#text says “If we get out of this I am going to kill you.”
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NFU
a messy exes/right person, wrong time jegulus microfic inspired by the song NFU by del water gap for my bb @static-radio-ao3 as my thank u for the introduction :))
“Hello?”
“Regulus,” a hoarse voice rasps on the other end of the phone, drawing out the syllables of his name. Rough and low and… drunk. Extremely fucking drunk, by the sound of it.
Regulus stiffens. “James. Are you-- you’re drunk calling me. Again.”
“Very astute. You’re always so astute, Reg.”
He checks the clock on his nightstand with bleary eyes. 3:30 AM. God. Not this again.
“I thought we talked about this,” he sighs, sitting up and rubbing a hand over his eyes.
“We don’t talk much these days,” James points out rationally. “I think I would have remembered.”
Regulus rolls his eyes. Not fucking likely.
“Since you were in a similar state the last time we had this conversation, I’m not surprised you don’t remember. Just so we’re clear that doesn’t make it okay, James. This is— you have to stop doing this.”
By ‘this’ Regulus means getting wasted and calling him when James is too far gone to talk himself out of the idea. And, if Regulus were smart, he would stop picking up when James’ name flashes across his screen.
“Like I said. Astute.”
Drunk James is his worst nightmare, truly. Drunk James is a walking, talking reminder of everything he doesn’t have anymore, everything he will never have again. When he calls, lacking crucial social skills like self-control and any modicum of a filter, Regulus is forced to be the rational one, reminding them both that this boundary exists for a reason. A very good reason.
“Okay. Well I’m glad— it’s good that we talked about this. But this is— this has to be the last time. I’m hanging up now, okay?”
James continues as if he never spoke. “How’s your um— your boyfriend doing?”
Immediately no.
“I’m not talking about this with you—” Regulus attempts to shut him down, but James is nothing if not obstinate.
“You’re still dating the guy with the dumb fucking name, right?”
James knows full well that he is. Sirius would have informed him otherwise. He just wants to hear Regulus say it because he’s fucking sick and twisted. Naturally, Regulus can’t give him the satisfaction, so he avoids the question.
“You can’t think Regulus is a perfectly normal name and then turn around and shit on a guy for being named Kingsley.”
James scoffs on the other end of the phone. “I can shit on him as much as I want. Fucking hate that fucker.”
“You’ve never met him. You can’t hate someone you’ve never even met.”
“Sirius hates him.”
“Sirius doesn’t hate him—” Sirius just wishes he was you.
“Mhm. Told me so. Said he’s a little bitch who can’t hold his liquor.”
Now it’s Regulus’ turn to scoff. “This coming from you right now? You sound so fucked up, I doubt you can even see straight. Not that you could before, but—”
“I’m not fucked up,” James insists, then says calmly, “I just missed the way that you talk.”
This. This was why they had to stop. In his worst moments, Regulus loathes the fact that Sober James all but ignores him most of the time, only bothering to text him on important holidays or birthdays. That is, until he’s reminded that Drunk James wants to ruin him— completely and thoroughly— by the casual cruelty of speaking his mind and expecting Regulus to go on peacefully with his life as if he didn’t just upend it entirely.
“James…” he starts shakily.
“Fuck, that sounded stupid. This was,” James hiccups, “not my best idea, I fear. Rash. Extremely rash feeling.”
“What, drunk calling your ex? Yeah, I would say it’s one of your worst.”
James is quiet for a moment. “You kill me, you know? I-I hate talking to you.”
Rage wells up in Regulus’ throat so fast he nearly chokes on it. “You called me—”
“God, you sound good. You always sound sexy when you’re angry, did you know that? Rougher… hotter. All red in the face and your neck…I can almost see it, if I squint.” James pauses, presumably squinting like a drunken idiot. “Maybe that’s why I called you— to make you angry. To hear you be angry at me again. Stupid fucking thing to miss, isn’t it?”
Yet again, Regulus is at a loss.
“You— I’m— God, you’re a real fucking bastard. Do you have any idea how excruciating it is to talk to you when you’re like this?”
But James ignores him, saying ruefully, “Sirius told me, he always tells me, he says, ‘Don’t fucking do it, James. You always regret it, you always yell at me the next day for letting you call him,’ but he can’t stop me,” a childish giggle bursts from him. “I’m too fast. Much, much faster than him, just for the record. He’s never once beat me in a foot race, and if he says he has he’s a big, fat fucking liar—”
“James, I sincerely don’t give a fuck about that— be honest, did you run away from him at the bar?”
Drunk James will do that. He’s a runner. Well, not when Regulus was around to keep him on a tight leash, but it seems that without him, James is turning back to some of his worst habits.
The line goes quiet. Then, “A little bit.”
“It’s a yes or no question, James.”
“Mm.” He seems to think on it. “Yes, then.”
Regulus tosses his hand in the air, forgetting James can’t see him. “Go back and find him!”
“Don’t want to,” James sniffs. “Tryin to make my mistakes in peace.”
“You— I’m hanging up and calling Sirius.”
“No, no don’t!” James yells into the receiver, making Regulus wince and pull his phone away from his ear. James’ voice is much quieter when he speaks again.
“Don’t, I have to say— I wanted to tell you. I have to tell you that I’m sorry, Regulus. I’m so fucking sorry.”
A pit of dread forms in his stomach. James sounds wretched. He sounds like how Regulus feels when he thinks too long about how far they’ve drifted apart, how little they speak to each other anymore. For one infinitesimal second, Regulus gets the satisfaction of knowing that he’s not alone in this specific shade of misery— dark blue and bottomless. And then he reminds himself that he’s sober and his ex-boyfriend is drunk and they shouldn’t even be fucking talking right now if they knows what’s good for them.
“James, look, you’re drunk, you’re emotional—”
“‘S not what I’m apologizing for.”
“What, then?”
“Everything. All of it. I never—I wanted…”
Don’t say it, Regulus begs silently. Please don’t say what I—
“I still love you,” James breathes out. “I love you so much I can’t breathe around it.”
Regulus lets his eyes sink closed, firmly shuttering the tears forming in his eyes. He can’t let himself say it back. He can’t. If he does…
“James…” Regulus lets himself savor the sound of his name on his tongue. Then says softly, “It’s okay.”
They both know it’s not.
______________________________
James looks down at the number on his phone. Blinks, just to make sure he isn’t imagining… but, no, he isn’t making it up. He picks up his phone, his apprehension growing.
“Regulus?” he asks, unsure.
A snort sounds on the other line. “Hm, fffancy seeing you here.”
James blinks again. “...We’re talking over the phone.”
He doesn’t have to see Regulus to know that he’s just waved James’ words away with a flippant hand. “Metaphorically, then.”
It’s been weeks since the last time they spoke. James remembers very little of that ill-conceived conversation, except of course for the part where he said the one thing he promised himself he would never say again because his brain hates him. It’s played on a loop in his head everyday since, his ragged, sincere words and Regulus’ noncommittal response to them.
It’s okay, he had said.
It was anything but okay. They both knew that.
He had been doing so well, had been training himself to think of other things besides his ex boyfriend and his ex boyfriend’s new boyfriend and what the two of them were getting up to together, all the fun things they were probably doing while James was just focused on getting through his day. On getting to the next one. The next. The next the next the next the next the next—
“You don’t have ‘nything to say? Hm?” Regulus’ words slur. Unusual for him. Regulus was always so in control of himself.
James frowns. “Are you okay? You sound—”
“Drunk? Well, that’s because I am. Royally, massively fucking toasted. Thought I’d return the favor and call you for once. ‘S your lucky day.”
“Oh. I guess— I deserve that.”
“I’ll say. Taste of your own medicine. Drink up, Potter.”
James huffs a humorless laugh. “You must be drunk if you’re calling me ‘Potter’. You never call me that.”
“Never say never, Potter,” he spits out meanly. “It’s never a good idea to say never, remember? Remember how not good of an idea it is to use the word never? My therapist, she says I need to stop talking in absolutes. Never and always. Never say never, I learned that from her. Shame you didn’t, too.”
James sinks into a kitchen chair, burying his face in his free hand, rubbing out the headache growing in his left temple. “You were right,” he admits. “This is excruciating.”
This conversation is making him feel awful for every single time he’s dialed Regulus drunk, the barrier between his thoughts and his words nowhere to be found. Regulus was right. He deserved a taste of his own medicine. He deserved this for every single second Regulus had to keep his cool on the other line while James was busy fucking them up a little more than they already had been.
“Like remember when you said we’d never break up? Or when you said you’d always love me? Hilarious. Really, really funny stuff.”
Regulus’ voice is liquid rage, red hot and acidic. James swears it’s burning him through the phone.
He sighs. “Regulus. Can we not?”
“No, no, we should talk about it. It’s been long enough. We can be rational adults and have a damn conversation. Here, you know what, I’ll even go first. I wanted you to come with me, you know. I should have asked you. To come with me.”
James feels his heart stutter in his chest at those words. “You did ask me to come with you,” he murmurs.
Regulus was waiting for that, like a snake rearing to strike. “Wait. Yessss, that’s right. I asked you to come with me and you said no! Now I remember. You said fucking no.”
James clenches his jaw, his own anger slowly rising up the column of his throat. “I didn’t say no. I asked for some time to decide if I wanted to upend my life and move across the country, which is a pretty sane response to a question of that fucking magnitude. You’re the one who decided my hesitation meant I didn’t fucking love you.”
“Well, it sure didn’t feel like you loved me when you let me leave.”
“Let you—?!” James cuts off, knowing he’ll blow a gasket if he doesn’t calm himself. “Regulus,” he starts, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but no one lets you do anything! You do whatever you please and damn the consequences! I just never— I didn’t want to be one of those consequences.”
Regulus, to no one’s shock, does not attempt to calm himself. In fact, James fears he’s only stoked the flames.
“You are hands down the most infuriating human being on the face of the goddamn planet! Of course you’re blaming me! Of course, like you were just an innocent bystander while I went about ruining our relationship! Like you had nothing to do with it! You had no part in it, no, not perfect James Potter, never him! I cannot believe— I just— it’s all so— fuck!”
His voice breaks on the word and then the rest of him breaks too. His tears sound painful, like they’re fighting they’re way out of Regulus’ body with each sob. He cries loudly and messily and James can’t pretend like the sound doesn’t break his heart all over again.
“Regulus?” He makes his voice gentle. Soothing. “Hey, don’t cry. Listen, you’re drunk. Why don’t we try talking when you’ve sobered up?”
“No, James,” he sobs, gasping for breath. “You don’t understand. I fucked up. I fucking fucked up.”
James sits up straighter, alarmed.
“Are you okay? Are you safe? What’s going on—”
Regulus sniffles. “No, I’m— I’m at my place. I’m fine. It’s just… it’s Kingsley.”
James’ mind goes still in a way that should scare him but doesn’t. “Did he hurt you?” He doesn’t bother keeping the cool rage out of his voice.
“No!” Regulus nearly shouts. “No.. the opposite, actually. I hurt him. Badly.”
James closes his eyes and takes a deep, slow breath. “Look… I’m sorry you’re upset but I really don’t want to listen to your lover’s spat—”
“I said your name last night,” Regulus whispers.
“You—what?”
Regulus doesn’t hold himself back. “He fucked me and I said your name. When I came. Yelled it, actually. No way to hide it. James and Kingsley don’t sound remotely similar.”
And that— well. James has lost the ability for rational thought. “Oh,” he manages.
“Yeah, oh,” Regulus mimics him harshly. “He stormed out and we haven’t talked since. And I think— I think he’s going to break up with me now. He should break up with me. It’s— what I did is unforgivable.”
No matter how hard he tries, James can’t think of a single thing to say to this information. Naturally, Regulus won’t let that stand.
“James? Are you gonna say something?”
“What do you want me to say?” he asks weakly.
“Say you’re sorry!” Regulus shouts. “Say you’re sorry for drunk calling me all the fucking time, for reminding me that you exist, for reminding me I still fucking love—”
He cuts off, but not quite quickly enough. James still heard everything he didn’t say.
“I am sorry,” he says, voice rough. “I’m really fucking sorry, Regulus.”
He hears the hitch in Regulus’ breath. If he closes his eyes he can see Regulus before him, see the pain take up residence on his beautiful face, the way he scrunches his nose when he cries, his eyes going stark red, his cheeks staining themselves pink.
He can see Regulus so clearly in his mind. But he didn’t see what was coming next.
“I-I just want to be with you again,” Regulus cries softly. “I want to be with you, James. I’ll move back, I’ll quit my program, I’ll move in with you like you wanted, I’ll do fucking anything— but I can’t live like this anymore, James, I can’t, I can’t—”
James’ own tears slide down his cheeks silently, falling off the cliff-edge of his chin.
“Regulus,” he says as firmly as he can manage. “Stop it. Please. You didn’t move away on a whim, okay? You’re in an amazing program. You love Chicago, you love the city and the river walk and the Art Institute and that bookshop across from Grant Park—”
“You can’t— I didn’t tell you about any of—”
“I pay attention. I know you love it. And I love where I live. I love my job here.” He forces the next words to leave his mouth, even though they taste like poison. “We’re… in the right places for ourselves. I have to believe that.”
This doesn’t satisfy Regulus. The most twisted part of him is glad about that.
“Why don’t you fucking get it, James? I can’t be in the right place if I’m not with you. The right place doesn’t exist if we aren’t in it together.”
James squeezes his eyes shut tightly. Regulus can’t know how badly this is hurting him. He can’t know that James feels like dying every day they spend apart, that James has applied for over ten jobs in Chicago just to hear nothing back, has looked at apartments in Regulus’ neighborhood enough times he’s saved the site to his favorites bar. Even when Regulus was dating someone else. Even after Regulus had moved on from him.
He's looked at it from so many angles, tried to reconfigure it so many times in his mind, and nothing made sense for them. One of them would always be giving up something, making sacrifices for the other, letting the resentment build.
Even thought Regulus is saying everything he’s been wanting to hear for an entire year...
He’s drunk. He’s drunk and he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Doesn’t know what he wants.
“We’re happy, Regulus,” James tells him stiffly. “We’re both happy.”
Maybe if he keeps repeating it, he’ll finally start to believe it.
“If this is what happiness feels like,” Regulus snarls, “then I don’t want to be fucking happy.”
No. And James doesn’t either.
“You’ll feel differently in the morning. I promise.”
Regulus laughs without humor. “I’ll still want you in the morning. Being sober doesn’t change that. It just lets me hold on to a shred of my dignity and not call you to tell you about it. But it doesn’t change a damn thing. You have to know that.”
He’s drunk, James reminds himself. He’s fucking drunk.
“Goodnight, Regulus,” he chokes out.
“I still love you, James.”
“It’s okay, Regulus. It’ll be okay.”
They both know it won’t be.
#hahahahaha#cooked this up on the drive home (listening to NFU ofc) and knew i would be sitting myself down to write it#yeah i'm gnawing on the right person wrong time trope for these two#the idea that they love each other but might not belong together#mmmm yep. yep hurts SO good.#lyrics from NFU i would be REMISS not to mention include: i'm not fucked up i just miss the way that you talk#and i still love you you say it's okay#but it's not#YEAHHHHHH YUUUUUUP#this is for mil bc she opened my eyes to dwg#and also i love her <3#jegulus#jeggy#jegulus microfic#james potter#regulus black#james potter x regulus black
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Yeah, if someone's interpretation of their religion is so FRAGILE AS FUCK that they feel they have to MURDER someone who burns their holy text, then their interpretation of their religion AIN'T WORTH SHIT.
I stress interpretation of religion, because I know that the vast majority of people aren't going to go out on a murder rampage when someone protest-burns their holy text.
Jihadis who murder people who burn the Quran or draw the Prophet Muhammad are just proving that they are weak little crybully FUCKS who can't take anyone even mildly criticizing their interpretation of their religion.
And all that these Jihadis make me want to do is start a YouTube channel where I paint pretty pastoral pictures of the Prophet Muhammad, Bob Ross style. Not because I particularly care about painting the Prophet Muhammad, but because these Jihadi freaks are so triggered that they would have to figure out whether they want to kill me more because I'm a Jew or because I painted a pretty picture of their Prophet. Or would these terrorist freaks behead me once, sew my head back on, and then behead me again? See, these are the questions that inquiring minds want to know.
Let me be very clear. If you make artwork of Moshe, I WILL criticize you if you give him horns like Michelangelo and other Christian artists did, because St. Jerome intentionally and antisemitically mistranslated Exodus 34:29, which describes Moshe's "radiant" face as he descended Mount Sinai, but in Hebrew "radiant" (koren) and "horn" (keren) are similar.
But neither I nor any Jew would ever in our wildest dreams think of murdering someone who depicted Moshe. At most, we might just say that your depiction stinks, and that you need to do a better job, like we do Michelangelo.
Same with burning the Torah. Now, Salwan Momika burned the Quran in protest, and I am in no way comparing his protest-burning of the Quran to actual Jihadi terrorism. I am using this rather extreme example to show how depraved the Jihadi response to his protest was when they hunted him down and shot him dead.
Jihadis in Australia recently burned down a synagogue in Melbourne in an arson terrorist attack. Several of the Sefer Torahs were singed by the fire. B''H no one was murdered in the terrorist attack, though the terrorists did try. And what did the Jews do? They salvaged their Torahs and got what they could rescue from the burning synagogue, and now they are getting on with their lives as a community as best as they can. There was a fundraiser started for the community, and hopefully they will be able to rebuild the synagogue within a few years. That's the Jewish response. We regroup as a community and we rebuild. We focus on the future.
But meanwhile, Jihadis who are near Jewish Diaspora communities around the world, including Australia, the UK, Europe, Canada, and America have declared open season on hunting Jews. And since we Jews are civilized, what we do is we hire more security for our synagogues like normal people, and we take self-defense classes to protect ourselves when, not if, we are attacked.
So to these crybully Jihadi fucks, I say this:
Grow the fuck up, you stupid freaks.
People will burn your holy texts. People will draw your Prophet. Fucking deal with it.
When you go out and MURDER PEOPLE for burning the Quran or drawing the Prophet Muhammad, it doesn't make you look strong.
It just shows the world that you are a fragile, pathetic sack of shit.
One last (probably) think about Salwan Momika: I do not think burning a Quran is the same as burning a Tanach. (Articles that discuss this usually mention burning a Torah, which- idk about you guys- brings to my mind someone burning a Sefer Torah which is already illegal because you can’t just burn someone else’s stuff, and there’s no way to just buy a kosher Sefer Torah with the intent to set it on fire. Also why would you purposefully destroy a very expensive piece of history like that. No new regulation necessary there, thanks. )
Now, if you’re burning a Tanach or a Quran, you’re looking to offend someone.
But people hand out free Qurans and free Bibles on street corners. They will put up signs about how they are right and you are wrong, so you must read their very special book and start doing things their way.
That is just as offensive, if not more so, than someone burning a Quran or a Bible on occasion.
If you’re out here giving something contentious away for free, you don’t get to be mad when people don’t treat it with respect.
(Obviously- I’m taking into account the policy of the host country here. I think it would be gross for a Muslim to burn a Bible in Iraq, considering that Assyrians are not allowed to and do not proselytize in Iraq. )
How I feel about people burning religious texts has less to do with the action’s ability to offend people- and much more to do with if the person setting the text on fire intends to scare anyone. There’s a big difference in my book between an edgy occasional asshole and a bully.
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I HAD A BRAIN BLAST WHEN I SAW THIS IN THE TRAILER
#THE FORESHADOWING IN THIS QUOTE WAS CRAZY#megatron#megatronus#d 16#transformers one#transformers#maccadam#artists on tumblr#transformers fanart#tf#tf one#I might work on this more#we shall see#text says “If we get out of this I am going to kill you.”#Megaop (because Megatron is bros biggest op)#MOVIE WAS SO GOOD#tranformer? I hardly know her
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call the hairdresser and call the mediator because the way i'm splitting to the fucking ends right now
#babes i'm so sorry about it i'm SO sorry about it but i don't think we can blame this one on the period craziness anymore#i've not even been that mentally ill lately but my friend said we like can't hang out before he goes back to school#AND my sister doesn't want to hang out tn and i'm genuinely like? i'm going to break my fucking phone#like okay i'll just kill myself. whatever. i'm becoming super fucking toxic it's really bad#obviously i don't say this shit this is internal i'm not gonna push for anything that's super fucked#but like. ohhhh my God the rage i'm feeling right now. i need to kill someone#literally why am i like this. no explanation no anything i'm just like this? who fucked me over though like what happened#what's my tragic backstory i've got nothing i'm literally just crazy#he's not even answering my fucking texts anymore like tell me to die. pussy. do it. do it! fuck w me right now#and i was so nice i literally was like. hey no worries how's your summer been what's been going on!#i'm watching more youtube within the last 10 minutes of checking my phone i've almost thrown up and thrown it twice#do you think people try to fuck me over. do you think that's a thing. like they're testing me#if you showed me some of my old online friends right now the way i would rip them into pieces#my girlfriend's been pissed lately too like it's my two best friends riding for me and nobody else#oh he replied fucking great. shooting myself in the head i'm so manic pixie for this i'm so fixing him right now#i'm not he's got a girlfriend. but like. whatever. could've been me & i think about that when i'm mad#i do not like him but me and her are literally the exact same she's just prettier and smarter and i'm more of a good person#not right now though. i need to loop someone gets hurt from mean girls until i'm fucking normal#neg#vent#suicide tw
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All I can do until we see what happens with this election is hope, distract myself, and try to get others to vote, because if I think too hard about it my anxiety and depression gets worse and the voice in the back of my head that tells me to hurt myself and go hide in the woods or something gets louder
#emma posts#I guess I could also try to make offerings as a way to cope#depression#anxiety#the voice in the back of my head that tells me to kill myself keeps getting more chatty#I don’t think I’d go that far though#my desire to do anything keeps getting weaker#I’m scared#I can only do this and think ‘wouldn’t it be funny if we had something else crazy in fandom on the 5th?’#I have a therapy appointment for the first time in months scheduled for Friday#when i scheduled it it was coincidental timing but this might be a good thing#I am also thinking about changing therapists if my long time one feels dismissive of my concerns#I think ‘maybe I should have paid a visit to my family this week actually’ and then I remember that one brother moved back in with#my parents again and I’m like ‘actually maybe it’s best if I keep some distance for a bit. I can still text my parents about stuff’#i don’t want to be scared of that brother and I don’t think he’d ever hit me or anything. but it’s hard to be around him sometimes#he just gets so angry and he won’t get treatment like the rest of us do#he even called my other brother a slur and said ‘he was being sensitive about it’ and I was torn between staying hidden and throwing hands#but he’s way bigger than me and that would have just exilated things#he yells so loud and slams doors and says things that hurt and scare me and I just want to hide away. it’s not good#he refuses treatment for his issues and insults the rest of us for getting it for various issues of our own and he falls for so much#propaganda shit that’s supposed to draw third party people into that conservative fascist bigotry shit#the rest of the family can have totally chill conversations with each other even about politics but he just lashes out and I freeze up like#a scared rabbit. it’s different when it’s brought into one of the places you feel safest#and it’s somehow even harder when it’s your little brother and not your weird uncle#my parents are democrats who are more left than the actual party and my other brother isn’t really into politics#my parents kinda encouraged us to develop our own opinions though and it’s lead to me being really far left and my other brother#being in a really weird position where he thinks he’s some outsider but keeps falling for republican stuff#I know I would get angry for some similar psychological reasons when I was younger before treatment and maturity. but I was 13!#he’s a tall athletic man in his mid twenties! it’s a bit different!#I can see what lead him there. but he’s just been worse about it and it’s scary
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i love being transgender i love doing my silly little t shot every week i am so proud of who i am and what ive done to get to where i am now I LOVE BEING TRANS!!!1!!!1!😸😸😸
#sometimes i feel like im a weird percived combination of ‘experienced’ and ‘not experienced’ in being transgender#heavy on percived i know who i am LAMFO#ive been out chronologically and age wise the longest out of everyone i know im pretty sure#i started socially transitioning when i was 12 yk#was fully ‘out’ (specifically in school) by before high school at 14#and changed my name legally last year and started t this year at 17#but some people just see that last year as me being properly trans#not even properly trans just like. as if i was only starting my transition now#and i dont think thats very accurate#and sometimes i feel a lil inferior to guys in my life who have been on t and have been ‘undeniably’ trans for longer#(boy if ur reading this ur not included like on god but also unblock me lets be mooties i miss you)#but sometimes i have to just sit back and remember i got this and it doesnt actually matter what they think OR even if i was a ‘baby trans’#or whatever#ive been trans for like a third of my life.#like half of my cognitive conscious life.#i got this!!!#and even if i didnt thatd be okay too cus we all get there eventually#that is a lot of yapping for me saying i feel embarassed celebrating doing my t shot every week cus im so early and jts not doing anything#but maybe i can have some fun anf joy in life#and maybe being transgender isnt inherently miserable#on a happier end note#me and my friend had our hrt appointments on the same day and started a few days apart#so we r now transition buddies and yap at eachother abt injections vs gel and what ‘changes’ were getting and its really beautiful#its nice to have community#and people who do not see u as a little transgender infant just cus u werent fortunate enough to go on t at an even younger age#than the incredibly fortunate 17#but hey what doesnt kill you makes you stronger i suppose and i think hrt is gonna feel reslly fucking good after 5 years of waiting#and im so fortunate im in this position and am grateful every day to not only be awesome and transgender but also on hrt!!#yaaayayayayayay!!!!#text
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last day in Rome probably ever
#didn’t see the Vatican or statue of David but hey ya win some ya lose some#I still would not be surprised if I get a huge text from my friend after I leave saying that we’re no longer friends#I think I’ve said all of this stuff before#and it wasn’t even that like. I actively wanted to go home and was sad outwardly the whole time#my posts may beg to differ but I think like three days in it became a wanting to go home situation to be away from here#not back to where I wanted to be#I did go to a few churches and those were amazing every time and the one museum I went to was also very cool#maybe I also associate a lot of stress with my camera#I think my friend is also maybe just a bit narcissistic?? Ik everyone is the main character in their life but like. reminds me of my mom#when she exaggerates how scary something was or how a story only happened because of her#my friend always tells the story wrong of how we met where she makes herself the one who instigated the conversation but it actually was me#and I slightly helped my friend make mashed potatoes for thanksgiving and she made direct eye contact with me and said she did it all by#herself and the potatoes were actively trying to kill her#she also misgendered and deadnamed our mutual friend to her other friends and again I just#I’ve said this before and I know it is fucked but I am thankful and privileged that my gender fuckery is not so extreme that I can be#deadnamed. bc it really is your own people! and sure everyone is learning but!!!#and I also have not always been the ally I need to be and corrected people in the moment#that’s also its own thing of who people are out to so I’ve gotten better about asking if they use their pronouns with everyone or just with#friends at whatever point in their transition. even at that yanno#I think it’s called a red lie? where it hurts someone but benefits you? bc there were also times I didn’t want to have to explain#who is trans to my mom. depending on the day she’ll either be so phony and welcoming or just refuse to get it. anyway#half of that doesn’t relate to my current situation#I also do sometimes worry though if I’m coming off as self centered/ narcissistic if I take up space in convos or if I’m not checking on#people/ if I’m actively making a situation bad for others. the cop out answer would be to say that there’s a learning curve to this stuff#but I still need to be actively trying. I think I need to not be a bitch when I’m planning things bc sure even tho I sometime get stressed#it’s for all of the people I love that also love each other to hang out. what could possibly be bad about that#I’m gonna get up now
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How do you make your stamps? :0
Disclaimer: this is an obscenely long explanation, with pictures. Efficiency is stupid
So, for the static ones, I make a 99x56 px file on ibis paint x. Other programs are probably available online but I don't use them.
After that, I either upload an image I want to make into a stamp, or I draw one.
Then, I find a frame I want to use. Ill upload them here but let it be known I stole all of these right from deviantart
Most of them are from Lil-Devil-Melii on deviantart. The rest i have no idea. They're not all 99x56px but you can crop the canvas it's fine
Make sure to erase the edges of the picture , so they're transparent. It's not as cute otherwise
Upload those frames over your image in whatever art program you're using and viola, stamp.
For moving ones, it's a lot harder. Mostly because I refuse to download Photoshop.
There are a couple ways to do this. Some are simple animations, like with flashing text and whatnot. For these, you download the individual animation frames from your art program. Make sure it's transparent.
Then, upload each frame to ezgif.com under the option "GIF maker." You can play around with how fast each frame goes and whatnot but in the end, it'll be a stamp with some rad text that moves. This is easy, and doesn't make me want to shit my pants and cry. If you're new, do this. This is fun. This is good. This does not kill me inside
I made that↓ stamp with this method :)
this next one is how we turn gifs into stamps. This one makes me sad. It involves math and sucks. But we gotta do it. For the vibe
First, grab your gif. I'm using this cow gif because it's awesome
Then, I resize it using ezgif. Literally everything for this will be using ezgif. I am a simple man
At this point you should decide what frame to use. I'm using this one because its the first one I clicked
Figured out what size the inside of the frame is. That's what I resize the gif to, so the edges can be transparent. The inside of this one is 93x50 px, so those are the dimensions I'm making the gif.
Figure it out by putting the frame into ibis paint and realizing the canvas to fit just the inside of the frame, then seeing what the dimensions are. But there could be easier ways
Woah it's so small now
Then, still on ezgif, I go to the "crop" option.
Make sureeee to upload the smaller gif
press the button that says "extend canvas size", and then put the "width" and "height" as the dimensions for your FRAME. This'll put a bit of a transparent border around the gif. For this frame, I did 99px and 56px.
The "left" and "top" boxes show how many pixels the cropping happens from the edges of the canvas. The formula for finding that is
(width of gif / 2) - (difference between gif width and frame width / 2) = left box
For me it's (93 / 2) - (6 / 2) = 43.5
Then you do the same.for the height, which for me ends up being 22 from the top
This is reallyyy touchy and annoying though
Here's my result , with no visible difference
Okay so THEN you go to the "overlay" option, under "effects." And upload your frame. If the cropping was done right, you shouldn't have to move the frame at all and can just download it
Here's my result:
if you don't care about transparency, you can resize your gif to be the same size as the frame, and then put the frame over it. But I'm a slut for transparency
Anyways. I'm sorry if anything was unclear, it's two am. And I hope this was helpful :) these really are fun to make once you get it down
also if anyone has an easier way to make stamps from gifs, please god tell me
#web graphics#old web#neocities#custom#custom blinkies#stamps#page decor#web resources#da stamps#deviantart stamps#blinking gif#How to#tutorial#How to make stamps#Spacehey#deviantart#rentry graphics#old internet#early internet#stamp collecting#ezgif#stamp making#stamp template#Stamp frames#blinkies
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Guys, I had one of the weirdest 15 minutes of my life yesterday, as if some higher power put me in a jar and shook me around for a very short time and then let me out again.
But before I can tell the story I need to quickly make sure everyone has the context: Kotelet, the stray I took in had 2 bigger kittens and was super pregnant. These are the cutlets 1.0 and 2.0, you’ve mostly seen the second gen as they were born with me. But the two initial kittens went to Danny. They were very wild and we tried to socialize them, but in the process unfortunately one of them got out and was lost forever. This was way back in the beginning of August. The other kitten became Dietzel and recently Danny adopted one of the 2.0 gen to keep him company since we sadly never found the other kitten again… Okay keeping that in mind I can tell my story.
Yesterday around 2 I left my house to go to Danny. While waiting for my tram I was texting someone who is coming to adopt the last kitten. This combined with the nose cold I’ve been having made me a bit inattentive, and I got on the wrong tram. Not too big of a problem, bc this tram also travels close by Danny, I just had to walk one kilometer. A 15 minute walk. What could happen in that time right, I’ve done this route so often.
I get of the tram and I cross a bigger intersection. Open sky above me, as is typical for an intersection. Light goes green, I’m on the crosswalk. Suddenly, and with a loud slap, a pigeon drops dead on the ground in front of me.
I look at the pigeon. I look at the clear sky. I look back at the pigeon. I look back up. I notice the cables of the tram that go over the crosswalk, and realize it must have flown into the cables, and was killed by electrocution. At least it died instantly. Not a bad way to go for a pigeon. One moment it was going “weeeh I’m a bird”, next thing the lights went out.
The crosswalk light had turned red. Normally this would be immediately be followed by irritated honking, but as I make eye contact with the driver perpendicular to me, he also points at the cables and we exchange some “crazy right??” looks while I hurry to the side of the road.
“What’s it called again when people tell fortune by looking at birds?” I think, (it’s Ornithomancy) “the ancients Greeks did it, I remember it from the Odyssey… sure hope it’s not a bad omen!” I imagine a Greek augur predicting a war or whatever when a bird drops straight from the sky and someone going “is that bad?” I chuckle to myself, just a tiny bit nervous, and I continue my walk. Not long to go now.
“Pigeon dropped dead in front of me” I triple text Danny “Crazy. Electrocuted by the tram infrastructure. Super dead in an instance.”
A neighborhood cat cheerfully walks by me. I automatically lean down to pet it, can’t cross a friendly cat without saying hi! It’s a teenage tuxedo.
WAIT.
The cat looks at me. It has a little white moustache. It starts sniffing my boots like crazy.
Could it be…
Squatting on the sidewalk, I go in my pictures folder and frantically search for pictures of the cutlets 1.0 The cat leans against me. I find a picture where the kitten has a distinctive black mark on the back of its otherwise white socks. I stare down.
On the back of its legs it has a distinctive black mark.
“You got to be kidding me” I say. “Sniff sniff” says the cat. He headbutts me again.
I am 350 meters from Danny’s door. Obviously I don’t have anything with me. A car drives close by. I gotta do something, so I pick him up. And he lets me. And I just start walking.
After a 100 meters, he wants to go down again, so holding him in a sitting position, I grasp his hind legs with one hand, like they hold wild birds when ringing them, and my other arm goes across him to squeeze him against my chest and I hold his front paws. He meows a little and bites me so very lightly. He just kinda presses his teeth against my skin to communicate he’s not impressed by my action, but that’s all. He’s still pretty tiny after all.
I ring the doorbell, and Danny buzzes me in. “Bring a carrier!” I yell trough the speaker. “What?? Why??” “Just come down!”
He opens te door and looks confused. “Is that Kotelet??” is his first question, as they look alike. “No, try again” I say. Now Danny’s eyes go wide. “No. It’s not possible…”
It’s been more than 3 months. Danny just starts crying out of shock. I start laughing. Both losing it in different ways about the absurdity of the situation.
We’re in Danny’s living room. The little guy is eating all the wet food he can and promptly passes out. We just stare at him. The other cats are peeking in from the bedroom. I look at its white paws, all grey from the street. He purrs. We sit in silence, kind of forgetting to blink.
“Did you see my text about the pigeon that dropped dead in front of me.”
#cats#kittens#foster kittens#story#the cutlets#my cats#Puree#Danny doesn’t have space for 3 cats but I’m already talking to someone who’s interested
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it must be a sign | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem deaf! red bull engineer!reader
when the two most unbothered people in the paddock combine their joint powers to be the it couple
request sent by the lovely @bibissparkles xx
author's note: heyyy so many of you won't know but i am actually deaf - i am 50% deaf in both ears and wear hearing aids so i love requests like this! (all i do most of this stuff as a deaf person, turning off your hearing aids >)
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 302,446 others
yourusername: you can't complain about the dutch national anthem when you can just turn your hearing aids off
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user1: the way max's engineer is as sick of that damn song as us
user2: turning off her hearing aids makes how bored she looks during podiums make sense
yourusername: it was a banger during the mercedes dominance but would it kill someone to play the australian anthem
danielricciardo: i knew you missed me
yourusername: sure, jan.
user3: her and max signing slay to each other will always be so personal to me
maxverstappen1: gonna pretend you didn't just say that
yourusername: boo hoo babe, you gotta lose something sometimes
user4: babe? are the flowers from max?
maxverstappen1: would rather choke on my own spit and fall into a pit of snakes, hope this helps ❤️
yourusername: rude! i wouldn't want flowers from you either :(
user5: i swear we get into this argument every weekend, i think people will still assume they're together until their married to other people
liamlawson30: stop using me as a messenger pigeon please and thank you
yourusername: but i thought red bull gave you wings?
liamlawson30: do not use a pr answer against me 🤨
yourusername: no comment
liamlawson30: choke.
yourusername: idk what's going on in the red bull junior academy but spit in helmut's coffee not mine
user6: y/n consistently giving all the red bull guys shit is my favourite thing ever
user7: the amount of times the sky broadcast has caught her waving them off or taking her hearing aids out lol
oscarpiastri
liked by yourusername, landonorris and 782,309 others
oscarpiastri: switched four tyres for two this weekend
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user11: you can't distract us with your slutty bike pics WHO THE FUCK IS THAT
landonorris: A WOMAN? A WOMAN? IS THAT A WOMAN OSCAR JACK PIASTRI?
oscarpiastri: yeah i'm pretty sure
landonorris: don't play smart with me buster - why was i not informed?
oscarpiastri: i don't ask to be informed of every time you get rejected in the instagram dms
landonorris: FAKE NEWS
oscarpiastri: okay buddy
user12: i be seeing the sign language book, oscar you are so real for that
user13: that's my king, i need a oscar and y/n link up in the paddock - my unbothered queens
user14: she's in the likes !!!!!!
logansargent: oh we've entered the soft launch phase i see
oscarpiastri: and what?
logansargent: someone is feeling defensive this morning, dude i won't tell i've already kept it a secret for so long
landonorris: HE KNOWS? DOES BEING YOUR TEAMMATE MEAN NOTHING?
oscarpiastri: he's my childhood best friend?
logansargent: there's levels to this game norris
landonorris: @oscarpiastri consider yourself UNDER SURVEILLANCE
oscarpiastri: okay girly
user15: oscar has the patience of a saint, the mystery gal may want to rethink it before having to deal with them all
yourusername
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yourusername: unrelaxed, unbothered, moisturised ✨
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user18: queen SHIT THAT AIN'T SHIT
user19: but this mystery man IS
maxverstappen1: yeah sorry about that... but at least boyfy has made his instagram debut?
yourusername: about time, he's too sexy to gatekeep
maxverstappen1: well i'm not going to agree out of respect for you
yourusername: so you don't think he's sexy? i might not be able to hear but HE CAN MAX BE NICE
maxverstappen1: first of all it's a text, second of all i've been way too nice to him
yourusername: he beat you in padel fair and square you're just SHIT AT IT ❤️
maxverstappen1: you know that's a sore subject WHY WOULD YOU BRING IT UP
user20: my queen was really like you wanna tell me to fuck off? oh here's my sexy boyfriend
user21: jos verstappen really didn't know who he was tangling with that gal may be chill but she doesn't take shit
user22: she's like a female version of oscar lol
user23: i knew there was a reason i liked her
this comment was liked by yourusername
danielricciardo: why am i left out of everything these days?
yourusername: snooze you lose
danielricciardo: I AM AWAKE REPLY TO MY TEXTS
danielricciardo: I JUST SAW YOU PUT YOUR PHONE ON DO NOT DISTURB
yourusername: protecting my peace
danielricciardo: i'm on to you buster
oscarpiastri
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,209,455 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: overjoyed to get my first (proper) win in formula one and even more overjoyed to have my amazing girlfriend (and even better engineer) up on the podium with me
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user27: so this was the special occasion?
user28: so this is why she said she wanted the australian national anthem over the dutch one?
user29: this is now my roman empire
yourusername: babe is so fucking good and i'm so fucking proud
oscarpiastri: i'm so glad to have been able to share this moment with you
yourusername: you deserve this and more, i love you
oscarpiastri: i love you too xx
user30: wait so oscar knows so much more sign language than i thought
user31: he looked so excited and even mark knows some
logansargent: he forced (we were happy to do so) me, mark and his family to learn as soon as he secured the date lol
oscarpiastri: and now we're all so cool because of it
logansargent: cool and able to chat shit without people knowing what we're saying
yourusername: best bit about it tbf (everyone please learn, it's a beautiful language)
landonorris: I KNEW IT
oscarpiastri: no you didn't
landonorris: no i didn't :( i'm hurt
oscarpiastri: if it's any consolation, we didn't tell many people, max and logan are exceptions
landonorris: WHY WAS I NOT AN EXCEPTION???
yourusername: boo hoo
landonorris: i'm not gonna say anything back to that you kinda scare me
yourusername: good ❤️
yourusername
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, oscarpiastri and 529,778 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & oscarpiastri
yourusername: me and a racewinner (and our world champion third wheel)
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user32: fave trio in the paddock no competition
logansargent: logan erasure
yourusername: we love you logan, sunday roast at mine this weekend ❤️
logansargent: SCORE
user33: every time you post there's a new plushie
yourusername: we usually get one to commemorate a big weekend and we both got one for osc's first win
user34: that's so FUCKING CUTE
oscarpiastri: it's all fun and games until you don't fit in the bed because y/n feels too bad to put any of them on the floor
yourusername: they have FEELINGS OSCAR
oscarpiastri: she cried one time when max set off the smoke alarm cooking breakfast and the bed alarm shook so bad that all of them were thrown to the floor
yourusername: it was HARROWING but it also did wake me up so at least we know it works
maxverstappen1: actually my favourite couple to third wheel, but enjoy it while it's here osc, i won't lose again
yourusername: yeah sorry osc it's actually my job to help max win so you're gonna have to wait for him to retire if i have anything to do with it
oscarpiastri: not even for me :(
yourusername: sorry not sorry (i'm really sorry, i love you so much)
oscarpiastri: i love you too even if you won't sabotage max for my race :(
maxverstappen1: okay i know i said you guys are cute but that's enough for today
yourusername: we ARE cute thank you
oscarpiastri: the CUTEST
fin.
note: heheheheh i hope you enjoyed this, i love requests like this xx also on the comment about the bed alarm i had one in uni halls and when the alarm went off that baby SHOOK it was kinda scary
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#oscar piastri instagram au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader
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sometimes I see people being confused where alectostasia ship came from so here's a little bit of run down
I'm not really good with words so it might be clunky
what we know from the text
Anastasia tries to achieve 'perfect lyctorhood', something goes wrong during her ascension, John kills Samael, Anastasia fails her attempt
Anastasia moves to the ninth, continues working on the house or only founding it at that time
John asks Anastasia to help build the tomb 'I built that tomb with Anastasia, designed every inch of it.'
somewhere between working on it and Alecto's entombment, Alecto and Anastasia make a vow where Alecto basically swears as a cavalier to her 'Alecto said, I remember my vows. As I swore to Anastasia I swear to you. I am in your service until you bid me the favour, and whatsoever you appoint I shall perform, and consider the vow rendered. This is what I promised, until such a time as you deal with me as you see fit.'
as John leading Alecto to the tomb, she asks to see Anastasia 'She had said, There are almost no beautiful things left. Where is Anastasia? Let me talk to Anastasia.'
presumable Anastasia is the one to inflict to the ninth house importance of keeping her bloodline and worshiping of the tomb through all of those years
Anastasia's bones are in the tomb 'She looked back beyond, and she saw Anastasia, tucked where nobody would find her: Anastasia, all bones. Not really Anastasia. But Anastasia’s body without the meat on it, snuggled right into the curve of the rock, ready to close the door whenever it was opened. She remembered Anastasia.'
Alecto immediately getting chill after tasting Harrow's blood 'The child was silent; but her blood was on Alecto’s lips, and through that blood Alecto was made to understand what it was, and was astonished exceedingly. Alecto put away wrath and said: Thou art the blood of the tomb-keeper.'
Alecto saying sorry for Samael
the implications
the vow on itself is very interesting, at first we all know how usually normal cavalier and necromancer relationships are. then for Alecto to comply to that, indicates she should be pretty trusting of Anastasia, and their relationships at least somehow better than with other lyctors who were terrified of her
then there's also the tombkeeper blood thing, what serves as a check note for Alecto after waking up, and means the initial purpose of the ninth house was actually waiting for rock to roll away
and one part of the vow seems to imply 'if anyone beside a tombkeeper wake you, slay them as they came to hurt you', as could hinted on a protection from other lyctors who wanted to kill Alecto? (Then Alecto remembered the vow, and turned back upon the altar to face the second child and raised the sword with wrath in her heart, for they meant to bring destruction upon her.)
then the matter of Anastasia's bones laying in the tomb next to the rock. not sure if it's just her skeleton or she made herself a some construct mechanism from her bones. and not clear if she got entombed on her own volition or John closed them both there, but being entombed together five feet apart cause we are not gay
there's also some oddness in Alecto immediately after waking saying she's sorry for Samael, but I won't go into that here, anyway Anastasia was trying to find a better way to lyctorhood and I think in her more close relationships with Alecto she figured out something that John wasn't telling them, before or after her ascension
and some theories
I think I first heard this theory from @/mayasaura, that ninth house tradition of telling secrets while submerged in the salt water could've corelate with Anastasia trying to have a talk like that with Alecto since she feels the most at ease in the salt water, so means pool time for alectostasia too
another one that I really like but not sure how much legs it actually would have in canon, one of the reasons Nona was so enamored with her body cause Harrow is a spitting image of Anastasia, first saw @/corvophobia talking about it
coming back to Harrow, could there be anything more to her taking immediate affection to the Body a la some fuckery with Anastasia's spirt/tombkeeper's blood
more people explained it better, I try to reblog most of the theories in my side blog, you can check it out there but some of it explicit just in case
anyway in conclusion, as I keep procrastinating with my work, I don't think they were making out 24/7 in Canaan house in canon but something for sure happened there between them
#I will still continue drawing them making out 24/7 in Canaan house tho cause who can stop me#the locked tomb#anastasia the first#anastasia the ninth#alecto the ninth#nona the ninth#nona the ninth spoilers#harrow the ninth#harrow the ninth spoilers#alectostasia
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designated driver | charles leclerc
a reworking of an old fic of mine. no warnings except drunk idiots and mentions of sex. you have to pick up your drunk boyfriend from a night out.
Come pick your idiot up, he just started rapping Baby Got Back.
The text had come through from Carlos attached to a video of Charles singing along, trail of shot glasses surrounding him, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you watched the passionate way he belted every word.
You rolled off the couch, shoving your feet into your shoes and grabbing your keys off the counter, answering Carlos with a firm order to not let Charles have any more to drink.
You try stopping him, he’s a menace.
Well you couldn’t argue with that. You tapped in the address Carlos had sent you, pulling up outside of a bar, music blasting from the door as it opened, letting out a group of girls stumbling over their heels.
You texted to say you were outside, watching the door, and when they hadn’t emerged after ten minutes, you decided to go in and get your pack of drunks.
You spotted them almost as soon as you walked through the door, sitting in the corner. Charles had his arms around Pierre's shoulders, the pair now both singing along to Vanilla Ice while Carlos recorded them.
You shook your head as you made your way over to them.
“Am I interrupting something?”
Charles’ gaze shot to you immediately, smile lighting up his face.
“Baby!! Guys, look, it’s my baby. You’re here!” he stood up and stumbled over to you, hands on either side of your face, and you caught a strong whiff of tequila as he leaned close. “You. Are so. Pretty.”
“Thanks Charlie, you too,” you answered as you peeled him off you, raising your eyebrows at Carlos over his shoulder, the other boy just shrugging and gesturing to the glass-littered table.
“Aww, you think so?” Charles blushed, and you fluffed up his hair.
“The prettiest. And you know what pretty boys need? Their beauty sleep. What do you say we get you back, huh?” You asked as he turned to Pierre.
“She thinks I’m pretty,” Charles smugly told Pierre.
“You know who I think is pretty? Kika,” he mumbled. “Hey, I’m gonna call her.”
He went to take out his phone and you rushed over to grab it from him.
“No you’re not because Kika has a big job in the morning and if you wake her up just to tell her how shiny her hair is, she will kill you.”
“Boo! No fun,” he grumbled. “It is shiny though, isn’t it?”
“Super ahiny,” you gave in, pulling him from his seat to stand next to Charles. “Okay, Carlos, you get Pierre, I’ll get Charles.”
“Got it,” he answered, and as he stood up, he stumbled against the chair, crashing to the floor. You watched as he pulled himself up by the table edge. “Woah, Y/N, did you see the way the floor just rose up then?”
You sighed, rubbing your hand over your face.
“Okay, never mind, I’ll get all three of you.” You reached over to grab him, linking your arm through his, Pierre on your other side. “Charles, link with Pierre. No letting go, children, come on.”
You led them through the bar, saving them from a stumble every few steps. You got to the exit when Charles stopped you.
“Wait, wait, baby, this bouncer? Here? He didn’t believe I had the prettiest girlfriend in the world. Can you believe that?” He gestured to the guy manning the door. “And now, she’s here, see, isn’t she the prettiest?”
You blushed, apologising to the guy as you pushed your way through.
“Wait, but he said…”
“Charlie, you’re gonna be the death of me!” you opened the door for him, shoving him into the passenger seat before wrangling the other two boys into the back.
You climbed into your own seat, clicking the child lock before setting off.
“Hey, can we put the radio on?” Pierre called from the back, and Charles reached out before you could answer, cheering as the sound of Bob Marley came from your speakers.
You smiled as they all sang along, and before you knew it, you were pulling up outside their hotel.
“Can you guys get in okay?” You asked, ignoring Pierre’s offended scoff at your question as he pulled at the door handle before turning to you with a sad look. “It won’t open, Y/N.”
You smiled as you clicked the button to unlock the door, and they climbed out of the back of your car. You and Charles watched them wobble their way to the door and stumble in, giving big waves as they stepped inside.
“Idiots,” you mumbled.
“I agree,” Charles answered sleepily.
“I was including you in that.”
“Hey! I’m your idiot.” He defended, and you couldn’t help but nod at that. “Can we stop for fries?”
“Are you gonna order four portions and then eat two bites before falling asleep again?”
“No?”
“Charles.”
“Okay, no fries.”
You rolled your eyes, signalling to pull in the nearest drive-thru, ignoring your boyfriend’s elated cheer.
“One portion, Charles, One.”
“Deal. Give 'em.”
He stuffed four into his mouth at once, groaning at the taste.
“God I love you.”
“You talking to me or the fries?”
“Honestly, right now, I’m not even sure.”
You giggled and he turned to look at you, eyes drunk and hazy.
“I do love you. A lot. You’re so pretty. And nice. And smart. And funny. And great in bed.”
“Charlie!”
“It’s true!”
“God Carlos was right, you’re a menace.”
“Yeah but you love me.”
“Yeah. I do.”
…
“Speaking of great in bed?”
“Charles, no!”
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fic#formula 1#charles leclerc imagine#cl16 x reader
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fine. fine. fine. here it is. DON’T watch this
mp3 download / youtube go nuts my friends.
also if you like this but you also hate it why dont you umm check out my real music i have a new instrumental album coming out soon :D
[video description under cut, written by @starberry-skies]
[Video Description: A parody of the song "No Children" by The Mountain Goats, from the perspective of an Among Us imposter. The video begins with the title "No Amongus Babys" as synth music begins to play. The video show various Among Us screenshots and lyrics with typos and emoticons. The lyrics are:
"I hope that our small surviving crew Gives up on trying to catch us. I hope we come up with a failsafe plot to throw off all the proof they attached us. I hope the wires we mended Start an electrical fire! And I hope we disable the light fixture, I hope the impact is dire. And I hope the reactor a few rooms from here Someday blows up; And I hope that the broken airlock funnels me into space, And I never come back to this ship again!
In my life I hope I lie, And tell everyone you were a crewmate. And I hope you’re sus… I hope we’re both sus."
[Music break, and as the words “lalalallalalallla yayyy” sparkle on screen]
"I hope I murder a witness tomorrow, I hope they bleed all day long. Our crew says there's no one to trust but ourselves, We know too well they’re not wrong! I hope we sabotage quickly, I hope the tasks aren’t over, I hope you vent before I do, I hope we never get voted. And I hope when you vouch for me days down the line… You can’t find one true thing to say. And I hope that if I kill and I self-report, You’d let me just dig my own grave.
I’m in medbay… I am faking a task. You are coming down with me, Scan in unloveable scan. And I hope you’re sus I hope we’re both sus!"
The lyrics end, with the glittery text "i love among us". The rest of the text flashes in with cheesy effects, which read: "i'm noctude this one goes out to kal cabbagegunk he gets prophecies when feverish about among us its normal". End VD]
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Paddock Bunny Series - 2
AN - So, I know I've been MIA but Friday and Saturday I have off so I'm hoping I can get a lot done in those days! Once I get started on the requests I'm sure they'll start flowing a lot easier again! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send in SMAU, text AU, and Fluff requests because I am genuinely stuck right now with those.
Drivers Included:
Oscar Piastri x Lily Zneimer x reader (Lily on FT)
Charles Leclerc x reader
TW - Phone sex, oral (m and f receiving), squirting, multiple orgasms, fingering, protected sex
WC - 4.7K
Y/N POV
"Driver's room 15 minutes"
I see a text saying from Oscar making m
e smirk slightly. The Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix wrapped up about an hour ago and seeing Oscar moving through the garage before going into the media pen I knew he was upset with losing 2 places during the race.
While about half of the grid knows about what happened between Lando, Carlos and I, Charles has been the only new driver to be bold enough to invite me over until now.
Once the 15 minutes of socializing with some of the engineers is up I slowly make my way to where both the drivers rooms are. When Lando sees me in the hallways he sends me a quick smirk.
"Oscar actually listened to me?" Lando says when I pass him going to the door with 81 on the front.
"You suggested me to him?" I ask a little surprised not thinking Lando would be the one to start encouraging other drivers.
"Only him and only today. He was upset with his results. He needed a pick me up and I knew if I didn't encourage him he would absolutely never message you," Lando replies back making me laugh softly and shake my head.
"Stop talking about me like I can't do anything for myself," Oscar says while opening the door and looking at Lando.
Lando doesn't get another word in before Oscar's hand is wrapped around my wrist while he pulls me into his drivers room before closing the door and locking it so no one can disturb us.
"Oscar, I don't mean to kill the mood before it's even been set but what about Lily?" I ask softly. I knew he was in a long term relationship and I be damned if I'm the reason they split.
"She knows. I told her before I even texted you," Oscar replies back making a me cock my head to the side a bit surprised.
"She said you're my only pass, even joked that she wants to join next time. But if I'm honest I don't think it was a joke, I know she has a massive girl crush on you," Oscar says with a slight laugh falling from his lips but leaving me slightly shocked. It had never once been a secret that I was bi sexual but I thought one of the wags would even know who I was.
"Well, maybe if she really wants that maybe we could set it up," I say with a soft shrug of my shoulders before walking towards Oscar and softly placing my hands around his neck and pulling him closer making his breath hitch slightly.
"Fuck," Oscar gasps slightly when my words sink in making me smirk slightly.
"What do you want today?" I ask softly while looking up at him making him look down and stare at my lips before he crashes his down on mine making me moan out in shock.
I feel Oscar's hands trail down to my waist where he squeezes my hips slightly making me moan which he takes advantage of by slipping his tongue into my mouth letting me taste him.
I feel Oscar slowly moving up towards the small hard couch where he slowly sits down pulling me towards him and into his lap forcing me to straddle around his waist.
Oscar was still in his racing suit and with his hanging around his waist it wasn't hard to push them down enough to reach into his fireproofs and briefs to fetch out his already throbbing cock.
"Shit," Oscar hisses when my fingers firmly wrap around his cock and slowly start jerking him off. He was girthy as fuck and I knew it was gonna make me a few extra seconds to fully wrap my lips around my cock but I don't waist time getting onto my knees in front of Oscar.
"What are- fuck," Oscar starts talking but is quickly cut off when I take a slow lick from the base of his cock to his leaking tip before I slowly start wrapping my lips around his cock and try to relax my jaw enough to take more of his cock.
Once my mouth is as stuffed as I can get it I look up to find Oscar already staring down at me with wide eyes. I slowly start pulling off his cock making Oscar throw his head back with a moan.
"Sorry I can't take more," I admit softly once I've pulled back making Oscar look down at me with a stunned look.
"I don't give a fuck," Oscar says seriously before his hands are tangled in my hair once again pushing me towards his cock.
Once my lips are wrapped around his cock I start bobbing my head on his cock making a chorus of moans leave Oscar's mouth.
Learning different things about each of the boys might become my favorite thing.
Lando is more submissive even if he tries to be dominant. I know the truth and I'm determined to get him to let me dominate him so he realizes how good it can be.
Carlos is dominant like no ones business. He has a big cock and knows how to use it properly. So far he's the adventurous one loving to try different positions, different places, anything he can do to switch it us he'll try it.
Charles, well he's just a sweetheart. I've only been with him once and he was more about my pleasure than his.
And now little Oscar, the baby of the paddock, is noisy. From the moment his lips touched mine little gasps and moans have not stopped.
I could tell Oscar was getting close which has me speeding up my actions slightly which has Oscar's hands gripping my hair hards and pushing me down even more making me gag slightly.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," Oscar groans trying to pull me off his cock to not cum in my mouth but I seal my lips around his tip and use my tongue to tease him.
"Fuck, fuck fuck," Oscar chants between breathless moans before I feel a jet of cum hit the back of my throat before another and another filling my mouth up to the brim making me swallow still while he's cumming.
By the time he was finished cumming he had filled my mouth with his cum once again making me swallow again.
So not only was Oscar vocal he was also a cummer. Like a lot of cum.
"I didn't think you would swallow otherwise I would've given a warning about how much I cum," Oscar tells me with a blush creeping up on his cheeks clearly slightly embarrassed.
"Oscar, that was the hottest thing ever! Please do not feel bad," I tells him softly while climbing back into his lap.
"Are you sure?" He asks while running his hands up and down my back softly. I just nod my head and place a soft kiss on his cheek making Oscar take my chin in one of his hands and softly pulling me down for a kiss.
"I wanna repay the favor," Oscar softly mumbles against my lips making me smile softly and nod.
As Oscar's lips start trailing down my neck I hear his phone go off making him throw his head back with a groan before reaching over to silence it before we both see Lily's bright smile lighting up on screen. I can tell her contact picture is older because of how young she looks but she's got the same wide smile.
"Answer it," I tell him softly starting to climb off his lap making him tighten his grip on my hip keeping me from getting up.
"Hey, love," Oscar smiles into the camera.
"Hi! Just wanted to see how it went with Y/N?" Lily asks with a clear giddiness in her voice, excited to hear about what happened.
"How about you ask her?" Oscar says back with a slight smirk playing on his lips and when the camera phone turns towards me I see the wide eyed look on her face clearly not expecting me to still be near.
"Hi Y/N! Um- well hi," Lily says making a small laugh fall from my lips. I could see how this whole situation would be strange for her. I mean I was in Italy sitting in her boyfriends lap while she's somewhere in the UK alone.
"Hi, well Lily, your Oscar has been amazing. Thank you for sharing," I tell her softly feeling a blush creep onto my cheeks.
"Of course, I really hope I didn't interrupt anything, I was just too excited to wait any longer," Lily admits making me smile.
"If I knew you were this excited I would've made him Facetime you," I tell her softly while sending a teasing glance towards Oscar who has a satisfied look on his face.
"However I do think my job here is done, your man is tapped out," I giggle while flashing the camera back to Oscar.
"No, we in fact are not done and I am not tapped out," Oscar says quickly while sitting up and pulling me closer.
"Lily go get your vibrator," Oscar says while taking the phone from my hand. I feel the energy shift making me sit up a bit straighter. In a split second Oscar went from half asleep and ready for a nap to whatever is about to happen.
"Osc-" Lily says softly.
"Oscar, if she's not comfortable with this it's okay," I tell him making him shake his head.
"Lily, I know you wish you could be here right now so this is the best I can give you. Strip down and get your vibrator. I know you're fucking soaked already," Oscar tells her. I can hear her getting up out of bed and the sound of clothes hitting the floor before a drawer is opened and slowly closed shortly after.
"I'm gonna give Y/N the phone. You tell her if you want the camera facing her or me," Oscar tells her softly before handing me the phone. Lily had the phone angled just on her face so I can't see more than just her bare shoulders but knowing that she was completely bare was enough to be a complete turn on.
Before I get a chance to do anything Oscar is pulling the phone out of my hand again before he placing it on the couch so it can face the room before standing us up and pulling our bodies into the view.
Oscar slowly unzips my dress while the both of us stare into the camera where I see Lily's cheeks heat but regardless I hear the familiar sound of a vibrator being clicked on before I see a look of relaxation spread across Lily's face.
"Lily what are you doing?" Oscar asks sternly making Lily's eyes open again before she blushes and flips the camera making me gasp slightly as the slightly.
Lily's legs are spread open and while I can't see more than her bare pussy and vibrator clearly on her clit it was enough to make my knees weak.
"Lily, you're quite impatient today," Oscar smirks while slowly pushing my dress down revealing my tits to Lily making her gasp slightly.
"She's so pretty," I hear Lily mumble softly before flipping the camera back to her face showing the bright smile she has across her blushing face.
"She is isn't she," Oscar replies softly while running his fingers along my sides making a goosebumps spread across my skin.
"Lily that's all you," I reply softly before I feel Oscar slowly pulling my thong down my legs letting me step out of it before he discards it somewhere in the room.
Once I was stripped down Oscar pushes me towards the bed again making me grab the phone and wait for Oscar's next instruction.
"Go on, You know what to do," Oscar tells me while gesturing towards the couch making me sit down slowly before laying down and spreading my legs.
"Fuck, you're soaked," Oscar says while still standing but staring at my dripping core.
Once Oscar climbs onto the couch I flip the camera so Lily and can see what he's doing.
Once Lily's eyes open again I see her gasp at the sight in front of her. Her boyfriend is in-between my thighs looking up at the camera before I feel his tongue on my clit making me moan and arch my back at how much I need this right now.
"Oscar," I moan using my free hand to grip into his hair.
I hear another click on through the phone letting me know she had turned the vibrator up higher.
"Fuck, Oscar I'm not gonna last long. I may have played a bit before I called," Lily admits before she flips the camera so I can see what's she's doing.
"Mm, show Y/N how wet you are and maybe I'll let you cum," Oscar says into the camera with a smirk before Lily moves around slightly before propping the phone on a pillow before spreading her thigh again. I let out a shocked gasp at the sight in front of me.
"Fuck, she's fucking soaked Oscar," I tell him softly making Oscar take the phone from my hand to catch a sight of his girlfriend before groaning.
"God you're fucking beautiful," Oscar tells her making me smile softly before Oscar angles the phone onto my body where Oscar shoves two fingers deep into my pussy making a me whimper at the feeling.
"Fuck, she's soaked too," Lily mumbles.
"Dildo or vibrator Lily?" Oscar asks little making Lily pick up the dildo and show the camera.
"Oscar, is that your dick?" I ask a bit stunned when I recognize the thick uncut cock making Oscar smirks down at me.
"You want one too?" Oscar says with a smirk making me laugh softly but it's cut off when Oscar starts finger fucking me harder making me whimper and moan at the intense feeling starting to spread across my body.
Oscar hands me the phone back to I can see Lily cumming but made sure I kept the phone angled on my pussy so she could see when I came.
"I want you guys cumming together," Oscar tells us sternly making Lily whimper clearly closer to the edge than me.
"Please, Y/N cum for Oscar," Lily says softly making a me whimper at her words before Oscar brings his free hand down to my clit where he starts teasing it.
"Fuck Oscar I'm gonna cum," I whimper making Oscar speed his actions up slightly before he starts counting down from 5.
"5"
"4"
"3" Oscar continues fingering me while both Lily and I's moans start growing in volume clearly getting far to close to the edge.
"Oscar I'm gonna cum," Lily whimpers.
"Fucking hold it! Be a good girl," Oscar tells her sternly.
"2" Oscar continues his counting.
"1, cum for me," Oscar tells us both instantly sending both Lily into a squirting orgasm with a load moan.
"Fuck Oscar!" Lily and I both moan the same thing making Oscar smirk slightly knowing he had just made two girls cum at the same time in completely different countries as each other.
"Fuck, Oscar she soaked the bed," I tell him softly while watching Lily ride her orgasm out before I see her slowly slip the dildo out of her pussy before he body went limp in relaxation.
"I mean you soaked the couch and me," Oscar replies back with a smirk making me look down and realize just how much I had cum too.
"Fuck that was good," Lily finally says something while showing her face on camera again.
"Give her aftercare and call me after please," Lily tells him softly making Oscar grab the phone and talk to her for a few seconds before he says his good byes and turns his attention back to me.
I was already back in my dress searching around the room for my panties.
"I have a shower," Oscar tells me while looking at my pleasure sliding down my thighs.
"It's okay, I just don't know where my thong is," I tell him softly making him smile and shrug his shoulder.
"Oscar don't be a weirdo give em back," I tell him while holding my hands out while he groans and reaches into his pocket and pulling them out.
"How did I miss that," I say while he helps me step into them. Once they're pulled up on my hip Oscar sends a teasing rub to my clit for a few seconds making me moan out softly. His actions stopped as quick as they started making me whimper at the loss of contact.
"That was mean," I mumble against his lips before kisses him.
"Just like making me give them back," he smirks back before placing another kiss on my lips.
Oscar pulls away and finds a shirt on the ground before approaching me again and wiping my thighs down.
"I can't make you shower but I refuse to send you back into the garage with your cum leaking down your thighs," Oscar tells me softly before standing up and looking at me.
"Go make sure Lily is okay, please. This is a weird situation for her, and I don't want to ruin a friendship with her over a heat of the moment situation," I tell him softly making Oscar laugh slightly.
"This was her idea. I had told her about the little group chat Lando had thrown me in this weekend and I explained the whole situation and she admitted that she thought it would be hot if I found a way to join," Oscar admits softly making a me laugh a little.
"So Lando was right in a way. You weren't gonna do this without some encouragement," I joke making Oscar groan but none the less nod his head in confirmation.
"Can we do this again sometime?" Oscar asks softly making me laugh a little and nod.
"Whenever you or Lily want. You don't have to put her in the big group chat but I'd love to have one with you, her and I if that was okay," I tell him softly making a bright smile spread across his face before he nods his head.
"I'll talk to her and we'll work something out," Oscar tells me before placing a soft kiss on my lips and walking me to the door where I slipped back into the garage after making sure the coast was clear.
It wasn't even 5 minutes later when I got a new text from Oscar saying hi. When I open the message I Oscar had thrown Lily and I into a group chat.
*image attached*
"Thank you for that!"
I read the message and look at the picture to notice her soft pink sheets covered in her orgasm the same way I had covered Oscar's race suit and couch.
It only a week later when a knock at the door sounds through my apartment. I'm currently on the phone with one of my best friends which has me quickly telling her good bye and I loved her before I made my way to the door and checked through the peephole before opening the door for Charles.
"How can I help you today," I ask with a sarcastic tone given that Charles had pushed his way through the door without an invite.
"Please, I'm so fucking stressed right now with Monaco this weekend I just need a release, please," Charles says in a hurried breath making a smile crack out on my face.
"No," I tell him with a straight face and a smirk.
"What! WHy not please! I really just need to get my mind off of this weekend for just an hour or so," Charles says getting increasingly more anxious.
"Charles, you need to focus on this weekend. These emotions are good. I refuse to be a distraction okay. If you win on Sunday you can come stroming into my apartment some time next week and I'll make sure to give a reward," I tell him softly while pulling him in for a hug and place a soft kiss on his cheek which turns slightly red under my touch.
"Y/N- you know what, the wait will be worth it and when I win Monaco I'm gonna have you cumming so fucking hard you can't think straight," Charles says with a final nod before pulling me back into his arms for a hug before he made his way back to the front door.
"Don't let anyone else touch you for the next week. I want you desperate," Charles says with a bright smirk on his face making me laugh and shake my head softly.
The second the front door of my apartment is closed behind Charles I receive a text when I check it I see that Charles had wasted no time in letting the rest of the boys know how off limits I was until he won Monaco.
It's Monday not even 10 in the morning when a loud knock rings through my apartment making me check to see who it was before opening the door to Charles.
"Get in your room, please, I can't wait a second longer to taste you," Charles says before I can even get a word in.
"Hey Charles, slow down. Congradulation," I say while closing the door before pulling Charles into me and placing a kiss on his lips.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it. It took everything in me not to jump you at the club last night," Charles admits making me laugh and shake my head slightly.
Lando had made it his mission to piss Charles off the whole week when he declared me as off limits. While Lando respected Charles's wishes the same way everyone respected each other he made it a goal to rile Charles up as much as possible and last night in the Monaco club where we were celebrating Charles Lando had pulled me into his lap and made sure every feathered kiss along my jaw or neck was explicitly seen my Charles.
"You could've. I did say after you won Monaco I was all yours. Speaking of club, how the fuck are you awake right now. You were fucking plastered when I brought you and Alexandra up to your place," I tell him softly while he busies himself with placing soft kisses all along my jawline.
"I had good motivation," he tells me simply with a smirk.
Alex and Charles had a very open relationship. Like so open we all knew it was open before this little arrangement became a thing. I mean hell Alex and I had spent a few nights together long before Charles ever got the chance.
"Okay no more talking, your room now, please," Charles says sternly before adding in a sweet please.
I make my way into my room with Charles following closely behind and the second I'm in the room Charles is pulling my sleep shirt off a long with pulling my black leggings down my legs leaving me in my Ferrari red thong I put on when I woke up knowing there was a good chance today was when Charles would be knocking on my door.
"Fuck, I wish I could see you in red more," Charles groans when he sees the thong.
"Mmm I only wear red for Carlos," I say with a smirk knowing how Carlos getting his hands on me before Charles is the only thing Charles is 'jealous' about.
Charles just sends me a dirty look before sending down a harsh slap down on my ass making me whimper at the sting.
"Oh, so first it was Lando all week not knowing how to keep his hands to himself and now you want to go and say stupid things," Charles says with a smirk before picking me up and bringing me to my bed were he plops me down and instantly spreads my legs before sending a slap down on my pussy making a me jump and whimper at the sudden stinging sensations.
"I haven't even touched you and I can tell your soaked," Charles says down at me before moving my things to the side to find my pussy absolutely dripping for him.
"Fuck, so fucking gorgeous," Charles groans before leaning down and taking a small lick through my folds making me gasps when the tip of his tongue grazes my pussy.
"I'll be here for the next hour so you better make yourself comfortable," Charles mumbles into my pussy before he starts eating me out like there's no tomorrow.
It doesn't take long for Charles to bring me over the edge. After going a week without touching myself or any of the boys I was desperate and ready.
"Fuck, CHarles," I moan as I cum on his tongue. Charles makes no attempt at stopping, if anything he sped up his actions making me scream out slightly.
Another 3 orgasms later Charles is finally pulling his drenched face away from my overstimulated pussy clearly being serious about spending the next hours between my thighs because when I turn my head slightly I see the clock just after 11 in the morning.
"Color?" Charles asks while giving me a look of concern when he sees my blissed out state.
Once the group chat started to grow we all started setting ground rules, and almost instantly Carlos had implemented a safe word system as well as a hand signal in case I can't speak, knowing that while right now it was fairly Vanilla there would come a time it was in fact not vanilla and they all agreed that this was meant for my pleasure just as much as theirs.
"Green," I reply softly making Charles smile slightly up at me before he's stripping out of his clothes and grabbing a condom out of my night stand where he finds my vibrator making me look at it in horror and shake my head knowing what he was thinking.
We had also made an agreement that we will always use protection unless it was a private arrangement and conversation
"You mean you didn't touch yourself at all this last week?" Charles asks with a smirk on his face.
"No, you weren't super clear so I just didn't touch at all," I tell him softly making him smirk before putting it back into the drawer and finally grabbing the condom before ripping it open and rolling it on his cock.
Once it was fully on he slowly slides in making both of us moan in contentment before he almost instantly starts thrusting into me no longer being able to restrain himself.
"Fuck, Charlie," I moan when he starts hitting my sweet spot over and over again.
"Fuck, you're so beautiful taking me," Charles grunts softly while looking down at me making me moan at his praise.
Charles was filling me up in the best way and I can already feel another orgasm starting to build and I can tell Charles isn't far behind. 'Charles was filling me up in the best way and I can already feel another orgasm starting to build and I can tell Charles isn't far behind.
"Fuck," Charles grunts while throwing his head back before letting out a finally groan of pleasure before cumming with a final thrust sending me over the edge to the feeling of Charles filling the condom up.
"Charlie," I gasp out while he softly thrusts into me helping me ride out my orgasm.
Once we have both come down from our highs Charles slowly pulls his cock out of me before tying off and throwing the condom in the trash before coming back into the room from my bathroom with a warm towel he used to wipe me down softly before climbing into bed and pulling me into his chest.
"I'm gonna fall back to sleep," I mumble against his skin making Charles giggle softly.
"Okay, when Alex wakes up she's gonna grab us all lunch if that's okay," Charles tells me softly making a me nod against his chest before letting sleep consume my body.
#formula 1#f1#f1 x you#f1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one imagines#f1 smut#formula 1 smut#formula one smut#lando norris#Charles Leclerc#Oscar Piastri#ln4#mclaren#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#cota 2024#austin gp 2024#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles lecrelc#cl16#cl16 one shot#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 x you#CL16 smut#Charles leclerc smut#formula one x reader
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Cramps | s.r
who? spencer reid x fem!reader
category: fluffy fluff
summary: you stained spencer's bed sheets and clothes and think he's going to be mad but you couldn't be more chill about it
based on: MY PERIOD CRAMPS WERE KILLING ME BAHAHAHAHA
word count: 685
a/n: i stained my bedsheets during my afternoon nap the other day and i wished i had a spencer to take care of me because my cramps are BRUTAL (and i'm just a sucker for period fics overall lol) @angellic4l my beautiful proofreader, our baby is here.
t.w: mention of blood and very briefly a knife wound
The sound of the shower running awoke you and even in your sleepy state, you smiled because that was a sign that Spencer was already home.
You sat up and that’s when you saw the bags of groceries that were plopped beside the bedroom door, one was from your favorite take-out place, and the other from the corner store down the street, you knew for sure that it contained all the treats you love and your smile widened when you realized that Spencer knew everything you needed just from reading the text you sent a few hours ago
-these cramps are killing me. going for a nap, don’t wake me up when you get home-
You were already opening the package of Sour Patch Kids when you noticed the brownish-red stain in the spot where you had woken up. You instinctively looked down at your sweatpants, Spencer’s sweatpants, and surely, a stain in the same shade of red could also be found there.
“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…” you grunted
“Is everything okay angel?” your boyfriend inquires getting out of the bathroom with wide eyes
“No, oh my god your bed sheets, oh god”
“My, my bed sheets? What’s wrong with them?” he asks but his eyes have already landed on the stain and a relived ‘oh’ escapes his lips
“Baby I thought something had happened; you scared me for a moment,” he said with a slight smile.
“No, something did happen, did you not see your sheets? And also, your sweats,” you say pointing down “Oh god they look disgusting” you spit out.
“Oh no, don’t say that angel,” he says reaching for your hand but you take a step away and start talking again
“I destroyed them, Spence. It looks horrible. They looked expensive too,” you say, pointing at both the bed and the pants. That stain is so huge, too. It probably reached your mattress,” you say, your face contorting into an emotion Spencer can’t describe.
“What no, you didn’t destroy them, they will be perfectly fine after a wash or two”
“Spence that blood literally came from inside me,” you say with an overly serious tone
“Well, it would be concerning if it had come from anywhere else angel” he says, a smirk tugging at his lips
“Haha, what a perfect time to curate your humour doctor,” you say trying to hide a chuckle because this is one of the occasions where Spencer was funny.
“But seriously it’s not a problem angel I don’t care about the sheets, or the pants, at all. I can literally think of more than 30 ways to clean off those stains.” He says pulling you into a hug.
“Are you sure you’re not completely and utterly disgusted by my bodily fluids?” you ask smiling.
“Not at all, I see too much blood daily to be disgusted by that” he replies looking down at you
“But I mean, that’s period blood, it’s different from blood from like a knife wound or something like that,” you say still looking up at him
“And? Seeing period blood is actually better angel” he says while resting his chin atop your head.
“Are you sure?” you ask with a slightly unbelieving tone
“I am completely sure,” He said leaving a kiss on your forehead “So, how are your cramps? I got you ibuprofen”
“Oh, I left some last time I was here and I have some in my bag too, but thank you, Spence”
“No problem angel,” he stated as he got away from the hug “Now go take the bath I prepared for you, while I take care of these stains, you’re so worried about”
“And then we can cuddle?” you ask with the same wide grin you had when you woke up.
“And then we can cuddle however long you want.” He replies with a smile as wide as yours mirrored in his face.
And as you took your shower and smiled stupidly at the wall you couldn’t stop questioning yourself about how this man kept making you fall in love with him over and over again
#mwah#period fics my beloved#i want a spencer reid#actually i need one#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fluff
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On your own — LN4
— you can do it on your own while you’re looking at me
genre: smut (just a little bit of angst and fluff)
pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
warnings: switch!lando, switch!reader, pet names, make up sex, p in v, mutual masturbation, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, they just can’t resist each other
english isn’t my first language, no proof read
- after spending a day alone, all needy and touch deprived you decided to punish your boyfriend
The first rays of sun of the day interrupted your sleep, and after a lot of useless shifting around the bed you finally accepted that you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, as you reached for your boyfriend to say your good mornings and cuddle for a bit before getting up, you were surprised to find only empty and cold sheets. confused by his absence you checked your phone in search of any signs of his whereabouts, but you didn’t find a single message.
As you got up, the cold winter air brushed your bare legs, and as you walked to the kitchen, the empty house made you feel more and more needy of affection.
Hours passed and you still had no news or messages from Lando, you understood that he didn't have to spend his vacation glued to you and that he was probably having a good time with his friends, but you felt neglected, he wasn’t answering any of your phone calls and he hadn't even woken you up to tell you that he was leaving. and the worst part was the internal battle between your anger because of how thoughtless he was being, your worry that something might had happen to him, and the need for touch that was growing in you was killing you.
Just as you were about to call him again you heard the sound of keys in the door, indicating that Lando had arrived home
“Hi, honey” he said trying to kiss you, a kiss you were quick to dodge as you stood up from the couch and walked to the room giving him the silent treatment.
“how mature y/n” you thought to yourself, you knew this wasn’t the right way to solve this problem but sometimes a girl just wants to be showered with attention, so you just waited in your bed for Lando to come beg for forgiveness
you heard your boyfriends hurried footsteps before he appeared at the door
“baby, i’m so sorry, i meant to text you but my phone died as soon as i left, i didn’t mean to get you worried” he said carefully sitting on the bed next to you
“You could have woken me up to tell me where you were going, I don't even know where you were all day”. You were trying really hard to keep up your angry appearance but having him next to you after waiting for him all day was getting to you.
“y/n, i really am sorry, i didn't wake you up because i know how tired you've been these last few days and you looked very peaceful sleeping, i didn't have the strength to wake you up, my love. Max asked me to go with him to buy a gift for Pietra’s birthday, then we went to have lunch, i guess one thing led to another and I lost track of time”
You decided that was enough anger for the day and you gave him a soft smile “did you only buy gifts for Pietra?” you said half jokingly
Lando laughed, holding your face in his hands and taking that kiss he had wanted so much since he had arrived at your home
“you know i never forget about you, beautiful” He said, handing you a bag you didn't know where he had hidden. You carefully opened it, finding the dress you’ve been wanting for months, it was on your wishlist since it came out and every time you went shopping with Lando you looked at it for so long, too embarrassed to ask him to buy it for you.
“how did you know i wanted this?” you said unable to hide your joy
“i just know you so well, baby” Lando said kissing you again, this time much bolder and confident
You melted in his arms, with no hope of being able to resist him for another second, sometimes you get angry at yourself for how much at his mercy you are. but this time he had really screwed up, you couldn't just let this happen, that’s you felt like a light bulb had gone on in your head.
You straddled him, grabbed his hair and kissed him with the same intensity, until you felt him tense under your touch, you began to move your hips slow and hard on him and when you felt his erection grow beneath you, you mumbled on his lips “i see you missed me too, love” going down to kiss his neck
“mmhm baby, i need you so bad, been thinking about you all d-ay” He was having trouble putting his words together and that gave you the signal that it was time to play with him a little
“you know it’ll take a little more for me to forgive you, right?” you stood up and started taking of your top, surprising him with your bare chest since you weren’t wearing a bra
“i know, pretty, come here i’ll make it up to you i promise” he said taking his pants off and pulling you so you would sit in his lap again, and oh god how tempting it was to just give in
“you don’t deserve that, Lando, i’m afraid you won’t get to touch me today, baby, so just touch yourself” you saw how Lando opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out “go on, love, do it for me”
Seeing him hesitate, you licked your fingers slowly and started to play with your nipples, just the way he would, it didn't feel as good, but just to turn him on more you started to moan softly, moving your hips back and forth on the bed.
you were teasing and touching yourself but even though it felt good, what was really getting you worked up was seeing him fight against touching his painfully hard dick
“y/n please, don’t do this baby, i want you so bad please just touch me” he was starting to get desperate and to push him further to the edge you started giving him wet kisses up his thighs, very close to where he wanted them most but without getting there “fuck, you’re gonna kill me one day” he finally gave in, wrapping his hand over his swollen member
You watched him go up and down with his hand, you heard his moans and grunts and they only turned you on more and more. You were finally seeing in all its glory the effect you had on him and you were becoming addicted to that feeling. As you were feeling brave, you decided to experiment, so you leaned over him and spit on his cock just to see his reaction. Lando had to gather all his strength not to cum in that moment, his entire body trembled and tensed at your action, you were driving him crazy and although he wasn't going to admit it, maybe he was enjoying this more than you.
this was probably the most turned on you’ve ever been and when you couldn't take it anymore, you decided to take off your shorts and show him how wet you were “i want you to fuck me so bad, baby - a moan escaped your mouth- it’s a shame that you were so bad to me today”
“y/n fuck fuck fuck- you saw the tip of his member, angry red, and you swore you were drooling- don’t do this to me baby, i’ll make you feel so good, let me taste you please, i need you” he was just so close to cumming but he had to hold it, he needed you, he didn’t care if it was your hands, your mouth or your wet and warm pussy, he wanted you and only you
you fingered yourself and played with your clit at the same time and with how turned on you were you pushed yourself over the edge embarrassingly quick, there was just one problem, you just couldn’t cum, you never had that problem, when lando was away you did what had to be done, but watching him so needy in front of you, all sweaty and bothered just for you, just for watching you, was making it impossible for you to finish without him
“fuck, love, please, i’m gonna cum” you heard him say, pulling yourself out of your thoughts, you saw him squeeze his eyes shut, mouth slightly open and you felt so bad but you just had to interrupt him
“no, you won’t” he opened his eyes, his face a mixture of pain and disbelief, you slapped his hand softly so he would let go of himself and straddled him again, sitting on his dick in one swift motion, you were grateful that you didn’t have any neighbours nearby because the moan the two of you left was sinful
“love, i hope you had fun with your little game because you’re gonna be so sorry” he said grabbing your hips hard and slamming you against him without mercy, so delicious, just the way you liked, it felt so good you couldn’t think, you didn’t even hear yourself, the only thing you knew is that you were screaming his name again and again
You don't know when or how, you didn't even feel it building, but from one moment to another the two of you were reaching your climax stronger than ever in your lives, as you came down from your high you heard your boyfriend whispering sweet nothings and compliments in your ear, you were ready for a long session of aftercare when you felt him flipping you both so he was on top of you
“did you think i was done with you, princess?”
and with that you knew he was making up for all the lost time.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris smut#lando norris imagine#lando norris scenarios#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic
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