#texting is overwhelming

[neurantics-theythem]

*me, giving my guest a tour and showing them where the bathroom is*

“…and this is my home office: where I rapid-fire respond to all the 30 texts I’ve been ignoring for 2 weeks, whilst waiting for my neurodivergent intestines to do their thing.”

[cadmium-free]

if you’ve ever thought i’m standoffish, politely distant, or generally hard to befriend, know in your heart that i’m exactly the same in real life. my neighbours just showed up at my door drunk on Canada Day celebrations and told me how desperate they’ve been to meet me for the past few months and then tried to fix the water pump in my basement

[nova-rpv]

a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)

[meltedmush]

Airplaneeee! + Extra Art!

[tummysmoocher]

Having this kink is so funny because You will have a crush on someone and think they are soooooo fucking hot and they will stand there and tell you that they are insecure about their body and you will have to do the equivalent of locking your brain in a straitjacket to formulate a response that sounds supportive and socially acceptable when the reality is that you would commit atrocities just to kiss their stomach ONCE. That, if given the opportunity, you would worship them like they were royalty. And you would do this in both a non-kinky way because you love them and think they are beautiful and wish that they could see themself the way you see them but also in the kinky way where it feels like there’s a feral dog inside of you that wants to sink it’s teeth into the softness of them and never let go. You have to stand there and think to yourself “you have no idea the things I would do to you. You have no idea just how desirable you are.” And it’s honestly unbearable !!!!!

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

jin; i'll be there live clip ✰

[mohntilyet]

i am no longer joking. what happens inbetween the end of wigmaker’s job and about a year before veilguard that makes illario decide the brother he loves is worth less than the seat of first talon

[deoidesign]

[oppysbabydoll]

hiiii!! Saw you do request and i was wondering if you could do mtmte drift x ratchet x reader? (Poly relationship your honor) iam so hungry for dratchet x reader content and theres only so lil crumbs in here, it made me sad 😭

(Depends on you if you wanna headcanons or fic, as long its dratchet x reader pls,, its okay if you don't wanna tho)

of course! i should’ve mentioned this on my introduction but im totally comfortable with polyam requests, as a polyamorous person myself! plus, dratchet is adorable <3 you have good taste anon

without further ado, have some dratchet

dratchet x human reader (sfw)

you’re the first human on the ship, so it’s natural for transformers to take interest in you. everyone was curious about the human. yet after the initial excitement faded away, bots like ratchet and drift still were curious about you

as the only organic, the medic was curious and worried to see how your body worked. what would happen if you got injured? what would he do then? and worst of all… what does that say about him, as a medic? if he can’t heal the crew then what good is he as a medic? so he does checkups repeatedly to better understand how your body function. while his initial reasons are based on his own insecurities… a genuine bond does form

you talk about your hobbies, your interests, whatever makes you happy as ratchet does his checkups because speaking from personal experience… doctor visits are not easy. while ratchet is initially annoyed by your rambles, your passion inspires him. and on cycles where he isn’t scheduled to check up on you… he finds himself missing your presence (he’d rather die than admit it though lol)

for drift… his reasons for becoming close to you r for redemption. as a former deception, he’s done some terrible things against those he deemed as inferior: humans being one of them. by befriending you… he can’t take away his past, but he can create a better future with you. and much like hot rod, you match his energy. unlike said mech, you try to understand his interests, like crystals and yoga

of course, you being involved in the equation doesn’t erase dratchet from happening—if anything, it only pushes them to happen sooner. when drift confides to you, you encourage him to talk to ratchet more, and wingman for him, hyping him in front of ratchet. and while ratchet is initially skeptical of even talking to drift since they’re so. Different they do become a thing

they become a thing and you think your job here is done. unbeknownst to you, these bots want you too! so they make their own moves! drift gives you as many compliments as possible that tether on the edge between platonic and something more. he ultimately confesses with a heartfelt gesture. maybe with all his crystals forming a heart. cheesy but endearingly sweet <3

ratchet isn’t as loud about his feelings but… he definitely is softer in his interactions with you. he gives you lots of soft looks when he thinks you aren’t looking. i can’t see him confessing unless it’s heat of the moment so i think you or drift would have to make the first move to suggest a polyamorous relationship. but between the three of you: resident protector, medic, and human of megarod’s ship, you’re a wonderful trio

[itsdefinitely]

one more doodle for today

[darling]

[bruiisedfawn]

[drawingcrows]

Thank you, Kikiyama

[fbfh]

Could I request a drabble with Dave Lizewski and his best friend who has a major crush on Kick Ass and tells Dave all the dirty details?

OOOOOH SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS. aged up to 18+ obvs, give me a hoot or holler in the notes or my ask box if you want a fluffier version lol

Dave always wondered why girls never noticed him. he figured it was cause he's a quiet geeky nerd who likes comic books and superheroes. nope. it's because of you. when you first met Dave - however old you were, freshman, middle schoolers, kindergarteners - you latched the fuck onto this boy so fast. you've always been protective over him, always had that vibe that says you fuck with him, I'll fuck you up. besides, having a best friend as hot as you immediately made everyone assume he's totally off the market. like, it should be obvious. being "best friends" with someone as hot as you, spending all your time together - you have sleepovers for god's sake. EVERYONE at school fully believes you're fucking. the only ones unaware of this are Dave and Todd and Marty and possibly yourself.

it's at one of these infamous sleepovers that you finally spilled the beans. you've been obsessing over kickass for weeks, constantly talking about him and his exploits to Dave. you just got your hands on another grainy, horribly low quality picture of kickass stopping a purse snatching from someone's video doorbell. you're sitting at Dave's desk while he's flopped on his bed, finishing some homework.

"fuck I want him in my mouth so fucking bad..."

it just slips out, but Dave is instantly hard. he startles, sputtering and desperate to know who his best friend is practically moaning for.

"y-you want who?!" he demands in confusion at your sudden outburst, causing both of you to laugh. you turn the monitor towards him, and Dave sees himself looking back. his stomach does the thing, that flippy jerky oh shit thing from both anxiety and horniness. he is really, really hard now.

"k-kickass?" he asks, his voice getting all whiny and cracking in that way you've always found so cute.

"yes!" you exclaim with a laugh, looking at him incredulously. "come on Dave, you told me about a sex dream you had about our math teacher two days ago. he groans half heartedly at you bringing up.

"I already regret telling you about that." he protests playfully, his voice muffled into his duvet.

"just look at him," you sigh, already looking at the pictures of kickass. "look at his arms... I'd probably cum just from him putting me in a headlock."

Dave nearly chokes on his spit. He's really glad he's laying on his stomach so you can't see the way he's kind of rubbing against his mattress. it's not on purpose or anything, it's not like he's trying to get off to his best friend (even though he has before. like a lot. like he has to clear his porn search history because it's all descriptors of people who look like you) but when you're going on and on about how wet you'd get from being choked by a guy without realizing he's actually inches away from you... well, what is he supposed to do??

"christ, you can see his whole bulge in this one," you murmur, biting you lip. "I have never wanted to suck someone off so bad."

Dave lets out a choked noise, which you interpret as more playful disgust over your thirsting.

"I'm serious!" you exclaim. "I swear to god, he could keep me barefoot and pregnant and I'd thank him."

Dave's hips have started moving faster on their own as he grinds against his mattress. he knows he shouldn't prod for more details of what you'd do to kickass - to him - he knows you're his best friend and that you'd probably think he was some sick freak if you knew the truth, that he's kickass and he's getting off to you listening to you talk about him like that. Dave loves you, he respects you and admires you and cherishes your friendship so much, so why is feeling guilty and conflicted about about listening to you unintentionally dirty talk like this making it feel so good??

"literally, I would make sure his balls were always empty. like, always." you state.

each word that tumbles out of your mouth makes his blood burn with lust.

"U-uh huh," he chokes out, fighting for his LIFE not to moan in front of you right now.

"just one chance," you sigh, "I just know he's majorly packing. Bet he cums a lot too." you murmur.

you're pouting now. pouting over not being able to taste his cock. the same cock Dave is trying to discreetly jerk off just a few feet away from you. he whines softly, praying you won't notice as you continue to look through photos of him as kickass.

"I don't think I've ever been so down for someone," you whine, throwing your head back and sighing. "okay, you can't tell anyone about this-"

you start seriously.

"but I literally got off thinking about him last night, and I came so hard-"

and if that's not the straw that breaks the camel's back. Dave lets out a strangled, stifled whining moan as his hips rut and stutter against his mattress. his head swims as he cums in his pants, blinded by a raw, pure pleasure.

"O-oh god!" he pants, head spinning as he comes down from his high. his cheeks are flushed, and he can't fucking believe he just did that in front of you. he swallows thickly, terrified - and for some reason, a little thrilled by how you'll react.

you look over at him, eyes locked on him for a moment. it only takes you a second to realize what just happened - your horndog best friend got so turned on from listening to you thirst over kickass that he actually creamed his pants.

"You're so gross," you laugh playfully, throwing a pen at him. "I hope you know how lucky you are that I'm great at keeping secrets." you finish, an unspoken promise that tonight will stay between the two of you.

you turn back to what you're doing, unperturbed by the fact that your best friend just came in his pants from hearing you talk like that, chalking it up to Dave being Dave. this isn't the first time he's gotten hard at an awkward time, but usually he just sneaks off to the bathroom or something to take care of it himself. you had a hunch he might resort to something like this eventually, so you're not too surprised.

"Anyway, what do you think his type is?" you ask, swiveling around Dave's desk chair to look at him. your arms are crossed on the back of the chair, and you lean down on them as you look at him.

"Like, from an objective, guy perspective?"

"U-uh," Dave starts with a soft, nervous laugh, still unable to believe that just happened. "I- I don't know..." he shrugs.

he thinks that's the first time he's lied to you. he knows exactly what kickass's type is, because he's looking right at you.

[inobservableuniverse]

"You're right. I should sign the contract."

@inanimateimprov

dialogue overlaid is from one's broadcast, here's a transcript:

G: You’re such a good person. In fact, you might be one- of the best people I’ve ever met. That’s why I- I’m scared. Even if I’m scared about my friends, and I’m scared about the other contestants, I don’t wanna lose you. I don’t wanna be- not here to make sure that you’re okay. I want you to be okay.

T: I’ll be okay as long as you’re by my side.

G: But if we all get erased- how will I be by your side?