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meirimerens · 9 days ago

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Hi Ersher anon from a bit ago I’ve come with another question, do you have any thoughts on artemy’s mother? What she was like etc.

oh my god you do well to come back i had forgor💀 to reply again. you get a two for one deal.

as far as artemy's mother: she's [here]. i need to redraw her one day but she's one of the three p2 mothers i've drawn (her, stamatina, and dankovskaya). clay type of woman. even if she was a capital/western transplant to the town (as most of the non-Kin people used to be before they started popping out kids. orphans mostly. who didn't start off as orphan due to the Being born thing) i think she really quickly adopted the whole mother earth customs even without fully believe in them because Makes More Sense than sky father being father of everything and woman being born of man's rib, due to the She Can See Kids Are Born From Her. her clay (pottery) work kinda existed in this continuun of Creating Stuff, so was gardening. i think she did a lot of the plates & bowls & cups & whatnot that can still be found in the burakh's lair, all these little cups for mixing tinctures... i think she might even have made a first alambic prototype with a clay body, something like this.

i think she was weakened quite a bit by ersher's birth, and the second birth killed her.

i will not lie to you i don't think much about ersher because i love this ambiguity of it. i love that we know nothing about him except his bonds (burakh's brother, likely burakh's parents' son due to the Family thing), we don't know what he died of, at what age, and if artemy ever knew him. "My older brother. He died young." (artemy's quote) does not even tell us if he even knew ersher. it is implied they must've have at the very least cohabitated for a while, but maybe artemy just knows him from being told about him, but holds him dear enough that he calls him "older brother".

considering kids around 15yo are ruling the town, forming gangs and discussion politically-motivated loveless alliance marriages, i take "young" to mean "under 14", even younger than that. to me, ersher died around 10. i like the number 10, because it is the one who keeps coming back in p1 (10 years since the last outbreak). equally for that numerology grind, i think he and artemy have 5 years difference, for 5 is the number that comes back in p2 (last outbreak). so ersher died at 10 when artemy was 5. i'm not sure what i want him to have died of (.......... very strange formulation but you know what i mean). on one hand, i could see the steppe swallowing him. just straight up doing that. the steppe refuses to eat the elder burakh (cannot be buried, beginning of P2) because he has unfinished business at the surface, swallows the eldest son, refuses to eat the youngest because he must stay on the surface, he is the tether at the surface. i need to check the geology of that part of the eurasian steppe but this ^ would be inspired by something that happens in a land i love, where basically it's a mountain of sometimes-hollow limestone, covered with soft ground, and sometimes a hiker can fall through that soft ground into a big hollow, and never be found, or be found at hunting season when the hunting dogs sniff out the corpse. scary stuff. my other thought is he died... of something "stupid". something that now is very preventable, even easy to help with, but wasn't for a long, long while. cold. flu. some kind of vitamin deficiency. poisoning. tetanus (not "stupid", very dramatic and scary, the vaccine is from 1939). actually i might go with the tetanus thing: it's a really nasty, scary disease (like the pest), but not transmissible. it can happen from getting a wound infected. i think he was handling his father's tool, maybe to learn to butcher; got a cut; got infected; died.

i think artemy was not shielded from seeing this, even if his mother really insisted he be. i think he doesn't remember much, if anything of it; seeing illness does not trigger memory of his brother, but he has this. apple seed of grief inside of him. lodged somewhere all bitter and dark. i think it made him be a little morose as a person, which he still is, but it has been so long it has become his "baseline". i think artemy has very, very little memories of his brother; basically his brain is blank from 5yo and back, most of his core memories come from 7 & up, where he truly bonded with the friends he still has (still tries to keep). i think ersher's death devastated his mom, who was already weakened from the birth, and grief + weakness during the second birth killed her. now i could get into how isidor has made plenty of selfish choices which are are not yes no if you see it that was if you don't see it that way Selfish and he tries to justify and he doesn't and he knows and he doesn't... and what it could have meant for him to try to have a second kid when his wife was like that... because she's not the virgin mary that thang did not pop up like that... there is stuff to say there isn't. she wanted artemy too she did. she just didn't make it to see him.

ersher in my mind didn't get to like. be much of a person due to the Dead At 10 thing, but he was more jolly that artemy has ever been (also i think bc the second son was raised in more morose of an atmosphere, with a dad having already lost a son & his wife). he was a brunette ☝ in my mind mom's blonde & isidor was brown-haired (even if Bald), artemy got mom's blonde & ersher had dad's brown. i think he had his hair longer, And i think stakh, who knew him just a bit longer because barely older than artemy, because he has his whole. gestures. cain and abel if they (tried to) slayed (each other)/wants to be isidor's son sooo bad started growing out his brown hair for that. his problems and issues notice how i keep making it about him. stakh always at the scene of the crime.

basically yeah 👍 thank you for enjoy his mom i miss her so bad

#anonymous #ring ring (answers)#''i don't think much about ersher [ESSAY]''#artemy lore #burakh lore #isidor lore #ersher lore #ersher burakh #bozhena olegovna burakh #i miss her every day. vasilisa and yeva too tbf

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ladyofspoons · 5 months ago

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My kid has informed me she is a fairy. Can you recommend us resources on faedom?

Also she tells me that fairies get "infinity power ups every day" so that sounds nice

cidysgebgkigudhwb ok wow that’s awesome and i’m so happy that you have a wonderful fey child and i’m happy for her to have a wonderful accepting parent. this deserves neither of you but desperately needs both. also, i’m incredibly honored that you would turn to me for this information. that said i don’t have a lot in compiled resources, more just accumulated knowledge, but i will provide you with what i can.

some here are some things every fairy/faerie/fey/etc should know:

first off, you’re gonna want to stay away from iron, especially cold iron. the effect if cold iron on a fairy is akin to silver for werewolves or vampires, so try not to touch it if at all possible.

you also want to make sure that your full, true name is known by as few people as possible, and anyone who has this knowledge about you will be able to control you completely. a true name is a summary of who you are in totality. it may change over time, especially if you choose a new name, but to prevent someone from knowing it, i recommend multiple middle names or aliases.

on the topic of names, powerful enough fey are able to steal the names of others, or trade them (like i do). this works on the principle that for the fey, any exchange, agreement, or gift is a contract. if you say to someone “may i have your name” and they reply with their name, that name is yours now, since you asked for it and they gave it to you. this principle works with anything really, so be fairy careful. the realm of fey is one filled with contracts, the terms of which do not necessarily need to be explained to all parties.

the majority of fairy lore today is based on irish or welsh stories, so knowing some pronunciations for either language is super helpful. for instance ‘sidhe’ is pronounced the same as ‘she’ and often refers to the fey, but technically just means hill.

you’ve probably heard about fairy courts, which are moderately important in determining when and where any given fairy is most powerful, and where they have jurisdiction to act, but unless you want want to get into otherworld politics, you needn’t bother with their inner affairs too much. it’s recommended to ally yourself to one of the two major courts, seelie (whimsical and mischievous) and unseelie (mischievous and vindictive), as well as one of the four seasonal courts (winter, spring, summer, autumn). these might change what abilities you’re proficient with, but again, unless you’re looking for the magical bureaucracy, you don’t need to get too deep. there are also many smaller courts (like mine, the Court of The Evening Star) that hold less power and are typically sustained by individuals to host their own little slice of the feywild and ally themselves with others on a more direct scale, without having to wait for approval from higher powers. of course all of this is entirely optional, you can do whatever you want forever.

ultimately, being a fairy is about indulging in the freedom of whimsy, imagination, and fantasy as a whole, so whatever you find leads you there is probably the right thing for you. make up your own rules and have fun with it

finally, here are some actual written resources:

Tree and Leaf by Tolkien, specifically the section “On Fairy Stories” which is an interesting exploration of the origins of the fantasy and fairy tale genres if nothing else

Dnd monster manuals are always a fun read, and can be helpful if you want more modern examples with specific abilities and lore

Celtic Fairy Tales collected by Joseph Jacobs is a fairly decent collection of some classic stories of the sidhe folk

and if you don’t want to do the reading, i’d at least recommend checking out some of the videos by Overly Sarcastic Productions, links below, for a basic overview of some myths and folklore concerning the fair folk, as well as just being entertaining.

Welsh-Pywll, Prince of Dyved

Scottish-Tam Lin

Irish-Book of Invasions

many origins-Wild Hunt

that's about all i've got, so i hope it is useful information. both you and your child have a place in the Court of The Evening Star if you so desire. be safe, and happy pride month

#fey #tis truly an honor #i hope this is helpful

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forevernneverending · 6 months ago

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Metal Inside

Part-3

I: I heard about your preference for german beer, especially “Warsteiner”. Why do you like this “juice for pussies”;-) ?There are better ones here...

V: I’m not sure where you’ve heard that. I can only speak for myself, and I don’t drink anything else than Dunder, my homemade alcohol. I don’t like beer.

I: But you produce your own strong booze. How do you make it and what does smell and taste like? You tell us some details of the recipe? And something bout the effects, if you drink your stuff...

V: As I said, Dunder. It’s water, sugar and yeast, with strength like a strong wine. Some say it smells and taste like ass gas, but to me it is like a fine spring day. It’s a tradition that’s been in my family for years. Most likely Arntor also sat down at evenings and drank Dunder. The effect is obvious, blackout since it’s such a pure stuff with no ingredients. Some of the other members have the urge for moonshine (96%), and I don’t say no when offered. The effect is of course total madness, as you may know. Sture’s distillery runs day and night.

I: Now something more serious: I read, that you like your home, norway, especially your hometown (what is it called by the way?). So in germany it is difficult to speak about some national feeling without comin in the “nationalistic hemisphere”. What do you think about this problem? And what about the german title “todeswalzer” in this context?

V: My hometown is named “Sogndal”(or “Sòknardalr” in the ancient times). I am very fond of Norway, but especially Sogndal. It’s deep in the Sognefjord, so we’re pretty isolated and the rural culture rules here. Of course there is the same problem here as in Germany, it’s political incorrect to feel strongly about anything or anyone these days, a communistic idea. I don’t see any problem being a nationalist, the problem is that the public confuse it with neo-nazism. But who can blame them? The public is stupid. End of discussion. So when we have skin-heads running around with the swastika on one arm and a thors hammer on the other it’s not strange that people wonder. “Todeswaltzer”, I felt it fitted the ¾ beat in the middle of the song, nothing more mysterious than that.

I: In scandinavia there are so fucking much metal bands. You got an explanation for that? And are there in the whole scene perhaps too much bands?

V: Why are there so many bands here? I don’t know if we have more bands than you. Maybe it seems that way since they get more attention for being Scandinavian? I don’t know really. There are too many bands, yes. But we can’t deny them to play and have fun, can we?

I: Tell me something about your private life? What about the members‘ jobs, hobbies, feel free to write...

V: He, he. We have to keep some things secret. Don’t you think? Well, I have the music. I’ll end up as a music-teacher in two years. Otherwise I drink and m***** to German p***: Helen Duval etc. (or is she Belgian?) So that’s it. I hope you understand all that crappy english and i’m looking desperatly forward for the answers

I: You’re English were very good, I’m not that good either.

2001- metal inside

#black metal #norwegian black metal #metal #windir #sogndal #true black metal #valfar

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thecorvidforest · 1 year ago

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Hi!! I saw that ur punk and I had questions if that’s okay!!! Im p sure I heavily align w punk ideology (and have already been cpunk for a while) (I strongly don’t want to conform to society and love all “weirdos”, fuck cops capitalism etc etc,,,) but I don’t listen to punk music or dress punk at all. I know u don’t have to dress any certain way (feel like ppl r gonna call me fake though) but people say u need to listen to punk music and I’m going to try !! but I’m very new and haven’t started yet.. when exactly is it okay to call myself punk? and umm while I do align with ideology I actually am very uneducated on anarchy and maybe similar concepts that I’m very interested in learning about but have no idea where.. can u give me any info on what being punk is really about and where to learn more? some people say there are “posers”’ but what exactly would make someone a poser?

hello! not a problem, i'm happy to tell you what i can :) (also ayy, fellow cpunk)

i would say that you can call yourself a punk when you're educated on the politics and ideology and can say for certain what parts you align with. being punk isn't about the aesthetic, it's about the ideology, so making sure you understand said ideology is the most important step.

that said, while punk ideology is generally left-leaning and anti-establishment, it's a massive umbrella that covers tons of different political beliefs. i personally am an anarchopunk, which is very left-leaning and centered around community instead of authority, but is directly against the beliefs of other subgroups like neo-nazi skinheads or national front which have both co-opted a lot of punk culture for its anti-establishment beliefs. there is no single set of punk beliefs, so it's important to do your research before adopting the label.

some places i would look to in order to learn more: classic punk literature (https://www.popmatters.com/punk-literature-101-recommended-readings is a great list of some places to start), and punk arts such as poetry, music, and zines, and punk history. dcdig.dclibrary.org has some fantastic collections that cover some of the history and politics that have influenced punk culture (i would very much recommend their DC Punk Archive Zine Library). in particular i'd look at the queer and BIPOC historical influences on punk culture, because those tend to get left out and knowing about that history is very important.

as for what makes someone a poser: posers in the punk community are typically people who embrace punk aesthetics but are uneducated on punk politics. they want the social recognition of the label but have nothing to contribute when it comes to their ideology. they tend to flock to places like tiktok where they can get that social recognition without having to talk about their beliefs. they also tend to gatekeep the punk community a lot. posers are not punk.

some red flags that a person might be a poser: they gatekeep the punk community, they don't talk about their beliefs and/or get irritated when people ask them about their beliefs, their punk fits are bought from amazon or other large corporations instead of being handmade or from small/punk owned businesses (it's pretty hard to tell from just looking though), they shame people for not listening to specific music or not "looking punk enough", they happily promote unnecessary violence because it's "edgy", they hate on everyone who doesn't agree with them, etcetera.

and in regard to your follow-up question about whether one can be emo/goth/nerd etc and punk at the same time, you absolutely can! these subcultures tend to overlap pretty often, and there's really no actual rules about what makes or breaks a punk identity other than being educated and honest about the labels you use.

i hope this helps, and good luck! :))

#punk #anarchopunk #anarchism #punk culture #cpunk #disability #education #community #punk community #acab

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intoxicatingimmediacy · 2 years ago

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It's clipping. Bitch: An Interview

Back in September, our journalist Lachlan interviewed Daveed Diggs, Jonathan Snipes, and William Hutton of West Coast experimental hip-hop group clipping. at SWG3, Glasgow on the first date of their European Tour. Their discussion includes the inspiration of singing in the shower, creepy woodsheds, and the challenge of approaching a Story 3.

[...] LACHLAN: With respect to staple horrorcore genre choices, has it been the case you feel especially inspired to reflect social climates within the United States, isolated examples being issues surrounding police brutality, corruption, and racism in Chapter 318 and Knees on the Ground? Does the gratuity and horror come as a reworked response to American society, with inspiration regarding gang culture etc also considered?

DAVEED: I think from all the stuff we’ve consumed as fans genre-wise. So that lends itself to doing horrorcore stuff, or more industrial stuff. I mean the album concepts come from that. Pretty early on we did feel that it became important to wear our politics on our sleeve in our music all the time because there is no first person. So yeah, we do end up leaning that way but that’s what’s scary. If we’re trying to make something scary, in America and all over. Power systems are the scariest thing we all have access to.

WILLIAM: If we’re taking inspiration from horror, film and horror literature, because so many of those songs are completely story telling thematically. I think horror has always done that. You have to decide what is monstrous at any given time, right? And that’s always going to be political. I don’t know how else to do that. I don’t know how to make an apolitical monster.

DAVEED: It’s also an aspect of rap music coming from a lineage of black folk traditions that are generally about “How do we party through the austerity?” Finding the party in the grief and sadness. To me, it has always been baked into rap music anyway.

JONATHAN: But it is an important distinction because I think we don’t tend to make a lot of songs that are specifically political. But all of our songs do have a politics to them. It’s impossible to make anything without a politics.

WILLIAM: ‘Nothing is Safe’ is not a “get out the vote” polemic. But it is about killer cops. So, we’ve made a couple “message” songs in response to specific events and moments, and then everything else is imbued with whatever politics we think drive and operate the stories we want to tell.

[...] LACHLAN: Now for Jonathan and William, in terms of experimental exploration, how do you feel Midcity through Visions has progressed in divulging in noise and certain industrial concepts, the techniques regarding miscellaneous ‘everyday sounds’, and sampling?

JONATHAN: Well, we’ve definitely broken all of the rules that we’d made. We were really rigid of ‘No drum sounds, no pitched material.’ We even broke those rules on Midcity.

WILLIAM: Well, it wasn’t ‘No pitched material.’ More, nothing in a key that is harmonically like Western tonality, right? Because some things would be pitched but a screaming feedback tone.

JONATHAN: But yet rhythmically we had to be incredible coherent and precise and you had to be able to internally feel the rhythm of it as if it was a rap song. We didn’t just want to make chaos with rapping on top of it.

WILLIAM: We didn’t want to be sloppy. We thought it was possible to be really precise.

DAVEED: Those first songs are almost all three verses, three hooks, they’re also very formally rap songs, sixteen bar verses for the most part.

JONATHAN: We still mostly do that, first verse, first hook. Sometimes not. But we’re now using a lot more drum sounds and a lot more melodies. In those early days I can remember making a song and listening to it and thinking it needs these eight things. We’re going to make this list and do these eight things and then we’re done. And we’d listen to it and think ‘I guess that’s the thing we set out to create but I don’t know if it’s good enough or not yet.’ I just knew we had ticked all the boxes we set out to. It took about two-thirds or three-quarters of the way through Midcity for us to start having the innate feeling of what the sound of the band was. And now we can abandon the rules while making things that sound like ‘clipping.’

WILLIAM: Yeah, there’s also, starting as a side project that was very constricted, all of your other ideas get to be in all of these other things. But then once this [band] started to become the one people like then we had to start expanding it because we wanted to keep making more material. Once it had spiralled into our main band, then you want to slowly expand your palate and what you’re doing with it to be able to encompass more of your ideas and imagination. We would have never put ‘Say the Name’ or ‘Nothing is Safe’ on our first record. They’re too conventional in a way. We’ve expanded incrementally out from that record to the point where we feel like they count as ‘clipping.’ songs too.

JONATHAN: We just dropped a pretty by-the-numbers club 12” that I made which we wouldn’t have done back then.

WILLIAM: No, definitely not. I think it’s also one of those things. I’m still always so confused when people are surprised to find out what music we listen to and like. I tweeted a recommendation for a metal album once and people were like ‘What? clipping. listens to this?’ Of course. How is that surprising to anyone?

JONATHAN: That feels like a very young idea. I definitely had that idea when I was a teenager that genres were much more rigidly segmented than they are and that you define yourself by locking yourself into a particular genre of music. That’s what teenage fans do, right? So, I guess the assumption for me is that is of course what musicians do.

DAVEED: It feels less and less true with kids these days.

WILLIAM: But we listened to everything as kids. Did we ever think that artists listened only to artists that sound like them or to themselves. I remember Trent Reznor really admired Prince and that didn’t seem crazy to me. But when someone sees that I have a Kim Petris T-shirt online they’re like ‘what is a guy from clipping. doing wearing a Kim Petris T-shirt?’

DAVEED: Bill also reads more tweets than us.

JONATHAN: I think the Nineties, when we were all teenagers, was more with major labels controlling that sort of branding and branding was much more narrow than it is now having the width of the internet in front of us. I also listened to everything but I was the only person I knew in Riverside, California. Most of my friends were ‘oh I’m a… I listen to industrial music and I dress this way.’

DAVEED: So much of our identity as kids was about what kind of music you listen to. That dictates who your friends are. Kids these days seem much more agnostic about it. I don’t really know what an ‘indie’ band is anymore. Music is inherently an independent act at this point. Unless you’re one of very, very few people who are monetising the albums that they make.

#bill hutson #jonathan snipes #daveed diggs #clipping.#clipping

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raccoonshinobi · 1 year ago

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As a feminist, wouldn't it be anti-feminist to tell a woman what she should and shouldn't do with her life - as is the talking point regarding the patriarchy?

Both garner expectations… And it's not 'gaining and protecting agency and inclusion' by having strangers stockpile and demand expectations on other strangers under threats and slander.

You know what that's called? Tyranny. The fear of volatile people is just as bad as the fear of a single dictator - both possess a death toll one way or the other, either by mass murder or suicide by excommunication and ostracization. And both are weak without asserting power over others.

The Greeks called it 'Ochlocracy' - Government by Mob Rule.

The sad part is this form of mob mentality isn't new. It just adapts in the worst form of people when they realize they share a common goal of literally bullying others to death and coming together to do just that.

We never evolved. We just have better opportunities.

Evolution operates on global survival, not personal desire.

Evolution can't fully be controlled; it develops what you *need*, not what you want. Artificially changing anything can do more harm than good.

And as it happens, the ancient Greeks celebrated a LOT of what the louder and violent 'woke' lgbt proclaim and the result would just be the same - complete utter resistance and the changing tide that follows deep into obscurity. History has repeated itself just at a large enough sale to be acknowledge due to social media.

And this weaponized peer pressure - online or offline - has long since overstayed its welcome. Some folks can't mentally get out of childhood and high school…

Even sadder is that the game plan never changed: Tyrants Weaponize Mobs.

Tyrants and Shills NEED mobs to beat the opposition and the silent majority for them, And they always attract those who can't think for themselves or those who refuse to think for themselves.

It's worse than a hive-mind; at least a hive-mind has clear standards and above all else a working system. Structure.

The only coherent rule the woke/lgbt/radfem movements has is 'Worship everything I demand beyond all reason or actually die mad about it."

There IS no system behind these movements, there are no standards, only grade-school-level bullying from incredibly miserable folks who hate others (straight, bi, gay, etc) for having any shred of joy that has nothing to do with said miserable folks.

Being a malicious center of attention is not how you make friends, it's how you make lackeys.

Miserable people do not know the difference between friends and lackeys. Both required loyalty; only one require mutual love - and miserable people are devoid of mutual love by all means.

Either THEY OR THEIR VIEWS matter at all times -or- no one else and their views should matter at all; that's the only setting they run by.

For the record, I don't accept nor trust the left or the right. I'm not even centrist - They're ALL shit. I'm as apolitical as they come.

Not anarchist. I believe a form of rulership is necessary for humankind. I just don't believe in people… It's easy to bullshit your way to the top when you're privileged enough.

When was the last time we had someone from the bottom rung of society - or who cared for the bottom rung - speak out against the hypocrisy of current-day politics on either side who wasn't silenced, or vanished without a trace? Those kinds of people have little use for both sides but can damage a lot of good faith… That's why they're kept in their places.

I'll take benefits from either side and pay what's due - but I spare zero loyalty for any of either side's rancid bullshit.

The violent (and practically mainstream) portion of LGBT/Woke/Inclusivity/Feminism don't truly want justice and equality. They want worship.

And before anyone calls me a weirdo for 'making this religious'… Definitions:

A feeling of profound love and admiration

Love unquestioningly and uncritically or to excess; venerate as an idol

When you have a problem with ANYTHING less than this, even mild indifference or avoidance and it manages to piss you off and want NO ONE to question you on anything remotely concerning, you're craving worship and nothing less than that.

#thoughts

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chaosnojutsu · 1 year ago

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What he’s doing is a direct violation of the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

[ID in alt text]

If you’ll direct your attention to Article 5 and refer to the headline about Abbott, someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think most would agree that requiring employees to perform manual labor in temperatures above 100° F without providing them adequate means of hydration constitutes “cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment.” Furthermore, it might be a stretch but one could say that since water is necessary to life, Abbott’s actions also violate Article 3.

And you can argue that “they should bring their own water” if you want. I’m not out there on the construction sites every day, so I can’t imagine what it’s like or make up what rules/policies are in place concerning the matter. But as someone who also lives in Texas and experiences these temperatures and their effects on a day to day basis, while spending most of my miserable time indoors with the air conditioning on, working around the house but definitely not performing construction, and has chugged more water in the past month than I have in the past five years combined (and I wish that was an exaggeration)… I’d venture to say that these workers already are bringing their own water. But there’s no way to refill or replace water consumed. They’re probably finishing it off in the first half hour of work and then suffering the rest of the day. Or maybe they’re rationing it so they can make it through the day relatively hydrated. I honestly can’t tell you which one sounds more horrifying, but I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that those things are happening.

(Side anecdote: Texas has a University Interscholastic League of which most, if not all, school districts are a part of. UIL is taken incredibly seriously across the state, including enforcement of rules at any and every academic/athletic practice or contest to the nth degree. The UIL rules concerning groups that practice outdoors (football, marching band, etc.) require frequent water breaks. It’s odd to me that, given Texas’ abysmal education system and its rapidly worsening state under Abbott’s administration, there are strict mandates regarding the health and safety of student competitors— as there should be, but guess what, UIL is not a government entity and they still managed to implement those rules and put the fear of god into anyone who dares disobey— but not for paid laborers. It’s almost as if Greg Abbott is so bigoted that he doesn’t care about the lives of the predominantly POC construction workers and doesn’t care who knows it.)

So weaponize your horror. Call my governor about it. Call YOUR government about it. Call the ACLU and the UN about it. Because even if I’m wrong and this is somehow technically legal and there’s “nothing we can do about it,” at least we tried something to stand up to our oppressors and make life less miserable for each other.

And don’t you dare say a word about Texans “getting what we deserve for living in a red state” when there are so many marginalized groups who simply cannot leave at this point in time, especially when our attorney general was impeached earlier this month and admitted to blocking millions of votes in the last election cycles so that the GOP would win. Had Ken Paxton not done that, Beto O’Rourke would have ousted Ted Cruz, Trump would not have won Texas, and Abbott would not be emboldened to take action this heinous with so many political adversaries in office, if he were even still in office.

Their goal is cruelly and death to minorities, especially with this sadistic ruling.

#i would hyperlink the UN and the contact info myself but tumblr’s paste function seems to be not functioning at the moment :/#but all of this is directly from their website #and if you don’t know HOW to contact the government (or are anxious) let me walk you through it:#step one: google ‘contact [political figure/department/etc.]’#step two: choose your method of contact. send a message on the site - email them - call their office - send a pigeon if that’s your style #step three: unleash your inner rage. no censorship allowed.#step four: revise. (they unfortunately will not take anything looking too emotional seriously. fix the all caps.)#step five: hit send/dial #step six: wait for a reply.#step seven (most important one): demand a reply. if they don’t follow up you resend that exact message but add a bitchy intro #you are ‘the people’ who elect them. whether you voted for them - they have no idea. if enough people say ‘you lost my vote’ they WILL worry #step eight: repeat as many times as necessary #texas politics #greg abbott #fuck greg abbott #american politics #i can’t stand that hateful old man #human rights #united nations #aclu

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knowlesian · 2 years ago

Text

ofmd is an alternate history and fractured fairytale at once and i am going FERAL ABOUT IT.

the alternate history part is fairly self-explanatory; things did not go as planned/why and what if it weren’t like that are the guideposts they set in the first episode. ofmd takes place in a world of made up moths, a new name away from being just like the moths in our world, where crown royal bags are shovel covers, people wear crocs and funky little crop tops and pinocchio was available in print in 1717.

these aren’t mistakes or goofs: these are purposeful narrative choices. they’re not trying to be historically accurate, but rather to create their own alternate world where shit happened when and how the writers want it to.

the fractured fairytale bit needs a moment of explanation, just in case anyone isn’t familiar with the concept.

a fractured fairytale is essentially a deconstruction of a classic fairytale. they’re usually absurdist, they use a narrative structure or story/characters people are familiar with to tell a new story with a lot more nuance and a more modern worldview, and at their best they provide a thoughtful critique of whatever they’re attempting to deconstruct.

in a fractured fairytale, you might have an exterminator named, i don't know. sal, who has a thick brooklyn accent and is fucking sick of getting called out here to deal with this ant problem and not getting paid, lady. he doesn’t say nothing about the weird little graveyard out back or the rotating cast of kids in the oven, but he draws the line at convincing a bunch of singing ants to march their happy asses away from a cottage MADE OF SUGAR for the third time this month. cast a fuckin’ no-munch spell or pay up, & etc.

you get the picture. fractured fairytales, much like their source material, also usually operate on the Rule of Cool. things happen because it makes the story best, not because linear time or real world logic must be factored in. (unless factoring it in for a second would be coolest, like when you want to do some tender brow mopping while a wound heals: then it’s allowed.)

which brings me to the part i like best.

most alternate histories tend to ask ‘what if things were worse’. that’s not the entirety of the genre; some also ask ‘what if things were different’, but there’s not a whole lot of ‘what if things were better’.

especially not for marginalized groups.

i see a lot of utility and catharsis in narratives exploring pain, whether that’s just depicting real life or investigating how things might have gone worse. my issue isn’t with their existence so much as the wildly skewed ratio, and that for where i’m at right now in life i’m painfully aware life can get worse. i know that because over my lifetime, in many ways it has. not all the ways! but enough that political pessimism (never my chosen or instinctive mode) is currently unavoidable if i want to acknowledge reality and fight back instead of sticking my head in the sand.

all that means that i am very interested in art that says: i am not here for straight-up escapism so much as i am a celebration of defiant and sometimes angry hope for better in the face of genuinely shitty odds.

the thing about landing a dart on the proverbial dartboard o’ marginalization is that you move through life knowing the world is not for you. the ways in which that plays out change depending on how many darts any of us land and where we land them, but in some way we are always, always being reminded that we exist outside the mainstream and are allowed in on sufferance and promises of good behavior.

it’s why we can’t say ‘hey, get your fucking boot off my fucking neck, who the fuck raised you’ without getting scandalized pushback for a lack of civility. ‘please, person i know is good and kind and i am not in any way angry with, would you kindly take your foot away from the spot where you have placed it? i can happily wait another five to five hundred years, of course, but i would so like to not be down here’ is how you have to word these things, or you get called angry. or crazy, or stupid, or lying— the point is, people like us so rarely get to win, and we have to be so, so nice about the shittier realities of our lives if we want to be as effective as possible when trying to get people to listen up and knock it off.

ofmd doesn’t deny the more horrifying aspects of colonization and empire exist and hold sway in the world they built. they just refuse center them or make the trauma/tragedy the point, but instead use these glimpses into a harsher reality to craft absurd and emotionally real situations, alongside characters who get to not give a single fuck about how the world thinks they should be acting and are not punished by the narrative for being themselves.

(this does not mean bad things will not happen to beloved and/or authentic characters: it just assures them the eventual win, and means the narrative doesn’t end up enforcing a bleak set of rules that unconsciously assume to push back against the status quo is to be eventually ground down or broken in some fashion.)

this is why lucius could never have been actually dead: it breaks the show, on a fundamental level. and shows a lack of thoughtfulness and intentionality, neither of which really ever seems to be an issue for this team.

this is why nana is great with pronouns but judgey about a lack of murder, and why jackie and jim have a drink instead of fighting it out, or why stede isn’t angry about ed’s pirate face/off plan and ed comes back to knock boots just in time.

it’s about the Rule of Cool, yeah, but it’s about more than that. it’s about looking the realities of a shitty world and shitty behavior in the eye and saying, but why can’t we imagine better? we can so, so easily imagine worse. why is it so hard to think: what if people were kinder and more honest? what if you got to exist in a stacked system where you are the one it’s stacked against and still win?

and then it’s also about deconstructing pirate (and colonizer) narratives and fucking around in the murky waters of identity and finding solidarity and how to live out solidarity in the first place and a million other things silly and serious and on this day, the day of our rainbow capitalism overlords FINALLY GETTING THEIR SHIT TOGETHER

i am very, very glad this show exists. because fuuuuuuck me running, did we need a win right now.

#our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #my ofmd meta #truly i fucking love this show #it's so structurally cool and honest and new and weird and original #fuckin... feral over it your honor #would fight an army of bears for it #i will SEE THESE WRITERS OUTSIDE #(to thank them and maybe cry or hyperventilate who knows)

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hyuckilstan · 3 years ago

Text

[11:23 pm] - J.Yh

Requested? Yes: “Hey gorg can you do a yunho imagine s.o giving him a lapdance”

Pairing: Yunho x stripper!gn!reader

Genre: mild smut, suggestive

Warnings: reader has a stage name called “Scarlett”, lap dance, lots of grinding, dry humping ig, a very steamy make out, yunho gets cockblocked/blueballed lmao-, petname (cub), not proofread. (I think that’s about it)

Wc: 2.7k+ words

a/n: ofc! thanks for requesting and I do apologise if it’s not what you anticipated it to be, I was very unfamiliar with the topic but I tried my best, hope you enjoyed either way and I just realised it’s not so s.o so I apologise for that as well ;-;

☽·Masterlist·☾

“Going out?” your neighbor, not just any neighbor, but the hot and tall ass neighbor you had asked you as you locked the door to you small yet cozy apartment, you nod putting the keys in the pocket of your coat, “Yeah, for work, what about you? Any plans for the night?” you asked back.

“Yeah, they let me out of work early so I might visit a place,” he says and you lift one of your brows, “Oh? What place? You seem happy,” you ask in a playful tone, after all you never intend to be all nosy.

“That’s a secret, someone like me shouldn’t reveal,” says Yunho as he presses his index finger to his lips, with a cute smile, “Someone like you? What even is someone like you?” you giggled at his response.

“An innocent cute dog? I don’t know either,” he says and you both end up laughing, Yunho really knew how to brighten up the mood even without trying, or maybe you just found even the smallest things he does or says funny cause well, you found him cute, it was like highschool crush all over again with him.

“Well you have fun while I go work Yuyu,” you say walking away waving at him while he give you a little salute.

You let out a small giggle as you thought back, Yunho....you liked him, more in a innocent crush way, but who wouldn’t like him. He was a charming man, polite, respectful, sweet, humble, modest and not to mention attractive as fuck.

When you heard that someone was going to move in next door, you were not even a tad excited to meet them, the building just collected weird, odd people a lot, you were just the very few who weren’t.

So you were surprised when you saw that fine hunk of a junk introduce himself to you, you thought he was some type of authority or something, he was tall, basically towering over you.

He had a sweet smile on his face as he greeted you, you don’t remember much apart from his name because you might have been staring a bit too much.

Ever since then, he has been nothing but kind and friendly towards you, a little teasing here and there which would never fail to make you laugh or enjoy his company.

You wouldn’t say you were that close to know him very well, but you would say close enough to know what a great guy he was. The most of times you have talked would be outside your respective apartments and ask or tell each other about how life has been treating you, if you had a good way or not....etc.

☽✧•✩•✧☾

You walked in the familiar place which smelt strong of alcohol, but you could say that place was your second home in a way, cause, well, you were a stripper, not only because it payed well enough for you to live a comfortable life.

But also because you felt confident, you felt bold, and carefree, you enjoyed what you did, and made the right choice to never date someone you met there, because from what you’ve heard, it doesn’t turn out too pretty.

You quickly got ready, working on your job, entertaining the men, or even women that gathered there to see the beautiful strippers do their own thing.

Your experience with this hasn’t been so new but you still weren’t all too familiar with it either, you simply enjoyed the thought of people fawning over you, it boosted your ego and confidence.

You wonder a lot of things while working here, such as why people would disobey the no touching rules, well unless it’s to put the money on the waistband of what you would wear.

But now, you wondered why the fuck that same attractive and hot neighbor of yours, Yunho was here. You could’ve been wrong, that’s right, you only saw a glimpse of the familiar face as you walked behind the curtains of the stage.

And even as you went backstage, you were still curious as to what he was doing here, It’s not like you ever told you exactly where you worked. Your eyes scanned the crowd searching for your next door neighbor, to make sure you did see him.

And there was no doubt, he was sitting in the corner talking to two girls that worked there, they seemed to have taken a great interest in him, not like you were one to blame them, he was one attractive person.

The two girls left with disappointed faces as Yunho mouthed a ‘sorry’ you didn’t know what went on there but you didn’t care, what you did care about was why he was here.

“Scarlett, you’re up,” someone besides you said, you nodded to your stage name being called, getting ready for the curtains to open, “Okay everyone! Can you guess which beauty will come out the curtain tonight? And who? Will be the lucky person to get a very special lapdance from them,” the people in the club cheered shouting ‘me’.

This was quite a tradition you could say, every third Saturday of the month, they would have one of the strippers give a ‘special show’ to them for them.

And then that person may choose someone for a special lap dance for about 15 minutes, it may seem risky but it was quite the money maker.

And thankfully on all your turns, you haven’t met anyone who came off as a bit too weird or creepy for you, or maybe it was because you were simply lucky at the choosing part.

As the curtains opened, the dim lights only revealed a silhouette, yet some of the regulars already knew who it was, cheering your stage name loudly.

Your eyes laid upon Yunho under the neon lights, he seemed to be puzzled, and as you walked along the stage, you could clearly see his eyes gradually going wider as he realises it was you.

Not in a million he would have thought his literal neighbor led a career such as this, not in a bad way of course. In more of a amused shock way, he made his way closer and you panicked internally as he did, especially when he checked you out from head to toes in your fiery red attire.

And as you walked to the pole, he made direct eye contact with you, smirking at how close you were, he was being the usual little shit he was when he teases you, but this time for a different reason.

The people in the neon lit room had cheered quite loud, you wouldn’t be lying if you said that you were one of the highly requested workers there.

And as you walked closer to the front of the stage, stacks of cash were already being thrown at you, the people there trying their bet to impress you to get that special 15 minutes.

But for whatever reason, your attention was fixated on Yunho, he was relaxed, too relaxed for your liking, it was hard to ignore that he literally knows and sees you everyday but now he was in the strip club you worked at, obviously enjoying the show you were putting on.

As you walked backstage again, you emptied the impressive amount of money away. “Wow,” one of te other strippers said and you responded with a chuckle. “Anyone that caught your eye?”

“Maybe,” you say, quickly wondering how Yunho would react if you were to be giving him a private performance. You pushed those thoughts away while scolding yourself.

“So I’m going to go give this to the tall man with the checkered blazer?” one of the cocktail waitresses smirks at you, you grew shy all of a sudden, this was going to happen and there was no going back.

“Yes.”

You watched nervously as the waitress walks around the people to hand them drink and succeeded to pass the small envelope to Yunho smoothly. He took the drink along with the envelope to take out a small key with a room number on it, taking a look at it, he smiles as he looked around which he assumed was for you, while the other people that were expecting to get the envelope frowned in disappointment.

He took a sip of the colorful drink, placing it down on one of the tables and got up to go to the room that the key told him to go to. You yourself got ready, tightening the robe belt around your waist, slowly heading to the room as well.

The tall male unlocks the door, it was just like a miniature strip club, there was a pole in the middle, a mini bar at the side, a couch and a few chairs. He sits on the couch completely relaxed. But of course he couldn’t ignore how you chose him, it was an interesting turn of events.

Your feet slowly made their way to the room, hesitating to enter, but you had to, after all you were the one who chose it to be him. You knocked about three times at the door.

“Come in,” that was definitely Yunho's voice, you don’t even know why you were expecting it to be another person, you gave yourself a quick pep talk before entering, you had already gone too far for you to end up nervous and cold feet.

Encouraged, you slowly opened the door, twisting the knob with a sweaty palm. “Oh, I see so you did come,” Yunho says while you locked the door facing your back at him.

“H-hi,” now was not the time to stutter, but he seemed to enjoy it. “Do you have any...boundaries or rules or such?” he asks wanting to make sure he doesn’t make you uncomfortable.

“Oh uh, not necessarily but we aren’t supposed to perform any sexual activities here, that’s basically the rule, not that we would right?” you explained followed by an awkward chuckle, “Who knows” was all he said before getting up to take off his jacket and pulling one of the chairs out to sit on it.

You watched intently as his muscles flexed on the black shirt he wore, even under the neon lights, you could see his amazing built.

“Now don’t be shy cub, turn on the music and show me your magic, we have only 15 minutes, why not make the most of it hmm?”

“It’s easier said than done Yunho- I mean sir.” You covered your mouth as his name slipped out of your mouth.

“Well, think of it this way, you don’t know me at all, I don’t live next door to you at all, you just so happened to have laid your eyes on me and I couldn’t refuse because I also find you quite attractive.”

He was bold, that was something you learnt just now, he was so different yet gave the same vibes to how he would usually act, so listening to his advice you put aside the fact that he lived next door to you and that both of you actually knew each other in real life.

“Okay,” you said walking towards another direction to play the music, “Anything you want to play?” you never asked, you just picked what you want and got it over with.

“Oh you pick, I have a feeling I will enjoy this no matter what,” he says and you swore you could sense that he was wearing that shit eating grin.

Pull yourself together.

You faced him, walking towards him, pulling the belt of the silk robe that hid what you were wearing underneath. Yunho watched intently as you soon dropped the robe on the ground revealing you on a black piece. It was designed for a “special occasion” and he could tell.

The piece was designed quite well, hugging your body perfectly, it complimented your curves well too. As if it was made just for you.

“Woah,” he was in awe, losing his bold self for a while. “I look pretty?” you asked getting more confident by now, slowly getting down and standing up seductively again as you grazed your fingernails along his bicep.

“Very,” you giggle at his words as he kept watching you, you turned around showing him a nice view of your ass and circling around him once, going back at giving him a nice performance.

The nervousness or shyness that you felt moments ago was long gone and all you could really focus on was to impress Yunho.

He watched as you did your own thing, dancing or moving your body along with the music that played behind, finding you so beautiful.

He adored how you used your hands to feel up your own body, he gripped on your waist as you pressed your forehead to his, using your index finger to lift his chin up while rolling your body in a proactive way.

You guys shared intense eye contact, you could feel the heavy sexual tension, eating you up and trying to fight the urge of just jumping on each other. But that would break the oddly strict rule.

As you wrapped on of your legs around him, you gasped when he suddenly pulls your body down on his lap. “Is this okay?” he asks, you didn’t answer, only responding with a roll of your hips.

The friction makes you earn a groan from Yunho, that’s when you realised how small you were compared to him, you could feel his big hands on your waist, holding you tightly as his nails sunk into your flesh.

“Fuck,” he curses as you wrapped your other leg around him. He looked at you in the eyes, his other hand snaking up your waist to hold you. “What?” he asks, confused but loving the situation.

You delivered another roll of your hips to his clothed shaft, his grip tightens around your waist again. Without thinking twice, you broke the little space between your lips and connecting them, welcoming him into a steamy make out.

He hums in the kiss as you kept grinding onto him, you could feel his prominent bulge growing with each grinding or roll of your hips.

His hands were now situated on either side of your thighs, caressing them, and then up to your waist, guiding you to move faster.

With the thin material you wore, you could feel his bulge pressing onto your arousal, creating a slight friction for you as well.

“You’re even prettier up close cub,” he says after you pull away from the kiss to take some breath, then pressing your lips against his once again. His hands now combed through your hair to pull you closer deepening the kiss, while your arms were wrapped around his neck.

He explored your mouth with content while you rolled your hips down to him, not failing to earn a low hum or groan from him every time you did.

You pulled away once again, readjusting yourself on his lap in a way that would create more friction for the both of you. And just as you were about to dive into another kiss-

“Scarlett? It’s time,” one of the other stripper’s voice said from behind the door. Both you and Yunho looked towards the door. “Shit, they ruined it,” you cursed standing up and picking up the robe to wear it again.

“That was amazing, you should’ve told me you were a great kisser,” he winks at you and you scoff at his playfulness even after you almost fucking fucked.

“Y-yeah I’ll be out in a sec,” you said, perhaps the time had passed too much that some people started to get suspicious of what was happening being the locked door.

“Thanks, for coming Yunho, unfortunately I have to go,” you said leaving as he waved at you with a smile, getting up as well.

As you walked out, you fixed your hair and what you were wearing, your hands felt a piece of paper on the waistband. It seemed that Yunho had put it, you weren’t even sure when.

Let’s meet again tomorrow, there’s my number, text me.

You read the paper with the phone number, that’s when you realised that you haven’t gotten his number, a part of you was impressed on how he managed to put that there without you knowing, and another part of you wondered when he took the time to write that.

But that didn’t really matter as of now, what did matter though was how much you enjoyed your little fun with Yunho.

You were stoked to meet him again.

Taglist: @amangooo, @yeo-hehet , @zen626, @enivivs, @yungisstar1117-writes (lemme know if I missed you, if you wanted to be added or removed or anything)

·—☽✧•°♡°•✧☾—·

#Lune’s requests [📮]#ateez ff #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #ateez x reader #kpop smut #yunho ff #yunho fanfic #yunho smut #yunho x reader

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bestofbucky · 4 years ago

Text

Eavesdrop

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: none really, enemies to ?

A/N: This is my first time posting something I have written. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much @tuiccim for your help, couldn’t have done it without you.

Being an Avenger is tough. Of course, there are the obvious missions and kicking ass that are exhausting, especially because you don’t have any sort of enhancements or powers. You are just a regular human being, fighting with and against some not so regular human beings. Naturally when you have downtime, you spend it doing things with the least amount of effort. Watching Netflix, listening to music, taking baths, etc, meaning that your social life outside of the compound was, to put it simply, non-existent.

You had just returned from the worst date of your life, well, one of the top five worst dates of your life. Over the past couple of months Steve and Natasha had grown tired of you whining about being single but not making any effort to change it and began sending you on blind dates. Somehow, they managed five different times to find five completely awful people. This time they had set you up with Arthur, a recruit for SHIELD and a good one at that. You wouldn’t be surprised to see him on the elite squad soon, but when it came to your date, he was really blunt and inappropriate, and you had cringed your way through the entire thing.

Once you got back to the compound, you first went to your room to get changed into gym clothes for training with Nat, then headed to her room. On your way you passed one of the common rooms and heard two voices. One familiar but one you didn’t recognise, you decided to check it out and found Steve and another man.

Steve called your name inviting you over to them as they both stood up. ‘This is Bucky. He’s moving in today to begin training.’ Steve explains. You nod and smile at Bucky, remembering Steve told you about him and that he would be living here and eventually joining the team.

You have to stop yourself from gasping out loud at the sight of him. He is a 6 ft something hunk of muscle and beauty and you can’t stop yourself from trying to take him all in with your eyes.

Steve then introduces you to Bucky who looks in your eyes for all of two seconds to say, ‘hi’ before looking down at his feet. He is probably really nervous. Even from that two second glance, you could tell he had one hell of a past. They had you hooked already, you wanted to stare into those eyes and let them tell you the stories of the lifetime they had seen.

‘You were just in Wakanda right? How was it? I have only ever seen it in pictures but I really want to go.’ You let your excitement show, hoping to relax him a bit.

‘Yeah, it was nice. I was frozen for most of it though’ Shit, he curses himself. He didn’t mean to come across so rude but he was really nervous, you are really pretty and it is messing with his head a little. It doesn’t help that he has had to meet a lot of different people today and he is all socialised out. He sees your face fall slightly before you quickly compose yourself, any normal person would have missed it but he has his past of being a trained assassin.

‘Well, Nat is probably waiting for me, she told me she would show me some new moves today.’ You say realising that Bucky had probably been under a lot of stress lately and most likely just wanted to be alone, or with Steve rather than chatting to you, a stranger. At least you hoped this was the reason and it wasn’t that he already disliked you. Saying goodbye to the two of them you head off to Natasha’s room.

Not even bothering to knock, you walk into her room leaving the door open behind you, since you’ll be heading down to the gym soon anyway. Natasha is sitting on the end of the bed braiding her hair. ‘You almost ready?’ You ask.

‘Yeah, just got to finish my hair then put my shoes on.’ She tells you so you take a seat on her bed while you wait.

Meanwhile, Bucky told Steve that he wanted to go get his room sorted. Really it was just an excuse to be alone for a little while. On the way there he walked past a room with the door open and heard two voices talking, recognising them to be you and Natasha. He was just about to carry on walking to his room when he heard Natasha ask, ‘did you meet him yet?’

Bucky assumed she was talking about him and wanted to hear what you had to say. He hoped you would be understanding of his reticence after his taxing morning.

‘Yeah, I met him today.’ You sigh and roll your eyes.

‘That bad?’ Nat asks, raising her eyebrows with a slight smirk on her face.

‘Yes, I tried to be as friendly as I could but he seemed like a jerk.’ You huff.

‘How so?’

‘He was so blunt he just came across really rude. I had high expectations, especially after hearing Steve say so many nice things about him.’

‘Maybe he was just having a bad day?’ She attempts a defence.

‘Bad day or not, he should have the courtesy to smile and be polite even if it is fake.’

Bucky was so hurt to hear this. Yes, he wasn’t the nicest to you but your reaction seemed a bit dramatic. He didn’t want to hear you say any more so he rushed off to his room.

‘So, I guess you aren’t going to go on a second date with him then?’ Nat asks.

‘No, I really appreciate you and Steve trying to set me up but seeing as this is the 5th time and none of them were any good, I think I’ll go back to my old methods.’ You smile at her.

‘What, never putting yourself out there and waiting for the right person to just fall into your lap?’ Nat teases and you both laugh when you nod. She finishes tying her shoelaces and you head off to the gym.

The next day you were leading a meeting of recruits who have the potential to be moved up into the squad that worked with the Avengers. The elite squad. Unfortunately for you, Arthur was in the group of recruits and was probably the next one to be promoted. You finally dismissed everyone and started getting your stuff together to leave as well when Arthur came up to you.

‘What’s the word on who is moving up next, dove?’ You look up in shock, surely, he didn’t just call you dove.

‘Excuse me?’ You look him dead in the eye.

‘I said what’s the word on who is moving up next? I think you might need to get your hearing checked.’ He laughs at his own joke so you fake laugh with him.

‘That’s confidential., we’ll let everyone know when we have made the decision.’ You say and go to walk past him but he grabs your arm.

‘Does someone need a little convincing. If it’s you, then I can think of some ways.’ He whispers seductively in your ear. You pull your arm out of his grasp and frown at him.

‘I’m only joking, dove, come on, you can’t even take a joke?’ He laughs again.

You put on your best fake smile and your customer service voice. ‘There will be no convincing necessary. You are a good agent but you also have good competition. We will inform you all of our decision when it is made.’ You say and quickly turn and walk out the door before he can say anything else. When you get into the lift you ask FRIDAY where Steve is.

‘Common room A, Agent Y/L/N’. You make your way there as quick as possible. Heading around the corner, you slam into a solid object. You hiss at the contact on your fresh bruises, a frown appearing on your face. As soon as you look up to see what or who you bumped into, the frown quickly fades into a smile when you see its Bucky. He is already looking at you.

‘Sorry I should have been watching where I was going.’ He mumbles quickly.

‘No, it’s just as much my fault as yours. I shouldn’t have been in such a hurry.’ You apologise to him. As much as you would love to stay and chat with Bucky, you need to get to Steve to explain what just happened with Arthur and hopefully you can get him kicked off the team.

Bucky had left his room to try and find someone to help him figure out a few things with FRIDAY but as soon as he bumped into you that completely left his mind. You were all that filled his mind ever since he met you. He stood in the hallway for a while before realising he should ask you to help. Maybe this would be a good excuse to make up for his poor first impression. He heads in the direction you went but stops short when he hears your voice.

‘I think he bruised me. The dick.’ You say and Steve frowns at you ‘Come on, Steve. I’m allowed to be angry. He has been nothing but a jerk to me,’ you explain and shift to get more comfortable.

‘What did you say to him when he did this?’ Steve asks, holding your arm and examining the newly formed bruises in the shapes of fingers.

‘I put on my best fake smile and pretended like everything was ok,’ You joke and Steve laughs, ‘as much as I hate the guy, I don’t have the confidence to actually show it.’ You sigh and Steve pulls your sleeve back down and leans back into the sofa. ‘Is there any way we can kick him off the team?’ You exaggerate batting your eyelashes at him.

‘He isn’t even on the team yet and you already want to kick him off?’ Steve questions.

‘Yes! I really don’t like him. I know he is your friend but I trust him about as far as I can throw him’ You explain and Steve nods.

Bucky had heard enough. He can’t believe you could be so horrible. You had the sweetest exterior and, from first impressions, you didn’t look like you could hurt a fly. But as he heard you say, you clearly put on a fake act to come across as polite and kind when really you are rude deep down. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you. Twice now. But he is so glad he did, because now he knows not to waste his energy on you. He knows what you think of him and he has formed his opinion of you. He hurries back to his room.

‘He’s not my friend Y/N, I only said that to you to make you go on the date with an open mind. I’ve only ever had one conversation with the guy,’ Steve jokes and you playfully push his arm, ‘All jokes aside, his behaviour breaks a lot of conduct rules and is a good enough reason to have him knocked down a few squads.’ Steve replies and you sigh with relief. You hug Steve and thank him for his help, he’s taken slightly off guard but hugs you back before you go your separate ways.

A few weeks later, you walk into the kitchen to find the whole team eating their breakfast. Sam is cooking and when he sees you, he makes a plate and hands it to you.

‘Thank you Sam.’ You hug him and take the plate, turning around at the sound of Bucky’s scoff. You haven’t had a conversation with Bucky since you bumped into each other in the hallway. You had tried to but he either completely ignored you or just rolled his eyes and left the room.

At first it hurt, you wondered if you had done something wrong. The team seemed just as confused by it as you. Bucky didn’t have a problem with anyone else. That wasn’t to say he was extremely friendly with them, he wasn’t there yet and nobody blamed him but he could hold conversation with the others. He even laughed at their jokes. You were starting to get fed up with it so after breakfast you headed to Bucky’s room to talk to him. You knocked on the door and it wasn’t long until he answered it. As soon as he saw you his face fell visibly.

‘Can we talk?’ You asked hoping he would let you into his room. He paused to consider it then stepped out of his room, closing the door behind him. He stood there with his arms crossed and waited for you to talk.

‘Is there something I did wrong?’ You ask him and he keeps a blank face.

‘Why do you care?’ He asks still arms crossed over his body.

‘I care because you are always scoffing or rolling your eyes at me whenever I try to talk to you.’

‘I’m not scoffing or rolling my eyes now.’ He points out.

‘No but you’re not exactly being very friendly.’

‘Would you prefer for me to fake it then? Just put on a smile and pretend to like you?’ He jabs. You take a moment to process what he just said. You didn’t realise he could be so mean.

‘No Bucky I would prefer for you to maybe make an effort to get to know me before making a judgement.’ You scowl at him.

‘I have a perfectly fine judgement of you. I am not going to fall for your fake smiles and fake friendships.’ Bucky snarls and walks back into his room closing his door in your face. You are left to stand there in shock.

On the other side of the door Bucky is leaning there conflicted. The shock on your face looked so genuine. No, he has to remember it is all an act with you.

From that day on you decided you weren’t going to make an effort with him. It wasn’t the most mature decision but you were tired. What used to be eye rolls and scoffs, now turned into snarky comments and you were no longer afraid to throw them right back at him.

Steve had tried a few times to talk to you about it but, when he couldn’t tell you why Bucky hated you, he realised there was nothing he could do to change how either of you felt about the other. What he could do was change up your schedules so the two of you were rarely ever in the same room together.

Unfortunately, instead of the arguments happening quite calmly but consistently over the course of the whole day. They were now much shorter, confined to just mealtimes, and much more heated and intense. None of the team knew which was worse.

You were sparring in the gym with Natasha trying to work off some steam from this morning’s argument with Bucky.

‘Your moves are sloppy, get whatever is making you emotional out of your head.’ She grunts at you but this only forces you further into your head.

You go hard at her, but she blocks every move so you go to defence. She smirks at you, ‘Has a certain super soldier got into your head?’

That causes a surge of anger to hit you and again you go hard at Natasha, but your anger only allows her to catch you off balance and you are pinned to the mat in a matter of seconds.

‘So it is Barnes.’ She pulls you up and you brush yourself off before getting back into a fighting stance.

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ You grunt at her and start your attack. Your moves are still predictable and anger clouds your mind. You feel yourself getting more and more worked up with every hit she blocks.

You retreat to take a breather, you hear the door open and you glance over, the man of the hour has just entered and you roll your eyes but continue to spar with Natasha.

Out the corner of your eye, you see him make his way over to you both, watching as you take a lot of hits from her and barely manage to land any of your own.

‘I have seen toddlers fight better than you Y/N.’ You hear him chuckle.

‘I don’t need your opinion.’ You grunt, still trying to keep your focus on Natasha.

‘Fight like that on the field and you’ll be dead in two seconds.’

‘Keep talking and you’ll wish you were dead.’

He laughs ‘Is that a threat?’ You ignore him and continue sparring. ‘Your punches are so weak, how did you become an Avenger again?’ He is still smiling knowing exactly which buttons to push.

You stop and make your way over to him. ‘I became an Avenger because of my talent and my strength, that I worked hard to earn.’ You are right up in his face, almost chest to chest. You are breathing hard, partly from the exercise but mostly because of how riled up you are. You notice he is breathing hard as well, his breath fanning across your face.

Your mind can’t help but drift, is this what he would look like in bed, his chest rising and falling faster than normal. Small beads of sweat gathered at his hairline from his recent run. You suddenly realise how close the two of you are and force the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. You hate how seeing him so riled up is actually a huge turn on. How could you let yourself be attracted to such an asshole?

‘You wouldn’t stand a chance against me.’ His voice drops so low that in a different circumstance you would have happily dropped your panties.

‘You’re right. I wouldn’t stand a chance against you and your metal arm that you were given. Or you and the super soldier serum that you were given.’ You know they are cheap shots but you just couldn’t help how absolutely fuming he makes you. He had managed to get under your skin and the thought of him being successful only made you angrier.

He leans down even more, your noses almost touching ‘I don’t know how everyone else can’t see through your little nice act. You pretend to be so kind on the outside but deep down you’re a bitch.’ Ouch. You deserved that one for what you said to him but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Especially because if you were hooked up to a lie detector and asked to say those things again, it would flash up as a blatant lie. However, looking into his eyes there was not an ounce of regret for what he said.

Bucky knew he shouldn’t have said what he did, but you had hit a nerve and it was the only thing he could think to say back. He saw the hurt flash across your eyes but it was too late to take it back now. The only thing he could do was exit the situation before it got any worse. He turned on his heels and left the room, leaving you standing there in complete shock at your exchange.

Natasha calls your name but you quickly leave for your room before anyone can see you like this.

The team was split all across the base. This wasn’t how you would usually handle missions but as soon as you arrived the mission started to go sideways.

‘Target headed towards the west elevator. Anyone nearby copy?’ You hear Steve’s voice through comms.

‘I'm on it.’ You say back, your comms crackling more than usual.

‘Copy that.’ Bucky said, his comms crackling from the two of you talking at the same time.

The rest of the team had heard both of your voices but neither of you had heard the other. So it was a big shock when you were waiting for the elevator and you heard his voice behind you.

‘You have got to be kidding me.’ He sighs and slowly walks up to you to wait for the elevator as well. ‘Did you not hear me say I got it?’ He snaps at you.

‘No because I was the one that said I’m on it.’ You snap back and thankfully the elevator dings it’s arrival. Normally in creepy Hydra bases you would avoid elevators but seeing as there was no stairwell nearby, this was the only option.

‘Age before beauty.’ You say to him, gesturing to the elevator.

‘Very funny’ he says sarcastically before stepping inside. You follow after him and press the only floor button available.

Silence permeates the small space as you prepare for what’s to happen once the doors open. Instead, the elevator jerks to a stop.

‘No.’ You panic and start pressing the floor button over and over. ‘No no no no no.’ Nothing is working.

‘Let me try.’ Bucky says pushing you out of the way, you so badly want to say something but the only thing you can focus on is the fact you might be trapped. Bucky taps the button and looks around for anything else to press but there is nothing. You can feel yourself start to get light headed as claustrophobia takes hold and the thought of falling to your death in this metal box takes over your thoughts. You shrink down onto the floor and hold your head in your hands.

‘Do you always have to be so dramatic?’ Bucky huffs. You don’t answer him, the only thing you can think about is the pain starting in your chest and your breathing getting heavier.

‘Stop breathing so fast. You are going to make yourself pass out.’ Bucky grunts but when you don’t reply or make any effort to slow your breathing he gets worried. He kneels down in front of you ‘Hey? Doll? Can you hear me?’ You can’t answer him, you just feel the impending doom and the immense pressure on your chest. ‘I’m going to move your hands.’ He announces then you feel him take your hands and pull them away from your face. You look at him, tears in your eyes, a look of pure fear across your face. ‘Breathe with me, doll. Can you do that?’ He asks and you manage to nod. He speeds his breathing up to your pace then gradually slows it, you follow him as best as you can and eventually you get your breathing back to normal, with the occasional hiccup or sharp intake.

Once he sees you are ok, he lets go of your hands and sits on the floor as far away as he can. You both continue to sit in silence.

‘Thank you.’ You eventually manage to whisper, he nods without meeting your eye.

You can’t help but feel disappointed, you just got to see a caring side of Bucky and it felt amazing to be on the receiving end of it, but now you are back to him not giving a shit about you. You go back and forth wondering whether it is the right time to bring up the issues between you two. If not now, when?

‘Why do you hate me so much?’ He looks across at you and sighs before he answers.

‘I don’t hate you.’

‘Yes you do. It seems like you go out of your way to make me miserable.’ You push, making him lean his head back on the wall behind him.

‘I don’t hate you. I just don’t like how you formed opinions about me so early on. You wanted me off the team before I even got cleared to be on the team.’ Bucky explains. You stare at him in confusion.

‘How do you know what opinions I formed of you? I may have wanted you off the team but it was only because you were mean and that was after you were cleared.’ You could feel yourself starting to get angry.

‘Then how come I overheard you talking about the first time we met to Nat, you said I was blunt and rude. Then after I accidentally bumped into you, you told Steve you wanted me off the team.’ Bucky says agitatedly.

‘I never-‘ you think back to any conversations you had with Nat and Steve about Bucky. The only ones that came to mind were asking them if they knew why Bucky didn’t like you. Then it hits you, he had overheard you talking to Steve and Nat about Arthur. You sighed.

‘Let me guess, you overheard me and Nat talking not long after we first met. We were in Nat’s room getting ready to go train?’ You ask and he nods.

‘Then the conversation you overheard with Steve was straight after we bumped into each other. We were in the common room?’ Bucky looks confused but nods again.

‘You are such a prick. You eavesdrop but don’t even listen long enough to hear who we were talking about.’ You can’t help but chuckle at the situation, even though it’s not particularly funny.

‘What?’ Bucky looks more confused than ever.

‘Well, if you had listened properly to the whole conversation you would know I was talking about that asshat agent, Arthur.’ That came out more blunt than you intended.

‘The recruit that got bumped down a few squads even though he is really good?’

‘Yep. That’s the one’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Before you came Steve and Nat had been setting me up on blind dates with people. Arthur was the fifth one, I really didn’t want to go so Steve convinced me by saying they were friends and all this nice stuff about him.’ You pause to take a deep breath. ‘The day we met, I had just come from the date with him and it was awful. That's what me and Nat were talking about. Then when we bumped into each other in the hallway, I had just come from a meeting with the recruits. Arthur had been inappropriate and he hurt my arm, I was rushing to Steve to tell him and ask if he can be kicked off the team.’ You finally manage to say and Bucky just looks at you. You can see the cogs turning in his head as he is finally getting context to the snippets of conversation he overheard.

‘Shit. I am so sorry. I am such an idiot.’ He scolds himself and you can’t help but feel bad for him.

‘I am not going to disagree with you, but we have both said and done some pretty nasty stuff. I am sorry for any hurt I caused you.’ You say sincerely and he looks over to you and smiles.

‘So you didn’t think I was rude when we first met?’ He still holds your eye contact and you take a moment to look at him. You have never seen him look so vulnerable before, he almost looked scared.

‘No, Bucky, I thought you were probably nervous or tired from meeting loads of new people.’ You explain and his shoulders fall.

‘I feel like such a jerk.’ He sighs and you scoot yourself closer to him so he has to look at you.

‘I’m not all that innocent in this either. It was a misunderstanding. I am just glad we have cleared it up now.’ You say meaning it and he smiles earnestly back at you. It is something you have never experienced first-hand. You have seen him give those gorgeous, slightly lopsided, smiles to other people but seeing one directed at you causes a rush of heat to your cheeks and you find yourself blushing.

Bucky must have been thinking along the same lines ‘You’re cute when you blush. I have never seen this side of you before.’ He brushes some hair out of your face and behind your ear. ‘You know, part of the reason I was so nervous when I first met you was because I was taken off guard by how beautiful you are.’ His cheeks flush slightly at his confession.

Before you can say anything the elevator jerks again and starts moving, you and Bucky are quick on your feet, preparing yourself for the doors to open.

When they finally do you are met with a group of Hydra agents ready to attack. You and Bucky work in tandem, playing off each other’s strengths. When the Hydra agents realize this, they work to separate you. The majority of them are on Bucky but you are fighting four at once. You are onto the last one when he raises his gun to shoot but you force his arm down. Not quick enough, it fires and clips your calf causing you to cry out from the pain

It is not as bad as actually being shot in the leg but it still hurts like hell and you can’t put pressure on it. The room is pretty silent apart from footsteps you recognise to be Bucky approaching. You move quickly and uppercut the guy in the nose. The crack echoes throughout the room as the guy falls to the floor at your feet.

You turn to Bucky, his mouth agape and eyebrows raised in shock. ‘That was hot.’ He announces finally, making you laugh, you go to take a step towards him but realise too late that your injured leg won’t hold your weight. You would have fallen to the floor if Bucky hadn’t rushed to catch you.

‘Thanks.’ You chuckle, your faces are extremely close. Your eyes completely entranced in his. Your whole body warms at the safe feeling of being in his arms. You start to wonder what it would be like to fall asleep in these arms, to wake up the next morning still wrapped up in them. Protected.

You force yourself back to reality by clearing your throat. ‘We should probably get back to the team.’ You say and he nods. He puts his arm around your waist and you put yours over his shoulders to use him as a crutch.

The ride back up in the elevator goes smoothly this time and before you know it you are hobbling up to the quinjet where the rest of the team awaits. Natasha and Steve are both looking back and forth from you to Bucky in confusion.

‘What the hell happened?’ Steve asks not trying to hide how baffled he is that you and Bucky are holding onto each other and not arguing. Natasha simply smirks. Bucky helps you into a seat then sits opposite you with a wink as you smile at him.

‘No, this is too weird. Please argue, bicker, roll your eyes. Anything.’ Sam begs Bucky who doesn’t break his eye contact with you. Bucky simply laughs knowing his behaviour is unsettling Sam and enjoying the newfound comradery with you.

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vampkomori · 3 years ago

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i think with the information were given by the reports, we can figure out what Joshua may have been doing in the 3 years leading up to neo

i think the key lies in this specific part of neo’s reports

neo’s game resembles that of the game 3 years ago, though most specifically being point 2. The absence of the Composer

these are the circumstances of the game in the og reports. Notably, the only difference in circumstances being the mention of the Composers limitation of abilities (which is implied by his absence), and direct interference by the Executor.

As noted in both reports, Joshua is not allowed to interfere in the goings-on of the UG. To further prevent any potential meddling on his part, the Composer is required to leave the UG. As hes likely unable to/not allowed to tune into the frequency of the Higher Plane, and its specifically mentioned that he travels from the UG to the RG in the og reports, this means Joshua is residing in the RG while the Game is ongoing in neo.

Theres 3 points to address about this situation:

The limitation of his abilities, and what this might have to do with his appearance

The consequences his absence has on the UG

What he may have done in the 3 years the game was ongoing

First we should brush up on what his abilities actually entail

Usually, he can at least somewhat see the future. This ability is entirely absent when in the RG, he can draw conclusions about what might happen based on observations, but he cant predict the exact outcome. Note that this ability is specifically limited when hes downtuned. So when he looks like a normal guy and not a glowing blur in the shape of a person. Meaning that when he actually appears in the UG at the end of neo, he still cant see the future, and doesnt know whats going to happen.

As for the matter of his appearance, Reapers dont age. As seen in the ntwewy official guidebook, the reapers in og twewy are the same age as they are in neo. Sho is still 18, kariya is still 19, uzuki is still 17, etc. it doesn’t make sense for Reapers, who are so far beneath the Composer, not to age, but the Composer for some reason does?

BUT Joshuas been physically in the RG for the past 3 years, so its possible that that is the reason he aged. Post-neo he can stay in the UG again, so its possible hes going to remain physically 18 when he downtunes now. Think of it as like, time passes and causes his body to age as anyone else in the RG, but time stops in the UG, because it’s the “dead zone”

the reason neku aged while in Shinjuku is because Shinjuku is neither in the UG or the RG, it is in its own plane of existence. That plane just so happened to have time that passes, which lets you age like the RG would. (this might also be partially the reason why Coco is 19 of all ages in neo, even though she looks middle school aged in A New Day, 3 years ago. With her occasionally popping in for who-knows-how-long into Shinjuku to visit neku, she aged the amount of time she spent there most likely)

Anyway, it does not make sense for joshua to be able to choose what age he appears as when he downtunes. The reports specifically say he looks younger when he downtunes, and that its fortunate this prevents him from being recognized by reapers. Meaning that this is more of a happy accident and not purposeful in the slightest.

i know that one guidebook comment by Nomura has him state Joshuas appearance was to match Neku in appearance, but this was likely a design choice and not a willful decision by Joshua himself. You can interpret it however you like, but nothing in-canon ever points to Joshua being able to control his appearance when he downtunes, ever

Next up are the consequences of joshuas absence in the UG.

The Composer is the one who writes and changes the rules of the UG. Considering that in neo, the rules of the game were very much rewritten to match those of Shinjuku, it seems theres uh. Something kinda unlawful going on there. Which ill touch on in a moment, but first, more importantly, with joshuas absence in the UG and residing in the RG instead, the UG has been functionally without a Composer for 3 years, and therefore his established rules made invalid.

This should mean the UG should collapse, i mean, in og twewy he was only able to be absent for 3 weeks before the UG started to get somewhat unstable already. So theres no way the UG would be able to hold up without a Composer for 3 years……. unless?

An emergency call.

With Uzuki being made temporary Conductor and Game Master (neo uses these two terms interchangeably, for some reason) post-og twewy, she likely upheld Joshuas UG rules until Shiba usurped her. With Shiba being directly influenced by Kubo, he likely seized control over the UG instantly by issuing an Emergency call, which suspended Joshuas rules and gave complete authority to Shiba. Thus Shiba was able to completely rewrite the UG’s rules as if he were the Composer.

Small things such as the new appearance of the walls put up by wall reapers (now black thorns, and not just transparent walls), the new decals being two sets of poorly scribbled skulls, and the new Reaper Skull and its pins, all point to having been designed by Shiba, and then made by Kubo.

With Joshua not being allowed to intervene in the UG while his game with Kubo was ongoing, he also cannot ask his Producer to make pins, decals, etc. (especially since Hanekoma is also forbidden from intervening). That means Shiba wasn’t able to contact him to do it, either (or even knows he exists).

Hanekoma notes that as an Angel, Kubo is able to prepare special pins at will, so its likely this also extends to more than just pins.

Funnily enough this also means Shiba never even met Joshua despite being Shibuyas Conductor.

Though Joshua most likely wouldnt be allowed to even interact with his opponent’s proxy in the first place, its also hilarious to think Kubo never told Shiba about a Conductors responsibility to the Composer, or that its unusual the Composer never contacted him to contact the Reapers.

So, Joshua wasn’t exactly able to interject to the changes to his rules. His authority was literally overwritten by an emergency call due to his mandatory absence because of his game. (crappy loophole if u ask me)

Then what was Joshua doing for 3 years?

Staying in the RG in some way or form.

But most importantly, he mustve interacted with Beat, Rhyme, and Shiki for a significant amount of his stay.

the fact that Shiki refers to him as “Josh” points to her having gotten to know him well enough to refer to him as that nickname, especially since she never even met him in og twewy, and was only told about him by Neku.

in this same scene in jp, Beat calls him by his actual name “Joshua”, which is also notable for Beat, since he didnt even remember uzuki’s or kariya’s names after 3 years, and referred to joshua by a nickname when he was hounding him and neku during week 2 as a reaper in og twewy. which once again points to Beat having gotten to know him well enough to actually use his first name.

Theres also the matter of Beat, Rhyme and Shiki living outside of Shibuya.

we know that Beat and Rhyme must have lived near Miyashita Park in og twewy, because their accident happens by the Miyashita Park Underpass after Beat storms out after an argument with their parents. but in neo, Rhyme has to get to shibuya via train, and Beat tells her to go home and away from shibuya to stay safe, which means they mustve moved away from Shibuya sometime during these 3 years.

its likely Joshua may have a hand in them moving away (possibly because he mightve wanted to at least make sure Neku’s friends were safe from his game’s consequences after he returned Neku to the RG)

their move away from shibuya is significant because shiki is often away from shibuya as well. which notably means that all of nekus friends are safe from shibuyas potential destruction if joshua were to lose his game (again)

Shiki is often away from shibuya due to work, and while she does ardently pursue her dreams of becoming a fashion designer, this decision was likely encouraged by Joshua as well. though shiki does occasionally return to wait by hachiko for Neku, she might also have visited Joshua too. two birds one stone. or joshua bothered her whenever she was by hachiko, and eventually formed a friendship, which then extended to beat and rhyme.

this would also explain why Beat never suggests looking for the Composer in neo, because he knows Joshuas stuck in the RG and cant intervene.

as to why joshua doesnt intervene even though he was So eager to do so in og twewy... we dont know. in the reports, hanekoma suggests that it mightve been to teach shibuya a lesson about responsibility, but thats. kinda stupid honestly. i imagine the real reason might be tied to the Higher Plane and its politics, especially since Hanekoma mentions that the reason Hazuki intervened mightve been to bait Joshua into acting. which is weird on all accounts, since haz looks up to joshua as his senior and tells him he intervened to earn his forgiveness. so why hanekoma even got this impression might be related to him being in the Higher Plane and thus knowing more about the tension related to Joshua and his actions amongst the angels.

anyway, this concludes my case

#ntwewy spoilers #neo the world ends with you #neo twewy #twewy meta #underground and realground #joshua kiryu #vampymori.txt #i dont have any funky tags to add this round i rly said all there is to say abt the topic at this current time #i Sincerely believe its the case that joshua became friends with beat rhyme and shiki over the 3 years leading up to neo #and im Especially interested in exploring the potential bitterness neku might feel @ joshua for having gotten to know HIS friends #for longer and possibly even more closely than neku was able to before he was shot and sent to the UG again #especially since joshua was the one who sent him away for so long in the first place even if it was done for his own safety #i just really really love. the concept of joshua being good friends with beat and shiki #and neku hearing them know things abt joshua that HE doesnt even know #and hearing joshua know things about beat n shiki that HE doesnt know. even though he SHOULD because theyre HIS friends #LIKE!!! THE SPICE. THE BITTERNESS. THE GUILT OF FEELING THAT WAY.#not like neku would be miserable for long bc beat would NOT let this happen. hes going to cheer his homie up stat #but mmmm tension... guilt... consequences...

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samwisethewitch · 5 years ago

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Cults? In my life? It’s more likely than you think.

In my last post, I talked about how the Law of Attraction and Christian prosperity gospel both use the same thought control techniques as cults. I’ve received several public and private replies to that post: some expressing contempt for “sheeple” who can be lead astray by cults, and others who say my post made them scared that they might be part of a cult without knowing it.

I want to address both of those types of replies in this post. I want to talk about what a cult really looks like, and how you can know if you’re dealing with one.

If you type the word “cult” into Google Images, it will bring up lots of photos of people with long hair, wearing all white, with their hands raised in an expression of ecstasy.

Most modern cults do not look anything like this.

Modern cultists look a lot like everyone else. One of the primary goals of most cults is recruitment, and it’s hard to get people to join your cause if they think you and your group are all Kool-Aid-drinking weirdos. The cults that last are the ones that manage to convince people that they’re just like everyone else — a little weird maybe, but certainly not dangerous.

In the book The Road to Jonestown: Jim Jones and Peoples Temple, author Jeff Guinn says, “In years to come, Jim Jones would frequently be compared to murderous demagogues such as Adolf Hitler and Charles Manson. These comparisons completely misinterpret, and historically misrepresent, the initial appeal of Jim Jones to members of Peoples Temple. Jones attracted followers by appealing to their better instincts.”

You might not know Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple by name, but you’ve probably heard their story. They’re the Kool-Aid drinkers I mentioned earlier. Jones and over 900 of his followers, including children, committed mass suicide by drinking Flavor Aid mixed with cyanide.

In a way, the cartoonish image of cults in popular media has helped real-life cults to stay under the radar and slip through people’s defenses.

In her book Recovering Agency: Lifting the Veil of Mormon Mind Control, Luna Lindsey says: “These groups use a legion of persuasive techniques in unison, techniques that strip away the personality to build up a new group pseudopersonality. New members know very little about the group’s purpose, and most expectations remain unrevealed. People become deeply involved, sacrificing vast amounts of time and money, and investing emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and socially.”

Let’s address some more common myths about cults:

Myth #1: All cults are Satanic or occult in nature. This mostly comes from conservative Christians, who may believe that all non-Christian religions are inherently cultish in nature and are in league with the Devil. This is not the case — most non-Christians don’t even believe in the Devil, much less want to sign away their souls to him. Many cults use Christian theology to recruit members, and some of these groups (Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, etc.) have become popular enough to be recognized as legitimate religions. Most cults have nothing to do with magic or the occult.

Myth #2: All cults are religious. This is also false. While some cults do use religion to recruit members or push an agenda, many cults have no religious or spiritual element. Political cults are those founded around a specific political ideology. Author and cult researcher Janja Lalich is a former member of an American political cult founded on the principles of Marxism. There are also “cults of personality” built around political figures and celebrities, such as Adolf Hitler, Chairman Mao, and Donald Trump. In these cases, the cult is built around hero worship of the leader — it doesn’t really matter what the leader believes or does.

Myth #3: All cults are small fringe groups. Cults can be any size. Some cults have only a handful of members — it’s even possible for parents to use thought control techniques on their children, essentially creating a cult that consists of a single family. There are some cults that have millions of members (see previous note about Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses).

Myth #4: All cults live on isolated compounds away from mainstream society. While it is true that all cults isolate their members from the outside world, very few modern cults use physical isolation. Many cults employ social isolation, which makes members feel separate from mainstream society. Some cults do this by encouraging their followers to be “In the world but not of the world,” or encouraging them to keep themselves “pure.”

Myth #5: Only stupid, gullible, and/or mentally ill people join cults. Actually, according to Luna Lindsey, the average cult member is of above-average intelligence. As cult expert Steven Hassan points out, “Cults intentionally recruit ‘valuable’ people—they go after those who are intelligent, caring, and motivated. Most cults do not want to be burdened by unintelligent people with serious emotional or physical problems.” The idea that only stupid or gullible people fall for thought control is very dangerous, because it reinforces the idea that “it could never happen to me.” This actually prevents intelligent people from thinking critically about the information they’re consuming and the groups they’re associating with, which makes them easier targets for cult recruitment.

So, now that we have a better idea of what a cult actually looks like, how do you know if you or someone you know is in one?

A good rule of thumb is to compare the group’s actions and teachings to Steven Hassan’s BITE Model. Steven Hassan is an expert on cult psychology, and most cult researchers stand by this model. From Hassan’s website, freedomofmind.com: “Based on research and theory by Robert Jay Lifton, Margaret Singer, Edgar Schein, Louis Jolyon West, and others who studied brainwashing in Maoist China as well as cognitive dissonance theory by Leon Festinger, Steven Hassan developed the BITE Model to describe the specific methods that cults use to recruit and maintain control over people. ‘BITE’ stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control.”

Behavior Control may include…

Telling you how to behave, and enforcing behavior with rewards and punishments. (Rewards may be nonphysical concepts like “salvation” or “enlightenment,” or social rewards like group acceptance or an elevated status within the group. Punishments may also be nonphysical, like “damnation,” or may be social punishments like judgement from peers or removal from the group.)

Dictating where and with whom you live. (This includes pressure to move closer to other group members, even if you will be living separately.)

Controlling or restricting your sexuality. (Includes enforcing chastity or abstinence and/or coercion into non-consensual sex acts.)

Controlling your clothing or hairstyle. (Even if no one explicitly tells you, you may feel subtle pressure to look like the rest of the group.)

Restricting leisure time and activities. (This includes both demanding participation in frequent group activities and telling you how you should spend your free time.)

Requiring you to seek permission for major decisions. (Again, even if you don’t “need” permission, you may feel pressure to make decisions that will be accepted by the group.)

And more.

Information Control may include…

Withholding or distorting information. (This may manifest as levels of initiation, with only the “inner circle” or upper initiates being taught certain information.)

Forbidding members from speaking with ex-members or other critics.

Discouraging members from trusting any source of information that isn’t approved by the group’s leadership.

Forbidding members from sharing certain details of the group’s beliefs or practice with outsiders.

Using propaganda. (This includes “feel good” media that exists only to enforce the group’s message.)

Using information gained in confession or private conversation against you.

Gaslighting to make members doubt their own memory. (“I never said that,” “You’re remembering that wrong,” “You’re confused,” etc.)

Requiring you to report your thoughts, feelings, and activities to group leaders or superiors.

Encouraging you to spy on other group members and report their “misconduct.”

And more.

Thought Control may include…

Black and White, Us vs. Them, or Good vs. Evil thinking.

Requiring you to change part of your identity or take on a new name. (This includes only using last names, as well as titles like “Brother,” “Sister,” and “Elder.”)

Using loaded languages and cliches to stop complex thought. (This is the difference between calling someone a “former member” and calling the same person an “apostate” or “covenant breaker.”)

Inducing hypnotic or trance states including prayer, meditation, singing hymns, etc.

Using thought-stopping techniques to prevent critical thinking. (“If you ever find yourself doubting, say a prayer to distract yourself!”)

Allowing only positive thoughts or speech.

Rejecting rational analysis and criticism both from members and from those outside the group.

And more.

Emotional Control may include…

Inducing irrational fears and phobias, especially in connection with leaving the group. (This includes fear of damnation, fear of losing personal value, fear of persecution, etc.)

Labeling some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, low-vibrational, or wrong.

Teaching techniques to keep yourself from feeling certain emotions like anger or sadness.

Promoting feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness. (This is often done by holding group members to impossible standards, such as being spiritually “pure” or being 100% happy all the time.)

Showering members and new recruits with positive attention — this is called “love bombing.” (This can be anything from expensive gifts to sexual favors to simply being really nice to newcomers.)

Shunning members who disobey orders or disbelieve the group’s teachings.

Teaching members that there is no happiness, peace, comfort, etc. outside of the group.

And more.

If a group ticks most or all of the boxes in any one of these categories, you need to do some serious thinking about whether or not that group is good for your mental health. If a group is doing all four of these, you’re definitely dealing with a cult and need to get out as soon as possible.

These techniques can also be used by individual people in one-on-one relationships. A relationship or friendship where someone tries to control your behavior, thoughts, or emotions is not healthy and, again, you need to get out as soon as possible.

Obviously, not all of these things are inherently bad. Meditation and prayer can be helpful on their own, and being nice to new people is common courtesy. The problem is when these acts become part of a bigger pattern, which enforces someone else’s control over your life.

A group that tries to tell you how to think or who to be is bad for your mental health, your personal relationships, and your sense of self. When in doubt, do what you think is best for you — and always be suspicious of people or groups who refuse to be criticized.

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alltheworldsinmyhead · 4 years ago

Text

ON FEYSAND’S PLOTLINE IN ACOSF

!!!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ACOSF!!!!

Let’s be honest for a while, okay?

ACOCF had potential to be SJM’s best book, if not for any other reason then because of the sheer idea of it. Coming-of-age, healing story of the most complex and polarizing character she has ever created set in the time of peace, away from the familiar setting (according to the later changed concept which still remains in the snippet at the end of ACOFAS), development of her arguably most feisty and angsty love story... It could be her absolute trumph. Even with the change to stick to Velaris instead of exploring the Illyrian culture of the Mountains and with the added conflict of the Mortal Queens and Koshei, it still could work quite well.

It didn’t. For many, many reasons, but the most important one, in my opinion, being the feysand pregnancy plot.

Nothing about this plotline made sense. Not a single thing. From start to finish, it was an absolute disaster from the character-writing POV, from the narration POV, from every single context of it. It broke the rules of real-life logic, it broke the rules of this fantasy world setting and it completely exposed that Rhysand, while not a bad guy, is a pretty terrible partner, even worse ruler and an absolutely terrible contender for the High King title.

Let’s break this whole mess down (and expect this post to be mammoth-sized. it’s not my fault, though, write to SJM if you have any complains):

1) Feyre, 21, decides to get pregnant, even though less than a year earlier, she expresses the delight with not being forced to bear children to her new mate and told him herself she wants to wait a while and enjoy her life with him. Feyre decides she wants a baby though and Rhysand goes along with it, even though he is aware how young Feyre is and how hard her life has been up until this point. He wants a baby too much to have an honest discussion with Feyre about it, to stop and wonder what is the reason for her sudden change of heart, to reassure her that they have a lot of time ahead of them and don’t need to rush. No. She mades a sudden decision to have a baby after A YEAR OF MARRIAGE and not much more of being turned fae, JUST AFTER having her whole world put upside down, having received a completely new title and responsibilities, surviving the wat and being mated. Great.

2) Feyre decides to get pregnant and Rhys goes along with it less than a year after the end of the bloody war. It is politically a delicate time, everyone is still not sure how the balance will shift, some countries don;t want to sign the peace treaty, etc. There are a lot of enemies and a lot of turmoil remaining. But sure. Let’s have a baby. Perfect time to add yet another target, another weakness that can be use by the Mortal Queens, Beron or whatever else with malicious intent towards the Night Court.

2) Feyre gets pregnant after approximately a year of trying. I know healthy people of reproductive age for whom it takes ages more than this. Fae’s pregnancies are rare af and precious and happen once in a blue moon, but ofc SJM broke the world’s rules for her darling Feyre. And again, for Kallas and Vivianne who are also expecting the baby, even though it has been a maximum of 3 years since they’ve mated. 3 years is also not a particularly long time to try to have a baby for those who have issues with their reproductive systems like Fae women. Thank you, next.

3) Rhys has unprotected sex with Feyre in her Illyrian form when she conceives, even though he knows full well having a winged baby would kill her. He does it anyway, for shits and giggles apparently. They probably have sex in the sky above Velaris, for all we know.

4) The baby has wings. Now, the whole explanation with Illyrian wings being bony (bc they resemble bat wings) and Seraphin ones being more flexible (bc they resemble bird ones) is so insanely stupid that it takes around 3 seconds to wikipedia this shit and find out it’s exactly the opposite. But okay, the baby has wings and Feyre will die while giving birth, along with the baby. Madja forbids Feyre from turning into an Illyrian to carry the pregnancy because it MIGHT hurt the baby. Now, remember, Feyre conceived while in Illyrian form and then turned into High Fae. The baby survived it just fine. The baby MIGHT be hurt by Feyre turning .... but it will FOR SURE die if she stays High Fae and Feyre will too. Idk about you, but I would take the risk of MIGHT instead of FOR SURE. Especially when she is already in labour and dying. Cauldron or Nesta or idk who alters Feyre’s pelvis after the baby is cut out of her for no apparent reason but to allow feysand to make exactly the same mistakes later on. How convinient. And Nesta also alters her own pelvis bc god forbid she won’t be able give Cassian babies like the little useful mate she is now. She should’ve probably done it with Elain too, just in case she decides to fuck Az in the future, because fuck consequences and fuck the stakes in the story that make the readers actually CARE about characters bc they know the author may actually kill them and not save their life every fucking time.

5) I don’t even want to comment on the fact Rhys hid the true danger of this pregnancy for Feyre and their family went along with it. It is absolutely disgusting. And Nesta telling her and that being condemned as the act of the ultimate cruelty which is a final straw to break her self-loathing back.... is abhorrent. It made my sick, actually, phisically sick. There is no justification for it. No at all. And the fact that they did not even consider abortion sends a message that I really don’t want to think too much about it. Feyre was 2 months along when they learned the baby is winged. 2 months. 8 weeks. It wasn’t a baby yet, let’s be honest. They could’ve at least discussed it. She - oh my god, I cannot believe SJM wrote it this way, I’m gonna be sick.

6) For the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, they have no plan to really help her. Labour plan? Haven’t heard if it. They have money and power and access to the healers of the whole land. And did not figure out how to stop her from bleeding out after a fucking C-section. THIS WORLD HAS MAGIC AND THEY COULDN’T STOP HER FROM BLEEDING OUT AFTER A FUCKING C-SECTION. Didn’t even ask Thesan, the High Lord of Healing, to be present. Cassian had guts hanging out of his stomach and survived. Az was fucking slashed apart in Hybern and survived. But yeah, Feyre was on a brink of death after a C-section. Great, Sarah. Keep it up. Let’s force the thought into young girls’ heads that labour is the most lethal thing ever, why not.

7) Also, for the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, Rhys keeps quiet about this idiotic bargain. He, as far as we know, doesn’t make any plans for the moment when him and Feyre and possibly their baby are dead. If they died and baby survived.. who would take care of it? Does Rhys have a conversation with his family about it? NAH. Doesn’t write any sort of plan how to keep the Court going, doesn’t inform even the closest of his co-workers how they should proceed to act after he’s gone and his and Feyre’s power go to god-knows-who. Their deaths would mean a sure chaos for the weakend and fragile Prythian and the Night Court especially and yet nor Rhys nor Feyre make any sort of preparations for it. Rhys doesn’t tell his brothers or Mor or HIS SECOND IN COMMAND they will all soon have to somehow manage without him. He was about to just leave them to their own devices and told them in the last. possible. moment.

And this man - this man is, according to Amren, the best candidate to handle the whole country? To unite it? This fool who makes idiotic bargains, who thinks first about his cock and his own selfish desires and considers his subjects and his responsibilities as a High Lord last and least important of all? Who has so much trust in his wife, in his High Lady, the mother of his son that he doesn’t tell her she will almost surely die on a birthing bed because it MAY UPSET HER?

This plotline was the straw that broke my back. ACOTAR, at it’s heart has always been a ya fantasy with added ‘spice’ and I was willing to bend my critical-thinking skills in many cases and forget and forgive many smaller idiotic issues in this series. But this? It is not idiotic. It is massive and stupid to the point when it becomes insulting to the reader. It was a plot straight out of a bad fanfic, not something that should be in a published book written by someone who writes for a living. You could even argue that Twilight has handled this toxic trope better. I have wasted my money on this book and thinking about it will always be painful for me. So yeah.

ACOSF could be great. Ended up quite pathetic.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames #rhysand #feysand

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