feels like painting loves me back. It accepts me fully, however i show up. Its a conversation- me and the canvas. it listens to everything i say abd everything i dont say. In a world that makes me constantly second guess myself or ignore me entirely, art lets me go with my intuition. Thats the feel many feel wirh the blank camvas. That theyll be wrong. And soending more time painting, ive learned to trust myself. Ive become more confident. And its the one place i can let myself just be.

Drugs effect fhe brain. So what i would say is- i dont want my kids to do drugs till 25. Wait till thr brain finishes then decide

We all need that friend who makes us soup when we're sick. That when we call and say our nose is like a fountain, she says "I'm making soup, come over", and you sit in her tiny kitchen, with mismatched everything, and talk out all your stress. The friend who, when u say ur stopping by, she puts up the kettle for coffee and has almond milk in the fridge just for you, because she knows you don't do dairy. The friend who is always willing to lend you her clothes or perfume, she just wants to know how your night goes in return. That you come, lay on the carpet in her room, and give her all the juicy details. The friend who plays happy music in the morning, but also will play rock and dance it out with u on her roof at midnight. The friend who lets you hug her for as long as you need. The friend who ends every phone call and meetup with "I love you". May we know her, may we be her.

I might not know ur name. Because i know ur soul, and thats what is important to me. I know whether u like coffee with real milk or fake. I remember what mug u chose s

Know that the mug u choose, is the mug ill remember

Im the kind of person who doesnt remember names. But ill remember ur dreams. Ill remember what ur siblings are up to and ask about them the next time u mention family. Ill remember whether u have coffee with cows milk or almond milk. Or whether u drink coffee or tea. Ill remember which mug u chose so the next time u come ill take a different one and give u that

Rain books museums tea music poetry acedimia letters art sweaters

start singing zemiros, and shalom aleichem gets stuck in ur head?

I want something about esther

Why

I want to do something witn the beacg. Where people can have headphones on and just speak. Like noone else is there with u. I want to be better with hitbonenut and hitbodedut. Just to be in any of these places and then to just go to the next. Places. Every place is just .

When u watch a clip of a movie and it looks like the sweetest romcom... so u look up what its rated and turns out its actually about cannibalism, and wikipedias explanation of the plot is too gory for u, cuz ur the kinda person who covers ur eyes in half of the disney tarzan movie... ALWAYS look up what movies are about, cuz they made a- silence of the lamb-esc movie look like- when harry met sally

cant get through disneys tarzan with the tiger without covering ur eyes

... and ur scared this is gonna be like the night u didnt sleep cuz u saw a documentary on sociopath psychology.

So entering year 4 of art school. And my parents are having the "so whats next for you" convo with me. Cuz ive been bouncing around with stuff just experiencing life. It's been a long chapter of me just going with my gut, and whatever idea hashem puts in my head. Since i got out of highschool, thats how my life has been. And its been great. Im always exactly where im supposed to be. And the "so whats next" is freaking scary. And i always know that my life has a way of working everything out. This past year, i did something ive done and yet never did before. I like old people, like a lot. But more than that, i like dealing with old people who are sick or have special needs. Its a small niche, i know, but its my niche. This past year, every sunday, i taught a cooking class in hebrew with another woman, to adults, between 20 and 90 with mental health issues. People who are on disability due to something issue with mental health or divergence- schizophrenia, bipolar, ocd, adhd depression, tourettes, mental slowness, dementia. And ive fallen inlove with it. I feel like not only has everything worked out, but hashem made everything stepping stones. My whole life has been stepping stones. And i guess its like- what do thise stepping stones look like. Every one is different.

Theres something special about people who let u just be. Where when u come over, they put the kettle up and ask if u want coffee or tea. Who let u just sit cuz u want a break from the world. Where u know that around them, its a safe space. I try to be that kind of person. And in me being that person, my dog comes into the room and i immediately turn on the airconditioning.

[mlynar-nearl]

heyup its anon back from that hell we call life and im just here to ask one very important question i have been stuck on for a while now: what is a good valentines day gift that isnt flowers (horrifyingly expensive) or chocolate (i just dont like them) ? answer however the hell you like man i ran out of people to ask

and yeaaaaah your reply to my prev ask totally reminded me why i dont care too much about the ak community actually its cos i dont wanna be in drama (unlike in genshin)

oh and get this, i was rushing lantern rite the other day (did it in 3 hours hehe) and using my nonexistent primos i won my 50/50 and got the big booba man like hell yeah now all i have left is kaveh (my beloved) and yes. maybe i will go back to genshin. if you play in asia i can drop my uid but im pretty sure ur a north america kinda person so like probs not

anyways didnt answer ur prev prev reply to one of my asks but like yeah they shlda made more people darker skinned in sumeru :/ kinda iffy that they aint ykyk like i live in southeast asia and my skins still darker than everyone in the cast lmao (okay maybe not everyone id say im on par w xinyan?) and it suuuuuuuucks but oh well mhy is just (insert thumbs down) anyways hope ur doing well lol u can throw in updates abt ur ocs too i havent had time to be on tumblr much lately thankiessssss

do NOT apologize lmao i love talking

imo, the best valentine's gift is one that's not too extravagant but a little personal. gift card to a store/place they like or somethin'. maybe i'm broke but i don't really do v-day even tho i'm in a relationship LMAO

i don't mind the ak community very much in terms of seeing cool gameplay and a lot of the few people who interpret lore and the few other fanfic authors in english floating out there that i've seen have been really cool and i do try to encourage other creators in the space. there are some exceptions as some things/tropes/opinions piss me off but i try to keep it posi.

i do play in NA on genshin and english global on ak :( but grats on the autism man, the superhero we needed AND wanted. my partner played genshin for a bit before i did and they sent me a picture of xinyan and went ash this looks like you. they aint fuckig wrong. colorism won today

as for ocs! i've been thinking about audie a normal amount* lately. i scribbled some stuff with him and encio and gnosis but lost it when my computer crashed :( there's some stuff i posted in my tag for him tho (which is "oc: audie") about them and their games of chess.

shealtiel DOES do this but he doesnt know why. me instigating a fight because the andoain is hot and i want him on me. also, i think that when he converses with andoain on the trail- because andoain knows he's being followed and just lets shealtiel do it and sometimes tries to chat with him, persuade him to stop being so furious- if andoain starts annoying him he turns off his hearing aids and leaves. turning off my hearing aids i don't want to hear you anymore. andoain has to live with knowing that shealtiel can put him on mute. shealtiel hopes it makes him fucking writhe.

[3liza]

speaking of balding, wondering if you have any aesthetic advice for ladies with hair loss, esp. in the typical "male" style (thinning temples and rising hairline). I'm 30, generaly negligent and apathetic doc says my bloodwork looks fine, no PCOS, low progesterone apparently. Scared to try rogaine because I already have insane facial and body hair that $1000s worth of electrolysis did not do much to eradicate.

Should I just commit to the shaved head & occasional wig for the rest of my life? Honestly considered transition lol but not feeling great about being a schlubby dude instead of a schlubby woman. What is the best aesthetic path? Primarily asking bc I deeply trust ur taste and opinions.

standard disclaimer, im not a doctor or a medical professional and all my advice is coming from a civilian without any credentials and is based solely on my own personal experience, observations and research.

since you mentioned doc said no PCOS i will assume youre AFAB, please correct me if i'm wrong since it does make a big difference with hair loss. lots of body hair + lots of face hair + male pattern baldness for cis afab women almost always means either PCOS or a similar hormonal issue. before trying anything else i would try to get a second opinion from a gyno and/or endocrinologist. because your doctor sounds like an idiot and also incurious and may also be reading your labs wrong or may have ordered not enough labs or the wrong labs. if nothing else i would try to get someone else to look at the lab results.

i dont know enough to tell you exactly which labs you need, but sometimes doctors are like fucking computers and will not actually perform the correct actions until you find the exact right way to phrase your request. in this case i would say to the doctor, firmly but politely, "my symptoms are hormonal and include male pattern baldness, hirsutism, and [anything else you think is relevant, including if you are above average height or weight, have a weird metabolism, and any menstrual pain or irregularities]. these symptoms negatively impact my quality of life and i am not willing to ignore them or just live with them. if my hormone levels are all normal, what else could be causing these problems? we need to test for those diagnoses. if you are not interested or qualified to pursue this issue for me, please refer me to a gynecologist or endocrinologist who can."

really punch that these issues are negatively impacting you and you arent able to function normally. feel free to "exagerrate" this part too, because when we live with chronic conditions we genuinely lose the ability to tell exactly HOW BAD things have gotten, because we get used to minimizing it and just going about our business, and doctors are almost never chronically ill and sincerely dont get it. they dont understand the complexity of subjective suffering.

a lot of doctors default to "the patient isnt actively bother me about this so they must not care that much" and theyre also really busy and will triage anyone who isnt actively getting their attention. don't let the appointment end without the doctor telling you exactly what the next step is and when it will occur, whether it's a lab order for tests, a day that someone will call you back or message you on MyChart, or a referral to another doctor. you are entitled to this information and care.

i think getting this medically checked out is of primary importance because it sounds systemic and not just about hair, but all the basic hair drugs are available on the grey market for not too much money. they all have various downsides but dutesteride and finasteride are both easy to get and try for yourself if you feel like it.

edit: i got so mad about doctors i didn't even answer your question. i think if it were me in your shoes (which it probably will be someday, like i said in the other post, hair loss comes for us all), if doctors and meds didnt work or didnt work well enough, i would probably shave my head and get some wigs for days when i didn't feel like being bald. there are GOOD, cheap wigs these days (haircube is one brand people really like but there are tons). and bald women look incredible

[corpsedaydream]

hi i love ur work so much and i had a request! corpse and reader are dating and she isn’t necessarily what fans think his type is. she isn’t really goth and doesn’t watch anime so when she sees corpse talking about e girls and goth girls and all that stuff she feels left out and like she isn’t who he wants to be with, and when he’s streaming with her (she’s also a youtuber), he’s like talking about an anime show and reader feels left out and the whole live chat is just saying how she doesn’t belong there and that corpse could do so much better ect. so she has a breakdown in the bathroom and he reads the comments about her and gets upset and defends her which ends with him cuddling the fuck out of her and kissing away her tears idk just angst with a fluffy ending please i’m desperate 😔✌️💗

ooooooooooof i put myself in all the feels writing this and now i’m meant to just go to sleep like i’m not feeling some type of way smh

but!!!!!!!! i like how it turned out hehe, hope u enjoy

word count: 1.5k

_________________________

beach baby

Your freckles were a lot more prominent lately, but that was always something that happened during this time of year when summer was quickly approaching. As much as you felt a little insecure by the the little marks that were dotted all over your body, it came hand in hand with the excitement of being able to do all of your favourite things that just felt better to do in summer.

You were a beach baby through and through. Growing up, you lived in the one house your whole life that was right by the beach and when your family went on holidays, it was always to a holiday house that was by another beach. You could swim before you could walk or talk. When you did learn how to walk, your parents realised they had to keep an extra close eye on you at the beach because you’d always run down to the waves, not realising the danger in your toddler years. When you watched The Little Mermaid for the first time, you begged your mother to turn you into a mermaid so you could live a life under the sea. When you were a kid getting picked up from school, your after school activity was going to the beach. Whenever the school swimming carnival rolled around, it was always you who got nominated to do the races. When you were a dramatic teenager and found out the boy you liked kissed someone else, you went to the beach and wrote his name in the sand just to watch it get washed away by the sea.

Your life had always involved the beach and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Whenever the idea of falling in love with someone popped into your mind, you always thought it would happen with the beach involved in some way. And there had been a few surfer boys you’d had flings with, but none stuck. They never really made an impact on you.

But Corpse had.

The two of you were an unlikely pairing, the absolute definition of opposites attract, but it worked.

You’d met at a mutual friends house by chance and there was an undeniable spark from that very first moment.

-

“Sitting under the moon is a lot better than the sun.” The two of you had found yourselves in a light hearted argument that very first night. After getting introduced and realising there was a pull between you both, he had eventually grabbed your hand and brought you to come sit up on the rooftop with him.

“What? No way, dude.” You shook your head and laughed, he was everything you weren’t but all you wanted. “The moon is so pretty,” You agreed with him, “but the sun makes you warm and it’s so pretty when the sky is all blue with a couple of cute, white fluffy clouds. That’s the perfect weather to be out and about.”

“If you like going out and about.”

“You don’t like going outside?”

“Nah,” Corpse hesitated, contemplating on how honest he should be with the girl he’d just met but was feeling so comfortable around. “I can’t handle the world sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. If someone came up to me and said you can spend your whole life under water as a mermaid but never be able to come back on land, I’d seriously consider.”

“Even after meeting me?” The tone shifted back to the playful flirting and you were grateful for it.

“Shut up and admire your moon.”

“I will, after all, the night sky is far superior.” He was holding firm in his opinion.

“I think it’s all really pretty.” You said honestly, and it was the truth. You were just as hypnotised by a moonlit sky with stars sparkling as you were with a daytime sky.

“I think you’re really pretty.”

He’d had your heart from that moment.

-

You’d actually gone to the beach today and spent a solid few hours there with friends and it had put you in such a blissful state. Making the drive to your boyfriends place so enjoyable, because you were also very excited to see him.

He’d left the door unlocked when you messaged him saying you were on your way. So when you arrived you let yourself in, shutting and locking the front door behind you, knowing Corpse was streaming and you were going to join him.

“Hi.” You whispered, opening the door to his office, not knowing if you should let your presence be known to stream yet. You always felt a little nervous when it came to his fans. The first time you joined him in a stream, all you could concentrate on was the amount of messages that stated how you were exactly wrong for Corpse. How you were the opposite to who he should be with. From there, it only progressed. You saw the hate comments and negative things that some of them had to say about you and it hurt.

“She’s here!” Corpse announced, so at least it was known to them that you would be joining him at some point, they had some warning and you hoped it meant you would receive a warmer welcome. “Hey, baby, get over here.” He opened his arms and you sat down on his lap, greeting him with a kiss before you both brought your attention back to his stream.

“Hi guys!” You greeted the stream, cautiously looking over the influx of messages, waiting for something negative but it seemed they were asking you about something. “I can see you guys asking, but I don’t really know what you’re talking about...” You trailed off before looking at Corpse. “What were you talking about?”

“Oh...” He started, “we were talking about an anime. (Y/N) isn’t really into anime, guys.” He laughed and you smiled but you could feel the anxiety start to build, you just knew this was going to cause a wave of hate to you.

“Hey, I loved Sailor Moon and Pokemon when I was a kid.” You attempted to make a joke, thinking it would gain approval of his fans but it only caused them to react worse.

The chat started moving faster, messages of,

‘LMAO of course she doesn’t know what we’re talking about’

‘Did she really just say Pokemon? She’s fucking basic’

‘What a fucking dumbass’

‘Dump her ass Corpse’

‘Ugh why the fuck did she come?’

‘WE DONT WANT YOU HERE’

‘Fuck off (Y/N)’

‘Corpse you can do so much better’

You could feel the tears welling up, each comment being another jab and you knew you had to leave or you would cry right there and they’d all hear just how they had gotten to you. Quickly, you got up, ignoring Corpse calling after you and trying to reach for you to bring you back to him.

Making your way to the bathroom, you washed your face in an attempt to calm yourself but it didn’t work at all. So instead, you sunk to the floor and let yourself cry. You couldn’t understand why they hated you, you loved him so much for exactly who he was, just as they did. Couldn’t they be happy if who he was with made him happy? Negative thoughts were swirling your mind. They were getting to you.

“(Y/N)?” Corpse cracked the door open, his face full of worry as he stepped inside the bathroom. “Oh, baby, hey, hey,” He was by your side in a moment, his hands finding your sun kissed cheeks as he left a kiss against your head before finding your vision. “I saw what they were saying. They’re wrong.”

“But what if they’re not, Corpse?” You couldn’t help but to argue back. “You deserve someone better for you.”

“Stop it, stop right now.”

“No, I mean, look at us... We’re complete opposites.”

“And so?” He responded. “Do you love me?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“That’s all that matters.” He told you, and you knew he was right, it was just the hate comments were really playing on your mind.

“Is it, though? Don’t you want someone else?”

“No. Fuck no.” He wrapped his arms around you then, he knew you really needed reassurance right now and he was going to give it to you. “You’re fucking perfect, baby. My beach baby, I only want you.” He told you, bringing you onto his lap once more, only now you were on the bathroom floor. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, needing to be close to him.

“Please don’t leave me.” Your voice was barely audible when you’d whispered that but he heard it and it crushed his heart to know it was his audience that had made you feel this way.

“I won’t, ever.” He assured you, he was cradling you with a force now, ever so slightly rocking the two of you back and forth. “You don’t ever have to ask me that, I’m not going anywhere.”

[actualbird]

I like your analysis(es?) so much hh, and apparently my brainworm of the day is the NXX crew getting a flowering cactus called Karla, for some reason. It’s a therapy cactus XD. No other thoughts. - Book

thank you, Book!!! and also wait no get back here and tell me more

KARLA!!! KARLA!!! oh i love her already but please understand that i have so many questions and all those questions have accompanying THOUGHTS oh gosh okay let me just hm wordbarf both those things very messily, you know how i do things

what kind of flowering cactus?

there are so many, afterall.

given that vyn is into botany and gardening, i assume he would have a lot of opinions on this.

actually, ive met a lot of botany hobbyists in my life, and the snobbier ones among them actually HATE cacti (and succulents). theyd say stuff like "oh cacti are the in thing with the millenials these days, theyre the plant people get when they dont know anything about plants."

WOULD VYN BE LIKE THAT, LMAO????? he seems like the type to at least THINK IT.

but also deep down i assume vyn is like "a plant is a plant is a plant" bc among the sweeter botany hobbyists ive met, theyve got this notion that "as long as you help it grow strong through the challenges, u did a good job" WHICH....MAKES ME THINK....VYN THINGS....vyn is not going to admit it, he will never admit it, but hm. what a strange plant. shaped to protect itself yet in need of care all the same.....

ANYWAY if anybody is getting a premeditated-bought cactus for the HXX HQ, you bet that vyn will, one way or another, have some kind of say in what the cactus will be. if it isnt premeditated-bought, he'll definitely have many things to say about the cactus' future care

or does the cactus just kind of appear there? is it brought into the NXX HQ in the dead of the night like jesus in the manger? if that's the case, who brought it?

i think it would be artem. or, well, i think it would be FUNNIEST/PATHETIC-EST if it was artem.

let's just say that a non-NXX and non-MC person decides eyyy, artem, got u a gift, it's a cactus! haha, get it! bc ur a prickly unapproachable dude! and artem is like ".........." BUT LIKE IT'S RUDE NOT TO ACCEPT A GIFT EVEN WITH THE BACKHANDED CRITICISM OF HIS GENERAL STATE OF BEING

so he takes the cactus and like leaves it at NXX HQ because if he brings it to his apartment hes going to get vaguely annoyed by the cactus and what it supposedly represents and he'd want to set it on fire

(sidenote: cacti do not burn well, by the way, ive set some on fire for cacti funerals and sigh, you have to put gasoline on them for a good burn)

anyway he brings the cactus there, leaves it vaguely hoping that the air conditioning will like, kill it (cacti live in the desert, right? so cold...bad?) and then somebody else will go "where the fuck did this dead cactus come from, can we throw it away" and then artem can throw it away (ALONG WITH THE REST OF HIS EMOTIONS. artem...GET HELP....)

but that doesnt happen because get fucked, artem wing

who names it Karla?

naming a plant most often comes from somebody who has gotten VERY ATTACHED TO THAT PLANT. i first thought hmmm maybe it's luke, but then i remembered that luke has this HILARIOUS tendency of making comments about eating MANY ORGANISMS HE COMES ACROSS (ssr shape of you, he threatens to cook and eat goose, chara story ep 1, hes very happy at eating the cooked crabs for their crab crimes, sr aquarium date forgot the name, hes like let's eat seafood SURROUNDED BY HAPPY ALIVE FISH, luke....what the fuck?) so maybe it's not luke and that leaves...

marius von hagen getting attached to a cactus and naming it is SO FUNNY TO ME but also makes me soft. hes the first one who sees the cactus in HQ and is like "who the fuck left this here?" //big data lab googling what it is. "well good thing it's fine with cold temps wouldve died if not, you cant just leave a thing in a place...with no warning....with no help...thats tough....huh, thats tough, isnt it, cactus?"

am i saying that marius von hagen gets attached to the cactus because it vaguely reminds him of his own life story of being pushed into very stressful circumstances and essentially left to fend for himself? yeah. yeah. because im deranged

"the cactus' name is karla," marius says at the next meeting, spraying the cactus with a mist bottle. "be nice to her or else im biting you."

who declares it a "therapy cactus"? aka who realizes that literally EVERYBODY else on the team is, one way or another, projecting themselves and/or their desires onto the PLANT???

luke. luke does. luke has the habit of dissociating and spiraling at any given moment when he encounters anything even ADJACENTLY related to what hes going through (again, sr aquarium date, luke u were just looking at the jellyfish, WHY R U GETTING DEPRESSED PHILOSOPHICAL OVER LIFESPANS???? SIR, GET HELP.....), so like lol he can clock that shit in from a mile away because hes the worst offender of that too

he doesnt bring it up of course. i mean, im sure he thinks about it because it's just the right kind of shithead move to pull just in case the others try to push him around again but mc gets mad at him when he goes agent scary at the rest of the boys so okaaayyyy he'll retaliate against getting dunked on in a more...civil way. so he doesnt bring it up. he also doesnt bring it up because...

well, if it makes them happy, then it makes him happy. thats all that matters to him

"keep making them all happy, yeah?" luke absentmindedly says to the cactus one day. "i heard you guys can live for a hundred years."

the cactus, of course, does not reply.

mc gets very into taking care of karla. pls expect many conversations where the boys are talking about the "cactus" (theyre talking about themselves) and mc is just like "okay im 90% sure this is a metaphor, you guys aint slick, but i like this cactus very much and thats true whether it's a metaphor or not."

all the boys: //PLEADING EMOJI WITH HEARTS

thanks for making me go insane over a cactus, Book. it's 8am here.