#tell ur baby I’m ur baby

[iced-coffeee7]

when the guy I like has a gf 😭

[brekwrites]

I can’t stop thinking about it. He has to be so stinky.

Close ups:

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

I'm not on t yet and it's already so bad. how to prepare

Prepare? Nuh uh. It just happens.

The rabid animal phase does go away, sort of.

The level stays mostly the same but you learn to ignore it.

If you can do it, exercising helps.

But when it hits randomly at the worst moment I’m sorry there is nothing to be done LMAO

[carfuckerlynch]

u guys ever get. weird vibes from a guy

[ravennhearted]

Will You Just Shut Up Already?

Word Count: 3511

Pairing: Merthur, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon

Characters: Merlin, Arthur Pendragon, Lancelot (if you squint)

Warnings: little bit of angst, but for the plot!

Tags: Arthur POV, Magic Revealed, Canon Era, 5+1 format

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Summary: five times Arthur tries to get Merlin to shut up and one time he succeeds

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Notes: sooooo… I wrote a thing. First fic in over three (?) years. But ya know, the undying fandom and our undying obsession blah blah blah. Hope y’all enjoy!

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1. Shouting

Merlin had been his manservant for all of a month, and already Arthur was sick of the idiot. He was useless and clumsy and daft, a truly awful servant who couldn’t seem to do anything right even when given clear instructions, or anticipate any of his needs, or bring him his meals on time, and to top it all off, the fool wouldn’t shut up.

His previously peaceful days were now filled with Merlin’s senseless prattle. Day and night he was surrounded by it, from the moment he woke up to Merlin’s ever-cheerful rise and shine or up and at ‘em or the dozen other needlessly annoying phrases he seemed to always have, all the way until he was finally dozing in his bed, Merlin’s daily gossip from around the castle lulling him to sleep.

It was . . . well, it wasn’t exactly awful, but it certainly wasn’t nice, either.

Especially in cases like this, when his day had been entirely too long and arduous and he’d been stuck in his stuffy clothes inside stuffy rooms around stuffy people and hadn’t had a moment to himself, and Merlin was just talking, as if he were doing so just to hear himself speak or something equally ridiculous, and all Arthur wanted was—

“Would you just shut up, Merlin!”

[continue reading here]

[petrichorium]

I also think abt like a scenario where ur dating Fatgum and just moved in together and like you have seen his thin form ofc but. Like a week in he comes home from work in his thin form and you’ve already gone to bed and he just slips in and in the morning well. Groggy morning brain is NOT the best to comprehend that the strange man in your bed is in fact ur pro hero boyfriend and not some rando

[partiallypearl]

do you ever just see a tiktok/instagram reel and go this is such straight people bullshit

[janeyjhoward]

you should all know, i’ve given divorce baby a name if it’s a boy or a girl. divorce baby lives now. I will die on divorce baby hill.

[notvil]

i love it when men have a weird need to get pregnant by their partner which is why any fics w this premise will be ridiculously self indulgent!!!!

[inkykeiji]

@ ᴛᴏᴅᴏʀᴏᴋɪ ᴛᴏᴜʏᴀ: your mom called, i told her you’re fucking up big time <3

[dyk3pup]

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

@catchuuu @staryukis @dollsuguru

candy

[latenighthomework]

u know I won’t play when u come around

[robo-nya]

Your biggest issue is going to school. God shut the fuck up at least you have a supportive family instead of one that watched you self destruct, punish you for it by getting rid of post secondary funds and then dumping me at my own house. But don’t worry they wanna know every minute of my business. Might be killing myself every time I’m behind a closed door!!! Oooooooo are you fucking scared!!!??? WELL GUESS WHAT I DO HARM MYSELF AND YOU PEOPLE NEVER SUSPECT IT WHEN I DO SO STOP TRYING TO FAKE CARE. CANT YOU SEE WHAT I NEED?

[zvdvdlvr]

imagine ur bd being out of the picture and your little girl running up to si ☹️🤍

   “Daddy!”

   Simon looked down, eyes wide at the little girl wrapped around his right leg. Johnny eyed him carefully. He was thankful none of the other café patrons paid any mind. “I’m not your daddy, love,” Simon said. He tugged his leg away gently but the strength of a child is hard to match.

     “Annalise, get off that man,” a woman cried. In the blink of an eye, she knelt near Simon’s leg and tugged the child away.

     “Dada!” She shrieked. Annalise’s chubby hands reached out for Simon’s. “Is dada, mama!”

     You shook your head. “I- I’m so sorry, sir. Her dad was in the military. Anna thinks everyone in fatigues is dada… Do you want me to get either of you a coffee to pay you back? I’m truly sorry.”

     Soap discreetly elbowed Simon harshly in the side. “‘M quite alrigh’ lass. Simon, here, would take a coffee if your serious. If you’ll excuse me, I got to go. Bye, little lassie,” the Scot rushed, face lightinf up at the way Annalise giggled as his parting.

     Annalise was still cooing and reaching for Simon. You just shifted her on your hip and rubbed her back. “Simon, yeah?”

     “That’s me, ma’am,” Simon nodded, feeling suddenly extremely exposed without the balaclava he had decided not to wear for one single occasion. “You don’t have to pay me back-“

     “Nonsense. I would feel like a bad person if I just let my kid latch herself onto your left and call you dad and then just swoop her up and leave,” you said, reaching for your wallet before walking over to the ordering counter. “What can I get you?”

     Simon ordered a small of his usual, watching you pull the money from your wallet without glancing at how much it costed. He observed you in that split second- a beautiful baby girl on your hip who thought any man in camo was her dad. So he had been in the service… Simon watched you smile kindly at the teen behind the counter who fumbled for your change. You murmured a quiet, “It’s quite alright, take your time.” A well-mannered, well put-together individual who was also very attractive. Simon knew what Johnny was doing when he left and Simon would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought you were a catch.

     “I seriously appreciate the coffee, ma’am, but it was unnecessary,” Simon said as you tucked your change back and waited for the drink. “As long as the kid’s alrigh’, I don’t need anything in return.”

     You smiled. You smiled at Simon and he swore his cold heart jumped in his chest. Clearly your bright smile disarmed Annalise as much as Simon because she let out a bubbly laugh and put her hands on your cheek. “What if I said I wanted to?” You asked coyly.

     Simon watched Annalise play with a baby hair near your face. “Then I’d say it’d be a cruel thing to tell a gorgeous woman no.”

[trevisos]

gale would be the kind of sugar daddy to withhold taxes for u. he would give u a w-2.