#mmmm yep. yep hurts SO good.

[residentrookie]

NFU 

a messy exes/right person, wrong time jegulus microfic inspired by the song NFU by del water gap for my bb @static-radio-ao3 as my thank u for the introduction :))

“Hello?” 

“Regulus,” a hoarse voice rasps on the other end of the phone, drawing out the syllables of his name. Rough and low and… drunk. Extremely fucking drunk, by the sound of it.

Regulus stiffens. “James. Are you-- you’re drunk calling me. Again.” 

“Very astute. You’re always so astute, Reg.” 

He checks the clock on his nightstand with bleary eyes. 3:30 AM. God. Not this again.

“I thought we talked about this,” he sighs, sitting up and rubbing a hand over his eyes. 

“We don’t talk much these days,” James points out rationally. “I think I would have remembered.” 

Regulus rolls his eyes. Not fucking likely. 

“Since you were in a similar state the last time we had this conversation, I’m not surprised you don’t remember. Just so we’re clear that doesn’t make it okay, James. This is— you have to stop doing this.” 

By ‘this’ Regulus means getting wasted and calling him when James is too far gone to talk himself out of the idea. And, if Regulus were smart, he would stop picking up when James’ name flashes across his screen. 

“Like I said. Astute.” 

Drunk James is his worst nightmare, truly. Drunk James is a walking, talking reminder of everything he doesn’t have anymore, everything he will never have again. When he calls, lacking crucial social skills like self-control and any modicum of a filter, Regulus is forced to be the rational one, reminding them both that this boundary exists for a reason. A very good reason.

“Okay. Well I’m glad— it’s good that we talked about this. But this is— this has to be the last time. I’m hanging up now, okay?” 

James continues as if he never spoke. “How’s your um— your boyfriend doing?”

Immediately no. 

“I’m not talking about this with you—” Regulus attempts to shut him down, but James is nothing if not obstinate. 

“You’re still dating the guy with the dumb fucking name, right?” 

James knows full well that he is. Sirius would have informed him otherwise. He just wants to hear Regulus say it because he’s fucking sick and twisted. Naturally, Regulus can’t give him the satisfaction, so he avoids the question. 

“You can’t think Regulus is a perfectly normal name and then turn around and shit on a guy for being named Kingsley.” 

James scoffs on the other end of the phone. “I can shit on him as much as I want. Fucking hate that fucker.” 

“You’ve never met him. You can’t hate someone you’ve never even met.” 

“Sirius hates him.” 

“Sirius doesn’t hate him—” Sirius just wishes he was you. 

“Mhm. Told me so. Said he’s a little bitch who can’t hold his liquor.”

Now it’s Regulus’ turn to scoff. “This coming from you right now? You sound so fucked up, I doubt you can even see straight. Not that you could before, but—” 

“I’m not fucked up,” James insists, then says calmly, “I just missed the way that you talk.” 

This. This was why they had to stop. In his worst moments, Regulus loathes the fact that Sober James all but ignores him most of the time, only bothering to text him on important holidays or birthdays. That is, until he’s reminded that Drunk James wants to ruin him— completely and thoroughly— by the casual cruelty of speaking his mind and expecting Regulus to go on peacefully with his life as if he didn’t just upend it entirely. 

“James��” he starts shakily. 

“Shit, that sounded stupid. This was,” James hiccups, “not my best idea, I fear. Rash. Extremely rash feeling.” 

“What, drunk calling your ex? Yeah, I would say it’s one of your worst.” 

James is quiet for a moment. “You kill me, you know? I-I hate talking to you.” 

Rage wells up in Regulus’ throat so fast he nearly chokes on it. “You called me—”

“God, you sound good. You always sound sexy when you’re angry, did you know that?  Rougher… hotter. All red in the face and your neck…I can almost see it, if I squint.”  James pauses, presumably squinting like a drunken idiot. “Maybe that’s why I called you— to make you angry. To hear you be angry at me again. Stupid fucking thing to miss, isn’t it?”

Yet again, Regulus is at a loss. 

“You— I’m— God, you’re a real fucking bastard, you know that? Do you have any idea how excruciating it is to talk to you when you’re like this?” 

But James ignores him, saying ruefully, “Sirius told me, he always tells me, he says, ‘Don’t do it, James. You always regret it, you always yell at me the next day for letting you call him,’ but he can’t stop me,” a childish giggle bursts from him. “I’m too fast. Much, much faster than him, just for the record. He’s never once beat me in a foot race, and if he says he has he’s a big, fat fucking liar—”

“James, I sincerely don’t give a fuck about that— be honest, did you run away from him at the bar?” 

Drunk James will do that. He’s a runner. Well, not when Regulus was around to keep him on a tight leash, but it seems that without him, James is turning back to some of his worst habits. 

The line goes quiet. Then, “A little bit.” 

“It’s a yes or no question, James.” 

“Mm.” He seems to think on it. “Yes, then.” 

Regulus tosses his hand in the air, forgetting James can’t see him. “Go back and find him!” 

“Don’t want to,” James sniffs. “Tryin to make my mistakes in peace.” 

“You— I’m hanging up and calling Sirius.” 

“No, no don’t!” James yells into the receiver, making Regulus wince and pull his phone away from his ear. James’ voice is much quieter when he speaks again. 

“Don’t, I have to say— I wanted to tell you. I have to tell you that I’m sorry, Regulus. I’m so fucking sorry.” 

A pit of dread forms in his stomach. James sounds wretched. He sounds like how Regulus feels when he thinks too long about how far they’ve drifted apart, how little they speak to each other anymore. For one infinitesimal second, Regulus gets the satisfaction of knowing that he’s not alone in this specific shade of misery— dark blue and bottomless. And then he reminds himself that he’s sober and his ex-boyfriend is drunk and they shouldn’t even be fucking talking right now if they knows what’s good for them. 

“James, look, you’re drunk, you’re emotional—”

“‘S not what I’m apologizing for.” 

“What, then?” 

“Everything. All of it. I never—I wanted…” 

Don’t say it, Regulus begs silently. Please don’t say what I—

“I still love you,” James breathes out. “I love you so much I can’t breathe around it.” 

Regulus lets his eyes sink closed, firmly shuttering the tears forming in his eyes. He can’t let himself say it back. He can’t. If he does…

“James…” Regulus lets himself savor the sound of his name on his tongue. Then says softly, “It’s okay.” 

They both know it’s not. 

______________________________

James looks down at the number on his phone. Blinks, just to make sure he isn’t imagining… but, no, he isn’t making it up. He picks up his phone, his apprehension growing. 

“Regulus?” he asks, unsure. 

A snort sounds on the other line. “Hm, fffancy seeing you here.” 

James blinks again. “...We’re talking over the phone.”

He doesn’t have to see Regulus to know that he’s just waved James’ words away with a flippant hand. “Metaphorically, then.” 

It’s been weeks since the last time they spoke. James remembers very little of that ill-conceived conversation, except of course for the part where he said the one thing he promised himself he would never say again because his brain hates him. It’s played on a loop in his head everyday since, his ragged, sincere words and Regulus’ noncommittal response to them. 

It’s okay, he had said. 

It was anything but okay. They both knew that. 

He had been doing so well, had been training himself to think of other things besides his ex boyfriend and his ex boyfriend’s new boyfriend and what the two of them were getting up to together, all the fun things they were probably doing while James was just focused on getting through his day. On getting to the next one. The next. The next the next the next the next the next—

“You don’t have ‘nything to say? Hm?” Regulus’ words slur. Unusual for him. Regulus was always so in control of himself. 

James frowns. “Are you okay? You sound—”

“Drunk? Well, that’s because I am. Royally, massively fucking toasted. Thought I’d return the favor and call you for once. ‘S your lucky day.” 

“Oh. I guess— I deserve that.” 

“I’ll say. Taste of your own medicine. Drink up, Potter.” 

James huffs a humorless laugh. “You must be drunk if you’re calling me ‘Potter’. You never call me that.” 

“Never say never, Potter,” he spits out meanly.  “It’s never a good idea to say never, remember? Remember how not good of an idea it is to use the word never? My therapist, she says I need to stop talking in absolutes. Never and always. Never say never, I learned that from her. Shame you didn’t, too.” 

James sinks into a kitchen chair, burying his face in his free hand, rubbing out the headache growing in his left temple. “You were right,”  he admits. “This is excruciating.” 

This conversation is making him feel awful for every single time he’s dialed Regulus drunk, the barrier between his thoughts and his words nowhere to be found. Regulus was right. He deserved a taste of his own medicine. He deserved this for every single second Regulus had to keep his cool on the other line while James was busy fucking them up a little more than they already had been. 

“Like remember when you said we’d never break up? Or when you said you’d always love me? Hilarious. Really, really funny stuff.” 

Regulus’ voice is liquid rage, red hot and acidic. James swears it’s burning him through the phone. 

He sighs. “Regulus. Can we not?” 

“No, no, we should talk about it. It’s been long enough. We can be rational adults and have a damn conversation. Here, you know what, I’ll even go first. I wanted you to come with me, you know. I should have asked you. To come with me.” 

James feels his heart stutter in his chest at those words. “You did ask me to come with you,” he murmurs. 

Regulus was waiting for that, like a snake rearing to strike. “Wait. Yessss, that’s right. I asked you to come with me and you said no! Now I remember. You said fucking no.” 

James clenches his jaw, his own anger slowly rising up the column of his throat. “I didn’t say no. I asked for some time to decide if I wanted to upend my life and move across the country, which is a pretty sane response to a question of that fucking magnitude. You’re the one who decided my hesitation meant I didn’t love you.” 

“Well, it sure didn’t feel like you loved me when you let me leave.” 

“Let you—?!” James cuts off, knowing he’ll blow a gasket if he doesn’t calm himself.  “Regulus,” he starts, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but no one lets you do anything! You do whatever you please and damn the consequences! I just never— I didn’t want to be one of those consequences.” 

Regulus, to no one’s shock, does not attempt to calm himself. In fact, James fears he’s only stoked the flames. 

“You are hands down the most infuriating human being on the face of the goddamn planet! Of course you’re blaming me! Of course, like you were just an innocent bystander while I went about ruining our relationship! Like you had nothing to do with it! You had no part in it, no, not perfect James Potter, never him! I cannot believe— I just— it’s all so— fuck!” 

His voice breaks on the word and then the rest of him breaks too. His tears sound painful, like they’re fighting they’re way out of Regulus’ body with each sob. He cries loudly and messily and James can’t pretend like the sound doesn’t break his heart all over again. 

“Regulus?” He makes his voice gentle. Soothing. “Hey, don’t cry. Listen, you’re drunk. Why don’t we try talking when you’ve sobered up?” 

“No, James,” he sobs, gasping for breath. “You don’t understand. I fucked up. I fucked up.” 

James sits up straighter, alarmed. 

“Are you okay? Are you safe? What’s going on—” 

Regulus sniffles. “No, I’m— I’m at my place. I’m fine. It’s just… it’s Kingsley.” 

James’ mind goes still in a way that should scare him but doesn’t. “Did he hurt you?” He doesn’t  bother keeping the cool rage out of his voice. 

“No!” Regulus nearly shouts. “No.. the opposite, actually. I hurt him. Badly.” 

James closes his eyes and takes a deep, slow breath. “Look… I’m sorry you’re upset but I really don’t want to listen to your lover’s spat—”

“I said your name last night,” Regulus whispers. 

“You—what?” 

Regulus doesn’t hold himself back. “He fucked me and I said your name. When I came. Yelled it, actually. No way to hide it. James and Kingsley don’t sound remotely similar.” 

And that— well. James has lost the ability for rational thought. “Oh,” he manages.

“Yeah, oh,” Regulus mimics him harshly. “He stormed out and we haven’t talked since. And I think— I think he’s going to break up with me now. He should break up with me. It’s— what I did is unforgivable.” 

No matter how hard he tries, James can’t think of a single thing to say to this information. Naturally, Regulus won’t let that stand. 

“James? Are you gonna say something?” 

“What do you want me to say?” he asks weakly. 

“Say you’re sorry!” Regulus shouts. “Say you’re sorry for drunk calling me all the fucking time, for reminding me that you exist, for reminding me I still fucking love—” 

He cuts off, but not quite quickly enough. James still heard everything he didn’t say. 

“I am sorry,” he says, voice rough. “I’m really, really sorry, Reg.”

He hears the hitch in Regulus’ breath. If he closes his eyes he can see Regulus before him, see the pain take up residence on his beautiful face, the way he scrunches his nose when he cries, his eyes going stark red, his cheeks staining themselves pink. 

He can see Regulus so clearly in his mind. But he didn’t see what was coming next. 

“I-I just want to be with you again,” Regulus cries softly. “I want to be with you, baby. I’ll move back, I’ll quit my program, I’ll move in with you like you wanted, I’ll do anything— but I can’t live like this anymore, James, I can’t, I can’t—”

James’ own tears slide down his cheeks silently, falling off the cliff-edge of his chin. 

“Regulus,” he says as firmly as he can manage. “Stop it. Please. You didn’t move away on a whim, okay? You’re in an amazing program. You love Chicago, you love the city and the river walk and the Art Institute and that bookshop across from Grant Park—” 

“You can’t— I didn’t tell you about any of—” 

“I pay attention. I know you love it. And I love where I live. I love my job here.” He forces the next words to leave his mouth, even though they taste like poison. “We’re… in the right places for ourselves. I have to believe that.” 

This doesn’t satisfy Regulus. The most twisted part of him is glad about that. 

“Why don’t you get it, James? I can’t be in the right place if I’m not with you. The right place doesn’t exist if we aren’t in it together.” 

James squeezes his eyes shut tightly. Regulus can’t know how badly this is hurting him. He can’t know that James feels like dying every day they spend apart, that James has applied for over ten jobs in Chicago just to hear nothing back, has looked at apartments in Regulus’ neighborhood enough times he’s saved the site to his favorites bar. Even when Regulus was dating someone else. Even after Regulus had moved on from him. 

He's looked at it from so many angles, tried to reconfigure it so many times in his mind, and nothing made sense for them. One of them would always be giving up something, making sacrifices for the other, letting the resentment build.

Even thought Regulus is saying everything he’s been wanting to hear for an entire year...

He’s drunk. He’s drunk and he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Doesn’t know what he wants. 

“We’re happy, Regulus,” James tells him stiffly. “We’re both happy.” 

Maybe if he keeps repeating it, he’ll finally start to believe it. 

“If this is what happiness feels like,” Regulus snarls, “then I don’t want to be fucking happy.” 

No. And James doesn’t either. 

“You’ll feel differently in the morning. I promise.” 

Regulus laughs without humor. “I’ll still want you in the morning. Being sober doesn’t change that. It just lets me hold on to a shred of my dignity and not call you to tell you about it. But it doesn’t change a damn thing. You have to know that.” 

He’s drunk, James reminds himself. He’s just drunk. 

“Goodnight, Regulus,” he chokes out. 

“I still love you, James.” 

“It’s okay, Reg. It’ll be okay.” 

They both know it won’t be. 

[beatrixst0nehill]

"Guys, I am so excited but I need to keep my voice down," a woman whispered as she recorded. "I just overheard my trans daughter Kylie, she's the blonde one, talking to her new girlfriend, Lexi. Oh my god, just listen!" Kylie's mom parted the curtain, turning up the mic volume through a crack in the doorway.

"For real? I've been thinking of detransing for a while now," Kylie said, brushing aside her golden hair.

Lexi smiled, her erection pressing against her bikini. "I'm so glad you feel the same way. Like being a girl was fun for a while, I'm glad I got to live as a girl through my teens and stuff but I just think it's time to be honest and start living as a guy!"

"Mmmm, it's so refreshing to hear you say that. I feel like such a weirdo around the girls on my volleyball team. Like they're real girls, half of them are pregnant and lactating, showing off their bellies to everyone in the locker room and I have this huge, ten-inch erection I legit can't hide, and they just tease me about it."

"Oh my god, same! I play soccer and it's so humiliating not being pregnant, like I'm a total outcast. And of course they can see that I'm rock hard. They wind up giving me hand jobs and blow jobs before we play so I'm not falling out of my shorts, which happens constantly anyway because my college has a no bra or underwear rule."

"Yep, mine too! Worst of all my volleyball team wears miniskirts, sooooo my huge cock is just hanging out, so are my balls, which are really big, too. Sometimes I try to push it down and up my ass but it slides right back out."

"Yep, been there! I'm tired of my team swarming me and making me cum before every game.... and between classes."

"Lucky! My team just humiliates me and calls me a boy or a fakegirl, which I mean.... they're not wrong! The commentaters at all the college games call me 'he' when I'm playing....."

"Me too! It honestly just makes me rock hard. Like I should be nowhere near these sexy girls, seeing their breasts jiggle and fall out of their crop tops, their big pregnant bellies getting shoved into the ground or tackled."

"Yep, all game it's so distracting, and my breasts come out of my bikini top, too and I'm not given a time out to put them away because they're a guy's chest or whatever. So I have to play with a raging hardon bobbing every which was, slapping into my belly when I spike the ball, my tits totally out...."

"I'm surprised you haven't had them removed yet, I had top surgery a few months ago and I'm pretty much breastless now. It feels so good not having big tits anymore. I was a G-Cup from all the estrogen in my body!"

"Ughhh, that suck. I feel your pain, I had a reduction when I was 18, my boobs were like.... a J-Cup. Now I'm a DD and they're still way to big, they make insanely dysphoric."

"Right? Like every trans girl I know has huge tits but they all want them removed, like we're really just kidding ourselves, aren't we?"

"Totally!" Lexi walked over to Kylie, making out with her before climbing up on the deck.

Kylie crawled forward as Lexi got behind her, taking off her bikini. "Mmmmm tell me how much you want me to detrans and become a boy. It can be our little secret......"

"Fuck yes, fantasizing won't hurt. It's all in good fun, isn't it, my little boy toy?"

Kylie bit her lip, smacking her hips into Lexi as she plunged her footlong cock into Kylie's ass. They both started moaning.

Lexi pulled Kylie's hair back, and said, "You know your mom is filming this right?"

"Wh-What?" She opened her eyes, hair pulled back, getting fucked, with her mom recording.

Her mom stepped out, zooming on Kylie's flush face. "Go on, tell everyone how badly you want to detransition sweetie....."

Kylie rolled back her eyes as Lexi sped up, fucking her so hard it made loud, rhythmic clapping noises as Lexi pounded against Kylie's fat ass. "More than anything in the world! ❤️"

[concentrateandpush]

Request/idea fiction: an intimate scene of only the couple homebirth, where pushing is long? Thanks

We met around a year and a half ago and as a lesbian couple, nobody expected us to announce our pregnancy at our wedding which happened a year after we met. I guess we just both knew what we wanted and figured waiting would be pointless.

My wife is carrying, I’m desperate to carry too, but she’s slightly older and so, we compromised. What we didn’t compromise on was the delivery. Blair wanted a very intimate delivery, just her and I. I’ve given birth before, a long time ago, back when I was young and stupid but rest assured, my son went to a perfect home.

It’s 1am and we’ve just eaten our weight in pizza and spicy noodles, we’re watching TikTok in bed and Blair turns to me with a look of concern. “Lena, how much pain is too much pain for just a twinge?” she asks and I look back with curiosity. “I guess.. I mean-“ I stop and laugh “Baby, has it started?” I ask. “I think.. I think I’m having labour pains” she says nervously.

We didn’t want anything fancy, just the bath for water, the bed with a towel and the coziness of our cottage.

“Okay, you’re okay” I nod “let me get you a hot water bottle and I’ll get you comfortable” I smile reassuringly. “Don’t you dare leave me” she says stubbornly and I roll my eyes “come here” I whisper as she rests her head on my chest, whimpering quietly. “Shh, shh, shh” I whisper “you’re okay, everything is going smoothly” I add.

The contractions are dull and achy but I see the struggle she’s having, so at around 4am, I suggest us both sleeping, which at first, she absolutely refuses to try, but after a few back and foot rubbies, she agrees.

It’s not until 10.30am that I wake to her rubbing her belly in her sleep, moaning relatively loudly, but not even waking herself up. “Okay, okay sweetheart..” I nod and take over the rubbing as she opens her eyes slowly. “You’re doing great mamma” I smile reassuringly. “Mmm, baby” she moans “it hurts, it’s hurting me” she grumbles as she reaches down to touch herself. “I’m not wet, so my waters are still intact” she says almost trying to convince herself she’s got ages to go.

I sit up slowly and kiss her forehead before throwing my hair up and I climb between her legs, resting my head on her thigh. “You look sore” I sigh, looking at her tummy. She just nods before reaching for my hand “it’s coming” she whispers and I nod, stroking her thigh gently. She paces her breaths perfectly as she takes the contraction in her stride. “That’s right, in and out, slowly and gently” I nod. I can tell it’s intensifying because she’s moaning with out even realising on an out breath.

“Baby I need..” she mutters “I need to get in water” she says quickly and I nod reassuringly before heading out to run a bath. I know it won’t be long now, I can just feel her getting closer.

As the bath finishes filling, I go in and take both of her hands, steadying her before guiding her into the bathroom and lowering her into the bath. I take a cup and pour it on her bump, taking it all in because it’ll be the last time. “I want him out so badly, but I’ll miss this” she sighs and I laugh “you’ll miss the sickness? And the heartburn? And the fact I’ve not been able to touch your boobs for 9 months?!”. “Oh baby, you know what I mean” she laughs, knowing I’m teasing.

“Mmmm” she moans, going ridged “I..” she starts before humming a low pitched tone, cradling her perfect bump. “Let it out, good job” I whisper. “Ba-baby!” She screams as I see the water turn cloudy. “Was that-“ she starts and I nod “yep”. “So, my waters have gone?” She asks to clarify and I rub her leg, excitedly “mhm, baby’s coming”.

I find my hand between her legs and resting on her opening before sliding a finger in and grinning “sweetheart, you’re almost ready to push” I say, surprised. “N-no” she shakes her head but I chuckle “I’m here, I won’t leave your side” I say calmly. “You’re doing it, you’re bringing him into the world” I smile.

As she feels a contraction, I see her grip the handles of the bath ready to push and I rub her back gently. “You ready?” I ask and she nods before taking a deep breath and pushing her chin to her chest. She’s silent, completely silent, but focused and with every second that goes by, her face gets redder. I can tell she’s stopped pushing because she lets out an exhausted release of her breath. “Ngah.. I.. I can’t” she shakes her head and I reassure her “you can, you’re doing it”.

“N-no water” she shakes her head and I get up, slowly helping her out of the bath and back to the bedroom. Every step gets harder and as we get to the foot of the bed she stops “again” she mutters and I get down, letting her lean on my shoulders. Her legs shake as she gives a big, long push, letting her inhibitions go as she squeals at the end. “Good job baby, let’s get you comfortable” I say calmly as I lay her down.

“Okay, you’re doing well, we’re going to stay here and just work baby out together okay” I say softly as she opens her legs and I sit cross legged between them. “What if I can’t?” She asks and I give her a cheeky wink “if anyone can, it’s you”.

A few minutes go by and she looks up, her eyes begging for me to help as she grips the back of one leg. “Pull this back and push down for me” I say softly as I watch her begin to birth. She nods and grits her teeth as she bears down, her stomach tightening and her legs spreading further. “That’s it” I smile as the head slowly peaks, until she stops, spluttering and trying to get herself together.

I think it hits her here, because she starts to pant and breathe faster, trying to get rid of the pain. It doesn’t take long until she’s hard at work again, pulling both legs this time and scrunching her face up as she gets frustrated, pushing with all her might. “Why isn’t he coming?!” She cries out. “He’s coming, it’s just the staying that’s hard” I explain.

“Pillows” she says bluntly and I prop her up so that she’s almost sat with her legs opened up in front of her. She’s beautiful. She takes sips of water as she rubs her bump gently. “Ready to go again?” I ask and she nods, taking my hands and pulling as leverage. “Gaaah” she grunts before panting and going straight in again, trying everything she can to get the strength to push. “C-come out” she grunts through gritted teeth, pushing and pushing the hardest she can muster.

“Okay, we’ve got a bit of head” I smile “but I think we need to get some rope, you can pull on that” I say before getting a dressing gown tie and looping it around the headboard. “Here we go, pull, as hard as you need as you push” I say with a reassuring smile.

She holds on and waits until the next contraction before taking a deep breath and this time, letting it all out. It’s almost a growl more than a grunt, there are fluids pouring around the head as she edges our baby closer and closer, her lips going white with the stretching. “Keep that coming mamma” I coach. She takes a deep breath and screams as she pushes again, this time bringing herself to a full crown.

“Baby you’re doing it” I cry “you’re crowning” I mutter. She’s panting, wriggling in pain as she holds this giant head between her legs. “You see him?” She checks and I nod, bringing her hand down, letting her feel him as he enters the world.

She starts to get up and I know by her movements she’s getting on her hands and knees. “Easy” I remind her before she gets into position.

“Get ready” she mumbles into the pillow as I see her hand reaching up between her legs to keep contact with baby. The scream she lets into the pillow is so loud and I can feel the strength she’s pouring in but the head doesn’t budge. “Harder baby” I tell her and she cries “I can’t” she whispers. “Of course you can, try for me” I say with a little reassuring stroke of the leg.

She lets out a low, grunt that last forever and during that forever, the head pops out with what seems like litres of water. The panic and change in Blair’s breathing shows the effort she made and I just climb up to hold her into me. “You’ve done the hardest, baby, you’ve done the hardest bit” I say with excitement but equal amounts of compassion.

“Ready to meet him?” She asks me and I nod, watching her reach behind her legs and pull them back with a grunt like moan. “Work with mama” she mutters as she pushes. “Come on, puush baby” I whisper as I see movement. “Gaahhhh!” She cries out. “Baby, you.. you did it” I sob as I pick up our newborn, bringing him straight to her chest.

“You did it” I cry, just taking it all in as I nuzzle into them both. “I did.. but you’re doing it next time” she says with a laugh

[creative-kny-fics]

If requests are open, could you do Ler sanemi and Lee nezuko? Maybe he's not allowed to hurt her so he tickles her instead?? Feel free to decline this ofc! Have a great day/night :3

Ohhh! Clear! I remember that in my previous account I made a similar request but with Ler!Nezuko and Lee!Sanemi. So let's say the theme would be the same, I hope you don't mind

(I don't ship them!)

Warning: This fanfic contains tickles. Also remind them that I don't speak English, so if they find any errors, let me know to correct it. I hope you like it!

Ler: Sanemi Shinazugawa

Lee: Nezuko Kamado

'I see... So, Shinazugawa enjoyed spending time with Nezuko. Thank you for letting me know.' Kagaya gently stroked his crow's head and smiled.

Again Sanemi was called before Oyakata - Sama, ehh, well the conversation was the same.

'Shinazugawa, I've heard that some of my children are at Kocho's estate and I'd like to visit them, would you be willing to take care of Nezuko again?'

'Bu-but Oyakata - Sama, you can't get out of bed... You should stay and rest' 'I'm aware of that Sanemi, that's why it will be Amane who will go. I need to know that Mitsuri, Tokito, Tanjiro and Genya are okay...' 'As you order, sir', Sanemi nodded and took the box with the little demon and retired to his estate

But something was worrying him, Genya, how would he be? Maybe he could go with Nezuko later, he needed to make sure his brother was okay.

'Hey Nezuko, it's me. We are in my estate, I sealed all the windows and doors, there is no sunlight now', the box opened, but there was something wrong, where was Nezuko's bamboo? She wasn't wearing it...

'Hey, where's your bamboo?' 'Go-Good-Good morning...', HUH?! Sanemi was surprised, what had happened? Did Nezuko no longer need her bamboo? Had she been human again? what the hell happened?

'I don't know what just happened, but when we go to Kocho's, I wait and he gives me a reasonable explanation' 'Ko-Kocho!'

The afternoon was strange, it was strange not to hear the 'Mmm!' characteristic of Nezuko, but even so, he stayed calm, taking care of her was calm, it was so calm that he fell asleep

'Wow...Last time was more fun...What are you trying to do?' 'Sa... Saa... Salami!' 'AS YOU TOLD ME?!' 'Salami!', nope, she wasn't joking, she really said Salami, she's trying, okay?

'My name is not "Salami" it's Sanemi! Or if you can't, Shinazugawa!' 'Salami!', it's almost there... I think

'San... Salami!', well, she tried.

'You damn brat-!', wait, he can't hit her, Oyakata - Sama would be disappointed in him, dammit... damn-... wait a minute, that wasn't against the rules

Sanemi approached the petite young woman, smiling and cracking his knuckles.

'So trouble learning my name, huh? Well, you'll see how quickly you'll learn that way', nope, he's not going to hit her.

'Hahahahaha! Mhmhm! Hehehey! Sahahalami!' 'I already told you, it's SA NE MI!'

Yeah Shinazugawa, I'm sure she'll learn that way *sarcastic tone*

'Ahahahaha! Mmmm! Mhmhm!' 'What's happening? Doesn't it tickle you enough? Well, how about here?!', Sanemi directed his fingers to Nezuko's waist, the laughter from before did not compare to the one from now.

'GYAHAHAHAHA!! Sahahahalami!! Wahahahahit!! Sahahahaha-' 'Do you want me to tell you how to stop me? Say right name, I'll teach you, so repeat after me!'

Hmm, let's see if Shinazugawa's method works on Nezuko.

'Ok, first is Sa!' 'Sahahaha!!'Neee' 'NEHEHEHEHE-!!!' 'MY!' 'MIHIHIHI?!', Sanemi at least let her speak well!

'So, all together what does it say?!' 'SAHAHAHALAMI!!', yep, it didn't work-

'Wow, apparently this lesson will last until you get my name right....'

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Young American - Sneak Peek!

A soft banter-ous sneaky for you all! I decided to take the day off and have been writing all morning! Making some headway!

Hope you guys like this!

Read the series here!

In truth, Y/N felt a bit sad to see her bedroom at Julie’s so bare…stripped of the essentials…of the things that had made it her own space. So as she stepped inside after her shower and saw it again she felt a little hurt in her heart and pouted a bit.

“What’s the matter?” Harry asked from the bed and she shook her head.

“I just…forgot everything was gone.” She said and he pouted with her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my love.”

“It’s alright. Just get nostalgic.” She assured with a small smile before she went to get her pajamas on, which currently consisted of some sweatpants and one of Harry’s hoodies. She was absolutely infatuated with his scent, it was so comforting to her over the last few weeks or so. She just needed to feel all wrapped up in it, it even curbed the occasional wave of nausea she’d get.

Harry watched quietly as she got out of her robe and into her clothes. He constantly admired how beautiful she was. Especially as her tummy grew more and more each week, he’s sure other people couldn’t tell the subtle differences week by week but he did. And it made him happy to be able to feel and see it for himself because it meant that their baby was growing just fine. She was 15 weeks along now.

“As of today,” Harry’s voice was suddenly behind her and it startled her a bit because she hadn’t anticipated him at all or to feel his big, warm hands sliding from her hips to hold her bump, “the baby’s the size of an?” He quizzed and she smiled.

“Orange?” She responded softly and he smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Yep. We have a winner!” He confirmed playfully and she snorted out a laugh which made him squeeze her gently as he laughed.

“What did I win?” She asked softly as she turned to face him.

“I didn’t think that far ahead.” He confessed and she giggled, “Any ideas?”

“Ummm…a big fat kiss?” She asked and he smirked.

“Yeah, I can do that.” He hummed as he continued to rub over her little bump as he started to lean in.

“Mmmm, maybe also the lo mein and kung-pao chicken bowl from Great Wall? With the spring rolls and sweet and sour sauce?” She asked with big eyes, he could see her desire swimming in them and he smiled.

“Baby, that’s a lot of sodium.” He chuckled and she huffed.

“Look, not that I’ve been snooping but…I’ve seen the book marks you’ve left in the pregnancy books in the diet sections and I know you’re gonna force me to be a super clean eater soon-” 

“I’m gonna do it with you! I’m sure mum and gran will also be joining us. And it’s not forcing you, it’s just what’s good for the baby.” He reminded and she sighed.

“Yeah, I know. But can this be an England thing please? It’ll be easier then because I didn’t like your fast food to be honest.” She admitted.

“Oh please!” He laughed with a dramatic eye roll, “We went to the chippy a few times a week while we were there!” He reminded.

“Because that was the only good junk food!” She said and he chuckled.

“Fine, fine…eat your American junk while you still can…” he said in surrender.

“Don’t pretend you wouldn’t die for Feng’s lo mein with the spicy tofu and veggies.” She said to him and he chuckled.

“The fact that you’re on a first name basis with the chef at this point means you’re eating there too much.” He pointed out with a smile.

“My love, it’s a pregnancy craving…the baby’s basically begging for it and then punishing me when I try and satisfy it with anything else. You can’t deny the baby.” She pouted at him and he pecked her lips quickly and grinned as he shook his head in disbelief.

“You’re a manipulative little shit.” He said playfully and she laughed, “Get dressed then so we can go.” He hummed as his hands slithered back to her bum and patted it a few times and then he smirked, “Whoa…didn’t know this grew with pregnancy too.” He looked at her with a smirk as he groped her butt now.

“Everything’s gonna grow…unfortunately. You know some people literally grow shoe sizes and never revert back to normal! I like my regular sized feet.” She said and he chuckled.

“I’m sure your feet will be fine.” He reassured with a smile and she huffed.

“They fucking better.” She mumbled before she pulled him down for a kiss. Their lips met gently before they were pulled into a deeper kiss for a few more moments until he felt her skin covered in goosebumps and he broke apart from her.

“Let’s get you dressed so we can get you two fed, then.” He said and she smiled.

“H, I love you.” She said to him, holding eye contact with him and he smiled back at her.

“I love you too, baby.” He responded, “And you too.” He said as he brought his hand up to his mouth and kissed his palm before putting it against her bump with a happy smile.

---- Tag List ----

@sunshinemoonsposts @ottawaoutlander @daphnesutton @justlemmeadoreyou @angelbabyyy99 @permanentllyharry @cherrysulewski @sunflovverharry @keriberi @jessitpwk @sad-avocado @gurugirl @reveriehs

[i-am-beckyu]

Fake Fic titles:

-Search History: How to Get a Demon Out of My Garage, Demon in Garage has Started Crying and Sizzling is Bad?, How to Stop Demons from Crying, How to Unsummon Demon From Garage

-Apocalypse Eyes

-No Friends? Build Your Own

-House Arrest

-Piano Man

Search History: How to Get a Demon Out of My Garage, Demon in Garage has Started Crying and Sizzling is Bad?, How to Stop Demons from Crying, How to Unsummon Demon From Garage

(I love this title)

Why isn't the internet helping him?! It was a joke! A stupid youtube video idea! HOW IS THERE A FLIPPEN DEMON IN HIS GARAGE?!! AND IT WON'T STOP CRYING?? THE WEIRD TINY YELLOW AND BLACK DEMON IS CRYING IN RANBOO'S GARAGE. AND SOEMTHING IS DEFINATELY BURNING? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?!?!

or Tubbo a tiny bee hybrid thought it would be funny to play a prank on the human Ranboo he secretly lives with but bent his wing while chasing them around the garage and now it hurts.

this would just be a lot of screaming in fic form I recon

Apocalypse eyes

mmmm no idea's for this one apart from Giant XD with many many many eyes. that's all I got lol

No Friends? Build Your Own

Tubbo has always liked to build things. Elaborate machines, fixing trinkets, a very much not model bomb that was totally not a police violation.... YEP! Loves to tinker.

But he's lonely

So what do you do when you know how to build things? Build your own friend!!! He's been working on getting the robot to move and walk about with a little remote control, next comes artificial intelligence. *looks at clock. It's 5am* Maybe in the morning... *wakes up and walks into work shop* "Hello new friend. How are you today?" "I'm well Tubbo, how are you?"

*Tubbo staring in shock.* "WTF?!?!?"

or Tubbo is lonely human. Tommy is lonely tiny who decides a giant robot is the perfect way to make a new friend.

SOMEONE WANNA STEAL THIS? TAG ME TAG ME TAG ME!!!

House Arrest

Philza is under house arrest. It's boring. No one to talk to, nothing to do, just him and the occasional 'visit'. At least the crows would come by with gifts. Rings, gold nuggets, the occasional emerald, a tiny diamond man, feathers for quills, bits of iron... wait. go back

A tiny diamond man?

I thought it would be funny to just throw Smcykeppy in there lol

Piano Man

A tiny tommy lives in Wilbur's walls and constantly gets to hear the musician play. He adores them. For Tommy, its like he's living at a free concert where he gets to hear a songs progression from start to finish.

So to hear his idol struggling over one of his songs just won't do. He should record something to cheer them up!

So with all his might, he jumps across the piano (the only instrument he can semi play at his size) and plays a few miscellaneous notes which he manages to record.

When Wilbur comes back, he has no idea why there's this random piano recording on his computer but he swears he here's some very quiet muffled slurs in amongst the cuts. It's quite amusing. But the recording itself would work really good on this bit of the song here...

(I have so many more ideas for this one but I'm stopping here)

Anon these were fabulous. I loved these!! No friends, Build your own and Piano Man are definitely two fun aus I kinda wanna dive in and write. Maybe I will, maybe I won't who knows!

[princesshillaryellaworld25]

Sick Boyfriend's Nightmare

*Disclaimer: This took place after the end of Chapter one of the birthday Arc*

Nighttime: 11:30 p.m.

Drugfriend was worried about his friends not receiving his calls

Drugfriend: (mind) Come on, Why isn't Dave picking up...Oh boy, I hope Lila Sky didn't get him

Sick BF: *yawns* Drugfriend? What happened?

Drugfriend: Oh hey Sick Boyfriend, I just worried about Dave, I'm trying to call him, but he's not picking up

Sick BF: Yeah, I'm worried that Lila Sky might hurt him or try to find us a-and-

Drugfriend: Sick Boyfriend Calm down, Lila Sky is not gonna find us, besides we're safe at home and I put a magic barrier around our house so she won't get in

Sick BF: O-Oh ok, Anyways I'm going to bed early, I'm tired

Drugfriend: Ok Buddy, I'll be up in a minute, Good night

Sick BF: *yawn* Good night

2 minutes later .....

1:00 A.M.

Sick BF: Zzzzzz

(Heading to dream mode)

Sick BF: Mmmm h-huh?

*Sick Boyfriend woke up in a dark purple void,Sick Boyfriend started to get scared*

Sick BF: (mind) W-Where am I? Why is it so dark?. Hello! Anyone, Hello?!

*Sick Boyfriend started to get worried and started to panic*

Sick BF: Hello?! Anyone?! Can you hear me?! Anybod-Woah! Oof!

(Sick Boyfriend fell down, only to touch something liquid)

Sick BF: Ow...what did I just slip on- W-Wha, is this blood?!

Sick Boyfriend got up and looked to see a trail of blood

Sick BF: What the......(mind)Where did all this blood come from?!

???: Hehehe

Sick BF: *gasp* W-Who's there?!

???: Wow, I guess you don't know me huh?

Sick Boyfriend turned around to see manifest demon that looked like sky but it's not

Sick BF: S-Sky?

???: Sky~? Hahaha Oh I'm not Sky, You may know me as Drugfriend's ex girlfriend~

Sick BF: W-Wait you're Lila sky?

Lila Sky: Yep.

Sick BF: B-But you look so different

Lila Sky: T-Thats because this is my manifest form

Sick BF: So I'm guessing your the one who cheated on Drugfriend with my stalker and broke his heart?

Lila Sky: Yes but I dumped him, And I wanted him back

Sick BF: Well you can forget it, you lost that chance when you cheated on him with multiple guys and I have hearing things like you bullying people, I swear your worse than Purity Senpai

Lila Sky: Well what can I say, I'm very good at it, All that aside, You stole him from me

Sick BF: What?! I didn't steal him, you dumped him so don't accuse me of your petty things

Lila Sky: Oh petty huh? You really wanna see petty, I'll show you petty, You noticed the blood right?

Sick BF: Uh yeah?

Lila Sky: Look over there~

Sick BF: (mind) what does she mean by look over there?

(Sick Boyfriend look over there only to see Drugfriend lying on the floor, covered in blood, having trouble breathing)

Sick BF: O-Oh god....DRUGFRIEND!!!!

(Sick Boyfriend rushed to Drugfriend with tears in his eyes)

Sick BF: Drugfriend, Drugfriend, please, speak to me!!!

Drugfriend: S-Sick Boyfriend,I-I tried...to stop...her....p-please s-save…me*flatlined*

Sick BF: Drugfriend?! Drugfriend?! Please, Say something!!!!

Lila Sky: Awww, poor sick boyfriend, crying over your dying husband~

Sick Boyfriend turned to lila sky and his eyes glowed red

Sick BF: What...have...you done to him...

Lila Sky: Oh I just killed him, he did put up a fight but failed to take me down~

Lila Sky: I warned you Sick Boyfriend, you messed with me and I'm gonna take away everyone you loved

Sick BF: You....YOU MONSTER!!!! YOU GONNA PAY FOR THE CRIMES YOU DID!

Sick Boyfriend tried to charge at her but Lila Sky used her magic to grab Sick boyfriend by the neck, Sick boyfriend was struggling to let go of Lila Sky's magic

Sick BF: *cough cough* I...I can't breathe...

Lila Sky: Awww~ Are you struggling to breathe, Face it, you think you're strong but in reality, your weak, I don't know why Drugfriend would pick you in the first place

Lila Sky: Now...DIE!!!! *Jumpscare*

Sick BF: *Screams*

Sick BF: *gasping for air*

Meanwhile:

Drugfriend: *sigh* I hope everyone's ok, I'm worried Lila sky might hurt Sick Boyfriend or anybody else, Let's just hope tomorrow is good then tod-

*Drugfriend heard a loud scream*

Drugfriend: (mind) What the hell? Was that Sick Boyfriend?! Oh no, I better check on him! He might be in danger!

*Drugfriend rushed to bedroom to go see if Sick Boyfriend was in danger*

Drugfriend: Sick Boyfriend! Are you ok- Oh no....

*Sick Boyfriend was having a panic attack*

Drugfriend: Oh crap, Sick Boyfriend! Sick Boyfriend! Calm down, It's ok, It's ok, I'm here, Please calm down!

Sick BF: *gasp* *looks at Drugfriend* D-Drugfriend…*tears up*

Drugfriend: Sick Boyfriend, what happened, I heard you scream from the living room, are you okay?!

Sick BF: I…I..*burst into tears*

Drugfriend hugged Sick Boyfriend as he started crying.

Drugfriend: Shhh there there buddy. It’s okay it’s okay, I’m here

Sick BF: *hic*I-I-I thought she- *crying*

Drugfriend: Shhh calm down buddy, it’s okay, You just had a nightmare

Sick BF: *sniff* It felt so real, I thought Lila Sky was gonna kill you for real and kill me too!

Drugfriend: Oh no you had a nightmare that Lila Sky killed me?

Sick BF: Mmm hmmph *sniff*

Drugfriend: Awww buddy, there there. It’s going be okay Alright? I’ll make sure Lila Sky doesn’t find us, so don’t worry

Sick BF: *crying* I’m just scared that Lila Sky would find us and kill us!!! I don’t wanna die Drugfriend!!!

Drugfriend: Oh no! Please don’t cry, it’s just a nightmare ok?

Drugfriend hugged Sick Boyfriend as he comfort him from the nightmare he had

*This happened from chapter 1 of the Birthday arc, deleted scene*

@pony-central

@bunnykittenlover

[knightzp]

izuleo and uhh. xingyun for the ask game (I think you like xingyun right?? I was and still kind of am obsessed with them)

izuleo:

what made you ship it? tbh i remember watching the enstars anime and not really understanding at first why everyone was shipping izuleo (bc the anime shows absolutely nothing abt them) and then i read checkmate and lionheart and i was like. Oh. now i get it now i understand everything. izuleo oughgg

what are your favorite things abt the ship? just. all their story. theyve been through so much together, both good and bad moments. how they started as best friends and understood each other like no one else at the beginning and then how it all went wrong after checkmate and they hurt each other a lot during the war but after months of being separated they reunited and started slowly healing from their wounds to the point theyre now living together in florence. the whole evolution of their relationship is just. So good

is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? actually im gonna say the same as you tia bc its so true i really think it too. their relationship is a lot of things but i dont think it is extrictly romantic i cant imagine them like a regular romantic couple at all but also its not entirely platonic either bc they love and care abt each other so much and in a lot of unique ways. theyre def a secret third thing and i believe not even them know how to describe it

xingyun (and YES YES YESSS I LOVE XINGYUN SO MUCH theyre my fave genshin ship and one of my fave ships ever in general too my absolute beloveds <333):

what made you ship it? oh god its been so long i dont think i remember the actual moment.... like i knew abt the ship way before i got to know their characters in the game and i Had the feeling i was going to love them. and then i played their quests/hangouts and started to slowly get to know them until i was like. yep i do love them. i knew it <3

what are your favorite things abt the ship? oh boy *inhales air*. theyre best AND childhood friends with water/ice powers which is the best combination ever both combat wise and aesthetically one is pining a lot and making every possible excuse to spend time together with the other (like remember that moment when xingqiu asked chongyun to go to that haunted place BC IT WAS A LOCATION ONLY VISITED BY COUPLES HE CLEARLY WANTED A DATE) and the other is so oblivious that wouldnt take a hint ever (and so asked the traveler to go with him instead.... sorry xingqiu) but also most of the times one appears onscreen the other is very likely with him bc theyre clearly so attached to each other. xingqiu pulling pranks on poor chongyun and teasing him so much but also 'dear chongyun'. and chongyun may get a bit mad at first but would never hate xingqiu for anything he does bc he just cherishes so much. THEIR MATCHING TASSELS. THAT BDAY LETTER FROM CHONGYUN THAT WAS CLEARLY FOR XINGQIU AND NOT THE TRAVELER. THE YOUNG AND HOPELESSLY SMITTEN THING they just have one of my fave dynamics ever and there is So much evidence in canon content abt their feelings for each other and hngngngngngn im so obsessed i love them so much 🩵💙

is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? mmmm not really? idk if this is really unpopular but if i have to say something. theyre So ace. to me. both of them but especially chongyun. ace xingyun is real and canon to me <33

[rambosgirl]

Quotes from my life as dialogue prompts

Alright here's the deal - If you see a quote that sticks out to you, send it as a dialogue prompt for either Rambo or Wolverine fics (I'm open to other characters too, just message me first) and as a reminder, I only do fem readers

And just as a PSA: nobody in my family does drugs, we just joke about them a LOT; also this is pretty long oops

Things I've said:

“Whatever ghost is floating through me just stop it”

“Ah yes my mafia business with chicks.”

"Why is there cocaine in my flute"

"he [wolverine] would probably break every bone in my body and I would still say thank you for gracing me with your touch"

“Bb you’re gonna kill me!!!”

“I need more fingers…" *looks at my friend*

“Yep. Came right out of me. Don’t even know how it got in there.”

"On a scale of 1 to prostitute, how do I look?"

“I'm addicted to rocks”

"it's not depression, it's a minor key"

"Lemme just drink my sorrows away with a non-alcoholic beverage"

"everybody loves spanking me"

"They sent me stickers, what else could it mean?!?!"

“I’m having a crisis over butter!”

“That’s my I’m about to commit a felony face”

“Singing Sophia the First gives me life!”

"Here we are living in the lap of luxury with our glowsticks"

“The FBI invented Barbie to torture war criminals”

"I'm zoning out in French"

“It wasn’t consensual cuddling!”

“I get a whoopsie doodle do-over!”

“Why can’t I not be stupid”

"I know I sound really suspicious like all the time, but I promise I'm not"

“At my funeral I want people to say wow what a cool cat"

"Those nomie nomie noms gave me a sugar high"

“My arms are a different race”

"Haha, you're a germ"

“It’s like slapping but it doesn’t look abusive”

"WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST ON TOUCHING MY BUTT??"

“I’m looking like a swagger dude right now!”

“Why are you breathing?!”

“Mints are just cold spicy”

"You learn something new when you read the rules"

"Communist sign, I know you're in my search history somewhere!"

"Could you imagine my fingertips being just ripped?"

"I hate being a customer I hate doing that to someone"

"go wash your stinky feet with the grandma soap"

"I rejected you faster than I rejected that pedophile"

"A small price to pay for a fork stabbing"

"eww, that was...genius"

"man, I should get rabies again. Foam :D"

"My special talent is getting money from drunk people"

"Bellbottoms are just the Bob Ross of pants"

"A smack for the lil snack"

"Why are babies so expensive?!"

"Look how hot his forearm is"

"there's so much expression in these expressionless faces"

"Do you ever just want your toes to catch on fire?"

"I dabble in sleeping"

"I watch impractical jokers to forget"

"When you started talking, the world kinda just stopped and threw up"

"you were meant to gain weight, skinny boy"

"I mean he has a face thats probably a good sign."

"I'm CLEARLY a 19th century villain"

"Drugs make your happy chemicals go brrr"

"Mmmm that's one sexy femur"

"It's from ahem Europe"

"It didn't workables"

What makes you think I have a life?!"

"Is this what imaginary numbers taste like?"

Things my sisters have said: (Keep in mind I have 3 sisters and they're all younger than me)

"Imaginary numbers taste like cocaine"

"Oh my gosh, It's almost like I don't care"

"Words only hurt if you're weak!"

"I was just gonna gently tap your face with my fist"

"For the first time in 8 years I wet the bed last night"

"Wow, this blood is really thick!"

"That car looks like it's from the Lorax"

"OH MAN THIS POOP IS BUILD DIFFERENT!!"

"Sometimes the mind is on crack, when the rest of you isn't"

"Words only hurt if you're weak!"

"my inner autism"

"I've just been stroking his thigh"

"I stubbed my toe on the dank express"

"Chocolate gives me artificial warmth"

"BEcAUSE I am a rat, I don't like to go outside"

"DON'T EVEN GIVE ME LOVE!!!"

"Now you have poo toes!!!!!"

"All of my clothes are gay!!"

"[sister's name] did you open the cereal box upside-down again?!"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT"

"He eats flowers, not drugs!"

"JUST EAT THE FLOWER IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"

"Nothing is too quirky for a quirky person"

"Hear me out, when you done, I want your skull"

"My natural musk is McDonalds"

"It's by no means a crush, I just find his stupidity amusing."

"I'm gonna trigger your fight or flight response."

"I licked her legs off"

"Annoyance is in the eye of the beholder"

in a new York accent, spreading parmesan cheese "i put this all over everything"

"exCuse me ma'am, I've been waiting an OUTRAGEOUS amount of time"

"look, if you're gonna be turned to stone, then at least have a nice pose!"

"Let's all be lesbians I guess!!!!!"

"I want to steal these curtains and turn them into a skirt"

"I just wrote a paragraph on how appetizing paint is!"

"It not his cheekbones that are toxic, it's his personality"

"Hello my scrumptious disobedient munchkin"

"you're right, you DO smell like the color warm!"

"My brain is crusty. I'm quirky like that!"

"imagine having your butthole being smaller than your head hole"

"I really love traumatizing you"

"Stop disrupting my potato experience"

"My laugh is balding"

"Are you gonna become a cringe person?" - me "No" - sis "Are you already a cringe person?" - me "YES" - sis

"this is the most interesting crack I've ever had"

"I'm including you in my will, you can have my carcass"

"I've finally experienced kinetic energy" - [youngest] "I don't think you know what that means" - [sister 2]

"what is it called when they raise the cost and lower the value?" - [sister 3] "Desperate." - [youngest], without skipping a beat

"dad, you are a material girl."

"That was a scary Alabama moment. I thought you two were making out!! "

Things my parents have said:

"Only a true addict would have a preference" - mom

"Every time I see an equation, saltwater protrudes from my eye. Call it a tear" - dad

"Christmas nazi?" - mom

"The albino broccoli with cheese is not yet done!" - mom

WHO GAVE MY GRAMPA A NEW WIFE?! - mom

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. It's going to be very hard though" - dad

"at age 9 or 10, I was quite influential among the Norwegians" - dad

"you have a once-per-session limit on Rick rolling them! You don't want to be known as the Rick roll girl!" - mom

"My soul is filled with mirth, I might shed a tear or two" - dad

"The rules of my classroom are as follows: no poking butts!" - mom

"If you joined the spelling bee group, you're in trouble. I do not support that." - dad

"I just drank water" - [youngest sister] "And you feel justified in your actions?" - dad

"You took your prom away from me!" - mom

"So I got mad, and I smashed it, and I swiped it all into the pan" - mom "This story is intriguing, continue" - dad

"did you buy it in standard or high definition?" - dad "I don't remember, is there a difference?" - me "Um yes, standard should be illegal" - dad

"I bought him because he had a cute butt" - mom

"It's okay. You can burn!" - mom

"He's a puppy!" - mom "He's a low-life." - dad

"There's always a morning poop!" - mom

"the ham is missing in action, it is nowhere to be found." - mom

"You can't give Clara Barton peg legs!" - mom

"you have a utensil called a fork, which you can use to manipulate the food streaming down your face." - dad

"I think I'd rather snort cocaine" - dad

"You can't just go burying bodies in fields!" -Mom

"Don't eat at dinner time!" - Dad

"I am Tony Stark, glad you finally figured that out" - Dad

"I GIRLBOSSED that kitchen" - Mom

"Jacksie Person Series" -Mom

in a baby voice " But he wants his crack cocaine" - Mom

"You know I only have eyes for the chicks" - mom

"LOL semi colon parentheses!" - Dad

"Sometimes I read the ten commandments, and I go ’thou shall not kill'? Nah!" -dad

"I'm going to Costco" -mom

"right now?" -dad

"yeah"-mom

"do you hate yourself?" - dad

Things my friends have said:

"Touch my pecs like a real man"

"I had to teach class with the ghost of hell on my knuckles"

"I've french kissed two cows !!"

"Are you licking me?"

"I'm gonna pee on you"

"You're licking my forehead!"

"Once we see the pew pews, we'll shoot."

"I don't look at your butt when you sleep"

"I'm on TikTok again, shut up"

"Nobody cares about your ugly crap car"

"Can I steal a child?"

"Only with consent"

Things my professors have said:

"excel is the closest thing we have to magic"

"You guys are now my favorite students. Everyone who left is ... dead to me."

"I'm implying causation from a correlational study, which is a sin, so shame on me"

"I enjoyed making bombs when I was a teenager"

"I've only been wrong like 3 times in my life, so that might've been the 4th"

"My last piece was was a poem i made about the Grinch, but it's not that good, so"

"I'm like a terrorist"

"In the words of rafiki, it is time."

"I have 2 phobias in life: One, snakes. Two, lotion"

"If you have those feelings murder, let's meet and talk about some things. On zoom"

"We're gonna play a terrible game: which sin is worse?"

"When you follow someone, usually you call that stalking, i call it opportunistic geography"

"His eyes, oh yes his eyes"

"Let me be clear, I didn't break the law"

"I'm never gonna do a marathon. That's too much. That's silly land"

"Is this (refers to mustache) causing it or are you just trying to be ugly?"

"You're enough? No you're not! I'm gonna make this into a sign 'you're not enough'"

"we taught you that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and we're not gonna let you forget it"

"Ok well criminals are way smarter than those guys!!" (Those guys = Mexican border control)

"These things are 100% McNasty"

"I did nothing wrong! I went there, I gave them the money, and I left! That's what I'm gonna tell Jesus on judgement day. And plus I already bought it before I knew it was stolen"

"I got drugs, let's do what's called better living and use them"

"That's why we call it a bomb calorimeter because it was a bomb in it!"

"I'm powered by the sun!!!"

"dairy cows are like formula 1"

"If you send that to me I'll send it to my wife and she'll put my name on the chore chart lower"

"I skipped step 4. Chickens could die"

"I forgot to tell you, crying is allowed in class. But the rule about crying is you have to raise your hand before you cry."

"Should I divulge the fact that I'm a nerd?"

"you can wake up now, the chemical equation is gone"

"You can tell your mom it's okay to take estrogen"

"Try not to melt in an ugly way"

"If any of you need help planting corn, yo I can help with that"

"well... When a mommy cow and a daddy cow love each other very much..."

"I got mad at them so I drugged them"

"If you ate bacteria, it would be really good for you. Given they were dead."

"you guys are the rats"

"Do you still brush your teeth? Do you want friends?"

"It's a huge book, it's in my office if you want to see it and/or use it as a weapon. It works!!"

"When you have children, you have to name your first son after this guy." (professor) "Is this required to pass the class?" (student) "...yes." (professor)

*laughing uncontrollably/nervously "I should be fired"

"I'll go through puberty someday"

"If anyone got 3 I'd suggest you go to the underwater basket weaving class"

"This is called a 'do your best assignment'."

"I follow him without him knowing, but not in a creepy way"

"you keep coming to my class with the potty and spanking examples"

"The best thing about having kids is that you can brainwash them to love the things you love"

"Goodness sakes, I love your questions. And hate them"

"Was I reinforced?" (student) "Heck yeah you were" (professor)

"Ghost them and then keep ghosting them"

"you have no friends"

"fight, flight, freeze, swear,"

[sightofslumber]

Happy Valentines Day, me

Kind of bought myself roses today but really they're moreso for Aphrodite because I asked her recently what sort of offering she wanted & she was REAL quick to "say" roses.

I gave one to the cashier at the Taco Bell drive-through window & she smiled :')

But also, my dad got me two rose bushes & a succulent! I've been wanting - nay, NEEDING - roses on this property since I moved back here, so I'm quite happy about this.

Had a cute text from Kelsey this morning asking if I'd be her Valentine hehe. We didn't get to spend the day together because I had to work, she was coming back from Austin & had a doctors appointment, but we're aiming for a Galentines soon. 💖

I've had excellent convo with Alex off & on throughout the day, &&& he made me this playlist. The heartbeats bleeding into each other with the Beating Heart Baby/Wildest Dreams transition ugh toooooo good.

Frank keeps laying next to me since I've been home. 🥹 And he sat on my lap TWICE last night!!!

Despite not feeling very well physically, & a smöl amount of tears, today is good.

Ronnie threw out a "Happy Valentine's my love" & said he missed me 😳🤭🤭🫣🙃 oooook that was unexpected.

Did I get a big stupid smile on my face? Yep. But was it also immediately followed by an ache in my heart because reasons? Also yep.

And that's all I'll say on that right now. Sigh.

& idk maybe kiss someone. The thought of it hurts right now but I sure hope it doesn't anymore by then...

Next year though I want to dress up & set a ~vibe~

roses & candles

lace, silk, velvet

the scent of vanilla & nag champa. watching the way smoke tendrils dance off of incense.

an overabundance of pink & red crystals

music that feels soft & warm

red wine & delicious food

mmmm

[slashingdisneypasta]

Total Drama Villains x Reader || Drabble Set

Plot: You forget to take a towel to the shower and only realise after the shower, so you open the window to stick your head out and ask whoever's out there (Hoping someone is out there) to grab you one but to your chagrin- there's just a villain.

Includes: Chris, Heather, Mal and Scott.

Warnings: Mmmm, I dont think so. Swearing? A kiss?

~~~

All:

You slowly look around the room, very very aware of the fact that you're naked and cold in a room that does not have a great lock on it. "Ohhhhhh no." The words come out low and steady... but are just brimming with panic.

No. Towel.

No towel!!

Finally you gasp, covering the bottom half of your face with your hands and looking at the benches and the sinks in dread. You accidentally came in here without a towel!!

The sudden sound of footsteps out the back of the cabin rips a gasp from your throat and you lunge at the window, unlatching the lock and opening it to see who it is. Before you even stick your head out, you're calling for whoever it to stop. Please. Hold on! I need your help!

Chris McLean:

*You are an adult camper.

When you actually see who's standing out there, you groan. Chris McLean stands outside on the grass, hands in his pockets and an intrigued look in his eyes. He know's he's about to be amused, or he's going to amuse himself depending on what kind of trouble you're in- or what kind of help you apparently need.

"What's up?~"

"Nevermind."

"Oh no no no! Come on, you can confide in Uncle Chris, cant you?"

A whine tumbles out of you. Uncle Chris?? Grooooooooss. He see's and acknowledges your disgusted reaction to him calling himself that, but just giggles. He doesn't leave, to your utter annoyance.

What other choice do you have?? Rolling your eyes, you look down at your feet instead of meeting his beady eyes and wiggle your toes. And mutter suuuuper quietly, half hoping he doesn't hear you. "I forgot to bring a towel... and I really need one... " And, this part you say especially quietly. For seriously asking Chris fucking McLean for a hand would be akin to letting your dignity pack its bags and fly the coop. "... and would you please get one for me... "

"... Sorry, I didn't catch that. What didja say?"

Oh god. A little louder, you say shortly. "... I forgot a towel... "

Chris smirks at that, rolling back on the feels of his feet. "And? What would you like from me, Y/N?"

Finally too frustrated to keep playing this stupid game with the show's host, you snap your eyes up to his and cross your arms. "Fine! Damnit. Get me a towel, please."

Immediately, a cat like grin slowly spreads across Chris' face. Its the most evil thing you have ever seen.

"Now why would I do that when I could get Chef here to send in a buncha rabid bats with you and flush you out?" Christ teases - no, threatens. But then again, does he know the difference in the first place? - , that famous, alabaster white, terror instilling grin on his face as usual. "Now that's, good TV!"

You groan, head falling back on your neck, in frustration. "Chrr-ris!!"

"Ha ha! Well? What do you expect?" You cant argue with that, but you cans till groan again. "Okay, fine. I'll get you a towel! But what will you do for me, heh? Nothing comes for free."

"Oh, don't I know it. I've been on this show for 3 seasons now." For some reason.

"Heh heh."

"Fine, I'll... " Ugh, something for Chris... You blow air out of your cheeks slowly, in thought. What would Chris like? Well, he'd sure get kick out of you getting one of your friends hurt but that's sure as hell not happening. Finally, after a few moments, you get an idea. And scowl. "I'll be sure to drum up some drama for you. Good TV, right?"

"For sure! Promise?~"

Sighing, you lean tiredly on the window sill. "Oh, I cross my heart and hope to die." You promise him like he's a child, which he basically is. Chris McLean has got the maturity level and the intelligence package of a 7 year old on crack.

"Wicked! Heh heh, this'll be good. Okay, hang tight. I'll be back."

You smirk at his retreating back.

~

When he finally gets back and hands you a towel - a much nicer towel then what you and the other campers have been using. Which is nice? But also, you cant help but worry about what kind of strings might be attached to it, - through a crack in the door, you carefully wrap it around your body and tightly tuck it in.

"I'll want that towel back" He snaps, cranky. Why?? He could've just gone and gotten you your towel! "I imported that from Fiji!"

Of course he did.

Now you take a deeeeeeep breath, gathering all your courage, and killing the butterflies reeking havoc in your stomach. Then open the door again and grab hold of the front of Chris' signature teal shirt and wrench him close before he can walk too far off.

And you smash your lips together and slam your eyes tightly closed.

When you pull back from the kiss - a horrible, unpleasant, bad kiss, - you immediately wipe your mouth with your arm and let him go. But when you reveal your mouth again, you're for damn sure smirking at the stunned man. "Is that dramatic enough for you, Chris? A camper and the host? Scandalous- I bet we'll be front page news."

Then quickly you lock yourself inside the bathroom again, not really caring for his reaction- which only comes, finally, minutes later when you're half way dressed.

"DAMN IT Y/N!!"

Heather:

"Hm." Heather crosses her arms, an evil smirk on her lips- opportunity has knocked on her door. Or, the inside of the shower cabin. "You need something from me. Well! What will you do for me return? Hm?"

As expected. "I will vote for whoever you want me to at 2 different instances of your choice going forward. Except for myself, I wont vote myself out."

She thinks for a moment, but definitely looks pleased. "Three, different instances of my choice."

Fucks sake- "Fine! Just- please! I'm getting cold and one of the boys could come in here at any time and see me butt ass naked!!"

Uncrossing her arms and setting her hands on her hips instead, Heather laughs. "Oh- one of these boys? Shower? Haha. Have you smelled them??"

You blush darkly at her joking with you; At your worry but not your expense, before shaking your head of silly feelings and usher the pretty girl Heather, forward. "Go! Go! Get my towel already."

"Be right back." She rolls her eyes, heading off.

~

When she gets back, she reaches up to the window with the towel and you gratefully take it, beginning to dry off any drips from your body and get dressed as quickly as possible. "Thank you Heather!!"

"Mhm, yeah. Sure."

A few minutes later when you leave the door, Heather's waiting for you on the porch and you basically have a small stroke- jesus christ, why is she there!? STILL!?

"Oh, relax. I'm just cashing in some of your part of the bargain." She sneers, walking closer to you and pressing a sharp fingernail into your chest. "Dont forget, you owe me now."

"I remember Heather, we did this like 10 minutes ago."

"Good." She smiles, a tint of evil to it still. Pleasantly surprised that you're being so obedient. She leans back. "Okay, so Gwen's got to go. You got that? She's out. Vote for her and you're third done with your debt to me."

"Yes ma'am." You smirk, brushing by her and stalking off back to your cabin to put away your things.

Heather watches, hands on her hips and her own smirk on her lips. You might just be useful out of this bunch of losers. Not quite a diamond in the rough, but... better, at least. For sure. "Hm."

Mal:

"Oh- Mike!" You exclaim excitedly as soon as you see the lanky, dark haired boy. What luck!!

But then he slowly turns around; A dark, sinister grin on his face and hair over one eye. And your heart immediately drops.

This is not Mike. Neither is it Chester, Svetlana, Vito or Manitoba- any of which would have been just fine alternatives for this moment.

This has to be fucking Mal. You've met him before, and absolutely nevermind on the luck front.

"Nope." Yep- the grizzly, deep voice that responds to you can belong to no one other then Mike's chaotic evil alter. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. You continue to chant curses in your head as he turns around fully and comes forward, looking up with evil glinting in his eyes at you like a twisted Flynn Rider to your Rapunzel.

The kind that makes you rather stay inside your tower- its safer here then out there with him. You don't go out to meet the rabid pit bull!!

"Ummm, nevermind! Go about your business, I'm fine here. See ya!"

"Oh no. What'd you want from little Mikey?" He asks, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side, cruelly inquisitive. You chew on your bottom lip. Damn it; You've peaked his interest. Fuck.

"Um... " The sound comes out quiet and insure as you look down at the grass before his feet instead of his face. You're so nervous. "Well, I... I forgot my towel before I took my shower, and uh... I was just gonna ask him if he could go get me one."

For a moment, he's silent. Your gaze flickers up to his face to see an utterly wolfish look on his face, eyes gleaming with mischief before averting your eyes again to the grass.

Then a loud puff of hard, unpleasant laughter escapes him. He doubles over, holding his stomach as he guffaws at your embarrassing situation. You roll your eyes and cross your arms.

"Oh shut up," You snap, bravely- making him cut off his laughter immediately and look at you. You dare to fucking talk to him like that? "Come on, go get me a towel, please!! I'll owe you one."

After a moment, he stands up straight again and crosses his arms. Yes, he could do something horrible to you right now to teach you not to talk back to him; but it looks like you're going to struggle without his help. All he has to do is watch! "Hmm, nope!"

"Come on!"

"Not gonna happen."

"Ugh." You groan, leaving the window and Mal and plopping down on a bench. Fucking bastard.

This is so awkward. Especially since you know he's still out there!! And he could send someone in at any time.

... Minutes later, and you're still dripping wet but now freezing fricken cold, a towel is flung in through the still open window and lands on the wet floor near your feet. Your eyebrows fly up your forehead, as you look from it in surprise and to the window.

Mal's voice calls through it. "There! Its no fun if you just sit and bear your punishment." Huff. You can just imagine the cute boy - the look works for Mike, but is just very odd on Mal, - crossing his arms and setting his jaw, or even pouting. His voice just sound sooo frustrated. "I'll get you another time, anyway. Everyone will go down, eventually."

"Oh... mhm, oh sure." I mean, I can at least listen to his evil babble since he got me a towel, you think as you start drying yourself down and getting dressed.

A moment after you've got your shirt on, the door is kicked open and Mal stands on the threshold, making you jump. "Jesus christ!- "

"Kiss thank you?"

"Get outta here!" Absolutely not!

Scott:

Peering out from the window, you nearly miss the boy leant up against the cabin beneath you, in fact you would have- if it weren't for his bright orange hair. You gasp, unintentionally getting his attention and smiling brightly when he looks up to find you. "Scott!"

A confused, yet somehow still evil expression paints his face. "Y/N?? What are you doing?"

"Well farm-boy, how do you feel about giving a lady a hand??"

Scott snorts, getting off the wall and stepping back to see you properly. "Lady? I don't see any lady here."

Oh- Bastard. You look back into the bathroom before disappearing from the window for a moment before returning, and promptly clobbering him with an empty shampoo bottle. "You see her now!?"

"Ugh... yeah." He grumbles more malleably now, much more open to suggestion as he rubs his forehead. "Sure, now I see her... ow."

Now you feel a little bad. He looks so pitiful when he's in pain... and yes he's a rat but... its still not okay to hurt someone. You aren't Chris. And also you're getting colder and colder as the water drips unimpeded down your skin and maybe its making you soft. "Ohh... okay, I'm sorry."

He glances up at you, surprised at your apology. "Ahh, no problem, I guess... " Did someone just apologise for whacking him on this show? He crosses his arms, raising a curious look to your disembodied head. "Uhh, what'd you need a hand, with?"

"I... kinda... forgot a towel... could you please go get one for me??"

For a moment you watch his eyes narrow and a wicked grin flicker at the corners of his mouth and get anxious that he's going to ask for something in return- before he rolls his eyes and just shrugs, turning and heading off to the cabin. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Be right back- try not to gather too much attention, haha."

As he walks off, you duck under the window again, sighing in so much relief. "Thanks, Scott!"

~

When he returns, you're waiting at the door and crack it open just enough to get the towel from him immediately- which you quickly wrap around yourself comfortably and sigh. "Thank you so much!"

"Hm. No problem." He huffs, wondering why the hell he did this for you anyway and crossing his arms again.

From inside, you carefully ask: "Are you gonna get weird if I hug you now?"

Immediately Scott's ears go bright red and he quickly loses every little bit of cool-guy vibe from a moment ago. "I-In your towel?? N-No!! I mean- yes!" He rubs the back of his neck, looking away from the door like its you, or he'll accidentally spontaneously develop x-ray vision and damnit, he's a gentleman. "I mean... " Or at least he tries to be.

Grinning, because Scott's unexpectedly cute now that you've flustered him, you quickly open the door, hug him quick, then close the door again and shout 'BYE'.

[mirrorsblogs]

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐲, 𝐊. 𝐁𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨

summary: this is a continuation of a previous story where the volleyball teams call the captain and his girlfriend, mr. president and first lady. this time it’s with bokuto and i’m think of doing this with kuroo and ushijima!! lmk if you wanna see that!

tws: none

The weekends at Fukurodani were usually quiet but today there was a bootcamp of sorts with volleyball teams from Tokyo and Miyagi. It was the last hour or so before it was lights out and you and Bokuto were hanging out with some of the other captains and players.

You were talking to the captain of the Nekoma team while Bokuto was animatedly conversing with a player from Karasuno and the captain from Karasuno. 

“There’s this amazing restaurant not far from here,” you said. Kuroo had previously asked about good places to take his girlfriend around Tokyo and you brought up the suggestion.

“Where’d you find out about it?” He asked, Kuroo had his phone out and was adding to an already extensive list of places.

“Me and Bokuto went there once,” you said. He proceeded to type something else and then stored his phone away. 

“Really?!” You heard the orange haired player from Karasuno yell out.

“Yep!”

Kuroo and you drifted towards their conversation and you all became one big group. Everyone in the group talked about different things and something caught your attention,

“They call your girlfriend, what!?” You asked. It was a genuine question considering it was a strange thing to call someone. At your exclamation, Daichi laughed and waved his hands.

“She finds it endearing, considering that she gets to call me ‘Mr. President’ so no harm done,” Daichi said. He put his title in air quotes and a smile grew on his face at the thought of his girlfriend.

“Hey, we should use that here,” Washio said.

All the Fukurodani’s volleyball boys' eyes lit up and they all started voicing their agreement to the idea. Akaashi smirked at the notion clearly not taking it seriously whereas Bokuto thought it was a cute idea. That boy held you on a pedestal and he was going to do everything to keep you there.

“Maybe not, considering it might go to someone’s head,” you whispered laughing with Akaashi who smiled, clearly knowing who you were talking about.

“Hey! Rude!” Bokuto yelled out, faking being hurt. His hand clutched over his heart to exaggerate his point.

“Sorry, sorry!” You said making your way over to Bokuto to hug him. He pulled you in and you both sat down together when the large group moved to a common area near where everyone would be sleeping. Your head leaned against Bokuto’s shoulder and Bokuto’s arm was placed lazily over your shoulders.

Everyone was talking and conversing while Bokuto and you glanced at each other. At some point Bokuto nudged your shoulder causing your eyes to meet with his.

“Hey you look pretty,” he whispered into your ear. Your cheeks grew a scarlet red and you smiled wide.

“Thanks but you look prettier,” you whispered back, causing his already wide smile to somehow widen even more.

“Not possible,” Bokuto whispered. At this you laughed quietly and the blush on your cheeks turned a scarlet red. 

On the other side of the room Washio had noticed the two of you glancing and whispering at one another. This caused him to call out to the group,

“Look at our First Lady and President! They have love in their eyes!”

This of course turned all eyes towards the two of you and both of you looked embarrassed to say the least. Bokuto responded quickly by yelling out,

“Watch it, Washio!” 

The names stuck ultimately and Akaashi at one point had taken to using the nicknames.

“Enjoy your night, Mr. President and First Lady,” He said, bidding you two goodnight.

“Even you, Akaashi! I thought you were on my side!” You called out towards his retreating figure. You swore you could have seen the smirk on his face.

“What would the first lady like?” Bokuto asked. Tonight you two were getting dinner together and you had agreed it was Bokuto’s choice but as usual he always let you decide.

“Mmmm that hotpot place near your house sounds good right now,” you whispered walking down the street.

“Then onwards we go, My Lady!” He called out. You laughed at his absurdity and  chased after him as he ‘charged’ into nonexistent battle. 

“I think you’re getting your time periods mixed up, Mr. President,” you whispered when you finally caught up to him. You were out of breath and Bokuto only laughed at your comment. 

“My lady is tired, I must carry her!”

And so he did, all the way to the hotpot restaurant. Even when his legs burned he still carried you all the way there.

[jilytho]

strangers in a bar

Happy Jilytober!!!! "speaking of mothers, fancy becoming one?" cocky James meets Lily in a bar

Read below or on AO3

Longest day of work. Followed by the longest train ride. Followed by pushing through a throng of thousands of people seemingly with all the time in the world when she was already twenty five minutes late to meet Mary for a drink. All topped off with a venmo and message from Mary right as she was finally sitting down on a barstool ordering her wine.

Sorry love, just got a massive order, going to be here all night. Have a glass of vino on me!

Lily rejected the venmo immediately, of course. Mary’s bakery had just got off the ground and Lily knew how important orders were for her at that stage and there was no need to take her money. She’d drink her wine and get home in time for Bake Off reruns, not a bad day all in all. She signaled the bartender to close out her tab afterall and opened up Bumble. If she was going to sit here alone, might as well swipe on some potential matches.

“He’s a loser.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“He’s a loser.” the man repeated, shifting fully to face her, leaning his side against the bar. She hadn’t noticed him before but he must have been sitting somewhere along the bar.

“Who is?”

His glass was empty and even as his body was turned towards hers, his eyes remained focused on the bartender, signaling towards his glass and nodding towards her near empty one as well. It wasn’t until the bartender had nodded back to him and begun to grab bottles that he turned to look into her eyes. Dark hazel, thick tortoise frames, tousled hair, beautifully chiseled jaw.

“Whatever sorry tosser left you sitting here on a barstool all by your lonesome.”

“What exactly makes you think I’m here because of a boy? Can’t a girl just go get a drink by herself?” she wrapped her fingers around the newly filled wine glass and avoided eye contact, taking a sip.

“I’ll make you forget his name”

She spluttered into her drink and looked at him incredulously but he held her gaze steadfast, unwaveringly confident.

“You’re pretty presumptuous, aren’t you?”

“I prefer the term confident.”

“Mmmm a narcissist's favorite excuse.”

“You know what they say about narcissists,”

“That they’ll never love another more than they love themselves?”

He scoffed, “Sure, or that it typically doesn’t come unearned.”

“Not only is that literally not a saying but what I have heard is that lying to yourself can be even worse than narcissism. Causes premature wrinkles.”

“Please, look at us. Barely a wrinkle between the pair.”

“That’s because I’m honest. Never told a lie.”

“Now is that so?”

“Yep.” She punctuated the p sharply, smirk tugging at the corner of her lips as she leaned back in her chair.

“So now if I were to ask if you were attracted to me, you’d have no choice but to tell me the truth,” he leaned in closer, eyes sparkling down at her.

“Now see, I don’t lie,” she dropped her voice to a whisper and leaned in closer, “but my mother also taught me that if I don’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. So perhaps it’s better if I bite my tongue on that one.”

He laughed earnestly, warmly, head thrown back in a way that filled her with immediate satisfaction, warmth spreading across her chest.

“Wow. Beautiful, clever, and cruel. You really were made for me, weren’t you? C’mon now, loosen that quick tongue for just a second. Tell me what you really think.”

She leaned back in her chair and made a show of looking him up and down, eyes slowly trailing his entire figure. He practically loomed over her as he remained standing, leaning closer and closer down over her seated figure. And damn if he wasn’t ridiculously fit. And exactly her type. Dark blue button down tight across his shoulders, sleeves sinfully rolled up to his elbows, seamlessly pressed grey trousers.

“Well, if I were to speak purely objectively,” he leaned in closer and nodded.

“You’re pretty fit.” His entire face lit up, pleased and smug, whole body shifting slightly closer to her as she leaned in closer. “Shame about the personality, though. Really ruins the whole vibe.”

He threw his hands over his heart and winced, “You wound me, deeply.”

“You asked! Don’t ask for the truth if you can’t take it, another lesson from my mother.”

“Well you can blame my mother for my inability to take criticism. While yours taught you sensible things like to only say the nicest and most truthful and deeply hurtful things, mine taught me that I had invented and then hung the moon and therefore the rest of the world existed because and for me.”

“Poor woman, she must have been deluded early on. A face only a mother could love and what not.”

“Prefer to think it’s the ‘what not’ part of it all. Speaking of mothers, fancy becoming one?”

She choked on her drink. He patted halfheartedly in between her shoulders - and no she did not notice how his hand was so big it spanned practically completely across her shoulders and why is that even attractive? - and passed her a napkin.

“I don’t mean tonight, of course, if that’s what you’ve stopped breathing over,” his pats turned to a light rub along her back. “I just thought maybe you’d like some additional practice.”

Her eyes narrowed as she regained control over her breathing and she twisted in her chair, forcing his hand to drop off her back, immediately missing the contact.

“I don’t go home with presumptuous and cocky boys.” Her words were biting, although traitorous butterflies were still running rampant in her stomach from their brief point of contact.

“Well, do you go to dinner with them?” His tone turned polite, mild even, as if they were discussing the weather and he hadn’t just offered to father a child with her. “Or maybe lunch or coffee? Coffee might be more the cocky guy from the bar date but really I’m partial to dinner.”

“Are you pleased with this turn of conversation?” she spat through gritted teeth, “Seriously, are you happy with how you’ve handled this?”

“I’m talking to you so I’m happy. And I’m happy I said whatever I said that gave you this lovely flush you have now,” his finger traced up from her neck to brush her cheek lightly as if tracing the blush, sending tingles shooting down her spine.

He caught her eye and her mouth went dry. Deep hazel, flickered with gold, filled with something that looked eerily close to hunger.

“I’m James, by the way. I feel like we might be on a first name basis now that I’ve asked you to join me for essentially every kind of meal.”

“Charmed, really,” she waved two fingers towards the bartender until he nodded in acknowledgement and moved to pour her another drink and ignored the traitorous conscience in the back of her brain screaming that she was only meant to be here for one.

“This is usually when you’d tell me your name, if you’re new to this,” he had leaned down to whisper the words in her ears, hot breath on her ear, one inch closer and his lips would be on her.

She chewed on her lip momentarily, hearing Mary’s voice screaming louder and louder in her head about letting loose as it spoke over the whispering voice of her mother reminding her that this was a strange man.

“Evans. Lily Evans,” she spoke into her drink and took a deep swig.

“Evans. I like it.”

She scoffed at him, eyes narrowing in on him instantly, “so glad you approve.”

“I do, really. Lily Evans. Rolls off the tongue, truly. But you know what might sound even better?”

He sat down on the barstool next to her now - finally, a voice in her head whispered as they were now perfectly aligned eye to eye - and tugged it closer to sit closer to her own. She tilted her head slightly, silently requesting he continue.

“Potter. Lily Potter.”

Her eyes narrowed instantly, “and I suppose Potter is what, the name of a good friend of yours?”

“I do consider my father a good friend so yes, I suppose in a way.”

“Dinner, a child, marriage. You’re really willing to commit to living a full life with a random girl in a bar. For all you know I could be a murderer. A serial killer. A lying, nefarious, arsonist with a family in three different counties wreaking havoc and crime along the countryside.” His eyes never wavered from hers as she ranted, crinkling in the corners, drinking her in and practically sparkling.

“What can I say, Miss. Evans, I trust my gut. And my gut says that if you truly are a lying, nefarious, philandering woman with likely multiple warrants out for her arrest, well then I guess I’ll be the Clyde to your Bonnie.”

Their heads were barely two inches apart, she could feel the warmth of his breath as his hand ghosted along to cover her own that rested on the bartop.

“Alright then, Clyde.” The words came out as a faint whisper, “You’ll probably be needing my number then. To organize our crime spree and what not.”

His grin overtook his face, eyes somehow turning more beautiful as they sparkled at her, “and what not, yes I think that’s for the best.”

She turned away from him and reached into her purse fishing out a pen, not allowing herself to think through her actions or words for another second, lest she hesitate. She scribbled her number on a paper coaster and stood up before turning to look at him, just barely taller than him for the first time that night. He sat there, perfectly patient, quieter than he had been all night.

She passed the coaster to him wordlessly, a fresh blush flaming up the back of her neck as his hand brushed hers to take the coaster and held her hand, not letting her pull back just yet. “It’s been a pleasure, Bonnie.”

“Likewise, Clyde.”

She squeezed his hand once before slipping away and out the door without another look, knowing that just seeing his face again would make her go back and go home with him that night instead of waiting for his call.

She had walked two doors down from the bar when her phone began to vibrate in her purse. She fished it out and pressed it against her ear while hailing a cab, assuming it was Mary checking in.

“Hello?”

“Go to dinner with me tomorrow night, Bonnie.” She almost dropped her phone in surprise at the deep voice that was decidedly not Mary.

“Don’t know,” She croaked out, “I thought coffee was the more appropriate meal for a cocky stranger in a bar.”

He chuckled lightly, “Maybe. But we’re not really strangers anymore are we? I even know your name now.”

“Alright then,” she breathed out as a cab pulled up, “dinner it is. It’s a date.”

She hung up without hearing his reply, swinging herself into the cab. She looked down at her phone’s call log, considering saving his contact when a Bumble alert came through with a match.

She didn’t hesitate, without looking at the match she deleted the app entirely.

[kittydripuwu]

eren and levi nsfw hcs

a/n: ok so i have no idea what this is so just enjoy i guess

words - 496

warnings - nsfw, minors dni

genre - smut hcs ;p

eren yeager

- oh mY

- well you are in for a wild ride lemme tell u that

- so fucking kinky i swear

- DOM DOM DOM DOM DOM

- not a single submissive bone in this mans body

- most random fucking pet names

- theyre either super endearing like angel, sweetie, kitten, love, baby or super degrading like my little whore, slut, bitch

- loves to call you "good girl"

- please if hes feeling angry or a lil more on the mean side that day, you are getting it

- will fucking rearrange ur guts <3

- very passionate and kinda rough?? kisses?? like ok sir

- he owns you, ur his

- doesn't even need to leave marks cuz

- he makes sure everyone knows that ur his already

- loveS to have his dick sucked

- he just loves to see you on ur knees for him its such a pleasant sight ugh

- has u wait like that tbh

- if u think ur going in for 1 round

- ur VERY wrong

- ugh hes horny ALWAYS

- call him daddy

- pls he loves it sm it drives him insane

- loves toUCHING you like fr he loves physical touch

- aftercare w this man is pretty good

- cleans u off, gives u solid cuddles and apologies for hurting u <3

- hes so fucking sweet but can fucking rUIN you remember that

- will treat u so fukcin well <3

levi ackerman

- mmmm

- discipline kink

- yep

- also brat tamer

- mans will  NOT tolerate any disobediences

- u misbehave? u get fucking bent over his desk

- will fucking TRAIN YOU to be a good little obedient girl <3

- "that's a good girl" "my good girl"

- not a heavy user of pet names but he loves calling u "brat" and "baby"

- LOVES to make u suck on his fingers

- he finds u so cute when u aren't making noise <3

- his kisses are pretty passionate i mean like dayum

- loves to kiss all over your body, marking you his

- loves to have u sit on his lap while hes doing work

- whether ur just in his arms or cockwarming him

- yes

- he loves cockwarming <3

- having u sit on his lap and keep u warm is just all he needs

- GODLIKE stamina

- fr fr

- won't allow u to move to keep u on edge until hes done his work

- ;p

- aftercare will not be grand

- he'll just clean u off and apologize for hurting you

- will wrap his arms around you in bed and let you fall asleep in his arms

- we all know levi doesn't sleep so he'll just lay there holdin you

- thinking abt how much he loves you <3

- cause ugh he just has the sweetest spot for you

[merrellholland]

Jealous → p.parker

Before you read: italics = flashbacks/memories

The beautiful girl with y/h/c was at her locker, getting the materials needed for next class. All of a sudden a pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind. The girl laughed a little bit, knowing that it was her boyfriend Peter Parker.

"Hey there, beautiful," Peter said to her. She laughed even more, "Hello to you too Parker" she replied. She turned around to give Peter a quick kiss, it was cute. He then wrapped his arms around her waist, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with his brown curly hair.

"So what class do you have next?" Peter asked. "I got chemistry–" She said. "Ooo well look at that, we're already having chemistry right now" Peter interrupted with his lame and cheesy pun. The girl bursted out laughing, "Seriously?" she asked in a jokingly manner. Peter just smiled at her.

"Hey, how many more minutes until next period?" the girl asked Peter. He looked at his watch, "Mmmm... about 10 minutes left" he said. "Alright–" the girl said but was then interrupted with a tall man approaching them. He had slick black hair and was wearing a graphic tee and some jeans. He was also the boy that had a major glow-up over the past 5 years... after the whole blip thing.

"Hey!" He said to the girl, mostly directing the attention to her and keeping little attention towards Peter. "Hey Brad!" she said. "Soo... I'm having a party later at my house cause my parents are out of town for the weekend. Would you care to join?" Brad said... mostly directing his attention to the beautiful girl with y/h/c hair.

Peter slightly grew jealous. Brad knew that Peter was in a relationship with the girl, yet he still had the audacity to ask. But the girl was completely oblivious to the fact that Brad was trying to ask her out. Peter's hands grew into fists. His knuckles turned white, his jaw clenched. He was about to say something until–

"Sure we would love to go to your party!" She said to Brad. Brad's face dropped a little, "We?" he asked. "Yeah?" She said in a long and stretchy tone, also confused, figuring out what she said wrong. "O-oh I-I just thought that you would come alone" he said.

The girl laughed a little, "Come alone? Oh come on, I can't go alone to a party!" She replied. "So then who are you going with?" Brad asked, slightly annoyed. The girl laughed again, "I'm going with my boyfriend!" She then looked over to Peter.

Peter smiled happily. Gosh, he was so in love with her. He then put his arm around her shoulder, "Yep, that's right! I'm her lovely boyfriend!" he said gladly. Brad scoffed, "Fine. Whatever" he mumbled.

She laughed, "What's his problem?" "I don't know, but let's just forget about him... we got to go to class in two minutes," Peter said. She smiled, "Alright lover boy" she said. Peter laughed, "I love you so much" he said, he really was head over heels for her. "I love you too Peter" the girl said. They then both shared a sweet and soft kiss. Then Peter went up to kiss her forehead and then hugged her. He felt safe and warm, she was his world.

++++++

"I love you so much" he said, he really was head over heels for her. "I love you too Peter" the girl said. They then both shared a sweet and soft kiss. Then Peter went up to kiss her forehead and then hugged her.

And there you were. You were getting the materials from your locker for your next class. You knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but you couldn't help it. You loved Peter so much that it hurt. So when you heard him saying all of those sweet things to her, you couldn't help be jealous. All those memories came flashing in.

Peter was taking you out on a date. Apparently his Stark Internship offered him a reservation at an expensive Thai restaurant with a plus one as a way of saying, 'good work' . Peter chose you to be his because you were his lovely girlfriend. You were wearing a beautiful floral pink dress that reached up to your ankles and a low-side ponytail. You felt so honored to be his plus one for this expensive dinner.

"Hello sir, do you have a reservation?" the man at the front table said. "Uh yeah, I have a reservation for two and it's under the name Parker?" Peter said. You just smiled down and intertwined his hands with yours. "Ah! Yes, right this way" the man said. He guided you up to a booth in the restaurant, the smell of the delicious meals already making you hungry.

After settling into the comfy booth, you spoke up. "Thank you so much for taking out on this date," you say to Peter, "we haven't had one in months!" you exclaimed. Peter seemed a bit uneasy, "Uh huh" he said while looking around everywhere, avoiding your eye-contact. You furrowed your brows, it was a little strange, but you decided to ignore it.

The waiter then gave you both a menu. You happily looked through it, deciding which meal you should have. But in your peripheral vision, you noticed that Peter's jaw was clenched. He wasn't looking at the menu. He was looking down on the floor, mouthing words as if he was practicing a speech of some sort.

You put the menu down on the table, something was up. "Baby, are you okay?" you asked worryingly. Peter slightly cringed at that word, 'baby'. He sighed, "A-actually w-we n-ne-need t-to t-talk" he stuttered.

"Oh okay" you said in an understanding tone. You then gave him your undivided attention. Peter let out a breath, "So um, I-I know tha-that we haven't been able to go out and spend some time together and um–" he gulped, "That's because, I've been seeing someone else" he said.

Your heart dropped, your lips parted. You gulped, "L-like b-by seeing someone y-you me-mean..." you stuttered. "Yeah" Peter replied. "O-oh" you said in a cracky voice, trying not to cry in public because you were always taught to cry in a private place. "Look y/n, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I did love you, I truly did. But after some time, I don't know, I just–" he sighed, "I don't feel the same way anymore, our love feels like it's forced you know?" Peter said.

"Y-yeah I-I get what y-you mean" you say in a strained voice. You looked down, trying to quickly wipe your tears away. Peter just looked at you sympathetically. After clearing out your tears, you sniffed a little. "W-Well, I-I guess that I should leave then" you say to Peter. He just nodded and looked at you, "I truly am sorry y/n" he said. You stand up from the booth, "So are you really just going to throw away two years of our relationship in the trash?" you ask, still not being able to believe that he's dumping you.

Peter sighed not knowing what to say. You just nodded, "Goodbye Peter" you say, even though you didn't want to say goodbye. You then left the restaurant and you shivered once you've entered the cold windy night breeze. You crossed your arms, waiting for your mom to come and pick you up.

You then realized that you left your purse back at the restaurant. Your eyes widened and then you quickly entered the restaurant. While you were walking up to the booth, you still saw Peter... but he was with another girl?

Your heart shattered, did he really move on that quickly?, you thought to yourself. You slowly walked up to the booth, fiddling with your fingers. Peter and the girl quickly stopped laughing when they saw you. Peter's eyes widened, "Y/N... what are you doing here?" he asked.

To say you were embarrassed was an understatement. You gulped, "I u-um forgot m-my p-purse" you said. "Oh yeah! I was wondering who's purse this was!" The y/h/c girl said. She then handed over to you. You silently took it from her hand. Peter cleared his throat, "Um y/n this is Emily, Emily this is y/n" Peter said.

Emily looked towards you, "Oh! It's nice to meet you y/n!" she said. "N-nice to meet y-you too" you stutter. After an awkward silence you finally say, "Well, I better be going um, it was nice to meet you Emily" you say, trying not to cry. Emily smiled at you, "You too y/n!" she said in a sweet tone. Peter just stared at Emily in awe, he was in love. But he wasn't in love with you anymore.

++++++

Your thoughts were interrupted when the school bell rang, indicating that class was about to begin. You saw Peter put his arm around Emily as they both walked towards the chemistry classroom laughing.

You pulled down the sleeves of your sweatshirt to cover your hands. You walked the opposite way, towards the math classroom. You sat down in the classroom, taking out your notebook to take notes for today's lesson. You were surrounded by classmates by people you never knew nor never bothered to get to know. So there you were, all alone. No friends. Nobody to talk to.

No Peter Parker.

[txdoroki]

Not sure if you were still looking for angst requests, but I've been thinking about either Todoroki or Bakugou fighting someone who had a quirk that allows them to view into another person's mind and take the shape of someone the hero knows. Based on this, the villain takes the form of their s/o and they then have to fight the person they love. Which is hell for them. And they go home afterwards to find the loved one there and waiting for them and it turns from angst to NSFW as the s/o reassures them they are indeed here and real. Sorry if that's too specific, just an idea that's been rolling around in my mind for a while now. Lol.

aww that sounds so sad :( let’s do it :D hope this is good !! and its not too specific, honestly the more specific the better in most cases! 

warnings: none

words: 1,581

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“what is it, little hero? you trying to block me from your mind with something as silly as ice?” the villain snickered, jumping back from the ice that was launched at them and holding their hand out again to try and see into todoroki’s mind.

don’t give up, shoto, don’t think don’t think.

“very interesting, you have a girlfriend waiting back at home, huh? well, i have good news for you,” the villain smiled, “i can bring her here now!”

“don’t you da-” todoroki gasped when the villain’s face and body turned into yours.

“fight me now, oh this’ll be so much more fun!” the villain laughed in your voice, staring at him while he just stood there, “have you forgotten how to use that flashy quirk of yours? or is it because you’re scared?”

he was fighting an internal battle of. should i really? i don’t know if it actually hurts her. i can’t fight her, how will i look her in eyes after this.

“awe, don’t make me start everything,” the villain lunged at him, easily being stopped in their tracks by his ice while his thoughts went berserk.

i can just use my ice.. that’s the safest option right? i’m not using my fire against her.. even if they just look like her i can’t. i’m not my father.

he tried using his ice to trap the villain so he could call the police, but it didn’t work. every time he would, the villain would just break through.

“see, a good thing about my quirk is it gives me a strength boost! gonna have to use that fire, hmm?”

“would you be quiet?” he yelled, putting the villain in yet another ice block. he just needed some way to trap them, to call the police.

“cmon, burn your beloved into a crisp like a good boyfriend.” the villain cooed in your cheerful and warm voice. todoroki tried to close off his ears so he didn’t have to hear the taunts, but he had to use his quirk too often to be able to. usually he loved hearing your voice and seeing you, but right now was not one of those times. well, technically it wasn’t you, but it was starting to feel that way. 

after a while of the ice jailrooms being broken apart by the villain, todoroki decided to give in. he couldn’t do this all night. he had to physically stop himself from screaming when he began using his flames. he had his eyes closed shut, hoping that the villain’s quirk would shut off sooner rather than later.

while flames surrounded the both of them, the villain dropped to the ground, tears flowing from your- their eyes. the sight broke his heart, but this was the only way. 

“why would you do that to me, sho? you promised you’d never hurt me,” the villain sobbed while shoto used his fire on them. then they let out a blood curdling scream when the fire came near them, and it sounded exactly like you. 

while he called the cops, shoto stared at the villain with blank eyes, wanting to throw up. he couldn’t believe what he just did. your screams echoing in his ears.

once the cops arrived and took away the villain, shoto ran to find his car and drive home. he couldn’t handle another goddamn fight right now.

you had been sleeping mainly all day, stirring awake when a tingling sensation began to overcome your arms and legs. you had just stayed in your bed and scrolled through your phone, only getting up to see who was at the door.

“oh hey, sho!” you smiled at him from across the hallway. sliding down the hall in your fluffy socks, you ran to him, eager to hold him.

your day had been so boring, and you had been looking forward to this moment all day.

“hi.. are you hurt, love?” his voice cracked, his gaze never leaving the floor.

“what? no,” you embraced him, kissing his shoulder, “i’m in no pain, but what happened?”

“nothing, i’m going to take a shower.” he weakly smiled in your direction, not looking you in the eye still, and put his bag down, hoping you’d let his behavior slide.

you pouted in his direction, concern filling your body. 

honestly, he didn’t feel dirty. he felt disgusting. how could he hurt someone who looked so much like you.

he turned the shower on until it was blistering hot, it burned but he needed something to be able to get the feeling of shame to wash away.

you’re just like your father you’re just like your father you’re just like your father was all his mind was saying, and he scrubbed at his skin, desperate to forget what he’d done.  

a small voice interrupted his thoughts, “baby?” and he heard you step into the bathroom, “shoto come out here right now,”

“okay, what do you need, angel?” he tried to sound as joyful as he could.

“get out of the shower, i can feel how hot it is from here,” you reached a hand into the shower, grabbing his slippery hand and pulling him out.

you handed him a towel, trying to avoid staring at his body. this is a serious moment right now stop being thirsty. 

“what’s wrong?” he frowned when he saw the worried look that was spread on your face, “have you been crying?”

“that’s not important right now,” you whispered, and once he had the towel over his torso you brought him to sit next to you on the couch.

“now, what’s up, princess?” todoroki chuckled purely from how tense he felt, scared to be close to you for fear he’d burn you again.

“what happened today, tell me everything,” you put a hand on his back, rubbing it while he slowly shook his head no.

“i can’t, y/n,” his eyes burned as he felt tears begin to gather.

“please, i can help you!”

with a sigh he told you about his day, leaving you most of the details of the fight with the shapeshifting villain out of it.

“oh, shoto... you’re nothing like your father. you wanna know the biggest reasons why i know that?” you kissed his cheek, “you worried about this in the first place. i know you’d never hurt me,”

“i love you, y/n,” he crumbled into your embrace, “i love you so much,”

“i love you more,” you giggled, resting your head over his while he played with the end of his hoodie that you were wearing.

“so that’s where all my hoodies have been going,” he smiled up at you with teary eyes, finally making eye contact with you.

“yep,” you giggled, ruffling his drying hair.

you stayed in this position for a while, you only moving to caress his body.

“can i get up to erm.. put on clothes,” he wiggled from your grasps once he noticed that he only had the towel on, giggling to himself when he realized you fell fast asleep while holding him.

he quickly got up to change into sweats and a loose t-shirt, tip toeing back to your shared spot on the rather large couch. 

“princesssss,” he whispered and took a seat next to you, trying to wake you up so he could cuddle into you.

“mmmm what do you want,” you slowly opened your eyes and sat up, cocking your head when you noticed he wasn’t in your arms anymore. you yawned, beginning to curl up again before he picked you up.

“i love you,” he sat you on his lap, your legs curling around his waist. you rested your head on his shoulder as he reached for the tv remote.

while you were napping on his lap, he watched some show about tree frogs while running his hands up and down your back.

then he got an idea. it might piss you off but it’d be so funny if he just-

he ran his hand down your back and squeezed your ass. hard. your eyes shot open and you jumped off of him with a startled yelp. he lost it, laughing the hardest you’ve ever seen.

“what the hell, sho?” you teasingly hit the back of his head.

“sorry, angel, i couldn’t help it, that was so funny,” he giggled and tried composing himself, beckoning you back over with grabby hands.

“no, i’m going to nap in the bedroom,” you pouted at him but didn’t move, crossing your arms.

“no you aren’t,” he smiled at you as he got up and picked you up, dragging you back to the couch.

“stooop lemme sleep, i’m tired,” 

“i am letting you sleep, just messing with you, love,” he pouted at you, looking at you with puppy dog eyes until you shook your head and went back into the position you were in.

“fine, but if you do that one more time in going to bakugou’s” you giggled when he rolled his eyes.

“like hell you will,” his grip tightened on you as you went to sleep again, a few minutes going by before you felt his hands grip at your ass again.

“sho, stop,” you batted at his hand, but he grabbed your wrist and put it back around him.

“nope,” he gave you a toothy grin while he kneaded your ass and focused back on the show.

“thank you for everything,” you heard him whisper in your ear, guessing he thought you couldn’t hear him.