#ten years we were together
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#funny how you can feel like your heartache is healing nicely and then you do something that just rips the scab completely off#and it’s like you’re back to square one#shaking and sobbing#and using up all your tissues in one sitting#feeling thrown away abd beating yourself up for driving her to to the point of needing to throw you away for both your own good#ten years we were together#a third of our lives#a decade’s worth of love turned to poison in your veins#in your heart and soul#and the secobd longest relationship i’ve ever had only lasted 2 weeks#ya it’s just part of life#and it will make good times feel so much more significant#but that does jack shit for me right now
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Memory loss associated with Adhd has got to be the stupidest and cruelest symptom because without fail it's like. Me wavering on whether I should take my meds every single time, followed by sitting on my dumb ass three hours later going "wow, I'm actually feeling emotions and connected to people I've loved and lost and I feel capable of facing the complicated grief and emotions associated with a lot of those memories. I wonder why that - oh. Right. I'm a whole idiot."
#Listening to music from high school/all state band and the first one I thought to pull up#Was of course the piece they played at my friend's funeral ten years ago#And I fully haven't listened to it again even though it was a piece I really loved#And today I just let it wash over me#The recording they used at the funeral was the recording that contained him playing in that year's band!#I was two seats down from him and also in that recording#We were in district honor band together every year swapping who was first chair#But I went to state twice and he went once and it was a constant sort of teasing#I really liked him#We reconnected a couple years after high school but he had already made his plans and was just glad to have me back#For the last little while of his life#One of the only people I ever felt safe being competitive with because we were on the same team even when trying to show each other up#We made each other better musicians#If and when I go back to music and all of THOSE complicated memories I'll be carrying him with me#We should've had more memories#We should still be goading each other on#I should be able to call him up and tell him I'm thinking of him but I can't
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Cannot BELIEVE I got to live out my Tumblr dreams yesterday by seeing the band I created this account to fangirl over with my oldest friend from this site. Insane. Insane!!
#chickenisamazing#we saw Keane last night and got lunch together beforehand and it was so fun! they were fantastic!#last and only time i saw them before was deep in fandom days and the venue had a fire so the show was cut short#i think this healed me a bit lol#absolutely amazing meeting her too and talking about the insane shit we posted about over ten years ago#og followers will know..... it was a very different time and a weird one lmao
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If I could Thanos snap a single time, I think I might use it to teach all the "But she supports Israel! :(" crowd what the Overton Window is and how we shift it left.
#israel#palestine#2024 presidential election#kamala harris#you fucking morons are literally interfering in the best chance that has existed in YEARS#to actually shift the COUNTRY to the left#You want to unsupport Israel?#We have a presidential candidate who supports a two-state solution#With years of experience negotiating in the region#Normalizing ideas that were “radical leftism” ten years ago#This isn't just about Kamala Harris either#the democratic party#at large is actually working together to change policy for the better for good#people like#bernie sanders#are playing the role of radical on certain policies to make Harris' stances seem more middle-of-the-road#This isn't just about this election cycle#Or the next four years#It's about starting to counter the country's rightward momentum in a meaningful way#This is about elections in twenty years not being between a fascist and a centrist#but being between a centrist and a leftist#and y'all can't see past the end of your goddamn noses to understand that#You're not just failing to understand the dynamics that will affect the specific conflict you care about#You're continuing to enable the system that caused this problem in the first place#You're setting everything up for this to happen again in other places#And to top it all off#you're going to sacrifice me and people like me on the altar of your ideological purity#you're no better than the fucking Zionists you despise
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*through clenched teeth* no matter how hard i try i will never change the minds of the purposefully misguided because they are choosing to look at things from one bad faith perspective to convince themselves that they are right and no matter how many times they're proven wrong, they will turn a blind eye and continue to claim a false moral high ground
#gahhh i KNOW they won't change their minds but like. do you not see whats in front of you? do you not see the story that was told?#i know you're doing it on purpose necause its easier to convince yourself that the Real Reason you hate him#is because uhhh remember how he used to be ten years ago? remember how he used to act? ignore the fact that his entire character in those#episodes was supposed to be “reformed bully” to more effectively convey the change that hen and chimney instilled at the 118#ignore the fact that this entire show is built on the idea of second chances and redefining yourself#ignore the fact that josh looked down the barrel of the camera and said sometimes we hurt others to protect ourselves#things we aren't proud of. things we can't excuse or defend. but you have to understand it even if you don't like it.#the entire thesis for this show is people change and grow and become better if given the chance#and tommy was given the chance and did a lot of work to improve himself off screen#even before he came in season 7. he is officially in the henchim family in season 2#going out to bars together isnt smth you do with your piece of shit coworker you hate#throwing a party for your coworker#but none of that matters. because you all decided the minute you realized that they were telling a love story#that you didn't WANT to like him#but its not that you didnt like HIM. its that you didnt like the relationship. because it wasn't the one you were rooting for.#you're working backwards from that conclusion and finding the pieces along the way#so nothing i say. no matter how many times tim minear says that tommy changed and grew#no matter how many times buck says that he loves tommy. no matter how many times eddie hen chim all say tommy is cool#you will still sit there seething at the idea that buck fell in love with tommy and not eddie
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I know it’s not Munday but @the-bark-is-worse and I are spending the week together for the first time in about 4 years!
Tonight we are out at Mr. Frenchie’s gig listening to Yacht Rock and eating charcuterie on a vineyard patio. What beautiful adults we’ve become. 🥹
#though last night we poured over all the trash we’ve written together in the past ten years lmao#jeepers we were awful#ooc#min#thebarkisworse
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as someone in the pining phase of childhood friends to lovers I do NOT recommend. 0/10 overrated
#and this is going on the horse game blog because she follows my main#it sucks being in that phase of people who are so close people assume we're dating#And we LIVE TOGETHER#so even tho there's times I'd put my literal life in betting that it's mutual I cant say anything!! because what if it's not!!#and I make our living situation awkward!!!#post brought to you by visiting our friends today and they just assumed we were dating since we moved in together#and also got excited when they thought we leaned in for a smooch when I was whispering an inside joke#Gripping my chair clenching my teeth#SSOblr how to know if ur friend of ten years is flirting with you or is acting like a friend of 10 years#no glue no borax#thank u
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BIRTHDAY
Birthday! :D
#Doodles#DDoodles#Lalaloopsy#Day after now since I was asleep haha ♪ But the birthday was fun! :D#My big presents this year were Super Mario Galaxy - my first 3D Mario game! :D#We have to find our Wii first tho lol - it's also my first-owned Wii game!#Have I mentioned lately that I'm slow to technology adoption lol#I'm looking forward to it tho ahh ♪ It was one of the shortlist I made for our Wii :3#So looking forward to adding to the collection hehe#And I got a Lalaloopsy! I think this is the first time I've drawn one of my collection digitally? Lol been long enough#This one is Blossom Flowerpot ♥ Isn't she adorable hehe#She came with all her clothes! Yay!! I love when they still have their ensemble ahhh it feels like such a treat#I'll have to count what I'm up to at some point lol - no repeats so far!#And then it was another of the dollar store trinkets but smol and I ended up having a silly amount of fun with them lol-#I dunno if this is a universal elementary school experience but counting blocks? Did everyone have those?#The ones that are broken up into individual blocks and then ten-block sticks and 100-block slabs?#They were my absolute jam lol I liked them even better than lego - and now I'm into Minecraft! Huh! Haha#We started tossing around the idea of painting them to look like Minecraft blocks and fjdsafsd it would be so cute!!#Glue two of them together and make super chunky ''player'' models and snow golems and the like hehehe#I always love a fun craft idea ♪ And modular Minecraft toys are so fun to me!#It was a good birthday hehe ♥♪
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When I was in high school I used to perform gospel songs at church with one of my best friends. She sang, and I played accompaniment and sang backup. We were actually really close! Then I went to college and we suddenly weren’t anymore—she’d stopped talking to me so she could date this grown man she liked, who I hated.
So when I came home from college that summer, I stopped singing songs with her and started performing at church on my own. The first one I sang was about how people change for the worst slowly, over time. Anyway that’s MY silver springs
#kylerrambles#for the record i was right about the guy#she got engaged to him and THEN found out he didn’t want kids#not to mention just being an awful entitled a-hole of a man anyway#always found it funny that her parents were briefly on MY side bc they hated him too#but the compulsory heterosexuality euphoria won them over in the end#our barely-legal daughter has a boyfriend! hooray!#neither of us would have ever considered our friendship gay but it’s still funny#it was a very public breakup regardless i bet some of the old church ladies gossiped about why we never performed together anymore#anyway it’s been almost ten years and i’m very amused by it all now#my song choice included because the song is. objectively. awful#but nineteen-year-old me thought it was clever#and now it’s past midnight and i am telling all you lovelies on tumblr because it crossed my mind earlier as i played the piano#another reason we shouldn’t let kyler nightblog
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Just something I was thinking about after reading one of your metas. TB uses “fond and more than fond of” when it comes to Rhaenyra and Laena to state they had an affair. Exhibit A:
And this is just one of MANY times I saw them using that argument… only to turn around and say that Daemon “being more than fond” of Nettles isn’t romantic? Hmm, the math isn’t mathing (I am not one of the people who think “more than fond” is any indication of a romantic relationship, Nettles and Daemon have tons of other stuff that make it obvious they were an item, but I just find it funny how they fumble with their own explanations).
Seriously they use one line to justify the weird Daemon x Laena x Rhaenyra the second coming of the Conquerors incest fest, but Daemon and Nettles was for sure 100% platonic(with all the evidence including them bathing naked together and people literally being frightened that Daemon would kill them if they touched her)? Yeah, it’s not adding up.
They always use that argument because that’s the only one they have to prop up that ship.
Honestly, they can’t have it both ways. Scratch that, they can not say one relationship that has little to no evidence of existing is real, but then turn around and scream bloody murder every time Dettles is brought up.
You can not disregard all the evidence for Nettles and Daemon and then turn around and say one line is sufficient for your self-inserting fantasies of Rhaenyra being worshipped. That’s not how this works.
They can drop the concern act. At the end of the day, they could care less about Laena in this equation. They just wanted Laena to cheer on Rhaenyra while she was screwing her husband. They also didn’t want Rhaenyra to come off like a harlot who sleeps with someone’s husband the moment his wife dies (😏). That’s really why they promote that silly little ship
I stand by the statement that how her relationship with Daemon was handled was deplorable. Missing out on the opportunity to see her sitting in a corner while Daemon and Rhaenyra do whatever was hardly what I’d call a tragedy.
#hypocrites#all of them#it’s not adding up#they are really just pissed off that dumbnyra weren’t together those ten years and when they finally were together 🤣#we see how that turned out 🙃#again I wouldn’t say all this if they had behaved but all bets are off#laena velaryon#bnask#bnasks#laena deserved better#dettles#daemon targaryen#nettles
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it's kind of weird to think about dnd modern AUs with the gnomes specifically, because they're all ~young adults, physically and developmentally around my age or a little younger, and in a dnd setting that's the strongest angle I have to work with for roleplaying them, but also if my vague idea of a modern au takes place [handwaves] now, more or less, then felix and mel would have both been kids in the 60s and 70s and have a bunch of cultural life experiences I cannot relate to at all
#'this guy's basically 22 but also very literally old enough to be my dad' feels more real when you slot him into a modern timeline lol#I can't think about it TOO much because the modern au isn't a clearly defined world but more an aesthetic concept to play with casually#and if it's an analogue for modern america the idea of gnomes and elves and magic existing would have Implications#but it IS funny on just that surface casual level; most of my blorbos are around my age so it's easy to imagine their modern au upbringings#ALTHOUGH ACTUALLY I've been playing dnd for so long that I am now TEN. years older than june. she's my baby brother's age! she's a zoomer!!#is that more or less weird than melliwyk being ten years older than my parents 🤔#also I'm now older than all my non-gnome OCs who were older than me to begin with... ahhh#I could still have gone to school with elyss or aubree but only just. we wouldn't have had any classes together#TIME.... is WEIRD......!!#my OCs#melliwyk#felix
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Underrated Sibling Moment is actually mitsu being like ‘i dont want to go back to the captain alone are you insane’ after ichi fumbles the loan collection and ichi has to ditch him for a few hours and mitsu can only kill time and Not think of The Inevitable until they can go back to sawashiro together as if that’ll save them from The Inevitable like if you get it You Get How Real That Was
#snap chats#the best part about getting a new phone. ‘’’new’’’#is that i can make goofy posts ten times faster now that i dont have to wait a year for the app to open#ANYWAY NO YK WHAT I MEAN#LIKE AS IF GOING TO YOUR PARENT TOGETHER WONT JUST GET BOTH YOUR ASSES BEAT#growing up it was the same shit with my sisters and i#if we were out of the house and knew mom was home we’d find any and every excuse to stay out until she was asleep#or she locked herself in her room to do work all night#STOOOPPP I REMEMBER THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVE EVE OF MY LIFE#my dad wanted to get lunch with my sis and i but our mom was home and in the kitchen and yk#we can’t just leave without saying where we’re going ig#bro when i say my sis had a whole breakdown because she did not want to tell our mom#it was painful like TRULY#SAME PLAY OUT TOO NOW THAT I THINK OF IT in the beginning she acted Not Mad#and then very quickly Was Mad and it was just awful all around#made it very gard to enjoy lunch ngl but hey.#after that I Do Not Lie she and i just hung out at the mall for the next eight hours LMAO#but yeah. the accidental story time is integral to understanding this feeling i promise#ITS JUST SO REAL ESP WHEN YOU FUCKED UP AND YOU JUST KNOW YOUR PARENT GONNA FIND OUT LMAO#the most evil shit is when your parent starts getting mad and thrn your siblings clear like roaches#LIKE OH OK. I THOUGHT WE WERE RIDE OR DIEHDVEC#anyway shout out my man mitsu i dont mention you ever but know i see you and ily
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so my polycule/friendgroup is interfaith, and celebrating All The Things All Together would get complicated; we're kind of expected to be with our origin-families on a lot of those days. so for our winter gifting thing, we do new year's eve presents! it's easier to get everyone together bc nobody's out of town or expected anywhere else. we've started calling it Holiday, singular. which i find very funny, it's not shorter than saying new year's, but i like saying "oh what are you getting [someone] for Holiday, because i was thinking about..." it's just silly. anyways i'm very excited for this year bc i love giving gifts and being with my loved ones <333
#we did have a lil chanukkah get together this year which was fun!!!#i made latkes for the first time and they were gooood but took forever to fry the whole batch#(well i've made them from a box mix once like ten years ago but that doesn't count#this time i actually did it for real)#maybe next year we'll have access to a bigger kitchen and i can try making more things#can't wait to have a big decked out kitchen so i can cook for everyone all the time!!!!!!!!!!#when i have a dishwasher? it is OVERRRRRR
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why r u so mad about ppl preferring ten x madame de pompadour to ten x martha like ten/martha will never be a thing. ten don’t want anything to do with martha. he literally said to her face she wouldn’t replace rose… and she never did… isnt canon enough for you
hm.
im glad im only a scorpio on this alone. if martha deserved better than ten then so do all of em but anyway:
this ask is giving 2006/07 i dont want to see tenth doctor in a romantic relationship with a person of color because i can't project myself or relate to them if they arent the very thing being catered to me ever since the silent pictures vibes. u know the same vibe when rtd was told to not regenerate 14 in 13's clothes. just. Ick.
but im not mad. its just interesting for a ship so big as tenrose, it is usually correlated with hating madame de pompadour and/or joan and/or river [though in joan's case they hate her not because shes racist but because shes not rose]
though comics tend to release to combat that in multi doctor stories where they jump through various alternate universes of themselves where the doctor sees themselves settled down with dr. grace holloway (for 8th dr multi doctor stories) and professor melody williams/river song (for 11th dr multi doctor stories) where in those cases, they are frightful of the concept settling down at all. [take note that both times, he settles down in the same house that he owns bc of that unit paycheck on the dl] so i am curious that with this new drs, the equivalent of this would be 13 14 15 being terrified of settling down with rose because they had grown past her as this point.
i prefer the doctor in a polyromantic ace relationship than their umpteenth 🌟tragic heteronormative romance with yt human woman number 23445788764443356743🌟 i want 14 to sweep martha off her feet in pure joy and kiss her passionately while badmouthing tf out of 10 like 9 11 12 13 do with no filter before cradling her like a baby because hes about to crumble under his brand new identity complex and then take her kid to an amusement park and then 14 trips over a brick and dies. hell i rather have nina sosanya play a whole different lady in nod to doctor who recycles their actors trope as a way to introduce a love interest to 14
that amusment park one weirdly sounds like a 8th doctor audio. pls 🙏🏾 dont make it into one i couldnt handle schezro let alone the rest of his content. Empire of the Wolf made me so fucking worried for rose marion tyler like im just she back home 🫣. as for rose tyler from the sea devil universe still out about. whoop his ass. if billie come back as HER? MISS COVER MODEL MISS DICTATOR MISS EMPRESS ROSE?
NOT
i would love for ten to be strictly friends with the new miss empress rose. get that martha karma real quick ehehehehe after all rtd did say they need freema for somethin and im sure seeing 10 get treated the same way he treated martha by no other than empress rose herself -AND THEN EMPRESS ROSE FLIRTS WITH MARTHA??? FINGERS CROSSED??? im just saying that i personally will ride on that for 8 black history months and christmases straight like woo
also real glad it is collectively decided by every one that tentoo is just john smith not corin so yay thanks big finish and titan comics
#{lets see if i can scare this anon away listen i even made a graphic for this damn it. u better appreciate it i went all out for you}#{porn blogs and micro antiblack anons: this is why i dont share my shipping opinions much bc they stick to tv and i stick to everything}#{usually all this i gave to my aunt and we would have phone discussions and she would watch and call be like hey yeah! i see it}#{and she would say: but really it wasnt that for martha. it was the writing choices that was disapproved because not wanting another 💞}#{it went from classism for rose to racism for martha and she points that it wasnt catered to black fans in the rtd era}#{so yeah ten x martha wouldn't be a thing but only because test audiences and fans refused it due to the studios racial bias}#{10 wanted everything to do w martha. he just used rose as excuse and because of that 12 and 13 vocally to his face hates him for it}#{and we all fell for it: everybody did because like 12 said: its the bambi eyes. hook line and sucker}#{he wanted martha the whole time but he kept playing that hot n cold game to the wrong girl just bc it worked on 2 later 3 yt blonde women}#{4 yt women because of miss kylie minogue! all of a sudden he dont know how to counterflirt when a blk woman flirts back?}#{yes thats right im throwing miss claire pope AND IN THE GABBY GONZALES COMIC OF THE PPL OUTSIDE HER FAMILY LAUNDROMAT??}#{but yeah after losing donna suddenly supiciously hes not racist but extremely genocidal to death and death alone like hm.}#{his actions speak extremely louder than his words and in turn so does the fandom and its writers}#{4 yt blondes and hes willing to believe in them despite him having to permanently lose them but completely have lil faith in the blk one?}#{ ten never actually go back to martha. be fair if i forgave the person that enslave her family for a missing year? yeah i wouldnt either}#{we could never be together because of a yt woman i chose to leave behind three times with her mum for 'safety' boy bye}#{and i go around and almost in one whole episode almost left her behind AGAIN for madame de pompadour another blonde yt woman?}#{like i ship them i ship all of em but if they were all hanging off a cliff side? 🤧 😔 we gather here today in the loss of 🌹 and depomp}#{dont worry at least 9 would leap after rose.}#bw: out of ethos#answered#anonymous#bw: long post#{i made a long post just so i surprise you with a cute billie graphic thats all. that the main topic}
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Just saw a video where someone mentioned reading the curious incident of the dog in the night time, and they thought afterwards they may have autism too. When they brought it up to their mum, she was like "you knew??" cause apparently she'd done that thing people seem to do where they keep an autism diagnosis secret from their kids
It made me remember when my grandma gave me that book to read when we were all at her place for Christmas. She said something like "I think you'll really like it", which confused me cause I was more into fantasy stuff than mystery novels. I mean. I did really like it. But it's one of the things that makes me wonder... did my parents do that thing too...?
#i want to ask but i dont know how and im too scared#i tried looking through my medixal records but myhealthrecord only goes back to like 2020#my gp who i have seen my whole life said shes unaware of anything like that happening#when i told my aunt i thought i had it she was like 'doesnt that have something to do with your eye condition' like. it wasnt a surprise#the other day i got really focused on trying to figure out when freight trains come through the train station near our house during dinner#i was doing it for like fivr ten minutes while we were talking about other stuff and then i said yes the freight trains do tend to come at#night because theyre not allowed on the tracks in peak hours. and yes i have been researching that this whole time#and he goes 'its my autism and i get to choose the special interest' or. hyperfixation or something#i asked him why he said that (does he know?) and he said it was just a joke because of the 'thing about autistic people liking trains'#but... does he know...#do they know...#i couldn't eat the food at my aunts wedding and i was expecting him to make some snarky comment#but instead he just helped me.explain my texture issues to our aunts friend. which i did not expect at all#one day. idk why. but my stepmum told me her oldest son had been diagnosed when he was a kid and she didnt tell him. even when he came to#her. upset. asking why he was so different from everyone else. id known her son since primary school long before our parents got together#i had no idea what to say man i dont know why she told me that#like. is it some big open secret that everyone but me knew until last year?#im starting to wonder if some of the help i got in high school wasnt just due to my vision. especially if my mum is to be believed about#them wanting to put me in the special ed class. seems a bit much for someone with vision problems right...? always thought that was odd#but. its my mum. and the story was about her fighting the school on that so. idk if i can believe her.#ignore me#its late and that video just made me think about all this again#idk. maybe things would have been better if id known. much like thr adhd but definitely no one knew about that
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vent in tags don't mind me
#skye talks#vent#it's been a long time since i had a panic attack in the grocery store but here we are#maybe it has something to do with spending my last money on food and gas#new job tomorrow just gotta make it through#all my days are full of tasks now and i have no choice really i gotta do things i gotta maintain and yet im so tired my whole body aches#i want to sleep for twenty years and i haven't even started yet#actually i want to sob and someone to run their hands through my hair#i got home and nearly fell asleep sitting in my car and my muscles keep twitching like they'll cramp#and my feet feel like they're going to split in half#and all the lights in my space were different from how i left them and blinds were open that I didn't and somebody turned my fan off#and like wow i really can't leave my room for even a day without everything being different#and they'll just yell at me and yell me I'm being so disagreeable and difficult if i beg them once sgain to please respect my space#I'm 30 amd saving to move out but they open the door on me unannounced like I'm a child#and i nearly started sobbing in the kitchen as i tried to pack up some chopped onions in the freezer and I coulnt even do that#i begged four separate times in like ten minutes to please let me do this stop goving me other bags stop questioning what I'm putting where#i just couldn't talk i could barely hold myself together#everything in my body hurt and my chest feels like it's being stabbed and my brain is screaming at me and i just#i just needed to put the onions in the freezer and be allowed to be nonverbal and it was too much and it took everything i had#all of it to just beg and say please don't talk to me I'm so tired i just need to do this#and i got literally shrieked at the fourth time i said it#i just#i don't#oh my god i'm gonna lay here for hours and maybe cry again#AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BIGGEST THING ON MY MIND IT WAS JUST THE PANIC AFTERMATH#somebody sedate me or something why is it all so hard#I'll deal with it but holy fucking shit
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