#than a toxic dynamic presented as wholesome

[blood-orange-juice]

You don't ship kaeluc because it's pseudo-incest. I don't ship kaeluc because in a romantic relationship their dynamic would be toxic. We are not the same.

[brsb4hls]

I know iwtv sometimes looks like a regular queer hipster relationship drama, so it's easy to forget it is an actual horror show and the protagonists are all monsters who eat people.

But if you take that into account how can you see Armand as 'the antagonist' or 'the villain' here?

I'm not playing down Louis' background and the trauma of the trial, the monsters in this show still have feelings and the audience is supposed to feel empathy for them.

But why so much more for Louis? Why pit Louis and Armand against each other?

Yes, Armand was willing to let Louis die. But he didn't plan it. The coven pressured him into directing the trial (recently confirmed by Assad) ad he took the easiest route.

Then saw his chance to change course and he lied to Louis about it.

On it's own that seems absolutely horrible.

Well, so is trying to actually murder your partner, like Louis did (I mean that's what he's on trial for, among other things) and yet everyone is cooing over the Loustat relationship.

Their connection is a red thread throughout the books and they have an intriguing dynamic, but it's every bit as toxic as Loumand.

And yet those celebrating the toxic messy Loustat relationship (mainly because it's so messy) are questioning if Armand 'can ever come back from what he did.

And I wonder why that is.

Maybe show Armand is to passive and subby. (Like I wrote before, he is not a master manipulator sadly, he just goes with the flow and lies and omitts when the opportunity presents itself).

Or people don't feel empathy cause he's not as open and mostly wearing a mask of sorts.(if you miss Assads microexpressions that is, he's actually amazing at portraying emotions like that).

I truely don't know.

I still love the character and wished he was more 'aggressive' in the actual sense of the word, taking action instead of just going with things. He is extremely powerfull and hardly showed it.

And the Loumand relationship was miserable for both of them from the start.

Louis actually used it as a fuck you to Lestat. Like 'see this loser? Well, I rather fuck him than you so chew on that', very romantic indeed.

He hallucinated Lestat the entire relationship and only told Armand during the interview.

He fucked and killed 138 boys he pumped full of drugs first. He still hated Armand for his part in Claudia's death (Lestat also had a part in it, just a reminder) and also found him boring and suffocating.

Nothing about that is wholesome in anyway.

Both of them should have broken the thing off multiple times but they clung to it for different reasons.

That's a regular fucked up monster relationship where the monsters are horrible to each other.

And in that context I don't see a villain here.

Maybe we might get there if we explore Armand's torture chamber and experiments (or Lestat's side of the trial, an interview hints Armand might have had more involvement), which I would actually preferr over the passiveness we have now.

But at this point in the show I see no reason to hate Armand, just like I see no reason to hate Lestat or Louis.

(Hating Santiago is very valid tho for reasons).

[opinated-user]

"The artstyle of a potterhead that watched Black Butler" Oh, but don’t you get it? Black Butler is an anime, and (as any obsessed Lily stan would know) Lily fucking HATES anything even remotely related to the vast majority of anime with a deep, racist burning fucking passion. It doesn’t matter if this line means absolutely fucking nothing, it doesn’t matter if its not even remotely fucking related to Shock Value or the game that the video is literally about. LO really fucking hates anime, and that’s all the reason she needs to shove it into a video whenever she wants to no matter what. It doesn’t need to make any logical sense or MEAN anything silly! All that matter is that Lily said it in one of her rants, so it must be brilliant! — LO’s Stans, probably

i just think that the woman who attaches her name to a webcomic that has this:

clearly inspired by anime if not straight from a "how to draw manga" book, on top of presenting a toxic dynamic as "wholesome best friends", shouldn't be speaking against anime inspired anything and less than anything with such contempt. (btw i just realized that after all of these years LO is still using Lizzy's art for the fanart button in the pokemadhouse blog lol) it truly feels like the reason why LO hasn't been using her official avatar in a while in any of her videos is because she knows it's too easy to call out how much of a self hating weebo she comes off as.

[aihoshiino]

I’m curious as to what your opinions are on the ships in ONK. I’m guessing you’re not an Aquaruby fan (neither am I) but what do you think of Aquakana? Or any other ships in ONK! Personally my favorite is Ai x Happiness :)

AI X HAPPINESS IS THE ONLY OSHI NO OTP THAT MATTERS YOU'RE SOOOO RIGHT ANON

Out of the "official" OnK ships tho, you're right in that I don't really care for AquRuby, at least as presented in the text. It was never going to be a ship I was on board with since I'm just too exhausted with anime being the way it is about sibling incest to even pretend to take it seriously but the manga itself also seems to have the same attitude. Since 123, Ruby's feelings for Aqua have mainly been treated as a joke that relies on having Ruby act out a caricature of an archetype that was ALREADY shallow and dated in the 2010s lmao. I think Ruby -> Aqua would at least be interesting to read about if the story was actually willing to take her seriously and properly examine her feelings in a way that feels consistent with her character and to actually dig into the reality of a person developing incestuous feelings in a society that condemns incest rather than using her as a gag prop. I care less about it being incest and more about it being badly written incest basically LOL

AquAka I think it's interesting on paper and there's a lot of elements to it I think are really neat to chew on in discussions and character analysis but as a ship, it doesn't really work for me in execution. Part of it is that I don't really like how Aka handled most of Akane's stuff post TB and most of it is just that the majority of their "real" relationship happens like... offscreen, in a time skip? So there was no real time to get attached to their dynamic as a real couple and I'm the kind of person who mostly gets invested in ships based on the strength of their moment to moment banter and rapport. AquAka have a lot of big, dramatic moments but I didn't feel like they quite had the necessary downtime rapport to serve as the connecting tissue that would've made it land.

It also doesn't help that I feel like, a lot of what *I* think is interesting about AquAka is really not what the fandom sees in it LOL So it's really hard to discuss the elements I like without people getting Genuinely Angry At Me for daring to say the relationship is unhealthy or that both Aqua AND Akane completely fucked up and that's why it didn't pan out. That conflict and tension and the simmering undercurrent of codependence and toxicity that both of them unintentionally brought to the relationship is sooooooo fascinating but I feel like so many people actively talking about AquAka just kind of ignore that and treat it as an entirely wholesome, uncomplicatedly good relationship and Akane as completely flawless within its context. I think that's both unfair to Akane and kind of boring but I've also really drifted away from the question here, huh...

Anyway! AquKana is the 'canon' OnK ship I like the most by far! I wouldn't say I'm like Actively Shipping It in the sense that I go out of my way to seek out fanworks about it, but I think they're cute together and I like them, especially in the anime - I've said before it was the adaptation that made me actively a fan of Kana and that goes for AquKana, too. Like I said up there, a couple's moment to moment banter and dynamic is really important to me and that's a big part of the AquKana appeal to me. I really like the way they bounce off each other and I particularly enjoy the way Kana encourages Aqua to be a better version of himself - not necessarily in an "I can fix him" way but in that his friendship with Kana encourages him to be better out of respect and fondness for her. Kana serves as a sort of window into life as a normal boy for Aqua, with no revenge or ulterior motives, and in that space a lot of Aqua's worst traits that are exacerbated by trauma get softened and filtered through a kinder lens. I also really love the ways Aqua's support helps to uplift and encourage Kana to do her best - she was such a lonely person for so long, seeing the way she glows once she has someone to shine for is so sweet.

I definitely don't feel as strongly about it now as I did coming right off the anime because it's been pretty out of focus for a while... Honestly, come to think of it, I think that's part of why AquAka didn't really hook me at all. It's hard to get invested in something that's making a character you already liked more feel so bad LOL

Circling back to Ai, though... Ougghh it really does kill me there's no straightforwardly lovey dovey ships for her in OnK. I'm a lifeform that draws sustenance from seeing my faves getting loved and doted on, especially when they're someone as starved for love as Ai... don't get me wrong, I love KamiAi and AiNino because yandere love is pure love but sometimes I just want to see nice things happen to her...!!!

Anyway this is the part where I pull out my License To Be Cringe And Free and admit that I do have a whole bunch of crosscanon OTPs for Ai that I've written with friends LOL Honestly I do feel very spoiled with how many I've gotten to write and how good they've been... I've even commissioned some art here and there. So if you're ever on an internet walk and stumble across a piece of art that makes you go "hold on, why is Ai holding hands with Rinne Amagi from EnStars" or something, you have this bitch to thank!!!

[fics-n-stuff]

Alright, so now that I have the definitive results of my poll:

I'm shocked that so few people ship Kitty × Dae. I knew they wouldn't be the favourite since they don't have the exciting/popular tropes but I thought more people would ship them than this.

Kitty × Yuri is really cute, I'm not surprised they're so popular, but I like Yuri × Julianna so much I just can't get on board with it. Yuri was so in love with Julianna all season I just really don't want anything to come between them. However, I really like that Kitty developed her crush on Yuri and discovered this side of her sexuality, I think it was really well handled and a great bit of bi rep. The introduction of a different female love interest would not be unwelcomed by me.

Yes, Kitty × Min Ho is a great grumpy × sunshine enemies to friends to lovers ship, but I really hope that people are acknowledging that, as of the end of S1, Kitty has not shown any romantic interest in Min Ho and his crush is purely one-sided. Not to say that she won't or shouldn't develop those feelings, and they would be cute if they got together, but people shouldn't expect too much too fast. I only say this because I have seen people have these expectations in other fandoms and it not ending well. And I feel this way about Kitty × Yuri too, Kitty has a crush on Yuri, yes, but Yuri hasn't really demonstrated reciprocating feeling. Yes, they had that almost kiss, but I would argue that that is not enough to count as proof of reciprocation. As far as we have been shown, Yuri is still in love with Julianna and sees Kitty as a best friend. But again, that could change.

THREE PEOPLE actually voted for Min Ho × Madison!?

SIX PEOPLE voted for Min Ho × Eunice!? That was so unexpected!!

I don't really have a main endgame ship favourite, I kind of want Kitty to play the field and try out the different combos (though I know lots of people don't like it when shows do too much with too many ships). My only endgame ship is Q and Florian, though I know they have a lot of work to do on their relationship before they get to the point that it's healthy for them to be together long term. They were super cute but they have some serious issues to sort out.

Jina and Professor Lee are also a fun ship, and I like there being a romantic plot between two of the older characters too because it presents a really different kind of dynamic. Jina needs to divorce her husband anyway, that man sucks, and it's pretty clear that her and Lee still have feelings for each other. I think them, Alex and Yuri are such a sweet family and it would be really lovely for them all to have that.

All in all, this is the kind of show that's bound to have alot of different shipping opinions within the fandom. I personally haven't seen any toxicity yet but I've been involved in too many fandoms that engaged in full on shipping wars to not be wary of that potential. This show is so wholesome and I really hope that carries over into the fandom. People do not have to have the same shipping opinions as you, it does not make their opinions any less valid. Just enjoy the show and enjoy the community, consume and create the fanon content that you enjoy and leave other shippers and fanon creators alone.

❤❤

[cabeswaterdrowned]

emison, nationalism, time loops

(For the send me a ☕️ + topic ask game)

Emison — I generally like them, not without caveats but the parts of it that are good (by good I mean the more messed up parts) are really good and compelling to me! Have said before that *peak* Emison era to me is 4b-5a. The era when Emily has just learned Ali is alive and is reckoning with all her different complicated feelings about her, trying to tell herself she’s over Ali but then repeatedly acting in ways that prove how much of a simp for her she still is (things like “You always saw the best version of me” “I don’t see that anymore” *proceeds to go to the kissing rock* *gives Paige lengthy speech about how she’s finally over Alison* *stashes money for Alison, meets her in abandoned warehouses and makes sure to dress hot before*) I eat that kind of dichotomy up in general for my ships! And there was great work for Emily as a character there to me, in having a space for her anger and also her messy feelings, and because Alison is now alive but not concretely *back* the writing was still fun and ambiguous regarding her morality, how much of her was real and how much was either performance or the liars in this case Emily specifically projecting onto her.  … And 5a there was really good longing and pining and again, just enough emotional nuance to keep things interesting. The flashbacks in s1-3 are overall good for them too / I enjoy the whole character is haunted by their first love with who they had miscommunications with and the ambiguity will haunt them forever and influence all their future relationships thing so yes I was mostly a fan, but that mid season arc was what really gave me *feels*. And then the show just never did anything interesting again… In general I’ve been vocal about the fact that I almost never like storylines about pregnancy and raising kids for chars and dynamics I like unless the writing does A Lot of work to convince me to like it… so you can imagine that I was Not A Fan of one that was incredibly lazy with a side of bodily autonomy violation (that is never addressed as such…*sigh*) coupled with other issues I have with misogyny and homophobia in pll (and racism too regarding Emily) and how the way *canon era* Emison was ultimately done played into a lot of said issues. Then the perfectionists wise on a watsonian level it’s not that I necessarily hate the divorce, especially since I’m on record as often advocating for divorce for ships I like <3 but the lack of Emily actually being present robs that of the character work potential it could have for both of them, and then on a Doylist level I do Hate the implication that They’re the toxic horrible relationship that can’t be sustained while Ezria and even then other het relationships that aren’t as insidious but still had major problems are totally fine to be together 4 evah *barf*.

So basically the sum of my Emison feelings is that I do like them, aside from maybe Emaya they’re my favorite canon pll ship, but it is one of those ships where I feel a lot of what I like and find interesting about them either wasn’t intentional or wasn’t a priority when it came to the writing. The Emison I would have written >>>. But I do appreciate when the show was aiming for more than a typical cookie cutter wlw ship with them, and I side eye some wholly negative takes on them that dismiss that and why it would appeal to sapphic fans over it not being purely wholesome and sweet.

Nationalism — I don’t think I have any groundbreaking takes on nationalism as a concept, I think the best use of it is advocating for a country’s freedom/independence so it’s not really a useful sentiment for countries like the U.S. or UK etc. that are already recognized / have political power and are more likely to pose harm to ones that don’t and are founded partially on colonialism. My pov on it is as someone who’s a U.S. citizen / born there but spends a fair amount of time in Pakistan because it’s where my family is from but also I obviously have privilege to be mobile in terms of traveling which many don’t … so I guess my stance is as a concept in general nationalism can be neutral or a good thing but for a U.S. context it’s more likely to be negative for the world in general.  

Time Loop — I generally like time loop stories I think they can be really fascinating, I don’t think I actively seek out time loop media but when it turns up in something I like I’ll be excited for it! Some favorites of mine are “Life Serial” the Buffy episode very on brand of me to insert Buffy into the conversation but I think it’s such an underrated episode… and I love “As I Have Always Been” the Agents of SHIELD episode it’s probably in my top 2 for the entire show. SYFY’s The Magicians is a show partially founded on time loops and I enjoy how it plays with / uses them a lot I even enjoy the Margo and Eliot time loop ep in s5 despite really disliking a lot of what’s going on in that last season. And Russian Doll s1 was great I really need to get around to watching s2…. for someone who blogs a lot about tv I am actually very bad at watching things sometimes :/. But there’s a lot of popular time loop media I haven’t seen and/or have no interest in. 

[egg-emperor]

I wish I could say the same about Frontiers!Eggman, but... I'm sorry, I still don't like it. The Villain's Precious Child trope is one that I largely roll my eyes at regardless of how it's done, which naturally applies double to a villain that it doesn't even work for IMO, and no matter how the Sage stuff is portrayed, the fandom's already made its mind up on his character, and we know I rarely trust what Flynn claims. Top that off with him still being upstaged by a purple testicle, and... yeah.

That's fine. Coming from someone who's now been on both sides of hating and loving it, and contrary to the beliefs of those that made me their enemy when I was bitter on it too, I have a lot more respect, understanding, and acceptance for those with different opinions to me than they do. :P In fact, I'm even more mellowed out and chill about it than ever because I want to make sure I'm never like those that turned so hostile on me, though I was never close to that in the first place.

I personally think it can work for Eggman but not in the way a big majority of fandom has taken the dynamic from Frontiers and sanitized and simplified it for wholesomeness factor, it's complicated, shallow, and toxic instead. So I still can't engage in fandom the same I could before as fanon is far from it, plus people still see my analysis and writings as criminal for presenting the dynamic as unhealthy, despite how it's canon accurate based on both official word and actual in game content.

I think the "Eggman genuinely accepting creations as being like his kids" thing is fine in itself as he is close to being their father just by being their creator. I've never had a huge problem with him calling himself Metal's father in comics as it was presented as casual and not as deeper, selfless, sincere care. Looking back at Frontiers made me realize it's quite similar with Sage, he accepts the dynamic based on the fact of being her maker and for selfish benefits he states multiple times.

I think it works as being in casual joking manner from Eggman, as a way to butter up his creations and keep them loyal (I can't imagine him referring to them affectionately/praising or showing them affection outside of this), and as his reasonings behind it actually being really shallow, self-centered, and conditional and ultimately only for what he gets out of it with his own pride as creator and benefit in being served by them. I just think all of that is pretty interesting to explore.

The mass majority of fandom definitely isn't going to change its mind on the Eggman portrayal and the dynamic until canon shows them what it really intended much more clearly than Frontiers though, so it doesn't allow for the chance for people to mistake it and put down those who see it for what it is and was even described as by Ian Flynn himself (which I'm half surprised they didn't listen to him but also half not because they always reject canon official stuff in the games they dislike that disprove their theories too)

I can actually see what Flynn means with his explanation of the dynamic and Eggman's "unsettling" side of it and the assertion that he's a "BAD person" warming up to the idea "for all of the wrong reasons", as he emphasized in his Bumblekast answer though. It's definitely actually there in the game. But I still think it's a problem that it's only so clear through certain memos, as it being in a few lines of optional audio over it being shown in actual scenes wasn't the best place to put it with how the dynamic is being misinterpreted for wholesomeness.

And of course I'm still not ever going to be a fan of him being upstaged by the sexy purple testicle when I obviously think him actually getting to control and use the newest powerful evil thing will always be way cooler but my biggest problem this time was the fear he was OOC and I'm just happy it's not the case upon closer evaluation. Of course he deserves way more respect and spotlight too but I'm happy for the bare minimum of his character still being the same in these dark desperate times ngl lol

[hope-grace-serenity]

Let’s Talk About Faith (Really Long Post)

*This is going to be a VERY long analytical post (feel free to just skim), and will talk openly about topics that might make people feel uncomfortable. Please look at the tags before reading. This was a collaboration with the fantastic @intheforest-hides-a-light and wouldn't be possible without her many contributions and support!*

Faith Seed is a character that occupies an odd space in the Far Cry 5 fandom. If she is included in fanon works, her characterization and interaction with the brothers tends to vary wildly. Sometimes, she is depicted as the product of a wholesome adoption, finding genuine love and a family that treats her as one of their own. Other times, she’s shown to act more like a coworker than anything else, discussing cult-related business with the brothers and leaving when her work is done. Sometimes she’s playful and mischievous, other times sweet and deferential. While John, Jacob, and Joseph’s core character traits remain generally consistent in fanon material, it seems almost as if every writer has their own idea of who Faith is, or who they want her to be.

Faith can be a difficult character to write because there’s a certain level of uncertainty to her that is simply not present with the other heralds. Joseph, John, and Jacob have different personalities and outlooks, but they have a shared history and biological relation that act as their foundation for genuine love and affection. Faith, on the other hand, is an outsider who did not meet the Seeds until she was seventeen. What complicates any group interaction even more is the uncomfortable truth that she is not the first Faith--she’s at least the third in a series of “sisters”; a triage of women who share two unfortunate identifiers: they are completely interchangeable and, in the eyes of Joseph, utterly disposable. Wholesome family moments ring hollow with the knowledge that these “brothers” were complicit in the deaths of previous “sisters” and could easily do the same to her. Despite their discardable nature, Joseph clearly believes that the role of “his Faith” is one that needs to be filled, otherwise he wouldn’t keep finding replacements and giving her so much power.

This is not helped by the ambiguity in the game itself. How much of what she says is true, and how much is fabricated or exaggerated? How does the Bliss affect our understanding of her? Is what the resistance says about her fully accurate, or biased? Does Joseph view her as an actual sister? A daughter? A wife? Who is Faith Seed, exactly?

The purpose of this post is to analyze Faith’s role within the family, which at its core explores the complicated and very toxic dynamic between Faith and Joseph Seed. Analyzing Faith’s place in the Seed family requires a willingness to address an uncomfortable aspect of the text that is often overlooked, ignored, or rejected outright: How Joseph exploited Faith physically, emotionally, and--yes--sexually. While part of the beauty of fandom lies in interpreting the text differently, there is a difference between disagreeing and claiming that there is no canonical basis for such an interpretation. We personally feel that, when analyzing the text as a whole, this unsettling relationship is the unfortunate truth that the game presents to us, and it would be remiss for us to discuss Faith without addressing these struggles.

There are varying and completely understandable reasons why some don’t like to imagine a sexual relationship between the two of them. This essay is not meant to be some kind of attack on anyone who prefers to interpret the characters differently, but it may address some possible repercussions of ignoring this side of Faith’s story. This essay will primarily focus on in-game evidence, but the Drew Holmes DMs will be considered under the school of thought that a writer’s intent holds additional weight when interpreting a text

So, without further ado, let’s begin…

The First Faith

Joseph lived through a horrific childhood, living with a violent drunk of a father and a mother who “glided through the house, listlessly...She had never been anything more than a ghost to us, of no help whatsoever, possibly doomed to derangement for all eternity” (Book of Joseph, p.11-28). He was separated from his brothers and went through many foster homes, having difficulty forming connections with others. Until, of course, he met his Faith.

Unlike his mother, who was completely detached, it is safe to assume Faith was the opposite based on the way he talks about her. In Joseph’s monologue to the deputy in Jacob’s region, Joseph recalls, “She had faith that things were going to work out. She always had faith…” His mother’s presence contributed to instability and violence, but his wife’s presence brought stability and comfort, keeping him grounded during his reasonable anxieties about parenthood.

Faith was more than just his wife’s name–it was also a characteristic that she embodied, both in terms of spirituality (as seen from the “God bless” in her voicemail in the DLC) and devotion to her husband. In Joseph’s monologue, after saying that she always had faith, there is a pause, as if reminiscing or reflecting on her and the selfless faith she expressed. Out of all the different aspects of her character, this is the quality that Joseph values the most: her steadfast belief and devotion. For a man who spent the vast majority of his life in a constant state of uncertainty, feeling neglected and unloved by anyone aside from his brothers, this no doubt was something he cherished and valued. Something he cherished so much, that when he lost it and emotionally returned to that empty void, he felt the unyielding need to replicate this sensation.

His Faith: An Examination of the Eulogy

Receiving confirmation in the DLC that Joseph’s wife was named Faith makes his intention towards the other Faiths clear. Although she’s technically deceased, in Joseph’s view, Faith (his wife) lives on through all these women. The “Faith” role guides and soothes the flock, keeping them all moving in the right direction, much like how Joseph’s wife supported him on an individual level through all his personal doubts about money. In her sermons in the cult outpost, Faith (Rachel) emphasizes the importance of having this characteristic, highlighting her role within the group.

Joseph's eulogy is very revealing in terms of how he views the role of Faith. In the eulogy, he praises her based on two things: 1. Her devotion (her “faith”), and 2. How he personally changed her from someone broken into someone who was “angelic” and “perfect.” This change only happened after he “put his faith inside her.” The things he praises her for (how much faith she had in him, and how much he changed her) shows that pride is clearly not a sin he has overcome.

A couple things to note about this: First, this eulogy is a stark contrast with the brothers and is revealing of how Joseph views her and her position in the cult. While Joseph gets very personal in John and Jacob’s eulogy and reveals who they were as people, their feelings, their childhood….Faith is given none of that, because to Joseph, none of that really matters. She’s an ideal, not a person--an interchangeable feminine presence meant to fulfill his needs, emotional and otherwise, that can no longer be fulfilled by his wife.

The eulogy begins by saying, “My Faith...My Faith.” The repetition brings attention to how he views Faith as belonging to him, as opposed to a person with her own wants, needs, and desires. He then contrasts her to his previous “sisters” by emphasizing how Faith was the “most devoted.” In Joseph’s eyes, how well a Faith shows and experiences that trait determines her value. This is corroborated by the “Confession” letter, in which one of the Faiths experiences fear because she’s afraid Joseph would not forgive her for having doubts--for not being faithful enough. Given the gruesome fate of at least one Faith whose body Joseph “threw into the boiling muck,” this is a very reasonable concern to have.

Joseph describes Rachel as coming to him “broken” and “lost,” but he then says, “I put my faith inside her, and she became angelic. Perfect.” While he says these lines, he gently closes his eyes as if fondly reminiscing, and then pauses for several seconds, before resuming. These types of actions (eyes closing, pausing after remembering key moments) are absent in John and Jacob’s eulogies. Joseph’s eyes begin to close when he describes her as becoming angelic, and they stay closed while he calls her “perfect” and during the remainder of the pause (eleven seconds total). Clearly, he likes whatever he’s remembering.

Finally, he says, “It is Faith that holds us together, and without it, we are lost.” Although it sounds as if he is referring to the concept of faith, the word “Faith” is capitalized in the subtitles, which shows he is referring to the idea of his wife. Joseph needs that support and stability of his Faith in order to remain grounded (relatively speaking, of course).

Echoes of the Past

Aside from their shared name and role, there are other connections drawn between the Faith we see in FC5 and the first Faith.

Perhaps the most obvious connection between Faith and a bridal role is her apparel--a white lace dress with flowers strewn about. White is traditionally a symbol of purity and innocence, and is often used for brides, which is appropriate if Faith is to fill the void his wife left behind. Lace is another traditional material that is used in wedding dresses, and the flower motif is also typically associated with weddings. The overall design of the dress looks very similar to a typical above-the-knee wedding dress.

The design of the dress also alludes to her multiple roles within the cult. The top part is very modest and conservative, high-cut and covering her shoulders, as befitting a stereotypical madonna-like presence whose purpose is to guide and provide comfort to Joseph’s flock. The bottom half of her dress, on the other hand, is purposely short--the front part only goes down to her mid-thighs. What’s more surprising about the dress is that it’s actually longer in the front than it is in the back, which only covers what it needs to, 0:53-1:00). It is not exactly the type of apparel one would expect from a figurehead of a group with a “no fornication” rule. The dress is contradictory because her role in the cult is contradictory; she walks the line between innocence and corruption, youth and maturity, lies and truth. If Joseph had any issue with the style of this dress, as the leader, he can and would have spoken up (much like how he does when John acts in ways he disapproves of, such as during The Cleansing), and Faith would have changed. But he doesn’t, and she doesn’t, because to Joseph, there is no issue. He wants her in that dress. It seems uncouth for a supposedly celibate cult leader to approve of a dress style associated with a sense of sexual desirability or availability, but if we take into account how Joseph views the role of Faith. Her borderline inappropriately short dress fits in with his twisted perspective of her. Her dress is reflective of both purity and sexuality, which he both expects from her, as her presence brings him spiritual, emotional, and physical fulfillment.

We also have this line: “We were just babies ourselves.” While we are not given their exact age, Joseph viewed him and his wife as being very young at the time. In Faith’s battle, she cries out: “I was seventeen..I was just a child...” Years after his wife’s death, he remains fixated on her memory. While he gets older and older, the young woman in his mind remains the same. And as a result, the girl chosen to become Faith and replace that void in his life is at a similar age to that memory. And yes, as a result, the relationship dynamic becomes unsettling and toxic.

Furthermore, we see something of interest written on one of the tablets on The Pilgrimage. It says, “Joseph Seed collects his blood family--John, Jacob, and Faith. He anoints them as his Heralds so that they may help guide the growing family of believers.”

We know for a fact that Rachel (and Selena, and Lana) are not blood family. So there’s only one other way she *could* be blood family— through marriage. Husband and wife are described as being “one flesh” in the Bible, which Joseph quotes frequently throughout the game. And while Faith isn’t literally married to Joseph, it ties into the ideas of him viewing “Faith” (whoever that might be) as a substitute wife--or a spiritual one--in all but name.

Other Examples of Sexual Subtext

There are other indications that Faith’s role is more than simply platonic. Faith’s official title in Eden’s Gate is The Siren. Sirens are mystical creatures who lure men to their doom, and in art are portrayed as beautiful temptresses. They are often depicted in a sexual way, which--much like Faith’s dress--is not something one would expect from a cult with a “no fornication” rule. This title reflects how Joseph views her in a sexual light, perhaps even “tempting” him into sin.

In the “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” the writer of the letter says, “You’re not the first woman he’s used up and thrown away.” The phrase “used up” is often used colloquially to refer to women that have had sex many times (and yes, it’s a very misogynistic term). By saying that Joseph was the one who “used [the Faiths] up,” the implications are obvious. While the Faith position requires a strong emotional center, there is evidently a sexual component to this relationship as well. This makes sense from Joseph’s twisted logic, as his wife provided both emotional and physical fulfillment.

And let’s take a look at this awkward family photo. The fact that Faith’s arm is sprawled across Joseph’s thigh is something that is not unintentional. Her hands could have been placed in her lap, or literally anywhere else, but whoever designed this photo made the conscious decision to have her arm spread out all over his leg. They also made the conscious decision to have Joseph holding a gun pointing between his legs while he’s keeping his other hand holding Faith’s arm in place over his thigh.

The image above is also indicative of the power dynamics between the family and Faith’s perceived role in it. She is not granted the luxury of a chair, or even allowed to stand alongside the brothers. Instead, she is relegated to sitting on the floor like some kind of prized pet. This tracks with the DLC, John’s desire to physically harm Faith like he does others shows that he does not view Faith as an adoptive sister, which was also hinted at by him looking down on her treatment of Angels in FC5. Joseph’s hand is on her shoulder, as if keeping her in place. Her body is leaning into him, with her whole arm resting on the entirety of his leg. Unlike the brothers who are all looking directly forward, Faith is looking off to the side, another sign that she is out of step with them to a certain extent.

This image is an indicator of how Joseph views Faith. He places her in a position of submission and he is the dominant, powerful patriarch. It’s another reminder of his possessiveness towards her, something that we see multiple times throughout the game.

The FC6 DLC also includes several examples of sexual subtext. Most examples below can be seen in these videos.

One memorable moment is the mission objective that involves you finding Faith’s dress. After getting it, he replies breathlessly that it “smells like her,” suggesting some rather intimate knowledge.

In order to “save” Faith, you see her kneeling with her hands bound behind her back, a more mundane scene in contrast with John and Jacob’s supernatural imprisonment. She says, “Why are you leaving me like this? Let me go!” After freeing her, she says, “You kept us close, didn’t you Father? Kept us controlled. Tied down. Was blind but now I see.”

“Do you need a minute to catch your breath, Father?” in a playful tone–alludes to sex, especially given the disparity of their ages and how that might affect, uh, performance

“You liked how that felt, did you? All that power, all that control. We did whatever you wanted.”

“I gave you my heart. I offered you everything. And you took it. You took and took and took until there was nothing left of me.” “No, I gave you so much. A chance, a purpose. We were family.” She is. She’s the replacement for his wife.

“You aren’t my Faith.” “You’re right, I'm not. Not anymore”--Joseph wants her to fit into the role of “his Faith,” his idealized version of his wife. Rachel refuses to play along.

Faith smugly telling Joseph she wants him to “Crawl back to me on your hands and knees”

Joseph saying “I…protected her. I loved her.”

“Your faith has brought you to me. Faith has given you a purpose. A new life. Will you trust me with it?”--shows how Rachel was chosen to become the new “Faith”/wife replacement because she has the characteristic that he valued the most in his wife.

When Everyone is Special, No One Is

Now that we’ve examined how the narrative draws connections between Faith and the wife, as well as looked at some examples of sexual subtext, we will now focus more on the process of the “creation” of the Faiths, and explore how that affects their dynamic and our perception.

Years after his wife’s death, Joseph takes young women and molds them so they can fit his "perfect" ideal and show the same love and faith that his wife once did. This is meant to fulfill the gaping emotional and physical void left behind by her death. The first step is that Joseph makes each woman feel special and unique. Many people who are drawn into cults do so because they have difficult personal situations (bullied/ostracized/abused/etc.), which makes them vulnerable to the cult leader’s charm. We have three different examples of Joseph exploiting this vulnerability. In our Faith’s first cutscene with the deputy, she says that “The father showed her how special she was, that she was full of love and life...She had been given purpose” . The DLC supports this when she tells Joseph “You told me I was beautiful. That I was special.” The writer of “A Confession” relays how she “just wanted to be special. When Joseph came into my life, I felt like you’d given me a true gift, Lord. The man who talks to you would bring me in on your holy conversation…?” In the “Grieving Note,” the writer says how “He told you you were special, but in the end he threw your body in here to disintegrate in the boiling muck.” The last note in particular is significant because it reveals Joseph’s overall hypocrisy in regards to this position. For all the lip service of considering each woman “special,” in reality he views the woman behind the name as interchangeable. He doesn’t actually care about the women on an individual level--instead, he just cares for how well they could live up to the idealized phantom memory of the only woman he genuinely loved. If they no longer fill this purpose, he can and will get rid of them and find someone else who is “special” enough to fill that void.

“A Leap Of Faith”

Once the chosen woman has been drawn in, there is some kind of test where she must prove her faith in him, and he in turn puts his faith in her. So, what was it? The deputy imagines it as an actual leap off a statue of Joseph, which would have been impossible to actually happen for two reasons: 1. The statue wasn’t even built at the time, and 2. Faith is not dead and/or paralyzed. The entire Henbane region is designed to play with perception, both from an in-universe and meta point of view. You see one thing with your eyes, and then it turns out to be another. This extends to its herald, in which even today there are debates about how much of what she says is true and how much is a lie. Sometimes, we see badgers become bears. Other times, we see Faith present one minute and then vanishes into thin air the next. We sometimes hear literal voices inside our heads. When Faith describes her test, we see it as a physical jump, but that’s not what it actually was. The reality lies underneath the surface appearance.

Let’s go back to Joseph’s eulogy, in which he describes how putting his faith inside her turned broken, lost Rachel into angelic, perfect Faith. It was analyzed in the “His Faith” section that Joseph’s words and body language pointed to a clear sexual innuendo, which is what we believe the Leap of Faith actually refers to: It’s the complete and total surrender to Joseph, becoming his Faith by giving him her mind, body, and heart.

In the DLC, Faith describes the process in almost ritualistic terms. She talks about how she was so devoted to him and wanted to give the world to him. Joseph took Rachel up here with the previous Faith, and told Rachel to have faith in him. Joseph wanted Rachel to push the previous Faith–he mentions right afterwards that he needed someone he “could trust, someone obedient.” And Rachel does it, because she wants to prove her love and fully be “his Faith.” And once she does, she is fully his in all ways.

Made Anew: The Final Step

After the “Leap of Faith,” there’s still one final step in the creation of a Faith: the complete rejection of their “former selves.” This remains an ongoing process, but it’s during this stage that they become completely wrapped up in their Faith persona and shed all remnants of their past identity, becoming completely beholden to Joseph and the Project. The “A Confession” note describes how one Faith was “made anew,” the author of the “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” warns Selena against “losing herself,” and the author of the “Grieving Note” asks, “Christ in heaven what they did to you. The fact they could make you believe all that nonsense, make you forget yourself so hard. Forget your own name? How, Lana? What did he say to you? What kind of fucking dirtbag blood ritual could make you think your name was "Faith"?”

In all of those examples, the writers emphasize how the “Faith” role completely devours their past identity. They have a new purpose, a new role--one that is meant to serve Joseph and the Project, one that does not have any room for doubts. The Faith that we see in-game reinforces this by referring to her past identity as Rachel as a separate entity from Faith. In one voicemail, she says, “Rachel's so sad and alone. Once was lost. Never found. She led a faithless life and it brought her low. Faith rose up in her... but Rachel stayed low down. Faith flies divine. And Rachel... Rachel gropes around in the darkness. I left her there a long time ago.” She emphasizes the difference between her and Rachel by saying how Rachel’s faithlessness was the cause of her misery, once again reinforcing the idea that the quality of having faith is the most important quality for a Faith to have. However, it is important to note that Rachel isn’t completely gone (as she is referred to in present tense), but simply staying low in the darkness. Later, we will be discussing a time when the Rachel part of her comes to the forefront.

In another voicemail about babies, Faith says how they are born without souls, and how “You have to give it one. The only soul we ever have, we receive from others. And it is only others who can take it away.” She views herself as being given a soul--purpose and value--by Joseph, which means she views Rachel--her past self--as on the same level of an animal or some other base creature (or “broken,” as Joseph described in his eulogy). Without Joseph, she feels she is nothing. The last line is quite telling, as it subtly reveals a concern of Faith’s--that Joseph is able to take away her position of Faith (which gives her life meaning). She is completely beholden to him because of this, lest she face the same fate as the other women who once shared her name. Alternatively, it could also suggest that her soul as Rachel was taken from her, and that it was replaced by Faith. Joseph has no need for Rachel, only his Faith, and during the years spent in Eden’s Gate, Rachel has become so weathered down due to Joseph’s influence. The individuality of Rachel, Selena, and Lana have been completely stripped away in order to become the ideal, impossible woman.

And with those three steps, the process of Joseph sculpting these broken women into his Galatea is complete. He becomes their maker, and gives them value--a “soul.” And that value is determined by how well they serve him and his purpose. In Faith’s boss battle, she says “You strike, but you cannot destroy what He created.”. In looking at the subtitles, we see that Joseph is referred to as “He” with a capital “H.” This occurs in other lines during this battle as well. The capitalization of “He” is usually used in reference to God, and doing this emphasizes how Faith reveres him, as well as the complete control and power he has over her life. Faith referring to herself as “what He created” shows a level of dehumanization and a low opinion of her own personal self-worth. She’s not a “who,” she’s a “what,” a walking, talking tool that was built to serve his purpose.

During the scene where Faith brings the deputy to Joseph in the Bliss, we see a sermon where Joseph talks about how “those on the outside will see what we have built here together. In our New Eden...the love.” During the pause, Joseph looks directly at Faith, and finishes saying “the love” while he’s still looking at her. The pause--which was written into the subtitles--and him looking at Faith when he says “the love” are not unintentional. He took a broken, lost woman and built into an ideal replacement for the memory of his lost love; she is someone who supports him unconditionally and always has faith. And if the cracks start to show, then he can always toss her out and sculpt a new one.

Remembering Rachel: Tracey’s Recollections

So, how did we lose Rachel? It might make sense that someone would give up their identity if they had no one to live for, but Rachel DID have someone--she had Tracey, a friend who cared about her enough to keep trying to get her out of the cult. So why would she drink the kool-aid and give up her own identity?

Tracey says this about Rachel:

“Rachel... Faith, she was my friend. Like, my best friend. We told each other everything. That only stopped when the Father decided she was his. I did every fucking thing I could to make her realize what she was doing. She made a choice. She chose to play daddy's special flower princess instead of fighting. Don't think for a minute she's innocent, like she didn't have anybody looking out for her. I was there, okay?”

Ultimately, Joseph offers something Tracey does not--a chance for her to change herself into something that she views as better. While Tracey clearly cared for Rachel, Tracey was into the same hard drugs and drifter lifestyle that Rachel was, whereas Joseph offered her a chance to improve herself. While the audience might see it as some kind of Faustian bargain, for Rachel, Joseph Seed was able to see something in her that no one else could. He believed in her in a way that no one else has. No longer would she be Rachel, the druggie--instead, she’ll be Faith Seed, her savior’s “special princess.” And for Rachel, that was an opportunity she couldn’t afford to lose.

Tracey’s words emphasize the possessive way that Joseph views Faith by showing how Joseph “decided she was his.” He’s the one making the decision, another indicator of power and influence. He wanted her, and in order to get her, he made her feel “special,” like all the others. Another example of ownership can be seen in reference to Faith playing the role of “daddy’s special flower princess.” If someone describes a young woman who is almost a legal adult as “daddy’s special princess” when referring to her relationship with an unrelated older man roughly twice her age, the sexual undertones should be apparent. Tracey tries to get Rachel to realize what she was doing, but Rachel chooses to continue the relationship.

Tracey makes it clear that Rachel actively made the choice to be with Joseph. While this is no doubt unethical on Joseph’s part due to the massive imbalance (double life experience, coming from a clear position of power vs. Rachel’s position of emotional weakness), we cannot remove Rachel’s sense of personal agency. However, it is extremely important to note that she made this decision at a time when she was emotionally and physically vulnerable, at an age when she was too young to understand the danger this situation could put her in. She ignored Tracey’s concerns and started drinking the Eden’s Gate kool-aid, getting so wrapped up in feeling special and being treated like a princess by Joseph. Despite her friend’s support, she gets sucked into the cult and rejects her best friend and confidante in favor of a strange man twice her age that she just met. And because of this, she willingly gives in to Joseph instead of “fighting.”

So, what does “fighting” refer to? Here’s another quote by Tracey that mentions this idea:

“Faith was always too nice, back before... when she still called herself Rachel. She was always keeping the peace, agreeing, avoiding fights instead of realizing when a fight needed to happen. You can't talk it out with people who don't see you as human. 'Course, I got painted as the aggro bitch. But good ain't nice, and Rachel didn't get that. It was the only thing we ever fought about before. And she couldn't fight even when it was to save her own damn skin. Sucks to be right.”

The second quote helps give us a greater understanding of Rachel (as opposed to Faith) by painting her as a polite, kind, passive individual. And that passivity and agreeability is what made her easy prey for those who wished to take advantage of her. This quote also shows us that Rachel conflates being good with being nice, which has a lot of implications. Because Joseph acted nice, she thought he was good, which made her trust him. While it’s clear from her behavior and longevity as Faith that she had to have an inner strength that allowed her to succeed where many others have failed, Rachel also had personal vulnerability and naivety that was exploited in order to mold her into his ideal woman.

We also have this line: “You can’t talk it out with people who don’t see you as human.” If there’s one line that encapsulates the Joseph-Faith dynamic, this is it. Joseph doesn’t care about Rachel. He doesn’t care about Lana. He doesn’t care about Selena. He only cares about Faith. He viewed Rachel as broken and was only fixed by giving up her identity and sense of self. Joseph convinces these young women that they are “special" and gives them a place of honor in the cult. They receive his attention and all that comes with it, but when Joseph starts to lose that attachment, he allows them to be disposed of and replaced, covering up their disappearances. While he might genuinely feel--in the moment--that loves these women, his interest is ultimately fickle, as he cares for what she can do for him. He doesn’t actually care about her as a person.He cares for the ideal she represents, that generic feminine presence that can fulfill any role. A madonna figure, a lover, a spiritual child...she’s whatever he needs her to be. The dream woman who will love him unconditionally and be forever loyal. And when the cracks start to show and disrupt that fantasy, he gets rid of the doll and replaces it with a new one.

In both quotes, Tracey expresses that she thinks Rachel should have fought. Fighting in this context refers to a fight for personal agency, fighting Joseph’s power over herself. Following in the footsteps of her predecessors, she chooses Joseph over a friend who genuinely loves and cares for her, and refuses to listen to the warnings. But the key is that she believed Joseph genuinely loved and cared for her. He was nice, so she thought he was good. Her own weakness and need for approval causes her to get sucked into the cult so deeply that she loses herself in order to become Joseph’s love. Anyone who has seen a close friend get wrapped up in a toxic relationship and blindly refuse to see anything wrong with it can understand and empathize with Tracey’s frustration.

Believe Women: The Myth of the “Perfect Victim”

So now that we established that Rachel was willingly drawn to Joseph, we have to examine how this matches up with Rachel’s words during her fight with the deputy.

The first time we are given any information about Faith is in Dutch’s bunker. On Dutch’s board, we see a note that says this about Faith: “She’ll spin you a sob story, but Faith is a LIAR and a MANIPULATOR.” Various Resistance NPCs throughout the game claim that Faith is a liar as well.

Faith’s reputation as a liar is sometimes used as a means of dismissing anything she says in the game, particularly her claim of being drugged and threatened by Joseph at the age of seventeen. Even though Joseph has a known history of warped views on women in the Faith position, and is--at the very least--complicit in violence against them, Faith’s words are often interpreted as purely a manipulative ploy for sympathy or attention. Certainly, it’s easy to want to believe she’s lying--to believe otherwise would have massive implications for Joseph, to the point where some might find it understandably difficult to enjoy his character or even the game itself. And on first glance, her claim of being drugged seems to contradict Tracey’s recollections, so it might seem logical to side with the resistance NPC over the one who has a reputation as a liar.

However, there is enough in-game evidence to reasonably conclude that she is--unfortunately--being truthful with this particular claim. Automatically assuming that Faith can’t be telling the truth because she's manipulative is problematic, as it exonerates the perpetrator and villainizes the victim. There’s no such thing as a “perfect victim”--anyone can be sexually abused, regardless of how much power they currently hold. Faith being known as a liar and manipulator does not automatically mean her claims are false, especially when it matches up with what is presented in-game.

It’s important to remember that these claims about Joseph’s actions could be true without exonerating all of Faith’s behavior. Accepting Faith’s sexual relationship with Joseph does not diminish her power as a herald, but it does add to the complexities of her position in the cult as the highest ranking woman and as Joseph’s “special flower princess”. Faith’s culpability is similar to that of the Manson girls: Responsible for her own actions and participation in the crimes, but at the same time, exploited and taken advantage of by the cult leader in order to serve his purpose. We see that she exhibits a casual cruelty towards her Angels and the people who walk the pilgrimage and take the physical leap of faith, as evidenced from the dead bodies. It is clear that on some level she does want to be involved, and most certainly played a huge role in the Henbane region’s horrors. However, this doesn’t mean she couldn’t have been mistreated by Joseph. A victim can easily turn into one who victimizes and abuses others, as we see with all the Seed brothers.

During Faith’s battle with the deputy, the mask slips and she starts to lose her composure. In the beginning, her persona is very similar to how we’ve been interacting with her throughout the game. She’s calm, controlled, and speaks in a soothing tone. She discusses how the Sheriff was acting like a wall between the Father and the deputy, and says the Sheriff will soon accept the words of Joseph into his heart. In what is perhaps a reference to her own experience, she says that “when he does...there’s no coming back from that…” As the battle progresses, she lets her anger show. She uses Joseph’s message about the Collapse to try to get the deputy on her side, but to no avail.

The final part of the battle is where her Faith persona unravels completely and her composure is fully shattered. She acknowledges that the Project is doing something that requires blame, but rejects responsibility and yells, “It’s not my fault...None of this was my fault! You think I wanted this?” She attributes blame to Joseph by saying, “He plied me with drugs...He threatened me...I was seventeen...I was just a child.” Other lines during this phase of the fight express a sense of fear and helplessness in regards to Joseph, such as “He is more powerful than you know,” “You don’t know what He’ll do,” and “You cannot cross the Father.” She alludes to a deeper understanding of him and what he is capable of when she says, “You will never know what I know.”

Some people believe the entire battle was pure theater, and that Faith grows more and more desperate and creates increasingly outlandish lies in order to make the deputy feel guilty and stop attacking her. Our belief is that the battle is a slow descent from Faith back into Rachel, as she finds that her fabricated Faith persona no longer offers the strength, security, and protection that it once did. Out of a sense of self-preservation and panic, she relapses into Rachel, becoming more open with the deputy possibly for the purpose of--just as in the first interpretation--getting them to feel guilty and stop attacking her. But because of all the atrocities she committed in the name of the Project and all her past manipulation, it rings hollow and the deputy does not stop until she can no longer fight back.

Something that leads to this interpretation is how Faith acknowledged that the Rachel part of her still exists. Earlier in the essay, we mentioned how Faith views the Rachel side of her to be something separate, yet still present, albeit locked away. She said how “Faith rose up in her... but Rachel stayed low down. Faith flies divine. And Rachel... Rachel gropes around in the darkness.” Clearly, Faith crashed and burned, so lost, broken Rachel needed to crawl out of the darkness and take her place. The Rachel side of her was mentioned to be faithless, so she’s the side that can be negative about Joseph, without the Faith filter distorting reality to paint Eden’s Gate in the best light possible. Faith might be a liar, but is Rachel? Rachel, the girl who was “too nice” and “told Tracey everything”? The girl who is said to have stopped confiding in Tracey only after meeting Joseph?

The claims made by Rachel during the fight mirror Faith's first conversation with the deputy. While Faith portrays Joseph bringing her “here” (i.e, the Bliss) as a wondrous experience, Rachel calls it what it is: drugging. Faith then mentions being afraid after Joseph asks her if she was willing to die for him, which takes a much darker tone when Rachel’s words are taken into consideration. Whereas Faith recalls it as a request for devotion, Rachel interprets his questions as having a threatening undercurrent. Faith’s conversation with the deputy ends when describing how she closed her eyes, trusted Joseph, and lept. Rachel’s cries of being “seventeen...just a child” become more significant and tragic when remembering what the Leap of Faith symbolizes.

Something else that leads us to believe that Rachel is telling the truth in her claims about Joseph is that we see her being completely honest with the player immediately after. Before dying, she warns the player of what will happen in the future. The Deputy makes the choice on whether to resist Joseph at the end or not, and if they resist, then the bombs fall, in fulfillment of the Revelations prophecy. Rachel does not have to tell this to the deputy, but she does anyway, giving them a final warning of the end. There’s nothing for her to gain at this point, no last-minute manipulations. At the end of her life, after years of lies and manipulation, she is finally truthful and upfront.

But perhaps the biggest reason we believe Rachel is that we feel this is perfectly consistent with what has been shown to us regarding Joseph’s character, which will be fully discussed later. For now, we will address how this does not contradict Tracey’s claims of Faith went with Joseph willingly. In doing so, we will discuss the content of these letters, one which was written by Tracey to Faith, and vice versa (711628)

First, we have to keep in mind that both Tracey and Rachel can be telling the truth. Rachel clearly was drawn in by Joseph and wanted to become Faith, but that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t have done the things she said he did. Sometimes victims of grooming don’t realize how fucked up things are at the time. A lonely, abused teenage year old girl might feel flattered and honored by the attention that a prophet of God is showing her; he has faith in her and thinks she, of all people, is special and unique. That same person, now a grown woman in her mid twenties, could look back on that same event and see it for what it was: a man using his power and influence to emotionally and sexually take advantage of a homeless, drug addicted teenager. Just because Rachel didn’t see problems with it at the time doesn’t mean there were no problems at all. Faith’s letter to Tracey could have easily been written at a time when she was fully sucked into the glamor of Eden’s Gate and the feeling of being the prophet’s “special princess.” If Rachel felt any misgivings, it’s also entirely possible that she would mentally suppress them or feel they were not worth leaving over, especially due to a fear of going back to her old lifestyle where she’s no longer special.

The fact that the writers made a point to include the line indicating that Joseph reads their correspondence is not coincidental. Faith would have internal pressure stopping her from confiding into Tracey, as well as external pressure coming from Joseph. It’s easy to imagine her being gaslighted or coerced into thinking certain things are normal, even if they’re not. We know that Joseph goes through Faiths like he does tissues, and Rachel knows for certain what happens when they displease him.

Being exposed to the Bliss drug may have exacerbated the discrepancy between Faith’s recollection in her first cutscene and her remembrance during the boss fight. The DLC shows us with 100% certainty that Joseph made Rachel dependent on drugs, which is part of how she maintained her role as Faith. The Bliss drug warps one’s perception of reality and makes one canonically more pliable to suggestion, to the point where Rachel/Faith herself might question or be unsure of how she really felt. Also, keep in mind that a threat or drugging does not HAVE to be overtly violent for it to have happened. Threats can be subtle or passive aggressive. Drugs can be slipped in a drink or given over an extended time in order to cloud judgment and increase dependency, and Faith might very well have willingly taken them at the time.

The DLC also confirms that Rachel tried to run away from Eden's Gate at least once, showing she knew it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Whether it was before she wrote the letter or afterwards is unclear.

So by the time the novelty and glamor began to fade, Faith was in too deep. The cracks started to show, but there was nowhere else for her to go. She pushed away her only friend, and it’s not as though talking honestly with her “savior” would help. After all, as Tracey says, “You can't talk it out with people who don't see you as human.” And it should be apparent at this point that Joseph does not, in fact, view her as such.

Faith chooses to remain entrenched in Eden’s Gate and works within the framework available to her in the cult in order to carve a niche for herself and make herself as valuable as her role allows. She’s able to compartmentalize and push aside any personal reservations and devotes herself fully to the Project, as expected of a Faith.

Joseph’s Sin

The “Faith” position is important to Joseph because it offers him something precious that he yearns for: a feminine, accepting essence that exists outside of his traditional family dynamic that loves him unconditionally, filling his spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. But does he return this unconditional acceptance to his Faiths? On the surface, it seems like he would. That’s what the Project promises, right?

Nope.

The previous sections have touched a bit upon how Joseph views the actual woman behind the Faith name as an interchangeable body, more of a “thing” than an actual person. This section will elaborate on those views and focus on addressing two points that are frequently used to claim that him and Faith couldn’t possibly have a sexual relationship: 1. That he is a true believer and would not break his no fornication rule, and 2. That it would be out of character for him to act so callously as Faith depicts him.

In regards to the first point, we have some examples of the Seeds at least occasionally being hypocrites and holding themselves to different standards than the rest of their congregation. Tracey--who was once a member of the cult--gives an observation of how the Seeds sometimes showed a “rules for thee, but not for me” approach.” She says, “Know how I sniffed out Eden's Gate's bullshit early on? Only the Seeds were allowed to be angry, everybody else had to be calm--even though we all had our asses in that church because we were mad at the same shit too. But now everybody gets to be angry, 'cause it's a weapon pointin' where the Seeds want it. Protect the project. Transparent motherfuckers.” This tells us that Joseph and his brothers are not adverse to applying different rules to themselves than what they ask of their followers.

As John says, “Even the Father knows deeply of sin.” He has “Lust” prominently carved into his body, which shows that it’s a sin he struggles with. And there is clear, undeniable proof that he has a weakness for this sin due to the existence of everyone’s favorite addition to canon: Megan, one of Joseph's spiritual “children” that he canonically has sex with.

Their relationship is by no means on equal footing. He is in a clear position of power, and she reveres him and refers to him as “the Father” in two of her notes. At no point throughout the game does he express any regret or guilt in having sex with someone who practically worships him, perhaps because he might not view what he did as something wrong, which can be extended to how he views his relationship with Faith.

As we continue to discuss Megan, the examples here will overlap with “2. That it would be out of character for him to act so callously as Faith depicts him.” In Megan’s first letter we see that, despite being his lover, she is afraid of him and what he is capable of. Instead of asking him about why there’s a new Faith, or what happened with his wife and child, she feels like the safest course of action is to leave with her baby. That is massively telling. It shows us that she feels uncomfortable speaking up and voicing her concerns to him due to fear of his reaction, and that someone with a sexual relationship with him thinks that he’s capable of violence towards Faith.

Joseph does not show any regret regarding his relationship with Megan or their dynamic. In fact, the only time he mentions Megan is when discussing Ethan’s pride. He says that he should learn from his mother, because she “put aside her pride and it saved [Ethan’s] life.” And by “putting aside her pride,” Joseph means returning back to him. He views her leaving him due to worry and fear for their child as “pride,” which is another illustration of a warped view of relationship dynamics, which extends to his treatment of Faith and his expectation of absolute loyalty.

Let’s look at Megan’s letter that was sent after the Collapse:

In the last paragraph, Megan expresses concern that Joseph would hate Ethan because she “ran away and wasn’t brave enough to stand by [Joseph].” While Joseph obviously doesn’t hate Ethan in the game, we see his reservation about Megan’s actions seventeen years later by framing her desire to leave and not trust him as being an example of pride. This further emphasizes the degree that Joseph prioritizes loyalty and his twisted view on what constitutes loyalty, which we see reflected in how he throws away Faiths who are not loyal enough.

In Far Cry 5 itself, we have seen that Joseph has no qualms with harming others if it serves his purposes. While Joseph is completely earnest in his beliefs and often acts out of love and desire for a perceived greater good, it does not make everything he does actually good. He is completely capable of making justifications for awful things and limiting his sense of empathy when needed. Our first glimpse of Joseph is when we see him gorge a man’s eye out with his bare hands. He watches silently while his younger brother--whom he knows has sadistic urges--tortures people and flays the skin off unbelievers. He sees his older brother keep humans in cages and put them in life-or-death trials. He allows for the cult’s enemies and “disciples full of fear and doubt” to have their minds and sense of identity destroyed, be fed dog food, and render them incapable of speech. In Inside Eden’s Gate, he chases after Alex with a gun. He does all of these things while fully believing he is doing this out of a sense of righteousness.

At the end of New Dawn, Joseph says, “My soul has become a cancer. I am a monster. I only spread suffering and death in the name of God.” Joseph himself acknowledges the evil actions he has committed, despite his earnest intentions, to the point where he feels he is no longer worthy to live in the new world and wants to face God’s judgment.

We’ve seen him do many awful and questionable things, yet the idea that he is incapable of having a sexual relationship with Faith has arbitrarily been deemed by fandom to be a line in the sand that he wouldn’t cross.

Perhaps the most relevant example of Joseph’s potential for callousness is his treatment of the previous Faiths, where we see that Joseph is not adverse to bringing harm (even against noncombatant women) if he feels it is justified.By saying that Joseph threw away the other women, it points to his direct involvement in their deaths, which we see evidence of quite literally with Lana. He “threw her body in here to disintegrate in the boiling muck like a common Angel,” not even affording her the decency of a proper burial. The “Dirty Crumpled Letter” tells us that a previous black-haired Faith (Lana?) was with the project for years, but even her longevity did not protect her from the same unfortunate fate as the others.The writer of “A Confession” expresses fear of Joseph and a belief that he won’t forgive her for having doubts. If he had no moral issues with having harm come to the previous women, why would he be reluctant to do the same to Rachel?

An example of this fear can be seen after the deputy destroys the statue and Faith’s personal copy of the Book of Joseph. Faith tells the deputy, “What have you done? His words. Don't you understand what He'll do to me?” Here we see another example of “He” being capitalized, once again showing a sense of reverence and submission. Some people feel like this line is a manipulation tactic by Faith, but we don’t think it’s likely in this case. The reason why is because up until the final moments of her battle, Faith’s whole spiel is about how wonderful and loving the Father and Eden’s Gate is. She does not present herself as a damsel in need of rescuing. Showing fear of the Father would be antithetical to her goals. Furthermore, Tracey says how “Faith is gonna feel the heat now... She'll need to answer for that burned book and mangled statue.” This confirms that Faith would genuinely have to face Joseph after the deputy’s actions. And it’s also quite telling that the only time throughout the entire game that Joseph calls the deputy directly based on what they’re doing is when the statue gets attacked. Joseph says, “I'm not angry, but I'm disappointed. My people are coming to show you my displeasure.” After this, a bunch of Chosen attack the deputy. Despite his claims otherwise, Joseph is obviously pissed that his statue is destroyed, which makes it logical that he would be angry at Faith, and also logical that she would be afraid of his anger.

Other examples shown in the DLC that show that Rachel was being truthful and Joseph was being abusive are as follows:

Joseph raises his hand to strike Rachel in a vision, and she cowers, not acting surprised or shocked that he’s being violent. Joseph then intimidates her by saying “If you truly knew [what I did to the other Faiths], you would not dare strike me.” She already knows for certain that Joseph wanted the Faiths that displeased him to die. This shows that there was OTHER disturbing treatment and abuse happening behind the scenes that was unknown to Rachel.

“I was a victim. And that was exactly what you were looking for, wasn’t it?”--she’s calling his manipulative ass out

“In the beginning, before I tried running away, I wanted to give the world to you.”--As mentioned previously, Faith tried to run away at one point, proving that she wasn’t as happy with Eden’s Gate as she appeared to the deputy in FC5. This definitely supports the idea that she wasn’t being truthful to Tracey in her letters.

“To execute God’s plan I needed someone I could trust, someone obedient. I was only trying to find that.” “What’s the point of lying now, Father?”--Faith calls him out again here, stopping his attempt to justify his actions in getting a new Faith and having the old one killed.

“That’s the Father I remember. Strong, powerful, terrifying.”

“Faith respected me, feared me.”

We see that Joseph did and does, in fact, keep Faith “plied with drugs” in order to stay “Faith” and not “Rachel.”

That Rachel harbors a lot of anger towards Joseph and how he views her as a disposable, replaceable woman

Outside Support

While the focus so far has mainly been on FC5, there are external sources that lend support to this type of dynamic between Joseph and Faith.

While Joseph is stated to have been inspired by many different cult leaders, his primary inspiration is the “sinful Messiah” himself, David Koresh of the Branch Davidians. Both cult leaders have a philosophy that hinges around Revelations and breaking the seven seals, both involve a violent showdown between law enforcement and the cult, both have visual similarities, both stored a significant amount of firearms, and both lived separate from the rest of society in a compound. And according to the lead writer of FC5, both leaders also slept with several of their followers. He met his legal wife when she was a teenager, and she became a faithful and devoted follower to him, supporting even his more depraved actions. And her name...was Rachel. While this does not address Joseph’s specific actions in-game, it’s mentioned because these games are not written in a vacuum. When we interpret art, we bring our knowledge of the real world into it. Knowledge of communism affects our understanding of Animal Farm, for example. And the knowledge of the Branch Davidians and David Koresh allows us to gain a deeper insight into the life of our fictional Rachel.

Another leader of a doomsday cult with a unique take on Revelations is perhaps the most (in)famous: Charles Manson, the cult leader who ordered his female followers to brutally murder several individuals. Like Koresh, Manson and his followers lived in a communal living situation where they were kept apart from most of society. ABC’s Truth and Lies: The Family Manson special contains interviews with former followers of Manson. It is described how he would “remold” girls by breaking them down and building them up in his image. Leslie Van Houten describes how she thought Manson would lead to a “positive change” in her life but instead became “an empty shell of a person filled with Manson rhetoric.” The documentary also discusses how Manson would encourage his followers to use drugs, which put them in a more pliable state of mind. “Then, the questions would begin: Would you die for me? Will you be my finger on a hand?” The documentary also discusses how during Manson’s trial, there was a sharp contrast between the “savagery of the crimes and carefree nature” of the girls, who would do things like sing cheerfully in court and wear pretty dresses. All these examples are very reminiscent of Faith Seed, and the dynamic between her and Joseph. Rachel was remolded into Faith and believed that Joseph could save her from a life she wanted to escape. Like Van Houten, Faith expresses an emptiness that Joseph fills by giving her purpose--”a soul.” She was exposed to drugs and expresses a willingness to die for him, and becomes an extension of him through her position as a herald. Her innocent demeanor and aesthetic is a clear contrast to the dark and brutal side she expresses throughout the game.

The final point is that the lead writer (Drew Holmes) confirmed it. According to the Far Cry 5 Prima Collector's Edition, Drew Holmes was in charge of “overseeing the story, script, and characters.”

When asked directly about Faith and Joseph’s relationship, this is what he answered via the infamous DM: "Like most cult leaders, Joseph took advantage of his followers. His relationship with the Faith you meet in the game was very similar to the others. This Faith was probably more fanatical and loyal to him... Though I think he was probably frightened of her and saw her as someone with the potential to take over the cult from him. Depends on what you mean by "exploit"...they had a sexual relationship for sure. Joseph slept with a lot of his followers."

The fact that Holmes answered these questions after the game was released adds a degree of certainty about the nature of Joseph and Faith’s relationship. While it is common for a story and characters to go through changes during the development process, Holmes did not say “we toyed with the idea of giving them a sexual relationship” or “they might have had a sexual relationship”, he said: “they had a sexual relationship for sure”. Based on this wording, there is nothing pointing to the idea that this was a developmental change or an afterthought: they had a sexual relationship “for sure”. It does not get more explicit than that. Granted, the amount of explicit detail of their sexual relationship is limited in the FC5 base game, but this acts less as evidence against a sexual relationship between Joseph and Faith and more as an artistic choice to enable the player to draw their own conclusions. Holmes is not a rogue writer breaking away from the rest of his team to add in new, random information to an already-existing product. He’s the LEAD writer of the game who is responsible for the creation and development of these characters and their dynamics.

Possible Counterarguments and Questions

“But she’s his sister!”

No, she’s not. They’re not biologically related, and Joseph’s parents did not adopt Faith in order to make her his sister in a legal sense. She’s on a different level than the rest of her “family,” and she knows it. If Jacob disappointed him, Joseph wouldn’t be complicit in his mysterious disappearance the next day. If John died, Joseph wouldn’t pick out a random cultist, give him John’s jacket, and start calling the new guy John. Everyone in Eden’s Gate refers to each other as brothers and sisters. It’s a title, like how nuns are referred to as sisters. Faith being given the last name emphasizes her importance in the cult, and in the eyes of Joseph. They obviously don’t view her as an actual sister, otherwise she wouldn’t be viewed as so disposable and replaceable.

“Don’t some NPC’s say he treats her like a daughter?”

Yes, they do. As “the Father,” he takes a paternal role towards the entirety of his cult, including his biological brothers (John even says how he “found a new Father” in Joseph). The age difference between Faith and Joseph exacerbates this view to NPC outsiders who aren’t familiar with their past. But as we see with Megan, Joseph has no qualms with sleeping with one of his spiritual children, so there’s no reason to believe he would feel any differently with Faith.

“Faith has control over the Bliss. If Joseph mistreated her, why couldn’t she have overthrown him?”

This is like asking someone who was abused, “Why don't you hit back against your spouse/parent? You’re taller than they are and can probably physically take them down in a fight.” It fundamentally misunderstands the level of complexity abusive dynamics can have, and the psychological hold the abuser can have on a person. Faith views Joseph as her savior. He gave her purpose and she feels she is nothing without him. Putting the Bliss’s likely influence on her aside, if she’s not Faith, then she’s back to being lost, broken Rachel, which she wants to avoid since the Faith position is the first time in her life where she actually feels special and has some degree of power. Faith can be a dangerous person while still being vulnerable and endangered by Joseph.

If she wanted to leave the cult, there is nowhere for her to go since she was abused by her parents and cut off the only friend she had. She lived on a cult compound as a teenager and has no education or job prospects. Faith has shown no signs of ambition in-game in terms of wanting to wrestle control of the cult from Joseph, but let’s play devil’s advocate and assume she did want to leave. How exactly would that work? Eden’s Gate is a cult of personality that ultimately centers around Joseph and his visions. Would John and Jacob happily go along with their brother dying at the hands of the newest Faith? Would his followers? How exactly would the cult sustain itself? She’d basically need to be the queen of an army of braindead, perpetually drugged-up zombies, which is a cool visual, but ultimately a hollow one that gives her no purpose.

“Why doesn’t anyone in the game mention this?”

There are a couple layers to this question. Firstly, we think the relationship is, in fact, mentioned--albeit indirectly--by various characters, as explained above, and the DLC especially lays it on pretty heavily.

Secondly, if we look at this from an in-universe perspective, we have a couple possibilities. The first one is that the relationship was kept a secret. Joseph AND Faith are figureheads, and as previously mentioned, Eden’s Gate has a “no fornication” rule. It would be a bad look for two of the figureheads to be breaking that rule while expecting others to follow it. That by itself is reason enough, but if we take New Dawn into consideration, the pressure to keep it secret may have been increased due to Megan. Her note “Goodbye” isn’t addressed to a specific person, but she calls the reader her “precious family,” meaning there is more than one intended recipient. It can’t be directed at her parents, since she says, “You’ll understand if you’re a parent.” Context clues tell us this is likely directed towards some of her spiritual brothers and sisters in the commune, some of whom may have children and some may not, who know about the pregnancy. If Joseph sins with one person then it could get passed off as a slip up, but if it becomes repetitive then people will start to think he’s a hypocrite and lose faith. It’s better optics to keep it a secret.

Another possibility is that cultists know about it, but just don’t mention it where the deputy can hear. It would be a weird thing to bring up randomly if you’re a cultist guarding an outpost. “Hey, do you guys think The Father and Sister Faith are still a thing?” They wouldn’t want to gossip about the personal lives of The Father or the heralds. It would be disrespectful, and they revere these people. OR it could just be something everyone in the cult is aware of and doesn’t need mentioning.

From an out-of-universe perspective, there are again a couple different possibilities. We’re obviously not privy to behind-the-scenes discussions, so we can only speculate, but there may have been a fear that making their relationship more explicit would eclipse Faith’s personal agency and role in the story. Faith chooses to turn people into Angels, chooses to orchestrate the deaths of others, chooses to take on a leadership role during the collapse, and chooses to produce and spread a dangerous drug all across the county. She’s a villain, and the player isn’t supposed to sympathize with her to the point where they no longer want to defeat her, or stop thinking of her as an enemy. Her exploitation is part of her history, but it does not define her, and I think the writers were afraid that it would if they made the relationship too explicit.

Another possible reason is that Ubisoft might have been trepid about inviting possible controversy. Ubisoft is not a particularly daring company. The fear of seeing articles titled, “Far Cry 5 Requires Player to Kill a Sexual Abuse Victim” would have been enough to pull back and have the relationship be shown to us through subtext instead of overt text. There could have been concerns that being explicit might come across as exploitative or tasteless, and this company has had criticism regarding its treatment of female characters in the past.

“I can’t enjoy the game or Joseph’s character if I think that this happened.”

Completely understood--this is a very sensitive topic. The goal of this essay is to analyze Faith’s position in the family, which--according to Drew Holmes--does contain a sexual component, and we feel that absolutely needs to be addressed in order to fully and honestly explore her character and the personal struggles she experienced, as well as her dynamic within the group. We’re NOT trying to say that anyone’s a bad person if they don’t like this interpretation, or force anyone to address this topic in their writing. We’re just hoping that reading this essay will make people realize that Faith and Joseph being in a relationship isn’t some fringe idea thought up by a bored writer months after the game was released, but was instead a core idea that made it into the finished product and affects characterization and dynamics. Years after the original game’s release, the history of the Faiths remains at the forefront of the FC6 DLC. Not interpreting the characters this way is fine, but please don’t act like there’s absolutely no basis for it. We wanted to give the fandom some food for thought, even if people might not like the taste.

“Sexual abuse of female characters is such a tired trope. Why are you even writing this? Why would you want this to be the backstory? The story is so much better without it.”

This isn’t an issue of “want,” it’s an issue of what was intended by the writers. We think that by ignoring or refusing to discuss this aspect of Faith’s character, a disservice is done to her. According to the lead writer, this is something that happened, whether it’s “cliche” or not, or whether it “ruins” our perception of Joseph or not. Yes, it is gross and immoral. Yes, it is fucked up. But this is the character’s experience. The game was written with the intention that they had a sexual relationship “for sure,” which provides context to all these hints that show up. Ignoring the story of a sexual abuse victim, fictional or not, is something that really does not sit right with us, especially if the reason why it’s ignored is because it makes the abuser look bad.

Faith’s experience is something that can resonate with a lot of people for different reasons. And while we know some prefer this to be a topic that’s not discussed at all, there are others who connect with her character and the experiences she went through, and would prefer for there to be the possibility of open discourse about the idea without it getting shut down for being “baseless” or “out of character.”

Conclusion

Rachel’s story is one that’s unfortunately reminiscent of many real-life women who get drawn into cults. Rachel was abused, directionless, suicidal. She finally finds someone who sees something beyond the miserable drug addict everyone else shunned. She’s told she is special and believes it, and becomes incredibly devoted to this man who saved her from herself and finally gave her purpose. Because she loves him, she gives him every aspect of herself--her identity, her heart, her mind, her body. He puts his faith inside her, and she becomes angelic. Perfect. And she feels nothing but honor that out of all the other girls, he would choose to put his faith in poor, broken Rachel.

But then the glamor starts to fade and the cracks start to show. She comes to the realization that he doesn’t actually view her as special. Instead, he doesn’t actually care about her at all--all he cares about is the role she plays, the person he wants her to be. Like the other girls who were “used up and thrown away” by him, Rachel--by herself--is worthless. Rachel can be killed without a second thought. Rachel can get replaced with a new girl if she’s not devoted enough. All that matters is “his Faith.”

If she wanted to leave, there was nowhere to go. Her real family abused her, and she pushed away the only friend she had. All letters are monitored. So the only choice is to submit and play the role she is given.

As Faith, she has a pull and presence that Rachel never did. She embraces her status as a figurehead and gets fully involved with the Project. She carves a niche for herself through her production and distribution of the Bliss, and through using her natural talents of manipulation. She makes herself valuable so this Faith can’t be replaced as easily as the others. Faith has the power and control Rachel never had, and she revels in it. She loves how powerless the Bliss makes others, and how powerful it makes her. She enjoys the strength that comes with being a herald, and the complete and utter obedience of the angels, which are her own sadistic creation. She captivates and maintains the interest of the most powerful man she knows. Faith in the game is the “witch” and “demon” people say she is, but that sinister siren would not exist without Rachel. The Rachel who was abused, exploited, and transformed by the fantasies of her professed savior. The Rachel who had nothing, who wanted everything Joseph could give her. The Rachel who, at seventeen years old, sacrificed everything, even her identity, so that she could be born again as “Faith”.

Rachel’s story is a really complex, fascinating story to tell, and while her sexual history is simply one aspect of that, it IS part of her story, and it deserves to be told. Like many women who get sucked into cults, Faith was taken advantage of--both mentally and physically--but something that sets her apart from a lot of women in these situations is how she uses her own skills and cunning in order to go from brainwashed victim to cunning and cutthroat leader. Her past abuse is part of her story, but it does not define her. Ultimately, ignoring the abuse she suffered at the hands of Joseph flattens her character because it gives her nothing to overcome once she becomes a herald. What makes Faith so compelling is not her “sob story” of drug abuse and bullying, but her ability to overcome that as well as the compromised, contradictory position she found herself in once she became Faith Seed.

[padawanlost]

So I have something of a hot take: Anakin's relationship with Padme was healthier and less "toxic" than his relationship with Obi-Wan. For one thing, Anidala is built off of a brief but wholesome friendship between two kids, whereas Brobikin starts out with a distant, emotionally detached Obi-Wan and a frightened child Anakin. There also seems to be more trust (of the personal kind) between Anakin and Padme than between Anakin and Obi-Wan. I'm not bashing Obi-Wan btw, just sharing my thoughts.

I think how these relationships ended is a reflection of how they came to be. Both Padmé and Obi-wan loved Anakin as much as Anakin loved them, no one is arguing that, however, these relationship evolved in completely different ways. 

Where Anakin grew more secretive around Obi-wan, he opened up around Padmé.

Obi-Wan had tried to talk to him about it, but the boy would just shut down. His eyes would turn opaque and the corners of his mouth would straighten into a thin line. He would seem very far away. Obi-Wan did not know how to reach him at such times, but they were infrequent and passed as quickly as a rain shower. [ Jedi Apprentice Special Edition: Deceptions by Jude Watson.]

“[Anakin]’d made it sound more as if he had some wild, dark past, and nothing was better guaranteed to keep Ahsoka asking questions than that. If he explained he’d been a Hutt’s slave, she’d dig away at it until all the bad stuff came out. It was hard enough telling Padmé, and she was his wife.” - Star Wars: The Clone Wars by Karen Traviss

This pattern of depending more on Padmé (and Palpatine) and distancing himself from Obi-wan is noticeable throughout Anakin’s life, especially after AOTC. And as we all know, that’s where all the problems truly started.

“It has nothing to do with believing,” [Anakin] murmured, softly bitter. “It’s the truth.” “There must be some reason, then. Anakin, [Obi-wan]’s your best friend. He loves you.” “Maybe he does. But I don’t think he trusts me.” His eyes went as bleak as the empty night. “And I’m not sure we can trust him.”[Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith]

The culmination of this is seen in ROTS where Anakin becomes progressively more attached of Padmé and distrusting of Obi-wan. Such behavior wasn’t born overnight.

As we all know, both relationships ended violently but I’d argue Padmé and Anakin’s bond remained where Obi-wan and Anakin’s was severed because she had a much easier time understanding Anakin’s behavior than Obi-wan.

Personally, I don’t think it’s a simple matter of padmé being ‘ride or die’ or anything like that. Obi-wan was also loyal to Anakin but, unlike Padmé, he didn’t have all the facts. Unfortunately, the communication gap between Anakin and Obi-wan that made Anakin unwilling to open his heart to him also prevented Obi-wan of understanding Anakin’s motivations. And in failing to understand Anakin, he was able to behave as he did in Mustafar.

Had Obi-Wan’s spirit not witnessed Vader’s action, he never would have believed it. Vader, the same monster that Obi-Wan had left to die on Mustafar, had sacrificed himself to save his son. And suddenly Obi-Wan realized where he had failed. For unlike Luke, Obi-Wan had not only believed that Anakin was completely consumed by the dark side, but had actually refused to believe that any goodness could have remained within Vader. And by refusing to allow that possibility, Obi-Wan had condemned not only his former friend but his own capacity for hope. Fortunately, Luke’s unwavering faith in his father’s innate goodness had proved to be a stronger force than the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan recalled what Qui-Gon Jinn’s spirit had told him so long ago, when he said that Obi-Wan was not ready, and that he failed to understand. For so many years, Obi-Wan had thought Qui-Gon meant that he wasn’t ready to comprehend details about Anakin’s conversion to the dark side. But now, he finally understood his Master’s words.I wasn’t ready to forgive Anakin. And he won’t be entirely free unless I do. [Ryder Windham. The Life and Legend of Obi-Wan Kenobi]

I think part of the fandom has a very romanticized version of Anakin & Obi-wan’s relationship in their head. I’ve seen descriptions that make them sound like best buddies in a G-rated buddy cop movie and, sadly, that’s not what we have in the movies (and the EU). I mean, people with healthy, happy relationships don’t try to dismember and set each other on fire. And I’m not saying Anakin & Padmé had a perfect relationship, either. I’m just saying out of the two, Anakin & Padmé were better at communicating and that influenced the relationship dynamics.

Sometimes [Obi-wan] talked to [Anakin] in his head. Arguments more furious than the ones they'd had. Talks in which he explained, Master to Padawan, why he'd done what he'd done. Simple words that managed to say everything he'd meant to say, only more clearly than he'd ever been able to say it. In these talks, Anakin listened and understood. [jude watson - the last one standing]

Every day and every night he violated every principle the Jedi had taught him about staying in the present moment, about acceptance. Going over every argument, every talk, to find the key that he should have turned in order to unlock the secrets of Anakin's heart. Why had he turned to the dark side? When did it happen? The Anakin he knew and loved couldn't have done it. Something had twisted in him, and Palpatine had exploited it somehow. Obi-Wan knew it wouldn't change anything to know, but he couldn't help going over the same events, again and again. The chances he'd missed, the things he'd seen, the things he hadn't. […]Anakin had always hated sand. It was one of the many things about his Padawan that Obi-Wan understood better now that Anakin was dead. That was the horror of losing someone: Understanding came too late. [jude watson - the last one standing]

It’s not about hating Obi-wan (or Padmé) it’s simply a matter of understanding that every relationship is unique, for better or worse. And in this particular case, Obi-wan and Anakin had more complicated relationship than people want to admit. Again, complicated doesn’t mean abusive or hateful, it just means it wasn’t all sunshine and flowers even if they did love each other very much. It’s one of those cases where complicated is good because complicated means complex and complex means human. The fact they didn’t have a perfect relationship proves that these character were properly developed, that they are relatable and engaging even when they are at their worst. And that, imo, is *always* a good thing.  

[queen-of-bel]

A5. A12, B2, B4, C5, C12, D5, D10, E3,

General Yakuza/Judgment/LJ spoilers, so I'm putting under a cut!

A5. Favorite final boss(es)? Oh Kuroiwa, easily. The dynamic intro. The action sequence. The music. His second phase?? Actually, I can't even consider that a second phase. That's just redoing the entire boss fight again. Absolutely amazing.

A12. Favorite tattoo(s)? Maybe it's a bit basic, but I do really love Majima's tattoo.

B2. What’s a scene that never fails to make you cry? Pretty much the entire ending sequence to LJ. I've played the game 3 times and every time the tears start coming when Kuwana says that it'd be cruel to tear Reiko away from Mitsuru after 13 years and they didn't stop until.... the credits rolled.

B4. Who would you like to post more about but you don’t? Why don’t you? Tanimura!! I think it's because I just genuinely cannot take Y4 seriously (altho I don't mean that in a bad way). Y4 is just wild and a really fun ride for the most part. Tanimura's story is the only part that I was genuinely invested in because I really, really love his story. That being said, I guess I just can't really reconcile how seriously I take Tanimura's character and his story and my feelings on the rest of Y4 which is... the complete opposite of serious.

C5. Which character would you like to see as an antagonist? Ooh, interesting. I don't know if there's any specific character that I'd like to see as an story antagonist, but I think it would be fun for Kiryu to try and fight Miss Tatsu but still get his ass beat.

C12. Whose voice do you enjoy hearing the most? It might be a bit basic but I really like Majima's more serious voice like in Y0 or the Majima story in Kiwami 2. I just love those glimpses into more of who he really is, rather than the crazy persona he puts up.

D5. Which character do you think isn’t portrayed well/ is misunderstood by the fandom? Kiryu's relationship with Haruka, absolutely. Fanart led me to believe that Kiryu has a wholesome relationship with Haruka and he's a great father but like... that's not the case at all. Don't get me wrong, he does try his best, but he has messed up. A lot.

D10. What’s something everyone loves that you hate? (Mechanic, scene, character, etc) Mirei Park. I think she could've been a good character if the game didn't try and paint her in a sympathetic light. Her "heartfelt" scenes with Haruka are legitimately so damaging. The woman literally tells a teenage girl "Don’t be content just thinking you’re pretty enough the way you are". She projects her failed dreams onto Haruka, holds funding to the orphanage hostage, says that because Haruka thinks she's ugly, that's all the more reason she needs makeup, and then tries to buy her affection with fancy and expensive gifts. Oh, except she didn’t even give Haruka the pen as a present-- she just wanted Haruka to go meet Majima in her place.

This is a traumatized and very messed up woman who is doing shitty things. If the game just embraced that aspect of her and went with it, I think I would've really liked her character, but the fact that Y5 ended up romanticizing such a toxic person (and honestly the whole idol aspect in general) just kinda left me like

E3. Return: Shinada or Tanimura? TANIMURA TANIMURA TANIMURA TANIMURA. He is legitimately one of my favorite protags in this entire franchise, second only to Y0!Majima. I love Tanimura with my whole heart I hope he's living his best life in a mahjong parlor somewhere ♡♡♡

Thank you for asking!!

[bootlegsymphony]

Being Hopeful [a *personal* Komahina writeup]

*major Danganronpa 2/2.5/3 spoilers ahead*

Someone told me to gather my thoughts into a post so here it is.

Note: Unless you’re up for a challenge to potentially reshape your opinions towards certain ships, if you think Komahina is by default a toxic ship in anyway shape or form, or if you firmly believe that Hinanami is “bestest Hinata ship OTP owo”, it’s not in your best interest to read this post. I’m not suggesting you are invalid or wrong, but you’re likely not the group of people I’m looking forward to having a constructive and evoking conversation with.

First off, I might have been recognized as an avid Komahina shipper, and my opinions towards Hinanami could be generally summarized as ambivalent/mixed/minorly favourable. I was able to acknowledge Hina/Nami’s relationship as of roughly equivalent significance in regard to DR2’s theme.

But it was impossible for me to consider the two relationships narratively equal, I was able to notice that Koma/Hina was a “meant to be” endgame relationship right of the bat, yet Hina/Nami reads as this transitory experience of an obscure puppy love, or “yeah that happened” that’s melancholic and beautiful. Evidently, the narrative strongly favoured Koma/Hina in terms of screentime, development, complexity, compatibility, and endgame potentials.

I wasn’t too confident about why Komahina screams an ultimate destination of a Hinata relationship to me, yet Hina/Nami never convey a remotely similar message. In many aspects, I didn’t ship Komahina in the past for the sake of “I want Komaeda to savour happiness” but placed more emphasis on “it would be wise for Hinata if he could ascertain that his future is with Komaeda”. However I couldn’t elucidate why I thought so.

But due to some unexpected changes in my personal life, it was so effortless for me to reach an epiphany why Hinanami couldn’t quite be the same Hinata-OTP as Komahina. And now I’m kicking myself for not being able to be more adamant about it earlier.

In short, I had a brief taste of how “true bond” or “true connection” functions. It was an estranged, uncharted experience to me prior to that “sudden change”. And in retrospect it’s unimaginable how I survived that bitter life of pure bleakness without it. But since I was able to discern the characteristics of a “true bond”, Koma/Hina, while being excruciatingly complicated and bitter in canon timeline, had a great foundation for that nonetheless, while Hina/Nami was, fundamentally “deficient” in this specific department.

Hina/Nami, either the DR2 or DR3 iteration, doesn’t go beyond being a fine relationship. It’s not bad, as adolescent crushes are typically not bad. It’s functional and somewhat sweet if Hinata was just some normal shy boy who at some point met a nice caring pretty girl. But a great, monumental relationship doesn’t come from being just fine, and Hinata is much more messy than a such-and-such average joe as what a part of the fandom preferred to project him as.

But Hinata wasn’t an adequate rival and foil for Komaeda, that ridiculously multilayered character likely in all fictions for nothing.

For starter, Hinata committed Izuru Kamakura and countless war crimes, for fuck’s sake.

I had this pessimistic outlook that humans aren’t truly designated at birth to understand each other unless they are. Real life Nanami being the talented, worthy Ultimate Gamer she was, even if she could acknowledge and validate Hinata’s struggles as a talentless person, and brought him some temporary comfort and solace, she could not understand the full spectrum of complications the struggle itself entails. Being the kind and somewhat compassionate person she was, she’d try to understand Hinata if he ever decided to open up, but she’d likely just go “yeah talent doesn’t really matter you should just be confident in yourself” as long as she’s not some Ultimate Empath like Makoto (or Junko) all at the same time. To her, Hinata’s decision to Izuru-fy is unfavorable, but not particularly tangible.

It’s somewhat similar to a moderately affluent person not knowing what an impoverished/economically-challenged life entails, they could never understand why it’s necessary for anyone to opt for crimes and prostitution and shit, if you could just “yeah money doesn’t matter you should be happy” your way out of it. Why is it necessary to choose a life path of crimes and prostitution? Why is it necessary to Izuru-fy oneself? It’s the perpetual predicament of mutual understanding in humankind. No matter how sweet and wholesome on the surface that ship appeared, Nanami would hardly ever reach Hinata’s soul beyond skin-deep, if the talent/worth debate, the rigorous societal expectations, the everlasting emotional quagmire of being under-loved and under-appreciated...everything which gradually carved out Hinata’s pivotal character (that we know of) from his embryo, was a non-issue to Nanami at core.

If there was a portion of Hinata yearning for true connection in an intimate relationship (which I doubt he didn’t), his relationship with Nanami would eventually turn insufficient or dissatisfactory, despite feeling nice on the exterior.

Normally, people don’t realize they’re empty until they’re fulfilled.

But who else struggled immensely with the entanglement between talent and worth throughout their life? Who else once resolved to obliterate their own precious being in pursuit of an almost delusional ideal of hope as Hinata did, so that they could potentially speak to Hinata on the deepest, hidden stratum of his soul?

Komaeda.

It always pains me to read Komaeda’s first FTE where he suggested Hinata’s ultimate talent could be “Ultimate Serenity” because Hinata granted him some inner peace “just by being there”. Knowing Komaeda’s mind it’s a nearly impossible feat to make him feel peaceful. Komaeda likely didn’t even consider that a legitimate talent, he inwardly viewed Hinata “being there” as inherently valuable but he couldn’t even tell. Yet Hinata failed to just, be there, be existent.

And, I always considered Komaeda sustaining himself being alive to be a monument on its own, yet 2-5 happened, for Hope, I believed.

I once had a mentally stimulating talk about how emotional and intellectual transparency lead to a solid foundation of “true love” among people with someone before. They even expressed, months ago, that if Hinata could just speak up about his problems with Nanami he wouldn’t have necessarily Izuru-fied himself.

Yet even being the aloof and reserved fucker he was, Hinata wouldn’t camouflage himself in front of Komaeda. Komaeda saw through him even if he was having a hard time deciding on how he should have felt himself. He voiced, various times throughout DR2, that “we have similar scents” “I thought you would understand me” “we’re both miserable bystanders” “I couldn’t see you as completely separate from me”. On the surface it seemed like Komaeda was being cryptic and dragging Hinata to his level, but given how we knew Hinata took even more drastic measures as escapism, were they even that different?

It was why exactly Komahina dynamic was so embittered and resentful in the canon timeline. It was not hatred, but involuntary intimacy. Hinata was emotionally stripped naked (sorry, not to evoke any erotic visualizations, just a convenient metaphor) when it’s not even Komaeda’s intention, and Komaeda’s always emotionally naked. It didn’t turn out well not because it was a fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic, but they simply met each other in the worst, most despairful and unluckiest timeline possible. With continuous manslaughters ongoing, it’s only palpable that baring your soul to someone as dangerous as Komaeda would be intimidating, but it still had that mesmerizingly entrancing aura, especially in Komaeda’s last FTE.

They had no choice of not knowing each other well.

Unless either of them died, which they both did. But an ultimate future was born and they were granted a second chance to finally reach the destination they deserved.

In a post-HPA scenario, Komahina was not only somewhat contextually implied as Hinata’s endgame, but it was deliberately set up as a generally hopeful relationship as well. Kodaka once suggested in an interview that post-HPA Hajizuru inherited Hinata’s emotions, so that he was able to sort out his considerably complex feelings for Komaeda as it left off; meanwhile with Izuru’s analytical skills and insights into human psychology, it would likely become not as cumbersome. With Hinata’s determination and persistence it would hopefully not only cure Komaeda’s terminal illnesses, but also “heal” Komaeda from his hope fetish and other cruddy coping mechanisms, with all the support and dedication Hinata could provide. Hinata, being emotionally identical to his past self, would likely occasionally experience insecurity and low self-esteem as well, and it could require Komaeda’s weird little method of presenting challenges/creating minor inconveniences for Hinata in order to help him build up self-agency and develop infallible self-assurance.

It’s kind of the Ultimate Love that survived all the trials and tribulations, and to think of that the Ultimate Tragedy gave birth to the Ultimate Love, huh, seems about right for our two Ultimate Lucks.

[nightfurmoon]

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE VILLAINOUS LIVESTREAM (October 5th)

This wasn’t a spooky story stream like I thought, it was a normal drawing one, and they answered TONS of questions and it was SUPER great, with an emotional part as well that everyone should watch.

-At 16:32 BH sings ‘in the dark of the night’ from Anastasia

-In the first Villainous short, Flug was going to say ‘7 out of 10 sandwiches get ruined by mayonnaise’, but it was just a pretext because he wanted to hide his irrational fear towards sandwiches with mayonnaise.

-(Timestamp: 57:10) Flug didn’t go to that science expo we see on Penumbra’s instagram because he wanted to. He was sent by BH to showcase the new gadgets of BH Org and to present the vacancies they’ll have in the science branch of BH Org, because they hire other scientists that are under Flug’s command. So Flug doesn’t do everything himself!

-BH sings toxic love at 01:02:00

-1:10:00 BH singing friends from the other side in Spanish

-BH Org has a ‘Hattorney’.

-BH will only sign contracts that he personally made, he won’t sign anything that you offer him. Unless you challenge him to do it, but then he’ll find a loophole in your contract and make you miserable.

-Flug, Demencia and 505 were always meant to be the focus of the show and Black Hat’s in the back, watching them and putting everything in motion because he’s the boss and all. In the shorts that role was switched because Black Hat’s the salesman and the shorts are commercials. In the pilot we see the original dynamic of the show, but Alan said that the more episodes we get, the more we’ll get to see of Black Hat and their daily lives.

-Out of all of BH’s employees, Demencia and Flug are the only ones that live with him, and they don’t get paid. BH gives the other ones somewhere else to live but it’s not that good. He doesn’t provide food either.

-02:13:51 Surprise regarding OCs and AUs. Go listen :3

-02:16:18 This is where the stream gets emotional and motivational, and it goes on for a while. They’re truly sweet guys, I really recommend watching if you struggle with loneliness, making friends, bullying or loving yourself. It’s a wholesome moment and I really appreciate them for talking about those topics.

-(Timestamp: 02:39:40) Flug is the employee that lasted the longest working for BH and he’s the leader of the secret facility of scientists that work for BH. Those scientists are handpicked by Flug at the expo I mentioned above.

-(Timestamp: 02:51:18) Black Hat is truly horrible, and he’d exploit any kind of suffering. He’s incapable of feeling any sort of positive emotion such as empathy, affection, kindness etc. He’s evil willingly because it’s fun. Flug on the other hand can be empathetic if he cares about that person. He’s a villain but a human, after all. And actually, Flug and 505 will need to learn how to handle the constant evil in their lives that is BH, and that’s one of the things Alan wants to explore in the show. Alan: …That’s answering more than I should

-Black Hat is the embodiment of evil, so there’s an embodiment of goodness to balance him like yin and yang and we’ll hopefully get to see him someday.

Here’s the stream, drop by and leave a like, and watch if you can! Super worth your time

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Hi, I just want to say that I adore your characterizations and your interpretation on the 2Doc dynamic — it’s refreshing to say the least, lol. Idk, I’m a sucker for bleak, unhealthy relationships. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been asked this, but I was wondering how do you address the criticisms of 2Doc as a ship, or problematic ships/characters in general? As someone who is involved in a few ships that some would deem as ‘problematic’, I find it difficult to fully articulate my stance on shipping as a concept. Of course I don’t think shipping is synonymous with believing the characters could realistically be in a healthy, productive relationship, but I still find it hard to address the (often valid) criticisms of the ships I like without fear of it verging on romanticization of an abusive or toxic relationship. Anyway, love your stuff and hope you’re doing well! ❤️

Thank you so much for your incredibly kind message! That means so much to me, thank you. And you’re not alone, I too am a sucker for bleakness! This got a bit long so it’ll be behind a cut!

This is an interesting question, and one that I fear has an unsatisfying answer. When I think back on the ships I’ve had strong feelings for, there are a few I’d call uncontroversial, but most often I am interested in human drama; it isn’t so much an obsession over the story being “dark,” but the complexity and conflict that comes from two people having problems, which they may or may not overcome. And there arises the issue: there’s a marked difference between a relationship being problematic, and being problematic. 2Doc is, in fairness, both, and I just try to steer it toward the former.

To be frank with you, the fandom has been fractured for a very long time, and I’ve always felt a bit alienated from both the glorifying of abuse, and from the “wholesome” excuses that arose counter to it. (I don’t try to position myself as an authority or very universal on this, so I apologize in advance, and hope other fans understand that we’re coming from similar places and simply have different paths there.) I think if you look through 2Doc discussions of the past few years, you’ll see a lot of the same talking points about how it was problematic but they’ve since healed, or that it is a narrative of growth and forgiveness, or a similar approach of acknowledging toxic history but refuting that their content is at all toxic. I completely understand why this is the popular argument, but it isn’t the one that resonates with me. They’re not wrong for saying it-- this is fandom, therefore authors are crafting their own narrative, that’s sort of the point of doing this, but-- do I think my narrative is about forgiveness? Not really, no. Do I think it is fair, then, to categorize it with the abuse porn which delights in removing Stu’s autonomy? No, I don’t agree that’s fair either.

I respect those who like to create and consume happier stories, but speaking purely for myself, I think you run a risk when you choose to present an unhealthy relationship as “fixed,” or navigate around valid criticism by saying they’re all better now, or worse, arguing it down. Despite good intentions, it minimizes the longterm damage that a power imbalance like this does, it disregards the responsibility of one or both parties to actually live with consequences for their actions even if those consequences are only interpersonal, and most frustrating and damning to me, it denies Stuart the right to be angry, vindictive, or hurt in a way that does not flatter the romantic tragedy of trauma. I do know that this is harsh, though. I understand that isn’t the intention, and I know it comes from a place of loving the idea of this kind-hearted martyr figure-- but idealizing forgiveness no matter the toll is not a healthy mindset and I don’t see it as fair to Stuart. I do think that in the real world people understand the dangers of guilting victims with this mindset, but this is fiction, and it’s nice to dream up a story of tilling the dead flowers from the soil and tending to it, nourishing it, and growing something beautiful from it. I completely get that, and I don’t fault people for it. It just isn’t what I’m writing for, and so this conversation never really satisfies me.

For me, I find it best not to circle around or try to disprove these points, but rather to meet them. Yes, we agree it is not an aspirational relationship or one the characters should wisely pursue. I think a critical fan reading my stories and attacking the relationship’s portrayal as unhealthy would be kind of a moot point, because I’m not presenting it as anything else-- but it is my hope that the characters are compelling and not merely an edgy, ghoulish spectacle. There are moments in my Sad Nonsequential Extended Universe where they banter playfully and where they share an intimacy that is (to their chagrin) romantic in its singularity, but at no point is the relationship whole, at no point is Murdoc apologetic in a way that Stuart is obligated to forgive. Speaking only for myself, that is the joy of writing, and that is what I come back to these characters for. I feel fulfilled by the unfulfillment, and I feel it is entirely possible to tell a story about cruelty and remorse without chaining either character to a leaden ball of either redemption or sainthood. And-- and this is the big and-- I think it’s possible to do this without reveling in trauma either.

There is a difference between appreciating human folly, codependence, and resentment as ever-present cracks in a foundation, and glorifying, romanticizing, or fetishizing a character’s lack of agency or suffering. It has been hurtful, at times, to feel there is no distinction made between bleakness in service of a story and abuse simply for its own sake.

It doesn’t thrill me to read Stuart as powerless against Murdoc, a pretty and broken thing too weak to escape, and it doesn’t thrill me to read Stuart as utterly benevolent to Murdoc, existing only as a bridge Murdoc may walk across to get to the next stage of his own story. I don’t think Murdoc wants Stuart to be that, either. I don’t think they could ever be wrapped up in each other for so long if he thought so little of him. And truth be told, I can acknowledge that this is now my narrative running away with me, this is something I’m choosing for them based on a characterization and history that doesn’t really exist, and for that reason I can’t fault anyone for finding the argument less than compelling. I can also acknowledge that this sounds a bit grand for a bunch of oneshots about bad sex and substance abuse, so, er, I’m sorry for that too.

Here’s where the unsatisfying bit comes in, about writing and discussing flawed characters without excusing or admiring their faults: I just think it’s something you know. If you ask a baker to tell you when you’ll know the dough is the right consistency, they may suggest you compare it to the softest part of your thigh, but they’ll amend that they don’t really think in those terms: they just know it when they see it. The best I can offer is that I find candor to be essential in conversation, and I think it’s a good idea to worry less about disagreeing than effectively communicating your interest in weighty storytelling. I think being able to take a step back from the impulse of defensiveness, knowing that you are a respectful and empathetic person, knowing that you have these concerns about romanticization and about invalidating fair concerns, is the absolute best thing you can do. Talking is not about winning! I hope this response was helpful at all! Thank you for your question!

[beyond-far-horizons]

To be honest, I'd prefer if Elisabeth Welch alone would be engaged for the live-action series, and not with Aaron (I don't think that'd be a good thing to engage a known abuser at all).

Indeed, I love Aaron’s work being originally a fan of The Dragon Prince and now ATLA and reading some of his AMAs but I was shocked hearing some of the stories coming out of Wonderstorm. So disappointed. 

Also I’d like for Elisabeth to get the recognition she deserves. Even here when we critique Bryke and go on about the feminism of Katara and Toph or the backsliding of Katara’s portrayal in the comics and LOK, most still attribute all the good stuff to Arron and not his now ex-wife. Also there were other writers too. So yeah Elizabeth Welch all the way.

I’m in two minds about adaptations having trained in multiple art forms and wanting to create my own transmedia (multimedia) stories. On the one hand I really prefer adaptations to be faithful, on the other they present an opportunity to depict the story in a different way but with the same heart. The core themes are the key. Certainly I want them to fix aspects of the original like the awkward Kat/aang and M@iko stuff and flesh out the Fire Nation family more though. 

As much as I’m a Zutarian (and I’d love to see more of that at least mooted/hinted at explicitly in the LA) if they want to stick with Bryke’s vision than I really want things made more wholesome with Kat/aang, it can be done. Preferably aged up, consensual and breaking of the Mothering complex that brought down the original for me. Whatever anyone says (and I support ship and let ship) that psychological dynamic is highly toxic esp in a sociological sense when people are imbibing it en masse unconsciously. I study psychology and people unconsciously being turned into their partner’s parents is a huge thing, esp for women that are burdened with a mothering/healer archetype. If Kat/aang was going to be canon I’d much rather see it explore healthily later on when A@ng is grown up and has learnt Guru’s lessons of detachment and maturity, which is what I feel Team Ehasz were trying to work towards given the narrative and mythological cues (again Eastern Philosophy is something I’m familiar with and partly practice.)

[hdnprplflwrs]

(1/2) So I’ve been getting into Miraculous Ladybug,

And let’s rate some ships, shall we? These are just the ones with the most material to work with and are the most interesting and are (as I see it) canon to the show. I’m not including ships where, canonically, one side actively dislikes the other or there was no interaction or a clear definition of a friendship between the two parties. This list also does not include polyamorous ships because there are no polyamorous relationships canonically.

1. Adrienette: Marinette kind of flickers between seeing Adrien as a friend and as her numbero uno, especially as the series progresses. Currently, with season 3 finished, she sees him as a mix of both but would still rather see that he’s happy and without her than with her and unhappy (example: her letting Kagami be with Adrien — also showing that there’s no beef between her and Kagami !!! kinda). Adrien, on the other hand, is such a confused boy™️ about his feelings and him stating ALL THE TIME that Marinette is “jUsT a FrIeNd” is very infuriating, but he never actually sees Marinette as more than a friend because the moment he starts developing that crush he’s already with Kagami and she’s already with Luka. As a ship, they just have terrible timing and they are great friends, but we all know they’re endgame (somehow). 5/10.

2. Ladynoir: Everyone and their grandmother knows that Chat Noir loves Ladybug (as if that isn’t mentioned every two episodes); Ladybug, in the other hand, sticks to the superhero code and firmly roots herself in the friendzone. I know there’s a lot of debate within the fandom about whether or not their relationship is toxic because they both don’t know each other’s true identities and, consequently, the complete picture of themselves. However, in the Oblivio episode, we see that Marinette and Adrien have an incredibly strong bond, as superheroes and as their normal selves. Because they were relieved of all the baggage from their past history (because hello, they forgot it all), they were able to build that relationship rather quickly and show a version of what could be. But in the Timetagger episode, Bunnyx mentions that their relationship is basically all over the place. Maybe with the added complications of Luka and Kagami in the mix, Ladybug and Chat Noir go on a wild adventure through the years, also not finding the right timing like Adrien and Marinette. But Timetagger implies that Ladybug and Chat Noir are endgame because Bunnyx has only seen their relationship up until Timetagger in her present, because she is sent back to the past (this time stuff just makes everything confusing), so she wouldn’t exactly know Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s future until she’s back in her Burrow with the fixed Bunny Miraculous, and even then she can’t tell them exactly what will happen. As of the S3 finale, we know that Chat Noir and Ladybug are still partner-in-crime goals. However, Marinette is kind of moving on from seeing Adrien as a crush with Luka, and we all know Chat Noir will always love Ladybug, so it really depends on their decisions on who they want to pursue a relationship with the next few season to determine their future. 7/10.

3. Ladybug and Adrien: THIS IS TOXIC. LET ME JUST GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM. Ladybug and Adrien both see the other as without fault even though they aren’t perfect. Ladybug has her moments where she’s star struck by Adrien, and Adrien has his moments where he’s star struck by Ladybug. In the Christmas special, Ladybug causes Santa Claus to get akumatized (but she also made the wrong assumption that Chat Noir was protecting Adrien from a baddie) because she attacks first and asks questions after. Her crush on Adrien got in the way of her usual analysis of the situation: if the Santa was akumatized, why is he delivering Adrien to his own house? Her views of Adrien and Chat Noir also affect her decisions this episode: the thought of Adrien being Chat Noir doesn’t even cross her mind because her perception of Chat Noir is so different from Adrien that she doesn’t question why there’s a Catacylsmed object next to her gift wrap and can’t put together that Adrien is Chat Noir. (Idk how exactly to explain it. Does this even make sense?) On Adrien’s side, his desperation for Ladybug to like both Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste can complicate things further. In the Desperada episode, he doesn’t stick to his guns and refuse the Snake Miraculous in the first place because HE ALREADY HAS ONE; instead, he spends MONTHS subjecting himself to saving Ladybug because he wants Ladybug to like Adrien, which is not how the Snake Miraculous should be used, as Master Fu describes. Basically, Ladybug’s and Adrien’s idolization of each other leads to them making extreme decisions regardless of the consequences to others; really this ship is just extremely toxic and I don’t like it. 3/10.

4. Chat Noir and Marinette: Probably the most wholesome out of the Marinette/Adrien/Ladybug/Chat Noir square. It is essentially the complete opposite of Ladybug and Adrien because neither have feelings for the other (in the sense that they won’t admit it). Marinette can see through all of Chat Noir’s bullshit because as Ladybug she’s spent so much time with him; Chat Noir gets to know Marinette better than Adrien could get to know Marinette because she doesn’t know he’s actually Adrien. Marinette also gets to know the sides of Chat Noir he would never show Ladybug as we see in the Glaciator (or something like that) episode; she also gets to know the extent of his love for Ladybug and acts upon the knowledge that she doesn’t want to hurt a friend as Ladybug. Chat Noir is able to get to know Marinette and you can kind of see that he’s began to crush on her (possibly because she so much like Ladybug except without the teasing **coughing fit ensues**). I mean, you saw that eye pop in Evilliustrator, don’t pretend you didn’t. He shows Marinette the surprise he planned for Ladybug, which is already, like, dambro. I honestly don’t think he would have shared that with anyone else. In Frozer, he ditches Kagami for Marinette and he’s getting more concerned about her well-being as time progresses. Chat Noir and Marianette is also when they found out about their secret identities in the Chat Blanc episode, so there’s a strong chance this relationship is going to play a part in the future. 8.5/10.

5. Kagadrien: This is another ship where the fandom is divided. Kagami receives a lot of hate for preventing the Adrienette ship from occuring as well as directly competing against Marinette for Adrien. However, I find her character intriguing. Her mother is incredibly strict and demands a lot from Kagami; she is a master of fencing and I assume she is also a master of everything else Kagami can do while blind, upping her anti. Because of this, Kagami grew up without true friends and into a decisive and brutally honest character. Her mother probably helped enforce this mindset of black-and-white, that if you aren’t right, you’re automatically wrong. Adrien is the first to offer her friendship and their shared experiences of growing up in a restrictive household without any friends allowed for a common ground. I wouldn’t necessarily say that Kagami is outgoing because that implies that she knows how to talk to people; her interactions at the beginning of the Ikari Gozen episode with Marinette demonstrate her isolated childhood as she doesn’t know how to comfortably converse with Marinette. On Adrien’s side, Kagami is one of the few people who look past his model career and pretty face and is the only person who can relate to him and his life. Kagami is also the only person his father has no qualms about him hanging out with and as fencing partners, they build a level of comradeship that Marinette and Adrien (if they never received their Miraculouses) couldn’t necessarily replicate. Kagami has already chosen Adrien and I think she lowkey blames Marinette for Adrien not being able to pick her or Marinette, but in the Captain Hardrock episode, Alya brought up the point that Adrien (Luka doesn’t really count because we all know he chooses Marinette) has a choice to make as well. Really, the only thing keeping this ship from happening is Adrien’s conflicting feelings for Ladybug, Marinette, and Kagami. If Adrien does choose Kagami, their parents would approve of the union as it combines their two strong families (GoT vibes anyone?) and their relationship would be able to flourish. The only other downside as a whole is that neither of them have a healthy relationship to model theirs off of as Adrien’s mother is missing and Kagami’s father isn’t even mentioned at all, but it creates an interesting dynamic of them learning how to navigate a relationship with another person. 7.5/10.

I got five more, but this is already pretty long. I’ll post the next five soon, but thoughts on these so far?

[indige-zine]

Spotlight Series: Creative Disruption

Making noise, redefining language, wielding raucous imagery—these things serve an important role in our collective quest to decolonize relationships to our oppressors, our lovers, ourselves. Sometimes, you have to destroy and rebuild from the essentials.

indige•zine caught up with three Indigenous creatives who use their art to disrupt the boxes   that dictate the way Natives love.

Tatiana Benally

Age: 24

What she does: Hailing from the Diné Nation in Shiprock, New Mexico, Tatiana lives in New York City as a working-class student of anti-colonialist practice, resiliency, and movement. When she’s not freelancing as a media artist or barista-ing in Flatbush, she’s helping to organize events like the Indigenous Creatives Festival with Manhattan’s American Indian Community House, making interdisciplinary art and music, curating the meme page Asdzaaproletariat, frequenting a Diné communist reading group, and much more.

How do you define love?

Love is an organic and necessary connection between human beings. Love is also complex, powerful and is certainly not perfect. There are many notions of love, but the most important love is one that is conscious and respectful of the conditions we are living in.

A noteworthy quote by [political theorist and philosopher] Hannah Arendt addresses the power of an anti-colonial love as:

“Love, by reason of its passion, destroys the in-between which relates us to and separates us from others … Love, by its very nature, is unworldly, and it is for this reason rather than its rarity that it is not only apolitical but anti-political, perhaps the most powerful of all anti-political human forces.”

I find this quote so beautiful in recognizing the power of love in building solidarity and its nature to be anti-colonial. The only thing I would argue is that love is absolutely political in our time. Destroying the “in-between” that [Arendt] writes about, things like individualism and social constructs, could be read as bi-products of capitalism and colonialism. Love is anti-colonial strength in our times.  

In which ways do your concepts of love and creativity meet in your life?

For me, this is mostly observed in the healing process of expression. I often turn to creativity as a way to grapple with feelings of ennui or as a tool to explore the roots of my feelings in times of confusion. Other times, I am just plain happy and the art that I make is then a document of a time that I felt full and warm. The healing power of creation is medicine for the maker and hopefully for people who connect with the art. That’s love.

What’s one toxic thing about romance and relationship you’ve had to unlearn?

The idea that it is cute or normal to be owned by someone (i.e. “She’s mine,” “You belong to me,” etc.) Language and behavior with possessive logic are only another vehicle to integrate colonial notions of property and other outward rippling capitalist-centric lifestyles into practice. From the many recognized and unrecognized Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW) cases, to everyday practices of consensual intimacy being breached in relationships.

Love should be founded on mutual respect and compromise, and exist without power dynamics. The purpose of love is not to be used to cushion one’s oppression, nor as a tool of coercion into capitalism. We need to do better.

What is your most potent practice of self love as an indigenous woman?

Existing unapologetically. There is so much joy in embracing who I am and what I do without fear. It is wholesome and pure and everyone needs to do so much more of it.

Dio Ganhdih

Age: 31

What they do: Dio is an Akwesane hip-hop artist with brash, bold flows packed with humor and wit. Born and raised on Haudenosaunee Territory in Upstate New York, they’re also an educator and speaker whose work centers their experience as a queer, gender non-conforming Indigenous artist seeking community amongst their intersections. They’ve made music with Anishinaabe electronic artist Ziibiwan, Peguis First Nation producer Exquisite Ghost, mestiza hip-hop artist Chhoti Maa, and many others.  

How do you decolonize your love?

With reflection and accountability of my own toxic behaviors. I take my own internal spiritual temperature and sit with self to process past traumas and explore new paths of healing. The impacts of colonization are thick and dense. Without question, colonization confuses the love that I want and contradicts my intrinsic ability to love. I work to unpack and unfold the whitewashing and heteronormative culture I was surrounded with and inevitably influenced by growing up in a small town and Native community.

As a queer indigenous musician, how do you protect your spirit?

I protect my spirit by trusting my intuition and using my powers for good. I use smoke, sweetgrass, tobacco and prayer. I attend ceremonies and carry with me traditional medicines from my people. I work with teas, herbs and plants which offer external protection and vitality as well.

If you could tell your teenage self one thing about self-love, what would it be?

Teenage me: Believe it or not, you have everything within you to provide yourself with the love, attention, and the validation you are seeking. You will never actually fill that void until you learn how to embrace yourself fully. Dig deeper and push past that binary—you got this! Konarronkwa!

Gwen Benaway

What she does: Gwen Benaway is a trans girl of Anishinaabe and Métis descent. She has published three collections of poetry, Ceremonies for the Dead, Passage, and Holy Wild. Her fourth collection of poetry, Aperture, is forthcoming from Book*hug in Spring 2020. Her writing has been published in many national publications, including CBC Arts, Maclean’s Magazine, and the Globe and Mail. She’s currently editing an anthology of fantasy short stories by trans girl writers and working on a book of creative non-fiction. She lives in Toronto, Ontario and is a Ph.D student at the Women and Gender Studies Institute at the University of Toronto.

How have you used language and poetry to decolonize the institution of love?

I don’t know that language or poetry really can decolonize love. For me, poetry and language are an embodied reflection of a living, not an artifact nor a tool as commonly used by Western mentalities. Language and poetry arises from the love and the living, but can’t liberate us in and of itself. I use poetry and language to explore and narrate my embodiment and intimacies, but decolonization happens through what you do, not what you say. I think people get tripped up on that point, thinking that their language will be their liberation, when it’s their relationally and doing/living that is the revolution.

What is one misconception about desire and relationships you wish you’d known when you were younger?

I wish I had known that it was possible to live inside multiple intimacies and not focus so much on monogamous intimacy as the ultimate relational bond. What I’ve learned is that non-sexual intimacies are very powerful and important, as are polyamorous intimacies. I have several intimacies that I’m present in which are love affairs, but none of them supersede each other. That feels really comforting to me.

I also have several deep intimacies which are non-sexual and fill a lot of spaces for me in terms of kinship and care. I think when I grew up, I just saw abusive monogamous relationships and internalized that as normal. Now, I look at extended networks of kinship, care, and multiple intimacies as my safe normal. I also wish I had embraced my bisexuality sooner but I guess some things take time to grow.

What advice do you have for fellow Indigenous trans people trying to tell their story?

My advice to other trans Indigenous folks is to stand in your language, traditions, and kinships, but also embrace your own sense of selfness.

Transness is complex. It doesn’t have to be one thing. It can look and feel like many different paths or ways of being in the world. I think it’s important to see your ancestors in your transness, but to know that you can innovate around yourself as well.

There is still a lot of transphobia around us, but we are going to find a way through it towards a different future. Never be afraid to be traditional, but never be afraid to not be traditional (or adapt traditions).

Sometimes, I think Indigenous trans people get pressured to take up a certain space in the world. But like all Indigenous peoples, we’re diverse and not all of us need to be activists, writers, healers, leaders, etc. Some of us can just chill and support other folks who want to take on those roles. I want to see more trans NDN voices and bodies in the world doing a bunch of things, from every nation, and in their own ways. That’s my dream for us: a future where we are vibrant, visible, and varied.