#ten years later still a fantastic song

[absentlyabbie]

The Wolf - Phildel

--

And you once said "I wish you dead, you sinner" I'll never be more than a wolf at your door, for dinner And if I see you 'round like a ghost in my town, you liar I'll leave with your head, oh, I'll leave you for dead, sire

[talkdutchtome]

Glitch- chapter ten

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader / mason mount x reader )

summary . . . when mason mount finds out that his assistant has been harbouring feelings for him for years, he makes it clear he doesn't feel the same way. but once he sees her become closer with formula 1 world champion max verstappen, he realises he may have underestimated his feelings towards the girl he has now pushed into the arms of another )

genre . . . angst )

song . . . glitch- taylor swift )

series masterlist . . . available here )

a/n . . . not proofread sorry, i had to take a break from writing my dissartaion to write this and i cannot fathom looking at my laptop for any longer tonight. also this chapter is v v angst so prepare yourselves <3 )

Y/N stared at her buzzing phone, her heart pounding in her chest. Mason's name flashed on the screen, a stark reminder of the tangled web of emotions she found herself caught in. She knew he must have seen Max's unexpected PDA on the TV, and she could only imagine the turmoil it stirred within him. 

Part of her wanted to answer, to offer some kind of explanation or reassurance. But another part, the part that had brought her to Monaco in the first place, urged her to leave the call unanswered. She wasn't sure if talking to Mason would only complicate things further, or if it would bring some clarity to the chaos swirling in her mind. 

So, with a shaky hand, she silenced the ringing phone and tucked it back into her purse, her decision made but her uncertainty still lingering like a shadow in the back of her mind, but she tucked her worries away the best she could and went to watch Max’s press conference.  

After Max finished his press obligations, he diligently scanned the bustling area, his keen eyes searching for Y/N amidst the crowd. When he spotted her, patiently waiting for him, a genuine smile stretched across his face, illuminating his features with a warmth that mirrored the affection he held for her. 

Approaching her, he caught her eye, his gaze softening as he reached her side. "Hey," he greeted, his voice laced with genuine appreciation. "Thanks for being here." 

Y/N returned his smile, her eyes sparkling with admiration. "You were fantastic out there," she complimented, her voice a blend of pride and affection. 

Max's smile widened at her words, his heart swelling with gratitude. "Thanks," he replied sincerely, his appreciation evident in his tone. "It means a lot to have you waiting for me as I step out of the car" 

As the press area buzzed with activity around them, Max's expression shifted slightly, his demeanor taking on a more serious tone. "Listen," he began, his voice tinged with a hint of concern. "I have to stay late for a few meetings with the engineers. It might take a while." 

Y/N nodded understandingly, though a flicker of disappointment flashed across her features. "Okay," she acknowledged, her tone tinged with understanding. "I'll head back to your house then." 

Max's eyes softened at her response, his gratitude evident in his gaze. "Thanks," he murmured appreciatively. "I'll join you later." 

Just before he turned to leave, Max leaned in, his movements gentle yet deliberate, and planted a quick, casual kiss on her lips. The unexpected intimacy sent a shiver down her spine, leaving her momentarily stunned as she watched him walk away. 

As Max disappeared into the throng of people, Y/N stood rooted to the spot, her mind whirling with a myriad of emotions. The brief encounter left her feeling both exhilarated and bewildered, unsure of how to process the sudden surge of intimacy between them. It was so quick and casual, like it was something they had done a thousand times before. 

Feeling a whirlwind of emotions swirling within her, Y/N decided to divert her thoughts by immersing herself in a familiar task. With a determined stride, she made her way to the nearest supermarket along the route to Max's house. As she perused the aisles, memories of the cozy café in London where she and Max had shared hot chocolates flooded her mind. 

Gathering the ingredients for the comforting drink, Y/N found solace in the routine of selecting the perfect items. She carefully chose the finest cocoa powder, the creamiest milk, and a sprinkle of cinnamon for that extra touch of warmth. With her purchases secured, Y/N made her way to Max's house, the weight of the bag in her hand a reassuring anchor. She greeted Max's two cats, Jimmy and Sassy, with a fond smile before retreating to the kitchen to prepare the hot chocolates. The routine of the task brought her a sense of calm, the rhythmic motions soothing her frazzled nerves. 

As she waited for the milk to warm and the chocolate to melt, Y/N couldn't help but replay the moment of the kiss in her mind. It had been so quick, so casual, yet its impact lingered, leaving her with a flurry of questions and conflicting emotions. She pushed aside the uncertainty, focusing instead on the simple act of gratitude she wanted to express to Max for his hospitality and kindness. 

When Max walked through the door and caught sight of Y/N standing in the kitchen, a wave of warmth flooded his chest. The comforting aroma of hot chocolate enveloped him, filling the air with a sense of home. Yet, as he approached, he noticed a hint of uncertainty in Y/N's demeanor, her eyes flickering with a touch of insecurity. 

Before she could overthink it, Y/N launched into a ramble, her words tumbling out in a rush of nervous energy. "I, uh, wanted to do something to say thank you for letting me stay here, but I can't cook, and I just didn't know what to do. But I know how much you liked the hot chocolate from that café in London, so I thought I could try and remake that, but I'm sure it won't taste the same, and I th—" 

Max gently interrupted her rambling with a soft smile, stepping closer to wrap his arms around her. "Hey," he murmured, his voice warm and reassuring. "You didn't have to do anything. But I love it, really. Thank you." 

His words washed over Y/N like a soothing balm, easing the knots of insecurity that had tightened in her chest. With a shy smile, she poured them each a cup of hot chocolate, the familiar ritual grounding her in the moment. 

As they settled on the couch to watch a movie, Y/N felt a sense of contentment wash over her. The warmth of the hot chocolate and the comfort of Max's presence enveloped her, lulling her into a sense of relaxation. Soon, she found herself drifting off to sleep, the steady rhythm of Max's heartbeat a soothing lullaby. 

When she stirred slightly in her sleep, Max gently lifted her in his arms, carrying her to her bed with a tenderness that made her heart flutter. As he laid her down, she murmured softly, her words barely audible in her half-asleep state. 

"Stay," she whispered, her voice tinged with vulnerability. 

Without hesitation, Max nodded, his heart swelling with affection as he settled in beside her. Y/N snuggled close to Max, seeking refuge in his comforting arms. He held her tight, their bodies entwined as they melted into the warmth of each other's presence. In the soft glow of the moonlight, they found solace, their breaths synchronized as they succumbed to the tranquility of sleep, their hearts beating in unison. 

As the sun rose over the horizon, casting a warm glow through the windows of Max's apartment, Y/N gradually emerged from the depths of sleep. She reached out instinctively, her hand searching for the comforting presence of Max beside her, only to find the space next to her empty. Blinking away the haze of sleep, she noticed a neatly folded note on the nightstand, Max's handwriting scrawled across the page. 

She unfolded the note, the words written in Max's familiar script inviting her to help herself to breakfast and join him at the track whenever she was ready. A soft smile graced her lips as she absorbed his thoughtful gesture, a warmth spreading through her at the reminder of his presence. 

Rising from bed, she made her way to the kitchen, where the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. Max had left everything she needed for breakfast, from cereal and fruit to freshly baked pastries. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she savored the quiet solitude of the morning, the gentle hum of the city outside a soothing backdrop to her thoughts. 

After a leisurely breakfast and a refreshing shower, Y/N dressed quickly, anticipation building with each passing moment. Grabbing her bag and Max's spare pass, she made her way to the track, the excitement of race day tingling in the air. The paddock buzzed with activity as teams made final preparations, the energy contagious as she navigated her way through the crowd. 

Spotting Heidi among the throng, Y/N waved eagerly, her spirits lifting at the sight of her friend. They exchanged warm greetings, their conversation flowing easily as they made their way to a prime viewing spot. As the race began, Y/N found herself swept up in the exhilarating spectacle, the roar of the engines and the thunderous applause of the crowd filling her with excitement. 

With each passing lap, Max's car surged ahead, his skill and determination evident as he battled for position. Y/N cheered him on with fervor, her heart swelling with pride at his remarkable performance. Beside her, Heidi shared in her enthusiasm, their shared love of racing forging a deep bond between them. 

Amidst the chaos of the race, Y/N's phone began to ring, the sound interrupting the roar of the engines. Surprised to see Ben's name flashing on the screen, she stepped away from the crowd, the noise of the garage fading into the background as she answered the call, a sense of curiosity piquing her interest. Her and Ben never really speak to each other outwith the time they spend with Mason or Reece, so she wasn’t sure what Ben could want. 

As Ben's panicked voice relayed the troubling events, a knot of worry tightened in Y/N's stomach. "Y/N, it's Ben," he began, his voice urgent. "You need to hear this. Mason... he... he snapped during the match today. Tried to start a fight, punched someone. He got a red card and just stormed off. Reece and I went to his house right after, but he won't answer the door or his phone. We're really worried about him." 

Y/N's heart sank at Ben's words, her mind racing with concern for her friend. "Oh my god, Ben. Is he okay? Where is he now?" she asked, her voice trembling with worry. 

"We don't know," Ben replied, his voice strained. "His car's outside, but he won't let us in. If there's anyone he'd talk to, it's you. Can you try calling him, check if he's okay?" 

With a sense of urgency, Y/N assured Ben that she would do everything she could to check on Mason. "I'll call him right away, Ben. Don't worry, we'll find him," she said, her voice determined as she ended the call and hurried back to Max's apartment, her mind completely forgetting about the race and Max. All she wanted to do was get to a quiet, private place to check on Mason 

As she made her way through the city streets, her thoughts were consumed by concern for Mason. She couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had settled over her since Ben's call, her mind filled with questions and worries about her friend's well-being. 

Finally reaching Max's apartment, Y/N wasted no time in dialing Mason's number, her heart pounding with each ring. "Mason, it's me," she said urgently as the call connected. "Ben told me what happened. Are you okay?" 

As Y/N arrived back at Max's apartment, her fingers trembling with anxiety, she wasted no time in dialing Mason's number, her heart pounding in her chest. "Mason, it's me," she said urgently as the call connected. "Ben phoned me. I'm really worried. What happened?" 

There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line before Mason finally spoke, As Y/N listened to Mason's voice on the phone, she could hear the raw emotion in his words, his voice hoarse and strained as if he had been crying. It pained her to hear him like this, knowing that he was hurting. "I don't know what to do, Y/N," he confessed, his words heavy with despair. "It's like everything's falling apart. I don't want to lose you, but... I don't know how to fix this mess. It's all my fault." 

Her heart ached at the sound of his distress, her own worry deepening. "Mason," she said softly, trying to offer him some comfort. "I'll be back soon, okay? We'll figure this out together. But no matter what happens, you won't lose me. You're my best friend, and that will never change. I promise." 

There was a moment of heavy silence before Mason spoke again, his voice trembling with vulnerability. "I saw Max kiss you on TV," he admitted, his tone filled with anguish. Y/N's breath caught in her throat, and after a moment of silence, she sighed deeply, the weight of his words settling heavily upon her. "I know," she said solemnly, her voice tinged with sadness. 

"I wish... I wish I could go back a few weeks ago. I wish it didn't take me so long to figure out how I feel about you. I had you, and I threw it all away" 

Y/N's heart sank at his words, unsure of how to respond to his confession. "Mason," she murmured, her voice laced with sadness. "Let Ben and Reece in. When I’m back in London I’ll come and we’ll talk about all of this okay. I’ll be back before you know it okay. But you can’t do that on the pitch okay. Don’t throw your career away because of all of this, it’s not worth it. 

When Mason asked her to stay on the phone for a bit longer, Y/N couldn't refuse. She understood his need for some semblance of companionship in this turbulent moment. "Sure, Mason," she replied softly, her heart aching for her friend. "Just go let Ben and Reece in, and we'll chat for a while." 

Mason agreed, and soon the three of them were engaged in a conversation that danced around the unspoken tension lingering in the air. They talked about anything and everything, deliberately avoiding the elephant in the room. Ben shared a hilarious story about a disastrous date he once had, and they all laughed together, if only to momentarily escape the weight of their troubles. 

However, as the conversation flowed, Y/N's attention was suddenly drawn to the sound of a key turning in the door. Reality crashed back in, reminding her of Max and the fact that she had left the race midway through without a word to him. With a heavy heart, she interrupted the conversation. "Guys, I... I need to go," she said, her voice tinged with regret. 

There was a moment of silence before Mason spoke up, his voice filled with concern. "Everything okay, Y/N?" 

Y/N hesitated for a moment before replying, "Yeah, everything's fine. I just... I have to go. Take care, okay?" Without waiting for a response, she ended the call and prepared herself to face Max, her mind racing with uncertainty and anxiety. 

Max entered the apartment with an unmistakable storm brewing behind his eyes. His expression was a mixture of anger and concern, evident in the tight set of his jaw and the furrow of his brow. "Where were you?" he demanded as soon as he saw her, his voice laced with frustration. 

Y/N felt a pang of guilt as she faced him, knowing she had caused him worry. "I... I had to go," she stammered, feeling the weight of his disappointment bearing down on her. 

Max's frustration spilled out in a torrent of words. "I got out of the car looking for you, and you were just gone. No message, nothing. Heidi had no idea where you were. She said one minute you were there, and then you weren't," he recounted, his tone laced with frustration. 

He took a breath, his anger softening slightly as he continued, "I brought you here because I wanted to show you what my life was like. But you just left. I was really worried. Nobody knew where you were. I tried to phone you a hundred times, and it kept saying your phone was engaged." 

Y/N felt a pang of remorse wash over her at the realization of how much she had worried him. "I'm sorry, Max," she apologized, her voice laced with regret. "I didn't mean to cause you any worry. But, Mason needed me and i nee-” 

Y/N felt a pang of remorse wash over her at the realization of how much she had worried him. "I'm sorry, Max," she apologized, her voice laced with regret. "I didn't mean to cause you any worry. But, Mason needed me, and I needed to be there for him." 

Max's brow furrowed deeper, his frustration evident in the way he clenched his jaw. "Mason, Mason, Mason," he muttered, his tone tinged with exasperation. "It's always about him, isn't it?" 

Y/N recoiled slightly at the sharpness in his voice, her heart sinking with guilt. "It's not like that," she protested weakly, her words faltering under the weight of his accusation. 

Max's anger flared once again at her response. "Isn't it?" he retorted, his voice rising in frustration. "We spent an amazing week together, and I was feeling really positive about us. But one word from Mason, and I'm dropped." 

Y/N's heart ached at his words, the truth of them cutting deep. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way," she admitted softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I care about you, Max, I really do. But Mason is... he's my friend, and he needed me." 

Max's frustration was palpable, his anger radiating off him in waves. "I don't know what to do," he continued, his voice strained with emotion. "I want to be with you, but I can't keep competing with him for your attention. What do I have to do? Is there anything I can do or will Mason always come first.” 

Max's question hung heavy in the air, filling the room with an unbearable tension. Y/N felt the weight of his words pressing down on her, but try as she might, she couldn't bring herself to respond. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat, suffocated by the suffocating silence that enveloped them. 

Max watched her intently, his eyes searching hers for any sign of reassurance, any glimmer of hope. But as Y/N's gaze fell to the ground, avoiding his, he felt his heart sink with a profound sense of disappointment. He had laid his heart bare, baring his vulnerability for her to see, but her silence spoke volumes. 

"F- fuck this," Max muttered, his voice thick with emotion as he turned away, his footsteps heavy against the floor. With a sharp exhale, he stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him with a resounding thud. 

Left standing alone in the wake of his departure, Y/N felt a surge of anguish wash over her, swallowing her whole in its bitter embrace.  

After everything Y/N couldn’t help but think that this what she deserved, to simply be alone.  

Tag List

@nightlockcornucopia @jaydensluv @girlytots19 @formula1mount @alwaysclassyeagle @aundercover @sofifiia @dessxoxsworld @lpab @lorarri @thelovehypothesis @torrie421 @ironmaiden1313 @celesteblack08 @glow-ish @urfavouritef1girly @alwaysclassyeagle @barnestatic @simxican @formula1mount @charli123456789 @mac-daddy-210 @lazybot @imguce @azxulaa @mehrmonga @sunny44 @skepvids @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @chimchimjiminie16 @tyna-19 @hoely-maria @stevesworld9 @f1lov3r @elliegrey2803 @heyyhelloohii @landosgirlxoxo @skepvids @aundercover @andydrysdalerogers @illicitverstappen @bbygrlllllll @kageyamama-hinatatata @imagandom @bibissparkles @sofifiia @dark-night-sky-99 @viennakarma @tyna-19 @wcnorris @storminacloud @girlintheredscarf @yourbane @anotherfan07 @hiireadstuff @valiantduckhumanclam

[winchestergirl2]

May Reading Rec List

To show some love and appreciation to all the amazing writers here on tumblr, here are all the fantastic fics I've read this month. 💖

Many of these fics and blogs are 18+ only, and NSFW please heed the author's individual fic warnings and requests regarding no minors. I am not responsible for your media consumption.

Reading Recs Masterlist

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Darken (Masterlist) @impala-dreamer

Authors Summary: ~You woke up in a trashed motel room covered in someone else’s blood and no memories of the past week.~

Without Her @foreverwayward

Authors Summary: Dean mourns the loss of the love of his life.

Tattooed @coffee-obsessed-writer

Authors Summary: Dean takes you to get ink

Sam Winchester

Lean On @winchester-fantasies

Authors Summary: Sam finds you years later after leaving you for Ruby. Set early in season 5. Inspired by the song “Lean On” by Major Lazer & DJ Snake.

Carry Me @welikeimagines-andfandoms

Authors Summary: Fun fluffy Drabble with the moose

You Lost Me @tattooed-on-my-wayward-soul

Authors Summary: Sam chose Ruby over the reader, now Ruby is gone and the reader and Sam are no longer together but Sam still loves her. The three go to watch the Supernatural play and Sam’s see what he really did to the reader.

Sam and Dean Winchester

Sleeping Arrangements @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

Authors Summary: Imagine sharing a bed with Sam and Dean.  No smut, but oh how we wish…

Dawson's Creek

CJ Braxton

One Exception @zepskies

Authors Summary: Joey has invited you to a party at Pacey’s apartment, and CJ has agreed to go, despite the contentious history between him and your new friends. He doesn’t want to be the reason you miss out on a good thing, but it also means he’ll have to hide his apprehension (and his alcoholism).  

Tracker

Russell Shaw

So Close @thebiggerbear

Authors Summary: You meet Colter and Russell at the morgue to help them gain access. Had you known how this was really going to go, you might have pushed Colter's call to voicemail.

Close Enough @thebiggerbear

Authors Summary: When you'd met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn't need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.

Waiting For The Real Thing @rizlowwritessortof

Authors Summary: You can't serve in the same unit with somebody without getting pretty close. She managed to survive around him until a couple of years ago. And when she hears about their brother-in-arms troubles, she heads that way to help out. Of course, Russ beat her to it. And now she just can't make herself leave without seeing him.

A Line And A Half @zepskies

Authors Summary: When Dory’s eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you don’t know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.

Walker

Cordell Walker

Moonlight Whiskey @idreamofplaid

Authors Summary: Cordell plans a romantic night for the reader that brings back memories from decades ago.

Ten Inch Hero

Boaz Priestly

When Broken Is Easily Fixed @deanbrainrotwritings

Authors Summary: priestly broke up with tish (yes!) uh, i mean… you watch him be pathetic and sad with his big wet green eyes.

Big Sky

Beau Arlen

Untitled drabble @anklesoverackles

[cherrycola27]

false god

Series Warnings: Mythology!AU. Language, alcohol, drinking. Military inaccuracies. Mutual pining, unrequited love. Allusions to and eventual smut. Minors DNI. 18+. Individual chapter warnings will come as needed. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

...........................................

Chapter 6: My Type

You and Bradley were both thankful that you were at a good place again in your friendship. The two of you returned to your previous routine of your Wednesday night hangouts, and the rest of August slipped away into a moment in time. September brought you two closer together as you still danced around the line of friends or something more.

It also brought along Mickey's birthday, and after the way the last party ended, the squad was ready to have a fun night out that didn't end in chaos.

Fanboy had never outgrown his punk rock phase, and for his birthday, he asked that every attend a cover band concert La Jolla. He had gone all out and even rented a party bus to take the group to and from the venue. Unfortunately, you had plans that night and wouldn't be able to attend. You made sure to send him a nice gift, though. Mickey was over the moon when he opened the autograph Star Trek poster and immediately forgave you for missing out on the fun.

Bradley, however, was extremely disappointed in the fact that you weren't coming. He was hoping that tonight would finally be his chance to lay his feelings on the line for you, but instead, he was drinking a beer, sandwiched between Payback and Bob, while Jake and Coyote made use of the stripper poles in the bus.

When they arrived, he couldn't wait to get off and get some fresh air. He had texted you a few times, but you hadn't responded. He checked his phone again to see that his messages were still unread. He sighed in disappointment before tucking his phone away and heading inside with everyone else.

Inside, an EDM DJ was playing some throwback Coldplay while a few techs were setting up for the band. The Daggers found a section near the right side and settled in. They gave their drink orders to a waitress who winked and Mickey when she found out it was his birthday.

Moments later, she returned with drinks and the promise to come back and see if they would need anything later.

With his whiskey in hand, Bradley leaned over to Fanboy and asked, "What's the name of this band again?"

Fanboy rolled his eyes. "The Styx. They do a mix of punk rock, eighties hits, pop, and some original songs. I heard them at a festival about a year and a half ago, and I've seen them a few places here and there. I'm pretty excited to see them again, though. Their lead singer left the band about five months ago to go solo, and apparently, an old friend of the lead guitarist stepped up and has been with them. I haven't heard her, but apparently, she's way better than the old singer." Fanboy explains.

Bradley nods his head and sinks back into his chair as he and everyone else waits for the show to start.

About ten minutes later, the DJ finishes, and some filler music comes through the speakers. The owner of the bar tells everyone that the band will start shortly. More people pour in. Bradley's mind wanders to you, and what you might be doing tonight.

...............

"How's the crowd out there?" You ask Lyla as she checks over her guitar once more. "The energy is fantastic. The place is pretty packed, too." She tells you with a smile.

"Great." You sigh.

A packed house

More people to watch you fail

"Don't worry, babe, you're going to kill it like you always do!" Mariana, the drummer and Lyla's sister, tells you. "Exactly. Just relax, we've got this!" Derrick, the bass player, says to the group. "If anyone boos, I will jump off the stage and shove my keyboard down their throat." Trent, Derrick's husband tells you. You can't help but laugh. You want to say something witty back, but you hear the stage manager start to introduce the group.

You can do this

You love doing this

You're going to be great

You take a deep breath and give yourself a once over in the mirror before stepping out. You look good— really good.

Netted tights cover your legs before disappearing under your cut-off denim shorts that show off your thigh tattoos.

A cropped black vintage Bon Jovi shirt covers your torso. You've cut some of the neck out of the shirt, so the lace of your bralette underneath is visible. Layers of silver chains with charms hug your neck and cleavage. A red flannel is tied around your waist.

Heavy, black, Doc Marten boots are on your feet, and your hair is loose and wild around your face. Sultry dark makeup graces your features, and you've traded your signature cherry red pout for a sensual shade of burgundy.

Rings and bracelets adorned your fingers and wrists. You truly looked the part of a rock queen. You look like sex on legs

Maybe you should pay Bradley a visit after this was over

You were broken from your thoughts by the cheers of the crowd. You took a deep breath as the rest of the group stepped out onto the stage. It was dark, thankfully, you couldn't make any faces out, and they couldn't see you just yet.

You turned to Lyla and the rest of the band who gave you the go-ahead.

..........

The Daggers, especially Fanboy, waited with baited breath as the band set up. Bradley sat there with a fresh glass of whiskey and prayed they were as good as Fanboy had made them out to be. There was nothing worse than sitting through a shitty band.

Soon, the opening sounds of Fallout Boy's "Centuries" filled the room. The band stayed shrouded in dim lights until the opening chorus finished, and then bright lits illuminated the stage.

Fanboy screamed in excitement as he leaned over to say something to Fritz, but Bradley's eyes didn't leave the stage. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He wasn't drunk. Surely, his mind had to be playing tricks on him.

Just as he was about to say something, it seemed like the entire group came to the realization at the same time.

"Oh my shit." Jake said. "It's that—"

"That's Hades." Bradley said before Jake could finish his question. "Holy shit." Bradley breathed out as he watched you on the stage.

You owned the space. You presses filled the room and demanded the attention of the crowd.

Bradley was captivated by you. He knew that he was attracted to you before. He'd tried so hard to keep his feelings pushed down, and when he kissed you, he knew he'd ruined his chances. But then—then you wanted to be his friend again, and he got the chance to fall for you all over again.

And this time, he fell harder.

Now, there was no denying his attraction for you. As he watched you on that stage, enthralled with your beauty and this new side of you he'd never seen before, Bradley couldn't help but let his mind wander.

The music continues, but now, it's all background noise to Bradley.

He isn't even sure what song you are singing right now. He's too busy watching the way your body moves to the beat and how he's sure you wore that outfit just to mess with him.

He knows that the last part isn't true because surely you didn't know that the Daggers would be here tonight. Fanboy had only asked if you were free tonight. He'd never told you the plans, but in the back of Bradley's mind, he likes to think that you wore that cropped Bon Jovi tee for him and the moment you'd shared months ago.

He watches the hem of your shirt catch on your fingertips as you drag your hands up your body and sway with the music. Bradley hasn't stopped staring at the patch of skin that is just visible between it and the waistband of your jean shorts. He is eager to know what you might have on under it and how it would look on his bedroom floor.

Maybe it was wrong of him to think it, but Bradley didn't care.

Haunting melodies poured from your wine colored lips. They weaved through the crowd and flooded his ears. Bradley was hanging onto every word you sang. His mind wandered as he wondered if his name would sound just as pretty as your songs did when it tumbled from your lips as he brought you to the peak of pleasure.

You were absolutely fearless in the way you put on a show. You worked the room and had everyone captivated. Bradley hoped that one day, he'd be able to find out if you would put on a show just for him in the privacy of his bedroom.

God, you were so fucking beautiful up there. And he knows he probably looks like an absolute ass because he has been ignoring the rest of your friends for almost the entire forty-five minutes you've been on the stage, but he can't help it.

He's so awestruck by you and this part of your life. It's another piece of the puzzle that makes you so unique and so amazing to him.

You're smart, witty, beautiful, funny, and talented on more than one front. Bradley loves that he's learned something new about you.

He wants to learn more new things about you. He wants to add more pieces to the puzzle until he has the whole picture.

He would give anything to spent eternity figuring you out.

You announce the final song of your set list, a rock cover of "Bad Romance," and Bradley finds it ironic because he would take any kind of romance with you. Good or bad.

With this being the last song, you go wild. You release all your inhibitions as you move about the stage and command the room, just like you command the sky.

Bradley has to discreetly adjust himself through his jeans because he gets distracted by the way your necklaces move.

The layers of silver chains of various lengths with charms scattered throughout them hugged your neck in the best way. Bradley didn't realize he could be jealous of a few pieces of jewelry, but as he grips his glass of whiskey tighter, he finds himself longing to replace them with his hands. He just knows that you'd look so fucking beautiful with his long fingers wrapped around your throat while he fucked you like the good girl he knows you would be for him.

Just when he thought you couldn't surprise him anymore, that night, you prove him wrong. When the bridge of the song comes up, you switch to singing in French. French? Since when did you know another language?

Now he wanted to know if you were fluent in it, and if you were, would you talk dirty to him in it. Fuck, you were still a mystery to him, in the best way.

As the song came to an end, you hit your knees for the final high note, and the entire crowd jumped up and screamed for you, the Daggers included. Bradley isn't embarrassed to say that he was definitely the loudest.

After you and the rest of the band thanked everyone for coming out and bidded the audience farewell, Bradley watched you disappear behind a black curtain.

More filler music started up as the squad sat down and looked at each other.

"So, Hades moonlights as a rockstar." Coyote said, breaking the silence of the group.

"Would it be weird if I asked her to get me an autograph from her band mates?" Fanboy asked.

"I don't think so. I just can't believe she didn't tell us." Phoenix said as she finished her beer.

"We all have things that we don't tell everyone about. Maybe she was afraid we'd make fun of her or something. Plus, have you met some of us? A few members of our group aren't the best at respecting other people's feelings." Bob said as he and everyone stared directly at Jake.

"For the last time, I apologized to her! Jeez!" Jake said as he threw his hands up in defense.

.............

Once off the stage, you downed a bottle of water and panted to catch your breath.

"We were amazing tonight!" Derrick cheers as he puts his bass away. "Hades, you killed it with the vocals!" Trent compliments you.

"I'm just glad you didn't have to fight an audience member, I doubt your husband would have bailed you out of jail—again." You needle Trent.

"Oh my gosh, it was one time, and they dropped the charges." Trent huffed.

Lyla and Mariana laugh as they put their things away. "You guys want to get a drink? To celebrate a successful show?" Mariana asks. "Absolutely. Hades, if you keep this up, we might not ever let you go!" Lyla tells you as she slings an arm around your shoulder.

"Lyla, I told you, I'm just helping you our until you can find someone to replace Candice." You tell her.

Lyla shakes her head as the five of you head out of the backstage area and to the bar. You take a seat with your back to the crowd. A few patrons come up and speak to all of you, but none linger too long. You've just put your pomegranate margarita to your lips when you hear a familiar voice call, "Well what do we have here? If it ain't Hades."

You set your drink down and spin on your stool. You're shocked when you turn around and see all twelve of your friends and coworkers standing in front of you.

"Oh my gods, what are you guys doing here?" You ask them.

"This is what I had planned for my birthday." Fanboy tells you.

"Oh, Mick, I had no idea. You should have told me, and I could have gotten you a front row spot!" You tell him.

"You could have told us you were a rockstar." Phoenix says.

You don't have a chance to respond before Lyla says, "Well, aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Oh, sorry. Guys, this is Lyla, we were stationed together in Lemoore a few years ago. She was my wingman until she hung up her wings to be a mechanic. And this is her sister Mariana and Derrick and his husband Trent, and they are The Styx." You say.

"We are The Styx." Lyla corrects you.

After a few polite hellos, you turn to your squadron. "And guys, this is Fanboy, Payback, Halo, Omaha, Bob, Phoenix, Yale, Harvard, Fritz, Coyote, Hangman, and—Bradley." You say as you point out each one of them.

"Bradley—er—Rooster, is my new wingman." You tell your band mates.

"You are a lucky duck to be flying with her." Lyla tells Rooster. "She saved my ass several times."

"Don't let her fool you, Lyla had my back, too." You smile.

"So, Hades, how did you end up doing—this?" Bob asks you, never failing to address the elephant in the room.

"Lyla and I lived together in the barracks. We used to do karaoke on the weekends. She always played a little and decided she wanted to do music more seriously. Unfortunately, Lyla was in a training accident and shattered her left hip." You told them. You wince at that detail. It had been the one time that you weren't flying with her because an admiral had pulled you into a meeting.

"Not too long after Lyla's accident, I was transferred. We kept in touch, and she told me to call her if I was ever back in California." You told them.

"And I couldn't get back in a plane anymore after that, so I took to fixing them and playing guitar in my spare time. At an open mic night, Mariana and I met Derrick and Trent and Candice, our former lead singer. We hit it off, and The Styx was born." Lyla explains.

"But, Candice thought she was too good for us and moved to L.A. five months ago, " Mariana adds.

"Thankfully, Hades just happened to get station in San Diego. So, when she called me to catch up, I convinced her to do a show with us, and that's kind of led us here." Lyla finishes.

"Wow, that's insane." Payback says.

"Yeah, crazy." You shake your head, suddenly feeling on edge now that your work friends new more about your personal life. It wasn't that you were trying to hide this from them, but at the same time, you liked your privacy.

Secrets kept you safe

Bradley could tell that you were getting uncomfortable, so he tapped your knee to get your attention before grabbing your wrist and pulling you away from the crowd.

"You were amazing up there, Angel." He praises you as you tuck yourselves into a corner of the club.

"Thanks, maybe next time, you can join me, and we can hit them with some 'Great Balls of Fire.'" You laugh. Bradley chuckles.

A comfortable silence settles over the two of you. You both look at see the Daggers talking and drinking with your band mates.

"How did all of you get here?" You ask him.

"Fanboy got a party bus. Jake was recreating scenes from Magic Mike on the drive here when he was still half sober, I'm terrified to see what's going to happen on the way back." Bradley shutters.

"I didn't even get to have my drink, so I'm sober. I drove here, wanna ride home with me?" You offer him.

Bradley abso-fucking-lutely wanted to ride home with you. And then, when the two of you got home, he wanted to take you into his apartment, strip you down, and hear you sing for him in a different way. And he wanted you to sleep over so he could make you breakfast the next morning before he fucked you in his shower. However, he couldn't say that to you, so instead, he just said, "Yeah, Angel, that would be great."

The two of you quietly snuck out the back of the club. You had grabbed your things already. You made it to the car before Bradley, but instead of opening your door, you stood there, subconsciously waiting for him to do it. He smiled and opened the door and helped you in.

The drive back to San Diego was filled with playful banter, more singing, and flirty touches.

.............

Once you were back at your apartment complex, Bradley made sure to walk you to your door.

You wanted to invite him in, but it was late, and you were still high on adrenaline from performing, and you didn't trust yourself not to drag him to your bed. If you were going to do this with him, you were going to do it the right way.

So, you settled for a simple goodnight kiss on his cheek before tucking yourself inside your home.

After he said goodbye to you at your apartment door, Bradley bolted upstairs to his.

Tonight, he's thankful that he is your upstairs neighbor and that he has a corner unit where his bedroom doesn't share a wall with anyone.

Why? Because of the way your name sinfully falls from his lips while he touches himself and selfishly chases his release.

He's been hard for you all evening, and your flirty touches in your car on the ride home coupled with the way your soft lips felt on his cheek had him spiraling as he fists his cock.

He cums hard, spurts of it painting his hand and abs with hot white streaks. As he comes down from his high and cleans himself up, Bradley can't help but think about how his cum would look splattered on your thigh tattoo or dripping out of you. He groans, already hardening at the thought of it.

After quelling the fires of his desire with a cold shower, Bradley slips between the sheets of his bed and thinks of you and how he could make the two of you something more.

Taglist: @roosterscock @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @katieshook02 @desert-fern @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @sometimesanalice @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @alchemxx @gretagerwigsmuse @withahappyrefrain @lt-spork @multifandomlover4life @beccaanne814 @bradshawsbaby @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @roosterisdaddy36 @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @whatislovevavy @asshlyyyy @inkandarsenic @lillyrosenight @tomanybandstolove @jiminie-08 @dingochef @laracrofted

[itsascreambaby96]

Hiiii so I’m not to sure about your rules for request so I’m sorry if any of these cross any lines for that? (I have about two request you can choose whichever you like best!)

So the first one is an Eddie x Reader fic based off of the song, “The Sex is good” by Saving Abel, but maybe they do end up together in the end?

And the second one is ALSO an Eddie x reader based off the song, “18 and Life” by Skidrow. Perhaps reader and Eddie were dating or best friends with Bennifits, they get into a fight, Eddie ends the relationship, and shocker they don’t wrap it before they tapped it! So about ten or so years later Eddie runs into reader and his kid (he doesn’t know it’s HIS kid) and is upset she moved on because he still likes her, and yea you decide how it goes🫶

A/N: I went with the second one. I loved the song! Kinda fits Eddie so well. I know kids are not everyones cup of tea but I love this kind of trope. I changed some small parts. I hope you like it😊

Warnings; ANGST! fluff, happy ending. Mentions of pregnancy, mentions of sex, profanities, name calling, not proof read

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

18 and Life

You knew you were in love with Eddie before you became friends. He didn't know of course. Then one night you two got a little drunk and ended up having sex. The talk the next day was awkward to say the least. You two swore it would never happen again. But a week later it did and suddenly you found yourself in a friends with benefits situation.

It wasn't how you expect things to go. But you told yourself it was enough. Eddie always said he didn't want a relationship. Said he wanted his freedom and stuff. It broke your heart but you understood. And the sex was great. You two worked fantastic together in the bedroom.

You loved snuggling up afterwards, Eddie having his post-sex cigarette.

Eddie found a job after he graduated, he's a mechanic now. And he was good at what he was doing. The pay wasn't the best but it was good enough for him.

He still made some side money with his deals. He didn't do them much anymore just here and there when he needed some extra cash.

Sometimes you asked him if he had any dreams for his future, which he always declined. Joking that this right here was all he needed for now. You hide it from him but it made your heart skip a beat every single time. Hope bubbling up that one day you'd be enough for him. That you are enough for him.

That little bubble was fragile and it was only a matter of time before it would burst.

Your friends told you this was a bad idea, all worried that one of you, mainly you, would get hurt. You waved your hand, denying that this would happen.

Yet here you were now. Eddie had just pulled out of you and laid down next to you, lighting his cigarette. You were ready to snuggle up to him when he pushed you away.

Confused you looked at him. "What's wrong?"

With a deep exhale, Eddie blew out some smoke of the cigarette. "We have to stop this."

You blinked, confused and a weird feeling settling in your stomach.

"Haha very funny." The chuckle sounded worried even to your own ears.

"I'm serious." He got up, his cigarette hanging from his lips as he pulled on his underwear and pants.

Suddenly you were feeling insecure, wrapping the blanket around yourself. The pit in your stomach grew.

"Eddie sit down, come on we can talk about this. If I did something wrong, I-I can change and we can go on like before." You hated how your voice trembled, how desperate you sounded.

"You did nothing wrong. It's just over." He didn't even look at you. No emotion in his voice. Like you meant nothing to him.

"No. At least give me a reason. I deserve as much don't I?"

"I met someone. Is that what you wanna hear?" The harshness with which he spoke made you flinch. He never spoke to you like this.

"You met someone...?" You could feel your heart crack at this. Surely he wasn't serious.

"Yes. And it's getting serious. So we need to stop this." He pulled his shirt over his head.

"You said you weren't looking for a relationship." Yor voice was trembling even more now and you tried to hold in the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

He didn't look at you and his silence confirmed what you already knew deep down.

"... You just didn't want a relationship with me..." You only whispered, and more silence from him followed. Your heart felt like it was wrapped up by a fist that was squeezing so hard it hurt.

"How long have you been seeing this woman?" You gave up holding in your tears, there was no point to safe your dignity now anyways.

"A few weeks." Eddie put on his shoes. The way he treated this whole situation, how he treated you, it made you angry.

"A few weeks?! And you still though Hey why not play a little bit more with her feelings? At least I have warm pussy to stick my dick into before I have a better one?!" Angry and sad tears were streaming down your face and you quickly put on some underwear and a shirt.

"Hey now that's not what I said!" He was getting defensive.

"No but you sure as hell act like this was exactly your thought process!"

"So what if it was? This was only meant to be sex anyways remember?!"

"Fuck you! Get out of my apartment!"

"Gladly!" He took his keys that were on your bedside table and left, slamming the door on his way out.

That's when you broke down. You slide to the floor, louds sobs, that were wracking through your whole body, escaped you. How naive you were to think that Eddie could love you. The whole night you spend crying on your bedroom floor. And most of your next day you stayed in bed.

At one point Steve and Robin came over as they had heard from Eddie what had happened.

Steve was angry but Robin was livid. She threatened to cut off his dick for you, which only earner her a half hearted smile. You were really broken, and it broke their hearts to see you like this. You looked so small and fragile in your bed that day. They tried to comfort you as best as they could. You would be forever grateful for their help

That is why, two months later you were in Robin's bathroom, crying again. And again it was because of Eddie Munson.

A knock on the bathroom door made you flinch.

"It's been 10 minutes. Can you please come out? You are driving us crazy here" It was Robin, Steve probably next to her.

You originally planned a sleepover for tonight but when you were feeling sick all morning for the past week you had bought a pregnancy test, taking with you. You knew you would need the support. And you were right. The two pink lines confirmed your suspicion.

As you opened the door, and Robin and Steve saw your red, puffy and wet face they knew. Steve was the first to hug you, almost crushing your bones.

"I swear I'm gonna chop his dick off for real this time!" This time it did make you laugh a little. Steve guided you to the sofa and you three sat down.

"So what are you planning to do?" Steve's voice was soothing and warm. Like a soft blanket around you.

"I have no idea. I just found a job a town over but I can't just show up there pregnant!" You buried your face in your hands. This was all such a mess.

Robin slowly took your hands away from your face, smiling at you softly. "We are here for you. And if we have to move with you we will."

"Wait what?" But Steve was silened with a look from Robin making you giggle a little.

" What I am trying to say: We are the three musketeers-"

"Since when do have a name?"

"And we will get through this." Robin ignored Steve, making him roll his eyes at her. But he smiled at you.

"She is right. We might not have much but we have each other yeah?"

You were crying again. They were really the best friends you could hope for. You were hugging them close thanking them over and over again.

The movie night was still a success and at the end of it you decided to keep the baby.

You still moved to the next town and took the job. They were kind enough to still keep you even though you were pregnant.

Robin and Steve came over almost every weekend, helping you set up the nursery and taking care of you too.

Then you had your beautiful baby girl. She completely turned your world upside down but in the best way possible. You never thought you could love someone so much. You would do anything for her. You named her Amelia. She was the sweetest little child ever.

She had everyone wrapped around her little finger the moment they met her. Robin and Steve fought over who could hold her first, which made you laugh and your heart swell even more with love. You knew that even without her dad she would be loved so much.

Now 5 years later you were back in Hawkins, visiting Steve and his fiancée, for their engagement party. Your other friends were going to be there too. You were happy to see them again. Some of them you haven't seen since you left.

You were late already because your adorable mini you, told you half way through the car ride, that she forgot the picture she drew for Steve and made you turn around.

Now you were finally there. You congratulated Steve and his fiancée, who you met before and liked so much!

You were getting something to eat from the buffet, keeping an eye out for your little girl.

"I didn't expect to see you here." That smooth voice made you freeze. You haven't heard that voice since that fateful night. You turned around slowly. There he stood in front of you. Eddie didn't look different at all. His eyes still as mesmerizing as you remembered. Still his messy mop of hair and that charming smile still made your knees week.

"Hey." Your voice was breathy.

"Hey." Eddie kept his charming smile.

"You look great. Wow I haven't seen you since.."

"Yeah..." There was an awkward silence. Eddie looked over your figure. You were as beautiful as the day he lost you, which he knew was his own fault and he regretted it every day.

"Listen, we should talk sometime there are-" Before he could finish his sentence someone interrupted him.

"Mommy!" And with a jump Amelia was in your arms talking animatedly about her game she played with her favourite aunty Robin. Eddie's smile froze. The little girl called you mommy. He was to late.

"Sweetie, Mommy was talking to someone. It is rude to interrupt."

"I'm sorry mommy."

"It's ok. Sorry what were you saying Eddie?"

"Never mind. So this is your daughter?" You could tell that his mood dropped. You always knew him better than the back of your hand.

Still you replied. "Yes this is Amelia. Amelia this is Eddie. He's an old... Friend."

Your daughter gave Eddie one of her dazzling smiles. "Hello!" Eddie gave her a soft smile in return but his eyes looked pained. "Hello fair princess." It made her giggle.

"I like him mommy. He thinks I'm a princess."

"Yeah I heard. Why don't you tell Aunt Robin that you are a princess now?" With a soft smile and a kiss to her head you set her down and she ran of yelling for her aunty. When you looked at Eddie his face was whiped off of all emotions.

"So did you bring her father here too?" His tone had a bite to it which made you raise an eyebrow.

"No I didn't." It wasn't a lie. You didn't bring him. Eddie came himself.

"What about you? Still got that girlfriend of yours?" If he wanted to be like this so could you.

"No it... It didn't work out." His eyes looked at the glass of champagne he held, not daring to look at you.

"Are you still working at this car workshop?"

"No. There's this other workshop I work at now. Pays better you know?"

"Sounds great."

"Yeah.." Another awkward silence followed. Amelia called you over.

"Guess duty calls for you."

"This little lady knows how to keep me busy. But it was nice talking to you Eddie." Your smile was genuine, which made Eddie's heart clench. He watched you walk over to your daughter, thinking how this could have been his and not some other guys child if he didn't fuck up. He downed his drink and went to grab another glass. He intended to get wasted tonight, wallowing in self pity. He ended up sleeping in Steve's guest room.

Eddie had a big hangover and definitely needed some aspirin. As he walked down the stairs he saw Steve in the kitchen.

"Hello sleeping beauty."

"Suck my ass Harrington" Eddie was never a morning person, the hangover only adding to his foul mood.

Steve didn't care, he was used to Eddie's moods.

"What made you drink that much? Thought you wanted to stay sober after what happened last time." Steve was sipping his coffee, watching Eddie, who took some medicine against his headache and then poured his own cup of coffee.

"Yeah well when you see the love of your life moving on without you and having a fucking kid with another man we can talk." He took a big gulp of the burning liquid.

Steve furrowed his brows. "Who are you talking about?"

"Seriously?" Eddie gave him a look.

Steve knew you haven't told Eddie that the kid was his.

"He made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me. So he doesn't need to know." That were your words back then. And Steve agreed with you back then. That was before he knew Eddie's feelings for you. Now Steve was deep in thought. Should he tell Eddie that the kid was his? Or that you still thought about Eddie and haven't had a boyfriend since. "Who wants a woman who already had a child, Steve?" That was your reasoning but he knew you were still hung up on Eddie, even after all this time.

"Careful Harrington. If you think too hard your brain might explode cause it's not used to you thinking at all." Eddie teased.

"She doesn't have anybody." That made Eddie perk up.

"She doesn't?" Steve shook his head at this.

"What kind of man leaves his girlfriend behind when she is pregnant?" Eddie got mad at this man, not knowing that it was actually him. Steve inwardly rolled his eyes.

"You should talk to her."

"This isn't a movie Steve. This bullshit doesn't work."

"Just try."

"She probably has no time for me and my bullshit anyways."

"Just try it!"

"Besides she has a child. She has other priorities."

"Oh my god Eddie the kid is yours!" Both Steve's and Eddie's eyes widen.

"What?" Eddie's head was spinning. He had a child. A daughter. With you.

"Shit I wasn't supposed to tell you..."

"The kid is mine?"

Steve rubber his temple and nodded.

"Why the hell didn't she tell me?! I had a right to know!"

"Oh yeah totally after you told her you didn't want a relationship with her. While getting into a relationship with another woman."

"I was young and stupid ok? I've changed now."

Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, last night was an accident. You know I don't drink anymore. Can you just tell me where she is staying?"

With a sigh he told Eddie that you were living a town over now, giving him your address. Eddie has never been so fast in his life, running out of the door and into his van and driving as fast as possible.

When he arrived he sat in his car thinking about all the possibilities how this could go wrong. But when he saw you coming out of the building with your daughter, knowing the little girl was his, he got out of the car and went over to you.

Your eyes grew ten sizes when you saw him.

"Eddie what are you-"

"Please can I just talk?" You could tell he was nervous so you nodded for him to continue. Amelia looked at you two curiously. She liked Eddie, he looked funny and called her a princess.

"I fucked up back then. I didn't realise how in love with you I was when I had you. Only when I lost you I did. I thought I liked this other woman but when I was with her all I could think about was you. I compared her to you every single time. She didn't laugh like you. You know that full belly laugh that you have that is contagious. And her eyes never light up when she saw something she liked. Like when I entered the room your eyes always light up. And her smile never made my knees week, not like yours did. Once I realised what a huge mistake I made I immediately broke up with her and went to see you to apologize but you were gone. And I never got to know where you went. Steve and Robin really made sure of that. And I started drinking because I couldn't live with the fact that I lost the best thing that's ever happened to me because I was a stupid idiot. I'm clean now. And when I saw you yesterday I was so happy and thought maybe I can make things finally right and get a second chance. But then I saw you had a daughter and I saw all my chances go down the drain because clearly you had moved on. And I got so sad and started drinking again. I know that's not the point and not your fault. And now Steve had told me that this child is actually mine, which I know he shouldn't have told me cause he promised you, please don't be mad at him. But it made me have some kind of hope that maybe just maybe not all is lost yet."

You were listening intendly to what he had to say. So many information.

"What I am trying to say is, I am sorry that I have been such an asshole to you back then. And I love you. I always have. I was just tok stupid to realise it. And I am hoping that maybe, there is a tiny chance that you still love me too."

You didn't know what to think yet. This was messing with your head. Your emotions all over the place.

"You know how long I've waited to hear you say this? And now that I do hear them I don't know what to feel."

Eddie's heart sank at your words.

"Eddie it took me years to get over you and now you show up here saying you still love me? What am I supposed to do now? You are messing everything up again..."

"I'm sorry... I just thought... Nevermind. I didn't think. Like so often. I will just get out of your hair." Eddie's voice was strained and there were tears in his eyes. Before he could move you pressed your lips against his though. Eddie's eyes grew wide, the tears streaming down his face now, mixing with your own. You were holding onto him for dear life. Eddie got back to his senses and kissed you back with all he's got. He was never letting go of you again.

The giggle next to you two out of your little bubble, making you part.

"This is not me forgiving you. This is gonna take some time. But I am willing to try if you are."

"I am! I so am!" Eddie gave a teary smile. "Thank you."

You looked at your daughter. "You know how mommy said he is a friend?"

She nodded with big eyes.

"Well he is a special friend. He is actually your daddy." Her eyes got even wider.

"I have a daddy?" You nodded softly and Eddie knelt down to her level.

"Is that ok for you princess?"

She looked at Eddie intensely. Studying his features. Eddie grew a tad worried when she didn't say anything. Then a big smile broke out on her face and she threw herself at Eddie who catched her, crying again.

"I have a daddy! I will keep him forever!" That made you both laugh. Amelia hugged Eddie as close as she could.

"Will you be coming with us to the park?" She put on her best puppy dog eyes and Eddie's heart melted at that.

"I will go with you anywhere you want princess."

Her cheer put a big smile on Eddie's face. And so the three of you went to the park together.

"What's an asshole by the way?"

Your eyes grew wide and Eddie gave you a sheepish smile. The same look Amelia sometimes had when she did something she knew she wasn't supposed to. You shook your head, laughing to yourself.

"You are already a bad influence on her."

You knew this was going to take time but it was going to be all worth it, you were sure of it.

[vmures]

No Skip Albums: Tag Game ✨️

Thank you @oldefashioned for the tag! 💜 Music is one of my favorite things.

Rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums.

These are listed in no particular order. Pretty much just as I think of them.

Beyoncé - Cowboy Carter

This is a phenomenal album all the way through and I've been listening to it a whole lot. I love the various music traditions that get interwoven throughout. It's truly a genre defying album while also being very much a country album. It also reminds me of my own Louisianan roots.

2. Taylor Swift - Midnights

Taylor's got a lot of great albums and compelling songs but this one really drew me in and I can just listen to it on repeat for hours.

3. Tracy Chapman - Collection

It was super hard to pic a single album by Tracy Chapman cause many of hers fit this tag game for me. But collection is one I absolutely love. So many great songs. Tracy is one of my favorite artists. Her voice is so beautiful and powerful and her lyrics so thoughtful and potent. It's music that just speaks to my soul.

4. Natalie Merchant - Tigerlily

I probably drove my high school roommates (I went to boarding school for two years) nuts with this one. And all these years later it remains one of my favorite albums. There is something so soothing about it for me.

5. Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstacy

Another one from my high school years. It's hard to believe this one is celebrating it's 30th anniversary this year. Where on earth did the time go? This one has so many heartfelt songs that I still love to sing along with.

6. Various Artists - The Crow Original Movie Soundtrack

Love the comic, the movie, and this soundtrack. My favorite song on it is still Jane Siberry's It Can't Rain All the Time, but all the songs are fantastic.

8. Fleetwood Mac - Greatest Hits

Another one from my teen years. Lol. I listened to this one so many times I nearly wore my cassette out. 🤣 It ended up being my soundtrack for the entire Last Herald Mage trilogy and to this day when I hear some of the songs I think of those books. Still a fantastic album and still one I really love.

9. Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams

This is another artist I had a hard time picking a single album for. 🤣 Ultimately this one won because it is one of my favorite of his albums. If you can't tell, I have a fondness for well written lyrics and singer-songwriters.

10. Yoko Kano and the Seatbelts - Cowboy Bebop Remixes: Music for Freelance

The entire soundtrack for Cowboy Bebop is amazing, but I have a particular fondness for these remixes. I still love putting this one on and jamming out to it and I enjoy the little segments of Radio Free Mars we get as well.

So there we have it, ten albums I adore and will happily listen to on repeat with no songs skipped.

If you are interested in playing along, please consider yourself tagged! I love learning more about what others enjoy!

Til next time. See you, space cowboy.

[inflammatory]

The 80s. Everyone was young and quick. Not a single album missed. Then the decade passed and some weird vibes got into them and right before Bruce Dickinson left to take some laps making mid solo material they put out FEAR OF THE DARK, a toss-up between the perfect classic maiden guns and some weird bar rock type shit that you could probably safely fuck to without tearing a muscle. Strangely enough, in my opinion this combination made for the perfect ENTRY LEVEL GATEWAY ALBUM, especially for listeners who haven’t yet found the sound of metal quite their cup of tea. Opens with a typical skin ripping gallop track, finds its arguable apex with six minutes of AFRAID TO SHOOT STRANGERS, slowburning into the most hypnotic melodic riffs they ever did. Gems like JUDAS BE MY GUIDE are hidden at the back of a slightly inflated tracklist. They make you listen to the absolute skip that is WEEKEND WARRIOR before you even get to the historical title track. Not Maiden’s best. But the magic that is there still strikes awe. I believe it was for FOTD that they picked up Janick Gers on guitar, who contributes some really fantastic freewheeling lead slop. Think solos that sound like he’s being chased by a murderer simultaneously.

Settling into their sound, a listener must of course sink teeth into the satanic panic classic THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST. A very chewy forty minutes. This was 1982 where Dickinson, the voice you hear on most of the relevant albums, just arrived. And he immediately displays his chops. See title track for one iconic blood curdling shriek. Maiden makes quick work of this album, and saves their very best for last with HALLOWED BE THY NAME, the song that personally first pulled me into the band. They make seven minutes feel like two. To get there, however, Iron Maiden has written some silly shit that they will first subject you to (22 ACACIA AVENUE, skippable). Many members of the band contribute lyrics, but Steve Harris, behind both the band and the bass gallop that made it, oftentimes writes songs that veer comedic.

So we get to SOMEWHERE IN TIME, another rich 80s classic album that keeps gateway listenability by being sweet on melodies and having no overly outrageous Steve Harris lyric moments. On ALEXANDER THE GREAT he does have Dickinson read off a Wikipedia page, ostensibly. But it’s amazing either way. This album also sports WASTED YEARS, considered Maiden mainstream for good reason.

But forget entry level listening. We want to cut to the very pinnacle of Iron Maiden output. Rest and relaxation after 1986’s SOMEWHERE IN TIME creates SEVENTH SON OF A SEVENTH SON in 1988. The idea of a concept album they waltzed with previously appears fully realised, operatically spotless, SYNTHS. There is no Gers slop here. This is the crystallised daddy of modern prog. Dreamy but white hot. Back to back to back, they put CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS, THE EVIL THAT MEN DO, and the ten minute title track together. It is for this reason that the first acoustic guitars crawled out from the ocean and evolved pickups and tone switches.

…You could probably also listen to Powerslave. They’re quick on that one too.

For later there is the earlier KILLERS. This has Paul Di’Anno before they swapped him for Dickinson. He’s got a grit to his voice that Dickinson doesn’t have, which works perfect for the songs they were putting out. See MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE, one which should catapult this album to classic status by itself. I hear the basis for a lot of modern J-rock/metal in this one. Couldn’t explain it to you, but it’s in the melody. And I honestly love the Di’Anno sound. I would’ve put him with guitarist Gers for maximum impact. Too bad they’re star-crossed by a decade. Fun fact about Di’Anno is that Rob Halford of Judas Priest once tried to hit. He did not succeed.

End notes: Yeah, the Trooper is good and you’ve probably heard it, but it’s carrying its album.

[shamandrummer]

Music as a Political Act

Cree singer Sandy Scofield sees her music as a pathway for raising awareness and celebrating culture.

Sandy Scofield is a multi-award winning composer, musician, musical director, singer, songwriter and performer. She has studied classical, jazz, African, Indonesian gamelan and electro-acoustic music. Leader of the all female Cree band of singers, Iskwew, Sandy started making music before she can even remember and has played and sung in many bands over the years. From Cajun to rock, classical and folk, the foundation she had before coming into Cree Aboriginal music incorporated a wide variety of sounds and instruments. She plays piano and guitar in addition to being a singer.

Scofield came to Aboriginal music later in life, embracing her heritage through song. She says, "I went to the Banff Centre for the Arts in 1995 and did a ten-week intensive with Sadie Buck from Six Nations in Canada -- she had this residency for urban women who grew up without oral tradition and she brought in women elders from all around Turtle Island (North America) to teach them their traditions, songs, and song traditions."

When asked whether she feels that what Iskwew does is political, Sandy said, "We have many educated people holding their PhDs and working as doctors and this and that who are changing how society views First Nations people, but largely people still think of them as the drunks down on Skid Road, and that's all part of… So, in answer to your question -- Yeah."

What we're doing is politically showing people the pride in our culture. The fact that we come out and wear regalia, just to show very basic cultural teachings, we're trying to present through the songs. I have a floating group of women based on who's available that comes with me, but some of the other women who've gigged with me are just as vocal as I am onstage. It isn't like I'm leading every song and I'm talking all the time. Some of the other women get in there and talk and talk about teachings and talk about what we're wearing and talk about our role as women in our culture and how we're esteemed.

So that's what we do, and when we get to go play international festivals it's really important because, you know, one of the girls that sings with me, she went to Italy and some guy said to her, 'Where are you from?' and she said, 'Well, I'm Cree Indian from Canada,' and he was just aghast, he was saying, 'No. They were all extinct. They don't exist,' and she's going 'You're crazy!' You know?

But there's crazy ideas out there, so especially if we're on the international stage, we're trying to show the very best of who we are. And in Canada, half of our work is in what we call Indian Country, which is all of the country except dominant society doesn't see us. So we perform for other native people or we perform for dominant society, and so when we perform for dominant society, it's the same thing again. We're trying to show the really fantastic things about our cultures, our collective culture which really concerns community, egalitarianism to a certain extent, just pride, culture, the interconnectedness of all life and that we’re interconnected with one another -- things like that."

[herrlindemann]

Rock Hard - October 1997, interview with Paul

There's no question: Rammstein are definitely THE winners of the hour. The first album 'Herzeleid' is about to go platinum, the singles 'Engel' and 'Du hast' from the second album romped about in the top ten for weeks, and it was foreseeable that the long-awaited album 'Sehnsucht' would also have a huge impact . So Rammstein are well on the way to becoming the most successful German metal band of the 90's - but how are the guys dealing with the new situation?

I can still remember well when I walked past the Motor Music stand at PopKomm two years ago and I was blasted with fat guitar riffs that didn't quite fit the usual program of the Hamburg label. That was a new signing called Rammstein, I was told at the time when I was curious, and somehow I had the feeling that something big was coming our way. This impression was reinforced a few months later by the great debut album 'Herzeleid', on which the band went musically new ways and lyrically wonderfully irreverent. The best counterpoint to the burgeoning PC wave. With their fantastic, effective live shows, they were able to win more and more fans for themselves from tour to tour, but nobody would have thought that they would achieve such a huge breakthrough.

Today everyone is talking about Rammstein, but guitarist Paul Landers, who is sitting across from me, still seems quite relaxed and completely unimpressed by all the fuss that is happening around him. Nevertheless, at the beginning of our conversation, the question arises as to what has changed for Rammstein since the Top 3 hit 'Engel'.

« Actually not that much, because what looks like an overnight success for many people was a very long way for us, which we took step by step. It's like meeting a child once a year and marveling at how big they've grown while the parents don't even notice the child growing because they see it every day. On the other hand, we probably haven't even realized how successful we are at the moment. My phone rang last night and I have a woman on the other end of the line who couldn’t believe that she actually spoke to Paul von Rammstein and that I’m still in the phone book as normal. I may have to change it soon. I just think we're still down to earth and that's not going to change as things get bigger. »

I'm guessing though that mass and mainstream media interest has skyrocketed following the chart success...

« Yes, but since we are six members of the band it doesn't make any difference to us because we can split everything up. And it doesn't matter whether you're talking to Der Spiegel or a school newspaper, the questions are usually the same. »

By the way, some of your older fans were not at all enthusiastic about the fact that your record company pushed the release of 'Sehnsucht' from spring to the end of August for marketing reasons...

"Wait, it wasn't the record company's decision — we're responsible for everything, whether it's covers, videos or singles. We just do what we want, but of course let the record company advise us. Things like Aerosmith, who had to re-record some songs because the company didn't like the first versions, won't happen with us. »

But you must have felt a certain form of pressure, too — for example, the desire of the fans, who simply expect certain things from you, like ambiguous lyrics or elaborate shows, because that's one of your trademarks. You could theoretically run out of ideas...

« That's why we're holding back a bit at the moment, because we don't want to have to land a helicopter on stage next year to meet the expectations of the fans. We still have plenty of ideas, but we're only implementing them gradually so that we still have something up our sleeves. »

On your last tour, did you also have the phenomenon that occurs more frequently with chart breakers, that there were people in the audience who only knew the song 'Engel' from radio and television, but were not familiar with the old material?

« Nope, not at all, because we're not a single band like Fool's Garden, who suddenly appear out of nowhere and of which you actually only know the one song. In my opinion, apart from the title track, 'Herzeleid' only contains good songs, none of which are really suitable as a single, and it's similar with the new disc. 'Engel' pushed us like a fresh battery, but that didn't destroy the whole car. »

I recently re-read the interview I had with Paul shortly after the release of 'Herzeleid', but at the time he said Rammstein had no plans to roam the clubs for months trying to break out by force. But now everything turned out differently, because Rammstein were actually damn often on the road...

"Hm, you're wrong. We've been in the business for quite a long time and accordingly make sure that we don't get crushed. We're often on the road, but our tours are usually quite short, because our life shouldn't consist exclusively of concerts. If other bands enjoy playing up to 200 gigs over the course of a year, that's up to them — we definitely take our breaks and don't let them rush us around. We're just six friends, and when friends see each other every day over a long period of time, it really gets to you. »

Something different: On a recent trip to Sweden, I noticed that your songs are sometimes already being played in clubs there, and you've also had numerous gigs in countries like Belgium, Holland and Sweden. Looks like you're slowly starting to conquer other countries too — despite the language barrier!

«Of course, because at some point we will reach our limits in Germany. We're also excited about new tasks, because actually it's pretty boring to tour as a headliner. It's much more exciting to start all over again in new territory where nobody knows us. We also asked people after the gigs if they would like it better if we sang in English, but most of them think we should stick to German lyrics. After all, music is global and the reactions are often a bit reserved at the beginning, but after a few songs the audience is dancing. We definitely want to tackle the American market in the near future. »

Not a bad idea. In any case, I could well imagine that the Americans are crazy about Rammstein's music - and with such a show you run into open doors there anyway.

Change of subject: The songs for 'Sehnsucht' were all written before the big breakthrough came in the form of 'Engel'. Accordingly, the pressure should not have been too great. Don't you pee your pants thinking about the songwriting for the third disc? After all, you then have to top an absolutely successful album...

« The pressure can't get any bigger, because the first disc was definitely a great success for us. In principle, the songwriting for the next record will be more relaxed for us because we now know that everything will be fine as long as we only listen to ourselves. We've learned that things only ever go bad for us when we let other people talk us into it or when not all band members are present at the creation. So it's our job to make sure that despite all the stuff that's pouring down on us, the band's chemistry is still right. »

Was it an advantage for you that you played many of the songs from the second album live before the studio date?

"Yes and no. The advantage was certainly that we could test the reactions of the fans to the piece. The downside is that the more times you play a song live, the sooner you get fed up with it and have to start composing new material again. »

In the photo session for 'Sehnsucht', Rammstein worked with Gottfried Helnwein, a well-known and respected photo artist who, however, has recently been the subject of negative talk because of his alleged membership in the Schientology skete. Has this collaboration had any negative effect on Rammstein?

"Unfortunately not," laughs Paul. « I wouldn't think it was so bad if we were also put a little in the Scientology corner, which maybe isn't so far-fetched after all...»

The wide grin on the guitarist's face shows that this statement is not meant too seriously, but what’s the saying? Any promotion is good promotion!

"We spoke to Helnwein again after that ominous article appeared in 'Stern'," Paul picks up the thread again, " and I can only say one thing: if the 'Stern' article about Helnwein contains as much truth as their article about Rammstein, then Helnwein is a CDU politician... In addition, the book that the story was primarily about will not appear at all because it is completely far-fetched. Some reports in 'Stern' are apparently as fictitious as stories in 'Neue Spezial'.”

Let's address two critical issues again: Recently, photographers have had to view the photos at your concerts, which gives your management the right, so to speak, and only release certain pics for publication. It's a practice that's especially familiar from big British bands, with the difference, however, that under German law their contracts aren't valid anyway and you can ignore them. However, your management could actually control the photo selection and also use the image material, e.g. from our photographers, for your own purposes free of charge. Why this harassment?

« One of the reasons for this action was - believe it or not - that we don't have any live pics of us in the archive at all, even though we played quite a lot. We also wanted to prevent a picture of Till with the burning coat from being printed in every newspaper. In any case, it's not about wanting to prevent the publication of image material, which we might not have been very good at, or anything like that. We've already considered whether we shouldn't do the same with articles about us, but this doesn't apply to the rock magazines, which thank God only print what we really say, but rather to the countless scraps of paper that sometimes pull unbelievable nonsense out of our fingers that we never uttered. The 'Stern' wrote, for example, that at Rammstein gigs only 30- to 4-year-old mustaches with checkered shirts and beer bellies are in the audience. It's quite funny, but it gets on your nerves in the long run. But actually we can live with all suspicions quite well - as long as we are not put in the right corner. »

The issue should be over by now...

"Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that. Of course, everyone who now knows us personally has long since understood that we have nothing to do with it, but thanks to our success, new media are constantly approaching us, and we have to start all over again with the educational work. »

What remains is your quarrel with J.B.O. — what did the boys actually do to you that you or your record company make life so difficult for the boys?

« There is actually no dispute with J.B.O. — we don't think the matter is as bad as it is currently being portrayed by all sides. »

Well, at least J.B.O. sign a cease and desist letter and re-record the track 'A Little Peace'...

« I think it was just that we weren't credited with the music, although it's clearly our samples that J.B.O. have used there. Okay, I also feel a bit guilty because I may not have paid enough attention to this topic, but with the current situation you lose track here and there. If I always ironed out management or record company mistakes, I would go insane. Someone from J.B.O. called me privately, after which I got in touch with our record company and told them to please come to an amicable agreement with the band. If you do a cover version, you just have to register it beforehand. For example, we wanted to change the 'Das Model' by Kraftwerk covers and the lyric to " She's a whore and she's good-looking ". Kraftwerk didn't agree with that, and that was the end of the matter. J.B.O. didn't ask beforehand, which isn't a bad thing, because if another band plays a song of yours, it means that your song must be really good. One day someone called us and wanted to change a line of text from the track 'Rammstein' to "Rammstein - bad breath is in the air" - as long as he reports it, we have no problem with it. I know how difficult it is to finish a record and I'm really sorry that J.B.O. had to stamp a part of their CD because of this. In the future I'll make sure that something like this doesn't happen again, but of course I can't take care of everything — after all, I also have to make music on the side...  »

[harrison-abbott]

Most of us were young and almost

All of them were loud. You were by

Far the quietest and thrown into this place

Of mayhem. With the steam and shouting

And the radio music, and the different

Accents whizzing about. The job was dull

But it was easy and there was never a non-

Eventful shift … You learned how other

People talk in a manic environment and

You learned to raise your voice a bit.

It was hard at first but you got there.

You met other people who were interested

In music and you got jamming with them.

You met girls and learned how to speak

To them and you’d always been super shy

Around that lot and so this was beneficial.

You learned how to stay stuff that was

Funny, and how to avoid saying things

Which were mean. You wrote songs on

The side in between this and university.

Almost every night you’d head out on

The town and drink the beers and you’d

Go home at 3 a.m. and the bakery was

Open with its yellow windows. And you’d

Be able to head into work again without

Being comatose. All of the colleagues

Were ace. There was loud bantering Dave,

And mischievous Steven, and foul-mouthed

Tracy, and big chubby friendly Calum,

And flirtatious Joe, and half-serious half-

Fantastic Pawel, and mentally ill Katia,

And stick-thin Lewis who played electric

Guitar and who joined me on stage; and

Irish Laura with the dyed hair who became

His girlfriend; and Katie with the ginger

Hair and baritone voice; and Scott who

Was totally useless with his job and

Never put any work in but everybody

Loved him because he was funny. That

Was all back in 2014. And I’m remembering

It now because it was ten years ago this

Summer. And the World Cup was on in

Brazil. And they gave all of the staff these

Little mini Brazil tops. Just cheap things.

That was the good thing about soccer.

It brought cultures together. And even

Though it was only a part time minimum

Wage job cleaning dishes it was fun and fine.

Was a real lively environment in which to work.

…………………………………………………

And the World Cup ended and then it slipped into

The autumn and things began to change. First thing

Was that Steven left the kitchen, and a lot of

The banter died with that. He was replaced with

Zoe, who was okay at first. But she got heavily

Overworked because a few other chefs left

Too, so she had to work about 70 hours a week.

She got ratty and she took it out on the colleagues.

And Joe left, and that took a lot of the humour

With him; and the manager friendly Calum

Was replaced with another manager who changed

A lot of the rules. And then the manager above

Him made us close an hour later at night, whilst

Also cutting our hours. So we had less money

And we had to work longer into the night.

And then loud bantering Dave left too.

And so it was just me, Zoe, and a handful

Of others in the kitchen. We had to put up

With Zoe’s wrath, whenever she felt like it.

Lewis and Laura were on the floor staff team.

Lewis got her pregnant. She went four months

Without knowing she was pregnant and then

They were shocked when they found out and

They didn’t feel they were equipped enough

To keep the baby so they decided to give it

Up for adoption. And many of that old 2014

Team left the city altogether. So they weren’t

Even around for pints in the evening. Those

That had replaced the old team weren’t into

Hanging out after the shifts. Lewis and Laura

Had the baby and then they passed it on for

Adoption, and then they left the city too.

And so it was pretty much me left in the joint.

That would have been in the autumn of 2015.

It’s crazy how much can change in a year.

Whereas I had been cheerful going into

Work the previous summer it was all but

Miserable now. I stayed on (miraculously,

Now that I think about it) for another couple

Of years, only because I needed the money

And because I was still studying. And there

Were a few colleagues who came in who

Were sound enough. On the floor team,

A few other cats who were nice folks.

It’s just that that ’14 period was never

Reincarnated. Lost forever. I miss it.

[thecatwars]

Books that I read in April 2024

I'm back! This post is a few days late because I was in the French countryside and my access to wifi wasn't too great. Anyway, I wasn't planning on reading the first book on this month's list as I had put it on hold at my university's library February and it was predicted that I would be able to read by July. It was a nice and unexpected surprise to be able to start off my month by reading The Gifts of Imperfection. After that, I decided that for this month I wanted to focus on reading books from my physical TBR and Kindle Unlimited TBR (The Ten Thousand Doors of January has been sitting on my nightstand since November!).

As always, my brief reviews contain no spoilers.

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown: I've been meaning to read a Brené Brown book ever since I was a teacher and after about five years, the moment to read it finally arrived. This book does a good job of organizing how I feel about self-love and self-worthiness. Although there are a couple of things that I didn't quite agree with her in her book, I appreciate how everything ties together with three words: compassion, courage, and connection. I'm definitely interested in reading more of Brené Brown's books. This is a book that I borrowed from my university's library and I plan on buying this book. I gave this book a 5/5.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January: I started reading this book later last year but couldn't get into it since I wasn't in the right headspace to read it. After about spending five months on my nightstand, waiting to be picked up, I decided to give this book a second chance and started from the beginning. I am pleased to say that giving this book the second chance that it deserved was the right way to go! This book is a beautiful story about finding one’s self and having the courage to write your own story. January, our main character, is relatable with her faults and her strengths. I like the combination of historical fiction with fantastical elements. I'd be down to read another book by this author. I own this book and plan on keeping it. I gave this book a 5/5.

Emily Wilde’s Encyclopedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett. I think I first stumbled across the book while browsing through GoodReads and then saw it mentioned as a recommendation on TikTok a few times. I came into this book knowing little about it. It seems like I got lucky this month because Emily, our main character, is one that is relatable and she's 30 years old! I wish the book had a page dedicated to helping the reader pronounce certain places and things. It's a cute book and although I wish it had a little bit more to it, I still liked it. I can't wait to read the next book in this series! I own this book and plan on keeping it. I gave this book a 5/5.

The Prisoner's Throne by Holly Black. Oddly enough, I liked this book more than The Stolen Heir. I think I liked this book more because I connected more with Oak rather than Wren. Whereas The Stolen Heir is from Wren's perspective, The Prisoner's Throne was from Oak's POV. I enjoyed seeing characters from The Cruel Prince and was pleasantly surprised at how much they are included in this book. Reading The Prisoner's Throne makes me want to go back and read the original trilogy. This is a book that I borrowed from my local library and I plan on owning this book in the future. I gave this book a 5/5.

The Lovely Dark (Monster Romance) Anthology: Wave Song by Emma Hamm. This is the second novella I've ever read and it was not bad. This novella is a prequel to a book I read in January, Whispers of the Deep, which I liked a lot. I like that there was a dual POV the main couple, but I found that the ending of story was a bit rushed, which I suppose is fair considering the length of the story. This is a book that I read on Kindle Unlimited and do not plan on owning. I gave this book a 4/5.

The Serpent and Wings of Night by Carissa Broadbent. this is advertised as Hunger Games meets vampires with enemies to lovers and if you’re looking for Hunger Games level of storytelling, then skip this book. I feel like this book is fairly forgettable. I came in with low expectations and even those were too high. I found the prose to be boring and the author is much more of a teller than a show-er, which often lead to the repetition of things that were mentioned before, such as "I'm human and they are vampires. Vampires like to drink human blood." This paraphrased mantra gets repeated so much in this book and it's like "yes, we get it. FMC is human and everyone is out to kill her." I don't think that I will read the rest of the books in this series. This is a book that I read on Kindle Unlimited and do not plan on owning. I gave this book a 1/5.

2024 Reading Masterpost

Follow me on GoodReads

[maya-matlin]

More Degrassi asks for whenever you want to answer! 1. Three or four unpopular Degrassi opinions - the more unpopular, the better! 2. Two or three Degrassi couples most fans really like who you're meh or ugh about 3. Two or three Degrassi couples most fans don't like much who you love (spoiler alert: my answer for this one would be Jenna/Connor...please don't hate me! The underwear thing was a horrific choice by the writers, but otherwise I love both lof them individually and together so much. It's so lovely to see someone 'on the spectrum' in a loving romantic relationship, and imo he is actually who she needs and deserves after KC!) 4. Your top seven female Degrassi characters? 5. Your top seven male Degrassi characters? 6. If you could choose to bring just three Degrassi characters back from the dead, who would they be?! Enjoy - I can't wait to see your answers...and feel fere to mock me for loving Jonnor ;)

Thank you for the asks!

Unpopular opinions:

1.) While I don't ship Spinner and Emma, their marriage is far from the worst thing Degrassi ever did. The timing made it all very questionable, but it seemed like Spinner and Emma found each other at just the right time. If not for the marriage itself, I don't think most would have such a big problem with them ending up together. Even though Emma's relationship with Sean was far more popular, in a lot of ways I actually think Emma and Spinner were more compatible. Maybe not for most of their run on Degrassi, but definitely during their last four seasons or so. If there's ever a reboot and those three characters return, I don't want to see Sean and Emma ending up together unless the writing can justify it. But based on how their relationship was written during season 6, I doubt they could.

2.) The definition of suicide is the act or instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally. Therefore, Zig couldn't have murdered Cam and bears no culpability in his death. This shouldn't be an unpopular opinion, but I still hear this ignorance on a monthly basis. It's been almost eleven years. This is ridiculous.

3.) Nine times out of ten, Ashley is correct and 100% in the right. It's just that many fans find her boring and she's consistently pitted against more popular characters played by more charismatic actors (Craig, Jimmy, Manny, Paige). This includes but isn't limited to Ashley dumping Jimmy because he was being passive aggressive and admitted to only considering her attractive on the inside as well as wanting to record and pursue music independently of Jimmy.

4.) Even though I prefer Drianca, the Clare/Drew relationship was one of the best written and executed ships during the later seasons. The writers did a fantastic job building up their feelings for each other and showing how they balanced each other out. It was a complete copout to drop their relationship entirely just so that Clare could end up with her slut shaming, misogynistic, emotionally abusive, overrated ex.

Popular couples I don't ship:

1.) Miles/Lola (They fucked once while his boyfriend was in a coma. Lola's whole thing was not wanting to be someone's second choice. Miles did the same "You're the only one that understands me" song and dance with four different love interests)

2.) Eli/Clare (See my fourth unpopular opinion or just watch seasons 10-14)

3.) Cam/Maya (They're sweet for what they are and I loved Maya's arc, but overall it was a very brief relationship that left Maya with a lot of trauma and negative feelings towards Cam. Also, Zaya was right there. That made it impossible to invest in them)

Unpopular couples I ship:

1.) Clare/Drew (once again, see unpopular opinion #4)

2.) Dave/Alli (Dave was actually a good character and deserves twice as much nostalgia and appreciation as Johnny DiMarco gets for doing the bare minimum. No, they weren't perfect, but Dave unlike most Degrassi cheaters put in the work and effort to win back his ex's trust. I think they loved each other. The timing was just wrong and to be honest, they probably weren't meant to be)

3.) Tristan/Miles (To be honest, I'm currently having some complicated feelings about these two due to being in the middle of a Next Class rewatch and being forced to realize the biphobia was even worse than I'd remembered. But, the simple fact I still technically ship them and the response to admitting you do in the present day is frothing at the mouth and shame means they should be included. For what it's worth, I liked them in season 13, enjoyed the potential in 14, and have positive memories of their second relationship)

Nooooo! Jonnor is amazing! They're one of the sweetest, purest couples on Degrassi. Connor struggled to understand social norms and handled his hormones in a questionable way, but he also didn't have the guidance at the time to figure that out. He left Degrassi to get a grasp on that, so I think it's forgivable. We see during Connor's relationship with Jenna that he's learned a lot and is overall a very respectful, considerate boyfriend to Jenna. I also strongly agree that Jenna deserved better than KC.

Top 7 female characters:

1.) Manny Santos

2.) Maya Matlin

3.) Alex Nunez

4.) Liberty Van Zandt

5.) Bianca DeSousa

6.) Paige Michalchuk

7.) Fiona Coyne

Top 7 male characters:

1.) Zig Novak (I don't even care)

2.) Spinner Mason

3.) Sean Cameron

4.) Marco Del Rossi

5.) JT Yorke

6.) Jay Hogart

7.) Mike Dallas

Three dead characters to bring back:

It kind of has to be JT, Cam and Adam. I wouldn't bring back Craig's dad or Rick. Part of me wants to bring back Wheels's parents from the original series, though.

[songsfordustmites]

i was tagged by @wormdream to shuffle my music and share the first ten songs that appear. i am doing this from my computer which has some stuff that i don't listen to anymore on it and also has a bunch of live bootlegs and b-side/compilation/unofficial stuff that i'll probably skip for this. thank you, anyways! <3

everything that could have been - kittie. from the album funeral for yesterday. i think there's too much repetition in this song at the end. could have been either condensed down or added some more words to it. i am excited for the new kittie album though!

put your hand inside the puppet head - they might be giants. from their album they might be giants. i love the music video for this song.

a man alone - aaron freeman. i did say i was going to skip the unofficial stuff, but this stopped me in my tracks. i only went through aaron's music once and should totally revisit it again. i have two versions of this on my computer, one is thirty seconds longer than the other. i got the shorter one. very sweet, very somber.

gioco d'azzardo - paolo conte. from his album appunti di viaggio. the instrumentals are great in this. conte is just really good at writing music. i still haven't heard all of his albums though.

paloma - tall juan. my beloved tall juan!!! i got into him in high school whilst looking for free stuff on bandcamp. he is also friends with mac demarco who i used to listen to all the time. i think it's funny how the lesser known artist that i found out about through a bigger artist stuck with me and the larger artist didn't. i was so happy to have seen him in february. he was so nice and very funny.

town to town - hello the band. one of flansburgh's side projects. it's a good song. i think it's interesting to see what they make without the other john.

mad (feat. lil wayne) - solange. from a seat at the table. i haven't listened to this album in a long time. i listened to this a lot in high school. her voice is sooooo beautiful! this is still the only album i have heard by her. i should take the time to listen to her other albums some day. ALSO she had the best song in yo gabba gabba.

the last song - sleater-kinney. from their self titled album. i am still on the fence about them. this is the only album i heard from them, i found it at a thrift store. maybe i'll enjoy their other albums more or maybe i just need to listen to this one more. sometimes whenever i finally listen to an album by a band that is influential within a specific scene, i get the opinion of this is something i would have liked more when i was an angsty teenager and was being introduced to punk with the more well known stuff. like i am at a place where i don't need the introductory stuff, i already have bands that are deeper into that genre that i can jam out to. does that make any sense? they're not bad like listening to ramones or some shit. like why would you waste your time with ramones or sex pistols or some other shitty popular punk band? sleater-kinney i can appreciate and would have loved as a kid when i needed more female fronted bands that were really cool and were more of my style. kittie is another example of this. i do love kittie a lot, but i wish i knew about them before as a kid. we should revisit this topic later.

tender situation - ween. from the album pure guava. ween is another band where i wish i got into when i was a kid. same with tmbg. i think i would have had the opinion that their early stuff was better unfortunately, however, they would have been perfect for fourteen year old me. i could have been burning their stuff onto cds for friends and making them listen to it like i did with daniel johnston. i love ween. i got into them after listening to most of the flaming lips' albums and was so disappointed by their stuff and ween ended up being exactly how i was hoping the flaming lips would sound.

(system)control - bleed the pigs. from the mortis fatum ep. FANTASTIC BAND! exactly what i needed after listening to so much boring indie rock. i neeeeeed to listen to more bands like them. the mixing is exactly what i like with the vocals not being too high up which i find is a problem in a lot of metal and punk and just rock in general. everything about them is just perfect!

well...i won't tag anyone for this. the commentary wasn't even part of the tag game, i just like to talk about music.

[daveslutstaine]

My Top Ten Album List: The Honorable Mentions

A while back I did a post on my top ten favorite albums of all time, and while making that list, there were many albums that I was considering for it but they simply did not make the cut for one reason or another. So instead, here is a list of all the albums that almost made it to my top ten list

1. Outlive/Songs of Death and Resurrection by Demon Hunter

For a band that I have only known for a few months, they somehow managed to capture my heart with their aggressive riffs and sweet, genuinely heart felt lyrics. Being one of the first albums I listened to by them, Outlive went above my expectations for a Christian metal band. I was going into Demon Hunter thinking they were going to be one of those incredibly stereotypical Christian metal bands but thankfully I was proven wrong. I was hooked on Outlive and from there went on to their other albums and eventually found my way to Songs of Death and Resurrection. It's a compilation album of acoustic versions of some of their earlier songs and I'm not gonna lie, I kinda like the acoustic versions a little more than I like the originals, but especially for My Throat Is An Open Grave. I still love the original, but the acoustic one is just too good for me to not love it more! Highly recommend these albums if anyone is interested!

2. Creedence Clearwater Revival by CCR

Next we have an album that I could not stop playing all throughout the summer of 2022, Creedence Clearwater Revival's debut album of the same name. I am not huge on the genre of country rock, but I have my exceptions, and CCR have landed themselves a spot in my heart as a favored band of mine. Unfortunately that does not automatically land them a spot on my favorite album list. While I hold a great amount of love this album, other albums were definitely more deserving of that spot. Sorry CCR :(

3. Supertramp by Supertramp

And now we have another debut album, this time by my dearest Supertramp. Being a more somber album than that of their later works, this album slowly crept it's way into my heart. While I love this album dearly, Breakfast In America ultimately won, but I still feel this album deserves some form of recognition, and so in my honorable mentions it goes.

4. When The Kite String Pops by Acid Bath

Next we have an album that I adore to possibly and unhealthy degree but hey don't we all have that one album we would explode upon finding? My fellow music collectors will surely relate to that but on with the commentary. This album was the one to make me fall in love with Acid Bath when I first discovered them, and I genuinely thought of putting both this album and PTT on my list because I simply could not pick between the two. For months I went back and forth between the two albums before finally choosing PTT, but I still love this album with all my heart. I hope someday I can find it. So far it's been years with no luck but I hope it'll get my grubby little hands on it soon.

5. Countdown To Extinction/Rust In Peace by Megadeth

As I stated on the post, these are two of the albums I heavily debated on replacing Youthanasia with. Countdown was the first album that got into Deth and one that I hold very dear to me. Rust In Peace, while being an album that I got into later down the line, is just too good for me to not consider. I love everything from the music down the very artwork of the album! But alas, neither of these albums hold a candle up to Youthanasia, and while many would disagree with that statement, this is my opinion so I don't care 💖

6. Relentless by Pentagram

And here is a band I don't speak of much these days, but I still listen to them and love them all the same. Relentless by the American Doom metal band Pentagram has had it's hold on me now for the past 5 years and it's still going strong. I love this album and this band to bits but I simply didn't love it enough it seems. It's fantastic though and I will forever cherish it as for what it is. I love Doom metal and boy do I love Pentagram!

7. Reise Reise and Mutter by (my beloved) Rammstein

I actually surprised myself a little when I went back to my old post and noticed I did not place a singular Rammstein album there despite them being one of my favorite bands. Seriously this band is what reignited my love for music during a depressive episode and man was I obsessed with them during my last few years as a teenager. I would listen to their music religiously and it got to the point were I was literally not listening to anything else but Rammstein. Anyway here are two out of the three of my favorite albums by Rammstein that I hold incredibly dear to me even to this day

8. Screaming For Vengeance by Judas Priest

And lastly we have Screaming For Vengeance that I unfortunately cannot place an image for because Tumblr has an image limit of ten still :/ but my disappointment at this website aside, Screaming For Vengeance has got to be one of my top Judas Priest albums. I don't reach for it as much as I do Defenders, but it's still an absolute banger and holds many of my favorite songs! Definitely one of their best but Defenders beats them in my heart.

This post was way shorter than the other one but that's because those other albums were definitely destined to be on my top ten, so I had no other considerations for their spots. These on the other hand were really hard for me to pick, so I figured I would delegate them to the spot of my honorable mentions.

[thebreakfastgenie]

Vienna Waits for You

I heard Billy Joel growing up--my mom has been a fan since the seventies and I really liked a couple songs that played on the local classic rock station--but I really got interested in his music when I was fifteen. I was hot-gluing some things together for an English project and I was looking for music to listen to when I found The Stranger and 52nd Street. I listened to the back-to-back and it was the closest this lifelong atheist has ever come to a religious experience. Something changed in me. I started listening to the rest of his albums online and pestered my mom until she bought the ones she didn't have already.

It was 2011. Billy Joel was still on the tail end of his decade of depression that he blamed on 9/11. He wasn't releasing new music, he wasn't touring, and there was no indication he was planning on doing either again. I watched video after video on YouTube from his masterclasses and Q&As and hoped maybe he'd at least do more of those so I could see him, even if I never got to hear him perform.

2012 rolled around. Hurricane Sandy hit. Chris Christie hugged Barack Obama and a bunch of musicians put together the 12/12/12 benefit concert. Billy Joel participated and it went so well that he decided to start performing again. When he announced his residency at Madison Square Garden I was living in Ohio and New York City felt out of reach. He started doing tour dates and I had several failed attempts at getting tickets to the ones close to me. I was afraid he'd stop touring. Finally, in 2015, I saw him in Chicago. I had a few favorite songs I was hoping to hear. He played all of them except one: Vienna.

I could have been happy with that, but a month later while I was in college in western Massachusetts, I found out he was doing a talk and Q&A at the New Yorker Festival. I took a Peter Pan bus to New York City by myself and I got to sit in the front row. I didn't get to ask a question but I don't know what I would have said anyway.

I could have been satisfied with that. It was more than I ever thought I'd get. It was a lot. But the farther away 2015 got, the more desperate I felt to hear him play live again. In 2023, I saw him play in Madison Square Garden. A dream come true. He opened with My Life--a fantastic opener--then played Pressure, which I loved. Next was Everybody Loves You Now and I was still recovering from actually hearing a song from Cold Spring Harbor live fifty-two years after it was originally released, when he introduced the next song. He didn't name it, he just said it was an album track from The Stranger that took on a life of its own.

He played Vienna.

The rest of the show was wonderful, but everything peaked for me in those four minutes. I waited more than ten years and it felt like I was waiting my whole life.

Vienna waits for me.

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Super Bad Is Back: Soul Love 1991 Soul / R&B

Yesterday, I posted about an amazing funk, soul, and R&B release that was put out in 1973 by the prolific Canadian budget compilation label K-tel called Super Bad Is Back. K-tel was a multifaceted company that became a fixture of middle-America in the 70s and was synonymous with cheapness and disposability because of the many albums it released that were pretty much just reproductions of big chart hits. There was no originality to their albums, no serious work done by its compilers to feature slept-on gems; just pure record shop discount bin stuff. But that Super Bad Is Back album was a *stellar* exception to their own rule.

And this release, Super Bad Is Back: Soul Love, which came out 18 years later, isn't. This is just a short set of ten straight-up 70s soul classics that are *mostly* fit for making some love to (more on that later). A bunch of special songs on an unremarkable cheat-code comp; K-tel's wheelhouse, as it were.

So, on here you'll find signature songs from a number of acts whose work defined the surface of 70s soul and R&B: Al Green's "Let's Stay Together," Al Wilson's "Show and Tell," The Chi-Lites' "Oh Girl," Luther Ingram's "If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right," and Barry White's sex-blaxploitational "I'm Gonna Love You Just a Little Bit More Baby." All huge 70s hits. In fact, the most obscure song on this CD is Tower of Power's great "So Very Hard to Go," which was their most commercially successful single, but only hit #17 on Billboard's Hot 100 and #11 on its R&B chart. A good showing for any song, sure, but based on how this one sounds, it definitely deserved more spins and sales.

And now, here's the part where I ruin part of your day by talking about Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On." I'll never fault anyone for thinking that this is a fantastic song, because, sonically, it definitely is. But keep in mind what the impetus behind this tune originally was: Marvin Gaye made it with his then-17 year-old crush, Janis Hunter, in mind. She would go on to marry him for a brief period of time afterwards, and they'd have two kids together, but she was only about half of Gaye's age when they first met. Not accusing Gaye of any legal wrongdoing in this regard and I'm not going to painstakingly research 1970s age of consent laws to figure it out, but listening to those lyrics, and knowing who it was that served as his inspiration for writing them, is definitely unsettling, to say the least. Really not trying to apply today's standards to a song from 50 years ago either—the social mores and what was deemed acceptable back then were obviously very different! How many hit songs have there been of grown-ass men singing about underage girls?!—but I also can't say that I really derive much enjoyment from this one anymore, knowing what I've known about it for some time now. Hard to not think about what he was thinking about when he made it, y'know?

This is all out in the open too, by the way. One need look no further than the liner notes for the 2001 deluxe CD edition of Let's Get It On. I promise you I'm not misinterpreting anything here, and I'm not even getting into the turbulence that Marvin and Janis' marriage suffered through, which was allegedly rife with domestic abuse (he wasn’t a great guy!). I'm just honing in on who and what drove Marvin Gaye to record "Let's Get It On" in the first place, a song that successfully transformed him from a righteous, politically conscious musician into an international sex symbol as well.

Hopefully I didn't ruin any special memories you may have that are associated with this song, but, maybe, let's leave this one off the sex playlists going forward, hmm? 🤷‍♂️

And I'm still including it in the list of highlights below, because, despite not really wanting to listen to it again, it is, undoubtedly, a very well-made song.

So, normally when I find an album like this that's comprised of some of your most basic, essential hits, I call it "Baby's first 'x' compilation." But given that this CD is filled with a bunch of sexual soul songs, I can't call it that. So, we'll call this "Consenting adult's first sex-soul compilation" instead, okay?😅. A wholly unremarkable CD if you're already familiar with these songs, but I guess it's also a sweet release for when you need some of...well...exactly that...except for, of course, that one big Marvin Gaye hit....😬

Highlights:

Al Green - "Let's Stay Together" Marvin Gaye - "Let's Get It On" Dorothy Moore - "Misty Blue" Barry White - "I'm Gonna Love You Just a Little Bit More Baby" Al Wilson - "Show and Tell" Tower of Power - "So Very Hard to Go" The Chi-Lites - "Oh Girl" Luther Ingram - “If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don’t Want to Be Right”