#ten years of this game istg

[willkimurashat]

The way I just know Bobby fucking McKenzie dressed up as Spider Punk for Halloween this year

[hijinxinprogress]

The JL finds out Captain Marvels identity and regrets it immensely

JL find out Captain Marvels a child and they start trying to parent him and just being awkward so it’s decided that Captain Marvel will join YJ (Clark started referring to Billy only as ‘son’ and ‘young man’ one time Billy saw an airplane and Clark leaned down and went “That there, son, is called an airplane and it-” “I’ll fucking stab you istg”)

To the public Captain Marvel is just extra supervision for YJ but the hero community knows it’s a way to discretely move Captain Marvel onto a team with people his age and be ‘safer’

But it doesn’t work out the way they want bc Billy’s a chaos gremlin much like YJ so they’re just doing dumb shit in the public eye bc they technically have ‘adult supervision’ (it takes Billy fifteen minutes to convince yj to go against being supervised by green lanterns)

“We’re literally your coworkers??” “I’ve literally never seen you before besides isn’t it illegal for cops to question a minor without their guardian present? 🤨” “Technically, he’s not their coworker bc he’s not in the jl anymore” “Kon” “What? I’m just saying!” “Stfu wait does Marvel even have a guardian??” “He doesn’t”

Anita and Billy are trading magic tips and teaching each other spells they should NOT have access to esp bc they’ve blown up thirteen city blocks and 1/4 of almost every planet they’ve visited with YJ

Cassie and Billy play high stakes games of catch above the earths atmosphere with missiles and shit in their free time and also during missions

Kon and Billy do just plain dumb shit they have no business doing and then playing up the ‘I’m just a baby…and I’m not even really human/I didn’t have a childhood so how would I know that I shouldn’t do that?’ excuse after bankrupting Luthor for the third time this month along with demolishing all of his newly renovated buildings (Which he and Greta repurposed to create low income housing and food pantries)

Cissie invites Marvel to all her Olympic events and he shows up to every single one with an obnoxiously large magical banner

Bart and Billy plan quips, one liners, and trash talk together and everyone hates it bc they only use the good ones on them but villains (along with everyone in their immediate vicinity) are subjected exclusively to shit like “nuh uh” and “make me”

Greta and Billy are taking down shady government operations with zero fucks to give (they had houses built for the people affected but they did also send a very long list of people to the hospital/morgue)

Billy makes Tim a magic skateboard that flies at like Mach 1 with so many magic cameras it’s concerning bc he thinks Tim being unhinged is funny especially it inconveniences or at least stresses out batman

But they’re mostly talking about what lies they’ve told the jl recently so they can plan their lies around each other “I lied to batman yesterday so you gotta back me up” and Tim’s fabricating evidence despite having no other information bc Billy will 100% “Aren’t you a so called ‘ethical’ billionaire? Nonono it’s whatever, I just thought you’d want to look out for the people but-”

And JL tries to lecture Billy about it ‘you should be more mature. I expected better’ and he’s just like ‘why?? I’m baby 🥺 I don’t know any better’ 

And Green Arrow’s so goddamn confused bc ‘Bro?? I’ve watched you do negotiations when Superman’s not available…’ ‘I’m just a little guy’ ‘I’VE WATCHED YOU STOP A WHOLE ASS INVASION IN TEN MINUTES’ ‘little baby man’ ‘But you’re one of the strongest members of the league???’ ‘You do know I couldn’t tie my own shoes like six years ago, right?’ ‘HOW OLD ARE YOU’ ‘Wouldn’t you like to know’

YJ and Billy just do a bunch of petty shit until JL has had enough and they’re like fine whatever it wasn’t a problem before

[pekoehoneyncream]

Sergeant Kyle Gaz Garrick Headcanons

Part One

Words: 600~

TW: None (sfw)

Part Two

Y'all are powered by spite alone, istg. Gaz won the poll by one vote, ONE! I had soap's shit lined up and ready to go and y'all really said 'nah, no thank you'

Here's your prize,

Hope You Enjoy!

Gaz is slow to trust. He does not like strangers, and often feels on edge around new people. He isn't outright rude, in fact he's often downright friendly. He knows better than to alienate unknowns and make unneeded enemies for his team by acting hostile.

Ghost often validates Gaz's suspicious nature by asking him for breakdowns of potential weaknesses and if someone's likely to become a problem or a liability. 

Gaz shows a lot of love through acts of service, if there's anything that the 141 needs or needs done he'll make sure it happens, often before they even realise it's going to become a problem.

Gaz has a habit of referring to other people as NPCs. Particularly groups of people that ostensibly have a use, but only ostensibly.

Gaz cusses A Lot. He uses swearing, snark, and sarcasm as coping mechanisms, particularly in stressful situations. He doesn’t like directing his vitriol at his teammates, but situations, enemies, unknowns, strangers, acquaintances, and friends are all free game.

Cannot stand ticking or tapping noises, especially when he can't find where the sound is coming from. Rattling vents and unbalanced ticking ceiling fans are the banes of his existence. | At first he tried to be casual when he brought stuff up to Price, “So, have you noticed that the third light in the breakroom buzzes and flickers a bit when it's on?”, but now he just straight up tells Price what bothers him. (Price tells maintenance, but if they're being too slow Price has been known to just fix it himself.) | Soap, with his pathological need to bounce his legs, is on thin fucking ice. Gaz can usually ignore it if Soap keeps a consistent rhythm, but when Soap's fidgety he starts to drive Gaz up the wall.

Not great at sharing. Leaving the last piece of something, in case someone else might want it, is not something that would ever cross his mind. If someone doesn't directly ask for something, he's assuming they're not interested.

He's cannot do constructive criticism. He's got the criticism part down pat, but rarely cares enough to struggle with making it constructive. He embodies that video: Be Nice. ‘I'm finding it.’ It takes you that long? ‘It does, It does.’

He's an only child. His mom, Gemma, is a Biomedical Equipment Technician, and his dad, Arthur, is a Semi-Retired English Professor. He was mostly raised by his dad, as his mom's job kept her out of the house most days. His dad actually became Semi-Retired to be a Stay-At-Home-Dad and raise Gaz. Arthur Garrick has published a few textbooks and still goes in for the occasional guest lecture.

Gaz's bedtime stories were books like Le Morte de Artur, the Iliad, Lord of the Rings, the Robert Frost Compendium, and Narnia.  

When Gaz was learning to write his dad taught him cursive, leaning towards calligraphy. To this day Gaz's printing looks like a ten year-old's. Meanwhile, his writing is very pretty to look at, but nearly illegible. His signature is completely unreadable, it's just a very elaborate pile of loops and slashes.

Occasionally forgets the words for things. His brain does this thing that he likes to call Playing Wheel of Fortune, where it will let him remember the meaning of the word, and sometimes what the word rhymes with, or its first letter. | These moments all go something like this: “You can’t pin that on me! You've only got… fuck what’s the word, where its a person in a place and they're getting blamed for something. It’s like a lawyery thing.” A court? “No no, it's like they got caught, but they were in the wrong place and it’s only if you put it together a certain way it looks bad. Like a bad impression, but serious. It’s a long word. I think it starts with S… Circumference? No. Situation? Something like that.” Circumstantial? “Yes! Circumstantial! Circumstantial Evidence!” I saw you eating my crisps, that's not circumstantial evidence.

Thank You for Reading!

PekoeHoneynCream's Headcanons

[phoxey]

The White Raven (Bada Lee Gang AU)

Gang!Bada Lee x fem!reader

CW: Gang activities. lil bit of angst, a hetero kiss (ew)

AN: this got a bit long, but istg i never wrote a chapter this fast, i kinda love this chapter and im so proud, hope u will enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 – You owe me double, Bada Lee.

“You are saving my day again.”, Bada grinned.

You winked. “I like being your hero, Bada.”

A week later you were in your room, standing in front of your mirror. Surprisingly you still fit into your black satin dress, that your mom had bought you after you left the courthouse on the last day of the trial, when you were cleared of all charges.

It was the party dress that you had always worn when you were going clubbing a few years ago. Back when you first met Shin Seonwoo.

You heard the doorbell ring and your mom open the door. A few minutes later Bada knocked on your door and opened the door to your room. Immediately she froze.

“Too much? Be honest…”, you said and spun around for her to look at your outfit.

You were sure you heard her mumble a curse word under her breath then.

“You look… Appropriate for a club.”, she said and pressed her lips together.

“You gotta learn how to compliment a lady, Bada.”, you chuckled and stepped closer to her, tidying up the blazer that she was wearing.

Suddenly your door opened again and your brother stood in the frame. He was only sixteen but as tall as Bada, and he tried to seem even taller and broader than he actually was, which made you giggle. He had an almost angry facial expression, as he approached Bada and got up into her face.

“You better treat my sister right, or else.”, he said, trying to sound intimidating.

Bada smirked. “Or else what, little boy?”

You broke out in laughter, as your brother became smaller and smaller under Bada’s stare.

“Don’t worry, we are just friends and going clubbing.”, you said and wrapped your arm around Bada.

Your brother nodded. “Please be safe, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, you little idiot. You go study now please.”, you said and ruffled his hair before kissing his forehead.

“Your brother is cute.”, Bada chuckled.

“Ask him out then.”, you pouted.

She shook her head. “His older sister is cuter.”

You blushed a little, as you two walked out the apartment and to Bada’s car. Gentlemanly, she opened the door for you to get in.

“Your family is nice.”, Bada smiled fondly.

“Yeah. I love my mom and my brother.”

“They love you too, I can tell.”

You watched her. Some would see her as relaxed, since Bada was just driving with one hand. The other one was resting on her thigh, but you could see nervous fingers tapping. So, you took it gently.

“Bada.”

“Hm?”

“Relax.”

Before you could ask, why she was nervous, she pulled over and looked at you.

“So here is the plan. Or rather the part of the plan that concerns you. You go inside and talk to Seonwoo. Distract him. He usually goes to check his office, every 30 minutes. Make him forget about it. Buy us time. We will be as fast as possible. I will text you when we are done, you find some excuse to leave and you meet me here again, I will be waiting.”

You nodded slowly. “Okay. I will do my best.”

Bada smiled at you. “I know you will, my little hero.”

You winked at her before getting out. She drove away as you walked into the club. The music was loud and heavy, the people sweaty and you could smell the sheer amount of alcohol that was being consumed by the guests.

You looked around and put on your red lipstick. Game time.

Finding Shin Seonwoo wasn’t hard. He was lounging in the VIP area with three other women and a few of his bodyguards. You know what you had to do. You positioned yourself strategically on the dancefloor, so he could see you but it wasn’t obviously intentional.

It worked smoothly. After ten minutes of dancing, you could feel his eyes on you, and after another ten you saw him talk to one of his girls. She stood up and with the brightest fake smile she came over to you. She had black hair and a black lipstick, her curves were hugged by an expensive black dress. You briefly thought that she must be a famous actress. That’s how attractive that woman was.

“Hi, darling.”, she said into your ear, wrapping her arms around your neck. “Alone today?”

You smirked. “Sadly. I just wanted to have some fun.”

She bit her lip. “I can take you to meet someone fun.”

“I would love that.”

She took your hand and walked with you over to the VIP. Shin Seonwoo was manspreading on his couch, two girls on either side. He smelled like cigars and leather. He was terribly thin and grey. Looking almost like a mouse in a very ugly purple suit. A gold tooth shimmered when he smiled.

“You caught my eye, beautiful.”, he grinned.

“You seem to have a good taste.”, you said, giving him a sly smirk, while nodding to the other women next to him.

“Oh, I like you already.”, he said and licked his dry lips.

He made one of the girls move so you could sit next to him. You sweettalked him here and there, but mostly he was talking about himself and his (limited) success in life. At some point his arm wrapped around you, his fingers digging into your waist. A shiver of disgust went down your spine and you felt the need to immediately shower, as he started caressing you.

When he talked to the other girl briefly, your phone buzzed and you quickly checked it.

Bada: [Keep him busy some more, we ran into some… impediment…]

You sighed at that.

You: [When you are done just call me and pretend to be my boyfriend.]

Despite being disgusted you leaned into Seonwoo’s embrace. Your eyes kept going back and forth between his boney face and the clock that hang on the wall. The time was passing in an unforgiving pace. You could feel him getting nervous. His answers getting shorter. He wanted to stand up a few times, but you lulled him into another talk over and over.

“I know you probably have a crush on me but I really need to go do my job for a moment.”, he said, mildly pissed.

You panicked internally. “I want to kiss you, babe.”, you pouted.

The women looked shocked at you. None of them would voluntarily kiss Shin Seonwoo, the human form of a sewer rat. They were just with him for the chance to socially climb within the underground world of Seoul, trying to impress Shin Seonwoo’s high-ranking guests, not Shin Seonwoo himself.

Slowly Shin Seonwoo sank back into the couch, not taking his eyes off you. You gulped hard but hoped that he didn’t notice. You begged Bada would call you now, so you wouldn’t have to go through with what you said. But your phone was still and thus Seonwoo’s crusty lips were on yours.

He was a terrible kisser. It seemed more like he wanted to eat your face, not really kiss you. But you played along. With hands on his cheeks, you tried to guide him and slow him down, but he only took it as an invite to touch you was well, so he grasped your hips and pulled you close.

Just when he was about to slip his tongue into your mouth, your phone finally rang. Panting you pulled away and grabbed your phone. Finally. Bada.

You smiled apologetically at Seonwoo and picked it up.

“Yes babe?”, You said sweetly into your phone.

Bada tried to make her voice sound as deep and manly as possible. “Where are you?”

“Babyyyyy…”, you pouted. “I’m at the club, I wanted some fun…”

“Fun? What do you mean fun?”, Bada asked.

“You know… dancing… meeting new people…”

Seonwoo grinned at that.

“You come home immediately!”

“Home why?”, you whined and gave Seonwoo doe eyes.

“Now.”

“Okay, baby…”, you said and put your phone away.

You went over and fixed Seonwoo’s tie. “I’m sorry, my boyfriend tends to ruin my fun.”

“Come back anytime. You are a VIP from now on in all my clubs.”

As you left you waved to the other women, but you noticed how the woman from earlier did not wave back, but rather narrowed her eyes at you.

You didn’t waste another thought and stormed out of the club, immediately jumping into Bada’s car that waited in front of the entrance.

“Took you long enough. What happened?”, you asked as you fastened your seatbelt. But Bada didn’t answer so you turned to look at her.

With wide eyes she stared at you.

“What?”, you asked confused.

“What happened to your lipstick?”, she asked, demanding.

You were confused and looked into the mirror on your side of the car. The red lipstick was smudged everywhere but your lips.

“I had to distract him.”, you said simply.

“By kissing him?”, she asked, almost two octaves higher.

“You took very long, that’s the only way a virgin like him would let me distract him.”

“Still! You can’t just kiss anyone!”

“I did as I seemed fit. I don’t understand why you are angry! Be grateful, it wasn’t like I enjoyed it!”, you argued back.

Bada huffed, she wanted to shoot back but something in the mirror caught her attention. A Subaru was coming closer… fast.

“Fuck…”, she breathed out, she seemed to know the car. Immediately she stomped her foot onto the gas pedal, ignoring all speed limits and red lights.

“Who’s car is it?”, you asked terrified.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know.”, she said, pressing her lips together.

“Bada! Answer!”

“My ex girlfriend… who also happens to be Seonwoo’s sister…”, Bada admitted.

“Is this a fucking Drama?”, you groaned. “You promised this whole thing was safe for me!”

Bada concentrated on the street, she tried to drive through narrow alleys, in hopes of losing her., but the other car was getting only closer, easily following Bada. Then suddenly Bada had to put her foot on the brake harshly and the car came to a halt Infront of a brick wall.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…”, she repeated and boxed her steering wheel. Then she saw that the Subaru parked behind her. She opened the glove department in front of you and took out a gun, pressing it into your hands. “Stay in the car.”

She opened the door on her side and got out.

The people in the other car got out as well. It was the woman in the black dress again, behind her a girl that was masked up, who seemed to be her shadow. The woman who drove the car, stayed put inside the car, probably in case that a swift escape was needed.

“Soojin…”, Bada smiled. “Long time no see. You look great.”

“Bada Lee. Let’s skip the pleasantries. This is business, not a Sunday brunch. Let’s not get personal.”, she said coldly.

“I don’t know what you mean.”, Bada tried.

“Maybe your new little fling knows what I mean. Never seen someone to make out with my pathetic brother so passionately.”, Soojin said, and your eyes briefly met. “Janice.”

Janice, the masked girl behind Soojin, raised her gun, pointing at Bada, who was already doing the same.

“You stole from my brother, Bada.”

“Technically, I didn’t. He had bills to pay, and I just helped with the process.”, Bada said calmly, gripping her gun tighter.

“Bada, it’s three against one… and a half.”, she chuckled with a quick nod to you. “This is not the time to get cocky.”

“Actually, it’s three against seven.”, a voice said.

Out of a narrow alley way, the rest of the Bebe members walked out, each and every one had their gun cocked and ready. Lusher grinned at Soojin. “Seven and a half, if you will.”, she mused.

“Boss? Maybe there will be a better opportunity…”, the driving girl said to Soojin.

She slowly nodded and gave Janice a look, who immediately lowered her gun. Yet the Bebe girls didn’t.

“This isn’t over Bada Lee. Be careful from now on.”, Soojin warned, then she got into the car. “Let’s leave, Kyeonseo.”

Kyeonseo nodded and drifted on the spot to turn around and drive away again.

You let out the breath you were holding and carefully laid the gun that Bada gave you back into the glove department, before getting out of the car. The tension made you wobbly on your knees but Lusher was next to you and caught you. “Careful.”

But you continued to walk over to Bada, fuming. You glared at her, angrily.

“You owe me double, Bada Lee.”

Chapter 6

[rokurookajima]

1, 12, and 13 for the fanfic ask game!!

i fear all my answers are going to be incredibly predictable 🙈 but still thank you !

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

honestly this was a huuuge year for fanfic for me, i haven’t written this much ff in YEARS (lowkey maybe ever, considering i’ve actually finished 2 fics, have been continuously writing the longest multi chapter i ever have, and made good progress on a few other ideas) so this has been wild. i am also really truly happy with everything i have written this year which is a great feeling

but ofc … my favorite is claw machine :’) when i decided to jump back in to literally 3 paragraphs of an idea i’d started TEN YEARS ago for lolz during waava week, i was REALLY not expecting where it went. i wrote the first few chapters in one week which is .. the most i’ve ever written in such a small span of time in my life lmao.

but i am fr soooo happy with how that’s shaped up (and also with what is to come of the remaining 3 chapters 🥺). it’s what i always wanted to write for metalbanders to give the au a way fuller structure and narrative plot, and didn’t have the skills for yet back in 2013-2014. the general premise of raava leaving school to visit college for a month and wan having to face the reality of life without her was the original idea started back then, but i love how i was able to write that while also weaving in all the flashbacks and scenarios that got them to the present ?? that’s a lot of words just to say that claw machine is my baby and i’m rather proud of it :’)))

12. favorite character to write about this year

hehe welllll also very obvious answer. i’ve only written about 2 characters for real and it’s wan and raava so it is.. them. i love them so much i can’t be normal about either of them!! and them together just hits every trope and note i want in a ship to make me crawl up and down the walls and bang my head on the ceiling.

i also love that writing them in canon (which i really rarely attempted before now, but feel like i’ve rlly found a feel for that too) and writing them in metalbanders are still very much the same two characters but so different at the same time? so i’ve had a lot of fun developing their au personalities alongside writing canon, how writing them clearly younger in metalband differs from canon, how different those two universes make their relationship but it’s also still THEM ITS STILL THE SAME

13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

the i saw the tv glow soundtrack!!! which also just ended up as my album of the year & my top song was claw machine by sloppy jane from it (gee i wonder where that fic title came from…)

it’s rlly crazy bc that movie just… meant a lot to me on first watch, but it’s also somehow directly how i ended up back in this brainrot ?? the soundtrack reminded me of songs i would’ve put on the original 2013 metalbanders playlist, and i was like holy shit wait a minute… then texted nye in a blind panic “waava i saw the tv glow au” and then?? i was off to the races (also still stand behind that is a GREAT idea maybe one day….)

i am also a huge playlist person, so truly it’s my general waava playlist i’ve been collecting since beginnings aired, and then i made a claw machine specific playlist that is … mostly the istg soundtrack anyway

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

Once again, I’m typing this out just minutes after seeing the new pages. Because I saw this singular sliver of pink on Sonic’s chest behind the text bubble and now I’m going g full Game Theory Mode.

(Don’t know how messy this is gonna be so bear with me please)

ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR HOPE 2024 IS GOING WELL FOR YOU SO FAR!!!!

So! It’s uh… It’s been a while since Sonic last slept. I think the last time we saw him get any proper rest was before him and Shadow left for Holoska. We don’t know exactly how much time had past for them when they were in the cavern, but we can safely assume it was more than just 2 or 3 hours. They were most likely there for nearly ten, given the villager’s reaction to them returning. And then they immediately had to go fight Omega, or at least Sonic did, and that was a whole battle full of adrenaline and anger fueled by the previous fight between Sonic and Shadow. So by this point, I’m not surprised to see Sonic knocked out cold.

What I am shocked to see however, is that little teeny-tiny sliver of pink that I mentioned on Sonic’s chest… What’s even more intriguing is the fact that Sonic’s entire face is obscured by either the panel borders, or the text bubbles. This obviously and unfortunately means that Dark Gaia’s influence on Sonic is getting stronger and stronger by the day, and the hedgehog’s recent fights have had a huge impact. This also means Sonic can’t hide from his friends anymore, and he’ll likely be avoidant towards them altogether if he can.

Obviously though, this will only make things worse for him and Shadow since Sonic’s negative emotions are what is making the influence stronger. In this sense, Sonic is making himself dangerous, he’s turning himself into a weapon. This is actually making me think: What if Omega being influenced by Dark Gaia was just a test? Just a warning by Dark Gaia that showed Sonic what would happen if he fell too deep, if he succumbed too much. Omega lost his autonomy to the God of Sadness himself, so why can’t Sonic…?

ALSO OMEGA ISN’T DEAD YET LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEEEEEAHHAHHAHAHHHHH THIS IS WORTH CELEBRATING I THINK 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Oki ignoring that terrible yet seamless transition, let’s talk about Team Dark because they deserve some love right now in these trying times. (Istg you and 2 whole other people are keeping the Team Dark fans afloat) First up, Shadow because he’s been in more panels than I can count lmao

Shadow, as someone who can relate to Sonic to some extent, feels this giant weight whenever something bad happens to him. He feels all the pressure build up into one giant boulder that he’s struggling to carry, and if he doesn’t get help soon, that boulder will crush him. Of course, the Ultimate Lifeform doesn’t care about that, doesn’t care about anything but Sonic right now, because he’s going through something similar and it’s just too much for Shadow to see a reflection of himself in the very person he sought to destroy just a couple years prior-

But then the weight gets lifted. Just a little bit, just so much to make it only a little lighter. But it’s lifted regardless, and when Shadow turns he sees Rouge. The brains of the group. The one who brought Team Dark together in the first place. The one who only knew a fraction about Shadow’s past and yet stuck by his side anyway.

The only one who hasn’t been directly affected by Dark Gaia until now. (Except for Tails and Knuckles but we don’t care about them right now)

Sonic is not gonna be the same when he wakes up. He’s gonna look and feel completely different and he’s gonna be so confused and hurt and scared. But Shadow and Rouge and all his other friends are gonna be there for him when he needs them most, and that will be enough.

I wish I could say more on these pages because OMG THREE PAGES IN ONE UPDATE HUH EMERALD ARE YOU TRYING TO SPOIL US ARE YOU TRYING TO BUTTER UP TO US BECAUSE IT IS FRIGGIN WORKING. But with the new year comes a bunch of other thoughts that cloud your brain and there’s suddenly no more room for the really important things. Like anthropomorphic little animals that turn into bigger furries somehow and then harness the power of life itself to defeat villainy and then eat chili dogs for their every meal. Totally important, 100%.

Hope 2024 treats you well, and I personally cannot wAIT TO SEE SONIC IN HIS NEW GAIA FORM OMG OMG HE GONNA LOOK SO SPOOPY AND AWESOME AND HE’S GONNA BE SO INSECURE OOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM SO EXITED

YEEHAW wait until u see the other 3 new pages lol

[warringwarrioridiot]

"They was asking for it"

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR?? A BIG FAT BASEBALL BAT TO THE BACK OF THE SKULL AT FULL SPEED MAX ISTG

Mfs like this need to take a long walk off of a short cliff cus if I EVER catch them I'm gonna commit some good old fashion homicide.

If you say things like "You should've enjoyed it" or "at least you got some" I'm tracking your IP and shoving ten cacti in your anal hole and/or vagina.

"game is game 🤪"

You need to shut your ketchup stain, Junkrat main, micro brain, aluminium chain, ankle sprain, CHOCOLATE RAIIIIN, with your runny nose dirty toes lick hobos cOwAbUnGa BrOs, Dude, I want you to look at your entire life. All your life choices. And tell me when you had an original idea in your brain. Your ass got kicked out and disowned and you started aggressively tapping the home button on your IPhone "Oh, help. Why is it not working?". YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS LIKE A NARUTO FILLER EPISODE, MY BOY! YOUR PRANKS ARE AS REPETITIVE AS THE AD "Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper" YOUR BRAIN IS JUST AS REAL AS THE LOVE YOUR PARENTS HAVE FOR YOU! YOUR GRANDMA GAVE BLING BLING BOY A LAP DANCE FOR PAY DAY. Wait hold on! *Punch punch punch* GIVE ME THE MONEY YOUR GRANDMA! I JUST ROBBED YOUR GRANDMA! I JUST HIT A LICK ON YOUR GRANDMA, HOW DOES THAT FEEL?! SHE POOR AS HELL NOW! YOU PUT A BALLOON ON YOUR HEAD AND THOUGHT IT WAS A DURAG! YOU LIKE RONALD MCDONALD FROM OHIO! "HEYA KID! YOU WANT A BIG MAC?!" WHEN YOU WALK DOWNSTAIRS YOUR WHOLE HOUSE STARTS RUMBLING! YOU BRING THE POWER OF EREN YEAGER AND 37 COLOSSAL TITANS DOWN YOUR STAIRCASE! AFTER YOU EAT DINNER YOU EAT THE PLATE AND THEN YOU EAT THE TABLE AS WELL! CHOMP CHOMP! YOU RENT OUT THE GAP BETWEEN YOU TEETH AS A PARKING SPACE FOR ANTS! YOU LOOK EMO ASF "CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES! THIS IS MY LAST RESORT! SUFFOCATION! NO BREATHING!" LOOK AT YOUR NOSE YOU HAVE TWO MARIO PIPES COMING OUT OF YOUR HEAD! YAHOO! LET'S A GO! THEY MADE A SEQUEL TO FINDING NEMO BASED OFF YOUR ASS CALLED "LOCATING CHROMOSOMES! IN THEATRES THIS JULY!" YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A RAT LIVING UNDER YOUR BED IN A PRINGLES CAN! YOU POSTED AN INSTAGRAM STORY ABOUT A JAMAICAN CRICKET GIVING YOU A LAP DANCE IN THE BACK OF TOYS R US! YOU TORTURED AN ANT BY TYING HIM TO YOUR BUTTHOLE AND FARTING ON HIM! I HAVE MORE ROASTS YOU KNOW! YOUR GRANDMA IS A DARK SOULS BOSS CALLED "THE WRINKLE!

EW NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THERE IS NO WAY! THAT THIS... OLD ASS FART WRINKLE IS TALKING TO ME IN SUCH A DISRESPECTFUL MANNER. YOU KNOW IT'S ACTUALLY KINDA SAD YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE A GRANDPA NOW BUT INSTEAD OF ADVANCING YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHAIN YOU'VE INSTEAD SPENT YOUR DAYS ALONE IN YOUR ROOM READING HITLER MANIFESTOS AND COSPLAYING AS A FUCKIN' NEO NAZI. SO MANY YEARS AND SUCH LITTLE ADVANCEMENT. No seriously! Seriously I find it amusing THAT YOUR PENCIL PENIS DONKEY KONG BARREL BUILT LOOKIN' ASS WOULD ASSUME THAT I EVEN REMOTELY CARE ABOUT A SINGLE ONE. NO NO NO FUCK THAT. A SINGLE SYLLABLE OF THE VERBAL DIARRHEA GARGLE THAT'S COMING OUT OF THE DUSTY SARLAC PIT YOU CONSIDER TO BE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU MY FACE?? YOU WANNA SEE MY FUCKIN' FACE??? BITCH SHOW ME YOUR FUCKIN' HAIRLINE CAUSE I KNOW THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE SPEAKING TO ME RIGHT NOW DRESSED UP AS A GOD DAMN DIABOLICAL BOY SCOUT. NAH LOOK AT THEM TEETH. BOY YOUR TEETH IN CREATIVE MODE. HELL NAH BOY STOP PLAYING YOU TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT. BRO THEY GOT FOSSIL RECORDS FOR EACH ONE OF YOUR FAT ROLLS. NAH STOP PLAYING WITH ME BOY I CAN'T TAKE YO ASS SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DRESS UP LIKE A GODDAMN MEDIEVAL TERRORIST. BRO IS ABOUT TO SHOOT UP HIS OLD FOLKS HOME WITH A CROSSBOW AND A FUCKING TREBUCHET. YA YEET DOM DOM DOM DOM DOM DOM! SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP. WHAT THE FUCK? A HE AHHH EEEEE SHUT UP BITCH. YOU WANT ME TO TURN ON MY CAMERA? YO DICK BUILT LIKE A INVERTED BANANA. YO FOREHEAD CRACKED UP LIKE THE AFRICAN SAVANNAH. I CAUGHT YOU AND YO SISTER BUTT NAKED LAST NIGHT. SWEET HOME ALABAMA. FUCK YOU THINK THIS IS? WHAT IS YOU WEARING WITH YO GODDAMN HONEY WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT? NAH BOY LOOK AT YO ROOM, YO HOUSE DIRTY AS HELL. YOU GOT FOUR SEWER RATS IN YO BATH TUB RIGHT NOW FLOATING ON TOP OF A PIZZA BOX SINGING. "YO HO THIEVES AND BEGGARS". LIKE SHIT, BOY I CAUGHT YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION WITH YO TOE NAIL LAST NIGHT. WE COULD'VE BEEN SUPER STARS REMEMBER WHEN WE AS JACKING CARS. YOU AND YO TOE NAIL WAS GOING TO BE THE DYNAMIC DUO. BITCH YOU WAS GONNA BE IN AMERICA'S GOT TALENT SWINGING THAT SHIT AROUND LIKE A FUCKING BOOMERANG. SHUT YO STUPID ASS UP. BRUH I CAUGHT YOU JACK SPARROW RUNNING AROUND YOUR HOUSE WHILE YOUR DAD WAS TRYING TO BEAT YOU WITH A TOILET PLUNGER LAST NIGHT. COME HERE BOY! SHUT YO ASS UP. BITCH EVERYTIME YOU TAKE A SHIT THE GAME OF THRONES THEME SONG STARTS PLAMMERING IN YO HOUSE.BUM BUA BUM BUDUM BUM. SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRUH.

Are you getting mad?

Are you getting mad?

DAMN You getting mad now! Cuz yo Legal name is Ledenhouser Strogenberg. Nah don't be Smiling now boy You ain't slick Boy! I caught you in the locker room after gym class Frantically wiping yo armpits down With a kleenex While tryna smell good For the girls In the hallway. OI ZOINKS! I GOTTA- I GOTTA HURRY UP. SHUT YO ASS UP YOU LIKE A DIABETIC TOASTER STRUDEL. YOU UGLY AHH AS HELL. YOU GOT THEM BIG ASS HUMPTY DUMPTY PANTS ON BRUH. YOU USE A FRUIT ROLL UP AS A BELT TO HOLD UP YO BUNG DU BUNGLA. Shut yo ugly Ass up You got Mineral deposits In your Belly button. You dumb As hell You thought Google drive Was a brand new Taxi service. Bitch yo Grandma Threw a Rage spell On the kitchen floor And started Smacking you with A weiner schnitzel. Shut yo ass up You a Diabolical Special needs Student. Boy you was In the back of a Short bus Maniacally Planning How you was gonna Take over Your school.HMMMMM YEAHHHHHHHHHH It will be MINE! Shut yo Ass up, Boy I caught you Butt Naked Playing gorilla tag With a mouse in your Kitchen. Yo ass Be sliding around The counters Like a paraplegic Frozone. Gotta Catch 'em ALL! Shut yo ass up With yo "I got a feeling Ooooooooo!" Everytime yo Grandpa Tickles yo Butthole. Shut yo Stupid ass up You thought the One chip challenge Was sticking a Hot cheeto Up your buttcrack. Ok! Here we go Everybody! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Shut yo Dirty ass up Get yo ass on bruh.

It's actually so fucking sad these people still exist in 2024.

Istg misogynists and forced birth extremists and rapists are the most atrociously ugliest love-lacking idiots.

Image ref:

I rest my fucking case, your honor. Kill every single one of these people before I do it myself.

[sassmar]

ten books to know me

ohhhh tysm for the tag molly @mblematic my beloved !! <3<3 this looks so fun except that now. you will all know what created my twisted brain ah well. alas!

the outsiders by s.e. hinton haha had to start with this one! read the outsiders for the first time at like 11/12 yrs old and it was truly truly formative! PONYBOY! SODAPOP! johnny and dally!! also it's quite gay.

a separate peace by john knowles continuing with the themes of male friendship, homoerotic subtext, and books i read in middle school that fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and turned me into the freak i am today or whatever.

lord of the flies by william golding look i know the ~*~mOrAL*~*`! is arguably misanthropic/malthusian/whatever but also. forget about that. it is very gay thats all that matters. and it is ANOTHER book that i first read in middle school and then immediately reread like at least three more times bc it made me absolutely feral. also . . . . . . sucks to your assmar!!

stoner by john williams :) this one has nothing to do with weed (it is about sad academics) and also i did not read it until my twenties but. i did write like forty-five pages about why it is secretly gay! (also it is starkly beautiful and very heart-rending, i do love a book that digs around in my organs and squeezes mercilessly like a toddler playing with slime.)

the waves by virginia woolf finally a book that isnt gay JUST KIDDING it is in fact also a lil gay but mostly it's just fucking beautiful. possibly the most beautiful novel i've ever read idk, hard to say and its not a quick read but like. read it for the first time in high school and have returned to it a number of times since then and. her prose my GOD. its a novel but also a poem, just a very long love poem to .... everything ....

fun home by alison bechdel technically it's a gRapHiC nOvEL and i only read it for the first time about a year ago but. have reread it since and it continues to haunt me istg this memoir is STUNNING the most gorgeous graphic novel & most gorgeous memoir i have ever ever encountered. an actually brilliant piece of literature in every right. makes me sob. (also, yes, it is very gay.)

the heart is a lonely hunter by carson mccullers well i HAD to include carson mccullers on the list dear god!! also so formative...read this book for the first time in high school, have returned to it a number of times since. it is. truly beautiful !!!!!! what else can i say <3.

who's afraid of virginia woolf by edward albee this is in fact a PLAY (!!) also an amazing movie but. i have read the play many many times it is SO funny, SO smart, SO painful. who needs whips when you and yr partner are. mentally torturing each other for sport. another one i read for the first time as a teen so again.... rather formative.

lolita by vladimir nabokov all right well honestly i read this for the first time in high school and enjoyed it, especially part one, thought it was smart n funny n that part two was kinda all over the place but still yknow overall felt positively about it. BUT. gave it a reread last year and jesus CHRIST i was just like !! i missed SO much !! it is not only so goddamn beautiful but SO much more complex and brilliant than i ever picked up on as a teenager my god. the prose is like the most intricate beautiful renaissance painting and the plot is like the most infuriatingly complicated game of CHESS but. it's ?? the product of a genuinely brilliant mind ?? idek but i will probably read this book at least five more times before i die its just. wow.

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater HAHA copied you molly !!!!!! :) :) devil emoji etc. thought about choosing a book of poetry or just something else Literary but like, i recognize this list is already pretty full of Boring Classic Literature and such so i guess i can loosen my corset or whatever and say. these goddamn ya books. SPECIFICALLY the dream thieves (you are so right!) but also just the series generally jfc. i thought i hated ya but these books have changed me and everything i thought i knew about myself ....... maggie writes such poetic sentences...... "his exposed shoulder was raw and beautiful as a corpse" JESUS FUCKING !! only just read these like six months ago or something but they have utterly rewired my brain chemistry and maybe shifted the entire trajectory of my life so. i cannot. i cannot even. <3

oh shit i forgot to tag ppl um @billsfangearring @forlorngarden @shipsnsails @everythingbutcoldfire @colgatebluemintygel @perverse-idyll no pressure whatsoever xx

[binniesoob]

@faceglitchsworld tagged me to do one of the following games but i'm gonna do ALL OF THEM 😈 because they're fun and i love doing these thingz uk uk <3

OKAY LET'S GO!!

First game: make this picrew here

i love this!! also i NEED this sweater ⁉️

Second Game: time to put my music on shuffle then list the first ten songs!

i'm gonna put my "50 most replayed songs in the last 6 months" playlist on shuffle, let's see 👀

きらり (kirari) by fuji kaze

the perfect pair by beabadoobee

seven by jungkook ft. latto

four leaf dream by matilda mann

heaven by jimmy brown

cool with you by new jeans

like crazy by jimin

falling behind by laufey

eve, psyche and the bluebeard's wife by lesserafim

for the night by chlöe ft. latto

Third game: doing this picrew here and answering 15 questions!

i made my dream looking myself atm!! i want to cut my hair like this so bad!!

Name: Giorgia 💐

Age: i'm shape shifter 🤚 i was born 22 years ago but i still look 17 and i'm stuck in my head 19 but i have the back pains of a granny (i'm secretly sophie from ghibli howl's moving castle)

Favourite season: i'm another one of those autumn girlies 🍂

Do you carry a bag/purse? what kind? i've been obsessed with tote bags, my lil collection is growing eheh. it's all i've been using to carry my stuff around for months now

What color is your waterbottle? i use a thermos as one and it's classic silver

What color is your phone case? clear and it's so crusty now 💀 i desperately need a new one asap

Do you sleep in silence or do you need white noise/sounds/music? silence but white noise from the outside world is welcomed (rain, cars on the highway) once i fall asleep i sleep like the dead istg i hear almost nothing apart from the sound of my alarm that my brain recognises ... and if my dear neighbours decide to use a drill on the room facing mine at 7 am ah ah 🥰🔪

Top sheets. Yes or no? definitely yes

You're in the candy aisle at the corner store, what are you grabbing? FRUITS JELLIESSS and the rainbow stripes with granulated sugar on top 😋 🌈

Preferred mode of travel (plane, train,car,bus,on foot): train for public transport, i want a car of my own 😔 and i enjoy walking in nature or around cities

What's your phone background right now? it's a very simple cute beige grid on a creamy white background, i always need simple backgrounds to clearly see icons and widgets otherwise it confuses my brain

Are you more of a minimalist or maximalist? a bit of both? but more on the minimalist side?

It's time to paint your bedroom! What color are you choosing? OH GOD FINALLY 😭 my room desperately needs to be repainted :(( i'll go for white or avory and get rid of that popcorn texture i hate with a passion 😍 i want a wall so smooth i could sleep on it

And finally, tell me something that brings you joy: atm i'll say music and reading <3

(oh, did we lose a question?😮)

I'm tagging @ashxxgyu @rieloving-mess @ghostfeather @aureangels @somebodycallixii feel free to do all the games, just one or none! no pressure ;) in case you were already tagged in these sorryyy i didn't notice 🙈

[burntvhs]

Warrior cats fans when the main age demographic starts acting like their main age demographic

Istg if I see one more post about how someone in their late teens to earlier twenty's make a post about how annoying ten year old wc fans are I'm going to lose it

Like yes, there are going to be 10 year olds on Roblox and playing animal roleplay games (WCUE), like fork found in kitchen wtf else did you expect???

If you're so concerned about accuracy, go grab your friends and play Feral Heart or something ffs

[deathsweetblossoms]

All of these tags!!!! You get me!

It’s been ten years since I read this series, and, while I did enjoy the adults on my first read, I was still too young to really appreciate it. Now I am an adult and my heart is bursting for the Gray Man, Maura, Persephone, and Calla. I find myself wishing we had even more and more of their story as the story unfolds. I’ve always loved 300 Fox Way, but now I love it EVEN MORE.

Calla also likes to box, and does aerial yoga. Persephone is alien, like Adam, and the I can’t even remember if we go any deeper into her backstory than that. The psychic games the women play with each other when they have days off. The dynamic between the three women and their knowing glances and silent conversations, which mirror Gansey’s silent conversations with the raven boys!! Gray and Maura had that one date together and I honestly could have read five more chapters of their banter.

But beyond all of these things, the fact that there is this adult storyline going on makes this series all the more special. I think it’s so magical that I’m returning to this and having basically a new experience and a nostalgic experience with it. I’m looking back at a youth I can’t return to, but also seeing myself reflected in the adult stories — I JUST. Can’t say enough good things about this series istg.

WHAT DID I F*CKING SAY?!?

Gray Man is the grown up, dangerous and nefarious version of Gansey.

The way he looks through all of Gansey’s belongings with such care and reverence. So cute!!

The way he, like me, lost his shit when the two goons stomped through the mini model of Henrietta (which btw I am GUTTED HOW DARE THEY)!!

I love him. He is hot and mysterious and dangerous. GET IT MAURA.

[just-here-for-the-art-shit]

Wizard 101 Boss: "Young wizard! Prepare to meet your match - but I warn you, I will be your last, muahaha-"

Wizard: "I've heard every variation of that a thousand times now. I've been at this since 2012 and I've refused to give it up as I watch my childhood die around me. I've slaughtered thousands, I've put hundreds of ghosts and rock people to rest. I've watched an entire world be destroyed along with all the friends I've made. I have a hundred different adults asking me, a child, for assistance in endless life-threatening and traumatic tasks for minimum gold wage. I've spent months of my life just walking, flying, and swimming around this world. I've spent months of my life talking to endless amounts of people, each with their own story and problems. I've spent months of my life hearing the Aztec battle theme play in the background because simple battles take 45 minutes now. I've been called every fake slur for human that exists. I feel nothing. Do you understand - I FEEL NOTHING."

Boss: "..... Jesus kid, look I'm just programmed to say this shit-"

Wizard: "I'm going to kill you and I won't even remember you the next day. I'm going to watch you die as I summon a motherfucking dragon for the 10000th time to obliterate you because someone told me to do it. It will be the coolest shit you've ever seen but it will be boring to me."

Boss: "I - I get it-"

Wizard: "GOD IS DEAD. WE KILLED HIM-"

[mbappeslover]

i love you.

mbappé x f! reader.

y/n bleaches her best friend of five years, kylian, hair. who knew bleaching hair could be so romantic?

yet again, another friends to lovers. there’s nothing better than that istg lmfao.

songs to listen to while reading this: sure thing by miguel, new person, same old mistakes by tame impala, and looking out for you by joy again.

made this @ 4 am, enjoy.

“are you sure about this, kylian? you do know that you have to bleach your hair multiple times to achieve this color.” you ask unsure.

you were on the way to the hair store with your bestfriend of five years, kylian mbappé.

he wanted to celebrate his 19th birthday by dyeing his hair white and instead of going to a salon, he wanted you to dye it. the reason as to why? well, he thought it’d just be fun.

“yes, y/n. you asked me this a hundred times. i am 100% sure. i, kylian mbappé wants you, y/n y/l/n, to dye my hair white.” he says chuckling while opening the door of the hair store for you to enter.

you mutter out a quick thank you to him and he nods in response.

ten minutes later.

“alright, this is everything. the bleach, toner, mixing bowl, and gloves. you ready?” you ask, laying everything out on the bathroom counter.

“yea, i’m ready.” kylian says rolling his gaming chair into the bathroom.

“your gonna sit on that?”

“uh, yea.” he says in a ‘duh’ tone.

“why do you still have your shirt on? it’s a nice shirt, take it off.” you slightly scold him because he should know better.

“i’ve never bleached my hair before, i didn’t know, relax mom.” he says in a mocking tone before swiftly removing his shirt.

you couldn’t help yourself.

okay, you knew kylian had a nice body. but, he’s your friend. you remember when he was scrawny, awkward and had like a million posters up of cristiano ronaldo like a loser.

he wasn’t that same young mbappé. also, he was an athlete, a football player. he was lean yet broad. his muscles were so defined.

“what the fuck.” you whisper to yourself. you basically just eye-fucked your bestfriend.

you snap out of your head to see kylian smirking at you.

“like what you see?” he says while wiggling his eyebrows.

“oh shut up, mbappé. i don’t.”

“are you sure because it looked like you were gonna start drooling any moment now.” he says, smirking.

“i hope you do know i have the ability to mess up your hair, right?” you say, shifting your weight on your hand on your hip.

“okay, alright y/n, i’m sorry. please do not mess up my hair.” he says, holding both of his hands together while pouting.

“ew, stop it. you look ugly.” you say, laughing at his now offended face.

“okay, do my hair now, you little shit.” he says jokingly.

you begin the mixing process for the bleach and developer as kylian turns on his ‘chill’ playlist.

the first song that plays is ‘sure thing’ by miguel. kylian immediately starts grooving to the beat with a small smile decorating his face.

you look at him and smile, your best friend is truly your best friend. he knows all the ways to your heart.

he sees you looking and begins to sing the lyrics to you.

‘i got faith in you and i, so put your pretty little hand in mine.’ he sings along with the song while pointing at you.

he’s so cute.

you throw him the middle finger, he laughs, the song continues to play as you two subtly hum along the tune.

“alright, let’s paint this bad boy on you.” you say sliding on the gloves and positioning yourself in front of kylian.

you spread vaseline around his hairline and ears.

you begin applying the mixture at the top of his head, as it is easily accessible.

a new song begins to play, ‘new person, same old mistakes’ by tame impala.

kylian randomly sets his hand on your waist. he’s always like this, touchy. so it didn’t seem out of the ordinary.

‘will i be in too deep? going with what i always longed for.’

“for support.” he blurts out. feeling the need to explain, for some reason.

“okay…?” you chuckle.

a few moments passed when kylian begins to slightly tap on your waist with his index finger to the beat of the song.

“hm, that feels nice.” you say thoughtlessly.

“mmm, it does?” he says agreeing.

you reach the spots that are near his sensitive spots.

“hold on, ky. lift your head up a bit.” you say bending your knees slightly, trying to cover the spots with bleach without accidentally getting it on his skin.

“you can sit on me, if you want.”

‘in a new direction, so how will i know i’ve gone too far?’

“you sure?” you ask, taken aback by the sudden offer.

“yeah, come here, i don’t bite.” he says, removing his hands from your waist, patting his empty lap.

kylian is just your best friend, best friends do this all the time. it’s nothing. you’re just sitting on his lap.

you get closer, opening your legs more before situating yourself onto his lap.

it’s warm, kylian’s warm.

his hands make his way up to your thighs, holding onto them while you make sure you are seated on his lap properly.

“what are you doin-“ you’re quick to ask. but, cut off by kylian.

“are you comfortable? is this alright? just making sure you don’t fall off.” he says making the mistake of looking you in the eye.

when you’re with kylian, everything feels warm. your cheeks feel warm, your heart feels warm, and the world feels light. your heart, it flutters.

you look back into his eyes. those eyes you grew to love. those clear, beautiful dark brown eyes. you two just stare at each other. the air in the room taking a dramatic shift.

before you can ask, he beats you to it.

“y/n, can i kiss you?” he says, voice cracking a bit. he was obviously nervous.

you look at him with so much tenderness and… love?

setting the bowl of bleach down on the counter, you answer him.

“yes, mbappé, i want you to kiss me.” you say, smiling. you usually never smile this big, the times you did; it was because of your best friend, kylian mbappé.

he dives right in.

first, a small peck, like when you’re at an ice cream shop and they give you those small spoons for you try out an ice cream flavor. just testing it out.

he pulls back and looks at you for approval, in case you wanted to back out.

then, he goes all in. holding your waist, caressing it a bit as he kisses you like his life depends on it. you bring both of your arms behind his neck, your body goes limp. you feel a swipe of tongue on your lips, his hand trails down to your bottom, gripping on it. you gasp.

bad idea.

he slips his tongue in and loses control. he drags his tongue against yours, basically wrestling. stopping in the middle sometimes to admire you, giving you a peck before diving right back in again. softly & playfully biting down on your lip, he pulls back, licking his lips and staring at you.

you two, breathless.

the only thing in the room right now is the terrible smell of bleach, the sound of heavy breathing coming from the both of you, and ‘looking out for you’ by joy again leaking from the speaker of kylian’s phone.

you feel something poking your bottom.

you get up from his lap immediately, grabbing the bowl and impulsively begin applying bleach to the rest of his hair.

you hear a sigh leave your best friend’s mouth.

‘when will you start looking out for me too. instead of leaving me staring at my shoes?’

“y/n.” he says.

…

“y/n.”

…

“y/n, i love you.”

you freeze.

you continue to ignore him.

“all set, it already began to lighten your hair, look. i’m still gonna cover it with a bag to speed up the process though.” you say, acting obliviously.

he’s quiet, so you face him. he looks so… sad. it makes your heart hurt. you quickly wrap the plastic bag on his head.

‘i’m all choked up on my own throat, i guess there is no hope.’

“oh yea, where’d you learn to kiss like that? it was like the best kiss i’ve ever received.” you said, forcing out an awfully fake laugh.

he only glares at you.

“not funny? okay…”

“yea, also, the only kiss. we both know you’ve never kissed anyone before.” he spits out.

“not true.” you scoff.

“yea it is.” he says, standing up and pining you in between the wall and himself.

“woah, calm down. are you gonna hit me because i didn’t say i love you back? fine, i love you, kylian, my best friend forever.” you say, smiling playfully.

‘it’s the same old situation, you’ve always got me waiting.’

“c’mon, i’m serious y/n. who kisses their best friend like that? i see how you look at me and you know how i love you. i want you, y/n. i know you want me too.” he says, a bit defeated.

you can’t hold up the mask anymore, you begin to tear up. you are utterly in love with your best friend of five years and you can’t hide it.

he tips his head lower and sees your eyes watering up, he smiles. he knows how much of a crybaby you are.

“of course stupid, i want you so bad.” you say, smiling as he wipes away your stray tears.

“you know, i’d take you more seriously if you didn’t have a bag on your head and a massive boner right now.” you both laugh.

“the things you do to me, you know, you should help me with this. it’s your fault.” he says jokingly.

you playfully smack his arm with a huge smile on your face.

‘she’s beaming that smile, all the while.’

“sure. but, you’ll have to teach me. now come on, let’s wash this bleach off.” you say winking at him and turning around to turn the faucet on.

“i love you so much, y/n.” he says wrapping his arms around you from behind and leaving soft kisses down your neck.

“i love you too, mbappé.” you say, turning yourself around, holding his face and leaving pecks all over.

later that night.

you were done with his hair, it came out perfectly. exactly how he wanted it. you took many photos of him, you had a whole album of pictures that you’ve taken of kylian throughout the years. how could you not tell how in love you were with him?

you guys were now in bed, snuggled up together.

just comfortable silence and warmth.

“by the way, that was my first kiss as well.” he admits.

“really? no way. you’re lying.” you exclaim, turning around to face him.

“nah, maybe i’m just a natural.” he says pointing out his bottom lip and tilting his head with confidence.

you giggle.

but, stop to see a serious look adorned on your best friend’s face.

“i could say it a million times, i really love you, y/n. i wanna give the world to you. you’re so beautiful, prettiest girl i’ve ever laid my eyes on. i love your humor, the way you laugh. the way you take care of me, the way you annoy me. you’ll always be my best friend. even when you become my girlfriend.”

he’s so sweet, you could burst. he really loves you, you look at him with so much love.

“what makes you so sure i’ll be your girlfriend?” you respond jokingly.

“will you be my girlfriend, y/n y/l/n?”

“duh.”

he laughs, kissing all over your face and tickling you.

“you’re the best birthday gift ever.”

took me like a whole week to drop a new fic, i apologize </3. i’m working on like two fics right now with veryyy detailed plots so they’re taking a while to complete. ty for reading!

[bluebellbleats]

thinkin about how ten years ago peta made a shitty parody of the pokemon game that talked about the message they wanted to talk about but better

like N already brought up genuine concerns about pokemon in captivity being forced to battle, and was a compelling and well-written character

and then peta took that message and pissed on it and made it slap you in the face like "ho ho HO HO HO we got you now pokemon fans"

idk fuckin peta is stupid istg

[hyukassubi]

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧 ! " Songs you actually listen to ( ? ) " tag game

Rules: when you get this, you have to put five songs you actually listen to , and post it! then, send this to ten of your favorite followers ! (non - negotiable, positivity is cool)

Tagged by lee!! @robin-obsessed (sorry I took a while writing this up, I listen to too many songs istg)

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧

This song yo. It's so. Immaculate is an understatement. I was going through some rough times and then I stumbled upon this masterpiece and WHOA. ITS SO FULL OF LIFE SO BUBBLY SO PERFECT FOR ME. NOT A LOT OF SONGS CAN MAKE ME FAIL TO NOT DANCE AND SING TO IT LIKE THIS ONE DOES.

Once blue hour comes up you bet I'll dance and sing in broken Korean to this song. Seriously, this just makes me. So, so happy. Makes me feel like I'm tripping but in a good way, like in an Alice in wonderland way.

Ahh cafune songs are really. Like. To me they're pretty emotional but not SAD EMOTIONAL IN MY FEELS JUST WENT THROUGH A BREAKUP DONT TALK TO ME... ykwim?

But it hits deep, and this song really spoke to me.

When the singer goes 'id rather be alone, I really should've known' in the chorus, yeah. That part hits home. I have my own interpretation of the song and I relate to it so so much. Unlike Blue Hour, this song forces me to kinda reminisce about the past rather than pull me out of it, but in a good way. In a 'main character gets character development' sorta way.

THE 'COOL WEIRDO GIRL NEXT DOOR' VIBES IN THIS ONE IS SO 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

AAA I literally feel like a little 12 year old girl in a peaceful town ready to go to a skating park to paint random things and make new friends. Literally my main character opening theme song, absolutely love this typa music.

Now this one gives more of 'finally living that cottage core life in your 20's' vibes, which I absolutely live for. I can imagine myself in a meadow staring at yellow flowers idk breathing fresh air, aesthetic country girl vibes 🤩🤩💅 baking that blueberry pie ykwim?

This song is also very peaceful, and easily transports me to this realm of calm and slow creativity, it's perfect to get into this slow, trippy writing mood.

Similarly to Mr. Rager, this song makes me feel more hyped but the vibes is a whole three sixty. If Mr Rager was the sun then #brooklynbloodpop! is the moon. Mr Rager makes me feel like whipping out acrylics while #brooklynbloodpop! makes me feel like whipping out nerf guns in a trampoline park. Kinda gives me that burst of energy (kinda like blue hour but blue hour is the slow caffiene you'd find in matcha while this is more like 3 red bulls and 2 caramel cappuccinos) and I listen to it whenever I feel kinda sluggish.

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧

Tags!! ->

@kookthief @choistick @beomsitez @itz-yerin @flowerbeom @sakuzleaves @txt-yaomi @junniieesbby @page-hyuka

<33

! "songs you actually listen to(?)" tag game !

rules: when you get this you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, and post it! then, send this to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) < that is actually part of the rule i didn't make it up

tagged by: ilem aka @lovejoshua love how you tagged me but the tagging link doesn't work... it's very fortunate that i saw your post on my timeline

i'll do you all better... i'm doing 5 artists i'm currently listening to instead! and this will be full of tone indicators because people will get offended even by the minuscule things + because this is music i will freaking ramble so i'm sorry for the incoming long post

&team, specifically firework

this song is such a surprise for me and to be honest i hadn't even thought that hybe could make another good song for any other artists than newjeans /pretty srs. it has a bit of txt's thursday's child 80's vibe to it. it definitely makes much more sense than what the walmart twilight concept enhypen is doing /nm /criticism (believe me, i'm still stuck in the tamed-dashed era. also bring back the composer who makes given-taken pls /gen) i also want to give my two cents and say that i like the korean version better. i think this song was meant to be sung in korean before japanese imo

radiohead

what is 2023 lissie without radiohead? from creating and planning a 20-part anthology series based of their discography to buying my favorite albums of theirs on vinyl (which are the two albums that i plaster above), they've climbed up my ranks of favorite artists of all time. i choose jigsaw specifically because i rekindle my love of playing bass from that song and climbing up the walls because of the seonghwa fic i'm planning (it is exceptionally one of the most underappreciated songs in ok computer...)

billlie

they are the children of f(x) i'm telling you!!!!!!!!! just like how i consider the boyz as the children of exo and txt as the children of shinee. they are the siblings of 2016-2019 loona and gwsn. they are the product of sm ent's music prodigy sibling and i love them for that. they also are the junior of brown eyed girls, aka one of the most iconic kpop 2nd gen gg and the one that releases bops such as brave new world, kill bill, sign, and abracadabra! i love their discography so much and they have the potential to have one of the best kpop discographies in the industry alongside red velvet. i'll gatekeep them until the end along with onf because only people with taste can enjoy their songs /lh /gen aaaaaaaaaaa

triples aaa

the unit that could be if modhaus don't make such a strict rule because they disbanded for not having 100k album sold (womp womp) generation is such a high-quality debut track from a small company and dimension having their own versions within the subunits is a great concept. i mean, jaden jeong is the head of the 2016-2019 loona sound and i gotta have to appreciate him for picking good tracks man. their songs are also one of the bases of sound for my oc kpop group sound in @interactivemochi. also a discussion starter question: will modhaus actually be able to do the multi-unit many-member group that sm ent wanted with nct? i actually think they will because indie labels are more experimental than the big corporate ones (aka nct will be great with their infinite concept if they're committed and take those risks) just look at jaden jeong's print on onlyoneof and loona, they're pretty small but their fans are loyal af. yet, i'm merely just a casual listener of triples because they play around with nfts (and i am a biz student who doesn't like crypto and nft)

depeche mode and other new wave and 80s experimental musicians

when you have a gen z kid who likes older songs rather than new ones, they have to listen to new wave and synth-pop, specifically depeche mode. people usually associate them with post-punk along with talking heads, joy division, new order, kate bush etc and i can definitely agree. new wave is one of my favorite genres because of how experimental they are and it is exactly what depeche mode is doing + i love the resurgence of old brit bands like the shoegaze bands that includes slowdive, mbv, and siouxsie and the banshees

don't forget that this is meant to be 5 songs and i wanted to be extra because i can be extra *wink*

tagging: @ujunxverse (you could definitely do it on @/orochxi if you want), my fellow untag people from ilem's post @boba-beom @robin-obsessed, also others such as @dim-sun @tyunlatte @heart2beom @itz-yerin @txt-yaomi @talesofyuan @euphor1a + anyone who wanna join cuz i would love to hear new music :D

[churchyardgrim]

I, STRAHD: THE WAR AGAINST AZALIN by P.N. Elrod

[intro post]

OH GLORY OF GLORIES, SOMEONE COMPETENT 

going from the embarrassment that was Tower of Doom directly to this is a hell of an experience lemme tell you, one i can only describe as overwhelming relief

what makes matters even better is that, well, you remember that bit i complained about in King of the Dead? where they just kinda glossed over Azalin's whole half-century of cohabitation with everyone's favorite dracula? buckle up kiddies bc this whole book is about that

it's beautiful, it had me howling with laughter in a goddamn subaru dealership while my winter tires were getting changed over, everyone needs to read this immediately

so we open with Strahd being the most dramatic motherfucker in the grocery store, literally flinging himself off a mountain while howling his rage at the sky itself, bc Whoops, Tatyana's Dead Again

and then a week later he gets up off the ground like “ok i’m normal now”, and the book goes on to explain how he's gotten used to Barovia's still relatively new position in the mists. people do not leave. sometimes people enter! no one, not even the travelers, understand how this is done, and it pisses Strahd off. he is rattling the bars of his cage to be let out.

he has also made his famous deal with the Vistani, the only people who do have any degree of mobility between Barovia and the rest of the world; they enjoy a measure of safety from him and his agents, and in return act as his spies and limited servitors. he is also warned via a card reading that a powerful opposing figure approaches, and brings inevitable war

in any other story, this would be Our Designated Hero, Who Will Surely Triumph

i think by now you all can guess that this is not the case

and of course, a few years later, Strahd gets wind of Someone New harassing his nobles and making off with a rare magical book, to which he responds "excuse me, no, only i'm allowed to do that" and tracks the interloper to an abandoned manner house in the south of the country

it's at this point that i'd like to thank the author for the glorious image of Strahd getting just fuckign bug-zapped out of the air by the wards around this place so hard he hits a tree and straight up falls out of bat form. istg for all the work the game modules do to make Strahd into the ultimate big bad of the setting, unkillable and invincible, the man sure does spend a lot of time in these novels just getting the shit kicked out of him. it's beautiful and i want every minute of it framed on my wall. i wanna shove him in a locker and steal his lunch money.

anyway, as if the title of the goddamn book didn't give this away, this is where our buddy and pal Azalin Rex enters the scene! recently landed in Barovia, annoyed by literally everything but especially how he can't seem to memorize whatever spell's in that book he stole, damn thing must be broken i swear, and caked in so many illusions that it takes Strahd ten minutes to figure out there's Something going on under all that instagram contouring.

these two hit it off, well… less like a house on fire and more like a house being crushed by a glacier; icy and immovable and probably very worrisome to the neighbors down the street. they're instant bitchy exes, strangers to kismesises speedrun, they hate each other so much because they are so, so similar

Azalin is a king without a kingdom, prickly and a lil bit insecure and unsure of where he's landed and who this weird goth is and whether or not he should apply fireball directly to the problem yet. Strahd is 500% on edge, knowing full well that this is the fated necromancer he was warned about, and is in the process of sussing out exactly how worried he should be. the answer: very!

correctly surmising that this guy can turn him inside-out if he wanted to, and that Azalin is also a fellow Royal Personality and thus might feel motivated to cover his insecurities by yoinking rule of Barovia out from under Strahd's dainty lil goth boy boots, Strahd thinks very fast and manages to trap his new houseguest in a nonaggression pact of hospitality. Azalin is his guest, however unwillingly, and there are rules a guest and a host must observe with each other dammit.

and thus did two undead bastards become study buddies. neither of them like being stuck here, and Azalin doesn't have the distraction of hunting down the reincarnations of a girl he knew in high school. he's a better wizard than Strahd is at this point, too, of which Strahd is keenly aware, and between the two of them they're confident they can blow this popsicle stand within six months

they're there for forty years

to summarize a lot of slow-moving plot, Strahd does his new roomie the favor of restoring that old manner house he'd found him in into a proper wizard's lab, and by the time the renovations are finished Strahd wants Azalin out of he got damn house so fuckign badly, i love it

Azalin knows Strahd's nature well enough, but has managed to keep his own a secret in addition to his fun new curse of being unable to learn any new magic from this point forward. this manifests in the infuriating habit of having Strahd do a lot of the magical gruntwork with testing new escape spells, and good god it's like they're tenured professors arguing over whose turn it is to supervise the interns, it's delightful

eventually they make their first proper attempt, something something summer solstice, combining a translocation with a summoning, it's not important. what is important is it blows up spectacularly and is genuinely one of the funniest points in the book i shit you not

Strahd barely avoids getting atomized, employing the age-old tactic of Hiding Behind Something While The Fireworks Go Off, and when he finally picks himself back up and stops being crosseyed, he just looks at Azalin's desiccated husk of a body splatted across a wall and says "well fuck, that killed him extra dead didn't it"

and then when Azzie starts moving again Strahd briefly remembers what having a functioning lower intestine feels like bc "oh shit oh fuck he was like that the whole time, abort, ABORT, HE'S A FUCKMOTHERING LICH" and then just. plays dead.

he lies down on the goddamn floor and prays Azalin didn't notice that he saw him with his pants i mean illusions off.

i swear to you, dear reader, i had to put the book down and try to remember how to breathe for a solid twenty minutes

anyway Strahd's fakeout somehow works, and they immediately start bickering over whose fault this shitshow was, which provides more than enough cover for Strahd to Fuckign Book It and go triple his own magical defenses, and also have a delightful lil panic attack

i maintain that P.N. Elrod is butch as all hell, by virtue of no one but butches understand masculinity well enough to satirize it this beautifully. she manages to convey Strahd's "i'm not panicking, you're panicking" with this delightfully wry tone that i can't get enough of, and i fully intend to track down her other non-Ravenloft vampire novels once my brain loosens its vicegrip on this setting, bc by god i need more of her voice in my life

we're about halfway through now, and it's at this point that things start Happening in the wider world. namely, that there is suddenly a wider world for things to be Happening in. for about two hundred years at this point, Barovia has been totally isolated by the mists, and most ppl have just gotten used to this, barring a pair of geriatric wizards who keep trying to give spacetime what-for.

but now! all of a sudden! there's another country just. attached to the southwest end of Barovia like a malignant growth.

what's a local vampire lord to do? apparently commandeer a few of the refugees fleeing said new country to go show him where the fuck they came from, is what.

tragically Strahd still can't physically leave the bounds of his own country, mists or no mists, but he can mindcontrol a dude to go back in and have a look around for him. long story short, this new place is Forlorn and it is uhhhhh largely empty! just a bunch of weird magical mutants, and some hermits who aren't too jazzed about said weird magical mutants, and who all move into Barovia within a few months of the two nations sharing a border. 

this provides our two best buddies plenty of new study material, as do the next seven or so new countries that appear periodically like weird geographic parasites grafting themselves onto Barovia's decreasingly misty borders. Azalin can actually leave Barovia, which he's extremely smug about for the twelve minutes before Forlorn physically flings him back over the line in a pinwheel of stuffy robes and flailing knobbly legs, and boy i hope Strahd got a good knee-slapping laugh out of that bc god knows i sure did

the appearances of new lands culminates in Azalin's disappearance from Strahd's radar, and the emergence of his largest neighbor yet: Darkon. using his favorite remote-viewing magical scrying drone trick, Strahd starts sniffing around and is immediately yanked by the collar on a flash tour of the place, ending in the throne room of Castle Avernus, because if anyone knows how to cultivate an impression, it's Azalin Fucking Rex

yes after forty years of bumming around Strahd's backyard, Azalin has a shiny new gilded cage of his very own! congrats buddy, ur still stuck here like the rest of us. but at least ur not rubbing shoulders with that guy anymore.

unfortunately for Azalin's dramatic sense, Strahd is a) not physically there to intimidate, and b) an expert in the art of Not Being Impressed With Your Shit, so the dramatic tension lasts about five minutes before they're back to jabbing at each others' insecurities in the best long-distance shouting match i've ever seen

seriously they should televise this shit, sell tickets, they'd make a fortune

so far the titular War Against Azalin is less of a war and more of an Ongoing Domestic Dispute With Azalin, but the instant their bargain of hospitality is no longer required, that's when that forty year cold war goes real fucken hot

it's a bit of an anticlimax really. you'd think, being undead archmages, these two would fight like wizards and just hurl lightning and rocks and Spell Of Fuck You at each other over the borders, but instead they just… chuck some zombies at some dudes in armor and call it a day

military commander habits die hard i suppose

Strahd's in a bit of a genuine pickle actually, his noble caste have had two hundred years to get lazy and indolent, and he has to do a whole "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" montage to get them into fighting shape. but Azalin keeps handicapping himself by executing half his most effective lieutenants bc they don't agree with his pizza topping preferences or whatever, so Strahd gets to feel smug about being able to actually retain the loyalty of his people on his own

granted, it's not hard to be more charismatic than a bog mummy that got lost on a tour through the beef jerky factory, but still

we end on a narrow battle victory for Strahd, leaving Azalin to spend a few years rebuilding his forces out of corpses and whatever new talent he can scrape up, and having set the stage very effectively for the hundreds of years of conflict between Barovia and Darkon to come. the resentful roommates have become the viciously estranged exes, and nowhere in the dread domains will know peace ever again. 

tragically they will never really come to physical blows in the spectacular wizard fight way i really want them to, bc neither of them can leave their respective houses here, but u know what i think i can live with the kind of needlessly convoluted machinations guys like that come up with in order to fight proxy wars via soldiers and agents and all the tools of statecraft at their disposal. 

it's just. god i love this book. i love watching bitchy old men be bitchy at each other, i love how deep the world feels despite experiencing it through the viewpoints of two guys who have to share Ebeneezer Scrooge's allotment of goodwill, i love the tiny sprinklings of vampire horniness and lich avarice, i love it i love it i love it

absolutely track this book down if you can, or listen to the audiobook as it'll likely be a lot cheaper. if you need me i’ll be rereading Vampire of the Mists for old time’s sake, and also wallpapering my house in pdfs of the Ravenloft Gazetteers bc did u know there’s fuckign travelogues published for these places? with sneaky metaplot about Azalin and his many many kids i mean clones? holy shit yall.