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pint4punt · 5 months ago

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Changing of the Guard:

4 Teams on the Rise and 4 Teams on the Outs

As with every year in the NFL, turnover is aplenty and teams make bold, auspicious moves aimed at turning their franchise into a true contender or (more importantly to some Owners) a team that puts more asses in the seats than yesteryear! On the other side of that coin, we have the teams who maxed out their credit cards with overpriced veterans and ‘savvy’ draft picks that ultimately…….were as risky as advertised. Word to the wise, Afterpay is a slippery slope!

This is a key reason about half the playoff deck gets reshuffled year-to-year with the only sure bet being that Mahomes and the Chiefs will win the Super Bowl if anything other than Tom Brady gets thrown at them. With the regular season (FINALLY) back this week, today we’ll call our shots on four candidates to regress and miss the playoffs and four newcomers on the rise we expect to make some serious noise!

Budding Super Bowl Contender Houston Texans?

Sure this team made the playoffs last year, but it’s hard not to view them through a different lens this time around. It seems only yesterday the Houston Texans were the favorite punching bag of the national media as well as this particular group of stooges. Yet after a prolific offseason, we’re once again reminded of what one great draft class can do for even the most hopeless franchises. Even most die hard Texans fans couldn’t name more than 3 players on their 2022 roster. Fast forward to 2024 and they might just be the most loaded team in the AFC.

The stars truly aligned for the…..star last year when the Panthers chose Bryce Young over CJ Stroud, allowing hometown hero Demeco Ryans to immediately find his franchise quarterback before his new team had even played a snap. What Stroud went on to accomplish as a rookie could only be described as sensational and prodigious. This clearly isn’t lost on the Texans as they spent nearly $180 million in free agency to ensure the sequel is even better than the original, adding elite talent such as Danielle Hunter, Joe Mixon, and Stefon Diggs.

For a team that already features the reigning Offensive AND Defensive Rookie of the Year in Stroud and Will Anderson respectively, along with breakout stars such as Tank Dell, Nico Collins, & Noah Brown, these moves are all very aggressive. Like OJ fed up with his wife aggressive. And we fucking love it. Stroud is cheap, the Salary Cap is only going up, and no Quarterback has taken the league by storm this fast since our Lord and Commander Patrick Mahomes (and he had a year to marinate). The Texans won the division and a playoff game in the first year of the new guard, just imagine what they can do with a shit ton of spending and another year in the system.

Sun Setting for the Cowboys?

God bless the Dallas Cowboys, they truly disappoint their fans every year. And in our opinion, the annual letdown will be them getting bounced from playoff contention altogether this year (which just means their season will be a week shorter than usual). While that’s not as fun as watching epic playoff collapses where they get blown out at home by a QB with no postseason experience or lose on the road while playing an aging Running Back at center, we just don’t think they have the horses this go round.

Sure, you can put star players like CeeDee Lamb and Micah Parsons up against the best of the best in the league and Dak Prescott is a regular season hero. But that clearly hasn’t been enough when the lights get brighter and Jerry Jones did nothing to address that in an offseason in which he claimed to be ‘all in’. Mix in lingering contract extensions for Dak, Micah, & Head Coach Mike McCarthy along with rumblings of player discontent with Jerry Jones and it’s easy to see a playoff picture sans Dallas. That is of course unless resigning their long snapper galvanizes the locker room!

Can a New Super Weapon Help Kyler Murray return to prominence?

The Cardinals first raised eyebrows last year when they handed the aforementioned Cowboys, a team viewed by many as a Super Bowl contender, their first loss of the year. The team many expected to be in the Caleb Williams’ sweepstakes looked surprisingly competitive and competent under first year Head Coach Jonathan Gannon. And that was without former first overall pick Kyler Murray in tow, who didn’t make his debut until Week 10 as he continued to rehab a torn ACL.

Less than a year later, the Cardinals arguably came away with the best consolation prize of the draft in Marvin Harrison Jr., a player viewed every bit as talented if not more so than his Hall of Fame father. Murray and the Cardinals needed an injection of talent in the wake of moving on from an aging Deandre Hopkins and lacking a true number one receiving threat. Between the projected rookie phenom, promising young tight end Trey McBride, a backfield duo of James Connor & Trey Benson, and a healthier Murray with a proper offseason in Gannon’s system, it’s easy to envision this team giving the established threats of the NFC serious hell and returning to the playoffs this year.

Will the Jaguars Regret Paying Trevor Lawrence?

In Doug Pederson’s first year, the Jaguars had to feel like the sky was the limit. Pederson took over for a coach with more controversies than Hunter Biden and it took the eventual Super Bowl Champions to end their season in the divisional round. Surely, with another year in the system and the addition of an alpha receiver rested up from a gambling suspension, this team could only do better right?

Despite a bit of a rocky start, it sure looked that way in the early throngs of the 2023 season as the Jaguars started off 6-2. Then they ran into a really pissed off San Francisco team coming off a three game losing streak (and a bye week) and Mr. Irrelevant made all the throws a number one overall selected QB simply couldn’t in a 34-3 drubbing. Which really begs the question Jags’ fans must hate asking themselves: Is Trevor Lawrence really the guy?

Sure his college highlights are spectacular and Joel Klatt probably personally sucked him off before the 2021 draft. But what has he actually done as a starter in the league? 20-30 record, averages 13 interceptions a year, has never broken 30 touchdowns in a season, and now he cost $275 Million. Couple that with missing the playoffs last year, losing his top weapon in Calvin Ridley (to a division rival no less) and the AFC South taking significant strides this offseason, and it’s easy to see this team disappoint even more than your first time.

The Atlanta Falcons Might Have Overcorrected, but You Would Too with Desmond Ridder

Heading into 2024, Hotlanta had gone the way of Sydney Sweeney in their three most recent drafts, opting to do the sexiest thing possible at every turn. Instead of the functional family friendly crossover SUVs such as Offensive Tackles or Defensive Lineman, they’ve consistently spent Top 10 Picks on Sports Cars such as a Tight End 4th overall in 2021 and using the 8th overall pick in back-to-back years on a Wide Receiver and a dynamic pass catching Running Back. This was all done for a grouchy walking taint of a Head Coach who refused to use any of these incredible weapons purely out of spite just to fuck your fantasy team even if it meant going 7-10 every year. Needless to say, that didn’t sit well with Ownership and there’s a new sheriff in town with the homecoming of Raheem Morris.

Morris didn’t mince words about the other major problem with this team at his introductory press conference and well, regardless of what you think about how they addressed the QB room, you can’t argue that they didn’t thoroughly address it. While some felt paying Kirk Cousins $180 million and then selecting Michael Penix Jr. (you guessed it!) 8th overall, was overkill and detracted from a potential Super Bowl 59 run, you have to admire the balls of this organization to say ‘fuck it’ year in and year out. While the QB situation could easily get messier than Drake’s family tree if this team doesn’t gel right away, it can’t be worse than watching Arthur Smith take turns screaming at Desmond Ridder and Taylor Heinicke for not executing his genius trick play to his back up Tight End every week.

Incoming Growing Pains for the Buffalo Bills who are Still Looking to Pop That Elusive Cherry

Look as stupid as we are (and make no mistake we are very stupid) even we wouldn’t be so ignorant as to imply that a team featuring Josh Allen at Quarterback wouldn’t be a serious threat to any opponent they face. That being said, it’s hard to envision this team being the powerhouse that had many deeming it a Super Bowl favorite two years ago. Between age and cap constraints, Buffalo had to thin the herd this offseason, opting to move on from key players such as Center Mitch Morse, Safety Jordan Poyer, Cornerback Tre’Davious White, Outside Linebacker Leonard Floyd, and most notably, Wide Receiver Stefon Diggs to name a few. Jesus there’s reshuffling the deck and then there’s declaring bankruptcy. Hell Brandon Beane even said on Hard Knocks that he wouldn’t move into the top 10 because he couldn’t afford to pay a pick that high.

Buffalo shifted their identity last year after firing Offensive Coordinator Ken Dorsey and handing play calling over to Joe Brady mid-season. It was a bold strategy Cotton, but it paid off as Buffalo went from being outside the playoff picture to winning the division. They’ll need their ‘Run First’* identity to carry over into 2024 as they rely on a receiver by committee approach in light of the Diggs trade. Their best hope is Keon Coleman winning over Josh Allen as fast as he probably won over Macy’s Corporate Team (seriously where is the fucking endorsement deal guys???)

The Bears’ Optimism Runs as Deep as Their Pizza

Before Caleb Williams even touched a football with his meticulously manicured nails on the pro stage, many already believed the first overall pick would go on to be the best Quarterback in the history of the Bears’ franchise. That’s both a bold take and a testament to the sheer mediocrity Chicago has fielded at the game’s most important position year after year. His preseason performance did nothing to dissuade this notion either, with him making several eye popping throws in limited action. While the Bears are infamous for never having a QB eclipse 4,000 passing yards and for giving Aaron Rodgers controlling ownership of their franchise, there is finally genuine reason for fans to be excited both long and short term.

While Caleb is still unproven at the pro level and we’ve all been woefully underwhelmed by another ‘generational prospect’ in this article, he couldn’t possibly be set up better coming into the league. The Bears really laid the groundwork for this rebuild last year when they insisted on DJ Moore being included in Carolina’s package for the 2023 1st Overall Pick. That trade gave them a true number one receiver with which to properly evaluate previous starter Justin Fields as well a key piece for the future.

What they couldn’t have seen coming was Bryce Young and the Panthers being so god damn awful that it would also yield the 2024 1st Overall Pick. But they didn’t stop there. They traded for Keenan Allen coming off one of his most successful years in the pros (which is saying a lot given his resume) and used their own first rounder on arguably the best Wide Receiver in this year’s draft not named Marvin Harrison Jr. If Caleb Williams can’t succeed with two elite veterans who combined for over 2,600 yards and 15 touchdowns last year, one of the top young weapons in this draft, and a Defense that tied for first in interceptions (22) last year, then it’s time for Chicago to start asking if they’re truly cursed at the position.

Miami is Now in the Eye of Hurricane Tua

The Dolphins are one of the most entertaining teams to watch in the entire league when they’re firing on all cylinders. It’s like poetry in motion and ballet wrapped together in teal and orange. The problems surface when they run into physically imposing teams that disrupt their flow and make Quarterback Tua Tagovailoa uncomfortable.

Let’s be honest, their Wild Card playoff loss to the Chiefs was every bit as predictable as the Democratic Party forcing Biden to drop out of the election. Like actual dolphins, they thrive in their own environment, but get them in the bitter cold of January and they quickly become endangered. Sure the idea of OBJ joining a receiving corps that already features Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle sounds exciting, but Miami hasn’t struggled in January because of a lack of receivers and Tua isn’t likely to connect with his plethora of weapons often if he has disrupters in the AFC like Will Anderson and Danielle Hunter breathing down his neck.

Further complicating matters is the Dolphins giving said finesse QB $212 million dollars. 2024 is the calm before the storm, because as things currently stand, Miami is $29 million over the cap for 2025 per Spotrac. With a wide receiver duo in Hill and Waddle set to (justifiably) cost over $51 million next year, this season is feeling a little last-dancey for a team that seems ill-equipped to play football in the winter.

Don’t get us wrong, we think Mike McDaniel is unequivocally one of the brightest offensive minds in the league. But at the end of the day, it was east to push this team around last year and with offseason losses such as Defensive Tackle Christian Wilkins, Linebacker Andrew Van Ginkel, and Guard Robert Hunt, along with a now very expensive Quarterback who has yet to win a playoff game, we fully expect them to be drive hunted by the best of the AFC. But hey, for our money, they still have excellent fantasy options and the best coke in the nation!

Don’t agree with our list? Fuck you! Just kidding, give us your thoughts in the comments.

#nfl #football #houston texans #dallas cowboys #chicago bears #jacksonville jaguars #buffalo bills #miami dolphins #atlanta falcons #arizona cardinals

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