#tell me what I'm supposed to do to feel safe

[gold-onthe-inside]

adam's ribs

This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.

who? spencer reid (pre-s1) x codependent!reader summary: when spencer meets you right after admitting his mother to a sanitarium, all he wants is to be loved, no matter the cost. content warnings: codependent relationship, unhealthy dynamics, sub!spencer, r calls spencer 'lovely', implied that r is a caregiver like spencer, handjob, humping, penetrative sex (p in v) NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI word count: 2.5k a/n: i'm not great at writing smut at the best of times, least of all when i'm supposed to make it biblical but i gave it my best shot. song ref is adam's ribs by jensen mcrae

He wants to say it’s romantic, how you both met. Mostly because he’s not proud of the fact that you first saw him being rough-housed by his mother in the lounge room of the Bennington sanitarium. He’s not proud of the way he grovels for his mother to forgive him, nor is he proud of how he sits at the window alone when Diana leaves to go to her room. He’s well aware what he looks like when you approached him with a cup of coffee and an ear to listen - his back arched, a gangly set of limbs curling in on himself. But he’s been holding it in for so long, his ribs caging his secrets from the world, shaking from the effort. Bones and skin and unshed tears. That’s all he is. His mother’s son.

Your hand running over his back makes him think that he might become someone else. Coffee turns to lunch, turns to dinner, turns to fumbling kisses in the living room of your dingy apartment. It’s reckless and stupid and he barely knows you, but he bares his soul to you when your hands cupped his neck because who else is there that wants him? He kisses you with everything he has, holding your jaw like you might run away when your hands slide over his chest. Keys and bags and coats fall away in the back of your mind, thoughts consumed by this sad boy.

Two failed caregivers seeking mastery with each other, it’s a recipe for disaster and he knows it. But you taste so sweet, your hands so gentle and your eyes so caring, and you both mean well, and it’s not that he doesn’t like you. And he aches for this tenderness. So he lets you slide your hands under the hem of his polo shirt over his chest, lets you tug him closer by the loops of his trousers. Claim me as your own, he begs you in his head, and you pulled away to look up at him, taking his breath away in the process.

“Wanna take care of you,” you murmured, hands resting under his ribs, pressing your lips to his collarbone.

He doesn’t know what to say to that, his eyes fluttering shut as your hands rove up, fingertips tracing the outline of muscles in his chest. He wants to whimper underneath those hands, wants to tell you to never stop, never pull away from him. “Please.” That’s all he can think to respond. Oh, please.

“Sweet boy,” you whispered into his skin, leaving light marks as you tugged him to the bedroom. It’s unfair, unfair that the universe would hand him this heavy a burden to bear — he’s no Atlas to carry the skies on his shoulders. He’s almost in awe of you, the way you pull him down to the mattress, the way you slide a thigh on either side of his hips. He’s pliant underneath your touch, his long fingered hands cupping your jaw. He’s not used to being touched like this, not used to being wanted. His wide hazel eyes look up at you with a mix of awe and desire. He’s like putty in your hands, so open and inviting and innocent and tortured all at the same time.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he confessed, his hands brushing along your side in clumsy impulse.

“No-one said you have to,” you replied, leaning over him as your hand cupped his jaw, and lowering your lips to his.

He melts under these touches, his tongue darting out to trace yours as he whimpers against you. He’s breathless when you part for air, his cheeks flushed pink. He feels safe in your arms, he realizes, like nothing can touch him now. “Please,” he begs you softly, his long fingers gripping the fabric of your dress. “Don’t stop.”

“So polite,” you murmured, tracing his bottom lip with your thumb.

His breath hitches and he opens his mouth for you, chasing your touch. His eyes are locked on you, watching your every move. “I could beg, if you’d like me to,” he said, his voice a little raspy from being so out of breath. It’s meant to be teasing but comes out more desperate than he’d hoped.

"I don't doubt it," you whispered back, kissing the corner of his mouth to tease him.

The whine that he lets out borders on humiliating. He’s never been so desperate to be touched before, but you’re making him insane. He tries to follow your mouth, but your hand holds him at bay. He lets out a soft curse, his hands tightening around the fabric of your dress.

You let your hand run through his soft hair, silky strands that parted like they were meant for you. It felt right, like you were both the same person, like Zeus had split the two of you for fear of the power you would hold. Because this thing between you both is too intense, dangerous, like nothing you've experienced before.

He all but purred at the touch, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. He was beautiful like this, vulnerable and needy, and all for you. He nuzzled his face against your hand like he was trying to burn the feeling into his memory, wanting to keep it and make it a part of himself. “More,” he pleaded, looking up at you through messy bangs.

“Anything for you, lovely,” you murmured, kissing him deeply in your dim bedroom, and he held your waist like you might disappear through his fingers, dissolving to mist when he wakes up from what will inevitably be a dream.

He moans into your mouth, your words like a sweet prayer to his ears. Lovely. His stomach is in knots, his chest tight, and your words of affection are making his head spin with want. He thinks if you asked him now, he'd promise you anything. He's drowning in you, in your touch, in the way you say lovely.

Heat warms you all over as his hands roam over your back, spindly fingers dragging over your spine, too nervous to slide under your dress. You pull back for breath, barely leaving an inch between your lips and his, about to tug at his shirt when you look at him, locked onto wide hazel eyes, dark and framed with pretty lashes. “Tell me this is okay,” you whispered, warm breath fanning over his cheek.

“It’s okay,” he assured you, his voice a mere whisper. He’s sure he looks a right mess, skin flushed, lips kiss swollen, eyes wide and hopeful. Your proximity is making it very difficult to think straight, his fingers gripping a little harder on your waist, wanting to pull you even closer but afraid to touch where he hasn’t been invited.

“Arms up, lovely,” you murmured, tugging on the hem of his polo shirt with the smallest smile. He obeyed, lifting his arms so you could pull his shirt up and off him with little hassle. He was thin, the expanse of his torso pale and smooth except for the scattering of moles. He shivered a little, both from you looking at him so keenly and the chill of the air against his skin.

You look at him with nothing but fondness and want, gentle hands trailing over his shoulders. "All mine?" you asked softly, nose brushing his as your hands ghost over his chest, like you were checking again. That's all you want, to take care of him. This sweet boy that you can't let go of.

“All yours,” he replied, his answer as soft as your touch. He shudders, almost whining when your hands brush over his ribs, making him squirm. He’s so responsive to you, every touch sends a shiver through him, until he’s squirming restlessly in your lap. When you reach for his belt buckle, he gasps softly, looking up at you with wide, pleading eyes.

"It's okay," you assure him, gently prying the belt apart. "M gonna take care of you, promise," you whispered.

His chest is rising and falling rapidly, his heart drumming a staccato beat, his cheeks flushed deep red. He nods slowly, his breath hitching a little when you slowly peel open his trousers. He doesn't know what to do with his hands, his slender fingers flexing and gripping the sheets. A whimper escapes him when your knuckles brush over the sensitive skin of his flat stomach, so close to where he wants you. “Please,” he whispers, his wide eyes begging for your touch, like his body is thrumming with a desperate ache that only you can soothe.

"Words, lovely," you murmured. "Tell me what you need." You’d give him anything he asked for, reach inside your ribs and pull out your heart for him, for this boy you barely know. You can’t name it, there’s just something there that pulls you to him.

“I need you,” he said almost immediately, his hands gripping your thighs, needing something to hold on to. “I need you to touch me, please.” He’s so flushed and wanting, his eyes wide and pleading. He wants, he needs, he aches. To be touched, to be wanted, to be loved.

Your hands are like fire against his skin, leaving goosebumps in your wake, making his heart sing. He squirms weakly, his body arching towards your touch. He moans so prettily when your fingertips trace over his hipbones, so close to where he needs you. “Please,” he says again, his voice raspy. “Please, please, please-”

His begging quickly devolves into panting, the air in his lungs escaping him all at once, your fingers tracing his cock. Your touch is like a drug, a delicious sort of torture, until he's a trembling mess underneath you. He needs more, he wants more, but he can't form the words. All he can do is arch into your hand, desperate and wanton. "Does that feel good?" you asked, your voice barely above a breath, sharp eyes watching his features move with your strokes.

He tried to respond, but a soft whine is the only thing that escapes his throat. Your touch is driving him wild, his hips canting up of their own will, so desperate for friction that he can hardly think straight. He's never felt like this before, desperate and needing, unable to speak because he's too busy moaning incoherently.

You grind your hips against his experimentally, propped over his lap, hands bracing you. He moans loudly when you grind against him, his head flying back into the sheets. His long slender fingers grip your thighs, his nails biting the flesh, trying to ground himself. His eyes are shut tight, his hips lifting up to meet yours, wanting more, needing more.

"Eyes open, lovely," you murmured, feeling his erection through your underwear, rocking your hips against it. His eyes snap open quickly, cheeks flushed red, mouth parted and panting. He’s trembling so hard he doesn’t trust himself to speak, his breath coming out in short, sharp huffs, punctuated with soft whines. He’s so impossibly hard, it’s almost embarrassing how easily he’s come undone by your touch, and then you’re grinding on him and he sees stars, his back arching and a gasp of profanity falling from his lips.

He’s whimpering, and whining, and begging you, but you couldn’t tell even if you tried. His words are lost in a jumble of unintelligible noises, each one a plea for you to bring him to the edge, each one a silent thank you when you rock against him. He’s almost beyond words, beyond coherent thought, his mind a litany of your name. You can feel your own control slipping, your movements becoming frenzied, your own release imminent.

His hands are grasping everywhere, desperately searching for purchase, grasping at your back, your hips, the sheets. He’s close, so close, he’s practically begging you now, your name the only thing he’s able to form. He’s trembling from head to toe, his skin slick with sweat. "I'm gonna... Fuck, you feel so good," you muttered into his shoulder, feeling your arms weaken as you get closer to the edge.

He’s babbling softly now, words about how close he is, how he needs more, please more please. His hands are gripping your thighs, fingers digging into the flesh. He’s delirious with desire, the only thing he can think about being how good you feel. He’s so close and it’s almost too much, the edge of pleasure painful from how good he feels.

Everything crumbles when you shift your underwear to the side to sheath him, slowly easing yourself onto his swollen cock, and he's sure if heaven exists, this is it. He’s crying your name like a prayer, his head thrown back, his long body curving towards you, trying to get closer despite the fact that he’s buried deep inside you. He’s trembling, shaking, his hands gripping your waist.

“Please,” he whispered, and it’s the first word that you’ve been able to make out in the last several moments, and then he’s gripping your hips harder, pulling you down onto his lap, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded. He’s panting, his chest heaving, his mouth parted and begging. “Please, please, please—” He’s so desperate that it borders on pathetic, his eyes wide and wild, looking up at you to try and convey just how badly he needs you. He’s practically whining with need, his hips arching up as if he’s begging, and when he moans your name it sounds obscene, almost too much. “Please, I need - I need-”

You quicken your thrusts, still with the same care, but pushing him over the edge all the same, his head lolling back in pleasure, his hips meeting your movements eagerly. He’s gasping for air, his breathing coming in short, sharp huffs, as he teeters right on the edge. He’s so close, so desperate to find his release, and it seems like he’s on the brink of pleading, his eyes wide and pleading, until—

"That's it, lovely, let go for me," you murmured, your body still moving against his in a rhythm that gives him no other choice. It’s like that’s all he needed, his breath catching in his throat, his body tensing up, his hands holding onto to your waist so tight you think he might bruise you.

And then he’s tumbling over the edge, a long moan ripping its way through his chest, his eyes rolling back into his head, and you whisper his name and he’s gone, completely wrecked, his body trembling, his breathing coming in sharp gasps as he comes down from his high.

He’s clinging to you like he’s drowning, his arms wrapped around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. He’s spent, wrecked, utterly ruined, and when he speaks, his voice is wrecked, too, the one word that manages to escape his mouth sounding almost hoarse. Your name. Nothing else in the world exists. Not with you here.

[dazedhyu]

Backseat 𓂃 🌹 sjn

:¨ ·.· ¨: paring ー fwb!johnny x fem!reader

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ warnings : slow(ish) burn, fwb to lovers, very little angst, smut, johnny spoils tf out of you, unprotected car sex (WRAP IT UP!), pet names (baby, doll, pretty, etc), grinding, riding / cowgirl, i'm probably missing a few oh well :p

★彡 4.5k wc!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ authors note >< : valentines day posttt hehe :3 i saw this edit and knew i needed to write something car related w johnny... ENJOY & HAPPY (LATE, im sorry!!😭😭) VALENTINES DAY!! this lowk isnt my fav.. i kept procrastinating posting but theres such a lack of johnny fics on here i need to bless my fellow johfam 💗. Pls trust the next fic that comes out will be very delicious u guys r gonna love it mwuahahaha (๑>◡<๑) this was proofread at like 4am pls ignore spelling mistakes..

Things were always just meant to be casual. Sure, it wasn't too casual to fuck on a regular basis or talk to each other the way you do, but you always felt a little bad for keeping him in the friend zone for so long, knowing how he felt about you. You and Johnny had known each other since high school; you've always been best friends.

And to be completely honest, you couldn't help but be completely whipped by him. He bought you gifts nearly every day, whether it was something small or something thoughtful. You'd catch yourself admiring a necklace at the store, and sure enough, the next morning, it would be sitting at your front door with a cute note attached. He was like that with everything: the things you needed, the things you didn't even know you wanted, and especially the things that made you smile.

He wasn't just good at spoiling you with things. He always knew exactly what to say when you were upset, how to touch you in a way that made you feel safe, how to fuck you so good you were seeing stars. Johnny knew you better than anyone else. He knew your body, your moods, your every little habit. He could read you like an open book.

But the lingering fear that if you ever crossed that line and took things further with him, things would go south and you'd lose him as a friend was what always kept you in check. You couldn't bear the thought of losing him, and that fear kept you at arm's length.

But even today— valentines day, a day meant for romance and cheesy gestures, you told yourself things were still supposed to be casual. That’s what you kept telling yourself as stepped out of the shower and got ready for the night ahead.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the flowers he had sent you this morning. The bouquet was massive, the kind that looked like it belonged in a romance movie, wrapped in black satin and tied with a sleek ribbon with a cute card tucked into the petals with a simple message:

“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby. Be ready by 9, dress extra pretty for me. -J <3” 

It had made your stomach flip. You hadn’t been prepared for that— not from him. It wasn’t that Johnny wasn’t sweet, but this felt… different. Special. His usual kind gestures and love had turned into something else and you weren't sure if you were ready to handle all of that. But as the day had gone on, you couldn’t help but smile every time you thought about it.

Now, standing in front of the mirror, you add the finishing touches to your hair and makeup. He knows how much you hate fancy restaurants and anything overly formal, so you’ve kept your outfit casual yet still put together. A maroon cropped cardigan draped over a delicate white lace-trim cami, paired with the black skirt you know he loves. Every time you wear it around him, you catch his lingering stares and feel the way his touches last just a second too long, like he can’t help himself.

The clock was ticking, and with each passing second, your nerves grew. You thought you had it all figured out. It was supposed to be casual, after all. But you couldn’t ignore the fluttering in your chest as the minutes passed. It felt like tonight was different.

And before you knew it, you were out the door, the cool night air greeting you as you walked toward his car, your heartbeat syncing with the rhythm of your steps.

The air nipped at your skin as you approached Johnny’s car, and your heart skipped a beat as you saw him standing by the passenger door, leaning against the car with a grin that gave you butterflies. His eyes scanned over you in that way he always did when he looked at you, a look of admiration mixed with something else you couldn't quite describe. 

He straightened up when he saw you, his grin widening as he took a few steps closer. You almost missed the way his hand reached out to take yours; the warmth of his touch was enough to melt any hesitation you might’ve had.

“Hey, angel.” He spoke softly, his thumb gently traced the back of your hand as he held your arm up, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “Twirl for me, baby, let me see the full fit.” 

A small laugh bubbled up in your chest, but you couldn’t resist. You spun around once, letting your skirt flare out as you turned. You could hear him take in a sharp breath behind before you faced him again. 

“God, you’re so beautiful, baby,” he murmured, his eyes never once leaving you. His voice was low, almost reverent, as if he couldn’t believe you were real. 

The way he said it made your chest tighten, and a small heat spread through your cheeks. It wasn’t just the usual compliment— there was something more behind it, something deeper, but he didn’t press it. He just smiled, that easy, confident smile that made your heart race.

“Let’s get going, yeah?” Johnny added, keeping his voice light but warm.

You nodded, still feeling the buzz from his words. As he opened the door for you, he moved closer, guiding you toward the seat. His hand briefly brushed against your waist as he helped you into the car, soft and slow, nothing rushed, just enough to send a jolt of warmth through your body. 

It didn’t take long for the night to escalate after that. His constant lingering touches and sweet words, laced with a quiet intensity, were slowly driving you mad. It started innocent— his hand brushing against your thigh every now and then as he drove, his soft chuckle as he teased you, asking about your day. But it was clear that each moment with him was a little more than you could handle. This wasn’t at all the usual for you two, even though you’re very used to his ‘dates’ there was always the friendly demeanor behind them. This one was all a complete shift in the energy, it made you nervous, like this was an actual real date and not just two friends hanging out and flirting. 

By the time you made it to a quiet spot by the water, the atmosphere had shifted. The air around you crackled, thick with something unspoken, an electric current that you could feel building between you two with every glance, every word. You weren’t even sure how you’d ended up in this position, but you didn’t care.

One minute you were sitting side by side in the backseat, laughing, the next you were straddling his lap. The shift had been so gradual, so natural that you didn’t question it until you felt his hands begin to roam.

His fingers slid under the fabric of your cardigan, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine. You instinctively leaned into him, your body reacting before your mind could catch up. You could feel the heat radiating from his chest, the way his breath hitched slightly as his hands slid around your waist.

You continued talking, but your words felt like an afterthought, drowned out by the racing of your heartbeat. Every now and then, Johnny would murmur something that made you blush, his voice low and teasing as he casually slid his hand under your top, his large hands gliding against the skin of your back.

But it was his eyes that truly did it for you. They were still so sweet, full of admiration and affection, but there was something else there now. A flicker of heat, of raw desire, a hunger that made your pulse spike.

“Johnny, you’re looking at me like you want to eat me.” you spoke with a small chuckle, your voice betraying the nervous flutter in your chest. It was a poor attempt to ease the tension and the heat pooling between your thighs, but it was all you could manage as his gaze burned into you.

Johnny tilted his head slightly, the smirk never leaving his lips. His fingers tightened at your waist, sending a shiver up your spine. “Only if you want me to.”

His voice was low, teasing, it was enough to make your breath hitch. His hands slid down to your thighs, his fingers tracing slow circles into your skin before gripping just a little tighter, pulling you in until there was no space left between you.

The subtle pressure of his touch mixed with the feeling of his painfully hard bulge pressing right against your core made heat pool in your stomach, your breath coming out uneven as you bit your lip to keep yourself together.

Johnnys gaze flickered to your lips, then back up to your eyes, and the grin on his face grew just slightly. He was enjoying this, the way you tensed up under his touch, the way your body was reacting to him before you could even find the words to respond.

“You like that, pretty?” His voice was smooth, almost lazy, but the way his hands slowly slid up to your hips sent another rush of warmth through your body. He gently rocked your hips against his, just enough to let you know what he wanted. What he knew you wanted, too.

“You’re being awfully shy tonight,” he murmured, his eyes searching yours. “Am I making you nervous?”

“Johnny…” You barely breathed out, your fingers gripping at his shoulders as a small, helpless whine slipped past your lips when he pushed you further onto his lap.

You didn’t know what was worse, the way your body was betraying you, or the way he was looking at you like he already knew everything you weren’t saying. Like he was waiting for you to catch up to what he already understood. The tension was driving you insane. It wasn’t just the way he touched you, the way he looked at you like you were the only thing he wanted— it was the aftermath. The way he could act like this, make you feel like this, and then leave both of you tangled in that same unspoken confusion the next day. That lingering feeling that always stayed around for days every single time the two of you had sex. 

Longing. Maybe even love.

You wished, more than anything, that you could push past the fear of relationships, of rejection, of getting hurt. But it clung to you, holding you back, even though you knew deep down that Johnny would never hurt you. He cared about you too much. He always made sure you had everything you needed, always put you first in ways you weren’t sure he even realized.

And it made you feel guilty for pretending your feelings weren’t real. For acting like this didn’t mean something. 

The weight of it all pressed down on you, a storm of conflict and confusion swirling in your head. You let out a quiet whine, your frustration spilling over as you looked down at him, torn between everything you wanted to say and everything you were still too scared to admit.

Johnny’s fingers flexed against your hips, and his smirk softened into a small smile. “I know, baby,” he spoke, his voice quieter now. His hands slid up your back, holding you close. “You don’t have to say it. I already know.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and before you could stop yourself, your hands were moving up, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt like you needed something to hold onto. Like if you let go, you’d fall apart completely.

Johnny chuckled, the sound warm against your skin. “Just let me take care of you, yeah?.” His fingers traced slow patterns along your waist, his touch patient, steady. “It’s a special day today, and you’re my special girl. You deserve it.”

He didn’t wait for another word. The second your head dipped in a nod, his lips were on yours, slow and deliberate, he wanted you to feel everything neither of you could say out loud. His hands slid up your back, fingertips pressing into your skin just enough to make you shiver.

The kiss deepened in an instant, all hesitation melting away as his tongue intertwined with yours, teasing, coaxing, making your breath hitch. His grip on you tightened, your hips instinctively picking back up their pace rolling against his. 

A small whimper slipped from your lips, and Johnny groaned lowly in response. The friction you felt as he slightly thrusted up pressing further against you sent a sharp wave of pleasure through your body, you gasped, breaking the kiss for just a second before he chased your lips again, capturing them in another heated, desperate kiss.

“You feel so good, baby,” he murmured against your lips, his voice hushed but dripping with hunger. “Always so good for me.”

His mouth traveled, trailing slow, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, down your neck, sucking softly at the spot he knew would make you squirm. 

The heat between you was unbearable now, every touch, every movement sending you spiraling deeper into the feeling. You didn’t care about what would happen tomorrow, about the confusion that always lingered after nights like this. All you cared about was him, his touch, his lips, the way he made you feel like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.

His hands moved with purpose, slipping beneath the hem of your top, his palms searing against your skin as he slowly dragged the fabric upward. There was no hesitation as he pulled your clothes over your head, tossing them somewhere beside the two of you. His eyes darkened at the sight of you, his gaze drinking in every inch of exposed skin.

His hands were back on you in an instant, skimming up your sides, thumbs grazing just under the band of your bra as he leaned in, kissing along your collarbone, down the valley of your chest.

The anticipation was unbearable, your breath coming in short, needy gasps before the fabric slipped away. The cool air made you shiver, but Johnny was quick to warm you up, his mouth finding your skin again. Kissing softly before latching onto one of your nipples, sucking and swirling his tongue around the perky bud, making you moan and pull softly at his hair. 

He hummed, the vibrations against you causing a whimper to leave your lips. He tilted his head back, releasing your breast with a small pop, immediately diving back into your chest to kiss and mark you in places nobody else would see. His hands moved lower, gripping your thighs and pushing them apart, the feeling of his clothed cock flush against where you needed him most was almost too much to handle. 

Johnny groaned, his head dropping to your shoulder as he rocked you against him with more intent. “You feel that, baby?” he rasped, his fingers digging into your skin. “You want me just as bad as I want you, don’t you?”

The way he said it, the way his voice dripped with need, made you dizzy. Your body answered before your words could, your hips grinding down against him, a desperate moan slipping from your lips.

Johnny’s grip tightened, and he exhaled sharply, his restraint hanging by a thread. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Sit up, pretty girl.” 

Without hesitation, you lifted your hips from his, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly as he worked fast to undo his belt and free his aching cock. You watched as it sprung out, a drop of pre-cum already leaking at the tip. 

Johnny worked quickly, sliding your skirt and panties down your legs with practiced ease. Before you could even process the loss of fabric, he was pressing the tip of his cock against your entrance, dragging it along your slit in slow, deliberate strokes that had your breath hitching.

A frustrated whimper slipped past your lips, your hips instinctively trying to push down onto him, but his grip on your waist was firm, keeping you exactly where he wanted you.

His hold on your waist tightened as he continued to tease you, the head of his cock dragging along your slick folds, never quite pushing in. You let out a shaky breath, hands gripping at his shoulders, desperate for more. 

“Johnny, please..” you tried, your voice soft.

He hummed, tilting his head slightly, clearly enjoying the way you squirmed beneath him. “Please what, baby? At least ask properly.”

Your body trembled as he rolled his hips just enough to nudge against your entrance, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. 

You swallowed hard, your pride slipping further with every second of his agonizing teasing. “Please,” you whined, voice breathless and needy. “need you so bad, please fuck me...”

His smirk faltered for just a moment, his restraint nearly snapping at the way you begged for him. Without another word, he finally pushed into you, stretching you open inch by inch. A small gasp left your lips. 

Your fingers dug into his shoulders, nails pressing into the fabric of his shirt as you tried to steady yourself against the overwhelming sensation of him filling you completely.

Johnny groaned low in his throat, his grip on your waist tightening as he forced himself to move at a steady pace, savoring the way your body welcomed him so perfectly. “Fuck, yn,” he murmured, his voice strained. “Always so tight for me.”

Your head tipped back once again, a broken moan slipping past your lips as he bottomed out, his head kissing at your cervix with just the slightest shift of his hips. He gave you a second to adjust, his thumbs stroking slow, soothing circles against your hips, but the way your walls clenched around him made his patience waver.

“You okay, angel?” he asked, his voice softer now, despite the way his restraint was hanging by a thread. 

You nodded quickly, your body already desperate for more. “Mhm, feels so good..”

That was all he needed. With a deep, satisfied hum, he pulled out just enough to thrust back in, slowly, making sure you felt every inch of him. His hands guided your movements as you rocked against him, your moans spilling into the air between you.

“Just like that, baby,” he praised, his lips grazing your jaw before trailing down to your neck. “Taking me so well.” 

Your fingers tangled in his hair, nails grazing his scalp as you let out a breathy moan, overwhelmed by the way he moved— how every roll of his hips sent waves of pleasure crashing over you. He tilted his head up to watch you, eyes dark, completely filled with a mix of love and lust. 

“You feel so good,” he whispered against your skin. His lips trailing lower, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your throat, lingering at your collarbone before nipping lightly, just enough to make you shiver.

A soft whimper slipped past your lips as he slightly picked up his pace. He caught your sound with a kiss, deep and unhurried, like he wanted to drown in the taste of you. His tongue traced along your bottom lip before he pulled away just enough to whisper, “You like that? Want more?”

You could only nod, barely able to form words with the way he was unraveling you so effortlessly. The intensity of his gaze never wavered, watching every little reaction, every shiver, every breathy sound that slipped from your lips.

“Use your words, doll, want to hear you.” 

A shaky inhale filled your lungs before you managed to whisper, “Yes… more, please.”

His lips curled into a soft smirk, but there was no teasing in his eyes only devotion, only the overwhelming need to give you exactly what you asked for. His movements deepened, his hips snapping into yours with a bit more urgency, dragging out every sensation. A deep groan rumbled in his chest as he buried his face in your neck, his fingers digging into your hips, guiding you to match his rhythm.

Every thrust sent waves of pleasure crashing through you, your body trembling in his arms as your moans grew louder. He was losing himself in you, in the way you felt, the way you sounded— so sweet, so desperate for him.

“Johnny—” His name spilled from your lips like a plea, your fingers gripping onto him like you’d fall apart if you let go.

His hands roamed your body, both hands resting just under your breasts, his thumbs rubbing small circles at your nipples. He kissed you again, much deeper this time, his tongue sliding against yours with a tenderness that had your heart pounding against your ribs. It wasn’t just desire; it was more than that. It was the way he held you like you were something precious, something he never wanted to let go of.

“Fuck,” he muttered against your lips, his voice strained, almost like he was trying to hold back but couldn’t anymore. “You feel so damn good… can’t help it, baby.”

His grip on you tightened as he thrust into you with more intensity, repeatedly hitting that spot that made your toes curl, but his touch remained gentle, his hands smoothing over your skin, grounding you, making sure you were with him through every moment. The sound of your moans only spurred him on, his breath coming out in ragged exhales as he broke the kiss to bury his face against your neck.

“Taking me so well, angel,” he groaned, his lips brushing against your jaw between each word. “So perfect— so beautiful —just for me.”

Your fingers still tangled in his hair, tugging slightly as another whimper escaped you, and he nearly lost it right then. His hips snapped forward with more force, his control slipping further with every sound you made.

“God, you drive me crazy,” he breathed, pulling back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark, filled with adoration and something raw, something unrestrained. “Need you to know how good you are to me… how much I love you.” 

You couldn’t even form words in response, your head spinning with the overwhelming sensation of him pounding into you. You clung to him, feeling each thrust of his hips, the way he drove deeper, harder, pushing you toward something higher. Your breath caught in your throat. For a moment, everything seemed to stop. His words hung in the air, but your body was too lost in the bliss he was giving you to process them fully.

You couldn’t focus on anything except the way his hips crashed into yours, the delicious pressure building inside of you, the tenderness in the way his hands touched you, each movement making you feel like you were in pure bliss.

“Just like that,” he whispered, his pace faltering as he grew closer, but still, he stayed gentle with you, his hands caressing your skin, as if he never wanted to let go. 

Your body gave in to the intensity of it all, a rush of heat flooding you as you reached your orgasm. His name left your lips in a breathless string of pleas and moans, but still, he whispered praises against your skin, each word a caress, as if he were reminding you of how much you meant to him. Soon both of you reached your limits, his thrusts nearly stopping and cock twitching as he came. The feeling of his warmth seeping into you mixed with your own arousal soaking his length was enough to make your legs twitch and breath hitch once again.

As the intensity began to fade, the air between you was thick with lingering heat, you both slowed, your breaths coming in shaky, uneven gasps. His forehead rested gently against yours, as he soothingly rubbed your sides. 

He kissed you slowly, deeply, savoring the aftermath, his lips soft against yours as he pulled you closer, like he was trying to keep you attached to him.

But as the world around you slowly started to come back into focus, his words played on a loop in your mind, each one like a soft echo against your chest. As much as you tried to convince yourself it was just the heat of the moment, you couldn’t deny it. You knew he meant it.

And deep down, you realized that you really felt the same way. The realization hit you like a wave, slow and steady but impossible to ignore. For the first time, you were tired of parading around the topic of love when it came to him. It wasn’t just the sex, the intimacy, or the wild rush of everything that had just happened, it was the way he made you feel, the overwhelming warmth in your chest that never went away when he was around.

All you knew for sure, as your heart beat in time with his, was that you weren’t going to shy away from him anymore. You weren’t going to play games, or pretend like there was some distance between you. You wanted him. Not just in the way your body craved him, but in the way your heart had always known he was the one you were meant to be with.

You wanted to be his, as badly as he wanted to be yours.

“…I love you too,” you breathed out, your voice full of the same raw honesty that had been in his. The words felt like a weight lifted from your chest, the last piece of the puzzle locking into place.

His breath hitched, and you felt the shift in him— a gentle smile curving his lips as he looked at you, soft with emotion. “Yeah?” His voice was quiet, as if he was still letting the confession settle between you both.

You smiled back, still clinging to him. “Yeah, Johnny, I love you.”

His lips found yours again in a tender kiss, but this time it was slower, more deliberate, like he was savoring the sweetness of your confession. “Good,” he mumbled against your lips, holding you close, like he’d never let you go.

The world outside may have still been waiting, but in that moment, nothing else mattered but the warmth of his arms and the love you had for each other.

Eventually, everything calmed down. He pulled back just slightly, a lazy smile spreading across his face as his thumb traced gentle circles on your skin. “Now,” he spoke up, his voice soft but playful, “let’s get cleaned up and go get some dinner, yeah?”

You chuckled softly, still a little dazed, but the warmth of his words made your heart swell even more. “Yeah, I think that sounds perfect.”

As you both reluctantly untangled from each other’s arms, you shared one last lingering kiss, both of you smiling into it, feeling the weight of the moment settle between you. 

You were his. And he was yours.

Love letter from mae 💌 : ughhshshgsh i need him bad 😭 i rlly do hope u guys like this way more than i do because truly i almost scrapped the whole thing like 7 different times LMFAO

ty for reading!! ♥︎♪ヽ(*´∀｀)ﾉ

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Slash x reader where reader is like depressed and shit and no one notices but him

A/n: Kind of not the same thing you wrote but Slash with depressed reader

Warnings: Depression, Slash yelling (if you can picture that, man is soft), if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

"Open the fucking door!" Slash yelled, banging on the front door to your apartment. An older woman who lived by you gave him an odd look as she passed but he couldn't care less. "Answer the fucking door! I know you're in there!"

He'd seen it all happen, it took him too long to realize and he hated himself for it but it didn't matter right now, all that mattered was that you were safe. Of course, he couldn't see you through the door.

You were distancing yourself from him, turning down his invitations to dinner whether it was a restaurant or just ordering pizza. He never found you already in bed when he came home, in fact he found your key he'd given you in the kitchen.

You smiled when you were with him but he'd catch you staring out the window. If you were in bed with him you were on your side and scrolling through your phone.

Slash took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. His yelling was probably scaring you, he never yelled at anyone, let alone at you. He never raised his voice and he didn't bang on doors. Not just because he knew how much bigger he was than you, he just wasn't a violent person.

It didn't stop the doors latch from snapping off when he hit the thing again, making it swing open. He made a quick mental note to pay for it before looking further into your apartment.

There was garbage everywhere, you hadn't cleaned in weeks and you hadn't left your house in days. That's what finally tipped him off, he realized he hadn't heard more than a few texts from you 'good morning' 'goodnight' 'I love you'.

He looked to the kitchen and found you slumped against the fridge. Panic filled him and he raced over to you, kneeling next to you and looking you over. He had no training in anything, he had no idea what he was doing or what he was looking for.

He kept repeating your name and pleading for you to say something, anything while he desperately searched for your pulse. He at least knew where your pulse points were but he wasn't sure what good was supposed to feel like so he kept feeling his own heartbeat, of course he kept getting a shock from his pacemaker.

"Say something." He muttered, turning your head to him. "Anything?" He waited another moment before he picked you up and set you on the counter, unintentionally banging your head on the cupboard above. "Say something, for the love of god!" He yelled, holding you by the shoulders.

You blinked, staring at him blankly. "Why are you here?" You asked, voice raspy and weak.

His hold on you tightened. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He gave you a shake. "Because I fucking love you and you're in here looking half fucking dead, what the hell happened?!"

Tears pricked your eyes, no words formed for you to say. You wanted to apologize, to tell him you were going to try better, to fix yourself. Instead you just leaned forward and fell into him.

He couldn't very well push you off so he wrapped his arms around you and held you tight. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'll get this place fixed, alright?"

You shook your head. "I-I'll do it, it's my mess."

"No." He stated firmly, leaving no room for argument. "You're going back home with me, and you're going to stay there because you need someone, you don't get to just fuck off anymore." He pulled you off the counter and carried you out of the apartment.

"The door." You mumbled, looking back at it as it swung sadly.

"No one's going in there, they'll take one look and know nothings worth stealing." He explained. He spoke again before you could say anything. "No one's going to assume you have someone to buy you nice shit, they'll see the place is trashed and figure someone got to it first."

You had to believe him, he used to be a thief so it's not like he was pulling shit out his ass. You also had no energy to fight him, no will to.

He carried you out to his car and buckled you in, kissing your forehead before closing the door and walking around to the drivers side.

While he drove he made a few calls, cleaning services and someone to fix your door, he was getting you your damage deposit back while hinting to you that you were moving in with him.

He wasn't actually going to make you do anything, he walked you right to his room. He had his arm around you but he wanted you to walk.

Slash stopped you from going to the bed and led you to the bathroom instead. "Bath or shower?" He asked.

"Sleep." You mumbled.

"That's not an option right now, bath or shower?" He repeated, hands resting on your hips. "A bath would be warm, smelling salts and all that shit... but a shower would be quick, so pick."

You thought for a long moment, leaning on him because it was easier than forcing yourself to stand. "You'll be in there with me..?" He nodded without hesitation. "Bath..."

He let you slump back on the tiled floor while he went to get you some clothes to change into, a shirt of his and some old shorts, he wasn't sure where they came from but he figured they'd fit you.

The bath was just what you needed. It relaxed your muscles and you melted into Slash. He even placed a facecloth over your eyes so didn't have to look at yourself. He wasn't making you do anything for a while, he'd encourage you and make sure you took care of yourself, but he understood depression to an extent.

You'd sleep with him, he'd say nothing but sweet things to you, he'd make sure you left the bedroom at least once a day even if it was just to move to the couch.

After a week he started waking you up so you could make breakfast together. He set up a chair and move it around for you so you didn't have to worry about standing.

Daily walks, weekly baths that soon turned to every other day, same went for brushing your teeth. This wasn't going away any time soon, he knew that much, but that didn't mean he was just going to sit back and watch you dissolve.

[respectfulrebel]

I wish I was better at expressing my feelings with words so I could write you a love letter telling you how much I appreciate you sharing your writing with us. The emotions that you weave into every line?? The little pieces of you in every story?? That's what makes them feel soooo alive and makes me care about those characters so much that my little heart swells with love 😭😭😭

Let me start by saying that I appreciate you dividing it in 2 parts because, girl, I needed a break to process some stuff 🫠

Soooooo, I'm just gonna go ahead and scream about my favourite moments now, if you don't mind.

The way she moves, so gracefully and entirely unselfconscious. The way she leans into her friends when she speaks. The dimple that appears in her left cheek each time she laughs, the way her shoulders shake, the way her hair ripples with her movements. She keeps tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, but it refuses to be tamed.

Okay, I think I'M in love with her. Noah's great and all but I wanna know more about heeeer.

She's out of sight. But he can smell her.

🫠🫠🫠

It's the quiet patience in his expression, the almost tender way he waits, that has her putty in his hands. She knows she'll always be safe with him. It doesn't matter that they haven't spent more than five minutes alone together. She feels it in her bones, in the space between them, in the way he looks at her like she's the only thing that matters.

😭😭😭😭😭😭 he just adores her so much i wanna cryyyyy

She laughs, watching his frantic search with amusement. She has no idea that, at this very moment, Noah is contemplating death if he doesn't find it.

that made me chuckle, okay drama king lol 🤭

He waits, letting her adjust. When she shifts, just the smallest tilt of her hips, it's all the encouragement he needs. He moves, achingly slow, each stroke a deliberate act of worship, so careful it almost makes her go mad. A tight, desperate sensation builds in her chest, and for a moment, she thinks she might cry.

🫠🫠🫠🫠 I am so in love with the way you write sex scenes OH MY GOD

His thrusts grow harder, faster. Her thighs cling to his hips. Her feet hoover just above the mattress. Her nails sink into the inked skin of his back as the pressure builds, and he hisses through his teeth. His reaction is instant. He catches her wrists, gathers them in one of his large hands, and pins them to the pillow above her head. Her breath stutters. Then, without warning, he thrusts deep. Take me. A strangled cry tears from her throat.

I was reading that part when my boyfriend asked me what I was reading so I showed him and he nodded approvingly saying "HOT"

Without thinking twice, he lifts a hand and brushes his fingers along the curve of her cheek, soft and reverent in his touch. This moment-the after-, this touch, it feels like a greater intimacy than anything they have just done.

I'm SOBBING at how soft he isssss 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Noah falls asleep with a hand resting on the small of her back, fingers curled over the curve of her ass, the other cradling the back of her neck, keeping her close as if afraid to let go, and his nose buried in her hair, just like he's dreamed so many times.

I'm gonna cry, this is just asdjfjdsksdkjshfkshfhshse AAAAAAA

"Really?" Folio leans forward, elbows resting on the chair armrests. "And why do you look like that? Don't tell me Noah isn't well-equipped down there."

OKAY, Folio has got me DYING. Literally the whole conversation and everything he says is just so funny. Honourable mentions:

"You really thought Noah had a whole-ass daughter?"

"Nothing a blowjob can't fix. Knowing Noah..."

"Hey, Sebastian! Say hi to your daughter!"

What a goof

🥺🤭🤭🤭🤭

"Got a little... distracted last night," he continues, gesturing vaguely with his hand. "Saw this girl, and, well... just had to follow her. I suppose I got carried away inevitably."

okay I saw that ;););)

She watches the horizon, the endless stretch of blue where the sea meets the sky, and the way the light dances on the water. Noah watches her. Her profile is beautiful, so soft. A picture of tranquility as she takes in the view, lost in the beauty of the landscape. There's something about the way she looks right now that makes everything else fade into the background.

Ok I love her :/ She has my heart :/

The book eventually ends in Noah's hands. He starts reading the novel, for real, and lets her explore the tattoos on his chest, stomach and arms, answering distractedly every question she has about them.

This is soooo cuuuuuuteeeeeee stooopp ittttt 😭😭😭😭 The whole beach thing with the sunscreen and the shoulder kisses and the freckles and the book was just AAAAAAAAHHHHH 🥺🥺😭😭🥺🥺😭🥺🥺😭😭

"It's hard to believe in anything that's not this moment, right now," he murmurs into her hair.

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE IN ANYTHING THAT'S NOT THIS MOMENT, RIGHT NOW????????????????????? SOBBING!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

years of sleep — n.s. one shot

"She has always chalked up his teasing and looks to his naturally charming nature. Noah has always been boyfriend material—but never her boyfriend."

Noah and Reader have been drawn to each other for years, but have never dared to act on it—until a wedding and a one-night stand, in which their buried feelings are brought to the surface, along with some misunderstandings.

one shot ✨ noah sebastian x fem. reader words: 11.6k (it's a mini fic, let's be honest) reading time: about an hour it's divided in 2 parts so you can "bookmark it" at part 2 if you don't have time to read the whole thing in one go.

tags & trigger warnings: pure self-indulgence. two attractive idiots in love that don't know how to break the ice—until they do. misunderstandings. Noah has almost shoulder-length hair in this one. manbun!noah. angsty fluff, dirty talk, sexual content (implied masturbation, oral sex with both receiving, p in v protected). mentions of reader having a scar but no further explanation (implied past abuse but no more references to it). fluff, beach setting, noah applying sunscreen on reader, reader having a kink for noah's hair. let me know if sth else needs to be added. - Work inspired by this post by @defuckingthrone-dot-com - Honorable mention to @somebodyels3 for letting me use her butterflyclip-thoughts on this one 🦋

years of sleep — part 1 ☀︎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It’s not the first time they’ve seen each other, but it’s the first time they’ve looked at one another from opposite ends of the room as if nothing else exists. 

They have known each other for two, maybe three years. Her friends are Noah’s friends, and by extension, they have become part of the same circle. Yet, despite the shared acquaintances, despite the countless gatherings and parties and concerts, they have never really spoken—never dared to exchange more than a handful of pleasantries, a few polite questions, and the passing comment about how great the show’d been before drifting away.

But there’s obviously something there. Something that’s always been. 

And tonight, they can’t escape what it’s meant to be.  

The wedding takes place at a seaside resort, where lush gardens stretch toward the shore, with palm trees everywhere swaying in the breeze, and a stone path that leads to an extensive beach. 

She first sees Noah in the hotel lobby. The space is crowded, buzzing with conversation and laughter. The moment their eyes meet, the world shrinks. A pull—subtle but magnetic—draws them in. And then, as if fate conspires to close the distance, Nicholas the groom, appears beside her and steers her toward Noah. 

Their greeting is brief, restrained. A formal hug. Fleeting contact. Her hello stays in his mind. Her voice is soft and sweet. Confident, too. And that smile? That pretty smile has him struggling for words. 

He wants to tell her she looks beautiful. He doubts he’ll have eyes for anyone else that night, not even for the two getting married. 

She wears a slate-gray dress, short and form-fitting, adorned with delicate rhinestones that catch the light. The thin straps expose her shoulders, her collarbone. There’s a necklace around her neck that could easily pass for a choker. The thought makes something in Noah twitch. Her earrings match the glimmer of it beneath the cascading waves of her hair. Her perfume, her scent… It unsettles him in a way he doesn’t fully understand. But, if he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to.

 He could say all of this to her, or he could keep it simple: You look beautiful. But he says nothing. Instead, he pretends to be interested in whatever Nicholas is saying to Matt, though he’s acutely aware of her gaze on him.

She’s just as aware of him—because, for all his efforts, he’s terrible at being subtle.

Noah looks devastatingly handsome today. A black double-breasted suit accentuates his lean frame, and for the first time, his brunette hair is pulled back into a low bun. It’s the first time she’s seen him with his hair up and there’s something about it that’s very attractive. So attractive that she has to turn around to avoid Noah seeing her nibble on her lower lip.  

As she looks away, so does he, letting Matt claim his attention. Alana claims hers, arriving in a stunning purple gown, effervescent with excitement. Her joy is infectious, so much so that, for a moment, she can pretend she hasn’t just spent the last few seconds lost in thoughts of Noah.

The venue is bathed in soft, ivory hues. Rows of elegantly arranged chairs line the aisle, their white cushions pristine beneath the glow of the sun. Sheer white drapery frames the altar, where tall glass vases filled with delicate baby’s breath and white orchids stand on either side. 

Noah stands on one side of the venue, positioned between Matt and Jolly. She is on the opposite side of the main path, nestled among the bride’s family and friends. She’s never thought much about marriage, but for the first time, the idea doesn’t seem so distant. She wouldn’t mind standing where the bride is now, as long as the man beside her is N—

She doesn’t have time to shake herself from the absurdity of that thought because, at that moment, the bride and groom seal their promises with a kiss. The room erupts in applause and cheers.

She dares to glance to her right. And as if drawn by an invisible thread, Noah looks her way, catching her eyes.

He’s clapping, like everyone else, but he stands out. He’s taller than most, impossible to miss. And then, he winks at her—a wink accompanied by a smile so effortlessly confident, so devastatingly attractive, that her knees nearly give way beneath her.

She’s in deep trouble.

God, she just hopes the makeup conceals the flush creeping up her cheeks. 

The celebration continues. The air is filled with laughter and clinking glasses. Music swells through the venue. The food is exquisite, the drinks abundant, and the guests are entertained. 

Despite the social nature of his job, Noah isn’t someone particularly outgoing and social. Rather, he prefers to keep to himself. 

But tonight is different. Tonight, he’s at ease, caught in the warmth of celebration, happy for his best friend. The air hums with good vibes, and for once, he isn’t the center of attention. He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Not just because his friend is getting married, but because this day has given him something he’d never had before—an entire day and night in her presence.

The hours slip by, and frustration coils inside him. She’s right there, close enough to touch, yet he can’t seem to break the fucking ice. It’s maddening. He’s trapped in a dance of restraint. He knows it must be obvious, the way he looks at her, the way his body betrays every thought he tries to suppress. She’s the girl he’s barely spoken to, the one he’s only seen in fleeting occasions—yet he’s consumed by her. He’s been thinking of her for weeks, months. Even years, for fuck’s sake. She’s in his dreams. 

He’s dying to know her, to be near her, to hear the cadence of her voice as she talks about the things she loves and the ones she hates. He wants to learn her—her flaws, her habits, the little things. 

But more than anything, he wants to know the taste of her lips, the sounds she makes when she’s touched in the right places, the way she will moan when his hands and lips press on her skin and when his cock is buried deep inside her. 

He has to do something about it, and even though it’s been almost the whole day already, he’s willing to do it tonight.

As the others drink and the minutes slip away, Noah watches her. Discreetly. Intently. 

The way she moves, so gracefully and entirely unselfconscious. The way she leans into her friends when she speaks. The dimple that appears in her left cheek each time she laughs, the way her shoulders shake, the way her hair ripples with her movements. She keeps tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, but it refuses to be tamed. 

And he watches the way she blushes every time she catches him looking. 

When the clock strikes midnight, the dance floor overflows with guests, lost in the music. Neckties have been loosened, hairpins discarded. Jolly has long since abandoned his suit jacket. Matt sits at the table with a girl on his lap, whispering something in her ear that’s making her laugh so hard that even Noah is tempted to walk over and find out what the hell he’s saying. Nicholas and his bride have disappeared, and Noah smiles at the realization, exhaling a quiet laugh as he finishes the last sip of his champagne. Then, he’s back to looking for her. 

And he finds her. 

This time near the exit that leads to the garden, which is so dark and only dimmed by beautifully decorated lampposts with vine and white flowers wrapping around them. 

She stands at the threshold of the stone path, the soft glow from the lanterns casting a golden halo around her. The distance between them is vast—he’s at the other end of the room. But it doesn’t matter. They don’t need words to communicate. 

She blinks. A glance over her shoulder. 

And then she’s gone. 

Noah sets down his glass without a thought as he rises from his seat. His jacket is left behind—he likely won’t see it again, much like Jolly’s. 

He weaves through the throng of dancing bodies, mutters apologies, sidesteps laughter and swaying limbs, people kissing. The pulse of the music fades as he steps outside, swallowed by the stillness of the night and the back noise of waves crashing. 

She’s out of sight. 

But he can smell her. 

Burberry. Vanilla, rich and warm, laced with something darker, something almost sinful. 

He follows the scent. 

The stone path leads to a fork—one trail winds toward the beach, the other into the garden. 

He hesitates, pulse thrumming. Instinct takes over. He veers into the garden. 

Minutes later, he moves parallel to a stretch of resort rooms, their arched balconies overlooking the grounds. Streetlamps line the pathway. A sea breeze stirs the palm fronds, the leaves whispering secrets into the night. 

And somewhere ahead, she waits. 

It has been almost five minutes since she slipped out of the wedding hall. She leans against the wall of one of the buildings closest to the beach, the stoney surface pressing against her bare shoulders. Noah still hasn’t appeared. 

Maybe she misread everything—his looks, his winks, the tenderness of his smiles. Maybe she wasn’t obvious enough. Maybe the pull between them was only in her head, a trick of longing and circumstance. Or maybe it’s just the wedding, the romance in the air making her see things that aren’t really there.

Exhaling, she pushes off the wall and steps into the garden, rounding the corner of the small building. 

And collides with a solid chest. 

The impact is sudden, stealing her breath. Instinctively, her hands fly to the masculine chest for balance, fingers splaying over the firm muscle beneath the black shirt. His hands find her waist, steadying her, holding her in place. 

For a moment, neither of them moves. 

She looks up, and Noah’s almond-shaped eyes pierce trough her, dark but soft. The scent of his cologne—woodsy, expensive—wraps around her, muddling her thoughts. 

Under her palms, she feels the taut ridges of his abdomen. 

Under his hands, he feels the softness of her curves, the warmth of her body through the thin fabric of her dress. 

It takes everything in him not to let his hands drift lower—to her ass. 

Then, as if the absurdity of the moment catches up with them, they grin—two idiots completely and utterly lost in each other. 

A second later, Noah lifts a hand to her cheek, fingers featherlight as he tilts her face up to his. 

And he kisses her.

His lips capture hers, slow at first, testing, savoring. She melts instantly, arms winding around his neck, her fingers slipping into his hair. Even in heels, she must rise onto her toes to reach him properly. And this mouth—warm and insistent— tastes of champagne, a sweetness that only makes her hungrier for more. 

She barely notices when he presses her against the wall, steading himself with a palm on the wall next to her head.

By the time she comes to, she’s breathless, her lips are swollen, and Noah’s body is caging hers, his hands cradling her face now, his thumb stroking her skin. He watches her for a moment before his mouth trails from her jawline to the sensitive column of her neck, and when his lips graze that one spot—that spot—heat coils deep in her belly. 

She would have collapsed if not for the hand he slides to her waist, anchoring her, keeping her exactly where he wants her. 

“Let me take you to my room,” he murmurs against her skin. His voice is husky and his breath hot. 

He pauses just long enough, searching her eyes, making sure she knows that this is entirely up to her. Whatever she wants. Whatever she desires. 

It’s the quiet patience in his expression, the almost tender way he waits, that has her putty in his hands. She knows she’ll always be safe with him. It doesn’t matter that they haven’t spent more than five minutes alone together. She feels it in her bones, in the space between them, in the way he looks at her like she’s the only thing that matters.

Her answer is effortless. 

“Lead the way,” she says with a smile. 

Noah’s grin widens. He steals another kiss—because he can’t help himself—before lacing his long, tattooed fingers through hers. 

Without another word, he leads her away. Away from the music, away from the voices, from prying eyes. 

The walk to the room is hurried. Adrenaline and hunger run through their veins. Noah grips her hand, glancing over his shoulder every few moments, his smile impossibly wide, as if he already knows that there’s nothing that’ll change how the night will end. 

He barely makes it to the door without stopping midway to press her against the nearest wall, to claim her lips again, to let his hands roam freely over the curves he has only imagined. 

By the time they reach the secluded corridor where their rooms are, they are almost running. 

A strap of her dress has fallen, slipping down the smooth expanse of her shoulder, and just as Noah swipes his keycard against the door reader, he notices. 

“Wait.”

Two fingers graze skin as he lifts the strap, restoring it to its place. 

The mere brush of his fingers on her skin gives him such a sensation that goosebumps rise on his skin. Noah holds her gaze for a moment. As he gets ready to open the door, her hands curl into the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to her. Her mouth meets his in a kiss so deep, so hungry, that Noah nearly forgets himself, nearly forgets where they are, forgets that anyone could walk by and see him stripping her bare against the cool marble hallway floor and making love to her. 

Somehow, through sheer willpower, he manages to open the door and push her inside, barely breaking contact with her lips. 

Inside, he fumbles for the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a light cozy glow. 

She’s already pulling the hairband from his hair, letting the strands fall loose around his face. She threads her fingers through them. She doesn’t know what shampoo he uses but his hair smells like paradise.

Everything is messy. Desperate. A little awkward. 

And yet, within seconds, they are standing at the center of the room, facing the untouched bed.

She pauses, chest rising and falling, one hand at the nape of his neck, the other resting lightly on his chest. 

She looks around. His belongings are neatly arranged, each item in its proper place. The small details confirm everything she already suspected about him—Noah is meticulous. Even in chaos, he is composed. He’s perfect, and the hand on his hip, delicate and supportive, adoring but never crossing the line, confirms it too.

He’s waiting for her to say something, so his heart almost skips a beat when she slides to her knees on the floor. Heels still on. Her hands on his belt. 

Noah lets her unbuckle it. Fingers move with precision, making quick work of the button and zipper of his slacks. His shirt is next—he unbuttons it, but leaves it open, exposing tattooed skin, muscle, inked lines she clearly wasn’t prepared for.

She inhales sharply.

A near-moan escapes her lips at the sight of him, and Noah smirks.

He would have teased her for it—would have taken his time letting her explore—but then she tugs down his pants.

Her breath catches.

The outline straining against his black Calvin Klein boxers is… larger than she expected.

He watches the moment she processes it, sees the way her pupils dilate, the way her tongue peeks out to wet her lips.

She flicks her gaze up at him, seeking confirmation, blinking once—twice—before curling her fingers around the waistband of his boxers.

And when she pulls them down, Noah is the one exhaling sharply. 

She doesn’t break eye contact.

And when she finally moves forward, Noah knows—he’s done for.

She licks him from the base to the tip. She takes her time, savoring him and entertaining herself just enough to make him shudder. She revels in his reaction before enveloping him in the warm, wet heat of her mouth and taking him on the ride of his life. 

For the first few moments, Noah doesn’t know what to do with himself. He throws his head back and lets out a guttural sound as she takes him deeper, the suction sending jolts of pleasure straight to his core. His muscles tense, his hands flex at his sides, his breath starts coming in in ragged gasps.

His fingers twitch before finding their way into her hair, threading through the silky strands as he cradles her head and looks down at her. Such a good girl.

She looks so focused. He strokes her scalp gently, then guides her back and forth, his control unraveling with every flick of her tongue, every hollow of her cheeks. That’s it. Keep going. A vein bulges at his neck as he struggles to keep himself in check. 

“That’s... Yes. God, sweetheart.”

The sight of her, those lips stretched around him, eyes flickering up to watch his reaction… 

With a sharp breath, he forces himself to pull away, already mourning the loss of her warmth. He runs a thumb over her lower lip, and she catches it between her teeth, nibbling at it. The action makes him laugh—a deep, throaty sound. 

He offers his hand, and she takes it, rising to her feet. Without hesitation, she slides the straps of her dress down her shoulders, letting the fabric slip past her curves and pool at her feet. 

She’s not wearing a bra, and the thong she wears is nothing more than a whisper of lace, a mere suggestion of modesty. 

Noah eats her up with his eyes.

Before he can reach for her, she turns, climbing onto the bed, moving like a kitten. She pauses on all fours to look at him over her shoulder with a coy smile that makes his stomach clench. 

Noah swallows hard. He’s about to lose it. 

When she shifts to sit back, reaching for her heels, he stops her with a touch.

“Let me.”

He pulls his underwear and pants back up before kneeling at the edge of the bed. His grip tender as he slides her shoes off, pressing a kiss to the skin of her ankle. The care in his touch makes her pulse race. It’s so gentlemanly. She’s never felt so cherished. So lucky.

Her underwear comes off next. The weight of Noah’s eyes on her feels heavy, but it makes her feel safe anyway. She wants him. 

She reclines against the pillows, stretching out languidly. She parts her legs. Noah stands there for a breath, taking her in. Her confidence only deepens his hunger. 

He sheds his clothing and shoes and joins her, covering her body with his without yet touching. His fingers trail up her cheeks, his eyes searching hers. 

“Where do you want me?” he murmurs. 

“Anywhere you wish to be.”

He laughs and she trembles under him, loving the sound. 

That’s easy, he thinks. I’m already in bed, with you.

Still, he takes his time, kissing his way down her body, savoring every inch. Loving how the necklace wraps around her neck. He spends needed time on her breasts, playing with her nipples, his tongue circling, lapping. He looks up to see her lips parted and her eyes intently on him. She still not making any sound. Not yet. 

When his hand slides down her ribcage, he notices an old, ugly scar, just beneath her left breast. He also notices the way she stills. He takes one look at her, then kisses the scar without saying anything else and moves on. 

He worships her belly, dips his tongue into her navel, nibbles at her hip bones. 

He leaves the bed only to sit back on his heels on the carpeted floor. He searches for his hairband discarded earlier. When he finds it, he ties his hair up again, the sight alone enough to make wetness pool between her legs.  

Without warning, he pulls her toward him by the ankles. 

A gasp escapes her as he buries himself between her thighs.

There it is. 

His tongue parts her, teasing. He tastes her like a man starved, and it’s the truth—he’s been starving for her for years. His hands grip her hips, holding her in place as she starts to writhe beneath him.

She makes another sound. A soft, breathy moan. Then another. And another. 

It’s the sweetest, most erotic music he’s ever heard, and it only makes him more relentless. He keeps on sucking. He doesn’t stop, not until she’s trembling under him, clutching the sheets, her thighs quivering around his head. 

“Beautiful,” he says. 

She’s still catching her breath when she peeks up at him from beneath heavy lids, her cheeks flushed and lips dry and slightly parted. The sight makes him chuckle, the sound so laced with affection that it envelops her as if the sound of it alone was a comforting blanket. 

“Condom?” she asks when she regains some stability in her breathing. 

Noah blinks, nodding as he starts looking around and rummaging through his things. 

“I’ve got one… just give me a—” He curses under his breath, shoving aside his clothes. She watches him move around the room naked, cock hard. “Fuck. I know I have one… somewhere.”

She laughs, watching his frantic search with amusement. She has no idea that, at this very moment, Noah is contemplating death if he doesn’t find it. But then he spots it. He tears open the packet and rolls it onto him. He exhales sharply, running a hand through his still tied hair but pushing a lose strand back. “Sorted,” he mutters, positioning himself over her on the bed. 

She slides a hand behind his neck, drawing him closer. 

“Come here,” she demands softly. 

And God help him, he does.

She unties his hair, again, freeing the brunette strands to cascade over his forehead. Her fingers slide through the locks, and at the same moment, he pushes into her, slow and deep. 

A gasp catches in her throat as she stretches around him, heat and wetness engulfing every inch of him. 

He feels fuzzy. It’s unbearable, exquisite. His eyes are locked onto hers, and for a breathless second, they simply exist. A moan spills from his lips at the exact moment one escapes her, their voices melding in perfect synchrony.  

It’s better than he ever imagined.

It’s better than she ever imagined. 

He waits, letting her adjust. When she shifts, just the smallest tilt of her hips, it’s all the encouragement he needs. He moves, achingly slow, each stroke a deliberate act of worship, so careful it almost makes her go mad. A tight, desperate sensation builds in her chest, and for a moment, she thinks she might cry. 

She has imagined herself under his body many times. Too many to admit. She has touched herself in the quiet of night, fingers slipping between her thighs, wondering what it would feel like to take him this way, to feel his hardness inside her, the delicious weight of him pressing her into the mattress. To experience the solid heat of his body, his pubic bone against hers, the muscles of his stomach flexing against her own, his breath coming in broken gasps against her lips as he steals kisses whenever he can. 

Reality is nothing like she imagined. 

It’s a thousand times better. 

Noah is heavy and much bigger than she is, but instead of feeling smothered by his weight, she feels enveloped in a delicious embrace that promises to take her all the way to paradise, if she’s not already in it. 

His pace is controlled. The way he moves over her, the way he looks at her, with a little wrinkle between his eyebrows that says he’s being a victim of this delicious torture too, the way his hands touch her body, cling to her... 

His thrusts grow harder, faster. Her thighs cling to his hips. Her feet hoover just above the mattress. Her nails sink into the inked skin of his back as the pressure builds, and he hisses through his teeth. His reaction is instant. He catches her wrists, gathers them in one of his large hands, and pins them to the pillow above her head.

Her breath stutters.

Then, without warning, he thrusts deep.

Take me.

A strangled cry tears from her throat.

Noah’s rhythm shifts, urgency overtaking restraint. His movements become frantic, driven by something raw and insatiable, and she matches him, meeting every thrust, begging for more. A bead of sweat rolls down his temple. She can feel the heat of him everywhere—his sweaty skin against hers, his breath hot and labored against her lips, his body relentless in its pursuit of ecstasy. 

If she thought he was handsome before, it’s clear she hadn’t seen him fucking her, covered in sweat and lost in the decadent dance his body is dancing with hers. 

“I’m going to come,” he warns when he knows his release is imminent, voice rough and desperate. 

She feels a rush of satisfaction so intense it nearly tips her over the edge. She wants to prolong this, stretch it into eternity, but she also wants to see him break. She wants to watch him fall apart. See his expression when it happens. 

         Noah is holding on by a thread. He thinks about how once he comes, he’s going to get her to follow him, and then he wants to hold her and have her fall asleep in his arms. In the morning, he wants to see her wake up, blink up at him through sleepy eyes, wants to see her make up-free, in the first light of dawn.     

Fuck, he’s in so deep. And not just physically.

As he teeters at the edge, he refuses to go alone. He slides a hand between them, finding the swollen bundle of nerves that will send her spiraling with him. His fingers work, and within seconds, she is there, climbing, soaring, shattering. The orgasm is scorching. Noah practically roars against her shoulder, biting her without intending to, but she seems to like it, because the moment his teeth sink into her shoulder, she tenses around him. He is still spasming, releasing himself into the condom, when she trembles, arches, and suddenly moans loudly and prolonged. 

She is coming and squeezing him, every last drop. 

His arms hold her against him, crushing her to him as they both tremble through the aftershocks. She can feel the erratic thump of his heart against her chest. He can feel the sweat of her skin clinging to his. 

They feel...at home. 

Noah tilts his head to look at her, catching on the red marks he’s left on her skin. On her shoulder. Clavicle. Breasts. Suddenly, there’s uncertainty flickering behind his eyes. 

He’s never done this—whatever this is. He knows it’s not just sex. It’s something more. Something that’s been brewing, growing beneath the surface for some time. 

She opens her eyes, lips parted, still catching her breath. The sight of her like this, so flushed and disheveled, so swollen from his kisses, hair tangled in wild waves around her face… She could easily fall for a nymph, ethereal and untamed, as if she belongs to the wild.

“Are you okay?”

Noah is surprised, for it is not him asking the question, but her. He almost laughs. 

“I’m fine,” he assures her. 

Without thinking twice, he lifts a hand and brushes his fingers along the curve of her cheek, soft and reverent in his touch. This moment—the after—, this touch, it feels like a greater intimacy than anything they have just done.

Her lips touch the line of his jaw, nuzzling against the faint stubble that has already begun to shadow his skin. He shaved that morning, but the roughness is there, and she loves it. 

His kisses are different now—ghostly, soft and quiet. They make her heart grow wings and flutter. 

Noah pulls away with obvious reluctance, murmuring something about taking care of them. She watches as he slips from the bed, and the moment he is gone, she feels the loss of him like a physical ache. Still, she gathers herself enough to ask him to open the sliding doors to the ground-floor balcony. Noah obliges, and when he does, the distant murmur of laughter and music drifts from the garden, a reminder that the rest of the world still exists beyond this room. 

When he returns, he is utterly, shamelessly naked. He moves with the confidence of someone at home, still just as devastating and delicious as he was that morning, when he was wrapped in a tux and his hair was pulled into a perfect man bun.

She wants to keep Noah for herself. Forever. 

He holds a damp hand towel, hesitating only a moment as he approaches the mattress and murmurs, “May I?”

She nods. 

The first touch of warm cloth against her oversensitive skin makes her shudder. He is careful, tender in a way nobody has ever been with her. She holds her breath. She’s never been cared for like this. 

Minutes later, he stands beside the bed, still naked, hesitating. 

She watches him, her knees drawn up, an arm draped loosely over her chest. A cool breeze filters through the open door, rustling the curtains. Salt and water. 

“Stay,” Noah says, his voice almost tentative. “Please? I promise I don’t snore.”

She has to laugh. He’s so adorable. She nods. 

Relief floods his face as he climbs in beside her, tugging the sheets over them. She curls against him instinctively, pressing her face into the warm space between his shoulder and neck. 

Noah smells of sex and that masculine stench that is every man’s own. If only she knew that he is inhaling her too... And that, deep inside, he wants to wake up with his nose in her hair and her naked body clinging to him all the mornings he has left.

They talk for a while in hushed voices, the adrenaline still pulsing through them. He asks about her favorite food and her favorite flowers. She asks about his hobbies. About his job—what’s the best and worst of it. He mentions martial arts, and she hums, intrigued, and not-so-subtly lets her hands explore his biceps, his thighs, all tattooed, confirming what she already knew. He is strong, but beneath all that muscle, there is softness too. 

She falls asleep half on top of him. 

Noah falls asleep with a hand resting on the small of her back, fingers curled over the curve of her ass, the other cradling the back of her neck, keeping her close as if afraid to let go, and his nose buried in her hair, just like he’s dreamed so many times. 

When she wakes up, her cheek is pressed against something firm yet solid and comfortable. It takes a few seconds for reality to settle around her, her mind still tangled in the haze of sleep. The first thing she registers is the faint soreness between her legs. For a moment, her heart leaps in her chest in surprise, but then she becomes aware of the calm that envelops her, of the warmth and security she feels. Of the arm around her, pressing her tenderly against the male body lying on the bed. 

She lifts her head, and there he is. Noah fast asleep. His breathing slow and steady, lips slightly parted revealing just a hint of his teeth. A stray lock of hair has fallen over his cheek, and before she can think better of it, she reaches out and brushes it aside. 

Noah is a handsome man, but like this, with his guard down, his face relaxed, his body molded against her—he’s breathtakingly beautiful. 

Surrendering to temptation again, she’s about to kiss him and wake him up, steal the first drowsy moments of his morning, when a vibration hums from the nightstand on his side. 

The screen of his phone lights up, and her eyes are instinctively drawn to it. Half draped over his chest, she reaches out just to check the time, but the moment she picks it up, a notification banner flashes across the screen.  

LILIPUTH 👶🏼 "Hey! Mom wants to know if you can pick me up Friday instead of Saturday. She’s busy Saturday morning, so she’d rather drop me at the airport Friday. She says to hurry up because we’re already late, and flights are super expensive! Also, she kinda thinks you should pay for them... but don’t tell her I said that! See you soon!

She frowns. She processes the message. What it means, or what it could mean. 

“Mom says”?

Liliputh and a baby emoticon?

“Pick me up”?

He should’ve paid for flight tickets?

Her stomach twists.

The phone nearly slips from her grasp as the words sink in. 

Fuck.

Is Noah married?

Divorced?

Does he have...a child? Because that sure as hell sounds like a whole lot of parental responsibilities.

She’s holding her breath. Her mind scrambles to piece together a puzzle she wasn’t expecting, one she wasn’t even aware existed. 

And it’s not that he’s done anything wrong. It’s not that he’s lied. 

But she hadn’t thought about Noah having a life before her. A life this big. 

Panic swells in her throat. She realizes she’s laying on top of him sideways, her breasts pressing against his tatted chest. She’s panicking. She no longer feels comfortable or safe in his arms. The sheets feel more like a trap rather than a cocoon of safety. She needs air. She needs space. She needs to get out. 

It takes her less than two minutes to slip out from his arms, gather her clothes, and make it to the door in last night’s dress, barefoot, heels in hand. She doesn’t look back. Her bare feet move silently against the floor. Once she reaches the hallway, she presses her back against the door, heart slamming wildly against her ribs. 

She doesn’t want to leave. 

She wants to stay.

To crawl back into bed, to wake up tangled in his limbs, to feel the weight of his body over hers, his scent. She wants to hear his voice in the morning—sleep-rough and drowsy, whispering the same sinful things he murmured to her in the dead of night when she had been sleeping with her head on his bicep and he’d made love to her again, slow and deep, from behind her. He had first teased her with the tip, kissing her shoulders and neck. A minute later, they were slowly making love, his hand entwining her fingers over her breasts, his hot breath on the back of her neck.

“Can’t tell you how many times I’ve touched myself thinking of you—of this.” 

He’d been so attentive and hot the entire night, guiding her as he told her to fuck him, to rock herself against him, to use him… so tuned in with her as he talked her through her orgasm, encouraging her to make a mess on his cock…

She feels... confused and disoriented. In her head, she’s spent years with this perfect idea of Noah, of who he is, of how wonderful it would be to be with him... and suddenly, a simple message destroys all of that. 

It’s not a message. 

It’s reality.

The rest was her fantasy. Her fault. 

The things he had said to her during the night echo in her head. The perfect Noah and the perfect life she had created around him was nothing but an illusion, and now it had shattered, and with it her heart.

years of sleep — part 2 ☀︎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Three hours later, late summer morning, the resort is buzzing with life. Most of the guests, primarily wedding attendees, have slept in, recovering from a celebration that lasted into the early hours. Others have been up since dawn, making the most of their vacation.

She sits at one of the poolside lounge tables, fingers idly tracing the rim of a half-empty glass of orange juice. Sunglasses shield her eyes, and though she’s showered and changed into a simple pastel blue sundress, she still feels the weight of the night lingering in her bones. 

Nicholas and his new wife must already be enroute to their honeymoon destination. Meanwhile, she’s stranded at this oceanside resort, three hours from Los Angeles, until tomorrow. 

And she has no idea how she’s going to spend the next twenty-four hours. 

In her mind, last night should have led to something different—a different chain of events, a different morning, a different future. She had pictured waking up in Noah’s arms, spending the day tangled up in him, stealing kisses between lazy moments and sunlit swims, and ending the night with slow walks along the beach under the stars…

But now, it’s painfully clear that none of that is going to happen. 

“And that long face on such a sunny morning?”

Davis’s voice cuts through her thoughts, drawing her attention to the walkway leading toward the parasol-covered tables. 

She forces a smile, slouching slightly in her chair in an attempt to appear more relaxed. She doesn’t want to bring anyone else down. This is supposed to be a happy day. Everyone else is happy. She refuses to ruin that. 

“Hungover?” Davis tilts his head, eyeing her. 

The way he asks makes her laugh, though the sound feels hollow. He’s swapped last night’s suit for white Bermuda shorts and a floral short-sleeve button-up. He’s really embracing the beach resort vibes. 

“Something like that,” she replies. Though the truth is that, despite sleeping late and being woken up at 4am for another round of sex, she slept soundly. 

“That makes two of us,” another voice chimes in. 

Folio drops into the chair beside her, a beer already in hand. She refrains from commenting on it. He’s dressed similarly to Davis, a backward cap covering his messy hair. 

“Well, you don’t look like it,” Davis notes. 

“That’s because I never hit the bed in the first place,” Folio grins. 

“You didn’t sleep?” Davis guesses. 

“Nope. Figured I’d just keep the party going. Took a swim at sunrise. Man, that’s an experience.”

The two launch into a conversation about his early-morning adventures and order some fruit and pancakes to be brought to the table. Eventually, they notice how quiet she is. 

“What’s with you?” Davis asks through a mouthful of blueberries. “Haven’t slept either?”

Folio smirks. “Or did someone keep you up all night?” He wiggles his eyebrows, his gaze dropping pointedly to the red blotches on her skin. Noah’s lovebites.

She barely reacts. She simply lowers her sunglasses and shoots Folio a pointed look. His grin falters immediately. 

“Oh, it’s definitely that. Who—?”

Before Folio can finish the question, Davis has already put the pieces together. 

“You slept with Noah.”

Hearing someone say it aloud makes it even more real. Her mind floods with images—Noah’s touch, the sweet and filthy things he said to her, the way he held her, the way he felt. Honeyed and intense.

She wraps both hands around the glass, lips pressing together. 

“Really?” Folio leans forward, elbows resting on the chair armrests. “And why do you look like that? Don’t tell me Noah isn’t well-equipped down there.”

She clicks her tongue, annoyed. “It’s not that.”

“So, he is. Is his performance not up to—”

“Nick,” Davis sighs.

“Okay, okay…” he puts his hands up. “Do we need to kick his ass?”

She hesitates, her fingers twitching, before finally voicing the question that has been gnawing at her insides since dawn. 

“Noah has a daughter?”

Folio’s grin vanishes. His brows furrow in confusion, then lift in something close to horror. 

“What?”

She looks between them. “Is he married? Divorced?”

Davis just stares at her, as if trying to understand where this is coming from. 

“You know Noah is single.”

“No. Actually, I don’t. I don’t know anything about Noah. Not really,” she snaps. “I only know what everyone else knows—what you guys tell me. He’s always the quiet one. I don’t know more than what I’ve put together from—from the way he behaves around me and with you guys. And none of you ever mentioned a wife. Or a daughter. Or—”

“Because he’s not married. And he doesn’t have a daughter,” Folios interrupts with a laugh. “At least not that I know of. Can you even imagine Noah married and with a baby?” He looks over at Davis, but Davis just shoots him a warning glance. 

Davis turns back to her with a soft expression. “Come on. You know exactly who Noah is. I know everyone acts like he’s this mysterious, unreadable guy just because he’s private, but the truth is, he’s exactly what you see. He’s quiet, yeah, but he doesn’t need to say much to show you who he is. He writes, he makes music, he lets go on stage… He’s the deep, poetic guy who likes to meditate in the morning and never really raises his voice. He’s thoughtful, maybe too much, and he appreciates life in that annoyingly profound way.” Davis huffs a small laugh. “Even if you haven’t spent much time with him, you know he’s single. The real question is how you two went so long without saying a word to each other when it’s obvious you’ve been pining for one another for years.”

Her heart stutters. “Years? What are you talking about?”

Folio rolls his eyes.

“What are you talking about? Everyone knows you and Noah have been into each other for ages, but because you’re both equally clueless or shy or whatever, you waited until Ruffilo’s wedding to finally do something about it. And now you’re coming in here all ‘Noah is a dad?!’ What the hell did you drink last night? Or more like, what did Noah do to you in bed?”

She groans. Before they can derail the conversation any further, she drops her eyes and mutters, “I saw a message on his phone.”

“A message?”

“From someone named Lily. Liliputh,” she specifies. 

Folio and Davis exchange a glance, and she immediately realizes that yes, there are things about Noah she doesn’t know, and they do. 

Folio cuts into his pancakes, spears a piece with his fork, and pops it into his mouth.

“Lily is Noah’s niece,” Davis explains. “His sister’s daughter. She’s twelve.”

She blinks. 

Once. 

Twice.

“Noah has a sister?”

Since when?

“Yeah. Older. She lives in New York. They only see each other a couple of times a year, that’s why he’s probably never mentioned her. He barely does to us, anyway. But they’re close, and I’m guessing Lily asked to come spend a few days in L.A. before school starts again, and Noah’s offered to take care of her.”

A wave of heat rushes to her cheeks. “Oh my God.”

Folio bursts out laughing, struggling to keep the food in his mouth. “You really thought Noah had a whole-ass daughter? And you thought he was divorced, too?”

She sinks in her seat. “It’s not funny.”

“No, but your reaction is. How many Hallmark movies have you watched?”

Davis, however, looks more thoughtful. “So… you freaked out.”

She sighs. “Yeah…”

“And Noah wasn’t awake when you saw the message, was he?”

“No.”

“So, you got up and left. Without saying a word.”

Her silence and the guilt written all over her face are answer enough.

After a beat, Folio deadpans, “You banged Noah,” he states. “And then you disappeared.”

She shoots him another glare, tempted to kick his shin under the table. “I didn’t disappear. I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but not in his bed,” Davis points out. “How would you feel if the roles were reversed? If you woke up after sleeping with him, and he was gone?

A knot tightens in her chest. 

Terrible. Used. Heartbroken. 

Guilt crashes over her, so heavy it makes her stomach churn. Good thing she hasn’t eaten anything… She bites her lip so hard she nearly draws blood. She needs to fix this. 

“Will he… be mad?”

David considers the question at the same time he savors a piece of mango. “Knowing Noah and how much he’s into you… he’ll understand. You just need to talk to him. Tell him why you freaked out. He’ll have a good laugh and later he’ll probably get you back into his bed. Problem sorted.”

How much he’s into me? The way Davis talks about Noah’s feelings is unsettling, like he knows something she doesn’t. Has it always been there, in front of her, and she hasn’t been able to see it until last night?

For years, she has lived off stolen glances and fleeting moments—content with fantasies rather than the courage to actually approach Noah like a normal person would. She always chalked up his teasing and looks to his naturally charming nature. Noah has always been boyfriend material—but never her boyfriend. 

Had she known earlier that Noah was pining for her, butterflies would have erupted in her stomach sooner. She might have finally gathered the nerve to walk up to him, to flirt back in a way that was more obvious to him about her feelings. But now, after abandoning him in that hotel room, she just feels awful. If she can’t fix this, she might as well walk straight into the ocean and let the waves take her. 

“Hey,” Folio squeezed her shoulder, snapping her out of her spiraling thoughts. His voice is suddenly surprisingly gentle. “It’s okay. This is not some huge, unforgivable thing. Nothing a blowjob can’t fix. Knowing Noah…”

Davis makes a disgusted noise, pushing his plate away. “Jesus Christ, man. How well do you know Noah?”

Folio throws his hands up again. “It’s a figure of speech, for fuck’s sake. What I mean is, Noah’s not the type to hold a grudge. And if there’s someone who can sweeten him up, that’s you. Talk to him. And if talking doesn’t do the trick… well, give him the look, get down on your knees, and boom—problem solved.”

She debates whether to smack him, but the absurdity of it all makes her laugh instead. Did she really think Noah had a teenage daughter? That he was divorced? She laughs at herself and internally thanks Folio, who always has a way of dragging her out of her head, whether she wants him or not. 

And much to her own frustration… she can’t stop thinking about what he said. 

If talking doesn’t get Noah to forgive her, she’ll do it on her knees and blinking up at him with her big puppy eyes. 

An hour later, after wandering alone by the sea for a while and going over the things she’ll say to Noah when she sees him again, she makes her way back to the hotel. Her sandals dangle from her fingers, her bare feet still damp from where the waves had lapped at her skin. She’s hungry, her body demanding a late breakfast or an early lunch. 

But more than anything, it’s her heart which is demanding. Demanding Noah, to find him, talk to him and— 

She sees him before he sees her. 

He’s at the reception desk, leaning on the counter, dressed in black jeans—in this heat, seriously?— and a white t-shirt. His hair is pulled into the same bun as last night, and he’s wearing black sunglasses. He’s chatting with the receptionist, a woman who smiles at him as she listens intently to whatever he’s saying. Before jealousy can settle in, the receptionist nods and disappears into the back room. 

That’s when Noah turns, reaching into his pocket for his phone, only to freeze the moment his eyes land on her. 

She doesn’t know what to expect. A flicker of irritation? Confusion? Anger? 

But not this. 

Not the way his entire face lights up. Not the way his lips stretch into a slow, easy grin, like seeing her is the best thing that’s happened to him all day. All week. 

“Hey,” he says. 

Her stomach does that thing. 

Hey? 

She approaches cautiously, hyper-aware of his almond-shaped eyes sweeping over her behind those black sunglasses. 

“Hi,” she greets. 

Silence stretches between them. For her, it’s suffocating. But Noah? He seems completely at ease, looking at her like she’s the goddamn sun. 

“Noah,” her voice betrays her a little. She fidgets with her fingers, taking a small step closer. “About this morning, I—”

The receptionist returns, holding a black tuxedo jacket. 

“Here it is, sir.”

Noah turns to her.

“Oh, thank God.” He exhales, taking the jacket and shaking it out. “Thought I’d lost it for good. Or that someone walked off with it.”

“Not at all,” the female behind the counter replies with a polite smile. “Anything else I can help with?”

Her eyes flick between Noah and her before Noah tells her “no, thank you” and she heads back to her desk. Noah drapes the expensive jacket over his arm. 

“Guess I shouldn’t be so careless next time,” he muses.

She frowns slightly.

“Got a little… distracted last night,” he continues, gesturing vaguely with his hand. “Saw this girl, and, well… just had to follow her. I suppose I got carried away inevitably.” His eyes darken slightly, teasing. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Can’t get her out of my head.”

She’s blushing, of course. 

And that’s exactly what he wanted—to make her blush. 

“Prettiest?”

“Prettiest,” he repeats. He takes his hand to his sunglasses and moves them up to his head. When his brown eyes fall on her, she feels that tingling sensation coursing through her again. “Sweetest. Couldn’t keep my hands off her,” he continues, knowing very well what he’s doing. “Guess everything else just… slipped my mind.”

Heat flares up her neck. Why isn’t he upset? Why isn’t he at least a little annoyed that she slipped out of his bed after hours of making love? Why does he have to be so charming to her when she deserves none of that?

“Do you… regret it?” she blurts. 

His brows lift slightly. “Regret it?” he echoes. He glances down at the jacket draped over his arm. Then he smirks. “I’d lose ten of these if it meant spending another night like that with her.” 

She bites her lip, grinning like an idiot. Like the idiot she is for assuming he was a divorced dad.Jesus Christ. She pinches the bridge of her nose, ducking her head to hide her flushed cheeks.

After a beat, he adds, “but preferably if she’s there in the morning.”

Oh.

“What about you?” he asks. “Anything you regret?”

She draws in a slow breath. 

“One thing, yeah,” she admits.

“Yeah?”

By the way his face changes, she can tell he’s suddenly feeling uncertain. Does he think she regrets being with him? That she regrets letting him touch her, letting him fuck her?

“I… want to make up for it,” she says. “So that I don’t carry this regret with me any longer.”

He watches her carefully. “Sounds like one you’ve carried for quite some time.”

She scoffs. If only he knew…

“Long enough to make a fool of myself,” she says. “But I’d like to fix it.”

His lips twitch, fighting back a smile. “You would?”

She nods, pulse quickening. She gives him the sweetest, most disarming smile. “I think I could. If you let that pretty girl spend another night in your hotel bed…”

Noah exhales. With his free hand, he reaches for her, his fingers curling into the fabric of her dress, pulling her toward him. Close enough that when he lowers his head, his nose brushes against hers.

“I don’t think that’s going to be enough, sweetheart,” he murmurs. She presses a hand against his chest—not to push him away, but to steady herself, to feel the solid of him beneath her palm. And, if she’s being honest, just to touch him again. “She needs to stay till morning. Otherwise, no deal.”

She decides she’s going to seal the deal with a kiss. But just as she tilts her head and parts her lips—

“Hey, Sebastian! Say hi to your daughter!” Folio’s voice rings through the lobby. 

They both freeze. 

Noah blinks. 

“What?”

She turns her head just in time to see Folio crossing the marble-floored lobby, a mojito in hand, looking far too pleased with himself before disappearing around the corner. Her face burns. Noah’s expression is one of utter confusion. 

“Is he drunk?” he asks. 

A small laugh escapes her as she drops her forehead against his chest. He still hasn’t let go of her dress. Her fingers grasp the fabric of his white t-shirt as her embarrassment melts into quiet amusement.  

“I thought you were a divorced dad.”

Noah stills. Then he’s lifting her chin with the bend of his fingers. “A divorced—What are you talking about?”

“I accidentally saw a message on your phone this morning—Lily’s message,” she explains. “I was just checking the time, I swear. And when I saw the message, I immediately assumed... that you were divorced. And that you had a child.”

He stays still for another beat, just looking at her. Then, to her complete and utter relief, he throws his head back and laughs. The sound is so warm and rich that it dissolves the last of her tension. 

“Thank God,” he says. 

“Thank God?”

“That you left because of that and not because I snore.”

“You don’t snore,” she assures him.

He exhales through his grin, his thumb brushing her chin. “And you’re adorable.”

“Pretty sure I’m just stupid.”

“Stupidly adorable.”

“Thanks,” she rolls her eyes, only confirming what he just said. 

Adorable. 

Her stomach betrays her then, letting out a low rumble. 

She groans. Seriously, can I catch a break?

Noah glances down at her middle with a grin, amusement dancing in his eyes. 

“Perfect timing.”

“Huh?”

“Now that I’ve got my jacket back, and I found the pretty girl I was looking for…” he pauses and tilts his head, “I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me?”

Like he even needs to ask. 

“I’d love to.”

“It’s a date, then.”

He offers his hand. She takes it, just like last night. 

They share a light lunch at the seaside restaurant of the hotel, which is located beneath a shade of swaying palm trees and cottage-like roof. The ocean stretches before them, glistening under the midday sun, waves rolling lazily onto the shore. The air is charged with salt and the aroma of grilled seafood, mingling with the faint sweetness of tropical flowers. 

Their table is a feast of colors—salad with citrusy vinaigrette, golden spring rolls, focaccia glistening with olive oil, and a selection of small plates. Conversation is effortless between them as the breeze rustles through the palm fronds and plays with her hair. 

They talk about everything. Food. Music. Work. He asks about her studies, and she asks about the book he’s reading. He makes her smile. She makes him laugh. She even offers him a bite of her plate and feeds him with a fork. They never mention the fact that last night she had his cock in her mouth or that he mapped out every inch of her with his tongue until she was shaking under him. 

After the plates are emptied and cleared, they stay, reclining in their chairs as the slow afternoon unfolds. The occasional lull in conversation is easy. It’s a silence that doesn’t demand to be filled. 

They sip iced tea later, enjoying each other’s company as the engulf in the refreshing drink. 

She watches the horizon, the endless stretch of blue where the sea meets the sky, and the way the light dances on the water. Noah watches her. Her profile is beautiful, so soft. A picture of tranquility as she takes in the view, lost in the beauty of the landscape. There’s something about the way she looks right now that makes everything else fade into the background.

Noah is in love, and he knows it. He’s been for a long time. He’s not letting her leave his bed the next morning, or any other for that matter. 

“Want to go for a swim?”

His question shakes her out of her momentary haze where she was imagining herself in the water, wrapped around Noah’s torso, being kissed under the sun. 

“What, in jeans and Adidas?” She jokes, giving his outfit a pointed once-over. 

Noah glances down at himself. “Yeah, good point… I’ll go get changed.”

She hums, pushing back her chair at the same time. “I’ll grab the sunscreen.”

They leave together, strolling through the resort’s sun-drenched pathways, holding hands. In the hallway outside their rooms, Noah keeps their arms extended and hands together before reluctantly releasing her. 

He should have kissed her. The though gnaws at him as she disappears three rooms down. 

It’s fine. He’ll kiss her when he has her in his arms again in a matter of minutes. 

They meet ten minutes after in the lobby. Noah has swapped his jeans for black swim trunks, his sneakers for flip-flops. His white T-shirt remains. a towel is slung over his shoulder. His eyes rack down the white bikini peeking through the airy fabric of her sundress. She catches the way his jaw ticks, how his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. 

She shakes the sunscreen bottle in front of him. “Got it.” 

Noah takes the tote bag from her with a quiet smile, ever the gentleman.

When they step onto the beach, they walk a little farther from the resort’s main area, the sand cool beneath their feet as they seek out a quiet spot all to themselves. The beach is tranquil, mostly deserted, with only a few scattered sunbathers, the low season keeping it peaceful. They lay out their towels side by side. 

Of course, Noah suggests applying sunscreen on her. To her surprise, he’s again very gentlemanlike about it, asking for permission before he spreads the lotion across the curve of her ass. When she turns around and offers her chest to him, her nipples are visible through the fabric of her bikini top. He notices, obviously. But doesn’t say a word. When his fingers lightly access under the fabric and caress the curve of her breasts, she holds her breath. Then Noah pokes her nose, leaving a streak of cream on the tip and laughs, a boyish sound. 

“Charming,” she says. 

“I know,” he replies.

But even when he says that, it seems that his usual cocky grin is subdued. He seems more serious now, his gaze more intense and darker than it was the night before, like something in him has shifted. There’s a depth to his look, a quiet mindfulness that wasn’t exactly there before, the previous night when they were finally all brave and playful.  

She tries to see what’s there, in his eyes, but before she can, he hands her the sunscreen bottle. “Your turn,” he says. 

An hour under the sun and Noah’s freckles begin to appear more prominently across the bridge of his nose, like a constellation made of stars. He seems unaware of how they dot his face, of the beauty he carries with himself, as natural and unassuming as the rest of him. 

Eventually, she pulls herself away from staring at him and buries her attention in a book, propped on her forearms, body stretched out on the towel. Noah takes a nap before shifting to lie on his side and starts kissing her shoulder. He inquiries about the book she’s reading. The Remains of the Day. Noah mentions he’s read something from Ishiguro before—Never Let Me Go, perhaps? He pretends to read the chapter she’s focused on, but his lips and fingers have other plans, distracting her with light touches, making her laugh and squirm when he starts tickling her. 

The book eventually ends in Noah’s hands. He starts reading the novel, for real, and lets her explore the tattoos on his chest, stomach and arms, answering distractedly every question she has about them. 

She rests for a while on the towel, gazing at the sky with her hands flat on her stomach. After a while, she gets up and walks toward the water.

The sun is beginning its slow descent, melting into the horizon, bleeding orange and pink across the sky. The beach is nearly empty except for the two of them and some tourists in the distance.

The waves lap gently at the shore as she steps into the cool, damp sand. The wind carries the scent of salt and something floral. The beauty of the moments feels surreal, and she wonders if she’s dreaming again. 

Time slips away as she stands in the sand, waves crashing around her, her hair tousled by the wind. She’s unaware of the male gaze observing her from the towel. But an instant or two later, male arms are wrapped around her middle, and Noah’s cheek presses against hers.

She nuzzles into him, placing her hands over his and letting his movements guide her, swaying. She’s never felt so… at ease.

“It’s hard to believe in anything that’s not this moment, right now,” he murmurs into her hair.

She cradles his cheek and turns to face him. Their eyes meet, and there’s no pretense, no walls. 

“Is this what I’ve been missing?” She asks, searching the depths of his brown eyes.

Yes, it is, but instead of answering her question, he says, “I should have said something earlier.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she replies, a tender hand cupping his sun-kissed cheek face. “I should’ve understood earlier. The way you used to look at me… It was too dreamy to be real.”

He presses a kiss to the palm of her hand, his voice low. “I wish I could tell you…”

“Tell me what?”

“Everything. What this means to me. How I feel. How I’ve felt for years and how awful I feel for not having had the guts to—”

She places a finger on his lips.

“We’re here,” she presses her body against his for emphasis. “Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. What this means to you… it means the same to me, Noah. I dreamt of you. You were my every fantasy. For years.”

“Tell me your dreams,” he demands. “I’ll make them come true. Each and every single one.”

“You’re already doing that.”

Noah’s fingers brush against the damp skin of her back. The world around them hums with distant laughter and soft music, but here, in their little pocket of space, time feels suspended. His touch wanders. He shifts closer because he needs her.

Unintentionally, right before he’s about to kiss her, his fingers catch on one of the strings of her bikini top. A simple tug. The tension in the knot gives way too easily. He is barely aware of what he’s done before the fabric slackens. 

A breath. A pause.

She stiffens, just slightly. Her shoulders tense, her body alert in the way someone instinctively braces for exposure. Noah realizes what he’s done in the same instant she glances around, eyes darting to the people farther up the shore. They’re too far to see, too lost in their own moments to notice. But still, she hesitates.

However, she doesn’t reach to fix it.

She doesn’t step away. 

Instead, she turns her gaze back to him, eyes gleaming. 

He understands.

His breath catches as he lifts his hands again, this time deliberate. His fingers find the second tie at the nape of her neck. The knot comes undone easily beneath his touch, the damp fabric slipping free. The bikini top flutters down, catching the breeze before landing softly at their feet in the sand.

Before she can move, Noah closes the space between them. His arms come around her, hands on her waist, pulling her against him, their bodies flush. His warmth envelops her, shielding her. Protecting her.

His thumb traces over the faint scar just beneath her breast. He lingers there, reverent, as if trying to read her past through it. 

“That’s a story for another day,” she whispers.

His fingers flex against her skin. “I’ll take care of you.” 

A soft exhale leaves her lips before she rises onto her toes, hands threading around his neck. Their mouths meet—slow at first, tasting the promise. Then deeper. Needier.

He doesn’t think before his arms tighten around her waist. He lifts her and he carries her forward, her legs around his hips, his feet greeted by water. Waves curl around them, rising to their waists as he holds her close.

She frees his hair from the bun. 

“I’m not sure you love the bun or hate it,” Noah muses. 

She grins against his wet lips. “I love how ridiculously hot it makes you look,” she admits, “but the urge to run my fingers through your hair is impossible to resist.” 

He hums in satisfaction and kisses her with an open mouth, hungrier and greedier.

There’s only the press of their bodies, the rhythm of the tide, the quiet gasp of her breath against his mouth.

And the night, vast and endless, coming to swallow them whole.

Steam curls into the air as water cascades down their bodies. The salt is long gone from their skin, for they’ve been in the shower longer than they can track. 

They move around each other in the small space, washing and rinsing, touching slowly, learning. 

He washes her hair, fingers massaging her scalp, nails scratching lightly in a way that makes her eyes flutter shut. She does the same for him, but when she stands in front of him, on her tiptoes to reach, he nibbles at her wrist, making her giggle—so much that he has to catch her before she slips. 

 She’s happy, thinking about how her hair will smell like his now. 

They stand under the stream of water for a while, hugging, saying nothing. 

When she shivers, Noah shuts off the water and hands her a towel before grabbing one for himself. 

Later, after they’ve brushed their hair and dried off, still wrapped in towels, she catches sight of him at the sink, securing a pink butterfly clip into his damp hair, pinning a few strands back from his forehead. 

From where she’s perched on the bed, with a foot propped up to apply moisturizes, she bites her lip to keep from grinning.

“That’s adorable.”

Noah glances at her in the mirror, then snorts when he realizes what she’s talking about. “Lily gave it to me when she was eight. Said it made me look cooler.” His mouth quirks. “She lied, obviously.”

“No,” she says, setting her foot back down on the carpet and flipping her hair over one shoulder. “It’s very fashionable. You should wear it all the time.”

“Instead of the bun? I don’t believe you,” he teases back. 

She sticks her tongue out and walks toward her suitcase, which she’d brought over from her room after they got back from the beach. He watches her, leaning against the sink with his arms crossed over his chest. Water still beads along her collarbones. 

She grabs her underwear, then pauses, letting it dangle from her fingers. When she turns back, the fact that Noah was watching her makes her heart jump. 

The way he stands there, with only a towel slung around his waist and damp hair messy except for that ridiculous pink clip doesn’t help the heat curling low in her stomach. 

She considers the fabric between her fingers, then tilts her head. 

“Do you want to get dirty again?”

His eyes darken, a slow, lazy smirk playing at his lips. “Do I want to get dirty again?” he repeats. “I think you know the answer to that, love.”

 Her smile could stop wars. 

She drops the underwear back into the suitcase and walks up to him, fingers grasping the hem of his towel, brushing against the skin just below his navel. 

“The clip stays on,” she says. 

Noah exhales a quiet laugh, raising an eyebrow as he lets her guide him toward the bed. 

“On one condition,” he says, catching her wrist just before she can tug the towel away and reveal his growing erection. 

She lifts a brow.     

“The clip stays on,” he murmurs, voice dipping lower, “as long as you do.” 

They hold each other’s gaze. The space between them disappears, years of hesitation dissolving into certainty. 

Her smile widens, so big it makes her cheeks ache. 

He just sealed a deal that will have him wearing that hair clip forever. 

He knows. 

She tugs the towel from his waist and rises onto her toes, pressing her lips to his. 

And then, there is no space left between them and no more years of sleep. 

💕 Happy Valentine's Day to all of you, my loves:

@rumoured-whispers | @iconic-taurus | @bloody-spades | @bluestdai | @theanarchymuse95

@somebodyels3 | @blade-dressed-in-red | @todressabladeupinred | @turn-your-life-into-folklore | @thecoyotescry

@iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning | @tosoundlessdarkistare | @missduffsblog | @flowery-mess | @chey-h

@tf-is-aesthetic | @alwaysfightforwhoyouare | @fadingangelwisp | @respectfulrebel | @amelia-acero

@theasowle | @xxkatsatwatwafflexx | @lunabuna991 | @ferduttini | @lacy1986

@bad-idea2021

I'm sorry if I forgot someone!

[dandysworldhcs]

ANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGST

who will I be making depressed today? the mains because I kin 3 of them holy shit (in two parts. this is part one YIPPEE) (also these are the 3 I kin)

berry boy:

ahem. after the ichor incident, sprout became really scared for what could happen, but eventually he suppressed it and basically turned it into a kind of need to feel like he's protecting someone. like for example even if everyone is safe he just HAS to check just in case because what if this what if that this could go wrong that could go wrong if this happens that could happen and this has happened before so if I do this I can lessen the chances of thing happeni- and gets burnt out significantly quicker than... literally everyone else in gardenview. he won't admit it though he'll just sit in his room with the door barricaded (the handlers had the keys to the door locks) trying to function properly, and if someone tries to check on him he'll hide under his bed or desk to avoid being seen because UH OH DANGER DANGER WHY AM I BEING SEEN DOING NOTHING UHHHH OH NO !!! irrational panic basically (even though the only entrance is barricaded...). also, when he discovered tapes could be used to heal he immediately began using them on runs because if even a single person is not on full health he cannot feel relaxed in the slightest- but the dumbass doesn't care if he's on one and WILL run away from cosmo at 1 if he doesn't have enough tapes to heal him back (I'm totally not projecting all of this totally). also random but he will definitely cry if you yell at him (he'll go somewhere to hide before crying though). also has a habit of assuming everything that goes wrong has to be his fault because 'he was supposed to make sure everything went fine'

asstroke:

eepy hypersomniac who in a lot of situations wants to just sleep instead. he dozes off a lot because of that. also, it might be a bit subtle, but he can tell when his friends aren't rested, and usually tries to fix it, even if it's the kind of tired sleep can't fix. also, the guilt from knowing too much about the ichor operation and not being able to say anything about it to protect dandy eats at him endlessly. but you know when he's free from all that? in his curated dreams, where nothing can affect him, where he can be happy, free from all the depressing truths gardenview has to offer (think basil from omori but with sunny's headspace). he's starting to see everything as a kind of cycle... and he's kinda losing motivation to do pretty much anything, but he kinda still has to to survive so. also, the insecurity about his extra arms came from when gardenview was still open, a lot of children called him bug-like for it or even just straight-up scary or ugly, so now he just hides 'em by turning himself into a burrito with his blanket. also, not depressing but... he's just always cold, so he wears a shirt, another shirt, then poncho, then blanket

ammonite wannabe:

being constantly ignored by everyone has increasingly proved to her that no one really cares about her, and that has made her more open about her feelings. no one's listening, what's the point in not thinking out loud? she's done the thing where she just doesn't talk and sees if anyone notices... and they do! but they jokingly say 'aren't you gonna start yapping about dinosaurs around about now?' but unfortunately, she didn't realise it was in a joking way and ended up 'realising' everyone thought of her as the dinosaur girl, not anything else. not a person, not someone worth loving, just 'the girl who likes dinosaurs'. she also secretly gets REALLY happy whenever she gets hurt on a run because that means she'll get healed, which is a form of care!!! yay!!! (can you see the dynamic yet. guy who stresses whenever anyone gets slightly hurt and girl who loves getting hurt to feel cared about. and they're totally 100% not both me) sometimes people just don't notice, but usually it's fine. she yaps about dinosaurs because it's something she's interested in and she wants people to know all about them!!! but unfortunately people thought it was annoying that she talked about them so much, so they avoided her. this led to her thinking that people just don't want to be around her, and that they weren't wrong for it

- psstyourbonesarewet anon

wet bone anon. watch out. im coming for you. you arent gonna see it comonv.

[bobblestheninja]

I don't understand TERFs because it's as if they're asking me to be complicit in my own imprisonment and thinking I should be happy about it.

Before any TERFs comment thinking I'm just upset because I'm a trans woman, I have a uterus, I was born with it, and I bleed out of it every month.

No, the imprisonment comes from you and your policing of "women's" spaces

Many of you say you "always know" that someone is trans, based on arbitrary features, and those often boil down to how one dresses, acts, or looks. If someone doesn't pass your vibe check they get harassed and chased out of the bathroom.

First of all, I'm autistic, and I have sensory issues. A ton of things are extremely uncomfortable for me, and now that I'm almost 28 I'm too old to be forcing myself to be uncomfortable.

I've always had small breasts, and actually bras are uncomfortable, I can get away with sports bras, and have worn them exclusively for over a decade. I don't do padding, it makes me uncomfortable and gets in the way, so between that and a large tee-shirt it can look like I've got nothing.

Then there's the fact that I have some wierd form of dysmorphia, due to some joint issues, which means that I have to wear long pants... but because of coordination issues long skirts are a great way for me to end up eating shit on the pavement.

Then there's the fact that those joint issues mean I literally can't wear heels or I will actively subluxate my knees and ankles. These days even women's sneakers have a slight heel, enough to mess up my joints, so I'm stuck with exclusively combat boots.

Then there's the inability to wear make-up, because it is sensory hell and is the equivalent of trying to wear a layer of sandpaper on my face.

I don't do purses because I have memory issues, so I use backpacks, because they're much harder to forget and I can use them to carry around medical supplies, backup items, and multiple books...

My proportions are slightly off due to a genetic disorder I have, and I've been told I look like my father's daughter. As a kid I was even called little *father's name*ette occasionally, because it was obvious I was his kid.

The one thing I have that looks "feminine" is my hair, because I keep it long for stimming, but I don't dye it or do anything fancy with it, because again, autism.

So I've got enough *off* about me that I may not pass a vibe check, and I have to worry about some TERF trying to defend the bathroom from me.

Bathrooms no longer feel safe, because we've now got the risk of bathroom police deciding to harass women who are disabled, who can't/don't wear make-up, who have small breasts (or have had a double mastectomy due to cancer), who are autistic, who don't dress feminine enough... basically anyone who doesn't pass the vibe check.

I feel uncomfortable going into a washroom with other women. Not because there might be a trans woman in there trying to pee and get out, but because someone might decide I don't look "woman" enough, and then call the police on me.

What is one even supposed to do in that situation? When a woman has convinced herself that you're a man and therefore a danger? Should I rip off my pants and underwear to show you my vulva? Or should there be a scanner on the bathroom door that I have to show my genitals to be allowed in, and maybe to submit a blood sample to? Do I need to get my DNA sequenced and have the results on hand at all times?

What do I need to do to be safe in the woman's restroom? Not from trans women, but from TERFs.

[amidnightqueery]

I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless

[faultyconscience]

if barb really thought her husband was just a naive idiot or any other dumb things i've read and just wanted to be a completely vindictive cunt, coop would not even be allowed to see janey, let alone have any kind of custody of her.....

[statisticalcats2]

One of these days I'll finally learn my lesson about the trap of thinking I can tell my mom stuff about what I'm doing in the little independence I have in my life. Today was not that day.

[likeawolfatthemoon]

yesterday i had a panic attack at work and sobbed for over an hour at my desk in front of all of my coworkers bc i was frozen to the spot and couldn't like...move myself to a different area at the very least. and i embarrassed the fuck out of myself and now i'm afraid of the new job that i loved 🙃

[scoriarose]

It makes me happy, divers make notifications of my girls baby photos and fond memories appear. And it's happy seeing those again. When it's just one, sometimes I wonder if someone has a super deep queue, or in diving this one post was especially meaningful or significant to them.

It's kind of like seeing a rerun of your favorite TV show, yeah I saw it before but I like seeing it again.

I'm also the sort that likes deep diving my own camera roll - 95% of it is my pets. I wonder what someone's camera roll says about them? Probably a lot, honestly.

ok i just got this thought out of nowhere but blog divers (people who scroll through a blog and reblog things that were posted YEARS AGO) are actually a super important part of the tumblr ecosystem

With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see

do not feel bad about diving through someone's blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive

(and if anyone has a problem with that, they can just block you or they can delete the root post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, two things that have absolutely no effect on the grand scheme of our lives)

[buttercupshands]

Thinking about what happened in the summer

Kids are... Really different when it comes to spending three weeks without their parents

Some start crying near the end of first day

Some start crying after couple of days

And some don't show anything while feeling the same

And being... I think English has a good word for that, let's go with a teacher but mix it with caretaker a little bit

I think seeing a kid cry at the end of that first day finally short circuited my brain, teens are way harder to understand that pre-teens who are literally still kids

They come around after a week, settle down and find new friends and your job stays the same mostly to be the one controlling their behavior

And then you'd have a kid crying again, because they miss home and the only thing you can really do is comfort them that they're not stuck here forever and that time flows so fast they won't notice it

And maybe they didn't. Time really did flew and they were leaving

Parents visited kids sometimes, of course, and it was so scary at first but they were mostly friendly and nice

Maybe because of that group chat that let them see that their kids are fine and are having fun

In the end for kids it was painful at first, but fun in the end. I got hugged more times than I could count when they were all leaving

And then poof

Back to your own life you go, like nothing happened

[sitronsangbody]

Please, please be considerate of your fat friends' needs and limitations. Fat bodies are heavy to carry around. I move about the world slower than my thin peers, and I've often had to choose between pushing myself to keep a pace that takes absolutely all my energy, or being left behind, when walking in a group. I don't always feel safe to ask that everyone walk slower, because there's a prevalent idea in society that fat people need to exert themselves as much as possible at all times in the service of weight loss, and that we never "really" need rest, therefore it's a good thing whenever we're exhausted. Fat people and thin people alike are taught that fatness is a flaw, one that fat people ourselves are to blame for, so we're not entitled to any accommodation or consideration. A friend of mine who is fat recently told me about a dinner party she went to where the chairs were far too small for her and she was sitting very uncomfortably. After the meal she politely suggested moving the party to the couch, but the others didn't want to. She spent another couple of hours in unnecessary pain, and didn't dare tell them about it. I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones. I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function? Please - take us into consideration when we're part of activities. Ask us which activities work and which don't. Adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving and sweating barrels on what's supposed to be a casual walk. Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something. When we do, don't treat us like we're the problem. Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not), won't do it on a moment's notice. If your response to "fat people deserve accommodations" is "what if they weren't fat though", you're playing a fantasy game. It's pointless. We are fat and we are here and we do partake in society. Work with that.

[strikersin]

Dreams. Dreams. DREAMS!

The one where I'm watching a movie at Luther's house and she is dressed in almost Russian attire - Fancy, cold, and so beautiful. And we're in bed and I'm explaining my excitement over the Pathologic movie and later we have to deal with zombies but whatever.

And I'm playing with children's toys there. Everyone is so young.

Real life when we were read The Last Unicorn or something, something, at the cafeteria table. The book where the protagonist is taught how to keep her thoughts locked up tight like a box.

Ugh.

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

I am a normal person who has had a normal amount of sleep

[primofate]

Drop the towel wrapped around you and appear naked in front of your Genshin husband

In a nutshell: That old tiktok challenge/prank. In your private, shared home of course.

Warnings: My perpetual warning as a writing mother is that I am sleep deprived. Very VERY sleep deprived. SUGGESTIVE: BORDERING ON NOT SAFE FOR WORK, written on a 10 minute timer please be gentle

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Cyno, Diluc, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Tighnari, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli, implied fem!reader

Personal Favourites: Tighnari

Aether

chokes on nothing

"Y-Y-Y/N?! What're you doing?"

Comes up to you and tries to cover you up with the towel again, as if it was a sin to look at you naked in broad daylight.

Full on blush on his face and respectfully tries to look away.

"Don't surprise me like that!"

Seems not to like it but actually likes it too much to the point of getting embarrassed for himself.

Yes he's your husband but is still a precious respectful man

Albedo

Blinks a couple of times but appreciates your beauty and gives your body a slow once over. Chuckles in amusement afterwards.

"Is there a reason for this?"

Just to get his reaction, you admit.

"Well..." starts walking towards you. "I do have higher self-control than most others... but let it be known that I'm far from immune to my..."

Stops in front of you and yet again seems to eat you up with his eyes. "...needs," ends with a suspiciously sweet smile.

Alhaitham

Can't help but be a bit surprised and you can see it by the way his eyebrows go up as soon as the towel hits the floor.

Opens his mouth to say something but closes it again, as if hesitating, which is really strange for someone like him.

"...Is this the part where I sweep you off your feet and carry you to our room?" there's a bit of amusement in his tone. Stands to walk over to you.

Places a hand on your waist.

"Cause I can guarantee you that we DON'T need to be in our bedroom for things to happen...but you knew that already, right?"

Ayato

Quirks his eyebrows up, amused smile appearing on his face.

"I must say, this is a lovely surprise,"

Traces your figure with his eyes. Then approaches you to hold your waist and dip in to kiss your neck softly.

"How could I ever resist, my love, when you're standing in front of me in all your magnificence?"

Takes the longest time just admiring and basking in your beauty, tracing every little part of your skin.

Baizhu

Lets pretend the snake ain't here okay?

Does a double take.

"Y/N, first off, you'll get a cold,"

Pushes his spectacles up and gives you a once over.

"Second, you'll give me a heart attack,"

Beckons you over gently with his hand. "Come over, I suppose it's been a while since...I've done a full body check,"

Hides a grin.

Cyno

Blankly looks at you and is still processing what is happening

"Y/N? Is this... Did I do something?"

Is so suspicious that this was some kind of trap.

You tell him its simply to get a reaction out of him.

Immediately shoots out of his seat and catches your wrist.

"Then...Is it my turn to get one out of you? There's several ways to do that...and I know your favourite ones,"

Diluc

Eyes follow the towel down to the floor and head snaps back up to blink at the sight in front of him. Recovers quickly.

Chuckles as he stands and walks over. Picks up the towel and drapes it around your shoulders. "Only because it's quite chilly tonight,"

but still ends up inching the towel off your shoulder, tracing your collarbone. "Although, as your husband, I suppose it IS my job to keep you warm... So how would you like it today, love?"

Itto

"WHOA!" by instinct covers his eyes with his hands but his fingers are actually splayed apart so he can totally see through the gaps

Feels himself getting aroused

I mean the guy gets turned on even just at the sight of your neck

Suddenly stands and walks over to you, easily hoists you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and makes a beeline to your shared room.

"You're asking for it Y/N!"

Kaeya

"Oho?"

Sits back and relaxes, he doesn't really know what he was expecting. Some type of show maybe. "What's this? Finally giving me that lap dance you owe me, snowflake?"

Laughs but you're incredibly flustered at the suggestion.

Beckons you over and grabs you by the waist to sit on his lap.

"Feel that?" he whispers in your ear.

Oh you feel it alright, pressing at your upper thigh.

"Now whose fault is that? You'll have to do something about it now, love,"

Kaveh

"Archons!"

Looks away with a blush on his cheeks.

"Put something on!"

Yes he's seen you naked before, you're married, but the guy's always flustered in unexpected events.

You provoke him further by coming over, sitting sideways on his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Y/N!" He looks down at you and can't help but look at your nakedness in full and close view.

Gulps but starts to feel his body heat up, his hands suddenly, assertively planting themselves on your waist as he meets your eyes. "I don't care what you say about yourself, but know that you're the only one who takes me from 0 to a 100 in a second,"

Kazuha

"Y/N?" Chuckles nervously and takes in the sight of your body.

Smiles at you and takes your hand to kiss the back of it.

"I've seen you countless of times... Each time, I'm reminded by how fortunate I am that you chose me to take care of you,"

Caresses your cheek all the way down to your jawline. "You're beautiful, Y/N,"

He has the most tender and gentle look on his face, but its mixed with a passion that you've never seen on anyone before. "Let me show you how much I love you, dear,"

Neuvillette

Eyebrows twitches upwards in surprise. Has no clue what to do in this new situation.

He doesn't say anything but is most definitely enjoying the view of your body. You see his jaw tense up, as if he's clenching his teeth.

"Ahem," he starts. Then seems to have the most trouble prying his eyes away to meet your gaze. "Is this...perhaps another way to tell me... that you would like some attention?"

You say not really and just wanted to see how he would react.

"Ah," he lets out, as if understanding and as if the conversation has ended.

A moment of silence passes and you're starting to wonder if that was all he was going to do. But he then stands and places a gentle hand on your bare waist. "...So you're simply doing it, as people would say, 'for fun'?"

He asks, and you say yes innocently. He smiles a bit and has another hand cupping your face and thumbing your lips. "I see," breathes out slowly.

"Unfortunately, for your actions, the Iudex feels that a punishment is in order,"

Scaramouche

Raises one eyebrow as if he's bored. Then smirks.

"If you wanted it, all you had to do was ask," pulls you by the waist and makes you straddle him "But this is good too,"

Hands actually start to grope you up and down. Will fondle and squeeze in private places immediately.

"What? Startin' to feel good? S'what you get when you play games with me,"

will smack your butt the first chance he gets

Tartaglia

Immediately jumps up and in an automatic daze, eyes glued to his favourite parts, trudges towards you and attempts to bury himself in softness.

You quickly stop him and in turn HE quickly stops you. Hands easily bunching your wrists up together and angling them upwards above your head.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," he grins down at you. "Someone's being naughty,"

You complain that he reacts too fast.

Laughs, but his hand starts to unbuckle his pants and there's a dark look in his eyes. "Oh, I'm just being naughty back. When you want something, Y/N, believe it when I say I'll GIVE it to you,"

Tighnari

ear twitches. Tail swishes back and forth. Does not show any expression except slight curiosity.

"What's the occasion?"

You tell him that you just wanted to see his reaction.

He hums and nods slowly, like processing some type of complicated information.

"Wait here, I'll be back in a minute,"

You ask him where he's going and you're a bit upset at the lack of response from him.

He chuckles and returns to you, tail angling upwards in an attempt to wrap and brush against your waist. Takes your hand, presses your wrist against his lips and seems to take a slow breath in.

"I'm merely clearing off my schedule for today. Now, be patient, I'll be back,"

Wriothesley

Almost spits out his drink but gulps it all down instead.

Eyes widen a fraction at the sudden act but his hand is already loosening his tie.

"Wait right there precious," chuckles while he says this, tie already falling to the ground, now unbuttoning his vest. At the same time walks over to you urgently as if you're going to disappear but laughs nervously while he's at it.

"I swear you'll be the death of me,"

Looks like he's going to pounce on you but when he reaches you he only gives you a chaste kiss, as if asking for permission first.

You suddenly remind him that he has a LOT of things to do today, appointments and all.

Actually barks out a quick laugh. "You're not really expecting me to walk out now? As far as I'm concerned," pulls you flush against him and kisses your jaw "The only thing I need to do today is you,"

Xiao

"Wh-Wh-What do you think you're doing?!"

caught unprepared. Crosses his arms and looks away. Pretends he's uninterested but his eyes still dart back to look at you.

You ask him if he likes what he sees.

He now completely looks away from you. A few seconds pass and when he turns his head back to look at you there's now a carnal look in his eyes.

He walks towards you slowly and captures your chin to tilt it up. Looks down at you as if he hasn't eaten a meal in days.

"...When I'm done with you tonight you'll get your answer,"

Zhongli

Chuckles. Amused.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, dear?"

You shrug and even do a turn for him. He watches you carefully and takes in the image in front of him.

Smiles and strides over towards you. "Truly a magnificent sight," brushes his fingers against your neck

His eyes trail downwards and isn't shy about looking at your body. "Might I remind you my dear, my stamina surpasses that of a normal human," he smiles at you sincerely.

You tell him that you're well aware. He just chuckles again.

"Then you know well what'll come next,"

End

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