#text comedy

[lazyspeedster93]

[softstrawberrycreamcake]

[legalisecatboyss]

phil adding to his reputation of not giving a shit about dan’s health by calling his orthostatic hypotension “so annoying” is giving me life, this man is simply allergic to losing the idgaf war

[bebx]

me, on trial: your honor, it was funny. you just have no sense of humor

[theredrenard]

Incorrect 9-1-1 + text posts (part 2/??) prev || next

[kuwkedits]

☁️Comfy Cozy Monday☁️

The Lov takes care of overworked reader… in their own way

Authors Note:the time stamp matters sorry besties

Tags: c.c.m☁️ / comedy🎭

⚠️CW: Kys jokes, one(1) kidnapping joke, lots of swearing, threats, Arson

[cheese-rat29]

this poor kid. your dad dies, and your mom remarries. your step-dad is cool! he teaches you how to fish and he brings home a bunch of dogs! fast forward a little bit and it turns out your cool step-dad is locked in a psychosexual viscera-filled chess game with a bisexual cannibal. like what do you even do about that.

[emotinalsupportturtle]

..and he wrote them for David Tennant

[becomingvecna]

“I don’t have enough brain cells for this” and “I’m too mentally exhausted for this” should be valid and justifiable reasons to excuse yourself from any task assigned to you by your employer without any consequences or punishment like actually

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was looking for my friend in a dormitory exclusively for transmasc people. He is, in fact, amab, so I don’t know why I thought he’d be there. I eventually found him in the back-row seats of a theater where he was watching a stand-up comedian do a routine about My Little Pony.

[parkerthejester]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

haha just kidding, nothing is free!

100 bucks. fork it over.

[softstrawberrycreamcake]

[psychictimestone]

Thinking about Silver and the references to his love of (blue) skies 🔵☁️

[daily-sifloop]

Day 16: hungry

[purplink8]

My toxic trait is thinking that I'm witty like Elizabeth Bennet but in actuality I am socially awkward like Mr. Darcy