#texan vampire

[mayday396]

You know I was watching some American shows and then I come across a Review video of "Why are there so many Confederate Vampires?" by Princess Weekes

That really got me thinking what Vampires but they are just part of the Union, like imagine this gal being like, "DId yoU oWn SlAveS?"

And the Vampire just sits there, drinking Cheap Wine mixed with Blood, dude is not even fabulous, not a Twink, a pretty thick guy, he just sits there in sweatpants, messy unkempt hair and a shirt on that he embroidered himself, he says to her, "Why the fuck is that the first thing that came out of your mouth?"

He was just super shocked and pulled out an old Union Flag, much flabbergasted and very hurt, "WERE YOU HOPING I WAS RACIST?"

"Take a Good look at me, do you think I gained wealth, nah you scoundrel I fucking procrastinated!"

"I mean Robert E. Lee was kinda Hot but I AIN'T A FUCKING GRAYBACK"

(He's Texan and he just sided with the Union Army)

[lauralot89]

Actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel, without context:

A character has ominous nightmares and attributes them to eating too much paprika

Dracula first appears wearing a fake beard

The person he was trying to fool with the fake beard immediately realizes Dracula and Beard Guy are the same man, due to both having really firm handshakes

We are told parrots are immortal unless fatally wounded

A Texan cowboy opens fire on a bat flitting around a window, and lodges a bullet in the wall of an occupied room

A woman is called a polyandrist for receiving blood transfusions from multiple men

An incorrectly addressed telegram leads to two deaths, multiple druggings, and several children being assaulted

Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, takes a lovely trip to the zoo and freaks out the animals so badly that he gets mentioned in a newspaper article

The one character who knows anything about vampires spends a good two-thirds of the book refusing to talk about vampires

Dracula went to Satan's Witchcraft Academy and somehow this is only brought up in two throwaway lines

A character gets stuck inside a circle of communion wafer crumbs

A major plot point of the book is Dracula (who was said to be a brilliant scholar and has the strength of twenty mortal men) realizing he can move boxes without human help

Someone is referred to as "manifestly a prig of the first water"

Two characters have a hobby of reading train schedules

A hospital lets a mental patient escape to see what will happen

A character starts vomiting up feathers from eating whole birds

A doctor refuses to give a medical diagnosis and instead makes a speech about growing corn

Dracula impersonates another character just by wearing the same clothes, despite being taller and visibly much older. This deception is successful.

A character "cleans" a room by eating all the insects in it

Suddenly: rats. Thousands of them.

The heroes progress in their efforts through "the wonderful power of money," i.e., bribery

Dracula has three other vampires in his castle. Their relation to him is never explained, nor are any of them named.

A character insists his salvation depends on having a pet cat

Dracula is thwarted by flowers on more than one occasion

A group of vampires stand in the hall outside a man's bedroom, talking loudly about their plans to eat him. When he comes to the door to confront them, they run away laughing

Dracula wears an unfashionable hat and gets roasted for it

A group of Romanians encounter a disheveled, shouting man and, "seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they [give] him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached."

A boat crashes due to Dracula having the munchies

A wolf is thrown through a window and immediately runs off, confused and covered in glass

Dracula makes a bed

[7layerburittoboy]

cw/ horror and gore ig

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the second half

[satanismandsoup]

Beetle

"I want to hang from the most fragile elm branch by my neck

I want to bathe in the blood of dusk

Dance on knives

Run with scissors

I want to flood again and again

I want my house to be destroyed over and over

I want my wounds to never heal"

-me

[aethslove]

texan vampires be like:

HOWdee partners, i’d like to suck yer blud

[4x09]

I Love Bathory because nowhere does he claim he wants to save people. He just wants to kill vampires

[leftmysoulbythesideoftheroad]

watching vampire diaries with my mom (i’ve seen it a hundred times, this is her first), and she made me realize that no one in this show has an appropriate accent except for bonnie’s grams.

i just. how have i never noticed this. they’re all supposed to be from fucking virginia, and they sound like generic californians. like. this would be like setting a show in england about people who were born and raised in england, except they all sound like americans. do you know where virginia is? it’s just above the carolinas. it’s next to kentucky, as in the fried chicken.

i’m just losing my mind. this is like #2 on my favorite shows list, and i’ve watched it several times since i was 17, and i have never noticed how fucked up all the accents are.

[quincey-morris-tx]

Good night for studying our quarry with that Van Helsing fella and his books

x x

[notgreengardens]

I didn't finish Dracula Daily last year so I thought Quincey was a funny character because he is a Texan cowboy in an English gothic novel randomly shooting at bats to kill a vampire but now that I am actually keeping up this year (thanks to the incredible work of @re-dracula!!!), I stand corrected. Quincey P. Morris is a hilarious character because of his ability to turn every single male character that is drenched in misery 90% of the time bisexual with the sheer power of his manly manliness and what I assume to be a mighty moustache and the bushiest chest hair possible showing under his half unbuttoned shirt.

[gaypirate420]

Boyfriend // Jasper W. Hale.

Jasper Whitlock-Hale x male!reader.

A/N: Just wanted to write the Cullen's being a family and Jasper being a ranging homosexual.

Summary: Jasper likes a booooyyyyyy uuuuhhh~

Fluff. Blood drinking (animal).

Esme was in the kitchen, making some food for Bella now that the girl comes for dinner almost everyday. The mother of the household saw a particular blonde coming downstairs with a smile on his face and fingers texting rapidly.

Esme smirked, she was filled with curiousity, Jasper rarely leaves his room and rarely smiles, no, he doesn't smile at all.

"Where are you going, hun?" The woman asked, the blonde stopped on his tracks and his smile has now faded but maintain a polite smirk that seems only reserved for any women that holds authority over him.

"Just goin' for a walk, ma'am." He spoke softly, Emmet from the couch laughed, the mother arched an eyebrow and Jasper narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"He's going to see his boyfriend!" Emmet shouted from the living room, a laugh coming from Edward followed.

"He's not my boyfriend." Jasper rolled his eyes and meet his "mother's" teasing smirk.

"Yet." Alice chimed in with a smile.

"Go ahead, Jasper. Tell Esme who is not your boyfriend." Rosalie spoke after Alice with a playful smirk. Jasper furrowed his eyebrows to his "twin." Should he tell Esme? He doesn't tell her anything anyway.

"Isn't he one of Carlisle's ancient friends?" Edward spoke this time from the couch, Esme tried to guess which one of their friends could be Jasper's type, or at least what she thought it's his type.

"He's not ancient." Jasper spoke with a defensive tone which made the rest of his siblings chuckle.

"He's like a million years old." Emmet said from the living room.

"So who is it then?" Esme spoke politely and took Jasper by his arm but not really touching him. Jasper sighed, he feels embarrassed and angry.

Jasper said your name.

Esme's mouth opened to speak but closed immediately. She knew you, or well, of you. You're not really the extrovert type and the only vampire that hasn't had a problem with you is Carlisle. You're a little too mischievous for the rest of vampires.

"May I go now, ma'am?"

"Yeah his boyfriend gonna be so mad if he arrives late for their date!" Emmet shouted again, making everyone laugh. Jasper thinks about attacking his "brother" to make him shut up, those loud thoughts making Edward feel uneasy now, hitting Emmet with his elbow discreetly to shut him up.

"Do you like him?" She whispered. Jasper nodded, a small smile appearing on his rosy lips.

"Yes, ma'am." The blonde whispers back. Esme nodded and smiled widely.

Jasper is reserved, withdrawn and he seems miserable most of the times, but right now, he looks happy.

"Does he treat you well?" She asks something that is very important for her, the blonde's lips curl into a smile again and his mind reading brother read all of the sweet thoughts he got about you.

"Yes, ma'am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jasper walked through the forest, the moon was about to rise and the air was cool.

Someone is running near the woods, the leaf crush under the rapid walk.

His golden eyes looked around, trying to find the source of the sound. The trees, he can hear the wood cracking and the leafs falling.

"Look over here, goldilocks!" You shouted.

Jasper smirked and turn around to see you up on a tree. You jumped and landed infront of him.

"Did I scare you, cowboy?" You spoked teasingly as your red eyes meet his golden ones.

"I was trembling with fear, pretty boy." He muttered softly, his texan drawl making you feel all tingly. He couldn't help but to stare down at your lips as they curled into a smile.

"Let's meet at the top of our tree!." You smacked his shoulder softly before zooming out. Jasper chuckled and started to run behind you matching your incredible speed.

You did a spin and take a bunny that passed by. Jasper shaked his head.

"Stop showing off!" The blonde shouted behind you. You laughed.

"You're jealous you're not as cool as I am!" You responded before starting to climb a tree. You could hear Jasper catching up with you before you jumped from one tree to another, feeling the wind hit your face and the comforting smell of plants after a rainy day.

Jasper admired your vampiric beauty as he ran, he felt those strange tingles in his stomach again. He couldn't take his eyes off you.

You climbed and jumped until you stopped at the tree you've designated as yours and Jasper's. You looked down at him as he climbed up to meet you.

"You lost." You teased as you hold the bunny on your arms.

"I let you win." He replied with a smirk. You laughed and sat down on the branch of the tree.

"You lost and loser's don't get juicy bunnies for dinner." You bared your fangs at the small animal, Jasper looked at you and smirked.

"I dare you to do it. I want to see you drink the blood of an animal, pretty boy. Actually drink it." He talked between a chuckle. You furrowed your eyebrows and growl at him playfully before taking the bunny and bury your fangs on the small creature.

You pulled away, he could see you swallowing the blood before your face scrunched into one of pure disgust.

Jasper bursted laughing at you.

You smiled, you've never heard his laugh, it made you feel a strange sensation on your stomach. Or it may be the horrible sip of blood you've just drank.

"May I?" Jasper asked holding his hand out for the bunny.

"It's all yours, blondie. I warn you, that's the worst blood I've drank in four hundred years." You handed the perishing animal to his pale hands.

Jasper bared his fangs, his pupils dilate, hiding his golden eyes behind a pitch black wall. He buried his fangs deep into the animal, the bunny screamed but the cries died down quickly as the vampire drains it's life.

A couple of blood drops fall down his sweater. The blonde pulled away and tossed the dry cadaver of the animal down to the forest.

You couldn't pull your eyes away.

That was hot you have to admit. You cleared your throat.

"Do you actually like feeding from animals?" You asked, you always wondered if animals are as tasty as humans, Jasper thinks for a moment about it, he nods.

"It was hard get used to the taste. But it is better than feeling like I want to kill myself after each feeding." He spoke softly and with full honestly.

You lean over and wipe the blood from his lips with your thumb.

Jasper froze for a second. Your touch was gentle, his shoulders relaxed. It's been decades since he felt something so nice.

Your face was now so close to his, your eyes meet. If there's a word that defines you it's impulsive.

You lean over and lock your lips with his. It was a slow dance, shy at first from both parts.

Jasper pulled away, his golden eyes wide and shiny, he was about to withdrawl but instead came back in full force. Kissing you in a bolder way, his cold hand cupping your jaw.

He depends on the kiss, a delicious moan leaves his lips, a groan from your part following after, he's tasting you, touching you and drowning in your scent. He has never felt this way and he couldn't control his urges.

Your back meets the huge tree. Jasper it's almost on top of you now.

The blonde pulls away once more, to take a useless breath. You feel dizzy with happiness because the southerner felt himself radiant with joy.

The two stay silent. Eyes lingering into each other for a couple of seconds before Jasper's lips touch yours a third time. This time it's more gentle and loving.

"I've wanted to do this for a long time...ever since I met you, you light up my world, darlin'." He whispers, you can only look at him, you've never had anyone be this soft and caring with you.

You want to speak, to say you've felt the same way, that he became very special to you, that he made you feel worthy and loved.

But he could feel it too. He knew.

His lips leave a soft kiss on your forehead before he rests his head on your shoulder. You smile and wrap your arms around him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Heyyyy, sorry I've been away. I'm really focused on school and that's why I haven't written shit. This was on my drafts so here it is. You can still send requests or asks just know I'm going to take a little of time in answering. Hope you liked it!

[that-house]

December 3rd, 2031 – Sixty degrees, clear skies, and a nice southeasterly breeze. It was a beautiful day to lay siege to Dallas. It was a good thing the weather was nice, because everything else about the operation looked rough. Marian couldn’t wait.

Dallas was a classic Texan fortress-city, two rings of forty foot tall concrete walls with a killing field in between, bristling with anti-aircraft cannon. The ground-facing defenses were a little less thorough, but a few machine guns would make quick work of any infantry charge and Dallas had more than a few machine guns.

“We aren’t being paid enough,” Suzy griped. She was crouching in the shade, alternatingly blowing a bubble of gum and taking swigs out of a bottle whose contents were hidden by a paper bag.

“We’re mercenaries. Get used to it.” Marian hoisted her gun onto her shoulder. “Besides, they don’t exactly expect us to succeed.”

“Oh, are we leading a suicide charge? I wasn’t paying attention to the Duke.” Suzy was never paying attention, but the benefits of having her around outweighed the drawbacks. Most days, at least.

“Pretty much.”

“Did the guys we’re with know this was a suicide charge?”

Marion looked around at the Jeep the Duke of Austin had hastily assigned the duo to. The soldiers suddenly all looked a bit green around the gills. “I’m guessing not. Chin up, boys! Auntie Marian won’t let any harm come to you.”

One of the men, a lieutenant, managed to find his voice. “Why are we here?”

“The Duke hopes that we’ll die loud enough that Dallas won’t notice his bombers taking out the emplaced guns. Doesn’t strike me as very sound tactics, but hey, he’s got manpower to make up for what he lacks in brains.”

Silence in the back of the Jeep.

Marian continued, mostly to fuck with them. “And don’t think the tanks’ll be any help. See those big fancy guns up on the wall? Those are lonestar guns. You boys seen lonestar guns?”

“Yeah.”

“So you get the idea. But hey, cheer up! It’s not every day you get to storm the best-defended city in the state!”

The man slowly came to a revelation a long time coming. “You’re insane,” he said.

“Insane was my father’s name. Please, call me Marian Typhoon.”

Suzy cackled. “That was terrible.”

The soldiers looked between the two women, now realizing they were both mad. “How are you two so calm?”

Marian didn’t answer for a moment, looking out at the slowly-approaching walls of Dallas. The lonestar guns’ targeting algorithms would start flagging the vehicles soon. “Suzy, how far out are we?”

“About a mile and a half.” Suzy busied herself checking over her rifle.

“Now, boys, I’m gonna explain two concepts very quickly, so you’d best pay attention. The KL-90 fully automatic sniper rifle, sometimes called “Le Papillon,” was something of a failure, because for some reason those glorious Frenchmen decided to make it fire 1200 rounds per minute, giving it a tendency to dump the entire mag into one poor fucker. Only six were ever made, and nowadays they’re just museum pieces. In 2026, the American military plunged into the deep end of bioweaponry and concocted a little something known as the ‘vampire virus,’ which proved pretty damn lethal in 99.99% of cases. The 0.01% that survived were problematic enough that the program shut down, and all information about it was expunged from the record.”

Marion patted Suzy affectionately on the head. “Now you might be wondering how those two disparate pieces of information might happen to overlap, and if you boys just sit pretty for a moment I reckon you’ll be able to connect the dots. Suzy?”

The last surviving vampire, Suzy Nines, slotted the magazine into her KL-90 fully automatic sniper rifle, and squinted out at the Dallas walls. She squeezed the trigger, the barrel swinging into a wild blur of motion as the sound of gunfire filled the air. “Machine gunners down. Reloading.”

Marian patted the hapless lieutenant on the shoulder. “Come along, boys. Auntie Marian’s got a city to take.”

[aphony-cree]

vampirate

how did i fucking forget htat benny was a pirate. gay cajun vampire pirate is the best idea spn ever came up with they shouldve just ended the show after that

[gayest-classiclit]

Classic Literature Sexyperson Tournament; Round 1

propaganda:

Quincey:

quincey deserves #1 sexyman prize. he is the token cowboy. in a gothlit book. his first instinct when in danger in to randomly shoot through windows to (scare the shit out of) protect his friends. he decided he would literally die for a group of people he met like 3 hours ago because they seemed nice enough. he's texan for christ's sake. tropes: angst (dead), bait, distinctive voice, LGTBQ+ coded (dracula polycule is canon bram told me so), himbo (-ish), well dressed (cowboy).

Dracula:

owwsaawoagghb. older gentleman who is very regal and polite and is a fucking vampire how much sexier can you get

Obv everyone knows vampire sexy. The sensuality of drinking blood is *chef's kiss*. But I just really wanted an excuse to share this one thing, that isn't even related directly to the novel. So, my junior year of high school we read Dracula, and then our class went on a field trip to see a local theatre group perform the Dracula stage play-- and EVERY TIME Dracula came on stage, his neckline would progressively dip Lower and Lower (like. Comedically so) until he was soooo close to showing just straight up tiddie, but still juuuust barely not-- the tease was immaculate and istg it was doing Something for everyone in the audience. It was transcendent. An awakening. Even all these years later when my old high school friends and I bring it up, the only detail we can remember from that performance is Count Dracula's plunging neckline and that's Gotta count for something right

[volturiprincess]

To love You in an Old Way

Jasper Hale x human mate reader

Summary: Reader is a fan of old school love Warnings: None, just pure fluff A/N: This one-shot was inspired by this song I been listening on repeat lately, its called "Amarte a la Antigua" or "To Love You in an Old Way" by Eslabon Armado. I added lyrics from the song onto this (Spanish is my first language so translating was easy) From just that song theres another song I listen from this group and another one shot idea came to idea. There will be another A/N in the end. Enjoy :)

(You can never forget your first love for a Vampire)

“Today we no longer write letters to fall in love

Today the flowers are no longer seen”

I have never been serenaded by gifts or even experienced all those old school love gestures. I always said I had no interest in being serenaded but secretly I wished that everything you see in the movies could happen to me. The endless romance books I have drowned myself in so that I could try to picture myself in those romantic scenes leaves me with an unsaid desire. But it is an unrequired thing, guys at school just don't work like that anymore 

“Where has that romance gone?

There are no longer poems to conquer each other

Now only emails are sent”

That is until a certain cowboy came into my life, Jasper Hale. I always admired him from a distance and didn't really approach him in any way until he awkwardly but oh so adorable came up to me one day and said “Hello y/n would you like to go out with me to a bookstore in Port Angeles”. The way he had a hint of anxiety in his eyes and how he flexed his arms behind his back left me curious as to why he was so nervous to talk to me. From that moment 2 years ago today, we have been together ever since, and yes I do know about him and his family being vampires and his past even. There are days where he has to be away from me to control his thirst but I never feel disappointed or hurt. I do always praise him for how far he has come to being able to be around me without the feeling of wanting to drain my blood in a second. 

But the thing I absolutely love about Jasper is he is an old school lover, makes sense since he is old but he does everything you would see in the movies. At first it started with just short poem phrases left inside my locker or in the books I would read, 

“Loving you the old way, stealing your smiles

Hold your hand, open the door for you, write you poems

love like before”

And from that he started to write full on poems, one of them being called “To love you in old way”, which just hits my heart in every way. He then started to give me little gifts, nothing fancy yet unless you count chocolates but he would give me little drawings he's done throughout the day or once he gave me a bracelet he made that had a small heart and rose charm. I still wear that bracelet to this day. 

“Fill you with roses, sing you songs, paint you caresses”

When he writes me poems, he leaves them in my bedroom with a bouquet of my favorite flowers each time. The way he loves me is something I never knew could exist, he's so suave with his southern charm  and the way he can sit for hours listening to me talk just makes my heart swell. Many would assume just because he's the reserve type he lacks being a romantic type, but when me and him are alone he says some of the most dazzling and mesmerizing things that can put any poet to shame

Like just a minute ago he said this line 

“In you, I have found the love that fills my soul”

And with his Texan accent, it made it more personal.

“Was that an Edgar Allan Poe quote?”

“It was, I figured you would like it for the reason being you love his works”

“Oh you know me so well cowboy”

He smirked slightly and pulled me into his embrace so my back was against his chest while he was leaning against a tree. 

“I like how you learned quotes from his works to woe me, even if he focuses more on the dark and terror of life”

“Well one thing I have grown to know about you is books are a key to your heart”

“Yes true, and food, don't forget food”

The way he laughs makes me melt into him more, his laugh is quiet like the sounds of small bells ringing, so angelic yet at the same time so bewitching.

“I could never forget that about you darlin”

I thought about our first date, I was internally panicking and was overthinking constantly of what to say to him, I was debating to just be myself or my quiet self. What made me loosen up with him was he gave me this aura of calm, at the time I didn't understand how but with that feeling I relaxed and was able to finally be myself. Since our first date was at a bookstore, he held all the books I wanted and he didn't protest or anything, actually he would recommend books or I would catch him sneaking books into my growing pile. After that date, we just knew we fit like a puzzle, it was then confirmed later that Jasper and I are mates which confused me since I am human. 

We would spend hours either in his room or mine reading and then talking about it afterwards. He really is my missing piece to my soul. My parents even approved of Jasper and would be happy to have him over or even letting him stay the night or vice versa. They knew Jasper was the perfect gentleman and wouldn't do anything to hurt me, which is true in every way, even if he does have his days where he struggles with his thirst control.

“Penny for thoughts?”

At hearing his voice through my mist of memories I answered “I was just thinking about our first date”

“What about it?”

“Just thinking how we fit like two puzzle pieces”

He kissed the top of my head and mumbled quietly

“You have no idea how true that is”

I grabbed his hand and traced his visible veins. I would often do that to make him relax more and in a way it comforted me. As for him I noticed he would bury his face into my hair, he says my hair smells like flowers and I could feel him melt everytime he did that. 

“Can I ask you something”

His sudden voice in our quiet bliss startled me

“Yea? What's up?”

“Well I have a supplication for you”

I raised an eyebrow at that word but pulled away from him so I could face him.

“Supplication? You never fail to amuse me with your formal words but continue with your supplication”

His radiantly affectionate smirk spread onto his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled a small box out, seeing that box my eyes widened slightly, is it what i think it is? With opening the box I can already see the twinkling diamond shining through 

“Darlin’ the moment I meet you I felt I could finally breathe again, I felt somewhat human once again and my dark past did not cloud my mind as much, I don't know what I would do if I were to ever lose you or let you do, that might sound selfish but damn dang it I love you doll, Will you do me the honor and marry me?”

My tears were already building up when he barely said his first words. The man of my dreams is asking for my hand in marriage and the way the sunlight was hitting him made him look so surreal, it felt like we were in a dream at that moment.

“YES Jas, YES!!”

His smile widened and he placed the ring on my finger in an instant and pulled me into a deep kiss. This kiss didn't feel like any other kiss we had in the past, it felt like all our past deception vanished and it was just me and him in this whole world. And to think this all started with me craving for that old antique love gestures. 

“Love you the old way, love you like before”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I love Jasper, as I said in one of my past post, he was my first Vampire love until well I discovered Felix but I still love him never less. I have another idea for a one shot with another song but this time it will be about Caius, hence to why I have one of his quotes in my bio.

[picklepie888]

Dracula Mischaracterization Drinking Game

Sit down and watch the Dracula adaptation(s) of your choice, and take a drink anytime these common mischaracterizations occur.

Jonathan

Is combined with Renfield

Dies at the beginning

Is made into a generic male hero

Is a toxic partner to Mina

Barely has any presence at all

Never goes to Transylvania

Is made to be aggresive and "manly"

Mina

Is Dracula's love interest/reincarnated wife

Is indifferent to or hates Jonathan and/or Lucy

Is made into a one-note damsel in distress

Has none of her original intelligence

Is only there as "moral support" for the men

Is a prize to be won by the men

Is swapped with Lucy

Is married to someone other than Jonathan

Dies as a vampire or remains a vampire in the end

Dumps Jonathan for Dracula

Consented to the "Baptisim of Blood"

Jack

Is an old man/same age as Van Helsing

Is Mina's and/or Lucy's father

Isn't friends with Van Helsing or the rest of the Suitor Squad

Is the only present member of the Suitor Squad

Only there to be Lucy's doctor and has no emotional connection to her

Does all the research and work that Mina actually did in the original story

Van Helsing

Is way older or way younger than his original age

Is a badass action hero vampire hunter

Comes from/started a bloodline of famous vampire hunters

Is the only character other than Dracula from the book

Has a first name other than "Abraham"

Has supernatural powers

Is a woman/combined with Sister Agatha

Is the only one who knows Dracula is a vampire and has to prove it to everyone else

Is the one to kill Dracula

Is not Dutch in the slightest

Quincey

Is straight up nonexistent

Is combined with Arthur

Has so little relevancy he might as well not be there

Is British, or anything other than American/Texan

Is a shallow or douchey lover to Lucy

Has a futuristic descendent with more plot relevance than himself

Arthur

Is straight up nonexistent

Is combined with Jack, or Quincey, or Jonathan, or any combination of those

Doesn't contribute or is entirely absent in the staking vampire!Lucy scene

Is Lucy's or Mina's brother

Is a spoiled rich boy who barely contributes to the plot

Lucy

Is swapped/combined with Mina

Is Mina's sister

Is shallow/slutty/bitchy

Is a toxic friend to Mina/secretly hates her

Is framed by the narrative as deserving of her death at the hands of Dracula

Literally asked/invited Dracula to drain from her

Her plotline is ignored/never resolved

Is staked by someone other than Arthur

Is engaged/married to someone other than Arthur

Is actually canonically queer, but she still gets killed

Renfield

Is combined with Jonathan/goes to Transylvania instead of Jonathan

Is the secondary villain/straight up evil

Is way older or way younger than his original age

Remains loyal to Dracula throughout the whole story and never fights/turns on him

Never interacts with Mina

Is shown as "sane" at the beginning

Becomes a vampire at some point

The narrative tries to justify his mistreatment at the hands of Jack

Dracula

Is not "evil," just """misunderstood"""

Is actually the protagonist

His first name is Vlad

Appears and regularly interacts with the other characters throught the story

Is young/handsome/suave

Is here to "liberate" Mina from her "toxic"/"boring" husband

Is combined with Vlad the Impaler/some historical figure

Is obsessed with Mina specifically

Has all queer undertones stripped from him

Is not Romanian/his actor makes no attempt to sound Romanian

Is basically just a characature of Bela Logosi

Only kills the characters who "deserved" to die

Is hurt/killed by exposure to sunlight

Is Van Helsing's arch nemesis

Is friends with Frankenstein's monster

Never turns into anything other than a bat

[moonchild-in-blue]

Van Helsing bestie, you're so right. Quincey is indeed the bravest of men.

I will never not find it funny how this random Texan cowboy figured out the whole thing not even 5 minutes in, while cringe fail Dr. Science Malpractice has been there for almost 2 weeks, and will still take some time to believe in understand vampires. Quincey is all man indeed.